LIVE! February 21st 2022
From Bedrock City
IN Williams, Arizona
~An ad about American Presidents play. We get shots of all the famous ones. Ya know, the ones you’ve heard so much about. In other words, you aren’t getting images of Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, or Chester A Arthur. Poor, dead bastards. It’s President’s Day! And the montage ends with one final shot of the greatest president of all...or, well, he’s not really a president, he’s more of an owner...so we’ll say LEADER. We get a shot of Mike Zybala wearing one of those old timey wigs in a black and white painting looking oh-so regal and presidential. A voice says, “Today, we honor those who have the courage to lead. Happy Presidents Day!” The promo ends and we cut to ARIZONA!! Williams, Arizona, to be exact. We get a shot of Bedrock City...people are walking around, taking in the sights. Jack Puffer is caught getting a photo with one of the dinosaur statues. It’s all pretty cool. And then, right outside of Bedrock City is the OCW ring, surrounded by OCW fans. A barricade has been set up to create a ‘ringside area’...keeping the fans at bay and it extends all the way to Bedrock City, creating an aisle for the wrestlers to march down. The fans chant “OCW” because it’s Massacre and they have all gathered to watch idiots get their asses beat. So, let’s get to it, eh? EH?? AY!!~
Smith: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always, is Hood!
Hood: Yabba Dabba go fuck your mother.
Smith: Okay. Anyway, the stars are out tonight as 8 matches featuring some of the biggest, and brightest stars in pro wrestling are set to take place right before your very eyes!
Hood: Whoa, whoa...playing pretty fast and loose with the word ‘star’ aren’t you? I mean, Roach, A MOP...Alice Knight.
Smith: ALICE KNIGHT IS A HUGE STAR
Hood: More like a Huge SCAR ON THE ASS OF HUMANITY
Smith: Folks, don’t listen to my colleague...he’s just grumpy because we aren’t in Vegas this week.
Hood: Some truth in that statement.
Smith: It’s going to be a huge night, fans. We’re less than a week away from Carpe Noctem where 15...yes...15 wrestlers will enter The Great Illuminatus. A Pyramid Scheme Match. At the end, only one will exit with the OCW Title.
Hood: If there’s one thing that’s remained true throughout the twenty plus years this place has been in operation...its this. OCW loves to fuck over their champion.
Smith: Well, I don’t know about that...but I do know that the scene around here has never been more exciting. So, let’s get this show kicked off with a debut so anticipated it’s got bacteria all around the globe shaking with fear.
Hood: Oh for fuck’s sake.
Smith: Let’s head to ringside as we kick things off with THE MOP
The Mop (0-0) vs. Zeus (0-1)
~“Enter Sandman” by Metallica blasts throughout Bedrock City. Hades appears, riding a bicycle, pulling Zeus, seated atop a cart toward the ring. Fans watch and snicker and laugh. But, Zeus keeps his head held high for he is THE KING OF THE GODS. He reaches the ring and hurries up the ropes, entering into the ring~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...from Mount Olympus...he is THE KING OF THE GODS...he is the ALMIGHTY ZEUS!!!
~Zeus throws a fist into the air. We kinda expect some lightning or some shit to come down but...he’s just a little man with some serious psychological issues...so, nothing happens. The music stops and the crowd begins to stir~
Smith: Zeus back in action tonight. He’s in desperate need of a win.
Hood: Let’s get real here, if he can’t win this match then he should probably suicide himself and return to ‘the heavens’ or wherever he’s from.
Smith: And we’re off and running
~The crowd begins to buzz. And, soon, that buzz turns into a chant. “MOP! MOP! MOP! MOP!” We pan through the frenzied fans as they are all holding mops and shaking them in the air in correspondence with the chants. ‘MOP! MOP! MOP!’~
Smith: Listen to these fans, Hood! They want THE MOP
Hood: NOAH! GET THE BOAT
~Our view cuts to a trailer located on site. A door features a label that reads “THE MOP.” OCW head of security, Knux walks up to it. As he does, the theme for GOLDBERG begins to play. Knux beats on the door. It blasts open and a bucket of water bounces its way down the stairs to the ground. Inside the bucket of water is THE MOP! The crowd goes wild! Knux leads the way with security flanking the bucket of water and THE MOP as it rolls outside of Bedrock City and toward the ring. “MOP! MOP! MOP!” chant the fans~
Smith: And here comes The Mop!!!
Hood: Geezus
Smith: Listen to these fans! It’s deafening out here!
~The MOP’s entourage reach the ring, parting. The bucket rolls up near the ring and comes to a stop. The fans continue chanting, shaking their mops in the air. Zeus stalks the ring, pacing back and forth, hyping himself up. This might be the biggest match of his career~
Belvedere: From The World’s Finest Janitor’s Closet...ladies and gentlemen, I give you...THE MOP!!!
~HUGE OVATION! Zeus yells out, ‘C’MON MOP, LET’S GO!’ We zoom in on THE MOP, it’s head immersed in cloudy white water. It remains still...composed. The security team backs away. Belvedere exits the ring, leaving Scruff (OCW’s referee) inside to call the action. We hear the bell sound. The music stops...but the fans continue chanting ‘MOP! MOP! MOP!’~
Smith: The Mop is here and it’s ready for action, Hood!
Hood: Break that Mop in half, Zeus! End this insanity!
~Zeus stands in the center of the ring, yelling at the MOP. Suddenly, the bucket shoots forward and THE MOP flies upward and over the top rope, flipping around...it’s soaking wet head smacking Zeus in the face and taking him down!!! The fans go wild~
Smith: The Mop has sprung into action! What a tremendous vertical leap!
Hood: Somebody kicked that bucket forward or hit an eject action or something...c’mon!
Smith: Zeus is down!
~Zeus struggles and finally manages to throw The Mop off of him. The Mop hits the mat and remains down. Zeus fumbles his way to his feet, wiping his face off. He looks down at The Mop and curls his upper lip. He’s pissed and he’s ready to make The Mop pay~
Smith: Uh oh, Zeus is angry.
Hood: For the love of...uhh, YOU. For the love, Zeus. Make that Mop pay!
~Zeus stomps on the Mop. The fans BOOOOOO!!!! Zeus smiles and tells the fans to suck his mighty dick. He continues stomping on The Mop...pacing around the fallen cleaning utility with an amazing amount of charisma. He talks shit to The Mop. He finally stands over The Mop’s head, his eyes impassioned with thoughts of death and destruction~
Smith: Oh no...don’t do it, Zeus! Don’t do it! It’s just a MOP
Hood: Oh, so now it’s JUST a Mop. Way to cut Zeus’ nuts off right before his first victory in, like, forever.
~Zeus lifts his foot up. The fans yell for Zeus to stop. He brings his foot crashing down onto The Mop’s head...but, as he does, it propels the handle upward and it SMACKS Zeus in the face!!!! The crowd goes wild!!! Zeus stumbles back into the ropes, holding his nose in pain, stunned. The fans are on their feet, ‘MOP! MOP! MOP!’~
Smith: What a counter by The Mop! Unbelievable!
Hood: -sickened groan-
Smith: This Mop is more than meets the eye, Hood.
Hood: And now you’ve ruined Transformers.
~Zeus looks down at his hand and finds some blood. The Mop’s busted his nose. “That’s IT!” he shrieks. Standing upright and going after The Mop. He yanks the Mop off the mat and holds it high in the air. The fans gasp with fear~
Smith: Hey! Whoa! Not this! NOT THIS
Hood: Yes! BREAK IT IN HALF!
~Zeus lifts his knee and brings The Mop down with swift precision. It comes crashing down across his knee...BUT IT DOESN’T BREAK!!! Instead, Zeus drops The Mop and yells out, holding his knee, limping around!!! The OCW fans go wild~
Smith: The Mop won’t break!
Hood: Unbelievable. Zeus, you are fuckin useless.
~Zeus limps around in tremendous pain. He’s completely unaware of his surroundings...his uninjured leg steps on The Mop’s hand and he slips, flying backward. His shoulders hit the mat with The Mop right behind him. Scruff slides in with the count. The fans chant along~
1!
2!
3!!!!!!
~The bell rings!!! The place goes crazy~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...THE MOP!!!!!
Smith: The Mop did it!! The Mop has defeated The King of the Gods!
Hood: I picked the wrong day to stop freebasing Cocaine
Smith: What a moment!
~Zeus remains down, holding his knee. He finally realizes what’s taken place and he gets to all fours, staring at The Mop. He’s enraged. He’s got evil designs for The Mop. But, a gust of wind blows through...The Mop rolls away. Zeus crawls after it...but the wind carries The Mop under the ropes and over the apron where it neatly falls back into its bucket. Zeus dives after it, narrowly missing. He hangs half out, over the bottom rope, staring hopelessly at the bucket as it turns and wheels back toward it’s trailer, with security flanking it. The fans resume chanting “MOP! MOP! MOP!”~
Smith: And there goes The Mop! An undefeated member of the OCW roster.
Hood: Ugh
Smith: Fans, I’m told The Mop will be available for pictures and autographs throughout the rest of the evening.
Hood: AUTOGRAPHS? How the fuck is the Mop supposed to sign anything? IT’S GOT NO HANDS.
Smith: I’m sorry, Hood. But I don’t hold physical liabilities against people.
Hood: What is this, the middle ages? Is THE MOP gonna ‘make its mark’ by dropping a smudge of dirty water on something?
Smith: I’ll let you know during an intermission when I get my own autograph.
Hood: Please, don’t. I’d rather not know.
Smith: Suit yourself. Folks, we’re off to a roaring start as THE MOP has made its in-ring debut and wheels out of here with a resounding victory!
~ We have switched back to the OCW Arena in Key West, in the dressing room of Veronica Strader where she is with her entourage of Marcy The Headmistress, Rox Gobbler (aka Roxxie G) and Madison Addison. Chuck is nowhere in sight. There is a giant box in the middle of the locker room, and the women all have their hands on their waists looking at it. ~
Veronica: Well it looks like it arrived, have any of you looked at it?
Marcy: Yeah, it’s pretty sweet, Vee.
Roxxie: I kinda want one now!
~ Veronica raises her brow looking over at Roxxie. ~
Veronica: Yeah, well, next time a spare 60K comes into play we’ll talk. It’s too late, but is this what you want to give to Lord Allton?
Roxxie: Yeah boss, he’s been a great GM for us Equality wrestlers. He’s made us more than eye candy.
Marcy: Yeah, giving us a real chance to show what we are worth. He definitely deserves this.
~ Veronica purses her lips as she nods in approval. Her hands slap her thighs and points to the door. ~
Veronica: Alright, let’s go.
~ We switch to ringside and see there are still people hanging out in the arena from the 24/7 experiment which is just basically watching the Outsider’s crew run around rampant and Zybala flipping tables over sporting events. “Just a Girl” by No Doubt hits the sound system and the crazy bath salt sniffers in attendance drop their pants and shake their genitalia around. The women all look at each other shaking their heads and walk down the ramp with Chuck not far behind driving a forklift with stilts on his feet as he is like 2 feet. Veronica and the girls enter the ring and Chuck leaves the box at the foot of the ramp and drives back up out of sight. ~
Veronica: Oh it’s good to see my OCW Faithful, I have missed you since we have been on the road seeing the nationwide OCW Faithful, and judging by all the helicopters in the crowd, you have missed me too. My entourage, who work full time for TUESDAY Night Equality, well they told me how much they love being on the brand, and how much they appreciate Lord Allton and his work as General Manager!
~ The fans give a pop for the Outsider’s legend and Equality GM. Veronica hands the microphone to Roxxie. ~
Roxxie G: Lord Allton, if you could come out here that would be swelllllllll!
~ When You’re Evil by Voltaire hits the speakers and Vincenzo, Frankie and Tank enter first and hold open the curtain for Lord Allton to wheel through. He has a confused look on his face. Tank is carrying Allton’s Outsiders World Title over his shoulder while Vincenzo carries a microphone. The quadrant stay at the top of the ramp way and Vincenzo hands his boss the microphone. ~
Allton: Good evening ladies. What’s all this? It’s not even my birthday….. By the way, Miss Strader, I know Dylan has already said it but….congratulations for your win at Access Denied. That was a hell of a match.
~Roxxie coughs a little, getting Allton’s attention again.~
Roxxie G: Lord Allton, we just wanted to say how much we appreciate your hard work and the tireless effort you give to the brand, and to me and Marcy! Marcy, will you do the honours? Lord Allton, come on down!
~ Allton makes his way down to the ring with the boys in tow and at the ring, they help him into the ring. The boys then stay on the outside at Allton’s request. Marcy pulls a set of box cutters from her ample cleavage and snaps the plastic straps that are holding the box together. The cardboard falls revealing a custom wheelchair that has a seat lift for Lord Allton to rise up and look people in the eye, but that’s not the cool part. ~
Roxxie G: We or I should say the Trans Atlantic Champion in her generous ways, got this for you. It’s a custom wheelchair powered by Harley Davidson.
~ That’s right, the camera pans around to see the V-Twin 1500 CC Harley Engine that was taken off a Road King, and has chopper-like tailpipes that are straight and turn upwards above the chair in height.~
Lord Allton: Wow! You did this for me?! I must say ladies, thank-you so much! How on earth did Harley Davidson make a wheelchair …..?
~Veronica goes to answer but Allton shakes his head. ~
Allton: I - no! Don’t tell me…. Never mind.
~Allton smiles~
Allton: Time to test this baby…. Ladies, would you be so kind?
~ Veronica and Maddison exit the ring so Marcy and Roxxie can help Lord Allton out of his old chair and up onto the seat of his new Harley powered wheelchair. Veronica hands him the keys to his new whip. ~
Veronica: Enjoy, Lord Allton. Be careful, she’s got some kick.
~ The girls head up the ramp leaving Lord Allton to his own devices. The boys help Allton and his new chair onto the arena floor. He revs up the chair and smiles~
Allton: This is gonna be good…….
~We cut to commercial~
~We return to Massacre. Hood and Smith are seated near ringside...Smith is enjoying a fresh salad while Hood chews down on a giant leg of meat~
Smith: What ya got there?
Hood: They say this is a brontosaurus leg but, I dunno, seems kinda small.
Smith: Looks like a turkey leg, to me.
Hood: Sooo...a Pterodactyl leg?
Smith: If that makes you feel special.
Hood: It kinda does.
Smith: Alright...well fans, we’re off to a fast and wacky start, as always. We’ve got some more in ring action coming your way...including the return of one of the nastiest, dirtiest, meanest wrestlers in company history.
Hood: Aww man -throws pterodactyl leg over his shoulder- Alice Knight is up? There goes my appetite.
Smith: Uh, no. Hood, she’s later. ROACH is next.
Hood: Fuck! -looks at his dirt covered pterodactyl leg- Gert derm it...I need to text Alisa.
Smith: What for?
Hood: I need a new pterodactyl leg, obviously.
Smith: Well fans, while Hood gets a new leg of food let’s head to ringside for the return of ROACH!
Roach (0-0) vs. Terry Gould (0-0)
~The fans are still wooing over THE MOP’S epic victory. Swooning, perhaps. Tingling in their nether regions. The MOP pleasures everyone. But, now is not the time to continue praising THE MOP...it’s time to move on to our next match. A match featuring another new face...but not an entirely unfamiliar one. That’s right, the face of an OCW favorite returning to the ring. It’s time to welcome back THE ROACH. Belvedere stands, ready to announce~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~No music plays. Terry Gould hustles to the ring with his old school wrestling tights on. This man is all business. He has SERIOUS respect for the sport. No pomp. No frills. None of that pyrotechnic bullshit. Nope, this man is about getting in that ring and grabbing hold of another man~
Belvedere: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 227lbs… “Heart Attack” Terry Gould!!!
~Not much of an ovation. A few of the older fans give the man a few claps. But, this dude is basically a poptart without the icing. Fucking bland. Although his shoes are kinda weird...the heels worn down fairly significantly, making it tough to walk around~
Smith: Terry Gould respects this business, Hood.
Hood: If he respects it so much why doesn’t he buy a new pair of boots?
Smith: Boots can be expensive.
Hood: Well, I guess respect doesn’t pay dick.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~”The Joker” The Steve miller band begisn to play and the entire crowd rises. ROACH suddenly appears from within the city of Bedrock, marching his way toward the ring. Fans keep their distance, aware of the man’s violent nature. He heads for the ring spitting and snorting, glaring at Terry Gould. If you’re a Terry Gould fan (yea, you) this doesn’t look good~
Belvedere: From Windsor, Ontario, Canada...standing 6’5 and weighing in at 265lbs...welcome back ROACH!!!
~Fans recoil a bit. I mean, they’re happy to see him back but, let’s get real, he’s named after the most reviled creature on the planet. Or, second most reviled. RATS are pretty fuckin high up on that particular list. Anyway, Roach marches up the steps and enters into the ring. Belvedere, having been witness to some of Roach’s violence in the past, wastes no time in getting out of harm’s way. Scruff nods at Roach. Roach gives Scruff a nod back. The bell sounds and we’re underway~
Smith: And Roach’s return is officially underway!
Hood: Man, who would have thought in 2022 we’d be talking about the return of an original member of The Family.
Smith: One of the most dominant factions in OCW history. Mario Maurako personally selected The Incredible One, Sean Fuller, and Roach as his stablemates and they did not disappoint.
Hood: Nope, they went to war with Brianna Casablancas and Alice Knight. Those were some wild times.
Smith: And then we saw the emergence of Operation Zero...a stable consisting of Scott Syren, Curt Canon, and PerZag.
Hood: Stop! I can only get so erect!
~Terry approaches the mammoth sized Roach. He eyes him as if to say “They didn’t use to make them this big back in my day.” He shrinks down and extends his arms, looking to grab hold of Roach and twist his body parts...wrestle him OLD SCHOOL. Roach just stares at the aging man with his anachronistic approach. Terry gets closer and closer~
Smith: Terry is looking to maybe take Roach down with a head lock or an arm drag. He needs to get this to the mat.
Hood: I can tell you right now...that ain’t happening.
Smith: Roach could be rusty. He could fall into Terry’s trap.
~Gould reaches out to grab Roach. But, Roach blocks it, he snares Terry and throws him across the ring. Terry screams out “AHHHH!!!” as he flies through the air, flips over, and lands upside down, back first into a corner!! He hits HARD! His body slides down before hitting the mat where he flops over, front down. Roach marches forward, grabbing Terry’s legs and dragging him toward the center of the ring~
Smith: And Terry’s approach proved to be fatal.
Hood: I mean...the fuck? He was just gonna walk up to Roach and grab him, taking him down? Is he serious?
Smith: Yea, definitely flawed.
Hood: That shit might have worked against ole Shooter McGraw but not against ROACH.
~Roach grabs Terry by what little hair he has left and throws him into a corner. Terry, again, hits hard...this time in a more normal, upright fashion. Roach charges in and squashes Terry with a HUGE clothesline!!! Gould leans into Roach, his arms limp. Roach knees Terry in the gut and shoves him down~
Smith: Roach is about to end Terry’s night.
Hood: Mercifully, if you ask me. Roach could literally kill this man.
~Roach hoists Terry up. He spins around...lifts Gould as high as he can before driving him down and into the mat with The Quench (Razor’s Edge)!!!!! The ring shakes from impact. Roach makes a sloppy cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...ROACH!!!!!
Smith: Roach victorious in his return!
Hood: Second best return of Roach’s career.
Smith: Second to what?
Hood: That time when he returned and dropped Alice Knight on her head atop cement. That was BY FAR the best return of anybody, ever.
Smith: Ugh. Folks, Roach looks as strong and frightening as ever. With BRIM and SuMa already on the roster...Roach just adds another ‘monster’ the rest of the regular sized folks have to worry about.
Hood: I’m all for having our fair share of giants. They’re too few and far between these days.
Smith: Indeed!
~As the cameras transition to the parking lot, OCW cameras take a look at a limo riding in style. The wheels softly stop, and out from the back emerges Kelson Hewitt. He's decked out in a suit and tie, wearing a smirk on his face~
Kelson Hewitt: Big night tonight.
~That statement couldn't be anymore true, as he walked over to back and lifted his bags, swiping them over his shoulder before shutting the trunk~
Kelson Hewitt: Everyone's talking about it. Talking about how I defeated Bob Grenier in the middle of that Massacre ring last week. Now, here I am, riding in style to shows... getting the night alone with Greta...
~The fans STILL wanna know how this lucky son'uv'a'bitch pulled off a win, much less how to impress a stunning chick like Greta Angelou. Kelson nodded as he walked~
Kelson Hewitt: Regardless of the prizes... the fame... the money... I'm still walking in here tonight with a task ahead of me. That task is to go on to prove myself by facing the very best in this company, and that next roadblock ahead of me is Veronica Strader.
~Kelson looks around, seeing the parking lot was empty. He let out a soft air, seeming somewhat frustrated~
Kelson Hewitt: You see, I heard what she had to say. She did what I expected her to do, and that's write off my win against Bob. Saying that because Bob's a racist lowlife, that I shouldn't respect him, especially because I'm not white.
~Kelson shrugged~
Kelson Hewitt: I'll let her stew on the irony of that statement she threw my way. Do I like Bob, the person? No. But do I respect Bob, the wrestler? Yes. I respect him for all that he's done, and without him, I wouldn't be getting the attention I'm getting. I wouldn't be afforded the chance to do battle with main eventers like Veronica. So as far as her trying to discredit me, trying to break down my short career thusfar by bringing up my past, I say nice try. Close, but no cigar.
~Kelson stopped in his tracks and looked at the camera~
Kelson Hewitt: In just a few hours, you're about to have the match of your life. You say you're nothing like anyone I've faced in the past? I say prove it. Not with your words, not with you trying to find a plot hole in every little thing I say, I say prove it with your wrestling. If you manage to beat me? Then I'll applaud you for your effort, but if, and I'm planning on making it when... I beat you? Then you'll be living the rest of your life knowing that little "1" mark on your record was given to you, by The Man Of Steel.
~Kelson turned his head, with his back being the last thing seen by the camera~
Kelson Hewitt: See you soon, V.
~We cut to commercial~
~We return to Massacre. Hood and Smith and looking at something online. It’s a list of people Gideon Cross wants to face. The announcers are confused~
Hood: Is this…
Smith: Yes.
Hood: But I thought he left because he didn’t have time to…
Smith: You know how that goes with some, Hood.
Hood: Weak ass bitch.
Smith: Fans, apparently Gideon Cross was so intimidated by B.A.L.D.’s promo that he gave management a fake excuse and bolted the promotion.
Hood: Some people are made of bones and marrow and other strong things...others are simply a sack of useless jizz.
Smith: Interesting analogy. Regardless, Gideon is no longer PROUD and STRONG. Instead, he’s off pursuing other options like cosmetology or equestrian ejaculation. We wish him the best.
Hood: So what does this mean for tonight?
Smith: It means B.A.L.D. needs a new opponent. Let’s find out who if anyone will step up to the plate!
B.A.L.D. (0-0) vs. ??? (0-0)
~The ring is settled nicely on the outskirts of BEDROCK CITY. Fans are still buzzing over the action they’ve witnessed thus far. THE MOP taking care of a literal god. Roach returning to form. So much amazing action! But now, potentially the most intriguing match of the program is about to take place~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The crowd gives a mixed reaction as B.A.L.D. makes his way to the ring. He’s got a scowl that would scare off a hungry puppy. Marching down an aisle keeping the fans at bay, BALD glances side to side every once in awhile. He spots a fellow bald man and reaches out, bumping fists with the guy. The guy sniffles, stifling emotion before raising his fist in the air and yelling ‘BALD AND BEAUTIFUL’. BALD reaches the ring and rolls in~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, from Bald Knob, Arkansas…
~BALD looks at Belvedere, confused. Belvedere just shrugs. It’s a town with the word ‘bald’ in it. BALD grumbles under his breath before finding a corner~
Belvedere: Standing 6’3 and weighing in at 253lbs….Baldwin Alex Leroy DeMarcus...otherwise known as B.A.L.D.!!!!
~BALD eyes Belvedere’s precious and luscious mane of hair. His eyes narrow...envy shooting from them at lethal speed~
Belvedere: Unfortunately, Gideon Cross backed out of tonight’s match. He was apparently too scared to face BALD. The promo was so fierce that ‘The Brat Prince’ tucked tail and ran. These are OCW’s words and not mine. So, taking his place tonight are…
~“The Sopranos Theme” plays and the fans pop! Emerging in the distance, toting his tommy gun and cigar is THE LOBSTER MOBSTER~
Smith: The Lobster Mobster is taking Gideon’s spot!
Hood: Gideon’s a full on bitch.
Smith: Hood, he’s got personal obligations he needs to…
Hood: True enough. He hates people with hair so...how the hell is he gonna feel about a human sized lobster?
~Lobster Mobster crawls up the staircase, across the apron and into the ring before popping to his feet~
Belvedere: From the Eastern Shore. He stands at a menacing height and a don’t mess with me weight. He is the feared LOBSTER MOBSTERS
~Belvedere exits. Scruff remains in the ring. He calls for the bell. The fans pop~
Smith: Two Enhancement Talents squaring off, Hood. Ironically, one of them will be penalized in their standings by winning this match.
Hood: So, should they both lay down? Call it a fuckin draw?
Smith: I can’t see The Lobster Mobster laying down. He’s got a reputation to maintain.
Hood: Yes, apparently the crab people have been pushing that neon algae to customers on his turf. Something he’s got to deal with when this match is over.
Smith: A mobster must maintain the integrity of his turf.
~BALD emerges from his corner and he approaches Lobster Mobster. He looks Lobster up and down...he sees NO HAIR. Lobster takes a puff from his unlit cigar and pokes BALD in the chest with it...he starts talking some mad mobster shit. BALD isn’t paying attention...instead, he’s eyeing Lobster’s mob hat~
Smith: Lobster Mobster laying down the rules of the underground but I don’t think BALD is listening.
Hood: I don’t think I want to listen to anymore after hearing that sentence that just came out of your mouth.
Smith: This is where we are, Hood.
~BALD reaches up and slaps the hat off of Mobster’s head. Lobster freezes with shock over the act of perceived insubordination. BALD narrows his eyes and looks at the top of Lobster’s head and...he sees...he sees a few strands!! Is it hair? Is it fabric? We don’t know. All we know is that it isn’t sitting right with BALD~
Smith: I think BALD sees hair!
Hood: Man, if this guy gets triggered by hair then he’s going to be feuding with the entire roster.
Smith: Do we have any other bald people?
Hood: Umm...do masks count? Cause you could say TLS is bald.
Smith: I’m no expert on BALD and his theories.
Hood: Oh! If the Dravers keep dying and undying their hair, they’ll be bald very soon.
~Lobster swings his tommy gun around, looking to make BALD pay for the act of disrespect. But, BALD slaps the gun away and leans in with a huge headbutt!! His super bald head crashing into the jaw of Lobster. Lobster falls to the mat, unconscious. The fans gasp...WHAT A HEADBUTT. The sun from the Arizona sky shines off BALD’s head...it blinds a few fans. He promptly makes his way to the nearest corner~
Smith: Wow! I’m not sure I’ve seen a more impactful headbutt.
Hood: Most people have hair cushioning the blow. That was straight skull on face.
Smith: So much skull.
~BALD reaches the top. He raises a fist and yells “BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!” the bald men in attendance chant “BIB! BIB! BIB!” BALD jumps off and crashes into Lobster Mobster with a diving Headbutt!!!! The ring shakes from the impact! BALD makes the cover...Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...B.A.L.D.!!!!!
Smith: BALD making short work of The Lobster Mobster.
Hood: Man, he cracked Mobster’s shell with that giant cranium of his. Fuckin BALD people, man.
Smith: A lot of pent up rage in that perfectly, immaculately shaved head.
Hood: Yea, we can make fun of bald people all we want but, typically, they’re not the type you wanna fuck around and find out with.
Smith: Indeed. BALD came in here looking like a joke but he leaves with a dominating win over Lobster Mobster!
~ We move to the ‘city’ of Bedrock, where we see Veronica Strader taking a stroll with part of her entourage in Madison Addison. They walk into the bowling alley where they find the Cowgirls From Hell bowling, drinking from two pitchers of beer and looking to be having a grand ol’time. Tamika notices Veronica and Madison walking towards them and gives her big sister a light soccer kick to the butt. Meghan doesn’t even seem phased by the kick but does something crazy and hugs Veronica. ~
Smith: Aww, I love to see mother and daughter reconnecting!
Hood: That’s because your mother’s a whore.
Smith: Where did I put the gun of yours I hid?
~ Veronica doesn’t immediately break the embrace, but she does and seems slightly wary. ~
Veronica: Um, hi Meghan. Tamika. What are you two doing here? You aren’t booked.
Tamika: Yeah, but it’s our money funding this road trip, and I don’t know about you, Ronnie, but I have always wanted to bowl where Fred Flintstone bowled. If you’ll excuse me, I am up.
~ Tamika struts over to the lane and looks to be trying to pick the perfect ball. Veronica glances at Meghan, right brow raised. ~
Veronica: She knows Fred Flintsone isn’t real, right?
Meghan: Ha, your aunt is a special one. Her craziness is part of her charm, and she’s very loyal. No one I trust more to have my back than her. So what are you doing? Looking for The Lost Stranger?
~ Veronica scoffs. ~
Veronica: Trying to find that guy is like trying to find a decent employee at the Rabbit. He’ll find me when he’s ready to take me one-on-one, whenever that might be.
Hood: Well, you had the chance last week right before his match. I swear damn Canadians.
Smith: You know the Cowgirls are Canadian too, right?
Hood: You didn’t let me finish: Damn, Canadians are fantastic. GREAT NATION TO THE NORTH!
Meghan: Well, I’ll be sure to let you know if we see him anywhere. Good luck in your match tonight, and I’m proud of you for securing the main event spot. You’ve earned it, baby.
~ Before Veronica can respond, Tamika interrupts. ~
Tamika: You are up, Megz. Just try and beat my Turkey, hoe!
Meghan: Oh, I will make you eat your words, you filthy sloot.
~ Veronica stands still for a moment before looking at Madison and nodding her head towards the exit.~
~We return to Massacre. Hood is leaning back, stretching. He looks over and sees Smith moving around, excitedly. He raises a brow, curious as to why Smith, all of a sudden, can barely contain himself~
Hood: You gotta piss or something?
Smith: No.
Hood: I mean it’s cool if you do. I can handle it. Pretty much every match before the main event is a ‘piss break’ match.
Smith: Hey! Some, maybe. But not this next one.
~Hood pauses. He leans in, narrowing his eyes and studying Smith. He looks around. He sees people with owl dolls. He notices mustard jars. His eyes widen and his face starts to go white~
Hood: Oh no.
Smith: Oh yes...ALICE KNIGHT IS NEXT!
Alice Knight (1-0) vs. Gilbert (0-0)
~A loud HOOT sounds. Nobody can tell from WHENCE IT CAME. But it was certainly loud and it was certainly proud. And, as soon as the mysterious HOOT sounds out...we get a large CLAP of thunder as some clouds roll through. They threaten but do not act. Whew. While Gilbert might have enjoyed a wet wrestling match against Alice, I doubt the OCW Hall of Famer would have extracted much enjoyment from such an affair. Speaking of which...THERE’S GILBERT. He’s stumbling his way to the ring, holding his head with one hand and a plush Alice Knight Owl doll in the other~
Belvedere: Umm. Sir. I haven’t started announcing yet.
~Gilbert is too awkward and unaware to care. He continues walking to the ring. Belvedere does a HEAVY eye roll~
Belvedere: Fine. Gilbert, ladies and gentlemen.
~Glibert rolls into the ring and nods at Belvedere. We get a good look at his doll...it’s like some kind of warped creation with Alice’s head sewn onto the body of a plush owlie doll. OKAY. Anyway, Belvedere goes about his task~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The HOOTING begins! Fans hunch over and begin flapping their wings. It’s like the funky chicken only WAY COOLER. We’ll call it the ornery owl!!! The fans march and flap march and flap march and flap. “New” by No Doubt hits and Alice Knight emerges from Bedrock City!! HOOT!!!!! Alice stands at the base of the entrance and looks around...she’s got a smile on her face and her eyes are wide as they slowly move side to side, taking in the fans~
Smith: AND THERE SHE IS
Hood: Look at those eyes, Smith. She’s lost it...not that there was much to lose to begin with. BUT STILL
Smith: She’s merely soaking in the adoration! WHAT A MOMENT
~The fans stop marching around and they turn toward Alice. They flap their wings and hoot. They hoot and hoot and hoot. Finally, Alice puts her arms into position and she gives a WING FLAP!!! THE PLACE GOES WILD!! HOOT! HOOT! She marches to the ring. Gilbert, from inside the ring, screams out, “I LOVE YOU MY DEAR ALICE!!” But his voice is drowned out from the hysteria~
Smith: Oh I just can’t help myself.
Hood: SIT DOWN
Smith: HOOT
Hood: Geezus malone
~Alice marches up the steps and enters into the ring. Gilbert stands in his corner, star struck. His mouth is open, some droll leaking out of the side. He can’t believe it. SHE’S RIGHT THERE. Alice walks up to Belvedere and throws her hand in the air...Belvedere tries to remain serious but he eventually breaks, “OH I COULD NEVER SAY NO TO YOU, ALICE” and he gives her a high five. THE ENTIRE PLACE LETS OUT A VICIOUS HOOT~
Belvedere: From Bethel, New York...standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs...she is a former OCW Champion...she’s in the OCW Hall of Fame...she is...ALICE KNIGHT!!!
~“OWL! IS! NIGHT! OWL! IS! NIGHT!” the chant goes and goes. Alice claps her hands, urging the fans on. As the chant gets louder and prouder, the wind begins to pick up, blowing Alice’s hair all around. She looks around, curiously~
Smith: Even nature is dancing to the tune of Alice Knight!
Hood: Or maybe her presence is summoning demons.
Smith: Never! She’s a beacon of light illuminating a world of darkness.
Hood: You trying to give Gilbert a run for his money or something? Chill the fuck out, man.
~The chants die out. The wind dies down. Belvedere exits, but not before wishing Alice good luck. Scruff is in the ring. Alice slips him a cracker with some mustard on top...some OWL THIS MUSTARD. He blushes and takes a bite. It’s a rather tough one and a few pieces of his tooth break off and fall to the ground. But, he swallows it down and rubs his tummy saying “MmmMMM delicious.”~
Smith: Owl This Mustard, folks! The best mustard ever made! You can purchase it online at the OCW website or at any local truck stop nearest you!
Hood: In a few months people are going to look back at this night...the night the great mustard pandemic begin. That shit is a plague.
Smith: I used to loathe mustard. Now? I put it on everything.
Hood: Man, I read some house was condemned because her mustard was found growing INSIDE the walls. INSIDE THE WALLS, Smith.
Smith: That sounds like a complete fabrication to me.
~Alice finally focuses on Gilbert. He approaches and extends his Alice/Owlie doll, offering as a gift. Alice looks at it, sort of frowning. She takes it from Gilbert and recognizes the eagerness in his eyes. She tries to force a smile saying, “Uh, thanks.” She then throws it over her shoulder. It hits the turnbuckles and crashes to the canvas. The fans laugh. Gilbert laughs, too, nervously...and with a hint of embarrassment~
Smith: Alice’s kindness continues to amaze. She didn’t have to take that doll from the obsessed fan, Hood. But, she did.
Hood: She just threw it over her shoulder like it was a piece of trash!
Smith: She’s a very busy woman.
Hood: The fuck does that have to do with it?!
~Gilbert steps forward. But Alice stops him, holding out her hand and five fingers. She yells out, “Let’s get a few things straight.” She pulls a finger down, “FIRST...no Boob Grabbage.” She illustrates how one might cop a feel. Gilbert’s eyes get super wide at the demonstration. She pulls a second finger down, “SECOND. No Ass Grabbing!” She then displays how one might grope a woman’s ass mid-match. Gilbert stares at her ass and swallows hard~
Smith: Good for Alice in setting things straight. It’s 2022, Hood. You can’t be too careful these days.
Hood: She’s going to give Gilbert a fuckin stroke or heart attack or both if she keeps throwing her tits and ass at him.
Smith: I’m sure Gilbert’s health was thoroughly vetted before being signed.
Hood: Knife Man told me they couldn’t complete his physical. They wanted him to piss in a cup but he was too ‘pee shy’ to do it. Stood in the bathroom for like 3 hours before Knife Man was like, ‘fuck it, just go wrestle’.
~Alice yells out, “THIRD!” She stops to think about a third. The mat shakes. She looks down and Gilbert is on his back. He looks up at Alice and says, “Pin me, queen. Pin me.” Alice is like, ‘Uhh.’ She looks at the fans...they yell, “PIN HIM BUT NOT WITH TOO MUCH BODY CONTACT.”~
Smith: Gilbert is sacrificing himself so that Alice Knight can win! A true knight in shining, white armor!
Hood: What a pussy. At least get laid if you’re gonna give something up for a woman. This is so fuckin pathetic.
Smith: I have to say, I agree with Gilbert’s motive here.
Hood: Of course you fuckin do. You’re worse than he is when it comes to that vile woman...only difference is you aren’t jacking off to her five times a day.
Smith: Hood! There’s no reason to be so vulgar!
~Alice decides to take the win. She drops to her knees and pins Gilbert. Scruff slides in which feels way too dramatic given the situation~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...ALICE KNIGHT!!!!!
Smith: She did it!! She wins again!
Hood: Great, now people are just GIVING her wins. Which means I’m about to GIVE UP
Smith: Ahaha you know you love it!
Hood: I’ll fuckin stab you
~Gilbert wraps his arms around Alice, getting a super aggressive hug in. Alice tries to get up, but struggles. She finally puts some pressure on Gilbert’s injured head. He yelps and lets go. She gets to her feet and brushes herself off. Gilbert rolls over, holding his head and probably hiding a boner. Alice composes and turns around, throwing her arms in the air for her fans. They chant, in unison, ‘OWL IS NIGHT! OWL IS NIGHT!’ As they do, the Owl doll Gilbert handed Alice begins to shake~
Smith: Listen to these fans! They love her!
Hood: She’s the biggest sham since SHAMWOW. And that had the word SHAM in it.
Smith: Stop acting like you hate her. I’ve seen Alisa. There’s some deep rooted emotions you’ve got brewing...admit it.
Hood: I think I’ve been pretty fuckin forthright and open about my feelings for Alice. I HATE HER
~Alice turns to exit. The fans continue to chant OWL IS NIGHT. The doll shakes its way near her. She steps on it...as she does, her foot slips into...something. It’s like a portal! It disappears. She looks down, totally confused. The fans gasp. They stop chanting. Instantly, Alice pulls her foot out and the doll ceases it’s shaking. Everyone goes quiet and still for a moment~
Smith: What the…
Hood: I told you she’s evil!
Smith: Did a portal just open?
Hood: She’s behind all of this! I KNEW IT
Smith: No she’s not! If anything she’s an innocent victim in all this owl nonsense.
Hood: There’s not ONE THING innocent about that woman. Trust me.
~Alice bends over and stares at the Owl body with her head sloppily sewn atop. She narrows her eyes before snatching it and exiting the ring. Gilbert remains inside, laying front first on the mat, his hands covering his crotch. Scruff bends over to see how he’s doing and he replies, “I’m okay, just give me a few minutes.” Scruff backs away~
Smith: Alice Knight with another impressive victory! She looks like she’s ready for THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS
Hood: The fuck is she gonna do with that haunted voodoo owl doll? You think Zybala might want it?
Smith: He might. Unfortunately, it seems her popularity and association with owls has made her somewhat of an accessory in all this tomfoolery.
Hood: Please, please, please have her accidentally fall into another timeline or dimension or whatever. PLEASE
Smith: Stay safe, Alice. These are some uncertain times in OCWland.
~We cut to the deserted area in Death Valley. The area secured by OCW for this Sunday’s Pyramid Scheme Match. Jones stands by with dust blowing around behind him~
Jones: Hello fans, Jones here! And, I’m on site where THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS is being built. I had hoped to give you all a look at the grand spectacle that was started by Poblano and finished thanks to the financial contributions of the Straders but...it appears as though Mother Nature is preventing that from happening.
~It’s pretty much a sandstorm behind him. We can’t see anything~
Jones: But, rest assured, The Great Illuminatus resides just beyond that sandstorm. It’s all but complete. Fifteen wrestlers will enter with one leaving as the OCW Champion. This match is the first ever of its kind and is sure to redefine what the term ‘spectacle’ means in pro wrestling.
~The wind dies for a little and we can make out a faint outline of a massive pyramid behind him. The wind picks back up, vanishing it from sight~
Jones: We are six days away from what will go down as the greatest match in OCW history. I look forward to seeing you all there! Next Sunday, at Carpe Noctem...we’ll find out who will Seize the Night!
~We cut to commercial~
OCW Presents: Carpe Noctem
LIVE! This Sunday!
From THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS
IN Death Valley, California
~We return to Massacre. Hood is busy working with his phone. Smith leans over to get a word in with him~
Smith: And, Hood...it appears one of your favorite teams is about to return to the ring.
Hood: Hold on. I’ve got to get this bet in before the odds change.
Smith: GAMBLING
Hood: Of course. That Carpe Noctem commercial reminded me that I need to load up and take the Strader girls at 10-1.
Smith: Hmm. Interesting.
Hood: Don’t condescend me. This is a great bet.
Smith: I’m not condescending. I’m just surprised. Why are you wagering all that money on them?
Hood: Because they financed the fucking thing! Weren’t you listening? There’s no way they’d dump millions into that structure without certain guarantees.
Smith: They’d never, Hood. They are competitors! Warriors!
Hood: Pssh. Yea right.
Smith: So...are you going to bet on Zybala, then? He’s our owner.
Hood: LOL!
Smith: Well, I hope he wins and you lose your bet. GO MIKE
Hood: Bet is...PLACED. Alright, now I can take Alisa to one of those super expensive island vacations she’s always talking about. Fuck man, dating a hot bitch is tough.
Smith: Moving on...back to my original point. The Lockwood Party...are you excited?
Hood: Dude, I’m ALWAYS excited for these two. The OCW Tag Division is so awesome right now. SO AWESOME.
Smith: The Lockwood Party returns to the ring...next!
The Lockwood Party (0-0) vs. Tornado Alley (0-1)
~A loud clap of thunder FIRES OFF from the sky. The fans jump and huddle together. IS THIS THE END OF ALL THE TIMES? Nope, turns out it was just a brand new, nifty beginning to the intro for TORNADO ALLEY. Vortex leads the way, spinning around with his arms extended while Debris drops trash from his pockets~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~“Respect the Wind” plays and, to be fair, it’s a pretty amazing song. I mean, just give it a listen. DO IT. Debris drops bags of chips, Slim Jim wrappings, and bottles of soda...it’s pretty clear he’s just using the entrance as an opportunity to dispose of all the trash they accrued on their road trip from Vegas to Arizona. They reach the ring and continue their act inside the ropes with Scruff following and kicking the trash outside~
Belvedere: From The Nearest Tornado...please welcome Vortex and Debris...Tornado Alley!!!
Smith: Tornado Alley back for a second consecutive week.
Hood: The Jobber life is tough for these two. Back to back beatings.
Smith: Hey, they could surprise.
Hood: You can’t even say that with a straight face.
Smith: You’re right. I can’t.
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~"PUNCH IN THE FACE" BY FRENZAL RHOMB hits! The fans stand and watch, awaiting the arrival of one of the most notorious teams in OCW history...The Lockwood Party. And, they don’t disappoint. Tim and Jack emerge from Bedrock City and march their way to the ring with the swagger they’ve carried since day one~
Belvedere: From The East Bay, California...Tim and Jack...The Lockwood Party!!!
~Tim and Jack hop onto the apron and pop to their feet, staring over the ropes at Vortex and Debris. Belvedere exits, leaving Scruff in the ring. Debris reaches into his pocket...there’s no more trash. So, he taps Vortex on the shoulder. Vortex turns around, sees the empty pockets and nods, ceasing his spinning. The Lockwoods enter the ring~
Smith: Happy to see Vortex and Debris are keeping their car clean.
Hood: Well, when you LIVE out of your car, it’s a good idea to throw the fuckin trash out from time to time. Not everyone likes to live in filth...ala Alice Knight.
Smith: She doesn’t live in FILTH
~Tim enters the ring for the Lockwoods. Vortex, as always, starts things for Tornado Alley. The bell sounds. Vortex spins around toward Tim. Tim reaches out and catches one of his arms, ceasing the rotation. Vortex throws a kick at Tim’s leg, but Tim blocks it, shoves Vortex around, spinning him 360 degrees...when he comes back around Tim clocks him with a straight right hand, dropping Vortex to the mat~
Smith: These Lockwoods aren’t technical masters and they won’t wow you with their aerial acrobatics.
Hood: Wow, you’re just gonna shit all over them, in their return match?
Smith: What I’m getting at, Hood. If you’d let me finish is that these guys are brawlers. They are fighters.
Hood: So a couple of Tyler Durdens?
Smith: Minus the whole not reall existing thing.
Hood: Whoa. SPOILER ALERT
~Debris yells from the apron, “C’MON, VORTEX! YOU CAN DO IT!” Tim marches Debris’ way and throws a straight right hand, clocking Debris on the chin and knocking him from the apron, to the floor. He then surveys the scene and sighs, hands on his hips. He looks at Jack and Jack nods, extending his hand~
Smith: I think Tim might be a little disappointed over how easy this all was.
Hood: Yea, these Lockwoods love to fight and, well, this wasn’t much of one.
Smith: Nope.
~Tim tags Jack into the ring. He then grabs Vortex and pulls him to his feet. Jack gets into position. Tim lifts Vortex up and Jack runs forward, leaping into the air, grabbing the head of Vortex on his way down and hitting Farewell Lola Blue (3D)!!!! Vortex flips over, on his back. Jack makes the cover. Tim stands over him, watching. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...THE LOCKWOOD PARTY!!!!!
Smith: Short work for the Lockwoods.
Hood: They look good, Smith. But, then again, I’ve always been a big fan of these guys.
Smith: We saw The Danger Boiz finally break through and win the OCW Tag Titles at Access Denied. Could that indicate that we’ll see The Lockwoods do the same?
Hood: I honestly don’t know what one has to do with the other...but, sure. I’m down for a Lockwood title reign.
Smith: The Lockwoods looking as strong as ever in their return! We’ll see where they go from here!
~We cut backstage to where Jonathan Dravers is just getting off the phone with somebody~
Nathan: So? Are we finally kicking this shit into high gear?
Jonathan: Yup. That's what he says. After Carpe Noctem, he says the plan is going to come together.
Nathan: HAHA! great. This is gonna be awesome.
~The twins turn to face the camera. An evil smirk brushes over each face~
Jonathan: We are SURE all of you sheep out there want to know what we're talking about.
Nathan: Well... I guess we could tell all of the viewers at home?
Jonathan: We COULD do that, Nathan.... orrrrrrrrrrrrrrr we could do this.
~The twins then lay out the cameraman with a SEEING DOUBLE~
Nathan: Yeah. I like that one better.
~We cut to commercial~
~ Over at the Rubbles’ house in Bedrock City Veronica Strader is checking things out when Outcast walks up behind her. He places his left hand on the back of her right shoulder. She turns a little annoyed someone is touching her but that look washes away when she sees it is the OCW Champion, Outcast. ~
Hood: My man, robbing the cradle.
Smith: Not sure how I feel about all of that, Hood.
Hood: Hey, he’s just the Wooderson of OCW. She can legally drink in all fifty states. It’s fine.
Veronica: Outcast, how are you?
Outcast: Better now darlin’. Checking out the sights?
Veronica: Yeah, I can’t believe this place actually exists and people come to visit. Victoria’s mom and aunt have been here since Thursday and are bowling, which I don’t even understand how that works.
Outcast: Classic OCW, baby! Don’t question it, will give you a headache.
~ Veronica goes to respond but she hears something. ~
Smith: Hood, do you hear that?
Hood: You being an annoying bitch boy?
Smith: No you ass and it’s annoying HOOT boy to you!
~ Veronica and Outcast look, and her eyes go wide as a drone wearing a Rorshach mask and a little brown hat is hovering above. ~
Veronica: Is that a drone made to look like TLS?
Outcast: I think so. But what’s it carrying?
~ It’s a basket, that’s what it’s carrying, Outcast. The basket flips upside down and fifty or so Troll Dolls fall from it pinging off Veronica’s head and Outcast’s shoulders. ~
Hood: Hahaha, ah man, I love The Lost Stranger.
Smith: It looks like he made those troll dolls like Veronica. They even have little TA straps around their waists!
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
~ Veronica bends down and picks one up as the drone flies off. She looks at it and chuckles. ~
Veronica: Cute, TLS. I’m gonna keep a few.
OCW Caterer: WATCH OUT!
~ Before Veronica can do anything, an OCW employee trips on the scattered dolls and Vee is now covered in a sauce. She doesn’t look impressed. Outcast looks at her with concern. ~
Outcast: Damn, darlin’. You ok?
~ Veronica wipes some of it from her eyes. ~
Veronica: Never better. If you’ll excuse me I am going to borrow the shower in the CFH Coach bus and murder a Stranger.
~ Veronica turns and walks away as Who’re walks up. ~
Who’re: What happened to her?
~ Outcast hands her a troll doll, and makes his exit. ~
Who’re: Oh how cute! I’m keeping one.
~ And we go back to the ring. ~
The Dravers Twins (0-1) vs. The VIAGRA Boys (0-0)
~The late afternoon continues to rapidly dissipate into evening. The fans remain troopers, drinking their Flintstone themed beverages while cheering for all the wacky and wild OCW action. Belvedere is in the ring, clearing them pipes. Ready for the next in-ring altercation~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~“ALL NIGHT LONG” by Lionel Richie starts to play. A few of the women blush and rub their necks as THE VIAGRA BOYS make their way to the ring. We can’t help but focus on their crotch...and, well, it seems as though not much is going on – YET. They dance to the music, shouting out ‘ALL NIGHT LONG’ whenever the familiar refrain hits. Soon, the fans join in~
Belvedere: Please welcome the team known ‘seductively’ as...THE VIAGRA BOYS!!!
~The VIAGRA boys reach the ring. They shake their hips and saunter toward some women near ringside. They reach into their pants and remove tiny blue pills. The fans go wild...because, I guess that’s what they’d do in this situation~
Smith: The VIAGRA Boys
Hood: Looks like they’re about to firm things up before the bell rings.
Smith: I wonder how safe it is...taking that before a match.
Hood: Can’t be any less safe than Iggy snorting a bowl of coke.
Smith: True
~The VIAGRA Boys lean over the railing, shaking their shoulders and putting their arms over the female fans most taken by their schtick. They then hold the blue pills high in the air before dropping them in their mouths and swallowing. The women swoon~
Smith: Well, okay then.
Hood: Smith, if I ever step into the ring to, ya know, wrestle...make sure it isn’t against those two.
~The VIAGRA Boys back up and face the crowd, pointing at their crotches, wiggling their eyebrows...getting the fans riled up. They put their arms around each other and begin thrusting their hips...however, before this goes any further they are BLASTED from behind by chair shots from THE DRAVERS!! The fans BOOO!! Especially those ladies in the front row~
Smith: The Dravers just interrupted what was apparently setting up to be an all nighter.
Hood: I know these guys are evil and whatnot but, to me, they are heroes.
Smith: I can’t say anything nice to anybody who would betray my dear Alice.
Hood: My dear Alice sounds like a really shitty sitcom starring Jenna Elfman
~The fans continue to boo as Nathan and Jonathan wail away on the VIAGRA Boys with chair shot after chair shot after chair shot. Finally, someone yells “STOP IT, THEY’RE ALREADY DEAD!!” Jonathan throws the chair into the crowd at the direction of the voice. The fans scatter.~
Smith: These fans are going to learn very quickly that the Dravers are different. They aren’t the fun, lovable...tolerant team of previous runs.
Hood: I’m buying stock in the Dravers right now. Already loaded up after they kicked Alice in the face...man that was so great.
Smith: Calm down, Hood.
Hood: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN
~Nathan grabs one of the VIAGRA Boys by the back of his neck and slings him into the ring. He rolls under the bottom rope. Nathan slides in. He looks at Scruff. Scruff looks back. Nathan charges at OCW’s beloved ref and grabs him by the neck, screaming “RING THE BELL!” Scruff, too scared to say no, does as commanded and the bell rings. Nathan shoves Scruff away and motions for Jonathan to slide in~
Smith: They’ve turned into bullies, Hood!
Hood: Yea, well, dying your hair for years might impact the brain.
Smith: You really think hair dye is the catalyst behind this sudden change in behavior?
Hood: No. It’s obviously all that time they spent around Alice. Everybody breaks around her at some point.
~Nathan sets the VIAGRA boy up. The Dravers measure him and then they rush forward with SEEING DOUBLE (dual superkick). The VIAGRA boy flips backwards, over his head, landing front first on the mat. The fans gasp...horrified over what they’re witnessing. Nathan drags the VIAGRA boy into the center of the ring and makes a sloppy pin. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...THE DRAVERS TWINS!!!!!
Smith: Well, so much for that.
Hood: Why are you sounding like such a bitch right now? That was AWESOME
Smith: They didn’t even give those Viagra Boys a chance, Hood.
Hood: Trust me, those VIAGRA boys didn’t NEED a chance.
~Nathan and Jonathan stomp on the defeated VIAGRA Boy until OCW security threatens to hit the ring. At that point, the Dravers laugh and throw their hands up in a very sarcastic manner before exiting the ring and taunting the fans on their way out. They even give a few faux ‘wing flaps’ mocking the great Alice Knight. The boos pour down as they head into Bedrock City and wherever their backstage accommodations exist~
Smith: So unfortunate. Like when a good loaf of bread gets a spot of mold.
Hood: Did you seriously just compare the two time tag champions to BREAD
Smith: Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best metaphor.
~The medics tend to the VIAGRA boys...they all stop. We zoom in on each one to find a giant bulge rising in their wrestling trunks. We quickly cut to Smith and Hood~
Smith: The power of the pill.
Hood: That’s modern medicine for ya.
Smith: The Dravers notch their first win of the new year with this new, loathsome attitude.
Hood: Mark my words...MARK THEM...The Dravers will be tag champions once again. This new attitude is EXACTLY what they need.
~We cut to Smith and Hood at the announcers table~
Smith: What a showing from the Dravers. These boys are…………..something.
Hood: What are you talking about? They’re the best tag team on the planet.
Smith: Yes, well, anyhow we have been sent in a video package from our OCW Craze Champion, PerZag, who was unable to attend the show tonight.
Hood: It’s a shame we couldn’t see him in person, but at least we get a dose of Worthiness tonight.
Smith: Alright, let’s play the tape.
~We go to a black screen as a voiceover begins, you know one of those voiceovers with the really deep voices. Like James Earl Jones. Anyhow, it begins~
~The word ‘WORTHY’ flies past on the black screen in every direction it can. The blue coloured letters appearing every few seconds~
~The six letters start flying past the screen faster and faster until it is going so fast it is unreadable~
~The blackness explodes into white as the face of PerZag appears on the screen, smiling towards the camera~
PerZag: Hello, my name is PerZag and you all may know me as The Worthiest of Them All. Or The Sexiest Man In Wrestling; or The 70 Minute Man. Or even your most recent inductee into the OCW Hall of Fame. But, you see, I didn’t get all of this for nothing. I’m the Worthiest, the Sexiest and the 70 Minute Man because I work hard. Especially when it comes to pulling off 70 minutes in the bedroom.
~PerZag winks to the camera as it zooms out showing him standing in front of a white screen (well a green screen that has been turned to white thanks to the wonders of technology).~
PerZag: For those of you wondering, this is not one of those videos to teach you how to be a better lover to your partner. Only the best can do what I do in those circumstances. No, this video is for all of you sitting at home or at work or wherever you might be, and I’m asking you all. Are you the best at what you do? Are you at the top of your game? Just think about it for a few seconds.
~PerZag pauses for a moment as a four second time appears next to him. It counts down to zero and he resumes speaking~
PerZag: If the answer is no, then keep watching this video. Being WORTHY is an entity in itself. It’s not something you choose to be, it is just something you are. I can teach those of you that are full of PURE WORTH how to become WORTHY. How to be like me. But it’s a rough path to be on, and as I said, being WORTHY and wanting to be are different things. I am The Worthiest of Them All because I was chosen by a WORTHIER power.
~PerZag puts his arms out to the side and stares above him as the screen starts glowing brighter~
PerZag: Come and join THE WORTHY MOVEMENT. Come and join me……………………..PROVE YOUR WORTH……………………… and become WORTHY!
~The screen starts to dim down to its original brightness as PerZag puts his arms and his head down, staring back towards the screen. A phone number appears on the screen above him~
PerZag: To those of you who wish to be the best. To be the WORTHIEST. You must pass the first test to gain entry. You must prove that you are full of PURE WORTH. So if you wish to PROVE YOUR WORTH then dial the number on the screen and send your one hundred dollar non-refundable deposit. And remember if you want to be the best, you want to be the WORTHIEST.
~PerZag disappears from screen as the screen goes to black with the word ‘WORTHY’ written in the centre of it. A loud whisper says ‘PROVE YOUR WORTH’ as the footage completely turns off~
Check Out PerZag's Carpe Noctem Promo
'PROVE OUR WORTH'
~We return to Massacre. Hood finishes watching PerZag’s promo~
Hood: Hey, Smith.
Smith: Yes, friend?
Hood: Don’t call me that, not in public.
Smith: Sorry. Yes, Hood?
Hood: Can you loan me a few hundred bucks?
Smith: Excuse me?! WHY?
Hood: I just watched the ZAG’s promo and I think he might win on Sunday. At least, I wanna put some money on him.
Smith: While I agree he’s got a great shot...I...I just don’t feel safe lending you that kind of money for gambling.
Hood: FUCK YOU
Smith: Okay, I think you might need to see someone about this.
Hood: Yea, I’ll see you...IN THE HOSPITAL IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME SOME MONEY
Smith: Calm down, sheesh. Otherwise you might end up like our next competitor...Chetty Moletty.
Hood: Are you calling me a perv?
Smith: Uh, no. I’m basically saying if you don’t relax and you keep betting money then gambling sharks may get you and beat you up.
Hood: What happened? Did Chetty get beat up no closer than fifty yards from a school?
Smith: No. I’m just predicting what’s likely to happen. He’s facing BRIM and it’s next.
BRIM (c) (9-4) vs. Chetty Moletty (0-0)
~The sun has late...indicating that, yes, we’ve reached the latter portion of tonight’s programming. Belvedere stands in the ring, as eager as ever to call the action. Even in Bedrock City this man remains as pure and professional as ever~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~There is no song because, honestly, I can’t really think of one to play. So, Chetty Moletty just sorta creeps his way down to the ring. He’s disgusting and weird and pervy so let’s just skip all the detail and put this fucker in the ring~
Belvedere: From...a local penitentiary...soon (hopefully)...Chetty Moletty!
Smith: Chetty Moletty
Hood: Gross
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“Killjill” by Big Boi ft. Killer Mike and Young Jeezy hits. The fans look and watch as arguably the most menacing, intimidating wrestler in OCW makes his way to the ring...it’s BRIM. He’s got the newly fashioned Savage Belt over his shoulder. His scowl informs every onlooker to not approach the man. He’s pissed at the world. He reaches the ring and walks up the steps, staring across the ring at Chetty. He shakes his head as if to say, “what a joke.” He enters~
Belvedere: From Baltimore, Maryland...standing 6’3 and weighing in at 385lbs...he is the OCW Savage Champion...he is...BRIM!!!
~Belvedere exits. Scruff remains. He tries to take the title from BRIM but BRIM just stares down at OCW’s senior referee. Scruff looks over at Chetty, who is scratching his ass and sniffing his fingers afterward. He decides to let BRIM keep the belt. Scruff then calls for the bell, it sounds~
Smith: Can we just fire Chetty?
Hood: Yea, I mean who authorized putting this guy in the ring?
Smith: Did we do a background check on him?
Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY
~BRIM sees Chetty licking his fingers and he’s had enough. He storms forward full steam ahead, showing tremendous speed and quickness. He leaps into the air and he CRUSHES Chetty in the corner with a splash. He snatches Moletty and hoists him over his back. The title still draped over his shoulder. He drops Chetty on his head with CRACKIN NECKS!!! Chetty’s body goes limp. The title is on the mat. BRIM makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...the OCW Savage Champion...BRIM!!!!!
Smith: BRIM doing us all a favor. Ending this quick.
Hood: Yea, let’s get Chetty the fuck outta here.
Smith: BRIM and Supreme Machine are on a collision course, Hood. And it seems as though that collision will take place at Luck of the Violent in Dublin.
Hood: That news has my penis doublin!
Smith: Ugh.
~We cut to one of the homes in Bedrock City. B.A.L.D. is celebrating his huge victory over LOBSTER MOBSTER. He’s to the OOC Title over his shoulder which, for some reason didn’t appear during his match (CLASSIC OCW, BABY). BALD is BEAUTIFUL seems to be the mood inside this rock hard establishment~
Fan: You were awesome out there, BALD
Fan 2: Yea, BRUH. You’re gonna totally win that Pyramid Scheme Match. By the way, any idea how I can invest in that shit?
~BALD appears quite ready to divulge some investment information when a door swings open and a man says “Hey, cue ball.” The glass in BALD’s hand shatters from his angered grip. He spins around to greet the man, but he’s too late. The man smacks BALD in the head with a right fist. He then rips the OOC Title from him~
Fan: AHHH
Fan 2: WE NEED HELP IN HERE! THE BALD GUY IS GETTING ATTACKED
~We get a shot of the man attacking BALD and we see that it’s Vincenzo!!! Vincenzo BLASTS BALD In the head with the OOC Title. BALD falls to the ground and Vincenzo makes the cover. OCW’s third ref, PUFF rushes in and makes the count. He counts to three and awards Vincenzo the OOC Title~
Fan: What in jurassic park just happened?
Fan 2: I don’t have a clue.
~Vincenzo takes the OOC Title and rushes out with Puff following. BALD is left lying on the ground, groaning and wincing in pain. We cut to commercial~
View OCW Champion Outcast's Carpe Noctem Promo
"Omnes Laudate Regem. Vivat Rex"
~We return to Massacre. Hood looks at Smith~
Hood: Why did that dude attack B.A.L.D.?
Smith: I think it’s about that OOC Title, Hood. 24/7 rules or something.
Hood: Is that really a title you want? A title that makes you nervous 24/7? Always looking over your shoulder? Perpetually worried you might get your ass kicked?
Smith: I wouldn’t know.
Hood: Should ask fugitives how awesome it is running from people their entire lives.
Smith: You know who’s being hunted?
Hood: No idea.
Smith: BRIM. He’s being hunted by Supreme Machine. Ever since SuMa returned, he’s had his eye on BRIM and the Savage Championship. In SuMa’s mind, there’s only one Savage Champion...himself. In the mind of OCW, there are two. This is an issue that’s going to have to get rectified sooner rather than later.
Hood: And I can’t wait for that to happen.
Smith: We already saw what BRIM can do...now, let’s head to the ring as Supreme Machine is back in action!
Supreme Machine (c) (5-0) vs. Desmond Savage (0-0)
~ The fearsome drum intro starts for "Zetite" by Illnath, grabbing everyone's attention as a terrifying image of Supreme Machine's face glares down from the Tron. The entire arena then plunges into darkness, earning some screams of fright from the crowd after what they just saw.~
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~ As the fast-paced vocals begin, tunnels of flame begin erupting around the stage. They go off at different points in regular intervals, following the beat of the song and exploding upwards with a torrent of heat and fire. As the music increases in volume, every single funnel explodes at once, creating a huge fireball about the entrance are in Bedrock City. When the flames drop, Supreme Machine is standing there. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first...
~ He has positioned himself at the top of the makeshift entrance way, standing with his head bowed. His arms are tightly crossed around his chest. Supreme Machine then whips his head upwards and brings up a crucifix pose, with his gaze locking onto the ring battlefield that awaits him. ~
Belvedere: Hailing from his sister’s basement weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds...
~ After a few moments have passed, with the crowd at peak anticipation/anxiety, Supreme Machine begins a slow measured walk down the aisle, looking ready to destroy any fan who dares reach in his direction. This is not a man you want to high five.~
Belvedere: He is the OCW SAVAGE CHAMPION.... THE SUPREME MACHINE!
~ He steps over the top rope, making his way to the center of the ring. Showing no willingness to give up any of the territory around him, he stands, waiting for the bell to sound. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent...
~ “It’s Raining Men” by Geri Halliwell begins to play loudly and a whole ass section dressed like the Flintstones people are dancing and shaking their prehistoric asses to Geri’s cover. ~
Belvedere: Weighing in at it doesn’t matter and hailing from who really cares...
~ DESMOND SAVAGE comes out pelvic dancing like a male fitness model would. SuMa doesn’t look impressed. ~
Belvedere: DESMOND SAVAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Smith: Well, this shouldn’t be too difficult for Supreme Machine.
Hood: Nothing is too difficult for Supreme Machine. I can’t wait till him and BRIM clash! Knock the planet right off of its axis!
~ DING DING DING ~
~ Supreme Machine stands still and tilts his head to the right ever so slightly as Desmond thinks he is the Great Mohammed Ali dancing like a butterfly. Desmond goes in towards SuMa but the SAVAGE champion just thrusts his shoulders forward and Desmond falls backwards on his ass getting a laugh from the crowd. ~
Smith: All of them laughing would probably have the same reaction.
Hood: Still funny.
~ Desmond gets back to his feet and runs at the Machine again and SuMa catches him by the neck and holds him up high before tossing him like a ragdoll in the corner turnbuckle. The fans pop as the giant stalks the former bodybuilding fitness model. ~
Smith: That had to hurt.
Hood: Damn right it did, this match is already over.
~ SuMa picks up Savage and lands the INFERNO DRIVER! The fans are on their feet cheering on the big man. ~
FANS: SU-MA! SU-MA! SU-MA!
~ Supreme Machine puts Desmond into a modified surfboard stretch nailing a massive curb stomp for the DEUS X MACHINAE!!!!! He kicks Desmond and places a foot on his chest. Scruff drops to make the count. ~
1!
2!!
3!!!
~ DING DING DING ~
Belvedere: And your winner via pinfall... THE OCW SAVAGE CHAMPION... SUPREME MACHINE!
Hood: Well, Desmond will be getting real familiar with crayons and coloring books.
Smith: Another quick savage win for the Savage Champion!
Hood: Lazy pun, Smith.
~As we gear up towards our main event, we see Kelson Hewitt standing with his back against the wall backstage, looking up to the ceiling with a determined look. He's dressed up, ready to do battle, tightening his fists around the hem of his jacket~
Kelson Hewitt: Here we are. Moments from now, the main event between an undefeated champion, and a prospect who shocked the world, is about to take place.
~Kelson's head goes to the side, looking at the camera~
Kelson Hewitt: As you walk into that ring tonight Strader, I want you to remember one thing, I want you to remember, that you will not break me. You think you're all that, because you have a hell of a winning streak with a title around your waist, but that doesn't intimidate me. That doesn't make me fear you. It motivates me to do my absolute best to dethrone your hot streak. You walk into this match with the security of knowing you keep your title, win or lose, but I walk into this with so much to prove. I can hang with the vets, but now, I have to prove I can hang with the new generation. My generation, that is going to led us into the future for the next 10, maybe 20 years.
~Kelson brings himself off of the wall, letting go of his jacket~
Kelson Hewitt: Tonight, I prove to the world that last week wasn't a fluke by beating the TransAtlantic Champ in the middle of that ring. I'll give it my all, just like I did last week, so keep your title close, keep your guard up, because you're in for a bumpy night.
~Kelson walks forward, into the camera, with it turning black, to transition into the next segment, letting everyone know that tonight, is his night~
Check Out Mike Zybala's Carpe Noctem Promo
"Raiders of The Great Illuminatus"
~ Outside of the Cowgirls From Hell Coach bus stands a freshly showered Veronica Strader in her signature ring gear, Trans Atlantic Championship around her waist, and Who’re stands beside her microphone in hand. ~
Who’re: We are coming up on the main event of the evening and I am here with one of my personal favourites, as I am biased because I signed this lady to her OCW contract, and just like the OCW faithful, I am curious to what you have to say to Kelson Hewitt about his words last week.
~ Veronica gives a sigh with a chuckle. ~
Veronica: He said he doesn’t have respect for me because I was talking about not having, then continued to man-splain to me how this business works. The jerk off didn’t bother to do any research, if he had, he would know it’s a running gag within the Strader family. I don’t care if my peers respect me, and I appreciate the love I get from the OCW Faithful. It’s what we call our fans, just another thing he decided to run his mouth about without checking first.
Who’re: Tonight marks your first main event match in your career in the places you competed in before, and now here in OCW. How does that feel?
~ Vee grins. ~
Veronica: It feels great, Who’re. Like I have said before, everything I do is not just for me, but for Victoria. So to answer your question, it feels fantastic. I’m not going to let the OCW faithful down, and I am not going to let Victoria down.
Who’re: We were supposed to do this earlier but a drone dressed like The Lost Stranger dropped a bucket of troll dolls fashioned to resemble you and which caused someone from catering to trip and cover you in Barbeque Sauce for the Flintstone ribs being made for the workers, talent and OCW Faithful. How do you respond to that?
Veronica: TLS has been one step ahead of me, and I won’t lie to you, Who’re, I am impressed. He still hasn’t told me or PerZag which one of us he wants.
~ Vee stops and turns to the camera. ~
Veronica: Stranger, the troll dolls were real cute. I even kept a few, but I am never going to stop looking for you. I will not let this go and one day I am gonna find you but before I do I have someone I need to teach a couple of lessons.
Who’re: Yes, you have Kelson Hewitt who had a major upset in his debut against Bob Grenier. How are you feeling heading into the main event tonight?
Veronica: I feel great, Who’re. I am always training and constantly improving from match to match. Victoria had a great base but it’s me who skyrocketed us to the top 3 in the rankings, and that’s why I am the undefeated Trans Atlantic Champion.
Who’re: Kelson spoke to you like you were a child for not understanding respect in this business, how do you even respond to that?
Veronica: Easy, he didn’t do his homework. People might not understand how the dynamic works between Victoria and me but the one thing that is the same is that we are Strader’s and the joke has always been we are the Rodney Dangerfield’s of Wrestling: We get no respect. A shame that went right over his head. Just like the fact we call our fans faithful, it’s not just me.
Who’re: Well knowing what we all know about you Vee, he will need all the help he can get tonight. I would say good luck, but I know you don’t need it.
Veronica: Thanks, Who’re. Just remember what I said to you, Hewitt. God forgives.
OCW Faithful: I DON’T!!!!
Smith: I’m looking forward to this main event, Hood!
Hood: Don’t get ahead of yourself, she’s facing the guy that beat Bob Grenier in his first match.
Smith: And don’t forget Vee has the advantage of having Victoria to help her!
Hood: Right, cause personality disorders are game changers.
Smith: I’d never underestimate the power of the mind.
Hood: We’re talking about the female brain here, Smith. It’s like half the size of a man’s brain...that’s proven...that’s fact.
Smith: I can’t even listen to you right now. Folks...we’ve heard from Kelson. We’ve heard from Veronica. The time for talk is over...our Main Event is here and it is NEXT!
Non-Title
Veronica Strader (c) (9-0) vs. Kelson Hewitt (1-0)
~It’s dark. The night air is chilled. It gets pretty cold pretty quickly in this part of the country once the sun takes it’s leave. However, these fans remain vigilant. They’ve enjoyed all sorts of wild and wacky shit this evening...but now, now it’s all led to this. The main event...a match featuring the two brightest rising stars in the company. Two names that could, very soon, headline a future PPV against one another for the OCW Title. Belvedere stands in the ring, mic in hand, as we get set to take a look into the future...a preview of what the OCW landscape might look like in the coming months~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!!! The following contest is a Non-title match and it is set for One Fall!!! Introducing first…
~"No One Like You" by Scorpions rocks the Arizona evening air. The fans in attendance grow hair down past their shoulders...hair that instantly perms out and they start to rock. It’s the 1980s all over again. OCW’s impressive newcomer Kelson Hewitt makes his way to the ring, looking more than okay after his battle with Bob Grenier one week ago. He’s got his ear taped a bit from Bob’s bite, but it’s nothing serious. The fans lean over the railing, trying to reach out and touch what could be OCW’s next superstar. Kelson obliges, happy and humbled by the support. But, he maintains his focus on the ring, reaching the apron and sliding in under the bottom rope. He pops to his feet, bouncing around, ready for action~
Belvedere: From Nashville, Tennessee...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 201lbs...Kelson Hewitt!!!
~Kelson throws his arm in the air at the sound of his name. The fans go wild. His music dies out and he leans into a corner, keeping his eye on the aisle~
Smith: Kelson Hewitt in his second consecutive Massacre Main Event. I believe he’s the first wrestler in OCW history to begin his career with two straight main event matches.
Hood: I didn’t give this dude a shred of a chance last week against Bob. But, he pulled it off.
Smith: How about this week? You think he’s got what it takes to defeat the unbeaten TransAtlantic Champion?
Hood: I’d like to say no...but after what he showed last week. Shit, man. This guy could run the gauntlet all the way to the OCW Title. No telling how good he is.
Smith: Indeed.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~Just A Girl by No Doubt hits! The fans all turn and watch as the OCW TransAtlantic Champion, Veronica Strader steps confidently from Bedrock City, heading toward the ring. Her TransAtlantic Title wrapped tightly around her waist. Her eyes are wide and bright, fixated on Kelson Hewitt. She walks alone. No help at her side tonight~
Smith: Veronica Strader deciding to wrestle this match without the support of her team.
Hood: It’s about respect, Smith. She’s got a record worthy of respect. A title worthy of respect. But something’s missing...I think she wants to prove she can defeat a wrestler of Kelson’s caliber without any help.
Smith: She did catch some heat for stabbing Dylan with a needle. And, of course, Chuck did lend a helping foot.
Hood: No needles or tiny feet tonight. It’s all on her shoulders.
~Veronica reaches the ring stares up at Kelson. Kelson returns the look, as intense as she is. Veronica marches up the steps and walks across the apron before sliding in through the ropes~
Belvedere: From Tampa, Florida...standing 5’10 and weighing in at 140lbs...she is the OCW TransAtlantic Champion...she is the undefeated Veronica Strader!!!
~Strader finds her corner, opposite of Kelson’s. Not much fanfare this evening...this is all about work. This is all about in-ring competition. Scruff approaches...Strader slowly removes her belt, keeping an eye on Kelson. She hands the title over. Scruff nods and gives the belt to Belvedere, who exits, toting the precious cargo. With Belvedere out of the ring, Veronica stands in her corner. Kelson stands in his. Scruff finds the middle of the ring and signals for the bell. It rings and the crowd cheers~
Smith: Another big fight atmosphere. I’ve got a feeling tonight’s main event will be a lot different than last week’s.
Hood: Strader’s got something to prove. She wants to out wrestle, out compete...she wants to beat Kelson Hewitt.
Smith: Seems that way. And, on the flip side, if Kelson can notch a win here tonight...regardless of what happens next Sunday, we will definitely see him in a title match at Luck of the Violent.
Hood: I’d imagine whoever TLS doesn’t pick...that champion will defend against Kelson. If he wins tonight.
Smith: Indeed.
~Kelson and Veronica approach one another. They get into position and circle...each competitor looking for an advantage. Veronica studies Kelson’s movements, trying to find an opening...a weakness, sure she’ll be able to take advantage of something. Hewitt, meanwhile, does his best to keep Strader at bay, knowing one false move could lead to a swift defeat. Veronica reaches and Kelson slaps her away. She reaches and Kelson dodges. This goes on and on before both competitors stand, staring at one another, Veronica a little frustrated she’s, so far, been unable to exploit a weakness in Hewitt’s game~
Smith: Strader can’t get frustrated. Especially this early.
Hood: She’s the more seasoned wrestler...as far as I know, if she just keeps her cool she’ll find something she can use against Hewitt.
Smith: That’s the idea. Although, Hewitt could just be one of those rare cases of a natural talent without any real weakness.
~The competitors resume circling...leaning over, reaching and swiping at one another. Veronica fakes with her left. Kelson reacts. He leans in with her right and grabs Kelson’s left arm, twisting it behind his back! She smiles, her confidence refueling. Kelson, though, reaches back, grabs Strader by the head and flips her over with a snapmare!! Strader hits on her ass...she hurries to her feet and lunges at Kelson, but he takes her over with a deep armdrag and applies an armbar. Veronica sits up, frustrated, slapping the mat. The crowd claps, cheering Hewitt~
Smith: And Kelson Hewitt wins the first exchange.
Hood: Yep, that’s a point for the rookie.
Smith: Veronica was probably a little over aggressive there. Kelson was the one exhibiting the patience of an in-ring veteran. Very impressive.
~Strader fights to her feet, bringing Kelson along for the ride. She manages to bully Kelson into the ropes before whipping him across the ring. Hewitt releases the armbar and shoots across the ring. He hits the ropes and bounces off. Strader charges at him with a crossbody...but Kelson catches her!! He tosses Veronica onto his shoulders, but Veronica elbows Kelson in the neck. She slips down his back and grabs him from behind, yanking him over with a sideheadlock. But, Kelson returns the favor, shooting Strader into the ropes. Veronica hits the ropes and bounces off and is taken down with a shoulder block. She hits the ring sharply. Kelson jumps up and comes down with an elbow...but Veronica moves! Strader hovers over for a pin, but Kelson tosses her off before Scruff can make a count. He kips up. She pops back to her feet...Strader throws a superkick but Hewitt dodges the kick and grabs Veronica’s head, getting her in position for a neckbreaker. But Strader jumps up and kicks off the ropes, flipping over Kelson and landing on her feet. The two competitors stand up right with their fists ready to fly. The crowd applauds the action as they back away, taking a momentary break~
Smith: Neither competitor gaining much of an advantage early on. Which probably speaks volumes for Kelson.
Hood: The longer he hangs in there with Veronica the more he’ll start to believe he can win. And I’m not saying the dude lacks confidence...but it’s one thing to hope or think you can win. Belief, however, comes with success through experience.
Smith: Indeed. Veronica needs to gain the upper hand pretty quickly if she wants to continue to utilize the intimidation factor her name and record carried coming into this match.
Hood: Yep, they keep going 50/50 and that mystique will vanish just like viewers whenever Alice Knight appears on TV.
Smith: LIES
~The two competitors pace around the ring, keeping an eye on one another. Strader wipes some sweat from her brow, eyeing Kelson with more intensity and animosity than earlier. Kelson, however, remains every bit as composed as he was to start the match. They close in and lock up! Kelson starts to bully Veronica back, but Strader lifts a knee into Hewitt’s gut, doubling him over. She smacks him with a forearm uppercut and kicks him in the chest, sending him staggering back into a corner. The fans boo, slightly~
Smith: These fans showing that they are pro Kelson tonight.
Hood: Fuck them.
Smith: I think they didn’t really appreciate that kick to the gut. Maybe felt it was a slight show of bad sportsmanship.
Hood: It’s fuckin legal. So what if it wasn’t a greco roman knuckle lock head over take down whatever the fuck. IT WORKED. Get over it.
~Strader stays on top of Hewitt, drilling him in the head with a forearm shot. She grabs him by the arm and whips him across the ring. He charges toward the opposite corner. She sprints behind him. Kelson reaches the corner, grabs the ropes and jumps into the air. Veronica runs under him. She pauses before hitting the buckles. Kelson comes down on his feet behind her...he leaps up and dropkicks Veronica in the back!! Her body shoots forward, chest slamming into the top buckle. Hewitt rushes to his feet. He spins her around, reaches back and chops the every loving shit out of her upper chest/neck!! The fans wince and WOO. Veronica gasps for air, leaning into Kelson. But, he straightens her up again and brings his hand back before slicing right through her a second time with a second chop, more vicious than the first. Strader drops to one knee, holding her chest, sucking wind~
Smith: Those knife edged chops that Kelson delivers are some of the most violent I’ve seen.
Hood: You know who delivers the most violent knife edged chops?
Smith: Who?
Hood: The Knife Man.
Smith: Whatever.
~Hewitt hooks Strader’s head. He pulls her to her feet. He attempts a suplex. But, she tries to block it. Kelson knees her in the gut and tries again...he gets her up...but she shakes and manages to get loose, dropping behind him. She throws a roundhouse kick...Kelson spins around and catches her foot, throwing it back. He spins around and elbows her in the face!! Veronica leans back...Kelson grabs her and using her momentum, snaps her over his knee with a backbreaker!! The fans pop! She hits the ring, hard, arching her back. Kelson tries a pin. Scruff slides in~
1!
KICK OUT
Smith: Quick kick out by Veronica. It’s obviously going to take more than that to keep the TransAtlantic Champion down.
Hood: Hey, can’t blame a guy for trying.
~Kelson isn’t frustrated. He wasn’t expecting a pin, just thought he’d see how far Veronica is from being put down. Turns out, pretty fuckin far. He returns to his feet and pulls her up...he whips her into a corner. She hits hard. Kelson backs up, sizes her up and he sprints ahead, diving forward with a corner spear. Veronica jumps up! Kelson’s shoulder SLAMS into the second buckle. He stumbles back, doubled over, holding his shoulder. Veronica, perched on the top buckle, drops down. She runs forward and lifts a knee, cracking Hewitt in the face! He straightens up and leans back on his heels. She runs forward and jumps up, taking him to the mat with a clothesline!!! They both hit the mat...both are down~
Smith: A great flurry of moves from the TransAtlantic Champion to take Kelson to the mat. This is the first time all match where it feels as though Veronica has the advantage.
Hood: Yea, Kelson’s been one step ahead since the start. But, not anymore. Those corner spears, man.
Smith: Feast or famine.
Hood: Yep, like going in raw on a street hooker.
~Veronica rolls over first. Kelson remains on his back. She struggles to her feet. She looks up at a screen which is zooming on her chest...she sees the extremely red streaks from Kelson’s chops. She frowns with anger. She looks down at Hewitt and stomps on his head. He rolls on his side, trying to cover up. She pulls him to his feet and whips him into a corner. He hits hard. Veronica climbs onto the second rope and begins to punch away at his head...one, two, three...and so on. The crowd gets to nine, excitedly anticipating the tenth punch. But, she withholds the tenth punch, preferring to lean back and toss Kelson into the center of the ring with a Monkey Flip! The fans boo~
Smith: These fans hate when that tenth punch is taken from them.
Hood: Just proves my point. Fans are idiots.
~Kelson sits up, arching his back in pain from the impact. Veronica stays on top of him, crawling over and locking in a sleeper from behind, while on her knees. Hewitt immediately tries to break free, but Strader’s got it locked in pretty tight. Scruff bends over, asking Hewitt if he wants to give it up...he declines. The fans clap and chant for Hewitt. Strader frowns...kinda dick of these fans to cheer for this new guy over her. But, whatever. She wrenches and twists the hold, doing everything she can to subdue and defeat Kelson. Realizing he’s slipping deeper and deeper into trouble, Hewitt forces his way to his feet. Veronica hops onto his back, holding onto the sleeper...but, Kelson reaches back and snaps her over, like earlier. She lands on her feet. He holds onto her head, spins around and drops her with a neckbreaker!!! They hit the mat, hard! Strader reaches for her neck, wincing in pain. Kelson remains down, sucking back the wind that was choked from his lungs. The crowd applauds, almost fully behind Kelson~
Smith: As usual in these types of match ups, Kelson’s size advantage enables him to force his way out of a submission hold.
Hood: Yea, I think it’s time Veronica quit fucking around and do whatever’s necessary to beat this guy.
Smith: He continues to impress.
~Hewitt sits up first. Strader remains down. He gets to his feet and pulls Strader up. She shoves him back and throws a kick into his gut...he catches her leg, spins her around, picks her up and drops her on her neck and head with a back suplex!! She hits hard, holding the back of her head. Kelson returns to his feet quickly, snaring Veronica’s arm and yanking her off the mat, pulling her in tightly. He hooks her, looks over his shoulder and tosses her up and over into the corner with a high angled release T-Bone Suplex!! The crowd pops! Veronica hits hard and collapses front first onto the mat. Kelson flips her over and yanks on her legs, pulling her from the corner. He makes the cover. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Another kick out from the TransAtlantic Champion but...Kelson is getting closer.
Hood: Yea, that was too close. The longer this shit goes the more Veronica is beginning to look like a pretender.
Smith: A loss here for the TransAtlantic Champion would be tremendously deflating.
~Hewitt, on his knees, takes a beat. So close. But, he’s got more to do. He gets up and reaches for Strader, pulling her back to her feet. Again, she tries to fight him off, but he’s got too much control at this point, subduing her with a quick, short elbow to the chin. He spins her around and hooks her for an inverted DDT...but, he lifts her up and brings her down with a Backstabber!!! The crowd pops once more!! Kelson hurries for the cover and for the first time the fans aren’t sure if she can kick out...Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP
Smith: Wow! Now THAT was close.
Hood: This dude is literally one move away from winning this thing.
Smith: Kelson Hewitt is on the precipice of superstardom here in OCW!
~Kelson looks up into the dark, Arizona sky. So close! But, again, he stays with it. You can’t give these talented OCW wrestlers any time to recuperate. He heads for the ropes and steps through, onto the apron. He waits for Veronica to get to her feet. Slowly, she does. She stumbles around, like Outcast after a week long bender. Hewitt jumps up and springboards off the top rope for METEORA!!!! BUT STRADER CATCHES HIM WITH LIKE A SUPREME (SUPERKICK!!) Her foot CRACKS Kelson in the jaw!!! Kelson’s body snaps back, slamming into the mat and Veronica collapses to the canvas!! Both wrestlers are down! The fans chant “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”~
Smith: Wow! What a move by Veronica! That’s exactly what she needed to get back into this match.
Hood: Yep, just like a football team getting a pick six. She needed something huge to keep from losing to Kelson. And, that was it.
Smith: Unbelievable impact. Unbelievable timing!
~Scruff hops around both wrestlers, anxious. He throws his arms in the air...the fans yell “ONE!” “TWO!” Strader rolls onto her side, wincing. Scruff breaks the count. She gets to all fours and looks over her brow at Kelson, who remains down. She crawls his way and snares him by the head, struggling to her feet, bringing him along for the ride. Once on their feet, Strader throws a kick into Hewitt’s gut...but Kelson blocks it! Veronica gets frustrated and rips her foot free before thrusting her hands forward into Kelson’s throat! He coughs and stumbles into a corner. The fans boo, slightly. Glaring at Kelson, she rubs her chopped chest and seeks revenge...she rears back for a chop of her own...but Kelson catches her hand!! He twists her wrist, locking it into place. Veronica bends over, wincing in pain. Kelson climbs up the buckles and onto the top rope, looking for a hurricanrana. He faces her, holding onto the wrist lock. Veronica jumps up and kicks her legs out, delivering a front drop kick to the top rope!! Kelson loses his balance and falls, getting crotched across the top rope!! The fans BOO heavily!! Veronica lands on the mat, hard, holding her back. Kelson remains teetering on the top rope, hunched over~
Smith: These fans are upset. They feel Veronica has cheated to gain the upper hand on Kelson.
Hood: They can boo all they want. She’s trying to win a fuckin match. If it doesn’t get you DQ’d then it’s legal.
Smith: Veronica is obviously frustrated over the fact she can’t or has been unable to out wrestle Kelson. So, she’s resorting to alternative tactics.
Hood: Listen to yourself, “alternative tactics”...he was trying to twist her fucking arm off! She’s in there fighting for survival, man!
~Veronica sits up, checking her wrist. She sees Kelson teetering on the top rope. She hears the boos. They seem to ignite some inner strength...she hurries to her feet and jumps up, wrapping both legs around Kelson’s head before tossing him off the top rope and back into the ring with a frankensteiner!!! Kelson flips over and lands HARD on his back!! Strader uses the ropes to return to her feet, turning and facing the downed Kelson. The fans continue to express their displeasure~
Smith: And, just like that, the script of this match has been flipped. Veronica is in complete control.
Hood: She’s learning, Smith. And she’s already good...so, ya know, just imagine how good she’s going to be once she’s figured it all out.
Smith: She is very young. But so is Kelson and this match is far from over, Hood.
~Strader waits for Kelson to return to his feet. He rolls onto all fours and pushes up...she reaches down and grabs him, hooking his arms. The crowd rises once they realize she’s looking to drop him with The Wild One (Pedigree). Kelson’s obviously done his homework...she stands up, with Veronica on his back...she’s upside down. She knees him in the back of the head...he lets go of her...she flips back and lands on her feet...the opponents are back to back. Kelson reaches for her head...she fights him off and sprints for the ropes. Hewitt spins around. Strader throws an Enziguri...but he catches her leg...he sweeps her other leg, snaring it. She hits the mat. He goes for an airplane spin...but Strader reaches up and pokes him in the eye!!! She then takes him over with a small package!!! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Smith: Kelson kicked out! BARELY
Hood: Holy shit...thought it was over. Veronica, man, she’ll do whatever it takes.
Smith: Yea, now she’s poking Kelson in the eye. Again, that’s not gonna win her many fans.
Hood: And, again, as long as she gets the victory, I don’t think she gives a shit.
~Both wrestlers scramble to their feet. Kelson lunges forward with a lariat...but Veronica ducks! Kelson turns around and he eats LIKE A SUPREME (Superkick)!!! He falls to the mat! Strader stumbles while hurrying for the nearest corner. She quickly climbs...her foot slips on the middle buckle a bit, costing her a few seconds. Kelson remains on the mat. He hasn’t moved since getting blasted with her superkick. Veronica reaches the top and looks down at Hewitt~
Smith: Party All The Time! Her top rope elbow! Here it comes!
Hood: Bravo, Kelson...you did well, son. But you just aren’t there, yet.
Smith: She hasn’t hit it yet, Hood
~Veronica leaps off the top rope...she gains tremendous air...huge vertical leap. She soars before coming down with an elbow drop...BUT KELSON MOVES!!! Veronica’s elbow slams into the mat!!! The crowd goes wild!!! She grabs her elbow, rolling around in pain. Kelson rolls to his hands and knees and works back to his feet. Strader, also, rushes to her feet...holding her elbow. She lunges at Kelson, but he ducks and hoists her onto his shoulders, falling back and smashing her into the mat with a Samoan Drop! She’s down! Kelson returns to his feet and heads for a corner. He begins the climb with the fans cheering him on~
Smith: And now Kelson’s heading to the top. He’s looking to hit the move we saw him defeat Bob Grenier with last week...Mighty No. 123!
Hood: Shit. Well, I mean, if he pulls it off...then he’s better than I thought he’d be.
Smith: He’s one move away from defeating an undefeated champion in just his second match!
~Kelson reaches the top. Unfortunately, Veronica is moving and not in position to take Mighty No 123. But, Kelson has thought ahead...he’s got more than one finisher. Strader rolls onto her front and gets onto all fours. Hewitt bends his knees, getting ready to take flight and drops Strader with Shazam! (Diving Foot Stomp From The Top Rope Too A Bent Over Oppenent's Back). He hesitates for a split second before jumping off...Vernoica dives out of the way!! Kelson lands on his feet, his knees buckling slightly. The fans gasp...disappointed. Veronica’s dive took her into the ropes...she pulls herself up and runs at Kelson...she throws a spinning kick...he blocks it. She spins around and throws a mule kick...he blocks it. She attempts a hook kick, but he blocks it. The fans grow louder and louder with each block~
Smith: Unbelievable. Everything she throws at him, he blocks!
Hood: This kid is a prodigy, Smith.
Smith: It certainly looks like he’s a cut above.
~Strader starts to lose it. Her frustration spilling over. She runs at Kelson, hands up, looking to claw and scrape at his face. He responds by leaning in and delivering a skull cracking headbutt!!! Strader’s eyes go wide. She stumbles around...legs gelatinous. Kelson grabs her by the head, he leaps up and he drives her face down into the mat with a facebuster! Veronica is down. Kelson returns to his feet and he looks at the corner. The fans chant and clap and urge him on~
Smith: C’mon, Kelson! She’s down! Hit her with Mighty No 123!
Hood: Kelson fanboy over here.
Smith: He’s earned this, Hood. He’s been better than Veronica every step of the way.
Hood: I don’t give a shit how good someone looks during a match. You haven’t earned a fuckin thing until you win.
~Kelson sees Strader struggling. He does the math. He can’t reach the top in time to pull off his finisher. Just like before...she’s too resilient. So, he decides to go an alternate route. He pulls Strader up and hooks her arm. He places his foot against her cheek. He’s getting ready to drop her with his finisher Steel Toed Boot (Inverted Stomp Facebreaker). But Veronica’s instincts quickly kick in as she snares his leg and spins around, taking him to the mat with a dragon screw leg whip!! Kelson grabs his knee, rolling on the mat in pain~
Smith: Tremendous counter by Strader. She’s obviously got all his moves scouted.
Hood: When you’re a proud member of a strong wrestling family like she is...you leave no stone unturned. Scouting your opponents is second nature.
Smith: Kelson might have to try something out of the box...something she wouldn’t expect.
~Veronica fights to her feet. She holds her head...it still aches from the headbutt. She grabs Kelson’s twisted knee and spins around, looking to lock in a Figure Four (Four Sticks)! But Kelson kicks her in the ass, sending her face first into the top buckle. She stumbles back. Hewitt rushes to his feet...he spins her around and double underhooks both her arms. The fans react with surprise...he’s really going to try and end this match by dropping Veronica with HER finisher~
Smith: The scouting report says this, Hood. It says that if Kelson gets desperate, he’ll use his opponent’s finisher against them.
Hood: Damn, is this really a desperate situation?
Smith: He certainly feels like it is. She’s got all his finishers scouted. He’s trying something ‘out of the box’.
Hood: If it’s on his scouting report then how can it be that unexpected?
Smith: Just watch the match!
~Veronica drops to her knee and she raises her arm up with a LOW BLOW!!! The fans BOOOOO!!! Kelson doubles over, turning his back to Strader. But, she hits him with ANOTHER LOW BLOW!! And, this time, she grabs his balls and yanks down to inflict further punishment. Kelson drops to one knee, looking like he’s about to throw up. The fans are irate...booing and yelling for Scruff to do something...but he walks around, trying to figure out what happened~
Smith: C’mon, Scruff! She hit him with TWO low blows right in front of you! Do something!
Hood: Maybe he didn’t see it, Smith? It is kinda dark out here.
Smith: We’ve got giant flood lights pointing right on top of these two and she did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM...how can you explain the fact he didn’t see it or do anything about it?
Hood: Classic OCW, baby.
~Veronica reaches her feet. She walks around Kelson and stands in front of him. He’s crippled with pain running through the lower half of his body. Veronica pulls him up, she hooks both his arms and she leaps into the air, dropping him on the mat with The Wild One (Pedigree)!!!! She flips him over and makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...VERONICA STRADER!!!!!
Smith: Ugh. That is...that’s just awful.
Hood: Again, if you don’t get DQ’d for it...it’s all legal.
Smith: Kelson bested her at every turn. He was the better wrestler. The only time she ever...EVER got any advantage against him was when she resorted to low blows and other dirty maneuvers.
Hood: Yep and, guess what, all she did was WIN
~Strader returns to her feet. She gets her hand raised. She looks down at Kelson...her eyes a mixture of anger and surprise. She stares into her title, grinds her teeth and heads towards Kelson~
Smith: No! Veronica, don’t! You’ve already won!
Hood: Aww yea, teach that rook a lesson!
~Veronica pauses. She staggers a bit. She looks into her title and her expression changes. Hewitt, meanwhile, rolls out of the ring...hurt and disappointed. He leans into the guardrail and the fans pat him on the back and give him words of encouragement. Strader stares into the title~
Smith: Did...did she just transform?
Hood: Obviously not. If she did, she’d be a car or jetski.
Smith: NOT THAT KIND OF TRANSFORM
~Kelson looks up into the ring, still hurting from the several low blows he suffered. The look on his face is one of determination. He’s not finished, not by a longshot. Strader, meanwhile, frowns...her expression returning to what it was. She looks down and sees Kelson out of the ring...out of reach. She yells, furious~
Smith: Did Victoria take the wheel and prevent Veronica from assaulting Kelson?
Hood: I don’t know, man. It seems to be a party up there in that head of hers and everyone is invited.
~Kelson heads down the aisle, away from the ring. Thanking the fans for his support. Back in the ring, Veronica stares back into her title at her reflection...speaking, saying things we cannot hear...the credits at the bottom of the screen flash~
Smith: Veronica Strader is having a moment but make no mistake about it...she withstood the test tonight against Kelson Hewitt remaining undefeated.
Hood: I think we just saw the beginning of what might be a tremendous rivalry, Smith. Those two are the future of this place.
Smith: Indeed...Kelson Hewitt is by far the most impressive rookie I can remember having the privilege of watching in some time. He’s got OCW Champion written all over him.
Hood: The future of this place is in great hands.
Smith: Indeed! Folks, that wraps things up for tonight. We’ll see you all THIS Sunday in Death Valley at The Great Illuminatus for The Pyramid Scheme Match!
Hood: FUUUUCK YES
Smith: Good night everyone!
~We fade out~