LIVE! Sunday, April 30th, 2023
SONY STUDIOS WHEEL OF FORTUNE SOUND STAGE BURBANK, CALIFORNIA
We are called misogynistic bastards yet two of our biggest and brightest stars were two women of a family so despised it’s fitting that they prop the OCW-Man Up. We could make blocked caller phone calls and ask which one of their favourite slashers inspired their new niche home. The OCW-Man encompasses them all.
A chair flies through the patio doors, the house filled with the smoke of Jiffy Pop burning away on the stove in the kitchen, and the OCW-Man dressed like the new medic SLASH mechanic, GhostKnife, floats over the ground like the Nurse in that fucking survival horror video game, Dead By Daylight (but hey, we at least know what DBD is), chasing who were fooled into thinking they are the Final (girl) Promotion because of their hallucinated status of being better than the big, bad, and evil OCW-Man.
GhostKnife/OCW-Man floats across our screens, as a couple middle-aged men cry while peeking through the window to come face first with their attacker, the face of OCW-Man concealed by the famous Fun World copyrighted trademark costume in six world-wide successful movies, comes crashing through, slitting all the fucking throats it can.
OCW-Man wants to play a game. Not one that will lead to a gruesome death through torture porn horror, not one about your favourite scary movies, but one of how you will survive your Misfortunes?
Champions who rely on their Finishers or Top Rope Maneuvers have to think outside the squared circle. Some who make a living crushing skulls, like the OCW-Man is doing right now, stalking the Challengers trying to grab the elusive gold that is OCW Championships without doing what is second nature to them. It’s not just a challenge for the challengers, it’s a challenge for all at OCW’s Wheel of Misfortune.
Coming tonight from Sony Studio’s Wheel of Fortune set, the champions: SYNN, Moonlight Rose, Plethora The Perilous, Claudia Frost and Delia Black look to stay on-top but will SYNN’s Mystery Opponent, Brooke Blakely, Axis and one half of the OCW Tag Team Champion succeed in ending their reigns?
It’s Time to find out!
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The screen fades onto the studio audience that have packed themselves in the legendary studio of Wheel of Fortune where Pat Sajak and Vanna White make and ruin the dreams of many different contestants, and where Randy from South Park got himself cancelled, is lively! The letterboard is in its normal spot to the left side and an OCW ring sits centre stage. Off to the right where the three contestants would stand to spin the wheel, is where our Premium Mega Show commentary trio is, waiting to call the action! Smith on the left, Cara on the far right, and Hood stuck in the middle. The OCWtron is sitting on-top of the letterboard like it was for the Hall of Fame ceremony on Friday.
Cara: Welcome bruhs to Wheel of Misfortune! Smith, my man! Welcome to the broadcast! Hoodwinkle misses you!
Smith: Thank you, Cara! I have to say, it’s nice to be here but I am enjoying my position as Head of HR.
Hood: Yeah, I can tell by the all the warning emails I get from you. But I like to point out she called me Foreskin Jim!
Smith: Well, I mean, she did, but the fan mail is positive so it is what it is, Hood.
Cara: Yeah, is what it is, Mr. Blowfish!
Hood: I really hate the both of you. I want you to know this.
Cara: But we love you, bruh!
Smith: Speak for yourself on that one, Cara.
Cara: We got a super-duper card tonight, guys! We open up with a Gauntlet match that the winner will get a Paradigm Championship title shot!
Smith: Yep, and your lovely Auntie Tee told me who’s in it, and I’m telling ya, it’s gonna be a good one!
Cara: She told me too, but I forgot.
Cara shows why she did when she pulls out her torch and shatter rig. Hood shakes his head and looks at Smith.
Hood: See what I am putting up with?
Smith: You mean, Karmic retribution?
Hood: Ugh.
Cara: *while heating her bowl* After we have the Craze Championship with Delia aka Delilah can’t take any head shots at Axis, and Axis doesn’t get to use rope breaks if he’s pinned our submitted in the ropes. Poor little bastard.
Smith: Poor little bastard, indeed. Claudia Frost has a huge disadvantage where she can lose by being counted out so all Bifford has to do is keep her out of the ring.
Hood: Yeah, but she’s lucky that Plethora cannot use his Piledriver finisher which has put down everyone that he’s ever used it on.
Smith: Then it’s Moonlight make her first defence where she can’t use the Top Rope which is half her move-set.
Cara: Brooke is lucky tho, she HAS to knock out that little underdeveloped tween, which is like a major wet dream, bruh.
Hood: I am most curious about SYNN will be defending the OCW title against. We have never not known in all the time I have been here.
Cara: I know who it is, bruh.
Cara’s shatter bowl is finally ready and she takes a huge rock of shatter in a single breath, no choking, like a fucking pro.
Smith: Who is it, Cara?
Cara: I’m not allowed to tell, but it is fitting. So, you three ready to get this show started?
Smith: I am.
Hood: Like I have a choice.
Cara: This is a fun way to start the show, bruhs!
Smith: That it is! Should get more interesting as we get to see who else is in this match up!
Hood: As long as we see some blood and guts, baby!
DING DING DING
Harris and Myst begin to circle each other in the ring. Harris goes in for the first attack and nails Myst with a right hook, Myst comes back with a right jab and quickly takes down Harris with a clothesline. Harris bounces back up and Myst tries for another clothesline, but Harris ducks and goes behind Myst. He wraps Myst up for a full-nelson slam!
Cara: Ouch! That's gotta hurt, bruhs. From what I hear from Checkers position, and my own eyes is Myst has her left hand tied behind her back, and Harris needs a five count pin!
Hood: Harris could be something in OCW.
Harris gets Myst to her feet and sends her into the ropes. Harris tries a clothesline of his own but Myst sucks and goes into the opposite ropes. Myst comes back and nails Harris with a big boot that reaches his midsection cause Harris has the height. Myst goes into the ropes again and comes down with a huge leg drop! Myst covers.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Cara: Close call there. Myst gets Harris to his feet and nails him with some hard punches with that right hand.
Smith: Harris blocks a punch from Myst and sweeps Myst to the mat, though!!
Harris goes to the feet of Jenny for an ankle lock, but Jenny places a boot into his face preventing the tortuous hold, Harris falls back as Jenny manages to get herself to her feet and charges which is no easy task not having both hands. Both competitors go for a clothesline and both go to the mat having connect with their clotheslines; they lay there for a second before both beginning to get to their vertical bases. They turn and face each other and lock up for the third time in this match. Harris goes for another wristlock, but Jenny leans into the move, hooking Harris up into a three quarter nelson, slamming him down to the mat. Bouncing off the ropes, she jumps high up into the air going for an elbow drop, but Harris moves out of the way just in the nick of time and Jenny lands on mat, grabbing her left arm in agony. Hitting the ropes for himself, Harris comes back with a dropkick, hitting Jenny in the chest and making the self proclaimed top star fall on her back. Harris goes for a cover.
1!
2!!
3!!!
4!!!!
KICKOUT!
Smith: That five count pin has to be frustrating!
Hood: Are you kidding? Myst is a superior athlete in this match, she just hasn't stepped up yet.
Cara: Well she needs to do that soon before Harris finishes her off!
Harris slams the mat in frustration and gets to his feet. Myst gets to her feet as well and Harris tries to land a kick to Myst' gut, but Myst catches his foot with her free hand. Harris tries for a quick enziguri, but Myst ducks! Jenny lifts Harris up into the air and spinning away from the corner, drops the Harris onto the mat with a thunderous slam. Both wrestlers roll to their side and grabbing at their lower back, the pain obvious on each of their faces and even through Harris's gritted teeth. Jenny picks Harris up to his feet, whipping him hard into the ropes and Harris bounces back with a springboard kick, but Myst manages to catch him and plant him with a sitout spinebuster wrapping a leg, she makes a pin.
1!!
2!!!
KICKOUT!
Cara: Oh wow! That was TOO close, bruhs!
Hood: I thought she had the 3!
Smith: Not this time, Hood. Harris is too tough!
Jenny shakes her head at Harris who charges in for a takedown. Jenny lowers her body and catches Harris on the standup and has the former MMA fighter in a partial gorilla press slam with only the right arm being free. Jenny totes the man around the ring before jumping up releasing Harris at the top of the jump. Jenny kneels down and Harris crashes down on his upturned knee. Jenny picks Harris up and tosses him into the corner. Harris lands backfist in the corner as he stumbles out, Jenny is on top of him with right hands to the face. Jenny places her left shoulder on the chest of Harris and repeatedly punches his face with her right. Jenny spits into her hand and slaps the chest of Harris open handed, the sound heard throughout the studio. The crowd gasps at the impact of the slap especially from the Smaller Myst.
Cara: Don’t judge a book by how tall they are, bruhs!
Hood: That made no sense.
Myst lands a sharp kick into Harris' stomach and hip tosses Harris out of the corner. Harris gets back to his feet and Myst doubles him over. After doubling Harris over, Jenny places Harris' head between her thighs, some of the men in he audience doing their best Joey Tribbiani impressions, and then wraps her free arm around Harris' waist in a reverse rear waistlock. Myst then whips Harris up vertically, hisl egs across either of her shoulders, and then shoves Harris forward, letting the momentum slam Harris down to the mat on his upper back.
Cara: Brutal pinebuster variation!!
Hood: It's OVER!
Myst makes the cover.
1!
2!!
3!!!
KICKOUT BUT IT’s A SPLIT SECOND TOO LATE!
DING DING DING
Belvedere: And the winner of this match and continuing on... JENNY MYST!!!
DING DING DING
Vicky comes running out, gas rag in hand, hiffing all the way down to the ring as she slides in getting in Myst’s face.
Smith: Word from the back is Vicky can’t use the ropes to break a pin or submission!
Hood: And Myst still has to have that hand tied! Brutal!
Slowly, Myst’s right hand comes up and her slowly draws a line across her throat, as Vicky is looking right fucked up but that makes her dangerous. Stone rolls her eyes and takes a step back, and then suddenly lunges with a swift right hook, but Myst blocks it with a thrust of her arm up. Myst then returns a right punch, staggering Stone back towards the ropes. Another hook, and Stone is forced back even more. Stone responds with a quick jab, and another, and now it is Myst forced to take some retreating steps. Stone gets Myst to the ropes, grabs her arm and whips her to the opposing side, however Myst plants her foot, and swings Stone around so she is the one that actually hits the ropes. Stone comes off, ducks Myst’s swing and bounces off the opposite side. She collides with Myst, shoulder to shoulder and both women barely move! Stone backs up, hits the ropes again, and again the collision leaves both ofthem standing tall. Stone spits on the canvas, runs to the ropes but Myst back peddles to hit the opposite ropes. Both women come at each other, and Myst swings hard, but Stone ducks and twists behind Myst and as the larger woman turns, Stone kicks her in the midsection, doubling her over! With Myst bent, Stone goes off the ropes, comes back with a huge scissor kick, but Myst stands at the last second and as Stone turns, Myst catches her by the throat with her free hand!
Hood: Here it comes!
Myst tries to lift Stone into the air, but Stone twists, lands on her feet and again kicks Myst in the gut. Grabbing her by the head, Stone hits a swinging neck breaker and finally puts Myst off her feet. Stone stands, smirking and stoned, but Myst quickly gets up. Stone doesn’t waste a moment, and again uses the ropes to come back to hit a sitting drop kick, but Myst twists to the side and as Stone lands on her back, Myst goes to the ropes, uses them to launch off and hit a huge leg drop on Vicky Stone! She hooks the leg of Stone quickly and Cuff drops to count.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Cara: No way that was going to finish Stone off, not all huffed up on gasoline!
Stone pushes Myst off, and rolls to her feet, and both women lock up and Myst gets the advantage and locks in Stones head for a Stiff DDT, Stones head hits hard! Myst follows with a fist drop into Stones stomach and covers her for a pin, getting the hang of only using her right hand.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Cara: Stone got a quick kick out, bruh!
Hood: Myst’s trying some quick pins, knowing it allows her a moment’s rest and demoralizes Stone more. Plus the gas has to settle in eventually. I mean, I can smell it from here.
Stone grabs her stomach and rolls over for the ropes...she begins to stand up but Myst kicks her back down. Myst then takes her foot and puts it on Stones throat and begins choking her getting leverage from the ropes. Cuff is there to warn Myst but remembers Stone can’t use the ropes so it’s technically not illegal, but she breaks away after a few more seconds and kicks Stone to the outside of the ring. Stone lands on her hands and knees and Myst slips out to pick her up off the ground and then lifts her up into a scoop slam and lets Stone go on the Wheel of the Wheel of Fortune. Stone hits her head hard and falls back over. Myst lifts Stone up and rolls her back into the ring. Myst climbs up onto the apron and begins to leap frog over the top rope but Stone jumps up and jars the ropes, catching Myst in between the legs...the action is effective, as Myst’s face goes cross and she holds on, sickened. Stone takes a few steps back and spears Myst out of the ropes and falls to the outside with her, both landing hard. Stone grabs her shoulder as it hits the bottom of the wheel, and Myst rolls away, favoring a leg.
Hood: Stone just gained the upper hand with a low blow, of sorts. I like it. Never ceases to amaze that hurts women too.
Smith: No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend, bruh!
The two commentators of Smith and Cara reach in front of Hood with a fist bump and a laugh as Hood hates life. Stone is the first to her feet, she begins to lift Myst up but Myst counters with a thrust to throat. Stone staggers a little ways backwards and Myst follows up with a big boot, it hits Stone in the face perfect and Stone falls backwards smashing the back of her head into a chair that was quickly abandoned by Belvedere. Stone grabs the back of her head but rolls to her feet quickly, and strikes Myst once, twice, three times knocking her down. Stone begins rapidly kicking Myst in the ribs. She holds Myst’s arm up and stomps it back down. Stone rolls back into the ring, she backs up to the opposite set of ropes and goes running and stuns the crowd with a suicide plancha over the top ropes, catching Myst and smashing them both into the shiny floor covering the soundstage. Myst's head bounces off the floor and she falls backwards almost unconscious. Stone stands first, and picks Myst up and rolls her to the inside. Stone then quickly mounts the steel steps to the apron and then to the turnbuckle. Aiming, Stone comes off the top with a flying elbow but Myst gets her knees up. Stone hits Myst’s knees and you can hear a crack from her ribs, she bounces back into the ropes holding onto them. Stone coughs roughly as she looks at Myst with disgust in her eyes, but Myst returns the look, a small smirk still on her face. Myst steps in and Stone follows and they start to lock up, but Myst grabs Stone and sets her up in an one handed pump-handle position. Myst then lifts Stone up, turns her over and brings her crashing down!
Cara: Damn that was impressive! All with one arm tied behind her back, bruhs!
Hood: Stone is taking everything Myst dishes out, and isn’t going down!!
Stone lays on the mat in a semi-unconscious state as Myst drops on top for another cover.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Hood: Stone kicked out!
Smith: Myst continues to go for the falls, and got closer this time!
Stone pushes herself up but Myst elbows her in the back forcing her back down. Stone rolls away from Myst and pulls herself up with the aide of the ropes. She wipes fresh blood now coming out of her lip and begins circling the ring with Myst. Myst jumps into the center first attempting to lock up with Stone but she moves out of the way and hits a high roundhouse kick knocking Myst down which Stone follows by lifting Myst back up whipping her into the ropes, then catches and whips her over with a belly to belly suplex. Stone pulls Myst back up and whips her into the ropes again and catches her lifting her up on her shoulder into a fireman’s carry and then falls back with a strong fall-away slam! Stone grabs Myst’s leg and attempts a pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Stone stands up with a scowl on her face and grabs Myst’s legs, her spreads them apart and leaps into the air and comes down with a knee to the stomach. Myst rolls over in pain as Stone backs into the corner motioning with both hands to Myst to come get some. Myst starts to stand up and goes running at Stone, but Stone jumps up onto the turnbuckle and Myst rams her shoulder into the turnbuckle. Stone then pulls Myst to the top of the turnbuckle with her...BUT MYST manages to swing herself around, hitting a tornado DDT on Stone off the top rope and makes the cover!
1!
2!!
3!!!!!
DING DING DING
Belvedere: And the winner of the second fall and continuing on... JENNY MYST!
Cara: Damn, Myst is on fire!
Hood: Well, I mean, Stone was huffed up on gasoline!
Smith: Imagine if she had of been sober!
Belvedere: On her way to the ring now with the Misfortune with only her having a countout count against them.... ALEXANDRA CALAWAY!
DING DING DING
Calaway hits the ring fast and they're too busy trying to size their opponent up from their respective corners to hear that the bell rang. Jenny shifts herself slightly, expecting Alexandra to start off this match, but she stays in her corner, focusing on her up and down. Finally, Jenny makes a move, walking to the center of the ring, where Alexandra meets her and they continue their staredown, now with some trash talk coming into the equation. Calaway makes the first physical action of the match as she goes in for a lockup with the smaller former XWF champion, but Jenny ducks out of the way, moving behind Alexandra and trying to drop Alexandra down with a cradle pin right off the bat. Alexandra rolls out of Jenny's grasp and pounces on her, trying to get the flash pin for the win.
1!
KICKOUT!
Jenny quickly goes for a reversal, spinning both of them on the mat before going for a pinfall of her own.
1!
KICKOUT!!!
Both get to their feet and Jenny goes for another quick pin as she takes out Alexandra's legs in a takedown, but Calaway is up and pushes the both of them backwards so that Alexandra's on top.
1!
Jenny rolls them back.
1!
2!
Alexandra swings them both forward!
1!
2!!
Both roll to their feet and stand off as the crowd cheers for the quick exchange. They barely spend a moment in the Indy Appreciation Stance before they are at it once again, Alexandra going for a knucklelock but Jenny ducks it once more, sliding in behind her and picking one of her legs out to bring her down to one knee, quickly pulling her into an Abdominal Stretch. Rather than locking her arms, cause she can’t with her own left tied back around her waist, Jenny focuses on grinding her right forearm against the side of Calaway's face, pushing her neck down.
Cara: And Jenny's got the early advantage, keeping up with her momentum from the last match up of this gauntlet, bruhs!
Smith: None can take advantage either being the fact they had no idea who they were gonna face, Tamika keeping that all close to her chest.
Hood: Fast way to start the show, tho!
Jenny quickly pulling her into a half Underhook to keep her from attacking, but the Texas raised powerhouse veteran manages to pull out, getting behind Jenny and pulling her into a Reverse Waistlock. Myst sits out immediately, rolling out of Alexandra's hold and up to her feet, getting some distance between the two of them as the crowd cheers, excited for this match so far. Pretty soon, the two lock up again, Calaway quickly going for a Side Headlock, but Jenny fights with it, both of them working hard to try and get the advantage of this grapple. Finally, Jenny moves behind Calaway to break it up and get her in a Reverse Waistlock with her free right arm, but Alexandra quickly widens her base, starting to pull her arms out, only for Jenny to trip her down onto the mat, turning her body to get her in a Front Facelock. Calaway manages to twist out of it being Jenny couldn’t tighten without her left hand but before she can get Jenny in a hold of her own, Jenny grabs her and twists her down to the mat in a Crucifix Pin. Before Cuff can drop down for the count, Calaway rolls through and gets back to her feet, with Jenny still on her back, and rushes into the corner backwards, sending Jenny right into the corner. Calaway backs off as Jenny gets back into a vertical base, rushing forward for a Stinger Splash, but Jenny slides out of a way as Alexandra crashes into the corner. Alexandra staggers backwards... right into the free right hand and arm for a DDT... Alexandra escapes it almost immediately. Alexandra rolls to her feet, pointing to her head to show how much of a ring veteran she is.
Cara: A bit early for that, don't you think Hood?
Hood: Hey, take the moment when you see it, or else you might regret it.
Alexandra goes back in for another Knucklelock, and this time, Jenny accepts. Calaway immediately gets the physical control of the lock having both of her arms to use, pushing Jenny against the ropes while also shoving her down to the mat just a bit. Feeling the pressure of losing control of the hold, Jenny snaps off a sharp kick to Alexandra's left shin that pays dividends as Alexandra relents on the hold and Jenny takes control. After a couple of seconds of Myst pushing down on her, Alexandra breaks the hold and tries to surprise Jenny with a lariat, but she dodges it and smacks Alexandra with one of her massive knife-edged chops as she turns around. Alexandra staggers backwards into the ropes, the force of the chop surprising her somewhat, and Jenny takes swift advantage of this, unleashing chop after chop onto Alexandra's chest that could be heard in the upper reaches of the soundstage. Calaway's chest already is turning red after about four of these chops, so she makes a quick move and piefaces Jenny down to the mat in order to get her to stop. Unfortunately for her, Jenny rolls right back to her feet and ducks the attempted roundhouse before actually sending her to the mat with another chop. Making it back to her feet, Calaway sees another painful hand coming, so she reacts quickly, catching the hand right before it hits her and retaliating with a massive BITCHSLAP that sends Jenny tumbling down onto her ass. Jenny gets back up slowly as Calaway gingerly rubs her raw chest, as Jenny nods a bit whilst holding her cheek. With a nasty little smirk on her face, Jenny explodes onto Alexandra, raining down a melee of rights and, well, more rights that Calaway, being a veteran and better striker at the moment, is able to block most of. As Alexandra is pushed towards the corner from the flurry of Jenny's offensive, Jenny starts to mix in some kicks, throw Ally off her game, but it doesn't do much as Calaway is still able to block many of her strikes, and rolls Jenny up quickly, grabbing a hold of her tights which Cuff doesn’t catch.
1!
2!!
3!!!!!!
KICKOUT BUT A SPLIT SECOND TOO LATE!
Cara: Damn bruh! I was starting to think Myst was gonna take it all, bruhs!
Smith: Cuff missed Calaway grabbing the tights, but Myst would’ve done the same!
Hood: Not wrong there.
Belvedere: And your winner and continuing to the final round of this gauntlet for an OCW Paradigm Championship match.... ALEXANDRA CALAWAY!!!!!
Belvedere: On his way to the ring now with the Misfortune of no rope breaks... SHINJIRO YAMAMOTO!!!!!!!!
DING DING DING
Shinjiro is in the ring before Belvedere is even done speaking and the two combatants carefully approach the center of the ring. The two lock up forcefully, and Shinjiro is quick to turn it into a side headlock. Calaway pushes him off, and then goes back to a corner to collect herself.
Cara: Quick exchange there, and Calaway being cautious right off the bat. She’s being a cautious bruh, bruhs!
After a moment they both move toward the center and lock up again. Calaway drives forward and slams Shinjiro into the turnbuckle. She immediately breaks off and walks to the center of the ring, throwing up both arms in a triumphant fashion as she does so.
Hood: A lot of force on that one!
Cara: Alexandra Calaway is certainly quite proud of it...
Shinjiro scratches his nose slightly. Both again meet in the center, and again both lock up.
Smith: Back to a lock-up position.
Calaway looks to back Shinjiro up again, but Shinjiro plants his foot and pivots, then spins and throws Calaway with an arm drag that takes her completely overhead. The crowd cheers as she collides with the mat, but he immediately rolls out of the ring, no count out to worry about.
Cara: Shinjiro got all of Calaway on that one! Shaken up, she's already moving outside the ring to regroup.
Hood: And why not? She’s smart to not let Shinjiro capitalize on ANY momentum.
Calaway paces on the outside, never taking her eyes off Shinjiro, who is similarly locked on. Shinjiro makes a "come on" motion, but Calaway paces around to the other side of the ring.
Cara: Is this really necessary?
Hood: Of course it is. Calaway is playing veteran mind games with the OCW newcomer.
Finally hopping onto the apron, Calaway carefully takes her time as she moves through the ropes. First one foot.. She stops to make sure Shinjiro isn't charging him. Then she finishes her re-entrance.
Cara: Finally.
Carefully moving to the center, Calaway raises one arm and calls for a test of strength.
Cara: Alexandra Calaway wants a test of strength?
Smith: I mean, why not? Gotta take a chance in this situation!
Shinjiro raises his arm and obliges, and then the two connect their other arms and begin to lean in. Calaway takes an early advantage, pushing Shinjiro over to a 45 degree angle. She continues to push down, and soon Shinjiro's shoulder is only about two feet from the canvas.
Cara: Shinjiro doing everything he can to keep from getting taken down here..
Hood: By a girl! HAHAHAHA!
But Shinjiro reaches down and finds some resilience, counter-balancing and pushing back up. Soon the two are dead even once again, with Calaway starting to lean over just slightly. Just then - Shinjiro slides one of his feet underneath Calaway's leg and extends, pushing her over and dropping her to the canvas.
Cara: And just like that Shinjiro rebounds and takes Calaway clean off her feet once more, bruh!
Hood: Well, it’s about time!
Smith: It’s amazing we don’t get more hate mail for you.
Calaway scrambles back up, but is immediately caught with a running knee lift that knocks her into a turnbuckle. Wasting no time with his momentum, Shinjiro ascends the buckle and begins to lay into Calaway with stiff right hands!
Cara: The Crowd is all the way behind this now! Shinjiro accosting Calaway with shot after shot; and now he plants both feet in her sternum, pulls down and flips Calaway overhead! Airborne-bruh!
Calaway tries to roll out of the ring once again, but Shinjiro drops down with a quick elbow to prevent this. He grabs her by his hair and pulls her to her feet. Calaway swings with a haymaker - Shinjiro ducks - and then from a back waistlock takes Alexandra Calaway up and drops her up - stops in midair - then swings her down.
Cara: Face-first powerbomb!
Not stopping there, Shinjiro seamlessly stands up and performs a corkscrew senton.
Cara: And what a feat of athleticism, bruh!
Hood: That's all well and good, but you and I both know this match isn't going to come down to athleticism.
Cara: What's that supposed to mean, Hoodie and Da Blowfeesh?
Hood: Just a hunch, you stoner bitch.
Calaway pulls herself back up to her feet, and moves in with a groggy punch that Shinjiro blocks away, and then he begins a series of successive strikes - punch, hook, two right knees to the head - then with both arms still around Calaway's head drops with a sitout jawbreaker.
Smith: Shinjiro is controlling every inch of this match-up so far. Alexandra Calaway hasn't been able to respond with anything.
Hood: He is the fresher wrestler!
Shinjiro grabs a leg and locks it beneath his arm, as Calaway flails his other leg to keep it away.
Cara: And just like that Shinjiro is looking to roll her over and put her away!
Hood: No! Fight him off!
Calaway squirms on the mat to try and get away, but to no avail. Just as Shinjiro is about to latch onto the second leg, Calaway reels back and kicks him clean below the belt. The crowd roars their disapproval as Shinjiro doubles over.
Cara: Right in the family jewels!
Hood: Ha! Perfectly legal in this contest! Shinjiro doesn't have the fortitude to go the distance in a match like this.
Calaway wastes no time dropping stiff knees into Shinjiro's gut to keep the pain there. She grabs a leg, and starts dropping into it with her elbow.
Cara: Looks like he's going after Shinjiro's mobility here, bruhs.
Hood: Decisively smart. Take out those legs and he won't have to worry about any of Shinjiro’s acrobatics.
Cara: Calaway hooks that right leg into a grapevine, and begins wrenching away!
Shinjiro wrenches around in pain. Cuff drops to the mat to check on him, but he says he's not tapping. He begins to move over to the ropes.
Hood: What an idiot! Even if he makes it to the ropes, Calaway is under no obligation to break that hold!
Shinjiro gets to the ropes, and latches on. Cuff simply shrugs.
Hood: See what I mean?
However, Shinjiro doesn't stop with the bottom rope. He grabs onto the middle one, and begins pulling himself up for leverage.