OCW Presents: Throwback
LIVE! Monday, January 28th 2019
From Club Space in Miami, Florida

~An old man stumbles through the hallway of what appears to be an aging double wide. The floor creaks under the weight of his worn boots. He leans against the left wall, catching his breath. The siding bends. This place is far from sturdy. The old man catches his breath and continues walking. He reaches the final door to his left and slowly slides the fake wooden panel open, revealing a messy bedroom. The bed is small, it holds a young boy. He appears to be sound asleep. The old man grumbles as he carefully tiptoes his way into the room, avoiding wrestling action figures and OCW trading cards. The heel of his boot stomps right onto the limited edition Scott Syren trading card, ruining it forever. The toe of his other boot accidentally kicks a dirty TGO doll to the side. He reaches an undersized entertainment center that leans to the right. His hand extends forward, reaching for the ends of several books, which stand upright. His index and middle finger split them apart. A smile flashes across his face. There it is. A hidden, tiny bottle of whiskey~

Old Man: Ah, my stash.

~The old man furtively places the whiskey into his front pocket. He locates a book behind the rest labeled, in crude sharpie, “Perfectly Marvel –‘ the rest of what we assume to be ‘Marvelous’ ran out of room on the cover and just sort of vanished into the ether. The old man licks his lips and slides the strange book under his arm. He turns for the door, about to make his exit. His posture slackens. His footsteps loosen. He steps on a SiLVeRFReaK doll which lets out a loud “EEEK”. He freezes, wincing. In the background we see the young child begin to stir. The boy murmurs a bit before going still. The old man breathes a sigh of relief and reaches for the door~

Young Boy: Grandpa? Is that you?

~Grandpa shuts his eyes tight and releases a very quiet ‘fuck’. He turns around, opens his eyes and smiles wide~

Grandpa: I’m sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Just wanted to check in and see if you were alright. You can go back to bed.

Grandson: But I’m not tired.

Grandpa: What do you mean you aren’t tired? You were sound asleep two seconds ago.

Grandson: Yes, but now I’m awake. Maybe you could tell me a story to make me tired again.

~ Grandpa so does not want to tell a story. He wants to drink his whiskey and thumb through the book under his arm. But, the kid, his Grandson, is awake. There’s no room for personal entertainment as long as the kid is alert and moving about. So, he does what he must~

Grandpa: Let me guess, you want to hear some story about a girl named Buttercup and a stable boy named Westley.

Grandson: No sir that sounds kind of lame.

~Grandpa laughs and takes a seat at the edge of the bed~

Grandpa: Haha, it does sound lame, doesn’t it? Well, what would you like to hear?

Grandson: I don’t know, make something up.

~Again Grandpa grumbles. He’s not much of a storyteller. That’s what television is for, he thinks. He looks around and spots an Ed Houston action figure~

Grandpa: Alright, how about a story featuring The Rocket Man. The Rocket Man dreamed of flying spaceships. He wanted to soar higher than any person had ever soared. But, a dirty alcoholic stood in his path. This drunkard had already cost The Rocket Man a great deal. So, The Rocket Man had no choice but to face the drunkard if he wanted to clear the necessary air space for his desired ascension. So…

Grandson: I don’t like this story.

~Grandpa’s hands, placed atop his bony knees, grab and twist the fabric of his worn jeans. It’s taking all his elderly resolve to prevent explosion. A few deep breaths later and the old man presses on~

Grandpa: Okay then…how about a story featuring a fair maiden named Andrea. She had high ambitions. She desired to chase her dreams. Her family, however, scoffed at her goals. They constantly told her she couldn’t make it. She was determined to prove them wrong. As fate would have it she crossed paths with a fellow tortured soul – a man called Bester. Bester used to go by a different name and wore a mask. He loved entertaining people and providing fun for every person in the room. Sadly, Bester fell on hard times and faced the harsh realities of adulthood. It pushed him to abandon his façade and bubbly demeanor. He grew cold and bitter. Bester…

Grandson: This one isn’t any better.

~Grandpa grumbles once again. We think we hear a few ‘shits’ and ‘fucks’ but they are said at such a low volume it’s impossible to be sure. A few deep breaths later, he moves on~

Grandson: Fine. Allow me to regale you with the tale of King Infinity. This was a great man. A true king, in fact. He achieved greatness everywhere he went. One day, he stepped foot into a new land. Determined to conquer this land, he sought the services of a young warrior named The Legend. Together they worked to vanquish all opposition so King Infinity could take his place upon the kingdom’s throne. The Legend, however, was not made aware of these plans. He was under the assumption the power they gained would be shared. King Infinity had no intention on informing The Legend of the real plan until it was too late. He turned on The Legend when the time was right and slayed him with his massive…

Grandson: This King Infinity sounds like a real jerk. And this Legend guy sounds kinda dumb. I don’t like this story, either.

~Grandpa throws his arms in the air, exasperated. The book under his arm falls atop the UBER MAN comforter. The Grandson’s eyes dart toward it. Grandpa hasn’t noticed~

Grandpa: Well for heaven’s sake, boy! You ask me to tell you a story and then you don’t want to hear any story I tell! Make up your damn mind!

Grandson: How about a story from that?

Grandpa: From what?

~Grandpa sees his book. He freezes. Slowly, he reaches over and snares the book with both hands, bringing it to his lap. He opens it, slightly, careful to conceal the pages from his Grandson. We soon see why. The pages are filled with pornographic images of beautiful women. Grandpa’s eyes linger a little longer than anybody watching this would like~

Grandson: GRANDPA!

~Grandson had been trying to get his attention for nearly a minute. His outburst worked. Grandpa shut the book and turned to his Grandson~

Grandson: I want to hear about that book.

Grandpa: Oh, uh, this book? Well, you see…

~He stumbled and stammered over his words, trying to find a loose mental thread to unravel the ball of string tying up his creative thought process. He glanced at the cover, “Perfectly Marvel –“. He looked across the room and spotted a LIME crayon. His eyes darted to a picture frame that was perfectly mounted against the cheap wall. Suddenly, inspiration struck!~

Grandson: Lean back, child. Allow me to fill your head with the greatest story in the history of an opulent kingdom known as OCWLand.

Grandson: OCWLand?

Grandpa: I SAID LEAN BACK!

~Spooked into silence, Grandson leans back and pulls the covers up to his chin. His Grandpa continues~

Grandpa: This land featured many rulers. Some great, some terrible. Currently the land was ruled by arguably its greatest leader, a man known as The Marvel. He sat upon a lime throne. He truly was a spectacle. The Marvel could not be bested. Gladiators, warriors, soldiers, and even bullshit scientologists tried to take The Marvel down but he vanquished them all, one after another. It began to appear as though this man’s equal simply did not exist. Until, one day…

~Grandson had grown quiet. His eyes were closed. Grandpa reached into his pocket, removing his whiskey. He took a quick sip, placing the whiskey back into his pocket. He began to sit up. His Grandson’s eyes shot open~

Grandson: Why did you stop?

Grandpa: As I was saying! The Marvel was unbeatable. However, one day, a former leader re-emerged. He had heard stories of The Marvel. Truth which sounded like fable had been dangled in front of this former leader for months. This former leader, The Perfect One, had heard enough. He had to see it with his own, perfect eyes to truly believe in the existence of this ‘Marvel’. So, he returned to OCWLand to meet The Marvel. Reaching The Marvel wasn’t easy. He had to defeat thirty-one warriors to earn a face to face with what he believed to be a mythical being. You see, The Perfect One had always been a cynic. He wasn’t born this way. OCWLand had sharpened the man’s edges.

Grandson: How?

Grandpa: Back when The Perfect One earned his opportunity to lead, OCWLand went dark. The lights were shut off during his reign and he was ejected from the throne. He never again received an opportunity to reclaim the seat that was taken from him. It was an injustice that would jade any man. The Perfect One was a firm believer in his talent and ability. In his mind there was no man superior to him. He’d seen them all come and go without cowering in fear beneath their power. But, this Marvel…this man intrigued The Perfect One. He was compelled to return and test the icon.

Grandson: And, did he?

Grandpa: The Perfect One earned his meeting with The Marvel. He was determined to provide The Marvel’s greatest test to date and he believed, at the end of the test, The Marvel would fail. The Marvel envisioned a very different scenario. He envisioned a reign that would only end when he grew tired of ruling. There simply wasn’t a being alive that could challenge him. And, as for the people, well they were truly torn. The older generation remembered The Perfect One and admired his ability. The younger generation grew up on stories of The Perfect One and his dominant run. But they had only ever seen The Marvel’s greatness.

Grandson: So, what happened?

Grandpa: Well…

~We quickly cut to a shot of Grandpa sliding his Grandson’s door shut. The young boy is finally asleep. Grandpa makes his way down the hallway, book under his arm and whiskey bottle in his hand. He takes several generous sips before reaching the living area. An old, worn leather recliner sits dangerously close to a small, thick television set. Grandpa plops into his chair and turns on his television~

Grandpa: Thought that little shit would never go to bed

~He surfs around and finds “Throwback” airing LIVE on STARZ~

Grandpa: Fuck, might as well.

~He selects the channel, opens up his incognito porn mag, and takes another pull from his whiskey bottle. The OCW logo flashes onto his TV screen. We zoom in until his screen fills ours. A hype video begins to air~

~We cut into the sold out Club Space in Miami, Florida!! The entire venue is decked out in 80’s paraphernalia. 80’s music is blaring over the speakers! Fans are dressed in 80’s clothing! It’s a rad scene, dude! We cut to Smith and Hood. Smith is wearing a silk shirt tucked into acid wash jeans. Hood has a piano neck tie. He doesn’t look too happy~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Throwback, OCW’s first PPV event of 2019!!

Hood: Fuck Zybala. It’s his fault I’m dressed like some douche bag from the 80’s. So much for getting laid tonight.

Smith: We’re all dressed in theme, Hood! Tonight we throw it back to the 1980’s! What a decade!

Hood: Do you at least have any cocaine?

Smith: Haha, Hood is only kidding, folks! We've got a tremendous, action packed night in store so let's not waste any time. The cage is ready...let's find out who will walk away the next OCW Paradigm Championship challenger!

Fatal Four Way Steel Cage
Winner gets a Paradigm Title Shot
Dangerous Dan (5-2) vs. Kitty Petrova (2-0) vs. Mike Harrison (7-2) vs. Noah Hanson (3-1)

~The fans are READY. It’s time to get this shindig underway! “Hold Me Now” by Thompson Twins blasts throughout Club Space! The DJ must have watched BANDERSNATCH. The crowd is swaying and singing to the incredibly catchy tune that everyone forgets they remember. It comes to a screeching halt as Belvedere clears his throat! A massive ovation follows! These fans want to see some ACTION!! A Steel Cage begins to lower over the ring which only increases the MADNESS echoing throughout this lively night time establishment~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…welcome to Throwback!!! The first match this evening is a Fatal Four Way which will take place inside a Steel Cage! In order to win, an individual must score a pinfall, earn a submission, or escape the cage with both feet hitting the floor. The first competitor to accomplish this will earn a Paradigm Title Shot! Introducing first…

~"I Am The Fire" by Halestorm hits! Kitty Petrova emerges from behind a very 1980’s themed curtain. She pauses, taking stock of the fans – all dressed in 80’s attire. She pays them little mind. Her focus locks on the ring and cage set in front of her. She makes her way toward the dastardly destination, approaching the door. GRUFF (OCW’s curmudgeonly referee) holds the door open for her. He says, “Ma lady” for some reason, motioning for Kitty to enter. Again, Kitty barely notices the guy. She’d probably be unable to pick him out of a lineup of two. She steps into the ring, ready for combat~

Belvedere: From Napa Valley, California…standing 5’6 ½ and weighing in at 125lbs…Kitty Petrova!!!

Smith: Kitty Petrova demanded inclusion in this match and, well, she got it

Hood: Never be afraid to ask for what you want, folks. That’s a major key to happiness

Smith: I can’t argue with that logic

~"Killin In The Name of" by Rage Against the Machine hits! The fans begin to boo when they realize to whom this theme belongs. Noah Hanson steps out from behind the curtain. The man has many miles attached to his pro wrestling resume, yet he looks as eager to compete as anyone on the roster. Much like Kitty, Noah – a true veteran of the sport, forgoes enduring the fans vitriol and entertaining their taunts. He marches down the aisle way and toward the cage. He spends little time admiring the steel apparatus. He’s seen them all. He hustles up the steps and enters into the ring, finding a corner not occupied by Petrova~

Belvedere: From Kansas City, Kansas…standing 6’2 ¾ and weighing in at 236 ¾ lbs…Noah Hanson!!!

~'Pyscho' by Muse blares throughout Club Space! This song is instantly recognized by all the fans in attendance. Mike Harrison steps out from behind the curtain, fresh off his much needed victory over OGDA a few weeks ago. Harrison nods at the fans, acknowledging their spirit. He makes his way down the aisle, reaching the cage. He grasps the side of the cage with his hands and shakes, testing the metal’s stability. Harrison seems content with the structure and enters into the ring, finding an unoccupied corner~

Belvedere: Introducing next…from Blackpool, England…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 185lbs…he is a former OCW Craze Champion…he is Mike Harrison!!!

~The lights go out as a strobe of red and blue begin flashing across Club Space~

"I was born in a thunderstorm
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I played on my own
but I survived"

~Dan emerges from behind the 1980’s curtain, staring out into the crowd~

"I wanted everything I never had
Like the love that comes with life
I wore envy and I hated it
But I survived"

~Dan makes his way towards the ring, embracing the fans, but keeping his emotions in check~

"I had a one way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry in your pillow
But I survived"

~Dan pauses at the cage, looking the steel structure up and down. He promptly rushes up the steps and slips into the ring. He finds the last remaining corner heads up to the turnbuckle. He points to the crowd, and lip syncs "I'm still breathing..." from his theme song lyrics. ~

~Dan slowly climbs down the turnbuckle and stands in the middle of the ring, as the lights dim and a spotlight shines on him. He falls to his knees as the lyrics from his song blasts over the PA~

"I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

Belvedere: And, the fourth and final participant…from Smithville, Tennessee…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 225lbs…he is a former OCW Paradigm Champion…he is one half of the Danger Boiz…he is…Dangerous Dan!!!!

~The crowd pops for Dan! He points out to the fans, before hopping off the middle buckle and bouncing around the mat, full of energy. Belvedere exits the ring leaving Scruff and the four participants behind. Gruff slams the door shut. Scruff calls for the bell. It rings and the fans rise to their feet, anxious to get this night underway~

Smith: Noah Hanson impressed everyone in OCW with his performance at Death March. Tonight he has a chance to parlay that performance into a Paradigm Title shot

Hood: Yea but Mike Harrison is going to be tough. The dude jumped up and beat the OCW Craze Champion two weeks ago.

Smith: Indeed…then you have Dan. A man who has won numerous titles in OCW, including the very title he fights to regain here tonight. He’s also a GCWA Hall of Famer.

Hood: There’s good Dan and there’s bad Dan. Given the competition he faces…he’d better hope good Dan shows up.

Smith: Indeed…and, finally, the undefeated newcomer, Kitty Petrova

Hood: She’s my pick. She’s going to be a star in OCW, I think

Smith: All four ooze star potential, Hood. But, only one can walk away victorious tonight. Let’s find out who that person will be!

~Dan takes a step toward Noah. Noah doesn’t engage. He eyes Kitty and heads her way. Petrova is wary of Noah’s intentions but willing to listen. Noah pitches an idea to Kitty. Dan extends his arms as if to say “C’mon, really?” the crowd boos. Harrison pats Dan on the back and begins to confer with the OCW veteran~

Smith: Are we witnessing the formation of teams?

Hood: Looks that way…although those teams have the longevity of an earthworm trapped under a blazing sun

Smith: Yikes

Hood: I’m just saying! It’s not like two people can SPLIT the victory

~Kitty seems to amend some of Noah’s plan. Hanson puts his hands up, trying to stop Kitty from going any further. The two seem to have reached an impasse. Harrison, meanwhile, gets on all fours in the center of the ring. Kitty and Noah fail to notice. Dan backs into a corner and takes off, sprinting…he steps up on Mike’s back and leaps into the air! Noah and Kitty look up but it’s too late…Dan comes crashing down on the duo, smashing them into a corner!!! The crowd goes wild!! Dan rolls backward, popping to his feet! Kitty and Noah are both hung up in the ropes, leaning against the cage~

Smith: Now there’s the Dan we all know and love!

Hood: Speak for yourself!

Smith: He’s not going to sit back and strategize…he’s simply going to take it!

Hood: That’s because strategy flies right over his stupid looking hair

~Dan snares Hanson, dragging him away from Kitty and their corner. He whips Hanson into the ropes. Hanson bounces off. Harrison is standing back, watching the action. Dan leaps up and smacks Noah in the face with a spinning wheel kick!! Noah falls to the mat, rolling away, instinctively. His body hits the cage – he’s trapped. Mike marches toward Kitty~

Smith: It appears Mike and Dan want to beat Kitty and Noah down before battling it out against each other

Hood: Unpossible…we just talked about how Dan is incapable of strategizing!

Smith: Looks like Dan and his colorful hair is proving you wrong!

~Mike snares Kitty by the hair…but he receives a kick in the shin for his efforts! Harrison staggers back. Kitty throws a palm strike uppercut, straightening Harrison. She charges forward and takes Harrison down with a Lou Thesz Press!! She remains on top of Harrison, pummeling the former Craze Champion with right hands~

Smith: Kitty Petrova bouncing right back!

Hood: My favorite!

Smith: Yes, we are aware

Hood: Look at her go! She’s like Meyhu if Meyhu had tits!

~Noah reaches his feet, trapped in between the ropes and cage. Dan lunges forward with a superkick!! Noah dives through the middle and bottom ropes. Dan’s foot SLAMS into the cage!! He reaches for his knee and turns around, after carefully lifting his leg out of the ropes. Upon turning around he’s dropped to the mat via a Dragon Screw Leg Whip courtesy of Noah! Noah returns to his feet…he sees Kitty across the ring standing over a downed Mike Harrison. The two share a simple nod before returning to their efforts~

Smith: And just like that Kitty and Noah are back in control

Hood: Dan kicked the cage! Haha, classic Dan!

Smith: He didn’t kick the cage on purpose!

Hood: Don’t kick metal, stupid! Classic Dan

~Hanson yanks Dan to his feet via two handfuls of colorful hair. He jerks Dan into a corner and stands atop the middle buckle. Noah balls up his right fist and starts to punch away at the prone forehead of Dan. Meanwhile, Kitty has Harrison on his feet, in the corner. Instead of climbing to the middle buckle like Noah, she remains grounded and decides to throw some knife edged chops into Mike’s bare chest. Each one rings out louder than the previous chop. Harrison winces and reaches for his reddening chest. Kitty yanks his hand away and continues to chop~

Smith: Kitty is carving Mike Harrison’s chest up!

Hood: Living up to that nickname!

Smith: Meanwhile Noah is attempting knock Dan silly

Hood: He’s too late

~Noah steps down…Kitty stops chopping. The duo look at one another and whip their afflicted opponents out of the corner simultaneously. Dan and Harrison head for a collision. They lock arms and twist around! Harrison and Kitty are caught off guard as Dan and Harrison charge toward them! Dan takes Kitty down with a flying forearm while Harrison drops Noah with a clothesline!! The fans jump to their feet, cheering on their favorites~

Smith: Smart, quick thinking by Harrison and Dan!

Hood: Ugh

Smith: You know as well as I do that Kitty isn’t going to just walk in and have everything handed to her. She’s going to have to earn it.

Hood: THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!

~Dan pulls Kitty up and whips her at Harrison. Mike jumps in the air and takes Kitty down with Sling Blade!!! Harrison pops back to his feet and snares Noah. He whips Noah at Dan. Noah surprises Dan by jumping in the air. Dan catches him! He’s got Noah in the powerbomb position. Harrison runs over to help. He flies through the air with a dropkick! Noah leans back with a Frankensteiner, tossing Dan head first into Harrison’s dropkick!!! Dan is hit HARD!!! His body goes limp, falling face first onto the mat. Harrison is back to his feet, quickly. He looks down, shocked. Noah sneaks up behind Harrison and rolls him up~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!

Smith: Noah nearly stole the match!

Hood: Stole? Really? You act like all the shit that just happened was an accident

Smith: Okay, he nearly won the match in surprising fashion

Hood: There ya go

~Noah returns to his feet. Harrison hurries to meet him, but Hanson takes him down with a swift DDT. Kitty returns to her feet. She walks over to Noah and shoves him in the chest. Noah looks at her like “What the hell?” Kitty is obviously pissed that he went for the pin. Noah shrugs as if to say “Get over it.” He moves past her, going back after Harrison. Kitty grabs him by the hair, spins around and drops him with a neckbreaker!!! Hanson grabs his neck and writhes around atop the mat in pain~

Smith: Great move by Petrova! It appears as though that alliance is dead

Hood: Way to go, Kitty! Now walk out of there and claim what’s yours

Smith: I don’t think it’s going to be that easy, Hood

Hood: Well, it should be

~Kitty steps over Hanson and heads toward the door. Noah grabs her by the leg. Kitty tries to kick him away, but Noah yanks back, forcing Kitty to brace against the mat using her hands. Hanson grabs her other leg and gets to his feet, holding Petrova in the wheel barrow position. Mike Harrison uses the ropes to get back to his feet. He sees Noah with Kitty in a prone position. Noah flips Kitty up, looking to transition into a Full Nelson…Kitty, though, grabs Noah by the head and drops him with a Stunner!! Noah flips back, landing on the mat, near Dan. Kitty pops to her feet, only to get SPEARED by Harrison~

Smith: Mike Harrison nearly gutted Kitty Petrova with that spear!

Hood: Oh come on, man! Take it easy, she’s only a woman!

Smith: You serious?

Hood: Whatever benefits Kitty, bro

~Mike heads for the door. He waves at Gruff, ordering him to open the door. Gruff as commanded…albeit begrudgingly. Harrison reaches the ropes and attempts to step through. He gets one leg through but the other is snared by Noah Hanson! Harrison looks down and tries to shake Hanson off. Noah, on the mat, is acting out in desperation. Kitty sits up against the ropes, clutching her midsection. Dan is still down. Mike, annoyed, steps back through the ropes, knowing he’s got to have more leverage to get rid of Noah. Petrova returns to her feet and heads over. She clobbers a slightly handicapped Mike with a forearm to the side of the head. Mike stumbles back. Noah gets to his feet and pushes Kitty aside. He drills Mike in the head with a boot! Noah falls through the ropes!! He lands into the door! The crowd pops! Gruff starts to open the door! Kitty and Noah rush forward, grabbing his legs and pulling him back into the ring before he falls out of the cage~

Smith: Wow! Mike Harrison…whether he intended to or not, nearly won this thing!

Hood: Talk about nearly lucking into a title opportunity

Smith: It wasn’t all luck, Hood. He had to be in that situation to begin with

Hood: And what situation is that? The ‘getting kicked in the face’ situation?

~Kitty and Noah drag Harrison near the center of the ring. Mike pulls his legs in and kicks them out, shoving Kitty and Noah off. He hurries to his feet. We see Dan rolling away, under the rope and against the cage. He’s the forgotten man! Mike charges at Noah and Kitty with a double clothesline. They duck…they take off, hitting the ropes. Noah grabs onto the ropes, to keep from bouncing off. Kitty does not. She charges at Mike, leaping through the air. He catches Petrova!! He tosses her over his head with a Fall Away Slam!! Kitty’s body SLAMS into the cage…this side is perpendicular to the side Dan is up against. So, she hits the cage and falls to the apron. The entire cage shakes from the impact~

Smith: Great move by Harrison…he continues to look strong coming off his victory over Bester

Hood: Yea, meanwhile those sleeping pills are really kicking in with Dan

Smith: Did you not see the blow he took to the head?

Hood: No, sorry, I averted my eyes. I don’t like watching guys delivers blows to the head of other guys

~Harrison rushes over, trying to get the jump on Noah. He gets a few shots in on Noah, stunning the veteran. Noah stumbles against the ropes, his feet stepping on Kitty’s arm. Harrison whips Noah off the ropes, across the ring. Noah reverses…Harrison charges toward the ropes but, again, stops…this time by grabbing onto the cage with his hands. Hanson rushes forward and leaps into the air with a knee. He tries to drive Harrison face first into the cage with a flying knee from behind, but Mike moves!! Noah’s knee slams into the cage!! His leg gets tangled in the ropes on the way down and he lands awkwardly on the mat. Mike looks around…Kitty is down…Dan may be dead…and Noah is down. The crowd starts cheering him on. He points toward the cage door, asking Gruff to open it up~

Smith: Mike Harrison may win it right here!

Hood: Not who I was pulling for but I’d take it

Smith: He’s got main event level talent. It’s just a matter of remaining focused

Hood: Man you can say that shit for a lot of people in this profession

~Mike heads for the ropes nearest the door. The crowd reacts. Our POV shifts over to spot Dan standing atop the top rope. He springboards off, flying through the air toward Harrison! Mike turns around and catches Dan! Dan looks around, nervously. Mike marches toward the center of the ring…he hoists Dan up, over his head for an Alabama Slam! Dan, though, wiggles free, sliding down Mike’s back and attempting a modified sunset flip. Harrison tries to sit out on Dan’s chest…Dan moves. Dan pops to his feet…Harrison lands on his ass…Dan hits the ropes, bounces off and smacks Mike in the face with a Front Dropkick!! The crowd goes wild! They chant ‘DAN!’ Dangerous Dan remains on the mat, still suffering the impact his head absorbed earlier. Gruff shuts the door, grumbling “Make up yo damn mind.”~

Smith: And Dan is back in this!

Hood: What? Seriously? Doesn’t Dan know that he’s FILLER?

Smith: He’s WAY more than that, Hood

Hood: No way, man. He was put in this match as a courtesy. He’s not supposed to actually win the fucking thing

~Dan turns around and spots Kitty trying to climb the cage. He rushes over, hooking Petrova’s waist and attempting to rip her from the side of the cage. Noah, back on his feet, walks over with a slight limp. He shakes his leg, working out the pain. He hooks Dan by the waist. Dan still has Kitty by the waist. Noah reaches back, showing tremendous strength…he lifts Dan up! Dan brings Kitty with him! Noah drops both competitors on their heads with a double German Suplex!!! The crowd is impressed by the feat of strength but unhappy that Dan was dropped on his head~

Smith: Noah Hanson showing all of us what he’s capable of!

Hood: Typical woman…trying to run from her problems rather than face them!

Smith: Uh, no…Kitty was attempting to win the match

~Noah returns to his feet. He spots the prone Mike Harrison. He goes for the pin. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

BROKEN UP

Smith: Dan with the break up!

Hood: Gonna kinda suck trying to get a pinfall inside a cage with three other people

~Noah returns to his feet. He stomps on Dan, keeping the former Paradigm Champion down. He looks to the door but realizes that won’t work. So, he heads for the side of the cage and starts to climb. Dan, covering his stomach, rolls around, giving Noah a head start. Kitty starts to move. She reaches the ropes and uses them to stand. Noah has already started to climb. Petrova hurries over, grabbing Noah’s foot before it’s out of reach. He kicks at her. Dan comes flying into the screen, dropping Kitty via a boot to the back of the head! Petrova’s head smashes into the cage before her body razes to the mat. Dan reaches for Noah, but he’s out of reach. So, Dan begins the climb himself~

Smith: These two men are heading for the top!

Hood: Literally? Metaphorically? WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MAN?

Smith: The literal top of the cage, you moron. They are trying to win

Hood: Let’s hope Dan doesn’t kill Noah while they are up there

Smith: Leave Dan alone!

~Noah reaches the top. He looks down and sees Dan. He’s like “Fuck, really? This guy again!” Noah tries to kick Dan off the side of the cage. Dan punches Noah in the knee…the same knee he rammed into the cage. Noah winces, reaching for the knee, which allows Dan a window to sneak through, reaching the top of the cage. Dan gets to his feet, standing atop the cage. He kicks at Noah, trying to send him crashing to the mat. Noah, seated facing the interior of the cage, leans forward, but manages to hold on. The fans are on their feet…they anticipate – something~

Smith: This never ends well

Hood: I disagree…it sometimes ends well for one person

Smith: Yea, I guess that’s true

~Noah throws a punch into Dan’s knee. A sort of knee quid pro quo. Dan staggers…Noah gets to his feet, eliminating his disadvantage. Dan throws a punch. Noah throws a punch. The crowd holds their breath after every blow. Dan and Noah warp into overdrive – an all-out brawl!! They are an inch to the left…an inch to the right from suffering a terrible and (likely) match ending fall. Dan starts to win the brawl!! The fans are solidly behind him. Noah leans…he wobbles. Dan decides to throw a roundhouse kick…Noah ducks!!! Dan nearly falls from the cage, but manages to keep his feet. Noah reaches out and grabs Dan by the hair. He begins to head butt Dan repeatedly. The fans are stunned by Noah’s dangerously aggressive behavior~

Smith: Noah Hanson is trying to cave Dan’s head in!

Hood: Two men went up…will only one come down?

Smith: I’d assume they’d both come down at some point

Hood: You don’t think OCW would leave the loser up there forever as a symbol of what can go wrong when you climb cages?

Smith: No, Hood – I do not

~Back inside the ring, Kitty is watching what’s going on at the top of the cage. She’s weighing her options. It becomes apparent that the top of the cage is NOT where she wants to be. So, she heads for the door. A hand reaches out, spinning her around. It belongs to Mike Harrison, who is back on his feet. Kitty slaps him hand away and delivers a vicious blow to the side of his head. Harrison staggers. Kitty blows him a kiss. Noah, from the top of the cage, sees her blow the kiss~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: Noah getting jealous?

Smith: Nope…he knows what that blown kiss means

Hood: Well he’d better do something about it!

~Kitty delivers a wicked uppercut!! She’s 2/3 finished with her devastating finisher – Kiss of Death. Noah delivers more head butts to Dan. It becomes apparent if he let Dan go, he’d fall. Kitty runs to the ropes…she spingboards off, spins around in the air and drills Harrison in the head with a flying knee. KISS OF DEATH!!! Harrison is out! Scruff drops to his knees, making the count~

1!

2!

BOOM!!!

Smith: OH MY GOSH!

Hood: Shit!

Smith: Noah just threw Dan from the top of the cage!! He landed a few feet from Scruff, interrupting the count!

Hood: Dan jumped! He was so afraid of Noah that he preferred potential suicide!

Smith: NOT TRUE

~Scruff is startled. He’s on his feet, looking at Dan. Kitty yells ‘COUNT!’ but it appears as though Noah has scared the ‘counting’ out of Scruff. Noah begins to descend outside. He’s got a window! Kitty is furious. She moves to hurt Scruff but realizes she doesn’t have time. She hurries for the door. She yells at Gruff to open the door. Gruff hurries, but he’s having trouble, fumbling around with the lock~

Smith: It’s a race! Noah or Kitty! Who is going to get to the floor first!

Hood: Noah should just let go!

Smith: His knee has taken some punishment, Hood. If he did that he could wind up tearing his ACL, or worse

Hood: HIS LEG COULD FALL OFF?

Smith: Well, no, I was alluding to multiple ligament tears

~Kitty reaches for the door, shaking it. Gruff hasn’t removed the latch yet. Hanson’s feet are just about ‘top buckle’ level. He pauses, checking out his knee. Kitty YELLS at Gruff…she kicks at the door and it flies open!! Gruff tumbles backward. Kitty leaps through the door. Noah lets go of the cage! Kitty hits the floor!! Noah lands on the floor as well! The fans who watched Noah think he won…the fans who watched Kitty think she won. Scruff looks around, trying to figure out what happened~

Smith: Who hit first?

Hood: It was Noah. For sure

Smith: I don’t know, Kitty flew out of that door pretty fast

~The several screens set up throughout Club Space begin to air a replay. We get a full shot of the ringside area to determine who hit first. Kitty heads around the cage to get a look at the biggest screen. Noah gets to his feet, standing near her. All they’re concerned with, at this point, is watching the video~

Smith: Okay…so Kitty jumped before Noah let go…but Noah descended faster. And…

Hood: Slow it down…zoom in on both spots. There it is!

Smith: We have a winner!

~We zoom in to find that Kitty’s second foot hit before Noah’s! They land at the same time but Noah, instinctively protecting the knee that slammed into the cage earlier, had it bent just enough, preventing it from hitting before Kitty’s second foot got down. The crowd pops for the close finish. Belvedere gets on the mic~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the #1 Contender to the OCW Paradigm Championship…KITTY PETROVA!!!!!

Smith: Kitty did it!

Hood: BARELY

Smith: Yes, that was as close as they get but Kitty is the clear winner

~A frustrated Noah spins around and drops Kitty with a huge lariat!! Petrova turns inside out, hitting the ground hard. She was too consumed by the replay and victory to be prepared for Hanson’s lashing out. Noah looks to do more damage, but OCW officials rush out. Noah, with a red and (likely) throbbing forehead, washes his hands of the situation and heads to the back. Kitty is helped to a seated position, holding her throat (which absorbed most of the clothesline). Medics rush into the ring to tend to Dan as the cage starts to lift~

Smith: Kitty Petrova will face the winner of Mack O’Connor and Ed Houston at some point down the line.

Hood: I’d imagine it would be at our next PPV, right?

Smith: That seems logical. Another great showing by Noah…but he came up just short

Hood: Yea, I was hoping he’d pull this one out. Guy is vicious, though…those head butts, man

Smith: Yep…and Dan gave it his all. He just wound up on the wrong end of a cage climb.

Hood: Hey, it happens to the best of us.

~The cage has ascended back up to the rafters as Harrison, exhausted from the match, starts his way down the aisle, heading toward the back.~

Smith: Solid performance tonight by Mike Harrison.

Hood: Well he upset Bester a couple of weeks ago, this kid is going UP!

~Harrison pauses to catch his breath when all of a sudden a figure wearing a hoodie, covering his face, leaps over the barricade, with a baseball bat in hand. The crowd begins to murmur with excitement wondering what is about to happen. Harrison stares at the figure, confused, but too exhausted to react. OCW security, including Knux, makes their way down the ramp to attempt to escort the figure away. Knux puts his hand on the figure’s shoulder and the person immediately swings the bat at Knux’s face!~

Hood: What the fuck is going on? Can’t security EVER STOP RANDOM ATTACKS FROM STRANGERS?!

Smith: An all too familiar scene is unfolding…

~The figure makes quick work of the security team, hitting them all repeatedly with the wooden bat before throwing Knux off the ramp onto the concrete floor by the stage. The figure turns his attention to Harrison, who is now concerned following the assault on the security team. Harrison, mustering all his available strength, goes for a flying forearm smash but the figure side steps and Harrison falls. The figure goes to smash the bat onto Harrison but he rolls away before the bat can connect. Harrison stumbles his way into the ring, avoiding the figure. The figure stops for a moment, twirling the bat around before making his way around the ring. The person takes out a stage hand and begins to lower the cage back down.~

Hood: Man Harrison better get the hell out of there!

Smith: Someone needs to stop this!

Hood: What? The security team got floored, it ain’t stopping!

~The cage slams onto the floor as Harrison attempts to escape through the door but the figure rushes and whacks the door right into Harrison’s face. He tumbles back, rolling to the middle of the ring as the figure enters the structure. Harrison gets up, his face bleeding from the impact of the door, as he stares down the figure. Harrison starts to get fired up, screaming at the figure to reveal themselves. The figure looks at the crowd, as they are pumped up to find out who it could be. The figure drops the bat and takes the hood off.~

Hood: Oh Harrison is FUCKED!

Smith: I thought he wasn’t ready for a return!

Hood: The fucker LIED! He played us all!

~The crowd explodes as standing adjacent from Harrison is OCW Hall of Famer, the Incredible One. A large “TIO” chant echoed throughout Club Space as a stare off between the two wrestlers begin. Harrison runs right to the cage wall, going for a climb, as TIO follows. Harrison plays possum as he makes it half way up the cage only to jump off and do a cross body on TIO! TIO is caught off guard by it as Harrison connects. Harrison grabs the baseball bat TIO brought in and goes to smash it over his head but TIO ducks and hugs his arms around Harrison, sending him over his shoulders, hitting a Belly-to-Belly suplex against the cage wall. TIO grabs Harrison’s hair and drags his head over the steel of the cage, allowing his head to bleed even more. TIO then brings Harrison back to a standing position before kicking him the gut and hoisting him up for a delayed brainbuster. He holds him up for about ten seconds, the crowd growing wilder with each second. The blood from Harrison’s head is dripping down onto TIO’s body. TIO holds him for five more seconds as Harrison begins to come to his senses and tries to break free but TIO finally drops him with a loud thud. Harrison grabs his head in pain, and TIO gives him no break as he brings him back up, hoists him up on his shoulders as he nails the “This Damn Incredible” argentine piledriver.~

Smith: Can we stop this? Harrison just had that grueling match and TIO is continuing the assault.

Hood: Harrison was with CJ and Curt when the three of them took out TIO. He’s just returning the favor!

~TIO gets up, staring at Harrison’s motionless body as the crowd is roaring for the return of the Incredible One. TIO motions for a mic from a stagehand and is passed one through the camera hole of the cage. TIO stands over Harrison’s body as he raises the mic to his mouth.~

TIO: I might have lied at the Hall of Fame ceremony…

~Half the crowd cheers and the other half laugh at TIO’s comments.~

TIO: I said I was going after the OCW Championship, and everyone who stands in my way… well along the way I need to exact some revenge on the three people who took me out. It’s started with Mike Harrison… so I think you all know who the next two are.

~TIO drops the mic as he walks out of the cage. The feed quickly cuts to a shot of CJ O’Donnell and Curt Canon watching a TV backstage of TIO’s assault on Mike Harrison. They both look at each other before walking away as the feed then cuts to ringside.~

~We cut backstage where we see Mario Maurako and Silver Cyanide, slapping each other in the chest and pumping each other up. Mario is clad in red karate-kid style headband and a too-tight red tanktop with a white Superman logo - with an “M” inside as opposed to an “S”. Cyanide is all gussied up in blue and white face paint in the shape of bat wings around his eyes, shirtless and oiled up, wearing arm bands over his biceps with a multitude of blue and white tassels. They stand in front of an absolutely horrendous green screen effect, displaying the Throwback logo in all its delicious 80’s glory.~

Mario: ARE YOU READY TO GO?!

Cyanide: I BELIEVE I AM! I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU ARE ALSO READY TO GO DO THE THING.

Mario: YOU’RE GOSH DARN RIGHT I AM!

~Coming in from just off screen behind Cyanide is a short, roly-poly bald man in a tuxedo. He has a thin mustache on his upper lip and is holding a long, Bob Barker microphone.~

Short Bald Guy: Gentlemen! May I have a moment with you before your match?

~Cyanide turns to acknowledge the man and nearly jumps out of his boots.~

Cyanide: YOU?! I thought you were dead!

Short Bald Guy: No, you’re thinking of the other, meaner 80s interviewer! My name is Nice Jean Oakland!

Cyanide: Well let me tell you somethin’, Nice Jean, get in here and let us serenade your ear holes with our yelling!

~Nice Jean positions himself in between Mario and Cyanide and turns to face the camera. Mario and Cyanide continue bouncing and flexing and Mario does that creepy pec-dance thing with his nipples.~

Nice Jean: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m joined here backstage by Mario Maurako and Silver Cyanide, who together make up the team of the High Impact Express! Gentlemen, you have a big match tonight against none other than The Big Bifford and Ehud of Moab! What on Earth could you strategy be in such a high-stakes battle here at Throwback?!

~Cyanide leans in to the microphone and gives the camera a piercing glare.~

Cyanide: I’ll tell you something about Bifford and Ehud, Nice Jean, and this is what it is! They suck! Their mothers dress them in the morning! I bet they are both communists! Their souls are blacker than Michael Jackson is presently at this point in his life!

~Mario slowly stops posing and furrows his brow as Cyanide continues to talk.~

Cyanide: Bifford’s never kissed a girl! Ehud…I think he was married once! But his wife left him! For Bifford! Whom she didn’t kiss!

Mario: Dude, Cyanide…

~Cyanide is on a roll and can’t stop now.~

Cyanide: Bifford is so fat, he doesn’t tell Yo Mama jokes, he tells My Me jokes! Ehud is so ugly, people look at him and go “wow!”

~Mario reaches over and grabs the microphone away from Cyanide’s lips. Cyanide and Nice Jean stare at him.~

Mario: What kind of lame crap was that? Did you ever even watch 80s wrestling?

Cyanide: Hell, I barely watched wrestling after I joined OCW.

~Mario shakes his head and turns to the camera as it slowly zooms in on him.~

Mario: Bifford…Ehud. Load up the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Where nightmares are the best part of my day. Take control of the airplane, BIG BIF-FORD. Push the control column towards the earth, EHUD. THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN! ALL OF THE FUSES IN THE EXIT SIGNS HAVE BEEN BURNT OUT! DIG YOUR CLAWS INTO MY ORGANS STRETCH INTO MY TENDONS BURY YOUR ANCHORS INTO MY BOOOOOONES!!!!

~Mario falls silent, panting, a vein in his forehead bulging out from under his headband, sweat pouring from his face. The camera zooms out and we see Nice Jean and Cyanide standing to the side, several feet away, physically recoiling from Mario. Mario clears his throat and hands the microphone to Nice Jean, taking a step closer. Both Nice Jean and Cyanide immediately turn and sprint away from him in terror.~

Mario: Oh come on guys, I was being radical!

~We cut back to the announce team~

Smith: And it appears as though Mario and AgCN are ready

Hood: I heard Ehud is in the parking lot. People are optimistic that he'll reach the arena in time for his match

Smith: That match will air later tonight. However...speaking of tag competition...we've got the first of three tag maatches ready to go! This one, with the weirdest stipulation in OCW history, features three Hall of Famers and OCW's Ironman. All four men are vying to be recognized as the new tag team champions. Let's head down to ringside for the action!

Tag Team Match
Fast Times at Ridgemont High Match
CJ O’Donnell & Curt Canon vs. Bob Grenier & Chad Vargas

~Club Space is dancing and acting in a frenzied manner as “Obsession” by Animotion blasts throughout the venue! The night is young and these fans are enjoying themselves! A man dressed as ALF is seen grinding all up on a woman dressed as Cyndi Lauper – who seems to be enjoying it! The song comes to a halt. We quickly cut away as, thankfully, Belvedere clears his throat. The crowd goes wild, ready for some in ring action~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a tag team match and it will be held under Fast Times at Ridgemont High rules!! Both teams will be given a generous bowl of marijuana. In order to win the match you must finish the entire bowl! Introducing first…

~“Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The entirety of Club Space boos the arrival of ‘The Distinguished’. CJ emerges from behind the curtain looking ready for combat. He soaks in the hate which acts as fuel motivating the man to be the best. He heads down the aisle way, arms outstretched which only draws more heat. A fan yells at him…CJ pauses and looks the fan in the eye. CJ laughs and continues heading to the ring, finding the fan to be pathetic. He hustles up the steps and enters into the ring~

Belvedere: From Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is a former OCW Tag Team Champion… “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!

~“Figure 8” by Trust Company hits! An initial pop fills the venue…that is until the fans remember who Canon has aligned himself with, recently. Canon pops through the curtain and the cheers slowly turn to boos. He’s got CHECKERS on his shoulder. Canon sprints down the aisle way…he reaches the ring…Checkers leaps off his shoulder and onto the ring post, climbing to the top where he takes a seat. Canon slides in under the bottom rope, kips up and smiles for the camera. The boos online increase once the fans get the visual of Canon and CJ together~

Belvedere: And his tag team partner…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is Curt Canon!!!

Smith: Interesting match concept concocted by our new General Manager

Hood: It’s ludicrous!

Smith: I have to think CJ and Canon are agitated by this stipulation. It gives a clear advantage to Bob Grenier

Hood: No shit…Bob will devour that bowl within a minute

Belvedere: And, their opponents…

Where the hood...

Where the hood…

Where the hood at…

~Grenier steps out from behind the curtain to a huge ovation!! He licks his lips while staring at the ring…there is a voracious hunger embedded within his stone sober eyes. He marches toward the ring and begins to circle the square. He grows impatient…he yells out “WHERE IS IT?!” Bob pauses, looking up at Belvedere with his arms outstretched~

Belvedere: From Timmins, Ontario, Candada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs…he is a former OCW Champion and an OCW Hall of Famer…he is…Bob Grenier!!!

~ “Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits! The increasingly popular VARGAS POP ensues as Chad fucking Vargas emerges from behind the curtain. He talks shit to the fans as he makes his way down the aisle. The fans don’t seem offended or butthurt in anyway…they seem to LOVE having Vargas talk shit right to their faces. Vargas reaches the ringside area and locates a very confused Bob Grenier. “WHERE’S THE WEED?” he asks Chad. Vargas shrugs while keeping his focus on CJ and Canon…and Checkers~

Belvedere: And his tag team partner, from Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is a former OCW Champion and an OCW Hall of Famer…he is “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!

Smith: Bob Grenier doesn’t see any illegal substances and, therefore, is disappointed

Hood: Did the stipulation get cancelled?

Smith: I don’t think so, Hood

~Arguably the loudest pop of the evening takes place when two OCW employees rush down to the ring carrying a bowl of marijuana. Grenier’s eyes light up. Belvedere leans over the rope informing Bob that he has to wait until the bell rings before smoking. Bob’s shoulders slump. We see two statues brought forth from the back, as well. They are placed outside the ring, behind the post belonging to the corner of each team. They are both a statue of UBER MAN! The crowd pops with an “UBER” chant. Uber’s hands are extended providing a perfect platform to place a generous sized bowl full of marijuana along with a pipe. Grenier and Chad’s pipe is a mixture of green and orange. CJ and Canon’s pipe is a mixture of blue and green. The OCW employees exit now that the contraband is in place. Scruff motion for Bob and Chad to enter the ring. Chad starts to enter but has to grab Bob and pull him away from the marijuana~

Smith: This might be the least focused Bob has been during his entire OCW career

Hood: And just think…right now is likely the most focused he’ll be all match!

Smith: Yes, you are unfortunately correct

~The bell rings as Belvedere exits the ring. Vargas and Grenier confer while overlooking the marijuana. Canon and CJ do the same~

Smith: So, how does a team go about tackling this strange task? Do they share the substance? Or, does one person bite the bullet ensuring the other member will remain fully sober

Hood: Damn…that is a tough choice.

Smith: A surprisingly high mental hurdle given the sophomoric nature of this stipulation

~CJ doesn’t seem too eager to smoke the marijuana. Curt argues back, “It killed Uber and he was bigger than I am!” CJ responds that somebody has to do it. Meanwhile, Bob is already out of the ring, packing the team colored pipe, getting ready to pound back a good portion of their stash. Canon steps through the ropes and says, “I’ll take care of this.” CJ remains in the ring…he locks eyes with Vargas, who is flashing an eager grin. The two men circle one another surrounded by a hot crowd~

Smith: There is absolute no love lost between these two men

Hood: Vargas hates CJ. CJ doesn’t think much of Vargas. It’s the perfect recipe for in ring mayhem

Smith: Meanwhile, Bob is smoking away on the outside of the ring. Canon seems to be having words with…Checkers.

Hood: That’s probably the only man and monkey pairing where the monkey has more brains than the man

~CJ and Vargas lock up like two bulls going to war over the fine, round ass of the prettiest cow in the field. It’s a metaphor made for Chad Vargas! Vargas uses his strength to bully CJ back, toward the ropes. CJ, sensing he’s getting close to the ropes, shifts his position by slipping free, dropping down and hooking Vargas around the waist. Vargas, leaning against the ropes, sees Checkers stuffing a handful of weed into his mouth. He tries to object by CJ slaps on a sleeper!!! Vargas stumbles backward, trying to get CJ off him. Canon, on the apron, realizes Vargas saw Checkers eating their weed. He turns and snaps at Checkers, ordering him to get away from the scene of the crime. Checkers does. Scruff rushes over to check on what’s going on but sees nothing objectionable. Bob, meanwhile, is sucking back the final few tokes belonging to his first pipe load. He exhales and leans back against the barricade, loving life~

Smith: CJ with a sleeper hold applied…somewhat ironic given the conditions of this match

Hood: The monkey is eating the weed!

Smith: Huh?

Hood: Don’t tell me you didn’t see that!

Smith: I’m sorry, Hood. But I’m watching the action INSIDE the ring

~Vargas backs into a corner, squashing CJ between his weight and the unyielding buckles. CJ’s grip breaks. Vargas charges forward…he turns around and sprints at CJ, slamming into O’Donnell with a huge clothesline!! Vargas doesn’t relent…he snares CJ and tosses him into the middle of the ring with a modified/sloppy hip toss! CJ hits hard, arching his back in pain. Vargas heads toward his corner and yells out, “Yo, Bob! You want to take in?” Bob shakes his head ‘no’ while packing another pipe. Vargas chuckles, “Might as well finish the whole fucking thing while you’re out there. I got this!” Vargas turns around and is met with a vicious superkick!!! He falls to the mat, holding his chin. Curt hops up and down on the apron acting abnormally crazy. Behind him we see Checkers eating more weed~

Smith: A very strange match…Vargas took his attention off CJ for a moment giving The Distinguished the window of opportunity he needed

Hood: Meanwhile Canon is acting like a goof to conceal their plan…sacrificing Checkers in an effort to win a fucking tag match

Smith: Standing up for simian rights?

Hood: No way. If you shoot blanks that’s your problem, not mine.

~CJ kicks Vargas in the face, keeping The Confederate Icon lessened. He yanks Vargas to his feet and whips him into his team’s corner. Vargas hits HARD. CJ gets in Scruff’s face arguing about the moronic stipulation. Scruff shrugs. Meanwhile, Canon starts to choke Chad with the tag rope!! Vargas coughs…his face turns red, he kicks his legs! The fans BOOOO. Scruff turns around to see what’s going on…Canon releases the choke! Scruff spots Vargas hunched in the corner, holding his throat. He’s curious but there isn’t enough to warrant any sort of action. CJ pushes Scruff aside and charges forward, drilling Vargas in the head with a V-Trigger Knee! He reaches over and tags Canon into the match. Checkers stumbles up the ring steps and takes a seat against the ring post. We notice half the stash is gone. CJ looks down at Checkers and asks, “What’s the fucking problem?!” Checkers reaches for his stomach and shakes his head indicating he can’t eat anymore. CJ snaps his fingers and points at the contraband. Checkers pulls his slovenly posture away from the post and down the steps…he wobbles and staggers toward the remaining stash. Grenier, meanwhile, packs a third bowl, bringing their stash to equal status as CJ and Canons~

Smith: Checkers seems ill

Hood: That’s because he’s eaten half their weed! What’s amazing to me is that Bob is smoking it about as fast as Checkers is eating it

Smith: So you’re saying Checkers is EATING the weed?

Hood: YES! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING?

Smith: My view has been clouded by smoke!

~Canon straightens Vargas up in their corner and delivers a vicious knife edged chop!! The smack echoes throughout Club Space. Canon reaches back and delivers a second knife edged chop!! Vargas stands upright! Canon is taken aback. He fires off a third knife edged chop! Vargas steps toward Canon and yells, “HIT ME AGAIN YOU FUCKING PUSSY!” Canon reaches back and flings his arm forward as hard as he can for a fourth knife edged chop! Vargas ducks it and lifts Curt up…he plans Canon in the middle of the ring with a Spinebuster!!! The crowd goes wild!! Vargas remains on the mat, holding his chest. CJ, looking anxious, peeks over his shoulder and spots Checkers wolfing down some more marijuana. Bob, meanwhile, is packing his fourth bowl~

Smith: Two more mini bowls and Bob will be finished with their stash

Hood: Guy is going through that shit like good ole southern boy goes through his grandfather’s moonshine

Smith: I wouldn’t know

Hood: Hence the extreme lack of hair on your bald, smooth, WEAK ASS chest

~Vargas returns to his feet and stomps on Canon, keeping the diminutive legend on the mat. He yanks Curt to his feet and hoists him over his shoulder. Vargas backs into a corner, marches forward and drills Curt into the mat with a powerslam!! Chad returns to his feet to find Bob packing his fifth bowl. “HOW MUCH MORE YA GOT LEFT?” Bob inhales deeply and exhales a bunch of O’s. He holds up his index finger. “Well hurry the fuck up! I know I can beat these two fuckers by myself but some help would be nice!” Checkers, meanwhile, staggers up the ring steps and reclaims his seat against the ring post. CJ looks at their stash and notices Bob has passed them up. He nudges Checkers with his foot. Checkers waves his hands in a slovenly manner, begging CJ to leave him alone. Chad goes back after Canon. He yanks Canon up and whips him into a corner. Canon hits hard. Vargas charges in but eats a boot to the face. He stumbles back…Canon hops onto the middle rope and leaps off placing both knees into Chad’s chest and taking him down, to the mat!! Vargas hits hard, and reaches for his chest, in pain. Canon rolls off of Vargas and winds up on his stomach, looking over at CJ and Checkers arguing~

Smith: Normally I would never urge someone to put contraband in their system…but CJ or Curt might need to take one for the team

Hood: This match should already be over…they have clearly broken the rules

Smith: I can’t really argue that…although, I’m not really clear on the rules, to be honest. Is that illegal?

Hood: Hell yes it’s illegal! The whole points is to fuck, at least, half the team up making the match that much more difficult. As it stands right now CJ and Canon are lucid whereas Vargas and Grenier are 50% handicapped.

~Checkers acquiesces and staggers down the steps. He misses the final step completely and face plants. He crawls toward the Uber statue. Canon reaches his corner and pulls himself to a standing position. He asks CJ what’s going on. CJ reaches in and slaps Canon on the back, tagging in. He goes after Vargas, who is seated up, facing away. CJ runs forward and soccer kicks Vargas in the back! Chad gets to his feet, arching his back in pain. He turns around and eats a few jabs to the jaw. Vargas stumbles into a corner. CJ throws some kicks into Chad’s midsection. He grabs Chad’s arm and acts like he’s going to whip him across the ring…instead, however, he takes Vargas down with a short arm clothesline!! Canon looks over at Checkers, concerned…CJ notices Canon’s concern and hustles over, tagging Canon back into the match~

Smith: CJ is trying to keep Curt’s mind off of Checkers’ dilemma

Hood: No shit, it’s smart strategy. He’s trying to win the match, no matter the cost. Curt, however, has…for some weird fucking reason, a major attachment to that stupid monkey

Smith: It’s his pet!

Hood: Why? Was a fucking dog not good enough?

~Curt steps into the ring. He’s distracted. CJ reassures him. Curt goes after Vargas, who is trying to sit up. Curt performs a standing Shooting Star Press! This flattens Vargas back out. Bob is loading his last bowl. Checkers, back on his tiny feet, consumes as much as his mouth will hold. One pipe’s worth of marijuana remains in the bowl. Checkers swallows what’s in his mouth…he dry heaves…he spins around and suddenly collapses to the ground. CJ is like ‘oh shit.’ Curt is unaware. He’s on his knees pummeling Vargas in the head with right hands. Bob sucks back as much as his lungs will allow. The crowd is chanting “BOB! BOB! BOB!”~

Smith: Once Bob is done with that pipe then his team will be eligible to win

Hood: Yea and Checkers is dead

Smith: I certainly hope not!

Hood: Guy just ingested, like 30% of his body weight in marijuana. If Uber OD’d on this shit then you know Checkers is done for

~Grenier finishes his smoke. The bowl is empty. He yells at Scruff who signals that they can now attempt to win the match! Grenier throws the pipe into the crowd and stumbles up the ring steps, outstretching his arm for a tag. Curt, realizing what’s taking place, snares Vargas in a chin lock. The crowd stomps their feet, eager for Vargas to make the tag. CJ looks at Checkers, who appears to be dead. He sees they have some marijuana left. He contemplates an action. Vargas fights to his feet…Curt wraps his legs around Chad’s waist, trying to prevent him from making the tag. Vargas jumps into the air and lands flat on his back, squashing Curt into the mat!!! Curt releases his hold! Both men are down…the crowd is urging Vargas to make the tag. Canon, groaning in pain, begins to crawl toward CJ. CJ realizes he can’t act on the remaining marijuana…a potential tag is more important at this point. Vargas remains on his back~

Smith: If Vargas makes the tag they will have a huge advantage!

Hood: How the fuck is Bob standing?!

Smith: I’ve always heard that, for some people, narcotics act as energy

Hood: I guess…guy looks more alive than I can remember…albeit with half open, bloodshot eyes

~Canon nears the corner. Vargas finally begins to move. Bob yells out “C’MON, CHAD!” As he does we see a giant cloud of smoke filter from his mouth as though he were speaking in subzero temperatures. Vargas shakes his head and looks over at his squinty, red eyed partner. He attempts to get to his feet…it’s a struggle. Canon reaches out and tags CJ!! The crowd urges Chad to hurry up. Vargas gets to one knee. CJ sprints for him, reaching out to grab Vargas…Vargas lunges forward and makes the tag!! The crowd goes wild!! Bob steps into the ring! CJ straightens up, stunned to see such life and vigor in a man who is so clearly stoned off his ass. Grenier takes advantage of the nonplussed O’Donnell and begins to pepper him with rights and lefts!! CJ staggers into the ropes! The crowd is going wild. Bob whips CJ off the ropes…CJ reverses…Bob hits the ropes…CJ throws a spinning heel kick…Bob catches CJ’s leg, brings him in and tosses CJ over his head with a Capture Suplex!! CJ hits hard! The crowd is going wild!! Grenier pops back to his feet, fired up~

Smith: Unbelievable! Bob seems to be drawing energy from the marijuana!

Hood: I’ve never seen anything like it

Smith: I’ve never done illegal drugs…but I’ve always been led to believe that this stuff makes people sleepy, unmotivated, and hungry

Hood: It’s made Bob hungry, alright. Hungry for victory!

Smith: I’m not going to say it…but you know what I’m thinking

Hood: Yes, I know. Cheesiest line of the night

~Bob snares CJ by the hair and hoists him up, over his shoulder. He leaps into the air and drops CJ head first into the mat with a jumping tombstone piledriver!!! CJ appears to be done. Bob pops back to his feet and yells ‘FUCKIN EH!’ Smoke ejaculates from his throat, filtering out into the ether of Club Space. The fans appreciate his TOKEn attempt at sharing. Vargas extends his arm and yells, “TAG ME IN SO I CAN PIN THE FUCKER!” Bob, not one to deny THE CONFEDERATE ICON, when he’s feeling extra southern, obliges. He hustles over and makes the tag~

Smith: Chad Vargas wants to claim victory over CJ!

Hood: On a scale of 1 to AIDS…I’d say the blood between Vargas and CJ is most definitely AIDS

Smith: If you say so

~Chad enters into the ring. Bob remains in the ring. He’s got an idea. A marijuana induced concept. Oh no. Bob heads toward CJ and says something we can’t make out due to his hideous Canadian accent fucking up perfectly good English. Vargas shrugs and says “Sure, man.” Grenier turns his focus back on the very dangerous CJ O’Donnell. CJ head butts Bob in the groin!!! Bob stumbles back, into Chad. CJ returns to his feet and leaps in the air with a knee…he cracks Bob in the jaw!!! Grenier falls to the side, through the ropes, landing roughly. He’s near CHECKERS. Vargas looks around, processing what’s happened. He frowns and goes after CJ. O’Donnell backs up, hands up, asking Chad to slow down – take it easy on him. Vargas is known for many things…mercy is not one of those things. He grabs CJ by the throat. CJ reaches back, trying to tag Canon (who is just out of reach). Canon hops up onto the top rope and springboards off, dropkicking Chad in the face! Vargas hits the mat, releasing CJ. The fans boo heavily. Canon rolls out of the ring, quickly. Scruff hustles over, yelling at the former champion~

Smith: Disqualify them, Scruff!

Hood: Seriously? That was clearly inadvertent

Smith: And you’re asking if I’m being serious? Give me a BREAK

~Canon pleads with Scruff to let it go. Scruff, realizing this is Throwback, allows the illegal act to slide. Canon puts his hands together, bows and says, “You the man.” As he bows, he spots something out of the corner of his eye. He steps over Bob’s motionless body and looks down at Checkers. He taps Checkers with his boot…he drops to one knee, shaking the little guy. Meanwhile, CJ has his knee lodged in the throat of Vargas, choking him out. He yells from the ring, “We gotta finish that bowl off!” Canon seems more concerned with Checkers~

Smith: Strange situation…CJ and Canon are in total control but, given this stipulation, are unable to win this match

Hood: Canon’s gonna have to get the fuck over Checkers and do some drugs

Smith: That is one strange sentence

~Canon performs some impromptu CPR. He must have been a lifeguard during the summer. He starts to perform mouth to mouth…fortunately for all of us watching at home, Checkers begins to cough. Canon looks relieved. He sits Checkers up, patting him on the back. Checkers looks over at Canon with bloodshot eyes. He smiles. Canon’s eyes well up. The love of his simian has brought him to the brink of tears. Checkers, though, wasn’t smiling at Canon. He hops up and crawls over Canon, leaping into the crowd and diving right into a giant tub of popcorn~

Smith: Now that’s what a person on drugs is supposed to act like…at least, from what I’ve been told.

Hood: Stupid monkey. I would have gone for the nachos

Smith: I don’t think he had much of a choice, Hood. He appeared to be acting on instinct

~Canon isn’t too heavily impacted. He’s just happy his friend is alive. Canon stands and spots the remaining marijuana. CJ, with his knee still in Chad’s throat, yells, “WE GOTTA FINISH THAT SHIT!” He shakes his head, looks at the mat and says at a much lower volume, “Fucking Zybala.” Vargas, finally have had enough of a grown man’s knee being lodged into his windpipe, reaches up and thumbs CJ in the eye! CJ pops to his feet and reaches for his face. Vargas, coughing, rolls over and crawls into a corner, pulling himself to his feet. Canon snares their team colored pipe and starts packing it. He reaches for a lighter. He looks over at Bob who is still maybe, possibly dead. Canon begins to lighting the remaining remnants of marijuana~

Smith: Once he finishes that portion of contraband their team will be eligible to win this match

Hood: Who do you think is a bigger lightweight…Canon or Checkers?

Smith: I couldn’t care less

Hood: Dude! I’m dissecting the intricacies of this complex situation! I’m doing my job and you’re going to slough me off?

Smith: If drugs are the only thing that motivates you to do your job then, well, perhaps you’re in the wrong profession

~The contraband is lit! Canon eyes the pipe – he doesn’t appear to be fully onboard. However, he did go for a trial run in his apartment late last week. A trail of smoke, as if magnetically possessed, slithers down to Bob. It tickles his nose. Bob’s eyes suddenly open! He kips up!! The fans go wild! Canon is stunned. Bob rips the pipe from Canon’s hand and inhales as hard as he can!! The entire bowl of weed is torched!!! Grenier’s eyes widen and redden, simultaneously. He lets out an “OH YEA THAT’S FOOKIN GREAT!!” A giant cloud of smoke puffs in Canon’s direction. Canon dodges it and throws a punch at a seemingly prone Bob. Bob blocks the punch!!! Canon staggers back! Bob throws the pipe away and points at Canon!! The crowd yells “YOU!”~

Smith: Bob is firing up!! Some might say he’s displaying HULK like tendencies!

Hood: How apropos! However, I’d like to call it Blazing Up!! Or Blazed…yes, he’s BLAZED

Smith: Hey, between the two of us, I’m going to assume you’re the expert

~Canon’s seen this before. He turns and runs! The crowd BOOOOS! Blazed Bob hops onto the apron and leaps over the top rope. He charges at CJ and clotheslines him over the top rope, to the outside!!! CJ hits hard. Canon hurries over, checking on his partner. Vargas returns to his feet and observes his partner. Blazed Bob has smoke coming out of his mouth and nose! He turns and gives Chad a pat on the chest before flexing for the crowd! The crowd is going wild! Vargas quickly does the math, “You smoke their fucking weed, didn’t you?” Bob stops flexing and nods, “FOOKIN RIGHT!” Vargas doesn’t seem too pleased but he’s not going to fuck with Blazed Bob. CJ and Canon reach their feet on the outside. Vargas notices and points this out at Bob. Bob takes off, hitting the ropes. Vargas shakes his head, saying, “Fucking hell.” He, too, hits the ropes in an attempt to be a good partner. Both men charge toward the edge of the ring and dive through the ropes with stereo tope suicidas!!! The crowd gets even wilder (if that’s possible). Blazed Bob is quick to return to his feet. Vargas moves a little slower. The two men bump fists~

Smith: CJ and Canon are in serious trouble!

Hood: Holy shit! For all future Grenier opponents…take note and demand that he get piss tested before your match. Blazed Bob is one hell of a competitor!

Smith: It’s certainly generated a unique level of resilience.

~Blazed Bob throws Canon into the ring! He slides in and goes for a pin. Scruff refuses to count. Grenier looks up like ‘What the hell, man?!’ Scruff notes that neither man currently in the ring is the legal man~

Smith: Scruff capriciously enforcing the rules

Hood: Hey! We can’t let wrestlers do illegal things in their matches. It would ruin our credibility

Smith: Weird hearing that after everything we’ve witnessed in this match.

Hood: Classic OCW, Baby!

~Vargas throws his arms up. “Fucking stoned idiot,” he says while grabbing CJ. CJ sits out, smacking Vargas’ mouth shut with a jawbreaker!!! Vargas stumbles back, against the steps. Blazed Bob hears this loud THUD! He pops to his feet and begins shaking the ropes! Canon returns to his feet…he hits the ropes, bounces off and dropkicks Blazed Bob in the back!! Blazed Bob flips over the top rope and lands roughly on the outside. The crowd boos! CJ and Canon stand back, awaiting some type of miraculous recovery…however, Blazed Bob appears to have been extinguished~

Smith: And I think plain, old Bob is back

Hood: It was nice seeing you, Blazed Bob. Thanks for passing thru!

~Canon slides outside. CJ looks at both Bob and Vargas. “Which one of these fuckers is legal?” Canon shrugs, “I don’t know…this match is insane. It’s hard to keep up with what’s going on!” Canon and CJ pause before saying, simultaneously, “Fucking Zybala.” Canon avoids touching Bob and goes after Vargas. He positions Vargas against the steel steps…CJ charges forward and delivers IRISH KNOWLEDGE into the side of Chad’s head, crushing it into the steps!! The top tier of steps flips over, slamming into the barricade. CJ holds his knee, rolling around. Canon pulls Vargas up and tosses him into the ring. He heads over to CJ who says, “I think those things are almost as hard as Mac’s fucking head!”~

Smith: Vargas, the legal man, is out! CJ and Canon could win this right here!

Hood: Oh hell yea! SUCK IT ZYBALA

~Canon helps CJ to his feet. CJ is sporting a pretty good limp. Canon helps CJ roll into the ring. Canon tries to get on the apron but he’s grabbed by Bob. Bob doesn’t look great, but he’s hanging in there. Canon tries to kick Bob off. Bob, holding onto Canon’s leg, pushes backward…Curt loses his balance and falls into the pair of ring steps in their corner!! The back of his head slams into them due to the uncontrolled fall. Grenier rolls over and stares at the ceiling in an apparent mesmerized state. Scruff hops out of the ring, checking on Canon~

Smith: Scruff checking on Canon, for some reason

Hood: Because he is a good, kind man you heartless mother fucker

Smith: I am not the one who is heartless!

~CJ stands over Vargas…he feels his knee, checking it’s stability. He backs against the ropes, looking to hit one more Irish Knowledge. It probably isn’t necessary but it’s what he wants to do…he, like Vargas, is more concerned with hurting his opponent than winning the match. Vargas slowly gets to his feet…CJ is about to take off when, out of nowhere the back of his knee gets clipped!!! CJ falls to the mat, holding his leg. The crowd goes wild when they see TIO hop onto the apron, holding a bat. He drops the bat and steps into the ring. CJ is holding his knee and slamming his fist into the mat~

Smith: It’s TIO!!! We saw him dispose of Harrison earlier and now he’s getting revenge on CJ!

Hood: And the man wonders why he has no family left. What a jerk!

Smith: Totally out of line, Hood!

~CJ finally sees TIO. He can’t get up…his knee is too damaged. He looks up at TIO and says, with 100% defiance, “Fuck You!” TIO snatches CJ, picking him off the mat and delivers a thunderous That Damn Incredible!!! CJ’s head slams into the mat, bending his neck at an awkward angle. TIO pops back to his feet, yelling at CJ’s unconscious body. Vargas is on his feet. He looks at TIO. TIO looks back at Chad~

Smith: Are these two going to go at it? They had some epic matches back in 2017!

Hood: Vargas owes TIO, I know that much

Smith: TIO won those matches fair and square

Hood: That’s not what Chad told me!

~Nobody is sure what’s going to happen. Vargas steps up to TIO. TIO doesn’t back down. Vargas reaches out and pats TIO on the shoulder, “Thanks.” TIO doesn’t respond. He exits the ring. Vargas says, “Decent guy for a fucking canuck.” TIO helps Bob to his feet. Bob tries to speak…smoke comes out. TIO inhales it, closing his eyes. He, like Vargas, pats Bob on the shoulder, “Much appreciated.”~

Smith: Bob and TIO just shared a metaphorical smoke!

Hood: That’s probably about as close as I’d prefer to see two men get

Smith: Homophobe

Hood: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with male on male action. Unless you’re heterosexual…and, well, then it becomes just about the most disgusting thing you could lay your eyes upon.

~Vargas pulls CJ up and drops him down with THE STROKE!!! He makes the cover. Scruff eyes TIO suspiciously. TIO motions for him to do his job. Scruff, perhaps remembering the leeway he gave Canon earlier in the match, let’s this potential violation slide. He returns to the ring and makes the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here are your winners…the team of…BOB GRENIER AND CHAD VARGAS!!!!!

Smith: They did it! Grenier and Vargas attained a huge victory over CJ and Curt!

Hood: It’s hard to win when you’re up against 3 men.

Smith: There may have been a little assistance offered by The Incredible One

Hood: A little? Boy, you’re something

~Canon starts to come to. He looks into the ring and realizes what’s happened. TIO spots Curt and reaches under the ring, snaring a chair! The crowd goes wild. Curt hustles up the aisle way, away from TIO. TIO gives chase, holding the chair. Grenier enters the ring as medics rush in to look at CJ. Grenier and Vargas shake hands. Grenier heads for a corner, he climbs and holds his arms up in celebration. He looks down at the Uber statue and gives it a good, old Canadian salute. Vargas waits for him to get down~

Smith: Grenier may have inadvertently killed Uber Man at Death March…but I get a feeling that, tonight, Uber was in their corner

Hood: Well a literal statue in his likeness was there, I know that much

~Grenier hops off the buckles. He looks at Chad and says, “I’m fucking starving.” Chad replies, “Yea, I’m not surprised. Let’s go hit up Dennys.” Grenier shakes his head, “No.” Vargas responds, “You better not say the fucking Olive Garden.” Grenier reaches out and grabs Vargas by the arm, in a friendly manner, “Waffle House.” Vargas smiles, “Right on!” The duo exits the ring in pursuit of the nearest Waffle House~

Smith: And the two victorious legends are off to score some cheap, greasy food

Hood: Classic OCW…baby

Smith: Yes, this entire match is a prime example of what you get when you tune into an OCW production. But, don’t worry die hards…there will be plenty for you guys later on this evening!

~Static can be heard from the feed. When the scene comes in clearer, the figure of Carlton Walsh comes into focus. He is pacing, cages surrounding him. His trademark Singapore Cane in hand, it was as if he was looking for a particular cage. He weaved in and out until he heard what he needed to hear and followed the noises. He found the cage he was looking for and the demon-like smile crept along his face at the noises he had heard coming through the air~

"You see, life is all about making choices. Good, bad or indifferent. You keep things hidden, locked away not wanting to show them. You try to change, expecting the outcome to be different when really you need to stay the same. You can win matches without weapons, but your true calling is the darkness. Your true calling is the blood and violence. You have proven to me that you are able to survive in both realms. Stand up."

~The camera flips and you can tell that the figure standing was that of Dazi Miyashita, black hair clad in a ponytail. When she turned around, a bloodied body was weakly moving in the corner, her body and face covered in blood. She stood there, motionless and without a word at that moment~

"OCW, this was not meant to happen this early. The demonic icon was not to be released this early. Yet that stupid little bitch Veronica Taylor...she decided to take it upon herself to attempt to make a name off of the back of Dazielle. She decided to practically ruin the hard work that we had done to get her on track. I do not take kindly to having my hard work ruined...and be lucky that little girl is not facing me. Be lucky that I, Carlton Walsh am just a manager because I will end the career of that priss before it starts. No, I leave the career ending and the violence to her, for Veronica is not a smart woman.”

“She is weak, void of all concept of reality.”

~He looked over, the smirk now on Dazi’s face as she rubbed her jaw~

“You know little troll, you claim that I got in your way. Your way to what? Sleeping your way to the top? This is wrestling, not the street corner. My world is vastly different than yours. You actually got in my way when I was on track to head for a title. I was going to do it without having to make people suffer...but then you came along. As I was sitting in that hospital bed getting checked for a concussion all I could think of was ending your existence. Now? I get that chance.”

~He unlocked the cage. She slowly walked out, the blood dripping from her hands. She started chuckling as he wrapped an arm around her, casually smirking~

“Veronica Taylor, enjoy breathing. Enjoy the little things like walking. When I return to an OCW ring? It will not be as The Icon...no no, you do not deserve a standard wrestling match. It will be as The Demonic Icon. You have flipped a switch OCW was not prepared for and now little girl?”

“You burn like the rest.”

~The scene slowly fades out, wicked laughter being heard as the pair started slowly walking away~

Smith: I'm told that Dazi will face Veronica Taylor next week at Massacre

Hood: And, from the sounds of what she just said...it will be brutal

Smith: Indeed...Veronica attacked Dazi last week, preventing her from competing. So, some payback is owed. Next up, however, we've got more tag team action! Lurrr makes his return to team with PerZag as they battle the unlikely duo of Alice Knight and Roach!

Tag Team Match
Scaffold Match
Alice Knight & Roach vs. Lurrr & PerZag

~Club Space is bouncing to the tune of “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins! There may or may not be a few scientologists in the crowd dressed as MAVERICK. In fact, all the people in Top Gun cosplay are doing a limbo to the song…weird, huh? Maybe COCKTAIL inspired the limbo…six degrees of Cruiseology or something. The limbo is going great until a guy dressed as Goose SMASHES his head into the bar, falling to the ground. The music comes to a screeching halt as Belvedere clears his throat. Instantly everyone forgets about Goose~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following is a Scaffold tag team match!! In order to win both members of a team must be thrown from the Scaffold. Both teams will begin in the ring and must climb atop the Scaffold if they hope to throw both members of a team from the Scaffold and win the match.

Smith: Sounds simple enough

Hood: Yea, right

Belvedere: Introducing first…

~The Michael Myers theme begins to play. The fans give a somewhat mixed reaction…although boos seem to be prevailing over cheers. ROACH emerges from behind the 80’s themed curtain sporting his Myers mask. Several fans in the audience yell out ‘THAT MOVIE IS FROM THE 70S!” Another fan shouts “GET A HOCKEY MASK! YOU’RE RUINING THE THEME!” Roach grabs this fan by the throat and hurls him several rows deep…he lands next to the injured GOOSE fan. The pedantic fans comprising the front row quickly change their tune, “Michael Myers is BOSS!” “Yo, I loved Halloween four and that shit was in the 80s!” Roach heads to the ring~

Belvedere: From Windsor, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 265lbs…Roach!!!

~”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy hits and the crowd LOSES THEIR SHIT. All the fans dressed as Maverick rush to the aisle way to get a closer look at the HEART AND SOUL OF OCW. A loud HOOT sounds throughout Club Space…probably the first and last time that will ever happen. Alice Knight peeks from behind the curtain…she disappears. She then bursts out to a huge ovation!! She flaps her ‘wings’ and hoots! The entire crowd flaps their ‘wings’ in unison, hooting like it’s a completely normal thing to do. Owlis pretends to ‘fly’ to the ring by flapping her ‘wings’ like crazy. Roach turns his back to the entire ordeal, shaking his head. Alice takes a step up and flaps her wings…she takes another step up, flapping her wings…she takes a third step up, flapping her wings..the crowd is counting along…she takes a fourth step up, onto the apron, flapping her wings…the crowd goes “oooohhhhhhhhhhhhh…” in anticipation…Alice steps into the ring and runs around, flapping her wings…the crowd yells out “HOOOOOOOT!” with a huge ovation following. It’s a scene, man~

Belvedere: From Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Champion and a current member of the OCW Hall of Fame…she is…Alice Knight!!!

Smith: What a moment! It’s going to be hard to top this moment for MOMENT OF THE YEAR

Hood: That category does not exist

Smith: Well, it should!

Hood: No comment

~Alice ceases her wing flapping and pats Roach on the back, laughing. The crowd continues to HOOT. Roach jerks his shoulder away. Alice places her hands on her hips and does a ‘grumpy’ face. The crowd laughs~

Smith: Hopefully this team doesn’t implode

Hood: Hopefully it does! Roach should just kill her and walk out, letting PerZag and Lurrr know that they owe him

Smith: That would be tragic

Belvedere: And, their opponents…

~“Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor hits! The place wants to boo…but they simply can’t…not in a club…not in a club with THIS SONG PLAYING. They sing along as the former OCW Champion, PerZag emerges from behind the curtain. Slowly, he makes his way to the ring, glaring at Alice. He mutters something along the lines of “I Hate You.” Alice doesn’t seem to understand what he’s saying. PerZag reaches the ring and stops, smart enough to know that only a fool would rush in~

Belvedere: From Benalla, Victoria, Australia…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…PerZag!!!

Smith: PerZag has looked great since returning at Death March. He made it to the final match that evening and followed that showing up by defeating Brianna Casablancas

Hood: And now he’s got LURRR out of retirement…maybe the biggest victory of his career

Smith: Well, we’ll see how that pans out…you know if they lose, it won’t be Lurrr’s fault…at least, according to Lurrr.

Belvedere: And, his tag team partner…

GUESS WHO’S BACK

Smith: It appears as though he’s really here!

Hood: Of course he’s here, you moron! If Lurrr says he’s going to do something…he’s going to do it

Smith: I just didn’t think we’d ever see him compete again.

Hood: He’s a professional wrestler, Smith. He’s doomed to compete until he dies

I used to be broke, confused..no joke
Got used, smoked dope, paid dues
Refused to give up quick,
Now theres 10 million motherfuckers on my dick

~PerZag turns and points toward the entrance as LURRR bursts through the curtain looking fired up!! The crowd goes wild! A loud “LURRR” chant consumes Club Space!! The OCW Icon pauses and puts his hand to his ear which increases the cheer volume! He smiles and nods to the fans with appreciation. The Hall of Fame championship is around his waist. He high fives fans while making his way down the aisle until he reaches PerZag. PerZag extends his hand and Lurrr happily obliges…the two former OCW Champions shake hands and slide into the ring in unison, as though they’ve been teaming for years~

Belvedere: From Houston, Texas…he is the only 3 time OCW Champion in company history….he is the first wrestler inducted into the OCW Hall of Fame…he is the current OCW Hall of Fame Champion…ladies and gentlemen he is the one, the only…LURRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Smith: Lurrr in the same ring as PerZag and…Alice Knight. I never thought I’d see the day!

Hood: Lurrr respects PerZag, we all know that. As for Alice…well, I’ve heard rumors that he’s not a fan.

Smith: If that proves to be true he’s going to lose the respect of this audience pretty quickly.

Hood: They may boo him, but they will still respect him.

Smith: I guess there’s a difference. Lurrr is getting a lot of love from the fans right now, nostalgia will do that. But, let’s not forget that he’s one of the biggest egomaniacs in company history. His true colors are bound to show at some point during this match

~Belvedere gives Lurrr a respectful nod of the head before accepting the HOF title and exiting the ring. Scruff shakes Lurrr’s hand…an act that causes Roach to turn around (upon seeing it on one of the many screens around Club Space) and approach the referee, wary of bias. Lurrr motions for Roach to ‘run along’. Roach yells at Lurrr…an act which draws a fair amount of boos. Alice steps in, rubbing Roach on the arm, trying to calm the big man down. The bell sounds~

Smith: I don’t think Roach liked Scruff shaking Lurrr’s hand

Hood: Oh, gee, ya think?

Smith: It could be seen as bias, sure. But I think it’s merely a show of respect. Scruff’s been in OCW since day one…as has Lurrr. Scruff has officiated all of Lurrr’s greatest victories and all of his bitter defeats when it comes to OCW.

Hood: Roach needs to settle down. I can’t believe I’m siding with Alice here. It might finally be time for me to be put out to pasture.

~Roach motions to Alice that he’s calm. She nods and steps away. Lurrr and PerZag appear to be going after strategy…their guards are down due to Alice trying to quell the beast. Roach charges forward. Lurrr and PerZag turn around and are both taken down by a double clothesline from the massive man wearing the myers mask!!! The fans boo heavily! Alice pinches her nose for a moment…but quickly snaps into ‘wrestler’ mode. PerZag gets to his feet, first…being the younger, more spry competitor of the team. Alice charges at PerZag and spears him through the ropes!!! Both competitors tumble outside to a huge ovation from the crowd. Lurrr gingerly gets to his feet only for Roach to greet him with a HUGE right hand!! The OCW legend staggers into his corner, his bell ringing from the stiff blow~

Smith: There are no tags…and, well, no rules. It’s pretty simple. Throw both members of the other team off that scaffold hanging above the ring. The first team to do that, wins

Hood: This match was made for a guy like Roach

Smith: I agree that he should thrive in this environment

Hood: And Alice, too…we all know brain power is on the low end of her attributes

Smith: That is so offensive

~Alice pops to her feet on the outside. The crowd chants “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” She looks around with her eyes as wide as sauces featured in Plan 9 from Outer Space. She holds her ‘wings’ out and begins to flap in concurrence with OWL! IS! NIGHT! PerZag rises in the background…Alice is too busy HAMMING it up to notice. Zag walks up behind her and snares Alice by her hair. He yanks her back, grabs her head and drops her with an inverted DDT!! The fans BOO! They yell ‘PERZAG SUCKS!’ One fan even says “YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!” Zag’s head darts in this fan’s direction as he pops back to his feet...he points at Alice and responds “No…SHE ruins everything!” Meanwhile, back in the ring, Roach has his giant foot wedged into Lurrr’s throat. He pulls his leg away and whips Lurrr across the ring. Roach charges in behind Lurrr. Lurrr reaches the corner, grabs the ropes, and leaps over the incoming Roach!! Roach SLAMS front first into the buckle. He turns around only to receive three overreaching right hands!! Roach stumbles into the corner. Lurrr steps up onto the middle rope and continues punching Roach in the head. The fans count along, “1! 2!...9!...” Lurrr pauses after nine…he raises his fist high, brings it down…but instead of a punch, he gouges at Roach’s eyes!! The crowd starts to yell TEN! But shifts into a cheer when they see Lurrr’s audible. Lurrr hops down and waits for the dazed Roach to head his way…Lurrr bends down and lifts Roach high into the air!! Roach flips over and lands flat on his back with a back body drop! The crowd is on their feet chanting the icon’s name~

Smith: And just like that the momentum of this match has shifted!

Hood: What the fuck is up with our fans? They are CHEERING for Alice…but BOOING Roach? They do realize those two are on the same team, right?

Smith: It takes a while for a team to gel and be seen as a true unit. While this IS a tag team contest…I believe the fans still see these four wrestlers as individuals

Hood: Don’t let Jeff Jones hear that…bye bye tag titles

~Lurrr turns to face Roach…as he does he sees a table slide into the ring. PerZag reaches under the ring, seeking a second table. Roach sits up…Lurrr throws a kick into the side of his head, sending him back to the mat. He hustles over and performs a baseball slide under the bottom rope. PerZag slides a second table into the ring. Lurrr looks underneath the ring…all he sees are tables. He hustles away, hopping over the steps and peering under that side of the ring…he yanks a ladder out! The crowd cheers because, well, its downright Pavlovian for wrestling fans to cheer the appearance of a ladder. PerZag grabs a third table…he slides it into the ring…as soon as he does, he feels a poke in the back. He turns around and gets a finger to the eye from Alice!! The crowd goes wild!! Alice laughs for a second before dropping PerZag with a DDT!! Lurrr spots Alice while holding the ladder…he hoists the ladder onto his shoulder and heads toward Alice. He crosses the steps. Alice returns to her feet and starts to back away. Lurrr reaches the midway point of that side of the ring, stalking Alice. Roach slides out of the ring behind Lurrr. The legend pauses…he realizes he’s pinned in between Alice and Roach. PerZag is on the ground...Lurrr kicks him toward the barricade, to clear some room. Lurrr shifts the ladder’s position by placing his head in between the middle two rungs…he begins to spin around. He goes after Roach…Roach backs away, not wanting to get a mouth full of metal. Alice tries to sneak up from behind Lurrr…but the spinning prevents her from doing so. Lurrr starts to get a little dizzy (as anyone would). Roach seizes the opportunity by grabbing the end of the ladder nearest him. Alice lunges forward, grabbing the half nearest her. Roach motions toward the ring post, which is nearby. Alice doesn’t seem too keen on doing this…but Roach is too strong to deal with debate. He thrusts the side of the ladder (with Lurrr’s head still wedged between rungs) into the post!! There is a loud clang!! Roach does it again and again and again with Alice half-heartedly helping. After several CLANGS Lurrr’s arms drop to his side…his knees buckle and he falls to both knees, with his head slipping free. Roach yanks the ladder from Alice and tosses it into the ring. He then lunges forward with a kick to the back of Lurrr’s head!! The Hall of Famer falls face first onto the floor on the outside~

Smith: I think it’s clear that Roach has the strength advantage in this match and, well, appears to be the aggressor

Hood: He’s a changed man, Smith. Is it the mask? Was it the second loss to his current tag partner? Or, did he get on the Keto diet? I don’t think we’ll ever really know

Smith: Maybe he’s reached that age where he realizes time is running out and he wants to accomplish more than simply being an interesting character

Hood: Hmm…yea, maybe…nah, it’s got to be the Keto diet

Smith: There isn’t even any evidence to suggest Roach is ON the keto diet!

~Roach grabs Lurrr by the back of the neck and says something along the lines of, “Too easy.” PerZag returns to his feet. Roach sees him and points at Alice, “Take care of him!” Roach tosses Lurrr back into the ring. He steps up onto the apron and through the ropes, keeping his focus on the first ever OCW Champion. Alice, on the outside, remains light on her feet, bouncing around with her fists ready to box. Zag looks down at her with a raised eyebrow. OWLIS throws a punch at the menacing man from Australia…he catches her fist! She looks around, nervously. Zag breathes a sigh of satisfaction – FINALLY he’s got her where he wants her. Or, does he? Alice throws a short kick into Zag’s shin!! He releases her fist and yells, “FUCK!” Zag leans forward, instinctively…Alice lifts a knee into his face!! He leans back against the barricade…Alice delivers a clothesline that sends Zag over the barricade and into the crowd!! She then turns and slides back into the ring, perhaps feeling as though she got just a little lucky~

Smith: What great awareness by the former OCW Champion! Alice Knight is more than meets the eye!

Hood: No she is not. She’s a filthy, dirty carny who hoots like a fucking bird

Smith: I believe you’re selling her short. Rumor has it Mensa…

Hood: Oh you better not go there

~Roach hoists Lurrr onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He points at the ladder while looking at Alice. Alice hurries over and sets the ladder up, underneath the Scaffold. Roach shakes his head and re-positions it where climbing onto the Scaffold after ascending the ladder wouldn’t be impossible. Alice goes ‘OHHHH’ and laughs, slapping her knee. Roach ignores her and begins to climb with Lurrr draped across his shoulders. Lurrr starts to shake around, trying to get loose. Alice spots this and begins to vacillate, unsure over what to do. Zag pops up from behind the barricade and sees Lurrr in peril. He hops over the barricade with ease and slides into the ring. He grabs Alice around the waist, hoists her up and drops her with a German Suplex!!! Thankfully her head misses the three tables scattered atop the canvas. PerZag returns to his feet and he grabs one of the tables, setting it up with Alice underneath. The ladder is nearby. Lurrr rakes the eyes of Roach!! He then wiggles his legs free, spins around and rips Roach off the ladder all the way down crashing through the table, with Alice underneath, by executing SLING BLADE!!! The crowd leaps to their feet! They chant “HOLY SHIT!” PerZag bends over and peers in on the carnage lying atop Alice Knight. He smiles~

Smith: Oh my gosh! Somebody needs to check on Alice!

Hood: She’s right where she deserves to be

Smith: No she is not!

~PerZag helps Lurrr to his feet. He backs Lurrr into a corner advising the legend to catch his breath – Lurrr doesn’t argue. Zag heads back over toward the wreckage. He picks Roach up and tosses him over the top rope, to the floor. Roach hits hard. Zag kicks debris aside until he finds the body of Alice Knight. She appears to be unconscious. There is, however, no sign of blood. Zag rips her from the mat and hoists her over his shoulder. He heads for the ladder and starts to climb. The fans look on with horror upon realizing their favorite is in peril. Lurrr rises from the corner and kicks all the debris from the broken table out of the ring. He snares a second table and begins to set it up~

Smith: Lurrr showing compassion for Alice?

Hood: That or he’s seen enough Alice matches to know she’s the least likely of the duo to come crashing down from that Scaffold

Smith: I hope those words carry truth

Hood: Make a liar out of me, Zag!

~Zag, in a scene that symbolizes King Kong, reaches the summit of the ladder with Alice in his grasp. He tosses her atop the Scaffold and joins her. Lurrr looks up from inside the ring, curious as we all are as to what’s going to happen next. Roach returns to his feet, leaning against the barricade. He, too, looks up and spots his tag partner in jeopardy. He reaches under the ring and pulls out a chair! Roach steps back up onto the apron. This catches Lurrr’s attention. He hustles over and reaches for the chair…Roach won’t let go. They are at a standstill. So, Roach being Roach, decides to thrust his head forward, into the chair, butting it back into Lurrr’s head!! Lurrr stumbles back, dropping to one knee. Roach enters the ring with the chair~

Smith: Roach doing what is in his nature – whatever pops into his mind.

Hood: I don’t want to get into the guy’s mind. I heard he’s been having some pretty wild dreams as of late

Smith: That seems to be going around the OCW roster in recent days. Perhaps some expired food in catering?

Hood: Doubtful…Bifford has been extremely lucid

~Lurrr, doubled over, doesn’t feel the presence of Roach. Perhaps it’s the ring rust. Roach reaches back and cracks the chair over Lurrr’s back!! Lurrr lets out a yell, falling to his knees. Roach swings the chair like a bat at Lurrr’s head…the three time OCW Champion rolls out of the way, toward the ropes and out of the ring. Roach curses. His attention quickly turns back toward the Scaffolding and the precarious position his partner has been placed~

Smith: Pure instinct by the former champion. Lurrr dodged what would have been a knockout blow

Hood: The 2019 version of Roach isn’t fucking around

Smith: Nope. You have to think the longer this match goes the more it favors Roach and Alice given Lurrr’s…

Hood: Oh please…you’re going to talk about Lurrr’s age when we’ve got a man who’s nearing triple digits fighting later tonight?

~Roach grabs one of the two remaining tables and leans it up in a corner. The fans yell at him. They say, “HELP ALICE!” But Roach is transfixed on destroying Lurrr. Atop the Scaffold, PerZag is on his knees, choking Alice. The crowd yells at him to stop…but he’s maniacal. He’s flashing back to that triple threat three years ago when Alice won the OCW Title. He utters the phrase, “WEAK…ASS…BOOKING!!” while he continues choking Alice. Alice kicks her legs and lets out a weak ‘hoot…’ Roach reaches through the ropes, grabbing Lurrr by the neck and forcing him to the apron. Lurrr tries to throw a punch but Lurrr bites his arm!! Lurrr yells out. Roach knees him in the gut and suplexes him over the top rope, into the ring~

Smith: Roach is an animal!

Hood: And that surprises you because…

Smith: Yea, yea…I know

~Roach is back on his feet. He shoves Lurrr against the table and delivers a head butt, keeping the former champion subdued. He heads for the ladder. The crowd rises. Meanwhile, atop the Scaffold, PerZag stands over a potentially deceased Alice Knight. He’s unaware of his surroundings. All he can see is Alice…all he can envision is a dead Alice. He grabs her by the hair. The fans yell “NO!” They chant “YOU SUCK!” They even go so far as to tell PerZag to “GET FUCKED!” Zag doesn’t care…he hoists Alice over his head and tosses her off the Scaffold!! The crowd shrieks with terror as her body flies through the air, careening down toward the ring, flipping over and slamming into Lurrr, sending both through the table in the corner!!! The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT!” PerZag, looking down, is consumed with shock over what he’s unintentionally done~

Smith: PerZag just put Lurrr through a table!

Hood: Whoa! Quit spreading your propaganda! He threw Alice off the Scaffold. And, being the evil witch demoness that she is, Alice manipulated her fall in order to injure Lurrr!

Smith: Now THAT’S Propaganda!

~Roach, halfway up the ladder, looks down at the carnage. He doesn’t have near the reaction that PerZag or the fans currently display. He looks up and sees PerZag looking down. Roach continues to climb, reaching up for the Scaffold. PerZag snaps out of his momentary state of shock and rushes over, kicking at Roach’s hands. HE HAS THE HIGH GROUND. Roach is unable to maintain a grip. PerZag throws a strong boot into the forehead of Roach, causing the big man to stumble and jump off the ladder, landing awkwardly on the mat. He stumbles around before regaining his footing. Zag looks around, sensing a big moment looming. He leaps off the Scaffold with a crossbody!! Roach looks up. Zag descends upon Roach…Roach greets him with a forearm uppercut!!! PerZag’s body jerks back! He slams into the mat, shoulders first!! He’s out…his arms and legs are limp. Roach stands over the former champion~

Smith: PerZag gave up the high ground!

Hood: You NEVER give up the high ground!

Smith: But, for those of you wondering…this does NOT count as PerZag being thrown from the Scaffold

Hood: Whew! For once OCW does not get on its knees for Alice Knight

~Roach finishes admiring his ‘kill’. He grabs Zag and hoists the big man over his shoulder, heading toward the ladder. Lurrr, meanwhile, begins to emerge from the rubble. Alice Knight is on top of him. He sits up, shaking his head, blinking rapidly. His eyes start to calm down before settling on Alice. Alice’s eyes slowly open. The two Hall of Famers lock eyes. Alice smiles. Lurrr stands up and shoves Alice away. The crowd boos! Lurrr kicks table debris away and heads back for the action. Roach has thrown Zag atop the Scaffolding and is about to join the battered champion. Lurrr rushes over toward the ladder. He shakes it, trying to throw Roach off – but it’s too late. Roach hops atop the Scaffold. Lurrr begins to ascend the ladder, feeling a sense of urgency to help his partner. Alice is on the apron. She reaches her feet and takes stock of what’s going on. She flaps her wings…the crowds lets out a loud “HOOOOOOOT!!” Alice hops up and springboards off the top rope! Lurrr is near the top of the ladder. Alice soars through the air, she grabs Lurrr and yanks him down off the ladder to the mat with SLINGBLADE!!! They land hard!! The ring shakes from the impact!! The crowd goes wild! A lot of HOOTING ensues. Roach looks down and nods with approval before going back after Zag~

Smith: Way to go, Alice! She just gave the original Hall of Famer a taste of what she’s cooking – all to the delight of her parliament!

Hood: Her WHAT?!

Smith: Her fans…she calls them her Parliament

Hood: Well that’s got to be just about the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard

~Roach pulls Zag to his feet atop the Scaffold. He rears back, only for Zag to knee him in the gut! Zag hooks Roach for a powerbomb! He lifts Roach up and turns toward the edge of the Scaffold! The fans are on their feet! Roach punches Zag in the head, desperately trying to break free. He rakes at Zag’s eyes. The freak from down under doesn’t relent. Roach leans forward and bites Zag on the forehead! This staggers the former champion allowing Roach to hop over Zag’s head, landing on his feet behind the former champion. Zag turns around only to be met with a strong right hand! Zag stumbles toward the edge of the Scaffold. Roach hits him again and again and again…Zag teeters along the edge. Roach, sensing he needs a little extra oomph backs up before building a head of steam~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: I’m not sure Roach has though this through

Smith: Don’t underestimate the recoverability of PerZag. The man is a freak of nature

~Roach charges at Zag!! PerZag hoists Roach into the air! The crowd rises with baited breath. Roach, in the air, manages to maneuver his body, stick his legs out and dropkick Roach at the apex of his ascension!! He kicks Zag right in the chest, sending the former champion flying off the Scaffold!!! PerZag, unlike Alice, has no table…he lands directly on the mat!! He hits with a HUGE thud!! The crowd is silent, at first. Alice, seated in a corner, observes the fall. Lurrr, slowly sitting up, looks over to see PerZag, flat on his back, a few feet away. Roach returns to his feet atop the Scaffold…the fans regain their voices and chant ‘HOLY SHIT!’ as Roach starts to pace around the Scaffold, as though he’s protecting it~

Smith: PerZag could have a broken back! Those rings don’t have much give!

Hood: Wait…wait…waitwaitwaitwait…are you trying to tell me that the table is a better landing than the mat?

Smith: I didn’t say that

Hood: Careful, pal…you don’t want to EXPOSE anything

~Lurrr crawls over, checking on his partner. PerZag is unresponsive. Alice stands, in her corner. She starts to hoot and do the flair wing flap strut. Lurrr looks over and growls. He gets to his feet and shoves Alice through the ropes!! Alice slips between the ropes, landing on the apron. Lurrr takes a step back and lunges forward with THE WAKE UP CALL!! Alice ducks!! Lurrr flips over the ropes, landing on the apron!! Alice hops back into the ring, by sliding between the middle and bottom rope. She crawls over and pats Zag on the head before returning to her feet and heading toward the ladder~

Smith: Isn’t she sweet? Concerned over PerZag’s well being

Hood: Seriously? She was MOCKING the man! Mocking a man who might be dead. She’s the WORST

Smith: You are blinded by hate, my friend

Hood: And you’re blinded by retardation

~Roach has full control of the scaffold. Nobody is getting up there without facing the wrath of his feet and his fists…the old f&f combo! Alice scales the ladder. Lurrr slides back into the ring, under the bottom rope. He rests on his knees, taking stock of what’s going on. Alice is climbing the ladder. Roach is patrolling the scaffold. PerZag is down. He does the quick math…either Roach or Lurrr must go off the Scaffold for the match to end. Roach is already up there. Lurrr nods his head as if to say, “Well, alright, let’s fucking do this.” He gets to his feet and heads for the table. He sets it up in a spot that would be the most likely fall for someone atop the Scaffold. He pats the table top and makes his way toward the ladder~

Smith: Lurrr getting things prepared in case he’s the one to fall

Hood: More exposure!

Smith: Alice, meanwhile, continues to climb the ladder. I guess she wants to hang out with her partner.

~Alice nears the top of the ladder. Roach stomps on her hands. She yells out “OWWWWWWWWWWWl” We’re not 100% sure a light ‘l’ was at the end of her “OW” but we’re going to roll with it. Roach leans over and sees Alice. He extends his arms asking, “What the fuck are you doing?” Alice responds, “ I want to climb up there with you! My teammate!” Lurrr reaches the ladder and climbs up on the opposite side~

Smith: Let her up there! It’s got the makings of a classic OCW moment!

Hood: KEEP HER AWAY! Only bad things will happen if she gets up there

Smith: Oh come on! Listen to these fans! They are dying to see Alice and Roach do the OWL WALK atop the Scaffold!

Hood: No they are not!

~Alice continues trying to climb up onto the Scaffold. Roach looks frustrated. She gets her forearm up on the Scaffolding and tries to pull herself up. She yells, “A little help, partner?” Roach lets out an exaggerated sigh before bending over and extending his hand. From behind we see Lurrr climbing onto the Scaffold! He ascended the other side of the ladder, unforeseen, reached up and backward (a little) and snared the edge of the Scaffold. The Hall of Famer is now pulling himself up, behind Roach. Roach helps Alice onto the Scaffold and says, “There…now are you happy!!” Alice smiles and nods. She extends her ‘wings’ and gets ready to Hoot when she spots Lurrr on his feet behind Roach~

Smith: Lurr’s on the Scaffold! Roach hasn’t realized it yet!

Hood: Alice forced Roach to give up the HIGH GROUND

Smith: Not on purpose! She had no idea Lurrr was climbing the other side!

Hood: I’ll say it again because it’s worth repeating…she is…the absolute…fucking…WORST

~Alice points! Roach turns around. Lurrr is poised to hit the Wake Up Call!! Alice jumps in between Lurrr and Roach! Lurrr shrugs and clocks Alice in the chin with THE WAKE UP CALL!! Alice goes limp, falling into Roach’s arms. He looks down at her peaceful face. He frowns and glares at Lurrr. He gently puts Alice down and goes after Lurrr. Lurrr tries to wind up another Wake Up Call, but Roach grabs him by the neck~

Smith: Roach is furious! He kicked Alice in the face!

Hood: The hell is going on here?! You hate her, Roach! Throw her off the Scaffold!

Smith: I think he’s growing fond of her, Hood

Hood: How in the fuck does something like that happen

~Roach lifts Lurrr up by the throat. His strength is overpowering. Lurrr’s legs wiggle. He looks down at Roach, spitting in the giant’s face. Roach is unfazed. He steps toward the edge of the Scaffolding. It’s opposite the side with the table. Roach eyes not JUST the ring…but the corner, the buckles, the post. He’s looking to put an end to Lurrr. The crowd reacts as PerZag crawls toward the ladder…he begins to crawl. Roach is too focused in on Lurrr to care~

Smith: PerZag has risen from the dead!

Hood: Climb faster!

Smith: He’s doing his best!

~PerZag reaches the top of the ladder and rolls onto the Scaffold. He finds Alice lying next to him, still out from Lurrr’s SUPERKICK. PerZag is disgusted. He grabs Alice by the hair and returns to his feet. Roach, feeling the tremors shaking the scaffold, looks over his shoulder. He sees Alice in peril. He drops Lurrr and turns around. Zag lifts Alice over his head, looking to toss her to the ring like before. Roach hurries over and yanks Alice out of his grasp, placing her back onto the scaffold. PerZag turns around~

Smith: Roach saves Alice!

Hood: He’s lost it! I’m officially OFF the Roach for 2019 campaign

~Roach throws a haymaker…Zag ducks! Roach stumbles toward the edge of the Scaffold. He turns around, face to face with Zag. PerZag drops to the Scaffold on his own. Roach is confused. Lurrr is revealed behind Zag…he thrusts forward with THE WAKE UP CALL!!! He kicks Roach RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! Roach flies off the Scaffold and CRASHES through the table below!!! The crowd leaps up, giving a huge ovation due to the spot, the impact, and the moment!! Lurrr drops to his knees, gasping for air as the bell rings~

Belvedere: Here are your winners…the team of PERZAG & LURRR!!!!!

Smith: NO!

Hood: Yes!!! There is a higher power! Life can, at times, be just!

~PerZag gets to his feet and stands over Alice. He’s got bad intentions carved all over his face. Lurrr struggles to his feet, showing the mileage that has ravaged the joints in his legs. He reaches over and pats PerZag on the back saying, “The match is over. We won. Fuck her.” Zag nods, taking the advice from the wrestler whom he deems ‘the greatest in history.’ The duo, one at a time, descend from the scaffold via the ladder~

Smith: PerZag doesn’t listen to many people…but he apparently listens to and trusts Lurrr

Hood: Lurrr is getting soft! They should have thrown Alice off that scaffold. Ya know, for fun

Smith: No way! It’s nice to see Lurrr make the prudent decision. The match is over, no need to take advantage

~Lurrr and Zag hit the ring and walk past a downed Roach. PerZag heads for the ropes but Lurrr stops him and says, “Soak in in some, man!” Lurrr flexes for the crowd, enjoying the win! Zag nods, standing back. He’s not much of a showman. Lurrr finishes flexing and pats Zag on the back. He motions around his waist for an imaginary belt…he looks into the camera, “Those tag belts are ours! C’mon, OCW! Make the sensible choice!” Zag, in the background, nods. The duo exits the ring. The fans cease their cheering. They look up to spot Alice seated at the edge of the Scaffold. “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” rings out. Alice gingerly hops off and climbs down the ladder~

Smith: A tremendous effort by Alice and Roach tonight

Hood: Yea, sure, whatever

~Alice heads over and kneels next to Roach. Roach slowly starts to sit up. We see it in his eyes, he knows they lost. He pounds the mat. Alice attempts to apologize but he won’t hear it. He seems to be taking the blame. He gets to his feet and pats Alice on the head. The duo calmly exits the ring, crestfallen over their tough loss~

Smith: A tough loss. I had hoped for a more positive outcome. Yet, it’s nice to see these two working together.

Hood: Roach is going soft! What’s with all these WEAK ASS wrestlers?! We need more MEN like Vargas and Bifford!

Smith: No way

~Cut backstage to reveal The Bad Ass James Kelloggs standing on his step stool with a mic in his hand~

James “Thanks guys. Joining me at this time is the agent to our Craze Champion Bester, who will defend the Craze championship against Andrea Hernandez later tonight. Joe.”

~Double J Joe Jones strolls on it in the picture with the OCW Craze title on his shoulder. He smiles and looks to be in a good mood~

Joe “James, buddy. How’s it’s hanging?”

James “Slightly to the left. Listen, a couple of weeks ago you were going to announce who will get a shot at that belt right there on your shoulder after Bester pretty much blamed you for what what happened at Death March. Andrea Hernandez came out and said she wanted a piece of Bester and later tonight, those two will meet and maybe settle this bad blood between the two.”

Joe “Correct.”

James “That belt is on the line, you have said it’s time to show Bester some tough love.”

Joe “Yup.”

James “So I have to ask or I wouldn’t be doing my job. Who are you hoping is going to walk out of Throwback the OCW Craze Championship.”

Joe “Well, as you know from the other day. Bester has stated he doesn’t care about this belt anymore for whatever reason. So it’s safe to say that OCW currently doesn’t have a Craze Champion.”

James “Wait? Are you saying that the title is, va…”

~Joe places his index finger on James’ lips~

Joe “Easy little guy.”

~James squints and shoots Joe a dirty look~

Joe “Let’s not start a riot over the V word. Tonight, we will have a new champion. One way or another. Be it Andrea or, someone else. We will have a new champion here tonight. Bester doesn’t want this belt. Doesn’t care about this belt, fuck em. He won’t have it anymore.”

James “So you’re rooting for Andrea?”

Joe “Maybe.”

~Joe glances at the belt~

Joe “Maybe not.”

James “I’m confused? If Andrea doesn’t beat Bester, then how are we getting a new champion?”

Joe “Tonight. I will be at ring side. I will be holding on to this belt and I’ll watch the match. If Andrea wins, I’ll personally hand her the belt, thank her and I’ll pick up the piece that’s left of poor old Bester and start to glue him back together and rebuild him. It’ll be as simple as that and Andrea can go on and do whatever with this belt. But!”

~Joe adjusts the belt on his shoulder~

Joe “Should she come up short.”

~Joe looks at James, who is getting pissed with all of these short shots that Joe is purposely sliding in~

Joe “I’ve come to grown accustom of having this on my shoulder for the past 3-4 weeks. So since Bester doesn’t want it anymore….”

James “Wait? Hold on! Are you saying that if Bester beats Andrea here tonight in the Toy Box of Horrors match , you’ll make yourself the new Craze Champion?”

Joe “I did say there would be a new champion crowned here tonight.”

James “You can’t just do that! That’s unfair!”

Joe “Hold on! Firstly, you need to relax and chill the fuck out. We saw that other guy who stole my name do the same thing with the tag titles.”

James “And everyone lost their minds!”

Joe “They sure did and rightfully so. That other Jones, had no intention to ever get in the ring to defend those belts let alone find a tag team partner to do so. All he wanted to do is make himself the manager to whoever ends up with the belts. I get why everyone lost their minds. The difference is, I’m not afraid to get in that ring. I’m not afraid of any one in that locker room. I’m not afraid to defend this belt next week at Massacre if that is what our GM do desires. I’m not some fat, obese suit who can talk the talk. I’m fucking Double J Joe Jones. A pioneer in this industry. Multi time champion. I’ve gone toe to toe with the best this sport as had for the last 20 years and I’ve beaten them all. I’m not just hype. I’m not just a pretty face that every guy out there tonight wishes I would look their way. I’ll tie you up and make you tap out. After going blow for blow with me, you’ll be walking funny towards the back. I’ll alter your life and that isn’t just talk, it’s not a empty handed promise. It’s a guarantee.”

James “Well I’m not sure what management will say about this. We will have to see what happens later on tonight. I have a feeling that many will not like this one bit.”

Joe “Then you better hope Andrea wins here tonight, otherwise, you can tell those bitches to put their cash where their mouth is and step on up to the plate. Take your best swing slugger. If Bester wins, you better get your track shoes on and spread the word that Joe Jones, is you new Craze Champion.”

James “Oh that will spread like wildfire. People will be all worked up over this.”

~Joe smirks~

Joe “I have that effect on people. Laters.”

~Joe winks towards the camera and wanders off. James shakes his head and watches Joe leave with a blank stare on his face. Very awkward…...~

Smith: Joe Jones holding the best hostage?

Hood: Sounds more like he's planning on claiming the title for himself IF Bester wins tonight.

Smith: Well, we're about to find out. But, yes, it sounds like we'll have a new champion either way. Bester and Andrea are up next...the Craze Title is on the line!

OCW Craze Championship
Nostalgic Toy Chest of Horrors Match
Bester © (10-4) vs. Andrea Hernandez (7-3)

~The crowd is hot. WHITE HOT, as they say and by they I mean hype men attempting to get over just how rabid a fan base is during a heavily promoted, highly anticipated event. They are jamming to “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. It’s one of those scenes where people with shitty ass voices are screaming at the top of their lungs. The 80’s gear is in FULL FORCE with this crowd. Club Space is rocking! A record scratch halts the music…and, as usual this evening, rather than boo the fans go wild. They know shit is about to go down. We cut to the ring where four giant, wooden toy chests are placed in each corner. Belvedere clears his throat and begins his duty~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a Nostalgic Toy Chest of Horrors Match! There are four giant, wooden toy chests contained within this ring. Each chest resides in one of the four corners. These chests are filled with 1980’s toys. One chest contains the OCW Craze Championship. In order to win, a person must retrieve the Craze Title from within the chest and maintain it inside the ring. The first person to do that…wins! Introducing first, the challenger…

~The crowd seems a bit nonplussed by the stipulation but, hey, they go with it. It’s OCW…as crazy as this shit sounds promotional track record indicates it will, at the very least, be entertaining. "Ultranumb" by Blue Stahli hits! The crowd gives a solid reaction to the former Paradigm Champion, Andrea Hernandez. She appears from behind the 1980’s themed curtain and takes stock of the Club Space anachronistic ecosphere. She sucks a lung’s worth of slightly contaminated oxygen before heading toward the ring with laser like focus. She hustles up the steps and enters through the ropes. She eyes all four chests and shakes her head. This isn’t exactly her cup of tea but, whatever~

Belvedere: From Sedona, Arizona…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Paradigm Champion…Andrea Hernandez!!!

~”Superhero Song” by Pancake Manor hits! The fans give a strong ovation! It’s not as strong as it would have been PRE-unmasking. But, they are still hopeful that the former OGDA will return. Slight disappointment consumes Club Space when they see BESTER appear from behind the curtain. His eyes attain a firm lock on Andrea, who doesn’t flinch. Bester’s in incredible shape. His body shuffles an intense amount of energy which makes standing still a difficult task. Bester finally storms down to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope, popping to his feet~

Belvedere: And, her opponent…from the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320ish pounds…he is the OCW Craze Champion…he is…Bester!!!

~Belvedere exits the ring before shit gets CRAY CRAY (ugh, can’t believe I typed that). The bell sounds! Andrea and Bester size one another up~

Smith: It’s been nearly two months since Andrea and the man formerly known as OGDA faced one another for the Craze Championship. A lot has changed since their initial meeting

Hood: Yea OGDA ditched the mask and got serious. He’s called Bester now. And, oh yea, Andrea totally left him out to dry at Death March

Smith: Somewhat of a skewed commentary on actual events. Regardless, there is some hot blood between these two. It will be interesting to see if this match remains professional or if it breaks down into chaos.

Hood: Given the fact Zybala has placed a fuck ton of TOYS in the ring…I’m willing to wager we get chaotic.

~Andrea doesn’t flinch in the face of intimidation. She lunges forward for a lock up!! Bester leans back and throws Andrea to the mat! Andrea hits hard and backs up, against the ropes, seated. Her hand runs through her hair, combing it back into place. She looks up at Bester with the realization this is a very different wrestler than the one she nearly defeated back in 2018. She suddenly darts for one of the toy chests! Bester charges after her. He grabs her by the waist before her hands can reach the potential winning container. He deadlifts Andrea off the mat. She kicks and writhes about, trying to break free. Bester tosses Andrea over his head with a Release German!! Andrea hits hard on the back of her head and neck! She rolls onto her side where she remains with slow, barely noticeable movements~

Smith: We’re seeing a very different man tonight. We got a glimpse of him against Mike Harrison and a week later when he destroyed Brianna Casablancas.

Hood: I like this guy. I think this guy can go all the way.

Smith: And where would all the way take him, Hood?

Hood: To the top, Smith. TO THE TOP

~Bester doesn’t go for any of the chests. He’s got something more serious on his mind. Something that involves in-ring assertion. He grabs Andrea by the hair and whips her into the ropes. Andrea sprints into the ropes, she bounces off and runs right into a big boot from Bester!!! Andrea’s body snaps back and slams into the mat! She reaches for the back of her head, feeling a tremendous bit of whiplash~

Smith: Bester doesn’t appear too concerned about retrieving his belt right now

Hood: He’s becoming a veteran of OCW. He understands how these matches work. It’s a marathon, Smith.

Smith: You have really done a one-eighty when it comes to the Craze Champion

Hood: What can I say…I hate masked wrestlers. The minute he ditched the mask, we became besties

~Bester yanks Andrea back to her feet. Up to this point this appears to be the makings of a snuff film. Bester hoists Andrea up into the press slam position. He heads toward one side of the ring. The crowd rises to their feet. Some fans appear horrified…other fans look intrigued. Andrea suddenly slips free! She hops onto Bester’s back and locks in a sleeper!! Bester stumbles backward…he reaches overhead and snares Andrea by the hair. He whips her over his head, to the mat. Hernandez lands on her feet and spins around, smacking Bester in the chin with a Spinning Heel Kick!!! Bester staggers into the ropes, holding onto the top rope for support. Andrea drops to one knee, reaching once again for the back of her head~

Smith: Great move by Andrea! She desperately needed to do something

Hood: Okay, so this won’t be a squash

Smith: What on Earth gave you the impression this might be a squash?

Hood: Death March

~Andrea crawls forward toward the nearest toy chest. Bester is still leaning against the ropes, feeling around his jaw. Hernandez rips the toy chest open and begins recklessly tossing toys aside in search of the Craze Title. We see a few Popples fly out of the ring followed by some Transformer actions figures and what appears to be Teddy mother fucking Ruxpin. Bester snares Andrea by the hair. He yanks her from the opened chest. He spins Andrea around…she drills him in the side of the head with a Rubik’s Cube!! Bester shakes his head, dazed. Andrea hits him again and again and again. Bester stumbles into the ropes. We see a very red, very irritated spot on the side of his bald head. The skin appears ready to break. Andrea takes a few steps back and charges in…Bester catches her and tosses her over the ropes, all the way to the outside with an overhead belly to belly!! Andrea lands roughly on the outside, dropping the Rubik’s cube. Bester drops to one knee, feeling around the tender spot on his head~

Smith: Such strength shown by Bester. He’s got such an advantage in that department

Hood: Fucking women…they can’t solve the Rubik’s Cube so they use it to beat men in the head

Smith: Oh please! Like she had time to solve that thing

Hood: Go ahead; keep making your WEAK ASS EXCUSES

~Bester heads over to the opened toy chest. He lifts the heavy looking chest in the air and turns it upside down. It empties onto the mat. There is no evidence of the Craze Title. Bester hurls the chest out of the ring. It lands with a pretty loud thud on the outside, bouncing once or twice. Bester kicks all the emptied toys out of the ring, to the outside as well. He turns and sees Andrea beginning to stir. He flies through the ropes in pursuit of the challenger. Andrea, leaning up against the guardrail, sees Bester coming. She throws a quick kick at his knee. Bester dodges the knee and clotheslines Andrea over the barricade and into the crowd. The crowd scatters providing a good patch of unforgiving concrete floor for Andrea’s body to slam into. Bester starts to head out there but kicks the Rubik’s Cube. He picks it up and diagnoses the ‘toy’. He begins to work it over, attempting to solve the pattern~

Smith: Now may not be the time to crack the cube

Hood: Guy has the attention span of a gnat

Smith: Cut him some slack, Hood. The Rubik’s Cube is a highly addictive toy

Hood: Can we stop calling that thing a toy? Toys are supposed to be fun and bring joy. That thing brings misery and low self esteem

~Bester’s adjustments to the Cube increase in speed and force. The big man is growing frustrated. Finally, he places it in the palm of his hand, clenches down as hard as he can until the Rubik’s Cube shatters into a hundred tiny, colorful pieces. Club Space goes wild!! “FUCK THAT CUBE!” is the chant. Bester pauses, and looks around. The chant quickly shifts into a “BESTER!” chant. He gets caught up in the adoration by these Rubik’s challenged fans. This allows Andrea an opportunity to climb up, atop the barricade. Bester’s back is to her as he continues soaking in the atmosphere. Andrea leaps off, grabs the back of Bester’s head and slams him face first on the outside floor with a Bulldog!! The ‘BESTER’ chants crash to a halt~

Smith: Bester was the most popular man in Miami for a few, brief seconds

Hood: Andrea just had to go and spoil it. Way to go, Hernandez

Smith: She’s trying to win the Craze Championship! That would be her second title win in her OCW career

Hood: Blah, blah, blabbity blah

~Andrea returns to her feet. She reaches for her lower back, where the brunt of the earlier fall was absorbed. She takes in a quick breath before heading back to the ring and rolling in under the bottom rope. She surveys the three chests knowing victory is buried deep within one and only one. She doesn’t have much time so she makes the pragmatic selection of heading for the nearest chest. She lifts the top up and begins turning up toy after toy. A replica GIZMO is tossed aside. She unearths a Garbage Pail Kid and is like “What the fuck is this?” with a huge frown. She throws it as far away from the ring as the strength in her arm and shoulder is capable. Bester is already rising to his feet on the outside, so Andrea needs to hurry or call an audible. She’s barely through half the chest…Zybala wasn’t fucking around when he stuffed these things. She pops to her feet and runs toward the ropes. Bester leans against the apron, back to the ring. Andrea charges toward the chest and performs a baseball slide kicking the chest under the bottom rope and into Bester’s back!!! Bester stumbles forward, into the barricade! The chest squeezes all the way under the bottom rope and falls to the outside. Andrea’s lower half is already under the bottom rope, so she slides onto the apron and takes a seat, with her legs dangling over the edge~

Smith: Bester is really taking a beating at the hands of Andrea Hernandez

Hood: She hates this stipulation but I think it’s working for her

Smith: Andrea is a no nonsense competitor. Stipulations such as the one she’s currently forced to wrestle under, in her mind, mock the business

Hood: Well she can get the fuck over it. I’m sure when spices were discovered you had people bitching about how it was ruining their flavorless food.

~Andrea hops onto her feet, still atop the apron. She leaps off the apron at Bester and places her legs into his back. She pulls backward and drops Bester with a backstabber!!! Bester arches his back in pain!! Andrea is also showing a level of discomfort. She crawls toward the chest. She begins to rummage through the toys that have been strewn about. She can’t seem to find what she’s looking for. Her hands come to rest on an Easy Bake Oven. Her face is puce with anger. The fans at ringside chant #HERTOO…yes, they even chant the word ‘hashtag’. Andrea stands and throws the Easy Bake Oven into the ground, shattering it. She says with great conviction, “I hate this stipulation” before kicking the chest around, along with various toys. Bester is on his knees, leaning forward against the barricade~

Smith: Andrea is not enjoying Zybala’s stipulation

Hood: That’s putting it mildly. Have you ever eaten anything that came out of an Easy Bake Oven?

Smith: I don’t think so

Hood: Same here…that shit does make ‘edible’ food, right?

Smith: I think so…but I’m not 100% sure.

Hood: Wait a minute…you’re way too non-committal on this. YOU HAD ONE, DIDN’T YOU?

Smith: No comment

~Hernandez, convinced that chest is empty, goes back after Bester. She snares him by the back of his neck, yanking the big man to his feet. She whips him toward the ring…Bester reverses!! Andrea’s back slams into the edge of the apron! She stumbles forward and eats a Bicycle Kick from Bester!! She goes SPLAT onto the floor outside the ring. The crowd seems split on who to cheer for at this point. Bester’s new attitude has them all perplexed. He snares the toy chest and holds it upside down, shaking every last toy free. And, like Andrea suspected, there is no Craze Championship. Bester tosses the toy chest aside…it lands on hit’s side with the opening facing the camera. Inside we see the Craze Title nailed/pinned to the bottom of the chest~

Smith: It’s the Craze Title!

Hood: They think the chest is empty!

Smith: Zybala had it nailed down to the bottom of the chest!

Hood: WHAT A DICK

~Bester slides back into the ring, focused on locating his belt. He heads for the nearest chest and flings the lid open. He starts to dig through the toys but quickly loses his patience. He hoists the chest up, like he did the last one and turns it over, emptying out the contents. Most notable are some Care Bears and HE-MAN. Bester boots He-Man as far as he can – guy must have been a fan of the super popular, yet criminally underrated SKELETOR. He is far more careful in disposing of the Care Bears. The chest is empty with no Craze Title in sight, so he tosses the chest out of the ring and turns toward the fourth and final chest~

Smith: That leaves one chest…however, it won’t contain what Bester is seeking

Hood: Nope. This match could last all night!

Smith: You’d hope after emptying the fourth chest that Bester would double check the other chests

Hood: You’d HOPE. But when it comes to the former OGDA…I lost hope long ago

~Hernandez pulls her battered body onto the apron. Bester pauses, staring down at the fourth chest. It’s as though he can sense her presence. Andrea pulls herself up. She stands and leans against the ropes, staring at Bester over her brow. Bester starts to turn around. Andrea musters up the energy to jump onto the top rope. She springboards off and flies toward Bester. Bester is now facing Andrea…in prime position for whatever Hernandez has going through her brain. Andrea reaches Bester and goes for a Sitout Facebuster…Bester, though, holds onto Andrea and plants her into the mat with a Sitout Powerbomb!!! Andrea hits hard and remains on the mat, motionless. The crowd…the ones behind Bester go wild. The Andrea fans are silenced…they sense the end is near~

Smith: This would be the end IF the Craze Title were in that fourth chest

Hood: But, it’s not.

Smith: I cringe at the thought of Bester’s reaction when he figures out the Craze Title is not in the final toy chest

Hood: He’ll just smack Andrea around some more.

Smith: I’m not sure I like your phrasing

~Bester stands over the fourth chest and kicks the lid open. He hoists the chest up, like he did the previous chest, and dumps the contents out onto the ring. He kicks a My Little Pony away. He stomps on some Pound Puppies (guy is a cat owner, after all). His eyes scour the colorful field of mint conditioned toys from yesteryear. Nothing shiny catches his eye. There is NO belt. He begins kicking things aside out of frustration. He picks up the chest and looks inside to make sure he isn’t overlooking the belt. He is not. The belt is NOT in this chest~

Smith: I think Bester is about to lose it

Hood: Can you blame him? This match was built to remove sanity from the competitors

Smith: It’s a different concept, for sure

~Andrea sits up and regains her footing. Bester feels the ring shake. He turns and sees Hernandez fighting back, as she always does. He throws the toy chest at Andrea. The fans in attendance shriek. Andrea drops to the mat, ducking the potentially devastating blow. The chest hits the ropes and bounces back into the ring. Bester, furious, charges at Andrea…she takes him down with a drop toe hold!! Bester’s head SLAMS into the toy chest, breaking through the wood!! The crowd goes “HOLY SHIT!!” Bester remains face down with the crown of his head heaving breached the thick but not impenetrable wooden exterior~

Smith: Oh my gosh!! Bester could be concussed!

Hood: Damnit! Just when I was starting to kind of not hate the guy

Smith: The match isn’t over yet, Hood. Andrea still has to figure out where that title is

Hood: Yes, she does…and, I swear, if you give her any hints I will slash the tires to Alice’s RV.

Smith: You have no soul

~Andrea quickly transitions over into a crossface!!! She yanks back on Bester’s head, pulling it out of the damaged chest! Bester reaches around, trying to find the ropes. The only item his hands can reach is the chest. Bester’s hands dig through the crude opening, trying to locate something useful~

Smith: I know he’s in a tough spot…but if he were able to find that title…

Hood: Dude! The title is outside! We already saw it!

Smith: Ah, yea, that’s right. I apologize, folks…feels like I’m hungover or something

Hood: Bester needs to find something heavy and dangerous…smack that bitch in the head with it and knock her out!

~Andrea pulls as far back as she’s capable. Bester’s neck wrenches, it looks very uncomfortable. His right hand, which had been digging into the chest, emerges with SKELETOR! He reaches back, in an awkward looking manner, and begins to slam the SKELETOR action figure into the side of Andrea’s head! She doesn’t relent…she holds onto the crossface. But, blow after blow after blow weaken her grip until, finally, she must relent, letting Bester go. She rolls away, holding the side of her head. A wounded Bester drops Skeletor. His hands reach back into the chest, as if looking for inspiration. He removes – OPTIMUS PRIME. Bester’s eyes light up. He returns to his feet…he’s got some renewed energy~

Smith: Bester Freund is gaining inspiration from one of the most iconic cartoon characters of all time!

Hood: Has anybody told him that Prime dies in the movie? And by ‘the movie’, I’m of course speaking of the classic from 1984. Not the shit show Michael Bay trotted out…three or four times. I lost count.

Smith: Rumor has it Mr. Bay hates an entire generation of men.

Hood: Yea man, just look what he did to Transformers AND Ninja Turtles. Guy has an agenda.

~He looks at Prime as though the legendary figure is speaking to him. He places him atop a buckle (the top buckle, obviously…this isn’t fucking STARSCREAM we’re talking about). He turns and finds Andrea, who is on her feet, holding her head. Bester charges forward and SPEARS Andrea in half!!! She hits the mat, hard. Bester pops back to his feet. He hustles through the ropes, standing on the apron. Andrea returns to her feet, holding her gut like she just endured gas station sushi. Bester leaps up, springboards off and SMACKS Andrea in the face with WRATH OF BESTER!! Andrea is down! Bester pops back to his feet and spots the action figure of OPTIMUS PRIME who, magically, is still standing tall atop the buckle despite all the mat trauma. Bester nods toward the automaton with the regal voice and returns his focus to the final chest in pursuit of his Craze Championship~

Smith: Bester thinks he’s got this won. Little does he know…

Hood: I’m pulling for Bester…but I think there’s more than ‘little’ that he doesn’t know

Smith: Is that some weird way of saying you think he’s less than intellectual?

Hood: That’s putting it mildly

~Bester rips the damage top to the chest open and peers inside. He drops to a knee and starts to dig around, eagerly. His eagerness turns into consternation followed by the vacillating movements of a perplexed individual. He eventually reaches his feet, with the chest upside down, emptying everything a kid from the 80’s could imagine…EXCELT for championship gold. He kicks the toys around, one being a MY LITTLE PONY, before finally throwing the chest as far as he can. It flies out of the ring and over the barricade, into the crowd. People scatter, to avoid being hit. Although one fan…some weird looking guy, sneaks in and snares a few toys before running away. We cannot confirm that this person is a Zybala fan…but we’re pretty sure that he is. Bester kicks all the remaining toys out of the ring and shakes the ropes in anger~

Smith: Bester suddenly realizes what we all knew beforehand…there is/was NO title in that chest!

Hood: This match could go on for DAYS

Smith: Maybe but I’m sure Bester is going to inspect the other chests.

Hood: Give me a second, I think I’m going to head down there and…

Smith: YOU STAY PUT

~Bester exits the ring and marches around. He kicks toys and looks into chests. The chest containing the belt seems to be the last one he’s set to inspect. Andrea starts to stir in the ring. Bester slams his fists into the apron upon coming up empty after inspecting another chest. His focus turns toward the final chest – the chest containing the belt. Andrea reaches for the ropes, pulling herself to a standing position. She wobbles around, potentially concussed. She kicks Skeletor out of the ring~

Smith: And there goes that nefarious skeleton!

Hood: I always believed Andrea had bad taste…she just confirmed what I believed to be true!

Smith: What are you talking about? She’s doing He-Man’s work! The Lord’s work!

Hood: Shut the fuck up

~Bester nears the chest. He is unaware what it contains. Andrea is equally unaware. Andrea, though, knows she needs to get some offense in. Bester stops, looking down at the chest…he’s located behind the ring post. Andrea is facing that corner. Optimus Prime stares her down. She throws a roundhouse kick, nailing Optimus Prime off the buckle and into the crowd! The fans boo!!! Andrea doesn’t give a shit…she’s tired of this goofy crap. She runs across the ring, pauses in a corner…coils and springs forward, charging toward the now empty corner. She jumps up, onto the top buckle…gathers her balance and leaps into the air with a Shooting Star Press!!! She soars through the air before coming down right on top of Bester!!! The crowd goes wild!! “HOLY SHIT!” is the chant most appropriate for what we’ve just witnessed! Bester is down…Andrea is also down, holding her stomach, wincing in pain~

Smith: Holy smokes!! What athleticism!

Hood: Is she having menstrual cramps?

Smith: NO! She just flew ten or fifteen feet through the air! Nobody can do that without collecting SOME collateral damage, you fool!

Hood: Are YOU experiencing menstrual cramps?

~Andrea rolls around…she brushes up against the chest containing the belt. She rolls away and up against the barricade. She reaches up, pulling herself to her feet. She leans against the barricade for support. Fans reach over, patting her on the back. She pulls away and jerks her elbows at them as if to say “GET OFF ME, CREEP” She bends over at the waist, sucking air. She looks over and spots the My Little Pony Bester kicked from the ring…it’s PINKIE PIE. The pony is positioned in a way that makes it look as though it’s pointing toward THE CHEST. Andrea’s brow furrows. She stands upright and leans back, wincing. She continues to eye the suspicious pony. It then hits her…she needs to investigate that chest~

Smith: Interesting situation

Hood: Fuckin hell…I always knew My Little Ponies were the worst.

Smith: No comment

Hood: Ah shit, don’t tell me you had one of those growing up

Smith: …

Hood: Holy shit, you did?!

Smith:

Hood: MORE THAN ONE?!

Smith: Let’s get back to the action!

~Andrea kicks the chest over, revealing the inside. She spots the CRAZE TITLE. Suddenly her injuries and pain go on sabbatical. She dives forward, reaching for the belt. It’s firmly secured to the bottom of the chest…so she tries ripping it out as best she can. Speaking of best…BESTER is on his feet. He stumbles into the apron, shaking his head. Once he starts to focus, he spots Andrea inching closer to victory~

Smith: Andrea had better hurry! She is no longer the only competitor aware of that belt’s location!

Hood: I’d like to say Bester is aware of the belt’s location but he may just think it’s another shiny toy to play with

Smith: Oh please!

Hood: Don’t you Michelle Tanner me!

Smith: Wrong decade!

~Bester storms over, stomping on Pinkie Pie and, evidently, crushing it. He grabs Andrea by the hair, yanking her upright. He spins around and clotheslines Andrea to the ground!! Bester snares the chest and reaches inside. He, like Andrea, finds the belt difficult to remove. He pulls and tugs and yanks…but the damn thing won’t budge~

Smith: That title is securely fashioned

Hood: Zybala, if you’re listening, do not send me any Christmas gifts

Smith: And why is that?

Hood: Well, if you can get past his horrid taste…it would require the jaws of life to open the fucking thing

~Bester lifts the chest over his head. He’s going to smash it. He spots Andrea and decides he may as well murder two birds with one giant, wooden, irritable stone. Bester pauses for a moment, perhaps feeling the sting of his conscience. But the title is on the line! So he brings the chest crashing down as hard as he can!! Andrea moves!! The chest is eviscerated! Andrea hops onto the barricade…she turns, facing Bester, and leaps off with a modified version of Sky High! Bester catches her!!! He hoists her up for a powerbomb, looking down at the Craze Championship which has suddenly been freed. He aims to slam her into the belt…but Andrea head butts the behemoth, shifts her position and brings Bester face down onto the belt with a sit out face buster!!! Bester is down!! The fans pop for the reversal!! Andrea slides back, up against the steps, taking a breather~

Smith: What a move! She’s so close to gaining the second singles title of her young OCW career! C’mon, Andrea…grab the belt!

Hood: Bester’s lying on top of it…and that guy isn’t light.

Smith: No, he is not

~Andrea moves with purpose. She tries to get the title, but as Hood commented, Bester is on top of it. She tries to move the dead weight belonging to the Craze Champion…but she is unable. He’s too fucking heavy. She gets to her feet and stomps on Bester…he doesn’t move. She runs her fingers through her sweat soaked hair and yells out in frustration. She backs away…poised. She’s going to wait for Bester to move, then she will strike~

Smith: She’s poised, like a proud mother lion

Hood: Or like a fucking snake

Smith: I prefer the lioness comparison

Hood: You would

~Bester finally begins to emerge. He gets to all fours. Andrea sprints ahead. She throws a knee at Bester…but Bester rolls out of the way! Andrea hops up, onto the steps, taking advantage of her momentum. She turns around and leaps off with SKY HIGH! Bester is on his back. He looks up and starts to move, but it’s too late! Andrea lands right on top of him with SKY HIGH!! The crowd pops!!! Andrea reaches for her back…but fights through the pain. She crawls toward the belt. Bester reaches out, knowing he’s in danger. His hand reaches, grasping…trying with more hope than direction to grab Andrea hair or leg or arm. His fingers graze her boot. Andrea kicks him away…she snares the Craze Title, pops to her feet and rolls inside the ring!! The fans cheer! The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW CRAZE CHAMPION…ANDREA HERNANDEZ!!!!!

Smith: She did it!! Andrea is the new Craze Champion!

Hood: Son of a SLUT

Smith: That gives her TWO singles title wins in her young OCW career! Andrea is quietly putting together one heck of an OCW resume!

Hood: Former Paradigm Champion…current Craze Champion…all from some woman loosely associated with purple. Who would have figured?

Smith: Just goes to show that you can never judge a book by it’s cover!

Hood: Unless the cover features female titties. Then you can be pretty sure what you’re getting into

Smith: I guess…as for Bester…it appears he’s got some more soul searching to do

Hood: RIP Belty

Smith: Andrea suffered a tough loss at Serial Thrillers and bounced back here tonight. I look for Bester to do the same.

Hood: Oh yea, the dude will bounce back.

~The Throwback screen lights up… or rather, blacks out until a single, white, whispy flake of snow spirals across the darkness. Gradually, it is joined by another, and then another, until we suddenly realize we’re not looking at a black screen at all, but a night sky that has just begun to snow. We hear the wind howling and a distant windchime clinking random melodies as it blows. As the flakes move faster, we see words begin to form in blue cursive lettering as if written by hand across the screen~

“TOGETHER, WE ARE THE SKY”

~The snow eventually becomes too heavy to see through clearly, and the screen shorts out, leaving the screen in darkness again.~

Hood: I’m freezing all of a sudden, Smith. What the hell was that?

Smith: I have no idea, but I get the eerie feeling we will find out soon enough.

Hood: We always do, don’t we?

Smith: After that brief interruption, let’s head to our next contest! It's time for the Paradigm Championship...two out of three falls. Can Mack retain his title or will Ed Houston finally break through into the main event of OCW. Let's head down to ringside to find out!

OCW Paradigm Championship
2 out of 3 Falls Match
Mack O’Connor © (24-7) vs. Ed Houston (18-9)

~Club Space is bumping! “You Spin Me Round” by Dead or Alive consumes the anachronistic atmosphere! The fans are dancing, hopping, grinding, bumping? They are having a great time! A record scratches and the music comes to an abrupt end. Normally this would piss everyone off…but tonight, on the night of nights, the record scratch can mean only one thing. MORE IN RING ACTION! Belvedere stands in the ring looking like your typical 80’s yuppie archetype. He clears his throat. The crowd goes wild~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is a two out of three falls match and it is for the OCW Paradigm Championship!!! Introducing first…the challenger…

~“Rocket Man” by Elton John hits. Club Space loses its fucking mind! The hometown hero, Ed Houston emerges from behind the very 80’s themed curtain. He thrusts the fabric aside and pauses as the crowd bursts into a “HOUSTON” chant. Ed can’t help but to flash a smile. He’s got his OCW LightWeight title secured around his waist. He spots the ring and sprints down the makeshift aisle way. He’s pelted by several bras and numerous pairs of panties. Ed doesn’t flinch, the Rocket man is focused. He leaps onto the apron, flat footed and flips over the top rope, landing on his feet in the center of the ring to a huge ovation~

Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…

~Belvedere pauses, allowing the crowd to cross the line from sanity to batshit crazy. Once they have been given a generous amount of time to act like fanboys and fangirls, Belvedere resumes his task~

Belvedere: He stands at 5’9 and weighs in at 175lbs…he is the final OCW LightWeight Champion in company history…he is a former OCW Craze Champion…he is the reigning Face of the Year…he is The Rocket Man…ladies and gentlemen…he is…Ed Houston!!!

~Ed’s music has ceased. It’s given way to a thunderous “ED! ED! ED!” chant. Houston acknowledges the crowd as much as he can before it becomes gratuitous. “Vagabond” by Greenskeepers hits and the crowd BOOOOS as loud as they are able. Mack steps through the curtain with a sour look on his face. The cantankerous Paradigm Champion spits at the crowd and semi-snarls while staring at Ed in the ring. He clinches his fists and stares at both sides of the crowd through the corner of his eyes. Fans are yelling and screaming at him, saying things that are, well – less than nice. Mack acts like he’s about to punch a guy who looks like Boy George. The guy screams and falls down, covering up. Mack chuckles and struts down to the ring~

Belvedere: And, his opponent…from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 220lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is the current reigning and defending OCW Paradigm Champion…he is…Mack O’Connor!!!

~Mack reaches the ring and slowly ascends the steps. Trash is hurled his way. We see several empty boxes of Hi-Ci Ecto Cooler pelt him in the back. Mack pauses and looks over his shoulder. He says something that looks and sounds like “Bitch” before toeing the apron and stepping in, through the ropes. He removes his Paradigm Title and holds it up high in the air! Trash is thrown into the ring. Even Ed has to duck and dart to avoid being hit. Mack doesn’t go through the trouble. He gets pelted over and over without flinching~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen would you please cease throwing trash into the ring!

~The crowd BOOOS heavily and throws even MORE trash into the ring. Belvedere reaches for his ear, listening to a piece which spouts correspondence from backstage~

Belvedere: I have been informed that if the throwing of trash does not cease immediately then this match will be cancelled!

~The crowd continues to boo, however, the trash throwing comes to an end. Ed looks out into the crowd, thanking them for their support and apparent loose grip on sanity. Belvedere takes the Paradigm Title, along with the LightWeight Title, and exits the ring. The bell sounds. The boos flip to cheers! The fans are back on the Houston train! Ed steps to the center of the ring where Mack resides. O’Connor sizes Ed up~

Smith: And finally we’re able to get his match underway! A big thank you to the fans for listening to reason

Hood: If I were Mack I’d continue to incite these people. Get this match thrown out that way he is guaranteed to leave here champion.

Smith: That would be a cowardly act

Hood: No, it would be smart. You hear this crowd? This is the biggest home ‘court’ advantage I’ve ever seen. Mack doesn’t want to go against this

Smith: And yet, he must

~OCW officials have cleared away all the trash from inside the ring. They hurriedly sweep the debris away from ringside to elevate the safety for the two competitors. Mack looks at Ed and spouts some words we can’t hear. They seem genuine, based upon his gesticulations. Ed doesn’t seem convinced. Mack extends a hand. The crowd chants “NO!” Ed looks down at the hand, conflicted~

Smith: Is Mack looking to make this a gentlemanly affair? I know he’s being booed out of the building tonight…but Mack isn’t all bad

Hood: Shake his hand, Ed. I dare you

Smith: Hmm, given your inclination toward Ed shaking Mack’s hand I think I’d have to advise that Ed forgoes any sign of sportsmanship

Hood: Classless

~Houston reaches out to shake Mack’s hand but quickly pulls his hand away as Mack looks to close in on the shake! The crowd goes wild!! Ed proudly points to his head and turns to show the crowd that he’s no dumbass. He turns back around and is SMACKED in the face with a right hand!! His knees buckle. He falls into Mack. Mack grabs Ed and drops him with Hollow Point!!! Ed’s body falls into the ropes…the torque of the ropes shoot him back into Mack who lifts Ed up and drops him with Claymore!!! The crowd is stunned. They are silent. Mack makes the cover! Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: The winner of the first fall is…Mack O’Connor!!!

Smith: What?! NO!

Hood: Ahahaha! Yes!

Smith: There…I…something…someone…somebody!

Hood: And Smith is malfunctioning because there is literally NOTHING illegal about what just happened. Ed has no out.

~The crowd BOOOS heavily. A boisterous chant of “BULL FUCKING SHIT” fills Club Space. Mack reaches his feet and takes a moment to laugh and taunt the crowd. Ed sits up onto his side, at the elbow. He shakes his head, eyes wide displaying a faraway gaze. Mack takes his thumb to his throat and does the ‘throat slit’ toward the crowd. They BOOO and chant “DICK FACE!” Mack has a puzzled expression but turns around to go back after Ed. Houston is on one knee, shaking his head, still dazed. Mack grabs Ed by the hair and pulls him to his feet~

Smith: Wake up, Ed! Your title shot is about to vanish right before you half opened eyes!

Hood: The kid is good…but he’s not great, Smith. He’s in over his head

Smith: I disagree!

~Ed’s on his feet, leaning against Mack. Mack straightens Ed up and drills him with another right hand!! The haymaker razes Ed to the ground. He’s out. Mack makes a cover and counts along with Scruff~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Smith: He kicked out!

Hood: Blah! Hit the Claymore, Mack! C’mon!

Smith: C’mon, Ed! Fire back! You’re not out of this one yet!

~Mack punches the mat with his fist. He returns to his feet and grabs Ed by the hair, yanking The Rocket Man to his feet. He pulls Houston in close and lifts him up for another Claymore. Ed, though, breaks free and hops behind Mack, landing on his feet. He stumbles into the ropes. Mack turns around and charges at Ed, furious. Houston drops down, pulling on the top rope. Mack flips over the top, lands on the apron, bumps off and hits the floor on the outside. The fans at ringside yell and scream at Mack. Houston remains on the canvas continuing to recover from Mack’s initial onslaught. Scruff initiates a count~

Smith: Alright! Ed’s slowly climbing back into this!

Hood: Of course Scruff decides now is a good time to be all over the count

Smith: He’s simply doing his job, Hood

Hood: WEAK ASS REFEREEING

~Scruff yells out “FOUR!” Houston rolls toward the middle of the ring and sits up. He reaches for the back of his neck, wincing. He tilts his head back and forth, soothing the damage. Scruff yells out “FIVE!” Mack reaches up, grabbing the apron and gets to his feet. He sees Ed sitting up. Houston gets to one knee. Mack rolls back into the ring, breaking the count. Mack gets to his feet and shoves Scruff aside. Scruff looks at Mack like “What the hell, man?” He lets out a loud “SIX!” to be a jerk. Mack spins around, threatening to punch Scruff. Scruff backs away like “My bad, man! My bad!!” Mack turns back around to find Ed on his feet. O’Connor shoves Ed into the nearest corner. Ed, still reeling, flies into the corner…the back of his neck and head hit the top buckle awkwardly. He winces, reaching back and again grabbing for the punished portion of his upper body. Mack steps forward and delivers a vicious punch into the Ed’s liver region. Houston drops to both knees. Mack laughs and yanks him back up. O’Connor bends over to lift Ed for a bodyslam. He hoists Ed up with tremendous force…Ed’s hips rotate…but they don’t stop. Ed’s able to rotate three hundred-sixty degrees and drop Mack with a DDT!!! The back of Ed’s head hits the bottom buckle on the way down, keeping him grounded. Mack rolls over, holding his head in pain. The crowd is on their feet going wild~

Smith: Alright, Ed! He’s rising from the grave!

Hood: You saying Ed is into necrophilia?

Smith: No! How…how would you come to that conclusion?

Hood: He ignored all those undergarments thrown at him by LIVE women. Maybe that’s just not his thing, ya know?

~Houston reaches up, snaring the middle rope. He pulls his body off the mat, reaching his feet. He leans into the corner for support. The crowd urges Ed to get moving. He obliges, heading toward Mack. O’Connor reaches for Ed’s wounded knee. He snares it!! Mack pops to his feet, as though he were playing possum. He clutches his fist, looking to drive it into Ed’s tender joint. Houston pleads with Mack to cease. His pleas fill Mack with confidence. Mack rears back for a haymaker…Ed jumps up and drills Mack in the side of the head with an enziguri!!! Mack stumbles to the side. He falls to one knee before promptly returning to his feet, continuing to stagger. Ed hurries to his feet, runs at Mack, leaps in the air and drills him with a perfect dropkick!! Mack stumbles through the ropes, landing on the apron~

Smith: Ed Houston has built some momentum! That knee is still tender from his match against Langston two weeks ago…but it seems stable enough

Hood: Yea, stable enough until Mack lands a solid blow

Smith: Let’s hope that doesn’t happen

Hood: You biased mother fucker

~Houston leans against the ropes opposite of Mack. O’Connor gets to his feet on the apron. Ed charges at Mack. He leaps through the air…Mack ducks. Ed soars over O’Connor and flips over, landing on the ground with his arms locked around Mack’s waist for a Sunset Flip. Upon landing, Ed’s knee nearly gives out, but he toughs through the instability. Mack holds onto the ropes to keep from being pulled to the floor. He throws his leg back…the heel hits Ed in the back of the neck. Houston loses his grip and stumbles forward. Mack turns around. Houston does the same. Mack throws a kick at Ed…Houston snares the leg! Houston hops onto the apron with Mack’s leg in his hands. He spins from the apron to the floor with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!!! Mack lands hard, holding his knee in pain!! Houston splats onto the floor as well, rolling around, wincing. The crowd goes wild! “ED! ED! ED!” fills Club Space~

Smith: Turnabout is fair play? Ed is letting Mack know what a bad knee feels like

Hood: So what…as if Mack actually uses his fucking legs to do anything more than stand and provide leverage for a punch.

Smith: Standing is pretty important in athletic competition

Hood: Not when you have fists of STEEL

~Houston struggles back to his feet. Mack, holding his knee, sits up against the barricade. Ed tries to grab him, but Mack kicks at him with his good leg. He throws a few arrant punches. Houston backs up against the apron, frustrated. He springs forward and drills Mack with a Dropsault! He flips over, landing on his feet. He staggers a bit, given the weakened knee. He hurries forward and delivers a knee lift into Mack’s face! The combination causes Mack to slump to his side, arms limp! The fans are going wild!! Houston gets back to his feet, displaying a slight limp. He grabs Mack and struggles to pull the larger man to his feet~

Smith: Great combination by The Rocket Man! He’s fighting through a wounded knee in an effort to claim the biggest victory of his OCW career!

Hood: Wake up, Mack!

Smith: He may be out, Hood

Hood: Unpossible…the guy puts away a case of Jameson on a regular basis. A few kicks to the head is NOTHING

~Houston is able to roll Mack into the ring. O’Connor’s cumbersome body rolls awkwardly toward the center of the canvas. Ed climbs up onto the apron, showing more caution with when and how he decides to use the spring in his legs. Mack, somehow, fights to his feet. All those bar room brawls are paying off. Houston leaps up, he springboards off the top rope. He flies toward Mack, hooks his legs around Mack’s bald head, flips backward, taking Mack over with a Frankensteiner!! He remains on top of Mack, grabs both legs and secures a pin. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!!

Smith: So close! Ed nearly tied this match up!

Hood: Holy shit that was way too fucking close! Time to wake up, Mack! Don’t give the kid any hope

Smith: All the momentum is with Ed right now. This match is in danger of getting away from the Paradigm Champion

~Ed rolls through post kickout, returning to his feet. He performs a quick pivot, turning around. Mack’s back is to Ed. Houston turns up and performs a Shining Wizard to the back of Mack’s head!! O’Connor slumps forward but, somehow, out of instinct, fights to his feet. He stumbles around with his fists up. Houston sprints at Mack, leaps into the air and blasts him in the chest with a Front Dropkick!!! Mack’s body goes flying into the corner! He hits hard! The ring shakes from the impact!! O’Connor falls to a seated position, his head leaning against the middle buckle. Houston pops back to his feet with the crowd 100% behind him! They are on their feet, going wild~

Smith: Mack O’Connor is being handled in a manner we’ve never seen before! Ed Houston has the OCW legend reeling!

Hood: What the shit is this?! I didn’t sign up to watch Ed kick Mack all over Miami

Smith: And yet, here you are

Hood: Oh fuck off

~Houston sprints forward and flies through the air with double knees into Mack’s face!!! He rolls backward, popping back to his feet. He shows a limp, reaching for his tender knee. Mack’s body is on its side, in the corner. Ed shows a slight hobble as he heads for Mack and drags the Paradigm Champion into the center of the ring. Mack is prone. Ed heads for the corner…the fans start a “BLASTOFF” chant~

Smith: Ed is looking to hit Blastoff!

Hood: Oh I so hope his knee goes out on him…or explodes. A knee explosion would be better

Smith: THAT WOULD RUIN HIS CAREER

Hood: Hence why it KNEEDS to happen

~Houston reaches the top. He breathes in and out, calming his nerves. He leaps off with BLASTOFF!! He hits it!!! The impact creates a loud THUNDER like boom throughout Club Space! The fans jump up and down, going wild. Houston reaches for his knee, grimacing. The fans yell “PIN HIM!” Houston crawls, dragging his tender knee behind him. He makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP!!

Smith: NO!

Hood: Haha! Yes! You are the man, Mack!

Smith: That…there’s no way that should have happened! What’s going on?!

~Houston gives Scruff a look like “Are you serious?” A sad looking Scruff holds up two fingers. Houston quickly moves beyond the initial disappointment. He pummels Mack with right hands, keeping the Paradigm Champion grounded. He throws a few head butts into the mix. It’s borderline assault. Houston finishes and returns to his feet, heading back to the same corner. He’s limping worse than before~

Smith: Another Blastoff?

Hood: Okay, his knee might literally explode this time

Smith: Think about what you’re doing, Ed! Even if you secure the pinfall you’ve still got to get one more in order to win

Hood: You see, this is why he couldn’t hack it at NASA. Guy doesn’t plan ahead

~Houston reaches the top of the corner. His wounded knee is shaking. He looks up, sucks down the intestinal fortitude necessary to leap through the pain and soars through the air!! It’s picturesque. Everything seems to come to a halt as Ed gracefully hangs in the air before coming down right on top of O’Connor with another BLASTOFF! This time, he luckily remains on top of Mack after the impact!! Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell sounds~

Belvedere: The winner of the second fall is Ed Houston! This match will now move into the third and decisive fall.

Smith: Yes! He tied it up!

Hood: Yea, but at what cost? That knee was already weak as hell. Did he blow his load to simply even the score?

Smith: I don’t know about anyone ‘blowing their load’ but he certainly could have shot his wad

Hood: Tomayto!

Smith: Tomahto

~Ed is back on his feet the second after Belvedere’s announcement. Mack is down. Ed heads for the corner. The crowd is excited! He slowly climbs to the top. He looks down at Mack, prepared to deliver a third Blastoff. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Mack remains on his back. Houston bends his knees in preparation to launch! His knee suddenly gives out!! Ed falls to the mat, holding his knee in pain! The crowd goes quiet. Ed slaps at the mat, frustrated~

Smith: Oh no!

Hood: Yep, he blew his load

Smith: If he can’t hit Blastoff...

Hood: C’mon, let’s stop acting like we ever thought he could win

~Mack begins to stir. He sits up, holding his chest and stomach. He looks over at Ed, angry. Two blastoffs aren’t fun to endure. Mack returns to his feet. Scruff tries checking on Ed, but Mack shoves him aside. He grabs Ed by the damaged leg and drags him toward the center of the ring like a predator manipulating its prey. The crowd boos…they try and urge some sympathy into Mack. But, there is none – this man is a fighter~

Smith: I fear over what Mack’s going to do to that leg

Hood: Worst case scenario – he cuts it off.

Smith: That would be TERRIBLE

Hood: Yea, I guess. But at least Ed would get disability and be able to wheel around theme parks, being thrust to the front of the line

~Mack, satisfied with their positioning, looks into the hard camera. He throws up a middle finger and turns around, pointing his back toward the hard camera. People backstage must be furious. Mack proceeds to stomp at the back of Ed’s knee, while holding it with his hands. Houston grimaces in pain. He tries to get away and grab the ropes, but Mack is too big and too strong. Mack stops kicking and starts punching at the knee. He’s beginning to grow confident – maybe even arrogant~

Smith: Ed may be wounded…but a wounded animal can still strike

Hood: Yea man, just like Tony Montana

Smith: That was fiction

Hood: No way, 100% based on a true story.

~Mack taunts Ed after each right hand to the knee. Mack winds up, reaching farther back than previously…Ed kicks his good leg out, blocking Mack’s incoming punch!! Mack stumbles. Houston lunges forward, grabbing Mack by the leg. He trips Mack’s base out from under him, dropping the big man to the mat. Ed holds onto Mack’s leg and gets to his feet (via his good knee) and applies an Ankle Lock!!! Mack yells “FUCK!” and slams his fist into the mat. It’s a combination of pain and frustration. Ed twists the ankle as hard as he can, hopping around on one foot. The crowd chants ‘TAP! TAP!’~

Smith: It’s Ed’s signature submission maneuver he calls Countdown!

Hood: I didn’t know Ed had a submission finisher! Did you know this?

Smith: Of course, it’s on his resume. He just rarely uses it here in OCW

Hood: I think you’re lying. I think this move was hidden from Mack as a way to give Ed an advantage!

~Mack appears as though he’d rather kiss Josie Barnes than tap out. His ankle is being manipulated in a very painful manner. Mack starts to crawl toward the ropes. His weight advantage is coming in handy. Ed tries to keep Mack centered, but the weight disparity plus Ed’s wounded leg make it impossible. Mack finally reaches the ropes…Scruff orders a break. Ed, far from a fool, holds on for the allotted five second count before letting Mack go~

Smith: And Mack gets the break!

Hood: Which one? The hold or the ankle?

Smith: The hold! I’m quite certain his ankle is not broken

Hood: Whatever you say ‘Dr.’ Smith

~Mack returns to his feet. He limps on his ankle. Ed is limping on his knee. Houston fights through the limp, charging at Mack. Mack lifts Ed up, high into the air, over the top rope. Houston comes flying down to the apron…but, instead of hitting, he’s able to use the rope to control his descent…he slides through Mack’s legs, back into the ring. He pops to his feet and turns around…he reaches for Mack but walks right into HOLLOW POINT!! Ed’s body snaps back to the mat. Mack hurries over and makes the pin~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: Ed kicked out!

Hood: Man, both guys out there hobbling around. It’s like that spiderman meme…only with two Ehuds.

~Mack is frustrated, but he stays on point. He pulls Ed up and hooks him for Claymore. Ed, though, elbows Mack in the head, forcing a break. He turns to hit the ropes, but Mack dives into the back of his knee! Houston falls to the mat, clutching his knee! Mack returns to his feet, grabs Ed’s knee and goes back to punching it, contemplating a submission~

Smith: A submission move here could end it

Hood: Does Mack know any submission moves? Ya know, aside from out drink the other guy?

Smith: I’m sure, given his tenure within this business that he can apply…ya know, something like a…head lock

Hood: Lot of good that will do him in this situation

~During Mack’s internal struggle over submission strategy…Ed manages to get to one knee. Mack, retaining control of his leg, decides punching the leg repeatedly might be the way to go. So, he punches at the leg and punches and punches and punches. Ed remains standing…but his head grows heavy. The pain he’s going through, the extra endurance his body is expending to absorb these blows is taking its toll~

Smith: Ed might be on the verge of passing out!

Hood: Keep punching, Mack!

Smith: Scruff might call the match. This is brutal

~Mack reels Ed in, closer, placing Ed’s knee under his arm. He grabs Ed by the throat. Ed’s eyes open. Mack’s got his attention. He says, “Not yet.” Houston leaps up and smacks Ed in the head with an Enziguri!!! Mack spins around, stunned! Ed drops to the mat and rolls Mack up!! Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…ED HOUSTON!!!!!

Smith: The kid did it!! He did it!

Hood: What the fuck just happened?!

~The crowd leaps to their feet, overjoyed by the victory! Mack sits up, stunned. He looks around. Scruff receives the Paradigm Title from Belvedere and hands it to Ed. Houston is helped to his feet by Scruff. Ed holds the title high, visibly emotional over the huge, potentially breakthrough performance. Mack gets to his feet and looks at Ed. The fans boo~

Smith: What’s Mack going to do?

Hood: I don’t know

~Mack simply turns and exits, leaving Ed alone. For some, this could be construed as Mack ‘showing respect’. Ed is left in the ring to celebrate his victory inside CLUB SPACE~

Smith: Ed Houston is the new Paradigm Champion!! My goodness, Hood…this kid has gone from rookie to OCW mainstay. He’s one of the best we’ve got!

Hood: Congrats, kid. You did well. Now the fun part looms – holding onto the fucking thing

Smith: Indeed…he has a date with Kitty Petrova. That, won’t be easy. Well, fans...it's 2019 which means we are all part of a much kinder, gentler, more understanding society. And, well, I'm told OCW's next PPV event will be themed around a heightened level of social acceptance. Let's take a look at a promo advertising our next big event!

Smith: Huh

Hood: Wow...that was much better than what I expected

Smith: I'm honestly not sure how this event will go over

Hood: Oh quit acting like such a bitch. I'm sure women will be allowed in the building

Smith: In the building?! Andrea is the Craze Champion! They'd better be allowed to compete!

Hood: Ugh, fine

Smith: Another potential CLASSIC OCW event, fans! Speaking of classic...we've got four classics set to do battle. Three OCW classics and one, well...

Hood: We'll just say Ehud is classic

Smith: Indeed. Let's head down to ringside!

Tag Team Match
High Impact Express vs. The Big Bifford & Ehud of Moab

~The patrons, fans, COMRADES of Club Space are dancing in rhythm (save for this one goofy looking white guy who may or may not run an efed) to the tunes of “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant! The lights in Club Space flicker and flash, giving an electric vibe. It’s a pretty groovy song that somehow feels both misplaced and right at home. The tune comes to a close via record scratch followed by Belvedere’s throat clearance! The fans are ready! They go wild~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…

~“Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio hits! It’s not the 80’s but it’s a lot closer than most of the other songs we’ve heard this evening! The fans go wild and begin singing the easily memorized lyrics to the most iconic song about a school of ruffians brought to grips by a very edgy and hardcore Michelle Pfeiffer. We all knew once she threw on that leather jacket that the woman meant bizness. One of those mini, portable rings wheels out from behind the curtain escorting both Bifford and Ehud to the ring. This is much appreciated given Biff’s girth and Ehud’s pace which has adopted the friendly nickname ‘escarGO!’ The ring shakes and wobbles…it appears close to giving out due to Biff’s massive size. Thank goodness Ehud weights, like a buck thirty. It finally reaches the ringside area. The front rope is detached and Ehud begins to exit. Biff stands back, sporting his MAGICAL FLEECE. He exhales, waiting for his old, slow friend to make his exit. We cut to Belvedere~

Belvedere: From a place called Moab which, we think is located in Utah…he is the hunter of evil, purple things. He eats EXCLUSIVELY at Wendys. Please welcome…Ehud of Moab!!! And, his tag team partner…weighing in at a weight over four hundred but not to exceed six hundred pounds. He is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is the only known serial murder to have been released from prison due to extremely good behavior. Ladies and Gentlemen…he is…THE BIG BIFFORD!

~Ehud FINALLY exits the cart and makes his way toward the ring. Bifford quickly absconds from the tiny vehicle before it submits under his weight. He heads toward the ring, blowing right past Ehud. Bifford takes the steps (for he is not an animal) and pauses at the ropes. He looks out to the crowd. A mysterious gust of wind blows through his hair, tickling the furry ends of his MAGICAL FLEECE. He squints, wondering if he spots DAN in the crowd. He decides the man is not Dan…perhaps Stan. Bifford steps in, through the ropes, his belly molesting the middle rope in the process. He reaches the interior of the ring and finds his team’s corner~

Smith: Bifford and Ehud wins the award for strangest team this evening. The competition was fierce.

Hood: No shit…they beat out Alice and Roach. Although I think they would have had stiff competition from that strange pairing of Dan and Chris

Smith: THEY ARE BROTHERS

Belvedere: And…their opponents!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

FEEL GOOD

~“Feel Good Inc.” by Gorillaz blares throughout Club Space. It’s heard for a moment before being smothered out by the cheers and screams of OCW fans!! Silver Cyanide emerges, hockey stick in hand. He looks around, nodding in approval over the reaction his legendary visage is receiving. He makes his way down the aisle, dodging the shaky, wounded mini ring cart as it slowly rolls back toward the curtain. A few MILFs who have had more than a few appletinis lean over, cat calling Cyanide. He stops, looks at them and shakes his head, remembering the days when the cat calling came from women much younger. Undaunted, the OCW icon hustles toward the ring, rolling in under the bottom rope and popping to his feet to a huge ovation! Biff, standing in his team’s corner, glares at Cyanide, who responds by pointing his hockey stick in Biff’s direction~

Belvedere: From Boston, Massachusetts…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 220lbs…which comes out to approximately 73 fairly large ducks…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is AgCN…Silver Cyanide!!!

Smith: Cyanide looks in great shape, Hood!

Hood: He’s got that damn stick with him. Doesn’t he realize we are in Not-Canada tonight?

Smith: I think it’s there for insurance. We saw it come into play last month at Death March

Hood: Yea when he screwed James Raven!

Belvedere: And, his tag team partner…

~Kickstart My Heart by Mötley Crüe is imbibed throughout the eclectic atmosphere of Club Space! The crowd jumps up, going wild to the intoxicating beat. Now THIS is a song fit for Throwback. The man to whom this song summons steps from behind the curtain…it’s the Marvelous One himself, Mario Maurako! He looks to be in tremendous shape. He marches toward the ring, ready for combat. He reaches the ringside area and shoulders past Ehud who has just now reached the ring steps nearest the aisle. Mario hustles up the steps and reaches the apron, stepping through the ropes. He flexes for the fans who give him a hero’s welcome! A “MARIO” chant fills Club Space~

Belvedere: From Minneapolis, Minnesota…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is a two time OCW Hall of Famer…he is “Marvelous” Mario Maurako!!!

Smith: Mario and Silver Cyanide…known as the High Impact Express have joined forces once again here at Throwback!

Hood: Yea…this feels like Bifford and Ehud being thrown to the wolves. A showcase for the reunification of two best friends.

Smith: You might be right…although Bifford’s made a career off of making people look foolish

Hood: Including himself!

Smith: It seems as though Mario and AgCN switched to more normal attires after their promo

Hood: I guess they had to get their 'game' faces on for the match

Smith: And separate intros. Could that mean something?

Hood: It probably means that OCW is paying to use both songs and, when asked about a joint entrance replied, "If we're paying for these two songs, we're playing these two songs!"

~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. Bifford looks out, over the top rope and sees Ehud half way across the side of the ring, nearing their corner. He urges Ehud to hurry up. Ehud says something about patience being a virtue. Cyanide and Maurako deliberate in their corner, trying to decide who will begin the match. It’s quickly discovered that Cyanide will begin as Mario steps through the ropes, finding a spot on the apron. Cyanide drops his hockey stick over the top rope. It falls harmlessly to the floor outside. Bifford, seeing a very focused Cyanide, steps through the ropes and points at Ehud~

Smith: Is Ehud going to start the match?

Hood: If the ancient fucker ever reaches the ring

Smith: Is Biff scared of Cyanide?

Hood: Fuck no…Biff may be fat and goofy but he’s no moron. He’ll get his hands on Cyanide when the opportunity presents itself

~Ehud, refusing to take the steps, for some reason (animal?) struggles to climb onto the apron. Cyanide heads over and extends his hand. Ehud, no fool, reaches up and accepts Cyanide’s hand, through the ropes. Cyanide helps Ehud onto the apron and through the ropes. Ehud pats Cyanide on the back before smacking him in the chin with a stiff right hand!!! AgCN stumbles back, holding his chin. He looks at Ehud, shocked. The old man can really pack a punch~

Smith: No good deed goes unpunished

Hood: Ehud came to fight, Smith! You wouldn’t try and help a coiled snake, would you?

Smith: Eek! I hate snakes

~Cyanide regains his normal posture and circles Ehud, who is standing in the middle of the ring, fists raised. Cyanide is at sort of a moral impasse. On one hand, he’s supposed to fight this elderly gentleman. On the other hand, he’s faced with attempting to fight an elderly gentleman. A total catch 22~

Smith: Cyanide appears to be worried he may harm Ehud

Hood: Isn’t that the fucking point?

Smith: Yea, but, I mean…c’mon

Hood: Ehud won’t turn into dust after one punch, trust me

~Ehud pivots, keeping Cyanide in front of his FISTS. AgCN, still fleet of foot in spite of the mileage accrued, hops around and is able to elude Ehud’s pivoting. He finds himself facing Ehud’s back. Ehud tries to pivot around. Cyanide remains, standing, hands on his hips. He looks over at Maurako as if to say, “Seriously?” With his attention diverted, Ehud is able to face Cyanide and he throws another right jab that lands squarely on AgCN’s jaw!! Cyanide staggers back, into the ropes, nearly falling through them. He looks at his hand, rubs his jaw, and shoots a puzzled expression at Ehud~

Smith: I know it may seem like injustice…but if he doesn’t fight back he’s going to continue getting punched

Hood: Ehud was a prize fighter back in the day.

Smith: I didn’t know that

Hood: Yep, Mark Twain once wrote “The elder statesman known as Ehud delivered a vicious right hand square on Genghis Khan’s jaw. An act which raised a smile on Washington’s stoic face.”

Smith: I don’t even know where to begin with that one.

~Mario claps from the corner, urging Cyanide to get back in there and punish Ehud. AgCN stands upright and circles Ehud once again. Ehud pivots, as before. Cyanide rushes in and the two lock up! Cyanide snares Ehud in a side head lock and wrenches Ehud’s old, stiff neck. Ehud winces…his cowboy hate falls off. Cyanide kicks it out of the ring. This infuriates Ehud. He begins to throw stiff jabs into Cyanide’s kidneys. AgCN, feeling the weird pain of the blows, whips Ehud into the ropes. Ehud jogs, in slow motion, toward the ropes. He bounces off…Cyanide waits and waits…Ehud comes closer and closer…Cyanide finally lunges forward with a clothesline, dropping Ehud to the mat!~ Ehud lays there, wincing. His old, wrinkled face made to look pale by the overabundance of light combined with his severe lack of tan. Cyanide, looking down on the pained senior citizen, again feels empathy~

Smith: It’s instinct, Hood. You can’t help but to feel remorse when you see that old, dilapidated man lying on the mat.

Hood: Well that’s great and all…hooray compassion! But wait until he gets up and drills you in the temple.

Smith: Maybe Cyanide has gone soft in his old age. It does happen. Perhaps he’s been doing charity in retirement homes over the years.

Hood: That would explain the funky smell

~Cyanide reaches down. Is it to yank or help Ehud up? We’ll never know. The minute AgCN’s face gets in range, Ehud throws a quick left-right jab combo, smacking Cyanide’s head around, causing the former OCW Champion to stumble back, fall through the ropes, and land on the apron. He sits up, on the apron, legs dangling over the edge, rubbing his face. He stares at the ground before looking peripherally over at Mario. His eyes say, “What the fuck?!” Mario motions for AgCN to get back in there, once again. Ehud is slowly returning to his feet~

Smith: I love the elderly. I do as much as I can for the senior citizen community. However, at this juncture, I think it’s time for Cyanide to unleash some of his patented offense.

Hood: Remove the gloves, so to speak?

Smith: Yes, remove the gloves!

Hood: But then he might get old people germs on his hands

~Cyanide steps back into the ring with a renewed sense of determination. He heads over to Ehud, who is finally standing. Ehud turns around and glares at AgCN. Cyanide rears back and punches Ehud in the face!! Ehud bends over, reaching for his face…his posture and movements are those of a weak, feeble man. Cyanide throws his arms in the air and says “I don’t know why, but that’s it.” He heads over and tags Mario in~

Smith: I think Cyanide has had enough of fighting an old man

Hood: Damned if you do, damned if you don’t

Smith: Given Mario’s intentions during what is likely his final OCW run…I doubt we’ll see any mercy

Hood: Mario is about to fuck Ehud up!

~Ehud straightens up and holds his fists high. He tells Mario to, “Bring what you’ve got, son.” Mario doesn’t flinch. Ehud throws a right hand, Mario ducks it and slugs Ehud in the gut with a right fist! Ehud stumbles backward while doubling over. Mario straightens Ehud up and delivers a vicious knife edged chop into the chest portion of his red and white flannel shirt. Ehud stumbles forward with a wince and a cough. Mario stays after him~

Smith: These fans don’t really know what to think. They love Mario…but he is beating up on an old man. It’s a visual conflict

Hood: Hey, look…if Ehud can’t take it then he shouldn’t have signed up

Smith: There is that argument.

~Mario shoves Ehud from behind, sending the elderly man into a corner. Ehud turns around, slowly. Mario raises his arm with his hand open…he brings his open hand crashing down with a thunderous slap into Ehud’s chest! The fans at ringside all wince. Even Cyanide looks away. Ehud stumbles forward, dropping to one knee, holding his chest. Mario grabs Ehud from behind, by the waist and deadlifts the elderly man. The fans hold their breath. He might be the oldest man about to suffer a german suplex. Mario tosses Ehud over his head with a Release German Suplex!!! Ehud hits hard! The crowd emits a painful groan. Ehud winds up on his back, still. Mario heads over, looking for the pin. Biff remains in his team’s corner, looking on without a care in the world~

1!

2!

Shoulder Up!

Smith: Ehud got the shoulder up!

Hood: Yea, I heard the damn thing pop

Smith: Biff seems casual

Hood: He knows Ehud better than the rest of us. I’m sure he understands it’s going to take a lot more than a few chops and a german suplex to keep the toughest man in Moab history down for the three count

~Mario snares Ehud by his long, thin white hair. He gets to his feet, bringing Ehud along for the ride. Ehud throws a few jabs into Mario’s body. Maurako is mostly unaffected. He delivers a vicious forearm uppercut which lands right beneath Ehud’s chin!! Ehud flies into the ropes! The ropes shoot him forward…he throws a haymaker, utilizing the unexpected momentum…it lands right across Mario’s face!! Maurako staggers to the side! The crowd actually pops for Ehud’s offense! Ehud stumbles to one knee~

Smith: Whoa! Ehud showing some life!

Hood: Now would be a good time to tag Bifford

Smith: Indeed…Mario is not going to be happy once he recovers

~Ehud rises up and turns, facing Bifford. He’s, maybe eight feet away. He begins his march toward tagging the OCW Hall of Famer. Biff, still sporting his MAGICAL FLEECE, waits, patiently. He doesn’t have his arm outstretched for he knows it’s going to be a long and arduous march before Ehud reaches him. Mario, meanwhile, regains full control of his faculties and sees Ehud slowly making his way toward a tag. Maurako walks up…he doesn’t run or hurry – there is no need. He walks up, grabs Ehud from behind, hooks him for a Full Nelson, lifts him up, spins around and plants him dead center in the ring with a Full Nelson Slam!!! Ehud hits hard…Mario goes for another pin thinking this has to be it~

1!

2!

Shoulder Up!!

Smith: Ehud with the shoulder up for the second time this match!

Hood: The old man is tough. He’s like a piece of homemade beef jerky purchased at a dirty gas station off the freeway. You know, the gas station that has no other station around it for miles and miles

Smith: I wouldn’t know, Hood. I plan my road trips out extensively. I make sure to stop at the freshest, cleanest locations

Hood: Man, you are the most boring mother fucker alive

~Mario grows frustrated. He obviously feels as though Ehud should have been put away. I mean the guy is pushing, like 90! Mario returns to his feet and stomps on Ehud, out of frustration. Ehud’s thin, white hair flails around due to the impact. Cyanide looks on from the corner probably glad it’s Mario doling out this beating. Mario yanks Ehud to his feet and whips him into a corner. Mario tries to sprint in behind Ehud, but runs into Ehud’s back! The toes of Mario’s boots trip over Ehud’s heels, sending Mario to his knees. Ehud staggers forward, grabbing the corner for support. He turns around and raises his fist. Mario, staring at the mat, returns to his feet, seething. He is greeted by an onslaught of rights and lefts from Ehud!! The crowd is going wild! Ehud is really hammering Mario! Mario’s head bounces around, back and forth in correspondence with each blow. Ehud rears back and delivers a haymaker that sends Mario to the mat! An ‘EHUD!’ chant breaks out! These fans love Mario…but, I mean, c’mon…how are you not going to root for an old man~

Smith: Ehud is on fire! Unbelievable!

Hood: He hasn’t moved that fast since he disembarked the Titanic

Smith: Ehud wasn’t on the Titanic!

Hood: Yes he was…he commandeered one of the escape boats.

Smith: FAKE NEWS

Hood: He actually deflowered Rose before Jack had the opp…

Smith: YOU WILL NOT DEFILE MY FAVORITE MOVIE WITH YOUR SLIMY COMMENTARY

~Ehud turns and walks toward Biff. Mario sits up, shaking his head…he’s probably feeling several different forms of confusion. He reaches his feet and heads over to Cyanide. AgCN reluctantly extends his hand. Mario tags Silver Cyanide into the match and points with his thumb, over his back, while exiting. Cyanide is a laid back guy, most of the time, so he enters the ring and does as Mario instructs. Ehud continues to walk toward Biff. He’s taking his time~

Smith: If Ehud could get to Bifford before Cyanide reaches him…the outlook of this match would drastically change

Hood: We’ve got a heart patient, an old man, and a guy who SHOULD be a heart patient. So, my question is…what’s Cyanide’s deal?

Smith: Does he have to have a deal?

Hood: Is it true he sits alone in hotel rooms fantasizing about old women?

Smith: How on EARTH would I know that?

~Cyanide reaches Ehud before the man from Moab can make the tag. Bifford appears frustrated. Cyanide turns Ehud around. Ehud lifts a knee into Cyanide’s groin!! AgCN falls to the mat. Ehud says, “Sorry, son.” He turns around and continues walking toward Biff. The fans are torn on his recent act~

Smith: I guess, at some point in every man’s life they simply do what must be done

Hood: Oh and you’re going to suddenly condone cheating

Smith: I’m not condoning it! I’m simply saying he did what he had to do. The real argument here is why a man who can’t walk halfway across the ring in under five minutes competing

Hood: Because nobody else would team with Bifford

~Ehud continues the march…this might be the REAL Death March. Cyanide sits up. He sees Ehud nearing Biff. He hurries to get up. Bifford’s MAGICAL FLEECE begins to shake. It isn’t alive or anything, it’s just Biff shaking his arm, trying to entice Ehud to hurry up. Ehud pauses and begins to extend his hand for a tag. This, too, is taking forever. The fans are chanting “HURRY UP, EHUD…HURRY UP!” AgCN reaches his feet and rushes over. Bifford, realizing it’s time to kick into action, reaches out and slaps Ehud on the shoulder! Scruff signals for a tag! Cyanide comes to a stop as Bifford enters into the ring and slowly removes his MAGICAL FLEECE. He throws it over the top rope…it lands safely outside. Bifford slams his fists into his belly, showing that he’s ready to fight~

Smith: And Bifford is in the match!

Hood: I think we need to buy Ehud some roller skates. It would make life so much easier

Smith: I can’t really picture Ehud on roller skates

Hood: *whimsical sigh* I sure can

~Cyanide hits the ropes and leaps at Biff with a shoulder block. He falls to the mat. AgCN sits up and slaps the mat. He’s more than likely wondering why the hell he tried that. He returns to his feet and circles the behemoth. He almost runs into Ehud, who is finally starting to lift his leg over the middle rope. Cyanide leans into the ropes and bounces off again. Biff throws a huge clothesline…Cyanide ducks…he hits the ropes and leaps into the air with a crossbody. Biff catches AgCN. He falls straight to the mat, with Cyanide in his arms, crushing him into the canvas. Biff’s massive body smothers Cyanide…Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

Shoulder Up!

Smith: Bifford is so heavy that any pin attempt could be considered game ending

Hood: Well, no shit. You try wiggling out from under five hundred pounds.

Smith: Luckily…

Hood: Yea, yea…I’ll stop you right there. Nobody wants to hear about your sex life.

~Bifford returns to his feet. We see Ehud has finally made it, safely, onto the apron. Bifford steps back and leans against the ropes. They nearly break. He slingshots off and jumps as high as he can with an elbow drop. Cyanide moves! Bifford’s elbow jams into the mat!!! He reaches, grasping at it in pain. Cyanide rushes over and tags Mario back in. Maurako, covered in his own sweat and looking like he’s on the wrong side of healthy, enters. Cyanide asks if he’s okay. Mario gives a perfunctory response. Again, Cyanide is somewhat miffed by his attitude. But, he probably just attributes it to the fact that he’s in the same room as Bifford~

Smith: Bifford is down!

Hood: Is it odd to say that Biff and Ehud seem to work better, as a team, than the two guys with an actual team name

Smith: Bifford and Ehud have a tag name!

Hood: That name doesn’t count

~They work to get the behemoth up. Cyanide has him hooked for an STO. Mario looks around, at the fans. They know what’s coming~

Smith: Derailment! If they hit this it’s over!

Hood: Shit just got real

Smith: Indeed

~Mario locks in the beginnings of a Russian Leg Sweep. The two Hall of Famers look at one another, preparing to execute the move. Bifford powers up!! He lifts his giant arms and throws Mario and Cyanide off him!! Mario stumbles into the ropes. Cyanide flies through the ropes, landing outside. Mario looks at Biff, stunned by his strength~

Smith: Bifford’s attitude has a way of making people forget that he’s a very, very dangerous competitor

Hood: Classic misdirection. Biff does something goofy so you think he’s a joke. Then he murders you.

Smith: I think his murdering days are over.

Hood: As far as you know

~Mario coughs a very painful sounding cough. He returns to his feet, leaning against the ropes. He feels someone behind him – it’s Ehud, standing on the apron. Mario turns around and decks Ehud!! The man from Moab flies off the apron, landing roughly outside. Bifford’s eyes become filled with rage!! He charges at Mario! Mario ducks, pulling down on the top rope!! Bifford flips over the top rope and lands on the apron! This creates one of the loudest thuds in OCW history. Mario crawls toward the center of the ring, coughing~

Smith: That’s a nasty sounding cough

Hood: I had no idea Mario was such a heavy smoker

Smith: I don’t think he is, Hood

Hood: Ah, he must be getting over a cold. What a dick. Stepping into that ring, sweating all over everyone hoping they get sick. And people say Biff’s the asshole

~ We see EARL the popcorn salesman rush down with Bifford’s OCW Title! He hands it to the ‘champ’. He spots Ehud and rushes over, checking on the former sheriff of Moab. Mario returns to his feet. He heads over to Bifford. Bifford conceals the title. Mario gets Bifford up and turns him around…only for Bifford to slam him in the head with the Splenda comprised OCW championship!!! White powder flies everywhere! Scruff is blinded! Mario is blinded. Biff seems unscathed. He looks at the belt, wondering why it keeps exploding when used~

Smith: Not again!

Hood: The Splenda DEATH spot

Smith: Who let Earl into Club Space? This isn’t fair!

Hood: And yet you didn’t bat an eye when Mario punched a 90 year old man. Tremendous morals, man

~Biff steps into the ring and tosses his belt aside. It winds up in the crowd. Fans rush to use it to sweeten their drinks. Ehud sits up…he eyes Mario. “I’m coming,” he says. He starts to get up. Earl backs away knowing that you don’t mess with an angry Ehud. Biff steps into the ring, his belly becoming very familiar with the middle rope. He reaches out and grabs Mario by the throat. Mario, his face covered in Splenda, tries to fight Biff off. Scruff is doubled over, trying to remove the Splenda from his eyes. We see Cyanide slide into the ring!! Our view is tainted…it’s like watching a football game seconds after a ridiculous amount of pyro. Cyanide hooks Biff for the STO! Biff is confused. He’s thrown…SHOOK, even. Mario breaks free! He spins around, hooks Biff for a Russian Leg Sweep and takes him down along with AgCN who delivers his STO!!! Biff is down!! The crowd leaps to their feet, going wild! Mario looks to finally slay the beast~

Smith: Derailment! This one should be over!

Hood: WEAK ASS, WEAK ASS!

Smith: Pin him, Mario! Shut that bully up!

~Mario manages to roll Biff onto his back. It takes some effort, even for a man as muscular as Mario. He covers Bifford. Scruff is still trying to get the Splenda out of his eyes. The fans are yelling and screaming “COUNT! COUNT!” Scruff finally comes to his senses and drops to the mat, making the count~

1!

2!

3!

NO!!

Smith: Biff kicked out!

Hood: Did he? It’s so fucking cloudy out there.

Smith: Scruff says that he did!

Hood: Well what do you know…Bifford defies Mario, yet again!

~Mario slams the mat with his fist. He returns to his feet, furious. The Splenda smokescreen is all but gone. Mario starts to pull Bifford up. He yells at Cyanide. Cyanide suggests they try another Derailment. He extends his arm for the tag. Mario refuses to tag Cyanide…instead, he suggest that they pull something out of the Perfectly Marvelous playbook~

Smith: Uh oh…I think I know what Mario has in mind. Blast from the Past

Hood: Didn’t he try that at Death March?

Smith: He did and Paras was unable to finish the move, leading to Mario’s elimination.

Hood: Fuck…so he’s either going to right a wrong or prove to us all that he’s insane.

~Mario hoists Biff up, in position. His legs shake under the giant’s weight. Sweat is leaking from the top of his head, down his cheeks, dripping off his chin. His red is as red as a face can be without being soaked in blood. Cyanide gets into position. Mario yells out “HURRY UP!” Scruff stands back, watching…contemplating a potential disqualification~

Smith: If Mario can keep Bifford elevated they will hit Blast from the Past! Then, it’s up to Scruff on what happens next

Hood: DQ these cheating bastards, Scruff!

Smith: Kinda hard to make that argument after The Splenda Incident – 2.0

~Cyanide jumps up onto the top rope. Mario, once again, yells at him to hurry. He drops down from the top rope and lunges forward with a SUPERKICK! to the back of Mario’s head!! The crowd is shocked! They are stunned into silence. Mario drops Biff to the mat and stumbles around. He staggers to face Cyanide, clearly dazed and bewilidered. Cyanide throws ANOTHER superkick!!! This one drops Mario to the mat! The fans boo heavily! Cyanide looks down at Mario and shakes his head. He heads for the ropes, exiting the ring and walking up the aisle way as fans let him hear their displeasure~

Smith: What was that for?!

Hood: Well, we can’t blame the Splenda cloud.

Smith: Nope

~Bifford returns to his feet. He isn’t 100% sure what happened…but he’s been around long enough to figure it out. He grabs Mario, lifts him up and drops him with The Biff End!! The fans boo! Bifford makes the cover~

1!

2!

3!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here are your winners…EHUFFORD!!!!!

Smith: No! No!!

Hood: Oh man, Biff wins again. Mario is going to be pissed.

Smith: Cyanide turned on Mario, I can’t believe it! It led to Mario being pinned by the wrestler he hates the most!

Hood: Does he hate Bifford more than TGO?

Smith: Yes! I don’t’ know why Cyanide would do such a thing – costing his friend a match of this magnitude, a shot at tag team gold.

Hood: He might have been hallucinating. Maybe he thought Mario was some tv villain from the 80s.

Smith: I don’t think so, Hood

~Bifford rolls out of the ring. As he does, he runs into Ehud who is just now reaching the ring. He wants to climb in and pay Mario back. Bifford talks him out of it, saying they must head to the back and celebrate their win by building a new OCW Title. He lifts Ehud up, into his arms, and carries him to the back. Mario remains on his back, in the ring, staring at the lights. OCW medics rush in to check on the aging veteran who is clearly off balance, mentally~

Smith: Mario’s health has been a concern since his return. That combined with this betrayal…I don’t know, Hood. That might be more than he can bear.

Hood: Do you realize that Ehud has a chance to be a champion in OCW?

Smith: Ugh – Bifford

Hood: You know, I was writing his name down a minute ago and I almost wrote Fibbord. I think that might be a good nickname for Biff moving forward – Fibbord.

Smith: Let’s cut to the back. I can’t take any more of this Bifford nonsense

~We cut to a shot of the Mike Roth Invitational Tournament Brackets~

Smith: The first round matches begin next week!

Hood: That...looks like a very interesting field

Smith: Indeed!

"WHEN ITS TIME TO PARTY, WE WILL PARTY HARD!"

~The fans cheer as these words hit the speakers, but stop when a record scratching can be heard. Suddenly a drum beat can be heard as "Radio Gaga" by Queen starts playing! Out walks General Manager Mike Zybala, dressed in jeans, a white T-shirt, an opened Member's Only jacket, and sporting a stylish pair of sunglasses. His outfit screams the 80's. He's dancing and singing along to the classic song, clapping over his head at the right times along with the audience members that know this Queen hit. He finally makes it to the ring and gets in. The music starts to dim, but Zybala shakes his head and points a finger up to indicate raise the volume. The song gets louder as fans cheer. Who doesn't love Queen? Finally, the song is over and the fans are cheering!~

Hood: Normally, I would complain about Zybala taking all this time to let a song play out, but it's fucking Queen. This one time, he gets a pass.

Smith: I'm suuuure he'll be very gracious that you allowed this.

Hood: He fucking better be.

~The fans start to quiet down a bit as Zybala raises a microphone~

Zybala: What's up, dudes and dudettes?! I hope you all are ready for a totally righteous and tubular Throwback! We have some gnarly and rad matches for you tonight and I know you're all itching to get this show on the road and for me to stop with the 80's jargon. Before we start the show, I have an announcement.

After trying to contact Marcus Welsh for over a month now with no luck, I have been forced to look elsewhere. After reviewing my options and giving everyone careful consideration, only one person came to mind. I can't really pick a current roster member because I couldn't guarantee that they wouldn't abuse the power, so sorry to those that were hoping I would pick them.

The person I did go with however is one I feel would be a good addition to the staff and someone who, unlike Welsh, can make unbiased judgements because he doesn't seem to have issues with anyone. This man seems to try his best to get along with everyone, regardless of who they are or who his "special friend" dislikes.

~The fans are buzzing at the phrase "special friend"~

Smith:.....nooooo..... You don't think?

Hood: It couldn't be. Why would he pick HIM???

Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen, please help me in welcoming the new OCW commissioner.......GREG!!

~The crowd pops when they hear Greg’s name! A few men in the crowd get a little ‘saucy’. You can draw your own conclusions. Zybala smiles upon hearing the positive response.~

Zybala: Greg, I look forward to working with you and see how you stack up to the legacy left behind by our old commissioner. Well that's all I have to say folks. Enjoy the show!!

~Zybala leaves the ring and heads up the ramp towards the back~

Smith: Well this will be interesting.

Hood: It's great! Good to see some part of Mr. Welsh will be in power, even if that part is Greg.

Smith: This night continues to get interesting. But, I guess that's to be expected with the first PPV under Zybala's leadership. Well, Hood...it's time to step into the final phase of this evening's competition

Hood: The ascension of King Infinity followed by the dominance of Matt Meyhu setting up King Infinity's coronation as the new FACE of OCW

Smith: That could very well happen. Hang on, fans...the OCW Savage Title is going to be brutal...and it is next

OCW #1 Contenders Match
For the OCW Savage Championship
Bloodsport Match
Vincent ‘The Legend’ Langston © (20-2) vs. “King Infinity” Aidan Collins (12-1)

~Club Space is throbbing to the tune of “ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK” by Murray Head. And, no, for you youngsters wondering…Murray Head isn’t the detached head of OCW legend Andy Murray belting out some very 80ish lyrics. That would be way too macabre for THROWBACK. Nah, man, it’s an actual band. You want to know more about this band? Google them. The line “I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine” is censored for obvious reasons as men and women grind all up on one another. Sure, this isn’t your typical bump and grind tune but since when did people need an excuse to get all up on one another? Belvedere suddenly clears his throat. A few dorks dressed like Rick Astley (no association with Murray Head) bitch a fit…they felt as though they were getting awfully close to getting their kicks beneath the waistline, sunshine. The rest of the crowd goes wild…especially when they notice the removal of the ropes. It’s time to get slap happy~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for our semi-Main Event of the evening!! This match is for the Savage Championship!! It is a Bloodsport match…the ropes have been removed. There are no disqualifications. There are no countouts. The only way to win this match is by rendering your opponent unconscious or forcing them to quit. The winner of this match will receive an OCW Championship match at OCW’s next Pay Per View event! Introducing first…the challenger…

Smith: Here comes King Infinity!

Hood: He should NEVER be known as the challenger.

Smith: But, he is

Hood: Nope...whoever is facing King Infinity is always the challenger for they have accepted the challenge of attempting to survive – Aidan Collins

Smith: That’s ridiculous

Hood: Is it? Or is it so true that it blows your mind?

~”Penetrating Eye” by Thee Oh Sees blares throughout Club Space!! The fans give a healthy, positive ovation when they hear the familiar song begin to play. The 1980’s themed curtain is thrust aside as King Infinity makes his appearance. He pauses, looking around, taking in the audience. The guy has a poker face but we’re going to go with ‘acceptable’ as his reaction to the atmosphere. He makes his way to the ring and takes a lap. A few fans reach out, trying to get their hands on King Infinity. A burgeoning female wrestler leans over, trying to touch him. Aidan pauses, trying to figure out where he recognizes her from. He realizes his error. He’s staring at her face. He looks at her tits and ass and goes “Ah, you’re @randomwhore69. Welcome to Throwback!” He turns and starts to roll into the ring but pauses, realizing there are no ropes. So he steps up onto the apron and enters into the ring~

Belvedere: From Hell’s Kitchen, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs…he is the future FACE of OCW…ladies and gentlemen…he is “King Infinity” Aidan Collins!!!

Smith: King Infinity looks to be in great shape. He’s ready

Hood: He’s always ready, Smith. The man has an infinite amount of readiness

Smith: Okay

Belvedere: And, his opponent…

~"I Am Legend" by Colton Dixon hits. The majority of the nostalgic fans in attendance boo!! Collins nods, deeming that the people of Miami have good taste. He leans against a bare post, awaiting the arrival of his opponent. Langston throws the 1980’s curtain aside and marches toward the ring. His eyes are focused on Collins. They never deviate. He hustles up the steps and steps onto the mat. He continues marching toward Collins, removing his belt in the process. Aidan’s brow furrows…he begins to wonder if Langston is going to stop coming at him~

Belvedere: From…OOF

~Langston shoves Belvedere out of the way!! Belvedere, a consummate professional, snares the Savage belt before leaving the ring. Aidan stands up straight…he starts to say, “Hey, idiot, what are you…” but he can’t finish! Langston reaches forward, grabbing Collins by the neck!! The crowd boos loudly!! Langston slings Collins from the post, into the center of the ring. He hoists Collins up in the air and slams him into the mat with a sitout powerbomb! Scruff slides in the ring and calls for the bell! It rings! Langston hovers over Aidan and begins to punch him in the head~

Smith: No introduction for The Legend…his fury is uncontrollable

Hood: I didn’t know Vincent was from OOF

Smith: He’s not…that was the sound of Belvedere being shoved mid-sentence

Hood: Where is OOF? Sounds like it might be in Wisconsin…maybe Minnesota

~Collins tries to cover up. The back of his head slams into the mat repeatedly. Langston, displaying some MMA smarts, looks to go for a mount. He swings his leg over and achieves mount position!! The crowd is on their feet…they’ve watched MMA…they know a person can be knocked out with ease when put into this prone position. Langston begins to pummel Collins with lefts and rights. Aidan, sensing he’s in trouble, lunges upward with his head. His forehead drills Vincent in the crotch!! This paralyzes the big man long enough for Collins to slip his shoulders and arms free. Once free to use his hands, Collins punches Langston in the groin once, twice…three times! Langston finally covers up and rolls away, curled up. The crowd pops for Aidan’s surprisingly quick escape. The cerebral competitor remains on his back, keeping a peripheral eye on The Legend as he, like Vincent, works on regaining his in-ring equanimity~

Smith: A fast start…Langston was ready, but Aidan has countered

Hood: Nothing stops the mount quite like several vicious blows to the dick. It’s a wonder you don’t see that more often in MMA

Smith: It’s illegal in MMA

Hood: And this is why people hate MMA

~Aidan sits up and returns to his feet. He feels around his heated, agitated face. He frowns with anger and heads over to Langston. He reaches down to snare Langston by his beard, but Vincent swivels his hips and looks to lock in a triangle!! Aidan, knowing exactly what’s being attempted, backs away and rips his arm free. He staggers back, into the post and nearly falls out of the ring. He looks around, remembering there are no ropes. Langston returns to his feet and charges at King Infinity. Aidan turns around just in time to dodge the oncoming Legend. Langston extends his hands, grabbing the post to keep from running into it and falling out of the ring. Aidan comes running up from behind Langston. He leaps up, looking for something resembling a backstabber…Vincent, though, ducks and manages to get Collins on his shoulders, in the Electric Chair position. Vincent eyes the post…Aidan eyes the post (albeit in a far more frantic manner). Vincent positions himself, ready to fall forward…Collins suddenly flips around and leans back with a Frankensteiner!! He tosses Langston into the post, shoulder first! Vincent SLAMS into the metal and tumbles down, onto the steps, before hitting the floor. Collins, somehow, manages to avoid calamity by leaning up, against his elbows with the post at his back. The crowd cheers~

Smith: Aidan Collins, for the second time, avoids disaster

Hood: Langston may be bigger…he may be stronger…but King Infinity is smarter.

Smith: I think you are undervaluing Vincent Langston’s aptitude

Hood: Hey! Langston was never a member of The Aptitude! Quit trying to rewrite history you fucking fascist!

~Collins sits up and spins around, placing his feet on the steps. He descends down the steps to the floor. Langston is holding his shoulder, grimace contorts his face (not the McDonald’s guy aka Ehud’s nemesis). Collins throws a swift kick into Vincent’s afflicted shoulder. He writhes and flips his position to keep the shoulder away from Aidan. Collins rips Langston to his feet, annoyed. He whips Langston into the steps via his good shoulder, hoping to slam the weak shoulder into the steps…Langston reverses!! Collins leaps into the air, landing atop the steps. He pauses and points at his head, showing the fans that brains always best brawn. He jumps off with a spinning round house kick…Langston catches him!! Vincent falls back and throws Collins over his head with a Fall Away Slam!!! Collins lands hard and arches his back in pain~

Smith: Aidan’s arrogance caught up with him!

Hood: That big oaf from oof…how dare he throw King Infinity around like that!

Smith: Thus far it has felt as though Aidan has avoided disaster on multiple occasions. Not that time

Hood: You’re so fucking repetitive when it comes to calling Langston’s offense on King Infinity

~Langston sits up and rotates his wounded shoulder. He winces, but finds it painfully functional. He returns to his feet knowing he can’t linger. He stomps on Collins, keeping King Infinity down. He grabs Collins by the throat and waistband of shorts. He yanks Collins off the ground in a dead lift. Langston’s arms quiver from the weight of King Infinity…but his base remains sturdy. With a loud grunt, he deadlifts Collins up, over his head, much to the crowd’s amazement. His entire body shivers under the weight of Collins (combined with the energy expended). Langston tosses Collins, head over heels, flipping King Infinity over in the air causing him to land back first atop the steel steps!!! There is a loud thud!! Aidan promptly rolls off the steps and holds his back~

Smith: Oh my goodness! Aidan’s back has got to be compromised after that!

Hood: Langston is freakishly strong. Don’t they call that retard strength?

Smith: Do you have to use the R word?

Hood: I don’t know, do you have to refer to retard as the R word?

~Langston snares the upper portion of the two tiered steps and hoists them above his head. He grimaces…the dead lift of Aidan Collins combined with the post shot has really worn his shoulder down. But, the Legend is powering through. He stands over Aidan, who is on all fours. He brings the steps crashing down! Aidan rolls out of the way, up against the barricade. The steps SLAM into the outside floor. Langston recoils due to the jarring of his hands. Aidan reaches up, returning to his feet via the barricade’s assistance. He charges at Langston…Vincent snares Aidan mid stride, lifts him up and plants him on the bottom tier of steps with a SPINEBUSTER!!! Collins hits hard and remains on the steps, arching his back, gritting his teeth~

Smith: Up to this point Langston appears to be the fresher, stronger, quicker competitor…it isn’t looking good for the ascension of King Infinity

Hood: Chill…the big guy is going to wear out. This is pure rope-a-dope strategy by King Infinity.

Smith: He needs to be able to stand in order for it to pay off, Hood. Right now his back is taking a brutal beating

Hood: He’ll be fine! Stop talking crazy over there!

~Langston does not relent. He snares Collins and hoists King Infinity over his shoulder. He eyes the barricade. He charges forward and flips Collins over, slamming his back into the edge of the barricade!!! King Infinity yells out in pain, falling to the floor on the back of his head and neck! He slides down, wedged against the barricade. His legs fall to the side, leaving him wrecked, on the floor, up against the partition separating the wrestlers from the fans. Langston heads toward the steps and begins to arrange them in similar fashion~

Smith: We saw Langston do this two weeks ago against Ed

Hood: Ah, yea…I thought I was experiencing déjà vu! Didn’t the fucker crash and burn?

Smith: Yes, he did

Hood: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them piss

Smith: Yea, I…what?!

~Vincent has the two tiers of steps arrange next to one another, creating a doubled steel platform. He snares Aidan, yanking King Infinity back to his feet. He boots Collins in the gut and hooks him for a powerbomb. He turns, facing the steps and hoists Aidan up for a Last Ride! Collins rakes Vincent in the eyes and lands on his feet behind the Legend! He stumbles toward the barricade and flips over, into the crowd, hoping to find respite. Langston staggers forward, bending over at the waist, catching his weight with his hands atop the steps. He turns toward the crowd, angrily~

Smith: I’ll give Collins credit for one attribute he has in abundance…the man is a survivor.

Hood: You think he’d be a two time Survivor champion…had he played in both seasons?

Smith: I doubt it.

Hood: He was probably banned due to his incredible survival capabilities

~Langston heads over toward the barricade with one thing on his mind – destruction. He reaches the barricade and leans over…he suddenly stumbles backward! A splash of brown liquid hit him in the face!! Collins stands up, reaching for his back. He crumples up a paper COCA COLA cup and staggers further into the crowd. A fan, holding a giant bucket of popcorn says, “NOW HOW AM I GONNA WASH THIS DOWN?” Collins punches him and takes his popcorn, handing it over to a scrawny kid with parents that appear to be very poor. They smile and say, “Thank you Aidan…or, should we say – Robin.” Collins demands payment for his kindness, in the form of a chair. He takes the man’s chair and folds it up. Langston, by this point, already has one leg over the barricade, as he wipes the last remaining sticky trail of soda from his face~

Smith: He giveth and he taketh away

Hood: You calling King Infinity the lord?

Smith: Certainly not!

Hood: You know, we might be related

Smith: Who?

Hood: Me and Lord Infinity

Smith: And how do you figure that?

Hood: He’s a modern day Robin Hood. My name is Hood. It’s science

~Langston brings the other leg over and is met with a steel chair shot to the afflicted shoulder!! He stumbles sideways, bumping into some fans. Collins winds the chair back up and delivers another shot to Langston’s shoulder. He lets go of the chair with one hand after the second swing and reaches for his back. Langston, holding shoulder, spots the opening and lunges forward with a big boot. Collins ducks the boot, spins around and jams the top of the chair into Langston’s shoulder!! Finally, the big man is forced to retreat, stumbling through the crowd. Collins leans up against the barricade, working his back around, trying to alleviate some of the pressure packed pain. He keeps the chair handy (because it’s in his hand, get it? Ha ha)~

Smith: The great equalizer

Hood: King Infinity’s talent?

Smith: No, a weapon in the form of a steel chair

Hood: Yea, well, if Langston doesn’t like it then he should’ve just dropped the Savage belt to Ed Houston

~King Infinity finally gives chase, knowing he’s got a wounded animal. The Legend throws some fans to the side, opening up their seats. He takes a seat, clutching his shoulder. Collins speeds up into a jog. He reaches back with the chair and takes a home run swing at Langston’s head. Vincent drops to his knees! Collins slams his chair into the chairs Langston was occupying…it makes a long CLANG!! It sends one of the chairs flying. Aidan drops his chair, holding his hand, cursing. Langston returns to his feet and spins Aidan around…he begins to hit him with right hands (his good shoulder). King Infinity staggers down a path way that’s been cleared by OCW security and fans. Collins staggers back…his feet nearly get caught in some cables. His back runs into a wooden wall which raises up, leading to an elevated DJ stage/platform. He hesitates for a moment, digesting his surroundings. Vincent reaches back, looking for a haymaker…Aidan lunges forward, grabbing Langston’s limp, left arm and he yanks down on it!! Vincent yells out in pain, dropping to one knee. Collins thrusts his knee forward, slamming it into The Legend’s face!! Langston falls to his side. Collins yells out, “Where the hell is Scruff?!” As if on cue, Scruff comes jogging into view with a handful of SKITTLES. He throws them back and stands over Langston. He begins to count~

Smith: Langston took a wicked knee to the face. That could be the knockout blow Aidan was looking for

Hood: I hope so…Aidan is going to need a healthy back when he hoists the Savage and OCW Titles in the air a month or so from now

Smith: I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves…putting the cart before the horse

Hood: I didn’t grow up on a farm so I have no idea what you’re talking about

~Scruff yells out “FOUR!” Langston begins to move. Aidan notices this and pushes Scruff to the side telling him to stop counting. King Infinity is veteran enough to recognize when a ten count is unattainable. He snares one of the cords and begins to wrap it around Vincent’s wounded shoulder. Langston looks around like a drunk with a wicked hangover on Sunday at, say ten in the morning. King Infinity makes several rotations around Langston’s arm in rapid fashion. He then ties a good, strong double knot right near the skin, keeping the cord tight and secure. He grabs the slack and locates a staircase leading to the top of the elevated DJ booth. He reaches the top, holding onto the cord. Vincent finally gains his bearings and looks down at the cord like “What the fuck?” He then looks up and sees King Infinity standing atop the elevated DJ booth with the other end of the cord in hand. His eyes widen and he rushes to try and get it off…unfortunately, the knot is too secure. Collins begins to pull on the cord, eating up the slack~

Smith: Oh no

Hood: I love it!

Smith: He’s going to hang Langston from the top of that DJ booth by his bad shoulder!

Hood: Now THAT’s SAVAGE

~Collins places his foot at the edge of the stage for leverage and he begins to pull back, once the slack has tightened. Langston’s arm is forcibly extended…he yells out, reaching for his shoulder. Collins eats up some more cord with his hands, pulling Langston’s arm up further. Vincent yells out again. He reaches, trying to grab Scruff, but the ref remains out of reach. He asks Langston if he wants to give it up…Vincent replies ‘NO!’ Collins pulls back even further…we see Langston’s feet rise up to their toes…he yells out even louder, reaching for his shoulder. He becomes frantic, grasping at the cord, trying to rip it off…but it’s secured so tight and has been wrapped around his arm several times~

Smith: He’s going to dislocate Langston’s shoulder…at the very least!

Hood: Maybe he’ll rip his arm off! Then Langston can become the one armed man

Smith: Why would you wish for that?

Hood: I’m looking out for the guy. Given his veteran status…his PTSD...if the dude lost an arm he’d be rolling in government dough

~Aidan works the cord, pulling on it. Langston’s feet leave the ground!! He’s now suspended in the air!! The cord is digging into his skin, almost disappearing at points due to walls of flesh consuming the skinny, black lines. King Infinity pulls and pulls…Langston is now a several feet in the air. His good arm continues grasping at the cord, but it simply isn’t doing any good. His bad arm is extended about as far as it can go. He’s grimacing. He places his hand and puts it into his mouth, biting down, fighting through the pain. Scruff yells up “You want to quit?” Langston shakes his head ‘NO’! Collins looks down, frustrated. He continues to pull, raising Langston higher and higher. We notice pain on Aidan’s face. The pressure of holding and pulling Langston’s weight is getting to him…we notice he’s using his back to do most of the heavy lifting~

Smith: Aidan is weakening! Can he hold out long enough to get Langston to quit?

Hood: I hope so! Quit you big goof! Live to fight another day!

Smith: Vincent Langston has likely never quit anything in his life…I doubt he’ll start tonight

Hood: Well then he’ll become a one armed freak. Congratulations, brave one

~Scruff reaches up, asking Langston again. We see Langston looking down. His eyes are growing heavy. Sweat is leaking from every pour, dripping to the ground where a shallow puddle of agony is forming. Collins yells out, pulling even hard, doing everything he can. Vincent finally stops reaching for the cord. It appears as though the pain is darkening his vision. His lights are going out. Scruff shakes his arm, “VINCENT! ANSWER ME!” Langston’s body hangs there like a criminal from a tightened noose. Aidan yells out, looking up into the ceiling, breathing heavily, fighting through his own pain, “IS HE OUT?” He gets not response, so he yells again, with more ferocity, “IS HE FUCKING OUT?!”~

Smith: I think Langston has passed out from the pain!

Hood: Sweet, ring the bell, let’s get out of here

Smith: Scruff has got to be sure

Hood: Well if that’s the case we’ll be here all night. Guy probably isn’t even sure who he is half the time!

~Collins weakens a bit. He lets an inch of cord go, dropping Langston ever so slightly. His grip, his back is about to give out. The jolt wakes Langston up. His eyes shoot open. Scruff yells out, “HE’S STILL IN IT!” Collins grits his teeth and shakes his head. His hands are covered in sweat. His arms shine in the Club Space spotlight. He’s drenched. He pulls back, yelling…giving it everything he’s got. Langston, using his good arm, reaches across his body and grabs hold of the cord! He takes in a few deep breaths and rips on the cord as hard as he can!!! He manages to pull Collins off the top of the stage!! The crowd shrieks in terror as King Infinity falls off the top of the stage, flips over and lands flat on his back on the concrete floor!! The fans yells “HOLY SHIT!” Langston drops like a bag of meat onto the concrete surface, as well. He rolls onto his back. Both men are out. Scruff looks around like “The fuck do I do now?” He gives it a few seconds before administering a count~

Smith: Vincent Langston just yanked Aidan Collins off that stage all the way to the floor!

Hood: NO!!! NOT KING INFINITY!

Smith: That was close to a fifteen foot drop! Both men have to be out…I think we’re going to see a draw, Hood.

Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING

~Scruff yells out “ONE!” The crowd rushes over, surrounding the two men, both on their back, five or six feet away from one another. The fans urge each man on, depending on who they favor. There are more people urging Collins than Langston. Scruff yells out “TWO!” The fans continue to urge them on. Scruff yells out “THREE!” A fan yells out “Come on, Aidan! You’re the FACE!” Scruff yells out “FOUR!” A butch woman wearing dog tags yells out, “Get up you fucking pussy!” at Langston. Scruff yells “FIVE!”~

Smith: We are halfway to ten and neither man has budged

Hood: Ugh, I’m going to be sick

Smith: As we take a look at that fall one more time…you can clearly see that Aidan’s back and arms had weakened considerably. That last, unexpected burst of energy from Langston was enough, given Aidan’s weakened state and his prone positioning, to pull King Infinity from the top of that booth all the way to the floor.

Hood: Yes, I know, we can all see it via the multiple, gratuitous replays!

Smith: I just figured, in case there was an audience incapable of seeing this…I figured I’d try and describe it to them.

Hood: Moron

~Scruff yells out “SIX!” The dog tag lady walks over to try and help Langston up. A fan wearing the King Infinity logo hurries over. Scruff yells “SEVEN!” The King Infinity fan grabs the butch female veteran and says “SIR!, NO TOUCHING!” The butch female veteran stands upright, wide eyed and furious. She yells out, “IT’S MA’AM!” and begins to brawl with the King Infinity fan. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” Langston sits up! He’s like some bionic freak…a cyborg made of flesh, hair and tattoos~

Smith: Langston is up! Oh my gosh! He’s on the verge of winning this!

Hood: GET UP AIDAN! FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER DIETY YOU WORSHIP…GET YOUR FUCKING ASS UP!

~Langston reaches his feet!! He stumbles into the side of the partition, holding his shoulder which appears to be separated. His left arm hangs weakly at his side. Scruff yells ‘NINE!’ Langston holds his wounded shoulder and places the back of his head against the wooden exterior of the booth. He starts to raise his right arm in triumph. The fans begin to boo heavily~

Smith: Langston is going to win!

Hood: GET UP!!!!

~Scruff yells “TE-“ but stops…King Infinity kips up out of nowhere!! The crowd is stunned! Scruff thrusts his head back like “holy shit!” Langston’s eyes widen as he leans in, trying to process what just happened. Collins remains on his feet. Scruff calls off the count and orders the match to continue!! Aidan takes a step forward before falling face first back to the ground! Scruff sucks down a lung’s worth of oxygen and yells out “ONE!”~

Smith: How did he do that?!

Hood: Because he transcends humanity…he defines masculinity…he is simply the greatest

Smith: He managed to remain on his feet long enough to break the count. Now Scruff has to start all over again

Hood: Smart man…drop back down, take a breather and then recharge for the home stretch

~Langston overcomes his shock and heads toward Collins. He yanks King Infinity to his feet and throws a spinning heel kick!! Aidan ducks the kick! He grabs the arm connected to Vincent’s bad shoulder and yanks down. Langston yells out in pain. Collins, holding onto the arm, pulls Langston in for Hell’s Kaleidoscope…Langston ducks! Collins stumbles toward the elevated DJ booth. He turns around, quickly, anticipating some Langston offense. Vincent charges toward him…Aidan ducks! Vincent RAMS his shoulder into the wooden exterior of the booth. Collins turns around, bends at the knees and takes off. He leaps through the air with The Ice Pick!!! Langston moves!! Collins crashes head first into the wooden exterior, creating a giant hole!!! The crowd pops for the impact!! The entire booth wobbles, nearly crumbling to the ground! Langston falls to his ass, holding his shoulder. We see Aidan’s legs hanging out from the hole, but his upper body concealed~

Smith: King Infinity tried to end it, twice

Hood: Ugh…get out of the way, Langston! This is King Infinity’s night! You can get an OCW title shot when he’s finished!

Smith: That’s not how it works here, Hood. You have to earn everything you get

~The Legend grabs Collins by his legs, dragging him out of the hole. Scruff, starts to count. Langston threatens to punch him. Scruff stops counting. We get a shot of Aidan’s head…it’s red and irritated but there’s no blood. Vincent drags him toward an open area. King Infinity manages to grab the cord he had used earlier to hang Langston. Vincent is unaware. Langston bends Collins over at the waist and hoists him up for a powerbomb!! Aidan wraps the cord around Langston’s throat and pulls it as tight as he can! Langston begins to choke! Despite his predicament, Vincent SLAMS King Infinity into the concrete floor with a powerbomb!!! Aidan yells out in pain, but he holds onto the cord, choking Langston. Vincent hoists him up again and drills him into the concrete with a SECOND powerbomb!!! Again Aidan yells out…but he maintains his grip on the cord. Langston pauses, struggling to find air~

Smith: Aidan Collins is trying to choke Langston out! Langston, meanwhile, is combating Aidan’s efforts by powerbombing his already weakened back into the concrete floor!

Hood: Geezus…these two are fucking each other up!

Smith: It’s brutal…what will be left of the winner?

Hood: A large medical bill, a savage title, and a smile.

~Vincent hoists Aidan up again…and he drops Collins as hard as he can onto the concrete for a third time. Aidan’s hands finally let go of the cord. His back is in too much pain. Langston removes the cord from his neck, freeing up his air passage. He lifts Aidan up and slams him down again and again and again, apparently trying to cripple the man. There isn’t much left of Aidan at this point. His back is wrecked…he appears to be unconscious. Langston, hoisting Aidan up, spins around, jumps into the air and drives Aidan into the concrete with what can only be described as an ULTIMATE POWERBOMB. Scruff leans in to check on Aidan…Vincent pushes him away~

Smith: Langston isn’t done!

Hood: Well of course not, dipshit…the match is still going on

Smith: I think Collins might be out

Hood: He isn’t out unless Scruff or some other authority figure says he’s out!

~Langston reaches for his shoulder. He drops to a knee. The adrenaline from nearly being choked out has worn off. His shoulder is KILLING him after all those powerbombs. Collins is down. The crowd suddenly reacts as we see OCW GM Mike Zybala enter into the scene. He bends down to check on Aidan~

Hood: The fuck is he doing out here?!

Smith: To check on one of his top stars, Hood!

Hood: He’s trying to fuck Aidan over again!

~Aidan begins to stir. He looks up at Zybala and tells him to ‘get the fuck away.’ Zybala asks if he can continue. Aidan nods…but he’s clearly in an altered state. The Legend, noticing Aidan’s movements, stands up, fighting through his own pain. The Legend pushes Zybala away…an act that doesn’t appear to please the GM. He reaches down, trying to pull Aidan to his feet using his good arm. Aidan miraculously pops to his feet, delivering a roundhouse kick to Vincent’s injured shoulder!! The sting stemming from the impact nearly crumbles the man. Aidan snares Vincent’s bad arm and winds up for Hell’s Kaleidoscope~

Smith: King Infinity isn’t human…he may be the FACE of OCW after all

Hood: I fucking told you!

~Collins pulls on the arm, looking for the ripcord lariat…Langston, though, dodges it for the second time this evening and manages to hold onto Aidan’s arm, transitioning into a Crossface (No Peace)!!! Vincent is in excruciating pain while executing the hold. He cranks back, really focusing on manipulating the pressure onto Aidan’s back. King Infinity yells out. He tries to eye gouge. He tries to rip at Langston’s nose. He finds the man’s ear and yanks on it. We see the lobe start to pull from Langston’s face, breaking the skin. Blood begins to ooze. Langston yells out, fighting through his shoulder and this ear pull. Aidan’s arms weaken…they start to go limp. Zybala rushes in, checking the situation~

Smith: Is he out?

Hood: He’s going to fight back…he always does. Give it time!

Smith: I think he’s out!

Hood: No, he’s not fucking out! Give it a few more seconds…count to ten! Give King Infinity time to make his comeback!

~Zybala has watched the match. He knows Aidan’s back is fucked. He sees Langston cranking back with this crossface. There are no ropes. There doesn’t seem to be any way for Aidan to escape. So, Zybala grabs Scruff and orders that the match be stopped~

Smith: Is he ordering a stoppage?

Hood: THAT MOTHER FUCKER

~Scruff, a loyal employee, calls for the bell. It rings!!! The fans are confused…they start to boo, realizing what’s taken place. Langston wants to hold onto the crossface but his shoulder is in too much pain. He lets it go and rolls away, clutching at his injured joint. Aidan, we see, roll onto his back, staring up at the lights~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND STILL OCW SAVAGE CHAMPION…VINCENT “THE LEGEND” LANGSTON!!!!!

Smith: Aidan isn’t going to like this

Hood: He was FUCKED

Smith: I beg to differ. Langston had him incapacitated…the longer he was in that hold, the more damage Langston was going to do to his back.

Hood: Give the man a chance to respond! A fucking ten count at least…I mean, c’mon!

~Langston doesn’t give a shit about the boos. He gets to his feet and leaves the crowd. He steps over the barricade, snares his title from Belvedere and exits, keeping his wounded shoulder pressed tightly to his body. King Infinity, meanwhile, is being treated with an ice pack on his back and a bottle of water. Zybala stands over him, looking down, concerned~

Smith: King Infinity will thank him later. Zybala may have saved his career.

Hood: Man if you think that’s how this is going to play out, I’ve got some ocean front property on Mars I’d like to offer you

~Aidan is helped to his feet. The fans are cheering his effort. A few of them yell out “YOU GOT FUCKED!” and “THIS IS A TRAVESTY!” One thing is clear, this crowd really wanted Aidan to win. King Infinity finally looks at Zybala. He reaches out and grabs Zybala by his shirt, balling the cloth into his fist~

Smith: Uh oh…is Collins going to fight Zybala?

Hood: I hope so. KILL HIM

~It appears as though rage is overtaking Aidan. The fans begin to chant “FACE!” at the man. Are they buying into the hype given the performance? Or, is it simply a case of liking him over the man he was feuding with? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out. The chants…the ovation…the showing of respect seem to cool the flame burning within him, slightly. He comes to his senses and releases Zybala. Zybala says, “It had to be done.” Collins has a look that seems to say, “I was going to come back and win.” He turns and limps away, holding his back. The crowd continues to show support for King Infinity. Zybala is left standing, near the cord…near the scene of the crime, wondering if he made the right call~

Smith: For what it’s worth, Mike. You made the right call in my book.

Hood: Yea well your book sucks ass. We all know King Infinity was…IS a Welsh guy. Zybala just couldn’t let him win tonight. He’s got to hold the Welsh guys down!

Smith: I don’t think Zybala is political, Hood. I think he does this because he loves it.

Hood: Nobody does this because they love it. They do it for money, for power, for trophies…but not for fucking love. Grow up, idiot

Smith: Ironic coming from a literal man child!

Hood: Hey! King Infinity just got screwed. I’m in no mood to be teased!

Smith: Well fans we're just about set for our main event...but first, while things continue to get cleaned up out here...let's take one more look at the graphic for our next PPV event!

~We return to the live feed~

Smith: That one will be interesting. Vincent Langston will challenge for the OCW Championship at Social Justice against one of the two men slated to compete in tonight’s main event

Hood: I’m ready!

Smith: But, before we get to that match...Hood...is there something you'd like to say?

Hood: Are you tired of drab, boring Sundays? Can you withstand the everlong wait to experience the excitement of Pay-Per-View? Well, OCW has just the thing for you - it’s OCW TV!

Smith: OCW TV? What’s that, Hood?

Hood: The newest in the brand extension of our signature flagship, Monday Night Massacre, that’s what!

Smith: Brand extension?

Hood: OCW TV is a monthly distributed production with some of our younger prospects right here in Key West, that takes place just twenty-four hours prior to our biggest shows!

Smith: So you could say these are the ones to throw the pitch out there for all of our Massacre stars to pick up and knock out of the park. And when does this start?

Hood: March 10th, 2019 - the night before OCW Social Justice, the only fan-participation driven show in the OCW fiscal year!

Smith: Fan-driven? So we could see incredible main events like Alice Knight versus Matt Meyhu for the OCW Championship?!

Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING!

Smith: At any rate, this sounds exciting! It’s like a sneak peak at the potential next generation of OCW stars as they’re molded into what makes a success story today.

Hood: I can’t wait. I even hear I may be calling this show too!

Smith: Oh, great, so we can introduce these students to you at an early age of their career……………………………

Hood: WEAK ASS ANNOUNCING!

Smith: Folks, we hope you’ll join us for OCW TV, next month, the day before Social Justice. There’s no telling what’s gonna happen when OCW students get put in the spotlight with a golden opportunity at such an early age!

Hood: Right on!

Smith: And now...it's time. Are you ready?

Hood: I'm as ready as I'll ever be

Smith: Let's head down to ringside for what should be an all time classic

Main Event
OCW Championship
“The Marvel” Matt Meyhu © (24-2) vs. ‘Perfect’ Paul Paras (10-0)

~For the first time all evening Club Space sits in silence. Not complete silence – it’s still a club full of people. However the venue is devoid of music testing the volume capacity the multitude of speakers lined throughout the establishment are equipped to handle. There is a strange aura permeating throughout Club Space. The fans are murmuring…a slight buzz is in the air. They are intrigued, anxious…possibly even nervous. The biggest match in OCW history (quite possibly) is on the horizon. There have been scaffolds. There have been toys. There have been old men. There have even been mass amounts of cannabis consumption. But now…now it’s time for the event to culminate. Now it’s time for shit to get real. Now, it is time…for the main event. Belvedere clears his throat~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our main event of the evening! This match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OCW Championship!!!

~The crowd goes wild! They are ready! The strange silence is squashed by pandemonium. They all turn to face the entrance, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Death March winner – the Perfect One himself, Paul Paras~

Smith: Club Space has that big match feel, Hood

Hood: I know Syren is the icon representing what OCW stands for but Paras may be, top to bottom, its greatest competitor

Smith: I can’t argue that

~"It Doesn't Seem to Matter" by Army of Anyone hits and Club Space erupts in cheers for the OCW legend’s imminent arrival. Paul Paras steps through the curtain! He’s stoic, as always. He takes in the ambiance, the atmosphere…it conjures memories of battles waged during a faded era. Somehow, someway, his prime has been revived. He’s, in many respects, thrust back in time to a date when he was at the top of his game, looking down upon the eager competition. All vying to knock him off his perch~

Smith: What’s that saying, Hood?

Hood: Don’t drink the water in Mexico?

Smith: NO! It goes something like…I may not be as good as I used to be…but I can be as good once as I ever was. I’m paraphrasing, obviously

Hood: Hey man, it’s okay. You may not be as good as you used to be but you’re still better than Jones.

Smith: I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT ME!

~Paras thrusts nostalgic reflection aside and marches toward the ring. Despite the evening’s theme. This moment, these next twenty, thirty, forty minutes aren’t about the past. They aren’t about the future. They are about the here and now. Paras hustles up the ring steps and enters into the ring. A loud “PARAS” chant sounds out. He stands in the center of the ring, closes his eyes and slowly tilts his head upward, inhaling as much air as his lungs will allow~

Smith: He looks ready, Hood

Hood: That’s great. And, I’m sure he is. However, he isn’t facing Mario. He isn’t facing The Great One. He isn’t even facing Everlast. He’s facing THE MARVEL

Smith: This stands to be, quite possibly, the greatest test of his in ring odyssey.

Hood: That ship he’s sailing on said ‘odyssey’ is about to spring a leak and sink faster than the Titanic with a bunch of weight watchers customers running around on deck.

Smith: Interesting analogy

~The “PARAS” chants endure beyond the ending of his theme. They echo throughout Club Space. The pace almost seems to sway in rhythm with the crowd’s chanting…~

“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…”

~Instant BOOOS as the OCW Champion steps through the 1980’s theme curtain to the tunes of “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West. Paras opens his eyes and turns his head in the direction of his adversary. Meyhu looks around at the fans…acknowledging their capricious behavior. In December they adored him. One month later and they seem ready to lynch the mother fucker. Meyhu does the math…they aren’t worth trying to win over, not tonight. He shakes his head, scoffs at the people lining the aisle way (some booing, others looking for a high five) and he marches toward the ring. Paras, respectful as always, slides out of the ring to give Meyhu his spotlight. The Marvel leaps onto the apron and hops over the top rope with ease~

Smith: The fans are letting the champion hear their displeasure! Last time we saw Meyhu he was busy hitting Paras in the head with a shovel!

Hood: He was merely defending himself, Smith. Paras is old and senile. Meyhu had to do what needed to be done to ensure the crown jewel of OCW was not scathed.

Smith: Yea, that’s not even remotely accurate

~Meyhu starts to pose for the crowd but decides against it, at the last second. This creates an even louder, negative reaction. Meyhu smirks, standing back in his corner. Paras calmly walks up the steps, entering into the ring. Belvedere returns to the center, ready for the introductions~

Belvedere: Introducing first…the challenger…FIGHTING OUT OF THE BLUE CORNER…he stands 6’3 and weighs 251lbs. He is The Mecca of Modern Wrestling…The Minnesota Messiah…The King of High Impact…The Perfect Athlete…The Hero of Lore…he is a former OCW Champion, a two time Hall of Famer…he is The Perfect One…he is…’PERFECT’ PAUL PARAS!!!

~The crowd goes wild!! Paras remains stoic, calmly nodding in response to the tremendous reception. Meyhu rolls his eyes and looks into the camera, “A man with that many nicknames is obviously over compensating…IF you know what I mean.”~

Smith: The crowd is firmly entrenched behind Paras. Meyhu has a lot to overcome this evening.

Hood: Paras has more nicknames than a fifty year old porn star!

Smith: I wouldn’t know anything about that

Belvedere: And, his opponent…FIGHTING OUT OF THE LIME CORNER…he stands at 6’5 and weighs in at 240lbs…he has never lost a singles match in his OCW career. He is the newest OCW Hall of Fame inductee…he is the undisputed OCW Champion…he is the MARVEL…he is…MATT MEYHU!!!

~Meyhu rips the belt from his waist and marches toward Paras, talking shit. Paras remains in his corner, displaying the ultimate poker face. Meyhu corners Paul and stares him down. He takes his OCW title, places the plate in Paul’s face and pie faces the former OCW Champion!! The crowd boos heavily!! Paras, with his head forcibly jerked to the right, slowly brings it back around and looks at Meyhu, suppressing any sort of knee jerk reaction. Meyhu backs away with an arrogant smirk. He hands Scruff the OCW Title. Scruff holds it up high. The crowd chants “OCW!” Scruff hands the title over to Belvedere, who exits the ring. The bell sounds~

Smith: And here we go!! The match that will go a long way in defining 2019!

Hood: You can go ahead and call 2019 – The Matt Meyhu Show Part 2 – A Marvel Never Dies

Smith: Pass

Hood: Passing on the Marvel is like waiting for the next underground railroad train…it’s STOOOOPID and likely to lead to unhappy times

~Paras emerges from his corner. Meyhu is yelling at some fans at ringside. We’re pretty sure it’s derogatory and not something along the lines of “HEY, NICE JACKET!” He turns around and spots Paras in the center of the ring. Again, the arrogant champion smiles. He braces, lifting his shoulders…Paras does the same. The two men circle one another for half a rotation before locking up! The crowd pops! Paras seems to gain the early advantage, only for Meyhu to fire back and shove The Perfect One back, into a corner! The crowd boos. Meyhu extends his arms, showing off his size, frame and tremendous physique~

Smith: I may not agree with his antics 90% of the time but there’s no denying that the man was built for competition

Hood: He wasn’t just given that nickname, you know. He earned it!

Smith: Yes, yes, I know

Hood: Unlike the Minnesota Messiah…I heard Paras earned that from some fat stripper in a seedy, BYOB strip joint located in the ‘wrong part’ of Minneapolis

Smith: Yea, I think that’s fabricated

~Paras appears unaffected. He straightens back up and heads toward Meyhu. The Marvel prepares for another lock up. The two men circle one another a second time before locking up! Paras tries to bully Meyhu into a corner, but The Marvel’s base is too strong. He rears back and throws Paras back!! The Perfect One stumbles, again, into the corner, nearly falling on this occasion. He leans back, takes a breath and reevaluates the situation~

Smith: Okay, so it’s clear that Meyhu has a strength advantage

Hood: Along with size, speed, and brain…man, the guy’s got this won on all fronts!

Smith: Not so fast, Hood. Paras will find an opening, a weak spot. He always does

~Paras, again, approaches Meyhu. For the third time they circle. Meyhu’s posture is much more relaxed than previously. They lock up! Paras seems to be providing less resistance. Meyhu rears back and shoves forward, looking to throw Paras to the mat. Paul, though, snares Meyhu’s arm and takes him over with an armdrag!! The crowd pops!! Paras holds onto the arm and applies an armbar~

Smith: There we go! I told you!

Hood: WEAK ASS

Smith: Meyhu’s hubris blinded him from an opening Paras sought and took advantage of

Hood: Hubris? Are you insinuating that Meyhu is carrying drugs?

Smith: Hubris – arrogance, ego…it’s the name of one of his moves for goodness sake!

Hood: I don’t know the names of his moves! I just know he hurts and beats people…and he’s a fan of the color LIME

~An annoyed Meyhu uses his size and strength advantage to bully Paras to his feet. He places the heel of his palm into Paul’s chin…they rise and Meyhu pushes back, walking Paul against the ropes. He shoots Paras off the ropes. Paras hits the opposite ropes and bounces off, heading toward Meyhu. The Marvel throws HUBIRS (how apropos) at Paras! Paras ducks and rolls Meyhu up! Paras decides against going for the pin and rolls over, allowing Meyhu the chance to return to his feet. Paras gets to his knees. Meyhu pops up and turns around, trying to get his hands on Paul. Before Meyhu can grab Paras, he’s taken over via a side headlock!! Paras wrenches the head lock as hard as he can, weakening the strong neck of the champion~

Smith: And once again Paul is one step ahead of Meyhu in the mental aspect of this match

Hood: Ugh…all these holds! Let’s get some kicks and some punches going!

Smith: Let’s hope the champion doesn’t adopt your impatient attitude

~Meyhu, again, shows the power contained within his optimal frame. He powers to his feet, forcing Paras to join him. He lifts Paras up for what appears to be an Atomic Drop. Paras, however, flips backward, landing on his feet. Meyhu throws a spinning back elbow…Paras ducks! He boots Meyhu in the gut and hooks him for a suplex. He snaps Meyhu over with a short suplex! Meyhu hits hard! Paras rolls over, on top of Meyhu, with another side headlock. Paul’s body rests on top of Meyhu’s chest, making it difficult for The Marvel to breathe. Meyhu struggles to keep both shoulders off the mat~

Smith: Paras AGAIN with the take down…this time he’s minimizing the amount of oxygen Meyhu can take in. Great strategy!

Hood: What is this shit?! After that Langston/Collins match we’re getting THIS

Smith: This is an OCW Championship contest, Hood. This isn’t looney tunes or Eli Roth

Hood: Well I wish someone would have told me! Jones would have KILLED for my seat during this bore-a-thon

~The Marvel, realizing he’s falling behind in this match, sits up. He musters all the power he has in his body to hold Paras and gets to his feet. Paras looks around, stunned that The Marvel contains this type of strength. Meyhu, on his feet, with Paras in his arms, tosses Paras up, onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry! Meyhu is already drenched…his face is bright red. He’s sucking wind. He hesitates. Paras tries to wiggle free. Meyhu looks to hit a DVD…Paras, though, flips over onto his feet! Meyhu stumbles and turns right into a superkick from Paras!! Meyhu stumbles back, into the ropes…Paras hustles over, he shoots Meyhu off the ropes. Paras leans into those very ropes and ricochets off. Meyhu bounces off the opposite ropes, charging right at Paul. Paras leaps into the air and drills Meyhu in the face with a Claymore Kick!!! Meyhu hits the mat!! The crowd can sense something they haven’t sensed in a while…a potential foundational shift within the promotion. Paras hovers over Meyhu for the cover~

1!

KICK OUT!

Smith: Whoa

Hood: Whoa is right! Some cute offense but The Marvel is far from close to being finished

Smith: Yea, he not only kicked out, but he shoved Paras about three feet to the side

~Paras is quick to return to his feet. Meyhu gets to one knee, facing Paul. Paul hooks a front face lock onto the champion. Meyhu grunts with frustration. Paras tightens his grip as evidenced by his tense back, arms, and chest. He’s really working the champion over. Meyhu feels around, looking for an opening. He throws a few punches into Paul’s lower back and ribcage area…but The Perfect One’s grip never weakens. Meyhu, again, summons some energy from his reserve…he powers to his feet and charges forward, bullying Paras into a corner. Meyhu digs his shoulder into the abdomen of Paul. Paras raises his head up, displaying discomfort. Meyhu continues to dig and dig. Pauls’ grip loosens which offers Meyhu some slack. He drives his shoulder into Paul’s stomach. He does it again and again. Paras begins to retaliate with clubbing forearms into Meyhu’s back, but they do not impede the champion’s progress. Shoulder after shoulder is driven into Paul’s body until the clobbering forearm shots cease. Meyhu continues and continues until he finally stands upright and leans back, chugging oxygen. Paras is hunched forward, gasping for air as well, having had all the wind forcefully driven from him. Meyhu places his hands on his hips…a sure sign of fatigue~

Smith: The champ is tired!

Hood: Bullshit…the guy went sixty minutes with TIO. There’s no way he’s gassed ten minutes into this one!

Smith: He’s had to expend an inordinate amount of energy to escape Triple P’s various submission holds.

Hood: So?

Smith: So…when you’re revving and engine or punching the gas pedal, gasoline tends to evaporate quicker than when you’re cruising at a steady pace.

Hood: Sounds like illuminati gobbledygook to me

~Paras begins to tighten the slack in his posture. Meyhu removes his hands from his hips and steps forward, delivering an open handed SLAP into Paul’s chest! It sounds like a loud ass firecracker! Paul’s mouth falls open as he leans forward. Meyhu straightens him up and delivers a knife edged chop into Paul’s bare chest. Paras, instinctively, like a wounded animal, fires back with a right hand. Meyhu blocks it and throws an elbow into the side of Paul’s head. He straightens Paul up, once again and delivers another knife edged chop!! This one echoes throughout Club Space, causing many fans to cringe…and some really wimpy fans to turn away. Meyhu takes his foot, lifts it up and places it into Paul’s throat. The fans begin to boo~

Smith: Meyhu slowing the pace down. He’s allowing his lungs a chance to recover.

Hood: Slowing the pace down? Seriously?

Smith: Okay, maybe a bad choice of words. He’s manipulating the pace of this match in his favor. He’s forcing the energy and stamina from Paul while he attempts to regather the energy and stamina he’s lost

Hood: Fuck that explanation took way too long. Just call the damn match…this is wrestling…this ain’t fucking chess!

~Scruff administers a count. He gets to five and orders Meyhu to remove his boot from Paul’s throat. Finally, Meyhu complies. Meyhu snares Paul by the arm and motions to whip him across the ring. Instead, however, he drops Paras straight to the mat with a short arm clothesline!! Paras lands hard with the back of his head coming dangerously close to hitting the bottom buckle. Meyhu takes a walk around the ring as a chorus of boos greets him~

Smith: And The Marvel…as we’ve seen so often, has taken control of this contest

Hood: Hey man you have to give Paul credit for getting here.

Smith: Indeed

Hood: I mean, sure, he should have never made it into the finals of Death March. And, yea, Zybala did screw King Infinity on the draw. And, absolutely Zybala rigged the match for a Paras win but, hey, hats off to the guy!

~Meyhu finishes taking a ‘lap’ and stands at Paul’s feet. He grabs both of Paras’ legs and drags him into the center of the ring. Meyhu bends over, looking like he’s going to apply some leg lock. Paras springs to life! He wraps his legs around Meyhu’s head and clamps down, looking to secure a Triangle!! Meyhu’s arms begin to flail around and grasp for something! The crowd pops to their feet~

Smith: A triangle!! If Paul can get this hooked then he might choke Meyhu out!

Hood: Damnit! C’mon, Meyhu! Power up! Grab a mushroom or a flower…or even that gay ass LEAF

Smith: What on Earth are you talking about?

Hood: Sorry…the theme of this event plus that Mario match earlier…it’s got me flummoxed

~Once again we see the raw strength of Meyhu as he lifts Paras off the mat. Paul, unable to fully lock in the triangle, knows he must call an audible on the fly before Meyhu drills him into the mat. He untangles his legs, leans forward, grabs Meyhu by the head, swings his hips forward and spikes Meyhu head first into the mat!!! The ring shakes from the impact! The crowd goes wild! The champ is down! He is down!~

Smith: Great move by Paul Paras! He never loses his cool…he always remains in control of his body and mind. What composure!

Hood: Shit fuck bitch ass slut mother fucker! Get your lime ass up, Meyhu!

Smith: I think he’s met his match, Hood

Hood: One more word outta you and I’ll call Welsh!

Smith: He doesn’t work here anymore

Hood: I LOATHE YOU, 2019

~Paras pops back to his feet. He seems to be in good shape. Meyhu is face down on the mat. Paras yanks Meyhu up. The champ teeters from his heels to his toes. Paras throws a vicious soccer kick into Meyhu’s gut! The champ doubles over right into a knee lift!!! Meyhu straightens up, about to topple over. Paras jumps up and aids the man with an enziguri that sends him crashing to the mat, landing on his side!! The crowd chants “PARAS!” Paul makes sure Meyhu’s shoulders are on the mat…he goes for another pin~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Smith: Another kick out by the champ! He’s taking some punishment but he continues to fight through it

Hood: That’s why he’s the CHAMP, Smith

Smith: Yes, Hood, I’m aware

~Paras shows zero frustration. He’s a man climbing Mount Everest. This won’t be easy. This won’t be quick. But, if he wants to achieve his mission, he must trudge on, step by step or, in this case, move by move. Paras returns to his feet. He pulls Meyhu up and whips him into a corner. Meyhu hits hard. Paras moves forward and delivers a few MMA style body strikes, clobbering the champ in some of his more vulnerable areas. Meyhu tries to jam a thumb into the eye of Paul, but Paras manages to evade the champ’s attempted shortcut. He snares Meyhu’s hand and twists it behind Meyhu’s back. The Marvel is now facing the corner, his face buried into the top buckle. We can hear his breath beating against the cloth and material of the top turnbuckle. His eyes look around…they show the soul of a man who is eternally frustrated. Paras yanks on Meyhu’s arm. The champ gets upright and backs his way out of the corner. He turns around and grabs Paras by the head, whipping him over with a Snapmare. Paras lands on his feet! He throws a mule kick into Meyhu’s gut and hits the ropes. He bounces off but runs right into HUBRIS! Paul goes down! The crowd gasps...they recoil with dread filled anxiety. The Marvel drops to a knee, planting his fist into the mat for support as he sucks wind~

Smith: That patented Machka kick the champ calls Hubris…it came out of nowhere and stunned Paras

Hood: Let’s see how stoic that mother fucker is after a giant BOOT TO THE FACE

Smith: I’m sure he’s feeling some pain…but he’s felt pain before, Hood.

~Meyhu returns to his feet when he sees Paras sit up, at the elbow. The Marvel stomps on the side of Paul’s head, sending him back to the mat. He pauses for a moment, taking a breather. He then reaches down and yanks Paras from the mat. He knees The Perfect One in the gut, hooks him around the waist and hoists him up over his shoulder. Meyhu stumbles back for a brief second…his legs looking a little wobbly. He stabilizes and charges forward, dropping Paras front first to the mat with a Reverse Powerslam!!! The ring, once again, tremors via the impact! Paras remains face down as Meyhu rests on his knees, shaking his head, sweat dripping to the mat~

Smith: The champ is tired, Hood. All these power moves are wearing him out

Hood: Somebody give that man a Redbull!

Smith: He may be younger and taller than Paras. But, make no mistake about it…Paul Paras is far from light. In fact, if the tale of the tape is to be believed…Paul Paras is actually HEAVIER than the champ

Hood: So you’re saying he needs to hit the treadmill

~Meyhu returns to his feet. The presence of his iconic, sweat soaked visage is that of a champion looking to remain atop his lime throne. He kicks at Paras, right in the back. The Perfect One’s body tremors. Meyhu snares the hair of Paras, yanking him back to his feet. He seems confident. He hooks Paras for EGO TRIP. The fans groan…they’ve seen this movie before. Meyhu gets set to execute one of the deadliest finishers in OCW history…but, something funny happens. Paras grabs Meyhu’s arm and looks to lock in a Kimura! Meyhu, aware of the move and feeling the unnatural pressure, yanks his arm free and backs away. He looks at Paras with concern on his face for the first time this evening. Paras sucks down some wind and holds his head high with his chest puffed out – he’s never appeared more confident~

Smith: Meyhu has been hit with the terrible realization that Paras can counter the Ego Trip with a Kimura!

Hood: SHIT

Smith: Meyhu is left with two options…he either has to incapacitate Paras to such a degree that he’s unable to obtain a simple Kimura lock OR he must defeat Paras via an alternative maneuver

Hood: Where is the champion’s advantage? WHERE IS IT? We need to ban one of Paul’s twenty-four signature moves!

~Meyhu rushes at Paras and delivers a few overreaching right hands! The Marvel seems to be losing HIS composure. He gets Paras against the ropes and whips him off…Paras reverses…The Marvel hits the ropes hard, he bounces off and blindly leaps into the air for a Lou Thesz Press…Paras catches him, spins around and dumps him with the RPW Spinebuster!!! The ring shakes! The crowd gets to their feet…they stomp the ground…they chant for Paras! The champ is down, he’s reeling, he’s seeing stars~

Smith: RPW Spinebuster! A tribute to Real Pro Wrestling, I believe

Hood: Ah yes, Dean’s sidepiece when his wife was out fooling around

Smith: Uh, yes, I suppose

~Paras measures Meyhu up. The crowd begins to jump around, freaking out. They know what he’s looking to hit. He’s preparing to hit Meyhu with ACID TEST. Paras crouches…he stomps his anxious feet. Meyhu sits up, unaware. He gets to one knee…Paras takes off and throws a knee at Meyhu’s head. The Marvel hops to his feet he lifts Paras up, taking advantage of The Perfect One’s momentum and waits for Paras to come down. Paul descends toward Meyhu and receives a HUGE European uppercut!!! Paras flips backwards, landing on the back of his head!! The fans sound like someone just kicked them in the gut. Meyhu staggers toward the ropes, shaking off the spinebuster from earlier~

Smith: What a huge forearm uppercut! Paras might be knocked out!

Hood: Meyhu is finally learning that the only way a person can exist in the same area as Paul Paras is by knocking him out, shutting him up

Smith: That is RUDE! Paul Paras is one of the most insightful wrestlers in OCW history.

Hood: Incite? Yea, I’d agree with that…he incites rioting all the time after fans listen to one of his promos!

~Meyhu gathers his wits and goes back after Paras. He yanks the two time Hall of Famer to his feet and goes for The Ego Trip!! Paras doesn’t appear to have much life in him after that uppercut. Meyhu, sensing an opportunity, pounces. He has Paras hooked…but he quickly lets go! He reaches for his arm after Paras attempted, yet again, to lock in a Kimura! Meyhu curses and kicks at the ropes, furious. Paras stumbles to one knee, center of the ring. Meyhu charges forward and kicks Paras in the side of the head!!! Paul’s body twists around, violently before landing on its back. Meyhu makes the cover~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP!!

Smith: Paras got the shoulder up! Meyhu is going to have to figure out an alternative move to win this match with

Hood: Fuck Paras, man! Guy is half out and he still tries to lock in one of his goofy submission holds. WEAK ASS

Smith: The man is in a constant state of composure, Hood. Even half unconscious, battered, beaten, facing arguably the greatest wrestler in history…even then he’s able to display the equanimity to deter certain defeat.

~The Marvel complains to Scruff. It’s clear the man is flustered knowing that Paras has a counter to his Ego Trip. Paul begins to stir which means Meyhu has got to place his eye back on the prize. He stomps at Paras, who is on all fours. Paras drops back down to the mat. Meyhu grabs Paul by the hair and yanks him up, proving that he simply wants to remain in control. Meyhu throws a wicked forearm into the side of Paul’s head. He whips The Perfect One into the ropes and awaits his return. Paul bounces off. Meyhu puts his head down. Paras flips over Meyhu’s back, lands behind The Marvel and hooks him around the waist. Meyhu looks around like “oh shit!” Paras lifts him up and drops him with a German Suplex!!! He holds onto the waist and swivels his hips~

Smith: Paul Paras with a series of suplexes…coming up!

Hood: CAREFUL! He shouldn’t be dropping the champ on his head like that

Smith: He’s trying to win!

Hood: No, he’s trying to ruin the greatest thing to happen to OCW since Everlast. Hmm…sounds familiar

~Paras gets Meyhu back to his feet and transitions from a waist lock. He hooks both of Meyhu’s arms and drops him with a Tiger Suplex!! The champ, once again, lands hard on his head. Paras rotates his hips and works back to his feet. He transitions a third time…he hooks Meyhu in a Full Nelson. Meyhu shakes his head as if to say “no, not again!” Paras hoists him up. This one is much more difficult for Paul to pull off. Meyhu is heavy and Paul is becoming fatigued. The Perfect One, however, pulls it off!! He drops Meyhu on his head with a Dragon Suplex!!! Paras bridges into a pin! Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: The champ survives!! But, man, that was close!

Hood: I think Paras got wind of Meyhu’s fake funeral and is trying to give his family the real thing

Smith: The only man in OCW capable of murder is Bifford. Paras is no Bifford.

Hood: You got that right

~Paras remains calm in the face of a narrow fall. Meyhu holds the back of his head, sitting up. He slides into a corner, looking for respite. Paras is back on his feet, offering anything but that which The Marvel seeks. He charges in and drills Meyhu with flying double knees!!! He yanks Meyhu out of the corner and escorts a staggering champion into the center of the ring. Paul hits the ropes, he bounces off and flies through the air with a second Claymore Kick (Blue Angel)! Meyhu collapses to the mat. Surely, this is it. Paras leaps on top of the champ!! The crowd leaps to their feet…Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: Meyhu kicks out again!

Hood: I don’t know why people try and pin this guy – it never works

Smith: He’s got to lose a singles match at some point, Hood. Nobody is perfect…

Hood: Odd thing to say during a Paras match

~Again Paras displays a complete lack of frustration. He’s so close to winning the OCW Title…but, The Marvel’s title reign continues to evade capture. Paul, though, remains stoic…he’s seen, been through it all. He snares Meyhu’s head and locks in a Front Chancery. Meyhu tries to lift Paras up, but can’t. Paras has his weight where it needs to be and is leaning on the champion. Meyhu throws fists into the ribcage of Paul, but they don’t have much behind them. Paul begins to throw knees into the top of Meyhu’s skull!! The fans chant ‘OH! OH! OH!” after every strike!!! Meyhu, at first, reacts in a very visceral manner…however, after five or six strikes, his motor functions cease. Paras keeps going until he’s holding up dead weight. He rolls Meyhu over in a Small Package…Scruff makes the count~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Smith: Ah!! Another one!

Hood: He’s not human!

Smith: The man is great, there’s no denying that. Can Paul Paras defeat him? He may be wondering that very question at this stage of the match.

~Paras sits up. He’s not breaking. He’s simply working the numbers, going over what he’s done and what’s left to do. Meyhu is on his back…we see some blood beginning to pool underneath his head, due to those knee strikes. Paras returns to his feet with a plan. He backs into a corner, watching Meyhu, much like he did earlier. Meyhu, as he always does, begins to get up. No matter how much punishment this man has taken…he always gets up. He reaches one knee before being absolutely BLASTED in the face by Acid Test!!! The fans are going wild!!! They chant “FUCK YES!” Paras leaps on top of Meyhu for the cover. Scruff slides in with the count…they count along~

1!

2!

3!!!

NOO!!

Smith: MEYHU GOT THE SHOULDER UP

Hood: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Smith: I can’t believe it! If ANYTHING can test Paul’s composure…this is it

~Paul sits up. He looks down at his knee, noticing the blood splatter from Meyhu’s head. He looks over at the champion, whose face is suddenly covered in a crimson mask. Paul seems (dare I say) perplexed. He reaches his feet and looks down at The Marvel~

Smith: And what does Paul have to do? How many Acid Tests will it take to keep Meyhu down?

Hood: More than Paras will be able to deliver. Welcome to 2019, Paul. Welcome to Meyhu’s world.

~Paras backs into a corner, looking for another Acid Test. Much like before, Meyhu fights to a knee. Paras charges forward. Meyhu leaps to his feet and lunges forward with a huge lariat!! His giant arm SLAPS against the sweat soaked chest of Paras! A mist of sweat fills the air as Paras turns inside out, landing on his back!! Meyhu falls face first onto the mat, still far from recovered~

Smith: And the pure, raw strength and athleticism of Matt Meyhu was just displayed

Hood: That’s why this man is who he is, Smith. At any point in any match he can rise up and beat the fuck out of you

Smith: Yea that was a brutal lariat.

Hood: Paul probably hasn’t been hit that hard in years

~Meyhu begins to crawl. He reaches a corner and uses the ropes and buckles to get to his feet. Paras sits up, holding his chest. He winces, with his back to Meyhu. He, too, gets to his feet. He turns around and faces Meyhu, showing no sign that he’s in pain. Meyhu would likely do the same if, ya know, his face wasn’t covered in blood. Paras holds up his fists and motions for Meyhu to come at him. The Marvel is no dummy. He turns his back to Paras and starts to exit through the ropes~

Smith: What’s he doing?

Hood: He’s not going to just walk up and get hit in the face by Paras. He’s the champ. He’ll throw down under his rules

~The crowd boos Meyhu’s act of refusal. Meyhu pauses, hearing their reaction. It bothers him. He steps back into the ring and walks toward Paras, who is somewhat disarmed compared to his posture a few moments ago. Paras brings his fists down when he sees Meyhu’s aren’t up. The Marvel, instead of punching, gives Paras a shove. Paul pauses, weighing his options. Meyhu gives him a slap across the face. Again, Paul swallows whatever is swelling inside. Meyhu takes his hand and runs it over his face…he reaches out and smears his own blood all over Paul’s face. The crowd BOOOOS. Paras can’t take any more of this belittling…he throws a right hand!! Meyhu responds with a right hand of his own! Paras retaliates…Meyhu responds. The fans cheer and boo the punches that belong to their hero and villain. Meyhu and Paras go back and forth, back and forth…sweat and blood fill the air. Finally, after dozens of blows, both men, breathing heavily, lean into one another~

Smith: They are exhausted, Hood! I have to think this is a bad sign for Triple P

Hood: Because he’s old?

Smith: No…because he allowed Meyhu to alter his strategy. Meyhu wasn’t going to fight on Paul’s terms. So, he walked over and mocked Paul until Paras decided to throw down. Which, if you ask me, meant that Meyhu worked Paul into fighting on his terms

Hood: I don’t know, man. I think we just saw two dudes throwing down. You’re reading way too much into this shit

~Paul shoves Meyhu back. He throws a right hand. Meyhu blocks it!! Matt leans forward with a head butt into Paul’s chin!! Paras is knocked silly! Meyhu hooks him for The Ego Trip!! The crowd rises with anticipation. Meyhu falls backward…but he doesn’t hit it! Paul manages to roll him over and show that he’s got a Kimura locked all the way in!!! The fans yell “TAP!” Meyhu is pounding the mat with his feet hand. His arm is bent at a terrible, terrible angle…the damn thing looks like it could snap at any second~

Smith: Meyhu thought he had an opening for the Ego Trip but, sadly, he just offered up his arm to Paul Paras

Hood: I mean, seriously…the guy can’t even hit his own fucking move. This shit isn’t fair!

Smith: Yea, well you might want to get those tissues ready. Meyhu’s arm could snap

Hood: Hopefully Scruff waits for it to snap before calling for the bell…unlike the shit we saw earlier with King Infinity. We don’t need The Fuckening Part 2 to take place here, in Miami

~Meyhu looks like he may tap. Scruff is in position. The Marvel, however, fights through the pain and manages to get to his feet! Paras holds on but it’s clear he’s stunned by The Marvel’s strength. Meyhu charges forward and SLAMS Paras into the corner! Paras releases the hold. Meyhu staggers around the ring, holding his arm. Paras recovers, quickly, and runs at Meyhu, leaping into the air with another Claymore Kick. Meyhu manages to catch him…it’s the powerbomb position! Paras’ weight and force send Meyhu stumbling backward, into a corner. It keeps him upright. He hoists Paras up using mostly his ‘good’ arm. Paras attempts to lock in a Triangle from his position. Meyhu instantly realizes what he’s doing and is like “fuck this”. He turns around and drops Paras into the top buckle with a buckle bomb!! Paras staggers out. Meyhu picks him up with one arm, hoists him over his head, spins around and drops him with an ALABAMA SLAM!!! Meyhu goes for the pin~

1!

2!

3…NO!

Smith: Another kick out! This time it’s Paul Paras showing everyone the amount of fighting spirit he has inside that veteran body

Hood: Man…I want Meyhu to go for an Ego Trip…but that arm.

Smith: It’s a dangerous risk. If he hits it, he probably wins. If Paras gets ahold of that arm again…he could break it.

~Meyhu and his bloody face scream at Scruff. Scruff holds up two fingers. Meyhu is furious. He runs his hands through his soaked hair and flings blood all over Paras and the mat. He reaches his feet and stomps around, fuming. He looks and sees his blood on Paul’s knee. He has an idea. He backs into a corner and bends over, removing his knee pad~

Smith: Oh no…

Hood: Turnabout is fair play!

Smith: He’s going to hit Paul with an uncovered knee to the head! His version of Acid Test!

~Paras gets to one knee. Meyhu takes off. Paras pops to his feet, he catches The Marvel and drills him into the mat with the RPW Spinebuster!!! Paras is back to his feet…Meyhu is trying to get up. Paras hits the ropes, he bounces off and flies through the air, drilling Meyhu with Acid Test!!! Meyhu hits the mat, much like before. Blood splatters into the air. Paras returns to his feet, limping slightly due to continued usage of his knee. He moves to pin Meyhu, but sees the champ already trying to sit up~

Smith: My goodness. I’m beginning to think The Marvel cannot be defeated in singles competition

Hood: He’s already getting back up! This is crazy!

Smith: He truly is a marvel

~Paras remains stoic. He hits the ropes, bounces off and drills Meyhu with a SECOND Acid Test!!! Paras holds his knee for a split second before moving for the cover. Before he can make the cover, however, Meyhu tries to sit up. Paras freezes. For the first time all night we see a true moment of doubt…a potential breaking point. Paul returns to his feet and looks down at the bloodied champion. Can he keep this man down? How do you defeat The Marvel?~

Smith: We’re seeing doubt in the face of The Perfect One!

Hood: Meyhu is doing to Paras what he does to all his competitors. He’s ruining him!

Smith: Many of these OCW legends are who they are because they believe they are the best. Meyhu has consistently shown each legend he’s faced that they are not. It’s a true breaking point for the egos of icons.

~Paras returns to his feet. Meyhu gets to one knee. He looks up at Paras and says, “Is that the best you got?” Paras hits the ropes…he bounces off~

Smith: This could be a mistake!

Hood: Running right into another Marvel reversal!

~This time, there is no Marvel reversal. Paras DRILLS Meyhu in the head with the third Acid Trip!!! Meyhu is down and this time he isn’t moving. The crowd is going crazy!! Paras makes the cover…Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW CHAMPION…“PERFECT” PAUL PARAS!!!!!

~The fans, after their initial popped, grow silent. It’s as though something great, something unprecedented has just died before their eyes. Paras sits up. The mood doesn’t bother him. He understands what they are experiencing. In a weird way, he’s feeling a little of the aura too. This man, this unbeatable man has finally fallen. Paul remains seated for a moment, taking it in~

Smith: These fans are stunned, Hood. Matt Meyhu, a man who has been in this company for nearly two years, finally lost his first ever one on one match. This…this is something I don’t think anyone ever expected to see.

Hood: I didn’t think the guy was ever going to lose again. Holy shit. What a run.

Smith: We have just witnessed the end to the greatest run in OCW history.

~Scruff extends a hand. Paras is appreciative, but he gets to his feet on his own. We see the former champ rolling out of the ring, falling to the outside. He’s too battered to really have much of a reaction to what’s taken place. Paul stands in the ring, looking out at the fans. “PARAS!” chants fill the air. The fans have moved beyond their initial shock and are now celebrating this tremendous moment. Paul feels a tap on the shoulder. He turns around to find Scruff extending the OCW Championship~

Smith: There you go, champ

Hood: Fuckin hell, guy earned it. So, what happens now?

Smith: I’d go with anything except shutting down

Hood: Yea, no kidding

~Paras holds the OCW Title high above his head with a gleam in his eye. The man has earned a great gift. He’s reliving his past…existing in nostalgia. The fans continue to chant his name as we fade to black~