OCW: Online Championship Wrestling
  • Home
  • Join
  • Staff
  • Rules
  • Roster
  • Rankings
  • Decadence
  • Massacre
  • Boards
  • Awards
  • Title History
  • Archives
  • Hall of Fame
  • Home
  • Join
  • Staff
  • Rules
  • Roster
  • Rankings
  • Decadence
  • Massacre
  • Boards
  • Awards
  • Title History
  • Archives
  • Hall of Fame
Picture

OCW Presents: The Greatest Show on Earth
LIVE! Monday, June 11th 2018
From Inside the OCW Circus Tent @ Papillion, Nebraska

~The desolation of Papillion, Nebraska is shown. It’s a mid-summer afternoon. The blazing sun beats down on the tall, dried grass of a forgotten field. The rows of sun burned blades cascade back and forth for miles. All is quiet. It feels as though civilization hasn’t touched this place, well, ever. A shadow approaches. It’s the silhouette of a fairly well built man. He steps into view and is instantly recognized. It’s former OCW wrestler John E Depth. He’s wearing a hat – once black, now a near dirty brown. A stained t-shirt and super tight jeans cover the majority of his body. A pair of boots cap off the man’s attire. His jeans are so tight we see the outline of his penis…it sets ever so snugly to the right. He bends over and picks up a blade of grass. He sticks it into his mouth and begins to chew – instantly spitting it out~

John E Depth: Blegh! That shit is gross. I think a bug got in my mouth

~Depth picks at his teeth. A voice off camera is heard. Depth yanks his hand out of his mouth and refocuses, staring out over the vacant field. A shadow approaches from behind, standing at his side. The hair atop the shadow’s head is wild and untamed. Once within view we recognize former OCW wrestler, Shootah. He, too, stares out over the field~

John E Depth: I don’t know why we’ve been led all the way out here, Shootah

Shootah: Beats me, yo.

~The wind picks up with sudden intent. Embedded within the aggressive breeze is a voice – faint at first. It picks up in volume. The voice sounds an awful lot like Jack Puffer. But, we can’t be certain~

Voice: If you build it – THEY will come.

~Shootah and Depth look at one another. They do an extremely bad job of acting shocked~

Shootah: You hear that, yo?

John E Depth: I sure did. There’s only one thing left to do.

~John E Depth reaches down and reveals a shovel. He hands it to his African American friend, Shootah. Shootah hesitantly accepts. Time passes. The sun sets, the moon rises. Days which feel like weeks crawl by. We revisit the situation. Shootah is busy digging many holes while Depth walks around, surveying the area. Shootah pauses, breathing heavily, looking up at Depth~

Shootah: You gonna help, yo?

John E Depth: I am helping – I’m managing the situation.

Shootah: I don’t know, B…but this feels kinda racist.

~Depth and Shootah look right at the camera. Several nervous murmurs sound out from behind our viewpoint. It seems to be the angst filled voices of the people in charge, realizing the heinous imagery they are producing. We quickly cut to a scene, days into the future. Shootah continues to dig but, alongside him we spot Depth, Puffer, Vortex, and Debris all working much harder. They are without water whereas Shootah has three brand new YETI containers at his disposal. The situation has been rectified. So, they keep digging and digging. They stop every once in a while to wipe the sweat from their brow – out of their eyes. More days pass, the digging continues. Time picks up speed like a show running several times over its designated speed. Stakes appear and are driven into the ground. Ropes are strategically tied and hammered into place. A giant crimson and beige tent is erected. The speed slows to normal time. Depth and Shootah stand, proudly, in front of the ridiculously large tent they have erected in the middle of this Nebraskan field~

John E Depth: Not bad, old friend. Not bad at all.

Shootah: No doubt, yo. But, where are THEY?

~The wind picks up very much like before. The voice returns~

Voice: If you build it – THEY will come.

~Depth and Shootah appear confused~

John E Depth: Build WHAT? We already built this damn super tent!

Shootah: I have an idea. You think, like, because we are wrestlers maybe we should, I don’t know, put a wrestling ring in there? Set up some bleachers?

~More terrible acting ensues as Depth’s eyes widen to a ridiculous degree. He pats Shootah on the back and, together, they enter into the tent. As they do, a very rough cut takes place instead of what was supposed to be an unnoticeable, seamless cut. It makes it very obvious we’ve jumped from one time to another. But, we’ll just go with it. They walk into the tent and, instantly after the rough cut, we see what was once a bare tent filled with empty bleachers and an official OCW wrestling ring. The ropes are a mixture of beige and crimson. The mat is beige. The apron is crimson. It’s all themed for the event. Depth and Shootah stand around, waiting~

Voice: If you build it – THEY will come.

John E Depth: Now what?

Shootah: Yo, like, maybe we need some wrestlers?

~Shootah tries to whistle but, instead, spits all over his two fingers. So, Depth just yells out. We see a number of generic wrestlers step into the ring. One appears to be a technician. Another is obviously a high flyer. The third we locate is probably a brawler. And, well, this collection wouldn’t be complete without the resident MMA wannabe. They get into the ring and wrestle. There’s no fanfare. Nothing all that special. It’s just a bunch of bland archetypes doing their thing. Depth and Shootah take a seat on the bench, watching~

John E Depth: Go check outside, see if they have arrived.

~Shootah hustles outside. He emerges from inside the tent with a wide smile. Unfortunately, he approaches a Christmas tree devoid of gifts. His smile is eviscerated. He looks around the darkening Nebraskan landscape with disappointment. The land is as desolate as ever. He sulks back inside, sitting next to Depth who appears very bored with the in ring entertainment~

Shootah: They ain’t here, yo.

John E Depth: Seriously? What more do we have to do?!

Voice: If you build it – THEY will come.

~A voice that once brought comfort and direction now resonates with confusion. Depth leans forward with his chin in his hands, staring at the scene taking place in the center of the opulent tent. He leans back, exasperated, throwing his hands in the air~

Shootah: Yo, maybe we need better wrestlers?

John E Depth: Well, shit. Might as well try that, right? I mean, otherwise we built this fucking thing for nothing. Alright, Shootah…go gather up some of the best wrestlers you know.

~Shootah cheerily scurries off to procure his A-list of talent. We cut to a shot of a ring full of NEW wrestlers. They are easily recognizable. We spot Vortex spinning around the ring while Debris drops pieces of trash. Paralysis is busy displaying his lack of talent. Truda is stretching out in the corner. We even locate MAMMALSAUCE. He’s dancing around, happily. Depth leans back, snapping his fingers, smiling. This is his kinda scene. Shootah overlooks the in ring happenings like a proud papa~

John E Depth: Not bad, Shootah. Not bad at all. Now, go check outside…surely they have come.

Shootah: Oh, no doubt.

~Shootah sprints outside, eager to greet all the patrons. He bursts through the two flaps serving as the entrance to the tent and spots a horrifying scene. The grass is blowing away. The trees are dying. All bugs and animals are running from the scene as though it were some type of cataclysmic, life ending event. Shootah looks around the scene with a frightened gaze. He stumbles backwards, falling inside the tent. He crabwalks parallel to Depth. Depth looks down at his friend, nonplussed~

John E Depth: The hell is wrong with you?

Shootah: Ain’t nobody comin, yo. They all LEAVIN.

John E Depth: Seriously? We’ve somehow made it WORSE? Please, voice, help us! Show us the way! Just one little clue…something, anything! We’re at the end of our rope here!

~Depth collapses to the ground, next to Shootah. He’s all out of ideas. All out of energy. All out of hope. The situation seems lost. Depth is broken, Shootah is confused and Paralysis just pinned somebody. It’s a damn tragedy. Then, suddenly, as if on cue a lightning bolt strikes from the top of the tent, into the center of the ring~

Lightning Bolt: KABOOMPLOWBANGSLAM!!!

~Smoke remains where the lightning bolt struck. It clears. From within the smoke we spot the ghostly image of OCW legend SCOTT SYREN! He’s butt naked, naturally. But his muscles are as huge as ever. He grabs Vortex and Debris by the throat and tosses them out of the ring, into the bleachers. He snares Mammalsauce and hurls him out of the ring, through the flaps, exiting the tent. He basically kills Truda – we won’t go into detail how. And, finally, he gives Paralysis something to be paralyzed about. Finally, he leaps over the top rope and lands on his two feet. He marches up to Shootah and Depth. Both Shootah and Depth stand, in awe. Syren’s massive dick sways side to side as he nears them. He places his left hand on Shootah’s right shoulder and his right hand on Depth’s left shoulder~

Scott Syren: If you build it – THEY will cum.

~Depth and Shootah nod with wonder in their eyes. Syren violently slams their skulls together, knocking them out. He then produces a very high pitched, efficient whistle with his two fingers. Silverfreak, Scorpion, and Silver Cyanide all approach the ring. Syren meets them at the ring. Before Syren can step through the ropes, Silverfreak tosses him a pair of official SILVERCOLA swim trunks. Reluctantly, Syren slips them over his naked lower half and steps through the ropes. A tag team match for the AGES ensues. Suddenly, the iconic voices of Hood and Smith are piped into the tent~

Smith: What a match we’ve got in front of us, Hood!

Hood: Why do they always have to make Syren wear pants?

Smith: Do you really have to ask that question?

Hood: I do like to investigate the important topics

~The images of Syren, Freak, Cyanide, and Scorpion vanish. In their place we get Lurrr, Bifford, Murray, and TGO doing battle. Their images disappear and in their place we get Maurako, Paras, El Linchador, and Titan 3. Their images slowly fade and in their place we get Jin Royale, Jason Stone, Jack Sullivan, and Josh Allen. Their images vanquish much like the rest. In their place we get MJ Bell, Pryde, Brianna Casablancas, and Mia Stone~

Smith: Look at this new age of OCW stars, Hood! They are doing the legends proud!

Hood: Yea, I guess…even if there’s only one man in there.

Smith: Talk about an industry in the midst of evolution.

Hood: WAIT…Brianna IS a woman, isn’t she?

Smith: STOP

~The aforementioned four blink out. We then are given a shot of Awe.Some taking on Supreme Machine and Ricky Rhodes~

Smith: Those Valdez brothers are destined for great things here in OCW!

Hood: Yea, they are pretty Awe.Some

Smith: Not your best

~They, too, like the rest vanish into thin air. In their place we are given PerZag, Alice Knight, Mack O’Connor, and CJ O’Donnell~

Smith: OCW 2017 is as talented as ever! Led by the world’s heroin Alice Knight!

Hood: Fuck that shit, PerZag is the man leading this charge!

Smith: Mack’s looking strong…is he going to hit CJ over the head with that picnic basket?

Hood: Depends on what kind of beer is packed inside

~And, like all the others, they, too vanish. We then get a stream of current OCW stars standing in the ring. It starts with Curt Canon and Muffles standing opposite one another. It shifts to Josie Barnes and Ed Houston. Next up we get Tommy Crimson and Julliet Brooks. After that we are shown Chad Vargas with a somewhat faded image of Grenier…a question mark lingers above his head. And, finally, we get to the prestige. We get Matt Meyhu flashing an arrogant gaze across the ring at his determined adversary, The Incredible One. The view suddenly pulls back away from the ring…it turns toward the exit, flying through the flaps, giving us a night view of the once barren landscape. A cavalcade of vehicular headlights, bumper to bumper are fighting to get in. The once desolate field is brimming with lit up concession stands, fans, merchandise and verbal commotion. Our view shifts into the sky…the banner for The Greatest Show on Earth unfolds from the heavens. The sky shifts from night to present day. We cut, instantly inside the OCW tent which is packed full of screaming OCW fans!! They are chanting “OCW! OCW! OCW!” The ring sets atop a dirt surface, right in the middle of the tent. A giant circle of bleachers surround the ring. It’s only break comes for the entry and exit flaps. There is a giant barricade, about six feet high. It’s themed in the crimson and beige stripes. There is a four sided 'scoreboard' type monstrosity hanging above the ring - much like what you'd see at an NBA game. It's displaying all the action that takes place OUTSIDE of the tent. It's very high above the ring. After being given the overall layout of the interior we cut to Smith and Hood who are nestled at the very top of one of the bleacher sections, looking down upon the chaotic scene~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to The Greatest Show on Earth!! What a night we have in store for you all…five matches featuring ten extraordinary talents. I for one cannot wait!

Hood: Yea, I swore I’d never visit the state of Nebraska. But, here I am. Thanks a lot, Meyhu. Thanks a lot, TIO.

Smith: If there is one match worth visiting Nebraska for, that would be the one. But my oh my we have so much more!

Hood: Well not TOO much more…I mean that pussy Grenier is dodging Vargas something fierce

Smith: There is that…Chad Vargas has an opportunity to compete in a #1 Contenders match for an OCW Title shot…the catch is, Grenier has to accept his role as Chad’s opponent. Sounds easy, right? Well…you’d be WRONG. Bob Grenier wants nothing to do with Professional wrestling OR Chad Vargas

Hood: The man has been castrated, Smith.

Smith: We’ll also see the first ever CRAZE Champion as Josie Barnes and Ed Houston do battle in a Bloody TLC match later this evening…a stipulation named by OCW Commissioner Mike Zybala

Hood: Gotta give credit where it’s due…solid stip…not too much credit, but some

Smith: Tommy Crimson and Julliet Brooks have been at one other’s throats all month long…their score will be settled tonight in a 450 Light Tube match

Hood: 450? That’s it? Why stop there…how about a 997 LIGHT TUBE MATCH!

Smith: Now you’re just being ridiculous. And…to open things up we’ll see former OCW Champion Curt Canon take on Muffles the Bunny in a Caged Ladder Match

Hood: Yea aesthetics of this match really took a fucking hit when Kestrel’ face got all busted up

Smith: Indeed…originally it was supposed to be Kestrel taking on Canon however…due to Checkers attack on Kestrel, she was forcefully removed from this match with Muffles being named her replacement.

Hood: Thanks a lot, Checkers.

Smith: Yes…so we have a lot to get to this evening and…wait a minute… I'm getting a message through my headset. It seems that Commissioner Zybala has set up a little concert to open up the show tonight and amp up the fans.

Hood: Oh great... Who did that retard get? The Wiggles? The Sesame Street crew?

Smith: I'm being told it's a band called "Creature Feature"???..... Never heard of them.

Hood: Probably some local nobodies. Zybala loves giving them unearned t.v. time. Look at that idiot Uber Man.

Smith: Let’s give them a chance, Hood…we all start somewhere. Let’s head over inside what I’m being told is the Zybala tent where this band will perform!

~We cut inside the Zybala tent. It’s loud. There seems to be an unpredictable vibe surrounding it. It’s several hundred yards away from the main tent. It’s obvious Zybala set this thing up without consulting Welsh. He went ROGUE. The fans cheer as they see stage crew bring out instruments and a band shortly follows~



~We cut back to Smith and Hood, inside the main tent. The fans cheer the performance…they’re drinking…they’re excited…they’ll cheer just about anything at this point~

Smith: Solid performance…if you’re looking for more music and more unpredictability, in general, head on over to the Zybala tent! Over here, however, we’ve got a show to run! Fans from all over the country have flocked to Papillion for tonight’s event. The entire roster is here, I’m told and they are ready for a groundbreaking event. Let’s cut backstage right now for a shot of the wrestlers gearing up for tonight’s event. Hood…HOOD?

Hood: I’ll be right back…I want a funnel cake

Smith: Alright, but hurry!

~~We cut to the ‘backstage’ entrance of the circus grounds. The entrance is once again guarded by a big muscular security guy. Backstage crew members and wrestlers are being let in as they show their credentials. A beat up Ford pinto rolls into the scene with smoke coming out of the exhaust. The backdoor swings open and the familiar sight of Tony the Spider appears on screen. His mullet is flawless and his fanny pack is as awesome as ever. Tony walks up to the security guard and offers a hand shake. The guard looks at him, and then at his hand~

Guard: You again?

Tony: (waits a couple seconds for the guard to reach out his hand, after he doesn’t Tony shakes the air) Hahahahaha. Glad to see you too. We can chalk last week up to a big misunderstanding. But seeing as today is the big day, I have to get inside so I can make my big announcement.

Guard: (shakes his head) You gotta show me that you have access.

~A male wrestler wearing a hooded sweater that covers his face pushes through Tony and flashes his badge and is waved through. We can barely get a glimpse of him on tv but Tony recognizes him~

Tony: Hey! Hey! TLS! TLS. It’s me Tony the Spider. Tell him to let me through. Tell him you know me and that I am a wrestler in the OCW.

~The unidentified wrestlers doesn’t even stop and then quickly vanishes backstage~

Tony: (looks up at the guard) He knows me man. He knows me.

Guard: (folds his arms and shakes his head) Sorry man. Can’t let you through.

Tony: (reaches into his fanny pack) What if I gave you this?

~The guard slowly drifts his hand towards his taser. Tony pulls out an autographed picture of himself. The guard shakes his head~

Guard. Don’t make me tase you again man.

~Tony quickly puts the picture back into his fanny pack~

Tony: What if we call Mr. Welsh again. If he says he knows me will you let me through?

Guard: (nods his head) Sure. If the boss gives you the okay I’ll let you in.

Tony: (pulls out his cell phone then stares at it, then looks up at the guard) Okay. What’s his cell phone number?

Guard: (tries hard not to smile but shakes his head) You don’t even have his number? Man if you don’t get the fuck out of here.

~The guard draws his taser out as Tony quickly retreats. We cut back to Smith…Hood has returned and is almost done with his funnel cake~

Smith: Tony the Spider, ladies and gentlemen. I kind of feel sorry for him

Hood: This shit is fuckin good! And, if you felt so damn sorry for him…why didn’t you call down there and tell the guard to let him in?

Smith: Well, I, umm…I was too busy being distracted by the your unprofessional dietary habits!

Hood: Man I’m not even mat at that comment. That funnel cake was sooo good. I’m definitely going to have to eat another

Smith: There’s got to be like a thousand calories in those

Hood: HEY! Don’t FAT shame me. If I want one more, I’ll get one more. Just one, though. Okay?

Smith: Okay, fine. Anyway…it’s time to get tonight started with an OCW first…

Hood: Iron Man Match?

Smith: No. We’ve seen a lot of things in OCW. We’ve seen murder, whack off matches, live porn sessions, attempted murder by killer whale feeding, an inmate die via electrocution, death matches, matches in jungles, on beaches…look the point is we’ve seen a lot of stuff in OCW

Hood: Damn straight

Smith: But we’ve never seen…a Wedding!

Hood: For good reason!

Smith: And tonight…right now…that streak is finally broken! Settle in OCW fans…it’s time for former OCW Champion and Hall of Famer Bob Grenier to marry the love of his life, Danica!

Hood: Aka piss break and/or funnel cake time!

~We cut to a shot outside the tent, in the midst of the circus themed hubbub. A ceremonial stand has been erected with dozens of white chairs arranged in orderly fashion. They are filled with an eclectic menagerie of personalities. There is a sign that reads “A Grenier Wedding”. An incredibly old woman plays an organ at ringside. In the ring we have a large cake, an altar and CAP SLOCK will oversee the ceremony. He is dressed in a cheap suit and looks overly anxious. The aisle is decked out with a red carpet and a bunch of midgets lined up with baskets of rose petals~

CAP SLOCK: DEARLY BELOVED

~Bob laughs and mutters “You might want to wait for the Bride”. The crowd covers their ears after hearing the BOOMING voice of Cap Slock. The Captain clears this throat and goes to apologize. Bob, however, stops him before he can speak. Bob’s wedding party consists of The Lockwoods and Richard. Neither of them are dressed for the occasion. Richard wears a karate gui and shows off his black belt proudly, The Lockwoods are just the The Lockwoods.. Punk Rock. AKB paces around the setup, eyeing the women in the crowd while holding the rings on a pillow~

CAP SLOCK: WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY!!!

~Bob whispers something in his ear~

CAPS: OH YEAH! THAT PART COMES LATER… LOVE.. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.. WHAT IS LOVE? LOVE IS FORNICATION. LOVE IS FREELY PASSING GAS IN FRONT OF YOUR LOVER. LOVE IS GETTING AN ERECTION AT THE SITE OF HER AND KNOWING SHE WILL TOUCH IT LOVINGLY!!

~Cap Slock hesitates. He looks over the nuptials which were handed to him at the start of the ceremony. They are unlike anything he has ever heard at a wedding before. Bob motions for CAP SLOCK to cut the speech. He motions, with his head, that it’s time for the bride~

CAP: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!! PLEASE STAND FOR THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE!!

~Half the crowd stands. The other half are indifferent and probably drunk. All of a sudden “Me & My Bitch” by Biggie begins to play… Danica does not make her way out~

Bob: Dani and I agreed to a nontraditional wedding.. If you couldn't tell! Maybe that was a little too informal. Agnes, Play the regular one.

~Agnes begins to play here comes the bride and everyone looks on in anticipation. Bob looks proud. A minute or two go by and everyone looks confused, especially Bob. Agnes stops playing and begins to play again and Danica Still does not come down the aisle. Looking hurt and confused.. Bob makes his way up the aisle quickly. The Lockwood Party and Richard follow him also voicing their concern. Back at the altar.. Everyone looks confused. To lighten the mood Me and My Bitch begins to play again. Cap Slock appears confused on what to do next~

CAP SLOCK: EVERYBODY PLEASE ENJOY THE LOVELY MUSIC CHOSEN BY THE GRENIER’S TO CELEBRATE THIS JOYFUL OCCASION. I’M SURE THE FESTIVITIES WILL RESUME SHORTLY

~Hungry, stoned and immaterial to the sanctity of a matrimonial service, several guests head for the cake and begin eating. Cap Slock tries to stop them…but they look at him like a pack of wild dogs. Cap Slock realizes he’s not making near enough money for this and takes off through the crowd. A few patrons locate the alcohol and begin to pour themselves a drink. Before you know it…the RECEPTION is underway! Women are grinding up on men. The cake is being devoured and the Canadian beer is flowing like Niagara Falls~

Smith: Typically people WAIT until AFTER the marriage ceremony before partying

Hood: Well, this is a Grenier wedding

Smith: Poor Bob…I really hope everything is okay

Hood: Yea…it sucks being stood up…but being stood up on STARZ…that’s fucking brutal

Smith: I’d like to think there’s a logical explanation for all of this. I’d also like to think that there will be enough cake and libations left over for the REAL reception, once this matter is resolved.

Hood: Nah man…she split on his ass. Everybody knows it…so why let all that cake and booze go to waste?

Smith: Well that remains to be seen…folks, that’s not exactly the start we were hoping for but I’m sure we’ll get some answers. We will keep you updated on the situation as it develops. In the meantime…we’ve got some wrestling to get to

Hood: About fucking time!

Smith: Up first we have the Caged Ladder Match with Curt Canon taking on Muffles the Bunny

Hood: It’s strange…it’s borderline bizarre…but, ya know what, I dig it

Smith: Of course you do…oh and let's not forget...Mario Maurako is going to special ref this match!

Hood: Oh fuck yea! That's right!

Smith: Wait...what's that? Are you serious?

Hood: What's wrong...did they let Tony the Spider in?

Smith: No, even worse...I'm told Mario didn't show up for tonight's event. So...no Mario everybody...sorry about that!

Hood: Two weeks in a row! What the heck is going on?

Smith: I'm not sure...but I've been told he WILL be at Massacre next Monday

Hood: I'll believe THAT when I see it

Smith: Anyway...let's head down to ringside for our opening match!

Picture

Caged Ladder Match
Curt Canon vs. Muffles the Bunny

~We cut inside the tent. The OCW ring sets atop a dirt surface inside a pit which resides several inches lower than the bottom row of seats in the crowd. A cell hangs above the ring, just beneath the four screen monstrosity. There is a ladder leaning up against a corner. Belvedere has a mic in his hand, standing in the middle of the ring~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is a CAGED LADDER MATCH! The winner will receive a #1 Contender’s Match at the next OCW Super Show for a SHOT at the OCW Championship!! In order to win this match a competitor must either pin or submit their opponent or escape the cell through a door located at the top of the cell. Introducing first…

~”Bad Bunny” by Radioactive Chicken Heads fills the OCW tent. The fans hop to their feet and start to bounce around BUNNY STYLE. These fans are full of energy…it’s the first match of the day! Muffles emerges through the entrance and hops his way down…he stops…performs an extra big hop into the pit!! He swings his orange bat around much to the crowd’s delight. He reaches the steps…marches up the steps and jumps over the top rope, into the ring~

Belvedere: Introducing first…from Bunnyman Bridge…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 236lbs….Muffles the Bunny!!!

~ “Figure 8” by Trust Company hits!! The crowd gets even LOUDER for the OCW Hall of Famer and former OCW Champion. Curt Canon splits through the tent flaps, posing for the crowd! A “CANON” chant shakes the tent’s foundation! He smiles, taking in the love and respect. It’s clear the man is glad to be back! He walks down the entrance…hops into the pit and rushes toward the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. He pops to his feet, heads for the nearest corner and poses for the fans~

Belvedere: And his opponent…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is….Curt Canon!!!

~Belvedere exits the ring. A ‘CANON’ chant still consumes the interior of the tent. The cell begins to lower. Muffles, holding onto his bat, remains freakishly still. He stands, facing the direction of Curt. Curt looks over at Muffles. He points at the bat, talking with Scruff. Scruff does the signature Scruff Shrug~

Smith: Curt isn’t a fan of that weapon but…given the match stipulation, I’m not sure there’s much that can be done about it.

Hood: That bat is merely there to symbolize a giant carrot, Smith

Smith: Seriously? Huh…I never got that connection

Hood: Fucking idiot

~Curt’s a laid back guy so he takes Scruff’s ruling in stride. The cell is completely lowered. The bell rings! The crowd goes wild! It’s the first match of the evening. Muffles charges at Canon with the bat! Canon ducks a near lethal blow! The bat SLAMS into the top buckle. Muffles turns around. Canon is light on his feet, bouncing around…he appears somewhat frightened. He says something along the lines of “That fucking bat!” Muffles points at Canon with the bat and begins swinging it over his head~

Smith: Muffles apparently had a game plan coming into the match

Hood: Yes…Muffles SMASH

Smith: I guess that bat is more than just a carrot, eh?

Hood: Well of course it is, Smith! I didn’t say it was LITERALLY a fucking carrot, did I?

Smith: No, I don’t suppose you did

~Muffles charges at Canon a second time. Canon locates the ladder. He grabs it and uses it to defend himself. Muffles swings with the bat…Canon blocks it with the ladder!! Canon shoves Muffles back. He thrusts the ladder forward, toward the gut of the bunny. Muffles knocks the ladder away using the bat. Muffles swings the bat at Canon’s head…Canon lifts the ladder up, blocking the bat. Both men stagger…Canon and Muffles take a swing at the same time…the bat and ladder SLAM into one another leaving their handlers at a stalemate. The crowd goes wild~

Smith: And we’ve got some type of ladder, bat duel going on

Hood: Only in OCW

Smith: Which weapon would you prefer?

Hood: Neither…I’d just sneak a gun in there and BOOM…game over

Smith: That’s horrible

~Muffles takes his bat and he swings down, jarring the ladder out of Canon’s hands. The ladder lands on the mat. Canon shakes his hands, his face contorts with discomfort. Muffles points the bat at Canon. Curt realizes he’s weaponless. Muffles stalks him down. He places his legs around the ladder as he walks, keeping the ladder between his legs. Canon notices this…the top of the ladder is between the bunny’s legs. Canon takes his foot…he places it on the bottom rung and pushes back…the top of the ladder shoots up and DRILLS Muffles in the crotch!! The crowd goes “ooohhh”! Muffles’ knees turn inward and buckle…he falls over to his side, releasing the orange bat~

Smith: Well that’s one way to stop a human sized bunny, I suppose

Hood: Right in the bunny balls!

Smith: Curt is resourceful. You have got to give him that

Hood: That’s an understatement. Guy tricked his way into an OCW Title win AND Hall of Fame nominations.

~Canon grabs the ladder and places it back in its original corner. He snares Muffles by one of the ears and pulls the bunny to his feet. He whips Muffles into the ladder…the bunny SLAMS front first into the ladder. He comes stumbling backwards. Canon runs into the ropes, bounces off…he leaps into the air and takes Muffles down with a slingblade!! The crowd erupts! Canon is seated on the canvas, post move…he spots the bat~

Smith: And Curt has spotted the bat!

Hood: You say that like it’s some kind of fucking achievement…IT’S A BRIGHT ORANGE BAT

Smith: I was merely calling the action

Hood: It’s like when you send kids out looking for neon colored eggs that are sitting out, in the open. Don’t cheer that…DON’T CHEEER THAT

~Canon snares the bat. He holds it up. The crowd cheers with approval. Muffles gets to his feet. Canon swings the bat at the bunny’s head. Muffles, however…in a freakish show of strength and quickness CATCHES the bat with his left hand! The crowd is stunned. Canon is shocked. Canon looks up into the black, soulless eyes of the bunny. He tries pulling the bat away but the bunny’s grip is too strong. So, Canon does what he must…he jumps up and dropkicks the Bunny in the knee!! Muffles lets go of the bat and falls to one knee. Canon, still holding the bat, leaps up with an enziguri into the side of the bunny’s head! Muffles falls over…a ‘Canon’ chant resumes~

Smith: More resourcefulness by Curt Canon

Hood: Holy shit that Bunny is fucking freaky at times

Smith: It’s all fun and games at first…but people tend to forget that is one dangerous creature

Hood: It’s the freakiest fucking mall easter bunny you ever saw trying to beat you to death inside a wrestling ring.

~Curt looks at the bat. The crowd seems eager for Curt to use it. Canon looks down at the freaky bunny. Muffles is stirring, getting ready to rise once more. Canon heads toward the side of the cell. He takes the bat and slides it through one of the holes in the cell, dropping it outside – eliminating it from being used in the match. The crowd boos, slightly…they are confused and disappointed. Curt turns around to find Muffles sitting up, staring at him~

Smith: Smart move by the Hall of Famer…Muffles can do more harm to Canon with that weapon than Canon could ever hope to inflict upon Muffles

Hood: What’s Canon’s beef with baseball? It’s America’s pastime!

Smith: I’m sure he likes Baseball well enough

Hood: Ya know just because the Phillies suck doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the whole damn sport, Curt!

~Canon charges at Muffles with a Penalty Kick. Muffles catches Curt’s leg!! Canon hops around on one foot as Muffles rises to his feet. Curt throws his free leg at the bunny’s head for another enziguri. Muffles CATCHEES that leg, as well! With both legs hooked the bunny falls backward and tosses Canon face first into the cell with a catapult!! Canon SLAMS into the side of the cell…he staggers around, holding his face~

Smith: And just like that the entire complexion of this match has changed

Hood: FEAR THE BUNNY

Smith: I certainly would

Hood: I’d hate to catch that fucking bunny in a rest stop restroom…you know what I mean?

Smith: I have no idea what you’re talking about

~Muffles grabs Curt around the waist, from behind. Canon freaks out, realizing he’s hooked. Muffles hoists him up and drops him with a German Suplex! The bunny KIPS up! The crowd is like “HOOOOLY SHIT” Muffles goes for the ladder. We zoom in on Canon’s face…he’s not busted open from the catapult…but his skin is irritated. Muffles snares the ladder~

Smith: And now Muffles is in total control…can you believe how close we are to seeing MUFFLES in the OCW Title scene?

Hood: And here I thought Bifford was the most ridiculous OCW Champion in company history

Smith: Actually that award should probably go to Special K…or Kreller Masters

Hood: Special K all day, every day

~Canon crawls to his feet. He staggers, holding the back of his head. Muffles throws the ladder at Curt. Curt catches the ladder out of instinct. Muffles charges forward with a BIG BOOT! He kicks the ladder right into Canon’s face!! Curt turns around and walks right into the cage!!! He spins around and falls, face first onto the mat. A “MUFFLES” chant begins. The bunny looks at the ladder before looking up at the roof of the cage~

Smith: He’s got a shot…there might be enough time for an escape

Hood: Or, ya know, he could try and pin Canon

Smith: True…excellent point, Hood!

Hood: But, I mean…this is OCW. And in OCW nobody actually gets pinned or submitted in cage matches

~The bunny takes the ladder and places it in the center of the ring. He begins to climb, slowly. Canon rolls over and sits up. Still no blood on the face of the former OCW Champion. He reaches over for the nearby ropes to use as support as he reaches a standing position. He spots Muffles halfway up the ladder. The crowd breaks out a “CANON” chant…energy fills the veins of Curt! He staggers toward a corner, ascending from the inside of the ring. He turns around and looks at the ladder. He’s about the same height from the mat as Muffles. The bunny is paying him zero attention…instead the creature keeps its focus on the door atop the cell. Canon LEAPS off…he soars through the air at Muffles…he reaches out, grabs the bunny’s head and takes him all the way down to the mat with a second SLINGBLADE!!! The ring shakes from the impact!!! The bunny is OUT! Canon rolls around, feeling the impact from his big landing~

Smith: A SUPER slingblade!

Hood: Mother fucker…I always forget how athletic that little guy is

Smith: He’s five feet, four inches…of course he’s athletic!

Hood: True…if he weren’t I guess he’d be TONY THE SPIDER

Smith: Hahaha

~Canon fights to his feet. Muffles is on his back. Canon runs for the ropes…he jumps onto the middle rope and springboards off…he rotates in mid air, flips over and lands on top of Muffles with a Senton!!! Canon goes for the pin. Scruff makes the count~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!

Smith: Nice attempt by Curt…but the bunny’s legs were too strong to keep down

Hood: Okay…which animal has stronger legs…a bunny…or a frog

Smith: Hmm…I gotta go with frog.

Hood: Okay…frog or kangaroo?

Smith: I don’t have time for this nonsense! I already gave you one answer…FROG

Hood: Ribbit

~Canon slaps the mat. But he pushes forward…a man that can’t be held back…just ask LURRR! Canon stands back, poised. Muffles gets to one knee, slowly. Canon sprints forward…he jumps off Muffle’s knee…as soon as he does, Muffles rises to his feet…he catches Canon in midair and throws him with a powerbomb INTO the ladder!!! The ladder flies backward…Canon lands, awkwardly on his ass in the middle of the ring! Muffles stands over Canon…the crowd seems torn at this point…some are booing…others are cheering for the bunny~

Smith: And Muffles again with a freakish show of strength and rehabilitation

Hood: He might be a cyborg. A CYBORG RABBIT

Smith: I don’t think he’s a cyborg

Hood: But do you KNOW he isn’t a cyborg?

Smith: No, I don’t know for sure

~Muffles goes for the ladder. Canon, though is already back on his feet have taken most of the fall on his ass which, for some reason, didn’t impact him as severely. Muffles throws a gigantic right paw into Canon’s head!! Canon staggers…Muffles scoops Curt up and drapes him over his shoulder. He marches toward the corner and tosses Curt up into the air…Canon falls down and SLAMS into the top buckle with Snake Eyes!! Muffles is poised behind Curt. Canon stumbles backward into the waiting arms of the bunny. Muffles hooks Canon and tosses him over his head with a Dragon Suplex!! Canon is folded up, near the ropes. Muffles returns to his feet and heads for the ladder~

Smith: And, for the first time the real threat of defeat looms. Canon is in trouble

Hood: A bunny performing a moved named after a dragon

Smith: Yea?

Hood: CLASSIC OCW BABY

~He sets the ladder up in the center of the ring, positioning it directly underneath the square ‘door’. Muffles begins his climb. The crowd stomps their feet and yell at Canon to get up. He slowly begins to stir…but not near quick enough. Muffles reaches the half way rung. Canon rolls on the apron, wedged up against the cell. Muffles gets over halfway up. Canon sits up, his left hand wrapped around the cell for leverage. Muffles nears the top. Canon pulls himself up. He’s in between the ropes and the cell. He leans forward, against the cell before rolling over and spotting Muffles at the top of the ladder. His eyes bug out. Muffles is messing with the door, trying to get it open~

Smith: He’s close to escaping the cell!

Hood: The fucking bunny is going to win this…isn’t he?

Smith: He’s got to be the favorite at the juncture. However…he’s still got to get down from the top of the cell

Hood: He’s a fucking bunny, man. He’ll just hop down.

~Canon grabs onto the top rope. He jumps up and springboards off! Muffles nearly has the latch to the door undone. Canon flies through the air and he lands on the ladder!!! The ladder starts to tip over with Muffles’ side falling backwards. Muffles bails! He displays tremendous athleticism but rotating one hundred eighty degrees and latching onto the side of the cell! The crowd ‘oohs and aahs’ at the bunny’s athleticism. Canon remains attached to the other side of the ladder. The ladder tips and falls! It lands on the ropes and ricochets off with Canon still holding on!! Using his weight and strength, Canon pulls the ladder back while catching the wave of momentum and he manages…somehow to get the ladder to stand back in the center of the ring! The crowd goes wild!!! Canon looks around, surprised~

Smith: Holy Smokes!! I thought Curt was in for a serious fall!

Hood: The fuck is he looking at…CLIMB!

Smith: Get that door open Canon…you can do it!

Hood: Geezus this guy is the dumbest hall of famer in OCW history!

~Canon scurries up the ladder, working on the door. The latch remains difficult to unhook…TYPICAL PRO WRESTLING TROPE. Finally, he gets the latch undone. We see Muffles scaling the side of the cell. Canon flips the door open. He has to stand on the very top of the ladder to get out. The ladder teeters and totters. Canon holds steady, trying not to fall. He finally LEAPS up…the ladder falls over…but Canon grabs hold of the door and starts to pull himself up. Muffles, meanwhile, continues to climb…reaching the roof of the cell~

Smith: He’s almost free!

Hood: The hell is the bunny doing…did he forget he’s a bunny?

Smith: I honestly stopped trying to figure Muffles out a long time ago

Hood: He’s no monkey…he’s a fucking BUNNY…what’s he going to do now that he’s reached the ceiling of the cell?

~Muffles grabs the ceiling of the cell with his hands…he crawls…he places his feet on the ceiling, hooking them into the grooves of the cell. And, suddenly, in quite possibly the WEIRDEST VISUAL IN OCW HISTORY we get Muffles the Bunny crawling, upside down along the roof of the cage. The crowd chants “OH FUCK! OH FUCK!” Canon’s legs are wiggling as he tries to get all the way out. Muffles is nearing Curt’s legs. He’s reaching out, trying to grab them before Canon can get out. The fans are filled with anxiety~

Smith: Ah! This reminds me of JAWS

Hood: Except instead of a badass Great White Shark attacking a naked, hot blonde we’ve got a rabbit trying to grab Curt Canon’s tiny legs

Smith: Indeed

~Muffles is close enough to grab Curt’s legs. He reaches out…just as he does Canon pulls his body through the square, rolling atop the cell! The crowd cheers! Muffles continues crawling toward the square opening. Canon gets to his feet on top of the cell and looks around. He’s never been in this situation before…he’s suddenly the TALLEST person in the WORLD! He throws his arms up and runs around, taking it all in. The crowd chants “CANON! CANON!”~

Smith: A nice moment for the Hall of Famer

Hood: What an idiot! Get down from there and win the fucking thing!

Smith: Sometimes it’s nice to stop and smell the roses, Hood

Hood: Not when a six foot tall BUNNY is chasing after you

~Canon takes a bow for the fans. Behind him we see Muffles crawling through the hole and standing atop the cell. Canon turns around and is SHOCKED to see Muffles. He falls on his ass from the surprise. Muffles stalks him. Canon throws his hands up, begging Muffles to not hurt him. Muffles doesn’t relent…he moves forward and snares Canon by the hair~

Smith: And now he’s in trouble

Hood: That’s what he gets for running around like he’d just won the freakin super bowl.

Smith: Call me crazy but I find it endearing…a man who’s been in the sport for this long still taking time to enjoy these moments

Hood: You Are CRAZY

~Muffles head butts the diminutive Canon a few times, staggering the former champion. Canon is reeling. Muffles grabs Canon by the arms and signals out for the crowd…half PRO BUNNY crowd goes wild. Muffles yanks Canon forward for IL TAV ID. Canon ducks!! Muffles stumbles forward and turns around. Canon leaps backwards with a Pele Kick! Muffles catches Canon and drops him with a Tombstone on top of the cage!! The Muffles fans go wild. The Canon fans groan with disappointment~

Smith: Ouch…this isn’t looking good

Hood: Of course not…it’s a two hundred pound bunny against Curt Canon

Smith: He was looking strong for a while, though

Hood: That’s the story of Canon’s career…just about the time you buy stock in the guy he lets you down

~Muffles motions to the crowd…he starts to do the bunny hope atop the cage. Some fans are nervous the top of the cell might collapse. It, however, appears STRONG AS OAK. Muffles stops near Canon…he leaps into the air and drives an elbow directly into Canon’s chest. The Muffles fans go wild! The bunny gets back to his feet…he locks wrist control on both of Canon’s arms…peeling the Hall of Famer off the roof of the cell~

Smith: And this one is just about over

Hood: Muffles into the OCW Title picture…hello darkness my old friend!

~Muffles has Canon in position…he yanks Curt forward and DRILLS him with IL TAV ID!!! Canon goes limp, collapsing onto the roof of the cage. Muffles stands over the beaten OCW Hall of Famer. The crowd urges him to do something. We hear a SCREECH! Muffles turns and spots CHECKERS running down the aisle and scaling the cell~

Smith: And Canon’s ally is here to help!

Hood: FOR THE LOVE…NOT THE FUCKING MONKEY!

Smith: So much for keeping Checkers out of this

Hood: Doesn’t this stupid primate grasp the concept of the food chain. Tiny simians do NOT go after two hundred pound mammals.

~Checkers scales the cell in record time! He reaches the top and lunges at Muffles. Muffles performs a spinning MULE KICK and DRILLS Checkers!! Checkers flies backwards, clearing the side of the cage. The simian SCREECHES all the way down, landing with a sad THUD in the dirt. The entire crowd is stunned into silence. Muffles stands at the edge of the cage, looking down at the tiny monkey’s body. He isn’t moving~

Smith: CHECKERS!!

Hood: Finally

Smith: Seriously?

Hood: Look man…monkeys, bunnies, SPIDERS…enough is enough…time to trim the fucking fat around here

~Canon’s body starts to shake. The Curt fans in the crowd go wild. He starts to get up. It’s as though Checkers’ injury has agitated something within the Hall of Famer. He reaches his feet and walks up behind Muffles who is still looking down at Checkers. Curt extends both hands, grabbing the ears of the Bunny!! He pulls back, hooks Muffles’ head and he drops Muffles on top of the cell with the Canon Cutter!!! The tent explodes!!! Both men are down, on top of the cell as Canon’s energy has dipped all the way back to zero~

Smith: Curt Canon experiencing a rush of adrenaline…a much needed rush of adrenaline!

Hood: No shit, it’s like he ate some spinach or something

Smith: You’re comparing him to Popeye? I think he’d take that!

Hood: I wouldn’t…means you’d have to fuck Olive Oil and…ewww

~Both men are down for a while. The crowd is split with dueling Muffles and Canon chants. Curt finally rolls over. He shoves Muffles onto his back. He grabs the Bunny’s ears and pulls them into the cage, between two openings. He starts to tie a knot~

Smith: Curt Canon…thinking…outside the box?

Hood: More like outside the CAGE

Smith: Not your best

Hood: Hey, I’m calling a match featuring a giant bunny and a pet monkey…cut me some slack

~Canon finally finishers. He sits up and crawls toward the edge of the cell. He starts to make his way down. Muffles starts to sit up…but can’t! His ears are tied around the roof of the cell. The bunny kicks his legs and waves his arms, trying to discern what’s happened. The crowd is fully behind Canon now. They are cheering him down. He’s halfway down the side of the cell. Muffles reaches back, feeling his bound ears. He works to untie them. Canon reaches the bottom of the cell and he hops off, into the dirt!!! The crowd cheers! The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner….CURT CANON!!!!!

Smith: He did it!! Canon did it!

Hood: I never thought I’d say this…but Curt Canon out smarted someone

Smith: Yes…yes he did!

Hood: I mean…technically it was a RABBIT…but, still, he outsmarted someone…or something

Smith: And now he’s in the OCW Title picture…after nearly twenty years Curt Canon is in OCW Title contention!

Hood: Are we coming full circle? Does this mean OCW is near its end?

~Canon stumbles to his feet, exhausted. He heads for Checkers. Inside the ring we see OCW staff climbing up the ladder to help Muffles untie his ears. Canon bends kneels next to Checkers. He strokes the little guy’s hair. He picks Checkers up, into his arms and carries him out of the pit. The fans clap and let out a thunderous “CHECKERS” chant. Curt, with his head bowed, exits the tent with an unconscious Checkers in his arms~

Smith: We can only hope Checkers is okay…that was a terrible fall

Hood: WE? Don’t include me in that…I hope the fucker is dead. It’s time for Canon to grow up. He’s in OCW Title contention…we don’t need no CHECKERS hanging around that belt

Smith: You are an evil man.

~Muffles finally gets his ears untied. He quickly scales the side of the cell and exits the ringside area~

Smith: Great effort by Muffles…I know I sound like a broken record but one day he’s gonna put it all together

Hood: Fuck…you see how quick he got down? There’s no way Canon would have won this fucking match if he didn’t tie those ears together

Smith: I can’t argue that. Anyway folks…it’s been an already LIVE start to the show and it’s only going to get LIVER!

Hood: LIVER? Like the organ?

Smith: Ahem, no…LIVELIER…I mean livelier

Hood: Just quit saying live. You’re not a millennial ya fucking goober

Smith: Okay…it did feel forced, if I’m being honest. Well we’re off to a hot start here in Papillion…the sun is waning over the western horizon…things are about to get very serious.

Hood: You about to wax poetic? Sweet!

Smith: HEY! Where are you going?

~Hood heads off to get another funnel cake~

Smith: I’m pretty sure my broadcast colleague has a major problem. Anyway…later this evening we’ll witness Josie Barnes and Ed Houston square off with an opportunity at making OCW history. Let’s head to the backstage area to see what The Purple VIP is up to

~The cameras cut to the back as Josie is seen standing outside of her PURPLE tent. She is ready for her upcoming title match. She was already in her ring attire, as she looks around at the unique, outdoor surroundings…the wrestlers and their personal tents. It was like she was watching for someone, waiting on someone. She seemed to be calm, which was a surprise. She smiles, as she spots her friend Trina heading towards her, carrying a box~

Josie: About time. I was hoping you would get back here soon.

Trina: I was... busy, a bit tied up with Amelia you could say.

~Josie looks at Trina, as she lightly shakes her head~

Josie: I don't want to know anymore.

~Trina smirks~

Trina: Oh like you have room to talk. Anyways though, here is the thing you wanted. All safe, and sound.

Josie: Great, let's go in my locker room. It's the last thing I need before I head outside. I can't very well make this special if I don't have the last piece of my attire.

Trina: Yeah, I am surprised you are doing this really. Didn't think you would be one for it.

~Josie lightly shrugs her shoulders~

Josie: We can all surprise people. Don't ever forget that. Let's go.

~They both turn, as they head into the locker room. The camera goes to follow to see what was in the box, but the door is shut before it can find out. We cut back to the announce team. Smith looks at Hood in amazement. He's finished a second funnel cake...this one quicker than the first~

Smith: I think you should see a doctor

Hood: Nah, I'm fine, trust me

~Hood licks the sugar off his fingers~

Smith: I'm not so sure about that

Hood: I know when to cut myself off...two is my limit. I am DONE for the evening

Smith: Whatever you say, Hood.

Hood: Hey, I'm serious. I'm strong as OAK.

Smith: Sure...anyway...you caught the last part of that segment with Josie. She sure does appear ready for tonight!

Hood: What was in that box? A GUN? Is she going to KILL Ed?

Smith: She said it was a piece of her attire

Hood: People wear guns, don’t they?

Smith: They wear holsters which hold guns

Hood: My goodness…the woman purchased a holster! ED! You need a bullet proof vest!

Smith: There is no evidence to support that crackpot theory…anyway, in just a few moments we’ll be subjected to a horrific match featuring two of OCW’s most sadistic talents. One of whom I find charming, in spite of her enthusiasm for sadism. The other…well he’s just about the worst human being in OCW history

Hood: Man, that’s a harder title to earn than wrestler of the year around here

Smith: Sure…but…before we get to that, I’m told we’ve got some footage featuring…you guessed it – Tony the Spider!

Hood: This guy is eating up WAY too much PPV time

~Fans are still making their way into the tent as we focus on Tony the Spider pacing in front of the visitor entrance. Tony had hoped some fans might recognize him, but so far no one even gives him a passing glance. A young man in cut off hooded sweater and low slung jeans approaches Tony~

Young man: hey buddy you need tickets?

Tony: Hahahahahahahahaha! Yes, finally.

~Tony reaches out and shakes the young man’s hands vigorously~

Tony: I would be happy to give you an autographed copy. I just need one ticket.

Young man: Nah man that’s okay.

Tony: OMG. you are so nice.

Young Man: (Reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a ticket) Face value is 75, but I’ll give it to you for 50.

Tony: dollars?

Young Man: yeah man. What you think this is, a charity?

Tony: (there is disappointment in his voice) for a minute there I thought you recognized me as Tony the Spider and you were going to give me tickets..

Young Man: Tony the Spider? I thought you were trying to dress up as a miniature version of some wrestler from the 80s! Who the fuck is Tony the Spider? You got money or nah? If not don’t waste my time.

~Tony reaches into his fanny pack and pulls out a roll of single dollar bills. I only have 25 dollars. I was hoping to save it for the strip club later~

Young man: (looks at the roll of cash and then nods) Ok fuck it. Here you go.

~The young man grabs Tony’s cash and slips a ticket into his hand. Tony smiles as he inspects the ticket. A look of fury comes over his face as he looks up, but the young man is already gone~

Tony: This is a ticket for the actual circus!!! Come back here with my money…

~Tony looks around, but it’s too late, the young man is nowhere in sight. We cut back to Smith and Hood inside the tent~

Smith: Amazing that he can get airtime yet can’t get into the arena

Hood: Sounds like more infighting between Zybala and Welsh. Welsh probably hates the guy and wants him nowhere NEAR the ring…yet Zybala somehow was able to okay this guy getting on the broadcast.

Smith: Maybe. Regardless, his quest to be a part of this amazing event forges ahead.

Hood: Yea and, well, he just blew a lap dance and half a drink on a worthless circus ticket. Guy is pretty much fucked, if you ask me

Smith: Well, I didn’t. Anyway, what a night we’ve had so far and it’s just getting started!

Hood: I’ve already had TWO funnel cakes. Thankfully I am a strong willed man and will stop at two. Anymore and I might become a damn diabetic by the end of the show!

Smith: Ahh, smell that aroma? Smells like a fresh batch has just been made

Hood: Hey…FUCK YOU

Smith: While you’re down there, pick me up a fried twinkie

Hood: Yea, you look like the kinda guy who’d go for that sorta thing. *grumbles* Give me five bucks

Smith: Here ya go

~Smith hands Hood a check for five dollars. Hood looks at him like he’s crazy~

Smith: I like to keep records of all my expenditures

Hood: IT’S FIVE DOLLARS

Smith: Every dollar counts

Hood: I’m not walking up to a fried twinkie stand and paying the eighteen year old working it with a CHECK. He probably doesn’t even know what the fuck a check is. Just keep the damn thing…but you owe me...WITH interest.

Smith: Suit yourself

~Hood exist the announce table and heads to get greasy, fried sweet snacks. Smith rips up his five dollar check into many incomprehensible pieces. He then returns his focus toward the camera~

Smith: Well while my esteemed colleague is off enjoying the atmosphere here in Papillion, I’d like to make a heartwarming announcement. You see, a few weeks ago Who’Re was tormented by OCW’s resident psycho, Tommy Crimson. She sought counseling, meaning we haven’t seen her since the encounter. Well I couldn’t be happier to report that Who’Re is back with us this evening! She’s down in the arena pit with a group of very special young ladies…Who’Re…take it away!

~We cut to a shot down inside the ring pit where Who’Re is leaning against the barricade with a mic in her hand. Behind her we see a motherly figure looking over a group of about ten girls – all aged between eleven and thirteen~

Who’Re: Aww, thank you Smith! It’s so great to be back. And, as regrettable as that encounter was…I think it’s honestly made me a stronger person.

~We suddenly notice that Who’Re is wearing far more appropriate attire. She’s showing less cleavage than usual. Several of the men in the audience boo~

Who’Re: And speaking of strength…I’m here with Lydia Boatwright. She’s in charge of the ‘Young Women’s Liberation’ club of New Mexico! And, as you can see, she’s brought with her ten of the most outstanding young women in the entire club.

~The young women behind Who’Re go wild. We notice they are all wearing Julliet Brooks merchandise. Miss Boatwright steps forward, ready to answer a few questions~

Who’Re: Miss Boatwright, exactly why have you brought these impressive young women to Nebraska today?

Miss Boatwright: Well these young women are all enormous Julliet Brooks fans. They really look up to her as someone they should emulate when it comes to getting things done and rising above historical rhetoric and societal stereotype.

Who’Re: Wow, I just love your energy!

Miss Boatwright: Thanks so much! When I heard about this Tommy Crimson fellow

~All the girls boo with the fury of ten thousand angry women~

Miss Boatwright: I just knew that I had to bring these girls out here to cheer The Pride of New Mexico on! These young women need to see, first hand, what standing up against violence and oppression looks like.

Who’Re: Amen to that!

~Who’Re and Miss Boatwright high five. They lock eyes for a moment. Some might say too long? But we aren’t here to judge! Who’Re suddenly reaches for her ear piece as Smith’s voice comes across the feed~

Smith: Who’Re…Smith here…how long has Miss Boatwright and the girls been at ringside?

Who’Re: Miss Boatwright and the YOUNG WOMEN of New Mexico have been down here for only a few minutes, Smith. They missed the opening match.

Smith: Umm, okay. Are they aware of what’s about to happen…what they are about to witness…I mean I get those are young ‘women’ but the impending violence is pretty hardcore.

Who’Re: Smith, stop trying to oppress, okay? They will be fine

Smith: Well, okay then.

~Miss Boatwright points at the light tubes which are being attached all over the place. We see light tubes taped to the ring ropes. We see them being taped around all four ring posts. They are also taped to the sides of all four aprons. More employees are spotted securing light tubes to every inch of the barricade surrounding the ring. A few dollies are rolled in with light tube topiaries. One is an elephant. The other is a lion. The final features a series of light tube rings – three to be exact~

Miss Boatwright: Oh my that’s a lot of lights! Are they going to light up in different colors? That would be quite spectacular…especially if it was for Julliet’s entrance!

Who’Re: You know, I’m not sure exactly what those are for, but you could be right

Smith: Umm, Who’Re, sorry to interrupt again but I couldn’t help overhearing Miss Boatwright’s question and thought I’d clarify that those are…

~Who’Re promptly turns her ear piece off. She hops over the barricade before the light tubes are attached to that section and sits next to Miss Boatwright. We cut to Smith. Hood is approaching from behind with a half eaten funnel cake and a fried twinkie~

Smith: Well, okay then.

Hood: Here’s your fried fuckin twinkie

Smith: Oh thanks!

Hood: Fuckin thing cost six dollars, not five. So, with interest, you now owe me ten dollars

Smith: Hey, wait a minute…that seems rather aggressive

Hood: Try the twinkie

~Smith bites into the twinkie. The experience appears to be euphoric. He smiles and takes another bite~

Hood: What were you saying about my aggressive interest rate?

Smith: Nothing…nothing at all. Ten bucks is fine. Man this is so good!

Hood: No shit. If we die…at least it will be a sweet death.

Smith: Mmhmm…let’s head down to ringside as it’s time for our next match. Holy smokes this is so good

Picture

450 Light Tube Match
Winner Will Receive a #1 Contenders Match at OCW’s Next Big Event
“The Fury” Tommy Crimson vs. ‘The Pride of New Mexico’ Julliet Brooks

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is a 450 light tube match and it is scheduled for ONE FALL! The winner will go on to OCW’s next major event and compete in a #1 Contenders Match! Introducing first…

~The lights go out then a female’s high pitched scream can be heard throughout the circus tent. The four sided cube OCWTron nestled atop the ring flashes. It’s snowy. It sketches in and out until finally become clear. We are shown a stage outside amidst the carnival action. Fans who are in line for games or food or other things all stop and look toward the stage. A spotlight hits the right side of the stage. The famed guitarist, Buckethead, stands in the light holding his guitar. Another spotlight hits on the opposite side of the entrance to reveal Kate Chruscicka, the world famous electric violinist.~

~She begins to strum her bow across the violin to play the opening chords to “Lux Aeterna”. The crowd grows crazy with rage as Buckethead comes in heavy with his guitar.~

~Two final spotlights shine behind the two artists to reveal an entire choir. The haunting voices create the perfect combination with the music. Buckethead picks up his playing as a red haze comes flowing from behind the tent flaps, filling the entrance walkway.~

Belvedere: Now making his way down the aisle… He weighs in at one hundred seventy three pounds while hailing from the Motor City! The FUUURRRYYYYY! TOMMY! CRIMSOOOOOON!

~Tommy Crimson remains when the thick red smoke clears out. He wears a large goat head mask which further enrages the crowd.~

~The music blasts as Tommy makes his way through the entrance, slicing through whatever red smoke remains. The mask appears to have small maggots falling from it which scares any and all small children in the audience. The mask was created by Tom Savini, famed horror special effects artist. Miss Boatwright is seen reaching for her mouth saying, “Oh My.” It’s almost as though she’s wondering what she’s gotten herself and the YOUNG WOMEN into~

~The violin and guitar play Clint Mansell’s masterpiece to absolute perfection. The Fury walks up to the ring. He notices the light tube topiaries. He witnesses the light tubes surrounding the arena and lining the entire ring. He nods with unbridled excitement. He reaches the steps and slowly ascends. Carefully he walks along the apron and finds a slit he can slide through without bumping into or breaking any of the light tubes. That, will come later~

Smith: And there’s Crimson in all his creepiness. He certainly appears ready

Hood: *smack, smack* Okay I am DONE with funnel cakes for the evening. But what’s that about Crimson? Oh yea, he looks ready to spit fire…flamer style!

Smith: Interesting choice of mask

Hood: What the fuck is falling out of it..rice?

Smith: I believe those are maggots, Hood

Hood: YUCK

~For some reason, Crimson keeps the mask on. The maggots continue to arbitrarily fall from the animalistic accoutrement. The band finishes playing the intense version of a truly amazing song. Once finished, the crowd surrounding the stage go wild. The band gives them a tip of the hat, so to speak. All OCWTron’s suddenly flip over to the ring, focusing on Crimson. He leans in a corner, staring at the entrance, ready for The Pride of New Mexico. A ‘JULLIET!’ chant begins to fill the tent…it spreads throughout the circus grounds. Fans cease what they are doing and gather around the dozens of OCWTrons outside, eager for the encounter. The ‘JULLIET!’ chants increase in voracity. The Nebraskan sky becomes filled with her name~

Smith: I think these fans are ready for The Pride of New Mexico!

Hood: People are idiots, Smith

Smith: Not these people! They are here to watch justice prevail. They are here to see heroes right the wrongs of evil. They are here to watch Julliet Brooks beat Tommy Crimson within an inch of his miserable life!

Hood: Really?

Smith: Yes sir!

Hood: Sucks that they’ll all be disappointed in about twenty minutes

~”JULLIET! JULLIET! JULLIET!” the crowd is READY. Miss Boatwright, still showing signs of concern, watches her youth group join in with the chants. Who’Re returns with a brand new Julliet shirt she just purchased. She pulls it down, over her preexisting attire. She, too, joins in the chants. Crimson looks around the tent, soaking in the cheers. His goat head remains expressionless but his eyes tell the story of a man who is in his element~

Smith: Listen to this crowd!

Hood: The hell is the WHORE doing in the crowd? Did we fire her?

Smith: That’s why you should never leave the announce table, Hood

~”Down” by Otep hits!! The crowd goes CRAZY! The fans all bounce around to the song. A few familiarized with the lyrics sing along. Right as the song hits its crescendo we see The Pride of New Mexico burst through the tent flaps! She’s wielding a light tube! She holds it up in the air much to the crowd’s delight. We get a shot of Crimson. He remains leaning in the corner, giving a slow clap. Brooks marches down the entrance way as the crowd chants her name. People reach over, hoping to give her a pat on the back. She steps foot in the pit and spots the topiaries and the ring covered with light tubes. A sadistic smile slowly slides across her face~

Smith: She looks ready, Hood! Brimming with confidence

Hood: She looks psychotic!

Smith: Hey, she’s not the one wearing a goat head filled with live maggots

Hood: I’m not going to chalk that up to insanity just yet, Smith. I’m going to give Crimson the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he has a rash on his face and that’s some old, medieval cure.

Smith: Negative. He’s a psycho

Belvedere: And his opponent! From Albuquerque, New Mexico…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…The Pride of New Mexico…Julliet Brooks!!!

~Brooks hustles up the ring steps and flies through the ropes with ease, averting all nearby light tubes. She heads for the corner opposite Crimson and poses for the fans…the entire tent is ravenous with Julliet fever! She holds up her light tube…the crowd yells in response, “FUCK YEA!” She hops off the middle buckle and bounces from foot to foot, limbering up. Her theme comes to an end~

Smith: I’m getting the feeling Crimson might have bit off more than he can chew

Hood: Why the fuck was she given a light tube pre-match? Isn’t that, ya know CHEATING

Smith: There are 450 of them, Hood. No reason to think there weren’t a few to spare

Hood: Gotta love America…people out there without any electricity and here we are about to smash 450 light tubes for the sake of entertainment. MURICA!

~Carefully, Belvedere exits the ring and makes sure to avoid all light tubes. He approaches his seat in the pit, pauses and decides to exit the arena altogether. The bell sounds! The crowd leaps to their feet with excitement. We get another shot of Miss Boatwright who suddenly realizes those lights are for an entirely different purpose. She sits down with nervous posture. Brooks faces Crimson and points at him with the light tube. Crimson reaches up for his goat mask~

Smith: Well, at least he’s going to wrestle with that thing off

Hood: Of course he is…he’s not goat man, Smith

Smith: Well, ya know, it was kinda hard to tell

~Crimson removes the goat mask. At first the fans are relieved…that relief is followed immediately by horror. We see maggots crawling in and around his mouth. He nonchalantly tosses the goat mask out of the ring while spitting the rogue maggots from his mouth, to the dirt. For some stupid reason the camera zooms in on the maggots squirming around in the dirt. Crimson raises both arms and motions for Brooks to come at him. She wastes no time in obliging~

Smith: Ugh! What goes on in that man’s head?

Hood: I’d recommend we take a tour but we’d need more than a flashlight to see through anything that dark

Smith: Indeed

~Brooks rears back with the light tube, ready to strike. Crimson darts out of the way. Brooks refrains from lunging and spins around. Crimson charges at her with a clothesline! Brooks ducks! Crimson runs toward the ropes but manages to stop before crashing into the light tubes. He turns around and sees Brooks swinging her light tube at his head! He tucks and rolls, returning to his feet in the center of the ring. Brooks quickly spins around. Crimson throws a round house kick her way…she ducks it. Crimson then goes for a kick aimed at her knee…Brooks leaps over that kick attempt. Her feet hit the mat and Crimson returns to a striking posture…they remain still, ready for each other’s next move. The crowd goes wild~

Smith: Who will draw first blood?

Hood: Probably the one holding the fucking light tube

Smith: Neither were able to land anything resembling a blow during that sequence. It seems both their senses are heightened

Hood: It’s the Greatest Show on Earth! Tonight the winners rise to the top while the losers return to the start.

~Crimson stands upright. Brooks relaxes her posture. The two start circling one another, each looking for an opening. Crimson steps in but Brooks swipes at him with the light tube. He backs up. For the first time we see frustration on The Fury’s face. He looks over his shoulder at the light tubes taped to the ropes. He reaches for one. As he does, he sees Brooks reaching back to hit him. He turns around, quickly and darts out of the way. Brooks refrains from swinging. Crimson stomps at the mat, angry~

Smith: Crimson is in a tough spot. He can’t out quick Brooks…which is what he needs to do if he wants to avoid being hit by that tube.

Hood: Yea and all those other fucking tubes are stuck to the ropes. By the time he peeled one off she’d stab him in the back with glass

Smith: He could slide out

Hood: I guess…but it’s not like he could do that real quick either…I mean there’s not much room for a grown ass man to fit through there without a little ‘worming’

Smith: Can we please not use the word ‘worm’ the rest of the evening? Those maggots were so gross

~After a slight hissy fit, Crimson recomposes and looks at Brooks. He says, “Alright, come on.” He motions for Julliet to hit him. Brooks seems nonplussed. She looks to the crowd for guidance. They all yell “HIT HIM!” She shrugs and swings a violent, home run type swing at Crimson’s head. Crimson ducks! He rotates and gets position behind a stumbling Brooks. He hooks his arms around her waist! Brooks tries to break free, but Tommy is too strong. Crimson starts to laugh. He’s outsmarted The Pride of New Mexico. Reluctant to give her any room to maneuver, he delivers a few head butts into her back. Julliet’s legs weaken. She maintains her grip on the light tube. Crimson picks her up into the air and on his shoulders in the Electric Chair position. Brooks springs to life! She takes the metal end of the light tube and jams it into Tommy’s face!! Crimson yells out in pain! He drops Julliet…she lands on her feet! Crimson grasps at his face, shaking his head, stumbling around. He stands upright, opens his one, uninjured eye and looks at Julliet. CRASH! Julliet swings with all her might and bashes Crimson across the face with the light tube! The crowd goes wild!!!~

Smith: YES! First point goes to Julliet!

Hood: Calm the fuck down…there are still, like 449 light tubes at Crimson’s disposal

Smith: I wonder if every one of them will get used…

Hood: I have no idea. I don’t think the people in charge have any idea. I think if you asked management how many light tubes will be used tonight, they’d respond, “A shit ton.”

~Crimson covers the impacted side of his face. Brooks rushes for the ropes, working to remove a few more tubes. Crimson removes his hand and sees a bright, red palm. There’s a decent gash on the side of his forehead. His red palm balls up into a leaky fist. He marches toward Julliet. She is able to pry a light tube free. She turns around but is met with a hand wrapped around her throat! Crimson’s right hand clinches down on her windpipe. He points at the gash with his left hand. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!” he yells. Brooks coughs and chokes…but somehow, through the pain and discomfort, she’s able to laugh at his injury. This does NOT help matters. Crimson’s eyes widen…he hoists Julliet into the air and chokeslams her over the top rope!! She lands on the apron with a sickening thud!!! She remains atop the apron, on her back. She drops the freed light tube to the dirt surface surrounding the ring. Her hand, hanging from the apron feels around all the light tubes attached to the side of the ring. Crimson continues to inspect the wound on his forehead~

Smith: No!! That vile creature might have injured her back!

Hood: He’s the vile creature? She sliced him open with a light tube!

Smith: She was merely defending herself

Hood: So was he!

~Crimson finally gets over the fact he’s been gashed and decides to just deal with the blood running down the left side of his face. He marches over toward the side of the ring where Julliet lies. He pulls three light tubes from the ropes and lays them down parallel in the center of the ring. He gets on his knees, reaches under the bottom rope and grabs Brooks by the hair…he drags her into the ring and gets to his feet. He snares Brooks by the hair and pulls her up. Julliet reaches for her back, in obvious discomfort. Crimson hoists her up for a body slam. Julliet’s legs are pointed high in the air…Crimson is somewhat showing off the strength disparity. He has her positioned for a slam on top of the three light tubes. Brooks starts to fight back with a few downward elbow strikes into the left side of Crimson’s face, where the gash resides. He stumbles and loosens his grip. Brooks wraps her legs around his head and slings forward, sending Crimson flying across the ring with a flying headscissors! Crimson slides safely into a corner, his knees brushing up against the bottom buckle. He shakes his head, dazed. Brooks gets to her feet and reaches for two of the light tubes atop the mat. The fans go wild. We spot the YOUNG WOMEN…they are going crazy yelling for Brooks to hit Crimson with the tubes. Miss Boatwright shows further concern~

Smith: That a girl! Way to bounce…or should I say SWING back into it

Hood: She’s a swinger? Makes sense

Smith: What on Earth are you talking about…she’s not even married

Hood: You don’t have to be hitched to be a swinger, Smith.

~With both hands carrying a light tube, Brooks approaches Crimson from behind. He’s still seated, facing the corner. She jams the metal end of one of the tubes into his back! Crimson’s shoulders raise due to the pain rushing through his back. He gets to his feet and turns around. Brooks smashes a light tube over the top of his head! He yells “FUCK!” and grasps at the top of the head. Instinctively he ducks, shielding his head. Brooks calls an audible and smashes the second light tube over his back! He arches his back and stumbles forward, wincing in pain. The bloodlust filled crowd goes wild. “BROOKS” chants fill the tent~

Smith: Look at her go! She’s really giving it to him now…payback is a witch!

Hood: Payback is a witch? Ya know man I think that’s more offensive than saying bitch

Smith: I will not capitulate and curse, Hood. I will NOT

Hood: Alright, fine, calm down…geez

~Brooks snares the third loose light tube. She heads directly toward Crimson. Crimson’s face is covered in blood. He’s leaning, front first in the corner with his arms draped over the ropes. Brooks stalks him, poised. He turns around. She swings the light tube…Crimson catches her arms! Brooks kicks him in the groin!! Crimson doubles over…he falls to both knees. Brooks spins around and delivers a roaring light tube smash into the right side of Crimson’s head!!! The crowd erupts!! Crimson falls over, limply. “PIN HIM!” the crowd yells. The YOUNG WOMEN are jumping up and down. Miss Boatwright seems to have given up on being worried…she’s leaning forward now, anxiously watching the match. Brooks goes for the pin…Scruff carefully drops to his knees for the count~

1!

Kick Out!!

Smith: Wow…she couldn’t even keep him down for a two count

Hood: That’s because Crimson is better than Brooks

Smith: A bit presumptuous…she just needs to work him down some more

Hood: I swear you are the most biased commentator of all time.

~Brooks heads for the nearest corner, determined. She climbs to the middle rope and motions toward the elephant shaped light tube topiary. OCW ring crew members rush over…she orders them to move it near the corner. The crowd responds with this ‘oh shit’ gasp. They roll it closer to the ring…Julliet tells them to stop~

Smith: Julliet Brooks taking time out to admire the fine art put together by our staff

Hood: Are you fucking stupid or just trying to piss me off

Smith: Neither

Hood: She isn’t admiring shit. She wants to PUT Crimson THROUGH that glass elephant

Smith: There you go again, trying to run her name through the muck

~Before Brooks can hop down a messy forearm shot drills her in the lower back. She leans forward. The camera pans out to reveal a bloodied Crimson repeatedly nailing Brooks with desperate forearms. She’s wobbling…leaning forward further and further. She’s just about to topple head first out of the ring when Crimson reaches up and snares the back waistband of her pants. He steps up and once again places her in the Electric Chair position. The crowd rises with anticipation. He starts to climb the corner~

Smith: What is this evil man planning?

Hood: Couldn’t be worse than what Brooks had in her warped brain

Smith: Her brain is not warped

Hood: And water isn’t wet

~Crimson reaches the second buckle…and keeps going. He reaches the top turnbuckle and stands upright. He places his right foot up against the ring post for support. Brooks suddenly realizes the position she’s in. She spins around, switching positions. She leans back, looking for a huricanrana…but Crimson blocks it! Brooks is hanging upside down! Crimson swings Brooks to the left and then swings her violently to the right…her head PINGS off the top of the ring post! The crowd groans at the sound! Brooks is limp. Crimson hoists her up into the powerbomb position~

Smith: NO!

Hood: Fuck yes! Drill that fucking bitch right through the glass elephant

Smith: What a weird sentence

Hood: Shit, you’re telling me

~Crimson tosses Brooks off with a JACKNIFE POWERBOMB! She CRASHES through the glass elephant, shattering every last bit of solid glass! The crowd screams with horror. The YOUNG WOMEN all hide their faces. Miss Boatwright buries her face into the comfy bosom of Who’Re. Crimson remains standing atop the corner, blood dripping from his chin, laughing at the carnage he has orchestrated. The crowd starts to boo~

Smith: Oh my goodness! That’s it…it’s over. She can’t come back from that

Hood: Nope, she’s fuckin dead. And yet nothing of value was lost

Smith: One more comment like that and I’ll…

Hood: You’ll what

Smith: GET VERY UPSET

~Crimson hops off the top buckle onto the apron. He steps off the apron, onto the dirt surface. He yanks several light tubes away from the side of the ring. Crimson then grabs the cloth hanging from the apron and begins to wipe the blood from his face, improving his vision. All the while Brooks is covered in glass, motionless. Scruff heads over to check on her. She’s lying, on her side atop thousands of tiny glass shards with hundreds more covering her body. It’s too early to tell if she’s cut and, if so, how often and deep~

Smith: And now he’s just soaking it in, isn’t he?

Hood: No, technically the ring apron is soaking it in. He’s drying himself off, Smith!

Smith: You know what I mean!

~Scruff is able to maneuver Brooks onto her back. As he does, the crowd gasps. The entire left side of Brooks face and exposed skin is covered in cuts and trickling blood. Crimson, upon hearing the reaction, looks up to the four sided OCW Tron above the ring. He sees what we see and laughs, taking pleasure in his work. He drops the apron cloth and heads over to the shattered elephant. He shoves Scruff out of the way and bends over, getting a closer look at Julliet’s injuries~

Smith: Just end the match! Pin her and get it over with!

Hood: Can he pin her out there?

Smith: It’s a 450 light tube match…I’m pretty sure they can pin each other wherever they want. Why even think about the rules once you move beyond 10 light tubes, huh?

Hood: Okay, fine, calm down, geez

~Crimson begins talking trash to Julliet. Suddenly, she reaches up and grabs him by the nose! Crimson yells out in pain. She gets to her knees and yells as the tiny shards cut through her ring attire and into her skin. She stumbles to her feet…one half of her body red, the other half Julliet. Crimson chops down at her arm, where the elbow bends. Julliet loses her grip. Crimson shoves her off the rolling platform covered in glass! She flies off and lands with a thud onto the dirt. She rolls around…the dirt sticks to her bloodied, left side. Crimson steps onto the glass platform and then over it, onto the dirt, stalking Julliet. He grabs her by the hair and drags her toward the Lion topiary. He points at it and screams into her face. Julliet responds with, “Do it.” Crimson is somewhat taken back by this but he dare not deny her request. He knees her in the gut. He grabs her by the hair on the back of her head and the back waistband of her pants…he swings her once, twice and hurls her head first THROUGH the lion topiary!! It shatters into a thousand pieces! She tumbles out on the other side, rolling through the dirt. The fans hurl insults toward Crimson. A “FUCK YOU” chant is birthed. Crimson extends his arms and urges the fans to let it rain~

Smith: NO! NO! Can somebody please step in and end this! And those YOUNG WOMEN in the front row! They have to be traumatized witnessing this!

Hood: Hey, ya gotta grow up at some point

Smith: Yea but growing up should be a step by step learning process…not a crash course through light tubes fashioned to look like wild animals

Hood: When you put it that way…man my pubescent years were boring as fuck

~Our view focuses on the bloodied and battered body of Brooks. The top of her head appears to be gashed, somewhere within the thick strands of her once opulent hairstyle. A shadow hovers over her haggard physique. It belongs to The Fury. His shadow lingers over her in triumph. His foot comes into view, it rests arrogantly atop her chest. Scruff hustles in for the count~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP!

Smith: Oh no! Stay down, Julliet! Live to fight another day!

Hood: The fuck was that shit? Her shoulder came up like two inches…did we just experience one of those famous Nebraskan earthquakes I’ve heard so much about?

Smith: It was no earthquake, Hood! It was the will, heart and determination of a true fighter! And, besides, Nebraska is not famous for their earthquakes. I’m not even sure I’ve ever heard of an earthquake in Nebraska.

Hood: That’s because nobody lives in this fuckin state. It’s like a tree falling in the forest.

~Like the true sociopath he is, Crimson becomes enraged by Julliet kicking out. More so than any act of violence she perpetrated against his body at any point earlier in the match. He reaches down and grabs her by the hair, screaming every derogatory adjective for the word ‘female’ he can conjure. Once he’s done, he gets to his feet and locates Miss Boatwright and the YOUNG WOMEN. A nasty idea scrolls across his demented thought process~

Smith: Oh no…don’t take him over there!

Hood: Hey, if they don’t like it they shouldn’t be here

Smith: I don’t think they knew what they were getting into!

Hood: Well then that’s Miss Floatkite’s fault. Stupid bitch

Smith: It’s Boatwright!

~Crimson presents the shredded, pummeled version of what used to be The Pride of New Mexico to the YOUNG WOMEN, Who’Re, and Miss Boatwright. He yells at them, “See this! This is what your bullshit women liberation gets you! Get your heads out of the clouds and your asses back into the kitchen!” Crimson follows that up by spitting at the YOUNG WOMEN. The crowd becomes enraged. They boo and throw stuff down at The Fury. He doesn’t mind at all. We spot one of the YOUNG WOMEN yank a light tube from the side of the barricade. The others follow suit. Crimson hasn’t picked up on what’s going on. He’s taking the unanimously angry crowd in with childlike wonder. He’s the vision of an accomplished pioneer. He releases his hold on Julliet and basks in the glory of momentary triumph. He steps back, leaning up against the barricade, and arm’s length from the YOUNG WOMEN of New Mexico~

Smith: Never in my life have I seen a man so energized by hate

Hood: There’s gotta be some type of sexual term for that shit. Dude is straight getting off on it

Smith: And, yet, for some reason, you’re pulling for him to win

Hood: Well, I mean you have to consider the options. On one hand you have a sociopath who masturbates to hate and violence while wearing a HUMAN FLESH jacket and sometimes a goat head with maggots spilling out. On the other hand you have – Julliet Brooks.

~Continuing to soak in the vitriolic aura, Crimson doesn’t notice an impending swarm of revenge. Light tubes, one after the other, start to crash over his head. He jumps and winces and recoils. He turns around to figure out what’s going on. The YOUNG WOMEN of New Mexico are bashing him with every light tube they can gather. He tries to fight them off but they are a swarm! A few of them take the jagged end of their tattered tube and stab at Crimson with it. A few even make contact, gashing Crimson on the shoulder, and arm, and upper chest. Crimson staggers around…despite the youth in age, enough is enough. He’s about to fall. He turns, punch drunk. Miss Boatwright rears back and CRUSHES Crimson across the face with a light tube!! He stumbles forward. Who’Re balls up her right hand and thrusts forward with a right haymaker to the jaw!!! The crowd goes wild!!!! Crimson spins around before crashing face first into a mixture of his own blood and dirt. The crowd chants ‘FUCK YES!’ The YOUNG WOMEN join in with the explicit chant. Miss Boatwright leads them on~

Smith: YES! There we go! Take that!

Hood: Are you seriously cheering the fact that a bunch of pre-teen girls assaulted a grown man with glass?

Smith: I’m cheering the fact that those YOUNG WOMEN stood up for themselves and what they believe in!

Hood: Ugh man, I think I’m gonna puke up all three funnel cakes. The only plus side is it would make room for more funnel cake.

~A bloodied Brooks struggles to her feet. Her body is caked with dirt. Her focus is scattered, far away. She wobbles on her feet. Crimson pushes up, getting to his knees. He, like Brooks, is a bloody, dirty mess. The young women cheer for Brooks! The crowd picks up on the chant…the entire tent is thunderous with ‘Brooks’ chants. Julliet’s stance hardens. Her focus returns. She rushes forward, leaps into the air and drills Crimson in the side of the head with a Shining Wizard!! The crowd goes wild!! Brooks struggles back to her feet. The young women and Miss Boatwright hurl words of encouragement to Brooks. A bottle of water is tossed her way. Brooks downs half the bottle before using the rest to get the caked, bloody dirt off her face~

Smith: Alright! It’s late in the match and The Pride of New Mexico is in full control!

Hood: AND she’s wasting water. Heartless bitch…there are dehydrated people all over the world AND in Las Vegas right now who would KILL for some water

Smith: So I guess she should just continue the match with her face covered in dirt

Hood: Are you saying she’s TOO GOOD for the Nebraskan earth?

Smith: Stop twisting my words

~Brooks heads near the ring. She finds the three rings…the final topiary which was brought out at the start of the match. The three rings are attached to a rolling, plastic platform. They are organized one behind the other, in succession. It appears to be a test of some kind. A dare for someone to jump through. Brooks takes the glass hoop display and lifts it into her arms – it’s not near as heavy as it looks. She drops it into the ring. Crimson, meanwhile, is on his feet. He backs up near the wall lining the pit. He suddenly realizes the young women are there! He freaks out and hurries away from them. His escape from the YOUNG WOMEN lead him near the ring. His head continues looking over his shoulder. He finally turns around…when he does, Brooks leaps off the apron with a Huricanrana!! She tosses Crimson across the dirt surface! The crowd goes wild! Brooks pops back to her feet…her stamina seems to be increasing. The fans are having a major, positive impact. She rolls into the ring and begins to wheel the rings around for a specific purpose~

Smith: I think Julliet has something planned with those rings

Hood: Oh, gee, ya think so, Smith?

Smith: Your sarcasm is unnecessary

~Crimson returns to his feet. He crawls near the edge of the ring. Brooks heads that way. She bends over, sliding her upper torso through the middle and top rope. Crimson’s head and arms are under the ring. He comes back out, turns around and sits up. Brooks grabs him by the hair! The crowd cheers. Crimson is pulled to his feet. He has something in his right hand! He lifts his hand up and SQUIRTS a liquid into Julliet’s face!!! Brooks lets Crimson go and staggers around the ring. She’s in tremendous pain, grasping at her eye. Crimson laughs…he holds up a bottle of LIGHTER FLUID! He tosses it over his shoulder, it lands in the ring. He turns around and goes back under the ring in search of something. The crowd yells “FUCK THE FURY”~

Smith: LIGHTER FLUID! My gosh…that could blind her!

Hood: An eye patch gimmick, eh? That might work for Julliet

Smith: No it would not…she’s beautiful…why would you wish any form of mutilation for her face?

Hood: Hey! I didn’t WISH it…I just said an eye patch might work. Don’t turn me into some Ike Turner type mother fucker

~Crimson emerges with a BULLROPE! The crowd boos HEAVILY! He slides into the ring with the bullrope in his grasp. Julliet turns around, unaware, still rubbing at her eye. Crimson DRILLS her with a superkick!! She falls to the mat. Crimson hooks one end of the bullrope to her left arm. He drags her near one side of the rings and tosses the loose end of the rope through the rings, to the other side. Crimson takes the lighter fluid…he squirts the rings, soaking them in the flammable substance. He reveals a LIGHTER from his pants! A few fans yell “OLD SCHOOL” They are instantly mugged by the fans surrounding them. Crimson sets the three rings on FIRE! He heads to the other end and grabs hold of the bull rope~

Smith: Oh no!! He is going to drag her through those flaming rings!

Hood: TOMMY FLAMER LIVES

Smith: In some form. I suppose he never left

Hood: CLASSIC OCW BABY

~Crimson begins dragging Julliet near the ropes. The crowd starts to freak out and scream. Brooks remains out. She gets dangerously close to the flames. The heat seems to make her stir. She opens her eyes…one is red and heavily irritated. She closes it instantly. The other appears fine. It sees the impending danger! Brooks gets to her knees, panicking. She looks through the rings at a horrific sight. She sees the blood soaked face of Tommy Crimson laughing through the three, flaming rings. This image displays on the screens above the ring and out in the circus grounds. All the fans in attendance gasp in horror~

Smith: That man is SICK

Hood: Yea, well he’s about to win arguably the biggest match in his OCW career

Smith: C’mon Julliet…you can do this!

~Crimson is too strong for Brooks. She tries to fight back but inches closer and closer to being dragged through the rings. She extends her free, right hand. The fingers graze upon the side of the bottle of lighter fluid. She reaches further and further…she finally secures the bottle. Brooks turns around and squires the fluid through the rings. The flames KICK up with intensity! Some of her fluid hits Crimson on the left arm. His left arm goes up in flames! The crowd goes wild!! Crimson instantly lets go of the rope, working to put his arm out. Brooks leans over, bites at the knot around her wrist and gets the bull rope off. She marches around the rings toward Crimson. The crowd is chanting “FLAMER! FLAMER!”~

Smith: Crimson is on fire!

Hood: I don’t know why he’s running around like that…go to the top rope man…that’s your move!

Smith: WAS his move, Hood. Was

~Brooks reaches Crimson. His back is to her…he’s slapping at his arms…the flames are beginning to dissipate. Brooks hooks him from behind, lifts him up and tosses him into the rings with a Full Nelson Slam!!! Crimson CRASHES through the rings! The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT!” He arches his back and rolls out of the glassy flames instantly!!! His back is covered with tiny glass shards…a few flames flicker around his body, but nothing too perilous. Brooks takes what remains of the glass ring platform…she dumps the glass onto the mat. She tosses the platform out of the ring. She pulls Crimson up…his left arm is no longer on fire. She drops him atop the glass with another Full Nelson Slam!! She snares light tubes from the ropes and lays them on top of The Fury. She heads for the nearest corner. The fans are going wild~

Smith: Here we go! Amaterasu!

Hood: Son of a fucking bitch!

Smith: She may be crazy…but dang it…she’s one heck of a competitor!

~Brooks reaches the top buckle. She bends at the knees and jumps! Crimson gets to his feet out of nowhere! Brooks is in the air, she doesn’t see this…she’s in the midst of her double rotation moonsault. Crimson positions himself…Brooks comes down…Crimson leaps into the air, he grabs her by the head and drops her, face first on the light tubes with MindFucked (Sit Out Facebuster!!) The crowd booos!! Crimson turns Julliet over…we see glass shards stuck in his legs. We see Julliet’s face covered in glass. Crimson makes the cover…Scruff, carefully, finds a place on the mat to make the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner….“THE FURY” TOMMY CRIMSON!!!!!

Smith: No!! I thought she had him!

Hood: Haha, so did she. I love it!

Smith: That’s twice now that Julliet has come so close to earning a big win in OCW…only to fall short

Hood: Yea, well maybe she should try a different type of match. Get away from the light tubes

Smith: I don’t think that’s it…I just think it’s OCW…this place isn’t easy

Hood: Finally we agree on something. Fuck man…both those bitches are TORN up

Smith: Indeed…there will be a lot of bandages and disinfectant going on tonight. They may even need to be transported to a local medical facility

Hood: You mean a fucking hospital?

Smith: Yes, a hospital. Let’s just hope both competitors emerge from this with minimal lasting damage. Heck of an effort from Brooks…we are proud to have her. As for the deplorable Crimson…well, I’m sure this win will put him into the OCW Title picture

Hood: Of course it does…doesn’t this get him a #1 Contenders Match FOR an OCW Title shot

Smith: I believe it does…and as much as I dislike the man…he’s earned it.

Hood: Dude is about to set FIRE to the OCW record books

Smith: Let’s just keep him away from fire, okay? Well we’ve seen a lot so far…to be honest, I’m sorta sick at my stomach after that last match. So I’m gonna get some water…fresh air and recuperate…in the meantime…let’s head to the GM’s luxurious trailer.

~We cut backstage to the office of OCW GM Marcus Welsh. The surroundings tell us that he’s seated in a high-end trailer. You know…the type a really spoiled actor would demand. He’s seated in his chair, leaning over his desk. We see what appear to be legal documents in his direct line of sight. The term ‘Oh Shit’ is clearly visible. Welsh leans back and pounds his fist against the desktop~

Marcus Welsh: See? This is what happens when you go over your roster cap, Marcus. Now you’ve got a huge fucking mystery on your hands.

~There is a knock at the door~

Marcus Welsh: Yea!

~Knux enters with OCW newcomer Anthony Wentz at his side. Welsh perks up. He motions for Wentz to take a seat in one of the chairs opposite his desk~

Anthony Wentz: You wanted to see me?

Marcus Welsh: Sure did…first off, apologies about not being booked for the show. If I had it my way you would have been involved in that Craze Championship. Unfortunately Commissioner Zybala had other plans.

~Wentz fidgets in his chair a bit, obviously somewhat dismayed by the news. He continues to listen to Welsh~

Marcus Welsh: Good news is I have purview over much larger aspects of this company. Namely, the OCW Title scene. Now I’m not saying we put you into contention just yet…what I am saying is that I will give you every opportunity at my disposal to ensure that you rise through the ranks ala Kestrel…you get me?

Anthony Wentz: I think so…but I’ve seen these types of scenes in movies before so…what do I have to do?

Marcus Welsh: That’s the best part. All you have to do is accept a well paying job for the evening. You wouldn’t mind making say…five grand for very little work, would you?

~Wentz leans forward~

Anthony Wentz: You’ve got my attention.

~And with that we cut back to the announce team~

Smith: I don’t like the sounds of that…Welsh is trying to corrupt one of our young stars!

Hood: Corrupt? He’s offering him a HUGE opportunity. Welsh isn’t the bad guy here, Smith. Zybala is the antagonist.

Smith: Well that’s just your opinion

Hood: No, it’s a fact. If Zybala were in complete charge of this place it would burn to the ground. Welsh is doing everything he can to ensure this place maintains its sterling reputation.

Smith: I personally see nothing wrong with adding a little spice into the equation but…to each their own. I just wonder what ‘job’ Welsh has in store for Wentz.

Hood: For five fucking grand you know it’s gotta be important.

Smith: That’s exactly what I’m afraid of

Hood: Wentz is like a pirate now, right? So just think of this as him securing a giant loot or booty or whatever the hell they call their treasure

Smith: Maybe...well I'm told AKB is standing by at the site where Bob Grenier was supposed to have been married by now...you have an update for us AKB?

~We cut to a shot of AKB. He's dancing with two drunk bridesmaids. He's got a bottle of champagne in one hand and a mic in the other~

Smith: ALPHA!

AKB: Oh, Smith...WHAT'S UP!

Smith: I'm assuming by the bombastic celebration taking place that Danica finally showed?

AKB: Haven't seen her...but I can state that this is officially the best wedding reception EVER

Smith: You can't have a reception without an actual wedding!

AKB: Really? Because this feels an awful lot like a reception

Smith: Can you give the mic to one of the girls...we need an update on Danica!

~AKB places the mic in front of one of the bridesmaids~

AKB: Hey...have you seen that girl who never showed up?

Bridesmaid: Dani? Nah...we left her right before it was time to get started. Haven't seen her since. Not like her...I think she really loved that Bob guy...so, I don't know.

AKB: Babe...you're getting a little too serious on me. Have another drink!

~AKB shoves the bottle in her face. She takes a gulp~

Smith: Oh for the love...Alpha...do you have anything else to report?

AKB: Other than the fact that I'm about to get LAID - nope, nadda...fucking zilch!

~We cut away, back to Smith and Hood~

Smith: He's worthless

Hood: No he's not...he's clearly about to get some major work done

Smith: I guess. Danica vanishing…Julliet losing in a blood bath against that freak Crimson. Man, I certainly could use something to lift my spirits after what we just witnessed.

Hood: Another fried twinkie?

Smith: Nope, one is enough for me! I was speaking in terms of philanthropy. The proverbial burying of the hatchet…the dawn of a new friendship – I’m, of course speaking about Hood finally accepting Alice Knight.

Hood: Oh, yea, that

Smith: Don’t tell me you’ve already gone rogue…don’t tell me you are going to deny us the pleasure of seeing two of OCW’s bitterest enemies reconcile…don’t tell me that, Hood!

Hood: Keep your fucking pants on. I’m not reneging on anything. I promised Alice a truce and a truce Alice will get. It’s the only way I can move on with my fucking life and career.

Smith: It’s nice to see you are finally learning how to become the bigger man. Hood is maturing, folks

Hood: I guess…anyway, so I donated like a stupid ton of money to this pet store in Nebraska – not too far from here. I had one condition.

Smith: That the pets are well taken care of?

Hood: Well I mean, yea, aside from that…what the fuck do you think I am? Geezus…why would I donate all that money and NOT make sure the pets were well taken care of?

Smith: Sorry, it just popped into my mind

Hood: Well create a more common sense centric filter. Anyway…my one condition was that Alice Knight be the honorary patron…or whatever it’s called. You know, the smiling idiot who cuts the ribbon.

Smith: Yes, yes, I know.

Hood: So they agreed…Alice was, you know how she is, irrationally excited about all of this. And, well, the ceremony is scheduled to go down…what time is it?

Smith: It’s almost nine in the evening

Hood: Well I’ll be damned. It’s about to go down right now!

Smith: Do we have footage?

Hood: Of course we have footage! There’s no way I’m going to miss this!

Smith: Now you’re becoming irrationally excited…is something else going on here?

Hood: No way, man. I just spent a fuck ton of money on revamping the pet store, providing it with a brand new grand opening…I want to see the end result. You know I hate spending money.

Smith: Your frugality has been well documented.

Hood: I’ll take that as a compliment

Smith: Sooo….it’s not like we have all day…the footage?

Hood: Let’s hit it!

~Our feed cuts to a shaky camera in the backseat of a small, economy sized car. The upholstery, dash and all other factory supplemented items appear to be fresh and new. There’s even something of a ‘new car’ smell hanging in the air. How we would know that I cannot tell you – just go with it. However, all the available space is littered with soda cans, empty bags of chips, wrappers, and all sorts of recognizable ‘living out of your car’ debris. Behind the wheel is none other than Alice Knight! We hear the fans inside the OCW tent go wild. She’s weaving around a straight road for some reason. The man wielding the camera coughs~

Cameraman: Excuse me, Alice, but could you try and keep the car steady…I’m not feeling so great.

Alice Knight: Steady? You mean like Ready, steady, go? Haha, not my best but I think a little humor is good while in Nebraska. Say, do you think they will charge me any fines when I return this car back to Hertz. Was it Hertz? I can’t remember. I know it was in the airport. Come to think of it, did I even rent a car or did I just take this one? Oh heck, who cares…we’ve got a pet shop to open!

~The camera tilts downward as the operator starts to breathe deeply, trying to keep whatever he had for breakfast AND lunch from resurfacing. Once he feels comfortable with returning his eyes to the road, our previous view resumes. Alice continues to weave around the straight road while looking at the surroundings. The area is sparse – very sparse~

Alice Knight: Did you know they actually let me tell them which type of pets to sell in this pet shop? Ants, Owls and let’s not forget cats. Yes, lots and lots of cats. This will be the best pet shop since the one with that giant, singing plant. What was that movie called?

~Alice turns around upon asking the question. The car nearly veers straight into a tree~

Cameraman: For the love of…watch the road!

~Alice turns around and quickly veers back onto the road as though what happened was anything but abnormal~

Alice Knight: Stupid rental cars. You can never trust these things. Transmission is always off, tires are bald. Which makes me wonder, do you think tires get depressed when they start to go bald or is that just a human thing? Oh look!

~Alice points ahead at a small building. It’s got the words “Nebraska Pet Shop” plastered across a very cheap looking sign which hangs over the front door. The ‘business’ resembles an abandoned house more than anything else. Alice hits the gas, hitting a speed of nearly sixty miles an hour~

Cameraman: Uhh, Alice…the shop is right in front of us. You wanna slow down?

~Alice doesn’t listen. Instead she jerks the wheel causing the car to spin out. It performs several donuts before coming to rest in a surprisingly normal location – right out in front of the building. Alice looks back at the cameraman who is dry heaving~

Alice Knight: Yea, this Nebraska air isn’t my cup of tea either but you’ll be alright. Come on, let’s go open this place up!

~Alice steps out of her vehicle. Her feet hit gravel. She takes in her surroundings. There’s the pet shop and literally nothing else. We lose our view of Alice for a moment as the cameraman stumbles out of the backseat. We look toward the darkening sky as he leans against the car for support. A few more dry heaves occur followed by some deep, meditated breaths. He straightens up and points the camera back on Alice~

Cameraman: Strange place for a pet shop

Alice Knight: Some might say that. You might say that. But I think it works. I mean how often do business owners get angry when they see a person walk by their store only to keep on walking, heading to a massage parlor or S&M shop, right? At least here you know for sure the person walking by your shop is in the area to buy pets! It’s genius!

Cameraman: I guess

Alice Knight: Come on, let’s go look inside before everyone gets here. I wanna see some ANTS!

~Alice heads toward the entrance without a hint of fear. The cameraman follows tenuously behind. Every now and again our view shifts right to left as the cameraman seems to anticipate some form of impending doom. Alice reaches the front door and tries the knob. It’s stuck. She jiggles it. She pulls on it. She pushes it. She turns around, facing the camera…she blows a few loose strands of hair away from her face~

Alice Knight: Well we have GOT to get that fixed.

Cameraman: Uhh, Alice…don’t you think that, perhaps we should wait on the others to arrive?

Alice Knight: Nonsense! The early bird gets the roach after all!

Cameraman: I believe it’s the worm

~Alice kicks the front door open. It falls off the hinges and lands with a loud THUD onto the floor. Dust kicks up everywhere. Alice waves her hand around, trying to find some clean air to inhale. Instinctively she reaches for a light switch. With a stroke of luck she’s able to find one! She flips it on…the lights flicker, very lightly. So lightly, in fact that we aren’t able to make anything out~

Alice Knight: Okay we definitely need to sweep this floor. And these lights, I mean I’m used to this type of lighting, don’t get me wrong but it might send other people into seizures, right? That’s what this causes, right…or am I mistaken? But we need to get this fixed, right away. You should probably grab a pen and paper. I’ve got plenty of paper back in the car if you need some, you’ll just have to iron it out a bit.

~Alice continues to step deeper into the dark, dusty building. She stops. Something catches her eye. There are tiny bugs crawling everywhere. Alice scratches her cheek, trying to figure out what they are~

Alice Knight: These ants really need to be in a farm of some kind. Otherwise we’ll get mixed breeding and we can’t have that. We need segregated ant colonies!

~The flickering lights increase in brightness, providing further illumination. Alice bends over, picking up one of the ants. She holds it up to her face, eye level~

Alice Knight: This is a really big ant. He’s kinda slimy too. I don’t think I like him, or her.

~The cameraman zooms in for a better look at what’s in Alice’s hand. The flickering lights begin to stay on longer and brighter. Alice gets a good look at what’s in her hand. She freaks out! She tosses it at the ground. She looks around…the cameraman does as well. The place is INFESTED with roaches~

Alice Knight: This is NOT what I asked for!!

Cameraman: Alice, I think we need to get out of here

Alice Knight: Yea, I think you’re right

~Suddenly, Alice’s face goes dark. It’s consumed by a shadow. The camera pans upward. There is a menacing figure standing behind Alice. We hear the cameraman gulp as he continues to pan up. The expression on Alice’s face changes. The lights are now fully on. She looks upward and starts to turn around. As she does, she is eye level with the heaving chest of a giant. She pokes it with her finger and takes a few steps back. She looks up even further…as does the cameraman…and we get a full, clear view of who is standing in there with Alice~

Alice Knight: Roach.

~It is ROACH! Former member of the family! One of OCW’s most violent competitors from 2014 and, most importantly for this occasion, Alice’s arch nemesis. Alice takes a few steps back. She waves at the cameraman to leave. He holds steady, filming what’s taking place~

Alice Knight: Listen, Roach…about those ants I tossed in your eyes at Black Out 2. It was nothing personal…I was just, you know…I…HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!

~Alice attempts the old ‘hey look over there’ trick which, to my knowledge, might have worked once in real life. Alice tries to turn around but Roach grabs her by the hair! We get a final shot of Alice’s terrified face. Roach hoists her up onto his shoulders. He then spins her around for an F-5 before transitioning into a DDT!! He plants Alice face first into the dirt covered, concrete floor – along with several roaches. Our view is shaking. The camera man trembles with fear. Roach reaches his feet and marches straight in our direction~

Cameraman: No, no, no…please…please, no!!

~The giant hand of Roach consumes the lens. Our view is obfuscated for a few moments while the camera flies through the air. We hear the sounds of the cameraman suffering Alice’s fate. With a strong, visual vibration the camera hits the ground. We see Alice a few feet away. She lays motionless. Roaches are crawling all over her. The feed suddenly cuts out. We are back inside the OCW Tent. The fans are booing loudly~

Smith: …

Hood: What?

Smith: You know what

Hood: What…you think I had something to do with that? She obviously got the address wrong…I mean you saw how she was driving! She’s probably in South Dakota for all we know

Smith: You are a bitter, angry and sad man. I hope you get everything that’s coming your way.

Hood: Well if you’re referring to months and months without Alice Knight on OCW television well, then, I hope you’re right!

Smith: Folks, I am as true a professional as there is in this industry. But even I have my limits. Before I can continue calling tonight’s action next to THIS man…we’ll need to take a break. I need to find strength and composure.

Hood: Yea and I’ll be getting some fresh air while we do so

Smith: We all know you’re getting another funnel cake

Hood: Hey…FUCK YOU

Smith: I can’t look at you right now…if you’ll excuse me.

Hood: Hey well this works out perfectly because your head set is screaming that something is going on outside.

Smith: Outside the tent?

Hood: Of course outside the tent!

~Two OCW cameraman exit out a small slit out from the front entrance of the large circus tent. They circle it to come up on a bloodied, dirty, angry Tommy Crimson!~

Hood: Uh-oh.

Smith: What is he doing?!

Hood: I thought you were leaving!

Smith: Well...I was…but now I’m afraid to leave

~Crimson has a large red gas jug and is dashing gasoline on the side of the tent! Tommy walks methodically around the tent throwing gas on the side with each step he takes. The nylon turns a darker color as the liquid soaks in.~

Smith: He’s gonna burn us out!

Hood: We gotta get out of here!

~Tommy continues as security approaches quickly. They beg Crimson to stop what he’s doing but this frustrates him even further. He drops the can after the last drop splashes against the tent. He pulls out a zippo lighter with his logo on it. The bright lights outside the tent capture this moment then project it inside to a terrified crowd on a large screen.~

Smith: He’s a mad man!

~Who’RE comes around the side of the tent. She sees Crimson and is timid, at first. But she remembers her counseling and summons up the courage and strength she has within. She calls out to The Fury! ~

Who’RE: Why are you doing this, Crimson?!

Crimson: I want respect, bitch. I deserve some gold and more attention. I’m the reigning wrestler of the month and I deserve fucking better!

~Crimson strikes the zippo as a sly grin crosses his face.~

Who’RE: Just don’t do this! We have a show to do here.

Crimson: Yeah, it’s all about the show, right? Long as the show goes on who cares what happens. See I figured that out too, but when this tent goes up in smoke… Then what?

Who’RE: Then you will be fired, Tommy. You know Buffett won’t let this stand.

Crimson: I’d skull fuck Jimmy Buffett to real music, Who’RE. That’s where I’m at.

~Tommy strikes the zippo once more and this time a flame is produced. Tommy holds it out at the tent soaked in gasoline.~

Who’RE: Don’t do this! Please!

~Who’RE continues to beg Tommy to stop as Commissioner Zybala SUPERKICKS the air while rounding the corner. Crimson points at him with an extended index finger of defiance.~

Crimson: You don’t say a fuckin’ word or the rest of the roster will be on massacre in fuckin’ urns. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, The Fury’s run amok.

~Who’RE looks confused by The Fury’s vocabulary, but continues attempting to get Crimson to stop.~

Who’RE: Think about your new baby boy, Tommy! How will you raise him if you are in jail for doing something like this?

Crimson: I don’t even like kids, bitch. I’m just keeping it because Kira said we could get money from the state. I hope it’s retarded honestly. Pays better.

~This shocks everyone within earshot. He then squats down to the tent soaked in the gas while holding the zippo lighter even closer to it.~

Crimson: I want to be champion. I will do anything to achieve that even if I have to take it off The Incredible One’s remains after I set this tent ablaze. Either way, it will be mine.

~Tommy drops the lighter onto the pooled liquid he poured out of the red can. It does not ignite which is a relief to every person watching on.~

Who’RE: What!?

~Crimson walks up to the backstage reporter then looks at her, then at Commish Zybala while pointing at his head with both index fingers.~

Crimson: It was water. It’s all a mindfuck. Next time it won’t be.

~The Fury almost snarls at Zybala as he walks by with an evil glare. The crowd inside the tent all boo Tommy and are thankful to still be alive.~

Hood: Crimson has lost his mind. I mean, he continues to be a thorn in the side of Zybala. I bet he gets fined heavy for this.

Smith: He should be fired on the spot.

Hood: Yeah, right! He draws way too much money.

Smith: Indeed. I don’t get his anger, though…he just won a big match this evening and is set to face Curt Canon in a #1 Contenders Match at our next big event

Hood: Dude knows the history of this place. We’ll probably be on hiatus by the time that promise is fulfilled! I don’t blame him…he wants a shot now! I say give it to the man

Smith: There is a thing called protocol, Hood. It’s set in place to prevent chaos. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you

Hood: The only proto word I’m familiar with is protoplasm. And, don’t ask me why because I couldn’t tell you

Smith: You’re such an inspiration for the youth.

Hood: I do what I can with what I have

Smith: Tremendous. Well, in spite of the anger Hood’s trick created within my being…I’ve been able to move past it in the name of professionalism. And, while I was busy conquering my demons…my questionable colleague wasn’t so lucky…it appears his demon is impervious.

~Smith stares into the screen. The view pulls back and we see Hood seated next to him finishing off his third funnel cake. Hood licks his fingers, grabs the paper plate and flips it over his shoulder~

Hood: So fucking good…I don’t even care anymore. I’ll eat salads for two weeks straight.

Smith: Well at least you’ve come to grips with your lack of resolve. Anyway…folks, we’re about to witness history. The first ever Craze Champion is set to be crowned and that match…

WHEN IT’S TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD!

~The crowd rises to their feet as OCW Commissioner Mike Zybala superkicks his way through the tent flaps!! The crowd goes wild. “SUPERKICK PARTY” becomes the tent wide chant of the moment. Once composed, Zybala hustles down to the ring high fiving fans. He’s sporting a backpack – probably a JanSport. It’s black. The seams are…ah who gives a shit…it’s a backpack! Zybala slides into the ring and pops to his feet. He looks over at Belvedere and fakes him out with a pretend Superkick. Belvedere flinches in an effort to block the fake superkick. Zybala laughs and pats him on the back. Belvedere grumbles under his breath for a moment before returning to his professional demeanor and speaking into the mic~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…please welcome at this time…OCW Commissioner Mike Zybala!!!

~Belvedere hands Zybala his mic. He stands back in a corner, out of sight. Zybala lifts the mic to his lips and speaks~

Mike Zybala: What a great night so far, right? We’ve had cages, ladders and light tubes…we’ve even seen a giant cockroach! Truly a great first ppv as your commissioner…but, it’s about to get even better. Now, I know what you’re asking yourself…does that guy walk around with a backpack all the time? The answer is – maybe. But, as for tonight, the backpack holds something of great importance.

~Like a true backpack expert, Zybala whips the backpack around where he’s able to easily unzip it and remove what’s inside. He yanks out the brand new Craze Championship!! Zybala takes the suddenly empty backpack and tosses it to Belvedere who, begrudgingly catches the thing. Zybala holds the Craze Championship up with his right hand while wielding the mic with his left~

Mike Zybala: That’s right…the OCW Craze Championship!! Tonight we will crown the company’s first ever Craze Champion as The Purple VIP Josie Barnes takes on The Rocket Man Ed Houston in a Bloody TLC match!

~The crowd goes wild. Zybala looks up and motions for something to be lowered. We see a thick cable with a latch at the end of it. Zybala hooks the Craze Championship and gives a thumb up. The belt is then raised into the appropriate position. Zybala twirls the mic around in his hand, looking around. He shrugs and speaks~

Mike Zybala: And, well, I guess that’s it for now! Enjoy the rest of the action!

~Zybala’s music hits. He tosses the mic back at Belvedere and hops over the top rope to the dirt floor. He exits the tent, high fiving fans on his way out. Once gone, his music ends and the spotlight focuses on Belvedere~

Picture
OCW Craze Championship
Bloody TLC Match
“The Purple VIP” Josie Barnes vs. “The Rocket Man” Ed Houston

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time to crown the first ever OCW Craze Champion!! This match will be a Bloody TLC match. The rules are simple…the Craze Championship hangs above the ring. In order to claim it you must cause your opponent to bleed. Only then can you climb a ladder and retrieve the belt. The first person to retrieve the belt will be named the inaugural OCW Craze Champion!!

~The crowd roars with approval. A ‘CRAZE’ chant fills the tent. Belvedere allows the chants to subside before continuing~

Belvedere: Introducing first!

~”Rocket Man” by Elton John hits…the crowd rises and turns toward the tent flap. We cut outside where the crowd meandering around the circus grounds pause upon hearing the iconic tune. A ‘HOUSTON’ chant fills the Nebraska air. We cut back inside the tent~

Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs...The Rocket Man…Ed Houston!!!

~As soon as Belvedere says ‘The Rocket Man’ Ed Houston charges through the tent flap…some might say like a rocket! He sprints for the ring and slides in under the bottom rope and performs a flip over his head, landing on his feet. The interior of the tent chants “ED! ED!” Ed stands in the middle of the ring breathing heavily with adrenaline running through his veins. He looks up at the title and smiles~

Smith: He looks to be in the best shape of his career, Hood

Hood: You think he’s on the roids?

Smith: I didn’t say that!

Hood: You can never be too sure. I mean we all know Josie’s shooting roids up the ass so Ed has to do the same to keep up

Smith: The Purple VIP is NOT on roids. Why would you say that?

Hood: Have you spent time around her? She’s got classic roid rage, Smith

Smith: Yea, right…please excuse colleague’s baseless accusation. Houston looks to be in very great, CLEAN shape and, I think, he has a great chance at winning his first title in OCW tonight.

Hood: He’s got a fifty percent chance, for sure

Belvedere: And his opponent…

~"Shadow Boxing" by Parkway Drive hits. The crowd starts to nod along to the opening chords. The entire tent turns PURPLE. “VIP! VIP!” consumes the tent. The purple, at once light, darkens. We get a shot of Ed inside the ring. He looks around, taking in the aura. He cocks a half smile. The crowd reacts to something. We cut to the tent flaps. A bunch of light purple sparks rain down from the ceiling. A light purple spotlight hits the entry. A figure emerges, pausing amidst the purple rain and spotlight~

Belvedere: From Lily, Georgia…standing 5’2 and weighing in at 118lbs…she is the Purple VIP…she is…Josie Barnes!!!

~The purple rain comes to a close. We get our first clear shot of The Purple VIP herself, Josie Barnes! She’s wearing a vibrant Purple robe that shines and shimmers in the spotlight. She holds her arms out and rotates once so everyone can get a good view of her special attire. It reads ‘PURPLE VIP’ on the back in glittery lettering~

Smith: She looks amazing tonight!

Hood: She’s lucky that fucking thing didn’t catch on fire

Smith: I’m sure it was made without using flammable material, Hood. She’s not stupid

~Barnes takes a moment in to soak up the attention. She marches toward the ring with the light purple spotlight following her. She steps into the pit and heads for the stairs. She climbs, walks along the apron and steps through the ropes. She hits the middle of the ring. We see Ed bouncing around in the background, eager to begin. She extends both arms once more before the spotlight cuts off and the normal lighting returns. A ‘PURPLE VIP’ chant echoes throughout the tent. Josie looks over her shoulder at Ed. She backs into her corner and begins to remove her robe~

Smith: Oh Hood I am so excited for this one. Both of these wrestlers are long overdue for their first title within OCW

Hood: I just wanna see some blood

Smith: Why do you always have to ruin things? Why can’t you just say “Yea, Smith, this should be a great match with two tremendous, hard working athletes!”

Hood: Because I’d feel fucking stupid if I said all of that shit

~Josie’s music ends. She hands her opulent robe over the top rope to an OCW official who is very careful to ensure it does not touch the dirt surface. He rushes out of the tent to return the robe to Josie’s trailer. Belvedere exits the ring. Scruff calls for the bell…it rings! The crowd cheers! Ed and Josie approach one another and meet in the center of the ring. Ed extends his hand. Josie looks down at his hand. She responds by slapping the spit right out of Ed’s mouth!! The crowd boos this~

Smith: Hmm, Josie not exactly eager for a display of sportsmanship

Hood: That’s because she’s a woman, Smith. If it were sportswomanship, she may have accepted his hand

Smith: I’m sensing a new attitude from Josie. She seems far feistier in 2018

Hood: It’s like she’s got 24/7 PMS

~Ed’s head is tilted to the right due to the impact of Josie’s slap. Ed smiles and returns his head to the front facing position. He smiles, shrugs and hops around. The crowd applauds his attitude in the face of insolence. Josie crouches down in an amateur position and tries to snare one of Ed’s arms. Ed hops around, avoiding all of her grapple attempts. Josie lunges at Ed…he hops out of the way and kicks her in the ass! She tumbles into a corner, harmlessly. The only item bruised would be her ego. She scrambles to a seated position, glaring at Ed. Houston extends his arms and offers another shrug. Josie’s jaw tightens with mounting anger~

Smith: The Purple VIP is not going to like that

Hood: You ever think this Purple VIP shit is maybe getting to her head?

Smith: No, why?

Hood: What is she the VIP of, anyway? The color PURPLE? Like, how the fuck can anyone be the VIP of the color purple?

Smith: It’s a nickname…you’re thinking too much

~Overcome with inexplicable rage Josie rushes head first at Ed! Ed catches her in a headlock! He looks out to the crowd, they cheer. He smiles and slaps her on the ass a couple of times. The crowd laughs. Josie suddenly drops to one knee and drills Ed in the crotch with a low blow!!! The crowd boos. Houston doubles over and falls to the mat…Josie gets on top of him and pummels away with rights and lefts~

Smith: Well that was unfortunate

Hood: Do you think she confused what Ed was doing as foreplay and took things a little too far?

Smith: No, I think Ed offended her and she lashed out

Hood: I hope so…I’d hate to think Lukas is into all that S&M shit

~Josie finally relents. Scruff looks in to see if Ed is bleeding. He is….NOT. Josie springs to her feet and stomps on Ed. Her foot nears his face…she lifts it up extra high and brings it crashing down. Houston rolls out of the way, under the bottom rope and drops with a thud onto the dirt surface. Josie rushes toward the ropes and looks down over the top rope at Ed who is on his knees, bent over, rubbing his face~

Smith: Smart move by Ed…you know people think about making a wrestler bleed and they conjure up images of steel chairs, barbed wire…but a well-placed fist or kick could just as easily get the job done.

Hood: Yea but, I mean, c’mon…like THAT’s how someone is going to get busted open in OCW

Smith: I’m just saying, it could happen

Hood: Maybe at the Squires Academy but not here…not fucking here!

~Ed stands with his back to the ring. He checks his hand and sees there’s no blood. Josie has her hands wrapped around the top rope. She leaps into the air and flips over the top rope…as she is descending she grabs Ed’s head and drops him with a STUNNER!! The crowd pops for the impressive maneuver!! Ed’s head snaps back, the back of his smacks against the edge of the apron!! He rolls around in the dirt, holding the back of his head. Josie returns to her feet, standing over Houston with a look of disdain~

Smith: Wow! What a move! I don’t think we’ve seen that type of athleticism from Josie Barnes

Hood: Fuck my life…if she wins this belt…is she gonna turn it purple?

Smith: She may

Hood: Ugh, purple was SO 2014

~Josie bends over to grab Ed by the hair. She winces and stiffens upright. She reaches back, grabbing at her hip. It appears to be banged up from the impact of the move she just initiated. She stomps her foot into the ground, trying to force the pain away. She fights through it and bends back over, wincingly, to grab Ed by the hair. She drags Ed over to the steps and pulls back on his hair…she dives his head, face first into the steps…but ED catches the edge of the top step with both hands, preventing a sure fire cut. Josie takes her other hand and uses it to press down on the back of Ed’s head. In doing so, it activates the area of her body that is in pain. She winces and gives way, letting go of Houston. She stumbles away from Ed, limping slightly~

Smith: Oh no, this is not good. She might have suffered a serious injury, Hood

Hood: Weak ass female skeletal structure

Smith: Oh please…did you see the fall she took?

Hood: Ohhhhkay, fine…weak ass female decision making

~Houston sits up with his back against the steps. He sees Josie limping around. He rubs the back of his head and reaches for the ring apron cloth. He pulls himself standing. He marches toward Barnes, stalking her from behind. He hooks her in a Full Nelson!! Barnes throws some back elbows, rattling Ed’s jaw. Ed’s grip loosens…it breaks. He stumbles backward. Josie flips backward and drills Ed in the face with a Pele Kick!! Ed goes limp and falls into the dirt. Josie hits hard as well and reaches for the weakened area around her hip. She backslides against the nearest set of ring steps and starts to massage the pain~

Smith: C’mon, Josie! Stay grounded

Hood: Great advice considering this is a LADDER match

Smith: Well, you know what I mean

Hood: Yea, I do…but you’re talking about a woman. You have to speak slow and clear for them to understand. You must also be extremely literal.

~Josie crawls to the bottom of the steps and uses each ascending step as an aid to return to her feet. She’s in complete discomfort. She gets to her feet and hobbles toward Ed. Houston is on one knee, with his back to Barnes. She reaches Ed and claws at his face. Houston waves his arms around and manages to get Josie a ‘stunner’ position. He manipulates Josie around and gets to where he’s facing the ring. He kicks his feet up on the apron and flips over dropping Josie onto the dirt with a DESTINO!!! The crowd goes wild!! Josie appears to be out! Houston kips up and begins to feed off the fans~

Smith: Wow…Destino! That’s one heck of a move…probably the first time we’ve ever seen it in OCW

Hood: Destine WHAT? Speak English

Smith: No, you should expand your professional wrestling purview

Hood: Sorry…it’s OCW for life, bitch

~Houston bounces around, happily. Perhaps taking TOO much time. He heads over toward the ring apron and looks underneath. He unearths…a ladder!! The crazy OCW crowd goes wild!! He slides the ladder into the ring and points up at the Craze Championship~

Smith: ED!

Hood: The fuck is this guy doing?!

Smith: I think he’s so caught up in the emotion that he’s forgotten the rules

Hood: No wonder this guy flunked out of NASA

~Ed sets the ladder up and steps upon the first rung. Scruff runs over and grabs him by the leg. Ed looks down as if to ask “hey man, you got something against astronauts?” Scruff tries to explain the rules to Ed. Houston argues with Scruff while climbing the ladder. Meanwhile, we see Josie’s head pop up over the ring apron. Gingerly she rolls into the ring. Ed is unaware due to his squabbling with Scruff. Josie crawls toward the base of the ladder, opposite Ed’s side. Ed looks down, curious at first. Josie starts to lift up on the bottom rung. Ed, from near the top of the ladder, begins to freak. He waves his arms telling Josie to stop. The Purple VIP, breathing heavily, musters all the energy she has to thrust upward with her legs. She yells out in pain while doing so. The ladder falls backward and tips over!! Houston falls off the ladder, all the way outside the ring, landing roughly in the dirt!! The crowd goes wild with a ‘HOLY SHIT’ chant! Ed rolls around, grasping at his left ankle. Josie curls up, holding her injured hip~

Smith: I just don’t know, Hood. We might have to call this.

Hood: Fucking match should have been called a week ago…we all knew she didn’t stand a chance

Smith: Whatever! She suffered an unfortunate injury early on while performing an incredibly athletic maneuver. It’s this dirt ground. WHY ARE WE ALWAYS ON DIRT GROUND

Hood: Because we hold events in shit holes like Louisiana and Nebraska

~Josie manages to sit up. She reaches forward, grabbing the bottom of the ladder and pulling it back to a standing position near the center of the ring. She uses the rungs to get back to her feet. Carefully, she walks to the side of the ladder and closes it up. She lifts the ladder and drops it over the top rope. Slowly, she drops to her knees and rolls out, under the bottom rope. She winces, bending over and grabbing the ladder. She hoists the ladder over her shoulder and waits for Ed to get to his feet. Houston is crawling away from Josie, near ringside. He gets to his feet near the steps and turns around, facing Barnes. Josie charges in with the ladder, attempting to squash Ed’s head in between the top of the ladder and the steel post. Ed’s eyes widen and he ducks!! The top of the ladder SLAMS into the unyielding steel of the post! Josie drops the ladder and staggers back, stunned from the metal on metal shock~

Smith: Ouch…that had to feel painfully weird

Hood: She tried to KILL Ed!

Smith: I think that’s a little dramatic. She’s just trying to draw blood so she can ascend the ladder and get the title. She’s in pretty bad shape, Hood. The sooner she can end this the better

Hood: Oh, well that makes it okay then. Hey, can The Knife Man loan her a giant knife, perhaps? She’s hurt…who gives a fuck about Ed, right? Anybody got a machete?

Smith: Stop

~Ed grabs the ladder. He throws it at Josie! Josie catches it as, well anyone would. Ed throws a superkick at the ladder! Josie ducks! She rises up and spins around with the ladder delivering for the first time in wrestling history a ROARING LADDER!! She slings the ladder at Ed’s head. Houston, though, catches it!! He rips the ladder from Josie’s hands and tosses it aside. He charges for Josie with what appears to be a spear…instead of taking her to the ground, he bullies her all the way backward into the side of the steps!! Josie’s back hits hard!! Houston stands upright and staggers around making it obvious his head took part of the blow as well~

Smith: Houston is obviously a bit over anxious tonight

Hood: Yea, well at least he’s got two good legs

Smith: RUDE

Hood: I’m just calling it the way I see it

~Ed clears the proverbial cobwebs. He drops to a knee and looks around underneath the ring for something…probably sharp. Josie works her way back to her feet by using the steps as support. She hobbles over toward Ed and jumps on his back like an angry, anthropomorphic backpack!!! Houston stands up, bewildered. Josie locks in a sleeper!! Ed reaches for the ring ropes, but Scruff shrugs~

Smith: That won’t work, Ed

Hood: Do we need to sit this guy down and re-read the wrestling rules to him? Fucking hell

Smith: He’s just caught in the moment, Hood. A few more marquee matches and he’ll find his championship composure

~Houston starts to lose feeling in his legs. He’s shutting down…the oxygen deprived to his brain is taking its toll. He stumbles near the ring steps. He falls forward! In doing so, he tucks his head which leaves Josie’s head exposed…she slams FACE FIRST into the top of the steps!! The crowd goes “OOOHHHH”! Josie rolls around, covering her face. Scruff slides out of the ring to check for blood. Houston remains on his back, staring up at the top of the red and beige tent. His right hand grips a handful of dirt while his lungs work to replace the oxygen lost~

Smith: OUCH!

Hood: Did he do that on purpose? He didn’t do that on purpose, did he?

Smith: Does it matter, it worked…an now Josie might be busted open!

Hood: Man if that bitch is busted open AND has a fucked up hip, leg whatever…it’s lights out for the Purple VIP

Smith: A steep hill to climb for sure

~Scruff tries to pry Josie’s hand away from her face. She resists. He urges her to do so. Our camera shifts to Ed who is sitting up. Scruff suddenly signals that Josie is bleeding! The crowd goes wild. Why? Because – blood. Ed turns, seeing the notification~

Smith: That’s it! Ed can now retrieve the belt!

Hood: Assuming the fucking idiot even knows what the hell Scruff is signaling

Smith: I’m sure he does. At least, I hope so anyway

Hood: I’m just thankful the guy was smart enough to put his pants on before heading out here.

~Houston looks over and spots the ladder from earlier…which indicates he DOES understand the situation. He gets to his feet. Our view switches to Josie. She shoves Scruff away and finally removes her hand. Her nose is busted pretty badly. There’s thick, bright red blood from the bottom of her nose down to the end of her chin. She tries wiping her hand off in the dirt but discovers all that does is create some gross form of mud in her hand. She rolls her eyes and gingerly stands, still finding much discomfort in her lower half. She rubs the blood off on her purple pants and spots Ed retrieving the ladder. Josie hobbles that way. Houston drops the ladder and waves Josie toward him. Barnes pauses, realizing this is weird. She hesitates and moves closer, slowly. Houston suddenly throws and handful of dirt at her! Josie ducks! The dirt flies harmlessly into the air and ground. Houston snaps his fingers in disappointment. Barnes’ body shakes with the fury of a woman mocked…twice! She charges in, running with a severe limp. She spears Ed into the edge of the apron!! The middle of his back spikes against it! Josie, unlike Ed, managed to come away unharmed…her head wound up safely within the cloth that hangs from the apron. She steps back and watches Ed crumble to the dirt~

Smith: Unfortunately for Ed…I think he was a bit too obvious with that dirt trick

Hood: Why even go for it when you have the ladder…geezus

Smith: He had an idea, it didn’t work…move on

Hood: Did he think the dirt was like little spikes…which THAT wouldn’t even make sense, she’s already bleeding!

~Remembering his tumble from earlier, Josie carefully gets to one knee, before dropping to the other. She grabs at Ed’s right ankle. He looks up at her, confused. She drops it and snares the left…Ed starts to writhe in pain!! Josie smiles, realizing she’s got the right one…she applies an Ankle Lock!!! Ed taps furiously into the dirt, kicking up somewhat of a storm. Scruff sits on the steps watching like a fan. I mean, the guy can’t do anything. Once Houston realizes he can’t submit, he desperately looks around for something…he starts to crawl toward the apron~

Smith: Where is he going?!

Hood: Maybe he saw some Slim Jims down there…man those are so fucking good…have you ever had the Cracked Pepper Slim Jim?

Smith: No…I don’t eat FAKE meat

Hood: Yea well you can fuck off

~Houston keeps crawling under the ring. Josie tries pulling him back but the combination of his size advantage and her injured lower half prevent her from doing much. She finally reaches the point where her shoulders are up against the ring apron…she has to choose. Does she hold onto the ankle lock and go UNDER the ring with Ed or does she leg go? She’s about halfway under when she decides to let go!! Houston’s entire lower half vanishes under the ring. Josie remains seated at the edge of the apron. Her hand feels around…it finds something sturdy, something metal~

Smith: Smart decision

Hood: You think Houston was looking for seven minutes in heaven…OCW STYLE?

Smith: With her face all bloody like that? No

Hood: I don’t know, some people are into that shit…like Morbidus

Smith: Yea well he was a very special case

~Josie reveals a steel chair! She drags her body away from the apron and near the steel steps to her right. On the other side of the steps we see Ed crawling out from underneath the ring. He reaches for his left ankle and rotates it around…Josie peeks up over the apron and spots Ed. She ducks back down. She painfully gets to her feet but bends at her knees, hiding behind the stairs with the steel chair in her hands. Houston looks around, wondering where Josie’s at~

Smith: She’s laying a trap for Ed to walk right into

Hood: Typical woman

Smith: If she connects with that chair there is no doubt Ed will be busted open

Hood: There’s some doubt

Smith: Okay but not much!

~Houston gets to his feet. It’s an abnormal, somewhat eerie feeling – being in the middle of a match, sitting all alone with nothing going on. He heads toward the steps opposite Josie…he then stops and turns around. The crowd groans, knowing what’s next. He steps upon the bottom step and hops down. Josie SPRINGS into action…she slings the chair at Ed. Houston manages to get his hands up, blocking most of the steel from hitting his face. Josie drives the chair into his gut! He doubles over! She proceeds to pound away on his back with the chair…over and over and over…he falls to one knee, then both until, finally, he’s face down in the dirt with Josie wailing away. She swings and swings until she can swing no more! She drops the chair and falls to her knees, grasping at her injured hip. She looks over at Ed and, to her dismay, sees nothing but unbroken skin~

Smith: Okay, so there was some doubt

Hood: Admit it…you were WRONG

Smith: I mean, technically I wasn’t…he did get his hands up

Hood: You’re such a bitch

~Barnes struggles to her feet and limps toward the ring. Gingerly she bends over and looks under the ring…she removes a table! The crowd goes wild because, ya know – TABLES. She painfully drags the thing near Ed. Scruff watches on with concern. His posture indicates he wants to jump in and help her. But being the quasi professional that he is, he stands back. Through much pain, and arduous movement, Josie is able to get the chair set up in the dirt a few feet from the ring. She leans over the table palms up, breathing heavily. Her wind affected by her injury~

Smith: I don’t think that table is such a good idea

Hood: Maybe she plans on driving Ed through it…taking a piece of wood and using it as a stake to cut him open!

Smith: What? Why would you think that?

Hood: I’m sorry, still thinking about vampires and Morbidus

~Josie gathers her wind and grabs Ed by the hair on the back of his head. She tries lifting him up to his feet. She’s successful! Houston wobbles, almost out on his feet. Josie, like leading a drunk person to bed, is able to work him onto the table. He rolls over onto his back with his arms hanging over both edges of the table. Josie grabs the chair and limps to the steps. Slowly, she climbs the steps and limps across the apron. She stops and turns toward the table~

Smith: Don’t do it, Josie! You might cripple yourself!

Hood: What…are you saying crippled people can’t compete?

Smith: That’s not what I’m saying

Hood: Are you saying life as a crippled person isn’t worth living? So what if she becomes crippled…why is that so bad, huh? WHY?

Smith: I’m just going to stop talking

~Josie slaps her injured hip. She grits her teeth and does a few breathing exercises. She lifts the chair up, over her head and leaps off the apron!! She isn’t aiming to land on top of Houston…instead she’s aiming for a chair shot right into Houston’s head! She comes down but Ed rolls out of the way!! The chair SLAPS into the table top but doesn’t do much damage! Josie lets go of the chair the minute it hits the table and instantly grabs at her hip. Ed is on all fours around at the opposite side of the table, in the dirt. The chair remains atop the table~

Smith: Ugh…another crash and burn for poor Josie. This just isn’t her night

Hood: Yea well, she’s a gimp, what do you expect

Smith: WHAT? And you gave me all that grief a moment ago

Hood: Do as I say, Smith. Do as I say

~Houston stumbles to his feet. He stretches out, loosening the pummeled muscles in his back. While doing so…he spots the chair. He snares the chair and slides over the table top. His feet land next to Josie. Barnes looks up at him with near hatred in her eyes. She can see her title opportunity slipping away. Ed raises the chair over his head, readying to deliver a major blow to her already injured hip. He pauses…he stops~

Smith: The man has a heart…that’s something you don’t see around here often

Hood: Oh come on! Do you want to be a champion or don’t you?

Smith: He can be a champion without ruining her career!

Hood: Sure, but why make it so tough on yourself?

~Josie gets to one knee. Ed, holding the chair, watches…it’s obvious by the look on his face that he feels bad. Josie’s eyes are full of tears. She’s in serious pain and possibly worried about her future. Ed nods and extends a hand to help Josie to her feet. She accepts…and…the second she gets to her feet, she jumps into the air and hits Houston with the Barnes Experience crushing the chair into his face!!! The crowd BOOOS! Barnes curls back up into the dirt, holding onto her injured hip. Ed is on his back, out. We see a small gash in his forehead with blood starting to flow. Scruff looks down and signals that Ed’s been busted open~

Smith: A bit tricky but smart

Hood: That lying bitch!

Smith: She’s doing what she has to in order to win, Hood

Hood: Fucking Ed had better learn his lesson.

Smith: And what lesson would that be?

Hood: Never trust a woman…especially one in purple

~Josie’s pain riddled face looks toward the ring. She glances at Ed to see a stream of blood flowing down the side of his head, creating a thick, dark red puddle. Josie starts to crawl through the dirt, toward the ring. Her hands digging into the ground, alleviating as much pressure as she can from her lower half. She reaches the ladder from before, laying innocuously near the apron. She sits up, wincing. She grabs the ladder by the top and sets it up against the apron. Methodically she is able to take each rung and push the ladder up higher and higher until finally thrusting it upward with enough force to send it teetering over the top rope and into the ring. Once finished, her head lowers and she takes in a deep breath~

Smith: Every movement…no matter how miniscule is taking a tremendous toll on the Purple VIP

Hood: That or she’s just being way too fucking dramatic

Smith: She’s injured, Hood!

Hood: Let’s just say – I have my doubts

~Barnes scans the battered body of Ed Houston. He’s in the same place he was when she began her painful crawl. Mustering all she has from within, Josie gets to her knees and rolls inside the ring from underneath the bottom rope. The crowd starts to cheer her on, recognizing the pain she’s fighting through. Josie gets to her feet and limps severely toward the ladder. She slowly bends over and picks the ladder up, setting it directly underneath the Craze Championship. Once set up, she looks toward the title with hope in her eyes~

Smith: C’mon, Josie! What a win this would be…fighting through all that pain and anguish…the fight of a champion, Hood!

Hood: Oh for the love…can we get on with it? Quit drawing it out you damn drama queen!

Smith: You are heartless

Hood: If that’s true…are you calling me some type of android. Am I a machine?

Smith: The only living, breathing machine I ever knew was ACE

~Barnes steps up on the first rung. She winces. She brings her second foot onto the first rung and rests. She slowly repeats the process for the second rung. Ed, meanwhile, begins to stir. The HOUSTON fans in the crowd urge him on, trying to get him to look toward the ring. He leans over onto his side, facing the ring and spots Josie reaching the third rung. At first it appears he doesn’t understand what he’s looking at until his eyes widen. “OH SHIT” he utters, stumbling to his feet. He walks sideways, woozy from the head trauma. But he manages to straighten out and reach the ring. Josie is over halfway up the ladder. Houston looks under the ring and removes an identical ladder in size. He slides it into the ring under the bottom rope and rolls in behind it~

Smith: He’d better hurry…another rung or two and Josie will be able to reach that belt

Hood: You watch…little miss too injured to move is suddenly going to fly up that ladder like fucking Spiderman

Smith: You’re going to feel really bad when you find out she’s legitimately injured…wait and see

Hood: Uhhh…no I won’t

~Houston promptly sets up his ladder and starts to climb. He winces, holding his left foot out, looking down at his aching left ankle. He rotates it around and sucks it up, continuing to climb. Josie reaches nearly the last rung. She reaches up and her fingers graze against the gold. The fans rise and fall with each near miss. Ed finally becomes parallel to Josie, rung wise and he slaps her arm down, away from the belt. Josie clutches onto the top of the ladder to keep from falling. Houston reaches over…his longer arms enable his fingers to graze against the gold but, with Josie’s ladder directly underneath the belt, that makes Ed’s task far more difficult~

Smith: Well…there they both are…at the top of the ladder, fighting for the title. I predict this will end badly for one of them

Hood: And if that one is Ed then it ends badly for ALL OF US

Smith: Listen, if Josie Barnes claims that belt she’s truly earned it. Lay off her

Hood: Whoa, hey…don’t go calling me the Uber Man or anything. I’m simply calling a match here

~Josie turns around, facing the outside of the ring. She throws and elbow into the exposed ribcage of Houston…exposed while he was reaching for the belt. Ed’s arm shoots back down in protection of his ribs. Josie reaches out and snares Ed by the throat with her left hand. Houston starts to choke! The crowd is going wild…his legs seem to weaken along the rung they are standing on for support. Houston reaches over with his right hand and he chops at the middle of Josie’s arm…Barnes releases her choke. Ed then hooks her with his left arm…his back to the side of the ring with the table on the outside…Josie, meanwhile is facing in that direction. The crowd rises, sensing something~

Smith: Oh no…no…no

Hood: DO IT ED! I don’t know what the fuck you’re gonna do…but DO IT

~Houston bends his knees and then ROCKETS off the ladder, holding onto Josie flipping backwards with a SPANISH FLY!! In unison Ed and Josie flip over…Ed flipping in the moonsault direction with Josie flipping in the Senton/Swanton direction. Houston’s arm is still hooking around Josie. It’s poetry in motion for a moment until they come crashing down THROUGH the table on the outside!!! A huge dirt cloud kicks up, masking the carnage. The crowd leaps to their feet. “FUCK YES! FUCK YES! FUCK YES!” Scruff backs away from the cloud of smoke, waving his hand around, trying to get a good view of the aftermath~

Smith: They’re both dead!

Hood: No, no…I think Ed may be okay. I hope so, at least…I think Josie’s massive ego broke his fall!

Smith: Now is not the time for jokes, Hood

~The smoke starts to clear. Scruff leans in to find Ed lying on top of Josie. Scruff rubs his chin…it’s somewhat of a scandalous looking position. Both wrestlers are out~

Smith: Lukas Emery may not like this bit of imagery

Hood: Go Ed Go!!

Smith: Please…this is hardly the time

~Slowly, JOSIE begins to stir first. She notices Ed on top of her and FLIPS out. She curses at him and throws him off. Ed rolls over, moaning. Josie sits up. She’s dirty and bloody. She looks toward the ring and then at Ed. Her time is now! She gets up…but falls back down. Her leg is still all kinds of fucked up. She crawls toward the ring, dragging her dead leg behind~

Smith: That poor woman is in such pain. I just hope she’s not doing any permanent damage by continuing to compete

Hood: Man she rejected the SHIT out of Ed. I mean I know Ed is no NASA man but he’s not exactly chopped liver

Smith: She’s in love with Lukas, Hood

Hood: Oh yea…the fuck did she call him…Mister Protector or whatever…geezus, kill me now

~Josie reaches the ring. She crawls up the steps and onto the apron. She rolls in under the bottom rope and reaches the ladder. She closes her eyes and takes in a few deep breaths, realizing she’s got to stand and use her legs. She struggles to her feet…the fans are behind her. She stands!! They give her a strong ovation. She starts to climb. Ed starts to come to, meanwhile. He looks around, covered in the same blood/dirt amalgamation as Josie. He sees Josie climbing toward the Craze Title with Scruff watching from inside the ring…he has a ‘what the fuck’ look on his face~

Smith: I think that’s the last Spanish Fly we’ll see Ed Houston perform

Hood: No shit…what kind of bullshit move allows the victim to get up first?

Smith: It’s a very illogical move when you think about it

Hood: Ed should have won this match long ago…stupid Spanish Fly

~Houston stumbles to his feet. He tests out his injured ankle…it hurts but it’s not going to hinder The Rocket Man! He hurries to the ring. Josie is on the middle rung, struggling. Ed slides into the ring and gets to his feet…he reaches up, grabbing Josie by the injured leg!! She turns around, looking down on Ed. He has her injured leg/hip hooked. Josie pleads with him for mercy. Ed looks out into the crowd…they are mixed~

Smith: What does he do? He wants to win but…at the same time…Josie appears to be seriously injured

Hood: Hey…he showed her mercy once before and it bit him in the ass…I say RIP IT OFF

~Houston says ‘fuck it!’ He spins to the ground, ripping Josie off the ladder and twisting her leg with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!!! Josie lets out a blood curdling scream!! The crowd is unsure how to react. Houston gets to his feet…he looks down at Josie who is curled up in the corner, holding her leg in pain. Ed looks out at the crowd and he just shrugs. Some fans go wild…other fans boo. Ed starts to climb the ladder~

Smith: Not sure how I feel about this

Hood: FUCK YES! YOU THE MAN, ED!

~Houston scales the ladder…he reaches the top…he grabs the Craze Championship and unhooks it, claiming it as his own!! The crowd pops! The bell rings!!~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW CRAZE CHAMPION…ED HOUSTON!!!!!

Smith: Ed did it! He’s the new champion…although I have to say…I’m still concerned with Josie

Hood: Now might be a good time for her to get knocked up. Take about nine months off, ya know

Smith: NO…I do not KNOW

~Houston climbs down and hops off the ladder. He poses with the title for a moment…the crowd chants his name. He basks in the moment before exiting the ring and taking a look at Josie. She’s surrounded by OCW personnel. The crowd suddenly pops. Ed turns around and sees LUKAS EMERY along with his sister Amelia! They hurry down to the ring. Amelia shoves her way through the OCW employees to get to Josie. Lukas grabs Ed and shoves him against the ring apron. The fans are chanting “FIGHT! FIGHT!”~

Smith: Uh oh…what…what’s going on here?!

Hood: Is he going to cash in on Ed?

Smith: I’m not sure…he certainly isn’t happy with the way Ed treated his girlfriend

Hood: Hey, this is pro wrestling…what did he expect?

~Lukas looks down at Ed’s belt. Ed…dirty and exhausted, doesn’t back down. We suddenly hear Josie asking for Lukas. This breaks Emery’s focus. He gives Ed one last shove and heads over to check on Barnes. Houston lingers for a moment before Scruff tells him he should leave. Houston agrees...he holds the belt up one last time…the crowd gives him a strong ovation. He exits the tent~

Smith: Ironically Ed was most likely SAVED by Josie

Hood: Lukas has bigger fish to fry, Smith. We all know he’s cashing in later tonight

Smith: Marcus Welsh has already said…

Hood: Yea yea, I know what he said. But you’re not factoring in a key element…we have a lunatic as commissioner. Mike Zybala is going to…well…be Mike Zybala

Smith: Well that remains to be seen

~Someone yells ‘SHOULD WE GET THE KNIFE MAN?’ Josie refuses. She sits up on the apron. Lukas picks her up and he carries her out of the pit with Amelia walking by his side. They exit the tent as the fans let out a “JOSIE” chant in support of the injured fighter~

Smith: Well, let’s hope she’s okay. Let’s hope it’s just a deep hip bruise...or something less serious than it appears to be

Hood: Yea, keep hoping

Smith: In any event…Ed Houston has made history here tonight…the first ever OCW Craze Champion AND his first championship victory in OCW!

Hood: Fucking guy is on the rise!

Smith: Indeed! Well, let's cut to a promo featuring a brand new talent just signed last week. I'm told management is very excited about - Melinda Rhodes!


Picture


It began simple enough, a silhouetted figure of a dark haired woman looking out over a cloudy ocean sunset. Not much could be told as "Hurt" played it's soft, pained melody as the haunting voice of Johnny Cash in his final days was heard. It transitions to a shot of a heavily tattooed, dark haired woman with a microphone in hand, talking to a crowd from the middle a ring. The voice and sounds are muted, an echo of the past at best.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

Picture

This is promptly followed by several shots of her dropping various opponents one by one with a Diamond Cutter style move. One after the other, men and women of varying sizes and dimensions seem to fall victim to her. We are treated to shots of this woman covered in blood, staring into the camera with a glassy look in her eye. All the while, Johnny keeps on singing.

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Next we see her at a press shoot, surrounded by people and yet while those around her seem happy and excited, there's a hint of sadness to her, as if something was eating at her. Try as she might, she puts on a false smile, but she couldn't hide the pain anymore....

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

Picture

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

The scene transitions to her punching a bag as hard as she can, anger and hurt in her expression. We hear whispers of various voices demeaning her in multiple ways, "You're a trash human being. You're worthless. You're a piece of shit. Fuck off bitch. Don't ever speak to me again." A single tear sheds from her eye as she hits the bag so hard the seem bursts and sand rains down.

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Picture

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

She enters a simple, darkened room lit by a single light overhead. In a semi circle stood various shadowy figures, each dressed as various individuals from her life. The audience watching on the other end of the digital lens has no idea who they represent, but one by one, they each turn their backs on her. She just stares at them, contempt and disbelief on her face, before turning and doing the same to them, in turn and walking away while wiping at her eyes.

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

Picture

And you could have it all
My empire of
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

The vignette was coming to an end as we find the woman in her black ring gear once more, facing a six-foot ten inch beast of a man. Savage blows drop her down and yet she keeps getting back up like a demon possessed. She rallies in her fight, dropping bombs of her own that surprisingly stagger the monster until he doubles over and she leaps up, catches him by the neck and drops straight to the canvas in brutal fashion.

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Picture

The melody continues as we find the woman in more street style attire, walking down a sidewalk on a busy street. "Not the best of introductions," she said softly in a deep contralto voice and a hint of a southern accent.

"I am The Rebel, Melinda Rhodes, and once upon a time, I was one of the most promising prospects in professional wrestling, riding a career high like few enjoy," She began, "Then It all just fell apart, some of it due to powers beyond my control and some of it my own fucking fault. I've come to OCW to prove myself, my value, and to turn this train around. I'm not here to be anyone's friend. This bitch is here for one thing and that's to put a goddamned smile back on her face. You stand in the way of me and my goals, you're going to get the worst beating of your life. I don't care if you're the motherfucking world champion across umpteen wrestling promotions or a blue balled dragon. They don't call me Monster Slayer for nothing."

~She stops suddenly, the camera right along with her as she brings those dark brown eyes to bare upon the lens~

"June 18th 2018, my journey to championship gold at the Key West based OCW begins..."

~The Rebel then turns and pushes through a nearby door, going straight into a Neon lit bar. The scene fades back into the announce team~

Smith: An interesting young woman, Hood. She's got quite a story to tell.

Hood: I wouldn't wanna cross her...she seems like she's ready to kick someone's ass

Smith: Well she's come to the right place. No doubt Melinda Rhodes will be given every opportunity to right some wrongs...ascend and write a strong ending to her story.

Hood: No doubt

Smith: And, I'm told she'll be making her in-ring debut NEXT Monday.

Hood: I pray for the poor bastard she faces

Smith: Indeed. Well...I'm not sure what we're in store for next...so let's cut to some footage featuring, well, the man who laughs at everything - Tony the Spider

Hood: Sounds like we're buying time!

~The scene opens up in a dive bar. The OCW ppv is playing on a small 25 inch tv that is mounted to the wall at the far end. The camera pans through and we get a glimpse of some down and out looking individuals sitting at the bar. At the far end right beneath the tv sits Tony the Spider. Tony reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter, then motions to the bartender~

Tony: I’ll have another water please.

~The Bartender places a glass of water, and then a shot of whiskey in front of Tony~

Tony: (his eyes light up as he gulps down the whiskey, it burns his throat and he coughs) Ugh.. not as good as Smirnoff Ice. But you know me? You know my name!!!!Hahahahahahahahaha!

~Tony jumps up in excitement and rushes out of the bar, not realizing that the bartender just read the name on his shirt…~

Smith: Can he handle that much whiskey?

Hood: Probably not…I’m sure he’s dangerously close to alcohol poisoning right now

Smith: Well…let’s all hope that Tony the Spider doesn’t get behind the wheel of a car this evening

Hood: You’re not kidding

Smith: Anyway, now’s the portion of the program where we were hoping to see Grenier and Vargas battle for an OCW Title Shot and the Margarita Mix trophy

Hood: Yea, too bad Grenier is out searching Nebraska for a woman who clearly wants nothing to do with him

Smith: There is quite the mystery surrounding Danica this evening. Did she stand Grenier up? And, if so, why?

Hood: She figured out he’s a Grenier…saw some of Chad’s skits profiling the Grenier family history

Smith: Extremely distasteful

Hood: Speaking of taste…we’ve got some time…I’ll be right back!

Smith: Hey! Wait…they may just toss us to the main event!

~Smith sighs…it’s too late. Hood is already out of the tent in hot pursuit of another funnel cake~

Smith: Management, if you’re listening…no more circus themed show, please.

~There is an awkward silence. Smith doesn’t know what to say. Hood is gone. There’s a giant gap in the program. The fans are talking with one another. It sounds like CSPAN when nobody is speaking. That is, until – “Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd starts to play. The crowd shuts the fuck up and turns, facing the entry to the tent~

Smith: That’s Chad Vargas’ music! Could we be seeing his last ditch effort to entice Grenier into a match? I mean, we know Grenier is in the area.

~A giant John Deere tractor plows through the tent flaps. It’s got a lift in the front. Behind it pulls a wagon carrying a tall, rectangular box covered by the Confederate Flag. The crowd starts to cheer. Their hope is rising. Could we get a match after all? Vargas drives the tractor toward the ring…he puts the impressive vehicle in park and hops off as it idles. He heads to the back and unhooks the wagon. He gets back on the tractor and pulls forward~

Smith: What on Earth is Chad Vargas doing? Is there a lion in there? What’s he got up his sleeve?

~We hear Hood returning to the table. He’s swallowing the last bit of funnel cake. He snares a bottle of water, to wash it down. Vargas continues to maneuver the tractor, eventually turning it around where the lift faces the wagon. He slides the bottom of the lift underneath the rectangular box. He starts to lift it into the air~

Smith: Welcome back, Hood

Hood: Man this shit just keeps getting better. That funnel cake was SUPER fresh. So, the fuck did I miss…is Chad trying to plant some crops?

Smith: I don’t think so…I think, whatever he’s got in store is going to be fairly horrible

Hood: Well he’s already got the biggest confederate flag I’ve ever seen draped over that box…how much worse can it get?

Smith: Much worse

~Vargas gets the box at an acceptable height. He ceases the lifting and hops off the tractor, turning it off. He rolls into the ring and grabs a mic~

Chad Vargas: Hey! OCW…get me some crew members. I want that fucking cable that held the WEAK ASS Craze Title moved over to my cage.

~We notice an OCW technician moving about above the ring via the use of movable scaffolding. He grabs the very thick, very sturdy cable which held the Craze Championship one match earlier. It’s attached to another very thick cable acting as a faux pas tight rope. He slides the chain down where it hangs directly over what Vargas referred to as his ‘cage’. The bottom of the cable reveals a thick, metal hook. It hangs low enough to graze the confederate flag material which covers the top of the ‘cage’~

Smith: What is he doing? Cage? I told you he had something in there…I fear what we’re going to see. What type of animal has he illegally imprisoned?

Hood: Muffles?

Smith: I doubt that

Vargas: Alright…now hook that shit up!

~The OCW technician maneuvers his way over to the ‘cage’. He hooks the chain onto a thick, metal loop uncovered by the Confederate Flag. Once done, he signals to Vargas~

Vargas: Finally…solid work from a WEAK ASS company.

~Vargas heads over to the tractor. He climbs up the lift high enough where he can reach the confederate flag. He feels around, finding what appears to be a slit. He grabs hold of the slit with his right hand~

Vargas: And now for the reveal! Bobby…I know you’ve been ducking me. I know you’ve been hiding from me. I’ve got to give you credit…I figured you would have broken by now. But, nope, you have proven to be a man of your word. But…we all have our limits…we all have our buttons. And Bobby…I dare you to turn me down once you see THIS

~Chad pulls at the slit, ripping the confederate flag covering from the cage! The crowd reacts with shock~

Smith: OH MY GOSH!

Hood: Hoooooly shit!

~We see Bob’s fiancée, Danica inside a barred cage. Her hands are bound behind her. She’s got a gag inside her mouth. Her once white, pristine wedding dress is now stained, wrinkled, and dirty. Her eyes appear raccoon like due to the mess resulting from tears and makeup. We see the key to the cage nestled comfortably inside the key hole. The crowd grows incensed. They are hurling insults at Chad. Vargas steps down from the lift…he hops back on the tractor and puts it in reverse. The loud motor feeds into the mic causing fans to yell and cover their ears. Vargas has a good laugh at this. He turns the tractor around and drives it to the side of the ring leaving Danica, in her cage hanging from the ceiling. Vargas parks the tractor near the side of the pit and hops off, mic in hand~

Vargas: Alright Bobby…get your ass out here, come on! You want that bitch of yours back…get out here and face me like a man! Let’s go!

Smith: This is literally the most disgusting thing Chad Vargas has ever done. He has potentially ruined Bob Grenier’s life

Hood: When will people learn you don’t get married at wrestling events? Furthermore…when will men learn you don’t bring your wives around wrestlers? It’s not that fucking complicated!

~Vargas tosses the mic into the dirt. He’s standing in front of the ring, on the outside, staring at the tent entrance. He’s dressed, ready to compete. A smile paints his face the color of achievement. He continues motioning forward, begging Grenier to enter. While doing so, we see OCW staff rush toward the ring carrying the elusive Margarita Mix trophy. They place it over near the time keeper and Belvedere~

Smith: You have got to be kidding me! What does Vargas expect to gain from this?

Hood: An OCW Title shot

Smith: Okay, yea…there is that…but morally, where does an act like this leave him?

Hood: Satisfied

Smith: Ugh, forget it

~Vargas looks up at Danica. He yells out “Looks like he ain’t coming! That’s one fine man you’ve got there, isn’t it? Haha.” Chad leans up against the apron, crossing his legs and arms, staring at the entrance. He looks at his naked left wrist. He taps an invisible watch, indicating growing impatience~

Smith: Where is Bob? C’mon, Bob! The love of your life is hanging at least fifteen feet in the air…she needs you!

Hood: He’s Canadian and, therefore a cowardly bitch

Smith: I strongly disagree

~Chad throws his arms in the air. “WEAK ASS BITCH” he yells out. He turns and heads for the tractor. About halfway there the crowd EXPLODES! Chad stops. We get this view of Chad’s face. Behind him we see the entrance. Bob steps into the OCW tent wearing a sweat soaked, disheveled tux. His pace is slow, methodical – filled with rage. The crowd begins a “BOB!” chant. We see a smile creep across Chad’s face~

Smith: He’s here!!

Hood: Awww yea…shit’s about to get super real

~Vargas turns around. Grenier steps into the pit. Chad walks toward Grenier talking shit. Bob stops moving forward. He glares at Vargas over his brow. Vargas continues talking shit. Grenier suddenly takes off toward Vargas!! He spears Vargas into the dirt, controls the mount and pummels away on Chad’s head with a vicious assault of lefts and rights. Chad kicks his feet, trying to cover up. The crowd is bouncing up and down with “BOB!” chants~

Smith: Alright! Kick his butt, Bob!

Hood: The hell? Is this a match?

Smith: It’s a brawl!

~Bob gets off Chad. Vargas rolls over, in the dirt, coughing. Grenier looks up at Danica and tells her to hold on. We suddenly hear a bell sound followed by the professional voice of Belvedere~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…I have just been informed that Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas will compete in a Street Fight for the Margarita Mix trophy and an OCW Title Shot…and that match is now underway!

Picture

~The crowd cheers! Grenier pays no attention to the announcement. Instead, he’s looking for the key to Danica’s cage, unaware that it rests in the lock. He kneels and feels around Vargas. Vargas rolls onto his back and says “WHAT THE FUCK!” He punches Grenier in the neck!! Bob stands and staggers back. Vargas gets to his feet and he charges at Grenier. He throws a clothesline…but Grenier grabs onto Chad’s arm and takes him down with a Crossface!! The crowd’s energy reaches a new high~

Smith: A crossface! He could end it right here!

Hood: Talk about some WEAK ASS Booking…shit better not end right here

~Vargas takes his free hand…he reaches over and gouges at Grenier’s eye! Grenier yells and releases the hold. Vargas scurries away, returning to his feet. Bob is on one knee, clearing his vision. Chad sprints in, throwing a knee at Bob’s face. Grenier tucks and rolls, dodging the knee. Grenier pops to his feet, removes his coat and wraps it around Chad’s throat…he starts to choke out the Confederate Icon~

Smith: Normally I do not stand for this type of behavior – you know, death by choking. But in this case I’m going to bend the narrative a bit

Hood: FLIP FLOPPER

Smith: That was so…whatever year John Kerry ran against Bush

Hood: Doesn’t make it not true

~Vargas falls to his knees. His face is turning puce. He coughs, and spits up. He reaches out with his arms for some type of mythical rope or stabilizing point. There is none. He falls onto his shoulder and goes limp. Grenier removes the coat and stands over Chad. He tosses the coat to the side and sucks back some air through his nose. He gurgles the mucus from his nose into his throat…he mixes it with saliva and hawks the biggest fucking loogie onto the side of Vargas’s face. We watch the thick, light green substance ooze down Chad’s cheek. Grenier wipes his mouth, glaring at Vargas. Danica tries to yell, but it’s muffled by the gag. She tries pointing out that the key is in the lock. Bob, still unaware, looks up at her…he looks over at the tractor and rushes to get it started~

Smith: I don’t think Bob realizes the key is up there. Danica is incapable of communication

Hood: Well no shit, she is a woman after all

Smith: SHE’S GOT A GAG IN HER MOUTH

Hood: You sure?

~Grenier sits atop the tractor and looks around to start it. It won’t turn on. He looks and sees that the key is missing. He pounds his fist into the steering wheel. Vargas sits up, wiping the loogie off his face. He rubs it into the dirt and sees Bob. He reaches down into the front of his shorts and removes the key to the tractor, laughing. Grenier hops off the tractor and heads directly for Vargas. Chad stands and holds the key above his head. Grenier breaks into a sprint. Chad turns around and THROWS the key into the crowd. Grenier spears Chad into the ground!! Vargas tries to get Grenier guillotine. Grenier, though, using strength composed of pure rage, lifts Vargas up and over, slamming him into the dirt with a Northern Lights Suplex!! The crowd goes wild!! Grenier returns to his feet and heads toward the fans, looking for the key~

Smith: Interesting dichotomy here…you’ve got Vargas who is trying to win a match…meanwhile you’ve got Grenier who seems more interested in saving Danica

Hood: Does he even know he’s in a match?

Smith: I’m sure he does…it’s just immaterial

~The fans all look to see who caught the key. Nobody can seem to figure it out. Grenier yells “WHERE’S THE FUCKING KEY YOU CHOADS?!” Vargas sits up, reaching for his back. He opens one eye and sees Grenier pleading with the crowd for the key. One by one the fans in the area shrug…until they get to a man wearing a NASCAR hat sporting a fuzz stache, holding a smuggled-in bottle of Keystone while smoking Menthol cigarettes. He’s whistling and staring upward. All the fans turn on him. He feels their glares, “WHAT?” They consume the man. Grenier eagerly watches, awaiting the key~

Smith: I think they’ve found the key

Hood: What the hell? We’re just gonna sit here and act like a bunch of fans attacking ONE guy is cool?

Smith: He’s withholding the key…AND he snuck a beer in here

Hood: He’s still a patron, Smith. NASCAR FANS LIVES MATTER

~A lively fan emerges with the key! All the others rejoice! The NASCAR/Vargas fans is left lying on the ground, moaning…but, like a true man of the south the beer is still in his hand, virtually unharmed. Grenier asks for the key. The fan tosses it his way. Grenier reaches out to catch it…before he can, Vargas comes up from behind with a Backstabber!! The fans booo!! Grenier arches his back in pain, rolling around. Vargas reaches for his back as well…it’s a dirt surface, not exactly forgiving~

Smith: Dang it! He almost had the key!

Hood: Serves him right for inciting a mob

Smith: After what this man has been through over the past month I think we can excuse a few indiscretions

Hood: Like potential murder? Yea, okay, sure

~Vargas fights through the pain and snares Grenier by his white, buttoned up shirt. He shoves him against the wall separating the crowd from the pit. He grabs the vest covering Grenier’s white shirt and rips it off. He yanks the undone tied away from Bob ‘s neck. He grabs at the collar of Bob’s white shirt and rips it open, buttons flying everywhere. Bob’s upper body is exposed. Vargas mutters something about “Gay ass clothing” He rears back and cuts through Grenier’s chest with a knife edged chop!! The crowd groans. Grenier stumbles forward, holding his chest in pain~

Smith: Ruining the man’s wedding tux…disgraceful

Hood: Well Grenier shouldn’t have worn it to the ring

Smith: He’s been searching for Danica the entire evening!

Hood: Still, the guy could have changed into a flannel shirt and jean shorts

~Vargas stays right on top of Grenier…he grabs the former OCW Champion by the back of the neck and drags him out of the pit and into the entrance. He picks Grenier up and scoop slams him into the dirt…Grenier hits with a loud thud! Vargas grabs Grenier by the leg and drags him toward the tent flaps. The camera man rushes to keep up. Vargas yanks Grenier through the flaps and out into the circus grounds. The sun is starting to set. The lights adorning the attractions and food stands are lit up – giving the setting an entertaining hue. Grenier kicks at Vargas, freeing his leg. He gets to his feet and throws some right hands at Chad’s head! Chad staggers back…fans scatter, getting out of their way. Chad lifts a knee into Grenier’s gut and tosses him head first into the freshly mowed grass lining the surface~

Smith: And this has spilled out into the circus grounds…I hope OCW fans stay clear of these two

Hood: I just hope they don’t fuck up the funnel cake stand!

Smith: And…finally, a match in which Hood finds drama

Hood: Fuckin right

~Vargas yells obscenities to nobody in particular. “FUCKING BITCH” he says, heading toward a group of fans. Most of them run. A few brave and/or drunk fans linger. Chad rips a cell phone from one of them, just before he was able to take a picture. He yells at Chad…Vargas flips him off and feigns a punch. The fan cowers and runs. Vargas turns toward Grenier, who is on one knee…Vargas throws the phone as hard as he can into the side of Bob’s head! It SMACKS loudly!! Grenier grabs the side of his head, displaying serious pain. Chad snares Bob by the hair and drags him toward a beer station. He tosses Grenier over the purchase counter…Bob tumbles recklessly across before falling on the other side. The employees scatter~

Smith: Looks like we will be furnishing that fan with a new phone

Hood: OR…tickets to our next show

Smith: The odds that he lives in Key West are very slim

Hood: So are the odds that he did anything useful with that fucking phone.

~Vargas grabs the CHEAP ASS stand by one of the side posts and he shoves it to the side, turning it diagonally, revealing Bob. Grenier is laid out, on his side atop a beer soaked rubber man. Vargas stomps on Bob a few times before checking out the selection. It’s Budweiser, Bud Light and PB FUCKING R. Chad snares a cup with a logo for the PPV on the side and pours himself a hearty serving. He downs the entire cup quickly. He fills the cup up again, turns it over and pours it all over Bob. The fans standing around the action boo~

Smith: You have to wonder if Bob is in wrestling shape. He obviously didn’t plan on competing here tonight

Hood: Bob has never been in wrestling shape. You ever looked at the guy? He basically gets off his couch and fights

Smith: Well…then what’s the deal with him tonight?

Hood: It’s that woman! She’s warped his mind!

~Grenier rolls off the plastic mat and tries getting to his feet. Vargas grabs Bob by the hair on the back of his head. Grenier grabs the rubber mat, peeling it off the ground. He throws a mule kick into Chad’s groin!! Vargas lets go of Grenier and staggers back…Grenier spins around and SMACKS Vargas in the side of the head with the rubber mat…stale beer splatters everywhere in a giant, wet ball of mist. Fans scream and try to get out of the way. Grenier drops the mat and runs Vargas over with a clothesline. Vargas hits the ground hard~

Smith: Well, that’s one way to clean the mat

Hood: First bit of house cleaning a Grenier has done in years

Smith: Rude

Hood: It is appreciated, though. You ever been in a bar that smells like stale alcohol? It’s fucking disgusting

~Grenier makes his way back toward the entrance of the tent. Vargas gets to his feet and sees Grenier heading away. He stumbles forward, gets his feet under him and rushes Grenier from behind with a forearm to the back of the head! Grenier staggers forward. Vargas grabs Bob and drags him toward another stand…THE FUNNEL CAKE stand. We can hear Hood audibly gasp into his head set. Vargas SLAMS Grenier’s head into the counter top. Vargas looks over the counter at the glass case with the funnel cakes inside, staying heated. Vargas motions for the employees to move. He lifts Grenier up and slams him on top of the counter. The wooden stand shakes. Vargas hops on top of the counter…we can see the wood foundation cracking, giving way. Vargas stands up…but his head hits the bottom of a FUNNEL CAKE sign. He punches the sign as hard as he can…it detaches and falls to the ground. Fans have circled the stand, anxious to see what’s going to happen next~

Smith: The funnel cake stand is in trouble, Hood

Hood: No! I was going to get one for the road!

Smith: Honestly, they are doing you a favor

Hood: Heartless bastards

~Vargas pulls Grenier up and hooks him for a Suplex!! Grenier throws a few kidney shots into Chad’s midsection. He spins Vargas around…and hooks him around the waist! The crowd buzzes with anticipation. He hoists Chad in the air…as he does the stand starts to give way! Grenier tosses Chad over his head with a Release German Suplex!! Chad flies backward, SMASHING into the glass container holding the funnel cakes!! Glass, sugar and a sweet aroma fill the air! Right after Grenier releases Chad the stand crumbles…he plummets unexpectedly to the ground, landing awkwardly! Wood falls on top of him, covering him from site!! The crowd goes wild! A ‘HOLY SHIT’ chant fills the Nebraskan landscape~

Smith: Holy smokes! They might both be out!

Hood: You never know what you had until it’s gone, Smith. I am depressed

Smith: My crestfallen colleague will no doubt rebound, folks. I assure you

Hood: I’m just grateful we’ve got that caged woman hanging fifteen feet in the air. Makes me not feel so bad about my predicament

~We zoom in on the ruined funnel cake container. Chad’s legs are visible…as is his lower body and stomach. His chest and head are covered by what remains of the funnel cake warmer. We see Scruff appears…he carefully removes pieces of the warmer until revealing the face of Vargas. His blonde hair is bright red. Blood covers his face. He’s got tiny cuts all over his arms and chest. He’s breathing, but unconscious. A few fans rush away, frightened by the scene. Other fans, especially one in a Crimson shirt, try to get closer. Scruff orders them back. Puff enters the picture. Scruff orders him to keep the fans back while he checks on Grenier. Puff stands near Vargas, eyeing pieces of the funnel cake. Scruff starts to remove pieces of wood to get to Bob~

Smith: And our first PUFF sighting of 2018

Hood: Nice to know the guy is still employed, I guess

Smith: Vargas is in rough shape, though. That’s a grizzly scene

Hood: That’s what he gets for ruining the funnel cake stand

~While removing pieces of wood…the pile begins to stir. Scruff takes a step back and watches, along with everyone else as Bob rises from the dead! He throws the disheveled wooden heap off his body and gets to his feet. He falls to one knee, obviously far from 100% coherent. There’s a giant, sharp piece of wood impaled in his left arm. He locates it, grabs the end and yanks it out. A few members in the audience gasp. The wound spurts some blood and bleeds a bit but nothing that requires THE KNIFE MAN. Bob gets to his feet. Scruff asks if he’s okay…Grenier shoves Scruff aside and heads toward the tent~

Smith: Bob lives!

Hood: Fucking gnarly wound…that’s, I guess the perks to living in the Canadian wilderness…shit like being impaled by wood is an every day thing

Smith: Perhaps…but, if you’ll notice, he has no intention on pinning Vargas. He’s focused on rescuing Danica.

Hood: What a loser

~Puff continues to monitor Vargas, who has yet to move. Everyone is watching Grenier head for the tent. Puff bends over and snares a piece of funnel cake. He wipes off some glass and blood and throws it into his mouth. It meets his anticipated level of satisfaction. He smiles and hops around, all happy. Meanwhile, we follow Grenier who has reached the entrance into the tent. He flings the flaps open and heads toward the pit. He steps into the pit and looks up at Danica who has been watching everything via the simulcast on one of the four screens. Grenier yells “I’M GONNA GET YOU DOWN” she nods with hope~

Smith: Do the right thing, Bob. Rescue Danica and then worry about The Confederate Jerk!

Hood: Yea, great idea! Sacrifice a shot at the OCW Title for some woman who will leave you the minute she has an opportunity to trade up

Smith: You don’t know that!

Hood: Yes I do…and it’s fucking Grenier so she should have PLENTY of opportunities to trade up

~Grenier heads over where the key was dropped. He feels around the dirt, eventually locating the key. He heads over for the tractor. The big screens inside the tent feature a shot of the bloodied, shredded Confederate Icon. He starts to move. The crowd inside the arena yells and screams. Grenier pays them no mind – he’s focused. Vargas sits up…blood runs down from his head, over his face, across his chest…he reaches up, feeling around his head, finding a big gash. Puff is paralyzed from the sight~

Smith: They might have to call this, Hood. He’s bleeding really badly.

Hood: That would fall right in line with some WEAK ASS BOOKING

Smith: He asked for this…be careful what you wish for

Hood: Fuck that saying…that’s only for people who wish for stupid things

~Vargas, keeping his left hand on the wound, sits up. He reaches over, grabs Puff by the collar and rips his ref shirt down the middle. Vargas yanks and yanks until he gets the material free from puff’s body. Puff’s face turns red with embarrassment as his pale, jiggly, gelatinous frame is exposed to the world! Vargas places the material onto his head and secures it, tightly fashioning a makeshift tourniquet so that he may continue fighting. He looks at Puff who is frozen with fear and says, “Gotta make sure this shit stays on.” He grabs Puff and drops him with THE STROKE onto the ground. He gets up, the material hasn’t shifted an inch. Vargas looks pleased. Vargas spots one of the giant screens outside the tent…it’s showing the inside. He watches Grenier take a seat on the tractor, insert the key and fire the engine up! Vargas heads toward the tent~

Smith: Amazingly…he’s okay

Hood: Some new headgear for the Confederate Icon…not sure that type of apparel will go over well in Everclear County

Smith: Probably not

~Grenier struggles with the tractor, at first, getting it away from the barricade/wall. He finally gets free and starts driving, slowly toward Danica’s cage. Vargas enters the arena. The crowd reacts in negative fashion. The white and black striped ref shirt wrapped around his head is now dark, dark red with faint black stripes. He stumbles into the pit and heads in the direction of the tractor. He stands near Danica’s cage…it’s right in the way of Grenier’s path. He lays down, refusing to move. Grenier hits the brakes…still several feet from Vargas. Vargas yells “GET OFF THE FUCKING TRACTOR AND PIN ME!” Grenier is perplexed. “C’MON YOU FUCKING PUSSY. FUCKING PIN ME. ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ALL OF THIS!”~

Smith: What the heck is he doing?

Hood: I think he’s delirious from the head wound!

Smith: I think he’s trying to force Grenier to admit he’s still a wrestler…will it work?

Hood: If Grenier’s got anything resembling a sack of balls left between his legs then, it should

~Grenier remains frozen, deliberating his next move. He looks up at the visage of his love – torn, tattered, and in tears. He shakes his head, fires up the tractor and moves full steam ahead! Vargas remains on the ground, watching…with each inch he grows a little more anxious. Finally, he reaches the realization that Bob is going to run him over. He gets up and crawls out of the way just in time! Bob steamrolls past Vargas, toward Danica. Vargas curses. He hurries over toward Belvedere, snaring the Mix trophy. Bob gets the tractor in position and begins to move the lift upward. Vargas sees Grenier growing closer to Danica. The lift is in position…Bob climbs up onto the lift and is able to reach the bottom of the cage. He spots the key inside the keyhole. The crowd is cheering him on. Vargas reaches the tractor and hops onto the seat~

Smith: C’mon, Bob! Get up there before Vargas can stop you!

Hood: Bob is lost, Smith…he’s gone. He will never be the same.

Smith: He’s evolving as a man, Hood.

Hood: WEAK ASS GRENIER

~Grenier reaches up, grabbing the bottom of the cage…he starts to pull himself up. Vargas SMACKS him in the back with the Mix trophy!! Bob’s grip slips…he looks down and drops onto the hood of the tractor. He turns around and is DRILLED in the gut with the Mix trophy! Bob doubles over…Chad raises trophy high over his head and brings it crashing down over Bob’s back!! Grenier falls off the front of the tractor, into the dirt. He rolls onto his back, grimacing. Vargas leaps off the tractor, stands next to Grenier and smacks him repeatedly with the trophy until it’s all bent and warped. He tosses the trophy aside and heads for the ring~

Smith: Well…so much for the Margarita Mix trophy

Hood: At least Vargas got some use out of it. Fucking thing has just been sitting in storage for the past six months

Smith: Yea but you’d like to see it treated with a little more respect than that

Hood: Why? So it can sit inside a glass casing for the next twenty years? Fuck that shit. Make good use out of it…that’s the smart way to handle things

~Vargas reaches the ring and he begins searching underneath. Grenier is still out. Vargas is halfway under the ring when he stops. He crawls backwards and stands up…he reveals BOLT CUTTERS. The crowd gasps. Grenier points up at Danica. She starts to panic, looking down at Grenier. Vargas heads for the tractor with the bolt cutters in his hands~

Smith: Oh come on, you don’t think

Hood: Why would he feign this? It’s his way of forcing Bob back into the game

Smith: Just let the man live his life! Leave him alone!

Hood: This is the only way, Smith. The only way to remind Bob that all he has in his life is OCW.

~Vargas climbs atop the tractor. He scales the lift and reaches up, snaring the edge of the cage. He places the bolt cutters inside the cage, sliding them between bars. Danica tires to kick them away but is unable. Chad pulls himself up and places his feet on the edge of the cage with the front half of his boots squished between bars. He reaches over and grabs the key from the keyhole, placing it into his trunks. He snares the bolt cutters and tosses them onto the roof of the cage. He jumps up, grabs the top and pulls himself up once more, now seated on top of the cage. The crowd chants “NO! NO!” Vargas pays them no mind. Grenier, meanwhile, begins to stir…he tries a few push ups, but fails – falling back into the dirt~

Smith: What is going through his mind? This could put him in jail!

Hood: Well he’s already kidnapped someone so I guess he figures he’s got nothing to lose

Smith: There’s a big difference between kidnapping and attempted murder

Hood: Is it appropriate to refer to an adult being taken as ‘kidnapping’…seems inappropriate

~Grenier finally gets to his knees. He slowly transitions to one knee before struggling to his feet and falling up against the tractor for support. He rubs the back of his head where a good portion of that Mix Trophy trauma remains. He looks around for Vargas. The fans point up. Grenier takes a few steps back, looks up and sees Vargas atop the cage, getting to his feet with the bolt cutters in hand. A sudden renewed focus consumes him. His entire body tenses up. Mentally he begins to work over what to do~

Smith: Can he get up there in time?

Hood: No way

Smith: Well…what does he do, then?

Hood: Allow Vargas to set him free!

~Vargas takes the bolt cutters and brings them near the cable. The crowd starts t freak out. Danica, inside the cage, looks up with fear, hearing each step Vargas is taking. Grenier hops onto the tractor. He starts it up. Vargas gets the cutting end of his tool around the cable. Grenier moves the lift up some. He yells at Danica to “HOLD ON.” He moves forward and runs into the cage with the tractor! The cage sways violently!! Vargas grabs hold of the cable to keep from falling off…in the process he drops the bolt cutters! They fall off the top of the cage and land into the dirt near the tractor. Grenier lowers the lift back to where it was moments ago and waits for the cage to return to a still position~

Smith: Smart move!

Hood: He’s wising up…he actually tried to take Danica out himself!

Smith: He did not! That was to prevent Vargas from cutting the cage down from the ceiling

Hood: If Vargas had done that…how would he have made it…wouldn’t he have fallen with the cage?

Smith: Good question…I can only assume he would have held onto the broken cable? Or maybe he just didn’t think that far ahead?

Hood: True…he has lost a shit load of blood

~Grenier shuts the tractor down, hops onto the front and climbs onto the lift. He reaches up and manages to catch the slightly swinging cage, bringing it to a still position. He lifts up much the same way Vargas did…he stands outside the cage. He reaches in and hugs Danica with the bars between them. He whispers some reassurances to her before reaching up and climbing to the top. Upon his arrival he finds Vargas leaning against the cable for support. Grenier gets to his feet atop the cage and he stares Vargas down. Vargas releases his vice grip of the cable and clinches his fist. The crowd starts to go wild~

Smith: This is crazy! One of them is sure to fall

Hood: Hey…you wanna make an omelet you gotta break some eggs

Smith: How does that apply here?

Hood: Grenier is the egg. The Mix trophy and OCW Title shot is the omelet. Vargas is the hungry mother fucker

~The two men suddenly burst into blows! Rights and lefts throw at one another’s head! The crowd does the ‘boo’ and ‘yay’ chant…boos for Vargas, yays for Grenier. Every time Grenier hits Chad a cloud of bloody mist fills the air. The top of the cage starts to turn red. Grenier is winning the battle. Vargas staggers back…Grenier can sense the end nearing. He hits Vargas…he hits him again and again and again…Vargas nears the edge of the cage. Grenier drills him with a right hand! Vargas teeters, waving his arms in the air to maintain his balance…his heels are nearly over the edge. Grenier winds up and throws a HUGE right hand…but Vargas blocks it and kicks Grenier in the groin!!!! The crowd boos!! Vargas hooks Grenier around the waist…he picks Grenier up and drops him head first on top of the cage with a piledriver!! The crowd groans…they get upset. Vargas, seated on top of the cage, reaches up for the blood soaked tourniquet atop his head~

Smith: NO!

Hood: Hey…you gotta do what you gotta do

Smith: But a piledriver on TOP of the cage? Danica probably heard the love of her life’s skull CRACKING against that unforgiving steel

Hood: Yea, no doubt it sucked – for her.

~Vargas removes the tourniquet. A reservoir of blood flows free and hits the top of the cage. Vargas rings the shirt out on top of the cage, trying to dry it out a bit. He realizes it’s no use…so he drops it on top of the cage and slides off…down the way which he came. He stands parallel with Danica. He runs his fingers through his blood soaked hair and flicks the blood in her face. She screams. Vargas hops onto the lifts and crawls down onto the tractor before reaching the ground, safely. He heads over toward the crowd, spotting a busty female in a I DID IT FOR MEYHU shirt. He RIPS the shirt down the middle, yanking it off the woman. The men in the crowd go wild. Most of the women in the crowd boo. A few of the tougher women in the crowd squeal with delight. Vargas wraps the new shirt around his head to plug up his porous scalp~

~Smith: Well that was unnecessary

Hood: Unnecessary? The guy is gushing blood…he needs that shirt more than she does!

Smith: It felt very assaultish

Hood: Nah way, man…that woman is suddenly trending on twitter. He just made her famous!

~He heads back to the tractor. We look up and see Grenier beginning to stir. He sits up…he looks concussed. He holds his head, trying to remember where he’s at. He’s sitting in the fresh, wet blood of Vargas. He places his palms down, soaking them in the blood on accident. He stands and starts to slip around. He reaches for the cable to keep balance…but he has a hard time keeping a firm grip~

Smith: He’s covered in Chad’s blood! There’s no way he can remain stable up there…he’s got to get down!

Hood: I know an easy way down…it’ll probably hurt though

~Vargas sits atop the tractor and fires it up. He has revenge in mind. He raises the lift and moves forward, running into the cage. The cage begins to swing. Vargas lowers the lift and puts the tractor in reverse. Grenier, atop the cage, holds on for dear life. The cage swings to and fro…HITHER AND YON…Bob’s feet slid and slide all over the slick, bloody surface. His hands desperately work to maintain a grip on the slick, bloody cable. The crowd’s tempo rises and falls with each sway of the cage. Finally…his grip comes free! Bob slides across the top of the cage and over the edge!! He falls but manages to catch the bottom of the cage with his right hand!! He hangs, tenuously…over fifteen feet from the ground…his bloody fingers slipping inch by inch~

Smith: This doesn’t look good…I don’t think he can hold on

Hood: Who knew Chad’s greatest defense would be a busted head

~Danica is helpless, tied up. She watches Bob’s fingers slowly slip toward the edge. Bob looks up at her with a cavalcade of apologies embedded within his eyes. The final finger slips and he falls…almost in slow motion, at first. And then – THUD! His body slams into the dirt ground…dust kicking up all around. Vargas, still seated on the tractor looks over, smiling. The crowd is silent~

Smith: Oh my gosh…did you hear that?!

Hood: Sounded rough

Smith: His back could be broken…we need medical out here!

Hood: Yes…but only if they look at Chad’s head first!

~Vargas hops off the tractor. He looks up at Danica and yells “YOUR FUCKIN MAN IS DEAD!” Danica tries to scream, but can’t. Vargas fights through the dust, angrily. He locates Bob. Bob is flat on his back…he’d look peaceful if it weren’t for the fact we just saw him fall at least fifteen feet. Vargas places his boot atop Bob’s chest. Scruff slides in with the count. The crowd boos~

1!

2!

3....NO! SHOULDER UP!

Smith: Bob got his shoulder up!

Hood: Fucking Canadian woodsmen or whatever you call them…THEY JUST WON’T DIE

~Infuriated, Vargas kicks Bob in the chest. He grabs Grenier by the hair and yells “YOU FUCKING IDIOT” He pulls Bob up and hooks him for The Stroke!! Grenier turns his head and he BITES Chad in the ear!!! Chad yells and lets go!! Bob throws a kick into Chad’s gut…he lifts Chad up and drops him with the Hollinger Park Hangman!!!!! The tent EXPLODES (NOT LITERALLY)!!! Both men are on their back…the crowd chants ‘BOB! BOB! BOB!’~

Smith: Out of nowhere!

Hood: He fucking bit him! Between Checkers and now Bob, we’re going to have to start giving RABIES shots to all of our wrestlers.

~Bob sits up. He gets to his feet and staggers for the tractor. The crowd freaks out. They yell at Bob to pin Chad. Bob stops and listens. He looks up to Danica. Danica nods, giving him the go ahead…her eyes scream “BEAT HIS ASS”. Bob scowls, nods and heads for The Confederate Icon! He goes for the pin, Scruff counts~

1!

2!

3!!!

NOOO!! KICK OUT!

Smith: No! Bob got the pin…I swear he did!

Hood: You need fucking glasses man…I mean that shit was close…but he kicked out in time

Smith: Well Scruff is saying he did…so I guess he did. Dang it!

~Grenier gets to his feet and he signals it’s over. The crowd is jumping up and down…for the first time all evening Bob is trying to win this fucking thing. Grenier peels Vargas off the dirt and hooks him with a Front Chancery. He squeezes down, choking Vargas. We see blood from Chad’s head getting all over Bob’s arm and rib cage. Vargas kicks his legs…he pushes back with his hands and he’s able to SQUEEZE out!! A surprised Bob throws a lariat…Chad ducks…he hooks Bob and swiftly drops him with THE STROKE!! The crowd’s cheers are stifled. Chad flips Bob over and pins him~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings. The crowd BOOOS. Danica starts to cry from within the cage. Vargas rolls onto his back, breathing heavily~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the first ever Margarita Mix Champion as well as the #1 Contender to the OCW Championship…. “THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS!!!!!

Smith: I hate this! This isn’t right! This is not how a story should end!

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~A bloody Vargas…flat on his back, raises his right fist in the air in victory! The crowd BOOOOS. He sits up, laughing. The man has come a long way to get back to this moment. He struggles to his feet. Scruff hands him the Mix trophy. Chad looks at it…it’s all warped. He breaks it in half over his knee and tosses both pieces to the side. He asks for a mic. Scruff runs to get one~

Smith: What a show of disrespect! The hard work that went into the Margarita Mix was made a mockery of right there by Vargas!

Hood: Hey, it’s his trophy…he can do with it what he wants. Besides, fucking thing was warped to begin with

Smith: Only because HE warped it

Hood: Well, then…OCW should make the fucking thing stronger

Smith: If they did that…Bob might be dead

~Vargas receives a mic. He speaks~

Chad Vargas: FUCK YES! The Confederate Icon is BACK where he belongs! I’m getting my OCW Championship back…TIO, Meyhu…you can be sure of THAT. But…as for you, Bob. Why…why the fuck did you have to make this so complicated?

~Bob is still on the ground, unconscious. Vargas reaches into his pants. Several fans shriek~

Chad Vargas: RELAX…I’m not Scott Syren.

~He pulls out the key to the cage~

Chad Vargas: All of this was avoidable Bob. All YOU had to do was take the match. But NO…you had to say no. You MADE me do all this. Do you really think I give a fuck about your life…about some bitch dumb enough to marry you? Hell no. All I give a shit about is Chad fucking Vargas. Your selfishness stood in the way of my path back to the OCW Championship.

~Vargas tosses the key at Bob…it lands on his chest~

Chad Vargas: There. You can have your fucking dumb bitch back. I’m finished with you Bob…I got what I want. Have a nice life.

~Vargas drops the mic and heads out of the pit. The KNIFE MAN runs out to look at his head. Vargas sees the giant knife waving around and dodges it, getting away from The Knife Man. The Knife Man shrugs and heads to check on Grenier~

Smith: Well…that, as they say…is that. Is this the last time we will see Grenier compete in OCW?

Hood: That’s a good question

Smith: I certainly hope not…well folks, we’ve got a mess to clean up down here…so, while that’s being taken care of…let’s cut to an advertisement for our NEXT super show.


Picture
OCW Presents: Lost at Sea
LIVE! Monday, July 30th 2018
From the USS Theodore Roosevelt Aircraft Carrier
Located in the Pacific Ocean near San Diego, California

Opening Match
TBA vs. TBA

Singles Match
TBA vs. TBA

Craze Championship
Ed Houston (c) vs. TBA

#1 Contenders Match
Curt Canon vs. Tommy Crimson

OCW Title Match
TBA vs. "The Confederate Icon" Chad Vargas


Smith: Wow! That should be something...I've heard management has been wanting to do a 'Lost at Sea' event for years now

Hood: Fucking FINALLY

Smith: Fan of the concept?

Hood: Meh...I'm just glad we're going to a place touched by civilization. San Diego, wooo!

Smith: Right...well everyone...it's been a wild night. We've seen more action that even I anticipated. And, well, it's all coming down to the headliner

Hood: HAROLD JONES?

Smith: NO! The OCW Title Match. The Incredible One defending his OCW Title against Matt Meyhu in an Iron Man Match. We are just moments away. But first...we've got some interesting footage...

~The camera cuts to black. Slowly it fades into a familiar scene: A decent sized living room. On the couch sits Mack O'Connor, watching ESPN. A clean, metallic-looking cane leans against the couch next to him. He has a bandage wrapped around the top of his head, and his face is still cut and bruised from the attack he suffered nearly a month ago. Laying next to the couch is his black lab. The dog is currently sleeping. He listens to the commentators on ESPN talk about "The Greatest Show on Earth." Mack didn't buy the event on PPV. Why would he?~

Commentator 1: It's been one hell of a night so far! And still so much more to come!

Commentator 2: And of course, we're all waiting for the big fight that everyone's been talking about... Tonight's main event: Meyhu vs. TIO. Marvel vs. Incredible. Sure to steal the show!

Commentator 1: Absolutely. And with speculation regarding Lukas Emery's desire to cash in his "Oh Shit" Contract for the OCW Title, it seems like the stakes for this match have been significantly raised.

Commentator 2: You said it, but next up we're going to be seeing-

~Mack turns the TV off~

Mack: For fucks sake...

~He grabs his cane and uses it to help himself stand up. The dog senses the sudden movement and bursts awake, barking loudly and out of control. It nearly knocks Mack off his feet~

Mack: Jesus fuckin' Christ... God!

~The dog looks around, realizing nothing happened. It lays down and goes back to sleep~

Mack: Fuckin' hell...

~Mack, using the cane to walk, limps over to the kitchen. He grabs a beer out of the fridge, cracks it open, and takes a quick sip. He thinks for a moment, then limps towards his garage~

Mack: Meyhu vs Tartare... Again. Lukas Emery in the title picture... What the fuck is this world coming to...

~He enters the garage, shutting the door behind him. He flips on the light in the garage. He takes a long sip of beer as he stares at one of the walls in the garage at an image we've seen before: The TransAtlantic Title belt and the Paradigm Title belt. Two titles that Mack fought for and earned before it was decided they'd be defunct. He moves closer to the wall, cracking a small smile as he chugs the rest of the beer. He tosses the beer in a trash can, then pulls out his cell phone. He dials a number and puts it to his ear~

Mack: Hey Treat... We should talk...

~The screen cuts back to ringside~

Smith: Hood!! That's Mack O'Connor!

Hood: I know that! You think I'd get his ugly ass face confused with somebody else? Did you think I was sitting over here going "Damn, Biff has lost a ton of weight!"

Smith: Well excuse me for being excited. Mack was arguably the best wrestler we had in 2017. His return would shake the main event scene up considerably

Hood: No doubt

Smith: And...speaking of...IT'S TIME!

Hood: I almost bought an adult diaper for this match

Smith: It won't be THAT long

Hood: Fucking hope not.

Smith: Folks… it’s time. The match we’ve all been waiting for.

Hood: Muffles vs. Checkers?!

Smith: What..? No! Our main event!

Hood: Oh that match… yeah should be EPIC!

Smith: I’m told we’ve got a special musical performance! Disturbed is here LIVE to play TIO’s entrance!

Hood: TIO may be a pussy, but his saving grace is Disturbed is awesome.

Smith: I hear they’re almost ready, let’s go to the stage!

~The camera fades from the announce table to the stage that is outside the tent. We see each member of Disturbed come onto the stage, as the crowd outside cheers. They wave to the crowd as Mike Wengren sits at the drums, John Moyer picks up his bass, Dan Donegan swings his guitar from behind his back and David Draiman grabs the mic in the front of the stage and does his signature “uh-wah-wah-wah” as the crowd goes insane~

David Draiman: OCW! Are you ready to be Disturbed?

~The crowd cheers as the drummer counts them in with the treble and then the heavy bass and main riff of Who Taught You How to Hate plays loud like thunder. A mini moshpit begins in the middle of the crowd as the rest of them start a chant.~

I hear the voices echoing around me
Angered eyes that don't even know who I am
Looking to kill again (they will kill again)
As the unknown enemies surround me
Wicked laughter resonates inside my head
And i am filled with dread (and adrenaline)
What did I do? Why do I deserve this?
So we're different,
Why do I deserve to die now?
Give me a reason why

~Halfway through the lyrics, the lights go out and a spotlight fixates on the stage, showing a square hole. Strobe lights begin to flash furiously, and smoke starts to engulf the stage. A figure in a black hooded sweater and wrestling tights begins to emerge from the hole. The figure doesn’t turn around to the crowd, as the figure takes a championship belt off of his waist and hoists it in the air. The belt is revealed the be the OCW Championship, as the crowd goes nuts, and a loud “TIO” chant can be heard over the music.~

Then it all goes a blur
Let instinct take flight
Find my hands on his throat
Yet hear myself say

~The champion, The Incredible One, turns around to reveal that he is wearing a masked hoodie, and the mask is the face of Disturbed’s mascot, “The Guy”. TIO and Draiman shake hands before TIO hops off the stage and begins to head to the tent through the crowd of the people.~

Tell me now, who taught you how to hate?
'Cause it isn't in your blood
Not a part of what you're made
So let this be understood
Somebody taught you how to hate
When you live this way you become
Dead to everyone

~Draiman begins to sing the chorus as TIO goes through the crowd. He pats the hands of every single fan that puts their hand out. He makes it through the rather large crowd as he makes it to the entrance of tent and the ring is several feet away. The crowd inside the tent sees the champion emerge into the tent and cheer for their champion. TIO claps the hands of those who are in reach until he rolls into the ring and lights go out besides a single spotlight in the middle. He stares into the hard camera, taking his mask off to reveal his face to a thunderous applause, and lifts the belt up. The lights return to normal as he begins to go to a turnbuckle but the music completely cuts out. TIO turns around confused as the crowd begins to boo a bit.~

Hood: Hey what gives I was rocking here!

Smith: Sorry folks we seem to be having technical difficulties.

Hood: WEAK ASS TECH GUYS!

Voice: Hold up, hold up…

~TIO goes to the outside and talks with the fans, in an attempt to reassure them the music will continue until a voice cuts everyone off and the crowd responds in mixed cheers and boos. The camera fades from the tent to the stage, where Disturbed stands there confused as to what is going on when all of a sudden none other than Kanye West walks onto the stage.~

Smith: What the…

Hood: Is that who I think it is?!

Kanye West: David Draiman, Disturbed, ya’ll are doing a great job… I’m happy for you. And I’ma let you finish...

Smith: Why on Earth is Kanye West here?!

Hood: He’s Meyhu’s special guest!

Kanye West: But I gotta take this time to introduce to you… The FUTURE OCW Champion… With the BEST theme song in OCW history!

LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…

~Kanye stats performing “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” as the lights flicker. They dim, and a single green dollar sign appears on the stage. ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu steps out and stops right on the symbol. Wearing black trunks with green and gold boots along with a green and gold vest with his name on it, Meyhu stand there with his arms in the air. A loud ‘BOOM’ is heard and money shoots out from the stage, filling the air before falling back down, seemingly from the sky. Meyhu looks up and watches money shower down on him. He smirks and moves toward Kanye.~

I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven
When I awoke, I spent that on a necklace
I told God I'd be back in a second
Man it's so hard not to act reckless

~Meyhu and Kanye stand next to each other. With his free hand, Kanye raises Meyhu’s arm. He takes a break from the song momentarily to celebrate his ‘The Marvel.’~

Kanye West: The future champ!

~The challenger grins as he begins to make his way off the stage and toward the tent. He enters through the tent flaps to resounding BOOS. He takes a moment to fist bump the one guy in the front row cheering him on before stepping into the pit and approaching the apron. He hops up onto it.~

LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…
LA… LA, LA LA… Then you can’t tell me nothing right?

~Meyhu climbs through the ropes and quickly climbs up onto a turnbuckle facing the fans. He raises his arms once again before hopping down and locking eyes with The Incredible One from across the ring. Meyhu unzips his vest and slides it down his shoulders behind him. He looks around at the fans and searches for someone to throw it to. After a couple of seconds of fans reaching toward the ring, Meyhu shakes his head and drops the vest into the corner behind him with a smirk on his face.~

Smith: Really should have seen that one coming.

Hood: They don’t deserve it! Besides, they’re leaving here with pockets full of cash!

Smith: It isn’t real money.

Hood: It’s still real to me, damn it!

Picture

Main Event - OCW Championship
Iron Man Match
The Incredible One © vs. ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for the MAIN EVENT of the EVENING! This match is an IRON MAN match for the OCW Championship!!! At the end of sixty minutes the individual with the most decisions will be declared the winner and will walk away as the OCW CHAMPION! Introducing first…fighting out of the LIME corner!

~We cut to Meyhu. He takes a bow. The fans boo the shit out of the guy~

Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is a former OCW Savage Champion, he is a former OCW Champion…he is ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu!!!

~More boos. Meyhu looks across the ring at TIO and motions around his waist indicating that the title is coming back where it belongs~

Belvedere: And his opponent…FIGHTING out of the Blue corner!

~The arena goes absolutely CRAZY for TIO~

Belvedere: From Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is a former OCW Paradigm Champion, he is an OCW Hall of Famer…and he is the current…Reigning and DEFENDING OCW CHAMPION…ladies and gentlemen…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!

~The crowd chants “TIO!” TIO nods, acknowledging their support. But he doesn’t get too caught up in the pageantry. He’s focused on the enormous task in front of him~

Smith: And now that all the hype has died down and all the theatrics are behind us…it’s time for the Main Event of the evening to begin.

Hood: You sure nothing else is going to happen? I mean I could go out and get ONE MORE funnel cake

Smith: Hood, for the sake of…well I don’t know if you have any loved ones. But for the sake of your medical bills – I’d advise against that.

Hood: I’ll get one on the way out

Smith: If you haven’t found dietary discipline at this age…well, I’m afraid you never will

~Meyhu and TIO stand in opposite sides of the ring. The four sided scoreboard hanging above the ring displays the number “60:00”. Scruff walks over to Meyhu to check him for any illegal weapons. Meyhu says “I’m good”. Scruff turns and begins to check TIO for any illegal weapons. TIO looks around like “what the hell?” The crowd boos~

Smith: Okay, now how is THAT fair

Hood: Meyhu said he was good…meaning he didn’t have any weapons on him

Smith: So? You still CHECK

Hood: Not with Meyhu. He’s like Jefferson Washington…dude can never tell a lie

~Once finished, Scruff stands back and asks for the OCW Title. TIO folds the belt up, neatly and stares into the gold plate, perhaps looking at his reflection or, maybe he’s just taking in the prestigious belt he’s held for so long. He gives the belt a strong pat before handing it over to Scruff. Scruff stands in the middle of the ring and holds the belt up for everyone to see. The crowd goes wild. “OCW!” is chanted throughout the tent. Meyhu, leaning back, looks over at the belt. He’s never looked more confident. TIO, staring at Meyhu, has never looked more determined. Scruff hands the belt to Belvedere who exits the ring. He takes the belt with him, taking a seat next to the time keeper several feet from ringside, up against one of the walls separating the pit from the fans. He looks over at the timekeeper and nods. The timekeeper RINGS THE BELL! The crowd goes wild and the clock starts to count down~

Smith: And here we go!

Hood: Well at least we’re already under an hour

Smith: Astute observation

~TIO and Meyhu approach one another. TIO begins to circle Meyhu, looking for a place to strike. Meyhu stands upright and extends his hand. TIO elevates from his poised to pounce position and eyeballs the gigantic hand of The Marvel. The fans boo. One overzealous fan is overheard yelling “DON’T FUCKING DO IT.” Meyhu frowns and says something about “brothers” and “Aptitude”~

Smith: It’s a trap!

Hood: What do you mean? Meyhu is just being the bigger man…I mean he already IS the bigger man in every way…but he’s showing TIO what true sportsmanship is all about

Smith: Yea, right

~TIO looks around at the crowd. They are begging him not to do it. Meyhu makes some type of remark which strikes TIO in a challenging manner. Against his better judgment, he extends his hand. As soon as he does Meyhu withdraws his hand, runs it along the side of his hair and turns around, playing to the chorus of boos. TIO looks out and points at his head. He then runs up behind Meyhu and begins clubbing him in the upper back with forearms!! The Marvel staggers into a corner absorbing the flurry of brutal blows. The crowd is going wild!~

Smith: TIO outsmarted Meyhu! He saw the oldest trick in the book coming a mile away!

Hood: That fucking idiot! Meyhu tripped before he could shake TIO’s hand and now TIO is attacking him from behind! What a cheat!

Smith: What are you talking about? Is your blood sugar from all those funnel cakes running dangerously high? Is your vision blurred?

Hood: Blurred with rage over TIO’s actions!

~TIO ceases with the forearm barrage and waist locks Meyhu from behind. Meyhu tries to pull TIO’s hands apart but his grip is too strong. TIO lifts Meyhu up and tosses him into the center of the ring with a release German Suplex!! The crowd goes wild!! Meyhu lands on his head and quickly rolls out of the ring. TIO returns to his feet and watches Meyhu from inside the ropes. Scruff begins a ten count~

Smith: The champ looking sharp!

Hood: Yea well he did have a tune up last week while Meyhu was forced to hang out with AKB backstage

Smith: Oh please…that was a ploy by management to soften TIO up

Hood: Sounds like Smith propaganda to me

~Meyhu reaches a set of steps and begins to ascend. Scruff reaches “SIX” in his count. Meyhu stands upon the apron. TIO heads toward the ropes and sits atop the second rope while lifting up on the top rope providing Meyhu with an easier point of entry. Meyhu places his hands atop his hips and looks at TIO, unamused. The fans laugh at TIO’s mockery. Meyhu grabs the top rope and pushes it toward the ring violently. The act sends the rope into the side of TIO’s neck!! TIO staggers toward the middle of the ring. The Marvel leaps over the top rope and charges toward TIO, taking him down with a running lariat!! TIO lands on his back, hard! The fans start to boo~

56:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 0

Smith: And that is why they call him the Marvel.

Hood: Guy’s a fuckin freak!

Smith: TIO cannot get caught up in Meyhu’s game. He needs to leave the showmanship up to Meyhu…TIO has got to stay focused on what’s central to his success

Hood: What’s that? Paying bills for two unemployed females?

Smith: RUDE

~Meyhu stomps on TIO a few times, keeping him grounded. He bends over and snares TIO by the beard. He aggressively pulls TIO to his feet by the beard and slaps him across the face!! TIO spins around from impact. Meyhu hooks him around the waist looking to return the favor. TIO, however, chops down with both hands, releasing Meyhu’s waist lock. He snapmares Meyhu over!! Meyhu slams bottom first onto the mat…he’s seated up, dazed. TIO runs into the ropes, he bounces off and jumps through the air, grabbing Meyhu by the head and snapping his neck with a Rolling Neck Snap!! Meyhu’s body snaps back as he writhes around in pain. TIO sits up, checking his chest where the clothesline hit from earlier~

Smith: Tremendously executed move…TIO might be the best in ring technician we’ve had in OCW history

Hood: You think he was better than Syren?

Smith: Look…I’m not dismissing Syren…he was great…but a technician? C’mon

Hood: I don’t know, I saw him do a bodyslam once

~TIO gets to his feet. Meyhu is on one knee, rubbing the back of his neck. TIO charges forward and slams a boot into the middle of Meyhu’s back!! The Marvel arches his back in pain! TIO grabs Meyhu by the ear and yanks him to his feet. He whips him across the ring, into the ropes. Meyhu bounces off and TIO throws a clothesline. Meyhu ducks!! Meyhu hits the ropes, bouncing off. TIO goes for a leap frog…Meyhu catches TIO!! Meyhu spins around and drops TIO with a spinning spinebuster!! This takes some of the wind out of the crowd’s proverbial sails~

Smith: A mistimed jump by TIO resulted in another shift in momentum

Hood: I like to think of it as The Marvel just deciding he didn’t want TIO’s crotch flying above his head

Smith: Whatever works for you, Hood. It has been a back and forth match thus far…neither man with an advantage.

Hood: That’s because the coffee hasn’t kicked in for Meyhu yet. Once he wakes up…GAME OVER

~The Marvel, on his knees, wipes his hands in arrogant fashion. He gets to his feet and kicks TIO in between his shoulder blades! TIO’s shoulders rise up due to the impact. Meyhu reaches down once again and, just like before, grabs TIO by the beard, yanking him to his feet. He bullies him into a corner and starts to throw hard hitting side elbows into the side of TIO’s head. Meyhu grabs hold of TIO’s beard and he yanks TIO out of the corner, flinging him through the air, toward the center of the ring!! TIO spins around before landing face first on the mat!! He holds his face in pain. The fans boo. Meyhu looks around. He climbs to the second buckle and extends his arms. The fans go from boo to BOOOOOO!!!~

52:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 0

Smith: Disgusting…disrespectful…dis…dis

Hood: DISMANTLING

Smith: Not the word I was looking for

Hood: Yea well you fucked up so I took charge

~Meyhu drops back down to the mat and saunters over toward TIO. TIO remains facing the canvas, on both knees. Meyhu throws a soccer style kick into TIO’s ribs! TIO flips onto his back. Meyhu reaches down, grabbing TIO’s beard a third time…again he yanks TIO to his feet. He hoists TIO up for a body slam. He shakes his head ‘no’ and lifts TIO up over his shoulder. He backs into a corner, looking to deliver a running powerslam. He starts to take off…as he does, TIO slips out form the back, locks Meyhu’s head and in one seamless motion counters with an Inverted DDT!!! The crowd leaps to their feet!! Again Meyhu rolls over, grabbing at the back of his neck. TIO sits up and rests against the bottom buckle~

Smith: Fairly fast pace thus far…and we’re barely ten minutes in!

Hood: Is TIO trying to break the Marvel’s neck? What’s the fucking deal?

Smith: Well a weakened neck would set up nicely for This Darn Incredible!

Hood: This Darn? He really is pussy whipped, isn’t he

Smith: Well not exactly darn but you know me…I’m not getting my mouth washed out with soap later this evening

Hood: You’re such a fuckin weirdo

~TIO reaches up, snaring the middle rope and yanks his body up to a standing position. He remains in the corner, poised. Meyhu is on all fours. He gets to his feet, doubled over. TIO sprints forward, he grabs Meyhu by the head and drops him with a running Swinging Neck breaker!! Meyhu hits the mat again…he grabs his neck – again! He rolls out of the ring and falls to the dirt. He’s on all fours pounding his right fist into the ground. A ‘TIO” chant begins to fill the tent and filter out into the Nebraskan night sky~

Smith: That neck of Meyhu has taken a beating early on. I think we’re starting to see a front runner and his name is…Incredible

Hood: Yea well front runners tend to burn out. Guy is running around the ring like a kid after too much soda. He’ll crash soon

Smith: You don’t think he’s been training for this match? You don’t think he knows what he’s doing?

Hood: No, I don’t. He’s been too busy taking his daughter to Taylor Swift concerts while watching shitty ass Michelle McCarthy movies with his wife. Guy is totally Unprepared

~Meyhu reaches his feet on the outside, holding the back of his neck. The look on his face can best be described as – unhappy. TIO sprints across the ring toward Meyhu. He slides under the bottom rope and kicks Meyhu in the chest!! Meyhu flies backward, landing ass first into the dirt. TIO, on his feet, rushes forward and stomps Meyhu in the sternum before he can get back up. He picks TIO up and rushes him toward the ring, tossing him back inside under the bottom rope. TIO steps up onto the apron and through the ropes. He reaches down for Meyhu…but Meyhu rolls him up in a small package!!! Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!!

Smith: Meyhu nearly broke the ice with that unforeseen pin attempt!

Hood: Guy is so fucking good…even when you’re kicking his ass he still nearly gets the pin

Smith: He is one of the best we’ve ever seen…there’s no denying that

~TIO kicks out but (pardon the pun) incredibly manages to hold onto Meyhu’s head! TIO rolls over and gets his feet with tremendous quickness and precision. He hoists Meyhu up for a suplex! The crowd goes wild upon observing the technical skill and power of the OCW Champion. He holds Meyhu up in the air for as long as his arms will allow. One…Two…Three…Four….Five…Six…his arms shake…SEVEN…they nearly break…EIGHT…he capitulates and drops Meyhu with a Brainbuster!! The crowd claps and cheers! TIO remains on his back, covered in sweat, breathing heavily. Meyhu, also on his back, appears to be unconscious~

Smith: A pin right here might get TIO the lead!

Hood: Son of a bitch! How did he hold Meyhu up for that long? The shit is this sorcery?

Smith: Because he’s The Incredible One!!

~TIO rolls over and tries to cover Meyhu. The Marvel’s leg, however, is under the bottom rope. Scruff points it out and TIO nods, accepting the rule. He gets to his feet and grabs Meyhu by the arm, dragging him into the center of the ring. TIO positions himself near Meyhu’s legs and goes for a Sharpshooter! Meyhu, realizing what’s going on, kicks his legs, trying to get TIO away. Once it becomes obvious The Sharpshooter isn’t a possibility, TIO places Meyhu’s legs under his arms and he falls backwards with a catapult! Meyhu flies toward the corner but manages to catch himself before he slams into any of the buckles. TIO returns to his feet and charges in. Meyhu throws a mule kick into TIO’s gut!! TIO staggers back. Meyhu turns around and moves with great purpose toward the OCW Champ. He reaches out for something but TIO snares Meyhu’s arm and locks in an abdominal stretch!!! Meyhu looks to be in extreme discomfort as TIO really wrenches the move in deep~

48:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 0

Smith: Nice move by TIO to stifle The Marvel’s momentum

Hood: A fucking abdominal stretch!? Come on, man!

Smith: It’s perfectly acceptable wrestling, Hood

Hood: Yea but after everything we’ve seen tonight…this…this is like trying to get off on one man, one woman – missionary

Smith: Okay, that’s enough

~TIO starts to grind his elbow into the rib cage of Meyhu. The Marvel grimaces, withholding any sort of yell or scream. He looks around, attempting to figure out a way out of this painful predicament. Finally, he realizes he’s The Marvel! He manages to shifts some weight firmly into his base and he tosses TIO over with a hip toss! TIO hits the mat and tries to retain wrist control but Meyhu kicks his arm away. Meyhu drops an elbow…but TIO moves! Meyhu’s elbow spikes against the mat…he grabs it, quickly. TIO crawls over and hooks a side headlock onto Meyhu~

Smith: TIO has a counter for every Meyhu counter! He’s simply outwrestling the Marvel at this juncture

Hood: What is this shit? Who told TIO he could compete with Meyhu?

Smith: He knows it, deep down…he knows he’s every bit as good as Meyhu – perhaps even better!

Hood: Okay, that’s straight blasphemy!

~Meyhu works his elbow in and out. It appears to be fine, just stunned – think funny bone. Meyhu quickly transitions to one knee. TIO holds onto the head lock. Meyhu powers up to his feet. TIO hops onto Meyhu’s back, keeping the pressure as tight as he can. Meyhu rushes backward and SQUASHES TIO into the corner!! TIO lets go of the hold. Meyhu paces forward, rubbing his neck. TIO rushes back toward Meyhu, hopping on his back once again and reapplying the headlock! Meyhu, frustrated, stumbled backward again…this time he loses his balance and both men crash awkwardly into the corner with the back of TIO’s head slamming into the bottom buckle!! Meyhu, mostly unharmed, sits up, looking over his shoulder at TIO who appears to be in considerable discomfort~

Smith: Ouch…that did not look good

Hood: That’s what he gets for attempting these bitch ass moves…WEAK ASS MOVES

Smith: It’s an hour match…they can’t sprint the entire time

Hood: He was doing that early on…you think maybe he’s already tired? I hope so!

~Meyhu grabs TIO by the beard and yanks him out of the corner. He gets TIO to his feet and hooks him around the waist. With tremendous ease he lifts TIO up and drops him to the mat with a Gut Wrench Suplex!! Meyhu then places his foot atop TIO’s chest and poses for the crowd. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

Kick Out!

Smith: What a jerk

Hood: Hey, he was just testing the waters

Smith: No, he was not. He was being a marvel….yea…a marvelous jerk!

44:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 0

~Upon kicking out, TIO rolls onto all fours. Arrogantly, Meyhu kicks TIO in the side of the head! TIO falls face first onto the mat. Meyhu grabs him by the hair and pulls him to his feet. He drills a knee into TIO’s gut. He lifts TIO in the air, over his head for an Alabama Slam!! TIO, though, slides down Meyhu’s back for a Sunset Flip!! But, instead of holding for the pin he pops to his feet and quickly applies the Sharpshooter!! The crowd goes wild…TIO turns Meyhu over and pulls back, curving Meyhu’s back at a very painful degree~

Smith: Wow!! What a transition!! TIO could get a submission right here!

Hood: WEAK ASS…you hear me…WEAK ASS

Smith: You lack taste in everything, do you know that?

Hood: You’re wrong there…I have a tremendous sweet tooth!

Smith: Well…given your caloric intake this evening, I can’t argue that point

~Meyhu reaches for the ropes. He’s close to snaring them. His fingers graze along the tethered lining. TIO stands and drags Meyhu into the center of the ring! The fans go wild! Meyhu pulls at his hair…he’s in complete discomfort. He slides his hands along the mat trying to find something to help break the hold. The fans start chanting “TAP!”~

Smith: I think he’s going to tap! The first pinfall to the Champ!

Hood: Come on, Meyhu! Do something! You’re better than this!

Smith: I don’t think he is, Hood. I think he’s going to succumb…and, you know what, that might actually be the smart play. The longer he stays in this…the more damage he will suffer which will hamper him throughout the next forty plus minutes

Hood: Fuck off with that shit. The Marvel is NOT losing a fall this entire match…DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

~Meyhu’s hand flattens out, inches above the mat. Is he about to tap out? His hand shakes…he’s about to give in…then he stops! TIO wrenches back, trying as hard as he can to force the tap out. Meyhu reaches behind with his long arm and grabs TIO’s beard! TIO yells! The fans boo. Meyhu jerks at the beard as hard as he can…TIO’s head turns in correspondence…his neck suffers some trauma. TIO is forced to relinquish the hold!! The fans are furious. Meyhu lets go of TIO’s beard…he crawls into a corner where he sits upright, stabilizing his back against the bottom buckle. TIO rubs his beard and stretches his neck out, while seated~

Smith: Can we STOP grabbing at the man’s beard? I mean, c’mon!

Hood: Hey, if he doesn’t like it, he could shave.

Smith: It’s just dirty, that’s all

Hood: Is it, really? I mean, he didn’t get DQ’d…did he?

Smith: No, he did not

~TIO returns to his feet and marches forward. Meyhu watches while seated in the corner. He throws a kick at one of TIO’s knees – the left one. TIO staggers back. Meyhu leaps to his feet…he charges at TIO with another lariat. TIO ducks…he grabs Meyhu by the head while The Marvel us moving past him and drops him with a neckbreaker!! Meyhu, again, grabs at the already vulnerable neck~

Smith: Smart…very smart…go back to the already weakened body part

Hood: Total Canadian move

Smith: Smart? Yea, I’d agree Canadians are smart

Hood: Smart is the LAST thing I’d say about people who worship a fucking leaf

Smith: They don’t worship it

~TIO stays on the hunt. He pulls Meyhu up and immediately applies a cravat! Meyhu winces. TIO applies force and torque to the move. Meyhu grunts and grimaces. Repeatedly TIO torques the already twisted hold. Meyhu locks his hands…he throws an elbow into TIO’s sternum. He does another and another…TIO’s cravat weakens. Meyhu finally loosens the hold enough allowing some maneuverability. He bends over and hoists TIO up!! TIO breaks the hold trying to get down. Meyhu has him up for another attempt at the Alabama Slam!! TIO elbows Meyhu in the side of the head! Meyhu drops TIO. TIO lands on the mat next to Meyhu. The Marvel reaches out and in less than a second has TIO hooked and drops him with the EGO TRIP!!! The crowd reacts with shock!!! TIO remains face down on the mat. Meyhu holds onto his neck, rubbing the muscles, trying to get it working semi-pain free~

40:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 0

Smith: The Ego Trip!!! That was out of nowhere!

Hood: Fuck yea it was…he’s the man!

Smith: If he can overcome his discomfort and attempt a pin I think he’ll take the lead

Hood: Oh, don’t worry…he’ll probably pin TIO two or three times off that one move

Smith: I doubt that

~Meyhu, realizing the opportunity, says ‘fuck the neck’ and crawls over, rolling TIO onto his back. He makes the cover. Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!!

Smith: TIO kicked out!! What heart! What guts! What a champion!

Hood: It was probably a spasm. Pin him again Meyhu!

Smith: We are still scoreless here after twenty minutes! You have to hand it to both men, they are both putting up one hell of a fight

Hood: Yea but one man is putting up a better fight and I think we can all agree on who that guy is

Smith: No comment

~Meyhu gets to his knees and looks down at TIO, who is laying on his side, facing away from The Marvel. Meyhu unleashes a flurry of overreaching right hands into the side of TIO’s head! The impact causes TIO’s head to bounce uncontrollably off the canvas. After seven vicious strikes, Meyhu reaches his feet and looks down upon the OCW Champion. He raises his right hand, breathing heavily, drenched with sweat. The fans boo yet another act of arrogance~

Smith: I realize he just hit Ego Trip but he’s yet to score a pin. He might want to check his EGO at the door

Hood: Wow, nice one…take you all week to script that one out?

Smith: No, I thought of it right on the spot thankyouverymuch

Hood: Incredible…PUN INTENEDED

~The Marvel turns his attention back to TIO. He yanks TIO to his feet, by the beard, and shoves him into a corner. TIO slams into the buckles, back first. Meyhu charges in, drilling a knee into TIO’s gut. TIO doubles over. Meyhu hooks him around the waist…drags him out of the corner, lifts him up and drops him with a powerbomb!!! TIO SLAMS into the mat…the entire ring shakes from impact. Meyhu walks around the OCW champion’s body while wiping his hands against each other~

Smith: Brutal powerbomb…he tossed TIO down like he wanted to break his back!

Hood: He probably did. Hard to kick out with a broken back, ya know

Smith: Well, yes, that would complicate matters considerably

~Meyhu moves with sudden purpose. He grabs TIO by the arm, gaining wrist control and yanks him to his feet. TIO is barely able to stand. Meyhu DRILLS the champion with a short arm clothesline!! The Marvel maintains wrist control…TIO falls to one knee. Meyhu forces TIO back to his feet and hits him with ANOTHER short arm clothesline!! This time TIO falls to both knees. Again Meyhu yanks TIO to his feet and delivers the third and STRONGEST short arm clothesline of the three, turning TIO inside out as he lands on the mat, motionless. Meyhu’s momentum takes him to the ropes where he leans over the top rope, catching his breath~

Smith: We’re nearing the halfway point and you can see the fatigue of this match beginning to take its toll, on both men!

Hood: Yea but one handles it better than the other

Smith: How do you figure?

Hood: Well, one guy is doing moves…the other is napping on the fucking mat

Smith: He’s not napping!

~Meyhu goes back after TIO, who remains on his back, staring up at the four way scoreboard hanging above the ring. The Marvel scoops TIO up and hoists him over his shoulder in a reverse powerslam position. He backs into a corner, ready to charge. TIO hooks his heels under the top rope. Meyhu takes off but TIO slides off Meyhu’s back!! TIO lands hard on the mat! The Marvel stops and turns around, seeing TIO in the corner, on his back. TIO struggles getting his feet free from the top rope and manages to roll over and get to his feet. He charges, sloppily at Meyhu…Meyhu charges back and drills TIO with Hubris!!! TIO falls frontward, into Meyhu’s grasp. Meyhu drops him with another EGO TRIP!!! The crowd boos!! Meyhu flips TIO over and he goes for the pin~

1!

2!

3!!!

~The boos increase. Meyhu sits up, breathing heavily – but smiling. He looks over at TIO and shoves him away, defiantly. The Marvel stands and plays to the crowd. They continue their booing. He puts his hand to his ear and waves his hand in the air asking them to get louder. BOOOOO!!! The entire arena feels like it’s shaking! Meyhu laughs and claps…he finds a corner to rest in, taking a seat on the middle buckle and wiping sweat from his forehead~

36:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 1

Smith: Ugh…and now The Marvel has the lead

Hood: It was only a matter of time…I mean, to be honest, I’m surprised it took this long. TIO should be commended for last twenty-four minutes without being pinned, submitted or knocked the fuck out

Smith: I’ve got a sick feeling about this match now. Meyhu is in total control

Hood: Talent, Smith. Always go with the TALENT

~TIO begins to stir. Meyhu watches him from his seated position in the corner. TIO rolls over and pushes up onto all fours. He displays a faraway stare while looking into the mat, obviously distanced from his typical demeanor. Meyhu stands upright…measures TIO up, charges in and PUNTS TIO right in the side of the head!! TIO flops over onto his back, unconscious. The crowd continues to boo while Meyhu simply smiles, enjoying the moment~

Smith: He doesn’t have to rub it in like that!

Hood: What do you mean RUB IT IN…he’s trying to win!

Smith: Well, he could go for a pin

Hood: In due time, Smith. He’s letting the demise of TIO percolate into the minds of these idiotic fans…that’s the term, right?

Smith: It fits, sure

~Meyhu goes back to work, grabbing TIO by the beard and pulling him to his feet. He steps back, leaving TIO standing under his owner power. TIO wobbles…his eyes half open. Meyhu reaches back and SMACKS TIO across the face with a backhand! TIO spins around! The fans booo!! Meyhu catches TIO in a Sleeper Hold!! He rag dolls TIO around while laughing. It’s reminiscent of a schoolyard bully picking on someone half their size. He continues to rag doll TIO before tossing him recklessly to the mat. He commands Scruff to check TIO and see if he’s unconscious. Scruff grabs TIO’s arm and lifts it up…it falls to the mat~

Smith: If his hand hits the mat two more times he will be announced as unconscious which means Meyhu will go up 2-0

Hood: What if he’s dead?

Smith: He’s not dead! His chest is clearly heaving up and down!

Hood: Could be an alien inside his body

Smith: There is no alien inside his body

Hood: I don’t know, I saw this tv show with this blue thing that had a giant tale…I think it was an alien and it…

Smith: WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS

~TIO’s hand hits a SECOND time! The crowd grows anxious. Meyhu, again, takes a seat in the corner, watching on. The fans chant “TIO!” hoping he will wake up. Scruff drops TIO’s hand the third time and it…STAYS UP!! The crowd goes wild. Meyhu shakes his head and laughs. He stands and heads over toward TIO. He grabs Scruff and pushes him out of the way. Scruff yells at Meyhu, giving him a warning~

Smith: He’d better be careful…a DQ would give TIO a pinfall

Hood: That would be a fucked up way to get a pinfall…I mean, what are we, Sissified Championship Wrestling?

Smith: It’s the rules!

~Meyhu stands and marches toward TIO. TIO is seated up, coughing, barely aware of what’s going on. Meyhu grabs him by the hair and drags him into a corner. He stands TIO upright and blasts him with more overreaching right hands!! TIO’s head bounces hither and yon (not really, but it’s getting pummeled in all directions)! Meyhu slaps TIO across the face. He drags TIO out of the corner, hoists him up in a Gorilla Press Slam position and starts to press TIO~

Smith: What strength by the former champion!

Hood: He truly is a marvel!

Smith: But, you have to wonder how much energy he’s expending by doing this. We still have almost thirty-two minutes left!

Hood: He’s fucking fine, man…stop being such a bitch

~Meyhu presses TIO seven times…he goes for an eighth but it’s obvious his arms are fatigued, as are his legs. So, he transitions the eighth press slam into a powerslam onto the mat!! TIO is flattened out while Meyhu remains on his knees, hands resting right above the knee cap, head lowered…he breathes heavily, trying to suck some oxygen back into his lungs~

32:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 1

Smith: I think the Marvel is wearing down.

Hood: Just catching his second wind, NOTHING to worry about…but since we’re pointing shit out…how about that fucking bearded corpse lying next to him?

Smith: Touché

Hood: I agree, he does need TO SHAVE

~The Marvel returns to his feet. He snares TIO by the beard yet again and tosses him into the nearest corner. TIO stumbles while running, nearly falling to the mat. Meyhu charges in, soars through the air and hits a HUGE splash into the corner! He takes several steps back allowing TIO to stumble forward. Meyhu ducks his head and tosses TIO high into the air with a back body drop!! TIO slams into the mat yet again. After lifting TIO in the air, Meyhu reaches up for his neck, feeling a bit of pain. He massages his neck for a moment before turning that pain into anger – anger focused on TIO. He proceeds to stomp away at the vulnerable body of TIO. The fans begin a ‘TIO’ chant trying to wake their hero and champion up~

Smith: The fans are sick of seeing Meyhu dominate the champion…they are imploring TIO to rise up and get back in this!

Hood: Yea, too bad they can’t raise the dead

Smith: Again, he’s not dead!

Hood: He is to me

~Meyhu finishes working whatever cramp/pain there was affecting his neck. He goes back after TIO. He bends over to grab TIO by the beard. TIO, suddenly, reaches up and attempts to lock Meyhu in a Triangle!! The crowd goes wild!! Meyhu tries fighting out of it…preventing it from being locked in fully. He throws a few punches at TIO’s head. TIO absorbs them but holds on…he’s almost got it locked in. Meyhu, though, powers up, showing his tremendous strength…he lifts TIO up into the air and tosses him back to the mat with another powerbomb!! TIO releases the hold and flattens out on the mat. The crowd’s hopes are squashed…they quiet back down. Meyhu stumbles back into the ropes, leaning against them for support while coughing~

Smith: Dang it! Dang it!

Hood: He’s just too good, Smith. Too good

Smith: There is no denying his talent

Hood: And there’s no denying how much higher his talent level is than TIO’s!

Smith: That is certainly up for debate

~Meyhu heads back over to TIO and drops a couple of well placed elbows across the champion’s throat. He remains on the mat after the second and begins to choke TIO! Scruff begins to administer a count. He gets up to four. Meyhu releases the choke. The Marvel remains seated for a moment, catching his breath. He gets back to his feet and yanks TIO up by the hair. He shoots TIO into the ropes…TIO bounces off…Meyhu throws HUBRIS…TIO ducks and stops on a dime. Meyhu turns around. TIO throws a kick…Meyhu blocks it and wraps his hand around TIO’s throat. TIO chops the arm away. He throws a flying knee….Meyhu dodges the knee! TIO stumbles forward and turns around only to be met with the second HUBRIS of the evening!!! He stumbles back and falls through the ropes, landing on the apron. The fans boooo~

Smith: He’s trying…he’s fighting…you have to give him that

Hood: Hey, I’m willing to give him a ribbon for second place

Smith: I’m sure you are

Hood: But, you know, like a small ribbon. Probably a lime green one

~Meyhu moves with more urgency than we’ve seen in the past several minutes. TIO seems to be creeping back into the match – somehow. Meyhu reaches through the ropes and grabs TIO by the hair. He pulls TIO up, onto his feet…he stands upon the apron. Meyhu hooks TIO and he suplexes him back into the ring!! TIO hits hard, arching his back with pain. Meyhu gets back to his feet…he yanks TIO up…hooks him and swiftly drills him into the mat with another Ego Trip!!! The crowd booos! They yell for TIO to kick out! Meyhu makes the cover~

1!

2!

3!!!!

Smith: NO! The Marvel is now up 2-0! That might be too much…even for someone as talented as The Incredible One

Hood: This match was over the minute it was signed. I don’t know why you’re acting all shocked

~Meyhu returns to his feet, slowly. He’s drenched. The Midwestern heat has filled the tent turning it into something of a colorful furnace – in spite of the sun setting. Meyhu takes a seat on the middle buckle and watches droplets of sweat fall from head onto the mat. He raises one arm up, indicating victory. The crowd chants “FUCK YOU, MEYHU!” He chuckles while continuing to regain some stamina~

28:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 2

Smith: Well, we’re officially over halfway through the Iron Man match and the former champion has what some might call a commanding lead

Hood: No shit…I mean he’s gotta pin Meyhu TWICE in twenty eight minutes just to tie the mother fucker? You know that ain’t happening

Smith: Stranger things have happened

Hood: Yes, I know…I’ve seen both seasons. Good shit

~Upon looking up, Meyhu is somewhat surprised to see TIO crawling toward the ropes. TIO reaches up, grabbing the bottom rope. His arms are shaking from fatigue. He grabs the second rope, getting to his knees. He continues to climb up. Meyhu stands. TIO reaches his feet and turns around. Meyhu charges forward with a clothesline…he DRILLS TIO in the chest sending TIO over the top rope and tumbling into the dirt below!! Scruff rushes over and looks down…TIO is lying on his back, staring upward. Meyhu yells at Scruff to being a count. Scruff yells ONE~

Smith: Oh no! If TIO gets counted out that’s ANOTHER victory for Meyhu…that’d put him up three to zero which, in this man’s humble opinion, would be too much

Hood: Finally coming around, I see

Smith: I wouldn’t say that…just being pragmatic. Given the time and the tone of this match…three pinfalls feels like twenty

Hood: Feels like twenty-five, if you ask me

~Scruff reaches FOUR! The fans stomp their feet and yell encouragement toward the ring. TIO begins to stir. Scruff yells FIVE! Meyhu takes another seat, near the side of the ring where TIO was deposited. He keeps an eye on the happenings. Scruff yells SIX! TIO is on his knees, gasping for air. Scruff yells SEVEN!! The crowd yells for TIO to get into the ring. TIO gets to one foot but FALLS back to the ground! The crowd shrieks with panic. Scruff yells EIGHT!~

Smith: He’s going to be counted out! No!!

Hood: The sooner you accept what’s about to happen the happier you’ll be

Smith: I accept nothing…aside from well wishes

Hood: Well you’re not getting that shit from me

~Scruff yells NINE! The tent is electric with nervous energy. TIO reaches up for the apron. He gets to his knees. Scruff is about to throw up ten fingers…TIO DIVES in under the bottom rope just in time!! The crowd goes wild. Meyhu looks around, laughing at the fans and their stupidity. He stands up, walks over and stomps the back of TIO’s head. The cheers are instantly crushed~

Smith: Now, c’mon…was that really necessary?

Hood: He’s learning the guy something…stay down, take the count out! You can’t win…why risk further injury. In fact, I think we should just call this fucking match right now

Smith: You know that’s not going to happen

Hood: Hmm, okay…well then I guess we’re about to see the first on screen OCW death since…2014?

Smith: Sounds about right

~Meyhu snares TIO by the back of the hair and yanks him to his feet. He hooks TIO under his arm for what appears to be an Inverted DDT attempt. Instead of dropping TIO to the mat…he hoists TIO into the air for an inverted suplex!! He holds TIO in the air…the strength of the marvel is on display. It’s obvious this man is beyond most. However, it’s been over thirty minutes…so his core begins to wane. He starts TIO’s descent after a few seconds…unable to match what TIO did earlier…and he drops TIO with a cutter!!! TIO slams into the mat and flips over. Meyhu crawls over and makes the cover~

1!

2!

Shoulder Up!!

Smith: Wow! After all of this…after all that punishment…he can still kick out…incredible!

Hood: Big deal…so his shoulder spasmed off the mat…woo fucking hoo

Smith: He’s not dead yet, Hood. It’s still 2-0!

Hood: Keep holding onto that rope, Smith…all the way until it pulls you into the unending abyss

~Meyhu sits up. He looks at Scruff and displays three fingers. Scruff responds with two. Meyhu’s shoulders slump. He looks over at TIO, who is on his back. Meyhu pie faces the side of TIO’s head, shoving him away. TIO rolls over onto his front. Meyhu gets to his feet and paces around. He continues to labor for breath. TIO starts to crawl toward Meyhu’s feet. Meyhu looks down, curiously. TIO grabs at Meyhu’s boots, looking up at The Marvel with a fighter’s desperation. Meyhu looks down, arrogantly…waiting to see what TIO is going to do~

24:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 2

Smith: You can sense it now…we’re thirty-six minutes in and both wrestlers are feeling the stress, the fatigue and…the pressure

Hood: One considerably more than the other

Smith: I still maintain that two is the magic number. As long as it’s only two, TIO has a shot

Hood: You serious? The guy is moving slower than a paraplegic without a wheelchair. He’s fucked!

~TIO continues to crawl up. He grabs at Meyhu’s knee pads. The Marvel looks around at the crowd yelling, “This is YOUR champion? What a JOKE!” Meyhu, tired of having a grown man’s slimy, sweaty body rubbing against his, snares TIO by the beard and yanks him to his feet. He hooks TIO for Ego Trip! He looks right into the camera. TIO throws an elbow! The crowd goes wild! TIO throws another!! Meyhu’s body shakes and staggers…he let’s go! TIO, now free, sways on his feet, about to topple over. He regains gravitational equanimity and takes off toward the ropes…he bounces off and leaps through the air at Meyhu with a crossbody. Meyhu catches TIO!!! He nearly drops TIO after catching him…Meyhu staggers back against the ropes…he falls through with TIO in his arms! Both men spill to the outside with the crowd looking on with high anxiety~

Smith: What a tumble! This could be the opening for TIO to get back in it!

Hood: So that’s your hope…that Meyhu will fall down and hurt himself creating an opening for a TIO comeback?

Smith: Not necessarily…I’m just looking for some light…is that so wrong?

Hood: Sounds like you’re in the Illuminati!

~Scruff looks down and begins a count. He yells out ONE! Meyhu tries to sit up but TIO is in his lap. He shoves TIO away. TIO rolls off Meyhu – his body is caked with dirt. Meyhu sits up, also caked in dirt. He tries brushing most of it away. Scruff yells out TWO! Meyhu pays it little mind. Meyhu also fails to throw any attention TIO’s way. TIO kicks his legs out and he grabs Meyhu’s right arm! The crowd goes wild! Meyhu tries fighting TIO off!! TIO leans back and tries to fully extend the arm for a very dangerous armbar! Meyhu does everything he can to keep TIO from fully extending the hold~

Smith: Here we go!!

Hood: Son of a bitch...how is that legal?

Smith: It just is

Hood: Wow, you really cleared that one up

~TIO just about has the arm stretched out. Meyhu, realizing he’s about to suffer a severe injury, rolls over and uses his left arm to claw at the eyes of The OCW Champion! TIO yells out and has to make a quick decision…Meyhu’s arm or his eye. In a fine example of pragmatism, TIO relinquishes the hold. Meyhu rolls away, holding his arm and working out the pain. Scruff yells SIX!~

Smith: Does that man have no couth? No ethics? NO MORALITY?

Hood: He may not…the beard is probably designed to hide his true, evil intentions

Smith: I’m speaking about Meyhu! He tried to rip TIO’s eye out!

Hood: He did not! He saw something stuck in TIO’s beard and was trying to remove it for him…TIO just spazzed out!

~Meyhu continues working on his slightly damaged arm. In the background we see TIO, holding one eye, slide into the ring. Scruff yells EIGHT!~

Smith: The Marvel doesn’t realize TIO is back in the ring…he’s going to get counted out!

Hood: DUDE…GET IN THE FUCKING RING

~The crowd starts to buzz with anticipation. Meyhu looks around, finding this vibe suspicious. Scruff yells NINE! He looks over and sees TIO in the ring. Meyhu stumbles to his feet. Scruff holds out ten fingers and is about to throw them into the air…but Meyhu makes it in just in time!! The crowd sits down, disappointed~

Smith: Dang it! Nothing is going TIO’s way tonight!

Hood: I agree, it’s been a great evening so far

~TIO, for the first time in forever, goes to initiate some offense. He snares Meyhu by the arm he had barred earlier. He whips him into the ropes…but…Meyhu reverses!! He reverses the Irish whip right into an EGO TRIP!!! TIO flattens out, front first. An increasingly tired Meyhu rolls TIO over and goes for the pin~

1!

2!

3!!!

Smith: NO!!!

Hood: GAME OVER

Smith: I need a drink. Can somebody get me a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri?

Hood: Oh for fuck’s sake

~The wind has been taken completely out of the crowd. Some in the crowd get up and begin to leave…they are probably Canadian. A thunderous “FUCK YOU MEYHU” chant rains down on the ring. Meyhu sits up after his third pinfall and backslides against the ropes, resting up against them. He takes it all in and smiles. With his hands he mimes the OCW Title around his waist once again~

Smith: This crowd…this pro TIO crowd has given up…some are leaving, others are expressing their displeasure. This has gotten ugly

Hood: It was only a matter of time, Smith. TIO may be Incredible…but he is no Marvel

Smith: Sadly…on this evening, it appears as though you are correct

~Meyhu watches the dejected fans file out of the tent. He waves bye at them. We see them filtering out into the fairgrounds, heading for their cars. Fans on the outside spot them leaving and decide to rush in, taking their seats. This is a considerably rowdier bunch. Meyhu returns to his feet and looks down at TIO, wondering if he should do anything else. He shrugs and lifts TIO up. He hoists TIO on his back, looking for the Alabama Slam! He turns and looks at the crowd from one side of the ring…he then poses for the other side…he repeats this process twice more to hit all four sides. Meyhu prepares to slam TIO into the ring…TIO, however, throws a punch from behind Meyhu, in between The Marvel’s legs! Scruff is obstructed, facing Meyhu’s front side!!! Meyhu’s knees buckle! He doubles over! TIO lands on his feet…he hooks Meyhu’s head between his legs, locks his arms around The Marvel’s waist…lifts him up and drops him with a Piledriver!!! The crowd explodes!!! Scruff looks on in shock! Meyhu grabs his neck! TIO remains on his back…his chest rises and falls rapidly~

20:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 3

Smith: Yes! Can he do it? Is there still hope?

Hood: Too little, too late.

Smith: Can TIO make those departing fans sorry?

~Meyhu gets to his feet and leans into a corner, holding his neck. He punches the top buckle out of an amalgamation of pain and frustration. He looks over at TIO who is beginning to stir. He scowls. The Marvel seems eager to inflict pain on The OCW Champion. TIO reaches his knees. Meyhu snares TIO by the beard. TIO reaches up, grabbing the back of Meyhu’s head…he hits him with a Jawbreaker!!! Meyhu stumbles back, into the ropes…he staggers forward. TIO gets to his feet and he jumps into the air smacking Meyhu in the face with a flying knee!!! Meyhu falls backward, into the ropes! He remains in the ring but quickly rolls underneath the bottom rope to rest on the apron. A “TIO” chant reverberates throughout the tent. The stands are suddenly full again…this time with a bunch of drunk, rowdy outsiders! TIO bends over, hands on his hips, gasping for air…but the cheers seem to force new life into his fatigued existence. He looks out, into the crowd…hope is in his eyes…it’s the first sign of it that we’ve seen in what feels like days~

Smith: He’s got some momentum…FINALLY…but can he come all the way back?

Hood: You keep asking the same fucking question…the answer isn’t going to change, Smith.

Smith: We’ve seen stranger things, Hood

Hood: True…Sean Fuller wrestled here once, so I guess that’s accurate

~TIO starts to fire up. Meyhu gets to his knees on the apron. He looks through them at a rejuvenated TIO. The Marvel struggles to his feet. His hair is soaked. His body is a mishmash of dirt and sweat. His mouth is agape. He’s totally exhausted. But, he’s the fucking Marvel. He steps through the ropes to squash this mounting comeback. He throws an overreaching right hand at TIO…but TIO blocks it! The crowd erupts! TIO drills Meyhu in the head…he drills him again and again and again…The Marvel is reeling! The crowd is going wild!! Meyhu leans against the ropes. TIO reaches back and SMACKS Meyhu in the chest with a knife edged chop!! The crowd lets out a resounding “WOOOO!” TIO holds his hand up and motions for the crowd to quiet…they do…he rears back and thrusts forward with everything he’s got for the loudest fucking chop you’ve ever heard! The crowd yells “FUCK YES!” Meyhu staggers forward, holding his chest in pain~

Smith: Yes! Teach that man a lesson…kick his butt!

Hood: He’s going to scar The Marvel’s chest! Just because you’re a LOSER, TIO doesn’t mean you have to go and scar up the features of the true FACE of OCW!

Smith: He’s trying to win, Hood

Hood: Yea? Well he should have tried doing that earlier in the match

~TIO turns around, facing a wincing Marvel. We see red welts on Meyhu’s chest. TIO throws a head butt into the chest of Meyhu!! The Marvel staggers into a corner. TIO raises an open hand and SLAPS the absolute SHIT out of Meyhu’s chest! The crowd is fucking giddy…they are jumping up and down. TIO hoists Meyhu up onto the top turnbuckle. He climbs to the second buckle…he hooks Meyhu for a Suplex. He looks around at the crowd…they are urging him to go higher…he ascends to the top buckle. He establishes his base. He begins to hoist Meyhu up…his legs start to buckle…the fans pause with fright. TIO extends his foot against the ring post for increased stability and is able to get The Marvel up and over and crashing down into the ring with a Superplex!!! The crowd chants “YES! YES!” Both men are laid out, gasping for air~

16:00
TIO – 0 Meyhu – 3

Smith: Time is running thin…he’s got to get a pin if he wants to have any shot at tying this up

Hood: Look at you capitulating…I thought it was OVER at 3?

Smith: Well I didn’t foresee this massive turning of the tide. I don’t know where he’s getting it but TIO has caught a second wind and looks to be in total control

~TIO returns to his feet. He looks up at the clock and sees there’s less than sixteen minutes remaining. He swallows hard and goes back after Meyhu. The Marvel remains on the mat, sucking wind. TIO pulls Meyhu to his feet and whips him into the ropes…Meyhu reverses…TIO re-reverses…Meyhu hits the ropes, bounces off and is picked up and dumped with a Spinning Spinebuster!!! TIO pops back to his feet…it’s as though each move he executes supplies him with a burst of energy. Meyhu sits up…he stands…stumbling around. He turns and is booted in the gut! The crowd rises to their feet…TIO hooks Meyhu around the waist…hoists him up…he stumbles a bit…finds his balance and drills Meyhu into the mat with This Damn Incredible!!! The crowd goes APE SHIT! TIO leans on top of Meyhu’s legs…pushing them back near his face. The Marvel’s shoulders are on the mat…Scruff slides in and makes the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

Smith: He did it! He did it! He just pinned Matt Meyhu! That’s the first time Meyhu’s been pinned in OCW, if I’ve got my facts right…amazing!

Hood: Oh quit acting like you just saw Elvis and Tupac tag teaming Marilyn Monroe. Shit happens…he got pinned, big deal. He’s still got a 3-1 lead

Smith: Momentum is a crazy thing, Hood. It can defy logic

Hood: But not tonight

~TIO rolls off Meyhu’s legs and onto the mat. Meyhu rolls onto his side, holding the back of his neck. TIO is on his back. The fans stomp and yell…they are urging him to get up…they see the clock ticking down. TIO sits up and shakes his head…he slaps himself in the side of the head, trying to wake up. He gets to his feet and stalks the Marvel. Meyhu is on all fours with his forehead pressed against the mat…his stomach expands and shrinks with each precious breath. He’s sucking wind like a man lost in the desert sucks down water~

Smith: I think The Marvel is DONE. He’s spent…he’s got nothing left. TIO could, realistically, make up this ground

Hood: How the FUCK is TIO in such better shape? Drug test that man!

Smith: He’s determined, Hood. He’s fighting for his fiancée, his daughter, and, most importantly, himself. He NEEDS to know that he can defeat Matt Meyhu

Hood: I guess he also NEEDS to know what career depression feels like. The answer he seeks will destroy him

Smith: SAYS YOU

~TIO stands over Meyhu’s head. He reaches down and hooks him around the waist. Meyhu appears helpless. TIO pulls Meyhu to his feet, bent over…in perfect position for another This Damn Incredible! The crowd is on the edge of their seats~

Smith: He’s going for a second pinfall!

Hood: FUCKING HELL…WAKE THE FUCK UP, MEYHU!

~TIO is about to hoist Meyhu up. However, before he can Meyhu sticks his leg out and hooks the bottom rope. This prevents TIO from getting Meyhu up. He puts Meyhu back down and releases the lock around The Marvel’s waist. Meyhu crawls to the bottom rope and wraps his body around it. The crowd boos. TIO looks down at him and argues with Scruff. Scruff shrugs~

Smith: Come on, Scruff! Get him off of there! He’s stalling!

Hood: I think he might be sick…has he come down with SARS? EBOLA? We need a medic!

Smith: All he’s suffering from is fatigue and fear.

Hood: That is a SCARY combination. Any normal man would have tapped out by now…but not Meyhu. Not the Marvel

~TIO basically tells Scruff he’s worthless and heads over to Meyhu. He kicks Meyhu in the head. Meyhu remains clutched to the bottom rope. He kicks him again and again and again…Meyhu’s vice grip loosens. TIO reaches down and grabs The Marvel’s legs. He yanks him in the air…Meyhu’s body rises up…he loses his grip and he falls SPLAT on the canvas, front first! He rolls around, holding his abdomen~

12:00
TIO – 1 Meyhu – 3

Smith: Only twelve minutes left…c’mon TIO! Hurry!

Hood: Kicking the guy when he’s down. Classic TIO…what a bully

~TIO snares Meyhu by the hair on the back of his head. Meyhu turns around and shoves TIO away. He charges at TIO with a sloppy lariat! TIO ducks and hooks Meyhu from behind. He bends down and lifts Meyhu onto his shoulders in the Electric Chair position. The Marvel waves his arms in the air, trying to get down. TIO stumbles…he almost falls to one knee…he composes and shifts Meyhu the other way…right into position for This Damn Incredible! Meyhu’s eyes widen…he reaches forward with both arms to grab some sort of imaginary rope. There is none to be grabbed. TIO sends Meyhu crashing down with a second This Damn Incredible!!! The crowd goes wild!! TIO pins Meyhu in identical fashion…Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

Smith: TWO! He’s got TWO! We’ve still got ten minutes left! Can you believe it…he’s back in this!

Hood: Are you FUCKING kidding me?

Smith: I am not!

Hood: I feel so helpless right now…watching this lead evaporate. Like, what the fuck…do something Meyhu! Fight back!

Smith: He can’t, Hood. He used up all his energy gaining that 3-0 lead!

~TIO, again, rolls off Meyhu’s legs and to the mat. Both men are on their backs, sucking wind. TIO looks over at The Marvel. He tosses his arm over Meyhu’s chest. The crowd buzzes with the belief this might tie it up. Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

Shoulder Up!

Smith: AWW! Man! I thought that might do it!

Hood: I would have fuckin quit if that WEAK ASS pinfall tied this thing up

~TIO rolls onto his back. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. There’s more work to be done! He slowly gets to his feet. Meyhu remains down. TIO picks Meyhu up. He kicks Meyhu in the gut. He hooks Meyhu for This Damn Incredible. He locks his hands around Meyhu’s waist. He lifts him…but puts him back down…he tries again, but can’t get him up. TIO is exhausted. He remains bent over, resting on top of Meyhu’s back…both men are pushed beyond normal limits of stamina. Meyhu suddenly stands upright! He’s got TIO hooked and he drops him with The Ego Trip!! Some woman in the crowd shrieks “NOOOOO!!!” A very tired Meyhu rolls TIO over and covers him. Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

3…NO! SHOULDER UP!

~Meyhu has a look of shock on his face. He sits up, looking down at TIO. He gets to a knee and grabs Scruff by the collar. He pleads his case with Scruff. Scruff holds up two fingers. Meyhu starts to get aggressive with Scruff. Scruff warns Meyhu~

Smith: A DQ here would tie things up!

Hood: I thought I’d never say this…ever…but leave Scruff alone!

~TIO is on his feet with a good grip on Scruff. Scruff continues to warn Meyhu…it’s obvious he doesn’t want to call for the bell unless absolutely necessary. Meyhu is clobbered from behind by a staggering, incoherent TIO! This sends Meyhu into the corner, crushing Scruff! Meyhu backs away, looking down with fear at the injured ref. He looks over at TIO who is on one knee. Meyhu lunges forward and kicks TIO with HUBRIS! TIO falls onto the mat. Meyhu nearly falls over after performing the move…he leans into the ropes and spots something. He steps through the ropes and heads to the outside. He walks toward Belvedere~

8:00
TIO – 2 Meyhu – 3

Smith: The Marvel is freaking out! When Scruff comes to…if he thinks Meyhu did that intentionally…that’s going to be a fall for TIO!

Hood: If Scruff pulls that kinda shit I’m going to run down there and kick his ass myself!

Smith: Really?

Hood: Okay, maybe not…but I will envision it in my head

~Meyhu reaches Belvedere. He asks for the OCW Title. Belvedere refuses to hand it over. A hunched over, exhausted Meyhu reaches out and pulls the title from Belvedere’s grasp. He marches back toward the ring. TIO is slowly beginning to move. Scruff is still down. Meyhu tosses the belt into the ring, in between the bottom and middle rope. He rolls in behind it. He gets to his knees and takes a moment to catch his breath~

Smith: What is he going to do…does this man have no morals? Is he willing to stoop to the lowest level imaginable?

Hood: I don’t know about all of that…all I know is Meyhu is a winner!

Smith: C’mon TIO…get up! Look out!

~TIO gets to one knee. Meyhu has the belt in position for a head shot. TIO gets to his feet. He starts to turn around. Meyhu looks over at Scruff…Scruff is getting to his feet. Meyhu throws the belt at TIO and lays down! The crowd is nonplussed…as is TIO. They look around, confused. Meyhu grabs his forehead, wincing in pain. Scruff sees Meyhu down and sees TIO holding the belt. He goes to call for the bell~

Smith: NO! THIS IS CHEATING

Hood: Haha…FUCK YOU TIO

~TIO grabs Scruff, pleading with him. He mimics Meyhu’s act…showing Scruff it was all a ruse. Scruff doesn’t wanna hear it. He’s made up his mind. Meyhu continues to sell the fake belt shot. TIO is BEGGING Scruff not to call for the bell. The crowd starts to beg. Scruff looks over and sees Belvedere who is being very un-Belvedere like in trying to persuade Scruff to believe TIO. Scruff pauses…he looks around. Meyhu opens his left eye, peeking on what’s going on. Scruff spots Meyhu spying. Meyhu quickly closes his eye. Scruff shakes his head and drops the title, kicking it out of the ring. He WAVES off the DQ! The crowd goes wild!!~

Smith: Yes! Way to go Scruff!!!

Hood: Are you FUCKING kidding me!! That’s why you ALWAYS hit them with the belt! You can never leave this type of shit in the hands of incompetent MORONS

Smith: Meyhu is running out of tricks, Hood. He can’t run away forever

Hood: I know that he only needs…shit…does that say four minutes?

Smith: Indeed it does…four minutes away! C’mon TIO! Tie this thing up!

4:00
TIO – 2 Meyhu – 3

~TIO realizes we’re at the four minute mark. He goes after Meyhu. Meyhu rolls out of the ring to the outside. TIO gives chase. Meyhu staggers and stumbles around the ring. TIO tries to catch him. He gets close…Meyhu rolls back inside the ring! TIO climbs in…Meyhu rolls out via another side. TIO drops down and goes after him. This goes on and on…the crowd gets angry…they realize what The Marvel is up to~

Smith: He’s trying to kill time! He’s protecting his lead!

Hood: SMART

~TIO suddenly disappears. Meyhu doesn’t notice, at first. He stops and looks for TIO but can’t find him. The crowd is growing antsy~

3:00
TIO – 2 Meyhu – 3

~Meyhu reaches a set of steps and bends over, placing his palms on the top step and resting, gasping for air. Behind him we see TIO emerge from under the ring. The crowd goes wild. Meyhu turns around and is met with a BIG BOOT into the face!! The Marvel flips over the steps, landing on his head on the other side. The crowd gets a huge “TIO” chant going. He’s got all the momentum~

Smith: Yes! No more running now…TIO has got you!

Hood: Fuck me! C’mon Clock…TICK FASTER

~TIO snares Meyhu and he tosses him back inside the ring~

2:00
TIO – 2 Meyhu – 3

Smith: TWO MINUTE WARNING!

~TIO hurries up the steps and begins to ascend the corner. He looks down at Meyhu. The Marvel is on his back, center of the ring. TIO reaches the top. He looks out to the crowd. They yell ‘HURRY UP!!’ He nods and leaps off with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! IT CONNECTS!!! The fucking place erupts!!! Scruff even jumps up and down! He drops to his knees, making the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

SMITH: YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Hood: OH MY FUCK! CHAOS! WHAT THE SHIT! WE GOT CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER! OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! LOUD FUCKING NOISES!

Smith: LETS GO, TIO!

1:00
TIO – 3 Meyhu – 3

~TIO gets to his knees. He tries pinning Meyhu again…Meyhu rolls over. TIO knows he’s got more to do. “TIO! TIO!” He feeds off the energy. He gets to his feet. He signals for another This Damn Incredible! The crowd responds “JUST FUCKING DO IT!” TIO pulls Meyhu to his feet. He delivers a sloppy boot into the gut. Meyhu doubles over. TIO hooks him around the waist~

0:45
TIO – 3 Meyhu – 3

Smith: Here we go!

~TIO hoists Meyhu…but he can’t get him up!! His legs are too weak…his arms are too weak…he’s too tired! He drops Meyhu. The crowd starts to freak. Meyhu is on all fours. TIO kicks him in the head…Meyhu flips onto his back. TIO stumbles for the corner~

0:30
TIO – 3 Meyhu – 3

Smith: You better hurry! Hurry!

Hood: I can’t believe I’m saying this considering where we were just five minutes ago but please…please let’s make it to overtime!

~TIO’s foot slips on the first buckle. The crowd screams. He gets better footing and gets to the second buckle. The crowd is yelling, imploring him to move faster. He’s moving as fast as he can! He gets to the top and looks down at Meyhu~

0:15
TIO – 3 Meyhu – 3

Smith: Ahh…I can’t watch!

Hood: Uncover your eyes and act like a fucking man!

~TIO leaps off…he soars through the air. He comes crashing down RIGHT ON TOP OF MEYHU with the Shooting Star Press! The entire state of Nebraska shifts! TIO covers Meyhu. The crowd happily counts along~

1!

2!

3!

NO! Wait!

0:09
TIO – 3 Meyhu – 3

~The crowd screams! They are stunned. TIO looks at Scruff. He’s pleading through his eyes. He KNOWS that was three. Scruff informs him it was only two. The crowd begins counting down. They are at six. TIO, hearing the crowd count, dives in for a desperation pinfall. AS he does, Meyhu grabs him and rolls him over in a small package!!! Scruff makes the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~TIO kicks out RIGHT AFTER three! He looks around, not quite sure what just happened. Meyhu rolls near the apron, resting~

Smith: NO! NO! PLEASE TELL ME THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!

Hood: YES! YES! AND I AM PLEASED TO TELL YOU THAT IT DID!

0:00
FINAL SCORE: TIO – 3 Meyhu – 4

~The BUZZER sounds. The entire place is deflated. The fans all sit in stunned silence. Grown men are shaking their head, punching their seats. Women are in tears. Kids are beyond tears at this point. The entire tent is crestfallen. It’s like a democratic election party on election night in 2016. TIO looks around…he’s trying to come to grips with what just happened. Scruff rolls out of the ring, he, too appears to be disappointed~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…here is your winner…with a final tally of four pinfalls to three…and NEW OCW CHAMPION….“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU

Smith: SON OF A MOLESTOR

Hood: Say what?

Smith: Sorry…my emotions got the better of me but…MAN

Hood: I know, I know…GREATEST NIGHT IN OCW HISTORY

~TIO rolls out of the ring. He stands, hands on his hips, looking at the ground in shock. He runs his fingers through his soaked, black hair. Scruff walks past him with the OCW Title. He stops Scruff. He takes the belt and looks into it, at his own reflection. The crowd chants “TIO! TIO!”~

Smith: Nobody cares more about that belt than that man, right there. What a shame…what an absolute SHAME

Hood: I think we need security! He’s going to run off with it! THIEF

Smith: He respects the belt too much to do something like that, Hood

~TIO lingers with the belt for a moment. But, after a few moments of cherishing the title…the look…the feel…reminiscing on his time as champion, he hands the belt to Scruff with sadness in his eyes. Scruff nods and gives TIO a pat on the back before rolling in with the title. TIO makes his way toward the exit. He walks along the dirt…the dirt that has seen so much violence and sweat…so much victory, and defeat. He walks along that very same dirt. The fans are all standing, giving the man a well-earned round of applause. He reaches the end of the pit and steps up. He takes a look around at all the fans showing their heart felt support for their in-ring hero~

Smith: I’m getting a little choked up here, Hood

Hood: Oh for the love…would you act like a man!

Smith: I can’t help it!

~TIO takes a bow for all the fans…they respond with a HUGE OVATION. Behind TIO approach Jenna and Leslie. They embrace him. They let him know it’s okay. He apologizes for coming up short, but they don’t care. The trio hold onto one another as TIO makes his exit. He gives one final wave to the crowd as the letters ‘TIO’ reach out into the sky, immortalized in this moment. He steps through the flaps, leaving the tent. We turn our attention to the new champion…The Marvel. Scruff hands Meyhu the title…Meyhu, lying down in the corner, resting up against the bottom buckle, takes it. He’s exhausted, breathing heavily~

Smith: TIO is one of the best we’ve ever seen. A true legend…a true hall of famer…unfortunately tonight…he just wasn’t the better man

Hood: I’ll give TIO this much…he fought one hell of a match. Hats off

Smith: Indeed

Hood: But now…NOW we turn the page to THE MARVEL

Smith: Yes…yes we do

~Scruff offers Meyhu his hand. Meyhu waves him out…his entire body is drenched with sweat. His hair is soaked. He continues to rest. He holds the title close~

Smith: Well folks…that does it for tonight…we have a new face of OCW…his name is Matt Meyhu

Hood: So we’re getting Vargas and Meyhu at Lost at Sea?

Smith: Yes Hood…yes we are

Hood: FUCKING EPIC

Smith: It will be quite the match…well, so long everyone and thanks for watching OCW’s The Greatest Show On Earth!

WHEN IT’S TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD

Smith: WHAT?!

Hood: Oh for fuck’s sake

~The crowd buzzes with shock. Several people in the process of leaving rush back to their seats. The OCW Commissioner, MIKE ZYBALA superkicks his way through the tent flaps to a huge ovation!! Meyhu sits up, swallowing hard. His eyes widen. Zybala has a mic in his hand and a smile on his face. He steps into the pit~

Mike Zybala: Oh no…we’re not done…NOT YET. I don’t care what Welsh says…I’m the commissioner around here and I answer to one man – Jimmy Buffett! And, well, Buffett has given me full autonomy to make my own decisions in regards to signed talent. So, having said that…I’d like for a person by the name of LUKAS EMERY to come out!

~The crowd is like “OH SHIT” as the Oh Shit (that was totally not intended but, hey, the name fuckin works, am I right?) Contract Holder steps out!! He walks up, into the pit and stands next to Zybala with his Oh Shit Contract~

Smith: HOOD! He’s going to cash in!

Hood: Okay this is some fucked up shit…Buffett had to be DRUNK when he gave Zybala this type of authority. Security…get that weird commissioner out of here!

Mike Zybala: Lukas…you saw that match…what did you think?

Lukas Emery: Great match. Brutal, exhausting...an entire hour, can you imagine?

Mike Zybala: I certainly can not. But, hey…what’s that in your hands?

Lukas Emery: This? Oh, it’s my Oh Shit Contract

Mike Zybala: Ah, yes, I’ve heard something about that. What are you planning on doing with it?

~Meyhu gets a look of panic on his face. Lukas hands the Oh Shit Contract over to Zybala~

Lukas Emery: Well, with your permission, Commish…I’d like to cash it in right here, right now on Matt Meyhu!

~Zybala looks around to the crowd. They all chant “YES!” Zybala shrugs~

Mike Zybala: Sounds good to me! Let’s cash this baby in! Scruff, ring the bell!

~The crowd goes wild! Scruff calls for the bell. Meyhu gets to his feet, staggering around. He argues his case. Lukas rushes for the ring~

Smith: I’m no Meyhu fan but this…this doesn’t seem fair

Hood: Doesn’t seem fair?! DOESN’T SEEM FAIR?!

Smith: No, it doesn’t seem fair

Hood: This is the biggest injustice in the history of human existence! Welsh! Do something!

~Meyhu continues to plead with Scruff. Scruff takes the OCW Title away and raises it above his head. Lukas slides into the ring, popping to his feet. Meyhu’s attention turns to Lukas. He backs into a corner, exhausted. He’s in no shape to compete~

Smith: There’s no way he can defeat Lukas…I don’t care how good he is

Hood: So that’s it…we’re just gonna let this go down?

~Knux suddenly enters into the tent with Welsh behind him. Welsh instructs Knux to head to the ring. Zybala gets in Knux’s way. Knux grabs Zybala by the throat. The fans boo. Amelia Emery rushes into the tent!! She jumps on the back of Knux!! He releases Zybala and staggers around. Welsh avoids the commotion and reaches the pit, keeping his focus on what’s going on inside the ring. Amelia and Knux stagger out of the tent. Zybala composes and heads toward Welsh~

Smith: And Knux is out of the equation! Welsh is out of options…there’s no way he can battle with Zybala

Hood: So we’re just going to let the fucking EMERY family dictate the OCW Title scene. GREAT

~Welsh sees Zybala heading his way. He waves toward the entrance of the tent. ANTHONY WENTZ rushes out. Zybala doesn’t turn around until it’s too late. He turns around and gets TEA BAGGED by Wentz!! The crowd boos. Meanwhile, we focus back in the ring. Meyhu is backed into a corner…his hands are out, trying to stop Lukas. Emery looks around, smiling~

Smith: Lukas has a golden opportunity…it won’t get any easier. He just needs to take it!

Hood: At least Zybala got laid out. Wentz is now my second favorite wrestler!

~With a last gasp, Meyhu lunges at Lukas! He hooks him for Ego Trip! Lukas, though, elbows out of it!! Meyhu staggers into the corner. Lukas rushes forward and drills Meyhu with Wickedness (Turnbuckle Enziguri)!! The crowd goes wild!! Meyhu falls to the mat, on his back. Lukas points to the top rope…the crowd cheers. Welsh is at ringside now, watching with fear in his eyes…he’s seeing his chosen face about to go down~

Smith: Light of Emery! Here it comes!

Hood: And, by hitting it…he will cover the entire company in darkness1

Smith: Oh please…Lukas would be a GREAT OCW Champion

~Lukas reaches the top. He looks down and leaps off…he connects with Light of Emery!!! The crowd jumps to their feet!! He covers Meyhu. Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

…..

Smith: WHAT HAPPENED?

Hood: Welsh! He pulled Lukas out! He just SAVED the promotion!

~The crowd BOOOOS. Lukas, once he figures out what happened, turns toward Welsh, furious! Welsh pleads with Lukas. Emery grabs Welsh by the throat and raises his fist. He’s suddenly corralled by Anthony Wentz!! Wentz hooks Emery in a full nelson and drags him away from the ring. A rush of security appear…Welsh tells them to help Wentz keep Lukas secured. Welsh yells “DON’T LET HIM GO!” Welsh looks into the ring and yells at Scruff to count~

Smith: Oh no…come on!

Hood: Hallelujah!

Smith: I get it wasn’t a fair cash in…but now you’re going to RUIN the guy’s opportunity…he fought hard for that contract!

~Scruff counts…he hits FIVE…SIX…SEVEN…Lukas is tied up by Wentz and OCW Security, he can’t go anywhere. Scruff gets to EIGHT…then NINE and finally TEN!!! He calls for the bell~

Belveder: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner…by count out…AND STILL OCW CHAMPION…“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!

~The crowd boos. Trash is thrown into the pit. Welsh gets into the ring…he takes the belt from Scruff and hands it to Meyhu, who is seated up, dazed. Welsh helps Meyhu out of the ring. He yells at Security. “COME, PROTECT THE CHAMPION! PROTECT THE CHAMPION!” a team of security forms a circle around Welsh and Meyhu as they exit the tent~

Smith: Welsh has just screwed Lukas Emery…they have GOT to do something to fix this

Hood: Nope, he’s the dick bag who wanted to cash in on a man who just competed in an Iron Man match. He got what he deserved.

~Zybala sits up. He sees the hoard of people protecting Meyhu and Welsh exiting the tent. He gets to his feet, wondering what’s happened. He sees Wentz with Lukas in a full nelson. Lukas, realizing it’s just him and Wentz…throws a back kick into Anthony’s groin! Wentz doubles over! The crowd goes wild! Zybala rushes over and SUPERKICKS Wentz in the face!! Wentz falls to the ground. Zybala looks at Lukas, asking him what happened. Emery informs him of the events. Zybala says “We’ll get this fixed.”~

Smith: I don’t think this is over, Hood

Hood: Why isn’t it…WHY ISN’T THIS OVER?

Smith: Because…Lukas Emery was screwed tonight. I don’t care what you say or how you see it…that’s the truth

Hood: Welsh did what was best for OCW. He’s constantly putting out Zybala’s fires.

Smith: Yea, well another fire is coming his way.

Hood: Fuck our commish.

Smith: Yea, well that’s your opinion. Anyway…we’re all out of time everybody! What a great night…we have a new Craze Champion…we saw three epic encounters and…we have a NEW OCW Champion as Matt Meyhu…through all this insanity has emerged the FACE of OCW once again. For Hood, I’m Smith…we will see you LIVE next week, in Key West for Massacre. Good night everyone!

~Before we cut off the air we are shown one final image of an angry Zybala talking to a frustrated Lukas Emery. We fade out~

Online Championship Wrestling Established in 1999
  • Home
  • Join
  • Staff
  • Rules
  • Roster
  • Rankings
  • Decadence
  • Massacre
  • Boards
  • Awards
  • Title History
  • Archives
  • Hall of Fame