LIVE! Monday, October 29th 2018
From the Mortuary Haunted House
Located in New Orleans, Louisiana
~We open up to a POV shot via a shaky cam. We are moving quickly down a two lane road in the middle of a rural area. There is a field to our left. There is a field to our right. The sun is beginning to set along the western horizon. It’s that golden time of day…that time when life has a different hue, a more prevalent meaning. The last gasp of air before day becomes night. The cam is being held by a person riding shotgun. It is turned to the left displaying the driver. A petite female dressed as Andrea Hernandez sits behind the wheel. Her eyes dart back and forth from a GPS app on her phone to the road~
Driver: Relax, it says we’re almost there. He told me it was out in the middle of the BFE so quit freaking out.
Passenger: I’m not freaking out. It’s just that Aidan Collins is in the opening match and I do not want to miss it.
Driver: You won’t miss your boyfriend’s match.
~They sit in silence for a few moments. The driver reaches over and begins to play a CD full of modern spooky music. It is the Halloween season, after all. We can feel the anxiety lifting from the passenger’s pores. He’s sweating bullets. Why didn’t he drive? We all know women can’t drive for shit~
Driver: How far? Does that really say five minutes?
Driver: Oh my gosh! Would you calm down? I want to get there just as soon as you do. I don’t want to be stuck standing during the entire event.
Passenger: Oh don’t worry, that won’t be an issue. It’s going to be on every TV in the house.
Driver: Oh so now you’re the one telling me not to worry. That’s rich.
GPS: TAKE A LEFT
Passenger: GEEZUS
~The Driver takes a violent left. They hit an even bumpier road, one made of gravel and dirt. An estate surrounds. It’s in modest shape. It isn’t creepy or haunted looking. But it’s far from palatial. The driveway stretches for nearly half a mile. Ahead sets an old, giant home. Dozens of vehicles are parked at random. There isn’t much of a driveway. So the cars are just parked wherever their drivers could find space. They are parked atop grass, atop dirt, atop roots belonging to trees. It will likely be a mess trying to get out. The car we’re seated in reaches the mish mashed menagerie of vehicles~
Driver: I told you it wouldn’t take five minutes. Where should I park?
Passenger: I don’t care…anywhere…over there!
Driver: Calm down! My goodness if only you cared as much about everything else as you care about OCW.
~The Driver finds a space on the grass. She kills the engine and stands. The Passenger hurries out and hops around, anxiously while the Driver grabs her purse along with a few other items. She appears to be toting a bottle of wine~
Passenger: What’s that for? I told you they had kegs and punch
Driver: I am not arriving at a house party without bringing a gift. Other people may be animals but we, sir, are not.
Passenger: Fine, whatever let’s just get in there! This thing is going to start in less than half an hour!
~They approach the front door of the estate. The Passenger tries the doorbell but it seems to be broken. So he knocks the thick, wooden door as hard as he can. They wait~
Driver: You’re SURE everyone is dressing as an OCW wrestler?
Passenger: Absolutely. I can’t wait to show off my outfit.
Driver: You don’t think mine is too generic, do you? I hope there aren’t like fifteen Andrea Hernandez outfits
Passenger: You’re asking me that NOW? You’ll be fine. Way better than dressing as Alice Knight.
~The Driver nods, agreeing that Alice might be the most popular costume of the evening. The door suddenly opens. Standing on the other end is the apparent host of the event. He’s dressed as Belvedere~
Host: WELL HELLO!
~The Passenger and Driver greet the host with a hug and handshake. The bottle of wine is presented. The host is grateful. He invites them in. The door is shut. The host hustles to stow the bottle of wine away for later. The Driver and Passenger take in the surroundings. The house is full of people dressed as OCW stars. Each room features a TV set to STARZ. A preview show is airing with Jones and Who’Re running down the lineup. The beer in the house is flowing. Everyone is having a good time. The Driver sees a few Andrea Hernandez outfits, but not nearly enough to make her feel too ordinary~
Driver: Not bad.
Passenger: Speak for yourself
~We pull away from the Passenger, getting a full view of him. He’s dressed as Aidan Collins. And, well, he isn’t the only one. It appears as though at least 20% of the men at this party had the same idea. The Passenger lowers his head feeling like an unoriginal bitch. The Driver pats him on the back and leads him into the party. We leave them to their own devices and pan around the home. A man in a bald cap toting a bottle of Jamison is talking to an African American gentleman dressed like Chad Vargas~
Mack Costume: Interesting choice
Chad Costume: Why do you say that?
Mack Costume: Because you’re, umm, you know…black
Chad Costume: Black people can be confederate southern racist assholes…you didn’t know that?
~The guy dressed as Mack shrugs and takes a pull from his bottle. We pull away and filter through the crowd. The kegs are found. One sits in the back of the kitchen. Two others are placed on the back porch, right outside a sliding, glass door. A person dressed as an OWL is filling a pitcher while a woman dressed as GREG waits behind him~
OWLIE: HOOT!
Greg: Hurry up! My boyfriend gets really angry when his beer runs out
OWLIE: Damn Greg, you’re looking pretty fine in that outfit.
Greg: This ass is the property of Marcus Welsh
OWLIE: HOOT!
~We head outside to find what appears to be twins. One is dressed as Zybala. The other is dressed as Zybalda. They are slamming beers. A group of people stand around, chatting with them. Among the costumes we spot Julliet Brooks, Tony Savage, Bradley Carrington, and Talia Areano~
Zybala: So I say the winner of the pick em contest tonight gets seven minutes in heaven with Greg. Damn she’s fine.
Zybalda: I second this idea!
~A figure emerges from around the corner of the house. He’s zipping up his pants after having relieved a full bladder. He marches past Zybala and Zybalda. He’s dressed as Marcus Welsh~
Marcus Welsh: VETOED!
~He steps inside and receives his beer from Greg. We zoom back inside the party and look around for some more interesting happenings. An older man dressed as Mike Harrison is speaking to a younger girl dressed as Hellraven. He keeps feeding her drinks while informing her as to why experience is more satisfying than youthful energy. Hellraven seems a bit uncomfortable…we share that emotion and quickly move on to another portion of the party. A group of masked individuals are having a conversation. We spot people dressed up as Pryde, OGDA, Uber Man, and JAM G~
Pryde: Here’s hoping your boy OGDA can take it home tonight!
Uber Man: Amen!
JAM G: We masked brothers have to stick together
Uber Man: Vigilantes of the night! And sometimes day or morning, depending upon my aunt’s schedule.
~The OGDA costumed individual nods his head and the four individuals toast their beers. We pan around to find a long line outside what we presume to be the bathroom. A man dressed as Saxon Rowe is first in line, pounding on the door~
Saxon Rowe: C’MON!
~A loud flush is heard. The door opens and the fattest person at the party steps out, dressed as Bifford. He struts back into the party with not a hint of shame. Rowe steps into the bathroom…he pauses and backs away skittishly. He plugs his nose~
Saxon Rowe: Oh man…what the…geezus! BIFF!
~Rowe sucks it up and runs into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. We continue flying through the party. A scrawny person dressed as Matt Meyhu sips from a wine cooler. He’s suddenly surrounded by a group of much larger individuals. They are dressed as Lurrr, Maurako, TIO, and Silverfreak~
Lurrr: Look at this guy.
Maurako: It’s the MARVEL!
~They begin to push the tiny man dressed as Meyhu around, getting their kicks in. The guy dressed as Meyhu spills his drink everywhere before crawling between the legs of Silverfreak and running for the door. He pulls the door open and runs out of the party. The hall of famers have a good laugh. A voice sounds out from the kitchen~
Voice: LOOK OUT! HE’S ABOUT TO BLOW!
~A man dressed as Grenier is apparently already shitfaced. He’s about to puke. He hauls his ass for the bathroom, kicking the door open. Rowe is zipping up, a little pissed that he was almost caught with his dick out. Rowe exits and Grenier drops to his knees. He pukes all over the toilet which…as we quickly notice is purple. It looks freshly painted. Grenier finishes puking his guts out and looks around, eyes full of water~
Bob Grenier: Who painted the toilet? And why does it smell like shit?
Belvedere: I thought painting the toilet purple was apropos. As for the smell…
Saxon Rowe: Blame Biff! He clogged the fucking thing up!
~Grenier gets another whiff of the corrupted toilet water which is a few inches from his face and begins to throw up all over again. We quickly cut away because, ya know, it’s fucking gross, man. We catch back up with the Passenger and the Driver. The Passenger has a beer while the Driver is staring suspiciously down at a water cooler full of red liquid~
Driver: What is that?
~Belvedere gladly leaves the bathroom scene to answer the question~
Belvedere: We call that Get Fucked Punch. Whoever drinks it will be getting fucked in more ways than one.
Driver: Hmm
~The Driver snares her boyfriend’s beer and points down at the punch. He sighs and grabs a cup, scooping out a glass full of punch and taking a sip. He shrugs. The Hall of Famers are spotted once more, near the front door. A giant man enters. He’s dressed as Ed Houston. He’s got the tiny Matt Meyhu party goer hiding behind him~
Houston: Anybody who fucks with my boy Meyhu fucks with me!
~The group of Hall of Famers quickly decide this gigantic human in super tight pants isn’t worth the confrontation so they usher away to the kegs on the back porch~
Meyhu: Thanks, Ed
Houston: No problem, champ
~The main TV is suddenly switched over to HDMI2. The people in the living room throw a loud fit. A man dressed as The Lost Soul appears to be the culprit~
TLS: Calm down! I just wanted you all to see highlights from the virtual OCW show I put on last night!
Hotstuff: Change it back!
TLS: But Hotstuff won the virtual OCW Title
Hotstuff: Oh well I think we have time to check it out, then. Serial Thrillers starts in like ten minutes
~A person of indefinable gender dressed as Melinda Rhodes stands up from the couch~
Rhodes: Turn it back! Nobody wants to see Hotstuff win a match!
Hotstuff: You kidding me? Jacob Hotstuff is the most OVER wrestler on the planet!
~Rhodes and Hotstuff continue to argue. TLS takes this as clearance to play his Virtual OCW broadcast. The control is slapped out of his hand. A man dressed as Langston towers over TLS. He shakes his head ‘no’ and places the TV back on the STARZ feed. TLS sulks down into a seat on the couch. There is a knock at the door~
Belvedere: I’ll get it!
~The host opens the door and immediately frowns. Three greasy, dirty, nerdy looking creeps stand at his doorstep~
Belvedere: What the fuck do you want
~The creepy weirdos get a little insecure. But their leader…a super strange guy with a fuzz stache speaks~
Strange Guy: We heard you were having a Serial Thrillers party. We love OCW. I masturbate to it.
~Belvedere snaps his fingers. A bunch of party goers back him up, staring down the front porch intruders. At once they grab the trio by the back of their necks and drag them toward the bathroom. The Driver observes this and questions the motivation~
Driver: What did they do?
Passenger: They are wearing 4CW shirts
Driver: What is a 4CW?
Passenger: It’s like a safe place for basement dwellers who watch animated porn.
Driver: How sad
Passenger: Extremely
~The Passenger finishes off his cup and hiccups. He’s looking fairly buzzed. He eyes the Driver~
Passenger: You wanna head upstairs?
~The Driver grabs him by the arm. She drags him through the party with horny fervor. They pass by the bathroom where the three uninvited visitors are being given swirlies inside the Purple toilet filled with every kind of human waste imaginable. They rush upstairs. A gigantic figure toting a smaller human on his shoulder is heading down. They squeeze by him. The gigantic figure yells out~
Gigantic Figure: NOT IN MY BED!
~It’s another one of the hosts! He’s dressed as Scott Syren! His petite girlfriend, seated atop his shoulder is dressed as Curt Canon. They reach the living room and turn toward the TV. A promo hyping the Meyhu/Vargas match is airing~
Scott Syren: What the fuck is this gay shit? I thought we were watching an OCW PPV!
~He laughs at his own joke. He then places his girlfriend on the ground and motions toward a treasure chest. She opens it, removing two titles. One is a knock off OCW LightWeight Title. The other is an old, beat up replica of the vintage REAL OCW Title. Syren takes hold of the latter and hoists it in the air~
Scott Syren: You’re eternal champ has arrived! The show may begin!
~The party rushes toward the living room as the Vargas/Meyhu promo comes to an end. The screen goes black. Syren removes a sheet covering a massive throne and plops down. His girlfriend, Canon, brings him a chalice filled with some kind of hearty beverage. A man dressed as MURPHY THE BODY stands next to Belvedere~
Murphy the Body: What’s his deal?
Belvedere: That’s my roommate. He dresses as Syren every year for Halloween. Sometimes he even dresses as Syren for casual Friday at work. He really loves Scott Syren.
~The screen goes black. The entire house erupts in cheers! It’s starting!! The OCW logo flashes! The entire house is consumed with “OCW!” cheers!! Serial Thrillers is officially underway…~
~We cut to the LIVE event! We’re shown an exterior shot of The Mortuary in New Orleans, Louisiana. The location is surrounded by wild, ravenous, crazy OCW fans! They are all chanting ‘OCW!’ The streets surrounding the Mortuary have been blocked off. Fans are in the streets, in the grass, they are everywhere! It’s a scene, man! Many of them are dressed up as their favorite OCW stars. Others are dressed in a more traditional costume – witches, ghosts, vampires, zombies, etc. We see several Michael Myers masks walking around. Good stuff. There are two giant animated gargoyles in front of the Mortuary entrance. Behind them is a digital clock that reads the number ‘0’. Fans keep a close watch on this number. We finally locate OCW backstage reporters AKB and Who’Re. Who’Re is dressed as a well-respected male reporter. AKB is a seductive female prostitute~
AKB: Hello OCW!
~The crowd outside the Mortuary goes wild!~
Who’Re: Woo! What a night! What a crowd!
AKB: Damn straight, Who’Re
Who’Re: I like your costume, by the way. What’s the idea behind it?
AKB: Well considering the current social climate I figured if I dressed as a woman I could be sexually aggressive this evening without the fear of being labeled a predator.
Who’Re: Oh and here I thought you had somehow matured
~AKB wasn’t listening. Instead he was eyeing a couple of women dressed as slutty witches~
Who’Re: Welcome to Serial Thrillers everyone! We are coming to you LIVE from the Mortuary in New Orleans, Louisiana. As you can tell the party is pretty wild out here.
AKB: Yep and we weren’t even allowed inside. In fact very few people were
Who’Re: Yep. A select amount of VIP tickets were sold for this event. Those individuals are allowed to watch the matches from INSIDE the Mortuary. Everyone else paid for, well, basically ‘lawn’ seats to watch the event from outside. We’ve got several big screens set up along with numerous speakers
AKB: I’d rather be out here, to be honest. It’s crazy
Who’Re: It certainly is! It’s so loud out here I’m shouting! You’ll notice a clock on the outside of the building. Whenever that zero changes to a one or a two or whatever…that represents the amount of room that is available for people to upgrade. Which, you know, means people inside have decided to give up their VIP tickets for whatever reason.
AKB: Oh cool so does that mean we can go in when it changes?
Who’Re: No it does not, Alpha! There’s a waiting list. These people on the waiting list will receive a text message when, if they are eligible to upgrade to the VIP package
AKB: They better have their phones on vibrate
Who’Re: Yep! OCW has obviously gone the extra mile for this event. I’m told they spent a ton of money on re-working the interior of The Mortuary to create enough space for a wrestling event and fans. They will also be returning the venue back to normal once the event is over which, you know, won’t be cheap
AKB: Sounds like the Mortuary got one hell of a deal!
~Various Halloween type sounds are being played over the speakers. A LOUD howl fills the air. AKB is startled. Who’Re laughs~
Who’Re: Oh Alpha!
AKB: What the? I think I may need to latch onto you for emotional support tonight
Who’Re: Eww! Alpha! Get offffff me!
~AKB clings to Who’Re as we pull away for another extended exterior view. The fans are drinking. There are various stands selling alcohol and junk food. A few fans are wrestling each other for some reason – probably a mixture of alcohol and adrenaline. We spot a giant cemetery behind the event. Nobody is hanging out in there, thank goodness. We then cut to INSIDE the Mortuary! We see Smith and Hood seated in a special location above everyone else. Hood is dressed as, well, what appears to be Donald Trump. Smith is dressed as Harry Potter~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Serial Thrillers!! I’m your host Smith and alongside me as always is Hood…or, should I say…President Trump!
Hood: President Trump?!
Smith: Yea, you’re dressed as our controversial President
Hood: The fuck are you talking about? I’m clearly dressed as Dr. Orange!
Smith: Hmm
Hood: Oh fuck off. At least I’m not dressed as a pre-teen lesbian
Smith: I AM HARRY POTTER
Hood: Whoa, calm down, bro
~We get an extended shot of the interior. There’s a standard OCW wrestling ring in the middle of a giant, open area with a very high ceiling. Hanging from the ceiling is a web covered chandelier providing the macabre illumination. There’s a small, metal guard rail surrounding the ring to keep the fans from getting too close. But they are closer than usual…this is a much more personal feel than any other OCW wrestling event. Well aside from that one show that was held inside a bar. Fans are walking around…there is no seating. Directly behind the ring from our HARD CAM view is a set of ‘curtains’ made out of black trash bags. This appears to be the entrance way. There is a skinny aisle leading from these curtains to the ring. There is a ‘party area’ on either side of the ring, behind the fans where kegs of beer reside with a bunch of SOLO cups. The entire décor screams HALLOWEEN party. There is also a balcony overlooking the setup with a staircase attached on either side. The balcony is directly above the entrance. Fans are seen walking up and down the stairs, back and forth. Some fans are hanging out on the stairs. Fans are leaning against the balcony, eager for the action to begin. There are no giant TVs due to the intimate nature of the setting~
Smith: How many fans do you estimate are in here, Hood?
Hood: I don’t have a fucking clue. Less than ten thousand?
Smith: A horrible guess if technically correct. I’m told we sold five hundred VIP tickets to this event. So there are apparently five hundred people crammed in here. Thousands of people, however, are outside watching this event on several big screens
Hood: I was always a ‘lawn’ guy myself whenever I’d attend concerts. The freedom to roam, baby
Smith: They have that same freedom in here, to an extent
Hood: True, but…
~The crowd outside goes wild! Their cheers are heard from inside. We cut outside to see the number ‘1’ displayed on the digital clock. A super happy fan dressed as Paralysis runs up the steps showing his text to Knux and Barry Man is Low. They let him enter. He steps into the Mortuary and looks around in amazement~
Smith: And some lucky fan was just bumped up to VIP status! No doubt their bank account just receive a massive debit
Hood: Who the fuck already left?
Smith: I have no idea. A Josie Barnes fan who hasn’t been keeping up with OCW for the past month?
Hood: Unpossible
Smith: And why do you say that?
Hood: Because that would mean Josie Barnes has a fan
Smith: Even Hitler had fans, Hood
Hood: Yikes
Smith: And on that note let's get tonight's action started! We're not wasting any time in jumping right into some of the major happenings...Welsh's new FACE of OCW is set to debut and that match is NOW
Opening Match
Spooky Ghost Match
Alice Knight (12-3) vs. “King Infinity” Aidan Collins (0-0)
~The crowd is on fire! A few fans dressed as OWLIE are flapping their wings, trying their best to get a loud “HOOT” going. A fan dressed as KING INFINITY looks on with a scowl saying something along the lines of “What a joke.” Belvedere steps through the ropes, entering into the ring for the first time this evening. The crowd goes WILD! A tremendous OWL! IS! NIGHT! chant begins. All the owls in the crowd strut around, flapping their wings like crazy. The people dressed as Alice Knight chug beer and make obscure movie references. Most of the fans rush to the guard rail, hoping to get a close look of the OCW legend. Belvedere clears his throat which only intensifies the atmosphere. He waits for the crowd to die down by this “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” chant won’t go away. So Belvedere prepares his golden and LOUD voice to overpower the chants via the magic of a PA system~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…welcome to Serial Thrillers!!!
~The crowd ROARS with approval and excitement. A fan dressed as Lukas Emery collapses and possibly dies. Medics rush, picking him up and carrying him out of the Mortuary. The crowd outside goes wild chanting “YES!” as the clock goes from ‘0’ to ‘1’. A guy dressed as Vossler enters the Mortuary, happy to be a part of the action. He rushes for a keg to grab a beer before the action gets started~
Smith: Let’s all hope that Lukas Emery dressed fan is okay
Hood: Should have known a guy dressed as Lukas Emery couldn’t handle the workload of standing, watching, and cheering at the same time
Smith: Indeed
Belvedere: The following match is a SPOOKY GHOST MATCH and it is scheduled for one fall! The ring will be surrounded by eight individuals dressed as ‘ghosts’. The wrestlers must remove the costume to reveal the individual underneath. Once the referee is discovered then a pinfall or submission can be obtained. The first person to obtain a pinfall or submission will be the winner!
~These fans are so rabid they’ll chant just about anything which explains why “SPOOKY GHOST!” is filling the Mortuary. Eight ghost dressed individuals make their way to the ring. The crowd pops for their entrance. A spooky theme fills the Mortuary. Some of the ghosts make SPOOKY gestures. Others remain still and robotic. It’s impossible to tell which one is SCRUFF. They surround the ring. Four in front of a post…four right in the middle of each side of the ring. Once situation “ELECTRIFIED” BY DRESSY BESSY hits and, well, you’d assume you were in the middle of a theater full of middle aged men at the start of THE FORCE AWAKENS. Alice appears from behind the trash bag curtained entrance with a large smile on her face. She pauses, taking the scene in…she nods with approval. The arena definitely looks about as dirty as her home/RV. “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” fill the Mortuary along with the New Orleans skyline, thanks to the large gathering of crazy fans outside the venue~
Smith: And there she is! The heart and soul of OCW!
Hood: Please don’t say shit like that…it makes me nauseous
Smith: Well she is, Hood! She embodies everything that separates OCW from the other promotions out there
Hood: Stop! My stomach can only take so much!
~Alice lets out a loud HOOT before heading to the ring all bubbly and coquettish like we’re used to. Fans lean onto the guardrail, reaching out. She extends both hands, high fiving the fans on her way down. Fortunately the guardrails do not give. If Zybala were in control they probably would have. Knight reaches the ringside area and pats one of the ghosts on the back. A loud Aidan Collins fan screams out “HEY! NO TOUCHING!” Alice turns around and sticks her tongue out while giving the guy a ‘thumbs down’. She rolls into the ring and walks around, waving at her fans~
Belvedere: Introducing first…from Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Champion…she is an OCW Hall of Famer…she is the originator of the OWL! IS! NIGHT! movement…ladies and gentlemen…she is…ALICE KNIGHT!!!
~The crowd continues to go wild both inside the Mortuary and out. “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” is the prevailing chant. Knight backs into a corner and continues to smile, really enjoying the event thus far~
Smith: A tragedy that Alice must come out first. She’s the legend!
Hood: Pssh…she’s Alice Knight. Who gives a fuck? KING INFINITY is about to grace us with his presence. He must be treated like a superstar
Smith: He may be a star everywhere else but in OCW he’s just a rookie
Hood: Here we go…bullshit OCW propaganda. And what about your girl feeling up that ghost, huh? She’s already cheating!
Smith: She was not feeling that ghost up!
~The lights in the Mortuary go down. The crowd’s volume decreases before reaching a near silent level. "Blockbuster Night One" by Run the Jewels hits. Some in the crowd cheer but most look on to see the spectacle that is the debut of King Infinity. We get a brief shot of Alice through vague lighting. She watches on with intrigue. The man himself, the future of OCW…the next FACE emerges from behind the trash bag curtain. The crowd pops for his appearance. Whether or not you’re a fan of this man you can’t deny he’s a draw. Collins pauses for a moment, eyeing the skinny aisle. Perhaps figuring out a way to get to the ring without being touched by a fan~
Smith: There he is, Hood. The man Marcus Welsh has tabbed as the future of OCW
Hood: What presence! What composure! Give this man the next OCW Title shot!
Smith: Calm down, Hood. He’s got to get through Alice, first.
Hood: Psshaw…that’s easy, breezy buddy
Smith: Try telling that to PerZag, Bob Grenier, Roach, Bradley Carrington…Alice isn’t a Hall of Famer because she’s cute, ya know
Hood: That’s EXACTLY why she’s in the Hall of Fame!
~Collins finally says ‘fuck it’ and he marches down the aisle toward the ring. These dirty, filthy, tactless fans reach over trying to touch King Infinity. He does his best to avoid them. He finally reaches ringside and pauses, looking up, through the ropes at his opponent. Alice is smiling, looking down at Collins. King Infinity takes a look around at all the ‘spooky’ ghosts. He shakes his head before marching up the steps and entering into the squared circle to another loud ovation~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…from Hell’s Kitchen, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs…he is the self-proclaimed King Infinity…please get on your feet and welcome the man that will lead OCW into 2019…ladies and gentlemen I give to you…Aidan Collins!!!
~Pyros go off all around the Mortuary. The four ring posts shoot pyro into the air. Alice is startled by this. Collins soaks in the pomp. A few of the spooky ghosts are SPOOKED by the explosions. They dodge falling sparks and embers, fearful they might catch fire. The fans, again, pop for the announcement of the heralded newcomer. Belvedere exits the ring leaving Alice and Aidan alone, ready to do battle. Collins stares Alice down. Alice leans forward in her corner, chuckling~
Smith: Oh Alice! Nothing can dim her spirit!
Hood: The fuck is that bitch laughing at?
Smith: She’s just happy to be alive, Hood!
Hood: She won’t be for much longer
~The bell rings! The crowd goes wild! Alice, in her natural element (an OCW ring), begins to flap her arms. She struts around the ring like Ric Flair if he were to, ya know, flap his arms like a bird. The crowd is “HOOTING” all the way. Collins, near the center of the ring, just watches. What the fuck has he gotten himself into, he’s probably wondering. Alice steps up to Collins after nearly square circling him and is about to let out an emphatic ‘HOOT’ in his face. He reaches out and grabs a handful of her hair, yanking back. His face is stern, it’s serious – this man isn’t fucking around. Alice extends her arms, trying to find something for support. The fans BOOO. Collins shoves Alice back, into her corner. She staggers, nearly falling over. She looks at Collins with far more hesitation than before. King Infinity remains steadfast in his pursuit to keep this match from turning into a freak show~
Smith: Collins is here to compete and win. Alice is here to enjoy her passion
Hood: What IS her passion, exactly?
Smith: Performing in front of her fans!
Hood: So, acting like an idiot to please morons…gotcha
~Alice holds her hands out and says “Okay, okay…let’s all just calm down!” Collins approaches her, eager to get this match underway. Knight has no choice. She lunges forward and meets Collins with a lock up! The crowd cheers! Collins bullies her into the corner by utilizing his strength and size advantage. There is no ref to break it so, while still locked up, he slings her out of the corner, releasing his hold. Alice flies halfway across the ring, slamming face first into the mat! The crowd BOOOOS! Collins heads her way without any wasted motion. Alice rolls toward the ropes and out of the ring, covering her nose and mouth with both hands. Aidan reaches the ropes and looks over the top rope, down at his opponent~
Smith: Alice is going to have to be quick and cunning if she’s going to stand a chance against King Infinity
Hood: Well I guess we may as well call this fucking thing before she dies
Smith: She can be quick!
Hood: Yea but you said quick AND cunning. We all know she’s not that…well unless you forgot the t
Smith: Ah! How dare you speak of her in such a manner!
~Alice backs away from the ring, creating some distance. She looks at her hands and is relieved to see no traces of blood. Her nose is red, though, from the impact. She bumps into GHOST! She turns around and jumps with fright! She quickly calms down and has a good laugh. She reaches over and yanks the sheet off to reveal…~
Smith: It’s Leo the High School Intern!
Hood: Why is she revealing these ghosts when Aidan is in total control?
Smith: Because she’s unpredictable!
Hood: Stupid and unpredictable are not the same thing
~Leo the High School intern rushes forward, grabbing Alice. He tries to throw her into the ring but he’s too weak. This is why he’s a 30 year old intern. He sucks at everything. Alice shoves him back and HOOTS right in his face! Leo, terrified of being hurt, leaps over the guard rail and runs away through the crowd, toward the exit. Before we know it he is gone. Alice holds a fist high in the air as though she’s just won a significant battle that will change lives. A lust filled fan at ringside points and yells “ALICE, BEHIND YOU!” Alice turns around and is face to chest with King Infinity. He shoves her against the guard rail! She hits HARD! Her back slams against the top of the railing. Aidan snares her by the hair and slings her recklessly toward the apron. She rolls in under the bottom rope~
Smith: Alice’s odds aren’t improving
Hood: They aren’t going to improve. Welsh doesn’t place that FACE label on just anyone
Smith: Look, I know the man is talent…but it’s…it’s Alice
Hood: And it’s about time she was put down. We’ve been plagued by her shenanigans for long enough!
~Collins starts to head back into the ring but hesitates. This has come so easily to King Infinity. It feels like he’s wrestling a teenager. He looks around at the ghosts. He steps down and makes his way toward the nearest one, un-ghosting it. The crowd gasps when they see – Cap Slock!~
Smith: I think King Infinity feels like he can win this match at any time…all he needs is a ref
Hood: He doesn’t FEEL…he KNOWS
Smith: Oh I so hope Alice makes a comeback and wins this thing! C’MON GIRL!
Hood: Oh shut your fucking face
~Cap Slock extends his hand and says “IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU KING INFINITY!” Collins has no time for this and blows Cap Slock off, heading for the next ghost. Cap Slock is heard saying “WELL THAT WAS A BIT OFF COLOR. BUT I WON’T TAKE OFFENSE TO IT.” He exits the ringside area and heads backstage. Aidan removes the sheet from another ghost! This time he staggers back a bit. It’s THE KNIFE MAN~
Smith: OCW’s medic SLASH mechanic!
Hood: Did we just grab every FREAK on the payroll and send them out there?
Smith: Well Zybala did say there had to be 8 ghosts. I mean you try and think of 8 people to put under those sheets
Hood: Good point
~The Knife Man apologizes profusely for any emotional drama his startling reveal may have caused. Collins waves the knife wielding, masked pacifist away and pauses for a moment. He hears something. He turns around to find Alice sprinting across the canvas. He backs away. She leaps through the ropes, grabs onto Aidan, spins around and drops him with a Tornado DDT on the outside!!! The mortuary erupts with an orgasmic ovation!!! The fans outside are going wild! Alice pops to her feet with a large smile plastered across her face. “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” becomes the organized cheer~
Smith: There ya go! Alright!
Hood: I fucking hate her SO MUCH
Smith: Why, because she might upset the debut of King Infinity?
Hood: I don’t think this broadcast is long enough for me to list my reasons…but, yes, that would be one of them
~The Knife Man nods at Alice…he’s probably smiling but the emotionless mask covering his face prevents us from knowing for sure. He leaves and heads backstage. Alice grabs Collins by the hair, pulling him back to his feet. She whips him into the steps where he’s met with a loud and painful greeting. Collins sits up with his back against the steps. Alice charges forward and drills him with a knee in the chest!!! She flips over the steps but somehow lands gracefully on the other side! She does a curtsy for the crowd who eats it up~
Smith: Isn’t she something?
Hood: She sure is
Smith: What grace! What fluidity! My goodness what a woman!
Hood: Anybody up for some Russian Roulette?
~Alice looks at the ghost nearest her. It’s a rather tall individual. She carefully moves forward and yanks the sheet away to reveal KNUX!! The crowd BOOOOS. Alice side steps Knux, moving further away from Collins. She backs away as Knux stalks her. She runs into another tall ghost. She turns around and this ghost rips its own sheet away to reveal BARRY MAN IS LOW. The crowd boos even louder!! Knux and Barry have Alice trapped. Behind them we see Aidan Collins back on his feet, holding his chest. He spots Alice and heads her way~
Smith: It’s Marcus Welsh’s security team! The fix is in!
Hood: Whew…got to protect your investment. Smart businessman!
Smith: Why can’t we just let this happen organically! May the best wrestler win!
Hood: Because the best wrestler NEVER wins in OCW!
~Aidan shoves Knux aside and goes after Alice. She throws a thumb at Aidan’s face. Aidan blocks her eye gouge attempt and he kicks her in the stomach! She doubles over. The crowd groans. Aidan hooks Alice around the waist…he lifts her up and he powerbombs her right into the apron!!! She hits with a sickening thud! She remains on the apron…her right leg and arm draped over the edge. Aidan shoves her back into the ring and slides in directly behind her~
Smith: This could be it…if we had a referee
Hood: He’s not fucking around any longer. King Infinity is about to put an end to the most loathsome, irritating creature since Gizmo from Gremlins
Smith: You hated Gizmo?
Hood: Fuck yea I did…guy was a total fucking buzzkill. Not to mention a rat
Smith: He was a Mogwai! Not a rat!
Hood: Not the ANIMAL! He ratted out his own species. It doesn’t get much worse than that, Smith
Smith: I will not listen to this heresy about Gizmo
~Knux and Barry separate, each manning a side of the ring opposite one another. Aiden is standing, back inside the ring. He grabs Alice and pulls her to her feet. He hooks her and tosses her over with a Northern Lights Suplex! He rolls his hips, gets back to his feet and drops her with a second Northern Lights Suplex!! The crowd continues to show their displeasure in the form of boos. Collins rotates his hips once more, gets back to his feet and drops Alice with a THIRD Northern Lights Suplex. He holds on for the pin but there is no ref. He realizes this pretty quickly and lets her go. He pops back to his feet showing a hint of frustration~
Smith: Aidan may have had the win there if a ref had been present
Hood: Stupid ass stipulation
Smith: He calls the triple rolling Northern Lights Suplexes The 3-Some…
Hood: Now there’s something I can get into
~Collins scans the three ghosts at ringside. One is quite larger than the other two. The larger ghost is standing next to a smaller ghost…or, well, nearby. The third, smallish ghost is across the ring from the other two. He remains in the ring and grabs Alice by the hair, yanking her to her feet. He hoists her onto his shoulders and drops her to the mat with an Olympic Slam!! The ring shakes from impact. He returns to his feet and looks around. He kicks Alice with his foot in a very egotistic manner. Like a predator playing with its much weaker prey~
Smith: There’s no doubt about it that when this match has remained inside the ring Aidan Collins has been the vastly superior competitor
Hood: Man he would have won this fucking thing HOURS ago if it weren’t for this WEAK ASS STIPULATION
Smith: Hours ago? We weren’t even HERE hours ago. Stop being so dramatic!
Hood: I can’t help it! Collins should have won this by now! I’ve seen this story a million times, Smith. Leave the door open for Alice and she’ll sneak in and use your restroom when you’re not looking. And you know what the worst part is? She doesn’t even flush
Smith: That’s disgusting. Please refrain from talking about her in that manner moving forward
~King Infinity doesn’t relent. He pulls Alice back to her feet and hooks her for what appears to be a suplex. He lifts her up and holds her in the air. He’s got her up there for a few seconds before dropping her directly on top of her head with a Brainbuster!!! The crowd groans…they express sadness on their stupid faces. A man dressed as an owl lets out a very depressed ‘hoot’. They are witnessing decimation~
Smith: I hate to say this…but maybe we should just end it
Hood: Now you’re talking!
Smith: That brainbuster was devastating
Hood: I call it a headsmasher when it’s performed on Alice. She’s got no brain to bust
~Collins makes his way toward the ropes. He hops though the rope and out of the ring. He looks at the two ghosts nearby. He heads for the much shorter ghost figuring that referees aren’t nearly as physically impressive as that one ghost appears to be. He reaches out and removes the sheet from the smaller ghost. He’s about to head into the ring without even looking at who’s under the sheet when a HUGE ovation rocks the Mortuary. Collins pauses and turns around to see MIKE ZYBALA~
Smith: It’s Commissioner Zybala!
Hood: What is that IDIOT doing out here! Security!
Smith: He’s out here to ensure that Welsh doesn’t screw Alice over! Way to go, Mike!
Hood: This fucking guy literally ruins EVERYTHING
~Collins lunges at Zybala with a lariat. Zybala ducks!! Collins turns around. Zybala throws a SUPERKICK! at Aidan! King Infinity backs away, managing to not trip over the steps. He reaches over and grabs Barry, shoving him at Mike. Zybala superkicks the SHIT out of Barry Man is Low, knocking him out! The crowd is on their feet, going crazy. Knux blindsides Zybala from behind. The crowd stops cheering…they start to boo. Collins slides back into the ring~
Smith: Yes! Alright! Equality, Justice…FAIRNESS
Hood: Fucking guy out here throwing his stupid foot at people. Fire him, Welsh! Fire him right now!
Smith: It’s been established that Welsh CANNOT fire that man
~King Infinity gets to his feet in the ring. He’s still distracted from Zybala’s appearance. Alice pops to her feet and she hooks him for a Small Package! She rolls him over but lets go! She pops to her feet. Collins does as well and Alice jumps into the air, grabs the back of Aidan’s head and slams him face first into the mat with a facebuster!!! Aidan hits hard and he flops over onto his back! The fans are going wild! Alice returns to her feet…she stumbles into a corner and holds onto her neck, showing the effects of Aidan’s assault from earlier. We spot Zybala in the background superkicking Knux!!! Knux goes down! Welsh’s security is OUT. It’s just Alice and Zybala with Collins on the mat~
Smith: And how the tables have turned! Aidan Collins is the underdog at this juncture
Hood: You know that part about lacking nice things?
Smith: I guess
Hood: WELL THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS
~Zybala sees Collins down. He runs toward the massive ghost. He sizes the ghost up and runs around it, heading for the other, smaller ghost. Aidan gets to one knee. He returns to his feet, dazed. Alice hurries toward him and smacks him with some jabs into the jaw. King Infinity remains stunned. Alice leaps into the air, drilling Collins with a standing dropkick!! He falls into the corner! The crowd is jumping up and down! The new FACE is in peril! Zybala reaches the other ghost and rips the sheet off to reveal SCRUFF!!! The crowd gets even louder! Alice runs forward and leaps into the air, placing her knees into Aidan’s face. She falls back with a Codebreaker and transitions it into a Monkey Flip, tossing Aidan into the center of the ring! She pops back up and does a little HOOTING for the fans! She hits the ropes! Scruff slides in, ready to do work. She bounces off the ropes and performs ROLLING THUNDER landing on top of Collins!! The Mortuary nearly explodes! She makes the cover! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!!
Smith: What?!
Hood: YES! Fuck yes!
Smith: I KNEW that was it…that had to be it!
Hood: This man is everything he was built up to be! Welsh is a genius!
~Alice looks at Scruff. Scruff shrugs. She looks to Zybala. He encourages her to keep at it. Knight nods…she’s no quitter! She stands and gets Aidan to his feet. She kicks him in the gut and tries for the double underhook…she’s looking for THE APACHE. Aidan has obviously scouted this and shoves her away. Alice’s body hits the ropes and ricochets off. Collins stands up, jumps and drills her in the face with a Bicycle Kick!!! Alice’s body snaps backward onto the mat. Collins falls to one knee, shaking his head, still fazed from her earlier offensive barrage~
Smith: No! Dang it!
Hood: He’s the man, Smith. We’ve got another Meyhu on our hands!
Smith: Alice has never faced Meyhu, by the way. Are you saying Meyhu would beat her?
Hood: Meyhu would beat anyone not named King Infinity
~Alice sits up and gets to her feet. Aidan isn’t far behind. Alice throws a forearm into Aidan’s chin. It stuns him. She delivers a roundhouse kick to the side of his head! He falters to one knee. Alice runs into the ropes and bounces off…she attempts a Shining Wizard but Aidan catches her leg! He stands with her in the CATAPULT position. He falls back and she springs forward toward the corner! She lands on her feet! The crowd goes wild! Zybala jump up and down, clapping. She climbs to the top rope with her back to Aidan~
Smith: A moonsault perhaps?
Hood: Ugh
~Aidan rushes forward and YANKS her feet out from under her. Alice falls face first…he head SMACKS against the top of the ring post with a loud PING! The crowd gasps in horror. Zybala hops onto the apron with concern. Her body goes limp. She falls down to the mat, landing awkwardly. Aidan leans into the ropes, looking down at her. Scruff checks to see if she’s okay~
Smith: Oh no!
Hood: Bitch is dead! YES!
Smith: C’mon, Alice! Get up! My gosh she might have a serious concussion, Hood. We may need to stop this
Hood: Look at you so quick to protect your precious little princess. Fuck her! I hope she knocked herself retarded…or well more retarded than she already was
~Scruff looks like he’s about to call for the bell. Alice is obviously knocked out. Collins walks over and shoves Scruff away! The crowd BOOS! King Infinity grabs Alice by the arm, pulling her up. He has to leverage her body against his to keep her standing. Her legs are wet noodles. Zybala yells “DON’T YOU DO IT” Collins stares right at Zybala as he thrust Alice back and then pulls her forward, drilling her with a Discus Lariat!!! She crumbles to the mat. King Infinity makes the arrogant cover with Scruff administering the count so that Alice can get some help~
1!
2!
3!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner….“KING INFINITY” AIDAN COLLINS!!!!!
Smith: What a disgusting man!
Hood: Come on now…what does he call that move, do your job, Smith!
Smith: I refuse!
Hood: Well lucky for you and the fans that I happen to know the name of that move. Aidan Collins calls that Hell’s Kaleidoscope and I’m sure we’ll be seeing him win many…MANY matches with that in the future
~Collins pops to his feet. He demands that Scruff raise his hand. Scruff has no choice…either raise this man’s hand or get punched by this man’s fist. Collins holds his head high. Zybala steps into the ring and throws a SUPERKICK! at Aidan once again!! Aidan, displaying tremendous quickness, brings his hand down and grabs onto Zybala’s foot!! Zybala hops on one leg, trapped. Collins twists Zybala around, hooks him and tosses him across the ring with a German Suplex!!! Zybala lands right on his head…he rolls out of the ring. The crowd continues to boo King Infinity. He stands over Alice. Scruff begs him to leave her alone. Aidan shoves Scruff away~
Smith: No more! No more! We get it, alright? You won! You’re good! You’re King Infinity! Now please leave her alone!
Hood: Somebody sounds like they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown
~Collins picks Alice up. It’s all dead weight. She simply cannot defend herself. He hoists her over his shoulder. He looks directly into the ‘hard cam’. The crowd pleads with him to stop. From behind we see the giant white ghost enter into the ring~
Smith: It’s the eighth and final ghost! The big one! Who is it?
Hood: MORE FUCKING GHOSTS? WILL IT NEVER END?!
~The ghost stands behind Collins and removes the sheet. The crowd goes wild!! Aidan…the arrogant bastard that he is thinks they have finally SEEN THE LIGHT and are cheering him. But, nope, they are cheering the man who stands behind King Infinity~
Smith: Hood! It’s MARIO MAURAKO!
Hood: The hell is HE doing here?! Doesn’t he have a tag team partner to hang out with?!
Smith: The only TWO time OCW Hall of Famer is here! He’s back! He’s seen ENOUGH of King Infinity!
Hood: Guy is probably offended because Collins is yet another person who will win the one title Maurako never could
~Maurako yanks Alice off of Aidan’s shoulder and gently drops her to the mat. Aidan turns around, furious. He wants to know what the hell is going on. Mario responds with a stiff right hand into the forehead of King Infinity! The crowd goes “OOOHHH” in correspondence with the punch! Maurako hits him again! Collins stumbles into the ropes. Mario charges forward and clotheslines Aidan over the top rope!! Aidan lands on his feet, falling back into the guardrail. The crowd goes wild! They chant “MARIO!”~
Smith: Yes! Do the right thing, Mario! Way to go! That’s what being a Hall of Famer in OCW is all about!
Hood: His standing in the Hall of Fame should be reconsidered after that
Smith: No way! He continues to cement his legendary status!
~Aidan straightens up and looks at Mario. Maurako motions for him to step back in. King Infinity is about to when Knux and Barry rush in, holding him back! Aidan tries to fight away. He’s almost loose when the crowd boos! We see Marcus Welsh run down to ringside. He gets in between Aidan and the ring and begins talking with him. Aidan, breathing heavily and staring daggers at Maurako, pauses to listen, albeit loosely. Welsh pats him on the chest and motions that they should go. The fans are irate. They want Aidan in the ring with Mario~
Smith: If he’s so good…let him go!
Hood: No way, man. That’s King Infinity. You’ve got to preserve him. Plus you can’t just GIVE Maurako and Collins away tonight. That shit is a HUGE payday, man
Smith: Such disgusting rationale
~Collins acquiesces and decides to exit ringside. He continues glaring up at Maurako. Mario turns his attention from King Infinity and down to Alice. He kneels next to the fellow Hall of Famer. Zybala rolls back into the ring. He sees Maurako and pats him on the back. Collins, Welsh, Knux, and Barry exit through the curtain to backstage. Mario scoops Alice up in his arms. Zybala parts the ropes. Mario steps through and walks down the staircase. The crowd applauds his chivalry. A ‘MARIO!’ chant sounds out~
Smith: Alice is in bad shape.
Hood: She gets concussed a lot, doesn’t she?
Smith: It’s happened a few times before
~Mario continues to carry Alice. Zybala saddles up next to Mario, patting him on the back. He also rubs the back of his head and neck, showing pain from the German Suplex he suffered earlier. The trio exit with the fans clapping. They are hopeful that Alice will be okay~
Smith: Mario Maurako is back, that’s the good news. The bad news is that Alice Knight has suffered a nasty looking head injury
Hood: None of that matters. What matters is that King Infinity won his debut match against a Hall of Famer! This guy is L-E-G-I-T
Smith: The man is talented, I’ll give him that. Folks, we’re going to cut to the outside team for a moment while I compose myself. I’m a bit shaken from what just took place
Hood: Such a fucking pussy
~We cut outside the Mortuary where Who’Re is fighting off a couple of very bullish looking women. AKB, meanwhile, is dissecting the Serial Thrillers promo video from earlier in the evening. He’s saving screen shots of various clips~
Who’Re: Alpha, a little help over here?
~Who’Re is rethinking her choice of outfit as these hormone driven women who shower once a week get closer and closer to her in the hopes of opening her eyes to a new way of life. AKB, as if on instinct, heads her way with his eyes locked onto the screen of his phone~
AKB: Sure, sure, I’m coming…but you’ve got to do something for me.
Who’Re: For the last time, AKB…I’m not that kind of woman!
AKB: Don’t I know that! But I’m speaking about some of the chicks in this video. Maybe you can go hunt them down for me I’d like to…ya know, interview them.
~AKB hands the phone over and in doing so notices the women trying to get into Who’Re’s man pants. He walks over to them and tells some inappropriate jokes about gender inequality and patriarchal society. They are appalled. They spit at him and walk away. AKB wipes some of the spit from his head and turns to Who’Re who appears relieved~
AKB: See? It wasn’t that hard
Who’Re: Thanks, Alpha!
AKB: Now just find me a few of the women in that video…especially the ones that look super drunk and we’ll be even.
~A buzzer goes off! The crowd goes wild. AKB and Who’Re turn to the front of The Mortuary to see the digital clock reading 12! A bunch of Alice Knight fans are seen exiting, in tears. Twelve replacements eagerly await their chance to enter. They are dressed in various costumes…we recognize a Jacob Hotstuff, a Curt Canon, and a Hellraven fan. The others are either dressed so shittily that it’s impossible to tell who they are OR they aren’t visible enough to make out. Regardless, they are soon permitted entry into The Mortuary~
Who’Re: Those poor Alice Knight fans
AKB: Perhaps they should find a new wrestler to be a fan of. Aidan Collins sounds like a good choice. I think those people need to reevaluate their life choices
Who’Re: I guess…well folks as you can see the party is still raging out here! Now I’m told we’re going to cut to some footage featuring Mike Harrison’s challenger…the masked fan favorite, OGDA!
~Somewhere in New Orleans, the biggest, Baddest little reporter on the face of the planet is on the scene dressed up as Clark Kent, reporter for The Planet newspaper and tonight he is moonlighting as a reporter for the OCW.~
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “Good evening wrestling fans! I am the Bad Ass One, Mister ten foot…”
“JAMES!”
~”Management” barks off camera.~
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “James Kelloggs here on location somewhere in the heart of the city, somewhere in New Orleans! Where in a couple of minutes the OCW Craze Championship will be on the line as Mike Harrison will defend his title against a man of the people, a man many are pulling for. You can hear chants for him in the background, They are excited for this Halloween Neighborhood Brawl match! I am of course talking about OGDA! Bester, if you may.”
~James, all 4 feet of him, doesn’t have his step stool and OGDA towers over him. OGDA is wearing blue jeans tonight rather than his white trunks, Lee brand of jeans, a white smiley face logo tee and of course, his white mask.~
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “OGDA! In a matter of minutes, the bell will ring, Mike Harrison is going to launch a sneak attack and just destroy you! Mike Harrison is not only going to beat you, but embarrass you in this street fight. He is, in a matter of ten second, will have locked in the fact that he is indeed the Best in the World! What say you?”
~OGDA looks down at James with a look of “Really? Are you kidding me?” look on his face. He glances at the camera and at Management who is standing by behind camera.~
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “HA! Got ya! Oh man, the look on your face! It was priceless! You were completely dumbfounded!”
OGDA: “Was that a trick Mister Kelloggs?”
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “Yup! Sure was?”
OGDA: “Well then, in that case.”
~OGDA kneels down next to James and looks right into his blood shot eyes.~
OGDA: “It’s going to be my treat, to take that Craze Championship from him. Now.”
~OGDA pats James on the top of his head.~
OGDA: “You stay here where you’ll be out of harm's way. The adults are about to get a tad bit violent and I wouldn’t want one of my Little Buddies to get caught in the crossfire.”
~James’ face gets a red and he’s pissed.~
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “I hate you.”
OGDA: “HA! That was a TRICK Mister Kelloggs! I got you!”
“Clark Kent” Kelloggs: “I still hate you!”
OGDA: “Okay, Time to go…”
~OGDA stands up and crack his knuckles.~
OGDA: “And make a new buddy.”
~OGDA walks off and James glares in his direction as we cut away…..~
Singles Match
Hellraven (3-3) vs. Vossler (1-0)
~The Mortuary is still ROCKING after that opening bout. They love them some Alice Knight…but, man, that Aidan Collins…he’s already proving to be exactly what he was billed. But it’s time to move on and move on we shall! Two of the most talented young stars in OCW are about to compete. Fans are rushing to the kegs to fill up their solo cups before this match can begin. We see a group of girls dressed up, inspired by HellRaven! They are exceptionally aggressive in wanting this match to begin. Some ‘nerd’ wrestling fans are spotted with folded arms…they have the name “Vossler” on their shirts with an X going through it. We’re not sure what this is all about. Anyway, Belvedere clears his throat and the crowd goes wild~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our next match this evening! This match is a singles match and it is scheduled for one fall!!
~The crowd goes wild!! The lights flash momentarily as the opening riff to "Playing The Saint" by Digital Summer begins to play. As the song picks up, Vossler appears from behind the trash back ‘curtain’. He quickly fist bumps the floor below him as he poses before beginning a confident march down to the ring~
Belvedere : "Introducing first, weighing in at 217 pounds. Hailing proudly from London, England. He is... VOOOOOSSSLEEEERRRRRRRRRR!"
~Vossler smiles confidently in his march as he mouths along the lyric 'Maybe I want you to hate me' from his theme song. The crowd boos and cheers him edging towards louder boos than cheers. This seemingly does not appear to faze Vossler who slides under the ring ropes from one side of the apron to the other to pose~
Smith: Here is the man known as Vossler. He’s got a ton of potential, Hood
Hood: He came in and he went straight after Hellraven. You have to give the man credit. He found a target and didn’t hesitate
Smith: Indeed. But, can he finish the job? Hellraven is no pushover. She’s one of the most talented youngsters we’ve got one the roster
~Vossler swiftly enters the ring only to reach out to the crowd through the top and middle rope shouting various things and bobbing along to his theme song. With one quick turn, he slides on his knee to the closest corner and kneels. The sounds of a thunderstorm echo across the Mortuary speakers as purplish-blue spotlights come to life near the entrance. At their centre, head down, arms folded, is a tall and slender figure, their long hair falling forward onto their face and partially obscuring it~
Smith: And here comes Hellraven!
Hood: She’s one irascible bitch
Smith: Hey!
~The figure remains in this position until a moment later, when the rainstorm transitions into the iconic opening guitar lead to Slayer's 'Raining Blood'. At the same time as this transition occurs, the blue spotlights go out, leaving the house lights to illuminate what is now clearly seen to be a young woman. As the riff begins, she uncrosses her arms, holding them out to each side in a double show of the metal horns as she indulges in a spot of headbanging~
Belvedere: And, his opponent….from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’7 and weighing in at 130lbs…Hellraven!!!
~Then, as the legendary lead gives way to mid-tempo riffing, the girl makes her way down the ramp, keeping her focus on the ring but not neglecting the occasional outstretched hand in her path. Once at ringside, she scales the steel steps and lets herself in through the middle rope. From there, she makes her way across the mat to the furthest turnbuckle and slumps down into a seated position, her arms resting on her knees~
Smith: This is arguably the most underrated match on the show. Both these competitors have star potential.
Hood: Well Vossler is the aggressor, obviously. Hellraven is in defense mode after being attacked
Smith: Yep…can she hold off the aggressive Vossler or will the newcomer get what he desires tonight?
Hood: I don’t fucking know. How about you quit yapping so we can find out!
~Belvedere exits. The bell rings. Hellraven stands and calmly removes her leather jacket, dropping it through the ropes, into the arms of an OCW employee. Vossler stands, ready for combat. We hear a few fans at ringside jeering the newcomer. One of them yells out “HEY VOSSLER! HOW MUCH DID YOU OFFER OCW SO THEY’D LET YOU WIN THIS MATCH?!” Vossler ignores them. Hellraven seems curious~
Smith: Some internet “smart” fans at ringside trying to get under Vossler’s skin
Hood: If that kinda shit bothers him then he isn’t made for this business
Smith: I’d agree and, so far, he’s unfazed
~Hellraven starts to mockingly ask Vossler what the fans are talking about. Vossler does his best to stave off the ridicule. Hellraven continues to scrape away at Vossler’s equanimity, hoping to find a crack. She’s evidently heard that Vossler has a tendency to lose his patience in these types of situations. So she continues to inquire in a demonstrative manner. Vossler approaches her. He remains stern. He remains focused on the task at hand with the eighteen year old prodigy continues to play games~
Smith: Rumors have been swirling online that Vossler has had an issue with losing in the past. Some have gone so far as to accuse the man of demanding wins with management
Hood: Well we all know that doesn’t fly here in OCW
Smith: Of course…but these fans seem to be taking gossip and turning it into fact
Hood: Well they are wrestling fans…and wrestling fans are idiots
Smith: Hood does NOT speak for OCW, fans
~Hellraven continues to deride. It’s clear Vossler is growing tired of this charade. I mean, who wouldn’t? Hellraven adds insult to injury by laying down on the mat and offering Vossler the chance to pin her. Hellraven’s stomach jiggles as she can’t suppress her laughter. Vossler looks around, frustrated. The ‘smart’ fans at ringside are going wild and yelling insults. Vossler’s jaw tightens…his head shakes…he lifts his boot up and he kicks Hellraven right in the face!!! The entire crowd boos! Hellraven rolls onto all fours, covering her face. Vossler runs up and soccer kicks her in the gut!!! Raven flips onto her back…she keeps her momentum going, rolling under the ropes, to the apron before sliding to the floor. She lands on her feet and stumbles into the barricade, looking for support~
Smith: Vossler has had enough of the ridicule!
Hood: Why are these idiots booing? They were bullying the man! He’s simply fighting back!
Smith: Because they like Hellraven…it’s never easy seeing an 18 year old woman getting kicked in the face
Hood: WEAK ASS SOCIETY
~Raven is standing near the ‘smart’ fans. They shout words of encouragement to her. Telling her not to succumb to Vossler. It’s unclear if she’s listening. She simply appears to be in discomfort. Vossler watches all of this from inside the ring. An idea springs to mind. He runs across the ring…he hits the ropes…he charges toward the side of the ring and leaps over the ropes with somersault senton!!! He clips Raven! The brunt of his impact is absorbed by the ‘smart’ fans! He takes them down while falling into the crowd! The fans nearby are quiet, at first. But, once they see what Vossler has done to his biggest detractors in the crowd they start cheering his offense! Vossler pops back to his feet. He’s not hurt because the group of fans he landed on were quite fat…lots of cushion~
Smith: And Vossler just took out the loud mouth, idiotic fans in the front row!
Hood: Way to go, Vossler! That’s a smart man, too. He made it ‘look’ like he was trying to hit Raven
Smith: Indeed he did…I’m not sure it can be 100% proven that his aim were those fans.
Hood: And, ya know, the fans around him are cheering for the guy now. So I have to take what I said back. Not all wrestling fans are idiots. Only almost all of them are
Smith: How about you just quit commenting on the intelligence of wrestling fans?
Hood: You will not suppress my 13th amendment rights!
Smith: You should really brush up on your American history
~Vossler works his way back to the barricade. In doing so he takes a few ‘aggressive’ steps which just happen to come into contact with the heads, groins, and knees of the already injured ‘smart’ fans. Vossler reaches the barricade and Scruff appears. He yells at him for attacking the fans. Vossler holds his hands up as if to say he’s innocent. Scruff knows he did it on purpose. Vossler argues that he simply overshot the landing due to the size of the venue. Scruff sighs and just asks Vossler to get out of the crowd. Vossler places one foot over the guardrail when a foot rises up and kicks him in the face!! It belongs to Hellraven! She throws a well-placed superkick into the side of Vossler’s face! He slumps and slides off the guardrail, landing roughly back inside the ring area~
Smith: What a kick! Hellraven might have dislocated Vossler’s jaw with that one
Hood: Fuckin Scruff…guy zones out 23 hours of the day but managed to figure out Vossler hit those fans on purpose?
Smith: I think Scruff’s alertness has improved over the years
Hood: That’s not saying much
~Raven is all over Vossler with short forearms and punches. She grabs the sides of Vossler’s head and repeatedly bangs the back of it against the floor! Most of the fans cheer her rabid violence. Scruff slides back into the ring and begins to administer a count. He yells out “ONE!” Hellraven hears, very much aware of the situation. She pulls Vossler to his feet and slams him against the guardrail by thrusting a shoulder into his gut. She stands up and throws a bunch of short jabs at Vossler’s chin. Scruff yells out “FIVE!” He’s halfway to ten – for those of you who can’t count. Scruff yells out “SEVEN!” Gosh how time flies. Raven grabs Vossler by the hair and slings him toward the ring. He rolls in under the bottom rope. She takes a second to motion toward the crowd…they go wild. A ‘RAVEN’ chant emerges. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” She turns and hurries back to the ring. She hops up onto the apron. Scruff yells “NINE!” Vossler suddenly kips up. Raven is climbing through the ropes…he rushes forward, grabs her by the head…her legs are propped up on the middle rope. Vossler falls back and drops her with a draping DDT! The crowd boos! Vossler remains on his back. Raven is face down. Scruff’s count is broken just before ten~
Smith: Oh man! What a move by Vossler!
Hood: Hellraven should have taken the count out
Smith: I’m not sure she was fully aware of the situation…that or she wants to beat this man inside the ring. Either conclusion is plausible
Hood: I’m going to go with Option C….she’s a dumb blonde
~Vossler slowly sits up. It becomes apparent his earlier kip up was more adrenaline than anything else. He gets to his feet and relaxes in the nearest corner for a moment. Raven starts to do a push up. She gets to all fours. Vossler stands upright, ready to continue his attack. Hellraven finally gets to her feet, holding her head. Vossler charges forward and takes her down with a Lariat!! Hellraven snaps backward, landing roughly on the mat. She tries to get back up, showing determination. Vossler snares her around the waist, from behind. He deadlifts her off the mat and drops her on her head with a German Suplex!! He bridges into a pin…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Strong kick out by Hellraven! She’s hanging in there
Hood: Looks like the talent of Vossler is about to take over
Smith: I would not underestimate the fight within Hellraven.
~Vossler is back to his feet. He moves with great purpose. He snares a handful of Hellraven’s hair and tosses her into the corner. She rams shoulder first into the middle buckle. He grabs her by the hair again, yanking back. She’s upright. He spins her around and shoves her into the corner. He delivers a vicious knife edged chop to her chest! She grimaces, leaning forward. Vossler straightens her up again. He reaches back…but Raven throws a quick knee that lands right beneath his chest. Vossler gasps for air! His eyes widen. He stumbles back. Raven grabs Vossler by the back of his head and smacks him with a knee lift!!! Vossler stumbles back into the middle of the ring, falling to one knee. His head is facing the ground. He coughs, failing to catch his breath. Raven yells and charges forward with a flying knee to the side of Vossler’s head!!! He flips over onto his back!! He appears to be out! The crowd is going wild! Raven crawls on top of Vossler, tossing her arm over his chest. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP
Smith: Three vicious knee strikes and the man manages to kick out!
Hood: Yea…and all you’ll talk about is how tough Hellraven is. What about this Vossler guy?
Smith: Calling one person tough doesn’t mean the other is weak, Hood
Hood: Stop trying to talk your way out of it. You think Vossler is a pussy, just admit it!
Smith: I do not!
~Raven is slow to her feet. She’s feeling the effects of the match. She may be young but she’s lithe, slender. She can only take so much punishment. She leans against the ropes, recuperating. Vossler struggles to his feet. Raven focuses and begins to generate the necessary energy for another move. She’s poised to pounce. Vossler is standing. He turns to face Raven. She charges forward with a bicycle kick!! Vossler catches her!! Vossler tosses her over her head with a Capture Suplex!!! Raven lands on her back hard! She arches her back, yelling in pain! Vossler sits up, rubbing the side of his head where the knee struck earlier. The crowd continues to boo the newcomer~
Smith: Oh man…poor Hellraven
Hood: I think she needs to bulk up. Maybe get on a steroid regimen
Smith: How could you suggest something like that to an eighteen year old?
Hood: I don’t know, I just said it. Wasn’t like it was that difficult to say, honestly
~Vossler is back on his feet. Raven is crawling toward the ropes. She grabs the bottom rope but is soon pulled away by the stronger Vossler. He drags her into the center of the ring. She rolls onto her back and tries to kick him away. He bends over to restrain her. She reaches up and hooks Vossler by the head – a front face lock. Vossler tries to stand. Raven clamps down, trying to cut off his oxygen. Vossler manages to get his hands under Raven. He tosses her up. She loses her grip…Vossler hooks her for a powerbomb and he charges forward, tossing her into the top buckle with a powerbomb!! Raven’s neck snaps back, violently. She staggers forward. Vossler kicks her in the gut, snares her, spins around and drops her with a sitout powerbomb! He holds on for the pin! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3…NO! Kick out!!
Smith: The kid kicked out!
Hood: Son of a bitch!
Smith: I told you, she’s got guts!
Hood: Well it’s time to spill those guts all over the mat
Smith: Ew
~Vossler slaps the mat with an open palm. He looks in the direction of Scruff. He doesn’t say it but we can tell he’s questioning the integrity of that count. He doesn’t linger too long. He grabs Raven by the hair and yanks her to her feet. She leans head first into his abdomen. It appears she’d fall face first to the mat if he moved. Vossler cracks a half smile~
Smith: Oh no! She’s in prime position for Vossler to drop her with the Eclipse!
Hood: Good night, sweet heart
Smith: Poor Hellraven…she’s going to take this loss so hard
Hood: Tough shit
~Vossler grasps Hellraven aggressively. He hooks her for a pumphandle slam. Raven continues to hang, limply. Vossler hoists Hellraven up onto his shoulders before seamlessly transitioning into a Death Valley Driver. He tosses Raven off his shoulders…but Raven manages to manipulate her position while in midair…she grabs the unsuspecting Vossler’s head and hits him with a STUNNER!!! Vossler staggers backward, falling through the ropes onto the apron!! The crowd goes wild!! Raven falls onto her back, staring up into the web covered chandelier. The fans chant “RAVEN! RAVEN! RAVEN!”~
Smith: What a counter! Hellraven is back in this thing!
Hood: Why won’t this woman stay down! Let it end, Raven! Go out, put a fuck ton of makeup on, get laid and enjoy the rest of the evening!
Smith: She’s a competitor, Hood! She’s here to win and prove herself
Hood: A lot of good that will do her if she’s braindead by the end of the match
~Vossler returns to his feet on the apron. He leans against the ropes blinking rapidly, shaking his head, trying to regain his senses. Raven is on one knee. She spots Vossler and feels a sense of urgency. She’s got the man shaken. She’s got a window of opportunity. She springs forward and sprints toward Vossler. She goes for a spear through the ropes. Vossler dodges! Raven manages to keep from diving all the way out of the ring…but it leaves her in a precarious position. She’s hanging atop the middle rope…half way in, halfway out. Vossler takes advantage by drilling Raven in the side of the head with a knee!! He hits her with a knee again and again and again until Raven is hanging limply across the middle rope, her blonde hair covering her face. Vossler slips back into the ring, through the ropes and grabs Raven by the waist. He hoist her up and drops her with a German Suplex! He bridges into a pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Hellraven avoids defeat…but barely
Hood: She’s too impetuous, Smith. Too young and overeager. Look before you leap, woman
Smith: Her youth is playing a role in this match, no doubt
~Vossler shows frustration. He feels as though this match should be over. But this stupid, young woman keeps kicking out and fighting back. Vossler pops back to his feet, veteran enough to understand that he can’t let his frustrations linger. Vossler snares Raven by her blonde hair and knees her in the gut. She doubles over. He hooks her around the waist for a powerbomb. He lifts her up…at the apex of the move she head butts Vossler! His grip loosens…she slides head first down his back and tries to pull him over for a pin. Vossler reaches down and grabs her by the throat, yanking her off the mat, into the air and back down to the mat with a Chokebomb! He holds on for the pin! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3…NO! Shoulder Up!
Smith: She kicks out again!! What resiliency!
Hood: Oh man Vossler won’t be happy about this
Smith: His frustrations are growing with each passing second
~Vossler returns to his feet, eyeing Scruff. Scruff holds up two fingers. Vossler shakes his head, disagreeing with the count. Raven is on all fours, trying to get to her feet. Vossler throws a stiff kick into her ribs. She flips onto her back, yelling out in pain, clutching her ribcage. Vossler drops an elbow across her throat, ceasing her cries as she reaches up, grasping at her throat. Vossler sits up, looking confident~
Smith: Vossler has controlled most of this match. We’re seeing why he came in with such hype
Hood: Yep, he’s just about to shut this whiny bitch up
Smith: How can you say such rude things? She’s a kid, Hood!
Hood: Then send her to the local community college. Just get her away from me!
~Vossler pops back to his feet and grabs Raven by the hair. He slaps her across the face. She leans backward. She sways on her feet, about to fall over. Vossler snares her by the chin and yells in her face. He disrespects her and questions how she could ever have expected to compete with someone like him. He places his palm under her chin and shoves her back. She spins around after being shoved and DRILLS Vossler with a discus lariat!!! Vossler falls to the mat! Raven front first onto the mat. The crowd goes wild! Vossler is down! He’s not moving! The fans urge Raven to pin him…Scruff is in position~
Smith: Quoth the Raven! Quoth the Raven!
Hood: Where? I don’t see any ravens?!
Smith: The discus lariat! Hellraven just blasted Vossler with her finisher Quoth the Raven! All she has to do is cover him and this match is hers!
Hood: Ah damnit! C’mon, Vossler…get your shit together, man!
~Hellraven looks over to see the heaving chest of Vossler. She snaps to and crawls over as fast as she can. She tosses her arm over Vossler’s chest. Scruff drops down to make the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: NO!!!
Hood: Haha, yes! She’s fucked now! Vossler is the man!
Smith: I thought that was it! It took her too long to make the cover
Hood: That’s because she’s a woman and women are WEAK ASS
Smith: They are NOT
~Raven rolls over, holding her face in her hands. She thought she had it! The fans are all disappointed…they can’t believe it! Vossler rolls onto his side, eyes wide. He managed to escape certain defeat. He reaches out and snares the ropes and works his way to his feet. Hellraven returns to her feet. Being young she’s able to quickly refocus her energy. Vossler’s back is to Hellraven. He turns around, unsuspecting. Raven charges forward and is met with a knee lift into the face!!! Hellraven goes limp and falls into Vossler. He hugs Raven, spins around and drops her with a Belly to Belly Suplex!! Raven is flat on her back as Vossler works to get back to his feet~
Smith: Ugh…poor Hellraven
Hood: She had her chance, Smith but she fucked up and decided to be all lazy and hang out on the mat rather than cover the guy
Smith: Please! She’s taken so much punishment in this match is a miracle that she’s still in this
Hood: Get off your knees, Smith
~Vossler yanks Raven up and gains wrist control. He throws a few stiff shoulders into the much lighter frame of Hellraven. Her body is jarred after each one. She’s pretty much out on her feet. She stumbles into Vossler, causing him to back up a bit. He finds himself near a corner. He knees her in the sternum. She doubles over. He hooks a pumphandle! He’s looking for his pumphandle into a Death Valley Driver. He lifts her up onto his shoulders…she reaches out in desperation and grabs the ropes near the corner! She wiggles and writhes. He can’t pull her away. She manages to get off his shoulders and land on the apron. Vossler turns around, furious. Raven reaches out and grabs him by the back of the head…she leaps up and yanks Vossler’s head down, causing his throat to crash into the top rope! She slides back into the ring, seamlessly between his legs. Vossler stumbles back, holding his throat into the corner. Raven pops to her feet…she yells out and runs for the ropes…she bounces off, charges at Vossler and DRILLS him in the face with a Corner Yakuza Kick!!! Vossler spins around, falling onto his back!! Raven jumps on him for the pin! The crowd is going wild! Scruff slides in and makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…HELLRAVEN!!!!!
Smith: She did it! She did it! Hellraven just upset Vossler!
Hood: And now I hate everything
Smith: What a win! My gosh the kid did it! She will be celebrating tonight!
Hood: And this is why we can’t have nice things…seriously, HELLRAVEN? Fuckin hell
Smith: Way to go, kid! You deserve it! Here’s hoping this is a launching pad to great things for this youngster…nobody wants it more than she does
Hood: And the night was off to SUCH a promising start with King Infinity. Ugh, I need a drink
~When we last seen Nanook and his motley crew of rejects, err, I mean the next OCW Tag Team Champions. Double J Joe Jones has just made another bet with him, this time doubling down on the previous bet they made, throwing in OGDA’s contract and the contract to “His new guy”, whom, would face the The Captain and the newly minted Sarge in a handicapped match.~
~Nanook wanted to take the bet, but Joe wouldn’t tell him who his new guy is. It’s a secret and that is all Joe would tell him. Nanook, told him he would think about it, which you guessed, lead to an argument between Joe and Nanook and that made for boring TV and was left on the cutting room floor.~
~In the end, Joe gave Nanook 2 weeks to decide, which, gave Nanook 2 weeks to figure out who Joe’s guy is.~
~In his office, Nanook is behind his desk, with 3 laptops open and running, a tablet in one hand and his trusted cell phone in the other as he digs in and tries to find the answer to the world’s biggest burning question. Who else has signed on to have Joe be their agent? Nanook checks his phone. Checks the laptop in front of him, taps on it. Looks at the one to his left, double clicks on something. Glances at the one to his right, closes that all together. He then looks at his tablet, he flips that over in disgust. That is when The Captain and the Sarge wander in. Nanook look at them.~
Nanook “WELL!”
~The Captain and The Sarge look at one another. The Captain just shrugs a little.~
Nanook “NOTHING! How can this be? I have asked everyone I know, I have called in every favor I have and no one, fucking no one knows who Joe’s guy is! I want Bester’s contract! He is going to win that belt and I want that payday! He is money! You understand me! Money! A printing machine he is and I want that! What about you! You used to be employed by that turd burglar! Who else does he have?”
The Sarge “I don’t know.”
Nanook “The fuck you do! Who the fuck is his other guy?”
The Sarge “I’m telling the truth! I never saw anyone else. It was always me and him, and OGDA. There was no one else. He didn’t even take calls from anyone else when I was with him. As far as I know, It was just me and OGDA.”
~Nanook slams his laptop shut in front of him and leans back in his chair, annoyed, disgusted. Angry.~
Nanook “I’m not making this bet without knowing! You two! Get out of my sights! You disgust me!”
~The Captain, he’s like, whatever and The Sarge, he’s like, Fuck you, I hate you, I wish you were dead. They turn and start to leave Nanook’s office when Nanook rolls his eyes and sighs.~
Nanook “Wait! Hold on! I’m sorry guys, I’m just, frustrated that’s all. Joe is trying to ruin my business and I want nothing more than to crush him like the ant he is. I’m sorry for taking it out on you guys. Look, I talked to Marcus earlier. He said he’ll see what he can do for next week. One of you or both of you might have a match next week to showcase your skills some.”
~The Captain nods somewhat glad to hear the news. The Sarge place his hands on his hips.~
The Sarge “Thanks for that. All I want is a chance you know.”
Nanook “I know. I believe in you two. I know you two will make a great tag team. You two just need to work together to break into this company. Team work. That is what’s going to take. K?”
~The Sarge nods.~
The Sarge “Team Work.”
Nanook “Good. Now get!”
~The dynamic Duo leaves and Nanook’s tablet vibrates. Nanook flips it over. On his screen a video loads up from Joe Jones!~
Joe “Hey Fat Ass! Give up yet? How about I give you clue?”
~Nanook picks up the tablet and stands up.~
~To Be Continued.~
OCW Savage Championship
Barbed Wire Match
Iggy Hardy © (14-6) vs. Vincent ‘The Legend’ Langston (8-0)
~Cutting back inside the Mortuary we find a ravenous, bloodthirsty crowd. How do we know? Well it could be the fact that OCW fans are known to love violence. OR it could be the fact they are chanting “BLOOD” while going wild. The ropes have been replaced with barbed wire. Boards holding barbed wire are currently being placed around the ring, leaving a path of entry for the competitors to make it to the ring without having to walk through barbed wire. Belvedere is nowhere to be found. He’s going to remain in his safe zone to do his announcing. Never in his life has he been so happy to wield a microphone~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the OCW Savage Championship!!
~It doesn’t SEEM like the crowd could get any rowdier but somehow they do. If there were any pregnant women in the crowd they would have most likely given birth by now~
Belvedere: This match is a Barbed Wire Match. The ropes have been replaced with barbed wire. There are boards surrounding the ring covered in barbed wire. The first person to score a pinfall, submission, or knock out will be declared the winner and OCW Savage Champion!
~"I Am Legend" by Colton Dixon begins to play. The fans watch with respect as Vincent Langston emerges. He isn’t getting the cheers of a favorite nor the boos of a hated competitor. Instead the fans look on in admiration at this man for what he’s done and what he’s capable of doing. Langston marches through the trash bag entrance with the OCW Tag Team Title around his waist. There are no theatrics, no histrionics…just a man focused on his task heading to the ring. He steps up onto the apron and then carefully makes his way through the barbed wire, entering into the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, the challenger…from Washington D.C….standing 6’4 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions…he is Vincent “The Legend” Langston!!!
~Langston heads for his corner awaiting the arrival of his opponent, the Savage Champion. A thunderous “IGGY” chant fills the Mortuary. The people outside pick up on the chant. Soon Iggy’s name is filling the New Orleans skyline. How apropos that arguably the most sinful city in America is chanting the name of the most sinful man in OCW. It doesn’t take long for things to get even wilder as "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon begins to play! ‘MOTHER FUCKING INTENSITY’ is heard over the PA as Iggy Hardy sprints through the trash bag curtains with wide, drug fueled eyes. He’s breathing heavily and spitting all over the place. He reaches the ringside area and comes to an immediate stop. He sits onto the apron and calmly rolls in under the bottom rope. Once inside the ring he kips up and begins sprinting around the ring, pumping his arms in the air. The Savage Belt is around his waist. The crowd continues to chant his name~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Hawk’s Bluff, North Carolina…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is the OCW Savage Champion…he is…Iggy Hardy!!!
~The crowd continues going wild! Several fans in the crowd dressed as Iggy Hardy start to sprint around. We cut outside where other fans dressed as Iggy do the same thing. A giant MOSH pit is started outside the Mortuary. Fans dressed as other wrestlers jump in. It’s getting pretty INTENSE out there~
Smith: Ah, Iggy Hardy…
Hood: So glad he’s back!
Smith: If only this man could focus all of his energy on his craft. We might have a future OCW Champion on our hands
Hood: He does focus all his energy on his craft. The guy does drugs like 24/7
~OCW crew members begin placing barbed wire boards in front of the ring, near the entrance, completing the entire squared circle. Langston calmly heads toward the ropes nearest Belvedere. Iggy sprints past him, still chugging along with his hands pumping up and down. Langston motions for the mic. Belvedere tosses it to him. Langston makes a catch and taps the head of the mic. It’s working so he decides to speak~
Vincent Langston: Iggy…Iggy…IGGY!
~It takes Vincent a few tries but he’s eventually able to get Iggy’s attention. Iggy ceases his sprinting. He stands in front of Langston covered in sweat and breathing heavily~
Vincent Langston: Considering this is my first singles match on an OCW special event. Considering this is also my first singles title match, I thought a little something special was needed. When I heard there would be barbed wire boards around the ring, I got to thinking
~Iggy continues to breath heavily and sweat. He looks like a horse…if a horse were a human~
Vincent Langston: While the stipulation for this match sounds brutal, I came up with an idea that would make this a truly ‘savage’ affair. You see, I’ve managed to retain connections within the armed forces. In particular, the military hardware procurement division. I called them up and offered them a trip to New Orleans and, well, if you know these guys, you know they’d never turn an opportunity like that down. They only had to do one thing in return…
~Iggy yells “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Langston heads toward the side of the ring and he looks down at the boards, careful not to get caught in the barbed wire. He motions for Iggy to join him. Iggy stands next to Langston, looking down. Iggy yells “WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE LOOKING AT?!”~
Vincent Langston: I gave my friends access backstage where all the props and such are put together for the event. More specifically I made sure they had access to these barbed wire boards.
~The fans go “oooohhh” Iggy backs away, eyeing Langston. Iggy’s getting that WILD look in his eye…ya know, wilder than normal~
Vincent Langston: A few, not all, but a few of these boards have been loaded with some ‘explosive’ material, if you catch my drift.
~The crowd goes wild! These fans love explosions~
Vincent Langston: So, Iggy, make sure you…
~Before Langston can finish he’s rushed by an angry and intense Iggy Hardy!! The crowd goes wild! Iggy throws several punches at Langston. He drops the mic. It makes that THUMP sound as it hits the ring. It rolls out of the ring and hits one of the boards. There is a loud BOOM! The fans all SCREAM as the BOOM blared through the speakers. Even Iggy and Vincent stop what they’re doing, covering their ears. Everything comes to a stop for a moment~
Smith: Hood! Hood! Are you okay?
Hood: My fucking ears, man!
Smith: That mic fell right onto one of the explosive boards! My gosh that’s the loudest noise I’ve heard in OCW history!
Hood: WHAT?!
~The crowd begins to recover. They get back into the atmosphere. Many of them, drunk, find the accident to be cool…and they go wild. Langston and Iggy smack their ears, trying to get their hearing back. The bell suddenly rings! It’s Pavlovian for these two. They refocus and begin to trade lefts and rights in the center of the ring much to the crowd’s delight~
Smith: And here we go! A brawl is underway between these two behemoths!
Hood: They are large man. But Iggy is larger
Smith: Well, yes, you’d be hard pressed to find a man larger than Iggy Hardy
Hood: By the way…who did Vincent piss off?
Smith: I don’t know, why do you ask?
Hood: He has to face Iggy Hardy AND Bruce Rage in the same night.
Smith: A tough task to be sure
~Langston gains the advantage much to the crowd’s surprise. They continue to chant ‘IGGY’. You’d be hard pressed to find a more popular wrestler than Iggy Hardy. He’s popular in the way Howard Stern or Charlie Sheen are popular. Langston has Iggy staggering back! Iggy’s nearing the barbed wire! The fans are on their feet anxious to see if he comes into contact with the jagged material. Iggy is about to fall, back first into the barbed wire when he ducks a punch, spins around and grabs Vincent by the back of the head and neck. He tries ramming Langston face first into the barbed wire but The Legend throws an elbow into Iggy’s sternum!! Iggy releases his hold and staggers back. Langston shoots forward with a big boot! It connects!! Iggy falls to the mat, hard! The crowd continues to chant for Mr. Pectacular. Langston finally removes his OCW Tag Team Championship belt and he tosses it out of the ring, to Belvedere. Belvedere makes a stunningly good catch! WAY TO GO BELVE! The crowd gives Belvedere a standing ovation~
Smith: Surprisingly good hands by Belvedere
Hood: I heard he’s a badass football player
Smith: Where did you hear that?
Hood: Dude he’s the Madden champion in the locker room
Smith: That doesn’t count!
Hood: You have to have quick hands to be THAT good at any video game, Smith
~Langston kicks Iggy over onto his front. He bends over and violently unhooks the Savage Title from behind. He yanks and rips it out from under Iggy, holding it in the air. Langston stares at the title for a moment, perhaps envisioning it around his own waist. A loud ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ is heard. It’s Iggy! He starts to push up. He feels around his waist. His belt is GONE! He pops to his feet, turns around and points at Langston yelling “FUCK YOU!” He charges at Vincent but is met with a belt shot straight to the face!! Iggy collapses back to the ring and appears to be out. The crowd throws some boos down at Langston. They don’t hate the guy or anything…they just really love Iggy~
Smith: Stiff belt shot from Langston. It’s all legal in this match and, well, considering the alternative I’d say an act of kindness by Vincent
Hood: You think Vincent wants to get out of this match as quickly as possible?
Smith: Oh absolutely! He’s still got the tag titles to defend later tonight. A barbed wire match could really hinder his performance later on
Hood: Yep, he’d go into that match shredded…and not the good kind of shredded
~Langston contemplate throwing the title to Belvedere who appears ready to make another immaculate reception. But, Langston spots Iggy’s body shaking and gyrating. Mr. Pectacular starts DRY HUMPING the canvas! The crowd is inspired! Several men start thrusting up against women. The entire Mortuary is chanting ‘IGGY’! Langston stands back, poised. He’s been through worse. He’s got the Savage Title ready to be used as a weapon~
Smith: The Legend is ready for Iggy’s INTENSITY
Hood: He’d better be…I know this fucker is some kind of war hero but Iggy Hardy is unlike anything he’s ever faced
Smith: Hood, the man has faced gun fire, bombs, all kinds of death threats. I think he’s ready
Hood: Nothing can prepare a person for Iggy Hardy
~Iggy suddenly leaps to his feet in very athletic fashion. He turns around! His eyes are bulging! His veins are protruding! He’s covered in sweat! He looks down at his barren waist. He looks up at Langston, points and yells “GET FUCKED!” Iggy charges at Vincent and gets SMACKED with the belt! Iggy stumbles back! He fires up and charges again. He’s met with the Savage belt a second time. This goes on three more times until Iggy finally drops to a knee. The fans expect him to go down…but he doesn’t. He gets back to his feet, wobbly and most likely concussed. He charges at Langston one final time and is met with the biggest belt shot of them all!!! Iggy spins around and falls face first onto the mat. Langston drops the title…he flips Iggy over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP!
Smith: Iggy survived at least seven shots to the head with the Savage Title
Hood: Damn. Maybe somebody should pawn the Savage belt forcing Welsh to purchase a new Savage title of higher quality
Smith: That or Iggy is just an anomaly
Hood: Well, he is that
~The Legend is unfazed by the near fall. He throws a few straight right hands into Iggy’s head before returning to his feet. He walks around for a moment, taking in the surroundings. He runs his hand along the barbed wire before looking out into the crowd. They seem to be turned onto the idea. Although a few die hard Iggy fans scream “NO!!” Langston turns with motive. He snares Iggy by the party end of his mullet and yanks the Savage Champion to his feet. He drags him toward the barbed wire~
Smith: He’s going to slice Iggy’s head wide open!
Hood: He’d better stay away from Iggy’s blood if he wants to pass the drug test after his match tonight
Smith: Really?
Hood: Haha, nah I’m just kidding. We don’t drug test anyone
~Langston reaches back and shoves Iggy’s face toward the barbed wire. Iggy reaches out and wraps both hands around the barbed wire, resisting a full on blow to the face. Vincent pushes as hard as he can to try and overcome Iggy’s resistance. Iggy yells “NOOOO!” We see blood start to run across the bottom of his palms and down both arms. The wire is digging into his hands. Iggy’s muscles are bulging and tense. Langston gets directly behind Iggy for more leverage. Iggy throws a mule kick right into Langston’s groin!!! Vincent staggers back, falling to one knee. He lets go of Iggy. Iggy stands and looks at his hands, they both feature at least two deep puncture wounds leaking blood~
Smith: Fans please don’t derive any God like comparisons via this imagery. It’s just Iggy Hardy with two hands cut up by barbed wire
Hood: So you’re saying Iggy isn’t some kind of savior?
Smith: Not in the biblical sense
Hood: But in a wrestling sense?
Smith: I have no idea
~An enraged Iggy charges at Langston, who remains on one knee. Iggy leaps into the air with a cross body. He slams into Langston, taking him down. Iggy lands on top of Langston and begins to throw some downward elbow strikes into the side of Langston’s head. Vincent, realizing he’s in a tough spot, reaches for Iggy’s arm and attempts a Kimura. Iggy rolls to his right, off of Langston and back to his feet to prevent getting locked in the submission hold. Both men reach their feet simultaneously. Langston charges at Iggy. Hardy leaps over Langston. Vincent charges right at the barbed wire! He drops down and slides under the bottom, avoiding the barbed wire! He nearly slides completely off the apron but managers to manipulate his positioning enough to remain on the apron and unscathed from the hazardous material~
Smith: What maneuverability and agility by Langston! My gosh this man is freaky!
Hood: I think some of that military training came in handy there. Don’t they crawl underneath barbed wire during boot camp?
Smith: I’ve seen that in movies but can’t speak from personal experience
Hood: Well no shit. I think we’re all aware how long you’d last in boot camp
~The crowd gives Langston a hearty ovation, impressed with his athletic ability and awareness. Vincent returns to his feet, looking around a bit surprised he didn’t get cut anywhere. He checks his arms, back, and chest. While doing so he takes his attention off of Iggy. Iggy comes flying forward with a huge right hand!! Langston leans back…he reaches out and snares the top strand of barbed wire to keep from falling backward onto the tables. The fans go “whooooaaaa” in correspondence with Vincent’s swaying. Iggy hits him again and again. Langston’s hand is wrapped around a safe portion of the barbed wire, in between two prickly points. Iggy grows frustrated. He can’t generate a punch powerful enough to send Vincent flying~
Smith: Langston hanging on for…and I know this sounds dramatic but in this case it may not be AS dramatic…but he’s hanging on for dear life!
Hood: Some people don’t’ think life is that dear
Smith: Can we not mention suicide during such a great event?
Hood: Who said anything about suicide? I was merely speaking about alcoholics. Fuck you’re dark, man
~Iggy leans in and starts to BITE the hand of Langston! The crowd yells “SAVAGE” Indeed, Iggy is SAVAGE. Langston grimaces. He takes his other fist and bites down on it as an act of pain transference. Iggy stops biting because, well, he may be many things but a cannibal he is NOT. He finally looks Langston in the eye and yells ‘FUCK YOU!’ He takes a few steps back. Langston removes the fist from his mouth. His eyes widen. The crowd stands. There’s this “OH SHIT IS HE REALLY GONNA DO IT” vibe inside the Mortuary. Iggy charges forward and leaps into the air!!! He slams his body into the barbed wire!!! The force dislodges Vincent’s grip!! Langston teeters back and falls all the way to the floor CRASHING into the barbed wire boards!!! Thankfully, none of them explode! The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT!” Langston yells out in pain as the barbed wire is most likely lodged into his back. Iggy, meanwhile looks down to find barbed wire stuck inside his chest, biceps and thighs~
Smith: OH MY GOSH!
Hood: Iggy is a CRAZY man
Smith: Langston just fell into those barbed wire boards! His back has to be shredded!
Hood: You want to win the Savage Championship, well, you’re gonna have to get a little savage
~Iggy begins by carefully pulling the barbed wire out of his skin one by one. It’s obvious he doesn’t have the patience for such a meticulous exercise so he yells “I’LL DEAL WITH THE FUCKING PAIN” and rips away, causing more damage to his skin. We see gashes in his chest, biceps, and thighs. Nothing too wide open or in immediate need of assistance…but blood will flow. Iggy, though, moves like he got stung by an ant in several places. The pain is more annoying than anything. He steps through the barbed wire with less care than any man should and looks down at Langston. Vincent remains still. His eyes blink a few times. He winces but he’s hesitant to move. He knows the more violent the movement the more damage he could accrue. Iggy smiles. Langston looks up and sees the smiling Iggy. An ‘oh fuck’ look flashes across his eyes. Iggy leaps off the apron and comes down with a double foot stomp into the chest of Langston!!! Vincent yells out in pain!!! He sits up ripping the barbed wire from his back! We see streaks of blood ooze down his back! Iggy remains on his feet, stumbling into the guardrail. The fans nearby all pat him on the clean areas of his skin, mostly his shoulders. Iggy ‘accidentally’ grabs a female fan’s tits. She doesn’t seem to mind~
Smith: Iggy is insane!
Hood: Where the hell have you been?
Smith: It’s just…my goodness. Langston has seen a lot in his life…more than most of the people within this venue combined…but I’m not sure he’s seen anything like Iggy
Hood: Iggy is like running into a coked up Bigfoot and Landshark at the same time…or, well if they had a coked up baby. Yea, Bigshark or LandFoot…someshit like that
~Langston reaches out, grabbing the apron cloth. He works his way to his feet with the board sticking to his ass and thighs. He carefully works the barbed wire out of his pant legs hoping not to rip any additional skin. Iggy looks down at the handful of tit and goes “WHOOOAAAA” he dives in head first for a closer look. Langston is finally freed of the barbed wire. He kicks the board to the side…it flips over and lands atop a parallel board. There’s a clear path to Iggy. Iggy’s back is to Vincent and his face is buried in some woman’s giant, fake tits~
Smith: Iggy seems to be enjoying himself
Hood: I’d like to live one day in the life of Iggy Hardy…I just don’t think I’d survive
Smith: I’d OD before noon, probably
Hood: Shit, I’d like to think I’d last longer than that…fuckin lightweight
~Langston builds to anger. He charges forward. The woman grabs the back of Iggy’s mullet and turns him around. Her cleavage is covered in Iggy’s blood. Iggy spins around and is drilled with a big boot!!! Iggy flips over the guardrail, into the crowd! The fans want to touch him but realize the man is known for becoming INTENSE so they stay away. Langston steps over the guardrail, into the sea of drunk fans. He shoves them away with very little care. A few of them fall down on their ass. Langston, wearing thick boots, stomps on Iggy, keeping him grounded~
Smith: Langston showing that aggression that made him a legend in the armed forces
Hood: He’s going to MURDER someone?
Smith: I didn’t say that!
Hood: I keep saying this but it’s been FOREVER since someone was murdered on OCW television. I feel like we’re due
~Langston continues to act rough toward the fans. He’s not trying to hurt them he’s just not putting up with them getting in the way. He shoves and fights for space. He pulls Iggy to his feet and slams him into the guardrail! The guardrail bends toward the ring area, up against the two barbed wire boards on top of one another. Langston throws a big boot into Iggy’s sternum. Iggy falls forward, leaning into Langston. He takes this opportunity to hook Iggy, lifts him up and drop him with a suplex onto the unforgiving, uncovered floor within the crowd! Fans dart out of the way to keep from being impacted! Iggy SPLATS hard, arching his back in pain!! Langston sits up, breathing heavily, remaining inhumanly focused~
Smith: I don’t care who you are or how many drugs you’ve stuffed into your body, a suplex onto the floor hurts
Hood: Spoken like a man who’s never done a hard drug in his life
Smith: You say that like it’s a bad thing
Hood: You haven’t lived, man!
~Langston returns to his feet. He’s methodical and calculating. He grabs Iggy by his mullet and yanks him to his feet. The Savage Champion stumbles around haphazardly, bumping into fans. Langston clears the way. They walk around the perimeter of the guardrail, turning a corner and reaching a different side of the ring. There are barbed wire boards surrounding the ring that are untouched. Langston has something in mind. He knees Iggy in the guts and attempts to hoist him up for a Press Slam! Iggy wiggles out! He drops to his feet behind Langston. Langston turns around, back against the guardrail! Iggy yells out and sprints forward with a clothesline! Langston ducks! Iggy leaps into the air and lands atop the guardrail, showing tremendous balance. Vincent stumbles forward and turns around. Iggy carefully turns around as well, atop the guardrail, facing Langston. Vincent runs forward, leaps into the air and dropkicks the legs out from under Iggy!!! Iggy falls and SMASHES his face into the top of the guardrail! He teeters backward and lands on top of the boards…THEY EXPLODE!!! The crowd goes wild!! Smoke and sparks engulf Iggy, consuming his body! “HOLY SHIT” chants fill the Mortuary~
Smith: Oh my gosh!!! Iggy could be seriously injured!
Hood: Well, if he is…at least he went out with a…
Smith: Don’t say it! It’s too cheap and easy!
Hood: BANG!
~Langston returns to his feet. The smoke from Iggy’s explosion surrounds him. It fills his lungs. He takes a momentary mental departure, perhaps rehashing an old memory. He stands still for a second. The fans around him are still cheering. One fan wearing an aging ‘ICWF’ t-shirt reaches out, patting him on the back. He spins around, grabs the fan by the neck and chokeslams him onto the floor! Most the crowd cheers…the fans nearby go silent and get away from The Legend. Langston turns back around and steps over the guard rail, back to the ring area~
Smith: Langston was lost in memory for a second
Hood: And that fan brought him back to reality
Smith: I’m sure that fan will be financially compensated at the end of the evening
Hood: He’s a wrestling fan so an autographed photo of Alice Knight plus a ‘guaranteed’ tryout match sometime in the future should be all it takes
~With his boots on, Langston is able to safely navigate the barbed wire footing. A few pieces of wire snag the bottoms of his pants but he effortlessly yanks the fabric away, freeing it from the jagged constraints. He locates the body of Iggy Hardy through the smoke. A cough sounds out…our visibility is very limited. We see Langston but we can’t see Iggy. Vincent bends over and then straights up with something over his head. We zoom in to see Iggy Hardy back in the Press Slam position only this time the barbed wire board is stuck to his back! Langston steps toward the ring and he tosses Iggy over the wire ropes into the ring! Iggy flips over and lands on his back…meaning he lands right back on top of the barbed wire board! He yells out in pain. Langston slowly walks up the steps and carefully steps through the wiring to re-enter the ring~
Smith: Well, at least he’s alive
Hood: Barely
Smith: No way to assess the damage at this point. He’s just covered in smoke and blood…how much of that blood is fresh, I can’t tell you
Hood: Well I mean it’s all technically fresh. Not like any of it stems from a fun filled evening with a hooker gone awry
~Langston drops a leg across Iggy’s chest. He quickly transitions into a cover. Things seem like a foregone conclusion at this point. Scruff drops to his knees and makes the count~
1!
2!
3…NO!
Smith: Oh my word!
Hood: HE’S BACK!
~Iggy is suddenly INTENSE! He kicks out with tremendous force, sending Langston flying three feet into the air. Iggy pops to his feet with the board still stuck to his back. He reaches around, snares the board and RIPS it away. The fans cringe…as does Scruff. Iggy’s back is shredded and bleeding but he’s full of adrenaline and drugs. He rushes over to one side of the ring and grabs onto the top strand of barbed wire. He starts to shake it while continuing to intensify! The crowd begins to yell “IGGY! IGGY! IGGY!”~
Smith: Iggy is INTENSE
Hood: And he’s giving zero fucks about his hands
Smith: True
Hood: Let’s hope he doesn’t like to relax after his matches via masturbation
~Iggy winds up RIPPING the top strand of barbed wire free! He yanks it away and rips it in half! What amazing, genetically altered strength!! He tosses one half of the strand down and wraps the other half around his right fist. Langston is standing, observing all this. Iggy’s got his bare fist wrapped in barbed wire. Veins are bulging from his neck. His eyes are wide and saliva is oozing from his mouth. He yells ‘C’MON AND GET FUCKED!’ Langston, not to be outdone, snares the other half of barbed wire and begins wrapping it around his right fist. The crowd starts to jump up and down. Shit’s about to get nasty~
Smith: Oh no, guys, c’mon!
Hood: Oh I’m sure they’ll be fine. Not like either guy has much to lose in the looks department
Smith: So cruel
Hood: It’s my job to speak the truth
~Langston’s right hand is wrapped. Iggy’s right hand is wrapped. The fans are on their feet, leaning toward the ring with anticipation. Who will throw the first punch? Iggy, that’s who! Iggy throws a right hand, slamming into the left side of Langston’s face! The crowd winces. Langston throws a right hand, slamming into the left side of Iggy’s face! The crowd winces…but not as much. They start to cheer. The two men go back and forth punching each other in the face with barbed wire fists. Their faces are bleeding. Their hands are covered in blood. Each punch produces a mist of blood from impact. It’s pretty even and, well, fairly disgusting~
Smith: Ugh…I don’t’ know how much more of this I can watch
Hood: Best brawl ever, my man! This is mother fucking SAVAGE
Smith: I guess
~Langston stuns the OCW audience by gaining the upper hand! His rights fists continue to blast away and slice into Iggy’s face! Iggy’s arms start to go limp. He staggers. His face is all chewed up from the brawl. He’s got blood oozing down his face, dripping from his chin. He looks like he’s about to fall over. Langston rears back and throws a haymaker! Iggy blocks it! With one last Iggy-like HURRAH he yells “FUCK YOU!!!” and spins around for a Tornado haymaker right hand. Langston catches his arm, avoiding the impact and takes him down with a CROSSFACE!!!~
Smith: Oh no!
Hood: Geezus…that’s going to rip his fucking nose in half
Smith: Stop the match! Stop the match!!!
~Langston has the crossface applied with the barbed wire digging into Iggy’s nose. It looks ready to rip right through his nose when Scruff calls for the bell! The bell rings! Scruff slides and grabs Langston’s arm, pulling it away. Vincent snaps to and releases the hold~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner….AND THE NEW OCW SAVAGE CHAMPION…VINCENT “THE LEGEND” LANGSTON!!!!!
Smith: Kudos to Scruff for stopping this before Iggy’s face suffered any further damage
Hood: That was some Saw level type gore, there. Fuckin nasty
~Iggy is face down in an increasing pool of his own blood. Langston gets to his feet and receives the OCW Tag Title AND his newly won OCW Savage Championship. He holds them up, one in each hand, receiving a strong show of respect from the fans. We see his right hand still wrapped in barbed wire…it’s covered in blood. The left side of his face has multiple lacerations which continue to leak. Langston turns to exit showing cuts all along his back. The dude has been through hell~
Smith: Vincent Langston remains unbeaten and has just claimed one of the most prestigious belts in OCW history. How long before this man reaches the main event scene?
Hood: Not long…Iggy is a badass and he just beat him into a bloody pulp
Smith: Indeed
~We cut back outside where AKB is talking to one of the girls from the video. She’s fairly inebriated. She’s also laughing at all of his jokes, including this one~
AKB: Yea so you want that Toyota now?
Drunk Girl: Yessss
~AKB pulls out a small, toy yoda figure. The girl is obviously confused but laughs anyway. Who’Re rolls her eyes and begins doing her job~
Who’Re: What a night of action so far! We’ve seen Aidan Collins win against an OCW Hall of Famer in his debut. We watched as Hellraven pulled off the HUGE upset by defeating Vossler. And, just now, we saw our first title change of the evening with Vincent Langston remaining undefeated by putting down OCW’s most intense star, Iggy Hardy to claim the Savage Championship. We’ve got so, so much more in store for you guys.
~Who’Re looks around and sees people drinking at a dangerously fast clip~
Who’Re: As I said…we’ve got so much more to come! I’d probably slow down if I were you…don’t want to be blacked out by the main event!
Random Guy with a Beer: FUCK YOU BITCH
Who’Re: Okay then. Coming up next we will take you to a local neighborhood as OGDA challenges Mike Harrison for the Craze Championship. Personally, this is one I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time. I’m a huge OGDA fan. I just…
~A loud BUZZ sounds as the clock goes form ‘0’ to 13 (how unlucky!). A group of coked up fans burst through the door and go running through the front yard of the Mortuary screaming “IGGY WAS FUCKED!” “FUCK THIS FUCKING PLACE!” “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” Who’Re looks one, appalled~
Who’Re: Some upset Iggy fans have decided to forfeit their VIP tickets within the Mortuary. That means some lucky fans will be allowed entry! This just speaks to the passion that surrounds the matches this evening. These fans have their favorites and they will accept nothing short of victory. Speaking of favorites…Legendary Trifecta
AKB: You mean like a Holy Trinity? Is that code you’re speaking to me, Who’Re because I’ve got a room back at the Double Tree and there’s nothing I’d love more than to…
Who’Re: Ew, no! Keep talking to your skank! I’m working here!
~The drunk girl takes offense to the remark. AKB quickly diffuses her anger with another lame joke~
Who’Re: I’m, of course, talking about the OCW Tag Team Champions. They face BroCode later this evening in their second tag title defense. Or, well, second LEGIT tag title defense. My question is about Langston. We just saw the war he went through with Iggy…what shape will he be in for the tag match? Does this make BroCode the favorites? Smith, Hood, what do you guys think?
~We cut back to inside the Mortuary~
Smith: Thanks for the ace reporting, Who’Re! I definitely think this gives BroCode the advantage. Langston is wounded…heck, I’m hearing rumors he may not even compete later tonight
Hood: BroCode should have been the favorites from the start. Ah well, better late than never I suppose
Smith: That match will be a great one. However, it is time to find out who will walk away Craze Champion as the Halloween Neighborhood Brawl is ready to go!
OCW Craze Championship
Halloween Neighborhood Brawl
Mike Harrison © (5-0) vs. OGDA (4-1)
~The feed cuts to a neighborhood. The houses are decorated with spooky Halloween accoutrements giving the entire setting a very appropriate vibe. A stretch limo pulls into view. It maneuvers itself carefully around the cul-de-sac at the end of the street. The cul-de-sac features three houses and one empty lot. The empty lot is in the back right of the cul-de-sac. There appears to be a creek running down it and some powerlines. Probably why it’s still empty. The limo comes to a stop and the back door opens. We see Mike Harrison step out with his Craze Championship. He’s dressed for competition. He looks around, taking in the surroundings. All houses are lit up with lights on the outside as well as inside. People are awake and enjoying their Halloween evening. Harrison is the only individual outside, at the moment. There aren’t even any trick or treaters…yet. He looks around and shakes his head…a true veteran and star of this sport reduced to THIS?~
Smith: A unique experience to be sure for Mike Harrison. Now, where is the challenger?
Hood: Probably saw the neighborhood, hopped out of his car and started trick or treating. It’s the one night a year where wearing a goofy ass mask is appropriate
Smith: You think he’d trick or treat before a match?
Hood: Yes
~Harrison limbers up and motions for the limo driver to hold steady for a moment before driving off, just in case OGDA fails to show up. The front door to a house in the cul-de-sac opens and a guy dressed as Zorro emerges looking for a spot to relieve his stuffed bladder. He pauses and looks over his shades at the man in wrestling tights standing next to the limo. Harrison spots the guy from the corner of his eye and tries his best to ignore him~
Smith: Harrison is kind of out there all alone right now
Hood: Pissing in the wind
Smith: Where the heck is OGDA?
~As if on cue a strange sounding car horn fills the air. Harrison looks up and toward the sound. A white van takes a violent turn onto the street ending in the cul-de-sac. It barrels toward Harrison who looks around as if to ask “Is this thing going to stop?” The van makes an IMPRESSIVE stop a few feet from the cul-de-sac. It’s a familiar looking vehicle to OCW fans. It’s been seen several times before~
Smith: Hood…is that…
Hood: IT’S THE SLAM BUSS
~The side door to the SLAM BUSS opens and OGDA hops out! He’s in his wrestling gear and looks ready to go! The Zorro dressed partier runs inside to alert everyone else that shit’s about to go down. Uber Man, the driver of the Slam Buss, extends his hand. OGDA slaps it, nearly separating Uber’s shoulder. He then marches down the street toward the cul-de-sac with Harrison in his sights. Harrison, with his Craze Title around his waist, does not back down. He steps forward to meet OGDA halfway. The voice of Belvedere sounds out over the broadcast~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the OCW Craze Championship!! This match is a Halloween Neighborhood Brawl! In order to win one of these competitors must score a pinfall, submission, or knock out! The winner of this match will leave with the OCW Craze Championship! Introducing first…
~OGDA and Harrison come face to face. It’s more like face to upper chest with OGDA enjoying the size advantage. But Harrison does not back down. He’s faced the mall throughout his career. Men bigger than OGDA, no doubt~
Belvedere: From the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320lbs…Orgulloso Guardian Del Arcoiris….OGDA!
~Some cheers are heard from the once empty lawn where Zorro guy was looking to take a piss. He’s finally relieving his bladder in the background. But the lawn is no longer empty. It’s filled with all the party patrons! They are able to hear Belvedere’s announcement. I’m gonna go ahead and say speakers have been planted in the area. They see OGDA raise his arm in the air and they go wild~
Belvedere: And, his opponent...from Blackpool, England…standing 6 feet tall and weighing in at 185lbs…he is the undefeated Craze Champion…he is Mike Harrison!!!
~Harrison removes his Craze Title and raises it high in the air. He turns and shoves it in OGDA’s face! The yard crowd goes “ooohhh!” OGDA shoves Harrison back as an impulsive response. Harrison tosses the Craze Title on top of the limo which is still parked in the center of the cul-de-sac. It is unable to move because the SLAM BUSS is blocking its path. We hear a bell sound signaling that the match is underway~
Smith: Anything goes in this match, Hood
Hood: Why won’t Uber get out of that limo driver’s way? The longer he sits there the more he’s going to charge Harrison
Smith: I’m not sure Uber knows how to go in reverse
Hood: Seriously? This guy is an Uber driver?
Smith: Or maybe the reverse option is broken on the Slam Buss. It is a fairly old vehicle
~Harrison doesn’t waste any time. He proves to be the early aggressor with right hands to the masked head of OGDA. They are having some effect, but not much. OGDA blocks one of the punches and unleashes a few of his own. Harrison staggers back, walking along the cement pavement, toward the opening of the cul-de-sac where the limo remains. The house with the lawn crowd is to their left. They are shouting and cheering. One of the guys from inside brings a Keg onto the lawn to save everyone the trip. Harrison backs up onto the front of the hood of the limo. The limo driver’s eyes widen from behind the wheel. OGDA peppers Harrison with a few sharp right hands…Harrison is reeling. OGDA charges forward with a SPEAR! Harrison moves!! OGDA slides on the hood of the car, coming face to face with the limo driver who breathes a sigh of relief that nothing is broken…yet~
Smith: Close call there!
Hood: Yea, let’s hope Harrison paid for insurance on that limo
Smith: I’m sure a veteran like Harrison knows you don’t bring a vehicle to a wrestling show without insurance
Hood: You would hope
~OGDA turns over, onto his back. Harrison rushes forward, stepping onto the front bumper and leaping through the air onto OGDA! He begins pummeling OGDA with right hands atop the limo’s hood. The driver grows increasingly nervous. He contemplates exiting the car but, ya know, there are two giant men fighting on top of the hood. So he remains inside the vehicle, priorities and everything. OGDA manages to survive the onslaught. He reaches up and snares Harrison by the throat with both hands. Mike ceases the attack and goes into protection mode. OGDA sits up and slides off the hood of the limo to the ground. He’s standing and holding Harrison in the air. Mike kicks his legs, trying to get free. He’s attempting to pull OGDA’s hands apart, but can’t…OGDA’s strength is superior. Harrison reaches up and jams a thumb into the eye hole of OGDA’s mask!! OGDA lets Harrison go. Harrison stumbles back and charges forward. OGDA ducks and lifts Harrison up in the air with a back body drop!! Harrison flips over and CRASHES onto the hood of the limo!! He dents the entire front hood of the car! The driver inside screams “NOOO!” The crowd standing outside the one house go wild. It brings people from other houses out into their yards to see what’s going on~
Smith: Ouch! Harrison’s back has to be on fire after absorbing that impact
Hood: You saying that because you think he’s an old man?
Smith: No! That type of impact would hurt a young man’s back
Hood: Why are you thinking about a young man’s back?
Smith: Leave me alone
~OGDA walks around the side of the hood and snares a handful of Harrison’s hair. Harrison rolls over and reaches with his arms for something. His right arm feels up the windshield, near the roof…the fingers graze the edge of the leather strap belonging to the Craze Title. OGDA tries to yanks Harrison off the hood but the Craze Champion snares his belt and slings it at OGDA, smacking the masked challenger in the side of the head with the metal plate!!! OGDA stumbles backward. Harrison gets to his feet, on top of the hood and he leaps off in a double axe handle motion…but instead of his fist he uses the belt! He drills OGDA on top of the head with the belt!! OGDA falls back onto the cement surface of the cul-de-sac. Harrison lands on his two feet and staggers forward due to the lack of give on the landing~
Smith: The Craze Champion using what he can to even the odds
Hood: He’s a smart man, Smith. That’s why he’s undefeated and a champion
Smith: Indeed, there is no denying that
~Harrison takes a brief moment to catch his breath. He turns around and finds OGDA sitting up, in the process of returning to his feet. Harrison shakes his head as if to say “Seriously?” He reaches back with the Craze Title, preparing to drill OGDA in the head with it once again. OGDA stands, with his back to Harrison. He slowly turns around and Harrison charges forward! He slings the title at OGDA’s head but OGDA ducks! Harrison stumbles forward. He turns around and receives a mule kick into the gut!! Harrison doubles over, dropping the Craze Title onto the cement ground. OGDA hooks Harrison around the waist. He hoists Harrison up for a powerbomb!! The fans standing in their yard shriek! OGDA turns toward the limo. The limo driver face palms. OGDA drives Harrison down…but Harrison is able to kick his legs out and drops OGDA face first into the hood of the car with a FACEBUSTER!!! OGDA stumbles backward, grasping at his head. Harrison rolls backward, over his head, landing off the hood, onto his feet. He hobbles around, checking his legs after landing atop the warped hood~
Smith: Tremendous counter by Mike Harrison!
Hood: OGDA would be busted open if it weren’t for that WEAK ASS MASK
Smith: We’ve had masked wrestlers for years…it’s about time you got used to them
Hood: I will never get used to a grown man willfully wearing a mask
~Harrison rushes around the back of the limo to get to OGDA before he can recover. He blasts OGDA in the head with a forearm!! OGDA staggers away from the limo, near the SLAM BUSS. Harrison pauses and looks at his arm. There’s a streak of blood on it. He smiles~
Smith: OGDA must have been busted open by that facebuster!
Hood: So the giant, retarded superhero DOES bleed
Smith: OF COURSE HE BLEEDS
Hood: But…is his mother’s name Martha?
Smith: Oh be quiet with that nonsense!
~OGDA stumbles near the front of the Slam Buss. Uber leans his head out to see if everything is alright. Harrison rushes forward with a big boot into OGDA’s head!! OGDA’s body flies backward, smacking into Uber’s head and knocking him out. Uber is hanging halfway out of the driver’s side window. OGDA reaches around, trying to find something to grab onto for support. He winds up fall into the interior of the SLAM BUSS (the sliding door was still open). OGDA is seated with his legs hanging out, feet atop the pavement. Harrison stands over OGDA. OGDA reaches up, feeling the wound which resides right near the apex of his forehead. We can see the gash in the mask~
Smith: OGDA is taking some trauma to the head…how will he respond?
Hood: It’s a good thing there’s not much up there to be damaged
Smith: Oh please, I think you’re selling the man short
Hood: The bus he rode to school was SHORTER than the fucking SLAM BUSS
~Harrison bends over and drills OGDA in the head with a straight right hand. OGDA falls onto his back. He sits back up, displaying tremendous toughness. Harrison takes a step back and lunges forward with a flying knee to the head!! Harrison flies into the van while executing the move! He slams into the door-less side of the van…but he’s okay. OGDA, meanwhile, is flat on his back. Harrison looks around as if to ask where a ref is~
Smith: He does have a good point…who’s refereeing this match?
Hood: Scruff’s in here
Smith: It’s got to be either Gruff or Puff
~”Ah damnit son of a bitch!” is heard from a grumbling, disgruntled, curmudgeonly old man. It’s, of course, Gruff. He was apparently inside one of the houses enjoying watching the PPV when it was made clear to him that he was taken to this party FOR A REASON. Gruff, with chip crumbs on his shirt and a bottle of COLA in his hand rushes forward to the Slam Buss. Harrison throws his arms in the air as if to say “FINALLY!” He’s about to go for the pin when he notices OGDA stirring. He punches the side of the van in frustration. Gruff, too, is frustrated for leaving the party sooner than he hoped. Harrison uses all the strength he can muster to drag OGDA into the van, fully. OGDA starts to fight him off…in fighting Harrison off he manages to slam the side door shut. Gruff stands back. The people in the cul-de-sac wonder what’s taking place. The camera can’t get a clear view of what’s happening. The van starts to shake~
Smith: What’s going on?
Hood: The Slam Buss is rocking!
Smith: Yea but for reasons that go far beyond that vehicle’s intended purpose
Hood: Why do you always have to downplay the importance of pornography?
~Our view moves from the front of the Slam Buss where Uber remains unconscious. We follow Gruff toward the back of the Slam Buss where there are two doors. The bus rocks to the right after a loud thud. It rocks to the left after another loud thud. It’s obvious these two men are brawling and fighting within the confined space of the Slam Buss. Finally the movement and noise comes to a brief halt. Gruff looks around. The camera leans in closer to the back of the bus, curious. The two doors violently FLY OPEN as we see Harrison’s body shoot out with OGDA in the SPEAR position!!! They fall out of the bus and land roughly onto the concrete pavement!! The cul-de-sac is chanting “HOLY SHIT!” This brings people out from all the homes on the street to see what’s going on. OGDA, meanwhile, remains on top of Harrison…he landed head first as a result of the spear. Gruff, noticing this, gets to his knees and makes the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!
Smith: Harrison with the shoulder up! The undefeated Craze Champion still has some fight!
Hood: OGDA might be out, though
Smith: Indeed…he hasn’t moved since they came out of the Slam Buss
~Harrison does his best to shove the dead weight of OGDA off him. OGDA is on his back. He still has yet to move. Harrison, the wily vet who doesn’t want to fight on this fucking concrete anymore, attempts a pin. Gruff, still on his knees, makes another count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: Whoa! OGDA with a forceful kick out!
Hood: Son of a bitch
Smith: He’s far from finished, it appears
Hood: I hate superheroes
~Harrison pops to his feet. He’s more than a little stunned at the ferocity of OGDA’s kick out. He reaches around and touches his back, wincing. It’s scratched up with a few streams of blood starting to trickle down. OGDA starts to sit up, on his side. Harrison walks away, heading for his belt. He snares the Craze Title and makes his way toward a crowded yard surrounding the cul-de-sac. The people in the yard cheer! OGDA staggers to his feet. He looks around for the Craze Champion. His ears follow the cheers. He moves forward, in pursuit of Mike Harrrison~
Smith: Harrison making an effort to get OFF the concrete and onto some grass
Hood: Smart man
Smith: That surface isn’t going to do anyone any good…but a man with the miles on his body like Harrison is especially vulnerable to aggravating a lingering issue
Hood: So, basically you’re saying old men shouldn’t brawl on concrete
~The longer OGDA walks the more stable he becomes. Harrison steps into the hard and lets out a sigh of relief upon feeling the give that EARTH has under his feet (in contrast to concrete). Some fan yells “HE’S COMING!” Harrison’s reprieve is brief. He turns around to see OGDA walking briskly…he then starts to jog. Before Harrison knows it OGDA is in a full on sprint. Harrison’s eyes widen, bracing for impact. OGDA lunges at Harrison and takes him down with a half spear/half tackle into the grass!! Harrison drops the title! OGDA attempts a mount. Harrison rolls over. OGDA goes for a choke. Harrison manages to crawl backward and slip out from behind OGDA. Harrison pops to his feet. OGDA rises but before he can turn around he’s dropped with a Backstabber!! The crowd of fans standing around them go wild!! People from other yards rush over to get a closer view. A solid crowd of at least sixty people are now hovering around, enjoying the neighborhood brawl. Harrison sits up…he’s got pieces of grass stuck to the red, bloody streaks on his back~
Smith: Mike Harrison is a tremendous wrestler…as crafty as they come but you have to wonder if he can defeat OGDA
Hood: OGDA is another one of these weird mother fuckers. Just like Iggy Hardy…he just keeps coming at you
Smith: Indeed
~Harrison returns to his feet and staggers into the crowd. He kicks something over. A fan yells “HEY!” Harrison looks down to find a fat man in a grease stained shirt with long, greasy hair looking up from his lawn chair. Harrison just inadvertently kicked over the man’s BIG GULP. The fat fan sighs and says, “If it were OGDA I’d be really pissed. But since you’re a TRUE wrestler, I’ll let it slide.” Harrison contemplates ending this man’s life but, instead, realizes he’s got a match in progress. He finds OGDA still on the ground. Harrison reaches down, jamming his thumb into the gash atop OGDA’s head. OGDA yells out. Harrison uses his other four fingers to grab the mask and yanks OGDA to a seated position. Harrison takes two steps back, measures OGDA up and flies forward with a knee! OGDA dodges by falling to the side! Harrison flies into the fans, taking a few of them out. OGDA rolls onto all fours, attempting to return to his feet~
Smith: OGDA has a ton of stamina and zero quit. It’s hard to keep a man like that down
Hood: What’s with that fatass douche in the lawn chair? Stand like a man you fuckin loser!
Smith: I think he’s one of those hyper critical wrestling fans.
Hood: Ugh…one of those guys who calls OCW a comedy fed? I hate those idiots
~OGDA gets to his feet and shakes off some of the lingering pain. He reaches up and rubs the gash atop his head. Harrison turns around and shoves away from the fans. He throws a punch at OGDA but it’s blocked! OGDA throws a few short forearms into the chin of Harrison. Harrison’s legs are beginning to weaken. He throws a kick into OGDA’s knee and rakes at the cut in OGDA’s forehead! OGDA stumbles back, shoving Harrison away! He knocks the fat fan out of his chair! The crowd is like “oooohhh”. OGDA is unaware being that he’s in the midst of combat. Harrison senses a chance to pounce and runs forward…he leaps into the air for a codebreaker. But OGDA holds him up and drops him with a modified powerbomb into the grass!! Harrison hits with a thud! OGDA goes for a pin…Gruff and his old knees crouch gingerly to the ground for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: The champ kicked out! Mike Harrison remains the Craze Champion for now
Hood: OGDA showing some of that retard strength
Smith: He’s not retarded
Hood: Yea, right and that fat fan isn’t fat
~OGDA returns to his feet and is about to dish out some more punishment when a chubby hand grabs him by the arm. He swings around, angrily. The fat fan is enraged. “I may take that from a pure wrestler but not from someone like you! You are making a mockery of this sport! You and your comedy disgust me!” The fans surrounding the action go deathly quiet. OGDA looks down at the fat fan who has no idea that he’s being a total dipshit. OGDA grabs the fat fan by the arm and motions for the fans to part~
Smith: Oh no! What’s he going to do to that fan?
Hood: Whatever it is it won’t be punishment enough. I hate fans like that
~The crowd parts to reveal an open path. OGDA then performs an IRISH WHIP! The fat fan takes off with his belly and underarms jiggling. He stumbles and runs as fast as he can. He keeps running. He’s headed for the empty lot…the lone lot in the cul-de-sac without a house. He just keeps running and running. He eventually disappears into the foliage that makes up the empty lot. He’s vanished from sight. Everyone pauses, wondering what’s going on~
Smith: Hmm
Hood: I guess that’s what happens when you irish whip a guy into empty space
Smith: Well here’s hoping he runs into something sooner or later
Hood: Gotta commend the guy for his immaculate selling. He’s really protecting the business
~You can almost hear crickets chirping as the cul-de-sac is stunned. Is he going to come back? Did he get sucked into another dimension? What’s the deal? OGDA, staring into the dark woods where the fan ran into is suddenly bashed from behind by Harrison! He stumbles and falls over the fat fan’s lawn chair! Harrison grabs the chair and folds it up. He starts to smash it over OGDA’s back! The masked superhero crawls away, trying to create some distance…but crawling isn’t that effective when trying to escape a guy on his feet. So Harrison continues to bash him with the lawn chair, over the back. OGDA rolls over onto his back, arching it in pain. Harrison takes the top of the chair and jams it into OGDA’s throat, cutting off his wind. OGDA kicks his feet around and reaches for the chair, trying to remove it from his windpipe~
Smith: Mike Harrison making the most of what’s left of that fan
Hood: At least it isn’t a steel chair…although I’m sure that shit still hurts
Smith: I’d imagine anything jammed against your windpipe would hurt
~Harrison leans forward, over the chair for added pressure and leverage. OGDA manages to get both hands underneath the top of the chair and he thrusts his arms forward!! The bottom metal pole of the chair SMACKS Harrison in the chin! Mike staggers back and drops the chair. OGDA turns around and crawls away, looking for an opportunity to regain his breath. He crawls out of the grass onto a cement pathway which leads to three steps that end at the front door of this modest home. He gets to the top of the steps and rolls over, sitting up against the door. He almost falls backward…the door wasn’t shut, so his weight pushes the door open. He catches himself and leans against the side of the doorway. There are a couple of pumpkins nearby with traditional Halloween carvings. Lit candles burn from within them~
Smith: Those pumpkins may not be long for this world
Hood: I was thinking the same thing
Smith: Do you still carve pumpkins?
Hood: Fuck no…digging your hands into all that gooey shit…NO THANKS
~Mike returns to his feet with a cut underneath his chin. It isn’t anything awful, just a small cut. He doesn’t even seem to notice. Instead, he moves his bottom jaw back and forth, making sure everything is okay and then he heads for OGDA. Some guy nearby yells “BE CAREFUL! THAT’s MY HOUSE!” Harrison ignores this fool. OGDA reaches over, still on his ass, he grabs a pumpkin and throws it at Harrison. Harrison dodges…the pumpkin SPLATS all over the walkway. OGDA grabs the second pumpkin. Harrison is ready for this one. OGDA throws it…but Mike catches it! Mike runs forward and slams the pumpkin over OGDA’s head!! OGDA falls onto his back, halfway in the front door, covered in pumpkin guts~
Smith: Well let’s hope OGDA doesn’t hate the inside of a pumpkin as much as you do
Hood: I guess this is where wearing a mask comes in handy
Smith: Indeed
~OGDA is temporarily blinded by the pumpkin guts. Harrison kicks him in the head! OGDA tumbles backward, fully into the house. Harrison steps in and stomps OGDA in the stomach, keeping him down. He grabs OGDA by the bottom of his mask and pulls him up. He slams OGDA head first into the front door. He then slings OGDA backward, bashing the back of OGDA’s head into the entry way wall! OGDA shoves Harrison away and stumbles deeper into the home, shaking his head. Pumpkin guts fly everywhere. Harrison gives chase~
Smith: I’m sure this fan will be compensated for the damages
Hood: He should thank us…that house sucks
Smith: Be nice
~OGDA stumbles into the kitchen. Harrison runs forward, palms the back of OGDA’s head and slams him head first into the steel exterior of the refrigerator. OGDA stumbles through the kitchen, holding his head. The big man won’t go down. Harrison continues to give chase…he grabs OGDA from behind and drags the man from the kitchen into the living area where a giant flat screen television is attached to the wall. He slings OGDA toward the TV. OGDA crashes into the TV, cracking the screen! OGDA falls to the ground dislodging the TV which falls on top of him. The homeowner rushes in with his hands on top of his head yelling “I LOVE THAT TV!”~
Smith: And more damage is accrued
Hood: That’s life when you attend an OCW event
Smith: To be fair we brought the show to him
Hood: Well that’s life when you own a home in or near a city hosting an OCW event
~Harrison picks up the TV and holds it over his head. Dude’s got some strong arms. He brings the tv crashing back down on top of OGDA! The home owner cries out. Harrison pulls OGDA from the wreckage and whips him out of the TV room diagonally down a hallway where he CRASHES through a door. The home owner’s eyes widen. “No! No! That’s my computer room! I LIVE there!” Harrison doesn’t care…he pie faces the owner and heads after OGDA~
Smith: The man loves his computer room
Hood: You think he sits on the computer all day playing games?
Smith: Isn’t that what most men do these days?
Hood: Sadly, I think so
~We follow Harrison into the man’s computer room. His high tech computer is seated in the corner, near a window. OGDA is on the ground, lying atop the wood flooring which fills the entire home. Harrison stomps OGDA in the stomach causing the big man to sit up as a reflex. Harrison grabs him by the head and tosses him into the man’s computer station!! He barrels into the computer and all the electronic accessories, making a mess. He stands OGDA up, against the window. Harrison looks ready to end it. He lunges forward with the Sunshine Superkick!!! OGDA ducks!! Harrison stops JUST SHORT of kicking through the window. He leans up against the window looking out at all the people. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. He turns around and is SPEARED THROUGH THE WINDOW by OGDA!! Everyone gasps outside!! Harrison lands roughly in the yard, he appears to be out. OGDA is on top of him, barely moving. The people in the cul-de-sac don’t know how to react. The home owner emerges…he stands in the computer room standing over the shattered window. He turns to find his computer in good shape. He then starts to chant “HOLY SHIT!” This tells the people it’s okay to cheer so they go wild!!~
Smith: That man’s most prized possession – his computer is still intact!
Hood: Well good for him
Smith: You seem a big supercilious
Hood: That’s because I’m watching a masked FREAK who is in love with a cat…or cats, I don’t know…come close to dethroning a TRUE champion
~OGDA seems to still be a bit loopy from all the head shots he’s taken. He remains on top of Harrison. Gruff finally appears, stepping through the broken window with a SANDWICH in his hand. He takes a bite and goes to count…but Harrison is already moving. So he remains on his feet, enjoying the sandwich. The home owner asks Gruff if he took any of the SALAMI. Gruff nods with wide, lust filled eyes. The owner nods, understandably. Harrison returns to his feet. He’s got blood all over his back. He looks down at OGDA and kicks him. OGDA starts to move. Harrison kicks him again. OGDA continues to rise. Harrison looks around, stunned~
Smith: OGDA is rising! This man is something!
Hood: Get out of there, Mike! Take your title and get away from this masked freak!
Smith: I think he might be able to hear you, Hood
~Harrison kicks and kicks at OGDA. OGDA is on his feet. It’s as though he is impervious to these kicks. He reaches out and grabs Harrison by the throat! Harrison kicks OGDA in the knee! OGDA stumbles and releases Harrison. Harrison turns and heads out of the yard, back into the cul-de-sac. He picks up his title and rushes toward the limo which is still stuck. He bangs on the window, asking for the limo driver to let him in. The limo driver furiously shakes his head ‘no’~
Smith: Yea, I don’t think that limo driver wants the interior to match the exterior
Hood: Let the guy in! It’s just some blood on his back, no big deal. A little bleach and that shit washes right out
~OGDA motions for some fans to get on their hands and knees. For whatever reason they not only understand what he’s telling them but they adhere to his order. A bunch of fans get down, creating something of a platform. OGDA sprints toward them. He hops on top of the fans, charges forward and leaps through the air. A frustrated Harrison flips off the driver and turns around. As he does he sees OGDA flying at him! Harrison can’t move! He’s BLASTED with a flying forearm RIGHT in the face!! The back of his head CRASHES through the limo passenger’s window!! He falls to his knees before landing on his bloodied back. OGDA makes the cover! The crowd is going wild! Gruff hustles over with half a sandwich in his mouth. He drops to his knees and makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The fans in the cul-de-sac, inside the Mortuary and outside the Mortuary all go wild as we hear a bell ring. OGDA pops to his feet and he snares the Craze championship~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW CRAZE CHAMPION…OGDA!!!!!
Smith: He did it! OGDA dethroned the undefeated Mike Harrison!
Hood: Man every time I think tonight is getting back on track something fucking ridiculous happens. BOOOOO
Smith: Glad to see you are in the Halloween spirit with that booing!
Hood: That wasn’t a ghost boo! That was a “oh no another masked guy has a belt” boo!
~OGDA is about to head over to the Slam Buss when the people in the cul-de-sac wave him over to celebrate. He hesitates for a moment…he looks at the Slam Buss and Uber Man hanging half out the window…he then looks at the crowd of people waving him over and makes the right choice. He staggers and stumbles over, with Gruff alongside to celebrate his win with these fans. Harrison, meanwhile, remains on the cul-de-sac. We cut back to the Mortuary~
Smith: How will Mike Harrison handle his first defeat?
Hood: I hope he comes back and kicks ass. That man is too talented to let one loss fuck him up
Smith: Indeed…here’s hoping he bounces back better than ever. But, congratulations to OGDA…he’s been working hard so that title win is well deserved.
~We cut backstage where we see Vincent Langston sitting on a bench just outside of Gorilla position, his hard fought and earned Savage Championship in hand, hunkered forward. Beside him sits the OCW Tag Team Championship. There's fresh tape on the side of his face, his right hand, and a large strip down his back, all battle wounds and potential scars from his encounter with Iggy Hardy. He still has a furious expression on his face, hanging onto the rage that helped him win earlier.~
~The Rebel walks up beside him in full ring gear, a hint of guilt on her face as she surveys the damage for a moment. Reaching out tentatively, she pats his shoulder and he violently shrugs it off, his head whipping up to look at her as if he were going to murder the woman. It takes a moment before recognition sets in. Melinda doesn't flinch, but the expression becomes stone-like and hard to read.~
Langston: What do you want Rhodes? There's still five minutes until our match.
~The Rebel slowly nods her head.~
Rebel: I know things have been tense.... I just wanted to touch base.
Langston: If you haven't added any new twists without telling me, then it doesn't matter. All that matters right now is the next fight. I'll do what I do best. I'll get those fuckers you hate, and I'll break them in half.
~And with that Langston rises and storms off, leaving Melinda standing there with her head lowered. She notices almost instantly that he's left the tag belt and takes a deep breath. Leaning forward she picks up the gleaming belt, small spatters of Langston's blood dried upon it from earlier.~
Rebel: I know you will, Vincent.
~She shoulders his tag title along with hers, wipes briefly at her eyes, and heads down the path towards the stage as the music begins to play.~
Smith: There seems to be some serious tension between those two. Is success getting into Langston's head?
Hood: No, I think having wounds all over his body is getting to his head...that and blood loss. If I were Langston I'd bounce. Fuck this tag bullshit, he's a singles champion now
Smith: Well let's hope he doesn't think the way that you do. Rhodes is counting on him and I for one hope he's there to back her up. I'd hate to see 'BroCode' win anything other than a pink slip from OCW management
Hood: And this is why you don't hire people
Smith: Whatever...well folks it's time to find out of Langston will be there to back his tag partner up as the OCW Tag Team Titles are on the line NEXT!
OCW Tag Team Championship
No Disqualification Tornado Tag Match
Legendary Trifecta © (5-0) vs. BroCode (0-0)
Belvedere: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS FOR THE OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! IT IS A TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH WITH NO DISQUALIFICATIONS! INTRODUCING FIRST....
~"I Am Legend" echoes through the Mortuary, followed by the build-up of the music. The claps and heavy beat are joined by lasers and flashing lights as the music blasts out. Vincent Langston walks to the ring. The left side of his face is heavily bandaged. His right hand is wrapped up. His back is covered in medical tape. The fans look on cheering. Some are in shock that the man is back out here competing so soon after his bout with Iggy. He peels the Savage Championship from around his waist to a solid ovation from the respectful, possibly concerned crowd.~
Hood: Looks like the tag champs are coming out first!
Smith: Champs never come out first!
Hood: Well tonight, it looks like Fucking Tradition is on the menu!
Belvedere: STANDING AT 6' 4" AND WEIGHING IN AT 230 LBS, FROM WASHINGTON D.C..... REPRESENTING THE LEGENDARY TRIFECTA, SAVAGE CHAMPIONSHIP, AND ONE HALF OF THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF OCW.... VVVVVVINCENT "THE LEGEND" LLLLLAAANNNGGGSSSTTTOOONNN!!!
*CROWD POP!*
Smith: There seems to be trouble in paradise for The Legendary Trifecta!
Hood: Yeah not entering together is always a bad sign for a tag team!
Belvedere: AND HIS PARTNER....
#BLACK VULTURES CIRCLING THAA...
#BLACK VULTURES CIRCLING TTHAAA...
#SSSSSSKKKKKKKKYYYYYYY!!!!!
~Halestorm's, "Black Vultures" assaults the P/A system.. Through the trash bag curtains steps a fit, pale skinned, raven haired and heavily tattooed woman. Her dark brown eyes wander over the crowd as she stands upon the stage, taking it all in for a moment. On her face we find dark crimson painted on her full lips and red highlighted black eye shadow over her eyes. Her modest chest is contained by a fringed red and blue leather vest, her ass covered by black and silver tights. She sports standard black pads on her elbows and knees, with knee high laced wrestling boots to match. On her wrists are red, white, and blue bands. Upon her hips rests a thick black leather belt with a large and square silver buckle that reads in an ornate font, "REBEL." Upon her shoulder rests a pair of gleaming championship belts.~
Belvedere: ON HER WAY TO THE RING....
~She makes her way to the ring with a confident stride. It doesn't take her long to reach ringside. She climbs the steps, wipes her feet on the apron, and slips through the ropes.~
Belvedere: FROM ROME, GEORGIA, STANDING AT FIVE FEET AND ELEVEN INCHES TALL AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO POUNDS...
ONE HALF OF THE OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!
RRRRRREEEEBBBBBEEEEEELLLLL RRRRRRHHHHHHOOOOODDDDDDEEEESSSSS!!!!
*HUGE CROWD POP!!!*
~Melinda walks up to Langston and presents him his title. He reclaims it with little emotion and something of a sigh. This seems to be more of an obligation to Langston than a task he’d like to achieve. This prompts a hard gaze in response, as Belvedere announces their challengers.~
Belvedere: AND THE CHALLENGERS....
#YOU'RE IN MY DOMAIN!
#GOT THE WHOLE CROWD,
#SCREAMING OUT OUR NAME!
#IT'S A BLOW OUT!
#IT'S A HURRICANE!
#IT'S OOOOOVVVEERRR!!!
#BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!!!
~"For the Glory" by All Good Things hit's a heavy bass thud over the Mortuary speaker system. The lights begin to flash orange and gold. Walking through a shower of sparks are the most dominant men in all of professional wrestling, the massive hulking frame of Bruce Rage wearing a black flame designed vest and ring gear that consists of black trunks with a gold alpha logo upon the crotch that matched the ones on his knee pads, laced wrestling boots, wrist bands, and gold chain around his neck. Beside him is Jacob Hotstuff wearing designer shades, a long and especially studded brown leather coat, black and gold glittery tights, fringed wrestling boots, and black tape on his hands. Both men throw their fists in the air with Bruce slowly bending forward with a dual bicep arm curl! The two then give each other a bro fist with hand explosion combination!~
Belvedere: FROM HOLLYWOOD CALIFORNIA, WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 405 LBS....
~The duo promptly make their way down the aisle towards the ring, Bruce looking focused and intense like an athlete going to war while Jacob laughs and mocks fans in passing. Seeing a random sign insulting him, he snatches it and rips it apart, throwing the pieces back in the face of the fan while laughing. The two men promptly arrive at ringside with Bruce climbing the ring steps as Jacob hops onto the apron. He runs his fingers over his scalp and flings a small bit of sweat towards the fans before slipping through the ropes. Bruce walks along the edge of the apron for a moment before pushing down on the ropes and slipping one leg over the top, followed by the other, in proper big man fashion~
Belvedere: JACOB HOTSTUFF AND BRUCE RAGE.... THE #BBBBBRRRRROOOOOCCCCOOOOODDDDDEEE!
*HUGE HEEL JEER*
~Bruce roars at the crowd, "BBBBRRROOOOCCCCOOOODDDDDEEE!" while beating his chest with loud meaty smacks. He then raises both of his fists into the air. Jacob promptly removes his coat and tosses it towards their corner, promptly followed by his shades. He flexes a bit, putting his Hollywood cut physique on full display~
Hood: Now THIS is what a tag team should look like!
~As the music dies down, Bruce Rage gets right in Vincent Langston's face, the two forehead to forehead as Bruce repeatedly shouts at him! Langston lets both championships fall down beside him.~
Bruce: THINK I'M SCARED OF YOU?! I FEAR NO MAN, BITCH!!! I'M RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING!!! FUCKING DO-
~Rage is interrupted by a stiff forearm to the face by Langston followed by a hard shove back! As the two immediately trade blows, the Rebel barely has time drop the tag belts and block a quick running punch from Jacob. She promptly answers with a few peppered jabs of her own driving him back! Referee Scruff shows up at that moment and simply shrugs, reaching through the ropes to pull any championship belts out to safety and motions for the bell outside the ring!~
*DING DING DING!*
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: BroCode showing that they are full of fight! Alpha males ready to take control of this match and the tag team division!
Smith: I’m no fan of their antics but I’d be a fool to deny their talent
~Bruce ducks underneath a swing from Langston and lifts him up like an oversized ragdoll spinebuster style, runs for the ropes and HURLS Vincent bodily out of the ring! Referee Scruff narrowly avoids the flying body as Langston hits the time keeper's table and crumples up with a growl of pain! Vincent winces, reaching for his already damaged back. His eyes open wide. He leans his head back and stares into the web covered chandelier possibly wondering what he’s doing out here. Why go through this?~
Smith: Langston’s biggest fears are perhaps being realized. He’s already torn up from the barbed wire match with Iggy and now he’s facing two fresh men in another battle
Hood: Yep, even a legend like Langston needs his rest, time to recuperate
Smith: Indeed. You can see it on his face. He’s well aware that he shouldn’t be out here. It isn’t what’s best for his career.
~Behind him, the Rebel catches Jacob's arm, twisting and turning him into a super tight standing wristlock. She drives her elbow right into his, getting a howl of pain as her reward. One more twist doubles him over to keep the Rebel from snapping that wrist. She promptly kicks him in the ribs and then flips him to the canvas with a snap armdrag.~
Smith: Melinda Rhodes, meanwhile is fresh! This is the match she’s been eyeing for weeks!
Hood: Yea these tag belts mean everything to her.
Smith: Indeed. She doesn’t have a singles title to protect, like her partner
~She turns just in time to duck a running clothesline from Bruce Rage, peppering him in the ribs with hard wicked body shots. Meanwhile, Jacob rolls out of the ring, wringing his wrist with a wince and trying to stay mostly out of sight!~
Smith: Rhodes is holding her own! Maybe she can defend these things ON her own?
Hood: You trying to cut BroCode’s nuts off? Seriously!
Smith: I’m no fan of castration! She is looking strong, though
Hood: She always looks strong. You think a person can survive this long in professional wrestling WITHOUT being strong?
Smith: Excellent point!
~The Rebel ducks and weaves the lumbering arms of Bruce Rage. Bruce then ducks down scooping the Rebel up as he did Langston, only for the Rebel to leap with his lift, flipping over him and landing behind him with a tuck and roll right back to her feet, not even daring to attempt a sunset flip. Instead she rushes for the ropes, snaps, and rebounds as he turns, throwing both feet into his chest with a dropkick that sends him staggering back a couple steps!~
Smith: She’s on fire!
Hood: Yea she looks good. She still has that Oh Shit contract, doesn’t she?
Smith: She does
~She gets to her feet and sees him rushing in with a power lariat, but ducks and rolls his shot, catching him with a savate kick in one of his kidneys, which only sends him forward one step. Bruce growls with pain, spins around with another steam roller lariat, but the Rebel leaps up, catches the arm, wraps her legs around it and proceeds to lock him in tight with a hanging Cross Armbar on the still standing Bruce Rage! Bruce howls in pain, trying to get her off of him.~
Hood: Yea all those muscles aren’t doing him much good at the moment
Smith: They are not
~Jacob Hotstuff rolls into the ring with a chair and just as he's about to swing the weapon, it's kicked back into his face and he's sent fumbling through the ropes by none other than Vincent Langston, the chair clatters down to the canvas at his feet!~
Smith: The Legend is back in the ring! Man he’s quick
Hood: I guess he decided to stick it out after all
Smith: There’s no quit in that man, Hood. I’d be stunned if he didn’t see this match through
~Bruce suddenly shoots a look of pure, terrifying fury and curls his arm against every ounce of the Rebel's body weight and physical strength. Melinda, wide eyes, looks around wildly for any kind of solution only for Bruce to raise her up in the air and then bring her crashing to the mat where he proceeds to repeatedly bash her into the canvas head first over and over *WHABAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BBBAAAMMM!!* until finally she let go, falling off his arm, clutching her skull throbbing skull.~
Smith: And those muscles finally come in handy
Hood: That’s what it looks like when a roided up man has had ENOUGH of some bitchy woman
Smith: We are in no way advocating man on woman violence, fans
~Langston rolls out of the ring, giving pursuit to a running away Hotstuff. Back in the ring, Bruce gathers the Rebel up and hurls her into a corner, then rushes forward. Full steam ahead, his face meets her boot, sending him staggering back. She then hops to the top rope and leaps off with a spinning headscissor that takes him off his already unbalanced feet!~
Smith: Rebel fighting back once again!
Hood: I’m beginning to question how intelligent Bruce is. Checkers might be smarter
Smith: Very rarely does a person possess elite brains AND brawn. It’s usually one or the other
Hood: Haha, you just called him retarded
Smith: I did not!
~Bruce tucks and rolls on impact into the ropes, which he uses to get to his feet. The Rebel rushes in, scooping up the chair and cracking Bruce right across the side of his head with enough force to cause a near whiplash like reaction in his neck! *FWHACKT!!!!*~
Smith: Rhodes getting into the spirit of this evening with that chair shot
Hood: Let your hair down, Rhodes! Don’t be shy!
Smith: If there’s one thing the Rebel isn’t, it’s shy
~Melinda drops the chair and hops up, latching on a front facelock and looking be ready to drop him with a DDT onto the chair, only for him to hook his arms around her waist, hoist her up and savagely slam her down onto the folded steel instead! Melinda bounces with the loud *WHACK!* upon the steel chair, grabbing at her back and thrashing in pain, cursing in multiple languages from the sound of it.~
Smith: Oh no, that did not look good
Hood: Eventually this woman is going to stay down
Smith: Who are you pulling for here?
Hood: BroCode, baby!
~Just as Bruce's about to savagely put the boots to her, Vincent Langston breaks off pursuit of Jacob and slides in, picking up the steel chair, hopping to his feet and bringing the weapon savagely crashing upon Bruce's back. *FWHACK!* Bruce stiffens, his eyes getting wider as he turns to face Langston!~
Smith: Langston with the save!
Hood: Ugh…I liked “conflicted” Langston better
Smith: He’s been through so much with Rhodes you just knew he’d get into this match and help her out
~Vincent hits him with a second chair shot straight to the head *FFFWHHACK!* When Bruce doesn't go down, Langston hits the shot again and again, harder and harder, driving Bruce back a step with each loud *FWHACK!* until the chair starts to warp! On the SIXTH chairshot, Bruce drops to one kneel. The chair is barely holding together when Vincent promptly hits Bruce with one last chair shot....~
*FFFFWWWHHHHHAAAACCCCCRRRAAAKKKKTTTTLLLUNK!*
~....The chair breaks apart in multiple pieces as a now bleeding Bruce Rage is rocked flat on his back. ~
Smith: Finally he brings the big man down!
Hood: Bruce Rage showing some Iggy Hardy like resilience
Smith: And just like Iggy Hardy, Vincent Langston was able to take Bruce Rage down
~Langston holds the remains up in the air, nodding his head with a wicked grin. It's at that point that Jacob Hotstuff slides into the ring and rushes in behind Langston with a running kick to the back. Langston is moved one step forward, dropping the remains of the chair. He promptly spins around to face Jacob, who is promptly backing away from him. Langston hops back and bursts towards Jacob who raises his hands defensively and shakes his head over and over!~
Smith: I’m not sure Jacob wants any of The Legend
Hood: Get out of there, Jacob! Save yourself!
Smith: Such little confidence in Mr. Hotstuff
~At the last second, Jacob drops low, catching Langston with a drop toe hold that plants him across the second rope. Quickly Jacob sits up, flashing a sly smile back at his rival before sliding out of the ring under the bottom rope. He sprints around the corner and with all his agility, he leaps into the air, planting a double footed dropkick to the side of Langston's face!~
Smith: Oh my! He just NAILED Langston right into the left side of his face! That’s the injured side for those of you keeping score
Hood: Oh man that had to hurt. Langston’s face is all fucked up from that match earlier
Smith: It is
~
~As Langston reels from the impact, Jacob looks directly to the hard cam and mouths just two words; "Be'lie That!" Vincent rolls out of the ring as the Rebel gets to her feet, a little shaken from being dumped on her head repeatedly. It's at that moment she catches Jacob climbing onto the top rope, looking to do a big aerial move! The Rebel rushes in, Jacob realizing he's not set and in no position to defend himself as Melinda manages to pick him up off the turnpost, every muscle in her body quivering as she walks away from the corner with Hotstuff high over her head. She promptly dumps him to the canvas in classic fashion, then let's out a loud cry to the crowd!~
Rebel: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!!!!
~Langston is leaning against the guardrail. The left side of his face is covered in blood soaked bandaging. All the cuts on his face have reopened. We see blood starting to re-emerge on his back. Even his right hand is bleeding again. His wounds have been made fresh for the second time this evening. He’s in pain. He looks up at Rhodes to see her celebrating. She’s not looking at him. She’s busy taking in all the crowd’s adoration. The spotlight is on her~
Smith: There’s that look in Langston’s eyes again
Hood: Yea...I think he’s annoyed that she isn’t out there checking on him. She’s playing to the crowd.
Smith: She’s caught in the moment, Hood. Who can blame her?
Hood: I think Langston might
~Langston, bloodied and battered, gets to his feet. He heads for the announce table and snares his Savage Title, leaving the tag title behind. He walks around the ring, making his way toward the aisle. Rebel doesn’t notice. She’s still focused on what’s going on in the match. At that moment she sees Bruce Rage slowly getting to his feet, his face practically a crimson mask. He stumbles drunkenly right into a 3/4th's necklock and the Rebel plummets to the canvas hitting Bruce Rage with THE SHOT IN THE DARK!!! The big man hit's the canvas with a loud thud and the Rebel scrambles for the cover!~
ONE!!!
TTTTWWWOOO!!!
TTTTHHHHRRRE-BOOT TO THE BACK - BROKEN UP!!!
~Jacob promptly boots the Rebel right off of Bruce, sending her rolling with a growl of pain. She gets up using the ropes and suddenly notices she's alone in the ring. The camera pans to see what she sees, spotting Vincent Langston walking away from the ring and heading straight to the back with his Savage Championship over his shoulder!~
Hood: Right on, Langston! Do what’s best for YOU
Rebel: What the fuck....?
Smith: Vincent Langston is abandoning Melinda Rhodes!!!! I can’t believe he’d do this!
~The shock and dismay she experiences leaves her open for Jacob Hotstuff to roll in behind her, slip a hand between her legs and roll her up and over, pinning her shoulders to the mat under his full body weight!!!~
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
~Just as it seems Melinda's about to kick out, Jacob puts both feet on the ropes for added leverage, unseen by the referee!~
Smith: HIS FEET ARE ON THE ROPES! OPEN YOUR EYES REF!!!!
Hood: Wouldn't matter anyways! No DQ, remember?
TTTTHHHHRRREEE!!!
*DING DING DING!*
*HHHHUUUUGGGGGEEEE HEEL JEER!!!!*
Hood: FUCK YES!
~The Rebel powers out but it's too little too late as Jacob rolls out and pulls Bruce back through the ropes with him! The Referee quickly presents them with the Tag Team Championship belts! "For the Glory" hits the Mortuary speaker system~
Belvedere: THE WINNERS OF THIS MATCH AND NEW OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... JACOB HOTSTUFF AND BRUCE RAGE!!! #BBBBBBRRRROOOOCCCCOOOOODDDDEEE!!!
~Melinda stares forward, blankly, in disbelief at what had just happened. Jacob Hotstuff and Bruce Rage both laugh it up, despite Bruce barely being able to stand or see thanks to the tremendous amount of blood running down his face and chest.~
Smith: Melinda Rhodes got absolutely ROBBED tonight!
Hood: No she got played like a two-bit fiddle.
~The Rebel leans through the second rope, draped there, knowing full well what cost her this moment. Her head lowers as she accepts defeat. Both she and her plug-n-play partner had been played, well and truly. When she looks back up at them as they disappear through the curtains, her jaw sets and an angry scowl plays across her face. The look on her face spoke volumes in silence. There would be retribution and it was coming on the wings of hell itself. The crowd boos with every ounce of hate they have!~
Smith: What a shameful ending to this tag team championship! The Legendary Trifecta fell apart right before our eyes and Vincent Langston let Hotstuff and Rage walk away with the championships!
Hood: On that we can agree on. I hope Langston realizes that he just walked out on the holder of the 'Oh Shit!' contract. I wonder if Melinda just picked out who she might cash it in on finally.
Smith: I for one hope not, for it would make her no better than Langston!
Hood: Who's to say she won't give a fuck what anyone thinks in the next couple days, Smith?
Smith: Well I hope the Rebel finds a new partner and gets those belts back, because this was a terrible way to end a tremendous run with Langston. They single handedly rebuilt OCW’s tag division and it would be an incredible shame if the benefits of all their work went solely to BroCode
Hood: Nah, I think it’d be amazing
Smith: Hotstuff only wrestles once every six weeks! He doesn’t DESERVE a title. Ugh…I’m going to blow a gasket if we keep talking about this. I’m upset Langston did what he did and my heart goes out to Rhodes. I’m sure she will get her revenge…her justice in some form or fashion
~We cut to a shot somewhere in New Orleans. A young couple is seen exiting Burger King with that nasty ass GREEN hamburger. They are sharing it because they are SO IN LOVE. They also have the black slushy that comes with it for an extra three bucks or something ridiculous. It’s their version of getting into the Halloween groove. The chick bites down and gets some mayonnaise on the side of her mouth. Her boyfriend chuckles~
Boyfriend: Oops, got a little something there. Looks familiar!
Girlfriend: Oh stop!
Boyfriend: Here, let me wipe it off
Girlfriend: OR you can lick it off like you usually do…
~The boyfriend smiles. We groan and nearly puke (the audience!) He leans in to lick it off when the pounding of heavy feet are heard. A giant body BARRELS right through them, knocking them to the ground. The boyfriend looks to his girlfriend who is PISSED. She wipes the mayo from her mouth and screams at the intruder~
Girlfriend: Hey! Come back here, asshole!
~We get a good shot of the intruder. It’s the FAN that was irish whipped by OGDA during the Craze Title match. He’s STILL running. He also managed to snare the burger from the couple while knocking them over. He takes a bite and smiles – it’s apparently delicious. He keeps on running, though, right through the Burger King parking lot and into a field behind the fast food establishment. The boyfriend is on his feet…he helps the girl up~
Girlfriend: Who was that ASSHOLE?
Boyfriend: I would say a nighttime jogger but, I mean, look at the guy.
Girlfriend: Did he take our burger? That thing cost like ten bucks!
Boyfriend: That’s alright, I’m about to get a promotion at Wendy’s to staff manager. I’ll go get us another one.
~He hustles inside to buy another burger as we cut to the exterior of the Mortuary. Who’Re is standing by uncomfortably while AKB makes out with the girl from earlier. She maintains her composure in an effort to get the job done~
Who’Re: What a night of action so far! Three title matches and THREE new champions! OGDA is the new Craze Champion. Vincent Langston is the new Savage Champion. And, as you just saw, BroCode are the NEW Tag Team Champions. Could we see a clean sweep tonight? Only time will tell. But, up next we will watch two of the most athletic men in OCW compete in the FINAL LightWeight match in OCW history. The winner will go down in history as the final OCW LightWeight Champion. So…who do you all have?!
~Who’Re, on a platform, yells out to any fan within shouting distance. The ones who hear her cheer~
Who’Re: Ed Houston or Curt Canon? Who’s going to win?
~A dueling “Ed” and “Curt” chant breaks out. Who’Re looks into the camera and shrugs~
Who’Re: The crowd is split out here, guys!
~We cut away from Who’Re and back to Smith and Hood. The cables are set above the ring with the vintage LightWeight Title hanging from the center. That means it’s time for the LightWeight Championship match~
Smith: Thanks for the reporting, Who’Re AND for maintaining your professionalism. Hood…Ed or Curt, who do you have?
Hood: I’m old school. I gotta go with Curt.
Smith: Well I’ll pick Ed. He’s had a rough week, personally. Here’s hoping he can end it on a high note. Folks, it’s time for the final LightWeight match in OCW history. Let’s head down to ringside as Curt Canon and Ed Houston close one of the most prolific chapters in company history
OCW LightWeight Championship
Ultimate X Match
Curt Canon (13-5-1) vs. Ed Houston (12-7)
~We get a good shot of the ring. There are two cables crossing diagonally over the ring creating an ‘X’. The latent, soon to be defunct OCW LightWeight Title is hanging from the center of the ‘X’. These cables are a good fifteen feet above the canvas. The fans are snaring some fresh beer during the down time between matches. They’d better fucking hurry because shit’s about to get moving. Belvedere clears his throat. The fans inside the Mortuary go wild!!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the final LightWeight match in OCW history!!! This match is for the OCW LightWeight Championship…the winner will be recognized as the final LightWeight Champion in OCW history as that division will be retired following this contest. This match is an Ultimate X match. The LightWeight belt is hanging from the center of a giant ‘X’ above the ring. The first wrestler to release the title and obtain full possession will be declared the winner!
~The crowd goes wild! It’s the first Ultimate X match in OCW history. These OCW fans have heard of this concept yet they’ve never seen it. So, ya know, this is ground breaking shit for an ancient division~
Belvedere: Introducing first…
~”Rocket Man” by Elton John hits! The crowd goes wild at first…then they start to sing the words to the famous song! We spot a fan who’s dressed as an amalgamated Ed Houston/Elton John. It’s weird. But he’s really into the song. Ed Houston emerges from behind the curtain to a huge ovation!! The kid pauses, taking in the ambiance. He looks ahead at the LW title hanging from the ‘X’ and nods his head before sprinting down the skinny aisle and sliding head first into the ring. He pops to his feet and leaps onto the middle buckle, signaling out to all his fans~
Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 180lbs…he is a former OCW Craze Champion…he is Ed Houston!!!
~The crowd is getting louder and louder while singing Rocket Man. The people outside are joining in. Nothing can stop them…NOTHING…well, almost nothing. The song comes to an abrupt end! “Figure 8” by Trust Company fills the Mortuary. It blares through the speakers outside. The crowd boos because, I mean, c’mon…Elton John or Trust Company? Regardless, they can’t do anything about it. Curt Canon emerges from behind the curtain dressed as a NASA licensed Astronaut!! The fans react with a mixture of “BOOO” and “OOOHHH”. Canon pauses and reaches behind the trash bag curtain to obtain an American Flag~
Smith: What’s he doing?!
Hood: He’s trying to get into Ed Houston’s head! Mind games, Smith! This is impressive, I had no idea Curt had enough brain power to try something like this!
Smith: This is rude and disrespectful. Sure Ed may have not made it through NASA but at least he tried…he got further than most!
Hood: A failure is a failure is a failure. He failed in NASA and he’s going to fail tonight. Curt is just giving him a heads up
~Curt marches toward the ring as though he’s walking on the moon. He’s taking overly big steps in a very cautious manner. He gets to the ring and slowly rolls in under the bottom rope. His suit and helmet are a bit cumbersome. He gets to his feet inside the ring and he slams the flag down into the canvas. It doesn’t impale the mat (thank goodness) so it just sort of falls to the side. Ed scurries to pick it up before the flag can touch the ground. He gets a strong ovation for that. Curt backs into a corner and slowly removes his helmet revealing a face we’ve all grown extremely familiar with. His hair is sweaty and matted down from being smothered under the confined helmet. He starts to remove the rest of the suit while Belvedere gives him his proper introduction~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is the last person to hold the OCW LightWeight Title…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is Curt Canon!!!
~Curt Canon removes the rest of the suit and dumps it carelessly over the top rope to the floor on the outside. Ed takes the American Flag and secures it behind the ring post in his corner. It sticks out over the post as a symbol of freedom and unity! Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: Here we go! This is like looking in a mirror that ages both ways. Curt’s viewing a younger version of himself. Ed’s viewing an older version of himself. These two men couldn’t be more alike, aside from their age difference.
Hood: Yep…Curt’s got a monkey. Ed’s got two
Smith: How do you mean?
Hood: Aren’t Warren Lapierre and TLS in some sort of club of his?
Smith: They aren’t monkeys!
Hood: They may as well be…fucking primitive idiots
~Houston is about to turn and face Canon when he sees that the flag is less than stable. So he steps onto the second rope to make sure it’s secured. Canon sprints forward! He grabs Ed by the legs and hoists him over the top rope to the floor!! Ed flips over, landing on his back…probably the safest landing but still a rough one! The flag falls away from the post, landing on the ground next to Ed. The crowd BOOOS! Canon stands on the second buckle and flexes ala Scott Syren…the boos only increase~
Smith: What a jerk! What’s gotten into Curt?!
Hood: He’s doing what he has to, Smith. He wants to be the final LightWeight Champion. It would be another major coup for his legacy
Smith: He’s desecrating the flag! He’s no NASA man!
Hood: Of course he’s not! He hangs around with Scott Syren and a monkey named Checkers. You think the guy really gives a shit about national symbolism?
~Canon finishes posing and stands on the top buckle, looking down at Ed. Ed is already back to his feet, holding his back. Canon leaps off with a high cross body and he connects!! Both men tumble backwards landing into the skinny, flimsy steel barricade!! The fans at ringside step back to avoid having their drinks spilled. Canon pops to his feet, limping a bit…his knees absorbed some of the fall. He spots a fan dressed as SCOTT SYREN and reaches over, feeling his muscles. Canon gives the man a big THUMBS UP. He then heads over for the American Flag~
Smith: His high flying ability is impressive, especially when you take into account his age. Curt Canon, that is
Hood: You calling Curt old? Man, I’m telling
Smith: Whatever. I’m just concerned…why is Curt heading over to the flag. It’s already touched the ground which is totally disrespectful
Hood: Maybe he wants to give it to that fan who is dressed as Syren considering Syren is an American hero
Smith: Right
~Canon snares the American Flag. The crowd is already booing. Canon doesn’t seem to mind. He’s got larger goals than appeasing the fans. He heads over to Houston who is on all fours. He slings the flag over Canon’s back, snapping the wooden shaft in half. He takes the top half and rips the flag completely off. He then straddles Ed from behind and wraps the flag around Ed’s throat, choking the former Craze Champion! The crowd is booing and yelling! Fans at ringside are throwing candy and trash at Canon…they won’t throw their beers, however. Canon gets hit in the head by a Jolly Rancher. He yells “Ouch, that kinda hurt!” But then he sees it was CHERRY and doesn’t mind so much. Nevertheless he continues to choke out the Rocket Man~
Smith: Ed is getting a taste of what it’s like to face an OCW veteran on a show of this magnitude. There are no friends. There is no PC. It’s all about doing whatever you can to win. I hate his actions but I understand them. Curt came out here to get into Ed’s head and it has worked.
Hood: The kid has a lot to learn…all prodigies go through a learning curve
Smith: Indeed
~Canon finishes choking Ed and leaves him lying on the ground, face down with the flag underneath him. Curt returns to his feet. He locates the bottom half of the broken, wooden shaft. It’s all splintered and prickly at the break point. He eyes it before turning around and focusing on Ed. Ed’s arms are struggling…but he is finally able to push up to his knees. He coughs and rubs his irritated throat. His right hand reaches down and grabs the American Flag. His faces turns red with anger. He gets to his feet…his adrenaline is running. Canon, meanwhile, has the pointy end of the broken wooden shaft ready to strike. Ed turns around and Canon thrusts forward to stab Houston in the face. Houston ducks!! Canon stumbles forward and gets his feet tangled in the flag. He drops the splintered shaft into the crowd. He tries to retrieve it, but can’t. He kicks his legs to get the flag off him. He turns around and receives high knee to the chin!!! Canon falls back into the guardrail. Houston grabs him by the back of the neck and he tosses Canon head first into the edge of the apron!! Canon’s forehead THUMPS into the apron and he falls to the ground, holding his head in pain. Houston grabs the American Flag. He throws it into the crowd. The flag ‘crowd surfs’ for a while as the fans refuse to let it hit the ground~
Smith: Hopefully those fans do the right thing!
Hood: You seriously want to see them burn the flag?
Smith: How is that doing the right thing?!
Hood: I don’t know…sometimes you look Aryan to me
Smith: I am appalled!
~Ed rushes up the steps. He climbs to the top rope and extends his arms, grabbing onto the cable. He yanks on it and tests it out, finding it more than sturdy to support his frame. Canon is seated up looking like a dazed cartoon character…all that’s missing are the stars circling around his head. Houston takes a moment to size the situation up. Does he have enough time to make an attempt at victory? He decides that he does! He snares the cable and pulls up, lifting his feet off the buckle. He starts to pull his body along the cable, one hand in front of the other. Canon gets to his feet and leans across the apron. He looks up and sees Houston…his eyes widen, he’s very much aware of what’s going on. He fights through whatever pain he’s suffering and crawls up the steps, onto the apron. He climbs to the top and looks at Houston. Ed turns around, facing Canon upon hearing the crowd rise. Canon leaps off toward Ed and grabs him by the waist, trying to yank him down! Ed holds on as long as he can…he eventually lets go!! The two men fall to the mat with Ed managing to turn the fall into a Double Knee stomp into Canon’s chest!!! Canon hits hard and goes flat!! Houston rolls off Canon instantly, holding both knees in pain! The crowd is going wild~
Smith: Oh my gosh! Ed may have blown out both knees!
Hood: So? Curt’s chest is probably crushed
Smith: Canon threw caution into the wind and did what he had to in an effort to stay alive in this match…it resulted in a terrible fall for BOTH men
Hood: Sure, sure…but more terrible for Curt
~Ed winds up rolling out of the ring. He gingerly slides off the apron, testing both legs. He limps around, severely. It’s unclear if he’ll be able to continue at full capacity. Canon, meanwhile, remains on his back in the center of the ring. Houston limps around and takes a seat on the middle step of the nearest ring steps. The crowd is busy doing something in the distance. Houston pauses and takes a gander at what’s going on. He suddenly sees the American Flag Canon brought to the ring hanging proudly from one of the walls! Ed stands up and gives a salute~
Smith: The patriotism flowing though Ed is palpable! The man is red white and blue through and through!
Hood: This is the cheesiest moment in OCW history
Smith: I disagree! I love it!
Hood: You are the definition of cheese therefore I am not surprised
~Houston finds the gumption to fight through his pain riddled knees! He’s a patriot for sure! Fuck NASA and their bullshit politics! Ed begins to climb the steps when he spots something. He gingerly hops off the steps and walks along the side of the ring. Canon rolls over and gets to his knees. He clutches his chest and coughs into his hand. He looks at his palm and is relieved to see clear phlegm rather than a bunch of blood. He staggers to his feet and falls into the ropes~
Smith: Something has caught Ed’s eye!
Hood: It’s probably a box of cracker jacks or a fucking hot dog…stupid American kiss ass
Smith: Mmm…cracker jacks sound delicious
Hood: Get the fuck out of here. Grab some real buttered, salty theater popcorn like a man!
~Canon stands upright and heads across the ring, towards Ed. He leans through the ropes and grabs Houston by the hair. Ed thrusts his arms up and he SMACKS Curt in the head with the astronaut helmet!!! Curt falls backwards, onto the mat! The crowd goes wild! Houston flips the helmet over his head and into the ring. It lands near Curt. Houston rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope and gets to his feet. He snares the helmet and holds it high in the air to a huge ovation. He then drops the helmet. It falls and lands right into Canon’s stomach! Canon coughs and rolls to the side, holding his abdomen in pain. Houston heads for the nearest corner and begins to climb. His knees are still sore but they seem to be getting better~
Smith: Houston looking to take flight?
Hood: Or, ya know, maybe try and get that belt
Smith: I think he may have learned his lesson from the last time. You’ve got to really incapacitate your opponent before trying to release the LW title
Hood: Curt seems fairly incapacitated to me
~Houston is perched atop the corner. He bends at the knees and finds his balance. The crowd is cheering him on. He soars through the air with Blastoff!!! He comes down…Curt grabs the helmet and throws it into the air!! It SMACKS Ed right in the face!! Houston falls backward, missing Curt and hitting the mat! He rolls around, holding his face in pain. Canon is face down on the mat, still recovering from the punishment he’s endured. The crowd boos the visceral maneuver~
Smith: Oh no!! Ed might have a broken nose! Or Jaw!
Hood: Or skull…not like it would matter, guy has already flunked out of school
Smith: It was NASA…for the last time it’s not like he flunked out of culinary school
Hood: Oh so you’re just gonna sit here and bash all the culinary school drop outs? You heartless bastard
~Canon returns to his knees and then struggles to his feet. Houston is down. Canon snares Ed by the hair and pulls him up. Ed’s face is red and irritated but there is no blood. Canon takes a few steps back and lunges forward with a V-Trigger Knee!! Houston crumbles to the mat, on his back. Curt snares the astronaut helmet and heads for the nearest corner. He climbs to the top and slides the helmet over his head. The crowd rises, unsure of what’s about to go down. Curt leaps off the top rope and SLAMS into Ed with a flying headbutt!!! Ed kicks his legs violently, holding his face! Curt rolls onto his back and performs a kip up, ripping the helmet off his head and flinging it into the crowd!! He’s starting to feel good…look confident~
Smith: Oh my! He might have fractured some bones in Ed’s face with that move!
Hood: That’s one way to avoid CTE while performing the flying headbutt. If Curt keeps doing that then he won’t be committing any double murders followed by an immediate suicide in the future.
Smith: Sheesh
Hood: I’m just sayin!
~Canon heads for the nearest corner and scales it quickly. Ed sits up. There’s a giant gash in the top corner of his left eye. Blood is running down the side of his face. It’s apparent that eye is going to swell up fairly quickly. Canon reaches the top buckle and extends his arms. The cable is JUST out of the reach. He shakes his head and mutters something about a ‘conspiracy’. He begins to bounce up and down on the ropes, gaining some vertical momentum. He leaps into the air and snares the cable with his hands! A few of the fans cheer! Most of them urge Ed to get moving~
Smith: Ed Houston has a nasty cut above his eye. That is going to be an issue
Hood: Oh, gee, ya think so, pal?
Smith: I sense a hint of sarcasm
Hood: A HINT?!
~Houston returns to his feet. He reaches up, placing the palm of his hand against the cut. It appears sensitive to the touch. He looks at his palm and sees the red stain of blood. He quietly curses the misfortune before turning his attention to Curt. Curt is hanging from the cable with a confused look on his face. He’s trying to figure out the best way to attack this thing. Ed makes his way toward the corner. Canon swings his legs up, wrapping them around the cable. Houston hops onto the middle buckle and looks up. Canon lets go with his arms, hanging upside down – perhaps to give his arms a rest. Houston sees a chance. He steps up onto the top buckle and leaps into the air. He grabs Canon by the head and rips him off the cable! They come crashing down to the mat as Ed hits a modified Jackhammer!! Curt is DRIVEN straight into the mat!! The entire ring SHAKES. The crowd is stunned, at first. “HOLY SHIT” is the chant soon thereafter! Canon is on his back, motionless. Ed sits up, holding his midsection from the fall. He also places his hand against the cut~
Smith: Oh my word! I’ve never seen anything like that before!
Hood: He just fucked Curt up!
Smith: Curt could have a broken neck. He could have a concussion. He could have just lost this match!
Hood: Sounds like Curt could have a lot of things
~Ed looks up at the cable and slowly gets to his feet. He heads for the corner and climbs. He stands atop the apex buckle and reaches up, snaring the cable. Curt remains on his back. Houston performs a pull-up, able to get his body weight onto the cable where he takes a seat, the cable situated in a safe place between his legs. Streaks of blood are running down the side of his face, from the cut. His eye is beginning to swell. He takes a breather, keeping a watch on Curt who remains down. Houston swipes some of the blood away, wiping his hand on the cable behind him. He carefully gets to his feet~
Smith: Ed is going to attempt to tight rope toward the LightWeight Title
Hood: Good luck with that. Guy is basically blind
Smith: He’s far from blind! He’s just got a partially swollen eye
Hood: Sounds like an excuse to me! A NASA man wouldn’t let a partially swollen eye prevent him from doing his job
Smith: I didn’t say it was going to prevent him from winning this match
~Houston stands and extends his arms, working on his balance. We can tell by his face that tight roping this thing may not have been the best choice. Curt remains on his back. Ed begins to take it one step at a time, inching his way closer to the LightWeight Title. The crowd is cheering him on~
Smith: Curt is still down…he may not be getting up. This one could be over
Hood: That’s the closest visual we’ll ever get to Ed walking on the moon
Smith: That’s mean and uncalled for
Hood: I guess if he ever did the moonwalk THAT might be the closest he could get to walking on the moon…what do you think?
Smith: No comment
~Houston continues to tight rope, about halfway to the belt. Canon is still down. It’s not looking good for CURT. Suddenly a loud SCREECH is heard! The fans all turn toward the entrance to see CHECKERS monkey running toward the ring. He’s dressed as his deceased, intellectual brother – CHESS. He reaches the ring and runs up the step. He runs into the ring, slapping Canon in the face. Houston pauses, looking down. He becomes shaky. The crowd is all like “whooooaaaa” thinking he might fall. Ed extends his arms, finding his balance. Curt’s eyes start to open. Checkers points upward. Curt looks to see Ed nearing the title. He sits up with an ‘OH SHIT’ look. He points at the post and motions for Checkers to climb up there. Checkers does as told~
Smith: It’s Checkers!
Hood: Here we go…perfectly normal match ruined with some monkey business
Smith: Your puns are not appreciated
Hood: Oh so puns are only acceptable when Alice Knight is flapping her goofy ass ‘wings’? I get it
~Checkers climbs up the corner and scales the pole. Curt gets to one knee and grabs his neck. He winces. Checkers climbs the pole really fast and is on the cable. Ed is a few feet from the LW Title. He turns around and sees Checkers flying across the cable in his direction. Ed realizes there’s no way he’s going to get to the title before Checkers reaches him. These damn monkeys are just too good at climbing. Checkers reaches Houston and claws and bites at his feet. Houston does his best to remain balanced. Checkers starts to climb up Houston’s leg. Houston wants to shake him off but doesn’t think he can maintain his balance on one leg. Checkers climbs up Houston’s body and covers his face with his little monkey arms. Houston reaches up, trying to pull Checkers off. Canon gets to his feet. He leans against the ropes, looking up with hope that his tiny simian pal can get the job done~
Smith: Not sure I’m a fan of this
Hood: Hey it isn’t against the rules. Curt’s got backup…where’s Ed’s?
Smith: Ed is out here to compete one on one. He’s not out here to fight a zoo!
Hood: Well then he shouldn’t have joined OCW
~Checkers finally locates a weak spot – the cut. He reaches in and grabs at the cut above Ed’s eye. Ed yells out in pain! His protective reflexes kick in. This causes him to lose his balance and fall off the cable!! He falls all the way to the ring, landing on his back! Checkers falls, as well. The tiny monkey is out, right next to Ed who also appears to be unconscious. The crowd is cheering because, well, they like stuff like this. Canon salutes his little friend and heads for the same corner Ed used to climb up~
Smith: I know I’m no fan of Checkers’ interference…but I certainly don’t wish death on him
Hood: Oh I’m sure he’ll be fine
Smith: And how would you know?
Hood: I don’t. I just didn’t want to see a grown man cry over a monkey
~Curt reaches the top buckle and sighs with frustration once again at the fact that the cable is out of reach. He bounces a few times and leaps up, snaring the cable with both hands. Houston and Checkers are still down. Curt pulls himself up and gets to his feet, much like Ed did earlier. He seems to have better balance than Ed. Is this due to his height or his relationship with Checkers…or both? Canon’s confidence grows with each step he takes. Houston starts to move but he’s got too much ground to make up. It would take a MIRACLE to keep Curt from winning~
Smith: Curt’s got this. He’s apparently evolved into some kind of human, monkey hybrid
Hood: Wouldn’t that be the exact opposite of evolution?
Smith: Hmm, you may be right
~Curt’s confidence is flourishing. He walks briskly. One might say he’s even elevated his pace to ‘light jog’. He’s going to win until he SLIPS! Curt’s footing slips and he falls, CROTCHING himself on the cable! The fans in attendance (Male) go “OOOHHHH” The females in attendance go “aww, poor guy”. Canon looks down and sees the blood that Ed wiped away moments ago. He curses his lug while continuing to nurse what could be a serious reproductive ailment~
Smith: Talk about bad luck
Hood: Curt’s entire career has been nothing but bad luck!
Smith: What are you talking about? I think he’s been rather fortunate
Hood: Okay, so maybe he has. I’m simply making conversation over here!
~Houston returns to his feet. He reaches down and snares Checkers. He holds Checkers in his hands, angry at first. But when he sees the peaceful monkey he starts to feel sadness. He’s worried the little guy is hurt. Houston caresses the head of Checkers. The fans go “awwww”. Houston says something like “Poor little guy.” Checker opens his eyes and lunges into Houston’s face! The crowd leans back with a “HOLY SHIT” expression. Houston struggles and fights before ripping Checkers away and flinging him out of the ring! Checkers SLAMS into the guardrail! His body flings to the side, rotating several times before landing in the aisle way. He’s not moving. The fans BOOO Ed. Houston shrugs like “What are you gonna do?” He then heads for the corner nearest Curt~
Smith: And that should do it for Checkers this evening
Hood: Poor guy
Smith: Had he not attempted to maul Ed’s face he’d probably be in better shape right now
Hood: Maybe he was trying to give Ed kisses and that silly NASA reject misinterpreted the message?
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
~Houston gets to the top buckle and he leaps up, grabbing onto the cable. He ‘walks’ along the cable with his hands displaying tremendous arm strength. He reaches Canon’s legs and grabs onto them, hanging from his feet. Canon yells out in pain due to the added pressure pulling him down onto the cable in the most awkward of positions~
Smith: Adding insult to injury…or, well, further injury to current injury!
Hood: I hope Checkers is alive
Smith: Aww, so you do care about the little guy
Hood: Not really, I just don’t see how Canon’s able to have a kid after all of this. Checkers is going to be about all he’s got
~Canon manages to free one of his legs. He starts kicking at Ed’s face. Houston dodges and weaves the kicks knowing that one solid kick could send him crashing. Canon lands a glancing blow near the cut on Ed’s face. Houston realizes the danger he’s in and swings his legs up, snaring the cable. He’s hanging upside down, releasing his hold from Curt’s legs. He’s facing Curt. The momentum from Ed swinging and releasing Curt’s legs sends Curt swaying to his side. Canon is also now hanging upside down. Both men are facing each other, hanging upside down. They start to trade punches, each man trying to knock the other man to the ring~
Smith: Well this is a unique take on brawling
Hood: You’ve got to give Ed the advantage considering he’s experienced zero gravity
Smith: Solid observation
Hood: Then again he did flunk out of NASA so the advantage might go to Curt
~Curt starts to win the brawl. He reaches out with both hands and grabs Ed around the throat. He is choking the life out of The Rocket Man!! Houston tries to pry Curt’s hands away, but can’t…Curt’s got some strong hands. Perhaps yet another advantage stemming from living with a primate. Houston’s hands start to go limp…they hang toward the ground. Canon grows confident. He starts to talk trash. “Nice try, kid!” “Your father would be so proud!” “Mr. Houston! This win is for you!” Curt exclaims while choking Ed out~
Smith: Now this is unnecessary
Hood: Hey to the victor go the spoils. Curt can do what he likes
Smith: Show a little respect!
~Ed’s eyes open. Curt must have triggered a nerve. Ed rips Curt’s hands away. He grabs Curt by the head and delivers a head butt. Then another and another. We see blood splat from Ed’s cut coming into contact with Curt’s head. Blood stains the face of Canon. Houston delivers one more devastating head butt that resonates with a sickening THUD! Curt’s arms go limp and his legs unravel! He falls to the mat…his body manages to turn over allowing him to land on his back. He SLAMS into the mat!! The ring shakes from impact. The fans are stunned by the fall. Houston, his face covered in blood. His eye swollen shut, uses all the muscles in his body to sit up and wrap his hands around the cable. He pulls up and rotates over. Slowly he starts to crawl toward the belt~
Smith: What a terrible fall! I hope Curt is okay!
Hood: Man Ed got triggered when Curt said that shit about his dad
Smith: Ed wasn’t close to his dad but he apparently has a lot of love and emotion in him when it comes to his recently deceased father
~Ed reaches the title and he unhooks it! The crowd goes wild! Ed hangs from the cable and lets go, falling to the mat with a moderate impact. He’s clutching the title as tight as he can. The bell rings! The crowd chants “ED! ED!”~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….AND THE FINAL OCW LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION….ED HOUSTON!!!!!
~Scruff checks on Ed while The Knife Man rushes down waving his goofy ass giant knife around. He slides into the ring to look after Curt leaving the body of Checkers in the aisle~
Hood: The Knife Man giving ZERO fucks about Checkers
Smith: He’s a human doctor, Hood. A doctor for humans
~Ed sits up. Scruff tries to get The Knife Man to look at Ed’s eye but Ed waves them off. He rolls out of the ring and gets to his feet. He gingerly heads to the back clutching the LW title in his arms while the fans chant his name. He steps over Checkers and heads to the back. The Knife Man continues looking at Curt who is still on his back~
Smith: What a brutal affair…both men are in need of medical attention…they gave it their all to be the final representative of one of the most prestigious divisions in OCW history
Hood: Fucking Curt, man. I thought he had this one
Smith: He’s getting closer and closer. It’s tough but you get the feeling Curt’s about to break lose and win the big one
Hood: I know it sounds weird saying this but I think he’s better than ever. The competition is just ridiculous
Smith: Indeed. But congratulations to Ed Houston. He suffered a tough loss to Mike Harrison at Mayhem on the Midway and bounced back tonight with what must be considered the biggest win of his OCW career.
Hood: For sure
~We’re outside the Mortuary. The buzzer goes off and the clock reads 5! We see a group of dejected Curt Canon fans vacate the Mortuary. They are looking to get drunk, most likely. Five people rush up, ready to get in. They appear smelly and angry~
Who’Re: It appears some room has opened up within the Mortuary. That’s good news for five people on the waiting list. Five people who look…well, unlike anyone else here.
~We hear a loud thud. Who’Re turns around to find AKB standing over the girl he’s been making out with. She’s passed out due to too much alcohol. AKB drops to one knee and looks her over. He’s contemplating continuing the make out session~
Who’Re: Don’t EVEN think about it, Alpha!
~AKB sighs and gets back to his feet. He finds his mic and stands next to Who’Re, rubbing his crotch~
AKB: Yea, we are on camera after all. That wouldn’t be a good look. What the fuck are those people over there doing?
Who’Re: They are next in line to get into The Mortuary. Quit playing with your balls!
AKB: I’m sorry but I’ve got to get laid otherwise they might explode. Can you find me this girl right here?
~AKB shows Who’Re another photo from the promo that aired at the start of the evening. Who’Re grunts with frustration~
Who’Re: Go and find her yourself!
AKB: Nah, that’s too much trouble. I guess I’ll make do with what I’ve got…
Who’Re: No you will not, sir! I’ll go and find her. Just stand here and talk about the show while I’m gone. Surely you can manage that.
~AKB smiles. His plan worked. Who’Re heads off to locate another woman for AKB to chill with. He continues playing with his crotch while eyeing the next group in line for The Mortuary. They start shouting at the security guards~
AKB: Uh oh. It looks like they aren’t getting in. I know they are smelly but this is a wrestling event…everyone here is smelly!
~AKB spots a fan dressed as CARROT TOP. He stops him to ask what’s going on~
AKB: Yo, man! What’s the deal with those fans over there?
Carrot Top Guy: Them? Man they are with PETA. They are FURIOUS over what just happened to Checkers.
AKB: Oh…so they aren’t being allowed in?
Carrot Top Guy: Nope, their VIP passes have been denied. I think five slutty girls were bumped to the front of the line in their place.
AKB: Haha, CLASSIC OCW BABY. Wait a second! One of them didn’t look like THIS, did she?
~AKB shows Carrot Top Guy the photo of the girl Who’Re is looking for~
Carrot Top Guy: Nope. She’s hot. Do you know her?
AKB: I will in a minute.
Carrot Top Guy: Oh cool! Hey, you mind if I get up there with you and help out with some of the commentary? I could use the…
AKB: Get fucking lost, man. Like I’d let some weirdo dressed as Carrot Top wield a microphone. Out of my face, man!
Carrot Top Guy: What do you mean dressed like Carrot Top? I AM CARROT TOP!
~AKB just ignores the guy (turns out he really IS Carrot Top) and casually kicks the unconscious girl off their platform to the ground when he sees Who’Re returning with the new girl. We cut back to inside The Mortuary~
Smith: Perhaps we should give AKB the rest of the night off
Hood: No way, man. He’s my favorite part of the show!
Smith: I’m not sure how well his shtick holds up in 2018
Hood: Hey if people get offended by that shit then they should find a safe space inside a functioning gas chamber
Smith: Oh dear. Well, moving along! Up next we’ve got the OCW Paradigm Championship on the line. Every title thus far tonight has changed hands…can Andrea Hernandez break the streak or will Mack O’Connor reclaim the title he never lost?
Hood: Mack all the way! Nothing against Andrea…I just don’t think she’s ready to defeat one of OCW’s best
Smith: Even with fists being banned?
Hood: Ugh…always have to make it tough on Treat’s guys. Yes, even with fists banned. Mack is just that good
Smith: I guess we’ll find out. That match is next!
OCW Paradigm Championship
Closed Fists Are Banned
Andrea Hernandez © (5-1) vs. Mack O’Connor (20-6)
~We cut back to inside the Mortuary. Fans continue to drink and enjoy the party atmosphere. Spoooooky music is playing throughout the venue. Various men in Iggy Hardy and Bruce Rage costumes try feeding some of the sluttier women extra strong drinks. Belvedere clears his throat which earns the attention of everyone aside from the hormone driven men looking to get laid~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the OCW Paradigm Championship!!!
~The crowd goes wild! Dueling “ANDREA” and “O’CONNOR” chants fill The Mortuary~
Belvedere: Closed fists are BANNED during this contest. If either individual is caught by the referee landing a closed fist blow they will be instantly disqualified, no exceptions. The title can only change hands via pinfall, submission, or knock out. Introducing first…
~"Vagabond" by the Greenskeepers hits! Half the crowd goes wild. The other half boos the shit out of Mack’s entrance theme. The two trash bags are thrust aside as Mr. No Nonsense Mack O’Connor steps forward. He’s got the OLD Paradigm Championship around his waist. Fans try and high five him but he brushes right through their flailing arms, focused on the ring. He marches up the steps and slides through the ropes. His fists are taped~
Belvedere: From Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 220lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is Mack O’Connor!!!
~Mack holds the OLD Paradigm Title high in the air. This elicits more boos than cheers. But, like always, Mack couldn’t care less. In his mind HE’S the rightful champ and he will prove it tonight~
Smith: A very confident Mack O’Connor
Hood: When ISN’T Mack confident?
Smith: Good point…the man has never lacked self-belief
~Mack lowers his arms. He then flings the Old Paradigm Title into the crowd! The crowd is shocked…aside from the area where the title landed. An all our brawl takes place with fans trying to obtain the piece of OCW memorabilia~
Smith: What is he doing?!
Hood: Out with the old in with the new, Smith! He’s not going to be regarded as some relic like that old title. He wants to compete with the new era of OCW. He wants to dethrone Andrea Hernandez
Smith: That or he once again is showing blatant disrespect for OCW history
Hood: Or…there’s option #3
Smith: Which is?
Hood: He’s drunk
Smith: A viable option to be sure
~As if on cue “Ultranumb” by Blue Stahli hits and the fans go wild!! Andrea Hernandez emerges from behind the black trash bag curtain with the brand new Paradigm Title around her waist. It shines and shimmers even in the dimly lit setting. She pauses for a moment, taking in the atmosphere. A smile comes across her face~
Smith: There she is! The Paradigm Champion
Hood: She’d better enjoy that smile because Mack is going to punch…err smack it right off her face!
Smith: She’s had a great run in OCW so far. This is by far her biggest match. If she were to win here tonight then I’d say a potential OCW Title chase could be in her near future
Hood: Whoa, whoa, whoa…pump the brakes for fuck’s sake, man!
~Hernandez cuts her moment of soaking in the atmosphere short and heads for the ring. She picks up speed near the ring and slides in under the bottom rope before popping to her feet. Mack leans into his corner and eyes her with a frown on his face~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Sedona, Arizona…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is the current reigning and defending OCW Paradigm Champion…she is…Andrea Hernandez!!!
~Andrea seamlessly removes her belt and hoists it into the air with one hand to a HUGE ovation from the fans! Mack rolls his eyes and turns his back to Andrea, leaning over the top rope as though he’s about to puke. Hernandez doesn’t notice, she’s too busy taking in yet another moment. She brings the title back down and carefully folds it up, handing it over to Belvedere. He exits with the title, taking his seat in a very safe location away from all the crazies. Andrea backs into her corner and finally focuses on O’Connor. The bell sounds~
Smith: And here we go! This is the biggest match of Andrea’s career, Hood. Mack is an OCW legend. If she were able to defeat him tonight then she might finally start to get the respect she deserves.
Hood: Who the fuck is she, Aretha Franklin? She gonna sing night and day about respect? Go out there and earn it!
Smith: And that’s precisely what she’s doing!
~Mack keeps his back to Andrea. He’s showing a complete lack of respect toward the champion. Andrea looks out at the crowd with her arms extended as if to ask “Can you believe this?” The crowd continues to boo. We get a different shot of Mack. He appears to be negotiating with a fan at ringside for a beer. The fan seems to be a somewhat savvy negotiator which is pissing Mack off. He starts to step through the ropes. This infuriates Andrea~
Smith: Mack is treating Andrea like she’s an unworthy challenger when, in fact, she’s the champion!
Hood: Mack being Mack, I love it
Smith: He could show just a LITTLE respect
Hood: And why is that? Because she’s wearing a title he never lost?
~Andrea rushes forward and grabs Mack by the arm, yanking him back in the ring. She shoves him into his corner. She’s got his full attention. She throws some kicks into his legs. Mack responds by grabbing Andrea by the head, flipping their positions and throwing her into the corner. He rears back. The fans yell ‘NO!!’ Mack catches himself. He looks at his clinched fist. Andrea springs forward with a knee into Mack’s gut!! Mack staggers back. She kicks him in the gut! He doubles over. She leaps up, grabs Mack by the head and drops him with a DDT~
Smith: I think this closed fists banned stipulation is going to bother Mack
Hood: Ya think? It’s like if you banned a guy’s legs before a marathon
Smith: It’s not THAT drastic
Hood: Do you not pay attention when Mack fights or something?
~Mack rolls onto the apron holding the top of his head. He sits up and curses. He’s clearly frustrated and in pain. Andrea is back on her feet. She sprints and hits the ropes. She rushes toward Mack and leaps into the air with a dropkick! She kicks Mack right in the back!! Mack flies off the apron and lands chest first into the steel guardrail!! The fans scatter to avoid absorbing any of the impact and spilling their beverages. Andrea pops back to her feet inside the ring to a huge ovation~
Smith: Andrea Hernandez is on fire! She’s got Mack reeling
Hood: This shit is so fucking far from fair
Smith: If Mack can’t compete without the ability to throw a punch then perhaps he should go to a training school like the legendary Squires Academy
Hood: LOL
~Mack staggers off the guardrail and toward the apron. Andrea ceases her celebrating and keeps a close watch on Mack. He steps up onto the apron. Andrea rushes for the corner. She leaps up onto the middle buckle and springboards off, turning around in mid air and grabbing Mack by the head. She drops him face first onto the apron with a Facebuster!!! Mack’s face SLAMS into the apron!! The crowd goes wild!! Mack is face down on the apron with his left arm hanging limply off the side. Andrea slides back into the ring fired up!~
Smith: What a move! She’s making Mack pay for his earlier derision
Hood: That damn broad is relentless.
Smith: Well that’s what it takes to succeed in OCW. You can’t quit in the face of adversity, Hood
Hood: And now Mack probably has a broken nose. Broken noses suck
~Hernandez grabs Mack by the right arm and drags him into the center of the ring. It’s quite the chore given the fact he’s 220 pounds of dead weight. Once finished she heads toward the nearest ropes. She steps through, onto the apron. She leaps into the air, springboards off and lands on top of Mack with a Springboard Shooting Star Press!! The crowd goes wild!! She struggles but manages to finally roll Mack onto his back. She makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!
Smith: Mack kicked out! Or, well, shouldered out! But, still, he averted defeat!
Hood: Whew…that was close. C’mon, Mack get your shit together! Time to sober up, pal
Smith: I’m not sure he can. Andrea’s got so much momentum right now
~Frustrated, Andrea tries to remain focused. She grabs onto Mack’s arm looking for the Fujiwara Armbar. It’s the move she used to win the Paradigm Championship at Mayhem on the Midway!!! She tries to lock it in. From behind we see Mack’s giant, wrapped hand reach up. It grabs Andrea by the back of the head, a handful of hair and he shoves her face first into the mat!!! Andrea lets go of Mack’s arm and rolls over, slowly, holding her face in pain. Mack remains on his back, wincing in pain from all the punishment he’s endured. The fans booooo~
Smith: Ouch
Hood: Haha there we go! Time to waste this fly by night!
Smith: An ephemeral title reign would give Andrea’s detractors a ton of ammunition to use against her
Hood: She’d better locate a bullet proof vest for all those verbal shots
~Andrea gets to one knee, shaking her head, trying to wiggle the pain and blurred vision away. Mack remains on his back somewhat suspiciously. Andrea gets to her feet and does what’s in her nature. She looks to regain full control of the match. She pauses. She hesitates. She realizes Mack’s been down far too long. Perhaps if the individual in question was a quitter like Lukas Emery or Slutty McJizz. But not Mack O’Connor. So, Andrea throws a kick into Mack’s ribs. He doesn’t respond. Is he truly unconscious?~
Smith: Hmm…I think Mack might be pretending
Hood: Playing raccoon?
Smith: It’s possum!
Hood: Well sorry if I didn’t grow up in the woods getting raped by random members of the Grenier family!
~Andrea decides to attempt a pinfall. She gets to her knees and Mack instantly sits up! He snares her in a front face lock while getting to his feet. He ragdolls her around a bit in the center of the ring, deciding his next course of action. He throws a few short knees into her stomach to weaken her resolve. Finally, he straightens Andrea up and places both hands into her shoulders and gives The Paradigm Champion a violent shove backwards! Andrea’s body flies through the air and SLAMS into the nearest corner. Mack approaches with a clinched fist and a tightened jaw. The crowd yells “DON’T DO IT!” Scruff even warns Mack of the consequences. Mack shakes his head. His cheeks are flushed with frustration. He yells out “FUCK YOU WELSH!” He then adjusts his positioning, opens his hand and delivers a Knife Edged Chop~
Smith: Mack is adjusting!
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: Poor Andrea fell into Mack’s trap. She’s still relatively young
Hood: Especially when you compare her to old man O’Connor. Guy has been brawling since 1965.
~Mack is disgusted after executing the chop. He clinches his fist and again is warned by Scruff. He opens his fist and delivers an opened handed slap to Andrea’ s chest!! Andrea bends over, wincing in pain. Mack looks at his hand and, again, is disgusted. He straightens Andrea up and once again closes his fist. For a third time Scruff warns him, going so far as to point toward the bell in case Mack follows through with his threat. Mack argues with Scruff, not appreciating the threat. During the dispute Andrea catches a window of opportunity! She throws a few short kicks into Mack’s knee and shin!! Mack staggers back feeling the sting of the well placed strikes. Andrea lunges forward with several knife edged chops sending the former OCW Champion reeling against the ropes. Andrea chops him again and again. Mack leans forward, shoving Andrea away, reaching for his chest which is red and irritated. Andrea throws a swift kick to the back of Mack’s knee, bringing him down to a kneeling position. Andrea hits the ropes, bounces off, leaps into the air wrapping her knees around Mack’s head and slamming him head first into the mat with a hurricanrana! The crowd goes wild! Andrea performs a kip up, once again full of fire~
Smith: Mack has got to get over this stipulation! If he doesn’t he will lose this match for sure
Hood: It’s probably like getting over an ex-girlfriend…someone named Makenna, perhaps
Smith: Oh?
Hood: He needs to find a strike he likes just as much if not more than the punch
~Andrea looks for the Fujiwara Armbar a second time. She’s more careful than before…having your face smothered and smashed will do that to a person. Or, at least it should…unless that person is a total dumbass. She starts to lock in the armbar. Mack feels the tension building in his joint. It’s far from comfortable…in fact it’s downright Uncomfortable. He grimaces and begins to crawl out from under the daze Andrea’s hurricanrana placed him in. O’Connor starts to power up with Andrea clinging to his arm. He gets to one knee! Andrea tries to get him back down. She’s got his arm locked while throwing a few forearms into the side of his head. Mack is showing no effects from the blows! He gets to his feet and hoists Andrea high in the air! Andrea looks around, nervously. Mack then drives her into the mat, flat on her back!!! She releases the armbar and flattens out on the mat. The wind has been knocked right out of her lungs. Mack drops to his knees. He bends over, placing his hands on the mat, breathing heavily~
Smith: Powerful move by Mack O’Connor who enjoys the obvious size and strength advantage in this match
Hood: For all you kids out there watching…and I know there’s a lot of you because parents today suck. For all you kids watching, look at that bald headed man wheezing in the middle of the ring. That’s what happens when you spend a life time…
Smith: Smoking and drinking!
Hood: I was going to say that’s what happens when you spend a lifetime forced to wrestle people like Andrea Hernandez but your explanation works too
~Mack fights back to his feet. He coughs violently before pounding on his chest and regaining his normal breathing pattern. He snares Andrea by the hair. She tries to fight away but he leans in with a headbutt. This weakens Andrea in the knees. Mack positions her between his legs…he hooks her around the waist, lifts her up, locks his hands between her legs and drops her with a Gotch Piledriver!!! Andrea’s head and neck are compressed. Her body goes stiff as she falls to the side, coming to rest on her back. Mack crawls over her for a nonchalant cover~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Andrea showing some heart! Those Gotch Piledrivers are so brutal to the neck
Hood: Surprised Mack knows that move
Smith: I bet we’ll see an array of unfamiliar maneuvers from Mack now that his signature PUNCH has been banned
~Mack raises his fist, leaning over Andrea. This time he’s able to catch himself. Again he curses. It’s just such a force of habit. He grabs Andrea by the head and pulls her up. He gets to his feet and whips her into the ropes. She bounces off and he ducks, lifting her high in the air with a Backbody Drop! Hernandez soars through the air, flipping over and slamming back first into the mat! The entire ring shakes from impact. Mack coughs a few times. He heads out of the ring~
Smith: Where is he going?
Hood: Maybe he’s having second thoughts about tossing that old belt away. I’m sure he got ripped off when he bought it back from the pawn shop
Smith: Like selling your books back to the store you bought them from at the end of a semester?
Hood: Those fuckin capitalist bastards…and people wonder why college students are so fucking liberal
~Mack spots a fan dressed as THE MARVEL. He rips the man’s nearly full beverage away and shoves the guy back. The fan backs down and runs away, probably crying. Mack leans against the guardrail taking a few giant gulps of the beer. He frowns. “Tastes like piss water” he says. No doubt the kegs are full of light beer. But it beats actual water so Mack continues drinking, keeping an eye on Andrea who rolls onto her side, reaching for her afflicted back~
Smith: What on Earth is he doing!
Hood: Guy just wants a drink. I mean you know how hard it is for alcoholics to remain sober in a room…or in this case, a venue full of drunks
Smith: He’s MID competition!
Hood: Doesn’t look like it to me. Looks like Andrea is taking a nap which is the perfect time for the man to sneak away and throw some liquor into his belly
~Mack finishes the beer and tosses the cup into the crowd. He spots a person dressed as CJ O’DONNELL. He smiles and waves the guy over. The stupid fan rushes over all excited. Mack takes his beer away and slaps him in the face!! The crowd laughs. The fan dressed as CJ runs away like the fan earlier. Mack takes a sip of the beer and nearly spits it out. He’s growing tired of this WEAK ASS BEER. He heads back into the ring upon seeing Andrea on all fours. He steps in through the ropes and finally towers over Andrea. He takes the beer, turns it over and pours the beer all over the back of Andrea’s head. The crowd BOOOOS~
Smith: Talk about disrespect…what a jerk!
Hood: I think he’s trying to wake her up. Guy is seeking some competition
Smith: He’d better get refocused otherwise he is going to lose this match
Hood: Hey, how about Mack slapping that fan, eh? Notice how he didn’t PUNCH the fan?
Smith: I’m sorry but I’m not going to brag on one of our wrestlers after they assault a fan
~Mack throws the empty cup at Andrea and then kicks her in the side of the head! She flips onto her back. The crowd continues booing the Hall of Famer. Mack stomps Andrea’s midsection. Andrea sits up, holding her abdomen in pain. Mack snares her by the hair, yanking her to her feet. He rolls his eyes and delivers a chop to her chest! Andrea stumbles into a corner. Mack looks at his hand in disgust. He hates chops. But, he delivers another chop. And another. Andrea’s hair keeps flying back, along with her head after each chop. Mack ceases with the chops, thoroughly disgusted that he’s used them. He crushes Andrea into the corner with a clothesline and retains control of her, dragging her into the center of the ring. The fans suddenly rise realizing he’s got her in prime position for CLAYMORE! Andrea, though, realizes this as well…her training kicks in and she’s able to latch onto Mack’s arm and take him down locking in the Fujiwara Armbar!!! The crowd is going wild! She’s got it synched in deep! She’s yanking back! Mack is face down on the mat…he kicks his legs and reaches out with his free arm, hoping to find the ropes…but they are too far away. The crowd is chanting ‘TAP! TAP! TAP!’~
Smith: She’s got the Fujiwara Armbar locked in! This is how she defeated Axel Veiga to win the Paradigm Championship!
Hood: This is probably the first time Mack has heard the word ‘tap’ chanted and hated it!
Smith: Get serious! Andrea is about to make a Hall of Famer tap out!
Hood: Yes, yes, I can see that…just hoping I was hallucinating
~Andrea gets increasingly aggressive with the armbar. She’s trying to dislocate Mack’s shoulder…maybe even BREAK his arm. She’s doing whatever she can to make the man tap! She leans back farther and farther! The fans continue chanting for the TAP. Scruff is on one knee, asking Mack if he wants to give it up. Mack looks at Scruff like he’s going to kill the man once he gets loose. Andrea leans back with the arm as far as she can…so much so that she loses her leverage! Mack gains leverage and manages to roll over, placing Andrea on her shoulders! He rolls over onto her legs with a pin! Scruff hesitates for a second, stunned…but then he makes the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: Whoa!! Andrea pulled back too far and Mack was able to roll through and almost get the win!
Hood: Women…
Smith: What’s THAT supposed to mean
Hood: Pssh…women
~Mack returns to his feet and clutches his right shoulder. He backs into a corner like a wounded animal. Andrea gets to one knee staring at Mack, frustrated. She slaps the mat, angry with herself for giving Mack the leverage to reverse an arm bar he had no way out of. She returns to her feet and heads straight for O’Connor. With his injured right shoulder Mack appears to be a wounded, fairly innocuous animal. Andrea heads toward him with less care than earlier. She is within striking distance. Mack throws a swift kick into her ribs!! Andrea staggers back looking up at Mack with surprise. Mack spins around with a roundhouse kick that lands right on Andrea’s jaw!! She spins around and falls, face down onto the mat. The surprised crowd gives a slight applause, impressed by his sudden spry, athleticism. Mack limps around uttering things like “Fuckin shit. Fucking knees.” He makes his way over to Andrea~
Smith: Tremendous kicks by the former Paradigm Champion!
Hood: What was THAT?!
Smith: Mack dabbled in kick boxing years ago, Hood
Hood: Really? Is that how he lost his hair?
Smith: I have no idea
~Mack reaches down and grabs Andrea by her thick hair. He yanks Andrea to her feet and turns her around. We see Andrea bleeding from the corner of her mouth. That second kick definitely found its mark. Mack hesitates for a moment, seeing the blood. Andrea lunges forward with a head butt into his chest. She responds with forearm strikes that land on his jaw line! Mack stumbles into the ropes. Andrea whips him off the ropes…Mack reverses…Andrea sprints across the ring, she hits the ropes and bounces off…Mack catches her…he spins her around with a tilt-o-whirl but loses control…Andrea spins around before grabbing Mack with her legs and taking him down with headscissors!! Mack returns to his feet, facing the corner, bewildered. Andrea returns to her feet, wiping the blood away from the corner of her mouth. The fans are on their feet, cheering her on~
Smith: Mack hesitated for a just a moment when he saw the blood
Hood: I understand it can be upsetting at times to see a woman bleeding but, I mean, come on…it’s Andrea Hernandez…she deserves it!
Smith: I think that’s a bit harsh
Hood: And I find your views on violence toward female wrestlers offensive!
~Mack turns around, regaining his awareness. Andrea charges at him and leaps into the air, grabbing the back of his head for a sitout facebuster. Mack, though, holds her up and positions her for a powerbomb! Andrea, though, wraps her legs around Mack’s head and drops him with a Hurricanrana!! She holds on for the pin! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: She almost had him!
Hood: Damnit this woman is quick
Smith: Yep and she’s got her offensive momentum rolling
Hood: I would say Mack needs to deck her but, well, we know the fascists who run this company have banned that shit
~Mack returns to his feet. Andrea is already standing. She drills Mack in the side of the head with an enziguri! Mack stumbles into the ropes. Andrea whips him off the ropes. Mack sprints across the ring. Andrea steps through the ropes…she jumps up and springboards off the top rope toward a running Mack. She catches him, spins around and drops him right on top of his head with a Tornado DDT!!! Mack is down on his back! He might be out! The fans are going wild!! Andrea heads toward the ropes signaling that this is it~
Smith: Andrea Hernandez is looking to hit Sky High! If she does this one is OVER
Hood: Get up, Mack! Wake the fuck up!
Smith: The aging OCW legend might be out of gas
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Andrea is standing on the apron. She doesn’t waste any time. She leaps up and springboards off the top rope. She performers her patented somersault senton landing right on top of Mack! The crowd goes wild!!! Andrea hooks the leg! Scruff slides in with the count! The crowd counts along!~
1!
2!
3…NO!
Smith: He kicked out! I don’t believe it! He kicked out of Sky High!
Hood: I knew he would! I knew it! I knew it!
Smith: You were shaking in your boots!
Hood: Liar. I’m not wearing boots
~Andrea can’t believe it. He pleads with Scruff. She just KNEW she had secured the biggest win of her career. Scruff, displaying visible empathy, informs her it was two, not three. Andrea, on her feet, slumps her shoulders. Mack sits up behind her. The crowd yells at her to turn around~
Smith: Turn around! Behind you!
Hood: And this is why you never bet against a legend
~Andrea turns around. Mack is already on his feet. He grabs her by the head and hits her with Hollow Point!!! Andrea is stunned! She stumbles into the ropes. She ricochets off into Mack’s arms. He hooks her, lifts her up and plants her into the center of the ring with CLAYMORE!!! The crowd can’t believe it! Mack hooks both legs! Scruff slides in with the count as the dejected crowd watches on~
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Hood: WHAT?!
Smith: Andrea kicked out! My goodness the fight in that woman!
Hood: I demand a recount! RECOUNT
Smith: Nope…it was close, but it wasn’t three
~Mack struggles to his feet due to his aging knees. He goes right after Scruff. He’s far less amenable than Andrea. He bullies Scruff into a corner holding up three fingers with wide, wild eyes. Scruff holds up two in defense. Scruff is visibly concerned. Andrea rolls onto all fours. Mack grabs Scruff by the collar of his ref shirt with a closed, left fist. Scruff warns him~
Smith: You’ll get disqualified, Mack
Hood: At this point I don’t think he cares
~Andrea gets to her feet. She rushes in and knees Mack in the kidney. She spins him around, violently. Scruff catches a wild, accidental elbow! He falls to his knees, holding his face. Andrea lifts a knee into Mack’s chin! Mack staggers forward. Andrea runs into the ropes…she jumps onto the middle rope, springboards off, twists in the air and comes flying at Mack. Mack responds with a left fist right into her face!!! Andrea hits the mat! The crowd BOOOS. Mack looks at his fist. It appears to have been instinct rather than motive. He looks around at the crowd, then at Scruff. Scruff is still holding his face. Mack then looks at Andrea~
Smith: A closed fist! A closed fist! He cheated!
Hood: Yea, but Scruff didn’t see
Smith: Do the right thing, Mack! Turn yourself in!
Hood: Pssh, whatever
~Mack wrestles internally for a second. Scruff looks up. Scruff tilts his head and furrows his brow. Mack’s on the verge of giving himself away. He turns toward Andrea and snares her by the hair. He hooks her, lifts her up and drills her with a second Claymore!!! The crowd BOOOS. They are PISSED! Scruff stands. Mack makes the cover and motions for Scruff to come over and count. Scruff, knowing something is up but unable to make out what, does his job. He slides in and counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd continues to boo. They throw trash into the ring. Scruff, still wondering what happened to change the course of the match so drastically while also infuriating this crowd, gets to his feet and raises Mack’s hand~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND NEW OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: I have never been more disgusted with that man
Hood: Hey if the ref didn’t see it then it doesn’t count
Smith: That is BS and you know it!
Hood: Who’s wearing the belt, huh? Tell me I’m wrong
~Mack receives the Paradigm belt. It’s secured around his waist. He looks down at Andrea. He isn’t looking with disdain or contempt. It’s mostly a look of admiration. This was survival more than anything. He gets his belt and heads out of the ring, as though if he lingers the truth may be discovered. He grabs a beer from a fan at ringside and chugs it while heading backstage. The crowd chants “FUCK YOU” at Mack as he disappears through the trash bag curtain. Andrea finally sits up. She appears to be possibly concussed. Scruff kneels next to her. Andrea pleads her case. She shows the giant welt on her chin. She performs the ‘punching’ motion. Scruff motions that he didn’t see anything~
Smith: Poor Andrea…the biggest win of her career STOLEN due to a corrupt champion and an inept referee
Hood: Too bad, so sad. Go out, get drunk and get laid, Andrea. You’ll still feel like trash in the morning but, hey, at least it’ll be a different kind of trash
Smith: That is horrible advice
~A visibly upset Andrea shoves Scruff away. The shove was not intended to hurt. It was mainly a ‘get away’ shove. She slides out of the ring and off the apron. The fans empathize a great deal with her. As she walks down the aisle with her head down, looking dejected they reach out and pat her on the back. An “ANDREA” chant breaks out in support of the robbed champion. It doesn’t seem to make much of a dent. She appears devastated. She exits through the curtain leaving a sad crowd behind~
Smith: These fans were fully behind her and ready to watch her defeat a legend. The story was set. The ending was right there only for MACK O’CONNOR to rip it away. I have a love, hate relationship with that man and tonight I loathe his very being.
Hood: I’m sure he really cares that you’re upset. He’s probably ordering you a bouquet of daffodils to be sent to your room as a way of attempting to ease your pain. That or he’s about to get shit hammered and fuck another trashy hot bartender.
Smith: I hope Welsh or Zybala saw what happened tonight and do what’s right. Andrea deserves a rematch.
Hood: She’s talented and the crowd loves her for some reason so I’m sure she’ll get a shit load of other opportunities. Calm down, man. We’ve still got a long way to go tonight.
Smith: Andrea, if you’re listening, I’m sorry you got screwed. Keep your head up and continue fighting. Before long it will all pay off.
Hood: *yawns*
~We cut to a medical tent where rarely seen OCW reporter JONES is standing by~
Jones: Hey guys, hope everything is going great on the inside. As you can see I’m stuck here on the outside. Fortunately I’ve found a story! I’m right outside the tent here where Alice Knight is being looked at. I’m told that…wait…there he is!
~The Knife Man emerges. Some guy yells out walking by “HEY NICE COSTUME” The Knife Man just tilts his head at the passerby before looking down at Jones. His giant knife hangs innocuously from his left hand~
The Knife Man: Jones it is a pleasure to see you this evening. It’s slightly chilly out here. You should really be inside.
Jones: They didn’t have enough room for me in there. So I’m out here. But, hey, it’s not too bad.
The Knife Man: How can I help you, fine sir?
Jones: An update on Alice Knight would be nice. Is she going to be okay?
The Knife Man: Well she’s suffering from a pretty nasty concussion. It’s the third one she’s suffered over the past two years. We’re going to have to reevaluate some things, I’m afraid. Three concussions in two years is a lot for a human brain to handle.
Jones: Oh no that’s terrible news. Hey…Mario!
~Mario Maurako suddenly emerges from the tent. He spots Jones and immediately turns to leave~
The Knife Man: There goes the man who might have saved her career. I tell ya, that’s a fine individual.
Jones: He just kind of blew me off there. Did he mention why he’s back?
The Knife Man: Not really. Only thing I remember him saying is something about unfinished business.
~A weak ‘hoot’ is heard from within the medical tent. The Knife Man jumps~
The Knife Man: I’m sorry Mr. Jones but it sounds like Alice is in some pain. I must head back in there. Stay warm, dear friend!
~The Knife Man rushes back into the tent. His knife SLASHES through part of the flap. Jones looks back into the camera~
Jones: Well there you have it, guys. Alice is having concussion issues and Mario is back to take care of some unfinished business. Back to you lucky people on the inside!
~We cut back to inside the Mortuary. It becomes apparent that the ring is ready for the Grudge Match~
Smith: Thanks Jones! Enjoy the outside! Potentially devastating news about Alice…
Hood: Oh who cares about that…I want to know what Mario’s unfinished business is
Smith: He’s got history with The Incredible One. He’s got history with Meyhu. And, of course, there’s the elephant in the room…the fact he’s the greatest wrestler in OCW history to never win the OCW Title
Hood: I’m anxious to see what he’s up to. OCW is always a better place when Mario Maurako is lurking the halls.
Smith: And speaking of a man with whom Maurako has history…The Incredible One looks to put Saxon Rowe in his place next!
Hood: I’m pulling for Rowe. TIO is old and weak and, even worse, a dad. Fuck him
Smith: Yikes…well it should be a brutal affair. These two men HATE each other. So, let’s go down to ringside and find out who will emerge victorious!
Grudge Match
Monster’s Ball Match
The Incredible One (19-5) vs. “Wise Guy” Saxon Rowe (1-1)
~The camera feed cuts to Belvedere in the middle of the ring as the OCW crowd, walking about in-between matches, start to come back to a more formal group as the bell rings.~
Belvedere: The following contest is the Beard versus Beard Monster’s Ball Match!
~The crowd inside the house go insane while the cheers from the crowd outside can be heard echoing inside as well.~
Belvedere: The monster’s ball match is a no disqualification match. You win via pinfall or submission, which can happen anywhere inside or outside the Mortuary Haunted House. The wrestlers in the match have been locked in separate rooms in the basement for the past twenty four hours and once their music hits, will be unlocked and brought to the ring!
Hood: Yes, the Monster’s Ball match! Are you ready, Smith?
Smith: I think so. This will probably be one of the more gruesome matches in OCW history.
Hood: Nothing will beat TIO’s match with Chad Vargas at Like There’s No Tomorrow! That match was straight fucked up.
Smith: It was a crazy match – but this feud is as personal as it gets.
~The inside of the house goes pitch black in anticipation for the competitors. One crowd member yells “BOO” and some fans scream. Classic OCW fans. “Who Taught You How to Hate” blasts out the sound system as the crowd explodes in cheers for the OCW Hall of Famer. The feed for those watching at home and outside show the basement. It is dark with very little lights, and those lights are dimmed. OCW personnel head towards a door and open it, revealing darkness. Former OCW Champion the Incredible One emerges from the room, looking bloodthirsty with bloodshot eyes and messy hair. He begins down the hall when all of a sudden another door swings open, smashing TIO in the face. His music stops, causing confusion in the main hall but the fans outside are able to witness Saxon Rowe emerge from his room, laughing.~
Smith: A treat for the crowd outside to see this!
Hood: Someone fucked up – they should’ve put a screen in the main room!
~Rowe kicks TIO in the gut hard a few times. The camera shows his face, also bloodshot, and his skin looking dry. His beard is in a pony but he unties it, and brings out a pair of brass knuckles that were tied to his beard. He crouches down and begins smashing the brass knuckles into the face of TIO relentlessly. Seconds into the match and TIO is already busted open, blood dripping from his nose and close to his eyes. Rowe hoists TIO up and whips him into a wall before striking him multiple times in the gut. Rowe grabs TIO by his hair and brings him out of the basement and onto the main stage, the crowd booing at the events unfolding.~
Smith: The VIP crowd finally understanding what’s going on.
Hood: Not much of a VIP if they find out LAST!
Smith: TIO not looking good at all, already bleeding. How was Rowe’s door unlocked, did he pay someone off?
Hood: Really? Rowe obviously knew TIO was walking by and took the opportunity.
~TIO is on his knees, catching his breath as Rowe raises his hands, allowing the crowd to boo for him. TIO gets up and goes towards Rowe, going for a strike but Rowe dodges and clips TIO in the side of head with the brass knuckles. TIO grabs his head as Rowe also grabs his hair and head butts him square in the forehead. TIO wobbles on the stage as Rowe lunges and spears TIO off the stage and into a table full of electrical equipment! The tables breaks on impact and the equipment flies everywhere as the crowd makes a circle around the two.~
Hood: I can’t see shit! Smith, what’s happening?
Smith: I think they’re just resting right now.
Hood: WEAK ASS MATCH!
Smith: I wouldn’t call it weak – but it’s been very one-sided so far.
~Rowe is the first to his feet as he pushes some of the crowd away to make room. He gives TIO a swift kick in the gut before elbowing dropping onto his neck. TIO gasps for as Rowe grabs him by his air, dragging his body across the sticky concrete from drinks and food. He picks him up, putting him on his shoulders and throws him gut first onto the railing of the stairs! TIO screams out in pain as Rowe pushes more fans away, lines up from a distance, and runs, ramming his knee right into the temple of TIO. TIO falls onto the ground, holding his head.~
Hood: Where the fuck is TIO tonight? Canada?
Smith: He hasn’t wrestled in months and while neither has Rowe, Rowe’s been relentless from the get go.
Hood: Rowe is the future of this business – mark my words!
Smith: Bold statement for the man in his third match.
~Rowe wipes his hands of dirt, mocking TIO as the crowd boos. Rowe mocks the fans before bringing TIO up. He says some inaudible words before whipping TIO into the barrier separating the fans and the ring. TIO hangs on it for a moment before falling onto the mat outside the ring. Rowe slowly climbs over the barricade and goes to the ring, looking under the ring. Rowe pulls out a steel chair and eyes TIO, hitting the chair on the side of the ring. TIO gets up, gently, but Rowe with full force smashes the chair on top of his head, causing a dent. TIO stands still for a moment but falls down. Rowe screams with laughter and the chaos so far, hitting the chair onto the steel steps. He throws the chair onto TIO before going to a ringside employee and grabbing a mic.~
Saxon Rowe: I’m so sorry Louisiana if you purchased tickets to see your Incredible One kick my ass but look! We’ve been going for almost ten minutes and I’ve been kicking his ass. He hasn’t gotten a single ounce of offense in yet! The only thing incredible he’s good at being is my punching bag, you fucking has been! I’d pin you now but I’m having way too much goddamn fun. I hope you regret making this match because for the next HOUR or so I’m going to—
~Rowe is cut off by “…Ready For It?” by Taylor Swift as the crowd cheers and Rowe goes wide eye. TIO’s daughter Jenna walks out on the stage, not impressed. She struts down the ring as Rowe begins screaming at the ref to kick her out. Scruff reminds Rowe the nature of the match as Jenna checks on her father.~
Saxon Rowe: Get out of here Jenna! This doesn’t concern you!
~Throwing the mic away, Rowe heads over to TIO and Jenna. Jenna walks away from her father but TIO comes to his sense as to what’s going on and finds the energy to jump at Rowe, punching him furiously in the face. The crowd chants “TIO” as he grabs Rowe’s head and throws his body into the steel steps back first. TIO backs up a bit and runs, bringing his boot to Rowe’s face, smashing against the steps.~
Smith: It takes the fatherly instinct to get TIO back in this match.
Hood: Rowe is right, Jenna has no business out here! Rowe has no one in his corner!
Smith: Jenna isn’t get involved in the match, at least I think, she was just checking on her father.
Hood: Really? I bet you twenty dollars Jenna superkicks Rowe in this match.
Smith: I’ll take that bet.
~TIO shakes the cobwebs out his head, as Rowe holds his own head. TIO, who has been dominated for the majority of the match so far, becomes enraged by just looking at Rowe. TIO grabs the mats and begins to rip them off the floor, exposing the concrete just like where the fans are. TIO then looks under the ring and grabs a table, to the excitement of the crowd. He sets it up and goes over to Rowe, punching him again in the head. Rowe falls to the ground on all fours, and he crawls away from TIO. TIO grinds his teeth, and goes to grab Rowe but he flips over, revealing a fire extinguisher and sprays the foam at TIO! The crowd gasps as TIO goes to his face to wipe the white spray away frantically. Rowe holds the base of the extinguisher and throws it, as it collides with TIO’s head. TIO falls to the ground, as the impact from the extinguisher splits the skin open on his ear.~
Smith: TIO let his anger get the best of him.
Hood: He needs to replicate exactly what Rowe was doing, non-stop attacking, especially if he wants to win this damn match.
Smith: Indeed!
~Rowe catches his breath as he smirks, nodding his head and pointing at TIO, mocking the fans once again. This time TIO gets up quicker to go for Rowe but he ducks, as TIO goes head first into the ring post. Rowe then big boots TIO’s head into the post again. TIO falls and rolls towards the ramp, as Rowe doesn’t stop the rampage. Rowe goes to pick TIO up but TIO punches Rowe between the legs! Rowe cries, holding himself, as this buys TIO time to recover. Rowe falls to his knees as TIO crawls to the ring apron and looks under the ring. TIO finds a kendo stick, gets slowly up and strikes hard into the back of Rowe! Rowe screams as TIO without stopping strikes Rowe multiple times in the same spot with the kendo. Rowe’s back begins to welt and bleed, as TIO finally takes the stick and breaks it over Rowe’s head. Rowe collapses onto the ramp as TIO takes the broken kendo stick and rubs it on Rowe’s forehead. Rowe screeches as the sharp wood cuts his forehead, some splintering under his skin.~
Hood: Jesus Christ!
Smith: TIO showing Rowe he’s not backing down even with all he’s taken so far.
Hood: I’d rather be kicked in the nuts then have a splinter in my forehead.
Smith: Like to test that theory?
Hood: Uh… no.
~Jenna is seen cheering for her father as TIO throws the kendo stick away. Rowe has blood pouring from his forehead, TIO having gashed his head badly. Scruff takes a look at Rowe while TIO looks under the ring and drags out a ladder. The crowd goes nuts as TIO sets it up but Rowe see’s this. Rowe throws Scruff between him and TIO, and Rowe books it over the barricade and begins to run towards the entrance of the house. TIO shakes his head frustratingly but starts to go for Rowe. The crowd in a fury begin chasing after both men as the match spills out onto the grounds of the haunted house.~
Hood: Now we can’t see shit!
Smith: *giving Hood a wireless headset* I came prepared, let’ go!
Hood: Your nerdy-ness finally comes in handy!
~The announcers follow the crowd as TIO and Rowe are brawling on the steps of the house, a crowd formed around them. TIO gains the upper hand of the brawl as he grabs Rowe’s head and knees him in the mouth. Rowe’s head jerks back up as a tooth flies out while Rowe falls and tumbles down the steps. TIO throws Rowe out onto the street as Scruff hurries to the scene. TIO sets Rowe’s head so it’s laying on the curb. TIO goes to curb stomp Rowe’s head but Rowe rolls away at the last second. Rowe uses his arm to trip TIO up, giving him sweet seconds to recover. Rowe gets up and kicks TIO in the gut and whips his head hard so the back of his head smashes onto the asphalt street. Rowe eyes a manhole cover as he brings TIO over to it. He kicks TIO in the gut and flips TIO up, and lands a piledriver right onto the thick manhole cover. The impacting thud of TIO’s head bouncing off the cover causes the crowd to chant “holy shit” as Rowe goes for the pin.~
1…
2…
Smith: TIO kicks out of the first pin attempt of the match!
Hood: Are we sure TIO isn’t concussed? He’s taken so much shit to the head!
Smith: If he wasn’t before, I’m sure he is now
~Jenna has her hand over her mouth as she watches from the steps. Besides kicking out of the pin, TIO has barely moved since the piledriver. Rowe sits on the pavement, catching his breath, while staring at Scruff, who reminds him it was a two count. Rowe mocks Scruff before getting up and looking at TIO’s body, the only part of his body moving is his breathing. Rowe slowly bends down to bring TIO up but TIO grabs a handful of dirt from the ground and throws it in Rowe’s eyes! He walks away as TIO gets up to his feet but when he is up he wobbles a significant amount towards the steps of the house. Rowe gets the dirt away from his eyes and begins to run towards TIO. TIO hugs Rowe and flips him over his head, sending him crashing into one of the pillars of the house back first and Rowe lands on the steps head first!~
Smith: Amazing counter by the hall of famer.
Hood: How the hell is TIO still performing?
Smith: This man is the definition of endurance.
Hood: Or insane.
~Rowe is still on his head upside for a second before falling to one side. TIO uses the pillar to help himself back up before taking a hold of Rowe’s foot and dragging him up the stairs and back inside the house. He hoists Rowe up and puts him on his shoulder, eventually dumping him over the barricade, back to ringside. TIO goes over the barricade as the VIP fans crowd back into the house. TIO throws Rowe into the ring, marking the first time one of them has been in it. TIO looks under the ring and grabs an empty trash can. He throws it in the ring as well. TIO goes and climbs up on the ring apron but during this time Rowe quickly recovers, grabs the trash can and smashes TIO in the head with it. TIO grabs the ropes and wobbles a bit while Rowe whips off the opposite ropes and goes for a spear through the ropes but TIO, still holding onto the ropes with one hand, locks Rowe’s head around his other arm and plants Rowe with a DDT through the table from earlier and onto the concrete! The crowd goes insane as Rowe flops around like a fish out of water in absolute pain while TIO catches his breath.~
Hood: Now Rowe has to be concussed!
Smith: It’s as if they just want to kill each other and not wrestle!
Hood: Are you just fucking getting this now?!
~The feed reveals Rowe’s gash re-opened as blood is all over his face and going down onto his body. TIO smirks as he picks Rowe up and buckle bombs him straight into the steel post, as he bounces off and crashes hard into the mats. Rowe lets out a cry as he squirms in pain, kicking his feet. TIO grabs his legs and fall downs, causing Rowe to catapult head first into the post. Rowe just leans against the post, completely exhausted. TIO grabs Rowe by his waist and does a german suplex, holding it. He comes back up and does another suplex, this time slower. TIO takes his time coming up to do the third one, but Rowe blocks it with his leg and then swings his leg back, low blowing TIO. TIO stumbles back as Rowe walks away, trying to gain some composure. Rowe looks under the ring and grabs a small bag, smirking wildly. He rolls into the ring as TIO is catching his breath and TIO watches as Rowe dumps thumbtacks onto the ring.~
Smith: And there are thumbtacks now.
Hood: TIO used them on his assault of Rowe at Mayhem on the Midway, it’s payback time!
Smith: You’d think this would have to be it, whoever gets tacked?
Hood: Who knows? I thought it was done when TIO went head first into the manhole cover!
~Rowe motions for TIO to join him in the ring, as he smiles, blood glistening from his lips. The bloody TIO, anger in his eyes, slowly comes into the ring as well as the two stare each other down. The tension in the air is intense as the two come at each other and brawl, the crowd hot for it. TIO smashes Rowe in the head and the crowd goes “WOO!”. Rowe smashes TIO in the head and the crowd goes “BOO!”. They go at for several more moments before Rowe ducks one of TIO’s strikes by going down on one knee and then Rowe hits a massive uppercut square in TIO’s chin. This sends TIO stumbling into the corner turnbuckle as Rowe continues towards him. He lifts TIO so he’s sitting on the top of the turnbuckle and then Rowe climbs up himself, putting TIO’s arm over his neck. Rowe tries to lift TIO up to connect a big superplex but TIO blocks it and gives Rowe straight jabs to the ribs. Rowe tries again for a superplex but TIO blocks again and this time locks Rowe’s head in and launches his body towards the middle of the ring, letting go, so Rowe lands belly first onto the thumbtacks!~
Hood: NOOOOOO!
Smith: That’s going to hurt.
Hood: He’s gonna flop around like a fish out of water again!
Smith: That’s a great analogy!
~Rowe is on his knees, shaking, prying the thumbtacks from his body when TIO flashes over and DDT’s Rowe onto the tacks without warning causing the crowd to explode. TIO takes this moment to go for a pinfall as Scruff slides in, but away from the tacks.~
1…
2…
~Rowe rolls out of the pin, grabs a handful of thumbtacks and locks in the “Made Man” crossface onto TIO, forcing the tacks in TIO’s face! TIO belts out in pain, lifting his body with his one free hand. With no rope breaks, TIO goes back down and takes his free hand, punching Rowe in the head but Rowe continues to have the lock in. TIO lifts his hand, trying to fight the pain and looks as if he’s going to tap…~
Smith: Tacks to the face in a crossface!
Hood: One of the most fucked up things I’ve seen.
Smith: Clearly Rowe is going to do anything to take out TIO.
~…TIO makes a fist and pounds the mat before using the little energy he has to come to a standing position, with Rowe still having the crossface locked in, and slams back so Rowe goes back first into the tacks! Rowe immediately lets go and rolls out of the ring, in utter shock from having tacks all in him. Jenna slides into the ring, assisting her father in prying the tacks out of his face. Rowe notices this, as he becomes infuriated. He looks under the ring and brings out a sheet of glass, causing the crowd to gasp in horror. Jenna steps away as Rowe slides in the ring and goes to smash the glass over TIO but TIO kicks Rowe in the gut. Rowe drops the glass, it hitting the ground – not breaking. TIO hoists Rowe up onto his shoulders and spins him, landing the “This Damn Incredible” argentine piledriver onto the thumbtacks! The crowd goes berserk as TIO hooks Rowe’s leg for the cover!~
1…
2…
3—
Smith: And TIO has won the match!
Hood: Idiot, did you hear Scruff call the bell?
Smith: Wait, what happened?
~Everyone looks on in confusion as TIO himself stops the pin. Scruff looks at Jenna as she yells to her dad but TIO is fixated on the sheet of glass. He gets up, Rowe panting on the ground, as everyone watches TIO pick up the sheet of glass and then stare coldly at Rowe. Rowe gets to his knees but Jenna goes behind Rowe so he can’t leave. Rowe exchanges terrified looks at both Jenna and TIO and he then begins to plead loudly to TIO.~
Saxon Rowe: Please… stop this.
~TIO looks at Jenna and then laughs at Rowe.~
TIO: You want me to stop?!
Saxon Rowe: Yes… I’m sorry!
TIO: You’re sorry?!
Saxon Rowe: I am – please—
TIO: It’s too damn late for apologies!
~Rowe puts his arms up to defend himself as TIO raises the sheet of glass and…~
SMASH!
Hood: HAH! Smith, you owe me twenty dollars!
Smith: NO I DON’T!
Hood: Yes, Jenna just superkicked… wait… WHAT?!
SMITH: EXACTLY!
~The entire Mortuary Haunted House falls silent in absolute shock as Rowe opens his eyes, now jaw dropped, to see TIO on his back, with fresh cuts on his face from the sheet of glass shattering on his head courtesy of a superkick from Jenna. Rowe stares at Jenna who is just staring down at the body of her motionless father. Rowe hesitates for a moment before crawling over to TIO’s body and hooking his leg.~
1…
2…
3!!!
Hood: Rowe just defeated TIO!
Smith: I can’t believe what I just witnessed.
Hood: History, Smith! History!
Smith: And you still owe me twenty dollars.
Hood: Fuck…
~”Layla” by Derek and the Dominoes plays as the crowd boo’s heavily. Rowe gradually gets up as Scruff, shocked too, raises Rowe’s arm.~
Belvedere: Here is the winner of the match… “WISEGUY” SAXON ROWE!
~Jenna slides out of the ring, and grabs a plastic container from a ring-side employee as she slides back in and opens it. She brings out electric clippers and turns it on. Rowe stares at Jenna, still a little concern but then Jenna offers the clippers to Rowe. Rowe smirks as he takes them and begins to shave the beard of TIO, while the crowd begins to throw trash in the ring – pissed off. Rowe laughs as Jenna stands there, watching Rowe take her father’s beard away from him. A single tear goes down TIO’s face, as the exhausted Hall of Famer just goes through the embarrassment. Once finished, Rowe throws the baby-faced TIO down. Jenna takes Rowe’s arm and lifts it up in the air. Jenna goes and bends the ropes to help Rowe out of the ring as the two of them leave the ring. The camera’s show a shattered TIO laying on the mat, watching his daughter leave with Rowe as the feed cuts to ringside.~
Smith: I’m still digesting what we witnessed.
Hood: I guess forcing your mom to not take cancer treatments is enough to turn on your father!
Smith: It’s such a complex situation Hood. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer, everyone reacts differently to tragedy and pending death.
Hood: Well we just learned in the last two weeks how TIO and Jenna react to it.
Smith: Indeed… and even after this shocking ending… the show must go on!
Hood: I will say this. I thought Jenna's aspirations of being a wrestler were fucking stupid. But after that...man, she's going to be a star!
Smith: I just feel bad for TIO. After everything he's been through this year...now he must face the betrayal of his own daughter! Why? How did Rowe get to this girl? Ugh...this entire situation is disgusting me the longer I think about it
Hood: Take a break, man. They've got to get all that blood and glass and beard hair out of the ring before they can set up the CUBE. Let's go to the whore outside or something
~A somber Smith nods, sending the feed to the outside~
~We cut outside to as hot of Who’Re. AKB is, once again, making out with a female. Who’Re seems sad~
Who’Re: Thanks guys. If I look a little sad it’s because I am. Jenna, if you’re listening, please rethink your actions tonight. TIO is your father and a good man. Speaking as a daughter I know relationships can be complicated but there won’t be a man in your life who cares about you as much as your father.
~Who’Re slides a tear from her cheek. People nearby are moved. The woman making out with AKB heard every word. She shoves AKB off her and stands up straight, fixing her attire~
Woman: My father would be ashamed of me! Thanks for talking some sense into me, Who’Re! I’m going to go make my father proud!
~The woman steps off the platform and runs into the arms of a man dressed like TIO. Everyone finds this unexpected and a little weird~
Who’Re: It’s all subjective, I suppose
~AKB reclaims his mic, his balls ache worse than ever~
AKB: You are the worst wingman ever
Who’Re: Forgive me for speaking my mind!
AKB: Ugh man they hurt so bad! Fuck! I think I’m about to break my rule against stepping into Port-o-Potties.
~AKB drops his mic and heads to the nearest ‘private’ area. Who’Re picks up the slack, as always~
Who’Re: Well fans we’ve got one match remaining and it’s the main event. Who’s going to win? Vargas? Or Matt Meyhu?
~The fans are split. The Vargas fans curse out the Meyhu fans. The Meyhu fans refuse to back down. They start brawling. In the midst of their brawl we see the fan who was Irish Whipped earlier run right through them! He keeps running and running. Who’Re’s head follows the man as he runs right past The Mortuary, down the street and back into some foliage, disappearing from sight~
Who’Re: Hmm…well, back to you guys inside The Mortuary!
Smith: Well that certainly felt like filler!
Hood: No shit
Smith: Well folks it’s time for our main event so…
~As if an cue, the lights go out and a single spotlight shines right in front of the trash bag curtain. A familiar drum and guitar beat start playing over the speakers as "Sweet Transvestite" can be heard through the arena. Someone dressed as Frank-N-Furter, full make and huge cape to boot, appears in the spot as the fans give a huge pop! They sing along as Frank-N-Furter struts down the ramp to the ring.~
Smith: Whoever that is went all out.
Hood: Right? Look at those heels!
~When the person gets to the steel steps, they put one foot on them and flings off the cape! The lights come back on in full showing the figure is dressed in the full Frank-N-Furter costume. Corset, mom tattoo, black underwear, the high-heel boots, everything. They step in the middle of the ring, and with more light, we can see it's actually....~
Hood: I don't fucking believe it.
Smith: Frank-N-Zybala!
Hood: Maybe Zybala-Furter?
Smith: Either work for me. The man went all out. First he was dressed as a ghost during our opener and now this!
Hood: The guy just can’t stay away, can he? Son of a bitch
~The fans cheer louder when they realize that it's Zybala. The music stops and Zybala gets a microphone from Belvedere and addresses the crowd!~
Zybala: (gives a sultry chuckle.) Heeeelllo my bleacher creatures. How are you my darlings?
~The fans give a huge cheer! ~
Zybala: First things first…Alice Knight. I’m told she suffered some pretty serious head trauma but…should be her normal self in due time. We all want to wish her our best. Furthermore, I’d like to thank Mario Maurako for being out here and preventing ‘King Infinity’ from doing further damage to OCW’s most beloved star!
~The crowd seems a bit saddened by the news but they soon perk up with chants for “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” Zybala stands back giving the chants their moment before continuing~
Zybala: But the show must go on as they say and on we shall go! It seems like you’re all having a good time, so let's keep the good times going by announcing our next pay-per-view. Now I happened to be in Marcus's office earlier looking for some forms regarding our new health insurance plan when I came upon his idea for next month. I read it and only part of it was okay. First off, he wanted to call it "Thanks Beatings" or some Thanksgiving pun like that.
~The crowd boos at this.~
Zybala: I know, I know. And he wanted to do his usual, predictable formula of having like four regular title matches and one special match. Granted the match was a Survivor Series style match. But I felt we can do better. I say for one night only, we suspend ALL the title matches in favor of FOUR Survivor Series matches! Then the survivors from each match go on to the main event to compete in an elimination style match, every person for themselves, and the winner of that match is the Sole Survivor and gets an OCW Title shot at the next PPV!
~The fans cheer as they love this idea. Who wouldn't? It's fresh, and interesting. The cheers turn to boos as Marcus Welsh and Greg come out on stage. Neither are wearing costumes, the party poopers. Welsh is glaring at Zybala with anger as Greg stares with what some might call interest.~
Welsh: Before I veto your stupid idea, I've got to know. What's with the stupid costume?
Zybala: Bitch, don't be hatin'. You're just mad because A. I look damn good, and B. You can't get any of this because I'm straight.
~More anger passes over Welsh's face as if the idea of him liking Zybala in any sense of the word could cause an embolism. Greg looks slightly dejected.~
Welsh: Whatever. Moving on. What gives you the right to come out here and change my masterfully thought out ppv and turn it into one of your crazy ideas? And I didn't call it "Thanks-Beatings", I called it "Death March."
Zybala: Meh, so the name is OK. But your "carefully thought out" plan sucked! It's the same formula you use every month! Change this up. Toss some spice in the recipe. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, fans will get bored and tune out.
Welsh: Oh? And I should listen to your half-baked scheme? What makes your idea any better than mine?
Zybala: Because we can add a personal bet to my idea, Marcus.
~Welsh's look of anger fades and is replaced by curiosity. ~
Welsh: A bet you say. Alright, I'm listening.
Zybala: Alright, dig this. Before the show, I pick four captains and you pick four captains. We allow these captains to organize their teams. When all is said and done, when we have the single winner of the night, not only will they have an OCW title shot on the next pay-per-view, but the person that sponsored them..... Well that person is officially IN CHARGE of OCW!! If my person wins, I become the new GM, and you become MY commissioner. If your guy wins, then I give up my role as commissioner, and become a member of the roster like I used to be. No tricks, no last minute swerve. Commissioner Zybala will be no more. Now how's THAT for making a great pay-per-view? Everything at stake, every match has companywide ramifications, it will be a nail bitter filled with Antici...........
Fans: SAY IT! SAY IT!
Zybala: Pation!! What do you say Marcus? Are you going to veto my idea? Or will you accept my challenge and make Death March the most must see show in OCW history??
~Welsh hesitates. He silently weighs the pros and cons while Greg looks at him with an anxious gaze. Welsh seem truly torn~
Welsh: So I get to pick my four captains. Those four captains will then recruit a team of their own. The teams manned by my four captains will face the teams manned by your four captains. If one of my guys win you will forfeit all administrative power and become a wrestler once again? A wrestler I have full control over?
Zybala: Hey, you’re a great listener, who knew? Yes, that’s correct. But, if one of my guys win then I’m the new GM of OCW and you will answer to me.
Welsh: Ughhh…yea that sounds like a terrible notion. I just…I don’t know.
Zybala: I’ll even let you have the first pick.
Welsh: First pick..from anyone?
Zybala: Well aside from the OCW Champion and whoever he’s facing. We can’t very well have a PPV without an OCW Title match.
~Welsh contemplates the offer. He runs through the list of names he could pick first through his head. He looks down at the ring and sees Zybala dancing around and firing up the crowd, acting like a goof. For some reason this makes up his mind~
Welsh: You know what, to get rid of you…to make you a wrestler once more under my entire control…yea, I’ll take that deal. It’s worth the risk!
~Greg begins to massage Welsh’s bicep. He seems to be excited over Welsh’s decision. Zybala is too…albeit in a different kinda way~
Zybala: Well how about that! He didn’t veto my idea? Smart move, Welsh! OCW fans get ready because on December 17th you will witness one of the greatest events in wrestling history. Death March LIVE from Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! Yep…OCW’s first Canadian hosted PPV!
~Even though these people are American they still cheer the announcement. Welsh turns and heads backstage as Zybala continues playing to and firing up the crowd. We focus back on Smith and Hood~
Smith: And there we have it! Our next big event is named Death March! An evening long struggle featuring our entire roster as one competitor looks to rise above the rest to not only claim an OCW Title shot but to also play a big role in dictating OCW’s future heading into 2019
Hood: Welsh had better pick the right captains. If Zybala’s guy wins at Death March I believe OCW will cease to exist.
Smith: The stakes have never been higher. Death March comes to you LIVE on Monday, December 17th from Canada! But, for now…we’ve still got Serial Thrillers to finish up
Hood: Yep and what a night it’s been!
Smith: Indeed…an event that will be hard. Another great addition to the OCW PPV library.
LIVE! Monday, December 17th 2018
From Assiniboine Park
Located in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Team 1 vs. Team 2
Match 2
Match 3
Match 4
OCW Championship
Main Event - Soul Survivor
Team 3 vs. Team 4
Team 5 vs. Team 6
Team 7 vs. Team 8
TBA (c) vs. TBA
TBA
Smith: That event looks like it will be amazing - and cold!
Hood: Yea man I feel like I need a jacket. But not a gay ass 8 ball jacket
Smith: Huh?
Hood: I don't know
Smith: Well thanks for keeping things relevant, pal. It's been a historic night, everyone. All titles have changed hands. Will it be a clean sweep? Can Vargas dethrone Meyhu? Let's find out as our Main Event is up next!
OCW Championship
Halloween Horror Match
“The Marvel” Matt Meyhu © (23-2) vs. “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (20-5)
~It’s been a long, wild night but you wouldn’t know it based on this crowd. They are hotter than ever! They know what’s next. Arguably the greatest match in OCW history is on the horizon. A ‘VARGAS’ chant begins outside the Mortuary. It bleeds into the Mortuary through the walls. The fans inside pick up on it and they give the chant life on the inside. Before long all the fans…everyone within a mile radius is chanting for THE CONFEDERATE ICON. Belvedere is standing inside the ring. THE CUBE has been constructed. It is hanging high enough above the ring to allow the necessary parties to enter and exit~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the Evening!!
~The crowd goes wild!! They chant “OCW! OCW! OCW!”~
Smith: The crowd is ready, Hood! They’ve waited all evening for this
Hood: All evening? I’ve been waiting since July for this shit!
Smith: A match that feels over a year in the making. Two of OCW’s greatest finally face off for the most prestigious prize in professional wrestling. This match has that old school feel
Hood: Tremendous fucking heat for this thing, Smith. These two legit HATE each other…just like the good old days
Smith: Indeed
Belvedere: This is a Halloween Horror Match! This match will feature three stages. The first stage will be held within THE CUBE
~The crowd chants “CUBE! CUBE!” The Cube shakes for some reason. It’s as though it’s responding to the crowd. But it’s more likely the reverberations from the chants impacting the Plexiglas~
Belvedere: The rules within The Cube are simple. You cannot escape. You must defeat your opponent via pinfall, submission, or knock out. Once that has been achieved both competitors will move onto the second stage of the match…Escaping the Mortuary
Smith: A clever set of stipulations to start the match, Hood. Chad Vargas won his first OCW Title within THE CUBE. Meyhu won his first OCW Title in an Escape the Prison Match.
Hood: And people say Marcus Welsh is a bad GM. FAKE FUCKING NEWS
Belvedere: The first individual to ESCAPE the Mortuary will win the second phase of this match. If the first two phases are split then we will move into the third and decisive phase. This phase will be a Buried Alive Match!
~The crowd goes wild, especially the fans on the outside. They will have front row seats to this phase IF the match gets that far~
Smith: There is a cemetery right behind this place, Hood. I’d imagine a freshly dug grave is out there somewhere
Hood: Man buried alive inside a New Orleans grave. I’d hate to be that guy
Smith: Indeed…a potentially fitting end for one of the most heated matches in OCW history
Belvedere: The rules for a Buried Alive match are simple. In order to win you must throw your opponent inside a grave and cover them with dirt. If the match reaches this point…the first person to do so will be declared the winner and the OCW Champion!!!
~The crowd cheers! They are bloodthirsty and ready to see some fucking violence~
Belvedere: Introducing first…the challenger…
~“Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd starts to play. The crowd in and outside the Mortuary goes wild!! It’s obvious where their loyalties lie this evening. Chad Vargas violently bursts through the trash bag entrance. He’s already talking shit. He’s calling Meyhu every name in the Confederate Book of Putdowns he can conjure. The fans are going wild for it. He reaches the ringside area and rolls in, popping to his feet. He climbs the nearest corner and reaches up, slapping the side of THE CUBE! The crowd chants “VARGAS! VARGAS!” He continues talking shit to anyone who can hear him~
Belvedere: From Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!!
~Vargas motions around his waist that the OCW Title is COMING HOME. He slaps himself on the chest, continuing to fire up. The crowd is eating up every moment of his entrance until…~
~The infamous chords which signal the beginning of THE CHAMP’S entrance fill the Mortuary and all that surrounds it. BOOOOS flood the atmosphere. A lime strobe light flickers and flashes inside the Mortuary as THE CHAMP emerges triumphantly from behind the garbage bag curtain. The OCW Title is secured appropriately around his waist. He marches toward the ring with his chin held high, ignoring all the fans. Vargas stares the CHAMP down from atop the second buckle inside the ring. Meyhu refuses to make eye contact, acting as though Vargas is beneath him. He reaches the ringside area and rushes up the steps before leaping over the top rope, into the ring. The crowd begins a ‘FUCK-YOU MEY-HU” chant! The CHAMP simply extends his arms and encourages them to get louder~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the OCW Champion….he is “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu!!!!
Hood: LOOK SMITH IT’S THE CHAMP!
Smith: I see him
Hood: He looks in CHAMPIONSHIP quality condition!
Smith: He’s always in great condition…that’s why he’s never been pinned, Hood
Hood: Vargas is probably thinking he’s made a huge mistake right about now, don’t you think?
Smith: I don’t think The Confederate Icon fears anything, Hood. This is a chance he’s craved ever since Meyhu stepped foot into OCW nearly two years ago
~Vargas flips Meyhu two middle fingers while remaining on the second buckle. Meyhu smirks and utters something about ‘white trash.’ He removes his belt and hands it to Scruff. Scruff holds the title up to a loud ovation from the fans. Vargas turns around and hops off the second buckle. Belvedere receives the OCW Title from Scruff and exits. The CUBE begins to lower~
Smith: There is no escaping the CUBE, Hood. Once it’s down you are locked inside.
Hood: No door. No opening at the top. Just a giant, Plexiglas square you’re trapped under. Now we all know how grasshoppers felt when we trapped them as children
Smith: I never trapped bugs
Hood: What were you scared of them or something?
Smith: I had a grass allergy
Hood: Haha…you’re so gay
~The CUBE is fully lowered. Meyhu looks around, digesting the atmosphere. Vargas hops around, limbering up. He continues talking shit. Meyhu, as always, just ignores the filthy mouth of Vargas. He’s surrounded by that championship level composure. Love him or hate him Meyhu is a champion through and through~
Smith: And here we go! Vargas and Meyhu…this has all the makings of Lurrr/Scorpion and Silverfreak/Syren reincarnated!
Hood: It’s the HATE, Smith. Hate is always behind wrestling’s greatest feuds whether the wrestlers will admit it or not. Meyhu wants to win this match more than any match he’s ever had in OCW history. Vargas despises Meyhu and will likely be unable to cope with a defeat at The Marvel’s hands.
Smith: The stakes are high. They go beyond the OCW Title…is that what you’re saying?
Hood: Potentially…the loser of this match is NOT going to be happy
~The bell rings! The crowd goes WILD! Vargas points at Meyhu and talks more shit. Meyhu stands in the center of the ring, watching Vargas acting in a worked up, crazed manner. Vargas lunges toward The Champ for a lock up! The Champ responds as any wrestler would. Vargas, though, pulls back and throws a kick into the Champ’s groin!!! Meyhu doubles over, grimacing. Vargas laughs and shouts a bunch of obscenities at the injured Champ~
Smith: Hey!
Hood: Everybody knows I’m pulling for the champ in this one…but you have to give it to Vargas. That was smart
Smith: A little underhanded if you ask me
Hood: If it’s legal then it isn’t underhanded you moron
~Vargas throws some downward forearms into the back of Meyhu! It takes three to bring the OCW Champion to his knees. Vargas alters his course of attack by throwing some stiff kicks into Meyhu’s chest. It takes five to bring the Champ to all fours. Vargas takes a few steps back and he lunges forward with a soccer style kick into the side of Meyhu’s head!! Meyhu flips over onto his back, staring blankly~
Smith: Vargas has been chomping at the bit for this opportunity.
Hood: Well that’s fucking obvious
Smith: He’s off to a fast start…but will it hold up? Meyhu has shown that he has the stamina to outlast just about anyone in this business
Hood: What about Vargas? You saying he’s some kind of fucking chain smoker who puts his guts out after one set of suicides?
Smith: I said no such thing!
~Vargas mounts Meyhu and snares a handful of Meyhu’s hair with his left hand. He starts peppering the champ with straight right hands. One after another after another after another…it appears to be a form of catharsis for Vargas. He yells things like “FUCK YOU!” while punching. We also hear a “WEAK ASS CHAMPION!” thrown in there! The crowd is cheering the unadulterated violence. The punches begin to slow. Vargas starts to work his right hand open and closed. He shakes his hand. He throws one final right hand and releases the champs head. The back of Meyhu’s head smacks into the canvas. Vargas gets to his feet to a standing ovation from the crowd. Again, he shakes his right hand and looks at his fist. The knuckles are red and bleeding. We look down at the champ and see his forehead battered, bruised and red. But there is no blood~
Smith: I don’t know what’s more amazing…the assault Vargas just gave our champion or the fact that Meyhu’s skin remains unbroken
Hood: The champ is a freak, Smith. Matt Meyhu is a true Marvel
Smith: It’s moments like this that tend to break the confidence of his opponents. You don’t realize how talented this man is until you’re actually in the ring, facing him
Hood: Yep and Vargas has to actually pin or make him submit to win this portion of the match
Smith: The Marvel has never been pinned or submitted in OCW. It would seem The Confederate Icon has quite the hill to climb
Hood: He could also knock Meyhu out but, I mean, c’mon. If you can’t keep a guy down for three seconds how the hell are you going to keep him down for ten?
Smith: Indeed
~Vargas seems frustrated by the lack of blood on Meyhu’s head. He considers punching him some more but his hand is pretty banged up from the earlier barrage. So he snares The Champ by the hair and yanks him to his feet. He drags him across the ring and throws him face first into the side of the CUBE!! The champ’s head SLAMS into the Plexiglas!! Vargas holds on. He repeatedly slams the Champ’s face into the Cube. Over and over and over and over. The fans count along…they get to ten…twelve…fifteen…finally, at seventeen Vargas stops and lets Meyhu go. He crumbles to the ground. Vargas leans in, looking at the Cube. There is a slight crack in the Plexiglas from the repeated impact. He turns and quickly makes a cover on The Champ~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: It’s going to take more than that!
Hood: He damn near broke THE CUBE with Meyhu’s face and the champ STILL kicked out
Smith: Until we see this man pinned in OCW I’m going to have to assume The Marvel cannot be held down for a three count
~Vargas is annoyed but far from frustrated. He’s still got a LONG way to go. He gets to his feet and stomps into Meyhu’s midsection. Meyhu sits up, holding his abdomen in pain. His head remains bloodless! Vargas throws a kick into Meyhu’s chest, sending him on his back. He grabs the Champ’s legs and hooks them under his arms. He falls back for a catapult. He’s aiming to shoot Meyhu into the cracked side of the CUBE. Meyhu leaps into the air but holds onto the ropes to keep from hitting the CUBE. Vargas hurries to his feet. He moves toward Meyhu but is nailed with HUBRIS!!! Vargas stumbles back into the ropes and starts to fall through them but runs into the CUBE. So he’s sort of hanging in between the top and middle rope with his shoulder and head leaning into THE CUBE~
Smith: Hubris!! That’s the type of kick that will stymie just about anyone…even the irascible Confederate Icon!
Hood: Who can beat this man, Smith? Who can beat Matt Meyhu?
Smith: Up to this point, nobody. We’ll find out if Vargas is that man by the end of the evening
Hood: He just bashed Meyhu’s head like fifty times and The Champ is STILL standing.
~Vargas fights away from The CUBE and stands upright. Meyhu charges at Vargas with a lariat. Vargas ducks and hits the ropes. He bounces off and goes for a spear. Meyhu catches Vargas and lifts him up for a Powerbomb!!! Vargas looks around, shocked! He throws some right hands down into Meyhu’s head! The champ wobbles…but he keeps Vargas elevated. Vargas leans over and starts to bite the champ on the forehead!! Meyhu yells out in pain!! He spins around and drops Vargas with a sitout Powerbomb!!! He doesn’t hold on for a pin, instead he rolls away, holding his head. Vargas is flat on his back, wincing from the impact~
Smith: Vargas doing whatever he can to keep the champion from asserting his domination
Hood: This is truly amazing. Vargas is one of the best this business has ever seen and even HE is having trouble measuring up to Meyhu
Smith: Wrestling moves just aren’t working. It’s low blows, biting, punches to the head…Vargas is truly outmanned in this match, at least from what I’ve seen so far
Hood: He needs to get this thing out of The Cube. Vargas may not measure up inside those ropes but you get that fucker out into the streets…outside of that ring and his game elevates tremendously
~Meyhu stands up and leans into a corner. FINALLY we see some blood at the top of his forehead courtesy of The Confederate Icon’s pearly whites. Vargas remains on his back. Meyhu marches forward and leaps into the air with an elbow drop. Vargas moves out of the way!! The Champ’s elbow is driven straight into the mat. Vargas scrambles to his knees. He wraps his hands around Meyhu’s throat and tries to squeeze the life out of him. Meyhu reaches around for some ropes…but they are out of reach and, well, wouldn’t help anyway. Meyhu’s face is turning a dark shade of red. His eyes are bulging. Sweat is starting to form and run down the sides of his head along with the blood from the bite. Scruff slides in to ask The Champ if he wants to give it up~
Smith: Meyhu might consider tapping. He can still win the next phase
Hood: Yea but if you lose phase one you become a considerable underdog
Smith: But if he’s choked out he may not have the option of competing in a second phase
Hood: You think the Champ can be choked out?
Smith: Any man can be choked out, Hood
~Meyhu seems to be fading. Could he get choked out? He reaches up and grabs Vargas by the face! Chad yells! Meyhu takes his thumb and jams it into Chad’s eye! Vargas instantly releases his grip around Meyhu’s neck and rolls away, holding his eye. Meyhu sits up and backslides against the ropes, coughing. His neck is red and irritated. The crowd BOOS the maneuver but Meyhu couldn’t care less~
Smith: The champ doing what he has to in order to remain alive in this match
Hood: Literally!
Smith: Normally I’d shout hyperbole but I wouldn’t put past Vargas to ‘accidentally’ kill Meyhu…if he were able
~Vargas gets to his feet covering his left eye. He points at Meyhu and yells ‘FUCK YOU!’ Meyhu motions for Vargas to come at him. Chad, blinded by fury, charges forward and throws a knee at Meyhu’s head. The Marvel ducks! Chad’s knee SLAMS into the CUBE!! He backs away, holding his knee in pain. Meyhu crawls forward and rolls Vargas up!! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Meyhu nearly tricked Vargas into coughing up the first phase of this match!
Hood: Fucking hell…you have to love the champ! He’s the total package!
Smith: He’s one of the best we’ve ever seen. There’s no denying that
~Vargas rolls over, backwards and gets to his knees before springing to his feet. Meyhu is quick to his feet. Vargas stumbles a bit due to his afflicted knee giving Meyhu a window. Meyhu slugs Vargas in the gut with a right hand and hooks him for a suplex. He hoists Vargas up with a vertical suplex but Vargas manages to rake his fingers into the cut on Meyhu’s head. Meyhu loses his grip and Vargas flips over, behind Meyhu…the two are back to back. Vargas grabs Meyhu by the head and drops him with a Neckbreaker! He rolls over and punches with his left hand, drilling Meyhu in the head again and again, furious~
Smith: That temper of Vargas is limitless
Hood: He’s pissed! I think Meyhu goading him into that missed knee wounded his southern pride
Smith: Probably…he hates everything about Meyhu. No doubt being shown up by the champ would infuriate the Confederate Icon
~Vargas pops to his feet with the fans going wild! He yells out! His face is red with passion. Meyhu remains on the ground, trying to get up, but his face is pummeled. Vargas waves his arms up and down, getting the crowd on their feet. They all rise. Meyhu is finally able to sit up. Vargas crouches, poised. He yells at THE CHAMP to ‘GET THE FUCK UP’. Meyhu finally reaches his feet. He walks toward Chad and steps right into a right hand! Meyhu falls to the mat but get up quickly…he gets dropped with another right hand! He gets hit and dropped two more times before staggering to his feet much worse than before. Vargas signals and grabs Meyhu for THE STROKE! The crowd chants ‘YES!’ Vargas pauses and looks out at the crowd with passion in his eyes. Meyhu takes this momentary lapse to flip around! The crowd gasps! He’s got Chad locked for EGO TRIP! Vargas throws some desperate elbows into Meyhu’s ear! Meyhu lets go and falls to one knee. Chad stumbles into the corner and looks over at Meyhu, stunned~
Smith: Chad Vargas is beginning to realize what all others who have faced The Marvel understand…this man is where he is for no reason other than his amazing ability to withstand and conquer
Hood: He’s the fucking man, Smith. I don’t see how anyone can beat him
Smith: The longer this CUBE portion goes the less likely it appears Vargas will score a pinfall.
Hood: It’s hard for 0% to get any lower, Smith and the probability of Vargas pinning Meyhu heading into this match was at a fucking goose egg
~Vargas snaps out of his momentary paralysis. He goes back after Meyhu with a knee (the good one) to the head! Meyhu falls forward with his chest and arms draped over the bottom rope. The top of Meyhu’s head is pinned against the CUBE. Vargas takes his knee and slams it into the side of Meyhu’s head. Meyhu’s body shifts where the side of his head is pinned against THE CUBE. Vargas continues to bash him with his good knee. Over and over…it’s getting to be pretty brutal. We see Meyhu’s nose busted. It leaves blood marks on the CUBE. Vargas throws more knees and more knees. Blood is leaking from Meyhu’s mouth and ear. Vargas finally stops and limps around…he almost falls down…his knee is numb from all the blows. The fans were cheering but after a while they quieted down due to the violent nature of the attack~
Smith: We might need The Knife Man to check on our champion. He’s not moving…his face is bleeding and his head has got to be traumatized
Hood: He’s in the CUBE, Smith. There’s no escape until this portion of the match is over
Smith: I know but, still. There’s got to be a humanitarian aspect to all of this. The man is still a soon to be husband, a father
~The crowd does something unexpected. They start to cheer for Meyhu in the hopes that he’s okay. Vargas furrows his brow and grows angry. He heads toward Meyhu, furious that he’s receiving sympathy. He hooks Meyhu for The Stroke and drops him face first onto the mat! The wind from the crowd is audibly removed. Vargas flips Meyhu over and makes a sloppy cover~
1!
2!
3!
NO!!! Shoulder up!
Smith: Are you SERIOUS?
Hood: It’s official…that man CAN’T be pinned
Smith: I’m dumbfounded
~The crowd pops for the champ refusing to stay down! It was unexpected and means he’s alive! There is a giant, red spot of blood where Meyhu’s traumatized head hit from THE STROKE. Vargas slaps the mat with both hands. He yells at Scruff. He yells at the people. He then yells at Meyhu. He pulls Meyhu back up for a second Stroke~
Smith: I don’t think he’s kicking out of a second one
Hood: If he does, just end the match and retire the belt
~Vargas motions for the move and begins to drop Meyhu. Matt, though, manages to spin around and hook Vargas in a Small Package!!! Scruff slides in with the count! The crowd is actually counting along~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell sounds! The crowd leaps to their feet! Vargas kicks out, stunned. He crawls over toward Scruff trying to figure out what happened. Belvedere makes his announcement~
Belvedere: The winner of the first portion of this match via pinfall…“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: I don’t believe what I just saw
Hood: He’s inhuman, Smith! The man can’t be pinned! Unfortunately for Meyhu, though, he’s got to pick up one more portion of this match and, well, that doesn’t require anyone being pinned
Smith: Indeed and he’s in bad shape already
Hood: Yep…Vargas kicked his ass inside the CUBE. It’s just too bad he’s got nothing to show for it
~Chad is IRATE. He looks like he’s about to beat the shit out of Scruff. Scruff warns him that he’ll throw the match out. Vargas shoves Scruff away and starts to kick THE CUBE. It’s the portion that had already been cracked. The CUBE hasn’t been raised yet. After several kicks we see the entire side of the CUBE begin to crack and weaken. Vargas notices this as well. He marches toward Meyhu who is on his back, breathing heavily. His face is swollen and bloody. Vargas picks him up and drags him to the cracked side of the CUBE. He slings Meyhu as hard as he can into the CUBE! The entire side breaks and shatters!! Meyhu’s body goes flying through it, landing roughly on the outside! The fans are stunned. A few of them chant ‘HOLY SHIT’. Vargas steps through the ropes and stands on the apron, looking down at the battered champion. The bell sounds as the CUBE is raised~
Belvedere: And now we will begin the second portion of this match! This is an ESCAPE the MORTUARY match. The first person to escape the Mortuary will win. If Meyhu escapes first then the match is over. If Vargas escapes first then we move to the third portion.
~The crowd cheers. Vargas hops off the apron, next to Meyhu’s body~
Smith: Meyhu’s going to have a tough time winning this portion as well as the third
Hood: Yep, Vargas might have sacrificed the battle in an effort to win the war
Smith: Unknowingly
Hood: Oh yea, as if Vargas would ever willingly job to Matt Meyhu
~The bell rings, signifying the start of phase 2. Vargas doesn’t hesitate. He grabs Meyhu and lifts him to his feet. He swings and lifts Meyhu, placing the giant champion over his shoulder. He charges toward the guardrail and throws THE CHAMP head first into the crowd. Fans quickly part as Meyhu crashes roughly on the hard, uncovered flooring outside the ring area! The crowd stands around, looking at the champ. Vargas calmly steps over the guardrail, into the sea of people. He spots a white man with the dreaded BLACKFACE makeup on. He slaps the shit out of him, knocking the idiot to the ground. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: Chad Vargas standing up for racial integrity!
Hood: That or he’s mad at seeing a white guy dressed up like a black guy
Smith: Hmm…I don’t want to talk about this anymore
Hood: Right on…we don’t want to get Megyn Kelly’d
~Meyhu rolls over to reveal his bloody face. A few fans turn away…it might be Halloween and they may be in a haunted house, but something about REAL blood is just unsettling for people. Vargas grabs the soaked hair of Meyhu and drags him through the crowd. The fans part, opening an access point to one of the ‘keg’ rooms. The cameras follow Vargas and Meyhu. Vargas tosses Meyhu into the kegs! There are three of them! He crashes into them, head first! Thankfully, for The Marvel, he crashes into an empty keg, so it falls over without doing too much damage. Vargas curses his bad luck~
Smith: Good thing for the champ that keg was empty!
Hood: It’s been a long, wild night so I wouldn’t be shocked if all THREE of those kegs were empty
Smith: Indeed…the beer has been flowing. These fans are feeling good
Hood: Yet I’m sober. What the fuck
~Vargas snares the empty keg. Meyhu is seated up against one of the fuller kegs…which remains inside a trash can full of slushy water. Vargas holds the empty keg over his head and brings it crashing down. Meyhu rolls out of the way! The keg SLAMS into the ground and bounces around, loudly. Vargas moves out of the way to avoid getting hit by the ricochet. Meyhu starts crawling away from the keg room. Fans part, granting him an escape route…it’s no sign of generosity; they probably don’t want blood all over them. Vargas looks around and spots the parting of fans and gives chase~
Smith: Meyhu finally showing signs of life. I know it feels like Vargas is in total control but all Meyhu has to do is exit the Mortuary first and he will retain his OCW Title
Hood: Yep, Vargas is one big move away from losing this match
Smith: Indeed
~Vargas catches up with Meyhu and grabs him by the hair from behind. He yanks Meyhu to his feet. He spins Meyhu around! Meyhu spits blood into Chad’s face! Vargas stumbles backward, rubbing his eyes. Meyhu turns and continues to evade the Confederate Icon. His path leads him to one of the stairways that ascend into a balcony looking over the entrance way. He shoves fans aside. Vargas looks up, his eyes have been cleared of blood and he rushes after Meyhu. Vargas runs up the steps, two steps at a time. He catches up to Meyhu nearly at the top and clobbers him from behind with a forearm. Meyhu falls forward and rolls up the last few steps before landing on his back at the apex. Vargas marches up and shoves a few fans out of the way. He looks down at Meyhu with a smirk…Vargas poses as a visage of dominance. He yells out “KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!” The crowd cheers but it’s obvious their adoration for him as waned throughout the encounter. Vargas turns around and spots a fan staring out a giant, glass window which resides behind the balcony~
Smith: Vargas is feeling pretty confident, right now. Feeling his oats, as they say
Hood: He would eat oats, wouldn’t he?
Smith: What’s wrong with oats?
Hood: Nothing. Unless you have anything OTHER than oats to eat…then, in that case everything is wrong with oats.
Smith: Wow, I never realized you had such an aversion toward oats before
~We have no idea how long this fan has been staring out the window, looking out upon the cemetery behind the Mortuary. We’re not sure why, either. Why pay for a VIP ticket and then stare out the window. The fan has bright red hair and appears to be wearing a clown costume. Vargas is visibly annoyed that this mother fucker isn’t watching his decimation of Matt Meyhu. He spins the guy around to reveal PENNYWISE. Vargas rolls his eyes and drills the man dressed as Pennywise with a right hand. He then tosses Pennywise THROUGH THE WINDOW! The fan falls all the way to the ground, landing with a harsh thud. The crowd inside the Mortuary is quiet, at first. But they start to clap. They were all very annoyed at this Pennywise guy staring through the window. Vargas lingers. He looks out through the shattered window, perhaps gauging the distance to the ground~
Smith: Well there’s a probably lawsuit
Hood: Can’t sue if you’re dead
Smith: I’m sure he’s got family members…or friends
Hood: The guy, dressed as a clown, has been staring out a window all night. You really think anyone is going to miss this fucker?
Smith: Perhaps not
~Vargas places a foot atop the bottom of the window. The cool October breeze rushes in, blowing back his blonde hair. He pauses for a moment, contemplating the pros and the cons. Fans are cheering inside the Mortuary. Several fans outside have rushed beneath the window, looking up. They are yelling “DO IT!” Vargas appears on the verge of jumping~
Smith: If he jumps he’ll win this portion of the match
Hood: Yea and he’ll also be crippled
Smith: Which would most likely forfeit any opportunity at winning the third portion
~Chad’s eyes are wide with conflict. He’s so close to obtaining a win…but the price, like the fall may be too steep. He cries out with a loud “FUCK” and shoves away from the window. The crowd dies down a little, disappointed that a man isn’t going to potentially kill himself to try and win the OCW championship…fucking bloodlusts. Vargas turns around, angry at Meyhu. He’s placing the anger for being unable to jump onto his rival. Meyhu is standing, leaning against the balcony. Vargas charges at him, furious. Meyhu grabs the charging Vargas and tosses him over the balcony with a belly-to-belly!!! Vargas flies over the balcony! Meyhu’s position was off centered – much to the benefit of Vargas. Vargas lands atop a sea of fans looking up! They all crash to the floor! Meyhu drops to one knee, running his hand along his blood soaked face. The crowd inside and out go crazy. “HOLY SHIT” is the chant of the moment~
Smith: After seriously considering breaking both legs with an ill advised jump in an attempt to win one portion of this match Chad Vargas allowed Meyhu the time to recover just enough to throw him over the balcony
Hood: That’s how tough beating Meyhu is. The man is so fucking good you contemplate killing yourself to win one of three falls against this man
Smith: Thankfully Meyhu tossed Vargas into the fans, rather than the skinny aisle to the ring. The fans kept Vargas from suffering some serious injuries
Hood: As far as we know…but, man, Meyhu might actually close this thing out now
Smith: Yep…he’s suddenly risen from the dead with an opportunity to claim victory
~Meyhu rises. He looks out the shattered window. He takes a look down. He laughs and shakes his head saying “No fucking way.” He turns and stumbles down the stairs opposite of the side Vargas was thrown. He scans the Mortuary from halfway down the steps, locating the front doors. He’s got his point of exit targeted~
Smith: Vargas is in serious danger of losing this match…Meyhu is across the Mortuary heading for the exit.
Hood: Yep meanwhile Vargas is taking a nap all the way on the other side
Smith: He’s not taking a nap!
~Meyhu reaches the bottom of the steps. Fans are patting him on the back. A few women recoil when they see the damage done to his face. He’s becoming the sympathetic party in this bout. We even hear a small “champ!” chant get started as it appears he’s going to cruise to victory. A cameraman finally gets his ass over to Vargas. Chad is on all fours, staring at the ground. Fans are standing around him. He’s not bleeding or deformed in anyway, he’s just shaken up from the fall. Meyhu passes by the keg station and stumbles to his side. He pauses, hesitates. He’s lost a lot of blood. He fights through the fans, finding the guardrail around ringside. He leans over it, coughing…he almost dry heaves. He sucks some wind into his lungs. Vargas, meanwhile, across the way reaches up and grabs a fan by the shirt. It’s a CLASH AT THE COAST t-shirt. He pulls himself up and stares the man in the face…the man is dressed as EHUD OF MOAB. Vargas pie faces the guy out of his way and turns, heading for the staircase. Fans nearby shout at him that he’s going the wrong way. Vargas, unaware of Meyhu’s location, reaches the staircase thinking Meyhu is still up there~
Smith: Oh my! This isn’t helping Chad’s situation AT ALL.
Hood: He’s fucking done
Smith: It appears so. If he goes up those stairs there’s NO WAY he can catch Meyhu in time
Hood: No way, man. Once Meyhu gets past the ring it’s only like a hundred feet or so from the front doors
~Meyhu stands up straight and braces his weight against the guardrail while walking alongside it. He motions for fans to get out of his way, clearing a path. He’s walking along the right side of the ring, if you’re facing the exit. Vargas places his foot upon the first step. A fan dressed as CJ O’DONNELL grabs him by the shoulder and twists him around. Vargas head butts the fan! The fan falls to the ground. Vargas looks up and SEES Meyhu walking along the guardrail. He yells “FUCK!” and moves as fast as he can to stop the champion from defending his title. He fights through the fans, shoving and throwing them out of the way. The aisle way splitting the crowd keeps Vargas from reaching Meyhu. He reaches the guardrail at ringside and looks over. Meyhu has nearly reached the end of the guardrail running alongside the right side of the ring. Vargas is desperate. He’s got to do something~
Smith: The Confederate Icon is watching his OCW Championship opportunity limp away!
Hood: He’s fucked man! But how about that CJ O’Donnell fan helping him out?
Smith: I guess at this point the CJ supporters prefer Vargas over Meyhu
Hood: Makes sense to me!
~Vargas hops the guardrail. Meyhu reaches the corner of the guardrail, where it ends. He hesitates, taking a break. The man is in bad shape. Vargas slides into the ring. Meyhu pushes off the guardrail and stumbles forward. He’s about a hundred feet from the entrance. A sea of fans are between him and the security at the door. Vargas rushes to the corner nearest Meyhu. He climbs to the top. The fans point and yell, grabbing their friend’s attention…everyone quits looking at Meyhu and they look at Vargas. Meyhu notices the vibe changing. He turns to see what’s going on. Meyhu is about five feet from the guardrail which is about seven or eight feet from the corner Vargas is standing atop. Vargas places his right foot atop the ring post for leverage~
Smith: Oh no…he can’t
Hood: Hey it’s the only shot he’s got at staying in this match
Smith: He could break his legs! That’s a long jump with an even worse fall!
Hood: That’s how far Vargas is willing to go to recapture HIS OCW Championship
~Vargas takes in a deep breath. He steps forward and leaps off the corner! The entire arena gasps. They hush. The Confederate Icon flies through the air. His aging legs give this type of aerial assault one last go. Meyhu looks up. He can do nothing now but stand, watch and potentially brace for impact. Vargas has put it all on the line. Will he reach Meyhu?~
Smith: Chad Vargas barely cleared the top rope last week! He’s crazy!
Hood: Fly Chad, fly!
~It doesn’t take long for Vargas to reach the apex of his ascent. He starts to come down rather quickly. He falls and falls but managers to land into Meyhu with the sloppiest suicide dive you’ve ever seen!! His arms flail and slam into Meyhu’s chest, knocking him down! Vargas lands awkwardly in front of Meyhu…his knees taking more punishment than he would have liked! But, his mission is accomplished…Meyhu is down, Vargas is nearby and the place is going crazy~
Smith: It’s tough to describe what we just saw…Vargas basically performed a dive of desperation at Meyhu and BARELY made it
Hood: Yep but he’s back in it! That is if he didn’t blow out both knees
Smith: Indeed
~Vargas rolls onto his back, bringing both knees up and grabbing them. Meyhu is holding the back of his head. Fans surround the two. Vargas is the first to attempt to get up. He stumbles around and limps heavily. He curses and pushes fans away. Meyhu sits up…the champ is still dazed from all the head shots he’s taken. Vargas contemplates kicking Meyhu in the head but his knees hurt too much. He throws his hands in the direction of the champ and heads for the exit. He shoves fans out of the way, nearing his destination. Vargas reaches security. He punches both security guards in the head for fun. He tosses the metal detector out of the way. He pauses, hearing the screams from the outside. A gust of wind blows in…it feels nice. The doors are open, awaiting his exit~
Smith: He’s a few feet away from sending this into the third and final match!
Hood: QUIT STOPPING! JUST WALK THROUGH
Smith: You’re nervous?
Hood: I watched a marathon of horror movies last night. YOU NEVER STOP MOVING
~Vargas takes his first step toward potential immortality when a giant hand snares his blonde hair!! The hand is red with blood stains. It instantly alters the pure blonde hair of The Confederate Icon, giving it a light red tone. Vargas turns around with an ‘Oh Shit’ look. The Champ…The Marvel…THE MAN has risen! Vargas reaches up to grab Meyhu’s battered face. But the Marvel responds with a knee into Chad’s groin!! The crowd groans along with Vargas. He’s injured. It’s not looking good. Meyhu hooks Vargas for a powerbomb~
Smith: A powerbomb! This would be it
Hood: Yea…he can powerbomb Vargas and then crawl out if he wants
Smith: Indeed
~Meyhu hoists Vargas up, ready to drill him into the unforgiving floor as hard as he can, putting his final STAMP on this match. Vargas, drops a downward elbow strike into Meyhu’s face! We see a spurt of blood shoot up! Meyhu stumbles. Vargas wraps his legs around Meyhu’s head and he twists backward with a Frankensteiner! It’s slow and sloppy…but it works! He tosses Meyhu ahead…but Meyhu is moving toward the exit!!~
Smith: A reversal by Vargas…but look! Meyhu might fly out of the Mortuary!
Hood: WEAK ASS POSITIONING!
~Vargas was standing diagonal toward the door. So Meyhu isn’t moving in a straight line. He tumbles toward the exit…but keeps moving to the left and SLAMS into the side, right next to the opened doorway. The crowd is stunned. Vargas turns around upon hearing the impact and realizes the sense of urgency. He crawls as fast as he can and exits the Mortuary!!! The few remaining Vargas fans cheer while the rest of the crowd goes silent~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of the Escape The Mortuary Match…“THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS!!!!!
~Vargas stands outside the Mortuary. He looks over at the digital clock…then ahead at the animatronic gargoyles. He holds his arms up and yells for the second time that evening “KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!”~
Belvedere: With Chad Vargas winning the second portion of this match that means we will now head into the third and final portion. This is a BURIED ALIVE MATCH. The first person to drop their opponent inside an open grave and cover them with dirt will win and leave tonight as the OCW Champion!!
~The crowd cheers. Vargas regains his focus. He wipes some of the sweat and blood away from his forehead and upper lip. He heads back to the Mortuary. Meyhu is seated up against the wall near the doorway. Vargas grabs him by the hair and drags him outside, on the front porch. The bell rings~
Smith: It’s sudden death, Hood!
Hood: We might see an actual death if this thing goes much longer
Smith: Let’s hope not! Meyhu is in bad shape. Vargas seems to have more energy…I’d give him the edge at this point
Hood: I honestly have no idea who’s going to win, Smith. Both these guys are fucking psycho
~Vargas peppers Meyhu with some right hands. The Marvel staggers up against the exterior wall near the front door. Vargas reaches up and snares the countdown clock! He jams it into Meyhu’s gut! Meyhu stumbles forward and falls down the stairs, down into the front walkway. Fans rush out of the way, giving the champion room. Vargas gets behind one of the gargoyles and starts to push. He’s trying to knock it over on top of the champ. Fans look up in horror as the Confederate Icon is gaining momentum. He’s got it leaning forward. It’s about to tip over…and it finally does!! The champ rolls away just in time as the gargoyle hits the ground and shatters into several pieces! The crowd cheers…maybe because they hate gargoyles. Vargas stands atop part of the tipped over macabre accoutrement and looks to see if Meyhu is dead. He is not. He is simply on his back, wincing in pain. Vargas curses and gingerly steps down, going back after Meyhu~
Smith: We are so fortunate that gargoyle did not land on top of Meyhu
Hood: Another OCW event and another attempted murder – no big deal
Smith: The champion is beaten down. I haven’t seen him like this since joining OCW. Chad Vargas is unleashing all that pent up rage and anger and, well, it’s working
Hood: If you’ve got hate in your heart – let it out!
~Vargas snares the CHAMP by the hair and drags him around the front of The Mortuary, to the side, heading for the cemetery. The Confederate Icon sees the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. The title is within grasp! They reach the gate to the cemetery. Vargas kicks it open and hurls Meyhu through it. The Marvel falls forward, tumbling into the cemetery. Fans try to pour in but Vargas slams the gate shut. OCW security surrounds the entrance to keep fans from entering. Most of the graves are above ground due to the ground being below sea level~
Smith: Not your traditional looking cemetery. Most graves are above ground
Hood: Makes a good argument for being burnt alive
Smith: Huh?
Hood: You know, cremated
Smith: They aren’t cremated ALIVE you idiot
Hood: Oh, they aren’t?
Smith: NO
Hood: Makes my decision a hell of a lot easier, then
~Meyhu reaches out, snaring the side of a grave. He uses it to try and get to his feet. He leans against it. It’s long, skinny and appears to be made out of cement. Vargas charges forward with a clothesline! Meyhu flips over the grave, landing on the other side. Vargas limps around the grave, keeping a laser like focus on the champion. He pulls Meyhu up and grabs him by the back of the head. He attempts to ram him face first into the grave…but Meyhu blocks it with his foot. He throws a sharp elbow into Chad’s ribs. Vargas backs away, holding his ribcage. Meyhu leans forward, resting over the grave. Vargas curses, holding his impacted ribs. He spots an open grave…the only grave actually penetrating the earth. A headstone residing at the ‘head’ of the grave reads “Clientele vs. Aptitude”. Vargas smiles and turns around to grab Meyhu~
Smith: Symbolism…a bit thick, but symbolism nonetheless
Hood: That’s symbolic of CJ O’Donnell being gone from OCW?
Smith: No, not really. It’s symbolic of this match putting a definitive end to the Aptitude and Clientele feud that has consumed the main event scene for nearly two years
Hood: Ah, gotcha
~Vargas snares Meyhu by the waist and drags him away from the grave. Meyhu tries to break free but he has very little energy. Chad is basically rag dolling the champ toward the open grave. There is a giant wheel barrow of dirt nearby to dump on the loser. They near the grave…Meyhu gets a glance at where they are heading and fights with more urgency. He throws his head back, smacking Vargas in the nose! Vargas loosens his grip. Meyhu is able to break the grip…he grabs Vargas by the arm and tosses him away with an arm drag. Vargas flips over and lands into the side of a cement grave! His shoulder bangs into it hard. He holds his shoulder, wincing in pain while The Marvel sits up and continues to nurse his injuries. He’s not far from the open grave~
Smith: And they have reached the gravesite. One man will go in and the other man will walk away OCW Champion
Hood: Meyhu’s closest to the grave…in more ways than one
Smith: Yes the champ is in bad shape. But as we’ve seen throughout his entire OCW tenure…the man simply cannot be counted out
Hood: So you’re saying the guy has never lost via count out?
Smith: Not literally!
~Vargas returns to his feet while Meyhu remains seated. The Confederate Icon stumbles toward the champion determined to put him six…maybe seven feet under! He grabs Meyhu by the hair. Meyhu responds with a low blow!! Vargas doubles over! The crowd surrounding the cemetery give a surprisingly positive ovation. Meyhu returns to his feet, looking down over Vargas. Blood drips from his pummeled face, both eyes are nearly swollen shut. He hooks Vargas around the waist and positions him in front of the grave. Meyhu looks into the grave and sees a very wet, muddy bottom, dark bottom~
Smith: The Marvel has risen! This may be it!
Hood: No way would ANYBODY put me down in something like that. That’s fucking nasty and, well, kinda scary
Smith: I think that’s why people hate being buried alive, Hood
Hood: Yea I’d say it’s in almost everybody’s top ten list of things they wish to never experience
~Meyhu hoists Vargas up. Chad looks over his shoulder and sees the open grave. He panics and claws at Meyhu’s battered face! The Marvel stumbles back. Vargas lands on his feet, inches from falling into the grave. He kicks Meyhu in the head, sending the Marvel to his knees. Vargas heads for the wheel barrow and locates a shovel leaning against it. He takes the shovel near Meyhu and swings it, bashing The Marvel in the back! The shovel breaks in half over Meyhu’s back!!! Meyhu falls to all fours and he crawls from the front to the side of the grave. Vargas follows. He hits Meyhu with his half of the shoves. He hits him again and again and again. Meyhu continues to try and rise up after each hit. Vargas looks around, frustrated~
Smith: Vargas can’t keep The Marvel down! Nobody can!
Hood: This guy is fucking amazing
Smith: I think The Confederate Icon is having some serious doubts
~Vargas grows tired of beating Meyhu with the shovel He tosses it aside. The Marvel is wobbling and shaking, trying to get to his feet. He’s on one knee. Vargas charges forward. Meyhu is near the side of the grave. Vargas is set on running into Meyhu and knocking him in the grave. Meyhu, though, gets to his feet, he ducks and he lifts Vargas in the air with a backbody drop!!! Vargas flies over the grave, landing on the other side, near the wheel barrow. Meyhu falls back to a knee. He looks over and lowers his head in disappointment~
Smith: I think the champ thought that would do it…but Vargas flew too far
Hood: Vargas has flown more tonight than his entire OCW career combined
Smith: He has pulled everything out he can possibly think of to win this match. He’s left nothing on the table
~Meyhu struggles to his feet. He stands at the edge of the grave. He sways toward the grave for a moment. The fans scream and yell with fright. But the champ manages to retain his footing while regaining his balance. He turns and heads back toward the foot of the grave. Vargas sits up with wide eyes as if to say “That was too fucking close.” He gets to his feet and hobbles toward the foot of the grave. He meets Meyhu there and throws a punch. Meyhu blocks it! Meyhu throws a punch. Vargas blocks it! Vargas leans in with a head butt! This staggers The Marvel. Vargas kicks Meyhu in the gut. He drives and elbow into the back of Meyhu’s head. He snares Meyhu by the back of the neck and tries throwing him into the grave but Meyhu resists~
Smith: One of these men are about to go into that grave! The OCW Title hangs in the balance!
Hood: Ah shit man…I think the champ is going in
Smith: It looks that way…can the champ rise one more time to defeat the toughest challenger he’s faced to date?
~Vargas can’t get Meyhu in! His resistance is too strong. He stands Meyhu back up and goes after his wounded face once more. Meyhu yells out in pain. His legs weaken. Vargas throws a knee into Meyhu’s gut, nearly crippling the man. He hooks him for THE STROKE. They are facing the grave. Vargas, though, is standing in front of ground whereas Meyhu is looking down into the grave~
Smith: He’s going to toss him into the grave via The Stroke!
Hood: A fitting end
~Vargas tries to execute the move but he can’t! Meyhu is resisting. Vargas tries and tries but Meyhu is too strong. His championship will is too much. Vargas reaches over to grab at Meyhu’s face again, but Meyhu says ‘fuck this’ and leans in with a head butt! It probably does as much damage to him as it does to Vargas but the champ doesn’t care. Vargas is reeling. He lets go of the champ. The champ stands upright…he’s battered, he’s bloodied, he should probably be on his way to the hospital. But he stands as tall as ever. He throws stiff right hands into the head of Vargas. Vargas wobbles. He staggers. He throws a weak punch at Meyhu that is blocked! Meyhu kicks Vargas in the gut! The Confederate Icon doubles over. Meyhu straightens him back up and grabs Vargas by a handful of The Confederate Icon’s blood stained hair. Vargas looks up at the champion and says “FUCK YOU” giving him the middle finger. Meyhu thrusts Chad’s head down into a knee. He then hooks him for the Ego Trip and falls backwards, throwing Vargas into the grave!!! Vargas falls face first down into the deep, dark, muddy grave. The crowd goes wild! The champ is on his back, staring up into the New Orleans sky. A man approaches dressed like the Grim Reaper. He grabs the wheel barrow by the handles, tips it over and dumps all the dirt on top of Chad Vargas!! The bell rings and the fans surrounding the cemetery and inside the Mortuary cheer~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….AND STILL OCW CHAMPION…“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: He did it! The Marvel did it! That man is simply unbeatable!
Hood: Vargas gave it his all. Man that guy wanted this match more than any in his OCW career and he STILL couldn’t defeat Meyhu
Smith: Meyhu was beaten…he was bloodied…he was zapped of everything a wrestler needs to compete and he STILL rose to the challenge. Who can defeat this man? I think we have our answer – nobody.
Hood: Yep if the Vargas we saw tonight can’t do it, I don’t know who can
~Scruff comes running into the cemetery with the OCW Title. Meyhu is still on his back, exhausted. The Grim Reaper cuts Scruff off, grabbing the OCW Title from him. He shoves Scruff away~
Smith: Hmm…this Grim Reaper guy seems to be overstepping his bounds
Hood: Yea…who said he could be the one to bury Vargas, anyway?
Smith: Good question. Now he’s got the OCW Title…is this some new character Welsh hired without us knowing?
~The Grim Reaper extends his right hand to Meyhu. Meyhu sees the title in the Reaper’s left hand and takes the Reaper’s right. The Grim Reaper effortlessly yanks Meyhu to his feet, showing great arm strength. Even Meyhu appears a bit surprised by the Reaper’s strength. Meyhu, wobbly and unsteady, reaches for his title. The Reaper extends it. Meyhu grabs onto it but the Reaper won’t let go. The battered face of Meyhu looks at the Reaper with surprise~
Smith: Alright Grim Reaper, let the belt go
Hood: This is why you don’t hand valuables over to the help, Smith. They get sticky fingers
~Meyhu gets more aggressive with trying to yank the title away. This seems to anger the Grim Reaper. He shoves Meyhu back! Meyhu looks up like “WHAT THE FUCK?” Meyhu moves toward the Reaper but is BLASTED in the face with the OCW Title!! The crowd surrounding the cemetery is shocked. Meyhu is on his back. He tries to sit up but the Reaper slams the belt into his face again, knocking the champ out. The Reaper places his foot on the chest of Meyhu and holds the OCW Title high~
Smith: What the…that man dressed as the Grim Reaper just hit our champion with his own belt! Somebody stop this man…he has no right…especially after the ordeal The Marvel just went through!
Hood: Fucking Meyhu can’t catch a break tonight
~With his foot on Meyhu’s chest and the belt held high the Reaper throws his hood back to reveal himself. The crowd shouts out with shock. “HOLY SHIT” chants fill the air as we get a good, clear look at who is underneath the costume~
Smith: Hood! It’s Scott Syren!!
Hood: Holy shit he’s back! He’s back!
Smith: Is he challenging Meyhu for the OCW Title?
Hood: That’s what it looks like! If there’s one person in OCW history who could defeat The Marvel it’s that man…it’s Scott Mother Fucking Syren!
Smith: I can’t believe this! I thought he was finished after the Mix finals
Hood: Apparently all this talk of Meyhu being the greatest coaxed him out of retirement
Smith: Oh man…if we get this match…can you imagine? The greatest star from OCW’s old era versus the greatest star from OCW’s new era. What a match!
Hood: So, are we getting it?
Smith: It’s looking like we won’t know until next Monday! We’re out of time!
Hood: Fuck!
Smith: For Hood, I’m Smith…we hope you enjoyed Serial Thrillers! We’ll see you next Monday when we’re back in Key West for Massacre! Goodnight everyone!
~We get one final shot of Scott Syren holding the OCW Title high while standing over an unconscious, battered Matt Meyhu. We fade to black~