Wednesday, August 4th, 2021
Taped from the OCW Studio
Episode #12
~And we’re back...another episode of PILEDRIVER is set to tickle our fancies and pleasure our senses. Wednesday’s have never felt so good...ya know, aside from that time period in our younger days when we’d frequent the seedy strip club and receive twenty dollar hand jobs while enjoying delicious strips of beef fajita meat. Speaking of, we get an ad for Taco Cabana. A place we used to hit up all the time back in the day...now...are they even still around? This ad would seem to indicate they are. Might have to seek one out and eat some decadent nachos while pounding back a few Coronas. The OCW logo hits the screen. It fades away and that groovy intro begins to play, indicating you’re in the right spot. It’s Wednesday Night Piledriver!! Cheasy M taps his favorite pencil against the desk in rhythm with the tune-age. He nods his head, before the lights turn up and he focuses on the lens~
Cheasy M: Hello OCW fans and welcome to another episode of Piledriver!
~The mood suddenly shifts. The sound of liquid pouring and swishing around a giant glass intoxicates our auditory senses. The lights shift from a bright yellowish hue into a mishmashed deep sky blue and rockin pink combination. Cheasy leans under his desk and emerges wearing a pair of 80s shades and waving a can of pre-mixed margarita around in his right hand~
Cheasy M: You see this? You hear THAT?
~Margaritaville begins to play~
Cheasy M: That’s right, fans! The MIX begins TONIGHT!
~Cheasy takes a sip of his pre-made margarita in a can. His eyes instantly shut as his face puckers up like an inmates asshole during his first shower session~
Cheasy M: Four first round Mix matches airing tonight! I can’t wait! Superstars such as Chris Madison, Talia Areano, Ricky Rodriguez, Father Thyme, Tara Fenix, Vicky Stone, Brett Daniels, Bradley Carrington, and Sebastian Grey will adorn your television set!
~Cheasy takes another sip. Again, his face does the butthole pucker. He tosses the can over his head, it hits the wall, sending cheap, sour margarita juice everywhere~
Cheasy M: And we’ll get to those shortly!
~Who’Re’s voice is heard off camera~
Who’Re: You’re gonna clean that up!
~Cheasy’s eyes widen~
Cheasy M: Err...well, it looks like we’re gonna go ahead and get to the Mix right now! Ladies and Gentlemen, sit back and enjoy some mid-week in-ring, mid-month OCW action...The Mix officially kicks off as we take you to exclusive footage of Vicky Stone and Dadbod taking on Tara Fenix and Victor Malvado!
~Cheasy is thrown a towel and some Clorox wipes. He sulks and heads to clean up his mess as we cut to MIX ACTION~
We cut to the magical narrator who is here to explain what went down in these Mix matches. Let’s go, now, to the magical narrator who is both wise and sexy and virile in the ways of bringing pleasure to women all over the globe.
Alright, so let’s see what happened here. Okay so Vicky Stone came out first. The crowd went very wild. Stone looked happy to be there. Several men stood in the front row, more than normal. The Stone effect, I’m sure. She reached the ring...at ringside a bunch of people were wearing rain coats. Probably in fear of getting hit with piss bags.
Dadbod was next. He was sporting jean shorts, a pair of new balance tennis shoes, and an oversized nike t-shirt. Cautiously, he reached the ring, hesitant to high five people. His wife, Trina was at ringside, telling him to man up and act like a star. Their daughter appeared to be afraid of her mother. Dadbod entered the ring and stared at Vicky’s breasts.
Victor Malvado was out next. He received a solid ovation. A decent amount of cubans in the crowd, showing respect to someone who speaks spanish. I’m not really sure if that’s racist or not...if it is, the narrator apologizes. Hector was nowhere to be seen. An effort to prevent any heightened sense of separation anxiety. Victor reached the ring and began loosening up.
Tara Fenix was out next. She got the biggest pop of the four. It was clear the moment she emerged from behind the curtain that Tara was a star. Marching down the ring, she high fived as many fans as she was able before sliding into the ring and sizing up her opponents. She quickly conferred with Victor...the two exchanging more sign language than actual words. Overcoming the barrier.
Vicky and Tara started off. This drew a strong ovation from the crowd. Tara gained the early advantage...to the surprise of nobody. However, Vicky soon flipped the script with some erratic maneuvers that caught Fenix off guard. Attempting to regain control, Fenix hoisted Stone on her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry...but Stone wiggled free, hit the mat and took Stone down with a spinning heel kick. Stone motioned to the crowd...they ducked, fearing she might throw piss at them.
Stone stayed on the offensive, brawling Fenix around the ring, hitting the occasional kick. She attempted a pin, snaring a two count. Vicky whipped Tara into the ropes...Victor reached out, slapping Tara on the back, becoming the legal man. Unaware, Vicky snared Fenix for a Fallaway Slam...before being able to execute the move, Victor performed a springboard dropkick, smacking Vicky in the face. Fenix fell on top of Vicky before rolling out of the ring.
Malvado picked Vicky apart for the next few minutes before tagging a refreshed Fenix back into the match. At this point, the duo worked extremely well as a team, keeping Vicky quarantined and subdued. Stone kicked out of numerous pin attempts, showing the fight and will to survive.
Eventually, Vicky surprised a flying Malvado with a stunner. Stumbling back, Victor fell through the ropes, landing on the apron. Vicky crawled and crawled...finally able to make the all-important tag to Dadbod!! For the first time in Barker’s life, more than two people cheered his arrival. Dadbod entered the ring...Fenix stepped through the ropes, sensing trouble, only to get steamrolled by Dadbod and his soft but stern physique.
Dadbod pulled Malvado back into the ring and hit him with a DDT. He then hooked Malvado around the waist and proceeded to give him not one, not two, but THREE German Suplexes in a row! He bridged the final into a pin...but Victor kicked out right before three! The crowd was on their feet...a DADBOD chant filling the arena. Barker reached his feet and went for the ropes...he leaned over the top rope gasping for air. His Dadbod was beginning to give out. Trina yelled at him to man up. Vicky left her post and threw her breasts in his face (accidentally), trying to get him to wake up. Trina didn’t like this...perhaps a potential feud between the two began to brew.
The boobs worked. A rejuvenated Barker turned to go after Victor...he was small packaged. A near three count! Dadbod tried to get to his feet, but Victor beat him there, sending him flying with a hurricanrana. A victim of disorientation, Victor sent Dadbod into his corner. Vicky tagged in immediately.
Malvado tumbled forward, tagging Fenix. The crowd popped. Fenix and Stone brawled. Stone gained the advantage due to her wild, untamed style.
The match reached a crescendo when Fenix shocked Vicky with superkick!! After spinning a dazed Vicky around, Fenix attempted ‘Heaven’s Fury’...a running bulldog. But Stone elbowed Fenix in the gut! She hooked Fenix’s head!! The crowd rose, ready for Vicky to hit STONED (Stunner)! But Tara blasted Vicky in the kidneys with a wicked forearm! Stone staggered forward...Fenix spun her around, hooker her, jumped up and dropped Vicky on her head with Phoenix Wings!!!! The crowd popped huge! Fenix hooked the leg! Dadbod tried to get into the ring, but tripped over the middle rope. Scruff slid in and hit the mat for the 1, 2, and 3!!!! The bell rang.
Malvado hopped over the top rope, ready to strike Dadbod. Barker crawled toward Stone. Fenix reached her feet...she headed over to Victor and the two embraced, thrilled over their hard fought victory. They exited to a strong ovation.
Dadbod showed concern for Vicky...but his wife, Trina Barker screamed, “DAVID BARKER, YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN RIGHT NOW!” Dadbod rolled out of the ring and hopped the railing, exiting the OCW Arena with an angry wife and a confused daughter.
Match Time: 22:18
Winners: Tara Fenix & Victor Malvado
~We cut back to Cheasy. The Studio is cleaned up~
Cheasy M: Tremendous action! Great win for Tara Fenix and Victor Malvado! I know people were questioning whether Victor could survive without his brother but, if you ask me, he looked totally in his element!
~Cheasy puts on a somber face~
Cheasy M: Unfortunately, happy trails to Vicky and Dadbod. Dadbod was a personal favorite of mine...so it’s disappointing to see him go out in the first round. I just hope his wife, Trina, isn’t too hard on him when they get home. If any of Mr. Barker’s neighbors spot him cleaning out the gutters and, or weedeating the side of the house, give that man a hand!
~Cheasy starts to sweat thinking about the hellacious job that is weedeating~
Cheasy M: And, on that note...let’s cut to commercial!
~We cut away~
~The feed cuts to a large room filled with seats that are empty and in the center is a stage with a podium. The camera slowly zooms in on the unoccupied podium until foot steps can be heard. Walking into frame, TIO walks up onto the stage in business casual clothing, with a smile on his face, and stops behind the podium. He reaches under the podium for a bottle of water, takes a sip, and taps on the microphone attached to the podium.~
TIO: Is this thing on?
~The voice of TIO echoes throughout the room as TIO nods in approval.~
TIO: Wonderful. Let’s get to it shall we? As you all are aware, at House of Cards, I once again demanded a roster spot and a title shot for the OCW Championship, a match that I rightfully deserve as an OCW Hall of Fame member. Due to the efforts of Tony Savage I was signed to OCW, and you’d think getting half of what I asked for, I’d be happy with that, right?
~TIO stops with a grin, opening his arms out and nodding until his expression flips to anger and he points to the camera.~
TIO: Absolutely not! Fuck that! While I was indeed signed to OCW, I was rudely interrupted and then automatically booked in a match to face some washed up XWF loser named James Raven. Is James Raven the OCW Champion? No! So why am I booked against him? Why does he deserve to face yours truly, Mr. Incredible?
~Mr. Incredible stops to take a sip of water before continuing.~
TIO: I thought long and hard all week about whether I should continue with this match. I don’t need to fight unworthy individuals, and frankly, wrestle in matches that are a waste of my time. However, I understand what my name as a whole does to OCW… it prints money. I understand that without me, this PPV will tank. So, I have decided to be the bigger man and accept the match… but, with some required provisions… BUT FIRST!
~TIO stops to drum roll the top of the podium as the lights flicker for effect and a man walks out with a folded shirt. The man unfolds the shirt and reveals the shirt to the camera:~
TIO: Going on sale, NOW, is the limited edition #FuckTIO t-shirt. When I say limited, I mean there will only be 1,000 of these suckers being sold for the generous price of $99.99, with all proceeds going towards the upcoming medical bills of James Raven. Once again, a phrase I have coined goes viral and now, you too can own a piece of history while helping a fellow wrestler soon in need!
~The man is waved off by TIO as TIO clears his throat.~
TIO: But yes, the provision. It’s simple really, I have three provisions that must be met in order for this match to go through. The first one is that I get my own private locker room, separate from everyone else in the locker room. And I’m not talking about just for this show, all shows going forward. My locker rooms will also need to be filled with beverages of all kinds; water, soda, energy drinks, alcohol. There will also need to be plates and bowls overflowing with foods of all kinds; meats, fruits, desserts! I will also require my own personal masseuse who can massage me before and after my matches.
The second provision incorporates the theme of the next PPV. It was announced that once the sun goes down, there will be no rules in any of the matches. You might see where this is going… Yes, the next provision is that my match MUST take place only after the sun goes down, so I can do whatever the hell I want to do to James Raven. The third and final provision is very straight forward; once I am declared the winner of my match with James Raven, the next Piledriver I want Who’Re to announce to the world that I am the number one contender to the OCW Championship.
That’s it. Simple, right? I am not a greedy person. I am here simply to ask for what is rightfully mine as one of your OCW Hall of Famers. I won’t take up more of your time. Who’Re, you know how to get a hold of me.
~With that, TIO nods his head and exits the stage, once again leaving the room empty as the camera cuts to commercial.~
~ We cut backstage to see Who'Re and New Greg walking and discussing business. We also want to wish Old Greg a speedy recovery and hope he can kick his Bailey's addiction. Who'Re and N.G, as the cool kids call him, get to her office and they step inside. Who'Re stops talking when she looks at her desk. On top of her paperwork sits a plate of steaming hot, delicious looking sausages. Who'Re's face contorts in rage as she lets out a shriek of absolute anger. Greg slowly starts to back out of the room and bumps into Mike Zybala. Zybala is holding a folder with the "Red Robin" logo on it. Both men let out a grunt when they collide. The noise causes Who'Re to stop screaming and turn to stare down the men. ~
Zybala: Uhhhh.... You seem busy. I'll just talk to you another time..
~Zybala takes off running as we cut back to Cheasy M in the studio. Cheasy is seen talking to someone who is off camera. He realizes we’re back, LIVE and flips his pen in the air. Cheasy spins around and reaches to catch it, but totally misses. The pen nearly stabs him in the eye. BUT, he recovers like a total pro and leans forward, flashing a smile~
Cheasy M: Welcome back, fans! We’re barely ten days removed from House of Cards...a night that saw the roster expand from 8 to 13. One of those new signings, Crash Rodriguez, joined me last week for an exclusive interview. Crash will be facing Ian Dream at Under the Lights on September 6th. So, it would only make sense…
~Cheasy leans back, glancing at the person off camera~
Cheasy M: That this week we’d bring Crash’s opponent, Ian Dream on for his turn at an exclusive interview. And, well, since we’re all about making sense over here at OCW (some people off camera laugh)...we did what the sensible thing. Ladies and gentlemen...here with me, tonight, is Ian Dream!
~Our view pulls out to show that Ian Dream is, indeed, seated to Cheasy's right~
Cheasy M: Ian, my man! Welcome to Piledriver! How are you doing this evening?
Ian Dream: I'm doing pretty well, thank you for having me.
Cheasy M: Absolutely. The pleasure is all mine. Any friend of Thaddeus Duke is a friend of mine. You can ask Thad...we're buds. Very good buds. Speaking of Thad...how did you and Thad wind up together? Did he reach out to you? Did you reach out to him? What brought two prodigious talents such as yourselves together?
Ian Dream: Actually, Thad reached out to me. I was training at The Slaughterhouse Gym, he just showed up and he reached out to me.
~Cheasy looks impressed~
Cheasy M: Wow, he must have liked what he saw to seek you out. Thad's got very particular and exceptional taste. Now, you're father, Daniel Dream, is a pro wrestling legend. Tell us a little bit about your dad and what it's like being the son of a man of his stature.
Ian Dream: Oh wow. Uh, it's actually a big shadow to come out of. My dad is super supportive and actually paid for me to do some training in Japan, he was training me at The Slaughterhouse Gym when Thad reached out to me, he helped me find myself as a wrestler and was there for my wrestling exams back when I was wrestling for Softball Academy. I just want to do as Thad said and not just be known as "Daniel's kid"
~Cheasy nods, understandingly~
Cheasy M: That makes sense. Given that you're both second-generation talents...does that create a natural bond between the two of you? Is it something both you and Thad lean on when working together?
Ian Dream: I think there's certainly a bond shared by us being second-generation talents, we're both really young. But I don't think Thad sees me as a "second-generation talent", I think he just sees me as Ian which is something I really apperciate. Thad doesn't just see the last name.
Cheasy M: Gotcha. The best way to step out of a shadow is by entering the light, leaving it behind. What were your thoughts when Thad informed you he'd secured a spot for ya on the OCW roster?
Ian Dream: First it was shock, like am I actually getting scouted out by a wrestler? That's such a honor, so I guess the second thought was 'I'm honored', but my third thought was if I was ready. I think I looked at my dad but, as I said, he's super supportive but I'm pretty sure he was nervous about trusting me to someone else as my father. My final thought was 'I'm ready' and I left The Slaughterhouse Gym to talk to Thad about the details outside.
~Cheasy leans back, thinking~
Cheasy M: Yep. But you know the old theory...best way to learn is through trial and error. Toss em out into the deep end, kick the bird out of the next...only way they'll learn to fly. And, well, the water doesn't get any deeper than OCW. In most promotions you'd debut against some type of enhancement talent or a jobber to the stars...but not here. You're facing a very hungry, very talented, very determined competitor in Crash Rodriguez. What are your thoughts on Crash and how do you feel about facing him in your debut?
Ian Dream: I think Crash will provide a good test for me in OCW, testing the waters. You said OCW is like being tossed into the deep end but I feel like this is being tossed into the deep end with a life preserver. The first OCW match that I saw live, up-close and personal was Ed Houston vs Thad. So I'm thinking 'I want to fight guys like that' but I feel like this is an adequate warm-up, no offense to Crash. But I'm here in OCW to make a big splash.
~Cheasy smiles, tapping the table with his knuckles~
Cheasy M: That's the spirit. Never settle for anything less than the top! Looking over the roster, is there any name in particular you'd like to face at some point during your OCW career?
Ian Dream: Ooh. In a friendly match, Thad. I think out of the names on the roster that I'd like to face seriously, I think Ed Houston, just to see if I measure up to Thad in that match they had. See how I compare. Wrestling is all about comparing yourself.
Cheasy M: I agree...watching the best perform and gaining ideas based off their performances. There's nothing wrong with a little 'borrowing' here and there...all the great ones do it. And I think an Ian Dream/Ed Houston match would be tremendous. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if you and Ed win at Under the Lights...that match is very, very likely to happen. Speaking of Under the Lights...how do you feel about being in the opening match for a show of this magnitude? Any nerves?
Ian Dream: Ooh, I always get a little nervous before a show. It's about comparing yourself like I said, and you don't want to go out there and look bad. But I think experience is going to help me, I've been out in front of live crowds before so it's not like I'm going to get stage fright or anything.
~Cheasy slaps his desk, looking thrilled~
Cheasy M: I'm telling ya, Ian. I like what I'm hearing. You might be young, but you seem to have the right attitude. I'm anxious to watch that first promo of yours...probably the one I'm looking forward to the most this week! Now, before we wrap things up...why don't you let the OCW fans watching what you hope to accomplish during your tenure here. What can they expect when they see Ian Dream appear on OCW Television?
Ian Dream: I'm hoping to accomplish winning my first ever championship here, whether it's the Savage Championship or Paradigm Championship or Craze Championship. Maybe I'll form a tag team with Thad when he's not busy and we win the Tag Team Championships. But I believe if you're not trying to be the best, you should go home. Because I plan on being a World Champion.
~Cheasy claps his hands together and points at Ian~
Cheasy M: And THAT, my friends, is why this man is going to be a star! Ian Dream, everybody...one of the up and comers of this industry and he's signed, exclusively to OCW. Ian, thank you for coming on the show and the best of luck to you against Crash on September 6th!
Ian Dream: Thank you for having me.
Cheasy M: Ian Dream, everyone! And with that, we'll head to commercial break...but, stick around...there'll be more of Piledriver when we come back!
~We cut to commercial~
~ We cut backstage of Piledriver. We see the Crazed Champion Peter Vaughn walking the halls. Where is he going? That's none of your business. As he walks, someone calls his name. Vaughn stops and turns to see Mike Zybala, holding an envelope. He holds up the envelope at eye level. ~
Zybala: I got something for you.
~Vaughn raises up the metal sign in his right hand. It looks like one of those two-sided Wet Floor signs, but you don’t see too many constructed like this.~
Vaughn: I’ve got something for you as well.
~ Zybala jumps back holding his hands up in a defensive position. ~
Zybala: Jesus Christ! I have an invite for you! Put that down you nut!
~ Zybala holds out the envelope towards Vaughn, who looks at it for a few seconds before finally grabbing it. He backs off, presumably out of Superkick range, getting his sign ready again while not opening the envelope.~
Vaughn: What is it?
Zybala: It's a formal invite to the next Dystopia for the inaugural Hall of Fame induction. Not all the votes are in yet, but it stands to reason that you would be the first choice; being the only 3 time world champ and all. Online Championship Wrestling may have dropped the ball with the awards last month, but Outsiders recognizes true talent.
~ Zybala takes a slow step backwards, not wanting to provoke Vaughn in this precarious situation. Vaughn looks at the envelope again. ~
Zybala: Of course you would be paid for the appearance.
~The temptation of an award like that, even from Zybala, is clear on Vaughn’s face. He puts the envelope in his side pocket, treating it carefully.~
Vaughn: I’ll let you know… Mike.
~Vaughn turns away, hoisting his sign up again as he departs. Zybala watches him go, a genuine smile on his face. We cut to commercial~
Ohhhhkay...it’s time for some more MIX action. Which match are we at? Oh yea, one of the more intriguing matches of the evening. A combination that features a total unknown, a familiar face with unfinished business, a pro wrestling prodigy looking to re-establish her family’s name, and The Most Famous Man Who Ever Lived – Bradley Carrington. If you don’t believe it, just ask him.
Iraq Nid was out first. The women in the crowd hissed and booed. They clearly found his anachronistic, archaic thinking loathsome – anathema, even. Nid didn’t care. He was clearly a man of self belief. Sauntering to the ring, the Sand Spider took everything the crowd could throw at him (in some cases literally) and reached the ring without missing a beat.
His partner, Talia was out next. She got a strong ovation from the OCW diehards. It became very clear, very quickly that this crowd desperately wished to see Talia succeed...even IF it meant dragging that mouth breather, Nid along for the ride. Talia reached the ring and paid her partner as little attention as possible.
McBride was next. The fans watched with great interest as the motivated, generational star hustled down the ramp, sliding into the ring and popping to her feet, fired up and ready to MIX it up with her opponents.
And, finally, we got OCW veteran Bradley Carrington. Upon arrival, he received a strong ovation from the fans...a familiar face returning always gets a positive reaction. However, once he paused on stage and revealed his BOOK. The fans began to remember...and the boos returned. Carrington tried to hush them as he flipped through the pages, but they would not quiet down. With a strong roll of the eyes, he slammed his book shut and made his way to the ring.
McBride was eager to start the match, but Bradley would not hear it. Seriously. He straight up ignored her wishes and remained in the ring. Frustrated, McBride took a spot on the apron. Nid screamed and yelled at Talia to get out of the ring. Areano grew flustered and frustrated. Scruff walked over, trying to get the two to come to some sort of agreement.
Like McBride, Talia took the apron. But that wasn’t enough for Iraq. He demanded she stand on the floor, acting as his manager, or valet. Talia was insulted. She stepped back through the ropes. This drew ‘oohs’ from the crowd. Iraq talked down to her...so, Talia kicked him in the balls and threw his ass through the ropes, to the outside. This drew a HUGE pop from the fans. Even Bianca was impressed enough to toss Areano a nod of approval.
Scruff went with it and called for the bell. The match began. Talia crouched and headed toward Bradley, who was busy reading from the pages of his auto-biography. It’s been awhile, but this narrator believes the book is called, “How To Be The Best At Everything – The Bradley Carrington Story.”
It didn’t take long for Talia to realize Bradley wasn’t paying attention...too engrossed with the extravagant, poetic, and beautiful words streaming the 1700 pages of his literary masterpiece. So, she rushed ahead and threw him down with an arm drag, sending his book flying from the ring to the outside.
Areano used this window of opportunity to keep the larger, stunned Carrington down, applying a variety of arm bars, chin holds, and front face locks, wearing The Professor out. Bianca watched on, concerned. A theory began to permeate throughout the OCW Arena – was Bradley Carrington over the hill? Too rusty for competition? It certainly started to look that way.
Carrington was thrown into Talia’s corner via a hurricanrana. Areano stayed after him when Irag Nid reappeared, angrier than ever. He reached in and backhanded Talia across the face. Scruff had no choice but to signal that a tag had been made. The fans booed. Irag fought through the ropes, picked Talia up and tossed her over the top rope to the floor where she landed with a terrible thud. More boos.
Nid told the fans to shut up, before going back to work on Carrington. Nid kept Bradley locked down with a variety of stiff strikes, pummeling the Professor into near submission. He attempted a pin, garnering a two count. Frustrated, Nid looked to amp things up. He attempted a short arm clothesline, only for Bradley to duck and catch Iraq with a neck breaker! The fans popped – yes, even for Carrington. Iraq is that shitty.
Carrington slowly made his way to the outstretched hand of McBride. Nid finally came to and tried to stop it...but Bradley made the tag!! Bianca charged into the ring and went after Nid, pummeling him with everything she had. The Arena was ON FIRE. “BIANCA!” chants resounded throughout every crevice and chamber within the structure housing the pro wrestling event.
With Nid reeling, Bianca sought to single handily send her team into the second round. She kicked Nid in the gut and hooked him for Wail Number Two! But, Nid had done his research...he bullied McBride into his corner. Bianca slammed forearm after forearm into his back, but his shoulder remained jammed into her midsection, pinning her against the buckles and crushing her abdomen. Bianca was having trouble drawing a simple breath.
Finally, Talia emerged and slapped Nid’s back, re-entering the match. She yanked Nid away from McBride and offered some choice words. Nid spat on Talia. Areano would have none of this, unleashing a flurry of punches, sending Nid reeling into the ropes. McBride, smart enough to not get in the middle of this quarrel, stumbled toward her corner and tagged Carrington back into the match!
Bradley slid his way through the ropes, into the ring. He stood back. Areano drilled Nid in the face, sending him through the ropes, onto the apron. She sprinted across the ring, hit the ropes, fired off and dropkicked Nid off the apron and into the barricade!!! Nid hit hard!! Several women in the front row began to beat him with their purses.
Talia looked into the camera, smiling. Feeling pretty fuckin good about herself.
Which was precisely the moment Bradley nearly decapitated her with a Bomaye Knee!!! Talia flipped inside out, landing on the mat, awkwardly. Carrington quickly applied The Cornell Clutch (Triangle Choke)!! The warrior inside Talia would not tap out. She refused to relent. Ultimately, her body gave out and Scruff called for the bell.
Bianca entered the ring and checked on Talia. Carrington soared over the top rope, to the floor, sticking the landing. He found his book and told everyone in the front row that the price per volume had just gone up fifty percent. Nobody really cared.
He made his way up the ramp, flipping through the pages. Talia came to, finally. Bianca helped her up and extended a hand. An upset, disappointed Talia took a moment. But, ultimately, sportsmanship prevailed as she took Bianca’s hand and wished her well moving forward. The crowd popped for the good show.
Match Time: 19:17
Winners: Bianca McBride & Bradley Carrington
~We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Whew...what a match! Really thought Talia was going to pull it out for a minute there. Shame she got stuck with such a crappy partner.
~Cheasy acts sad. But he perks up very quickly...almost as though he wasn’t really sad~
Cheasy M: BUT, that’s the risk you take when you enter THE MIX! Congratulations are in order for Bianca McBride and Bradley Carrington...a hard fought victory and a well earned second round birth. Carrington looked as good as ever and McBride proved that she’s going to be a force throughout this entire tournament.
~Cheasy shifts his positioning, the camera follows~
Cheasy M: Alright, moving along...it’s time for this week’s PROMO REVIEW segment with Leo! Leo the High School Intern joins us pretty much EVERY week to discuss the latest promos from the official OCW roster. So, let’s see how Leo is doing…
~Our view pans out to show LEO! He’s looking as broke as ever. But, you wouldn’t know it by his posture and disposition...Leo acts as if he’s lead anchor for Sportscenter...back when, ya know, people actually watched that fuckin show~
Cheasy M: Leo! My man...what’s happening?
~Cheasy gives Leo a playful punch in the shoulder. Leo’s body braces for impact. His eyes narrow and a sideways glance tells us he doesn’t appreciate Cheasy disrespecting his personal space~
Leo the High School Intern: Cheasy. Good to see you.
Cheasy M: We missed ya last week, man! What have you got for us? I hear we started off with a BANG but things have been relatively quiet since…
Leo the High School Intern: That’s pretty accurate. While most of the wrestling world has been focused on the Mix...the promo window for Under the Lights has been kinda under the radar.
Cheasy M: Well, that’s what you’re here for, Leo. Hit us with some info!
Leo the High School Intern: Betsy Granger kicked things off by breaking an OCW record, I think. Thirty seconds after the window opened, Betsy was on the board.
Cheasy M: Thirty seconds?! Holy smokes!
Leo the High School Intern: Yep. There’d been rumors that Besty was keyed up to face Mack again and, well, they weren’t wrong. Granger fired first and didn’t miss. She made her intentions very, very clear...she craves revenge against Mack O’Connor. The loss she suffered against him earlier this year for the GCWA Title still eats away at her. She’s extremely eager to even up the score with one of pro wrestling’s best.
Cheasy M: Has anything changed? Why should we expect a different result?
Leo the High School Intern: Experience. Betsy has more experience now than she did the first time she faced Mack. She’s admitted she was in over her head...she didn’t heed the advice veterans like Shawn Warstein offered her. And, it cost her. But, she’s stronger and she’s smarter...the experience she’s gained over the year has enhanced her entire repertoire. She firmly believes that, this time, she won’t miss...she’ll give Mack the best shot she’s got. Something she feels she failed to do in their first match.
Cheasy M: And what’s she up to, aside from dreaming about slapping Mack around?
Leo the High School Intern: She’s beaming with pride over her TransAtlantic Championship. She’s blissful within her relationship with James Raven. Everything seems perfect in Betsy’s world right now. I’d say, she’s living her best life.
Cheasy M: It’s usually at this point in the story when something bad happens...where’s that dreaded BUT
Leo the High School Intern: I mean, there did appear to be someone lurking in the shadows when she arrived at the OCW Arena for House of Cards...but it could have just been one of the homeless vagrants that are known to hang around the OCW parking lot. I’m not too worried about it...and she doesn’t seem to be, either.
Cheasy M: Hopefully she remains focused and keeps her eye on the prize. It’s great when life is THAT good...but good times often portend a turbulent future.
~Leo nods~
Cheasy M: I’m told Outcast has already dropped a promo for Under the Lights. What’s the old man got to say? Does he still look like the elephant man?
Leo the High School Intern: Yes, he did. And he appears to be healing...physically, anyway. Emotionally, he’s still torn up. He expected vengeance to bring about closure. Instead, it’s only enhanced the regret he feels over the death of his ex-wife.
Cheasy M: Man. Not great to be all torn up like that heading into the biggest match of his career.
Leo the High School Intern: Nope. But perhaps visiting her grave expedited the quest for closure.
Cheasy M: At the very least, he got some nice, quiet time to think things over.
Leo the High School Intern: It was quiet. Until a man began shooting at him.
Cheasy M: Geezus.
Leo the High School Intern: Yes. Outcast was pretty sure he was a goner...until Hemlock appeared, running the shooter over and saving the Paradigm Champion’s life.
Cheasy M: Does, like, OCW have a contingency plan in place in case Outcast is murdered before Under the Lights?
Leo the High School Intern: No. I’m pretty sure they assume he’ll survive. It’s pretty much impossible to kill someone like Outcast.
Cheasy M: He mention Lux at all?
Leo the High School Intern: Oh yea. He seems to have moved beyond revenge. Initially, that’s what drove him against Lux, heading into Quarantined. He wanted revenge over some losses stemming from their time together in GCWA. Now? Not so much. Now he seems focused on taking the OCW Title from Xavier Lux...a victory that would validate his entire career...all the hard work, all the sacrifices...everything.
Cheasy M: Mhm...it would certainly be an excellent way to cap off a legendary career. Tons of people are rooting for the ‘old dog’ to rise up and win the big one. I think he’ll have a lot of support in Odessa.
Leo the High School Intern: Agreed.
Cheasy M: Alright...so that just about does it for the promos this week, right?
Leo the High School Intern: So far. Plenty more are due to air by Sunday...so I’m sure there’ll be a lot more to talk about next week.
Cheasy M: Well, I certainly hope so. Leo, always a pleasure. Take care.
~Leo nods. He gets cut out of the picture as we zoom in on Cheasy~
Cheasy M: And now...let’s keep the Margarita Mix action going! One of the Sportsbook favorites...the team of Madison and Daniels take on rising star Giovanni Santana and the mysterious Lily Lopez. Let’s see what went down! More Mix action coming your way!
And it’s time for more mix action!! You guys intoxicated yet? No? Well drink up ya fuckin pussies. Shit’s about to get real. This next first round match features a team comprised of a couple of veterans who would have no problem wrestling for an hour and then shutting the local bar down. Their opponents? A team featuring a rising star and a relative unknown.
OCW wasted no time in trotting out what some consider the biggest name in the field – Chris Madison. The pro wrestling badass emerged to a strong ovation from OCW diehards thrilled to see him step foot inside the famed promotion for the first time. Madison didn’t emote much, choosing to keep his focus on the ring...but it was clear via a few mannerisms that he was grateful for the respect.
Daniels was next. Another strong Key West welcome for the long haired, beer drinking vet. And, while as focused as Madison, Daniels decided to bring some items along for the ride...namely an ice chest (presumably full of beer) and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. A Marlboro red, if we had to guess. Brett placed the cooler near the post in his team’s corner and entered, shaking Madison’s hand.
“Cholo” entered first for his team. A sour look on his face, Santana appeared annoyed. The runner-up in this year’s QuagCup, Giovanni cursed to himself as he reached the ring, marched to his left, hopped on the apron, and took residence in his team’s corner. He shook his head and pounded on the top buckle with his fist, expressing some visible anger.
WHICH...brought us to Lily Lopez. Her music played and it took a hot minute for Lily to appear. She finally did, margarita glass in hand. Even the most naive adult could tell Lopez was fuckin wasted. Stumbling and staggering down the ramp, Lily continued to drink from her margarita glass, randomly screaming and attempting to flash people in the front row. Unfortunately for the lust filled dudes leaning over for a look, Lopez was too shit faced to figure out how to pull her top down low enough to flash some titty.
The camera zoomed in on Lily...probably a pervert handling it, hoping for a glimpse. Lopez suddenly vanished. The camera turned down to find her face down on the floor, having tripped over nothing. The rest of her drink spilled on the floor...a true party foul. But in classic alcoholic fashion, Lily began licking it up.
Scruff watched on from inside the ring. He turned to Cholo. Beyond pissed, Santana stepped through the ropes and motioned for the match to begin. He’d do it alone. There was no other option. Daniels and Madison cast each other a look that said, “Whatever. His choice.” Daniels took the apron, so he could finish burning his smoke down. Which meant Chris Madison would start things off, making his OCW in-ring debut!
The bell rang. The fans rose. An exciting image stood in front of them...a pro wrestling great staring down what many consider to be a future star. The two locked up to a huge ovation. Madison attempted to overpower Cholo...but he found that to be tough sledding. So, he tried to out work Giovanni...which resulted in Cholo’s defense stymieing Chris at every opportunity. Santana matched Madison’s speed and quickness. So, finally, Chris decided to test Cholo’s toughness as the two began to brawl.
Both men brawled to a massive ovation, neither gaining much of an advantage until Santana surprised Chris with a kick into the knee. With Madison staggered, Cholo threw a haymaker...however, Chris snared Cholo’s arm and took him down, rolling it into an armbar!!! The crowd popped. Giovanni was in trouble. Chris tried to straighten the arm out...if able, Cholo would have to tap or endure a snap.
With the arm nearly straightened, Cholo threw his legs around wildly, managing to find the bottom rope, forcing a break. Madison released right at the count of five, popping back to his feet. Cholo remained in the ropes, holding his arm...anxiety filled his eyes, knowing how close he was to having his arm snapped.
On the apron, Daniels finished his smoke and flicked the butt to the ground. He called out, extending his hand. Working to form a bond, Chris didn’t deny his partner, slapping hands and sending The Cowboy into the ring.
Right off the bat, Cholo realized he was dealing with a different animal. While Madison was calculating and cunning...Daniels revealed himself to be a straight up ass kicker. He grabbed onto Cholo and turned the match into a bar room brawl. Santana did everything he could to keep up with Daniels, preventing this from turning into a beat down.
In a moment that showed Cholo was a quick learner, Daniels tried to knock him out with a haymaker, much like Cholo attempted on Madison. Cholo dodged the match ending blow, picked Daniels up and dropped him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! And, for the first time since Lily’s drunk ass appeared, the fans began to believe Cholo’s team had a shot.
Giovanni took Brett back down with a clothesline from hell. He followed that up with a flying forearm from the top rope!! Madison threw his hands up in frustration. He tried to step in, but Scruff blocked him off, warning of a DQ. Cholo pinned Daniels. 1! 2! 3...NO!
The Cowboy survived! Knowing he needed to take things further, Cholo returned to his feet, keeping himself between Daniels and a very fresh, very eager, very dangerous Madison. Brett reached his feet...a little wobbly. But, given the fact he’s had more drunken brawls than Danny Bonaduce, Daniels remained confident in his striking.
Throwing a punch, Daniels missed once again, allowing Cholo to grab his arms, attempting a Full Nelson!! The crowd rose to their feet, knowing The Full Nelson was the precipice toward all three of Giovanni’s finishing moves. This match was nearing its end and it didn’t appear there was anything Madison or Daniels could do about it.
Brett fought and fought...showing the grit that helped make cowboys famous. He back walked Cholo into a corner, refusing to let Giovanni fully lock in that Full Nelson. What would have normally been a fatal error on Brett’s part, turned into the turning point he was looking for. He’d bullied Cholo into his own corner...where a drunk Lily stood, reaching out and touching Giovanni’s fro. Scruff slapped his hands, indicating a tag had been made. Santana let Daniels go and pleaded with Scruff to overturn the call. But, Scruff would not acquiesce.
Having averted disaster, Daniels did what any smart partner would do...he hurried and tagged in his fresh partner. Chris Madison stepped into the ring. A disgusted Cholo grabbed Lily and yanked her through the ropes, into the squared circle. He got on the apron and reached out, begging Lily to tag him back in. Lopez just laughed at him, finding his hair and attitude funny.
Stumbling on her feet, the menacing presence of Chris Madison lurked behind. Turning around, she looked up, staring at the eyes of a very dangerous man.
In a scene that would fit something akin to Old Yeller, Madison realized he needed to put the deranged Lopez down. He hoisted her up onto his shoulders (Electric Chair Position). At first, she cheered, thinking this was some kind of celebration or fun activity. But, soon, horror struck when Chris tossed her in the air, off his shoulders and caught her on the way down, throwing her back and SLAMMING her into the mat with a German Suplex (End Game)!!! The ring shook from the thunderous impact! He bridged into a pin. Scruff dove in with the count. 1! 2! 3!!!! The bell sounded.
A devastated Cholo leaned over the top rope, hanging his head, shaking it with an amalgamation of disappointment and regret.
Madison immediately released Lily and popped to his feet. He headed over, shaking hands with Daniels. Brett hopped off the apron and opened the ice chest, revealing several ice cold bottles of Budweiser.
The two men ripped a few caps off and began to celebrate. A despondent Cholo trudged past them, heading for the ramp. They snared his attention. He stopped. They threw a toast to the rising star, knowing that if he had half a tag partner that evening’s story may have had a different ending.
Santana nodded, very unhappy with things, but appreciating the show of respect. He marched up the ramp.
Scruff checked on Lily...she projectile vomited all over the mat. This was the sign Madison and Daniels needed to grab the cooler and move their party elsewhere.
Match Time: 14:27
Winners: Brett Daniels & Chris Madison
~We cut back to Cheasy and the Piledriver studio~
Cheasy M: Impressive debut for both Madison and Daniels. That team is going to be tough to beat! Probably the most seamless duo in the entire field.
~Cheasy shakes his head, thinking about the other team~
Cheasy M: Tough luck for Cholo. But, that’s how the Mix goes. Sometimes you get lucky like Madison and Daniels...and, well, other times you get stuck with Lily fucking Lopez.
~Who’Re snaps her fingers. She doesn’t like Cheasy cursing~
Cheasy M: Sorry, ma’am. Chris Madison and Brett Daniels will move on to face Bianca McBride and Bradley Carrington...two of the tournament favorites squaring off in the second round...I cannot WAIT for that one!
~Cheasy shifts. The camera cuts~
Cheasy M: Alright fans, we’re winding down for this week...let’s cut to commercial and when we return we’ll run down the updated standings AND we’ll find out the result of the lone remaining Mix match. Stick around, we’ll be right back!
~We cut away~
~We cut to backstage, where we see Lily Lopez painfully staggering down the hall. She's still a bit woozy...pretty drunk. Luckily, it appears none of the vomit got on her. Behind her, an annoyed-looking Giovanni “Cholo” Santana, who is arguing in Spanish with the two men next to him, the Malvado Brothers. As Cholo points over at Lopez, definitely blaming it all on her, Lopez walks around the corner, only to come to an abrupt stop due to what she sees coming at her.~
Peter Vaughn: Looks like you need more Motivation, Lily!!
~Vaughn swings, slamming what appears to be a metal Wet Floor sign into Lopez’s forehead!! Lopez crashes to the ground, as if shot, as Vaughn stands over her, glaring downwards. Cholo & The Malvados have stopped, all shocked at what just happened, but Vaughn’s not through yet.~
Peter Vaughn: You didn’t deserve to be here… but you can still accomplish something, Lily… you can still help me get what I want!
~Vaughn rears back with the sign, bringing it down on Lopez’s back…~
Peter Vaughn: HEEL…
~Again…~
Peter Vaughn: OF...
~And again…~
Peter Vaughn: THE…
~One more shot…~
Peter Vaughn: MONTH!!
~Lopez is down, in a lot of pain, as Vaughn stands back up straight, his rage having been released, at least for now. He turns towards Cholo & The Malvados, all of whom brace themselves for a fight with the hombre loco in front of them. But Vaughn just turns away from them, his point made. Cholo looks at the Malvados and shrugs, walking away without really caring much about who is clearly now his former partner. A few medics run in, having been alerted. They’ve seen more than their share of assaults in the back, so they quickly get to work on Lopez. In the meantime, Jonathan “Pryde” Barrows comes running up.~
Jonathan Barrows: Peter! What did you do??
Peter Vaughn: I made a statement, Jonathan. Isn’t that what you wanted from me? OCW’s not ignoring me. Not anymore.
~Vaughn walks away, with the camera taking a quick glimpse of the now-dented sign in his hands. Barrows looks down at Lopez. He doesn’t seem concerned with how she’s doing, and more concerned with the lessening of his control over The Janitor. He turns and walks after him, as we fade out.~
OCW Presents: Under the Lights
LIVE! Monday, September 6th, 2021
From Ratliff Stadium in Odessa, Texas
OCW Championship
Savage Championship
Craze Championship
Tag Team Championship
TransAtlantic Championship
Singles Match
Singles Match
Singles Match
‘Venom’ Xavier Lux (c) vs. Outcast (c)
BRIM vs. Thaddeus Duke
Peter Vaughn (c) vs. Dylan Thomas
Them No Good Bastards (c) vs. TBA
Betsy Granger (c) vs. Mack O'Connor
James Raven vs. The Incredible One
Ed Houston vs. Mike Zybala
Crash Rodriguez vs. Ian Dream
~We cut to the hospital room of Marcus Welsh. Why is he still here? Who knows? Maybe the Nurse is fudging the paper work to keep getting her bribes from Mike Zybala. Speaking of which, we see her leave the room with a large bag in her arms and a smile on her face. We see Welsh and Zybala once again enjoying the Outsiders video game. Zybala is The Uber-Man and Welsh is playing as Peter Vaughn. The match seems pretty even.~
Zybala: Geez, with all the sweets she's fleeced me for, I'm surprised her teeth haven't rotted out yet.
~Welsh's focus is gripped to the TV screen. He hits random buttons, one of which makes a broom appear in Vaughn's hands. Marcus quickly uses it to smack Uber Man in the gut. The neighbors in Emilio's yard cheer~
Marcus Welsh: Maybe she wears dentures. Fake teeth. Kinda like fake title history...like in OCW, where you're not recognized as champion.
~Welsh has, apparently, been unable to let this go~
Zybala: I hear ya. Why do fakes have to ruin good things for everyone else? Oh come on! How did you get that broom?!
~ The TV shows Vaughn beating down Uber-Man with the broom. The digital Yardies are cheering the beat down. Zybala starts mashing the buttons to move out of the way. ~
Zybala: How did you get so good at this? You're as good at this as you were a GM.
Marcus Welsh: Obviously not good enough if your OCW Title victory didn't stand.
~Uber begins to UBE UP...He rips Vaughn's broom away and starts bashing Peter in the face with right hands. Welsh preses every button he can as furiously as he's able~
Marcus Welsh: A total failure on my end.
~ Zybala uses Uber-Man to hit Vaughn with an Uber-Slam but only gets a 2 count. Zybala groans in frustration as Welsh sighs with relief. ~
Zybala: Don't beat yourself up over it, Marcus. It's in the past and I don't think that bed doubles as a TARDIS. Damn it! This Vaughn is as hard to take down as the real one!
~Uber tries to follow up the Uber-Slam with another one of his signature moves that this narrator doesn't care enough to look up. Vaughn blocks it...we hear a toilet flush. A stream of yellow air flows his way, filling Peter with some magical power...he turns and thrusts his hands at Uber. OCW's famed escort flies through the air, SLAMMING into a corner. He collapses to the mat. The yardies go wild. A few of them buttchug some beer~
Marcus Welsh: Yes! I unlocked the urinary tract infection!
~ Zybala shakes his head. ~
Zybala: Remind me to never let Dean have creative control on the next videogame. Oh come on Uber, get up!
~ Uber does not get up. He is laying on the mat as Vaughn climbs up the turnbuckles. He leaps off with The Plunge and hits the shooting star legdrop on Uber! Zybala smashes the buttons at the digital Mitch counts to three! Welsh cheers for his victory as computer Vaughn is given the Outsiders World Title! Suddenly the screen flashes to a cut screen of Matt Meyhu walking through The Yard and to the ring. He gets in the ring and the TV announces that "You've Unlocked Matt Meyhu!" Zybala nervously glances at Welsh, who stares at it the name sparks a memory. ~
Marcus Welsh: It's him.
~Zybala drops his remote. Welsh leans forward, leaning all his focus toward the screen. An instant match starts...it's total BOSS mode. Welsh does his best, but Meyhu mops the floor with the janitor. At its conclusion, Welsh slings the remote into the wall and turns around, burying his face in his pillow. The words on the screen read, "Your world title win is no longer recognized thanks...to Matt Meyhu". Meyhu stands proudly, hands atop his hips, laughing~
Marcus Welsh: NOT AGAIN
~ Zybala places his controller down and puts a hand o Welsh's back. The Nurse peeks her head back in the room, munching away on a licorice vine. ~
Zybala: Woah! Are you OK there buddy? It's only a game. You don't need to get worked up over a loss. Just take it easy.
~Welsh remains quiet. All the wrongdoings he perceives within the sport of pro wrestling and, most notably OCW, flash through his mind. It doesn't take long...because, well, he can't remember shit. He looks up at the screen, staring at the virtual image of Meyhu laughing at him~
Marcus Welsh: Something ought to be done about that.
~Zybala doesn’t really have much to say. Welsh’s anger has his judgment compromised. Now would be a great time to talk him into signing a document that could legitimize Zybala’s OCW Title win from 3 years ago...but Zybala can’t. Instead, he shuts the game off and tries to find some form of programming that might calm Welsh down. They land on an old episode of Silk Stalkings~
Welsh: Ohhh
Zybala: I’ll...see myself out.
~Welsh has forgotten all about porn. So, cheesy ‘provocative’ programming form the 90s does the trick. Mike rushes out of the room before shit gets real. We cut back to the OCW Studio and Cheasy M~
Cheasy M: Welsh’s memory may be gone but that signature temper is alive and well! Kinda scary a guy suffering amnesia could alter the course of OCW history with his signature. Thankfully, Zybala would never allow him to do that, right…RIGHT?
~We all don’t THINK Zybala would allow it...but we can’t say for SURE. The OCW Title is very, very alluring~
Cheasy M: Oh, and Silk Stalkings was the shit. I’ll fight anyone who disagrees.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy shifts~
Cheasy M: Alright...it’s time for an updated look at the OCW Standings! A rather slow week...people are still recuperating from House of Cards...BUT, there were some movers and shakers...so, let’s take a look!
|
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|---|---|---|---|
~We cut back to Cheasy...he’s reviewing the standings~
Cheasy M: Lux holding firm at thirty. Vaughn and Zybala with the biggest jumps this week. Granger and Outcast get a decent bump thanks to their promos. And a few slight adjustments for Thomas, Duke, and TIO. Outside of that...yea, things are pretty much where they were.
~Cheasy spins around, facing the camera~
Cheasy M: Dissatisfied with your ranking? Promos, CD pieces, Newswire posts, in-show segments, show reviews...get busy and that score will improve! It’s all about activity!
~The standings disappear~
Cheasy M: Alright...we’re just about done here...but, wait! There’s another Mix match, right? Haha, and you thought I forgot. How could I forget about the WAR that’s been waged on Twitter? You thought this Mix was going to be a fun-loving, free-wheeling event? Well, think again! Father Thyme and Sebastian Grey have just about worn out their keypads this week going at one another in anticipation of their first round match.
~Cheasy takes a breath. Indeed. It’s been INTENSE~
Cheasy M: Who prevailed? Let’s find out!
The crowd was amped. Wrestling on a WEDNESDAY? IN KEY WEST? This totally fucks. And on hump day, no less! Stoked, they stood on their feet ready to see who would come out next. They weren’t disappointed…
All the pomp and circumstance you’d expect. One of GM Who’Re’s favorite talents, Sebastian Grey made his official debut for the company. Heading down the ramp, the Modern-day Adonis ignored the fans, keeping his focus steady on the ring. It was clear the man was on a mother fucking mission. The fans at ringside were in awe at the dude’s physique. Like take an avenger and then have him fuck the goddess Athena and there you go...Sebastian Grey. Grey reached the ring and stood, showing great equanimity as he awaited the other three competitors.
Ricky Rodriguez was out next. The fans weren’t very receptive...his reputation preceding him. Rodriguez didn’t care, arrogantly working his way down the ramp, scoffing at the reactions of fans nearest him before sliding into the ring and popping up in front of Grey. Looking his partner up and down, Ricky nodded – impressed. He slapped Grey on the chest, thrilled with the partner he’d been gifted.
Billy Young was next. He lived up to his name, sprinting down the ramp like a bullet and sliding into the ring. The fans popped...they always pop for someone as energetic and excited as Billy. He hurried to his feet and worked the top rope, stretching his arms and shoulders, keeping a wary eye on Ricky and Bash...getting the vibe they couldn’t be trusted.
And, finally, we were treated to Father Thyme. The good father made his way down the ramp, sprinkling thyme on fans at ringside, blessing them and attempting to stifle their sins. He walked around the ring..spotting a woman with a low cut shirt, Father stopped and said a quiet prayer...for her and himself...his wandering mind. He entered the ring and gave Billy the sign of the cross on his forehead. Young looked around as if to say, “Uhhh okay.”
Young began the match, as did Ricky. Leaving the two ‘larger’ men on the apron, for backup. Young and Ricky wowed the fans with their agility, speed, and quickness. Billy seemed more focused and straight to the point whereas Ricky had far more flair and arrogance in his mannerisms and machinations.
Billy took control with a wild series of moves that went: Forearm uppercut sending Ricky into the corner...followed by a monkey flip...turning into Billy springboarding off the middle rope, hitting Ricky with a moonsault. This resulted in a two and a half count. The crowd was on their feet. Young, feeling the moment, tagged Father Thyme in.
Father took a second to bless Ricky before stomping the hell out of him. Billy caught his breath on the apron. Thyme threw Ricky into the ropes before turning him inside out with a power clothesline. The strength of Thyme was on full display as he tossed Ricky around the ring with the type of hate you’d see from a heathen. Father said many prayers after every move. Thyme earned a couple of near falls. Grey looked on, concerned.
Thyme got Ricky up for his finisher...a Crucifix Powerbomb (The Exorcism). Ricky wiggled free, dropping behind Thyme. Father spun around only to get hit with a spinning roundhouse kick!!! Father fell into a corner. Ricky dropped to one knee. Grey extended his arm. Father rose upon saying a prayer and marched for Ricky...but Rodriguez was able to tag Grey in. The crowd ‘ooh’d and aah’d’ eager to see Bash in action. Father Thyme eyed Goliath, said a prayer, and tagged David in. Billy jumped the top rope, going after Grey.
Grey dominated Billy. Tossing the bullet around the ring with ease. Ricky laughed and clapped from the apron. The crowd grew agitated. They weren’t enjoying the ‘bullying’ taking place in front of them. Grey attempted a few lazy pins on Billy...none effective enough to earn the three count. It seemed all but lost for The Bullet.
Father Thyme preached from the apron, recanting the story from The Book of Samuel. The story of David and Goliath. Grey told him to shut up. Ricky mocked him. Thunder clapped from the sky. Grey was staggered. Everyone stood in awe. As it turned out, a giant speaker blew out. STILL, Young had his window of opportunity! He kipped up and nailed Grey with a series of punches, sending the Modern-day Adonis into a corner. Grey stumbled out, shook. Billy spun around and slung his fist into Goliath’s chin!!! Grey toppled over! The crowd went wild!!
Billy went for the pin! 1! 2! 3..NO!!! Grey managed to kick out! Religious people at ringside had their faith tested. Father Thyme began to pray.
Undaunted, Billy pulled Grey to his feet. But Bash overpowered Billy, sending him into the ropes. Realizing he needed back up, Billy held on to the top rope, ceasing his momentum, and tagged Father Thyme into the ring. The crowd rose with anticipation. Father Thyme and Sebastian Grey faced off.
Father attempted to bless Grey, but Grey slapped his hand away and began to beat Father down. He brought massive forearms down onto Thyme’s scarred back. The good father was down. He was reeling. Grey began to pose. The beautiful Heaven Russell watched from ringside. She cheered her man on. Father, hearing the cheers, spotted Heaven and her revealing outfit. He became enraged at the lust that was brewing within his loins.
Firing up, Father Thyme rose to his feet and blocked Grey’s offense. He pounced Bash into a corner, wrapping his hands around Grey’s throat, choking the life from him. Scruff ran in to break the choke up. But Father was consumed by hate.
Young yelled out, “FATHER!” Father Thyme’s trance broke. He stared at his hands and backed away, stifled by the shock of his merciless power. Grey coughed, used the ropes for balance and headed for Ricky. Disgusted, Father headed for Billy, tagging him in. Thyme hopped off the apron and located a Kendo Stick. He began to beat himself. Billy watched on like, “what the fuck?”
A tag was made. Young quickly turned around, refocusing on the incoming Ricky Rodriguez.
Ricky, pent up from being sidelined for awhile, charged recklessly at Billy. Young leaped up and wrapped his legs around Ricky’s head.
The crowd stood. Billy was going for Bullet Brain Hemorrhage...a hurricanrana dropping Ricky on his fuckin head. He managed to toss Ricky over!!
But Rodriguez used the combination of his athleticism and momentum to flip all the way over...landing on the middle rope and leaping off...Billy spun around, confused...in doing so, he got caught with a springboard cutter!! To the Top!!! Billy was out! Ricky rolled him over and shot the half!! Scruff slid in for the 1! 2! and 3!!! The bell rang.
Ricky rose to his feet, walking around the ring, talking shit. Father Thyme watched on, shaking his head with disappointment. Ricky high fived Bash...the duo showed no humility in their celebration. Father dropped to a knee and prayed. Ricky and Bash left the ring...Heaven being helped over the barricade by Bash to escort the two backstage.
Match Time: 23:48
Winners: Ricky Rodriguez & Sebastian Grey
~We cut back to Cheasy inside the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Wow! What a match! Father Thyme was way more impressive than I was expecting...but, that duo of Ricky and Sebastian Grey was too much. Those two...maybe the most impressive team in the entire first round.
~Cheasy spins. The camera cuts, keeping up~
Cheasy M: Ricky Rodriguez and Sebastian Grey move on to face Tara Fenix and Victor Malvado in the second round of the Mix. That match, along with Chris Madison/Brett Daniels against Bradley Carrington/Bianca McBride will take place in two weeks...right here on Piledriver!
~The music signaling that our show has come to an end, begins to lightly play~
Cheasy M: And that’s all the time we’ve got for this week’s episode. The Mix...started the night at 32 competitors and, like that, we’re down to 24. Join me next week as we finish off the first round of the Mix!
~The music grows in volume. The lights begin to dim~
Cheasy M: And keep your eyes glued to the OCW Network as several high-quality promos are due to air within the next few days. And, with that...I’m Cheasy M saying so long...we’ll catch ya next week!
~We fade out from the OCW Studio~
Yes, you read that correctly! For the first time in OCW history, we will have a show featuring nothing but the fairer gender! For the night, Belvedere will be replaced by Lissandra Thomas! Mitch will be replaced by the returning Commissioner Annie! Even Zybala and Dean will be taking the night off and will be outclassed by Vanessa and Dr. Cassandra Baker Savage(?)!!! We only have a few matches so far, but more might come down the line. So join us on September 13th for the most progressive night in any OCW history!!!