Wednesday, July 7th, 2021
Taped from the OCW Studio
Episode #8
~A quick trailer for Black Widow plays, pre-empting our broadcast of Piledriver. It’s a solid enough trailer. But why in the fuck is it coming out AFTER the character died in Endgame (spoiler alert!!!). The timing seems off. Like, so incredibly off you’d expect DC to be behind it. Ah, whatever. It’ll probably be entertaining and you’ll still probably watch it. Disney wins again, basically. Our self-loathing over having our strings pulled by the mouse dissipate quickly once that OCW logo flashes! It’s Piledriver time, baby!! We’re finally out from under the influence of that 4th of July hangover and we’re ready to get back on track!! The funky beat that’s become synonymous with the weekly in-studio show finishes and the lights rise to display Cheasy M behind the OCW Piledriver desk! He’s looking as vibrant as ever~
Cheasy M: Hello again everyone and welcome back to Piledriver! I trust you all had a wonderful 4th of July. Personally, mine was great. Had some major fireworks going on in the bedroom...IF you know what I mean
~Kinda impossible to NOT know what he means~
Cheasy M: Vacations are great...but, like most of you, I’m itching to get back to work! We’re less than THREE weeks away from House of Cards and the action is heating up!
~We cut to an image of The Incredible One~
Cheasy M: Last week OCW Hall of Famer, former OCW Champion The Incredible One showed up, unannounced, complaining about being passed over for the open roster spot. Some OCW fans believe he has a point.
~Cheasy’s eyes quickly glance toward Who’Re before returning to the camera~
Cheasy M: I, however, side with our strong-willed general manager! The past is a reminder of what we once were. And, sure, we should never forget it...however, its always best to leave the past where it belongs so that we can march ahead for a brighter future. So, TIO, I doubt we’ll be seeing you in an OCW ring anytime soon...in the meantime, let’s all enjoy one of your greatest victories. Let’s take everybody back to ‘Like There’s No Tomorrow’ when TIO brawled with Chad Vargas through the streets of Key West for the Paradigm Championship!
St. Patty’s Day Pub Crawl Brawl
The Incredible One (4-0) vs. “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (2-1)
~We cut to the streets of Key West. People are walking around, enjoying beverages of their choice. We don’t see any sign of Predator~
Smith: Is Predator out there? Hellooooo
Hood: Might have groped the wrong dude
~We cut to Belvedere who is inside the ring. He’s receiving word via his headset~
Belvedere: I’m being told that Predator has been detained by local authorities. Therefore I, Belvedere! Will handle the announcing duties for this match…so, without further ado…this match is a St Patty’s Day Pub Crawl Brawl scheduled for ONE FALL!! And…it is for the OCW Paradigm Championship!!! Introducing first…
~We are shown the inside of CAPTAIN TONY’S. The Incredible One is leaning against the giant, wooden bar with a white, plastic cup in his hand. His swigging some pineapple concoction that is sure to get you lit. There are also three shots next to his left elbow~
Belvedere: From Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is the OCW Paradigm Champion…The Incredible One!!!
~TIO nods and picks up a shot, toasting it at the camera. He downs it. He grabs another and downs that one~
Smith: Interesting philosophy this group of wrestlers have when prepping for big matches
Hood: Hey man, it’s just like taking a shit ton of advil or whatever…dulls the pain.
Smith: I guess…also distorts decision making
Hood: Yea, if you’re a pussy who can’t handle your alcohol
Smith: He just finished a pineapple rum beverage AND downed two shots…that’s quite a bit
Hood: Not for a member of The Aptitude…not for someone Incredible…not for our Paradigm Champion
Belvedere: And his opponent…in a location undetermined at this time but definitely not alongside Predator. He is from Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…”The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
~TIO smiles and shrugs, thinking Vargas has backed out. He’s about to take that third shot when a voice calls from outside the bar~
Chad Vargas: Bitch-up…get your lame ass out here!
~TIO places the shot back on the bar and says, “keep an eye on that, I’ll be right back.” He makes way outside. The bartender heads over to the ‘tip’ bell and he rings it vigorously. The crowd inside the bar goes wild, as does the echoed sounds within the OCW Arena~
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: Main event baby! This should be fucking badass
Smith: How many beers have you had?
Hood: Not nearly enough to be spending my evenings with you and feel good about it
~We follow TIO he steps outside as the establishment has no doors. Vargas is standing on the corner of a four way intersection. The street is lightly trafficked…it’s more of a pedestrian, on foot type area than it is a major hub for commerce. A few chickens are running around which, my sound weird, but is normal in Key West. A few trollies carrying vacationers are bustling slowly down the streets…but, for the most part, it’s lined with people in shorts, tank tops and carrying beers. The only establishments are sunglass huts, t-shirt shops, and bars. Vargas spots TIO and sprints for him. A few vacationers scream and dart out of the way as Vargas wraps his arms around TIO’s waist and bullies him backward. He’s able to lift TIO’s legs up and tip him over onto his back. TIO lands on the sidewalk roughly…Vargas crawls on top and starts throwing fists at TIO’s head. The crowd around cheers, mostly…a few people look for police thinking this is some impromptu brawl~
Smith: Here we go!! The hatred for these two is scintillating!
Hood: Nice ‘s’ word, man, very sleek
Smith: I do not appreciate the supercilious intonation
Hood: Well, suck it
~A few people bring some police over saying “Stop this, it’s getting out of hand.” The cops look down and become happy, “Oh sweet! I had this set for DVR but fuck it, I’ll watch it live instead. Bartender, give me a beer!” The cops begin swilling beer, watching the pub brawl. TIO kicks Vargas off him and struggles to his feet. His elbows are chafed. Vargas re-establishes his footing and he charges at TIO once more, bullying him inside Captain Tony’s and against the bar. The edge of the bar stabs TIO in the back, he winces. Vargas lifts a knee into TIO’s gut. He then grabs TIO by the hair and tosses him harshly to the cement ground. The crowd cheers! Vargas looks at the shot and asks the bartender, “Is that his?” pointing at TIO. The bartender nods. Vargas throws it back and slams the empty glass back down. “Keep them coming, on that mother fucker’s tab,” he demands. The bartender does as he’s told~
Smith: I’m not sure TIO is going to enjoy the excessive bar tab
Hood: He’ll be fine…the man spits gold…he sneezes silver…every time he smiles the twinkle off his pearly whites heals the nearest sick person.
Smith: Yea, I doubt that
Hood: So did Thomas, Smith…so did Thomas
~Vargas receives another shot and he buries it down the hatch. TIO is staggering to his feet…Vargas rushes over and smashes the shot glass against TIO’s head! TIO falls into the wall…it keeps him from hitting the ground. Vargas looks at his hand, it’s got a few tiny cuts. He wipes it off on the side of his ring shorts. He looks at the bartender, “You gonna charge me for that?” The bartender nods and Vargas points at TIO, “His tab as well.” Vargas then kicks TIO in the ass…TIO stumbles forward, landing on his hands and knees. A few drops of blood fall from his head as the shot glass gave him a tiny cut, but nothing The Knife Man would get excited about~
Smith: Vargas in total control
Hood: Of TIO’s body but, more importantly, his Debit Card!
Smith: That can be a dangerous situation…I had a charge show up from Mexico the other day…had to get it cancelled.
Hood: I didn’t know you were down in Mexico getting dirty with the locals
Smith: I would NEVER
Hood: Oh, so you think they’re a bunch of dirty Mexicans who aren’t worth your time?
Smith: I…I never said that
Hood: You’re really into WALLS aren’t you
Smith: Back to the match!
~TIO tries to crawl away…hoping to regain his wits. Vargas stays on top of him. He kicks TIO in the middle of the back. TIO flattens out on the concrete, dirty bar floor. Patrons scatter, giving them room to operate. Vargas stands on a bench with no back. He leaps off and stomps on TIO’s back with both legs. He then casually strolls to the bar and whistles. The bartender presents another shot. Vargas throws it back and then shatters the glass into the back of TIO’s head!! TIO is flat on his face and stomach…a bit of blood is starting to rise from the back of his head. The fans chant as Vargas nods, enjoying the ambiance of this ass kicking his handing out~
Smith: It’s all Chad Vargas!
Hood: Yea this might not have been the best idea for TIO…I’m sure Vargas has seen his fair share of bar room brawls.
Smith: Indeed
Hood: But the fucker could pay for his own drinks…that’s just low man, sneaking your shit on another man’s tab.
Smith: He’s not really being all that surreptitious about it, Hood
Hood: Are you retarded? He’s not downing syrup…that’s whiskey you dumb fuck
~Vargas pulls TIO to his feet by the back of his hair. He drags him near a door and throws him, head first!! The door falls inward, breaking off the hinges. It leads into the restroom. Vargas steps inside and yanks TIO to his feet again. He drags him near the mirror and makes him look at the cuts on the top of his head. He then rubs the back of TIO’s head and displays the red palm belonging to that hand through the mirror’s reflection. “See that, bitch-up? That’s your fucking blood and there’s more to come!” He turns around and throws TIO head first into the door of a stall. It was locked, but TIO’s weight breaks it down. TIO falls backwards, right at Chad’s feet. Chad’s about to pick him up when he notices something~
Smith: Oh my!
Hood: Holy shit…old man’s still got it!
Smith: Can we pull the camera away or something?
Hood: Nice to see he’s putting that 10k to good use!
~A bruised and battered Caution has a girl half his age up against the bathroom stall. He turns around and spots the camera. He does nothing. He goes back to sealing the deal – how’s that for a euphemism. Vargas gives him a very Dr. Orange-esque thumb up. An arm reaches between his legs and punches Vargas right in the crotch!! Chad doubles over. TIO gets to his feet and he kicks Chad in the ass. Chad stumbles into the stall, bumping into a thrusting Caution~
Smith: Can we get them OUT of there…for heaven’s sake. And the audacity of that man, he’s twice that girl’s age.
Hood: He’s an inspiration!
Smith: Why do we ALWAYS have to dip to these depths, Hood?
Hood: I don’t know, but personally I’m appalled that Vargas attacked that woman in such a…feral? Visceral?
Smith: The adjective is immaterial because he wasn’t attacking anyone
~TIO pays the obscene situation little mind. He grabs Vargas by his blonde hair and drags him out of the bathroom. He picks him up and bodyslams him onto the concrete floor in the bar area. He walks over to a pool table. A guy is about to take a shot. He rips the stick away. The guy bows up…TIO puffs his chest out, the guy backs down. TIO takes the stick and jams it into Chad’s throat!! Chad’s legs kick around while TIO keeps the pressure on~
Smith: I was never any good at pool
Hood: That’s no surprise...but I bet you were good at POCKET pool
Smith: Ha ha, very funny
Hood: How deep were your pockets…I’m guessing not very
~TIO removes the stick and heads to the bar. He yells, “Where the FUCK is my third shot?” The bartender is petrified…so he just pours another, probably on the house. TIO slams it and then cracks the stick in half. He takes the fat end along with the shot glass. Vargas stumbles to his feet, coughing…TIO bashes the shot glass into Chad’s forehead. Vargas falls back down. TIO then takes the broken, splintery end of the stick and quickly jabs it over and over into Chad’s head. Vargas screams as the wood is poking into his skin~
Smith: That tab keeps piling up
Hood: You think TIO has any idea? Maybe I should tell him
Smith: They’re like ten miles away
Hood: Oh yea, damn off location matches.
~TIO tosses the stick aside…Vargas’ head looks like it’s suffering from bad acne. That is until the acne begins to spit out blood. He’s forehead is chewed up. TIO stomps onto his head once…Vargas rolls over and reaches for the broken cue. TIO kicks it away. He picks Vargas up and throws him OVER the bar!! The bartender, who is REALLY hating his job right now, darts out of the way. TIO hops over the bar and begins perusing the liquor bottles~
Smith: You know, isn’t the Paradigm Title meant for mat wrestling…the purity of the sport?
Hood: Yea, under that weirdo who used to run this place. But Jimmy Buffet knows a thing or two about how to breathe life into a boring as fuck championship
Smith: I disagree
Hood: I guess you forgot that in the final Paradigm Championship match under the former administration Bifford was chasing Dangerous Dan around with a Scythe
Smith: I had until now…thanks
~He searches and searches, going through several different brands and liquors. He finally locates EVERCLEAR. We’re gonna just assume they carry that. He rips off the pour control nozzle and leans over Vargas…he starts to pour it all over the punctured scalp. Vargas at first somewhat enjoys the refreshing coolness of the liquid…until, well, it burns…badly. He yells out and flails about doing what he can to wipe it from his head. TIO laughs and throws a swig back. He coughs and stares at the bottle~
Smith: Seems like that was a bit more than he bargained for
Hood: Shit is straight gasoline
Smith: I wouldn’t know, I’ve never had the displeasure
Hood: It’s great for party punch. Grab an ice chest, fill it up with a bunch of Gatorade and juice and then dump some ‘clear in there…chicks get TANKED
Smith: Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen
~TIO throws the bottle across the bar. It shatters against the wall, some woman screams. A bunch of broke patrons rush over to try and scoop up as much of the alcohol as they are able. TIO yanks Vargas by his wet, reddening hair. He throws him back over the bar, into the patron area. Vargas crashes over some stools before landing hard. TIO hops onto the bar and jumps off, dropping an elbow onto Vargas! He gets to his feet and limps around, wincing…it was a pretty tough fall~
Smith: Yea, those types of moves can be harmful in this environment
Hood: A few more shots and he’ll perform a suicide dive off the top of one of them buildings!
Smith: Well, if that’s the case…I doubt anyone could accuse the move’s name of being hyperbole.
Hood: Is that like a bowl of weed laced with cocaine?
Smith: No, it means exaggeration
Hood: Hmm, hyverpolie…cool, new word, thanks man!
~TIO favors his hip a bit. Vargas, the tough southern badass, is already trying to regain his footing. TIO rushes over and soccer kicks him in the gut!! Vargas flips over and rolls several times over…he winds up near the entrance. A man with a guitar is standing right in the entry way. The case is open and a few dollars are sprinkled about. He’s getting ready to play. TIO reaches over and grabs a dollar out of the bartender’s tip jar. The bartender gets angry but TIO raises a fist and he backs down. TIO then throws the dollar into the guitar case and yells “Needle and the Spoon!” The very calm, drifting artist nods and begins playing Chad’s theme. The crowd starts to sing along~
Smith: How insulting!
Hood: What a great guy…TIO is paying tribute to the soon to be deceased Chad Vargas!
Smith: No he’s not…he wants Vargas to hear this song while he beats him up
Hood: Oh, well at least it will provide some comfort
Smith: It’s like salt in the wound
Hood: OR…Everclear in the wound!
~The crowd continues to sing along as TIO chimes in a little. He’s not over the top loud, more talk-singing. He grabs Chad and yanks the back of his hair…he points at the musician. The musician gets a little nervous as his voice breaks, momentarily. TIO then runs toward the bar and goes to slam Vargas face first…Vargas, though, kicks his leg up and stops the impact. He head puts TIO and slams TIO’s head into the bar!! The crowd goes wild as the singing intensifies! Chad breathes in heavily and waves the bartender over. He asks for one more shot and the tab. The bartender complies~
Smith: How is Chad going to sign for the tab?
Hood: With his hand
Smith: Duh, I know that…but he isn’t TIO and this is on television
Hood: Since when did logic stand in the way of a good story?
Smith: Good point
~The bartender hands Vargas a shot. Some blood drips into it before he’s able to throw it back. It doesn’t matter. TIO starts to get up and Vargas smashes the shot glass against his head. The bartender writes in an added expenditure. Vargas grabs TIO’s right hand, gets a pin and force signs his signature. He then takes TIO’s card and stuffs it down the side of his shorts. He pulls TIO by the hair and drags him out of the bar. The crowd outside cheers as the bloodied Vargas and the disheveled, slightly crimsoned TIO emerge into the streets of Key West! Vargas tosses TIO’s body into the road, he tumbles around. Vargas goes after him…TIO gets to his feet and he punches Vargas. Vargas punches him back…they begin brawling much to the drunken crowd’s delight~
Smith: They are brawling on Greene St during a St Patrick’s Themed Event!
Hood: You were waiting all match to say that…weren’t you?
Smith: Yes, I thought they’d NEVER leave that bar
Hood: Such a loser
~A trolley carrying vacationers heads down Greene St. It stops and honks at TIO and Vargas. TIO stops and looks angrily at the driver. Vargas uses the distraction to his advantage, thumbing TIO in the eye! He drags TIO to the trolley and throws him aboard. The driver yells something about all passengers requiring a seat. Vargas shows him his forehead and yells, “Does it look like I give a fuck?!” The driver replies, “NO SIR!” and he starts driving. Vargas begins to bash TIO’s head into the metal flooring of the trolley which takes a right turn down Fitzpatrick Street~
Smith: And now they are going down Fitzpatrick Street…my how convenient!
Hood: What’s next, Shamrock Boulevard?
Smith: Oh come on…
Hood: How about Four Leaf Cove?
Smith: No
~ TIO fights Vargas off and grabs his right hand…he bites down. Vargas yells and rips his right hand away. In doing so, it thrashes the driver in the neck, knocking him out. The trolley swerves and crashes into a building. Everyone aboard screams. TIO gets to his feet and shoves a couple of Dare lookalikes out of their seats. He crawls out of the window, because Vargas was in the way of the door. Vargas goes after him. TIO is half out the opened window with his arms reaching up and grabbing the roof. Vargas tries grabbing his legs, but TIO kicks him away and climbs to the roof of the trolley. Vargas goes after him~
Smith: What on earth are they going to do up there?
Hood: You seen Teen Wolf?
Smith: That’s ridiculous…the vehicle would need to be moving to pull that off!
Hood: Now you’re being ridiculous…everybody knows you only dance on the roofs of cars when they are stationary…or, in this case, stuck inside some random building.
~Vargas reaches the roof as everyone except the injured driver spills out of the trolley. Fans from Captain Tony’s have followed the trolley and are standing around, looking up, along with the former passengers. Others gather as well. The two men start to trade punches. TIO gains the advantage. Vargas backs up near the edge…fans scatter. Vargas fights back!! TIO stumbles near the edge…those fans scatter!! TIO battles back…the two continue to exchange. Crimson mist splatters into the air after each blow with both men losing their fair share of blood, Vargas more so at this point~
Smith: I don’t have a good feeling about this…something awful might happen
Hood: No shit, they are fighting on top of a trolley in the middle of a road
Smith: So you’re saying I’m stating the obvious?
Hood: Uhh, obviously
~Vargas is woozy…leaning back near the edge. TIO is starting to win the war. The Everclear is working overtime, dulling his pain. He goes to clothesline Vargas off the trolley…but Vargas ducks and lifts TIO up onto his shoulders. He turns to toss TIO off the Trolley with an FU…but TIO slips off his back! Vargas turns around and TIO kicks him in the groin!! Vargas doubles over and TIO grabs his head and hooks it. TIO turns where his back is facing the edge. He lifts Vargas up into the air, keeping him vertical. The crowd scatters and holds their breath. TIO closes his eyes and mouths the phrase, ‘fuck it’…he then falls back!! The two men cascade down and SLAM into the hard road via a suplex from TIO!!! The crowd gasps in horror. A drunken ‘HOLY SHIT’ chant starts to catch fire and eventually fills the Key West atmosphere. But the men are down…they aren’t moving. Their eyes are shut…fortunately, their chests are rising and falling thanks to the involuntary bodily function known as BREATHING~
Smith: That’s INSANE! They are both broken…they have to be…there is NO give out there
Hood: An ultimate death match that ends in a tie? Interesting
Smith: No, it’d be tragic. We need a ref out here right now…where is our ref anyway…I haven’t seen him the entire match!
Hood: If it’s Scruff, I bet he was licking the Everclear TIO spilled earlier off the floor
~A golf cart appears with Puff riding shot gun. An OCW employee is yelling at him, “I don’t care if you think this is crash test dummy wrestling. You HAVE to officiate it.” Puff’s arms are folded, he’s pouting. “If you don’t, we are cancelling your subscription to Japanese wrestling.” Puff’s eyes widen. He hops out of the cart and rushes over to TIO and Vargas. He inspects the carnage and begins a count~
Smith: Just once, for the love…could we have a NORMAL referee
Hood: Hey Puff is normal…sure he might take this wrestling thing a little too seriously…but that’s a good thing, right?
Smith: Not if he goes on strike before matches he’s set to ref due to the barbaric nature of the stipulation
Hood: Eh, I don’t have as much of a problem with that as I do over the fact he still rocks that ‘wet gelled hair’ look.
~Puff yells “ONE!” the crowd begins to urge the competitors to get up. We zoom in and get a close up look. Dust surrounds their bodies. It begins to clear and we see their faces…they look so peaceful…aside from all the fucking blood of course. A chicken clucks and struts into view. It starts pecking at the forehead of Vargas~
Smith: Ewww
Hood: That’s it, I’m never eating poultry again
Smith: I don’t think that’s a chicken’s normal diet
~Chad’s eyes shoot open. He grabs the chicken and sits up. TIO is still out. Puff stops counting. Chad gets to his feet and he grabs the chicken by the neck. He holds it into the air. The fans all look on. One says, “Chicken run was a great movie.” Another says, “I just love animals.” A third adds, “Moments like this are why I’m glad I’m a vegan.” Chad then SNAPS the neck of the chicken. Everyone screams and runs. He drops the lifeless body and points at TIO in a moment of Southern symbolism. He pulls TIO to his feet and backs him against the trolley. Chad slaps him across the face~
Smith: Despicable!
Hood: Yes, completely foul
Smith: I’m glad you’re taking this seriously
Hood: It was a very foul move
Smith: I know, I heard you the first time
Hood: How FOWL could you be?
Smith: Hey, wait a minute…quit mocking animal cruelty!
~TIO spits a blood-soaked wad into Chad’s face. Chad head butts TIO. TIO falls to his knees. Chad slams the back of TIO’s head into the unforgiving metal of the trolley. He hoists TIO up and carries him across the street toward HOG’S BREATH SALOON! There’s an outdoor entry with one of those ‘stick your face through the hole’ things and it’ll look like you’ve got some weird, funny body. The bodies for these are beach-going pigs. Vargas spots the source of lame entertainment and he carries TIO behind the themed partitions. He sets TIO down and wedges his face inside the hole atop a female, bikini pig body. TIO’s head is smashed in there really tight. His blood leaks out and down the portrait, giving it a weird look. Some fancy man in the background claps and says, “Love it! Raw, edgy! Great art!” Vargas tells him to, “Keep your fucking mouth shut you pussy!” He grabs someone’s cell and takes a picture of TIO. He then hands the phone back and rushes forward with an elbow into TIO’s face!!! TIO falls back and the entire partition tilts over, landing on top of him~
Smith: I think Vargas might have inadvertently created a visceral form of moving art!
Hood: You think that’s wild…who knew the guy could use a cell phone??
Smith: Whatever, he was posting a blog earlier in the week
Hood: Too long; didn’t read
Smith: Jerk
~Vargas heads inside the Saloon. There is an indoor drinking area and an outdoor area. Vargas remains in the outdoor area. He heads up to the bar. Patrons scatter upon seeing his bloodied, beaten exterior. He leans against the bar and reaches into his pants. A portly woman nearby yells, “Geezus Malone, he’s going for his cock!” Vargas removes TIO’s debit card and he slides it onto the bar. He holds up two fingers and says “whiskey.” Blood shoots from his lip onto the counter. The bartender remembers the extra funds given earlier in the week by TIO. So, instead of calling police…he complies. He takes the card, runs it and begins to pour a couple of shots of whiskey. Meanwhile, back outside the entrance…TIO has crawled out from under the partition and lumbered near the entry…he spots Vargas at the bar, reaches his feet and staggers toward him~
Smith: The Incredible One is back on his feet…this is…well you know what I’m about to say so save me the reiteration
Hood: AMAZING
Smith: Uhh, okay…not where I was going but works all the same. It’s as though The Incredible One has something beyond his normal motivation to fight for
Hood: Do you think he bet on himself?
Smith: That’s not where I was going either!
~TIO approaches the bar. Vargas has a shot in both hands. TIO rips him around by the shoulder. Vargas glares at him through his bloodied eyes. TIO yanks a shot away. There is a tense moment…both men toast, slam the bottom of the shot glasses down, throw them back and then smash the glasses against each other’s head. They ensue in a brawl as fans scatter. Their brawl takes him against the bar…through bar stools, bumping into tables. It’s wild. The crowd in the Saloon chants “PARADIGM! PARADIGM!”~
Smith: Weird chant given the MEANING of the belt these two men are fighting for
Hood: Yea, I don’t know why they are so pumped over twenty cents
Smith: Huh?
Hood: Pair of dimes!
~TIO finally knees Vargas in the gut!! Vargas stumbles. TIO hooks him and lifts him up for a Brainbuster! But Vargas wiggles free and is standing behind TIO. He hooks him and tosses him with a Release German Suplex on to the BAR!! TIO lands and slides down the bar a bit, knocking over some drinks. The bartender is wiping out a glass, shaking his head. He adds the damages up on the card Vargas gave him. Chad climbs atop a stool and yells out “KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!!” He beats his chest in a drunken, bloody display of bravado. He steps onto the bar and makes his way toward TIO~
Smith: Vicious suplex by Vargas. I have to say, it’s nice to see a rare wrestling move in this Paradigm division.
Hood: Do you think they are going to reenact Coyote Ugly?
Smith: I certainly hope not
Hood: Yea, I doubt their dance act would garner those pair of dimes…more like a pair of cuffs
~Vargas pulls TIO up. TIO shoves him back. He reaches up and grabs a wine glass hanging from above the bar. He hits Vargas with it. Vargas grabs one himself and he hits TIO with it. They go on like this with several glasses. The bartender continues adding to TIO’s tab~
Smith: That tab is gonna rival something you’d see from a musician
Hood: Like Adele’s meal tab at a steakhouse?
Smith: RUDE! I love Adele!!
Hood: Hey, I didn’t say anything negative about her voice
~The two drunk, aggressive, determined wrestlers finish smashing the wine glasses. TIO throws a wild lariat. Vargas ducks and he drops TIO on top of the bar with THE STROKE!! The place erupts!! Vargas falls off the bar due to its narrow width. He climbs back up and pins TIO with his knees firmly planted in the seat of a bar stool. Puff comes hustling in, breathing heavily. He drops to the ground and makes the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!!
Smith: TIO kicked out of The Stroke!!
Hood: I blame Puff
Smith: He was later than usual…I don’t know WHY he wasn’t near the action
Hood: Seriously? Are you watching these two? Who wants to be near these guys…aside from the bartender who keeps dipping into TIO’s bank account.
~Vargas sits back in the stool and catches a breather. Puff, though, seems more exhausted. TIO rolls onto his side and coughs up a bit of blood. It hits the bartender in the pants. He makes a notation on TIO’s tab for new clothing. Determination re-grips Vargas and he climbs onto the bar. He grabs TIO and yanks him back to his feet. Vargas spots a nearby table. He places his arm around the back of TIO’s head and neck…he’s preparing for a Stroke off the bar, through the table~
Smith: If he hits this…more than the match could be over
Hood: True, that table will never be used again
Smith: Or, you know, TIO’s career
Hood: Pssh, he’ll be fine
~TIO fights free with elbows. Vargas stumbles and sways, nearly falling off the bar. TIO lifts him up into a powerbomb position. Vargas freaks out. He grabs hold of the wooden station above their heads that holds the wine glasses. He hangs from there, kicking at TIO. TIO tries fighting off the kicks as Vargas is clearly attempting to kick TIO off the bar~
Smith: I think Vargas knew what was coming
Hood: I think he calls this the Bicycle
Smith: Okay, that’s slightly funny but still inappropriate
Hood: Lance fucking Armstrong air cycling!
~TIO lunges forward and he punches Vargas right in the crotch!!! Vargas is about to let go but TIO grabs him. He lifts him up for a powerbomb and leaps off the bar…he drops Vargas THROUGH the table with YOU’RE INCREDIBLE FUCKED!! The table splinters in half with anger. It was stiff and didn’t want to break. TIO remains seated with Vargas’ legs in his face and Chad’s shoulders to the ground. Puff stumbles in and counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd gives an applause for what they’ve just witnessed~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….AND STILL OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!
Smith: What a match!! I think this one was closer than their last one
Hood: I know it had more alcohol!
Smith: Indeed…as much as I hate to admit it…TIO earned it this go around. He’s having a run in 2017 that is certainly living up to that name he so arrogantly wears.
Hood: Fucking Vargas…man that dude is as badass as they come…
Smith: For every big fight there has to be a winner and, unfortunately, a loser. Vargas will be back, nothing can keep the Confederate Icon down.
~Some OCW medics rush in to check Vargas out. TIO staggers to his feet as Puff raises his hand and hands him the Paradigm Championship. TIO hoists the belt up and places it on his shoulder as he begins to slowly walk out of the Hog’s Breath Saloon. He stops though at the door frame, looking back at a bloodied and beaten Chad Vargas starting to get back up, with the help of the medics. TIO clenches his fist before running over and smashing Vargas in the head with his foot. The medics try to stop the assault but not wanting any interference, TIO grabs the referee and throws him over the bar, smashing him into bottles of alcohol and empty glasses~
Smith: Geezus TIO is a man possessed. He already won the brawl, isn’t that enough?
Hood: No man, he said he was going to end Vargas. Now that TIO has successfully defended his title he’s making a statement!
Smith: He won the match! Isn’t that enough?
Hood: Not for Mr. Incredible.
~TIO grabs Vargas by his hair and starts dragging him out of the bar through their wreckage of broken tables, chairs, and glass everywhere. Once outside, TIO picks Vargas up in a power bomb position and smashes his back against the brick wall of the saloon. He then finds a car parked on the side of the road and slams Vargas’ back into the side of the car, shattering one of the side windows. Not giving Vargas anytime to breath, TIO brings him to his feet and whips him into the side mirror head first, causing the mirror to fly off on the side of the road. An OCW fan tries to stop TIO from assaulting Vargas anymore but TIO pushes him, grabs the side mirror and levels it against the fans head, causing him to fall instantly onto the sidewalk~
Smith: How can you condone this, Hood?
Hood: It’s the alcohol. Blame the liquor! TIO is usually an outstanding citizen.
Smith: RIGHT…
~Turning his attention back to Vargas, TIO grabs him by his hair again and starts whispering words to him that the camera can’t pick up. He lifts Vargas onto his shoulders and climbs atop the broken car and screams before delivering a nasty “You’re Incredibly Fucked!” Argentine Piledriver on the windshield of the car; the windshield shattering and Vargas’ head going through the windshield and the plastic dashboard. Vargas’ body lay on the hood of the car, motionless, as TIO goes back into the bar and grabs a bottle of whiskey. He comes back out, takes the lid off and drinks half the bottle before pouring the rest over Vargas’ body. He throws the empty whiskey bottle away before stumbling towards the camera man to speak~
TIO: C-can they hear me… yeah? Fine. L-listen here, OCW. I told you that I would fuckin’ destroy C-c-h-had Vargas AND I FUCKING DID! I am your supremeee OCW Paradigmmm Champ, hic, and I am the greatest OCW Champion today. No one can touch me, no one can touch the Apt-Apti-Aptitude! I am the GREATEST FUCKING WRESTLER ALIVE TODAY! I’d also like to dedicate this moment to my daughter I j-just found out about… this is for you--
~TIO puts his finger up for a moment, stopping, before puking in front of the camera and falling to one knee and then passing out in the street. Law enforcement and paramedics finally show up to check up on both competitors and survey the damage as we cut back to the OCW Arena~
Smith: And there’s our Paradigm Champion, folks…passed out, in a puddle of puke, in the middle of a Key West road
Hood: Hey, if you don’t like it, you shouldn’t be here
Smith: I’m just saying…
Hood: Those guys drank probably a bottle of whiskey each…the fact that they can still stand, let alone pull off fucking wrestling moves is pretty impressive. I’d give each of them an OCW Title.
Smith: Yea because THAT wouldn’t dilute the product
Hood: I’ll dilute YOUR product
Smith: Whatever that means. Well folks, it’s been a great night…we’ve seen it all…I think. I’m exhausted, Hood’s starting to get a buzz on so I think this is as good a time as any to call it quits.
~We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Whew, what a match. One of the wildest brawls in company history. This was during a time when The Aptitude was nearing full strength. Chad Vargas, Treat Cassidy, and Mack O’Connor were doing everything in their power to derail the charging faction. On this night, Vargas would fall short.
~We cut. Cheasy follows~
Cheasy M: And now, four years later, TIO finds himself on the opposite end of a movement. With GM Who’Re and her strides toward a cleaner, updated version of OCW...TIO is on the outside looking in.
~A quick image of Tony Savage is shown~
Cheasy M: But, for all you TIO fans, the emergence of Tony Savage has given him hope. Can Tony Savage, as acting CFO, do enough to get TIO back into an OCW ring? Or, as the recently inducted Hall of Famer Vincent Langston might say, is the situation FUBAR? I guess we’ll have to wait and see! Anyway, we’ve got an interview with Outcast coming up...so, let’s head to commercial!
~Commercial~
~We cut backstage to see Dylan and Lissandra Thomas talking in the green room. They do like hanging around the Piledriver set. Without any knocking or warning, the door flies open! Mike Zybala walks in and looks right at Dylan. Dylan jumps to his feet and gets ready for a brawl~
Dylan: What the hell do you want?!
Zybala: House of Cards….
Dylan: What about it?
Zybala: Nobody likes you really. And with Pryde fucking with Pete's head, I'm not anyone's favorite either. So I suggest that weuuuuuh…
~Zybala looks physically ill; as if he is going to throw up. He composes himself, takes a few deep breaths and continues~
Zybala: We…..should…...teeeeeeam…… up…… Lord Jesus, that was rough…
~Zybala looks at Dylan, waiting for a response. Dylan smirks. He looks at Lissandra who, herself, smirks~
Dylan: Sure, why the hell not?
~Zybala looks at Dylan wondering how and why that was so easy~
Lissandra: Surprised? We’re not unreasonable, Zybala.
Dylan: Yeah. You help me out with Outcast… I’ve got you against Vaughn. As you say, House of Cards is dog-eat-dog. And….
~Dylan pauses~
Lissandra: Lord Allton seems to like you, so for his sake….we can team up for now.
~Dylan nods, holding out his hand for a shake, Zybala looks skeptical~
Dylan: Oh come on! Grow up. What, you think I’m gonna jump you as you leave the green room? That wouldn’t exactly leave me in a good place, would it?
~Lissandra rolls her eyes and grabs some hand sanitizer and sanitizes Dylan’s hands as well as her own. She then sighs~
Lissandra: Is THAT better?
~Zybala looks at the hand and with a look of self loathing in his face, shakes Dylan's hand. Surprisingly, neither man tries the overplayed intimidating hand squeeze. They just shake once and release~
Zybala: Like you said, Mrs. Thomas, we have a common friend in Allton. For his sake, I can put aside our differences for one night. It would be a pleasant change for both of us not having to worry about the other blindsiding the other.
~Zybala then nods as he walks out the door. Dylan and Lissandra look at one another~
Lissandra: Well… this is interesting.
Dylan: Is everything in place?
Lissandra: Yeah, we’re good to go.
Dylan: Excellent…
~Dylan and Lissandra fold their arms with a smirk, watching the door as the camera fades~
~We go to what is now the very familiar hospital room of Marcus Welsh. He is laying in bed, happily eating his Goobers while watching something on a tablet. Zybala is sitting next to him, watching the tablet as well. They soon finish what they were watching as Marcus puts down the tablet~
Zybala: Well, that was Dystopia: Double X. What do you think of my little backyard fed, Marcus?
~Welsh hands the tablet back. We're not quite sure how to read his facial expression~
Marcus Welsh: It certainly was something.
~He pauses for a bit. It seems to have made an impact~
Marcus Welsh: Maybe I could help out?
Zybala: Oh? Help out you say? Exactly what did you have in mind? Not planning some hostile takeover, are you?
~Zybala gives Welsh a wink and a nudge~
Marcus Welsh: Oh no, I could never do what you do, Mike. This stuff...it's so different, it has to be ingenious. I'm going to be getting out of here soon and when I do I'll need something to do. Figured what better way to return to society than working alongside my best friend.
~Zybala turns away for a moment so Welsh can't see the tears building up in his eyes. Welsh called Zybala his best friend!! 2018 Welsh would have never done that. Zybala quickly composes himself and turns to Welsh~
Zybala: I'm sure that I can find a job for you. Who knows? Maybe I'll even let you make a lineup for a future card. You can make your very own Dystopia show!
~Welsh gets so excited at this offer that he sits up and turns sideways, feet dangling off the bed. Zybala's back is still facing him. Welsh quietly pushes himself off the mattress. He nearly stumbles into the wall...but, he catches himself. He finds some balance and slowly hobbles his way around the front of the bed, toward Zybala. He taps Zybala on the shoulder. Zybala turns around~
Marcus Welsh: It would be an honor
~ Zybala gasps. ~
Zybala: Marcus! You're walking!
~ Caught up in the moment, Zybala hugs Welsh. Perhaps a bit to enthusiastically as he accidentally pulls a cord from a machine. The machine starts peeping rapidly as Zybala and Welsh look at it and laugh. ~
Zybala: The honor would be all mine.... Mr. Welsh. A match maker needs to sound distinguished, after all.
~The hug ends. Welsh extends a hand. Zybala shakes it. The two share a hearty laugh as some medical machine beeps wildly in the background. We cut back to OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Mike Zybala and Marcus Welsh continue to grow as friends...not sure about you guys, but I haven't seen a more likable duo since the Danger Boiz.
~HUGE laughs in the studio and from the people watching at home. Which is ironic given the fact Cheasy wasn't trying to be funny. But, he takes it~
Cheasy M: Alright! Well, it's that timeof the week again, OCW fans...it's INTERVIEW TIME.
Cheasy M: Joining me this week is the current OCW Paradigm Champion. The man who will face Dylan Thomas at House of Cards. Tonight, I'm pleased to have Outcast alongside me.
~Our view expands, showing Outcast seated to Cheasy's right~
Cheasy M: Outcast, how are we doing this evening?
Outcast: Better than I deserve, but not as good as I could be.
~Cheasy nods. Not much arguing a person's view on how they personally stand~
Cheasy M: At Quarantined you walked out with the Paradigm Championship. A title many talented wrestlers have been proud to wear in the past. Yet, it seems as though you look at it as failure...why is that?
Outcast: I wouldn't expect you, or anyone else in OCW for that matter to understand. A bronze medalist is still an Olympian, but you don't see them on the cover of a Wheaties box. I didn’t come back to GCWA to be X-Division champion, and I didn't come back to OCW to e Paradigm champion, I didn't crawl out of Hell and defeat the Demons that have taken so many other wrestlers for third place. I didn't come back to be a gatekeeper. I came back to be a champion. Not a champion for the people, and not to prove myself to the fans and the other boys, but to be a champion for me, to prove something to myself. To... to prove that my entire life hasn't been a f**king waste.
~Before Cheasy can ask another question, Outcast interrupts asking~
Outcast: Mind if I smoke?
~Cheasy looks around. Who'Re, standing to the side, doesn't seem to object. So, Cheasy nods...Outcast is already in the process of lighting his cigarette~
Cheasy M: Smoke if you got em, right?
~Outcast doesn't laugh~
Cheasy M: You and Dylan Thomas spent the majority of Quarantined locked in a cage against each other. And, for most of that time, you appeared to our wrestle Mr. Thomas. You also di a good job of weakening his right knee. At House of Cards, you'll face Dylan Thomas once again...do you feel your experience inside the cage at Quarantined will help? Or do you think the 'rematch' factor will aid Dylan Thomas?
~Outcast exhales slowly and gives a smirk.~
Outcast: I think if I was suffering an inflamed heart from getting the jab I'd still kick the sht out of Dylan Thomas. That boy isn't built for a battle with me. He's too soft, too pampered, and in all honesty, doesn't have the mental toughness to hang with me. I haven't won my matches by being stronger, faster, or smarter, I've won them by being the toughest son of a btch around. I can get my ass kicked and keep going like no one else. It's about heart, and Dylan Thomas and I could run this thing back a thousand times and nine-hundred and ninty nine I'm going to beat him on pure heart.
~Cheasy does the math. It equates to a very confident Outcast~
Cheasy M: I dig the confidence, sir! Normally, Dylan Thomas would be your only concern...however, given the stipulation for House of Cards, you'll be forced to look over your shoulder the entire night. Are you planning any alliances? Are there any competitors you are especially leery of heading into the event?
Outcast: My whole life I've been able to count on three people, me, myself, and I. Anytime I team up with someone they just let me down. And the few people who have counted on me in the past...
~Outcast shakes his head slolwy and takes a drag from the Newport~
Outcast: Well, I've just let them down. I'm a loner, you know an Outcast.
~Outcast exhales with a smile.~
Outcast: Pardon the shitty pun. But, no, there are no alliances for me. As for looking over my shoulder, I know Vaughn and Zybala are both looking my way. Vaughn is looking to upgrade his championship, and Zybala is looking to upgrade his condiment game. Well, just like when I order wings and the dip shit waiter brings me blu cheese instead of ranch, they'll be disapointed.
~Cheasy holds up a bag of SUPERKICKS...the Mike Zybala Bleu Cheese flavored potato chips~
Cheasy M: So, I guess you won't be purchasing any of these, then?
Outcast: Let me put it this way. There were times in my childhood where I ate from a dumpster, and I still wouldn't eat those.
~Cheasy slowly puts the chips under the desk. Sorry he brought them up~
Cheasy M: Yea, we'll just get those out of the way. There we go. So, there's a lot of smoke billowing around the OCW mountaintop that if you're able to defeat Dylan Thomas you'll be in line for an OCW Title shot. Have you heard those rumors? And, if so, is that something you're using as added motivation heading into House of Cards?
Outcast: I don't keep up with the rumor mill, I only deal in realities. The reality is I was one of the final three men in the prison yard match, but I didn't eliminate a single motherf**ker in the match. That leaves me on the outside looking in at the world title at House of Cards, while some guy no one ever heard of before two months ago in Brim is going for the title.
The reality is, I've been one step behind Xavier Lux for too damn long and I've got my sights set on him, and whatever comes next he is at the top of my list.
As for Dylan Thomas, the reality is I'm not going to beat him, no, I'm going to absolutely destroy him and leave no doubt that I should be next in one for an OCW title shot.
~Cheasy nods. Outcast seems very determined~
Cheasy M: Xavier Lux will compete at the conclusion of your match. You'll have the option of sticking around or calling it a night. Are you planning on sticking around to watch or possibly interfere in the main event...OR are you going to just let it play out. AND, will the result of your match impact your decision?
Outcast: Interfere...I'm a pretty big piece of shit, but I'm not that big of a piece of shit. I don't want an astricts beside my name when it finally goes in the OCW championship history book. Na, I want to prove to myself that I am worthy of being champion.
I plan on taking a seat at ringside, front row, and watching Brim and Xavier go toe to toe. Then, whoever gets their hand raised, the first thing they will have to do is look me in the eye and know that I'm coming for their head
~Cheasy leans forward, giving Outcast his full attention. A very serious look on Cheasy's face~
Cheasy M: And the matches preceding yours? Thaddeus Duke versus Ed Houston. Mike Zybala taking on Peter Vaughn. Any chance you might...interject in one of those?
~Outcast gives a smug grin and pulls the Newport from his mouth before leaning in closer to Cheasy. Outcast begins to speak but in a whisper.-
Outcast: Actually... I could give a f**k less about those four.
~Outcast leans back and puts the Newport in his mouth and speaks again as he inhales.~
Outcast: I got nothing against them, well except Zybala. But when you are claiming a mountain you don't look down, you keep your eyes on the summit of that mountain. That is exactly what I'm doing, and only when I reach the top will I look back down. But I'll only be looking down to see who I need to kick back down the mountain.
~Cheasy nods. He pulls out a candy cigarette, placing it in his mouth to feel included~
Cheasy M: Strong words. Anything else you'd like to add?
Outcast: Yeah, just one more thing.
~Outcast turns sideways look directly into the hard camera. He exhales smoke from his nose and then flips the cigarette butt at the camera.~
Outcast: Xavier, win, lose, or draw at House of Cards, our paths will soon intersect. I'm not yielding when we get the crossing and I'm pretty damn sure you aren't either. Some day, someday real soon I'm going to get you one on one and we are going to see who the toughest motherf**ker with daddy issues really is.
Dyan, don't think I'm looking past you, na, I'm looking through you, cause I'm about to blow right through you and to the OCW championship scene.
~Cheasy nods~
Cheasy M: Well, I for one can't wait to see you against Dylan Thomas at House of Cards...and, the eventual match up against Xavier Lux. So much to look forward to! Thanks for joining me, Outcast! It was a pleasure!
~We cut to break~
~The video switches to a view from the prestigious Barrows Enterprises building, formerly the home of the Global Championship Wrestling Association's management. Now, it's run solely by Jonathan "Pryde" Barrows, thanks to a buy-out of the assets of his father, The Accelerator. We move down the busy hallway to the back room office of Barrows, who is shown talking to various assistants as he multi-tasks, also sending off messages from the laptop in front of him.~
Jonathan Barrows: Okay, that takes care of the footage request from overseas. Who knew they'd pay so much for footage of guys like Xtreme and Harvey Danger getting the shit beat out of them.
Assistant #1: Sir, I have the paperwork here on those GCWA Remembrance figurines you wanted put together.
Jonathan Barrows: Did they make the mold right this time for the Bifford likenesses?
Assistant #1: They... tried their best.
Jonathan Barrows: Understood. Hand it over.
~Barrows takes the paperwork, giving it a quick glance over, before signing his name to it, making it official. He looks over at the second assistant, who is waiting anxiously.~
Jonathan Barrows: Have you heard back from Xavier Lux's people?
Assistant #2: Uh, well, there's a bit of a snag on that front...
Jonathan Barrows: Why's that?
Assistant #2: As far as I can tell, Lux doesn't have 'people' anymore. We sent a message to Paco, but we haven't heard back yet, and I don't know if that will lead anywhere, anyway...
Jonathan Barrows: Look, just get his contact info, and I'll call Lux directly. Also, make sure we send out a flower arrangement to be placed at the grave site of his mother. An act of good will is never a bad thing when you're looking to negotiate.
Assistant #2: Right.
Jonathan Barrows: Now for you...
~Jonathan points to the third assistant.~
Jonathan Barrows: Did Miss Who'Re get back with us regarding the plan I suggested?
Assistant #3: She did. I can't say she was all too interested, but once I explained that it was perfectly legal according to the contract, she seemed to be fine with it. At the very least, she didn't threaten legal action later or anything.
Jonathan Barrows: Good. Now I just need to meet with Peter... oh, speak of the devil, and he shall appear...
~The assistants all turn, showing Peter "The Janitor" Vaughn standing behind them. He looks extremely on edge, almost shaking from what he's working to contain inside. The assistants all take a noticeable step backwards. Barrows, however, doesn't seem affected by it.~
Jonathan Barrows: The rest of you, get out of here. I need to meet with my top star.
~They all quickly leave, scooting past Vaughn, who doesn't move. Barrows gestures towards a seat, but Vaughn seems too wound up.~
Jonathan Barrows: Peter... you seem a bit high-strung today. How did you visit go with your old friend?
~Vaughn shakes his head, looking down at his hands. Perhaps, in his mind, he's still seeing the blood on them. It's a gesture that Barrows has seen before, leading to a small sigh from him.~
Jonathan Barrows: It went that badly, I take it?
Peter Vaughn: I... I lost control, sir.
Jonathan Barrows: It's "Jonathan", Peter, remember?
Peter Vaughn: I just... all I saw was the wrongs done to me... and I kept thinking about Zybala... and I just... I couldn't help it!
~Vaughn clenches and un-clenches his fists, looking like he could go berserk again at any moment. Jonathan presses a button on his desk.~
Jonathan Barrows: Layla, hold my calls. And send us some green tea, please. Thanks.
~Barrows settles back, gesturing for Vaughn to continue, as we slowly fade out.~
~We cut to the office of Who’Re, with her security team standing by in the room. A knock on the door breaks the silence as Who’Re motions for a member of the security to open the door. In walks CFO Tony Savage as the face of Who’Re changes from indifferent to annoyed.~
Who’Re: What do you want, Tony?
Tony Savage: You don’t remember? I pencilled in a meeting for the two of us.
Who’Re: When did you do this? I’m busy at the moment.
Tony Savage: *checks a pretend watch on his wrist* I scheduled it a few minutes ago. Besides, it’s important. It’s about the contract negotiations of TIO.
~Who’Re’s face turns bright red, as she contemplates throwing Tony out, but remains civil.~
Who’Re: Once again, TIO is not a roster member.
Tony Savage: I'm CFO, remember? I'm responsible for all financial decisions of this company. Did you not read Leo’s report on the OCW website? Interest in OCW has increased substantially and I think besides myself becoming involved, we can also thank our resident Hall of Famer, TIO.
Who’Re: Or, maybe it is the acquisition of XWF’s Thaddeus Duke? Maybe it’s because we have champions now and title matches?
Tony Savage: You make valid points, but like I said, I’ve hired TIO, and he’s here. I’m here with him to negotiate his contract.
~Before Tony and Who’Re can say another word, TIO walks into the office, staring a hole into Who’Re. Her expression reads uneasy as security focuses up, as everyone knows the history of TIO and authority figures. TIO nods at Tony, and the two of them grab a chair in front of Who’Re’s desk and sit down.~
Who’Re: Fine, I’ll humour you. That doesn’t make this official.
TIO: First off, thank you Tony for setting this meeting up…
Tony Savage: Hey man, it’s no problem. I see your value for OCW so--
TIO: ...but I won’t be needing you here.
~Tony, confused, looks at Who’Re and then back at TIO, who is just staring at Who’Re. Who’Re seems intrigued.~
Tony Savage: Um, sorry, why don’t you need me here?
TIO: I don’t need you here because I don’t want any money. I have no desire to make a single dime in this run with OCW.
Who’Re: Wait, what? Am I hearing this right? The Incredible One, one of the most notorious wrestlers ever, infamous for being a title chaser and making sure he was plastered with awards, money, and beyond - doesn’t want money?!
Tony Savage: I’m with Who’Re on this one, actually. Don’t you need money?
TIO: I haven’t needed the money for awhile. The pandemic has been kind to yours truly. No, I tried to tell you last week but I got pulled away from those idiots--
~The security team looks at each other.~
TIO: --so I am here to tell you now, since I have back up in Tony. I don’t want money, I don’t want any monthly or yearly awards. I’m done with that petty shit. I’ve done a lot of growing up in the last two years and there is only one thing that matters to me - worldwide recognition. My name in households. And I do that by becoming OCW Champion. Not Savage, not Paradigm, not Craze -- the OCW Champion. It’s simple, Who’Re, your PPV next month, I am the number one contender--
Who’Re: No, you’re not. This little charade ends now. Get him out of here.
~The security team moves past Tony and grabs TIO. TIO counters and throws one of them through Who’Re’s table and papers fly everywhere. Three of security pounce TIO at once and restrain him.~
Tony Savage: Was this necessary?
Who’Re: You may be CFO, but you do not hire people. TIO is not a roster member. At this rate, I will not hire him for next month. I don’t want nothing to do with this wannabe terrorist, coming in here demanding his shot. I call the shots!
TIO: I AM A TERRORIST!
~Who’Re glances straight at TIO, as does Tony, shocked. The security team stops as TIO is standing in the door frame, and they have him basically cuffed.~
TIO: You want to label me a terrorist, Who’Re? Fine. You’ve seen what I’ve done to President Dean, to Marcus Welsh, and anyone else who’s been in management that hasn’t accepted my wishes? I can be a great person but I get what I want. And you can do it the easy way, and make the match official…
~TIO stops to grin, his eyes maddening.~
TIO: …or I can be the terrorist you think I am. I will terrorise your roster. I will wreak havoc on your show. Not Piledriver, of course, but House of Cards - and any other PPV I’m not a part of. When I’m done with this OCW, there’ll be nothing but corpses, and then the vultures will pray on the bones of this roster.
~TIO shrugs the security team off him and just leaves on his own accord. Tony looks at Who’Re, who is processing all the information.~
Tony Savage: Just so that you are aware, he’s not kidding.
~Tony takes this moment to exit the office as well, leaving Who’Re to the mess that TIO created. We cut back to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Whew. The tension is certainly thickening between TIO and OCW. Tony Savage appears caught in the middle. If there's one thing I know about TIO...he's not one to make baseless threats. If he doesn't get what he wants he WILL do something about it come House of Cards.
~Camera cut. Cheasy spins to meet the lens~
Cheasy M: Whether or not Who'Re craves remains to be seen. In the meantime, lets focus on the eight members who are confirmed to be part of the OCW roster...by reviewing their promos! Leo, my man, get your unpaid ass in here!
~A goofy tune is played as Leo enters the studio~
~Leo finds his seat to the righ tof Cheasy. He folds his hands, professionally, ready to break down some promos~
Cheasy M; Alright, Leo!! My man! Anything exciting happen over the fourth?
Leo the High School Intern: Actually, I…
Cheasy M: Terrific! Now, let’s get to these promos!
~Leo grumbles...but, as an unpaid intern, he’s pretty damn low on the totempole. So, he moves on to the task he’s been brought on air to perform~
Leo the High School Intern: Well, I guess we’ll kick things off with the OCW Champion, Xavier Lux. He spent the past week visiting his mother’s grave, as a way to somberly celebrate his crowning achievement from Quarantined.
Cheasy M: Yep. His mother was a major influence on his life...which, I guess she’d have to be considering the fact his father, Scorpion, was absent.
Leo the High School Intern: Exactly. And while having a moment with his mother’s burial site, Paco, the other parental figure in Xavier’s life, showed up to offer some words of focus for his match at House of Cards.
Cheasy M: He also bummed some booze off of Xavier’s flask, if I recall.
Leo the High School Intern: Yes, he did do that. But, fearing Xavier was, perhaps, celebrating his win too much. Lingering too much on the past, Paco made it a point to get Xavier’s head turned forward, toward Brim and the obstacles that await at House of Cards.
Cheasy M: And then a ninja showed up.
Leo the High School Intern: Yea, something like that. Xavier realized they were being watched by a man in a mask, holding a skull. Lux gave chase and, well, that’s where we left off.
Cheasy M: Sounds dangerous...but, maybe it’ll help jolt him into his first title defense which, often times, is more difficult than winning the belt. Okay...so what’s up with Dylan Thomas and Lissandra?
Leo the High School Intern: Well, Dylan Thomas began the week by having his knee worked on...a very logical scenario given what happened at Quarantined and the time frame he has to work with before stepping into the ring with Outcast. He followed that up by having a meal with Lissandra at a very high end Hollywood restaurant. This is where she informed him of a potential alliance with Peter Vaughn.
Cheasy M: He couldn’t have taken THAT well.
Leo the High School Intern: Not at first, no. BUT, once Lissandra broke it down for him, he started to understand. She truly is the level headed one of the group. They proceeded to take a grip to Greece to learn about Leonidas and his strategy concerning war...hoping it might translate into success at House of Cards.
Cheasy M: I mean, that makes sense. Everything these two, from a logic standpoint, is solid.
Leo the High School Intern: Mhm and there’s plenty of ammunition on Dylan’s side of things. Outcast wounded his knee. Ruined his shot at winning the OCW Title...so he’d love nothing more than to take the Paradigm Title from Outcast, placing him into the OCW Title conversation.
Cheasy M: Well he’s certainly got that chance. Dylan Thomas is in total control of his future. So, what’s Peter Vaughn up to these days?
Leo the High School Intern: Well, like Lux, he spent some of the week discussing things with his mentor, Pryde...who Vaughn can now refer to as Jonathan. They discussed House of Cards while Vaughn traveled down a highway before exiting to enter into a dump.
Cheasy M: Oh, nice...returning to his roots as a plumber? Tossing away some old memories in the hopes of furthering his character rehabilitation?
Leo the High School Intern: Turns out he followed an old high school bully, beat him within an inch of his life, tossed him into a trash compactor and nearly crushed him to death before deciding to leave him be.
Cheasy M: Oh. Oh my gosh.
Leo the High School Intern: Yes, Peter Vaughn is still very angry. Very much changed. And he’s looking very forward to getting his hands on Mike Zybala.
Cheasy M: Can’t believe I’m about to say this...but how about something a little more uplifting...a little more cheerful. What’s BRIM up to?
Leo the High School Intern: Brim had some interesting interactions with Byson. He offered Byson some money to gather supplies for their bunker...but the longer it went, the less he began to trust him...eventually taking his money back in a confrontation that nearly got physical.
Cheasy M: Yea, I can imagine given his upbringing that it’d be hard for Brim to trust people.
Leo the High School Intern: Yep. But he is staying in shape by chopping wood...hard work, if you’ve ever tried it. And their bunker seems to be taking off...a good amount of people were moving around down there. But, if you’re worried about his focus, or lack thereof, don’t be. Brim knows what it’s like to lose everything...and it’s something he’s in no hurry to experience again. He’s very focused on defeating Lux at House of Cards.
Cheasy M: And that brings us to Ed Houston. What’s the Rocketman up to?
Leo the High School Intern: Back into the charity field. Ed showed up at a silent auction and noticed an item for his movie ‘Meteor’ featured a comically low bid of $25...so he bumped it up to $100.
Cheasy M: Seems like that charity for himself more than others.
Leo the High School Intern: Yea, could definitely be perceived that way. He then spotted a bid for a tour at NASA...he wound up engaging in a bidding war with a lawyer...a lawyer whom he compared to Thaddeus Duke. The lawyer was simply too financially powerful for Ed to outbid...leaving Ed frustrated.
Cheasy M: Kinda like how he feels about his match with Thaddeus?
Leo the HIgh School Intern: Yes. I think Ed feels, once again, he’s been thrust into the role of the underdog. It’s a role he’s very comfortable playing...but one, I’m sure, he’s hoping to leave behind...at some point. If he can defeat Duke at House of Cards, that’ll go a long way in finally shedding that underdog disguise.
Cheasy M: Well, it certainly sounds as though Week 1 was eventful...I can’t wait for some news on Week 2!
Leo the High School Intern: Yep...I’ve been told both Outcast and Dylan Thomas are scheduled to drop promos at some point today. Outside of that, it’s been a slow week...which is to be expected given the holiday.
Cheasy M: Right on...well, we’re just about two weeks out from House of Cards...tension rises, conflicts continue to build, and war is on the horizon. As always, thanks for your reviews, Leo!
Leo the High School Intern: Hey. That’s what I’m here for.
Cheasy M: Alright! Let’s cut to commercial...when we come back we’ll go over the updated OCW Rankings! Stay tuned!
~We cut to commercial~
~We cut outside of the OCW arena. It's looking better than it has been. But what's next to it?! Why, it's the Garden of Betrayal!! GCWA fans will remember this from the build up to The Brack Friday Bunduru match at Warriors of the Ring V! For OCW fans who never watched GCWA, The Garden was originally on OCW Survivor: season 2 where Zybala would talk to the other contestants about who they should vote off The Island. Anyways, we see Ed Houston in front of the door, clutching a piece of paper. He glances over it, probably wondering how Zybala had the whole thing transferred from Texas to Florida. He enter the greenhouse. The Garden is a serene sight. Houston looks around and sees Zybala tending to some flowers. Houston walks over and pats Zybala on the shoulder. Zybala turns around and smiles. Zybala offers a handshake, which Houston accepts~
Zybala: Ed! Always a pleasure. Thank you for accepting my invitation. Welcome back to The Garden!
Houston: “Mike. It’s nice to see you again. I knew I couldn’t stay out of the garden for too long. What’s on your mind?”
Zybala: I wish to bury the hatchet between us over this whole Meteor thing. I admit that I may have went a little too fan boy in the product and I took it way out of control and wish to offer my most sincere apologies.
~Zybala stands up, brushes off his hands and extends the right to Ed…~
Houston: “I appreciate it, Mike. It was a great movie so I can understand why you got caught up in the moment. It has quite the cult following. It really could’ve been the Sharknado of outer space movies but it's okay, man. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.”
Zybala: If you ever change your mind, I'd be totally on board to make it a franchise. But that isn't the only reason I asked you here….
~Zybala starts to walk into The Garden. Being here before, Ed knows the routine and follows. The two men admire the exotic flowers and birds that live here. Zybala picks a nearby flower and hands it to Ed~
Zybala: We've been friends in this business for a long time. We've been tag champs before and work well together. So I wanted to ask if you would like to form an alliance for House of Cards? You watch my back and I watch yours.
Houston: “I think that makes a lot of sense. There’s a lot at stake at House of Cards. It would make sense to team up with the guy I know the best. I’m down for it.”
Zybala: Excellent! With us watching out for each other, victory is assured! You get a title shot and I get a title. I'll even help you out with whoever you want to help… Except Outcast…. I have my reasons….
~Ed extends his hand~
Houston: "Sounds good man. I look forward to this prosperous relationship."
~The two men shake hands as we cut back to commercial~
OCW Presents: House of Cards
LIVE! Sunday, July 25th, 2021
Location: OCW Arena
OCW Championship
Paradigm Championship
Craze Championship
Contenders Match
**Roleplaying starts Monday, June 28th. It ends Sunday, July 18th. 3 weeks to post 3 roleplays. 1 roleplay per week. 2k max. Deadline each week is always Sunday at 11:59pm CST. Roleplay window for each week is Monday-Sunday. You cannot post more than 1 rolepay per week.**
No Disqualification Match
Xavier Lux (c) vs. Brim (c)
Ladder Match
Outcast (c) vs. Dylan Thomas
Hazardous Ladder Match
Peter Vaughn (c) vs. Mike Zybala
Caged Ladder Match
Ed Houston vs. Thaddeus Duke
~We cut back to the OCW Studio...and, more importantly, Cheasy M~
Cheasy M: And we’re back! An updated view of the OCW rankings are right around the corner...but first...we’ve got a special treat for ya...coming to us LIVE via satellite is OCW’s newest signing...the man bringing ALL THE EYES to the product...I’m, of course, talking about Thaddeus Duke! Mr. Duke, what’s up?
~We get a split screen shot~
“Thanks Weezy,”
~Thad says as he approaches a podium, his XWF Hart Championship sits on display~
“It’s Cheasy,”
~M interrupts.~
“Yeah whatever,”
~Thad replies as he clears his throat~
“Please accept my sincerest apologies for my absence tonight. I kind of have a previous engagement.”
~Thad lifts his title from the podium ever so slightly, before laying it back down~
“I don’t have a lot of time because I got work to do here too, but I wanted to take a moment to address the OCW roster. I wanted to address the roster because they don’t know me. They see my charisma and arrogance and thinks that’s all there is to Thaddeus Duke.
“I think a lot of OCW has it in their mind that I’m somehow their enemy…
“I am NOT your enemy.
“I’m not your friend either, but an enemy I am not. The goal here, evidenced by my signing with OCW, is to make it bigger than its ever been and I can’t wrestle myself.
“That being said, I’ve always had the unique ability of painting targets on my own back in new and exciting ways. The truth of the matter is real fuckin’ simple: I don’t care if its 7 on 1, 6 on 2, 5 on 3…
“I’m not asking anyone to help me at House of Cards, but I will appeal to your sensibilities. If you think that signing me was some kind of a mistake, that signing me is somehow detrimental to the future of OCW… then by all means… let me have it at House of Cards.
“But if you think that me coming to OCW can help you, help me, and help this company… then slide into my DM’s.”
Thad looks down a moment, then back up at the camera.
“It seems Xavier Lux is so far the only man on the OCW roster that has a brain in his head,”
~Thad begins~
“X, lemme tell you why you can trust me. Sooner or later, I AM coming for what you got. That’s pretty evident. What you don’t know Lux, is that when it’s time, I’ll stand face to face with you. I’ll look you in the eye and tell you man to man that I’m coming for it.
“Now if y’all will excuse me… I have a legend to piss off, a 6 foot 10 inch Redwood to cut down, and then I’m getting drunk with Atty…”
Thad steps away from the podium and off camera. Seconds later, he pokes his head back into the picture.
“Not THAT Adi, she’s mad at me. I meant Atara Themis.”
~The feed cuts. Our split screen slides into a singular shot of a disappointed Cheasy~
Cheasy M: I didn't get to ask any questions
~He's somber for a minute before remembering he's LIVE. He perks back up~
Cheasy M: Good luck tonight, Thaddeus! And have fun with Atty...not to be confused with Adi...she's nothing short of amazing in person, trust me. I speak from experience.
~He doesn't. He's never even met Atty. But, whatever. The camera cuts. He shifts along with it~
Cheasy M: And now...it's time for an updated look at the OCW Rankings!
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Cheasy M: And there they are...a slow week for OCW Champion, Xavier Lux. Barely bumping his total up to 17. Big week for Dylan Thomas, making up a ton of ground on the champion. Peter Vaughn and Mike Zybala holding strong to round out the top four.
~Cheasy continues to read the standings~
Cheasy M: Outcast with a nice jump. Brim with more movement this week than last. Ed Houston, also, jumping up a bit. But how about Thaddeus Duke? In two weeks he’s gone from 0 to 6 points. At this rate, he’ll be near the top of these rankings by the time House of Cards rolls around.
~The standings disappear. Cheasy spins around, looking right into the camera~
Cheasy M: Dissatisfied with your ranking? Promos, CD pieces, newswire posts, show reviews, segments...they all contribute to your overall score. And, what does this ranking mean, you ask? Well, just look at Dylan Thomas and Mike Zybala...title shots. A leg up on the field when it comes time to book.
~Cheasy finishes preaching. We’re winding down now~
Cheasy M: And that just about does it for tonight. House of Cards is nearly 2 weeks away! Holy smokes! Airing on Sunday, July 25th...four marquee matches, three titles on the line...intrigue, alliance, and betrayal! Be sure to order House of Cards so you can take part in an event unlike any other in OCW history!
~The outro starts to play~
Cheasy M: And that’s it for this week’s episode of Wednesday Night Piledriver. Stay tuned to the OCW Network with 8 promos scheduled to drop by Sunday, at midnight. Also, if you’re looking for something wild and wacky...check out OCW TV, managed by Adi Goldblum! I’ll catch all you crazy cats next Wednesday right here on the OCW network! Take it easy and keep it cheasy!
~We fade to black~