Wednesday, July 28th, 2021
Taped from the OCW Studio
Episode #11
~An add for some pill called Niagara. It’s kinda like the opposite of Viagra. It offers you a sweet release before eradicating that obvious and, at times, cumbersome boner. Which comes in real fuckin handy for this audience given the fact they’re all sporting MAJOR HARD-ONS after what went down at House of Cards this past Sunday. Oh, and you lady fans, don’t feel left out...immediately following the ad for NIAGARA...we get an ad for super absorbent undergarments for all you ladies to purchase and sport for OCW’s next PPV event. They come in both silk and laced. Very classy. Anyway...these ads end and we get that OCW LOGO. It fades into a shot of Xavier Lux celebrating his victory over BRIM~
Smith: Xavier Lux has done it! He’s retained! He’s defeated BRIM, proving last month was no fluke!
~Our view fades from Lux celebrating to a shot of Outcast dragging Xavier’s OCW Title into the ring. A staredown ensues between two injured, exhausted warriors~
Smith: Lux’s celebration has been halted prematurely! There stands the man he’ll have to go through if he wants to remain champion after Under the Lights!
Hood: Fuckin Outcast, man. He’s finally getting what he wants.
Smith: Indeed! And I think this will be Xavier’s toughest test to date!
~A final shot of these two is captured and stilled. It turns to black and white before burning away and into the OCW PILEDRIVER STUDIO! The same ole groovy tune plays as Cheasy M is tapping a pencil against his desk, vibing to the tune~
Cheasy M: What’s up, everybody! Welcome to another episode of the hit show...PILEDRIVER! I’m your host, Cheasy M and do we have a fun show in store! We’ll recap all the happenings from House of Cards...what a show, right?
~Cheasy fans himself as though he’s overheated just thinking about it~
Cheasy M: How about those Rankings? Lots of points added and names tacked on...we’ll get an updated view of those, too! And…
~Cheasy slaps his desk to build up anticipation~
Cheasy M: We’ll hand out the awards for the month of July! Who won what? We’ll find out later in the show! But first…
~Cheasy turns, the camera cuts. We get a shot of Crash Rodriguez~
Cheasy M: Crash Rodriguez was one of FIVE major signings this past Sunday at House of Cards...and, we’ll hear from the returning star, along with his representative, Lou Pohl, later on in the show. But...for those of you who need a refresher on Crash...well, I recommend we dig into...THE VAULT
~Cheasy points to the FROM THE VAULT logo~
Cheasy M: Two years ago, Crash was riding a wave of momentum. Undefeated, he marched into his first OCW Pay Per View with a Craze Title shot against Ed Houston. The match would go down as one of the best Craze matches in OCW history...so, let’s take a look back at Crash taking on Ed Houston for the vacant Craze Title at Redacted!
OCW Craze Championship
Ed Houston (27-15) vs. Crash Rodriguez (3-0)
font ~The very polite, organized, heavily lectured North Korean audience stands in silence. The giant OCWTron hanging behind the ring (from where they are standing), displays a graphic showing Ed Houston and Crash Rodriguez. The fans clap. Belvedere, standing inside the ring, his back facing the fans, does his JAWB~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is for the OCW Craze Championship!!! Introducing first…
~"21st Century Schizoid Man" by Ozzy Osbourne hits! The fans turn and watch as one of the fastest rising stars in OCW, Crash Rodriguez, emerges from the building off in the distance. He hustles down the steps and takes a sharp right. He’s far off from our POV. The local reporters and cameramen surrounding him, taking photos. Crash seems focused. He takes a sharp left, turning toward the ring. Crash retains his focus despite the strange surroundings. He reaches the ring and heads around a corner, facing the North Korean leaders. He takes a bow before turning around and sliding into the ring, ready for competition~
Belvedere: From Kansas City, Missouri…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 204lbs…he is “The Crooked Man” Crash Rodriguez!!!
Smith: Huge night for Crash Rodriguez!
Hood: He faces one of OCW’s toughest veterans. If he can knock Ed off that’d give him a title within a month of joining.
Smith: Indeed, the list of people within OCW who have achieved that feat is short and impressive.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring hits!! The fans in attendance clap, giving their unwavering, practiced reaction. Ed Houston emerges from the building in the background with something under his arm. He hustles down the steps, making the turn. He shrugs off each cameraman that gets a little too close. He throws a few kicks, ensuring his personal space remains capacious. Ed makes the hard left, approaching the ring. The North Korean crowd stirs…as much as a North Korean crowd can stir. Ed’s body language is giving off a very negative vibe. Ed reaches the ring and marches around the corner, facing the leaders~
Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs…he is a former OCW Craze and Paradigm Champion…he is Ed Houston!!!
Smith: Ed Houston showing a new, harsh attitude.
Hood: I kinda like this Ed. This Ed might have graduated from NASA.
Smith: Yea, well I…OH MY GOSH
~Houston reveals the item he carried to the ring. It’s an oversized photo of Neil Armstrong planting the AMERICAN flag on the Moon!!! He’s instantly tackled by North Korean security!! The North Korean fans in attendance murmur with confusion. The picture is instantly destroyed. Houston is about to be dragged away…our POV twists over to Welsh and KJU. Welsh is in heavy negotiations with KJU. KJU sighs and motions toward his security…they let Ed go~
Smith: What was he thinking?!
Hood: MURICA
Smith: Not so loud, Hood.
Hood: murica
~Houston returns to where he was previously standing. He’s got an angry look on his face. Welsh glares down at the former Craze Champion…he’s ordering him through his eyes. Ed is reluctant. Security stands by…ready to pounce. Finally, Ed bows. As he does, an image of NORTH KOREAN ASTRONAUT KIM JONGSTRONG IS SHOWN PLANTING THE NORTH KOREAN FLAG ON THE MOON. The fans clap loudly and breathe a sigh of relief. Ed shields his eyes from the screen~
Smith: Well, that is a thing that…happened?
Hood: Isn’t it a beautiful day today?
Smith: It most certainly is!
~An annoyed Ed slides into the ring and motions for a mic~
Ed Houston “I told you all I would make it North Korea and here I am but I’m confused. I thought heard this match was just a regular match? What do you say street rat? Want to up the ante a little? Want to see who crashes and burns through a table tonight. I know I want to put you through a table tonight. Let’s make it official.”
~Houston throws the mic over to Crash. As he stands with the mic in hand he looks at the crowd and back at Ed Houston. The red hot rookie stands smiling at the Rocketman. He brings the mic to his mouth and speaks in his raspy, graveled voice~
Crash Rodriguez: “I hear a lot of talk about me ‘Crashing and Burning’. I feel that it’s time to see if they’re right. I think it’s only right to show you, the crowd and the world watching at home, that I am not just another cheap act regurgitating words. I KNOW IT’S TIME TO SEND YOU CRASHING AND BURNING! You want my answer? You didn’t have to ask. BRING OUT THE FUCKING TABLES!”
~Crash tosses the microphone towards Ed’s feet, it bounces on the mat. The Crooked Man stares down The Rocketman, they’re eyes never leaving the others. The intensity of the stare down is felt through the entire nation of NORTH KOREA. Both men know they have so much to prove~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is now a TABLES MATCH for the OCW Craze Championship!!!
~Ed bends over to remove the mic. Crash runs forward and knees Ed in the gut! The mic goes flying! Scruff, holding the Craze Title, tosses it out of the ring. Belvedere picks it up. Scruff calls for the bell…it rings! The match is underway. Crash grabs Ed and lifts him up, suplexing him into the ring!!! Ed hits hard, arching his back in pain. The crowd claps – they seem to be behind Crash~
Smith: Crash with an early start!
Hood: NASA fucking Ed all over again. Mandela Effect will do that to people.
Smith: What are you talking about?
Hood: He REMEMBERS Neil Armstrong from the USA landing on the moon when in fact, it was North Korea.
Smith: No comment.
~Crash is back on his feet. He charges toward the ropes, Ed remains on his back…Crash leaps onto the ropes, springboarding off the middle rope with a moonsault!! He connects!! He ALMOST tries for a pin…but the stipulation hits him like an unprotected chairshot…so he pops back to his feet and stomps Ed in the face, keeping the rocketman grounded. Crash slides out of the ring, digging underneath for something violent. Ed, holding his face, starts to sit up. Crash throws a trash can into the ring. It lands near Ed. Crash secures a chair, sliding into the ring~
Smith: Crash going for the weapons early on.
Hood: Which Crash is this? Normal Crash? Or what the fuck, Crash?
Smith: Why do you have to make fun of people’s mental issues?
Hood: Why do you have to protect them?
~Ed’s no fool. He grabs the trash can. He gets to his feet with the can in hand. He sees Crash rise with the chair. The NASA flunky does the math…Chair > Trash. So, Ed throws the trash can at Crash. Crash ducks. Houston charges in…Crash rises up…Ed goes low with a dropkick, taking Crash’s legs out. The chair goes flying…Crash avoids a painful face plant into metal. Ed kips up. He snares the trash can (being the nearest weapon). He places it upright. Crash struggles back to his feet…Ed hits the ropes, he bounces off and takes Crash down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! They hit hard!! Crash grabs his neck in pain…Ed is already back on his feet~
Smith: You always forget how quick and fast Ed…
Hood: Speak for yourself. I know how fast this guy is. He dropped outta NASA in record time.
Smith: Rudeness
Hood: The truth hurts, Smith.
~Houston yanks Crash up and lifts him up for an inverted atomic drop. Instead of bringing Crash down across his knee, the drops him into the trash can. Crash looks around, realizing he’s immobile. Ed delivers a huge right hand into Crash’s forehead. He follows that up with a slicing knife edged chop!! Crash winces in pain. His arms are pinned against the interior of the trash can. Ed delivers another right hand followed by another chop. He repeats this combination several times until Crash starts to lean forward, displaying the body language of a fatigued man~
Smith: Interesting situation we’ve got here.
Hood: Ed thinking outside the box by putting Crash in one.
Smith: Technically it’s a can.
Hood: And technically you can suck my cock.
~Houston goes for the chair. This is a NEW Ed. He picks up the chair and turns back toward Crash. Crash picks his eyes up, spotting the chair. A panic sets in. He realizes he’s got to get out of this trash can. Crash begins to teeter-totter in the can, looking for some momentum. The can starts to teeter more than totter – not what Crash wanted. Houston takes a violent swing with the chair, a real homerun shot. Crash’s teeter over comes his totter and he falls backward…he hits the ropes, bouncing back forward and hitting the mat, sideways. The can rolls at Ed. Houston leaps over the can. Crash manages to crawl out. Ed turns around and swings the chair at Crash, who is on all fours…Crash tucks and rolls…the chair slams into the mat. Crash is on his feet…he leaps onto the middle rope and spins around with a roundhouse kick. Houston dodges the blow. He spins around with a roaring chair shot. Crash ducks and leaps up, dropping Ed with a backstabber!!! Houston flails around like a fish out of water, reaching for his back. The chair tumbles near the trash can…close to the ropes. Crash slowly returns to his feet, catching his wits after all that just went down~
Smith: A unique sequence which saw Crash take control.
Hood: He was quicker than Ed. That chair slowed Ed down, I think.
Smith: Could have.
Hood: It’s great to have a NEW ATTITUDE…but with that new fucking attitude comes a new style…one that you’re not entirely used to.
~Crash turns and spots Ed, who is on his back, wincing. Anger flashes across Crash’s face. He seems to be holding on to a thread of sanity. He drops to his knees and begins to pummel Ed in the face. He grabs Ed by the hair with his left hand while smashing Ed in the face with his right. He punches Houston over and over and over until Ed quits moving. Crash remains on his knees, looking down on Ed…his chest heaving from the oxygen exerted to throw that man consecutive punches. His demeanor seems to be calming. He returns to his feet and grabs the trash can…he throws it as far away from the ring as possible…it bounces against the concrete, loudly. He continues to bounce, dance, and roll until it rests up against the railing of fans…they back away, acting like frightened creatures. Crash gets his hands on the chair~
Smith: Crash dealing with some mental issues again. It seemed as though another attitude…another voice, if you will, took control for a moment.
Hood: Yep and that moment resulted in Ed getting his face punched in.
Smith: It was a beating…luckily, for Ed, his skin remains intact.
Hood: On the outside, Smith. Never judge a concussion by its cover.
~Houston remains down…those punches really did their number on him. Crash places the chair on top of Ed. He heads toward the ropes, stepping through them and onto the apron. He grabs onto the top rope and leaps into the air, springboard off with a splash. Ed throws the chair into the air…it smacks Crash in the face!!! Crash misses Ed and splats on the mat. He rolls around in pain. Houston rolls out of the ring and drops to one knee, rubbing his forehead~
Smith: It seems as though every time Crash takes a breath and goes about some form of strategy, it backfires.
Hood: So…you’re saying he needs to be psycho?
Smith: I would never officially recommend such a thing.
Hood: Ah, so you’re saying he needs to lose his marbles. MARBLES LOST
~Houston, while on one knee, peeks under the ring. He spots a TABLE. He starts to pull it out. Crash returns to his feet, looking angry…it appears as though the ‘other’ side is trying to take over. He marches toward the ropes and steps through them. Ed looks up and Crash stomps Ed in the face!! Houston falls over, atop the chair which is half exposed. Crash hops off the apron and grabs Ed by the head…he smashes the side of Houston’s head into the ground, repeatedly. This is dangerous…Ed knows it, he can feel it. So, he desperately rolls away, underneath the ring. Crash scrambles to prevent Ed from rolling under the ring, but is unable. Ed disappears behind the apron cloth. Crash starts to peek underneath, but pauses~
Smith: Crash may be a rookie, but he’s no fool. Every time you look for someone under the ring…
Hood: You get a fire extinguisher in the face!
Smith: Well, yea…that or some other painful experience.
Hood: Ya know, I’ve always wondered what’s like under there. Is it like its own little word? An under ring city? What if there’s a trap door with stairs leading to an underground [redacted]. Ya know, we’re not supposed to talk about it, after all.
Smith: I’d imagine it’s much more disappointing than you’d expect.
~Crash yanks on the table, deciding to put it into place. He’s having trouble removing the table. It pulls back…it appears someone (Ed) is holding on from underneath the ring. Crash, not expecting this type of resistance, is pulled toward the bottom of the ring. He loses his balance while holding onto the table and falls forward. Ed’s hands appear, they rake Crash across the face!!! Crash rolls over, holding his eyes. Houston crawls out holding a case of water. He stands up, raises the case of water over his head and throws it down onto crash. The case of water slams RIGHT INTO Crash’s midsection!!! A few water bottles explode! Crash coughs and rolls around, holding his abs…the impact knocked the wind from his lungs. Ed reaches down, he grabs a bottle of water…he inspects it…he points to something. The camera zooms in “MADE IN THE USA”! Ed winks and gives the camera a thumb up before untwisting the cap and taking a sip~
Smith: That has to be an original spot…at least as far as OCW goes.
Hood: I’ve seen people thrown into water. I’ve never seen water thrown into people.
Smith: I’m assuming we brought our own water to the event.
Hood: Well of course we did. You really think these people would [redacted]?
Smith: I have absolutely no comment
~Houston downs about half the bottle before slamming it as hard as he can at Crash’s face. It smacks Crash in the head…Crash rolls over, onto his knees. Houston runs up and kicks Crash in the ribs, soccer style. Crash tumbles away, coming to rest against the steel steps. Houston measures Crash up…he starts to take off, but slips on some of the water…so, he steadies himself, and tries again. Crash moves!! Ed jumps up, landing on top of the steps. He looks for Crash, who is struggling to his feet, at the bottom of the steps…Houston faces that way and leaps off with a hurricanrana…but Crash holds on, spins around and slams Ed into the steps with a powerbomb!!! Houston yells out in pain, arching his back!! He remains on the steps for a moment before slowly rolling off, to the side, landing on his left. Crash takes a seat on the steps, recovering from the damage he’s absorbed~
Smith: Tremendous comeback there by Crash. He’s got something special, Hood.
Hood: Don’t say X-Factor.
Smith: You’re the one who said it! I was going to say he had that ‘superstar’ potential.
Hood: Superstar…as in bigger than THE SUN?
Smith: I’m not astrologist, Hood.
~Crash stands and finds Ed still nursing his back. He heads over for the table, finally yanking it all the way out from under the ring. He goes through the process of setting it up. The table sets, perpendicular to the ring. Crash turns around and, like Ed, loses his footing briefly do to the water spillage. This triggers him. He begins to wildly kick and toss the water around, getting it all out of his way. Seething, he heads around the steps…but Ed is gone. He looks up and sees Houston pulling a LADDER from under the ring. Crash charges forward…Ed is bent over, pulling on the ladder. Crash performs a Senton. Ed drops the ladder and backs away…Crash lands HARD, back first onto the ladder. Houston snares Crash by the hair and throws him, head first into the nearest steps. He then finishes removing the ladder~
Smith: Ed reuniting with an old friend.
Hood: That ladder has led to success and demise when it comes to Ed and his pursuit of the Craze Championship.
Smith: Indeed…but now we have our first table set up which means the match is closer to ending than before.
Hood: What if someone falls through the table on a missed dive?
Smith: Then they’d lose.
Hood: Hmm…was that foreshadowing?
Smith: I don’t think the person in charge has any clue at this stage, Hood.
~Houston carries the ladder across the steps, toward the table. He sets it up in PRIME position. He turns and makes his way back toward Crash. Crash is leaning over the top step, on his knees. Houston charges in and delivers a front dropkick into Crash’s back!!! Crash rolls over, holding his chest in pain. Houston pops back to his feet…he drags Crash around the ring, toward the ladder. Upon reaching the ladder, Ed hoists Crash up, onto his shoulders. Houston may not be the biggest man in the world, but the dude’s got some CORE STRENGTH. He begins to climb the ladder, facing the table. His legs are wobbly…the pressure, the weight is definitely fighting against his strength and will power. Crash seems out. Houston reaches the top with Crash on his shoulders~
Smith: He’s not going to…
Hood: A Death Valley Driver off the top of the ladder through a table! Ed’s about to make Crash burn!
Smith: This could end the young man’s career! Ed! Come to your senses!
Hood: He has…Houston’s got a brand new bag, baby!
~Ed moves around very carefully, trying to avoid falling. He’s in position…he starts to throw Crash over. He does!! Crash, however, manages to land on the opposite side of the ladder!! His hands clutch the top of the ladder. Ed does the same…the ladder wiggles…it nearly falls over before steadying. Ed looks at Crash…Crash looks at Ed. Crash is PISSED. Houston throws a right hand…Crash blocks it!! He dives in, headbutting Ed!!! Houston nearly falls backward, off the ladder. Crash hooks him for a suplex. The table is behind them~
Smith: Crash is going to try to suplex Ed off the ladder through the table!
Hood: Holy shit…you know what those NASA folk are saying.
Smith: What?
Hood: Figures.
~Ed knees Crash in the top of the head at the apex of the suplex. Crash nearly loses his balance so, in an effort to keep from losing the match, he tosses Ed, at the top of the suplex, to the side…Ed lands HARD in the ring, into the canvas. He manages to avoid spiking his head…but, he does grab the back of his neck. He rolls around, kicking his legs. Crash, meanwhile, realizes that the momentum has compromised the ladder. It sways…he starts to go backward…Crash is destined to go through the table~
Smith: Crash is going to go through the table!
Hood: Fucking flimsy ass ladders.
Smith: He needs to jump off that ladder…it will hurt, but it would at least keep him in the match.
~The ladder begins to fall backward, toward the table. Crash, understanding the situation, kicks off the ladder and tenses up, realizing a painful impact is coming. The ladder lands innocently atop the able…neither object breaking. Crash, however, lands FLAT on his back atop the fairly thin surface covering the concrete. His eyes widen…he gasps for air~
Smith: Ouch!
Hood: Dude’s gonna be sucking wind for awhile.
Smith: But, at least he managed to stay in the match.
Hood: The things these guys will do for the Craze Championship. It’s CRAZY, man!
~Crash sits up, gasping for air. He seems to be slowly recovering. Ed remains in the ring, wincing, staring up into the North Korean sky. Crash reaches round, locating the steps. He uses them to crawl up, reaching his feet and leaning, forward against the ring post. He looks to his side, spotting the table and ladder. He then spots Ed. Crash steps through the ropes and goes after the OCW vet. He snares Ed by his hair and hooks him for Twisted Memories! He goes to execute the maneuver, but Ed turns it into a Twist of Fate!!! He takes Crash down!! Both men are on the mat…Ed rolls over and spots the table and ladder. He begins to crawl that way~
Smith: Ed was too quick for Crash to execute Twisted Memories!
Hood: He slipped right out of there…Crash is going to have to secure that shit better next time.
Smith: If he’s lucky enough to see a next time
Hood: Is he going blind?
Smith: NO! I’m just saying he may not have that opportunity again.
~Crash sits up, holding his neck. He turns and sees Ed climbing over the bottom rope, to the apron. Ed reaches forward and grabs the ladder, repositioning it in front of the table. Crash returns to his feet...he’s looking angrier…like that unstable portion of his psyche is trying to take over. He marches toward Ed and blasts him from behind with a forearm shot!! Ed leans forward with the table right beneath him…he reaches back, snaring the top rope. Crash pulls at his fingers, trying to break his grip so he can push Ed off the apron and through the table. Ed delivers a swift kick through the ropes, smacking Crash in the ribs. Crash staggers back. Ed turns around and leaps onto the top rope…he springboards off…but Crash drills him with a European uppercut!!! Ed’s body snaps into the ropes…he ricochets off into a lariat from Crash which turns him inside out!!! Ed’s down. Crash is face down, reaching for the ropes, working his way back up~
Smith: With that table set up, right outside the ring…this match could end at any moment!
Hood: Finally, Crash was able to lay a solid blow on The Rocket Man.
Smith: Yep, if an opponent can stymie Ed’s quickness, he’s got a huge advantage.
~Crash, back on his feet, lays some serious boots into Ed’s body. He’s kicking with a vicious determination…angry over what he’s had to endure thus far. He finishes stomping Ed and yanks the Rocket Man off the mat, dragging him toward the ropes. Crash steps out onto the apron and snares Ed’s head…he pulls Ed through the ropes…it’s almost a draping DDT…in fact, it IS a draping DDT…at least, the set up for one. Behind Crash is the table. He yanks Ed onto the apron, retaining the DDT hold. He spots the ladder and has an idea. He knees Ed in the abdomen multiple times, sending the former Craze Champion to his knees. Crash then turns and works the ladder into position…it’s almost diagonal, giving a person standing on it (if they are facing outward) a view of the ring and the table. He steps out onto the ladder, facing Ed~
Smith: What is he doing?
Hood: I think he’s going to get on that ladder, grab Ed and throw Ed through that table.
Smith: Why? He could have tossed him off the apron!
Hood: Because, he wants to really, really hurt Ed.
Smith: This is crazy! It may very well cost him the match!
~Crash reaches forward, careful not to lose his balance and/or tip the ladder over. He grabs Ed by the hair. He pulls him in…he is definitely looking for a powerbomb. He carefully lifts Ed off the apron while standing on the ladder. The entire ladder shakes. Crash nearly loses his balance. He’s having trouble controlling his balance, the ladder, and Ed. Houston tightens his legs around Crash’s head and bends backward with a Frankensteiner!!! Crash lands HARD on the apron!!! His back SMASHING into the HARDEST(?) party of the ring!!!! Houston manages to land on his feet in between the ladder and the apron (a small, yet accessible gap). His back, though, does catch a good portion of the edge. He winces, leaning back~
Smith: What a move!! Ed is crazy!
Hood: Dude could have snapped his neck…but…I guess that’s what this title is all about, crazy ass shit.
Smith: Indeed…and as far as Crash goes. Take what’s there, Crash! Don’t try to inflict unnecessary punishment!
Hood: Look, there are two Crash’s, okay? There’s the normal, everyman Crash. He would have tried to powerbomb Ed from the apron…or Avalanche DDT him from the apron. Then there’s CRAZY Crash…he wanted to use the ladder.
Smith: Yea, well maybe CRAZY Crash needs to go for a walk.
~Crash’s instincts tell him that the apron is no friend to his body. So he rolls off of it…his stomach finds the table. His arms draped over once side, his legs the other. He remains there for a moment, still recovering. Ed, a few feet away, sees the opportunity. He hops onto the apron, showing the tremendous recovering skills he’s known for. He leaps onto the second rope with a springboard moonsault. But, CRASH MOVES!!! Ed, somehow, is able to overshoot the moonsault and land on his feet. He stumbles backward. Crash charges at Ed with a clothesline…Ed ducks. Crash spins around. He charges at Ed again…Ed ducks and looks for a back body drop, which would send Crash into the table. Crash, however, holds onto Ed’s body and brings him down across his knee, face first!!! Ed falls to the side, holding his face in pain~
Smith: These two are flirting with disaster!
Hood: You can say that again!
Smith: Yes, I know, but I prefer to avoid redundant commentary.
~Crash grabs Ed and pulls him to his feet. The table remains in place. Crash throws Ed onto the apron. He slides into the ring. Houston, a fighter through and through, works to his feet. Crash takes off…he hits the ropes, the bounces off. Ed’s back is lined directly with the table. Crash dives forward with a SPEAR!!! Houston dives over the top rope!!! Crash gets hung up atop the middle rope. He freaks out, realizing how close he is to defeat. He gets back into the ring and turns around. Ed is charging toward him. Crash ducks and lifts Ed into the air. Ed lands on the apron, feet first. He throws a hook kick, smacking Crash in the face. He spots the ladder and hops on, climbing a few runs before turning around. He’s near the top, looking down at the ring. Crash is recovering from the hook kick. He stumbles closer toward Ed and finally turns, looking at the Rocket Man. Ed leaps off…but Crash catches him!!! Ed wiggles...Crash retains control…he hoists Ed up and throws him, Gorilla Press style, into the ladder!!! Ed and the ladder go crashing into the ground!!! The table, however, remains intact. Crash leans over the top rope, catching his breath while Houston is down, grounded, in pain~
Smith: What strength by Crash!
Hood: Ed crashed a burned…NO SHOCK THERE.
Smith: Crash is moments away from winning the Craze Title. He just needs to get Ed up and through that table.
~Crash steps through the ropes, regaining his wits. He hops down and snares Ed. Crash looks at the table. He looks at Ed…he decides to take this to the apron. He scoops Ed up and slams him onto the apron! Ed arches his back in pain. Crash hops up there and pulls Ed up…he looks at Ed…then at the table. He begins to smile…turning his focus to the corner nearest the table~
Smith: What are you doing?! You don’t need to go that high!
Hood: Pain and torture, Smith. Crash wants to HURT Ed.
Smith: Hurt him by winning the title! Seriously…fight the urge, Crash!
~Crash hooks Ed for a suplex. He places him on the top buckle, facing toward the table. Crash starts to climb, joining Ed at the top. Crash stands on the very top rope, yanking Ed to his feet. He hooks him for The Crash Report (Avalanche DDT). Crash tries to execute the move. But Ed holds on!!! Crash yanks…Ed holds!! Ed punches Crash in the ribs a few times, breaking his head free. He delivers a head butt…it resounds with a loud THUD. Crash loses his balance and drops onto the apron. Ed stands up and leaps off with a METEORA!! He connects and drives Crash THROUGH THE TABLE!!! The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND NEW OCW CRAZE CHAMPION…ED HOUSTON!!!!!
Smith: Meteora onto Crash and through that table!! Ed wins!
Hood: Probably fucked up his knees but, yea, he won.
Smith: Crash tried to take things too far tonight. If he had simply settled for what was there…he might have won.
Hood: Might have? He would have!
Smith: Instead, the high flying veteran, Ed Houston is now a TWO TIME Craze Champion!
~Ed gets to his feet…he’s limping quite severely. Crash is down, among a pile of wooden rubble. Scruff hands Ed the Craze Championship. He looks down at it before holding it tight. It’s been awhile~
Smith: The Craze Title has come home…one year ago Ed defeated Josie Barnes and Muffles the Bunny to hold onto that belt. Here, tonight, it’s back where it belongs!
Hood: Reunited and it feels so good!
Smith: These belts are hard to win, Hood. Good for Ed…here’s hoping the second half of 2019 renders even more positive results for the Rocket Man! As for Crash…a tough loss but he’s still got a bright future in OCW.
Hood: Yep, as you said…these belts are hard as fuck to win. Crash came very close…dude is going to be a champion if he sticks to it.
Smith: Indeed.
~We cut back to Cheasy and the live feed of tonight’s Piledriver~
Cheasy M: What a match! Almost like reliving it all over once more! Crash Rodriguez was definitely game on that evening and came within a whisper of defeating one of OCW’s top in-ring talents in only his FOURTH match.
~The camera cuts, Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: It’s been over two years since Crash came so close to capturing OCW gold. But now...the Crooked Man has returned. I, for one, can’t wait to see where his career goes from here. We’ll hear from the man himself after this commercial break...so, stick around!
~We cut to commercial~
~ We cut to the now very familiar hospital room of Marcus Welsh. He is sitting up in his bed, looking better than a month ago. He looks like he could leave any day now. Sitting next to him is Mike Zybala, who is looking glum. Welsh seems to be comforting him. ~
Welsh: It's OK Mike. You'll get another shot at a title.
Zybala: I know, Marcus. But I had the thing in the bag. If it wasn't for that ranch loving asshole, Outcast, I would have been able to show you the Crazed Title up close!
~Welsh sighs. That Craze belt sure is pretty...how he'd like to hold and caress it and...well, nevermind~
Marcus Welsh: Yea, that would have been nice.
~Zybala turns, looking at Welsh. Marcus, realizing what he said isn't helping matters, digs some benevolence from his melancholy~
Marcus Welsh: But don't you worry about it...I'm sure I'll get a chance to hold one of those OCW Titles one day. Besides, you were kind enough to bring one of the Outsider's belts for me to check out and, well, it's just about as nice.
~Welsh touches the Outsider's belt. The plate falls off and a roach scurries away. Awkward pause before Welsh continues~
Marcus Welsh: Just gotta climb back up there, Mike. I know you can do it. It may not seem like it...but you're getting better and better. I believe in you.
~ Zybala looks up at his friend and smiles. ~
Zybala: Thanks bud. Your right. Geez, look at me. Being all mopey about not winning some belt when you're here fighting to get your memory back. I'm being selfish. How are you doing, Markie Mark? You look great, like you could be doing backflips or something like that. But how are you feeling?
Marcus Welsh: Better by the hour, Mike. They're saying I should be out of here in time to attend Under the Lights. Hopefully Who'Re gives you a title match so I can be in attendance when you finally break through and win some gold!
Zybala: That would be great, bud. I'll even make sure that you have a front row ticket. Maybe you can even accompany me to the ring as a manager or hype man. Marcus Welsh hyping up the crowd for Mike Zybala, just like old times. Just do me a favor, if Who'Re comes up to you to see how you're doing, don't mention "sausage." It's a big, weird trigger for her and she may kick you out of the show.
~Welsh nods and thinks. He likes sausage. It tastes great. Meaty, salty, and spicy...what's not to like? He doesn't get it. But, he also can't remember his middle name so...he doesn't get too worked up over it~
Marcus Welsh: You think Who'Re is going to book you in a title match for Under the Lights?
Zybala: I'm not sure. I would like her to, bit I also gotta see things from her way. I came up short my last few times in title matches. She'll probably put me in some match to get a title shot later on down the road, but not at Under the Lights. That's just how the business works. It's OK though. I'm never out of the title picture for long. You can't be as good as me and not get a title shot.
~ Zybala lets out a small chuckle and gives his friend a wink. He can't let his mood bring Welsh down~
Marcus Welsh: Well, if there's anything I can ever do for you, let me know. You've been so kind to me. And, you say I used to manage the promotion...even though I can't remember, surely there's something I could do to improve your chances at becoming a champion.
~Zybala closes his eyes and ponders for a moment. His eyes open when an idea comes to him. He looks at Welsh~
Zybala: Well, when you were the head honcho, I got my hands on a contract that guaranteed me a world title shot. I cashed it in on the then world champ and pinned him for the three count. That guy then got a bunch of lawyers and stormed your office, demanding that I didn't properly use the contract and that unless you voided my win, he would sue everyone. Your hands were tied, so you had no choice to overturn my world title win... Not that blame you or anything. You had no choice.
~Welsh tries remembering...but he simply can't~
Marcus Welsh: Well that sounds pretty unfair. Must have been awhile ago...I doubt that jerk of a champion would even care if proper order was restored and you were recognized as the champion you truly were. Right a wrong.
Zybala: You're right. It's not like he pays any attention to OCW anymore, or that title reign was anything impressive. Besides, he managed to cheat a win out of our next match anyways with a butt load of interference. So he would have got the title back anyways. It's just the principle of the matter.
~ Zybala looks crestfallen at reliving the memory. Welsh puts a hand on his shoulder. Zybala looks at the hand, smiles and grabs it, reassuring his friend that he's fine. ~
Zybala: But that's in the past. There's nothing we can do to change it.
~Welsh can't shake the feeling that all is not right with the OCW universe. Or, at least, as he currently sees it. So he lets the offer hang in the air for as long as it needs to~
Marcus Welsh: And I know there's nothing you'd like more than to go out there and claim your first championship in OCW without any dispute whatsoever. But, I'm just saying...if you ever want to revisit this...I'm game.
~ Zybala starts to get excited. ~
Zybala: You mean retroactively change the ruling? Dude! That would be amazing! We would have to ask some lawyers if you have the power to do that. But I don't want to hassle you when you're still recovering. What kind of friend would I be if I put you in a stressful situation?? I can't make you strain yourself. Forget I mentioned it, buddy.
~Welsh nods, but it's pretty clear that this situation will come up again. Welsh owes Zybala so much, in his mind. A debt that needs to be repaid~
CATCH THE REPLAY
~We return from the commercial break and we instantly are shown Who’Re, who appears to be under duress as she sifts through the few contracts recently signed at House of Cards. The members of diVersity are positioned around Who’Re’s office, while she sits at her desk. She sticks her right hand out and after about three seconds, a mimosa is placed there. Who’Re takes a sip, coming to a stop at two contracts in particular~
Who’Re: James Raven. TIO.
~She sighs~
Who’Re: Why didn’t I think to sign him?
~There is no response from anyone inside of the room, however a knock at her door instantly gets everyone alert. Who’Re nods to one of the members of diVersity, who moves towards the door and opens it. On the other side stands the behemoth that is BRIM. The member of diVersity steps to the side and BRIM enters the office, headed straight for Who’Re’s desk. When he gets there, BRIM stands and stares daggers into Who’Re~
BRIM: Sup, you wanted to see me?
~She gulps~
Who’Re: Well.. I called you here today because we needed to talk about how.. Hmm.. how do I say it? I’m just going to get to the point, I want to know exactly why you feel that you’re above making appearances on behalf of OCW? Autograph signings, commercial spots, hell anything that we have had scheduled for you?
~BRIM is silent, still staring at Who’Re who shows no fear as she continues on~
Who’Re: We expected more from you if I were to be honest. I mean, look at you. You’re a monster! So why is it that I feel that you aren’t giving this company one hundred percent?
~BRIM’s face scrunches up into a scowl~
BRIM: Are you serious?
~He looks over to one of the members of diVersity, then uses his thumb to point towards Who’Re~
BRIM: Is she serious?
Who’Re: I just don’t know if this is going to wor…
~BRIM slams his hands down onto Who’Re’s desk, causing her to scream in horror. Maybe even wet herself a bit. She checks to make sure and sighs with relief~
BRIM: What you’re not gonna do is talk down to me. Because one, I’m not above slapping a woman.. B, I’m not fucked up bout any of these hoes that you call security..
~diVersity are confused and offended~
BRIM: And three, I want my rematch for the Savage Championship.
Who’Re: I’m sorry but we can’t let that happen, you had your shot and you dropped the ball.
~BRIM feigns surprise, taking a moment to survey the room and all of its occupants. He smiles while rubbing his new scar~
BRIM: Dropped the ball, huh? I remember it differently but we can act like Vaughn wasn’t there to save Lux’s ass every time that I had him beat. I mean we can go with what you said.
~BRIM slams both of his fists down onto Who’Re’s desk. It cracks at the top, flush down the middle. Papers, laptop and whatever else a top wig type would have go sliding towards the crack but come to a halt because of how shallow the crack is.. Who’Re is quick to slide back in her chair, not spilling the mimosa, mind you. BRIM backs up as everyone inside of the room is now ready to pounce but Who’Re raises her left hand bringing a halt to that. BRIM looks back Who’Re~
BRIM: I like you. You seem like a cool chick but this right here, is about to ruin something good.
~Who’Re is puzzled~
BRIM: My bad. I got a lot going on and I really don’t wanna take my anger out on your security.. I mean... they seem like they’re decent people. Probably got families and all of that. Maybe not.. Who knows but my advice to you is that you better rethink whatever it was that you were going to say to me.. And hopefully, the next time that we meet, it’ll be a lot more pleasant.
~Without any more notice, BRIM turns and leaves the office. On the way out, he shoulder bumps the guard, who is still stationed by the door. We cut back to Cheasy and the Piledriver broadcast~
Cheasy M: Whew...BRIM isn't playing around...and who can blame him? He went into House of Cards with everything on the line and, well, he went bust. It'll be interesting to see where he winds up on the card for Under the Lights. No doubt Who'Re is feeling EXTRA pressure to make sure BRIM's got a spot that suits his desires.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: And, speaking of Under the Lights...I'm not sure what the lineup for OCW's next Pay Per View event is going to look like...but I do know it'll feature this week's guest...ladies and gentlemen, Crash Rodriguez!
~Our view expands to show that Crash, along with his attorney and manager and do it all handler Louis Pohl, are seated at the Piledriver desk to Cheasy's right. Cheasy is grinning ear to ear~
Cheasy M: And here he is...one of OCW's fab five signings! Crash Rodriguez! And, LOU! Crash, Lou...thanks for coming on to Piledriver!
~Crash smiles and nods his head~
Lou: Always happy to help bring eyes to a product. Yet I cant help but feel you've undersold my client. He's not just ONE fab signing, he is THE biggest signing.
~Cheasy nods and immediately apologizes, reaching over and patting Lou on the arm~
Cheasy M: Of course, of course! I meant no disrespect. Promotions all over the country were pursuing Crash's signature...and, yet, here he is...choosing to join OCW once again. What was it about OCW that put this promotion over the top in securing your client's signature?
~Lou straightens his tie and clears his throat~
Lou: Leonard, its quite simple. We've chose OCW because it's near and dear to my clients heart. He tasted his first success in America with this company. You see, Crash loves OCW.
~Crash flashes a smirk, nodding his head, happy with Lou's explanation~
Cheasy M: Well I love hearing that...as does the OCW administration!
~We cut to Who'Re...images of Crash winning championships and ascending the OCW card flash before her starry eyes~
Cheasy M: Let's revisit your first run in OCW. You got off to a WHITE HOT start...piling up a record of 3-0. This propelled you into a Craze Championship match against Ed Houston at Redacted. And, while your client came up short, it was arguably the match of the night. Was that your client's ultimate moment during his previous run and, if not, what was? Any other lasting memories from Crash's 2019 OCW run you'd like to share?
Lou: That match ticked off many many boxes, so we're inclined to agree it was the highlight of the first run. Yet, there's another stand out moment. The last OCW show before it had closed. My client was betrayed and left beaten and out, as the show went off the air. Then OCW folded. You know what that's like? To love a place and it leave you at your lowest?
~Crash shakes his head~
Lou: See, I wasn't lying. Crash loves OCW, but Crash hates OCW.
~Cheasy nods, thoughtfully~
Cheasy M: OCW can be a cruel mistress. That betrayal was at the hands of everyone's favorite wrestler, Lilith...if I'm not mistaken. Rumors have swirled that Lilith is in talks about potentially returning to the company. How would Crash feel about that?
~Lou clears his throat and sits forward ready to answer, but he's cut off~
Crash: Happy. Cheasy, I'd be happy. Happy that I get the chance to mutilate somebody who truly deserves it.
~Lou sits quietly, waiting to see if Crash will say anything else before speaking up
Lou: I guess as a follow up question, does Who'Re pay you to dispose of corpses? Because if they bring her in, then that's how my client's leaving them
~Cheasy is taken back by Crash's dialogue. But, he's impressed. He nods~
Cheasy M: I'd certainly want revenge on her if it were me...can't blame you there, Crash! And I'm sure details in regards to corpse disposal would need to be discussed OFF AIR
~Cheasy laughs~
Cheasy M: I'm just kdding. We don't have a department designed solely for disposing of corpses...you think this is some kind of murder house or something? Haha. But, seriously...that would need to be discussed off air.
~Cheasy goes all serious before returning to his jovial demeanor~
Cheasy M: After OCW Crash appeared in GCWA a time or two...how did GCWA help advance your client's career and do you think it has him better equipped to handle a roster featuring so many of GCWA's former stars?
Lou: My client debuted at GCWA and quickly won the Tag Team Championship. Yes. He's been in that locker room. Yes. He knows the opposition. But here's the thing, I'll be the first to admit that my client went through troubling times. Hard times. Left the business bad.
But my client got a fucking clue, called up the smartest man in the fucking business, me, Louis Pohl. So not only does my client know these cats, but they dont know my fucking client anymore.
~Cheasy thinks on this...it makes a lot of sense~
Cheasy M: Well put, sir. It sounds like OCW and its roster is going to be getting a different version of Crash Rodriguez. A stronger, more focused version. We're going to hear from GM Who'Re later in tonight's broadcast as she reveals the lineup for Under the Lights. Obviously, Crash will be involved. Any ideas as to who you might be facing?
Lou: Doesn't matter. It simply doesn't. Put anybody in the ring with The Crooked Man and it'll become evident why.
~Cheasy cowers...pulling back, acting like he's scared of Crash. He chuckles at his obvious and over the top physical 'comedy'. When he realizes nobody is laughing with him, he gets professional~
Cheasy M: That's the best attitude to have, I gotta tell ya! So, what are Crash's goals this go around? Obviously, back in 2019...it was to gain momentum and make an impact. This time around...what is Crash hoping...maybe even expecting to achieve?
Lou: Everything. He wants the gold he never got the chance to get. He wants to compete at the level no other talent can keep up with. Not only does he expect to achieve these things, he knows he will achieve these things. Because like me or not, Crash Rodriguez is something to be feared in the ring. He will do anything he can to hurt you, and anybody that knows my client will tell you the, exact same thing.
~Cheasy nods. He's impressed. Both with Crash's no-nonsense demeanor and Lou's way with words~
Cheasy M: Well, I certainly think Crash is going to turn some heads this go around. I see GOLD in your client's future. I'm very much looking forward to seeing him step into the ring at Under the Lights. Before I let you go...anything you'd like to say?
~Louis Pohl glances at his client and rises to his feet~
Lou: Sure, here's some parting words. There is a target painted on every back employed by OCW.
~ Lou nods his head and the two depart. Cheasy leans back...thankful there isn't a target on HIS back! He turns to the camera and smiles~
Cheasy M: Crash Rodriguez and his representative, Lou Pohl! Crash is back in OCW and he's looking to do some damage! He'll make his return to an OCW ring on September 6th at Under the Lights! Stick around, OCW fans...when we come back, we'll reveal the awards for the month of July! After this commercial break!
~We cut to commercial~
~ We cut to the undisclosed hospital room of Peter Vaughn. The Crazed champ is still looking bruised and battered. Jonathan Barrows is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he's getting food or something. Vaughn is resting comfortably, probably due to the good stuff dripping from his IV. As he rests, Mike Zybala of all people walks in Pete's room. Zybala is equally looking worse for wear. Zybala looks at Vaughn with genuine worry in his eyes. Zybala walks over to the bed and gently starts to shake Vaughn. ~
Zybala: Peeete…. Hey Pete…. Wake up buddy.
~ Vaughn's eyes slowly open. Vaughn looks out of it. He looks at Zybala confused. ~
Vaughn: Zy...Zybala??
Zybala: Hey buddy. How are you doing? Was I convincing enough?
~ Peter seems to be caught off guard with this. ~
Vaughn: Excuse me?
Zybala: Taking my dive… did I make it look convincing?
~Vaughn’s mouth opens and closes several times, but no words come out. It’s almost like he just can’t comprehend what Zybala is saying.~
Vaughn: A dive… you didn’t… you Superkicked me four times in a row!!
Zybala: To protect your reputation! Sure, you kicked ass at Quarantine. Everyone finally started to recognize you as a legitimate threat and a real champion. But if I just let you climb up and get the belt right from the get go? You would be made a laughing stock! People would say "Zybala LET Vaughn win. What a paper champ." So I had to make it look convincing. Sure, I went a little rough on you, but I trained you for this. I knew you could take it. I didn't expect everyone else to beat on you so bad, but that's wrestling. I could have got up and caught you, but I honored our agreement and let you grab the belt. Now everyone knows how tough you are. They see you as a legit champ.
~ Zybala lifts up his shirt slowly. His chest is wrapped up in bandages. He gives Pete a smile as he pulls his shirt back down.~
Zybala: You fucked me up a bit too buddy. The docs say that what ribs that weren't bruised are cracked. I'm gonna be hurting for a while. It's worth it though to see my number one student finally get the recognition he deserves.
~Vaughn just stares at Zybala for a few more moments, before the eyes narrow into a glare.~
Vaughn: Get out. Now.
~ Zybala looks aghast and hurt. He stares at Vaughn for a minute while composing his thoughts. ~
Zybala: I thought you were better than that, Peter. You said if I helped you win, we could work on fixing our friendship. Not only did I let you win, but I made you look like a goddamn superstar! I made you look so good that Matt Meyhu or TIO look like The Brooklyn Brawler by comparison. And this is the thanks I get? I guess hanging with Barrows is making you more like him than I thought. I thought you attacking me in the hallway last month hurt, but that's nothing compared to the hurt I feel now!
~ Zybala stares at Vaughn with genuine hurt in his eyes before he throws a greeting card on the bedside table and turns to leave. Vaughn, looking enraged, pushes himself painfully out of bed, yanking off a cord or two that causes the heart-rate alarm to go off.~
Vaughn: You always have to think of yourself, don’t you, Mike? Always. Ever since I’ve known you. I defeated you, despite you stabbing me in the back once again, but you’re not MAN enough to accept it! You have to conjure up this falsehood in your own mind to make yourself feel good. But we both know it’s not true. I’m a winner, MIKE. And you? You’re a loser! So live with it!
~Vaughn looks ready to go right now, even though he’s breathing pretty heavily through his bandaged body.~
Zybala: Think what you want to. Obviously, you'll never believe me with Johnny whispering in your ear. Just remember this, of all the people you made deals with for House of Cards, I kept my end of the bargain! And put your monitor back on before you worry a nurse!
~ Zybala turns and leaves the room. Vaughn glares at Zybala until he is gone. He then looks at the card. Vaughn picks it up and sees a trophy and the word "CONGRATULATIONS!" on the front. He opens the card and two tickets fall out. They land on the bed and we see that they are for a MLB game! Vaughn starts to read a long, heartfelt message, still looking upset. The door opens again, with Vaughn raising up, but it’s just Jonathan “Pryde” Barrows, who looks surprised to see him up.~
Barrows: Peter? Why’s your machine going crazy like that?
Vaughn: It was… it was Zybala…
~Barrows walks over, annoyingly hitting the button on the machine to silence it. Vaughn looks around in bewilderment at the sudden silence, as Barrows takes the card from him. He also grabs the baseball tickets up from the bed, shaking his head.~
Barrows: Of COURSE Zybala picked the Yankees…
~Barrows then rips the tickets to shreds, along with the card, and throws them behind him into a waste basket. Vaughn looks a little shocked as Barrows puts an arm on him, pushing him back into bed.~
Barrows: You get your rest, champ. Don’t let that guy bother you anymore.
~Barrows turns and walks off, going to get security placed on the door, as Vaughn stares over at the waste basket. The picture fades out.~
~Cameras are backstage at the OCW Headquarters as Tony Savage appears to be on his cell with someone. The doors open and Thaddeus Duke along with Adi Gold and Ian Dream enter.
Tony: “I gotta go,” he says, ending his call abruptly. “The Golden Age!” he shouts out toward the trio as Thad extends his hand. The two clap hands and give each other the ridiculous bro-hug.
Thad: “If you’re gonna do it, you may as well do it Gold, right?”
~Adi gives Thad a wink and a nod and departs down the hallway.
Thad: “See you in a bit,” he says to her as she walks away.
Tony: “Where’s she goin’?”
~Thad shrugs.~
Thad: “Listen, Ian has some business to discuss with you.”
Tony: “Ahh man, I’m a little busy…”
Thad: “It’ll only take a minute…”
Tony: “Alright, let’s hear it Ian.”
Ian Dream: "Tony, come on. Thad just won his OCW debut and is bringing OCW into the Golden Age but you don't have so much as a celebration party planned? We're going to need a celebration party and as a New York City native, I have connections to the PERFECT pizza place that does catering. I'll have my people call your people."
Tony: “That’s it? A party?”
Thad: “Well, not just ANY party, a huge fuckin’ celebration to satisfy my enormous ego. You know how it be.”
~The scene cuts to Adi somewhere backstage and she’s feverishly tapping away on her cell phone~
~Back to Thad, Ian and Tony as Thad pulls his cell from his pocket.
Tony: “What is it?”
Thad: “Nothing too important,” Thad says as he shows his text to Ian.
~Ian’s body blurs for a fraction of a second as he reaches for Tony’s waist. A ‘woosh’ sound effect is heard as Ian disappears from Thad’s side before Tony even knows it. Ian appears in front of Adi backstage.~
Ian Dream: “Hey, I got your message, Thad showed it to me on his phone.”
~Ian jangles Tony’s keys in front of Adi and unlocks the door.~
Adi: “Yer’ good to have… annnd he’s gone.”
~Ian appears back by Thad’s side before Tony knew he was gone.
Thad: “Yeah so anyway… party… noise… people… no stripper or anything, because Adi. Unless she wants strippers, I dunno.”
~Thad turns to Ian.~
Thad: “You want strippers Ian?”
Ian Dream: “Uh, no sir.”
Thad: “Really? Are you abstinent?”
Ian Dream: “No sir.”
Thad: “Thank god… anyway stop calling me sir… makes me feel like I’m 25 or some shit.”
Tony: “Guys?”
~Adi can be seen inside Tony Savages, the CFO of OCWs office. The close up on her face as she laughs manically. It slowly zooms out to see Adi Gold buttering up dry old hotdog buns. Without the wiener. She continues to dip her knife into the container of butter, giggling the entire time. When done buttering the bun. She aims at his desk and whips the bun at it. We pan over to see Tony’s desk, covered in hotdog buns. Like, too many hotdog buns. She jumps to her feet and starts smearing some of the buns on his laptop, phone and some of his personal photos.~
Adi Gold: Tell the world I pick out boogers. Ass head…
~Adi continues to smear buttered hotogs on his hair and desk as she pulls out her phone. She texts Thad as she reads it out loud.~
Adi Gold: Tha-ad. Yer’ idea of a whoopie cushion and fart gas was a little too weird and simple for a mission of this size… so… like we discussed, and you disagreed with… i went with plan ‘B’... buttered up hotdog buns… chat later. Adi.
~Adi looks on confused for a second.~
Adi Gold: Wait, he knows it is from me… anyway… I need to get to gettin’ quick, before Tony comes back…
~Adi begins tip-toeing through the hotdog buns laying around Tony’s office carpeted floor. Before she leaves she takes a snapshot of the hotdog bun covered office. Adi exits…~
~As Tony, Thad and Ian are speaking. Adi walks in the locker room with an empty bag of hotdog buns and an empty container of butter. She enters as she giggles to herself, not seeing Tony.~
~Thad pulls out his cell again and bursts out in laughter.
Adi Gold: Oh man, you should see his office. I spent like $124 dollars on buns, it’s going to take months, weeks, hours, minutes to clean that up!! And I was…
~Adi spots Tony Savage standing there She quickly tosses the container towards the trash can and stuff the empty hotdog bun bag into her blouse.~
Adi Gold: Heeeeeyyyyy! Tony! Um, should I leave? You guys still busy or whatever…?
Thad: “Nope! Just wrapping up!”
Tony: “Yeah guys, great meeting,” he says sarcastically as he starts to excuse himself. “Thad, we’ll chat later.”
~Tony exits the frame leaving the Golden Age to their own devices.
Thad: “Well…. That was fun.”
~We cut back to Piledriver and Cheasy M~
Cheasy M: The Golden Age is in the HOUSE! Thaddeus Duke and Ian Dream both made a major impact this past Sunday at House of Cards. Where will that impact land them on the Under the Lights card later tonight? We’ll have to find out!
~Cheasy’s mind wanders for a moment~
Cheasy M: Also, for any of you viewers out there in the Key West area looking to have a cheap above-ground-pool kinda bar b q this weekend...I hope you like wieners and wieners only...straight into your mouth. No buns available. NO BUNS. No lube...err, butter, either. Thanks, Adi.
~Cheasy shakes the metaphor from his mind~
Cheasy M: Anyway...moving along...it’s time to take a look at the POST House of Cards standings...these numbers are sure to have moved around quite a bit...so let’s take a look at where everyone stands!
|
|||
|---|---|---|---|
Cheasy M: Some major additions to this week's standings! Lux broke 20 last week and he breaches the thirty point mark this week with that huge performance at House of Cards!
~Cheasy continues to view the standings~
Cheasy M: Peter Vaughn catapults both Mike Zybala and Dylan Thomas after his big win this past Sunday. Outcast overtakes BRIM, putting some distance between himself and the former Savage Champion. Thaddeus Duke continues to pile on the points as he works to stick with the upper half of the standings.
~Cheasy's eyes turn to the lower half~
Cheasy M: And there they are...the new names! They've got some work to do, no doubt. But if Duke is any example...in one month's time they can be right in the thick of things.
~Cheasy faces the camera~
Cheasy M: Not satisfied with your ranking? Want to move up? Tired of getting left behind? Well then, segments, CD pieces, newswire items, reviews...activity! Stay busy and your total will rise week after week! What do these rankings matter? Come booking time those with the higher totals will receive stronger consideration for title shots.
~The rankings vanish~
Cheasy M: Okay, we're gonna cut to a commercial and when we come back...we'll announce the winners of this month's awards! Stick around!
~We cut to commercial~
~And we return from commercial break...but not to our usual studio backdrop. Nope, we’ve been whisked away to an alternate location. A location for BREAKING NEWS. Standing in front of the camera is none other than pro wrestling reporter and BREAKING NEWS artist – Denzel Porter. He claps his hands together and greets us~
Denzel Porter: Hello OCW! I’m Denzel Porter and I’ve been brought on to tonight’s episode of Piledriver to reveal the Award winners for the month of July.
Denzel Porter: The month of July was a huge success for Online Championship Wrestling as it continues to march forward in this new era of in-ring competition. So, let’s take a look back at the key figures who helped make July such a successful month for the promotino.
~We get a shot of the word NEWCOMER~
Denzel Porter: This should come as no surprise. Earning Newcomer of the Month was basically a shoe-in. Thaddeus Duke, fresh off his major signing and huge in-ring victory over Ed Houston locks down this prestigious award. An award won by many newcomers who would go on to become OCW greats.
~IMPROVED pops up next~
Denzel Porter: And, for most improved, we’ve got Dylan Thomas. Dylan, once again, came oh-so close to capturing OCW gold. His battle against Outcast showed that Dylan is a main event player. He will break through sooner rather than later.
~UNDERRATED is next~
Denzel Porter: A sort of ‘hard luck’ award...this one has to go to Ed Houston. Ed’s talent extends far beyond his 2021 success. He may have come out on the wrong end of the result on Sunday, but The Rocketman is more than capable of rising back to the top of the card.
~And now we get BEST ANGLE~
Denzel Porter: This one was tough. So many great options...but, for me, the one that stood out the most was James Raven and TIO’s confrontation at House of Cards. This set up what should be a classic rematch between two world-class competitors.
~BEST MATCH is next~
Denzel Porter: Five great matches to choose from...but, for my money, the war between Dylan Thomas and Outcast takes Best Match. Burnout through a stack of tables was a sight to behold.
~OOC Member pops up~
Denzel Porter: Hmm. Not really sure what OOC means...but we’ll go ahead and give this one to Thaddeus Duke. He seems like a guy who draws eyes instead of flies.
~A graphic for BEST FINISHER shows up~
Denzel Porter: A roster this talented is in no shortage of tremendous finishing maneuvers. But Ich Muss Dich Brechen takes the cake, for me. Betsy Granger used this move to not only take Mack O’Connor out of the TransAtlantic match but to also defeat Vhodka Black, earning her the TransAtlantic Championship.
~Face of the Month~
Denzel Porter: To be fair, there aren’t many faces running around OCW these days. But, we’ve got a few wrestlers who are very over with the fans. During the month of July, no face stood taller than Mike Zybala in his quest to end a four year journey for OCW gold.
~And now...HEEL of the month~
Denzel Porter: A shortage of faces equates to an abundance of heels. This award was hotly contested..but, in the end, it was only appropriate that Outcast should earn this nefarious accolade after single handily depriving Zybala of his championship moment.
~Top Feud~
Denzel Porter: Let’s just go ahead and say this...Mike Zybala had a very strong month in July, even if the end result wasn’t what he desired. His feud with Peter Vaughn was personal and emotionally driven...thus earning Zybala and the Craze Champion feud of the month.
~Now for the mysterious Charismatic Award~
Denzel Porter: One of OCW’s most storied awards...The Most Charismatic Award this month goes to Xavier Lux. Lux makes his first appearance on this month’s award sheet...more of a statement toward how talented this roster is rather than an indictment of its champion.
~And, finally...the ultimate award...Wrestler of the Month~
Denzel Porter: And...now it’s time. Who takes home the biggest award of them all? An award that paves the way for wrestlers to become greats to ultimately become Hall of Famers...well, the answer wasn’t a difficult one. Outcast takes home Wrestler of the Month for July. He built upon his stellar performance at Quarantined with a huge victory over Dylan Thomas at House of Cards earning a shot at Xavier Lux and the OCW Title. No wrestler, in the month of July, impressed more than Outcast...which is why he is recognized as Wrestler of the Month.
~The graphic disappears~
Denzel Porter: So, there you have it...the award winners for the month of July. Congratulations to all the winners and good luck next month...with the roster expanding to 13...and, considering the names behind the expansion, these awards are going to become increasingly hard to obtain.
~An exit theme starts to play~
Denzel Porter: And with that, I’m outta here. I’d like to thank OCW for bringing me on to reveal the award winners. For those of you unaware, you can find me on twitter @DenzelPorter4 reporting all the latest breaking news throughout this tremendous industry.
~We start to pull away~
Denzel Porter: Thanks for listening OCW and you guys have a great third month of operation...and good luck to everyone in the Margarita Mix. I’ll be keeping close watch on the proceedings. Catch you guys later!
~And, with that, we fade out...into a commercial break~
~Scene opens up in Ms. Who’Re’s office, there is a knock on the door, and she waves new Greg dismissively to get it. He quickly rushes over and opens the door, without looking up from whatever she is working on, she asks who it is.~
Greg: Um, it’s our World Champion Ms. Who’Re, except…
~Without looking up she answers.~
Who'Re: Except what? Don’t tell me he didn’t bring the Savage championship? I expected it hours ago!
Greg: No, he has that, but he’s…
~The door is kicked open, slamming hard against the wall and causing Greg to jump up. Who’Re looks up annoyed but then it changes to confused.~
Xavier Lux: Except that it was a pain to get up here considering my current condition… you bitch.
~Xavier Lux is seating in a wheelchair, being pushed by Margarita Mix participant Cholo Santana who clearly was the one who kick the door in. Xavier has both titles sitting on his lap. She quickly stands up and rushes over acting as concerned as a mother who just saw her 1-year-old fall for the first time.~
Who'Re: Oh I am so sorry Xavier, I didn’t know. What happened?
Xavier Lux: What happened? Did you not watch the main event to your own damn show? Or did you leave the arena too after your golden boy left?
Who'Re: What? No, of course not, I was here, I meant, you walked out of here fine! I saw you, I mean yeah medics were with you but no one told me it was this bad.. Greg, why didn’t I know about this?!
Greg: I put the medical report on your desk this mo-
Who'Re: Shut it! Again Xavier, I am soooo sorry, had I known I would have come and got this from you. But this is only temporary right? You’ll be fine for the next pay per view right?
~She laughs nervously, clearly she’s concerned…. But not about her champion but about the main event for her next big show. Xavier sees right through this and responds sarcastically. ~
Xavier Lux: Thanks for your concern Who’Re, I know it comes from a good place… But that’s up to you and your doctors clearing me, but even in a wheelchair I would defend this title against Outcast. Hell, he may still be in a wheelchair himself by then. How does a wheelchair match sound?
Who'Re: That’s not funny at all, I’m sure you will both be fine and cleared by September 6th. So, are you ready to hand that over?
Xavier Lux: I guess, but I do have a request since I don’t get to keep a title I earned.
Who'Re: Anything for my champion!
Xavier Lux: Uh huh. I want to choose the two wrestlers that fight for it.
~Who’re is taken back by this request. She walks back to her desk, sits down and messes around with some papers and then scratches the back of her hair, clearly not happy with the request. She looks back up at Xavier and puts on a fake smile. ~
Who'Re: Um, sure, who did you have in mind?
Xavier Lux: Well, I think Brim is the obvious first choice, he deserves a shot to get his title back.
Who'Re: Of course, done, no problem! Against whom?
~Xavier looks at her surprised, but suspicious at the same time. ~
Xavier Lux: Dylan Thomas, he-
Who'Re: *annoyed* Nope, sorry, he’s already booked.
Xavier Lux: Alright fine, Peter Vaughn deserves to move up to-
Who'Re: Oh, no, sorry, he is also already defending his title. Remember, Thaddeus earned a title shot for-
Xavier Lux: Ed Houston.
Who'Re: *more annoyed* booked.
Xavier Lux: Fine, Zy… Zy… Zybala, ugh.
Who'Re: Booked too, sorry champ.
Xavier Lux: Uber Man.
Who'Re: He’s not even on the roster.
~Just then, Thaddeus Duke and Ian Dream walk into the room. Xavier eyes them...it's not a friendly 'eye', either. But, he's in a wheel chair, so he turns his ire from the new arrivals and back to the woman in charge~
Xavier Lux: I see, so you are just going to continue cramming this guy down everyone’s throats? Moving him all the way up the card over guys have been here from day one, busting their ass for you? I see how it is.
Who'Re: No, not at all, it just worked out the way.
Xavier Lux: Yeah whatever, here Cholo.
~Lux grabs the Savage title and hands it over to Cholo. He walks around the chair and Greg comes up to get it but Cholo fronts like he’s going to hit him and Gregs rushes off scared, running into the wall. Cholo walks over to Who’Re’s desk and hands the title over, she grabs it but he doesn’t let go. ~
Who'Re: Thank-.. Thank-… Thank you!
~He finally lets it go and she stumbles back into her chair with the title pressed against her chest. Cholo smiles and winks at her before walking back towards the wheelchair and with Xavier not really having anything else to say, Cholo spins him around and they leave. Who’Re wishes him well.~
Who'Re: I hope you get well soon Xavier!
~From behind the door, Xavier answers. ~
Xavier Lux: No you don’t…
Who'Re: Of course I do, we love you!
~Xavier is likely down the hallway by now, but we can still short of make out his last words…~
Xavier Lux: Die in a fire…
Thad: Kinda rude… didn’t even say hi or anything.
~Who’Re lays the Savage title on her desk and Thad picks it up.
Who’Re: Think you got what it takes to take that championship?
Thad: Whore, I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but… there’s not a championship on the planet that I don’t have what it takes to win.
~Thad lays the title back down on her desk and takes a seat, throwing his feet up on her desk.
Thad: Fact is, I’ve done more for OCW just by signing my contract than his alopecia lookin’ ass has done his entire tenure. He can be jealous all he wants. He can pout and complain all he wants, but facts don’t care about his feelings. He can thank me for the positive changes already taking place around here… even though I know he won’t. It’s not like he’s not gonna benefit too.
Anyway, I dunno what he’s complaining about. There’s enough of me to cram down everyone’s throat with plenty left over.
~Scene fades to commercial.~
~We return to the Piledriver set...only it’s different. Cheasy is missing. In his place stands members of diVersity along with Grace Rimmer and (new) Greg. It doesn’t take long for OCW GM Who’Re to march on screen...she takes a seat in Cheasy’s chair and addresses the audience~
Who’Re: Hello OCW. I’d like to thank everyone watching for the support they’ve given OCW these past few months. This promotion continues to soar...and while House of Cards smashed the interest level and monetary success of Quarantined, it’s just the start. We fully expect Under the Lights to go down as one of the greatest, most successful endeavors in company history.
~Who’Re clears her throat~
Who’Re: Even when we normalize a card, OCW has to do SOMETHING different...something unique. Something to make the event standout. So, at Under the Lights...the OCW roster will compete in one of the most famous high school football stadiums in the country. And, as the action goes on, the sun will set and, eventually, the lights will come on. And, once those lights come on...the rules are out the window. Every match becomes a falls count anywhere, no disqualification contest. We’ve coined the term… ‘When the lights come on, the violence heats up.’ It should be another landmark event!
~She takes a breath~
Who’Re: Headlining this event will be a match wrestling fans have craved for a long, long time. OCW Champion, ‘Venom’ Xavier Lux will, once again, defend his prestigious championship...this time, against a bitter rival. A man who has had his eyes set on taking Lux out, getting revenge for past failures...Xavier Lux will defend against the Paradigm Champion, Outcast!
~The select few reporters allowed in for this begin to buzz with excitement~
Who’Re: Due to OCW rules and regulations...an OCW Champion cannot hold any other titles aside from the Tag Team Championships. So, Xavier Lux was forced to relinquish the Savage Championship moments ago. But, out of respect, I allowed him to pick the two candidates he felt were most deserving...and, well, Xavier Lux...a fair man...a man of vision selected BRIM, an act of fairness. Giving the former Savage Champion a chance to redeem himself. And, he also personally selected...Thaddeus Duke! An act of vision. Duke, of course, earned a title shot at House of Cards by defeating Ed Houston.
~More crowd buzzing~
Who’Re: That brings us to the Craze Championship. Peter Vaughn continues to defy all expectations. I doubt even Peter’s mother would have been so bold as to predict the success he’s currently enjoying. Vaughn will look to continue his success at Under the Lights as he defends his Craze Championship against...Dylan Thomas! And, if Peter Vaughn defeats Dylan Thomas, he will receive an OCW Title shot at the October Pay Per View.
~Who’Re tries to suppress her smile. This card sounds very exciting~
Who’Re: And, finally, we’ve got a female on the OCW roster. Betsy Granger shocked pro wrestling when she answered Vhodka Black’s open challenge and walked out with the TransAtlantic Championship. So, of course, Betsy is obligated to defend her belt at Under the Lights. Who should she face? Well, it won’t be an open challenge...not anymore. OCW has outgrown that. Nope, Betsy wants one person...and only that one person will do. So, Mack O’Connor...you’ve been booked to challenge Betsy Granger for the TransAtlantic Championship. This is your FINAL opportunity to reclaim the belt you love so much and...should you fail to show up, you will be terminated and sent back to prison.
~Gasps from the crowd. Will Mack show up?~
Who’Re: In a special...showcase match, James Raven will return to an OCW ring to face OCW’s #1 enemy, The Incredible One. Now, while I completely disagree with Tony Savage signing TIO...a terrible mistake. I do acknowledge that this match has huge appeal and will draw a strong portion of the audience all on its own. I also imagine that whoever emerges victorious will likely be in place for a title shot in October. So, having said that...Go James Raven!
~Whew, these are a lot of matches. What happened to little OCW?~
Who’Re: I’ve gone back and forth on these next two match ups. But, I’ve decided on what I think is most fair. Mike Zybala and Ed Houston have had the hardest luck of any two wrestlers since OCW returned. So, we’ll put them against each other...and, when the bell rings and a winner is announced, one of these two men will end their losing streak.
~The press is like “yea, that makes sense.”~
Who’Re: That match leaves Crash Rodriguez and Ian Dream as the lone two roster members without a match...so, they’ll face each other. Both competitors looking to make a name for themselves here in OCW. Both with a lot to prove...moreso than anybody else on this roster. We’ll see, at Under the Lights, which of these two wrestlers has what it takes to shoot up the OCW ladder.
~The MIX logo appears~
Who’Re: And that brings us to THE MIX. OCW Tag Team Champions Them No Good Bastards will defend the OCW Tag Titles against either the winners of the Mix or the second place team. If the winning Mix team decides to challenge for the Tag Titles...then, yes, they will face Them No Good Bastards at Under the Lights. However, if the winning MIX team chooses to split and face one another for a title shot, that match will open the show and the second place MIX team will face Them No Good Bastards for the OCW Tag Titles later in the show. Fingers crossed whoever comes out of the Mix and challenges these...these bastards brings the OCW titles back home.
~Who’Re sighs. Finally, she got it all out~
Who’Re: And that just about covers it for Under the Lights. A massive event that will, once again, alter the course of OCW history. Be sure to tune in on Labor Day – Monday, September 6th for all the action! Until then...keep watching Piledriver for all OCW updates and ENJOY THE MIX!
~Who’Re smiles and nods toward the camera as we fade out~
OCW Presents: Under the Lights
LIVE! Monday, September 6th, 2021
From Ratliff Stadium in Odessa, Texas
OCW Championship
Savage Championship
Craze Championship
Tag Team Championship
TransAtlantic Championship
Singles Match
Singles Match
Singles Match
‘Venom’ Xavier Lux (c) vs. Outcast (c)
BRIM vs. Thaddeus Duke
Peter Vaughn (c) vs. Dylan Thomas
Them No Good Bastards (c) vs. TBA
Betsy Granger (c) vs. Mack O'Connor
James Raven vs. The Incredible One
Ed Houston vs. Mike Zybala
Crash Rodriguez vs. Ian Dream