OCW Presents: Piledriver
Wednesday, July 14th, 2021
Taped from the OCW Studio
Episode #9

~Oh look, it’s an ad for the Olympics. Did you know those were just around the corner? You didn’t? Well, neither did I. Guess it’s a good thing we’re getting spammed with these fucking ads, then. The ad ends and another starts about...slavic girls? What the fuck is going on? Who got on this computer? It was your unemployed neighbor, wasn’t it? Fuckin degenerate. Ya try to skip the ad BUT it’s got that 5 second ‘MUST PLAY’ policy. Which, finally, comes to an end before anything terrible like your third wife walking in and assuming you’re cruising for a fourth. The OCW logo flashes...followed by the striking YELLOW image belonging to PILEDRIVER! That’s right fiends and freaks...it’s Wednesday night once again! So, let’s toss it down to Cheasy where...uhhh...wait a minute, that’s not Cheasy. That’s...OCW GM Who’Re...and she’s NOT happy. LET’S LISTEN IN~

Who’Re: Are you seriously asking me that?

OCW Producer: Well, ma’am, I just thought it’d be topical. Show last night’s Across Enemy Lines match as tonight’s From the Vault. Feedback we’ve been receiving indicates fans want more relevant matches…

Who’Re: diVersity!!!!

~She shrieks. Members from her personal security team rush in and beat the producer unconscious with their clubs. Who’Re storms off, fuming. Greg is rushing to keep up~

Who’Re: The audacity of that MAN to suggest we air that atrocity on OCW programming. I want it STRICKEN, Greg. STRICKEN.

Greg: You’ve got it, boss.

Who’Re: And that...that...I can’t even say his name. The minute his feet hit Key West...you deal with him, got it?

Greg: Got it. What are you going to do?

Who’Re: I’m going to try and get this erroneous result overturned. Bring the OCW Titles back where they belong.

~Greg wonders how in the hell she can do that. Who’Re storms off. Greg turns toward diVersity~

Greg: Well you heard the boss! Find TIO and take care of him!

~It doesn’t take much for diVersity to march toward their next order...objective - find and punish The Incredible One. And, with that, we finally cut to the OCW Studio where Cheasy M sets behind the Piledriver desk. He exhales, deeply~

Cheasy M: Hello fans and welcome to another week of OCW Piledriver. It’s been a rough 24 hours...so I won’t get into the details. All I’ll say is...The Incredible One, buddy...actions have consequences. And, I think I speak for this entire promotion when I say I can’t wait for you to get yours.

~Cheasy, like the rest of OCW, is disgusted with TIO. He composes himself and moves on~

Cheasy M: We’re smack dab in the middle of the final week of promos for House of Cards...an event that’s shaping up to be one of the best in OCW history. Four matches...but all marquee events.

~Cheasy reads some notes on a piece of paper~

Cheasy M: Plus, if what I’m hearing is correct...we’ll be adding two NEW matches to the card TONIGHT.

~Cheasy does the ‘wow’ face~

Cheasy M: And, as if that weren’t enough...I’ll be sitting down with CFO Tony Savage...I’m told Mr. Savage has a HUGE announcement regarding OCW’s popular tournament - The Margarita Mix. OCW’s CFO will also drop some information regarding NEW sponsors.

~Cheasy shakes his head...such a big show! He continues sifting through his notes~

Cheasy M: Plus, we’ll be hearing from the OCW roster as they continue to work on making alliances heading into House of Cards. It’s an event where paranoia will be at an all-time high. So, knowing who you can and cannot trust will be at an absolute premium. All of that and much more!

~Cheasy spins around, catching up with a camera cut~

Cheasy M: But first...let’s lighten the mood. Things around here have been pretty tense and edgy since yesterday’s tag match. So, i figured we’d dip into the vault and pull out one of OCW’s most entertaining matches…

Cheasy M: If you don’t recognize the image over my left shoulder...then you don’t deserve to watch OCW TV...so, FIND SOMETHING ELSE.

~Cheasy laughs~

Cheasy M: I’m just kidding...but that’s obviously OCW Hall of Famer, Alice Knight...if the name didn’t give it away. Alice’s in-ring accomplishments were more than enough to earn her a spot in OCW’s Hall of Fame...but, it was her personality and charisma that truly set her apart from the rest.

~We get a shot of owls, ants, mustard, cats, and bums~

Cheasy M: She’s one of the greatest innovators in OCW history. She faced Roach in the Jurassic Park area within Universal Studios Orlando. She fought Bob Grenier inside a Giant BirdCage. She faced Aidan Collins in a Spooky Ghost Match. She started the OwlisNight Movement. She’s the innovator of the Mustard Factory. I think it’s safe to say there will never be another Alice Knight.

~The image of an anchor is shown~

Cheasy M: But, perhaps the most classic Alice Knight match took place during Lost at Sea. Inside a ring set out over the ocean. The first ever ‘Anchor Match’ in OCW history. Alice Knight would face Bradley Carrington for the strangely appropriately named ‘Oceanic Championship’. So, sit back and enjoy the insanity...it’s a match unlike any other in company history.

OCW Oceanic Championship
Anchor Match
Alice Knight (11-2) vs. “The Professor” Bradley Carrington (10-4)

~The cameras cut to the Oceanic Ring Area! The horseshoe of floating stands surrounding the ring, filled with fans goes wild! We see Gruff inside the ring with the Oceanic Title in his hands…it’s old, dilapidated but, hey, it’s CLASSIC OCW! We hear Belvedere’s voice over the loud speakers strategically placed all around the area for maximum volume efficiency~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for the Oceanic Championship Match!! This will be an Anchor Match! The Oceanic Championship will be hooked to a chain and tossed into the ocean…the first participant to pull the belt out of the water, unhook it and return, with it in their possession, inside the ring will be declared the winner and the NEW OCW Oceanic Champion!

~ "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" by Weezer hits! We hear the motor of a tiny boat fire up in the distance. Bradley Carrington comes into view, being driven toward the ring by an OCW employee. He holds his book high in the air! The crowd boos…several chant “JULLIET!” at him. Carrington ignores the chants, basking in his own glory~

Belvedere: Introducing first, from Ithaca, New York…standing 6 feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs…“The Professor” Bradley Carrington!!!

~Carrington steps off the tiny boat and onto the steel, circular platform that surrounds the outside of the ring. He heads toward the apron and rolls inside the ring…he pops to his feet and holds the book high yelling “YOU COULD ALL LEARN SOME VALUABLE LESSONS FROM THIS BOOK!” The fans chant back “FUCK YOUR BOOK! FUCK YOUR BOOK!” Carrington scoffs, “Cursing is for the weak minded.”~

Belvedere: And…his opponent!

~The crowd goes wild knowing who is up next! ”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy blasts throughout the area! The motor of a second boat is barely heard over the crowd’s pandemonium! The boat is CUSTOM MADE (like you’d expect anything less). It’s got the head of an OWL! The sides are OWL WINGS. The fans begin to “HOOT” when they see the boat make its way into the ‘ring area’. It coasts over the water…Alice has something in her hands. The boat reaches the ring area and Alice hops off, onto the metal surface surrounding the ring. She sits on the apron and takes a moment, or three to bounce around to her own entrance theme~

Belvedere: From Bethel, New York….standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Champion and a current OCW Hall of Famer…she is…ALICE KNIGHT!

Smith: THERE SHE IS!

Hood: Of course he SCREAMS her name and not Bradley’s…shit’s fuckin rigged, man

~Alice stops bouncing and pauses for a moment, looking a bit unsteady~

Smith: A little known fact…Alice has been known to suffer from sea sickness

Hood: SERIOUSLY?

Smith: Yes, I would never lie about Alice

Hood: Oh man, this match just became a hell of a lot more interesting

~Alice takes in a deep breath and rolls into the ring. She gets to her feet and says, loudly ‘I’M OKAY…EVERYBODY, I’M OOOOKAY!’ Carrington stands back, observing her behavior. Alice finally reveals what’s in her hands. It’s THE BOOK OF ALICE! It’s illustrated in crayon with a stickfigure on the front we can only ASSUME is Alice. She flips through the pages…the camera zooms in. It’s all handwritten, in crayon…there are very few words. Carrington scoffs, torn between offended and amused in condescended fashion. Gruff groans about having to work out over the water. He steps through the ropes and hooks the title to a chain, dropping it into the ocean…it sinks until the slack in the chain tightens. He rolls back into the ring, gingerly, complaining about his hip. Alice laughs and says ‘OH GRUFF!”~

Smith: Anchor away! The belt is now hanging amidst the deep blue sea!

Hood: What if a shark eats it

Smith: A shark won’t eat it

Hood: Don’t those Jaguar Sharks eat whatever they can fit in their mouths?

Smith: TIGER sharks…and, yes, sometimes

Hood: Good, let’s throw Alice’s WEAK ASS book in there

Smith: HOW DARE YOU

~Gruff yells out “RING THE FUCKING BELL FOR FUCK’S SAKE” and the bell rings! The crowd is WHITE HOT. Carrington looks at Alice with disgust at this point, unable to understand why he has to face such goofy competition. Alice keeps holding her book high in the air. Bradley points at it and laughs, in mocking fashion. A number suddenly blares over the loud speakers followed by the message “CALL THIS NUMBER TO ORDER ALICE’S BOOK! HOOT!” Every fan around the ring starts to dial the number. Carrington stands upright, this catches his attention~

Smith: Jealousy, perhaps?

Hood: Over what? I’d say her thick head of hair but Carrington has GREAT hair! Plus, Alice’s hair is probably filled with ants.

Smith: I think he’s jealous that people are buying her book and not his

Hood: That’s because these fuckers can’t read…notice how they had to ANNOUNCE purchasing instructions?

~Carrington becomes filled with rage. He takes his thick, leather bound novel and charges at Alice. Alice spots Carrington coming...he isn’t hard to miss, not exactly being coy about it. She takes her skinny, hard plastic cover book and holds it up. Their books CLASH! in the center of the ring. The fans are finished ordering and watch the spectacle…it’s Alice’s book pressed against Bradley’s…a true test of strength and, well, some might say intelligence~

Smith: C’mon, Alice! That’s hard plastic, Hood…made to last all types of falls.

Hood: And which audience typically drops their books?

Smith: I don’t know

Hood: CHILDREN…but, shit, they wouldn’t read that book because they’d be too offended. They are too advanced. That book should be used as a door stop for truck stop bathrooms or to help level a table inside a Waffle House…THAT’S IT

~An edge on the corner of Alice’s book starts to scrape across the leathered cover of Carrington’s. He realizes what’s happening and pulls his book away. He looks down, inspecting the damage and finds a slight scratch. Before he can react, Alice ‘thumps’ him on the head with her book. The fans laugh! Alice covers her mouth and does an exaggerated laugh. Carrington’s face turns red…he looks down at the mat. His jaw begins to tighten~

Smith: Haha! She’s something else, isn’t she?

Hood: I can’t argue that…although I think we’re on different wave lengths

Smith: And look how durable that book is! Perfect coffee table material! I think I’m going to buy another one!

Hood: How are you the one with the college degree? You are fucking retarded, man

~Carrington looks up at Alice. She doesn’t notice. She’s too busy snickering and playing to the audience. He springs forward and drops Alice with a clothesline!! Alice hits the mat hard! The crowd stops laughing and starts to BOOO. Carrington takes Alice’s book and he flings it out of the ring, far enough to hit the water. It floats for a moment before starting to sink. The crowd BOOS even louder. Carrington calmly takes his book and sets it up against the bottom buckle in his corner. He stands back, hands on his hips, admiring his leather bound prose~

Smith: BOOO!

Hood: Oh fuck off with your boos

Smith: He didn’t have to do that

Hood: It’s a match, you idiot! For the Oceanic championship which, well, might be a ludicrous concept but it’s still SOMETHING

~While admiring his book, Alice recovers. She sneaks up behind Carrington and rolls him up from behind! Gruff just looks at her~

Smith: Uh, Alice…you can’t pin people in this match

Hood: She’s terrible

~Carrington kicks out. Alice looks at Gruff…Gruff points toward the area with the anchor. Alice goes “oohhh, that’s right!” and she slaps her knee, laughing. Carrington, meanwhile, is back on his feet. He charges at Alice, who is doubled over, laughing…he lifts a knee…but Alice lifts up, dodging it! Carrington’s momentum takes his legs up into the air, causing him to land on his back. Alice hits the ropes…she bounces off and leaps into the air, crashing down atop Carrington with a Senton. The crowd goes wild HOOTING~

Smith: Way to go, Alice! You show that pompous jerk that it takes more than a good education to be successful

Hood: Wow, so that’s our narrative now...be dumb?

Smith: No, I’m just saying the way Carrington flaunts his ego and education is annoying…especially in the face of someone like Alice who comes from meager origins

Hood: So if you were hiring a key position in a company and two people applied…one a bum…the other an Ivy League grad…you’d seriously consider the bum?

Smith: Back to the action!

~Sitting up, Alice eyes Bradley’s book. She crawls toward it and picks it up. She sits with her back to the bottom buckle and opens it up, giving it a read. She squints and scratches her head a bit~

Smith: Just as I thought…pompous drivel

Hood: Or…perhaps she doesn’t understand any word that travels beyond two syllables

~Alice’s eyes suddenly widen. She clutches her stomach and gets to her feet. The crowd becomes concerned. She kneels near the ropes and leans over the second rope, gasping for air. Carrington gets to his feet and takes in the scene~

Smith: Oh no!! She started reading…it’s making her sea sick!

Hood: Why the fuck is she even out here?

Smith: Because she’s a Hall of Famer!

Hood: Yea and so is TGO but you don’t see his arrogant ass out here

Smith: That’s because he’s busy bothering people somewhere else

~Carrington notices the book is missing. He’s appalled. He heads toward Alice to get his book back. Alice dry heaves. Carrington takes a few steps back. Alice drops the book onto the metal surface surrounding the ring. Carrington is unsure how to approach…it’s as if there’s a moat between him and his destination. The moat being a potential spray of puke from the homeless mouth of Alice Knight~

Smith: Well this is something you don’t encounter everyday

Hood: I’m sure Carrington doesn’t want to catch AIDS

Smith: You can’t get AIDS from vomit

Hood: You sure about that?

Smith: Yes, like ninety percent sure

~Carrington awkwardly approaches Alice from behind. He grabs her around the waist. Someone from the crowd yells “RAPE!” Carrington pauses. Gruff rolls his eyes telling Carrington to ignore that “crazy flimflam”. Carrington hooks Alice around the waist…he deadlifts her and tosses her across the ring with a Release German Suplex! Alice lands on her head and neck and slides near the ropes. Carrington quickly checks his arms and hands…they are clean of any sort of vomit. He sighs with relief~

Smith: Poor Alice

Hood: At least she didn’t projectile vomit all over the place while flying through the air

Smith: I don’t see how she can compete with this ailment

Hood: SHE ATE FISH TACOS BEFORE THE MATCH IT’S HER OWN DAMN FAULT

Smith: There’s no proof of that!

Hood: Oh, give it another minute…there will be proof all over that damn ring

~Displaying his tremendous athleticism, Bradley leaps over the top rope all the way to the metal surface with ease. He lands safely and bends over to pick up his book. He’s about to place it back in his corner when the wind blows it open. He’s grabbed, emotionally, by the words on the page. He leans against the apron with his hand over his chest, reading the moving passage. The fans begin to boo~

Smith: Oh please

Hood: Quiet…this is deeply moving

Smith: This is a joke…that’s what this is

Hood: Oh and like Miss puke my guts out wasn’t? Bradley is reading the greatest piece of literature since Ulysses…let the man be!

~Carrington is about to put it up when he just can’t help himself…he turns a page. We hear him say, out loud “Such a page turner.” He turns the page and continues reading. Alice gets to her feet and spots Carrington leaning against the apron, reading. She sprints his way and performs a baseball slide, kicking Carrington in the back!! Bradley stumbles forward…the book slips from his hands and falls into the water! Carrington looks at the book in the water and screams “NOOO!!” The crowd goes wild. A ‘FUCK YO BOOK!’ chant breaks out~

Smith: Haha! Take that Mr. Pompous Professor!

Hood: Oh wow, great one there, Smith

Smith: Thank you, Hood.

Hood: I was being sarcastic

~The book floats atop the blue water. Carrington seeks to retrieve it. He stands near the edge and starts to reach for the book when, suddenly, an oceanic whitetip breaches and bitches into the book! Another oceanic whitetip pops up and helps…together they shred the book to pieces! Carrington nearly falls into the water, startled…he manages to shift his weight backward, falling on his ass. He crabwalks as quickly as he can away from the water. The two oceanic whitetips take the book down into the water, continuing to devour it. The book will never be seen again. The crowd is ravenous, chanting “WHITE TIP! WHITE TIP!”~

Smith: Thank goodness…now we can move on from that stupid book

Hood: Classless whitetips…A Great White would have gladly delivered that back to The Professor

Smith: I guess we’ll never know

Hood: I’m jonesing for some fin soup right about now…Oceanic Whitetip fin soup

~Carrington returns to his feet…Alice is on the apron behind him. She leaps off and latches onto his back with a Sleeper Hold! Carrington is annoyed…he tries to throw her off, over his head, but she’s clutching too tight. So, he rushes backward and slams her into the pole! Alice lets go and falls to her knees. Carrington stands over her…he grabs her hair and pulls back, exposing her face to the point where it’s looking up at him. He spits in her face and tosses her to the side. Alice falls over, lying on her side atop the metal surface. Carrington marches around the ring, looking for the anchor~

Smith: Crushing…c’mon Alice! Get back up…hurry before this pompous jerk becomes Oceanic Champion!

Hood: Boy you’re something else

Smith: I can’t help it…she’s like a fourth cousin to me

Hood: So close enough to explain the fandom but far enough down the branch to fuck?

Smith: I WOULD NEVER

~Carrington has to walk all the way across the ring to the opposite side before finding the chain that holds the belt. His body language seems to insinuate that he thinks this is a stupid stipulation. He bends down and grabs the chain…he’s very careful and cautious – I guess seeing two giant sharks maul your favorite book moments earlier might do that to a person. He slowly begins to pull the chain up. Alice is still down on the other side of the ring~

Smith: This isn’t good…I think Alice is going to lose

Hood: I HOPE so…that title hasn’t been seen in almost twenty years and the first person to hold it is…ALICE KNIGHT…c’mon

Smith: I think she’d make a great Oceanic Champion

Hood: Maybe the Indian Ocean…the shittiest of all the oceans

~Carrington continues to pull. He’s probably wondering how long the chain is at this point. Alice gets to her feet on the other side and rolls into the ring, holding her back. Carrington sees something several feet deep beginning to emerge. “Finally,” he says. He pulls faster…the object rushes toward him…it breaches! Carrington, again, is startled! He staggers back, letting go of the chain! The object flops onto the metal surface…it’s Alice’s book! The crowd goes wild~

Smith: Now that’s what I call a good book!

Hood: I’m telling you…this woman is a fucking gypsy. That book is cursed! How the fuck else do you explain that?

Smith: Good luck…I mean it did sink…so it must have got caught up in the chain.

Hood: Are you sure she didn’t, like, pay one of her loser friends to snorkel down there, helping her out

Smith: SHE WOULD NEVER

~Carrington…once he realizes what popped out of the water goes from stunned to furious. He stands and kicks the book back into the water. He floats for a while, longer than before. Alice steps through the ropes behind Carrington and hops onto his shoulders. Carrington is caught by surprise…he reaches up, trying to grab a limb or some hair. Alice is in the Electric Chair position…she jerks back and tosses Carrington on his head with a Reverse Rana!! The top of Carrington’s head SLAMS into the metal surface surrounding the ring! The fans go wild! The Professor ends up on his stomach…the toes of his boots are hanging over, in the ocean~

Smith: Yes! That a girl!

Hood: A reverse rana…what the shit?

Smith: She’s more than meets the eye

Hood: That ain’t saying much

~Alice pops to her feet, excited she pulled such a high risk move off! She starts to hoot along with her fans, flapping her wings. The impact from the move has caused the ring area to slosh around a bit. She pauses…her stomach feels the unsettled nature of the surface. She bends over and yells “OH NO!” The crowd gasps in horror~

Smith: Is she…please no…not on national television!

Hood: Well, it is STARZ

Smith: Still, how embarrassing

Hood: It’s Alice…she’s beyond embarrassment

~Alice dry heaves and falls to her knees…she leans back for air, looking into the sky. She holds up a finger…pauses and then says “It’s okay…I’M OKAY!” The crowd applauds. She gets to her feet and goes after Carrington. Bradley is back on his feet, waiting for this nonsensical woman. He gives her an elbow to the top of the head. Alice staggers back. Carrington is about to kick her in the gut but hesitates…he chooses a different method of destruction. He grabs her by the throat with both hands, lifts her up and drops her onto the metal surface with a double handed chokeslam into a powerbomb!! Alice hits hard! The fans boooo! Carrington gets up and heads for the anchor chain~

Smith: No!!!

Hood: Thank whatever deity you follow…Carrington put that bitch DOWN

Smith: By Otep

Hood: Huh?

Smith: Sorry, I just really love Julliet’s song

Hood: Fuckin hell man, get your shit together

~Bradley grabs the chain much quicker and with more confidence than the last time. He starts pulling it up. In doing so, he sees Alice’s book still floating. He scoffs. He says very mean things about her literary work. His frustration turns from the book to the length of the chain. He continues to pull…something shimmers far beneath the surface. It HAS to be the Oceanic Title. He’s getting close! The fans start to stomp their feet and cheer for Alice to get up. But, she’s still down. Suddenly, we see a few dolphins swim by. Carrington pauses and steps back, at first. However, once he realizes they are the ‘safe’ fish, mammal, whatever…he resumes pulling the title to the surface. One dolphin, in particular, swims toward Alice’s book. The dolphin dives under the book and kicks it’s fin up, slapping the book out of the water and through the air. It hits Bradley in the head. The dolphins make their dolphin noises. Carrington drops the chain…the title, a few feet from the surface, plunges all the way back into the deep. It takes Carrington a few seconds to realize what’s happened…but once he does, he is beyond furious~

Smith: Gosh I love dolphins!

Hood: What’s with nature today…did Carrington go spearing with a Japanese fishing crew before coming out here? This is ridiculous!

Smith: Alice is just one with nature…she lives a harmonious lifestyle. Ants, cats, owls…dolphins…they love her!

Hood: It makes me fucking sick

~Carrington grabs Alice’s book. By now it’s probably top five on his list of most hated inanimate objects. He tries to rip it in half but the hard plastic is too much. So, in his fury, he just flings it back into the water…he throws it as far as he can. It slams against the plastic partition keeping the fans safe…it ricochets off and hits the water, floating innocuously atop the surface once more. Carrington waits for it to sink…it finally starts to sink and he lets out a sigh of relief “GOOD RIDDANCE” he says. He goes back to pulling the chain up. Alice rises from behind. She’s holding the back of her head…her expression almost looks hungover. She spots Bradley pulling the chain out of the water and becomes focused~

Smith: C’mon, Alice! Stop him! Stop that man!

Hood: Fall into the water you crazy woman! Get eaten by a shark!

Smith: I told you…she’s one with nature…that won’t happen

Hood: There’s got to be some rogue animal out there willing to eat her who doesn’t give a fuck about being ‘one with nature’.

~Knight gets to her feet and climbs onto the apron. She runs and jumps at Carrington…she appears to be going for a bulldog. Carrington, using his major strength and weight advantage, is able to keep from falling forward into the water. He does, however, drop the chain. He is able to hoist Alice up in an atomic drop position. He turns around…facing the ring, looking to drop her on the apron. Alice kicks at the ropes…she kicks off them, spins Carrington toward the steps and drops him with a bulldog on the steps!!! The crowd goes wild! Carrington is on his knees, face first on top of the steps. Alice lands on her feet safely on the other side~

Smith: Yes! Yes!

Hood: Now I’m the one who’s going to be sick

Smith: Oh toughen up buttercup!

Hood: Excuse me?

~Carrington begins to stir. Alice needs to do more damage to The Professor. However, out on the metal…she starts to become queasy again. She theorizes that the ring is more stable…better for her Fish Taco filled stomach. So, she grabs Carrington and rolls him into the ring. She slides in behind him. Carrington gets to his feet, holding his head…Alice pops to her feet and knees him in the gut…she follows that up with a Double Arm DDT!! Carrington hits the mat and flips onto his back! Alice returns to her feet…she’s a little uneasy…still a bit squeamish, but she sucks it up and hits the ropes…she tucks and rolls toward Carrington before reaching her feet and flipping over with Rolling Thunder!! The crowd erupts! They start HOOTING again! Alice returns to her feet and does the ‘Ric Flair’ strut…only she’s flapping her arms with each strut, pretending to be an owl. The crowd chants along with each step “HOOT! HOOT!”~

Smith: What a moment! I live for these moments!

Hood: I bet half our audience has tuned out by now

Smith: You kidding me? Alice is RATINGS

Hood: Yea, for whatever is airing on HBO or Showtime…or, and I hate to say this…CINEMAX

~Finally, someone in the crowd yells. “ALICE MY DEAR, I LOVE YOU BUT, PLEASE, GO FOR THE BELT!” Alice pauses and salutes in the direction she thinks the voice came from…it was actually on the opposite side of stands, but whatever. She’s probably got a touch of vertigo. Alice hops through the ropes and lands on the metal surface. She reaches the chain and begins to pull. It’s heavy and, as we saw with Carrington, long. She pulls and pulls. She starts to drip with sweat. She reaches for her stomach – not feeling well AT ALL. But, she continues. Carrington, meanwhile, sits up in the center of the ring, trying to remember what’s going on. Alice continues to pull…she pauses and lets out a silent belch. She is not looking good. She continues to pull though…a few fans in the stands wince, feeling a sense of what she’s experiencing~

Smith: Ugh, poor Alice

Hood: I have no sympathy for that woman.

Smith: Then you have no heart!

Hood: Fine by me…means it can’t attack and kill me

~Like Carrington earlier, Alice spots the shine and shimmer of the belt nearing the surface. “Almost there,” she says while looking at her stomach, rubbing it gently. She continues pulling it up. Carrington looks over his shoulder, spotting Alice pulling the chain. He rolls toward the edge of the ring and sits atop the apron. He gets to his feet on the apron and leaps off with a double axe handle to the back of Alice’s head!! She drops the chain…the belt disappears back into the blue abyss. Carrington snares Alice by the hair before she can fall into the water. He yanks her violently back…her back SLAMS into the edge of the apron. Carrington throws a stiff kick into her upper chest/throat area, avoiding her stomach. Alice falls to her knees. She rolls onto her back, staring up into the clear blue sky. Carrington rolls into the ring and heads to a corner…he appears ready to be finished with this nonsense~

Smith: What is he going to do

Hood: Something awesome

Smith: Hasn’t she been through enough? LEAVE HER ALONE

Hood: Calm down man, geez

~Carrington is standing on the top buckle. He looks down at Alice with loathsome hate…that’s some next level hate. He decides to take it up a notch. He stands atop the ring post. Alice is positioned with her feet facing the ring. Her head is dangerously near the edge of the metal surface. The water rises and occasionally hits her hair. Carrington closes his eyes, gathering the energy and composure he needs to pull this off. A creature swims up to Alice. It’s THAT DAMN DOLPHIN. It’s carrying her book in its mouth. Alice looks over and sees the dolphin. She reaches with her hand and takes the book. The dolphin quickly and quietly dives back under the water. Carrington bends his knees, eyes still closed, and he leaps off with a Shooting Star Press! The crowd inhales with awe at the move. Carrington is so graceful, so athletic…it’s picture perfect. Alice lifts her book up, while still on her back as defense. On the way down, Carrington sees the book…he displays tremendous agility and athleticism in being able to manipulate the landing so he lands on his feet, stumbling over Alice, avoiding landing on whatever it was that appeared. He staggers forward and then backward…he finally straightens up and looks down at Alice. And, he sees it…THE FUCKING BOOK. You can almost see the flames going off in his eyes as they are filled with fury~

Smith: One with nature, Hood. One with nature

Hood: I’m going to burn that fucking book…fuck it

Smith: That’s so 1940s Germany, Hood

Hood: Some books need to be burned, Smith

~Carrington rips at the book. Alice won’t let go. She gets to her feet…the two are having a tug of war over Alice’s book~

Smith: Look at how in demand that book is!

Hood: Please, spare me

Smith: I’m sorry, I do not have a copy to spare

Hood: Fuck off

~The slick, wet surface slips from their grips…the book flies through the air, landing in the center of the ring. Both competitors stare at it for a second before Carrington slams Alice with a forearm uppercut! Alice staggers back…Carrington grabs her head…he hooks her and drops her on the metal surface with a snap suplex!! Alice arches her back in pain. They are inches from the chain. Carrington grabs the chain and wraps it around Alice’s throat! He starts choking her out! The fans boooo!! Gruff, who has just been checking his pager in the ring, responds to the increased booing. He watches from inside the ring and waits to see if the match needs to be stopped~

Smith: Stop choking her! Disqualify him!

Hood: Nope…it’s within the rules.

Smith: What a hideous man

Hood: After everything he’s been through in this shit show of a match…I’d say Alice is fortunate Carrington didn’t shoot her in the face

~Alice, while being choked, has enough awareness to pull the chain up. There’s no escaping the choke hold. Carrington is furious and he’s not letting go until Alice stops moving. Alice continues pulling the chain up. She pulls and pulls…the shimmer of the title shines once more…the crowd rises…this might be it…the title may surface! It does! The Oceanic Championship breaches the water. Alice muscles it up onto the metal platform. Carrington, hearing the reaction from the crowd opens his eyes. He spots the title and immediately drops the chain. He lunges for the belt, grabbing hold. This gives Alice an opportunity to unwrap the chain from her throat. She coughs and coughs, getting on all fours~

Smith: Good news…Alice can breathe. Bad news…Carrington has the darn belt!

Hood: So he wins, right?

Smith: No, he must have control of the belt INSIDE the ring

Hood: *slaps his hands on top of the announce table* MOTHER FUCKER…IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING

~Carrington attempts to seize the opportunity with Alice coughing her lungs up. He unhooks the belt from the chain and gets to his feet, heading for the ring. Alice, though, isn’t a Hall of Famer without merit…she reaches out and grabs his foot, holding on for dear life. Carrington is stuck near the ring…he tries dragging Alice…he’s able to drag her a few feet before she wraps her leg around the chain. Now, they are stuck. Carrington drops the title onto the apron and goes after her. Alice, instinctively, rolls him up in a small package! There is no count…Carrington kicks out and both competitors are quickly on their feet. Alice’s neck is red and irritated from the choke job. Carrington’s face is still contorted due to an endless stream of frustration. As if riding the same mental wave (scary thought if you’re Carrington) both competitors dive at the belt. They reach the title at the same time, knocking it toward the center of the ring, near Alice’s book. They begin brawling once they realize it’s out of reach, the fans go wild~

Smith: This doesn’t look good…Alice can’t win a fist fight with Bradley Carrington

Hood: Damn straight

Smith: And that title is just sitting in the ring…all a competitor would have to do is get on top of it

Hood: Damn straight

~As predicted, Carrington is winning the brawl. Alice, though, throws a kick into his shin. This staggers the larger competitor. Alice dives for the apron…Carrington, though, snares her by the hair and yanks her back. Alice falls on her ass. Carrington heads for the apron. Alice grabs the chain and crawls toward Bradley. Carrington gets one knee up on the apron…Alice turns the chain into a metal lasso and hooks it around his other leg. Carrington tries lifting it up, but can’t…she got it hooked~

Smith: Hold onto that chain, Alice! Don’t let go!

Hood: Are you fucking kidding me? Carrington…shining wizard the bitch…knock her out!

~Bradley has to put his free foot down. He throws a Mule Kick at Alice. She dodges it and manages to hook that leg with the chain as well. She’s got him basically lassoed at the legs. Carrington hops around, trying to break free, but he can’t. Alice tries tying the chain together but…it’s a chain. So she keeps it tight and attempts to figure out what to do~

Smith: The minute she lets go of that chain he’s going to step out and be free

Hood: So, what, we just gonna sit here for fifteen fucking hours while she tries to use her dumb ass brain?

Smith: She’s in control…so as long as it takes, Hood.

~Alice is at a standstill, mentally. So, she does the one thing she can think of…she punches Bradley directly in the dick. Carrington falls over, grimacing in pain. The crowd erupts with cheers. Alice takes a moment to strut…but the fans quickly yell at her to get into the ring. She nods and heads for the apron~

Smith: Great move!

Hood: Ugh…fuck my life, fuck this world

~Carrington fights through the most horrific pain and man can endure…aside from living with a bitchy wife. He gets the chains off of his legs and stumbles to his feet, limping toward the apron. Alice slides into the ring. Bradley has to hurry. He hops onto the apron. Alice heads for the title…she takes off running, skipping over the title. This surprises Bradley. He’s on the apron, confused. Alice hits the ropes…she comes flying off and soars through the air with a knee strike! It hits Bradley right in the face!! Carrington flies off the apron and lands with a tremendous SPLAT onto the metal surface outside the ring! The crowd leaps to their feet with a huge ovation! Alice, on her feet…walks over and reaches for the book. The crowd yells ‘NO ALICE! THE TITLE! GRAB THE TITLE!” Alice makes a “OH, YEA, MY BAD” face and reaches for the title. She grabs it and the bell rings. The place goes bananas! It’s the loudest we’ve heard the event so far~

Smith: Yes! Yes!

Hood: Why do I put myself through this

Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW OCEANIC CHAMPION….ALICE KNIGHT!!!!!

Smith: She did it! What a woman! WHAT A MOMENT!

Hood: And that title is suddenly more worthless now than it ever was sitting in that warehouse under a bunch of junk

Smith: Not only did she claim the title…but she kept her book from being destroyed, dirtied, messed up…tremendous!

~Alice is smiling. The ring apparatus is swaying, however, from Bradley’s crash landing. Alice gets nauseous again. She dry heaves…this looks like it might be it and…SHE THROWS UP ALL OVER HER BOOK!! The crowd groans~

Smith: Ewww!

Hood: I told you she ate fish tacos!

Smith: Cut away! Cut away right now!

~We cut back to the Piledriver Studio~

Cheasy M: Messy ending but an entertaining match! One of a kind, really. Gotta love Alice Knight. Anyway...let’s cut to commercial and when we return...I catch up with OCW’s CFO...Tony Savage. Big announcements...after this break!

~We cut away~

~We are brought into a grainy visual of former OCW Tag Team Champions, Krayzie and Byson Kaliban. They must be using an Android to record but it appears that they are fresh off of their defeat at Across Enemy Lines. The two stand in front of a brick wall, Byson sports a towel around his shoulders while Krayzie holds the back of his neck. Both men appear agitated but not completely down about the loss. Taking a deep breath, Krayzie looks directly into the camera~

Krayzie: Well damn.. I played all kinda scenarios in my head on which way things could possibly go down tonight but shit..

~He stops and take a moment to collect his breathing~

Krayzie: Fuck, I'm getting too old for this.. but regardless, the fact remains. I never thought that we would lose the straps because of a powda head. A gah'damn cone!

~Byson's face turns from a menacing one to one that is totally confused~

Byson Kaliban: Cone?

~Krayzie shakes his head in disappointment~

Krayzie: Ugh.. It's a Memphis thing, just let me finish, boy..

~Byson throws his hands up in retreat~

Krayzie: Now.. like I was saying, TIO or TCO… The Coked-Out One.

Byson Kaliban: Hyphen Lives Matter..

Krayzie: They sure in the fuck do but you my friend, threw your runny nose into the wrong affairs. See, whatever you and Who'Re had going on didn't have a muthafuckin thing to do with what was going down in the DMZ. Ya see, I knew that, with Byson as my partner, defending the OCW Tag Team titles was going to be harder than usual but somewhere in your bugged out mind.. You thought that interfering in our match would make some sort of impact?

~Krayzie stops rubbing his neck and moves closer to the camera~

Krayzie: Well it didn't..

Byson Kaliban: Yeah, shit could've got really real if those guys knew that I was technically japanese..

~He interrupts, causing Krayzie to give him a side eye~

Krayzie: How was that relevant?

Byson Kaliban: I'm just saying, Pop.. You know that Asians have this complex where they beef over pointless shit but somehow it's made relevant and me, technically, being Japanese, could've made things a lot more worser..

Krayzie: Worser, is not a word..

Byson Kaliban: Only because the man says that it isn't.

~Byson points to his head as if he's made a profound thought. His father ignores him~

Krayzie: TIO.. You've brought the fire back to an old man and this right here, ain't dead. Thunder Knuckles. Bobby Bourbon.. You two muthafuckas got some fight in ya and I like that. But I'm pretty sure that we're gonna come across each other again. Especially when y'all finally get that briefcase opened..

~A smirk forms across Krayzie's face and the feed cuts out~

~ We cut once again to the hospital where Marcus Welsh is staying at, but we're not in the room. We are in the hallway and we see Marcus Welsh walking! He is using his IV stand to help hold him up as he walks. Mike Zybala, with his visitor's pass on his chest, is next to Marcus, ready to catch him in case he falls. The usual nurse is behind them, impatiently glancing at her watch as if waiting for visiting hours to be over so she can squeeze a bribe from Zybala. ~

Zybala: You're doing great Marcus! Just a few more feet and we turn back, o.k.? We can't push you to hard. Then we can go back to the room and break into the brownies Cathy made for you.

~The nurse's eye light up when she hears this. She stares harder at her watch as if urging time to hurry up~

Marcus Welsh: That sounds great, Mike. A few more feet...knowing what you're going to have to go through at House of Cards, I'd feel foolish if I didn't push myself a little farther.

~Welsh continues...one slow step at a time. He's very determined~

Marcus Welsh: Plus, I'm still not over that tag match from yesterday. I don't know why...but it's really got me angry. Almost to the point where, if I had the ability, I'd like to walk into OCW and remove that GM, Who'Re from power. What was she thinking?

Zybala: I hear you on that one, buddy. Yes, she was showing confidence in her tag team champs, but there are no guarantees in this business. She should have just let it be a cross promotion special attraction match and leave it be. I know if isn't my place, but I would have advised her against it had she asked me. We never let that happen when we ran things.... Easy there Speed Racer. Are you that eager to get back to laying in bed?

~ Welsh managed to get a little ahead of Zybala as if some part of his old self was shining through; the anger over the currant state of affairs making him get a little stronger. Welsh slows down and Zybala places a calming hand on his shoulder. ~

Zybala: Relax buddy. No use getting mad over things we can't control.

~Welsh nods. He knows he's got to relax. He spots a wheelchair. The injured inhabitant of the currently empty wheelchair is up, grabbing a drink of water. Welsh collapses, dramatically, into the wheelchair. Zybala grabs the back of the chair and begins wheeling Welsh through the hospital wing~

Marcus Welsh: It's just so stupid. Unfathomably so. I...ugh, the more I talk about it the angrier I get. We can't let something like that happen in Outsiders, Mike.

~ Zybala chuckles as he pushes the wheelchair. ~

Zybala: Don't you worry about that, my friend. Why do you think we only use old titles of replica's? That way if someone runs off with one, it's easily replaced. Outsiders titles are more about the spirit, not the physical belt themselves. Besides, only Outsiders can win Outsiders titles. I made sure that rule became legal after The Meyhu Incident. The only belt that can be won by a non-Outsider is the Omega X championship. That's because it has the old X-Factor title rule where it can be won by anyone under either OCWs contracts..

~The duo stop at a vending machine and Zybala starts rummaging through his pockets. ~

Zybala: You want anything? My treat.

~The nurse's ears perk up at this. Welsh stares at the items behind the glass casing. So many. Behind him, the nurse stares EVER HARDER...so much sugar. Such savorous items! She'd take the entire machine, if she could. Zybala, about to make Welsh's mind up for him, is interrupted before speaking. A voice down the hallway coming from a man in a wheelchair...he, like Welsh, is also suffering from some ailment...temporarily forced to rely on transportation to get around, for safety reasons~

Other Patient: A-haha! That was great! The way Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles handled those OCW punks. Woo!

~Uh oh. It's an avid B.O.B. fan in the same wing as Marcus Welsh. WHAT ARE THE ODDS. Welsh turns, eyeing the man. Zybala tries to calm him down~

Zybala: Marcus. It's okay. He's a nobody.

Marcus Welsh: You damn right.

~Welsh jerks his chair around and takes control of the wheels...he spins them as hard and as fast as he can. He speeds down the hall, toward the B.O.B. fan~

B.O.B. fan: What the...hey pal, where are ya going? Watch it...you're headed right for me!

Zybala: Marcus! Stop!

~Zybala sprints forward, trying to catch Welsh...but he's moving too fast. Welsh violently hits the brakes and flies from his chair, through the air, taking the B.O.B. fan down with an ugly spear!! The B.O.B. fan's chair spills over backward, the two men tumbling before coming to rest with Welsh mounting the B.O.B. fan...he starts to throw lefts and rights into the man's face~

Zybala: Holy...Marcus! Stop!

~Zybala leaps over the chair and grabs Welsh by the arms, dragging him away from the B.O.B. fan...but the damage is done. The fan moans...his face is battered, bruised, and bloody. Zybala, arms hooked under Welsh's arms...hands locked to prevent Welsh from moving, slides to the ground, seated against the wall for better leverage. Welsh, breathing heavily, stares daggers at the unconscious B.O.B. fan~

Zybala: Damn, Marcus. I'd say you're healing faster than anybody expected.

~Welsh tries to get free...but Zybala is too strong~

Zybala: This might not go over well with the hospital staff and authorities, though.

~Zybala hears a foot tapping against the tiled floor. He looks up to see the Nurse, arms folded, staring down. Zybala peeks around...she's the only witness~

Zybala: Damnit. This is gonna be expensive.

A FEW MINUTES LATER

~The B.O.B. fan is seated, sloppily in his chair. He's still unconscious...wheeled several feet away, facing the wall. Welsh is in his chair, calmer than before...but still not happy. Zybala, meanwhile, is plugging quarters and dollars into the vending machine faster than OCW can plug the fact they aren't accepting applications. A bag of twinkies fall down...he snares them, turns around and carefully places them atop the many...MANY items filling the Nurse's arms~

Zybala: Enough?

~The Nurse shakes her head 'no'. Zybala digs into his pants for more change~

Zybala: You're lucky you're my best bud, Marcus.

~We cut back to Cheasy M~

Cheasy M: Wow. Former OCW General Manager, Marcus Welsh taking the loss from last night’s event about as hard as our current GM, Who’Re. Well wishes to that hospital patient and their family. It’s a good thing Welsh’s nurse has an indefatigable sweet tooth.

~Camera cut. Cheasy adjusts~

Cheasy M: And now, moving on to happier times! We’ve got the OCW CFO in studio for what should be a very, very exciting interview. So, let’s get right to it...please welcome this week’s interview guest...Tony Savage!

~Cheasy M smiles big for the camera. He’s got some fake money in his hand. He throws the monopoly money in the air...it floats down as our view expands, showing Tony Savage seated to Cheasy’s right~

Cheasy M: What’s up, my man! Welcome to Piledriver!

~Fake money lands on the desk, around the two men, and on top of their heads~

Tony: *looks at the monopoly money on the ground.* Zybala's gonna be pissed you stole out if his board game collection for that stunt. Hey, Chease Whiz, thanks for having me on.

Cheasy M: Figured I'd break the bank for your appearance, seeing as you're looking to make OCW great again...financially speaking! So, what initially led to your hiring as CFO? You just kinda seemed to show up...did you contact Poblano? Did Poblano seek you out?

Tony: Besides the fact I posses a Master's in business administration from Georgia Tech, have a Hall of Fame resume, and a face that pushes merch like Juarez pipelines cocaine, Greg really didn't screen too many other candidates. In fact, he was gonna hire his nephew, but that fucking moron got caught on camera trying to bribe a Dade County sheriff. Dumbass!

~Cheasy laughs~

Cheasy M: A-haha...classic Poblano! Well he certainly appears to have made the right choice, let me tell ya! The past few weeks you've been trying to get TIO on the roster...yet it's failed to happen. Can we expect TIO and more wrestlers to join the roster post-House of Cards? Or, do you foresee the cap remaining at 8?

Tony:Oh, I FULLY expect to strap some dynamite to the roster cap and blast the damn wide open. We've got dozens of top shelf and up and coming talent across the industry banging on the door. There's just too much potential for dream feuds and revenue to pass up. Graps=Cash, Chease, and the more wrestlers clocked in, the the bigger the bank accounts get.

~Cheasy nods~

Cheasy M: I can relate to that...between you and me, I'm kinda running out of people to interview...not exactly eager to go round 2 with some of these angry muscleheads, ya know what I mean?

~Cheasy laughs. Tony just sorta looks at him~

Cheasy M: But, seriously...they're all great guys. Love em. We all know TIO is a name you're working to push through, into the main roster. Any other big names you're currently in contact with?

Tony smirks:Cheasy, look at the Twitter feed for OCW;the shit is VIP list! Thaddeus Duke signing on was just the tip of the iceberg. Crash Rodriguez wants in. You've got stars from other feds inquiring. Hell, even Jason Cashe's been chopping it up with our roster and staff. OCW has access now to a FUCKING all you can eat buffet, and it's time we dug in. And with the new sponsors and hype coming our way, we're getting the means to pay folks.

~Cheasy nods, licking his lips. Boy, he sure does miss the all-you-can-eat buffets. THANKS COVID. Hopefully they'll return soon. Anyway, Cheasy snaps out of his hunger induced mental lapse~

Cheasy M: Can't say the names get any bigger than those...personally, I've heard rumors of a certain free agent who might be appearing at House of Cards. Might be the biggest name in the business...can't wait to see if it come to fruition! But about sponsors...OCW's always had its fair share of unique sponsors...Gregory Poblano, currently, is our main financier. But I've heard you've got some new ones lined up...care to shed some light?

Tony:Mercedes-Benz is on deck to sponsor House of Cards. Gucci, Yoohoo, several others thanks to the efforts of a roster member I won't name, not just because he's gonna teach me how to fly a fighter jet! Plus, we gotta talk about these "margarita mix" rumors. Dad's got more toys for the kids.

~Cheasy pulls out some standard, lime Margarita Mix~

Cheasy M: Tequila makes their pants fall off, am i right, Tony?

~Cheasy laughs~

Cheasy M: But, yes...there have been rumors swirling that you've got an announcement regarding the Margarita Mix...so, since we've got you here, LIVE on Piledriver...care to enlighten everybody?

Tony:Major, MAJOR tag team tournament coming up, the Margarita Mix Lethal Lottery! Random tag teams assembled to brawl it out for the following: either a shot at tag team gold...WHICH, if things hold, would equate to a shot to retrieve the tag straps from Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon...Them No Good Bastards.. Oh, let's not forget; thanks to PATRON putting in some bills for sponsorship, each member of the winning team gets $200k CASH for going all the way!

~Cheasy leans back, blown away from this statement. He blinks several times, shaking his head~

Cheasy M: Holy smokes! That IS a big announcement, MAJOR, even. Any idea when people will be able to start signing up? I can't wait to see some of the names that show up for this!

Tony:*devilish grin* I can only do so much; we do have a GM right now acting out some weird Mean Girls cosplay, won't let people sit at the lunch table. After all, this is a woman that could have had TIO back in a heartbeat , but...*tsk*...dunno. I mean, no pressure. Just...lots of publicity, talent and money. piling up at the. Hey, cool. She handles personnel and booking. She wants to turn away or sit on this like bad takeout food. *shrugs* Ball's in your court, Peroxide Princess! Look forward to seeing some of that "leadership" you toot your horn about.

~Cheasy looks side to side. He knows Who'Re is always watching...and he's not exactly as 'protected' as Savage. So he doesn't agree or disagree~

Cheasy M: Well I certainly look forward to hearing some of the names that decide to take part in the Margarita Mix! Now, we all know you're still semi-active inside the ring...I'm sure there are plenty of fans watching who are curious if you'll ever lace them up and compete inside an OCW ring?

Tony:My path in ring is in a different direction for now. Besides, I've got too many responsibilities in the back office to pull extra duties. Who knows, though? Down the line, I might put away the captain's badge away and walk the beat here. You never know.

~Cheasy nods~

Cheasy M: Alright...well with House of Cards less than two weeks away...any predictions you'd like to throw down?

Tony:Yeah, buddy. *pulls out a pre-cut cigar and lights it* It's the start of a brand new era. One with pockets stuffed with this shit!

~Tony jams a few $100's in Cheasy's hand, winks, and walks away. Cheasy eyes the money in his pocket and mentally books a quick, weekend trip to the Bahamas for some casino fun~

Cheasy M: Wow, thanks Chief! That's OCW's acting CFO, Tony Savage, everyone! He's bringing star power, wealth, and talent to OCW. Huge announcements tonight...new sponsors, and the return of the Margarita Mix!

~Cheasy shakes his head...so many announcements!~

Cheasy M: And with that, let's cut to commercial break...because these shows don't pay for themselves. Sit tight, we'll be right back!

---

~We cut to the Marathon Jet Center. A private jet has landed. The door opens and a staircase finds itself nestled safely up to the place for personal departure. Out steps a woman...she’s dressed in an outfit that has to cost in the five digit range. Behind her steps an older man, about twenty years her senior, he’s puffing on a cigar...his smile is as big as the Atlantic coast line. And, behind them we spot a familiar face. It’s OCW turncoat...OCW’s Most Wanted Man...it’s The Incredible One. He pats the old man on the back...the trio look extremely happy~

Old Rich Man: Haha, boy you were right! Put it all on Knuckles and Bourbon! Hot damn, my boy! You made me a lot of money!

The Incredible One: It was my pleasure.

Old Rich Man: Are...are you sure you don’t want anything in return?

~They reach the bottom of the stairs, standing on the runway. The Old Man has his hand on TIO’s shoulder, looking very sincere. TIO kindly brushes his hand away~

The Incredible One: The act is reward enough, trust me. Plus, I believe, ultimately, I’ll get what I want.

~The Old Man nods, his eyes narrowing due to the harsh, Key West breeze~

Old Rich Man: Ah. The long game. Chess. Not checkers. A thinking man. I like it.

~A limo pulls up. The woman steps in. The Old Man thanks TIO...he offers TIO a ride. But, TIO spots something~

The Incredible One: I’d love to...but, I think travel arrangements have already been made.

~The limo pulls off. As soon as it does OCW GM Who’Re and diVersity show up. TIO sticks his chin out, An aura of arrogance wafts down, smacking Who’Re in the face~

Who’Re: So. You just flew back here without any cover or disguise. You think I’d just let you waltz back into Key West after what you did...what you’ve done?

The Incredible One: I don’t care. You can’t stop me. Now, give me my roster spot or shut that cum dumpster because I’m tired of listening to your mouth.

~Who’Re smacks TIO across the face. She’s livid. Before TIO can respond diVersity rush in, they nab TIO, subduing him to the concrete runway~

Who’Re: Take him to the police! Now!

~TIO is puzzled. “The police?”~

The Incredible One: You’re crazy, woman! You’re losing control...this job is too big for you!

~Who’Re turns and marches away while diVersity drag TIO away. We cut to commercial~

---

---

~Video rolls that was shot earlier in the week. How do we know that? Because they put “Earlier In The Week” at the bottom of the screen, which should have been obvious to anyone watching. Anything else we need to explain to you? Good. Let’s move on. The shot focuses on Thaddeus Duke, as he’s making his way out of the Woolworth Tower. He looks around for a moment, focusing on the limousine that’s waiting a little farther down the street. Duke heads that way, not bothering to knock before he pulls the door open. Inside, two men turn in their seats to face him: Jonathan “Pryde” Barrows and the OCW Craze Champion, Peter “The Janitor” Vaughn. Barrows smiles at Duke, gesturing to him to come inside.~

Jonathan Barrows: Good afternoon, Mr. Duke. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with us.

Thaddeus Duke: Just Thad, man. No need for such formalities. And its no problem, really. Let’s just get on with it.

~All three men stay in the limo, with the camera finding a way to continue shooting, as if the camera was passed through a window.~

Peter Vaughn: I’ll get right down to it, Thad. My mentor here has heard through the grapevine that Ed Houston and Mike Zybala are going to be working together at House of Cards. Knowing Zybala’s scheming ways, Houston won’t be the only wrestler he tries to make a deal with. As much as I respect your fighting skills, I think even you would have a difficult time in a 3-on-1 or 4-on-1 fight during your debut in OCW.

Thaddeus Duke: I’ve faced worse odds and won. I’ve faced worse odds and lost. I don’t need help to beat Ed Houston, but I’m listening.

Peter Vaughn: Houston’s a fool to trust Zybala, but since his match is first, Zybala probably will try to help him win. That’s why it’d be good for you to have an ally, someone who will watch your back and keep Zybala’s scum-ridden hands off of you. I’m offering that help. I’m not saying I’d help you win…

Jonathan Barrows: That’s obviously not something you need help with, as you said…

Peter Vaughn: But I can be there to keep others out of your way to victory, as long as you’re there to watch my own back when I face Zybala in the next match. We can make Houston & Zybala pay dearly for deciding to ally against us. What do you say?

~Vaughn waits, as Duke considers his response. Thad then extends his hand to Vaughn and Peter accepts.

Thaddeus Duke: I’ll take the deal. I’ll scratch your back, Pete. I don’t know you…

~Vaughn attempts to retrieve his hand from Thad, but Thad keeps it.

Thaddeus Duke: And you don’t really know me. Betray me and you’re gonna have problems. Interfere without it being needed, and you’re gonna have problems. I’m a man of my word, Pete. My word and my hand are my bond. For your sake, I hope you’re that guy too.

~Letting go of his grip on Vaughn’s hand, Thad sets his attention on Barrows.

Thaddeus Duke: Mr. Barrows…

~The two men shake hands as Thad throws open the door and steps out onto the sidewalk.

Thaddeus Duke: Gentlemen… it was a pleasure doin’ business with you.

~He departs, shutting the door behind him. Vaughn and Barrows share a look, with Barrows looking pleased, while Vaughn is trying to hide his emotions.~

Jonathan Barrows: Don’t worry, Peter. This was a success. Trust me, knowing Zybala’s penchant for getting himself in trouble, he’ll give us the opening we’ll need to ‘protect’ Thad. Everything is coming together beautifully. Now, let’s talk about your planned meeting with Xavier…

~Vaughn nods, as the limo begins to drive off. The picture slowly fades out. We cut back to Cheasy inside the OCW studio~

Cheasy M: Deals and alliances continue to be made with House of Cards less than two weeks away! Peter Vaughn seeking insurance, knowing Mike Zybala has done and will do the same. But, can he trust Thaddeus Duke? Duke is the 'new kid on the block', so to say. A total wildcard. We're going to find out alot about Mr. Duke during the course of the event...no doubt.

~Cheasy spins, chasing a camera cut~

Cheasy M: And, speaking of getting to know the talent...it's that time of the week again...that's right, let's drag Leo in here for some Promo Reviews!

~Cheasy slaps his hands to a beat against the desk as our view widens to show LEO. He looks about like normal...maybe a little sadder than usual~

Cheasy M: Welcome back, Leo! What’s up? You look kinda down.

Leo the High School Intern: It’s nothing. Guess I should just keep driving next time I see a truck turned over on the side of the road.

Cheasy M: Haha, or, ya know, maybe not stream the news out to the ENTIRE WORLD. All eyes are watching, Leo. This is why you’re still an intern, my man. Anyway...let’s get down to business...what you got for us, promo wise for this week?

Leo the High School Intern: Right. Okay so we’ll begin with Outcast. The search for what happened to his ex-wife led him to some guy named Pete. Pete’s a bad guy...all mixed up into drugs, meth...crime life, ya know?

Cheasy M: Boy, don’t I know...nah, I really don’t. Just sayin. Continue!

Leo the High School Intern: So, Outcast interrogates this man only to find out his search needs to head in a different direction. Toward a man named Anderson Blake. Outcast heads in that direction and this ‘Pete’ guy winds up ‘hanging’ himself.

Cheasy M: Oh my

Leo the High School Intern: Yes. But Outcast remains focused on Dylan Thomas. He views Dylan’s relationship with Lissandra as a business deal...Lissandra latching onto Dylan for the fame and fortune. He thinks Dylan envies the respect fans have for Outcast and the career he’s put together. All in all...Outcast isn’t a big fan of Dylan.

Cheasy M: Doesn’t sound like it...now what’s going on with Dylan Thomas?

Leo the High School Intern: The Thomas’ made their way to Italy to view the Coliseum. While there, Dylan suffered some kind of heat stroke, passing out and having a very lucid dream about competing in the Coliseum with Lord Allton...known as Emperor Alltinious, I believe, looking down and watching.

Cheasy M: Heat stroke?! Is he okay?

Leo the High School Intern: Yea, he’s fine. It was minor. Stroke might not be the right word. Anyway, his knee seems to be just about at 100% so he’s ready to go, from an in-ring perspective. And, I don’t know, maybe that light ‘heat stroke’ stirred something up because in his last promo he was helping to feed the homeless.

Cheasy M: Sure doesn’t sound like the Dylan Thomas I know.

Leo the High School Intern: Yea, well when you travel the world and experience the things he’s experienced...sometimes it provides an alternative perspective. On life, anyway. It didn’t change how he feels about Outcast...he’s determined to put an end to Outcast and become the longest reigning Paradigm Champion in OCW history. Dylan knows he’s pampered...but he also knows how to fight.

Cheasy M: Well we all certainly saw that last month at Quarantined. Okay, so what’s going on with Zany Zybala?

Leo the High School Intern: Unless your definition of zany is fire and genocide then I’d say Zybala was a little out of character this week. He returned to Exile Island and torched the place...ridding himself of all the people and primates who failed to help him when he needed them the most. A solid allegory for where things stand between him and Vaughn.

Cheasy M: He’s not gonna try and burn Vaughn at the stake a week from Sunday, is he?

Leo the High School Intern: He may. Zybala is a very focused wrestler, right now. Nobody is more acutely aware of the fact he hasn’t won a title OR a PPV match in 4 years since signing with the company. It’s a streak he’s eager to break. And I think he’d love nothing more than breaking it by superkicking Peter Vaughn into next year.

Cheasy M: He’s definitely the best wrestler in OCW history to never capture a title...that much, I can say. So, what’s going on with Vaughn? Is he ready for this NEW Zybala?

Leo the High School Intern: You’ll be happy to hear that Vaughn didn’t assault anybody this week.

Cheasy M: Whew. Alright...way to stay peaceful, Pete!

Leo the High School Intern: He merely visited a graveyard and demolished a headstone with a sledgehammer.

Cheasy M: He did WHAT

Leo the High School Intern: The Revenge Tour for Peter Vaughn continues. He’s eradicating the past...at least, the bits of the past he feels he let get the better of him. He’s moving ahead toward a new future where he’s in complete and total charge. And, I can’t help but feel the last man on this revenge list is...Mike Zybala.

Cheasy M: Wow. These two really aren’t holding anything back, are they?

Leo the High School Intern: I know we’ve got a little over a week until House of Cards...but I think I feel safe in saying...this will be the match of the night.

Cheasy M: Let’s turn to someone who isn’t beaten down and angered by life and shortcomings...what’s going on with OCW’s prized recruit...how’s Thaddeus Duke doing?

Leo the High School Intern: I mean, he’s doing great. The man has money and he’s used it to provide a cushy, opulent life. He’s also used it as leverage during contract negotiations. It’s hard to pressure someone into signing a contract when their home is grander in scale to just about anything you’ve ever seen.

Cheasy M: So he’s putting the squeeze on ole Who’Re?

Leo the High School Intern: Not really. He just knows what he’s worth and he’s not in any rush to spread his brand out without the deal making sense. Who’Re really, really wanted to secure Duke so she conceded to the contract he drew up and...here we are.

Cheasy M: Do you think it sets a bad tone for future recruits?

Leo the High School Intern: Nah...Duke is a megastar. Things are handled differently with wrestlers as popular as Thaddeus Duke. Now that he’s signed...he’s focused on improving OCW’s image and rebuilding the once great brand...and it begins at House of Cards against Ed Houston.

Cheasy M: What’s this about Ian Dream?

Leo the High School Intern: Apparently, in Duke’s contract it states that OCW must make Ian Dream part of the roster. So...I’m sure we’ll see Ian Dream at House of Cards. Ian Dream, like Duke, is the son of a pro wrestling legend.

Cheasy M: Very exciting...and Ed...what does he think about all of this?

Leo the High School Intern: He thinks Thaddeus is overlooking him...underselling how dangerous and competitive and popular OCW is. Houston, if you ask me, is very confident in the fact that he’s going to ‘upset’ Thaddeus Duke and welcome him to the world of OCW.

Cheasy M: He ever win that NASA tour?

Leo the High School Intern: Still working on it. Last I saw he had opened up a booth and was signing autographs for twenty dollars a-piece.

Cheasy M: That’s gonna take a lot of autographs. And, finally, let’s get to the main event...the OCW Championship match...we’ll lead off with the challenger, BRIM. What’s he up to?

Leo the High School Intern: BRIM’s been watching footage of Lux’s victory over Outcast, Warstein, Granger, and others during one of GCWA’s last shows. With Byson off in the DMZ...it’s given BRIM some free time to expand his mental repertoire heading into the biggest match of his career.

Cheasy M: He still down in that bunker?

Leo the High School Intern: Yep. A couple of young adults joined him...one boy, one girl. The girl seemed to be way more interested in what BRIM Was doing than the boy. To be honest, I think she kinda had a thing for the Savage Champion...fingers crossed she’s 18.

Cheasy M: You’re telling me! And what about Xavier Lux? Is he still chasing ninjas?

Leo the High School Intern: Actually, yes. You see, since Quarantined, he’s come to realize he’s got fists of steel...or a fist of steel. I’m not sure if it applies to both. Anyway, he used this mighty fist to bash in the window of the car he’s chasing...sending it flying off the road. The man behind the wheel shot through the windshield where Lux found him, injured...but alive.

Cheasy M: Oh man.

Leo the High School Intern: Lux pushed the man for answers and, boy, did he get some. It appears the man was sent by ENIGMA.

Cheasy M: Former OCW LightWeight Champion Enigma?

Leo the High School Intern: That’s the one. Lux believed Enigma to be dead...so he gave Paco a call and, well, turns out Enigma is very much alive. So, Lux is headed in that direction, believing that Enigma can finally give him the details on where and how to find his father.

Cheasy M: The OCW Champion certainly has a lot on his mind heading into House of Cards.

Leo the High School Intern: Yep, but like his father and the rest of the Sins from yesteryear, Xavier Lux has not lost his focus on what lies ahead. I have no doubt he’ll be ready when the time comes to defend his title against BRIM...a match that should be an absolute war.

Cheasy M: Sounds great...well, Leo...I hate to say it, but our time is up.

Leo the High School Intern: You don’t hate saying that.

Cheasy M: You’re right, I don’t. Catch ya later, kid.

~Leo is instantly cropped from the shot~

Cheasy M: Let’s cut to commercial...when we return a special announcement from Grace Rimmer regarding House of Cards!

~We cut to commercial~

~Scene opens up in a bar, your OCW World Champion Xavier Lux is sitting at the bar doing shots it seems as he admires the poker photo he kept from last week’s promo in his right hand. He takes one more shot with his left hand and then asks the bartender for a lighter. He gives him one and then Xavier takes it and flicks it on. He acts as if he’s going to burn the picture but then puts out the flame. He flicks the lighter back on and goes to burn the photo but then flicks it off again. The bartender notices this and interrupts.~

Bartender: He’s handsome. Old ‘flame’ of yours?

Xavier Lux: Dude what? Fuck no! Come on!

Bartender: Woah easy tiger, no judging here. Just seems like you can’t decide whether or not to burn that photo and well if you can’t bring yourself to do it, that means there are feelings there still.

Xavier Lux: Look man, first of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, mind your goddamn business nosy motherfucker. Third, get me another round of shots, Cien Anhos Tequila.

~The bartender scoffs and walks away pissed off. Xavier goes back to deciding what to do with the pic when someone comes up to him holding two beers. ~

Man: Is the enemy of my enemy really my friend?

~Xavier turns around and his attitude changes once he sees who it is.~

Xavier Lux: Peter “Kill’em All” Vaughn… glad you came and bearing gifts I see. I didn’t know you drank.

Peter Vaughn: I don’t actually, both of these are for you. I do have a beer at my table. It’s just a… root beer. How about we go have a little chat?

Xavier Lux: Lead the way…

~The two walk over to Vaughn’s table, with Vaughn sitting down where his glass was waiting.~

Peter Vaughn: Did the flower arrangement get delivered correctly?

Xavier Lux: Yes, thank you for those. Do you know that is the first time someone has actually cared enough to do something for my Mom? Everyone else is all about ‘him’, but no one has even cared to ask: “hey Xavier, how is your Mom by the way?” I bet you most are just finding out that she’s dead, and when she passed, no one gave a damn. But to this day, the whole world wants to know if “he” is alive or dead, I mean I want to find out to but because I have to, fuck them, it’s really none of their business.

~He gulps down one of the beers Peter gave him. ~

Xavier Lux: I’m sorry man, didn’t mean to go off on a rant there. Look, I know you are having your issues, you are a bit unstable and got a lot going on but your gesture means the world to me Peter. I am telling you right now, you can 100% trust me and whatever you need from me at the pay per view, you got it. No bullshit.

~ Vaughn nods, taking a good-sized gulp from his own root beer.~

Peter Vaughn: I'll show that you can trust me, too. We just need to make our plans... privately.

~Vaughn turns, apparently glaring at the cameraman. Lux, too, turns his way. With both men 'breaking the fourth wall', the cameraman stumbles back, a little frightened.~

Peter Vaughn: Beat it.

Xavier Lux: Walk away. Now.

~The camera shakes for a moment, before the view turns away from the two wrestlers. We seem to be heading for the door as the picture is cut out.~

---

---

~Mack sits at the same dimly lit bar as he always does. He sips a beer, staring blankly at the TVs hanging behind the bar. After a moment, a man comes and sits next to him. This man, as always, wears a white suit with a black undershirt. Straight out of the 80s. Ladies and gentlemen, Gregory Poblano.~

Poblano: So, I take it you're taking the next couple weeks off, yeah? Just gonna hang out with your house sitter and your dog?

~Mack slowly moves his eyes to glare at Poblano~

Mack: What the fuck do you know about my house sitter or my dog?

Poblano: It's my job to know, Mr. O'Connor. It's my job.

Mack: Do you even have a real job?

Poblano: Depends on your definition of job. How do you define a job, Mr. O'Connor?"

~Mack sips his beer, trying to ignore him. This does very little to dissuade Poblano~

Poblano: Does a job define a man? Is a job solely to provide sustenance for a man? Does the job inform who the man is to become? Does the labor required for the job proof a man's worth?

Mack: Yo, just shut the fuck up. Seriously.

Poblano: Do I make you uncomfortable?

~Mack eyes the chest hair thrusting out of the top of Poblano's shirt. He looks away immediately~

Mack: Yes. You are very uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable.

Poblano: Never took you for a sissy, Mr. O'Connor.

~Poblano slaps the bar.~

Poblano: Let me get a Mexican Tea Party.

~The bartender nods, moving away to make the drink. Mack looks up in confusion~

Mack: The fuck is that?

~Poblano shrugs~

Poblano: I just made it up. Just curious to see what they bring me.

Mack: Whatever.

Poblano: You never answered my question... You taking time off? Or will you be at House of Cards?

Mack: Oh, I'll be there.

Poblano: Really? You're not even booked.

Mack: I got some unfinished business.

~Mack downs the rest of his beer, throws some cash on the bar, and walks out. Poblano chuckles to himself, letting out a sigh. He looks down at the cash on the bar, grabbing it and shoving it into his coat pocket. The bartender comes by, noticing that Mack is no longer present and that the tab is technically not paid. Poblano shrugs~

Poblano: He just took off. No idea whats wrong with him.

~We cut to the OCW Studio and Cheasy M~

Cheasy M: Mack O'Connor WILL be at House of Cards, folks! In what capacity...hmm, I think I might have an answer...TransAtlantic Title, maybe?

~Camera cut. Cheasy swivels around to adjust~

Cheasy M: And what's going on with the TransAtlantic Title, anyway? I’m being told Grace Rimmer is standing by with a couple of HUGE announcements regarding House of Cards. Typically, GM Who’Re would be the one delivering this news but...as you saw at the beginning of the broadcast...other things are on her mind. Anyway, let’s shoot it to Grace!

~We cut to a shot in the GM’s office. Grace stands behind Who’Re’s desk. Out of respect, she refuses to sit. Instead, she leans over the desk, sorting through some papers. She finally looks up with those wide, vapid eyes and smiles~

Grace Rimmer: Hey everyone, Grace Rimmer here with some big news regarding the lineup at House of Cards.

~She snares a photo of Harold Jones~

Grace Rimmer: If you’re laughing, I don’t blame you. Harold Jones is a joke. He’s been running his mouth on Twitter all month about facing Kevin Spacey at House of Cards. Something we’d never give a second thought...HOWEVER, interest is there. And, since your amazing GM is willing to go all out for you fans...she’s allowing Harold Jones a one night only pass to enter the ring and issue his challenge to Mr. Spacey. Kevin, if you’re up for it, you’re more than welcome to show up and answer the call.

~Grace, along with eveyrone else, has no faith that Spacey will show...but, whatever, this is strictly FOR THE PEOPLE. She then points to a framed photo behind Who’Re’s desk. It shows Vhodka Marie triumphantly hoisting the TransAtlantic Title from her shocking win at Quarantined one month ago~

Grace Rimmer: Did you think we forgot about Vhodka? Of course we didn’t! She’s the proud holder of the OCW TransAtlantic Championship...and, as with ANY OCW title, the champion MUST defend the belt at an OCW PPV event OR they will be stripped. So, Vhodka Marie has signed on to compete at House of Cards issuing an open challenge to any competitor eager to get into the ring and mix it up.

~Grace smiles. Open challenges are VERY exciting~

Grace Rimmer: So, anybody out there looking to get into an OCW ring...you don’t need a contract. You don’t need prior experience...just show up, be the first to answer and you’ll have your shot at facing and dethroning Vhodka Marie as TransAtlantic Champion!

~Grace folds her arms under her ridiculously huge chest. She smiles, feeling very important~

Grace Rimmer: So, there you have it...two bonus matches...kinda...for House of Cards! We’re nearly ONE WEEK away from the big event! Make sure you order today so you’re not left out...this is an event that will have the entire wrestling world talking...I can guarantee that!

~We cut back to Cheasy~

Cheasy M: Whoa! Harold Jones versus Kevin Spacey...maybe? And Vhodka Marie defending her TransAtlantic Championship? Did House of Cards just get better? I think it did! Man, Sunday, July 25th is going to be freakin amazing! I can’t wait!

~Cheasy settles down a bit~

Cheasy M: Alright, we’re gonna cut to one more commercial break...and, when we return...an updated look at the rankings! Stick around...we’ll be right back!

~We cut to commercial~

---

~We cut to a local police station in Key West. Members of diVersity, led by GREG, drag TIO inside and force him to sit on a chair. Annoyed, TIO looks up and spots a TV airing tonight’s episode of Piledriver. His eyes narrow as he watches with the type of intensity that can only be found within the soul of a wrestling legend. Greg is busy talking to the police officers~

Officer: Excuse me? You want to do what?

Greg: Book this man, he’s a terrorist!

Officer: A terrorist?

~The officer looks at TIO...he does a bit of racial profiling before responding~

Officer: He doesn’t LOOK like a terrorist.

Greg: Well, trust me, he is!

Officer: Tell me what he did, exactly.

~Greg explains the situation to the police officer. TIO watches Grace Rimmer announce that Harold Jones, Vodka Marie, and KEVIN FUCKING SPACEY have all been invited to compete at House of Cards. The veins in his neck bulge. His biceps flex. The skinny link connecting the cuffs that are around his wrists is having its resistance tested. All members of diVersity are backing Greg up~

Greg: So? Are you gonna book him or not?

Officer: Uhh, not. We can’t arrest some guy just because he interfered in a wrestling match. Get out of here and quit wasting our time.

~The officer leaves. Greg is speechless. He’s appalled. He turns around, hands on his hips~

Greg: Well, that’s just...I swear...I’ve never…

~He pauses. His facial expression drops. We cut to an empty chair. The door to the precinct shuts. TIO is gone~

Greg: Geezus Malone. FIND HIM! FIND HIM NOW!

~Greg and diVersity scramble out of the precinct in a mad dash to find and subdue The Incredible One~

---

---

~Jones appears after a goofy commercial, probably for some disgusting Blu Cheese chips or some Jalapeno gimmick. But Jones sits in his OCW headquarters office, which kind of looks like a seventeen-year-old marks bedroom, minus the bed held up by crusty socks~

Jones: I was scheduled to have a phone interview with Outcast, since he is out of town but unfortunately, he has not called in yet. So, like any guy who is tired of waiting on them to call you, I’ll call them.

~Jones tries make a facetime call from his computer. While dialing he quickly looks down to make sure he put pants on. Since the studio cameras are there, and he normally only needs a shirt for a phone interview. The phone continues to ring without an answer~

Jones: Oh, I hope he didn’t give me a fake number like that girl at the bar did. Jokes on her I won tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters when she gave me the radio station number.

~The phone finally answers, but it isn’t Outcast. Instead it is a large, bald man, with a tattooed face~

Jones: Uh, hello is Outcast there?

Bald Guy: WHO!?!

Jones: Um, Outcast, Christian Cain

Bald Guy: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!

Jones: I’m

Bald Guy: Hang on.

~The Bald Guy turns his head, and a voice can be heard in the background but is too muffled to tell who it is. Finally we hear the bald guy say, “ok”, before looking back at the camera~

Bald Guy: He ain’t f**ken here.

Jones: Um, we were scheduled to…

Bald Guy: Gotta go.

~The screen cuts off as the bald guy hangs up. Jones looks a bit baffled~

Jones: Huh. Well, I apologize folks, unfortunately we were unable to reach Outcast for our interview. BUT, rest assured he will be at House of Cards along with all the other great OCW superstars.

~We cut back to the OCW Studio and Cheasy M~

Cheasy M: Strange. I'm no Sherlock Holmes...nor do I proclaim to be a Dr. Watson...but my guess is Outcast saw that add for Superkicks...the Mike Zybala Bleu Cheese flavored chips and lost his appetite for appearing on Piledriver.

~Cheasy shrugs. The camera cuts...he swivels. It's RANKINGS TIME~

Singles
Rank	Wrestler	Points	Latest Result
OCW	Xavier Lux	19.50	1st Prison Yard
1	Dylan Thomas	18.00	5th Prison Yard
2	Peter Vaughn	16.50	4th Prison Yard
3	Mike Zybala	14.75	7th Prison Yard
4	Brim	13.00	2nd Prison Yard
4	Outcast	13.00	3rd Prison Yard
5	Thaddeus Duke	9.25	TBD
6	Ed Houston	8.75	6th Prison Yard

Cheasy M: Alright...and there they are! Xavier Lux remains in the top spot. Dylan Thomas made up SOME ground this week...Vaughn did, as well. Mike Zybala hanging right in there...which rounds out the top four.

~Cheasy turns his focus toward the bottom four~

Cheasy M: Brim with a big move this week to tie Outcast. And, once again, Thaddeus Duke eats up a TON of ground, surpassing Ed Houston. Is this symbolic for what's to come at House of Cards? We'll have to wait and see.

~Cheasy turns...the camera cuts. The Standings graphic goes away~

Cheasy M: And there you have it...the updated Standings as we head into the final week for House of Cards...speaking of which...let's take a look at the lineup for next Sunday's star studded event!

---

OCW Presents: House of Cards
LIVE! Sunday, July 25th, 2021
Location: OCW Arena

OCW Championship
No Disqualification Match
Xavier Lux (c) vs. Brim (c)

Paradigm Championship
Ladder Match
Outcast (c) vs. Dylan Thomas

Craze Championship
Hazardous Ladder Match
Peter Vaughn (c) vs. Mike Zybala

Contenders Match
Caged Ladder Match
Ed Houston vs. Thaddeus Duke

TransAtlantic Championship
Open Challenge
Vhodka Black (c) vs. ???

Joker's Challenge
Will Kevin Spacey Accept?
Harold 'Headliner' Jones vs. Kevin Spacey

---

Cheasy M: Wow! What a lineup! A few mysterious matches to start things off...will Spacey show up? Who is going to step up and challenge Vhodka Black? And, whoever it is, can they beat Mack O'Connor to the punch? What about The Incredible One...he's on the loose...could he look to fill the open challenge spot? OR is it someone we've yet to mention? Can't wait to find out!

~Cheasy shakes his head as if to say 'wow so much intrigue' before continuing~

Cheasy M: And as if that appetizer wasn't enough...the main course is simply out of this world (sorry, Ed). Four marquee matches featuring wrestlers talented enough to headline any card in any promotion in any part of the world. Add in the concept...treachery, alliance, betrayal, trust...no telling WHAT could go down.

~Cheasy can barely contain his excitement! A very strong company man~

Cheasy M: House of Cards is TEN days away! PPV week is nearly upon us! Make sure you get this thing ordered because, I can guarantee all of you...you will not want to miss this event.

~A new graphic airs~

---

Cheasy M: And the Margarita Mix is BACK as announced by CFO Tony Savage earlier in the broadcast! A lethal lottery tournament...which means you get randomly paired with another entrant...the winning team will compete for the OCW Tag Team Titles.

~Cheasy shakes his head...still under the weather in regards to the OCW Tag Title situation~

Cheasy M: Which could, very well mean a match against Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon.

~He perks up~

Cheasy M: Sign ups for the Margarita Mix will begin shortly, I'm told. Full details to be released in the coming days. This event is for non-contracted talent only. And, by signing up, you do NOT agree to a contract...you're merely committing to the tournament.

~The Mix graphic vanishes. The lights begin to dim as the exit theme starts to play~

Cheasy M: And that's it for me...we have ONE Piledriver left before House of Cards! Six promos left to air this week before we shut it down and get ready to see what happens on Sunday, July 25th. It's all coming to a head, OCW fans...ten short days away. Buckle up...the next week and a half should be amazing.

~Cheasy nods his head to the groovy, stock beat~

Cheasy M: And that's it for me! Until next time...keep it cheasy, everyone!

~We fade out~