Wednesday, December 29th, 2021
Taped from the OCW Studio
~The badass Daft Punk remix of Da Funk/Daftendirekt from their Alive 2007 tour blasts throughout the OCW Arena. Fans move around, feeling very technologically groovy...such vibes! Such sensations! Such happiness! It’s OCW Television and it’s back, baby~
Yes, it’s back.
Back again.
You guys ready to get Bootytickled?
No? Fuckin Lame-O’s. Who doesn’t like a good booty tickling, right?
Whatever.
The new year is upon us.
The shit has been flushed out of OCW’s system.
The WEAK ASS PUZZIES fell away due to a severe lack of self respect. They now compete in shit hole promotions with weak ass owners and rosters full of individuals in dire need of help.
Help we won’t give.
Why? Because fuck em.
Anyway...this is Piledriver. It’s the last show of 2021...and, pretty kinda sorta the FIRST show of 2022. OCW has a YUGE year planned for that fresh calendar nestled atop your desk...so fresh. No ink markings. No love stains. No random figure eights or smiley faces. A brand new page...possibilities abound.
It’s gonna be a fan-fucking-tastic year you psychos. So, lets get it started.
~We cut to the OCW Studio. Cheasy M is tapping his pencil against the desk in rhythm with the beat. He’s biting down on his bottom lip with his eyes shut, head bobbing around...guy’s really into the new theme~
Uh, Cheasy. We’re live.
~Cheasy looks up. He smiles, flashing THEM PEARLY WHITES~
Cheasy M: Oh, hey there! Cheasy M is back inside the recreated OCW Studio. If you’ll remember...the last Piledriver set was destroyed by Dylan Thomas and Carlos the Custodian.
~We cut to Carlos, he stands in a closet holding his dick because he’s worried if he lets go it might fall off~
Carlos the Custodian: One day I will be taken seriously.
~We cut back to Cheasy~
Cheasy M: Yea, sure Carlos. Sure.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: A new and improved set. The same ole Piledriver...well, not exactly. You see, what we’re going to do moving forward is bring to you the very best from the past week. The OCW Arena is open 24/7 and all kinds of action is taking place every minute of every day.
~The camera cuts Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Interviews. Segments. Vignettes. Matches. Impromptu knife fights. You name it, it’s happening.
~Somewhere Ron Paul is doing the ‘IT’S HAPPENING’ hand motion~
Cheasy M: We’ve got returning legends. We’ve got rising stars. We’ve got established vets. And, we’ve got names eager to break through and become future OCW icons. OCW’s got it all...rumors of our demise have been greatly exaggerated by a community with the collective IQ of an inner city speed limit.
~We hear Leo let out an ‘oooooohhhh’. Nobody else does...Leo pauses, looks around, clears his throat and returns to a somewhat professional looking disposition~
Cheasy M: I could sit here and tell you how awesome we are...I mean, I really could. BUT, we’ve got some shit that needs to get aired so let’s do that. And, we’ll kick things off with...Curt Canon and Chad Vargas!
Cheasy M: Back at Death March, Vargas and Canon kicked the show off with an ‘exhibition’ match. A friendly contest between two Hall of Famers to get the crowd fired up for the show. Well…
~Cheasy sighs~
Cheasy M: That didn’t really go as planned. It started with Vargas shutting down the local vocal yokel who was singing something called ‘The Canadian National Anthem’...yea, never heard of it either, but I’m told it’s very popular in the northern portion of this continent. Anyway, Vargas shut it down and began singing The World’s Anthem...which begins something like “Oh say can you see by the dawn’s early light”
Cheasy M: This of course enraged the locals as one of their own had been pushed aside and embarrassed by Vargas. Plus, I think rumors that The Confederate Icon is anti-vaccine had spread, not unlike a virus, through the crowd...enhancing the anathema they were feeling toward the man. So, cue Curt Canon. OCW’s most popular star in the history of right now for the purpose of this segment rushed to the ring to confront Vargas.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: The crowd popped and the exhibition was on. Vargas was overly aggressive at the start...an act Curt didn’t seem to appreciate. So, Curt caught Vargas with a low blow and rolled him up for the three count. An act Vargas REALLY didn’t enjoy. This led to the two men having to be pulled apart and separated by OCW security.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: So, what does this all mean, you ask? It means that an actual match has been signed pitting the two legends against one another at Access Denied. A match with the winner receiving an OCW Title Shot! The stakes have never been higher, folks...so, let’s take a look and see what Curt and Chad have been up to since the announcement!
~Cheasy stares into the camera~
Cheasy M: Well, what can I say...sometimes these veterans take a second to get going. I’m sure we’ll hear more from them the closer we get to Access Denied. Alright fans...how about a commercial break? Yea? Yea! We need to rake in that money, after all...so let’s cut to one of our primary advertisers.
~We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: And we’re back!
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Before we get into our next feud for Access Denied...let’s discuss one of OCW’s newest talents – Gideon Cross.
Cheasy M: Proud and Strong. That’s the OCW motto. If you don’t have the stomach to handle a little adversity. The spine to stand up to some pushback. The balls to be an individual...well, OCW isn’t for you. Get the slithering, gelatinous nerds outta here! And, I think we’ve accomplished that. However, OCW is always looking for the right fit...and, enter Gideon.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: He saw the backlash OCW received during THE GREAT PURGE. He was witness to the community’s attempt to run OCW out of business. He fully understood that joining the maligned promotion would mean backlash and abhorrence from THE COMMUNITY. However, he wanted in, anyway. This is a man of confidence. This is a man of conviction. This man is proud and strong. And, this man is OCW.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Gideon is already making an impact...he appeared on OCW TV yesterday issuing a challenge for Access Denied. Let’s take a look.
THE RAGE-QUITTER & THE BRAT PRINCE...
Cross Manor Estates, Cross' bedroom
Anaheim, California
We Open up inside Cross Manor estates, young Gideon Cross can be seen sitting on his bed, in his Batman pajama bottoms wearing a tank top as he slides his finger across the screen of his iPhone 13 Pro Max, as he does pops open his Twitter page and notices a certain someone, that individual being "Battled Tested" Dane Princeton having tweeted at him.
GIDEON CROSS
Cross says as he shows his personal butler Caledon Young a picture of Mr. Princeton, Caledon looks in through the doorway leading into Cross' bedroom.
CALEDON YOUNG
GIDEON CROSS
CALEDON YOUNG
Caledon questions with a bit of laughter.
GIDEON CROSS
CALEDON YOUNG
GIDEON CROSS
Cross says demanding his butler Caledon to make it happen.
CALEDON YOUNG
GIDEON CROSS
CALEDON YOUNG
Caledon says in a not so positive tone of voice as he continues to walk into the next room, continuing his daily chores.
~We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: I don’t know who ‘Battle Tested’ Dane Princeton is but he sounds TOTALLY LAME!!!! Ahaha...hope that comment didn’t booty tickle anyone...whatever that means.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: In all seriousness, Gideon Cross is wasting NO time in drawing some attention. I’m told he will open Access Denied against an opponent to be named later who is also probably named Dane Princeton. That match should be, at the very least, entertaining. Keep your eyes on Gideon Cross, folks. He’s set to have a great 2022.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: And now...from a rising newcomer to a couple of familiar names. We shift our focus to arguably the most intriguing match at Access Denied. Erin Gordon, returning to OCW, is set to face The Lost Stranger at Access Denied...the winner will receive a shot at the Craze or TransAtlantic Championship...whichever they prefer.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Erin Gordon was part of the epic OCW roster of 2019. She won Most Underrated in June 2019. Sadly, things never quite took off for Erin. But, I’m told she’s got her personal house in order and is as focused as she’s ever been. The talent is there. Gordon has as much ability as any wrestler in the sport today. It’s always been about focus and it sounds as though those issues have been alleviated. If Gordon is as focused as people are saying...we might see Erin main eventing OCW events sooner rather than later.
~The Camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: And that brings us to TLS. He’s an OCW veteran. He’s won several championships during his OCW career...most notably the OCW Ascension Championship back in 2015. But, he’s never won THE BIG ONE. TLS continues to chase that ever elusive OCW Title. Defeating Erin Gordon would go a long way in advancing toward that goal.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: TLS had a title opportunity at Death March BUT...he showed up late to the venue and was locked outside in the driving snow. He was then surrounded by moose. Despite being stuck in the snow, on stilts, TLS fought the moose off and ate them...showing that he’s as adaptable as ever. So, while he defeated nature, he failed in attaining in-ring glory. But, he’s got another shot...can he make good on this one at Access Denied? We’ll find out.
"Wha- the fuck, Caledon, Caledon can you come here, can you let the officials know I'd like to debut again this clown here!"
"You're positive you'd like to debut against that man there Gideon?"
"Yes, now make it happen Caledon..."
"You're positive?"
"Wha-, what is it Caledon?"
"Umm.. well isn't that the same individual who quit mid game when you had ran into him a few years ago during World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade, when you accidently kicked him with a critical hit as you had called it?"
"Yea... yea he did unfortunately, he just rage quit, but it didn't matter I still became champion, and that marked my 6th victory in the Burning Crusade, so yes I want to face him again!!!
"Umm.. Master Cross, you do realize he has a move called Bootytickled, right?"
"Yea... yea... whatever..."
"Oh... okay Master Cross if you say so sir I'll notify the higher ups for you about this request of yours..."
Cheasy M: It’s Erin Gordon against TLS. A match that would headline every promotion in existence. What have these two been up to since the Christmas Party, you ask? Well, let’s check out a few clips of their interactions!
~TLS is shown standing in the parking lot of the OCW arena next to a trash can. He brings out a lighter and flicks it on. He then pulls out a number 50 Denver Nuggets jersey.’~
TLS: this is going to be a slam dunk. I'm going to watch you burn.
~TLS sets the jersey on fire and stands there motionless~
The scene opens on the Oncoming Storm watching the video that was just released by her opponent at Access Denied. A brow raises at the attempt at symbolism that... well?
"What's he tryin' to accomplish? I ain't from Denver, the number 50 don't mean shit to me, I don't give a damn 'bout hockey, and I ain't scared of fire."
A pause; Erin tilts her head faintly to one side.
"...wonder how much he wasted on that jersey."
Fade.
The fire is still burning in the trash can as TLS pulls out a wad of $100 bills. He tosses a bill into the fire one by one. TLS thinks to himself-
TLS- Erin Gordon is a lady in the efed twitterverse. I wonder if this will make her like like me.
...cut back to Erin Gordon, who still looks decidedly unimpressed.
Hell, she's so unimpressed that she's not even paying TLS' antics any mind. Instead?
"...what kinda' urn'd be small enough to not be overkill for these ashes?"
Fade.
~We return to Cheasy inside the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: TLS purchasing a pricey looking Aaron Gordon jersey and burning it as symbolism for what he plans to do to Erin Gordon at Access Denied. I’m not sure how the state of Colorado is going to feel about that but considering THE WEED is legal there, they’ll probably be relatively chill about the entire thing.
~Cheasy contemplates moving to Colorado~
Cheasy M: Erin, meanwhile, remains unimpressed by the antics. She’s seen it all before. It seems as though things are starting to heat up between TLS and Erin Gordon...PUN TOTALLY INTENDED. TLS has always possessed an enigmatic mind, often confusing opponents with his strange antics. Erin will need to remain focused on what she does best if she has any hope to stay the course and defeat the OCW mainstay. This match, folks, should be a doozy!
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Will Erin burn TLS and put the ashes of his title aspirations inside a tiny urn or will TLS get inside Erin’s head and defeat the off balanced competitor? We’ll find out! But, for now...TIME FOR SOME MORE COMMERCIALS
~We return to the Piledriver Studio. Cheasy M is playing with a couple of action figures. One is Mike Zybala...as evidenced by the wild ‘SUPERKICK ACTION’ the figure springs into whenever Bleu Cheese comes near it. The other is BRIM...as evidenced by, well, you figure it out. Cheasy has Mike bent over under BRIM...he brings BRIM up and drops Mike’s head on his desk with a PILEDRIVER. He looks up and smiles~
Cheasy M: Welcome back to Piledriver, folks! And, yes, these OCW action figures are available wherever toys are sold these days. Probably Amazon. You can pick up the BRIM action figure for $19.99. And, the Zybala action figure is sold for the reasonable price of $3.99. So, if you’re forgetful, lazy, drunk, or all of the above and you forgot to get your kid something to place under the tree...go grab some of these!
~Cheasy shakes the action figures at the camera before tossing them over his shoulder~
Cheasy M: And how apropos that those were the two figures I just happened to find. Because we’re going to talk about their upcoming clash at Access Denied!
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M; That’s right...Mike Zybala and BRIM will go one on one at Access Denied with PLENTY on the line. Will BRIM drop Zybala on his head as we just simulated featuring those very life-like action figures? Or is Zybala ONE SUPER KICK AWAY from reclaiming his throne at the very tippy top of OCW? These are questions. That fact cannot be denied.
~Cheasy is right. Those certainly WERE questions~
Cheasy M: How did we get here? Simple. BRIM fought valiantly inside Sub Zero conditions for the Craze Title, coming up JUST short against Ed Houston. BRIM capped off a breakthrough 2021 by taking home three yearly awards. The man is focused and he’s eager to use 2022 as an opportunity to build on the foundation that was laid in 2021.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: As for Zybala...where do I begin? Where does ANYONE begin? Mike Zybala won Feud of the Year and Match of the Year based off the assertion that Bleu Cheese is better than Ranch...a notion that really pissed Outcast off...hence, feud and match of the year. Classic OCW, baby. He faced Outcast in an Icicle Death Match at Death March (ha!) and won the OCW Title.
~Record scratch~
Cheasy M: OR DID HE?? Seconds after reaching his ultimate in-ring triumph, Zybala’s moment of victory was stolen as OCW owner Gregory Poblano deemed the win inconsistent within the ‘rules’ of a match with the word ‘death’ in it. What was the inconsistency? Welsh tripping Outcast up, allowing Zybala the window to hit his famed SUPERKICK. So, the match resumed and Outcast hit Burnout, pinning Zybala and retaining his OCW title.
~Cheasy takes a sip of water before continuing~
Cheasy M: Welsh immediately declared a rematch would take place at Access Denied...only for his mic to get cut off and a graphic to air displaying Outcast taking on Maurako at the aforementioned event...as though it had been planned ahead of time. At that point, it was made very clear that no owner would ever, EVER let Zybala hold the OCW Title. Different owners, same result.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Save for one! The man himself! Turns out, Zybala has been working for months to figure out how he lost OCW to Poblano. The trail led him to his uglier, fatter, meaner, and significantly BALDER doppelganger known not-so-affectionately as Mike ZyBALDa. It appears ZyBALDa forged the sale, transferring title. So, this all lead to one inevitable outcome...A MATCH TO DECIDE IT ALL.
~Cheasy nods~
Cheasy M: That’s right, folks. Mike Zybala will compete at Access Denied to reclaim ownership of OCW. He wanted Poblano. But, since Poblano is not an idiot, he hired a mercenary...the most feared wrestler in OCW. He hired BRIM to compete in his place at Access Denied. If Zybala wins, he is the owner of OCW once again. If BRIM wins, he has been promised the Savage Title.
~Cheasy exhales and says ‘those are some pretty big steaks...36 ouncers, to be exact’~
Cheasy M: So, what’s been going on between these two since the Christmas Party? Well, let’s check in!
~We cut backstage to see Mike Zybala walking around holding something. He walks up to the door of BRIM and drops the object. It's a tombstone. GCWA fans will remember it being the one that Zybala has made for Duce Jones for their Buried Alive Graveyard match. "BRIM" has been spray painted over Duce's name. Zybala looks at it a bit before walking away~
~“Young Dolph’s song “Facts” can be heard blaring inside of BRIM’s living confines/locker room. BRIM watches footage of the OCW Championship Match between Outcast and Mike Zybala at Death March. Sitting comfortably on the teal couch with his feet kicked up, scrolling through a cell phone. Duce stands in front of a mirror, eye patch off, looking at the empty hole that once possessed his eyeball~
“Can’t believe dat muthafucka took my eye..”
“That was some crazy shit, huh bro?” ~Byson says without looking away from the phone~ “Practically ripped it from your skull. Hey, I know a guy if you want it surgically repaired.”
~Duce shakes his head in denial~
“Naw.. I’m good…” ~Duce rotates his left shoulder in a complete rotation~ “Last time I trusted one’a yo guys, they turned me inta Inspecta Gadget”
~Byson laughs~
“T’shit’s not funny, I ain’t been able t’see my babies like dis! I’d probably scare em half t’death.”
“How long has it been since you’ve seen your family?” ~BRIM asks~
“I dunno, maybe a year…? I’ve honestly lost track’a time..”
“Damn.. do you at least call them?”
“Yeah, I try ta stay in touch wit these burna phones dat we’ve been buyin’ but it’s nothin’ like seein’ their faces. Matta fact, B, lemme use dat phone real quick.”
“Hold up, I’m checking my stocks real fast.” ~Byson states~
“Now you know there ain’t no point in keepin’ up wit dat type’a shit. Tha money system gonna crash soon.”
“Well until then, I’m going to get these funds because staying in this locker room for days on end is not going to work.”
“Just gimme dat damn phone.” ~Duce closes out the app and continues to dial his children’s mother number~ “You must tryna stay somewhere like Exile Island?” ~Duce chuckles, walking towards the door on the locker room. Byson appears to be considering the idea~
“It has a freaking casino!”
~Looking back at Byson, Duce shakes his head, going to walk into the hallway. Someone picking up on the other end~
“Hey bab—”
~Duce trips over the tombstone, crashing hard into the ground. The cell phone goes flying from his grasps, smacking the concrete floor, the momentum sending it sliding further away from Jones. He lies there in pain~
“Fuck…”
~Byson and BRIM pop up at the door, looking down between Duce and the tombstone and putting two and two together~
“Damn, you good?”
~Gaining his bearings, Duce looks to the two and down to the tombstone. He sees his name crossed out by BRIM’s in spray paint~
“Ugh..”
~He doesn’t respond, simply gets to his feet and leave the two men standing there. We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: And the head games have begun...quite literally with a HEADSTONE being placed at BRIM’s door. A headstone Zybala created symobolizing the demise of his rival, Duce Jones. Duce just so happens to be a close friend...close enough to be considered family, to BRIM. So, now Mike is recycling, because he’s a very green man, that tombstone and putting it to use.
~Cheasy contemplates many things. So many things~
Cheasy M: But, is it wise to poke a man the size of a literal bear? Not to sell Duce short...but BRIM is a completely different man. Plus, BRIM has two eyes.
~It seems Cheasy immediately regrets this statement~
Cheasy M: Whatever the case may be, Zybala will look to use any tactic he can find to get an edge on BRIM. This match is, arguably, the most important of his career.
~Music starts to play~
Cheasy M: And with that...let’s head to ANOTHER COMMERCIAL
~We return to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: And we’re back! Wow, these commercials are great, aren’t they? I KNOW
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Kicking off the championship portion of Access Denied is TransAtlantic Champion, Veronica Strader. Strader, initially PURGED during THE GREAT PURGENING OF 2021, fought for her spot back. She would not be denied a chance to compete in OCW. And, by witnessing her determination...by witnessing she has more testicular power than the janitor and the venom COMBINED...Welsh had to give her a spot. She did not disappoint. In one night she went from purged to champion.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Some are calling her the chosen one. Welsh’s pride and joy...fire tested, battle born (AHAHA). That’s all fine and dandy. She can be called whatever by whomever. The fact remains she needs to earn it in the ring and she’ll get the opportunity take a giant step forward in that regard at Access Denied as she faces Dylan Thomas.
Cheasy M: Dylan Thomas emerged from THE PURGE as the OCW Craze Champion. His first defense was an unlucky one. Marcus Welsh saw fit to put Thomas in the harshest of conditions against three of the best talents this business has to offer. Thomas fought valiantly, but the freezing cold conditions got the better of him, forcing him abscond from the match and abdicate his Craze Championship.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Perhaps realizing the unfair situation he placed Thomas in at Death March, Marcus Welsh immediately thrust ‘Perfection Personified’ back into title contention. This time, at Access Denied on January 30th against Veronica Strader for the TransAtlantic Championship. Can Strader continue her ascension into the upper echelon of OCW OR will Dylan Thomas claim championship gold once again? We’ll find out in one month’s time!
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Now, let’s see what these two have been up to since the Christmas Party!
Veronica Strader’s Locker room
~Veronica has done a heck of a job remodelling the locker/dressing room that once belonged to former OCW Champion and traitor scum Peter Weiner Vaughn. A minibar is stocked with Canadian Whiskey, Crystal Head Vodka, and Terremana Gold Tequilla when you walk to your right. The bar has three barstools, one for Veronica, one for Roxxie and the last for The Head Mistress. To the left of the entrance, along the wall, is a 100 inch 8K Samsung television attached to the wall with a Nintendo Switch for Chuck, a Playstation 5 and Xbox Series X for entertainment and, of course, to watch top notch OCW original programming with a large black sectional couch. Along the main wall that’s straight ahead of the doorway are twenty-first-century-style hockey locker stalls for each lady with their ring gear hanging up neatly. On the floor in the centre is a mural very much like the one Mike Zybala painted in the main locker room. Of course, OCW didn’t float the bill for this luxury room; it was Veronica who used part of the inheritance Scott Nash Strader had left his granddaughters. Some might call her crazy for doing so, but Ronnie loved this company as much as Victoria did, and she was going to honour that. She sits in the corner section of the sectional couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching the footage of her throwing Cara Strader off the side of the building. Roxxie sits down the sectional with Vee’s feet on her lap, rubbing them.~
Roxxie G: You think your mom or sister will press charges?
Veronica: First off, not my mom and sister. Victoria’s? Yes. Mine? No. But to answer the last part… no, they won’t. The family doesn’t like law enforcement. It’s more likely John Strader shows up with bitch boys on Harley’s than cops being called.
~The Head Mistress walks into view, sitting down beside Vee. The Trans-Atlantic Champion puts her left arm around her, and Marcy snuggles in.~
Marcy: What did the boss have to say?
Veronica: Marcus? He patted my shoulder and told me I did the right thing disciplining someone sneaking into our home.
~Home. Not far off, Veronica hasn’t left the OCW Arena in weeks, outside of a brief appearance in Thunder Pro Wrestling.~
Marcy: Ready for Dylan Thomas?
Veronica: I am preparing. Hopefully, he doesn’t wear a silly costume; it gets pretty damn cold in Detroit in January.
Roxxie G: Plan on saying anything to the former Craze Champ?
~Veronica smiles widely; the women unsure if it’s something to do with Dylan or seeing Cara Strader damn near die as Vee rewinds to watch again.~
Veronica: Oh, I have. I gave a little poem for Chuck to deliver…
~We switch to Vee’s head of security, Chuck, who’s walking away from the locker room of Dylan Thomas. The door is closed, and a note is pinned there with a chef’s knife stabbed into it to hold it in place.~
Dylan and Lissandra Thomas make their way to the ring to huge cheers. Dylan is dressed in a nice black suit while Lissandra is dressed in a stunning white dress. Lissandra is carrying a microphone. The A-List couple climb into the ring and wait for the cheers to die down.
Lissandra: Hello, Key West! Hello OCW Faithful!
The crowd cheers!
Lissandra: Did everyone enjoy Monday Night Equality last night?
The crowd cheers again.
Lissandra: Is everyone ready for Christmas?
The crowd murmurs at this one.
Lissandra: Yeah, us neither….But we’re almost there! Dylan has something to say.
Dylan: I’m going to get straight to the point. Vee Strader!
Crowd: VEE! VEE! VEE!
Dylan and Lissandra nod along in agreement.
Dylan: Vee is a phenomenal talent, I’m not taking anything away from your Trans-Atlantic champion. But Vee…are we in a wrestling company or second grade English class? The poem was cute… very well written but if that was your idea of trying to get under my skin…well I think we both know you can do better than that. You walk around with a Chuckie doll for crying out loud.
Lissandra: Not that we can talk.
Dylan: Well, no. Exactly.
Crowd: PENNYLORD! PENNYLORD! PENNYLORD!
Lissandra: I never thought I would hear that one.
Dylan: I’m not just a pretty face, Veronica. I wasn’t always the people loving man, as I am today. It took A LOT of work to get Face of the Year. Let me tell you that. I made my living in OCW’s sister company GCWA for a long time and over there, there was a mad man known only as Xtreme - yep without an E at the beginning…I broke his ankle in my debut match there, and broke it six months later just for fun. I say, if you wanna play games then let’s ramp up the games. But at Access Denied when I become the new Trans-Atlantic champion, there will be no games to play….
~Dylan and Lissandra then exit the ring and begin to head backstage. We cut back to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: As you can see, things are HEATING up between Veronica Strader and Dylan Thomas. Strader is playing a very aggressive game these days...some might say TOO aggressive. Will it hold up against Dylan Thomas or will the pro wrestling vet use Vee’s aggression against her? Those results remain to be seen.
~Our camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: One result that CAN’T be disputed it Veronica’s in ring victory over the weekend. She threw out an open challenge and it was answered...let’s cut to the footage of the OCW TransAtlantic Champion in action from Christmas Day!
~The OCW fans are a special breed of fans. They are blood thirsty, and they are always in the arena. Don’t they have jobs? Probably Instagram Influencers and YouTube stars. Anyway, they are still riding the high of Monday Night Equality and the in-ring debut of Gregory The Elephant. Yeah, an elephant. If the SexClubs of the world can have Literal Gorillas, then OCW can have a goddamn elephant and LOBSTER MOBSTERS! They are close to falling asleep as they have started bringing pillows and sleeping bags for comfort; Strong and Proud fans. Like stated, they are starting to drift off to Never-Neverland when funky guitar riff of “Just A Girl” by No Doubt hits. Dressed in her ring gear: purple knee-high leather boots held with white laces, black leather pants with purple tassels from her waist to where the boots start, silver chain-styled belt, and a purple ladies muscle shirt attached to collar around her neck walks out with her championship on her right shoulder. She intertwines her purple fingerless gloved hands cracking them in front of her and then holds her right fist up holding her Trans-Atlantic championship belt in the air with the fans cheering with approval. The Head Mistress and Roxxie G step out behind her in Black Widow styled black outfits and get cheers of their own. The trio reach ring side, with Marcy taking one ring post and Roxxie the other guarding their employer as they face the entrance way. Belvedere hands Veronica the microphone as the music dies down.~
Veronica: Oh, my faithful OCW fans, there are none other like you! I just love each and every one of you! I threw my own “sister” off the top of this arena not just for breaking into this state-of-the-art facility, but for each and every one of you!
OCW Fans: Thank-You-Vee! Thank-You-Vee! Thank-You-Vee!
~ Veronica smiles as she adjust the Trans-Atlantic strap over her right shoulder.~
Veronica: You are so very welcome, I know how bloodthirsty you all are and it was my absolute pleasure to fulfill that blood lust...
~Partially true, but she did it because she hates Cara Strader. While they are sisters by blood, Veronica is not Victoria. Victoria is gone, and the chances of her taking control are slim to none.~
Veronica: In 40 days Dylan Thomas and myself will be dropped on block in Detroit that has been abandoned for well over a decade and I want to make sure I stay in ring shape. So this is for the best General Manager and mentor a gal could have… Marcus Welsh! I have a request.. I want a match. I don’t care against who, I just want someone I can make bleed for these amazing fans, and to keep myself in ring shape for when I successfully defend my beautiful title belt, the Trans-Atlantic Championship!
~The fans cheer with approval at her request to spill more blood and to stay sharp by wrestling matches in preparation for ACCESS DENIED.~
Veronica: I don’t care who it is, Marcus. You can pick because it doesn’t matter who it is because I know I can AND will kick the ever-living shit out of them!
~Veronica walks up to the rope, leaning over it looking up at the entrance curtain awaiting for whoever Marcus Welsh sends out.~
~The OCWTron flickers. We see Marcus Welsh seated at a table, sipping on some McDonald's coffee with a half eaten gingerbread cookie nearby...it looks surprisingly like a superkicking Zybala. Welsh turns around, facing us~
Marcus Welsh: Merry Christmas, Vee. Merry Christmas, OCW. As you can see, OCW's TransAtlantic Champion has once again grabbed the bull by the horns and taken initiative. She's going to be the first signed wrestler to compete inside an OCW ring since Death March.
~Welsh grabs the gingerbread man and bites off the leg that's in the 'superkick' position~
Marcus Welsh: Delicious. It's this type of go-getter attitude that will propel Miss Strader to the top of OCW sooner rather than later. So, without further ado and because I know all you fans inside that Arena are hungry for some action...let's bring out Vee's opponent!
~The crowd rises with anticipation as Welsh vanishes from screen~
Smith: Who's it gonna be?
Hood: Shut up and find out like everyone else!
~The crowd starts jamming out to the unique take on a Christmas Classic. A middle aged man with a bottle of Beam in one hand and a bottle of Crown in the other stumbles out from behind the curtain. His nose is red...not painted...no foam ball...red from years of alcohol abuse~
Belvedere: MERRY CHRISTMAS, OCW
Fans: MERRY CHRISTMAS, BELV
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL
Fans: ONE MERRY FALL
Belvedere: Introducing first...she is the OCW TransAtlantic Champion...she is Proud and Strong...she is...Veronica Strader!!!
Fans: PROUD AND STRONG
~One fan yells "SUCK IT, CARA"~
Belvedere: And, her opponent...with a 10 inch North Pole...wait, that can't be right.
~Belvedere is nonplussed...that doesn't read or sound like a hometown. Vee's opponent roars with laughter...he follows that up with a few lewd pelvic thrusts in the direction of some female spectators. A light bulb flickers over Belvedere's head~
Belvedere: Oh. How lovely. Ahem. Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you Rudolph.
~The drunk named Rudolph trips over the bottom step...he slowly crawls up before rolling into the ring, spilling some liquor on the mat. He shakily reaches his feet and sizes Veronica up~
Smith: The man is named Rudolph. He has a red nose. But I don't think he's a reindeer.
Hood: He may identify as a reindeer, Smith. Stop being so narrow-minded.
~Belvedere exits. The bell sounds. Rudolph throws down a cheesy line Veronica's way, "Say, are you a chimney cause I'd like to crawl all up in your soot." Everyone is like 'wtf'. That line made absolutely zero sense. But, he keeps talking, "Did you leave Santa any cookies? he he he"~
Smith: He realizes he's Rudolph and NOT Santa, right?
Hood: I'm not sure he knows what dimension he's in right now, Smith.
Smith: Well, it's about to get worse.
~Rudolph tries to speak again...but Veronica BLASTS him with a A Like Supreme (Superkick)!!! He flies back against the ropes before ricocheting off and stumbling toward her~
Smith: What a kick! Named after her uncle...OCW Savage legend Supreme Machine!
Hood: Rudolph held on to both bottles. What a pro.
~Veronica rips the bottles from his hands...she then SMASHES them into the side of his head simultaneously, crushing his skull in a glassy, whiskey fueled explosion. He's out on his feet...blood leaking out of his shitty brain. Vee kicks him in the gut. He doubles over. She grabs both his arms, hooks them and drops him face first with The Wild One (Pedigree)!!!! The fans go wild!!! She flips him over and make the pin...Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...The TransAtlantic Champion...VERONICA STRADER!!!!!
Smith: Short work in there by our TransAtlantic Champion!
Hood: This is definitely NOT where Rudolph parked his car.
Smith: I really hope he didn't drive here.
Hood: Well, I can promise he won't be driving to his next destination...the hospital.
Smith: Indeed...folks, Veronica looks as sharp and as focused as ever! Stay tuned as more matches could go down at any time right here inside the OCW Arena!!
Hood: And Merry Christmas, fuckers.
Smith: Yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS
~We cut back to Cheasy inside the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Strader with a dominating win against RUDOLPH. As you can see, the action at OCW literally NEVER stops. Alright, let’s head to a commercial break and when we return, we’ll receive word from a pair of OCW tag team legends.
We open to the home of the Dravers Family, where everyone’s favourite identical twin tag team of Online Championship Wrestling stare with huge grins on their faces.
Nathan: Greetings, one and all….the OCW Faithful. OUR OCW Faithful! We have some awesome news for all of the Dravers Fam out there!
Jonathan: That’s right, bro… just a sec.
Jonathan momentarily wanders off screen and returns seconds later carrying two title belts, handing one to Nathan.
Jonathan: These things of beauty right here are the OCW tag team titles.
Nathan: That’s right! And after the….stuff that happened however long ago…last year?
Nathan looks at Jonathan and the twins both shrug.
Nathan: We were awarded the belts in recognition of us being huge TV stars and our being three -time champions during our OCW tenure. Now, I’m not sure when Zybala’s tournament is happening but it’s a foregone conclusion that we’re gonna win that anyway right? I mean we ARE the best damn twin tag team that OCW ever saw. And I don’t mean to brag but I did beat Bob fuckin’ Grenier back in the day.
The twins chuckle.
Jonathan: Yeah and the gig on Outsiders as the ‘Weekend’ was fun and all…. But you, the OCW Faithful, the Dravers Fam deserve to see us in an actual wrestling ring that isn’t being held together by duct tape. Right? Right?
The twins chuckle again and high five.
Jonathan: Look hey, we’re just kidding. Really we wanna thank all our fans out there for making this happen. We love you all. Honestly, we couldn’t be where we are without you guys. The highest grossing reality TV show on TV right now. So thank-you.
Nathan: That’s right! Cheers Dravers Fam. I mean technically it was our star power but we couldn’t get our star power without the Fam. Stay OCW Proud, Stay OCW Strong. We’ll see you all in the new year.
The twins smile as the camera fades. Before it can fade away, we get some static...the screen instantly cuts to the ominous image OCW’s entire staff and roster received a few days ago
~We cut back to the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: Great to hear from The Dravers! And, it’s nice to see those Tag Titles back with the twins. No lie, they might be my favorite tag team of all time...minus Perfectly Marvelous, of course!
~Cheasy gets a little serious...ya know, more serious than usual~
Cheasy M: But what’s with that graphic? The Endd is Near? What could that mean? And what’s with the placement? Is someone GUNNING for the Dravers? Are the Dravers in danger? If so, that’d be crazy.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: I’m sure we’ll hear more from The Dravers in the coming weeks...as well as...whatever that graphic is supposed to mean. For the moment, we shift our focus to the oft-mentioned Craze Championship!
Cheasy M: That’s right! Ed Houston is a champion once again! Houston had a subpar 2021. Don’t believe me? Just ask him! But, The Rocketman managed to salvage the year with a big win at Death March, becoming a three time Craze Champion! Once again, Ed is flying high as we head into the new year. Who will his first title defense be against?
~Cheasy points at the graphic~
Cheasy M: You guys have eyes, right? Well, FEAST THEM. It’s the Most Worthiest of Them All! PerZag, fresh off his Hall of Fame induction is stepping back into the ring to test The Rocketman. These two men have been around each other for years...but, as far as I know, this might be the first time they’ve ever crossed paths.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Ed’s defeated Hall of Famers. He’s taken down champions. But, like so many others on the current OCW roster, he’s yet to claim the ultimate prize in the greatest promotion in the history of this profession. A win over PerZag would certainly help propel him into the main event...and, dare I say, if he does pull it off, he’d have a major case for being THE NEXT contender for the OCW Title.
~A violent camera cut. Cheasy spins around with an equal amount of grace and violence~
Cheasy M: And, as for PerZag...as previously mentioned, he finally cleared the ultimate hurdle in his OCW career. He made the OCW Hall of Fame. Let’s go back to Death March and re-live his induction speech.
~'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor blasts over the PA system as the man known as 'The Worthiest of Them All' returns to OCW. He walks onto the stage, dressed in a black suit and tie, as he stares out towards the ecstatic crowd~
~The crowd cheers on as PerZag waves to the crowd before turning around and looking up at the screen. A picture of PerZag sits on the screen with the words 'OCW HALL OF FAME' written above it~
~PerZag nods his head, a smile a mile wide as he looks over towards a podium on his right. He shakes his head, heading towards the OCW ring at the bottom of the rampway~
~As he points and acknowledges the fans in attendance on the way down to the ring, he receives a microphone from Belvedere. Then, microphone in hand, he walks around the ring, staring at the ropes, the turnbuckles, the mat, the whole ring itself~
~He reaches the steel steps and walks up them one step at a time. He jumps up and down on the apron before stepping between the ropes and into the ring. He takes a couple of jumps on the mat, testing it out, before looking out at the crowd all around him. He lifts the microphone up, ready to speak~
PerZag: Wow. I mean, WOW! I didn't expect an ovation like this.
~The crowd begins cheering as PerZag smiles at the crowd around him before mouthing the words 'Thank You' to them~
PerZag: I cannot believe that it's been eight months since I last stepped in a wrestling ring. Or that it's been about a year and a half that I fought in OCW. Man, time flies. All this feels like it was yesterday. But, man, it is good to be back. 'The Worthiest of Them All' graces your ring once again. And it feels good. Feels like I could step back in once again.
~PerZag jumps up and down on the mat, feeling the whole ring vibrate~
PerZag: But as of right now, wrestling in this ring is at the back of my mind. Because THAT is what I am here for…….
~PerZag points towards the screen with his OCW Hall of Fame picture~
PerZag: ………. After seven and a half years since my debut in OCW, in wrestling in general, I have finally been inducted into THE OCW Hall of Fame. THE biggest, THE best group of wrestlers that any company could ever have. My name is finally going to sit beside the likes of Lurrr……..Mario Maurako……...Big Bifford………..Paul Paras…………and Scott Syren, just to name a few. And I couldn't be any happier.
~PerZag takes a breath, admiring the view from the ring to a sold-out crowd~
PerZag: When I started in wrestling, right here in OCW, I had no family, friends, no acquaintances, nobody that would be there to guide me. I had President Dean, who signed my contract, and that was it. That was the only person I knew. But within my first week into the business, two people approached me and gave me the help I needed. Scott Syren and Pryde, thank you very much. Without the two of you, I would've just been a two-week wonder like all the other jobbers from 2014. So please, everyone, with me, wherever those two guys are now, give them a round of applause.
~PerZag and the crowd give a few seconds of applause before PerZag continues with the speech~
PerZag: And with them, with Operation Zero, I shot up the cards. Won the Internet Championship at my first ever Pay Per View. Defeating none other than Chad Vargas as well as Bob Grenier.
~The Canadian crowd gives Grenier a massive cheer as PerZag smiles and nods~
PerZag: I knew you would do that. And from there, everything just came up PerZag. I successfully defended the Internet title before dropping it to move up the cards towards the main event scene. And this was where I was crowned the first and only OCW Northeastern Champion. That capped what the best year of my career in OCW was. The following year I would win the OCW Paradigm Championship, which led to my career highlight.
~PerZag takes another deep breath~
PerZag: April 10th, 2017. Monday Night Massacre. A match against then OCW Champion, MJ Bell. A match that should've happened three years earlier but didn't. And on that night, I was crowned OCW World Champion. But, still to this day, that night was my highlight. That as well as the night I won the OCW Internet Championship. Because on that night in 2017, I had finally hit the ceiling. I had finally reached the mountain top. But, I didn't realise how hard the fall would be.
~PerZag drops his head and looks at the mat below him~
PerZag: If it wasn't for my own idiocy, I could've been in this Hall of Fame all the way back then. But…………
~PerZag lifts his head up and shrugs his shoulders~
PerZag: ………… At least I got a good story out of it………
~PerZag starts chuckling as you can hear some of the crowd chuckles along with him~
PerZag: …….. Because after 2017, my career was really nothing here. I came in, fought a few matches and left. I cannot tell you why. Maybe it was because I had already tasted the ultimate success. I do not know to this day, but one thing is for sure, as soon as my name was talked about in the OCW Hall of Fame picture. There was nothing more I wanted. I wanted to be a part of that elite group. To be written alongside icons of this company. And now I have finally made it.
~PerZag looks back up at the screen~
PerZag: Now, I know I took you on a bit of a journey to the past with this speech, but they were my proudest moments of being in this company. I couldn't have fonder memories from Operation Zero with Scott Syren and Pryde to the Internet championship teaming up with Bob Grenier in Power and Worth to winning the OCW Championship. And across this journey, I have thanked everyone who had impacted my career. Whether that was in person or in this speech, I thank you. I thank all of you. Because seven years on, I am still here. I am still standing right here in the centre of this ring.
~PerZag points down to the mat below him and stares out towards the crowd~
PerZag: But here is something I haven't told you. Today, I was told that I could use that podium up on that stage to do my speech or come down to this very ring and do it. I chose to be in this ring. I decided to stand here in front of you because this is where I did all of my work. This is where I fought with every ounce of strength I had in my body. This is where I put everything on the line. Right here, in this ring, in front of you all. There is no better place, location, and moment than this spot right here.
~PerZag looks around the crowd as everyone in the arena starts applauding~
PerZag: Now, there is one last thing I need to say, and then I will let the action continue. This wrestling ring has been my life for the past seven years. Whether in OCW or another company, this ring has been my home in front of all of you. Now, for those of you who think I am taking this speech down a particular road, I can tell you, I am not. I am still only a seven-year rookie in this wrestling business, and until the day I die, I won't ever retire. Whether I disappear for a month or two or a year or two, I will be back. This business is just way too enticing to stay away.
~PerZag lifts one finger up for the whole arena to see~
PerZag: But here's the thing, I am not done wrestling. It could be here; it could be elsewhere. But, just in case, this is the last time I ever step foot inside of an OCW wrestling ring. Thank you all. Thank every single last one of you for buying a ticket to one of these shows. Thank you for purchasing our merchandise. Thank you to every wrestler who's ever been on this roster, and a big thank you to those who've run this company. Because without OCW, there is no PerZag. And without me, you all wouldn't know who is 'The Worthiest of Them All'.
~PerZag drops the microphone onto the mat as 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor blasts over the PA system. He steps out of the ring and walks over to the barricades, high-fiving the fans as he makes his way up the rampway towards the back~
Smith: Great speech from our newest Hall of Famer.
Hood: He deserves it, Smith. He’s won EVERYTHING there is to win around here.
Smith: Absolutely. As deserving as they come...congratulations, PerZag on an honor well earned. We hope to see you in the ring again, someday.
Hood: And, if not...it was a fuckin pleasure.
Smith: Indeed
~We cut back to Cheasy~
Cheasy M: Hell of an induction. Hell of a career...SO FAR. PerZag re-enters the ring at Access Denied to take on what some consider to be a future Hall of Famer, Ed Houston! Another marquee match for an event that’s setting up to be one of OCW’s all time greatest. Now, stick around...when we come back we’ll talk HEAT CHECK and the OCW Title. Piledriver returns, after these messages!
~We return to Piledriver~
Cheasy M: And we’re back! Now, before we dive into the main event portion of our programming...let’s take a look at this week’s updated HEAT CHECK!
Cheasy M: So hot! According to the Heat Check, Strader and Thomas are leading the way with the HOTTEST feud in the company right now. And, it should come as no surprise that Mike Zybala is the HOTTEST wrestler in the company at this time. You just can’t keep the wild man down.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Want to move up the HEAT CHECK? Easy. Get your name out there. Produce. Heat is always generated by work ethic. Those who work the hardest generate the most heat.
~Another cut. Another Cheasy adjustment~
Cheasy M: And now...we dive into...THE MAIN EVENT
Cheasy M: Outcast...the 2021 Wrestler of the Year...the current OCW Champion, a man who appears well on his way to joining PerZag in the OCW Hall of Fame has dominated in-ring competition since OCW’s return in 2021. The man has carried this promotion on his back. He’s the headliner, the star, the backbone a fed can rely on. Proud and Strong.
~Cheasy M raises a fist in the air for Outcast. For he is a man. A man with guts and balls. He isn’t a pussy. He just slays them~
Cheasy M: Outcast managed to stave off Mike Zybala and was able to leave Canada with the OCW Title. Things only got more difficult from there, I’m afraid...if you’re team Outcast. At the Christmas Party, a drunk Outcast arrived ready to celebrate in the achievements he’d earned throughout the calendar year. Yet, he was stunned when a familiar face made an appearance, changing the outlook of his match at Access Denied...let’s take a look!
~We suddenly see a figure enter from the side. He stumbles in holding a Bud Light~
Lurrr: Did I miss the party???? Fuckkkk….I knew the day drinking would cause me to lose track of time.
~Lurrr looks around not knowing Outcast is still hanging around. He stumbles forward and notices the OCW Champ~
Lurrr: Well isn’t this a Christmas miracle??? The one and only Outcast in the presence of the best OCW has ever seen.
~Outcast is being held up looking up at Lurrr not able to talk~
Lurrr: What?? You don’t have anything to say to the man who built this company from the ground up??
~Silence from Outcast as he seems out of it and Lurrr gives a smile~
Lurrr: Well I have a lot to say!!! Let’s start by making it known what a real HOF’er is. Number one, they aren’t cowards who run from the company who made them. We have seen some disloyal cocksuckers over the last few months turn their back on this great company that I built. They ran away because they knew they couldn’t hack it.
~Outcast just looks on as Lurrr finishes his beer~
Lurrr: Damn I thought the OCW champ would be able to hold his liquor better pathetic….Number two a real HOF’er shows respect to those who have carried them for almost 20 plus years and doesn’t crawl into a overrated hole of a company like some.
~Outcast looks on still trying to get himself together~
Lurrr: Oh no not you Outcast you were smart you hung around cause you knew the competition would lighten up. You are a smart man for that. But number three, a real HOF’er always ensures he has backup. So that brings me to you. If I ever had another wrestler I respected in this industry it was one man….his name is Marvelous Mario Maurako!!! The only guy who may deserve an OCW title more than me. So guess what….at Access Denied I will be side by side with him to ensure the OCW Title is in the possession of a rightful owner and not a guy who preys off average pussy wrestlers. At Access Denied your reign of the next “big” thing will be over…you can bring your recent accolades with you and these two HOF’ers will show you what greatness actually looks like.
~Lurrr throws his beer bottle down and walks away with that cocky grin we are always used to seeing~
~Welsh leans over the top rope~
Marcus Welsh: Lurrr! Damnit, he's drunk! If he weren't, he'd make you eat those words...well, aside form the ones about pussies running from OCW...you were spot on there.
~Lurrr gives Welsh the finger. He then does the universal 'beer me' sign with his hands. A beer flies from the crowd. He catches it and cracks it open...backing up to the stage~
Lurrr: Outcast! I'll see you at Access Denied as I ensure that Mario finally gets what's rightfully his!
~Lurrr chugs the beer and slams it down, against the metal stage. Welsh yells...but his mic is cut off. We fade out with a shot of a drunk Outcast and a furious Welsh. We cut back to Cheasy inside the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: That’s right, Lurrr will be in Mario’s corner at Access Denied. Lurrr and Maurako have been friends for a long time...most notably dating back to 2015 when the team of Lurrrauko challenged Awe.Some for the OCW Tag Titles at Code of Silence. Lurrr cares very deeply about the OCW Title...the belt he helped establish, and he’d love nothing more than to see his friend, Maurako, finally earn the strap.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Now, as for Outcast...let’s check in on what he’s been doing since Lurrr’s interruption at the OCW Christmas Party.
*Binge and Purge by Clutch plays over the PA and the crowd begins to boo as Outcast emerges onto the entrance way. Outcast isn't dressed in his normal writing attire, but instead is wearing an all black suit. Outcast undoes the buttons of his jacket and opens it to reveal the OCW championship around his waist. Outcast rubs the belt and then walks toward the ring.
His smile seems to grow as the boos become louder and louder. Outcast walks up the ring steps and stops to take a moment and soak in the hate. Outcast closes his eyes and inhales deeply. He then opens his eyes and steps into the ring where he is handed a microphone. *
Outcast: First of all, I deserve that ovation you gave me. These past few weeks, hell, these past few months I've been a real piece of fecalmatter. And I want you all too know, that I'm going to change.
*The crowd gives a very small applause. *
Outcast: That's right. I'M GOING TO BE EVEN F**KING WORSE!
*Crowd erupts with boos. Outcast smirks and holds his arms in the air flipping the crowd off. *
Outcast: Now, let me get to the root of the matter. Friday at the OCW Christmas party I showed up on the end of three day bender that lasted until Saturday night. So yeah, I wasn't exactly at my best Friday night, and that is when that lazy eyed' f**k Lurrr wants to come spout his dick holder off at me.
These OCW hall of famers sure know how to pick their spots. I guess taking advantage of the situation is how they all got in the hall, and I thought they got there from the work they did on their knees. But no, it's because they know how to pick their spots, they know when they can shine, and when they can hide.
After the purge, OCW was at it's lowest, and while everyone was fleeing like rats from a sinking ship, I was busy bailing out the water. I kept this place afloat, I was the one who kept it relevant, I was the one who had the light in him, and then the hall of famers wanted to come for what they thought was easy pickings. They started coming out of their dark holes called obscurity looking for some lime light. Lurrr, Perzag, Chad Vargas, Big Bifford is sniffing around, and of course how could we forget Marvelous Mario Maurako.
Sh*t, I thought that Mark Mason goof was the real Marvelous one, but apparently it's Mario. I remember hearing you cry about Mason calling himself Marvelous and all I was wondering is who the f**k you were Mario. Then I got clued in that you are a hall of famer, but only because you got carried there by your tag team partner.
F**king pathetic.
*Outcast reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a Newport and places it into his mouth. Outcast lights the Newport and then removes the OCW title and tosses it over his shoulder as he exhales a cloud of smoke. *
Outcast: Mario, you can have Lurrr in your corner, sh*t you can have every living member of the hall of fame in your corner, because when it comes down to it, it is just me and you in that ring Mario. Man against sniveling little cry baby b*tch.
Then again, that probably isn't what you have in mind is it Mario? Na, Lurrr as much as said so Friday night. Lurrr gave away the game plan like the dumbass he is. Sometimes Lurrr, silence is golden, something you need to figure out before someone breaks your jaw so it gets wired shut.
Huh, maybe I'll be the one to do it for you.
*Outcast smirks and takes another drag from his Newport as the crowd boos again. *
Outcast: Speaking of wired, how about I go ahead and DENY ACCESS to Lurrr, and all those other has beens from the hall of fame. How about I go ahead and use my stroke as champion to go ahead and put a stipulation on this match Mario? How about we make sure that you don't have anyone to blame for your loss but yourself? How about we make sure that I leave your face looking like fresh ground beef? How about...
WE MAKE IT A BARBED WIRE CAGE MATCH!?!
*The crowd pops at the stipulation announcement. Outcast smirks as he takes another drag from his Newport. As the crowd quiets down Outcast continues. *
Outcast: Of course, if you are too big of a f**king pussy, well I wouldn't be surprised. Mario, eat your magic mushrooms and get real big but know I'm no cooper trooper, and I'm a bigger beast than bowser. I'm going to chew you up and spit you out, I'll eat you for breakfast, sh*t you for lunch and dine on the hall of fame leftovers for dinner. Hold your golden jacket close, cause it's the only gold you'll ever hold again in OCW.
*Outcast drops the mic, and takes another drag from his Newport before flipping the butt at the camera. We cut back to Cheasy inside the OCW Studio~
Cheasy M: As usual, Outcast isn’t messing around. He knows, as we all do that Mario Maurako feels destined to claim the OCW Title. Almost as though its his right. And the arrival of Lurrr only seems to cement this from theory to fact. Outcast has been handed nothing in his career. He’s earned everything he’s received...so the idea of a legend stepping in and demanding what he’s earned because it’s their ‘right’ absolutely pisses him off.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: Mario, on the other hand, has done it all in OCW. And whether or not it IS his right to wear the OCW Title at some point in his career, nobody can deny that he’s earned his spot at the top of the OCW food chain. OCW is what it is because of Mario Maurako. I could go into detail over how much Mario has helped establish OCW as a brand in professional wrestling but, to be honest, that’d take all night. He’s as influential to the red and black of OCW as anybody. He invented Proud and Strong.
~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~
Cheasy M: When Outcast was cutting his teeth in OCW, in the early 00s...when Outcast was struggling to compete for the lower tiered titles, Maurako was on top. Now, it’s Mario who seeks to knock Outcast off OCW’s most coveted throne. Will he? We’re going to…
~Our transmission buzzes. It shakes. We cut away. We’re taken to a room with epic music playing in the background. The giant, muscular back belonging to MARIO MAURAKO covers our entire view. We pan out to find the man genuflecting in front of an altar. An altar that displays all of his pro wrestling achievements. Awards. Championships. You name it, it’s there...aside from one, glaring bare spot at the very top. A spot reserved for the crowning achievement of his in-ring career. A gravelly voice clears passage for voice. Lurrr steps into view as Mario continues to pray~
Lurrr: Outcast. We heard what you had to say last week. Sounded like the words of a desperate man to me. Why are you so desperate? Because you’re waging losing wars, Outcast. Everybody and their mother have heard you complain about your age and fighting against father time. Well, the original ICON can tell you that’s a battle you will not win.
~Lurrr pauses as Mario remains still~
Lurrr: And now you’re taking aim at my friend here, Mario Maurako. You may have carried this promotion on your back for the better part of a year...but Mario, this man has carried OCW on his back for two decades. He was signing autographs as “Hall of Famer Mario Maurako” when you were wrestling J ‘Ghetto Town’ Rish in the opening match at some shitty OCW event nobody remembers.
~Mario’s head slowly rises~
Lurrr: The only reason you’ve got our attention isn’t because of who you are but what you carry. You’ll notice the bare spot on Mario’s alter. Well, that spot is reserved for the lone item missing from his unrivaled resume. That spot is reserved for the OCW Title. And I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing limp dick pussies pass that thing around like its a member of the Monday Night Equality roster.
~Mario stands and turns. He’s never looked more focused. Lurrr looks up at the big man and pats him on the chest...he points at a scar. A scar that rests right above his heart~
Lurrr: It’s about heart, Outcast. Something the purged and the spineless pussies who ran away can and will never understand. It’s about laying it all on the line to be the best OCW has to offer. You say you have what it takes, but do you? Do you, really? I know Mario does. This scar, right here? It’s proof that he’s willing to do whatever it takes when the time comes. This man has literally given his HEART to this promotion and, he has no problem doing it again.
~Lurrr pats Mario on the back~
Lurrr: You want a barbed wire cage match? Fine. You’re just digging yourself a deeper hole, Outcast. A cage won’t save you from what’s coming. This man, right here? The man who has given everything to this company? That title should be his. And, come January 30th, it will be.
~Lurrr spits at the ground as Mario continues glaring into the camera. We slowly fade out~
AND NOW A SPECIAL VIDEO REVIEWING THE YEAR THAT WAS 2021! LOOK FORWARD TO WRITING WITH YOU GUYS IN 2022! HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS!