December 26th 2022
FROM: OCW ARENA & STUDIO
Key West, Florida
~The OCW Arena is packed this Monday for the very special edition “Boxing Day” Piledriver. A many of stereotypical Florida men, women and Imperial Probe Droids are in attendance tonight, some are dressed as the Furrie they identify the best with, grown men wearing adult diapers, of course, some connoisseurs of the finest bath salts fellatio can buy and people with alligators on leashes, but KNUX and MAD MAX were on top of getting those whack jobs out of the arena. The arena lights dim down as yellow, black, and white lights flicker about the venue to the rhythm of “Tush” by the trio known as ZZ Top plays throughout. The guitar stylings of Billy Gibbons vibrates through everyone and everything. The OCWTron comes to life, giving us an image of SYNN creeping out the Commissioner and of Dylan Thomas with a blank stare, not listening to his closest allies. We then get Crash Rodriguez betraying Paramount to become a Bastard and fellow Bastard, Nickleman, scoping out future IKEAs. Bourbon is showing smashing PIC with a wrench in the head while Thunder Knuckles flips off the crowd and HaVeN being HaVeN being hard to read (see what I did there?). Next, we have Shane Donovan outlasting many others at the Rumble, only to be screwed over by Scott Syren but earning his Paradigm shot nonetheless. Harmon Egan being helped to his feet by his manager Corey Smith followed by Sahara winning her Paradigm championship. Then it’s Mike Zybala announcing he was putting his career on the line to for the OCW Championship, The Big Bifford winning the Rumble in the Bronx to the OCW Champion holding his black leather, ruby encrusted gold plated OCW Championship belt. We pan around the arena to some of the signs in the crowd.~
THESE BATH SALTS ARE MAKIN’ ME HUNGRY
~The camera comes and pans down to ringside to the commentators desk where Hood and Smith sit looking excited for the evening.~
Smith: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to a very special Boxing Day Piledriver! I’m Smith! And with me as always, is the ornery Hood!
Hood: I’m not ornery, you bitch.
Smith: Right…
Hood: Listen I rather be drunk at home right now instead of drunk and at work.
Smith: We don’t always get what we want.
Hood: Thanks, Sherlock.
Smith: We have two big matches for you tonight! After the the first segment from the Commissioner and Knifey we will have Bobby Bourbon, Donnie Harris and SYNN competing in a triple threat! Then at the end of the night, Moonlight Rose will be taking on XWF legend, Dolly Waters!
Hood: The Bastards are one thing, as was Thad, but there are far to many XWF’ers coming in here.
Smith: They just want to be a big part of the OCW machine! Anyway! Ready to go in the OCW Studio right here in the arena, Victoria Strader and The Knife Man have kicked Cheasy out the place we make him stay everytime we go away!
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
~ The OCWTron lights up for the arena crowd, and for the home viewer the broadcast moves to the studio itself. Victoria Strader in a sharp green suit and black turtle neck smiles for the camera and the Knife Man’s hair on his mask is slicked back and is in a very nice Tuxedo with his trusty KNIFE stabbed into the black desk that is reminiscent of a Morning show on a fancy pants network with the Piledriver banner in the centre of it, and what is most likely a green screen behind the two, but it is displaying the OCW HWTSD logo on a red and black background.~
Victoria Strader: Welcome to a very special edition OCW Boxing Day Piledriver! With me tonight is a close friend, a fantastic mechanic, an excellent medic and only gynacologist I would ever let keep my vaginal health at the highest level as well as the hardest working employee I have… The Knife Man!
TKM: Thank you very much, Vee. It means a lot to me that said, and like former OCW TransAtlantic Champion, Vodka Black, says… whether it is your scooter or your cooter, you are good hands with The Knife Man!
Victoria Strader: That’s right. So as Smith and Hood told everyone, we have two very special matches tonight but the main attraction is to hype the matches for OCW’s Premium Live Event, Hardwired To Self-Destruct!
TKM: We are going with Premium Live Event?
Victoria Strader: Why not? It pisses off the neckbeards and that’s my Christmas to myself.
TKM: Makes sense to me! So our opening match on New Year’s Eve is OCW’s A-Lister Dylan Thomas and OCW Newcomer SYNN!
Victoria Strader: That’s right, Knifey!
Victoria Strader: Dylan Thomas has the heart of a champion, being a former Craze and Savage Champion and he hopes to gain a chance to reclaim the Craze Championship brought to heights it hasn’t seen in years from the former champion Tamika Strader and current champion Harmon “Harmony” Egan.
TKM: A year ago at Death March December 5th, 2020, Dylan was unsuccessful in retaining the Craze Championship, and former owner as well as former General Manager, Marcus Welsh, tried to make that up to him giving him a shot at the TransAtlantic Championship but was unsuccessful in his attempt to dethrone OCW’s greatest TransAtlantic Champion in Veronica Strader!
Victoria Strader: That’s right, but he did take down OCW Hall of Fame member, The Hoot Queen herself, Alice Knight, to win the vacant Savage Championship at Big Game Hunting. He wasn’t able to get past Marvellous Mike Mason for a shot at the OCW Championship but what Dylan has the most of over every other member of the roster is heart. You knock him down, he gets right back up, dusts himself off, kisses his gorgeous wife and gets right back at it. Unfortunately for Dylan, he was placed in a match with a guy whose inner child is overweight and lives at home with his parents cause he is a lazy and creepy twat, with our current OCW Champion, PIC, and wasn’t able to hold onto the now retired Savage title.
TKM: And on the other side of the ring is SYNN. She’s come into OCW to clean the place up starting with The Nickleman and the Brotherhood of Bastards. You had a chance to meet with her one on one a couple times.
~Victoria gives The Knife Man a blank glare, but it turns to a smile after a couple seconds.~
Victoria Strader: That’s right I did. I first met her when she signed with OCW but I got to know her even better when she showed up at my office to let me know her plans of taking the women’s division by storm, which I corrected her that we aren’t stuck in 1998, and how she wanted to clean up the Bastards. This won’t be an easy match for Dylan to get through as SYNN is very talented and she will make her mark in OCW History.
TKM: Speaking of which, it’s time for Bobby Bourbon, Donnie Harris and SYNN in a special attraction triple threat!
Smith: Hello again fans! As you can see, all three competitors are in the ring, and waiting to get started!
Hood: Yeah, and SYNN is being all weird over in her corner, Smith.
Smith: She is just unique and one of a kind!
Hood: She is odd man, just like that Hoot Broad.
Smith: You will not talk shit about Alice! Anyways, looks like Cuff is about to call for the bell!
~ DING DING DING ~
~ Bourbon throws a haymaker that connects with Harris sending him down to the mat hard and the only two standing now is SYNN and Bourbon. Harris is up quickly though diving at Bourbon with an MMA takedown into a Lou Thesz press and he begins to pound away at Bourbon's temples with fury. SYNN hits the ropes delivering a running dropkick that sends Harris through the ropes and to the outside. SYNN picks up Bourbon to a vertical base and begins to pepper him with lefts and rights until he is in a corner. SYNN looks behind her to make sure Harris isn't behind her before Irish whipping Bourbon into the opposite turnbuckles. Bourbon reverses the whip and SYNN is sent careening to the corner. Bourbon goes to charge at SYNN, but Donnie has grabbed his foot from under the bottom rope. Bourbon stomps down on the hand, but Donnie manages to release the foot just in time. Bourbon turns back to SYNN, but is met by a spear to the ribs. The force of the spear sends Bourbon through the ropes into the waiting arms of Donnie Harris. Harris catches Bourbon in a full nelson and slams him down to the thin mat at ringside.~
Smith: A lot of action so far here, Hood.
Hood: With only two matches tonight, it fucking better be, don’tcha think?
~SYNN gets up from the spear that she gave Bourbon and is standing in the ring alone, as Cuff begins the mandatory ten count. SYNN hits the opposite ropes and rebounds with a leap over the top rope taking Donnie Harris down with a suicide dive into a bulldog that slams Donnie's head face first into that thin padding. SYNN rolls off of Donnie and looks down at her handy work when she is grabbed from behind by Bourbon. SYNN's eyes go wide as she is spun around and Bourbon slams a fist into SYNN's midsection doubling her over from the force. Bourbon delivers an uppercut to the bent over SYNN which causes her to stumble then fall over the downed Donnie Harris. In the ring, Cuff has gotten up to a count of two. Bourbon steps over Donnie towards SYNN. Donnie grabs the ankle of Bourbon once more, halting his progress for a second time in this match. Cuff has gotten to a count of "Three" inside the ring. Bourbon stomps down on the hand, but once again Donnie releases the ankle but punches the back of Bourbon's knee sending him down to the padding. Donnie rolls over to his knees delivering a right jab to Bourbon's jaw, Bourbon delivers a slow but deliberate punch to Harris's jaw. Meanwhile, SYNN has gotten up to her feet and climbs to the top turnbuckle, these two competitors only have fury for each other and intend on causing as much damage as they can to each other before one or the other kills the other person. SYNN leaps from the top rope with a cross body taking out the two men. SYNN rolls Donnie into the ring and begins to go to work on the OCW newcomer.~
Hood: Come on Bobby! Don’t let that whacko out do ya.
Smith: She is simply taking out the competition.
Hood: he has to know that crazy wench is coming for the bastards. I put her on the same level as that evil Hoot broad.
Smith: I love Alice.
~SYNN pulls Donnie up to his feet Irish whipping him into the ropes as Harris returns, SYNN nails him with a running STO that takes him down to the mat. SYNN pulls Donnie back up delivering a picture perfect neckbreaker to Harris's neck that takes him down to the mat. SYNN hooks Donnie up in a Tazmission, making sure to pay special attention to the neck area of Harris since she has decided to focus there. Bourbon rolls into the ring, he prepares himself by hitting the ropes. SYNN has her back to That No Good Bastard as Bourbon runs at her delivering a big boot to the back of SYNN's head causing her to release the submission hold. Bourbon picks up Donnie Harris by the neck and punches his face slowly and deliberately as it forces him back into the corner. Bourbon grabs Harris in a wristlock and climbs to the top rope and rope walks there with Harris's wrist in his grasp. Harris pulls on the arm and Bourbon is crotched on the top rope. Harris bounces the top rope multiple times, causing Bourbon more pain, before he falls towards the inside of the ring. Harris with a clothesline sends Bourbon back outside of the ring to the ringside area. Harris looks down at Bourbon before turning his attention to the charging SYNN. Harris duck his head just in time to back body drop SYNN over the top rope. Wait! SYNN skins the cat, old school style, and slides in under the bottom rope behind the unrealizing Harris. SYNN spins Donnie around delivering a right hand, Harris ducks under the blow hooking SYNN in a modified chicken wing submission. Harris pulls the wildly kicking and struggling SYNN to the center of the ring as Bourbon makes it to his feet on the outside of the ring. Bourbon climbs up to the apron and Harris sees him just in time and drops SYNN in the center of the ring. Harris charges at him, but Bourbon throws a well-aimed right hand that catches Harris right in the throat. Cuff warns Bourbon about that sort of blow, but Bourbon glares at Cuff with the depths of hell in his eyes or somethingcool like that cause he’s a Bastard. Bourbon goes through the ropea as Harris is still struggling to breath in the bent over position. Bourbon grabs Harris by the throat, pulling him to a vertical position before lifting him into the air. Bourbon slams him down to the mat with a delayed chokeslam before hooking the leg and making a pin. Cuff is there in position.~
1!
2!!
3NO!
~SYNN with a stomp on the back of Bourbon's head.~
Hood: SYNN screwing over Bobby.
Smith: She wants this win, Hood.
Hood: Yeah but it’s Bobby’s man. Go Bastard Go!
Smith: Go SYNN Go.
Hood: We need a third to be an asshole for Harris.
~ Bourbon rolls off of Donnie and Stares with fire in his eyes at SYNN; for her part, SYNN is not backing down as she leaps at Bourbon. That No Good Bastard grabs SYNN around the throat and slams her down as well with a chokeslam ontop of Donnie and kicks her off him. Bourbon covers Donnie once again.~
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!
~ Cuff indicates that it was less than an inch away from a three, but Bourbon pays no attention as he pulls Donnie up to his feet. Donnie with a boot to the midsection of Bourbon and a high knee lift to That No Good Bastard. Bourbon is stunned as Donnie kicks him in the top of his head. Bourbon stumbles backwards but Donnie charges with a single leg takedown but catches him just in time to put a knee under his ribs and turn Bourbon so that he falls on Donnie's knee. As Bourbon contacts Donnie's knee, he gives out a loud grunt of pain and rolls onto his front clutching at his ribs trying to rub away the pain. Donnie grins sickly as he hoists Bourbon up into an abdominal stretch. Donnie delivers a clubbing forearm blow to the stretched ribs and Bourbon grunts from the pain. Donnie lifts his free arm up into the air, dropping an elbow into the ribs as well.~
Hood: Harris with a big advantage as he works on Bourbon's ribs.
Smith: But That No Good Bastard can absorb a tremendous amount of pain. Probably from alcohol and drugs.
~SYNN is back up though bounces off the ropes with a dropkick connecting with the back of Donnie's head taking him down on top of Bourbon. SYNN works quickly as she whips Harris into the ropes taking him back down with a scissor kick. SYNN is moving quickly before Bourbon has a chance to regain his feet. SYNN with a forearm to Donnie sending him towards the ropes, Donnie counters with an arm drag takedown into a chicken wing submission on the mat, but SYNN is in the ropes and Cuff is there to break the hold. Donnie refuses to break the submission so Cuff is forced to begin the count. He gets to four and a half before Donnie breaks the submission hold, having caused some damage to SYNN's shoulder and elbow. Donnie pulls SYNN up to her feet peppering him with some stiff forearm shots to the face and side of her head; he looks at Bourbon and sees him about to get up to his hands and knees. Donnie runs over to Bourbon kicking him on the side before diving at the escaping SYNN with a shoulder tackle. Donnie is moving quickly, knowing that if Bourbon regains his feet once more, he'll have to contend with two people. Donnie goes to hook in a dragon sleeper and trying to turn it into a another move but SYNN catches him a school boy roll-up ala Lost Soul and Cuff is there with the count.~
1!
~ Bourbon sits up his head turning to see the rollup by SYNN.~
2!!
~ Bourbon dives at the two competitors.~
3!!!!!
~ DING DING DING ~
Belvedere: And your winner via pinfall...SYNN!!!!!!!!!
Smith: Great momentum win for SYNN heading into Hardwired, Hood!
Hood: Man, Cuff counted fast!
Smith: No he didn’t!
Hood: Whatever man, not surprised to see The Bastards getting screwed over!
Smith: But he wasn’t even pinned!
Hood: Hey, if your second you aren’t first.
Smith: God, I need to get Knifey to prescribe me some valium.
Hood: Wait, he can do that? Hook a brother up!
Smith: Anyway folks, back to the studio with the Commissioner Victoria Strader and The Knife Man, the host for our special Boxing Day Piledriver!
~ Victoria and Knifey look to be quietly chatting with the lights dimmed. They notice the camera rolling and look forward smiling (yes, Knifey’s mask is smiling and yes, it has teeth) as the lights come up.~
Victoria Strader: Big win for SYNN moving into Hardwired, and I know she plans on using that momentum to earn a shot at Harmon Egan, that is if he can get past OCW legend Scott Syren. But before we talk about that, up next, we have the returning Crash Rodriguez taking on fellow Bastard, The Nickleman, for a shot at the newly returned OCW Paradigm Championship!
TKM: The Nickleman has certainly made waves since he came into OCW. He’s gone 11 and 3 boss, with one of those being a heavy loss to The Big Bifford, pun not intended.
Victoria Strader: But there, nonetheless, just like the win he got back the other week. He came in here, and before the end of October, he was one-half of the OCW Tag Team Champions and the now-retired Savage Champion. It’s only surprising it didn’t happen sooner, but OCW did take a hiatus of sorts before I came in and righted the ship.
TKM: And also is a Bastard and overall terror in the XWF. He may have lost the Savage championship in hopes of defeating an ally of sorts for a period, but he, dare I say, would be after another shot at Sahara Duke.
Victoria Strader: Sahara Duke is the dream of any boss for that second champion that will top champion one day, but ya hope she doesn’t realize it ‘cause the Nickleman is looking to get even and become the champion I am sure he feels he deserves.
TKM: But he isn’t the only one competing for a shot. Former Craze champion Crash Rodriguez wants another chance to beat Sahara or Donovan next month in January of the new year.
Victoria Strader: It was unfortunate he was gone for a moment because I feel Crash vs Thomas would’ve gone to an epic showdown with PIC versus Crash. But if someone is going to be labelled the type of boss to reward for getting their kitty licked for title opportunities, it should be the work-ethical lesbian that allows it.
TKM: To be honest, ma’am, it was kind of funny.
~Victoria stares at him for ten seconds with a very serious face that feels instant, she smiles and chuckles.~
Victoria Strader: Everybody needs something to do.
~ Knifey’s mask looks like it’s laughing, and not gonna… slightly terrifying. Even more than Showgirls starring Jesse Spano.~
Victoria Strader: But Crash he is tenacious when he wants something. He chased the Craze title for 3 years or so, and while it did take him two tries at Tamika Strader, he dethroned her, and looked to set records himself but just not meant to be. Odd bookings to defend, random company hiatus, the rare independent event OCW allows a title to be defended on. Not to take away from Harmon Egan who is blazing his own Craze title path right now. But a man like Crash thrives on the next challenge and I hear he’s eye the hell out of the OCW Paradigm Championship.
TKM: Totally. CAP SLOCK was telling me the belt gets eyed so much it has filed a harassment complaint against Crash. Since I am a fan of Mr. Pohl and, of course, Crashy-Rashy!
Victoria Strader: Crashy-Rashy?
TKM: Oh shit, yeah, don’t use that on air, please. It was a bad one, and doctor/patient and all.
~ Victoria brings her fist to cover the cough of stifled laughter.~
Victoria Strader: Ok, Knifey. No problem. Moving along, though, Crash has already beaten her, and you can be sure he believes he can do it again.
TKM: It Should be an excellent match, and whoever wins, we know the OCW Faithful wins in the end!
~We cut to a shot of the arena's boiler room, where we see The Nickleman gripping his barbed-wire baseball bat. He's tapping it slowly against an orange water heater as the camera slowly zooms in on The Nickleman's surroundings. We see the corpse of a desecrated owl swinging from a rope attached to the ceiling. We see a half-empty bottle of Fireball Whiskey just sitting on the ground, propped up against the wall. We see a bloody flagpole tucked away in the corner of the room.~
The Nickleman: It's been a long time since I killed a man in that ring.....a long time coming!
~The Nickleman smacks his bat against the water heater, causing a sudden clanging to ring out through the boiler room.~
The Nickleman: Sometimes, this business is about way more than fucking groupie bitches and winning championship gold....sometimes, THIS BUSINESS GETS PERSONAL!
~The Nickleman turns around and completely destroys the dead owl with the baseball bat, hitting a homerun as the owl flies off the rope and slams into the far wall. The Nickleman turns back to the camera with a deviant grin.~
The Nickleman: And the things that have been said, and done between me and the Big Bitchford....are very, very personal. So I'll be sure to come out and see him again real soon, so that he doesn't forget what a little BITCH he really is underneath all that whale blubber!
~The Nickleman walks over to his whiskey bottle and takes a swig of it as he continues to hold his bat in hand.~
The Nickleman: Cause I'm The Nickleman.....and Bitchford? I'M STILL COMING TO GET YOU!
~We cut to backstage, where we find Jacki O'Lantern standing in front of the snack machine. She is not scheduled to compete, but that didn't stop her from wearing her ring gear throughout the show. Anyway, she pushes the button of her selection and a bag of Goldfish drops. She bends down to pick it up, then once it was in her hands she tears into the bag and starts eating it while she decides to walk around to see what kind of shenanigans she can involve herself with this time. She walks past catering to see possible future OCW World Champ Mike Zybala picking food out of the buffet style line. He looks disappointed at the fish selection. Jacki decides to go over and introduce herself. She walks over and gets in line next to Zybala. Zybala sees her out of his peripheral vision and turns to look.~
Zybala: Hey, you that new lady, right? Jacki…. Pumpkins??
~She laughs and extends her hand out to him.~
Jacki O’Lantern: “Jacki O'Lantern, although Jacki Pumpkins seems pretty sweet too. I know who you are, you're Mike Zybala. Nice to meet you, Mike. How long have you been here?”
~Jacki looks at him with curiosity. She was very much a people person and could easily make friends anywhere if she tried. Zybala smiles and shakes her hand.~
Zybala: Oh, I'd say about 5 and a half years. It's been quite the journey. I've been just about everything under the sun here. Commissioner, General Manager, a champion, contender, Owner, OCW Survivor winner. I've had a weird, wonderful career. Oh! And I am the owner and promoter of Outsiders! The proud sister company of OCW. You should check it out.
~Zybala seems to puff his chest out a little while saying this. He truly is proud of his creation.~
Jacki O’Lantern: “That's impressive, bud. You must be proud of yourself to be able to accomplish all that yet still have the passion to be here today, and for that I respect. Who knows, maybe one day you and I will get to share the same ring together for the first time. I don't know about you, but to me, that is one cool vision.”
~She nudges him on the arm as the line starts to move. Zybala moves down the line and picks up a taco shell and drops it on his plate. He loads it with beef and cheese and salsa.~
Zybala: It would be cool. But that all depends on if I win the world title at Hardwired to Self Destruct. If I lose, I will be retiring from the in ring action…
~Jacki frowns, not expecting to hear the news of him potentially retiring. She grabs a piece of pumpkin pie and goes to sit with him. Before she digs into her pie, she looks at him, hoping she could help change his mind.~
Jacki O’Lantern: “What made you consider retiring? I'm sure there are more goals you must still want to accomplish.”
Zybala: That's the thing. I really don't have any more goals. I've been a champion everywhere I've gone. I'm a Hall of Famer in other companies and pretty sure that I'm gonna be one here when I hang up the boots. I would like to finally win the OCW World title, but if I can't win it this time, I'd still be content with my legacy. The only thing that's left is to steer the new talent like you in the right direction. After almost 20 years in this business, I've done and seen all. Unlike most of my peers, I'm happy to let the next generation have their time in the spotlight. Being the staff member who gives out advice seems to be the next natural career step.
~Zybala gives a knowing nod at Jacki. She grabs her fork and digs into her pie, understanding his reasons.~
Jacki O’Lantern: “Completely understandable. I'm sure if I was in your position, I'd probably do the same and for that I respect your decision. I know we just met, but if you ever need anything, you can always lean on me to help. Speaking of which, since I've only had one match so far, you got any advice for ol' pumpkin going forward?”
Zybala: Don't let anyone else dictate who you are. Your gimmick, your style, any of it. This business can break people down emotionally as well as physically. You can handle the emotional stuff if you stay true to yourself. That's the best way to be proud of your career. Do it your way, no matter what. That's what I did, and I am proud of everything I've done.
~Zybala bites into his taco before it gets cold.~
Jacki O’Lantern: “Thank you for the advice, bud. I will definitely keep this in mind. Anything that can help me, I'll be sure to use. For now, I have to go, but nice talk and nice meeting you.”
~She leans over the table and gives him a big, friendly hug before leaving him to finish eating.~
~We return to the studio after a quick shot inside the arena, where we see happy OCW Faithful, probably because of the drug use and scattered fellatio. The Knife Man taps his 8x10 stack of white papers like he is some sort of professional news anchor.~
Victoria Strader: The next match, Knifey, I would be lying if I thought it would be possible. When I booked the Rumble in the Bronx, I was taking a big leap and chance that people would come out for it. We had over 20 participants with less than a month to promote and some of the big names we got to throw their proverbial hats in the ring… but this one might have been the biggest.
TKM: Yes ma’am, when Scott Syren’s music hit and he came down, you know Marcus Welsh was impressed and probably proud of you.
Victoria Strader: That’s Veronica. I know it’s hard to understand and comprehend we are our own people that can do separate things miles and kilometres apart.
TKM: Right right, I was there when you both came out of the Potty on Milftown Island. I keep forgetting that.
Victoria Strader: I think everyone has some form of PTSD from that whole experience. It's how we ended in this overdone ownership angle.
TKM: Kayfabe, ma’am.
~Victoria nods, and they both touch their noses while nodding at one another.~
Victoria Strader: Of course, Syren wasn’t too happy about Donovan eliminating him in the Rumble and, in turn, helped The Big Bifford win it all. But his elimination spot gained him a shot at a championship that has been elevated to new heights this last year.
TKM: Started with Tamika Strader on March 27th and has continued since October 23rd with Harmon Egan, who looks to have a greater run than her.
Victoria Strader: That’s very true, Knifey. With joining The Brotherhood of Bastards, and I would say something about the recent alliance with Thaddeus Duke, but that is as useful as a fat bastard who creepily tries to slide into DMs now that OCW is up for sale. Also, he is smart enough not to be demanding title shots for other singles titles, especially as he already has one to be concerned with, and I have stated very clearly no singles champion shall receive any shot for another; there will be no monopolies. Plus, all OCW title matches are earned in matches that are for contendership. I would hope he wouldn’t do anything silly like start demanding things.
TKM: One would hope not. Harmon is a dangerous Craze champion, and add on Corey Smith coming over to be by his side now, giving Harmon his expertise… he could hold onto the Craze title for the foreseeable future.
~"The Day Is MY Enemy" hits the speakers to a sizable pop from the crowd. Harmon Egan steps out first, wearing a smile which is somewhat uncharacteristic of him. Clearly he appreciates the fan accolades. He hoists the Craze Championship over his head before staring to walk down the aisle. Then, his manager Corey Smith explodes out of the back, half tackling Harmon from behind and clapping him on the shoulder before racing ahead and rolling in the ring. Harmon follows suit and the crowd draws to a hush as Corey grabs a mic from ringside.~
Corey: Hello, hello, hellllooooo good people of OCW. My name is Corey Smith and the man by my side (if you've been under a rock for a hot minute) is Harmon Egan. And folks, I got a question for you. Who here is ready to watch Harmon thrash Scott Syren?
~This draws another pop from the audience. Harmon, still smiling nods his head and leaps up to the middle turnbuckle pointing at the crowd before jumping down.~
Corey: Yeah me too. Me too. But I also have a confession to make. And Harmon, please don't take any offense to this.
~Harmon looks at Corey strangely.~
Corey: But there is a teeny ting Itty bitty part of me that would…hmmmm…like you to lose the Craze Championship.
~Corey winces and the crowd responds in confusion. Harmon makes an over the top show of looking offended. Clearly this was rehearsed.~
Corey: Let me explain! Please! Look man, I know you've said before you want to make the Craze division the talk of the town. And that you intend to defend that title more than any other championship held by soft bitches like Pic and Sahara.
~Corey shoots the crowd a cheeky smile in response to the mixed reaction.~
Corey: But here's the thing Harmon. And I'm sorry to say it. But you're ABOVE that title. You're ABOVE that division. And I think everybody and their mother knows it. You are undoubtedly OCW rookie of the year. You've never fought professionally in your life and are sitting at 11 and 0. That's four more undefeated wins than Killa Kali had when he was world champion. Are you seeing where I'm going with this?
~Corey pauses and places a hand on Harmon’s shoulder.~
Corey: Leo was wrong. There is one and only one name that should be on everyone's lips when we're talking world title contention, and that is you. So, to Strader or whoever is in charge of OCW this week…I hear by DEMAND my client gets a world title shot at the first pay per view of the new year. Whether he's still Craze Champion or not. We both know this man is money. And most of all, we both know this man deserves it.
~Harmon hangs his head, seeming a little embarrassed by the praise. Corey steps away from Harmon and looks up the ramp.~
Corey: I don't even need an answer tonight. But soon. Real soon. That is, if you know what's good for business.
~Corey drops the mic and shoots a coy challenging glance at the camera as Harmon’s music hits again. Harmon again plays to the crowd, holding up title aloft and slapping it before he and Corey head for the back.~
~We return again as the two seem to be having an intimate conversation as we see Knifey wipe a tear from his masked eye. He shoos the camera over to Victoria Strader.~
Victoria Strader: Well, I guess I was wrong about entitlement; those two are in for a rude awakening. Oh, don’t mind Knifey; he needs a moment. Unfortunately, as PROUD and STRONG as the OCW roster is, I’m not exactly swimming in tag teams, which really sucks when you have tag team champions. In October, The Nickleman and Thunder Knuckles, under the BOB banner, won the OCW Tag Team Championships from OCW main stays Sons of Krayzie and basically retired in the same one fell swoop. Now just like the Champions before, I decided to allow them “Freebird Rules” where any member of the stable can defend the titles. We saw it last month at the Rumble when we saw the OCW Champion PIC and The Lost Sous challenge the most famous combination of BOB of Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles as Them No good Bastards. Bourbon, although not victorious tonight, knows all about winning tag team matches, especially when Thunder Knuckles was at his side.
TKM: Okay, I am composed. That’s right, Vee. Thunder Knuckles is very adamant he wants a shot at PIC, or whoever is the OCW Champion as of January 1st, 2023, and Bobby helped soften PIC up with a wrench in The Bronx.
Victoria Strader: BOB got their shot because there were no contenders. Then PIC and TLS challenged for their shot. I had hoped we would have a team which I tried to sneakily do, giving the fourth and fifth left in the Rumble Tag Title shots, but The Lost Soul became super lost in the PORTAL POTTY but has the greatest cell service if you are on social media, and Solomon Cain killed my sister's boyfriend, first-ever three-time OCW Champion and recent inductee into the Hall of Fame, so he was arrested. One would say, why not Tearra Skye and Nikki Walker? Well, unfortunately, outside issues have come into play, and we weren’t able to take the opportunity. So I looked outside of the company until I found a team so out of the box; I am surprised there hasn’t been cyberbullying in my direction for my decision, but they had to sign contracts to work for OCW, so maybe that’s why. Who knows?
TKM: Who does know? Well, on behalf of myself, Machete Phil, Eddy Bueger, CAP SLOCK, Knux, Max and the catering for increasing the budget to accommodate Sahara’s shrimp addiction and Miss Baumer's Fish and Chip's request, we all love you.
~Victoria tilts her and gives a funny smile to Knifey, waving his comment away.~
Victoria Strader: You know how to make a girl feel special, Knifey. But yes, I found the team of Desdemona Luciana and Phoenix Lestrange known as HaVeN! After making waves in a place that isn’t as nearly CLASSIC OCW, BABY as OCW is, I knew they were waiting for a place to take a chance on them. I can promise you, Knifey, that Them No God Bastards have no what’s coming at them while HaVeN knows what is coming at them with the kind of infamy and asshole-notoriety the Bastards have. Vegas or Cheasy might have the Bastards with the best overall, but I know HaVeN would make someone like Mike Zybala money if he had any sportsbucks to his name. My Aunt isn’t here to enable his gambling addiction.
TKM: That is very true. The next match, boss… that’s gonna be a SLOBBERKNOCKER!
WHAT THE FUCK IS BOXING DAY?THIS IS ‘MURICA!
HEY SYNN I HAVE SOME ALMONDS FOR YA
DID WELSH DIE? IS HE A QUALITY CHICKEN SANDWICH?
POONLIGHT TOES
SEND FEET PICS
YOU SUCK DONKEY BALLS OCW RADIO
