BREAKING: Danny B Re-Signs with OCW; Will Face PerZag at Revenge
HUGE news out of OCW head quarters JUST NOW as "Ripper" Danny B has officially re-signed with Online Championship Wrestling and will be competing at Revenge!!
He won't be competing in just any match at Revenge, the current Hall of Famer and former OCW Central Champion will be squaring off against PerZag for the Savage Championship in a House of Mirrors Match.
"Damn straight, sucka! Danny B is coming back to OCW, we hammered out the deals last night and decided to announce the deal this afternoon," Dean informed us as he was about to board his private jet to Las Vegas. "He will be facing PerZag in a House of Mirrors match for the Savage Championship. Last year, the House of Mirrors match culminated our return Pay Per View, Resurrection, so it's only fair we give the fans an encore presentation at this year's Revenge. Great way of introducing the Savage championship, eh sucka?"
I don't know why Dean decided to go all Canadian with that final sucka, but he did. Regardles, all of that is besides the point. What really matters is that Danny B is back in OCW, bolstering the roster with a huge shot of adrenaline.
In 2014, Danny B made as big an impact in OCW as any other competitor who entered an OCW ring. He won the OCW Central Championship, had a dominating reign as OCW Tag Team Champions with Amber Ryan, was the only wrestler successful in cashing their 'Oh Shit' Contract in, won Face of the year and found himself inducted into the Hall of Fame.
That, my friends, was a year for the ages.
What does 2015 have in store for Danny B? Stay tuned as it all begins, again, at Revenge.
He won't be competing in just any match at Revenge, the current Hall of Famer and former OCW Central Champion will be squaring off against PerZag for the Savage Championship in a House of Mirrors Match.
"Damn straight, sucka! Danny B is coming back to OCW, we hammered out the deals last night and decided to announce the deal this afternoon," Dean informed us as he was about to board his private jet to Las Vegas. "He will be facing PerZag in a House of Mirrors match for the Savage Championship. Last year, the House of Mirrors match culminated our return Pay Per View, Resurrection, so it's only fair we give the fans an encore presentation at this year's Revenge. Great way of introducing the Savage championship, eh sucka?"
I don't know why Dean decided to go all Canadian with that final sucka, but he did. Regardles, all of that is besides the point. What really matters is that Danny B is back in OCW, bolstering the roster with a huge shot of adrenaline.
In 2014, Danny B made as big an impact in OCW as any other competitor who entered an OCW ring. He won the OCW Central Championship, had a dominating reign as OCW Tag Team Champions with Amber Ryan, was the only wrestler successful in cashing their 'Oh Shit' Contract in, won Face of the year and found himself inducted into the Hall of Fame.
That, my friends, was a year for the ages.
What does 2015 have in store for Danny B? Stay tuned as it all begins, again, at Revenge.
President Dean meeting with Lurrr and Mario Maurako in Vegas for Super Bowl Weekend
We have received confirmed reports that OCW President Dean is flying out to Las Vegas this evening for a meeting with OCW Hall of Famers Lurrr and Mario Maurako. What this meeting entails is unknown at this time.
"It is true, President Dean will be in Vegas until Monday evening and, yes, Lurrr and Maurako will be there with him. Any other details cannot be released at this time."
That, above, is the official statement from OCW Headquarters. Now, we all know Lurrr is signed on for the 2015 OCW run, but Maurako's inclusion comes as a huge shock to the wrestling community.
The last time OCW saw Maurako, he was being hauled away in a mobster's trunk. Nobody knew whether he was alive or dead...until now. So, I guess, it's great news to find out if he's alive...but, it could be even better news. Is Maurako soon to return? Or, is he simply in Vegas to get drunk and lose a bunch of money at the casinos?
As more details become available, they will be released. Also, expect a MAJOR announcement sometime early this afternoon.
"It is true, President Dean will be in Vegas until Monday evening and, yes, Lurrr and Maurako will be there with him. Any other details cannot be released at this time."
That, above, is the official statement from OCW Headquarters. Now, we all know Lurrr is signed on for the 2015 OCW run, but Maurako's inclusion comes as a huge shock to the wrestling community.
The last time OCW saw Maurako, he was being hauled away in a mobster's trunk. Nobody knew whether he was alive or dead...until now. So, I guess, it's great news to find out if he's alive...but, it could be even better news. Is Maurako soon to return? Or, is he simply in Vegas to get drunk and lose a bunch of money at the casinos?
As more details become available, they will be released. Also, expect a MAJOR announcement sometime early this afternoon.
Awe.Some Attempts to Hype their Tag Title Match at Revenge against ItsuPuma
You hear crowd chants: OH SEE DUBYA! OH SEE DUBYA!
A New Legacy To Be Had...
OH SEE DUBYA! OH SEE DUBYA!
Two teams...
Various shots of Itsumade and Puma rapidly fill your screen.
Various shots of Ricky and Randy applying hair gel fill your screen.
Two Choices...
You hear President Dean's voice echo:
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
One Obstacle...
Cut to a empty room where a single rope hangs dramatically from the ceiling to the floor. The shot zooms in slowly THEN QUICLY FOCUSES ON THE TOP OF THE ROPE then backs away slowly LIGHTNING STRIKE!
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
A New Legacy To Be Had...
OH SEE DUBYA! OH SEE DUBYA!
Two teams...
Various shots of Itsumade and Puma rapidly fill your screen.
Various shots of Ricky and Randy applying hair gel fill your screen.
Two Choices...
You hear President Dean's voice echo:
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
"Gemini... or Twinsies."
One Obstacle...
Cut to a empty room where a single rope hangs dramatically from the ceiling to the floor. The shot zooms in slowly THEN QUICLY FOCUSES ON THE TOP OF THE ROPE then backs away slowly LIGHTNING STRIKE!
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
Ricky and Randy Valdez are now standing by the rope looking super excited.
"Hey what's up everybody? Ricky Valdez here!"
"Randy Valdez too!"
"Come watch OCW history be made on February 29th!"
"Wrong date, Ricky."
-BOOP!-
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
"Hey what's up everybody? Ricky Valdez here!"
"Randy Valdez too!"
"Come watch OCW history be made on February 29th!"
"Wrong date, Ricky."
-BOOP!-
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
"Hey what's up everybody? Randy Valdez here!"
"Ricky Valdez too!"
"I got our names backwards, didn't I?"
"Yep. I was totally gonna roll with it though."
-BOOP!-
"Hey what's up everybody? Randy Valdez... damnit!"
"Pffthaha."
"Ugh. Okay different approach."
-BOOP!-
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
"Ricky Valdez too!"
"I got our names backwards, didn't I?"
"Yep. I was totally gonna roll with it though."
-BOOP!-
"Hey what's up everybody? Randy Valdez... damnit!"
"Pffthaha."
"Ugh. Okay different approach."
-BOOP!-
Flicker-
Flicker-
Flicker to-
Randy is rocking an all yellow attire complete with doorag and an obviously fake blonde mustache.
"Well ya know something Brother Love, lemme tell ya something dude! I was sittin' at home, lifting full body cars, doing my part to end world hunger for all the little Awe.Somaniacs throughout the world when I got a phone call! It's gonna be Revenge, dude! WHATCHA GONNA DO ITSUPUMA WHEN THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS PART THE OCEAN ON THE BRAZILIAN COAST TO RUN-"
-BOOP!-
Ricky and Randy are wearing DX shirts.
"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages. Awe.Some is proud to bring to you! The very next! OCW! TAG TEAM CHAAAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!
-BOOP!-
Shirtless Randy flexing.
"Oh my brother! Testify!!!!"
-BOOP!-
Ricky Valdez is wearing some chainmail on his head.
"You see Imma break it down like this for my freaks out there. When your wife needs to be properly satisfied, she comes to the Genetic Freak Ricky Valdez. She don't wanna come home at night to some FATASS! The Big Bad Awe.Some Daddy is here to show all the FATASSES of this company-"
-BOOP!-
"Weren't feeling any of that?"
inaudible off-camera voice.
"C'mon that last one was fun!"
More inaudible off-camera voice.
"Fine let's just go back to the script."
"Well ya know something Brother Love, lemme tell ya something dude! I was sittin' at home, lifting full body cars, doing my part to end world hunger for all the little Awe.Somaniacs throughout the world when I got a phone call! It's gonna be Revenge, dude! WHATCHA GONNA DO ITSUPUMA WHEN THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS PART THE OCEAN ON THE BRAZILIAN COAST TO RUN-"
-BOOP!-
Ricky and Randy are wearing DX shirts.
"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages. Awe.Some is proud to bring to you! The very next! OCW! TAG TEAM CHAAAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!
-BOOP!-
Shirtless Randy flexing.
"Oh my brother! Testify!!!!"
-BOOP!-
Ricky Valdez is wearing some chainmail on his head.
"You see Imma break it down like this for my freaks out there. When your wife needs to be properly satisfied, she comes to the Genetic Freak Ricky Valdez. She don't wanna come home at night to some FATASS! The Big Bad Awe.Some Daddy is here to show all the FATASSES of this company-"
-BOOP!-
"Weren't feeling any of that?"
inaudible off-camera voice.
"C'mon that last one was fun!"
More inaudible off-camera voice.
"Fine let's just go back to the script."
Tatum Coe Announced as Alice Knight's Opponent for the Paradigm Championship
We've all been expecting it, however, until something is officially announced, nothing is certain. Moments ago, Online Championship Wrestling issued a press release naming Tatum Coe as the person who will face Alice Knight for the OCW Paradigm Championship.
"Tatum Coe, arguably the greatest Lightweight Champion in OCW history and a two time Last Man Standing Runner up will face Hall of Famer Alice Knight for the Paradigm Championship. These two will compete in a 'Reverse Finisher' Match where, in order to win, a participant must defeat their opponent with their own finishing maneuver."
The Paradigm Championship is a title designed for traditional wrestling and supreme athletes. The rules in place for this match will definitely go a long way and setting the bar high as defeating your opponent with their finisher is the ultimate in squared circle prowess.
Neither Coe nor Knight could be reached for comment at this time. While Tatum Coe is vastly unknown to this era of OCW fans, it cannot be stressed enough how vital he was to OCW's initial success all those years ago. Tatum Coe was a cornerstone for OCW, helping the promotion rise above all the other average organizations, establishing itself as one of the top brands in the industry.
Alice Knight needs no hype, every OCW fan is aware of her accomplishments one year ago. She impacted OCW in the very same way legends such as Syren, Bifford, Silverfreak and El Linchador impacted the organization. She is unique, charismatic and, above all else, supremely talented. This match may, very well steal the show at Revenge.
I've also been told OCW has secured several signings today, all of whom will compete in the 'Oh Shit' Contract Match. Those names will be released very soon. Also, tomorrow, expect a huge announcement as PerZag's opponent will be revealed and, that announcement will complete the Revenge booking process as OCW finally begins it's 2015 run.
Stay tuned to the OCW news line for any and all updates.
"Tatum Coe, arguably the greatest Lightweight Champion in OCW history and a two time Last Man Standing Runner up will face Hall of Famer Alice Knight for the Paradigm Championship. These two will compete in a 'Reverse Finisher' Match where, in order to win, a participant must defeat their opponent with their own finishing maneuver."
The Paradigm Championship is a title designed for traditional wrestling and supreme athletes. The rules in place for this match will definitely go a long way and setting the bar high as defeating your opponent with their finisher is the ultimate in squared circle prowess.
Neither Coe nor Knight could be reached for comment at this time. While Tatum Coe is vastly unknown to this era of OCW fans, it cannot be stressed enough how vital he was to OCW's initial success all those years ago. Tatum Coe was a cornerstone for OCW, helping the promotion rise above all the other average organizations, establishing itself as one of the top brands in the industry.
Alice Knight needs no hype, every OCW fan is aware of her accomplishments one year ago. She impacted OCW in the very same way legends such as Syren, Bifford, Silverfreak and El Linchador impacted the organization. She is unique, charismatic and, above all else, supremely talented. This match may, very well steal the show at Revenge.
I've also been told OCW has secured several signings today, all of whom will compete in the 'Oh Shit' Contract Match. Those names will be released very soon. Also, tomorrow, expect a huge announcement as PerZag's opponent will be revealed and, that announcement will complete the Revenge booking process as OCW finally begins it's 2015 run.
Stay tuned to the OCW news line for any and all updates.
Treat Cassidy Gives a Statement
It's been about six months since Treat Cassidy took over ownership of the OCW from President Dean - now that Dean is back and fully captaining his ship, Cassidy is still employed by OCW but in a much lesser roll. He's not president, not vice president, hell he isn't even a staff member. Some seem to think he doesn't like his current situation, but those close to him say it's nothing farther from the truth. Treat Cassidy is thriving in the stress free careless demeanor he currently lives in.
Even though he's taken major steps back from owning and maintaining OCW and all the egos that comes with such territory, Cassidy is still of sound wrestling mind; and looks to make the best deals for his clients. He feels like he is owed some sort of dues that President Dean either is ignoring, or simply does not want to give.
A press conference was held earlier this morning in Cassidy's native Miami about the current state of Online Championship Wrestling and the rumors floating around. Here are some snippets of said press conference.
"I want nothing more than to see OCW succeed as a company. I had fun while in the driver's seat last summer, but I did not enjoy the headaches. I heard Rippercast last week and let's just say I was less than impressed with what Danny B says, as always. Me bankrupting the company is to him should of winning the OCW championship at Genesis back in July. He got beat fair and square. What he should look at is the butts I put into seats because of that one show. I put the promotion on a much different level than Dean. Maybe not higher level, but definitely a much different one."
"Under my leadership we saw new superstars emerge and thrive. We saw the entire roster being flown to Jerusalem for a PPV, we saw Bob Grenier nearly put his life on the line in a Internet championship on a cross match. Granted, it put us in the red as a whole, but if Danny B wants to point fingers, he should point it right back at himself with his over inflated ego and his finger nails on chalk board british accent. And, while he's at it, tell him to call up his home boy Jack Kenny, who was my equal during the entire situation. So Danny - save it. OCW doesn't need you, nor will it ever. Ink the contract, don't ink it - but the fact remains nobody cares, nobody has, and nobody will."
"While I am on the topic of Danny B, it was miss MJ Bell who defeated him and PerZag at the aforementioned PPV to win the OCW title. The same MJ Bell who just became enshrined into the Hall of Fame along with my personal favorite, Alice Knight. Not to sound like an egotistical pig, but it was my brain and my ideas to get them there. It was me who called Alice up, got her on a plane and back into OCW. It was me who paid MJ Bell, making her contract the most lucrative for her to leave Boardwalk to return to OCW. It was also I whom pushed Bob Grenier to the moon where he could live up to his true potential of greatness, shattering that thick headed pot smoking idiotic behavior and leaving it his wake of supremacy. ...It was me, who enshrined President Dean into his own promotion! Heck, our current World champion, Mack O'Connor is one of my clients!"
"What do I want? Nothing. Nothing but a little freaken acknowledgement. Am I bitter? Absolutely not. I feel as though I should be atleast freaken nominated for a Hall of fame position, my legacy as leader needs to be credited, and I am feeling like the substitute teacher whom nobody respects. Dean will hear of all this and he will chuckle. He will continue to do Dean without a care in the world except for himself. That's fine, that's Dean and I respect who he is, even though he has no respect for me. At Revenge, if I do not receive a Hall of fame nomination, I will be the one exacting revenge."
"Ohhhh, but Treat your so small, you talk so eloquently, you don't ever cuss, you wear $5,000 suits, how do you expect to intimidate these folks?" I don't. I have people for that. So, consider this a promissory note."
Even though he's taken major steps back from owning and maintaining OCW and all the egos that comes with such territory, Cassidy is still of sound wrestling mind; and looks to make the best deals for his clients. He feels like he is owed some sort of dues that President Dean either is ignoring, or simply does not want to give.
A press conference was held earlier this morning in Cassidy's native Miami about the current state of Online Championship Wrestling and the rumors floating around. Here are some snippets of said press conference.
"I want nothing more than to see OCW succeed as a company. I had fun while in the driver's seat last summer, but I did not enjoy the headaches. I heard Rippercast last week and let's just say I was less than impressed with what Danny B says, as always. Me bankrupting the company is to him should of winning the OCW championship at Genesis back in July. He got beat fair and square. What he should look at is the butts I put into seats because of that one show. I put the promotion on a much different level than Dean. Maybe not higher level, but definitely a much different one."
"Under my leadership we saw new superstars emerge and thrive. We saw the entire roster being flown to Jerusalem for a PPV, we saw Bob Grenier nearly put his life on the line in a Internet championship on a cross match. Granted, it put us in the red as a whole, but if Danny B wants to point fingers, he should point it right back at himself with his over inflated ego and his finger nails on chalk board british accent. And, while he's at it, tell him to call up his home boy Jack Kenny, who was my equal during the entire situation. So Danny - save it. OCW doesn't need you, nor will it ever. Ink the contract, don't ink it - but the fact remains nobody cares, nobody has, and nobody will."
"While I am on the topic of Danny B, it was miss MJ Bell who defeated him and PerZag at the aforementioned PPV to win the OCW title. The same MJ Bell who just became enshrined into the Hall of Fame along with my personal favorite, Alice Knight. Not to sound like an egotistical pig, but it was my brain and my ideas to get them there. It was me who called Alice up, got her on a plane and back into OCW. It was me who paid MJ Bell, making her contract the most lucrative for her to leave Boardwalk to return to OCW. It was also I whom pushed Bob Grenier to the moon where he could live up to his true potential of greatness, shattering that thick headed pot smoking idiotic behavior and leaving it his wake of supremacy. ...It was me, who enshrined President Dean into his own promotion! Heck, our current World champion, Mack O'Connor is one of my clients!"
"What do I want? Nothing. Nothing but a little freaken acknowledgement. Am I bitter? Absolutely not. I feel as though I should be atleast freaken nominated for a Hall of fame position, my legacy as leader needs to be credited, and I am feeling like the substitute teacher whom nobody respects. Dean will hear of all this and he will chuckle. He will continue to do Dean without a care in the world except for himself. That's fine, that's Dean and I respect who he is, even though he has no respect for me. At Revenge, if I do not receive a Hall of fame nomination, I will be the one exacting revenge."
"Ohhhh, but Treat your so small, you talk so eloquently, you don't ever cuss, you wear $5,000 suits, how do you expect to intimidate these folks?" I don't. I have people for that. So, consider this a promissory note."
President Dean's Weekly Press Conference
~Our cameras cut to the OCW Press Room where President Dean is standing behind his podium with an ice cold bottle of “Sucka! Mountain Fresh Water”. He takes a sip, followed by a satisfied grin~
President Dean: Alright, suckas, let’s get this Press Conference going. First of all, to address the earlier news story concerning Ian Bishop and his failed physical...it is true, Ian has, indeed, failed the concussion portion of his physical examination and, therefore, will be unable to compete at Revenge.
Question 1: Mr. Dean, does this mean Ian has signed with OCW?
President Dean: As of this time, Ian Bishop is not signed with Online Championship Wrestling. We don’t sign crippled people.
Question 2: Who is going to face Lurrr at Revenge?
President Dean: I’m glad you asked that, Dr. Shaidee got back with me this afternoon with tremendous news. It appears Big Bifford either hit Weight Watchers really hard or began purging something fierce, because he has his weight down to a sufficient limit and passed a second physical this afternoon. So, at Revenge it will be The Big Bifford challenging Lurrr for the Hall of Fame Championship.
~The press room is abuzz after this huge announcement~
Question 3: Mr. Dean, will there be any type of stipulation for this match?
President Dean: Excellent question and, yes, there will be. With every Hall of Fame Championship match, OCW brass will look to a gimmick match one of the two competitors famously endured at some point in their career. For this match, I decided to look back to No Limits from July of 2000. Lurrr defeated Shane Thunder in a Dumpster Match to become Intercontinental Champion. So, Lurrr will be taking on The Big Bifford in a Dumpster Match at Revenge.
Question 4: Don’t you think that puts Lurrr at a, no pun intended, sizable disadvantage?
President Dean: A true champion can rise above and beyond any and every obstacle.
Question 5: Sir, I’d like to touch on yesterday’s huge announcement. What do the signings of Ashe Dawson and The Lost Soul mean for OCW and how do you think they will perform in their Three Stages of Escalation match?
President Dean: Ashe Dawson was a huge pickup. He was on the verge of something special last year before OCW had to temporarily close its doors and wipe the slate clean. To have him back is a very big deal. The Lost Soul...people forget how good this guy really is. He’s a Hall of Famer in several other federations...an all time force in this industry. Sadly, he didn’t have the opportunity to display his immense talents last year in OCW...that’s a problem I believe he’ll be able to remedy this go around. As for the three stages of escalation, we believe that this is a match which will become a fixture in OCW from this point forward. I mean, what better way to prove you have defeated your opponent? You start off with a pinfall...okay, sure, anyone can win with a cheap roll up or small package. Then comes the submission, far harder. I doubt any of you have every competed inside a squared circle, but making an opponent submit is no easy task. Finally, if it comes to this, the third and final fall...a last man standing. This is the ultimate way to defeat your opponent. A great way to put a stamp on an impressive victory and announce your ascension amongst the OCW roster.
Question 6: El Presidente, any word on PerZag’s assault?
President Dean: We have a pretty good idea who perpetrated the act and it is currently being dealt with internally.
Question 7: What about his opponent for Revenge? Any idea on who that person may be?
President Dean: That will be announced on Friday. The ink is drying on the contract, everything is set...we just want to wait until Friday to let the world know who PerZag is facing and in what type of match.
Question 8: Does the name Claire Graves mean anything to you?
President Dean: Not a clue...next?
Question 9: Are there any current plans to add an additional competitor to the Oh Shit Contract match or is it going to remain a one on one contest between Ryan Smith and Captain Canada?
President Dean: We are looking at adding at least one more competitor, yes. Ryan Smith actually poked his head into the OCW offices yesterday, so that was nice to see. Captain Canada, who the hell knows where he’s at...
Question 10: So, you just book cards and matches without being assured guys will show up?
President Dean: Can someone see that douche bag out of the room, with excessive force?
~Some security drag Question 10 guy away, twisting his arms with a double, MEGA WICKED Indian Sunburn. He screams loudly~
President Dean: Next?
Question 11: Huge news last week with the signing of Alice Knight...I think everyone in this room can agree we are glad to have her back in OCW.
~The press room begins to cheer and clap. Dean yells~
President Dean: I WILL HAVE ORDER IN MY PRESS ROOM!!
~They all quiet down~
President Dean: Thank you...geez, how about a little professionalism? But, yes, that was a major signature, we are glad to have the peculiar Alice Knight back in OCW.
Question 12: Any idea who her opponent may be? I mean, it has almost been a week since she was placed in the Paradigm Title Match.
President Dean: That, along with the match stipulation, will be announced tomorrow.
Question 13: Is it going to be Tatum Coe? His absence is glaring...
President Dean: Mayyybe...or maybe it will be Jack ‘The Big Fat Taco Eater’ Jacobs.
Question 14: Is Mr. Jacobs an all-arounder or strictly a brawler?
President Dean: Excessively escort that sucka out!
~Again, the security team indian sunburn a guy out of the press room, this time Question 14 guy. He, too, screams loudly~
Question 15: Mr. Dean, the tag team match against ItsuPuma and Awe.Some...it’s going to be a Climb the Rope Match...who came up with that concept?
President Dean: I did, when I looked at the match up, I kept thinking ‘ladder match’...but, ya know, we’ve done so many ladder matches, I kept telling myself there was something different we could do which would have the same type of effect. I just had to come up with it and that’s when I remembered climbing the rope in my high school gym classes. To me, it’s the perfect concept. Climbing a rope is way harder than a ladder and, plus, you can do some interesting damage to your opponents with a rope. Toss in some extremely athletic competitors like Itsumade and the Valdez Brothers and, sucka, that match could steal the show.
Question 16: What about the issues with Tatum Coe and Awe.Some...or, most notably, Rachel Valdez?
President Dean: I am not a damn babysitter...I can’t help what goes on between my wrestlers when they are away from OCW Headquarters. Obviously, the Valdez siblings and Tatum don’t see eye to eye on, well, several things. It could, potentially, be an issue that leads to some kind of in ring altercation down the line.
Question 17: What about the rumors that Clubbin Man has been selling drugs to kids in Ethiopia?
President Dean: Get the fuck out of here.
~Question 17 guy skulks away~
Question 18: About Claire Graves, I hear she is a very powerful attorney from New York...ring a bell? She’s blonde.
President Dean: Oh, you mean she’s blonde??? Well, then that clears up everything, doesn’t it?
~Dean deadpans the Question 18 guy~
President Dean: Get him out of here.
~He, too, is Indian Sunburned away, screaming~
Question 19: For everyone in here who listened to Rippercast, Danny B made mention that he was curious to see who Mack O’Connor’s opponent would be. Is that something that’s going to be announced soon or is it the winner of Grenier/Vargas...I’m confused.
President Dean: Finally, a legitimate question. The winner of Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas will take on Mack O’Connor for the OCW Title in the Main Event of Revenge.
Question 20: Last week, we saw some Plexiglas structure being built in the OCW warehouse...care to give us any hints as to what that is?
President Dean: That will be announced soon...I can’t give you guys everything all at once, ya know? Having said that, the structure will be used at Revenge.
Question 21: What about Treat Cassidy and the rumors he’s bringing others into OCW?
President Dean: Treat is a highly accomplished manager with a ton of connections. Anybody he is looking to bring into OCW would have to be cleared through my office, first, before ever debuting. As long as we’re all on the same page, I don’t see why any of the names he’s mentioned couldn’t be a possibility.
Question 22: Nobody has heard from Mack O’Connor...is he doing okay?
President Dean: Mack is fine, just enjoying the life of a champion. He will be ready to defend his title, come Revenge...he is in great shape.
Question 23: What about Lurrr, is he dead?
President Dean: No, Lurrr is not dead.
~Dean hurls his water, nailing Question 23 guy in the head, knocking him out. He is dragged away by security~
President Dean: Lurrr is busy shooting a film right now. As soon a shooting wraps up, he will devote his entire focus onto OCW and his match with Bifford at Revenge.
Question 24: Are there any special guests or themes lined up for Revenge?
President Dean: We are in the final stages of securing a theme song for Revenge, if and when that gets done, we will unveil the details.
Question 25: So, no ‘Comin in Hot’ by Hollywood Undead?
President Dean: That is the theme for Massacre. If we ever produce an episode of Massacre, that theme will return.
Question 26: How are the announcers going to work at Revenge...are Smith and Hood calling all the matches?
President Dean: No, we will have two teams. One team will be Smith and Hood, they will be stationed at our primary site. Our second team will be comprised of Killface, Jones and Brother D...they will be situated at our secondary site.
Question 27: So, there will be two sites?
President Dean: Yes, the format we have designed for our main site won’t accommodate things like the Sub Zero Room or Bifford’s girth, so a second site was necessary. Go back and watch Black Out 2, we’ve done it before and it’s worked tremendously.
Question 28: Will both sites be in Brazil?
President Dean: The sites are literally five miles away from one another, so, yes.
Question 29: Dean, do you expect this lawsuit to break before or after Revenge?
President Dean: First off, it’s Mr. Dean to you and I’m not going to answer any questions about a fictitious lawsuit or some blonde bimbo named Claire Graves.
~Dean storms off, ending the PC. We fade out~
President Dean: Alright, suckas, let’s get this Press Conference going. First of all, to address the earlier news story concerning Ian Bishop and his failed physical...it is true, Ian has, indeed, failed the concussion portion of his physical examination and, therefore, will be unable to compete at Revenge.
Question 1: Mr. Dean, does this mean Ian has signed with OCW?
President Dean: As of this time, Ian Bishop is not signed with Online Championship Wrestling. We don’t sign crippled people.
Question 2: Who is going to face Lurrr at Revenge?
President Dean: I’m glad you asked that, Dr. Shaidee got back with me this afternoon with tremendous news. It appears Big Bifford either hit Weight Watchers really hard or began purging something fierce, because he has his weight down to a sufficient limit and passed a second physical this afternoon. So, at Revenge it will be The Big Bifford challenging Lurrr for the Hall of Fame Championship.
~The press room is abuzz after this huge announcement~
Question 3: Mr. Dean, will there be any type of stipulation for this match?
President Dean: Excellent question and, yes, there will be. With every Hall of Fame Championship match, OCW brass will look to a gimmick match one of the two competitors famously endured at some point in their career. For this match, I decided to look back to No Limits from July of 2000. Lurrr defeated Shane Thunder in a Dumpster Match to become Intercontinental Champion. So, Lurrr will be taking on The Big Bifford in a Dumpster Match at Revenge.
Question 4: Don’t you think that puts Lurrr at a, no pun intended, sizable disadvantage?
President Dean: A true champion can rise above and beyond any and every obstacle.
Question 5: Sir, I’d like to touch on yesterday’s huge announcement. What do the signings of Ashe Dawson and The Lost Soul mean for OCW and how do you think they will perform in their Three Stages of Escalation match?
President Dean: Ashe Dawson was a huge pickup. He was on the verge of something special last year before OCW had to temporarily close its doors and wipe the slate clean. To have him back is a very big deal. The Lost Soul...people forget how good this guy really is. He’s a Hall of Famer in several other federations...an all time force in this industry. Sadly, he didn’t have the opportunity to display his immense talents last year in OCW...that’s a problem I believe he’ll be able to remedy this go around. As for the three stages of escalation, we believe that this is a match which will become a fixture in OCW from this point forward. I mean, what better way to prove you have defeated your opponent? You start off with a pinfall...okay, sure, anyone can win with a cheap roll up or small package. Then comes the submission, far harder. I doubt any of you have every competed inside a squared circle, but making an opponent submit is no easy task. Finally, if it comes to this, the third and final fall...a last man standing. This is the ultimate way to defeat your opponent. A great way to put a stamp on an impressive victory and announce your ascension amongst the OCW roster.
Question 6: El Presidente, any word on PerZag’s assault?
President Dean: We have a pretty good idea who perpetrated the act and it is currently being dealt with internally.
Question 7: What about his opponent for Revenge? Any idea on who that person may be?
President Dean: That will be announced on Friday. The ink is drying on the contract, everything is set...we just want to wait until Friday to let the world know who PerZag is facing and in what type of match.
Question 8: Does the name Claire Graves mean anything to you?
President Dean: Not a clue...next?
Question 9: Are there any current plans to add an additional competitor to the Oh Shit Contract match or is it going to remain a one on one contest between Ryan Smith and Captain Canada?
President Dean: We are looking at adding at least one more competitor, yes. Ryan Smith actually poked his head into the OCW offices yesterday, so that was nice to see. Captain Canada, who the hell knows where he’s at...
Question 10: So, you just book cards and matches without being assured guys will show up?
President Dean: Can someone see that douche bag out of the room, with excessive force?
~Some security drag Question 10 guy away, twisting his arms with a double, MEGA WICKED Indian Sunburn. He screams loudly~
President Dean: Next?
Question 11: Huge news last week with the signing of Alice Knight...I think everyone in this room can agree we are glad to have her back in OCW.
~The press room begins to cheer and clap. Dean yells~
President Dean: I WILL HAVE ORDER IN MY PRESS ROOM!!
~They all quiet down~
President Dean: Thank you...geez, how about a little professionalism? But, yes, that was a major signature, we are glad to have the peculiar Alice Knight back in OCW.
Question 12: Any idea who her opponent may be? I mean, it has almost been a week since she was placed in the Paradigm Title Match.
President Dean: That, along with the match stipulation, will be announced tomorrow.
Question 13: Is it going to be Tatum Coe? His absence is glaring...
President Dean: Mayyybe...or maybe it will be Jack ‘The Big Fat Taco Eater’ Jacobs.
Question 14: Is Mr. Jacobs an all-arounder or strictly a brawler?
President Dean: Excessively escort that sucka out!
~Again, the security team indian sunburn a guy out of the press room, this time Question 14 guy. He, too, screams loudly~
Question 15: Mr. Dean, the tag team match against ItsuPuma and Awe.Some...it’s going to be a Climb the Rope Match...who came up with that concept?
President Dean: I did, when I looked at the match up, I kept thinking ‘ladder match’...but, ya know, we’ve done so many ladder matches, I kept telling myself there was something different we could do which would have the same type of effect. I just had to come up with it and that’s when I remembered climbing the rope in my high school gym classes. To me, it’s the perfect concept. Climbing a rope is way harder than a ladder and, plus, you can do some interesting damage to your opponents with a rope. Toss in some extremely athletic competitors like Itsumade and the Valdez Brothers and, sucka, that match could steal the show.
Question 16: What about the issues with Tatum Coe and Awe.Some...or, most notably, Rachel Valdez?
President Dean: I am not a damn babysitter...I can’t help what goes on between my wrestlers when they are away from OCW Headquarters. Obviously, the Valdez siblings and Tatum don’t see eye to eye on, well, several things. It could, potentially, be an issue that leads to some kind of in ring altercation down the line.
Question 17: What about the rumors that Clubbin Man has been selling drugs to kids in Ethiopia?
President Dean: Get the fuck out of here.
~Question 17 guy skulks away~
Question 18: About Claire Graves, I hear she is a very powerful attorney from New York...ring a bell? She’s blonde.
President Dean: Oh, you mean she’s blonde??? Well, then that clears up everything, doesn’t it?
~Dean deadpans the Question 18 guy~
President Dean: Get him out of here.
~He, too, is Indian Sunburned away, screaming~
Question 19: For everyone in here who listened to Rippercast, Danny B made mention that he was curious to see who Mack O’Connor’s opponent would be. Is that something that’s going to be announced soon or is it the winner of Grenier/Vargas...I’m confused.
President Dean: Finally, a legitimate question. The winner of Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas will take on Mack O’Connor for the OCW Title in the Main Event of Revenge.
Question 20: Last week, we saw some Plexiglas structure being built in the OCW warehouse...care to give us any hints as to what that is?
President Dean: That will be announced soon...I can’t give you guys everything all at once, ya know? Having said that, the structure will be used at Revenge.
Question 21: What about Treat Cassidy and the rumors he’s bringing others into OCW?
President Dean: Treat is a highly accomplished manager with a ton of connections. Anybody he is looking to bring into OCW would have to be cleared through my office, first, before ever debuting. As long as we’re all on the same page, I don’t see why any of the names he’s mentioned couldn’t be a possibility.
Question 22: Nobody has heard from Mack O’Connor...is he doing okay?
President Dean: Mack is fine, just enjoying the life of a champion. He will be ready to defend his title, come Revenge...he is in great shape.
Question 23: What about Lurrr, is he dead?
President Dean: No, Lurrr is not dead.
~Dean hurls his water, nailing Question 23 guy in the head, knocking him out. He is dragged away by security~
President Dean: Lurrr is busy shooting a film right now. As soon a shooting wraps up, he will devote his entire focus onto OCW and his match with Bifford at Revenge.
Question 24: Are there any special guests or themes lined up for Revenge?
President Dean: We are in the final stages of securing a theme song for Revenge, if and when that gets done, we will unveil the details.
Question 25: So, no ‘Comin in Hot’ by Hollywood Undead?
President Dean: That is the theme for Massacre. If we ever produce an episode of Massacre, that theme will return.
Question 26: How are the announcers going to work at Revenge...are Smith and Hood calling all the matches?
President Dean: No, we will have two teams. One team will be Smith and Hood, they will be stationed at our primary site. Our second team will be comprised of Killface, Jones and Brother D...they will be situated at our secondary site.
Question 27: So, there will be two sites?
President Dean: Yes, the format we have designed for our main site won’t accommodate things like the Sub Zero Room or Bifford’s girth, so a second site was necessary. Go back and watch Black Out 2, we’ve done it before and it’s worked tremendously.
Question 28: Will both sites be in Brazil?
President Dean: The sites are literally five miles away from one another, so, yes.
Question 29: Dean, do you expect this lawsuit to break before or after Revenge?
President Dean: First off, it’s Mr. Dean to you and I’m not going to answer any questions about a fictitious lawsuit or some blonde bimbo named Claire Graves.
~Dean storms off, ending the PC. We fade out~
BREAKING NEWS: Ian Bishop Doesn’t Pass Physical – Cannot Compete at OCW Revenge!
Days ago footage was released of OCW Hall of Famer ‘the Incredible’ Ian Bishop meeting with OCW President Dean to discuss a possible contract for OCW’s next event, Revenge. After much debate, the two were able to come to terms on Bishop facing Lurrr for the OCW Hall of Fame Championship – if he passed a physical; a precautionary due to Bishop being injured in a previous federation. Ian seemed confident he would pass it.
However, word has come from OCW’s doctor, Dr. V. R. Shaidee, that Ian had passed every exam he gave him; except the concussion test. Dr. Shaidee was quoted saying, “I would love to pass Ian but it would be against my job to do so. Passed on his test results he still has a lingering concussion that if worsened could cause serious damage to his head, and or brain, so without a doubt Ian cannot compete at Revenge.”
When reached for comment, Ian seemed shocked and caught off guard by the results. “Really?” Ian started, “when I met with the guy, the expressions he was giving off was that I’d be okay. Maybe not. I’m fucking pissed that I can’t wrestle of course, but there is always next month to destroy OCW. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get what I fucking want next time… the World Championship match.”
Of course, this now leaves Lurrr without an opponent for Revenge. President Dean could not be reached for comment on the subject of Lurrr’s opponent but we do know that Dean’s weekly press conference is being held soon, so a response on Ian’s failed physical and Lurrr’s opponent could be discussed.]]]
However, word has come from OCW’s doctor, Dr. V. R. Shaidee, that Ian had passed every exam he gave him; except the concussion test. Dr. Shaidee was quoted saying, “I would love to pass Ian but it would be against my job to do so. Passed on his test results he still has a lingering concussion that if worsened could cause serious damage to his head, and or brain, so without a doubt Ian cannot compete at Revenge.”
When reached for comment, Ian seemed shocked and caught off guard by the results. “Really?” Ian started, “when I met with the guy, the expressions he was giving off was that I’d be okay. Maybe not. I’m fucking pissed that I can’t wrestle of course, but there is always next month to destroy OCW. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get what I fucking want next time… the World Championship match.”
Of course, this now leaves Lurrr without an opponent for Revenge. President Dean could not be reached for comment on the subject of Lurrr’s opponent but we do know that Dean’s weekly press conference is being held soon, so a response on Ian’s failed physical and Lurrr’s opponent could be discussed.]]]
The Lost Soul Returns to OCW; Will Face Ashe Dawson for the Ascension Title
The Enigmatic Lost Soul has agreed to return to OCW after his brief, yet impact filled 2014 run. In 2014, The Lost Soul competed with Roach at Resurrection in one of the most brutal matches OCW has ever seen.
From that point forward, he feuded with the Central Region financier, Bobbinette Carey before slowly fading into obscurity. Many OCW fans and several members of management were disappointed that The Lost Soul didn't achieve the kind of success they had all hoped when he originally signed one year ago.
Now, it's 2015, a different year and, perhaps, a different story. TLS is back and he has already agreed to compete at Revenge against Ashe Dawson for the Ascension Championship.
The match itself is being dubbed a 'Three Stages of Escalation' match. I'm told it's like a three stages of hell or a two out of three falls match, a very similar format. The main difference is each fall escalates in degree of difficulty.
The first fall will be a typical, ordinary pinfall. The second fall will be a submission. The third and final fall will be held under Last Man Standing rules. More details will come, I'm sure, during President Dean's weekly press conference, which is scheduled for tomorrow.
In the meantime, The Lost Soul has returned and is set for an amazing match up with one of 2014's brightest young stars, Ashe Dawson. Stay tuned to the news wire for any further developments!
From that point forward, he feuded with the Central Region financier, Bobbinette Carey before slowly fading into obscurity. Many OCW fans and several members of management were disappointed that The Lost Soul didn't achieve the kind of success they had all hoped when he originally signed one year ago.
Now, it's 2015, a different year and, perhaps, a different story. TLS is back and he has already agreed to compete at Revenge against Ashe Dawson for the Ascension Championship.
The match itself is being dubbed a 'Three Stages of Escalation' match. I'm told it's like a three stages of hell or a two out of three falls match, a very similar format. The main difference is each fall escalates in degree of difficulty.
The first fall will be a typical, ordinary pinfall. The second fall will be a submission. The third and final fall will be held under Last Man Standing rules. More details will come, I'm sure, during President Dean's weekly press conference, which is scheduled for tomorrow.
In the meantime, The Lost Soul has returned and is set for an amazing match up with one of 2014's brightest young stars, Ashe Dawson. Stay tuned to the news wire for any further developments!
Ashe Dawson Re-Signs with OCW; Will Compete for the Ascension Title
Ashe Dawson, one of the top performers during OCW's final months of 2014, has officially agreed to terms for an OCW return that will see him compete at Revenge for the Ascension Championship.
Dawson appeared close to breaking through during August of 2014, sadly, OCW's closure left the fans without an answers as to whether or not Dawson could ascend to the top of the OCW roster. Eager for another shot at ultimate success, Dawson has agreed to return, bolstering the already deep OCW roster.
Furthermore, we have learned he will compete for the Ascension title and, in even bigger news, his opponent is going to be revealed later today. Apparently a few snags have hit negotiations with Dawson's future opponent, however, I'm told they are expected to be resolved this afternoon.
With the deadline for Revenge a mere 72 hours away, there are a lot of pieces that need to come together, completing the lineup. Which means, the OCW news wire is going to be a busy, busy place over the next few days.
Stay tuned as more news is sure to break at any given second.
Dawson appeared close to breaking through during August of 2014, sadly, OCW's closure left the fans without an answers as to whether or not Dawson could ascend to the top of the OCW roster. Eager for another shot at ultimate success, Dawson has agreed to return, bolstering the already deep OCW roster.
Furthermore, we have learned he will compete for the Ascension title and, in even bigger news, his opponent is going to be revealed later today. Apparently a few snags have hit negotiations with Dawson's future opponent, however, I'm told they are expected to be resolved this afternoon.
With the deadline for Revenge a mere 72 hours away, there are a lot of pieces that need to come together, completing the lineup. Which means, the OCW news wire is going to be a busy, busy place over the next few days.
Stay tuned as more news is sure to break at any given second.
