LIVE! From the Brunswick High School Gymnasium in Brunswick, Ohio
~Staring at the OCW website, we scroll down to an embedded live stream. Currently the Massacre logo shows as we’re a few minutes away from the actual broadcast beginning. A cursor suddenly flies across the screen as volume starts up on the stream. Not much is heard other than the labored breaths of an individual. The cursor slides to the top of the screen when a browser address comes out from hiding. A ‘click’ sound is heard as the cursor clicks in the address box, highlighting the current web address. It’s instantly deleted as the typing of a keyboard is heard with the word “pornhub.com” being typed into the web address. Suddenly, a voice calls out~
Concerned Voice: Claude, what are you doing?
Claude: Huh? What?
Concerned Voice: You’re surfing for porn!
Claude: I didn’t know anyone else was in here.
Concerned Voice: Dude, everyone can see what you’re doing!
Claude: What are you talking about? It’s just the two of us.
Concerned Voice: No, man, the feed has gone live…you’re surfing for porn on our live stream!
~A moment of silence interrupts their conversation. The sound of a box being slid across a desk is heard~
Claude: Fuck.
Concerned Voice: Good call, Claude, I’d hide that tissue box as well. May wanna…
~The sound of a zipper going up is heard~
Concerned Voice: Excellent.
Claude: Why are we starting an hour early?
Concerned Voice: We’re not, it’s 8pm eastern time…you’re on central, aren’t you?
Claude: Maybe.
Concerned Voice: CLAUDE!
Claude: Sorry…porn clears my mind, so I’m obviously a big foggy.
Concerned Voice: Well, whatever, plug into Leo’s feed, we’re running behind…
~The OCW logo quickly vanishes as we’re taken to the parking lot outside of Brunswick High School, the gymnasium is a few feet in front of us. President Dean stands in the middle of the parking lot with his fists on his hips, looking triumphant. The screams and cheers of people can be heard in the not too far off distance~
President Dean: That’s right, suckas…OCW is back! Live from…uhh…Ohio, somewhere…but look at that gym, man! That gym is awesome…way better than our last two venues…just like the Jefferson’s we be movin’ on up!
~The cheers continue as Dean’s smile goes from confident to slightly nervous as the sound of a large vehicle’s engine starting up can be heard. He motions for Leo to follow him~
President Dean: Let’s head on inside, these rabid OCW fans must be getting cold…come on, hurry up now!
~Our viewpoint shoots straight down as Leo’s shoelace is untied. He begins to tie it, much to Dean’s dismay~
President Dean: We ain’t got time for that! C’mon, let’s go! Hurry it up!!
~Leo finishes tying the shoe lace to his Keds brand shoes and returns to his upright position, focusing back on Dean. As he does, the Brunswick basketball team bus pulls out of the parking lot with all the screaming fans and parents chasing them. As they chase the bus out of the parking lot, all the cheers we heard earlier disappear. Dean doesn’t appear too happy~
President Dean: Son of a…I told your bitch ass to hurry up!
Leo: But my shoe lace, Mr. Dean, I could’ve tripped and shattered the most expensive thing OCW owns.
~Dean can’t really argue that point…this camera Leo is holding wasn’t cheap. He extends his open palm and aggressively shakes it down at Leo’s shoes~
President Dean: Keds? Really? What are you, an eight year old girl or some kind of nurse? Shit, come on, let’s get this show started…
~Leo follows Dean as they reach the entrance to the gymnasium. Dean pulls the double doors back as hard as he can to make a grand entrance. He throws his arms in the air as some faint cheers ring out. Leo enters right behind him and we see a ring in the middle of the Blue Devils basketball court. A black, thin fabric is nestled underneath the ring, to keep it from scratching the hardwood. On all four sides of the ring, about ten feet away or so are cheap, metal bleachers than can fold up when not needed. For this occasion, they are folded out for the OCW crowd. Fans are spread out amongst the four sets of bleachers…two would’ve been just fine but, apparently Dean was expecting a much larger crowd. Dean points over at some high school kid who’s handling the electronics for the evening. He begins to play “Comin in Hot” by Hollywood Undead as Dean unearths a few sparklers, lights them and waves them around for pyros. The people in attendance…I’d estimate about 30 or 40 all cheer and get a light “OCW!” chant going. Dean waves the sparklers around until they go out and then points towards Hood, who is seated at cheap wooden fold out table…the kind wrestlers go through on a nightly basis on the indy circuit. There is an empty chair next to him. Dean heads across the gym and exits through a set of doors to the ‘backstage’ area, tossing his burnt out sparklers in a nearby trash can. Leo focuses in on Hood~
Hood: Hello again, OCW and welcome to cold as fuck Ohio for tonight’s return edition of Monday Night Massacre…as you know, my job has absolutely sucked the last few weeks. Not just because we’ve been hosting our shows out of broke ass high school gyms and seedy bars. To be honest, ‘Bar’ was a pretty kick ass establishment and Nibbles threw me a couple of perks at the end of the night. No…it’s sucked because I’ve had to do all of this announcing shit by myself…I mean, do I LOOK like the kind of guy that knows what a triple reverse dragon suplex into a 450 moonsault corkscrew is? Shit no. I understand punches, kicks and fucking blood…that’s about it. So, thankfully…never thought I’d say this…but I’m glad to say my old announcing buddy, Smith…is back.
~OCW’s theme song dies down as “Everybody” by The Backstreet Boys begins to play. Much to Hood’s dismay, the largely family oriented crowd filled with parents who want to be hip in front of their small children begin to move their bodies to the sickeningly catchy beat. Smith emerges from the north side of the gym, barely able to get one of the doors open. He jives and twirls his way down near ringside. As he passes a couple of bleachers, he hands colored lollipops out to some of the younger kids in attendance. Hood buries his face in his hands, wanting to shoot himself with a bow and arrow. Arryk is standing ringside with his baseball bat, Smith walks up to him and offers him a lollipop. Arryk remains emotionless doing his best to ignore Smith. Smith shrugs and hurls the lollipop into the crowd over his head as if he were throwing a bouquet at a wedding. He finally reaches the table as the music continues to blare. He dances in front of it with his hand out for a high five. Hood slaps it away~
Smith: Hood! Man, what’s up?!
Hood: Fuck this, I’ll call stupid ass suplexes all night…I instantly regret begging them to bring you back. And can we please cut that stupid fucking music?!
~Hood stands up and does the ‘throat slash’ with his hand. The High School electronics guy doesn’t notice as his eyes are shut while he jams to the beat. Hood finds a pen on his desk and hurls it at the kid. It lands near enough to grab his attention. He opens his eyes and receives Hood’s death stare. He quickly shuts the music off as Smith finishes dancing and takes a seat next to Hood~
Smith: Whew, already off to a rocking start!
Hood: Lollipops, really?
Smith: What? Something for the kiddos!
Hood: A strange grown man doesn’t give little kids lollipops…
Smith: Well, why not Mr. Grumpy?
Hood: Because it’s fucking creepy! Especially with that shit playing…
Smith: Oh, don’t be silly.
~Smith assembles some papers on the table in front of him and goes into play by play mode~
Smith: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to OCW’s Monday Night Massacre! We are live here at the Brunswick High School Gymnasium in Brunswick, Ohio. Hood, I hear the people in this town are huge basketball fans…
Hood: Yea, I think Dean found that out as well.
Smith: Terrific! Boy, do we have a stacked lineup for you guys tonight…The Queen of Epicness attempts to go 2-0 to start her OCW career…what do you think about that, Hood?
Hood: Oh shit, Smith, I don’ t know…I’m still trying to gather myself after that debacle you put on.
Smith: Splendid! We also have an exciting hardcore bout between Johnny Riot and Roach. I don’t know about you, Hood…but Riot will be avoiding any sort of infestation tonight while trying to crush Roach.
Hood: Geezus! Will you shut the fuck up?!
Smith: Excellent! Plus, Amber Ryan makes her debut against Harold the Headliner…who’s apparently some kind of comedian. Speaking of, did you hear the one about the frog, elevator and pet rock?
Hood: Smith, I swear on my mother’s life…
~The Godfather Waltz by Smash cuts Hood off and Mario Maurako makes his way to the ring decked out in a pin stripped suit.~
Smith: Well we won’t have to wait long to find out what’s going on with Mario Maurako. When Addiction went off the air last week it ended with President Dean making a phone call to Mario Maurako, and now Mario is right here on Massacre.
~Mario grabs a microphone from ringside and then climbs the steps into the ring to address the dozens of fans gathered for the first episode of OCW Monday Night Massacre.~
Mario Maurako: For those of you out there who aren’t lucky enough to already know who I am. My name is Mario Maurako, and I used to be in the OCW Hall of Fame.
~The fans cheer the mention of Mario being stripped from the Hall of Fame by Dean last week.~
Mario Maurako: That was until a week ago when the beloved OCW President Dean had me removed from the hallowed walls.
~A teenager in the front row yells “You Suck” at Mario. Without missing a beat Mario turns in the direction of the kid.~
Mario Maurako: So does your mom kid.
~Mario smiles as he turns back towards the camera providing the internet feed of the show.~
Mario Maurako: So as you are all aware last week I received a phone call from Dean to discuss my return to OCW and he invited me here tonight to sign that contract. But on my way to the arena tonight I thought of a few demands that must be met first.
Smith: Of course Mario would have some demands. He’s got Dean in a no win situation right here.
Mario Maurako: My 1st demand; I want to be returned to the Hall of Fame effective immediately.
~The fans boo as Mario makes his play to be returned to glory.~
Smith: I guess we all should’ve seen that coming.
Hood: It sounds fair if he’s going to agree to return and save OCW.
Mario Maurako: My 2nd demand; the greatest Tag Team in OCW History needs to be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Clearly, I’m talking about Perfectly Marvelous, the founders of the OCW Tag Team division.
Smith: The Greek Gods were the first ever OCW Tag Team Champions-
Mario Maurako: I know Smith is over there at his table babbling about how a couple of jobbers like the Greek Gods and Mississippi Mud founded the division. Let’s all be real for a second and think about this objectively. Perfectly Marvelous was never defeated in tag team action. End of Story.
Hood: Well, History is always defined by the winners and he’s got a point!
Smith: It’s tasteless Hood.
Mario Maurako: Finally, my 3rd demand; I demand that I am always paid more than Bobbinette Carey.
~The fans in attendance pop with excitement for the hometown queen.~
Mario Maurako: The fact that she signed here was done solely as a ploy to piss me off, both by her and by Dean. But the joke is on the two of you. Now Dean you will pay me to make sure your federation crumbles, and you Carey will never be the top draw as long as there is air in my lungs.
~The fans boo and throw a few empty cups at Mario in the ring. Mario chuckles at the feeble attempts by the fans to get under his skin.~
Mario Maurako: Dean, you have until the end of the night to give in to my demands or all of this goes away.
Smith: Forgive my language Hood, but Mario Maurako is just a big meany!
Hood: Geezus, shut up Smith!
Smith: He’s got Dean stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m not privy to Dean’s financials but I wonder if he even has the cash to make this deal happen.
Hood: That was probably Mario’s plan all along.
Smith: This is a travesty, I hope somebody can smack that smug Mario right in the kisser and set him straight…I never thought I’d say this…but I would prefer Paul Paras right now.
Hood: There’s nobody…NO-BODY on the roster who can shut Mario up.
Smith: I think a competitor in our opener may have something to say about that…
Hood: Bifford’s back?
Smith: No, you not-so-big lug! The Queen of Epicness…
Hood: I was unaware this was a slapstick comedy show
Smith: Whatever! Let’s go down to ringside for our opening bout!
~”Someone to Hate” by Demon Hunter begins to play throughout the High School Gymnasium as the people in attendance stand and turn their attentions towards the south entrance of the gymnasium. Derek Jacobs emerges, having to lean to the side in an effort to avoid hitting his head while entering~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’9 and weighing in at 289 lbs….Derek Jacobs!!
~Derek Jacobs steps over the top rope as he enters into the ring. His size is impressive and, coupled with his angry disposition, Jacobs is an intimidating presence. “Circus” fires up as the Brunswick crowd cheers wildly in anticipation of Bobbinette Carey. She enters from the north entrance and hustles down to the ring~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Parma Heights, Ohio, standing 5’5” and weighing in at 165lbs…she is the “Queen of Epicness”…Bobbinette Carey!!
~Belvedere exits the ring and Carey’s music comes to an end as Smith reaches out with his miniature gold gavel and hits the bell at the announce table, signaling the start of the match. Hood covers his ears angrily. Jacobs stalks his way over to Carey with Carey showing absolutely no fear. While Jacobs takes his time, she sizes him up, calculating where to start in on the big man. Carey sprints towards Jacobs instantly. Jacobs lunges, attempting to grab her, Carey ducks his arms and wraps her arms around his waist, standing behind him. Jacobs looks down at her arms around his waist and smirks. He reaches down to forcibly remove her hands. Before he can, she drops to one knee and drills him in the back of the left knee with a forearm. Jacobs lifts his left leg up and hops away. Carey gets to her feet and runs after Jacobs…she jumps and hits his left leg with a dropkick! The impact causes Jacobs to spin to the side. He falls to one knee, grasping his left knee~
Smith: No fear from the Queen of Epicness! How do you take down a redwood? You chop him down!
Hood: With the edge of my hand…cause…
Smith: You’re the master of knife edged chops? I…I don’t get it…
Hood: I’m a voodoo child you fucking dunce.
~Carey walks up behind Jacobs who is busy focusing on his slightly wounded knee. She grabs his face with her hands and begins to pull at his prominent features. Jacobs screams out in pain and turns around rapidly with his elbows out, much like a post player would do while securing a rebound. One of his sharp elbows nails Carey in the stomach. She staggers back a bit. Jacobs knows he nailed her and he gets to his feet. With his back to Carey, he shakes his left leg a bit, it appears to be recovering. He turns around and rushes towards Carey, who is selling the elbow shot. Carey, however, was hamming it up and dropkicks Jacobs in the knee! Jacobs left leg goes out from under him and he falls to the mat. He quickly sits up, grabbing his left knee again~
Smith: Relentless…it’s easy to see why Bobbinette Carey is who she is in the world of wrestling.
Hood: Who is she, exactly?
Smith: An extremely accomplished wrestle.
Hood: You don’t know who she is, do you?
Smith: The Queen of Epicness, duh
Hood: Unbelievable…you didn’t do your fucking homework before showing up
Smith: I had to take the red eye, okay???
~Carey rushes over and nails Jacobs in the head with a barrage of lefts and rights. Jacobs uses the palms of his hands to drag himself into a nearby corner. Once in the corner, Carey ceases the punching and begins to stomp the big man as he sits in the corner. Jacobs tries to cover up, but the kicks are coming in fast and furiously. Finally, one of her legs is grasped by Jacobs. He gives it a violent shove backwards. Carey, however, shows some great athleticism and does a backflip…while she’s in the air, Jacobs uses the top rope to pull himself to his feet. Carey lands on her feet and turns around…right as she does, Jacobs drills her with a running lariat!! Carey’s body turns inside out and is left lying in the middle of the ring as the fans boo Jacobs~
Smith: WHOA! For a big man, Jacobs can really move!
Hood: I guess the giant was tired of being poked.
Smith: I’d say there was more than some poking going on.
Hood: There’s a joke in there somewhere however I’m too rusty to pull it out…
~Silence between the two~
Hood: Yea, we just need to shut up for awhile.
~Jacobs walks around on the knee for a second or two, finding it to be a bit tender but in workable condition. He yanks Carey to her feet and slings her into a corner. Her body crashes against the turnbuckles roughly. Jacobs walks over and with an open hand slaps the hell out of her chest! It makes a loud noise which angers the partisan crowd. Jacobs pays them no attention. He lifts Carey up and places her on the top turnbuckle. He then grabs her arm and slings her across the ring with an arm drag!! Carey’s body goes sliding across the ring and finally comes to rest a few feet from the ropes. Jacobs slowly raises one arm which draws jeers from the high school gymnasium crowd~
Smith: That’s a new take on the arm drag.
Hood: No shit and it sent that bitch flying. We could witness homicide tonight, Smith.
Smith: I hope not, I’m a fan of life.
Hood: Seeing as I work within close proximity of ya every week…that’s good to know.
~Carey displays a ton of heart as she reaches up and grabs the middle rope. Slowly, she begins the struggle of pulling herself to her feet. Jacobs walks towards her with a bit more haste this time, not wanting another knee shot. Carey is nearly to her feet with Jacobs grabs her throat with both hands. He lifts her up in the air in a double handed choke hold. Scruff rushes over and begins to count. Carey, however, lifts a knee to Jacobs chin. Jacobs shakes it off. Carey with another knee and then another and a third until Jacobs drops Carey. She lands in a crouching position and grabs Jacobs left leg. She pulls it out and punches away at the knee cap. Jacobs winces in pain with every punch. He utilizes his superior reach and grabs Carey by the hair. He yanks her hair towards him, she continues to punch his knee for dear life. Jacobs finally uses all the strength he has and pulls Carey’s hair to the right…Carey’s forcefully removed from the grasp she has of his leg as Jacobs has her up in the air, gripping her hair. He then slams her down, face first on the mat! Carey grabs her face in pain as Jacobs once again goes down. He slides his knee pad and rubs the cap…making sure it’s okay~
Smith: My Goodness!
Hood: Now THAT’s how you put a bitch in check.
Smith: I’m not sure plastic surgery is on OCW’s medical plan.
Hood: Tylenol isn’t on our medical plan, dipshit. Where the fuck have you been?
~Jacobs gets to his feet and tests the knee out a bit and finds it stable enough. Carey is on all four grimacing in pain from the impact of her face plant. Jacobs walks up to her and with his right leg gives her a stiff kick to the midsection. Carey’s body goes flying into the ropes. She falls through the ropes, but hangs on to the middle rope to keep from falling onto the very thin fabric lying on top of the basketball court. She manages to pull herself onto the apron and hugs the rope, trying to gather herself. Jacobs walks over and reaches over the top rope and yanks Carey by the hair to her feet. He lifts a knee into her midsection through the ropes and then displays incredible strength by pulling Carey up and holding her over his head for a press slam. He then hurls her back into the ring where she crashes with tremendous impact! Carey arches her back in pain. Jacobs walks over and pins her. He hooks both of her legs tightly. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Juuuust got it in there, right before the three count.
Hood: Hell yea she did, Jacobs needs to be stronger with that shit…hell, it’s not like he doesn’t have a whole fucking foot of girth on this bitch…cover her entire body, ya dumbass.
Smith: You don’t think it has anything to do with the fact Bobbinette Carey is a well trained wrestler well versed in the art of escape?
Hood: No.
~Jacobs slams Carey’s shoulder into the mat hard, out of anger. He glares at Scruff who scratches the 9 o’clock shadow on his face. Jacobs roughly drags Carey to a nearby corner as she is clutching her shoulder. Jacobs picks Carey up and sets her on the top turnbuckle with her back facing Jacobs. He begins to climb to the top rope while Carey is seated up there~
Smith: This seems like an unnecessary risk by Derek Jacobs.
Hood: What are you talking about? It’s common knowledge 6’9 wrestlers have to go to the air to dispense of 5’5 opponents.
Smith: Are you being sarcastic?
Hood: Nooooooo....
~Jacobs reaches the top and is apparently going to try and german suplex Carey off the rope. Sensing trouble, Carey throws her elbows wildly, trying to get away from Jacobs. She unhooks her legs from around the top rope and turnbuckle and is able to slide back to the mat through Jacob’s legs. Standing on the mat, she delivers a superman punch to the back of Jacobs left knee! He loses his balance and falls from the top. However, instead of hitting the mat, his left leg gets hung up under the top rope and turnbuckle, leaving him hanging upside down with immense pressure being applied to his already injured knee. The fans cheer wildly for Carey’s cleverness~
Smith: Whoa!
Hood: Holy shit…that had to tear something up…look at his fucking leg!
Smith: It’s Anderson Silva all over again.
Hood: Calm down, drama queen…it’s not THAT bad.
~Jacobs begins to freak out, realizing the damage being in this position is causing to the ligaments inside his knee. He does a mid air sit up and tries to unhook his leg. As he’s working on his leg, Carey has regained much of her whereabouts and runs towards the ropes. She leaps up onto the middle rope, springboards off and stomps down on Jacob’s chest and head!! His upper torso falls back into its previous position with his leg still tied up. Carey steps through the ropes and walks along the apron until she’s next to Jacobs leg. Jacobs, somewhat out of it after that previous move, doesn’t try too hard to fight her off. Carey grabs his leg and then hangs from it with her feet dangling in the air. Jacobs screams in pain as Scruff slides in, asking him if he wants to give up~
Smith: Extremely innovative submission attempt here.
Hood: Dude, is that even fucking legal?
Smith: Scruff seems to think so
Hood: Seriously, who the hell is Scruff McDougall…is he some bum Dean picked up on the way to the show?
Smith: Dean quit hiring bums years ago, you know that.
~Carey hangs on for a few more minutes, inflicting a tremendous amount of pain into Jacobs already damaged left knee. She finally lets go when it becomes obvious that Jacobs isn’t going to tap, she does so by pulling down as hard as she can one last time. Carey releases and drops to her feet on the outside. The torque from that final pull jars Jacob’s leg loose and he falls to the mat, landing front first. He immediately curls up and clutches his left knee as Carey makes her way back into the ring~
Smith: Six foot nine doesn’t do you any good when you’re lying on the mat.
Hood: Have to give it to that bitch…she’s executed her plan flawlessly.
Smith: Indeed!
~Carey walks over to Jacobs and applies a couple of kicks to his injured knee. Jacobs tries to move away, but he’s pretty immobile and having very little success in doing so. Carey takes a few steps back and drills Jacobs in the head with a roundhouse kick! He falls flat on his back, barely moving as it becomes pretty obvious Carey has this match well in hand~
Smith: This one could be over soon, Hood.
Hood: Gee, Smith, what gave you that idea?
Smith: My eyes!
Hood: Of course
~Carey slowly pulls Jacobs to his feet, he’s clearly dazed and injured. He hops around on his right leg, unable to put any pressure on his left knee. Carey knees him in the gut, causing him to double over in pain. She applies a few sharp elbows to the back of his neck, keeping him immobilized. She then lifts her leg up, over the back of his neck and in quick, flawless form and fashion drops Jacobs with an Over Drive!! He is lying flat on his back, motionless as Carey hooks the good, right leg for the pin. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~Smith dings the bell with his small golden gavel as Hood tries to snatch it away, but is too slow. Belvedere stands up next to the announce table with his mic as Scruff raises Carey’s hand~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner…The Queen of Epicness BOBBINETTE CAREY!!!!!
~”Circus” starts up as the crowd emits their loudest cheers so far this evening for the Queen of Epicness. Bobbinette Carey acknowledges them and slaps a few hands as she walks across the gym and exits through the south door. Her music comes to an end as Scruff checks on Jacobs, who is holding his knee~
Smith: Bobbinette Carey with yet ANOTHER impressive win here tonight, Hood.
Hood: Yea, I don’t care for her but she did look good…I assumed Jacobs would handle her pretty easily and, well, that piece of garbage can’t even get out of the ring.
Smith: Nope, he may have to get that knee scoped.
Hood: On his own dime, of course.
Smith: Indeed! No medical here!
Hood: Haha!
Smith: Hood!
Hood: What?! Do you have to yell? Geesh…
Smith: Sorry, but I’m very excited to introduce our brand new iPad! Instead of a blackberry, we will be using this iPad for all of our backstage segments handled by OCW’s backstage interviewer, Skytz the Blimp.
Hood: It’s pimp
Smith: Excuse me?
Hood: His name is Skytz the pimp.
Smith: Oh, I assumed that was a misprint.
Hood: Why is the screen cracked on the iPad?
Smith: Turns out the user on ebay had a 45% approval rating for a reason. No worries, it still works just fine.
Hood: Fuck it, I’m guessing we have something backstage?
Smith: Indeed! Let’s hop to it!
~Zooming in on the cracked iPad, we catch Skytz adjusting the crotch of his tight pants when he is suddenly interrupting by someone behind him.~
Voice: Can you be a dear and help me out with something?
~He turns around to see a beautiful lady in a white dress with lovely do eyes looking at him with an infectious smile.~
Skytz: Sure, what can I do for you? Brianna, right?
~Her smile widens.~
Brianna: That is correct. It is Brianna Casablancas to be a wee more astute. This is my first night in this organization and while I don’t want to throw a spanner in the works, I was hoping to perform a grappling promo tonight. I have looked up in down but have not found an interviewer. Would you mind doing a bird a favor and giving me a proper interview.
~Flustered, Skytz nods his head~
Skytz: Sure.
~The pretty young lady springs up in delight with an elated smile on her face~
Brianna: SMASHING!
~He finds a nearby microphone and tries his best to imitate a interviewer he would see on any other grappling show.~
Skytz: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is Brianna Casablancas.
Brianna: Good day!
Miss Casablancas, there has been some talk about your anarchist attitude towards the wrestling profession and the want for a society without any rules. Are you really as anti-authority as you seem?
~She gives him a warm smile as he holds the microphone towards her.~
Brianna: Oh heavens no! Let us not be faffing around with the logistics here, love. My take on humanity and a bloke or birds journey to reach self-actualization should not be misconstrued as anarchy or even hedonism. I do not want to change the system or the rules by which we operate under. It would be smashing if that did happen but I wouldn’t wager a few quid on it. What I am talking about is the way I live my life for my own pleasure. You need to stay away from those Chinese Whispers. If you want to follow the rules, go right on ahead and do that. I am not going to stop you from doing as such nor is it my right to tell any of my grappling mates how to live their life. It does not mean that I believe that I am tops above them either. It means that I don’t let other persons nor governments tell me what my limitations are. It means that I absolutely do not live by anyone’s standards but my own. And yes love, that does include doing whatever it is I feel like. And you know what mate? I am having one of those twee feelings right now. Now don’t you go taking this one to heart, dear.
~Brianna pulls reaches into the cleavage of her dress as the interviewer looks a bit confused but happy at the same time. When pulls her hand out, she has brass knuckles around her fist. She turns around and nails him with it sending him backwards onto the floor.~
Brianna: My apologies dear but you wanted a definition and Bob’s your Uncle.
~She pauses before taking off the knucks and tossing them back into the cleavage of her dress. She gives a lovely smile to the camera.~
Brianna: CHEERS!
~Our video feed ends and we return to Smith and Hood~
Smith: A very enthusiastic young lady…I can’t wait for her in ring debut!
Hood: That bitch is hot
Smith: I suppose that can be taken as a compliement
Hood: Shit yea it can
Smith: Jared Black, aware of him?
Hood: Sounds familiar…Jack Black’s little brother?
Smith: That was a horrible joke…not tasteless…just horrible and unfunny, you’re better than that.
Hood: You’re right, I apologize to you and all of OCW…we may be in the tank right now…but that joke was beneath us.
Smith: Apology accepted…anyway, Jared Black is a promising young rookie who is up next against Reid! Reid won his most recent OCW match in a tag team bout against the Greek gods.
Hood: He also won a title somewhere, right?
Smith: Vague, yet accurate statement…Reid is a former ICWF TV Champion…so this would be a nice debut win for Jared Black.
Hood: Well, fuck…let’s see this rook in action.
Belvedere: Introducing first! Hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in at 315lbs...REID!!!
Hood: Oh great, here comes the jobbers.
Smith: Reid is a magnificent specimen! I'm sure he's going to more than hold his own against the newcomer, Jared Black.
Hood: Stop pining over the wrestlers here Smith, it sickens me.
~"Boys in the Hood" by Easy E starts to play and out walks Reid to the crowd really not giving a shit, but the ones that actually know who he is, cheering. He waves to the audience and enters the ring, looking towards the locker room doors, awaiting his opponent.~
Smith: Look at him! MARVELOUS! JUST MARVELOUS!
Hood: Is this going to carry on throughout the whole match?
Smith: Is what going to carry on?
Hood: Your complete disregard to your surroundings when you get a boner!
Smith: I have no such thing!
Belvedere: Now, making his way to the ring standing at a much shorter 6'0 and coming from Jacksonville, FL...JARED BLACK!!!
~"Ties That Bind" by Alter Bridge comes on over the sound system and out walks Jared Black from the locker room, sauntering his way to the ring at an almost dismal reaction from the crowd, which is to be expected being new to the OCW faithful. Jared enters the ring and starts to jump up and down, warming up as Reid icily stares straight at Black.~
Smith: Looks like some tension in the ring!
Hood: Not as much as the sexual tension coming you and Reid.
Smith: Can you not let this go?
Hood: I'll let it go when you admit that you have the tendency of leaning towards the liking of men.
Smith: That will never happen.
Hood: Consider that your one free out, pun intended.
~The ref signals for the bell as Reid immediately goes on the offensive as the two men meet in the center of the ring and Reid clocks Black with a right hook that sends Jared Black's head to his left. Slowly Black brings his head straight again, barely phased by the hard right that was delivered by Reid. Black smiles a toothy smile and then returns the right hook, straight to the face of Reid, but instead of being barely phased, Reid goes down to the mat, holding his jaw in pain.~
Hood: Well it looks like your boy is going to get his ass kicked, Smith.
Smith: For the 50th time Hood, He's not my "boy". We are merely acquaintances.
Hood: So you say, so you say.
~The action continues in the ring as Jared Black continues the offensive and picks up Reid, and wraps his arms around in a belly-to-belly position and executes an amazing high impact overhead belly-to-belly suplex, tossing the big man around the ring with ease. Black, not done with his opponent by a long shot goes directly over to him and picks him back up and whips him across the ring, Jared goes to running to the parallel ropes and bounces jumps on the second rope, bouncing off back towards the center of the ring where Reid has now made it to himself and nailing Reid with an amazing 540 kick that Black calls the Bastard Theory, sending Reid crashing to the mat. Jared Black goes for the cover.~
1...
2...
3…NO!
~At the last second Jared Black pulls up Reid from the mat and shakes his head no as the ref scolds Jared.~
Hood: Ugh! More drivel? Pin the jackass already!
Smith: For once Hood, I agree with you, this is ridiculous!
Hood: You're just mad that your boyfriend is getting his ass kicked.
Smith: You're being downright silly right now Hood.
~Jared Black slowly picks up Reid and turns him around where his back is facing Black. He wraps his arm around the throat of Reid and sets him up in a reverse ddt position, but turns it and hits a tremendous rolling cutter, Blackout, sending Reid crashing to the mat head and face first. Black then signals that it's over and goes for the pin~
1...
2...
3!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner...JARED BLACK!!!
Smith: Well that was completely unnecessary!
Hood: It looks like this rookie is wanting to show someone in the back office that he's here and means business.
Smith: I personally feel like he should be fined for excessive force and abuse.
Hood: You know that these guys are wrestling for peanuts right now...
Smith: I know the OCW doesn't have much money which is exactly why they should fine him!
Hood: No, honestly Smith, they're wrestling for a bag of Planter's Peanuts right now...
Smith: Dry roasted?
Hood: Plain
Smith: Wow, we’re in worse shape than I thought
Hood: I’m telling ya, it’s fucking bad.
~Suddenly, the iPad makes a noise indicating a new video message. We focus in on the iPad for a video feed into the office of President Dean, which is just the athletic director's office at the school that the OCW is currently using. Trophies of football and basketball championships can be seen lining the shelves as Dean sits behind the desk with stacks of paperwork in front of him, which obviously isn't any of his since he's not working on one thing. The door opens to the office as in walks a familiar well dressed man, Gavin Reed.~
Dean: What the hell are you doing here, sucka?
Gavin: Well Dean, my investors are very persistent.
Dean: Your investors had their opportunity. The OCW is doing just fine now!
Gavin: For the time being.
Dean: What is that supposed to mean?
Gavin: I'm just simply stating that you can only go so far in one region. But that's not why I'm here right now.
Dean: Then why the hell are you here?
Gavin: I wanted to meet this investor of yours that gave the OCW some much needed cash flow.
Dean: Well they don't want to meet you, hell they don't even want to meet the fans!
Gavin: Well it sounds like you have yourself a problem there Dean-O. I think the OCW needs to see who is backing their favorite wrestling organization!
Dean: That's up to them, not me...part of our agreement.
Gavin: Well I'm sure that we can get around that agreement...
Dean: Gavin, I don't need you here right now. There's too much going on. Pack your bags and go back to your investors and tell them that Dean is still not interested.
Gavin: You don't have to be that mean, Dean. Like I said, I'm not here for that. I just want to see how everything is going. I'll be around...
Dean: Don't cause any trouble Gavin.
Gavin: Why would I even do that? I'll see you later...nice chatting...
Dean: I wish I could say the same.
~The shot cuts back to ringside as Gavin turns and walks out of the office~
Smith: Gavin can’t let this one go…he was out bid…Dean took a better offer, get over it!
Hood: I don’t think it’s Gavin calling the shots here, Smith.
Smith: What do you mean?
Hood: His investors are obviously upset they were unable to get involved…so they are turning to Gavin for answers.
Smith: Oh, yea, that does make sense.
Hood: Just listen to me, kid and you’ll be okay.
~“Valentine” by Xandria rings throughout the high school gym as “The Ripper” Danny B walks into the ‘arena’ from the fan entrance, he saunters across the hardwood floor and past the crowd to ake his way to ringside. He stops by the commentators table to snarl at Hood before taking a microphone and a steel chair, placing both in the ring, sliding in behind them, setting the chair up and sitting down. ~
Danny: “So here we are again Ladies and gentlemen, from the best venue that OCW can afford, the Butthole High school in Backwards, Ohio! I really have no idea where we are, some jumped up crack head kid told me that on the way in here, I wouldn’t know, I had a driver you see, someone you pay to take you places, which reminds me, the owner of the blue two-thousand-and-one Ford Mondeo, you’re missing a rear windscreen, Dean is liable, ask him.
So, I’m here to address a little issue that was brought up last week, an issue brought up by Mr Mystery Investor, apparently there is only one man around these parts that’s considered ‘star power’, and that man is Marvellous Mickey Mouse. Now, I take a slight amount of offence to that, apparently the old has been is more valuable than a two time CWF world champion and fourteen time TICW champion. A man who’s wrestling career was in its twilight days before I even made it to America is more valuable than I. Well, that is rather funny to me, see I look round this band of rejects that this place has to offer, and the only shred of talent I see is either female or former CWF, and in one case both.
See there is a reason that I come in through your entrance and not from the um, back? It’s because I do not want to meddle with the filth that makes up this place, hell even former CWF number one contender Dangerous Dan seems to have gone soft in his time away from a real federation.
Ladies and gentlefolks, you’ll notice that while I sit here and run down the roster there is no one coming out to stop me, to beat me down for making fun of their fed, and that’s because they all know I’m right. Most of these guys are only here because they either know that it will be a walkthrough, or that they won’t be challenged too much by what this company has to offer. I’m the latter, by the way.
Ok, so I am here for very different reasons, a few people have asked, considering my disdain for the place why I signed in the first place. Three reasons, first was taken care last week, there is a long standing rivalry between Amber Ryan and I, and I wanted it done with, we would never settle it in the ring, so why keep trying? Secondly is to settle another old score, Dangerous Dan, I know you’re listening, you never got your CWF championship match, and I was the last, and greatest CWF champion of all time. The only man to have never lost the championship. You don’t get a shot at the old gold, but you get a shot at the champion, I wanna settle this like men, no investors, no bollocks, just mano y mano, and you can prove why you are a two time hall of famer. But thirdly, and here is the most important reason, I have always wanted to try many different angles in federations. I was the small fish in the pond, a pond which eventually found itself dominated by the shark growing inside of it. Then I was the Tiger shark in the ocean, plenty beneath me but still not the top, now, now I am no fish but a man, a man with a harpoon that is ready to take out anything living in the sea beneath me, not that place is sea, more like a puddle, but you get the metaphor. The moment I walked into this company last week I became the prime time, I became the focus, I became the one to watch and I became the star power this show needed.
President Deanlinquent, you know that in two weeks’ time my no contract clause I up, and then I get to run riot on this place, but just because I can’t compete between bells doesn’t mean that I can’t cause hell now!”
~Danny throws the mic in the direction of the crowd, and takes up the steel chair he was seated on, he climbs the turnbuckle and looks out at the small gym crowd that was tonight’s audience, before turning his attention to Hood on the announce desk, he mouths, ‘stay there creep’ before leaping off, and landing on his feet right besides Hood, who apparently has frozen in fear, as he doesn’t even turn his head. Ripper grabs the microphone from the ring announcer. ~
Danny: “Medic, nurse? I think he may have shit himself, there is an unbelievable smell coming from here. Anyways, I’m done giving old men heart attacks for the evening, and seeing as our illustrious boss decided to book us into a gym not a fucking bar again, I’m off for a drink. But I’m taking this with me.”
~He pats the steel chair, still in his hand.~
Danny: “And I’m bringing it with me next week, and I am going to play a game, how many OCW morons will find themselves floored by the sheer glow of Danny B, or you know, steel around the head. Sleep tight America!”
~Danny does exactly that, a slick smile across his face as he makes his way back through the entrance he came from.~
Smith: Strong words from Danny B!
Hood: I like this guy, Smith…once he’s cleared to compete…OCW better watch out.
Smith: Well, he’s certainly going to have a lot of backing up to do…he talks a big talk.
Hood: It’s pro wrestling, everyone talks a big talk.
Smith: What about Derek Jacobs?
Hood: Okay, maybe not him.
Smith: Hood, it’s iPad time!
Hood: Stupid fucking Apple
~The feed on the iPad shows backstage once again, with the now all too familiar Gavin Reed walking the halls of the school where dressing rooms are set up for different wrestler of the organization that are appearing on the show tonight. A catering table can be seen where Johnny Riot is grabbing a quick bite to eat. Gavin stops at the table and smiles politely at Riot. Riot sneers at the well dressed man.~
Riot: What the hell are you smiling at?
~Gavin looks around and wonders who exactly Riot is talking to. Obviously, nobody is around and Gavin turns back to Riot.~
Gavin: I was simply being polite and smiling at one of the members of the roster here in the OCW.
Riot: I don't need your politeness.
Gavin: I'm sorry, who are you again?
Riot: I'm...
Gavin: I honestly don't give a fuck who you are. Get your head out of your ass and start to wrestle and win. Only then can you have the attitude that you currently have towards people that you don't know. Prove yourself. To me you're just another low man on the totem pole here in the OCW, I'm sure shortly you'll have a reality check.
Riot: Who the hell do you think that you're talking to?
Gavin: I'm obviously talking to someone who does not have manners. Now if you can kindly point me into the direction of the new investors in the OCW I'll be happy to leave you.
Riot: Just get the fuck out of my face.
Gavin: Noted.
~With that said, Gavin leaves the catering table and continues down the hallway in search of the new OCW investor. We focus back on the announce table with the video feed coming to an end~
Smith: Guess what we have up next Hood!
Hood: I don't like playing guessing games with you, the last time I did that you showed me your pecker.
Smith: I did no such thing!
Hood: Maybe you're right, it might have been Dean.
Smith: He showed you? I thought that was our special game that we played!
Hood: ....
Smith: I digress, are you not going to guess?!
Hood: I'm at a loss for words.
Smith: It's another mixed wrestling match!
Hood: Fuck! Another fucking girl?! Is this fucking affirmative action bullshit that we're dealing with here in the OCW?
Smith: Don't be such a stick in the mud!
Belvedere: First, making his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225lbs and a disproportionate 5'8"...RICHARD!!!
Hood: Does this guy not have a last name?
Smith: Doesn't look like it.
Hood: What has the OCW came to?
~"In Too Deep" by Sum41 blares over the gymnasium speakers and out comes Richard, bobbing his head to the music. The fans honestly don't know what to think of Richard, nor does the rest of the people in the back, Dean must have seen something in him though to sign him. Richard saunters his way to the ring and climbs in as he starts to warm up before the match.~
Smith: He looks like he's ready for his OCW debut.
Hood: I don't think I'm ready.
Smith: Well you better be! We have his opponent coming out right now!
Belvedere: And his opponenet, weighing in 114lbs and she comes from New York, New York...TALON YOUNG!!!!
~"Fire" by Lacuna Coil starts to play and out comes Talon Young looking meek and hungry...for a win that is. She methodically makes her way to the ring and climbs in, under the middle rope. Richard looks at the newly hired OCW referee, the referee strugs as he calls for the bell and the match gets underway.~
Hood: Well look at the ass on that one! I'm not used to seeing an Asian chick with a nice ass.
Smith: You are so vulgar!
Hood: You love it and you know it...I need coffee though. Want some?
Smith: Absolutely! Black please!
Hood: You sure, this stuff is pretty strong.
Smith: Well yes silly! You know I like my coffee like I like my men. Strong and black.
Hood: I always knew something wasn't "right" with you.
Smith: Women! I meant women!
Hood: Too late to take it back! You need repentance.
Smith: And you need your mother to wash your mouth out with soap!
~The action has already begun in the ring as you see Hood exiting out the gym doors as the doors slam behind him. Richard has the upper hand, using his weight to his advantage. He has Talon backed into a corner as the ref come in and gets in between them. Richard lifts his arms up as he backs up, but not before he sends a thumb right to the left eye of Talon Young. The ref turns to see Talon holding her face and then turns his attention to Richard and begins to scold him. Richard agrees with the ref and apologizes but then goes right back to work on Young. Richard sends Talon running towards the opposite corner with an Irish whip and he follows right behind her, but Talon stops herself and grabs the top ropes of the corner and pushes herself up sending Richard sternum first into the corner. Talon twists her body around and wraps her legs around the back of Richard and hits a nice sunset flip and holds on for the pin~
1...
2...
No, too soon!
Smith: Talon's looking for the win early in the match today!
... .
Smith: Ummm...Hood? Where did you go?
~The action continues in the ring as Richard, now obviously annoyed gets to his feet about the same time as Talon Young does and runs towards her but Talon side steps which sends Richard sternum first into the corner yet again. Young seizes the opportunity and launches herself on the middle rope as Richard stumbles backwards from the corner. Talon jumps off the middle rope with a high kick that takes Richard right off of his feet and crashing down to the mat. Talon, wasting no time follows it up with some nice stiff kicks to the legs of Richard. She continues the assault and grabs both of Richard's legs and turns him over for a boston crab, but Richard is obviously too strong for her and reverses with just pure leg strength and sends her out of the ring where Hood has started to make his way through the gym doors, coming back to the announce table. He sees Talon on the floor and looks up at Richard who is eyeing the two of them. Hood shakes his head and wags his finger at Richard. He then sets his coffee down on one of the apron and helps Talon up and shows her to the direction of the ring. Hood picks up both of the coffees and places them in one arm. As Talon starts to get to the ring and Hood is walking by he slaps her on the ass, causing Talon to look back which gives Richard just enough time to get close to Talon with her back turned and reaching over the ropes he wraps his arm around her throat in a reverse ddt position, pulling her legs on the top of the rope and holding her up, ready to drop her on her head but Talon weasels her way out of it and floats over the top pushing him towards the ropes and as he comes back she chops the back of his leg sending him down to the mat holding his knee.~
Smith: What the hell did you just do?!
Hood: I told you she had a nice ass! I had to touch it!
Smith: That's considered sexual harassment! Didn't you take the course?
Hood: What course?
Smith: You're a lost cause.
~As the action progresses in the ring Talon, who scowling at Hood, refocuses her attention on Richard who is now making his way back to his feet. Before he can get all the way up though Talon comes charging in and connects with a shining wizard, sending Richard's back ricocheting off of ropes, helping him to his feet but he doesn't stand up too long, since Talon is already back on her feet and connects with a enziguri kick right to the back of Richard's skull.~
Smith: This Talon Young lady is a phenomenal athlete!
Hood: I'm bored. Can I go find some hookers yet and get my coke?
Smith: We are not done here yet! You don't get your special treats until after the show! That came straight from Dean's mouth.
Hood: Well we all know you two have been spending some quality time together this week.
Smith: Why yes we have, it's been a wonderful bonding experience. I couldn't ask for a better boss.
Hood: And I'm sure that he couldn't ask for a more submissive employee either.
~Talon Young has made her way onto the second turnbuckle, perched, waiting for Richard to get to his feet. Slowly Richard finally does make his way to his feet, not sure which way to turn, obviously dazed. He finally turns towards Talon Young who flies off of the second turnbuckle and executes a perfect flying ddt! Talon senses that the end is near and sees that Richard is laying on his back close to turnbuckle. She ascends the turnbuckles once again and climbs all the way to the top. She stops poses with her arms out wide and jumps off with a firebird splash making tremendous impact, a move that she calls Heavy Rain. She hooks the leg of Richard, which at this point is just for show.~
1...
2...
3!!!
Hood: WWWHHHYYYY!!!!!
Smith: She beat him fair and square!
Hood: Shut up Smith!
Belvedere: Here is your winner...TALON YOUNG!!!
~Talon who is obviously still upset about being touched inappropriately storms over to the announce table and walks up to Hood, standing on the other side of the table from him, Hood smiles and winks at her. Talon grabs the open cup of coffe and throws it on him as Hood squeals like a little school girl.~
Hood: That fucking whore!!
Smith: Did that teach you a lesson?
Hood: Yeah! That next time I should dickslap her across the face!
Smith: Uh oh, our iPad is telling us another video clip is ready to view…let’s take a look!
~ Leo the High School Intern focuses in on the video feed on OCW’s cracked iPad and we see Skytz heading over to a table of men who appear to be in an intense game of poker. One man slams his cards on the table on the table and gets up cussing and swearing like crazy.~
Man: Fuck this! you cheated you piece of shit!
~Another man gets up out of his chair, his back is turned to Skytz. The man slams the rest of his coors light beer before smashing it across the face of the poor loser. Blood starts to poor down the man's face as the other man grabs him and throws towards the bouncers.~
Man: Get that fucker out of here.
~The man sits back down, Skytz slowly pans around the table to see who the man is. Skytz comes across from the poker player as it reveals to be Roach.~
Roach: I don't know what the guy's fucking problem was, like who goes all in with 2-4 off suit. Like come on the guy was a joke!
~The table of drunks laugh. A waitress walks by, Roach reach's out and gives her a slap on the ass. She stops turns around and smiles at Roach.~
Waitress: What can I get you big man?
Roach: I'll take another brew, hell get everyone at this table another brew.
~Roach reaches in his pocket and pulls out some cash, he hands it to the waitress. As he hands it to the sexy waitress he pulls her closer and whispers something into her ear. The waitress walks away smiling. Skytz still has the camera on Roach as he is staring right at the waitresses ass.~
Skytz: Umm Mr. Roach ?
~Roach looks over at Skytz and smiles.~
Roach: How's it going, have you gotten laid yet since being in this bar?
Skytz: Umm no sir! I'm waiting for the right girl.
~The table of men start to laugh.~
Roach: Shit son you might be waiting for a long time, you need to get a little action before you get your sleeping beauty. What the hell are you doing over here anyways bugging me during my game of poker?
Skytz: I thought I should come get you before you get to caught in drinking. You do have your first match here tonight.
Roach: Come on now, I drink before every fucking match. I guarantee half the roster has a nice buzz on during their matches. Plus I'm in a hardcore match, the beer will take away most of the pain. Plus this match should be a breeze, I'm only fighting Johnny Riot.
~The waitresses walks over and places the beers that Roach ordered for everyone on the table. Roach winks at her as she walks away.~
Roach: Anyways......why don't you get the fuck out of here, I want to take all these hillbilly's money before I have my match tonight.
Skytz: Yes sir!
~We zoom out from the iPad as Leo focuses back on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Well, that was certainly interesting…not sure I’d advocate alcohol and or drug abuse before a big match.
Hood: Why the hell not?
Smith: Because it’s immoral, unethical and not conducive towards a winning strategy.
Hood: Dude, his name is Roach…why are you shocked?
Smith: I guess the sight of a wrestler before his match drinking caught me off guard.
Hood: You’ve been away from OCW for far too long.
~”Vodoo Child” by Jimi Hendrix strums up as the gymnasium crowd turn their attention towards the north entrance. OCW President Dean stands near the doors with an accomplished look on his face. He holds a red bag in his white hand and makes his way to the ring with the bag in tow. Dean walks up the steel steps and confidently enters into the ring. He shakes hands with Belvedere and Scruff before motioning for them to exit. Belvedere hands his mic over to Dean, allowing him a forum to speak. Dean, accustomed to having to wait for the crowd to die down stands in the ring for a moment…it dawns on him there’s no noise to speak over, so he begins his spiel~
President Dean: What’s up, Ohio!!! Damn, it’s great to be back here LIVE on Monday Night Massacre!
~A huge smile forms on Dean’s face as a light smattering of cheers echo throughout the gymnasium~
President Dean: Now, as you all are aware, last week we ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Part of that was resolved earlier tonight with the arrival of Mario Maurako. I know what you’re wondering why…why would I let go back on my word in less than two hours and rehire the guy who’s hell bent on killing OCW. Why would I turn to Maurako, the man who wants to kill OCW as the man to save it? Doesn’t make sense, does it?
~Dean pauses and scratches his forehead still wrestling with the fact he was forced to bring Maurako back to OCW~
President Dean: Well, folks…sometimes you have to compromise in the present to ensure your future. We were at a dead end last week, there was only one shot OCW had of surviving the moment Addiction 2 went off the air. That shot was a contract for private funding from a generous financier. Like most investments, you want to make damn sure the chances are high for at least an even return in the money you’ve forked over. Our financier felt the best way to give them that assurance was for OCW star power.
~The few fans boo a little, showing their disdain for Maurako and the perception Dean sold out by bringing him in~
President Dean: Suckas, I tried…I really, REALLY tried. I called Silverfreak…he’s running a midget circus down in New Mexico. I called Sex and Violence…Kelley is in prison for beating the hell out of a teen who tried to punch him on the street whereas Parker has contracted some strange sexual disease and is not allowed to wrestle in the United States. I reached out to Scott mother fucking Syren…
~A slight cheer emanates as Scott Syren is still remembered as the face of OCW~
President Dean: Yea, yea…I know. Turns out Syren is lost in South America somewhere with Clubbin Man and Liljungleman…they could be dead for all I know…bottom line is they weren’t available. Bottom line is I tried to find somebody…ANYBODY…but the lines were cold. Every former OCW superstar thought this great federation was a corpse lying six feet under and the ones that didn’t…they didn’t want to soil their reputation by competing in bars and high school gymnasiums. Guys…Maurako was literally the only choice I had…it was either Maurako or no OCW.
~Dean takes a big swallow, perhaps swallowing the hurt and pain he’s feeling reliving all the rejections and failures over the past week of bringing some of his former superstars in. Guys he once viewed as friends…he shakes it off and turns his focus to something more positive~
President Dean: So, the dick bag is in OCW…fine, I’m sure he’ll get what’s coming to him sooner rather than later. I’d rather look to the future…and, suckas, that bitch is bright! We owe it all to our anonymous financier…and, yes, I know you’re all wondering who the wonderful person behind this generous offer is and I’d love nothing more than to tell you…but…this person wishes to remain anonymous. Their reason for financing our last attempt at revival is simple…to give something back to the sport that has given them everything.
~The fans applaud the purity behind the financier’s decision~
President Dean: The deal I’ve signed runs until the end of February…which means we’ve got basically a month to kick this into high gear and right the ship. This is not the time to hold anything back…I don’t care if you’re the announce team, ring announcer, referee, ringside security, camera guy, wrestlers in the back or even myself, the owner…now’s the time to lay it all out there. If we don’t make our financier’s venture worthwhile by the end of February…it’s over…done. OCW will be closed, forever.
~The fans throw a light cheer Dean’s way…Dean looks at the employees around him, Hood, Smith, Scruff, Belvedere and even Arryk…they all seem to get the message~
President Dean: From now until our contract expires, we will be touring the central part of the United States. This region is the home base for our anonymous financier and in an effort to keep costs down, we’re going to only compete in the following states: North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio and Kentucky. I doubt we will hit all those states…actually, I’m sure we won’t, it’s physically impossible…but we will do our best. At the end of February, we will culminate all of our efforts and hard work into our first PPV in years…Resurrection.
~Dean reaches into the red bag and unearths a championship belt we’ve never seen before. He drops the bag to his side and holds the title up for a moment for everyone to see. Our view zooms in as we see the words “Central Championship” embedded into the gold plate. Dean then tosses the title over his shoulder and continues~
President Dean: That, my friends, is the OCW Central Championship. It will be decided at the main event of Resurrection between the two best competitors in OCW. I’m going to be watching the roster closely in an effort to figure out who those two will be. Just keep in mind…it’s the two best…that doesn’t mean the two best records. I know better than most anyone can suffer a fluke loss during any given match…so don’t let one loss discourage you. Keep fighting and clawing…you could wind up the Central Champion at the end of February.
~The fans clap~
President Dean: Now…seeing as how we’re laying it all out there, this championship match can’t be an ordinary match. No, this match needs to have a special stipulation and I have four to choose from. Four gimmick matches I’ve either used or have had stored away for a special occasion. The first match to choose from will be a Reverse Street Fight match…rules in this are pretty simple. The two competitors start outside the arena…in order to win, you have to pin, submit or knock out your opponent in the middle of the ring.
~The fans are intrigued by this match stip~
President Dean: Our second match is a steel cage ladder match. This is pretty much what it sounds like…two competitors shut inside a cage…the door will not be locked as they will have to move about in and out of the cage…with the title hanging high above the ring. The belt will actually be a little above eye level from the top of the cage. Ladders will be outside of the cage, forcing the competitors to exit the cage to retrieve one. In order to win, a competitor has to secure the title and exit the cage with it.
~The fans clap and Dean throws up three fingers~
President Dean: Our third stipulation…a match made famous in ICWF when my protégé, Derek Mobley, took on Andy Murray’s protégé, Theo Mason. The House of Mirrors match. An elimination chamber type structure will be lowered around the ring with six pods. Three of the four sides of these pods will be covered with steel. The fourth side will be covered by a mirror. Behind the mirror, inside five of these pods are various weapons. Behind the mirror and inside one of the pods is the Central championship. Whoever secures the title and exits the pod with it, wins.
~Fans can imagine that match being quite gory which leads to excitement as well as horror~
President Dean: And, finally, an OCW original…a match made famous by Silver Cyanide and Andy Murray…the Hazardous Ladder Match. The only Hazardous Ladder Match in OCW history, between Cyanide and Murray, is arguably the greatest match in OCW history. A title hangs high above the ring with three ladders ringside. Two are faulty…one is true. If you scale a faulty ladder, it breaks halfway up. The first wrestler to use the correct ladder and secure the title wins.
~Dean takes in a deep breath as all of these explanations was quite a mouth full. He regains himself and closes things out~
President Dean: A poll will be posted online at the end of our broadcast…fans and wrestlers, cast your vote for the match which will headline the OCW Central Championship match at Resurrection which will take place live, Sunday, February 23rd. Fans, wrestlers and employees…we’ve got a new lease on life…an extended shot at picking ourselves up and achieving our goal. If we work together and give it everything we’ve got, I have no doubt we can get this done. So, what do you suckas say? Let’s fucking do this!
~Half of the fans stand and cheer while mothers and the like cover their young children’s ears. Dean holds the OCW Central Championship up in the air and then exits the ring as “Voodoo Child” by Jimi Hendrix starts up again. We focus back on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Wow, Hood…what a month we have in store!
Hood: Huh? What? Oh, he’s done…man that took for fucking ever.
Smith: Well you missed some exciting announcement…a new PPV, our first in over ten years named Resurrection which takes place February 23rd. An OCW Central Championship…four gimmick matches…the hair on the back of my neck is standing!!!
Hood: Calm down there spazz…did he say where we’re going next? Los Angeles? Las Vegas? San Diego?
Smith: Oh, heavens no…we’re staying in the Central portion of the United States for at least the next month. So, you know, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska…
Hood: Mother fucker! Those states suck balls in the summer…they suck horse cock during January and February…what the hell is Dean trying to do to me? Give me the bird flu AND hypothermia…I can only take so much.
Smith: Okay Mr. Negative…if you quit, then what?
Hood: I hate you.
Smith: Exactly…okay, folks…as big of an announcement as that was…it’s nothing without the in ring action to back it up…so let’s get ready for our next exciting encounter!!
Johnny Riot (1-0) vs. Roach (0-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and is a special Hardcore Rules contest!! Introducing first, from Windsor, Ontario Canada…standing 6’4” and weighing in at 265lbs…Roach!!!
~”King Nothing” by Metallica fires up as Roach emerges from the south entrance of the gymnasium. With him is a wheeled rack. It holds a basketball, hockey stick, basketball goal net, baseball bat, football helmet and a discus. He wheels the rack up to the ring before climbing the steps and entering. The fans look on, not knowing much about Roach…in response he sticks his tongue out at them as a sign of disrespect. They begin to boo the man. Suddenly, “Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast” by Airbourne begins to play with Johnny Riot entering from the north entrance. He’s carrying simply himself to the ring. The fans quit booing Roach and, instead, focus their boos on Riot~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Erie, Pennsylvania…standing 6’2” and weighing in at 235lbs…Johnny Riot!!!!
~Smith holds up his small golden gavel as Belvedere exits the ring a little quicker before this match. Hood glares at the gavel with an unending fury of hatred. Smith dings the bell three times, beginning the match. Riot, who has entered the ring looks over at the rack on wheels and back at Roach. Roach smiles and motions for Riot to select his weapon of choice…Riot responds by looking back at Roach, attempting to break down the situation~
Smith: This is certainly an interesting start to a hardcore match.
Hood: Yea, Roach seems more than happy to share his toys with Riot.
Smith: I believe those are all owned by the Brunswick High School, actually.
Hood: What the fuck ever…either way, this Roach guy is interesting…he seems right at home in an environment like this.
Smith: Ironically, it was Johnny Riot who requested a hardcore contest.
Hood: Looks like Dean-o gave him the right opponent then.
Smith: Indeed.
~Riot takes Roach’s offer and heads towards the ropes…suddenly, though, Riot bolts for Roach, who is caught unsuspectingly and begins to unleash a flurry of lefts and rights to the head of Roach. Roach tries to fight back, but Riot has the upper hand via the element of surprise. Roach is backed into a corner. Riot lifts a couple of knees, keeping Roach in the corner and inflicting some pain at the same time. Riot climbs to the middle rope and begins to punch away to the bald head of Roach. Roach, though, being the bigger man reaches up and hooks Riot’s legs and lifts him into powerbomb position. Riot continues to punch away, not liking this turn of events. Roach walks him into the middle and begins to stagger from Riot’s punches. He lets Riot go and Riot lands on his feet. Riot kicks the right leg out from under Roach. Roach falls to one knee, Riot the hooks Roach’s head under his arm and drills him with a DDT in the middle of the ring~
Smith: Fast paced to start this hardcore brawl!
Hood: Johnny Riot is no idiot…he saw Roach was setting a trap for him and beat him to the punch.
Smith: Indeed he did although Roach almost powerbombed Riot in the middle of the ring.
Hood: I guess…kind of like how you almost get a Hooters waitress phone number.
Smith: Those girls are super friendly. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Hood: Tips, bitch.
~Riot heads for the ropes and climbs through them landing on his feet outside of the ring. He observes the rack and picks up the hockey stick. He places it back down. Riot is having a tough time finding the object he wants to use. Roach, meanwhile, is back on his feet and spots Riot with his back to the ring, looking over the weapons. Roach rushes over there and grabs Riot by the hair. Riot instinctively grabs the first item he can get his hands on, the basketball. With both hands, he slings it over his head and smashes Roach in the face with it. Roach squints his eyes and staggers back, releasing his hold of Riot’s hair. Riot then turns around, reaches back and hurls the ball at Roach. It smacks him right in the face! Roach staggers against the ropes holding his face in pain~
Smith: Excellent aim there by Johnny Riot!
Hood: No shit and that ball had a lot of air in it…I bet that shit hurt!
Smith: We’re getting hardcore!
Hood: Calm down, it was only a basketball.
~Riot picks up the football helmet and puts it on. He then grabs the baseball bat and enters the ring. Roach continues to lean against the ropes, gathering himself after the many shots he’s taken to the head to start this match~
Smith: Johnny Riot is upping the ante
Hood: Okay, I am officially picking Johnny Riot to win this.
Smith: What? You can’t do that mid match!
Hood: You bet your ass I can.
~Roach finally looks towards Riot and sees him with the helmet on, carrying a baseball. Instantly, Roach knows he’s in trouble. Riot rushes over and takes a vertical hack at Roach with the bat. Roach darts out of the way and the bat slams into the top rope….it bounces off violently causing Riot to stagger back…Roach reaches up and yanks the bat out of Riots hands. Riot turns around and Roach drills him in the head with the bat. Riot stumbles to the side but seems mostly unharmed. Roach hits him again and again and again…finally, the bat shatters in half. Riot, on the other hand, continues to move forward towards Roach. Roach drops the shattered halves on the mat, reaches out and grasps the facemask of Riot’s helmet. He yanks the shit out of it, violently sending Riot to the mat~
Smith: Take your opponent’s advantage and make it a disadvantage…smart wrestling by Roach.
Hood: Sure is and I’m glad you didn’t take the easy lame ass NFL…
Smith: That, my friend would be a fifteen yard penalty in the NFL…but this isn’t the NFL…this is OCW!
Hood: Moron.
~Roach stomps on Riot’s head, but the helmet shields the majority of the impact. Riot gets back to his feet as Roach is trying to figure out a way to neutralize this advantage. Riot suddenly leans forward and head butts Roach in the chest. Roach grabs his chest in pain, emitting a loud cough. Riot takes a few steps back as Roach is near corner, lowers his head and charges in like a battering ram. Roach moves out of the way and Riot head butts the middle turnbuckle. He wobbles out and Roach goes to the mat and rolls Riot up~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Whew, close one there!
Hood: Sure was. Riot is relying too damn much on that helmet.
Smith: Indeed!
~Roach gets to his feet first and kicks Riot in the gut, who’s on all fours trying to get to his feet. Riot falls to the mat, lying face first. Roach kicks Riot over onto his back, bends over and grabs the facemask once again. He places his foot on Riot’s chest and, with both hands wrapped tightly around the facemask, leans back with all his strength. The facemask pops off! Roach falls back onto the mat and winds up in a sitting position. He looks into his right hand and sees the face mask. Riot sits up and finds the helmet has been altered sideway, covering his face after the torque Roach put on it to rip the facemask off. He gets to his feet and struggles to turn it around so he can see again. Roach gets to his feet as well and stands in front of Riot with the facemask in his right hand, waiting. Riot finally turns the helmet around where he can see and is greeted with a stiff right hand, facemask first, into his face by Roach. Riot clutches his face in pain and falls back into the nearest corner. Roach hurls the facemask out of the ring and heads towards the corner after a wounded Riot~
Smith: Yikes!! I can’t imagine that felt good at all!
Hood: I bet he busted him up with that right hand...I wish he’d move his damn hands, let’s see some mother fucking blood.
Smith: My first night back and we’re already resorting to violence…my word.
Hood: Welcome back, Smith.
~Roach grabs the bottom of Riot’s helmet and rips it off of his head. Riot stumbles out of the corner from the momentum as Roach steps aside, holding the helmet. Riot turns around, instinctively to go after Roach responds by walloping Riot upside the head with the helmet!! Riot falls to the mat holding the side of his head in pain. Roach the slams the helmet into the forehead of Riot while he’s on the mat! Riot’s legs go limp as Roach tosses the helmet out of the ring and goes for a pin. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Sooooo close!!
Hood: Fucking Roach, man…that guy is brutal.
Smith: Indeed…especially considering the high school banned his personal inventory of weapons.
Hood: Yea, stupid high schools and their rules and regulations. Oh well, he made due…you know the old saying, right?
Smith: I’m afraid I don’t.
Hood: Where there’s a Roach, there’s a way.
Smith: Sure.
~Roach glares at Scruff who stands up and backs away, wanting no part of this borderline psychotic wrestler. Roach heads outside for the rack of weapons. Riot, meanwhile, rises to a sitting position. His face has turned a crimson color from a gash in his forehead, likely due to the facemask blow he suffered moments earlier. He runs his hand over his face and stares at his bloody palm. He wipes it on the mat and gets to his feet, angrily. Meanwhile, on the outside, Roach has the basketball net and hockey stick. His back is to the ring as he didn’t expect Riot to recover so quickly. Riot rushes over and delivers a baseball slide under the bottom rope, drilling Roach in the back. Roach falls forward into the rack, knocking it over. He drops the hockey stick and the net in an effort to break his fall. Riot then heads for the nearest corner~
Smith: Uh oh, here we go.
Hood: This is what happens when you put two psychos in a hardcore match…
Smith: Well, Riot is undefeated through one match and Roach is making his debut…both men want and need to win this match.
Hood: No doubt…the real winner though, is Dean. No medical means he isn’t responsible for their hospital bills afterward.
Smith: Indeed!
~Riot climbs to the top rope and looks down at Roach, who is on all fours, attempting to get back to his feet. Riot leaps off the top rope and crashes all the way down with a leg drop across the back of Roach’s head and neck!!! Roach slams face first into the thin sheet covering the basketball court and immediately grabs his face in pain as the few hardcore fans in the crowd cheer as loud as they can. Riot gets to his feet and grabs the back of his leg painfully, he yells a few obscenities as he kicks the leg around in an effort to get it functioning properly~
Smith: As much as that hurt Roach, it took its toll on Riot as well.
Hood: Yep, but these hardcore fuckers don’t care…it’s like they can’t actually win a match without nearly losing an arm or something.
Smith: Well, Riot is succeeding in that category!
~Riot stabilizes his leg and then bends over, clutching the hockey stick. He grips it tightly, waiting for Roach to get to his feet. Roach is using the steps ringside as support before he finally makes it to his feet. Roach looks up and his nose is busted from the impact of Riot’s leg drop. Riot quickly drills him in the midsection with the hockey stick! Roach doubles over, Riot then lifts the stick up and smacks Roach in the face. Roach stumbles back into the metal bleachers ringside! A few of the fans scatter as to not touch the sweaty, bloody wrestler. Riot rushes over with the stick over his head, he comes down with it and Roach rolls out of the way. The hockey stick shatters against the bleachers. Roach throws a punch at Riot, Riot blocks it with one hand and uses his other hand, which is holding the bottom part of the hockey stick and slams Roach in the side of the head with it! Riot tosses that portion of the stick aside as Roach collapses into the bottom row of the bleachers~
Smith: OCW fans are getting a firsthand experience of what our in ring action has to offer!
Hood: That’s out of ring action, Smith…can’t you see where the fucking ropes are?
Smith: Sorry, I’m a little rusty.
Hood: No shit.
~Riot grabs Roach’s head and begins to repeatedly slam it into the bleachers, leaving a thick, red puddle behind. He yanks Roach out of the bleachers and drags his tired body towards the ring. He hurls Roach into the ring and then heads for the fallen rack. He grabs the discus and slides under the bottom rope, gets to his feet and waits for Roach to get back to his~
Smith: If he connects with that this match is over.
Hood: This is a straight up ass kicking…Roach needs to get his shit together.
Smith: And we need someone to disinfect those bleachers immediately.
Hood: True, Roach looks like a bare backer to me.
Smith: I wouldn’t know anything about that!
~Roach finally reaches his feet and Riot takes a wild swing with the discus, aiming for Roach’s head. Roach ducks, Riot twirls around and Roach lifts him up in the air and drops him with a sidewalk slam onto the mat! Riot drops the discus and arches his back in pain as Roach remains in a seated position, checking his nose~
Smith: Nice counter by Roach…had Riot hit that, this match would have been over.
Hood: No shit, I’ve never been hit by a discus but I’m told it fucking hurts.
Smith: Who told you that?
Hood: A true journalist never reveals his sources.
Smith: Whatever!
~Roach gets to his feet and yanks Riot to his, he lifts Riot high up in the air and drops him with a huge last ride!!! Riot is left lying on the mat with Roach covering him for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another kick out by Riot…how many times has he narrowly avoided defeat?
Hood: A few, I guess?
Smith: That works
~Roach yanks Riot to his feet, ready to end this. He lifts Riot up and places him on his shoulders in an F5 position. He flings Riot into the air, Riot, however, is able to control his movement and come down hooking Roach’s head under his arm. He then kicks off the ropes and delivers a tornado DDT to Roach in the middle of the ring!! Roach rolls over on his back, with blood oozing out of both nostrils. He breaths heavily through his mouth as Riot crawls over and makes the pin. Scruff avoids the blood for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Roach is still in this!
Hood: His nose is all kinds of fucked up.
Smith: Would you say fifty shades of messed up?
Hood: Are you trying to work that gay ass novel into our commentary somehow?
Smith: Hey, that book is high quality literature.
Hood: Bull….shit
~Riot gets to his feet and makes his way into the nearest corner. He rests his bloody face on the turnbuckle for a moment, gathering his breath. He then begins to climb. Roach remains on the ground, motionless. Riot gets to the top and measures Roach up. He gathers himself and then leaps off with a Shooting Star Press! Roach, however, gets his knees up and Riot’s face lands right onto them!! Riot’s head snaps back as he clutches his face in pain with blood oozing down his hands~
Smith: Oh My Goodness!!
Hood: Geezus…that…well, that’s going to hurt in the morning
Smith: And right now
Hood: And probably next week too
Smith: I guess Riot won’t be getting any play tonight.
Hood: Not from a human.
~Roach gets to his feet and picks Riot up off the mat. He hoists Riot onto his shoulders again for another F5. He twirls Riot off of his shoulders and while Riot is in midair, hooks him and drops him with a DDT into the mat!!! Riot’s body goes limp as Roach makes the pin, Scruff administers the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell sounds as “King Nothing” by Metallica begins to play. Roach checks his nose, the bone is visibly moving after having been broken. He snorts a couple wads of blood out as Scruff helps him up and raises his arm in victory~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ROACH!!!!!
~Roach exits the ring as Riot has now returned to a seated position. His face is masked in blood and he slaps the mat in frustration. Riot is visibly upset that he lost the match and slowly exits the ring~
Smith: Brutal, hardcore, close match.
Hood: No shit, those guys laid it all out there…it seemed like Riot had it in the bag and then just let it slip away.
Smith: Indeed, Riot may have got a little overconfident with Roach…I don’t know…nevertheless, Roach capitalized and came away the winner in his debut.
Hood: Fucking tough match to win…an even tougher one to lose.
Smith: True, but I’m sure Riot will bounce back…he’s got talent.
~Everything calms down ringside allowing a student to enter into the ring from one of the stands. He gets no applause, the kid is obviously not popular. Belevedere hands him a microphone~
Student: Okay you guys, I’m just here to announce that the annual science fair is only a few weeks away and sign ups are underway…if you’d like to sign up…
~A loud, slow drum roll sounds throughout the arena, followed by bagpipes. Two men in hooded cloaks emerge from seemingly nowhere…one sounding a large drum strapped over his back and the other playing bagpipes. Behind them are two other hooded men wheeling a giant circular object. The middle of it is a bunch of squiggly lines which could cause vertigo or something like that if stared at long enough~
Student: Umm, excuse me…I was promised this time slot…
~The circular object comes to a stop and thereafter the bagpipes and drum cease~
Student: Thank you…now, like I was saying…
~A loud KABOOM or EXPLOSION or something like that breaks everyone’s concentration as the circular pattern has been shattered! A person emerges from behind it in a giant metal armored suit, complete with a helmet and face mask. In one hand is a sword with a lightning bolt shaped blade. In the other is the end of a leash. Tied to that leash is a human wrapped in black leather from head to toe. He hops around like he’s trying to break free. The being smacks the man on the leash in the head with his sword, calming him down.~
Smith: What the…
Hood: This is some crazy S&M shit…people in Ohio are freaks.
~The being makes his way to the ring, rather clumsily as it’s hard to maneuver in that giant suit. He walks up the steps and uses his lightning sword to part the ropes enough for him to enter. Once in, he releases his leashed human. It tackles the high school student. The high school student fights back and gets to his feet. He kicks the leathered thing in the head, knocking it out. The man in the armored suit shakes his head and approaches the high school kid. He has his fists up, ready to give it his best. He’s suddenly nailed in the crotch with the lightning sword! He doubles over in pain. The armored suit person hooks the teen, lifts him up and powerbombs him over the top rope and to the outside. The fans in the crowd cringe in pain…but none seem too upset…like we established, this kid is far from popular. The armored man then picks up his leashed pet, person…whatever and hurls it over his shoulder. He exits the ring and walks back into his shattered portal object. The drum and bagpipes begin to play as they all usher off and exit the gym. The crowd is left wondering what the hell just happened~
Smith: Medical attention is obviously needed for the kid ringside.
Hood: Yea, too bad we don’t have any.
Smith: Indeed.
Hood: I guess I’m not the only one in this gymnasium who hates science fairs.
Smith: That doesn’t surprise me.
Hood: Is that stupid thing beeping again?
Smith: Oh, why yes it is…thanks for noticing!
~Focusing in on the iPad video, we see a Rolls Royce Phantom sits in the parking lot in view of Brunswick High school, Danny B sits atop, cross legged, drawing from a cigarette, a six pack of desperados beer besides him. A man in his thirties stumbles towards the car, adorning a t-shirt with the slogan ‘It’s till real to me dammit!’.~
Danny: “What the fuck do you want?”
Man: “You, I heard you in there, trashing the OCW…hic… what habe they ev done to you, theys good peoples…”
Danny: “Get the fuck away from my car.”
~The man stumbles ever closer .~
Danny: “Last warning fucktard”
Man: No, not until you apologise for being a bad man.
~The man finds himself hit square inbetween the eyes with an empty bottle, as he realises what has just happened, Danny appears behind him, charging and him through the back window of the car, the fan hangs limply from the window frame, before being pulled from it by an aggressive Ripper, who slams the fan onto the ground with a sickening RKS. Danny spots two security running towards him.~
Danny: “Alfred, the car may need some work.” Danny leaps into the back seat of the car through the damaged window as the V10 engine roars into life and backs out the school parking lot at speed, and disappears into the night.
~We pull away from the iPad and back on Hood and Smith~
Smith: That poor fan…merely sticking up for this once beloved federation and Danny B just assaulted him for it!
Hood: That guy was loitering around Ripper’s car…who knows what he had up his sleeve…could’ve been a break in, a car jacking…a parking lot assault. Ripper was simply protecting himself.
Smith: If you think that guy is any kind of a threat outside of a video game convention or comic book flea market, then you’re sadly mistaken.
Hood: Never judge a book by its cover, Smith.
Smith: Ha! That’s funny coming from you
Hood: I don’t see how that’s funny…but, then again, you’re a moron
Smith: I’m going to ignore that and toss us into our next match…Crazy Chris looks to continue the Danger Boiz momentum against impressive newcomer, Victor Slade!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall…
~”Seek and Destroy” by Metallica fires up as the fans turn and see the ominous, dark and intimidating Victor Slade emerge from the south entrance and methodically make his way to the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Mexico City, Mexico…standing 6’7” and weighing in at 325lbs… “The Wolf” Victor Slade!!!
~Slade enters the ring and walks past an unwavering Belvedere. Scruff, however, gives Slade his distance. Slade’s theme fades out and immediately “Demons” by Imagine Dragons begins to play with the fans cheering as loud as they can for the fan favorite and GCWA Hall of Famer, Crazy Chris. He rushes down to the ring with his brother, Dangerous Dan, right behind him~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Smithville, Tennessee…standing 6 feet tall and weighing in at 228 lbs…he is a GCWA Hall of Famer…Crazy Chris!!!
~Belvedere exits the ring as Chris slides in under the bottom rope and rushes to a corner where he climbs to the top and poses for the crowd. They clap for the fan favorite. His music comes to an end as he hops down onto the ring mat and turns around, facing Slade. Smith sounds the bell with his golden miniature gavel as Hood does all he can to not grab it from him. Chris and Slade size each other up as Dan cheers from ringside~
Smith: This should be a good one!
Hood: Yea, Crazy Chris has finally met someone uglier than he is.
Smith: That’s rude! You gotta love these Danger Boiz…always there for each other.
Hood: Seriously, what the fuck is Dan doing out there? Does he not think his brother can do it on his own?
Smith: Family support, Hood. Haven’t you heard of it?
Hood: I don’t believe in families.
~Chris goes into a frenzy holding nothing back by unleashing a flurry of rights and lefts on Slade. The big man staggers back but shows little to no effect. He reaches out and grabs Chris around the neck, immobilizing him. Slade forces him into the middle of the ring as Chris grabs Slade’s wrists, trying to break the grip he has around Chris’ neck. Slade lifts Chris up, Chris kicks his legs and nails Slade in the gut a couple of times. Slade tosses Chris away, Chris lands awkwardly on his feet but seems okay. He runs into the ropes, bounces off and leaps in the air for a cross body on Slade. Slade catches him and hurls Chris over his head with a fall away slam! Chris goes through the ropes and lands hard on the outside. Dan walks over there and looks down at his brother, debating if he should check on him or not~
Hood: Get that cheating Dangerous Dan out of there!
Smith: Wait…what do you mean you don’t ‘believe’ in families?
Hood: I don’t believe in families, their existence is a falsity to me.
Smith: Wait…what? Are you serious?
Hood: I’m always serious, Smith.
~Slade makes his way to the outside as Dan looks down with concern on his brother, who is slowly getting to his feet. Slade glares at Dan who looks up at Slade. Scruff hops out there and warns Dan to not get involved. Dan backs away, not wanting to get his brother disqualified. Slade, still looking at Dan, smiles and starts to stomp on Chris as he’s pretty much helpless and on the ground…Dan’s frustration grows as his big brother instincts to jump in for the save are kicking in~
Hood: Victor Slade is awesome, I’d like to hang with that guy.
Smith: What about your family? Are you telling me they didn’t exist?
Hood: Exactly…they were more like roommate or co-inhabitants or what the fuck ever…people I dealt with until I could get a job.
Smith: So you didn’t love your siblings?
Hood: Fuck no, those bastards were always stealing my toys and drinking the last soda in the fridge. I hope they burn in hell.
Smith: I certainly hope they aren’t watching this broadcast!
Hood: I highly doubt that, they are both deaf.
~Slade lifts Chris up and body slams him onto the hard floor! Chris arches his back in pain as Slade glares back at Dan. Dan starts to make his way over there, but Scruff gets in his way, stopping him. As he does, Slade jams his giant foot on Chris’ throat, choking the life out of him. Chris kicks his feet and grabs Slade’s foot, but can’t muster up the strength to remove it. Fans near begin to boo as Slade pays them no attention and seems to press harder with each jeer~
Hood: Look at Dangerous Dan! Look at him trying to cheat! These Danger Boiz are up to no good, Smith!
Smith: Okay, your mother…surely you loved your mother, right?
Hood: My mother had problems, Smith…I’d rather not go into them on air.
Smith: Oh, wow…alcoholism? I didn’t know, Hood…I’m sorry.
Hood: No, charity…she was always volunteering to help people like the Danger Boiz and that dumpster diving ref. It made me sick.
Smith: Whatever!
~Slade finally lifts Chris to his feet as Dan is standing near the steel ring steps. They are between Dan and the action. Slade grabs Chris by the back of his head and looks at Scruff. Scruff darts out of the way as Slade hurls Chris into the steel ring steps! Chris hits hard and summersaults over them, landing right at Dan’s feet. Dan looks down at his brother who is holding his knees in pain. Scruff rushes in and places his hands in Dan’s chest, slowly pushing him away from Chris as Slade makes his way to the ailing superstar~
Hood: Look at Dan trying to get involved! He just can’t stay away from Chris…damn trouble maker.
Smith: Your dad? Surely you were a daddy’s boy, right?
Hood: What the fuck did you call me? Are you saying I’m some kind of pervert?
Smith: No, no, no…I mean you took after your father as a child.
Hood: That guy? No fucking way…he was very abusive.
Smith: Oh no…that explains a lot, actually…
Hood: Always waking me up early on Sunday’s for church…please, don’t get me started on that man.
~Slade walks over the steps and sees Chris with his hands on the apron, attempting to get to his feet. Slade knees Chris in the gut, sending him falling right back to the ground. Scruff finally has Dan at a comfortable distance and begins to administer a ten count. Dan rolls his eyes, realizing Scruff is doing a terrible officiating job. Slade lifts Chris to his feet and hurls him into the ring under the bottom rope. He gets on the apron and enters. Chris has surprisingly made it to his feet and turns to attack Slade. Slade, however, lifts his leg and drills Chris with a big boot!! Chris falls to the mat face first. Slade rolls him over and pins Chris. Scruff has to re-enter the ring before he can count…he gets in position and makes the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!
Hood: Look at that ref! Look at him and his scruffy face! He’s on the take! He’s totally one sided in favor of the Danger Boiz!
Smith: You know, Hood…it sounds like you actually had a very nice upbringing.
Hood: For fucks sake, can we stop bringing up painful memories of my childhood?
Smith: I’d like to meet them someday.
Hood: You would! You’re like the bastard brother I never had…son of a bitch.
~Slade gets to his feet and yanks Chris back to his. He whips Chris into a corner, Chris hits hard. Slade charges in, but Chris gets a boot up!! It drills Slade right in the head! Slade staggers back as Chris quickly climbs to the second rope. He leaps off with a flying clothesline and hits Slade with it! Slade falls to one knee in the middle of the ring, trying to shake the cob webs off. Chris quickly gets back to his feet and runs into the ropes, he bounces off and nails Slade with a dropkick!! Finally the big man goes down as Chris remains lying on the mat, catching his breath~
Smith: Crazy Chris with a tremendous flurry of action there! Unbelievable!
Hood: Oh, so NOW you’re interested in doing your job rather than playing Sigmund fucking Freud.
Smith: Hey, come on, admit it…that was exciting!
Hood: You will not force feed me Danger Boiz propaganda
~Chris gets to his feet as well as Slade, negating the advantage he had just earned. Slade is leaning against the ropes, still feeling some of the effects from Chris’ previous barrage. Chris rushes at Slade, Slade however puts his head down and lifts Chris over the top rope! Chris goes flying over the top rope and crashes onto the outside!! He smacks hard against the wood floor and is left barely moving. His left hand has landed near the basketball net which was never picked up from the previous hardcore match~
Hood: Son of a bitch, he’s reaching for a weapon! Scruff, do your damn job!
Smith: He just landed there, it was purely coincidence!
Hood: Is it, Smith? Huh? IS IT??
Smith: No more coffee for you mister!
~Slade makes his way outside as does Scruff. The fans grow anxious at Scruff’s seeming lack of knowledge in regards to the basic rules of wrestling. He continues to watch Dan who is standing at a safe distance. Slade, with Scruff’s back to him, grabs the basketball net and begins to choke Chris with it. Chris’ waves his arms around trying to free himself but Slade is too strong. Dan begins to freak out as Scruff rushes over to prevent him from getting involved~
Hood: Dangerous Dan is trying to attack our referee!
Smith: No he is not! He’s trying to get a bit of justice here…Slade is choking Chris out with that net!
Hood: He’s simply defending himself, Chris was about to use that net and who knows what else under that ring to harm Slade.
Smith: Oh Bee Ess!
~Slade finally finishes choking Chris out just before Scruff can turn around. Scruff finally starts a ten count as Dan is pleading with him to do his job. Slade rolls Chris back into the ring and climbs up on the apron. Dan continues yelling at the ref, Slade turns his attention to Dan and stares right at him. Dan holds his arms out, not afraid of Slade. Chris, meanwhile, has somehow got back to his feet in the ring. He sees Slade taking his eye off the ring and sprints towards the ropes. He runs into Slade and sends Slade flying into the bleachers!! Slade lands hard as a mother spills popcorn everywhere. A small child has his nachos destroyed and seems upset by it. The other fans are cheering for Chris as Dan claps from ringside~
Hood: Two against one, Smith…Slade never had a chance.
Smith: What are you talking about? This entire match Slade has been cheating and using underhanded tactics to keep Chris down.
Hood: Can you blame him? He’s had to fight Crazy Chris, Dangerous Dan, Scruff McDougall and a plate of nachos…shit’s rough on ole Victor Slade.
Smith: Did those nachos have cheese on them?
Hood: Yes, Smith…they are nachos, not a tray of chips.
Smith: The processed kind…that you get a movie theater.
Hood: Fuck yes
Smith: I’m getting some
Hood: Wait...
~Chris leans on the ropes, gathering himself as Slade remains in the bleachers, obviously stinging from the fall. Chris clutches the top rope and propels himself onto the top rope…he displays great balance standing there for a moment before leaping off and a performing a sort of half swanton all the way onto the bleachers, landing on Slade! The entire bleacher section rolls several feet back from the impact as fans on the side jump off out of fear. The rest of the fans clap for Chris as Dan tries to rush over to see if his brother is okay. Scruff stops him~
Hood: Get him out of there, Scruff! Check his hands for weapons, I think I saw a shank in his right fist!
Smith: Okay, I’m back
Hood: Damn, those look fucking great
Smith: *smack* Oh yea, sloppy nachos *smack*
Hood: Give me one
Smith: No, get your own!
Hood: Come on, don’t be a bitch
Smith: *slap* Get your hands away!
~Chris is the first one to emerge from the carnage as he sits up and crawls his way out of the bleachers. His back has red lines forming from the impact. Chris gets to his feet and looks over at his brother, there seems to be a message sent that he’s okay. Dan backs away as Scruff begins the ten count. Chris pulls Slade from the bleachers as Slade is very much out of it. He drags Slade to the ring and hurls him under the bottom rope. Chris slides in and goes for the pin, Scruff rushes into the ring and makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Sooo close there for Crazy Chris!
Hood: The fans were nearly robbed, Smith.
Smith: How so?
Hood: They came to see wrestling in its purist form…Chris nearly cost them that by conniving his way to victory.
Smith: You know, you have your opinions and I’m going to cease asking you to explain them.
~Chris gets to his feet and pulls Slade to his, Slade shoves Chris off and nails him with a couple of stiff right hands. Chris staggers back and Slade shoves him into a corner, Chris slams hard and holds the back of his head. Slade walks in this time and lifts Chris up to the top rope. Chris lifts a knee right into Slade’s face! Slade staggers back and bends over, holding his face. Chris leaps off the top rope with a cross body and lands on Slade’s back, driving him face first into the mat with Shadows Over Hell!! Chris rolls Slade over for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Victor Slade is proving to be a tough out for Crazy Chris!
Hood: I’m amazed that the man is still standing after everything he’s endured.
Smith: What about Crazy Chris, it’s been no cake walk for him.
Hood: I don’t have pity for people who jump onto metal structures on purpose…sorry.
~Chris slaps the mat with his hands out of frustration but gets back to his feet, ready to continue wearing Slade down. Slade slowly gets to his and Chris goes for a roundhouse kick, he misses as Slade ducks. Slade then grabs Chris around the neck with one of his big hands and Chris tries to break free, but can’t. Slade lifts Chris up high in the air and holds him there as Scruff administers a count~
Smith: Finally, Scruff is doing his job!
Hood: What are you talking about? The guy has been screwing Slade since the start...he’s just being consistent.
Smith: That is a blatant chokehold.
Hood: No you fucking idiot, it’s a chokeslam
Smith: I see no slam!
Hood: It’s coming, be patient
~Slade has Chris high in the air and is ready to slam him down, Chris, though, is able to get his foot around the top rope in a nearby corner and secure it. Slade loses his grip as he goes to slam Chris and his hand tears away from Chris’ throat. Slade stumbles forward as Chris is hanging upside down in the corner. Chris quickly pulls himself up and is now standing on the top rope. Slade turns around as Chris leaps off and drills Slade with a diving side kick! Slade goes to the mat, lying flat on his back as Chris makes the cover. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~Smith dings the bell as Dan slides into the ring and helps Chris to his feet, raising his hand in victory. “Demons” by Imagine Dragons begins to play as the crowd cheers for the Danger Boiz who make a quick exit to get away from the sullen beast, Victor Slade~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…CRAZY CHRIS!!!!!
Smith: Wow! What a win for Crazy Chris!
Hood: Screwjob…the Brunswick Screw job…a night that will live on in infamy
Smith: This match will forever be remembered by the heart Crazy Chris showed and the cheesy goodness of my nachos.
Hood: Fuck that noise…Victor Slade was in full beast mode…he just couldn’t overcome the 3 to 1 disadvantage.
Smith: While I don’t agree with your math…Slade did look impressive in his debut. No doubt he will be a force moving forward.
Hood: Agree to slightly disagree
Smith: Sure
Hood: It’s blinking again…
Smith: Oh, exciting…maybe more Gavin Reed shenanigans?
Hood: He’s a regular Sherlock Holmes…that Reed guy
Smith: Nothing like a nice british twist to our broadcast!
~We zoom in to the video clip once again showing the "backstage" area where we now see Gavin Reed pacing a 10 foot section, talking on his cell phone.~
Gavin: I'm trying...I know! I'm trying harder!...Any news on your front?...Really? Is that a viable option?...I'm not questioning your judgment or your sources, I'm merely stating...Ok, ok...I'll go check it out. I'll be in touch shortly.
~Reed lowers the phone from his ear and lets out a deep breath and pushes the screen, hanging it up. He straightens his suit up and walks onward as the feed turns back to ringside.~
Smith: The pressure is really starting to come down on Reed
Hood: Well, when you don’t do your fucking job…
Smith: I’m just saying, I wouldn’t want to work for whoever’s signing Gavin’s checks
Hood: To be honest, I doubt that guy would hire you
Smith: Terrific! Well, Hoodsie, it’s time for tonight’s main event!!
Hood: What the fuck is a Hoodsie?
Smith: A nickname I just came up with for ya.
Hood: Well, uncome up with it…it’s horrid and embarrassing.
Smith: I will swallow the hurt you just inflicted upon me and change refocus on the task at hand…main event?
Hood: Who do we have going tonight?
Smith: Amber Ryan takes on Harold Jones…Harold is somewhat of an unconventional comedian, at least by OCW standards.
Hood: Meaning, what, exactly?
Smith: He’s not really funny…but uber enthusiastic.
Hood: Shit…and this guy’s headlining our first Massacre?
Smith: Indeed! But, fear not, Amber Ryan is making her debut as well.
Hood: So, an unfunny comedian and a woman…or at the very least a man with a female’s name? Whatever.
Smith: Yes…but even better, our sponsor for tonight’s Main Event…you may have heard of them
~Smith pulls out a glass of ice and a green can called “Silver Cola”…it’s covered in dust and the cap is a bit rusted. He struggles to pop the tab~
Smith: Silver Cola! Dean found a bunch of these stuffed in a storage facility a week or so ago…Storage Wars was about to take it over, so he had to take out all the valuables. Anyway, he figured we could sell what’s left of this old but fond OCW memorabilia. It tastes GREAT too!
~Smith finally gets the can open and pours the suspect looking liquid into the iced glass. It sets there for a moment, without any fizz~
Hood: Isn’t this shit carbonated?
Smith: That’s what it says…but, I’m sure it’s still good…here, try it!
Hood: No, no, no…you go ahead, you look thirsty.
Smith: Oh, don’t be ridiculous…you’re the guy with all the witty comments and highs and lows…you need the liquid.
Hood: I insist, Smith…you were a bigger Silverfreak fan than I was.
Smith: I’m a diabetic
Hood: Since when?
Smith: Since now
~They continue to argue back and forth until a message on the iPad pops up from Dean saying “Drink the fucking thing, now!” Hood rolls his eyes and takes a large gulp. He makes a sour, disgusted face but quickly swallows it and tries to maintain his composure. His eyes water as he forces a smile~
Hood: Delicious…
Smith: Silver Cola, folks! Pick it up online after the show!!
Smith: Let’s go down to ringside!
Belvedere: First, making her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at a minimal 155lbs and standing at 5'7"....Amber "Distorted Angel" Ryan!!!!
Hood: Oh good Lord, here she fucking comes...
Smith: Well Hood, the girls here in the OCW are looking pretty spectacular!
Hood: Smith, I didn't know that you had a thing for girls.
Smith: Of course I do, silly! I'm married!
Hood: Is she your beard?
Smith: How can I put her on my face Hoodsie? That makes no sense.
Hood: I'm just...speechless.
Smith: She sure is looking pretty intense!
Hood: Are we sure that's not just constipation, Smith?
Smith: I'm pretty sure it's not. She just seems like she's ready to kick some butt.
Hood: Why did I beg for him to come back again? This fucker can't even flow with a joke! And "butt" really? Be grown up for at least 3 seconds and say the word "ass".
Belvedere: And her opponent! Hailing from New York, New York, the funniest man in the business, aside from Johnny Riot's ridiculous haircut, Harold "The Headliner" Jones!!!!
~"5th Symphony" by Ludwig Van Beethoven is cued on the sound system and out comes The Headliner to what appears to be roaring cheers, if you can call cheers from the 40 people that are in attendance roaring. Harold waves his hand nonchalantly acting like he doesn't want the attention and slowly makes his way to the ring.~
Hood: What the hell is this?!
Smith: It's obviously people cheering for a rather funny individual!
Hood: Are you kidding me? Have you seen the typical one-liners that this guy has been throwing out? I can do better!
Smith: I'm sure he'll accept your challenge Hood!
Hood: Well it's an open invitation!
Smith: I'll be sure to let him know what a good sport that you are and to make sure he goes easy on you with his zingers.
Hood: Goes easy on...
Smith: The action has started!
~Like Smith has just stated the action HAS in fact started. Amber has immediately taken the upper hand by hitting Jones over the head with a stiff forearm shot as he enters the ring in between the top and the middle rope sending Harold now staggering his last steps into the ring. The Distorted Angel follows up the initial blow by delivering some sickening right hands to the face of Jones sending him reeling into the ropes. Ryan delivers some resounding knife edge chops to the chest of Jones which leave him barreled over holding his chest as Ryan shows no mercy and keeps lifting him back up to deliver more knife edge chops. After each chops Jones bends over the crowd in attendance gives the Ric Flair "WOOO".~
Smith: Amber Ryan is fierce!
Hood: I'm going to ignore that you just said "fierce" and comment on how fucking annoying that "wooo" sound is.
Smith: The crowd is paying homage!
Hood: Fuck a Ric Flair, guys like TGO and MMM have done more for the sport of wrestling than that guy!
Smith: And here he goes....
~Ryan, still with the upper hand whips Harold across the ring into the opposite ropes, Harold comes bouncing off but with a sense of urgency and comes flying towards Ryan with a high cross body block taking Amber off of her feet. As both competitors go down, Harold catches Amber's legs and goes for the pin...~
1...
2...
NO!
~As the 2 count comes Amber kicks out. Harold quickly gets to his feet to try to gain momentum in the match for the first time since it started. He runs towards the ropes and bounces off as Amber is gaining her footing and getting up off of her hands and knees. Harold connects with a drop kick right to the ribs of Amber sending her rolling onto her back about 3 feet from the ropes. Harold, sensing an opportunity runs towards the ropes closest to the Amber Ryan and leaps over her landing on the second rope with his feet and bouncing off with a moonsault. As Harold leaps backwards Amber rolls towards the ropes and quickly gets to her feet, Harold luckily notices that Amber has moved and has landed on his feet, bouncing backwards a little bit. Amber quickly runs towards the off guard Harold and with all of her force goes lunging at the knees of Jones who side-steps the chop block and pushes Ryan down and out, flying towards the opposite side of the ring writhing in pain and holding her face/nose.~
Smith: What a sequence! This action is nonstop!
Hood: Spare me the details Smith, I'm ready to see that bitch get put in her place
Smith: What kind of way is that to talk about a woman?
Hood: This is a man's sport Smith, no place for the lady folk to be competing.
Smith: This isn't just a man's world!
Hood: Tell that to the whore that's sucking Dean's dick in the back.
Smith: Wait! That's not who's supposed to suck.....
~The action continues in the ring as Jones has the upper hand still. Stalking his prey, he snatches The Distorted Angel up by her hair and pulls her to her feet. With her back against the ropes The Headliner has decided to repay Ryan by issuing his own set of knife-edge chops that is once again met by "WOOO"s from the audience in attendance.~
Hood: Not this shit again...
Smith: WOOOO!!!
Hood: Shut the fuck up!
Smith: WOOOOOOO!!!!
Hood: Shoot me now.
~As the Jones continues to slap the chest of Amber Ryan he slaps a little too low for Amber's liking which sends her into a fit of rage which starts and ends by Ryan kicking Harold right in the balls. The men in the audience cringe as Amber Ryan goes straight to the offensive, kicking Harold while he's down on the ground. Amber, thinking that enough kicks have been doled out to Jones, goes to the legs of the downed Harold Jones and lifts them up in the air, as she stands over him, Harold in obvious pain, holding his midsection. Amber Ryan looks down at Harold and smiles a sadistic smile. She lifts her head up and turns in the direction of the announcing table, which is just the same table used by scorekeepers at basketball games. She makes eye contact with Hood and smiles the same sadistic smile.~
Smith: Somebody has an admirer.
Hood: Is that bitch provoking me?
Smith: Now Hoodsie, it's not nice to call girls bitches.
Hood: I hope she's not...wait, is this some kind of sick...
~Amber quickly focuses her attention back to The Headliner and gives another stiff kick right to the balls which sends Harold screaming for mercy. Sensing blood in the water, like a shark Amber goes in for the kill, picking up an obviously in pain Harold. The Distorted Angel whips Harold Jones against the ropes, Jones comes bouncing off and is met with a leap frog from Ryan who quickly turns around to see Harold coming off the other ropes. Using the momentum that Harold has built up by running off of both ropes, Amber uses it to her advanatage with a quick powerslam that shakes the ring. She quickly covers Jones...~
1...
2...
3…NO!
~ Harold has a little bit left in him and kicks out at the absolute last milisecond. Amber, a tad frustrated picks up Harold once again but this time whips him into the corner. Amber walks over to the opposite corner and charges full speed ahead, lunging towards the midsection of The Headliner, but like the last lunge Harold side steps sending Amber Ryan shoulder first into the steel post and then tumbling out of the ring as Harold collapses to his knees as he holds the ropes for support and surveys the damage done outside.~
Hood: Hell yes Harold!
Smith: I thought you didn't like him, didn't you challenge him to a duel?
Hood: One, this isn't the fucking 1700s Smith, don't use the word duel either. Two, he's kicking that bitch's ass who smiled and showed her crooked ass troll teeth to me. I'm not into trolls.
Smith: But troll dolls are so cute! Just like that one outstanding lady that you dated, granted she may have been about 200lbs heavier than Miss Ryan over there but the teeth match!
Hood: I thought I swore you to secrecy!
Smith: Oops...
~As The Headliner pulls himself to his feet, still looking at his downed opponent outside of the ring who is slowly turning over to her back now, Harold sees an oportunity. Jones climbs to the top of the turnbuckle that Amber Ryan rammed slammed into shoulder first and looks out on the audience as someone pushes a "Rimshot" button on their phone in the audience. Harold gives a big thumbs up and leaps towards Amber Ryan with a shooting star press that connects on the downed Amber Ryan. The crowd immediately comes to their feet in an uproar with and "OCW" chant starting immediately as both competitors lie motionless on the outside and the ref starts his 10 count.... ~
Smith: OH MY GOD! Harold Jones may not have only killed Amber Ryan with that shooting star press but could have killed himself as well!!
Hood: No shit! I think Ryan's implant busted!
Smith: Are you sure those aren't real?
Hood: You obviously have never seen a pair of boobs in your life if you can't tell real from fake.
Smith: But they make them so lifelike nowadays!
Hood: A real man can tell!
~The ref continues counting, now up to five. Both competitors are finally starting to move around on the outside of the ring. 6. Harold is the first one to make some sort of actual effort to get to his feet as he tugs on the apron, trying to pull himself up. 7. Amber Ryan suddenly sensing that she's in danger of getting counted out starts to do the same. 8. Both competitors look at each other and see that the other one is almost to their feet. 9. They both get a sudden burst of energy and slide into the ring right before the ref makes the 10 count. Knowing that some sort of offense has to be started if she wants to win the match, The Distorted Angel is the first to make her way towards the opposition and immediately goes for a leg kick that echos throughout the gymnasium. She follows it up with another leg kick, this time to the opposite leg of The Headliner. Amber then connects with a vicious forearm shot to the cheek of Harold Jones the sends him stumbling backwards. Amber charges in with what little space that she has between her and Harold and connects with a collosal clothesline that sends Harold Jones down to the mat, but he bounces back up almost immediately as Amber charges again with another clothesline, but Harold ducks and turns around only to be met with a pele kick that connects to the top of the head, sending him face first to the mat.~
Hood: Maybe her implant didn't bust.
Smith: I told you they were real.
Hood: The jury is still out.
Smith: You could always go and ask her to let you see them.
Hood: I already told you that I don't mess with trolls.
Smith: To which I kindly reminded you that you have in fact been with, intimately I might add, an outstanding young lady who resembled the bright blue haired troll doll.
Hood: And I'm going to kindly remind you that I'm going to have Dean ram his...
Smith: Back to the action...
~Amber gets up and methodically walks around The Headliner, she circles once and then come back around to his legs and steps over him to his back. She picks up both of his arms with her boot in the back of his head. She leans back a tad and lifts Harold Jones up as he visibly shakes his head "no" knowing that the the only way to go is down. The Distorted Angel lets his arms go and at the same time drives her boot into the back of his Harold's head as he comes drops down with a powerful curbstomp maneuver! She rolls a motionless Harold over towards the ropes and covers him~
1...
2...
~The ref stops the count as he notices that Harold's far leg is out under the ropes. Frustrated she pulls it in and hooks the far leg going for the pin once again.~
1...
2...
3….NO!
~Harold musters up enough strength to get the arm up at the last second.~
Smith: This Amber Ryan lady is definitely making an impact here.
Hood: She's made an impact to my dwindling libido.
Smith: Oh! You mean you won't have to take the little blue pill anymore?
Hood: No, I'm saying that I'm going to have to take at least 2 from now on after seeing that monstrosity.
~Obviously annoyed Amber Ryan picks up a nearly lifeless Harold Jones by the hair. She whips Harold Jones towards the corner that’s closest to her, but apparently The Headliner still has a little life left in him and reverses the whip sending the Distorted Angel into the turnbuckle that’s a short distance away from them. The impact from the whip sends her stumbling back into the waiting arms of Harold Jones, her back arched. The Headliner grab her left arm and holds it out to the side as he wraps his right arm over her shoulder and across her throat, which looks like he’s going for his finishing maneuver, The Capper (flatliner). The Headliner leans forward and then starts to drop back but aware of her ring positioning, Amber Ryan grabs the top rope sending Jones crashing down to the mat by himself, hitting the back of his head on the way down.~
Hood: Dammit Harold!
Smith: We are not supposed to be biased, Hoodsie.
Hood: When the hell have you known me to NOT be biased?!
Smith: Advantage, Hood.
~Amber Ryan goes to capitalize and picks up Harold once again and whips him all the way to the opposite side of the ring with tremendous force as Harold is now posted up in the corner. Amber Ryan walks back to the corner opposite of The Headliner and charges full speed towards her opponent leaping with her foot out and connecting right in the chin of Harold Jones with a tremendous Yakuza kick! Harold seems to be out on his feet as Amber gingerly gets up holding her knee~
Smith: It looks like Amber may have hurt her knee there!
Hood: Oh, well it looks like she won't be making any extra money at the hotel tonight then...
Smith: What are you implying Hood?
Hood: What does it sound like I'm implying?
Smith: Are you implying what I think that you're implying?
Hood: You can imply that you think that I'm implying what you think that I'm implying all night long.
Smith: I'm confused...
Hood: Nothing unusual there, continue calling the match while I go get my car warmed up...who's idea was it to come to Ohio anyways?
~Harold stumbles out of the corner where the Distorted Angel awaits him with a quick kick to the gut. Amber Ryan gets double underhooks locked in and drills Harold with a lockout ddt, the Original Sin. Amber turns Harold over and makes the pin attempt once again~
1...
2...
3!!!
Smith: Amber Ryan wins in her debut here in the OCW.
Hood: Whoopty Fuckin' Doo...just what the OCW needs, a woman who wrestles and wins. Where're the good ol' days at? I need Scott Syren to come and make her lick his feet or drink his urine...something entertaining...
Smith: Watch your filthy mouth, Hood!
Belvedere: Here is your winner...AMBER "DISTORTED ANGEL" RYAN!!!!
Smith: Impressive win for Amber Ryan here to close out the return of Monday Night Massacre.
Hood: Sooo…half of our matches were won by women?
Smith: The times, they are a’changin
Hood: Apparently, who knows…maybe you’ll be able to get in there and compete
Smith: I have been working my shake weight over time since re-signing with OCW!
Hood: Now there’s an image to leave everyone with
Smith: And…wait, Leo, where are you going
Hood: Show’s over, apparently…Leo’s leaving us high and dry…
Smith: Well, how about one more ring of the bell to signify the end…just like when Wall Street closes…
~Smith reaches up with his little golden gavel…Hood can take no more. He snatches it out of his hands and hurls it as far as he can. It goes through the glass backboard of a basketball goal, shattering it. Hood looks over at Smith, who is smirking~
Hood: Fuck, that’s coming out of several paychecks
Smith: Serves you right!
Hood: Just end the show
Smith: Okay folks, well thanks for tuning in to the return of Monday Night Massacre, we will see you all next week…and…whoa, another video message on our iPad! Leo! Quick!
~Leo’s hand reaches down and grabs the iPad, he turns from the announcers table and heads to the back. As he does, he zooms in on the video clip for another shot showing the back hallway area where Gavin stands outside of a doorway and grins as he opens the door and struts through the doorway, the camera focusing only on him. He stops about 5 steps into the room.~
Gavin: You're a very hard person to track down...let us talk business...
~The camera pans towards the person that Gavin is talking to and comes to an abrupt end before we can see the identity of the person he’s addressing~
~We return to Leo’s live feed as he follows OCW President Dean through the back of the building. Dean has a huge smile on his face as he proudly sports the OCW Central Championship over his shoulder. They finally arrive at Dean’s rental car and Dean opens the back door. The smile on his face quickly fades. Dean snatches a bag out of the back seat and rifles through it but doesn’t find what he appears to be looking for. Then he reaches into the bag and pulls out the Italy National Flag and Dean becomes irate. Just then Dean’s phone beeps and his looks at it.~
Dean: It’s Maurako.
~Leo takes the phone and holds it close to the camera for everyone to see. Mario appears alongside Lou Bruno, and they appear to be by nearby Lake Eerie.~
Mario Maurako: Hey, Dean. Have you met my friend here Bruno? Oh that’s right he was the first guy you signed following my appearance on Addiction two weeks ago. Well here’s a little breaking news for you Dean. I sent him to OCW because I knew you’d be desperate for talent.
~Mario puts his arm around Bruno, who is holding a sack that appears to be full of something.~
Mario Maurako: Bruno here is going to help me bring you and your company to your knees. In fact it didn’t take him long to come up with this great idea. See he knew that you’d be so preoccupied with me that he would easily be able to remove all of your precious OCW Titles from your rental car and remain completely unnoticed.
~Bruno removes the OCW Tag Tam Titles from the bag and tosses them into the Lake.~
Mario Maurako: Nobody here deserves to hold those titles!
~Bruno removes the OCW United States & Intercontinental Titles from the bag and then tosses the both of them into the lake.~
Mario Maurako: United States and Intercontinental Titles, after me nobody else could have ever deserved to hold either of those championships.
~Bruno removes the OCW World Title from the bag. Bruno goes to throw it in the lake but Mario swipes it from Bruno.~
Mario Maurako: And then there is this thing. Your precious OCW World Title. A few weeks ago I merely tossed it to the ground figuring that was all I needed to do to make you go away. But you keep coming back and you keep bringing it back. Well Dean I hope you enjoy fishing because you’re precious belt is going swimming with the fishes!
~Mario gives the OCW World Title a heave and it lands in the lake with a splash and disappears in the dirty Lake Eerie as the cameras come to a close.~
OOC: Hope you guys enjoyed it…leave your thoughts on the OOC Board…and also vote on the poll below! Card for next week’s MNM will be posted later today. Also, props to everyone who sent segments in and Trevor(TGO) for typing Ryan/Jones, Black/Reid and Young/Richard.