LIVE! August 4th, 2014
Storrs, Connecticut
Smith: Hello OCW fans and welcome to Monday night Massacre! We have a jam packed evening full of amazing matches for you!
Hood: We do?
Smith: Yes, Hood. We do. Capped off with a main-event featuring Caution putting his newly won Hardcore championship on the line against Brandon Gateman.
Hood: Why the fuck my man PerZag and Fuller wasn’t the main-event I’ll never know!?
Before Smith can chime in with his two cents, Billy Squier’s “Everybody Wants You” controls the P.A. system as President Treat Cassidy makes his way down the aisle with another sharp dressed man in tow. Cassidy smiles to the crowd as they cheer him on. Once he makes his way to the ring, he and his friend climb in, and Cassidy summons a microphone from Belvedere.
Treat Cassidy: Good evening ladies and gentlemen!
The crowd pops and picks up a ‘THANK YOU TREAT’ chant. Cassidy takes it all in, wearing a large smile on his face. Once the pop dies down, Cassidy continues on.
Treat Cassidy: Thank you all, you have no idea how much I appreciate all of that. First and foremost I want to formally congratulate MY World Heavyweight champion, MJ Bell. You, my little red headed ball of fury are the flag ship of this company and you deserved every ounce of that hard fought victory last Sunday night. You EARNED it. Not only are you our Champion, but you go down in history as the first Woman to ever be OCW World Heavyweight champion. Not to mention the first champion in nine years. I couldn’t have hand selected a better worker to be at the top.
Crowd… MJ…MJ...MJ…MJ…
Treat Cassidy: I’m glad you all agree with me. Some may say I run an unconventional show. Some may say I don’t know what I’m doing nor do I deserve to be in charge. They can all kiss the bricks and head on down the road if they don’t like how I do things. Earlier this week, there has been some dissension among the ranks, as former President by the name of Dean hijacked my radio show and was under the impression he was taking over again. He went on to bash some of my top names and take a big crap onto each and every one of you. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior. Dean has been barred from every OCW event from this time forward. After Jack Kenny’s resignation, I now own Online Championship Wrestling 100%. My lawyers have been in contact with Dean’s, but there is literally nothing he can do from this point forward. So Dean, if you’re in the hood somewhere crying in your depression, I’m sorry about your luck. I have decided that I will keep your name in the Hall of Fame. You did after all found the OCW and made it into something good, I just took over and made it freaken GREAT!
The crowd cheers as Cassidy reassures the world yet again that Dean will not be a threat. Cassidy paces around the ring, while his friend in the suit stands staring blankly with his hands folded in front of him.
Treat Cassidy: I won’t keep you much longer from the action this evening, but I do have a couple more things to say. Jack Kenny is gone. Ian Bishop is still the General Manager of Massacre but the problem is, he is untrustworthy as he has his own hidden agenda. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a former associate of mine and he will be taking over the Vice President role. Give a warm welcome to Shane Anderson.
The crowd claps for the man they’ve never met. But trust Cassidy’s leadership.
Treat Cassidy: Shane Anderson may be best known for having his leg broken by Russell Nash-Blade when he was my VP over in XHWF. But he is a creative genius and he will be helping me out with day to day operations and working directly with the talent. By hiring Shane Anderson, I am showing the OCW world that I still call the shots. Every decision made will now be run through me and me only.
Shane Anderson nods in agreement as Cassidy hands him over the microphone.
Shane Anderson: Hello there OCW peeps! My first order of business is to lay out OCW’s August Pay-Per-View, Last Man Standing. Tonight we have a series of qualifying matches, the winners of those matches will move onto Last Man Standing. Next week we will have another series of qualifiers, and those winners, too, move forward. At Last Man Standing, there will be matches featuring all of those who have moved on, Best of the Best/King of the Ring style. The winner, or ‘Last Man Standing’ will have earned a shot at the World Heavyweight champion at the September Pay-Per-View. At LMS, we will also have a World title defense, where Miss MJ Bell will defend her title against the winner of the PerZag/Sean Fuller match this evening. Thank you everyone, for your time! Enjoy the show!
Anderson flips the mic back to Belvedere as Anderson and Cassidy shake hands as “Everybody Wants You” by Billy Squier plays them out. As the scene cuts to commercial break.
After returning from commercial break, the cameras go back to Smith and Hood at the announce table.
Smith: Breaking news from Mr. Cassidy if you missed it, we have a new VP by the name of Shane Anderson.
Hood: You shouldn’t have missed anything. Always tune in Mondays just to see me atleast pretty ladies.
Smith: Anyway…
Hood: Yeah, Treat Cassidy hired another puppet so he can go off on his vacations and let someone do all his work for him. It’s genius, really.
Smith: You are always so negative. Treat is an amazing boss.
Hood: Garggle gargggleee… That’s the sound of you choking on his cock!
Smith: Alllright then…. Let’s check out our first match then, shall we?
Twilight and Lilith are in the ring making out
Smith: These two just can’t keep their hands off one another!
Hood: Normally I’d say lesbianism is hot…but something about that Twilight chick…she doesn’t look very, umm, chick-ish
Smith: Several female wrestlers are big boned, Hood
Hood: In the crotch region
Smith: No comment
The arena lights go dark and suddenly there is a pounding of a drum, akin to a beating heart as a spotlight shines down upon the OCW entry ramp, showing where a sigil of some sort has appeared during the few seconds of darkness.
The double beat sounds once again and the light vanishes, and all is black once again. A third repetition sounds, and the spotlight is back, revealing that a black gauntleted hand has torn through the metal mesh of the entry ramp. A fourth and the arena lights come back up, but in a sinister blood red as the hideous flame-hued mask of Legion appears on the jumbotron.
The monster has torn himself free of the entry ramp and raises his arms as guitars play for a moment and columns of flame light up the OCW arena, sending the lights back to their normal state. Legion walks to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and stands, raising his left hand into the air.
Belvedere: Introducing their opponents…first, from Hell…standing 6’10 inches tall and weighing in at 286lbs…he is the Number One Contender to the OCW Internet Championship…Legion!!
”Underground” by Evermore hits as Lance Savage makes his way to the ring. He enters and is ready for action.
Belvedere: And his partner, from Parts Unknown…standing 5’7 and weighing in at a precise 222lbs… “The Demon” Lance Savage!!
Belvedere exits the ring as the bell sounds. Savage looks up at Legion. Legion steps over the top rope, electing to give Savage first crack. Lilith and Twilight continue to make out across the ring as the fans start to boo.
Smith: We get it! You guys want to have a steamy lesbian storyline!!
Hood: Holy shit, talk about been there, done that
Smith: Makes you wonder if these two bounce around from fed to fed just as an excuse to rehash the same, old lesbian stuff
Hood: No doubt, Smith
Since Lance Savage isn’t the kind of man to put up with shenanigans; he rushes over and kicks Twilight in the face. She flies out of the ring. This causes Lilith to yell at Savage…she talks and talks and talks. Savage whips out some duct tape and places it over her rather large mouth. THE CROWD GOES WILD.
Smith: Finally, somebody shut Lilith up! LOUDEST POP OF THE YEAR!
Hood: Fuck yes…Lance Savage is the man!
Smith: Even with the eye patch?
Hood: Argh!
Savage lifts Lilith up and drills her into the mat with a Tombstone Piledriver. Twilight reaches under the bottom rope, trying to feel her partner up. In doing so, she inadvertently tags in. Savage rushes over to tag Legion in, the crowd grows ominous. Twilight enters the ring, looking up at the hideous monster standing before her.
Smith: Sarah Twilight attempted to sexually assault Lilith and now…as her penance, she must face this monster.
Hood: Legion was a BEAST against Brandon Gateman…I’d say Twilight is thinking “Oh Shit” right about now
Smith: Indeed
Twilight throws a punch at Legion, but he catches her fist, lifts her up by the arm and slams her into the mat, hard. She coughs and rolls around in pain. Legion bends over, clutching Twilight by the neck. He then lifts a knee into her gut, causing the bitch to double over. Legion lifts her up for a powerbomb before dropping her into a DDT (Mystery III)!!! Twilight is out as Legion places a toe on her chest.
1!
2!
3!!!
”Underground” by Evermore hits as Legion and Savage exit the ringside area, victors. They don’t celebrate as it’s not in their nature. Neither man really acknowledges one another…they just vacate the ringside area.
Belvedere: Here are your winners…LANCE SAVAGE & LEGION!!!!!
Smith: Dominating win by Savage and Legion
Hood: You can say that again
Smith: Dominating win by Savage and Legion
We cut to a commercial break which is way too long about sex change operations. We then return to our broadcast with Lilith and Twilight in the ring, holding the mic.
Sarah Twilight: THIS IS BULLSHIT!! I’M SARAH TWILIGHT, THE OH SHIT CONTRACT HOLDER!! I AM SO ANGRY! YOU DON’T FUCK WITH ME! I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!! ARG ARG ARG BLAH BLAH BLAH…ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!!!
Lilith tries talking, but the duct tape is still over her mouth. Suddenly, Twilight’s penis falls out of her shorts…the crowd laughs. Lilith tries to hide it…Twilight likes the feel of Lilith’s hands on her giant, discolored penis, so they begin to make out…after Twilight removes the duct tape.
Smith: Okay, that’s enough…security, please remove that girl and…whatever the heck that other thing is, from ringside…we have a show to put on here!
Hood: That was the strangest looking dick I’ve ever seen. No wonder Sarah Twilight goes around pretending to be a chick.
Smith: Indeed
Sarah Twilight: This Rick/Will thing…if it’s an angle, is fucking stooooopid…oh my gosh, what a stupid angle!
Smith: Well, if it IS an angle, it’s certainly not as innovative or groundbreaking as a lesbian storyline…but, hey, we try.
Hood: Sarah Twilight needs to lay off the roids and seek some anger management.
The crowd suddenly screams as A GIANT FUCKING GRIZZLY BEAR rips through the side doors and sprints towards ringside.
Smith: There are bears in Storrs?
Hood: I guess so…that or the circus is in town
Smith: After what we’ve just witnessed, visually, from Sarah Twilight, I might be inclined to believe the circus is in town.
THE GIANT BEAR leaps into the ring and mauls Twilight and Lilith. The crowd, instead of gasping in horror, cheers and chants “MAUL! MAUL! MAUL!” We watch as blood, bone and a penis fly around the ring until the bear has had his fill and runs out of the arena, back into the wilderness from whence it came. A cleaning crew rushes down to get things ready for our next match.
Smith: Fascinating…the death toll in OCW continues to rise
Hood: Good riddance…now that we’re through the boring, inconsequential shit…let’s roll on
Smith: Agreed…backstage, folks!
Backstage Eric Price is standing by with Pretty Boy Floyd.
Pretty Boy Floyd: Eric, moments before your OCW debut against Johnny Ruff…any words?
Eric Price: I have to apologize
Pretty Boy Floyd: For?
Eric Price: I’m sorry, but I must be leaving OCW. I’m sorry for all the trouble this is causing.
Eric Price walks off
Pretty Boy Floyd: Apologize? For what? You never contributed anything…
We cut back to ringside
Smith: Eric Price has evidently left us
Hood: Everybody’s got a price, Smith
Smith: And?
Hood: And, I guess someone offered him a highly lucrative, three figure contract he couldn’t turn down.
Smith: Indeed.
Backstage, Jimmy Jenkins stands in the ring awaiting the chance to interview OCW's newest superstars, when all of a sudden We Own It by 2 Chainz begins to play. Jimmy Jenkins looks surprised and beings to look around and look at the announcers, because he does not recognize the theme music. Then all of a sudden a man wearing a three piece suit walks out from the back. A man standing 6'6 with long red hair pulled back in a pony tail. He makes his way down the aisle and climbs into the ring.
Jimmy Jenkins: Who are you I am the superfan here and I know every OCW wrestler there is. So again who are you?
The Man: I am a man that you don't want to be messing with son. I have just been signed by Treat Cassidy and brought into the OCW. He feels that the talent here in the OCW has been getting a little stale as of late. So he called me up from the other promotion. A promotion I won't get into right now. Any how he called me up and signed me to a very BIG contract if you know what I mean son!
The man Smiles and unbuttons his coat and smiles out at the fans.
Jimmy Jenkins: Well you know hat didn't quite answer my question. To who you are. You see I am the OCW superfan here and I'm also the biggest wrestling fan. I have never seen you before?
The Man: I guess you are going to fined out anyway who I am. So I'm going to tell you. I also want he rest of the OCW locker room to listen to me very well. My name is Tim Findlay and I am from Canada. I came here to shake things up. I have been watching the OCW very closely the last few weeks and I have my eyes on a few things.
Jimmy Jenkins: HOLY CRAP I know who you are now!!! You came over from....
Findlay puts up his hands
Tim Findlay: We are not going to mentioned that other promotion right now.
Jimmy Jenkins: Well can you at least tell me why are you here?
Tim Findlay: I guess I could tell you just a tasted of why is to come. You see I have big plans for my stay here in the OCW, but like everyone I do have my eyes on that World Heavyweight Championship, but I'm not looking at that right now. I do want to give it up to MJ Bell for a win there at Genesis, but on the other hand she was wrestling against two wimps I guess. I mean come on guys you got your ass handed to you by a GIRL!!! Specially you PerZag you tapped out. I girl made you tap. Now if I was in that match I can tell you I would not have been the one that I tapped, but again just look at me I'm 6'6 255lbs of just pure muscle, and look at your World Heavyweight Champion what is she 125 WET??? Now I didn't come out here to hammer on your newly crowned World Champ. I came out here to introduce my self. Jimmy you may know who I am, but I know the rest of the locker room doesn't, but in due time. HELL maybe next week one of the lucky Bastards there in
the back might get lucky and he can step in the ring with me and find out just who the real Tim Findaly really is. So Jimmy it has been a pleasure and until next time we meet again. So long and I'm sure you and the rest of the losers in the back will get to know me in due time my friend!!!!
We Own It begins to play again as Findlay climbs out of the ring and walks back to the back.
Eric Price (0-0) VS Johnny Ruff (0-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, already in the ring, Johnny Ruff!
Ruff stands in his corner, watching as his opponent for the evening comes through the curtain, a teenage girl on each arm. He is pretty much dragged down to the ring by them as the camera cuts to commentary to kill some time.
Hood: Well, seems official really doesn't it? Eric Price cannot do anything without the consent of a couple of teenage girls.
Smith: Now you're just being harsh!
Hood: Seems pretty legit to me.
Smith: Well, no, I meant that ginger one kind of looks like a man.
Eric is pushed into the ring as Belvedere makes his announcement.
Belvedere: And his opponent, Eric Price!
The match is about to begin as Chad Vargas appeares from nowehere, the crowd jeer at the homecoming of the former Cassidy client, but he seems not to hear them, instead running down to the ring and taking out Price with a clothesline. He shouts at Belvedere to make him a part of the match.
Belvedere: Er, and their opponent, Chad Vargas!
Belvedere makes his exit quickly, as Vargas watches the referee, who just shrugs it off. Seeminly now he has permission, Vargas turns and lays out Johnny Ruff with a good ol' punch in the face. Vargas turns his attention to the outside, where the two girls that accompanied Price were acting wierdly. The red head was shaking rather comically with what seemed to be anger, while rearranging her crotchal area, and the brunette had pulled out a pot, and for some reason was stirring it.
Vargas turns his attention back to the ring, scratching his head, probably wondering what the fuck had happened while he had been away. Price was backing into a corner, trying to buy a time out. Vargas gives him what he wants, by kicking him so hard in the face that he passes out. Chad turns his attentiont to the recovering Johnny Ruff, setting him up, and putting him down with the stroke.
1
2
3!
Belvedere: Here is your winner, CHAD VARGAS!
Chad was already leaving the ring, as Price was pulled from the ring by his keepers. A creepy cold crept over the arena as through the crowd appeared Mr. Hush, carrying what seemed to be an industrial belt sander. He hops the barrier, and slides into the ring. Hush proceeds to turn on the sander, and places it against the face of Johnny Ruff. The camera quickly cuts to ringside.
Smith: ....
Hood: Well, Legion warned us that the stupid duck face on Ruff would probably be taken off by Hush... he wasn't lying.
The camera quickly cut back to ringside, showing a Hush walking away quickly and a plethora of medical people. It seems as if the brunette on the outside was still trying to get attention, it seems she had taken to flashing the crowd, but no one was paying attention, far more concerned at the serious situation in the ring. The camera cuts back quickly as she turns to the camera.
Smith: Sorry ladies and gentlemen, we usually broadcast completely uncut, however we have not been able to verify the age of that female, and really don't want to risk showing something like that.
Hood: Never thought I'd see the day when it was Tits AND GTFO.
Smith: Quite, anyways, Chad Vargas advances, let's see what else this crazy show has in store for us tonight!
And his opponent, from New Jersey, weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds, representing Power and Worth, RICHARD!
Richard comes out from behind the curtain as “In Too Deep” hits. The crowd jeer the now slimmer looking Richard as he saunters down to the ring, rapping to himself as he goes.
Hood: Wow, even Belvedere has had enough of announcing the names of people who are barely there.
Smith: It’s rather rude if you ask me.
Hood: Good job no one ever asks you.
Richard cockily slides in under the bottom rope, shoving Belvedere out of the way and staring down Trey De Marc. The bell rings to start the match, and Richard wastes no time in going straight after De Marc, shoving him into the corner and mounting him with punches in the corner. Regardless of how the crowd feel about Richard, they still count along with the punches.
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!
Richard jumps down as De Marc slumps into the corner, with a bow, he turns on his heel, and simply runs knee first into the face of Trey. He then takes to throwing a few elbows in the face of the newcomer.
Smith: Richard is starting to look more and more vicious in his matches, he really has become a different man as of late.
Hood: Yeah, he grew some balls finally, he became a real boy!
The referee pulls Richard of De Marc, telling him to watch himself. Richard turns a blind eye and straight out kicks De Marc in the ribs. The newbie rolls around in pain, seemingly deciding that this wasn’t the best life venture for him. Richard throws another kick, this time landing it square in the skull. De Marc falls flat, out of it.
Richard looks down on his now unconscious opponent, wondering on whether or not to end this one. The ref bends down to check on Trey, but as soon as he is about to call a TKO, Richard shoves him, distracting him long enough to forget about the call. The Power & Worth operative simply puts a boot on his face, covering it while he decided what to do next.
Smith: He could end this now if he wanted! What is he playing at?
Hood: Just milking it by the looks of it, but why not, it’s not like we’ll ever see this idiot again, might as well let him have his five minutes of fame.
Smith: You mean fifteen minutes?
Hood: He won’t last that long!
De Marc seems to be coming round, Richard brings up his foot, watching as Trey tries to gather his location. Richard steps back, watching as Trey makes his way to his feet, slowly. Richard looks to set up the Dweckinator, but Trey gets the jump, sweeping in low and catching Richard by surprise, he grabs a leg, pushing Richard backwards into the ropes. Lacking what some would call dexterity, Richard is unable to bounce back, and trips slightly trying to explode off. Trey comes in with a bullhammer elbow, but Richard catches the lame attempt, throwing it back in Treys face and following up with his own right hand. With a sickening crack, bones break and Trey goes down. Richard places a boot on the chest before calling for the referee to make the cover.
1…
2…
3!
Belvedere: Here is your winner, RICHARD!
Richard happily just walks away, leaving the EMT’s to come in and check on De Marc.
Hood: Impressive display by Richard there.
Smith: Complete domination there, something impressive has come over Richard, and he is looking good going into the Last Man Standing Pay Per View.
Richard is greeted on the stage by Grenier and PerZag, who each lift an arm in triumph, the trio make their way to the back as EMT’s continue on with De Marc.
“Understanding The New Violence” by Uncut begins to play and Bob Grenier makes his way out to a chorus of boo’s. Wearing a hoodie, with the hood pulled up he angrily storms to the ring with HIS Internet Title slung over his shoulder. He grabs a microphone from Belverdere at Ringside and scolds him for not doing so in a timely manner. Grenier throws his Internet Title in the ring and slides under the bottom rope.
Hood: Greatest Man Alive!
Smith: Looks as though the Internet Champion has something to say.
Bob grabs his Internet Championship from the mat and proceeds to hang it on the top rope.
Bob: Chad Vargas, You’ve been gone for a minute, maybe you didn’t realize something from your goddamn hospital bed. I’ve kind of become the man around here. Me and my merry band of thugs in Power & Worth are tearing this place apart.. and at Genesis you stuck your nose where it doesn’t fucking belong and for that you will pay the ultimate price. You just can’t go away can you?
The crowd continues to boo the Internet Champion. They curse his name at the top of their lungs as he smiles and continues to speak.
Bob: Chad, I’m not just making empty threats. You’re dealing with immense Power here. You’re dealing with the most destructive force this company has ever seen. With The Incredible General Manager of Massacre, Mr. Ian Bishop firmly in our corner and Knox waiting in the wings, I’d be fucking scared right now, “Southern Hammer”
They cheer at the mention of Chad Vargas. Bob looks out into the crowd and sneers.
Bob: A month and a half ago, You people are fucking booing this guy.. You people don’t know what the fuck you want. Here’s what were going to do tonight.. Seeing as the Powers that Be forgot I don’t take days off, and left me off the fucking card tonight, I’m putting myself into action and I’m putting my Internet Championship on the line, because quite frankly.. I’m The Greatest Man alive…
The lights in the arena engulf into darkness, as the eyes of the audience are now glued on the entrance ramp as they wait patiently for the arrival of Mark Storm. Playing through the PA System "Jungle" by X Ambassadors featuring Jay Z, as pyrotechnics shoot up around the stage as the audience get up on their feet and cheer as emerging from the tunnel is Mark Storm who stands on the top of the entrance ramp. With a smirk on his face, the future of wrestling raises his arms up high in the air, embracing the love of the audience before making his way down to the entrance ramp.
Won’t you follow me into the jungle? (yeah)
Bob: You want another Chance, It’s your funeral. Let’s get a referee.
Scruff enters the ring and verifies that Bob wants to do this, he does. Scruff rings the bell and it starts off innocently enough, Mark Storm charges at Grenier with an clothesline and Grenier ducks it, Storm and Grenier both stop in their tracks and look at each other, Grenier smacks storm in the mouth and laughs, Storm responds with with an elbow to the face and whips Grenier into the ropes, on the rebound he hits a back body drop and mounts Grenier, he begins to hammer on Bob’s face with lefts. Storm begins to stomp away on Grenier and picks him up off the mat, he set’s him up and nails a shining wizard to the temple of Grenier. Grenier goes down and storm props him back up and knee’s him in the chest.
Hood: Storm looks really impressive here.
Smith: Really taking it to our Internet Champion.
Hood: It’s not going to last, Power & Worth are certainly lurking.
Storm locks Bob into a side headlock and begins to wear him down. Storm then sets him up and hits the New York Hustle!!
Hood: New Internet Champion!
The referee counts two and all of a sudden Richard appears from under the ring, With a TASER.
Hood: What the fuck? Where did that little rat come from?
Smith: Under the ring, Dummy, We all saw it.
Storm turns his attention to Richard, who is pressing the trigger of the taser and laughing like a mad man, Grenier hit’s a lowblow and Richard begins to Taser Mark Storm!! He tasters him 3 times laughing all the while as Storm convulses on the mat. Richard handcuffs Mark Storm to the bottom rope. Richard tasers Storm again and OCW security rushes the ring, Richard frightens them off with the taser. Grenier and Storm begin to kick Storm in the midsection. Grenier slides under the bottom rope and retrieves his trusty hammer from under the ring.
Hood: Not again.
Smith: Storm clearly didn’t show up, again.
Grenier looks at the hammer with malicious intent and swings mightily, nailing Storm into the face and causing quite a large amount of blood loss. Storm hangs from the top rope handcuffed and suffering as Bob Grenier hit’s him again. The crowd is flipping out. A Mark Storm fan tries to rush the ring and Bob swings the bloody hammer at him, narrowly missing. The fan retreats and Bob grabs a microphone. He looks right at Storm.
Grenier: POWER & WORTH!!! Vargas…
He looks at the hammer and back at Storm
Grenier: Run.
Richard and Grenier retreat while various OCW personnel rush the ring to check on Storm. They cannot find the handcuff key. Bob Grenier and Richard laugh while backing up the aisle. Bob puts the key down in the middle of the aisle and leaves with one last word for the Unworthy Mark Storm.
Grenier: Make sure to throw away that trash.
Grenier and Richard leave the scene and Mark Storm is loaded onto a stretcher, writhing in pain. They wheel his bloody ass down the aisle and he gives the crowd the classic thumbs up, letting them know he may be back one day.
Ain’t no God on these streets in the heart of the jungle (oh, Lord child)
Won’t you follow me into the jungle? (yeah)
Ain't no god on my streets in the heart of the jungle (oh lord child)
Won't you follow me into the jungle
At this point, Storm has reached the bottom of the entrance ramp, after connecting with high fives with a few of the audience members by the ramp. He jumps onto the apron before entering the ring, immediately he hoists himself up onto the nearest turnbuckle, with his hands crossed together in an x position he raised his arms up in the air, glaring at the thousands in attendance holding their OCW merchandise and chanting his name. Storm jumps down from the top rope, licking his dry lips as he goes over to his corner clasping his hands together as he is prepared for action!
The Green Bastard (1-3) vs. Alice Knight (5-2)
Smith: Alice Knight made her return last week at Genesis and was hand picked by President Cassidy to be next in line for the newly formed TransAtlantic championship.
Hood: So beautiful yet so dangerous. Ana Archia won’t have a chance.
Smith: Her first match in a number of month she’s set to take on the very peculiar Green Bastard!
Hood: Belve-dere take away you dorky son of a bitch!
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Parts Unknown weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, he is… The Green Bastard!
“Closer to the Heart” by Rush blasts over the PA system as The Green Bastard makes his way down the aisle to a series of cheers. The fans love this obese masked funny man. Green Bastard climbs into the ring and awaits his opponent.
Belvedere: His opponent, hailing from Bethel, New York weighing in at one hundred and twenty five pounds, she is… Alice Knight!
“Electrified” by Dressy Bessy hits as Alice Knight walks down the aisle, fans cheering her on as they haven’t seen her in action in quite some time. Alice climbs into the ring addressing the fans and then nods at Belvedere. Belvedere smiles and tells her to ‘Go get ‘em’
Smith: Here we go!
Hood: Let’s go Alice rip that fuckin’ clownshoe’s mask off!
Alice Knight looks up and down at The Green Bastard with a face of disgust. Green Bastard skips around the ring trying to show off his cape. Knight finally has had enough, and she throws a fist to the face of the Bastard, knocking him into the ropes. Knight begins an onslaught of stiff rights and lefts to the face of TGB. Suddenly The Green Bastard is able to block one of Knight’s fisticuffs, and then he slams a head butt that knocks down Knight. The Green Bastard bounces off of the ropes, Knight comes back hitting a back elbow making TGB stumble backwards into the ropes, Knight answers with a big boot to the face sending The Green Bastard to the mat.
Smith: Huge Boot by Alice Knight!
Alice quickly climbs to the top rope and leaps off, nailing The Green Bastard with a flying headbutt. Alice Knight then picks The Green Bastard, and as she does the Green Bastard nails a hard elbow to her stomach. Alice Knight buckles over briefly and The Green Bastard whips his cock out and attempts to piss on Alice Knight!
Smith: He needs to keep that thing in his pants!
Hood: He just needs to urinate. It’s human nature.
Alice backs away from the Green Bastard as he stuffs his dick back into his pants. Alice bounces off the ropes and hit’s The Green Bastard with a clothesline, sending him to the mat. She begins to stomp away on The Green Bastard when the Green Bastard grabs Knight’s foot and throws her back. Alice falls to the ground and The Green Bastard marches around the ring, playing up the crowd.
Smith: Idiot Needs to stay on her.
Hood: Nobody said he was the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Alice Knight nips back up and hits a chop across the chest of the Green Bastard. She throws the Green Bastard into the ropes and on his way back she attempts a back body drop, the Green Bastard skillfully rolls over top of Alice Knight and lands on his feet behind her, when she turns around he pokes her in the eye and whips her into the ropes, hitting a belly to belly suplex.
Smith: Really nice Show of Skill from the Green Bastard.
Hood: Underneath all that goofiness, Is a man who can actually wrestle.
The Bastard picks up Alice Knight and hits a scoop slam. He goes for the cover but only gets a two count.
Smith: The Green Bastard was a second away from knocking off Alice Knight.
Hood: She is far from done.
The Green Bastard again picks up Alice Knight, He places her in a bear hug and squeezes tight, she uses her small frame to slip out of the bear hug. Alice falls to the mat but when The Green Bastard advances on her she performs a small package. The Green Bastard kicks out a two.
Smith: She almost got him!
Hood: Element of surprise right there.
The Green Bastard gets up and is met with a stiff shot to the face by Alice Knight, who know seems to be in the mood to brawl. She hit’s a stiff right, followed by a left and another strong right, sending the Green Bastard reeling into the ropes. Alice runs off the far ropes and hits The Green Bastard with a huge shoulder block, sending The Green Bastard down hard, The Green Bastard falls through the ropes and lands outside the ring. Phil Collins tries to get The Green Bastard into the ring, and does so successfully.
Smith: Look at that fucking mustard tiger.
Hood: Onion ring sasquatch.
She attempts to pick the Green Bastard up but he manages to roll her up into a small package of his own. Alice Knight kicks out at 2. The Green Bastard slams his fists into the mat in frustration and Alice nails a stiff kick to the side of his head. The Green Bastard goes down and Alice picks him back up and body slams him. She nails a quick elbow drop onto his chest as he is down, she follows this up with a few stiff shots to the face of the Green Bastard. She picks him up and nails an X-Factor as the Green Bastard is out on the ground, Alice Knight sets him up and delivers The Apache: Honor Roll. She covers the Green Bastard.
1..
2…
3….
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, winner of this match and moving onto Last Man Standing… ALICE KNIGHT!!!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall with the winning team earning a shot at the OCW Tag Team Championship!
”Daughters of Darkness” hits as the new OCW TransAtlantic Champion, Ana Archia and Serena Ransolver make their way to the ring.
Belvedere: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 223 lbs…the OCW TransAtlantic Champion, Ana Archia and Serena Ransolver….Red, White, & Blonde!!
”Don’t Stop” by Foster the People begins to play as the crowd rushes to their feet in support of the Danger Boiz. Dan and Chris rush down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope and posing on the top turnbuckles for all the fans.
Belvedere: And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 453lbs…Dangerous Dan and Crazy Chris…The Danger Boiz!!!
The bell sounds as Belvedere exits, taking the TransAtlantic title from Ana. As Dan looks over at Ana, still in shock that he lost to her at Genesis.
Smith: The unexpected grief that comes from losing a championship match.
Hood: No shit, Dangerous Dan has to be looking at Ana thinking “what the fuck”
Smith: He goes from feuding with 500 pound Bifford to
Hood: Fifty pound Ana
Smith: Quite the contrast
Serena decides to give it a go first for her team as Chris starts things off for the Boiz. Chris goes to lock up with Serena, but Serena ducks his arms and runs into the ropes, Chris turns around and is nailed with a dropkick to the left leg! His left leg kicks out from under him, dropping Chris to one knee. Serena measures Chris up and drills him in the side of the head with a side kick! Chris falls over, holding the side of his head in pain.
Smith: Okay, quick start by the women
Hood: I guess it doesn’t matter how much you weigh if you just kick the shit out of your opponents knees and head.
Smith: It is an effective strategy
Hood: I did hear the Danger Boiz are thinking of changing their name in hopes it might breed future success
Smith: To what? The Krazy Kidz?
Hood: Actually, I was going to say Danger Boys…you know, with a y and an s…but I like yours better…and it pains me to say that.
Smith: Never got that tooth fixed, did you
Hood: Dentists are fucking expensive
Serena quickly tags in the OCW TransAtlantic Champion as she rushes into a corner and perches herself up on the middle rope. Chris slowly gets to his feet as Ana leaps off and drills him with a Missile Drop kick!! Chris staggers back into the ropes, stumbling off as Ana leaps up, wraps her legs around his head and takes him down with a Huricanrana!! Scruff slides in for the count
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Whoa!! The TransAtlantic champion nearly won it for her team…she’s obviously still on a roll from Genesis!!
Hood: Fuck me…I can’t believe THAT is a champion…it’s depressing
Smith: Hey…she’s a supremely talented performer with tremendous in ring skills
Hood: SHE’S GOT THE BODY OF AN ASIAN LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYER. Seriously, they turn the AC down during her matches so she doesn’t fly away.
Smith: THEY DO NOT
Ana remains on top of Chris, punching away at his masked face after he kicked out of the pin attempt. She gets to her feet, yanking him up as well. She whips him into her corner, he lands semi hard…I mean, she only has so much strength in those twiggy arms. She rushes in and nails him with a Stinger Splash!! Ana then tags in Serena. Serena ascends to the top rope…as she does, Ana twirls Chris around, delivering a Back Stabber! Chris is laid out on the mat as Serena leaps off, drilling Chris with a Guillotine Leg Drop! Ana hops out of the ring as Serena goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another close one, these girls are double tough
Hood: Double tough…why not triple tough? I’ve never heard triple tough…is double like the max amount of toughness one can achieve?
Smith: I’ve never really put more than a second’s worth of thought into the saying, Hood
Hood: I’m just asking…because, like I bet Arnold from the Predator is more than double tough…wouldn’t you
Smith: He did survive under extreme circumstances.
Hood: Certainly tougher than kicking out of a leg drop, right?
Smith: Okay, so maybe Chris is tough
Hood: I’m just saying, if Double Tough is the max, I wouldn’t throw it around so haphazardly
Suddenly a fan jumps the barricade and starts to dance around the announce table. Hood and Smith do their best to ignore the idiot. He’s wearing a “YOLO” shirt. Back inside the ring, Serena pulls Chris to his feet and drills him with a few forearm uppercuts. Serena whips Chris into the ropes, he bounces off and she goes for a spinning wheel kick but Chris catches her leg!! Chris locks her into his body and hurls her over his head with a Capture Suplex!! Serena lands hard as Chris turns around and moves to tag in his brother, Dangerous Dan.
Smith: Can security remove this fan?
Hood: Fucking Yolo-ers
Smith: Indeed…in other news, Crazy Chris has shifted the momentum in this match
Hood: I’m sorry, but MC Hammer out here is blocking my view
Smith: Is he breaking it down?
Hood: He’s doing something
The fan suddenly slips on a banana peel, falls to the floor and breaks his neck; dying instantly.
Smith: Is he?
Hood: Yep, he dead
Smith: Yolo, right?
Hood: I guess so…unless there are banana peels around…but, hey…more death!
Smith: Wouldn’t be an OCW show without RANDOM DEATH
Chris tags Dan in who goes right after Serena. Serena is on her knees, holding onto the middle rope trying to get to her feet. Dan rushes in, kicking her in the ribs. Serena clutches her ribs in pain, leaning against the ropes. Dan elbows Serena in the back of the head forcing her to lean across the ropes, throat against the middle rope and head poking towards the crowd. Dan runs into the opposite ropes, bounces off and flies in jumping on the back of Serena, crushing her throat against the middle rope!! Serena falls back into the ring, holding her neck in pain.
Smith: Dangerous Dan is focused
Hood: Yea, he saw that guy die and was like “Life’s too fucking short to be losing to toddlers”
Smith: Perhaps
Serena rolls towards the middle of the ring, lying on her back, still clutching her throat. Dan hops up onto the apron, grabs the top rope and leaps into the air, springing off the top rope with a leg drop! He lands right on top of Serena before going for a quick pin.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Another kickout by Serena! She’s Ransilient!!
Hood: The fuck did you just say?
Smith: You know, just playing off her name
Hood: Can we stick with Serena…last names on females are way too confusing.
Smith: PIG!
Dan pops back to his feet, tagging Chris in. Chris hops up onto the top rope as Dan yanks Serena up, draping her across his knee. Chris leaps off with a flying elbow, drilling Serena in the head, knocking her off of Dan’s knee and head first into the mat. Chris goes for a quick pin as Dan exits the ring.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another kickout by Serena, she’s tough to keep on her back
Hood: Have a lot of trouble with that, do ya?
Smith: Excuse me?
Hood: Keeping women on their backs…do they fight you off? Do they throw YOU on your back…or, even worse, do they force you on all fours while they strap on?
Smith: Please, stop talking
Chris pulls Serena to her feet, whipping her into the nearest corner. Serena hits hard. Chris charges in, going for a spear…Serena darts out of the way, causing Chris to ram his shoulder into the middle turnbuckle. He staggers backwards, Serena grabs his head and drops him to the mat with an inverted DDT. She then lunges for her partner’s hand, tagging Ana in!
Smith: The TransAtlantic Champion has been tagged into the match, here we go!
Hood: Ugh
Smith: Something wrong?
Hood: Shouldn’t it be obvious by now?
Ana runs into the ropes, bounces off as Chris gets to his feet…she flies through the air with a spinning wheel kick, drilling Chris!! He falls into the ropes…ricochets off and into a dropkick by Ana!! Chris falls to the mat. Ana grabs his legs and hooks him for a catapult…she falls back and he flies into Ana’s corner…Serena is there as she meets a flying Chris with a kick into the face!!! Chris staggers back as Ana rolls him up for a quick pin.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Ohhhh so close!
Hood: Oh for the love, c’mon Danger Boiz…pull this one out
Smith: Are you seriously pulling for the uber face team of Dan and Chris
Hood: When you consider the alternative, fuck yea…and don’t say uber ever again
Ana yanks Chris to his feet and whips him into the nearest corner…Chris crouches down, slamming into the corner and flipping up onto the top rope with his back to Ana. Ana charges in, climbing the ropes and looks to hook Chris for a German Suplex off the top rope. Chris elbows her in the head…she falls to the mat and staggers near Dan…Dan throws a Superkick through the ropes, drilling Ana…Scruff somehow missed it, probably because he’s terrible at his job. Ana remains on her feet stunned after the Superkick.
Smith: Dangerous Dan is obviously still a bit angry over his defeat at Genesis
Hood: Can you blame him?
Smith: I guess not
Chris turns around, perched at the top and he leaps off, kicking Ana in the head with Crazy Man’s Suicide!! Ana falls to the mat as Chris pins her, Scruff makes the count.
1!
2!
3!!!!
The bell rings as the Danger Boiz have their hands held in victory.
Belvedere: Here are your winners and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS TO THE OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS….THE DANGER BOIZ!!!!!
Smith: Tremendous victory as Dangerous Dan exacted a bit of revenge on Ana Archia
Hood: Yep…and now they have Amber Ryan and whoever the fuck in their sights
Smith: Yea, that is a good point…who are our tag champs at the moment.
Hood: Don’t ask me, you act as though I keep up with this shit
Smith: I don’t know why I keep making that mistake…let’s head backstage
Special Referee: OCW World Champion, MJ Bell
PerZag (15-4) vs. Sean Fuller (10-4)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and the winner will face MJ Bell for the OCW World Title at Last Man Standing!! Introducing first our special Guest Referee…OCW World Champion, MJ Bell!!
The drums entrance of “ Soul Wars” by AWOLNATION begins to play through the P.A system as smoke begins to flood the entrance ramp. Immediately the crowd begins to cheer as MJ emerges out from smoke walking with a confident smirk on her face. As MJ makes her way to the ring she interacts with the crowd giving out hand-fives. She climbs up onto the apron before moving between the ropes into ring. Both of her arms lift in the air only encouraging the reactions from the crowd before shouting “Burn It down!” which gains a pop from the crowd. She leans against the ropes with a grin across her features waiting for the match to begin.
Smith: There she is, Hood…our new World Champion…the first OCW World Champion in over a decade…making her first OCW appearance since winning the belt.
Hood: Well whoop-a-dee-doo
Smith: Rude!
Hood: I’m sorry, but I’m just not an Awolnation fan
"Nexus" starts to play as the lights go out. A spotlight shines down on the entrance and Sean Fuller emerges with his newest adviser Celeste Cooper following not far behind. She steps out to Sean's left applauding him and smiling in his direction as the arena is silent. Sean stands on the stage surveying the crowd from left to right with a menacing, dark smile; dressed in a long black coat and jet black wrestling tights. He has his right foot edged out ahead of his left and the rest of his body follows suit. Sean takes it all on and finishes his surveillance of the the crowd then proceeds to make his way to the ring with Celeste not far behind him. Needless to say the fans are not supportive of anyone who would accompany Sean Fuller to the ring.
Belvedere: And now, for the participants…introducing first, from Parts Unknown, standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…Sean Fuller!!
The lights of the arena go out. All that is seen is a small glow of light from the entrance ramp. ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ by Survivor starts to play over the PA system. A hooded figure walks on to the entrance ramp. The lights come back on as the hooded figure stands still on the stage. The hooded figure walks down to the ring slowly. He gets into the ring and stands in the centre of it. He slowly removes the hood and shows his hideous scars throughout the arena. 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor stops playing as PerZag walks over to a corner in the ring and crouches down near it.
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Benalla, standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…The Worthiest of them All….PerZag!!!
Belvedere exits the ring as the bell sounds. MJ hands her title through the ropes to Belvedere, PerZag watches with a lustful glare. Sean Fuller takes note of PerZag’s attention.
Smith: PerZag was so close to winning that title just over a week ago
Hood: In my opinion PerZag is our REAL champion
Smith: Yea, well he doesn’t have the belt so keep living in your fictional universe
Hood: A major wrong will be corrected at Last Man Standing and it starts with this match
Smith: I disagree
Hood: That is, if that bitch will call this one fairly
With Zag staring at the title, Fuller rushes in and knees Zag right in the ribcage!!! Zag staggers into the ropes as Fuller unloads with an assault of forearms onto Zag’s back. Fuller then hooks Zag around the waist, lifts him up and drops him into the center of the ring with a Gut Wrench Suplex.
Smith: Fast start by Sean Fuller…he’s got a chance tonight to ascend to heights he’s never seen in OCW.
Hood: Closest he came was that match against Brianna all those months ago
Smith: Yes and some fans feel he should have won that match
Hood: Count me in, Fuller was fuckin screwed
Smith: Wait…what about his match with Pryde
Hood: C’mon, man, he wasn’t beating Pryde
Smith: Disagree!
Fuller stomps on PerZag while he’s down. He watches as Zag rolls on all fours, trying to get to his feet…before he can, Fuller stomps on him again. Fuller repeats this process several times, as if he’s playing with PerZag. MJ stands back and watches as Fuller toys with PerZag.
Hood: Look at her…Look at our champion, so biased!
Smith: Nothing illegal is transpiring in the ring, Hood…what is she supposed to do
Hood: Hand the title over to PerZag
Smith: That is NOT happening
Fuller goes to kick Zag again…this time, Zag catches Fuller’s leg and he twists it to the side, contorting Fuller’s knee in an unnatural direction. Fuller staggers to the side, lifting the wounded leg off the mat. This allows PerZag the opportunity to get to his feet. Fuller is now leaning against the ropes, Zag sprints in and he clotheslines Fuller over the top rope!! Fuller lands hard on the outside and instantly grabs his wounded, left knee. MJ walks up and warns PerZag not to head outside the ropes.
Hood: That cheating bitch!
Smith: This is not a falls count anywhere match, Hood…she’s simply trying to maintain order
Hood: She’s trying to screw PerZag…she knows she can’t beat him in a one on one situation
Smith: I highly doubt that
Zag looks at MJ with a bit more than a hint of frustration. She warns him again not to head outside. PerZag finally says ‘fuck it’ and he steps through the ropes. MJ, furious, hesitates on whether or not to act. Zag leaps off the apron at Fuller, who is on his feet. Fuller catches Zag in midair and lunges forward, slamming Zag’s back into the ring apron!! Zag falls to his knees, arching his back in pain. Fuller walks around, testing his knee out as MJ sticks her head through the ropes, yelling for both men to return to the ring.
Smith: Things are getting a bit chaotic
Hood: Bitch has lost control
Smith: Will you PLEASE stop calling her that
Hood: Hey, if the shoe fits, brother
Smith: That shoe most definitely does not fit…you’re more of a b-word than she is
Hood: Hahaha, B-word, you’re fucking serious?
Fuller yanks Zag to his feet and moves to toss him into the ring. MJ pulls her head back, relieved…as she does, Fuller drills Zag’s head into the ring steps!! MJ screams at Fuller, stepping through the ropes and hopping onto the outside floor. Fuller shrugs with a slick smile before turning around and kicks PerZag in the face!! The back of his head smacks into the steel steps.
Smith: That maniac is out of control
Hood: No, this whole match is out of control because of MJ Bell and her indecisiveness
Smith: Disagree
Hood: Disagree all you want, doesn’t mean it isn’t true
Fuller yanks PerZag to his feet and goes to whip him across the ring, towards the ring post. MJ warns Fuller not to. As usually, Fuller disobeys and he flings PerZag in her direction. MJ darts out of the way as Zag’s head slams into the ring post!! He staggers around, surprisingly remaining on his feet, before coming to rest against the guard rail. Fuller charges in…as he reaches Zag, Zag ducks and lifts Fuller over the guard rail and into the crowd!! Fuller lands hard with popcorn and soda flying everywhere.
Smith: I don’t know how PerZag maintained the whereabouts to pull off such a move
Hood: It was just a back body drop…all he had to do was fucking duck
Smith: Still, his head hit the steel ring post.
Hood: They don’t make steel in Connecticut like they do everywhere else
Smith: I would like to see documented evidence to back up that claim
Hood: What are you, a fuckin Husky or something?
Zag reaches over the guard rail, snagging Fuller by his hair. He yanks Fuller to his feet and hooks him for a suplex. MJ warns Zag not to do it…Zag, like Fuller, does not listen. He lifts Fuller up for a vertical suplex…he slowly falls back as the middle of Fuller’s back slams into the ring apron!! Fuller’s legs get caught under the bottom rope, leaving him hanging upside down. Zag, returning to his feet, notices Fuller’s predicament and jumps in the air, dropkicking Fuller in the face!! This dislodges Fuller’s feet as he falls on his head onto the hard, exterior floor. MJ grabs PerZag by the shoulder and starts screaming at him to get back into the ring.
Hood: It’s a good thing we don’t award championships based on someone’s ability to ref a match.
Smith: Probably because we don’t want Scruff as a champion.
Hood: True, he’d pawn the damn thing
Smith: Or worse
Hood: What could be worse than that?
Smith: Selling all your clothes and showing up to events with only a belt covering your nether regions
Hood: Fucking gross, man
Smith: Then again, he probably hasn’t manscaped in awhile, so you wouldn’t be able to see much of anything anyway…he is a hairy fellow
Hood: STOP
MJ points towards the bell across the ring which finally gets Zag’s attention. Zag rolls his eyes before pulling Fuller up and rolling him back into the ring, underneath the ropes. Fuller is lying on his back near the center of the ring. Zag hops onto the apron…he grabs the top rope, using it for leverage and jumps over the top with a senton splash on Fuller!! Zag goes for the pin as MJ slides in, making the count.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close one!! PerZag nearly cashed his ticket to Last Man Standing
Hood: Should be over, that was a slow count…I think I saw MJ paint her nails in between two and three.
Smith: Umm no, that most certainly did not happen
Hood: You’re due for an eye exam
Zag shoots a glare MJ’s way as MJ rolls her eyes, not in any mood to put up with Zag’s attitude. Zag returns to his feet, yanking Fuller off the mat. He drills Fuller with a couple of vicious forearm uppercuts…this backs Fuller into a nearby corner. Zag whips Fuller out of the corner, he sprints across the ring, towards the opposite corner. Zag sprints in behind him. Fuller grabs the top rope and leaps into the air, over a sprinting Zag. Zag slams front first into the corner as Fuller hooks him around the midsection, lifting Zag into the air with a German Suplex and landing it!! He bridges for a pin.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another close fall…Fuller came out of nowhere to nearly steal this match
Hood: Fuckin guy is a zombie…remember that match against Pryde?
Smith: Yes, we referenced it at the start of the match
Hood: Oh
Fuller gets to his feet and he yanks Zag up as well. He whips Zag into the nearest corner…Zag hits hard. Fuller charges in but Zag ducks and he lifts Fuller up, high into the air…Fuller, though, is able to hold onto the rope and maneuver himself to where he lands on his feet, right on the apron. He extends his arm, grabbing Zag by the hair and begins to repeatedly slam the back of Zag’s head into the top turnbuckle. Zag staggers forward. Fuller hops up onto the top rope. Zag turns around and leaps into the air, dropkicking the top turnbuckle!!! Fuller loses his balance and he gets crotched on the top.
Smith: A lot of fast action taking place in that corner
Hood: Yea, Fuller is caught now…hopefully that murdered his sperm count. We don’t need any little Fullers running around.
Smith: Children of the Corn
Hood: Never saw it…and I hate corn
Smith: Meaningless information, Hood
With Fuller crotched, Zag ascends to the top, securing Fuller’s head and arm. He hooks him for a Superplex…Zag then lifts Fuller up and leaps off the top rope, drilling him into the mat with a top rope Perfect Plex!! Zag holds on for the pin as MJ slides in, making the count.
1!
2!
3!!!
The bell rings
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE OCW WORLD TITLE…PERZAG!!!!!
Smith: PerZag did it!! He’s got his one on one shot against MJ Bell…a shot at redemption and glory.
Hood: MJ Bell’s days are numbered…bitch knows it’s over
MJ raises PerZag’s arm in victory as PerZag looks down at her, motioning around his waist with his free hand. MJ simply smirks before exiting the ring and snagging her title. Looking up at PerZag, who is looking down at MJ…she lifts the title in the air, showing it off.
Smith: I can’t wait for that one, Hood…it’s going to be a doozy
Hood: Well, I don’t know what a doozy is, but that match is going to be fucking amazing…especially the ending.
Smith: Are you psychic now?
Hood: I have a certificate for tarot reading that I received from a guy
Smith: A guy?
Hood: Yea, a guy
Smith: Okay then, let’s head backstage
Meanwhile, backstage, newly appointed Vice President, Shane Anderson sits in his new office, shuffling through a stack of memos, Head of security Mack Hollywood sits in the corner, rolling himself up a phatty.
Shane Anderson: With the abrupt departure of Sarah Twilight, we now are stuck in a situation where we have no one holding the Oh Shit! Contract. Let me remind y’all what that is exactly, the Oh Shit! Contract is a special contract that can be turned in at any time and can be used to garner a championship title shot of the particular holder’s choosing. To avoid this from becoming allegedly cursed along with the Internet championship, I am going to take it upon myself and award the contract too… Mack get me a drum roll?
Hollywood stuffs the freshly rolled doobie in his mouth and wraps his hands against his knees. Anderson scoffs at the pathetic attempt at a drum roll, but still, carries on.
Shane Anderson: The new Oh Shit! Contract holder is… Sean Fuller! Champions, be aware! Mack, let’s go find a piece to burn that shall we?
Mack smirks and nods in excitement as the cameras fade to ringside.
Caution © (5-2) vs. Brandon Gateman (2-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! This match will be contested under Hardcore Rules and it is for the OCW Hardcore Title!!
Reach Out by Scott Stapp plays and Gateman walks onto the stage and looks around. He raises arms to the side as gold pyro falls down over him. Gateman walks down the ramp, ignoring fans then gets inside the ring, climbs the corner turnbuckle and extends his arms again as gold and white pyro fall from the ceiling.
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 255 lbs…Brandon Gateman!!
”Hard Workin’ Man” by Brooks N Dunn begins to play as the crowd stands and shows respect for the super old, yet super hardcore OCW superstar, Caution. He reaches the ring, rolls in underneath the bottom rope and holds his title up.
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 255lbs…he is the OCW Hardcore Champion…Caution!!!
The bell rings as Belvedere exits with Caution’s Hardcore Title. Gateman, standing in his corner, looks towards the old man. Caution unearths a pair of barbed wire brass knuckles from his trunks and runs at Gateman. Gateman’s eyes widen as he steps through the ropes and hops to the outside as Caution swings wildly, missing.
Smith: Not sure Brandon Gateman knew what he was getting into
Hood: The fuckin old man came to play
Smith: Indeed he did
Gateman reaches in and grabs Caution by the legs…he yanks them out from underneath him. Caution lands on the mat hard as Gateman rips him from the ring, to the outside. He yanks him out so violently, that Caution’s body drops from the apron to the floor with his back smacking against the pavement, knocking the breath from his lungs.
Smith: Smart move by Gateman; get the old man off his feet
Hood: Yea, old men have a tough time getting up
Smith: That they do
Gateman stomps on Caution, keeping the old man stunned. He then forcibly removes the brass knuckles from Caution’s hand. He grabs Caution by the hair and holds the weapon up to his face, yelling at him. Gateman then drills Caution in the head with them!! This busts Caution open slightly, with a small stream of blood trickling its way across his scarred forehead.
Smith: Brandon Gateman strikes first
Hood: Yea, if you’re going to bring a gun to a knife fight…make sure they knife guy doesn’t take the gun from you
Smith: Umm, sure
Hood: Hey, it made sense to me
Gateman slings the brass knuckles under the ring, ridding himself of the device. He lifts Caution to his feet, dragging the old man to the guard rail. He lifts Caution up and drops him, throat first across the guard rail!! Caution grabs his throat in pain. Gateman leans Caution up against the railing and begins to administer a few chops across Caution’s chest.
Smith: I know Brandon Gateman is a veteran who’s been out for several years…but, in this case, he’s got the freshest legs of the two.
Hood: Sorry, but I do not stare at another man’s legs
Smith: You know what I mean
Hood: I never know what you mean
Gateman takes a few steps back, measuring Caution up. He then rushes in for a clothesline, but Caution lifts a knee up into Gateman’s gut!! Gateman doubles over as Caution leans in and bites Gateman on the forehead!! Gateman kicks his legs wildly before breaking free…his head is busted open from the bite. He turns his back to Caution, feeling around the cut, inspecting the damage. Caution takes this opportunity to hook Gateman around the waist…he lifts Gateman over his head, tossing him over the guard rail and into the crowd with a Release German Suplex!! Gateman lands hard as Caution heads for the ring apron, looking under it for weapons.
Smith: What a suplex! Caution busting out a wrestling move!
Hood: And now, like a hobo in search of recyclables, Caution is seeking a weapon
Smith: Hobo? You think he’s an Alice Knight fan
Hood: Ugh, I hope not…another mark in the loser column if that’s the case
Smith: Hey, I like her
Hood: You would
Caution finds a steel chair. He turns around as Gateman is on all fours…Caution reaches over the guard rail and he drills Gateman in the back with the steel chair!! Gateman flattens out, face first on the floor. Caution turns around and hurls the chair into the ring. He then lifts Gateman up by his hair and pulls him over the guard rail, dragging him to the ring and tossing him backside before following suit.
Smith: Caution…in a shocking act…is taking the action INSIDE THE RING
Hood: Maybe the old man is turning over a new leaf
Smith: It’s never too late to change
Caution grabs the steel chair as Gateman is on his feet and he cracks it over Gateman’s head!! Gateman collapses to the mat.
Smith: Then again, maybe not
Caution goes for the pin as Scruff slides in, making the count.
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Gateman kicked out…he’s got some life left in him still
Hood: After that brutal match he had against Legion, I’d never count this guy out…fucking Legion is like what would happen if Michael Myers impregnated Godzilla.
Smith: Is Godzilla a man?
Hood: Mothra?
Smith: That seems to work better, mentally
Hood: Okay then!
Caution yanks Gateman to his feet, kicking him in the gut. Caution positions the steel chair at his feet. He then hooks Gateman’s head between his legs, signaling he’s going for his patented Jacknife Powerbomb!! Caution lifts Gateman up, as he does, Gateman grabs the steel chair underneath him…at the apex of the move, Gateman drills Caution in the face with the steel chair!! Caution staggers back from the blow, against the ropes. Gateman tosses the chair on the mat after landing on his feet. Caution bounces off the ropes as Gateman grabs his head and drills him, onto the chair with the BKO!!! Caution’s body goes flat as Gateman rolls him over and makes the pin…Scruff administers the count.
1!
2!
3!!!
The bell rings as Scruff is handed the Hardcore Title. Gateman reaches his feet and is awarded his first ever OCW Championship.
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND THE NEW OCW HARDCORE CHAMPION…BRANDON GATEMAN!!!!!
Smith: What a huge win for Gateman!!
Hood: Caution is no joke and Gateman was able to outlast him tonight to earn his first ever singles title.
Smith: And this comes barely a week removed from his narrow lost against Legion
Hood: Lose a number one contenders match and then win a title before the guy you lost to gets his title shot…gotta fucking love OCW.
Smith: Always!
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