OCW Presents: Monday Night Massacre
Live! April 7th, 2014
From the Montana State Gymnasium in Bozeman, Montana
~Just like last week, the show cold-opens on a backstage area. This time, it is a dim utility closet. The One True OCW World and Internet Champion Scott Syren sits in the corner with a stack of magazines, an exacto knife, and a bottle of rubber cement. A single-bulb worklight hangs down from the ceiling by its cord, lending harsh highlights and eerie shadows to the scene. We can see Syren cutting out individual letters from the magazines' headlines and gluing them onto a sheet of paper. He wears a pair of disposable latex gloves while he works. Occasionally, he sticks his nose into the mouth of the rubber cement bottle and takes a deep huff. Syren's transvestite friend Berta leans against a shelf opposite Syren, watching him work on his project.~
Berta: What are you doing?
Syren: Writing a message.
Berta: Umm, okay. I mean, I dig the whole Sex Pistols thing, but... how to put this... haven't you ever heard of e-mail?
Syren: Don't be a fool. I want the letter to be untraceable.
Berta: Okay then... haven't you ever heard of encrypted e-mail?
~Syren looks up from his project, equal parts hurt and irritation written on his face.~
Syren: Well I'm almost done with it now. And I spent a lot of time on it.
Berta: Who is it for?
Syren: Agent A.
Berta: Who the hell is “Agent A?”
Syren: Pryde, obviously.
Berta: Why the hell is Pryde “Agent A”? Shouldn't he be Agent P?
Syren: No.
Berta: Why not?
Syren: Because Agent P is a cartoon platypus. It would be extremely confusing.
Berta: What the fuck are you babbling about? Do you want me to get my laptop and you can just write a fucking e-mail? That cutting and pasting looks really tedious, and quite frankly the glue-huffing isn't doing your personality any favors.
Syren: No! Don't you dare bring a computer in here. I can't trust e-mail no matter how encrypted it is... Dean is inside the computers.
Berta: Dean is inside the computers?!
Syren: That is correct.
Berta: Holy shit, man. What does that even... Scott, you need to stop this.
Syren: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Berta: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Syren: Are you really even my friend? Or did Dean plant you in my life five years ago just to infiltrate Operation Zero?
Berta: I'm not going to sit here and take this.
Syren: No, you're not. Because you're not allowed in here anymore. Get away from my secret message.
Berta: You're being a total dick. You know that, right?
Syren: Peace out, spy.
Berta: You can come find me when you're ready to apologize.
Syren: Sorry, I'll be too busy saving the OCW from itself.
Berta: Yeah? Well don't come to me when you need help.
Syren: I won't need to. There are others... others who are more... worthy. In the cracks and the shadows and the dark places where Dean and Brianna and the Family forgot to set up their bugs... that is where I will find others who crave the truth. That is where Operation Zero will take shape...
~Syren continues to work on his odd letter. Berta shakes his head sadly and leaves without another word. As soon as he is gone, two other men enter the room. They stay in the darkness so that we cannot see their faces. Their voices are unfamiliar.~
Syren: Ah! Welcome, fellas. I'm glad to see you've both made the right decision.
Man 1: Yes. You may not be one of my kind, but nevertheless you are on the list. And you may yet become like me... there are ways.
Syren: Well, well, well... imagine my delight. You and the “others like you” should fit in well here... I travel to different dimensions to battle goblins, and there's a rumor going around that Pryde is an alien.
Man 2: The hell?
Syren: It's a long story. Was your man able to obtain the folders I requested?
Man 2: He's begun digging into it.
Syren: Perfect. Well, I know you gentlemen have other things to focus on right now. Don't let me hold you up. Welcome to the team, and good luck out there.
Man 1: All shall fall.
Syren: Fuck yeah they shall.
~Syren gets up and exchanges handshakes with his two mystery visitors before returning to his project. As Syren glues the final cut-out letter into place on his sheet, the camera angle switches behind him and we are able to see the paper. It reads as follows...~
AGeNt A--
FANs GroW TIReD of REPetiTion & preDICtaBILItY. WheN thEy REJeCt BRIaNNA v FAMiLy rouNd 236, iT IS Not US wHO wiLL HavE to ANSWeR foR IT.
ThE ESTAbLISHmenT shALL crUmBLe UnDER WeighT oF itS oWN CHARadE. ThE iLLUsION of ongOInG feuD beTWEEN “tOP FacTIONs” caN NOT BE SustAiNeD FOREvEr.
EVEntuALLY we WILL riSe to DeSERVeD posITION--oR eXPoSE tHe trUTH wHen we DO NoT.
ReCRUITiNG CONTinUEs. THErE aRE oTHERs, aS yOU Had gueSSeD.
ResPOND VIA psyChiC CHANnELs oR MOSt TRUstEd CarRiEr pIGEoN... OR I WilL sEe You iN LIKe 20 mINUteS.
~The shot of the weird letter fades out, and we go into the familiar Massacre intro sequence. The camera pans the hyped Bozeman, Montana crowd before finally settling on the announce table as “Comin in Hot” by Hollywood Undead fades out. We focus on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to another edition of Monday Night Massacre!
Hood: Scott Syren is mailing letters!
Smith: Or just handing them out…not sure he specified if that was going by mail or not
Hood: I really love when I get letters pasted together like that, it really screams “Hey, this is important, read or die”
Smith: I would find it quite creepy to be honest
Hood: Now that I know that…instead of texting, I will just make letters like that, take a picture of them and send it to you…like “hEy SmITH WheRE iS BoZEmaN aGaIN?”
Smith: Please don’t…but, hey, let’s focus on tonight’s show rather than creepy letters. Great matches tonight…the Central Title is on the line as undefeated Sean Fuller takes on Brianna Casablancas. We have a Rookie’s Night Out match where the winner gets a title shot at Scott Syren’s Internet title AND…Jimmy Buffet is in the house!
Hood: Sweet!
Smith: Yes, very sweet…we also have Kenshin Takamura looking to return to his winning ways as he takes on Bobbinette Carey…should be a great night…
Hood: Eh, we can do without that match…anyway we can just make it be a dark match and hang out with Buffet instead?
Smith: Don’t be ridiculous…but, hey, I’m being told we’ve got some footage going on backstage…let’s have a look!
~The live feed cuts backstage to tonight’s office of President Dean as a nice pop from the crowd ensues. Dean is on his cell phone pacing back and forth in his office as he chows down on a sandwich. He’s obviously excited about the upcoming arrival of Jimmy Buffet~
President Dean: …and then we’ll release the album at Total Demolition for our fans? Sucka that’s awesome! I can’t wait for everyone to hear the tunes! Thanks a million, sucka!
~Dean hangs up the phone and is pumped as he finishes his sandwich. There is a knock at his door and before he can answer the door slams open and in walks “The Incredible” Ian Bishop to an eruption of jeers. Dean’s attitude goes from thrilled to sour from the sight of Bishop. He swallows the rest of his sandwich~
President Dean: What do you want, man? Here to ruin my mood?
Ian Bishop: I was looking for you all last week and you had the audacity on air to say that the match between Brianna and I won’t happen without her consent? Really? You wouldn’t come find me face to face?
President Dean: Yes, sucka! She’s the champ and she can decide who she wants to fight.
~Bishop scoffs and places his hands on his hips and shakes his head in disgust~
President Dean: What?
Ian Bishop: What? SERIOUSLY?! You’re going to let a woman run rampant here and make all the decisions about the Central Championship for you? Do I need to spell it out to you, SUCKA? We’ve had two of the biggest matches since OCW has opened and you’re denying that, to your fans, because Brianna is perhaps nervous to face me for a third time? She cheated me the last time and I want my fair shot at the title and as the previous champ… I WANT MY FUCKING REMATCH!
President Dean: If you want your rematch you’ll have to go ask Brianna yourself! I’m not making that decision so get the hell out of my office!
~Obviously frustrated Bishop begins to leave the office but Dean calls back out to him~
President Dean: Wait… why the hell haven’t you been wrestling for two weeks?
~Bishop turns around and gives an expression as if Dean was the dumbest person on the planet~
Ian Bishop: Emotional pain and stress of course!
President Dean: Bull shit! Well, next week when Monday Night Massacre is in Pocatello, Idaho, you’ll be facing off against The Lost Soul… and because you’ve pissed me off it will also be a First Blood match! How about that for your emotional pain and stress, sucka?
~Bishop is now even more frustrated as the crowd cheers for the match. Bishop flips Dean’s refreshment table and food flies everywhere before Bishop curses out and leaves the office. Dean raises his hands in irritation from the mess as the feed cuts back to ringside~
Smith: Wow! Ian Bishop against The Lost Soul next week!
Hood: Talk about fucking Ian over…TLS has been quite underwhelming so far…so if he loses, it looks bad. However, we all know TLS is talented enough to beat anyone so…
Smith: Yea, well if Ian had a better attitude about things, he probably wouldn’t be treated with such disdain
Hood: I doubt that, Dean is just a dickhead
Smith: Speaking of the man who pays your checks…I’m being told we’ve got more going on in the back
~The feed cuts outside the Bozeman locker room which has been retro fitted into a wrestling locker room. Brianna Casablancas clad in her ring gear stops in front of it along with Alice Knight and MJ Bell ...the War Games Team that will take on the Family at Total Demolition. Brianna has a confident cock sure look on her face as both Alice and MJ Bell look a bit concerned~
MJ Bell: Are you sure this is your choice?
Brianna Casablancas: I am more than sure love. I am positive that this person is indeed the right choice.
Alice Knight: I think you can do no wrong Brianna but perhaps maybe you can do some wrong. Though this does remind me of Ghostbusters, so maybe you should go for it Egon.
Brianna Casablancas: I would thought that I would be Peter Venkman.
Alice Knight: Nah, MJ is clearly Peter Venkman and I am Ray because I have always hoped to get a blowie from a ghost. Besides you are the smart one.
Brianna Casablancas: Do not get me wrong I am flattered that you would put me in the Harold Ramis role but surely...
MJ Bell: Hey! Can we focus?
~They stop arguing over Ghostbusters and look at MJ Bell. Alice pretends to zip her mouth shut as MJ Bell attempts to reason with a perhaps over zealous Brianna Casablancas~
MJ Bell: All I'm saying is, we don't know much about your choice or know if we can fully trust them. It's possible that they will feed us to the family the second they enter into that cage. I mean, I stand by my suggestion earlier. I trust Kenshin as much as I do you two and I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to go against The Family.
~Brianna shakes her head positive on who she wants as her fourth member~
Brianna Casablancas: Nobody respects Takamura more than me but there is a certain make-up I am looking for on this team. We are dealing with some pretty big competition ...you are fast, I am crafty, Alice is scrappy and has amazing endurance to boot. We are going to need to add muscle to that equation to stand a chance against them as a group. This isn't you or myself against just one of them but them as a group. They have played the group dynamic well and we need to be able to contend with that by being as well-rounded as possible.
~MJ stops and shakes her head and then looks at Alice who seems to be a bit more convinced that this is a good idea. And MJ finally shrugs her shoulders, assuming that Brianna will not be able to get talked out of this idea~
MJ Bell: Alright, I trust your judgment. Let's do it.
Brianna Casablancas: SMASHING!
~Brianna opens the locker room door as the three of them pile into it as they camera follows them. It is fairly quiet and the only thing that can be heard is Alice humming the instrumental theme to Ghostbusters~
Alice Knight: Dum-dum -Duh. Doo doo doo dood doo do doo!
~They stop at an unknown figure with a blue hoodie covering their identity. This person has their back to the War Games trio. The unknown hooded figure lifts up there hand motioning them to stop~
Brianna Casablancas: Good evening dear. Odds are that you probably know exactly why we are here. I know that we probably have some major differences in our philosophies but I do not think that that doesn't mean that we cannot work together for at least the temporary.
~The figure doesn't say anything in response~
Brianna Casablancas: But before you make up your mind, do not see it as joining with "the enemy" but instead grasping a rare opportunity that does not come around often. Like most, you want to make a name for yourself here but you HAVE had a hard time with that, have you not? If you join my team, you will have that moment to make that name for yourself, love. It is your ticket into the Main Event of Total Demolition where people will have no choice but to take notice and actually see some Demolition in that cage. But not only that. The Family are proven to be a force of not just destruction but of absolute power for themselves. They are a thorn on everyone's side and who knows when they will decide to target to you. Now, I do not expect you to want to take down the Family for the greater good or anything like that. I expect you to do it because you can say "I did that." When people look back and wonder who stopped such a powerful force in their tracks you can say "It was me. I was a huge factor in that."
~She pauses for a moment as the figure sits on the bench listening to her pitch intently~
Brianna Casablancas: Besides, both you and I know that they will not be extending the same offer to you when you and I know the smart thing to was to immediately go to you; to immediately think of you for this match. It was rather foolish on their part was it not. But here I am, your proverbial Willy Wonka offering you a golden ticket. What do you say, love?
~The figure stands up but still has its back turned to the cameras. The robed figure then begins to walk past them ...but not before pushing Brianna right down on her butt. Brianna, still as positive as ever, calls back to the person walking away~
Brianna Casablancas: I take it that means that you will take a couple of winks on it.
~MJ and Alice help Brianna to her feet as she does not look phased by this apparent rejection. We focus on a graphic advertising War Games~
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Brianna seems to handle rejection pretty well
Hood: Well, when nobody likes you, it gets easier
Smith: I think you and Ian Bishop are the only two people alive who hate Brianna
Hood: Hates a strong word…she’s nice to look at but, outside of that, doesn’t offer much
Smith: I totally disagree…but, in other news, she is actively pursuing a fourth team member…who do you think that was?
Hood: Someone with a brain who knows this match is suicide for anyone teaming with Brianna
Smith: Brianna is extremely intelligent and seems to think that was anything but a no…so, maybe that mystery person is still in play
Hood: She’s in denial of being turned down…heh, and you say she handles rejection well, looks to me like she does not
Smith: Whatever! I’m switching gears before you make me angry…let’s go down to ringside for our Rookie’s Night Out match!
Jason Xavier (2-1) vs. Brian Cady (1-0) vs. PerZag (0-0) vs. Jayson Price (0-0) vs. B Minus (0-0) vs. Trent Collins (0-0) vs. “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (0-0) vs. James Carson (0-0) vs. KC3 (0-0) vs. “The Hardcore Enigma” Big J (0-0) vs.Kobra
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a special Rookies Night Out match where the winner will receive an Internet Title Shot at the April 21st edition of Monday Night Massacre!
~”Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit begins to play as fans stand and watch Kobra make his way down to the squared circle~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Oakland, California, standing 6’6 and weighing in at 280 lbs…Kobra!!!
~Kobra’s theme dies down. “Lights Out” by Hollywood Undead begins to play and Jason Xavier emerges from behind the curtain. The fans give a decent reaction to Jason Xavier as he makes his way down to the ringside area~
Belvedere: And his opponent, standing 5’11 and weighing in at 209 lbs…Jason Xavier!!!
~Xavier is inside the ring. Belvedere quickly exits and sounds the bell as this match is under way~
Smith: Big match here Hood…Internet Title shot on the line.
Hood: You mean that title Syren burned?
Smith: No, I’m talking about the title Kenshin Takamura built up
Hood: Yea, same fucking thing.
~Xavier and Kobra lock up…Xavier knees Kobra in the gut instantly to gain the advantage. Kobra doubles over, Xavier whips Kobra into the ropes, Kobra reverses…Xavier bounces off the ropes, Kobra goes for a lariat, Xavier ducks, runs into the ropes, hops onto the second rope leaps off and flies through the air with a cross body but Kobra catches Xavier! He hurls Xavier over his shoulder and drills him into the mat with a Powerslam~
Smith: Fast pace to start the match here…Kobra, a newcomer to OCW gains the early advantage and looks impressive.
Hood: I want to see a Cobra Clutch!
Smith: Big submission fan, eh?
Hood: I just want to say Kobra with the Cobra Clutch
Smith: Not sure why, but okay
~Kobra yanks Xavier to his feet and whips him towards the nearest corner, Xavier runs full speed and Kobra follows behind, Xavier stops short and grabs the top rope, he jumps in the air and over Kobra. Kobra runs into the corner, smashing his chest into the top turnbuckle. Xavier lands on his feet and throws a kick to the back of Kobra’s head. Kobra stumbles back into the corner as Xavier quickly rolls him up, Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: The quickness of Xavier nearly eliminated Kobra
Hood: I thought Kobra’s were supposed to be quick
Smith: Well, yea, the snakes…but that’s a human being named Kobra
Hood: With a K?
Smith: How could you tell?
Hood: Everything is more hardcore when you replace the C with a K
~”Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor begins to play and the fans stand and watch OCW newcomer, PerZag make his way to the ring. He rushes down as his music quickly ends. Xavier is stomping on Kobra, who is on all fours, as Zag enters into the ring, runs at Xavier and takes him down with a clothesline!! Xavier hits hard…Zag yanks Xavier back to his feet and hurls him over the top rope! Xavier lands hard. Kobra is on his feet and he reaches for PerZag…PerZag, though, shoves Kobra who surprisingly just falls to the mat with such ease despite the fact he’s much larger than PerZag and it was only a shove~
Smith: PerZag is on fire!
Hood: I guess neither Kobra nor Xavier are on his Worthy List
Smith: How legitimate do you think his Worthy list is?
Hood: In PerZag’s mind…extremely
~ Xavier hops onto the apron, having recovered from his fall. He quickly climbs to the top rope. Zag whips Kobra into the ropes…as he waits for Kobra to bounce off, Xavier leaps off the top rope and drills Zag with a missile drop kick!! Zag lands hard! Xavier gets to his feet, as he does, the running Kobra turns Xavier inside out with a Clothesline From Hell~
Smith: Jason Xavier was able to halt the offense of PerZag
Hood: And got drilled because of it.
Smith: Kobra definitely has the size advantage in there
Hood: Magnum force!
~”What It Takes to Be Me” by HellYeah as ‘The Hardcore Enigma’ Big J rushes down to the ring. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and begins to trade punches with Kobra. Big J gains the advantage and he whips Kobra into the ropes, Kobra bounces off and Big J drops him with a spinebuster! Big J turns around and walks right into a superkick from Xavier!! Big J stumbles into PerZag who drops him with a DDT! Big J is left motionless on the mat as PerZag and Xavier begin to brawl~
Smith: Big J came in ready to make a statement and, well
Hood: Dude got effed in the A!
Smith: He got served!
~Xavier jumps in the air and delivers a knee to PerZag’s head. Xavier runs into the ropes, he bounces off and flies through the air drilling PerZag with a flying forearm! Kobra is back on his feet and Xavier kicks him in the midsection. Xavier leaps up, going for a huricanrana, but Kobra holds on and drills Xavier into the mat with a powerbomb! Kobra then goes after Big J. He yanks Big J to his feet, scoops the giant ball of mass up and slams him to the mat! The ring shakes from impact as the fans applaud the impressive strength shown by Kobra~
Smith: Kobra is now in the lead to win this Rookie’s Night Out affair!
Hood: In the lead, this isn’t a fucking race, Smith
Smith: Well, you know what I mean
Hood: Obviously not you vague, stupid mother fucker
Smith: Harsh and completely uncalled for!
~”Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley hits and the fans watch James Carson rush into the ring. Kobra turns around and his immediately drilled with a forearm to the face…Kobra staggers back and Carson takes him down with a spear!! Big J is on his feet, staggering around, Carson lifts him up and drops him with an inverted body slam!!! Big J is out on the mat as Carson goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: Big J has been eliminated!
Hood: The Hardcore Enigma…only thing enigmatic about that guy is how he thought he could win this match looking like the blob.
Smith: Not all of us can be physical specimens, Hood
Hood: Well, fucking try, damnit!
~Carson gets up, holding his lower back in pain from the weight he just tossed down. Big J is kicked out of the ring by PerZag. Carson goes after PerZag, as he does, Xavier comes out of nowhere and knees Carson in the lower back! Carson falls to his knees and PerZag drills him with a shining wizard! Carson falls over. PerZag goes for the quick pin…Xavier moves to break it up, but realizes Carson being pinned would benefit him, so he stands back and observes~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Almost another elimination!
Hood: PerZag is fucking mean, man
Smith: I don’t see how trying to win a match is mean
Hood: Just something about him…like that Worthy List…fucking brutal man, PerZag pulls no punches!
~”Remember the Name” by Fort Minor hits and KC3 rushes to the ring. Xavier greets him as KC3 slides into the ring. The two begin to brawl with KC3 gaining the advantage..he whips Xavier into the ropes, Xavier bounces off and KC3 drills him with a dropkick! PerZag sneaks up behind KC3…however, KC3 can sense him coming up and he turns around with a roundhouse kick to PerZag’s head!! KC3 then goes after Carson, grabbing him by the head and dropping him with a Tornado DDT!! Kobra rushes in and drills KC3 in the back with a forearm smash! KC3 stumbles into the corner but quickly recovers, climbing the turnbuckles, leaping off, flipping through the air and drilled Kobra with a moonsault!! He holds on for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Whoa! KC3 looks great!
Hood: I guess he’s got all that pent up frustration from last week when Ian Bishop ruined his debut match…or
Smith: Or what?
Hood: He smokes crack
Smith: HE DOES NOT!
~KC3 quickly gets back to his feet and Kobra is on all fours, attempting to get to his. KC3 kicks Kobra in the gut and runs into the ropes…as he bounces off, PerZag comes from nowhere with a clothesline!! KC3 falls through the ropes from impact and lands outside hard. PerZag then catapults over the top rope and lands on top of KC3! Kobra, meanwhile, reaches his feet as Xavier flies from nowhere with a crossbody onto Kobra!! Xavier hops back to his feet and receives a punch to the face from Carson. Carson hooks Xavier, lifts him up and drops him with a Vertical Suplex~
Smith: Tons of action going on…PerZag managed to squelch the fire that KC3 brought to the ring.
Hood: Is KC3 a pyromaniac?
Smith: Not that I’m aware of
Hood: Good, because there’s only room in OCW history for one of those
~”Special Op” begins to play as B Minus rushes down to the ring. Carson throws a punch at B as soon as he gets into the ring, but B blocks it and lifts Carson up, dropping him with a spinebuster. Xavier is on his feet, staggering around and Minus drills him with a big boot, sending him to the outside. Kobra sneaks up behind B and hooks him for a German Suplex…B blocks it, turns around and tosses Kobra to the mat with a Belly to Belly Suplex~
Smith: Tremendous strength on display via B Minus
Hood: That name…I…I just can’t
Smith: Can’t what?
Hood: Make fun of it…low hanging fruit and all, just too easy
Smith: Thank goodness
~B yanks Kobra up and he hurls him over the top rope to the outside! He then tosses Carson to the outside, effectively clearing the ring. KC3 has slid into the ring behind B…B doesn’t sense him there and KC3 drills B in the back of the head with a superkick!! B falls to the mat as KC3 rolls him over and applies a Figure Four leglock! B squirms around in pain~
Smith: Figure four godlock!
Hood: Oh sweet and he turned the shin guard he wears AROUND to apply more pressure, I like this guy’s style.
Smith: More so than B Minus?
Hood: Fuck yea, B Minus obviously has a low self image…I’d strut in there as A fucking Plus
Smith: I’m sure you would
~B Minus can’t take the pressure any longer as he begins to tap. Scruff acknowledges the submission and rolls B Minus out of the ring after KC3 reluctantly releases the hold~
Smith: And there goes B Minus
Hood: With an F plus effort
Smith: An F?
Hood: Hey, I gave him an F plus
~Carson re-enters into the ring and attacks KC3 before he can get to his feet. He picks KC3 up and bodyslams him to the mat. Carson then drops a couple of well placed elbows on top of KC3, effectively isolating him in the middle of the ring. “Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits and ‘The Confederate Icon’ Chad Vargas rushes to the ring. He instantly goes after Carson, drilling him with several stiff punches to the head. Carson stumbles into the ropes as Vargas goes to whip him across the ring, but, instead, knees him into the gut. Carson falls to the mat, holding his abdomen in pain. KC3 is on his feet, Vargas turns around and drops him with an Evenflow DDT~
Smith: Snakeskin DDT…a Chad Vargas trademark!
Hood: I’m not going to get too excited…B Minus cleared the ring too, ya know
Smith: Yea, but something tells me Vargas is a bit more poised and prepared.
Hood: That’s not saying much
~Kobra slides into the ring without Vargas noticing. He turns Vargas around and nearly lifts him off his feet with a forearm uppercut! Kobra picks Vargas up and drops him in the center of the ring with an aggressive running spinebuster~
Smith: Kobra calls that Whiplash
Hood: I’d say it’s accurately named
Smith: Indeed!
~”Explosia” by Gojira hits and Jayson Price makes his OCW debut. Kobra waits for him to enter into the ring. Price does and both men stare face to face…both men are huge and of similar stature. They start to brawl, Kobra is showing tremendous toughness and endurance, hanging with the fresh Price during this exchange. Price thumbs Kobra in the eye, having grown frustrated without gaining a fair advantage. Price backs into the ropes and comes off with a big boot, but Kobra ducks and, grabs Price’s head and drops him with a reverse DDT~
Smith: Disappointing debut so far for Jayson Price
Hood: He’s still got time to turn it around…once again, I point to B Minus…maybe playing it slow is the way to go.
Smith: I guess we will find out shortly.
~Vargas slips back into the ring and turns Kobra around…he drops him with an Evenflow DDT!! Kobra hits hard. Vargas then yanks Price to his feet and slams him into the mat with a Forward Russian Legsweep!! Price’s body goes limp as Vargas makes the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~Price is rolled out of the ring as Vargas goes after Kobra, who is still on the mat, nailing him with lefts and rights~
Hood: Nevermind
Smith: Yes, the playing it slow method led to a premature departure.
Hood: That was a pretty sweet move by Vargas though
Smith: Indeed!
~”The Leaving Song – Part 2” by AFI hits as Brian Cady rushes down to the ring. He instantly attack Vargas, yanking him to his feet by his hair and drilling him with lefts and rights. Kobra reaches his feet and grabs Cady by the back of the head. Cady turns around and kicks Kobra in the gut and, in seamless fashion, drops Kobra with a DDT. Cady kicks up to his feet and turns around, Vargas throws a spinning wheel kick but Cady catches Vargas and tosses him over his head with a capture suplex~
Smith: Brian Cady is on fire!
Hood: Who isn’t on fire according to you? What are you, trying to fund the fire department…hey, guys, this guy’s on fire…that guy is on fire…shit is on fire!
Smith: It’s a figure of speech
Hood: As is fuck off
Smith: Can’t argue that, unfortunately
~”Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevelfold hits and Trent Collins rushes down to the ring. He yanks Vargas to his feet and kicks him into the ropes. Vargas stands against the ropes, dazed…Collins rushes in and clotheslines Vargas over the top rope and to the outside~
Smith: Trent Collins looks ready to roll
Hood: Why roll and not rock?
Smith: I don’t know, roll just came to my find first
Hood: Passive mother fucker
~Collins sees Cady and rushes at him, going for a spear…Cady catches him, though, and hooks him…Cady lifts Collins up for a Vertical Suplex and drops him with a DDT!! Collins body goes limp as Cady goes for the pin, Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: Trent Collins is eliminated!
Hood: Shit be getting real!
Smith: Oh yea
~Carson enters into the ring and goes after Cady before he can return to his feet after pinning Collins. Carson lifts Cady up, kicks him in the gut, hooks him around the waist and drops him with a Piledriver in the center of the ring. PerZag suddenly slides into the ring behind Carson…he twirls Carson around and drops him with a DDT~
Smith: Here comes PerZag!
Hood: Carson really needs to mind his surroundings!
Smith: Did you watch Batman Begins on FX the other day?
Hood: You damn right
~PerZag yanks Carson back to his feet, hooks him for a suplex, lifts him up in the air and drops him with a Perfect Plex! He hangs on for the pin as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: There goes James Carson
Hood: He did okay
Smith: Sure
~PerZag goes after Cady…he pulls Cady to his feet…Xavier is suddenly perched on the top rope and he leaps off from the top rope nailing both Cady and PerZag with a kick simultaneously. PerZag lands hard as Cady’s body flies through the ropes and to the floor. KC3 enters into the ring and kicks Xavier in the head as he’s returning to his feet. He gets Xavier in a muay thai clench and begins to smash his face with several knees to the face, backing Xavier into the nearest corner~
Smith: A little MMA shout out there by Davison
Hood: This guy has quite the skill set…I could see him winning this
Smith: Is that your new prediction?
Hood: You bet your ass
~KC3 whips Xavier across the ring into the opposite corner. KC3 runs behind him…Xavier stops before smashing into the corner and drills KC3 in the face with a superkick! KC3 staggers back…Xavier rushes and knees KC3 in the midsection. He then hooks him and drops him with a Canadian Destroyer! Xavier goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
Smith: The Hood Curse continues
Hood: Fuck me blind!
Smith: Seriously?
Hood: Fuck you, weirdo, I wasn’t offering
Smith: Yea, going blind would be bad for your career
Hood: I was more or less talking about the gay aspect of you fucking me blind. But, yea, going blind would suck too
~Xavier gets back to his feet and is met with a kick from PerZag…PerZag drops Xavier with a DDT and he goes for a quick pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close one there!
Hood: Man, PerZag…this guy is tough
Smith: Don’t forget Xavier…he, in my opinion, has stolen the show during this match
~Vargas quickly enters and goes right after PerZag…he kicks PerZag in the gut and tosses him, shoulder first, into the corner. PerZag hits the ring post. Vargas yanks Xavier to his feet and drops him with the Snakeskin DDT! Vargas yanks PerZag out of the corner and goes to drop him with the Snakeskin DDT…PerZag, however, blocks it, knees Vargas in the gut and drops him with another Perfect Plex! He holds on and Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: PerZag with another elimination!
Hood: This time he disposes of The Confederate Icon…I was just about to pick him too
Smith: So your cursing powers are so strong, you don’t even have to speak the person’s name…they still lose via thought?
Hood: I’m a powerful man…like Oz
Smith: I can see some similarities in regards to your delusional self image
~Cady returns into the ring and sees an opportunity to attack PerZag. He punches PerZag in the face several times before whipping him into the nearest corner, PerZag hits hard. Cady charges in and drills PerZag with a stinger splash! He whips PerZag across the ring again…PerZag slams into the opposite corner. Cady charges in for another splash…however, Sean Fuller suddenly rushes into the ring from out of nowhere! He grabs Cady and drops him with Down the Alley!! Kobra witnesses what has gone down. Fuller looks down at Cady for a few brief moments before exiting. Kobra doesn’t ask any questions…he slides into the ring and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: Brian Cady has been eliminated…all because of Sean Fuller!!
Hood: Yea, well, he shouldn’t have fucked with Fuller last week
Smith: He was joking around backstage and Fuller got paranoid and attacked him for no reason!
Hood: That’s what he gets for laughing like a Douche bag…he loses, lost…done, adios…no title shot for you, Cady
Smith: There will be hell to pay, I’m sure…Cady is no push over. But…now, here we are, the favorite in many people’s eyes is gone…
Hood: I’m going with PerZag!
~Kobra gets to his feet as Cady exits the ring…Xavier jumps off the top and wraps his legs around Kobra’s head, sending him flying with a Huricanrana!! PerZag goes after Xavier and receives a roundhouse kick to the abdomen for his effort. Xavier then hooks PerZag and drops him with another Canadian Destroyer! PerZag goes limp as Xavier makes the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
Smith: Stop picking people, Hood…just stop
Hood: Fucking hell…
~Xavier quickly gets to his feet and goes after Kobra…Kobra is already on his feet…Xavier runs and drills Kobra in the head with a flying knee! Kobra falls into the corner, Xavier climbs to the middle rope and slams fist after fist into the head of Kobra. He hops off, Kobra staggers towards him and Xavier jumps up, placing his knees into Kobra’s face and dropping him with a Codebreaker~
Smith: Jason Xavier is on a roll…he is moments away from earning a match against Scott Syren
Hood: The guy can go, that’s for sure
Smith: Are you picking him?
Hood: I’m not saying
Smith: Are you think-picking him?
Hood: My mind is clear…aside from a random image of naked women that jump in there from time to time
~Xavier pulls Kobra to his feet and kicks him in the gut, looking for the Canadian Destroyer…PerZag, though, comes up from behind and kicks Xavier in the kidney. Xavier releases Kobra and is turned around by PerZag who hoists him up on his shoulders with a Torture Rack!! Xavier grimaces in pain as PerZag wrenches him in half before dropping him to the mat with a Death Valley Driver. Kobra gets to his feet and looks at PerZag…PerZag nods to Kobra before exiting~
Smith: Is PerZag helping Kobra?
Hood: Nah, man…he just really hates Xavier and his high flying cocaine fueled style
Smith: Okay…if you say so
~Kobra yanks Xavier to his feet and is looking to drop him with No Cure…Xavier, though, grabs onto the ropes and pulls himself off of Kobra’s shoulders and perches himself on the top rope. He leaps off and Kobra punches Xavier in the face!! Xavier falls back into a corner and stumbles out, Kobra lifts him up and drops him with No Cure!! Kobra goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings and Scruff hoists Kobra’s arm up~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the #1 Contender to the Internet Title…KOBRA!!!!!
Smith: Kobra did it…he and Xavier went the entire way and emerged as the last two contenders standing.
Hood: Fucking impressive…Xavier has been around for awhile and I’ve been waiting to see him do something memorable…this may be the turning point for him.
Smith: Indeed
~Kobra is in the ring, celebrating his win…feeling good about himself. Xavier is on the outside, frustrated and disappointed he lost it at the last split second. He grabs a chair and slides back into the ring with Kobra’s back to him~
Smith: Wait a minute…
Hood: If you have hate in your heart, Xavier…let it the fuck out!
~Xavier drills Kobra in the back with the chair! Kobra turns around, holding his back in pain. Xavier nails him in the head and Kobra falls to the mat. Xavier places the chair down, lifts Kobra up and drops him with a Canadian Destroyer on the chair!! Kobra is laid out as Xavier hops out of the ring and heads to the back, looking as though his little steel chair therapy session did some good~
Smith: Terrible sportsmanship which ruined a great match, in my opinion
Hood: Tonight is the night Jason Xavier won me over…and fuck your opinion, idiot
Smith: Whatever!
~We cut backstage as the crowd starts to cheer when the camera pans up and MJ bell is seen. She is wearing black and white pants with a red tube top and currently tying up her boots. As she pulls on her opened sided white shirt there is a knock at the door. MJ walks over and opens it revealing Ian Bishop. The crowd bursts into a series of mixed reactions. The red head takes a step back~
MJ Bell: “What do you want, Ian?”
~Bishop walks in and closes the door behind, the click echoing in the room. He slowly walks over to MJ who backs up a bit more. Bishop chuckles as he rubs his palms together before speaking~
Ian Bishop: Oh, you know... just wanted to see how you were doing. I figured you'd want some advice on Payne... I tagged with him and whooped his ass... I am the local expert.
~MJ huffs some air out her nose as a soft laugh leaves her lips. She picks something invisible off her shirt before speaking~
MJ Bell: How I am doing... Right. Well, I'm just peachy and I don't need any advice on him. What do you really want, Ian? We both know you didn't come in here to make small talk with me.
~Bishop laughs now and has a huge smile on his face which causes some confusion from MJ. His face goes from cheerful to a sadistic stare as he advances towards MJ~
Ian Bishop: I guess you're right... I didn't come here to make small talk. I know you could kick the shit out of Payne though. He's some worthless has been who needs to just be fired already. I came to talk to you about something that's been on my mind and that I need to come clean with... but I need you to come clean first.
~Bishop stops advancing towards MJ as she is now back first against the wall and Bishop is a foot away from her. Slowly, the shock and confusion from her face disappears. Her stance changes as well because now MJ leans up against the wall with arms crossed. When she speaks she has a sarcastic tone~
MJ Bell: I'm glad to hear you have so much faith in my abilities in the ring. Really, I'm super touched but what exactly am I coming clean about?
Ian Bishop: You know exactly what you need to come clean about... but if I had to tell you I will. MJ, you need to tell me the truth about yourself and Kenshin.
~MJ rolls her eyes~
MJ Bell: I don't know why I have to keep repeating myself to everyone. There is nothing going on with Kenshin and myself. You want me to come clean but I can't. I trust him and we hang out, we are close. He is my best friend, Ian, not my lover.
~Ian scoffs at her false words as he puts an arm over her shoulder so its pressed against the wall and his about five inches away from her face. His face begins to go red with anger~
Ian Bishop: Don't! Don't stand there with your relaxed posture and fucking lie to my face MJ! I speak the truth MJ and you can't tell me the late night hang outs in hotel rooms and the play fighting in pools and driving in cars doesn't end with you two fucking your brains out! I see the way he looks at you and you're honestly going to tell me there isn't anything going on?
MJ Bell: I've never had sex with Kenshin! I haven't even kissed him! There is nothing between us! How dare you! The only one who has lied between the two of us is YOU! Don't come at me and call me a liar when I am telling you the truth! You have no fucking right! Kenshin is JUST my friend but what does it matter to you anyways?! Why does it matter so much if I screw Kenshin? If I fuck him in my free time, Huh?
~MJ's hands shove against Ian's chest angrily but he doesn't budge an inch. Bishop grabs her wrist as the crowd begins to stir at what will happen next. While he has her wrist held he takes his other hand and begins to play with MJ's hair as he speaks with a soft tone~
Ian Bishop: Why does it matter... MJ? It matters cause... well, don't you get it yet? I'm obsessed with you. From the moment you congratulated me on being a champion when no one else did. This obsession though, I don't know if it's healthy... or unhealthy.
~MJ reaches up with her other hand to remove his hand from her hair and Ian snaps his hand back before MJ can touch it . She shakes her head, her voice is lower now. The crowd is on the edge of their seats~
MJ Bell: I... I... I don't know what to say. You can't honestly think that I have the answer to.... That. I don't. Only you know if that obsession is healthy or not.
Ian Bishop: But you can answer it for me! Remember when you did congratulate me? You told me you weren't available. You were going to kiss me MJ... you just need to tell me what I need to hear and everything will be alright.
~MJ face contorts into concern before she looks away from him while her hand releases his~
MJ Bell: Ian... I can't tell you what you want to hear. I can't tell you that I want you or that I want to be with you. Look, I don't want a relationship right now, I can't handle one and I hardly know you. The only thing I'm here to do is wrestle...
~Bishop sighs heavily as he turns around and heads for the door. He stops for a moment to digest everything he's heard and an MJ chant begins to erupt from the crowd. Bishop immediately goes back to MJ and grabs a fistful of hair from her head and drags her head towards his as the crowd boos and chants asshole. Bishop laughs for a moment as MJ tries to break his hold but she can't~
Ian Bishop: I get it MJ. You haven't realized you love me yet. It's fine... you'll learn eventually that it is me that you care for and not that fucking Japanese dick. Even if you can't realize you love him either. Make no mistake about it I will make sure you are with the right man... me. You will love me MJ. You'll treat me the way I man should be treated by a woman. And do you know why?
~Bishop throws MJ to the ground by her hair as she slams hard on the floor~
Ian Bishop: ...Cause I'm that damn incredible... Good luck against Payne.
~Bishop leaves the room quickly and slams the door loudly behind him as MJ sits up rubbing the back of her head, she winces but glares at the door~
MJ Bell: Crazy fucking asshole...
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: The MJ and Ian issues continue
Hood: Well, ya know, when you’re not wrestling you have to find something to occupy your time
Smith: True, idle hands and all
Hood: Yep, maybe his match with TLS will get his mind off of MJ and back where it fucking belongs
Smith: Perhaps…well, folks…War Games are coming to OCW during Total Demolition…we have an exclusive video package previewing the April Pay Per View Extravanganza…let’s have a look!
~The video ends and we cut to the back where Mario Maurako is spotted in the parking lot talking on the phone~
Mario Maurako: Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control. Yea, tonight we finish what we started last week and make a statement…don’t worry, she’s gonna get hers, rest assured.
~Mario nods, it’s obvious he’s talking to someone he feels indebted to or has a tremendous amount of respond towards. We see a car turn into the parking lot, Mario does not notice it as he places the finishing touches on his conversation~
Mario Maurako: You heard what? Nah, I’m fine…I’ve had a lot of enemies throughout my life and I’m still here. You don’t have to worry about that…
~Mario is suddenly cut off when he’s nailed in the back of the head with tire iron!! Mario falls to the ground, dropping the phone. Two men in suits quickly grab him and toss him into the trunk. A third man picks up the phone and listens in…he can’t hear anything as the person on the other end has hung up. The third man tosses Mario’s phone and the ground and crushes it with his foot. The trunk is slammed shut, the three men hop into the car and they speed off. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Oh my gosh, Hood…what was that?
Hood: You think Mario is looking for a new car and those salesmen are taking him on a test drive?
Smith: That might be the least likely scenario…who do you think he was talking to?
Hood: I don’t know, but it felt super duper secret
Smith: The person on the other end of that phone obviously hung up before their identity could be discovered
Hood: Oh most definitely
Smith: I don’t know where this is headed, but it appears as though Mario won’t be around for tonight’s initiation
Hood: Yea, I don’t know how you can initiate people into the family with the head of the family missing but, well, Ian always seems to find a way.
Smith: That he does…well, folks it’s time for our next match as MJ Bell takes on Damian Payne
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall…
~”It’s Goin Down” by The X-Ecutioners hits and the fans boo when they see Damian Payne make his way to the ringside area~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Denver, Colorado…standing 6’9 and weighing in at 295lbs…”Sadistic Insanity” Damian Payne!!!
~'Soul Wars' by Awolnation begins as MJ Bell walks out rather excited. The jumbo tron screen is flashing different red tinted lights. As she makes her way down towards the ring she interacts with the crowd, giving high-fives. She makes her way up onto the apron before stepping through the ropes into the ring. When the song hits the word "AMEN" pyros explode from the stage. Afterwards she hops onto the corner of the turnbuckle with her arms raising in the air~
Belvedere: And, his opponent...from Paradise, Michigan…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 113 lbs…MJ Bell!!!
~Belvedere exits and rings the bell. MJ Bell launches herself out of her corner and gets Damian Payne off his feet and hammers him with lefts and rights. But he easily pushes her off due to the size advantage he has. He has back up but she pushes him back with a dropkick ...that unfortunately does not take him off his feet. She slingshots off the ropes and hits him with a hurricanrana. She follows up with a standing moonsault that winds Damian Payne~
Smith: MJ Bell starting this one on complete fire as not only is the fan favorite but also is apart of that big War Games match at Total Demolition. She has a lot to prove in this match.
Hood: And Damian Payne doesn't? He probably needs this win more than MJ Bell does and to him somebody her size is easy picking.
Smith: And that could prove to be a huge mistake.
MJ Bell is off the ropes again but Damian is back on his feet quickly and nails her with a big boot that makes her flip backwards in the air for a moment before hitting the mat hard.
Hood: I told you!
Smith: WOW! The power of that big boot seems to have completely killed any momentum MJ started out with!
Hood: Never underestimate a big man like Payne.
~He pulls her back up and nails her with a full nelson faceslam ...she stirs but Payne waits for her to get back to her feet and nails her with a brutal shoulder block that sends her back to the mat. He pulls her up and whips her into the corner turnbuckle and then nails her with a running elbow to the head. She is still leaned on the turnbuckle as he nails her with a chop to the throat. Payne pulls her back up and impales her onto the mat with a sidewalk slam~
Smith: Payne is now just being relentless as he knows he needs to keep MJ Bell grounded here.
Hood: This is a man who desperately needs a win here that in itself is motivation enough for him to just destroy MJ Bell right here.
~He does not even let her stir, he NEEDS this victory and the only way to do it is by breaking her in half. He picks her up and hits her with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker that gives her a moment of sheer pain. Damian Payne has her back up again and brings her back down again with a spinebuster~
Smith: Bell needs to find a way to come back if she does not want this to be a short match.
Hood: I don't think there is a really good chance she COULD come back from so many power moves there.
~Payne grabs her and puts her in power bomb position ...but before he can deliver it, she starts hammering him with punches and suddenly reverses it into a DDT that plants him into the ground. MJ quickly makes her way to the turnbuckle and as Payne recovers she launches off the turnbuckle and pegs him in the head which makes him fall on his butt. Once she is back on her feet she immediately nails him with an amazing shining wizard~
Smith: And with one trip up, MJ Bell has put this match back in her favor. You just can't put her in a position like that where it is easy to reverse.
Hood: But how long can she seriously keep it up against a big man like this? It isn't like she has a whole lot of wins over bigger men. In fact, if you look at her career thus far she only has one good performance in the Resurrection Battle Royal.
Smith: That is a bunch of hog wash and you know it.
~MJ kips up which gets an amazing reaction from the crowd. She quickly hooks the leg~
...1
...2
~...MJ breaks up the pin as she is distracted by something~
Smith: She had that one but Sean Fuller and Roach decide to make their presence known by coming out of the crowd and it looks like they were going to try to give her a DQ win but she moved out of the way before that could happen.
Hood: Maybe Payne is the newest member of the Family?
Smith: I seriously doubt that.
~MJ breaks the pin as Sean Fuller slides into the ring and she delivers an amazing Hurricanrana to him which sends him flying to the corner. She then eyes Roach on the apron and she nails him with a dropkick that sends him flying to the outside~
Smith: MJ Bell showing off how good her instincts are as she just prevented an interference from two men she will be facing in the War Games match with Team Brianna.
Hood: They would not be out here if it wasn't for a good reason. I think they were here to show her support and how does she repay them?
~After MJ gets rid of the problem, she doesn't notice Damian Payne get back up to his feet. She turns around and nails her with a big boot ...BUT he doesn't as she ducks it at the last second. She is off the ropes with a cross body that sends him to the mat momentarily. But he is quickly back up as is she with a spinning wheel kick. Before he can get back up, she hits him with another standing moonsault and quicker than a hiccup heads to the top turnbuckle~
Smith: MJ Bell who is just ON her game tonight is not letting anything get in her way as she looks to end this.
Hood: I wouldn't say that. Look at Fuller.
~As she awaits Damian Payne to get back up Sean Fuller is back on the apron and is going to try to pull him off ...but before he can, she kicks him in the head and falls to the concrete floor~
Hood: How is she pulling this off?
Smith: I think she just knows to expect foul play these days. But can she capitilize after all of those attempts to throw her off?
Hood: No, she can't.
~Once Damian is back on his feet MJ is off the turnbuckle with a flying neckbreaker to him which takes him out~
Smith: And she calls that Taste the Smoke. This one is done.
Hood: Is that a drug reference?
Smith: I would not know.
~MJ hooks the leg as Scruff makes the count~
...1
...2
...3
Belvedere: Here is your Winner... MJ BELL!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win by MJ Bell! She has bounced back from her loss at Black Out 2 in a big way.
Hood: Yea, Damian Payne’s losing streak continues…
Smith: A career which looked so promising at one point is now falling apart
Hood: Maybe he should kick someone’s ass backstage…that seems to help sometimes
Smith: Indeed
~Sean Fuller and Roach are immediately in the ring and begin stomping on MJ Bell as Damian Payne lay on the mat. The two whip her into the ropes and take turns taking chops on her~
Smith: And, of course, two members of The Family are here to do the usual two on one beat down to gain the upper hand.
Hood: It is funny that here she is getting beat up on, but we still haven't seen her team mates yet.
~The feed cuts back to behind the curtain as Brianna and Alice rush to Gorilla position with steel chairs in hand. But before they can rush out there, the figure that they were trying to court earlier appears in front of them wearing a hooded boxing robe. The figure puts their hand up to stop them from going out there to help their friend which they do. And right as they do, the hooded figure makes their way towards the curtain and to ringside~
Smith: Who was that and why did they stop Alice and Brianna from saving their team mate?
Hood: And why did they listen? That is their team mate. They are going to make a horrible team.
~As Roach and Sean Fuller continue their assault on MJ ...the blue hooded figure comes out from behind the curtain to a few cheers. Now in full view, it is obvious that there is a woman underneath said hood. She pulls off the hood to reveal the focused and intense face of Mia Stone. She takes off the boxing robe and slides into the ring~
Smith: Its Mia Stone. That mystery person is Mia Stone ...but is she here to help or hurt MJ Bell.
Hood: Obviously she is here to hurt her and help the Family. Why would she join a foo -foo slumber party like Brianna's team when she can help the already dominant force.
~Mia slides into the ring and somehow manages to knock Roach backwards with a hard right. Sean Fuller attacks but she spins around and nails him with a clothesline. With an incredible feet of strength she manages to get Roach off the ground as she nails him with a Hammerlock suplex. Sean Fuller attack again but she knocks him back with an elbow to the face. She then puts him in that brutal elevated Double Chicken Wing Facebuster and nails him onto the mat. She then tosses him over the top rope. Roach is back up but she clotheslines him out of the ring~
Smith: Does this mean what I think it means? Is Mia Stone a member of team Brianna?
Hood: I didn't think she had horrid taste but I guess she does. Why would she make a decision like this?
~Damian Payne comes into the ring and Mia clotheslines him over the top rope for good measure~
Smith: Wrong place and wrong time for Damian Payne.
Hood: But what a show of strength on the part of Mia Stone she cleared the ring of at least three people in a matter of seconds. She should be her own War Games team.
Smith: After seeing that I might have to agree.
~MJ Bell is on the mat but struggling to come to. Mia walks up to her and looks down at her for quite a few seconds. Instead of offering her help or offering her a hand, Mia just shrugs her off and walks past her. Instead she asks for the microphone~
Smith: Maybe she isn't on team Brianna. She certainly didn't feel like even offering assistance to help MJ Bell get back on her feet.
Hood: She has something to say, I think she is going to announce that she is her own team in War Games.
Smith: I don't think that is allowed.
Hood: It should be, did you see her clear that ring? And she didn't need a steel chair either.
~Mia looks towards the curtain~
Mia Stone: Casablancas get out here ...NOW!
~With no music or fanfare, Brianna comes out from behind the curtain with Alice in tow. They meet half way with MJ Bell who slid out of the ring and joins her colleagues as they stare down with Mia Stone~
Mia Stone: I think I just proved you right but you do not just WANT me on your team; you NEED me on your team. I do not see any of you other girlie girls clearing out the ring like I did single handily. Why, don't you get in the ring, so we can talk business.
~Brianna agrees as she slides into the ring with her Centrral title around her waist. Mia has a microphone in hand as Brianna smiles at the taller, more serious woman~
Mia Stone: You were right about something else, too. This is indeed an opportunity for me. A prime opportunity in more ways than you can possibly understand at this point. And seeing that you were right, I agree to be on you team at War Games...
~Mia extends her hand and Brianna immediately shakes it but when she tries to let go, Mia holds onto her hand tighter. Brianna has a slight look of pain on her face as Mia tightens the grip and speaks into the mic~
Mia Stone: IF you give me a shot at YOUR Central title next week. What do you think?
~Brianna speaks into the microphone while in a tad bit of pain due to Mia not letting go of her hand. But she still has a smile on her face~
Brianna Casablancas: Do not be daft, dear. If I give you a title shot what is to say that you do not fill your commitment and back out leaving us high and dry?
~Mia stares at her~
Mia Stone: Its your choice. You have seen what I can do. After all, you are a fighting champion are you not?
Brianna Casablancas: I am but I am not a bloody fool either. You fight with us at War Games on OUR side. No double crosses and one hundred percent effort in that match and if we win, I will gladly give you a shot at the Central title. What do you say?
~Mia stares at her with Brianna's hand still in her grasp. Brianna once again smiles at her~
Brianna Casablancas: There is no other way that you will get guaranteed title shot, love. This is your best bet to shoot beyond others here. I am making you a good deal ...I am making you a fair deal.
~Mia smirks as she speaks into the mic~
Mia Stone: Then I'm in.
Brianna Casablancas: Smashing
~Mia Stone takes Brianna's clenched hand and, as she drops the mic and holds up Brianna's arm as a sign of solidarity. She then drops her arm as Brianna holds onto her hand. MJ and Alice join Brianna in the ring and looking at the newest member of their team as she does a stern pose on the turnbuckle~
Smith: Well, that was definitely a revelation. Mia Stone IS on team Brianna but if they win, Brianna has to give her a shot at her title.
Hood: That is IF, Brianna is champion by that point. And there is no guarantee on that.
~We quickly cut backstage to find Dean heading down the hallway, leaving a desolate area in the back having just got off the phone. He runs into Bobbinette Carey, who is dressed for her match. Dean seems surprised and slightly unprepared for this encounter~
Dean: Bobbinette...hey...didn't see you there, sucka...were you eavesdropping on my phone conversation?
Bobbinette: One if you're in a public place it is HARDLY eavesdropping, and no I actually don't care about your phone calls to your sex lines, you know porn is cheaper right?
~She smirks then clears her throat.~
Bobbinette: But alas I was looking for you... TO tell you that people that play mind games should at least be somewhat smarter about how they do it.
~Dean pauses, realizing where Carey is heading. He decides to play dumb~
Dean: Look, Gavin is gone, so there's no need in rehashing the mind games he played with you
~She crosses her arms in front of her tightly.~
Bobbinette: Gavin didn't Hire KC3 though did he Dean? The kid clearly is up to something and I KNOW you had something to do with it. You expect me to believe you're just dumb enough to "Let" things happen around here without your knowledge?
~She scoffs.~
Bobbinette: You got mad because I called you on your crap I see through your Doe eyed act and how corrupt you really are. You're one of the greediest men I have ever worked for and manipulative too.
~She says shaking her finger at him.~
Bobbinette: If you cared about the company you would care about your fans... Instead you care about the wallets and what cash can do for you. I was happy to help and make this place everything it can be. Now you've got me to worry about, you can't fire me. I know that, it would pull your TV sponsorships.
~She say in a matter of fact tone.~
Bobbinette: And knowing that means I can take my time and expose you for what and who you are... Just keep that in mind.
~She pats him on the shoulder as she starts to walk away with a smile turning back flipping her hair over her shoulder almost daring him to challenge what she said.~
Dean: Pain in my ass...
~Dean says this under his breath, not wishing to anger Carey and take things any further. He turns and heads towards his office, which is a short walk away. He enters into his office and leans back in his chair, tired and frustrated from the long day. Suddenly, there is a rather polite knock on the door. He looks up towards the door~
President Dean: Come in Brianna.
~And sure enough, Brianna Casablancas enters the office with her Central title around her waist. She gives him a warm smile~
Brianna Casablancas: Good evening Dean.
President Dean: Good evening yourself dawg. What can I do for you tonight?
~Brianna looks at him with a bit of concen~
Brianna Casablancas: It is about my title defense tour. Next week, is the only week where I do not have a title defense as it would be Ian's week. And it didn't feel right o intelligent to give it to Mia. As I said, I would have loved to defend against Ian but the terms we agreed to and what he requested is that Blackout 2 be the last match ...of course I think that was because he was betting on himself a bit too much there. But now that he doesn't have the title, now that he lost twice in a row ...it suddenly isn't over between us? I am not going to reward being a sore with a title shot. And I am certainly not going to reward sexual harassment on one of my team mates with a shot either. But I am left without an opponent for next week.
~President Dean gives her a stern expression~
President Dean: And you are not going to have one either.
Brianna Casablancas: Come again.
President Dean: Fistly, we don't know if you will be able to defend against Sean Fuller tonight and secondly, this will be your third title match in a row. You need a break.
~She looks down at her title and then at Dean~
Brianna Casablancas: Clearly, you don't under...
President Dean: No, I understand and no one appreciates what you are trying to do for the title more than me. But after next week, you have a defense against Mario and THEN you are leading a War Game's team against The Family. I am giving you a week off from in ring competition.
~She doesn't seem too happy but understands to an extent. But he continues~
President Dean: But that doesn't mean that you will not be busy because there is a major factor that needs to be decided at War Games and that is who will have the man advantage going into the match.
Brianna Casablancas: Ah yes, what team gets to have a person go on first thus putting the other team in a handi-cap situation.
President Dean: Exactly. Here is what I am thinking: a basic tag team match. You choose two from your team to represent your team and Mario chooses two. Those two teams will face off and the winner's team gets that advantage.
~Brianna nods her head in approval over this idea~
Brianna Casablancas: That is a smashing idea. I know MJ Bell likes competition and after her performance the last few weeks, I have nothing but trust in her. And while, Alice is a good hand and my best mate, I think Mia Stone needs to get warmed up to the idea of working as a team. I choose those two for next week.
~Dean looks impressed with this pairing~
President Dean: Consider it done. But now you have a title defense to get ready for.
Brianna Casablancas: Indeed I do.
~She says before she leaves his office and off to prepare for her defense against Sean Fuller. We head back to ringside~
Smith: HUGE news, Hood! Whoever gets that numbers advantage could very well have just the edge they need to win War Games at Total Demolition!
Hood: The Family better beat them…I mean, seriously, what is the family against Brianna…zero for?
Smith: Life, pretty much
Hood: It’s fucking ridiculous…hopefully Fuller can turn things around tonight and then next week The Family can defeat Brianna’s team and move one step closer to ridding us of the smiling, looney brit
Smith: That would be heartbreaking…well, Hood…it’s time for a match I’ve been looking forward to all week long…Kenshin Takamura tries to end his losing streak against Bobbinette Carey
Hood: Oh, yea…Carey..the woman trying to stick it to our President…and not in the fun way
Smith: He did wrong her, Hood…if you can’t see that, well, there’s not much I can do for you
Hood: Good cause I don’t want your fucking help
Smith: Let’s go down to ringside
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall…
~”Circus” begins to play as the Montana State crowd rises to their feet and begins to cheer loudly for one of OCW’s most popular wrestlers, Bobbinette Carey. She makes her way to the ring with a look of focus on her face. Carey enters into the ring as her music dies down~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Parma Heights, Ohio…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 165lbs…”Queen of Epicness” Bobbinette Carey!!!
~The lights fade in the arena as the beginning chorus of "Guren no Yumiya" begins. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation for who they know is entering. Red lights under the entrance ramp kick on casting a red glow from the entrance ramp and entrance stage. As the chorus suddenly picks up in a frantic song, spotlights scan everywhere through out the arena to the speed of the music until finally the lead singer of Linked Horizon begins singing. Those lights focus in on the entrance stage where Kenshin Takamura emerges from behind the curtains to a huge pop from the crowd. Upon reaching the top of the entrance ramp, he looks around at the crowd which is buzzing loudly before dropping to his knees and raises his open hands wide and high as his eyes shut gently. White pyrotechnics fire off behind him, meanwhile the red lights under the entrance stage and ramp, light up his muscular form, showing off how good of shape he's in. After a moment, in an impressive display of agility, he leaps from his knees up to his feet before making his way toward the ring. He approaches the ring steps and jogs up them then across the apron. For a moment, he looks out at the crowd, who cheer him on before he steps through the ropes and takes his corner while clasping his fingers together then rotating his wrists as the lights return to normal...~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 235 lbs…he is the OCW March Face of the Month…Kenshin Takamura!!!
~Belvedere exits the ring and sounds the bell as the crowd sounds hyped for this one~
Smith: Wow, big match here Hood…some might have expected Dean to wait and book this for a Pay Per View…or even a title.
Hood: How? Neither of them have any fucking titles
Smith: Foresight, Hood…Foresight!
Hood: Well, buy me a magic eight ball and I’ll give it a try
~Carey and Takamura begin circling each other around the center of the ring. The two highly trained in ring technicians measure one another up, looking for a noticeable weakness. Carey extends her arm…Takamura grabs it…Carey grabs Takamura’s arm and locks it behind him. Takamura winces as his injured shoulder is once again under strain. He quickly reverses it and gets Carey in an arm lock. Carey winces, slightly…Takamura increases the pressure forcing a grimace to crawl across Carey’s face. She walks towards the ropes and leaps onto the second rope, she rotates in the direction of the arm Takamura has…her left arm, she bounces off the ropes and throws a kick at Takamura’s head. He ducks and lets go. Takamura’s back is to carry as a result of the action, he turns around and lunges to grab her, she is able to obtain his arm and drops him to the mat with an armdrag. Carey holds onto Takamura’s arm and applies a tightly secured armbar, yet again on the injured shoulder of Takamura~
Smith: Two highly skilled technicians in there, Hood and…as you would expect, Carey is going after that injured shoulder.
Hood: Will this fucking guy give it a rest already? Does he want his shoulder to just fly out of his skin and land in the middle of the ring…looking all bloody and gross.
Smith: I would say on a list of things Kenshin Takamura would like to see happen…that ranks fairly low.
Hood: I’m just saying, if a guy’s dick is all bruised and beat up after a night of blow jobs with a girl that doesn’t know how to hide her teeth…he isn’t just gonna jump right back in there the next night with some horse faced broad.
Smith: That happen to you a lot?
Hood: Only with the five dollar meth headed hookers. Which is funny because you’d think all their teeth would have rotted out by that point in their awesome lives.
Smith: Indeed
~Takamura gets back to his feet, displaying his strength advantage. He places his palm under Carey’s jaw and forces her into the nearest corner. Before Carey’s back hits the turnbuckles, she shows great in-ring awareness and hops back onto the second rope, she then leaps off, still holding Takamura’s arm and sends him flying across the ring with another arm drag! She lets go this time as Kenshin’s body slides near the ropes…he holds his shoulder in pain as Carey is in the center of the ring on one knee~
Smith: Kenshin is coming off of a two match losing streak after appearing to be unbeatable for the first few months of his career. You have to assume the shoulder injury has a lot to do with that.
Hood: Assume? He’s our new one armed man! Being one armed may be an advantage at Disney World so you can head to the front of the line…but certainly not in wrestling.
Smith: I’ve never seen an amputee head to the front of the line at Disney World…I think they’d be offended if offered.
Hood: Bullshit, we used to tuck our arms inside our sweaters to pull that shit off…ya know, because fuck those lines
Smith: That is so horrible…you are a terrible, terrible human
Hood: Well, here’s to being human
~Carey rushes over to Kenshin, noticing his injured shoulder and grabs that arm. She pulls Kenshin to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Kenshin runs into the ropes, but latches onto the top, keeping himself from bounces off. Carey runs at Kenshin…Kenshin, out of instinct, uses his injured arm to hip toss her out of the ring…Carey, though, holds onto his arm as she goes over the top rope and rakes it across the top rope. She hangs into it for a few split seconds, positioning herself for an easy landing. Once on her feet on the outside, she lets go and Kenshin falls back onto the mat, clutching his shoulder in pain. Kenshin’s overwhelming popularity causes a few boos…but Carey just ignores them, going about her business of winning the match~
Smith: Some die hard Kenshin fans may not like it…but everything Carey is doing is perfectly within the rules.
Hood: You know, Carey is growing on me.
Smith: Why? Because of boos?
Hood: Did you say boobs?
Smith: No, boos!
Hood: Oh, well I change my answer from yes to maybe.
~Carey yanks Kenshin back to his feet, using his bad arm…Kenshin continues to wince in pain. Carey drags him to the nearest corner and climbs to the top rope, holding onto his arm. She begins to walk across the top rope…Kenshin, sensing his arm can’t take anymore punishment, does the only thing he can think of…he throws his body into the ropes! Carey loses her balance and falls forward into the ring, releasing Kenshin’s arm! Carey is able to flip forward, landing on her back…she still arches it in pain, however, due to the unexpected impact~
Hood: Fuckin kamikaze man! It’s in his blood!
Smith: Calm down, Hood…he’s merely doing what he has to do to stay in this match.
Hood: Do you think he saw a piece of sushi on the rope…maybe he dove in for a bite?
Smith: I highly doubt that
~Carey recovers quickly and returns to her feet…Kenshin is on one knee, rotating his shoulder and wincing with each rotation. Carey walks up and grabs Kenshin’s wounded arm, yanking him to his feet. Kenshin spots an opening as he throws his good arm back and drills Carey in the face with a well placed elbow!! Carey staggers back, releasing Kenshin! Kenshin throws various leg kicks, drilling Carey in the thigh, shin and knee…each kick hurts worse than the previous one as Carey lifts her legs up gingerly. Kenshin then knees Carey in the gut, causing Carey to double over. He quickly lifts a knee into Carey’s face! Carey leans back, wobbles and falls to her knees. Kenshin then drills Carey in the side of the head with a roundhouse kick!! Carey falls to the mat as the crowd claps for Kenshin’s offense. Kenshin then starts to rotate his shoulder and loosen it up as Carey is lying on her side, apparently unconscious~
Smith: What a flurry of kicks by the dangerous Kenshin Takamura!
Hood: Why doesn’t he pin her?
Smith: While that was a vicious barrage of kicks…Bobbinette Carey isn’t the kind of opponent who goes down without a fight…I’m sure Kenshin is more concerned with working on his shoulder to hold up for the rest of this match.
Hood: Man, fuck that…I’d pin the bitch
Smith: We all know what you would do, Hood
Hood: WWHD!
~While Kenshin continues to work his shoulder out, we see Carey has made it back to her feet. She staggers a bit before gaining her balance and going after Kenshin. She throws a kick at Kenshin’s injured arm but Kenshin catches her leg! Carey responds by throwing an Inziguri at Kenshin’s head, Kenshin catches that leg as well!! He then flips Carey over and fluidly applies a single leg boston crab!! Carey yells out in pain as Scruff rushes over asking if she wants to submit…being the tremendous competitor that she is, Carey refuses~
Smith: Wow, what a reversal by Kenshin Takamura!
Hood: Okay, okay…so maybe loosening that shoulder up instead of going for the pin wasn’t the dumbest fucking move in the history of pro wrestling.
Smith: And look how perfectly he applies this move, Hood!
Hood: Well of course he’s good at it…it’s called Crab…he’s fucking Japanese…geez, man, do I have to connect all the dots for you?
Smith: Whatever!
~Carey is near the ropes…she reaches out and grabs the bottom rope!! She starts to climb the ropes before Kenshin can be asked for a break. Carey reaches the top rope and is now standing on one leg with Kenshin holding the other. They are back to back. Kenshin legs go of Carey’s leg, finding this to be an awkward position. Carey quickly jumps onto the second rope and flips over Kenshin as he turns around. Kenshin turns and finds himself facing nothing while Carey sprints across the ring. She leaps onto the middle rope across the ring as Kenshin turns around and walks towards her. She springs off with a cross body but Kenshin catches her!! Kenshin then tosses her over his head with a fall away slam!! Carey lands hard as the diehard Kenshin fans start to rally behind his offense~
Smith: The Queen of Epicness tried to catch Takamura off guard there and, well, it didn’t work.
Hood: She moved pretty good on that leg after Takamura’s one legged Sushi wrap
Smith: It was only locked in for mere seconds…this is Carey, not Richard
Hood: Don’t hate on Dick!
~Kenshin yanks Carey to her feet and whips her into the nearest corner…she hits hard. Kenshin charges in and leaps through the air, drilling her with a Stinger Splash!! Carey comes staggering out with Kenshin backing up. She staggers into his arms and he quickly hooks her and tosses her over his head with a Northern Light Suplex!! Carey lands on her head and winds up on her back…Kenshin goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close one there, but Bobbinette Carey isn’t out of this one just yet.
Hood: Bitch needs to kick him in the dick or something
Smith: She would never stoop to such levels!
Hood: You’re saying she wouldn’t go that low?
Smith: Never!
Hood: Okay, how about the abdomen then?
Smith: Perfectly legal and fine with me
~Kenshin gets to his feet and he grabs Carey by the head, pulling her to her feet. On her way up, though, she quickly traps Kenshin in a small package! Scruff slides back in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Carey nearly stole this one!
Hood: C’mon, sushimora…keep your eye on the prize!
Smith: When in the ring with a savvy vet like Carey, you can’t lose focus…not for one second!
~Both competitors get to their feet quickly. Kenshin throws a kick at Carey, she ducks and Kenshin gives up his back…Carey leaps up and drops Kenshin with a Backstabber!! Kenshin arches his back in pain. He gets to his feet though…Carey is on her feet and she runs into the ropes, bounces off and delivers a Flipping Spinning Neckbreaker!! She executes it flawlessly and Kenshin is motionless! Carey goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Bobbineckbreaker! Kenshin managed to kick out!
Hood: Damn, this bitch is froggy man…hopping and flying all over the damn place.
Smith: Ribbit?
Hood: What are you, the frog whisperer?
Smith: I am a fan of amphibians…I guess you’d call me a fanphibian
Hood: Or a fucking moron
~Carey gets to her feet and she lifts Kenshin to his. She nails him with a forearm uppercut and twirls Kenshin around where his back is facing her. She reaches up and hooks Kenshin’s head under her arm and brings him back for an inverted DDT. Kenshin, though, displays tremendous strength and agility and grabbing Carey, lifting her up, standing up right and then dropping her to the mat with a Tombstone Piledriver!! The crowd cheers the impressive display as Kenshin grabs Carey’s arm and drags her towards the center of the ring~
Smith: Another great reversal!! This has been a highly competitive match!
Hood: Once again he doesn’t go for the pin…does he think Carey is a leper or something?
Smith: No, Hood…I’m sure he has a plan
Hood: Maybe she’s got cooties
Smith: Those don’t exist!
Hood: Spoken like a guy who never got any in elementary school
Smith: And that’s supposed to be a bad thing?
~Kenshin grabs Carey’s arm and goes to lock in an STF. Carey, sensing this is certainly not the type of situation she needs to be in at the moment, wiggles and tries to fight out of it. She manages roll over onto her back with Kenshin standing over her, bent over. Carey grabs his wounded arm and yanks down on it as hard as she can! Kenshin staggers back into the nearest corner, clutching his arm in pain. Carey gets to her feet, rushes in and nails Kenshin under the chin with a high knee! She then wraps both legs around Kenshin’s head and tosses him across the ring with a huricanrana! The Carey fans in the crowd let their voices heard as they cheer their favorite~
Smith: Carey could sense Kenshin was about to lock her up in jail, so to speak, without parole!
Hood: Hey, if Biff can get out of jail for publicly admitting to cold blooded murder, anyone can
Smith: It was a metaphor
Hood: We should totally hire a guy named Metaphor
Smith: How would that work, exactly?
Hood: I don’t know. Give me time, I’ll figure it out
~Carey gets to her feet and pulls Kenshin to his. She knees him in the abdomen, causing Takamura to double over. Carey places her leg over the back of his neck, about to deliver Epic Ending! Kenshin, however, stands up and lifts Carey into a powerbomb position! He runs into the middle of the ring and drops her with a Running Sitout Powerbomb! Kenshin holds on for the pin, Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Whoa!! What a reversal by Kenshi, who nearly got the three because of it!
Hood: Metaphor…Metaphor…fuck man, this is harder than I originally thought
Smith: Just give it up…we don’t need any wrestler named Metaphor
Hood: YES WE DO
~After getting her shoulder up, Carey is in a sprinter’s stance and she takes off towards the ropes, she hits them and bounces off. Kenshin is still on the mat, he quickly rolls over onto his belly as Carey hops over him and hits the other set of ropes. Kenshin gets to his feet and quickly leapfrogs the sprinting Carey. Carey bounces off the ropes a third time and Kenshin leaps in the air, drilling Carey right in the FACE *SMACK!* with a Trouble in Paradise kick!! Carey collapses as Kenshin hooks both legs, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: I thought it was over!
Hood: Not like I thought she was attractive to begin with, but Carey’s face just got fucked the hell up!
Smith: What a rude thing to say…go back to thinking about Metaphor.
Hood: I can’t, it’s depressing…such awesome potential, but my alcohol diseased brain can’t piece it together.
Smith: Darn
~Kenshin yanks a nearly lifeless Carey to her feet and he drags her towards the nearest corner. He lifts her up and places her on the top turnbuckle. Kenshin climbs up there and hooks her for a superplex. Carey blocks it and wiggles her head free…she then head butts Kenshin right into his recently broken nose! Kenshin grabs it in pain as we see a couple trickles of blood drop down. Carey slides back down to the mat between Kenshin’s spread legs. She grabs him and powerbombs him off the top rope!! Kenshin lands hard. Carey hops onto the top rope, leaps off and drills Kenshin with a Guillotine Lego drop!! Carey goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another kick out!
Hood: I think Carey tried to make out with Kenshin!
Smith: She did not!
Hood: MJ is gonna be PISSED…not like I care, but seriously
Smith: Quit being so dramatic
~Carey yanks Kenshin to his feet and tosses him into the nearest corner. She runs in and turns around, throwing her back at Kenshin…she slams into Kenshin…but, as she does, Kenshin grabs her around the arm and throat. Carey tries to fight out of it, but Kenshin’s grip is too strong. He yanks her into the middle of the ring, lifts her up and drops her with a Tiger Suplex ’85! He holds on for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~Carey kicks out right after the three as Kenshin rolls away and hops to his feet. Scruff raises his arm in victory~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…KENSHIN TAKAMURA!!!!!
Smith: He did it, Kenshin Takamura pinned Bobbinette Carey and put an end to his losing streak!
Hood: I have to give it to them…great match…Carey’s best to date, in my opinion
Smith: She stood in there with the best OCW has to offer and nearly pulled it off
Hood: Damn fucking straight mother fucker
Smith: Okay, now you’re just saying it to say it
Hood: Well, I mean, there weren’t any chairs or tables or blood or drugs in that match…so I felt like I owed the fans
Smith: What a humanitarian
~We cut backstage where Scott Syren is walking down a hallway. He moves at a brisk pace with his head down, as if he'd rather not encounter anyone. He turns a corner and bumps into OCW mainstays Zeus and Hades, who appear to be in the midst of a heated debate. When the Greek Gods notice Syren, Hades shakes his head in disgust and begins to back away from his partner of over ten years.~
Hades: How appropriate. Make your own path, brother, and be well pleased with where it leads. My own loyalties lie with the man who has put food on our tables for the last decade.
Zeus: You forget yourself, insolent fool. Of those ten years, how many of them was this place actually open?! How many of them were we actually employed? How many—hey! You dare to walk away from me?!
Syren: Don't mind me. Didn't mean to interrupt.
~Syren tries to pass through the hallway, but Zeus turns around and stops him with a hand on his shoulder.~
Zeus: A moment, please. I would break words with the One True World Champion.
Syren: I have nothing to say to you. If you have a message from Dean, tell him I'd sooner have it from his own mouth... or his own fists, if that's where this is headed.
Zeus: No. Nothing like that.
~Zeus looks around suspiciously and lowers his voice.~
Zeus: I know what you and Pryde have been putting together. There have been whispers in the back.
Syren: Dunno what you're talking about, dude. Bye.
Zeus: I would join you, Scott Syren. Hades disagrees with me, but it is as he says... in this, I must follow my own path.
~Syren stops trying to maneuver around Zeus and considers the proposition. He leans in close to Zeus and whispers quickly.~
Syren: We'd be glad to have you. I can't officially make the call on my own, but make yourself available next Monday. I'll set up a meeting with Pryde and the others and if everyone agrees, we can bring you up to speed.
Zeus: Gratitude, my friend.
~Syren nods and continues on his way to wherever. Zeus smiles, pleased with this development. He is about to head back into the locker room when President Dean pops out from behind the same corner Syren originated from... almost as if he had been following the One True World Champion.~
Dean: Zeus! Sucka! When's the last time you had a match?
Zeus: I... well... a while, I guess--
Dean: Damn! That ain't right, man. One of my oldest, most loyal wrestlers confined to dark matches and house show appearances with our indy partners? I think we have some extra time tonight... how about we put you in an impromptu match!
Zeus: Tonight?
Dean: Tonight! Shit, sucka, how about right now!
Zeus: Uhh, well, I guess? Let me go find Hades...
Dean: Naw, sucka! I'm talking about a singles match! Real high-profile shit. Hardcore rules, backstage, with a special stipulation!
Zeus: Stipulation?
Dean: That's right. Loser is fired from OCW!
Zeus: Fired?!
Dean: Fired as a mothafucka! Let me go get your opponent!
~Zeus' mouth hangs open in bewilderment as President Dean ducks back around the corner.~
Smith: Fans, we apparently have a very special and very unusual match for you! One of OCW's oldest tag-team superstars in hardcore singles action against a mystery opponent, with the loser leaving OCW forever!
~Suddenly, a large black man with a Zorro mask and a bright red mustache pops into the hallway. He is holding a long steel pipe.~
Zeus: Fuck.
Zeus (0-2) vs. Not President Dean (?-0)
Hood: I feel like we're not going to need one.
Smith: I feel like you're right!
~Not President Dean starts off the action by wailing Zeus across the face with the steel pipe. Zeus drops to the cold floor, blood seeping out between his shattered teeth. He isn't moving except for a tiny disturbing twitch in a few of his left fingers.~
Hood: I don't think it's a stretch to claim that this Not President Dean guy has one of the deepest and most diverse skill sets on the roster! Get this man a title shot!
Smith: Sure.
~Not President Dean “pins” Zeus with his foot and makes the count himself, tapping the steel pipe against the wall for cadence~
...1
...2
...3!!!
Smith: Well, that happened. And it looks like Zeus will not only not be a part of Scott Syren and Pryde's alliance, he will also no longer be an employee of OCW.
Hood: Yep. Not President Dean sending a very strong pro-company message here by taking out a potential member of Operation Zero... whatever the fuck that is. I'm sure President Dean will be pleased with this young man's performance. In fact, this N.P.D. kid kind of reminds me of a young Dean back when The Prez was still limber enough to mix it up in the ring.
Smith: Mmm-hmm. Who do you think Scott Syren meant when he told Zeus he'd have to check with Pryde “and the others”?
Hood: Knowing Scott Syren, its either some kind of powerful wizard or a bunch of seventeen-year-old sluts.
Smith: He certainly has an interesting and diverse group of associates... unfortunately for him, that group will not include a Greek God, as Zeus has just been kicked out of OCW after ten-plus years of loyal service to the company.
Hood: Is it just me, or does this kind of remind you of what happened to T--
Smith: Don't even say it. Just don't.
Hood: Fine, I won’t!
Smith: Good! Well, folks…in seven days we are going to witness something truly special…the prophecy or whatever you want to call it is nearly fulfilled…take a look
~The video comes to a close and we cut to taped footage. Sean is seen pulling a white ford ranger into one of the units of an undisclosed secure storage facility. Sean looks over at the camera and gives a nice wave while smiling. The shot makes Sean look like a giant, but that's just because his daughter is the one taking the footage. Sean locks up the unit and sets some "precautions" before leaving the facility~
~The scene changes to a room back stage with MJ Bell and The Harlequin both watching a television. MJ is all cleaned up from her match against Payne which took place a little earlier. The camera wobbles a bit when MJ knocks a chair over abruptly. She turns in a little circle before grabbing a chair and throwing into the wall. The Harlequin jumps away with a yelp~
MJ Bell: That son of a bitch!
The Harlequin: Easy there feisty pants!
MJ Bell: He stole my truck! I can't believe he stole my fucking truck! I knew it!
~The red head storms from the room with her hands clenched in tight fists before The Harlequin glances at the camera before she runs after MJ Bell. She is stopped by a FedEx delivery gal in the hall and asked to sign for something~
MJ Bell: What is this?
~Confused, MJ signs for the package and takes it into her possession. She opens it and sees what appears to be her driver's side mirror. The Harlequin gasps with a slight smirk~
The Harlequin: Mmm. Someone sure has a lot of nerve.
MJ Bell: No kidding.
~MJ's rolls her eyes before continuing on her way with the mirror in hand. We head back to ringside~
Smith: I would press charges on him immediately!
Hood: That’s not going to work with Sean Fuller…he only understands one thing…violence
Smith: Well, you just don’t steal from people
Hood: You do it all the time
Smith: I do not!
Hood: Yea, you steal their time and energy by forcing them to listen to you week in and week out
Smith: People think I’m awesome…and if that were true, it’d be Dean stealing from them, not me
Hood: We’ve got no room for logic here, Smith
Smith: Evidently not…well, it’s time for our next match as Pryde is back in action coming off of his Southern Title win at Black Out 2…let’s go down to ringside
~Richard is in the ring practicing what looks to be hip hop kido (you know the martial arts Zack from Power Rangers taught)~
Smith: As you can see ladies and gentlemen, we are readying for our triple threat that will our first ever Southern champion in action in a non-title match against Drew Stevenson and Richard who looks fired up.
Hood: He looks more than fired up, he looks ready to win this.
Smith: Um yeah ...about that.
~"Sound of Madness" by Shinedown plays as Drew Stevenson enters the gym and plays up to the fans a bit. He slides into the ring and pays no mind to Richard as he waits his number one target~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is a Triple Threat Match. Already in the ring is Richard! Introducing next, from Kansas City, Missouri, standing 6’2 and weighing in at 250lbs…Drew Stevenson!!!
~"Dangerous" by Within in Temptation blasts over the P.A and soon the the Southern champion makes his way out from behind the curtains to a good pop. Focused as always he slides in under the bottom rope and looks at his two opponents. He then raises the title above his head ...Stevenson cannot take his eyes off it ...Richard seems to be distracted by a lady in the front row with a low cut top~
Belvedere: And their opponent…from Parts Unknown, standing 5’8 and weighing in at 200lbs…he is the OCW Southern Champion….Pryde!!!
~The bell rings and Richard comes out swinging from his corner at Pryde. He wails on him but Pryde's body language is not of someone who is in distress. Stevenson pushes Richard aside and begins hitting Pryde with lefts and rights that are more effective. Pryde starts fighting back with lefts and rights of his ...until Richard jumps on his back with what looks to be a shoddy attempt at a headlock. Pryde just thrusts backward into the turnbuckle, sandwhiching Richard which does the job of getting him to release the "hold." But this distracts him just enough for Stevenson to plow him a running STF. Richard stumbles out of the corner and Stevenson nails him with a scoop slam. He turns his attention back to Pryde and begins to work on him with stomps to his chest~
Smith: Stevenson has said it over the week, he is a man looking to make himself the number one contender for the Southern title by giving Pryde his first defeat in OCW.
Hood: And you cannot really blame him. After being embroiled in a feud with Damian Payne, Stevenson wants to be a man on the way up and having Pryde's number would definitely do just that.
~Richard attacks Stevenson again but Stevenson just lays him out with a clothesline. He clearly is much more concerned with Pryde. But he turns into a running elbow from Pryde ...that throws him into a schoolboy by Richard~
...1
...2
...shoulder up.
Hood: Whoa! Did Richard actually get something that looked like a pin? He might be the serious threat to Pryde's title.
Smith: A pinning atttempt is some nice improvement but I do not think it is worthy of saying that he should get a shot at Pryde's Southern title.
~Stevenson looks shocked but before he can do anything Pryde has irish whipped Richard into the corner and then does the same for Stevenson. Pryde gets a running start is going to hit a Stinger Splash ...but instead Stevenson recovers just in time to give him a European uppercut mid-move~
Smith: WOW! Amazing counter there by Drew Stevenson and it takes the Southern Champion back to the mat.
Hood: I am telling you that between Drew Stevenson and Richard that we could see a new challenger to the Southern title.
Smith: That is just cruel to Richard. You and I both know he has no shot.
~Stevenson catapults Pryde into a still dazed Richard and both collide. Richard falls on his butt and Stevenson immediately nails him with a running knee to the face. But Pryde springboards off the ropes with a dropkick that sends Stevenson to the mat. Pryde attacks but Stevenson performs a drop toe hold on him. Stevenson attacks again but Pryde performs a single leg takedown. Pryde goes for a leg drop but Stevenson moves out of the way and nails him with an arm drag. He goes for the irish whip but Stevenson reverses it. Pryde is off the ropes and hits him a flying cross body ...that Drew Stevenson rolls over into a an inside cradle~
...1
...2
~...Pryde reverses it~
...1
...2
~...Stevenson reverses it into an ankle lock and Pryde is suddenly struggling in the hold~
Smith: Wow, with Richard temporarily out of the equation, these two men are putting on quite the clinic. I do not think Pryde was ready for this kind of competition from Stevenson.
Hood: I do not think any of expected this kind of fire from him.
Smith: Well, he really has not had the chance to stand out thus far in OCW.
Hood: Well, he is certainly standing out now and he might even get Pryde to tap out.
~Pryde reaches for the ropes but Drew Stevenson immediately pulls him backwards and continues to apply the pressure. Pryde struggles and begins to inch his way closer and closer to the ropes but Drew Stevenson, once again, pulls him backwards. Pryde writhes in what can only be assumed to be pain ...because you cannot really see what he looks like under that mask ...but he is definitely writhing in something~
Smith: Wow, we could actually see it here. We can see Pryde get his first defeat. What a feather in Stevenson's cap this would be.
Hood: They all have to fall at some point ...I just think Pryde was hoping it would not be so soon after winning the title.
~Pryde somehow, someway, reverses the move and catapults Stevenson into the turnbuckle~
Smith: He did IT! Pryde was able to get out of that submission ...but for a moment there, I thought Stevenson might have had it.
Hood: I don't normally like a lot of things, but I am enjoying the effort all three men are putting into this.
Smith: Again, stop being cruel to Richard.
Hood: What? I am saying good things about him?
Smith: You are saying that to be funny.
~Before Pryde can continue to work over the surprisingly powerful Drew Stevenson Richard delivers a spears ...it does nothing and Richard falls backwards like he just hit a brick wall. But this was just enough of a distraction for Stevenson to come out of his corner with a scissors kick which again puts Pryde back down on the mat. Richard attacks him but Stevenson just performs a German Suplex on him that also just so happens to smash him into Pryde's ribs~
Hood: That is what you call "two birds, one stone." Brutal offense there. This really shows how important that Southern title is to the boys in the back.
Smith: And the girls?
Hood: We already have a Woman's championship and it is called the Central title.
~Pryde tries to get back to his feet but Stevenson performs a kick to his ribs before pulling him up for a belly to back suplex. He grabs him once more and nails him with The Emperor's Fall. He then waits for him to come to and readies the superkick gearing up to finish him off and make his impact. Pryde is up and Stevenson NAILS him square in the face with it and it looks like Pryde is out. Stevenson, knowing he has this won makes the cover~
...1
...2
~...Richard breaks the pinfall. Drew immediately gets up looking PISSED at him~
Smith: Um ...Richard, this is an elimination match buddy not one fall to a finish.
Hood: That is all part of Richard's genius.
Smith: Stop being cruel.
~Stevenson gets to his feet, angered with Richard's unneeded interruption. He had this one won ...at least in HIS mind ...he had this one won. Stevenson thusly hits him with the superkick and immediately puts him in that devastating Missouri Cloverleaf. Richard immediately begins to tap~
Smith: And Richard is eliminated as Stevenson has finally had enough of his blundering about in the ring.
Hood: DON'T BE CRUEL! See how it feels buddy.
~As Richard slides out of the ring, Stevenson turns ...only to be hit with a springboard dropkick from Pryde. He quickly follows up with a lionsault and hooks the leg~
...1
...2
...Shoulder up!
Smith: The Southern Champion almost had him there but I think Drew Stevenson has more in the tank.
Hood: For his sake I hope he does because he was so close to getting the pinfall victory over the champ.
~Drew is back up but Pryde hits him with the atomic drop and then runs to the ropes and then does a handspring senton onto Drew's chest. He goes for the pinfall again~
...1
...2
...kickout!
Smith: I think it is starting to sink into Pryde how important it is to get the pinfall as fast as he possibly can. If he lets Drew get the momentum he could actually lose this one and it is important to keep that undefeated streak alive.
Hood: I am telling you, there is great reason for him to feel like that is in jeopardy. If it was not for Richard, Stevenson would have pinned him ...and then would have been thusly beaten by Richard.
Smith: I am not even going to say it this time.
~Pryde is off the ropes again for a flying head scissors but Stevenson counters it into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He pulls him back up and impales him into the mat with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. He again pulls him up with a Fireman's carry. Feeling that he has this one won, he readies that superkick. Once Pryde is back up and goes for it but Pryde ducks it and hits him that vicious facebuster. Pryde heads to the top turnbuckle and awaits for Stevenson to get back to his feet and when he does, Pryde launches himself off with that Dragoncanrana known as Pryde Cometh Before the Fall. He quickly hooks the leg~
...1
...2
...3
Belvedere: Here is your winner, the OCW Southern Champion ...PRYDE!!!!!
Smith: That was one hell of an effort there from Drew Stevenson has there were times where I thought he had it won.
Hood: Screw that! He did have it won ...it is just that the wonderfully talented, intellegent, and dare I say beautiful Richard decided it was not his time.
Smith: Don't be ...
Hood: I KNOW! I KNOW!
~Pryde remains in the ring, standing with his hands on his hips as if disappointed and bored by the low quality of the match he just participated in. The crowd begins to murmur slightly as rookies Kobra and PerZag make their way to the ring.~
Smith: Now what do you think is going on here? Remember, we saw these two working together in the opening rookie rumble, and now they're coming to the ring to... confront Pryde? I can't speak for Kobra and PerZag, but Pryde is one of the last people I'd want to mess with if I was an incoming rookie.
Hood: Well, remember what happened to Zeus earlier when he tried to align himself with Scott Syren? We already know that Syren and Pryde have an alliance... so Dean probably told these two rookie bitches that they had to come out here and beat Pryde's ass if they want to keep their contracts... the Prez knows how to handle his shit without getting his own hands dirty... Dean be gangsta as fuck, dogg!
Smith: I'm not sure that's politically correct... that being said, it is a pretty good theory as to what these two are doing out here.
~PerZag and Kobra march to the ring determinedly. They hop up onto the apron, duck through the ropes, walk past Pryde, and immediately begin attacking Richard and Drew Stevenson, both of whom are still laid out on the mat. Some of the more bloodthirsty audience members cheer the arbitrary beat-down, a few others boo the senseless violence. Most murmur with indifference because, let's be honest, nobody gives a shit about Drew Stevenson or Richard. Kobra straddles Drew Stevenson and begins wrenching his neck with a hold similar to a camel clutch. PerZag treats Richard to a few brutal stomps to the midsection before lifting him up and slinging him across his shoulders in a torture rack. Richard bounces up and down helplessly in the painful hold. Meanwhile, Kobra releases his hold on Drew Stevenson and forces the man to his feet. He picks him up around the waist, then runs—carrying him—to the opposite side of the ring and slams him down with a running spinebuster! The crowd pops for the sheer brutality of Kobra's move.~
Hood: I have no idea what's going on here, but its rather hilarious.
Smith: Rather disgraceful, I'd say. I can understand interference and beatdowns when we're talking about the deep-seeded animosity between Brianna and the Family, but this? This is just senseless violence. Look at Richard! Look at the way PerZag has that torture rack locked in! This could spell the end of the man's career!
Hood: Good thing he has stand-up comedy and rapping to fall back on.
~The crowd pops again—another mixture of cheers and boos—but this time it is for Scott Syren, who has emerged from the back and is making his way to the ring. His generally ketchup-stained wardrobe has been replaced by a clean black t-shirt with a large, dark gray numeral zero barely visible on the front. (Although he still wears his filthy cut-off jean shorts.) Syren makes his way into the ring and waves dismissively, which signals Kobra and PerZag to toss their victims out of the ring. Stevenson and Richard land hard on the outside and are immediately checked on by medical personnel. Pryde reaches down through the ropes and demands Belvedere's microphone, which the coward gladly gives up. Pryde hands the mic to Syren.~
Syren: First off, apologies to Richard and Steven Drewson, but we had to prove a point. Let me take a survey... did any of you fans really give a shit when these two rookies came out here and beat the shit out of these guys?
~The crowd begins a “FUUUUUCK NO” chant.~
Syren: See, that's what I thought. And that, by way of the transitive property, leads me to believe that wrestling fans simply don't give a shit about Steven and Drew Richardson, or whoever these fucking guys are. So the question presents itself... why the fuck is the undefeated, undisputed OCW Southern Champion out here wasting his time fighting these two? Better yet, why the fuck was the undefeated, undisputed OCW Southern Champion not invited to captain a War Games team?
~Pryde holds his Southern title belt up in the air for emphasis. The fans begin to murmur amongst themselves, others begin cheering for Pryde and shouting out their agreement with Syren.~
Syren: What kind of dog and pony sex show is this when the undefeated, undisputed OCW Southern Champion is out here risking injury blasting meaningless jobbers, and your so-called “Main Event” is some woman fighting some guy to further some contrived feud that's already been played out a half dozen times? We already know Sean Fuller isn't going to win tonight—he may or may not be a better wrestler than Brianna, but that isn't even the point. Fuller is going to lose tonight because it's all been agreed upon months ahead of time. The OCW puppet masters have already decided that it would be better for the brand if Brianna goes into Bore Games as the champion.
~The crowd begins to boo and shout angrily at the insinuation that success and opportunity in the OCW might be based on anything other than skill and in-ring performance. Some of the crowd is simply angry that Syren would suggest such a thing... but many others are angry because they agree that it is true.~
Syren: Use your fucking heads. Why do you think Roach smashed up a shitty used car instead of burning somebody's house down? Because a shitty used car only costs OCW a couple hundred dollars while still providing the same illusion of intense hatred between The Family and Brianna's crew... who are, in reality, two sides of the same corporate coin. The insiders, the unapologetic dick-chompers, they get what they want. But those of us who are simply here to fight? People like me and Pryde? We remain on the outside looking in. The main events, the high profile feuds, the title pushes... these decisions aren't made based upon what you people want to see... shit, they aren't even based upon what happens in the ring... for fuck's cunt, Kenji Yamahama and MJ Bell get more airtime playing grab-ass than I do beating the fuck out of people. And that's despite the fact that eighty-five percent of OCW's inbred fan base believes interracial relationships are an abomination! But OCW doesn't care about what you or I want... it's all based on backroom political maneuvering, secret meetings, special favors, brainwashing initiatives, rays from outer space, nanobots being placed in the food and Gatorade that OCW provides backstage...
Smith: Well fans, we all knew this day would come. I think it's safe to say that the steroids and crack cocaine have taken their toll, and Scott Syren has finally gone completely bat-poop nuts.
Hood: More like bat-poop fucking awesome... but yeah, the conspiracy theory stuff is a bit much. Next thing you know he's going to be wearing a tinfoil hat, driving around in a 1991 station wagon with seventeen different antennas and a “Don't Tread on Me” sticker. Regardless of how insane some of this sounds, you've at least gotta like Syren and Pryde's recruiting tactics... Kobra fights like a rhinoceros on crystal meth, and PerZag... well, PerZag just creeps me the fuck out.
Smith: Indeed!
Syren: I know there will be doubters. There will be those who demand evidence. Well open up your eyes, dickfaces, because you're looking at the evidence right now! That's right, what better evidence is there than old Scott Syren himself? I was the last World Heavyweight Champion this place had before it closed down... in the last couple months I've destroyed every single opponent placed in my path... and I have yet to see a main event since coming back!!! Well, fuck that. I'm done trying to make my name jerking curtains while Brianna and Mario make theirs jerking Dean. I call bullshit. I call bullshit on this whole place. And when Scott Syren calls bullshit, bullshit better be courteous and answer on the second or third ring.
~Many of the fans agree, and begin a “BULL-SHIT” chant. Kobra slides to the outside of the ring and begins pacing around the ring, making sure no trouble comes to the men inside. He grabs a beer from an audience member and chugs it. Inside the ring, Syren hands the microphone to PerZag and raises his One True World (and Internet) Title Belt above his head.~
PerZag: Yes, it is me. PerZag. I have officially joined Scott Syren and Pryde. I know I said that no one was worthy in this company, but I do have to deny that now. I have found people who are worthy, and we will take out everyone who is unworthy. Those who are worthy will join us. Those who are not. Well, it is not right to say on air what will happen to them, but they would not be able to fight again. I am PerZag, and I am saying this... We ARE WORTHY.
~Some of the fans begin to mumble amongst themselves in concern for this troubling message. Others begin to cheer, deciding that they like this creep's style. Pryde takes the microphone from PerZag and the fans become silent. They are eager to hear what Pryde has to say.~
Pryde: When I came to OCW, it's because Dean offered me a second chance. My opportunity to redeem myself. But it seems that a lot of that was hot air. Since I've been here, I've had my matches switched, been teamed with an egotistical maniac, and given absolutely no support from the President. He clearly never wanted me to be holding this championship. He wouldn't even stop The Family from interfering in the title match. Why? Because he wanted The Family to have the gold, not me. But I ruined those plans, so what does he do next? He sits me for a week, and then puts me in the match you just saw. A bottom-feeder match. Would Maurako have been put in a match against these two if he had won? No. Dean sees my mask and doesn't see dollar signs. Well, fuck him. Syren sees my potential. PerZag and Kobra see it. With their support, nobody's going to stop us.
~Pryde tosses the mic to the floor, and with that, the four men exit the ring area without another word. Kobra grabs another fan's beer on his way up the ramp. Syren likes his style, copies him, and the two men make a toast to the beginning of something wonderful.~
Smith: We have an anti establishment group, apparently….and it’s led by the most rebellious wrestler in OCW History…Scott Syren
Hood: I KNEW I liked Kobra and PerZag…I just fucking knew it! Yes!
Smith: What is Syren going to do when he has to face Kobra in a few weeks?
Hood: Fight like men…and then, probably convince Kobra to lay down for him
Smith: I’m sure Dean will figure out a way to prevent that from happening
Hood: Fucking Dean…Syren is right, get off Brianna’s ass and hop back on the Syren Train
Smith: It’s a new age, Hood…a new age
Hood: That’s just an excuse for Dean being a dick bag
Smith: I’d be careful if I were you…Dean may be laid back, but even he has his limits
Hood: Haha, whatever
~We cut backstage where Kobra has separated from the rest of his new crew. He seems pretty excited, after all, it’s been a great debut night for the man. Jason Xavier appears down the hallway, he’s being looked at by a doctor after the grueling match he just went through, barely losing to Kobra at the end. Kobra suddenly remembers the chair shot Xavier gave him…it’s time for payback~
Smith: Uh oh…Jason Xavier is about to be in a world of hurt and he doesn’t even know it
Hood: You don’t fuck with Syren’s crew!
Smith: Unless Xavier is a prophet or can see into the future…I doubt he had the option to consider that at the time.
Hood: Yea, bullshit
~Kobra rushes Xavier…before Xavier knows what’s going on, Kobra has clotheslined him off the table he was sitting on while being looked at. Xavier crashes to the unforgiving cold hard floor and rolls around in pain. The doctor scurries off. Kobra lifts Xavier up, onto his shoulders as we can audibly hear the crowd groan and express concern~
Smith: Oh no! Not this! Not on that floor!
Hood: Boom mother fucker!
~Kobra runs down the hall a ways before dropping Xavier with a Death Valley Driver onto the hard surface!! Xavier’s body goes limp as we can see blood begin to ooze from underneath his hair on top of his head…it rolls down the sides of his face as he’s lying on his back. Kobra gets to his feet and he spits on Xavier~
Smith: No Cure! He dropped him with NO CURE on the Hard Floor!
Hood: Yea, looked rough
~Kobra walks off as the doctor reemerges to check out on Jason Xavier. He quickly yells for help as Xavier is in bad shape. Our feed cuts back to ringside where a beach type scene has been set up. Fake palm trees, sand, a little above ground swimming pool…a giant margarita glass and OCW President Dean in a Hawaiian type shirt and white shorts with flip flops. The crowd begins to buzz with excitement, pretty sure at what’s coming next. Oh, lest we forget…there’s a cheap bar with various liquor bottles behind it and a ridiculously big chested blonde working it~
Smith: I think we can all assume what time it is…
Hood: See ya later, Smith…I’m heading out!
Smith: You are staying right here!
Hood: Get your hands off me ya damned dirty ape!
~While Hood and Smith scuffle, Dean reveals a microphone and begins to speak~
Dean: Alright, seeing as we are at a four year university now…no longer touring those community colleges…I don’t think I have to spell out what’s about to happen here. So, without further ado…suckas…I give you…OCW’s new financier…JIMMY FUCKING BUFFET!!!
~The crowd goes wild as Dean tosses one more line in there before Buffet comes out~
Dean: And, free drinks for whoever can guess his entrance theme…
Crowd: MARGARITAVILLE
Dean: Fuck it, mix em up!
~The bartender gets busy as the famous beginning to the classic tune “Margaritaville” starts up…the crowd gets to their feet and begins to sway to the music because Bozeman, Montana is a really fucking laid back community~
Jimmy Buffet: Nibblin on Sponge Cake…
~Buffet emerges from behind the curtain with a guitar in hand and a mic attached to his ear and over his mouth. He begins to sing the famous words to his most popular song. The crowd sings along with him. He makes his way to the ring…while doing so, he eyes a couple of slammin co-eds on the way down. Buffet reaches the ring steps and scales them showing great stability for what we assume is a drunk, stoned old man. He reaches the chorus of his song as Dean sits on the middle rope, creating an entrance~
Crowd: WASTIN AWAY IN MARGARITAVILLE…
~Buffet climbs through the ropes, displaying tremendous skill by maneuvering his guitar through them without ever missing a chord. Once in the ring, Dean grabs two drinks, one for himself and one for Buffet. They toast and take a sip. The bartender begins to hand drinks to Belvedere and Scruff to pass out to the audience. Gruff runs out and helps in feeding the audience drinks…Buffet hits the final chords to his legendary tune before letting the guitar drop to his side and instantly chugging the drink Dean gave him. Dean pats Buffet on the back, takes a sip of his drink…the crowd is buzzing…with chatter…only one drink deep at this point…but they are super stoked to see Jimmy Buffet in Montana. Dean picks up the mic and begins to speak~
Dean: Jimmy! Great to see ya, man!
Jimmy Buffet: DEAN! Son, give me a hug!
~Dean and Buffet share a warm, half drunken embrace. Dean takes another sip, finding himself to be way too sober for this interaction~
Jimmy Buffet: Wait…wait…wait…yell my name again…
Dean: Jimmy!
Jimmy Buffet: DEAN!
~Buffet pauses, looking at Dean…Dean is fairly confused. Buffet pats him on the arm~
Jimmy Buffet: Jimmy Dean sausage, man…I’ve got some in my ridiculously large limo, if you want some after the show.
Dean: Awesome…but, hey, let’s talk a little shop, what do you say?
Jimmy Buffet: Sounds great to me…but first…another round of drinks!!
~The crowd goes wild as Buffet is made another drink. He stuffs some money down in between the bartender’s breasts. She makes Dean another one, Buffet hands it to Dean…he quickly chugs the old one to make room for the new one. Gruff, Scruff and Belvedere resume passing drinks out~
Dean: Thanks, Jimmy…but, onto OCW…I want to officially thank you, in front of everyone watching, for putting up the money so that we can run for another two months.
Jimmy Buffet: It was my pleasure…
~Dean pauses, expecting Buffet to continue. Instead, Buffet takes a long sip of his drink~
Dean: As you’re well aware, I’ve been working hard behind the scenes to present the best product possible…in an effort to give you a legit return on your investment. For instance, at the end of this month, we will be presenting a Pay Per View called Total Demolition live from Tombstone, Arizona!
Jimmy Buffet: I’m your huckleberry!
Dean: Yes, Jimmy…great movie…and, headlining that show will be an epic War Games match between The Family and Team Brianna.
Jimmy Buffet: You booked Matthew Broderick to re-enact that boring movie? I thought we were going to make this entertaining, Deano.
Dean: No, no…not the 80s movie…I’m talking about the match…two hell in a cells, two rings…ten competitors…basically all the worst parts of the Bible.
Jimmy Buffet: Oh, okay…because fuck that guy…he still owes me for Godzilla.
Dean: And everyone else…but, hey, Jimmy
Jimmy Buffet: WHAT?
Dean: How about that ‘other’ thing we came up with…you know, for Clash at the Coast…it’s gold, shiny…round in shape…
Jimmy Buffet: You mean my golden record Margaritaville? Fuck yea! Bartender, another round!!
~Buffet grabs his guitar and starts to strum the chords, Dean tries to stop him…but we all know there’s no stopping Jimmy Buffet~
Jimmy Buffet: Nibblin on sponge cake…
~The crowd goes wild as Buffet goes right into the famous lyrics of his most popular song. Dean shakes his head and smiles...finding it hard to be too angry with what’s going on…he decides to go with the flow and grabs another drink~
Smith: Hmm…and we thought things lacked focus before.
Hood: You know what would make this more awesome?
Smith: What?
Hood: If you’d untie me and let me run into that ring…or if they would at least bring US some fucking drinks.
Smith: I can ask for a tall glass of water.
Hood: Fuck off
~Suddenly, a really attractive co-ed with a low cut shirt, tight shorts and pink tennis shoes steps from the bleachers and rushes into the ring. She slides in under the bottom rope…security is too busy passing out drinks to catch her. Buffet, mesmerized by her low cut shirt, ceases singing~
Jimmy Buffet: Well hellloooo there…if you’re wanting an autograph, I’ll be giving those out backstage once I’m done here. By the way, do you like Jimmy Dean sausage?
~The girl leans in, like she’s going to kiss Buffet…Buffet closes his eyes, instead, she uses the mic in front of his mouth to speak~
Girl: I’m actually here for Dean.
~Buffet opens his eyes and backs away, smiling. He motions towards Dean…the girl turns towards Dean with her back to Buffet. Buffet pumps his fist in the ‘give it to her good’ motion. If Dean weren’t black, he’d be blushing. Buffet grabs another drink~
Dean: Yea?
~She walks up to Dean and reaches down her shirt…Dean’s expression can best be described as excited anxiety. Surprisingly, she unearths rolled up papers and smacks them into Dean’s chest. She speaks into the mic he’s holding~
Girl: President Dean, you’ve been served.
~Dean’s eyes grow wide, he suddenly turns around and grabs his face. He then turns back, looking at her, he’s got his zorro mask and bright red mustache on~
Dean: You’ve got the wrong guy…this is Not President Dean
~The girl smirks, rolls her eyes and exits the ring. Dean turns around and hides his face, attempting to keep Not President Dean’s identity a secret…even at this point, the man is still a professional. He turns back to the camera and is Dean again. He bends over and picks up the papers. Buffet walks up, confused~
Jimmy Buffet: Ex wife?
~Dean answers while thumbing through the legal documents~
Dean: Never been married…
~He continues going through the papers as his expression sinks further and further. He reaches the last page…both arms fall limply to his side...as they do, Dean’s drink spills everywhere. Buffet grabs his empty glass and orders the bartender to fill it up again. He brings it back to Dean. Dean takes it and throws it back as if it were a shot~
Jimmy Buffet: Atta boy, now tell me what’s wrong
Dean: Gavin Reed’s investors…turns out it’s a Dallas based company we’ve all heard of…Match .com.