Second Round
LIVE! May 11th, 2020
~We cut to the intro video for Manifest Destiny 2~
~We cut to the crowd. That satisfying “ahhh” sounds...but no liquid this week. Instead, we cut straight to Hood and Smith~
Smith: Welcome to Manifest Destiny 2!
Hood: What? No creamy shower this week?
Smith: It appears as though the fountain has run dry.
Hood: As the famous Eddie Nero once said concerning a man’s load of jizz...you can run out.
Smith: While I’m not sure whether or not that’s scientifically correct...I can say that WE ARE BACK! It’s the second round! Are you excited?
Hood: Totes MahNotes.
Smith: Turrific...so let’s not waste any time with long winded intros nobody is going to read. Let’s get to the action!
Second Round
Lilith vs. Jason Chase
~Lilith is in the ring~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...welcome back to Manifest Destiny 2! The second round begins tonight! Already in the ring...she is a former OCW Tag Team Champion...she only has one name...and that name is...LILITH!
~Lilith swings her giant tits around~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~soft jazz plays as the sound of women moaning is heard over the speakers. The women in the audience cheer in delight as Chase makes his way to the ring. Women rush towards the aisle way and throw their panties at him as he dodges them . Once inside the ring he stands atop the top rope and flexes as the women and some men lose yell out admiration~
Belvedere: From Hollywood, California...standing 6’2 and weighing in at 215lbs...he is a former OCW LightWeight Champion...he is...Jason Chase!
~Chase spins around, facing Lilith. It is one part dramatic, one part charismatic, and a third part seductive. Lilith swoons. Belvedere exits the ring. Lilith is full on blushing. She giggles, approaching the confident, cock-sure Jason Chase~
Smith: And here we go! Second round action, Hood! The winner of this match will move in to the Final Four!
Hood: The hell’s with Lilith? She looks like she wants to swallow Chase’s cock...balls and all.
Smith: Jason Chase is appealing to women, Hood. This is something we all know. He is a pretty man.
Hood: Yea, but Lilith is a hardcore lesbian. I mean she is super hardcore. A very well developed lesbian.
Smith: Really? I’ve always found her character and, most notably Twilight’s, to be a bit shallow and contrived.
Hood: Oh, yea, very contrived. When I saw developed I’m talking about her giant tits.
~Lilith throws herself at Chase. Chase is like ‘calm down, woman.’ The bell rings. Lilith begs Chase to ravage her...have his way with her body. Chase looks around. Her GIANT TITS are pressed into his body. He is a connoisseur of GIANT TITS. He looks down into Lilith’s HUNGRY eyes~
Smith: Lilith doesn’t seem concerned with victory tonight, Hood.
Hood: Chase is turning that woman away from the snatch. Twilight is going to be pissed.
Smith: Speaking of Twilight. Rumors are she was less than thrilled with last week’s result. I heard she even blocked people on twitter.
Hood: I mean, blocking people on twitter is pretty hardcore. It sends a clear message that you’re a badass who is NOT to be fucked with.
~Chase coaxes Lilith onto the mat. Lilith can hardly contain her excitement...as well as her GIANT TITS. She lays down on the mat. Chase grabs both of her shoulders, rubbing them with care...he then presses them into the mat and looks at Scruff. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...JASON CHASE!!!!!
Smith: Chase pinned Lilith!
Hood: Well, looks like she got what she wanted.
Smith: What a sad way for her career in OCW to end. Say what you want about Lilith -
Hood: And her GIANT TITS
Smith: But she IS talented. If she could just create something of an independent thought process, she probably be a main event player. Oh well, wasn’t meant to be!
Hood: Hey. Lilith and her GIANT TITS loves Twilight. They spend 2 hours every hour inside of sex shops purchasing toys. It’s a very complex, deep, and not-contrived-in-any-way lifestyle. She also has teddy bears. Oh, and GIANT TITS.
Smith: Right.
~Chase looks down at Lilith, laughing. He’s expecting outrage and sharp finger nails from the woman with GIANT TITS. Instead, Lilith goes after him...she desires MORE. Chase is like “Oh man this woman is fuckin cock starved.” He flies through the ropes. Lilith gives chase...chasing...uhh...CHASE up the steps. Her GIANT TITS flop around underneath her shirt that says “I’m a LESBIAN!!!” They disappear behind the curtain~
Smith: Jason Chase is moving on! He’ll face the winner of tonight’s main event...Chelsea LeClair against Duce Jones. That match is coming up shortly.
Hood: Bruh.
Smith: Yuh?
Hood: Is this going to be the SHORTEST OCW show ever?
Smith: We’ve had some pretty short shows in the past but...yes, I think this may be the shortest.
Hood: Ah man, that means I can still make it to my favorite bar...err...restaurant to practice some social distancing when we’re through!
Smith: Enter at your own risk, Hood. I will be confined inside my apartment watching Kim’s Convenience.
Hood: Kim’s Convenience? Is that some shitty Lifetime movie?
Smith: No, it’s a twenty plus minute sitcom about a Korean family who run a convenience store. It’s really well done and an easy watch.
Hood: Well, I’m sure they appreciate the plug.
Smith: Speaking of plugs…
Hood: Please don’t reference some kind of weird lesbian toy.
Smith: NEAUX. Speaking of plugs...let’s head backstage to JOCK REASONING who has some things to say.
Hood: How is that a plug?
Smith: It’s Monday. I’m tired. JUST GO WITH IT
~We cut backstage to JOCK REASONING. He’s looking very JOCKY this evening. A man that isn’t about to be reasoned with. Jock clears his throat~
Jock Reasoning: I don’t really know what to say about that last match other than...Classic OCW, baby?? Regardless, Jason Chase is moving on. His star continues to rise. Who will be his final four opponent? Duce Jones? Chelsea LeClair? We’ll find out, shortly! In the meantime, I have some business I must address.
~The crowd inside the OCW Arena begins to sing “OHHH IT’S BUSINESS SERIOUS BUSINESS.” Jock nods~
Jock Reasoning: Last week OCW experienced some very unprofessional behavior. Now, while this may not sound like such a big deal to most of you OCW heads…
~The camera finds one retard with the letters “OCW” written on his FIVEHEAD. The rest of the fans are like “OCW heads? WTF.” The name is super contrived and not at all witty~
Jock Reasoning: But there’s a new regime around here. A regime that is determined to take the dirty image of OCW and freshen it up. Bestow integrity and prestige to this once great federation. So, errors made in flippant fashion cannot be tolerated. I’m just sorry to say that the culprit behind the issue at hand is one of OCW’s most respected employees.
Smith: Who is getting fired now? It was The Knife Man last week…
Hood: Jock says the guy is respected. I suddenly feel super safe.
Smith: That makes one of us.
Jock Reasoning: Belvedere. I’m talking to you.
~The crowd gasps. A woman screams. Babies cry~
Jock Reasoning: Last week you mentioned the winner of Andrew Logan and Roach would face The Incredible One when, in fact, that was false. The brackets, which have never been revealed, clearly show that the winner of Vargas and Sarah Twilight was set to face TIO. This is an error that, I’m afraid, cannot be forgiven.
~Belvedere looks on. The man is as stoic as ever. A TRUE PRO...even when the ax seems ready to fall~
Jock Reasoning: Due to your inability to get a simple yet crucial fact correct I’m afraid we are terminating you immediately. Why didn’t we do this before the opening match, you ask? Well, that’s a good question. So, pack your bags, Belvedere because your time here is finished.
~Belvedere stands. He holds his head high...he’s a man of pride and inner light. Nothing is going to dim this man’s attitude. He confidently strides up the ramp, behind the curtain. Fans remove lighters from their pockets and hold them high in the air...a vigil for the fallen commentator~
Jock Reasoning: Fans, I’m sorry. But it had to be done. We have to install some discipline around here. The inability to follow simple instruction WILL NOT be tolerated.
~The fans begin singing Elton John’s HIT SONG “Candle in the Wind.” Jock cuts the mic picking up the crowd noise~
Jock Reasoning: Sorry, but we will NOT listen to songs that pay respect to a lackadaisical, slipshod former employee. Especially one sang by BRITISH SCUM. Even if I do totally respect the LGBTQ community. Anyway...allow me to introduce Belvedere’s replacement...ladies and gentlemen...our NEW ring announcer…
~The National Anthem begins to play. The American flag drops from the ceiling...out from the back steps CAP SLOCK! He marches toward the ring with all the panache of a man about to murder some foreigners. He slides into the ring and grabs the mic. The fans, still saddened over Belvedere’s departure, do not cheer for CAP SLOCK...even if they have nothing against the man~
Jock Reasoning: Congratulations Captain Roderick J Slock on your promotion. You are a pedantic man of integrity...just what we’re looking for around here. You will no doubt serve your owner well. Now, back to the show!
~CAP SLOCK seeks a mic. A stage hand is about to hand it over...before doing so, he smartly lowers the volume a few notches~
Smith: I cannot believe he just fired Belvedere! That man has worked here since 2014 and has always been on time and never embarrassed the company…
Hood: Well, until last week.
Smith: Hood, you know as well as I do that in the grand scheme of things that error was minuscule.
Hood: Minuscule or not, turns out it was enough. Don’t give people a reason to fire you and you won’t get fired.
Smith: It’s just sad. If Belvedere isn’t safe...who is? We could all be on the chopping block with these new owners running the place.
Hood: I think it’s just one guy. BUT I could be wrong. It could be a great council of elder-men deciding the fates of all wrestlers.
Smith: I seriously doubt that. Anyway, it’s time for our main event! Let’s head down to ringside!
Second Round
Chelsea LeClair vs. Duce Jones
cap slock: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT IS NOW TIME FOR OUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A SINGLES MATCH SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL AND THE WINNER WILL GO ON TO FACE JASON CHASE IN TWO WEEKS! INTRODUCING FIRST…
~"Chelsea" by STEFY hits and the fans appear to cheer as Chelsea LeClair walks through the curtains, poised, confident and determined to make things happen in this match as she begins to walk down the aisle. She soaks in some apparent cheers a bit as she gets to ringside and at this point, she's all business as she slides into the ring. Soaking things in a bit more, she climbs up the corner to the second rope with a smile, a fist raised in the air and a quick point to the crowd before she hops back down to the corner, leans against it and waits for the match to begin~
cap slock: FROM OCEAN CITY, NEW JERSEY...STANDING 5’6 AND WEIGHING IN AT 128 LBS...SHE IS THE CURRENT OCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION...LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...SHE IS CHELSEA LECLAIR!!
Smith Chelsea is quickly becoming a favorite to win this tournament.
Hood: She’s still full of herself, Smith. Look at her soaking in these pretend cheers.
Smith: Uh, no, these fans really ARE cheering her.
Hood: I can’t hear anything and I’m wearing headphones, listening to the broadcast.
Smith: What? Why? You’re listening to us talk WHILE talking?
Hood: Yes.
Smith: Weird. To answer your question, I’m assuming they’ve yet to turn the crowd mic back on.
Hood: Nah man, I think she just isn’t very pop- AHHH!
~The crowd mic is suddenly switched on. The noise knocks Hood out of his chair~
cap slock: AND HER OPPONENT
~The fans are buzzing (we know this because the crowd mic is BACK ON), but soon turn to a mixed reaction as a voice begins to speak through the PA system~
~The opening sounds of “Godspeed” by Don Trip begins to play as the lights inside of the arena turn a crimson hue color, soon the stage filling up with smoke. After about a minute of waiting, Duce Jones slowly emerge through the fog, mixed emotions coming from the crowd~
cap slock: MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED FIFTEEN POUNDS! FROM MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE...DUCE JONES!!!
~Slowly making his way towards the ring, Jones ignores the cheers and jeers that the fans are giving, as he soon makes it to ringside. Climbing onto the apron, Duce goes to the corner to his right, climbing onto the second rope and peering out into the crowd. Finally done, he jumps over the top rope, landing inside of the ring and removes his hooded vest as he prepares for action~
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: But the bell hasn’t rang!
~The bell rings~
Smith: AND HERE WE GO
Hood: Easy Captain Cock
Smith: It’s Captain Slock!
~Duce doesn’t waste any time. He charges at Chelsea, throwing a D-TRIGGA. Chelsea dodges the near fatal (NOT LITERALLY) blow. Duce’s momentum takes him into a corner. He stops short of slamming into the buckles. Chelsea throws a high kick into Duce’s kidney. Duce winces. Chelsea leaps up and hooks Duce’s head...she’s looking for something resembling a Zig Zag...Duce, however, manages to bend down, secure leverage and hoist Chelsea onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He turns around, further securing his grasp...he stares at the center of the ring. He’s preparing for a Death Valley Driver. He tosses Chelea over...she, however, manages to rotate over, grab Duce’s head and hits a STUNNER! Duce stumbles back into the ropes. LeClair is quick to her feet...she charges forward and smacks Duce in the chin with a dropkick! Duce flips over the top rope to the floor. The fans are on their feet, cheering the OCW Women’s Champion~
Smith: Duce tried to start fast but it’s LeClair with the early advantage.
Hood: For a woman she sure does seem to have an okay amount of patience.
Smith: For a woman? That’s rather sexist.
Hood: Just because it’s sexist doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Smith: I’ve found women to be extremely patient.
Hood: Easy to say when you don’t spend much time around any.
~Chelsea contemplates flying outside. Duce backs away, making the jump far more treacherous. So, LeClair remains inside the ring. A fan pats Duce on the back. Duce gives him a fist bump...the fan is wearing a ‘DA LINK’ shirt. NICE CALL BACK. Duce begins to pace around the ring, keeping a watch on Chelsea. Scruff yells “ONE!” Duce heads up the steps...he pauses on the top step, with a foot on the apron. He motions for Chelsea to give him some room. She does...he steps through the ropes. LeClair charges forward with a front kick...but Duce catches her leg! He’s no idiot. He steps into the ring, holding Chelsea’s leg. She throws an enziguri...but Duce ducks...he grabs both her legs, holding her in the wheel barrow position. Chelsea tries to roll forward...but Jones is too strong. He tosses her up and catches her on the way down in a Full Nelson. He proceeds to SLAM her into the mat with a FULL NELSON SLAM. Fans in the arena yell ‘MARIO!’ LeClair rolls over...Duce grabs her head, securing a chin lock~
Smith: These fans obviously remember Mario Maurako and his Full Nelson Slam.
Hood: No shit. The guy wrestled here less than a year ago. You act like he’s King Arthur or something.
Smith: King Arthur wasn’t real, you know.
Hood: Clive Owen played him in a movie that featured a tremendous Hans Zimmer score. So, in my mind, King Arthur is a real as gonorrhea
~Chelsea scrambles, getting her feet around the bottom rope. Scruff orders a break. Duce releases the grip right before the five count. He grabs LeClair by the hair and stands. He drags Chelsea toward the center of the ring. He appears to be looking for a powerbomb. Chelsea wraps her arms around his leg. Duce tries to shake her off. LeClair pops to her feet and tosses Duce to the mat with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip! Duce yells out, holding his knee in pain. Chelsea scrambles forward, grabbing Duce’s medically repaired shoulder. She applies an armbar...it’s DEEP~
Smith: Great reversal by LeClair. But this armbar...I’m not sure how it’s going to work.
Hood: Yea, that funky shoulder didn’t do Zybala any favors.
Smith: Nope...if you ignore the entire ‘lighting’ situation. Then you’d probably say the shoulder was the major factor in Duce’s victory OVER Zybala.
Hood: What lighting situation? You act like there’s a conspiracy.
Smith: I’m thinking there is a conspiracy going around here and I aim to do something about it. I’m going to get to the bottom of it.
Hood: Easy there, pal.
~Duce’s shoulder starts to bend and twist at an unnatural angle. Chelsea is confused. Given the laws of WRESTLING PHYSICS...his shoulder should be shattered. Instead, he manages to slip free! LeClair, on one knee, looks at her hands like “the hell just happened?” Duce, on his feet, lunges forward with a D-TRIGGA! Chelsea goes stiff, falling backward. Duce hops on top for a cover. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Chelsea avoided defeat after suffering the D-Trigga!
Hood: That fuckin shoulder, man. It’s his secret weapon!
Smith: It has certainly been the source of issue for both of Duce’s Manifest Destiny opponents.
~Jones pops back to his feet. He can FEEL the momentum on his side. The man is a champion within the squared circle...he knows when victory is near. He gets in a modified three point stance...his right fist is ready. LeClair struggles to her feet. That D-Trigga was ON THE MARK. Her back is to Duce. She slowly spins around...Duce charges forward with a Superman Punch...but LeClair dodges the blow!!! Duce stumbles forward. LeClair hits the ropes...she bounces off, leaps into the air and drives Duce face down with a bulldog!! Jones pops back to his feet...although he’s on DREAM STREET (NOT ELM STREET, hopefully)...LeClair, back to her feet, boots Duce in the gut. She grabs his head...kicks off the ropes, spins around and spikes him with a Tornado DDT! Duce is down! LeClair goes for the cover~
1!
2!
KICK OUT
Smith: Wow! What a sequence by LeClair. BUT...it wasn’t enough to keep Duce down.
Hood: Andrea would have got the win there.
Smith: STOP comparing her to Andrea.
Hood: Who should I compare her too, then? Melinda Rhodes.
Smith: Okay, compare her to Andrea.
~LeClair is back on her feet. Duce his holding his head, wondering what the heck just happened. Chelsea crouches down, keeping an eye on Duce...she’s ready to pounce once he’s in position. Duce rises. He doubles over, holding his head. LeClair charges forward and throws a LOUD kick into his chest! Duce straightens up and stumbles into a corner. He’s gasping for air. LeClair backs up and charges forward...she flies through the air delivering a HUGE splash. She holds onto the ropes and stands upright...she starts to punch Duce in the head. The fans are counting along. Duce fights through the scrambled equilibrium...he grabs her legs, runs forward and SLAMS Chelsea into the mat with an ALABAMA SLAM. The move does not reek of incest. Duce rolls over, staring into the lights. Chelsea is on her back, eyes shut. The fans stomp their feet and chant for both stars...whichever they prefer at that given moment~
Smith: And they are both down! Great power, drive, and explosiveness shown by Duce Jones.
Hood: Money is on the line here, Smith. The loser will have to file for unemployment and hope the government sends them a check so they can pay their rent.
Smith: I doubt its THAT dire.
Hood: Oh, it is, believe you me.
~Duce moves first. Just like Han. Or was it the other guy? Anyway...Duce moves first. He reaches his feet. LeClair sits up. Duce throws a kick...Chelsea rolls out of the way. Duce spins around...Chelsea rolls him up but Duce kicks out before the count of one. They both pop to their feet. Chelsea grabs Duce’s repaired shoulder and jumps up placing both knees into it. She falls back with a Codebreaker onto Duce’s shoulder. But, he feels nothing. He no sells the fuck out of it. LeClair looks up, stunned. Duce leaps into the air and comes down with a splash – ass first! It flattens Chelsea out~
Smith: That shoulder once again coming into play! Perhaps we should have someone look at it...is it fair for him to compete with a shoulder like that?
Hood: Well, I guess that would be an option if they hadn’t fired The Knife Man. By the way...do we even have a replacement?
Smith: Not that I’m aware of.
Hood: I swear if they introduce the FORK MAN I’m going to get out of here before Pixar files a lawsuit.
~Jones foregoes attempting a pin. A true champion knows when a pin is a waste of time. Instead, he stomps on Chelsea...right in her abdomen. This forces her to sit up. He snares her by the hair and yanks her off the mat, onto his shoulders for the second time this evening. He doesn’t waste any time in spinning her around into a single knee facebuster (Final Tic 2.0)!!! LeClair goes down, hard!! Duce makes the cover. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP
Smith: LeClair stays alive!
Hood: Ah-ah-ah-ah...STAYIN ALIVE
Smith: I didn’t know you were a BeeGees fan.
Hood: I’m not. But Wyclef Jean is pretty-okay.
~Duce looks up at Scruff...he slaps his hands together three times, showing a hint of agitation. Scruff gives Duce the two fingers. The fans chant “DEUCE!” It’s a meta moment. Chelsea struggles to get to her feet. Duce responds by popping up. He grabs both of LeClair’s arms and delivers a vicious ripcord headbutt! Chelsea is stunned. Duce throws a knee...but LeClair dodges the knee...she ducks, hooks Duce and drops him with a rock bottom!! Duce is down! Chelsea is down. Her arms is over his chest. Scruff slides in~
1!
KICK OUT
Smith: Not close to a three.
Hood: I don’t think she intended to pin him but when you pass out on someone…
Smith: She didn’t pass out. That headbutt clearly stunned her.
Hood: So you’re saying she didn’t pound a bottle of whiskey backstage prior to the match and it’s just now hitting her?
Smith: Those days are behind her, Hood. She’s taking a far more serious approach and it’s paying dividends.
Hood: I’m glad SOMETHING is paying dividends these days. Market sucks.
~Duce shoves LeClair off him. He sits up and holds the back of his neck. Chelsea pushes up to her knees. She throws a sharp elbow to the side, snagging Duce in the ear. Duce winces and falters to the side. LeClair returns to her feet...she jumps up and drives the bottom of her foot into the side of Duce’s head where the previous elbow landed. He falls to the mat yelling “FUCK” and grabbing his ear. LeClair grabs Duce’s head and slams it into the mat, repeatedly. She ceases only when Duce stops moving. She pops to her feet and looks toward the corner. The fans rise~
Smith: I think Chelsea is looking to hit CANCELLED!
Hood: Easy, Cap Slock!
Smith: That’s how it’s spelled, Hood. I’m simply doing my job.
~She hurries toward the corner and begins the climb. She reaches the top. But Duce nips up! The crowd pops! He runs forward and leaps onto the top rope, meeting LeClair. He hooks her for a SUPERPLEX. But...THE LIGHTS GO OUT~
Smith: What the?!
Hood: AHHH
~The come back on...Duce is stunned. Chelsea delivers a forearm uppercut followed by a knee. Duce falls off the top to the mat! Chelsea stands up and leaps off hitting CANCELLED!! She hooks both legs! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
cap slock: HERE IS YOUR WINNER...THE OCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION...CHELSEA LECLAIR!!!!!
~LeClair rises to her feet. Hand raised in triumph. The fans give her a standing ovation~
Smith: And Chelsea LeClair will go on to face Jason Chase in the final four of Manifest Destiny 2!
Hood: Wouldn’t it be awesome if a Native American won Manifest Destiny 2? Or would that be too ironic?
Smith: And THERE’s the first genocide related joke.
Hood: Hey, it was bound to happen.
Smith: Jason Chase won’t have a cake walk in the final four...his first real challenge of the tournament manifests itself in the form of the very talented, very skilled...suddenly focused Chelsea LeClair.
Hood: What’s next week?
Smith: More matches...Andrew Logan takes on Cheyenne Tabernacke while The Incredible One renews one of his greatest rivalries against Chad Vargas.
Hood: Well, my tits are hard.
Smith: Your…
Hood: GIANT TITS? Nah, my man tits. And, well, to be more specific it’s the nips, not the tits. The tits would be weird.
Smith: Indeed...well that’s all we have for tonight, folks. Until next time I’m Smith saying so long!
Hood: AND I’M HOOD
~We fade out~