LIVE! May 16th 2022
FROM El Hadj Hassan Gouled Aptidon Stadium
So Juicy, this Djibouti
~We open directly backstage where employees scatter as sounds of violence echo throughout the backstage area~
Jones: Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, everyone! Sorry for the abruptness of this introduction, but it seems the action is underway as a brawl is underway backstage!
Hood: Tensions running high. No leadership. Anarchy is the name of the game in OCW these days.
Jones: That it is.
~A door, shut, trembles and shakes. It finally bursts open as a body comes flying out, across a hallway and into a wall. Cap Slock and Leo do their best to keep the other, nameless employess out of the way. The shiny body of Renee McRae slams into the wall, dropping to the floor. The door tries to shut, but a giant leg kicks it back open as Mike Mason struts out, pissed off and looking like he’s ready to maim~
Jones: It’s Mike Mason! He’s accosting Renee McRae!
Hood: Guess he couldn’t wait for their turn inside the ring.
Jones: Mason had a breakthrough win last week against Alexandra Calaway and, this week, he’s looking to extend that win into a streak.
Hood: Well, ya know, early bird gets the worm or whatever. Looks like he’s about to feast.
~Cap Slock yells out, “TAKE IT TO THE RING, MECCA OF MUSCLE!” Mason flexes his bicep before snaring Renee and hoisting him up, over his head in a gorilla press. McRae’s body nearly touches the ceiling. Mason walks aorund, staring down the employees, pressing Renee over his head before launching him at Cap Slock and the nameless employees behind him. They call crash to the floor, easing Renee’s fall. McRae, on all fours, tries to get to his feet but SMACK! He’s crushed by a big boot to the side of the face, sending him to the floor~
Jones: I like Cap Slock, everybody likes Cap Slock, but he isn’t exactly a point of authority.
Hood: Big Linkin Park fan?
Jones: I mean, sure. Crawlin is probably my favorite.
Hood: You would like that song.
~Mason rips McRae off the floor and slings him at Leo and the group of people behind him. They tumble down. Mike marches over there, bitching about being left off Big Game Hunting. He pulls Renee up, lifts him off the ground and CRACK! He slams him into the concrete floor with a SPINEBUSTER!!! The back of McRae’s head sounds like it shatters against the concrete floor~
Jones: It seems Mason is frustrated over the lack of ‘muscle’ on this month’s Pay Per View card.
Hood: To be fair, any show without Mason is lacking in the muscle department.
Jones: I like Mason and think he can be a major player in OCW but he’s only 1-2.
Hood: I’m gonna tell him you said that.
Jones: Please don’t!
~Mason rips McRae off the floor, a spot of blood rests underneath his head. He spins him around and locks in a Full Nelson, tossing and shaking McRae left and right as violently as possible. The muscles in his shoulders and neck being ripped apart. Leo returns to his feet and looks behind Mason at Cap Slock, who is also standing. They know they’ve got to stop this...it’s one thing when a nameless employee dies...but an employee with an actual name? That’s bad for business. This ain’t no murderhaus. Leo takes off~
Jones: Leo is going to get help, finally!
Hood: Would things really be worse off if Renee McRae died?
Jones: Hood! Show some compassion.
Hood: Not for a guy who wears so much lotion that if he went down a water slide he’d fly halfway across the country.
Jones: Would save on air travel.
Hood: True.
~Leo returns with Puff. Puff sees McRae being torn apart and covers his mouth, “GREAT GOOGLY MOGGLY!” Mason furrows his brow at the corpulent referee. He slings McRae into the wall. McRae SMACKS into the wall before spinning around and staggering toward Mason...Mason hoists him up and PLANTS him into the ground with Simply Marvelous (Sky High)!!!! Cap Slock yells ‘COUNT!’ Puff drops to his knees and slaps the floor~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~Mason stands...Cap Slock and several other employees drag McRae away from him. Puff is back on his feet, looking up at the Mecca of Muscle~
Jones: I’m told that is an official count. Mike Mason has defeated Renee McRae.
Hood: The battle of alliteration goes to the Ms
~Mason sneers with digust at the gluttonous OCW referee. He eyes Cap Slock. He looks at Leo. He then stares at the camera and says, “I’ll be at Big Game Hunting.” He shoulders into the camera, knocking it out of the way, sending the cameraman falling to the floor. We instantly cut to the ring where the fans of Djibouti fill up the field OCW has been calling home all month...we settle on Jones and Hood~
Jones: Mike Mason making his intentions known. He doesn’t like being left off the card and he’s determined to work his way into Big Game Hunting – somehow.
Hood: Yes and because we have no leadership or real authority, he was able to just assault a dude backstage and get rewarded with a win.
Jones: Marcus Welsh continues to have his brain cleansed by The Knife Man and Machete Phil. This has left us without any clear direction or authority. So, things have been...well, a little unpredictable.
Hood: A little? This place is a madhouse! I wouldn’t be surprised if Duce doesn’t somehow beat Plethora and he’s given the OCW Title because we ‘forgot’ it was a non-title match.
Jones: Well, I don’t think that will happen, but who knows. A lot has gone down lately I never thought I’d see.
Hood: Including you becoming the new play by play man for OCW.
Jones: Yes. Fans, we’ve got another action packed lineup for you all tonight...CYPH3R, fresh off his break through win is back in action. Sadie Ko looks to bounce back after her shocking defeat one week ago.
Hood: Got some tag teams or whatever.
Jones: The Machine Cult, impressive in their debuts last week look to make it two in a row. Meanwhile, don’t adjust your eyes...but BAM G is close to becoming the #1 contenders to the Tag Titles...at least, according to the rankings page.
Hood: The end times are near.
Jones: Alexandra looks to get back to the winner’s circle as she faces Tony the Spider for, some reason.
Hood: Some backstage beef, I’m sure.
Jones: And, in a match that would normally headline any Massacre...we’ve got Mike Zybala taking on CJ O’Donnell.
Hood: These dudes have known each other FOREVER...but have they faced?
Jones: Not in OCW, so in that regard, it’s a first! And, in our main event, Plethora, the OCW Champion, looks to get some measure of revenge for the attack two weeks ago as he faces the returning Duce Jones!
Hood: Duce is a multi-time World Champion and more than capable of handing Plethora a loss before Big Game Hunting.
Jones: Plethora’s hubris nearly cost him the OCW Title against Alice two weeks ago. Will it be his downfall later tonight against Duce? The OCW Champion is as arrogant as ever and primed to get knocked on his ass.
Hood: I mean, I’d say yes...but it’s Plethora. The guy’s always been arrogant and he always wins. Why should shit change now?
Jones: Fans, it’s Monday Night Massacre and we’re off and rolling right here LIVE...straight outta Djibouti!!
~We cut backstage to where we find ‘Bruce’ aka ‘Bat-bear’ in his cage. He stares into the camera (well not really, he’s chewing down on meat and the camera is being manipulated into making it seem like he’s staring into it). A voice comes through. Is Bat-Bear talking?! Holy shit. No. No, he’s not. He’s a bear. It is the voice of Equality GM and Outsiders World Champion, Lord Allton~
Allton: Sadie Ko… this Monday on Massacre you face Bat-bear. The hero that we all need but definitely not the one any of us deserve. I hope you are ready for Bruce because I have ensured that he is ready for you. If he can withstand SuMa, he most certainly can withstand any beating that you put on him.
~Suddenly the screen fizzles to where we open to a city. We open on a rooftop where we find Bat-Bear standing, again chewing on meat. Down below we find a woman screaming for help as she is having her bag stolen by a mugger. The screen fizzles again to street level. And a low but still audible growl is heard. The growl puts both the woman and the mugger on edge. Slowly but surely, out of the shadows creeps Bat-Bear~
Woman: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Please don’t hurt me!
Mugger: Hey! Hey, man. What are you supposed to be?!
~Bat-Bear doesn’t answer. (Of course he doesn’t, he’s a bear). Without warning, he bounds after the mugger. The mugger, scared to hell, drops the woman’s bag~
Mugger: Hey, hey lady. Yo, I’m sorry yeah? Have your bag.
~The mugger runs off into the night with Bat-Bear chasing after him. The screen then fizzles back and we’re back in Djibouti, with Bruce still in his cage. The voice of Allton comes over again~
Allton: Sadie Ko…. He is hungry. He eats meat. HE IS Bat-Bear!
~We cut away~
~Cut to: An unfinished wooden house-like structure in the middle of nowhere. Hammering can be heard in the distance. We enter inside the door beneath the handmade "MAN CAVE" sign and look around. A couch, made out of wood. A minifridge, made out of wood. A big screen TV… you guessed it. Made out of wood. Two stick figures and a basketball are carved into it, along with the word "Playoffs"~
~We take a closer look at the craftsmanship that went into all of this. It's… homemade. That's for sure. Whoever is putting in this work has poured a lot into it…~
"Blood."
~We see a closeup of the hands putting this all together. A bloody bandage covers one thumb~
"Sweat."
~A closeup of the man's forehead. Beads of sweat rolling down~
"Tears."
~A man, weeping. "I miss my family!"~
~The camera pulls back to reveal "Dadbod" David Barker. He seems startled at the sight of the camera. Dadbod lowers the hammer in his hand and takes a break from assembling the pool table, quickly wiping away one last tear~
Dadbod: Oh, hello there. What do you think, pretty cool huh? Twice the size of the one at home! We got it all too. Recliner.
~He places his hand on the back of a bulky chair that abruptly tips backwards~
Dadbod: Pinball.
~Dadbod retrieves a marble from his pocket and rolls it up a slanted board. It gets stuck and never returns~
Dadbod: Oh, sports! Wanna watch the game? Have a beer?
~Dadbod opens the refrigerator and produces a cylindrical stump with red paint splashed on it. He underhands it to the cameraman who let's it fall to the ground~
Dadbod: Good call, don't drink on the job! Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering.. What is this guy doing here? That's a fair question. Well, two things really. One, taking a much deserved vacation. Not my first choice for location, but hey, lots of sun! And two, taking care of a little business. That's what men do while on vacation, right?
~Dadbod takes the last sip from his water bottle. You can tell, the heat is getting to him~
Dadbod: You see, the last time you saw me, I was defeating Bob Grenier and saving Mike Zybala's career! His words, not mine. I've spent the last several weeks wondering what that meant for my career, but I've finally got an answer. I've been informed that I've earned the right to face somebody in a match to be named the #1 contender for the Savage title! Who you ask? Well, anyone.
~Dad shrugs and takes another sip. Nothing but air~
Dadbod: This is an open challenge! To anyone and everyone that wants to find their way onto this card. And the best part?
~Dadbod extends his arms to his sides and looks around, grinning from ear to ear. He takes in a deep breath, closes his eyes, and exhales~
Dadbod: It's all going down right here! The Man Cave. Equal parts vacation getaway, bro zone, and battlefield. So if you want a shot to do something different… Something savage!.. You know where to find me…
~Dadbod raises his hammer for a cool, no look smack of a nail to close the show. He smashes his healthy thumb~
Dadbod: OW! SON OF A B-
*Cut*
Jones: Dadbod is back!
Hood: Hooray?
Jones: We last saw the charismatic Dadbod when he defeated Bob Grenier at Luck of the Violent to save Mike Zybala. That win has, evidently, earned him his own invitiational at Big Game Hunting. A Do It Yourself match where any wrestlers brave enough will enter Dadbod’s self-built mancave for a fight. The winner walks out with a Savage Championship Match!
Hood: That’s a mouthful...which reminds me, I wonder if there will be cheese balls at this thing. A mouth full of cheese balls is always a must while chilling in a bachelor pad.
Jones: Gonna just skip over the fact you said you like a mouth full of balls and say that anyone with a pass into OCW’s backstage area can enter and compete in this Invitation. Simply drop a promo for the match and you’ll be entered!
Hood: Minimal effort for near maximum reward.
Jones: Big Game Hunting is two weeks away and it will be kicked off by the Dadbod DIY Bachelor Pad Invitational! I can’t wait!
~ The camera fades backstage as you see Calaway, Knight and O’Donnell in the hallway having what seems to be a heated discussion. ~
Alexandra Calaway: … yeah but where exactly were you guys when I was getting my skull busted open? No, I didn’t see either of you out there when that happened. You left me to the mercy of Dangerous Dan. Your issues with Cypher aside, I would like to believe that you’d be there for me.
CJ O’Donnell: We were taking care of Paramount business. Trying to cement ourselves as a major threat in OCW. Why else do you think we kidnapped Uber Man. It wasn’t so Alice could rekindle old flames.
~ Alexandra looks over at Alice holding her hand up for a moment.~
Alexandra Calaway: I’m sorry to cut you off Alice. Look, I get needing to cement ourselves as a formidable team, but we can’t do that when we aren’t looking out for each other.
Alice Knight:Yeah. Listen Alexandra. We’re a unit. As they said in the classic tale. “One for all and one for everyone of us.” Three Musketeers, the Kiefer Sutherland movie. But seriously. Uber Man is trying to mess with me for personal reasons. It’s a long story… well… we did hand stuff when we dated and I broke his heart. He needed to get his for screwing me out of the OCW Championship. I am SO sorry we were not there to back you up. Truely am. But we are still a team. As they said in the Three Musketeers movie, with Jack Bauer, Life hands you situations… we as a unit we… ok. I forgot the movie. Never seen it. But I'm trying to say we're here for you. And Cypher… just isn't one of us. He is using you. Using everyone he has contact with.
Alexandra Calaway: We really need to communicate better or this will never work. Yes I’m working with Cypher.. You two are single’s competitors and with Storm gone.. I needed to have a tag team partner. Yes, I should have said something, but for now, this is the impasse we have come to. I need something too, I can’t sit around on idle being the only member not gunning for a title. Cypher is talented, your hatred for him aside, he will make a great tag team partner.
CJ O’Donnell: I’ll admit it, we all need to communicate better, even myself. Calaway I didn’t know how close you and Cypher really got. I don’t trust him. He seems like a leech. Knight, you didn’t tell either of us that you were facing Thomas at Big Game Hunting. I didn’t tell either of you I had the Golden Phone in my possession
Alice Knight: Yeeeeeah.? You tell me most of everything, babe. ‘Hey Alice, you’re acting silly. Or, hey Alice, that’s my underwear you’re wearing… or or or… my favorite. Hey Alice, did you steal my last extra chunky chocolate chip cookie? OF COURSE I STOLE IT! But you won’t tell me… or Alexandra that you have the most important item in the OCW world right now? The GOLDEN phone? Babe… babe… babe…?
CJ O’Donnell: Honestly it was to protect you both. Nobody knows who is on the other end of the phone. It could be anyone. I didn’t know if they were going to come into Djibouti guns blazing. And before you jump to conclusions that doesn’t mean neither of you can’t handle yourself. In a week's time together we have become the talk of OCW. So from this point on the bickering stops. The going behind each other’s back stops. We communicate. We talk things out. We think as one. That’s how we will reach the pinnacle of OCW!
~ Alice and Alexandra both nod in agreement with CJ's last statement. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Tonight we all get back on the winning track. We will not leave Djibouti like we did last week. Alexandra you will defeat that Tony fella. I will take care of the Power Ranger Zybala. And Alice …
~CJ looks at Alice who bats her eyelashes at him. ~
CJ O’Donnell: You do you. Be yourself. Distract anyone who you think may be a threat. We have this power and it is time we use it to our advantage.
~ Camera cuts to the announcers as Knight, Calaway and O’Donnell seem to have squashed their beef~
Sadie Ko (8-1) vs. Batbear (0-2)
~In the ring, Batbear is performing tricks courtesy of his handler, as the Djibouti audience watches avidly. Seeing such a large animal perform on command is exciting and a little frightening, but it's obvious that the creature is tame. Perfectly safe. On command he's doing flips and rolling around the ring in a cute manner. And even manages to lock its trainer into a collar and elbow, even executing a snapmare that earns laughter and applause from the people of Djibouti~
Jones: Batbear taking a moment to cease his crime fighting ways so he can entertain this crowd.
Hood: Man, they got lions and tigers and giraffes out here and they are actually interested in a fuckin bear?
Jones: Hey, we like the exotic. What’s normal to us is exotic to them.
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
~The trainer is rewarding Batbear with an ice-cold Coca Cola, and the bear is sat in the middle of the ring drinking its treat, when the overhead lights start to flicker and die like a spasming nerve. Every human in the ring looks up instinctively, their breath coming out as a cold fog, even as the bear seems oblivious. Until suddenly it drops the bottle, and is instantly alert, sniffing the air and growling. Is that aggression? Or is it nervousness?~
Jones: Uh oh...things have taken a turn into the realm of the supernatural.
Hood: Some might argue a bear enjoying an ice cold coca cola inside a wrestling ring WAS supernatural.
Jones: You know what I mean!
~The lights go completely out, occasionally strobing to life as in the ring, there is a long, thin shadow of a figure upon the canvas. It looks like a tree in the wind, with long branches that resemble fingers, except there is no such tree anywhere near this arena. The lights stop strobing, and now the entire arena is in pitch darkness. Then the lights fade back to life, and there, in the corner of the ring, is Sadie Ko with her arms hanging down, her hair in front of her face. Batbear sees this, and immediately stands up on his hind legs. His eyes are wide in surprise, and he is smelling and sniffing toward that turnbuckle. Whatever it is he smells...he doesn't seem to like it~
Jones: Batbear is trying to sniff flesh...the savory smell that triggers his salivation machinations.
Hood: The fuck? Just call it the dinner bell aroma...fuckin hell.
Jones: Instead, he’s getting a creepy, paranormal aroma that’s sending his hairs standing on end!
~His trainer seems to sense something is wrong, because he reaches up to try and grab Batbear's collar. Instead, instantly the beast starts roaring and almost shrieking, turning and immediately trying to run out of the ring. The trainer puts his hand on the bear's shoulder, and gets mauled viciously for his trouble, now bleeding across his face as he goes flying. The referee (PUFF), a human man in the ring with a now wild animal, flinches and doesn't jump in, allowing Batbear to run out of the ring, undoing the ropes and turnbuckles in the process and causing them all to go rather flat. Sadie is still standing there, watching, as the beast runs in the opposite direction of her, inadvertently running towards the audience who are now screaming and trying to run and stampede away from the charging animal~
Jones: Batbera is lose!
Hood: Fuck, more anarchy!
Jones: Whoever thought it was wise to put a bear inside a ring with a ghost should, well, never book again.
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!!
~The interesting thing is, Batbear isn't directly attacking anyone, instead he is barreling into a dozen or so people, in his attempt to escape the figure in the ring. Except, she isn't in the ring. The next time Batbear turns his mighty head, he goes bug-eyed at the sight of Sadie standing in the crowd, the people all around her now screaming just like the bear, and just like him, are trying to scatter away from her. Batbear immediately growls and bears his teeth, swiping his paws at her aggressively even as he is backing away. And those swiping paws are a danger to everyone around him, which is why it's a relief when a security guard arrives with what looks like a hunting rifle. Taking aim, he shoots what looks like a metal dart right in the beast's neck, immediately doing an incredible job of calming the creature~
Jones: Thank goodness! Some semblance of control.
Hood: It’s official...bears love coca cola and they hate ghosts.
Jones: More like are deathly afraid of ghosts.
Hood: How can they even process what the fuck a ghost is? All they know is it’s wrong, very, very wrong.
~By the time guards actually approach the scene, Sadie, it seems, is nowhere to be found, gone and vanished. And although it's hard to notice in the moment, one of the abandoned steel chairs is also missing. But that's not anyone's concern, compared to the slumbering beast who can now be muzzled and subdued safely~
Jones: Sadie is gone...with a chair.
Hood: Potential payback to Tamika?
Jones: No idea...I’m just glad nobody aside from that trainer and, well, some ring equipment.
Hood: That trainer was a dick anyway, feeding his bear coca cola. What kinda diet is that, anyway?
Jones: I’m told there’s confusion backstage on how to score this so...we just gonna give Sadie a win, I think.
Hood: Dude, she won via psyche out...LITERALLY.
Jones: Sure. Sadie Ko remains a spectral force in OCW that only Easton has been able to semi-crack. Tamika’s gonna have to stare this entity down in two weeks at Big Game Hunting. Best of luck to her.
Hood: Yea, the Strader’s have faced everything in their careers...but Sadie is, I bet, unlike anything they’ve seen.
Jones: You’d have to imagine so. And, as for Batbear, hopefully Welsh will get his problems ironed out soon so Batbear can take a spot on that couch. He’s got a whole load of issues he needs to discuss.
Hood: For real
~Alexandra made her way towards CJ, seeing him up ahead, he was looking down at the phone as if deciding whether or not to make a call. Alexandra shook her head and took a deep breath tapping him on the back~
Hey CJ.. can I talk to you for a few moments?
Sure what’s up Alexandra?
~Alexandra looks nervous, checking over her shoulder occasionally, wondering if there’s something. CJ looks at Calaway and can see the look of concern in her eyes~
Look, I feel like some things about to go down.. And I know that this is crazy.. But something just feels.. Off.. can you do me a favor?
A war is coming I’m sure of it. What do you need from me?
Yes a war may be coming, but this person approached me earlier.. And it wasn’t Cypher.. But he was in a hoodie.. I need to be sure that my back is watched at all times.
A lot of people wear hoodies. I told you I got your back and am always watching. Nothing will happen to you outside of the ring. I won't allow it. Inside the ring I can’t make that promise. Sorry.
I don’t need you to watch my back in the ring. But I feel there’s something more coming and we need to be careful. I’ve got you and Alice’s back.
Whatever comes we will be ready to counter attack and send a message loud and clear. No one is going to fook with us.
Exactly.
~She nods and fist bumps CJ as the scene fades out~
CYPH3R (3-2) vs. The Dirtbag Kid (0-0)
~"What'Chu Lookin' At?" - by Uncle Kracker HITS! If this were twenty years ago, the fans might be singing along, dancing, popping for the recognizable lyrics. However, this is 2022 so this music is anachronistic as shit. Displaced from a forgotten time where, like its era, it should have remained – FORGOTTEN~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~DBK comes out to boos and genuine hatred, sticking his tongue out and doing the 'suckkkk it' motion, drinking Monster Energy Drink and disrespecting his way to the ring, wearing a medical mask around his throat in a way that won't actually help anybody~
Belvedere: From White Trash, USA...standing 5’8 and weighing in at 175lbs...he is The Dirtbag Kid!!!
~DBK rips his medical mask from around his neck and yells “I DON’T NEED NO CHIN DIAPER!!” He kicks it out of the ring to a chorus of boos. People in Africa are all too familiar with weird diseases. DBK does some kinda martial arts kick before flinging his hands all over the place like he’s a mix between Bruce Lee and a guy experiencing a seizure~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~"Fortune Days" by the Glitch Mob hits! The Superior Design makes his way from the back toward the ring. The crowd doesn’t cheer him...but they aren’t exactly booing him. The Dirtbag Kid is such a shitty person that they can’t boo the man that is going to, in all likelihood, beat the shit out of the menace pretending to karate inside the ring. CYPH3R reaches the ring and he hops onto the apron, slipping in through the ropes~
Belvedere: From Adelaide, ‘Australia’...standing 5’9 and weighing in at 225lbs...he is The Superior Design...he is...CYPH3R!!!!!
Jones: CYPH3R back in action after his HUGE, career defining win one week ago when he gave Veronica Strader her first OCW loss.
Hood: Massive win, for sure. But, like Mason, he’s not booked for Big Game Hunting.
Jones: Well, given there are some announcements to be had later in the evening, maybe CYPH3R can find his way onto the show.
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits~
Jones: And here we go! CYPH3R looking to extend his winning streak and meteoric rise up the OCW ranks.
Hood: Meanwhile, The Dirtbag Kid is eager to infect us all with a trip back to the late 90s...an era NOBODY remembers fondly.
Jones: Hey, the late 90s had some good stuff.
Hood: What, fuckin beanie babies? The spice girls? Bah!
~DBK looks at CYPH3R and laughs. He begins to brag about his dial up modem and AOL email account. He chides CYPH3R with the insult that he must ‘cruise yahoo chat rooms for babes’. CYPH3R looks at the guy like he’s an idiot. DBK stands back and warns, “Prepare for the SURGE.”~
Jones: I don’t know what the ‘Surge’ is.
Hood: I don’t really want to know.
Jones: You liked Surge in the late 90s though, right?
Hood: Fuck no. Still remember that shit being sold IN MOVIE THEATERS...geezus. Trying to convince people to stay quiet while also serving them liquid cocaine? Fuckin 90s.
~DBK throws a wild roundhouse kick...he loses his footing on his base and stumbles toward CYPH3R. CYPHER grabs DBK from behind and immediately tosses him over with a Tiger Suplex!!! DBK hits hard!! He rolls around, holding his head and neck. CYPHER is back on his feet, immediately~
Jones: Never throw a kick if you can’t keep your base.
Hood: Yea, kinda like trying to run while wasted.
Jones: Gonna fall and hurt yourself.
~DBK tries to get back up...he gets to one knee but CYPHER comes charging in with Download Complete (Kinshasa)!!!!! DBK nearly flies out of the ring! He’s hanging out over the bottom rope...CYPHER drags him back into the ring~
Jones: I think The Dirtbag Kid is unconscious.
Hood: Probably dreaming of Extreme Doritos and Mountain Dew.
~CYPHER yanks DBK off the mat and tosses him over his shoulders. He doesn’t waste much time posing...he tosses DBK up and plants a solid knee right into DBK’s face!!!! DBK stands upright, spit flying from his mouth. CYPHER stares at him before poking him in the chest...DBK falls to the mat!!! CYPHER makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...The Superior Design...CYPH3R!!!!!
Jones: CYPHER with a dominating performance. He keeps his winning streak in-tact!
Hood: Yep, he gave The Dirtbag Kid a harsh does of reality. This is 2022, not 1999. Get with the times, dirtbag!
Jones: There isn’t a wrestler in this industry HOTTER than CYPHER. It won’t be long before we’re seeing him headline, not just massacres, but Pay Per Views.
Hood: No doubt, he’s hacked his way into the OCW system and it won’t be long until the other wrestlers are fucked.
~We cut backstage inside THE KNIFE MAN’S office where he’s dipping his giant blade into some ink and jotting down notes. Welsh is on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Machete Phil is cleaning Welsh’s toenails with the sharp end of his machete~
Marcus Welsh: Yea and I know I shouldn’t have spread the rumor that she blew everybody on the soccer team after a summer practice but she just made me so mad, ya know? She never spoke to me again…
The Knife Man: It’s clear that lie had a profound impact on you, sir. I’m glad we’re digging all this up. You’re going to be a new man in no-time.
Marcus Welsh: I’m starting to feel like a new man...like there’s a new man inside me.
~Welsh’s phone goes off like crazy. It reads Greg. It’s as though Greg heard something he didn’t like. Welsh puts it on ignore. There is a knock at the door~
The Knife Man: The sanctity of this safe space is sacred. Who dares enter this realm?
Cap Slock: IT IS I THE GOOD CAPTAIN.
~Knifey looks at Welsh. Welsh nods~
The Knife Man: You may enter.
~Cap Slock enters, holding Welsh’s MAC. The screen is up and the computer is on~
Cap Slock: SIR I HATE TO BOTHER YOU BUT THE OCW EMAIL ACCOUNT HAS BEEN RECEIVING A LOT OF INTEREST LATELY. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TEND TO SOME OF THESE…
~Welsh sits up~
The Knife Man: Now, sir...only if you’re ready.
Marcus Welsh: I’m feeling pretty good, Knifey. I think I might be able to resume my GM duties next week. Hand it over, Captain. Let’s see who wants to join OCW.
~Welsh takes the lap top and he scrolls through his emails~
Marcus Welsh: RAGING SKULL? Umm, okay. Sure. Whatever. Whoa...what’s this...and what’s THIS?!
~Welsh looks up with wild, excited eyes~
Marcus Welsh: You guys are not gonna believe who wants to join the OCW roster. Holy shit! We’ve got work to do, gentlemen!
~Welsh seems very excited...his computer starts to glitch. Welsh looks at the screen and a PURGED mask quickly flashes!! Welsh’s eyes shake and flutter...fear returns, he drops the lap top and dives into the couch, turning his back to everyone~
Cap Slock: SIR! ARE YOU OKAY, SIR?
~Cap Slock steps forward, slowly grabbing the lap top...he looks at the screen...it looks fine. No sign of any disturbance~
Marcus Welsh: Go away, Captain. Knifey, help! I need your guidance!
~Cap Slock leaves, despondent. The leader remains shaken. The emotional odyssey continues~
~ The camera fades backstage and you see The Paramount members all sitting around a table just staring at the phone. The golden phone lays in the middle of the table. ~
Alice Knight: It's so shiny. You know, if we sold this to a jeweler we could make a lot of money and go on an OCW Leave of Absence forever… or a long, long. LOOOOOONG time. Let me feel the gold. Touchy touchy!
~ Alice goes to grab it and CJ slaps her hand. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Don’t touch it Alice. I know you like shiny things but soon enough you will have something extremely shiny.
Alice Knight:I hope you don’t mean that filthy, smelly and crusty ol’ OCW CHampionship that Scott Syren last used as toilet paper sitting in my dressing room? But instead we are talking about at Big Game Hunting when I beat Dylan Thomas for the Savage Championship. CJ, babe. That’s mine. Allllll…… all mine!
~CJ looks down at the floor and back up at Alice. His voice seems to be a bit nervous. ~
CJ O’Donnell: That’s exactly what I mean.
~Calaway looks at CJ. ~
Alexandra Calaway: Are you alright CJ? You look a bit pale. What’s going on CJ?
~ A bead up sweat begins to come down his forehead and CJ wipes it off. ~
CJ O’Donnell: I am fine. Why wouldn’t I be..
~CJ quickly changes the subject. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Besides selling this as gold is at an all time high does anyone else have suggestions on what we should do with the phone?
Alice Knight: Well… since we don’t want to sell it… right? Right? Right! We could make some crazy crank calls. ‘Hey, Mr. Gold. Is your fridge running? Yes? Well you better go out and… wait. No. What? “... How does this one go again? Alex? Do refrigerators even run? Doesn’t matter. Wait… what if it rings? What do we do? Should we be ourselves or like, impersonate someone else? I can do a pretty hilarious Chinese woman accent…
~Alexandra looks at the phone and then at the both of them. ~
Alexandra Calaway: Why don’t we just pick it up and call the last number that called it. Then we would know this mystery once and for all.
CJ O’Donnell: Or maybe I should call Welsh bluff and act like I called the owner of this phone and maybe he will let it slip. Maybe he will give an Easter egg of who owns the phone. And then we can use it as leverage and whoever gives us the better deal we align with to do their dirty work. We scratch their back and they will have to scratch ours.
~ CJ picks up the phone as we go to the next segment. ~
The Machine Cult (1-0) vs. The Viagra Boys (0-1)
~The Viagra Boys are in the ring, rubbing their groins, still feeling very uncomfortable with the cups that have been mandated for the protection and safety of their opponents. Hey, if they don’t like these things, then maybe they should stop popping erectile dysfunction pills before every match. Maybe. Anyway, they scratch and complain~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring...The Viagra Boys!!!
~A few less than enthusiastic pelvic thrusts from the boys generate an even fewer amount of cheers~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~“Enter the Metal World” by Battle Beat hits the PA system as the lights go out save for a single spotlight at the top of the ramp. After a few moments, Supreme Machine walks through the curtain, stopping at the top of the ramp as Belinda Hargreaves and Jake Oswin follow him out onto the stage. The pair kneels infront of the masked monster, who nods approvingly before turning around and leaving. Oswin and Hargreaves stand up, look at each other and start making their way down the aisle, Hargreaves prancing and Oswin stalking. They climb into the ring and walk to its middle, Oswin dropping to one knee and Hargreaves laying down on her side in front of him~
Belvedere: At a total combined weight of 350lbs...Jake Oswin and Belinda Hargreaves...The Machine Cult!!!
~Hargreaves returns to her feet. Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. Viagra Boy 1 walks up to Belinda and motions toward his crotch. Belinda looks down, confused and annoyed~
Jones: I think he wants to know if she’d be okay with him wrestling without that cup sealing his, well, rock hard genitals.
Hood: Well, at least he’s asking permission. That’s how you do it, right? “Mind if I rub my dick all over you?”
Jones: I mean, not exactly.
~Viagra Boy 1 gets closer...suddenly, his arm is grabbed by Jake! Jake twists his arm and starts to pull and bend VB1’s fingers! He yells out, bending over, trying to get his hand free. Orwin stomps and we hear a crack...VB1 stumbles into the ropes, holding onto his hand. Belinda runs forward with an Enziguri, smacking VB1 in the head and sending him over the top rope and to the outside~
Jones: Well, one of the Viagra Boys has suffered a hand injury.
Hood: Whew, looked like his right hand, too. Gonna make relieving himself of that everlasting wood a little more difficult.
Jones: I’d rather not think about that.
~Viagra Boy 2 rushes Jake, hitting him with some double axe handles, sending him into the ropes. Belinda turns around, feeling the fracas nearing her...she jumps up and drop kicks Viagra Boy 2 in the face!!! He stumbles into the ropes...he staggers off and throws a wild clothesline at Belinda, but she ducks, grabs him from behind and drops him with a backstabber!!! She then immediatley transitions into a Crossface, only her hands dig into VB2’s mouth and pull back!! VB2 yells out. Jake suddenly flies into the shot and he applies Glorious Torture (Calf Crusher)!!! VB2 is getting ripped apart from both sends...he yells out, he screams...he tries to tap...Scruff finally calls for the bell~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...Belinda Hargreaves and Jake Oswin...MACHINE CULT!!!!!
Jones: Wow, dominating win once again.
Hood: The Cult of Supreme Machine is dominating. Anybody who would follow that man...or those men, whatever’s going on inside his head, are too dangerous for my liking.
Jones: SuMa’s had a rough go of it in 2022, but I think he’s found his calling in OCW.
~Jake and Belinda finally release VB2 and they stomp on him until he rolls out of the ring. They stare out into the crowd...the fans look at them, impressed but also a bit unsettled~
Jones: These people don’t quite know what to make of these two.
Hood: Yea, well, we’re just getting to know them...but, one thing is for sure, they aren’t going to spare their opponents any pain.
Jones: Nope. They are out to maim and their journey is just getting started.
~We come back to see the ring is occupied by what seems like a typical late night talk show fashion. There’s a multi-stained leather couch, along with a table that looks like it’s holding together out of pure spite. The office chair, by far the nicest piece of furniture in the whole set, swings around revealing none other that Crash Rodriguez. As the crowd goes absolutely nuts, he rises to his feet with a smile on his face~
Crash: Welcome to the most prestigious in-ring show in the history of OCW, THE CRASH REPORT!
~The crowd roars in response, but the cheers soon turn to booing as Louis Pohl enters the ring~
Crash: Now tonight, we’ve got a big big show planned. We got guests that you simply don’t wanna miss. Tonight, live on The Crash Report, we will have OCW Hall of Famers Matt Meyhu and PerZag! And don’t forget our musical guest, Billie Ei-
Lou: Uh, Crash, none of those guys are coming on the Crash Report.
~Crash’s face turns from energetic and happy, to that of a puzzled and heartbroken man~
Crash: W-What do you mean?
Lou: They aren’t coming, they never even reached back to us.
Crash: But I thought you were gonna call them?
Lou: No. You specifically told me, ‘Lou, don’t call them. I’ll do it. They’ll never listen to you. People love Crash. They’ll listen to Crash. Crash will call them.’ After that you demanded me to go get yo-
Crash: Well fuck man, I didn’t call anybody. What are we gonna do? Can’t just waste these good people’s time!
Lou: Calm down, I already got it handled. Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, OCW’s own, Easton Alexander!
~Attention turns to the top of the ramp as Maniac by Carpenter Brut hits, the crowd reaction is mixed this time around, it seems like Alexander has some new fans after his big win last week, but a lot of people still hate his guts. Easton comes out from behind the OCW curtain, wearing a dress shirt and pants with some nice black and red shoes, he's in great spirits, walking with confidence down to the ring, he steps up onto the apron and into the ring, he walks over to the table and shakes the hand of his host Crash, and goes to take a seat in the guest chair… but one look and you can see this thing is fucking filthy, its stained all over the cushion~
Crash: Take a seat Easton.
Easton: Can I just stand?
Crash: what's wrong, is something up with the couch?
Easton: No no… well yeah actually, Crash this seat is disgusting like did you really want me to sit here? Is that mold…
Crash: we need to have a couch, all great talk shows have their guests sit on a couch, and this IS a great talk show… so please have a seat.
Easton: Crash… I'm not gonna sit on this couch, man.
Crash: Just flip the seat over, stop being a big baby.
~Easton does just that, and turns the cushion over to the other side, only to realize that it's EVEN WORSE. Crash nods his head and flashes a grin, as he gestures towards the couch~
Crash: Come on man, pick a side! Welsh only gave us so much time for this. You’re really starting to seem like you might be a bad guest, you don’t wanna be a bad guest now do you? Of course not, so don’t be one and sit down, my friend.
~Crash and Easton stare at each, tensions flare. But Easton ends up taking a seat on the… less sticky side~
Crash: Easton, my guy. My main man. My dude. My bromeo. Now we both know, you’re out here, making a name in OCW, carving out your legacy like a Thanksgiving turkey, but all of that surely PALEs in comparison to being the first guest on The Crash Report! So come on, tell us how does it feel?
Easton: You know man it's a great feeling, I get to do what I love at a high level and fight some amazing competitors.
Crash: Yeah, yeah, that’s cool and all, but I was talking about my show. Come on man, tell me how much this show rocks, I mean look dude, I got the couch, the desk, fuck man you gotta admit this is THE most important part of Massacre!
~Easton chuckles, but Crash gives him that look like “i wasn't kidding”~
Easton:... It's a great show Crash, you've got something special here.
~Easton… doesn't seem entirely sincere, he almost seems hesitant to give credit to Crash. However Crash doesnt notice, taking the time to brag to Lou about the quality of his show~
Crash: This really is a great show huh, Lou? You notice the band?
Lou: Crash, that's just Leo in a sombrero holding maracas. Hardly counts as a ba-
Crash : Yes a great band they are, Easton you like music?
Easton: Of course, i love mus-
Crash: Yeah, me too. So hey, let's cut right into the meat of it. You, Easton Alexander, the defeated man, toppled that little ghosty. How does it feel?
Easton: That's an amazing question, Crash. And might I say, you are looking very jacked today.
Crash: Oh thank you, thank you, but come on enlighten us.
Easton: Of course, it's not everyday you get to pin a ghost, clean in the center of that ring, but that's just the level determination that I possess.
Crash: You're right about that, but I meant what does it feel like to no longer be a winless laughing stock, but hey we don't have much time, so let's just move on. I guess what everybody wants to know, from me, to Lou, to all the fans watching at home, what's next?
Easton: Well I don't want to get ahead of myself, but when you beat a top contender you become a top contender, and quite frankly i'm not going to walk on eggshells anymore, i think i should be inserted into the Craze championship match at big game hunting… or at the very least i've earned a future title shot, and I think if anybody can beat Tamika Strader… it's me!
Crash: WOAH! Woah, Woah Woahy Woah! Slow yourself down. Yeah, sure, You beat the spooky girl, but besides your meat, that's all I believe you've beaten since arriving. But let's be serious, I think we both know if anybody is getting a chance, it should be Crash Rodriguez.
Easton: Crash, with all due respect…
~Crash cuts off Easton, putting on a very childish mocking tone~
Crash: 'With all due respect' I eliminated you at Technical Difficulties. 'With all due respect' I've been chasing that title since 2019. And finally, "with all due respect", we both know you're simply not good enough. So maybe, instead of seeing my Craze Championship as your next step, be a bit more realistic and go work for your father.
Easton: Crash…
Crash: I'm sorry. You're right. This isn't about me, after all it's only the CRASH Report. I'm sorry man, I'm sorry. I have an idea. Let's just move on to the game, shall we?
~Lou nods his head, proud of Crash containing himself. Easton sinks back into his chair, preparing for what to come~
Crash: Now, Lou, bring in the game. Chop chop, "Mr. Future Craze Contender" is a busy man after all.
~The former attorney slides into the ring with a burlap sack, Easton’s eyes enlarge as the sense of danger fills the ring, but he is quickly called when the contents are revealed to be a game of cornhole~
Crash: CORNHOLE! Easton, you know how to play right?
Easton: Yeah I mean it's pretty simple right, you just throw the thing at the hole… I've done this before.
Crash: I'm sure the missus loves that. Alright, well you got the basics, but here on The Crash Report, we like to mix things up.
~Crash reaches under the table, before standing and unveiling a pint of tequila~
Crash: By getting absolutely blitzed, my guy. So go ahead, make your toss.
Easton: One problem with the ruling here Crash… I don't drink.
Crash: Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, I'll drink for you. To show you that I'm your friend. How's that sound?
~Lou walks up to Easton and hands him 3 beanbags, as Crash looks at Easton hopefully~
Easton: Yeah that works out great, thanks brother.
~Crash smiles widely, this really is the best in-ring talkshow in OCW history~
Crash: Alright, fire away migo.
~Easton Tosses the first bag, not getting anywhere close to his target, Crash nods his head in sympathy as he takes a swig from the bottle~
Crash: It's ok, my friend. Just try again.
~As Easton extends his throw, Crash slams the bottle across his head, shattering shards of glass everywhere. Easton falls to a knee, as blood pools over his face, he stares up in defiance as Crash grabs and handful of Easton’s hair and drags him to his feet~
Crash: The Craze Championship is MINE, you grubby little fuck.
~Easton spits at Crash. The Crooked Man wipes the blood mixed saliva from his cheek before lifting Easton up and suplexing him through the desk. As Easton lays face up, blood starts to flow heavily from the side of his face as it starts to pool on the mat. Lou grabs Crash's arm, yanking him to exit the ring. Crash pushes his representation aside as he stares over Easton~
Jones: Holy smokes!! Crash just injured Easton!
Hood: Craze title makes people do CRAZY things!
Jones: Easton's coming off a breakthrough performance last week and was out here to enjoy himself when Crash blindsided him! Damn that Crooked Man!
Hood: Once Easton wakes up he's gonna be pissed. I mean, he beat a damn ghost last week...he won't back down from The Crooked Man. That much I can tell you.
Jones: Crash better watch out because Easton is not the type to let something like this go. He'll be out for blood.
Hood: Yup.
~Cuts to the back where we see Alice Knight on her cell phone as the crowd within the arena cheer. Alice looks frustrated as she speaks to her lawyer as she glares evilly at her smelly and rusted to shit OCW 'Syren' Championship belt sitting on a chair in the background. It is also covered in car air fresheners.~
Alice Knight: Dude, you're my attorney! Garry M Brimley dammit. You are not only the best lawyer a girl with a sketchy past and pioneer of the 2022 mustard business could ask for. Also the best drummer-slash-guitarist that I know. And I know a lot of people... I'm pretty popular. And super famous...
~Alice listens to her lawyer, Garry Brimley.~
Alice Knight: ... so what? The Brown(?) Owl Is Night mustard has always been the least best seller of my Mustard varieties. And YES i know, I KNOW! ... Sooooo? It gave some kids in the Orient the shingles? And my sort of friend Cassandra Baumer may have suffered severe brain damage from it. Though that could be genetics too. But what do these slackers expect? To simply spread the Brown(?) mustard over their sandwich and eat it without the fear of death? C'mon, grow up. Plus the fear of death is what keeps us allllll alive, right? Plus... there is a warning on it. Listen kids, it's clearly written on the Owl Is Mustard jar. Just have to peel off the yellow label and read the darkish yellow print on it. And you'll see the warning. And I quote "The new and improved Brown(?) Owl Is Night Mustard is 11% LESS poison! But if not ingested properly may cause 'Constant and Painful Diarrhea. Blindness. Brain Disease. Shingles. Complete Body Shut Down-and-or-Heart Explosion.' Read The Instructions in the bright yellow text below before applying Brown(?) Owl Is Night mustard to anything edible and non-edible. DO NOT FEED TO PUPPIES. Do NOT Ingest Brown(?) Owl Is Night Mustard if you are: 'Pregnant. Not Pregnant. Thinking about Pregnancy. A Child under the age of 30. A Senior Citizen Over the Age of 33." Blah, blah, blah! Whatever. I hate it when people need their mustard spelled out for them...
~Alice listens to her lawyer. Nodding and shrugging to herself.~
Alice Knight: ... it's not that hard to follow. Whatever, Garry. Fix this. I can handle court right now because a few kids died from mustard that I created. That just doesn't seem fair. Why am I to blame?...
~Alice stares off screen where she sees her official African Village Helper, Abebe walk up to her. He is very short. Alice looks down at him before turning her back to the phone~
Alice Knight: ... yeah? Yeah? Ok, hang on. I'll call you back. Just. Get. It. Fixed. Chat later, Garry.
~Alice sighs as she turns her attention back to Abebe.~
Alice Knight: ABEBE! How... are you? So good to see you...? What... do you want?
~Abebe speaks in his broke English to Alice~
Abebe: I Just Want Miss Alice Hoots To Know That Abebe And Abebe's Entire Family And Friends Wish Her The Best Of Luck At Big Game Hunting In Savage Belt Match
~Abebe goes to hug her but Alice stops him immediately and gently pushes him back with her palm to his forehead. Alice cleans off her hands on Abebe's shirt.~
Alice Knight: Um, sure. Thanks Abebe... that, like, means a lot. I guess. I don't care... I said thanks, anything else?
Abebe: No Miss Alice Hoots That Is All
Alice Knight: Cool... bye?
~Alice motions with her hand for him to go away.~
Abebe: OK HOOTS THANKS LOSING TO DYLAN THOMAS IS NOTHING BE SAD 'BOUT YOU WILL GET OVER!
~Abebe goes to leave as a shocked Alice pulls him back by hooking her finger into his shirt collar.~
Alice Knight: What did you just say to me? Abebe... you really don't think Dylan Thomas stands a chance against me at Big Game Hunting, do you?
Abebe: Of Course YES! A LIST ARE BEST EVER! NO SHAME IN LOSING ALICE HOOTS
Alice Knight: Look. I respect the hell out of Dylan Thomas. He helped carry OCW when a lot of us REAL OCW legends and Hall of Famers were on a leave of absence or whatever. Including myself. He earned my respect for that. Plus he is a hell of a wrestler. But... do you THINK he REALLY stands a chance against me? I am Alice Knight. Leader of the Hooters. OCW Hall of Famer, *two* time OCW Champion if you include the Scott Syren toilet belt over there. That so called A-Lister Dylan Thomas deep down inside his hear even knows he can't beat me... hell... I'll even prove it to you. Let's go...
Abebe: Where Go Alice Hoots?
Alice Knight: Where Go? We go have a little talk with Mr. Thomas... that's 'where go'. Now pick up my stinky crutted up OCW title and follow me, Abebe... NOW!
~Abebe rushes to the belt and grabs it and follows an anxious Alice off camera~
BAM G (2-0) vs. Too Much Zeus (0-1)
~TMZ 2...or, ya know, Too Much Zeus, are in the ring. They are both calling toward the heavens. Zeus slaps at Zeus 2, telling him that the heavens won’t listen to a facsimile Zeus. But Zeus 2 argues that he must call to the heavens because he IS Zeus. They continue arguing~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...the team of Zeus and Zeus...yes, it is, in fact...TOO MUCH ZEUS!!!
~Zeus starts to dance. Zeus 2 tries to copy him but his moves obviously aren’t as amazing as what Zeus is laying down~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~WHERE DA HOOD AT starts to play and for the third consecutive week JAM G steps out from backstage with Bob Grenier following. JAM’s head is down, looking less bewildered and more focused than the previous two tag team matches. Grenier keeps his eyes on JAM, ensuring that he doesn’t run off or do anything cowardly. HE’S A MAN, DAMNIT~
Belvedere: The team of OCW Hall of Famer Bob Grenier and Outsiders legend JAM G...they are...BAM G!!!
~JAM looks back at Bob as they reach the ring. Bob motions for him to get inside. JAM nods and slides in. Bob marches up the steps and stands in the team’s corner, leaning over the ropes, ready to watch the progress of his partner~
Jones: The progession of BAM G continues. JAM started last week’s match but nearly lost it for his team...until one of the Viagra Boys threatened to remove his mask. That lit a fire under JAM G and he came back and dominated.
Hood: Guy must be really ugly to want his face to remain hidden THAT badly.
Jones: I’m not here to judge the aesthetics of our wrestlers, Hood. I’m just interested to see if the progression can continue. JAM G is going to have to become a competent wrestler if this team has any shot to compete agaisnt the best.
~Belvedere exits and the bell rings. Zeus yells out “I AM THE KING OF THE GODS!!” Zeus 2 starts to yell that out like an echo...but JAM G charges forward! He takes Zeus down with a huge clothesline!!! Zeus 2 yells “SHIT!” and he quickly climbs to the top rope for safety. JAM G pulls Zeus up and he punches him in the head over and over...Zeus is reeling against the ropes~
Jones: Well, what do you know...JAM G is starting this match on fire!
Hood: Damn, he’s got some aggression in him.
Jones: Things are looking up for this team, Hood. If JAM G becomes a legit competitor...they can most definitely contend for those OCW Tag Titles.
~JAM G rushes at Zeus and clotheslines him over the top rope and to the outside!! Zeus hits hard!!! JAM G turns toward Zeus 2! Zeus 2 is standing on the top buckle...he throws his hands out and begs JAM G not to hurt him. But, JAM G charges forward and dropkicks the top buckle!!! Zeus 2 drops, getting crotched atop the buckle. JAM G climbs to the top. Grenier looks on, impressed. JAM G gets to the top...he pulls Zeus 2 up and gets him on his shoulders...he then leaps off the top, dropping Zeus 2 on his head with Chula Vista Dirt Bomb (Death Valley Driver from the top rope)!!!! Zeus 2 goes limp. JAM G makes the cover...Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...BAM G!!!!!
Jones: Wow! JAM G owned that match from start to finish.
Hood: Zeus and ‘Zeus 2’ may not be much...but it wasn’t long ago JAM G was on their level. Now, he’s clearly surpassed them.
Jones: He continues to grow from a jobber into a legitimate star. Bob Grenier being the master behind the curtain.
Hood: Wouldn’t it be wild if JAM fuckin G is the secret to unlocking Bob’s success in 2022?
Jones: Stranger things have happened, Hood.
~Bob enters the ring, arms out like “Man, you didn’t leave anything for me to do.” JAM G smiles...Bob pats him on the back before raising his hand~
Jones: BAM G is making a strong case for an OCW Title shot.
Hood: BAM G, CFH...this new Machine Cult. Dravers. Danger Boiz. The tag division is wild right now.
Jones: That it is!
~Alexandra was walking through the hut area heading towards the hut that was assigned to her tag team partner Cypher. She let herself in, knowing that he wouldn't mind her being there. The two had become rather close friends and she needed to talk to Cypher about a few things. Walking in she noticed his back was turned to the door and he seemed to be busy typing something up on his computer. She walked up behind him, placing her hands over his eyes from behind him, leaning down she whispered in his ear~
"Guess who.."
~Cypher smirked, a small chuckle escaped his lips, and he stopped typing, reaching up to place a hand on hers. He slowly moved her hands off his face, before turning to look up at her as she stepped beside him, leaning against the table in his hut. She took a breath while he looked at her, there it was, eye contact. Things had gotten a bit awkward, like she wasn't sure how to act around him now that people felt the need to make their friendship into something it wasn't~
"Alex.. what brings you all the way out here to my hut? Shouldn't you be checking in with your crew."
~Alexandra shook her head and laughed at his words. She didn't have to check in with Alice and CJ, this group wasn't about leadership, it was about being a team~
"There's no need to check in. He and Alice are not my leaders.. it's a team. Besides, you are my tag team partner and the only person who showed any concern for me after the attack from Dangerous Dan. So I came to ask, if you would go out there with me for my match against Tony. After all.. you've been my biggest supporter in this. The one who believes I can beat Tony."
~She looked at him and Cypher turned to look up at her, eye contact again. He smirked~
"Of course, I'm not going to leave my tag team partner out there by herself."
"Awesome. Well then.. I'll let you get back to your fun. Thanks Cy.. you are pretty amazing you know that."
~The two laugh as the camera fades out~
Alexandra Calaway (1-1) vs. Tony the Spider (0-0)
~The mood shifts. The people of djibouti flex their glutes in anticipation for some hyper competitive action. Belvedere, inside the ring, takes a deep breath before blessing the planes of Africa with his golden voice~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!!! Introducing first…
~“JUMP” by Van Halen begins to play!! Smoke filters around the entrance and some cheap, 80’s pyros pop off as TONY THE SPIDER steps through the smoke, bobbing his head like a chicken. He laughs, making his way to the ring...he’s got his circular shades on and his mullet is FULL FORCE. He reaches into his fanny pack, tossing a cheeto into his mouth. He’s looking like CLASSIC Tony the Spider~
Belvedere: From Emilio’s Backyard…ladies and gentlemen, if you only knew...he is...Tony the Spider!!!!
~Tony walks up the steps as JUMP hits a nice little instrumental solo. He steps into the ring and shows that he’s THE COCK OF THE WALK. Strutting, bobbing his head, and eating cheetos at the same time. He stops, lowers his shades and eyes some women at ringside...Nibbles material? Possibly. His music stops and Tony stands in the center of the ring, reaching into his fanny pack and laughing. His music ends and another theme begins...the theme belonging to his opponent. "Wicked Ways" Halestorm starts to play and the fans stand, ready to greet Alexandra Calaway~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The lights go down and "Wicked Ways" by Halestorm starts to play. The arena is filled with Red and lights and fog. The Silhouette of Alexandra can be seen at the top of the ramp. She poses on the top of the ramp and as the beat drops, she starts to make her way down the ramp, towards the ring. Stopping halfway down the ramp, she stops looking out over the crowd, before continuing on. She smirks seeing some of the signs people made, a cocky smirk crosses her face~
Belvedere: "From Dallas, Texas, Alexandra Calaway..."
~Finishing her walk down the ramp, she climbs onto the ring apron and up onto the turnbuckle. She slips into the ring and poses on the ropes, leaning forward on the ropes, sometimes talking shit with people in front row Tony stands behind her, laughing and staring at her ass~
Jones: Alexandra Calaway back in action, this week against Tony the Spider!
Hood: This shit has heated up quickly, man. Tony wants her to show her nipples in nibbles!
Jones: An offer she had to refuse.
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. Calaway gets off the ropes and turns around, she sees Tony eyeing her like a piece of meat~
Jones: Oh boy.
Hood: You think he’d give her the name Vanilla Pudding?
Jones: I don’t know, Hood. I’d like to think I’m not an expert at stripper names.
Hood: It’s not that hard, Jones. Just come up with something degrading that vaguely corresponds with a physical trait.
Jones: No.
~Calaway snarls and asks Tony what he’s looking at. Tony laughs, having just heard Uncle Kracker earlier in the show. He’s a big Uncle Kracker fan. Calaway takes offense to this and she rushes forward, kicking Tony in the gut...but her foot catches his fanny pack, which is rock hard, loaded with so many cheetos. Tony no sells it...he laughs and begins to hit Alexandra in the head with some punches...he laughs while punching her~
Jones: Tony’s secret weapon, the heavily processed corn chips in his fanny pack.
Hood: And people say those things aren’t healthy. They might have just saved Tony’s life AND spared Nibbles!
Jones: Well, let’s relax...it’s still very early in this match up.
Hood: Can we call this portion of the match ‘sunrise’ from now on?
Jones: These matches aren’t strippers, Hood.
Hood: So you DO know how to name strippers!
~Calaway is reeling, leaning against the ropes. Tony runs forward and he clotheslines OCW’s Queen over the top rope and to the outside!! The fans go wild!!! Tony laughs and he starts to strut around the ring, bobbing his head. Calaway tumbles into the barricade, glaring up into the ring, furious. Tony reaches into his fanny pack and he pulls out some...FREE ENTRY passes to NIBBLES!!! He flings them out into the crowd...cheese dust flies everywhere...the people of Djibouti aren’t sure what Nibbles is, but the middle aged woman smoking a cigarette, holding a Colt 45, and dressed in knock off Victoria’s Secret lingerie has them convinced that it’s a rad pad~
Jones: I’m not sure any of these people will ever put those passes to use, but it’s nice of Tony to spread the love.
Hood: Just like how Chocolate Pudding spreads those legs.
Jones: HOOD
~Tony continues strutting like it’s the mid 80s and he’s just set the new high score on Ms. Pac Man. Suddenly, Calaway reaches into the ring, grabbing Tony by the legs and yanking him from the ring to the outside. The fans boo!! Calaway whips Tony into the barricade...his tiny, pudgy body SLAMS into the metal, hard. He laughs, but it’s more of a painful laugh. Calaway moves forward and begins to slice away at Tony’s pale chest with some vicious chops. The third, ultimate chop causes Tony to spit a bunch of chewed up cheetos into the air. She then grabs him and whips him toward the ring...Tony can’t get up to slide into the ring, so he winds up running, chest first into the edge of the apron. Alexandra moves ahead and she SLAMS him face first into the ring apron...Tony falls onto his ass, holding his face. Calaway punts him in the face, knocking him back. His shades fly off, landing in the crowd...a nice sourvenir for a lucky djiboutian~
Jones: And the match has turned...Calaway is showing Tony that her career...who she is...is no laughing matter and, definitely, not Nibbles material.
Hood: Some people live life with a smile...others live life with an edge. Alexandra is the latter.
Jones: Evidently.
~Calaway frowns with disgust, grabbing Tony by his majestic mullet. She slings him back into the ring, this time he’s able to get his body onto the apron, rolling in under the bottom rope. Alexandra hops onto the apron, she waits for Tony to get to his feet...he does, laughing along the way. She jumps up and springboards off the top...but Tony ducks and hits the ropes. He shoots off and SMACK!! He gets hit in the face from V-Trigger by Calaway!!! Tony stumbles forward, into her grasp...she kicks him in the gut, hooks him and picks him up...she drops him on his head with Bow to the Queen (Split Legged Piledriver)!!!! Tony’s body is limp. Alexandra makes the cover~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: Tony got his shoulder up!
Hood: Laughing while doing so!
Jones: Even in pain, Tony can find a situation humorous.
Hood: Honestly, I think it’s like tourettes or some shit.
~Tony rolls away, holding his neck...he gets into a corner and sits up. He slowly reaches into his fanny pack for a cheeto. Alexandra rushes over, slapping it out of his hand. The fans BOOO. She kicks Tony in the face before pulling him out of the corner by his hair. She steps back and hits Tony with a spinkick!!! Tony staggers. She runs into the ropes, bounces off and looks to hit Tony with a bulldog!!! But Tony holds her up...she stumbles toward the ropes...she kicks off the ropes...they spin around and Tony drops her with an Atomic Drop!!! Alexandra stumbles into a corner. Tony runs forward, laughing...he hits her with a spider splash!!! Calaway staggers out, turning to face Tony...he takes his fists and he starts to jab her in the face~
Jones: Are these the Spider Bites?
Hood: I honestly don’t know, I think Tony’s bio got covered in cheeto dust and thrown away.
Jones: Well, whatever it is...it’s working!
~Calaway stumbles, eating the tiny punches and jabs. She hits the ropes, feeling that she’s losing ground...so she fires forward with another V-Trigger!! But Tony ducks, laughing. She stumbles forward...Tony spins around and wipes his hands all over face!! Calaway yells out, tasting, smelling, and feeling the burn of cheeto dust in her eyes and into her stitched head...she turns around, gets kicked in the gut and taken over with a small package!!! The crowd rises!! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: Alexandra kicks out! Wow, Tony nearly forced her into working at Nibbles!
Hood: The hell does he call that move?
Jones: Lactose Intolerant?
Hood: Nope. That’s not real cheese...it’s gotta be something really dumb like ‘dust in your eyes’
Jones: Ah, yes, probably.
~Alexandra struggles to her feet. Tony pops back to his, strutting and eating cheetos. Calaway staggers into a corner, working to get the cheeto dust out of her eyes. Tony laughs and charges forward for another spider splash...but Ally moves!! Tony’s belly jiggles as it hits the buckles...he stumbles backward, with laughter mixed in pain. Calaway gets one eye open...she sees him staggered...she hits the ropes, bounces off, grabs him and takes him down with a Bulldog!!! Tony’s face SLAMS into the mat. He’s down. Calaway rolls toward the ropes and sits up, rubbing the toxic dust from her eyes, trying to regain her 20/20 vision~
Jones: Hmm, that’s a lot of dust in Alexandra’s eyes. Could maybe be argued Tony should be DQ’d.
Hood: With what’s riding on this match? You serious? Nibbles future is at stake! You can’t DQ the man! Besides, that cheeto dust is gonna keep that wound from getting reopened. He's pretty much a doctor right now.
Jones: Whatever! I’m just saying...her vision is impaired by a foreign substance he rubbed in her eyes. People have been DQ’d for far worse in other promotions.
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
~Tony pushes himself up. Alexandra, still looking out of one eye, sees the yellow spider man heading her way. She tries to get up, but he kicks her in the stomach. He pulls her to her feet and whips her into a corner. She hits hard. Tony laughs and runs forward...but Calaway, hearing the steps, moves!! Tony stops just short of hitting the buckles. He reaches into his fanny pack for a salty snack real quick. He throws the cheeto into his mouth. Alexandra is able to get a look at him and she rushes forward, grabbing for his hair...she drags him out of the corner via the party end of his mullet. She pulls him down for an inverted DDT...but Tony laughs, raises up and runs forward, tossing Alexandra into the corner with Snake Eyes!!! Calaway’s head SLAMS into the top buckle, staining it with some cheeto dust. She stumbles back. Landing on her ass~
Jones: Alexandra’s in trouble, Hood. Her vision is compromised and Tony the Spider is giving her his FULL FORCE effort.
Hood: Man, a proud member of Paramount is about to work in Nibbles. That’s…well, that’s not a great start for that stable.
Jones: It would be a blow to their prestige, for sure.
Hood: I’d like to get a blow while in the prestige, if you know what I’m saying.
Jones: Vaguely and, gross.
~Tony laughs, looking down at Alexandra, who is sitting up, eyes shut, head swimming. Tony heads for the corner, strutting. He slowly and awkwardly climbs to the top buckle. He sits there, watching Calaway. He eats some cheetos while waiting for her~
Jones: Tony perched at the top, enjoying a mid-match snack.
Hood: This guy’s cholesterol has to be through the roof.
Jones: I’d imagine he’d fail any physical not administered by OCW.
~Calaway reaches her feet, again, having trouble seeing. She gets one eye open and spots Tony perched at the top. Angril, she heads his way. Tony laughs and grabs her head, shoving her face into his fanny pack. Calaway waves her arms around, trying to break free~
Jones: What the heck is he doing?
Hood: I think he calls this ‘tangled in the spider’s web’
Jones: He does not!
~Tony stands...but Alexandra rears back and headbutts him in the crotch!!! Tony growns, still laughing. Alexandra, from Tony’s elevated position, is able to lift him up...she spins around and she plants him on the mat with Apocalypse (Elevated Powerbomb/Last Ride)!!!! She holds on for the pin...Scruff slies in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...ALEXANDRA CALAWAY!!!!!
Jones: Calaway does it! Half blind...she stomps out the spider!
Hood: Damn...Tony led almost the entire way.
~Ally rolls out of the ring, disgusted. She snares a fans water bottle and douses her eyes with it. She looks in the ring at Tony, who is laughing, while on his back. She spits with disgust and exits ringside~
Jones: Alexandra gets her second win...her biggest win of her OCW career.
Hood: Does this mean Nibbles will burn?
Jones: I don’t know but I’m sure we’ll find out.
~We open the scene to a pride of lions. The male patrols its territory, the females lay in the sun looking after the young cubs. And the cubs themselves? They roll and tumble over one another play fighting. The camera then cuts back to Dylan Thomas smiling. He then starts talking in a low whisper. Almost like a David Attenborough nature documentary~
Dylan: Alice… Do you see these perfect animals? The lion, a perfect predator - an Apex Predator if you will. Lions are savage, but not brainless. They are some of the most cunning animals on the planet. At Big Game Hunting you’re going to have to come after me with all of the cunning that you can muster. But guile? Oh no. OCW’s resident Owl lady would never use dishonest GUILE to achieve her goals now, would she? Then again, it is for the SAVAGE title, so I wouldn’t begrudge you if you did, to be fair. Alice I do wonder just how SAVAGE you can get. I could ask CJ but I’d rather find out for myself.
~The camera turns back to the pride and Dylan continues talking~
Dylan: Alice… Did you know that male lions that are not the father of cubs will kill and even in some cases eat these cubs? It’s true. Adoption does not exist in the lion world. It may seem harsh but they are only exerting their will and making room for their own kids. And just as a lion goes through cubs that are someone else’s cubs, at Big Game Hunting, I will be going through YOU to get my hands on that Savage title. And just as is the case with the lion, it’s nothing personal of course. Just business.
Hakuna Matata, Alice? Well not for you. There will be plenty of worries for you. Most notably: 'am I going to be taking the Perfect Finisher or tapping out to the Hollywood Cloverleaf'.
~The screen fades on Dylan's pearly whites~
~We cut to an area backstage, looks like there a lot of commotion surrounding one of the medical beds, various OCW cast and crew looking on to see what the problem is.~
Who’re: we gotta get through, come on camera guy, stick close.
~Who’re is always looking for an interview, and the crowd must have attracted her, she knifes through the crowd to get to the center, her camera man trying to keep up. She gets to the middle of the group to see Knife man, OCW’s chief medical staff member, taking a break from listening to Welsh so he can work on closing the cut in Easton Alexanders head.~
Who’re: Easton! Could I get a word please? I want to ask you about what happened out there tonight.
Knife man: Not right now, this gash is bigger than I thought.
Easton: it’s okay Knifes… she’s just doing her job.
Knife man: Okay kid, but I’m not done yet.
~Easton stands up and the camera finally catches the full bloody visage of the Dragon, a large wound on the side of his head, in the exact spot where Crash slammed that glass tequila bottle, almost the entire left side of his face, and dress shirt covered and soaked in blood.
Who’re: So first of all, how are you feeling.
Easton: I feel like some asshole just hit me with a bottle, my shoulder might be dislocated from that table… and my favorite shirt is ruined, so not all that great.
Who’re: I’m sorry to hear that, but after tonight are you even going to be able to compete.
Easton: quite frankly I don’t really know, but I don’t really have an option. I’ll be here next week and the week after that, just got to pop the bone back into place.
Who’re: excuse me if this is out of line, but where’s your fire Easton, you’re taking this like crash stepped on your shoes.
Easton: *He chuckles* Your absolutely right, but I’ve been sitting back here for about an hour now and I’ve had some time to think about it, at first I was really mad, but as I sat and ran it through my mind, I realized that it was my fault anyway, I should have known that Crash would feel this way about my situation, I should have known he would have been jealous… and to be honest, I’ve lost a lot of blood and I’m feeling light headed, but if you’ll allow me a second with the mic I want to say some shit.
~Who’re hands over the microphone and the cameraman turns the focus to Alexanders face.~
Easton: Crash Rodriguez… wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, just know this… I’m going to make your life a living hell until I get my hands on you. And when I do, you’re going to look a lot worse that I do right now… and last I checked, your schedule for Big Game hunting is pretty damn open. I don’t give a shit if this was premeditated or not, you fucked up really bad Crash, and I may not have a legion of fancy fuckers and hacker men to back me up, but you have pissed off the wrong one-man army, you stepped your bitch ass into the dragon’s den… and you’re not walking out without getting burned. I will see you very… VERY soon Crash.
~Easton hands the Mic back to Who’re.~
Who’re: you heard the man, back to the ring.
~We cut to ringside for our next match~
Mike Zybala (26-6) vs. CJ O’Donnell (7-1)
~The Djibouti people turn around and shake their asses at the camera when a promo for Big Game Hunting airs with the tag line STRAIGHT OUTTA DJIBOUTI. These are a proud people. A proud people sharing a very anal heritage. Belvedere nods, thanking them for showing him their (mostly) cloth covered asses. He then belts out his gorgeous voice~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first…
~“DREAMWEAVER” begins to play and the DREAMY MIKE video airs. Zybala steps out from behind the curtain with his OCW Tag Title around his waist. He rubs it and shows it off...the fans go wild! Then, from behind him approaches TLS~
Jones: TLS is coming out!
Hood: He’s gonna lay Zybala out with his tag title!
Jones: NO!
~TLS approaches Zybala, carrying his title belt in his hands. The fans gasp and yell. Zybala turns around and TLS stands next to him. He pats Zybala on the back and Zybala smiles, throwing a SUPERKICK as the heads down the ramp with TLS following him. The fans sigh with relief. Zybala sprints to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope as TLS takes his time~
Belvedere: From Buffalo, New York...standing 5’6 and weighing in at 175lbs...he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions...he is...Mike Zybala!!!!
~Zybala is on his feet, throwing superkicks and playing to the crowd, who are on their feet going wild! Belvedere smiles, enjoying the ebullience radiating from Zybala’s presence. TLS reaches the ring and leans over the apron, keeping watch. Zybala points to him and yells, “TMZ!” TLS has no reaction~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~"Kings Never Die" by Eminem hits! CJ O’Donnell steps from behind the curtain...unlike Zybala, CJ is all business. He doesn’t fuck around with any theatrics...he makes his way down the ramp, focused and hyped. He keeps his attention on the ring and Zybala. TLS turns, eying CJ as he walks up the steps...CJ points down at TLS and issues a warning. TLS has no reaction. CJ steps through the ropes and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: From Boston, Massachusetts...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs...he is CJ O’Donnell!!!!
~Belvedere exits and the bell sounds. CJ is in his corner, staring at Zybala. Zybala throws some superkicks...half forced superkicks...more like a warning than anything. Mike stands in the center of the ring, eager for CJ to meet him~
Jones: Huge match, Hood. A match five years in the making that both CJ and Mike said was arbitrarily thrown together on a massacre.
Hood: Yep, you’d expect more hype to be given to a match of this magnitude...but when the roster is what it is, I mean...big matches are gonna happen with very little notice.
Jones: And this doesn’t have to be the final affair, either. This could always be the beginning of something larger.
~CJ steps out from his corner and slowly saunters toward Zybala. Zybala throws a warning Superkick at CJ...CJ slaps his leg away and throws a forearm shot into Zybala’s head...but Mike blocks it and knees CJ in the abdomen! CJ stumbles. Zybala hits CJ across the face! CJ staggers into the ropes...Zybala grabs him by the arm and whips him across the ring...but CJ reverses...Zybala hits the ropes, CJ jumps with a knee!! But Mike ducks...Zybala hits the mat and slides out of the ring, next to TLS. CJ turns around, ready...but he eases up when he sees Zybala outside the ring, arm around TLS, discussing the match. TLS’ mask shifts images to a ‘wtf’ shape. Zybala nods and pats him on the back before sliding back in. The fans all laugh~
Jones: Haha, gotta love how much fun Zybala is having out there.
Hood: This fuckin guy. He’s in there with a very dangerous, very angry irishman and he’s acting like it’s his 10th birthday party.
Jones: We all have our methods, Hood.
Hood: Fuck’s sake! And TLS needs to realize that singles competition is more important than tag. Hurt him. Maim him. Invest in your future, TLS!
~CJ goes after Mike...Zybala ducks his grasp and hits the ropes. CJ spins around and Zybala leaps in the air with a cross body!! CJ catches him, but the momentum takes him into the ropes. He regains his balance and hosits Zybala up for a body slam. Mike fights by kicking his legs...it sends CJ leaning back against the ropes. Mike is able to get free and slide over CJ’s head and onto the apron. CJ turns around and Mike hops off the apron, slamming CJ’s throat over the top rope!!! CJ falls back, holding his throat in pain. Zybala stands outside...he looks down, the Tag Title still around his waist...he slaps the plate and points to the fans, who all go wild~
Jones: Looks like Scruff forgot to take the belt from Mike.
Hood: Sheesh. No protocols AT ALL. ANARCHY
~Mike turns and heads back into the ring. CJ is struggling to one knee, holding his throat. Mike removes the belt and holds it high...enjoying the ovation the belt offers. CJ sees Zybala showing off and rises up, kicking Zybala in the back!! The fans boo!! Zybala drops the belt. Mike stumbles into a corner, he turns around and CJ runs in with a huge knee...SMACK! Zybala drops to his ass, in the corner, reeling. Scruff bends over to grab the tag title, but CJ steps on it, preventing him from claiming it~
Jones: What’s he doing?
Hood: I think he wants to hand that title back to Zybala.
Jones: Yea, right. He’s not gonna use that belt against Zybala, is he?
Hood: I dunno, you tell me.
~Scruff looks up. CJ balls up his fist and threatens Scruff with it. Scruff stands up and backs away, hands in the air. CJ reaches down and grabs the title. He heads for Zybala. TLS hops onto the apron to stop him. CJ faces TLS...Zybala pulls himself up. Suddenly, CJ finds himself at a disadvantage. But, he doesn’t cower...he holds the title up, ready to use it. TLS pauses...he hears something from the crowd… “TLS! TLS!” It isn’t abnormal that someone would be calling for him from the crowd...the abnormal thing is the voice...it’s extremely familiar. TLS turns and hops off the apron, looking into the crowd. Zybala is distracted, he looks outside the ring, “TLS, partner, what’s up?” CJ dives into view, drilling Zybala in the back of the leg with the Tag Belt!! The fans boo!!! Zybala crumbles to the ground, holding his knee. Scruff stands by, watching~
Jones: What the hell? Scruff!
Hood: Dude, lawless. I’m telling ya...there’s no accountability right now. It’s free reign.
Jones: But what about the wrestlers who play by the rules?
Hood: Adapt.
~Even CJ seems a little surprised by the total inaction by OCW’s head ref. But, he goes with it. He places the title under his arm and drops it across Zybala’s knee!! He holds on, keeping pressure on Mike’s knee. Zybala yells, reaching for the ropes, but they’re too far away...plus, I mean, would it really matter? TLS, meanwhile, reaches the barricade and he looks around...but he sees nothing. The yelling as stopped. He rubs his chin before turning around and heading back to the ring. He sees CJ using the belt to injure Mike’s knee. He hurries forward~
Jones: This a joke! Before this match could really even get underway, CJ used Mike’s belt...which should have been removed from him BY Scruff to injure his knee.
Hood: Until that bell rings, it’s all legal.
Jones: We’re expecting this great contest between two all time greats who have a ton of history and THIS is what we get?
Hood: Classic OCW, Baby!
~TLS is about to enter the ring to help stop CJ from further injuring Zybala’s knee...but he pauses. Again, he hears his name called, followed by “HE’S GETTING OUT! HE’S GETTING OUT!!” TLS stops and turns, hopping off the apron. CJ yanks and yanks on Zybala’s knee with the title belt pressed against it...finally, Zybala’s knee GIVES OUT!!! Zybala yells, slapping the mat. CJ lets go and backs away, almost as if he’s thrown by what just happened...like he didn’t mean to take it THAT far. Mike curls up, holding his knee, obviously injured. CJ reaches his feet, holding the tag title~
Jones: Did that knee just pop? Did Mike just tear his ACL?
Hood: I don’t know, but it didn’t look good.
Jones: You see? You see what TOTAL ANARCHY does? It ruins things!
~CJ regains his senses, he drops the title and rolls Mike over. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: Zybala with the shoulder up!
Hood: Fuck. One leg and he’s hanging in there. I mean, there’s no point in trying to win this fuckin match. Way more on the line...uhh, down the line.
Jones: He’s a competitor, Hood. He doesn’t quit.
~CJ frowns, angry that Zybala won’t stay down. He reaches for the title and grabs it. He rears back with it, to hit Zybala...but Scruff steps in and takes it away! The fans pop as if to say “FINALLY!” CJ rises to his feet and he turns around, towering over Scruff and threatening him with words and body language. Meanwhile, TLS leans over the barricade, looking through the crowd...he’s trying to find the voice. ‘HE’S GETTING OUT! HE’S GETTING OUT!’ TLS follows the voice~
Jones: TLS is searching for a familiar voice...CJ is threatening Scruff...and Zybala is down with a potentially seriously injured knee.
Hood: Yea, that voice is familiar though, not gonna lie.
Jones: Wait, you know that voice?
Hood: It sounds familiar and not in a good way.
~CJ points in Scruff’s face. Scruff is backed into a corner...he’s got nowhere to move...he cowers and braces. CJ looks close to hurting him...and then, CJ falls backward!!! The crowd goes wild!! Scruff looks and sees Zybala rolling CJ up!!! Scruff drops the title and dives in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!
NOOOOO
Jones: Dang it! CJ barely kickd out!
Hood: The heart of Zybala...it’s unmatched.
Jones: It truly is.
~Zybala struggles to his feet. CJ hurries to his. Zybala gets to his feet, limping severely. CJ throws a dropkick at Zybala’s injured knee, taking it out!!! Mike yells, falling to the mat!!! CJ finds the belt...he drops to his knees and he bashes it into Zybala’s knee over and over and over. Scruff looks like he might DQ CJ...but CJ stops and glares at Scruff, threatening. Scruff backs down, proving he won’t stand up, not without the backing of a real authority figure. Meanwhile, TLS peers through the crowd...the design on his mask is curious looking...until it focuses in. He freezes...every muscle, including his heart stops...it’s like he sees a ghost~
Jones: What does he see? WHO does he see?
Hood: I don’t know...but that voice...it’s sending chills down my spine. It’s like it belongs to...I dunno, someone we gladly left behind years ago.
Jones: Odd.
~We get a shot of the woman yelling at TLS. She’s older but attractive. She’s wearing a low cut shirt and holding up a sign that reads “2 EXTREME FOR TV!” TLS leans over, staring at her...a few fans are in between them as the two lock eyes...the woman is intense, TLS is shook. Meanwhile, inside the ring. CJ has stopped bashing Zybala in the knee and is standing, waiting for him to get in position. Zybala fights to all fours...but he’s frozen in pain. CJ runs at him and he hits IRISH KNOWLEDGE!!! Zybala flips over and CJ covers him~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!
Jones: Ugh. A travesty. That wasn’t a match.
Hood: Advantageous. CJ took advantage of an opportunity and scored another huge win.
~TLS hears the bell and subsequent announcement and turns around. He sees CJ standing over an injured Zybala. He turns back around and sees the woman...she glares at him and says, “He’s Getting Out.” TLS wants to confront the woman further, but his tag partner needs him. He shoves away from the guardrail and slides into the ring. As he slides in, CJ slides out...he’s got his victory, no need to risk any potential injury from an angry TLS. TLS hovers over Zybala, checking his knee...Zybala reaches out, desperately for his title. TLS crawls around and pushes the title toward Mike...Mike hugs the title as he winces, fighting through the pain. The Knife Man and other OCW personnel hit the ring to check on him. We cut back to the crowd...the woman is gone~
Jones: CJ gets the win. Zybala might have suffered a massive injury and TLS was nowhere to help his partner.
Hood: Distracted by a woman...typically I’d say TLS is looking to get laid...but that was no ordinary fan.
Jones: She represents someone from TLS’ past. Someone dangerous enough to bother a man that is usually unbothered by everything. And you say you recognized her voice...her face?
Hood: I do. But I can’t quite place it. All I can say is that the feeling I get when I see...when I hear her...is not good. The person she runs with could be bad news for OCW.
Jones: She said ‘he’s getting out’...do you think that means...prison?
Hood: Wouldn’t shock me.
~We cut backstage where we see Dylan Thomas is all alone looking drinking a bottle of water near an ice cooler. No Lord Allton. No Lissandra Thomas. No A-List. He smirks looking off camera. It is revealed that he is looking at his Big Game Hunting opponent, Alice Knight. He raises an eyebrow when he sees she is with the short Abebe, who is holding the ranky disgusting OCW Syren Belt ~
Dylan Thomas: Well, well well…..I didn’t realise CJ shrunk. Did you put him in the wash or something, Alice?
~Dylan chuckles~
Dylan: What can I do for you?
~Alice Knight does a fake laugh. Abebe follows suit and also fakes a laugh. Alice looks at Abebe with a 'STFU' glare. He does~
Alice Knight: Good one, Dylan. You should try stand up comedy sometime. Or at least attend a comedy show. You could even be mayor someday with those awful jokes.
Dylan Thomas: I try….I’ve learned from the best. Lord Allton’s British humour is top notch. I mean -
Alice Knight: Look, zip it for a second, friend. I want you to know I am happy we get a chance to face off at Big Game Hunting, Dylan. Let's go out there and steal the show. I respect you so much. You're a great wrestler. No doubt. And me? Of course you respect me... I am freaking Alice Knight. HOOT! HOOT! HOOT!
~Alice begins flapping her hands as if they were bird wings as she hoots. Abebe does the same. Alice stares at him again. He stops~
Dylan: Hoot indeed…..
Alice Knight: But you see... my 'friend' Abebe here is under the impression that YOU CAN BEAT ME at Big Game Hunting? He has donkey brains, i know. So let's not tease him about it. And make him look stupid... can you please tell young Abebe here that YOU do NOT stand a CHANCE of beating the OWL is NIGHT at the Pay Per View... Please... tell him.
Dylan Thomas: Well young… Abebe, is it?
~Abebe nods~
Dylan: The fact is you’re right. I can beat Alice Knight and I will beat Alice Knight at Big Game Hunting. I want to make it known to you that when I beat YOUR friend at Big Game Hunting, because you have so much faith in me, there’s always a spot in the A-List for you. Was that what you were looking for, Alice? No. Oops.... I guess we got lost in translation, huh?
~Dylan smirks, with a wink at Alice~
Dylan: See you later, Alice.
~Dylan walks away~
~The camera fades in to a view of a small farm in what appears to be the African plains. The sounds of laughter can be heard as five adolescent African children are seen running around playing a form of tag in front of a small hut-like structure. Two women are filling buckets full to the brim with water from a hand pump well. In the fields other women and young children are picking fruits and vegetables and placing them in baskets. Some walk to and fro balancing their baskets on their heads. Out of the silence in the background rustling can be heard in the forest behind the farm. Birds begin to fly out of trees. Then, ominous music begins to play.~
Voiceover: Many people go through their daily rituals unaware of the dangers that lie in wait. Tragedy comes swiftly and without warning. Most never even recognize it until it is staring them right in the face.
~The view switches to behind a figure cutting his way through the forest with a machete. A white man with long brown hair, probably around 6’2 wielding the blade like Rambo in combat. His face totally obscured from sight. The more he cuts away, the more of him we see. His muscular build is concealed only by a tight white beater and ripped khaki cargo shorts. His arms are clean of tattoos but are marked with mosquito bites from top to bottom. He continues to cut through the brush as we begin to see light ahead and hear the voices of those children. Laughing, smiling, oblivious.~
Voiceover: I have spent the past 15 years languishing in mediocrity. I let greed and envy and the lust for fortune and fame cloud every bit of judgment I had and cost me everything. The anger, the pain, the suffering, it has all led me to this moment. To the plains of Djibouti. To this village. To these people. Today they will experience the man I have become. I will put an end to their game once and for all.
~The man cuts his way to the edge of the brush and emerges into the plain. His face still unseen due to the camera angle, he slowly begins walking toward the children, machete drawn. Like a scene out of Friday the 13th as Jason stalks his prey, the man inches closer and closer to the African children. Suddenly, a young boy in a blue shirt spots him.~
Boy: L'homme à la machette ! Cours!
(The Machete Man! Run!)
~Mass hysteria ensues as the children begin scattering, running for their lives. The man begins to pick up his pace, surveying the land but seemingly honing in on the blue-shirted child. The women at the well begin yelling something in French, too muffled for subtitles to pick up. The boy ducks around the hut and hides behind a large hand-woven basket. The machete man rounds the building and sees a little black bare foot sticking out from behind the basket. He raises his machete in the air with one hand while moving the basket with the other. The boy, cowering and holding his arms across his face screams out as the man’s arm comes down quickly, thrusting the machete into the ground. He grabs the boy with both arms and hoists him in the air bringing him to eye level.~
Man: Étiqueter! Vous l'êtes !
(Tag! You’re it!)
~The man throws the boy to the ground and takes off running, laughing as the other children also emerge from their hiding spots. They run toward the man, hugging him as he scoops up two small girls and holds them in their arms.~
Girl 1: Amick! Amick!
Girl 2: Amick, tu nous as manqué!
(Amick, we missed you!)
Amick: Tu m'as manqué aussi. Cela fait bien trop longtemps depuis ma dernière visite.
(I missed you too. It’s been far too long since my last visit.)
~The boy with the blue shirt pushes himself up off the ground and dusts himself off. He begins running toward this man we now know as Amick.~
Boy: Attends. Je viens pour toi. Je t'aurai, tu verras !
(Just wait. I'm coming for you. I'll get you, you'll see!)
~Amick begins running with the two girls in hand as the boy continues chasing him. The camera begins to pan to upward to an aerial shot of the game in motion. The simple life, the good life, on display for all to see.~
Voiceover: Danger comes in all shapes and sizes. I’ve spent 15 years waiting for this chance. I will not let it pass me by. OCW, get ready. Amick Dogeron has arrived!
~Scene fades to black.~
Non-Title Match
Plethora (c) (9-1) vs. Duce Jones (0-0)
~It’s dark in DJIBOUTI...I mean, makes sense. But yes, it’s night time and that main event feel rides the cool evening breeze. Belvedere stands in the ring ready to do his thing~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!!! This match is a non title match and it is scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first…
~The fans are buzzing, but soon turn to a mixed reaction as a voice begins to speak through the PA system~
“And the whole world loves it when you sing the blues… Da. Da.. Da. Da. Da.. Da….”
~The opening sounds of “Godspeed” by Don Trip begins to play as the lights inside of the arena turn a crimson hue color, soon the stage filling up with smoke. After about a minute of waiting, Duce Jones slowly emerge through the fog, mixed emotions coming from the crowd~
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at two hundred fifteen pounds! From Memphis, Tennessee… DUCE JONES!
~Slowly making his way towards the ring, Jones ignores the cheers and jeers that the fans are giving, as he soon makes it to ringside. Climbing onto the apron, Duce goes to the corner to his right, climbing onto the second rope and peering out into the crowd. Finally done, he jumps over the top rope, landing inside of the ring and removes his hooded vest as he prepares for action~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~A very slow, warped version of ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ starts to play as the ominous Plethora is about to make his entrance. Parents hide their children. People at the event by themselves try to stay in large crowds. Hungry fans do a double take on their sandwich to make sure it’s beef instead of chicken. And then, someone screams, “HE’S HERE!!!” A couple of elephants step out pulling a cart with Plethora in it. His black cloaked body stands, motionless. His SCYTHE visible for everyone to see. Duce, in the ring, shakes his head as if to say ‘this mother fucker.’~
Jones: And there he is, Hood. Our champion.
Hood: Hey, say what you want, but the dude has an aura.
Jones: He also kills and cooks people.
Hood: He does not...he orders others to do that. Big difference.
~The elephants reach the ring. They stop. Very well trained elephants. Plethora steps off his platform and he walks toward the ring, around the elephants. In the background we see a sign that reads “JUSTICE FOR GREGORY” If you know, you know. Plethora reaches the ring and he slowly walks up the steps, each foot more menacing than the previous~
Belvedere: From the Plane of Fear...wait, was that Syren? I can’t keep up. Anyway, he’s pretty tall and very heavy...he is...the OCW Champion...he is...Plethora the Perilous!!!
~Plethora steps through the ropes, he’s holding onto his SCYTHE. Duce sees this and, well, he’s no dummy. He’s seen what OCW has become since entering Djibouti. LAWLESS. So he runs forward and he delivers a D-Trigga into the head of Plethora!!! Plethora drops his SCYTHE outside the ring. Duce grabs him by the hood and yanks as hard as he can, pulling the behemoth into the ring. Belvedere scatters and Scruff calls for the bell...the crowd goes wild, clearly behind Duce~
Jones: Duce wasn’t gonna allow Plethora to use that SCYTHE...an act that would normally get him disqualified...but, after what we’ve seen tonight…
Hood: See? Adaptation. Maybe we don’t need a GM.
Jones: We need a GM.
~Duce knees and punches and kicks at the hooded head of Plethora. He seems to be doing some damage, although Plethora remains on his feet, bend over. Suddenly, the might Plethora rises and throws Duce off of him!!! Duce goes flying back into a corner, hitting hard. Plethora stares at him, his cold, grey eyes visible through the darkness underneath his hood. Duce grabs onto the ropes, his eyes a little wide...this isn’t the same man he’s faced three times previously. There’s a different kind of strength underneath that robe. Plethora slowly opens his robe to reveal the OCW Title. Duce eyes it...it’s clear he’s imagined wearing it around his waist. Calmly, Plethora hands the title to Scruff who passes it on to Belvedere~
Jones: Plethora calmly handing his OCW Title over to Scruff.
Hood: It’s tough to gauge what’s going through Plethora’s mind. I mean, he clearly loves murdering people. But, he’s not going to use the OCW Title.
Jones: Part of what makes him so difficult to defeat. He’s not a straight line monster. He zigs and zags.
~Duce hops onto the middle buckle...he leaps off at Plethora...but Plethora extends his hand, wrapping it around Duce’s throat. Duce begins to choke, he tries to break free, but Plethora’s grip is too strong. Plethora hoists Duce up for a chokeslam...but Duce wraps his legs around Plethora’s arm!!! He’s going for an armbar!! Plethora stumbles to his right...Duce is trying to bring him down...it looks like he might pull it off! But, Plethora gathers himself...he lifts his arm up, with Duce wrapped around it and he SLAMS it into the mat, bashing Duce’s back into the canvas!!! The fans wince. Duce arches his back in pain, releasing Plethora’s arm~
Jones: That man is scary, scary strong.
Hood: Yep, but so is BRIM.
Jones: It’s not about BRIM tonight, Hood. It’s about Duce...he’s 0-3 against the man underneath the robe.
Hood: Win or lose, Duce will probably be able to give BRIM some pointers. You’d think.
~Plethora looks down at Duce. He moves for the ropes...he bounces off, the ropes look like they nearly snap. He springs forward and leaps up for a huge splash...but Duce moves!!! Plethora’s mass shakes the ring and the entire country of Djibouti!! Duce rolls away for the ropes, frantically pulling himself up. He knows if Plethora jumps on him, that’s probably lights out. He runs forward with a D-Trigga...but Plethora rises, picking Duce up for a Powerbomb!!! Duce punches Plethora in the head!!! The beast’s grip weakens. Duce leaps over Plethora’s head and he lands on the top buckle behind him. Plethora turns around and Duce jumps off, spinning around and smacking Plethora with a springboard roundhouse kick!!! Plethora staggers, dropping to one knee!! The fans go wild...Duce has him halfway to the mat~
Jones: Great kick by Duce! Plethora is down to one knee...you can’t beat a man if you can’t get that man on the mat...so Duce is halfway there.
Hood: Where’s BRIM? Where’s Byson? Duce would be smart to have some help.
Jones: Duce doesn’t want any help, Hood. If and when he finally beats Bifford...or Plethora, whatever you wanna call him...he wants to do it on his own.
~Jones fires up...he hits the ropes, bounces off and jumps at Plethora for a bulldog! But Plethora catches him, he stands up, secures Duce...he jumps up and CRUSHES him into the mat with a Sidewalk Slam!!!! The fans all exhale, disappointed. Duce rolls around, clutching his abdomen. Plethora sits up, emotionless, still. Before beginning to return to his feet~
Jones: Damn it! It’s just so difficult to get him down...he’s…
Hood: Perilous.
Jones: Not the word I was searching for but, it fits.
~Back on his feet, the giant Plethora grabs Duce by the back of the neck, yanking him off the mat and to his feet. He slings him into a corner. Duce hits hard. Plethora moves forward and throws a ham sized fist into Duce’s head. Duce nearly collapses to the mat, but Plethora keeps him standing. Plethora bends over and he drives a shoulder into Duce’s midsection. Duce yells out, his face contorts with pain. Plethora drives another shoulder the size of Rhode Island into Duce’s guts. He then hoists Duce up and turns around...he heads for the center of the ring and he SLAMS Duce down with an Alabama Slam!!! Duce’s body wrecks against the mat. Plethora drops to both knees and he tosses his massive body over Duce, making the former world champion nearly disappear. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP!
Jones: Somehow Duce was able to squirm a shoulder off the mat underneath six hundred plus pounds of death.
Hood: You think he washes that robe? Or is it all sweaty and smelly?
Jones: I don’t know and I hope to never find out.
~Duce tries to roll away from Plethora, but he grabs Duce by the head and returns to his feet. He pulls Duce up...but Duce fights back! The crowd comes to life as Duce throws a few pounches into Plethora’s endless sea of mass. Punch, punch, punch...Plethora responds with a forearm into Duce’s back, sending the former champion to all fours. Plethora runs into the ropes, he bounces off and he leaps into the air for another splash...but Duce moves!!! Plethora lands on the mat once again, another miss!!! Duce rolls onto the apron and hurries, pulling himself to his feet using the ropes~
Jones: Duce able to evade another devastating Plethora splash! C’mon, Duce...you’re in this!
Hood: Pulling pretty hard for Duce.
Jones: We’ve got the same surname.
Hood: You guys aren’t brothers, are you?
Jones: Brothers from another mother, maybe!
~Jones waits...Plethora gets to his feet, Duce jumps up and springboards off the top rope, he rears back with his arm and he BLASTS Plethora in the face with a springboard flying forearm!!! Plethora stumbles back into the ropes. Duce is back on his feet...he runs into the ropes, he boucnes off and he leaps into the air with a dropkick, kicking Plethora in the head!! Plethora staggers forward, stumbling around the center of the ring. Again, Duce runs at Plethora from behind, going for a Bulldog...and again, Plethora catches him!!! He hoists Duce up, but Duce back flips over, landing on his feet. Plethora turns around and eats a superkick!!! He staggers...Duce jumps up and slams his knee cap into Plethora’s face with a D-Trigga!!! Plethora staggers...the fans clap and stomp, cheering Duce on~
Jones: C’mon brother from another mother! Take him down!
Hood: And you’ve gone full blown Smith. Didn’t take long.
Jones: I’m sorry, Hood. But it’s difficult for me to pull for a man who kills people and turns them into sandwiches that he sells to people.
Hood: So you hate entrepreneuers. Got it.
~Duce jumps up for a Codebreaker...but Plethora catches him and holds him up!! Duce pummels Plethora in the head, knowing he can’t suffer a powerbomb or another high impact blow to the mat. Plethora loses his grip...Duce immediately wraps his legs around Plethora’s head for a Triangle Choke. Plethora stumbles around, the wind being cut off via Duce’s legs. The giant OCW Champion staggers...the fans all stand in anticipation of a great fall. Duce works hard to keep the pressure on, choking this unbeatable nemesis out~
Jones: I don’t care how big you are, Hood. If you can’t breathe, you can’t fight!
Hood: Yes, even mass murderers need oxygen.
Jones: I’m sure that hood doesn’t help, either.
Hood: Wait. Plethora is wearing a Hood. Duce is a Jones. This is kinda like me versus YOU.
Jones: Uh, sure.
Hood: Where’s my knife.
Jones: NO!
~Plethora drops to one knee!!! The fans go wild!! The beast is falling!! Duce is sweating profusely, trying to choke this fucker out. Plethora’s remaining foot begins to shake...it quivers. He’s about to fall to both knees. Duce yells out, applying as much pressure as he can...Plethora starts to lean...but he rises!! The monster rises once again!!! He gets to his feet, holding Duce high to drive him into the mat!! Duce releases his hold and he dives down Plethora’s back for a Sunset Flip!! Plethora jumps up to squash Duce...but Duce moves!!! Plethora’s ass lands on the mat. Duce returns to his feet...he hits the ropes, he flies at Plethora and he bashes him in the face with a D-Trigga!!!! Plethora lays out!! Duce jumps on top of him for the pin! The crowd goes wild!! Scruff dives in~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: Plethora with a huge kick out!
Hood: Haha, man! Not gonna lie, Duce had me thinking he might pull it off.
Jones: It’s not over yet, Hood. Never underestimate a Jones!
~Duce is thrown several feet off of and away from Plethora. He rolls toward the ropes, returning to his feet. Plethora sits up and glares at Duce from across the ring, his cold grey eyes envisioning Duce’s flesh turning into hundreds of sandwiches. He might even create a special sauce for these sandwiches...Jonesup or Ducestard...who knows?! Plethora returns to his feet...Duce takes off and flies at Plethora with a SUPERMAN PUNCH!!! Plethora falls into the ropes. He bounces forward...Duce hits the ropes, flies forward and leaps into the air with another SUPERMAN PUNCH!!! Plethora is staggered! Duce hits the ropes...Plethora drops to one knee...Duce has to alter his attack, he dives at Plethora, flipping over for a cannonball...but Plethora catches him and rises!!! The fans all yell! Plethora has him in position for THE PLETH END~
Jones: NO!
Hood: DROP HIM ON HIS HEAD!
Jones: Fight, Duce! FIGHT!
Hood: Whoa, fight in all caps? Bro, that’s a cursed word.
~Duce gets a leg free and he kicks Plethora in the face once, twice, THREE times!! Plethora is, again, staggered. Duce wraps his legs around Plethora’s head and he swings his body around, tossing Plethora head first into the top buckle with a hurricanrana!!!! Plethora SLAMS into the corner...the entire ring shakes and, probably, shifts! Duce slides across the mat, into the ropes. He pulls himself up and he runs forward, punching Plethora in the back and chopping him across his shoulders~
Jones: He survived, whew. Now, Duce is unloading on Plethora with a vicious array of punches and chops.
Hood: Yea, but to the back. Gotta turn that dude around and hit him in the nose.
Jones: Easier said than done...he turns Plethora around and the OCW Champion will be able to get his hands on Duce.
Hood: Can’t fight scared and win, Jones.
~Duce drills Plethora in the back of the head with a stiff forearm. Plethora suddenly turns around and shoves Duce away. But, Duce isn’t gonna relent...he runs forward and kicks Plethora in the gut. He then SMACKS him in the side of the head with a Roundhouse Kick!! The monstrous Plethora fires forward!!! He’s wounded and dangerous...he fires forward and gets his hands on Duce, bullying him across the ring and into a corner...Duce can’t do anything to stop this freight train like momentum. Plethora gets Duce in the corner and his murderous hands try to wrap themselves around Duce’s throat~
Jones: Ah no! Duce is in bad shape! Plethora is gonna try to choke him out...maim him...something!
Hood: I don’t know why Duce does this to himself. Man, go challenge Zybala again or maybe even TLS. But leave Plethora alone...LEAVE HIM ALONE
Jones; Zybala has inspired people, Hood. That no-quit, never say die attitude. It’s infectious. The true warriors in OCW don’t run from a challenge, they meet it head on.
~Duce knows he can’t let Plethora get his ham hands around his throat. He leans in with a headbutt...skull meets chin. Plethora pauses. Duce delivers another headbutt, this time skull meets skull! Plethora stumbles back. Duce leans into the corner, headbutts work both ways, unfortunately. Plethora shakes it off and moves back toward Duce...but Duce steps up and kicks off the corner with another SUPERMAN PUNCH!!! Plethora staggers back!! The fans go wild “DUCE! DUCE! DUCE!”~
Jones: Look at him fight! Look at him...he’s not quitting!
Hood: Dude’s giving it everything he’s got. You’re all seeing why Duce is one of the greatest wrestlers in this sport.
Jones: Proud to be a Jones!
~Duce punches Plethora in the head...again and again and again...each punch sends Plethora staggering back. Duce jumps up and dropkicks Plethora in the face!!! SMACK!!! Plethora falls back into the corner. The crowd goes wild...Duce pops back to his feet and he moves forward. He grabs Plethora by the arms and he pulls him forward with a ripcord headbutt!!! CRACK!!! Plethora drops to one knee...Duce stumbles back, managing to hold onto one of Plethora’s arms~
Jones: Duce of Clubs!! He’s about to hit Duce of Clubs to break the streak!
Hood: Well, he needs to shake that headbutt off...those previous two headbutts didn’t do him any favors.
Jones: C’mon, Duce!! Fight through it...you’re almost there!
~Duce shakes it off! The crowd chants ‘DUCE!!!’ he fires up and grabs Plethora’s other arm...he leaps forward with a Vicious Knee Strike to culminate the finishing sequence he calls Duce of Clubs!!!! But Plethora dodges the knee and he picks Duce up on his shoulder!! The crowd yells! Duce tries to fight free...Plethora stumbles...it’s clear his head is swimming. Duce throws some elbow into the back of Plethora’s head. Plethora stumbles...he drops to one knee...Duce gets free...Duce lifts a knee into Plethora’s face!!! Plethora drops to his knees for the first time all night!!! The crowd goes wild. Duce hits the ropes~
Jones: Plethora is finally down to his knees! Duce almost has this giant tree of a man chopped down to size!
Hood: I’m no Duce fan but, shit, he’s giving it all he’s got. Fighting Plethora is a fuckin ridiculous task.
Jones: That it is!
~Duce fires off and he leaps at Plethora with Krayzed Knee!!! Plethora leans back...Duce misses. Duce keeps running...he hits the ropes, he bounces off...he rushes at Plethora and leaps at him, wrapping his legs around Plethora’s head for a Hurricanrana head spike (or whatever you call it)!!! Plethora stands!!! Duce swings around...Plethora swings with him, while on his feet…Duce fights like hell to send him tumbling…but Plethora seems to be gaining strength...they spin and spin...Plethora finally grabs hold of Duce...he jumps up and he drops him with THE PLETH END!!!! The entire venue shakes!!! Duce is down! Plethora pins him...Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...the OCW Champion...PLETHORA THE PERILOUS!!!!!
Jones: Damn it!
Hood: Plethora wins again!
Jones: Arghhh...so disappointing. Geesh.
Hood: Who better than Plethora? NOBODY
Jones: Can’t stand that man, for obvious reasons...but it’s pretty clear he’s where he’s at in this profession for a reason. He’s damn near unbeatable.
Hood: 4-0 against Duce! FOUR AND ZERO!
~Plethora returns to his feet...he bends over, holding his head. He’s won, but not without some wounds. He stands back up and sees Duce on the mat...we can’t really see his expression, but it’s clear he’s no finished~
Jones: Oh come on.
Hood: Plethora the Plenty...or whatever. He always wants MOAR
~Plethora grabs Scruff and points toward the bell~
Jones: He wants to restart the match...he wants to pin Duce again. This is ridiculous!
Hood: Time to take out the trash, haha!
Jones: Duce is NOT trash!
~The crowd pops!! Our view expands to reveal BRIM!!!! The fans go wild!! BRIM is in the ring!! Plethora turns around and gets run over by a clothesline from BRIM!!! The entire ring shakes!!! The people of Djibouti chant “YES! YES!”~
Jones: BRIM just took Plethora down with ONE clothesline!
Hood: HOLY SHIT
~BRIM helps Duce up. Duce takes a moment to gather his bearings. He looks down and sees Plethora sitting up. He hits the ropes, looking to blast him with KRAYZED KNEE...but Plethora drops back to the mat and he rolls out of the ring!! The fans BOOOO!!! Plethora hits the ground and he stumbles back. BRIM heads for the ropes, pointing and yelling...he urges Plethora to get back in the ring~
Jones: Oh, no he’s ready to leave.
Hood: I think he has a very important business meeting he can’t be late for, Jones.
Jones: You know what? I think he fears BRIM.
Hood: Bullshit.
~Duce steps on the ropes with BRIM next to him...he motions for Plethora to get back in the ring. Plethora backs away and he grabs his SCYTHE and glares up at BRIM and Duce. They aren’t backing down...they are unafraid~
Jones: Is he gonna re-enter with that SCYTHE. My gosh, we need security out here...this could get horrific.
Hood: Yea, I’m pulling for Plethora but I’m not sure I want to see him slice up two of our best wrestlers on OCW Television.
Jones: Wow, I’m happy to hear you say that.
Hood: Hey, I said I wasn’t sure. I didn’t completely rule it out.
~Plethora, holding his SCYTHE, turns around and he leaves. The fans BOOO!!! BRIM and Duce nod their heads like “That’s what I thought.”~
Jones: And Plethora is absconding from the scene.
Hood: Given the heat that’s on him, murdering two men on global television is probably not the best course of action.
Jones: Truth. He’ll get his chance to get revenge on BRIM in two weeks when they face off at Big Game Hunting.
Hood: So hyped for that match...SO HYPED!
~ Camera is backstage after CJ is still sweaty and agitated from his match with Zybala. He's still full of energy. He pulls out the golden phone and dials. He waits patiently as he puts the phone call on speaker so we can finally get the answer to the question. Who is the person behind the Golden Phone … ~
GOLDEN PHONE: Welsh?
~A modified voice asks~
CJ O’Donnell: CJ O’Donnell.
~Silence for a moment~
GOLDEN PHONE: Where’s Welsh?
CJ O’Donnell: Forget about Welsh. Who the FOOK are you?
~Silence and a sigh~
GOLDEN PHONE: A blessing… and a curse.
~Awkward silence~
CJ O’Donnell: Don’t you know who I am and what I am capable of doing to you once you show your ugly mug? I will destroy you and everything you stand for.
GOLDEN PHONE: Good luck.
CJ O’Donnell: I really don’t care who you are. I want to know why did you want to help Marcus and the entire OCW roster off that island? What is the end game?
GOLDEN PHONE: Never mind the why’s, CJ. The end game?
~The voice chuckles to himself~
GOLDEN PHONE: That’s for me to know and you to find out the same way everyone else does.
CJ O’Donnell: Interesting. Anyway, the next question … When are you going to reveal yourself to the world?
GOLDEN PHONE: It was nice talking to you CJ.
~Click~
CJ O’Donnell: Are you fooking kidding me??? You hung up on me … you have some balls and when we come face to face I am gonna show you just how dangerous I can be …
~CJ slings the golden phone to the floor, furious. We get a brief flash of the PURGED mask before Massacre comes to an end~