LIVE! April 4th 2022
FROM The Island
STATUS: Where are we?!
~We’re on ISLAND TIME. Typically, that means kicking back and relaxing with an adult beverage while a bunch of decent looking women wearing next to nothing parade their way around you. Sun shining down. Cool breeze keeping the temperature just right. Not a care in the world. Ah, yes, Island Time. Or, well, what most places experience when they’re on ISLAND TIME. When OCW is on Island Time, well, it’s more like an all hands on deck, holy shit let’s not die type of situation. Yes, the plane went down. No, we have no idea where. Some think it’s ‘Australia’ others are pretty sure it’s some random island in the middle of nowhere. Either way, OCW and it’s staff are marooned. Stuck. Abandoned. Rations and supplies won’t last forever. Welsh and co have got to get these people to safety before time runs out. But, in true OCW fashion, to ensure the fans get what they want...the show will go on. So, despite the trials and tribulations, OCW janitor Gregory Poblano located a clearing wide enough to erect a ring. A cell phone camera has been set up to film the action. Wrestlers will compete. Wrestlers and staff will stand around and watch. It’s gonna be different. It’s gonna be strange. But, most important, it’s gonna be CLASSIC OCW, BABY. So, let’s get to it...the road to Technical Difficulties begins NOW~
Jones: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre, I’m your host Jones and, yes, I’m shouting while standing next to a cell phone which is filming this action.
Hood: Are we even live?
Jones: I’m told that we are. Or, we think we are. Well, basically, we don’t know. But, we’re going to do everything we can to honor the contract we’ve signed with whoever airs this show and all of our advertisers.
Hood: Tremendous. We should probably get off of Youtube and get back on a real network, shouldn’t we?
Jones: I’ve been told that’s in the works. STARZ is back in the running.
Hood: Oh yea we were great on STARZ.
Jones: Anyway, enough talk about networks, nobody really cares about that, do they, Hood?
Hood: Nah, people in this world who get hung up on networks are fuckin nerds.
Jones: I’d say so!
Hood: Good to see you back, by the way. Was a dick move, you running out on me last week.
Jones: I’m not Smith. He didn’t board the plane.
Hood: Shut up, ‘Smith’.
Jones: My name is JONES
Hood: Whatever, Smith. Just call the action.
Jones: Regardless of the circumstance surrounding us, I’m THRILLED to be back on as the Play by Play man! Folks, we’re on an island. There may or may not be a sasquatch running around. There may or may not be cannibals. There, also, may or may not be wild cannabis.
Hood: Let me save you the trouble. There may or may not be ALOT of things going on right now.
Jones: True. But, one thing you can count on is that MASSACRE is back on the air!
~We cut to a clearing in the jungle. The OCW ring is set up. There’s about 10 or so feet between the ring and a bunch of bushes with palm trees towering over. Basically, the jungle surrounds. The OCW crew and roster surround the ring, all holding tiki torches of their own to provide illumination, along with a bright moon and some stars high above. It’s a very primal setting. It feels dark. It feels unpredictable. A slightly macabre feel. Belvedere is in the ring, his suit torn and tattered, but his hair in immaculate condition. Scruff is about the only person who looks right at home, given the conditions~
Jones: That looks pretty close to normal.
Hood: LOL yea right. I mean, if OCW had wrestling matches during OCW Survivor, MAYBE. But this is fuckin wild, man. A fuckin jaguar could literally leap into that ring during a match.
Jones: Well, it’s a good thing BRIM is here, then.
Hood: Truth.
Jones: Fans, we’ve got four solid matches and one spectacular main event. Our first ever FIRE IS LIFE match.
Hood: So they gotta extinguish the tiki torch in their opponent’s corner and, once they do, they can then go for the win?
Jones: That is correct! Wow, Hood. You already knew that...I’m impressed!
Hood: Well, I mean, there ain’t shit else to do out here.
Jones: Fans, if you're out there, we've got a big night ahead so let's not waste any time! Let's get this party started!
~The camera fades in and you are somewhere in Australia. Wilderness surrounds you. You can see miles and miles across the horizon. You see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell shirtless with a pair of blue sweatpants on. ~
CJ O’Donnell: This is some real bullshit. It’s hot as fooking balls here. My ring gear is somewhere on the plane. Who the FOOK knows where that is? If I didn’t follow that stoopid kangaroo out here maybe … just maybe … I wouldn’t be lost … this feels like OCW Survivor all over again … now all I need is a stoopid monkey to start harassing me …
~ All of a sudden, CJ hears a noise and he turns around to see Easton Alexander. CJ looks past him and sees that same kangaroo that has been taunting him this whole week. He puts a hand on his lips to tell him to stay very quiet. Easton looks very confused as CJ pulls out the machete again. He crouches down and slowly approaches towards the kangaroo.~
CJ O’Donnell: Be very quiet. I’m hunting kangaroos…
Alexander: …You know you can just walk up to them right… if you're confident they just kinda let you, here watch this shit.
~Alexander stands up and walks over to the Kangaroo, who does not look frightened… but not comfortable either. Easton gets close enough to the point where he reaches out and touches the damn thing, placing a hand on the kangaroo's head, it leans into the hand ever so slightly.~
Alexander: THAN YOU DO ONE OF THESE!
~Easton tucks the Kangaroos head under his arm and puts it in suplex position, alexander postures and tries to lift but the kangaroo reverses the momentum and plants alexander with a snap suplex. The Animal hops away as Alexander sits up, dazed and confused.~
Alexander: *Sharp exhale* oooooooo that fucking sucked.
~CJ looks down at Alexander and sees the kangaroo hopping away. CJ extends his hand to help Easton up.~
CJ O’Donnell: Do you hear that obnoxious signing.
~ Easton looks at CJ a bit perplexed and he dust himself off. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Confidence will only get you so far in life. It’s also about strategy and how quick you are to react just in case something goes wrong. You can’t just stand there like a deer in the headlights and not move. If you see an opportunity you only have one choice. You pounce on that motha fooker and start pounding away. Ask questions later …
~ A smirk forms on the face of The Distinguished. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Which is exactly what I did to TIO. No one expected it. They forgot my name. They forgot just what I am capable of. When you're weak, you act strong. And when you're strong, pretend to be weak. The enemy does not expect it.
Alexander: CJ, I respect the hell outta you, and on monday I'm looking forward to seeing you do what you do best up close, you and bob. but if you're trying to lecture me… save it for someone who needs it. Your problems with TIO have nothing to do with me, i just want to get my mind off this fucking island and get back home. People keep telling me that I've got potential and that “im a future star”. I'm looking to prove that I have what it takes right now, DO NOT make me sit on the apron all match CJ, let me mix it up with Kelson and tio….. And especially Mark Storm. Let's whoop some ass, yeah?
~Easton extends his hands, looking for a handshake. CJ looks down at Alexander’s hand and then back at him.~
CJ O’Donnell: Mister Alexander it wasn’t a lecture sir. It was me giving you wisdom, that's all. No disrespect to you. You can whoop anyones arse. I will not stop you from choosing violence. I’ve heard the hype and I see the potential in you. You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger. I am willing to guide you down the path of violence but my question to you is are you ready to be hated by everyone. .
~ Easton looks dejected… He can't understand why CJ would ask this kind of question~
Alexander: Guide me… this may just be the week we have spent on this island talking, But that doesn't sound too bad CJ, but i don't want to be hated by everyone, i didn't feel good being booed at LOTV, i felt like i should have been the one getting cheered, not him. But I'm on the fence about it, CJ.
~O’Donnell takes a few steps back. ~
CJ O’Donnell: HOLY FOOK … how the hell can a skunk survive in this desert heat.
~Alexander looks around and doesn’t see any animals in the area but the kangaroo and he is off in the distance hopping around. ~
CJ O’Donnell: You don’t smell that?
~Easton shakes his head no and goes to speak by The Distinguished One cuts him off once Alexander opens his mouth ~
CJ O’Donnell: Anyway … Easton once the people turn on you it’s over. You will have to basically draw blood from a stone to get back on their good side. So ask yourself is it really worth it? Or would you rather be feared and respected in the back? The option is yours …
Alexander: Shit… Lets pick up a win, and we can talk afterwards. Sounds good?
CJ O’Donnell: You got yourself a deal.
~ In the distance you see Bob Grenier walking towards Easton and CJ. Grenier is walking to the beat of his own drum and seems to be smoking something as you see a cloud of smoke around him. The Distinguished looks at Easton and then looks at Grenier who is enjoying his Mary Jane. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Wait, is this a mirage?
~ Grenier and Easton stand there about six feet about and stare at each other and then look back at CJ.~
CJ O’Donnell: I really need to get out of this sun. I’m seeing double. This is some sort of twin magic or some shit and I don’t like it one bit.
~ Easton and Grenier stare at one another and both shrug. CJ rubs his eyes and still sees double. He shakes his head. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Ah FOOK it. I hate this land of make believe. I can’t wait to get back to reality.
~And, with that, we cut to a ‘commercial’ which is basically the cell phone lingering on an OCW product for a few seconds~
Dylan Thomas (12-5) vs. Chetty Moletty (0-1)
~Chetty Moletty is in the ring, stroking what looks to be a baby bird. While stroking the bird he sings “IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE SOMEBODY’S GETTING THE D TONIGHT!!” The bird flaps its wings, trying to get away, but Chetty’s aggressive flesh grabbers won’t let the bird loose. Belvedere is disgusted by a lot these days...what, with having to take a shit in the woods...but nothing is more disgusting than the creep standing near him in the ring~
Belvedere: Ugh. Chetty. Ugh. Moletty.
~He can barely utter the man’s name. Chetty cackles while stroking the distressed bird~
Jones: Somebody needs to rescue that bird.
Hood: It’s just a bird. Who the fuck cares. I’m tired of birds.
Jones: That bird is innocent.
Hood: How do you know? He could have swooped down and eaten some mother’s baby fish. He could be a baby killer.
Jones: That’s the circle of life, Hood.
Hood: Yea, well you could argue Chetty’s Moletty hands are part of the ‘circle’ of life...doing what nature intended.
Jones: Uh, no.
~'Watch Me Shine' – Fozzy sounds out from someone’s still functioning cell phone. There’s no actual service, they must have just downloaded a bunch of OCW music to their phone. Illegally, probably. Anyway, their criminal activities are paying off tonight as Dylan Thomas emerges from the woods with Lissandra at his side. They look a little worse for wear...but, this beats just kinda sitting around in the dirt. Dylan reaches the ring and looks up at Chetty and the bird. Lissandra shakes her head, “You need to save that bird.” Dylan nods~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Hollywood, California...standing 6’2 and weighing in at 225lbs...he is ‘Perfection Personified’...he is a former OCW Craze Champion...he is...Dylan Thomas!!!
~Belvedere does a tremendous job shouting out the entrances based off memory, sans mic. He exits leaving just Scruff and the two wrestlers in the ring. Dylan eyeing Chetty with disdain. Scruff looks around waiting for a bell to sound...finally, The Knife Man raises his knife and he yells out, “DING DING!” Scruff nods and slaps his hands together, signifying that we’re underway~
Jones: Okay, so it appears as though The Knife Man is our verbal time keeper.
Hood: Making a lot of chicken salad tonight.
Jones: That we are.
Hood: Making a whole lot of lemonade.
Jones: I think we got it the first time.
~Dylan approaches Chetty, “Give me the bird you filthy molester.” Chetty laughs, flashing his gnarly, yellow teeth. He brings the bird up for a kiss. “Don’t do it, Chetty!” Chetty sticks his tongue out...the bird opens its mouth and it bites Chetty’s tongue!!! Chetty drops the bird and screams, bending over...the bird maintaining its grip on Chetty’s tongue. Once free, the bird lets go and flies away! Chetty holds his mouth, blood leaking through his fingers, his tongue lacerated by the bird’s beak~
Jones: Good for the bird!
Hood: I don’t know why Chetty is surprised. That’s got to be a pretty standard reaction whenever he goes in for a full-on tongue kiss.
Jones: I wish we’d fire this guy.
Hood: Yea, he needs to be purged.
~Dylan reaches forward with a full on open handed slap into Chetty’s face. Blood flies from his mouth, staining the dirt outside the ring. Dylan brings him in...he’s tired, he’s hungry, he’s fatigued...he doesn’t wanna make this go any longer than it has to. He tosses Chetty up and brings him down with Perfect Finisher!!! Chetty’s body bounces high into the air before he flips over and lands on his back, holding his midsection in pain. Lissandra claps. Dylan makes the cover...Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...DYLAN THOMAS!!!!!
Jones: Easy win for Dylan Thomas as he continues to stay strong.
Hood: Gotta conserve that energy, Smith. No telling how long we’re gonna be out here. The longer the match, the less likely you’ll be able to rebound for the next event.
Jones: Good point. And, again, I’m Jones.
Hood: Stop playing your games, Smith.
~We get a shot of Welsh in the woods, taking a leak. He pisses against a tree, enjoying the process when a rustling bush catches his attention. He turns and sees~
Marcus Welsh: HOLY SHIT
Hairy Creature: Relax, bud.
Marcus Welsh: Are you...are you the Sasquatch?
Hairy Creature: Listen, man. I’m just here to tell you that Kelson will be ready for his match tonight.
Marcus Welsh: So Kelson is safe?
Hairy Creature: MHM
~The creature and his black eyes stare at Welsh. Welsh stares back, holding his dick in his hands~
Marcus Welsh: Are we alone? What island is this? Is there anyway we can get off this island?
~The Hairy Creature turns and runs back into the bushes, laughing~
Marcus Welsh: Wait! Come back! I...DAMNIT
~Welsh looks down...he got some piss on his shoes. We cut to another ‘commercial’~
~BRIM seems exhausted as he continues to follow the sasquatch through the jungle. He looks up into the night sky, noticing that there are spotlights and tiki torches illuminating a specific area. BRIM pats the sasquatch on the shoulder.~
BRIM: I believe that that could be them set up over there.
~The sasquatch grunts, nodding his head and stopping. The sasquatch points in the directions of the lighting, guiding BRIM down a makeshift path through the tall trees. BRIM extends his hand out for the sasquatch to shake~
BRIM: It’s been nice getting to know you and I appreciate all of the help that you and your family have given me over these past few days. I promise if I ever have kids, I’m going to tell them about you guys.
~The sasquatch grunts once more, extending his hand out and grabs BRIM’s forearm in an old fashioned shake. The two then fist bump and go their separate ways. BRIM towards the lights while the sasquatch heads back deeper into the forest. BRIM moves shrubbery out of his way, looking to hurriedly make it to his destination. As he gets closer, he begins to hear the sounds of people enjoying a show, which puts him at ease~
BRIM: This has to be them, I haven’t seen any actual human life since I’ve been here.
~He makes it closer, soon stepping out as he sees Hood and Jones positioned near a cell phone secured to a bamboo stick, pointed at the ring. Now knowing where he is, not mentally but physically, BRIM maneuvers around the setup trying to find himself a seat at ringside so that he can enjoy the rest of the show with his co-workers~
Jones: BRIM has found us!
Hood: Thank goodness. What’s up with the sasquatch he was following...that looked a lot different than the one Welsh encountered.
Jones: Are you saying all Sasquatches look alike?
Hood: Uh, no, definitely not.
Jones: Good. Alright fans, it’s time for our next match as Mike Zybala, fresh from the future, returns to action against Renee McRae!
~Wow! I don't know about you, but I cannot believe that just happened! That was wild!! Anyways, we go back ringside to see Renee McRae already standing there next to Belvedere. He seems to have just finished her introduction and she gets some mild applause from the locals. I still refuse to believe they're "Australian." Conspiracy theories aside, the piano intro of "Dream Weaver" starts playing and the crowd bursts into cheers!~
Belvedere: And her opponent… hailing from Buffalo, New York… he is the greatest OCW wrestler never to win a title…. Mike Zybala!!
~The staff cheers louder as Zybala jumps from the jungle with a SUPERKICK and starts heading to the ring. Despite the weather, he is in jeans and an original Mighty Morphin Green Ranger hoodie. Or Zyuuranger if you're a Super Sentai fan~
~He walks to the ring, high fiving random people along the way~
Hood: What is with this guy and wearing hoodies in warm weather?
Jones: Maybe he's always cold?
Hood: But he's from Buffalo. BUFFALO! Those freaks go out in 30 degree weather and 2 feet of snow in shorts and flip flops!
Jones: Maybe he's impervious to temperature?
Hood: Fucking ghosts…
Jones: What?!
Hood: never mind…
~Zybala enters the ring and Belvedere leaves. Scruff calls for the bell and Renee looks ready to lock up. Zybala holds his arms up peacefully and this confuses and stops McRae. Zybala walks over and begins talking to her. We can't really hear what's his saying, but we can make out a few words like "future" and "horrors." The more Zybala talks, the more McRae looks sickened. He looks sad as he recounts the sights he seen, and we can hear Zybala talk about McRae's lack of a career. He seems to convince her to lay down for the good of her future as Renee lays down on the mat. Zybala gently places a hand over her shoulder as a confused Scruff makes a three count. McRae then rolls out of the ring and throws up due to the horrendous future she heard about. She catches her breath before making her way away from the ring. As a very disgruntled Poblano makes his way to the ring to clean the mess, Zybala gets handed a microphone~
Zybala: You know, there has been something that has been grinding my gears for a while now. While Poblano here had me captive, he let me watch both future and past Massacre episodes. Lately, there has been a group of people talking about how they are new and improved… How they are going to take what they want… How they are….Worthy! They are going to prove their worth by being the most dominant collective of blah blah blah blah. You all know the routine and speech by now. We've heard it a billion times. Half of that billion consists of every PerZag return.
Now, what makes these guys worthy? Is it moaning and complaining that they can't get a break so they have to make their own breaks? Or is it out-living your entertainment value? Or is it having the most combined farewells and comebacks in wrestling history? Hell, PerZag treats OCW like an ex that he calls up for a random hookup every few months. He sticks around, makes pretty promises, then leaves when he gets bored. Now, I may not have any title wins like he or The Dravers do, but at least I'm always here for OCW. I have never given any farewell speech here. I have always treated OCW as a long term relationship unlike an infrequent booty call like "The Worthy" do. I AM OCW faithful now and forever!
~The crowd cheers at this. Zybala continues.~
Zybala: So if we're keeping count, PerZag and Jon and Nate treat OCW like a revolving door, act like whiny assholes for not being able to win the titles, jumping Alice and C.J. from behind and still not getting the job done, and not being relevant anymore. If all that stuff is what it takes to make someone "Worthy", ya'll can consider me… UNWORTHY and damn proud of it!!
~Zybala then unzips his hoodie, revealing a brand new shirt underneath before leaving the ring and heading to the jungle.~
Jones: A tremendous shirt and likely soon-to-be best seller!
Hood: I like how he's got a brand new shirt out here on this island. We sure he isn't still TIME TRAVELING?
Jones: The Portal Potty is here but it's chained up. Too dangerous to use, Hood.
~The fans would go wild cause it’s fucking the Cowgirls From Hell in Gator Bait cosplay (well, Meghan that is, Tamika is just Tamika WHICH IS ENOUGH!). A large fire roars as Meghan turns the spit with a giant alligator on it, cooking the swamp beast up for the crew. She knows OUTCAST is out hunting the fattest boar any of them have ever seen, but in the meantime, motherly instincts.~
Hood: Man, I’m starving.
Jones: I think Meghan Strader caught an alligator.
Hood: I’m not blind, Smith. I can see the OCWtron!
Jones: My name is Jo– never mind.
~Tamika slides her arm around her sister’s shoulders looking at the Alligator cooking away.~
Tamika: How’s that gator coming? The ring crew is starving.
Meghan: By the end of the show we’ll be eating.
Tamika: Where did you learn how to hunt, capture and cook alligators?
Meghan: Before we found out we were Straders, the old man used to take me to Louisiana to see Grampa Nash, and that’s what he did.
~Tamika raises her brow, nods, and makes a rainbow gesture with her hand.~
Tamika: The more you know! You know you still haven’t said anything…
~Tamika looks at her, as she rubs the faceplate of her CRAZE CHAMPIONSHIP around her waist. Meghan scoffs.~
Meghan: Yes I did, I said I was proud of you.
Tamika: Yeah, in a tweet. Are you actually ok with this?
Meghan: Yeah, of course. I am proud of you. You did what I never could do, and you did it on the anniversary of dad’s passing. He’s smiling up at us, or rather, you and Vee right now.
~The sisters laugh at the morbidness of thinking their father is in hell, but if you knew Scott Nash Strader, you know he would’ve befriended Big Bifford.~
Tamika: Speaking of Vee, let’s go check on the PORTAL POTTY!
~The sisters leave and out from the bushes comes BOB GRENIER and THE LOCKWOOD PARTY.~
Bob Grenier: That’s it boys. Dissension in the ranks of the precious Cowgirls From Hell. They don’t want to pay us? Fine, let’s make them hurt.
~The three men nod and smile as we move back to ringside.~
Jones: Well it seems Bob Grenier and The Lockwood Party have it out for CFH.
Hood: Well, that’s what happens when you disrespect GREATNESS!
Jones: Or maybe they don’t want to pay outrageous salaries. Don’t you have a big outrageous salary as well?
~Hood’s eyes go wide and looks around nervously.~
Hood: No! Well, not as ridiculous as Grenier’s. Don’t not pay me, Strader ladies. I love you all. ALL PROUD AND STRONG!
Catch the replay of Luck of the Violent for the ULTRA LOW PRICE of $69.69!!!!
The Lost Stranger (13-4) vs. Dane Princeton (0-1)
~Dane Princeton is in the ring yelling about how much money he makes and about how all the ‘efed’ ladies dig his vibe. He rubs his belly and says something about lobster mac and cheese. Again, Belvedere looks more than a little annoyed…I mean, these conditions...stranded, standing next to blithering idiots. It takes its toll~
Belvedere: Standing in the ring...Dane Princeton.
~Dane Princeton yells ‘THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT! IM THE MAN!’ The roster boos and throws half eaten crab shells at him. He picks them up and screams, “THIS BETTER NOT BE NO IMITATION CRAB MEAT!”~
Jones: It’s been well documented that Dane Princeton is scared to death of imitation crab meat.
Hood: Irrational fears are the best.
Jones: Fortunately, seeing as we’re on an island, I doubt there’ll be any imitation crab meat out here.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The OCW employee begins rocking “I’ll be watching you” on his phone. Everybody standing around the ring takes a quick, nervous glance over their shoulder...it is the jungle. It is dark. They do hear noises. Are they being WATCHED? Leo jumps when TLS emerges from the bushes behind him and heads into the orange hued, fire lit area surrounding the ring. Dane is on one knee, sniffing the crab meat in the ring~
Belvedere: From Parts Unknown, standing 6’3 and weighing in at 235lbs...he is a former OCW Craze Champion...he is The Lost Stranger!!!
~Belvedere exits. Scruff points at The Knife Man. The Knife Man points his giant blade at Scruff and yells out “DING! DING!” and we’re underway!!~
Jones: TLS facing the dreaded white knight, Dane Princeton.
Hood: He’s a super white knight. Just like the crab meat he enjoys. You think he likes white chicken meat?
Jones: I wouldn’t know. Why don’t you ask him?
Hood: That would require talking to the goof. No thanks.
~TLS stands over Princeton. Princeton sniffs the crab meat, trying to figure out if it’s real or not. TLS finally says, “That’s imitation crab meat.” Princeton freezes. He stands up, scared to death that his hand has touched IMITATION CRAB MEAT. He looks up and TLS boots him in the dick. TLS then takes him over with his ROLLUP OF DEATH!!! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~Knifey gives us a bell ring~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...THE LOST STRANGER!!!!!
Jones: TLS with a quick and easy win over Dane Princeton.
Hood: The imitation crab meat strikes again!
Jones: His fear of imitation crab meat held him back.
Hood: He’s got a phobia for it.
Jones: Does such a phobia exist?
Hood: Yes, it’s called Doucheaphobia.
Jones: Well, it certainly sounds like something he’d have.
~We cut elsewhere to the island to where Wilson is looking into the camera with a smile. Who is WILSON? He’s OCW’s new backstage bitch now that Jones has taken Smith’s place. Wilson looks exactly like Jones and Smith~
Wilson: Hey fans! I -
????:Jonesey!!
Wilson: Huh? What...my name isn’t-
~**THWACK** A SEEING DOUBLE right to Wilson’s face.~
Jonathan: You damn fucking right! You’ve gotta take your medicine!
Nathan: Three fucking times now. THREE TIMES!
~Nathan looks down at Wilson with a smirk while holding up three fingers~
Nathan: You’d think he would fucking learn.
~Jonathan scoffs~
Jonathan: You’d think they would all fucking learn.
~The twins turn to the camera~
Jonathan: When are you going to realise that the PURE WORTH movement is real?! This isn’t some stupid cult. This isn’t a group of kids playing around. As PerZag said last week at Luck of the Violent, all he’s trying to do - all WE’RE trying to do is HELP you people… see light at the end of a very dark tunnel! But all you do is BOO us for it. Honestly bro, I don’t know why we bother.
Nathan: We bother… because we are better than those people. Better than everyone watching tonight. Better than the GODS themselves!
~The twins laugh and Seeing Double the camera - again and we head back to Jones and Hood~
Jones: AH!
Hood: Man, they thought that new guy was you.
Jones: He looks nothing like me.
Hood: You guys look EXACTLY alike. Where the fuck do we find you guys? Is there an assembly line of generic announcers in Key West?
Jones: Well, I feel bad for Wilson. First night on the job and he gets that as his welcome. Those Dravers are out of control.
Hood: Love em!
~We see an old, worn down wrestling ring, clearly in disrepair, the building housing it is also abandoned and filthy. Cobwebs up in the corner, old metal chairs almost rusted in place. The ring ropes are loose and not hooked up to the turnbuckles properly, and thus are draped around the mat in a limp, sad fashion~
Narrator: To many, the ring is considered sacred ground. In some cultures, it is seen as an arena where gladiators test their mettle. To others, it is the temple where a sacrifice of pain and blood creates something divine, and profound.
~We pan closer to the ring, and we see inside that wrestling ring, a circle of salt within the square. In the blurry background, we see dots of flames that look like they might be lit candles, or might be burning incense. Either way, some sort of ritual is clearly trying to take place.~
Narrator: Nothing is sacred. Institutions considered holy, all have skeletons buried in their pasts, and professional wrestling or 'sports entertainment' is no different. The weak are hazed, bullied, cowed, chewed up and spat out. They give until they have nothing except their lives...and sometimes not even then.
~We zoom in on the circle of salt. As we do so, suddenly something seems to 'cut' through the air, slicing into the circle and instantly, the flickering flames in the background all go dark as if blown out. The arena is plunged into darkness, and we can hear nothing except breathing that grows heavier and heavier~
Narrator: Nothing is sacred. Next Massacre we will see that nothing stays buried forever. And some skeletons...hold grudges.
~We cut away~
Jones: And we're back! Interesting video package.
Hood: Man, not only are we on a creepy island but we got even creepier people scheduled to debut! We're not in Key West anymore, Smith.
Jones: Again, it's JONES! Talent continues to work their way into OCW. They see wrestlers like Kelson Hewitt and Easton Alexander making a name for themselves and they want to join the party!
Hood: It's tough going in OCW. But, it's worth it, if you can stick it out.
Jones: Yep. Well, up next is a tag team match featuring two wrestlers who USED to be the pride and joy of this place. Now? Well, they spend their time terrorizing announcers and betraying those most loyal to them. The Dravers Twins are up next
The Dravers Twins (2-2) vs. The Greek gods (0-0)
~Zeus and Hades are in the ring. Zeus is guffawing. Hades holds his belly, chuckling. Zeus is taking credit for bringing the plane down. “I SHOWED THEM, DAMNED HADES” “YES YOU DID ALMIGHTY ZEUS”. The rest of the roster and staff might attack Zeus, if they in any way, shape, or form believed his claim~
Belvedere: The Greek gods, everybody.
~Some LIGHT applause from a few of the newer members who feel sorry for Zeus and Hades and their ‘delusions’. Zeus acknowledges the applause, promising to grant the people applauding him with GREAT GIFTS~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~Bad guy by Eminem hits! There is no false ‘boys are back’ followed by a record scratch entrance. The cell phone playing downloaded music can only do SO MUCH. The staff and wrestlers fold their arms, most unhappy and displeased with the Dravers recent actions. Welsh looks around and sighs. Nathan and Jonathan emerge from the woods with the WORTHIEST OF THEM ALL, PerZag leading the way~
Belvedere: At a total combined weight of 200lbs...Nathan Dravers, Jonathan Dravers...The Dravers Twins!!!
~Welsh motions for some of the crew to ‘get into it’ a little bit more. And they begin to boo. The boos are pretty weak...but PerZag threatens to hit a camera man. Nathan nearly snaps off a superkick at a ring crew member...and the boos get louder. Welsh nods, looking at Greg, “It’s all coming together.” Jonathan and Nathan hit the ring as Belvedere exits~
Jones: Welsh trying to get the ‘crowd’ into this a little bit more.
Hood: Do you really think Zeus forced our plane to crash by bringing down some LIGHTNING from the heavens?
Jones: In a word, no.
~The Knife Man yells out “DING! DING!” and we’re underway. Hades looks fresh. He looks ready to go. This is, pretty much, his RETURN to the ring. Zeus, however, deems that Hades place is on the apron. Hades, like always, bows to his overlord and takes the apron. Zeus turns around and yells out, ‘I DAMN THEE! STAND IN AWE OF THE MIGHTY...AHHH!!’ He’s superkicked into oblivion by Nathan before he can finish saying his words. Jonathan flies into view and he superkicks Hades off the apron, Hades flies into the arms of Who’Re. She catches him and cradles him like a small child~
Jones: Lucky break for Hades. Not so much for Zeus.
Hood: I don’t know, he’s being held like a baby in the arms of a whore. I think I’d rather crashed into the corner like Zeus.
~Nathan rips Zeus out of the corner and slings him toward the center of the ring. Zeus stumbles around, out on his feet. Jonathan looks at Nathan. Nathan looks back at Jonathan. PerZag, on the outside slaps his hands together as the twins dive in and crush Zeus with SEEING DOUBLE!!! Zeus collapses to the mat. Nathan makes the cover. Scruff does nothing about the double team because, well, if Zeus DID have something to do with their plane crash, then, fuck em. He makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~Knife Man yells “DING! DING!”~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…THE DRAVERS TWINS!!!!!
Jones: Quick, easy win for the Dravers who, I’ve been told, look like prime candidates to challenge Dan and Chris for the OCW Tag Titles.
Hood: Ooooh, a rematch from Access Denied?
Jones: Yep. One that’s well deserved. The Dravers were SO close to defeating Dan and Chris back in January.
Hood: Sign me up.
Jones: Only issue could be The Cowgirls From Hell. They remain, numerically, the #1 contenders.
Hood: Bah, they’ll get over it.
Jones: This would be two months in a row where they’ve been stepped over.
Hood: Not my problem.
Jones: Well, okay. Regardless...The Dravers, under the guidance of PerZag, with another dominating win as they look better than ever.
Hood: Washing the pink out of your hair will do that.
Jones: Word from the back is the Cowgirls are looking for someone.
Hood: Well it isn’t Veronica.
Jones: Too soon, Hood.
~We cut to footage elsewhere to find that they are looking for someone. Or more Tamika looking as Meghan follows behind in her denim daisy dukes, and sleeveless jean jacket, really completing her ‘Gator Bait’ look.~
Hood: Well, that is certainly a great outfit for Meghan Strader. The MILF of OCW.
Jones: Hood! Don’t forget Tamika, she’s a mom too.
Hood: Valid point.
~Tamika walks up to a tent, taps on the top of it. The zipper opens up and we see THE LEO in there with a island native. They are naked, a big black bar covers Leo’s bigger than expected Johnson but it’s important to note that on the black blur covering the pee-pee it has the OCW initials in it. No such thing as bad advertising.~
Tamika: Shit, Megz check out the hammer on Leo!
~Leo blushes but suddenly his blue sunglasses are on and he’s standing proud. His penis too.~
Hood: Oh man, I did not need to see that.
Jones: On that, we agree.
Meghan: Well damn, Leo. Good for you.
Leo: Thank you kindly ladies. Now is this pressing? As you can see I have company.
~A dart goes flying by his head and hits a OCW crew member, and they die instantly. Tamika and Meghan look at one another as the naked island lady lays back with a wooden pipe she just blew the poison dart through.~
Tamika: Well, I don’t want one of those darts so I’ll make it quick. Have you seen Easton Alexander?
Leo: He’s like four tents over I think. Now if you’ll excuse me.
~Before she can thank him, the zipper is up and the tent is going wild. We can hear screams of ecstasy inside from a woman, but it’s most likely Leo.~
Meghan: Just when I think I have seen everything. I’m gonna go check on that gator, should be good by the main event.
Tamika: Ok, save me a bit.
~Meghan disappears off screen as Tamika begins to search again.~
Hood: I can smell that gator from here, it’s like being back in Florida.
Jones: I have never tried alligator, I heard it tastes like chicken.
Hood: Depends who’s pussy you are eating, Smith. I bet Alice is the source of her mustard. *gagging*
Jones: HOOD!
~Tamika waves at The Knifeman as he walks by, that weird toothy smile mask on. She comes up on a single person tent and taps on the zipper.~
Tamika: Hey, Easton Alexander? You in there? I need to talk to ya!
~Grumbling can be heard.~
Tamika: Oh come on, Easton. It’s about Mark Storm!
~The tent opens up, and definitely isn’t happy she is there standing in front of with the Craze title around her waist.~
Easton: I don’t fucking know you so why would I want to talk to you?
~He glares at her, at her championship, and back to her.~
Tamika: Tamika Anne Strader. Current Craze Champion. One half of the Cowgirls From Hell. Aunt to the Trans-Atlantic Champion. There, ya know me. Before you say anything else, remember I am one half who makes sure you gets a paycheque, so choose your next words very carefully.
~Easton is not amused.~
Easton: Alright. You want to talk about Mark Storm? Talk.
~He motions to the inside of his tent. Tamika looks inside and back at him.~
Tamika: How about we go over where the Gator is cooking? Meghan brought party tents cause she doesn’t believe “australia” is real and wanted to make sure we had lodging.
~Easton shrugs and motions for her to lead the way.~
Jones: I wonder what our Craze Champion wants with Easton Alexander?
Hood: It’s fairly obviously apparent, Smith. Easton and Storm hate one another, she has to defend against Storm and is enlisting the help of Easton to get under the man’s skin. I could’ve been wrong about them Straders. They are everywhere it seems, but they are STRONG AND PROUD!
Fire is Life Match
TIO/Kelson/Storm vs. CJ/Grenier/Easton
~The ring is surrounded by all staff members of OCW. Most of the jobbers are there, too. Lurking, in the dark foliage of the surrounding jungle are silhouettes belonging to hulking, muscular frames. Frames that belong to OCW wrestlers who, likely, wish to remain concealed while witnessing the main event that’s about to go down. Belvedere, in the ring, does his job for the final time this evening~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for our Main Event of the evening! This is a Fire is Life match! Before a team can attempt a pin or submission, they must extinguish the flame burning in the opposing team’s corner.
~We get a quick shot of a lit tiki torch secured via strips of bamboo to the ring posts of opposing corners~
Belvedere: Introducing first…
~Maniac - Carpenter Brut blasts from the crew member’s cell phone. Easton Alexander steps through the jungle, pounding his right fist into the palm of his left hand. Despite the conditions, he looks as focused as ever. He reaches the ring and hops onto the apron, entering through the ropes. He paces back and forth, like a caged animal, ready to be released so he can attack~
Belvedere: From North Bay Ontario Canada, standing 6’1 and weighing in at 210lbs...he is the March OCW Newcomer of the Month. He is...Easton Alexander!!!
Jones: Another big match for Easton. He’s essentially teaming with two OCW legends.
Hood: Yep. Kid’s got a bright future. But, it’s not gonna be easy. Very few ‘gimmes’ in this place.
~Where The Hood At by DMX is next up on the dude’s cell phone. This signals it’s time for Bob Grenier to make an appearance. Some growling and gnashing sounds out from the darkness. People part and, soon, Bob Grenier rides his way into the ringside area...he’s standing atop two gators, reigned in by strips of bamboo. A giant joint hangs from Grenier’s mouth as he rides the gators, one foot on each, toward the ring. Easton looks down at him like ‘wtf’~
Belvedere: From Timmins, Ontario, Canada...standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs...he is a former OCW Champion and he’s in the OCW Hall of Fame...Bob Grenier!!!
~Grenier pulls the gators to a stop, tying the bamboo around the ring post. The gators are on both sides of the steps that lead to the ring apron. They hiss with open mouths as Bob rushes up the steps and enters into the ropes. He looks at Easton...Easton looks back at him. It’s ALMOST like looking in the mirror. Bob then stands on the middle buckle and stares out at the surrounding scene while puffing on the joint hanging from the corner of his mouth~
Jones: Win or lose, you know teaming with someone like Bob Grenier is only going to help Easton Alexander.
Hood: Yep. Sometimes all you need is to see how the greats do it before you can figure it out.
~"Kings Never Die" by Eminem hits! Aggressive boos are heard from the OCW staff. Welsh doesn’t really have to urge these on...it’s quite clear, now that they are out of Ireland, that CJ has retaken the mantel of most hated personality in OCW. He marches in from the foliage, strutting as he always does. He looks as confident as ever. He avoids the gators and rolls in under the bottom rope, popping to his feet. Bob hops off the second buckle. Easton stands back as the two former rivals get a good look at one another~
Jones: Bob has always been associated with Vargas. And, well, when CJ and The Aptitude ran wild in OCW, they did so mostly at the expense of Vargas and Mack and, Grenier.
Hood: Yep, they came in and let those three know that this was NOT 2015. This was no longer their era. And it pissed them off.
Jones: That it did. But, here we are, five years later and it seems as though they’ve managed to put things aside long enough to work together.
Hood: Well, it helps that CJ’s so tunneled in on destroying TIO that nobody else really matters at this point.
Belvedere: Standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs...he is a former OCW Tag Team Champion...ladies and gentlemen, ‘The Distinguished’ CJ O’Donnell!!!
~Grenier and CJ share some words. Their aggressive in delivery, no idea how acerbic they are in function. But, not enough for them to come to blows. There’s an overarching understanding that for tonight these two must maintain civility to get the job done. CJ turns to Easton and sizes him up, he nods, approving~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~Short Change Hero by The Heavy fires out from the cell phone. Hopefully they are able to transport songs from this cell to another because I doubt this one’s gonna make it to the next show. Anyway, Mark Storm steps out from the jungle to a strong showering of respect from the OCW staffers. Not a bad word can be said about YOUR HERO AND MINE. Storm approaches the ring. CJ motions for Storm to enter. Bob leans back, puffing on his joint, keeping a narrow eye on Storm while Easton leans over, eager to pounce. Storm’s a vet so he declines. He’s not an idiot~
Belvedere: From Brooklyn, New York...standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs...Mark Storm!!!
~The crew member rushes to find the next song. He hits play and "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns 'n' Roses! At first, the crew members surrounding the ring are like “Yea, yea, we get it, we’re in a jungle” but they can’t help but to groove to the beat and by the time Kelson Hewitt appears, they’re dancing and jamming out to the song. Kelson reaches the ring and stands next to Storm. Storm turns and extends his hand, Kelson shakes it, patting Storm on the back. The two men look up into the ring at their three, eager opponents~
Belvedere: From Nashville, Tennessee...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 201lbs...he is ‘The Man of Steel’...he is...Kelson Hewitt!!!!
Jones: Kelson Hewitt and Mark Storm...two men who have title opportunities at Technical Difficulties.
Hood: Yep, Kelson’s gonna face BRIM, who has looked unstoppable this year. Meanwhile, Mark Storm is gonna try and smack the smile off of that Strader Family Face.
Jones: Easier said than done. The only Strader loss in 2022 came at the hands of TLS inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.
Hood: Losses are coming, Smith. LOSSES ARE COMING
~The sound of Disturbed’s “Are You Ready” plays from the cell phone as the OCW ring crew and fellow wrestlers await for the arrival of TIO. He hasn’t been seen since the plane crashed by Marcus Welsh on Day 1. His music plays for several moments as TIO has yet to make his way towards the ring and there is no sign of him. His music stops as everyone looks around confused.~
Jones: TIO is missing!
Hood: I knew it, the man got eaten by a rabid kangaroo.
Jones: I hate this cursed island!
Hood: Watch it - we might get attacked by a smoke monster.
~Suddenly, off in the distance, drums can be heard and chanting. The sounds grow in volume as two indigenous men in furs and feathers march towards the ring smacking makeshift drums with their hands. Behind them are four men carrying a wooden throne on their shoulders and sitting atop the throne is… the Incredible One. TIO is dressed in his usual wrestling gear but also is wearing a headdress decorated with different colored pebbles, feathers, and small animal carcasses. Walking beside the throne, holding the hand of TIO is a beautiful, brown haired and brown eyed indigenous woman.~
Jones: What on earth is going on?
Hood: TIO is channeling his inner Colonel Kurtz.
Jones: This is where he’s been for the past week?
Hood: I’m guessing you can’t assume God-hood in a day, Smith.
Jones: Indeed!
~Kelson and Storm watch as the throne is carried past them. CJ, Easton, and Bob stand in the ring. They want to rush and attack, but those indigenous people look kinda like they can handle themselves. The four men carrying the wooden throne make it to the ring and go down on their knees so the chair is level with the wrestling mat. TIO walks onto the apron and uses his hand to help the woman up so she is standing next to him. He gives her a soft kiss on the lips as she then takes off his headdress and goes with the other men. The men playing the drums begin to pound harder, intensifying their chants as TIO, on the apron, turns his back to the ring and yells. Te drums and chanting suddenly stops~
Belvedere: In the ring, from Halifax, NS, Canada, weighing in at 235lbs… THE INCREDIBLE ONE!
~TIO motions for Storm and Kelson to join him on the apron. They’re a little awed by all of this. It is quite strange. But, they hop on the apron and join TIO...all three men turn and face their opponents. Together, as a group, they enter the ring to a strong ovation from the staff and wrestlers watching~
Jones: Great ovation for a very strong and unified team.
Hood: Only as unified as the moment allows them to be. Once shit breaks down, we’ll see how friendly they are with each other. Especially TIO.
Jones: There is some truth to that
~Belvedere exits, feeling like things could get violent in a hurry. Outside the ring, TIO’s tribes people surround the ring...although they are very careful around Grenier’s gators. The female remains in their corner, looking up at the tiki torch. TIO heads straight for CJ~
Jones: Uh oh. It looks like we’re going to get TIO and CJ right now!
Hood: Well, you knew that would probably happen given the booking of this match.
~CJ steps back and Bob gets in TIO’s face. TIO tries to get Bob to move. But, Bob won’t. TIO says something we can’t hear...but it’s enough to agitate Bob. Bob pie faces TIO!! TIO stumbles back...he rushes forward and hits Bob...Bob responds!!! TIO and Bob begin to brawl. Easton charges forward, going after Storm, bullying him into a corner with a shoulder. Storm pummels Easton on the back with forearms. Kelson heads after CJ, but CJ hops through the ropes and lands on the ground outside. He angrily eyes the tribespeople around him~
Jones: Bob and TIO are brawling! There’s plenty of history there!
Hood: Yep, meanwhile Easton and Storm are resuming their war from Luck of the Violent!
Jones: And, while all that’s going on, CJ has retreated to the outside.
Hood: He’s gonna pick his spot, Jones. CJ’s no idiot.
~Kelson looks over the top rope...tribes people are out there holding spears. There are gators. So, he decides to stay in the ring. He runs over and helps Storm battle Easton. Kelson drills Easton in the back with an elbow. Easton stands upright...Storm hits Easton in the face. Kelson shoves Easton into the ropes...together, Storm and Kelson clothesline Easton over the top and to the outside where he lands, roughly. TIO, meanwhile, is reeling against the ropes...Bob’s winning the fist fight!!! Bob tries to whip TIO off the ropes, but TIO reverses. Bob hits the ropes, but holds on!!! TIO charges in and he clotheslines Bob over the top rope and to the outside!!! The staffers go wild!!! TIO turns and finds Kelson and Storm...he heads for them, putting his arms around them as they stand tall, for the moment. CJ looks up, hands on his hips, shaking his head. Grenier returns to his feet, as does Easton...they stumble around the ring, meeting up with CJ~
Jones: TIO’s team standing tall right now!
Hood: That’s fine. Win the meaningless battle while the true competitors claim the war.
~The three teammates inside the ring find their corner. Bob, CJ, and Easton discuss strategy. It results in Easton sliding into the ring. TIO and Kelson look at Storm. Storm nods, saying, “I got this.” He remains in the ring as TIO and Kelson take the apron. CJ and Bob do the same. CJ reminds Bob to protect their torch. Easton and Storm circle each other as The Knife Man yells out, “DING! DING!”~
Jones: And we’re officially underway with Mark Storm and Easton Alexander kicking things off...renewing their battle from last Sunday!
Hood: Storm narrowly defeated Easton in a brutal NO DQ match. We’ll see if Easton can get some revenge tonight.
~Storm rushes in for a headlock, but Easton responds with a quick thumb into the eye. Scruff either doesn’t see it or has trouble making out what happened due to the very dimly lit area. Easton follows the thumb up with a straight right hand, sending Storm into the ropes. Easton whips Storm off the ropes, Storm bounces off and Easton SMASHES Storm in the face with a roaring forearm!!! Storm falls to the mat, hard. CJ and Bob are caught conferring…CJ pointing at the tiki torch across the ring~
Jones: That tiki torch must be extinguished before CJ’s team can win this match...no matter how much offense Easton gets in on Storm.
Hood: Gotta extinguish their life before you can kill them.
Jones: I mean, sure. That sounds cooler than it makes sense.
Hood: Fuck you
~Easton places his foot into Storm’s throat, crushing the wind from his lungs. CJ extends his hand. Easton turns around and tags CJ in. Easton pulls Storm up and hooks his arms from behind. CJ walks up and starts to jab and box Storm in the face. The staffers boo. One yells, “C’MON, CJ!” CJ just laughs and continues smacking Storm around. Finally, Easton shoves Storm into CJ who responds by catching him and tossing him over his head with a T-Bone Suplex!! Storm hits hard. CJ pops back to his feet...as he does, TIO enters the ring, heading for him. CJ points and yells, “whoa whoa whoa!” Scruff rushes over to block TIO. As he does, Easton rips Storm up and shoves him into their corner where Bob wraps the tag rope around Storm’s throat, choking him~
Jones: I think it’s pretty clear CJ does not want to touch TIO.
Hood: Yea. It’s also clear that Mark Storm is getting his ass kicked.
Jones: No danger in losing as long as that torch is lit.
~TIO spins Scruff around, tired of watching Storm get triple teamed. Scruff spins around but, when he does, CJ is the only man in the ring and he’s punching Storm in the head. TIO throws his arms in the air in total disgust...all the tribes people around the ring do the same, mimicking his action. He stands on the apron and looks over at Kelson like, “Can you believe this shit?” Kelson can only nod. He’s had his fair share of CLASSIC OCW moments. CJ reaches up and tags Bob into the mat. Bob steps in and boots Storm in the gut right away before pulling him out of the corner and snapping him over onto the mat with a snapmare. Bob stands and kicks Storm in the face, putting him on his back. He then leaps up and drops an elbow across Storm’s chest. Grenier returns to his feet and looks over at TIO and Kelson...he then charges forward and runs up the buckles, reaching for the tiki torch~
Jones: Bob’s going straight for the torch!
Hood: Well, this is one way to do it.
~Bob reaches up with his hands to try and smother it...but he yells, pulling his hands back. TIO and Kelson shove his feet away and he falls to the mat, his face slamming into the top buckle on the way down!! Grenier stumbles back, falling over, onto the mat~
Jones: Well, that didn’t work.
Hood: Running in with reckless abandon is not going to extinguish that flame. Gonna have to strategize.
~Storm rolls over, getting to all fours. Bob sits up, wincing, holding his burned hands. Both balled into fists. He looks over and sees Storm getting to one knee. Bob hurries to his feet. He leans into the ropes and charges ahead at Storm...but Storm ducks and takes Bob down with a drop toe hold!!! Bob lands into the ropes, draped over the middle. Storm pops back to his feet. He rushes into the ropes, bounces off and flies at Bob, jumping on his back and sliding out of the ring, raking Bob’s throat over the middle rope!! Grenier snaps back, into the ring, rolling around in pain. Storm lands on his feet...he’s instantly surrounded by tribes people...they point their spears at him. TIO hops off the apron and rushes over...he calms them all down, letting them know that Storm is a friend. They lower their spears and pat Storm on the head and back. He flashes a very awkward smiles before rushing back into the ring~
Jones: Good on TIO to make sure Storm didn’t get impaled by a spear.
Hood: Why are these people here anyway? And is that what Australia people look like? If so, fuck Australia.
Jones: I’m not sure the rules are going to be super strict this month, Hood. Or, for however long we’re out here.
Hood: Classic OCW, Babysitting
~Storm heads to his team’s corner to make a legal tag, bringing Kelson into the match. The staffers cheer! Kelson’s super over with everyone. Grenier crawls into his corner and he tags CJ!! The staffers boo. CJ has no problem stepping into the ring to face Kelson. TIO is still outside the ring, making sure the tribes people he brought don’t kill anybody. Kelson sizes CJ up. CJ does the same...CJ bounces around, talking shit. Kelson remains steadfast...the two men dive in and lock up! CJ hooks Kelson in a side headlock...the look on CJ’s face is, “I’ve got this rookie.” Kelson surprises CJ by rolling to the mat and tossing CJ off. CJ pops to his feet, surprised...he charges at Kelson, but Kelson takes him over with a deep arm drag. CJ returns to his feet, again he charges at Kelson and again he’s tossed over with a deep arm drag. CJ gets to his knees and he slaps the mat with both hands, frustrated. Kelson pops back to his, staring over his brow at the frustrated OCW star. The staffers cheer and whistle~
Jones: CJ is learning what others already know...you aren’t going to out wrestle Kelson Hewitt.
Hood: He’s more than just some talented newcomer. The guy is main event level.
~CJ pops back to his feet and he yells, “FOOK YOU” he runs at Kelson and throws a knee, but Kelson blocks it, shoving CJ’s leg down. He hits CJ with a forearm uppercut!!! CJ spins around, giving his back to Kelson. Hewitt spins around, grabs CJ by the head and he drops him with a neckbreaker!!! CJ hits hard, reaching for his neck in pain. Kelson sits up and looks into his corner. TIO wants in. Kelson motions toward the tiki torch in their opponents corner. TIO nods...he knows they can’t beat CJ’s team until that torch is extinguished. So, TIO looks to Storm and they hop off the apron, heading around the ring from opposite sides. Kelson returns to his feet and he goes toward Grenier and Easton...he tries to goad them into the ring~
Jones: If Bob and Easton take the bait then TIO and Storm should be able to extinguish that torch!
Hood: Don’t take the bait. Don’t take the bait. DON’T TAKE THE BAIT
~Bob, still fuming over his defeat to Kelson, enters the ring. Easton, a super aggressive newcomer not wanting to be shown up, enters also. We hear Hood yell in the background, ‘THEY TOOK THE BAIT!!’ TIO and Storm, crouched by the ring, spring up and rush toward the enemy’s corner. As they do, they come to an abrupt halt...THE ALLIGATORS. The gators thrash their tails around and face the two sneaky wrestlers...their jaws wide open, hissing~
Jones: An unexpected hurdle. Bob’s gators protecting the post.
Hood: TIO’s crazy but I don’t know if he’s FLORIDA MAN crazy.
~Storm takes a step forward...the gator nearest him moves super fast, snapping its jaws. Storm jumps back. TIO does the same but, like Storm, he, too is backed away by a super aggressive gator. The tribes people get behind TIO, surveying the problem. TIO looks at Storm and points toward his team’s corner...unprotected. Storm nods and hurries back over~
Jones: I think TIO is going to lean on the aid of his new friends to extinguish that torch.
Hood: He’s not gonna slaughter one of Bob’s gators, is he?
Jones: He may have to.
~Bob brawls with Kelson in the ring. CJ remains down. Easton rushes past them toward the opposing corner. He climbs the buckles, reaching for the tiki torch. Storm, however, hops onto the apron and he sprints across it toward his team’s corner. Easton pauses and looks at Storm...Storm leaps into the air, he wraps his legs around Easton’s head, spins around and tosses himself, along with Easton off the ring and to the ground with a HURRICANRANA!!!! The Staffers gasp before cheering and chanting “HOLY SHIT!!” Storm and Easton are down~
Jones: Wow! What a move! Storm leaped from the apron, got his legs around Easton’s head and tossed him off the top rope all the way to the ground outside the ring. Amazing!
Hood: Yes, and his reward for such an amazing move is temporary paralysis.
~Kelson and Bob continue to brawl, neither man gaining an advantage. Outside the ring, TIO has his tribes people ready to spear the gator. Bob shoves Kelson against the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Kelson ducks! Bob looks over the top rope and sees his gator about to be slaughtered. Bob’s eyes widen and he leaps over the top rope with a somersault senton onto the tribes people, wiping them all out!!! TIO backs away. He looks at the gator, perfectly fine and every bit as agitated...he throws his arms in the air~
Jones: Bob risking life and limb to save his gator!
Hood: A true man of nature. Bob Grenier.
~Kelson watches the action from inside the ring, taking his eye off CJ. CJ gets to all fours and he crawls toward the unguarded opposing corner. He pulls himself to his feet, standing in the corner. He leans forward to catch his breath before trying to extinguish the flame. As he lifts his head up he comes face to face with TIO who hastily returned to the apron to protect his team’s torch. CJ backs away. TIO grinds his teeth, jaw clenched, and he slowly enters the ring. CJ puts his hands in the air, begging TIO off. But, TIO stalks him. Kelson gets out of the way. CJ nears his team’s corner, running out of room. TIO closes in. But, Bob slides into the ring and he takes TIO down with a spear!!! Bob pummels TIO in the head with lefts and rights as CJ steps through the ropes, smiling~
Jones: And, again, CJ manages to avoid TIO.
Hood: Atta boy, CJ!
Jones: Questionable tactics for a ‘warrior’ but its all subjective, I guess.
~Kelson steps in and he stomps on Bob. Bob rises to his feet and he goes after Kelson, reaching for his face. Kelson tries to fight Bob off. Bob bullies Kelson into a corner. TIO returns to his feet, holding his midsection. He hits Bob with a double axe handle into the back. Bob turns around and he kicks TIO in the face with a Bicycle Kick!!! TIO stumbles into the center of the ring. Bob goes back after Kelson, but Kelson jumps up and kicks Bob in the face!!! Bob stumbles back. Kelson hops onto the middle rope and he leaps off with a cross body!! But, Bob ducks!!! Kelson lands on top of TIO!!! Both men crash into the mat and roll out of the ring!! The staff in attendance gasp. Bob gets to both knees...holding his jaw, he looks up and sees the tiki torch all by itself. CJ yells, “PUT IT OUT!” Bob works his way to his feet~
Jones: Nothing between Bob and that torch but Air and Opportunity.
Hood: Hey, that’d be a pretty good title for a book.
Jones: You don’t say.
~Grenier reaches the corner and he climbs to the top. He looks at the tiki torch...he reaches with his hands but IT’S HOT. He’s shirtless, so nothing to rip off and smother it. CJ yells, “HURRY!” So, Bob does what’s in his nature...he whips out his dick and starts to piss. Staff members just kinda stare. Who’Re squeals and turns her head...a pretty modest act, given her name. A steady stream of thick, polluted piss soars through the air, hitting the flame~
Jones: Well, alright, then.
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
~Bob yells out, “OHHH YEA!” CJ’s brows furrow as if to say, “Not the way I’d have gone about it, but whatever.” Bob finally finishes and covers back up, dropping to the second buckle. He looks relieved...he takes a second as the epic sensation of emptying a full bladder washes over his being. While doing so, Kelson hops onto the apron. Bob slowly opens his eyes and he sees Kelson…it takes him a second to snap out of it. Before he can, Kelson jumps up and kicks Bob in the face!!! Grenier falls back into the mat, hard!! Kelson grabs the top rope...as he does, we look behind him at their corner and find that the tiki torch is OUT~
Jones: Bob’s down but his mission was accomplished! He extinguished the opposing team’s torch.
Hood: Scott Syren would be proud.
Jones: That I believe.
~Grenier struggles to his feet. Kelson jumps up and springboards off the top rope, soaring through the air and onto the OCW legend with Meteora!!!! He takes Bob down and hooks both legs, out of instinct. But, Scruff taps him on the shoulder and points toward the LIT torch in Bob’s corner. Kelson grunts and lets Bob go, hurrying to his feet. Hewitt returns to his feet and leans into the ropes, waiting for Bob. CJ drills him in the kidney with a knee!! Kelson stumbles forward. Grenier boots Kelson in the gut and hoists him up…he has Kelson up in the air and he drops him with HOLLINGER PARK HANGMAN!!! The people in attendance gasp! The sky cries out with a clap of thunder. Bob covers Kelson...Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: TIO breaks it up!
Hood: Fuck! Bob was about to get his revenge on Kelson.
Jones: Well, his team is still at a major disadvantage. They can’t even attempt a pin or submission until they put out that other torch.
~The sky continues to rumble. CJ looks up and notices the moon beginning to disappear before fast moving clouds. He yells out, “Hurry, Bob! It’s about to rain!” Grenier dives after TIO, furious that he broke up the pinfall. The two tumble around the ring for a moment before bumping into Kelson. Kelson, on his knees, punches at Bob...TIO breaks free and helps out. They’ve got Bob down. CJ watches from the apron~
Jones: Why won’t CJ help out?
Hood: He doesn’t want to mix it up with TIO. Not yet.
Jones: His partner clearly needs help.
Hood: Meh, Bob will figure it out.
~Easton appears on the apron! He leaps up and springboards off the top rope. TIO and Kelson stop and look his way, just in time to each eat a boot to the face, courtesy of a sit out dropkick from Alexander!!! They tumble back, into the ropes. Easton lands on his ass, wincing. He then shakes Bob, trying to get him up. CJ looks to the sky once more, the moon is completely gone as the heavens continue to rumble louder and louder...a flicker of light shoots off high above~
Jones: Winds picking up, Hood.
Hood: Fuckin tropical storms. Shit just appears out of nowhere.
Jones: If it rains that other torch won’t stand a chance.
~Alexander reaches his feet. Bob’s on one knee. Alexander turns around and he gets blasted by a flying Mark Storm!! Storm springboards off the top and hits Alexander with a Missile Kick!!! Bob fires up to his feet as Alexander goes flying past him. Storm kips up, turns his back to Bob and leaps into the air, smacking Bob in the head with a Raging Glory (Pele Kick)!!!! Grenier falls to the mat!! The staffers clap and cheer!! Storm rises back to his feet and he looks into the sky as the heavens are rumbling loudly...a streak of lightning fires across the sky~
Jones: Stom’s coming!
Hood: Avert your eyes, people.
Jones: Coming, with an ‘O’
Hood: Ah, nevermind, keep on looking.
~Storm pulls Bob to his feet. He picks Grenier up and gets him onto his shoulders. Thunder CRACKS above...the wind howls. The trees sway. Storm stumbles, his hair blowing in the breeze. He stares right at us...the HARD (and only) CELL CAMERA. He turns Bob’s head toward the mat and drops him with HEROES END!!!! Everybody in attendance cheers!! Storm goes for a pin, but Scruff points at the torch. CJ stands next to it, ready to defend. Storm pops to his feet...he heads that way, but stops. He looks up...his eyes blink as water starts to fall. Another loud crack of thunder and the rain begins to pour down on everyone~
Jones: It’s raining! It’s pouring!
Hood: Outcast is snoring!
~Grenier is down and out in the middle of the ring. Alexander sits up in a corner. Kelson and TIO are seated against the ropes. CJ looks at his team’s torch...the flame is dying. The rain is really pouring down. All the competitors are instantly soaked. Storm keeps a close watch on that flame...as does Scruff~
Jones: As soon as that flame goes out, he’s pinning Bob.
Hood: Shit. Wake up, Bob!
~CJ tries to cover the torch with his hands. He slips on the wet metal connecting the post to the buckle. He tries climbing up again...he wipes the water from his eyes and sees that their torch is out. “SHIT!” Inside the ring, Storm sees what CJ sees and he dives on top of Bob. Water flies everywhere, the mat soaked from the deluge. Scruff slips down and slides in~
1!
2!
3!! NO!
Jones: Bob got the shoulder up!
Hood: Took too long. Whew. Way to go, Bob!
Jones: The torches around ringside are going to go out. We won’t be able to see anything, Hood!
Hood: Probably for the best, given how this match is trending.
~Mark returns to his feet. The rain continues to pour. OCW staffers are taking their shirts off and holding them over the torches around the ring to keep things illuminated enough so this episode of Massacre can finish. Storm pulls Grenier up and hoists him onto his shoulders for his inverted GTS (Incursio!). But, before he can deliver it, CJ enters the ring and he knees Storm from behind!!! Storm drops Bob and stumbles forward, through the ropes and to the outside, slapping into the mud. Bob slides across the mat toward the ropes. CJ, center of the ring, runs his fingers through his soaked hair, pulling it back...he looks to his right and sees TIO staring at him. TIO takes off after CJ...CJ hits the mat and he slides out of the ring~
Jones: CJ aiding his team...but he’s still evading TIO.
Hood: Those two are gonna wage war, Jones. But it won’t be tonight.
Jones: Did you just call me Jones?
Hood: No.
~TIO exits the ring and he chases CJ into the jungle with the tribes people following him. Back inside the ring, Kelson goes after Bob. He pulls Bob to his feet but Bob responds with an elbow into Kelson’s midsection. Easton slugs Kelson in the face, emerging from his side. Bob and Easton pummel Kelson on the back with forearms...each one slapping against his flesh creating splashes of water. Kelson drops to one knee~
Jones: Storm is out of the ring. TIO is chasing CJ through the jungle. It’s up to Kelson with both Bob and Easton attacking him.
Hood: I guess Scruff is just in ‘whatever’ mode
Jones: He’s been collecting water from the rain for drinking.
Hood: Don’t try and convince me that guy is smart.
~We notice OCW has several jugs out, collecting the rainfall. Bob and Easton stand in front of Kelson, waiting for him to rise. He does and they charge at him with a double clothesline...but Kelson ducks!!! Kelson reaches the duo as they pass by and he drops them both with a double neckbreaker!!!! Easton and Bob hit hard, grabbing their necks!!! The staff cheers as the rain continues to fall!! Kelson returns to his feet, drenched. He picks Bob up and slings him through the ropes to the outside where he falls next to his gators. The gator lovingly nudges him~
Jones: Seems as though a strong bond exists between Bob and the massive, mindless killing reptiles.
Hood: That what providing GOOD SHIT will do. It’ll turn the meanest creatures into your best friends.
Jones: Life as a Grenier is a weird one.
~Kelson goes after Easton...he pulls Easton to his feet but Easton head butts Kelson!!! Kelson wobbles...he’s unsteady. It’s tough to get a clear picture with all the rain falling. Easton leans in, underhooking both of Kelson’s arms. HE’S GOING FOR Cursed Night (Spinning Angels Wings)!!!! Easton tries to spin Kelson...but Kelson slips out of the grip and spins around, placing his foot against Easton’s head and swiftly dropping him with Steel Toed Boot!!!! Easton falls to the mat!!! He’s down!! Kelson covers him!! Scruff slides in through the rainfall~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...the team of THE INCREDIBLE ONE, KELSON HEWITT, AND MARK STORM!!!!!
Jones: Kelson did it! He pinned Easton Alexander and got the win for his team!
Hood: Shit. Fuckin rain FUCKED them
Jones: This sudden storm certainly swayed momentum their way. No doubt about that.
Hood: I blame Mark Storm. And, you know why.
Jones: Because his last name is Storm?
Hood: EXACTLY
~We get a shot of Bob leaving the ringside area laying on the back of his two gators. His eyes are shut. Storm slides back into the ring, through the water. He gets to his feet and helps Kelson up. Easton rolls out of the ring. Storm looks at Kelson and the two men raise each other’s hand in victory. As they do, the clouds start to part as the rain begins to cease~
Jones: Mark Storm and Kelson Hewitt. One a veteran. The other still carving out a name for himself. Both rising stars in OCW.
Hood: Both with title shots at Technical Difficulties.
Jones: Yep. Storm will challenge Tamika Strader while Kelson takes on BRIM.
~Easton returns to his feet outside the ring. He looks up at Storm and Kelson. He starts to get back in the ring, but they turn his way, threatening to attack him if he does. Easton throws his hands at them and backs away, shouting threats their way~
Jones: Easton Alexander comes up short, along with the rest of his team...but there’s going to be many, may wins in his future.
Hood: He’s got the fight, Jones. He’ll figure it out. I mean, he was just in the ring facing three of the most talented wrestlers in the sport. Pretty fuckin tough.
Jones: You called me Jones again!
Hood: That rain storm has my brain slippin
~The moonlight shines down on Storm and Hewitt with an approving glimmer and warm glow with the staff members clapping in appreciation over their hard fought victory. The tiki torches are extinguished and the jugs of water are collected~
Jones: Wow, what a night. An interesting one but we managed to...hold on...something is emerging from the jungle!
~TIO returns from the jungle with a few of his tribes people. It appears they’ve got CJ~
Jones: They got CJ!
Hood: Damnit. This night just keeps getting worse. It’s fuckin impossible to run through a jungle from people who live here. UNFAIR
~The tribesmen have CJ subdued. They can grab him by his arms and hold him for a presentation to TIO. TIO and his mysterious woman approach CJ, who is on his knees in the sand as six men have a hold of him, three on each arm, as he struggles, looking at TIO. TIO whispers something into the ear of his woman as she approaches CJ and spits in his face. TIO laughs as the woman smirks slightly. TIO grabs CJ by the face before smacking him hard.~
TIO: You thought you could escape us on this island, Caleb?
CJ O’Donnell: No, but I thought–
~Before CJ could finish his sentence, one of the tribesmen punches CJ in the face as CJ reacts by spitting blood in his face. TIO, unimpressed, grabs the man who punched CJ and buries his face into the mud. The man struggles, trying to fight for air, but TIO does not relent. He finally brings the man up for air as he gasps for oxygen, mud staining his face. TIO grabs him one last time and throws him into the ground and spits on him as he goes back to CJ.~
TIO: Allow him to speak!
CJ O’Donnell: I thought you wouldn’t need a bunch of wild men and this girl to do your dirty work for you.
Bishop: Haha fuck you, CJ!
TIO: You listen to us, CJ. Listen well. You may have avoided me for most of this match, and you may have tried to avoid me during Luck of the Violent. But there is no escape on this island. I’m not going to hurt you tonight because when OCW has Technical Difficulties, whether it’s in Australia or this damn island, you will have a match with me. If you do not accept - I promise you that I will make your life a living hell.
Bishop: I hope you’re ready for us, Cee Jay. The reason is over the next few weeks my, let’s call them, worshippers, will be digging a hole over there.
~TIO snaps his fingers as two men let go of CJ and head over to a clearing on the beach and start digging with their barehands.~
Bishop: That hole is for you, you fucker. You wanted to make things personal? You got it. You wanted violence? You got it. And now, when we’re done with you – we’ll be done with you for good because we’re going to BURY YOU ALIVE!
TIO: Technical Difficulties. Us vs. CJ. Buried Alive. Better find a shovel, friend.
~TIO does one final snap as the other tribesmen let go of CJ and they grab the throne. TIO sits in, and he motions with his hand as the woman sits on his lap. The tribesmen hoist the two up and leave the ring area, and vanish into the night. CJ gets to his feet, pissed. Alice appears from the jungle, wrapping her arms around him. Kelson and Storm are still in the ring, kinda thrown off by everything that’s happened. Easton Alexander is spotted shoving OCW personnel out of his way, furious over the loss~
~After a thrilling six-man tag (booked properly, take notes TK, we know you are reading this) the OCWtron lights up and we see Meghan Strader, with her daughters Trans Atlantic title over her shoulder, has set up a line to feed the talent and crew. Meghan grabs a rectangular piece of bark she ripped off a tree and cleaned up to use as a plate and loads it with some alligator and canned veggies she found left at the campfire with a note that said “Need those vegetables with protein hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha - Tony The Spider.”~
Meghan: I don’t see Marcus. He needs to eat. I’ll be back, Meeks. Make sure everyone eats ok?
~Tamika brings her index and middle finger to her forehead and gives a sharp cutting salute.~
Tamika: Yes, mamabear!
~Meghan rolls her eyes and chuckles. She takes the plate and finds Marcus standing at the PORTAL POTTY, looking at it with concern.~
Jones: Marcus just staring at the PORTAL POTTY.
Hood: That thing has been nothing but problems. I mean first things were good, with Zybala and Who’re being taken from us, but things all went to shit when they came back.
Jones: Do you have friends?
Hood: You don’t need friends when you are as slick as I am, and with Alisa by my side I don’t need you, or anyone, Smith.
~Jones shakes his head. Meghan walks up behind Marcus, taps him on the shoulder, and hands him the platter. He looks down at it and up at Meghan.~
Meghan: It’s alligator. It’s good, and you need to eat Marcus.
Marcus Welsh: So this means we are good?
~Meghan sighs and shrugs.~
Meghan: It’s not your fault some piece of shit worshipped a owl goddess gaining the ability to travel time creating… this.
~She says as she looks at the PORTAL POTTY.~
Marcus Welsh: Well, just know, she is my Chosen One. I wouldn’t ever let something like this happen if I could. Her and Outcast have been the kind of fighting champions a company dreams of. We’ll get her back, I can feel it. She’s a tough one. Strong and Proud.
~Marcus nervously takes a bite of his gator, and a pleasant look of surprise comes across his face.~
Marcus Welsh: This is pretty good, thanks Meghan. I’ve never had alligat—
~Before Marcus can finish his sentence, the PORTAL POTTY starts to vibrate and move around in it’s spot.~
Hood: Oh shit, what the hell is trying to come out of it?!
Jones: Hopefully it’s our Trans Atlantic Champion!
Hood: and not a creature that resembles Poblano’s old man balls.
~Meghan runs to it, and pulls up the padlock on the chain. She looks to Marcus desperately.~
Meghan: Marcus, the key!
Marcus: But we don’t kno–
~Meghan sneers hard at him, and he calls for Greg.~
Marcus: GREG! BRING ME MY KEYS, BEFORE THE MATRIARCH KICKS ME!
~The PORTAL POTTY is starting to make noise as the OCW talent and crew start to gather to see what the commotion is all about. Greg comes running with the keys as Marcus points to give them to Meghan. Marcus and Greg move away, holding each other, and eat alligator nervously. Tamika is back on the scene, Craze belt around her waist (pretty sure she is sleeping with it) and comes up beside her sister as the padlock clicks. The Cowgirls start moving the chains away so the door can open.~
Meghan: Open it!
Tamika: Watch out everyone!
~Tamika whips the PORTAL POTTY door wide open, and everyone is greeted with sights of the past and the future as it starts to calm down. A voice is heard.~
???: Watch out!!!!
~Suddenly a body comes flying through the doorway. The blonde ponytail smacks Tamika in the face as it spits out VICTORIA STRADER.~
Meghan: MY BABY!
~She hugs her daughter tight as Victoria looks around, confused.~
Victoria: W-w-where are we? What is this place?
Meghan: “australia” baby. Tamika get that door closed!
~Tamika goes towards the PORTAL POTTY to close it up, but Victoria reaches out grabbing Tamika’s wrist.~
Victoria: Don’t! Not yet! Someone else is coming…
Marcus: Someone else?! No way, get that closed!
~Before anyone can do anything, another body comes flying out. The talent and crew gather around looking at the person slumped over. She stands up and everyones eyes go wide with shock.~
Jones: Is that…?
Hood: Holy shit, it’s another Victoria!
~The woman stands up, and is embraced by Victoria.~
Victoria: Ronnie! I was worried you weren’t going to get through!
Veronica: No, that wasn’t about to happen. You aren’t doing this alone!
~Marcus, Meghan and Tamika all look at each other as Victoria AND Veronica stand in front of them. Meghan pulls the TA strap off her arm, holding it out, looking at them.~
Meghan: Umm, which one of you—?
~Veronica takes the championship, looks at it, and hands it over to Victoria.~
Veronica: It’s our belt, but you hold onto it. Just don’t let a leprechaun steal it this time.
Meghan: Ummm… How are you separate from each other?
~Before either one can answer, Veronica sees the man she has been missing for the past week, or rather, months for her from wherever they were.~
Veronica: Christian?
Outcast: RONNIE?!
~Outcast comes from off screen as Ronnie runs and jumps up into his arms. He holds her by the butt as she nuzzles into manly neck. Outcast notices Victoria, a pure look of confusion washes over his face as Tamika and Meghan hug Victoria.~
Outcast: Wait, how is this—?
Veronica: I’ll try to explain later, this schmucks wouldn’t get it.
~She puts her feet down on the ground, and smiles as she puts her right hand on his cheek. She turns to Marcus as does Victoria.~
Veronica: Vee has a request, Marcus.
Marcus: Wait, which is which?
Victoria: I’m Vee, that’s Ronnie. Just look at our hair; mine is always in a ponytail and blonde. Ronnie lets her hair flow naturally and has a red tinge.
Marcus: Ok, right… what do you need? Are you both ok?
Veronica: We are fine, Marcus. We have our own bodies now!
Marcus: Right, right… this is a lot to comprehend… what’s your request, Vee?
Victoria: At Technical Difficulties I want to defend our Trans Atlantic Championship…
~Marcus nods but stops.~
Marcus: I’m gathering you have someone particular in mind?
Veronica: That she does…
~Everyone is watching on, awaiting to hear who she is requesting.~
Hood: It’s ZEUS! For sure it’s ZEUS!
Jones: Well she is undefeated, maybe she wants OUTCAST!
~Neither is right, as the words leave her mouth the look of shock on their faces says it all.~
Victoria: … Supreme Machine.
~Everyone in the area gasps. Meghan puts her hand on Vee’s shoulder, Outcast holds Ronnie tight, and Marcus looks at her, eyes wide.~
Marcus Welsh: Well, if you are sure… at Technical Difficulties… Supreme Machine versus Vee Strader.
Jones: Wow, she requested the monster Supreme Machine?
Hood: She’s Crazy and Stupid, or truly Proud and Strong.
~Welsh stares down at the Portal Potty. Greg stands next to him~
Greg: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Marcus Welsh: It's too dangerous, Greg. We have no idea where that portal would take us. Any of us. We can't use it as a means to escape.
Greg: It's getting pretty dire out here, Marcus. How much longer can we last?
Marcus Welsh: We'll be fine, trust me. We'll figure it out. We always do.
~Greg feels reassured, turning to check back in on the Strader family. Welsh digs into his pocket and removes the golden phone with the initials 'TD' on it. He starts to turn it on but pauses, placing it back into his pocket~
Marcus Welsh: Nope. Not yet. We'll be fine. We're gonna figure this out on our own.
~Cap Slock shouts from the distance~
Cap Slock: SIR! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF BATTERY LIFE ON THIS PHONE.
Marcus Welsh: Alright, let's wrap it up!
~We cut back to the shot at the ring. The tiki torches are all out. The moonlight is all that provides illumination. The ring crew works to take it down. Jones and Hood are overheard, standing next to the cell phone~
Jones: It was a wild and wet night here, but an eventful one. Vee Strader is back and she'll defend her TransAtlantic Title against Supreme Machine, her uncle, at Technical Difficulties.
Hood: Yep. And we JUST found out that CJ and TIO will compete in a BURIED ALIVE match. You know who the last person to win one of those was, don't you?
Jones: Of course, Matt Meyhu.
Hood: And now his two Aptitude brothers will try to bury each other. LOVE ME SOME HISTORY
Jones: Well fans, we're gonna cut this off. We hope you were all able to witness this show. We hope we were able to reach you all. We're out here. If you can hear us, come find us. Please.
~One final shot of the crew sloshing through the mud, taking the ring down is shown before Jones hand slides across the lens, shutting the cell phone off. Cut to black~