LIVE! February 20th 2023
FROM ANTARCTICA Cruise Ship
THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS LOOMS
And so we have reached the home stretch. The final test.
THE PROUD AND STRONG have arrived.
THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS awaits.
But first.
One final test.
A prelude of what’s to come.
9 of the top up and coming stars in the company, and Brad Stokes, will do battle under the harsh, cold conditions of the Arctic. A war of attrition. A war of determination. A war of desire to capture an opportunity to leap to the top of the OCW hierarchy in a single night.
The OH SHIT Contract is open and up for grabs.
Tonight one wrestler will survive 9 others to take home the biggest opportunity this company has to offer.
One final test. One final excursion. One final practice session before the trials and tribulations of OCW most dangerous match arrive.
Who will prevail on this...the eve of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS?
An Arctic Rumble is all we’ve got left.
So, sit back and enjoy while the rest of the OCW roster prepares with the dread that comes with knowing THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS is real and it’s imminent.
Our final Massacre from the Arctic starts now.
~We cut straight to the Arctic. A wrestling ring is set up in the snow...fortified at its base to keep from moving. The snow around it looks deep and harsh. The ring, itself, is a standard OCW ring. Several ‘heating’ lamps have been placed around it, pointed down to keep the wrestlers from dying. Except for Brad. Because we all know Brad Stokes can survive anything. Around the ring rests a metal catwalk...one last line of life before plunging into the snow. Six or so feet extended from the ring, a place where wrestlers can land if and when they go through or over the top rope. Scruff stands in the ring, awaiting the arrival of the wrestlers. A snowmobile approaches and it’s carrying two members of the Stokes Dynasty. The Patriarch, Brad...and his concerned daughter, Maddie. Brad looks ready to go...Maddie, not so sure. We cut to Smith and Hood who will be calling this action aboard THE PROUD AND STRONG~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! The final Massacre that will be coming to you from the harsh, cold Arctic!
Hood: Thank fuckin goodness. We do we always get treated like we’re on some horrible reality TV show. Stranded on an island. In the arctic! Why can’t we just broadcast our shit from normal arenas like all the other basic bitch federations.
Smith: Because we are PROUD AND STRONG, Hood.
Hood: I’m gonna proudly die a strong death if we don’t get outta here soon.
Smith: Oh relax. You’ll be fine.
Hood: I think I’ve got frostbite in my pubes.
Smith: You should man scape. Anyway, folks, we’ve got one match for you and one match only...it’s an Arctic Rumble and it’s for an OH SHIT Contract. An OH SHIT contract, for those of you who are unaware, is an opportunity for someone to challenge for any title at any show. Craze? Yes. Tag? Yes. OCW Title? Yes. All of them!
Hood: It’s definitely a leg up, but far from a certainty.
Smith: Yes, unlike other promotions, the OH SHIT Contract doesn’t GUARANTEE a title win, because that’d be lame. Here, it’s about strategy and out thinking the champion. If you can do that and cash in...well, you’ll walk out with the prize.
Hood: Right on.
Smith: So, tonight, 10 of the most exciting up and coming wrestlers…
Hood: AND BRAD
Smith: Will work to toss each other over the top rope and into the snow...the winner, perhaps a gateway to becoming OCW Champion. Folks, the stakes couldn’t be much bigger...a ton on the line here shortly...but first, we’ve got some backstage stuff to get to.
Hood: We just gonna leave Brad out there? Why is he the first one out? Are we trying to kill him?
~Waves crash against the bow of a large wooden ship. The water looks cold as the ship pushes through the waves courageously, strongly, proudly. The camera pans upward and we see that it's a majestic SPANISH GALLEON with text scrolled on the side of the ship that reads THE BIFF EXPRESS. The OCW fans pop big as the text appears and then the camera goes onto the deck where Bifford is standing with the ghosts of Martin Ka'Berryon and Martin's father. Martin is, of course, wearing his signature grape-cluster costume. Bifford is donning the MAGICAL FLEECE.~
Martin: So we're just heading to Antarctica on this death trap and are hoping Earl gets us word somehow of the coordinates of The Great Illuminatus?
Bifford: That's the plan.
Martin: You know that Welsh guy has been pretty firm that you aren't in this match.. what if you actually get to the pyramid and don't die.. What if he doesn't let you in?
Bifford: There are multiple ways to get into a match..
~Bifford reaches into THE MAGICAL FLEECE and pulls out a handgun. Martin and his father put up their hands in surrender.~
Bifford: I'm not gonna shoot you.. or anyone. I will just shoot the Illuminatus and break in.
Martin: Hold on.. your plan.. is to just.. find this giant Ice Pyramid and start shooting at it and break in?
Bifford: Damn fucking right.
Martin's Dad: Classic OCW, baby..
~A pigeon randomly lands on the deck near the men.~
Martin: What the fuck is a pigeon doing here? It's kinda cold here..
~Bifford reaches down and picks up the pigeon, which appears to have something tied to it. Bifford removes the piece of paper and lets the pigeon go. The pigeon flies into the distance where some large bird of prey attacks and murders it in the background. Bifford unwraps the paper and looks at it.~
Martin: The hell is that? Are you sending messages to someone via carrier pigeon? What the fuck year is this!?!?
Bifford: Earl sent the coordinates..
Martin: WITH A PIGEON!? To our ship that is POWERED BY THE WIND!?
Bifford: Damn right.. Now I've got the coordinates of the Illuminatus.. He's also worried about Kenny..
Martin's Dad: The trial?
Bifford: Yeah.. Kenny thinks he's gonna be found guilty.
Martin: Well no shit..
~Bifford glares at Martin.~
Bifford: Stop being negative.. our man Cornelius Cook is gonna get Kenny off the hook..
Martin: You sound like a fish who thinks another fish is gonna free him when he's bit the bait and is being reeled in. Kenny is going to prison..
~Bifford rolls his eyes.~
Bifford: I'm going to go put these coordinates safely in the lower decks.. and take a nap.. Wake me when we see land.
~Biffords nods to the ghosts and heads downstairs.~
~Brooke Blakely is seen with the six foot Miss Moskowitz by her side.~
Brooke: You see tonight I take my time in the spotlight. Miss Moskowitz and I are going out there and she will see to it that I win this matchup. I am the one who makes everyone say "Oh Shit" when they see me so who better than me to have the Oh Shit contract!?
~She smirks as she walks off, Miss Moskowitz in tow.~
Smith: Brooke sounds confident!
Hood: She’d better be. Not like she’s going in there against Josie Barnes or MELINDA RHODES
Smith: Careful, Hood. Legal reasons.
Hood: Shit, I keep forgetting.
Smith: I’ve been told Miss Moskowitz will, unfortunately, have to remain on board. Three ‘permits’ were issued for ringside access. They were given to Wrigley, Maddie Stokes, and Corey Smith.
Hood: What? No Steffin?
Smith: He’s not on the list.
Hood: THE FIX IS IN
Smith: Relax.
Hood: I can’t relax. My hands are freezing!
Brad Stokes/Harmon Egan/Delia Black/Brooke Blakely/ICE Beckman/SYNN/Thunder Knuckles/The Standard/Donnie Harris/Ehud Gray II
Hood: Ah!
Smith: Well folks, the waiting is over. We’re here ringside in the subzero temperatures of Antarctica and we’re ready to get this Arctic Rumble underway.
Hood: Who came up with that name anyway?
Smith: I would imagine Marcus Welsh, or maybe Adi. Why?
Hood: Shouldn’t it be an Antarctic Rumble? You know, since we’re in Antarctica?
Smith: That… makes sense. But I don’t think that’s really the point. It’s cold, we’re bundled up, and the rules of the match are simple. The match will start when all 10 entrants are in the ring. Over the top battle royale rules are in place. The only way to eliminate one of your opponents is to throw them over the top rope and out into the snow.
Hood: The forecast says we’re in for blizzard-like conditions later this evening. Here’s hoping these guys and girls end this one quickly.
Smith: One thing is certain. With the Oh Shit world title contract on the line, there will be a level of desperation not normally seen in a Massacre match. Who are some of your early favorites?
Hood: Obviously any match the Bastards are in they’re going to have the advantage. TK gets his shot at redemption. Egan is still undefeated. My money is on those two, maybe giving TK a slight edge since Egan already has a shot at the belt in March.
Smith: Those two certainly are the betting favorites. If I had to pick an out-of-the-box winner, I’d keep my eye on Donnie Harris. This guy went toe-to-toe with TLS last week, nearly picking up a huge win, then inserted himself later and cost TLS the world title after his cash in.
Hood: He certainly stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. But sometimes that’s what it takes to make a statement in this business.
Smith: Indeed. Well that’s enough talking, let’s head to the ring and get this action underway.
~The camera cuts to the ring in the snow. The OCW faithful stand aboard the PROUD AND STRONG ship, looking on. Their normal raucous behavior is toned down as many are rubbing up on each other for warmth. At least let’s just say it’s for warmth and leave it at that. Belvedere mounts the ring steps but nearly slips as they’ve iced over. He manages to keep himself upright by holding onto the top rope, eliciting a laugh from the faithful. He rights himself and pulls his microphone from his pocket.~
Belvedere: Uh… hmm. Ok. Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is the ARCTIC RUMBLE!!!
~The crowd cheers.~
Hood: Antarctic.
Belvedere: The winner of this match will be the recipient of an Oh Shit Contract, which can be used at any time to cash in for an opportunity at any championship in OCW...including the OCW Title!!
~Some generic instrumental music begins to play.~
Belvedere: Please join me in welcoming the first four contestants… Brooke Blakely, Natural ICE Beckman, Delia Black, and the patriarch of the Stokes Family Dynasty… Brad Stokes!!!
~Brad Stokes, already in the ring, looks on. He’s got that thousand yard stare. The eye of an eagle. Snowmobiles approach, delivering Delia and Wrigley to the ring...along with Brooke and ICE Beckman. They all enter the ring and keep their distance...trying to find the best spot under a heater~
Smith: Beckman seems to be winning the fans over by handing out his comic strips that went viral this past week on social media.
Hood: Donnie’s Ears and Jeers was my personal favorite.
Smith: I was kind of partial to Single White Knuckle Male, myself.
~Delia Black looks down at Wrigley. She motions if she should hide under the ring to start. Wrigley is like, ‘No, no, maybe later. Pay attention!’ Delia turns back around, looking at her opponents in the ring. Wrigley looks over at Maddie, wondering if she’s going to be an issue...but all Maddie seems concerned with is her father’s condition~
Hood: Brad Stokes has no business being out here. That guy’s a chair shot away from the morgue.
Smith: His daughter’s pleas have fallen on deaf ears. He seems confident he can still go, even at 68 years of age.
Hood: He probably can’t hear her. The dude’s 68. Time for some hearing aides.
Belvedere: Introducing the next group of competitors… Donnie Harris, Ehud Gray II, and SYNN!!!
~Donnie Harris and Ehud are both driven out to the ring via snowmobiles. Donnie looks focused...his ears remaining stiff and firm in the wind. Ehud, meanwhile, looks around with that confused expression. Why is he even out here? What is going on?~
Smith: Ehud Gray II is taking up the wrestling mantle for his late father.
Hood: You serious? There’s a better chance that Melinda Rhodes is in the Great Illuminatus than this guy is Ehud’s son.
~And out comes SYNN, driven to the ring via snowmobile. She looks focused...sadistically focused~
Belvedere: And your final three competitors… The Standard, Thunder Knuckles, and YOUR OCW CRAZE CHAMPION… Harmon Egan!!!
~And, finally, Standard and Harmon Egan are driven out to the ring. Harmon with Corey alongside. Standard gets into the ring and glares at Harmon who, for some reason, gets to bring Corey with him while Steffin had to remain onboard the PROUD AND STRONG. And then we spot TK! I guess he was under the ring or something. But he pops out and shakes hands with Harmon, the two men entering the ring together with Corey remaining at ringside~
Smith: There’s the story of this match, Hood. The Brotherhood of Bastards already showing a sign of solidarity. There’s no doubt these two main eventers will work together to make sure they’re the last two standing.
Hood: Hell yeah they will. And when it gets down to them it’s every bastard for himself!
~Belvedere exits the ring, as does Tuff, leaving only Scruff on the inside to officiate. He motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell.~
DING DING DING
Smith: Here we go!
~TK and Egan waste no time, making a beeline for The Standard. The duo is too much for Stan, who falls to a knee as Egan and TK lay in kicks and punches. Harris hits a running clothesline on SYNN, sending her down hard to the mat. Blakely and Black look to go at it, but they notice ICE Beckman just standing there all alone. The two nod, then hit a double superkick to his chin. Beckman flies backwards over the top rope but manages to land on the ring apron. Black drops down on all fours as Blakely bounces off the ropes. She jumps up onto Black’s back and tries to drop kick Beckman in the face. Instead, Beckman catches her in the air and powerbombs her in the ring. He then drops down and rolls back into the ring with his sights set on Black. Brad Stokes stands alone in the corner, seemingly content to let the others pick themselves off one by one. That doesn’t last long as Ehud Gray II runs over and kicks the old man in the gut. Stokes doubles over but Gray pushes him back into the corner, unleashing a barrage of chops to Stokes’ chest. The thuds echo throughout the vastness of the Antarctic tundra.~
Smith: Those chops are sickening.
Hood: If you look carefully you can almost see Stokes’ chest rolling like ocean waves.
~On the other side of the ring, TK and Egan lift Stan up and lay in the boots in the corner. Egan lifts Stan up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. He backs up and runs forward, kicking Stan in the side of the head. His body flies backwards but he manages to stay on the turnbuckle by locking his legs around the post. TK mounts the buckle and starts laying in shot after shot to Stan’s face. He pauses momentarily to play to the fans which allows Stan to slide under him and hook him for a power bomb. The back of TK’s head slams hard into the mat as Stan stands momentarily over him. Egan rushes him from behind and clotheslines him in the back of the head, sending Stan to the mat as well.~
Smith: I thought the Standard was out of the match for a moment, then he was back in, and now he looks to be in trouble again.
Hood: Egan and TK are at the top of their game. They know Stan is one of the biggest threats in this match. The sooner they get him out, the better.
~Black and Beckman are trading shots while Blakely gets to her feet. She runs at Beckman but is cut off by Gray. He lifts Blakely up onto his shoulders and rolls forward, spiking her into the mat. He then joins Beckman and the two whip Black into the corner. The two size her up as Beckman runs in and delivers a stiff elbow to her face. Gray does the same. The two continue the onslaught, trying to one up each other in the process. Eventually, the rivalry gets the better of the men and they begin wailing on each other. Meanwhile, SYNN has gotten the upper hand on Harris in the opposite corner and gives him a stiff shoulder block to the gut. She whips him off, but he reverses, sending SYNN into Beckman and Gray! The two men go flying through the middle rope and out into the snow.~
Smith: SYNN just sent ICE Beckman and Ehud Gray II out into the snow!
Hood: But they weren’t eliminated, Smith. You have to be thrown over the top rope.
Smith: Still, what a tremendous impact in the middle of the ring. And you have to believe that even if they’re not eliminated, being cold and wet for the remainder of the match has to put the two at a disadvantage.
~Harris rushes forward as SYNN gets to her feet. She lifts him into the air with a back body drop. He lands hard onto Black in the corner. SYNN smiles in the ring before she feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns to see a fired up Brad Stokes. The OCW Faithful come to life as the 68 year old begins a series of punches, rocking SYNN and sending her into the ropes. She bounces off though, and with a head of steam, she spears the Stokes Family patriarch into the mat.~
Smith: Stokes is down!
Hood: His daughter can’t be too happy about this!
~True enough, Maddie Stokes is at ringside pleading for her father to throw in the towel. But Brad Stokes will have none of it. On the other side of the ring, TK and Egan have once again gained the upper hand on Stan. Egan whips Stan across the ring. Stan’s back his the buckle hard, flipping him over backwards. He lands on the ring apron as TK comes from the other side and clotheslines him. Stan’s back hits hard on the ring apron, but he manages to hold onto the bottom rope. Egan and TK each grab the top rope and begin pushing with their foot to knock Stan off. He wraps both arms and legs around the bottom rope, holding on for dear life.~
Smith: The Standard is about to be eliminated!
Hood: Won’t be long now.
~As the bastards continue trying to eliminate Stan, TK is blasted in the back of the head with a drop kick from Brooke Blakely. TK’s momentum takes him over the top rope and onto the apron next to Stan. Egan turns his focus to Brooke as he smashes her in the face with a kick. Stan begins pulling himself up by the middle rope, then the top rope as TK does the same. The two make it to their feet. TK throws a punch, Stan reciprocates. The two continue trading blows, each now holding onto the top rope with only one arm. Egan meanwhile is working Blakely over in the corner. He begins laying in boots as she drops to her butt. Donnie Harris grabs Egan’s neck and drops him with a reverse neck breaker! He lifts Egan off the mat and pushes him into the ropes. Stan and TK continue to trade blows and hold on for dear life. Harris whips Egan toward them, but Egan reverses, sending Harris right toward Stan. Stan manages to see this and at the last possible second, he drops down and kicks TK’s legs out from under him. TK lunges forward right into Harris’ path. As the two collide, Harris falls backwards into the ring while TK is launched off the ring apron and into a large snow embankment.~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen… Thunder Knuckles has been eliminated!!!
Hood: NO!!!!
Smith: Egan is beside himself! He just inadvertently eliminated his stablemate, TK! Wow, who would have seen this coming? What an upset!
~Egan stands in shock. Harris smiles as Stan rolls himself back into the ring. On the other side, Delia Black has mounted SYNN and is wearing her down. Beckman and Ehud Gray II have dislodged themselves from the snow and are re-entering the ring, albeit shivering. Brooke Blakely and Brad Stokes are recovering in opposite corners.~
Smith: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to take our first break from the action. What a fight it’s already been, and only one elimination has taken place.
Hood: Nine competitors remain. Who will win and head into Carpe Noctem with the Oh Shit Contract in their possession?
Smith: We’ll find out before the evening’s up!
Smith: We now have this previously recorded interview with ICE Beckman.
Hood: Why did you have to mention that it was previously recorded?
Smith: Don’t make me explain why, I hate breaking the fourth wall. I am not an amateur worker; I am a professional.
Hood: That reminds me; did you know even Antarctica has hookers?
Smith: It does? How do you? Never mind, just go to the interview clip please.
~The show cuts to backstage; where Leo is holding a mic in front of a large OCW Massacre background banner.~
Leo: Please welcome Mr. Natural ICE Beckman.
~ICE walks in, with his furry face, trademark smile, and his ice-cold beer companion.~
ICE: Leo, before you even ask me a question, I want you to know this...Shut the Fuck Up. I am out here to talk about me.
Leo: Okay.
ICE: I am Natural ICE Beckman. When everyone around here first heard that name, they thought of a shitty beer that gets you super fucking drunk, super fucking fast. And I am super fucking glad they thought that, because it is %100 accurate of who I really am.
~Leo’s face expresses confusion.~
ICE: I am Natural. I don’t fucking hide behind emotional bullshit. I don’t paint my face. I don’t suppress my feelings. I don’t rely on my past. I don’t create absurd situations. I don’t fight among friends. I don’t cower away from a challenge. I don’t build myself up based on failure. Simply put, in a world full of hyped-up garbage, I am naturally talented.
~ICE takes a moment to quench his thirst.~
ICE: I am ICE. I am cold-hearted. I was raised in a world where feelings were ignored. Every time I seek humor, you will find pain. I survive on the suffering of others. My fists strike harder and faster than my conscious mind could ever understand. If you hit me over and over, I’ll accept the pain as normal; but when I hit you back, you’ll beg for a new beginning.
~With smug look ICE offers another thought.~
ICE: I am Beckman. A family name that comes with a massive ego. My confidence creates shadows of darkness in your world. I am not only the %1, but the %99 as well, making me %100 in the end. When my ancestors were crawling onto land, the rest of OCW roster’s ancestors were deciding the bottom of the ocean was good enough for them.
~ICE finishes his beer before delivering his line.~
ICE: And fuck it, I am a fucking beer. Cold, refreshing, and something that will make your life better. Drink up OCW, for I am coming down your fucking throat whether you like it or not.
~Natural ICE Beckman grabs the microphone from Leo in order to drop the mic.~
Hood: This Natural ICE Beckman seems like legit future superstar; and he for sure didn’t give me $10 to say that.
Smith: You’re holding $20.
Hood: He also didn’t give me another $10 to not mention the first $10.
Smith: While I am guessing ICE will be expecting a refund soon, let’s move on.
Brad Stokes/Harmon Egan/Delia Black/Brooke Blakely/ICE Beckman/SYNN/The Standard/Donnie Harris/Ehud Gray II
Smith: We're back to the action folks, besides TK, there have been no other eliminations.
Hood: Ehud and Stan were close to being eliminated. But nine competitors remain, only one will walk away as the Oh Shit contract holder.
Smith: Speaking of Oh Shit contract holder, it looks like we have a special guest at the announce table. It's the former Oh Shit contract holder TLS.
Hood: Oh geez!
~Meanwhile in the ring. Ehud and Brad Stokes are in a collar and elbow lockup.~
Smith: You can hear the bones crack everytime Brad makes a move.
Hood: His daughter is still imploring him to leave.
TLS: ( places his head set on) I think Ehud forgot to wear his adult diaper. His backside is wet.
Smith: That may be from being ass deep in the snow.
~Brad Stokes whips Ehud against the ropes, Ehud slips and falls before he reaches the ropes. Stokes throws his arms in the air in frustration as Brooke Blakely delivers a clothesline from behind that decimates the senior citizen. The Standard is recuperating in a corner as the crowd chants " Natural ICE!". Beckman has a hold of Donnie Harris and drops him with a vicious slam.~
Hood: How does it feel knowing that Donnie Harris could very well walk away as the Oh Shit holder after casting you your shot last week?
TLS: It doesn't feel good. But if I get a chance, I'll pay him back.
Smith: Back to the action. Delia Black just nearly eliminated Egan, but he was able to hold on to the top rope. He kicks his feet up, struggling to lift himself up.
Hood: The fans gave him a huge pop, but too bad he couldn't hear them.
TLS: SYNN is doing some weird shit in the ring. On her knees and sticking her tongue out and making weird noises.
~Stan kicks her in the face. SYNN doubles over in pain as the crowd boos him.~
Smith: The Standard with a vicious kick.
Hood: I don't know what the hell SYNN was thinking.
~Brooke Blakely grabs Old Man Stokes and delivers a snap ddt. Ehud is getting back to his feet slowly. Brooke grabs Stokes again and whips him right into Ehud. Both men collapse to the mat. Beckman delivers a boot to Donnie Harris' midsection then turns his attention to Brooke who has her back to him. Beckman spins her around then whips her towards the ropes where Egan is still dangling. Brooke, salsa right over the rope and onto the ice.~
Belvedere: Brooke Blakely has been eliminated!
Smith: And there goes Brooke Blakely. There are 8 left in the match.
Hood: One of these 8 will have that coveted Oh Shit contract. How does it feel TLS, to be so close but fail again?
TLS: ( Flicks Hood in the forehead) How does that feel?
Hood: Owie…
TLS: Stop asking me dumb questions Hood.
~Egan is finally able to lift himself back into the ring. He surveys the scene. Ehud and Brad Stokes are lifeless on the mat. Donnie Harris is resting in a corner. The Standard has Delia Black in a headlock. Beckman is in another corner changing up for a turnbuckle splash on Harris. Egan doesn't hear SYNN making weird noises and movements behind him. SYNN comes from behind and drops Egan with a Russian leg sweep. Beckman runs and leaps at Donnie Harris who moves out of the way. Beckman falls to the mat, clutching his chest.~
Hood: Somebody get the Iceman and ice pack. That looks like it hurts.
Smith: Harris moved out the way just in time. It could have been a disaster for him.
TLS: I think Ehud and Stokes are dead. Someone needs to check their pulse.
~The Standard launches Delia Black in the air, then drops her with a spinning implant DDT! He poses for the crowd, he doesn't see SYNN coming from behind. She chop blocks him. SYNN lets out a loud wali and twists her body.~
TLS: Is SYNN doing this to scare people or is she purposely trying to look like a dumbass?
Smith: That may be your opinion, but she's been pretty effective in the ring.
Hood: She scares me.
~Donnie Harris walks over to Ehud and Stokes, he bends down to lift Ehud up, but gets poker in the eye. Ehud rolls away as Harris holds his eyes. Brad Stokes begins to stir. Maddie is on the outside slamming her fists on the mat. Brad is on one knee, he reaches for Donnie Harris and pulls himself up. Donnie pushes Brad away. Stokes stumbles back and bounces off the rope, he goes for a clothesline on Harris, Harris ducks under and them hits the old man with an elbow to the side of the head.~
Smith: Stokes just can't stay up can he?
Hood: I mean he is 68 years old.
TLS: Maybe he should try blue chew.
~Delia Black is on her feet, and moves towards SYNN. They stare each other down.
SYNN sticks her tongue out as Black tells her to "bring it". Both women take a step forward, then begin to trade fisticuffs. Everyone else in the ring stands back and let the two go at it. Black gets the upper hand and has SYNN in a wristlock. SYNN does some weird shit with her body and ends up behind Black. She twists Black's elbow and pushes her towards the ropes. SYNN tries pushing Black over the ropes but Black is able to grab hold of the bottom rope. Ehud sees his moment and runs as fast as he can towards SYNN. Ehud goes for a shoulder tackle but SYNN moves at the last moment. Ehud catches himself on the top rope. He uses his legs to wrap around the rope.~
Smith: Ehud looks like a pig on a spit.
Hood: Ehud needs to hang on.
~Black lays on the apron and with both feet she lifts Ehud up and sends him into the ice.~
Belvedere: Ehud Gray II has been eliminated!
Smith: EHUD IS ELIMINATED!!!
Hood: And then there are Seven.
Smith: What do you think about what just happened TLS?.......TLS?
Hood: He's making his way to the ring.
~The Standard grabs SYNN and tries to throw her out of the ring but she is able to escape. Black rolls back into the ring and is met by a boot from Old Man Stokes. Egan has Beckman in a muay thai clinch and begins to deliver knees to his midsection. He then delivers a huge european uppercut. Beckman staggers backwards, Egan charges up and delivers a drop kick that nearly sends Beckman over the ropes. Beckman holds on as Egan tries to push him out. Meanwhile SYNN has Stan in a lotus lock. Stokes hooks Black up and delivers a power bomb.~
Hood: The old man still got it.
Smith: I'm impressed. What's TLS doing?
~TLS is at ringside...how did he get there so easily and quickly? Classic OCW, baby! He makes eye contact with Maddie Stokes. He mumbles something to her, then kicks her in the gut. He then body slams her into the snow. Brad sees this and starts to yell at TLS. Donnie Harris comes from behind and scoops the old man out of the ring. But Brad Stokes lands right into TLS's waiting arms. Harris yells something at TLS.~
Smith: Did Harris just eliminate Stokes?
Hood: His feet didn't touch the ice. He's still in, unless TLS drops him.
~TLS lifts the old man in a guerrilla press and tosses him back into the ring. Harris is lívid. He points at TLS and shouts at him. Egan comes from behind and scoops Harris out and over the ropes and into the snow!~
Belvedere: Donnie Harris has been eliminated!
Smith: Egan just eliminated Donnie Harris!!!
Hood: And now there are 6.
~Harris gets up from the snow and lunges at TLS. Both men brawl in the snow. Snowmobiles rush in to pull them apart. Back in the ring, Beckman has regained his stability and is safe. He sees SYNN with Stan all locked up...he rushes over and kicks SYNN in the face, knocking her to the ground. He then puts the boots to her~
Smith: Beckman going after SYNN
Hood: He saw how close she was to defeating Harmon at Decadence. The sooner you get her out, the better!
~Egan looks on at TLS and Harris brawling in the deep, deep snow. Corey tries to get him to pay attention. But, before he can, Brad runs up and tries to eliminate Egan!! The fans gasp!! He’s got Egan up and nearly over the top rope~
Smith: Is Brad Stokes going to eliminate Harmon Egan?
Hood: Don’t act so fuckin shocked if he does. HE’S A LEGEND. 30X Hall of Famer, man.
Smith: The undefeated Craze Champ is on the ropes, LITERALLY! Stick around, folks! More after this break!
Brad Stokes/Harmon Egan/Delia Black/ICE Beckman/SYNN/The Standard
~Beckman finishes stomping SYNN into the corner. He pauses and looks out at the crowd...he then turns his attention down toward Maddie as she has her focus solely on her dad, Brad. Brad is trying to eliminate Harmon Egan. The pro wrestling LEGEND going after the odds-on favorite. ICE leaves SYNN behind and goes after Brad. He drills him in the back with a right hand! Punching him right in the spine! Brad stumbles to the side, allowing Harmon to fall back into the ring. Stokes picks Brad up...he holds him high...Maddie leans forward, hands gripping the apron, teetering on the edge of action...ICE brings Brad down across his knee with a HUGE backbreaker~
Smith: Oh no!
Hood: Hey, survival of the fittest. If you’ve got a bad back or shitty legs then maybe you should find another passion.
Smith: I just wish Maddie wasn’t out there to see this. Can you imagine how traumatizing this must be?
Hood: No more traumatizing than these fans having to live with the idea that a 70 year old man in a fuckin wheel chair might win an OH SHIT contract.
~ICE doesn’t relent...he rolls Brad over and sits on his back, locking in a Camel Clutch! Brad grimaces...but he doesn’t yell. The man who appears in AT LEAST 30 Hall of Fames is no bitch. ICE cranks back, looking like he’s really, really settling in, feeling comfortable. Meanwhile, Egan, back on the mat, looks over at SYNN In the corner. They lock eyes for a second until Stan rushes in with a kick into SYNN’s face! The fans boo the Newcomer of the Month. Egan starts to move, like he’s going to help...but he’s blindsided with a kick from Delia! Egan falls through the ropes, onto the apron. Delia grabs onto the top rope and uses both feet to try and push him off the apron. But Wrigley yells back, “He has to go OVER the top rope! FFS.” Delia pauses, going over the rules in her head~
Smith: Delia with a momentary lapse in focus.
Hood: Cut her some slack. She was a missing person not that long ago. Milk cartons, Unsolved Mysteries, True Crime Podcasts...NANCY GRACE...her story was EVERYWHERE.
Smith: I must have missed it.
Hood: Heartless bastard.
~While Delia does some mental math, Egan is able to slide back into the ring between her legs. Wrigley throws his arms in the air. Egan pops to his feet...he hits the ropes, bounces off and charges at Delia. Delia turns around...she’s frozen in the moment. Egan narrows in but BAM! He gets blasted with a shoulder tackle from The Standard!! Egan’s body flies into a corner, hitting HARD! The fans BOOO!! Corey moves around Wrigley over to his client’s corner, checking on him. Stan yells at the refs to keep Corey back, more than a little aware of how outside issues can influence a match. Stan then starts to stomp on Egan, keeping him down~
Smith: The Standard out of NOWHERE with that shoulder tackle!
Hood: Yea, he sent Egan flying. These two have been at odds for awhile, now.
Smith: Word backstage is Stan wanted a rematch with Egan tonight but management was dead set on this show being a one match event.
Hood: Well, he kinda got what he wanted.
Smith: Kinda doesn't really work for The Standard.
~Delia gets away from the ropes at Wrigley’s urging. She walks past ICE who continues to pull back on his camel clutch. She spots SYNN alone, in a corner. This looks easy. She heads over and reaches down to grab SYNN...but SYNN springs up and grabs at Delia’s face! The fans go wild!! Delia is stumbling back...SYNN’s right hand is digging into her face while her left hand navigates. Delia screams out in pain. SYNN backs her up against the ropes...she whips her off...but right into a knee lift!!! Delia doubles over...SYNN then tosses her over the top rope!!! Delia hits the apron, hard! She immediately wraps her body around the bottom rope. SYNN stomps at Delia, trying to get her to let go...but the woman’s arms and legs are, apparently, really strong when in a crisis clutch. SYNN sighs and looks around, trying to unlock the situation~
Smith: Delia hanging in there...much like she did at Decadence. She just hangs around, survives and then pops a big win right at the end.
Hood: Yea, but I don’t think she’s flying under the radar tonight. You get one opportunity like that and when, if you succeed. The word is out.
Smith: Indeed.
~SYNN hops out of the ring, over the top rope! Why? No idea. She lands on the apron and kicks at Delia...she’s determined to get this woman out and into the snow. SYNN drops off the apron and onto the steel catwalk that surrounds the ring...the last line of defense before plunging into the snow. SYNN stands next to Delia...Delia’s back to her, still wrapped around the bottom rope. SYNN grabs at Delia’s ear and pulls really hard. Black slaps at SYNN’s hand...but this is the opening SYNN needs...she pulls Delia off the bottom rope and onto her shoulders into a Fireman’s Carry~
Smith: Oh no! All SYNN has to do is toss Delia into the snow and she’s eliminated!
Hood: Where there’s a SYNN there’s a way...or something like that.
~SYNN turns, Delia’s head faces the snow. The member of Influence realizes she’s in deep shit. She wiggles her legs, trying to break free...SYNN sticks her tongue out and furrows her brow, trying to maintain her leverage. Delia throws a few hard elbows into SYNN’s ear, knocking her off balance! Wrigley looks on from across the ring, anxious. Almost expecting an elimination. SYNN staggers into the apron...Delia breaks free and she stands on the apron, looking down at SYNN! She then leaps off with a hurricanrana!!! She spins around...SYNN holds...Delia then tosses SYNN into the steel steps!!! SYNN hits hard!!! Both women come to rest on the steel catwalk as the fans aboard the PROUD AND STRONG go wild! Wrigley exhales, for the moment...although neither woman would be categorized as ‘safe’~
Smith: Wow! What a move by Delia!
Hood: Fuckin crazy, though. She could’ve easily been eliminated along with SYNN.
Smith: Yea, I’m sure Wrigley might have a word or two with her about her decision making process when all of this is over.
~Back inside the ring, ICE has Brad just about out. Maddie leans in, pleading with her dad...but he looks like he’s done in. ICE looks down at Maddie and shrugs...it’s just business, baby. She yells at him to get off her father...but he’s not about to lose this point of leverage. Maddie doesn’t know what to do...but then, she starts to quietly sing “She says, we've got to hold on to what we've got”...ICE looks at her like ‘wtf’. She continues, “It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not”~
Smith: What on Earth?
Hood: All these stokes people are crazy.
Smith: Are those...are those the lyrics to LIVIN ON A PRAYER?
~“We've got each other and that's a lot for love”...she pauses before hitting “We’ll give it a shot”...and the OCW PROUD AND STRONG catch on as they croon out from the ship in the distance. “Woah, we're half way there!!!” “Woah, livin' on a prayer!!!” We even see a cruiser standing on the edge of the ship with a boombox over his head! The fans go wild!! Brad’s eyes open...he fires up!! He slams both fists into the mat, pushing back to all fours. ICE looks around, shocked~
Smith: Listen to these people!
Hood: I’d rather not, they’re all out of tune.
~Stokes reaches back and grabs ICE’s hair, flipping Beckman over!! He hits the mat hard! Tremendous ovation from the fans! Maddie slaps the mat, fired up. Brad gets to his feet and stomps around...he turns toward ICE...ICE, back on his feet, throws a heavy hand at Brad...but Brad blocks it and punches ICE in the face! ICE stumbles into the ropes...Brad rears back and BLAST! A haymaker right into the side of ICE’s head!! ICE goes over the top rope...but his hands hit the mat...he braces himself, hanging upside down with his legs leaning against the top rope. Brad seizes the moment...as all wrestling legends do...he climbs onto the middle rope, grabs ICE’s legs under his arms and leans back with a very modified very awkward looking high angle boston crab!!! ICE yells out in pain, staring at the apron, his hands still flat and against the surface...Brad leans back, seated on the top rope, both legs under his arms~
Smith: Well, I’ve never seen a Boston Crab performed like this before.
Hood: That’s why Brad’s in 30 Hall of Fames and you can’t even make Smithsonian of the Month in your own fan club.
Smith: That’s not my fault! I’ve told you how the voting works!
Hood: Ah, fuck off ya loser.
~Maddie gets in close, looking at ICE...he looks over at her, grinding his teeth, jaw clinched...in pain and full of anger. She smiles back at him. Brad leans and leans and leans, trying to inflict as much pain as possible...until...he falls over!!! He and ICE tumble over, off the apron and onto the metal catwalk! Maddie hops out of the way before trying to help her dad up...but he yells at her to stay back! She listens. Brad gets to his feet, holding his back. ICE remains on all fours…Brad yells, runs forward and he kicks ICE in the midsection, sending him into the steps~
Smith: Brad’s determined to do this all himself.
Hood: This is going to be super inspirational up until the point he dies in the ring.
Smith: I hope that doesn’t happen.
~Stokes grabs ICE by the hair, pulling him up and looking toward THE SNOW. He goes to toss him into the snow but ICE wraps his arms around Brad’s body with a bearhug, applying tremendous pressure to his back!! Maddie looks on from behind her head...she wants to help, she starts to help...but she holds off. Brad yells out...ICE shakes him...ICE looks to throw him into the snow...but Brad punches ICE a few times before leaning in and biting ICE on the cheek!!! ICE yells out in pain!!! He loses his grip...Brad then tosses ICE over and into the snow!!! Huge pop from the proud and strong~
Belvedere: Natural ICE Beckman has been Eliminated!
Smith: And there goes ICE! Brad did it! He survived Beckman!
Hood: Fuckin old man is getting dangerously close to pulling this off. We’re halfway there.
Smith: Whoa…
Hood: Don’t you fuckin do it!
~Brad turns around and looks at a very happy Maddie. He shows no emotion, rolling back into the ring, remaining focused. He gets to one knee and looks up...The Standard is hovering over...Stan reaches back with his boot to kick Brad in the face but he’s blasted from behind with a dropkick from Egan!!! Stan stumbles front first into a corner. Egan then offers his hand to Brad, to help him up. Brad accepts...the fans aboard the PROUD AND STRONG cheer. Brad gets to his feet and he quickly sticks a thumb into Egan’s eye!!! The PROUD AND STRONG boo!!! Egan stumbles back into another corner. Brad pursues, punching Egan in the midsection with an array of body shots~
Smith: Classic Brad.
Hood: He’s so old Egan had no idea this guy was even a thing. Didn’t get to watch any tapes to realize this dude will do whatever he needs to win.
Smith: I think we sometimes forget, due to his success, just how young Harmon is.
~With Brad working Egan over and Stan still trying to find his bearings...we cut back outside where SYNN and Delia are both down, on the metal catwalk. SYNN pulls herself up using the apron. She locates Delia, who is seated against the ring steps. A sadistic look comes across SYNN’s face...Delia sees it and has no idea what she’s planning, only that she needs to get the fuck outta there. SYNN charges at Delia...Delia dives under the ring and crawls out of sight! SYNN’s leg flies forward SLAMMING into the steel ring steps...she reaches down, wincing in pain~
Smith: Oh no, was that her knee?
Hood: I think so...definitely the same leg.
Smith: And look at Delia...hiding once again!
Hood: Oh so I guess she was supposed to just sit there and have her head get crushed. It’s official, Smith wants Delia Black to die.
Smith: I do not!
~SYNN continues to clutch at her leg...but we’re unable to see whether or not it’s the knee. Back inside the ring, Brad has Egan downed in the corner. He’s stomping a gravesite into the man...because, ya know, some might say Brad is nearing the grave. He pauses, feeling a presence next to him...it’s a man on the OTHER side of the life spectrum, The Standard. He throws some boots into Egan, assisting Brad. Brad nods and pats Stan on the shoulder right before turning and kicking Stan in the groin!!! The fans are kinda mixed on this move. Stan doubles over, stumbling into the ropes. Outside, Maddie covers her face...her dad sure could use some help in there...but he keeps alienating everyone~
Smith: Brad turns on Stan...so he’s eliminated ICE, turned on Egan and now, turned on Stan!
Hood: A true legend like Brad...a king kong among mere gorillas...he doesn’t NEED any help. He creates his own help via his fists and his legs and hits muscles.
Smith: Okay, sure. But he’s 70 years old and was stricken to a wheelchair like two days ago...a little help MIGHT
Hood: You better watch it or one of the 69 Stokes family members will be on you like white on rice.
Smith: Is that term still socially acceptable?
Hood: Why wouldn’t it be?
~Brad hammers Stan with some right hands...mixing a few chops in for good measure. Stan staggers back...until Egan enters the picture, chopping Brad across the chest!! Stokes stumbles back against the ropes...Egan is unloading! Chop after chop after chop after chop!!! Brad leans against the ropes, stunned. Maddie rushes around, looking up. Stan recovers...he runs at Brad in unison with Egan...a double clothesline!!! Brad flips over the top rope but sticks the landing on the metal catwalk. He looks up, shaking his head at the two ‘youngsters’. They’ve really gone and done it now...Maddie urges her dad to get back in the ring~
Smith: Tremendous balance by Brad.
Hood: You say that like it’s a shock that a man in 30 Hall of Fames might be able to land on his feet. PUT SOME RESPECT ON HIS NAME.
Smith: Calm down. He’s earning it.
~The apron underneath Brad starts to move. He doesn’t notice. Delia’s head pops out! She’s on her knees, looking up...she’s eye level with Brad’s crotch. Brad feels her down there and looks down like ‘what the…’ Delia looks up. Maddie’s eyes widen...this is weird. Delia pops up and shoves Brad back...he staggers, losing his balance...Maddie starts to reach out and grab him, but she pulls back, knowing he’d just get angry at her...Brad falls off the catwalk and into the snow!!!!~
Belvedere: Brad Stokes has been eliminated!!!
Smith: Well, there he goes.
Hood: Quick, get him out of that snow before his heat melts it all and ruins the climate of an entire continent!
Smith: Poor Maddie...I’m sure she wanted to jump in there and help her dad...but it was made abundantly clear he wasn’t having it.
Hood: Hey, win or lose, at least Brad did it all on his own. As any PROUD and STRONG individual would want it to go down.
~Maddie is helped off the metal catwalk onto a board being pulled by a snowmobile. They then get to retrieving Brad out of the snow. Back in the ring, Egan and Stan look on, relieved Brad has been eliminated. They then look down at Delia...she darts back under the ring. Stan and Egan turn and look at one another...the crowd rises...they know what’s coming...the two men break into a full on brawl!! The fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” as the two up and coming stars beat each other up in the center of the ring~
Smith: We’re down to our final four! But it’s time to cut to a break! Stick around, folks...the conclusion of the Arctic Rumble is next, after this break!
Hood: Can we hurry it up, I’m freezing!
~The scene opens with Bifford asleep on a cot in the lower decks of his SPANISH GALLEON that he has named The Biff Express. He snores peacefully until a man in a grape costume runs up to where he is asleep. The man covered in grapes, his dead former manager, the ghost of Martin Ka'Berryon, begins shaking Bifford violently. Bifford's eyes open and we see Martin and his dad from Bifford's point of view.~
Martin: BIFFORD WAKE UP! THERE'S A MONSTER COMING!
Martin's Dad: We see something in the distance.. following us.. we don't know what it is.
~Bifford stands and the three men (or man and two ghosts?) go upstairs. They walk to the edge of the ship and look in the distance. There is something out there.~
Bifford: Where's our binoculars!?
~A crew member hands Bifford some binoculars and he looks through it. The camera is also able to see that far away and it's obviously a very modern and very well-equipped military vessel of some sort, coming at them at a high speed.~
Martin: Bifford.. we told you, you can't just go to Antarctica. You need permission.
Bifford: We need permission because they don't want us to find the edge and for the world to know the truth about Flat Earth.
Martin: Oh not this bullshit again..
~Somewhere in the distance, a loudspeaker from the military ship produces a voice~
Military Ship: You are not allowed here and it is not safe to operate a sailing ship in these waters. Please turn back or we will take action.
Martin: Bifford.. turn back.
~Bifford looks around, looking panicked.~
Martin: Bifford, you're not in the Illuminatus.. and you probably would have died trying to get there on your own. Just turn back.
Military Ship: You have 30 seconds to reverse course or we will fire.
Martin: BIFFORD! TURN AROUND! MAKE THE ORDER! There are 40 Argentinian crewmen on this boat..
~Bifford makes a run for the other side of the ship. There's a massive jet ski that definitely didn't seem to be there earlier hanging off the side of it.~
Martin: Wait.. what!?
Military Ship: You have 10 seconds!
~Bifford jumps on the giant jet ski. Martin and his father run after him and jump on it as it begins rapidly being lowered into the water. The camera, still on the ship, looks back to the military vessel which fires something toward the ship.~
Martin: We are all gonna die... again...
~Finally reaching the water, Bifford and the two ghosts fire up the jet ski and sail away at a furious pace. Heading away from the boat.~
Martin: Bifford... please tell me.. please tell me you have those coordinates.
~Bifford's eyes grow large as he looks over his shoulder at the ship they're furiously fleeing from. It bursts into flames and explodes violently.~
Bifford: We'll be okay.. I don't have them... but.. that doesn't matter.. We'll just.. be able to see the pyramid... How big can Antarctica be? It can't be that big..
~The ghosts' eyes all grew large with fear as the three of them sailed off into the cold waters of uncertainty.~
Harmon Egan/Delia Black/SYNN/The Standard
Smith: And we’re back for the final portion of tonight’s Arctic Rumble! Someone is going to walk out of here with an OH SHIT Contract!
Hood: Gives them at least a 50/50 shot at winning the OCW Title.
Smith: We’re down to four...Undefeated Craze Champion, Harmon Egan who is getting an OCW Title shot in March. Delia Black, of The Influence, who won a New Year’s Ball Match at Decadence for a Craze Title shot in March. The Standard who came up JUST short of dethroning Egan and taking the Craze Title a few weeks ago. And, SYNN...she came probably the closest anyone has come to dethroning Egan when she injured the champ in a ‘Speak Up’ Match at Decadence before losing to the champion.
Hood: So, lots of Craze title implications with these four.
Smith: Yes. You could definitely make that assertion.
~Stan and Egan are trading punches...neither man giving an inch. The PROUD AND STRONG faithful on their feet...in the background we see THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS looming over both men, watching. Corey leans forward, keeping a close watch on the action, as well. Stan lands two consecutive punches, rocking Egan...he rears back for a haymaker...but Egan ducks and takes off...he hits the ropes. Stan turns around...Egan bounces off the ropes and leaps up into the air with a flying forearm!!! Stan stumbles back into the ropes. Egan charges at him...Stan ducks and lifts Egan up and over onto the apron!! The fans gasp. Stan throws a back elbow...but Egan ducks!! Egan sprints across the apron to the corner, leaping up onto the top buckle. Stan frantically turns to face him...but Egan is already airborne, soaring through the arctic sky before landing on top of Stan and taking him down!!! There is no pin...instead, Stan shoves Egan off...Egan rolls under the bottom rope to the apron while Stand does the same, perpendicular to Egan’s apron~
Smith: Fast paced action here. I think Stan’s learned a thing or two since his last battle with Harmon.
Hood: Egan is so, so quick. And he this with such, such precision. Might take a match or two with him before you understand the speed and skill.
Smith: I’d say so.
~Meanwhile, SYNN is seated on the steel steps, rubbing her leg around the knee. As she does, she sees the apron start to move. She pauses. Freezes. She knows what...who’s under there. Slowly she starts to walk up the steps onto the apron, keeping her focus down near the metal catwalk...the apron cloth that hangs down. It continues to move. Wrigley looks on from the opposite side of the ring...he drops down, lifting the cloth from over there, trying to get a message to Delia~
Smith: If Delia crawls out SYNN is going to jump right on her.
Hood: Wrigley’s trying to tell her that...listen, Delia! Listen to that man!
Smith: If SYNN catches Delia in her trap that could be it for the #1 Contender to the Craze Title.
~Wrigley looks up...he does not wear the expression of a man confident that his advice reached the ear of his client. SYNN bends her knees, staring down, licking her lips. Delia slowly starts to emerge...the top half of her body pops out from under the ring! SYNN leaps off! She brings both feet down with a double foot stomp...but Delia moves!!! SYNN’s legs JAM into the metal catwalk, jarring her knee!! Delia scurries out from under the ring and to her feet...she slugs SYNN in the face with a right hand!! SYNN staggers toward the edge of the catwalk, inches away from falling into the snow. Delia brings both hands together and sends them crashing down with a double axe handle...but SYNN blocks it...she yells at Delia, shoving her back!! Delia stumbles into the ring steps, nearly falling over them...SYNN charges forward with a big boot into Delia’s face!!! Delia flips over the ring steps landing on the catwalk on the other side...half her body winds up hanging off the edge, nearly touching the snow~
Smith: Delia is almost eliminated!
Hood: Quick, back under the ring!
Smith: You’re saying she can only win when she hides?
Hood: It worked at Decadence, didn’t it? Don’t mess with a winning formula, Delia!
~SYNN’s leg hangs over the top of the steps as she looks around, smiling. She proceeds to crawl over the steps, staying after Delia. She places her left leg into Delia and tries kicking her off and into the snow...but Delia grips the metal catwalk with her hands...her fingers locking into the tiny patterned holes. SYNN sees what Delia is using for leverage and lifts her leg up, bringing it down to crush her hand...but Delia moves! She rolls toward SYNN and gets to all fours, between SYNN’s legs. Delia then stands up with SYNN on her shoulders!! The fans aboard the PROUD AND STRONG rise!! Delia faces the snow...she tries to toss SYNN off...but SYNN punches Delia in the head!! Delia staggers down the catwalk, toward another set of steps...SYNN hits her again and again until Delia can slam the back of SYNN into the ring post!!! SYNN’s immobilized, for the moment. Delia then POWERBOMBS SYNN into the top of the steps!!! SYNN’s body tumbles over the steps and onto the metal catwalk on the other side. Wrigley stands near SYNN’s body...he looks around before throwing a few cheap kicks at her~
Smith: Oh come on!
Hood: I think he saw a snow spider on her...he was just trying to get rid of it.
Smith: Snow spider? What the heck even is that?
Hood: Oh, man, you don’t wanna know.
~Delia takes a breath while Wrigley keeps SYNN down with his leg. The fans aboard THE PROUD AND STRONG boo. Back around the ring, Egan pulls himself up on the apron. He looks over and sees Stan doing the same. Egan takes a step up onto the middle buckle from the apron...Stan does the same...the two men climb up onto the second apron and begin brawling...both trying to knock the other out of the ring and into the snow. Egan’s punches are quicker...Stan’s are heavier. The crowd roars with approval! Stan starts to fade...Egan’s punches are coming too quick~
Smith: Egan’s got Standard rocked! If he falls, it’s over!
Hood: Well, for him, anyway.
Smith: Indeed...a second consecutive loss to Egan would NOT sit well with The Standard.
Hood: Hey, that’s how it goes sometimes. Can’t script this shit...gotta go in there and win it.
~Stan realizes the match is slipping away...so he throws a thrust shot into Egan’s throat!!! Egan’s eyes widen...his mouth opens...he gasps for air. Stan then grabs Egan by the head as a sinister look crosses his face. He rears back for a huge headbutt...Egan, however, grabs onto Stan’s head, pulls himself up, wraps his legs around Standard’s head and neck and tosses him back into the ring with a Frankensteiner!!!! Standard flips over and lands HARD on the mat!!! The fans aboard the PROUD AND STRONG go wild!!! Egan comes to rest on his knees, atop the bottom buckle, sucking wind~
Smith: What a move! What strength and agility!
Hood: That’s why that dude is undefeated.
Smith: He simply has no holes in his game. The total package.
~Back outside, Delia is urged by Wrigley to get moving. SYNN is starting to come to. Delia walks around the ring steps, balancing along the edge of the catwalk...Wrigley’s eyes bulge…he extends his arms wondering WHY SHE HAS TO WALK RIGHT ON THE EDGE LIKE THAT...but Delia just seems kind of oblivious...she then reaches SYNN and pushes Wrigley back so she can resume control. Wrigley leans against the ringpost, watching...Delia pulls SYNN up and THWOMP! She slams SYNN’s face into the apron. SYNN lays her face on the apron, legs weak. Delia knees her in the ribs! SYNN flips over, her back leaning against the edge of the apron...again, her legs weak~
Smith: SYNN’s in bad shape.
Hood: Is Delia about to eradicate SYNN?
Smith: Maybe.
Hood: Might be the catalyst to starting her own religion.
~Delia grabs SYNN by the arm and tries an irish whip that would send her flying into the snow...but SYNN holds on to the bottom rope. Delia, frustrated, throws a kick into SYNN’s midsection. SYNN releases her grip and stumbles toward the ring steps...Wrigley grabs her...Delia motions for Wrigley to hold on as she lowers he knee pad~
Smith: Uh oh, Delia is going to hit Murdertime Kill Strike!
Hood: Well, this would most certainly eliminate SYNN
~Delia charges forward...but SYNN ducks!! Wrigley gets out of the way!! Delia flies forward, tumbling over the steps!!! She flips over and is about to flip into the snow when she grips the metal catwalk with her hands and does a handstand right on the edge...she leans toward the snow, she fights to get her momentum back toward the ring~
Smith: Delia is almost eliminated!
Hood: Damn, Wrigley wouldn’t take one for the team.
Smith: He got out of there quick.
~Delia continues to struggle with strength and gravity. SYNN sees this as THE MOMENT. She hurries over...Wrigley tries to grab her leg, but she pulls it free...she leaps over the steps and tries to push Delia off...but Delia delivers a knee into SYNN’s head! SYNN wraps her arms around Delia’s body...Delia wiggles...they stumble back, away from the edge...SYNN just reacts and drops Delia on her head with a tombstone on the metal grating!!! Delia goes limp!! SYNN grabs at her right knee, wincing in pain...the fans go wild~
Smith: And that’s probably it for Delia!
Hood: Well, she’s still got to go in that snow.
Smith: I know that...do I look like I don’t know that?
Hood: I don’t know how you look, man.
~With SYNN and Delia down and ¾ away from making an entire, violent rotation of the ring...we cut back to inside where Egan pulls himself up, facing the corner. Stan is on all fours, holding his back. Egan looks over his shoulder at Stan. He turns and charges forward...Stan drops to the mat...Egan jumps over him and leaps onto the middle buckle. He springboards off with a reverse cross body...Stan pops to his feet and he catches Egan!!! He stands in the middle of the ring, eyeing the camera...the tosses Egan over his head with a Fallaway Slam!! But Egan spins several times before landing on his feet behind Stan! He throws a couple of kicks into Stan’s kidney area, causing the taller man to drop to a knee~
Smith: Look at these two...counter after counter.
Hood: It’s gonna be a war, trying to eliminate one another.
Smith: I know neither man wants to lose...but I’d wager they REALLY don’t want to lose to each other.
~Egan hits the ropes and bounces off...he leaps over Stan...but Stan rises and catches Egan on his shoulders!! Egan waves his arms around, trying to gain his balance and counter Stan...but Stan holds onto his legs...so Egan starts punching Stan in the head…straight punches right into the skull...Stan stumbles around, the punches doing their damage. Egan punches and punches...Stan is about to fall when he leaps backward, dropping Egan with an Electric Chair!!! Both men are down once again, on their backs! The fans continue to cheer~
Smith: Once more these two are at a stalemate.
Hood: SYNN and Delia. Stan and Egan. Each war a true battle of attrition.
Smith: Four WARriors giving it all they have to win an Oh Shit Contract. Very, very little separation between these four.
~Outside the ring, Wrigley watches on with great concern. Delia’s barely moved. SYNN has returned to her feet, albeit gingerly. She stumbles around a bit, showing a noticeable limp. She grabs onto the apron, sucking wind...fighting away the pain...she stares out, in her peripheral she spots THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS way off in the distance. She smiles. It seems to encourage her to fight forward, carry on...she starts to turn around...but Delia clips her in the back of the knee!! A short spurt of offense before laying back down on the metal grating. SYNN drops back down to one knee, pained and frustrated~
Smith: I don’t know if Delia just had a very lucky spasm or what...but she hadn’t moved until diving into SYNN’s knee like that.
Hood: Might’ve had a wild dream. I hear this Arctic air can do that to a person.
Smith: Regardless, SYNN was about to take full control UNTIL Delia clipped her knee. So, for the moment, it’s saved her.
~Fighting through the pain and frustration, SYNN returns to both feet...Delia remains down. She stands over Black and reaches down to pull her to her feet...but Delia instantly grabs SYNN’s leg and rises...Wrigley lets out a ‘yes!’...his client using some cerebral tactics by playing possum. SYNN hops around, trying to keep as far away from the edge as possible...Delia falls down, twisting SYNN’s knee with a dragon screw leg whip, tossing SYNN over and into the steps! The fans aboard the PROUD AND STRONG booo!!! SYNN is down, laying up against the steps, holding onto her knee. Delia sits up, taking a moment, holding her head. Behind her, SYNN slowly crawls over the steps~
Smith: SYNN trying to find some protection. It’s not looking good.
Hood: Ya know, if you injure your knee...here’s an idea, and stop me if this sounds crazy, TAKE A FEW WEEKS OFF.
Smith: She’s a warrior, Hood. She’s going to fight through the pain to do what she knows and loves...and that’s fight.
Hood: Bah. Weak ass!
~Delia gets back to her feet, looking for SYNN...Wrigley points across the ring. Delia heads that way, climbing over the ring steps and finding SYNN, face down. Delia reaches down to grab her~
Smith: And these women have fought all the way around the ring on that metal catwalk.
Hood: They either have amazing balance OR we need to make these ‘catwalks’ skinnier.
Smith: I’m a positive guy so I’m going to credit their balance.
Hood: Simp.
Smith: Excuse me? Are you calling me a Simpson?
Hood: Sure.
~Delia grabs SYNN by the right leg, the wounded leg. SYNN scrambles...she tries to crawl under the ring...Delia pulls her back, knowing, from extensive experience, that underneath the ring is verified SAFE SPACE. She pulls back on SYNN as hard as she can...SYNN’s got a grip on something...Delia pulls and pulls...SYNN doesn’t budge. Wrigley leans forward, watching with increasing anxiety. Finally, something gives!! Delia stumbles back, holding SYNN’s boot! She looks at the boot and then down at SYNN...SYNN gets to her feet holding a chair she snatched from under the ring. Delia’s eyes widen...she tries to protect herself with the boot...SYNN slings a wild chair shot and BANG!!! She connects!!! Delia falls back and plunges into the snow!! The fans go wild!!~
Belvedere: Delia Black has been Eliminated!!!
Smith: Underneath the ring giveth and it taketh.
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: Delia had the upper hand until she didn’t….SYNN found a chair to finish her off. A tough loss for Delia...but she’s still got that Craze Title shot and, well, if tonight is any indication, she’s going to be a major threat moving forward.
Hood: Wrigley’s got these women firing on all cylinders. 2023 might be THE YEAR OF INFLUENCE
~Wrigley hops on a platform being dragged by a snowmobile. He’s clearly frustrated as they drive over and pull Delia out of the snow. SYNN falls down upon the metal grating, holding her knee...clearly still in pain. So, we go back to the ring. Harmon is holding his back, remnants from his epic battle with SYNN less than one month ago. He rolls over and crawls for the ropes. Stan sits up, center of the ring, holding his head~
Smith: We’re down to three...SYNN was able to survive Delia Black. Who will survive between Stan and Egan?
Hood: Gotta go with the guy that’s undefeated, right?
Smith: Seems that’s the safe bet...until he loses.
~Egan reaches his feet and sees Stan seated with his back to him...Egan strikes, throwing a superkick at the back of Stan’s head...but Stan ducks and rolls out of the way!! Egan stumbles forward. Stan hurries to his feet...Egan spins around and lunges at Stan with a high knee...but Stan slaps the knee down and slugs Egan in the head with a forearm!! Egan is staggered. Stan throws a big boot...Egan ducks...Stan stumbles past Egan but throws a MULE KICK into Egan’s back!! Egan drops to both knees, arching his back in pain~
Smith: Egan can’t seem to gain the upper hand on Stan!
Hood: Nope. I think Stan might have his number tonight!
~Stan turns around and drives a forearm into Egan’s back! Egan spins around, leaning up against the ropes, reaching for his back. Corey looks up, concerned. Stan grabs Egan and locks a bearhug...but he doesn’t appear to have long term plans...instead, he picks Egan up, runs into a corner and slams him into the buckles, back first!! Egan winces in pain...Stan leans into Egan, applying as much weight and pressure as he can into Egan...working his back against the buckles~
Smith: Stan looking to weaken Egan’s back so he can finally get one over on the Craze Champion.
Hood: Egan talked some MAD shit about Standard earlier this week. I’m sure Standard did not appreciate it.
Smith: Word backstage is that The Standard was very upset after the snafu that cost him the Craze Title a few weeks back. No doubt it’s made him double determined to win tonight.
~Egan knows he’s in trouble...maybe the most trouble he’s been in since joining OCW. So, he fights back...slamming forearms and fists into Stan’s back, trying to get the larger opponent off him. Egan switches to elbows...and he lands the edge of his elbow right into Stan’s spine!! Stan raises up and stumbles back, wincing. That did the trick. Egan hops up onto the second rope...he pauses, taking in some of the cold air to ease the tension in his back. Stan looks up...but he’s too late...Egan leaps off and connects with a flying knee!! Stan is down!! The fans go wild!! Egan rolls over and slams the mat with both fists...the fans stomp along, firing up behind the Undefeated champion~
Smith: And here comes Harmon!
Hood: We’ve seen this before...countless times!
Smith: Standard is gonna have to reach down and locate something he’s yet to utilize since joining OCW if he wants to survive what’s coming.
~Stan’s rocked...he gets to all fours...then to his knees, holding his head. Egan fires up, returning to his feet...he’s behind Stan. Egan runs up and knees Stan in the back!!! Stan staggers into the ropes...Egan rushes forward, grabbing his legs to throw him over!! But Stan holds on! Stan kicks Egan off...Egan stumbles back...Stan turns around and charges at Harmon with a lariat!! But Egan ducks! Egan hits the ropes and turns around only to eat a clothesline from Stan!!! The fans gasp!! Egan goes over the top rope~
Smith: The champ is going over!
Hood: HOLY SHIT
~But Egan holds onto the top rope!!! He uses his momentum to slide back into the ring under the bottom rope and between Stan’s legs!!! The fans go wild!! Stan looks around, confused...he turns and Harmon kips up! He fights through the back pain and knees Stan in the face!! Stan leans against the ropes!! The fans are ready to see him go over...Egan fires forward with a huge SUPERKICK!!! Stan flips over the top rope and to the outside!! The fans go wild!! Egan collapses against the top rope, arms hanging down as he catches his breath and lets his back rest~
Smith: Harmon just kicked The Standard out of the ring!
Hood: Yea, but he’s not in the snow. He’s still alive!
Smith: That’s true...Harmon! Wake up! It’s not finished!
~Stan lands on his feet...he quickly shakes off the trauma and reaches up, grabbing Harmon by the arms!!! Harmon looks down! Corey slaps the mat, trying to urge his protege to resist. Harmon leans back, trying to get away, but Stan has a strong grip and leans back, trying to pull Harmon out of the ring over the top rope~
Smith: Stan’s got Harmon! He’s going to rip him out of the ring!
Hood: Wrestler of the Month and Newcomer of the Month both out for blood! Who will prevail?
Smith: We’re about to find out!
~Stan pulls and pulls...Harmon’s feet are leaving the mat! The fans hold their collective breath. Stan yells out, pulling as hard as he can...and then, SYNN slides into the ring!! She runs up behind Harmon and shoves him out of the ring!!! The momentum sends Harmon over and into Stan, taking both men out and INTO THE SNOW!!! The fans go wild~
Smith: WHAT!?
Hood: What the fuck!
Belvedere: Here is your winner...and the recipient of the OH SHIT Contract….SYNN!!!!!
Smith: SYNN did it! She did it!
Hood: Ya know, I legit forgot she was still in this.
Smith: Outside, recovering from her war with Delia only to capitalize on a tremendous opportunity!
Hood: Well, you said it, nobody has come closer to defeating Harmon than SYNN and tonight, well, she just gave Egan his first loss in OCW.
Smith: 5? 6 months in the making? A career defining win for SYNN
Hood: And now she might legit win the OCW Title.
Smith: She’s got a chance.
~Corey looks on, disappointed. That first loss had to come at some point but, man, it never feels good when it does. SYNN is helped to her feet by Scruff with her arm thrown in the air to a strong ovation from the PROUD AND STRONG~
Smith: A star has been made tonight, Hood.
Hood: Yep...but don’t think The Standard is gonna be cool with this. While she dumped Harmon, she also eliminated The Standard. So that’s twice she’s fucked him over.
Smith: While I wouldn’t use THAT terminology...I’d certainly agree with the fact there’s unfinished business between those two.
Hood: So, Harmon has an OCW Title shot. SYNN just won the OH SHIT Contract. And The Standard has unfinished business with both of them. March is gonna be wild, man.
~SYNN drops to one knee, too tired and pained to celebrate...but she does look out into the distance, over the horizon toward the future...toward THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS~
Smith: Is she in it, Hood?
Hood: She might be...hell, 20 people are in it that haven’t been announced...could be all three of these people...or NONE of them.
Smith: Folks, the Arctic Rumble has done a lot to help shape the month of March. However, we’ve still got a big, giant mountain of uncertainty looming over us. We are only SIX days away.
Hood: SIX!
Smith: THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS is bearing down upon us...so much so, in fact, that the next time you see us...we will be there!