OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, January 21st 2019
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Our bathroom door opens releasing an exhalation of steam. With a towel wrapped around our waist, we strut into the kitchen, feeling pretty good. How does one combat a cold front? With a long, hot, steaming shower…that’s how! We pull the fridge door open and experience a slight shiver due to the artificial chill. A cool can of coconut water is the prize embedded within our eye. The fridge door shuts and a top is popped. Ahh, that tastes lovely. We pause, looking up at a picture of Tom Brady…we smile and shout “GOAT!” A droplet of water hits our bare foot. We promptly remove the towel to further dry our damp, shaggy hair. We catch our reflection in a mirror and spot a pair of VARGAS boxers over our nether region. This promptly reminds us – MASSACRE! We hustle into the living room and flip the TV on. College football music blares – d’oh! We hadn’t switched the television back to HDMI1! For a split second we contemplate completing one more recruiting cycle during our NCAA Football 2003 franchise mode…but, ah, fuck it. We simply cannot. The go home show to Throwback starts in less than one minute. HDMI1 it is! We switch over to find the OCW logo. We crash into the couch and lean back, instinctively rubbing our belly with the towel. The MASSACRE logo fires up before fading away into a sold out OCW Arena!! The fans are going wild!! The camera cuts to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre!! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always is Hood!
Hood: PATRIOTS BABY!
Smith: Poor Chiefs
Hood: Yea, you look like an anti-patriots bitch. Shying away in the face of greatness…SUCK IT SMITH
Smith: Have you ever visited Boston?
Hood: I’m sure OCW’s run a show or two in Boston before
Smith: Yea, you’re probably right…anyway, we are coming to you LIVE from the OCW Arena here in Key West! This is the Go Home episode of Massacre as we get set to go back in time for Throwback!
Hood: And the ascension of KING INFINITY!
Smith: King Infinity will, indeed, face Vincent Langston with an OCW Title shot on the line.
Hood: Some fresh blood getting into that main event scene, Smith
Smith: Yep, 2019 is off to a hot start. I was told that it's official. We’ll see Mack O’Connor defend his title against Ed Houston
Hood: Ed loses and gets another title shot – CLASSIC OCW BABY
Smith: The reformed Bester Freund will defend his Craze Championship against Andrea Hernandez.
Hood: I forgot what she looked like.
Smith: We will witness four tag team matches featuring eight teams all vying to capture the eye of Jeff Jones
Hood: Oh so you’re just going to skate right over the epic Maurako and Cyanide team?
Smith: Of course not! That could, potentially be the greatest tag team in OCW history
Hood: Second…right behind Biff and Ehud…which is pretty unfortunate for Mario and Silver
Smith: Mario and Silver, eh? You on a first name basis with those two?
Hood: Always
Smith: And…the marquee match of the evening…the apparently unbeatable OCW Champion Matt Meyhu will attempt to begin 2019 like he finished 2018…as the OCW Champion. Standing in his way is another OCW legend, Paul Paras
Hood: And, unlike the previous legend Meyhu demolished, Paras fucking earned this shot
Smith: Indeed he did…Paul Paras had to survive 31 other competitors to receive the chance to dethrone Matt Meyhu. This match, folks, will undoubtedly go down as arguably the greatest OCW Championship match in company history
Hood: Stop hyping! The people are going to think the match is tonight!
Smith: My bad…all those matches take place one week from today at Club Space located in Miami, Florida. Tonight, however, we’ll see some in-ring action featuring the talents of rising and rebounding stars as well as angles to further get you guys hyped for next week’s show.
Hood: Let’s get this shit going!
~We cut to a scene from earlier in the week. It’s outside in very windy weather. General Manager Zybala stands behind a podium with a giant plot of land behind him. Several temporary tents have been erected on the land. They seem to contain Hall of Fame memorabilia for the attendants to peruse once the ceremony has concluded. He’s surrounded, on both sides, by OCW Hall of Famers. D Double D is in attendance…we spot Lurrr…Cheasy M is seated with a “representing Silverfreak” sign around his neck. We get a shot of Curt Canon. Special K is also there…~
Voice: HEY! HE DOESN’T BELONG!
~A voice cries out upon seeing Special K. OCW officials rush up and drag the second worst OCW Champion in company history away from the scene. His empty seat is quickly taken by Pete ‘Pornstar’ Parker. Mark Kelley is also there, a few seats over. Parker simply traded up to be closer to the podium…or closer to Alice Knight. Knowing Parker it’s probably the latter. Dean is spotted looking over at an empty seat labeled ‘Allen’. He’s chuckling. Grenier and Vargas are seated next to each other talking about how they are going to destroy CJ and Canon at Throwback. And, ya know what, what the hell…we’ll throw Mack into the scene as well. Finally, Zybala steps up and begins speaking~
Mike Zybala; Thank you all for attending this exciting event. Online Championship Wrestling was created in 1999 by one of today’s attendees, Dean. Shortly after it’s creation the OCW Hall of Fame received its first inductee – Lurrr.
~Lurrr says, “Damn Straight.” He gets a strong ovation from the nostalgic crowd in attendance~
Mike Zybala: For nearly twenty years OCW has added on to the Hall of Fame with some of the greatest names in professional wrestling history. Yet, there has never been an actual building to house the likeness of these names…images of the great achievements attained by these names…no location for fans to come and pay their respects to the greats of OCW.
~The crowd nods and says things like “Yea, that’s right!” “Weak ass spending!”~
Mike Zybala: Money has been spent liberally on personal getaways for upper management. Checks have been written to keep Coke in the OCW Arena when Pepsi would be a decent and much cheaper alternative. Yet, for some reason, an item as important as this has been pushed to the back of the line. When I became GM I decided to go through proposed ventures that had been collecting dust. A physical Hall of Fame building was one of those ventures.
~Zybala turns around, looking at the recently purchased plot of land in the heart of Las Vegas~
Mike Zybala: Fresh off the induction of Matt Meyhu and the culmination of arguably the greatest year in company history I decided the time has never been better to build a shrine dedicated to OCW’s past. I went back and reviewed the tape of OCW’s first PPV – FrostBite. It took place at the MGM Grand in Last Vegas, Nevada. Who doesn’t like Vegas, am I right?
~Everyone cheers…well, aside from one man who seems rather down on his luck. He pulls out a pistol and brings it to his head. People scream! Former OCW wrestler B-Minus reaches over and rips the gun from the man’s hand, saving his ruined life~
Mike Zybala: Thank you, B-Minus. So, today we will celebrate the ground breaking of OCW’s much needed, long awaited physical Hall of Fame building! We will hear from a number of Hall of Famers throughout the event culminating in former President Dean spiking the earth with that inaugural shovel dive.
~The crowd claps and whistles. They try to keep things more civil than, say, a weekly wrestling crowd. However, a quick sighting of former OCW competitor El Presidente in the audience tells us this is a wrestling crowd through and through. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: It was a tremendous event folks and throughout the evening we will be bringing you footage from the ground breaking ceremony
Hood: It was awesome to see so many former wrestlers! It was unfortunate that Josh Allen couldn’t make it
Smith: Yea, people were saying he was given the wrong city
Hood: Hmm
Smith: Anyway, we all hope Allen is doing well in his retirement! Now, it’s time to move to the evening’s current roster competing inside an OCW ring!
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Veronica Taylor (1-1) vs. Xander Krane (0-1)
~It’s time for another weekly edition of Monday Night Massacre! The fans are eager and willing. They can’t wait to see how tonight shapes up in lieu of the impending PPV extravaganza known fondly as THROWBACK. The fans are buzzing, they are chatting…they are anxiously awaiting the signature CLEARING OF THE THROAT. And so it happens! Belvedere clears his throat and they go wild~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our opening match of the evening! This match is a singles match and it is scheduled for one fall…currently in the ring…Xander Krane.
~Krane scowls as the crowd boos him…not because they hate him but because they don’t respect him~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~Turn my Swag on by Keri Hilison hits over the pa system as the lights begin to flash all over the arena, as the fans give a loud ovation of booing. As, a makeshift runway appears, and soon a red carpet is rolled on top of it. As, out from the back steps Veronica Taylor with outstretched arms as the fans boo her, before grabbing her mirror and blowing herself a kiss. After, a few moments she begins to do a model like strut on the red carpet runway as a few photographers appear to take her photos, as she poses arrogantly. She, then takes a look around her grabbing her perfume from Veronica's Secret and sprays it around to get rid of the "stench" in the arena~
~Veronica then stands at the end of the entrance ramp, doing some more poses. Before, raising her arms in the air as the fans fill the air with more boos. Before, she mouths to the camera "So damn first class baby", before blowing a kiss to the camera. As, she then moves to the ring apron, yelling at the referee to lower the ropes for her, which he does as Veronica enters under the bottom rope. As, she then stands in the center of the ring raising her arms in the air, before lowering them slowly. Then, she grabs out her perfume and sprays it all around killing the stench in the ring. As, Veronica then takes off her diamond necklace and hangs it on the corner, as she grabs her compact mirror and makes sure her makeup is done flawlessly. As she fluffs her hair, and blows herself a kiss~
Belvedere: From Beverly Hills, California…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 122lbs…Veronica Taylor!!
Smith: Veronica Taylor returning to the ring tonight after a tough loss last week against Kitty Petrova
Hood: Yea she needs to bounce back here tonight
Smith: Same could be said of Xander Krane
Hood: I guess although Taylor has at least shown signs of life whereas Krane has looked, well, shitty
~Belvedere exits the ring and the bell sounds~
Smith: And here we go…our opening match of the evening!
Hood: If Taylor can’t win this…I’d say she’s in serious trouble
Smith: Indeed
~Krane scoffs at the notion of Taylor posing any sort of threat to his manly size! He marches toward Veronica, who finally turns and faces him after placing her mirror on the mat, in her corner. She spots Krane coming her way and waits, patiently~
Smith: I hope Krane knows what he’s getting himself into
Hood: I doubt it
~Krane reaches out to grab Taylor. She snares his hand and begins to manipulate his fingers!! Xander’s confidence abandons him quicker than a millennial running from a physical altercation. Taylor yanks his fingers apart and we hear a loud SNAP! Xander falls to the mat, crying out, holding his hand in pain~
Smith: Yikes
Hood: Let’s hope Xander masturbated earlier today
Smith: What?!
Hood: Or, well, he could be one of those weird ambidextrous masturbators
Smith: Let’s end this line of conversation, now
~Taylor grabs Xander by the face in an almost affectionate manner. She coaxes him to his feet. Xander’s face is still riddled with pain. But, he’s eager that maybe something nice is about to happen. Taylor swiftly boots him in the gut and drops him with Uggo Remover (Implant DDT)!!!~
Smith: This simply is not Xander’s night
Hood: Night? I’d say this isn’t Xander’s year
Smith: Accurate
~Krane tries to get to his feet, surprisingly. What isn’t surprising is that Taylor manipulates the big man once again, yanking him to his feet before dropping him with Rodeo Drive Facial (Sitout Facebuster)!!! We see a bit of blood dripping from the bottom of Xander’s lip. He’s struggling to get up~
Smith: And here it comes…Veronica Taylor is about to end Xander’s night with Beauty Improvement Pass!
Hood: Adios, Comrade Krane
~Taylor sprints forward, leaps into the air and SLAMS Krane’s face into the mat with Beauty Improvement Pass (Curb Stomp)!! Krane is out. She rolls him over and makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…VERONICA TAYLOR!!!!!
Smith: A good win for Veronica Taylor…one she really needed after last week
Hood: Yep…when a wrestler loses their first match in OCW it can go one of two ways. They can either bounce back, improve and show that they are here to stay…or they can flake out like a little bitch
Smith: And we are happy to announce that Taylor did not waver in the face of adversity. She fought back and dismantled Xander Krane. Hopefully big things are in the future for Miss Taylor.
Hood: If she keeps fighting, I’m sure they will be
~We cut back stage to the office of Mike Zybala. The General Manager is looking at the camera and ready to waste none of your precious time with idle chit chat. But why are we focusing on him instead of going to the next match? Well, if you shut your cake hole for a second, Susan, we can find out. You gonna be quiet? Good. Let's listen~
Zybala: Hello everyone. Hope you all enjoyed the opening which featured a tremendous event from Las Vegas. We will continue to air more from the Hall of Fame groundbreaking as the night rolls on. However, I have some items that require addressing. With Throwback just around the corner, I figured I would tell you all what to look forward to in terms of match stipulations. Now, not all of the matches will be ones with stipulations. I think that would take away some of the luster.
First, the tag matches. Assuming Maurako/Cyanide and Bifford/Ehud is a go, that match will be a standard tag match. I simply couldn’t figure out a stipulation that would fit Bifford’s size and Ehud’s…experience. However, as for the other two tag matches. PerZag and his partner will face Alice Knight and Roach in a Scaffold Match! It won’t be any Scaffold match, though. The competitors will start in the ring and be forced to climb the Scaffold before they can throw anyone off. The first team to throw both members of the opposing team off the Scaffold wins.
And, as for CJ and Canon versus Grenier, Vargas. One of my favorite movies from the 80s is Fast Times at Ridgemont High. For those of you familiar with the film then you are familiar with Sean Penn’s iconic performance as Spicoli! Spicoli loved his marijuana. So, these two teams will compete in the first ever Fast Times at Ridgemont High match! Both teams will be given a certain amount of marijuana. In order to be eligible to win the match, a team must finish their entire stash of weed.
~The crowd pops for this match because they are heathens~
Mike Zybala: Now, as for the Craze Championship…I had to really dig deep. I like the name Craze…it eludes to all sorts of wild stipulations. One of my most vivid memories from the 80s is the toys. The toys were awesome! So, I decided to make the Craze Championship a Toy Chest of Horrors Match!! A chest filled with toys from the 80s will be placed into each corner. One of the chests will hold the OCW Craze Championship. The first competitor to find the Craze Championship and attain possession of it inside the ring will win!
~The crowd pops~
Mike Zybala: When talking about the Paradigm Championship we are talking about wrestling in its purest form. So, as much as I’d like to get all wacky with this stipulation, integrity would not allow me to do so. I went back and re-watched some old 80’s matches and I discovered the perfect stipulation to discover the rightful owner of the Paradigm Title. Mack O’Connor and Ed Houston will compete in a 2/3 falls match! The first competitor to pick up two falls will walk away with the OCW Paradigm Championship.
~A loud ‘ED’ chant sounds throughout the arena~
Mike Zybala: Good luck, Rocket Man! Now, this brings me to the Savage Championship…which is also for an OCW Title shot. Vincent Langston and Aidan Collins have been at each other’s throats since Death March. I've been working ideas over and over for this one. I mean, it's going to be Savage rules, obviously. But it seems as though we need more. So, I'm going to hold off and do some more thinking...I will reach a decision before the night is out.
~The crowd seems intrigued...they are hopeful for something ultra violent…what can I say, OCW fans dig violence~
Mike Zybala: And that brings us to the main event. Matt Meyhu’s quest to remain atop the OCW mountain. Paul Paras’ quest to join the elite class of wrestler to have won the OCW Title on two separate occasions while ALSO dethroning the most dominant champion in OCW history. Again, much like the Paradigm Title…I felt this match was too important to have any sort of wild, gimmick attached to it. Therefore, this match will be a standard wrestling match inside a standard wrestling ring where the absolute best wrestler will prevail and walk out of Throwback as the OCW Champion
~The crowd goes wild~
Mike Zybala: And there you have it! Some spice added to the recipe that is OCW Throwback! Now, enjoy the rest of Massacre and we’ll see all you crazy psychos in Miami at Club Space one week from today!
Smith: Wow! Those are some interesting stipulations!
Hood: You’re telling me…that Fast Times at Ridgemont High clearly give Grenier and Vargas an advantage
Smith: It would seem so. We also have a Scaffold match…which means PerZag desperately needs to attain a partner by the end of the show. If not, then he’ll have to compete in that match solo.
Hood: He’s holding out hope that Lurrr will say yes. I’m sorry to say if Lurrr hasn’t agreed by now then the answer is probably ‘fuck off’.
Smith: Mack and Ed in a two out of three falls match!
Hood: Sounds like some weak ass booking to me! Zybala is clearly favoring the kid in that one
Smith: I’m honestly not sure what to say about that Craze Title stipulation
Hood: Yeaaaa…we’ll just have to wait and see how that one plays out
Smith: I wonder what Zybala will concoct for the Savage Championship
Hood: Doesn't matter, King Infinity is going to fuck that cry baby legend up!
Smith: And, in classic OCW fashion, the OCW Title will be conducted under standard wrestling rules. It’s the most honest way to ensure the best wrestler emerges with the top prize in the company
Hood: Yea, I can’t argue that. No sense is goofing the belt all to hell with some strange ass stipulation. Keep those with the secondary…hell, the tertiary titles!
Smith: If those even exist.
~We sit outside of Mack O'Connor's dressing room. After a moment, Mack steps out and begins walking down the hallway, not being bothered by the camera man. AKB suddenly steps into frame, walking alongside Mack with a microphone in his face~
AKB: Mack, a quick word?
Mack: Fuck...
~Mack slips a flask out, taking a quick swig of whiskey. AKB begins his line of questioning as they continue to walk~
AKB: You've been silent since your attack on Ed Houston at last week's Monday Massacre.
Mack: Yep.
AKB: Care to enlighten us on your motives?
Mack: No.
AKB: It's just... You've spoken highly of Ed Houston in the past, so it comes as a bit of a shock that you'd ambush him out of no where.
Mack: Okay.
AKB: Also, there's been rumors circulating that Zybala might consider you to fill in as commissioner due to Welsh's absence. Are you interested in taking on the role?
~Mack opens his mouth, but he stays quiet as he simply smiles at the thought before taking another shot of whiskey~
Mack: No comment.
AKB: Being commissioner would be a new challenge for you. Do you think you'd be willing to take on those responsibilities?
~Mack smiles, gives a playful shrug, then keeps walking~
AKB: As far as your match with Houston...
~AKB suddenly runs into a support beam, as Mack and the camera man keep walking. Mack doesn't flinch or look back at AKB. Instead he smiles, lights up a cigarette, and keeps walking~
Smith: The laconic Mack O'Connor
Hood: AKB really needs Who'Re to get her backstage game back
Smith: The beam never loses
Hood: Nope
Smith: Mack O'Connor seems very macky heading into his title defense against Ed Houston. Say what you will about the Paradigm Champion's demeanor...but he is without a doubt one of the best in OCW history
Hood: Yep, come Throwback he'll be ready
Smith: Indeed...well it's time for our second match this evening! Ariel Shadows made a great impression back at Death March in what was thought to have been a one-off appearance. Fortunately for OCW she has decided to stick around! Her in ring debut is next!
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Singles Match
Ariel Shadows (2-1) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
Smith: And it look like Depth is already in the ring.
Hood: What the shit!? I didnt even see him come down to the ring.
Smith: Neither did I partner. Maybe he was there the whole time?
Hood: Or maybe he was never there to begin with...
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring…from Hollywood, California…John E Depth!
~Depth does a ‘filming’ motion with his hand while eyeing a few of the more attractive (legal aged) members of the audience. The recoil in disgust. Depth laughs as though they are playing around~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“Jan Brady” by Lunachicks begins to play! The fans stand and give a stronger than usual response to the OCW newcomer, but wrestling veteran – Ariel Shadows. Ariel makes her way to the ring with a look on her face that says, “Here we go again.” She hustles up the steps and enters into the ring, keeping a close eye on Depth~
Belvedere: From Anchorage, Alaska…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 141lbs…Ariel Shadows!!!
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Hood: Oh goody, another woman to disgrace the ring.
Smith: Sexiest attitude aside from my partner, Ariel had a great showing at Death March, and she is looking to make an impact hear on massacre tonight.
~Scruff checks both competitors and signals for the bell, starting the match. Shadows and Depth stare each other down and look like they are about to lock up, but suddenly Depth’s attention is drawn to outside of the ring. Depth walks past Shadows and exits the ring. He then walks towards the audience~
Smith: What the hell is he doing?
Hood: Obviously, he has spotted someone who he wants to sign up for his next motion picture.
Smith: Gross.
Hood: Don't be such a prude. I wonder what lucky lady he has his eyes on.
~The camera follows Depth, who is talking to an audience member, but it’s no woman, that's a man baby. But not just any man. This man has golden blonde hair, bright hazel eyes, and a youthful looking face that only Botox can achieve. He's not just any man, he's All That Man! Its The Shadow Dancer!!!! Depth looks like he is trying to sign him to an exclusive contract when an angry looking Ariel walks up behind the porn director. She grabs Depth by the back of the neck, pulls him away from T.S.D. and throws Depth into the ring post. Depth slams head first into the metal post with a sickening thud. The fans cheer because who honestly likes the guy? Shadows the rolls Depth into the ring and gets in right after~
Hood: What a rude bitch! Depth was about to make the deal of the century with The Shadow Dancer!
Smith: I think Shadows was feeling disrespected by Depth’s antics
Hood: Oh so you think she was jealous that Depth wanted to sign the Shadow Dancer instead of Ariel?
Smith: That’s not what I was saying! Ariel is a competitor…she’s here to compete! She isn’t going to stand around and put up with b-level porn directors attempting to lure unsuspecting fans into their loathsome line of work
~Shadow stalks Depth as he slowly makes his way to his feet. Ariel hoists Depth into the hair, showing tremendous strength. She drops Depth down into a Hangman’s Neckbreaker!!! Depths’ body goes limp! The crowd pops for the impressive feat of strength~
Smith: Wa-hoa!! Look at her go!
Hood: Geezus…she straight picked up him
Smith: Yep…you want to talk anymore trash?
Hood: I will not be bullied into silence! If I refrain from offering any witty barbs it’s simply because I’m saving them for the next time we see Alice Knight
Smith: Yea, right
~Depth slowly reaches his feet…more out that awake. Shadows smiles, hoping he’d get to his feet, placing himself in prime position. She jumps up and DESTROYS Depth’s face with a Spinning Roundhouse Kick (The Kicker)!!! Depth collapses to the mat like a pile of disconnected legos. Shadows makes the cover…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~Scruff calls for the bell as Shadows gets up off of Depth. She celebrates for a bit as the fans cheer her~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….ARIEL SHADOWS!!!!!
Smith: An impressive win for Ariel Shadows and a decisive loss for Depth. He's gonna have to try harder if he wants to win the Mike Roth Memorial Tournament.
Hood: That's wishful thinking. You'd have better luck being selected to star in one of his films.
Smith: Yuck. Dominating performance for Shadows. She’s got the look and talent of a star, Hood.
Hood: Yea man she’s good, I’ll give her that. But a lot of fuckers around here are good.
Smith: Indeed…it’s going to boil down to work ethic and determination. Shadows has all the talent in the world. It will be very exciting to see how her career evolves here in OCW
~ The show cuts backstage where we see Roach sitting in a empty office smoking on a cigarette. He sits next to an empty chair. He waits impatiently as Cap Slock and Alice Knight both enter the room together.~
Alice(confused while eating an apple): Wait a minute there's no birthday party for me in here...
~Roach grunts and gives his attention to the cigarette instead of Alice.~
Alice: What is this? I can see you changed your mind about us teaming up. Telling us together is the wise choice...
~Alice pulls a fly swatter out of her hand bag which she has on her for unknown reasons.~
Cap Slock: HAVE A SEAT, ALICE!!!!
~Alice carefully and slowly sits down next to Roach, hiding her fly swatter.~
Roach: Ash tray...
Cap Slock: WHAT???
Roach: I need an ash tray...
Alice: Um, you can use my apple if you want?
~Roach shrugs as Alice hands him her chewed up apple and Roach sticks his smoke in it. Then throws the apple behind him not caring where it lands.~
Cap Slock: SUCCESS! YOU TWO ARE OFF TO A GREAT START!
~Alice applauds herself. Even to the point of using her hands to 'raise the roof'. Roach snarls at her.`
Alice: Look I got better things to do. I'm trying here, I did give him my apple. There was like 3-4 more bites left on it too.
Cap Slock: LOOK YOU TWO! YOU WILL GET ALONG! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO KILL EACH OTHER TRYING! I MEAN! UM... FOR GET THAT LAST STATEMENT!
Alice: It's not going to work Cap! He is a disgusting giant cock-a-roach who smells like cigarettes. And i'm a sweet angel of innocence and beauty... excuse me...
~Alice hawks a loogie and spits behind her before looking back at Roach and Cap Slock.~
Alice: It will never work.
Cap Slock: WE WILL SEE! YOU TWO DON'T HAVE MATCHES TONIGHT! SO, I WILL LEAVE YOU IN THIS OFFICE UNTIL THE NEAR THE END OF MASSACRE! TOGETHER! ALONE! IT BE IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS TO WORK TOGETHER!
~Cap Slock walks to the exit door and locks it on his way out. Alice rushes to the door and starts pounding on the door. Roach stands up following her stepping on and crushing the apple as he does so. They both look at each other as it cuts back to the arena.~
Smith: I just don't see how those two can co-exist as a team
Hood: They can't...this is all going to blow up in Zybala's face. Alice is going to get murdered by Roach...OR Roach will catch some strange disease by being in close proximity with Alice. Either way, one of them will likely die due to Zybala's incompetence
Smith: I just don't see that happening, Hood
Hood: Yea well your prognosticating abilities make Miss Cleo look like Nostrafuckingdamus.
Smith: If you say so...anyway, let's cut to some footage from that exciting Hall of Fame ceremony which took place earlier this week!
~The OCW feed cuts back to the ceremony for the OCW Hall of Fame. The camera pans the crowd in front of the stage; they stare at the camera and cheer the arrival of another speaker. All of a sudden the lights go out; causing the crowd to go in a fury of excitement, wondering what is to come. “Are You Ready” by Disturbed begins to play on the sound system and when the words “ARE YOU READY?” scream out the speakers, the screen on the back of the stage show three large letters: TIO.~
Smith: NO WAY!
Hood: Holy shit!
~The crowd at the HOF goes absolutely insane and a quick cut to the crowd at the OCW Arena watching the feed show them jump to their feet. A moment goes by but finally OCW Hall of Famer the Incredible One slowly walks out in business casual clothes and a sling on his left arm. A resounding “TIO” chant echoes throughout the area as TIO takes in the entire HOF building and the crowd there. He shows no emotion for the time being as he continues to look around. His new music fades out as he takes his place in front of the podium, the “TIO” chant continuing.~
Smith: I have to admit; I wasn’t sure when we’d see TIO again…
Hood: Yeah, CJ, Curt and Harrison really fucked him up big time.
Smith: …it looks like his arm is still on the mend, but he looks great besides that.
Hood: He looks great? He won’t look great until that arm is 100%.
~TIO taps the microphone with his good arm, still taking in the atmosphere, before speaking.~
TIO: …Did you all miss me?
~The crowd cheer loudly in response as TIO nods, only smirking slightly to the answer.~
TIO: This is a site to behold – a physical OCW Hall of Fame building. The other HOF I belong to doesn’t have this, so hats off to Zybala for putting this together. I am glad that people can travel to this building and look back at all the great events in OCW history; especially my history. Just before I came out here, I was watching clips of my triple threat match at the OCW classic Clash at the Coast, where I won my second OCW Central Championship.
~A mixed reaction from the crowd for the mention of that match, as at the time TIO was a ruthless man who would do anything to win.~
TIO: And watching that match made me do some thinking… because frankly, since Mike Harrison, Curt Canon… and CJ O’Donnell… put me on the shelf, I’ve had nothing but time to think. I reflected on my 2018 and came to the conclusion… it sucked. Sure, I started as OCW Champion, but I lost it to Meyhu and then proceeded to lose every single time, I didn’t win a single PPV match in 2018… I even lost to Josie Barnes. I lost my wife to cancer and my daughter left me for a scumbag named Saxon Rowe, who I hear has retired indefinitely from wrestling.
~Jeers fill the air for the mention of Rowe. TIO shakes his head as he continues.~
TIO: What happened in 2018 doesn’t matter to me anymore… and honestly, everything that has happened in my career up to this point doesn’t matter to me anymore. Reflecting on my 2018 and watching Clash at the Coast made me think of ways I’ve tried to be successful. I came into OCW as an asshole, and didn’t give a shit who I pissed off and who I started wars with – I just did me. Of course, no one liked it, and I was public enemy number one. A couple years ago when my girls came into my life I attempted to turn over a new leaf, and while you the audience cheered me on, the back mostly turned on me, and I was once again public enemy number one. For years I couldn’t please you and then for years I couldn’t please my colleagues and the people around me… well, that stops.
~TIO clears his throat, taking a sip of the provided water at the podium, as the crowd varies in their reaction.~
TIO: 2019 will be the year of TIO – I’m not going back to the days of old where I was an asshole – but I’m not mister goodie two shoes either. I am focusing on two things – my health and my career. I can’t return right now, because of this arm, but once it’s fully rehabbed, I am returning with a vengeance. I will take back my career and kick ass and become OCW Champion once again. And this time I don’t care who’s in the way… Matt Meyhu, CJ O’Donnell, Paul Paras, Ed Houston – no one will be safe. If you are in my way – you will know why I am this damn incredible.
~‘Are You Ready’ blasts again as the crowd is divided in the new attitude of TIO as he doesn’t acknowledge the crowd and leaves the stage. The feed cuts back to the announce team.~
Smith: Yes! TIO is returning to OCW!
Hood: At some point...we may not see him until JUNE
Smith: So? I'm just glad he's fighting through the issues and returning to the ring where he belongs
Hood: Are you? I don't think you'll be getting 'family man' TIO this go around...sounds more like the OLD TIO, to me
Smith: Surely not! The man evolved into a devoted husband and loving father...there's no going back once you've experienced that type of happiness.
Hood: And you would know...how?
Smith: You cut deep, Hood.
~We cut backstage where Leo the FORMER High School Intern is going over some documents. JONES steps up, with a mic in hand. Two weeks in a row with a JONES sighting? All I can say about that is…JOINES~!~
Jones: Leo! Leo! Wait up!
~Leo pauses, waiting for Jones to catch up. Jones stumbles while trying to catch up, but manages to retain his footing, find his composure and continue with the interview~
Jones: Rumor has it that the Noah Hanson tag match against the Danger Boiz has been cancelled. Care to shed any light on these rumorz?
Leo: Well when the rumors end in a ‘z’ you know there’s legitimacy. Yes, I’m afraid that match is off the table. Tytus Rost was unable to make it to Throwback but, rest assured, Mr. Rost will be returning to OCW when he’s ready.
~The crowd sounds sad~
Leo: However!
~The crowd looks up with hopeful stares~
Leo: We have added a new match to Throwback!
~The crowd leans forward with anticipation~
Leo: There will be a Triple Threat for a shot at the OCW Paradigm Championship! The three participants will be Noah Hanson and Dangerous Dan…as a make up for their match being cancelled…and Mike Harrison, who pulled off the huge upset over Bester last week at Massacre!
~The crowd goes wild! Leo nods deeming his announcement as a job well done. He pats Jones on the back and heads away feeling more and more confident with each passing Massacre post-intern status~
Jones: Wow! Well there you have it! Noah Hanson, Dangerous Dan, and Mike Harrison in a triple threat with the winner receiving an OCW Paradigm Championship match! I don’t know about you guys but I’m totes excited for that!
~We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Hood: TOTES?
Smith: Guy was a little excited, cut him some slack…he hasn’t had much to do these past…ten years
Hood: That’s probably because he says things like TOTES
Smith: If you say so…but that match is a huge announcement! Those are some massive names! A former Paradigm Champion in Dangerous Dan…a former Craze Champion in Mike Harrison and a former WWH Champion in Noah Hanson! I don’t know how this match could get any bigger
Hood: I don’t think it can…
Smith: The future is bright, Hood...getting brighter every week here in OCW! One of those bright, young stars is set to hit the ring next! Dazi Miyahita has the potential to be a major star in OCW...she won her debut match last week in decisive fashion...can she move to 2-0? Let's head to the ring to find out!
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Singles Match
Dazi Miyashita (1-0) vs. Tony the Spider (7-6)
~Tony the Spider is already in the ring. He’s laughing and eating FLAMING HOT CHEETOS. Guy is feeling extra spicy tonight! Belvedere is about to hit the mic when the OCWTron flashes on~
Smith: Huh? Why is the tron on?
Hood: You’re asking me?
Smith: I’m sorry, I forgot you pay the minimal amount of attention
Hood: Damn straight
~The tron rushes down a hallway to find Dazi Miyashita laid out! The fans in attendance are stunned. Tony leans forward, eating Cheetos and watching (much like that Colbert popcorn gif). A figure emerges, standing over the downed Dazi…it’s Veronica Taylor!~
Smith: Veronica Taylor has laid out Dazi before her match!
Hood: She’s making a statement, Smith! Hell yea!
Smith: This is terrible!
~Dazi tries to get up. She sees Veronica smiling down at her and becomes filled with rage. She reaches out, trying to snare a nearby weapon. Taylor casually kicks it away. Miyashita pushes her upper body up…Taylor jumps into the air and kicks her in the back of the head delivering a Curb Stomp (Beauty Improvement Pass) onto the unforgiving backstage surface!! The crowd inside the arena yells out in horror~
Smith: No!!! That could break her teeth, dislocate her jaw…or worse!
Hood: This is what she gets for going weaponless. In OCW, it’s always wise to bring weapons
Smith: Why, Veronica? You had a big win earlier this evening…why this?
Hood: Because she is vicious, Smith. She’s a predator in a highly competitive environment. I like it…no, scratch that…I LOVE it
~OCW officials and THE KNIFE MAN come rushing in. Veronica is forcibly shoved away from inflicting any further pain on Dazi. Taylor doesn’t fight it. She smiles, looks down at Dazi in a condescending manner before walking away. The Knife Man swings his knife in the air, slicing some loose strands of hair off of a guy’s shoulder length style. The nameless guy wants to get angry but, well, he doesn’t feel like getting into it with THE KNIFE MAN. They continue to check on Dazi as we cut to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Folks, I’m being told Dazi’s match has been cancelled. She will be unable to compete tonight.
Hood: Weak ass!
Smith: You saw what happened! There’s no way should could compete in that ring…she’s likely concussed, or worse!
Hood: Yea, well that’s not my problem. But I have to give kudos out to Veronica Taylor…she’s showed me something tonight.
Smith: She’s trying to make a name for herself…you can’t fault that…but her methods. I’m sure Dazi will have something to say about this once she gets her head cleared and regains full consciousness.
Hood: Oh yea, most definitely
~The sound of boot heels clicking against the floor is actually quite loud over the ambient backstage noise but it’s nothing compared to the sound of one of those boots colliding with the door to Zybala’s office. It slams open, crashing against the wall inside and then the owner of those noisy boots stalks inside, hands on her hips as she stares at the boss seated behind his desk. Zybala looks up to see newcomer Kitty Petrova standing before him, looking angry enough to spit nails~
Petrova: This is an outrage… a goddamn joke! You give Noah Hanson and that moron named Dangerous Dan a freebie title shot just because one wrestler couldn’t get cleared to compete at Throwback? You give Mike Harrison a shot because of his great performance against that genetic freak Bester and…
~She pauses to take a breath, still glaring at him as she leans forward, placing her palms on the desk~
Petrova: I’m undefeated since my return. Granted I’ve only had two matches, but I made people actually care about Veronica Taylor and I think that proves that I haven’t missed a step. You’ve got me sitting on the sidelines tonight. You’ve got me idle for Throwback. That, Mr. Zybala, just won’t do.
~Zybala leans back in his chair. He’s not looking to get any sexual harassment lawsuits filed against him. He contemplates Kitty’s complaint for a minute before reaching a decision~
Mike Zybala: You know what, Kitty…you have a point. 2019 is a new year with a new direction. As OCW’s new leader I’d be a fool to overlook the talented, new pool of competitors. Dazi Miyashita, Veronica Taylor, Ariel Shadows and, hell, even this Nico Gamble kid looks pretty good. But you…I think it’s fair to say you have led the charge. So, ya know what, I’ll throw you into that match making it a Fatal Four way!
~The crowd goes wild! Kitty smirks and stands upright, displaying a far less aggressive posture~
Kitty Petrova: You have made a wise choice, Mr. Zybala.
~Kitty turns and exits. Zybala hunches over his desk. He writes Kitty’s name down on his handwritten format for Throwback. He mulls the names over~
Mike Zybala: Stipulation…stipulation…stipulation…I know! How about a STEEL CAGE match!
~The crowd goes wild! Zybala writes “STEEL CAGE” above the four names and circles it. He leans back with a smile. We cut to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Wow!! Zybala just added Kitty to that match and he’s made it a four way inside a Steel Cage!
Hood: That sounds like a potential clusterfuck
Smith: Maybe…it’s going to be very tough to win, no doubt
Hood: And it isn’t exactly fitting with the ‘paradigm’ theme
Smith: True but, ya know what…it’s more spice to the recipe! I like it!
Hood: Yea yea, pander to your boy Zybala. If Welsh were around this wouldn’t be happening!
Smith: Where is Welsh, huh?
Hood: If you suggest he’s at home washing his tights then I’m out of here
Smith: I wasn’t even aware he wore tights
Hood: Ughhhh
~We cut back to the HOF groundbreaking. Dean stands at the podium…it becomes apparent that he’s been speaking for quite some time~
Dean: Yes and then we rolled into 2004 and…
~Lurrr suddenly stands up! The crowd goes wild. He walks over and pats Dean on the back~
Lurrr: Take a breather, Deano.
~Dean shrugs but goes along with it. He takes a seat and is handed a bottle of water~
Lurrr: It’s great being back here in Las Vegas! It was nearly 20 years ago in this city when I kicked Brian Velocity in his fat fucking face to become the first ever OCW Champion. Ah, memories.
~The crowd chants “ONE MORE MATCH!” Lurrr grins~
Lurrr: Yes, yes…rumors are in the air, it would seem. PerZag offered me a spot to be his tag partner at Throwback. I was flattered. However, I’m the Hall of Fame champion. I’m the first Hall of Fame inductee in OCW history. I’m the ambassador for OCW’s history. I plan on remaining here in Vegas, promoting the construction of this building.
~The crowd groans with disappointment~
Lurrr: Look, I’m not saying I’ll never return to the ring. I think I made it pretty clear to Matt Meyhu that this Hall of Fame championship will be defended at some point in the future, should he become eligible.
~Lurrr turns and looks at Meyhu. The crowd rises with excitement~
Lurrr: And guess what, big man? You’re suddenly eligible.
~Lurrr turns back around, smiling~
Lurrr: But he’s got bigger fish to fry at the moment as I’m sure you’re all aware. So I’m content with just sitting back and letting this generation of OCW stars do their thing. There is no way…no way I can picture myself appearing at Throwback.
~The crowd is disappointed. Alice, feeling the crowd needs a pick-me-up lets out a loud HOOT and flaps her arms. The crowd goes wild. Lurrr looks around like ‘what the fuck?’ and shoots a look of disdain at Alice. It’s as though he loathes her~
Lurrr: Grrr
~Alice looks at Lurrr and gives out a playful HOOT~
Lurrr: Ya know what…I…blah!
~Lurrr slams his fist into the podium and heads off stage in a fury. Dean looks around and starts to get up. A giant hand grabs him by the shoulder, keeping him in his seat. It belongs to D Double D. DDD walks up and takes the podium~
D Double D: And now a bit of poetry from my personal stash to express how I feel about this landmark occasion. Ahem…
~We quickly cut away~
Smith: It was a fun affair, as you can all see
Hood: Nice to see Lurrr enjoys Alice about as much as I do
Smith: Yep…he had his chance to get in the ring with her but it appears as though he has declined PerZag’s offer
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: If you say so...well folks, as you're all aware Vincent Langston and Aidan Collins have been at one another's throat since Death March. It's arguably the most heated feud in the company at this point. These two will settle their issues one week from today at Throwback. Let's cut to some footage from earlier in the evening that pertains to these two men and their ongoing issues.
~We go back to the talent entrance of the OCW Arena, near the parking lot. Several jobbers and members of the staff can be seen standing around outside the lot, nervously looking in the direction of the main entrance. That's where Vincent Langston can be seen, sitting in a steel chair. He's waiting with little patience, slapping what looks to be a military tactical baton in his hand repeatedly. A car pulls up, and Langston moves to his feet. But it's only a lowly stagehand getting out, who quickly hurries in the other direction once he spots Langston. The Legend sits back down, still angrily waiting.~
Vincent Langston - Any minute now, Collins. You won't get away this time.
~The door behind Langston starts to open, and Langston turns, once again fully prepared to swing. But he stops in mid-motion when he sees the new OCW General Manager, Zybala, raising his hands for protection.~
Zybala - Damn, Vincent!
~Langston doesn't answer, instead turning back to the parking lot. All of his senses are on alert.~
Zybala - Look, Vincent, we need to talk. From what I hear, a lot of our support staff hasn't made it into the building yet. They're understandably nervous about you standing guard here.
Vincent Langston - If their name's not Aiden Collins, they have nothing to worry about.
Zybala - As someone who almost took a shot, I happen to disagree. Look, it's going to be a long wait. I just received a call that Collins' flight was delayed. He's supposed to be here tonight, but now we don't know when he's going to arrive.
~This catches Langston's attention, and he glares over at Zybala, who takes a quick step back.~
Zybala - So how about you come back to my office and we calmly wait there, while letting all these nice people get to work like they're supposed to be doing? We can talk about what's going to happen at Throwback, okay?
~Langston turns away for a moment, not looking at anything in particular. He then reaches down and grabs the chair he was sitting on, folding it up in one motion and sending it flying with one hand discus-like into a nearby car rear window!! With the car alarm going off and several staff members running for cover, Langston looks back at Zybala, still holding the tactical baton.~
Vincent Langston - He better be here. Soon.
~Langston storms off into the building, with Zybala watching him go. The general manager seems unsure whether this has made things better or worse. He looks back at the cowering staff.~
Zybala - Show's about to begin. Let's get to work, people!
~The crew comes forward, with Shootah peeking his head around the edge of the battered car. He looks at the chair sitting in the window, having landed so close to him, and looks ready to pass out. Some people give him a hand inside the building as we go to Smith and Hood.~
Smith: Yikes...Langston is not happy. Hopefully he's calmed since this footage was taped
Hood: Langston is a hero
Smith: Excuse me?
Hood: Don't get me wrong, I still hope King Infinity whips his ass. But, he prevented Shootah from stealing that car!
Smith: There is no evidence Shootah was going to steal that car
Hood: Oh please...what was he doing over there? We all know the guy can't afford anything above half a pair of roller skates. He was so trying to steal that car and drive away before his match tonight
Smith: Yea, I don't think so. I think he was merely hiding from the giant, angry man known as Vincent Langston
Hood: Well Langston can throw all the hissy fits he wants. Once King Infinity shows up Vincent Langston will be put in his place.
Smith: I don't know about that...I guess we'll have to wait and see. However, it's time for our next match this evening as the Queenslayer Legion looks to bounce back after suffering her first loss since joining OCW two weeks ago. Let's head down to ringside
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the Queenslayer Legion (2-1) vs. Shootah (0-2)
~The crowd is imbibed with the in-ring spirit of tonight’s event. They are fully aware that the evening has been set up to set up. Meaning, this isn’t a night of epic in ring encounters of match of the month candidates…this is a night to put over storylines and rising stars. So, the crowd is far from surprised when they see SHOOTAH in the ring. They eagerly await the arrival of the December Newcomer of the Month. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall…currently in the ring from Hollywood, California…Shootah!
~Shootah just sort of lowers his head. He knows the drill~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The sound of a clock counting down hits the P.A. system and there is a mixed reaction from the fans as the arena is plunged into darkness. As the clock winds down, the image of a novelty snow globe comes up on the big screen. It’s fashioned like a snow globe, except it looks as though there is a desert sandstorm going on within! Being buried by layers upon layers of sand, it seems as though a miniature Starlight is in a deep slumber..~
Belvedere: “Coming to us from AOKIGAHARA, JAPAN..”
~The desert snow globe shatters loudly as the main part of the song kicks in. The Legion inside is wide awake with purpose. Like a true ronin, the miniature Legion from the globe is up to her feet and ready for action, and she becomes full size in front of the eyes of the fans on the big screen. The fans cheer as the house lights fade back in, accompanied by neon blue searchlights emanating from the side of the ramp, and they cheer even louder as the curtains are thrown back and Starlight appears on the entrance ramp with a confident, knowing smile..~
Belvedere: “Standing at FIVE FOOT THREE INCHES tall and weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN POUNDS! REPRESENTING JAPAN”
[Violin drop]
~Legion makes her way down the ramp at the same pace as the music, reaching ringside and climbing the steps before leaping majestically over the top rope and throwing up her trademark taunt to another cheer..~
Belvedere: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE QueenSlayer, the Last Ronin Legion
Smith: Legion making her return to the ring after a tough loss at the hands of King Infinity two weeks ago
Hood: Yep…she’s in Taylor’s shoes. She’s facing adversity for the first time here in OCW. Will she rise above or sink below?
Smith: It’s Shootah so I’m certainly hoping for the former
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: Should be an easy victory for Legion…if not, well, she may as well pack up and compete elsewhere
Hood: The newcomers of the month in 2018 kinda sucked, didn’t they?
Smith: I’m not sure any of them are still around so…yea, you might be right
Hood: So Legion can either join the pity party or change the game
~Shootah timidly approaches the middle of the ring. Legion meets him. Legion leaps into the air, showing great explosiveness, hooks Shootah with her legs and drops him with a Frankensteiner!!! Shootah winds up on his knees, dazed. Legion is back on her feet, quickly and she smacks Shootah in the side of the head with a Shining Wizard!! Shootah falls over, possibly dead~
Smith: Holy smokes! What an explosive start!
Hood: I’d say she was ready
Smith: Me too
~She yanks Shootah to his feet. Somehow the B-level porn apprentice keeps from falling over. Legion measures him up and drills him in the head with Ronin’s Revenge (Claymore Kick)!!! Shootah collapses to the ground. Legion makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…THE QUEENSLAYER LEGION!!!!!
Smith: Wow that was…well, that was impressive
Hood: Newcomer of the Month for December is BACK
Smith: I know it’s only Shootah but she just crushed him
Hood: Yep, Shootah likely suffered his 451st concussion
Smith: Let’s hope not…great bounce back win for Legion. It appears as though she’s here to stay
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
~We cut to another shot of the Hall of Fame groundbreaking. It’s from a different POV. We’re far away. A car has pulled up. It’s an older limo. The back door opens and out steps EHUD. We hear the OCW fans pop when they see the old man from Moab. He’s got a pair of aviator shades on, residing under the overhanging brim of his straw hat. He’s chewing on what appears to be straw. His gaze is directed upon the Hall of Fame ceremony. His old eyes are able to located Mario and Cyanide~
Ehud of Moab: Ah, there they are. Enjoy it while you can, boys. I’m coming.
~Ehud shadow boxes for a few seconds, getting his arms ready to punch Mario and Cyanide in the face. The limo driver calls out~
Limo Driver: Hey! How about some money?
Ehud of Moab: Wait here. I won’t be long. I just have a message that needs delivering.
~Ehud begins the march toward the Hall of Fame ceremony which resides several hundred yards away. We cut back to ringside and the live feed~
Smith: Uh oh...Ehud showed up.
Hood: He did? I was there and I didn't see him
Smith: Yea, neither did I. Oh well, I guess we'll find out what happened later on tonight! Anyway, folks, it's time for our next match this evening. One week ago Ed lost a heart breaker to Vincent Langston all thanks to that jerk Mack O'Connor
Hood: Mack saving us.
Smith: The good news is that Ed will get his chance at revenge next week when he faces Mack for his Paradigm Title. Tonight, however, Houston gets a chance to rebound with a much needed win
Hood: Man, Ed's working overtime this month
Smith: Let's head down to ringside!
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Ed Houston (17-9) vs. Tony Savage (2-1)
~We’re a little beyond midway through the in-ring action. The fans are still energized. There hasn’t been much in-ring action to satisfy their craving, hence tiring them out. Plus, the stars slated for tonight’s lineup are about to come out. Belvedere clears his throat to a strong ovation~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring – Tony Savage!
~Savage works his fists, glaring up the aisle way, toward the curtain. He appears ready~
Smith: Tony Savage drew the short straw last week when he was forced to team with Tony the Spider
Hood: That can become a distant memory if he beats Ed tonight
Smith: Indeed…Ed, like Savage, is looking for a rebound victory after coming up just short in attempting to claim the Savage Championship from Vincent Langston
Hood: Probably the best match of Ed’s OCW career thus far. Too bad it ended in a loss
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The screen turns black and then slowly starts to count down from 10. Once it hits 1 the sound of a rocket taking off echoes throughout the arena. Rocket Man starts to blare as Ed Houston slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp. He stops by fans in the crowd and high fives them. Once he gets about half way down the ramp, he sprints and slides under the rope. He quickly jumps to his feet and makes his way up to the turnbuckle where he waves to the crowd~
Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs…he is the OCW LightWeight Champion…he is a former OCW Craze Champion…he is Ed Houston!!!
Smith: Houston receiving a huge ovation from this crowd…they are big fans of The Rocket Man!
Hood: Guy is over, I’ll give him that. Just can’t seem to break through that glass ceiling
Smith: He came oh so close one week ago. Tonight he faces a man with all the talent in the world…a man the company appeared ready to push right through that glass ceiling one month ago…tonight Ed has a chance to defeat the heavily pushed Tony Savage
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: And here we go! I always envisioned this match would be for a title of some kind…not a throwaway bout on a Go Home Massacre
Hood: Blame Savage…he’s the guy that keeps fumbling the fucking ball
Smith: Indeed
~Savage goes right after Houston. He throws several right and left hands. Ed ducks and weaves, dodging the potentially devastating blows. Savage is a well known boxer, after all. His hands are probably his greatest strength~
Smith: Savage trying to land a knockout blow
Hood: If he connects Ed’s going to be seeing stars…and not the kind he learned about in NASA
Smith: I…
Hood: Allow me to amend my previous statement. I made it sound like Ed learned shit while at NASA. The fact Ed was expelled from NASA shows he learned nothing…NOTHING
Smith: I think that’s a bit harsh
~Savage grows frustrated over his inability to land a solid punch. He steps back and lunges forward with a wild haymaker. Ed ducks. Savage turns around and is smacked right in the jaw with a superkick!!! Savage goes stiff, falling to the mat like a plank. Ed looks around…the crowd is on their feet! He points toward the nearest corner and the fans responds with “YES! YES!”~
Smith: The Rocket Man is ready to fly!
Hood: Well, so much for Tony Savage
Smith: Indeed
~Ed leaps onto the top buckle. He grimaces a little bit, reaching for his knee. He stands upright and looks down at the once great, famed competitor. He leaps off and performs a good looking Blastoff(Shooting Star Press)!! It’s not his best, but it will suffice. Ed makes the cover…Scruff slides in with the count as the crowd chants along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….ED HOUSTON!!!!!
Smith: Great win for Ed! Although, we did see near the end there that his knee is still less than one hundred percent
Hood: He’d better get that shit fixed before next week
Smith: Indeed…while a less than stellar knee might not have hindered him tonight…it will certainly cost him when he faces one of the greatest wrestlers in OCW history, Mack O’Connor at Throwback
~We cut back to the HOF ceremony. It’s Ehud’s POV. He’s on his way toward his targets. We aren’t sure how far he’s made it…but he still seems several hundred yards away. He’s punching the air and talking smack, getting fired up~
Ehud of Moab: You sit there all smug, boys. I’m coming. I’m gonna give you both what for!
~He throws a few right handed jabs. We hear a familiar voice~
Limo Driver: HEY! Old Man!
Ehud of Moab: Who you calling old?
~Ehud slowly turns around, glaring at the man through his aviator shades. The limo is, maybe 20 yards away~
Limo Driver: Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you closer?
Ehud of Moab: That will ruin the element of surprise. You just sit there and listen to what people call music these days. I’ll be right back.
~Ehud continues walking, grumbling about how young people have no patience these days. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Ehud of Moab, everyone
Hood: I think we’re all seeing why he never caught Grimace
Smith: He’s not the fastest person in the world. But a person doesn’t have to be fast to be successful
Hood: Now you’re starting to sound like a person in John E Depth’s line of work
Smith: Eww! Well, while Ehud was making his way toward the ceremony we had comments from other Hall of Famers. Let’s cut to some more of those!
~We cut back to the Hall of Fame groundbreaking ceremony as the classic “Earlier Today” graphic pops up in the corner of your television screen. Former OCW President Dean is back, standing at the outdoor lectern, shielding his eyes from the midday sun with his hand as the media members in attendance swarm him with questions. He reaches out his other hand to quiet them down as he introduces the next speaker.~
Dean: All right, SUCKAS! Please welcome a man who needs no introduction, but hey man, I’m already up here giving him one! He is one of only two men who can claim to be a TWO-TIME HALL OF FAMER in OCW history. He’s the former OCW Heavyweight Champion, the Sole Survivor of Death March, and the #1 Contender who will face Matt Meyhu for that Heavyweight Championship at OCW THROWBACK! Please welcome the Perfect One, the Minnesota Messiah, the Zen Master, the King of High Impact, the…
~Dean squints to read the rest of the card in his hand, showing his age.~
Dean: The…Hennepin County Headliner, the Hero of Lore, the Perfect Athlete, the…. aw, screw it, sucka, you got too many damn names. Here’s my friend and yours, “PERFECT” PAUL PARAS!!!
~The cheap, circa-1996 sound system at the construction site (Classic OCW, Baby!) blares out what could possibly be “It Doesn’t Seem to Matter” by Army of Anyone, though it could just as well be “Auld Lang Syne” for all we can tell. Paul Paras, dressed in a royal blue dress shirt, charcoal gray tie with matching dress pants, and a retro OCW leather bomber jacket, steps up from the line of OCW Hall of Famers, confidently approaching the microphone with his usual Zenlike calmness, pulling his OCW Hall of Fame plaque from out of his jacket pocket while the media takes pictures. Dean goes in for a big hug with his 2000-2001 signee, but Paul only extends a hand for a somewhat cold handshake, his dreary expression never changing. Dean laughs it off, shakes his hand, and awkwardly leaves to sit down~
~Paras takes a moment to not-so-subtly glance over to Matt Meyhu, who is seated next to Ezra Rosenberg and several OCW officials to his right. Paras slowly and deliberately reaches into his opposite pocket and pulls out his second OCW Hall of Fame plaque, watching Meyhu’s expression the entire time. Setting both plaques on the lectern for the cameras to see, Paras returns his view to the cameras, his mirrored sunglasses gleaming in the sunlight.~
Paul Paras: As I stated last week on Massacre, the OCW Hall of Fame is the home of “Perfect” Paul Paras. For almost two decades, this magnanimous piece of wrestling history was merely a figment of the mind; a pipe dream for those who use pipes to dream and a reminder that our penchant for imagination is the true testament of our perceived greatness. Today, however, imagination meets reality.
~Paras looks to either side of him, noting the Hall of Famers lining the backdrop of the dig site. He nods in their direction.~
Paul Paras: 18 years ago, The Dean first told me that I could one day see my name in the hallowed halls alongside OCW’s most prestigious athletes… and the Big Bifford. I didn’t know it at the time, but this Hall of Fame would become one of the central reasons fans, critics, writers, and fellow wrestlers the world over would get to know Paul Paras as one of the greatest to ever set foot inside the ring. That’s a huge buzz for a kid from Minnesota with no high school diploma, a severed family, eight bucks in his pocket, and an intrinsic desire to let everyone know just how much better he was than all of them. One could say this Hall of Fame was the perfect drug for 2001’s Triple P. Then a few years later, I got another call from someone in the OCW offices… it might have been The Dean, it might have been Josh Allen… it could have even been Jimmy Buffett singing Margaritaville on the line for all I remember. All I recall were the words: “Perfectly Marvelous is going into the Hall of Fame. You and Mario are the first two-time Hall of Famers. Congratulations.” The buzz, so to speak, was back.
~Paras receives polite applause from some of the other Hall of Famers. Meyhu, notably, doesn’t move a muscle and continues listening with his arms crossed over his own Hall of Fame plaque, the OCW World Title strapped around his waist.~
Paul Paras: But now, looking over there at the “Marvel” Matt Meyhu, this 2019 Minnesota Messiah has come to realize that the buzz… isn’t enough anymore. The accolades that will soon rest on this site will be a reminder of where we’ve been. But after winning the Death March Ultimate Survival match when no one, not even Marcus Welsh himself, thought I could or should, my sights became dead set, not on where I’d been, but on where I was going. I’m going to Throwback to compete for the OCW Heavyweight Championship. I’m going to make these Hall of Fame plaques mean more than they ever have. I’m going to beat the unbeatable Matt Meyhu. And…
~Paras grabs the microphone from its stand and leaves the podium, traipsing across the groundbreaking site to one of the exhibitor tents filled with OCW Hall of Fame memorabilia. He enters the tent, the cameras following him, and searches briefly among the bronze statues of OCW legends towering over him. Finally, his gaze settles upon his own image—Paul Paras, 26 years old, his old kendo stick resting over his right shoulder and the OCW World Heavyweight Championship resting on his left. Unlike last week’s Massacre, current-day Paul Paras doesn’t seem lost in his admiration of the likeness of his younger self; he glances back at it with a hint of disdain as he turns back to the cameras and pulls one in closer to get a good look at the statue and then at his features now.~
Paul Paras: I’m going to forever alter the way OCW fans, my fellow competitors, and the world remembers me. I’m going to make the sculptors do an update—a little more age, a little more wisdom, and, after Throwback, another OCW World Title belt for the other shoulder. With all due respect to Matt Meyhu—this Hall of Fame will be where people come to remember how I won your belt at Throwback. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. You, Matt, are doomed. And your title reign is history.
~The #1 contender pushes the camera out of his face as he trudges confidently back across the grounds toward his fellow Hall of Famers. We cut briefly to Meyhu and Ezra, who appear to be having a heated conversation, as the feed takes us back live to Massacre.~
Smith: Paras is focused, Hood. I think Meyhu is in trouble
Hood: Shit. Scott Syren he is not. I think you're right...Meyhu has got to bring his 'A' game to Throwback
Smith: Indeed.
~ We cut back in the locked office where Alice and Roach are quietly and awkwardly sitting next to each other watching a small black and white cathode-ray television set. In the VCR is Jacob Hotstuff's demo reel. It has just finished .~
Alice: Well that wasn't very good. I give it a THUMB DOWN!! You?
~Alice laughs as she does a thumbs down hand gesture while she nudges Roach with her elbow. Roach just stares bored with all that is happening. Alice gets up and goes near the stack of VHS tapes.~
Alice: Look... we can watch something else if you want? There is a few tapes from the slam bus and interview chair. Maybe they have your old running buddy' The Great Ones award movie he made. That be a laugh and a half.
~Alice laughs while digging through the tapes as Roach groans.~
Alice: Hey! Listen up, bud! I don't like this any more than you do. But this is the situation we're in... this is the dice we rolled. Snake Eyes, the house wins. I mean, plus, I'm the one who should be upset. You wrecked my original car years back and you gave me my, like, 35th concussion. You also worked with Hood to wreck my investment in the pet store. All I ever did was... well... beat you.
Roach: Don't remind me...
Alice: Whatever...
~Alice sits back down in her chair crossing her legs and folding her arms. Fidgeting in the chair, clearly upset. She then digs in her hand bag and begins rolling a joint. Roach shakes his head.~
Alice(licking the joint): You don't mind if I spin a doob, right? What? You the police, now?
~Alice lights it up and takes a hit she passes it to Roach who just looks at her for a moment~
Alice: I shouldn't be doing this, you know, it killed Mike , the Uber man. Poor Ube's. So, you want in on this?
~Roach lights a cigarette blowing the smoke towards Alice as she gives him a disgusting look.~
Roach: Don’t fuck with me Alice! I'm not afraid to get suspended for 60 days, I've done a lot more time than that in jail.
Alice: What you go to jail for stealing candy?
~Roach shakes his head.~
Roach: I think I made you retarded!!!!
~Alice sticks her tongue out at Roach.~
Alice: Look, we got this match with PerZag and his partner at Throwback. I can't go into details how to explain the many and many reasons that I am NOT retarded. There's SO many reasons too. Just can't get into it. But like I said, we need to work together. You're on fire lately. Everybody has their eye balls on you at the moment. So I am willing to put all the stuff you did to me, concussions, vandalism... all that behind me. If you can... or we can take this 60 Suspension. You wrestling wild beaver in the woods or whatever you crazy Canuks do and me likely spending the time probably in a hospital bed being fed regularly. Up to you...
~Alice sits down in the chair again resting her head on her hand while avoiding eye contact with Roach.~
Roach: Listen here Alice I'm going to play by the rules but if you try anything funny, I will gut you like a fish. This might be a good thing for us! I'm the hottest superstar going right now and your a well known legend. We can make one hell of a team and make a run with it in the end.
~Alice smiles at Roach nodding and gently nudges him~
Alice: "Gut me like a fish?" Hardy har har... good one Roach. But yes! Let's do it! All for one and one all for one all! However it goes...
~Alice puts her hand over Roach's hand, he quickly removes it. Alice nods. Suddenly the door unlocks as the light shines in. Roach and Alice both put up their hands blinded by the light. Alice and Roach both walk into the exit door light. They both go in different directions down the hall. Cap Slock looks at them coming out of the custodian closet with a smile. He watches them leave in approval. Adjusting his glasses, he enters the office and walks to the television set and picks up a VHS tape clearly labeled "BEST OF SLAM BUS" . He hides it in his jacket pocket as the scene cuts to ring side.~
Smith: And somehow, someway...against all odds it appears as though Roach and Alice are on the same page
Hood: I guess. But, hey, Cap Slock just confiscated that Slam Buss video!
Smith: I make it a point to avoid digging into people's personal lives
Hood: Well, me too...but that shit was caught on high definition television.
Smith: As strange as it may sound, folks. Alice and Roach have solidified their team whereas PerZag remains blowing in the wind. In fact, we've yet to hear or even SEE Australia's greatest OCW wrestler tonight. Has he given up? Is the match off?
Hood: Good question. Alice and Roach may win by default
Smith: What a disappointment that would be. Anyway, speaking of tag teams...The Danger Boiz are back in action! Here's hoping they fare better tonight than the last time we saw them. Down to ringside we go!
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The Danger Boiz vs. Tornado Alley
~The crowd is high fiving each other for some reason. We can only take this to mean that they are ready for some TAG TEAM action!!! Belvedere clears his throat to a huge ovation! Tornado Alley, making their return, are in the ring, hopping around with an abundance of energy~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring…the team of Vortex and Debris…they are….Tornado Alley!
~Vortex extends his arms and spins around the ring while Debris follows him, dropping pieces of trash along the way. An OCW medic rolls his eyes, slides into the ring, and cleans up the mess~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~The lights go out as a strobe of red and blue begin flashing across the arena~
"I was born in a thunderstorm
~Dan and Chris emerge onto the stage area staring out into the crowd~
"I wanted everything I never had
~Dan and Chris begin making their way towards the ring, embracing the fans, but keeping their emotions in check~
"I had a one way ticket to a place where all the demons go
~Dan now climbs the steps and heads up to the turnbuckle. He points to the crowd, and lip syncs "I'm still breathing..." from his theme song lyrics. Chris slides in under the bottom rope~
~Dan slowly climbs down the turnbuckle and stands in the middle of the ring, as the lights dim and a spotlight shines on him. He falls to his knees as the lyrics from his song blasts over the PA~
"I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"
~The spotlight fades out as Dan stands to his feet and meet Chris in their corner waiting on their opponents~
Smith: The Danger Boiz! Dan and Chris are looking to bounce back after a shocking loss at the hands of CJ and Canon
Hood: What do you mean ‘shocking’?
Smith: The brevity of it. CJ hit Irish Knowledge, Canon took Chris down and that was it. I think The Danger Boiz would love another shot
Hood: Well they need to beat these weak ass storm chasers if they hope to get a shot at anything in the near future
Smith: I can’t argue that
Belvedere: And their opponents…from Smithville, Tennessee…Crazy Chris, Dangerous Dan…The Danger Boiz!!!
~Belvedere exits the ring and the bell sounds~
Smith: Alright, this should be a bounce back match for Dan and Chris. They have won tag titles everywhere they’ve competed EXCEPT OCW
Hood: Yea these are the tag belts that have eluded this great team. They’ve come close, though
Smith: The tag division always seems to be thriving when the Boiz show up. In 2014 it was the team of Danny B and Amber Ryan. In 2015 it was Awe.Some. Last year we had Perfectly Marvelous and The Aptitude. This year, well, just look at the collection of talent vying for the vacant belts
Hood: You can either let the competition define you or you can define the competition. Which will it be, Danger Boiz?
~Chris begins the match against Vortex. Vortex hurries in, not wasting any time. He spins around for a tornado punch. Chris blocks it, boots him in the gut, hooks him and drops him with a Fisherman’s Suplex. Chris kips up to his feet and stomps on Vortex, keeping him down~
Smith: Crazy Chris releasing some frustration
Hood: Yea he’s had a really tough go of it. He flat out sucked at Death March and followed that up by failing to help his brother in their tag match two weeks ago
Smith: Indeed
~Chris pulls Vortex back to his feet and swiftly brings him back to the mat with a Twist of Fate!!! He pops back up and reaches over, tagging in his brother Dan. Dan steps into the ring, focused. Chris rushes over and belts Debris with a forearm!! Debris flies off the apron, crashing into the barricade. Chris heads back to his team’s corner, taking his position on the apron. Dan crouches and waits…Vortex gets to his feet and EATS a superkick from Dan!!! He flattens out on the mat. Dan heads for the corner, ascending to the top~
Smith: Now these are the Boiz that I remember!
Hood: Calm down, Smith
Smith: Sorry
~Dan leaps off and lands right on top of Vortex with The ENDD(Swanton Bomb)!!!! The ring shakes from the impact!! Dan makes the cover, Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…THE DANGER BOIZ!!!!!
Smith: A much needed win for Dan and Chris! The Danger Boiz are back to their winning ways!
Hood: Yea, too bad their match at Throwback got shit canned
Smith: Yea, but Dan will have an opportunity to reclaim that Paradigm Championship
Hood: Shit, I forgot he’s a former Paradigm Champion
Smith: Yep, he won it back in 2015…so Throwback is set to be a big night for Dan. Meanwhile, the Danger Boiz appear to be a fixture in the thriving tag division for some time to come!
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I played on my own
but I survived"
Like the love that comes with life
I wore envy and I hated it
But I survived"
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry in your pillow
But I survived"
~Back again at the Hall of Fame groundbreaking ceremony, EARLIER TODAY, it’s time for another speech. Ezra Rosenberg stands at the podium with a big smile on his face.~
Ezra Rosenberg: Ladies and gentlemen… Please, give me your undivided attention, so that you can then transfer that undivided attention to our next speaker! He really needs no introduction.
~Ezra looks over at ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu and points at him, still grinning. Meyhu doesn’t look up from his phone.~
Ezra Rosenberg: In fact, he told me not to, but I’m doing it anyway! Put your hands together for the man with only one nickname, because that’s all anyone should need. The OCW Champion! ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu!
~The low-end sound system blasts “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West. Matt Meyhu walks toward the podium. As he does, he points at the speakers and yells something to Zybala, obviously complaining about the sound quality. The pulses of static fade out as the OCW Champion takes his spot at the microphone. He straightens his tie and sunglasses before speaking.~
Matt Meyhu: Ezra Rosenberg everyone. He may not be a very good agent, and he may not follow instructions very well...
~Meyhu shrugs.~
Matt Meyhu: It’s a pleasure to be here today, to witness history. A building is being built to catalog all of my triumphs… It’s…
~Meyhu tears up a little. Hard to tell if he’s faking or not.~
Matt Meyhu: It’s a dream come true! When I joined OCW just two short years ago, I knew I’d someday stand here, among other legends of this company, and be thought of as one of the best. But come on, how couldn’t I? I was promised the world when I signed here! That’s the whole reason I’m here.
~Matt nods at a man in the crowd who looks vaguely like Marcus Welsh. The man seems confused. It becomes apparent that Meyhu never really looked at Welsh enough to remember his facial features. The Marvel, unaware, moves forward~
Matt Meyhu: Say what you will about that guy, but he recognizes greatness when he sees it!
~Ezra thinks Meyhu is talking about him and begins to blush.~
Matt Meyhu: But two years? Even I find that remarkable! I must have made quite the impression on these voters in such a short amount of time. At this rate, I may get voted in three or four times! I mean, the run I’m on right now is nothing short of historic. It would only be fitting. I have went head to head with five different hall of famers over the last few months. And every single time, I’ve had my hand raised. And at Throwback, I’ll make it six. My opponent is formidable, no doubt about that, but you can’t just walk in off the street and take down greatness. Ask Scott Syren.
~Meyhu gazes over the mix of fans, management, and fellow hall of famers. He rests one hand on the OCW Championship that is resting around his waist, as if he is protecting it. With the other, he removes his sunglasses and hangs them on his collar. His gaze continues for a moment until he locks on his opponent for Throwback, ‘Perfect’ Paul Paras.~
Matt Meyhu: Welcome back, Paul. This place wouldn’t be the same without you.
~Meyhu begins to applaud until others join in. He stops hoping the crowd will do the same. It takes them a while.~
Matt Meyhu: And after Throwback, you'll still have this place to come relive your glory days whenever you want. You see, my historic title reign isn't going to end with you. It just isn't meant to be yet. As the youngest member here, I intend to keep all of your dreams alive by keeping this record breaking run alive! Who knows, by the end of it, maybe you will all have been a part of it.
~Meyhu picks the microphone up just so he can drop it. He smirks at the volunteer he scurries over to pick it back up. Meyhu takes a few steps away from the podium and places his sunglasses back on his face. He poses for a few pictures with one fist up and the other hand pointing at his OCW Championship.~
Smith: I cannot wait for that match
Hood: Same here...we've said it before but it bears repeating that this might be the greatest OCW Title match in company history.
Smith: Syren versus Silverfreak, Paras versus Everlast, Lurrr versus Andy Murray, Maurako versus TGO, Cyanide versus Logan, Grenier versus Vargas, Mack versus PerZag, Meyhu versus TIO...we've had some great ones but, yes, this might be the greatest.
Hood: Correctamundo and...
Smith: Wait a minute, Hood...something is going on down at ringside!
~We suddenly cut to the ringside area to find Vincent Langston standing in the center of the ring with a microphone~
Langston: Enough is enough, Collins! Get your ass out here!
~The crowd stirs, excited for this confrontation, but King Infinity does not appear. Langston becomes even more frustrated~
Langston: You know, I was fed all this garbage about Collins being the New Face of OCW… You would think a guy like that would be more up to fight. I guess Aidan Collins is just a coward!
~Just as Langston finishes his insult, “Penetrating Eye” by Thee Oh Sees hits the arena speakers. Aidan Collins is here!~
Hood: Looks like the wait is over for Langston. King Infinity has arrived and he looks like he’s here to fight!
~It really does appear that Aidan has just arrived at the arena from his delayed flight. He whips off his suit jacket and throws it into the crowd as he walks down to the ring. Langston gets into a brawling stance, rage still in his eyes~
Smith: We’re in for a slobberknocker here!
~Aidan walks up the ring steps, before jumping over the top rope and charging Langston! Langston is caught off guard by how quick Aidan is and is hit with a barrage of wild haymakers that sends him stumbling back into the corner. Aidan rips his shirt off…but when he turns back, he is cracked right in the face with a vicious right hook!~
Hood: What a punch!
~Aidan, with blood starting to drip from his nose, looks to lock up with Vincent to keep himself standing, but Langston pushes him forward and hits him with a few more quick shots that almost take Collins off his feet~
Smith: Langston quickly getting control here!
~Langston launches himself forward at Collins with a running knee, but Aidan dodges and cracks Langston in the knee with a leg kick before countering with a straight forearm of his own~
Hood: Here comes security to break this thing up!
~As the OCW security crew runs out, Collins and Langston grab each other in a half clinch and throw as many shots as they can before things are broken up~
Smith: This is like Don Frye vs. Yoshihiro Takayama! They’re battering each other!
~The security crew pulls the two men apart. Aidan’s nose is bleeding even more than before, but he doesn’t seem fazed and yells out at Langston. Langston, who has blood stains on his shirt from Aidan, tries to push through the security to get back at Aidan~
Hood: Let them fight!
~Aidan uses a swim move to slip through the grasp of the security and launches himself at Langston! The two men, who are set to battle at Throwback, get in a few more shots each before security regains order and pulls the men to the opposite sides of the ring~
Zybala: Break it up! Break it up!
~GM Zybala has come out from the back and stands on the stage with a microphone~
Zybala: We can’t be having an unsanctioned brawl like this tonight. If I let this continue, there will be nothing left of you two come Throwback!
~The crowd jeers, wanting to see Langston and Collins tear each other apart~
Zybala: But here’s what I will do…
Hood: Uh oh, never a good thing when Zybala has an ‘idea’.
Zybala: You guys want have a true brawl to settle this feud? Fine! At Throwback, the whole world will find out who the tougher man is… In a Bloodsport Match!
~The crowd pops at this mention, knowing that Langston and Collins will be fighting in a very dangerous match. In the ring, Langston points out at Collins, letting him know that he only has a week before this thing really goes down. Collins seems pleased with the match announcement himself, smiling out at Langston as blood drips from his nose down his face~
Smith: You heard it straight from the General Manager, folks! Langston vs. Collins will be a Bloodsport match!
Hood: Holy shit, someone is going to get their ass Van Damme’d!
~Back at the Hall of Fame site (and the dreaded return of the “Earlier Today” graphic), the press has all gathered near a large pile of earth featuring several shovels sticking out of its surface. Behind the dirt pile, a massive banner reading “Future Site of the Online Championship Wrestling Hall of Fame” is being held at either end by Cap Slock and AKB, sharing no end of extra duties since Zybala took over. Both are fighting hard to keep the banner from blowing away in the wind. Atop the pile, former president Dean is looking like a proud papa. Next to him stands Greg, looking like he’d rather be with Welsh on vacation or, well anywhere but next to the three men to his left—OCW Commissioner Mike Zybala, OCW Champion Matt Meyhu, and #1 Contender Paul Paras, all of whom have had their issues with Welsh at one point or another. Everyone maintains a professional composure at the moment, though, as Jones motions toward the cameras to begin recording again.~
Jones: With all our speeches out of the way, it’s time for the official groundbreaking for this OCW Hall of Fame!! This event has been decades in the making, and it’s all thanks to the contributions of each of the Hall of Famers who are here today, those who couldn’t be here, our leadership, our sponsors, our…
Dean: SUCKAAA!!!! Gimme a shovel!
~Dean receives the center shovel from a startled Jones and animatedly raises it into the air and waves it around. Zybala eagerly pulls a shovel out of the dirt, followed by Greg, who makes the extra effort to pull the shovel furthest away from Zybala and Paras. Meyhu and Paras each pull a shovel at either side of Dean simultaneously, each keeping his eyes on the other. All five men raise the shovels and drive them down into the displaced earth as camera flashes capture the historic moment.~
Jones: And there you have it! The OCW Hall of Fame has officially broken ground! Look for its grand opening later this year where it will stand as a monument to OCW’s past, present, and future! Of course, the future begins next week at OCW Throwback, where the two men standing with our former president, GM, and commissioner will face off for the OCW World Heavyweight Title. Gentlemen, please step forward for our exclusive Hall of Fame main event photo op!
~Both Meyhu and Paras appear more than willing to get into the other’s face as both throw down their shovels and march down into the grass, the champion with a cocky swagger and the challenger with an aloof certainty. They face off in front of the cameras, Meyhu unstrapping the championship belt and raising it next to his face so Paras can get a good look. Paras nonchalantly pushes the belt out of his face with one hand, pushing back Meyhu in the process. The champion takes exception and begins trash talking loudly in his stoic rival’s face. Zybala runs down from the dirt mound to separate the two before anyone can come to blows. Jones nervously tries to maintain decorum.~
Jones: O…okay, Matt and Paul, let’s see the fists up so we can get a good shot.
~Paras smirks and raises his fist into the classic fight contract signing photo pose, staring at Meyhu as if to say “I’m in your head.” Meyhu angrily hands the championship belt off to Zybala, who holds it in-between the two men for the photo. The Marvel raises his fist as well as the flashes illuminate the faces of all three men.~
Jones: That’s excellent, guys. Everyone, give it up for our Throwback Main Event competitors and…HEY!!! WAIT A MINUTE!! STOP!
~Meyhu rests his fist on the jaw of Paras, trying to send a message. Paras aggressively brushes the hand away from his face. The two men maintain eye contact until Meyhu nudges Paras backwards. Paras smirks and considers retaliation, but before he can, Meyhu fires a right hand at him. It connects! Meyhu then lunges toward the number one contender, pulling him to the ground. Both men throw shots from the ground as almost everyone nearby tries to stop the madness.~
Jones: Wait for the match! SECURITY! Stop this!
~Zybala tries to pull the men apart but catches an elbow himself. He enlists more help. Greg stands back, trying to keep from getting hit in the face. The champion and contender continue to brawl as a group swarms them. They exchange punches and elbows back and forth until they are grabbed. Paras catches Meyhu with a good shot as the two men are finally separated. It takes a few men on each fighter to bring it to a stop. The champion is seeing red after that last punch.~
Jones: Unbelievable. On today of all days! This was supposed to be a happy occasion! Wait, don’t!
~Meyhu slips free of the grip and quickly picks up a shovel from the dirt. He heads straight for his opponent. Paras also manages to break free, but turns to find Meyhu right as a shovel finds his forehead! Paras falls to the ground, holding his head. Meyhu drops the shovel and stares down at Paras as he is pulled from the scene by the mob. Ezra muscles his way into the group and grabs the champion by the back of the neck. He begins whispering to him. Jones tries to salvage the moment.~
Jones: Eh hem… The Hall of Fame, ladies and gentlemen…
~Jones claps along with a few remaining spectators. The crowd, fearful that a riot could break out, has dispersed. The scene has broken down into a mild form of chaos. Jones continues to try and calm everyone down...his voice fades along with the scene.~
~We fade back into the same scene, only much later. Dean is seated on the edge of the stage with Zybala. They are splitting a six pack with the bright lights of Vegas glimmering in the background. A gust of dry, cool air blows through~
Dean: Well, that was interesting
Zybala: Classic OCW, baby
Dean: Should have known that's what would happen when you put two active Hall of Famers up next to one another.
Zybala: Yea, perhaps the photo op wasn't the greatest idea in the world. Same with giving them shovels.
Dean: Hindsight is 20/20, sucka
Zybala: Think Paras will be okay?
Dean: Oh yea...this opportunity is about 15 years in the making for that sucka. There's no way he's missing it.
~Dean pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He offers one to Zybala, who declines. Dean lights up and inhales, feeling an instant sense of relief. He exhales a cloud of smoke, leaning back. Once the smoke clears, he sees a figure approaching…very…slowly~
Dean: The fuck?
Zybala: What?
~Dean points. Zybala spots the figure~
Zybala: Hey! Who is that?!
~The figure steps into the light. It’s EHUD! He throws a few punches before addressing Dean and Zybala~
Ehud of Moab: Where’d those two cowards run off to?
Dean: Who you talkin about, sucka?
Ehud of Moab: Mario and Cyanide.
Zybala: Everyone left…hours ago.
Ehud of Moab: Word must of got out that I was coming for them. Ah well, no worry, they won’t be able to run from my fists at Throwback.
Zybala: What are you trying to say, Ehud?
Ehud of Moab: You tell those two guttersnipes that we accept their challenge.
Zybala: Alright!
Ehud of Moab: Smoking kills, son. Good day.
~Ehud turns around, throws a few punches and makes his way back to the limo. Dean looks at Zybala~
Zybala: He’s with Bifford
Dean: Ah, I should have guessed
~We cut back to the live feed~
Smith: Ehud made it
Hood: And he accepted the challenge! Hell yea, Mario and Cyanide against Biff and Ehud!
Smith: That…that may be the most uniquely exciting match in OCW history
Hood: I know Ehud is the old man but Mario may be the one suffering from the worst health
Smith: Mario has had his issues, no doubt. In fact, I received word earlier that he Mario was prevented from attending the show this evening. I’m sure we’ll receive further clarification later on in the week
Hood: Shit, think he’ll be good to go for Throwback?
Smith: Knowing Mario…yes. Well folks, it’s been a great night thus far. We’ve got one more in ring match to get to…Bester, the Craze Champion, looks to bounce back from his surprising defeat last week at the hands of Mike Harrison. He takes on another wrestler in need of a strong performance – Brianna Casablancas. That match is next!
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Non-Title Match
Bester Freund © (9-4) vs. Brianna Casablancas (3-2)
~It’s main event time! Brianna Casablancas is in the ring. This doesn’t bode well for the ‘Adjective’. The fans seem surprised to see the well known OCW star in the ring, sans entrance. Several of the degenerate gamblers within the crowd rush to place some last minute wagers on Bester. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our main event of the evening!! The following contest is a non-title singles match and it is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring…she is a former OCW Central Champion….Brianna Casablancas!!
~A mild reaction for Brianna. She nods, appreciating those who still support her. She turns her focus back on the entrance ramp~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~Arch Enemy's The Eagle Flies Alone plays and after a minute Bester slowly strolls on out from the back to a huge pop from all of his little buddies that still believe in him and everything he stands for~
When I was born the seed was sown
I will not obey, my life is my own
Battle rows, which do enslave me
Exposed lies that enrage me
~Bester crouches down at the top of the ramp and lowers his head for a second. He looks up and locks his sights on the ring. Bester nods to himself and slaps himself in the head a couple of time and takes off in a full sprint down to the ring~
I don't believe in heaven, I don't believe in hell
Never joined the herd, could not adjust well
Slave and master, it's not for me
I choose my own path, set myself free
~Bester slides in under the bottom rope and pops up, sprinting across the ring and bouncing off the ropes before coming to a stop in middle of the ring, where he points to one of his Little Buddies, one of his Shinning Stars, his Rainbow Warriors and waves to them. He just couldn't help himself~
Belvedere: From Scottsdale, Arizona…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320lbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion…Bester Freund!!
Smith: A new look…a new attitude…but, as we can see, the same, good man still resides underneath
Hood: That is terrible news
Smith: Bester has a date with Andrea Hernandez next week at Throwback. He really needs to win here tonight to gain some positive momentum heading into that match up
~Belvedere takes the Craze Title and exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: Brianna was once the best wrestler in OCW. She had a strong showing at Death March…however, she hasn’t looked great since
Hood: Nope, she was posting a bunch of blogs and demanding a tag title shot…when it didn’t happen, I think she died a little bit on the inside
Smith: Sadly, it appears as though Brianna’s second tour in OCW is going to end like her first…in disappointment
~Brianna begins to speak to Bester. She’s using some of that medical speak in her British accent. Bester doesn’t seem to accept, acknowledge, or really care about what she’s saying…so he simply sprints forward and nearly eviscerates both her kidney’s with a huge SPEAR!!! The crowd pops big for the move!! Bester pops back to his feet, fired up~
Smith: Oh my gosh!!! Brianna may have some internal bleeding after that one!
Hood: Ah, so that explains why she’s acting so bitchy
Smith: No comment
~Bester heads for the apron and stands, poised. Brianna, doubled over, reaches her feet…she slouches and stumbles around, hunched over. She finally straightens up just in time to see Bester soar through the air and blast her in the face with Wrath of Bester! (Springboard flying forearm)!!!! Brianna is down. Bester makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count as the crowd chants along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Craze Champion…BESTER FREUND!!!!!
Smith: Wow!! I’ve never seen Brianna handled like that
Hood: Bester straight whipped her ass.
Smith: I think that loss to Mike Harrison fired him up
Hood: Yep…I have to say, it’s been an impressive night. Ed, Bester, and Veronica all suffered tough, potentially career altering losses last week. They could have folded…they could have got all butt hurt…but, no…all three rebounded and kicked ass this week!
Smith: Indeed…a tremendous show of strength and determination from all three of the aforementioned competitors. Now, as far as Bester goes…the Craze Champion heads into his title defense against Andrea Hernandez with tremendous momentum
Hood: And he’ll need it…I’m not Andrea fan but she had the guy pretty much beat during their last match
Smith: Yep, it will be his toughest title defense to date
Hood: That’s not saying much…I think the only other time he’s defended the belt WAS against Andrea
Smith: You might be right
~We cut backstage to find Roach speaking with Tony the Spider. He hands Tony a box full Cheeto bags. Tony’s eyes light up…he starts to laugh. He reaches for the box only to have Roach pull it away~
Smith: What is Roach doing?
Hood: Is he paying Tony in ‘Spider Currency’?
Smith: I…I don’t know
~A door flies open. The crowd pops when they see PERZAG! Zag marches down the hallway, right past Roach and Tony. Roach stands up straight and snarls at the sight of PerZag. He looks at Tony and nods. Tony laughs, nervously. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: What was that?
Hood: I have no idea what the Tony, Roach shit was…but I did see that PerZag decided to show up
Smith: Better late than never, I suppose. He’s got a handful of minutes remaining to name a tag partner…otherwise, he’s going it alone at Throwback
~”Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor hits and the crowd rises to their feet. PerZag, the former OCW Champion, makes his way down to the ring with a stern look on his face. He walks alone. The fans continue to look toward the curtain, hopeful that a certain legend might be at his side. Sadly, nobody emerges. Zag steps into the ring and receives a mic from Belvedere~
PerZag: As you all saw last week I offered Lurrr an opportunity to be my tag team partner at Throwback. He had until tonight to get back to me. Unfortunately, I’ve heard nothing from Lurrr.
~The crowd sounds disappointed~
PerZag: I’ve been told that I have to come up with a tag team partner tonight otherwise I’ll be forced to compete by myself against Alice and Roach OR forfeit the match.
~The crowd boos~
PerZag: So, Lurrr…this is it. One last chance. I know you’re aware of the offer. If you’re out there, please, there’s no more time to waste. Please accept.
~PerZag stands in the ring, hopeful for a miracle. Seconds pass. Nothing happens. The crowd looks around…they start to feel bad for PerZag. Suddenly, a person emerges from behind the curtain. The fans turn and look…they are quickly angered when they see Tony the Spider make his way down the ramp. Tony is laughing and pulling cheeto’s out of his yellow fanny pack. PerZag’s arms drop to his side as he shakes his head, frustrated with this unexpected annoyance~
PerZag: Really?
~Tony climbs into the ring and offers his hand to PerZag~
PerZag: No offense, Tony. But I’d have better odds if I went into Throwback by myself.
~Tony laughs~
PerZag: Lurrr, if you’re not going to answer my call and if this is the best OCW can do for me…well, fuck it.
~PerZag drops the mic and moves to exit. Tony gets in his way. PerZag looks down at Tony, giving him a menacing look. Tony laughs nervously. Suddenly, a giant figure slides into the ring from behind. They clubber PerZag in the back!! PerZag stumbles into Tony, knocking him through the ropes, to the outside. PerZag turns around only to get picked up, spun around and powerbombed into the center of the ring. It’s clear who the attacker is – Roach~
Smith: Roach has just attacked PerZag from behind!
Hood: No doubt a plan concocted by Alice
Smith: Yea, right…this is all Roach’s doing!
~Roach drops to his knees and wraps his hands around PerZag’s throat! PerZag kicks his legs, coughing. His face turns red. Roach releases the choke, returns to his feet and stomps Zag in the face. The crowd boos heavily~
Smith: He’s trying to incapacitate PerZag before Throwback! He’s ruining the match!
Hood: Smart man…make next week a walk in the park.
Smith: This is deplorable!
~Suddenly, the OCWTron flashes on. The crowd pops when they see LURRR on the screen. He appears to be on a ranch somewhere in Texas. He’s got a big lump of chew in his mouth and a bud light in his hand. He spits a giant, brown wad of sticky liquid into a lump of gravel and addresses the fans~
Lurrr: I heard your offer, PerZag. Guy makes one return to special ref a match and next thing you know everyone wants him to return to the ring. I don’t know what you expect out of me, PerZag. I’m old. I’m beat up. I haven’t wrestled in years. Are you that desperate? Am I that crazy? Why in the hell would I take this match?
~Roach begins to laugh, kicking Zag in the face, keeping him down~
Lurrr: I wouldn’t…I shouldn’t. The Lurrr OCW fans have come to know would never participate in a match without something for my own, personal gain or to help a friend. This match is for a chance to be recognized as tag champion by some old fucker…uninteresting. And, well, no offense, but I barely know you, PerZag – unmoving. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for me to say yes…
~Roach drops a knee onto PerZag’s face, flattening out the former champion~
Lurrr: But, there is something I can’t shake. That feeling from Death March. Watching Matt Meyhu do what I used to do. Interacting with the new era, reminding these fans who used to run this fucking place. I have to tell you…there isn’t enough tobacco, enough beer to generate that type of excitement. So, PerZag…I don’t know you and there isn’t much in it for me but…ya know what, fuck it.
~Roach stops assaulting PerZag. His brow furrows. The lights go out. The crowd holds their breath~
Smith: What’s going on?!
Hood: Zybala forgot to pay the electric bill!
~The lights come back on and LURRR is in the OCW ring!! The fans go wild!! Roach turns around and spots the OCW legend! He tries to throw a punch but Lurrr is too quick! He drills Roach in the chin with THE WAKE UP CALL!!! Roach flips over the top rope and lands on his ass outside!! The fans are jumping up and down chanting, “LURRR!” Lurrr looks down at PerZag~
Smith: Lurrr is here!
Hood: Holy shit, did he teleport from Houston?
Smith: I think that was pre-taped, Hood
~Lurrr extends his hand. PerZag sits up and finally recognizes Lurrr. At first, he seems surprised…then he looks slightly annoyed~
Smith: I think PerZag is wondering what took Lurrr so long
Hood: He’s a showman, Smith. He had to make this dramatic…classic Lurrr!
Smith: Love him or hate him…Lurrr has always been about one person and one person only
Hood: Himself!
~Lurrr shakes his head and tells PerZag to ‘get over it so they can kick some ass’. PerZag reaches up and takes Lurrr’s hand!! Lurrr helps PerZag up and the crowd goes wild!!! Roach reaches his feet, staring into the ring. PerZag, holding his head, heads toward the ropes, yelling at Roach. Lurrr flexes for the crowd~
Smith: Lurrr and PerZag! It’s official!! They are taking on Alice Knight and Roach at Throwback!
Hood: Dude…Lurrr and PerZag could be tag team champions!
Smith: Indeed…that could happen. It’s one of the few titles in this company Lurrr has never held
Hood: Man…I so hope he kicks Alice in the fucking face
Smith: Eh, I don’t think I’d like that
~Roach turns and heads up the ramp, throwing his hands at the ring. PerZag turns back around to find Lurrr playing to the crowd. Lurrr stops and PerZag extends his hand one more time…Lurrr shakes it to a huge ovation!~
Smith: LurrrZag has been born!
Hood: Ugh
Smith: What?
Hood: That name…it’s almost as bad as Lurrrauko
Smith: I loved that name! Well folks, we're just about out of time! This time, next week we'll be in Club Space for Throwback! Be sure to tune in for the first major event of 2019!! Until then I'm Smith saying goodnight everyone!
~We get one more shot of Lurrr and PerZag in the ring as we fade to black~
LIVE! Monday, January 28th 2019
From Club Space in Miami, Florida
Paradigm Title #1 Contenders Match
OCW Craze Championship
OCW Tag Team Match
OCW Paradigm Championship
OCW Tag Team Match
OCW #1 Contenders Match for the OCW Savage Championship
OCW Tag Team Match
OCW Championship
Steel Cage Match
Dangerous Dan vs. Kitty Petrova vs. Mike Harrison vs. Noah Hanson
Toy Chest of Horrors Match
Bester (c) vs. Andrea Hernandez
Scaffold Match
Alice Knight & Roach vs. PerZag & Lurrr
2/3 Falls Match
Mack O'Connor (c) vs. Ed Houston
Fast Times at Ridgemont High Match
CJ O'Donnell & Curt Canon vs. Bob Grenier & Chad Vargas
Bloodsport Match
Vincent "The Legend" Langston (c) vs. "King Infinity" Aidan Collins
High Impact Express vs. The Big Bifford & Ehud of Moab
'The Marvel' Matt Meyhu (c) vs. "Perfect" Paul Paras