OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, July 22nd 2019
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Uggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
Smith: HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE! I’m your host, Smith and alongside me, as always is Hood.
Hood: Kind of a shitty opening.
Smith: Yes, I noticed that as well. It seems as though our narrator might be feeling…less than good.
Hood: He can keep less than good because tonight is going to be GREAT!
Smith: Indeed! The X-Factor Championship will be decided in tonight’s main event! We’ve got a lot on tap for tonight…it’s the GO HOME show for Redacted! So, sit tight…grab a Gatorade, maybe a water…
Hood: Try to refrain from puking.
Smith: And enjoy the show!
~All the lights in the arena go out momentarily as an electronic droning begins to slowly fade in. "Spoiler" by Hyper begins to play as it's arps reverberate through the arena, becoming more and more violent as the filters rise.
Hood: Hey! We don't know this song. Who's this belong to? Did OCW finally get it's super fancy graphic intro!
Smith: I've got the feeling we're about to find out!
~The song drops, as Vossler slaps aside the curtains to step out on stage. There is a pop for cheers and boo's as Vossler takes it all in at the top. He zippers down his jacket and opens it up, revealing the Savage title belt proudly displayed on his waist. He taps it as he strolls down the ramp.
Hood: Not quite the graphic intro I was hoping for but man, what a genius Welsh is! He played Zybala like a damn fiddle!
Smith: I don't even know if that was entirely his intention but the result is there. The king has been dethroned!
~A few hands are tagged at ringside as Vossler rolls into the ring to receive a pop for his appearance. He is somewhat casually dressed and wastes little time grabbing the microphone that was planted for him on the turnbuckle. The electronic music does down and eventually, so does the crowd. But not before starting a "Let's go Vossler, Vossler sucks" chant.
Vossler: Yeah, that's about what I'd expect from Key West. What's up, folks?
~A pop from the crowd, a cheap one but a pop is a pop regardless.
Vossler: Man, wouldn't you believe what I found just last week? I happened to find the perfect opportunity to get my hands on what I've been fighting for and what I've been dreaming of since returning, and even before then. The Savage title has always been something I can relate to. The title's passing has seen bloodbaths, near deathmatches just short of the mark. And that's always been exactly what I've been looking for in wrestling. Violence. Opportunity. Downright fucking brutal combat!
~The crowd begins a sheep-like chant of "Brutal combat!" clap, clap, clapclapclap, "Brutal combat!"
Smith: The new savage champion seems to be enjoying the spotlight he's receiving. He gets to address the fans before the show, what an honor!
Hood: I'm sure Welsh has granted him the opportunity.
Smith: You seem to be up his pants tonight.
Hood: No idea what you're talking about!
Vossler: Now, normally I'd talk as much shit as I can about my next opponent on the show and, y'know. Nearly bury them in the process as I've continually done like it's my modus operandi... but we'll wait with that tonight. The card's pretty interesting I feel. Jenna, the daughter of The Incredible One is finally making her debut! Taking on Jack Puffer!
~Cheers, but a slight sprinkle of boo's in the audience. Perhaps to the name of The Incredible One? Or maybe because they don't like faces?
Vossler: JAM G is taking on Logan! Fan... fantas... tic... Yeah, I'm so looking forward to a Logan match tonight. I can barely... huh... contain my excitement.
~A genuine yawn escapes Vossler's mouth as he seems to be getting tired and sleepy from the sheer idea.
Vossler: Road Dawg and Kip Young going head to head so Kip can hopefully get some momentum going. The #1 contender Crash Rodriguez taking on Roach taking on Robert Morbidus! Triple threat action, yeah!
~The crowd begins chanting for Crash Rodriguez!
Vossler: Yeah, Crash Rodriguez! What a showing last week! I'm sorry to have overshadowed your big victory, man. Keep the momentum going tonight. Moving on to Deluxxx with 3 x's taking on the lesbian dickriders, ROSE. I won't lie, ROSE has had me confused for the longest time now. Specifically Lilith. Shocking how she's married but can't seem to keep her hands off of people or can't seem to stop riding someone's dick 'till it's sore or irritated. For those among us who like having a beer whilst watching, that's your pissbreak match. So don't worry.
Hood: Vossler doesn't seem very fond of R.O.S.E!
Smith: I've seen the replies to his Twitter. I wouldn't be either.
Vossler: And finally, the main event for the X-Factor Championship! What a loaded event! Iggy Hardy, the softest hardy around, versus Skittlez, versus Tony the Spider that has nothing to do with arachnophobia, Ubertaker which... no punchline necessary. Ubertaker. And Great Scott, who surprisingly is not a Dane! And y'know what, as much as those names often scream jobber or less fortunate, I'm looking forward to it!
~The crowd begins a "X-Fac-Tor" chant in a rhythm.
Vossler: Alright, bring it down. So... now I get to the portion where I'm told to address the match from last week. But what's there really to say? Like, really? Langston gave it his fucking best and I beat him fair and square in the center of this... well, that ramp which for some reason if I look up footage, has christmas trees in the background! How ridiculous! But Langston's terrible reign is finally over and here I stand as your new Octane-- sorry. Force of habit. I stand here as your new Savage Champion!
~Cheer!~
Smith: I'm starting to think Vossler is the master of cheap pops!
Hood: Maybe! But anyone can be in this day and age. He hasn't mentioned their local sports teams yet.
Vossler: That means I get the honor of facing Logan at Redacted and while I gotta keep eyes in the back of my head, it generally means that that's my next big threat to deal with. Logan attacked me after the match and, following the injuries I sustained in the match and from the attacks after, the medical team has given me the advice to sit this week out. I don't approve but, the scars of barbed wire around my fist still ache. My back still feels fucked. So I'll take the day off with wide open arms. Hence why I'm out here now, to fulfill my obligations as newly crowned champion. Normally, I'd be allowed to walk off now since I've hyped the show and shilled what I could but... Logan.
~A slight cheer of excitement
Hood: Oh no, a roast?
Vossler: You're nothing short of a masochistic cuckold, Logan. You watch as others take your spotlight and did what you wanted to do for months now, knowing full well it was all going down, and you did nothing. Then reporters state fans saw you and your wife fighting or something along those lines in a car. Hell, there's footage on social media! I'm running out of air-time but I'll tell you this Logan. If your whole psyche is destroyed because your lax ass decided to sit back and let me do my thing, then don't blame anyone but yourself. You have me at Redacted now. And if you thought facing Langston was a tough hill to climb, I can only imagine the pure, raw fear you must be feeling right now realizing you were so close to the apex and now you've gotta change course entirely because my flag was raised proudly at the peak before you even got close! Stay the fuck out of my way, or even if your baby-making attempts fail I'll give your wife an overgrown baby to nurture in your infertile attempts' stead. Capiche?
~ A pop
Smith: Fighting words, Hood!
Vossler: Sadly, that's all I've got time for, folks. Thanks for your support, and enjoy the show!
~Vossler's demeanor changes very quickly into a much more crowd-friendly variant as he turns around and heads back up the ramp as his theme song blasts.
Hood: What do you make of this?
Smith: Vossler isn't afraid of Logan but is entirely aware of the fact that Langston might not be too far behind!
Hood: I don't think Welsh could bail him out if he has to face the wrath of both Langston and Logan. That'd be nuts.
Smith: I guess we'll find out in the future. Fighting words from our newly minted champion! But we've got a whole show to go through, including a guaranteed new champion!
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Singles Match
Jenna (0-0) vs. Jack Puffer (0-3)
~The feed cuts to the ring as Jack Puffer is already standing in the ring, ready for his match. He is walking around frantic, with a microphone in hand.~
Jack Puffer: Excuse me! If I can please have everyone’s attention before my match, I have something to say!
Hood: Jack has... something to say?
Smith: It must be important if he’s going to address it before his match.
Hood: Maybe he figured out where he lost his wrestling career.
Jack Puffer: I have some terrible news and I hate to be the one to say it – especially considering who my opponent is. I need to address it with her in the ring. So if Jenna could please come to the ring I can announce this.
~Major confusion spreads throughout the OCW Arena as the loud bass beat of “...Ready for It?” blasts out of the sound system. The crowd cheers for the return of TIO’s daughter, Jenna, for her in-ring debut. She comes out, wearing a scarlet colored wrestling two-piece, her hair down and sparkles on one side of her face. She poses for the crowd as she turns her attention to Jack Puffer, raising her arms, wondering what he wants.~
Belvedere: Please welcome to the ring, making her OCW debut, residing in Key West, Florida... JENNA!
~The crowd cheers once again as walks down the ramp, clapping the hands of fans before rolling into the ring. She is given a mic and her music dies down as Jack approaches her and puts his hand on her shoulder.~
Jenna: Watch it, Jack. #MeToo, remember.
Jack Puffer: Jenna, listen, I am very sorry about what I am about to say to you. Just know that I am doing everything in my power to help.
Jenna: Uh... what are you talking about?
Jack Puffer: Your father – OCW Hall of Famer, the Incredible One – is missing.
~Jenna’s head drops, shaking, trying not to smirk as the crowd laughs at Jack Puffer. Puffer looks at the audience, dumbfounded.~
Jack Puffer: Why do you laugh? One of the greatest wrestlers in OCW history could be in GRAVE danger and it’s up to OCW’s greatest detective, JACK PUFFER, to solve the mystery.
Jenna: Jack... Jack...
~She itches under hey eye as she winks to the audience, waving her hand for them to calm down a bit.~
Jenna: Let me, what’s the best phrase... #BlowYourMind. Yes. My father isn’t missing. In fact, I know exactly where he is.
Jack Puffer: YOU DO?! WE CAN SOLVE THE CASE---
Jenna: You bring up my father though. I want to address something myself before we go toe-to-toe. I’ve been training for half a year to get to this moment. I still have a lot to learn though. My father hasn’t trained me and I’m not using his name or his alias to help me. All you’re getting is #Jenna. I want my career on my own terms so what better time to debut with my father not even here.
Jack Puffer: BUT HE CAN BE HERE IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS! The case needs to be solved, Jenna.
~Annoyed, Jenna leans toward Jack Puffer.~
Jenna: He’s in jail, you idiot.
Jack Puffer: What? JAIL?! Not the GREAT TIO! I refuse to accept this answer – your sources are false. I will continue the search for our beloved Hall of Famer—
~Without warning, Jenna hits Puffer with a dropkick that sends him crashing hard on the mat, as Scruff calls for the bell. Puffer holds his side, shocked at the turn of events. He gets up and puts Jenna in a side headlock, showing off the size difference between the two.~
Smith: This one finally under way!
Hood: I love Jenna, don’t get me wrong... but is she fit to be in OCW? Maybe she needs to go to the little leagues and find her X Factor!
Smith: I don’t want to assume anything just yet – but Jenna is indeed on the small size and many in OCW are much larger than her.
~Jenna hits some elbows on the side of Puffer, who release the hold. Jenna goes for an irish whip but Puffer counters with a much stronger whip of his own. Jenna bounces off the ropes and slides under Puffer’s legs and the ropes. She hops back up and jumps off the top rope, grabbing Puffer’s arm and slinging him across the ring with her momentum with a springboard arm drag! The crowd cheers the athleticism of Jenna as Puffer’s back slams hard into the turnbuckle. Jenna rushes forward and hits a splash in the corner. She climbs the turnbuckle and wraps her legs around Puffer’s torso and applies pressure with a body scissors.~
Smith: That’s why I didn’t want to assume!
Hood: But this is Jack Puffer – I’ll be impressed when she can do this against an actual opponent.
Smith: Don’t count Puffer out just yet.
Hood: Oh, I always count Puffer out.
~Jenna release the hold as Puffer stumbles forward, holding his abdomen. She stands atop the turnbuckle, putting her fingers up to make the hashtag symbol and goes to fly but her legs buckle and she falls, tumbling down hard on her back on the mat!~
Hood: See! She’s a rookie!
Smith: We were all rookies once; now let’s see if she can recover.
~Puffer turns around, confused as to why Jenna is on the ground but he picks her up and starts to go for punches but Jenna ducks, running to the ropes, and when she comes back jumps and hits a crossbody, bringing him down. She pulls him slowly to the corner before climbing the turnbuckle again. She makes sure she has her bearings straight. Puffer gets to his senses and comes to a standing position but Jenna flips through the air, grabbing Puffer’s head and slamming in into the ground with a shooting star press DDT! The crowd applauds the move as Jenna goes for the cover.~
1...
2...
Smith: Puffer kicks out at the last second.
Hood: Okay, that was a pretty neat move.
Smith: Jenna is showing, even if she doesn’t want to, that maybe she’s a pure wrestler just like her dad.
Hood: Don’t say that to her face. She might have a hot mic for you!
~Frustrated but determined, Jenna slaps the mat so the fans can begin clapping as she waits for Puffer to get his feet. Dazed, Puffer finally climbs to his feet as Jenna bounces off the ropes and throws Puffer across the ring using her legs with a hurricanrana and his body drapes over the second rope. She rushes again and hits Puffer in the face with her “Don’t @ Me” 619 as Puffer’s body flies to the center of the ring. Jenna holds on to the ropes, does the hashtag symbol, as she springboards off the rope and hits her “#Jenna” springboard cutter! Jenna hooks Puffer’s leg for the count.~
1...
2...
3!
Smith: She did it!
Hood: IT’S PUFFER ARE YOU SURPRISED?!
Belvedere: Here is your winner... JENNA!
~Scruff raises Jenna’s hand as she smiles for her winning debut. She climbs a turnbuckle, yelling with the fans and posing as the feed transitions from the ring to backstage.~
~We head backstage as we find Mike Zybala busy in his office sorting through a bunch of paperwork ready for the upcoming Pay-Per View, Redacted~
Smith: The boss seems to be up to his eyeballs with that, I wonder what he's actually sorting through?
Hood: Hopefully your resignation notice, Smith.
Smith: What?!
Hood: Oh come on, don't take everything so seriously.
~Suddenly his office door swings open as the crazed brunette, Lilith, storms into the room in full biker chick attire. Lilith has a baseball bat over her shoulder as she slams the door behind her. She immediately swings the bat and SMASHES it into a desk lamp, causing it to break apart on impact and fly off the table~
Lilith: AM I A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU, MIKE?!!
~Again she swings the bat, this time striking a bunch of OCW memorabilia and breaking this as well. She turns her attention back onto her boss, practically snarling at him~
Lilith: I thought we were cool now… I thought we'd made up and become… well, maybe even become friends! But no, you just can't help yourself can you.
~She slams the bat down into the center of the desk, paperwork flying everywhere~
Lilith: FUCKING CAN YOU?!! Yeah I bet you had a good laugh. Had a real good fucking laugh at me. The shit that washed up fat piece of shit Bifford said about me! You loved it didn't you! DIDN'T YOU!!!!!!!
~Lilith smashes the bat down onto the table again and aggressively leans against it, anger boiling within her~
Lilith: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!
~Zybala places a hand on the baseball and holds it firm on the desk. He looks at Lilith in the eye and keeps a neutral face~
Zybala: I did have a good laugh. Just like I had a good laugh about things you have posted on the message boards. Just because I find something funny doesn't mean I consider the person a joke. Trust me, I know how serious you can be. I also know how funny you can be when you dish into people. Are you telling me that I was wrong about you? I was wrong to think that you were fun and could take a little joke about you and come back at that person with a BETTER joke?
~Zybala stares Lilith in the eye as he stands up, letting go of the bat. He backs up and calmly walks behind his chair, putting some distance between him and Lilith. His eyes go from Lilith to the bat, waiting to see how she reacts. Lilith herself looks down at the bat and then up at Mike Zybala, who was oddly calm. She sighs as she calms down~
Lilith: Okay, fine, you're right… you’re right… but GOD DAMNIT I am SICK of being disrespected in this company! SICK OF IT!!! We all saw how I beat the SHIT out of Ed Houston last week… BY MYSELF! Sarah wasn't even there… and yet SOMEHOW that's just swept under the GOD DAMN rug like it doesn't even matter! HIS MATCH IS STILL ABOVE MINE ON THE REDACTED CARD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! And I swear to GOD if Mike Best comes at me ONE MORE TIME I will stab him in the eye with a rusty fucking SCREWDRIVER!!!
~Lilith slams her fist down onto the table as she thinks about how much he'd annoyed her recently~
Lilith: How do you even TOLERATE that guy?!
~Zybala smiles gently, not wanting to work Lilith up again. He does enjoy some of the stuff in his office after all~
Zybala: Because I've been in this business since I was Eighteen. That's sixteen long years of dealing with so much shit that would make any psychiatrist quit. I've been beaten, bloodied, bruised, battered and broken. I've been nearly lynched in the middle of the ring and put into a coma fighting one of my best friends in a cage match. I've seen and done it all, and I've learned one lesson through the years. You've got to let it go. I've been called every name in the book at least two hundred times. Sure, I still get pissed, but I get over it. Welsh, Best, Vossler, whoever it is, I'm used to it. I've been there, done that, and created the shirt. At the end of the day, I realize that I truly only have to physically deal with these people one day a week. I go home, enjoy time with my wife, and come back refreshed. You get what I'm saying?
~Zybala looks at Lilith, wondering if his words have any effect on the tag champion, all the while keeping his guard up. Lilith just sits down in the chair opposite her boss, kicking her feet up onto the desk in front of her~
Lilith: It just really makes me… Urghhhhh! Like SUPER FREAKING ANGRY!!!! What do you suggest I do?! Just ignore them all?! Just ignore the idiot fans who CONTINUE to boo me despite my OBVIOUS greatness?! Someone should teach him a damn lesson! That Mike Best… he thinks he's sooooooo good! But he's not. We both KNOW he's not! He's just as fucking worthless as Mucus fucking Welsh!
~Lilith tilts her head at Zybala a little bit thinking about how terrible her old boss used to be.~
Lilith: Speaking of Mucus Welsh… what are you actually going to do about him? I'm not talking about MY issues with him anymore, I'm talking about him being a slimy piece of TRASH! You know damn well he's thinking and planning on somehow getting rid of you and taking this office back for himself!
Zybala: Firstly, you can't control the fans. The more you try to make them like you, the more they will boo the shit out of you. They don't like being told what to do. As for Markie Mark, I know he's got a few sneaky tricks up his sleeve. I've dealt with his type for years. They always overthink their plans of trying to get rid of me, and yet here I still am.
~Zybala spreads his arms wide open to emphasize the point before lowering them to his sides. He seems to relax as he continues~
Zybala: As for Best, honestly you two are generating such heat between each other that when you and him finally done square off, it's gonna be epic! The fans will love it, the gang in the back will love it, and I'm sure you two will love beating the crap out of each other. Plus, it has the makings of a big money match. Have I answered all of your questions satisfactory, dear lady?
~Lilith shrugs her shoulders as she leans forward, picks up her bat and puts it over the top of her shoulder~
Lilith: I guess, oh wait! I was supposed to talk to you about our upcoming title defense at Redacted. There is something you can help me with there. In the meantime I ummm … hey do you want me to stick around for a bit? I figure easy way to get rid of Mucus… if he comes in here… WHAM!!! Crack him in the head with the bat… then just like that he's no longer a problem of yours. I like you, Zebra, I don't want you to go. Mucus, he'd have an adorable little tantrum over me smashing up his office… but you, you just seem to understand. It's nice.
Zybala: Stuff gets broken, so I've learned not to bring anything personal that I care about. You don't need to worry about Marcus either. He may get lippy with me, but after Mayhem on the Midway, he knows not to try and get physical with me.
~Lilith cocks her head to the side, confused~
Zybala: Mayhem was the first pay-per-view that I was given full authority to book, and one of the matches I made was Marcus versus myself. Great show. I didn't beat Marcus because of HEEEAAVVVY interference, but I did win the psychological battle. After all the shit I did to him, I'm pretty sure that I gave him some form of PTSD. So you don't have to worry about him. Though if you wanna chill, I'm gonna head to the VIP box to watch the rest of the show. I just got to make a phone call real quick.
~Zybala picks up his office phone and dials a number. He puts the receiver to his ear and waits. Finally, someone answers~
Zybala: Hey Liam, it's Zybala……. I'm good, and yourself?... Good to hear. Listen, some things got busted that needs to be replaced…. I'd say about the Lilith amount…….. Great, thanks! Goodbye.
~Zybala hangs up the phone and looks at Lilith~
Zybala: Ready to go? We can discuss your tag team title defense on the way.
~Lilith nods her head overjoyed as she stands up following her boss’ lead.~
Lilith: Absolutely! I’ve never been in a VIP box, can’t wait to see what snacks and candy they’ve got in there!
~Lilith opens the office door for Zybala as the two of them head out into the corridor. We cut back to Hood and Smith at commentary~
Smith: Interesting situation
Hood: I'd say so...two psychos spending time together. Hopefully that VIP room has padded walls.
~A commercial advocating a special toll free hotline for domestic abusive relationships fades and we return live to Massacre with Logan and Crystal Sharpe in the ring~
Smith: How fitting.
~Logan, seemingly frustrated, if he isn't grinning he's glaring - brings a microphone up to his lush red beautiful perfect lips~
Logan: That pretty much sums it all up doesn't it. I have done nothing but win week in and week out since I entered OCW, given you people golden laughs, and then when I finally get my big break at NSFW and further prove my worthiness… I once again get shoved into the background and have my spotlight ripped from me.
~The audience begins a Vossler chant. Logan shakes his head~
Logan: Yes, exactly. That guy. Your brand new Savage champion… instead of myself properly earning a shot and venturing into a cat and mouse game of jokes, excitement, and perhaps terror with Vincent for the month leading into our match… no. Didn't happen. Our throats were too busy getting Vossler shoved down them week in and week out. A guy that before then didn't even have a single match THIS YEAR.
~Sharpe mockingly boos.~
Logan: And my entrance to the ring tonight? Cut for a commercial break! I was supposed to be the one to dethrone Langston, not some part time joke like Vossler. You see, Vincent was MINE. Not his. I demand Vincent Langston be given back his championship status and that Vossler quits the company never to return and we remove his championship victory from the books!
Smith: He can't be serious.
Hood: Vossler stole his prom date and fucked her.
~Smith isn't able to respond to such an outrageous remark~
Logan: I'm not leaving this ring until these demands are met.
~All the lights in the arena go out momentarily as an electronic droning begins to slowly fade in. "Spoiler" by Hyper begins to play as it's arps reverberate through the arena, becoming more and more violent as the filters rise. Logan's eye grows wide.~
Smith: VOSSLER IS HERE. OUR NEW SAVAGE CHAMPION!
~Vossler immediately begins heading down the ramp, staring a hole into Logan.~
Smith: Logan looking uneasy here.
Hood: He's not one to back down from a fight, Smith.
Smith: John E. Depth ran him out of the arena before. JOHN E. DEPTH.
Hood: Nah, Logan had better things to do. Probably was getting a head start on his cardio that day.
~This however is a larger threat than anything with DEPTH, as Vossler slides into the ring, slinging the Savage championship over his shoulder and going face to face with Logan.~
Smith: You can see the hate in Logan's eye. He has some grand delusional idea that Vossler has stolen his spotlight this last month.
Hood: He did! Fucked his prom date.
Smith: What? And Vossler is returning the glare. The last thing he wants is to drop this championship so soon after defeating maybe the greatest Savage champion in OCW history.
~Crystal Sharpe tries to get in the middle of the bickering pair, but Logan simply plants a hand onto her face and shoves her away. She bounces back onto the ropes, now glaring at Logan as well, while Logan and Vossler trash talk one another. Logan raises a microphone between himself and Vossler~
Logan: I want my match with Vincent Langston back. Not you; you one off punchline -
~Vossler has heard enough and decks Logan with a right hand. Crystal gasps as she immediately gets into Vosslers face, though she doesn't have a microphone she can still be heard as she proceeds to yell at the champion~
Crystal: What the hell is your problem, Vossler?! You really don't understand why he's annoyed at you? It's so obvious even I understand it! Logan, are you okay?
~Vossler smirks. She turns around to check on her fiance. Logan is back on his feet, he pushes past Crystal and lunges into Vossler with a wild right, which Vossler blocks, coming back at Logan with hard right fists, beating him back into the ropes. Logan stumbles forward and Vossler grabs Logan - ~
Smith: BOLIDE!
~No! Crystal Sharpe jumps on Vosslers back, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him off of Logan. Vossler spins around with Crystal on his back.~
Hood: Why the hell is she in the ring? Bitch be pregnant.
~Finally Vossler slings Crystal off him and she lands on her feet. Logan dives forward at Vossler once more going for a closeline, Vossler ducks it, and Logan hits Crystal Sharpe instead! Logan turns around and Vossler grabs Logan by the hair and throws him over the top rope and onto the outside mat~
Smith: Isn't the first time Logan's hit Crystal.
Hood: Like this one, all accidents. They are a couple in a very healthy relationship.
Smith: You're more delusional than Logan!
~Logan collects himself, staggering to his feet, reaching under the bottom rope while glaring at Vossler and dragging her out of the ring. Holding Crystal Sharpe up, Logan wraps an arm under hers, back pedaling up the ramp with her. Vossler goes to exit the ring and go after Logan, but Logan keeps pointing at Crystal's stomach and shouting she's pregnant.~
Smith: Coward is using Crystal as a shield. She's probably not even pregnant.
~Vossler and Logan share glares at a distance until Logan, with Crystal, head into the back.~
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Singles Match
Logan (8-1) vs. JAM G (0-2)
~The night has been a very squashy night and the OCW faithful could give one single fuck as they are rowdy for some more action. Jam G stands in his designated corner and uses the ropes to stretch. Belvedere joins him inside of the ring and looks ready to continue his duties. He clears his throat.~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen… The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring…Jam G!
~Jam G climbs to the second turnbuckle and throws his arms in the air. He receives a decent reaction.~
Smith: Welcome back folks to Massacre and we have some more hard hitting action, headed your way.
Hood: You gotta be fucking kidding me..
Smith: What?
Hood: It's been slaughter after slaughter inside of that ring tonight and this match won't be different.
Belvedere: And his opponent…
~The slow march of a drum roll hits the speakers carrying into "Treachery" by Bleach. Logan slowly steps out onto the entrance ramp to a chorus of boos. He stands at the top of the ramp, slowing looking around at the masses. He's wearing his signature attire, with a black leather sleeveless vest over it. Crystal Sharpe comes out, standing alongside.~
Belvedere: From Chesapeake, Virginia…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 250lbs…he is the #1 Contender to the OCW Savage Championship…Logan!!!
~Logan and Crystal share a VERY passionate and longing kiss. After about a minute of tonsil hockey and more than a few disgusted fans, they begin walking down the ramp, taking their time. Logan every now and then points out to a member of the audience and talks trash to them. Crystal strides closely beside him, rubbing her still flat stomach and laughing at each insult that he spews.. Logan hits ringside, climbing the ring steps, and getting inside the ring stepping through the middle rope. Logan climbs the nearest turnbuckle, gazes around at all the fans booing at him, and he raises his arm up into the air. Crystal looks up with love in her eyes, clapping. After a moment, Logan finally steps down, taking off his vest and throwing it to the outside, and then paces the ring while the music fades~
Smith: Well there was an odd turn of events in the relationship that is Logan and Crystal Sharpe.
Hood: Those two are into some weird shit Smith.
Smith: Well there's something we can agree on..
Hood: Nah.. I got more fun out of watching them beat the shit outta each other than that hour of wasted time and darkness..
~The bell rings.. Belvedere exits.~
Smith: Are you implying that you tried to watch the Twilight/Lilith tape?
Hood: Implying? Hell I did! Three hours of my life that'll never get back..
Smith: That's really sad Hood…
Hood: Tell me about it..
~Jam G is finally done with his stretches as he moves to the center of the ring, ready to compete. Logan is still curious as to who the fuck this guy is.. He points mockingly at Jam G before meeting him in the middle. The fans boo furiously as Logan continues to berate his opponent.~
Smith: Logan seems to be unimpressed with his opponent tonight..
Hood: I'm disappointed for him.. Hey! At least he's about to become a father!
Smith: Were we watching the same promo?
Hood: No time to discuss that.. Logan just took a shot to the jaw! We might get a fight after all!
~Logan smiles, stretching his jaw line as he looks at a determined Jam G. Logan holds up a finger, telling him to wait a moment. Jam G curiously looks at Scruff who shrugged his shoulders. Logan leans through the ropes near Crystal and points to the left side of his face. She comes close and examines the damage that Jam G just inflicted.~
Smith: Is he asking for assistance from Crystal?
Hood: That's his future wife, she's supposed to attend to him at any given time.
~Crystal is done observing Logan's face and SOCKS him with a right hand so hard that it makes Jam G second guess the one he threw just moments ago. Logan's head snaps to the right from impact but quickly turns in Jam G's direction. Logan has a twisted look in his eye.. Jam G looks fairly concerned..~
Smith: What kind of sick relationship do these two have?
Hood: As long as they keep hitting each other.. I'm cool..
~Logan heads towards Jam G.. Jam G swings another right but Logan catches it and throws his arm to the side. Jam G loses his footing and staggers. Logan drops him with a legsweep. He laughs as he spins back to his feet effortlessly. Down on his ass, Jam G is upset as he pops back up to his feet.~
Smith: Jam G taking exception to how Logan is making a mockery of him.
Hood: When he's able to bring a real fight, maybe he'll be taken more seriously around here.
~In a fit of rage, Jam G charges at Logan but gets scooped up and planted with a Spinebuster! Logan goes for the cover.. Scruff slides in.~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…LOGAN!!!!
Smith: Well... that was abrupt.
Hood: Told ya Smith.. Jam G needs to hit the gym a bit harder because that was nowhere near a fight.
Smith: Nonetheless, Logan's able to pull off the easy victory here tonight.
Hood: Now if him and Sharpe could get into that S&M shit, they'd really have me hooked.
~Logan seems disgusted that Jam G wasn't able to kick out. He rises to his feet as Crystal has made her way inside and by his side. He shoves her down to the mat as soon as she's close to him. The crowd gasps in horror, he doesn't care as he snatches Jam G from the canvas and brings him vertical. Logan applies a sleeper and looks around to the jeering crowd. He smirks and in one quick motion, flips over Jam G and spikes him with THE CONNECTOR! Logan sits up near Jam G's motionless body. He laughs as Crystal crawls closer to him but he ignores her and gets back to his feet.~
Smith: Oh leave him alone!
Hood: You saying that's Brittney under the mask?
Smith: Joke's kind of dated, don't you think?
Hood: Not as dated as your face.
Smith: So mature. Lovely. Logan and Crystal continue to show their unique relationship. Logan looking strong heading into Redacted where he will challenge Vossler for the OCW Savage Championship!
~The shot changes to backstage, in the owner's private box. Zybala appears to have a few notes about the last match, typing up a few quick thoughts in his laptop. The door behind him suddenly swings open, once again slamming hard against the wall. Zybala doesn't turn to look back.~
Zybala: Hello, Commissioner. Signature entrance as always.
~Vincent Langston, the OCW Commissioner and now former OCW Savage Champion, is seething behind Zybala. The man looks barely able to control himself, having lived with the loss of his championship for a full week now.~
Vincent Langston: So do you feel like you've gotten your revenge now, Zybala? You feel like you're a big shot now, bastard?
Zybala: Whoa, hold on there. That's MISTER Bastard to you!
~Zybala finally turns to look back at Langston. While he look casual, there are subtle signs that Zybala is ready to defend himself if need be. Or at least shout to the security guards who are already appearing down the hall. Langston, without looking at them, kicks the door shut.~
Vincent Langston: You saw your chance to screw me over, you and Marcus, and you took it. I guess it's true that power corrupts.
Zybala: Think about this for a second, Vincent. How many times did you ask for a match against Vossler? How furious were you at me for not giving it to you? And now you're mad because I finally gave in? It's not my fault that Marcus' timing was off. You should talk with him about it.
Vincent Langston: Oh, I have unfinished business with him as well. But right now it's about you and me. You know what I'm here for. The PPV match? Vossler and Logan? I want in. I DESERVE to be in!
~A small cheer can be heard from the audience watching, as Langston angrily waits for Zybala's response. He is not expecting the smile that appears on the owner's face.~
Zybala: You see, Vincent? You and I can think alike.
Vincent Langston: Then.. you agree? No veto?
Zybala: Why would I veto a perfectly good idea? I've even managed to get your gear for you already.
~Zybala reaches behind him and grabs a bag that was sitting on the nearby couch. He tosses it over to Langston, who looks confused. New gear? He opens the bag and slowly pulls out the black-and-white-striped shirt that's inside, staring at it with a mixture of horror and fury.~
Zybala: Who better to be the referee for such a Savage match than the Commissioner of OCW? Am I right?
~Langston can't stop staring at the shirt. He finally looks up at Zybala, waits for a few seconds, and then drops the bag and turns, basically breaking down the door on his way out. The security guards waiting outside quickly retreat, wanting nothing to do with the Legend as he storms through their midst. Zybala steps forward and picks up the shirt.~
Zybala: What? You got what you wanted!! Geez, you give people what they want, and they're never satisfied. Being an owner sure is a thankless job.
~Zybala shakes his head, and then turns to look back out the hallway, even though Langston is no longer in sight.~
Zybala: It's not easy to find a referee shirt in your size, you know!!
~Zybala sighs, folding the shirt and putting it back into the bag. He then goes to the telephone, calling to get a replacement door for his suite.~
~As we cut backstage we see Who’re playing with her blonde locks and popping gum as Scott Stevens is pacing back and forth like a caged animal~
Who’re: Like welcome my like guest at this time or something, Scoot Steffens.
~Who’re introduces Stevens who isn’t amused~
Scott Stevens: Nice to be here Bit’chy.
~Stevens says and Who’re looks confused more than normal~
Who’re: So like, last show you lost, and Furrr challenged you or something about a Barbie Wire match.
~Stevens shakes his head after Who’re’s statement~
Scott Stevens: Yes, I did lose to Great Scott last week, but it took TWO!
~Stevens says emphatically as he holds up to fingers~
Scott Stevens: Not one, but two superkicks from Lurrr to temporarily incapacitate me…..
~Stevens says as Who’re looks confused~
Scott Stevens: That means knockout sweetie.
~Stevens says and the light bulb clicks and she gives a thumbs up.~
Scott Stevens: Great Scott beat me, but he had help because when it was just us I was choking the life slowly out of him. Lurrr wanted to embarrass me, but guess what ‘ICON…”
~Stevens says with air quotes.~
Scott Stevens: You’ve only embarrassed yourself as you said I should expect a fight from a real Texan, and your ass isn’t even in the fucking building.
~Stevens bluntly states the obvious.~
Who’re: Maybe like he had things to do?
~Who’re says and Stevens turns to her.~
Scott Stevens: Getting hair plugs put in isn’t what I call important.
Who’re: Like to me it is….
Scott Stevens: That’s you.
~Stevens says and Who’re nods.~
Scott Stevens: I’m here ready to go and Mr. Wrestling, the ICON of OCW, can’t even bother to show up. Guess the old man couldn’t get a day pass out of the retirement home I’m going to send him back to after Redacted. See you in Korea, Tex.
~Stevens says as he exits.~
|
|
|
Roach (7-8) vs. Robert Morbidus (7-8) vs. Crash Rodriguez (2-0)
Belvedere: The next match is a Triple Threat match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, standing 6 feet 5 inches and weighing in at 265 lbs, from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, here is... ROACH!!
~Lights go out then Halloween theme song begins to play then ”Reason to fight” by Disturbed hits the speakers and the light come back in as Roach makes his way out wearing Mike on his head. Roach slowly walks down the ramp. He gets to the bottom and slides into the ring under the lower rope, he stands straight up and goes face to face with the referee for a moment. He backs up and takes Mike off his head and smiling at the referee, he sets Mike on the turnbuckle and gets ready for the match.~
Hood: At one point, Roach was seen as of the future stars of OCW. Now, though, he's sitting with a losing record currently in the company.
Smith: Yes, but despite that, he's still not a jobber like Puffer or Shootah. He has shown in the past that, on any given night, Roach can take even the best wrestlers in OCW to the limit.
Hood: So will we get that tonight, or do we have the "Depth" Roach here tonight?
Belvedere: Coming to the ring next, standing at 5'11" and weighing 204 lbs, from Kansas City, Missouri, here is... "THE CROOKED MAN" CRASH RODRIGUEZ!!
~As the opening riff of "21st Century Schizoid Man" fills the arena, Crash Rodriguez, wearing a crown of barbed wire. starts to walk down the ramp. As the second verse, "Blood Rack, Barbed Wire", plays Crash holds his head and starts to squeal and shake, as if calming the pain inside his head. As he regains his composure, he removes his barbed wire crown and he enters the ring as the solo begins playing, he leans against a turnbuckle and falls to a seated position, rocking back in forth until the solo fades away.~
Hood: I have to admit, sometimes this Crash guy scares even me.
Smith: Even you?
Hood: Shut up.
Smith: Suffice to say, Rodriguez has a lot of darkness built up in him. The man truly relishes the pain of his opponents.
Hood: As long as he sticks to flowers and his fellow wrestlers and stays away from the announce table, I'm all for it.
Belvedere: And finally, entering the arena, standing 6'6" and weighing 275 lbs, billed from the Other Side of Darkness, here is "THE TRUE LIVING VAMPIRE" ROBERT MORBIDUS!!
~'The Animal' by Disturbed begins to play as the arena lights go blood red with smoke filling the ringside area - almost like fog and through the curtain steps Morbidus' manager and legal counsel, Mr. Judas. He stands there for a few seconds, looking a little perturbed, before finally motioning backwards. A few seconds go by and then Robert Morbidus steps through the curtain with a surprisingly bright smile on his face. He steps past Judas and heads down to the ring. Some fans greet him with a tip of their beer in his direction, which Morbidus returns with a nod. He stops for a second in front of a group of young kids, all of whom also have beers in their hands. The parents are probably out at concessions. Morbidus considers it, shrugs, and then walks past towards the ring. Morbidus then goes to a corner and eyes his opponents with eyes like a hawk. Judas then goes to Morbidus' corner on the outside providing last minute advice and encouragement.~
Smith: Morbidus says he's trying to turn over a new leaf, and part of that was shown by him leaving cases of beer under the seats for every fan in attendance tonight. Sadly, that appears to be the case for even our youngest fans here tonight.
Hood: Eh, it's the parents' fault. Why else would they bring kids to an OCW show?
Smith: Honestly a fair point. We will see if Morbidus' new change in attitude shows in the ring.
~The bell rings. Crash and Morbidus begin to walk towards the center of the ring, ready for the first confrontation. However, Roach looks distracted by what's outside the ring. He suddenly drops down and rolls out, heading over and talking to the fans at ringside. Both Crash and Morbidus stop, confused, but it's clear that Roach is more interested in the free beer being offered at ringside. A bottle is offered to him, with Roach looking extremely tempted. But he looks back up at "Mike" and then reluctantly shakes his head, changing his mind. The wrestler gives the bottle back and starts up, apparently having an argument with "Mike". He steps through the ropes, still turned towards the corner. But the one-sided conversation gets interrupted when Crash Rodriguez interrupts, grabbing Roach and dropping him with Twisted Memories!!! Roach is flat on his back, as Crash goes to make the cover... 1... 2... NO! Morbidus breaks it up!!~
Smith: We almost had a record time for a Triple Threat match there!
Hood: Roach's preoccupation with wanting a drink nearly cost him this one, and he's certainly not in the best of shape right now!
~Morbidus picks up Crash, bodily whipping him to the other side and sending him hard into the turnbuckle. As Rodriguez hangs there, shaking it off, Morbidus goes to Roach, helping the wrestler up. It appears he's trying to show sympathy, but this is almost a foreign concept to Morbidus, as his 'brushing off' of Roach shows. Judas is shouting at Morbidus to finish him instead, but Morbidus is checking on Roach, making sure he's conscious. Roach nods, still dazed, so Morbidus smiles... showing the fangs. Roach's eyes widen, but he doesn't react in time, as Morbidus picks Roach up and lands the Vampire's Redemption!! Morbidus drops for the pin... 1... 2... and this time it's Crash making the save! He stomps away on Morbidus repeatedly, basically driving him away from Roach.~
Hood: Wow, Morbidus almost killed Roach with kindness there!
Smith: At least he didn't bite him, I thought that's what Morbidus was going to do.
Hood: He's trying to win over the soft-hearted geeks in the audience, Smith, I don't think he'd do that. At least, not openly.
~Roach slowly rolls to the side, falling out of the ring off the apron. Meanwhile, Crash is now on top of Morbidus from behind, raking away at his eyes! Morbidus, blinded, tries to throw Crash off and get up, but this just allows Crash to beak up and chop the leg, sending Morbidus back to the mat. Crash continues to focus on the legs, stomping away on them, to try and keep the larger wrestler on the canvas. He then applies a kneebar submission, wrenching hard as if wanting to take the leg home with him as a souvenir. The ref checks on Morbidus, but he shakes his head, refusing to even show any signs of giving up.~
Smith: Crash Rodriguez using the tried-and-true method with tall wrestlers: keep them on the mat!
Hood: Easier said than done, but it's a good strategy. A better one would be to distract the ref, get a chair, wedge it around Morbidus' leg, and drop your weight on it.
Smith: That's oddly specific, Hood. Had thoughts about doing something like that?
Hood: Oh, not to Morbidus.
Smith: Then to who?
Hood: Pray you never find out, Smith.
~Morbidus finally manages to reach the ropes, but Crash doesn't seem interested in breaking the hold. It takes the ref a 4 1/2 count and pushing at him to finally get him free. Crash smiles at the referee, who wants to reprimand him, but is probably a little too scared to do so. Crash briefly looks outside the ring, to where Roach is slowly trying to recover, but then goes back to Morbidus, pulling him up. But Morbidus catches him by surprise with a throat thrust, sending Crash staggering backwards! Crash rebounds himself off the ropes and tries to come back, swinging wildly, but Morbidus blocks the attack, and then picks Crash up bodily in the air, gorilla-pressing him over the ropes and out of the ring!! Unfortunately for Roach, it was right where he was finally getting up, with Crash dropping straight on top of him! Both wrestlers are down, as some cheers come from the crowd. Morbidus looks out at them at smile, before going back to work.~
Smith: Did Morbidus mean to throw Rodriguez onto Roach?
Hood: Whether he did or not, he's enjoying the crowd reaction to it.
Smith: It's really not looking like Roach's night.
Hood: Dude should have just stayed in the back with Mike.
~Morbidus is out of the ring now, with Judas ordering him on the assault. Roach goes flying into the guardrail, collapsing to the ground, allowing Morbidus to focus back on Crash. He hammers away on Crash to the side with double strikes. Inside the ring, the referee is just watching. No point in counting for a Triple Threat match, apparently. Morbidus sends Crash rocketing towards the steel steps, then turns to where Roach is, wanting to put him away. Surprisingly, though, Crash shows his skill, leaping up onto the stairs instead of hitting them and managing to catch himself. Crash then runs along the apron back towards Morbidus, leaping off towards him. Morbidus, sensing this just in time, dodges to the right, but Roach isn't as fortunate, as Crash lands on him with a flying elbow drop!! Crash doesn't seem to mind the missed target, getting up and staring down at Roach. He turns back, but Morbidus is already there, lifting Crash up by the neck and dropping him throat-first on the barricade!! Crash falls to the side, as Morbidus walks towards him, shaking some blood back into his hurting leg.~
Smith: That could cause severe damage to Crash's throat!
Hood: Uh oh. His neck's all red now, Smith! The temptation's going to be there!
~Indeed, Morbidus now has Crash up by the shoulders, staring at his neck. Morbidus doesn't appear to be in control now, as he opens his mouth, starting to head in. But Crash starts swinging his left leg into Morbidus' injured one with kicks, finally managing to free himself. He rubs his sore throat, perhaps contemplating what almost happened, and then comes back in, knocking away Morbidus' hand and kicking him in the gut. Crash then grabs Morbidus by the head and drops with a DDT on the outside, putting him down! Both men lay there, breathing heavily, as we see Roach in the background, crawling towards the ring. He slowly pulls himself up and under the ropes, laying there, with one leg still sitting on the apron.~
Hood: Props to Roach for still breathing. Guy has taken a lot of punishment.
Smith: If this was an ordinary match, he might win via countout, but we aren't going to have that here in OCW.
Hood: The fans would be pissed.
~Crash Rodriguez is the first one back to his feet, still coughing from the damage done to his throat. He stumbles towards the ring, seeing Roach already in there. Crash gets up on the apron, with Roach instinctively rolling away once to put some distance between them. Crash has no problem with this, though, as he preps for a springboard maneuver onto the wrestler. But as Crash starts to go up, Morbidus grabs his leg, yanking him back down. Crash, surprised, loses his balance, and Morbidus is able to forcefully pull him off the apron, causing him to hit face-first on the apron! Morbidus then grabs Crash and spins around with him, landing the Stake Through The Heart on the outside!!! Crash is flat on his back, completely out of it, but since no cover is possible, Morbidus just pulls himself back up. He runs a hand across his face, then turns as Juda has come over, screaming at him to head into the ring where Roach is laying. Morbidus nods and climbs up, heading in.~
Smith: Now would be a good time for the Roach of old to show up!
Hood: Of the Roach of new to run for the hills!
~Roach rolls away again, this time heading to the ropes to try and start pulling himself up. But Morbidus stops that, grabbing onto Roach's legs and lifting him up as he hangs desperately to the ropes. Morbidus pulls hard with a swaying motion, and Roach finally loses his grip and flies up, crashing back down to the mat. He tries to raise his arms to protect himself, but it does no good, as Morbidus begins to twirl around in an aeroplane spin, which always earns some cheers from the fans. Roach is helpless as Morbidus performs the second portion, flipping Roach up onto him with a tremendous show of strength and dropping him with Eternal Suffering!!! Roach is unconscious after that, as Morbidus goes for the cover... 1... 2... and Crash Rodriguez comes flying into the picture with a flying headbutt into the back of Morbidus' spine!!~
Smith: Ouch!! Spinal realignment!!
Hood: I don't care if you're living, a vampire, or what, that's gotta hurt!
Smith: What if you're a zombie?
Hood: Let's not get into semantics.
~Morbidus crawls to the side, in a lot of pain, but trying to shake it off. He pulls himself up in the corner, but Crash is already charging in with a double knee strike to the back! Crash, not satisfied, runs back and lands the strike again, and then a third time. With Morbidus hanging there by his arms, struggling to move, Crash turns back to the nearly unconscious Roach, dragging him up. He whips Roach into the corner with Morbidus, then charges in after them, living up to his name with a huge crash. Crash then climbs up, punching away at both men, before grabbing hold of Roach and coming off with the Crash Report!!! Crash makes the cover, with the referee right there... 1... 2... Morbidus falls forward, diving, but he's a second too late... 3!!!!~
Belvedere: Here is your winner... "THE CROOKED MAN" CRASH RODRIGUEZ!!
Smith: So close, but Morbidus couldn't break it up in time!
Hood: Let's face it, we knew the winner would be pinning Roach, the whole question was "Who would get the pin"? Well, Crash capitalized perfectly, and he's still undefeated in OCW!
Smith: The man's going places, Hood!
Hood: And he's doing a job that he loves, so there's that.
Smith: Morbidus came pretty close here, in a hard-fought battle. I think if Roach had given more of a fight, we might have seen a different result. For now, Morbidus will have to keep working on his new 'experiment' and see where it takes him.
Hood: As for Roach, somebody get that lug a drink! I mean, in an hour or two. When he wakes up.
~The fans are booing at the sudden sight of Chelsea LeClair in the ring~
Smith: We are back and… we have Chelsea in the ring… oh no…
Hood: What do you mean “oh no”? This girl has become the QUEEN of the Shark Tank! You’re just mad because she tells the truth and doesn’t sugar coat anything.
Smith: I don’t know what her deal is lately… with this hatred of Alice Knight…
Hood: I don’t blame her. Alice Knight is old news!
Chelsea: Thank you… you’re all too kind! I am here to PROTEST the IDEA of an Alice Knight-Andrea Hernandez match! I am PROTESTING THIS because the IDEA of Alice Knight still being RELEVANT in OCW is absolutely ASININE! She’s said it herself… she can’t win the big matches anymore! She’s too focused on her disgusting mustard among other things and therefore… I declare Alice Knight UNWORTHY of facing Andrea Hernandez at Redacted! There is only ONE wrestler on this roster that is worthy of facing Andrea… AND THAT’S ME!!!!
Smith: Oh for the love of God…
Chelsea: BECAUSE I WANT THE CHANCE TO STEAL HER THUNDER AND IMMEDIATELY BE THE BETTER HALF OF OUR FORMER TAG TEAM!
Hood: YEAH! YOU TELL HER!
Chelsea: So… as part of this protest… I am going to call out Alice Knight RIGHT NOW!!!
~The crowd erupts with cheers at this, but there’s no response from Alice.~
Chelsea: AND… hurry up you old fatass…
~A referee runs into the ring…~
Chelsea: I am going to challenge Alice to a match RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Hood: YES! DESTROY HER!
Chelsea: What? You too scared Alice? Don’t worry… I even hired YOUR own cheerleading squad! Come on out chicken wing BITCHES!!!!
~Some cheesy college band music begins to play as a bunch of Hooters girls with pom poms come pouring down the ramp.~
Hood: Let me have a piece of one of their asses!!!!
Smith: Oh brother…
Chelsea: AND… YOUR OWN PERSONAL MASCOTS! Ladies and gentlemen… Barn Owl… the Great Horned Owl… Alice’s HOOT HOOT BITCHES!!!!
~As the Hooters girls surround the ring, a barn owl mascot and a great horned owl mascot run down the ramp and slide into the ring~
Smith: This girl has lost it…
Chelsea: Alright Alice… I’ve given you a MASSIVE psychological advantage, now come down and face me so you can get your ass kicked, GRANDMA! Referee… start the ten count…
Hood: I LOVE THIS!
Chelsea: ONE…. count with me mascots…
TWO…
Smith: Chelsea realizes this isn’t an official match, right???
Chelsea: THREE…. FOUR….
~The mascots are indeed counting along with her at this point.~
Chelsea: FIVE…. SIX…. SEVEN…
Smith: This is ridiculous…
Chelsea: EIGHT… hurry up Alice… you’re about to lose… NINE…
~Suddenly, “Ultranumb” by Blue Stahli hits and the fans explode with cheers as Andrea Hernandez walks through the curtains.~
Smith: FINALLY… someone to stop this insanity…
Chelsea: ...Andrea… TEN… I WIN! I WIN! I BEAT ALICE KNIGHT!
~Andrea rolls her eyes as she grabs a microphone and slides into the ring.~
Chelsea: Celebrate with me, Andrea! I just beat Alice! The score is Chelsea 1, Alice 0!
Andrea: Shut the fuck up!
~The crowd explodes with cheers.~
Andrea: What the HELL is wrong with you?
Chelsea: Actually… the question is… what’s wrong with YOU?
Andrea: Chelsea, I’m not in the mood to play games…
Chelsea: I’m dead serious… what is wrong with you? Ever since NSFW… you just… haven’t seemed to care anymore…
Hood: YOU KNOW… that IS a good point!
Chelsea: You should be in that main event next week with Mike Best and Mack O’Connor… and instead… you’re stooping down to face someone who isn’t even worthy of facing you? If it were ME in YOUR situation, you know what I would do? I would fuck Mike Best UP until I took the World title from him, THAT is what I would do. But YOU… you do THIS instead? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you just… I don’t know… like running away from people that beat you or something?
~Andrea shoots Chelsea a glare.
Chelsea: Okay so… you lost the Paradigm title to Mack like… 60 years ago… GET OVER IT! And… GET OVER YOURSELF! You’re not going to win ALL the time! FUCK! I mean… look at me… I lose WAY more than you and yet I’m still here…
Andrea: That’s why you’ve taken up the Shark Tank and haven’t wrestled a match here in two months, right?
Chelsea: Okay listen…
Andrea: No… YOU listen… this whole charade you’re throwing out here to belittle Alice Knight is not only embarrassing, but it’s gone too far. Alice Knight has done FAR more in one year of OCW… pick ANY year she’s been here… than YOU’VE done in your entire career. What gives YOU the right to criticize ANYONE when you’ve accomplished… well… tell me what you have accomplished in OCW?
~Suddenly, Chelsea goes quiet.~
Andrea: Actually, why don’t you tell me what you’ve accomplished as a solo wrestler? What have you done since our tag team split a couple of years back? Tell me Chels… what have you done ever since I stopped carrying your ass?
Smith: WOW!!!!!!
Andrea: Yeah… exactly! So, why don’t you cut this entire charade, send all your bimbos to the back and just shut the fuck up, alright? I wouldn’t talk about anyone being scared of anyone else when you have been ducking this ring for weeks and I’ll sure as hell tell you this much, I don’t run away from ANYONE! That’s NEVER been my style. I’ve overcome challenges much harder than those you haven’t been able to overcome.
~Chelsea sighs~
Chelsea: Okay… all the Hooters bimbos… you’re dismissed…
~Chelsea gets angry as the Hooter girls leave ringside.~
Chelsea: Well Andi… all I’ve gotta say is… hoot hoot, bitch!
~Andrea is confused when suddenly, one of the owl mascots blindside her from behind with a blow to the back of the head.~
Smith: Oh come on now!!!
~Both owl mascots stomp her while she’s on the mat while Chelsea acts shocked that this is happening. Yet, she’s doing nothing to help Andrea as she tries to get up and through all the stomps and punches, that’s what she is able to do. Andrea shoves away the great horned owl while ducking a punch from the barn owl. Andrea then knees the barn owl in the gut and plants him with a tornado DDT! The barn owl rolls out of the ring while the other owl gets up. Andrea dashes right toward him and gives him a hard clothesline that sends him up and over the top rope and onto the floor. The crowd pops for Andrea’s quick disposing of the owl mascots.~
Smith: I don’t know if those mascots were acting alone or not but Andrea was able to get rid of them by herself!
Hood: Why does Andrea always have to ruin all the fun?
Chelsea: SEE, THAT’S what I am talking about Andrea.
~Andrea turns and begins to walk toward Chelsea.~
Chelsea: THAT is the intensity that will make you a world champion! Take no prisoners! Spare no expense! Don’t let anyone stand in your…
~Chelsea is cut off by Andrea grabbing Chelsea in a sleeper hold and then falling backward and driving her into the mat, finally shutting her up. The crowd again explodes as Andrea quickly goes up top and flattens Chelsea with a corkscrew moonsault. ~
Hood: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! THAT’S YOUR CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND YOU IDIOT!!!!
~Andrea picks up Chelsea’s microphone~
Andrea: Right… take no prisoners… don’t let anyone stand in my way… and that includes YOU Chelsea… and that especially includes YOU Alice Knight! I’ll see you next week!
~Andrea drops the microphone and leaves the ring before heading up the ramp~
Smith: Message sent to Alice Knight!
Hood: I never thought I’d want to ROOT for Alice Knight but… god damn it…
Smith: If Andrea is willing to take out her own best friend… then what’s going to stop her against Alice? We’ll find out when these two clash at Redacted!
Hood: Do you know what time it is Smith?
Smith: Ugh...
Hood: GENTLEMEN'S GAMES! I hope this lasts forever. Bifford is a genius.
~In the backstage area a large artificial lawn has been assembled. The Gentlemen's Games Host is back this week, standing in front of the lawn. He's approached by shadows on both sides as The Big Bifford and Cecilworth M! Farthington walk up to the fake lawn.~
Gentlemen's Games Host: This week we will have a game of CHOOSING STRAWS to determine who gets to throw the first lawn bowling ball. The one who draws the short straw will throw the first bowling ball...
~The Host lifts up his hand with 6 straws in it - one cannot tell by looking at the hand which straw is short. He offers it first to Cecilworth, who selects a straw that appears to be of normal length. The host then offers the straws to Bifford. Bifford picks another normal-length straw.~
Smith: I'm sure glad Bifford had this bright idea... This is captivating television..
Hood: Stop being ungentlemanly, Smith.
~The Host turns to Cecilworth, offering him another straw. Cecilworth again picks a normal length straw. The Host turns to Bifford who chooses the short straw and with that THE CELEBRATION begins. A mariachi band appears and Bifford walks off to join them. As the band begins playing, Bifford dances with joy and glee.~
Hood: A MARIACHI BAND!
Smith: Ugh... this isn't even the game... Bifford is celebrating winning the side-game to determine the order of participation in the real game...
Hood: Any time is a good time for a MARIACHI CELEBRATION! Biff hinted about this earlier today on the Twitter.
Smith: Oh good, that makes it make all sort of sense...
Hood: When has Bifford ever made sense? He's just random awesomeness.
~Cecilworth looks on with a bit of confusion and disdain as Bifford dances among the mariachis, holding the short straw high. Reaching into his MAGICAL FLEECE with his free hand, Bifford pulls out a handful of MYSTICAL CONFETTI and throws it in the air, which cues the mariachis to stop playing and retreat. Bifford turns his attention back to The Host and Cecilworth and walks back to them.~
Gentlemen's Games Host: Well, that was a hell of a thing... Bifford, you're up first for lawn bowling...
~Bifford reaches down and grabs one of the lawn bowling balls and examines it. Then he looks up and looks to Cecilworth.~
Bifford: Cecilworth, my good friend, I must say... I've never learned to lawn bowl before. Perhaps you, even though you did not succeed in picking the correct straw, could throw the first ball? So that I might see the proper technique?
~Cecilworth raises his hand as though to refuse the offer, showing his humility.~
Bifford: Please, I insist.. it would be ungentlemanly to not take my offer.
~Thinking it over for a moment, Farthington nods and walks over to select a lawn bowling ball. He selects one and walks over to the fake lawn, turning his back on Bifford. Like a viper waiting for the right moment, Bifford waits until his back is turned and then runs up behind him, slamming the bowling ball Bifford had selected into the back of Farthington's head.~
Smith: WHAT?!? THAT ISN'T GENTLEMANLY AT ALL!
Hood: BIFFORD REVEALING HIS NON-GENTLEMANLY WAYS! GO BIFFORD!
~As Farthington crashes to the floor, Bifford is already raising the bowling ball a second time and brings it down on the back of his head a second time. Women and children begin screaming in horror.~
Smith: Bifford is a former SERIAL KILLER with a dangerous weapon! WHERE IS SECURITY?
Hood: He paid his debt to society!
Smith: He was in jail for ONLY A FEW MONTHS!
~Moving over to the side of the downed wrestler, Bifford raises the bowling ball a third time, but this time brings it down on Cecilworth's right arm.~
Smith: HE'S TRYING TO CRIPPLE HIM BEFORE REDACTED!
~And try he will as Bifford brings the lawn bowling ball up again as Cecilworth writhes on the ground. A second time he takes aim for the right arm and slams the bowling ball into it.~
Hood: Bifford showing his real killer instincts here...
Smith: This isn't funny, Hood.
Hood: I'm sure Bifford didn't mean to do any of this... but that's just a stab in the dark.
Smith: Are you using puns about murder?
~Bifford walks to the edge of the fake lawn and begins peeling back the fake grass, which is covering a large steel grate. Bifford walks up to CM!F who is laying on the ground, almost unconscious, holding his right arm close to his body and lifts him up. As he does, Cecilworth swings his left hand into Bifford's midsection, but Bifford is quick to swing his knee up, aiming for Cecilworth's right arm and nailing it. He drags the Paradigm Champion over to the steel grate, kicking him in the stomach, and shoving his head between his legs, before lifting him and delivering The Biff End jumping piledriver onto the steel grate.~
Smith: WHERE IS SECURITY!? These are supposed to be GENTLEMEN GAMES!
~Bifford climbs to his feet, cringing a bit - obviously a jumping piledriver onto a steel grate is unpleasant for all involved. However, he grabs Cecilworth and begins lifting him up again. Finding him to be mostly dead weight, Bifford has to really work to get him up, with no kick to the stomach necessary this time. Lifting him up a second time, Bifford delivers a second Biff End jumping piledriver on the man who went undefeated in the Gentlemen's Games.~
Smith: This is getting very ugly... where is security? Where is OCW management? Where did The Host go? The Paradigm Title match at Redacted has to be in serious danger of being canceled at this point... How could Cecilworth possibly compete? What is the status of his right arm? Does he have a concussion?
~Dragging himself to his feet again, Bifford is clearly winded and is huffing and puffing from all the physical activity. He looks over to the side and motions for someone to come over. The Gentlemen's Games Host walks over, looking pale and terrified.~
Bifford: You watch... you watch how it's done...
~Bifford reaches to grab Farthington again, his hair soaked in sweat and his breathing heavy and uncomfortable. Lifting the man he again shoves his head between his legs, but this time pauses to catch his breath a moment. The Host looks like he's not sure if he should run or stay. Then Bifford lifts Farthington again with a much lazier version of The Biff End, barely leaving the ground at all - but Farthington's head still slamming into the steel grate. Bifford begins trying to get up, but as he does he looks over at The Host with disdain.~
Bifford: Announce the winner, you little bitch.
~The Host just shakes his head, looking like he wants to be anywhere else in the world but here. Bifford gets to his feet and glares at him.~
Bifford: Announce it or YOU'RE NEXT!
~Raising his hands in victory, Bifford awaits the announcement.~
The Host: Your winner... by disqualification, CECILWORTH M! FAR-
~Bifford lowers his hands and tries to grab The Host, but he takes off sprinting away. Bifford cries out in anger, realizing that he didn't, in fact, win this game. He goes and grabs the lawn bowling ball and walks back to Farthington, dropping to his knees he begins to slam the ball into the back of Farthington's head again. After the second hit, OCW security and referees swarm the scene, pulling Bifford off of him.~
Smith: This is sick.. This man belongs in prison.
Hood: Bifford does nothing but give and give and give... Mariachis? The Gentlemen's Games? An alternate use to lawn bowling balls? Bifford should be commended...
Smith: You're sick.
~As four security guards and arena officials drag Bifford away, he raises his arms in the air in victory.~
Bifford: I AM THE GENTLEMAN! I WON THE GAMES! ALL OF THEM! HE RIGGED THEM TO LOOK LIKE HE WON! I WON! I'm the one who got the MARIACHI CELEBRATION! YOU'RE NOTHING FARTHINGTON! NOTHING!!!
~Medical personnel begin tending to CM!F as Bifford is dragged away.~
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Tag Team Match
R.O.S.E. © (3-0) vs. Deluxxx (0-2)
~We return ringside as John E. Depth and Shootah are in the ring. The members of Deluxxx who have recently been at odds and a whole mess of things going on between them. However, tonight they would be teaming up.~
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall .... in the ring, the team of John E. Depth and Shootah .... DELUXXX!!!!!
Hood: I don’t see how either of these guys can trust each other, at all.
Smith: Well they’re going to have to. They are tasked with competing against the OCW Tag Team Champions … and we know R.O.S.E. has been out for blood lately.
~The lights go out as a purple spotlight centers on stage. The beginning chords to "Evil In Me" by Thomas Edwards begin to kick in. The crowd boos MASSIVELY.~
Belvedere: And their opponents ... From Los Angeles, Califonia ....making their way to the ring at a combined weight of three hundred pounds .... Lilith ... Sarah Twilight ... they are R.O.S.E.!!!!!!
~Pyros shoot up from both sides of the entrance ramp and the melody finally kicks into high gear as Lilith appears at the top of the entrance ramp. She is quickly flanked by Sarah Twilight. The two join hands and begin making their way down the entrance ramp. Lilith points and laughs at the crowd, mocking them as Sarah stares forward, ignoring the sheep. The couple part at ringside as Lilith makes her way to one side of the ring and Sarah to the other. Rolling into the ring they take to opposite turnbuckles. Sarah stares forward coldly as Lilith enjoys some self appreciation among the enraged boos of the fans.~
Smith: Sounds like the fans love these two just as much as always.
Hood: Oh shut up, these fans are idiots. These two are the best bit about the show, especially Lilith.
~Back in the ring Lilith smiles over at Hood and Smith, jumping out the ring and walking over to them extremely happily. She then takes a seat next to Smith and grabs one of the spare headsets ready to help commentate. ~
Hood: Lilith, welcome. Please make yourself comfortable. Smith we've been joined by royalty, greet her kindly.
Smith: Yeah, I'm so overjoyed. Hello, Lilith.
Lilith: Hi Smithy! Hi Hood! Super excited to watch this match with the two of you!
Smith: Excuse me, shouldn't you be IN this match?
Hood: She can do whatever she wants, Smith. She's Lilith.
Lilith: EXACTLY! See this guy, he gets it. So anyway as you can see my Sarah is in the ring right meow looking SUPER freaking sexy… hmmmmm… maybe I should get in there… finish this up nice and quick so I can go backstage and finish Sarah up nice and quick.
Smith: Oh come on that's not even appropriate.
Hood: What's not? They're a happily married couple, Smith. I know that means nothing to you but some happy couples have good sexual relationships.
~In the ring, Depth and Shootah stand on the apron in their corner as they argue with each other over who is going to start the match. Neither of them wanting to get into the ring with Sarah. The Mistress of Mischief however, isn’t here to waste time and she makes the choice for them as she grabs the closest one of them to her, which was Shootah and yanks him over the top rope into the ring. Scruff calls for the bell. ~
Lilith: My Sarah already coming in with the grrrrrr, this should be over super quickly.
Hood: I agree.
Smith: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Lilith: HEY! That's no way to talk about Hood!
~Sarah starts putting the boots to Shootah who tries to scramble away from her but to no avail. Twilight hauls him to his feet, only to drive him right back into the canvas with a face plant DDT.~
Lilith: Now here's an interesting bit of trivia for you… I actually did a move similar to that last night to Sarah… in bed… whilst she was naked. It was so yummy!
Smith: Please stop.
Hood: Ignore him, Lilith. Give us all the juicy details!
~Shootah is already out of it, but Sarah is far from finished with him as she seats him up and plants a few SHARP kicks into his chest before finally nailing one across his face. Depth just watches on from his corner wanting no part of this.~
Smith: Depth has no reason to want in that ring. But Shootah desperately needs to make a tag.
Lilith: I mean honestly it's kinda nice to see her still going at him even after he's like passed out having had enough.
Smith: Huh?
Lilith: Cos that's what I'm like with her every night.
Hood: This is so awesome.
Smith: Urgh.
~Sarah drags Shootah back to his feet as she looks out among the sheep in the crowd. Using a great amount of strength she hauls him up and CRASHES him back down with the TWILIGHT ZONE! Shootah is absolutely laid out. Depth remains on the apron, not even thinking about trying to help out. Sarah makes the cover on Shootah, Scruff into position.~
Smith: At least his suffering is over.
One!
Two!
Thre--
~Sarah pulls Shootah’s shoulder off of the canvas before Scruff hits the three count and she shakes her head. The crowd boos like crazy.~
Smith: Oh come on! You’ve already beaten the guy just end it!
~Sarah stands, leaving Shootah laid out on the canvas and points at Depth, motioning for him to get into the ring. Depth shakes his head no and hops down from the apron, deciding to make a run for it. This prompts Lilith to take action~
Lilith: Okayz, guys it's been super great talking to the two of you but… I got actual work to do.
~And with that Lilith pulls off her headset, throwing it down onto the desk and takes off chasing down Depth who she catches up to and tackles down easier than it should have been. She throws a few elbows into his forehead, dazing him and drags him back towards the ring, forcing him to get back up onto the apron in his corner.~
Smith: Why couldn't she have just let him go?
Hood: The guy is a professional wrestler, if he doesn't want to get into the ring during his own match maybe he should just find a new profession, he could be a garbage man.
~Sarah, drags Shootah’s limp carcass over to his corner and makes him tag in Depth, who still wants no part of this match. Lilith climbs up onto the ring apron and Sarah tags her into the match. The redhead smirks, taking her place on the apron. ~
Smith: Well Depth is all by himself right now, and in the ring with a madwoman. Shootah has been completely taken out of this contest.
Hood: This right here is a message to everyone heading into Redacted. This is what our Tag Champions do, they eliminate and destroy.
~Depth is now the legal competitor as well as Lilith and Depth again leaves the ring, opting for the count out. However, Sarah hops down momentarily and the prospect of having to go through her doesn’t seem any better so he rolls back into the ring. Lilith meets him with a high knee to the face that staggers him back against the ropes. As he gathers himself and stumbles forward, she follows up with a winding clothesline that knocks him to the canvas.~
Hood: This is dominance, pure and simple.
Smith: This is also arrogance. Lilith spent half of her time bothering us!
Hood: It was no bother for me. I found it fascinating.
~Lilith flexes her fingers as she waits for Depth to get back to his feet, showing off her deadly long nails and as Depth manages back to his feet she applies the DEATH GRIP to his face and temples! Depth flails about for a few moments before succumbing to the brutal claw grip and taps out.~
BELL RINGS.
Belvedere: Here are your winners by submission …. They are The OCW Tag Team Champions … Lilith and Sarah Twilight …. R.O.S.E.!!!
~“Evil In Me” again plays throughout the arena and the crowd boos massively. Lilith and Sarah collect their championships and celebrate in the ring as Depth rolls to the outside in agony. Shootah still down and out at ringside.~
Hood: Very dominant display by our Tag Champs. I expect nothing less at Redacted. These two have been on a tear. People have been put on the shelf. They are on fire right now.
Smith: We’ll see. Next week they’ll have two hungry teams nipping at their heels for those belts. Let’s see how well they fare against the Dravers when they know they’re coming. Let’s see how they fare against Duce Jones with a partner at his side that they can’t jump and remove from competition.
Hood: Let’s see you show some RESPECT! You have been such a critic just because Sarah Twilight decided to cash in and share the glory with her equally talented and extremely beautiful wife. You act as if that’s not the nature of the contract. You always had to be ready, no matter who you are. The Dravers learned that lesson at NSFW and they are going to find out that the result would have been the same if they had known in advance. As for Duce Jones, he was basically gifted this opportunity for no good reason!
Smith: I disagree, the champs laid out a challenge to Kitty Petrova, she found a partner in Duce and the champs accepted. Now Petrova is removed from the picture permanently, Jones still has his opportunity and that is the right call. Let’s see the champs back up Lilith’s mouth!
Hood: I believe they have. And we’ll see it again at Redacted!
Smith: I’ll believe it when I see it. Alright folks we have more in store for you tonight, stay put!
~The screen turns black at starts to cut down from 10. When it hits 9, Ed Houston walks out, a mic in his hand, a deathly serious glare on his face.~
“Cut the countdown.”
~Houston walks down to the ring with a purpose as the countdown on the screen stops at nine and the only noise heard throughout the arena are cheers~
Smith: Ed’s looking very serious tonight.
Hood: Guy banging his ex probably got into NASA.
Smith: I doubt that very much
~Houston slides into the ring. He looks around as the crowd cheers loudly for him. He takes a deep breath and begins.~
“I should be facing Mike Best for the OCW Championship at Redacted. This is absolutely ridiculous. I beat Mack O’Connor at NSFW and my prize is to sit around while Mike Best not only gives up the Craze Championship but takes his sweet time naming a challenger. I had that dark cloud hanging over my head for weeks and weeks. I had another shot at being a star in the OCW universe, fading by the week as I eagerly awaited his choice. This isn’t how you treat someone who made the Craze Championship what it is today. I was the first champion, I helped raise its prestige and ran through all challengers for three months and instead not only do I get the match I’m entitled to, the shot to take out the undefeated Mike Best, I have to go through an entirely different match just to get my title around my waist again. It’s time for OCW to get behind this train. I’m the one with two different product lines, okay one’s defunct now but that’s beside the point. I’m the one that took the mighty Paramount Pictures to its knees. I’m the future movie star and in order to get my hands back on my championship, I have to go through two match Crash. Crash!? He wasn’t even in OCW when I ran through that battle royal and now he gets a shot at the Craze Championship.”
~Houston scoffs.~
“Crash!”
~The opening riff of ‘21st Century Schizoid Man’ fills the arena, all eyes are glued to the ramp. We reach the second verse with no sign of Crash anywhere. Ed Houston stares intently at the ramp waiting for the rookie. Suddenly, we see the ‘Crooked Man’ making his way from ringside, taking a microphone from the announcer's table, but Houston has yet to see him. Crash taps the top of the mic, alerting his Redacted opponent to his presence, before speaking.~
“You speak so much about what you were and what you have done. All I’m hearing is what your not. You’re not a champion anymore. You’re not a contender for some other idiotic symbol of ‘greatness’. Instead now your just another name soon to be added to the list of Crash’s victims.”
~The 21-year-old flashes his crooked smile, showing off his missing incisor and wicked intentions. Houston looks over Crash, not quite sure how to take him. ~
“You know, Crash in NASA we had a set of rules. You know what one of the rules was? You had to have all your teeth. Crash I’m not some sort of street urchin or whatever you’re used to fighting. I am a NASA man. You can’t fly with me and in North Korea, you’re going to crash and burn.”
“You call yourself a ‘rocketman’. Well, I have a spoiler for you. I am your crash, and you will burn. Just as those poor bastards on the Challenger space shuttle, you’ll be ripped piece by piece and left littered around like common trash. I WILL LEAVE YOU DECIMATED AND MANGLED!”
~Crash finally steps through the ropes, standing face to face with the Rocketman. Houston looks at Crash with a surprised look on his face. Before anyone can quite comprehend what has happened, he hits Crash with a Houston, We Have A Problem! The crowd is silent, too stunned to speak. They slowly come to their senses and start to boo Ed!~
Smith: These fans are booing Ed!
Hood: I hear Elton John is pretty popular in Key West.
Smith: And? Why shouldn’t he be? He’s one of the best!
~Houston looks incredulously at the crowd~
“Oh what? I was the most popular wrestler here last month. I was the most popular wrestler here last year and now you want to boo! For him!?”
~Houston rolls his eyes. He throws the mic towards Crash and exits the ring. He makes it to the top and puts his hands up in the air, embracing the boos in Key West for the first time. As he turns, Crash rises to his and holds his head, the crowd is unsure if it’s the voice’s doing or the kick to his head. The OCW rookie regains his composure and turns his attention towards Ed Houston as he walks the ramp. Crash charges and slides under the ropes. Outside the ring, Crash grabs a chair from under the ring and makes his way to The Rocketman, resulting in the crowd roaring in hopes of a sneak peek of things to come at Redacted. Houston suddenly takes off, the ‘Crooked Man’ throws the steel chair but it falls short of hitting his attacker as he disappears backstage. Crash turns to eye the crowd as they go nuts for the rookie~
Smith: What a night of action it has been and now it's time for the main event!
Hood: Thank goodness! The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can get to Redacted.
Smith: Up next we a new title being added to the mix as we debut the X-Factor Championship!
Hood: Yes.. a title that can either make your career.. or kill it dead..
~Before Belvedere is able to clear his throat for the final time of the evening.. He's interrupted as "Godspeed" by Don Trip starts up through the PA system. The fans all begin to cheer as Duce Jones steps from behind the curtain.~
Smith: Well I guess Duce Jones has a few words to say before we get into our main event.
Hood: He did mention on Twitter that he would announce who his tag team partner would be for the triple threat tag title match. Let's be honest though, there's no way Lilith and Sarah Twilight are walking out empty handed.
Smith: I see that you're confident in R.O.S.E leaving Redacted victorious.
Hood: Do they seriously have any competition? Because if so, I don't see it.
~Duce heads straight for the ring, slapping a few of the outstretched hands on the way. Making it to the apron, he leaps up onto it and steps through the ropes. Going to the corner near the announce table, Jones climbs to the second turnbuckle and looks out to the cheering fans with a smile. Hopping down, he asks Belvedere for his microphone. He receives it and Belvedere exits. Duce gives the fans a moment to calm down before he finally speaks.~
Duce Jones: Fo' tha past couple'a weeks.. I've been searchin' near an' far fo' tha perfect tag partna' ta help me walk outta Redacted wit those tag straps..
~Duce takes a moment to contemplate his next choice of words..~
Duce Jones: Cuz right now.. I have no otha' choice but ta lay it all on tha line. Guess y'all could kinda call me the man tryna hang on at tha end'a tha rope.. An' I'm losin' my grip fast.
~Duce's face becomes sorrowful as he looks down at the canvas.~
Duce Jones: Ya see I'm not a guy who got many friends in dis business.. Tha few I did have, have all went their separate ways. An' no matta' how many times I run out here ta put Twilight an' Lilian in they place wit tha Dravas beside me.. In North Korea.. we gonna be on opposite sides'a dat rang.. So who's it gonna be? Who's gonna stand by my side as we prove ta be tha best tag team in dis company?
~Duce pauses as he looks around to the curious fans.~
Duce Jones: Ladies an' Gentlemen! I present ta y'all.. my tag team partna'!
~Duce points towards the curtain as the lights go out and a purple spotlight centers on stage. The beginning chords to "Evil In Me" by Thomas Edwards begin to kick in. The crowd boos MASSIVELY.~
Smith: Wait, I'm confused, they're his team mates?
Hood: ...really, Smith? No they aren't his partners, he WISHES they were however.
~Pyros shoot up from both sides of the entrance ramp and the melody finally kicks into high gear as Lilith appears at the top of the entrance ramp holding a cardboard box which she has drawn a big smiley face onto. She is quickly flanked by Sarah Twilight. The two join hands and begin making their way down the entrance ramp. Lilith points and laughs at Duce, mocking him as Sarah stares forward, ignoring the sheep who are booing the couple quite loudly. The couple part at ringside as Lilith makes her way to one side of the ring and Sarah to the other. Rolling into the ring they just walk straight up to Duce, trying to intimate him. Sarah grabs a microphone from the timekeeper as Lilith just continues to stare at Duce, cardboard box still in hand. She then grabs HIS microphone out of his hand and pushes him back a bit almost daring him to do something.~
Smith: Lilith isn't messing around tonight and I think Duce knows it.
Hood: She's so hot when she's like this. I bet she's still furious at Duce for destroying her talk show set. What a dick move that was.
~Lilith waves in Duces face, smiling brightly.~
Lilith: Hi Ducey! It's soooooooo good to see you again! How have you been since our last meeting in the middle of this ring? Good? Good I hope! I hope good! That'd make me sooooo happiful to know you're not going to emo fit yourself out of our upcoming match together! Speaking of which… I heard you were looking for a new team mate. Here ya go… ya fucking jerk!
~The crazed brunette throws the cardboard box AT Duce, causing him to bat it away looking at Lilith pretty pissed off that she'd just done that. He gets into Lilith's face but Sarah pulls him back getting into his face instead.~
Sarah Twilight: Try it, I fucking dare you.
~Lilith bursts out laughing pointing at Duce around Sarah's shoulder.~
Lilith: Yeah! Try it you stink faced trash bear! She'll rip your stuffing out! But hey… at least your new team mate is much tougher than your last one… happier too! YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
~Lilith glares at Duce noticing that he didn't even say “thank you” and SLAPS him hard across his face from behind Sarah's back. A collective "OHHH!" rings through the crowd as Duce calmly grabs at his face, a look of irritation soon comes across his face.~
Lilith: Here's the thing, Ducey, as SUPER GOOD FUN as it is to come out here and ruin your fun. We're actually out here for a way more important reason and that's to tell you…
~Lilith once again pushes Duce in his face, just angering him even more so.~
Lilith: What our match is gonna be! See the beautiful and super lovely Sarah and me, Lilith, are the CHAMPIONS and that means that we can basically do whatever the hell we want, WHENEVER the hell we want! And what we want is for our match to be a… DRUM ROLL!
~Lilith tries to tap on Duce’s head but he pulls away from her glaring at her.~
Lilith: Alright, moody. Jeez! Anyway our match is gonna be… a no holds barred triple tag team elimination match! And Duce? I can not wait to have some fun with you and Cardboard Petrova! Hahahaha!
Hood: Cardboard Petrova?
Smith: She's talking about the cardboard box still…
Hood: Ohhh! Well, I'm sure it's going to put up a better fight than Kitty did! Good job, Lilith, giving him a better teammate!
Smith: A no holds barred tag team elimination match, though! What a match!
Hood: That WILL be good and OH MY GOD! LILITH JUST CLOCKED DUCE IN HIS JAW! DUCE IS DOWN!
~Back in the ring Lilith stands over a downed Duce, just glaring at him, anger burning within her.~
Lilith: THAT'S FOR DESTROYING MY COOKIE SHOW STUFF!!! YOU ASSHOLE!!!
~Duce begins to stir trying to get back to his feet, but Lilith just kicks him HARD in his ribs as Sarah jumps outside the ring, grabbing the ring bell.~
Hood: What's she going to do with that?!
Smith: I have a bad feeling about this…
~Sarah jumps back into the ring and tells Lilith to pick up their opponent, who was still in pain after the strikes from Lilith. Lilith nods her head and grabs Duce around his arms and pulls him up onto his feet. Sarah holds the ring bell preparing to strike… THE LIGHTS GO OUT!~
Smith: This can't be good..
Hood: Somebody! Quick! Get the lights back on!
~When they spring back to life, the audience gasps collectively as a figure now stands between R.O.S.E and a downed Duce Jones. The tag champs curiously staring at the man who is unknown to them but well known to the OCW faithful.~
Hood: No…. What the fuck is this shit!?
Smith: It's the Father of Duce! KRAYZIE!
Hood: I thought he was locked away in a retirement home somewhere.
~The former OCW veteran stands there with his patented barbed wire kendo stick in tow and dares the champions to make a move.~
Smith: Krayzie hasn't been seen standing inside of an OCW ring in over fifteen years!
Hood: Well the champs are gonna remind him why he should've stayed gone.
~The tag champions stand their ground, refusing to back down. Duce gets to his feet and stand next to his father. Twilight swings the ring bell at Krayzie as Lilith goes to attack Duce. The father and son duo both dodge out of the way. Krayzie cracks Sarah across the side with the kendo stick, forcing her to drop the ring bell. Duce feigns an attack on Lilith but her and her wife quickly retreat, rolling under the bottom rope. Duce and Krayzie stand their ground inside of the ring. The fans explode in admiration for the two.~
Smith: I can't believe Krayzie has made his return to Online Championship Wrestling! And he's here to back up his son, Duce Jones at Redacted!
Hood: I mean I get it… but couldn't Duce have found a partner that's a bit… ya know… younger?
Smith: What are you talking about Hood? Krayzie looks to still be in great shape..
Hood: I guess.. But I doubt he can keep up with the youthfulness of those two lovely ladies!
~Outside of the ring, Sarah Twilight grabs a microphone, glaring at the father and son duo in the ring with a twisted smirk upon her face. Lilith joins at her side and the two women look highly confident.~
Sarah Twilight: That’s your surprise? An old man? Fine by us.
~The crowd boos heavily at the disrespect shown for Krayzie.~
Sarah Twilight: It will make this even sweeter. When we’re done kicking his crippled ass, we’ll finish what we started here tonight!
~More boos from the crowd as Sarah and Lilith make their way around the ring towards the ramp, displaying their tag team championships much to the chagrin of the crowd. Duce and Krayzie never take their eyes off of the pair of villainous women.~
~As the show cuts to a video, the bright fluorescence of cheap, plastic lighting brings the scene to life. The camera finds OCW Double Champion* Mike Best sitting on a large doctor’s exam table, shirtless and with a heavy flexible brace supporting his injured shoulder. Clearly the champion isn’t here tonight, and this live via satellite video is evidence as to why.~
~The crowd pops for his image on the screen above the stage, since Mack O’Connor and Mike Zybala have essentially turned them (at least temporarily) into a bunch of merch buying Mike Best marks, but there isn’t a smile on the face of the champion as he stares into the camera. ~
Mike Best: Undefeated.
~A slight hint of a snicker escapes the champ, the OCW Championship over his healthy shoulder. He shakes his head, looking down at the floor and then back up to the camera~
Mike Best: It’s just a word, ya know? A powerful word. A word with a lot of weight behind it. A word that strikes fear, and jealousy, and outrage in the hearts of so many. But at the end of the day, it’s just a word.
~The Double Champ* rolls his injured shoulder slightly, still feeling it out as the empty examination room glows brightly behind him. The doctor seems to be absent, at least for the moment.~
Mike Best: You can say it’s a brand, or a movement, or a… whatever. I can put it on a t-shirt and sell out to the bunch of you fat, sweaty marks in a heartbeat-- thanks for that, Mack. But at the end of the day, it’s just one word. Four syllables. And for the last five months, I’ve built my foundation in OCW on that one little word. Undefeated.
~He pulls the OCW Championship off of his shoulder, glancing over at it and holding it up in front of the camera~
Mike Best: Is this what you want, Mack? This big piece of gold and leather? Is it my undefeated streak that you want? The notoriety of beating the man who couldn’t be beat? Do you want my possessions? My essence? Do you want to ruin the foundation that I’ve built? Because for five weeks now, you’ve beaten me, you’ve broken me, you’ve damn near ended my career. You and Mike Zybala have gotten into my head, gotten into my spirit, and physically punished me in a way that no one else in OCW has-- maybe in a way that no one else EVER has.
~He shakes his head, dropping the belt onto the exam table with an unceremonious thud~
Mike Best: Not Meyhu, or Paras. Not Langston, or Andrea. Not even Ian. But you, Mack? You put me right here in this seat today. You put my career on the line, in a sort of irony around these parts. You have taken me to my physical and emotional limits, and we haven’t even made it to Redacted yet-- you have done something that no one else in this company has managed to do, Mack O’Connor. You’ve made this personal. You’ve made this about more than words, or possessions, or movements, or brands. You’ve made this about more than just building a foundation. You have created a war that deserves more than just a match. More than just a main event. I don’t want to just BEAT you at Redacted, Mack O’Connor.
~He raises himself up from the exam table, his face getting closer to the camera. No smirk. No snicker. Nothing in his eyes but a burning anger, and yet he doesn’t yell. He only speaks.~
Mike Best: I want to be… the last… man… standing.
~And with that, the feed cuts to black~
OCW Presents: Redacted
OCW Craze Championship
Texas Barbed Wire Match
Singles Match
OCW Paradigm Championship
OCW Savage Championship
OCW Championship
LIVE! Monday, July 29th 2019
From North Korea
Tag Team Championship
R.O.S.E. (c) vs. The Dravers Boys vs. Duce Jones & Krayzie
Ed Houston vs. Crash Rodriguez
Lurrr vs. Scott Stevens
Alice Knight vs. Andrea Hernandez
Cecilworth M! Farthington (c) vs. The Big Bifford
Vossler (c) vs. Logan
Mike Best (c) vs. Mack O'Connor
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Main Event
X-Factor Championship
Great Scott vs. Skittlez vs. The Ubertaker vs. Tony the Spider vs. Iggy Hardy
~It’s time for the Go Home show main event, and if you were just thinking to yourself “Oh boy, I can’t wait to read all these jobber entrances for the XFactor Championship match”, I don’t think you quite understand the low effort bit that is being pulled off here. As OCW comes back from commercial, all five competitors in tonight’s Battle Royal for the XFactor Championship are already in the ring. They came out while you were watching ads, and it was fucking majestic and magical. Iggy Hardy danced with Great Bear. Ubertaker was dropped off at ringside by an actual Uber, which was driven by Tony the Spider who got Uber certified just for this match. It was a silly, elegant masterpiece~
~Except for Skittlez. Skittlez made a very serious entrance and didn’t seem to understand the general silly nature of tonight’s main event.~
Smith: An absolutely unprecedented night in wrestling, folks-- tonight, five men who would otherwise NEVER appear in an OCW main event have assembled in one ring to battle it out for a brand new OCW title-- the XFACTOR CHAMPIONSHIP!
Hood: What a shitty bit. Why is this the main event? Did the idiot who booked this match spend all weekend getting drunk and totally miss that CWF closed down?
Smith: I don’t know what a CWF is, Hood. But it sounds terrible.
Hood: Splish splash.
Smith: Splish splash, indeed.
~Inside the ring, special guest referee “Kermit the Frog”, who was not at all previously advertised for this event and definitely doesn’t endorse whatever is about to happen, is in the ring explaining the rules of the match to the participants. Begrudgingly, Great Scott gives up the XFactor Championship to the referee, hoping that he’ll see it again someday~
~Nine judges sit at ringside, all of them there to make sure that feet are touching the floor in a previously agreed upon manner. If they don’t like the way a pair of feet are touching the floor, they’re going to find a way to change it-- after all, that’s what having the XFACTAHHHH is all about.~
~Finally, the bell is rung, and the match officially begins~
~Right out of the gate, Ubertaker and Tony the Spider intelligently make a beeline for Iggy Hardy, who lunges in for a double clothesline, but the Ministry of Parkness ducks in unison! Tony and Uber spin around, each throwing up a leg and hitting a once in a lifetime feat-- the TWO Hit Wonder! Iggy’s own superkick is used against him in tandem, as he stumbles back into the ropes and flips over the top! Falling to the floor, Iggy Hardy’s feet touch and the bell rings, officially eliminating him from the match~
Smith: And there goes Iggy Hardy! What a shame, Hood. He might have been the entire inspiration for this division, and now he’s out in the opening seconds!
Hood: It’s all that intensity, Smith. The ring just can’t contain it. And from what I hear, neither can the roleplay board.
Smith: The what?
Hood: It’s that HR tool that DeAngelo Vickers uses for conflict resolution. Two guys stand on the board and work out their problems by putting themselves in the other guys shoes. Iggy Hardy is SO INTENSE that he isn’t allowed on the roleplay board anymore. That’s a shoot.
Smith: This sounds like a really flimsy way to cover a dig.
Hood: It’s a real thing. I wouldn’t just make this up.
~Iggy Hardy is in an intense rage outside, seemingly in disbelief that he was eliminated so quickly. Tony the Spider and the Ubertaker are celebrating in the ring, not used to coming in anything but last in matches-- this veritable jobber’s paradise is only interrupted by an incoming Skittlez and Great Scott, who take down the Ministry pair with a set of clotheslines that flatten their backs to the canvas!~
~Tony the Spider rolls toward the corner, grabbing the turnbuckle and pulling himself back to his feet, as Skittlez and Great Scott lay the stomps into Ubertaker in two-on-one action. Tony the Spider rushes in to even the odds, but outside the ring, Great Bear grabs him by the leg, holding him in place as the crowd goes fucking bananas! It’s entirely possible that THE GREAT SCOTT is being done in the front row, but we’re not entirely sure, and Tony doesn’t seem to care as he kicks Great Bear in the face just about as hard as a man can kick a fucking bear. ~
Smith: Oh my! I don’t know if you’re allowed to kick an animal like that, folks. OCW doesn’t not condone cruelty to any of our furry friends, even the ones who wear headphones and lightly interfere in matches.
Hood: Fuck that bear, kick him again, Tony! IF HE ONLY KNEW!
~While Tony is distracted by Great Bear, he’s blindsided from behind by Skittlez! The Diet Jamie Kennedy kind of just...crashes... into Tony’s back, before he grabs Tony’s feet and tries awkwardly to throw him over the ropes to the outside… Tony is fighting against it… but Great Scott joins in the fray! Ubertaker can’t make it to his feet in time to stop it, as Tony the Spider is ousted over the top rope, falling to the floor!!! All nine judges weigh in, and his feet have indeed touched! Tony the Spider has been eliminated!!!!~
~Ubertaker scrambles all the way to his feet, rallying punches into the back of Great Scott’s head in retaliation for his fallen comrade. Skittlez takes a few steps back to let it happen, a super mega intense serious look on his face as Scott turns around, throwing back punches of his own! The crowd is in a fury as they battle back and forth trading blows, but Ubertaker suddenly nails a low kick to the gut, staggering Great Scott-- he launches the recently exiled jobber into the ropes with an Irish whip, waiting for him to bounce back…~
~But Skittlez holds down the top rope, and sends Scott careening over the top! Skittlez has eliminated Great Scott from the match!!!!~
Smith: OH MY GOD! Skittlez is on a tear right now, with two straight eliminations! He’s all business out here tonight, gunning for that championship!
Hood: The XFactor division is VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS, Smith. Gotta be in it to win it!
Smith: With Great Scott eliminated, that only leaves… WAIT! WAIT A SECOND!
~“Absolutely Unaware That He Is A Part Of This” referee Kermit the Frog is conferring with the judges, and all nine of them agree that Great Scott has not been eliminated! The camera pans to ringside, where Great Scott never touched the floor! He landed on the shoulders of Great Bear, who kept him from being eliminated! The fans are going fucking banana sandwich and now literally everyone is doing THE GREAT SCOTT! KERMIT is doing it! Tony the Spider is doing it, and laughing! Iggy Hardy is doing an INTENSE AS FUCK version of it! The fans are in as much unison as the fans can be, considering THE GREAT SCOTT is a real amalgamation of fuck.~
~Skittlez is not doing THE GREAT SCOTT~
~He came here to win.~
~Shrugging off the cultural phenomenon of the century, Skittlez turns his attention to The Ubertaker. He kicks him in the gut, setting him up before executing a near picture perfect suplex in the middle of the ring. As Ubertaker climbs back up slowly, Skittlez hits another! And then a third! The fans are in awe, seeing Skittlez actually wrestle maybe for the first time ever!~
Smith: Amazing execution from a man who usually wrestles by accident, Hood. This seems pretty out of character for Skittlez, who usually can’t even find his own feet!
Hood: A lot of this match feels pretty “out of character”, Smith. Feedback from the network might be rough this week.
Smith: What feedback? We don’t get much feedback, Hood.
Hood: Good point.
~Ubertaker gets back to his feet, broken by three immaculate suplexes in a row. He backs away from the Herculean Skittlez, raising his arms into the sky in a display of his Dark Power. It is time to turn this motherfucker around. The lights in the arena begin to dim and flicker, and Skittlez’s eyes grow wide as he yells something like “YO THE FUCK IS DIS NIGGA”, much to the dismay of the black people watching at home who are fairly certain he isn’t allowed to say that word.~
~Skittlez looks to his left and then to his right, realizing quickly that literally nothing is happening and that Key West is probably experiencing a brown out. He shrugs his shoulders, and then rears back for a haymaker, but he’s toppled from behind!!!~
Smith: GREAT SCOTT WITH THE SCOTTKICK!
Hood: Just call it a fucking dropkick man don’t be like that.
~Indeed, Great Scott has leapt off the shoulders of Great Bear, nailing Skittlez in the back of the head and sending him stumbling toward the ropes! Skittlez falls over the top and Scott begins to celebrate… but Skittlez gets his legs caught in the ropes, and he isn’t eliminated!!! All nine judges are in agreement!~
~Skittlez untangles himself awkwardly from between the ropes, rolling back under them and into the ring. Great Bear rushes toward the apron to try and stop him, but unsanctioned special referee Kermit the Frog is all over Great Bear, pointing at the back and ejecting it from ringside!~
Smith: A bear was just ejected from this match. I don’t know where we go from here. Where do we go from here, Hood?
Hood: Home? I hope?
~With the referee’s back turned and dealing with the Great Bear situation, Skittlez climbs to his feet, reaching into the back of his jeans and producing a Glock 9mm pistol, turning it sideways for flavor and pointing it directly at Great Scott~
Smith: Oh. A gun.
Hood: Ask a stupid question…
~Not even hesitating, Great Scott reaches into the back of his trunks, pulling out CHEKOV’S GUN, the big hunting rifle of a pistol that it turns out WASN’T just named that for fun. The crowd is half terrified and half marking the fuck out, as both men aim the guns directly at eachother in the first ever OCW MAIN EVENT MEXICAN STANDOFF!!!~
~The Ubertaker is no fool-- he wants to live to reap the souls of the Lyfters another day and immediately realizes that the XFACTOR CHAMPIONSHIP is not worth getting shot in the fucking head. He quickly and unceremoniously steps over the top rope, hopping down to the floor and eliminating himself with very little fanfare. “Quickly Becoming A Dead Horse Of A Joke” special referee Kermit the Frog spins around and sees the Mexican standoff, as the judges go back and forth about the quality of the last elimination. ~
~They choose to let it stand. UBERTAKER IS OUT!!!!~
Smith: C’mon, guys-- no one needs to die here today. Put the guns away! It’s just a championship!
Hood: Fuck that, Smith-- this is serious business, and Great Scott only has one bullet in that fucking gun, so if he’s gonna shoot, he’d better shoot clean!
~Before Skittlez has time to pull the trigger, Great Scott does just that-- he closes his eyes and fires the gun directly at Skittlez, a mountain of a round leaving the chamber as he crumbles into the fetal position, not wanting to see the aftermath.~
~….and he misses.~
~The bullet flies over the right shoulder of Skittlez, who barely even flinches. He’s from the streets. He’s been shot at plenty of times. And sure, they were paintballs. Sure, he was always in full gear. And sure, sometimes it hurt a lot-- but right now, he’s running on adrenaline, and he points the gun directly at Scott’s back… pulling the trigger…~
Smith: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Hood: Relax, no one is getting fucking shot in a--
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
~Absolute chaos ensues in the OCW Arena, fans screaming and trying to get down and a bunch of people praying this doesn’t get political tomorrow on Facebook as Skittlez unloads seven straight rounds directly into the back of Great Scott. The fans who aren’t panicking are staring on in horrified sadness, and “Definitely Regretting This” special referee Kermit the Frog looks as though he may vomit, or at least put this on a “Top 10 Wrestlers Who Didn’t Understand The Purpose Of A Division” video.~
~Scott isn’t moving~
~Is he breathing? We aren’t sure.~
Smith: Oh… oh my God… is Great Scott… dead?
Hood: Holy fucking shit. HOLY SHIT.
~Skittlez, seeming used to be accosted after firing a gun, drops the weapon and puts his hands up as Kermit the Frog looks to the judges to see what should be done. All nine of them can’t seem to agree on anything, as immediately a Pinewood Ambulance begins to roll down the ramp to the ring. Morty the Mortician steps out of the driver’s seat, climbing into the ring with his Dark EMTs to assess the situation.~
Smith: I can’t believe we just saw a murder.
Hood: What the fuck, man! This was just supposed to be fun!
~Morty the Mortician and the EMTs load Scott onto a pinewood stretcher, carrying him over the ropes and setting the cart down on the concrete floor below. As soon as the wheels hit the floor, all nine judges weigh in that Great Scott has officially been eliminated. The bell rings, and “Please Don’t Make Us Take This Show Down” referee Kermit the Frog half raises Skittlez’s hand, giving him the OCW XFACTOR CHAMPIONSHIP. He begins to celebrate in the ring, proud to have won the newest OCW title~
Belvedere: ...h...HERE IS… YOUR… YOUR WINNER…. AND NEWWWWW….
~Belvedere stops to swallow his own vomit, looking at the floor and holding up a finger as he sees the trail of blood leading out of the ring and toward the Pinewood Ambulance~
Belvedere: ...AND NEW XFACTOR CHAMPION… SKIIIIIIIITTLLLLEEEZZZZZ!
~At ringside, Great Bear is openly weeping. The crowd is doing the MOURNING SCOTT. We have seen the death of a hero here tonight with the crowning of our first XFactor Championship, but though he may have left this mortal coil, we will always remember the--~
Smith: WAIT! HE’S ALIVE!
Hood: Fuck.
~From the gurney, Scott meekly raises one arm, flashing a weak thumbs up to the crowd as he’s loaded into the back of the Pinewood Ambulance. The crowd is left wondering what the fuck just happened, as Skittlez climbs up onto the turnbuckle, holding his new belt high in the air. Vague police sirens in the distance, perhaps unrelated, as OCW Monday Night Massacre goes off the air.~