OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, May 13th 2019
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Darkness consumes the area. A figure skulks through the indiscernible area. There is a tense aura in the air. This shit is SERIOUS. It’s…dare I say – DRAMATIC. The figure seems to be creeping up on a tiny light…the most insignificant of lights. A light it hopes to put out for ALL ETERNITY. Then, it happens. BANG! “FUCK!” The lights turn on, and the figure reaches for his hip. “That’s what I get for creeping around the dark trying to make this week’s opening serious and dramatic. Son of a bitch.” The guy reaches over and grabs the light; it’s merely a dying luminous cube found in overpriced, poolside beverages meant to woo the financially naïve. Palming the cube, we hear a click as his thumb does its job to preserve what life is left just in case…just in case the company of a woman enters his abode at some point in the near future. He opens the fridge and lets out a sigh…another Monday in life’s rear view. The man snares a bottle of STONE IPA…he turns and winks at us before grabbing some Line and Chile ¡Chicharrones! He takes a seat on the couch and locates HOTv! It’s time for Monday Night Massacre grappling. He turns and looks at the camera “Boy I hope my favorite Jason Kortare wins tonight!” We decide to postpone the man’s disappointment. The Massacre logo flashes…it fades into the sold-out OCW Arena full of screaming fans! We cut directly to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always is Hood! Tonight we’ve got some exciting in-ring action!
Hood: Considering we’re a pro wrestling organization that is certainly good to hear, Smith.
Smith: The eMpire…all three members are back in action! Mike Best takes on Jason Kortare…Cecilworth…
Hood: M!
Smith: Farthington looks to survive the monster known as Myst. And, Max Kael faces the #1 Contender to the Savage Championship, Ehud of Moab.
Hood: What a joke.
Smith: We’ll also see the debuts of two very talented signings when Lilith and –
Hood: GREAT SCOTT
Smith: Logan step inside an OCW ring!
Hood: Don’t sleep on Great Scott. Rumor is he’s great.
Smith: Chastity Temple, winner of her first two matches will take on OCW’s fastest rising star, Evin Empire.
Hood: You think Evin ever feels like he’s running in place? All the guy does is win and all he ever gets are…more singles matches.
Smith: He’s got his shot at Andrea Hernandez in a few weeks, Hood. And, finally, in tonight’s Main Event we will see Hayley Robinson challenge the undefeated Paradigm Champion, Kitty Petrova.
Hood: I’d label this edition of Massacre something cringey like ‘ladies night’ but in OCW we don’t have gender-specific themes designed to demean.
Smith: Indeed…it’s WRESTER’S night EVERY night here in OCW!
Smith: Uh oh!
Hood: He’s back…AGAIN?
Smith: We haven’t seen Lurrr since that epic Main Event match at Block Party! I’m sure he’s got a lot on his mind…we all know Lurrr doesn’t like to lose.
I used to be broke, confused..no joke
~Lurrr struts down the ramp with the OCW Hall of Fame Championship draped over his left shoulder. He stops for a second as he sees a sign that reads "The eMpire runs OCW." He stares at the fan and has a good laugh and then immediately flicks the fan off mocking him for his love affair with the outsider group. This gets a loud pop from the OCW crowd. He then continues his strut towards the ring asking for a mic before he hops into the ring. As Lurrr climbs into the ring he poses showing off his Hall of Fame title and the crowd loves it~
Lurrr: Wow what a night we had a couple weeks ago!!!
~The crowd begins to chant you still got it, you still got it, you still got it~
Lurrr: There was never a doubt that I still had it!!! I continue to prove to everyone that I am still the Main Event, the one true ICON of the OCW no matter what others are trying to claim. When I came back a few months ago I promised you would get the same old Lurrr and this company would have to start paying attention again. I found myself back intot he spotlight and main eventing an OCW PPV once again.
~Lurrr pauses to gather his thoughts before he continues~
Lurrr: Now it didn't finish the way I would have liked but them's the breaks. I was banged up and I couldn't finish off James Raven who came out on top to win the OCW Title shot that I wanted so badly. Because even though I am the only 3-time OCW Champion... 4-time OCW Champion has a better ring to to it, it just rolls of the tongue easier. So what's next for me you are all probably wondering? I called up OCW Management and they couldn't give me an answer so I thought I would just hijacked the start of Massacre and just sit int his ring until one of those spineless cocksuckers has the gall to show their face and give me an answer. Because I promise you one thing I am not done, not even close! All Block Party did for me was fuel me with more desire to finish my ascent to the top of the OCW mountain once again.
~The OCW crwod goes nuts in anticipation of future Lurrr matches~
Lurrr: So I don't care who it is... Marcus Welsh.... Mike Zybala... fuck if you wanna bring Hood into the ring I don't give a shit but somebody better answer me or you can kiss your Paradigm Championship match goodbye cause I will just sit int his ring and you can stare at my pretty face all night....
Got used, smoked dope, paid dues
Refused to give up quick,
Now theres 10 million motherfuckers on my dick
~The crowd cheers as 'The Marvel' Matt Meyhu steps out onto the ramp with a smirk on his face and stares toward the ring at Lurrr. With a microphone in his hand, he makes his way down to the ring and slides in, meeting the three time OCW champion face to face. His music fades out.~
Matt Meyhu: Well, well, well... We meet again! Ask, and you shall receive. Not under ideal circumstances, I suppose... Block Party obviously didn't end the way either one of us wanted.
~The crowd boos for a moment as Meyhu nods along with them.~
Matt Meyhu: But that's just where our similarities begin. I know that you know, we aren't very different. At different points in time, we carried this place. We're both humongous stars in this company!
~The fans begin to cheer.~
Matt Meyhu: We're both multi-time OCW Champions!
~The cheers get a little louder. Meyhu inches closer to Lurrr.~
Matt Meyhu: And we're both Hall of Famers.
~The crowd erupts as Meyhu taps on the belt draped over Lurrr's shoulder.~
Matt Meyhu: We both also have a little unfinished business with each other. We've been destined to meet each other in this ring. You know it, I know it, they know it. And sure, we're both coming off of failed attempts at grabbing the OCW Championship yet again, but that doesn't mean we can't settle this for a little gold...
~Lurrr begins to grin from ear to ear. He looks out to the OCW crowd hearing their cheers~
Lurrr: The Marvel huh? You know over the last couple years while I was sitting at home all I heard about was this great megastar named The Marvel Matt Meyhu. All of the wrestling world was abuzz by this ego driven maniac who performed at the highest level week in and week out. I sat back and said man that sounds a whole like somebody else I knew. But of course that other guy being me did it a whole lot better.
~The crowd seems 50-50 on their reaction to that statement~
Lurrr: So then I had a little thought creep up into my head and thought maybe I needed to come back and show the youngin a thing or two about being THE GUY in this company. There is no doubt that while I have been away you have carried the torch but the fact of the matter is you haven't stood across the ring and came up against a guy like me. You see this strap right here...
~Lurrr holds up his Hall of Fame Title pointing to it~
Lurrr: This is the benchmark in our business bud. To be enshrined into the Hall of Fame is an accomplishment on it's own but to hold this championship means you can continue to set the standard for years to come. And son I don't know if you are ready to live up to those standards.
~The crowd no longer sounds 50-50 as they boo loudly~
Lurrr: But when I came back it was for one reason and that was to stand toe to toe with The Marvel and look him square in the eye and tell him he wasn't as good as me. It took a while for our paths to finally cross but now that time has come. So that leaves us with only one thing to do. June 17th in my home state there is a little event called Not Safe For Work... why don't I go ahead and prove to you first hand why you aren't as good as me. And why don't we each put up something we treasure... I will put my Hall of Fame Title on the line.... and you know what I want when I beat you...if you have the balls to risk it?
~Meyhu chuckles as his eyes lock on the title. He nods at Lurrr. ~
Matt Meyhu: For the last year, this place has been all about Matt Meyhu. People come from around the world to face me... You're back here because of me! Some guys left because they couldn't beat me. Some were afraid I'd never lose. I've been living above those standards. Don't you worry about me being ready.
~The smirk fades from Meyhu's face.~
Matt Meyhu: I've been waiting for this moment a long time. The moment where I get to definitively prove who the best in OCW really is. I don't care if it's in your home state or in your own back yard. The match that needs to happen is Lurrr versus Matt Meyhu. Am I right?
~The fans go crazy once again as the two men stare each other down~
Matt Meyhu: I know exactly what you're after... At Not Safe For Work, if you beat me, that title shot I've been promised is all yours. I won't deserve it anymore. You want the chance to become a four time champion, it's all yours... As long as you can really beat me.
Lurrr: Then on June 17th I will remind this entire company who the best in OCW history truly is. Come hell or high water I guarantee that I am going to hit you so hard with a Wake Up Call that you won’t remember what you had for lunch that day. And to all of the OCW fans...take notice that on May 13th, 2019 “The Marvel” committed career suicide...
~Lurrr grins, drops his mic, and slowly backs away from Meyhu happy with what is now at stake~
Smith: Lurrr and Matt Meyhu...squaring off at Not Safe For Work...what a match!
Hood: I hate saying shit like this...but it's a fucking Dream Match, man
Smith: Indeed...Lurrr's Hall of Fame Championship is on the line. Meyhu's OCW Title shot is on the line...the stakes couldn't be any higher!
Hood: It's about time Lurrr defended that Hall of Fame title...it's only been, what, FOUR years?
Smith: 2015 at Hood Rich against...Scott Syren.
Hood: Yea, long ass time.
Smith: We've got Mike Best and James Raven...now we've got Matt Meyhu taking on Lurrr...those two have a combined FIVE OCW Title reigns...Not Safe For Work is shaping up to be the greatest event in company history!
Hood: Yea and we still don't know who Farthington is facing!
Smith: Oh quiet about the man with the fictitious middle name!
Hood: I'm just saying!
Smith: A historic announcement to kick off tonight's show! Our opening match is just around the corner but first an advertisement for the very network on which we air - HOTv!
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Singles Match
Logan (0-0) vs. Great Scott (0-0)
~It’s the opening match of the night! The fans are still reeling from last night’s Game of Thrones. What happened? Well, considering it’s currently Wednesday as I’m typing this up I cannot say…but rest assured, it will have people talking! Belvedere stands in the ring, mic in hand…he is ready to go. The fans start to cheer, eager for the in-ring festivities to get underway~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the opening contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The fans all look around like ‘what the fuck IS this shit?’ Great Scott emerges from behind the curtain. His feet are shuffling in rhythm with the song as he makes his way down the ramp. He makes sure to inform any fan within earshot that he’s the greatest. He slides into the ring and pops to his feet. His feathery, anachronistic mullet is looking mighty fine~
Belvedere: From his 40 Story Mansion…the self-proclaimed greatest…Great Scott!!
~The fans give Great Scott a strong ovation. OCW fans have always been known to lean toward the weird and awkward. Scott yells out “I’M THE GREATEST! BOOGALOO!” Whatever that last word means~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The slow march of a drum roll hits the speakers carrying into "Treachery" by Bleach. Logan slowly steps out onto the entrance ramp to a chorus of boos. He stands at the top of the ramp, slowing looking around at the masses. He's wearing his signature attire, with a black leather sleeveless vest over it. Logan begins walking down the ramp, taking his time, every now and then pointing out to a member of the audience and talking trash to them. Logan hits ringside, climbing the ring steps, and getting inside the ring stepping through the middle rope. Logan climbs the nearest turnbuckle, gazes around at all the fans booing at him, and he raises his arm up into the air. After a moment, Logan finally steps down, taking off his vest and throwing it to the outside, and then paces the ring while the music fades~
Belvedere: From Chesapeake, Virginia standing 6’4 and weighing in at 250lbs…Logan!!
Smith: Getting our first look at Logan.
Hood: And Great Scott!
Smith: Yes, him as well.
Hood: Look, man…Great Scott lives in a 40 Story Mansion. It doesn’t get any greater than that!
~Belvedere exits and the bell sounds~
Smith: I did some research on…
Hood: Great Scott? Oh, tell me!
Smith: Logan. I researched Logan! The man has had a stellar career and is, in fact, considered a legend in some circles of this great profession.
Hood: Did you say GREAT?
Smith: Ugh, nevermind…Logan’s debut is taking place and I for one hope he is successful.
~Logan looks at Great Scott with gr-EXTREME disdain. Great Scott is hopping around, the party end of his mullet looking the part. Logan begins to stalk Great Scott. Great Scott lunges forward with a great lock up! Logan responds. The two men are tangled together, jockeying for position. Logan falls back and takes Scott over with an arm drag!! Scott pops to his feet arms in the air as though he’s won something~
Smith: This guy doesn’t realize Logan just took him down!
Hood: Maybe he LET Logan take him down…ever think about that? He is great, you know.
Smith: So I’ve heard.
~Logan looks at Scott like he might be on the spectrum. Scott holds his arms out like he wants to do it again. Logan is growing frustrated, although he’s doing a great job of trying to maintain his composure during his first impression with OCW. They lock up once more!! This time Logan’s hands are closer to Scott’s face. Scott looks down at Logan’s hands with concern…his eyes widen and he quickly breaks away. Logan stands in the center of the ring, confused~
Smith: What was that?
Hood: Great Scott is concerned that metal blades are going to shoot out of Logan’s hands.
Smith: Oh for Pete’s sake! Not everybody named Logan has metallic claws!
Hood: And just how do YOU know that?
Smith: Because I have a brain!
~Logan’s finally had enough. He goes straight for Great Scott. Great Scott bounces around, trying to keep some distance. Logan is proving to be far quicker than Scott had imagined. Scott turns to run but Logan grabs him by the party end of his mullet and pulls him to the ground! Scott hits hard! The fans BOOOO. Logan jams his foot right into Scott’s throat, looking down at his opponent with murderous hate~
Smith: Logan is a decorated competitor. He takes this seriously and is in there to best his opponent in a physically violent manner. Great Scott is not what he was expecting in his debut, I don’t think.
Hood: That’s what makes Scott great! You never see him coming!
Smith: If Logan can withstand this unique punch OCW has thrown his way then he will, I’m sure, receive a far more serious opponent next week.
Hood: Ah man but where’s the fun in that?!
~Scott kicks his feet, trying to pry Logan’s foot from his throat. Scruff comes over, counting to five…he hits CINCO and Logan is forced to lift his foot away. Scott rolls under the ropes, toward the apron. Logan heads right for him. Scott gets to his feet. Logan delivers a straight right hand into Scott’s head. Scott nearly flies off the apron but manages to hold onto the top rope with one hand. Logan drills Scott in the gut with a kick. Scott doubles over. Logan secures Scott’s head and pulls him into the ring, his feet propped atop the middle rope, looking for a DDT. Great Scott manages to get the base of his feet on the middle rope and he pushes forward! The momentum sends Logan falling backward, releasing Scott. Scott pops back to his feet. Logan sits up, growing in frustration. He returns to his feet and charges at Scott. Scott snares Logan and takes him down with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex~
Smith: Belly-to-Belly by Great Scott!
Hood: A belly-to-belly FROM HELL
Smith: What?
Hood: Hey, I’m just saying what I was told to say.
~Great Scott pops back to his feet! The fans chant “GREAT SCOTT!” He turns toward Logan and gives him the STARE FROM HELL. Logan rises, looking no worse for wear. He throws a clothesline at Scott ducks, grabs Logan by the head and drops him with the NECKBREAKER FROM HELL!!! Logan hits hard and reaches for his neck~
Smith: Tremendous neck-breaker by the…strange Great Scott.
Hood: NECKBREAKER FROM HELL!
Smith: Why do you keep saying that? What does the netherworld have to do with Great Scott?
Hood: Oh so NOW you’re curious about Great Scott. Too late, man, the bandwagon is already on the Oregon Trail.
~Logan sits up, holding his neck. Scott hits the ropes…he charges at Logan and dives toward him, legs first, looking to kick Logan in the face. Logan moves!!! Scott lands flat on his back! Logan pops back to his feet showing tremendous resiliency~
Smith: While not invincible Logan doesn’t mind a bit of pain.
Hood: Remember Sean Fuller? He COULDN’T feel pain.
Smith: Yes, I remember…he was crazy.
Hood: Total fucking nut job
~Great Scott returns to his feet slightly stunned. Logan delivers a vicious backhand chop!! Scott is rocked! He follows that up with a bionic elbow!!! Great Scott stumbles back, into the ropes…the pull of the ropes propel Scott forward. Logan hoists him up, spins around and drops him with a Spinebuster!!! Scott is down as Logan returns to his feet in full control~
Smith: And now we’re getting a glimpse of what Logan can do.
Hood: He talked mad shit about OCW…he thinks he’s better than us, Smith.
Smith: He’s got confidence, Hood. He’ll get his chance to prove it.
Hood: Yes, well, that’s true.
~Logan turns his back to Scott. He jumps, flat-footed, performing a complete backflip. While sticking the landing his right foot slams into Great Scott, right underneath the chin. Scott chokes, grabbing his throat in pain. Logan, on his feet, looks out into the crowd with more than a hint of arrogance. The fans boo this man, quickly realizing who and what he is~
Smith: Impressive athleticism shown there by Logan. This man is a player, Hood.
Hood: Like a Jersey Player? A video game player? Don’t tell me he’s a soccer player…
Smith: It’s a term indicating that he’s talented and will be a force here in OCW!
Hood: Oh, well then just say that. It’s not like we speak the same type of code up here.
Smith: Thank goodness for that.
~Great Scott fights to his feet. The fans are firmly behind him. Logan watches with disdain as this…this…WEIRDO continues to hang on. Scott’s back is to Logan. Logan sneaks up behind, looking to slap a sleeper onto Scott’s head. Scott ducks!! Logan stumbles forward. Scott grabs Logan from behind and drops him with a German Suplex!!! He holds on, rotates his hips, gets back to his feet and drops him with another German Suplex!! The fans are going wild!! Scott swivels his hips, fights back to his feet and yells “I AM GREAT!” He lifts Logan up and drops him with a third German Suplex, bridging this one into a pin!! Scruff slides in~
1!
KICK OUT!
Smith: Logan kicked out after one!
Hood: Whoa…dude isn’t playing.
Smith: Nope, I think every move Great Scott hits on Logan only increases Logan’s anger.
Hood: Yea he’s not really hurting Logan…only pissing him off.
~Logan returns to his feet. Great Scott is back on his feet. He’s fired up! Logan maintains a focus that Great Scott cannot match. Scott charges at Logan with a lariat. Logan ducks and goes for what appears to be sling blade…but, instead, he locks in a Sleeper~
Smith: Uh oh…Great Scott is in trouble.
Hood: Why? It’s a fucking sleeper…last guy to tap out to a sleeper had medically passed before the match was ruled over.
Smith: Did he die due to the sleeper?
Hood: No, he was like 80-something…it was just his time.
~Logan has the sleeper locked in tight. Things are going normal – for the moment. Scott leans forward…he drops to one knee. Logan, while holding onto the sleeper, leaps over and violently snaps Scott’s neck!!! Great Scott’s body jerks backward! He hits the mat, unconscious. Logan makes the cover…the fans boo as Scruff counts the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…LOGAN!!!!!
Smith: And Logan secures his debut victory via his devastating finisher The Connector.
Hood: Man, Scott’s neck is fucked!
Smith: It was violently snapped. Good news for Scott is that he’s got a thick neck.
Hood: Yea but, man…it’s going to hurt to look up at all 40 stories of his mansion. That’s some real pain, man.
Smith: I guess. Anyway…great opener as Logan looks impressive in defeating Great Scott!
Smith: Not sure why Logan is sticking around here. Maybe he has something to say.
Hood: He just picked up a GREAT fuckin’ victory over Scott. I'd brag about that shit too.
~Logan drops down and rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope. Logan grabs a surprised Belvedere and yanks him off the steel chair he was sitting on.~
Smith: What the hell is Logan doing to Belvedere?!
~It's not so much Belvedere that Logan is after, but the steel chair that he was sitting on, which he has grabbed and rolled back into the ring with him. Logan holds the chair in his hand, eyeing Great Scott with awesome hatred as he watches him stagger back to his feet.~
Smith: He already won the match. What is he -
~The steel chair cracks off of Scott's skull and he goes down like a sack of nuts in Who'Re's mouth.~
Hood: GREAT chair shot!
~A gratifying grin washes over Logan's face as he stands over the fallen Scott to echoing boos. He looks around at the booing audience, then raises the chair up over his head and crashes it down onto Great Scott's back. The Great Scott shouts out in pain, idly nursing his back with a limp arm.~
Smith: Someone stop this!
~He raises the chair up over his head and again Logan smacks the chair over Great Scott's back. And again. And again. And again. And again.~
Hood: Scott getting a GREAT chair fuckin’ here tonight.
Smith: He doesn't deserve this. Logan is a miserable bastard!
Hood: You saw all that trash Scott was talking on Twitter. It's time someone humbled his great ass.
~Finally the chair bends into the shape of Scott's back. Logan ceases the chair shots, leans down, slips Scott's leg into the broken chair.~
Smith: NO! NO! HE'S GOING TO BREAK HIS DAMN LEG!
~However, Logan stops, leaving a broken Great Scott with a chair wrapped around his shin. Logan signals over to the recently threatened Belvedere and signals for a microphone, who happily obliges. The audience boos heavily as Logan raises the microphone to his lips, so he tries to quiet them down.~
Logan: SHUT UP!
~This only of course invokes more booing.~
Logan: I said, SHUT UP!
Smith: They won't stop booing him, and quite frankly the bastard deserves it.
Logan: My name is Logan. I am the Face of Treachery and the best new star in OCW. SHUT UP! I don't deserve this. I SAID SHUT UP I DON'T DESERVE THIS YOU DUMB BOUDLES!
Hood: Damn this crowd is letting Logan have it. I can barely hear him.
Logan: You want to keep booing? You do? You don't? This is what happens when you keep booing the Face of Treachery?
~He sends a stiff stomp down onto the chair cradling Scott's leg.~
Logan: SHUT UP!
~Great Scott rolls over, clinching his leg in pain.~
Smith: Heartless bastard.
~John E. Depth along with a few other random jobbers run out from backstage and start heading down the ramp towards the ring. The audience pops!~
Hood: Never thought I'd hear those boys get that big of a reaction.
Smith: It's about time someone put a stop to this!
~Logan's eyes go wide and he drops the mic, rolling out of the ring, and high tailing it through the audience by jumping over the barrier. John Depth checks on Scott's condition.~
Smith: Logan is a damn coward!
Hood: Easy. John has a win, and he might get another one tonight over Lilith. Never underestimate the king of jobbers.
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Smith: Get them while they are…well, there.
Hood: Did he say 29.99? Think I ca get a discount on that…like an employee discount?
Smith: I doubt it, Hood. Only ALICE offers discounted items.
Hood: Yuck
Smith: Well folks we’ve seen one successful debut now it’s time to see if Lilith can follow suit! Her in-ring return/debut is up next!
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Lilith (0-0) vs. John E Depth (1-3)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…The following match is your opening match of the evening, and it is scheduled for one fall!
Fans: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…
~”Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang hits. The crowd boos when they see Depth appear from backstage, thought there is a smattering of cheers. He’s all oiled up and ready for action! He’s wearing a new shirt that says “BOOBY-PLEX!” He rushes down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He pops to his feet and mimes like he’s ‘filming’ something with his hands~
Belvedere: From Hollywood, California…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 230lbs…John E Depth!
~The fans boo, but Depth focuses on the ones cheering him, specifically the ones holding up signs that say "BOOBY-PLEX" "King of Dong Style" and "CLAM SLAM" Depth had won over the degenerates of our audience. He makes lude gestures towards some of the ladies in the crowd, which causes the smart fans go boo louder.~
Smith: Another new T-shirt??? Why?! Especially of such a lude act?!?!?!
Hood: Because sex sells, Smith. Sex sells. And Depth sells sex.
Smith: Not if he keeps hanging with Chasity Temple.
Hood: Why must bitches ruin everything fun?
Belvedere: And his opponent.....
~The house lights go down as colorful lights start flashing all around the area. "Imaginary" by Evanescence begins to play, as Lilith appears at the top of the entrance ramp. She is wearing a black miniskirt, burgundy leggings, an extremely tight low cut tank top and black leather heeled ankle boots. Lilith proceeds to skips down to the ring holding a giant lollypop in one hand and a teddy bear in the other. The crowd look on confused but begin to boo her despite the fact that she looks so cheerful~
Belvedere: From Los Angeles, California… weighing in at 142 pounds.... she is LILITH!!!
~Lilith eventually reaches the ring and locates a child sitting front row, she passes him the giant lollypop. Lilith then skips around the outside of the ring, placing her teddy bear on the turnbuckle and bounces up onto the ring apron, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses to them all. She climbs through the ropes still smiling and waving to everyone whilst waiting for the match to begin. ~
Smith: Well, that was an interesting entrance...
Hood: The best entrance ever! I'm gonna YouTube it later when I get home to watch it again.
Smith: I don't want to know.
Hood: Happy pants feelings, Smith.
Smith: I said I didn't want to know.
Hood: My pants are fitting tighter.
Smith: Stop!
Hood: I'm gonna jer...
Smith: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Hood:.......woah dude.
~We go back to the ring were Scruff has just got done checking Depth and removes his gloves. He goes to check Lilith, ogling her a bit whilst doing so, then calls for the bell when he finishes his examination. Lilith walks towards a leering, grinning Depth~
Hood:........can I call the match?
Smith: Fine, but keep your perverted comments to yourself.
Hood: Can do. Though, with Lilith's entrance and her dressed like that, was the "King of Dong Style" really a good idea for her first opponent?
Smith: I agree. He's going to be extra sleazy tonight, I feel.
~Static begins to fill the feed, cutting off the commentary team. A scrambled voice is heard speaking while a feint outline of the action in the ring can still be seen~
Voice: ...this is a message to those who still believe in justice...
~Depth holds up his hands and starts talking to Lilith. She's seems confused at first, but the more Depth talks and makes weird, but lude hand gestures, Lilith's face goes from confusion, to shock, to anger. As Depth continues talking and making hand movements like he's filming something; Lilith cocks back a fist and punches Depth right between the eyes. Depth stumbles back seeing stars and Lilith continues her attack. She starts peppering Depth's face and body with rapid palm strikes. It's almost like watching E. Honda from the "Street Fighter" franchise. When she connects with her last hit, Lilith grabs Depth by the back of the head, and leaps up to drive her knee into Depth's jaw! Depth stumbles back and falls against the ropes~
Voice: ...you have seen me as a shadow in the sea...
~Depth comes back from the ropes, side steps Lilith, and gets behind her. He grins that grin we all know and loath, and shouts "BOOBY-PLEX!" Lilith must have studied the tapes of Depth's old matches, because she has her hands up to block John's, grabs his fingers and bends them backwards. Depth yells out in pain and pulls his arms back, and thanks to his body oil, he's hands slip from Lilith's. He shakes his fingers to get rid of the pain and Lilith continues her attack. She grabs Depth's head and sinches in a headlock. Scruff gets in to check if it's legal and gives a thumbs up. Lilith cranks and squeezes on Depth's head like she's trying to crush it like a melon. Depth grabs Lilith's arms and tries to pull them off his head, but she has a solid grip~
Voice: ...my face are none and yet many...i am represent those who are not represented, those who have nobody to speak for them...
Voice: ...for too long those with power have abused it, they have oppressed those who do not...i am here for them, to take from those who have and give back to those who have been taken from...
~Lilith, still squeezing with her left arm, raises her right hand and face palms Depth and starts squeezing his face with the Death Grip! She is digging her nails in as Depth screams in pain. Slowly fading and running out of options, Depth uses his last resort! With a mighty yell, he screams "CLAM SLAM" and grabs Lilith by her.... private area. The fans boo loudly, though the Depth fans cheer. Scruff doesn't know what to do~
Voice: ...i am the forgotten...
~As quickly as it began, the intrusion ends, and we return to our typical high-quality feed of Monday Night Massacre.
Smith: What was that?
Hood: I don't know...but the voice apparently wants to be remembered by being forgotten?
Smith: That makes no sense.
Hood: Hey, don't look at me I'm just out there!
~Lilith releases her grip on Depth's head and looks down to see his hand firmly grabbing her..... "special place." Depth ignores the look of pure rage as he tries to lift her up, but is unsuccessful. I mean, have you ever tried lifting a whole person with just one hand, especially by the crotch? It's hard. Anyways, Lilith swings her hand forward and grabs Depth's "leading role" with The Bitch Grip! Nobody has any clue what to do has these two competitors are grabbing the others private area. Lilith then takes her free hand and places it on Depth's head once again! Depth starts the scream in agony as he is caught in a combination of the Death Grip and the Bitch Grip. He releases Lilith's crotch and tries to pull her hands aways, but she has a firm grip. Depth falls to his knees, shrieking in an ungodly high pitched octave when he finally taps out! Scruff calls for the bell and Lilith releases both holds. Depth falls to the mat, holding his balls, curled up in the fetal position.~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...... LILITH!
Smith: What the hell did we just witness?
Hood: I'll tell you. We saw the most decisive win in OCW history! John E. won't be filming anything for quite awhile.
Smith: You said it partner. Hold on... I just received word that.... Yes, there will be a company wide, mandatory sexual harassment meeting this Thursday!
Hood: Mother Fucker!
~Massacre immediately cuts backstage, following Cecilworth on his journey to the backstage area, he leans up against a nearby table, he chugs a large bottle of water. He grabs himself a neck towel and wraps it all around him tightly as if it were a comfort blanket, looking completely exhausted and bruised after his battling match with the much larger Myst man~
Farthington: THAT MAN IS NO JOKE! HE IS TALL AND POWERFUL AND SCARY AND TALL! Plus he has a Monk. I don’t have a Monk. I have a Durango but I don’t have a Monk. I also have a ghost but he doesn’t want to travel to Key West.
~Cecilworth declares to no one in particular as various stage hands roll boxes around the joint. Suddenly though, as if a gift from the Gods himself, Cecilworth catches eye of something beautiful, something unspeakably brilliant, something that just is beyond human comprehension…~
~Cecilworth, eyes a-widened slowly walks towards THE DUCK in its very protective case. The specialist with the big pew pew guns instruct Cecilworth to keep a safe distance away from the duck as they are under strict~
~Cecilworth walks ever closer to it.~
Farthington: This duck. It is a nice duck. I shall have it, USING MONEY!
~From the ether, Cecilworth produces a wad of five dollar notes and throws it towards the case holding said THE DUCK~
~Nothing happens. One of the security entourage kicks the wad out of the way and issues CMF with a warning~
Farthington: You play a hard game duck, but I will find a way, oh yes. You will be mine
Smith: I'd almost forgotten about the duck
Hood: How could you forget about the nicest duck in all the land?
Smith: Oh, I don't know...because more important stuff is constantly happening while we are on air?
Hood: You besmirch the duck!
Smith: Hopefully management gives Farthington that duck so we can be rid of it!
Hood: Now we're on the same page!
Smith: Anyway, enough with the foolishness...let's head backstage for a word with wrestling superstar - Noah Hanson
~We see backstage interviewer Who're standing backstage with a not so bright look on her face. Ya know like she isn't really sure if she is where she is supposed to be but no one has really told her to do anything so there ya go. But she spots World Wrestling Headquarters World Champion Noah Hanson walking with a passion and nearly power walks right past the buxom blonde but you know big rack, blonde and tan Noah HAD to stop~
Noah Hanson: (sheepishly grinning) Hey doll lose something?
Who're: I was waiting to for something but I think I might have forgotten what it was. You wanna be interviewed?
Noah Hanson: Slow down doll we can get to that later...(smiling slyly) you can “interview” me all you want. What's the name to go with this beautiful face?
Who're: Who're....
Noah Hanson: Not what the guys backstage call you or maybe the girls around here call you that but that is more of self asteem issue. I mean what is your name?
Who're: My name Who're....
Noah Hanson: (sighing) Ok let's look at this from another view. What does it say on your paycheck when Welsh pays you?
Who're: Who're...
Noah Hanson: (seemingly frustrated) Ok well this has been fun but you know what I think we need to move on. See a few weeks ago when I was here last I lost my first round match against Hall of Famer Curt Canon, shit I don't have a problem with losing to Canon he fought me tooth and nail. If anything I dishonored the man by my actions after the match.
Who're: Well you did attack the man and the fans probably aren't going to be real happy with you.
Noah: You think I give two shits about what the fans think of me? See I've been doing this for a long time, long enough to know the fans are the absolute worst thing and the best thing about this business. See the fans are what drives us to come to the shows, they buy the tickets, the videos, they take pictures, buy the merchandise and they follow us on Twitter. Sometimes they even idolize you and in extreme cases it is borderline stalkerish. But then you have the flip-side of that coin, you have the fans that can't take no for an answer, the ones that hound you like the paparazzi, they almost most think they deserve to see everything you do in every moment of your life, In a lot of ways the fans are your judge, jury and executioners in this business.
Who're: But that is why you do all of this, for the fans right?
Noah: (smirks at the remark) I used to sure, I'd do whatever I could to please the fans I am sure Canon did as well and that is why he deserved better than what I did to him. And that is why I am here well part of the reason why I am here he deserves to hear me say it live on OCW TV...
Who're: Also on the HOW network on shows....
Noah: (cracking his neck at the mention of HOW) Excuse me?
Who're: This is also broadcasting on the HOW networks...
Noah: (acting like he is about to throw up) Sorry hearing that name makes me queasy....you got any Tums?
Who're: No but continue...
Noah: (Acting like he is chewing it down) See the thing is that when I was having my little meltdown I was confronted by someone I know VERY well. Someone that I trusted, someone that I have drove from show to show with in the past. The man I considered to be family, a man that has been in my home, ate dinner with me and Vixen and someone that I have gotten drunk with. I am talking about Darin Zion...
Who're: Well he was trying to stop you from hurting Canon any worse than you already had, he was saving both you and Canon.
~Noah smirks slightly and then waves a finger at the blonde bombshell in disbelief.~
Noah: No....that is NOT how Darin works these days. See the man is cold and calculating. He has spent to many years working in places like High Octane Wrestling and Four Corners Wrestling. See he used to be a man of honor, a man that you could trust to fight you face to face, to look you in the eyes and say “STOP” but the man jumped me from behind, he got into MY business.
Who're: Don't you see what he was trying to do?
Noah: All I see is a man that is desperate for attention, someone that was “retired” but couldn't handle the corner office he had at whatever none to five job he was working. He saw that Noah Hanson the man that MADE him, the man that got him noticed, the man that took him under his wings was still striving and thriving while he took his toys and walked away from the playground. But you know what happened?
~Who're shrugs her shoulders.~
Noah: HOW opened again, just like Pro Wrestling X back in the day Lee Best is doing to his best to channel the ghost of PWX in the vessel of High Octane Wrestling. And just like when PWX would open and close like a god damn trap door of wrestling Darin Zion has went back again. He grabbed his balls, put them in his purse and handed it over to Lee so that he could get back in the game once again. See that is where this all begins, just like in Pet Semetary what is dead should stay dead and that goes even more so when we talk about closed feds. They need to stay closed because you get all these clowns that come out of the woodwork for “ONE MORE RUN OF GLORY”. Zion you should have stayed at Staples and out of my business. Let me make this perfectly clear Darin, one of the first lessons I ever taught you when you were a part of Sex and Money was respect for the business, yourself and the people around you.
~Noah shakes his head.~
Noah: See I thought I got that lesson to stick, cause you have certainly not respected the business at least not your history in this business. You've went running back to a place that dragged the legacy that we built in PWX and all of you so called PWXers have shit all over that legacy and it disgusts me. You failed PWX, you failed John Oleson just like Redefine did with the Tribute show. But you guys go ahead keep running back to that place, keep tucking your balls between your legs and getting the “I like balls in my face” tramp stamp when that place reopens again and again. Just know this I don't care when this match happens just know that I am going to re-educate you on the lesson that you have seemed to have forgotten...RESPECT....
~Noah grabs the camera and pulls it close.~
Noah: See you soon buddy....
Smith: Noah Hanson back on OCW television issuing the challenge to Darin Zion!
Hood: Yea man Zion attacked him awhile back...I guess it's time to atone.
Smith: Indeed...I'm being told these two will square off NEXT WEEK
Hood: Now there's a match!
Smith: Indeed! Well fans you saw him earlier throw money at a duck...in just a few moments Farthington will return to the ring to face Myst.
Hood: I'm worried for the finest lad within the eMpire. Myst is big and scary and big.
Smith: You said big twice.
Hood: He's big.
Smith: Expert analysis as always...let's head down to ringside for what should be an exciting encounter!
|
|
Singles Match
Myst (5-2) vs. Cecilworth M! Farthington (3-1)
~There’s an empirical vibe permeating throughout the OCW Arena. That can mean one thing and one thing only…the eMpire is about to appear! Belvedere stands in the ring looking very stern – very serious. He clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~Billy Ocean’s delightful voice beckons forth the man known as Cecilworth Farthington, attired with the finest of towels draped across his neck. "The Money" behind The eMpire bounces out jubilantly from the back to the stage with a smile a mile wide. He stretches out his arms and spins around in sheer joy at the clear non-existent adulation being doled out by the crowd while being careful to ensure not a single inch of his beautiful skin is caressed by any of their pauper hand~
~Convinced he is the most adored man in OCW history, Cecilworth leaps up on the ring apron and looks out into a very unimpressed audience, blowing out kisses and giving a regal wave to his subjects, soaking in the nothingness provided back to him. He leaps into the ring and rushes over to the referee to give him a polite handshake, handing a signed photograph of himself over in the process. He repeats this process to a very confused Belvedere, uncertain why this event keeps repeating itself~
Belvedere: From a certain place located on this planet that isn’t known as ‘the blue part’ on a map…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 13.5 Stone..Cecilworth M! Farthington!!
Smith: And the man known as the ‘money’ of the eMpire is back inside an OCW ring!
Hood: You act like he left…dude’s here every week!
Smith: You know what I’m saying…we haven’t seen him compete since Block Party.
Hood: TWO WEEKS AGO
Smith: Feels longer than that to me.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The sound of hissing steam pipes through the speakers as a slow rolling wave of smoke begins to creep out from the ramp like the tide rolling in from the ocean. The arena feigns darkness with a dim blue glow emitting from the lights. Out walks a small hunched over man in white robes carrying a small dirty silver lantern in which a similar blue light is shining. He paves a way through the thickening fog and stops atop the entrance ramp and turns back with the lantern ahead of him. Out to the ramp walks a giant 6'11" being with long silver hair flowing around a white mask lined with 3 diagonal black stripes that wraps around the contours of his face. His long white wrestling singlet has a single black strap that cuts across his bulking upper body. As soon as the monster appears, the small monk turns back towards the ring and slowly leads Myst towards the ring. As they get closer, smoke begins to pour out from under the ring and engulf the apron and stairs. The monk stops ringside and sweeps the lantern in a motion across his body from Myst towards the ring. Myst, who has stopped a few feet from ringside walks near and begins his slow ascent up the stairs towards the turnbuckle. He easily steps over the top rope and enters the ring that is slowly attracting a shallow covering of smoke. He looks over to the monk who extinguishes the dim blue light from the lantern as the lights raise back to normal~
Belvedere: From The Congo…standing 6’11 and weighing in at 345lbs…Myst!!!
Smith: Myst has very quietly put together a strong record since joining OCW.
Hood: Yea he feels like a newcomer, but the guy has a record good enough to contend for some belts.
Smith: I’d agree. This is a big opportunity for Myst…remember, he’s yet to be pinned in his OCW career.
~The bell sounds. Belvedere exits the ring. CMF is still sporting the finest towels you’ve ever seen around his neck. Myst has his head pointed right in CMF’s direction. It’s hard to tell if he’s looking at M! due to the mask…but we’re going to assume that he is~
Smith: Farthington needs to ditch the towels.
Hood: Why? They are made of the finest cloth, Smith. Cloth so fine scientists have yet to come up with a name for them.
Smith: I don’t believe that.
Hood: So you’re saying you don’t believe in science? Wow.
~CMF carefully removes his towels, draping them over the metal bar which connects the top buckle to the post. He ensures that they are stable before turning around to face Myst. Myst begins to stalk CMF. CMF is quick on his feet, realizing he’s got to use every advantage he owns against the larger, stronger, maskier man~
Smith: He might seem like a dullard but rest assured he is no dolt.
Hood: The fuck?
Smith: He’s not as stupid as he comes off.
Hood: Oh, yes, totally
~Myst gives chase. CMF is too quick. Myst picks up the pace…he shows a few quick bursts here and there, hoping to catch CMF asleep. But, they do not work. CMF is too quick for the larger man. Myst finally comes to a stop, frustrated. CMF hops around…he does some jumping jacks. The fans boo. Myst turns and notices he’s standing in CMF’s corner. He reaches for the towels~
Smith: Uh oh
Hood: Not the precious towels!
Smith: They’re just towels! If you ask me, they look to have been lifted from the local Holiday Inn.
Hood: CMF should sue you for slander!!
~Myst grabs the towels and THROWS THEM into the crowd!! Fans leap up and grab the towels. One holds it to her cheek saying “Oh wow, this is really nice.” Another rubs it back and forth between his crotch. CMF is appalled! He charges at Myst, losing all concept of awareness. Myst turns, ready for the incoming attack. CMF jumps into the air…Myst grabs him by the throat!! Myst turns around and slams CMF into the corner. He unleashes lefts and rights into CMF’s head and body!! CMF’s body bounces around after each corresponding blow! Myst rears back and delivers a huge thrusting uppercut!! CMF flips over the top rope, in the corner, and lands hard on the apron! Somehow, he manages to remain on the apron. He appears to be in quite a bit of pain~
Smith: Myst just went OFF on CMF!
Hood: WEAK ASS TOWELING
Smith: It’s amazing what a man will do with a new towel versus a woman.
Hood: Hey are you generalizing genders? ARE YOU?
Smith: Not at all!
Hood: Don’t put gender in a corner!
~Myst reaches over the top rope, grabbing CMF by the hair. He yanks him to his feet…he’s leaning almost over the corner. CMF struggles to his feet…he reaches up, grabbing Myst by the back of the head and jumps off the apron, raking Myst’s throat across the top rope!!! Myst stumbles back. CMF hurries back onto the apron – time is of the essence. He leaps up, springboards off the top rope and comes crashing down onto Myst’s head with a double axe handle!!! The behemoth stumbles around, refusing to fall~
Smith: Great barrage of offense by Farthington…Myst, however, refuses to capitulate!
Hood: He’s from the congo, Smith. That means he fights ancient gorillas within Solomon’s mine!
Smith: No, that was a terribly adapted movie.
Hood: Hey! Nothing with the GREAT Tim Curry is terrible!
~CMF takes off and hits the ropes…he flies at Myst, nailing him with a European uppercut!! Myst staggers backward. CMF runs and hits the ropes again…he hits another European uppercut!! Myst staggers into the ropes…he sways back against them. CMF fires up and hits the ropes…he bounces off and goes for a third European uppercut…this time, however, Myst extends his hand and grabs CMF by the throat! He lifts CMF for a chokeslam. CMF manages to jam a finger into one of the eyeholes of Myst’s mask! Myst loses his grip…CMF spins around and latches onto Myst’s back with a sleeper hold~
Smith: That dang Farthington!
Hood: Hey, if Myst doesn’t want to get poked in the eye then he should cover up those holes.
Smith: Then he’d be blind!
Hood: Full of excuses! Classic masked wrestler
~Myst stumbles toward a corner, looking to crush CMF. CMF releases the hold, realizing what’s about to happen. He propels upward, finding himself on Myst’s shoulders in the Electric Chair position!! He looks around, concerned. Myst locks his legs down, keeping CMF from moving. Myst turns around and falls forward, onto his knees. CMF’s head SLAMS into the top buckle!! He falls backward, rolling over his head before coming to rest front first on the mat. Myst rises to his feet~
Smith: And CMF has been caught.
Hood: Fuck me! After all those knees he took from Paras…do we really need to be slamming his head into things?
Smith: Its competition, Hood. Myst is trying to notch the biggest win of his OCW career.
Hood: Yes but this match isn't’ about Myst! It’s about M! M!M!M!M!
~Myst grabs CMF by the back of the neck, yanking him off the canvas. The strength in this man’s body is amazing. He holds CMF in the air via one hand, by the back of his neck as though he were a puffy…or an adult PUG. CMF starts to come to, realizing the situation he’s in. He kicks his legs down, finding the canvas, some footing and, therefore, relieving the pressure on his neck. Myst still has a grip, however…CMF’s shoulders raise up, reacting to the pain. Myst continues to squeeze. CMF drops to his knees~
Smith: The pressure is paralyzing! If Myst can weaken this portion of Farthington’s body then it will trickle down and out to his limbs.
Hood: There’s a difference between Myst and Cecilworth.
Smith: Yes, there are several.
Hood: But a fundamental difference…Farthington is a technical GENTLEMAN…Myst, clearly, is not.
Smith: Okay
~Myst suddenly releases the hold and clobbers CMF in the back!!! CMF falls face first onto the mat. Myst stomps CMF’s back. He jerks CMF to his feet…grabbing the back of his neck once again. This time he releases and spins CMF around. He chops CMF across the chest!! CMF stumbles into the ropes. Myst charges forward with a big boot. CMF dives ahead, tucking and rolling. Myst’s leg gets hung up across the top rope. CMF pops to his feet and hustles over, grabbing the top rope and shaking it…Myst reaches for his groin in pain. CMF stops…he backs up, into the corner. He hops onto the middle buckle…he decides more room is needed. He gets to the top. He leaps off, grabs Myst by the head, spins around and drops him onto the apron with SLING BLADE!!! Myst hits hard!! The thud echoes throughout the OCW Arena!!! He remains on the apron..his left leg and arm dangling off the edge. CMF manages to grab the top rope to keep from falling to the floor. He leans against the steel ring post, standing atop the apron~
Smith: Wow! What athletic precision shown by Farthington!
Hood: He’s more than a comedy act, Smith.
Smith: We certainly saw that at Block Party.
Hood: Not to mention the way he decimated Osidius Rex! Basically ran “don’t confuse me with Tyrannosaurus” Rex out of the company!
~Farthington steps back in through the ropes. He sticks his foot into Myst and tries to push him off the apron, to the floor…perhaps seeking a count out. Myst starts to show signs of life, fighting back. CMF takes a few steps back…he hustles forward throw a downward kick through the ropes at Myst. Myst catches his leg and throws it back!! CMF stumbles. Myst sits up, on the apron and turns his head toward CMF. It’s clear via CMF’s eyes that he’s annoyed at a blown opportunity. He charges forward once again, throwing a knee at Myst’s head. Myst grabs his leg and stands!! He’s holding CMF’s leg while on the apron…CMF hops on one leg. CMF throws an enziguri…Myst catches the leg!! He drops off the apron and slingshots CMF into the top rope!!! CMF’s throat SLAMS into the top rope!! His body shoots backward…the back of his head slams into the mat! Myst steps up onto the apron before stepping back in, over the top rope~
Smith: Ouch…the neck of Farthington is taking a beating.
Hood: Good thing he’s got scarfs and towels to cover it up!
Smith: Well, yes…there’s truth to that I suppose.
Hood: There’s truth in everything I say, Smith.
Smith: Wrong
~Myst reaches down, grabbing CMF by the throat. CMF tries to resist but Myst’s strength is too much. Myst lifts CMF up for a chokeslam…CMF, though, manages to get free, grab Myst’s arm and take him over with Great Article 50!!!~
Smith: Farthington’s cross arm breaker!! He ruined Osidius Rex with this submission!
Hood: Yea, but it’s not in…fully.
Smith: Nope, he’s got to get that arm extended…and, well, Myst’s arm is the size of a tree trunk.
Hood: Hi, perbole
~CMF tries to stretch it out. Myst is on one knee. He fights back to his feet. CMF wrenches back…but Myst is too strong!! Myst lifts CMF up and throws him down into the mat!!! CMF gasps for air…the wind has been forcibly removed from his lungs. Myst gets his arm free. He shakes it, rubbing his shoulder. He goes back after CMF who continues to have trouble breathing. Myst grabs him by the throat…he picks him off the mat…lifts him up and throws him down with a chokeslam!! CMF continues to gasp for air~
Smith: Myst is relentless!
Hood: Cecilworth needs some air!! Get that man some air!
Smith: There’s plenty to be had in this arena.
Hood: You can really be a jerk when you want to be, can’t you?
Smith: I just don’t trust these eMpire men.
Hood: Even when they can’t fucking breathe?
Smith: Especially when they can’t breathe.
~Myst grabs CMF, pulling him up. He’s not fucking around. He clobbers CMF in the back. CMF doubles over. Myst hooks him~
Smith: Myst is looking for his Jackknife Powerbomb he calls The Cleanse!
Hood: Fuck! We need some help out here! Myst is about to fuck up the eMpire!
~Myst hoists CMF up!! He sends him down…CMF turns it into a Frankensteiner!!! CMF grabs Myst’s legs for a pin!!! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~Myst kicks out immediately after three!! CMF dives forward and rolls out of the ring~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…CECILWORTH M! FARTHINGTON!!!!!
Smith: Farthington stole this one!
Hood: Stole it? He WON it!
Smith: Myst had this!
~CMF reaches for his neck, wincing in pain. Myst sits up and turns his head toward CMF. CMF doesn’t notice. He holds his other arm up in triumph. The fans BOOO~
Smith: What’s he celebrating for? Myst beat him pillar to post!
Hood: Because he’s a WINNER
Smith: Ugh!
~CMF, while rubbing his sore neck, continues to celebrate. Myst reaches his feet and heads toward the ropes nearest CMF. CMF sees this, turns and walks up the ramp with a very quick pace. Myst steps over the top rope, hopping off the apron. CMF’s quick pace gets quicker and quicker until he’s walk-running through the curtain, to the back. Myst marches up the ramp with a purpose~
Smith: Myst isn’t happy…no doubt he’ll want a rematch at some point.
Hood: And why should he get one? Keep Myst away from the eMpire. He isn’t on their level…despite his obvious M.
Smith: You’re just afraid he’ll hurt them.
Hood: NO
~In the hallway outside of the locker room, a giant display case has been wheeled into place as it is portable. Inside the glass case being proudly displayed is the OCW Tag Team titles. Flanking the display case is two members of the secret service whose highly classified job is to guard the titles. Only the highest ranking of the SS are assigned this position.~
~Passing through minding her own business is Who’re. She walks by the case, the security without giving it a second thought, that is till someone calls her out on it.~
2600: Yup. Just keep walking Yamauchi Who’re.
~Who’re stops and looks up from her phone. Sitting kitty corner from the display case is Team ATARI, sitting at a bistro table with some hero subs in front of them, from Subway.~
Who’re: Excuse me?
2600: There is no excuse for you!
7800: Dilly.
2600: Thanks 7800.
~Who're then spots the case and the titles, all lite up in LED’s.~
Who’re: What is this?
7800: Dilly dilly.
~2600 laughs.~
Who’re: What did he say?
2600: My friend said that you know what you’re looking at, he can see the envy on your face.
Who’re: What?
2600: Look. How about you do your job for once and take that phone of yours, that microphone and the camera crew and go into that locker room and ask the Yamauchi Scumbags in there which two of them have the balls enough to step up to the plate and face us like the Yamauchi scum that they are, and challenge us for those…...I hope I am saying this correctly.
7800: Dilly dilly.
2600: I did practice 7800! Cheese and crackers, settle down! Sorry. We, Team ATARI, are looking for 2 Yamauchi scumbags to step forward and challenge for those, the OCW...tag...team….championships?
~2600 leans towards Who’re~
2600: That is the terminology those simple minded loafs in that room will understand, correct?
Who’re: Yes…..
2600: Good! It’s settled then! I! 2600! Member of Team ATARI! Leader the Freedom Fighters, savor of this planet earth! Along with the deadliest assassin in the world 7800! We officially appoint you, Who’re, in charge of the OCW tag team championship outreach camp. It is your job Who’re to find those under privilege Yamauchi warriors who haven’t had the pleasure of facing Team ATARI in battle. As you know at the Battle of NSFW, we will defend those belts in a friendly competition of skills. A battle to see who is the best team in all of OCW!
Who’re: What about the Dravers boys?
7800: DILLY DILLY!
~7800 then stands up the table and swipes his hero sub onto the floor and storms off. 2600 glances over his shoulder for a second, catching what 7800 just did and then looks at Who’re.~
2600: We didn’t hire you to be one of the Yamauchi working ladies and pimp yourself out to set up what will be perhaps the biggest rematch in the history of ATARI battles. We know what those Yamauchi Boys are up to, and we will have none of it! So fine Who’re! If you think that is what is best, then get to work. But! Know this! Even though those belts over there are no longer the Energon Device, doesn’t mean we will give them without a fight! Now if you excuse me, I have to find 7800 before something bad happens to those boys you love so much!
Who’re: I don’t love them, It was just a suggestion…whatever.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Team ATARI is ready to defend their tag team titles! The Dravers are the #1 Contenders...that match will take place in a few short weeks.
Hood: I don't really care for either team BUT...I will say it is nice to see actual TEAMS representing the tag team division.
Smith: On that point we most certainly agree!
~We return backstage where Max Kael can be seen pacing slowly in the private locker room of the eMpire, his lips purplish with bruises, the corners twisted into a sour frown. Sauntering on screen arrives a man wearing a golden turban, gold plated sunglasses and a colorful purple and gold plaid sports jacket holding one of Max’s customized Maxopotamian Microphones. The fist holding the microphone has a ring on each finger, all of them gold, gaudy and vaguely magical in nature~
Googly Moogley: Hellloooo OOOOOCCCC-DOUBLEU! The GREAT GOOOOOOGLY MOOGLEY Hah-ha! And I am without a doubt the Number ONE Manager in the state of Georgia, sweet Georgia. Now in Florida I am still technically number one but.. I don’t brag about that..Who gonna take a man seriously who says he’s the best at whatever he does in Florida, nobody CAAAARES, baby.
~The sound of the arena booing while the Googly One disparages their state fills the background as Moogley continues. He raises his free hand, also bedazzled in various potentially magical rings, and points it at the screen with a look of conviction~
Googly Moogley: Tonight I am here to represent a FAAABULOUS human being. A Real, unnamed SAVAGE Champion, baby! I’m talking about the LOOOOORD of Kaelsavania! I’m speaking on behalf of the PRIME MINISTER… of Max-OOOO-Putanawnia! The Capital EYE in Good IDEA! A man who has become a very-very close friend to me in a very short amount of time, of course.. Your friend And mine, MAX KAAAAEEL!
~Max looks up from his pacing, one singular blue eye glaring in the direction of the Great Googly Moogly before he looks toward the camera pointing at himself in confusion. Googly Moogley claps in support of his client~
Googly Moogley: Look at that wonderful human BEING going through his paces back there, his mind DARK with all them teeeerrrible things he gonna do Ehud of MOAB. Friends, Ehud got his brain using his Senior Discount and aimed low even then. He’s so stupid I heard his doctor, after scanning his brain, named the space between his ears after his favorite department store, BIG LOTS, baby!
~The man, well into his late fifties, jumps onto his toes and begins to strut and dance, laughing at his own bad jokes. Max appears to do his best to ignore the man as he continues to pace, his blue eye scanning the floor~
Googly Moogley: Oh lawdy! Folks, this man behind him, this Good and Just and utterly Doooominating stud is gonna start his walk to the Savage Title! Beating Ehud here will be the FIRST FEEEEAAATHER!.. In the CAP of Max Kael’s destined Savage Title Reign, Hah-Ha! VINCENT LANGSTON.. You don’t strike me as the kind of man who has many FEEERIENDS! I’d rent.. A small church that way it don’t look so PUUUUTHETIC when they drop your stinkin’ carcass in the ground and you still can’t sell out a show, HAH-HA!
~The old man begins dancing another strange jig Max’s blue eye glances up at the clock indicating the approach of his match. His lips stretch out into a malicious grin as a set of sharpened, chrome metal teeth are revealed giving Max a quite literal ghoulish appearance. Googly Moogley breaks from his dance and notices the time before looking back toward the camera~
Googly Moogley: My time here is done, OOOOOOCCCCC-DOUBLEU! Now it’s time for Max Kael to deliver his message, live and in the squared Circle, HAH-HA! Ya got a little Googly, you enjoyed a little Moogley.. But friends, you definitely experienced the Great Googly Moogley, BABY!
~With that both head off screen as we return ringside~
Smith: A unique pairing...but don't let Moogley fool you, Max Kael is very serious and very dangerous.
Hood: Langston got one over on Kael at Block Party...if those two meet again the result could be vastly different.
Smith: Indeed...Kael is up next squaring off against - Ehud.
Hood: Fucking Ehud!
|
|
Singles Match
Ehud of Moab (3-1) vs. Max Kael (3-1)
~The crowd is feeling groovy. It’s been a groovy kind of night as OCW has begun relocating its in-ring groove post Block Party. Groovy. The fans recognize that a very unique contest is on the horizon. Belvedere, inside the ring, clears his regal throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~“Witch Doctor” begins while the lights dim in the arena. Lights above the ring shine down to create a #970000 Red High Octane Wrestling logo on the canvas that slowly morphs into a twisted, one eyed smiley face. The stage flashes with alternating red and blue lights as Max Kael saunters his way out onto the stage~
~Greeting the crowd with a large toothy smile the Prime Minister of Maxopotamia pauses on the stage and offers a traditional royal wave to a chorus of boos. Max doesn’t seem phased by the boos and jeers holding his head high as he continues to saunter down to the ring, his hands folding behind his back as he does so. Max keeps to the center of the ramp doing his best to avoid contact with any of the fans before climbing up into the ring~
~Pausing once again Max wipes his feet off on the edge of the ring before slipping between the top and center rope. Slinking toward the center of the ring Max, bathed in the red smiley face, lifts his hand and smiles once again, the Ambassador of High Octane greeting the OCW hostility with grace and measured arrogance. The music dies down as the house lights rise while Max Kael moves to his corner to prepare for his match~
Belvedere: From Arkham, Massachusetts…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 246lbs…he is a member of the eMpire…Max Kael!!!
Smith: Max Kael’s first in-ring appearance since Block Party.
Hood: More like FUCKED Party because, ya know, he got FUCKED
Smith: Some would agree…others might say it was just a byproduct of competition.
Hood: Ray Charles might say that. Stevie Wonder might say that, sure.
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“The Fuck Was I” by Jenny Owen Young plays…everyone waits and watches~
Smith: And here comes Ehud of Moab…the #1 Contender to the OCW Savage Championship!
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Aaaany moment now
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: And…here we go…
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Relax ladies and gentlemen…I believe he’s just about out here
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Hmm
Hood: Yep
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Okay…can we…maybe, check and see if he’s here?
Hood: Yep
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Seriously..where is he?
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Okay, this is getting ridiculous
Hood: Yep
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Can we start a ten count? I mean the show has to move along!
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Okay, that’s it…I’m about to call it.
Hood: Yep.
~Everyone waits and watches~
Smith: Somebody get me Welsh on the line, we’ve got to move the show along.
Hood: Ye –
~The crowd goes wild as Ehud thrusts the curtain aside! The song is already midway through its second play. He begins the march toward the ring, shadow boxing along the way~
Smith: And there he is! Finally! Ehud of Moab!
Hood: I’d hate to stand behind him in line at…well, any place that has a line.
Smith: I can’t argue that
~Ehud is still at the top of the stage, shadow boxing. The fans are chanting “EHUD! EHUD!” He slowly makes his way toward the ramp. Max is standing in the ring, glaring at Ehud. The man has impenetrable patience~
Smith: And how long is THIS going to take?
Hood: Ehud’s like an aged bottle of Boone’s Farm.
Smith: Okay…
Hood: I mean, that’s all I’ve got. Not really any substance behind that metaphor.
Smith: Well thanks for contributing!
~Ehud begins his descent down the ramp. The fans are still behind the man moving in real time slow motion. His white hair bounces along his shoulders as he throws some lefts and rights, looking at the ring. He’s got Max Kael set in his violent sight. Max, meanwhile, maintains composure…the patience of Job. Speaking of Job…does Ehud know Job? Perhaps~
Smith: And Ehud continues to make his way to the ring. Perhaps Belvedere should go ahead and announce his arrival…ya know, take up some of this time we’ve got.
Hood: Not a bad idea
Belvedere: And his opponent…making his way to the ring…from Moab, Utah…he is a former sheriff and the enemy of evil Grimace…he is…the #1 Contender to the OCW Savage Championship…he is a first time airline traveler…
~We can tell Belvedere is really stretching this out. Ehud is almost halfway down the ramp. He throws two consecutive right jabs, showing he has the ability to mix things up, fist-wise. Belvedere gives in~
Belvedere: He is...Ehud of Moab!!!
~Belvedere exits the ring. Max seems ready to compete…his internal alarm clock is going off. Ehud has finally made it halfway down the ramp. He throws a right jab and a left uppercut~
Smith: Oh for Pete’s sake
Hood: Can we just ring the bell and make this falls count anywhere?
~Ehud is halfway between the middle of the ramp and the end. Max snarls, keeping his eye on Ehud. Scruff is between Max and the ropes, realizing he’s got a ‘caged tiger’ situation. Ehud throws a few left jabs…his straw cowboy hat remains firmly placed atop his silver head~
Smith: Well at least Ehud’s getting some practice in.
Hood: How is this fair? It’s like allowing the other team to get a bunch of layups in during the lineup announcements at a basketball game.
Smith: This is OCW, Hood. We have an eclectic group of competitors. Some run down to the ring in less than five seconds. Others, well, others take longer.
Hood: Too fucking long if you ask me.
~Max flashes his metallic teeth for the first time since coming down to the ring. It forces us to take a closer inspection of his face. His jawline is still bruised making it apparent the man must be dealing with pain OR on some really kickass pain killers. Ehud is finally nearing the bottom of the ramp. He takes a slow step and is OFF THE RAMP!! The crowd goes wild!! Ehud pauses and gets in a boxing stance, throwing a few right hands. Max tries to step through the ropes, but Scruff holds him in place~
Smith: Don’t stop!
Hood: Man…shit’s like when you’re waiting for a train to pass…it slows…it slow…then it stops…so depressing.
Smith: Are you saying you lived near train tracks as a kid?
Hood: …NO!
~Ehud resumes his slow death-like march toward the ring. We hear him release a “hmph! Hmph!” as he throws some more left and right jabs. Max’s bright blue, lone eye turns toward Scruff…the object of his derision~
Smith: Scruff does not want to draw the ire of Max Kael.
Hood: You mean the EYERE?
Smith: You act like I can read your unfunny joke. We’re on air!
Hood: For the deaf people out there…with their closed captions.
~Ehud FINALLY reaches the ring. He throws a few punches as he turns and heads toward the steel steps. Max shoves Scruff away, backing into the middle of the ring…the light has torn through the darkness near the end of this torturous tunnel. Ehud steps onto the bottom step and throws a left hook. The crowd cheers~
Smith: Alright! He’s on the steps!
Hood: How fucking long has this entrance lasted?
Smith: Awhile
Hood: This feels longer than most matches
~Ehud reaches the second step! He throws a few left hooks. He reaches the third step! He throws a devastating right haymaker. He steps upon the apron. Scruff, growing nervous with Kael’s glare…sits on the middle rope, giving Ehud wider passage. Ehud shoves Scruff away. He’s a MAN! He will not be treated as a woman…he scoffs at things like Women’s liberation and the MeToo movement. Men open doors for women. They hold the ropes for women. They surprise their wives with a remodeled kitchen on Mother’s Day. This is how life goes. Ehud slowly steps through the ropes. Kael is about to ambush him when Scruff gets in his way~
Smith: Max is going to explode.
Hood: Yes, much like a virgin’s cock on prom night. It can only last so long.
~Ehud is FINALLY in the ring! The crowd goes wild!! Scruff calls for the bell. It rings~
Smith: AND HERE WE GO
Hood: And people thought Return of the King was too damn long.
~Kael is in his corner. Ehud is in his corner, shadow boxing. Max heads for Ehud. Something falls from the sky!!! It SLAMS into the mat right in front of Max, narrowly missing him. Max looks down and spots – A CHAIN~
Smith: A chain just fell from the sky…what the heck?!
Hood: Ehud took so long that the building is falling apart!
Smith: Is this some kind of sign…a metaphor…did Langston plant the chain?
Hood: I don’t know, but Max is lucky it didn’t hit him.
~Max’s attention remains focused on the chain laying at his feet. His bruised jaw tightens…as it does, he winces. His mouth is still in recovery mode. A comet in the form of a human fist flies into view, smashing Max in the temple!!! Kael falls to the mat!! Ehud stands over him!! The crowd is going wild!! Ehud walks around the chain~
Smith: Ehud just drilled Max Kael with the Moab Haymaker!
Hood: Is that what it’s called?
Smith: Unofficially!
Hood: If Ehud wins, I fucking riot
~Ehud finally reaches the clear side. He drops to his knees and pins Max. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!
NO!!!!
Smith: Max kicked out!
Hood: EXHALE
Smith: Ehud needs to stay focused.
Hood: Dude, he’s 80…he’s probably already forgotten that Max is his opponent.
~Scruff removes the chain, struggling with the weight while tossing it out of the ring. Ehud begins to rise to his feet. It’s taking awhile. Max sits up, shaking off the proverbial cobwebs from Ehud’s vicious right fist. Max gets to his feet. Ehud is on one knee. Max looks down at Ehud…we can’t really tell what’s behind the singular eyed ambivalence. He hesitates as Ehud reaches his feet~
Smith: Max seems torn.
Hood: Well his body has been torn…in many places…many times.
Smith: I’m speaking psychologically. He’s facing an 80-year-old man…a chain fell from the sky…the match took darn near half an hour to begin…he’s probably wondering what he’s got himself into.
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
~Ehud reaches his feet. He gives Max a stern talking to. He throws a punch into Max’s chest. This seems to ameliorate Kael’s ambivalence. Max releases a shiny, menacing grin. Ehud throws a right fist at Max’s face. There’s a loud SMACK…but it doesn’t sound right. Ehud looks down at his fist…the knuckles are sliced open. It’s bleeding pretty good…guy must be on blood thinners~
Smith: It’s those TEETH
Hood: Temporary pain for permanent pleasure. Max is a pragmatic sadist.
Smith: I just hope Ehud doesn’t bleed out.
Hood: Yea man blood thinners are no joke.
~Ehud’s resolve only strengthens. His eyes narrow. We see an imaginary tumbleweed roll across the ring as a ‘twang’ sounds off on the horizon. It’s high noon and Ehud is ready to rumble. He raises his fist…one flesh, the other red. He pummels Max with lefts and rights!! Kael staggers back, against the ropes. The fans chant “EHUD! EHUD!”~
Smith: Ehud is giving Max all he can offer at this point…it appears to be doing some damage.
Hood: Max is too young, he’s too big…he’s too good.
Smith: You might be right.
~Ehud yells out…it’s the CRY OF MOAB! He throws a right hand…Max catches it!! He squeezes the fist creating a fair amount of crimson ooze. Ehud throws his clean fist. Max catches that one!! Ehud’s eyes narrow…this time with an amalgamation of pain and resolve. Ehud tries to pull his fists free, but can’t. Max raises his vision, glaring into Ehud’s face. His eye has never looked bluer…it’s offputting. His mouth is wet and dark. He spits a giant wad of blood on the mat…the surgical wounds have been reopened~
Smith: Ehud is in trouble.
Hood: Yep and Max’s dentist is overjoyed! He’s about to get paid…again!
Smith: Yes, a trip back to the dentist’s office is on the horizon for Mr. Kael.
~Max releases Ehud’s hands, throwing them down. He lunges forward with a Mongolian Chop!! It paralyzes Ehud’s upper body. Max grabs Ehud and drops him with Weapon of Max Destruction!!! Ehud is down!!! Max makes the cover…he grinds his teeth together as dark, #800000 blood oozes from his oral orifice. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MAX KAEL!!!!!
Smith: Ugh, brutal
Hood: Atta boy, Max! Back to his winning ways!
Smith: I have to say…you can’t rebound much stronger than that.
~Max spits more red blood onto the mat. The metal beneath the blood shines through in certain areas proving to be a pretty slick, stainless surface. He rises to his feet, finished with the foolishness that is Ehud~
~The camera cuts backstage where Ed Houston is standing with a mic in his hand~
“OCW Universe! It feels great to be back here backstage at Massacre! I had to make an appearance tonight! I mean we finally get to see Kitty Petrova step back in the ring. It’s only been....”
~He looks down at his wrist.~
“Two months! Glad to see she took the belt from me and put a stop to my paper championship reign! I’m rooting for you!”
“I kid, I kid. I’m really here to share a message with you OCW universe. This past year hasn’t been what I wanted it. I started the year on fire! I had a wonderful showing at Death March, took Vincent Langston to his limit, and finally beat Mack O’Connor to take the Paradigm Championship. I was flying high. But then, March came. Spring caused my momentum to stutter. I took a big first hit and started teetering towards Earth and before I knew it, I was losing air rapidly and I was crashing and burning.”
“Not being at Block Party killed me. I had two big chances to get on the card and I wasn’t able to get it done. I had been on every single big show since OCW reopened and I felt terrible not being able to fight. I sat in the darkness for weeks and as the eMpire took over, I thought I might be heading back to the autograph circuit. I sat in the dark for almost two straight weeks. But then I found the light. Not in some metaphorical sense. My agent literally turned the light on in my apartment and I realized that if I wanted to get back into the swing of things all I had to do is fight.”
“That’s why I’m here tonight. I want the entire OCW universe to know that I’m down to fight for my spot here. I’m down to fight for the OCW universe. Nothing is forever here. Even the mightiest planet can be taken down by the right meteor. And I will not miss a big show again, not without a fight at least.”
~Ed signs off with a NASA certified salute. The camera focuses on it for a minute before cutting away.~
Smith: Ed appears rejuvenated...sometimes failure can cripple...other times it can inspire. Ed seems inspired by the fact he missed Block Party.
Hood: Kid's got spun...err, he's got spirit! Too bad he's still a fucking flunkie!
Smith: Rude! Go Ed! Here's hoping Mr. Houston continues build upon his stellar OCW resume as 2019 rolls on.
Hood: Yea, yea
|
|
Singles Match
Evin Empire (11-1) vs. Chastity Temple (2-0)
~The fans are very eager…perhaps overly so? For the next match! It’s a clash featuring two of OCW’s brightest stars. The fans are already in a frenzy chanting “PURE-VA-JAY-JAY!” Never in our lives have we seen a bunch of men go wild in the name of abstinence. Belvedere, a sigil of virtue for announcers everywhere, clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~Britney Spears' "Oops!... I Did It Again" starts to play, signaling the arrival of Chastity Temple into the arena. But the Technical Virgin is not alone. She is riding on the shoulders of none other than John E. Depth! What's more, both of them are wearing matching t-shirts that look like this...~
Smith: Chastity Temple is coming out for her match with Evin Empire! But what is John E. Depth doing with her?
Hood: Looking pretty happy to be having his head between her thighs, from the look of it. Bet he'd rather be facing the other way though.
Smith: Ugh. Must you be so crude?
Hood: Don't get all high and mighty! Everybody know you'd kill your grandma for a peek up the plaid.
Smith: That's... that's... let's just stay focused. What exactly is this Bible Club? And what is that thing Chastity is carrying?
~That thing is some kind of gun. Why she has it... well, she is a religious nut with a questionable grasp on reality so let's just hope for the best. Chastity brandishes her weapon high as Depth carries her to the ring. Depth is sporting a slight limp as we're sure his 'package' is still smarting after his encounter with Lilith. When they reach the apron, Chastity climbs to his shoulder and then somersaults onto the canvas. Depth slides under the bottom rope to join her as God's Girlfriend calls for a microphone.~
Chastity: Ladies and gentlemen... your salvation has arrived! I am Chastity Temple and I am here to rescue you all from your lives of degeneracy! I stand before as an example of a true and proper woman!
~The fans respond by chanting "WHERE"S YOUR BOO-BIES!" at Chastity, which is very improper grammar and not mention quite rude. Chastity ignores the chant and continues her sermon.~
Chastity: Clearly you all have become accustomed to the many jezebels that run amok in OCW. I mean, just look at tonight's main event. It's like having to choose between herpes or the clap!
~The arena erupts into dueling "LET'S GO HER-PES!" and "LET'S GO CLAP!" chants. Chastity takes a deep breath before continuing.~
Chastity: I see I have a lot of work to do if I'm going to save the souls of each and every one of you sinners out there. I need to be a shining star amongst the darkness that is OCW. And nothing shines brighter than gold... except for my pure vajayjay. So I just want Kitty and Hayley to know that whoever leaves this ring with that bet around her waist also has a target on her back.
~She raises her gun up menacingly and glares at the fans.~
Chastity: But that's not all I have to announce. I'm giving you all the chance for redemption here and now. You have the chance to be one of the elite. You have the chance to join... Bible Club. You can turn away from your debauched way just like John E. Depth here has.
~She doesn't notice Depth standing behind her shaking his head and mouthing "No I haven't."~
Chastity: All you need to do is open the Good Book and let the wisdom of God into your hearts! And if eternal salvation isn't enough, I'm giving away a free Bible Club shirt! Raise your hands if you want to be the lucky winner!
~OK, so the gun is a t-shirt cannon. Everything's good. Chastity looks around the arena and sees a group of fans waving their arms because hey, free t-shirt. The Technical Virgin aims the cannon towards them and fires. A bundle of cloth shoots out at a velocity that seems waaaaay high and nails a neckbeard who just wanted a free shirt right in the groin. His face turns purple as he slumps over with his hands cupping the crater of flesh that was once his genitals.~
Chastity: Wow, that was a lot more air pressure than I thought this thing would have! Uhhh... hope you like your shirt!
~Sheepishly handing the cannon over to Depth, Chastity heads to her corner to await her opponent for the evening, Evin Empire.~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~The lights dim to black as the opening notes of "Ambitionz Az A Ridah" fill the arena to a majority of boos. Strobe lights flicker on and off to the beat of the music as smoke begins to fill the entrance way. Evin Empire steps out from behind the curtain with a swagger in his walk and a sarcastic grin on his face. He begins trading insults with the fans on the rail and slowly makes his way toward the ring. Evin slides into the ring, runs to the opposite corner, hops onto the middle turnbuckle and taunts the crowd once again as his music fades~
Belvedere: From Reno, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 215lbs…Evin Empire!!
Smith: Evin will get his shot at Andrea Hernandez on May 27th.
Hood: About fucking time
Smith: He has waited awhile for his first title opportunity.
~Belvedere exits. The bell sounds~
Smith: Alright! Here we go…a clash between two individuals who possess main event potential!
Hood: This will be the most any man has put their hands on Chastity in her entire life.
Smith: Well…I don’t know, she is a daddy’s girl.
Hood: Yeesh
~Evin leans into his corner taking stock of Chastity. She’s the dirtiest clean girl in the history of OCW. Chastity looks across the ring at Evin. We’re not sure if she’s doing this on purpose or if the good Lord cursed her with the innate ability to harden the cocks of men. Regardless, she’s looking pretty slutty. Evin walks up, intrigued over her titillating aura~
Smith: Evin’s got that look in his eye.
Hood: The same look we see in Mr. Temple’s eye?
Smith: Chastity is the apple of her father’s eye.
Hood: That tempting apple…garden of Eden…symbol of sin and disobedience.
~Empire tugs at Chastity’s skirt. Temple seems flattered, perhaps divulging the location where it was purchased. Evin begins to pull on it…the very bottom of Chastity’s ass is nearly exposed. She recoils!! She slaps Evin’s hand away and is flush with embarrassment and anger. Evin rears back like “really? Fuckin tease!” Chastity lunges forward and slaps Evin across the face!! Evin’s head jerks to the right. Chastity’s chest heaves with oxygen laced anger. Evin’s jaw tightens…his head slowly swivels back around. He nods, saying “Okay, okay…” Temple throws a second slap. Evin catches her hand with his left arm and grabs her neck with his right hand, shoving her back against the ropes~
Smith: Hey! There’s no need to manhandle her like that!
Hood: What are you talking about? This is a wrestling competition! You were saying earlier how she had main event potential…who do you think she’s going to face in those main events, Betty White?
Smith: Okay, you got me…but, still…to see it play out like this is a bit unsettling.
Hood: Not for me, bitch is a fuckin tease. That tease needs to be taught a lesson!
~Evin shoves Chastity as hard as he can against the ropes. She flips over the top rope!! She lands on her feet and slides between Evin’s legs. Evin looks around, thrown off by her quickness. Chastity reaches her feet and runs toward the ropes. She bounces off. Evin turns around…Chastity leaps into the air and hits him in the face with a Rear Window!! Evin stumbles through the ropes, onto the apron. Evin struggles to his feet, dazed. Chastity spins around and hits Evin across the face with a roaring SLAP!!! Evin flies off the apron and lands into the barricade, roughly. The crowd is going wild~
Smith: Yes! Go Chastity!
Hood: What the hell is this shit? Evin is a future star…Chastity is a porn star who doesn’t know it yet…you always choose star over porn star.
Smith: Just because Chastity has a certain taste in attire doesn’t mean she copulates for money.
Hood: I don’t know what copulates means, but I have no doubt she takes dick for cash.
~Chastity climbs to the top rope…as she does we see her ass underneath her way too short skirt. She must be wearing a thong…black, probably. The male fans let out a ‘WHOO!!’ Chastity looks around, confused. She stands high, atop the corner and leaps off!! Evin stands up…he turns to the sky and sees Chastity descending upon him. She takes him down with a cross body!! They tumble onto the matted outside floor. Chastity rolls over, several times before coming to a rest and rising to her feet. The fans (especially the men) go wild!! A few male fans at ringside reach out patting her on the back while also attempting to cop an inconspicuous feel. Chastity doesn’t seem to realize their intentions. Evin, meanwhile, is down, wincing with pain~
Smith: What athleticism!! Great move by Chastity! She’s putting it all on the line here tonight!
Hood: She’s leaving nothing uncovered, Smith. She’s fully exposed!
Smith: I don’t like the way you phrased that.
Hood: Tell me I’m wrong.
Smith: I wouldn’t say FULLY exposed
Hood: Give it time.
~Chastity spots a really zealous male fan. He’s middle-aged, wearing a shirt that says “LARP 4 LIFE.” He wants a hug. Chastity, showing her good nature, leans in to hug the man. The hug starts to last an uncomfortable amount of time. His hands begin to move south of the equator. Chastity looks around, growing suspicious. She’s about to push the man away when a boot from Evin Empire smacks her in the side of the head! Temple’s body goes flying into the side of the barricade, right at the point where it makes a 90-degree turn. Empire looks at the man wearing the LARP 4 LIFE shirt and chuckles, pie facing the loser away. He heads in Chastity’s direction~
Smith: I’m glad that fan was able to enjoy some unique interaction, but he cost Chastity control of this match!
Hood: That’s probably the first, and last time that guy will ever experience what it means to be cock blocked.
Smith: I’m sure he’s enjoyed the company of a woman.
Hood: Paid? Sure. Free? No fucking way.
~Evin grabs Chastity by the hair, yanking her to a standing position in violent fashion. Scruff yells “ONE!” from inside the ring. Evin shoves Chastity with both hands. She flies into the barricade, her back hitting hard. She starts to sink to the ground…Evin grabs her hair, preventing her body from acquiescing to gravity’s demands. He pulls her up and gives her a HUGE knife edged chop across the chest. Scruff yells out “TWO!” Evin knees Chastity in the gut. She doubles over. He talks shit into her ear…we don’t know what he’s saying, but we’re pretty sure it violates every orifice belonging to the #MeToo movement~
Smith: This is just brutal.
Hood: All hail the Empire known as Evin!
Smith: What about the eMpire?
Hood: Shhh, quiet…I don’t want those two entities to realize they exist under the same roof.
~Evin tosses Chastity toward the ring. The force overpowers her legs, sending her tumbling into the cloth underneath the apron. Her body nearly disappears beneath the ring. Evin saunters her way, looking confident. He grabs her by the left leg, yanking her out from under the ring…he hooks her around the waist. Scruff yells “FOUR!” Evin deadlifts Chastity…he turns his back to the ring and throws her over his head with a Release German Suplex!! She lands HARD on the apron!! Her lifeless body tumbles over the bottom rope, into the ring. Evin extends his arms…the crowd BOOOS!! He soaks in the hate. Chastity remains down, inside the ring. Scruff yells “FIVE!”~
Smith: He’s decimating young Chastity at the moment.
Hood: Send that tease back to Topeka!
Smith: You say that like Topeka is some unholy location.
Hood: It’s in Kansas…the entire state is unholy in its inanity. Tornado season should just wipe the fucking place from the map one year…do us all a favor. Why we didn’t just give that entire state to the Native Americans as compensation, I’ll never know.
~Scruff yells “SEVEN!” Evin turns around and slides into the ring. The count comes to a close. He pops to his feet…Temple is down. He stands over her. She’s crawling toward his feet. Evin toys with her, kicking her head around and laughing. The fans continue to boo. Chastity begins to crawl up Evin…this places her in a very suggestive pose. Evin looks around and palms the back of her head. The fans BOOOO! The LARP guy is incensed!!! Evin shoves her head down into the powerbomb position~
Smith: Evin is looking to hit Reno 911!
Hood: Might be a wake up call for Chastity. She’ll google the term Reno…find out about Vegas, move out there…work at a club…eventually become a hooker and make lots of money.
Smith: I hope not!
~Evin hoists her up! Chastity turns it into a Frankensteiner!! She tosses Evin forward!! Evin rolls over, landing on his ass. He’s shaken. He gets to his feet. He charges at Chastity, who is back on her feet. He throws a lariat. Chastity performs the Matrix evasions!! Evin stumbles forward. Temple drills him with a bridging overhead kick!!! Evin stumbles into a corner. Chastity turns, facing Evin…she runs forward and leaps into the air, nailing a huge stinger splash!! She backs up…Evin follows her, as though he’s under a spell. Temple jumps up, nailing Evin in the chin with a knee! He falls back into the corner. Chastity backs up, charges forward and crushes Evin with a handspring back elbow smash!!! Evin stumbles out of the corner before turning and landing on the mat, back first, staring up at the lights. The fans chant “TEMPLE! TEMPLE!”~
Smith: She’s on fire!! She’s got OCW’s top young star on the ropes!
Hood: Technically he’s on the mat.
Smith: You know what I mean!
~Chastity is really feeling the energy. She’s feeling the VIBE. She imbibes the frenzied fans which invites the LORD OF DANCE. She begins to gyrate. Her body starts to move. She begins to…TWERK~
Smith: Look at her go!
Hood: Fucking seriously? When do they teach THIS in private schools?
Smith: I don’t know, I was a public school kid,
Hood: This must be an extracurricular activity.
~Chastity finishes twerking (and may we point out she did a GREAT job at twerking) and leaps into the air with a beautiful standing moonsault (Temple Dance!)!!! She hits it!! She covers Evin for the pin!! The fans are on their feet, dripping with excitement…Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: She was so close!
Hood: So were all the men in this audience.
Smith: Hey, don’t lump me into that group. I’m merely a fan.
Hood: Yes, yes, we all know what you prefer.
Smith: I don’t really know how to take that.
Hood: The ass?
Smith: RUDE
~Chastity isn’t upset. She’s thankful that Scruff was there to administer such a strong and fair count. She pops back to her feet, focused on Evin. He rolls over, reaching all fours. Chastity hits the ropes…she comes off and leaps into the air with a standing shooting star press!! She connects, flattening Evin back out!! She pops to her feet and looks at the back of Evin’s legs. The fans chant ‘YES!’~
Smith: He’s prone! He’s in position!
Hood: Hey! I said you take it up the ass, not Evin!
Smith: Stop spreading your fake news!!! I’m talking about Temple’s submission finisher…Chastity Belt!
Hood: Oh fuck, there’s no escaping that shit. I’ve seen Robin Hood Men in Tights.
~Chastity grabs Evin’s legs and hooks them. She’s facing the OCWTron. She leans back and grabs Evin’s head, applying the Chastity Belt (Muta Lock)!!! The fans go wild!!! Chastity pulls back, hard, really wrenching Evin’s neck. Scruff asks Evin if he wants to give it up. He says ‘no’. But he’s stuck…it’s center of the ring, there is no escape~
Smith: Evin Empire has no way out of this…he’s going to tap or pass out.
Hood: This is some bullshit. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T HAVE NICE THINGS
Smith: Hey, if he loses you have to give it to Chastity.
Hood: Hmm…give it to her, you say?
Smith: PICK YOUR MIND UP OUT OF THE GUTTER, SIR
~Chastity continues to wrench. She’s really getting into this move. The fans continue to cheer. The cheers suddenly increase…they get louder and louder. They sound more masculine…it seems the male audience is going crazy~
Smith: Strange vibe
Hood: LOOK AT THE OCWTRON!
~The OCWTron displays an upskirt shot of Chastity as she holds onto the Chastity Belt. It’s…pretty revealing. The male fans are going wild! They are jumping up and down, sweating profusely. It’s getting rowdy. Chastity nods her head along with the vibe, thinking everyone is super into her submission hold. Scruff, who has been asking Evin if he wants to quit all this time goes quiet. Chastity finds this odd. “Ask him!” she yells. She gets no response. She opens her eyes and looks around…she spots the upskirt view on the OCWTron and is appalled! She screams and releases the lock to cover herself up. All the men in attendance groan with disappointment…a few hold their blue-hued testicles~
Smith: That cameraman should be fired!
Hood: It’s not his fault Chastity was flashing muff.
Smith: He didn’t have to broadcast it in front of the entire audience!
Hood: Hey, here’s an idea…wear some fucking pants if you’re that concerned!
~Empire crawls for the ropes, seeking shelter. Chastity SLAPS Scruff across the face. Scruff falls back, stunned. Chastity stands and tugs on her skirt, making sure it’s as low as the fabric will allow. She turns toward Evin, who is on the apron. She leans through the ropes to grab him…he throws a kick into the side of her head. She staggers back. Evin uses the ropes to get to his feet. He jumps up and springboards off the top rope nailing Chastity with a Missile Drop Kick!! The force is so intense that her body flies into the ropes. They keep her from hitting the mat. She bounces off and stumbles around. Evin returns to his feet, kicks her in the gut, hoists her up and drops her with a Fisherman’s Brainbuster!! He covers her for the pin! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Smith: Chastity is alive! C’mon, Chastity! You can do this!
Hood: She’s lucky to still be in there with Evin. I’d consider this a win for the slut from Topeka.
Smith: HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH THINGS
Hood: What? Calling her a winner?
Smith: No! Referring to her as a harlot!
~Empire returns to his feet. He doubles over, reaching for his aching back. He looks down at Chastity and spits…the spit lands on her exposed belly, looking very much like, well, you know. Evin snares Chastity by the hair, lifting her back to her feet. He kicks her in the gut hopefully wiping that conspicuous looking spit away. He has her in prime position for Reno 911! He lifts her up…he gets her into the Crucifix Position. Chastity, like a demon coming into contact with a cross starts to freak out! She wiggles and writhes!!! She manages to break free! Evin turns around and eats a jumping roundhouse kick!!! He falls to the mat!! The fans are going crazy!! Chastity, on her knees, crawls toward the nearest corner~
Smith: Savior Sole!!!
Hood: Ah shit!
Smith: That can only mean one thing…we’re about to Slice of Heaven!
Hood: Please NO!
~Chastity climbs the buckles. She gets to the top. He looks over at the OCWTron for a second to make sure everything is okay. She tugs at her skirt a bit. Evin suddenly kips up!! The fans yell and point! Chastity sees the rising star on his feet. He’s not all there. But, he’s on his feet which means Temple needs to alter her strategy. Evin turns, facing Chastity. Chastity leaps off and wraps her legs around Evin’s head for a Hurricanrana! She twists…Evin holds on!! Evin spins around…Chastity tries to get him over, but can’t. Evin continues to spin…while spinning he gains control of Chastity and tosses her up…he catches her in the Crucifix position and drives her into the mat with Reno 911!! The ring shakes with impact!!! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…EVIN EMPIRE!!!!!
Smith: NO!
Hood: Hot damn!! Way to go, Evin!
Smith: Chastity controlled most of that match only to lose at the very end!
Hood: Hey, I’ll give the whore credit. She’s better than I thought.
Smith: A backhanded compliment no doubt.
Hood: Hey, it’s more than anything I’ve ever given Alice.
Smith: All you’ve given that poor woman is grief! Disappointing loss for Chastity…she was great tonight.
Hood: As were some of the photos that will no doubt pop up online in a few moments…if they aren’t there already.
Smith: Evin continues to ascend as he’s got a date with Andrea Hernandez in two weeks. Chastity, meanwhile, can only go up from here as this match, despite it being a losing effort proves that she’s a force here in OCW.
~The camera fades in unsteadily, the image moving in and out of focus due to the poor light level. The sun looks to be just setting over the horizon, revealing the ocean view beyond those sliding glass doors. The slim silhouette of a dark-haired woman moves towards those doors, pulling them open and stepping out onto the balcony. As the sun breaks through the patchy cloud cover, it illuminates her upturned features as well as the shiny championship belt around her waist. She turns her back to the spectacular view, letting the sun's waning glow serve as a sort of spotlight to accentuate her instead – it works and she looks radiant, almost angelic as a breeze lifts her dark hair from her shoulders~
Kitty Petrova: This business has changed. For the worst. I can't possibly stress that enough. See, there was a time when hard work and pride meant everything – when respect was something that could be earned. There was a time when the plebes knew their place, when morons and reality TV stars wouldn't have dared to set foot in the squared circle for fear of breaking a nail. They were content to be arm candy, to be seen and not heard. These past few weeks, I've longed for those times.
~She rolls her eyes, tossing her hair out of her face and then smoothing it over one shoulder, absently twisting it between her fingers~
Kitty Petrova: There was a time when being good at this meant that people would shut their damned mouths and learn from their betters. Now, we've got all the special bus rejects who were coddled as children, who were told over and over that they were special think they have a right to run their mouths unchecked. Keyboard warriors and nonsense vigilante heroes... pathetic. It's a damned conspiracy of Ravens up in here and I feel like loading a gun and declaring it hunting season.
~Sighing, she glances over her shoulder, squinting in the glare~
Kitty Petrova: In my world nothing comes without a price. You do something to me; you get something back. That's basic physics, sweetie. I'm not playing goddess over here, meting out punishments to fit crimes I've imagined – I'm not tallying up the slights. No. You get back what you deserve, regardless of what I think. Do you understand what I'm saying?
~Silence reigns for a few more moments and the breeze rustles through the palms as the sun sinks lower. She's more darkened silhouette now against the orange-lit clouds and she pauses to light something, drawing in a slow breath. There's a rustle as she shifts positions, nearly invisible in the inky gloom. Smoke drifts towards the lights below~
Kitty Petrova: There was a time when wrestling was a sporting contest, when the sound of a frenzied crowd in an arena conjured images of Roman coliseums and battle-hardened gladiators rather than a room filled with actors and freaks with hidden agendas. I thought OCW was different, a place where sheer talent bought you a ticket to the top, but those days are all but forgotten now. Call me a purist, call me unoriginal and stale – I don't care. I know what does and doesn't belong here and I'll happily call you out for being an idiot. You're not Rudy. This isn't your redemption story, Hayley. This is your long walk down the green mile. This is the end of a career that never really got off the ground and I have to wonder why you didn't appropriate the name of a flightless bird instead. Hell Dodo. Hell Ostrich. Either would suffice. One is extinct. The other known for denial and delusion. You're about to shift seamlessly from the latter to the former and there's nobody to save your sorry ass.
~Chilling laughter fills the silence, the glowing tip of whatever it is that she's smoking bobbing up and down.~
Kitty Petrova: I'm coming for you, Hayley. My vengeance is cold and swift. Unforgiving.
~Her breath steams from her mouth and that orange glow of the sky along the horizon almost seems reflected in her gaze for a moment~
Kitty Petrova: Adversity changes you. It molds the great from the meek. It teaches you things you never knew about yourself. Let me ask you this, little bird: are you ready for enlightenment? Are you ready to take your first steps in a new world... a better world? I don't think you are… but then, I've been wrong before. Nature of the beast.
~The Paradigm Champion smirks, leaning forward as she flicks her vice away into the night~
Kitty Petrova: It's time for a revolution. It's time for this place to shake apart at its very foundations. It's time for you to say goodbye.
~She cracks her knuckles slowly, that smile widening to flash her teeth~
Kitty Petrova: Greed is for amateurs. Flight is for the birds. I'm the goddamned Paradigm Champion – both the definition AND the glass ceiling keeping you from crossing over into The eMpire's territory. I take this seriously, little girl; I'm playing for keeps. You shall not pass.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Strong words from the Paradigm Champion...she defends her title tonight against Hayley Robinson.
Hood: Yep, Hayley's fucked.
Smith: Hayley earned her shot by defeating a veteran many viewed her superior - Ariel Shadows. I wouldn't count Robinson out.
Hood: Petrova is a future OCW Champion. Future OCW Champions don't lose to people like Hellraven Robinson.
Smith: It's Hayley!
Hood: What.Ever
~Suddenly the lights go out as a spotlight centers on stage. Piano chords begin a haunting melody, accompanied by heavy drum beats. The crowd begins to boo MASSIVELY as the video wall displays the words THE ONLY ONE~
Smith: Well here's a face we haven't seen on OCW television in quite a while!
Hood: Years, we're talking years.
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome "The Mistress of Mischief" SARAH TWILIGHT!
~Pyros shoot up from both sides of the entrance ramp as our melody finally kicks into guitar. "The Only One" by Evanescence continues to play as Sarah finally walks out onto the stage. She is greeted with deafening boos and soaks them all in, as if she enjoyed the crowd's hatred. She arrogantly swaggers towards the ring, taking her time to revel in her own glory among ENRAGED fans before she reaches the ringsteps and steps inside. Pyros now shoot off from the ring posts and Sarah takes to each turnbuckle, staring coldly and without emotion into the sea of 'sheep' as the crowd's boos become even LOUDER~
Smith: All business written across the face of Sarah Twilight here tonight. We're about to find out wat's on her mind.
Hood: I'm just happy with the view.
~Sarah takes a microphone from a member of the ring crew and paces back and forth inside the ring for a few moments as the crowd showers her with more boos. She taps the microphone to her chin a couple of times with a very flippant demeanor towards the crowd reaction she was receiving~
Sarah Twilight: As all of you sheep already know, I have signed another contract with the OCW.
~She pauses briefly, and the crowd continues to jeer~
Sarah Twilight: Now I could choose to walk out here and do exactly what everyone else that shows up here does. I could talk about all of my accomplishments everywhere else ... and that list would be a long one. I could demand to be showcased in the main event BASED on said accomplishments, despite only having signed my contract a few days ago.
~She smirks as this draws some heavy heat from the Key West crowd~
Sarah Twilight: But that is NOT why I'm out here. I don't care to talk about what I've accomplished everywhere else. I am here to talk about what I have accomplished .... HERE!
Smith: Twilight getting straight down to business, but what exactly is she talking about?
Hood: Don't look at me.
Sarah Twilight: Let's talk about what I've done right here in OCW and talk about why I am out here right now. Actually, scratch that ... let me SHOW you what I've done ....
~Sarah motions the video wall at the top of the ramp. Everyone turns their attention towards it as a video clip begins to play~
//BEGIN FOOTAGE//
Genesis
Belvedere: The following contest is the "Oh Shit!" Over The Top Rope Battle Royal!
Smith: A great opportunity here for the participants in this contest. As we know, the winner walks away with a contract to a number one contendership of their choosing.
~Various action sequences are shown of the match, including Sarah Twilight eliminating Johnny Ruff with a Tigerbomb through a flaming table. Landing a German suplex on a man about five times her size. And kicking the face off of another man. One by one each elimination is shown. Finally, we are shown the footage of Sarah eliminating Lilith via headscissors over the top rope to win the match~
Belvedere: And your winner ... "The Mistress of Mischief" SARAH TWILIGHT!!!
Smith: WELL deserved victory considering what we just witnessed. I don't know if I'd have kept my head on my shoulders as well as she did at the end there. Either way, Sarah Twilight has herself a contendership to any championship of her choosing!
//END FOOTAGE//
~The crowd is now bustling as they all begin speculating and discussing what they just witnessed. Smith and Hood are in just as much of an uproar over it~
Smith: I remember that night. Very hard fought victory. But why is she .... Oh!
Hood: Come on man, that was like five years ago.
Smith: Doesn't change the facts. This is a very valid point she is bringing up.
~Sarah is again pacing back and forth in the ring and she doesn't exactly look too pleased. The crowd has settled down on the boos and just continue to speculate on what this might mean going forward~
Sarah Twilight: Hey, Marcus ... Mike ... you remember that night? Because I DAMN SURE DO!
~She narrows her eyes as the camera zooms in on her face. She looks extremely PISSED~
Sarah Twilight: And within days .... fucking DAYS of my victory, management around here had a meltdown, fired half of the roster and I never was granted my contract because of it. Why? I don't know and I don't give a shit. It is crystal-fucking-clear as to why I'm out here! You know exactly what I want, and you WILL give me what I am owed.
~The camera pans back slightly and Sarah just continue staring forward at it with intensity and pure, unadulterated anger~
Sarah Twilight: What was it they called that match? The "Oh Shit" Battle Royal? Well OH SHIT is RIGHT! Because the bitch who won that match is BACK! And OH SHIT, she hasn't forgotten what she is owed. You just signed me to a five year deal ... a VERY lucrative deal. Not a mention in the world about what the fuck you already owe me. So let me make this VERY simple for you. I will NOT compete until you correct this situation and give me the contract that I have EARNED!
Oh I'll be here every week. Maybe I'll just walk out here and kick someone's ass for the hell of it. Maybe a commentator, maybe a referee. Or maybe I'll head backstage and kick one of your fucking heads in! And I will do this EACH and EVERY week until I have that contract in my hands.
Hood: Is she threatening management?
Smith: I think the frustration is boiling over. She has made her intentions clear. Now we'll just have to see what is going to be done about it.
Sarah Twilight: You can either give me what I am owed, or put every member of this company in jeopardy. Choice is yours ..... You have one week!
~With that, Sarah arrogantly flips the microphone upwards. It hit the canvas with a thud as "The Only One" by Evanescence plays once again. The Mistress of Mischief strides toward the back after having delivered her ultimatum.~
Smith: It's been nearly 5 years since we've seen Sarah Twilight and she seems as intense as ever!
Hood: She did win the Oh Shit Contract and was never able to cash it in...she's got an argument, Smith.
Smith: Yes but Vincent Langston holds the CURRENT Contract.
Hood: True...but, as I said, Twilight was screwed out of hers. I think she's owed some form of compensation.
Smith: Welsh has one week to respond. He made the decision to bring Twilight back to OCW so I'm sure he wants to see that investment pay off. It should be interesting to see where all of this leads.
Jerusalem - July 27th, 2014
OCW Presents: Not Safe For Work
Tag Team Championship
Paradigm Championship
Savage Championship
Hall of Fame Championship
OCW Championship
LIVE! Monday, June 17th 2019
From Schlitterbahn Waterpark in New Braunfels, TX
Craze Championship
Andrea Hernandez (c) vs. TBA
Team ATARI (c) vs. TBA
Kitty Petrova (c) vs. TBA
Vincent Langston (c) vs. TBA
Lurrr (c) vs. Matt Meyhu
Mike Best (c) vs. James Raven
|
|
Non-Title Match
Mike Best © (8-0) vs. Jason Kortare (4-2)
~The action cuts back down to the ring, but honestly, why do they call it “the action”? There isn’t a match happening yet-- there’s one brewing, sure, but right now “the action” is just a bunch of screaming wrestling fans awaiting the next match. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it’s time for another match, so here we go.~
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL… introducing first…
~A mixture of red and yellow lights begin to flicker among the stage, and the crowd is super mega holy fuck hyped for YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S FAVORITE WRESTLER as “Remember The Name” by Fort Minor blasts so hard over the speakers that your girlfriend strades the speaker at home and has an orgasm on top of it. You know, like that scene in Howard Stern’s Private Parts.~
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at two hundred forty seven pounds... from The Bronx, Neeeeew York…. JAAAAAAASON KORRRRRRTAAAAARREEEE!
~Jason Kortare walks out onto the stage with his head down and a towel hanging over his shoulders, punching the air wildly as he makes his way down the ramp. Eventually, he throws his wet, sweaty towel into the crowd, where naive women and men on the downlow get into a savage battle over possession of the sacred artifact.~
Smith: A HUGE opportunity for Jason Kortare tonight, taking on OCW Champion Mike Best in a match that, while non-title, could be set to launch the trajectory of this young man straight to the top. I’m talking about rocket boots here, Hood.
Hood: You been drinking all that booze Kortare gave up, Smith? I think I smell wine coolers on your breath. Jason Kortare will be lucky if he doesn’t leave the arena in a pinewood box tonight. I hear Morty the Mortician is on standby, just in case!
~Jason, uh, climbs up the ring post and steps inside the ring, which isn’t really an efficient way to get into the ring, but hey, a man does what he wants to do. Raising his arms up into the air in victory, perhaps prematurely, he then starts to do the pec dance in the middle of the ring.~
~With a mysterious look on his face.~
Hood: SO MYSTERIOUS.
Smith: He’s a stud, Hood. A real stud.
~Women are literally masturbating in the front row, and a member of security has to approach them and let them know that while it may be exciting, they have to keep that shit in check until they get home. Or at least go to the bathroom, or something.~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~"Everybody Loves Me" by OneRepublic begins a slow beat over the sound system, erupting into an acoustic jam as a very hostile crowd heralds the arrival of the OCW Champion himself, Mike Best. The mean, but sensible words of the champion over the last several weeks pop a certain percentage of the crowd, and so there is borderline race war as the always polarizing wrestling veteran steps out slowly onto the stage, making his way toward the ramp.
Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois… weighing in at two hundred twenty five pounds…the OCW CHAAAAAAAMMMMMPPIOOOOONN…. MIKE…. BEEEEEST!!!
~Mike slowly makes his way down the ramp, flipping off the camera with his HOW Hall of Fame ring on the middle finger. The OCW Championship shines across his shoulder, the new and fancy version that he had made following Block Party. Some OCW fans have never actually seen this belt on a weekly show before, and they are agog.~
Smith: Here he is, folks. Love him or hate him, the OCW Champion has vowed to be a fighting one, and here he is tonight. Mike Best looks to extend his winning streak to nine, while Jason Kortare has the opportunity to be the man to end that undefeated streak forever!
Hood: Yeah, but I heard that Mike Best’s grandma--
Smith: NOPE WE AREN’T GOING THERE TONIGHT, HOOD.
Hood: ...but I just wanted to send my cond--
Smith: ONLY ACTUAL HUMAN GARBAGE WOULD GO THERE. NOPE.
Hood: Fine. Whatever.
~Mike rolls under the bottom rope and stands to his feet in the ring. He slowly makes his way toward his corner, stretching and preparing for the beginning of the match as his music begins to quiet and fade away.~
~Belvedere makes his way out of the ring, and once he’s clear, the bell rings to begin the match.~
~Jason Kortare steps forward, flashing his pecs again and talking some shit to the OCW Champion, throwing some shade with a head nod as he tells the champ to come get some. Then, in a flurry, Kortare rushes forward to check Mike Best and get the better of him! The crowd is in a frenzy!~
*THWACK!*
~The sound of a raw steak hitting a tile floor resonates throughout the arena, as Mike Best’s knee collides with the softest parts of Jason Kortare’s beautiful face. Jason hits the mat like he’s been show, splayed out with his arms wide, staring at the lights.~
Hood: He’s gotta be strong, he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight! I KNEED A HEEEEEERRRROOOOO!
Smith: Well that was abrupt.
~With no further fanfare, Mike Best puts a boot on top of Jason Kortare’s chest, appealing to a booing crowd as the referee’s hand hits the mat.~
1!
2!!
3!!!
4!!!!
5!!!!!
~In a call back to his old HOW days, Mike Best keeps Jason Kortare down for a five count, finally releasing the pin as women all across the arena are fucking devastated. They are doing the opposite of throwing their panties into the ring-- they are actively putting on a second pair of panties each, I guess.~
Smith: That has to be disappointing. Kortare almost seems like he quit before this one even started.
Hood: BACK TO REHAB WITH YOU, YA FUCK.
~Mike collects his OCW Championship, throwing it over his shoulder as he celebrates his victory in the ring. But before the booing can hit a crescendo, suddenly… “Bleed It Out” by Linkin Park begins to blast over the speakers! The crowd goes fucking ballistic, and the eyes of the OCW Champion grow wide as he stutter steps backward in the ring.~
Smith: JAMES RAVEN IS HERE! HERE COMES JAMES RAVEN!
Hood: What? NO! These aren’t “his terms”! Get him out of here!!!
~The crowd holds their collective breath in anticipation, finally relieved of the blue balls they’ve been feeling by standing up for the perennial no-showing James… but no one emerges from the backstage area.~
Smith: ...give us a moment, folks. Looks like we’re having technical difficulties. This is embarrassing.
~Five seconds. Ten seconds. Twenty seconds passes, a television eternity. But when the camera cuts back to the ring, Mike Best doesn’t look afraid-- he’s laughing. Taking the microphone from Belvedere, he doesn’t even want his victory against Kortare announced-- he just wants to address the crowd here tonight.~
Mike Best: Nope, he’s not here, folks.
~The cheers and confusion abruptly end, replaced by a booing crowd that might hate the OCW Champion more in this moment than they had ever before. The champion shakes his head, looking almost sad for them as he raises the microphone again.~
Mike Best: He’s not coming. He wasn’t here last week, he’s not here this week, and I doubt he’ll be here next week. Do you know why, OCW? It’s because the man you worship basically just because his official OCW bio tells you to says he’s not showing up unless “he so chooses”. That’s his quote, not mine. He’s running a bra and panties football team. He’s working as a rockstar, a model, a celebrity chef, and is on nineteen hit TV shows. He doesn’t have TIME for you. You aren’t a PRIORITY to him. But go ahead-- let’s give a big cheer to the guy who wants to take this belt and “embarrass OCW”, like he “does to all the other companies that invite him in”. His quotes, not mine. Go ahead, let’s hear it for James Raven, folks.
~There are some cheers for the crowd, but it’s getting pretty hard to argue with the rhetoric. The man has made zero effort to be here for the fans since winning the tournament at Block Party, and wrestling fans aren’t stupid-- they aren’t going to cheer for you just because you say that’s what you want in a pouty DM. Someone apologize to Aidan Collins for this narrative outburst, that was blurring the lines again!~
~Anyway the fans aren’t cheering very much. Sad.~
Mike Best: Get the fuck out of here with your hero worship. You have a fighting champion now. You have a champion who doesn’t back down. You have a champion who doesn’t stay home, or show up once every six weeks to collect his adoration. You have a REAL FUCKING CHAMP NOW, and you don’t have to like it-- but you’ll sure as fuck appreciate it. Now get this piece of shit out of my ring. He needs to go home and study.
~Mike Best drops to his back, leaving the microphone behind as he rolls out of the ring and begins heading back up the ramp in disgust. And this is where Will will add in all his post match stuff and edit some of my aggressiveness down to a level he is comfortable with. ~
Smith: Mike Best has no love for James Raven.
Hood: And why should he? The guy doesn't even work here! Yet he's hogging a main event slot at Not Safe For Work? Ed Houston, Mack O'Connor, Chad mother fucking Vargas...they'd all LOVE to have that spot...but, instead, it goes to some pretty boy who can't be bothered to show up unless something is on the line.
Smith: Tell us how you really feel!
Hood: Oh, that? That wasn't much, trust me man. I can go deeper but...I'd probably get pulled off air.
Smith: Nice to see you've learned to reel it in after all these years. Mike Best has looked unstoppable alongside the rest of his eMpire family. He's the OCW Champion and he has a date with James Raven on June 17th at Not Safe For Work. These two...well, they dislike each other is about the best way I can say it. Can they make it to June 17th? I'm hearing rumors this could explode before then...
~We cut backstage to the office of GM Marcus Welsh. Welsh is shaking his head after witnessing Kortare’s recent performance~
Marcus Welsh: I don’t know, Greg. I just don’t think Kortare has IT.
~Greg flashes a furtive smile. Kortare’s been something of a quasi romantic thorn in his side of late~
Marcus Welsh: He talks Hollywood…he talks VIP…but then he’s in Rehab. Then he’s out of Rehab. He talks more grand plans…but, then he’s getting his ass beat by Mike Best. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Greg: Of course not!
Marcus Welsh: I just think…it might be time to pull the plug. This Kortare investment seems to have gone belly up.
Greg: I understand, Marcus. If you’re feeling bad, just remember…he was hired while Zybala was in charge.
Marcus Welsh: You know something? You’re RIGHT! Zybala is to blame for this! Kortare is Zybala’s mistake and now that mistake has been eradicated from OCW!
~Greg claps, happily. Welsh leans back, kicking his feet up~
Marcus Welsh: Ah, it’s good to be the king.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: And I guess it’s official…Jason Kortare, Trav Morgan, and Aubrey Baxter have all been released from OCW.
Hood: Bummer
Smith: Indeed…oh well, at least our GM is happy.
Hood: Nothing like GM filler segments!
~The bright lights of the OCW Arena are replaced by flashing strobes at the entranceway as “It Doesn’t Seem to Matter” by Army of Anyone kicks in, and the fans in attendance lose their collective minds!~
Smith: We were told we’d be hearing from the former OCW Champion tonight, and from the sound of it, it’s happening right now!
Hood: “Former” is the key word, Smith! Don’t these fans understand that Paras is no longer the champ?
Smith: I don’t think that has changed their opinion of the two-time Hall of Famer whatsoever! Listen to this place!
~The Minnesota Messiah, Paul Paras, walks out onto the ramp and soaks in the cheers of his adoring fans. He wears his mirrored sunglasses, black jacket, and an OCW Hall of Fame t-shirt and holds the blue superhero mask of former OCW wrestler Blue Thunder in his right hand—the same mask he donned last week when he infiltrated the Maurako Family’s coronation ceremony. Paras gazes wistfully at the mask, then to the crowd, then makes his way to the ring.~
Smith: Paul Paras had one of the most improbable OCW returns in decades, coming back to the company in his 40s, winning Ultimate Survival, claiming his second OCW Championship, and becoming the first man to defeat both Matt Meyhu and Vincent Langston in singles action with amazing main event contests at Throwback and Social Justice. He put decades of bad blood with OCW management behind him and became a true representative of this company, both past and present!
Hood: That’s all true, but none of it mattered at Block Party. Mike Best became the first to pin Paras in an OCW ring in over 16 years, and he did it without any help whatsoever!
Smith: Without any help?! What match were you watching? Paras was blatantly cheated out of the Championship!
Hood: Open your eyes, Smith. Cecilworth M! and Max were both eliminated and Mike had to represent the eMpire like a champion should.
Smith: Sure, and instead he had assistance from The Marvel, who was supposed to be on Paras’ team, and Mario Maurako, who wasn’t even in the match!!
Hood: That’s KING Maurako, you peasant!
Smith: You’re ridiculous. We’ll just see what Paras has to say about the “King” after shutting down his coronation last week.
~Paras steps into the ring as collected as ever and is handed a microphone respectfully from Belvedere. His music fades out, but the cheers of his fans do not. Paul looks out into the masses for an extended minute as the noise of an appreciative crowd seems to move him. He calmly raises the mic to speak.~
Paul Paras: You have all known me for a long time, and you know I’m not one for emotionally-poignant statements. So, I’ll keep this succinct and grounded in this reality-- to everyone who has supported and believed in me during my OCW World Title run the past four months, it’s been an honor… thank you.
~The fans cheer even louder before a chant of “THANK YOU PAUL” breaks out and rumbles throughout the arena. Paras bows his head slightly in acknowledgement of their support.~
Paul Paras: It’s true that I am no longer the OCW Champion.
~The cheers turn to boos. Paras smirks.~
Paul Paras: But when one considers it took battling with three eMpire members, interference by Mario, a backstabbing Meyhu, and an incompetent referee just for Mike Best to hold my shoulders to the mat, I suppose one can’t feel too upset. All said, I wouldn’t have been able to beat Paul Paras fairly either.
~The cheers return. Paras’ expression grows more pensive.~
Paul Paras: Meyhu, I trusted that you would do the honorable thing and show the world that you were not the Aptitude coward you were when I first came back to OCW, but it appears I overestimated your manhood. You proved that you were simply a child, scared of what would happen if you were once again tasked with defeating the Minnesota Messiah. You feared failure. Rightfully so. Marvel, I suggest you take whatever little victory you gained from betraying me and hang it in your night’s sky to guide you home—because your sky will come crashing down soon. Trust me. And that brings us to… Mario Maurako.
~Paul paces the ring slowly as the crowd boos the name of Paras’ former Perfectly Marvelous partner.~
Paul Paras: At Block Party, our dear Mario made certain that he wouldn’t have to deal with me when he received his fated OCW World Title shot. The plan all came together… dare I say, perfectly for him. He was free to feed off Mike’s ego, have his dad put a ridiculous crown on his head, burn Perfectly Marvelous t-shirts, and show that the past 40 years of our brotherhood wasn’t enough for him to be happy for my success; instead, he continues to blame me for his lack of it. So, last week, during his little “coronation,” I had to see if, perhaps, he had a point…
~Paras raises the Blue Thunder mask to eye level.~
Paul Paras: For those under rocks, this mask was worn by a number of Maurako Family members over the years. His brother Marty wore it when we wrestled in EWA and here in OCW. Mario himself donned the mask for a time in HOW. How fitting, then, that his brother of four decades should wear it last week to see if the “King” really had surpassed the invisible ceiling he claims lingers above his head…
~Paul shrugs nonchalantly before coolly chucking the mask out of the ring and into the crowd. Some fans fight over it until Paras glances side-eyed at them, causing them to behave themselves. The Zen Master removes his sunglasses and turns to the camera with his esoteric gaze.~
Paul Paras: Mario, my eyes have seen eras of men rise and fall, and my spirit has warped minds across this mortal plane… but never have I seen someone as disillusioned as you. If you choose to have your legacy marred by this infantile war against an invisible enemy, then so be it. I’ve worked too hard to have your jealousy and bitterness interfere in my endless numbered days. You can burn PM’s memory to make you feel good about yourself, but you’ve got another thing coming if you think you can get rid of me that easily. So get out here and face me man-to-man… and let’s see who burns first.
Smith: Oh my! The challenge has been laid out, and this crowd is electric! Will Maurako accept?
Hood: Only if it’s on his royal schedule!
~King of the World by War*Hall hits and the fans rise and look up the ramp. A knight dressed in full regalia emerges and is followed by four men. The men are carrying a litter which holds a purple and gold throne, which King Mario is sitting in. The men slowly carry Mario to the ring, as he waves to the OCW fans.~
Hood: Stand up Smith! The King is approaching his ring!
Smith: I most certainly will not.
~The knight walks up the steps to the ring and enters as Paras grins and leans up against the ropes. The men carrying King Mario prop the litter up to the ring and Mario rises from his throne and steps off and onto the ring apron. The knight holds the ring ropes open as Mario steps between them being careful to hold his crown in place on top of his majestic head. Once in the ring Mario holds out his hand and one his men fetch him a microphone, and enter the ring and place it in his hand. The man exits the ring and then assists the others in carrying the litter to the back, as the knight stays in the ring with King Mario.~
King Maurako: You didn’t think the royal one would come out here alone did you? Last week you threw a spanner in the works when you ruined the royal coronation. Then this week, you come out here speaking all of this poppycock.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
FEEL GOO--FEEL GOO--FEEL GOO--
~King Mario is interrupted. His eyes grow wide as he turns his attention to the ramp.~
Smith: Oh my god, could it be?!
Hood: There’s no way it could be!
~Feel Good Inc. is cut off by static and G.O.A.T. by Polyphia begins to play as the letters “AgCN” pop up one by one on the screen. The fans go nuts! Out from behind the curtain steps none other than Silver Cyanide himself, looking like he’s 100% after his brutal assault at the hands of the eMpire at Social Justice. The fans pop even harder when they see that in his hands is a frying pan, full of dents and scratches from years of being swung into things. He pauses at the top of the ramp and stares down towards the ring with fire in his eyes, then begins to make his way down with a slow, purposeful walk.~
Smith: UNBELIEVABLE! We haven’t seen Silver Cyanide at an OCW event since Social Justice back in March!
Hood: I’m surprised he’s walking...the eMpire just about murdered him! Has he recovered fully in just two months?!
~Cyanide climbs up the steps to the ring as Mario glares at him from the opposite side and Paul watches with a smug look on his face. Cyanide’s eyes haven’t left Mario’s since he came out from behind the curtain. He climbs through the ropes and steps up, equidistant between the two members of the late, great Perfectly Marvelous. Mario squares up to him, not an iota of fear in his eyes, despite the fact that he is essentially a cornered animal. The source of his confidence, the First Knight of Maurako, stands, arms folded, behind Mario, making sure nobody gets out of line.~
Smith: Knightly protection aside, this is looking really bad for Mario right now! Two former OCW Champions he stabbed in the back are ready to destroy him!
Hood: The rest of the Maurako Islands better get out here fast if they don’t want to see their King laid flat!
~Paul steps towards Cyanide and graciously offers him the microphone. Cyanide holds his hand up towards him to silently say no, before spinning his frying pan loosely in his hands, his eyes still locked with Mario’s. Paul raises his hands as if to say, “Sure, no problem,” and steps back again. Mario takes a step towards Cyanide, who mirrors him. The fans begin to scream. Paul continues to watch, smugly. The knight shows little in the way of emotion.~
Smith: You can cut the tension in the air here with a knife!
Hood: Or fry it in a frying pan!
Smith: ...That doesn’t make ANY sense, Hood.
Hood: YOUR MOM DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.
~Mario takes another step towards Cyanide. Cyanide takes another step towards Mario. They stand within striking distance now. With a lazy toss, Mario drops his microphone behind him and the fans begin to cheer again. Paul takes a slow step forward, holds out a hand, and raises his own mic to his lips.~
Paul Paras: Now, gentlemen, I think the three of us should really discuss--
~With a sudden strike, Cyanide swings the frying pan at Mario’s head...but Mario ducks! As Mario quickly retreats to his knight in the corner, Cyanide deftly carries his momentum into a 360, re-plants his feet...and delivers a superkick to the chin of Paul Paras!!! The crowd lets out a collective gasp as Cyanide stands over the prone body of Paul, who is flat on his back, his eyes staring up empty at the lights. In the corner, Mario’s jaw drops.~
Smith: What the hell?!
Hood: Whoa!! What’s the meaning of this?!
Smith: Cyanide just laid out... Paul Paras!!
Hood: Is Cyanide...aligning himself with Mario?!
~Cyanide continues to stare down at Paul, who continues to stare at the ceiling. Mario stares back and forth between both of them in shock before slowly stepping out of the corner. He points toward Paul’s body and the First Knight takes a couple of cautious steps towards the prone Minnesota Messiah to get a closer look. The crowd is buzzing. They don’t know what to think.~
Smith: This doesn’t make any sense...Cyanide has sided with Paul this entire time! He kept saying his intentions were noble, just trying to help Mario! And now…
Hood: And now former two-time OCW Champ Paul Paras got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!
~The Knight nods back to Mario. The King takes another cautious step towards the body of Paul, who lets out a groan and begins to flex his arms and legs experimentally, clearly in pain. Cyanide continues to stare down at him, smirking. Mario’s face slowly transforms from a look of shock to a manic smile. He begins to laugh maniacally, throwing his head back, then turns to Cyanide and holds his arms out in a sign of welcome...until Cyanide takes his frying pan and smacks it across Mario’s jaw, laying him out flat!!! The crowd howls as Mario’s crown goes tumbling out of the ring and to the floor.!~
Smith: Cyanide just flattened Mario too!!
Hood: Oh my god! This is absurd! What is Cyanide doing?! He’s gonna get himself killed!!
~The First Knight turns toward Cyanide, enraged, and charges at him in defense of his king. Cyanide sees him coming and pulls down the top rope, sending the knight barreling to the outside of the ring with a crash! With Mario and Paul in crumpled heaps on the mat, Cyanide slowly backs towards the ropes, climbs between them, and begins to stalk back up the ramp as the fans watch him with their jaws hanging wide open. Cyanide holds up his frying pan to look at it, smirks again, and shoves his way past the OCW cameraman and through the curtain and backstage once again.~
Smith: What did we just SEE? Silver Cyanide is back, but this was an unpredictable, even for him!
~We cut back to the GM office of Marcus Welsh. Is this really how his reign is going to go? Random cut backs of filler?~
Marcus Welsh: Have you seen this shit, Greg?
Greg: I don’t enjoy scatological elements, Marcus.
Marcus Welsh: I’m talking about Twitter. Look at this shit! King Infinity is somehow involved…what the hell is going on?
~Greg looks and mouths the words ‘oh my’~
Marcus Welsh: This is bad for business. We can’t have this…not for another six or so weeks anyway. That’s it…we’re moving this OCW Title match ahead.
Greg: Ohh, really?
Marcus Welsh: Yea, I’ve got to get these two away from each other as soon as possible…so, on June 3rd Mike Best will defend the OCW Championship against James Raven.
Greg: Oh wow
Marcus Welsh: And as for Not Safe For Work…well, we’ll have to figure that out in the coming weeks.
~We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Best and Raven are going to do battle on June 3rd!
Hood: That shit is so vile…so vitriolic that it needs to happen sooner, rather than later.
Smith: Indeed…there’s good heat and then there’s bad heat. I think we’ve ventured into the realm of bad heat with this OCW Title feud.
Hood: No shit
Smith: Well fans on the heels of that quick yet impactful announcement…let’s toss it to the ring for tonight’s Main Event. Kitty Petrova is set to defend her OCW Paradigm Championship against Hard Luck Hayley Robinson!
|
|
Main Event
OCW Paradigm Championship
Title vs. Career
Kitty Petrova © (6-0) vs. Hayley Robinson (13-7)
~The crowd is on their feet with great anticipation. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the Paradigm Championship defended. It’s owner, Kitty Petrova, has wrestled with the OCW Champion more times than she’s wrestled inside an OCW ring since winning the coveted strap. That, however, all comes to a close in a few moments. Belvedere stands inside the ring looking dapper and professional (AS ALWAYS). He clears his majestic throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a title versus career match! If Kitty Petrova wins, Hayley Robinson must retire from OCW. If Hayley Robinson wins, then she walks away the NEW OCW Paradigm Champion!! This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~'Mouth for War' by Pantera hits. The fans go wild! Hayley Robinson emerges from behind the curtain. She appears focused. Her anger, her frustration, her youthful rage have all been concentrated on the task at hand. She rushes down the ramp and slides into the ring. The fans chant “HAYLEY!” She does not respond, bouncing around, warming up, keeping her focus on the ramp~
Belvedere: From Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’7 and weighing in at 130lbs…Hayley Robinson!!!
Smith: This could be the final time we see Hayley inside an OCW ring.
Hood: Don’t get my hopes up.
Smith: I really wish emotions hadn’t got the better of her. Can she win? Absolutely. But Kitty Petrova is one of the best competitors in OCW…losing here would not be a big deal.
Hood: Yea but she’s made it a big deal. Kitty’s got a little Mike Best in her…she doesn’t want to just beat you; she wants to ruin you.
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~The lights fade to blood red, and the screen comes to life with heavy static, showing a silhouette of a woman standing in a barren warehouse, smoking a cigarette. The haunting lyrics of "I Am The Fire" by Halestorm fade up in volume over the sound system, almost drowned out by booing. The scenes flow between shots of Kitty’s life outside the ring, to match footage revealing a dark-haired woman beating the holy hell out of both men and women. The veteran herself steps out at the top of the ramp alone, her head bowed with her hair hanging in her face. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she strides purposefully towards the ring, pausing every few feet to glare haughtily at the fans that have the audacity to try and reach out to touch her. She slides under the bottom rope, languidly doing a very cat-like yoga stretch while the crowd showers her with hatred. She seems utterly oblivious although there’s definite malice in her eyes as she pulls her hair back into a messy ponytail, securing it with a plain black elastic band~
Belvedere: From Napa Valley, California…standing 5’6 ½ and weighing in at 125lbs…she is the OCW Paradigm Champion…Kitty Petrova!!!
~Petrova calmly removes her Paradigm Championship, handing it over to Belvedere who exits. She’s blatantly ignoring Hayley. Hayley continues to stare daggers in Kitty’s direction~
Smith: Look at Kitty…she thinks she’s better than everyone else.
Hood: Because she is
Smith: Yea, right…nobody is that perfect!
~Kitty has yet to acknowledge Hayley’s presence. The bell sounds. The fans pop! Hayley rushes toward Kitty. Finally, Kitty reacts…she pulls Scruff in between them demanding to keep Hayley at bay until Kitty is ready. The fans boo. Kitty backs into her corner, stretching a bit. Hayley places her hands on her hips, shaking her head. Scruff moves out of Hayley’s way. Hayley debates rushing Kitty…but she decides against it~
Smith: Hayley seems to have an opening here.
Hood: Her brain is malfunctioning…not a surprise. If you listen to her speak, it’s obvious the damn thing malfunctions consistently.
Smith: I think you’re wrong, Hood. I think she recognizes a potential trap…she’s showing some in-ring awareness.
~Kitty finishes limbering up and finally looks Hayley in the eye. She heads toward her younger adversary. She greets her in the center of the ring. Hayley starts talking shit. Kitty’s response is limited in speech…but her body language pulls no punches. It’s apparent she feels superior to Hayley in every way. Kitty gives Hayley an arrogant push~
Smith: The lack of respect is disgusting!
Hood: Well how about Hayley do something about it?
Smith: I have no doubt she’ll try.
~Hayley shoves Kitty back! Kitty staggers. Kitty seems unmoved, emotionally. She steps up and delivers a forearm shot to the side of Hayley’s head. Hayley’s head jerks to its right. Her light blonde hair is covering her dark, angry eyes. She slowly turns her head back around and delivers a forearm blow of her own!! It staggers Kitty! Kitty reaches up, grabbing her jawline and looking down at Hayley with surprise. Hayley’s threatening gaze does not linger~
Smith: What a shot! She rocked the champion, I think.
Hood: Just a bit of a wake-up call, that’s it…nothing more.
Smith: Kitty had better start taking this more seriously.
Hood: Relax! She’s gonna be fine.
~Kitty reaches out, grabbing Hayley in a clinch. She throws dangerously placed knees at Hayley’s head. Hayley yells and breaks free! She stuns Kitty with left and right palm strikes into the chin. Kitty’s head and ponytail bounce around in correspondence with every blow. Kitty backs up against the ropes. Hayley shoots her off the ropes. Kitty reverses and throws a knee into Hayley’s gut! Hayley flips over, landing on the mat, grabbing her stomach in pain~
Smith: Dang it!
Hood: And let the flood gates open! End her career!
Smith: Keep fighting, Hayley!
~Kitty takes a few steps back. Hayley sits up, her back to Petrova. Kitty charges forward and flips ahead for a rolling neck snap. Hayley rolls backward, avoiding the move. She rotates backward, onto her knees. Kitty manages to tuck and roll forward, getting to her feet, quickly. Her back facing Hayley. Hayley springs forward. Kitty turns around…Hayley throws a lariat…Kitty ducks and lifts Hayley up, over the top rope, onto the apron. Kitty throws a mule kick…Hayley catches it and throws the leg back into the ring. Kitty is staggered. She turns around and receives a kick to the side of the head!!! Petrova stumbles in the center of the ring. Hayley jumps up and springboards off the top rope…Kitty catches Hayley, spins around and plants Robinson into the mat with a slam!! The crowd sighs with disappointment…they are ready to explode for Hayley~
Smith: Fast-paced sequence there…we’re seeing both women at their best. Hayley’s trying to out quick…outsmart Kitty, but that’s going to be hard to achieve.
Hood: Kitty Petrova is arguably the smartest wrestler in OCW. Paul Paras is up there…Matt Meyhu…Mike Best…and many others, but Kitty is in the discussion. A rookie trying to ‘outsmart’ her is not the best strategy.
Smith: She’s doing well but, yes, so far Kitty’s been able to stymie Hayley’s offense by hitting an impact move.
~Kitty rises to her feet with great equanimity as she stares down at the youngster. Kitty kicks at Hayley mimicking an animal playing with its food. She rears back to throw a devastating kick but Hayley catches her leg!!! Hayley tries to twist Kitty around into an ankle lock!! Kitty, hopping on one leg, manages to reach the ropes. Scruff comes in, forcing a break. Hayley lets go while popping to her feet. Kitty turns around and eats a clothesline from Hayley!!! Kitty nearly goes over the top rope, but she’s able to remain in the ring by hooking her arms over the rope. Hayley is undeterred. She yells and rushes at Kitty…Kitty greets her with a kick into the gut~
Smith: Hayley is trying and trying and trying but she can’t get one up on Petrova.
Hood: She’s not at Kitty’s level yet, Smith. She’s only been doing this for…shit, less than a year?
Smith: She is a rookie, sure…but at some point, you’d hope she’d break through
Hood: Not tonight, my friend.
~Hayley doubles over. Kitty hooks Hayley around the waist looking for a piledriver or powerbomb. Hayley fights back, realizing the potential impact either move would offer. She raises, violently, the back of her head hitting Kitty in the jaw!! Kitty is stunned. Hayley hits the ropes, bounces off and leaps into the air, looking for a sunset flip. Kitty catches her!! Petrova swings Hayley toward the mat with an Alabama Slam…on the way down, Hayley grabs Kitty’s head and drops her with a DDT!!! The crowd goes wild!! Both women are down~
Smith: Yes! What a counter by Hayley!
Hood: How dare she attempt to damage Kitty’s face! Just because Hayley has to wear a pound of black fucking makeup doesn’t give her the right to go around fucking up a natural beauty like Petrova!
Smith: Its competition, Hood! She’s doing what she must!
~Hayley doesn’t stay down long, realizing she needs to do everything in her power to maintain an advantage. Kitty, face down, starts trying to push up. Robinson, back on her feet, leans into the ropes, she shoots off and delivers a Front Dropkick into Kitty’s ribcage! Kitty flips over, onto her back. Hayley pops back to her feet…she dives on top of Kitty, attaining a near-full mount and begins to throw lefts and rights at Kitty’s head! The fans are on their feet, cheering Hayley on! Kitty does her best to cover up…Hayley is relentless! Scruff looks in, checking to make sure Kitty is defending herself~
Smith: Hayley is giving Kitty what for!
Hood: Why?
Smith: Huh?
Hood: What for?
Smith: I…don’t know?
~Kitty’s in trouble! She rolls over, giving up her back…Hayley hooks her legs and snares Kitty around the head, locking in a Rear Naked Choke!! Hayley rolls over, onto her back. Kitty is laying on top of Hayley…her face is turning red. Hayley’s got this rear naked choke locked in deep. Kitty, utilizing her size and experience advantage, manages to kick her legs up and down a few times, gaining some momentum before rolling over, on top of Hayley! Hayleys’ shoulders are down…Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Wow! From that position, Kitty was nearly able to win the match!
Hood: She’s so good.
Smith: The pin attempt forced Hayley to break the hold.
Hood: Again, so good.
~Kitty falls backward, onto her ass. She backslides into a corner, coughing, holding onto her throat. Her face is red, irritated from Hayley’s punches. Hayley sits up; her eyes are full of anger. She pops to her feet locating the vulnerable Paradigm Champion in the nearby corner. She charges in, leaping into the air for a double knee stomp. Kitty moves! Hayley’s knees slam into the bottom buckle. Kitty pops to her feet, grabs Hayley and takes her down with an Inverted DDT!! Hayley is down!! Kitty leans back against the bottom rope, continuing to recover from the punishment Hayley has dished out~
Smith: Hayley acting a little overeager and it backfired.
Hood: Yea, there isn’t a situation that exists within this sport that Kitty Petrova has yet to encounter.
Smith: She’s got the experience edge, for sure.
Hood: Hayley’s going to have to turn in a near flawless performance from this point forward if she wants to have a shot at winning.
~Kitty uses the ropes to pull herself up. She grabs Hayley and drags her toward the center of the ring. Kitty positions herself at Hayley’s feet. She lifts them up and begins the process of locking in a Sharpshooter. Hayley kicks her in the ass. Kitty stumbles forward. Hayley rolls onto all fours and sprints to her feet, shooting forward in the opposite direction. Kitty turns around. Hayley leaps into the air, she lands on the ropes and springboards off, looking for a back elbow. Kitty catches her and takes her down with a Reverse Russian Leg Sweep!! Hayley’s face slams into the mat!! The crowd boos! Kitty rolls her over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Hayley kicked out of a trademark maneuver Kitty calls Ego Trip!
Hood: WHAT?!
Smith: Yes, I know
Hood: You know Meyhu is seeing LIME right now
~Kitty pops back to her feet. She’s not letting a near fall deter her focus. Kitty pulls Hayley to her feet, measuring her up. She’s looking for Bitch Kick!! Kitty lunges forward with Bitch Kick! Hayley ducks, grabs Kitty by the ponytail as she stumbles past, jumps into the air and drops her to the mat via ponytail pull! The crowd goes wild!! Scruff looks down at Kitty who is holding the back of her head in pain. He’s not exactly sure what to make of the move~
Smith: The resourceful Hayley Robinson!
Hood: Resourceful? That was cheating!
Smith: I think we can give her a pass.
Hood: Holy shit! You rule bending, biased mother fucker.
~Hayley sits up. Her hands reach up, holding her face. She checks her palm for blood…but it’s clean. She gets to her feet. Kitty is on her knees, her hands are holding her head as though she’s suffering a headache. Hayley hits the ropes…she charges in Kitty’s direction. Kitty gets to one knee. Hayley sprints past Kitty, hitting the ropes a second time. Kitty gets to her feet…Hayley flies through the air, grabs Kitty by the head and drives her face down into the mat with a Bulldog!! Kitty is down…but Hayley isn’t done, yet~
Smith: Go for the pin, Hayley!
Hood: I think she’s afraid Mike Best will get mad if she beats his woman.
Smith: Oh please, that’s the furthest thing from her mind.
Hood: You talking shit about Mike?!
~Hayley heads for the nearest corner. She begins the climb. The fans cheer her on. Kitty looks up, we see confusion in her eyes. Her head has taken quite a beating in a very short span. Hayley is on the top rope, behind Kitty. Kitty gets to her feet. Hayley leaps off, grabs Kitty’s head and slams her into the mat with a second bulldog…this one with way more impact and force than the first!!! Kitty is face down!! The ring shakes from impact!! The fans are going wild. Hayley turns around and crawls over…she gets Kitty onto her back and makes the cover. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Smith: The Paradigm Champion stays alive!
Hood: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Smith: Please, spare me the BeeGees humor.
Hood: If you ask Mike Best he’d say Kitty is More Than a Woman…more than a woman to hiiiiiim
Smith: STAHP
~Hayley pops back to her feet. She looks around…the crowd is firmly behind her. She coils, poised. Kitty is slow to her feet. Hayley grows impatient, reaching out and grabbing Kitty by the arm, yanking her up. Hayley spins around, looking for Hell Awaits (Discus Lariat)…Kitty performs a V-Trigger Knee right into Hayley’s arm!!! Robinson grabs her arm, bending over. Kitty takes a step back before stepping ahead and putting her foot through Hayley’s face with Bitch Kick!!! Hayley’s body snaps to the mat!! Kitty drops to her knees, holding her aching head~
Smith: Kitty Petrova put Hayley Robinson in the hospital with a concussion several weeks ago. Karma seems to be handing its receipt to Kitty Petrova tonight.
Hood: What are you talking about? She just kicked Hayley’s mascara right off her fucking face…and, man, that’s a shit load of mascara!
Smith: Well, yes, that kick was vicious
~Kitty rises, slowly. Her teeth are grit. She’s fighting through the pain squeezing her head. Hayley gets to her feet. Kitty turns toward the ropes…she jumps up, balances on the top rope and springboards off looking for Hell Hat No Fury (720 DDT)!!! She leaps off and reaches out to grab Hayley’s head. Hayley moves!! Kitty’s feet hit the mat. She stumbles forward. Hayley turns around…Kitty throws a punch, Hayley grabs Kitty’s arm and twists it around into a hammerlock. She grabs Kitty’s head and drops her with a hammerlock inverted DDT!!! Kitty hits hard!! She reaches, instantly for the back of her head! Hayley tries to cover her, but Kitty is already in the ropes~
Smith: Great counter by Hayley! This might be the best version of Hayley Robinson we’ve seen!
Hood: She’s giving Kitty more than I thought she would, that’s for sure.
Smith: Kitty’s head is pounding. I can’t imagine competing inside a wrestling ring with a headache.
Hood: That’s because you are a gaping vag of a ‘man’.
Smith: Hey!
~Kitty rolls onto the apron…she’s on her back, rubbing the sides of her head. Hayley returns to her feet. Kitty fights with the ropes, struggling to her feet. Hayley sees an opportunity. Hayley fires up, takes a step back and charges at Kitty, who is on her feet. Hayley drills Kitty in the head with a Yakuza Kick!!! Kitty goes flying off the apron into the barricade…her shoulder SLAMS into the side of the barricade!! The fans at ringside all jump back!! Kitty is down!! The fans are going wild! Hayley storms around the ring, feeding off the crowd. Scruff begins the count “ONE!”~
Smith: South of Heaven!! She just blasted Kitty in her aching head with South of Heaven!
Hood: Yea but the dumb bitch kicked her OUTSIDE the ring…she can’t win the title via count-out.
Smith: That…that’s true!
Hood: Another mistake by Hayley in a big match. She’s the Bill Buckner of OCW!
~Scruff yells “TWO!” Hayley comes to a stop, staring through the ropes at Kitty. The Paradigm Champion is down, laying up against the barricade. She isn’t moving…aside from her face, which winces due to the pain coursing through her head. Scruff yells “THREE!” Hayley looks at Scruff then back out at Kitty, who remains in place~
Smith: The title cannot change hands via count out
Hood: She’d better get moving, then. Or, ya know…maybe just take the count out. She gets to keep wrestling and the Paradigm Title stays where it belongs…a win-win!
Smith: Uh, no
~Scruff yells “FOUR!” Hayley realizes Kitty is either playing possum or she’s really out…either way Hayley has to make something happen if she’s leaving with that Paradigm Championship. Scruff yells “FIVE!” Hayley steps through the ropes and hops onto the floor from the apron. She hurries toward Kitty. She slaps Kitty around, trying to wake her up. Kitty is groggy and pain riddled. Hayley grabs Kitty by the pony tail, yanking her up. Scruff yells “SIX!” The discomfort Kitty is experiencing can be read across her face. Hayley starts to drag Kitty near the ring via the ponytail. Scruff yells “SEVEN!”~
Smith: This is going to be close.
Hood: Kitty might need to let that hair down.
Smith: Hayley has exploited the ponytail.
Hood: She’s not dumb…but that is a smart move.
Smith: Sounds like a contradiction.
Hood: Nah, dumb people do smart things sometimes
~Hayley has Kitty at ringside. She yanks her up, getting Kitty’s arms draped over the apron. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” Hayley’s sweating profusely manipulating the dead weight of Kitty Petrova. She gets one leg up. She works on the other. Scruff yells “NINE!” The fans are screaming “HURRY UP!!” Hayley rolls Kitty in under the bottom rope~
Smith: Hayley’s got to get back in there!
Hood: Haha she’s going to lose via countout! What a moron!
~Hayley dives in right before the ten count!! The crowd goes wild!! She sits up against the bottom buckle in the nearest corner, gasping for air, watching Kitty, who remains down. She picks herself up and heads Kitty’s way. She grabs Kitty by the ponytail, yanking her to a standing position. Hayley spins around looking for Hell Awaits!! Kitty ducks!! Kitty picks Hayley up and hits an Atomic Drop!! Hayley bounces forward, into the ropes…she turns around and eats BITCH KICK!! Her body falls backward, into the ropes. The ropes bounce her forward…she stumbles ahead. Kitty hits the opposite ropes, she jumps off and smacks Hayley in the face with Equality!!! Hayley crumbles to the mat!! Kitty rubs her head before crawling over and making the cover~
1!
2!
3!!
NO!
Smith: Hayley kicked out!
Hood: Fuck.
Smith: She came to fight tonight!
Hood: Alright no more fucking around, Kitty. End this bitch.
~Kitty leans forward, holding her head. Hayley rolls away, under the bottom rope onto the apron. She rubs her jaw and shakes her head…her eyes seem rattled. Kitty fights through the excruciating headache she’s experiencing. She gets to her feet. Hayley gets to hers, as well…on the apron. Kitty charges at Hayley…Hayley tries to leapfrog over Kitty via the ropes as a springing mechanism…Kitty catches Hayley and turns around for a powerbomb…Hayley turns it into a hurricanrana…but Kitty holds on! Kitty hoists Hayley back up…Hayley flips over for a Sunset flip!!! Kitty grabs Hayleys legs and leans forward, pinning her to the mat!! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!
NOOOO
Smith: Hayley kicked out at the last second!
Hood: FUCK FUCK FUCK
Smith: That’s how Paras won Death March!! Hayley survived an almost inescapable predicament!
~Kitty looks at Scruff. She can’t believe Kitty kicked out…she one-upped the rookie…she schooled the kid. This should be OVER. But, Scruff holds up two fingers…his signature peace sign that foretells of anything but. Kitty is pissed…Hayley is returning to her feet. Kitty slaps Hayley across the face…she blows her a kiss and hits an uppercut!! Kitty takes off toward the ropes…but Hayley grabs her by the ponytail!!! She spins Kitty around via the ponytail and drills her with HELL AWAITS!!!! Kitty hits hard!! She tries to sit up, but can’t…her eyes show that she’s fucked up. Hayley dives on top of her…the fans count along~
1!
2!
3!
NOOOO
Smith: Kitty with the shoulder up!
Hood: She kicked out of Hell Awaits…even after Hayley yanked on her fucking ponytail again!
Smith: This is insane…these two women are kicking out of everything.
Hood: Not everything…not yet…Kitty’s saving her best for last.
~Kitty still seems out of it. The shoulder up might have been more instinct than anything cognitive. Hayley looks down at the mat…doubt is in her eyes. She’s close to blowing another opportunity. Can she win at this level? Is she this good or is she merely a stepping stone? Kitty rises to her feet…she reaches for Hayley but stumbles backward…her equilibrium is fucked. She may be concussed. Hayley looks up, seeing Kitty slouched in the corner. Hayley fires up…that fight remains. She charges forward with her signature Yakuza Kick (Slice of Heaven)!!! Kitty moves!!! Hayley’s leg gets hung up on the rope…Kitty spins around, hooks Hayley’s arm and tosses her over with a bridging Dragon Suplex!!! Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Hayley stays alive!
Hood: Even with a concussion the size of a Marvel movie budget Kitty is still aware enough to dodge Hayley’s finishing maneuver!
Smith: She’s the champion for a reason, Hood.
~Kitty rolls over after Hayley kicks out, maintaining the Full Nelson. She gets to her feet, looking to throw Hayley around with another Dragon Suplex. Hayley tosses her head back, smacking it into Kitty’s!! Kitty lets go…she’s wobbled. Her knees are weak. Hayley spins around looking for a second Hell Awaits!! Kitty catches her and drops Hayley with a SPINEBUSTER!!! The ring shakes from impact. Kitty remains down. Hayley is down…the fans are on their feet cheering both women on~
Smith: Hayley cannot land the death blow!
Hood: I’m telling you, Kitty is too good.
Smith: You might be right…for as far as Hayley has come…for as talented as she is…it takes talent AND experience to hang with the likes of Kitty Petrova.
~Hayley sits up and backslides against the bottom rope. She shakes her head…her eyes appear sad. She’s saying “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t do this.” Kitty has her forehead on the mat; she’s rubbing the back of her neck trying to numb the pain for just a little while longer~
Smith: Kitty is hurt, Hood. But Hayley seems to be experiencing self-doubt.
Hood: Every single time she’s reached this position she’s failed. Wouldn’t you be doubting yourself right now?
Smith: It’d be hard not to.
Hood: Yep…and Kitty is rejecting everything Hayley is throwing her way. Hayley cannot finish her off…Kitty is too tough.
~Hayley’s eyes focus. She spots something. Our POV switches…we see a familiar individual wearing a hood. He’s made his way front row. Fans turn and look at him. He slowly removes the hood~
Smith: Hood!! That’s Madman Szalinsky II!
Hood: Why’d he take off the mask? PUT THE MASK BACK ON, BROTHER!
Smith: I think the bigger question is why…what is he doing here?
~He nods at Hayley. She nods back…her fears…her trepidation fades. She fights to her feet. Kitty remains down~
Smith: He’s here to give Hayley a much-needed boost in confidence!
Hood: HEY! No cheerleading! That’s illegal!
Smith: No it’s not! This is what friends are for, Hood!
~Hayley yells out!! Kitty rises. Hayley runs at Kitty throwing her famed Yakuza Kick!! Kitty ducks!! Hayley hits the ropes. Kitty spins around and throws a stiff kick into Hayley’s back. Kitty takes off…she rushes for the ropes…she steps onto the apron, hops up and springboards off the top with Hell Hath No Fury!!!! Hayley drops to a knee, evading Kitty’s grasp. Kitty hits hard…her knees jam. She stumbles and turns around into the nearest corner…Hayley comes flying in with South of Heaven!!!! She backs up!!! Kitty stumbles forward…Hayley spins around and nearly takes Kitty’s head off with HELL AWAITS!!! Kitty hits hard!! Hayley covers her…Scruff slides in…the fans all count along!!!~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings! The OCW Arena goes crazy~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND NEW OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…HAYLEY ROBINSON!!!!!
Smith: She did it!! I can’t believe it!
Hood: Are you fucking serious? That bitch just subverted the Paradigm Division!
Smith: Who cares? She earned it, Hood! She EARNED IT!
Hood: I fucking quit…this SUCKS
~Hayley looks around, almost in disbelief. We see Madman II clapping from ringside. Scruff receives the Paradigm Championship; he heads toward Hayley. Hayley looks up at him, in disbelief. Scruff extends a hand, helping her up. He extends the belt. Hayley looks down at it, pulling the sweat-soaked hair from her exhausted face~
Smith: Take it! You’ve earned it, Hayley. You have earned it.
Hood: There’s going to be hell to pay, Smith. HELL
~Hayley reaches to take it…when Kitty reaches over and grabs it instead!! The fans boo!! Kitty, holding her head with one hand and the belt with the other, glares at Hayley. Hayley seems stunned by the moment, unable to react. Kitty rears back with the belt to hit Hayley in the face. The fans pop!!! Madman II hops the barricade and slides into the ring~
Smith: Madman isn’t going to allow THIS to happen…not on Hayley’s night!
Hood: Hit her, Kitty! Give her another concussion so she has to forfeit the belt!
~Madman II rips the belt from Kitty, who seems unaware of his presence. Kitty turns around. Madman threatens to hit her…she drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Kitty looks up, holding her aching head. Madman stands near the ropes in case she tries to re-enter. But, Kitty is done with them…she turns and heads up the ramp, continuing to hold her head~
Smith: Kitty suffered some major head damage in this one. Let’s hope she’s okay.
Hood: No shit, man. There are MILLIONS in Kitty as the face of this company. There are literally dozens of dollars in Hayley as the face.
Smith: Keep saying stuff like that…she’ll continue to prove you wrong.
~Madman turns to Hayley and extends the belt. Hayley takes the belt and raises it high in the air!! The fans go wild!! “Hayley! Hayley!” Madman claps and points at Hayley, ensuring she gets all the acclaim~
Smith: Hayley Robinson has shocked the world by dethroning Kitty Petrova and becoming the NEW Paradigm Champion!
Hood: I can’t believe it…this was a fucking layup that Kitty somehow bricked. Fuck my life.
Smith: There are no layups in OCW.
Hood: I’m out.
Smith: Well for Hood, I’m Smith saying so long…and congratulations to Hayley Robinson…well deserved!!
~Our final shot is of Hayley celebrating in the ring with the Paradigm Championship. We fade to black~