OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, January 7th 2019
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Ah what a lovely opening! Nothing like remembering the (recent) past. We finish taking stock of what we’ve built over the last year and quickly focus our energy on the road ahead. Things have never been brighter in OCW. The roster is full of talented competitors. More and more are joining by the day. Mike Zybala has ended Marcus Welsh’s tyrannical rule. Sugar Valentine is offering seventy-five percent discounts to all Key West virgins and, as if that weren’t enough, The Knife Man has cleaned his mask. 2019 is setting up to be the best year in OCW history!! We take a seat on the couch ready for action. Death March was amazing. The Year End Awards was a nice way to put the year to bed. It’s time to see where the short, bombastic road to Throwback takes us. We cut to a shot of the OCW Arena!! The fans are crazy! They are like starved Ethiopian children with bread and water hanging just out of reach! Feed these people!!! We cut to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always, is Hood!
Hood: Survived another year!
Smith: Somehow, someway we did. The last time you saw us was at Death March
Hood: Year End Awards Show
Smith: Technically, you are correct. But, for the sake of where I’m going we’re going to pretend it was Death March. The last time you guys saw us we were broadcasting live from Canada as Perfect Paul Paras went on to defeat 31 other competitors to claim the inaugural Death March victory!
Hood: Yep and now he gets to face the greatest wrestler in OCW history, Matt Meyhu
Smith: Matt Meyhu defeated Syren. He won Wrestler of the Year and he was inducted into the OCW Hall of Fame. There is nothing left for Meyhu to accomplish, it would seem…
Hood: Oh, but there is. Back at Stainless Steel Ride in 2017 Matt Meyhu lost the tag titles to Paul Paras
Smith: Mario Maurako and TIO were involved in that match as well
Hood: Yep, but all Meyhu is focused on is Paras. Paras bested him at Stainless Steel Ride. They haven’t met since
Smith: Hood isn’t telling any lies, folks. But…but…BUT Meyhu gets his crack at avenging his loss against Paras at Throwback
Hood: And, at the same time, Paras gets his shot at dethroning Meyhu and staking his claim as the greatest wrestler in OCW by winning the OCW Championship for the second time in his storied career
Smith: It is, without a doubt, the biggest match of 2019
Hood: You’re such an idiot
Smith: Another major story coming out of Death March was the performance of King Infinity. I’m no fan of Aidan Collins…or, well, to be more precise…I’m no fan of the way he was pushed by the previous regime. Collins, however, did put in the most impressive performance of the night and showed everyone why Welsh put such faith in him
Hood: I think he should be in the Paras/Meyhu match. Make it a Triple Threat!
Smith: There are people pushing that narrative. However, Zybala’s first act as commissioner was to pit King Infinity against Vincent Langston in a Number One Contender’s Match at Throwback. Langston, if you all remember, partnered up with King Infinity in the Death March finale, shouldering a heavy load only to be double crossed by Collins right near the end.
Hood: Langston is still learning the wicked ways of pro wrestling. That’s a lesson he won’t soon forget. He can thank King Infinity later
Smith: Two epic matches already scheduled for Throwback with many more to be announced! It’s a short road to Throwback but we’re ready!
Hood: I was born ready
Hood: Wooooo!
Smith: From the sounds of it, the OCW Champion is here to kick things off tonight!
~’Can’t Tell Me Nothing’ by Kanye West hits the speakers and the lights dim. A green spotlight shines on at the top of the ramp. It reveals the OCW Champion, Matt Meyhu! He’s got the title around his waist and a smile on his face. The fans stand and applaud the champ! A rare show of respect. The lights come back on to full and Matt’s manager, Ezra Rosenberg, can be spotted behind him. Meyhu struts down the aisle confidently as Ezra pushes a wheelbarrow full of awards down to the ring behind the champion. In Meyhu’s hands is an object under a black cloth.~
Smith: Oh, brother.
Hood: Hard Work pays off! Here comes the champ with all his new hardware!
Smith: Every last bit of it.
~Meyhu enters the ring and poses for the fans and Ezra parks the wheelbarrow. He tries to enter the ring, but Meyhu motions for him to stay with the goods. The music fades out as Meyhu is handed a microphone. The fans again sends some cheers toward the OCW champion.~
Matt Meyhu: And a Happy New Year to you too!
~Meyhu looks around, grinning from ear to ear as Ezra offers up some fake applause.~
Matt Meyhu: Anybody do anything fun over the break?!
~The fans begin to shout out activities. It’s hard to make out any one particular thing. Meyhu and Ezra shrug at each other before the champion intervenes.~
Matt Meyhu: I’m sure it was all great, but that was sort of a rhetorical question… Just a simple segue into what YOUR OCW Champion was doing! I’m sure every single one of you tuned in to the award show last week!
~The fans go wild! Anyone who's anyone saw it!~
Matt Meyhu: Congratulations to Ed Houston! Really cleaned up, huh? Mr. Popularity over here.
~More cheers pour in for the Rocketman. Meyhu smirks and nods.~
Matt Meyhu: And let’s not forget the night’s other big winner… Me! ‘The Marvel’ practically lived on that stage, didn’t he? Well deserved, I must say. You know, I would say I won a truckload of awards last week, but as you can see, that would be a lie. It was merely a wheelbarrow full of awards.
~The fans begin to stir, growing tired of the champ’s shtick. He points at the wheelbarrow and prompts Ezra to pick an award up and show it to the fans.~
Matt Meyhu: What do we have here, Ez? Match of the Year! Yes. What a night that was, am I right? It changed the business. What else… Finisher of the Year! The Ego Trip has stopped many a contender in his tracks. Can’t fault the voters there. These are just a few of the many… Many awards I took home, in a wheelbarrow, last week. But there was one award that really stood out…
~Meyhu gestures toward the object in his other hand. He rips the cloth away from it, revealing his Hall of Fame plaque. The fans cheer at the thought of the OCW Hall of Fame.~
Matt Meyhu: Yes! In case you missed it, yours truly was named to the OCW Hall of Fame! And I must say, it feels great! It feels great to be recognized as great. After winning the biggest match in the history of the company, it was a foregone conclusion. Still, hearing the words… It made it so much more special. And I can’t even imagine how it must have made all of you feel! Warm and fuzzy? Well don’t you worry… We aren’t done yet!
~Meyhu retrieves a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and begins to unfold it.~
Matt Meyhu: I believe you were all promised an induction speech, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get. Just a moment! Your patience is appreciated.
~Meyhu continues to unfold the sheet of paper… Over… And over… And over… Eventually, a sheet of paper similar in height to the champ himself hangs down from his hands. He clears his throat.~
Matt Meyhu: Eh hem… Webster’s defines ‘Greatness’-
~Before Matt can further elaborate, the arena speakers blast to life as “It Doesn’t Seem to Matter” by Army of Anyone begins to blare. The capacity crowd also blasts to life while Meyhu shakes his head, as if he expected this interruption. Expected or not, he glares down the entrance ramp as the 2018 Death March Sole Survivor, “Perfect” Paul Paras, saunters out from the back, meeting an absolute eruption of cheers from his fans!~
Smith: Here comes the #1 Contender! The two-time Hall of Famer! The former OCW Heavyweight Champion! And the Sole Survivor of Death March!
Hood: WHAT?
Smith: It’s the Minnesota Messiah!
Hood: WHAT?!
Smith: Now don’t start that up again.
Hood: NO, I MEAN I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THESE PEOPLE. THEY MUST REALLY LOVE MEYHU!
Smith: THEY’RE CHEERING FOR PARAS!
Hood: WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!
~Paras takes in the electric atmosphere and slowly brings his hands together and bows his head, as if to say “thank you” to the fans. The Perfect One smirks in Meyhu’s direction before calmly striding down the ramp, snatching a microphone from ringside, and sliding into the ring, causing Ezra to back up nervously. Meyhu stands his ground, however, letting the long list of Greatness fall to the mat as Paras stands and immediately goes face-to-face with the champ. The music stops, but the crowd noise does not as the two men size each other up, neither backing down.~
Smith: This crowd is insane! They may get a preview of the Main Event of Throwback right here tonight!
~Meyhu mouths a few words to Paras, while the Zen Master dreamily stares and smirks in his face, as if daring the champion to make the first move. Though they show it in very different ways, both men ooze confidence. It is only when Ezra reaches in and pulls Matt back a few steps that the tension breaks, causing the fans to respond with loud boos. The World Champion nods confidently and visibly laughs under his breath, motioning to Paul and then to the literal wheelbarrow full of trophies, as if to say “What are you gonna do about it?” Paras smiles and motions his hand at the wheelbarrow, raising the mic to his lips.~
Paul Paras: First off, congratulations on the Hall of Fame, Meyhu. I must admit, that’s a real nice stack of accomplishments you’ve got there.
~The crowd politely applauds, as does Paras, as Meyhu nods his head and looks around the arena.~
Paul Paras: …But mine’s bigger.
~The fans let out a loud “OHHHHHH” as Meyhu’s enthusiasm wanes quickly. Paras nonchalantly shrugs and continues.~
Paul Paras: Trophies, plaques, definitions of greatness—all of that is cute. I should know, after all. I used to come out here and tell these people how great I was night in and night out. Those were some of the most exhilarating nights of my life, and I don’t doubt that you’re feeling the same way more nights than not. However, the Perfect One sees, those glorious, nightswimming nights were also nearly two decades ago.
~The crowd cheers and applauds out of respect, though Paras appears to be bringing up his experience for poignancy rather than acclaim.~
Paul Paras: Surely you remember, Matt, sitting in middle school, talking to all your friends about last night’s Perfectly Marvelous match, and dreaming Broadway dreams of being World Champion, just like that arrogant twentysomething son of a gun from Minnesota who wore those blue and black tights and strutted around like he owned the place, going so far as to call himself “Perfect.” Now as I stand here in 2019, a man in my 40s, one who has experienced a long and storied saga of a career that would make Bill Shakespeare himself shed a tear… it strikes me like a bolt of electron blue that standing in front of me would be a near mirror image… of the man I used to be.
~An array of gasps and confused cheers rise from the fans, who are unsure how to take Paul’s words. Meyhu appears conflicted as well, eyeing Paras carefully. Paras paces slowly and effortlessly as he elaborates, as if floating on the air of his thoughts.~
Paul Paras: Honestly, Matt, when I see you out here, plying your craft, holding that OCW World Title belt, I can understand why I hear it from wrestling pundits all the time—“Matt Meyhu will be the next Paul Paras.” I understand why you’re winning awards left and right. I understand why you’re the World Heavyweight Champion. And I understand why you’re so ready to tell everyone about it. That said…
~Paras’ Zen seems to cede momentarily as he turns to Meyhu and points a finger directly at the champion’s face. As if an instant transformation, everyone in attendance soon remembers that, behind the yoga, meditation, and wispy wordplay, there lies an intense, dominant athlete with something to prove.~
Paul Paras: …You need to understand that you have one enormous problem on your hands if you’re looking to be the next Paul Paras. And that’s because I am still the only Paul Paras. While you were dreaming of being me, I was doing it better than anyone ever will. You got into the Hall of Fame? I’ve got a wing named after me. You survived a legend at Death March to retain your title? I survived the entire roster and more just to be the silver bullet that kills your title reign dead in its tracks at Throwback. And rest assured, “Marvel,” that once I get my hands back on the World Title that I never lost, there won’t be a list long enough to define all the ways that you’ll never be me.
~Another eruption of cheers from the crowd greets Paras as Ezra tries to talk to Matt to keep him calm. Paras’ expression returns to his usual satisfied confidence while Meyhu’s radiates all matter of emotions. He pulls himself together before responding to the challenger.~
Matt Meyhu: I had ‘fan comments’ penciled in for hour two of the presentation… But, since you just couldn’t wait to size up the champ, we’ll skip ahead! Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for the winner of Death March, Paul Paras!
~Matt and Ezra smirk at each other as the fans go wild for the newly crowned number one contender once again.~
Matt Meyhu: That’s right. Let him hear it! My next opponent, right here. A man who helped write the book on OCW. A man who graced the cover of many an OCW VHS tape. A man who apparently was the talk of middle school hallways all across the country in the late 90’s! Paul Paras!
~Meyhu tucks the microphone under his arm for a moment to join in on the applause. He claps slowly and stares directly at Paras for a few seconds before retrieving the microphone, never breaking eye contact.~
Matt Meyhu: You’ve achieved a lot in your career Paul, there is no denying that. I wouldn’t dare try to do that. But let me try to drop a little wisdom on OCW’s resident Old Wise Man… In today’s world, we don’t read books. We listen to podcasts. Nobody owns a VCR to watch those highlight reels of yours. Kids these days don’t even talk! They text. You’re a smart guy, I’m sure you get where I’m going with this.
Hood: I think he’s calling him old.
Smith: Oh. Thanks.
~Meyhu glances over at Ezra who is nodding in agreement. Meyhu’s hype man points at Paras confidently as if to say ‘you’re old!’ Paras doesn’t even waste the energy shifting his eyes over to Ezra. He smirks directly at the champion, unphased.~
Matt Meyhu: Now, I could pay you lip service and tell you what an honor it is to be standing here with a FELLOW OCW Hall of Famer, but that’s all I’ve done this past year. It’s old hat. In this past year, I’ve stood here face to face, with the title on the line, with guys like The Incredible One! Curt Canon! Mack O’Connor!
~The fans all show their admiration for the list of Hall of Famers who have main evented shows this past year.~
Matt Meyhu: Scott Syren… I’m probably forgetting someone… Whatever, you get the point! It’s a long list, and you’re a fine addition to it, but… Ultimately, this is just another feather in my cap. I say all this Paul, not to insult you, but to reassure you. I can sense that you’re worried about your legacy around these parts. In a way, you’re right to be. I mean, these people love me!
~The fans begin to groan a little at the thought of choosing Matt Meyhu over Paul Paras.~
Matt Meyhu: You see? It’s a tough decision for them. But don’t you worry Paul. You’re a two time Hall of Famer! I would never need somebody’s help enough for that! Your spot in OCW history is secure. You may be Perfect… But with the run I’m on, I just may be better than that. Now, I’m going to give you the same advice I would have given Scott Syren had he ever been man enough to approach me before our match, face to face, like you’re doing right now…
~Meyhu pauses, and he and Paras continue to stare at each other. The fans are loving it. As Meyhu lifts the microphone back up, the chatter in the arena tapers off as they listen in to what the OCW Champion has to offer.~
Matt Meyhu: When you try to relive your glory days, it never quite works out the way you plan. Your era was great! You helped shape this place. Make it what it is today! But right now, it’s my time. ‘The Marvel’ runs this show. So thank you for your service, Paul, but-
~Before even finishing his sentence, Meyhu suddenly lashes out with the microphone and blasts Paras in the side of the head, causing a loud POP from the mic and sending the two-time Hall of Famer collapsing to his knees in pain!~
Smith: What was that?! What a cheap shot by the champion!!
Hood: None of the shots are cheap when you’re fighting the Wrestler of the Year! They all come at a price! Get him, Matt!
~Meyhu drops the microphone and eyes his Hall of Fame plaque lovingly, shining up its pristine surface with his forearm. The champion rears back, readying the plaque as Paras slowly rises to his feet, the fans booing loudly now. As soon as Paras is steady, Meyhu runs at him, swinging for the fences for Paras’ skull with the plaque!
Paras, however, ducks the plaque shot! With the agility of someone half his age, Paras drops down to avoid the plaque and delivers a thunderous legsweep to the back of Meyhu’s calves, sending the Marvel back-first to the mat, his plaque landing on his chest! As Meyhu scrambles to protect his Hall of Fame credential, wrapping his arms around it, Paras backs up, surveying the crowd. He waits for Meyhu to rise to his knees and measures him up. Meyhu reaches one knee, but before he can stand up, Paras darts out of the corner with his boot ready to take Meyhu’s head off!~
Smith: Oh my God, ACID TEST on the way… NO! Meyhu escapes!!
~As Smith called it, Meyhu sees the kick coming just in time and rolls out of the ring, mere milliseconds before Paras’ boot connected with his skull. Ezra, who smartly has already escaped the ring as well, runs over to Matt’s side, trying to escort the World Champion to safety. Meyhu obliges at first, still clutching his plaque and making sure the World Title is still securely around his waist, before he appears to have a realization that he is forgetting something.
Matt slowly turns back to the ring to see Paul Paras alone with his wheelbarrow full of trophies. Paras, realizing what Meyhu is staring at, forms a sly grin across his face.~
Hood: Don’t you dare! Matt earned those fair and square!
Smith: That may be the case, Hood, but have you ever, in the history of the wrestling business, seen a trophy NOT get destroyed when it was brought into the ring?
Hood: I slept through history, thank you very much! This is property damage! Theft! Adultery!
Smith: Adultery?
Hood: Matt loves those trophies more than life itself. Paras is making eyes at them like they’re $25 whores!
Smith: They have $25 prostitutes?
Hood: Shut up and be outraged like I am!
~Paras eases over and grabs the handles of the wheelbarrow, then looks back at Meyhu, who has his hands on his head in terror. Matt tries to run toward the ring, but Paras quickly starts to rush the wheelbarrow toward the ropes to dump the trophies out to the hard arena floor, stopping Matt in his tracks. Paul backs up a moment, then suddenly jolts the wheelbarrow toward the other side of the ring, putting Meyhu’s heart in his throat. Again, though, he stops before the trophies are propelled to their doom, the crowd cheering louder with every tease of trophy destruction. Meyhu slowly approaches the ring, trying to reason with Paul, who backs up once more. Matt cautiously hands the plaque to Ezra and climbs up to the ring apron, motioning for Paras to calm down.
Paras looks out to the rabid fans once more and gives a small offhand shrug to Meyhu. Matt tentatively tries to enter the ring to retrieve his gold when the wheelbarrow suddenly is launched toward him at high speed by its pilot, Paras, causing the champ to make an athletic leap off the apron to avoid getting plowed into! Meyhu lands and looks back in anger to see Paras’ signature smirk staring back at him and the man who owns the smirk pointing toward the trophies and then Meyhu’s World Title belt, mouthing “You can have those… I’m coming for that one.” Paras then rolls out of the ring without so much as touching the trophies and climbs over the rail to exit through his sea of fans. Meyhu slides back into the ring to make sure his gold is unharmed, seething up at the #1 contender, who is already long gone, taking selfies with the crowd as his Army of Anyone theme music soaks up the cheers.~
Smith: And the mind games have already begun! I don't think The Marvel wants to play mind games with Paras
Hood: Ezra get your ass out there and protect those trophies! My gosh those things cost more than the life insurance policies of every fan in here, combined!
Smith: Insulting our fans and bringing up death. Terrific. Let's head backstage folks as we get things situated out here for the opening bout of 2019!
~ The camera pans backstage in the OCW Arena to reveal a striking brunette sitting atop one of the production crates emblazoned with the company logo. For those familiar with the business, her identity is unmistakable: the veteran Kitty Petrova. She stretches her arms up above her head, clasping her hands and arching her back slowly as though she's doing some sort of modified yoga to warm up. There's a knowing smile on her lips as she tosses her hair from her face, as if she knows that the viewer was just getting a nice eyeful of her perfectly sculpted body. When she deigns to break the silence, her voice is soft, just a hint of some sort of accent softening her words. ~
Petrova: It occurs to me that the standard fare that I've relied on in the past, really isn't necessary in a place like OCW. I don't need to come here and make ridiculous claims and issue challenges. I don't need to rattle cages. No, I really don't need to waste your time with any of that nonsense.
~ She looks from side to side as if expecting someone to contradict her. When nobody does, a cheeky smirk crosses her lips. ~
Petrova: I thought so. See, this is the kind of place where a strong woman with a brain in her head can really shine. Oh no, it's true. I made sure that there were no 'dildo on a pole' or 'naked aggression' matches in the history of this organization before signing on the dotted line – due diligence and all that. Can't be too careful these days, after all. The fact that PerZag has come back, the fact that decorated wrestlers like Matt Meyhu and CJ O'Donnell call this company home should speak for itself.
~ With each name dropped, she seems to be dangerously close to coming off snide, although her tone is as mild as ever. ~
Petrova: But the proof is in the pudding – is that still something they say? I'm woefully out of touch with today's slang. In a little while, you're going to see me in action. You're going to watch me do what I do best – that should serve as the only introduction you need and surely more than most of you deserve.
~ She cocks her head as though considering something before a soft little chuckle passes her pursed lips.~
Petrova: I won't bother to trot out all the old nicknames, to tell you who I used to be and who I might become – you're capable of forming your own opinion, I'm sure. Watch. Wait. Be vigilant. Be patient. Change is coming and I'm the spark that will light the way – I am the fire. Prepare to be burned.
~ Without another word, she hops off the box and starts to walk away from the camera, never once looking back. ~
Smith: Kitty Petrova, a huge signing will debut later on tonight!
Hood: A fan of yoga, eh? Somebody should tell Paras. Those two can hook up...his mind will be all foggy and then the Marvel will retain at Throwback!
Smith: Nothing is going to get in The Perfect One's way from doing everything he can to dethrone Meyhu, I can promise you that. But, back to Petrova...she is set to debut against John E Depth a little later. I've heard great things about Petrova and the OCW offices seem to think she has main event potential
Hood: Hot damn! Well I guess I'm looking forward to seeing her compete, then
Smith: And, speaking of debuts...another highly talented newcomer, Veronica Taylor, is set to debut and that debut is next!
Singles Match
Veronica Taylor (0-0) vs. Jack Puffer (0-2)
~The crowd is READY. Their bodies are READY. Their souls are READY. It’s 2019 and they are ready for some hard hitting, OCW in-ring action!! They sway, they chant, they cheer…these fans are hyped. Belvedere stands in the middle of the ring to a huge ovation! He clears his throat! The crowd goes wild. It’s time!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring from Aurora, Illinois…Jack Puffer!!!
~Puffer throws an arm into the air. There is minimal reaction. He then looks around attempting to detect the cheers~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~With Jack Puffer warmed up in the ring, or at least as warmed up as a man of his...uhm, “stature” could be, it was time for the debut of the next big diva to take the OCW by storm! Or was it?~
~Instead of Keri Hilison’s “Turn My Swag On” however, the house lighting remains a normal illumination and a man’s voice comes out over the intercom~
?: “Can I have your attention please…”
~It was that certain low-pitch mellow-but-professional tone that we were all becoming far, far more familiar with just tonight alone. Yes, indeed, out from the back stepped Jeff Jones - sporting both Tag Team Championships sat atop his shoulders, and dressed in a three-piece Dolce and Gabbana suit. In his left hand was his...let’s call it his weapon of choice. A microphone, of course~
Jeff Jones: Ladies and gentlemen, hold your applause for my name is Jeff Jones and I am your personal counsel…
“BOOOOOOO!!”
Jeff Jones: As I see Mister Puffer is already in the ring and as ready as he’ll ever...ever be, I thought it was prudent that I took the spotlight for another opportunity to grace you with a better OCW on this first Massacre of twenty-nineteen…
~The Key West natives were clearly growing restless with every word Jeff spoke. Jeff however, wouldn’t let their disrespectful attitudes phaze him in the least, however~
Jeff Jones: You see, I got off the phone mere hours before the show after securing the services of one of the top independent stars to be added to my portfolio of talent. And, as the kind, noble gentleman that I am --
“BULLSHIT!”
Jeff Jones: Now see, that’s not very nice of you…[i]with all due respect[/i].
~Jeff responded with a mere dry, sarcastic quip~
Jeff Jones: As I was saying, it is my great privilege to introduce to you, the OCW’s newest blockbuster signing, the woman whom will usher in the, hashtag, ‘Year of Mean’, she is the Mean Queen herself and my newest client…’first class mean girl’ Veronica Taylor!
~Keri Hilison’s “Turn My Swag On” kicks on as the newest OCW signee emerges. Jeff takes her hand and raises it in a showing of triumphant victory before adding with a smirk, “God Save the Queen” into his mic. Lastly he blesses the crowd with dreams of what they’ll never experience - a kiss on the one and only Veronica Taylor’s cheek - before walking her to ringside. They reach ringside and Taylor hustles up the steps and enters through the ropes~
Smith: Well I WAS looking forward to Taylor’s debut. I hate to see that she’s keeping the company of absolute scoundrels
Hood: Whoa man, you better calm down!
Smith: Sorry
~Belvedere exits and the bell sounds~
Smith: Veronica Taylor, regardless of affiliation, is another impressive newcomer to OCW. This is her initial OCW test.
Hood: Yea and it’s pretty point blank. If you can’t pass this test then you might as well take your ‘talents’ elsewhere
Smith: Indeed
~Puffer heads toward the center of the ring. Taylor meets him there. Puffer extends his hand, seeking friendship or, at the very least, professional courtesy. Taylor looks down at his hand. She extends her hand before reaching up and thumbing Puffer in the eye!! The crowd boos!! Puffer looks at Veronica like “Why?” Veronica slaps him across the face!! Puffer stumbles into the ropes with one eye shut and a hand covering his reddening cheek. Veronica smiles…the crowd is instantly against her~
Smith: Well, that didn’t take long
Hood: I like this one
Smith: No surprise
Hood: She’s a real go getter!
~Puffer looks toward Taylor with a confused expression. He hasn’t figured things out yet – nothing that should surprise any loyal OCW fan. He heads toward Taylor with his arms outstretched, seeking answers. Taylor kicks him in the gut and drops him with an Implant DDT!! Puffer appears to be out! The crowd continues to boo~
Smith: I think the good detective needs to figure out that this is a wrestling match…not a social call
Hood: I wonder if he’s identified his own gender yet
Smith: Please, let’s not go there
~Taylor grabs Puffer by the back of the head. She forces him to his feet before driving him face down with a SItout Facebuster!!! Puffer flips over, onto his back…he’s lifeless. Taylor goes for the pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…VERONICA TAYLOR!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win by the very aggressive Veronica Taylor
Hood: Yea she whipped Puffer’s ass all up and down that ring…I don’t know why I’m surprised. I guess the layoff produced misleading nostalgia rendering a false image of the good detective.
Smith: Poor Puffer
“BULLSHIT!”
“BULLSHIT!”
Smith: Hold on, Hood, I just got a report of something happening in the back.
Hood: Stuff is always happening in the back, what's the big deal? Smith: Just go with it, Hood.
~We go to the back, where the cameraman is hurrying down the hall to keep up with the large wrestler moving in front of him.~
Vincent Langston: Collins! Where the fuck is Collins? I know he's here dammit!
~Langston grabs hold of a scared assistant, dragging him forward to face him.~
Vincent Langston: Where is he? Where's his room?
Assistant: I.. I.. I..
~Not getting the answer he wanted, Langston throws the assistant aside, sending him skidding down the floor into a crowd who was watching the chaos. Only the cameraman avoids it.~
Hood: Strike!
Smith: Langston's looking to be on the rampage tonight!
FEEL GOOD
Smith: Well, there’s the legend himself, Silver Cyanide! Fresh off his first match in OCW in a decade. Now, we haven’t been told the reasons for why Cyanide wants to address the crowd tonight, but there are some rumors floating around out there that we certainly hope aren’t true.
Hood: Normally Smith, I’d tell you to shut up and let the man speak, but in this case, you’re right! The internet has been on fire recently about what Cyanide could say here today, and unfortunately it doesn’t seem like what any of us want to hear!
~ As Smith and Hood were speaking, Cyanide had made his way to the ring and climbed the steps, slipping through the ropes and pacing in a circle, his eyes scanning the fans with their hands in the air, cheering raucously. He nods slowly, wipes at his mouth with his hand, and raises the microphone to his lips. ~
Cyanide: You know, there’s something I’ve gotta say...
~ Cyanide falls silent and looks around again as the crowd erupts into a spontaneous ONE MORE MATCH chant. ~
Hood: Looks like the fans here are already familiar with what this could possibly be about!
Smith: That’s OCW fans for you, Hood. They’re always the smartest!
Hood: Are you kidding? Have you MET some of these neckbeards?!
~ The ONE MORE MATCH chant devolves into a CY-A-NIDE chant, as Cyanide stands silently in the ring. He looks down and bites at his lower lip, but his eyes remain hidden behind his mirrored sunglasses. The chant morphs again into a plain old deafening standing ovation. Cyanide’s bottom lip quivers slightly and he takes a deep breath, raising the mic again. ~
Cyanide: Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I really do. But listen, something I never got to do years ago...is something I’ve finally got the chance to do here. When Mario said he wanted me back to help him at Death March, it made me realize something. I never got the chance to truly say goodbye.
~ The crowd boos, but the boos slowly turn back into cheers. ~
Cyanide: My career ended without any fanfare...I just took the money I’d saved up and went to live a quiet life, and boy did I succeed at that. I run a carpet shop in a town of 2000 people, so let’s just say its a good thing I had that ROTH IRA account, because that’s not a job that leaves you swimming in dough. I thought I was happy and I thought I was through with the wrestling circus...but when Mario said he needed me, I remembered all the wonderful times I had here, the memories I made, the friends I had, and how...I never said goodbye to them.
~ The crowd again pipes up, this time with a THANK YOU chant. Cyanide waves a hand at them. ~
Cyanide: No, thank you guys. I still think about you guys in my little carpet sales office. I’m sure Andrew Logan still thinks of you as he runs The Accelerator’s Wrestling Rollercoaster website. I bet Andy Murray still thinks about you while he’s in front of the camera at WhatCulture Wrestling. And I know Bifford thinks about you between meals...so, he never thinks about you.
~ The crowd oooos the sick burn and cheers. ~
Cyanide: But I’m running short on time. I was told no more than three minutes to talk, and to cut it down to a minute and a half if I could...and I’m at like ten minutes right now. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you all, it was a blast, and I would like to officially announce my reti—
~ Suddenly, Kickstart my Heart by Motley Crue blasts through the air and Cyanide pauses mid-sentence, looking slowly up to the stage, his mouth agape. ~
Smith: It’s Mario Maurako! What is he doing here?!
Hood: Coming to pay his respects like a good Italian man does to his superiors!
~ Mario quickly jogs down the ramp in a pinstripe suit. Mario is up the stairs and into the ring before you even know it. ~
Smith: Mario’s heart must be in good shape tonight.
Hood: Unfortunately.
~ Mario walks over to Cyanide and places his right hand on the shoulder of Silver Cyanide. ~
Mario Maurako: I know what you’re doing out here. But before you do or say anything else, why don’t you listen to this idea I have. You see I have this little bucket list, and at Death March we crossed off “Team up with Paras & Cyanide one more time”. There is one more thing on my list that directly involves you. Does everyone want to know what that thing is?
~ The fans go bananas with their affirmation. ~
Smith: I’ll take that as a yes.
Mario Maurako: Cyanide, what do you say to one more run as the High Impact Express!?
~ The camera rumbles as the building explodes with cheers at the idea of Maurako & Cyanide re-uniting in the tag team division. But, Cyanide seems reluctant. ~
Mario Maurako: Listen, I’m not asking for a multi year run. These fans have missed you, I have missed you. We formed Ground Zero here in OCW and then we went into other companies and ran them over as the High Impact Express or as pieces of the Argonauts of Awesome. So let’s just complete the cycle and let this end where it started, right here in OCW.
~ The fans begin a slightly new chant of “ONE MORE RUN, ONE MORE RUN” as Cyanide stirs in consternation. Anticipation mounts and Mario slowly and exaggeratedly holds his right hand out for a hand shake of confirmation. Cyanide reaches out his right hand and then grabs his wrist with his left, as if to stop himself. But then the hands of Maurako & Cyanide slowly join together into a monumental handshake! ~
Smith: I think the roof is about to blow off this place!
Hood: This is stupid, Mario couldn’t get the job done at Death March so he’s running back to the safety net of the Tag Division. Am I the only one who is seeing this? He is a coward!
Smith: Stop it Hood!
~ Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne hits as Maurako & Cyanide appeal to the crowd and further hype them up. ~
Smith: Now who can beat that team, Hood?
Hood: Are you going to give me any options or am I supposed to just pick this mythical team out of the air?
Smith: The tag titles are in desperate need of leadership and perhaps...perhaps Cyanide and Maurako are the ones that will illuminate a darkened division
Hood: I don't know if the division is dark as much as it is all tangled up like a lazy person's video game station. But, sure, Mario can swim back into his safe little cave with his big fish buddies and enjoy success until his heart gives out and we all mourn what will be, in all likelihood, his final retirement from wrestling
Smith: YOU HAVE NO HEART. Let's cut backstage
~In the backstage area a giant man wearing a MAGICAL FLEECE is seen watching a monitor. He turns around and it is revealed that he is, indeed, The Big Bifford. Bifford smiles, seeing the camera there, but seems to be talking to someone behind it who isn't the camera man.~
Bifford: I wondered when I'd see you here, my old friend... Did you see that segment earlier with Mario and Silver Cyanide? I mean... why aren't they hanging it up? Cyanide was eliminated so very early at Dearth March, like a total amateur... and I pinned Mario clean in the middle after The Biff End, totally ruining his dreams...
~Bifford turns to look right into the camera.~
Bifford: Mario, my friend... my enemy... listen, bro... it's time to just hang it up. You'll never be OCW Champion and you'll never beat me... T! B! B!
~Bifford does the RVD thumbs to the shoulders and the fans chant along.~
Bifford: As for you...
~Bifford says, turning to face whoever is standing around off screen.~
Bifford: I want to go to the ring tonight and beat the crap out of the Danger Bois, and especially Dangerous Dan, and challenge them to a future match... and while I could beat both Dangerous Dan and Crazy Chris alone with both hands tied behind my back, I think New White Dean would probably prefer it be a legitimate tag team match...
Hood: Is it Arachne?
Smith: It must be, Bifford and Arachne have tag teamed before and are former GCWA Tag Team Champions...
Bifford: So, old timer, will you be my tag team partner?
~The camera pans out and reveals Bifford is talking to an old man with very long hair. And when we say old we mean old. And he doesn't look like he's lived a good life - he looks like it's been damn rough.~
Hood: EHUD OF MOAB!!!!
Smith: Sweet Jesus... how is he still alive? He was 80 in his last run in OCW...
Hood: HE'S 85 YEARS OLD!!! I actually just Googled him yesterday to see if he was still alive... he is.
Smith: That is not safe... he can't wrestle... can he?
Hood: He's Ehud.. he just punches people and then applies a camel clutch...
Smith: Yeah but what if he gets punched? Does anyone want to see an 85 year old man get punched?
Hood: Well.. I do...
~Ehud looks like he's thinking it over.~
Ehud: I haven't wrestled in almost 5 years... I've been busy trying to kill the Time Traveling Grimace...
~Bifford, for once, is the one looking at someone like they're crazy.~
Bifford: That sounds like a hell of a life... but listen... Dangerous Dan is a personal friend of the...
~Bifford pauses, sighs audibly, and then says it.~
Bifford: The Time Traveling Grimace...
~Ehud looks angry when he hears that.~
Ehud: Then I'll try my best... these aren't the young muscles of yesteryear...
~Ehud flexes, but is an old and extremely thin man wearing a flannel shirt so we have no idea what he's trying to show us.~
Hood: I think Ehud hasn't had young muscles of yesteryear since Truman was president...
Smith: Most of our fans don't even know who Truman is...
Bifford: It's okay with has-been tag teams like Mario and Silver Cyanide running around, this won't be difficult... we'll be OCW Tag Team Champions in no time.
~The two men shake hands and then walk off, discussing their plans.~
Smith: And in the span of fifteen minutes we've seen two interesting tag teams emerge!
Hood: Yep, you've got one team with a man who could kill over at any second. And the other team features Ehud of Moab!
Smith: That's rude. Bifford and Ehud...that would be, well, it would be one for the record books
Hood: Ehud looks as fierce as ever. No word on if he ever brought time traveling grimace to justice.
Smith: I'd rather spend my time on other items of interest, like the debut of Kitty Petrova!
Hood: Is she russian? Did she hack the Year End Awards?
Smith: I don't know and surely not. What she is, though, is an extremely talented competitor with the potential to become a star here in OCW. Her debut...the debut of Kitty Petrova is next!
Singles Match
Kitty Petrova (0-0) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
~The crowd is still WHITE HOT. Lucky fuckers must have avoided the lethal combination of flu/hangover. They are way too ravenous, energetic for the first Monday of the new year. Anyway, they are super stoked. A few of the sick bastards are even drinking beer (almost pukes). Belvedere, in the middle of the ring, clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring…he is from Hollywood, California…he is John E Depth!!
~Depth appears still green around the proverbial gills after an undoubtedly raucous and exhausting holiday break. However, his mustache is intact~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The lights fade to blood red, and the screen comes to life with heavy static, showing a silhouette of a woman standing in a barren warehouse, smoking a cigarette. The haunting lyrics of "I Am The Fire" by Halestorm fade up in volume over the sound system, almost drowned out by booing. The scenes flow between shots of Kitty’s life outside the ring, to match footage revealing a dark-haired woman beating the holy hell out of both men and women. The veteran herself steps out at the top of the ramp alone, her head bowed with her hair hanging in her face. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she strides purposefully towards the ring, pausing every few feet to glare haughtily at the fans that have the audacity to try and reach out to touch her. She slides under the bottom rope, languidly doing a very cat-like yoga stretch while the crowd showers her with hatred. She seems utterly oblivious although there’s definite malice in her eyes as she pulls her hair back into a messy ponytail, securing it with a plain black elastic band~
Belvedere: From Napa Valley, California…standing 5’6 ½ and weighing in at 125lbs…Kitty Petrova!!
~The crowd gives a mixed reaction. Some remember Petrova from her success in other promotions…others, who are unaware, are standing by, waiting for her to make a particular impression. Belvedere exits the ring and the bell sounds~
Smith: OCW Newcomer Kitty Petrova looks to pass her initial test against John E Depth
Hood: Nice to see Depth survived the holidays
Smith: I’d rather focus on the NEW for 2019, Hood. Kitty has a chance to make a HUGE impact in OCW this year. She was a big signing
Hood: Yea, yea, we’ll see. She is hot…I’ll say that
Smith: How HR allowed you to work for another year is beyond me
~Depth measures Kitty up. Standing in the same ring as a woman has lifted his dampened spirits. He nods, approvingly. He says something along the lines of “A few wrinkles here and there, but you’re still solid film material. I can definitely work…” and then, BAM~
Smith: Uh oh! New year, same Depth!
Hood: Holy shit that woman hits hard!
Smith: He insulted her character, Hood! She’s a wrestler…not…not whatever John E Depth was insinuating!
Hood: I don’t think there was anything surreptitious about the point he was trying to get across
~The BAM was, of course, a short, stiff forearm to the side of the head delivered by an insulted Kitty Petrova to the giant, stupid head of John E Depth. Depth stumbles back into his corner, stunned. Kitty marches forward. Depth removes his aviator shades with fear in his eyes. He begs Kitty to relent. She does not. She blasts him with another short forearm shot to the jaw. Depth drops his shades which fall outside the ring. Kitty lifts a few knees into Depth’s ribcage. The low level porn director is gasping for wind, leaning into Kitty’s smaller, yet more defined frame~
Smith: Kitty is knocking the wind and stuffing out of John E Depth!
Hood: Wrong holiday!
Smith: Some people eat stuffing over Christmas
Hood: Shit seems so redundant
~Kitty tosses Depth out of the corner and into the middle of the ring with a high angled hip toss! Depth nearly lands on his head, avoiding a disastrous tumble by mere inches. He arches his back in pain, sitting up, middle of the ring. Kitty charges forward and delivers a penalty kick into his spine! Depth yells out in pain, falling onto his side. Kitty begins to stomp on the side of his head~
Smith: Kitty Petrova will not let up. The sign of a true competitor
Hood: She’s going to kill him! How can OCW exist without John E Depth?
Smith: He’s been through worse. I’m sure he’ll be fine
Hood: You animal
~Depth manages to roll over, covering his head. He gets to his knees in front of Kitty. He asks her to stop. Kitty looks down at Depth with zero remorse. She leaps up, wraps her legs around his head and plants him face first into the mat with a Huricanrana Facebuster!!! Depth appears to be lifeless~
Smith: She calls that move Bow to the Queen!
Hood: That’s why you never beg in front of a woman, Smith. She will always make you pay for it
Smith: Sexist commentary, in 2019? Really, Hood?
Hood: How the fuck is 2019 different than 2018 aside from ONE FUCKING NUMBER
~Petrova forces Depth to his feet. He sways back and forth. She takes a step back and jumps forward with a Stiff Superkick!! Depth falls into the ropes…they keep him from falling to the ground. He ricochets off and staggers toward Petrova who greets him with a vicious uppercut! He, again, falls into the ropes. Petrova hits the opposite ropes and springboards off. She turns around in midair as Depth stumbles toward the middle of the ring. He is greeted by a vicious knee strike from Kitty!! Depth hits the mat, hard! The impact is loud! The fans pop for the ‘pop’. Kitty makes the cover…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….KITTY PETROVA!!!!!
Smith: Easy win for Kitty
Hood: Well she passed her first test in OCW - easily
Smith: Indeed...far tougher tests loom. But, after seeing what she did to Depth I have no doubt Kitty will continue to pass each and every test as she ascends the OCW ladder
Hood: Yea, yea...if she stays focused and works hard she'll be good. At least she takes this shit seriously unlike that wretched Alice Knight
Smith: Well the night continues to roll on, folks...so, let's cut to some footage featuring one of OCW's newest signings!
~Static feeds into the arena as flickering images appear. The images are of a very young Dazi Miyashita gaining her first title. Blood pouring from her face, the belt in her hand, air coming and going in her lungs very shallow~
"She was once a beast, a legend in that ring. She bled and fought for the ultra-violent."
~The next images are of Dazi after a long match at an arena backstage. Staples being put into her shoulder as a clunk was heard on the floor below. The next image is of a screwdriver covered in her own blood~
"She once did what she had to do. She was a sick, twisted soul but somewhere along the way...she lost her darkness. She lost her path of bloodshed, violence and she was quite complacent in her life. She thought that the hardcore and violence would just leave her alone. However, you can try and leave the bloody lifestyle yet it never wants to leave you. It crawls back in like a virus that you just cannot shake, and when it comes back you have to scratch that itch."
~The next image is a live feed from what appears to be an unknown house. It looked to be rundown like no one had lived there for some time. A man, clad in a black suit and face paint stood at the entrance to the house as the sound of heels clicking on the ground could be heard getting closer and closer. The wicked smirk that came slowly across the face of the man was one that could tell many stories, but he was telling one himself~
"This story that I am telling you, this story that has been forged by blood is the story of an icon. In a world where everyone wants to be a king, a queen, a god or a goddess...there are no real icons anymore. There are no real people who do not hide behind masks and back words up with action. I personally have found this woman, and we will regain her prominence in wrestling again. The Hardcore Icon is back, and she is now in OCW."
~The woman turns around and it is none other than Dazi Miyashita~
"We are home. We are in OCW. We are violence, and I guarantee you that we will not stop until I reach that brass ring once again. Mister Carlton Walsh here woke me up. He pointed me to this company and here we are. My story is not over. No no, it is only just starting. We will see you all soon, very soon and when we get there?"
~The pair smirked at each other~
"It will be violent and iconic."
~The scene cuts to static again as we cut to Smith and Hood~
Smith: That is Dazi Miyashita, folks. She will make her in-ring debut next week!
Hood: Man we've got some talented people running around. That name, though, is going to take some getting used to...for me, anyway
Smith: Well, write it down
Hood: All I have is a pencil
Smith: Why do you only have a pencil?
Hood: Because I have trouble with commitment
Smith: Geez. I for one can't wait to see Dazi debut next week. She steps into OCW with a huge reputation. She's got a great story to tell and I'm thrilled she picked OCW as the place to tell her story. That story begins to unfold next week!
~The camera cuts backstage where Who’re stands with a microphone~
Who’re: Hi ladies and gentlemen. This is Who’re for OCW Massacre!
~Who’re bounces in excitement and gets a positive reaction from the mostly male audience in the arena~
Who’re: I’m here to get the scoop on Aidan Collins, who faces Legion later tonight. He is fresh off a defeat at Death March in the finals of the Death March match... Oh!
~Who’re squeals as a door is kicked open behind her. Aidan Collins emerges, carrying his gym bag~
Aidan Collins: I’m coming in hot, motherfuckers!
~Aidan is not aware of Who’re in the slightest~
Aidan Collins: Where in the fuck is Zybala?! Zybala! Get out here you doofy son-of-a-bitch!
~Aidan goes walking past Who’re, who grabs him by the arm to stop him from walking right by in his pursuit of Zybala~
Who’re: Aidan! Can I ask you a few questions?!
~Aidan stops in his tracks and examines Who’re. He seems confused, as though he doesn’t believe Who’re is an OCW employee. He smiles once he figures out what Who’re’s role must be~
Aidan Collins: I get it…This is one of those hidden camera TV shows. Backstage somewhere, my wife is watching this and she wants to catch me cheating. I saw this same trick on Maury one time. They get a dude all riled up with some tits and then she makes a move on him. It’s entrapment at its finest. The chick they used looked just like you, so as far as I know you might even be the same whore!
Who’re: The name is pronounced Who’re!
~Who’re pouts. Aidan tries to calm her~
Aidan Collins: Whatever, I’ll play along. Ask your questions. Just don’t try to make moves on me. I’m a married man!
~Who’re perks up, seemingly over the fact that Aidan called her a whore~
Who’re: Okay. Question one. What do you think about Death Match?
Aidan Collins: Nice, a real specific question to start out… You want to know my opinion on Death March?
~Who’re holds the mic out, smiling and nodding~
Aidan Collins: It was fucking bullshit is what I think! Anyone who watched the event could see I was the most dominant figure in both of my matches. I was straight styling, Heisman-style. Stiff-arming motherfuckers with one hand, holding my dick with my other hand! If Mike Zybala wasn’t such an incompetent nitwit, I would have had my first major success in OCW. Once I find whatever janitor’s closet he’s coloring in, he and I are going to have a little chat.
Who’re: Okay. Cool. Question two. Did you know that Vincent Langston, who you will be facing at Throwback, is looking for you?!
~Aidan is taken aback~
Aidan Collins: Vincent Langston? What the fuck does he want?
~Aidan looks confused, totally unaware of why the big man would be looking for him~
Who’re: Well, Aidan, at Death March, you cost him the match when you double-crossed him! He’s been letting people around here know that he’s going to see you tonight.
~Aidan seems flustered by this news~
Aidan Collins: Are you kidding me?! I have bigger things to worry about tonight! First, I have to find Zybala…and then I have a match. God damn it! Now I have to worry about a guy jumping me just because he’s butthurt I outsmarted him in the ring, too? What kind of goddamn workplace is this!?
~Aidan storms off as Who’re watches.
Aidan Collins: This sucks camels dicks!
~We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: I don't think Aidan quite understands what he's dealing with. Langston is a big, dangerous man and he's very, very angry
Hood: Aidan Collins defeated three hundred men on December 17th. One of those men was Vincent Langston. I'm sure he'll be fine. King Infinity sweats nothing.
Smith: We'll see about that
Where the hood...
Where the hood…
Where the hood at…
~Those iconic words erupt through the OCW Arena and Bob Grenier angrily makes his way through the curtain. He wears a hoodie, hood up, and an angry expression underneath a black bandana that covers his mouth.. He carries a shovel on his shoulder.. An OCW cameraman gets in really close to try and capture said expression and this infuriates Grenier even more.. He screams “Get that shit out of my goddamn face..” and swings the shovel at the camera, knocking it out of the operators hands. It smashes on the ground and Grenier kicks it aside. He enters the ringside area to a loud chorus of boos. He throws the shovel into the ring and instead of entering the ring he walks over to Belvedere and smacks him in the face before taking the microphone from his hands! He then makes his way over to the announce table and rips the headset off Smith’s head, When Hood tries to intervene, Grenier pushes him to the ground and puts on the headset~
Bob: To the people watching at home, Welcome to the part of the program where I tell like it F*****G is! Welsh, You better be watching!
~Bob throws down the headset and makes his way over to an overweight woman sitting in the front row beside her husband. He tells her to stand her fat ass up so he can take her chair, She refuses. Bob tells her husband he better keep his bitch in line before he does it for him and facepalms the man, The woman stands up and he grabs the chair to a loud chorus of boos. He enters the ring and takes a seat on the stolen chair, he raises the mic and points to the shovel laying on the canvas~
Bob: Time to cut the crap! To the choads in the back and all you goddamn morons sitting on your asses watching this bullshit live tonight.. That right there is the shovel I am going to use to bury the dreams of each and every dumbfuck who chooses not to buy in to what it is I’m selling now and I promise you this from the bottom of my blackened heart.
~The crowd begins a loud “Get lost Grenier” chant and he just smirks.~
Bob: You see, I arrived at the arena this evening, Ready to kick someones teeth in and imagine my surprise when I found myself sitting on the sidelines watching tonight as Kitty Petrova and Veronica Taylor are given the opportunity eat up MY precious airtime! I’m perplexed.. This is Monday Night Massacre, A show that I put on the f*****g map.I sit on the sidelines for no f******g bitch! I left voicemails, I made phone calls, I made it completely known that in 2019.. I was coming to put the work in like I always f*****g have. This year was going to be different I told them, I told the powers that be, Give me ANYONE and here I sit.. A goddamn bench warmer while that goddamn cum guzzler Dangerous Dan and his goofy brother Chris are allowed to stink up this f*****g joint. I refuse to leave this ring tonight until I get the answers I crave!
~The crowd continues to boo Grenier relentlessly as he continues to bitch and moan~
Bob: I am the face of OCW. I’ve been the face of this company since I walked through the door but I ask myself, Should I have expected any different? Afterall, This is the same company that long ago stripped me of the goddamn championship I EARNED.. Stripped me of that for no good reason, Since that day I’ve yet to receive a fair shake, They won’t look twice at me despite all the blood I’ve spilled. I’ve entertained the f**k out of you people for long enough, and there was a time where I did it all for you! Now, It’s all about ME! If I don’t get some recognition soon, I’m going to burn this arena down and piss on the goddamn ashes. Former Champion, Check, Hall of Famer, Check…
~All of a sudden Bob eyes an obviously handicapped child in the front row, The boy is booing him and sporting a Matt Meyhu t-shirt. He rises from his chair and makes his way to ringside slowly, Never taking his eyes off this kid. As Bob moves in closer the kid begins to boo even louder, He seems to be having a great time when Bob violently rips the shirt off of the kids back!! The child’s father and a couple of other male fans immediately become enraged and they begin to jaw back and forth with Grenier while this little boy is in hysterics on the ground. The child’s father tries to jump over the guardrail and Bob eggs him on but security stops an altercation from happening. An incredibly loud “Asshole” chant breaks out. The father picks up his son and they sadly exit the arena, shocked at what has happened. Bob admonishes them as they head to the exit. A fan pelts Grenier in the head with a beer~
Bob: Yeah, Walk away! Get the hell out of my goddamn arena! Anyone else wanna push me?!
~Bob rips the shirt into pieces and wipes it in his ass crack before tossing it on the ground. He climbs back in the ring and takes a seat again~
Bob: Classic OCW, Baby! I am classic OCW and I’m not going to sit back there and subjected to CJ O’Donnell and Curt Canon. I will not be relegated to nothing but a cheerleader back there while Brianna Casablancas prepares for a main event match on my show. I am the marquee player here and I always have been and it makes me sick to not be included when I begged for an opportunity. What the boys and I did at Death March, That was some legendary shit. I live my life one day, one match, one breath at a f******g time and I wanted nothing more than to be included in tonight’s. I guess I just ain’t relevant enough in this company anymore. It’s ok though, I promised tonight that I would get some attention, Even if I had to bring it on myself, I promised I’d make a statement… So here we go…
~He turns his attention to Smith sitting at the announce table. Grenier slides under the bottom rope and stands right in front of the OCW Commentator. Bob grabs him by the tie and throws him into the ring, He grabs the shovel and begins to choke Smith with the handle while he is on the ground, He pushes it down on his windpipe and screams. “Tell them who the face of OCW is, You’re the f******g voice aren’t you?” Smith cannot respond. Bob then brings a stunned Smith to his knees and has the handle of the shovel across his neck when Knux and other OCW rush to the ring…~
Bob: Welsh, You’re not a stupid man! All I wanted, All I asked for was a goddamn match and an opportunity, To not be completely f****g ignored like I’m some f****g newbie. I should be booked in a match on every goddamn show, I don’t take nights off and you know this!
~Bob picks up Smith and is about to deliver The Stroke ala Chad Vargas, with the shovel still across his neck. Knux makes a dash for the ring... Bob throws Smith to the ground and begs Knux to get in the ring. All of a sudden “The Needle and The Spoon” hits and Chad Vargas comes out of nowhere! Knux turns around and is met with a Vargas headbutt, Knux and Vargas brawl in the aisle and more security guards storm out, Grenier reaches the floor and also starts fighting with security as well, Bob launches one security guard into the guardrail and hits another with The Hollinger Park Hangman on the floor, Knux and Vargas continue to exchange punches. Knux begins to retreat as Vargas and Grenier try to coax him back down the aisle~
Bob: Next week on this program Welsh, Instead of giving matches to the likes of Peter Puffer and Goofy Chris, You are going to give us a tag team match like we goddamn well asked for this week or the violence will continue. I’m sick to death of being written off! We are OCW!
Vargas: When we murder our goddamn f****t opponents in the middle that ring next week then.. You’re gonna give as a tag team title match at Throwback, You hear me back there? We’ve been here for 5 goddamn years Welsh, 5 goddamn years and the only thing you can give me this week is Tony The Spider? You also choose to leave Grenier off the damn show all together? Have you not been paying attention to this man for the past 5 years? WEAK ASS BOOKING! The pussy shit stops here fuckwad.
~Vargas drops the mic and motions for him and Grenier to “get the fuck outta this arena” the two OCW legends exit to a loud chorus of boos~
Smith: Grenier and Vargas, like many others, seem focused on those tag titles.
Hood: Grenier has also been hitting the pipe pretty hard since Death March. He has no idea Welsh didn't book this show!
Smith: That or he refuses to acknowledge Zybala as a person of power
Hood: Yea, that could be it
~In the hallway outside of the guys locker room is the Bad Ass James Kellogg’s private dressing room, a kids clubhouse. It’s been decorated for the holidays with lights, garland and candy canes. Very festivus~
~Double J Joe Jones walks up to the playhouse with the OCW Craze title on his shoulder and an envelope in his hand. He bends down a tad and knocks on the plastic door and then takes a step back. After a couple of seconds, the top part of the door opens up, as it’s a dutch door. The Bad Ass sticks his head out and naturally looks up.~
“Oh! Joe! Well fuck man! Nice to see you.”
“James.”
“Yeah, give me a second. I’ll be right out.”
“Okay. Take your time.”
~James closes the top part of the door as Joe waits. A few OCW stage hands walk by and Joe nods at them. After a couple of seconds James emerges from his private dressing room.~
“Sup Joey! How was the holiday?”
“Good! It was good. Here. I got you something. I know how you feel about gift giving and all, but I couldn’t help myself and I got you a, (dramatic pause) little…...something.”
~James glares at Joe as Joe hands him the envelope. James takes it and gives Joe the stink eye~
“You know I hate this right? Fucking Christmas and all.”
“Oh! This isn’t a Christmas gift.”
“No? Not my birthday. And I’m not fucking Jewish either.”
“I know. This is a Giftmas gift.”
“A? What?”
“Giftmas.”
“What the fuck is Giftmas?”
“I read a article on this website, it was some clickbait shit on facebook, I clicked on it like a moron and it was a article about renaming Christmas as to not offend anyone and call it what this holiday is all about. Giftmas! Merry Giftmas buddy!”
~James looks at the envelope and then looks up at Joe. It then all clicked with him~
“I fucking love Giftmas! Fuck yeah! Giftmas rules! Thanks buddy!”
“No problem little buddy. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you on Giftmas.”
“Gee thanks. What did you get me?”
“Well open it!”
“I WILL! HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME!” James says as he tears open the envelope. “Man, I would kiss the guy who thought up Giftmas, he’s a fucking genius!”
~James opens the envelope and pulls out a card. The card says Merry Giftmas on the front with a forever life Giftmas tree on the front of it. (A tree that hasn’t been cut down) Inside it reads Merry Giftmas and there is a gift card inside of it~
“Awe! You got me a gift card on Giftmas!”
“Not just any gift card, a Giftmas gift card from….”
“Sugar Valentine has gift cards?” James says all surprised.
“I was surprised too, but he does. How could I not get you one.”
~James holds up the gift card with Sugar’s mug on it. James is all smiles.~
“Man! I can’t wait to redeem this bitch! Thanks Joe! Merry Giftmas!”
~Joe kneels down and Joe and James hug it out~
“Merry Giftmas to you too.”
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: The Giftmas movement is gaining steam, it appears
Hood: I can't wait for next Giftmas! I'm going to receive so many gifts!
Smith: You're supposed to give as well as receive
Hood: There's no fun in giving! That costs money
Smith: Well I can cross you off my list for next year!
Hood: Fine by me. I'm sick and tired of receiving gift cards for Panera Bread. Their food blows.
Smith: You obviously have no taste. Well folks, it's time for our third match of the evening as OCW Icon, Chad Vargas, makes his 2019 in ring debut against Tony the Spider!
Singles Match
Chad Vargas (24-7) vs. Tony the Spider (7-5)
~The crowd continues to act in a heated manner. And, no, they aren’t trying to fight one another…they aren’t hurling “YO MOMMA” jokes around. They aren’t even groping one another in a very intrusive manner (as if innocuous groping exists). They are, simply, READY FOR SOME IN RING ACTION. Belvedere clears his throat! They get even more heated!! The flame is stoked!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first…
~”JUMP” by Van Halen begins to play. Smoke fills the entrance way as TONY THE SPIDER emerges! The crowd goes wild! Tony looks bigger than ever. His mullet is in FULL FORCE. Some smoke gets in his eyes. He fires up and kicks the smoke machine out of the way. It flies into the crowd possibly injuring some fans. The cheers die down as the fans seem concerned. A red faced Tony marches down the ramp, toward the ring. He rolls in under the bottom rope~
Belvedere: From Emilio’s Garage…standing 5’6 and weighing at a weight considerably over 190lbs…Tony the Spider!
Smith: It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the infamous Tony the Spider…but he has been hitting the gym harder in recent…months?
Hood: Rumor has it those ‘guns’ that appear to be forming are the product of something more than weights
Smith: Crossfit?
Hood: I don’t think so
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits and the crowd gives a strong reaction to the “Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!! Some are booing…some are cheering…the man has transcended the heel/face dichotomy and receives what’s known as VARGAS HEAT. Vargas appears! He’s focused. He’s got a couple of tall boys in his left hand, one stacked on top of the other. He marches down to the ring with his eyes focused on Tony~
Smith: And there he is! The OCW legend is back for another tour! It’s 2019 and Chad Vargas looks as good as ever
Hood: If there were any man who could appreciate a mullet in 2019…it’d be Chad Vargas
Smith: I…I guess so
~Vargas rolls into the ring to a huge response from the crowd. He holds both beers high in the air which draws more cheers than boos~
Belvedere: From Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is…“The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
~Belvedere exits while the crowd is paying Chad his respect. The bell sounds. Vargas heads toward Tony with a beer extended. Tony looks down at the beer. He shakes his head ‘no’. The crowd boos~
Smith: Tony, adhering to his new training regimen, is declining the alcoholic invitation!
Hood: The guy still has a gelatinous gut. One beer isn’t going to ruin his ‘pristine’ physique
Smith: Maybe he wants to remain coherent for the match…this might be the biggest match of his career
~Tony, feeling the peer pressure from the OCW fanbase begins to chuckle. His chuckling grows into a full on Tony belly laugh. He reaches out, snares the beer and throws it back. The crowd goes wild! Vargas tosses his back. Tony attempts to stop drinking but sees Vargas pounding his back without hesitation. So, Tony continues to chug. Beer spills from both sides of his mouth. His eyes are wide. It’s obviously a struggle. Vargas, meanwhile, sucks it down with ease~
Smith: And impromptu beer chugging competition?
Hood: CLASSIC OCW!
Smith: Can Tony’s tiny body handle that much beer that fast?
Hood: Does it matter?
~Vargas finishes and crushes his can, tossing it into the crowd. Tony tries to pull his can down. Vargas reaches over and taps the bottom of the tall boy. He shakes his head ‘no’ and lifts the can back to Tony’s lips. Tony’s eyes stretch as far open as they are capable. Vargas forces the can to his lips and continues lifting it up, pouring what remains into the tiny mouth of Tony the Spider. Tony coughs and gags. He nearly spits it up but…but…but…eventually, he gets it all down!! Tony doubles over and coughs. He lets out a really loud, long belch. Vargas pats him on the back asking “You gonna be okay?”~
Smith: I don’t think Tony is used to chugging that much beer
Hood: Time to man up or spill your guts all over that canvas
Smith: I’m sure a lot of viewers are having flashbacks to the holiday season watching Tony’s reaction on screen this very moment
Hood: I know one person wri…err watching this who is, for sure!
~Tony stands up. He’s manned up! He’s holding it down. He gives Vargas a thumb up! Vargas takes the tall boy from Tony…he crushes it and tosses it into the crowd! He holds Tony’s hand up to a huge ovation!! Tony nods and coughs and nods again. He appears worse for wear. His eyes are watered up and his skin seems stretched. Standing next to Tony, Vargas continues to hold the tiny man’s arm up, giving him that moment of triumph. It’s followed instantly by disaster…Vargas pulls Tony in close and drops him to the mat with THE STROKE!!! The crowd booos!!!! Vargas rolls Tony over and makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…“THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS!!!!!
Smith: Oh come on!
Hood: I think even Stevie Wonder saw that coming
Smith: I genuinely thought Vargas was congratulating Tony!
~Vargas pops back to his feet. He places his foot on Tony’s belly and steps over him, using all his weight. Tony’s body lifts up, violently as his mouth opens and he…~
Smith: AH!!! CUT AWAY!
Hood: Fuckin gross, man!
1:30 AM
Local Hospital.
~Inside of a ER room laying on a bed is The Captain who was driven into the mat via a piledriver at Death March a couple of hours prior. After which he was placed on a backboard, his neck placed in a brace and rushed to the local hospital. A MRI was done and now he waits for the results. A ice cooling machine is hooked up to him to pump ice cold fluid down his neck and spine like they would for Football players who suffer neck injuries on the field. The Captain is sleeping and right next to him at his side is Nanook~
~The whole night fell apart for Nanook when Joe pointed out the fine print which Nanook did not take a few seconds to read. Sitting in that room next to The Captain who might not be able to walk again, he is questioning himself on why he didn’t read the blasted contract. Angry at himself for letting Joe get one over him, for not knowing that Joe sank every penny he earned the last couple of years to get the one guy out of the prison system who has the biggest ax to grind, the one guy on the face of the planet that he screwed over so hard, it is not out of the question for Chamber to behead him once he gets his hands on him. Chamber is not afraid to go back to prison. Chamber is not afraid of a murder rap. It’s not a deterrent for him. Chamber will get his pound of flesh. (Keep watching the CD board for more on this backstory. More is coming)~
~Nanook sits almost lifeless himself. Staring at the floor, questioning life. His phone is buzzing away, almost non stop as his wife Summer is texting him ever since she watched what happened live on TV. It’s like he’s not even hearing his phone going off. Nanook doesn’t notice anything going on right now. He doesn’t even notice Joe Jones has entered the room.~
~Joe takes the contract and tosses it on the bed in front of Nanook, snapping Nanook out of the daze he was in.~
“Huh! What? Joe? No! Is he here?” Nanook says in a panic, getting ready to bolt from his chair and run somewhere in case Chamber is close behind.
Joe smirks. “Relax tubby. Chamber is….” Joe tries to explain the “house” his uncle is calling home these days. “In his cage.”
~Nanook slowly closes his eyes and starts to try and calm himself down. He’s still on edge but settles into the chair.~
“How’s Cap here?” Joe asks.
“Don’t know. Doctor says that he doesn’t have life alter damag, but said his wrestling career is over with. He should be able to walk after rehab is their guess. I guess we’ll see.” Nanook says as he looks at The Captain and looks back down at the floor, blaming himself for his condition.
“Well that’s good.” Joe says. Nanook looks at Joe.
“Where’s Armstrong?”
“Well!” Joe begins to say. “After seeing Chamber in action, he shit himself. Literally shit himself and said he was done. He’s going back home to milk cows.”
Nanook nods. “I see.”
“Can’t blame him. But now we have a problem.”
“A problem?” Nanook says as he glances at the Captain. “Really?”
“You signed that contract for this handicapped match. Both of the guys you listed as being in the match, are out with injury or suddenly retired.”
“And?”
“The new GM Zybala, he really wants to see that match now. You could say, he has a hard on to see Chamber fuck shit up. He rambled on about ratings, ticket sales, etc. So, if your two guys can’t go, you’ll have to find someone else.”
“Are you serious? I’m not sending my worst enemy in that ring to face fucking Steve. I’m not risking any more of my guys. It’s a suicide mission. You tell our new GM that that this match isn’t happening. I don’t care what the fuck he says. I’ll pay whatever. It’s not happening.”
~Joe takes a seat on the foot of the bed, shoving the Captain’s feet over and crosses his arms.~
“I told him that you would say that. He didn’t care. He said, and this is a direct quote. People love car crashes. They won’t admit it, but everyone slows down and rubber necks. That handicapped match is a 50 car pile up on the interstate. It’ll be covered on the news, tons of picture and videos on social media. I want my viral videos, even if Nanook himself has to get in that ring and face Chamber, it’s going to happen.”
“Is that so?” Nanook says as his blood starts to boil.
“It looks like it Fatty. Old Steve is going to get his hands on you and I know he’ll be like a pig in shit. It won’t be fun for you. Especially when he nails that pile driver on you, on the concrete floor.”
~Nanook crosses his arms, pinches the bridge of his nose. This night just keeps getting worse for him~
“Unless.” Joe says. He takes the folder that has the contract in it and flips it open and flips to a bunch of papers that are paper clipped together towards the back. “You sign these.”
Nanook looks at it on the bed. “What, what the fuck is that?”
“Contract that states you forfeit the match.”
~Nanook stares at it~
“Sign that and the match is off. You lose, I win. I keep OGDA’s contract. I get The Captain’s contract. Armstrongs. Team ATARI. All of them. I get all of the assets, property that ESM holds. I get all of it. Lock. Stock. Barrell. Mine.”
~Joe takes his pen from his pocket, clicks it and drops it on the contract. Nanook stares at it. Everything he built for the past 15 years will be taken away from him, all of it. His way of life, gone. All down the drain. His greediness has come back to bite him~
“Or you can face Chamber. Take your pick. Either way, ESM is going to be mine. You no show, it’s all mine. You show up, and flings yourself out of the ring and get counted out. ESM is mine. Show up, take the beating, join the Captain here in a bed right to him, ESM is mine. You lose either way.”
~Joe leans in towards Nanook to catch his eye~
“Unless, of course, you can beat the monster.” Joe says and starts to snicker.
“I fucking hate you! I will get even. I don’t know how, I don’t when, but I will get even! You hear me? I will fucking destroy you!” Nanook says. He snatches up the pen and signs everything away and throws the bed across the room. “Now, get the fuck out!”
~Joe, all smiles. Gathers up the paperwork and tucks it under his arm and stands up~
“Just so there isn’t any hard feelings. I’m going to retain your services. In this contract, when you get time, you should read it. I feel there is a outcry from the fans to see Nanook in that ring once again.”
~Nanook shots Joe a look~
“Don’t worry Tubby. I won’t book ya against Chamber. Doesn’t make any sense to have two ESM guys fighting one another, for now.” Joe says and starts to walk out of the room. “I’ll be in touch Nanny.”
~Joe leaves, Nanook is boiling in anger~
“Asshole.” He mumbles to himself.
~Fade back to the announcer’s table~
Smith: Joe continues to plague Nanook
Hood: Nanook could make things better by going on a diet. That would at least increase his conditioning.
Smith: I'm not going to crack jokes over a man's life being controlled by a malevolent creep. I hope Nanook is able to find a way out of this
Smith: Here comes our NEW general manager!
Hood: Seriously considering early retirement right about now...
~General Manager Zybala walks out from behind the curtain and smiles at the fans go nuts. Zybala looks around for a moment before taking a deep breath and walks down the ramp. He high fives fans on the way, stopping for selfies with the people, signing autographs, basically everything Welsh wouldn't do. Zybala finally makes it to the ring and enters it. Belvedere raises his microphone as the music stops and the fans quiet down a little bit~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you OCW's NEW General Manager, MIKE ZYBALA!!
The fans go crazy once again with cheers and applause as Zybala shakes Belvedere's hand, thanking him, and also requesting the microphone. Belvedere graciously hands it over and leaves the ring. Zybala soaks in the cheers a little while longer before raising the microphone.
Zybala: Man, that is so nice to hear! Yes, it's true friends and fans. Yours truly is the new g.m. and there is gonna be some changes here! First off, none of this favoritism crap Welsh had going on. I don't care if I like you, hate you, or indifferent; if you want anything in OCW, you have to earn it. No free hand outs, no easy passes. Like I said when I was put in charge of the Craze Title division, hard work is what I'm looking for.
Just like the hard work Ninety Eight percent of everyone who fought at Death March put in. Holy shit! I watched every match, obviously cheering for my teams, but also appreciating the hard work Welsh's teams put in to. Every single one of you are all in contention for some sort of title shot in my eyes.
Speaking of titles, this whole mess with the Tag Team belts has been driving me nuts. Welsh made a fuckary of that situation before he left. I have decided, however, that the titles will be defended at Throwback! Now, as for the teams...interest has really picked up since Death March in regards to the tag belts. So, I will continue to evaluate the teams in OCW and will make a decision very soon.
I won't stay out here for much longer. I only have one more thing to say and that is concerning the vacant commissioner spot. I was going to give it to Welsh, but he hasn't returned any of my calls. I understand we just got done with the holidays, but it doesn't take that long to respond with a simple yes or no. Now, I know he's probably still chewing on a few sour grapes about me having his job, so I'll give him some more time to get back to. Though I won't wait forever. Who knows, if he doesn't want the job, maybe my Outsider's buddy Dean would like to be commish.
~The fans cheer at that as Zybala exits the ring and heads towards the back~
Smith: Dean getting his foot back in the OCW door?
Hood: Oh that's just GREAT. I knew when Lurrr started showing back up that Dean was going to get his ass squeezed back into that front office
Smith: It's all up to Welsh, Hood.
Hood: Welsh, I know this sucks. But, hey, Zybala isn't that smart, we all know this. So just show back up, do your commissioner job and figure out a way to outsmart him and reclaim your job. It can't be THAT HARD
Smith: You seem to have zero fear of our new GM
Hood: Unless he can throw a power ranger figure 90mph and hit me in the head with it then, yes, I have zero fear of that man
Smith: You may eat those words, Hood.
Smith: Well, it looks like we are going backstage.
Hood: It’s time to be Worthy.
~We head backstage as we see PerZag walking down a long corridor. He is staring straight ahead as he gets his mind prepared for his Worthy Challenge match against Brianna Casablancas later in the evening. He lifts his arm up to check his watch, obviously trying to determine what the time is, before he stops in his tracks. Suddenly, Jeff Jones comes into view of the camera with both the Tag Team Titles draped across each of his shoulders. He puts his hand out for a handshake~
Jeff Jones: Well well. If it isn't the icon of OCW that should have won the Death March...
~PerZag looks down at Jeff Jones’ hand, and puts his up, shaking it. Jones grabs PerZag’s hand tighter before PerZag is able to speak, and Jones starts himself~
Jeff Jones: The pleasure is all mine, Mr Zag.
~Jones lets go of PerZag’s hand, and puts his hand in his pocket, pulling out a business card. He hands it over to PerZag~
Jeff Jones: That, there, is my card. As you've no doubt seen by now, I am in search of the...shall we say, "worthiest" of clientele, what with the sudden void left by my prior client's departure for Hollywood fame.
~Jones takes a moment to look PerZag up and down~
Jeff Jones: And, my my I must say as a connoisseur of this business, this company is not worthy of seeing such a flawless performance. And whew, these titles...they're so heavy on an old man's shoulders like mine.
~Jones motions the Tag Team Championships at PerZag~
Jeff Jones: So, what do you say? I bet they'd look...most worthy, on yours....................
~PerZag stops for a moment, contemplating the offer, before responding~
PerZag: Well, thank-you, Jeff. At least it seems that someone here knows what true Worthiness means. And, well, those Tag Team Titles would definitely be a good gift…….can I have a look at them?
~Jones nods his head, and offers one of the Tag Titles to PerZag. PerZag grabs it, and looks at it, taking the championship belt in~
PerZag: This is one of the remaining titles that I have yet to hold in this place, but………
~PerZag hands it back to Jones~
PerZag:......I have yet to come to a decision on what I want to do. I will give you a call for what I decide, when I do.
~Jones nods his head~
Jeff Jones: Don't think too long now, Mr Zag. There's no telling how long before some far, far unworthy hooligan arrives in attempt at taking these for themselves. That would be a real shame........
PerZag: ...
Jeff Jones: Apologies, wouldn't want to make the true star of OCW feel uncomfortable now. I trust I'll hear back from you by Throwback, though, yes?
~Jones offers his hand out to PerZag, and they shake before PerZag walks off, continuing down the corridor~
Jeff Jones: You're the man, PerZag, you're the man. I'm just the man behind the man.
~PerZag looks back at Jones, and then at the business card in his hands, before placing it in his pocket. He looks back down the corridor, and stops, a smile going across his face. The camera pans across to seeing Kitty Petrova come into view after her big debut earlier on in the evening~
PerZag: Kitty Petrova, it’s nice to see you again. Let me officially welcome you to OCW, and congratulate you on your win tonight. I would say big win, but it was John E. Depth, if he won, it would be a BIG win.
Kitty Petrova: A win is a win, isn’t it? It is good to see you again, Zag.
~PerZag smiles and nods his head~
PerZag: And OCW of all places, the place that I started off my career in this industry. Of all the places for us to catch up again, it is here. It is good to see a face I recognise come through this place as a newcomer of the company.
Kitty Petrova: I am glad to be here. It seems like a good place to be.
PerZag: Well, it isn’t what it was like five years ago now, but it’s not bad. Either way, it’s good that you are here, but I better get going. Got a match tonight.
Kitty Petrova: Good luck tonight, Zag, and if you ever needed an ally down the track, I am here.
PerZag: Thanks Kitty, same to you as well.
~PerZag walks off, continuing down the corridor before running into the backstage interviewer, Who’Re. She holds onto a microphone, and steps towards PerZag~
Who’Re: Hi, PerZag, let me be among the first to welcome you back to OCW, may I get a moment of your time.
~PerZag smiles, and nods his head~
PerZag: For sure.
Who’Re: Well, since your return, let’s just say there has been a lot of speculation as to what might be on the horizon for PerZag here in OCW in 2019, so can you give us some extra light to the speculation.
PerZag: I can, but what specifically are you wanting to know?
Who’Re: What we want to know, or at least I want to know, is if you are officially a part of the Team 2015 stable alongside Bob Grenier, Chad Vargas and of course, Mack O’Connor?
PerZag: Alright, I can give you a bit of information on that. And it’s hard for me to say. If it wasn’t for Mack O’Connor, I am not even sure if I would be back in OCW at all. He brought me back, and of course Bob Grenier is a former teammate of mine dating back to 2014, and then there is Vargas, who well, I have never liked, but I have to admit is a good competitor. These three brought me back, so I guess I am definitely a part of their group, as long as they still want to be Worthy.
~PerZag starts chuckling to himself~
Who’Re: Well, what about Mr. Jeff Jones? He literally just offered you his business card before.
~PerZag stops chuckling, and stares directly at Who’Re~
PerZag: Were you stalking me?
Who’Re: Well…...I……..No……….Yes………..I mean…………
PerZag: It’s OK Who’Re, I am just messing you. And yes, I guess he did just offer me his business card, and well, I may be considering other options, if they are prosperous. I guess I could count Kitty into that occasion too. I have an ally there as well. Who knows? At this current moment though, Team 2015 is quite a prosperous, and dare I say, Worthy, group to be a part of. And we will take back OCW, and make it Worthy again.
Who’Re: Well, thank-you for the interview PerZag.
PerZag: No problem.
~PerZag walks past Who’Re and continues down the corridor, he stops in his tracks, and looks back~
PerZag: I should get her number. She may be up for some Worthy things, if you know what I am saying.
~PerZag goes to walk back towards Who’Re, but is cut off by some random backstage person coming out of a room~
PerZag: Hey, watch where you are going.
~The person stops in his track, and looks at PerZag, and a smile crosses his face~
?: Oh My God, I cannot believe I am meeting PerZag on my first night here.
PerZag: Oh, for fuck sake, another fucking groupie backstage. Hey, you don’t have a fucking visitors badge. Where’s security?
~PerZag looks around for security~
?: No, silly, I am no groupie. I am the new signee to OCW. In fact, I have been scheduled for a match against Shootah next week on Massacre.
PerZag: Wait, they gave you a contract. Who the fuck are you?
?: Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself, silly me, I am Per Ziggity Zag.
~PerZag stares at the poor excuse of a man, anger and frustration flooding through him~
PerZag: Wait, you are the asshole that stole my fucking name. That’s it, I am talking to Zybala, and he is going to give me the chance to beat the fucking shit out of you.
Per Ziggity Zag: Woah, woah, woah, you should not swear like that. Swearing is bad, and anyhow, I never stole your name. My real name is Per Ziggity Zag.
~PerZag looks at Per Ziggity Zag, dumbstruck~
PerZag: Seriously. You changed your name to that. What the hell was your name beforehand?
Per Ziggity Zag: Well, that doesn’t matter, but if you really want to know, it was Richard Freeman.
PerZag: Wait, your name was Dick Free Man.
~PerZag starts laughing at Per Ziggity Zag as in the background we hear the crowd chanting ‘Dick Free Man’ over and over again~
Per Ziggity Zag: Yeah, I know, it was bad. Kids picked on me all the time at school. But, that’s why I changed my name. Changed it in honour of my favourite wrestler.
PerZag: Seriously though, using my name is not fucking cool. I could sue you for this.
Per Ziggity Zag: Well, not actually, see, since I changed my name to it, it is legal, no matter what you say. And anyhow, why bother trying to sue me, when we could just be tag partners. The two Zags. Hell, you and I can team up against Depth and Shootah next week. I can go and talk to Mikey about it.
~PerZag puts his hand against his head~
PerZag: You are on first name basis with Zybala already. Fucking hell this shit is giving me a headache.
Per Ziggity Zag: You really shouldn’t use swear words like that. Try using fruiting heck instead. People may be offended by the word hell as well.
PerZag: Seriously, how are you a fan of me? You know what, nevermind. You know what? I like that tag idea.
~A smile grows on Per Ziggity Zag’s face~
PerZag: If only hell froze over, oh, sorry, I meant heck.
~Suddenly PerZag grabs Per Ziggity Zag, and tosses him face first into the door to the room beside them, breaking the door down, and sending Per Ziggity Zag into the room. PerZag looks into the room as Per Ziggity Zag lays down, unconscious, before smiling, and walking off~
PerZag: Well, I guess Shootah is going to have an easy win next week.
~As he walks down the corridor, suddenly a man races past the screen, smacking PerZag in the back of the head with a baseball bat. PerZag drops to the ground, grabbing at the back of his head as the man moves back into screen, and stand over PerZag. He bends over, giving us a look at his mask, before he raises the baseball bat again, and smacks it in the back of PerZag’s head a second time. The man walks off as we see officials coming into screen, checking on PerZag~
Smith: Well, it seems that PerZag has a few people willing to work with him.
Hood: And one unworthy asshole who is scared of him.
Smith: Wait, why is he scared of him?
Hood: Because he attacked PerZag from behind.
Smith: Well, what if PerZag attacked him from behind?
Hood: That’s simple. He’s unworthy, PerZag’s just taking out the trash.
Smith: Uh, of course he is. Well folks it's time for our next match this evening as King Infinity looks to rebound after coming up just short at Death March! He will be taking on the reigning Newcomer of the Month, Legion
Singles Match
“King Infinity” Aidan Collins (11-1) vs. the Queenslayer Legion (2-0)
~The crowd is eager for some more in ring action! The night continues to roll and we’ve seen some impressive performances thus far…albeit ONE SIDED performances but, hey, what are you going to do? Anyway, Belvedere stands in the ring looking as Belvish as ever. He clears his throat to a massive ovation~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The sound of a clock counting down hits the P.A. system and there is a mixed reaction from the fans as the arena is plunged into darkness. As the clock winds down, the image of a novelty snow globe comes up on the big screen. It’s fashioned like a snow globe, except it looks as though there is a desert sandstorm going on within! Being buried by layers upon layers of sand, it seems as though a miniature Starlight is in a deep slumber..~
Belvedere: “Coming to us from AOKIGAHARA, JAPAN..”
~The desert snow globe shatters loudly as the main part of the song kicks in. The Legion inside is wide awake with purpose. Like a true ronin, the miniature Legion from the globe is up to her feet and ready for action, and she becomes full size in front of the eyes of the fans on the big screen. The fans cheer as the house lights fade back in, accompanied by neon blue searchlights emanating from the side of the ramp, and they cheer even louder as the curtains are thrown back and Starlight appears on the entrance ramp with a confident, knowing smile..~
Belvedere: “Standing at FIVE FOOT THREE INCHES tall and weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN POUNDS! REPRESENTING JAPAN”
[Violin drop]
~Legion makes her way down the ramp at the same pace as the music, reaching ringside and climbing the steps before leaping majestically over the top rope and throwing up her trademark taunt to another cheer..~
Belvedere: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE QueenSlayer, the Last Ronin Legion
Smith: The reigning newcomer of the month!
Hood: I’d say she’s the frontrunner for Newcomer of the Year
Smith: Quite the limb you’re going out on, Hood
~Legion remains in her corner, ready for her opponent. The boos already start to emerge as the fans are well aware of who is about to make their way to the ring~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~As the beginning chords of "The Penetrating Eye" by Thee Oh Sees begins to play, a shower of sparks falls from the ceiling brightening the arena. Through the embers that fall gracefully onto the entrance ramp, the titantron shows an image of view of a camera zooming in on a star. The camera rises from their seats, anticipating the emergence of the New Face of OCW...~
BAM!
~As the main guitar riff from "The Penetrating Eye" kicks in, a firecracker bursts on the stage and the shower of sparks ends. Accompanying the loud crack of the explosive, the star on the tron explodes. In the newfound space, a name is displayed:~
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
Aidan Collins
King Infinity
~When Aidan Collins makes his way from the back, the crowd responds loudly--mostly with jeers and booing, but also with a fair amount of very loud cheers. Aidan stops on the stage to stare out at the crowd, taking in the reaction with a slight smirk. Turning, he holds out his arms to display his ring jacket, a biker-style jean jacket that is filled with psychedelic patches (including one across the shoulders that says 'KING INFINITY'). Aidan turns back around and takes a deep breath before focusing his attention on the ring~
~On his way down the entrance ramp, Aidan yells out to the crowd that he's the best. As they boo him, he holds his hand to his ear, encouraging them to get riled up.~
~After walking up the ring steps to enter the ring, Aidan quickly gets onto the nearest second turnbuckle, facing the audience. There, he takes off his jacket and makes it seem like he will throw the crowd the jacket before casually dropping it on the floor next to the ring, much to their disappointment. Aidan takes one last moment to assess the crowd before jumping down from the corner. He is now ready to compete.~
Belvedere: From Hell’s Kitchen, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs… …“King Infinity” Aidan Collins!!!
Hood: Hey!
Smith: What?
Hood: He didn’t announce Aidan properly. King Infinity is the future FACE of OCW!
Smith: Zybala is in charge now, Hood
Hood: Fuck this shit!
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. The crowd is firmly behind Legion. A ‘Legion’ chant comes to life. Collins looks around with a derisive expression. Looking around at the crowd he asks, “Really?”~
Smith: Aidan Collins came so close to winning Death March. He was one move away from facing Meyhu at Throwback for the OCW Championship
Hood: He’s the true winner of Death March, if you ask me
Smith: Yea, well your records are irrelevant
Hood: Ouch, man
~Aidan approaches Legion. He seems to take her appearance less than seriously. Legion looks up at King Infinity. She’s got the gaze of a warrior ready for combat. Collins scoffs at the look in her eye and pie faces Legion!! The crowd boos in response. Legion’s head jerks to the right. It remains there for a second or two as Legion soaks in the perfunctory act. She then turns around and blows MIST into the face of Aidan!!! The crowd goes wild!! King Infinity staggers back, stunned~
Smith: The Mist!! The arrogant King Infinity might be in serious trouble!
Hood: Are you fucking serious? One week in and Zybala is going to kill King Infinity!
Smith: Hey, he has nobody to blame but himself!
~Collins stumbles into the ropes and staggers forward, trying to get the mist out of his eyes. Legion yells out and charges his way. She lunges forward, leaping with a Claymore Kick (Ronin’s Revenge)!!!! Collins ducks! Legion stumbles forward, her hands finding the ropes to regain her balance. She turns around to find Collins and is cut in half (not literally) via THE ICE PICK!!! The momentum is so intense that Legion winds up front first on the mat. Collins, on his knees, reaches for the ropes to regain his footing. The crowd is, of course, booing~
Smith: No! So close!
Hood: Whew…holy shit, that was way too close.
Smith: Had Legion nailed Ronin’s Revenge dare I say…she may have pinned King Infinity
Hood: You go too far, Smith
~Aidan wipes the majority of the mist from around his eyes and flings it toward the mat. He frowns with disgust and says “Fucking bitch.” He bends over and grabs Legion by the arm. He pulls her to her feet, measures her up and slams the shit out of her with Hell’s Kaleidoscope!!!! Legion is down and out. Collins makes the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….“KING INFINITY” AIDAN COLLINS!!!!!
Smith: Short match but a valiant effort by Legion
Hood: Seriously?
Smith: Hey…she tried
Hood: You are the most biased commentator in the history of non-political television
~Collins places his palm in the side of Legion’s face and shoves it away in disgust. He gets to his feet and refuses to let Scruff raises his hand. Instead, he reminds everyone that he is still THE FACE OF OCW before exiting the ring~
Smith: A strong showing by King Infinity. With or without Welsh this man is a main event player
Hood: No, no, no…he’s the FACE of OCW
Smith: I believe that man is Matt Meyhu
Hood: He’s a decaying face. Like that old relative at the family reunion everyone tries to ignore. Aidan’s the guy pulling into the party with a fresh luxury car and tailored suit.
Smith: I’m sure Meyhu will love that analogy.
~The scene opens up as we head backstage and we see PerZag sitting in a medical room being checked by doctors~
PerZag: I fucking told you that I am fine. It doesn’t matter what that asshole did, I will kick Brianna Casablancas’ ass, no matter what.
Doctor: We have to check anyhow, Mr. Zag. It’s policy.
PerZag: Fuck policy. If OCW had it there way, Knife Man would be working on me. Yeah, that ain’t fucking happening.
Doctor: So, everything seems to be fine. You don’t seem to have a concussion, which is beyond me. A baseball bat to the back of the head twice should give you a concussion, but everything seems fine.
PerZag: That’s because I am Worthy. Worthy people are fucking tough.
Doctor: Well, either way, you are good to go.
PerZag: Thank fuck for that.
~PerZag stands up, and heads for the door, but it opens as we see a man in a police uniform step in through the door with Who’Re next to him~
Policeman: How do you feel, Mr Zag?
PerZag: Fucking peachy.
Policeman: Yeah, I bet, anyhow I have spoken to Miss Who’Re here, and she talked to me about the attacker, but I wanted to know what you can recall from what happened earlier this evening.
PerZag: Seriously, for fuck’s sake, it was on camera, wasn’t it. Some asshole attacked me. From behind. Like a pussy. I didn’t even get to see him.
Policeman: Well, that’s what we needed to know. If you saw him or not. Either way, Miss Who’Re here described your attacked, and we managed to get an image of him off of the cameras.
~The policeman passes the image over to PerZag as PerZag looks at the masked man in the image~
PerZag: So, this asshole is wearing a fucking Deathstroke mask from the arrow TV Show. For fuck sakes. You have to have some idea who it is, right?
Policeman: Well, we believe it is a fan who managed to get a backstage pass, and a baseball bat, and somehow was allowed to wear a mask that has nothing to do with wrestling at all, but we are looking into it.
PerZag: Yeah, this is no fucking fan. I’m going to figure out who fucking did this one way or the other. I do have some ideas.
Policeman: I don’t think that that would be wise, sir. Anyhow, I better get going.
~The policeman walks off as Who’Re still stands in the doorway~
Who’Re: Sorry I wasn’t able to help more, PerZag.
PerZag: It’s all good, Who’Re. Whoever it is will be found soon, anyhow.
Who’Re: Well, if you need any help from me, call me.
~Who’Re hands over a card to PerZag, who takes it~
PerZag: Thank-you.
~PerZag walks past Who’Re, and out into the hallway as her and the doctor watch him ago. She looks over at the doctor with a concerned look on her face~
Who’Re: Wait, where’s Per Ziggity Zag?
Doctor: Oh, yeah, I forgot about him.
~We get a brief cutscene where we see Per Ziggity Zag still unconscious on the ground, in the room from earlier, before we go back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: And the mystery continues! Who attacked Zag?
Hood: Per Zaggity Zig?
Smith: I hope not! Regardless, PerZag is back and people are already taking aim and knocking the OCW veteran down. He's got a big match this evening against Brianna.
Hood: Maybe it was the Adverb Brianna Casablancas
Smith: She's the Adjective!
Hood: Geez, my bad...like I'm some kinda english major or something
Smith: Your lack of preparedness is embarrassing. Let's head backstage
~We cut back stage to the former office of Marcus Welsh. Any decor left behind by the general manager of old is gone, replaced by photos of Mike Zybala with different people from over the years and several other items such as old titles and awards Zybala has won throughout his career. The new General Manager is looking at the camera~
Zybala: Hello fans. I know I was out in the ring earlier, and unlike Welsh, I don't want to take up that much screen time. I just wanted to make one more announcement. Starting next week, we will be starting the Mike Roth Memorial Tournament. Now, as much as I thought Uber Man was a bottle of untapped potential, he did happen to have more loses than wins to his name. But he never stopped trying and kept fighting no matter who he faced.
That's what this tournament is about. Not the mega stars of the company like Meyhu, Collins, O'Donnell, Alice, or people like that. It's about the folks that get less screen time because they don't win as often as the other people. It's about the stars that never had a chance to shine under the Welsh regime. It's about proving oneself to the crowd and the locker room. So I am going to spend the rest of the night searching our roster for the 8 less than stellar win/loss records and put them in the tournament. We will have the first round next week, the semi finals the week after that, and the finals at Throwback, where the winner will not only win a trophy that is currently being made, but also face of against the Craze champion at the next pay-per-view after Throwback. Goodluck to everyone involved
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Well that should be interesting!
Hood: I guess...if you find shit like the special olympics riveting
Smith: I'm not touching that one
~ "Kings Never Die" by Eminem fills the arena as the arena fills up quickly to boos. The curtain moves as Curt Canon comes out just shaking his head. “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell comes out but is walking with a noticeable limp. The boos turns to cheers as the fans in attendance see CJ is injured somehow. ~
Hood: What the hell happened to CJ?
Smith: Seems like he is still injured from the match at Death March.
Hood: Really … How do you even still have a job?
Smith: Simple I call it fair and square. I don’t play favorites.
Hood: That is bologna. You worship the ground guys like Ed Houston, Mario Maurako and The Incredible One walk.
Smith: They are great role models for kids and faces of OCW.
Hood: And where is the fun in that.
~CJ and Curt are still dressed in their ring attire. As Canon slides underneath the bottom rope and walks over to the ring announcer and grabs a microphone as O’Donnell pulls himself onto the apron. ~
Canon: Plain and simple we were robbed at Death March. We were screwed over just because we march to the beat of our own drum. No one can control us and that scares people.
~O’Donnell has entered the ring and does not look happy. ~
O’Donnell: You are damn right Curt. And the person I blame is Ed Houston. He was the mastermind behind all of this. The funny part is he claims to be this loyal and honest person but he is fooling each and every one of you.
Canon: Exactly. Did you know he never even went to school to be an astronaut. That was a lie. He also lied about being from Miami, Florida. He actually is from some farm in Iowa. So while you come out here and boo people like us it makes you hypocrites. We are upfront and honest with each of you. It is not our fault that the truth hurts and not everyone is as great as us.
O’Donnell: I couldn’t have said it any better myself.
~ As the fans start to chant for The Rocketman to show his face. ~
O’Donnell: Shut up. He isn’t here tonight. I heard he is busy doing some errands for Zybala. Guess he isn’t a big a star as he thinks he is. Anyway there is someone here that I want to call out. Scruff get your ass here.
Smith: Has CJ lost his mind?
Hood: No. He wants answers and who better to ask than the referee…
Smith: I hope he does realize if he does anything stupid he will be suspended or fined.
Hood: I really don’t think that will bother him that much.
~ Scruff appears on the ramp and begins to walk down to the ring. Scruff enters the ring by using the steps and stepping in between the middle and top ropes. As soon as he steps foot in the ring CJ gets in his face. ~
Smith: O’Donnell better be careful
Hood: He knows what he is doing.
Smith: Scruff looks kind of scared.
Hood: Wouldn’t you be?
Smith: I would have stayed in the back until the Main Event.
Hood: Coward.
O’Donnell: Well …
~ Scruff looks at CJ with a blank stare and shrugs his shoulders. CJ looks as if he is going to burst a blood vessel.~
O’Donnell: Are you kidding me? Admit it.
~ Scruff looks around wondering what he needs to admit. ~
O’Donnell: Are you just gonna stand there like a mute. Speak.
Scruff: Hi.
~ CJ just shakes his head. Caleb gets in the face of Scruff as he is almost nose to nose with him. Curt is telling Caleb to calm down and just talk to him. ~
O’Donnell: Hi .. That’s what you have to say for yourself.
Scruff: Yep.
~ Scruff looks to be terrified as CJ begins to back him into the corner. O’Donnell has had enough and begins to yell at …. ~
O’Donnell: THIS IS YOUR FAULT. IT IS YOUR FAULT MY KNEE IS HURTING ME. IT IS YOUR FAULT WE LOST AT DEATH MARCH. IT WAS A FAST COUNT AND ED CLEARLY HAD MY TIGHTS FOR ADDED LEVERAGE. I WANT YOU TO ADMIT IT THAT ED HOUSTON PAID YOU OFF!
~ Scruff shakes his head back and forth in a no motion. Not smart to do as CJ rage continues to grow as he speak spit begins to fly. ~
O’Donnell: EVERY SINGLE MATCH YOU HAVE CALLED FOR ME I HAVE LOST. YOU WERE THE REFEREE IN THAT TRIPLE THREAT MATCH WHEN MEYHU, TIO AND MYSELF SQUARED OFF. YOU WERE THE REF WHO COST ME MY MATCH AGAINST JACQUI MONROE LAST YEAR. YOU HAVE IT OUT FOR ME. WHY? WHY? WHY?
~ Scruff is backed into the corner and you can tell he is scared shitless as he is beginning to shake. ~
O’Donnell: ANSWER ME … I WANT A REASON SCRUFF. AND IT BETTER BE GOOD OR I AM GOING TO END YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
~ Scruff doesn’t know what to say. You can see the fire burning inside the eyes of O’Donnell as he reaches back and is about to hit Scruff with a closed right fist. Scruff puts his hands up and at the last possible moment before being hit … ~
Scruff: Fine. Houston did pay me off and it was a quick count. I needed to make a quick buck.
~ CJ stops and just stares at him. Canon looks at Scruff and points. He taps CJ on the shoulder and points at Scruff.~
Canon: He pissed himself.
~CJ looks and begins to laugh at Scruff. Scruff slides out of the ring and runs up the ramp.~
O’Donnell: HAHAHAHAHA.
Smith: That was completely uncalled for. Scruff was just doing his job.
Hood: He just admitted to taking a bribe from a superstar. I bet you Zybala doesn’t do anything to Houston because they are friends.
Smith: No proof.
Hood: He just admitted it on television. What more proof do you need?
Smith: Something … Anything. It is his word against Houston’s.
~ O’Donnell and Canon are still both in the ring awaiting for their match to begin against the Danger Boiz. ~
Smith: I seriously hope those two get what they deserve.
Hood: I hate to break it to you but those two are going to destroy the Danger Boiz. They are going to make a statement tonight as to why they should be OCW Tag Team Champions. Let's cut backstage real quick while Scruff changes pants
~Langston storms down the hall, still shouting Collins' name. He suddenly comes to a stop, though, when he sees "Aiden Collins" written on the side of a doorway.~
Smith: Here we go! Langston found Collins' dressing room!
Hood: Someone call Marcus Welsh!
Smith: Don't you mean Zybala?
Hood: Anyone! We've got to stop this!
~Langston grins, reaching out with one hand and yanking the door open towards him. He storms in, looking around.. at the cleaning supplies and mop bucket sitting in front of him. Confused, Langston turns to the camera.. as the door slams shut! Aiden Collins is there, laughing, as he locks the bar into place, securing the door. He pulls off the nameplate, showing that this is actually a storage room. Thuds start to come from the other side of the door.~
Aiden Collins: Seriously? You fell for the old "not my locker room" gag? And you really think you deserve to be in the #1 Contenders match? You're too gullible, Vince. And too stupid.
~The thuds continue, as Collins smoothes out his street clothes, making sure there are no wrinkles showing. He picks up his bag and leans against the door, enjoying himself.~
Aiden Collins: To be a World Champion, Vince, you need more than just muscles. You've got to have brains. You've got to be deserving. And you just aren't there, Vince. You aren't in my league. That's why I'm the Face of OCW, and you're a loser.
~Suddenly there's a louder bang, and Collins finds himself jostled forward. He turns, surprised, as a large crack has appeared on the left of the wooden door. Another hit lands, and another, and a hole starts to appear. Collins looks shocked as he watches the hole getting widened by two large hands pulling pieces off. He turns and grabs his bag, while pulling out his cell phone.~
Aiden Collins: Is the car outside? Get it started, I'm on my way!
~Collins hurries down the hall for the exit, as a bloody hand reaches through the wrecked door and grabs at the bar, working it free. We cut away.~
Smith: Collins may have gotten the better of Langston again, but I think Langston's managed to get into Collins' head as well.
Hood: Collins is a genius, though, he'll have a perfect strategy to defeat Langston and get himself a shot at the title.
Smith: If he survives until then. I wouldn't want to have Langston after me in that frame of mind.
Hood: On that we can agree.
Tag Team Match
CJ O’Donnell & Curt Canon vs. The Danger Boiz
~CJ and Curt are already in the ring. Scruff has new pants and a stoic look about him. He’s apparently ‘okay’ after the earlier intimidation. Perhaps Deangelo Vickers came out and talked to him when we cut away. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is a tag team contest and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… at a total combined weight of 333lbs… “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell and Curt Canon!!!
~The lights go out as a strobe of red and blue begin flashing across the arena~
"I was born in a thunderstorm
~Dan and Chris emerge onto the stage area staring out into the crowd~
"I wanted everything I never had
~Dan and Chris begin making their way towards the ring, embracing the fans, but keeping their emotions in check~
"I had a one way ticket to a place where all the demons go
~Dan now climbs the steps and heads up to the turnbuckle. He points to the crowd, and lip syncs "I'm still breathing..." from his theme song lyrics. Chris slides in under the bottom rope~
~Dan slowly climbs down the turnbuckle and stands in the middle of the ring, as the lights dim and a spotlight shines on him. He falls to his knees as the lyrics from his song blasts over the PA~
"I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIVE...I'm ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"
~The spotlight fades out as Dan stands to his feet and meet Chris in their corner waiting on their opponents~
Smith: The Danger Boiz looking for a strong rebound performance after their disappointing effort at Death March
Hood: Yea…I’m no Danger Boiz fan but they are better than what we saw in December
Smith: Indeed. And with the tag title situation more than a little murky this could be an opportunity for the Danger Boiz to finally capture the OCW Tag Team Championship
Hood: Haha, okay
Belvedere: And their opponents…from Smithville, Tennessee…please welcome back to Monday Night Massacre…Crazy Chris, Dangerous Dan…The Danger Boiz!!!
~A strong ovation from the crowd for the very popular, veteran tag team. Belvedere exits the ring and the bell sounds. Dan shakes his head at the two mega heels standing across the ring from him. Chris pats him on the back and makes his plea to start. Dan obliges, stepping through the ropes~
Smith: Dan and Chris had better keep an eye on their opponents. I wouldn’t trust CJ and Curt as far as I could throw them!
Hood: So you’re saying they are more trust worthy than Bifford?
Smith: That’s not what I meant and you know it!
~Dan calls out to Chris. Chris turns around and receives some last minute advice from his brother. Then, out of nowhere, like a blur we see Canon fly into view!! He leaps through the ropes and runs through Dan with a spear!! The duo fly from the apron and into the barricade, Dan hitting back first!! Canon gets to his feet, wobbly. Chris rushes toward the ropes yelling “DAN!” Before he can do anything, the body of CJ O’Donnell flies into view delivering IRISH KNOWLEDGE to the back of Chris’ head!!! Chris falls into the ropes, hanging limp. He drops to his knees with his arms draped over the middle rope. The crowd boos heavily! They chant “FUCK YOU CJ!” CJ gets to his feet and limps around a bit, showing that his knee is still bothered by what happened at Death March. But, it’s apparently functional enough to knock Crazy Chris out~
Smith: What the?? They just took out the Danger Boiz!
Hood: So? Shit’s legal
Smith: What’s legal? Who’s legal? We need some authority out here to clear up the situation!
~Scruff pats CJ on the back inquiring as to who’s legal. He asks if CJ started the match. CJ shoots Scruff a menacing glare. Scruff instantly signals that CJ is the legal man~
Smith: A+ work once again, Scruff
Hood: Oh quit your bitching…if the Danger Boiz had been paying attention this wouldn’t have happened
Smith: I feel cheated!
Hood: Yea well maybe you shouldn’t leave your wallet laying around, wide open in truck stop restrooms
Smith: Sloppy analogy
~CJ grabs Chris by the back of his mask and drags him into the center of the ring. Chris is on his knees, barely able to remain vertical. CJ measures him up, runs into the ropes, bounces off and drives his knee right through Chris’ face with a second Irish Knowledge!!! Chris is out. CJ winces, holding his knee. He makes the pin while Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
Belvedere: Here are your winners…CJ O’DONNELL & CURT CANON!!!!!
Smith: Disgusting
Hood: Danger Boiz had better wake the fuck up if they want back into this Tag Title conversation
Smith: Wake up?! They never even had a chance!
Hood: That’s because they were discussing Days of our Lives or some shit. Get your minds on wrestling, BOIZ
~Satisfied with a job well done, CJ and Curt exit the ring and head up the ramp. CJ considers to show a limp~
Smith: CJ should have let Curt handle the heavy lifting. Those two knees could have worsened whatever is plaguing his knee
Hood: Nah, he's the iron man, he's fine
~Curt and CJ exit through the curtain. We see Dan slide into the ring, checking on Chris~
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I played on my own
but I survived"
Like the love that comes with life
I wore envy and I hated it
But I survived"
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry in your pillow
But I survived"
~The Danger Bois are still recovering in the ring when the scene switches to backstage. The Big Bifford and Ehud of Moab are standing near the curtain. Bifford reaches behind a file cabinet and pulls out a scythe.~
Ehud: You some sort of grim reaper?
Bifford: This is my tool for murdering Dangerous Dan.. it hasn't failed me yet.. well... actually it's failed me a dozen or more times, but tonight is the night that I actually kill Dan.
Hood: KILL HIM, BIFF!
Smith: I'd like to point out that murder isn't allowed... Bifford has already spent time in prison for murder - why does he want to go back?
Hood: He just needs HIS REVENGE!
Smith: Revenge? Bifford has beaten Dan in every single encounter they've had. And they've wrestled a lot. It has been the most one-sided feud in the history of professional wrestling.
Hood: The best revenge is living well...
Smith: I don't even know what that means.
~Gangsta's Paradise begins playing over the speakers in the arena as the Danger Bois get to their feet and begin gaining their surroundings. The Big Bifford and Ehud of Moab emerge from the back and begin making their way to the ring. While Bifford is normally the slowest wrestler to walk down the aisle, new records are being set in Ehud who is a mile behind Bifford. Bifford, seeing his greatest adversary, begins walking faster than normally toward the ring with the scythe. The Danger Bois look on in disbelief but seem to be preparing for a fight.~
Smith: Bifford, for goodness' sake put the scythe down!
Hood: SCYTHE HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL, BIFF!
~As Bifford reaches the ringside area two men emerge from the crowd, hop over the barrier, and form a human wall blocking the ring. The crowd pops when they realize it's Triple M and Silver Cyanide. Bifford shakes his head and shouts,~
Bifford: You two has-beens get to the back and let me murder some Dangerous Dan! Triple M, you've never been OCW Champion!
~The two men shake their heads at Bifford. In the foreground one can see Ehud making his way toward the ring, but he's still not even half-way.~
Bifford: If you don't move now, I'm going to have to murder you also!
~Bifford swings the scythe around a few times in a threatening way. When the two men don't move, Bifford moves forward and swings the scythe at Triple M. Triple M ducks and the scythe connects with the barrier. Bifford begins struggling to free his scythe, turning his back on the two men as he becomes obsessed with getting the scythe out.~
Hood: LOOK OUT BIFF!
~While Bifford is busy struggling with the scythe, Triple M and Silver Cyanide calmly walk up behind him, set him up, and lift him up off the ground (with a bit of a struggle), dropping him backwards with a double back suplex onto the ground. The crowd goes wild as Bifford hits the ground.~
Smith: Uh oh... but here comes Ehud!
~Ehud is still only about 3/4 of the way down to the ring, moving at a ridiculously slow pace. But the crowd begins buzzing as the 85 year old man forms his two hands into fists and begins punching at air as he approaches Silver Cyanide and Triple M, who have gotten back to their feet. Triple M grabs the scythe and pulls it out of the barricade, lifting it and bringing it down on his knee to break the wooden beam in half - much to the enjoyment of the audience, he drops it to the ground next to Bifford's carcass. The two men look at each other and then look at Ehud - the old man is still not in striking distance.~
Silver Cyanide: I'm not really into beating up old guys..
Triple M: Yeah I think we can just walk away..
Silver Cyanide: Yeah, at a reasonable pace.
~The two men turn, jumping the barricade near where the scythe was stuck, and walk calmly through the crowd, celebrating with the fans, who are going bananas. Meanwhile, Ehud finally reaches where Bifford is laying on the ground.~
Ehud: Now isn't the time for napping, Bifford...
~The old man reaches his hand toward Bifford as Bifford turns on his side. Bifford looks at the hand for a second, considering taking the help as getting up isn't easy when you weigh Bifford's weight, but then he thinks better of it and hoists himself up to his feet. Bifford looks out into the crowd to where Silver Cyanide and Triple M are still greeting fans. Then he looks down at his broken scythe, and then back to the crowd. Bifford raises his fist in anger and shakes it.~
Hood: You know they're gonna pay for breaking the scythe... that fist shake.. that means trouble.
Smith: Bifford's tag team partner took 10 minutes to get to the ring...
Hood: Yeah, we're gonna need to figure out some sort of alternate method of getting him to the ring at the Pay Per View...
Smith: I just hope he doesn't die of old age in the next three weeks...
James: “Joe! You got a second?”
~Joe, who was going to head off in another direction stops and changes direction towards James~
Joe: “Yeah? What cya need?”
~James quickly picks up a mic, pushes his step stool into position as Joe walks to him. James places his little hand on Joe’s shoulder~
James: “Joe! The people want to know! What is going on with the Craze Championship? Everyone has noticed you walking around with it all night and OGDA has not. What is going on with the belt?”
Joe: “Oh I see. Fair enough. This belt right here. Why it’s going to be defended at Throwback. OGDA will defend this belt at Throwback I can promise you that.”
James: “Joe. This is the first championship OGDA has ever won. We all saw what happened at Death March. To me, watching that video, it looks like OGDA has vacated that belt.”
Joe: “Whoah! Easy! What the OCW doesn’t need right now is more vacant title talk! OGDA didn’t not vacate the title. I’m, I’m just holding on to it for him. He took the loss at Death March rather hard, it was very personal for him. He feels like he let each and every single Rainbow Warrior down at Death March. It’s a burden he carries. He is still your OCW Craze….sorry, Your OCW Superhero Champion and at Throwback, he will defend this belt against someone. In fact! Next week at Massacre. I’m going to announce who OGDA will defend this title against.”
James: “Next week? You will announce who OGDA will defend that belt against at Throwback?”
Joe: “Correct! I have talked with our new GM Zybala and I have hand picked his next opponent. Trust me! No one, is going to be disappointed.”
James: “Can we get a hint?”
Joe: “Yeah! I can give you one hint I guess.”
James: “Really! What is it? What is this hint?”
Joe: “This, person, who will get a title opportunity at Throwback.”
James: “Yes?”
Joe: “Is currently employed by the OCW. You’re welcome!”
~Joe pats James on the back and walks away. James stands there on his step stool like WTF?~
James: “That’s not a clue!”
~We cut away~
~Mike Zybala walks towards the General Manager office, and he hears things being thrown around inside. He pauses to listen~
Voice: Really? Fuckin' really?! Only one fuckin' nomination? One?! For match of the year! And it didn't even win!
~More things can be heard being destroyed in anger~
Zybala: Oh my God...
Voice: I'm a fuckin' champion! This is bullshit!
~More things are heard crashing. Zybala has finally had enough and opens the door, charging into the office. Mack O'Connor, face flushed with anger, turns to him. The two stare at each other before Zybala looks around the room: The office is completely trashed. The desk is broken in half, chairs are in pieces, and the furniture is torn apart~
Zybala: What the hell, dude?!
Mack: Where the fuck is Welsh?! Me and him need to have a fuckin' chat!
Zybala: Welsh? Welsh doesn't work here anymore. I'm the GM now. Remember?
~Mack takes a breath and thinks. Instantaneously, his anger leaves his body and he seems completely calm~
Mack: Oh yeah... Forgot about that.
~Mack gives Zybala a nod and walks past him towards the door. Zybala turns after him~
Zybala: Dude?
~Mack looks back at him~
Mack: Congrats on the new position by the way.
~Mack leaves without another thought. Zybala looks back at the mess in the office, still in shock~
~The Bad Ass James Kelloggs exits his private dressing room and locks it. Apparently it has a lock. Making his way down the hallway is Joe Jones~
“James!” Joe calls out for his pint sized buddy. James looks at him, up at him.
“Sup bitch?”
“Hungry?”
“Fuck yeah!”
“Wanna get a bite?”
“Sure? Olive Garden again?”
“I don’t know. Kinda burnt out on Olive Garden.”
~Joe and James start to walk down the hallway~
“I was thinking 5 guys.” Joe throws out.
~James doesn’t answer right away. After a couple of steps, James looks up at Joe~
“The burger joint right?”
~Joe looks down at James~
“Yeah. Sure. Guess that could work.”
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: It appears as though Olive Garden is already losing it's luster with OCW
Hood: Well no shit. You've been there, haven't you?
Smith: One and a half times
Hood: Huh?
Smith: It took the waiter twenty minutes to bring my bread. So, I walked and felt really bad about it later
Hood: Such a rebel.
Smith: Earlier we saw Mack destroy Not-Welsh's office. Speaking of Mack...he's the Paradigm Champion
Hood: A nice Did You Know for the audience. Does he have an opponent for Throwback?
Smith: Not yet
Hood: The plot thickens.
Smith: I suppose it does. Alright fans it's time for our Main Event! The week following Death March PerZag issued an open challenge. Several wrestlers responded...he picked Brianna. These two are now set to headline the first Massacre of the New Year. Let's head down to ringside!
Main Event
A Worthy Challenge
PerZag (11-7) vs. “Adjective” Brianna Casablancas (3-1)
~And it’s that time…for the first time of 2019…Main Event time! The crowd is revived. They are ready. They know the WORTHY CHALLENGE is upon them. Belvedere, inside the ring, clears his throat to a raucous ovation via these ravenous, slightly psychotic OCW fans~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!!! This is the WORTHY CHALLENGE and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The lights on the stage burst in a tint of blue as "Adjective" Brianna Casablancas appears from behind the curtain in her ring gear and a wide smile on her face. She holds her arms out to the crowd, urging them to cheer her on. The fans roar wildly for Brianna as she skips down to the ring with a wide grin. She shakes some hands as she makes her way down to the ringside area. Instead of heading to the ring, she jumps up on the commentary desk and holds her arms out, playing to the fans. She jumps off, shakes the hand of Smith before doing handstand backwards to the ring. Brianna climbs up the steel steps before climbing into the ring. In the center of the ring, she falls into a sitting yoga pose, waiting intently for her opponent to arrive with that iconic smile on her face~
Belvedere: From London, England…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 123lbs…she is a former OCW Central Champion…she is “Adjective” Brianna Casablancas!!!
Smith: Brianna looks ready. She was an early favorite to win Death March – sadly, that night did not end the way she had hoped. However, tonight, she can get 2019 off to a great start with a win in the first Main Event of the new year
Hood: She didn’t lose much in 2014…or, well, ever, if I remember. And she still ran off! I wonder how she’s going to handle defeat for the first time in OCW?
Smith: We’re about to find out
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~The lights of the arena go out. All that is seen is a small glow of light from the entrance ramp. ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ by Survivor starts to play over the PA system. A hooded figure walks on to the entrance ramp. The lights come back on as the hooded figure stands still on the stage. The hooded figure walks down to the ring slowly. He gets into the ring and stands in the centre of it. He slowly removes the hood and the crowd gives a mixed reaction to him. 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor stops playing as PerZag walks over to a corner in the ring and crouches down near it~
Belvedere: From Benalla, Victoria, Australia, standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is PerZag!!!
~The mixed reaction turns strong as the fans are eager to see PerZag compete, once again, inside the OCW Arena. He’s ready. Brianna’s ready. Belvedere isn’t ready, so he exits. Scruff is ready and he calls for the bell! The crowd jumps to their feet, ready to go~
Smith: Two big time OCW stars about to do battle. The winner will receive a big boost moving forward
Hood: Yea PerZag chose Brianna over Noah Hanson and CJ O’Donnell. Did he choose wisely?
Smith: Any of those choices would have been wise, Hood
Hood: Did he pick the easiest one to defeat, is what I’m asking
Smith: PerZag doesn’t think like a coward
~Brianna and Zag approach one another. They circle each other. The size advantage is easy to see. Brianna feels it. She’s looking for an opening, a way to chop PerZag down, bring him to her level. PerZag, no longer a rookie, understands what she’s up to. So he dives in with his uncanny quickness and forces Brianna to lock up with him. Zag forces Brianna back into a corner. Scruff rushes in, yelling for a break. Zag obliges and takes a step back. Brianna lunges forward with what looks like the Super EGO Kick!!! Zag staggers back, avoiding that at all costs. Brianna doesn’t pull the trigger. Instead, she dives at Zag’s legs and manages to get her arms around the left one~
Smith: Smart move by Brianna. Her brain has always been her biggest asset
Hood: I can’t believe you actually talk to these women
Smith: Of course I do! They are insightful, intelligent and often times very witty
Hood: Women should all be forced to wrestle and live as mimes. Only without the creepy makeup and weird French clothing.
~Zag tries to get to the ropes to increase his leverage. Brianna manages to get his left leg off the ground. He turns around, hopping on his right foot. Brianna is standing, with his left leg in her hand. She drops him to the mat with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!!! Zag reaches for his knee, grimacing in pain. Brianna sits up, taking a quick breath~
Smith: And she’s got the former champion down!
Hood: Damnit, Zag! You’re going to make me look bad. Don’t lose to some snooty doctor from the UK!
Smith: There’s no shame in losing to Brianna. TIO lost to her several times
Hood: I refuse to acknowledge that part of history
~Brianna regains control of Zag’s left leg. Zag, on his back, had been nursing the knee. Brianna drops and elbow across the knee. Zag winces in pain and tries to roll away but Brianna has the leg in her control, refusing to let go. She returns to her feet and drops a second elbow across the leg. She returns to her feet and third time and appears ready to slap on a Figure Four~
Smith: If Brianna locks this in PerZag will be in serious trouble
Hood: Geezus, Zag…get your shit together, man!
Smith: PerZag was a rookie when Brianna was on top back in 2014. He’s learned a lot since then but it appears Brianna still has the mental edge
Hood: What the fuck has PerZag been doing during his ‘off’ time? Taking STUPID PILLS?!
~Brianna spins around, looking to lock the Figure Four in. PerZag takes his right foot and kicks Brianna in the ass with it. She stumbles forward, losing her grip. Zag rolls into the ropes and onto the apron. He struggles to his feet on the apron, keeping the weight off his left leg. Brianna turns and spots him. She charges and performs a sliding dropkick at Zag’s left leg. Zag lifts his leg up. Brianna slides out of the ring, landing on her feet at ringside. Zag throws a left mule kick, nailing Brianna in the face! Brianna stumbles back against the barricade~
Smith: Zag seems to be finding his footing, finally
Hood: So lame
~Zag tests his leg. It appears as though it’s good enough. He gets into position and leaps off the apron with a Moonsault!! Brianna’s eyes widen! She drops to her knees to get out of the way. PerZag lands stomach first across the top of the barricade!!! He falls into the crowd, holding his stomach in pain!! The crowd cheers the effort. Fans back away, giving the giant from down under some space to writhe around. Brianna returns to her feet. She leans against the apron~
Smith: PerZag took to the air and, well, missed
Hood: That knee appears to be alright
Smith: He is resilient…he’s just fortunate she didn’t lock in that Figure Four
Hood: ENOUGH ABOUT THE DAMN FIGURE FOUR
~PerZag begins to recover. Brianna heads back to the barricade and looks over. She sees Zag on one knee. She hops atop the barricade. Zag gets to his feet and turns around. Brianna wraps her legs around Zag and delivers a Hurricanrana that sends Zag tumbling over the barricade, back into ringside!! Brianna’s body flies into a group of fans who do their best to keep their hands visible. She safely returns to her feet and hops back atop the barricade~
Smith: Brianna is looking great!
Hood: Damnit I was hoping she’d be all dejected after her loss
Smith: That does not appear to be the case! Brianna for 2019!!
~PerZag reaches for the steps and uses them as leverage. He gets to his feet and stumbles around. Brianna leaps off looking for a second Hurricanrana…Zag, though, holds on!! His size and weight advantage enable him, despite his unstable base, to hold off Brianna’s momentum. He lifts her up and slams her across the edge of the apron!!! Brianna’s back hits HARD!! The fans at ringside grimace…a few hide their eyes. PerZag drops to one knee. Scruff slides out of the ring to check on Brianna~
Smith: Oh no!! Brianna’s back!
Hood: Looks like she might be the one using that couch in her office
Smith: The edge of the apron is the hardest part…
Hood: Oh shut the fuck up
~Zag returns to his feet. He shoves Scruff out of the way in order to get to Brianna. Brianna’s head is covered by the apron sheet. Her hand is reaching for her back. Zag grabs her by the hair and hoists her up, over his shoulder. He tosses her up and she comes down with Snake Eyes across the apron!!! Her body tries to fall backward but Zag catches her and tosses her into the ring. Zag slides in behind her and goes for a quick pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Some fight still exists in Brianna’s body!
Hood: I think that was an involuntary spasm. She’s probably really hating her body right now, rejecting that quitter attitude
Smith: Stop it
~Zag remains focused. He can sense that the end is near. He deadlifts Brianna off the mat and places her atop the nearest corner. Brianna leans forward, reaching for her back. PerZag climbs up and hooks Brianna. He’s standing on the top rope, showing great balance. He lifts Brianna up and tosses her over as both come crashing down onto the mat with Superplex!!! The ring shakes from impact!!! Brianna arches her back in pain, writhing around. Zag reaches over and slaps at his left knee, showing that it’s still bothering him, slightly. He returns to his feet~
Smith: Poor Brianna…I just don’t think she can come back from this
Hood: C’mon, Zag!! End it!
Smith: I think you may be about to get your wish
Hood: This is revenge for all this Alice Knight bullshit! Alice Knight, in many ways, broke PerZag in 2017. Brianna, as we all know, was a huge inspiration to Alice.
~Zag pulls Brianna to her feet. He knees her in the gut and positions her head between his legs. He hoists her up for a powerbomb! He brings her down but, instead of her back hitting the mat, they come down on both his knees!!! Her back slams into the knees and she yells out in pain!!! PerZag rolls her on her back and hooks both legs, ensuring a pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…PERZAG!!!!!
Smith: Devastating win by PerZag. Brianna’s back…I think I heard it crack on that final move which PerZag calls The Worthiest Move of Them All
Hood: Yes! Yes! 2019 is the new 2015! All hail PerZag!
Smith: I wouldn’t go that far
~Zag looks down at Brianna who is holding her back with one hand, covering her face with the other. He scoffs and exits the ring~
Smith: No compassion from OCW’s greatest Australian wrestler
Hood: Why should there be any compassion? He offered the challenge, she accepted and he kicked her ass. That’s how this this goes
Smith: I just hope Brianna’s back is okay. This entire comeback has been so much fun. If an injury were to derail it the first show of 2019 well, that’d be downright tragic
Hood: Blah blah blabbity blah
Smith: Great win for PerZag to kick off the new year! Now, let's head to a promo for Throwback before we close out tonight's tremendous show!
~Adding to what has already been a raucous Massacre, the Black Eyed Peas’ “Where Is the Love” fires off, prompting this crowd into groans and boos of agitation~
Smith: Oh God, not this guy again.
Hood: Jeff Jones has certainly been busy tonight.
~As Hood alluded to, Jeff steps onto the stage, his suit never crisper and the OCW Tag Team Championships never shinier. The people never ruder...and as we assume, his wit never sharper. Jeff of course was armed with a microphone as he proudly marched down to the ring where he would address what was the elephant in the room for everyone that was watching since the holiday break~
Jeff Jones: Ladies, and gentlemen, may I have your attention please…?
~You could almost hear the collective eye roll among the Key West natives~
Jeff Jones: Following the events of the Death March, I received some sad news. Sad for me, sad for you, and sad for our management team in the office. But fear not, for as difficult as the grieving process will be, I will be here with you along every step of the way.
Hood: What an empathetic guy.
Jeff Jones: You see, the top draw of OCW, the one known only as Hollywood Jesus, my first client Jacob Hotstuff, had received an opportunity of a lifetime. He was offered the chance to work for a number of motion pictures for the sum of eight figures, each. Of course, that meant Jacob would have to take a leave of absence from OCW, and, I know that makes you all as sad as it makes me. So, if you will please lower your heads in prayer, and join me in a moment of silence as we mourn together, and overcome our grief of Jacob’s departure…
~Jeff looks down, his eyes closed and I think even a tear streamed down his cheek. These people, however…~
“NA NA NA NA.
Hood: What a show of disrespect!
Smith: What? You’re joking right, Jacob never showed an ounce of care towards anyone during his time with us. Of course these people are happy that they don’t have to see him…
Hood: WEAK ASS FANS!
~Jeff looked up, a scowl of of anguish plastered across his face. Not at the fans, but at the idea that this crowd couldn’t even for a moment share in the grief he was overcome with on a seemingly daily basis. Quickly, he wiped the scowl away and continued.~
Jeff Jones: I’m disappointed in each and every one of you and your inability to process sympathy for another human being...but alas, that is for another place and another time as tonight...I’m here on alternative business.
“BOOOOOOO!”
Jeff Jones: While I do wish Jacob Hotstuff only the best on this new adventure he’s starting, that nevertheless created an opportunity. Jacob’s contract, while ironclad, is also the most lucrative contract in OCW history. We couldn’t just terminate it early or breach it. This contract is one of the last remaining relics of general manager Marcus Welsh and the brilliance he brought to this company, and that is a spirit that must live on forever.
Smith: Yeah, that’s how you endear yourself to the crowd. Talk about the biased GM that absolutely nobody misses…
Jeff Jones: Additionally, if we let that contract run out, there’s no way that new poser of a GM would offer near the deal that we received from Welsh because, let’s face it, Zybala isn’t all that bright.
Hood: Finally, someone brave enough to say what we’re all thinking!
Smith: We? You got a mouse in your pocket?
Jeff Jones: As I was saying before your lack of manners got me off topic...tonight is a historic night. Because tonight, while the majority of you thought The Republic for a better OCW would die without Jacob Hotstuff, I’m here to say The Republic never dies. In business, when one entity leaves the board, another suitor is chosen to take over and continue the operations. That’s what I’ve done. While we won’t allow Jacob’s lucrative contract to go to waste, he and I got together and transferred ownership of said contract over to me. No breach, no reduction in pay, no loss in status with the company…
Smith: Wait, no loss in status?! What does that mean…
~Jeff straightens the OCW Tag Team Championships on his shoulders~
Jeff Jones: It means that these titles I proudly carry do not strictly belong to Jacob Hotstuff and his stunt double, Adrian Turner. No, they belong collectively, to The Republic. And no amount of internet message board whining, or self-entitled blog posting, is going to change that fact.
Hood: I know exactly who he’s talking about!
Smith: Well he wasn’t exactly being subtle about it…
Jeff Jones: And that’s why, to that end, I ama announcing the official Republic Talent Search. Over the next few weeks I will be scouting whom I believe will be worthy enough to carry the mantle of The Republic’s mantra - and with it, the OCW Tag Team Championships!
Smith: He’s just going to hand the titles away?! Does he have no care, or respect to their meaning?! Of course not, Jeff Jones only cares about money….
Hood: I don’t really think that’s accurate. In fact, I think Jeff Jones cares so much, he’s gone through every meticulous legal detail to ensure what he is doing is one-hundred percent by the rules.
Smith: Yeah, because you’re such a rules stalwart yourself…
Jeff Jones: And, once candidates are selected, that will - technically speaking - make The Republic two time, two time, tag team champions of the world...further proving my methods as the surefire ticket to success. Who wants to be a success story? Who wants to be the man, or woman, whom I lead to the top? Who knows, you could even be the one to dethrone Matt Meyhu, if you follow my guidance…
~Interrupting Jeff Jones was none other than GM Zybala, opting to stand on the stage to cast a judgmental glare down on Jeff Jones and his efforts. He was also armed with a microphone~
Zybala: What do you think you’re doing?! I call the shots around here, and we will not be running things like Marcus Welsh ran things! So here’s what we’re gonna do. Everybody here paid for an action packed event, not to see some old man talk! I see you’ve even got official OCW property on your person, so let me just bring this team out here and --
Jeff Jones: You know, I’m happy for you GM Zybala, and I’ll let you finish...but I just need to inform you that you can’t force me to compete right now. I’m a contracted, no-contact performer. You can’t touch me, and now these championships are wrapped up in MY dealings until such time as I have found a suitable performer to carry these on in the name of The Re --
Zybala: No, you listen here! I’ve got mountains of teams back there whom are chomping at the bit to get a shot at our property that you’re holding hostage. The people deserve to see those titles defended since they were never defended at Death March! Do you know how long it’s been? Technically, I could strip you right now for failing to comply with regularly scheduled defenses…
Jeff Jones: With all due respect, don’t threaten me with legalese, you don’t know what tree you’re barking up, ‘boss’. I’m perfectly aware of the time frame I have to secure a title defense. Unfortunately for you, Jacob and Adrian did defend them prior to Death March, and the time the company was on holiday break was a cease of operations - so that time cannot count towards the timer. It’s unrealistic to expect my clients to defend their championships when the company is not operating, after all…
~Zybala stood with the most icy glare directed right down to Jeff. He was mad, that much was obvious!~
Jeff Jones: Get mad all you want...but my calculations never lie. And according to my calculations, I have until the January twenty-ninth - the day following Throwback - to have my competitors named to continue on as the neo Republic.
Hood: Look at Zybala! I’ve never seen that idiot speechless ever!
Smith: This...this is such a mess.
Zybala: Well, I can still make you defend them right now...remember, ‘card subject to change’? So that’s why, I’m bringing the Danger Bois out here, and --
Jeff Jones: Veto! There’s a word you’re incredibly familiar with, right? According to paragraph three, subsection J of my contract, the Jacob clause, herein now referred to as the Jones code, you can’t make me, or my client(s), perform on a spur of the moment basis. We must be informed a minimum of two weeks in advance, of a potential television performance date. Now, you wouldn’t want to find the company in a breach of contract lawsuit on your watch, would you? That certainly wouldn’t look good on your portfolio this soon into your run…
Zybala: Jeff...just get out of my ring!
Jeff Jones: With pleasure, Mister Zybala...I would like to wish you all the best, of course. ‘Boss’...
~As directed by the boss, Jeff Jones leaves the ring with the OCW Tag Team Championships, opting for a pair of event security officials to escort him through the crowd, flanking him on either side, while Zybala stews on the stage~
Smith: Jeff Jones has those titles held hostage!
Hood: Hey, you can't blame the man for exercising his rights! He's probably saving us from a team of JAM G and Guy Cashe winning the fucking things
Smith: Can we just get rid of this Jones guy, seriously? OCW is about competition! We've got so many teams vying for those belts which, at the moment, sound pretty much unattainable
Hood: He's going to name successors, just give it time. It will happen
Smith: I LOATHE this scenario. Ugh...well folks I have no idea what's going to become of these tag titles. It's one big, freakin mess. However, it does sound as though we'll get an answer at Throwback, hopefully. But as for tonight we're pretty much out of time
Hood: Man this was a packed show!
Smith: Indeed it was! We saw debuts! We saw returns! Feuds were heated up! If tonight was any indication then I fully expect 2019 to be a tremendous year! Anyway, that's it for tonight everyone! For Hood, I'm Smith signing off...have a great week, everyone!
~We fade to black~
NA NA NA NA.
HEY HEY HEY.
GOOD BYE!”