OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, June 25th 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~The screen is dark. Maybe a little too dark? We stare into its darkness and perhaps get an insight into our very soul. We wonder – why is life so bleak? Why am I so dark on the inside? Is it that time I ran over that cat? Or the night my friends and I blew up ant beds with firecrackers? We sigh. An existential crisis is in full bloom. This is the last thing we need on a Monday, am I right? But, regardless, here we are. We continue staring into the blackness…we notice the reflection of our hair and realize we forgot to get it cut. Damnit, we walked around work all day with this stupid ass hair style…and the new girl started today, she’s super cute. We are idiots, we determine. But then…something catches are eye. It seeks to change EVERYTHING. We reach out and grab it. A circular red button at the top begs for a little bit of thumb pressure. We apply. CLICK. The blackness lightens. Light has entered into our life. We suddenly have meaning once again for we have – turned the TV ON!! The Massacre logo flashes across the screen…it’s time for some Monday night wrestling – OCW style. We cut to a jam packed OCW arena full of screaming, tanned, possibly drunk OCW fans. They are holding signs, beer cups, and babies. We cut to Smith and Hood, the announce team~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host, Smith and alongside me as always is Hood
Hood: Back again…feels like I’m bolted to this damn seat.
Smith: If it weren’t for the occasional field trip to Louisiana and Nebraska I’d start to wonder that myself. Very much like the Man in Black from Westworld
Hood: QUIET…I haven’t seen the finale yet
Smith: My bad, Hood!
Hood: Damn straight your bad…but, anyway, continue with whatever hype job you were laying down on the viewers
Smith: We’ve got a great show for everybody tonight…I’d say the march toward Lost at Sea is officially ON! Tonight we’ll see two newcomers battle it out – rumor has it the loser will have their contract terminated.
Hood: Can they both lose?
Smith: Stop. Our second match of the evening is an epic tag team encounter
Hood: What’s with all the stupid ass tag team matches? Since when did OCW become tag team central?
Smith: The byproduct of a change in philosophy. Tonight we will see the #1 Contender for the OCW Title team up with the returning Roach to take on a very angry Lukas Emery and his tag team partner, OCW Craze Champion, Ed Houston
Hood: Okay, fine, that tag match sounds…acceptable
Smith: Glad you are okay with that lineup. And, in our main event…we have former OCW Champion and current Hall of Famer, Bob Grenier taking on one of the most impressive newcomers to enter OCW in quite some time – Melinda Rhodes
Hood: In the main event already? Woman’s got some talent
Smith: Extremely talented…if she can pull this one out it will propel her into the upper echelon of the OCW roster. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a career rise so quickly
Hood: Silver Cyanide is about the only one that comes to mind
Smith: It should be a great main event…I can’t wait to see what happens…so let’s not waste any more time…let’s get started!
~“Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers blares across the arena. The crowd has a mixed reaction to the familiar music as Mack O’Connor limps out to the stage, walking with a cane in one hand. He is wearing a pair of nice blue jeans with an opened black peacoat over a black t-shirt~
Hood: A mixed reaction here to the Hall of Famer. A bit of a change.
Smith: The crowd usually loves Mack. But last week he assaulted Amelia, one of their darlings.
Hood: I don’t hear you complaining.
Smith: And you won’t.
~Mack makes his way down to the ring, carefully climbing up to the mat and stepping through the ropes. He leans on the cane, reaching into his coat and pulling out a flask. He casually looks around the arena, reading the crowd as he takes a large sip of the flask’s contents. He puts the flask away and calls for a microphone. Mike Michaels, the ringside microphone guy, tosses in a cordless mic. Mack gives a nod to Mike. Mike Michaels nods back, turning on Mack’s mic.~
Mack: I gotta say… It’s good to be back in this ring!
~The crowd gives him a cheap pop for that. He lets a smirk creep from his mouth~
Mack: But you know what… That’s a lie. I’m sick to my stomach standing in this fuckin’ ring right now.
~The crowd turns and begins booing. Mack lets out a smile~
Mack: What the fuck happened to this place while I’ve been gone? Did I lose my fuckin’ mind? Did Vargas knock the sense out of me? Is this real life? You know shit is bad when the only thing that makes sense is that there’s two fuckin’ rabbits on the roster… Excuse me, I’m mistaken. One of those rabbits has been terminated… So there’s only one rabbit on the roster. One rabbit on the roster… Still seems more normal than the shit going on around here.
~Mack takes a moment to take another swig from his flask as the crowd mumbles to themselves~
Mack: Where should I even begin? Ed Houston. Ed Houston wins the next best thing to an OCW Participation Trophy, and you’d swear it’s just like he lost his virginity at the ripe old age of 25. “This is only the beginning!” Where else do you expect to go from there, space man? Gonna rocket your way to the OCW Title? Give me a fuckin’ break. You beat Josie Barnes of all people. Josie Barnes! The woman who rattles on about how hard she’s worked to get where she is… And where is she? She’s still at the bottom where she belongs. Every real chance at glory she ends up blowing…
~Mack laughs to himself for a moment. A few random fans in the audience offer him boos. It makes him chuckle harder~
Mack: Look at this run! First Mr. Tartare carries her to her first victory… Then she beats a bunny. A fuckin’ bunny. She goes on to threaten and harass a kid who simply wants to be a super hero. What a courageous warrior you are, Josie. And oh… Ed Houston beat you. Congratulations. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are.
~Mack looks out at the crowd, using his cane to point at them~
Mack: And you… You all just eat this bullshit up.
~The crowd responds with a volley of loud boos. Mack continues laughing~
Mack: And then there’s the OCW Title situation… Surprise surprise, Meyhu beats Tartare once again.
~Sarcasm drips from Mack’s mouth like molasses~
Mack: Who saw THAT coming?! Who would have thought that Meyhu would beat the INCREDIBLE One?!?!
~Mack laughs~
Mack: Give me a fuckin break… No one wanted to see that last year, and no one wants to see that now. Tartare lost his edge ever since he went straight, and Meyhu has the personality of wet cardboard and cabbage. Tartare is fresh off ANOTHER loss to Meyhu, and he thinks he’s entitled to an immediate rematch? You already got your rematch, champ. And you fucked it up. Last time I saw you Tartare, your bitch wife had to throw in the towel to stop me from beating you to death. Which is probably a good thing… I didn’t want to go back to jail for murdering a man.
~The crowd lets out more boos. Mack responds by taking out his flask, raising it in a toast to the crowd, then taking another swig. He leans on his cane~
Mack: And Matt Meyhu… You think people were shocked by your win? Surprised? Only people surprised were all these marks in the crowd. The rest of us knew you had Tartare’s number… You beat him once, you’d beat him again. You seem to be the only fighter here that was surprised by his own victory. So surprised, in fact, that you had to come out and sing your own praises. Everyone who matters knows you only got the match because you’ve spread your cheeks from turnbuckle to turnbuckle to provide a place for Welsh to shove his three inch dick.
~The crowd doesn’t really know how to respond~
Mack: Don’t forget, Meyhu… Yeah, you beat me last year. But if you took your head out of your ass for a second you’ll remember that you were assisted in your win. Do the math. You didn’t deserve the title shot. Then again, you’re the only title holder who knows what Welsh’s ass tastes like.
~A few audience members laugh. The rest are still not sure how to respond~
Mack: Now Bradley Carrington is back in the picture… I don’t even need to say anything about that useless piece of shit. The Aptitude’s baggage, as he’s called in the locker room. Good luck to you, pal.
~Mack takes another sip from his flask~
Mack: Then we come back around to the man of the hour… Oh Shit! Lukas Emery! Man of the hour! The “Oh Shit” Contract holder! And who deserves a title shot more than him!
~Mack laugh again~
Mack: Fuck all that… Be honest with yourself, Lukas… Do you really think you deserve anything here, you limey fuck? Do you even remember who you beat to get that contract? Let’s list them off, shall we… Ed Houston, the current holder of the most overrated wrestler in OCW. Then there’s your beloved Josie Barnes… And you know what? I take it back… SHE is the most overrated wrestler in OCW. She beat up a fuckin’ kid for Christ’s sake… Anyway, you also defeated Nara Toshiro. And I have to say, the fact that I have recollection of this individual should tell that story itself… And the only person of significance in that match was PerZag. And again, be honest with yourself, you know he wasn’t at his best. So all in all, you waltzed your way into the Oh Shit Contract. Congratulations. And now you think you can suddenly step in out of nowhere and cash in on the OCW Title?
~Mack shakes his head with a smile~
Mack: The entitlement of some people… And you wanted to cash it in when Meyhu was at his weakest? Well, fuck me… Not only are you entitled, but you’re a coward. Didn’t even have the balls to try cashing it in when Meyhu was at 100 percent. Not only that, I saw you took to the good ol’ Twitter about how angry you are that I punked your kid sister. “He will pay.” Fuckin ay… So when you attempt to attack a man at his weakest and fail, what? You’re just a guy trying to cash in a contract? But when I do it… When I do it and SUCCEED, I’m the bad guy? So not only are you entitled… Not only are you a coward… You’re also a hypocrite.
~Mack smiles, leaning on his cane~
Mack: And the fans cheer you the more for it. They cheered as you tried to attack Meyhu in a cowardly fashion. They cheer as Zybala tries using every trick in the book to get you a shot at a title you simply don’t deserve. They cheer at your bitch sister who needs to be coddled after getting knocked out. They cheer for your bitch girlfriend for beating up a kid. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
~The crowd erupts into boos once again~
Mack: I once loved having you people cheer for me. I drank it in like whiskey. And look at you now! Cheering for a bunch of half wits!
~More boos~
Mack: Cheering for a bunch of pansies. Lukas, I knocked your sister on her ass… If someone did that to my blood, I’d be on their ass. I’d be looking for them. You? You tell the internet “He will pay.” You and your clan all run to the internet to console each other. It’s fuckin’ pathetic, my friend. The whole lot of you are pathetic. You, your bitch girlfriend, your bitch sister, HER bitch girlfriend… All pathetic. I could probably make scraps of all four of you by myself. In fact, I'd almost want to propose that I do just that, if only--
~Mack pauses as he hears the crowd start to react to something. He turns toward their reaction. GM Marcus Welsh has emerged from backstage, walking down the ramp towards the ring~
Mack: What the fuck do you want?!
~Welsh steps into the ring, looking Mack in the eye with a smile~
Welsh: Mack, so nice of you to drop by…again. I see you’re your usual cheery self this evening. Life has obviously been treating you so well lately.
~Mack tries to respond. Welsh holds his hand up. Mack’s mic is suddenly cut off. Welsh continues~
Welsh: There’s a saying, Mack. Everybody is a critic. I’m sure you’ve heard it…we probably all have. It can be interpreted a variety of ways. The way I like to interpret it is a way of mocking those who do nothing critiquing the hard work of others. Is OCW perfect? No. It never has been. You ask any fan walking down the street which year was OCW’s best and you’d get a multitude of answers. Heck, I know this one guy who swears 2015 was OCW’s best year in existence.
~Some people in the crowd cheer the highly underrated, undervalued year of 2015~
Welsh: But, to each his own. The point I’m trying to make is it’s easy to sit back and judge a finished product. It’s easy for a cantankerous, crippled, drunk man with the best years of his life nestled forever in the rear view mirror to watch competitors in their prime doing what he used to be good at and nitpick the holes in their game.
~The crowd begins to slowly turn on Welsh for picking on Mack – a man they have enjoyed watching wrestle, for better or worse, over the past several years~
Welsh: But you’re a man of action, right? You realize the hypocrisy in sitting at home, condemning the product on TV. You mentioned running to the internet and expressing your grievances as an act with which you find loathsome. I certainly can’t argue that. There’s nothing worse than an internet hero. So, what do you do? You come out here and address your issues – in public. Good for you, Mack. But…I’m not stupid, nor are these fans. You’re a cripple, Mack. You’re an old man with a cane. You're safe. It’s like punching a kid with glasses. Nobody is going to do it. So, you’re safe. You’re able to come out here and talk all this shit without facing any repercussions. Really, who is going to come down here and beat up a crippled with a cane? The answer, Mack, is nobody.
~He's cut off when "Bartholomew" by The Silent Comedy blares across the arena. Both Welsh and Mack look at the stage, and the crowd cheers as Lukas Emery walks out with a microphone in his hand. He raises the microphone to his mouth as the crowd quiets down~
Lukas: Are the two of you fucking finished? Mack, you want to wonder why I haven't been "out for blood" so to speak for what you did to Amelia? You want to wonder why I chose to spend time with her and Josie instead of coming after you? It's because I knew...I KNEW if I came across your worthless ass, I'd do something incredibly heinous. You see, I DID want to come after you last Monday. I wanted to make you experience unimaginable amounts of pain. I wanted to break every bone in your hands, so you couldn't even hold that little cane of your's. Then I was going to take said cane and beat you over the bloody head with it!
~It's obvious that Lukas is getting fired up, as he starts to pace back and forth on stage as he continues. Mack lets out a hungry smile, while Welsh simply looks annoyed~
Lukas: You talk all this shite about what I did at the Greatest Show on Earth, as if it were some heinous injustice. When in all reality, it was the nature of the contract. Now, you want to come down here and run down the OCW roster, run down Josie, run down everything that you think is "pathetic"? Pal, you're the only pathetic thing around here you bloody wanker.
~The crowd cheers. Mack's grin disappears as he looks pissed~
Lukas: I'lll just get to the point as to why I'm out here. Our next supercard is coming up at the end of next month, and I want a match. I haven't gone after Mack yet because, unlike what he did to Amelia, I want him to know WELL in advance what's coming for him. You can stand out here and talk all the trash you want, Mack. You put your hands on my little sister? Yeah, I said you'll pay...and you will. When I rip your legs off and shove them up your ass at Lost at Sea. The match I want is against YOU.
~The crowd erupts with cheers.~
Lukas: Don't worry Welsh, I'm not messing with your golden bitchboy Meyhu. Sooner or later I WILL come after the OCW Championship, but for now, I have a beating to dish out. So what do you say, Mack? Think you can get your crippled ass ready for a beating in a month? You want to paint me out to be this evil person...well let me show you just how bloody evil I can be.
~Mack nods, impressed with the confidence of Emery. Welsh forces a smile, clearly wishing he could be somewhere else~
Welsh: Well this is all very charming. But it seems like I can give you both what you want... Mack, you want to prove that you can still fight in this ring? You want to show these people you can still go toe to toe with the best? You want to prove you can turn this place around?
~Mack nods eagerly as the crowd begins to get a bit rowdy in anticipation. Welsh turns to Lukas on the stage~
Welsh: Lukas, you want a piece of Mack? You want to prove to the world that you have what it takes to compete for the OCW Title?
~Lukas calmly smiles, giving Welsh a nod~
Welsh: You both get it your way. Mack O'Connor vs. Lukas Emery at Lost at Sea on July 30th!
~The crowd erupts in cheers. Both Lukas and Mack look content with the decision. "Bartholomew" by The Silent Comedy blares again as Lukas returns to the backstage area. Welsh and Mack also return to the backstage area soon after~
Smith: What an announcement!! Lost at Sea just is shaping up to be one of the biggest events in history?
Hood: So...is the Paradigm Title on the line?
Smith: That's an excellent question, Hood. I don't think Welsh is recognizing it...but with Zybala calling shots, it could very well come into play.
Hood: Fucking Zybala
Smith: Haha...indeed! Well it's just about time to get things started in ring...but first let's take a look to some footage featuring two competitors who are teaming up later this evening
~The scene opens to Miami-Dade County jail. It’s loud. Yelling. Screaming. CO’s chit chatting, gossiping about this and that. A guy screaming ‘FUCK YOU NIGGA!’ as he’s led to processing in handcuffs. Clearly this gentleman has had a few too many road sodas this evening.~
Smith: If I ever got arrested would you bail me out?
Hood: Are you kidding?
Smith: Well…
Hood: FUCK NO I wouldn’t bail you out!
~As we get the full tour of the county lockup, we see that black people clearly outnumber the white folks by 95%. With that being said, the cameras turn to one of the 6’x9’ holding cells. We see a small concrete bench. ROACH sits on one side, CHAD VARGAS sits on the other. Roach ripped his t-shirt, he’s missing a shoe, and his face is missing his signature face paint. There’s only specs in a few places where the face paint was. Vargas doesn’t look much better off. His suit jacket is gone, he’s sitting there topless, only a bow-tie around his neck. His suit pants are beat up. Still rockin’ them fucking Oakleys though.~
Smith: Serves them right!
Hood: Do you realize how fucking cool those guys are?
~We hear a familiar voice off camera. After a few seconds TREAT CASSIDY walks into the frame, talking to a CO. We assume Cassidy is being his normal kiss-assy self, probably turned up to 11 this particular night. Treat flaunts a big ass fake ass cheesy smile as he shakes hands with the SGT. He walks up to the jail cell and leans against the bars.~
Cassidy: You idiots really screwed up this time!
Roach: Who are you calling an idiot? DILDO!
~Cassidy shakes his head at the insult, focusing on Vargas. Vargas motions to Roach as if to say ‘He’s cool.’ Roach nods, still not thinking he’s very cool regardless of Vargas’ opinion. Cassidy turns his attention back to Roach.~
Cassidy: Ahem – this ahem… “dildo” is bailing your psycho butt out of the crow bar hotel so ease up on the sex toy slurs!
Vargas: He was only kidding, lighten the fuck up! Wasn’t ya Roach ole boy?
~Vargas says with a nudge of his elbow. Roach flashes a shit eating grin, lying through his teeth most likely.~
Roach: Yep. You got it my friend…
~Cassidy nods, not quite believing him, but he’ll take the attempt at apologizing.~
Cassidy: Anyway. Your bail is pretty steep. 5K a piece. Not necessarily chump change, so I don’t even want to begin to imagine what ya’ll did. Not to mention the restitution fines to Dollie’s. I don’t even want to look at that check. If you guys didn’t have a match in 12 hours I would leave you both in here to think about what you did!
~Roach and Vargas look at one another and roll their eyes in unison.~
Cassidy: Yep! A big joke, huh!?! Roach, I’ll have you know that if you wasn’t booked in a match WITH my client here, I would probably leave you in here! But if you guys don’t make the booking, then it’s MY BUTT!
Roach: You wouldn’t leave me in here!
Cassidy: Oh? Why’s that then Roa---
Roach: Cause I’d kick your teeth down your throat!
~Vargas laughs. Cassidy sniffles, clearing his throat. He scratches his forehead as his eyes dart back and forth between the two mad men.~
Cassidy: I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that! You both need to harness that anger for the match. Ed Houston and Lukas Emery are no pushovers. They are gre---
Vargas and Roach (In unison): FAGS!
~Cassidy shakes his head. For a guy that does virtually everything for his clients, he certainly takes a lot of shit from them.~
Cassidy: I’m glad you two got to know each other. Destroying a strip club, assaulting security guards, AND police. I don’t know WHAT you did to that green haired youngster, but his mother has already threatened a civil suit. Perhaps it’s because her son is IN THE HOSPITAL?!
~Roach looks away at the excitement in booking, Vargas shrugs.~
Cassidy: Sure. We will just add it to the list. WHY NOT?
~Before Cassidy can continue his onslaught of lecturing, jingling keys is heard coming toward them as a CO approaches the door. He slides the biggest key into the lock and pops the door open. Roach and Vargas hop to their feet. Cassidy looks them both in their eyes as they walk by him, shaking his head.~
Vargas: …Thanks Treat!
Roach: Yeah, Treat. Much appreciated!
~Cassidy nods. Such a half assed show of appreciation. But he’ll take it. Cassidy leads the way down the hall to the exit.~
Cassidy: Car is waiting for us out front. We need to get to Key West on the double!
Roach: I’m driving!
Vargas: In that case, we’ll hit up a 7-11 on the way out!? 12’er for the ride.
Roach: BOOZE CRUISE!
Cassidy: You morons are not drinking on the ride to the arena. Absolutely no---
Vargas: You’ll see!
~The scene fades.~
Smith: SUCH INGRATES!
Hood: I need to hook up with those motherfuckers after the show! They need a wingman, I need to get drunk!
Smith: Why can't we have a NORMAL roster...I mean I graduated with a Journalism degree from SYRACUSE...and I'm calling stuff like this...seated next to you.
Hood: Yea and I didn't even go to college
Smith: AH!!! *ahem* Sorry for that folks...momentary lapse in sanity. Anyway, I guess we should head down to the ring for our opening match of the evening as Harold Jones and Andrew Healy fight to avoid immediate termination
Hood: Let's do this!
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Opening Match
Harold ‘The Headliner’ Jones (1 pt) vs. “The Gatekeeper” Andrew Healy (0 pts)
~We cut to the ring. Healy is already between the ropes looking somewhat fresh and mildly entertaining. He looks out to the crowd. They have no reaction~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is time for our opening match of the evening! Introducing first, already in the ring….andrewhealy.
~We hear one fan yell out “I NEED A COKE OVER HERE”~
Belvedere: And his opponent…
~“Who’s Laughing Now” by Millencolin begins to play. The fans stand and watch, curiously, as Harold Jones emerges from behind the curtain. He seems far more energetic this week. He hustles down the ramp and slides into the ring. He finds the nearest corner and cracks a nerdy smile to the fans. A few of them find it endearing~
Belvedere: From The Nearest Comedy Club…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 175lbs…Harold ‘The Headliner’ Jones!!!
~Harold hops off the buckle and stands in his corner. He notices Healy across the ring. Healy’s got his SPOOOOOKY face paint on. The bell sounds. Belvedere exits the ring~
Smith: Interesting match…almost an OCW elimination match, if you will. The loser will most likely be banished from the company.
Hood: Based on what we’ve seen so far – I’m pulling for Harold
Smith: He does have far more personality than Andrew Healy
Hood: Yea it takes more than carnival face paint to protrude ‘persona’
~Healy approaches Jones. He wants to have a conversation with him. Jones stands back, curious. Jones isn’t a dick, after all. Healy brings up POLITICS. Jones frowns and says “Dude, we probably shouldn’t be discussing this.” Healy backs off and then brings up SAME SEX MARRIAGE…again, Harold is like “Can we just wrestle?” So Healy says “Okay, okay, my bad…tell me…what do you think about God?” The crowd starts to boooo~
Smith: Somebody never taught Andrew Healy proper public etiquette
Hood: Yea man what a dumbass
Smith: He’s lucky Harold is good natured.
Hood: Yea…I’m a little surprised. After the ass kicking Melinda gave him last week you’d think he might have developed a bit of an edge out of pure necessity
~Jones continues to try to get Healy to chill out. Healy mentions something about the holocaust being fictional which pushes Harold over the edge. He tosses Healy into his corner and unloads on Healy with a mishmash of lefts, rights, kicks, chops…you name it he delivers it! He’s like an angry bat attempting to bust open a piñata…or a virgin on prom night putting his hands on a woman for the first time. He’s all over the place!~
Smith: Wow! I believe Harold has a name for this
Hood: How could he possibly have a name for this?
Smith: He does…it’s called The Improv!
Hood: Ugh…yea, I guess that fits
~Harold finally relents…he backs away. Healy falls face first onto the mat. The crowd laughs…Harold looks around, feeling proud. He drags Healy into the center of the ring and flips him onto his back. He rushes for the corner and hops onto the top buckle…he turns his back to Healy, leaps off and connects with a moonsault!! The crowd pops~
Smith: Has Harold found his groove?
Hood: Probably…figures the COMEDIAN would find his footing around here
Smith: I find him to be entertaining
Hood: It’d be one thing if he were a good comedian…or hell, an average comedian. But, nope, we’ve got to have ourselves a BAD comedian.
~Harold smiles, enjoying the (In all likelihood) loudest ovation of his life! Well, aside from that time when a giant tomato nearly knocked him out on stage in Vermont. He backs up against a corner…Healy begins to stir. He starts to slur his words. “And about that bastard Abraham Lincoln…” Harold lunges forward with a SUPERKICK!!! Healy goes limp, flat on his back. Harold rushes for the nearest buckle~
Smith: He calls that the Rim shot!
Hood: The WHAT Job?
Smith: Rim SHOT
Hood: Oh, okay, whew
~Harold reaches the top buckle once more. He looks down and leaps off…HIGH into the air…he comes crashing down with both feet into the chest and gut of Healy with a Double Foot Stomp!! The crowd reacts with a pop! The ring shakes. Harold goes for the pin…Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….HAROLD ‘THE HEADLINER’ JONES!!!!!
Smith: And he calls that The Last Laugh which Harold most definitely received tonight
Hood: Fucking guy lives to fight another day
Smith: Indeed he does and, well, I’m happy for him…look at him in there, enjoying the fans appreciation
Hood: He needs to calm the fuck down. They aren’t cheering his ‘talent’. They’re just happy we had a match that wasn’t thrown out
Smith: Rude
~Harold takes a bow for the fans. He exits the ring and heads up the ramp with the glow of a winner~
Smith: Good for him…can’t wait to see where he goes from here
Hood: If we’re lucky…BACK TO THE NEAREST COMEDY CLUB
Smith: Stop…and well, that leaves Healy who…who is still in the ring for some odd reason
Hood: No, Healy, we do not want any of your weird ass pamphlets
~Healy stands up, covered in sweat for some reason…despite only being in the ring for a few minutes. He’s holding his stomach and wincing in pain. The crowd is still cheering Harold, who has finally reached the top of the ramp. Healy, though, thinks they are cheering him. Harold exits through the ropes. The fans turn and look at the ring…Healy raises his arm and thanks them for their ‘appreciation’. They start to boo loudly~
Smith: What is wrong with this man? He thinks they are cheering THAT performance?
Hood: He’s clearly delusional, Smith
~Healy claps his hands and again says ‘thank you’. There are tears in his eye. A fan in the front row yells out ‘YOU DON’T DESERVE IT’. Which is weird because he’s not really getting anything he doesn’t deserve…at least in reality. Healy continues to stand in the ring…the fans are now pissed, booing louder and louder~
Smith: Can we get this clown out of the ring? He’s acting like he just went sixty minutes with The Incredible One and came up just short
Hood: All that face paint has leaked into his brain…he’s lost his mind!
~Healy gives a thumb up the fans saying “Thank you so much, thank you.” Suddenly, thankfully "Dear Enemy" by Night Club blares through the arena. The fans stand and turn toward the entrance. OCW’s newest signing, Heidi appears…she makes her way down to the ring~
Smith: Hood…that’s Heidi!! She just signed with us last week!
Hood: She’s got blue hair!
Smith: Yes, Hood…yes she does
~Heidi walks up the steps and enters into the ring. Healy smiles at the cute, coquettish competitor. He extends a hand while saying “you’re pretty.” Heidi rolls her eyes…she kicks Healy in the gut! The crowd goes wild! She double underhooks Healy’s arms and drops him with a Facebuster in the middle of the ring!!! The crowd leaps to their feet…they chant “THANK YOU HEIDI!” Heidi gets back to her feet, she slides her hair out of her face and exits the ring~
Smith: Heidi making short work of Andrew Healy!
Hood: Healy needs to start over and relearn everything he thinks he knows about life
Smith: Indeed…and for those of you unaware…Heidi calls that move Dead Space
Hood: Kinda like the area between Healy’s ears
Smith: Big things are expected from Heidi and if that is any indication…she will not disappoint! Anyway...I'm told TIO has arrived...let's cut backstage to see what's on his mind after that shocking attack from Bradley Carrington last week
~The cameras cut backstage as we see a larger hallway that is empty. Soon, fan favorite The Incredible One walks into view, causing the crowd to cheer heavily. He is speaking on his cell phone, with his duffle bag in hand, and is still walking slow from the attack last week. TIO walks into his locker room and places the duffle bag down as he continues to talk on the phone.~
TIO: Yes, Leslie, I know. I’m going to tell them exactly how I feel. Yes, I’m going to get to the bottom of it. When have I ever--
~TIO slowly stops talking as he looks around his locker room, realizing something is very wrong. He notices desks lined up in two columns, with a whiteboard at the other end of the room. In the middle of the two columns of desk is a projector.~
TIO: ...I’m gonna have to call you back.
~Hanging up the phone, TIO examines the room carefully. Suddenly the lights go out, causing the room to be pitch black. TIO grunts, as the sound of a desk moving is heard, as TIO can be heard fiddling with the door to his locker room, but it sounds like it’s locked. The darkness of the room is ended with the projector turning on, as a countdown begins to play. The countdown reaches zero - the following words are displayed~
Narrated by Hood
Written, Directed, and Produced by ‘The Professor’ Bradley Carrington
~The date February 24th, 2014 is shown followed by the name ‘Resurrection’. Footage of Brianna Casablancas escaping the House of Mirrors with the OCW Central Championship airs. A down, bloodied TIO is focused on, unable to keep Brianna from winning. The voice of Hood is heard acting as a narrator~
Hood: Guy lost to a girl. But...as if that weren’t bad enough!
~We see a shot of Brianna, moments after her win, handing the title over to TIO proclaiming him the new Central Champion~
Hood: Yep...his rival...the female doctor named after a black and white chick flick had to HAND him his first belt.
~The feed fades. A new date appears - March 22nd, 2014. The name ‘Black Out 2’ pops up. We cut to footage of TIO facing Casablancas yet again, defending his Central Championship. Highlights comprised entirely of Brianna offense are shown. It ends with Casablancas defeating TIO once more, reclaiming the Central Title~
Hood: So she HANDS him a title and then TAKES it back the very next month. I mean...maybe she was secretly some type of blue necromancing dragon in disguise but...I doubt it. So much for this incredible guy, huh?
~The scene fades. A new date emerges - ‘April 27th, 2014’. The name ‘Total Demolition’ flashes across the screen. A shot of TIO attacking Roach and declaring the Family dead airs~
Hood: War Games...The Family’s revenge on Brianna and her band of #MeToo warriors. TIO’s chance for redemption. What does he do? He walks out on his family. Way to go, TIO!
~The scene fades. A new date appears - ‘May 25th, 2014’. The name ‘Clash at the Coast’ bubbles into view. Clips of TIO and Sean Fuller losing the Tag Titles to Danny B and Amber Ryan are shown~
Hood: Ah, more incredible footage. This time we see Sean Fuller and his pain free, impervious to any kind of hurt, doing everything he can to defend the tag belts while TIO watches for fish in the water. And, well, naturally they lose. And...that’s all we have of TIO from this event...moving along!
~The date ‘June 19th, 2017’ is shown. The name ‘Stainless Steel Ride’ emerges. Footage of TIO’s OCW Title match against Matt Meyhu airs. We watch Meyhu escape the prison to retain his OCW Title~
Hood: Three years later and everything remains the same. TIO crawling around in grass while THE MARVEL escapes prison and retains the OCW Title.
~Again we fade to black. The date ‘July 24th, 2017’ is shown. The logo for Monday Night Massacre flashes across the screen. Highlights of the epic match between TIO and Mack O’Connor flash across the screen with Mack’s offense highlighted. We finally see the image of Jenna throwing in the towel and Mack being declared the new Paradigm Champion~
Hood: And there we have TIO’s daughter...yes...his DAUGHTER throwing in the towel for her beaten father. Incredible? More like incredulous
~Once more we fade. The date - ‘June 11th, 2018’ is shown. The poster for The Greatest Show on Earth pops up. Highlights from arguably the greatest match in OCW history airs. They are comprised of the middle of the match where Meyhu dominated. They end with Meyhu being declared the winner~
Hood: And...as this career retrospective comes to a close we get one final look at TIO falling short against The Marvel. I will give TIO credit...he managed to somehow last an hour...I had him running out of the tent at the thirty minute mark.
~The footage fades. An image of The Professor is shown~
Hood: So, what can we learn from this? Simple. TIO shrinks in the spotlight. He’s incapable of winning a high stakes match up. Put him in a big event and he loses...we’ve just shown you the footage to prove it. If he can’t beat a Marvel...if he can’t defeat Danny fucking B and his Darl...if he can’t solve the simplistic riddle that is Brianna Casablancas...then how in the fuck is he going to educate a Professor?
~Hood’s voice vanishes. We get the following message~
~The projector turns off and the lights return to normal in the locker room. TIO closes his eyes and puts his hands up to block the lights while he readjusts. The crowd boos the video that was just played. TIO sits there for a moment, pondering the video he just watched before grabbing a nearby desk and throwing it at the projector, breaking it, as the crowd chants ‘TIO’. TIO looks into the camera, confused and irate, that had just watched all the events unfold.~
TIO: You jump me, and now this? I don’t know what I did to make the Professor angry but obviously, he has his reasons. But instead of talking to me like a man, he uses playground tactics to get what he wants. Well, that isn’t going to happen. If Carrington wants a match with me, the Incredible One, he’ll have to ask me - in person. So you hear me Carrington?! No more children’s games! Be a man and face me in the ring, next week. Put up OR SHUT UP!
~The crowd explodes as TIO throws more desks around before leaving the locker room. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Unbelievable...I mean, seriously?
Hood: Wow, I never knew TIO's career had been so lackluster
Smith: What on Earth are you talking about? He helped carry this promotion in 2014. He main evented almost every show we had! Then last year...don't get me started on last year...he won the Paradigm Championship and held it all summer long before winning the OCW Title. Talk about a skewed version of history...but I guess I should expect nothing less coming from a man who calls himself 'The Professor'
Hood: Yea, shocking stuff
Smith: What do you mean 'shocking stuff'?! You were the narrator! I'm really beginning to question who you are and I'm not liking what I'm seeing
Hood: Oh calm down...it was just another paying gig
Smith: Right...anyway, we're a few moments away from our next match...but before it gets underway, let's cut backstage for some more action
~The scene begins with the Rebel wearing her ring gear and apparently in the process of getting ready for her match later tonight. She stretches, limbering up for her match later in the evening with a side leg lunge routine, showing great flexibility as her rear nearly touches the floor, ever muscle in her thighs, calves, and hips flexed. She bends slightly at the hip with an arm held straight up. She then rises to a squat position and repeats the lunge and bend yet again....~
~Julliet Brooks comes walking from right around the corner like a mad woman on the hunt for the man known as Crimson who she claimed she had unfinished business with. His locker room was near, so she quickly rushed to get to it, but noticed Rebel blocking her pathway. Nevertheless, there was no hesitation, so she brushed passed the other woman and finally found Crimson's door, trying to push it open and barge into, but with no luck which caused frustration~
~With a casual ease, The Rebel rose from her last stretch and rolled her neck, giving the joints a soft pop, then tilted her head slightly as she gazed upon Juliet.~
Rebel: Well well well... Lil' Ms. Brooks. What brings the self-proclaimed hottest commodity in wrestling down to the bowels of OCW?
~Julliet heard the sound of her voice, chuckled, then stopped to turned around to walk over and acknowledge her face to face~
Julliet Brooks: A fight is what I'm looking for. If you paid enough attention at the Greatest Show on Earth you would know that I went to through hell with Crimson and I'm hell bent on payback, but seeing as how he's being a little bitch and hiding out.. I guess my search will have to wait.
~Julliet rolls her eyes annoyingly and crosses her arms while looking at her~
Julliet Brooks: So, what exactly do you want? Are you looking for trouble?
~Melinda shrugs her shoulders with a smirk creasing those ruby red lips. She places her hands on her hips, sizing Juliet up for a moment~
Rebel: Trouble? Honey, trouble is looking you right in the eye.
Julliet Brooks: Tough words coming from someone like you. I've seen what you're all about. I have watched your fancy little video packages and cute promos, and while everyone is putting so much hype behind your name and work in the ring.. I on the other hand don't see anything special about you.
~That smirk grows into a rather dangerous grin on The Rebel's lips~
Rebel: If you're anything like your boyfriend, sweetheart, I am pretty sure the only thing you see as special is looking back at you in the mirror every morning and that mirror, is cracked and distorted, funhouse style. I'm not a package to be sold, I'm an experience to behold, sister. That's why I'm main eventing this show on my second appearance while you're busy looking for scraps backstage.
~Julliet held her breath as she stood toe to toe with her. Her expression became serious now~
Julliet Brooks: That's a good comeback, but I don't need to rely on anyone to get noticed. I do that on my own, but I can tell you need a hand with that. Just from standing this close to you, I can smell Mr. Welsh's cock on your breath. It's no wonder you moved up the ranks so quickly.
~The smile grew bigger on Mel's face. She moved in uncomfortably close to Juliet as she started to idly fix the woman's blouse up a bit, straightening the collar here, dusting a speck off her shoulder there~
Rebel: Julie, Julie, Juuuuuulllliiieee. Honey, sweetheart, future dance partner, let me explain something to you....
~The hand moved so fast and swift that Juliet just simply had no time to react. The blow spun her back and dropped her to one knee. It was perhaps the hardest slap she'd ever received, more akin to a cupped chop across the face, leaving welts and blisters across what was once pristine skin~
Rebel: ....The only dick that gets in my mouth is the one who put a ring on the finger of the hand that just slapped the living shit out of you. Now I dare you to get up and come at me, give me an excuse to add injury to insult.
~While on the floor, Julliet held her cheek with her hand and nodded her head in disbelief by what just happened. She watched Rebel walk away with a cocky sway of her tattooed hips. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Melinda Rhodes continues to make a major impression...now she's on the radar of the Pride of New Mexico, Julliet Brooks
Hood: I'm telling ya...that's my kinda woman right there! We've been putting up with Alice Knight, MJ fucking Bell...these stupid women...now we've got a real star! Melinda Rhodes!
Smith: Calm down, Hood. I wouldn't want you to get hurt
Hood: It's not like I'm falling in love over here like you do every time Alice Knight sneezes...I'm just a fan
Smith: Oh, I wasn't worried about your heart or feelings. I was more concerned with your nose. Melinda's the type to walk up and punch you right in the face just for talking about her
Hood: Stop selling her, okay? I'm already a fan!
Belvedere: From Lily, Georgia… she is the Purple VIP…she is…Josie Barnes!!!
~A “JOSIE” chant now breaks out. Barnes smiles and acknowledges the chant, throwing both arms into the air. The music dies down and Josie stares out at the crowd with a vicious grin on her face. She is handed a mic~
Josie: As you all know, I have been wondering what’s next for me. Well, I know what it is. I will give Ed Houston credit, we did put on a great match, but you know something, I have sat back and thought about things. I know what I can do, I know what I want. Given how I am, I think everyone out there should know what it is I want.
~She pauses while looking at the crowd. ~
Josie: I am putting this out there, and I hope Zybala or Marcus Welsh are listening. I want another shot at the Craze Title. I want another shot at Houston. I'm not giving up just because I was unable to capture the title. I made Houston work to get that title, think it's only fair I get another shot at it. Things are far from done, I don't care what he or others may think. I have worked and will keep working hard. I put my all into that match, and deserve another shot. I got injured even if I did it to myself as well. I would again, only next time I will make sure I win the title.
~The crowd starts chanting "PURPLE VIP" again. Josie waits for them to quiet down~
Josie: Thank you guys really. You guys are why I don't quit. I do also have some great news, I will be returning to action next week. No injury will hold me down for long. I hope you all will be ready for it.
~She drops the mic, as Shadow Boxing" by Parkway Drive hits. Josie starts to get out of the ring, and head back as the crowd is chanting "PURPLE VIP"~
Smith: She wants a rematch and I think she deserves it
Hood: Oh please...she needs to take her purple ass to the back of the line!
Smith: That match could have gone either way...and if not for an unfortunate injury...who knows...maybe she's the champion today?
Hood: Please...don't ever put Josie Barnes and champion in the same sentence
Smith: Rude. Well folks, it's time for some of the 'lighter' bits of tonight's broadcast as we cut backstage to TONY THE SPIDER!
Hood: haha!
~Tony the Spider is standing behind a merchandise booth with his hands on his hips. He has merchandise laid out in no particular order or organization. It seems that he is supervising the merchandise sales and concession stands. He points and waves as fans come by and buy OCW merchandise. A young woman working the hot dog stand taps Tony on the shoulder he turns and smiles at her~
Hot Dog Girl: Excuse Mr. Spider, I need to take a bathroom break, can you man the hot dog stand for a couple minutes?
Tony: (smiles at her) Number 1 or number 2? Hahahahahahahaha!
~The hot dog vendor smiles awkwardly and puts up 2 fingers then backs away.~
Tony: Don't forget to wash your hands with soap and water. We wouldn't want any germs on these hot dogs.
~Tony places some hot dogs in the grill and pretends to know what he is doing. He places some onions on the grill and moves them around aimlessly. Business at the hot dog stand is slow at the moment but the merchandise table is seeing a lot of business. A lot of new merchandise have debuted this week and are flying off the shelves. Tony smiles as he estimates the amount of money he will receive once they calculate the totals. The crowd pops as Bob Grenier appears on screen with a couple boxes in his arms. Tony marks out and hops up and down like a little girl~
Tony: Bob Greenier, how exciting to see you.
Bob: Hi Spider. I came to drop off some merch, I heard you are in charge of sales.
Tony: uh.... Hahahahahahaha!
Bob: Okay. Here's some "BG 420 Juice". You can try one if you like.
Tony: Why thanks.
~Bob hands over the boxes to Tony who places them at his feet, he opens one of the boxes and pulls out a small 2 oz vial. Bob reaches his hand out~
Bob: Uh, hey wait don't...
~Tony opens the vial up and gulps down the liquid. He instantly gags and spits it out~
Tony: What was that? OMG, I think I'm going to die.
Bob: I tried to warn you man, BG 420 Juice is 100% pure unfiltered Big Grenier sweat.
Tony: Your sweat? (Tony gags again)
Bob: Sorry man, I tried to stop you. Can you make sure you place that dead and center on the merch table?
~Tony is still gagging as Bob walks away quickly before a group of young adoring fans can recognize him.
Tony realizes he forgot about the hot dogs which are now burnt~
Tony: God dammit.
~Tony picks a hot dog up and eats one to try and get the taste of Bob Grenier's sweat out of his mouth. One hot dog turns into 2 and 3 and soon all of the burnt hot dogs are gone. Tony opens another box of hot dogs and a look of surprise comes over his face~
Tony: Wait a minute these aren't hot dogs.....
Tony pulls out an item that looks like a purple cock ring with what seems to be rabbit ears facing inwards. He puts it on his finger and admires it.
Female Voice: Tony, hey Tony. You have any hot dogs right now? I am super hungry.
~Tony quickly places his hand behind his back and turns to see OCW backstage interviewerWho'Re~
Tony: (quietly) Who'Re? Is that you?
~Who'Re nods and points to the hot dogs. Tony gives her a thumbs up and frantically opens another box of actual hot dogs and places them on the grill~
Tony: Should be just a second, won't take too long.
~Tony rolls the hot dogs around them picks one up and places it in a bun and hands it over to Who'Re~
Tony: here you go. Hope you enjoy it. On the house.
Who'Re: Thanks, You are a sweat heart Tony.
~Tony blushes and twirls his mullet as Who'Re walks off with hot dog in hand. As she walks off we cans see fans rushing to say hi to her and admiring her hot dog. Tony feels proud of himself and claps his hands together. He then realizes that the purple rabbit ear ring is no longer on his finger. He must have lost it as he was placing the hot dogs on the grill~
Tony: Dammit!
Female Customer: Excuse me sir. Can I get a Who'Re Special?
Tony: Who'Re Special? What's a Who'Re Special?
~Tony looks up and notices there is a long line of middle aged women standing in line for hot dogs. The first woman in line has her hands on her hips and is tapping her foot impatiently~
Female Customer: Could you please hurry up with the Who'Re Special?
Tony: Uh... what..
Female Customer: (she points to the box of cock rings) Those things. We saw Who'Re eating a hot dog with one of those things on the hot dog. She said they came with the hot dogs.
Tony: uh... hahahahahaha!
Female Customer: Well? are they ready?
Tony: Uh... yes. coming right up.
~Tony uses tongs to grab a hot dog and places it firmly into the cock ring then puts it on a bun. The woman hands him a 20 and tells him to keep the change. The box of cock rings run out quickly as the rest of the women in line are turned away in disappointment. He folds the empty box that the cock rings were in and puts it in a bin~
Hot Dog Girl: okay I'm back Mr. Spider. How did we do?
Tony: We did great. I'm going to get a nice check this week.
Hot Dog Girl: Thank you for covering me sir.
Tony: Hahahahahahaha!
~Tony begins to walk back towards the merchandise table, when the hot dog girls calls out to him~
Hot Dog Girl: Mr. Spider, did you see a box here? Someone was supposed to deliver it to the Purple VIP.
Tony: (Shakes his head and shrugs) Uh... no. Hahahahahahahahahaha!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I don't even know where to begin
Hood: He's the star of the show, Smith
Smith: Please, don't send me to the doctor for antidepressants. Sorry about whatever you just witnessed, fans...as a nice elixir...palette cleanser, let's head down to the ring for some tag team competition!
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Tag Team Match
Chad Vargas (29.6 pts) & Roach (4.2 pts) vs. Ed Houston © (22.85 pts) and Lukas Emery (1 pt)
~The wrestling starved crowd sits, awaiting their next match. Some idiot tries to start a wave. He’s instantly mauled and beat down by all the normal fans seated around him. Belvedere clears his throat into the mic. The crowd goes wild~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen…the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!!
~The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as "Bartholomew" by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system~
"Oh my God, please help me.
~The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates an area of the stage, and Lukas Emeey slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans~
Belvedere: Introducing first, making his way to the ring, standing 6’1 and weighing in at 208lbs…he hails from London, England, Lukas Emery!
~The spotlight follows as Emery continues his way to the ring, bouncing along with the music a little bit. He makes his way to ringside and takes the steps up to the ring before stepping into the ring. Once inside, he slowly turns around, looking out at his surroundings, before he waits the arrival of his partner, the OCW Craze Champion, Ed Houston~
Smith: Interesting pairing here, Hood. More head games by our GM?
Hood: Maybe…or maybe he just didn’t care enough to remember these two have beef
Smith: You realize we’re talking about Marcus Welsh and not the Eastern European
Hood: Whatever happened to EE?
Smith: That is an excellent question
Belvedere: And…his tag team partner…
~The screen turns black and then slowly starts to count down from 10. Once it hits 1 the sound of a rocket taking off echoes throughout the arena. Rocket Man starts to blare as Ed Houston slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp. He stops by fans in the crowd and high fives them. Once he gets about half way down the ramp, he sprints and slides under the rope. He quickly jumps to his feet and makes his way up to the turnbuckle where he waves to the crowd~
Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion…Ed Houston!!!
~Ed hops off the turnbuckle and turns around, looking at Lukas. Emery remains stoic, refusing to acknowledge or participate in any pre-match banter with the man who nearly crippled his girlfriend one week earlier. Ed blows his partner’s attitude off and keeps a safe distance as they await the arrival of their opponents~
Belvedere: And their opponents, introducing first…
~"King Nothing" by Metalilca hits. The crowd BOOOOS heavily. Roach throws the curtains aside and marches onto the ramp. He looks down at the two men in the ring and spits at the ground. He angrily heads that way, stomping up the steps and through the ropes. He shows no fear toward being outnumbered. He listens to the fans chant “SHIT HEAD” at him. He laughs and mimics dropping Alice Knight onto her head into the cement ground back at the ‘pet shop’ in Nebraska. This riles the fans up even more~
Belvedere: From Windsor, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 265lbs…he is making his first in ring appearance since 2014…please welcome…ROOOOOACCCCCCH!!!!
~Roach throws his arms up and yells at the crowd. They boo and boo and boo~
Smith: Ah, Roach…I wish I could say you were missed
Hood: Yep…because saying he was missed would be a gross understatement. Place just wasn’t the same without him!
Smith: Why couldn’t he have attacked someone else…why did it have to be our beloved Alice?
Hood: YOUR beloved, Alice…she sure as shit wasn’t mine…and, well, because Roach is a smart man.
Belvedere: And, his tag team partner…
~The opening chords of Lynyrd Skynyd’s “Needle and the Spoon” controls the sound system as a voice over shouts ‘King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” as “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas emerges onto the ramp, his arms raised in the air. He takes a few steps forward as orange, blue, and white pyros blast from behind him. Vargas turns, eyes wide as he smirks reveling in his entrance. He slowly struts down the aisle, mouthing obscenities to the crowd on his way by as they boo him. Once he reaches the ring, he slowly climbs up the steal steps and into the ring. Going to the furthest turnbuckle, he climbs up to the second rung, raises his arms in the air, still mouthing obscenities as he jumps down onto the mat, getting ready to lay down his opponent with his infamous country fried ass whoopin’~
Belvedere: From Everclear County….standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is the 2017 Margarita Mix Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…and he is the #1 Contender to the OCW Championship…please welcome ‘The Confederate Icon’ Chad Vargas!!!
~The crowd boos Vargas’ announcement. He laughs and turns to Roach. He extends his hand, Roach accepts. This pisses the crowd off even further. Belvedere heads over to Houston…Ed unstraps the belt from around his waist and hands it over. Lukas looks at the Craze Title and shakes his head. Belvedere accepts the belt and exits the ring. The bell sounds…the boos turn to cheers as the crowd sounds ready for some action~
Smith: And here we go! An interesting contrast from what we normally see in these types of matches…the two villains, if you will look to be far more cohesive than their heroic counterparts
Hood: Heroes always have bigger egos than villains, Smith.
Smith: Sounds like something a villain would say
Hood: Heroes always attempt to change the subject whenever the truth bothers them
Smith: Are you calling me a hero?
Hood: In the loosest sense of the term – sure.
~Vargas motions with his arms toward the ring saying “the moment is all yours” to Roach. Roach nods and steps into the center of the ring…Vargas takes his spot on the apron. Houston tries to do a paper, rock, scissors with Lukas. Lukas slaps Ed’s hands down and points toward the apron. Ed steps up to Lukas…the two have something of a stare down. Scruff heads over, trying to get a legal man to start the match~
Smith: This is not going to work
Hood: Lukas just needs to accept the fact that Josie Barnes was born to be a house wife. Send her home and let Lukas do the grunt work
Smith: That is so sexist
Hood: I’m just calling it the way I see it!
~Neither person is going to back down. Lukas talks trash to Ed…Ed retaliates. Scruff throws his arms up…he turns and sees something…he darts out of the way. Roach comes charging in and takes both men down with a double clothesline!!! Ed tumbles through the ropes, to the outside! Lukas hits the mat. Scruff motions that Lukas is the legal man~
Smith: Well, that’s one way to get things figured out
Hood: Roach…always a man of action!
Smith: Apparently so
~Roach rips Lukas from the mat and peppers him with vicious right hands. Lukas staggers against the ropes like a guy who doesn’t know what hit him. Roach palms Emery’s chin and raises his right hand…he brings it down SLAPPING the absolute shit out of Emery’s chest!! Lukas stumbles forward, gripping his chest. Roach stalks from behind and delivers a clubbing forearm into Emery’s back. Lukas straights up, arching his back in pain…Roach steps in front of Lukas and drops him with a sharp knife edged chop that echoes throughout the arena!! Lukas hits the mat, holding his reddening chest in pain~
Smith: Not the start Lukas Emery had hoped for
Hood: Yea but Roach is looking as good as ever…fucking love Roach!
Smith: Yes, we know
Hood: How about the irony of a guy named Roach ridding OCW of its biggest pest?
Smith: SHE ISN’T A PEST
~Roach stomps on Emery’s chest, flattening him out on the canvas. He methodically drops and elbow across the throat of Lukas. Roach remains seated next to Emery and begins to repeatedly bash the back of his head against the mat! Scruff comes in trying to get Roach to stop but Roach only increases the rapidity and impact of the blows. Finally, he stops leaving Lukas lying on the mat, motionless. Roach gets to his feet and throws his arms in the air. The crowd BOOOOOS! Roach sticks out his tongue before spitting a giant wad of saliva at the fans. It lands a few rows deep…fans scatter to avoid being struck~
Smith: Ugh, that man is disgusting
Hood: He’s just what we need, Smith. Bringing some grit back to OCW
Smith: I could have done without a six foot, four inch Roach running around
Hood: That’s because you have no eye for true talent
~Vargas yells out “I WANT IN!” Roach smiles, heads over and tags Chad into the match. An eager Vargas hops through the ropes and goes after Lukas. He kicks Lukas in the ribs, forcing Lukas onto his side. Vargas grabs Lukas by the hair and whips him into the ropes – Lukas hits hard. Vargas charges in with a clothesline, crushing Lukas. He grabs Lukas by the face and begins talking shit~
Smith: Chad’s never been a fan of Lukas Emery
Hood: Well no shit…did you see Chad’s 2017 run? He had to bust his ass just to stay relevant…this company tried to bury him!
Smith: So?
Hood: So! He’s struggling to keep his spot and some guy like Lukas just walks in and gets the Oh Shit Contract…then, not to mention, has Zybala trying to wedge him into the main event slot…I’d be pissed if I were Chad too!
~Vargas yells things like “YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!” “YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A DUMB BITCH” he keeps going on and on about Josie. Lukas, finally, has heard enough…he lifts a knee into the lower portion of Chad’s body…was it the groin? Hard to tell! Vargas staggers back. Lukas kicks off the bottom buckle and lunges forward with a clothesline! He takes Chad down! The crowd goes wild. We spot Ed on his knees, atop the apron…he gets to his feet and extends his hand for Lukas to tag~
Smith: You can only push a man so far
Hood: Maybe that anger was Lukas reaching the realization that he’s dating Josie Barnes
Smith: How dare you! He’s defending her honor!
Hood: You can’t defend something that doesn’t exist, Smith
Smith: You sicken me
~Emery gets to his knees and starts to move toward Ed. Vargas grabs his legs. Lukas turns around and gets to his feet…Vargas stands, holding onto one of Emery’s legs. Lukas throws an enziguri…Vargas ducks! Chad laughs…Lukas lands on his feet and throws a mule kick into Chad’s gut! Chad stumbles into the corner and Lukas looks over at Houston. Ed’s got his hand out, asking for a tag. Lukas throws his hands at Ed and turns back around, facing Vargas~
Smith: Lukas cannot move beyond their personal issue!
Hood: He’s blinded by purple rage!
Smith: Perhaps
~Lukas charges at Chad, lifting a knee into his chest. Vargas falls to the mat, seated up against the bottom buckle. Lukas backs up and charges forward a second time…he dives forward with both knees, slamming into Chad’s head!! The crowd cheers! Lukas is fired up! Vargas slumps to his side…Lukas grabs him by the legs and drags him out of the corner, near the center of the ring~
Smith: He is making the #1 Contender look like chopped liver!
Hood: Ugh…he doesn’t look THAT bad
Smith: Chopped SPAM?
Hood: Chopped liver sounds fine
~Lukas takes a few steps back, into his team’s corner. He waits for Vargas to get up. Ed slaps Lukas on the back. Emery turns around, furious. Scruff motions that a tag has been made. Lukas shoves Ed away and charges at Chad with Headshot (Kinshasa)!! Chad catches his leg!!! Lukas hops around on one leg like before…he throws the enziguri…Chad ducks! Lukas throws the mule kick…this time, Chad is ready…he catches the leg…he’s got Lukas in a wheel barrow situation~
Smith: You have to stay on your toes when facing The Confederate Icon…he’s too good…been in this game for too long
Hood: Not to mention that stupid astronaut wannabe distracted his own partner…what an idiot!
Smith: He just wants in the match…if Lukas had tried to tag him earlier there wouldn’t be an issue
Hood: Sure, take the side of the Josie Barnes crew member…CLASSIC SMITH
~Ed climbs to the top rope, ready to attack Chad. Vargas lifts Lukas and places him, throat first across the top rope. Ed flies off the top rope, soaring through the sky! Vargas senses Ed coming in from behind and ducks, keeping Emery’s feet in the air…his body parallel to the ground. This causes Ed to overshoot Vargas and land right on top of Lukas!!! Houston hops off and looks around in shock! Vargas laughs, stands up and tosses Lukas over the top rope by heaving his legs in the air. Lukas slams into the apron and falls, roughly to the outside. Ed and Chad stare at one another…Houston’s expression indicates he feels bad about what happened…Vargas continues to laugh and smile~
Smith: More miscommunication between Ed and Lukas.
Hood: Lukas is not gonna be happy about that…if he’s not dead
Smith: I’m sure he’s still alive
Hood: Can you ever truly be sure about anything?
Smith: I have no idea what that means or how I should answer it
~Houston doesn’t find the situation as amusing as Chad does. He throws a right hand. Chad blocks it by catching Ed’s hand. Vargas pulls Ed in for a short arm clothesline…Ed ducks!! Houston finds himself behind Chad…he throws a superkick into the back of Chad’s head!! Vargas stumbles into the ropes…he staggers back…Ed hits a perpendicular set of ropes…he bounces off and takes Chad to the mat with Slingblade!! The crowd goes wild for the Craze Champion~
Smith: Great quickness and explosiveness shown by The Rocket Man! That’s why he’s the Craze Champion!
Hood: Man all he’s going to do is piss Vargas off doing shit like that
Smith: Don’t underestimate Ed Houston, Hood. He could be a future OCW Champion
Hood: Please…you mean the NASA reject who’s current flying crop dusters…give me a break!
Smith: He’s not flying crop dusters…at least, I don’t think
~We see Lukas struggling on the outside, getting to his feet. He heads around the stairs and finds himself looking at Roach, who is zeroed in on the match taking place~
Smith: Lukas might have an idea
Hood: CHEATER! HE’S GOING TO CHEAT
~Houston is working the crowd into a frenzy. He waits for Vargas to get to his feet…Vargas does and Houston runs into the ropes…as he does, Roach yanks down on the top rope!! Houston flips over and to the outside where he lands right on top of Emery, taking him back out. The crowd booos Roach who just laughs and laughs. Vargas leans against the ropes for rest. He looks over at Roach and gives him a thumb up~
Smith: Oh no! That dastardly Roach!
Hood: What do you mean DASTARDLY…Lukas was about to trip him
Smith: You’re jumping to conclusions
Hood: Plus, it’s not Roach’s fault that Ed keeps beating Lukas up…talk about some bad teamwork
~Houston gets to his feet and looks down at Lukas with an ‘OH SHIT’ expression. Roach hops off the apron. Scruff approaches the ropes nearest the situation. Vargas steps up and grabs Scruff, turning him around and engaging him in conversation. Every time Scruff tires to turn back around Vargas keeps him from doing so. Roach snares Houston by the back of the head…but Houston responds by hooking Roach’s head, jumping into the air and dropping him with a Destino!!! The crowd goes wild!! Unfortunately, on the way down, the back of Ed’s head clips the edge of the stairs!!! Ed rolls around, holding the back of his head while Roach is down. Vargas, witnessing the act, yells at Scruff “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING…WATCH THE MATCH…COUNT! COUNT!” Scruff turns around and begins counting~
Smith: Such a manipulator…I wish we had a ref who could see through these confederate shenanigans
Hood: Scruff is obviously a man from the south
Smith: Where IS Scruff from?
Hood: I honestly have no idea…but if put on the spot, I’d say…the streets
~Ed gets to a knee. He spots Roach laid out. He sees Lukas, laid out, but beginning to stir. Ed stands and stumbles toward Lukas. Scruff yells “FIVE!” Ed tries to help Lukas up, apologizing. Lukas gets to his feet and he SHOVES Ed away. The crowd responds with a ‘OH COME ON, IT’S ED!’ reaction. Ed extends his arms, attempting to explain what happened. Scruff yells ‘SIX!’~
Smith: Ed trying to piece this thing together so they have a shot at pulling out a win
Hood: Look, I get he’s all for treaties and peace and what the fuck ever…but now is not the time…The Rocket Man is about to be counted out
Smith: Indeed…perhaps he should capitulate and head back inside
Hood: Capitulate? For fuck’s sake, talk like a normal human!
~Ed continues to plead his case. Scruff yells ‘SEVEN!’ Houston extends his hand. Lukas slaps it away and grabs Ed by the hair. The crowd reacts with a hint of anger. Scruff yells ‘EIGHT!’ Lukas drags Ed over, near the ring. Scruff yells ‘NINE!’ Lukas throws Ed back into the ring and shakes his head, frustrated with the position he’s been put into on this particular evening. Ed rolls near the center of the ring, breaking the count. He gets to his knees, smiling, believing that an olive branch has been extended~
Smith: That’s something, I guess
Hood: Lukas just has his priorities straight
Smith: Indeed…Ed had better stop smiling and pay attention to what’s in the ring.
Hood: Yep…fucker was thrown right back into the shark tank
~Ed leans back, slightly. His back brushes up against Chad’s knees. Ed reaches up, confused. He grabs at Chad’s trunks. He turns around and finds himself eye level with The Confederate Crotch. His head snaps back…as any straight man’s head would. Vargas reaches down and grabs Ed by the hair…he throws a knee into Ed’s face!! Ed sways back and forth, dazed. Vargas picks Ed up…he hoists Ed over his shoulder, walks toward the ropes and drops Ed, throat first over the top rope!!! Houston’s body snaps back onto the canvas…he clutches his throat, kicking his feet~
Smith: C’mon, Ed!
Hood: He’s not ready for the big time, Smith. Just admit it!
Smith: He’s one of two champions we have, Hood. He’s ready…matches like this will simply better prepare him for what lies ahead
Hood: Careful…some people fly crop dusters for a reason…they weren’t mean to go THAT high
~Roach has awakened. He’s on his feet, outside. He rubs his head, feeling lingering pain from Houston’s Destino. He spots Ed in a bad way. He smiles. He yells at Vargas. Vargas yells back “WELL GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!” Roach marches up the steps and gets in position for a tag. Vargas tags Roach in. The crowd groans…they feel pity for what’s headed Ed’s way~
Smith: This is not good
Hood: Ed is GROUNDED…in more ways than one
Smith: We need Lukas! C’mon, Lukas!
Hood: You kidding me? Lukas is probably enjoying a front row seat while viewing the demise of Ed Houston
~Roach steps through the ropes. He yells at Ed while marching the champ’s way. Houston gets to his knees…he looks up at Roach and displays a look of concern. He spots Lukas…too far away for a tag. He acts like he’s about to get to his feet…Roach reacts. It’s a fake out! Ed crawls through Roach’s widened stance…unfortunately, Roach catches him!! Roach hooks Ed around the waist and in a tremendous display of power dead lifts him up and into a powerbomb position. Ed punches Roach in the head out of desperation. Roach yells, he tries fighting off the blows. Ed delivers a skull crushing head butt!! Roach wobbles, but remains standing. Finally, Ed does what he must…he leans forward and bites Roach! Roach weakens enough allowing Ed to reverse the power…he leans back and takes Roach down with a Frankensteiner!! Roach lands awkwardly onto the mat! He grabs for the back of his head. Ed looks up…he crowd is cheering him on~
Smith: Yes! Way to go, Ed!
Hood: He fucking cheated! No wonder they threw him out of the NASA program!
Smith: The man is simply doing what he must to survive
Hood: You can find an excuse for anyone, can’t you?
~Ed gets to his feet…he looks down at Roach. He then looks at Lukas. Lukas has his hand out, urging Ed to take him…in a not-so-friendly manner. Ed looks out at the crowd…they yell ‘TAG HIM!’ Ed…a man of the people, puts his personal issues aside and tags Lukas! Lukas rushes into the ring, pushing Ed aside. He goes right after Roach who is standing, slouched in a corner~
Smith: And here we go! Lukas Emery is ready to fight!
Hood: Now we’re talking…I bet Lukas could fly a space shuttle
Smith: Perhaps he could…we’ll never know
Hood: He’d at least do a better job of it than ED. I mean what kind of guy gets beat up by old people in a grocery store?
Smith: Could have happened to anyone
Hood: Sure…but it didn’t happen to anyone…it happened to Ed fucking Houston
~Lukas drills Roach with some well-placed strikes. He starts to whip Roach out of the corner but, instead of sending him across the ring, he lifts a knee into Roach’s gut, sending the big man tumbling over, onto his back. Lukas hits the ropes. He sprints off and drops a quick and violent sit out drop kick into the side of Roach’s head. The crowd is on their feet…they are cheering Lukas on. He pops back to his feet, feeding off their energy~
Smith: Things are looking up…somehow, someway this destined to fail team of Lukas Emery and Ed Houston are in control
Hood: What a fucking disaster! Roach’s return…Chad is our number one contender
Smith: It’s OCW…anything can happen
Hood: We need to protect the talent and let the Ed Houstons and Lukas Emerys of the world take each other out
~Lukas pulls Roach back up…he whips him into a corner. Lukas charges in and SMACKS Roach into the head with a Turnbuckle Enziguri!!! Roach tumbles forward, collapsing to the mat. Lukas looks around, the crowd chants ‘YES!’ He steps through the ropes and begins to climb~
Smith: He just hit Wickedness…that’s the prelude to Light of Emery!
Hood: Son of a WHORE
Smith: He looks great…if I were Mack O’Connor…I’d watch out
Hood: What does that even mean? Mack’s got ONE leg
~Lukas nears the top. Vargas hops off the apron and rushes toward Lukas. Ed sees what’s going on and tries to get into the ring for a quicker angle to cut Vargas off. Scruff rushes over, telling Ed he can’t enter. Vargas hops onto the apron near the corner Lukas is perched…he SHOVES Emery’s legs, forcing the former Oh Shit holder to get crotched on the top buckle!! The fans BOOOOO. Vargas slaps the mat…Roach looks over, still on his back. Vargas yells “PIN HIS ASS!” Roach slowly nods and starts to get up. Vargas rushes back toward his corner and hops onto the apron. Ed and the fans are yelling at Scruff. Scruff finally looks in the appropriate direction only to find a very innocent looking Vargas~
Smith: No! That awful Chad Vargas…he’s ruining a great moment!
Hood: No, he’s preventing TRAGEDY
Smith: What a show of unity for the fans…Lukas and Ed fighting through their personal issues to emerge victorious…potentially RUINED by the biggest jerk in OCW history
Hood: That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about Chad Vargas
~Roach gets to his feet and stumbles for the corner. Lukas is in perfect position for Roach to transfer him, easily, from the ropes onto his shoulders. Roach reaches the center of the ring…he stares into the camera and yells. He flips Lukas around with an F-5 before dropping him head first with a DDT!! Ed cringes. Roach goes for the pin…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…the team of…“THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS AND ROACH!!!!!
Smith: They just stole this one! Makes me SICK
Hood: Yea well go take some pills or something…I for one am very excited…Roach is back and he looks like the fucking man!
Smith: He disgusts me
~Roach and Vargas congratulate each other. They take turns taunting the angry crowd. Ed walks around the ring and tries to help Lukas…but Lukas shoves him away. Amelia comes down and gives Ed a very aggressive shove. Houston looks at them like ‘what the hell’. Amelia tends to her brother~
Smith: I think it’s safe to say Ed won’t be getting a Christmas card from the Emery’s
Hood: Why? Do they not celebrate the holiday? Do they celebrate Festivus?
Smith: Figure of speech!
~Houston marches around the ring, grabs his Craze Title and heads up the ramp. Amelia helps Lukas up the ramp after Houston. The fans continue to boo the duo of Vargas and Roach. Vargas, finally having enough of teasing the fans, steps through the ropes. Roach, about to do the same, hears a strange reaction. A loud “HOOT” sounds out in the crowd. The fans starting hooting along~
Smith: What is this?!
Hood: Oh for fuck’s sake
~Roach turns around and spots OWLIE THE OWL in the front row, flapping his wings. Roach grits his teeth and says ‘You mother fucker’. He rushes across the ring. Vargas stops and looks to see what’s going on. He decides it’s none of his business and turns back around, heading up the ramp. Roach steps through the ropes and hops down, heading over for Owlie. Owlie takes off, running into the crowd. Roach reaches the barricade and is about to step over – until he realizes the fans HATE him. They are ready to pounce on him the minute he steps into the crowd~
Smith: Owlie the Owl!!
Hood: Will this foolishness ever end?
Smith: NEVER
~Roach glares at Owlie as the Alice Knight owl mascot disappears into the sea of people. He yells some obscenities~
Smith: That’s right, Roach. You made a big mistake and it’s going to haunt you until you receive what’s coming
Hood: Alice Knight had better not come near Roach…he will destroy her
Smith: Who says it’s got to be Alice Knight? It could be anyone with a heart and a conscience.
Hood: Well whoever it is…fuck them!
Smith: Eloquent as always, Hood. Anyway, let’s head backstage
Knee deep in the river trying to get clean.
He says wash your hands, get out the stains.
But ya best believe boy, there's hell to pay.
Yeah, ya best believe boy, there's hell to paaaayyyy."
~Tom and Jack Lockwood are holed up in a back alley of the arena. They sit against the walls adjacent from each other~
Jack: OCW. We're here! Next week on this program, We're gonna hurt someone.
Tom: Beatdowns at Punk Rock prices. Dig?
Jack: It's like this. We're generally pretty fun loving fucking guys but when it comes to chaos and violence.. Getting even with the enemy.. We can be bought.
Tom: We come from the dirt man, The fuckin' East Bay ya'll. It's time we finally start stompin' the shit outta this place like me and broheim certainly know how to do.
Jack: Nobody is safe. Nobody is immune. Inquire within. We have a workmanship guarantee. If you're not satisfied the initial job, The 2nd one is on the house. Inquire within.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: The Lockwoods? Don't these guys have better things to do with their time?
Hood: Greatest tag team to never win the belts in OCW history, Smith
Smith: That is HIGHLY debatable
Hood: The only thing debatable is whether our rating will double or TRIPLE now that word is out they are back
Smith: Yea, right...
"WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY, WE WILL PARTY HARD!"
~The crowd cheers as Commisioner Zybala steps out from behind the curtain and steps out on the stage. He makes his way down the ramp and slides in the ring. Zybala waves all around the arena, acknowledging the fans. He then sits on the top turnbuckle and motions for the music to stop, which it does~
Smith: It looks like our commissioner has something on his mind.
Hood: Does it matter? It most likely won't be anything good. Unless it's his resignation, Mr. Welsh will put the nix on it.
~Zybala slowly raises the microphone up and begins to talk~
Zybala: You know, I love this business. No matter what company I go to, no matter what crowd I'm in front of, I always pour my all into being the best I can be. Whether it was in the ring, behind the announce table, or as your commissioner, I've always tried to put on the most entertaining show possible. It's why I came up with the Craze Division. It's why I try to make matches with stipulations. It's why I try to break up the BORING and STALE monotonous dribble that you've been accustomed to in wrestling.
But it's kind of hard to do all that when a power mad jackass kills all of my ideas before we can see if they work. I'm of course talking about Marcus "This is MY toy" Welsh. The man who can't be bothered unless it involves kissing Meyhu's ass on t.v. or sucking his dick behind the scenes!
~The fans make the typical "OOOOOOOH!" in response to this and cheer. Zybala let's them carry on for a moment then he continues~
Zybala: Seriously, ever since OCW reopened, getting the belt around the waist of Matt has been your number one priority. You made the claim that since he didn't get pinned in a triple threat match and since he was the former champion, he DESERVED a rematch. Now I find that a bit curious. A former champ getting a rematch title shot. But just last week, you told TIO that wasn't how things work. Double standards much? If Meyhu can do it, so can TIO. Fair is fair. I'm sorry that my Fatal Four way match was better than anything you had in mind. Plus the way I see it, and I'm pretty sure the way their LAWYERS see it, Emery and TIO have a claim to a title match. But if you see it differently, I'll gladly back away and let you deal with all the legal stuff. I'm just trying to do right by ALL our talent. I won't get sued.
Speaking of sued, great job with you "brilliant" idea of the Lost at Sea show. Let's put a bunch of wrestlers who have made many, MANY claims of wanting to kill each other on a weekly basis and put them on a large ship where they can use ropes to tie each other up and throw them overboard! And you say my ideas are dumb. Hi pot, I'm kettle! Nice to meet ya!
And going back to the whole double standards thing; when TIO went after you, you wanted to fire him and you whined and cried like a little bitch. When I get attacked by the talent, I don't threaten to fire or suspend. I offer a match idea for me to get some pay back. I even offered your hired gun a title match if him and Knux could win. However, since it wasn't a MARCUS idea, he went ahead and nixed that idea. In fact, you hated the idea so much, you went ahead and FIRED Wentz just so there was no way the match could happen.
That's one asshole down, but what about the other guy who laid hands on me? What about head of security Knux? I know anything I do you'll just reverse it, but to make it a hassle for you, I'm gonna do it anyway. Until you reverse the decision, effective immediately, Knux is fired. Now I know you're gonna amend that, but I already filled out the paper work before I came out here. So good luck with all the new hire paperwork for Knux.
~The crowd pops. Zybala reaches into his pocket and removes a piece of paper~
Zybala: Oh, and while we’re at it…since you stated I was in charge of the Craze Division…I came up with an idea for the Craze Championship. We all heard what Josie Barnes had to say tonight. I have no doubt you were going to find a way to keep Josie out of that match – she obviously doesn’t fit into your plans, Welsh. But, considering how close she was to defeating Ed at The Greatest Show on Earth, I felt it would only be fair to give her a rematch at Lost at Sea!
~The crowd goes wild. A ‘PURPLE VIP’ chant starts~
Zybala: Oh, and that’s not all! In two weeks we will have a Process of Elimination match…you remember those, don’t you Welsh? We will have a Process of Elimination Match featuring six OCW talents. The winner of the match will be placed in the OCW Craze Championship match at Lost at Sea making it a triple threat!
~A ‘ZYBALA’ chant fills the OCW Arena. The fans are digging his decisions~
Zybala: Don’t like it? I assume you do not…as has already been stated…you loathe any idea that didn’t come from your average thought process. I anticipated you’d probably shoot this down the minute I announced it so…I’ve got some documentation here signed by one…Jimmy Buffett!
~Zybala holds the paper up to the camera. We see, in writing, everything Zybala just announced with Buffett’s official signature underneath along with a notary stamp. The crowd goes wild. Zybala folds the paper back up and stuffs it in his pocket~
Zybala: Good luck changing that one. Lastly, you wanna tell me to stay in my lane, call me a dumb puppy and threaten me? (Zybala gets off the turnbuckle and walks over to the ropes facing the back area and leans on them) Listen, and listen good mother fucker. Shadow couldn't control me, Pettis couldn't control me and you sure as shit can't control me! So go ahead, do your worse. Try to kick the puppy. But make sure the kick counts, because if you miss, I will tear your fucking leg off!!
~The fans cheer as Zybala drops the microphone, rolls out of the ring and heads towards the back~
Smith: Some strong words from our commissioner.
Hood: He better watch what he's saying. Welsh isn't going to take that lightly.
Smith: No doubt the GM is fuming backstage...speaking of backstage, I'm told the champ is in the building...finally
Hood: What's with the attitude...he's the CHAMP. Didn't you see his new parking space?
Smith: Yes...the lime green lines and giant gap so his ridiculously large car can park horizontally was hard to miss
Hood: A thing of beauty
Smith: More like decadence...regardless, let's head backstage to see what the champion is up to
~‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu walks down the hall backstage. Dressed in a black t-shirt that says “THE MARVEL” in LIME green and a pair of jeans, he makes his way toward his locker room. With sunglasses inexplicably on his face indoors, he doesn't see the two kids walking up next to him.~
Kid #1: Mr. Meyhu! Can I have your autograph? Please!
~Matt doesn't even turn his head toward the kids next to him. One is dressed in the same exact shirt as Matt, while the other has an Ed Houston shirt on. They are each carrying posters of their respective favorites.~
Matt Meyhu: Can't do it, kid. I'm in a hurry! If I sign one for you, every kid in the place will want one.
Kid #2: I don’t.
Matt Meyhu: You deal with rejection well.
~Matt continues on his way, still refusing to even give the kids a glance. He rounds the corner and they follow closely behind.~
Kid #1: Please, Mr. Meyhu! Tomorrow is my birthday!
Matt Meyhu: Oh yeah?
Kid #1: Yeah!
Matt Meyhu: Come back tomorrow.
Kid #1: Will you be here?
Matt Meyhu: As far as I know, we don’t have a Tuesday show. So, probably not.
Kid #2: Just sign the poster man!
~Matt stops in his tracks and the kids nearly run into him. They stand behind him silently as he ponders something… It could be what he’s having for dinner tonight. It could be the fact it took an extra week for his LIME green parking space to be completed~
Kid #1: ...Mr. Meyhu..?
Matt Meyhu: Fine. ONE autograph.
~Matt lets out a heavy sigh. He dramatically rips the sunglasses from his face and hangs them on the collar of his shirt. Matt spins around and grabs the nearest sharpie before signing the poster… The Ed Houston poster.~
Kid #2: What the hell?!
Kid #1: What… What about mine?
~Matt looks at the kid holding the Meyhu poster. He is heartbroken. Not wanting to make up for, or even admit, the mistake he has just made, Matt glares at him.~
Matt Meyhu: I said ONE autograph. Gimme that.
~Matt rips the poster from the kids hand and stomps over to his locker room.~
Matt Meyhu: I’m going to resell this to someone who can count.
~Matt slams the locker room door behind him.~
Hood: Now that’s a role model!
Smith: ...
Hood: Yes, I know...his philanthropic activities have rendered you speechless...
~The arena goes dark suddenly. A quote crosses the big screen in large white font against a solid black background.~
“I know your weakness.”
~The screen then glitches as the shot widens to take up the screen. An inverted cross then glitches across the screen with a high pitched frightened female scream throughout. The Fury Studios logo then glitches briefly across the screen before a building begins to fade in. The building is revealed slowly to be Doylestown Hospital in Doylestown, Pennsylvania.~
~“Three Days Ago” scrolls across the shot. The hospital is lit up from the outside but it is completely dark outside. The hospital sits quiet at this hour of three o’clock in the morning. Few security guards, nurses, and especially doctors. A long hallway inside the hospital glitches to life from the outside shot of the large building.~
~Every camera within the facility is now under complete control of Fury Studios elite team of hackers, The NerdSquad. Shots of different hallways are shown from every possible camera angle. The last shot halts this and reveals the back of an unknown individual. He wears what appears to be a doctors lab coat while having his head covered in a bonnet and facial surgical mask as if prepared for surgery. The unknown Doctor walks through the halls of the hospital as if a bit lost but continues on.~
~A nurses station comes up on the right in the shot as the camera’s lining the walls films this unknown individual from behind is some calculated manner to keep the person's identity hidden. No nurses are at the station but a few scalpels sit on the desk of the top nurses desk. The unknown person picks up one then holds it up, appearing to examine it carefully. The individual shakes their head suddenly in a disapproving manner before dropping the scalpel on the cold hospital floor. Then they reach into the lab coat and pulls out a huge buck knife!~
~The individual then drags the knife along the wall as he continues down the long hallway. Lights overhead flicker long needing changed out for new fluorescent tubes. The blinking lights paint a creepy picture with the unknown person dragging the large knife along the wall. Suddenly he stops in front a door marked, “204”.~
~The unknown individual then looks through the small door window to see Checkers, Curt Canon’s best friend laid out on a large hospital bed. The monkey is still completely comatose. The person then takes off the hair bonnet and shakes their head to free a long solid red mane. The camera from the closest wall zooms in close as the individual removes the surgical mask to reveal The Fury, Tommy Crimson! He peels off the lab coat to reveal his HUMAN SKIN JACKET before looking down each side of the hallway to make sure the coast is clear. Crimson then opens the door to Checkers room that has been fully paid for by Curt Canon, who is in Florida for Monday Night Massacre already.~
~Tommy slowly and quietly shuts the door behind himself. He then walks into the small hospital room reserved for Checkers. The monkey has small tubes running in each nostril while a machine keeps helps him breath. A camera in the corner catches all of this. The camera was installed in the room to keep an eye on the wild creature.~
The Fury: Checkers.
~Crimson turns his head ever so slightly after calling out the animals name. The camera continues to film while Tommy approaches even closer while still holding the large buck knife. Tommy gets onto the bed and slowly crawls up until he is hovering above Checkers while using both hands to hold himself up on either side of the monkey.~
The Fury: What was that?
~Tommy leans in close with his ear to the animals mouth to listen. The comatose critter didn’t make even the slightest noise, this is simply a ploy to further taunt a hall of famer. Crimson suddenly brings the knife up with his right hand while using the left to balance himself. He puts the shiney knife up to Checkers throat then holds it. Tommy then looks up at the camera in the corner to speak to Curt Canon directly.~
The Fury: One slice, Curt. That’s all it would take to break you as a man. I slice this knife across Checkers throat and watch him bleed out and you are done. I want to kill your best friend. I want to break your heart.
~Tommy then takes his gaze from the camera and back to Checkers.~
The Fury: A shit slinging tree rat means dick to me. I love the fact that if I kill you that the entire world will hate me. I will use that “heat” to stoke the fires of my awesome to burn this fuckin’ world down.
~The Fury then looks back over at the camera to address his former friend directly.~
The Fury: Do you feel helpless, Canon? Rhetorical question. I know you do. You watch this and quiver from fear at what I will do. That’s panic that you feel consuming you right now. That particular weakness will be your undoing, I’m afraid. You know it, too.
~Tommy picks the knife up off the monkey’s throat to reveal Checkers to be safe and sound without any knowledge of anything going on. Crimson then carefully gets off the bed to stand alongside it with the camera behind him now. He stands in front of it to where you can’t see Checkers at all now. Crimson lifts the large knife up into the air suddenly! He brings the sharp weapon down in a stabbing motion! Tommy then puts his right hand at his side with no knife now but the camera still can’t see what’s happened to Canon’s beloved pet directly in front of Crimson. Tommy spins around quickly to face the camera but Checkers is still hidden behind him out of the camera’s view.~
The Fury: You have no choice now, Curt. I want to drag something out of you that Scott Syren only dreamed of. I want to see that pure unadulterated rage on full display and this is how I do just that. Checkers is my way into your head. This mindfuck could be my greatest of all time. I want to create a monster with my ability to manipulate the weak minded and tender at heart. That’s what this is and why this all had to happen.
~Crimson then moves over slightly to reveal the knife stuck into the bed right next to Checkers head! Canon’s beloved monkey is still alive and unharmed.~
The Fury: Fuck it!
~Tommy reaches down behind the bed suddenly and pulls the plug on all the medical devices! Checkers is left without any way to breath or continue to live on in his current condition. The camera shows Checkers gasp for air as a nurse rushes down the hallway full speed ahead out of the shot. She gets to the door and swings it open immediately! The seasoned nurse then rushes over to the bed and plugs all the equipment back up after receiving no vitals at the nurse station on Checkers. She sighs relieved that she’s saved this monkey but then notices something written on the window with blood.
~“I Murder All That's Good”, is smeared across the window in Tommy’s own blood he extracted earlier with another knife out of shot before disappearing out of the room. An inverted cross glitches across the screen as control is returned back to OCW Headquarters. Hood and Smith come back into focus inside the OCW Arena.~
Smith: He’s a monster, Hood.
Hood: N…
Smith: A MONSTER!
~Smith cuts off his long time commentating partner with pure frustration by Tommy’s actions. Suddenly Curt Canon comes into focus backstage looking all over.~
Hood: Canon looks pissed!
Smith: Wouldn’t you be?!
Hood: I’d never have a shit slinging tree rat.
Smith: Don’t quote that monster.
Hood: That was three days ago! Fuck! Move on!
Smith: Ugh!
~Canon is shown again backstage. He approaches any and every employee he comes across with the same question.~
Canon: Have you seen, Tommy Crimson!?
~They all point to the locker rooms to immediately snitch The Fury out. Canon continues down the halls in with a focused rage.~
Canon: FLAMER!
~The camera cuts to the inside of Tommy Crimson’s personal dressing room. He refuses to dress with other wrestlers. Crimson’s too big of a star to deal with that. He is leaned back in a folding chair as if he is almost waiting for something. Canon’s “Flamer” screams brings a grin across the sadistic madman’s face momentarily.~
Canon: FLAMER!
~Curt comes up on Tony the Spider who is selling merchandise outside the locker rooms due to Welsh sending him here for attempting to follow Brooks into the bathrooms. He watches Canon approach the door marked, “FURY”. He kicks the door open to find Tommy sitting in the chair facing him now.~
The Fury: There you are. I’ve been waiting.
~The door swings shut behind Canon while Tony puts his ear to the wall outside to hear. He continues to do his job too. Crimson sits in the chair inside but slowly stands up with a smirk across his face.~
The Fury: Fuck You and that shit slinging tree rat, Curt.
~Curt has heard enough and charges at Crimson as the camera shot turns away from the two men for some reason and back to Tony outside at the merch table. He stands close to hear while continuing to do his job. Suddenly the dry wall bursts out from the wall just out from The Spider! Crimson flies through the wall and ends up bouncing against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway! This shocks everyone. Canon walks through the hole in the wall he just created with Tommy. The smaller wrestler using rage to fuel almost unhuman like strength. Security rushes in but Crimson sits up with a bloody mouth quickly.~
The Fury: No! Stay back!
~This shocks the security team but they do as he asks for some reason. Tommy grins as blood drips down his chin. He looks up at Curt Canon.~
The Fury: I bet you had to let Syren fuck you to get where you are today. Did he take your butthole cherry, Curt? Did it snag a little or slide right in?
~Curt charges at Tommy then lifts him up by the collar of his HUMAN SKIN JACKET! The smaller wrestler hoists up the larger Crimson with all he’s got onto the table. Canon then turns and walks back into the Crimson’s locker room to nab the folding chair. He folds it down then grabs it with each hand along each leg for a better swinging motion. Tommy laughs while laid out on the table with a bloody face. Security tries to intervene but Crimson threatens their lives as Curt rounds the corner with the chair already drew back. He begins to beat Tommy without mercy on the table with it. Vicious chair shots echo down the hallway as the smaller Canon attempts to retire The Fury. The merch table collapses while Curt is still beating Tommy with the chair.~
The Fury: Biitch.
~Canon lifts up Tommy’s arm again as he whimpers the insult. Canon takes off while dragging the larger wrestler. He pulls him into the PC bathrooms that are marked for everyone now. Canon pulls Tommy up then whips him toward the cheap bathroom stalls with all he’s got! Crimson crashes through the thin aluminium wall of the bathroom stall! Crimson bursts through and ends up alongside the toilet in the middle stall! The Fury went through two bathroom stalls from the force of the incensed Curt Canon!~
Hood: He’s going to kill him!
Smith: I’ve never seen this Curt Canon! Canon is proving why he is the strongest wrestler pound for pound in all of OCW!
Hood: What’s he doing!? Canon has destroyed the backstage area using a man like a wrecking ball to do so!
~Canon props Tommy up on the toilet then shoves his head into it attempting to drown him! Crimson reaches up and flushes the toilet in order to breath. Beaten and battered, Tommy continues to stoke the rage of his former friend.~
The Fury: Pussy.
~Tommy’s voice is muffled a bit inside the bowl but Canon has lost it. He pulls the thick glass back off the toilet then adjusts Crimson’s head on the seat. He raises up the back of it high into the air! The crowd outside in the arena gasps when he smashes Tommy’s head between it and the seat.~
Smith: Oh my GOD!
~Crimson falls limp on the floor in the piss someone with terrible aim left for this moment unknowingly. Curt leans down and grabs Tommy by the collar once more. He lifts his prone body up enough so him and The Fury are face to face.~
Curt: You think you’re crazy Tommy? You think you’re nuts? You think you can instill fear in to everyone you come across? You are none of those things. Everything you think you know about yourself is a lie. Everything you think you know about me is a lie. You didn’t scare me Tommy, all you did was piss me off. Do you wanna see crazy? Do you wanna see nuts? Because what happened here to you tonight, is going to be nothing compared to what I do to you in the coming weeks. I will show you the meaning of the word fear Flamer...You’ve awoken a beast that can no longer be contained.
~Curt drops Tommy's body back onto the floor. He stares at him for a moment before reaching down and ripping the HUMAN SKIN JACKET from his limbs. Curt throws the jacket over his shoulders and puts it on. Tommy doesn’t move as medical staff rushes in to give him treatment. Canon grins at his work then exits the bathroom. Zybala rushes in with wide eyes. Canon exits without even looking at the commish as he struts past.~
Hood: He may have just killed The Fury. OCW is done. Fuckin’ Done. Did you see how thick the back of that porcelain toilet was?
Smith: The Fury just woke up a beast.
Hood: I believe that was his intent.
Smith: Sick.
~The scene comes to a close while they tend to Crimson inside the destroyed bathroom. Curt walks out amongst everything he just destroyed with an accomplished expression across his face.~
Smith: It appears as though Curt has been pushed too far
Hood: Guy is finally discovering what it takes to compete at the top of OCW. Good for him
Smith: Yea, well, I personally hate seeing Canon stoop to this level
Hood: Oh shut the fuck up
Smith: *gasp* How dare you speak to me like that!
Hood: Stop throwing a bitch fit and do your job...I wanna see Melinda Rhodes whip Grenier's ass all over Key West
Smith: Alright, fine...it's Main Event time ladies and gentlemen...can Melinda Rhodes pull off a huge upset by defeating OCW Hall of Famer Bob Grenier? Let's find out!
Hood: Go Rebel Go!
|
|
Bob Grenier (8.55 pts) vs. “The Rebel” Melinda Rhodes (5.5 pts)
~The crowd starts to cheer as they see Belvedere standing in the middle of the ring~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!
~The crowd goes wild! A ‘GRENIER’ chant emerges~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall…
~Halestorm's "Black Vultures" assaults the P/A system. Through the curtains steps a fit, pale skinned, raven haired and heavily tattooed woman, her fist raised up in the air. Her dark brown eyes wander over the crowd as she stands upon the stage, taking it all in for a moment. On her face we find dark crimson painted on her full lips and red highlighted black eye shadow over her eyes. Her modest chest is contained by a fringed red and blue leather vest, her ass covered by black and silver tights. She sports standard black pads on her elbows and knees, with knee high laced wrestling boots to match. On her wrists are red, white, and blue bands. Upon her hips rests a thick black leather belt with a large and square silver buckle that reads in an ornate font, "REBEL."~
Belvedere: ON HER WAY TO THE RING....
~She makes her way to the ring with a confident stride, slapping fives with a few outstretched hands as she does so. It doesn't take her long to reach ringside. She climbs the steps, wipes her feet on the apron, and slips through the ropes. Giving the crowd a one finger salute, Rebel Rhodes backs into a corner of her choosing and waits, giving a glare of utter contempt to the fans around her~
Belvedere: FROM ROME, GEORGIA, STANDING AT FIVE FEET AND ELEVEN INCHES TALL AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO POUNDS...RRRRRREEEEBBBBBEEEEEELLLLL RRRRRRHHHHHHOOOOODDDDDDEEEESSSSS!!!!
~Melinda raises her arm with another middle finger salute to the fans~
Smith: One week ago we were eagerly awaiting the debut of Rhodes…this week we watch her take on a former OCW Champion and Hall of Famer…is she ready for the test?
Hood: The boss sure seems to think so
Smith: Indeed…throw her right into the fire and see how she responds
Hood: That’s how we do it! No sense in wasting time with rookies needlessly paying dues…if they’re good…let’s find out as soon as possible
~Rhodes backs into her corner focused…ready for the challenge that awaits~
Belvedere: And her opponent…
~”Where the Hood at” by DMX hits…the crowd goes CRAZY. They leap to their feet in anticipation of Bob Grenier. Grenier marches through the curtain and stands atop the ramp, taking in the adulation. He nods his head, appreciating the support. He turns his focus onto Rhodes and stomps down the ramp, looking focused. He slides into the ring…finds a turnbuckle and hops onto the second rope, looking out into the crowd~
Belvedere: From Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is…Bob Grenier!!!
~”GRENIER!” the crowd yells in correspondence with Belvedere’s announcement. The music cuts off…Grenier hops off the corner and onto the mat. He turns, facing Rhodes who stands across the ring. Belvedere exits…the bell sounds. The crowd stands with eager anticipation~
Smith: Well Hood…here we go! You never really know how history is going to reflect on matches like these…years from now we could look back and have no clue who Melinda is
Hood: True
Smith: Or we could look back and see this as a pivotal match signaling the beginning of a heralded career. This could be the night when Melinda Rhodes establishes herself as a star within this company
Hood: Shit happens, man…I remember when Grenier and Vargas took on Syren…I thought they were just two average guys thrown into a match to make Syren look good…turns out we were watching three Hall of Famers in the cage that night.
Smith: Indeed…so let’s get to it…I for one cannot wait!
~Rhodes charges at Grenier, wasting no time. Grenier is taken aback by this extreme aggression. He braces for impact as Rhodes leaps through the air and lands on Bob, driving him into the corner. She unleashes a barrage of lefts and rights into Bob’s head. Grenier does a good job of covering up…he eventually shoves Melinda away. She staggers toward the center of the ring…Bob has a look on his face that seems to say “CALM THE FUCK DOWN”. Before Bob can take a breath, Melinda is back after him. She dives forward, spearing Bob back into the corner. Grenier winces…the wind is temporarily forced from his lungs. Melinda stands and drives her knee repeatedly into Bob’s ribcage…the fans seem anxious…they start to chant ‘BOB’ hoping the OCW superstar will put a stop to the punishment he’s receiving~
Smith: Melinda is like a rabid, feral creature…she’s all over him!
Hood: You think, maybe before Melinda got famous she asked Bob for an autograph and he was too stoned to hear her so she took it as a slight?
Smith: No, Hood…no, I don’t think that’s the case
Hood: Just a thought…don’t have to be such a dick about it
~Frustrated, Bob shoves Melinda as hard as he can. She flips backward, over her head, coming to rest safely on one knee. Bob gasps for air…he sees Melinda virtually unharmed and says “Fuckin hell”. Melinda charges back in…Grenier darts out of the way! Melinda hops onto the middle buckle. Bob charges in…Melinda hops up and hooks Bob in a head scissors! Grenier is stuck…Melinda bends her legs forward and slams Grenier’s head in to the middle buckle!! Rhodes, still hanging in the air, brings her knees crashing down into Bob’s back!! Grenier yells out in pain. Rhodes hits the mat on her feet and charges toward the ropes…she bounces off and sprints toward the ropes near Grenier…she slings her body between the top and middle rope smacking Grenier in the face with a 619!!! Grenier falls backward onto the mat, staring up at the lights. The crowd seems discouraged…Bob is getting his ass kicked~
Smith: This is completely unexpected…the OCW newcomer is schooling the OCW veteran!
Hood: It’s all this marriage stuff…it’s got Bob off his game!
Smith: Did he return too soon? Should he have waited another week?
Hood: He should have just ditched the extra baggage known as – wife
~Melinda snares Bob’s legs~
Smith: Uh oh…I’ve been going over Melinda’s profile and she is capable of applying a lethal sharpshooter…this could be it!
Hood: Fuck…already? I haven’t even ordered my Uber ride home yet!
Smith: I can give you a ride
Hood: Yea, no thanks
~Grenier, realizing what’s about to go down, uses all the strength in his MIGHTY CANADIAN LEGS to kick Rhodes away. She staggers into the nearby ropes and ricochets off, right into Grenier’s feet…he kicks her up and over with a Monkey Flip!! Melinda hits with impact…she arches her back while returning to her feet. Grenier manages to get up, slowly…he’s staggering, still dazed from the early onslaught. He spots Melinda and charges forward…she finally sees him coming, but it’s too late…Bob takes her down with a thunderous lariat!! The back of Melinda’s head SMACKS against the ring…the crowd comes alive…Bob is showing life!~
Smith: And just like that Bob is back in it
Hood: Rhodes got fucking greedy…trying to beat Bob that quick
Smith: Well, to be fair she was on quite a roll
Hood: Yea but this is OCW…this isn’t some WEAK ASS FED
~Melinda continues to show tremendous fight…she sits up, looking a little dazed. Bob, being the gentleman that he is, helps Melinda to her feet by grabbing her hair and yanking her up…he hoists her over his shoulder, much like a friend would do when carrying a drunk cohort back to the car from the bar. He slams her into the corner. Grenier raises his right hand and shows a flat, opened palm…he rears back and chops Melinda right in the throat!! Rhodes staggers forward, coughing. Bob stalks Melinda from behind…he hooks her arms in the double under hook position…lifts her up and dumps her on her head with a Tiger Suplex!! Grenier chooses not to bridge into a pin, instead he gets back to his feet while Melinda rolls onto her side, momentarily incapacitated~
Smith: Ouch…right on her head
Hood: Bob establishing his dominance now…welcome to OCW, kid!
Smith: She may be new…but she’s no kid
Hood: Pssh…says who? YOU?
Smith: Says her resume and profile
Hood: Nobody actually READS that stuff
~Grenier hooks Melinda around the waist and begins the process of a Dead Lift German…Melinda gets halfway up before throwing back elbows! They connect! Bob’s grip weakens…his legs loosen…Melinda breaks free…she hesitates, rubbing the back of her head and neck…she then sprints for the ropes…she bounces off and lunges at Grenier…but Bob catches Melinda and throws her across the ring with an overhead belly to belly!!! Melinda’s body smacks into the canvas and slides near the ropes where she remains, motionless~
Smith: There’s a ton of fight in Melinda Rhodes…the only question is can she sustain it long enough to regain the advantage
Hood: She’s tough…but she’s not Bob Grenier…living in the Canadian woods…drinking gasoline and smoking black tar…dude’s indestructible.
Smith: I think you might be painting a bleaker than necessary picture of the life according to Grenier
Hood: Oh no, if anything I softened it up a bit
~Grenier drags Melinda away from the ropes…he pulls her to her feet by an arm and whips her into the ropes…Rhodes bounces off and runs right into a Bicycle Kick from Grenier!! She turns around, steps into the ropes and staggers back…Grenier hooks her around the waist and drops her with a German Suplex! He bridges into a pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: The Rebel showing tremendous heart kicking out right there…but she’s got to get something going before it’s too late
Hood: You sure that wasn’t some kind of leg spasm?
Smith: It was a kick out, trust me
~Grenier sits up and openly mocks what he thinks was a slow count by Scruff. Scruff stands back…Grenier laughs, stands and pats Scruff on the back – the two are old friends. Grenier hovers back over Rhodes. He snares her thick hair and hooks her in a Front Chancery. He squeezes down, suffocating The Rebel. Rhodes starts to fight back…she throws a few well placed, quick jabs into the kidney area of Bob. Grenier winces…he tries to hold on. Rhodes continues to punch Grenier in the sensitive area. Bob tries to hoist Rhodes up~
Smith: He’s going to try and drop Melinda with Hollinger Park Hangman!
Hood: He better do it before he starts pissing blood
Smith: Yea, those kidney shots are painful and dangerous
~Grenier almost gets Rhodes up…she delivers one final, stiff shot to the kidneys. He drops her. She lands on her feet and delivers a VICIOUS forearm uppercut!! Grenier stumbles into a corner. Rhodes charges in with a clothesline. She whips Grenier out of the corner…he sprints across the ring and hits the ropes…he comes charging off and is met with a picture perfect dropkick right to the face!! Bob falls to the mat, holding both his chin and kidney area. The crowd starts to boo as Rebel gets to her feet. She winces, rubs the back of her neck and then starts yelling obscenities at Bob~
Smith: And The Rebel is back in control…what a turnaround!
Hood: She’s a striking machine…and now Grenier will be pissing blood for WEEKS
Smith: He should probably seek a doctor
Hood: Nah, he’s a Grenier. He’s pissed worse than blood before
Smith: What could possibly be worse than blood filled urination?
Hood: W…
Smith: You know what, don’t answer that
~Rebel reaches down to grab Bob by the head…Grenier kicks his legs up and tries to hook Rhodes in a Triangle! Rhodes lunges toward the mat with a few stiff forearm shots into Bob’s head! This stifles Bob’s submission attempt…his legs flatten back out. Rebel is on her knees, next to Bob…she goes off on the former OCW Champion with a flurry of right hands. Once finished, she grabs a handful of Bob’s hair and talks trash, taunting the legend. The crowd boos~
Smith: She’s definitely not short on attitude
Hood: Or tattoos
Smith: Nothing wrong with a person expressing themselves through body art
Hood: Did I say there was something wrong with it? You named something she had a lot of…and, well, so did I
~Rhodes finishes expressing her views on Bob’s lifestyle and gets him to his feet. Grenier is wobbling in the center of the ring. Melinda leaps up and smacks him in the head with an enziguri. Bob surprisingly remains standing…it’s probably the weakest base for a standing individual you’ve ever seen but, hey…give the guy some credit. Rhodes knees him in the gut and drops him to the mat with an Evenflow DDT!! She rolls Bob over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: And Grenier stays alive…holy smokes, Hood…that was close
Hood: Remind me to never suggest bringing Melinda Rhodes into my bedroom
Smith: Indeed…Grenier made some disparaging remarks about having his way with Melinda when this was all over…probably would like to take those words back
Hood: That or this is just Melinda’s weird way of saying ‘I do’
~Rhodes glares at Scruff. Scruff backs away – he wants no part of The Rebel. Rhodes returns to her feet and yanks Grenier off the mat. She starts to box. A few left jabs bounce Grenier’s head around like a bobble head. She throws a right haymaker! Grenier falls into the corner…he’s starting to bleed from the nose and mouth. He stumbles forward a step, or two and is hit with SHOT IN THE DARK!!! The crowd is stunned!~
Smith: Shot in the Dark!! This is how Rhodes pinned Harold!
Hood: Mother fucker!
Smith: Indeed!
~Grenier is near the ropes and, shockingly, rolls toward the apron. Rhodes scrambles, trying to pull him back into the ring…but it’s too late…he rolls off the apron and splats onto the floor. Rebel is left on all fours, her head between the bottom and middle rope, looking down at a man who is ready to be pinned. She yells “FUCK” and positions back onto her knees~
Smith: She was so close to victory…only to have Grenier roll away
Hood: That’s one of the good things about always being in a substance caused stupor…you do shit like that to survive.
Smith: I wouldn’t know
Hood: Yep and because you wouldn’t know…you would have been pinned like a little bitch
~Grenier reaches up, grasping at the apron cloth. Rhodes stands and heads for the ropes, stepping through them. She is poised, waiting on Grenier. Bob gets to his feet. He looks over at Melinda. Rhodes charges forward with a penalty kick…Grenier, however, ducks and sweeps the leg she’s using as her base!! Melinda’s back SLAMS into the apron. Grenier, still on the floor, scoops Melinda up…lifts her into the suplex position and drops her outside with Hollinger Park Hangman!!! The arena erupts!! Grenier falls to a knee after executing the move. The fans at ringside yell at Bob to get her back into the ring~
Smith: You’d better hurry, Bob! Now’s your chance…get her back in there!
Hood: So a woman shows up with a bunch of tattoos and you actively root against her?
Smith: It’s her attitude…there’s no need for all this…this…rebelliousness!
Hood: I’d take her attitude any day over that gypsy witch Alice Knight!
~Grenier gets to his feet. He grabs Rhodes and tosses her in under the bottom rope. He pauses, leaning against the apron and spitting a wad of blood out of his mouth. The crowd yells at him to get inside the ring. Rhodes is on her back. Grenier crawls into the ring and makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: She kicked out! Bob took too much time!
Hood: That, or, ya know…she’s just really fucking good
Smith: Despite her…rebellious proclivities…I can’t deny the fact that she is talented
~Bob gets to his feet. He blows a blood soaked snot rocket out of each nostril. They splat against the mat. Scruff frowns and moves to get away from them. He pulls Rhodes up and hooks her in the Front Chancery – the prelude to Hollinger Park Hangman. Bob hoists her up into position…Melinda grabs at his nose…Bob yells! He drops Melinda. She lands on her feet behind Bob…she runs for the ropes…she jumps up, springboards off the middle rope and performs a moonsault…Bob catches her!! He stumbles due to the momentum of the move…Rhodes kicks her legs and manages to hook Bob’s head…she gets enough momentum to pull Bob backward and reach her feet…she then drops Grenier with a Reverse DDT!! The crowd is stunned once more…Rebel goes for the pin~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Smith: Again…oh so close!
Hood: You realize how close this ROOKIE is to defeating one of the best we’ve ever had?
Smith: I do
Hood: This fuckin woman is amazing
~Rhodes returns to her feet…she stands back, waiting for Grenier. Bob stumbles to his feet like he’s at the end of a 36 hour bender. He turns around…Rhodes gets into position for Shot in the Dark…she kicks her legs up, but Grenier grabs her by the waist and manipulates her momentum to get her up on his shoulder…he twists her around into position…the crowd rises! He drops her with Hollinger Park Hangman!!! The crowd leaps to their feet…Bob crawls on top of Melinda for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…BOB GRENIER!!!!!
Smith: Wow! He turned a sure loss into a shocking win…Melinda HAD him
Hood: That’s Bob for ya…holy fucking shit
Smith: I’m glad he won…but I am so impressed with Melinda. What a performance
Hood: No shit, man…she’s got the ability…we’ve seen that. Now it’s a question of how long it takes her to adapt to the OCW style
Smith: Indeed
~Grenier gets to his feet. Scruff tries to raise his hand but he tells Scruff he’s okay. He turns to Melinda who is on the mat, beginning to stir. She’s definitely dazed after suffering two Hollinger Park Hangmans~
Smith: I’m surprised she’s already moving…two Hollinger Park Hangmans is enough to send a person to the hospital
Hood: Maybe she has a metal plate in her head
Smith: I don’t think so
~Grenier drops to his knee in front of Melinda. The crowd goes ‘oooohhh’…he’s acting like he’s going to propose~
Smith: What is HE doing?
Hood: I think he’s going to ask her if she’ll be his concubine
Smith: I like Bob but, I mean, c’mon…this is terrible
~Melinda sits up and begins to get an inkling of what’s going on. He lifts her foot and kicks Bob right in the groin!!! Bob falls backward, holding his crotch. Rhodes staggers to her feet and grabs his legs. She quickly and efficiently applies an Elevated Sharpshooter! Bob starts to yell out and reaches for the ropes~
Smith: Oh no! She’s going to hurt Bob if she doesn’t let that go…he’s already been through a grueling affair
Hood: Man I love this woman…no fucks given!
Smith: I understand her machinations but, c’mon, enough is enough!
~Scruff tries to get Melinda off Bob. Grenier tears at the canvas with his nails. He tries to claw his way to the ropes but he can’t, Melinda has it locked in and he isn’t going anywhere. Bob begins to tap furiously~
Smith: Very rarely do you ever see Bob tap…I can only imagine the pain he’s in…we need to get her off him before she tears his knees, his back…breaks his body!
Hood: Man, Bob’s nails look kinda dirty
Smith: That’s the last thing you should be focused on!
~After tapping over and over…Bob’s motions slow. He starts to go limp. His eyes shut..he’s out. Scruff and some OCW personnel plead with Melinda to let go but she will not…she just leans back further and harder~
Smith: We need help out here! C’mon…we need someone to get this woman off our former champion!
Hood: Goodnight, Grenier
~Suddenly, the crowd goes wild! We see Julliet Brooks rush to the ring…she’s got a giant, red welt on her face from earlier. She slides into the ring. Melinda sees her and releases the hold. Melinda pops to her feet…Julliet gets to hers…the two stare one another down~
Smith: Yes Julliet! Way to go!
Hood: She isn’t in the clear yet, Smith
Smith: Melinda’s gonna leave…she’s exhausted no way she’d…
~Before Smith can finish verbalizing his thought, Melinda throws rights and lefts at Brooks. Julliet responds! The two are engaged in an all our brawl!! OCW staff and security rush down…they try to break the two apart. A few reach in and grab Julliet by the feet, as she’s near the ropes. They yank on her, pull her down and out of the ring. Melinda remains in the ring, breathing heavily, staring a hole through Brooks. Julliet looks back up, smiling…she seems to be enjoying the back and forth~
Smith: These two are crazy!
Hood: Crazy for violence…I say let them fight…right fans? LET THEM FIGHT!
~A ‘LET THEM FIGHT’ chant fills the arena. Julliet tries to get back in, but is restrained. Melinda tries to step out of the ring, but is restrained…both competitors are held from tearing each other apart as we start to fade out~
Smith: Well, that’s it for Massacre folks…we’re just about out of time…we hope you enjoyed tonight’s episode. For Hood…I’m Smith saying…so long!
~We fade to black~