OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, December 10th 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida

~It’s another Monday night! Or is it? This feels a lot EARLIER than usual? But, the graphic SAYS Monday Night Massacre…so it’s got to be true, right…RIGHT? Or is it Saturday night? Could it be early Sunday morning? Did we go to work today or did we sit around watching college basketball? Hmm…it sucks getting old. Regardless, Monday Night Massacre is about to start and man, oh, man do we have some shit to figure out. Death March is ONE WEEK away. Holy SMOKES. That means we need to figure out who is fighting with whom and against whom. If that sounds complicated, trust me, it is. With a vacation imminent we can’t waste any time. We sit down and turn on the television ready to indulge in some trash TV. The sweet OCW logo flashes on screen promptly followed by the Monday Night Massacre image. We then cut to the SOLD OUT OCW Arena which is, as always, full of screaming fans!! They are chanting “DEATH MARCH!” These people ain’t no fools. They are fully aware of what’s on the horizon – OCW’s biggest show in history! We finally focus on Smith and Hood who appear ready to do verbal battle~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! As always I am your host Smith and alongside me is Hood

Hood: Is it Death March, yet?

Smith: Almost! Folks we are one week away from the biggest event in company history…tonight will be extremely light on the in ring action but hopefully heavy on the skits, promos, and vignettes.

Hood: That’s been the case lately. Everyone is hustling to get shit sorted before Death March.

Smith: Indeed! It wouldn’t be OCW if over half the roster didn’t wait until the last minute to get their work done! Now, fans, I know the in ring action tonight looks – bad. But, there is a catch

Hood: Shootah, Depth, Loosem, and Puffer all took roids and cocaine before the show?

Smith: Negative. Tonight’s in ring action will be surrounded by a BEAT THE CLOCK stipulation

Hood: BEAT THE COCK?

Smith: BEAT THE CLOCK!

Hood: Whose cock are they beating? I mean, looking at the program I don’t think I’d want any of these wrestlers beating my cock

Smith: CLOCK WITH AN L!

Hood: Oh, cLock…well, why didn’t you say so!

Smith: I did, like five times

Hood: Nah I’m pretty sure you said beat the cock. Should probably reevaluate how you spend your free time, Smith

Smith: I won’t validate that remark by giving it a response. Instead I’ll move forward by explaining what beating the…time means.

Hood: Nobody can beat time, Smith. He’s undefeated

Smith: I…

Hood: And yes, I said he. Call me a misogynist all you want, people! And, while you’re at it, you can beat my cock.

Smith: Just shut up for a second!

~Awkward silence~

Hood: Well this is riveting television

Smith: I thought you were going to say something. Anyway…each match tonight involves a representative from the four Death March team matches. The individual who wins in the quickest amount of time will go on first at Death March. The point of all this being that extra rest will be granted to the superior competitor tonight…IF his team wins and any member from that team survives.

Hood: That sounds way too complicated to me

Smith: Yea, that was a mouthful

Hood: There you go with the cock metaphors again

Smith: Ah! A lot is at stake tonight, folks. So stay tuned as the entire event of Death March will be shaped and finalized by the end of this evening’s event!

Hood: Cock

~We cut backstage to the office of Commissioner Zybala. The man looks agitated and angry about something. His hands are clenched in white knuckles fist as he glares at the camera.~

Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that due to the ruling of soon to be former General Manager Welsh, I unfortunately will NOT be competing at Death March. He cited some bullshit company policy about "management not working with employees." Even though that's been his problem from day one. Not working with his employees, which has garnered much hatred towards his regime.

However, I will be in my teams corner in a managerial aspect, rooting them on and making sure no Welsh fuckary happens.

Enjoy the rest of your show, my dear fans. Also, save your ticket stubs as a reminder that you were at the very last Massacre where Marcus Welsh was General Manager.

~We cut back to the announcer’s table~

Smith: Welsh has ruled Zybala OUT of Death March!

Hood: Well that certainly seems to fuck Amy Jo Smyth over

Smith: Indeed...Zybala will be in his team's corner...but is there a team? So far it seems that it's AJS and nobody else

Hood: AJS is tough, but I don't think she's THAT tough. However...who the fuck is Langston teaming with?

Smith: Excellent question. Welsh seemed to indicate he had signed a few names up for Langston's team last week...yet there's been no announcement. So, as it stands...all we've got is Vincent Langston taking on Amy Jo Smyth

Hood: That would be a pretty badass one on one match

Smith: Yes, Hood...yes it would. Hopefully we find out some answers later tonight...I mean, we kind of have to...Death March is NEXT WEEK. Anyway...it's time for our first Beat the Clock match as Alice Knight makes her in-ring return. She's looking to prove to everyone that her head is a-okay

Hood: I hope she passes out on the way to the ring

Smith: HOOD!

Beat the Clock
Match #1: Time to Beat N/A
Alice Knight (12-4) vs. Shootah (0-2)

~”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy begins to play as the fans turn and cheer the fan favorite in OCW, Alice Knight! Alice seems far less bubbly than usual. She smiles at the fans, but it is very apparent that she is hesitant about being here tonight~

Smith: Alice recently experienced a concussion in her match with Aidan Collins. It does not appear that she’s been able to shake her symptoms.

Hood: Team Maurako is certainly hoping that she’ll be able to recover by Death March. But yeah, it doesn’t like she’s 100% right now.

Smith: There’s not much she can do about this. Marcus Welsh has made it very clear that Alice’s career is in his hands. Tonight, he’s decided that she must risk her health in the ring.

~Alice rolls into the ring and seems to gain a bit of pep. Even though she’s not feeling well, she has a job to do tonight. She rushes to the ropes and heads to the middle turnbuckle and waves to the fans as her music fades out~

Hood: Alice’s opponent tonight, Shootah, isn’t exactly known to be a major threat. In a way, I guess Alice will be able to get a good idea of how she’ll feel at Death March if she’s able to get past him.

~The crowd waits around for Shootah’s music to start playing, but it never starts~

Smith: This is weird. Where is Shootah?

~Just then, Shootah’s lifeless body comes flying out from the back! He lands with a thud as Big Bifford comes out and rubs his hands off on his belly~

Hood: Big Bifford just threw Shootah out from the back and he seems out of it!

~The crowd boos largely as Roach and Aidan Collins follow Bifford out. Shootah slowly gets to his feet, but Roach launches forward and takes his head off with a clothesline! Shootah is now completely out. Aidan, who has a microphone in his hand, seems very pleased with the actions of his Death March team members. He turns towards the ring and addresses Alice~

Aidan Collins: Now, I guess you’re figuring out at this point that you’re not facing Shootah tonight, Alice. That was never the plan. That, to be honest, was just to get your hopes up. Marcus Welsh had a feeling that you wouldn’t show up tonight if he let you know that you were brought here to get your ass kicked by Team Collins!

~Aidan motions for Bifford and Roach to join him as he saunters towards the ring~

Aidan Collins: At this point, you’re probably expecting Brianna Casablancas, Paul Paras, and Mario Maurako to come out and save you…but unfortunately for you, Marcus knew the hotel that they were staying at, so we had Roach go over there before they were supposed to leave and slash their tires! I’m sure they’ll eventually get an Uber…but for now? Alice, you are what we call “totally fucked”!

~Aidan seems to be totally savoring this moment~

Aidan Collins: Maybe those fucknuts should have driven separately or something…but I digress…

~Aidan continues as Roach barks out at the crowd from the inside of his Michael Myers mask~

Aidan Collins: You know, Alice, when I first became acquainted with who you are and how you act, I thought “damn, this bitch is batty”... And you know, I’m not saying that as a bad thing. You’ve clearly connected with our audience, who are all a bunch of rocket scientists and valedictorians.

~Aidan rolls his eyes~

Aidan Collins: But what you’re doing here tonight, Alice? That’s a bit beyond quirky. That’s a bit beyond being unique. Hell, it’s beyond being resilient. What it is, Alice, is goddamn idiotic!

~Aidan, Roach, and Bifford continue to walk down the ramp, now reaching the ringside area. In the ring, Alice stands with her fists balled, expecting this to turn violent. As Aidan continues to speak, Bifford starts walking up the ring steps while Roach slips around to the back of the ring~

Aidan Collins: Since all of our fans are scientists and academics, Alice, I have an experiment for all of us here tonight… What do you think about that?

~Aidan now pulls himself onto the ring apron. Roach and Bifford join him. Alice is now completely surrounded~

Aidan Collins: My scientific question is a simple one. Tonight, we will test to see if a person who is exhibiting concussion problems can be doubly concussed! Let’s fuck her up, boys!

~Aidan throws the mic aside so that Aidan, Bifford, and Roach can all enter the ring at the same time. Roach is the first to charge Alice, but she quickly hip tosses him!~

Smith: It’s an all-out attack on Alice Knight!

~Aidan is the next to reach Alice. He swings a wild right hook, but Alice ducks and slaps him straight across the face! The crowd pops, but Aidan catches her hand when she goes to slap him again…and then Bifford comes out of nowhere and blasts her a good five feet with a giant shoulder block!~

Hood: Yes! Kill her! Maim her!

~Roach, who has gotten back up to his feet, quickly stomps down on the defenseless Knight. Aidan checks his mouth for blood from the stiff slap Alice gave him, before instructing Roach and Bifford to pick Alice up~

Smith: It’s a three-on-one attack. Alice is absolutely defenseless.

Hood: Wait, what’s that?

~Aidan pulls an object out from his sleeve and extends it out to reveal a police baton~

Smith: It’s already three-on-one! He can kill her with that thing!

~Aidan pulls his arm back, ready to swing…~

Hood: The lights just went out!

Smith: What is going on?!

~The lights turn back on as “Bleed It Out” by Linkin Park hits the arena PA and the crowd explodes as James Raven comes running out from the back!~

Smith: I can’t believe it! That’s James Raven, the People’s G.O.A.T.!

Hood: He looks like he’s come out to save Alice Knight!

Smith: I thought the rumors of him joining Team Maurako were ridiculous, but here he is! I guess people online were right for once!

~James climbs in the ring and walks up to Aidan. The two seem to exchange heated words~

Hood: I always thought Raven and Collins were best friends. The fuck is this guy doing? You can't talk to King Infinity like that! How dare you disrespect the FACE of OCW!

~Aidan throws the baton aside and quickly grabs Raven by the arm… and pulls him in for a hug!~

Smith: Oh, for Christ’s sake!

~Aidan and James laugh loudly as the crowd boos them. Behind them, Roach has pulled Alice away from Big Bifford and is choking her out with a sleeper hold. When Aidan sees this, he walks up and watches as Alice seems to be slipping out of consciousness. With her completely being handled by Roach, Aidan rears back and slaps her straight across the face with an open hand! Roach releases his hold and Alice falls straight forward onto the mat.~

Hood: Seems like Aidan didn’t like getting slapped by Alice earlier!

Smith: This is really messed up. Alice is really injured in there.

~Aidan is calling the shots in the ring, instructing Bifford to pick up the mostly non-responsive Alice. Bifford takes Alice and hoists her straight above his head in a full gorilla press. Bifford throws her forward…and James Raven swoops in and hits her with a huge RKO!~

Hood: Flight of the Raven!

~At this point, medical staff and the officiating crew come running out from the back. Aidan, James, Bifford, and Roach flee the ring, seemingly completely pleased with their actions.~

Smith: What a heinous attack. With Alice completely alone, Team Collins completely overwhelmed her.

Hood: They even gave her a moment of false hope with James Raven running out…and he was the one to hit the finishing blow! Aidan Collins did not lie to us when he said he had something big in the works tonight. Team Maurako is going to have to go through Big Bifford, Roach, and The Tribe at Death March!

Smith: Aidan Collins just showed that he will go to any lengths to win…I just hope Alice is okay.

Hood: That makes one of us. I hope she's a vegetable...and not the cool kind of vegetable. I'm talking cauliflower

Smith: Folks it's a rough scene out here. Let's head to the back while Alice is being tended to. I don't see how she can compete at Death March after this. It appears as though Team Collins has already eliminated one member from Team Maurako

Hood: Yea and Mario is such an old, unlikable son of a bitch that he won't be able to find a replacement. He's worse than a larper trying to find a date for Prom. All he hears is 'no, no, no, no...fuck no."

Smith: I wouldn't know anything about that...anyway, backstage we go

~Slowly cutting in is the Bad Ass James Kelloggs, OGDA’s personal interviewer as he’s getting ready to do an interview with OCW’s very own SuperHero Champion, OGDA! He is putting the final touches on his tie in the mirror inside his very own dressing room buried somewhere inside the OCW arena, and by own dressing room, I mean he has a childs playhouse in the hallway outside of the guys locker room. At least it’s a private room!~

~His black suit, black shirt and black tie with his highly polished wingtips has him looking like a million bucks. Only one last thing to do before heading on out to work tonight is to spray himself down with some AXE body spray.~

“Fuck yeah!” James says once he sprays himself down. “James you magical beast, you gunna slay some pussy tonight!”

~Sure enough, in the hallway is this playhouse and the door to that opens and James comes strutting out feeling like a million bucks. Sporting a ear to ear grin and a limp in his walk, he heads towards the interview area where later tonight, he will interview the OCW SuperHero Champion, Leader of Team OGDA, OGDA!~

~We cut backstage where AKB is standing by with a report~

AKB: Alpha Kenny Body back here with a special report. Did you know that Tinder has upgraded the ability to…

~A voice off camera is heard telling AKB to shut up. AKB rolls his eyes~

AKB: Fine! In OTHER news…it appears as though Alice Knight has aggravated her concussion symptoms. The Knife Man was heard telling someone that she’s in bad shape and he can’t, with a clear conscience, clear her to compete. Now, we’ve seen The Knife Man overruled in the past but given how Alice looked when she came back here…I really think this is it.

~The crowd is heard booing and sounding sad~

AKB: Team Maurako is fucked, it appears. That’s what happens when you side with someone that must be ‘handled with care’. Back to you guys!

Smith: She doesn’t need to be handled with care! She’s as tough as they come!

Hood: Oh please…her head is about as sturdy as bucket of ice cream that’s been left in the sun for half an hour

Smith: Well, calm down…everyone calm down. We don’t know FOR SURE that she’s out. There is hope

Hood: Hold onto that rope, Smith. Right up until the point they lasso it around your neck and hang you out to dry

Smith: *whimper* Folks, it’s time for our next Beat the Clock match as Vincent Langston has…well, he has no mark to beat.

Hood: Yea man…guy will DEFINITELY set the time to beat. I guarantee it!

Smith: Let’s head down to ringside

Beat the Clock
Match #2: Time to Beat N/A
Vincent “The Legend” Langston © (11-1) vs. John E Depth (0-2)

~The crowd isn’t quite as hyped as they were earlier. This whole Alice Knight debacle has them concerned. Is she dead? Is she retarded (moreso than usual, anyway)? Will she ever compete again? If she’s truly incapacitated, who will look after her cats? The ants, they will be okay. The owls, they can fly. But those cats. WHO IS GOING TO LOOK AFTER THE CATS? We then realize that was then and this is now. Vincent Langston is up to set a superior time. Belvedere clears his throat which distracts the fans from their momentary melancholy~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is the second match in a four match BEAT THE CLOCK SERIES. The current time to beat is - . Introducing first, currently in the ring…John E Depth!

~Depth is looking as sleazy and greasy as ever. His mustache is exceptionally thick this evening. He’s got a lollipop in his mouth. We can’t see the color but if we had to guess we’d go with…orange~

Smith: I imagine Langston will have no trouble setting the time to beat

Hood: That’s what happens when you send an Alice Knight out to do a wrestler’s job

Smith: It wasn’t her fault! She was screwed!

Hood: I see it as charity. They are helping Alice realize she’s in the wrong fucking profession

Belvedere: And, his opponent…

~"I Am Legend" echoes through the arena, followed by the build-up of the music. The claps and heavy beat are joined by lasers and flashing lights as the music blasts out. Vincent Langston walks out on the stage, a stoic look on his face as he walks towards the ring. He jumps over the ropes, lands in the ring, and lets out a loud yell to the crowd, before turning back to his corner~

Belvedere: From Washington, DC…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is the current OCW Savage Champion…he is the holder of the Oh Shit Contract…he is Vincent “The Legend” Langston!!!

~Langston unhooks the Savage Title from around his waist and hands it to Belvedere, who is exiting the ring. He looks across the ring at Depth~

Smith: And the bell is about to ring. Given what’s to come I’m sure Langston is feeling the pressure to set a really, really quick time

Hood: Yea there’s no question that CJ and OGDA will win. What we’re all waiting to find out is how fast

Smith: Indeed

~Depth puffs his chest out. He is showing mucho bravado in the face of OCW’s Savage Champion. Scruff looks at Depth…Depth says he’s ready. Scruff looks at Langston…Langston nods, acknowledging that he’s ready. Scruff turns and calls for the bell! It rings and the clock starts~

Smith: Here we go!! Langston needs a quick time

Hood: That he does…if I were Depth, just to be a dick, I’d run around the ring

Smith: That is an option

~Depth charges at Langston. Langston charges at Depth. Langston leaps into the air with a running knee. Depth dodges it!! The crowd gasps. Langston runs into the corner but manages to hold on before slamming into the buckles. He, too, looks surprised that the knee missed. The most surprised, however, is Depth~

Smith: Langston missed! That might cost him!

Hood: There is no margin for error in these matches. Guy needs to turn the fuck around and level Depth

Smith: Depth looks like he’s seen a ghost

Hood: Yea, well, I think he thought…like we all did, that he was going to get his head blown off

Smith: Instead, he remains alive in this match as the clock moves beyond fifteen seconds!

~Langston turns around. Depth’s back is facing him. Langston charges forward. Depth, hearing footsteps, turns around and is turned inside out with a lariat!!! Depth hits the ground hard! Langston reaches down, snaring Depth by the hair~

Smith: We’ve eclipsed thirty seconds! Langston had better hurry!

Hood: Man this is like time trial shit on Mario Kart. I’m surprised this is so intense

Smith: Well, Hood, there’s a lot on the line. And Langston isn’t fighting Depth…he’s fighting CJ and OGDA

~Langston has Depth on his feet. He hooks him and delivers SCARS OF WAR!! Scruff slides in with the count. The clock is at 42 seconds~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…at a time of forty-six seconds…VINCENT “THE LEGEND” LANGSTON!!!!!

Smith: Forty-Six?!

Hood: Somebody back there is milking the clock! Is Zybala on the controls?!

Smith: I don’t know…but that extra second could cost Team Langston…if he’s got a team, that is

~Langston's theme music continues to play as he stands over the body of John D Depth. Langston doesn't appear to be leaving the ring. He looks and yells something to the side, and a nervous attendant quickly tosses him a mic.~

Smith: Well this should be interesting. Langston doesn't talk to the fans that much.

Hood: It's in the crowd's best interest to just agree with whatever he says. We don't need any more lawsuits.

Vincent Langston: Ever since Death March got announced, I have been anticipating a real fight, one of the best I could ever expect from this company. But one by one, people have been disappointing me. Solomon Cain, Saxon Rowe, Vossler, they were all useless. Melinda Rhodes, my former partner, can't follow through on her promises, and her husband gets tossed out with her. Welsh tries to set me up with jobbers like this piece of trash and they get taken out as well. It has felt like this match has been cursed.

~Depth makes a small motion of his hands. It might have been involuntary. Langston doesn't care. He picks Depth up and launches him over the ropes and out of the ring, before going right back to talking.~

Vincent Langston: Now Zybala is saying that he's off the team too. I know he’s placing the blame at our GM’s feet. However, in my opinion the coward decided he had better things to do. At this point it looks like it's down to me…and Amy Jo Smyth. If it has to be a one-on-one fight, I'm good with that. Because I have no problems continuing to do what I've done since I came to OCW: destroy the opposition. Two titles and an Oh Shit! Contract later, you'd better damn believe I'm proving to be The Legend. Winning Death March will be one more trophy in the case, and to make the finals, I promise to break Amy Jo Smyth in two and leave her unconscious in..

~A raucous reaction is heard from the fans behind the announce table. Our view takes a quick jump, focusing on Smith and Hood. Hood has a ‘What the fuck’ look on his face while Smith looks around. A person from the crowd hops over the barricade into the ringside area. It doesn’t take long for us to realize who this person is~

Smith: It’s Amy Jo Smyth! She’s standing right next to me!

Hood: Calm down before you ruin a perfectly good pair of tighty whities

~If AJS notices the announcers she’s not showing it. Her attention is focused solely on Vincent Langston. Langston, with his back to the announce team, finally turns around. He spots AJS looking up into the ring. The crowd is going wild. An “AJS” chant starts to fill the OCW Arena proving that these fans are very familiar with Amy Jo Smyth~

Smith: Looks like Smyth is answering the challenge!

Hood: What challenge? The challenge of not getting broken in two? She could have done that by staying in the back!

~After a quick moment of listening to the crowd, Amy Jo Smyth rushes forward, slides into the ring, and stands. She positions herself across from Langston, challenging him to come at her. Langston is smiling. It is not a pleasant smile.~

Vincent Langston: So you want to be eliminated early like everyone else? That can be arranged..

~Langston drops the mic, as Smyth prepares herself to fight. However, Langston steps back instead against the ropes, raising both hands back towards the crowd behind him. Suddenly two figures come out of the crowd and jump over the barricade, shoving past security and rolling into the ring on either side of Langston.~

Smith: What the hell? Security!

Hood: Wait a second, Smith, I don't think those are just fans!

~Both men throw their hoods off, revealing their faces, as the crowd begins to explode as "Hell Yeah!" by Zebrahead begins to play. Crazy Chris and Dangerous Dan step forward, both looking hyped, as the Danger Boiz make their first appearance in an OCW ring in some time.~

Smith: The Danger Boiz are back!!

Hood: Wow, that's the team that Welsh got for Langston? Nice upgrade!

Smith: But now Smyth is outnumbered!

~The Danger Boiz move to either side of the ring, sizing up Amy Jo Smyth, who hasn't backed down. She's still willing to fight, even if she's on her own. But then, the lights go out.~

Hood: Dammit I hate when this happens!

Smith: Help! Something touched me!

Hood: That was me, you idiot!

Smith: Wait, where's my wallet?

Hood: ...

~"Rise" by State of MINE begins to play, and the lights come back up. The ring appears to have been filled with fog and is dissipating to the outside. Now standing next to a surprised-looking Smyth is Zolton!!~

Smith: Another returning star! We haven't seen Zolton in months!

Hood: Wait, the Danger Boiz are with Langston and Zolton is with Amy Jo Smyth? What world are we on again?

~Smyth is still focused on Langston, wanting him to come on. Zolton has on his arrogant smirk as he looks at both Smyth and Langston. Langston meets his gaze, and gives him a nod and a smirk right back. Zolton then strikes, nailing Smyth in the back of the head!~

Hood: Okay that makes more sense.

Smith: Team Langston is complete, and Smyth is in a lot of trouble!

~Smyth pulls herself up, getting ready to try and fight off all four wrestlers. The Danger Boiz are keeping their distance, but Langston is moving in to join Zolton in a beatdown. Langston and Zolton are putting the boots to Smyth while the Danger Boiz look on, hesitant to join in~

Smith: We must all remember that Welsh signed the Danger Boiz onto Team Langston. I'm sure they are about as uneasy with this as anyone with a conscience

Hood: What's there to be uneasy about? CLASSIC OCW, BABY

Smith: This just isn't fair! Amy Jo Smyth, one of the greatest wrestlers in the world, signs up to compete at Death March and this is how we treat her? It's deplorable!

Hood: Blah blah blah

~They crowd is beginning to boo heavily now. Fans are gulping what remains of their drinks so they can throw trash into the ring~

Smith: Total decimation. Poor Amy Jo Smyth...we need some help out here!

Hood: Nah, it's all good

~"Raining Blood" by Slayer hits! The crowd explodes!! They all turn towards the entrance to see HELLRAVEN appear!! A "RAVEN!" chant sounds out. Langston and Zolton cease their stomping. They turn and see the kid heading down the ramp, toward the ring. Langston smiles and urges her to come further. Raven stops at the bottom of the ramp. The Danger Boiz look around, feeling as though something is about to happen. Zolton turns back toward AJS and throws a few more cheap kicks~

Smith: It's Hellraven!! We haven't seen her since Team Rhodes disbanded

Hood: I thought she was MIA...well if she wants to get her ass kicked, step right up, kid!

Smith: She may be young, Hood. But she isn't stupid

~Raven cracks a smile. Her music ends. "We Will Rise" by Arch Enemy blasts through the Arena sound system. The fans are all like "OH SHIT!" Hellraven's half smile grows until a full on grin. Out from behind the curtain we see Jacqui Monroe!! The former Ascension champion. The UNDEFEATED Ascension Champion!! She comes out with an unknown female at her side. Langston, for the first time, seems a bit unsure. He taps Zolton, who has laid a few more kicks into AJS. Zolton turns around and sees the three women approaching the ring. The crowd chants "HOLY SHIT" for Monroe's return~

Smith: It's Jacqui Monroe!! I can't believe it! I thought she was retired!

Hood: She should be retired!! What's she doing here?! Security! Someone has escaped the old folks home!

~Hellraven and the unknown female rush toward the ring and split. They grab the Danger Boiz by the legs and yank them out of the ring!! Hellraven hits a high knee, knocking Chris dizzy. The unnamed female delivers a roundhouse kick, knocking Dan loopy. Monroe sprints forward and slides into the the ring, under the bottom rope. Langston darts out of the way as Monroe flies through the air and SPEARS Zolton!! The big man staggers back and falls through the ropes, to the floor. Hellraven and the unnamed female slide into the ring. Suddenly, Langston is outnumbered~

Smith: And now the tables have turned! How does it feel, Legend?

Hood: Get out of there, Vincent! Those women will tear you apart!

~Langston, surrounded by Monroe, Hellraven, and this unnamed, but extremely talented looking female, begins to offer a compromise. He tries to keep them at arm's length while nearing the ropes. Behind him, however, we see AJS rise to her feet. She appears pissed off. Langston backs into AJS. His eyes widen. He turns around and is met with a flying knee to the chin!!! Langston stumbles backwards and, like Zolton, he falls through the ropes, hitting the apron before landing on the floor. The fans are going wild! The Danger Boiz help Langston to his feet. Zolton appears next to them. Zolton looks ready to get back into the ring, but Langston holds him back. The crowd begins to boo~

Smith: Oh come on! It's a fair fight and you want to leave?!

Hood: Save it for Death March, gentlemen. No need to give this shit away for free

Smith: My oh my how the tune as changed

~AJS looks ready to leap over the top rope but she's held back by the other three women. Langston throws his hands at the four women inside the ring before turning and heading up the ramp, toward the back. Zolton, Dan, and Chris all accompany him. The crowd continues to boo. Trash is thrown at these men until the disappear behind the curtain~

Smith: The Legend's true colors are showing!

Hood: Oh fuck off. The man is no coward, as you suggest. He's smart, he's calculating. They've been thrown here, Smith. It's time to formulate a new gameplan

Smith: Yea, right

~Once the situation has been defused, Hellraven is seen motioning to a nearby ring technician, to the effect of being given a microphone. It does not take more than a few seconds for her wish to be granted, and she is just as quick to bring the microphone to her lips and address the crowd~

Hellraven: Now that we done dealt with that bullshit...it's time for some real talk.

~This gets a moderate yet undeniably positive reaction from the stands, which Raven talks over:~

Hellraven: Now, if y'all ain't been sleepin' under a rock, y'all done seen what happened with Melinda Rhodes a couple weeks back...

~A mixed reaction, which Raven gestures down:~

Hellraven: Nah...nah...she done good. She done stuck by what she believed in, no matter what. I respect the shit outta that. You go, girl!

~Raven's words manage to make the reaction more unanimous, and the blonde can be seen smiling about this as she proceeds~

Hellraven: Only one problem, though... There was this one li'l rookie chick on Melinda's team that done find herself up shit creek without a paddle...

~A sympathetic groan emerges from the stands, bringing a grave nod from Raven~

Hellraven: I ain't gone lie. I done get a li'l antsy 'bout it. 'Specially once folk started runnin' they mouths 'bout that I ought'a be team captain. Y'all for real? Me? What, y'all lose y'all's shit or somethin'?

~These harsh words stifle what was becoming a huge roar at the mention of Raven as team captain. Seeing that the youngster does not share their excitement, however, the crowd quickly simmer down, allowing Raven to continue~

Raven: Nah, fam – I weren't 'bout to let this team have no punk-ass rookie for a cap'n. An' I wer'n't 'bout to throw in no towel, neither. So I done what people like me do best – I done thought on my feet. You ain't come from where I come from without knowin' how to look after yourself and work 'round shit – an' that's just what I done did.

~The youth turns around to gesture to the three women behind her~

Raven: Now, I ain't know a whole lotta people in the sport. I ain't one o' them people that rocks up to like, Artemis Kaiser or Gaia Galanos or some shit and goes 'hey, y'all wanna team up?'

~Behind the rookie, Jacqui Monroe can be seen openly chuckling at this comment, only for her expression to become one of flattered surprise as Raven adds. We see AJS lean back in a corner, rotating her shoulder as she's obviously feeling some effects from the attack she suffered moments earlier~

Hellraven: Good thing the one person I DONE know is one of the best 'rasslers I ever seen in the ring!

~The crowd pops huge for this assessment of Jacqui M – a cheer which doubles as an acknowledgment of just how surprising and pleasing her presence at the venue this evening is. Raven waits patiently for this to subside, then promptly hands the microphone over to the older woman~

Hellraven: So, Coach...wanna tell 'em folk who you are?

~Somewhat to the rookie's surprise, Monroe is quick to pick up the mic, and just as quick to reply~

Jacqui M: Nope.

~Raven looks even more surprised at this, but only until her mentor speaks again~

Jacqui M: I don't need to tell these folk who I am. These folk know who the fuck I am!

~Another huge cheer corroborates this statement, as the announcers remind viewers at home of just what Jacqui Monroe has accomplished at OCW~

Smith: Jacqui Monroe was one of the biggest stars OCW had in 2017. She was the undefeated Ascension champion when the company went on hiatus last year. A lot of people thought she was bound for the OCW Title scene

Hood: I certainly did...she scored a pin over CJ O'Donnell!

Smith: Indeed...had OCW remained open a little longer we might be talking about Jacqui Monroe's Hall of Fame odds instead of Matt Meyhu's

Hood: WHOA! You go too far

~The duo quickly falls silent, however, as Jacqui firmly adds~

Jacqui M: Don't get used to it, though. I'm still retired. The kid just needed some help, and hey, what are coaches for, am I right?

~Another huge ovation erupts at this, as the camera catches that rarest of sights – Raven expressing an emotion other than anger or defiance. The youth looks unabashedly touched at her mentor's words, as Monroe herself goes on~

Jacqui M: So, yeah. When the kid told me she had no one else to turn to...I wasn't about to leave her hanging. She annoys the shit out of everyone who meets her, but she ain't a bad kid all things considered. So when she asked, I had to say yes. And once my mind was made up, I knew we needed some extra backup. Which is where this bitch comes in. You wanna introduce yourself?

~The other woman, however, disappoints the expectant audience by waving off the microphone proferred to her, forcing Jacqui to continue the address herself~

Jacqui M: Guess she's feeling a little shy. But trust me – this chick's the real deal. She wouldn't be here otherwise.

~The crowd give a small cheer to acknowledge the mystery woman's presence, as the former OCW Ascension Champion concludes~

Jacqui M: Now...you take the three of us PLUS this badass bitch Amy Jo Smyth and you go from a team in peril to, arguably the baddest team at Death March!

~At this, the arena finally erupts, making it impossible for any of the three women in the ring to get a word in over the deafening roar. When – a long moment later – the noise finally dies down, Raven is holding the mic once again. The youth wastes no time sending the crowd into a frenzy again as she announces~

Hellraven: That's right, motherfuckers! TEAM HELLBITCHES 'bout to rock all y'all's asses!

~It is on a shot of Raven holding her arm up in triumph as she soaks in the cheers – even as the three older women look a bit dubious about the choice of team name – that the camera begins to pan away from the ring, giving the duo of announcers room to comment on what just transpired.~

Smith: And there you have it!! Vincent Langston's team consisting of Zolton, Dangerous Dan, and Crazy Chris will take on a team comprised of Hellraven, Jacqui Monroe, Amy Jo Smyth and...a female I've never seen before

Hood: Yea, who the fuck is that woman?!

Smith: She has chosen to remain anonymous

Hood: And just how in the fuck is that fair?

Smith: It's her choice, Hood. We can't MAKE her talk. But, trust me, if she wants to win Death March she'll have to do plenty of talking between now and then

Hood: This feels like a setup...I think Langston is walking into a trap! Can he really trust those Danger Boiz? You saw them...they wouldn't touch Amy Jo Smyth. Fucking hell...those four women are going to win, aren't they? AHH!

Smith: Calm down, Hood. But, yes, I hope all four of those women advance into the main event. They deserve it after everything that team has been through

Hood: I need a drink!

Smith: We're barely halfway through the show, calm down

~Walking onto the set that is all set up for any and all interviews today is the Bad Ass James Kelloggs. With last week’s battle royal in the rear view mirror, James is back on the job. Who’re is already on set and is looking through her phone as she sips on lemon water. James walks up to her as she is standing next to this cart that has water and breath savers and what not that she and James might need during the night. Wouldn’t want one to lose their voices~

“How ya doing Who’re!” James says as he walks up to the cart and pour himself a glass of lemon water. Who’re doesn’t answer. She gives him a quick look in disgust. James takes a sip of the lemon water as he’s looking at her, thinking that they are on the same level since they kinda do the same job.

James smiles. “Sup babe?”

Who’re sighs and lowers her phone. “Don’t ever call me babe. I’m not one of your play things and never will be. I find you a disgusting little boy and god knows what kind of diseases you have. You’re gross. Go away.”

James takes another sip and smiles. “Bae! We’re working together tonight…”

“Hold it! Wait! Let me correct you right there! We’re not working together. Not now, not ever! You just interview that meat head OGDA and that is all. You’re an ameuter at best. I’m the professional here. I went to school for this. You are, much like your so called wrestling career, nothing but a after thought. You! Why, you just come up..” Who’re says as she looks James up and down. “Short.”

~James tightens the grip on the glass, but he remains calm. James continue to smile.~

“Bae! I can tell that you’re really turned on to be working with me tonight. I can smell it. But we have to be professional for the next couple of hours, so please, keep your hands to yourself and if you’re a good little girl, then maybe you’ll get a tummy full of Kelloggs, the perfect midnight snack!”

Who’re covers her mouth. “I think I just threw up a little! Get away from me! You creep!”

~Who’re quickly leaves the interview area as James sips his lemon water, still smiling watching Who’re walk away in her tight little dress……~

Smith: Poor Who'Re...she's simply trying to do her job

Hood: Man I hope Sugar doesn't find out she's wasting time AND money by talking to that guy.

Smith: I'd almost forgotten about Sugar Valentine

Hood: How could you forget about Sugar Valentine? He's the protector of the women's locker room! Without him who knows what these females would be up to!

Smith: Yea, right

~”Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers blares out across the arena. The crowd doesn’t react in any particular way: At this point, no one knows how they actually feel about Mack O’Connor. Either way, Mack O’Connor steps out onto the stage wearing a leather jacket over a black wife beater and jeans. He doesn’t pay any attention to the lack of response from the crowd, instead walking down the ramp to the ring. He slides in and wastes no time calling for a microphone. Mike Michaels, OCW’s microphone guy, throws a microphone in. Mack catches it, and he begins to speak without hesitation~

Mack: I have some shit to talk about. So let’s just get to it.

~The audience doesn’t respond either way.~

Mack: Yes, I lead my Death March team in an attack against OGDA this past Monday. Was it a surprise? To most? Yes. I know some would like reasons, but all I can say is that obligations are obligations.

~Mack takes a moment to shift his focus~

Mack: But that aside… What I’d mainly like to talk about is the motivation for my team going into Death March. Seems like there has been a lot of confusion. Seems that a lot of overly sensitive people have taken issue with my team. So, I thought I’d clarify. What was the motivation for recruiting these three men to my team?

~Mack strolls around the ring for a moment~

Mack: I think it ultimately comes down to one thing: These guys all represent one thing. What exactly is that one thing? Hard to put it into words… But they’re all fighters. They’re all warriors. And as a unit, we all have never gotten along or seen eye to eye. No no, we have not… For one, there’s PerZag. My first interaction with PerZag was when I pinned him to win the OCW World Championship. In record time, not to mention… But that aside, I knew PerZag was a warrior. And I know he has something to prove. So I brought him in. Bob Grenier? He’ll never admit it, but the man is literally alive because I sacrificed my chance at winning the World Title. I never asked for anything in return, and I never will. But he and I have gone to war. We have destroyed each other. So I know what he’s capable of. So of course I’m going I’m bringing him in. Then Chad Vargas? Of course I’m asking Vargas. I don’t have any friends in this company, but the closest thing to a friend would be fuckin’ Vargas. He got a rough deal with his match against Meyhu, so I think he deserves another shot. So there’s my team.

~Mack pauses, smiling~

Mack: Team OCW. Or as Dean liked to say: OG OCW. And what is OG OCW? What does that mean? If you’re a thick-minded blogger, you’d think it was some sort of stubborn latch on to a glorious past. And of course, like most bloggers, that is incorrect. Each man on Team OCW loves this company. They’ve fought to keep the integrity of this company alive. We might not be the nicest or most delicate men in the business, but every day we put our bodies on the line for this company. We welcome the new breeds who bring something to the table. We welcome the Max Shades of the world, the Damien Ks, the Ed Houstons. The Vincent Langstons, the Mike Harrisons, and the OGDAs of the world… Hell, even the Mike Zybalas of the world. All people who bring quality to this arena. All here to raise the bar.

~Mack lets out a small laugh~

Mack: We all welcome new talent. We crave new challenges and creating new legacies. It’s not about reliving the past, dear blogger. It’s about preventing this company from being a daycare center. The fragile personalities that give this place a bad name. Josie Barnes. Lukas Emery. Slappy McJizz. The list goes on and on. Children who make the rest of us look bad. Hell, I make fun of Melinda Rhodes and she lashes out, calls me a sexist, bitches to management, and ends up getting the boot. I’m no fan of CJ O’Donnell… But when I made fun of him, he gave me one of the hardest fuckin’ fights of my life. He didn’t moan to management about mean I was or how his feelings were hurt. Or did he? Maybe, maybe not.

~Mack smiles again~

Mack: Let me take my own story when I first came to OCW. Immediately I began hearing the great names of OCW past and present. Scott Syren. Lurrr. Big Bifford. Danny B. Dangerous Dan. Chad Vargas. Bob Grenier. MJ Bell. Alice Knight. Amber Ryan. PerZag. The names go on and on. Know whose name I didn’t hear? Brianna Casablancas. Hell, I thought she was a newcomer when she joined up this year. For someone who likes to criticize about being nostalgic, you do like to boast about your past… An undefeated streak? Great accomplishment. No doubt. And you seem to be very proud of that Central Title win. A title you held for what? Just a month or so, if I recall? Then it appears you just up and vanished. Just up and left. I can only speculate why someone such as yourself would suddenly leave, especially while holding onto a title. Maybe you do have more in common with Josie Barnes and Melinda Rhodes than we all think?

~Mack laughs~

Mack: But back to me… You bragged about yours, so I’ll brag about mine… Within a single month of joining this company, I held two championships. In one night, I beat Chad Vargas, Dangerous Dan, Alice Knight, and PerZag. Four OCW greats, one night. I held both the now defunct TransAtlantic Championship and the OCW World Championship. Sure… TransAtlantic would fade into obscurity, and I’d late lose the World belt to an OCW Hall of Famer. But at least I’d later become OCW Savage Champ, and your reigning Paradigm Champion which I have defended flawlessly. Not to mention, I’m a Hall of Famer, too. Not to brag or anything.

~Mack pauses, and shrugs~

Mack: But hey, maybe I wouldn’t have accomplished all of this if you were around, my dear blogger. According to you, all of us complainers joined while you were at your prime. And the only reason why we succeeded was because you left, correct? You and your precious Central Title would have prevented us all from moving on up… I’ve said some dumb shit in my life, but I have never said something as stupid as that.

~Mack laughs to himself~

Mack: I shouldn’t be surprised you’d have an emotional reaction. Seeing as how we wish to improve OCW, of course you’d feel threatened. Of course you would feel the need to start hashing away on your blog. Some might say I’m doing the same thing now: Reacting to your words. And they’d be correct. However, while you were clearly insulted or annoyed, I couldn’t be happier. I was looking for the next piece of trash to take out… Already tossed Hernandez aside, and Rhodes took herself out to the curb. So if somehow you manage to slip by Collins, Raven, Bifford, or Roach, which is very unlikely, I look forward to seeing you in that final match. I know I’ll be there. Will you?

~”Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers blares across the arena. Mack smiles, tosses the mic back to Mike Michaels, and makes his way back up the ramp~

Smith: Strong words by Mack O'Connor

Hood: "Strong Words by Mack O'Connor"...could you BE any more generic?

Smith: Sorry...just doing my job! Brianna is back and she's already getting under people's skin

Hood: It's funny...we view Team 2015...Team Mack as this veteran team. Yet they were all rookies when Brianna was main eventing around here. She is a really interesting case

Smith: Indeed she is...she was on track to achieving legendary status before exiting the company under dubious circumstances. Had she stuck around she'd likely be right up there with Mack O'Connor, Chad Vargas, TIO, PerZag, Grenier, Alice Knight and so on and so forth

Hood: Yep...she's like that great rookie running back. Guy is going to be a legend and then, for whatever reason, just stops playing.

Smith: Well she's back now and she has an opportunity to right all those wrongs.

~Backstage where The Bad Ass James Kelloggs is standing by, atop of his step stool with a mic in his hand~

James “Good evening wrestling fans! It is time for your favorite wrestler in OCW! It’s time for your favorite champion in OCW!”

~James cups his hand to his ear.~

James “What’s that? That’s right Rainbow Warriors! It’s time! IT’S OGDA TIME!”

~OGDA walks in with the OCW Superhero championship around his waist and Spartacus in his arms.~

James “WHOOOO!!!!! OGDA! How is it going Champ?”

~OGDA shields Spartacus from James as his whooo might scare him.~

OGDA “Easy Mister Kelloggs, Spartacus isn’t ready for the whoos.”

James “Sorry Best. Firstly, I want say that while your match last week against Andrea Hernandez didn’t end as you might have hoped. It looks like you have your team all ready to go.”

OGDA “It appears that way Mister Kelloggs. It’s true that I am bummed that I didn’t get to finish that match against Miss Hernandez, I want to take this time right now and tell Miss Hernandez that after Death March, we can finish what we started, hopefully without that meanie, that bully Mister O’Conner and friends getting in the way and breaking up what was going to be the best wrestling match of the night.”

James “Now before we talk about O’Connor and tonight’s match. How do you feel about Andrea Hernandez being on Team OGDA for Death March?”

OGDA “I feel happy! I know right this second, I don’t look very happy about this, but trust me, under this scowl is a smile. Miss Hernandez is very talented in that ring. She is a winner, a hard nose, hard working gal and I wouldn’t want anyone else on my team. Along with Mister HotStuff and Mister Tuner, the OCW Tag Team Champions. We have the bestest team heading into Death March. Trust me Mister Kelloggs. One of us, at the end of the night, will raise the Mister Zybala flag and claim victory and see the OCW do away with Mister Welsh! Who, doesn’t seem to be my buddy anymore.”

James “You should be very, very satisfied with Andrea on your team. She has really nice ass….”

Management (Off camera) “JAMES!”

James “Assets and a skill set that she brings to this team. You won’t be disappointed. I know I wouldn’t be.”

~James smiles and winks at the camera. OGDA just lets that go over his head. Or just didn’t catch it~

James “Now you were set to face Mack O’Connor here tonight.”

OGDA “Yes!”

James “He laid out the challenge last week to you.”

OGDA “Yes!”

James “In a softcore cuddle match.”

~OGDA looks at James. He shakes his head no slightly~

OGDA “I don’t know what that is Mister Kelloggs.”

James “Well. Maybe Joe could explain it to you.”

OGDA “It doesn’t matter. After what happened last week, I wanted that match, softcore whatever or just a straight up street fight in the worst way Mister Kelloggs! It kept me up Monday night, I was restless just thinking about Mister O’Connor! I was tossing and turning! I was thrashing about my hotel room bed! Throwing the blanket off of me because I was all hot and bothered, bothered that he ruined my wrestling match with Miss Hernandez! I wanted to get my hands on Mister O’Connor! I still do! I will not stop having sleepless nights till I get him right where I want him! I can’t stop thinking about him!”

~James is pinching the bridge of his nose, trying not to laugh~

OGDA “I was not a happy camper when I saw I’m wrestling Mister Losem tonight! That is why, here tonight! I will set the time that no one will be able to beat! The quicker I beat Mister Losem, the quicker I can my hands on Mister O’Connor! He will pay for what he did! Mark my words!”

James “Best!”

OGDA “Yes?”

James “Good luck to you. I really hope you get a hold of O’Connor.”

OGDA “Oh! I will! He can’t run and hide from me forever! He will be mine! Yes he will!”

~James pats OGDA on the back.~

James “I know he will. I know.”

~We cut back to the announce team~

Smith: OGDA seems focused, as always. Many people had hoped to see OGDA face Mack tonight, however, it was not to be.

Hood: Booking plans got in the way, Smith. That happens sometimes. I'm sure we'll see that match very soon post-Death March

Smith: Indeed.

Beat the Clock
Match #3: Time to Beat – 00:46
CJ O’Donnell (24-4) vs. Jack Puffer (0-2)

~The OCW Arena continues to express concern over the ALICE KNIGHT SITUATION. It has certainly cast a shadow over the BEAT THE CLOCK challenge. However, another match in the BEAT THE CLOCK challenge is about to get underway. Puffer is in the ring investigating the clock on the screen. He’s never seen anything like it before. Belvedere clears his throat and the crowd responds with some excitement…their collective mood is improving~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is the third match in the four match BEAT THE CLOCK series! The current time to beat is - . Introducing first, currently in the ring…Jack Puffer!

~Puffer continues to observe the clock. Why he’s so enamored with this clock we do not know…just the idiosyncrasies of a small time detective~

Belvedere: And, his opponent…

~"Kings Never Die" by Eminem hits. The fans pop for the return of The Distinguished! CJ O’Donnell appears on top of the ramp in his gear, ready to go. He talks a bunch of trash as he walks down the ramp, toward the ring. He slides into the ring and pops to his feet to a strong ovation from the OCW Arena~

Belvedere: From Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is a former OCW Tag Team Champion…making his in-ring return…please welcome back…“The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!

~CJ scoffs at the fan’s ovation. He doesn’t care for it…he doesn’t need it. Belvedere exits the ring~

Smith: Call it nostalgia…call it what you will but absence makes the heart grow fonder. These fans are happy to see CJ back in the ring…but, don’t confuse that with CJ being a fan favorite all of a sudden

Hood: Oh no, he’s still the amazing bastard he was in 2017. The fans will soon figure that shit out

Smith: Indeed

~Scruff looks at Puffer. Puffer looks back at Scruff. Scruff does something with his eyebrows. Puffer furrows his brow. Scruff finally yells “ARE YOU READY?!” Puffer has that “ooohhhh” look on his face. He nods, indicating he is ready. Scruff looks at CJ. CJ keeps his eyes zeroed in on Puffer. He nods. Scruff calls for the bell~

Smith: And here we go!! CJ has got to beat the mark of forty-six seconds

Hood: One Irish Knowledge and he’ll do it

Smith: Yep…Langston whiffed his first move against Depth which set him back

Hood: Not to mention that phantom second. I still don’t know where that came from

Smith: Time is a capricious entity

~CJ takes off. Puffer’s eyes widen. He’s in his corner. He sees this Irish man charging at him at full speed. Puffer freezes. CJ leaps into the air and drills Puffer with IRISH KNOWLEDGE!!! Puffer’s body goes limp!! He falls through the ropes to the outside! CJ returns to his feet and looks for Puffer. He seems him unconscious, outside and yells “FUCK!” He looks up at the clock…it’s at ten seconds~

Smith: CJ had it! Puffer is on the outside! He’s got to get him back inside the ring!

Hood: Puffer may not be Bifford…but dead weight is heavy weight

Smith: Indeed

~CJ flies through the ropes, landing next to Puffer’s lifeless body. He looks over his shoulder and sees the clock rising above fifteen~

Hood: YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO CHECK THE CLOCK! C’MON!

~CJ grabs Puffer…he’s a heavy sack of meat. CJ struggles getting the dead weight off the ground. The clock rises over twenty. The fans at ringside begin to count along with the clock. If this were an attempt to get to CJ, it appears to be working. A sense of near panic seems to set in. He gets Puffer’s upper body onto the apron before grabbing his legs~

Smith: He’d better hurry! We’re at thirty seconds!

Hood: Fuckin hell…what’s with these fans? Leave the man alone! Let him do his job!

Smith: The honeymoon between CJ and the fans is already over

~CJ gets Puffer’s legs onto the apron and shoves the man into the ring. The clock is at thirty-five seconds. CJ crawls in under the ropes. Puffer is face down. He grabs the man by the shoulder and rips him over, onto his back. The clock is at forty seconds~

Smith: This is going to be close!

Hood: Ahh! I can’t watch!

~CJ dives on top of Puffer. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings. CJ instantly looks up at the clock. All the fans turn, staring at the clock~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…completing the match at an official time of FORTY-FIVE SECONDS….CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!

Smith: CJ JUST inched out Langston…albeit in controversial fashion

Hood: Holy shit that was close

Smith: That means, worst case scenario…CJ’s team will go second

Hood: Langston got fucked, man. I’m a CJ fan but seriously, those two should be tied

Smith: There did seem to be a second vanish during Langston’s match…but, these times are official. CJ comes in at forty-five seconds…Langston comes in at forty-six seconds. Now…can OGDA best those times?

Hood: Ugh, probably

Smith: We’ll find out in tonight’s main event!

~Mack O’Connor sits in his dressing room, sipping a beer and watching Massacre on his TV. After a moment the door bursts open and Deangelo Vickers, OCW’s new Sensitivity Counselor, comes rushing in. He seems to be nearly out of breath~

Deangelo: Mack! We have to talk!

Mack: Can it wait?

Deangelo: No, it cannot. I know we haven’t had much time to meet throughout this past week. I feel like you’ve been trying to avoid me.

Mack: There’s truth to that.

Deangelo: Anyway, I was in meetings, then I see you go out there and give that rant.

Mack: Okay?

~Deangelo looks shocked~

Deangelo: Have you not learned anything, Mack? Have you not learned that your words can impact people?

~Mack stares at him blankly~

Mack: Umm…

Deangelo: We’re going to start your sensitivity training right now.

Mack: Wait… You mean right now, right now?

~Deangelo grabs a chair and sits it in front of the TV. He turns it off and sits down. Mack takes a deep breath~

Deangelo: You know it, kemo sabi. Right now.

Mack: Fuck…

Deangelo: First lesson? We’re trying to keep this company family friendly. So let’s keep the F-bombs to a minimum. When I say minimum, I mean let’s keep them to a never.

~Mack just stares at Deangelo: This is his life now~

Deangelo: You called Andrea Hernandez and Melinda Rhodes trash… Do you not see how that might offend someone? What about those who look up to them, Mack? How are those people going to feel? I’ll tell you: They might start to feel like trash too.

~Mack raises an eyebrow~

Mack: Are there people who look up to Hernandez and Rhodes?

~Deangelo gives Mack a hard look~

Deangelo: I don’t like the tone in your voice, Mack. It makes me feel like you’re not taking this seriously.

~Mack takes an incredibly heavy breath and takes a large gulp of beer~

Smith: Mack O'Connor receiving some much needed cousneling

Hood: Great...let's neuter our top stars...then we can become NPCW

Smith: NPCW?

Hood: Look NPC up

Smith: Later tonight!

~Inside the women’s locker room is Sugar Valentine, sitting in a chair counting a wad of money and just enjoying life. The door opens and walking inside the locker room is the Bad Ass James Kelloggs. Sugar snaps out of the chair~

Sugar “Whoah little man! You can’t be in heres!”

James “Motherfucker! Don’t make me punch you in the dick!”

Sugar “Now listen! You do that I’ll punt you into next week. You feel me?”

~James reaches in his suit pocket and pulls out a stack of money and tosses it at Sugar, who catches it and can’t believe what just happened~

James “You tell that fucking bitch to be at my hotel room in 30, and not one fucking second late or I’ll be back here and trust me sweetcakes, you don’t fucking what that!”

~Sugar quickly thumbs through the stack of money. He smiles.~

Sugar “Not a problem. Sugars got you covered little man. The bitch will be there wearing bells.”

James “Fuck bells! Have that mouthy fucking cunt wear this instead.”

~James tosses a “Daddy’s little girl” bib on the floor.~

James “And don’t call me little man anymore. I will, cut, you down to my size. Got that?”

Sugar “I feel ya, yeah, sure thing.”

James “Good! Make it happen Sugar!”

~James exits the room and Sugar eyes the money some more.~

Sugar “Oh it will, trust me, it will. Freaky little bastard.”

~We cut back to Smith and Hood~

Smith: Can we get Deangelo to, I don't know, perhaps counsel whatever it is that's going on in the women's locker room?!

Hood: I thought you were all for Deangelo counseling Mack

Smith: I was...but then Sugar appeared with Kelloggs...discussing an individual I can only assume to be Who'Re and it made me realize we have bigger problems

Hood: Man why do you always try and paint Sugar in a negative shade? The guy shows up to work and earns MONEY! Who'Re is flush with cash, Smith. And, not to mention, Sugar bought her a steak last week at Sizzler. When was the last time someone bought Who'Re a steak?

Smith: Let's cut to something else

~Camera fades backstage and you see Ed Houston laying on the floor. Standing above him is Tony Savage with a steel chair in his hand. Savage looks like he is a man on a mission as CJ O’Donnell and Curt Canon applaud him. ~

O’Donnell: Bravo Tony. Bravo. That was one hell of a chair shot to Ed. I am sure he is dreaming of tiny little rockets right now.

~ Canon bends down to Houston and picks his head up. ~

Canon: I’d like to introduce you to my fourth member of my team Tony Savage.

~ O’Donnell smirks as he gives Savage a fist bump. ~

Canon: Oh you thought I was going to actually wrestle at Death March? I devised a new strategy Ed. I'm not going to beat you physically Ed...well not yet. I am going to wear you down mentally. Take everything you have, drive you to brink of insanity….Then I am going to save you from the brink Ed. You may be one step quicker than me, but you will never be one step ahead of me. It is about time that you realize that I will always be smarter than you….

O’Donnell: Not only are you smarter than Houston you are also a Hall of Famer something Ed never will be.

~ Canon lets out a laugh. ~

Canon: Absolutely and after Death March when his team lets him down his title shot is mine.

O’Donnell: Don’t worry Curt I won’t let you down as the Co Captain of Team Canon. I will make sure I lead the team to victory just like I destroyed my opponent tonight.

Canon: Speaking of which didn't you just wrestle? I don't see a drop of sweat!

O’Donnell: Come on Curt this is Jack Puffer we are talking about. I'm the Ironman of 2017! Beating the clock against Puffer was simply a warm up for what's to come next week.

~Camera goes back to the announcers as Savage, O’Donnell and Canon walk down the long hallway. ~

Smith: Curt has acquired the services of Tony Savage!

Hood: Man that guy just keeps getting smarter. He's going to let four men do the fighting while he sits back and watches

Smith: It does forfeit his chance at an OCW Title shot, though

Hood: I guess. Have you seen the field of Death March? It's like the Kentucky Derby. You could be the best wrestler and still lose. It's a total cluster fuck

Smith: There are a lot of names - Tony Savage now included. He has to be one of the favorites going in

Hood: He's been on fire lately. The guy has 'it'. Will he bring 'it' next week? That's the question

Smith: Indeed

~The Uber Man stands at a door backstage. He bangs on it several times. He looks desperate, apparently speaking to someone on the other side of the door~

Uber Man: Alice! Please listen to me. I know you have a past with this wretched CJ O'Donnell. I have already come to terms with it... But it shouldn't get in the way of us!

~Uber Man pounds on the door again~

Uber Man: I won't let this man come between us, Alice. We were meant to be. We go together like PB and J. Like pineapple and pizza. Like Spider Man and Nickelback. We go together, Alice! We go together like rama lama lama, ka dinga da dinga dong! Remembered forever! As shoo-bop, sha wadda wadda, yippity boom de boom!

~Uber Man pounds on the door, resting his forehead on the door~

Uber Man: Chang chang, changitty chang sha-bop...

~Uber Man breathes heavily. He's losing energy~

Uber Man: That's the way it should be, Alice. That's the way it should be.

~Uber Man waits for a response. No one responds. Several more moments pass, and a single tear begins to drop from the Uber Man's eye. Once it is clear that no one is responding, Uber Man turns to leave~

Uber Man: You were everything to me, Alice... Everything...

~He bursts into tears as he sprints away from the door. After a moment, a backstage worker walks by the door and stops. He looks at the label: Alice Knight. He shakes his head in disappointment~

OCW Worker: I don't know who keeps getting these labels wrong...

~The Worker peels off Alice Knight's name, then replaces it with a label that reads: Deangelo Vickers~

OCW Worker: There we go. That's better.

~The Worker walks off~

Smith: Poor Uber

Hood: I don't know how the guy isn't used to the friend zone by now. A picture of Uber Man is nestled right next to the definition of 'Friend Zone'

Smith: He shouldn't give up so easily! Just because CJ is back and he's had...mild flirtations with Alice on the twitter doesn't mean they are an item

Hood: That's what pussies in the friend zone do, Smith. They tuck their tails between their legs and run away at the first sign of competition. I think it's time Uber became The Lyft Man.

Smith: Those are some strong words, Hood. Well folks...it's time for our main event. Can OGDA top CJ's bench mark of forty-five seconds? If so, Team OGDA and Team Mack will be afforded the luxury of going on first which means the survivors will receive the most time to recuperate before the main event at Death March

Hood: I predict OGDA either wins this thing in five seconds or five minutes. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND

Smith: Let's head down to ringside

Beat the Clock
Match #4: Time to Beat - 00:45
OGDA © (6-2) vs. Soot Losem (0-1)

~It’s almost main event time. The question on everyone’s mind isn’t Alice anymore…it’s whether or not OGDA can BEAT THAT CLOCK! He’s got a pretty quick time to beat but, hey, if anyone can do it it’s OCW’s resident SUPER HERO. Belvedere clears his throat and the crowd goes wild~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our main event of the evening! This is the final match in the Beat the Clock series! OGDA must win in under (time) in order to BEAT THE CLOCK! Introducing first, currently in the ring…Soot Losem!

~Soot says something about getting screwed out of his ‘deal’ before the camera quickly cuts away~

Belvedere: And, his opponent…

"You might say that I'm a normal kid!"

~A rainbow shoots over the entrance way....~

"Most of the time I guess I am!"

~OGDA runs out from the back to a huge pop from every Shining Star in attendance!~

"But if there's trouble I'll be there
I have just the thing to wear
I'm a superhero"

~The Rainbow Warriors are flooding the ramp area to the ring just to get close to OGDA!
It's mayhem!
It's Madness!
Sally is sad cuz she didn't get a hug!~

"Look at me go!
I'm a superhero
Look at me go"

~Highfives!
Hugs!
Lowfives!
Selfies!
All of this going on as OCW's Superhero makes his way to the ring....~

"Flying through the sky, Fighting the bad guys, There's no need to fear Cuz I'll be here"

~The children are reunited with their parents!
Everyone is happy!
Sally got a hug!
There is so much happiness as the OGDA rolls into the ring and climbs the nearest set of turnbuckles!~

"I'll be your superhero"

~Everyone! Sing along!~

Belvedere: From the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320ishlbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion…Orgulloso Guardian Del Arcoiris!!!

~OGDA slides into the ring upon hearing his name. He stands tall and triumphant~

Smith: OGDA looking great with his Craze Championship!

Hood: I honestly expected him to be without ‘belty’ this evening but…shenanigans

Smith: Shenanigans indeed! Team Mack cost Andrea her chance at capturing the Craze Championship…something I’m sure she won’t forget

Hood: Women are like elephants

Smith: Hood!

Hood: What? I’m simply saying they never forget!

Smith: Oh, okay…whew

Hood: Some of them are fat, too

Smith: HOOD!

~OGDA hands his belt to Belvedere, who exits. The crowd is chanting “BEAT THE CLOCK!” We aren’t sure if OGDA really gets what’s going on here…but he does look focused. Losem continues to grumble about his misfortunes~

Smith: Losem was expecting a different match this evening

Hood: Two men facing one another who expected different opponents. Irony?

Smith: Maybe…but, again, booking plans. I’m sure both men will get the match they desire shortly. However, tonight, it’s about beating that clock. OGDA has got to pin Losem in under forty-five seconds.

~Scruff looks at Losem. Losem apathetically nods, indicating he’s ready. Scruff looks at OGDA who is MORE than ready. Scruff calls for the bell~

Smith: And here we go! OGDA needs to pin Losem in under forty-five seconds! The clock is ticking!

Hood: I would try and play mind games with OGDA..but he’s missing a key ingredient

Smith: RUDE

~OGDA hurries toward Losem. Losem drops to the mat, on his back. OGDA pauses and looks down. Losem says ‘PIN ME’. OGDA looks around, confused. The clock is nearing ten seconds. The fans start screaming ‘PIN HIM’~

Smith: What is Losem doing?

Hood: He’s pissed that he didn’t get his other title match! He’s obviously blaming Welsh…he’s going to hand the beat the clock challenge to a Zybala guy!

Smith: Oh man…this will not make our GM happy. Of all the captains Welsh picked…the one he’d least like to see go all the way is Mack. So not only would this help OGDA…it would also help Mack.

~OGDA drops to his knees and makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!

~The crowd goes wild!! We look up and see FIFTEEN SECONDS! OGDA leaps to his feet celebrating~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of the BEAT THE CLOCK CHALLENGE….

Voice: WHOA!

~The OCWTron flashes on. We see Marcus Welsh. His fists are clenched. His face is red. Greg’s head suddenly appears from within his lap, trying to remain hidden. The fans in the arena go wild. Welsh has no idea why they are cheering. His face returns to it’s normal pigmentation~

Marcus Welsh: This is NOT going to fly! Restart the match! RESTART IT OR LOSE YOUR JOB, SCRUFF! And, whatever you do…DO NOT RESET THAT CLOCK

~BOOOO goes the crowd~

Smith: That’s not fair! If you’re going to restart the match at least reset the clock!

Hood: What’s not fair is Losem throwing the beat the clock challenge for his grab ass pal Zybala. Good call, Welsh!

~Scruff, a man with more bills than equity, does as he’s told. The bell sounds anew. The clock starts ticking. The fans go from booing to urging OGDA to fight. Losem, still on the ground yells “PIN ME AGAIN!”~

Marcus Welsh: Oh no Scott…Scoot…Soot…whatever your dumbass name is! You’re going to get up and FIGHT

~Time keeps ticking. We’re over twenty-five seconds. Losem finally gets up and leans in to OGDA. He’s communicating with the masked man. Welsh continues to watch from the OCWTron~

Marcus Welsh: Hey! No cahoots! Not on my watch! FIGHT OR YOU’RE BOTH FIRED!

Smith: Welsh is making this almost impossible…what a jerk!

Hood: He’s balancing the odds, Smith. Zybala screwed Langston earlier…he’s getting some payback

Smith: There is NO evidence that Zybala screwed Langston. That could have simply been a timekeeper’s error

~The crowd is freaking out. They are yelling “GO! GO!” The clock is over thirty-five seconds. Losem tries to give himself to OGDA. OGDA, though, has never been in this situation before…he’s nonplussed~

Marcus Welsh: Damnit, Losem! I’m warning you! Fight him!

~The clock rises above forty seconds. Losem sighs. He doesn’t want to hit OGDA. He had another plan in mind. The crowd is booing. The clock hits forty-three. The crowd counts along~

Crowd: Forty-Four…Forty-Five…Forty-Six…Forty…BOOOOOO!!!!

Marcus Welsh: Oh, damn, looks like time’s up. Losem, you may lay down now

~Welsh vanishes from the screen. All that remains is the clock. It’s at fifty seconds. Losem, angry at OGDA, gives him a shove in the chest followed by a slap across the face. The fans go silent. Losem yells at the Craze Champion~

Smith: Oh no

Hood: Losem’s night is about to go from bad to worse

~OGDA grabs Losem by the arm and pulls him in for a short arm clothesline!! Losem hits the mat, HARD. OGDA steps through the ropes. Losem gets to his feet…purely out of instinct, it appears. OGDA hops up and springboards off the top rope with Wrath of the Rainbow!!! He connects! Losem is out! OGDA makes the cover~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell sounds. The fans cheer OGDA’s win but they are visibly annoyed by Welsh’s antics~

Belvedere: The winner of this match…with a time of one minute and ten seconds…he is the OCW Craze Champion…OGDA!!!!!

Smith: Well that stinks!

Hood: CJ for the win! He is the master of time!

Smith: Hyperbole, don’t you think?

Hood: No way, man. He just beat the clock. We might as well call CJ…Father Time

Smith: OGDA was screwed. Some shady dealing went down with Langston. Alice was screwed…what a terrible night. We really need Zybala to triumph next week

Hood: Keep dreaming!

Smith: Well folks, I’m told we’re going to get an update on Alice before we go off the air tonight. So, while AKB gathers the information, let’s head backstage

~Backstage, the OCW CHAMPION Matt Meyhu, stands on a box. A soap box, to be exact. A Zest box specifically! He is talking to anybody who will listen, waving his hands as people walk by. He suddenly has a southern drawl. His assistant, Ezra, stands off to the side.~

Matt Meyhu: The fix is in, people! You think you’re in control of your own destiny around here? You’re not! They are. They choose who wins.

Ezra Rosenberg: Preach!

Matt Meyhu: Do you show up to work every single day? Work hard? Represent this company to the best of your ability? Better than anyone else ever has?! None of that matters! None of it. Ya hear?

Ezra Rosenberg: Can I get an amen?!

Matt Meyhu: The man is in control. Hey, you there. Keep your head on a swivel, young fella!

~Ed Houston is walking by and is flagged down by Meyhu’s waving hands and… Wise… Words.~

Matt Meyhu: There out to get you, Houston. Just like they’re out to get me. You think you’re going to win next week? It’s out of your hands! Be careful out there!

Ed Houston: You got a problem, man…

~Ed walks away as quickly as he can, not wanting to get sucked into the Marvel’s spiel.~

Matt Meyhu: I have a problem? Ironic coming from you, Houston!

~Suddenly we see a shadow appear and Meyhu's eyes seem to grow larger. Out of nowhere we see the OCW Hall of Famer, former 3-time OCW World Champ, and current OCW Hall of Fame Champion Lurrr cut in. The crowd goes nuts~

Lurrr: Young fella?!? You talk to these guys back here like you've been around for a decade and have all the right answers? Spoiler alert... you don't. If you did then this company wouldn't be calling up all of these supposed "dinosaurs" to provide entertainment to the OCW fan base. In fact if I were the current OCW Champion and continuously saw management reach out week after week to these so called "dinosaurs" I would seriously be contemplating whether or not I have that "it" factor to carry the work load of this company. I mean looking at it from a non-bias view it seems that the current OCW brass may not have complete confidence in their current champion to carry that torch... seems to be a little concerning I would think?

~The crowd can be heard reacting to the shots fired from Lurrr~

Lurrr: As far as Death March... I wouldn't be worried about what my role is going to be or whether or not you are going to get a fair shake in this whole thing. I think it would be foolish for you to overthink this match. Bottom-line is I will be showing up to Death March with my little referee shirt ready to officiate a world championship match and nothing else. Don't worry about my past where I have decidedly tried to screw over any OCW superstar whenever they stand in the way of that OCW title. Don't worry about the fact that I think it is a complete joke that current management has deemed this the greatest versus the greatest and didn't even consider calling me up when they came up with this idea. And don't worry that my ego has always proved that I should be the one true shining pearl of this company that the whole world should always be talking about. Anyways just look past all of that and feel confident that I will always call a match right down the middle.

~Lurrr looks at Meyhu with a huge shit eating grin on his face~

Matt Meyhu: Well, well, well... Look who it is! The Hall of Fame Champion himself! Right down the middle, huh? That sounds like exactly what someone trying to screw me over would want me to think!

~Meyhu hops down off the Zest box and motions for Ezra to pick it up. You don't let a box like that go! Meyhu takes a step closer to Lurrr and fires a grin right back.~

Matt Meyhu: I don't have the "it" factor? I'm full of "it"! I've got "it" oozing from my body. When I'm out, under those bright lights, I sweat "it" from my pores! When Tiffany and I are alone, "it" comes out when I-

~Ezra clears his throat, interrupting Meyhu. The champ quickly reroutes the conversation. His grin is now gone.~

Matt Meyhu: I, uh, I understand why you're here. That bruised ego of yours couldn't stomach two other guys being billed as the greatest, huh? Especially a young whippersnapper like 'The Marvel' himself? I know how guys like you view new eras, new talent taking over... And I have taken over... Yeah, you've got all the incentive in the world to screw me over. If one dinosaur wins, all the dinosaurs win, right? You may not like him but at least he was big in the 80's too. So no, I'm not going to be holding my breath for a fair match at Death March.

~Lurrr grins as he approaches Meyhu even closer~

Lurrr: A bruised ego...son you would need to accomplish something that I haven’t for my ego to be bruised. Last I checked the count is 3 when it comes to OCW championships. Last I checked I AM a OCW Hall of Famer. Last time I checked I am the guy who built this company from the ground up, not you.

~Lurrr pauses and wipes his hand across his mouth~

Lurrr: While you may be right when it comes to Syren, which for the record is probably the most overrated guy in our esteemed Hall of Fame, you seem to forget one thing “Mr. Marvel.” I am a man who plays to his own tune and any decision I make is on a fly without any indicator of what’s to come next so keep that in the back of your head come Death March. And when it comes to the “it” factor you so crave just look in front of you. I am exactly who you strive to be. I am the bar you are trying to reach. And I am the ultimate goal every guy in this business is trying to reach. When it comes to Death March I will make the decision that has my best interests in mind and not anybody else’s. So sleep on that Champ...

~Lurrr grins again and pats the OCW Championship belt as he walks away~

Smith: Oh man...if there's one thing you can say about Lurrr it's that he doesn't share the spotlight. Some way, some how he will make next week's OCW Title match about him

Hood: Yep and he will act in his best interests. Which side do his best interests lie? Are they with Meyhu? Or, are they with Syren?

Smith: I honestly couldn't tell you. He's always hated Syren. Syren is the one man that stands in the way of Lurrr being known as the unquestioned king of OCW lore. However, if there's one thing Lurrr hates, arguably more than Syren...it's this new era of talent. It really is impossible to call

Hood: And, like Lurrr said...he may not even know, right now, which way he'll lean, if any. He goes second by second. There is no premeditation with that man. Death March should be fucking wild

Smith: Indeed...Meyhu has got to be nervous. Surrounded by two OCW originals. Two OCW legends from yesteryear. He's definitely the odd man out. One of these things is not like the other...who is, Matt Meyhu

~We cut backstage where AKB is standing by with the Head of HR – Cap Slock~

AKB: Cap Slock…short and sweet as we are running out of time and I’ve got a Tinder date waiting for me at the bar. What’s the official word on Alice Knight?

Cap Slock: WELL SON IT’S NOT GOOD. THE WORD IS NOT GOOD. THE KNIFE MAN ORDERED THAT SHE BE REMOVED FROM DEATH MARCH, OFFICIALLY. ZYBALA WANTED A SECOND OPINION. SO HIS ‘DR ANONYMOUS’ EVALUATED ALICE, ANONYMOUSLY. WHEN HIS, OR HER, REPORT WAS FILED IT, TOO, STATED THAT ALICE SIMPLY CANNOT COMPETE. HER HEAD TRAUMA IS TOO SEVERE.

~Wincing, AKB rubs his ears before continuing~

AKB: So that leaves Team Maurako down a member?

Cap Slock: THAT IT DOES, BOY. MARIO HAS UNTIL THE END OF TONIGHT TO REPLACE ALICE WHICH, IF YOU’RE KEEPING TRACK ISN’T VERY LONG. I AM TOLD THAT TEAM MAURAKO HAS MANAGED TO ESCAPE THE PREDICATMENT TEAM COLLINS PLACED THEM IN EARLIER THIS EVENING AND ARE AT THE BUILDING. THEY WERE UNABLE TO LOCATE TEAM COLLINS. BUT, THEY ARE HEADING DOWN TO THE RING IN A FEW MOMENTS TO ADDRESS THE ALICE SITUATION. MANAGEMENT, LIKELY COMMISSIONER ZYBALA, HAS EXTENDED TONIGHT'S BROADCAST IN AN EFFORT TO GIVE TEAM MAURAKO A FINAL CHANCE TO FILL THEIR TEAM.

~AKB is covering his ears~

Cap Slock: ANYTHING ELSE?

AKB: No, that’s it…for the love THAT IS IT!

Cap Slock: WELL, THERE’S NO NEED FOR SHOUTING, MY BOY

~And with that, Cap Slock heads off. AKB sends it back to Smith and Hood before bending over and rubbing his ears~

Smith: Well that just…that just stinks

Hood: Ahh…smell that? The smell of fresh air. The stank of Alice Knight is no longer on Death March

Smith: They couldn’t just leave her alone, could they? They couldn’t just let her rest up and compete at Death March to try and win the title she lost nearly two years ago, could they? They just HAD to ruin it for her. Team Collins…you guys are JERKS

Hood: Oh man, calm down…otherwise Deangelo might need to come out here and counsel you

Smith: Screw you, Hood!

Hood: Damn, you are LIVID

~”Kickstart My Heart” by Mötley Crüe hits and Mario Maurako makes his way out from the back. The crowd erupts at the sight of Maurako, who doesn’t seem to be overly excited. He is soon flanked by his multi-time OCW Tag Team Championship partner Paul Paras, and 2-Time OCW Central Champion Brianna Casablancas.~

Hood: Here come the biggest losers at Death March!

Smith: They are looking a little light, and with the news of Alice being held out, it doesn’t bode well for Team Maurako.

Hood: It’s over, they might as well not even show up!

Smith: I wouldn’t go that far.

Hood: That’s what your last girlfriend said wasn’t it?

~The trio enter the ring, Maurako looking visibly shaken as he stands in the middle with the microphone. He looks out at the crowd and you can almost feel Mario’s disappointment at the hand dealt. Suddenly Mario just passes the microphone off to Paras. The fans’ anticipation grows as the returning Minnesota Messiah, Paul Paras, takes the microphone and taps it against his palm, stoically surveying his people. He takes a deep, cleansing breath and lifts the mic to his lips.~

Paul Paras: OCW…

~One of the most popular wrestlers in company history, Paras is immediately interrupted by the thunderous cheers of his fans. Paras flashes his signature half-mouthed smirk and waits out the noise before continuing.~

Paul Paras: The eyes may see that, at Death March, this team of legends… this team of revolutionaries… this team of once-in-a-lifetime talents… may be at a bit of a disadvantage. The ears may hear of a four-on-three handicap. The fingers may feel the chance at Ultimate Survival slipping out of our grasp, the tongue may find the taste of victory unpalatable, and the noses of our adversaries no doubt smell blood in the water. Luckily for us, however, the ancient Zen masters have imbued in us our true sense…

~Paras motions toward Maurako and Casablancas with three outstretched fingers, which he then places over his heart, rapping his fist against his chest as he speaks again, his voice becoming less wistful and more confident.~

Paul Paras: …Our sixth sense. Our intangible. Our X factor. A sense you can’t prepare for, because by the time you’ve even begun to understand, you’re already sitting backstage with your head bandaged up, your arm in a sling, and your shame spilled out on the locker room floor in front of you. It’s the sense that made Brianna a household name across the globe, made Mario Maurako an OCW icon, and made the Minnesota Messiah the OCW World Champion.

~The crowd erupts and starts chanting “ONE MORE TIME” at the former World Champ. Paras, collected as always, simply nods and retains his composure.~

Paul Paras: In Ultimate Survival, one more time, Perfectly Marvelous will march. With the talent of Brianna Casablancas, the spirit of Alice Knight, and the force of OCW fans by our side, this won’t be a march to death for us, Aidan. This will be a march to glory.

~Paras holds the mic over his shoulder and Mario grabs it and steps forward. Suddenly Mario looks a lot more confident following the words of his Perfect friend.~

Mario Maurako: Thanks for that Paul. I’m not going to lie, none of this has been as easy for me as it used to be. Putting together this team was a challenge but it was looking damn good. Then like usual Aidan, Bifford, Roach and their new friend took Alice out and she will not be able to go at Death March next week.

~The fans boo at the mention of the vicious attack and removal of Alice from the Death March match. Mario takes a moment and shakes his head in disgust.~

Mario Maurako: But after listening to you Paul I realize that even down 4 to 3 we are still the team to beat at Death March! So Collins, Bifford, Roach…

~The mic cuts and the lights go out.~

Hood: DON’T TOUCH ME THERE!

Smith: What is going on? What is this?

~The fans are restless in the dark as seconds feel like minutes. Finally the silence is broken.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Feel Good

The opening 6 seconds of “Feel Good Inc” by the Gorillaz play and then the lights come up and in the ring in front of Mario Maurako stands OCW Hall of Famer Silver Cyanide and the crowd goes bananas!~

Hood: You have got to be kidding me!!!!

Smith: It’s Silver Cyanide!

Hood: I thought he was dead!

Smith: Holy cow, is he going to be on the team!?

~In pure excitement Mario drops the mic and mouths “Are you in?” to Cyanide who confidently shakes his head in the affirmative. The longtime friends share a quick embrace and then Mario grabs the mic back off the mat as Cyanide embraces Paras and Casablancas.~

Mario Maurako: Aidan Collins and friends you are all dead men now. Cyanide, Paras, and myself we used to go by the name of “Still Fucking Better”, then you want to add in Brianna to that unit. Now you can refer to us SEFB… Somehow Even Fucking Better! And at Death March we are going to read you your last rites!

~Mario tosses the mic into the crowd as the group stands tall! The fans are going nuts! “CYANIDE!” is being chanted throughout the OCW Arena~

Smith: I can’t believe he’s back! Silver Cyanide…never, in a million years

Hood: Slim SHADY had a better shot at returning and that mother fucker is LEGIT dead

Smith: Look at that team…LOOK AT THEM…Three of the best wrestlers in company history along with the undefeated, two time Central Champion. I know Aidan is the FACE of OCW…but how can he defeat S.E.F.B.?!

Hood: He’s got his work cut out for him. But he is King Infinity…with James Raven by his side…along with Biff and Roach, they’ll come up with a plan.

Smith: All this talk about the greatest wrestler in OCW history. That man right there, folks. Silver Cyanide might be the greatest of all time. His legacy is hindered only by the fact he quit returning every time OCW reopened its doors. His name has been forgotten but not due to a lack of talent on his end…simply because, unlike so many others, he moved on.

Hood: But now he’s back! Paras, Cyanide, Maurako, Brianna…that is the single greatest team in OCW history!

Smith: Indeed! Holy Smokes! Death March is one week away! The next time you see us we will be broadcasting LIVE from the event that will forever change the course of OCW history…it’s the biggest event in company history! Tune in next week folks! Oh my gosh I think I’m going to faint and explode all at once!

Hood: For this spazzy weirdo next to me…I’m Hood saying so long!

~One final shot of SEFB is shown as we fade out and into a final advert for Death March~

---

OCW Presents: Death March
LIVE! Monday, December 17th 2018
From Assiniboine Park
Located in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

Team Houston
Ed Houston
Noah Hanson
Mac Bane
​Tytus Rost

​Team Canon
CJ O'Donnell
Mike Harrison
Eon Night
​Tony Savage

---

Team Hellbitches
Hellraven
Jacqui Monroe
Amy Jo Smyth
​Unnamed Female

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Team OGDA
OGDA
Jacob Hotstuff
Adrian Turner
​Andrea Hernandez

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Team Maurako
Mario Maurako
Brianna Casablancas
Paul Paras
​Silver Cyanide

Team Langston
Vincent Langston
Zolton
Dangerous Dan
​Crazy Chris

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Team O'Connor
Mack O'Connor
Chad Vargas
Bob Grenier
​PerZag

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Team Collins
Aidan Collins
The Big Bifford
Roach
James Raven

---