OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, December 3rd 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~It’s another Monday Night! We’re coming off a wild weekend. We are fucking tired and really fucking exhausted. But, hey, that’s the price we pay for partying like a champ two and a half days straight. Work is pretty light this time of year so there isn’t a whole hell of a lot to do – this is a good thing. It affords us the chance to sit back and reminisce over the weekend. It also gives birth to ideas pertaining to the future. We aren’t HUGE planners or mega dreamers. So when we think about the future we think about what we’re going to do after work. We’re not thinking about flying cars or multiyear business investments. So, of course, Massacre is on our mind. It has been all day. We’re now a few minutes away from its usual time slot. Will Scott Syren show up? We ask ourselves. Who is going to join Team King Infinity? What about Mack’s team? Can he stay sober long enough to field at least one additional individual? And all this Rebel Rhodes stuff…the fuck happened there? We take a seat with a giant coconut water. No beer…at least not for another six days. The TV is already on and that sweet OCW logo greets us. What do you know? The hangover is already starting to lift. The mind is a capricious mother fucker. We cut into the OCW Arena. The fans are going nuts! It’s time for some Massacre! The screen shifts to Hood and Smith~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host, Smith and alongside me as always is Hood
Hood: Georgia got fucked!
Smith: Two seconds in and you’re already off topic. Folks we’ve got some great action tonight headlined by two important matches.
Hood: Is King Infinity fighting twice?!
Smith: I’m speaking of the OCW Craze Championship and the battle royal for OCW’s signature briefcase
Hood: Ah, yes, the Oh Shit contract. My favorite honor this company has to offer because you’re too big of a pussy to say it.
Smith: Moral compass, Hood.
Hood: Morality is for people too scared to sin like a rockstar
Smith: Whatever that means…folks we’ve got a huge night in store for you all. Death March is just TWO WEEKS away. I have no doubt that we will be treated to many surprises and big announcements…so, let’s get this thing started!
~”Can’t Tell Me Nothing” hits and the lights dim. Out from the back steps the OCW Champion, Matt Meyhu! ‘The Marvel’ walks with a slight limp down the aisle, but still shows off his signature smirk. The title is draped over his left shoulder.~
Smith: The OCW Champion is on his way to the ring!
Hood: Shhhhh! I’m watching!
~Meyhu enters the ring and poses with the title along the ropes for the few fans interested. He walks across to the opposite side and does the same once again. Meyhu grabs the microphone and waits for the music to fade out.~
Matt Meyhu: The champ is in the building! And boy does it feel good… For you!
~Meyhu smiles wide and nods.~
Matt Meyhu: I can’t imagine what it must be like for you… Having a true star walk down to this ring and captivate you. I mean look at you! You’re hanging on my every word!
~The fans grumble amongst themselves as the champion admires his perceived reality. His signature smirk remains on his face for a moment before it slowly begins to fade away.~
Matt Meyhu: I mean… I’m supposed to know what that’s like, right? I’m the goddamn OCW Champion! I should have a similarly captivating talent standing across from me. Going toe to toe with me. Don’t tell me the well has run dry already… For weeks and weeks I was coming out here, making this company proud, and how do I get rewarded? It’s a shame, really. Where’s the motivation for your biggest star to keep showing up?!
~Matt removes the title from his shoulder and admires it closely, face to face. He can’t help but smile a little more as he gazes at it.~
Matt Meyhu: I didn’t expect much out of the mute cousin-fucker you guys spent months pushing on me. He peaked long ago. The moment was too big for him. This spot just isn’t for him. And when he makes his “surprise return” at Death March, the crowd will go mild and he will fall flat on his face once again.
~The champion drapes the belt back over his shoulder and looks around at the fans, who are beginning to show interest.~
Matt Meyhu: But this time around? This is supposed to be the biggest match in OCW history! The greatest of all-time against the greatest old man of all-time! And where is he? I’ve been waiting weeks for this! Nothing. We’ve all been told he will be here tonight!
~The fans cheer at the thought. Matt shakes his head.~
Matt Meyhu: No no no… Don’t buy into the hype! Believe it when you see it. I have a feeling we will all be let down once again. Last week, we dug deeper into the old folks home to retrieve Lurrr!
~More cheers hit the arena. Matt waves his hands, trying to get it to stop.~
Matt Meyhu: The fix is in, people! All of the pieces have been put in place to rob me of what I’ve earned! When this was set up, it was presented as a way to get rid of the final OCW relic… But now that we can see all the moving parts, we can see what’s really happening. Well I’m not going down without a fight.
~The crowd starts to boo causing Meyhu to pause. He looks toward the entrance ramp because the guy is a veteran and he isn’t stupid. There he finds Marcus Welsh standing with a mic in hand. Knux is at his side~
Marcus Welsh: Champ, I sympathize with you, I really do. You have carried the main event scene for nearly two years! And now...now with the biggest match in company history two weeks away we are all left wondering when...no, not when...IF your opponent is going to show up. I’ve heard that he’s here tonight but I’ve yet to see him. But I can guarantee this, champ. There is no fix, at least, not on my end. A Syren victory does not benefit me whatsoever. I’m pulling for you in all of this, champ. I want to see you extinguish the final link between the past and the present so we can focus on the future.
Matt Meyhu: That's been my goal since day one around here. Out with the old. This is the cause I've been fighting for. But there was no reason to bring this guy back again! Besides, we've been focused on the future! You're looking at it!
Marcus Welsh: And you have executed your goal to perfection. Your run has been nothing short of spectacular. Your contributions will forever be remembered, champ. When we move into the new era of OCW the people will remember Matt Meyhu as the man who helped transition OCW from the dark ages into a new, enlightened period of success.
Matt Meyhu: You're damn right I will be. Where you and I seem to not see eye to eye, is that I plan on being the face of more than one era. I'm ridding this place of its trash, but not so somebody else can enjoy it. Oh no! I'm renovating this place for a better, more enjoyable title reign. My time here is only just beginning, boss.
~There is a slight pop from the crowd. A few fans that seem to empathize with Meyhu’s position. Far from a majority, though. Welsh nods before speaking~
Marcus Welsh: I’ve always admired your confidence, champ. You’re going to need that confidence over these next few months. Change is never an easy thing for the old guard to accept. Good luck at Death March. Your legacy depends on it.
~And with that Welsh drops the mic leaving an agitated Meyhu in the ring. We can almost sense more fans siding with the champ the longer his dealings with Welsh go on~
Smith: Tensions seem to be slowly building between Welsh and Meyhu. These two have been on the same page for nearly two years...but could we be seeing the end of a dominant partnership?
Hood: Welsh hasn't really tried to hide the fact that King Infinity is the new face of OCW. That's something Meyhu is going to have to come to grips with at some point. He gets his big match against Syren in two weeks. After that...it's time for him to settle into a new role
Smith: Good luck convincing the champ of that notion. I'm sure we'll see more of this unfold as the night develops. However, it's time for our first match this evening as Legion looks to remain unbeaten as she faces Richard Dweck
|
|
the Queenslayer Legion (1-0) vs. Richard Dweck (0-0)
~The fans are ready for action! They see Richard in the ring and start to go wild! It’s the first time we’ve seen Richard in some time. He looks way different. Perhaps he had major plastic surgery on his face…who knows? All we know is he’s back! Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring…Richard Dweck!!
Smith: Richard was…well, he was infamous back in 2014. People called him the new Scoot Time. We haven’t seen Richard in a while but now he’s back
Hood: Here’s hoping he’s every bit as entertaining as he was in 2014
Smith: I’m not sure how I feel about that
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The sound of a clock counting down hits the P.A. system and there is a mixed reaction from the fans as the arena is plunged into darkness. As the clock winds down, the image of a novelty snow globe comes up on the big screen. It’s fashioned like a snow globe, except it looks as though there is a desert sandstorm going on within! Being buried by layers upon layers of sand, it seems as though a miniature Starlight is in a deep slumber..~
Belvedere: “Coming to us from AOKIGAHARA, JAPAN..”
~The desert snow globe shatters loudly as the main part of the song kicks in. The Legion inside is wide awake with purpose. Like a true ronin, the miniature Legion from the globe is up to her feet and ready for action, and she becomes full size in front of the eyes of the fans on the big screen. The fans cheer as the house lights fade back in, accompanied by neon blue searchlights emanating from the side of the ramp, and they cheer even louder as the curtains are thrown back and Starlight appears on the entrance ramp with a confident, knowing smile..~
Belvedere: “Standing at FIVE FOOT THREE INCHES tall and weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN POUNDS! REPRESENTING JAPAN”
[Violin drop]
~Legion makes her way down the ramp at the same pace as the music, reaching ringside and climbing the steps before leaping majestically over the top rope and throwing up her trademark taunt to another cheer..~
Belvedere: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE QueenSlayer, the Last Ronin Legion
Smith: Last week Legion breezed to victory in her debut match…can she do the same this week?
Hood: If she does we might have to start considering her as a threat
Smith: Yep…big things could be in her immediate future
~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: And here we go…another night of in ring action is underway!
Hood: Let’s see if Richard can get some offense in
Smith: I hope so
~Richard starts to freestyle rap. He spits some lyrics Legion’s way while approaching her. Is this some kind of art of intimidation? Will it work? Nope. Legion just leaps in the air and boots him in the face with her devastating finisher Ronin’s Revenge!!! Dweck falls to the mat. He’s out. Legion makes the pin as the crowd is all like “OH SHIT!”~
1!
2!
3!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…THE QUEENSLAYER LEGION!!!!!
Smith: Oh my
Hood: Richard hasn’t changed one bit
Smith: That was brutal. I apologize to the fans at home who had to witness such brutality
Hood: This bitch is ready for a challenge, Smith
Smith: Please don’t call her that…but, yes, I agree. It’s time Legion faced someone with a hint of ability...until that happens we won’t know how good she can be
Hood: Yep
Smith: Well we’re off to a fast start here…let’s keep the action rolling as we cut to a scene from earlier today
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
~We cut to earlier in the day as Marcus Welsh seems to be outside the arena eating at one of the places that makes him feel at home. In fact, it is a place where anyone feels like a part of the family. Of course he is dining at none other than the local OLIVE GARDEN. He seems to be enjoying meatball marinara and a glass of red wine when a familiar face in a nice gown sits across from him with a smile on her face, but her eyes are dead serious.~
Brianna Casablancas: You and I need to talk, my love.
~He nearly spits out his expensive wine as he was not expecting to be harassed by an employee during his private time.~
Marcus Welsh: What the hell are you doing here Brianna? How dare you interrupt me at my favorite restaurant?
Brianna Casablancas: Don’t you forget that it is my favorite dining establishment as well.
Marcus Welsh: Well, there is nowhere else to go for authentic Italian cooking and a homely, welcoming feel.
Brianna Casablancas: And all for a reasonable price.
Marcus Welsh: I know, right?
~They both stop complimenting the Olive Garden as he stares at her with distrust and she just smiles politely.~
Marcus Welsh: So ...what are you doing here?
Brianna Casablancas: I don’t think I formerly introduced myself to you yet. I am Brianna Casablancas.
~She gently gives her his hand to shake, but instead he just wipes the spaghetti off his chin with his napkin.~
Marcus Welsh: I know who you are. You were Dean’s little crush that he pushed to the moon because you were cute and that is ALL you ever were. I think you’ll find that things are much different in OCW these days. You need more than just a pretty face and politeness to get by.
~Casablancas removes her hand, understanding that politeness is out the door as far as this man is concerned.~
Brianna Casablancas: Oh, I actually think that things are exactly the same as they used to be, Marcus. The only difference is that our power struggles have gone to the corporate level, which I’m sure happened even before my first stint anyways. Here you are, knowing full well that you’re on the verge of losing your job to Mike Zybala and you are trying to curtail that by making OCW Great Again. All you need now is the red cap.
Marcus Welsh: I left it in the car. And there is no way that Zybala’s captains will be able to pull through at Death March.
Brianna Casablancas: Is that so? Last I checked, Langston is taking out his own men…
Marcus Welsh: ...probably to replace them with better men…
Brianna Casablancas: Your NEW face of OCW is being made to look quite foolish by offering Tony Savage a spot on his team only for Savage to use that offer to get himself a better deal. Essentially, the bloke you chose tried to recruit a guy who made a bloomin’ horses ass out of himself, Collins, and you.
Marcus Welsh: ...Collins assures me it wasn’t a REAL offer…
Brianna Casablancas: And Mack O’Connor wants to forego Death March altogether so he can spoon with OGDA.
Marcus Welsh: ...yeah, I’m not sure what is going on there.
~Brianna leans back in her chair with that wonderful smile on her face.~
Brianna Casablancas: Face it, love. Your plans for Death March are falling apart because your idea of the archetype of a wrestler is flawed. There is no match where this is more clear than the one Alice and I are involved in. Aidan Collins can talk all he wants about how Super Mario All-Stars is slapped together, but the truth is that we are a Hall of Fame tag team and two friends. We have impeccable chemistry. We have you, and Collins for that matter, over a barrel. And, as I pointed out, your chap there seems to be scrambling and compensating real hard right now.
Marcus Welsh: Oh, believe me, he has it under control.
Brianna Casablancas: Oh, I’m sure he thinks he does. Just so you know, I am half expecting this whole deal with Savage to be a rouse to put one over on Team Mario to prove some silly point. Don’t worry when and if Aidan, Bifford, and Savage beat me down in the ring tonight, I’ll feign shock and surprise that it happened.
Marcus Welsh: I’d appreciate that.
~She shrugs at him.~
Brianna Casablancas: Ian literally used to do it to me every single week.
~Marcus stops chewing on his food for a moment.~
Marcus Welsh: Wait ...do you have a crush on TIO.
~Brianna’s smile widens as her face becomes bright red.~
Brianna Casablancas: No ...no, no ...NO! You can’t have a crush on your mortal enemy.
Marcus Welsh: You wrote a two thousand page book on him.
Brianna Casablancas: About what flawed man he is. All the desperate things he tried to do to best me and how he just wanted the title handed to him instead of actually fighting for it. Oh, and lets not forget the time he tried to rape a woman in the ring.
Marcus Welsh: Don’t be an SJW. He just stripped her naked in the ring.
Brianna Casablancas: That is still highly inappropriate. I wrote a book about him to expose how out of control a person’s ego can truly become. It doesn’t matter that he thinks he’s changed. It doesn’t matter that he seems kinder, gentler, and nicer. It doesn’t matter that he has seemingly embraced the fans. It doesn’t matter that there are times you sit up late night thinking “did I have a part in that transformation? Did I possibly get through to him?” That’d be mental, right?
~She stares off longingly for a moment.~
Marcus Welsh: It sounds like you like him.
Brianna Casablancas: YOU LIKE HIM!
~She calms herself as she giggles a little bit, still turning bright red. ~
Brianna Casablancas: Sorry. Where were we?
Marcus Welsh: I have absolutely no idea because you haven’t even gotten to the point yet.
~She settles down in the chair and then pulls out a few files from her purse. She sets them down on the table.~
Brianna Casablancas: My point is that you are just as desperate as Collins is at the moment. You need to diminish Zybala’s forces that are growing stronger and stronger by the week. Even Hood was uncharacteristically praising Houston’s team.
Marcus Welsh: I’m not sure what that was about. It is like he sometimes acts not like himself at the sake of putting some of these teams led by guys he has ALWAYS hated over. And a group of outsiders that our fans are probably not familiar with at that. It makes no sense. I think I need to cut his pay.
Brianna Casablancas: My point is that you were grasping at straws to weaken our team and you found one in the form of my mate’s history of concussions.
Marcus Welsh: Congratulations! You watched a segment that aired to millions of homes worldwide to put that together.
Brianna Casablancas: What you didn’t know is that on top of being her friend, sometime tag team partner, and travelling buddy, I am also her therapist.
Marcus Welsh: That sounds highly unprofessional. Also, you are a psychologist, not a neurosurgeon.
Brianna Casablancas: I’m a better source of information than the masked man you use to do your dirty work.
~She scoots the paperwork closer towards him. She tries her best not to get it near any other the sauce that has fallen onto the table. ~
Brianna Casablancas: You’ll find that, aside from her usual adorably quirky behavior, I have found that she is just fine. There isn’t vomiting or signs of memory loss. Besides, I talk to her. I know her. My studies find that she is mentally and physically able to compete.
Marcus Welsh: You’re her friend. You are bound to be biased.
Brianna Casablancas: You’re right about that first part. I AM her friend. Do you think that I would willingly encourage my friend to compete if I thought that she was in danger of scrambling her brains? No. Of course not. Death March or no Death March, if she was in serious danger, I wouldn’t be here talking to you. Essentially, your findings are false and I have the paperwork to prove it.
~He moves the studies back towards her.~
Marcus Welsh: Sorry Brianna, I trust KNIFE MAN more than I trust you. You clearly have an agenda to put your friend in harm’s way when she can’t compete. I am doing the RIGHT thing by keeping her on the shelf for Death March.
Brianna Casablancas: Bollocks! You know it isn’t going to make a difference, right?
Marcus Welsh: Oh, it will. You’ll be down a man ...errr ...I mean woman ...I mean owl. Whatever she is, she won’t be there. I assure you that Collins has gathered together a formidable team that will take your pitiful band out. There is nothing you can do about and if you don’t like it ...you can do what you did last time you decided to throw a hissy fit and leave for four years. In fact, you can leave now. I need to finish my lunch.
~She thinks about it, but then looks around.~
Brianna Casablancas: I think I’d rather stay. Did you know that you can get refills on any drink here for free?
~Welsh continues to eat his food as he agrees with her.~
Marcus Welsh: IT’S A WONDERFUL RESTAURANT!
Ron Howard Voice-over: It sure is!
~In the distance, Ukulele plays.~
Smith: We’d like to thank Ron Howard for his impromptu involvement in tonight’s broadcast
Hood: EVERYONE is coming out in anticipation of Death March
Smith: Brianna fighting for Alice’s right to
Hood: Party?
Smith: Compete at Death March. I don’t think it’s going to work. I’ve heard Zybala is doing the very same thing. I’m told Zybala is planning on having Alice compete
Hood: Of course that moron would plug Alice into a match of this magnitude. Keep her away from the ring!
Smith: If she’s healthy then I hope she gets the opportunity to compete at Death March. It would be her chance at returning to the OCW Title picture…a title she once held.
Hood: For a glorious week, or two
Smith: It was longer than that!
~The crowd is chilling. An arena full of villains. That is, until “Obsession” by Animotion hits. The fans boo when they see Marcus Welsh emerge from behind the curtain. He’s dancing to the song with Greg clapping alongside. Welsh sings the words to the song…the man is in a GREAT mood. He gets to the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. Greg calmly walks up the steps, entering through the ropes. Welsh returns to his feet and dances a little more before receiving a mic~
Smith: Oh my gosh...MORE Welsh?
Hood: Hey, it's his show...he can do what he wants!
Smith: I think this might be overkill...
Marcus Welsh: GREAT song. Great evening! What a Massacre! Aren’t we all having fun?
~The crowd goes wild~
Marcus Welsh: Yea, I fucking thought so! Death March is in two weeks and victory for one of the Welsh picked teams is all but assured. Zybala’s teams are falling apart! Team OGDA is virtually empty. Team Rhodes is, well, for lack of a better term – extinct.
~The crowd boos Welsh mentioning the sudden departure of a fan favorite. He continues to smile~
Marcus Welsh: Now all that’s left is to prepare the favorites for December 17th. King Infinity, Vincent Langston, Mack O’Connor, and Curt Canon will all be in action next week against CLASSIC OCW competition. I’m talking about John E Depth, Jack Puffer, and Shootah. Give these competitors a tune up before they go to war one week later. And, who knows, maybe…
~Suddenly, Welsh's microphone cuts out in the middle of him talking. The fans cheer and laugh as the general manager throws his microphone and starts yelling for a new one. Before Belvedere can hand him one....~
~The cheers of the fans get loud as "Party Hard" plays over the speakers. Welsh goes into a full-out meltdown as Zybala walks out onto the ramp holding a microphone of his own. The music dies down and Zybala taps the top of his mic. A thud reverberates over the speakers.~
Zybala: Looks like mine works just fine Markie.
~The fans cheer as Greg tries to calm down Welsh by rubbing his shoulders. Welsh is yelling at Zybala, but we can't quite make out what he's saying over the crowd. Zybala leans forward with his hand cupped to his ear.~
Zybala: What's that? It's hard to hear you. Maybe you shouldn't buy the cheapest crap to save a buck. Any ways, I heard you out here, talking about once again, doing the same thing you do before every big ppv spectacular and just put some of our bigger names against our..... enhancement talents as a fluffer to build up to the big show. Now that's all well and good, because who doesn't like a good squash match? But how about we change it up a bit?
~Welsh looks at Zybala cautiously. "What crazy idea has he got in his head this week" the g.m. must be thinking. He tries his microphone again, but still no luck. Welsh motions at Zybala to continue, possibly just to hurry things up so he can veto this idea.~
Zybala: I was thinking next week, instead of four bland squash matches, we have a Beat The Clock challenge! Two people from your team and two people from mine have matches to determine which Death March matches go on first. Now normally coming out last means you're more rested in a royal rumble or gauntlet match, but in at Death March, the later your match, the less time you have to recover. So I figure that for the B.T.C. challenge, whoever has the fastest time, their team has the first match of the night, and more time to rest. The second fastest time gets the second match and so on and so forth.
Now here is what I was thinking. First match we will see representing the Langston match, you will see Vince Langston take on John E. Depth. Then, representing the Collins/Maurako match, Alice Knight will take on Shootah. For the Mack and OGDA match, we will see OGDA versus "The Pokemon Trainer" Soot Losem. And for our main event, representing the Canon v Houston match, you will see the returning C.J. O'Donnell square off against Jack Puffer. Remember, a team member with the fastest win will earn the first match for their team. What do you think Marcus? I know Greg likes it, because he is cool like that, but what do you think "boss?"
~Everyone is silent, waiting to hear what Welsh will say. Welsh taps his microphone and we hear a thud. It's working again. Welsh raises the microphone...~
Marcus Welsh: Alice Knight?! She’s too injured to compete! Are you off your meds again, Zybala?
~Zybala holds up a sheet of paper. We zoom in. It appears to be medical documents clearing Alice for competition. It’s signed by a ‘Doctor Anonymous’.~
Marcus Welsh: Doctor Anonymous? C’mon, there’s no way that’s legal
Mike Zybala: It’s every bit as legal as having a masked man who works on cars for a living tell Alice that she can’t compete. Alice is a go next week, Welsh. She will show everyone that she’s healthy and ready to go for Death March!
Marcus Welsh: Now you listen to me you son…
~Zybala does the ‘throat slit’ and Welsh’s mic goes dead. He throws it into the crowd and kicks at the bottom rope as Zybala’s music starts to play~
Smith: Alice is in action next week! It appears as though she’s going to compete at Death March after all!
Hood: She’s in…she’s out…she’s in…MAKE UP YOUR MINDS
Smith: Zybala is simply fighting for the side of the righteous. Alice has earned this spot and if she’s healthy enough to occupy it then I say go for it, girl!
Hood: Oh fuck off
~Backstage, Tony Savage is sitting backstage on a folding chair. He's smoking a cigar and stacking cash into piles onto a table...~
Savage: Yup, yup. All the Franklin's in one pile, Jackson's in another, Grants go here...
~looks at a pile of one dollar bills off to the side~
Hmmm; George goes into the pile devoted to the "100% chance of rain inside the strip club" budget...
OCW Camerman: Won't your wife get pissed off, you going off to get lap dances from strippers?
Savage: *doesn't even look up, still counting money* Only if I don't bring her along.
Camerman:.....You serious?
Savage: Spoiler alert: She gets more Champagne Room dances than me every Wednesday....
~looks at the camera and winks~
Savage: Told y'all my old lady rocks! Anywho....
~Tony piles up his stacks and puts them in an envelope, puffing smoke out the side of his mouth...~
Savage: Death March about to kick off, and I've been seeing how some of these folks involved operate. Some; they've been smart. Some have been willing to do whatever it takes to win....*holding up that cash stash*...
Some; some proved they're too cheap to pay the price for gold. Now, I told y'all I was going to announce what team I was signing with this week, but...
Let's just say I got a little tip money to keep that a secret for now. They wanna make it a celebration, a little sneak peek of the party we're gonna throw when we win this motherfucker. No spoilers this week, kids, sorry....
They were smart. Aidan's dumb, greasy, box head and cauliflower ear having whiny bitch-ass, on the other hand...
Polar opposite of smart. His ass needs GPS to find the direction to smart. He could've done business, or just kept his mouth shut and privately told me he wasn't interested in my services. But, like some bitch butt-hurt because her Facebook boyfriend unfriended her, he just had to make a scene. Tried acting like I was pissing on an "opportunity" to pair up with a piss baby and his crew of ass kissers, then threw a fit and starting letting shit drip out his mouth in my direction. Fucker made a stink; now...
~That's when Tony pulls out a .40 pistol and waives it around...~
Savage: I show up with my air freshener!!
Camerman: FUCK!
Savage: Don't trip, nobody's getting clapped tonight. Bummer...
I'm just trying to make a point to Rubix Cube Cranium and his yeasty ass vagina...
~says this while taking bullets out of the clip~
Savage: The Mexicans have a saying, Aidan: "Plata O Plomo"
Silver or lead. You do things the right way, you get the silver. You fuck up, act an idiot....
~Tony starts flicking bullets at the camera lens~
You get a different kind of metal put in your ass.
I didn't want any problems with you; all I did was want to do business like a grown up. But you; you had to sit on Santa's lap, throw a fit, and ask to get permanently tattooed onto my shit list for Christmas. Guess what, little boy....
Ask, and ye shall receive!
My goal come Death March is to win. That is my main objective, what I get paid to do. But I get to pull off another chore on my list...
Punking the fuck out of you and your henchmen for trying to make things personal!
You fucked up, bitch. You fucked up real bad. You just proved OCW needs cats on the payroll that know how to conduct business properly, instead of your bullshit paint by the numbers wrestling drama. Your whining, your threats, your rage; all it will get you in a couple of weeks is in a shit-load of trouble.
Whatever happens to you and your pussy crew, remember...
You could've avoided it. It's all going to be on you now.
Team Collins...fuck...*laughing*...
I'm renaming y'all Suicide Squad, Aidan. You got yourself and your friends all killed COME FIGHT NIGHT!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: It sounds like Tony Savage has a team
Hood: And he's going to use that team to get payback on King Infinity
Smith: Indeed...you have to admire Tony's bravado. Aidan Collins is Welsh's golden boy but Tony couldn't care less
Hood: He may regret that come Death March. If gets in the way of King Infinity's coronation I'm sure there will be hell to pay
Smith: Of that I have no doubt. Well fans it's time for our next match of the evening as November Rookie of the Month, Eon Night, looks to remain unbeaten. Let's head down to ringside
|
|
Eon Night (1-0) vs. Mfer (1-1)
~The crowd is in a good mood. That Thanksgiving hangover is all but a faded memory. Death March is TWO WEEKS away. Several big name talents are set to do battle tonight – we’ve already seen a few. They are ready for the next in ring encounter (that reads way too sexual). Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The crowd goes silent. And, I quote “music. Sound. Spaceship. zoom. Pew. Pew.” Rings out. A spaceship lands on the OCWTron screen. Mfer stands out from behind the curtain dressed like an alien (that’s assuming he ISN’T an alien). A loud ‘MOTHER FUCKER’ chant breaks out. Mfer walks strangely to the ring. He inspects the apron. He touches it with the tips of his fingers before slowly placing one leg up followed by the other. He rolls in under the bottom rope~
Belvedere: From a Small Planet in the Eleventh Realm…standing 1,950,720 Microns and walking around at an unknown weight…ladies and gentlemen I give you The Man From The Eleventh Realm!!!
Smith: Mfer looking to rebound after being demolished last week at the hands of Tony Savage
Hood: Tony punched that mother fucker right in the HEART
Smith: It was brutal. Tonight it doesn’t get any easier as he faces the reigning rookie of the month, Eon Night
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~Eon appears at the entrance as the sounds from " Running Blind" fill the arena. He shakes his head and paces slowly towards the ring. He enters the ring and leans on the ropes~
Belvedere: From Parts Unknown, standing 6’2 and weighing in at 242lbs…Eon Night!!!
~Belvedere exits and the bell sounds~
Smith: Eon Night has taken OCW by storm. His signing came with very little fanfare. He was a total unknown. Not much was expected of him but, so far, he’s been a major success
Hood: Yea, Newcomer of the Month for November…that’s how most of the OCW Hall of Famers got their start, by winning that award
Smith: Indeed. If he can defeat Mfer tonight that would only increase an already momentous start to his OCW career
~Mfer holds his finger high in the air. The fans all groan. We even hear one guy yell out “ENOUGH WITH THAT FUCKING FINGER”~
Smith: He’s going to try his one finger style of offense again
Hood: I predict he will have the same amount of success this week as he had last
Smith: I’m afraid you might be right
~Mfer shuffles his feet in a very awkward manner toward Eon. Eon shakes his head wondering why he’s facing this clown. Mfer gets closer~
Smith: I think these OCW rookies are ready for some competition
Hood: That is coming in two weeks. They need to enjoy these wins now because once Death March rolls around they are going to get a hard, cold dose of OCW brutality
~Eon throws a boot into Mfer’s gut!!! He then grabs Mfer by the head and drill him with the TNT DDT!!! Mfer is OUT. Eon makes the cover. The crowd popped hard for the devastating DDT. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…EON NIGHT!!!!
Smith: Another lightning quick match. We aren’t wasting any time tonight, are we?
Hood: On Mfer and Richard Dweck? Why should we?
Smith: Indeed…another great win for Eon Night as he continues to impress
~ After the bell has rung and Eon is sitting in the corner looking pleased with the outcome of the match. The lights begin to flicker on and off. Figure Eight by Trust Company begins to play as Curt Canon, Mike Harrison and “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell show up on stage. Eon uses the top rope to pull himself up as MFer is starting to come to. ~
Smith: “These guys have no business being out here.”
Hood: “Canon is a Hall of Famer he can do whatever he wants.”
~ Harrison, O’Donnell and Canon reach ringside and surround the ring. MFer is back on his feet and puts up his fist. Eon is just smiling from ear to ear telling Team Canon to enter the ring. Curt walks up the ring steps as Harrison hops up on ring apron. CJ slides in the ring. Eon tells him to bring it on and CJ just smiles at him. As The Distinguished gets a running head start at the last moment he turns and connects with Irish Knowledge on MFer. Harrison and Canon come in the ring and begin to stomp away at MFer on the mat. CJ and Eon go nose to nose as Curt shouts at CJ to back off. O’Donnell smirks and takes two steps back as Canon grabs a microphone. Curt tosses CJ the microphone he looks directly at Eon. ~
O’Donnell: “Easy there big guy. We aren’t here to attack you actually it’s quite the opposite. We like your style inside the ring. The ruthless aggression you have once that bell rings it kind of reminds me of all of us. So we had a team discussion and want to know if you wanna join Team Canon at Death March?”
~ He takes a step back, staring holes onto Canon, O’Donnell and Harrison. He shakes his head, looking at the fans and then … ~
Eon: Well, after seeing how you handle business- He looks down at Mfer- I must say that we might have slightly different ideas about how to manage certain situations.
Yet, I must also say that I recognize talent when I see it..
An offer from an Hall Of Famer and two highly skilled wrestlers, to join their team for Death March?
~ Eon shakes his head, looks at the fans again and then.. ~
Eon: …I accept!
~ He steps forward and shakes hands with Canon, O´Donnell and Harrison. ~
Smith: Eon Night is on Team Canon! What a tremendous addition!
Hood: Hell yea! Get the rookie, bring him in, lean on his energy while taking him under your wing. Classic CJ O'Donnell...I'm so glad he's back
Smith: It's team CURT not team CJ
Hood: Haha, we'll see
Smith: Well that rounds out Team Canon and what a team it is...Team Houston is going to have their hands full. Let's head backstage
~The camera opens up backstage onto Aidan Collins and Big Bifford. They are in front of a chain link fence that has been set up as a background, giving the image a very vintage 90’s feel~
Aidan Collins: Ladies and gentlemen, we are two weeks away from Death March. While other teams have been imploding from the inside, Team Collins has only been gaining momentum. Unlike some others, I didn’t rush to put my team together. I decided to set back and thoroughly vet potential candidates. Certain wrestlers, like Big Bifford here…
~Aidan pats Bifford on the back, but the big man barely moves~
Aidan Collins: …have fit right in and immediately proven themselves to be big-time threats. While Melinda Rhodes was tying her beef curtains into a knot and Alice Knight was being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s, Aidan Collins was doing his fucking homework and making sure that Team Collins was on the path to certain victory. Isn’t that right, Bifford?
~Bifford doesn’t respond at all. Aidan rolls his eyes before yelling right at Biff~
Aidan Collins: ISN’T THAT RIGHT, BIFFORD!?
~Big Bifford is shaken into consciousness and points at the camera, as he was likely instructed to do~
Big Bifford: YES!
~Aidan chuckles, somewhat amused by the big fella~
Aidan Collins: That’s damn straight, Bifford. We’re going to roll into Death March and MURDER Maurako’s Marauders. The fact is that Mario Maurako added a broken Alice Knight onto his team…and that’s given me the opportunity to add a man who helped break her when he gave her a concussion back in May!
~The crowd pops in the arena, knowing who he’s referring to~
Aidan Collins: I present to you the THIRD member of Team Collins…. ROACH!
~Roach appears, as Aidan cheers him on. Even Bifford seems impressed, nodding in approval and patting his belly. Roach has a new mask on. It eerily resembles THE KNIFE MAN'S mask~
Roach: Roach is back, you stupid fucks!
~Aidan looks at the two men beside him and looks proud of himself for selecting them to be on his team~
Aidan Collins: What I’ve done with my team is add two OCW superstars that are willing to do whatever it takes to win. Big Bifford and Roach are legends around these parts; there’s nothing that Team Maurako can throw at them that they haven’t already seen… Next week, though.
~Aidan rubs his hands together~
Aidan Collins: Next week I’m going to announce my last partner and it’s a name that will shock wrestling fans across the globe. I’ve set a foundation for this team…Now it’s just time to go out and add some style. Make sure to tune in next week, because I’m about to blow the doors off this bitch.
~Aidan takes a breath before saying his catchphrase and life motto~
Aidan Collins: Truth Until Death.
Roach: YOUR DEATH!
~Even though Aidan is surprised by Roach yelling out after Aidan said his tagline, he seems entertained by Roach’s enthusiasm.~
Smith: Wow! Roach!? I’m actually in shock that Aidan Collins went this direction with his second partner.
Hood: He must really be up to something now, eh? While Maurako was adding beautiful women to team with him, Aidan Collins grabbed himself two of the meanest stars OCW has ever seen. I have to give it to King Infinity, he always has a reason for his actions.
Smith: It certainly seems that way…and how about that announcement for a fourth partner? Who could that be?
Hood: I don’t know, to be perfectly honest. With the way Aidan has been selecting teammates, it seems like it could be anyone. One thing is for certain though, Aidan is doing his best to put together a team specifically tailored to defeat Team Maurako!
~Marcus Welsh stands in the middle of the ring, having made his way down during King Infinity's announcement. His music did not play out of respect for King Infinity. Although the crowd is quiet, there are some stray “boos” that can be heard here and there. Welsh smiles as he hears them~
Smith: Again?! This is too much
Hood: The guy runs the place. He can literally take up the entire show reading Ulysses by James Joyce if he wanted to
Smith: Oh dear
~Welsh smiles as the crowd continues to boo. They are obviously sick of seeing him...on top of everything else he represents~
Welsh: Go ahead. Let it out.
~The crowd rains boos down upon Welsh. He just smiles, enjoying the hate as if it were a chorus of cheers. Once they die down, he continues~
Welsh: I’m glad to know you all approve of the job I’m doing here. And I can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t. This new era of OCW has been by far the most talented, most entertaining, and most competitive era in company history. I mean just look at King Infinity! Look at that team he's putting together. That man is the FUTURE of this company. Great team, Aidan!
~BOOOO goes the crowd~
Marcus Welsh: You see, before I took over this place was run by a guy named Dean. Yea, Dean. That’s it. Just, Dean. I mean, what kind of a name is DEAN? The name says it all, really. He allowed a select chosen few to run this place. You saw one of those dinosaurs open the show last week.
~The crowd goes wild. A “LURRR” chant fires up~
Welsh: Yea, yea, chant that nonexistent word all you want. He can be the special ref, that’s fine. But he will get in line, just like everyone else in this company if he wants to have a future around here. There are no hand outs. There are no special privileges. This new era of OCW is all about competition. Zybala, another stupid name, seeks to destroy that. He seeks to destroy the Meyhus...the King Infinitys. He seeks to take them down in the name of the weirdos running the asylum like they did under Dean’s watch. Well I’m here to tell you that won’t happen. That’s why I’ve aligned myself with the most talented men in this company...even if we don’t all see eye to eye. We all understand...
~”Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers suddenly blares across the arena. The crowd’s first instinct is to cheer, but they hold back for obvious reasons as Mack O’Connor slowly walks out onto the stage. He’s wearing loose jeans, a black wife beater, and a leather jacket. He holds a microphone in his hand as he makes his way center stage~
Mack: Are you fuckin’ done yet?
~The crowd gives a cheap pop for the slight to Welsh~
Mack: Where should I even begin… You like to go on and on about this new era of OCW. This new batch of daytime soap opera stereotypes. First it was the Josie Barnes and the Emerys. Then the likes of Andrea Hernandez. Hell, you even brought Casablancas back into the fold. Only thing you did right was fire Rhodes. But if we’re being honest, I should take more credit for that than you. So what can we give you credit for? How about bringing back CJ O’Donnell? Otherwise known as the sexual predator slash villain straight from a children’s movie. What are you going for, Marcus? At one point we were billed as Monday night primetime on Starz. Now it seems like you’re trying to be “Thank God It’s Thursday” on ABC? Are you honestly trying to run an organization where I’m considered a dirty fighter when a wrestler like Josie...Ahem… Hernandez can’t handle a single punch? What kind of place are you trying to build here, Marcus? Are we catering to adults? Or are you trying to pull from Nickelodeon and Disney’s demographic?
~Welsh looks unamused: He’s heard this all before from Mack. However, the crowd is slowly starting to get behind Mack~
Welsh: Get to the point, O’Connor. I have Zybala ideas I need to veto.
Mack: Fair enough. I’m sick of watching this organization, an organization I’ve come to love, be overtaken by emotional snowflakes. By drama queens. I’m tired of seeing our beloved commentators forcing diarrhea out of their mouths such as “Matt Meyhu is the most dominant champion of our time.” No special privileges? No hand outs? Give me a break. I’m tired of all the gerrymandering happening in this company, relatively speaking. And I ain’t the only one.
Welsh: You’re not?
Mack: Nope.
~”Can’t be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr ROCKS the arena. The crowd explodes in excitement to the rap as it controls the soundwaves not quite knowing what’s in store for them.~
“Open your hearts for me, look what I got for you
~If Welsh rolled his eyes any harder he would probably lose them somewhere in back of his head. Mack smirks as he awaits his teammate. Nearly the entire song plays before pyros blast off at the entrance as a figure makes his way through the smoke. Mack doesn't even flinch as the pyros go off. He stands there relishing in the moment. The man comes out of the smoke wearing black jeans and a white sleeveless t-shirt. A flag is wrapped around his shoulders and over his head. As we see closer we see that the flag is none other than the STARS and BARS! The flag of the SOUTH! The man tosses the flag onto the floor revealing none other than “THE CONFEDERATE ICON” Chad Vargas! The crowd erupts! This team is finally shaping up. OCW fans are so tired of the ridiculousness that they see night in and night out! Vargas raises his arms in the air taking in the energy from the crowd. He nods to Mack giving him a pat on the shoulder. Vargas whips around and stares down at Marcus Welsh in the ring. Before Welsh can roll his eyes any further Vargas reaches both arms out and gives him the two finger salute. Welsh stares at the guys on the ramp with disgust.~
Smith: Well, that’s likely a fine for the returning Chad Vargas.
Hood: Mother fucker march down there and flatline his ass!
Smith: You realize that’s our boss, right?
Hood: I don’t see his name on my paychecks! All I see is Jimmy Buffett!
~Mack slowly steps to the side as Vargas takes center stage. Vargas outstretches his arm as the two shake hands, Vargas nods with a smile at his longtime friend sometimes foe. Welsh doesn’t look happy about the situation especially with Vargas’ antics. But, he keeps his composure but stands ready incase anything goes down as Vargas pulls a microphone from his back pocket and raises it to his lips~
Vargas: I know, I know. Crap ass rap. Can you believe it? First time for everything, I know. I know. I will say… Roy Jones Jr gets me fired up! Ahh? What you think guys?
~Mack shrugs lifting his hands as if to say “Whatever.” The delivers a cheap pop.~
Vargas: What you think Welsh? You like it, hoss?
~Welsh snarls. Standing there stone faced looking back at Vargas. Probably the two employees he hates the most on the stage, blocking him from comfortably leaving.~
Vargas: Yeah… I took you for a techno guy, Marky. I can respect that. That’s probably the only thing I respect about you!
~The crowd cheers as Vargas lowers his microphone. Mack steps forward again~
Mack: If you’re not getting the picture, Welsh, I’m introducing you to the first member of my Death March team.
~The crowd gives a pop for the pairing. Welsh just shrugs~
Welsh: Chad Vargas? Really?
~Welsh becomes extremely sarcastic~
Welsh: Wow, didn’t see that coming. Mack O’Connor and Chad Vargas teaming up? Yeah, so unpredictable.
Vargas: I suppose you are the model of unpredictability these days huh? Bringing back all these fossils like Brianna Casablancas and thinking people actually give a fuck about her? Or hiring every new rookie you possibly can to keep this place fresh. It’s a business, I get that - but you ain’t got nobody that actually draws money these days. Your moneymakers are on this stage right now! Look at your champion: Stale. Burnt toast. You guys coddle him so much, but he isn’t shit and we all know it. In pre-Welsh OCW, the guy would be opening the show against Crazy Chris every Monday night! In THAT OCW, CJ O’Donnell would have been fired after his first lewd act! We don’t need sexual deviants here! I could go on, but... Mack is the captain. I’m just here for the ride, but I’m looking forward to being apart of DEATH MARCH! It may be my last hoorah so I’m going out with a bang!
~Welsh looks at Vargas with a blank stare as Vargas’ smirks back at him. Vargas tosses the microphone on the concrete and leans back, getting comfortable as he looks at Mack and nods. As if to say ‘take it away.’~
Mack: True, probably predictable considering our history and the fact we share the same agent. But hey, I’ll take what I can get. Vargas and I are the same in a way: We don’t have many friends in that locker room. So, when looking for my team, he was an obvious pick. For the rest? I knew I needed some help. So I had to put aside my pride and ask for it. I had to look for someone to give me some guidance.
~“Voodoo Child” by Jimmy Hendrix blares across the arena. Welsh, along with the majority of the audience, looks confused for a moment. As the music continues to play, the crowd realizes what’s happening and they start going wild. Welsh also catches on, and he looks irate.~
~As the music really picks up, the one and only Dean steps out on the stage. He takes a few moments to get the crowd pumped: It’s his first time in the arena in such a long time. He really takes his time to enjoy himself: Walking back and forth on the stage, hyping up the crowd, and dancing a bit.~
Smith: Look Hood, it’s Dean!
Hood: Yea, yea I see him. The man responsible for bringing us all this Outsider bullshit Welsh keeps trying to veto away.
Smith: A failed experiment, to be sure. But Dean is the man responsible for creating OCW. Without him none of this would be possible.
Hood: Yea and I might be in Vegas hosting the AVN Awards
Smith: I haven’t heard of those
Hood: Of course you haven’t
~Dean finally calms down from the rush of the crowd, and he puts his microphone to his lips~
Dean: What’s up SUCKAAAAAS!
~The crowd goes wild. Dean does a one handed ‘raise the roof’ gesture. He realizes it’s old and lame but, hey, it’s his gimmick so what are you gonna do?~
Dean: That’s right! Dean has come back home! I’m sure you’re all wondering where the hell I’ve been but we’ll save those details for another time. Perhaps a book entitled “Sucka: the Dean Story”. It’s a working title. Anyhow I’ve been sittin at home watchin OCW and I gotta tell ya...shit just ain’t been right since I left. We got guys like Meyhu and Collins and some guy named Hotstuff runnin the show. What ever happened to the OG OCW? Whatever happened to the creativity, the originality? Whatever happened to OUR OCW? This new age OCW is a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me. Buncha suckas yammerin about shit that don’t mean nothin.
~The crowd pops for Dean’s HOT TAKE on 2018 OCW~
Dean: But I wasn’t going to do anything. I wasn’t going to get involved. I’m a man of my word, afterall. But then my phone rang. It was this bald mother fucker over here. Mack O’Connor, the man who helped lead OCW through turmoil in 2014 and into greatness at the start of 2015. He was tasked with putting together a team for this Death March concept and I told him I’d be more than happy to help him scout out the proper talent to ensure that some old school, some OG blood takes it all the way.
~The crowd erupts into cheers again~
Mack: Dean has been a great help. Thanks to him, Vargas and I were linked up with another former champ who feels the same as we do. Although I’ve crossed this guy’s path several times, I was never chummy with the man.
Welsh: Who the fuck would fight alongside you and Vargas?
~”Smart Went Crazy” by Atmosphere suddenly sounds over the PA system. The crowd explodes into cheers as Bob Grenier steps out onto the stage. Welsh’s level of annoyance has risen to a new level. Grenier takes in the energy from the crowd for a moment before turning to Mack. He puts a microphone up to his mouth~
Grenier: Mack...
~Grenier slowly approaches Mack~
Grenier: Mack, Mack, Mack...
~He stands face to face with Mack, apparently trying to intimidate him. After a moment he breaks the facade and smiles.~
Grenier: Glad to be on board, you piece of shit.
~Grenier and Mack both laugh as they shake hands. Grenier takes center stage, taking time to address the crowd and Welsh~
Grenier: There is no doubt that my career is at a standstill. I will not deny the fact I’ve hit the bottom of the barrell. When you are at your lowest point, that is the point you must look to the people you know best. When a new war breaks out why not stand with the people you have previously gone to war with?
~Grenier turns and looks at Vargas. He steps towards him and neither man flinches. This has been a storied rivalry in OCW and the crowd knows it. Vargas and Grenier stand nose to nose and utter a few choice words to each other before shaking hands.~
Grenier: The other offer on the table seemed a little lackluster compared to this. We are all former OCW Champions, We are hall of famers. Team O’Connor is as good as it’s fucking gonna get. Matt Meyhu, by the time one of us is finished with you, the others will be sure to send regards to your poor momma who is gonna have to wheel you around for the rest of your miserable life. Our champion, the face of the company, is a goddamn joke. Somewhere along the lines they all forgot who paved the way.
~He stops and looks at both Mack O’Connor and Chad Vargas, giving them each a nod of appreciation, before looking back down at the ring to Welsh~
Bob: But you sure did forget. There is no reason I should ever be left of an OCW PPV and I’ve missed two in a row, first time ever.. Under your watchful eye, the last two OCW events have lacked the star power they need. So when Dean pitched this... Instantly, I’m all in.
~The crowd lets out one more cheer as Grenier lowers his microphone. Mack takes center stage again, raising the microphone to his lips~
Mack: Even Lurrr, one of the true legends who built this company, is disgusted at what you’ve done. And now you got three more Hall of Famers who are all in agreement. Three former World Champions who all see that this company’s reputation is falling faster than Jade Spritz’ panties. And we have another former World Champ who also sees things the way we do.
Welsh: Somehow I doubt that.
Mack: Keep on doubting. But it’s very much a reality. Only difference between us and him? He never got a chance to defend his title.
Welsh: Wait…
~”Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor blares across the arena. The audience explodes in cheers as Welsh looks borderline horrified. After a moment, PerZag walks out on the stage. He shakes hands with Vargas, Grenier, and Mack. Dean gives him a big hug, which he reciprocates. He steps forward center stage, raising a microphone to his lips~
PerZag: Well, it’s good to be back.
~The crowd starts cheering again, louder than before, putting a smile on to the face of PerZag as he drops the mic down to his side. He brings the mic back up to his lips, shushing the crowd, who all quiet down within a couple of seconds.~
PerZag: I can tell you this, I was not expecting a reaction like that. What has it been? A year? More? I thought there would at least be a bit of hatred still there from all the shit i’ve done, but I guess that really doesn’t matter now, does it?
~PerZag looks around at his comrades on stage, before directing his attention back to the crowd, and of course, Marcus Welsh.~
PerZag: Well, did any of you expect this? The return of your rightful OCW Champion. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m not technically the champion. But like Mack said, I never lost it either. But, all of that is for another time. OCW Champion or not, I can tell you all this, I never expected a return like this. Never like this. I waited for a call for a really long time. The call to return to OCW. The call to bring The Worthiest of All back to the ring. But Marcus, you never made that call. No, that had to be fucking Mack O’Connor.
~PerZag turns around, and points at Mack O’Connor.~
PerZag: Well, imagine my confusion to this call. Mack O’Connor wanted to bring me back. He wanted to bring me back. And I can tell you this, he and I do not see eye to eye. Not one bit. No, I guess if things were like they used to be, I’d probably be back here blindsiding him. And why? Because Dean over here would have made the call to bring me back to OCW.
~PerZag walks over to Dean, and puts out his fist, getting a fist bump from him.~
PerZag: So, there I was, Mack O’Connor on the other end of the phone asking me to be a part of his team. A part of a team involving Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas. Two other men I do not get along with. Sure Bob and I teamed up before, but we do not get along now. And Chad, well, he’s a wanker, but he knows that. I’m sure of it.
~PerZag looks at Chad who rolls his eyes, lifting his right hand up, moving his fingers up and down as if to say ‘Keep on talkin’~
PerZag: But, the thing is, this so-called new era of OCW, is a bunch of crap. I mean Mack told me all about it on the phone. All these new no-talented losers coming in and winning championships, and getting title shots. And Matt Meyhu as champion. Seriously, what a heap of shit this new era has been. So, when Mack said he wanted us to team up and represent the greatest era of OCW, our fucking era, I was more than delighted.
~PerZag turns around, high-fiving Mack, Bob and Chad.~
PerZag: No matter what, OCW is here now, because of the four of us. Sure I haven’t been here this year, but since 2014, along with these three guys, we have been back for OCW, no matter what. There is no OCW without us. So, at Death March, not only will we show everyone what a true OCW competitor is, but we will wipe out all these fresh faces of OCW that claim they are the best of this new era. And as for the OCW Championship, well that will be back where it belongs. On the shoulder of one of us.
~PerZag stares down at Marcus Welsh, with his arms stretched out to his sides.~
PerZag: And that leaves me with one thing to say……
~PerZag turns his attention to the crowd.~
PerZag: THE WORTHIEST OF ALL IS BACK!
~The crowd explodes into cheers again. Welsh puts the microphone to his lips~
Welsh: Look, I don’t give a shit. I don’t give one shit about any of you. Mack... You son of a bitch… The captain of this washed up team... You understand you’re on my side of this tournament, right? You know that you’re fighting to make sure that I stay in power, yeah? You understand this? So I couldn’t be happier that you assembled a team of former champions. You’re all fighting in my honor.
~The crowd remains somewhat quiet. Mack steps forward on the stage, smiling~
Mack: I understand. I do. But I don’t care about that. I don’t care about you or Zybala. It doesn’t matter. You didn’t just give me power to put together a team to fight for you. No, that’s not just it… You gave me the power to pick three of the best for a shot at dethroning your precious, pretty boy Meyhu. You gave me the opportunity to stop you from taking this company in a downward spiral. I don’t give a shit if its you or Zybala sitting in the big office at the end of the day… In the end, the four…
~Mack glances at Dean, smirking~
Mack: Excuse me… In the end, the FIVE of us are going to be running the show here.
~Vargas, Grenier, PerZag, and Dean all step forward on each side of Mack~
Mack: On December 17th at Death March, you won’t be seeing Team O’Connor. This is Team OCW, bitch.
~”Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits the sound system again. The crowd, surprisingly, cheers loudly for Team O’Connor. The group of men all react to the crowd, raising their arms and such. Dean “raises the roof” once again, bringing out more cheers. Welsh looks beyond annoyed, standing still just staring at the stage in disbelief. As the crowd hits their peak, the group all flip off Welsh simultaneously. Welsh does not respond, simply exhausted from the last few minutes. The group poses for the crowd one more time before exiting to the backstage area~
Smith: Mack O'Connor has put together, with the aid of Dean, an all star lineup!
Hood: The good news is Mack O'Connor has, maybe, the most talented team heading into Death March. The bad news...well it's pretty much the same thing. Welsh is making a deal with the devil here...he's enabled Mack and now, if Mack should win, he would have to find a way to disable Mack
Smith: What a moment...so great to see Dean back!
Hood: Yea I bet he isn't around very long. No way Welsh is going to let him roam the hallways spewing his propaganda
Smith: You're probably right about that. I wonder if our beloved GM will remain backstage for the rest of the evening
Hood: I would if I were him...every time he comes out here to brag about something shit winds up turning sidways
Smith: This has not been a great night for Marcus Welsh
You in the presence of greatness, I’ll make it hot for you
Pass the rock to me, Block and I’ll run with it
Here for the game, And all the pussy that come with it
So full of focus, I’m insistent on keeping it going
The Franchise, I exist in a league of my own
Expect attention unfamiliar with being ignored
The truth back, came in, locking and closing the door
Brick wall in the road, I won’t move
The king, I’m like Roy in the ring, I can’t lose
Show the face of what compares to mine
You wanna war, Mother fucker I ain’t hard to find
Now holla back, nigga”
~We cut to the office of Marcus Welsh. He is studying a board that displays his main threats for Death March. The names "Melinda Rhodes", "James Spade", and "Bruce Rage" have all been slashed out. We also see the name Alice Knight. It's got question marks and erased slashes all around it...including what looks like the impact of an angry fist. Behind Welsh, Greg is checking his cell phone for new recipes he could use. The door bangs open, scaring Greg badly enough to make him drop his phone. Vincent "The Legend" Langston walks in and stands in front of Marcus, who is doing his best not to look intimidated.~
Marcus Welsh: Thanks for coming, Mr. Langston. We need to talk.
~Langston doesn't say anything. He just stands here staring at Welsh.~
Marcus Welsh: Look, things have really gone off the deep end in your scheduled match at Death March. What with you 'removing' all of your teammates and Rhodes pissing everyone off and getting herself and her husband fired, your contest is really fucked up.
Vincent Langston: Everyone who was unworthy has been removed. I didn't expect that to be the Rebel, but she brought about her own fate and got herself eliminated. She apparently couldn't handle the pressure of the fight. I think that puts me in the finals.
~Langston would have rather proven himself against Rhodes to show who the better team member was of the Legendary Trifecta, but he's also focused on the other fighters. Welsh looks annoyed, staring at a sheet of paper in front of him.~
Marcus Welsh: That's tempting Vincent, it really is, but Zybala's rigged rules for this show won't allow that. You have to earn your way into the finals. But don't worry, I'm working this out for you. You need team members, and I found some for you.
Vincent Langston: I already have allies.
~Welsh shakes his head at this, since Langston has not revealed who, if anyone, is working with him since the departures of Cain, Rowe, & Vossler.~
Marcus Welsh: Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't believe you, but I've got a lot riding on this, and I can't take any chances. So I made some calls and I've got you a great tag-team to join with you. They have won championships all over the world, and they want another chance here in OCW.
~Welsh hands Langston a folder, and he opens it, reading the information within. Greg tries to quietly sneak a peek at the folder, but he's too far away, and he's not getting any closer to the Legend.~
Vincent Langston: These men.. are acceptable.
Marcus Welsh: Great! Now you just bring in whoever is your best guy of whoever you've got, and you'll have a team.
Vincent Langston: You're forgetting one thing. Rhodes is gone. Spade is gone. Who will I be fighting?
Marcus Welsh: Don't you worry, Vincent. I've got that covered. Since Zybala has been slow to announce a replacement, I'm going to fill the team myself. Send them in!
~Welsh says this last part into the intercom. The door opens and three men walk slowly into the room. Detective Jack Puffer, John E. Depth, and Shootah stand on the opposite side of the room, as far from Langston as they can get. None of them look too happy. Neither does Langston.~
Marcus Welsh: These three will fight you. We'll throw another scrub off the stre-, I mean, strong competitor into the match with you.
~Langston leans over the desk, glaring at Welsh, who, to his credit, doesn't blink.~
Vincent Langston: I came to OCW for the best fighters in the world. You expect me to enter a ring in competition against them?
Marcus Welsh: No, you're not thinking this through. Remember, once your team wins, you'll make it to the finals, and that's where the best of the best will be left. That's exactly what you're wanting, isn't it?
~Langston considers Welsh's words, then slowly nods.~
Vincent Langston: If this is what it takes.. I accept.
~Langston turns to leave. Before heading out the door, he twists his head and takes a single step towards the three men. Shootah collapses in terror, remembering what Langston has done to him in the past. Depth hides behind Puffer, who appears to be lost in thought. Langston then leaves, as Welsh relaxes.~
Marcus Welsh: That went better than I expected. I can't wait to see the look on Zybala's face when he hears about this.
~Welsh goes back to the paperwork on his desk, still laughing under his breath. Greg taps him on the shoulder, then points to the corner, where Puffer, Depth, & a collapsed Shootah are still there. There may have been a bit of a mess made. Welsh sighs and calls for a clean-up crew, as we go back to ringside.~
Smith: Really? Welsh thinks that's a worthy team for Death March?
Hood: He's making sure we get our money's worth, Smith. The show must go on, and Zybala was dropping the ball in finding a replacement! You wouldn't want The Legend to show up at Death March without someone to fight, would you? He would NOT be happy.
Smith: That's.. a good point.
|
|
Singles Match
“King Infinity” Aidan Collins (3-0) vs. Tony the Spider (7-5)
~The crowd is on fire! What a start to the show! Some impressive early victories along with intriguing angles and a continued build toward Death March! Christmas (or Hanukkah…or, fuck it, even Kwanzaa) has come early!! These fans are discussing how gay the term “elf on the shelf” is when Belvedere clears his throat. They go wild! It’s time for some more in ring action~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~”JUMP” by Van Halen begins to play. Smoke fills the entrance way as TONY THE SPIDER emerges! The crowd goes wild! Tony looks bigger than ever. His mullet is in FULL FORCE. Some smoke gets in his eyes. He fires up and kicks the smoke machine out of the way. It flies into the crowd possibly injuring some fans. The cheers die down as the fans seem concerned. A red faced Tony marches down the ramp, toward the ring. He rolls in under the bottom rope~
Belvedere: From Emilio’s Garage…standing 5’6 and weighing at a weight considerably over 190lbs…Tony the Spider!
~Tony flexes his surprisingly toned biceps while yelling out “YAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” The crowd is pretty quiet. They don’t know how to take this ‘new’ Tony~
Smith: Tony looking more buffed than ever
Hood: Those vitamins he’s taking seem to be working
Smith: I just hope Sally Mander is okay
Hood: Who gives a fuck about her
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~As the beginning chords of "The Penetrating Eye" by Thee Oh Sees begins to play, a shower of sparks falls from the ceiling brightening the arena. Through the embers that fall gracefully onto the entrance ramp, the titantron shows an image of view of a camera zooming in on a star. The camera rises from their seats, anticipating the emergence of the New Face of OCW...~
BAM!
~As the main guitar riff from "The Penetrating Eye" kicks in, a firecracker bursts on the stage and the shower of sparks ends. Accompanying the loud crack of the explosive, the star on the tron explodes. In the newfound space, a name is displayed:~
Aidan Collins
King Infinity
~When Aidan Collins makes his way from the back, the crowd responds loudly--mostly with jeers and booing, but also with a fair amount of very loud cheers. Aidan stops on the stage to stare out at the crowd, taking in the reaction with a slight smirk. Turning, he holds out his arms to display his ring jacket, a biker-style jean jacket that is filled with psychedelic patches (including one across the shoulders that says 'KING INFINITY'). Aidan turns back around and takes a deep breath before focusing his attention on the ring~
~On his way down the entrance ramp, Aidan yells out to the crowd that he's the best. As they boo him, he holds his hand to his ear, encouraging them to get riled up.~
~After walking up the ring steps to enter the ring, Aidan quickly gets onto the nearest second turnbuckle, facing the audience. There, he takes off his jacket and makes it seem like he will throw the crowd the jacket before casually dropping it on the floor next to the ring, much to their disappointment. Aidan takes one last moment to assess the crowd before jumping down from the corner. He is now ready to compete.~
Belvedere: From Hell’s Kitchen, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs…he is the FUTURE of OCW…ladies and gentlemen please welcome, making his Massacre debut…“King Infinity” Aidan Collins!!!
Smith: Ugh
Hood: You swallow one of Alice’s flies?
Smith: NO! I’m just disgusted by this man and everything he’s been GIVEN by this company
Hood: Excuse me? Am I blind or hasn’t he defeated both Alice Knight AND OGDA since joining…not to mention the fact he’s beltless. Seems like if he were sucking on some kind of ridiculous silver spoon handed by Marcus Welsh he’d have a championship around his waist…to me, anyway
Smith: You know what I mean
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits. King Infinity looks over at Tony. Tony may be bigger, more muscular but he’s still – Tony. He’s got his wild mullet and his stupid looking shades. His double chin remains in FULL FORCE. He’s laughing while his hands are placed atop his hips. Aidan seems nonplussed by this man. Normally he might be offended over someone laughing at him but, again, it’s Tony~
Smith: Is this Tony trying to psyche King Infinity out?
Hood: Nope, that’s just Tony
Smith: Yea, I think you’re right. I was wondering if perhaps the increased muscle mass altered his in ring psychology
Hood: Whatever…muscles seem to make people dumber, Smith. Not smarter.
~Tony the Spider begins to flex. King Infinity scoffs at the man. He points at Tony as if to say “Seriously? THIS is my opponent?” Tony reaches over and grabs the top rope. He begins to shake it to, we can only assume, obtain energy. Collins shakes his head at the man~
Smith: Tony the Spider proving that you can never be too old to act like a child
Hood: The guy has kids, Smith. What a world we live in
Smith: Indeed
~Collins snaps his fingers at Tony. It gets Tony’s attention. Aidan flexes and dares Tony to do the same so the crowd can compare. Tony laughs and lifts both arms up, flexing his mediocre biceps. Collins rushes forward and dives right through Tony with an upper body spear (The Ice Pick)!! The crowd BOOOS heavily. Aidan returns to his feet and looks down at Tony…he appears annoyed. He wipes off the shoulder he used to spear Tony with~
Smith: What a jerk!
Hood: What do you mean? The object is to win!
Smith: Yea but he didn’t have to do THAT. Just go out there and defeat him
Hood: He’s using his head, Smith. That’s why King Infinity is the new FACE of OCW
~Collins aggressively yanks Tony to his feet via a wrist lock. Once on his feet, Aidan violently yanks Tony forward and drills him with HELL’S KALEIDOSCOPE!!! Tony flips inside out before landing on his back. Aidan places one foot on Tony’s chest while smirking toward the camera. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…“KING INFINITY” AIDAN COLLINS!!!!!
Smith: Total humiliation. Utter domination. I may not like the man but he is good
Hood: Good? He’s fucking transcendent, Smith! This man is going to take OCW to heights we’ve never dreamed! I can’t wait for the ride!
Smith: Yea well he’s already made a list of enemies. He’s got Team Maurako ready to end this run of his…not to mention an agitated Tony Savage
Hood: Line them up and King Infinity will knock them down!
Smith: That remains to be seen
~Jump cut to the office of Marcus Welsh. The door was blasted open without even the semblance of a knock!~
Marcus Welsh: Jac --
~In the office stormed the B-List Sensation Jacob Hotstuff, and as seen last week, stunt double “The Greatest Wrestler Money Can Buy”, Adrian Turner, whom was stood close by his employer’s side.~
Jacob Hotstuff: I’m not in the mood, Welsh. What the hell is this?! First your finance department pulls that stunt on me last week, now you fire my tag team partner?! How am I supposed to be your ratings draw striving to “revitalize the OCW Tag Team Championships” when you fire one-half of my team! And we have to defend these titles tonight because of some ploy your right-hand idiot Zybala cobbled together?!
Marcus Welsh: Jacob, Jacob, I get that you’re upset, but try to understand this is out of my hands. Bruce Rage had to be let go due to a breech in his contract, my hands are tied there...but hey, at least you don’t have to worry about Melinda Rhodes getting in your way any more, right?
Jacob Hotstuff: ...Well that’s true I guess. I wish you would have come to me first, or at least...God, how on Earth am I supposed to defend these titles by myself? And I’m supposed to still appear on free television too? This is getting out of hand, Welsh…
~Welsh sits back in his chair in thought while Jacob angrily paces the room. Suddenly, the boss man perks up like a light bulb appeared over his head.~
Marcus Welsh: What if you don’t have to?
Jacob Hotstuff: What exactly does that mean? You mean I’m off the hook for title defenses?
Marcus Welsh: Nonono, there’s no way Finance would OK that. What I’m saying, is you see that man standing at your side? What if he just filled in for Bruce? Nothing has to get shuffled around, no one has to lose a title...just a simple few pen strokes and I can make this official myself.
~Jacob stops pacing and takes a moment to mull it over. He calls Adrian over and the two “huddle” over the plan.~
Adrian Turner: Mr. Welsh...I think you may be onto something.
~Jacob nodded in agreement.~
Jacob Hotstuff: While the Bro Code may have died as soon as you tendered the resignation, a new entity has already arisen. An entity that stands for the betterment of OCW…
Adrian Turner: A Republic, if you will.
Jacob Hotstuff: That’s brilliant. The Republic For a Better OCW. You can just call us The Republic for short.
Marcus Welsh: I think we just made another “Welsh Original”. The second of it’s kind..
Jacob Hotstuff: You see, that’s why we make such a great team, you and I, Welsh. When you need an idea, I have one. When I need an idea, you have my back.
Marcus Welsh: Isn’t that how the great partnerships of all time work?
Jacob Hotstuff: Correct.
~Adrian reaches off camera to bring three glasses on screen. Welsh, seeing the glasses, reaches under his desk for a bottle, pouring a celebratory drink for the trio. Adrian lifts his to toast.~
Adrian Turner: Then to The Republic, the future, of the OCW’s entire existence.
Jacob Hotstuff: I’ll drink to that.
~The three take their drinks as the camera cuts back to Hood and Smith.~
Smith: Welsh continuing to appease the biggest jerks on the roster
Hood: Hotstuff is one of the biggest stars we've got...he'd be a fool to not placate the man...who, by the way, is now a TWO TIME TAG TEAM CHAMPION
Smith: He is not!
Hood: Oh yes he is
Smith: Well then those stats are padded! We need and asterisk
Hood: Nope...two time tag champ, Smithy. TWO TIME
~Mack O'Connor and Dean are backstage. They shake hands and pull it in to a bro-hug.~
Mack: Thanks again, Dean. Your help was and is much appreciated.
Dean: Of course, brotha. Remember, this company wouldn't be shit if weren't for me. Helping you helps the company.
~A group of security guards, led by Knux, approach the two men~
Knux: Excuse me, gentlemen. Mr... Um.. Dean? You've been asked by management to vacate the premises.
Dean: Excuse me, sucka?
Knux: I've been told to remove you from the property immediately.
~Dean looks at Mack as if to say “We all knew this was coming.” Mack appears ready to fight for Dean but Dean gives a nod of acceptance. Mack backs down. Knux looks back at Mack~
Knux: Also, I've been told to tell you that you need to report to Welsh's office tonight.
Mack: Nah, I'm good.
Knux: It's not a request.
Mack: Is that right?
~Mack takes a step back and squares up, expecting a fight. Knux smirks, making a gesture. As if on cue, two extremely muscular/jacked security guards step into view behind Mack. Mack takes note of them~
Knux: Yes, that's right. These two gentlemen will escort you back to your dressing room. When its time, they'll bring you to Welsh's office. Understood?
~Mack sizes up the two big ass guards, but decides it’s not worth the energy to fight. Also, he knows he'll probably lose. Also, why aren't they on the roster? Either way, he shrugs it off and heads down the hallway~
Mack: Whatever.
~Knux nods to the two guards, and they follow Mack down the hallway~
Smith: And our former President has been escorted from the building
Hood: He’s lucky they even let his dumbass in…good for Welsh getting rid of that guy. You know Dean would be all about Team Zybala
Smith: It’s a complicated matter, Hood. I think Dean simply wants to see some part of his legacy preserved. That, as it may indicate, resides with Team O’Connor
Hood: Well at least he’s gone. Hopefully we don’t see him for another year or so
~We cut backstage to the office of Commissioner Zybala. He is sitting at his desk with a rather stoic look on his face. He looks at the camera~
Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen, in an effort to stack the deck in his favor, Marcus Welsh has recently fired both Melinda Rhodes and James Spade. Now while this would have upset most people, I have come to expect this type of shenanigan from Welsh. And, no, Team Langston will not be facing that trio of jobbers Welsh brought into his office earlier tonight. He's not getting off that easy.
After weighing my options, I will be taking over for Rhodes as that team's Captain and participating in the match myself. Also, taking the spot of Spade will be one of my oldest friends that I have made in my career. She is my sister from another mister, someone I have always be able to count on, someone who has been a champion whereever she goes. She is the one, the only, Amy Jo Smyth!
~We hear the OCW Arena go crazy for the name of the world famous Amy Jo Smyth~
Mike Zybala: As far as the rest of the team goes…I’ve got a few names up my sleeve. I’d just prefer to hold off on announcing them at this time to prevent Welsh from planting drugs in their car or leaking fake stories to the media so he has an excuse to fire them. You’ll all find out the rest of my team when I’m good and ready to reveal them.
Thank you for your patience, enjoy the rest of the show, and Marcus? Your shot of winning has officially gone from zero into the negatives. Clear out your office cuz I'm moving in!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Wow!! Amy Jo Smyth!
Hood: I've heard of her...
Smith: She's one of the most talented wrestlers on the planet! Holy smokes!
Hood: Zybala really is like a terrible venereal disease. He just keeps coming back worse than before
Smith: He's doing the best with what he has to work with. It's not his fault Welsh keeps sabotaging his team captains! I don't blame him for keeping the other two a secret. He's right to be worried over what Welsh will do if/when he finds out who they are
Hood: That sneaky ass commissioner...he's cheating!
Smith: He's playing it smart. And, speaking of playing it smart...Soot Losem is up next after some litigious maneuvering earned him a tag title shot on tonight's show. Let's head down to ringside to see how it winds up for the man
Tag Team Championship
The Republic © vs. Soot Losem
~We go to the ring where Belvedere is standing, looking dapper as always, with microphone in hand and a smile on his face.~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Fans: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: And it is for the OCW Tag Team Championship! Coming to the ring first, hailing from the Cinnabar Islands, weighing in tonight at 0.13 metric tons, he is Soot Losem!!
~The lights dim as a power metal cord hits the speakers. "Gotta Catch Em All" by PowerGlove hits the speakers as the fans.......mummer? Talk amongst themselves is more like. Nobody shows interest in Soot Losem as he makes his way to the ring. He walks up the steps, slips through the ropes and into the ring. The lights come back on and Losem's music stops.~
Smith: And we get to see this sacrificial lamb go against the Republic. I'd almost feel bad for him if he didn't tazer Commissioner Zybala and threaten to sue the company.
Hood: I hope this joke of an Outsider gets his ass kicked!
Smith: Are we agreeing on something?
Hood: What? You do say smart things from time to time.
~ A single strum of a guitar plays.~
Hood: Hold that thought, Smith.
~The guitar strum plays once more into a record scratch. The lights dim, all except a single spotlight over the stage. One man steps out, the silhouette of an acoustic guitar strapped to his back and a championship in his hand being all that’s visible. The beginnings of Foreigner’s “Juke Box Hero” was all that you needed to confirm your suspicions.~
Belvedere: and his opponents, "The Best Wrestler Money Can Buy" Adrien Turner, and his partner, he prefers to be referred as the REAL Juke Box Hero and the official Michael Bay of Pro Wrestling, Jacob Hotstuff, they are the reigning OCW Tag Team Champions, The Republic!!
~Where as the crowd was virtually silent for Losem, the hatred and the booes are deafening as Hotstuff struts to the top of the aisle, with one of the tag belts around his waist and the other in his guitar free hand. Adrien Turner then steps out onto the stage, a look of cockiness to match Hotstuff's. Jacob hands the tag title that's in his hand to Turner for him to hold, and then strums away at the guitar as the pair arrogantly walks down the aisle smiling as if their shit doesn't stink. ~
Hood: Have you ever seen such majesty, such poise, such talent?
Smith: Such a load of undeserved ego?
Hood: Dude, seriously, stop drinking the Hater-aid. It's making you such a downer. Or at least switch to the diet version.
~The duo make their way to the ring and slide in. They hand the tag belts to Puff, who hands them to a now ringside Belvedere. Jacob then slides out of the ring, reaches under it and pulls out the now trademark director’s chair and a megaphone. Puff shrugs as he class for the bell.~
Hood: And here we go!
Smith: Let's see what this kid can do.
~Turner wastes no time as he charges at Losem, who screams in fear and goes to cower in the corner. The fans laugh as Turner has no pity. He runs over and grabs Losem by the head, dragging him to the middle of the ring. Losem is screaming "No!" over and over but Turner used up his last fuck given like twenty years ago. He kicks Losem in the midsection then grabs him in a front facelock. Turner starts delivering multiple knee stricks to Losem before spiking his head to the mat with a vicious ddt. The boos reign down as Hotstuff applaudes his stunt double. Turner goes to the corner and begins to lower his right knee brace as the boos get louder~
Smith: I think we all know what's coming next.
Hood: Yup, this "Pokèmon trainer" is going to be seeing Pidgeys.
~As Soot Losem starts to get up to a sitting position, Turner rushes at him, and drives his knee into the back of Losem's skull! Losem is knocked out and falls face first onto the mat. Turner looks over towards Hotstuff. Jacob gets out of his director's chair and climbs on the apron and reaches his hand over the ropes for a tag!~
Hood: This is it Smith! The Michael Bay of Wrestling is about to grace the ring with his presence!
Smith: After his hitman did the dirty work.
Hood: That's what STUNT DOUBLES do. They do all the dangerous work so the real stars don't get hurt.
~Turner tags in Hotstuff, who comes in the ring. Losem is still out cold. Hotstuff bends over, picks up Losem, draping his leg over the back of the Outsider's heads, and drops him back down with The Encore. Both men fall to the mat, with Hotstuff once again acting gassed. He crawls slowly over to his opponent and barely drapes a hand onto Losem as Puff goes to count.~
1.......
2.......
3!!!!!
~Turner gets into the ring and helps Hotstuff to his feet. A look of complete shock is on Jacob's face as he looks at Turner, asking if he did it. Turner smiles smugly and nods. Jacob shouts in victory and hugs Turner before Puff hands him the tag team titles. Hotstuff then hugs both belts as Turner applaudes while the crowd can not boo any louder. We can barely hear Belvedere.~
Belvedere: Here are your winners and STIIL OCW Tag Team Champion, The Republic!!!
Smith: I wish I could say that was an impressive performance
Hood: Hotstuff does it again! This man may be unbeatable
Smith: Give me a break! What a joke that was…they are ruining the reputation of the tag team titles…a fact that
~We cut backstage. Who’Re is standing in a corner with her head down. She doesn’t appear to be in the cheeriest of spirits. Sugar is counting a wad of twenties while chewing on a purple tooth pick~
Sugar Valentine: Damn girl, you had one hell of a week. Sugar is proud. Imma take you out for a steak dinner at any place you want.
~Who’Re doesn’t answer. She just stares at the floor~
Sugar Valentine: What’s wrong?
~Sugar turns around, noticing her sad disposition. They are located in the female locker room. All the women are gone. We wonder why that is? Could it be that there is an impromptu meeting of some kind? Nah. Could it be Sugar Valentine’s presence? Probably. He approaches Who’Re and puts his arm around her. With his index finger he lifts her eyes to meet his~
Sugar Valentine: Don’t fret, girl. Career changes are always a little rough at first. You’ll get into it, Sugar promises. Now, go run and get Sugar a diet soda.
~Slowly, Who’Re nods and leaves. Sugar returns to his seat, continuing to count his money. He pauses as though an idea strikes him~
Sugar Valentine: Ah shit!
~He whips out his phone and dials ‘office’. The voice of Marcus Welsh answers~
Marcus Welsh: Yes?
Sugar Valentine: Yo, Marcus, it’s Sugar.
Marcus Welsh: Something wrong in the female locker room?
Sugar Valentine: Haha, nah man, we’re all up to code over here. I just had an idea, so check it. Like why not kick 2019 off with a bang. You hear me?
Marcus Welsh: I’m very busy Sugar so please, make it quick.
Sugar Valentine: Yo, I hear that. Sugar understands that time is money. So, anyway, it goes like this…an all male ppv titled…let’s see here…I got it. We can call it ‘Bitches Ain’t Shit’. All female referees in low tops with booty shorts…or no shorts at all! Cocktail waitresses walking around the ring. I know just the women to hire too, man.
Marcus Welsh: …
Sugar Valentine: Wet T-shirt contest too, man. We gotta have one of those. So, whatcha think?
Marcus Welsh: That sounds like misogyny to me, Sugar. We are not a misogynistic fed. So I am vetoing that idea! Stick to your job of managing the women…you let me book the events.
~Welsh hangs up~
Sugar Valentine: Tight ass mother fucker. It was just an idea. Lighten up for fuck’s sake.
~Sugar goes back to chewing on his tooth pick and counting his money~
Smith: Well that was a total waste of time. I'm extremely displeased with Sugar Valentine and his misogynistic ways
Hood: What are you talking about? Who'Re is making more money now than she ever has and it's because Sugar Valentine has given her an opportunity
Smith: I would go into a detailed explanation of exactly WHY you are wrong...but, there are children watching. So let's move on...it's battle royal time where the winner will collect a contract guaranteeing them a shot at any title aside from the OCW Championship. Let's head down to ringside!
The Sarge vs. Vincent Langston vs. Nanook vs. Bob Grenier vs. The Captain vs. James Kelloggs
~The crowd rises with anticipation when they see the OH SHIT contract in Belvedere’s hands. Belvedere clears his throat and begins his announcing duties~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the Oh Shit Invitational!! This match will be a Battle Royal. In order to eliminate someone you must throw them over the top rope and to the floor. The last competitor remaining will be declared the winner and will receive the Oh Shit Contract! Introducing first…currently in the ring…
~We get a look at Nanook and his massive girth~
Belvedere: Nanook!!
~We then get a look at the diminutive stature belonging to James Kelloggs~
Belvedere: James Kelloggs!
~We are now shown The Captain~
Belvedere: The Captain!!
~And, finally, we are shown The Sarge and/or Armbar Armstrong~
Belvedere: And…The Sarge!!
~The crowd gives a warm reception to all four competitors brave enough to sign up for this match. This is a big time, potentially career defining moment. "I Am Legend" echoes through the arena, followed by the build-up of the music. The claps and heavy beat are joined by lasers and flashing lights as the music blasts out. Vincent Langston walks out on the stage, a stoic look on his face as he walks towards the ring. He jumps over the ropes, lands in the ring, and lets out a loud yell to the crowd, before turning back to his corner~
Belvedere: Introducing the next competitor…from Washington, D.C….standing 6’4 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is the reigning OCW Savage Champion…Vincent “The Legend” Langston!!!
~Langston removes his Savage Championship and hands it to an employee outside the ring. A ‘BOB’ chant starts up. These fans are eager to see the OCW Hall of Famer in action~
#OOOOOOOH
~"Where the Hood at" by DMX hit's the House PA as the man, the myth, the legend of OCW himself steps out onto the stage wearing his full ring gear and a pair of shades on his face. He takes a long, final hit from the blunt between his lips, letting out a big billow of smoke before randomly flicking it off to his side. Naturally someone's there to pick it up, at least we hope so anyway. The bleach blond bearded scrapper with a forehead that looked like a side of beef and a body full of scars heads straight for the ring. A fan raises a fist out towards him and he gives the man a little knuckle bump before rushing towards the ring. He slides under the ropes, rolls to a crouch, and rises to a full stand with a fist in the air.~
Belvedere: And, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs…he is a former OCW Champion and an OCW Hall of Famer….he is Canada’s greatest export…he is…Bob Grenier!!!
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits. This leaves the six competitors in the ring~
Smith: An interesting collection of characters
Hood: Yea, I’m not sure this is what Welsh envisioned when he booked this match
Smith: I’d agree…however, they are the ones who answered the challenge. Plus, we do have one Hall of Famer in there along with a current champion
Hood: I’m going to go with Kelloggs
Smith: Oh look at you picking the upset!
Hood: Given how low he is to the ground, it’s going to be tough to toss him out of the ring. I think. Or, I could be totally off base
~Grenier and Langston stare one another down. Nanook gathers Kelloggs and The Captain. The Sarge refuses to gather. He appears to have a mind of his own. They break. Nanook glares in Sarge’s direction. The Sarge ignores the look. Kelloggs rushes at Langston and dives at Langston’s legs. He grabs onto one of Vincent’s legs. The Legend does his best to get Kelloggs off his legs. The Captain flies into view with cross body. Langston catches The Captain~
Smith: Nanook’s men are attempting a double team on Langston
Hood: Smart move…Grenier should get in on that action.
Smith: I think he’s enjoying watching Kelloggs go after Langston’s legs
Hood: Can’t say I blame him
~Langston is ready to dump The Captain over the top rope. Before he’s able to do so The Captain manages to rake Langston across the eyes!! Langston stumbles forward. He falls to his knees thanks to Kelloggs maintaining his frustrating position. The Captain is released. He hops onto Langston’s back and grabs the Savage Champion by both sides of his mouth and pulls back. The Legend yells out in pain because, ya know, it fuckin hurts~
Smith: They are taking The Savage Champion down!
Hood: The tried and true eye rake…a must when facing a larger opponent
Smith: Cheating in its purest form
Hood: It isn’t cheating in a Battle Royal. Did you hear Scruff call for the bell? I didn’t
~Grenier, looking to talk some shit, heads over and looks Langston in the eye. He bends his knees and starts talking shit to the helpless Legend. Out of nowhere we see THE SARGE come flying in with a knee! It hits Grenier in the side of the head!! Grenier falls over. The Sarge quickly transitions into a crossface!! Both Grenier and Langston are in precarious positions…they are being painfully subdued by Nanook’s menagerie of talent~
Smith: I don’t think anybody expected this!
Hood: I sure as shit didn’t
Smith: Didn’t you pick Kelloggs?
Hood: Yea but I thought he’d do that thing where he hides in a corner…maybe under the ring only to appear at the very end, eliminating the guy who thinks he’s won to steal the victory
Smith: You realize what you’ve done?
Hood: …no…
Smith: By saying it you’ve confirmed it will not happen
Hood: Fuck
~Nanook feels confident. He heads over to Langston. He delivers a straight right hand into Langston’s face! The Captain releases his hold due to the punch. Nanook grabs Langston by the hair and tries to pull him to his feet. Langston, though, pops to his feet and delivers a head butt into Nanook!! Nanook stumbles back, into a corner. Langston kicks his leg which sends Kelloggs flying into Nanook! The Captain, standing behind Langston, has an apropos “OH SHIT” look on his face. Langston turns around and stalks the Captain, cornering him. The Captain climbs up to the middle rope, continuing to face The Legend~
Smith: Not the best idea
Hood: He’s clearly not thinking straight
Smith: I think his lack of experience is showing
~The Captain jumps at Langston! Big mistake. Vincent catches the Captain by the throat with both hands. He tosses the Captain over the top rope and to the outside! The Captain bounces off the apron before hitting the floor. Scruff signals that The Captain has been eliminated~
Smith: And there goes The Captain!
Hood: To be fair, he lasted longer than I expected
Smith: I’d agree
~Langston turns around and sees Kelloggs and Nanook in the corner. He charges toward them, looking for a big splash. Nanook’s eyes widen. He grabs Kelloggs by the back of the neck and waistband of his pants. He throws Kelloggs at Langston! Vincent catches Kelloggs and hoists him over his shoulder. He heads toward the side of the ring and dumps Kelloggs out over the top rope, to the floor~
Smith: And there goes James Kelloggs!
Hood: I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID IT
Smith: You ruined his strategy, Hood
Hood: I guess I’m prejudiced against midgets…is there a term for that?
Smith: I don’t know…but I’m sure there is
Hood: Ah, here it is…SIZEISM
~Grenier manages to get to his feet. He lifts The Sarge up and drops him over his knee with an Atomic Drop!!! The Sarge stumbles forward, through the middle and top rope. He crashes onto the outside. Grenier turns and sees Langston standing over Nanook. Nanook is trying to reason with The Legend. Grenier runs up and delivers a flying knee into Vincent’s back!! Langston stumbles into Nanook before staggering back. Grenier grabs hold of Langston and lifts him up and over with a German Suplex!!! Langston is down, in the center of the ring. Bob gets back to his feet, fired up~
Smith: The Sarge takes a stumble but he’s still alive
Hood: Glad to know there won’t be any funerals that might detract from number 41’s arrangements
Smith: A sad day for America
Hood: And Dana Carvey
Smith: Dated reference alert!
~Bob keeps his focus on Langston. He stomps on The Legend. Nanook rushes Bob from behind and slams his massive girth into Bob!! Bob stumbles toward the ropes. He nearly goes over the top rope!! The crowd screams with shock and anxiety!! He’s teetering across the top. Nanook, out of breath, has to wheeze a bit before rushing toward Bob to finish the top. Bob kicks his legs up and over Nanook! The behemoth hits the ropes, flips over the top rope and lands sloppily outside! The crowd cheers! Grenier looks down at Nanook possibly wondering how the giant Nanook passed a singular health test enabling him to step inside the ring~
Smith: And there goes Nanook!! Only two men remain in the ring…but three remain active in the match
Hood: I think OCW needs to get Nanook on a diet
Smith: He does seem dangerously unhealthy
Hood: I would say an immediate diet but we are smack dab in the middle of the holidays
~Grenier turns around to find Langston on his feet. The two men engage in a stare down. The crowd seems torn on who to cheer for. After listening for a minute we start to discern that Grenier is the favorite. NOSTALGIA BABY. Langston throws a punch! Grenier retaliates! The two men go back and forth with a wild brawl in the middle of the ring! The fans are chanting “YES!” digging what they are seeing~
Smith: An all-out brawl between the Savage Champion and one of the most savage competitors in company history!
Hood: Think about this…if Bob eliminates Langston then he could cash in and defeat Langston for the Savage Championship
Smith: That is true! Bob was victorious TWICE against Langston’s former tag team partner, Melinda Rhodes.
Hood: What does that have to do with anything?
Smith: Other than Langston having been her tag partner? Nothing
~Langston snatches Grenier up! He’s looking for a Spinebuster! Grenier grabs Langston’s head and locks him into a facelock!! He manages to get his arm under Langston’s chin. Langston drops Grenier. Bob lands on his feet. He hoists Langston up onto his shoulders…the crowd rises with anticipation~
Smith: Hollinger Park Hangman!
Hood: He won the OCW Title with this move!
Smith: If he hits hit all he’ll have to do is get Langston up and over the top rope!
~Langston wiggles and is able to shift the momentum, making his position less than stable. He flips over, onto his feet, back to back with Grenier. He drops Grenier to the mat with a Reverse Neckbreaker!! Grenier hits the mat and holds onto his neck, kicking his legs in pain~
Smith: Great reversal by the Savage Champion
Hood: Fucking Bob needs to win this thing…Death March is two weeks away…in his home country!
Smith: Bob’s been elevating his game…he’s close to returning to his old glory
Hood: Man if he won Death March…how cool would that be?
Smith: It would be a tremendous story!
~Langston returns to his feet. He picks Grenier up, off the mat…Bob thumbs Langston in the eye! Langston staggers back, holding his face. Grenier runs forward with a clothesline!! Vincent stumbles into the ropes. Grenier measures him up. He yells out and charges forward! The Legend gets a big boot up, kicking Grenier right in the face!!! Bob falls to the mat, holding his face in pain~
Smith: Langston keeps cutting Bob off
Hood: Man I’d hate to be on the road with Langston
Smith: I’m sure he’s a safe enough driver
Hood: I doubt it
~Langston drops and elbow across the chest of Grenier. He returns to his feet, pulling Grenier up. He whips Grenier into a corner. Vincent charges in…Grenier gets his feet up, kicking the Savage champ in the face!! Langston staggers back. Grenier, much like The Captain, hops onto the second rope. Unlike The Captain, he leaps safely off and takes Langston down with a flying clothesline!! Grenier floats over, on top of Langston and pummels him with right hands~
Smith: The former OCW Champion has taken control!
Hood: Grenier is close to winning this!
Smith: Indeed he is!
~Grenier gets Langston to his feet and he drags the Savage Champion toward the ropes. He grabs Langston by the legs and lifts him up! Langston tips over. His head is pointed at the apron. He fights to stay in! Suddenly we see The Sarge slide back into the ring~
Smith: It’s The Sarge!
Hood: Ah shit I forgot about him!
Smith: He’s going to try to steal this!
~The Sarge runs up and grabs Grenier by the legs. Bob lets go of Vincent who falls onto the apron. He turns around and grabs Sarge by the throat. He bullies Sarge back and shoves him into the ropes! The Sarge flips over the top rope and falls all the way to the floor~
Smith: The Sarge is gone!
Hood: Whew
Smith: Yes but he may have ruined Grenier’s shot at winning this match
~Grenier turns around and he EATS a big boot from Langston!!! Bob flips over the top rope and falls to the floor!! The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the new holder of the Oh Shit Contract…VINCENT “THE LEGEND” LANGSTON!!!!!
Smith: Langston wins!
Hood: Bob was screwed! Screwed by the SARGE…THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS
Smith: Indirectly…The Sarge didn’t intend on costing Bob the match…he just saw an opportunity and was incapable of capitalizing
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: And now Langston has the Oh Shit Contract to go along with his Savage Championship. That’s a dangerous, dangerous man
Hood: Yea if he wins Death March – holy shit
Smith: Indeed
#WHERE DA' HOOD
#WHERE DA' HOOD
#WHERE DA' HOOD AT!!!
~We cut backstage where a man in a cape is trying to gain access into the OCW Arena~
OCW Employee: Who are you again? I'm under strict orders to ensure that certain individuals are not allowed back here.
Familiar Voice: I'm just a friend of some people in the back. They gave me this pass here for backstage access, suc...err, man
~The guy looks over the pass~
OCW Employee: Yea, this is legit. Okay how about some identification. A certain former owner is snooping around and we have been told he cannot, under any circumstance, be allowed back into this building
Familiar Voice: Oh why, uh, sure, let me get you my identification out. I used to be pretty popular around here, suck...err, guy. You have probably heard of me
~The man in the cape whose face has remained hidden reaches for some ID. He suddenly produces it. We zoom in to see who it is~
~The OCW Arena goes wild. The OCW employee examines the ID and then looks at the infamous NOT PRESIDENT DEAN~
OCW Employee: Well...this certainly checks out! Welcome back, Not President Dean. Come right on in!
Not President Dean: Why thank you!
~Not President Dean rushes in through the door~
~ Suddenly the lights do something cool and reddish, and probably there are fireworks by the entrance ramp or some bullshit.~
Smith: Oh wow, something cool or neat is apparently happening!
Hood: It’s about time. This whole fuckin show has been hot trash.
Smith: Not anymore, friend Hood! Look at all these cool lights and fireworks! They’re so vivid and bright and descriptively described!
~ More fireworks go off. They are bright and good and exciting. ~
Smith: Goodness! It’s getting litty dot com up in this piece!
Hood: I don’t know what that is, but this has got me excited! Because of how it’s so exciting!
Smith: You bet it is, Hood! There’s such a sense of excitement in this arena you could churn it into excitement butter and then cut through the buttery excitement with a butterknife forged from all the leftover excitement you didn’t use for butter!
Hood: Or maybe I could cut you. With a gun.
Smith: You’re not even trying to make sense anymore, that’s just stupid!
~ Hood pulls a Kalashnikov model forty-seven assault rifle from under the announcer’s desk. A fourteen inch bayonet of cruel wrought iron is fixed to the barrel, conspicuous as a narwhal’s horn. ~
Hood: Who’s stupid, motherfucker?
~ Smith stares, slack-jawed and horrified. ~
Hood: That’s what I thought, pussy.
Smith: Hood, no, look…
Hood: I’m not falling for that. This is the end for you, Smith. I’ve had enough of—
~ Young Thug’s track “Memo” begins to bang over the P.A. It’s by far the most slappingest shit anyone has heard all night. Women in the crowd, sick of all the incel nu-metal entrance music they’ve been exposed to, and horny from all the excitement, begin to take off their tops as soon as the first few bass notes hit. ~
Smith: Hood, put your gun away and LOOK!
~ The camera at last reveals what Smith is staring at. Scott Syren stands at the top of the ramp in a pair of cut-off jean shorts, Gucci hiking boots, and heavy necklace of stainless steel chain links. The only other thing he wears is a haggard and tarnished scrap of metal and leather around his waist. It is a championship belt, one that has been burned, bloodstained, shot, stolen a hundred times, run over, and left at the bottom of the sea. An OCW World Title from days long past. ~
Hood: It’s Scott the fuck Syren! The World Champion!
Smith: He is not—
Hood: Don’t make me get the gun back out!
Smith: Okay, okay, he’s the “world” “champion”.
Hood: Don’t think for one minute he can’t hear those sarcastic fucking quotation marks in your voice, smartass.
~ Syren glares at the announcer’s table as if to prove Hood’s point. ~
Smith: GUH-GUH-GUH-GULP!
Hood: Are you over there drinking cum again?
Smith: HUH-WHA???!!!
Hood: Shut up, dumb idiot man, he’s coming down to the ring!
~ Indeed, Syren makes his way to the ring leisurely. Once or twice, he stops for a chat and a laugh with fans who look cool. More often, he stops to spit at fans who look lame. More than a few audience members shower him with half-smoked blunts and random pills as he walks down. He pockets the former and eats up all of the latter. It doesn’t faze him in the slightest. ~
Smith: And now we have an arena full of people cheering for a grown man gobbling up random medicine off the ground…
Hood: Classic OCW, baby!
Smith: He could be killing himself, idiot! Who knows what those pills he’s eating even are…
Hood: To be fair, he’s not eating all of them…
~ It’s true. Syren is now down on his hands and knees, smashing up a little pile of assorted pills with his knuckles against the ringside concrete. The work complete, he bends his head down and sniffs up all the powder in his mighty nostril. ~
Hood: Go Syren!
Smith: I’m calling the police.
~ With superhuman speed, Syren has popped up behind the announcers table. ~
Syren: Do it, bitch, and you’d better tell them to bring you a bodybag.
Smith: Ha ha ha it was only a joke ha ha ha!
~ Syren slaps Smith across the back of the head. ~
Smith: Ow! Hey, that was really… where did he go?
~ Suddenly Syren is in the ring. It’s as if the combination of pills has given him magic warp powers. He zooms to and fro from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. The crowd screams and basks in his glorious, drug-addled return. There are plenty of boos and hisses as well, but those are mostly performed by incels and babies and 4channers, and the raucous cheering of REAL RED-BLOODED AMERICAN MEN AND WOMEN easily drowns out the negativity. Whatever irreparable damage he has done to this company’s reputation, whatever mistakes he has made, Scott Syren is still a superstar; a legend; a god. ~
Smith: Why are people cheering? He shows up for like a week, makes fun of everyone, then disappears. Then a year later does it all over again… why does anyone like this man?
Hood: Because he’s fucking cool, idiot.
~ The crowd begins to murmur discontentedly at something else happening up the entrance ramp. ~
Smith: Speaking of idiot…
Hood: Speaking of fucking cool, you mean!
~ We see what they are talking about. A tall, muscled black man well into his adulthood is striding down to the ring to join Scott Syren with a huge smile on his face. It’s kind of hard to see the smile, however, for his black Zorro mask and his bright red mustache. ~
Smith: Not this. Please, anything but this.
Hood: OCW’s favorite mystery man!
Smith: It’s not a mystery man! It’s Dean! Everyone knows it’s Dean!
Hood: Uh, it’s literally not.
~ Not President Dean enters the ring and greets Syren with a hug because the two men are secure enough in their masculinity to perform physical displays of platonic affection to one another in public. Real shit. Not President Dean gets a microphone. ~
NPD: What’s up, SUUUUUUCCCCKKKchs a lovely evenin’ of dat wrestling we’re ‘aving, aye?
~ Halfway through the sentence (right after nearly accidentally saying President Dean’s catch phrase “suckas”) NPD switches into a badly faked Jamaican accent. ~
Smith: Oh, so he’s Jamaican now?
Hood: Don’t be xenophobic, Smith. People can be Jamaican.
Smith: Yes, but usually they don’t become Jamaican halfway through a sentence.
Hood: Oh, okay, professor, I didn’t realize you had a doctorate in Caribbean studies.
NPD: Now iffa dem bitch ass announcers would shut dem mouths, I come ‘ere tonight to interview a great man, a great friend… your former and future OCW World Champion… Scott Syren!
~ The crowd pops again. NPD hands the microphone to Syren for opening remarks. ~
Syren: Yes, yes, it me.
~ The crowd pops anew. He doesn’t even have to use grammar or convey any information when he speaks. His muscles and charisma have them all enraptured. ~
Syren: Sorry I’ve been away for so long. As soon as the management at this fuckshack decided to rig my last match to steal a victory away from Curt Canon and I, I’ve been working with a team of lawyers to sue the fuck out of this whole company. The evidence clearly shows a screwjob, and our case is air-tight.
~ The crowd pops again. They have been waiting for the inevitable demise of OCW. For ten years or more they have been eagerly anticipating sweet, sweet release. Syren has always been a harbinger of OCW’s regular implosions and they know this. ~
Syren: But then I got bored with that shit and decided I should beat the fuck out of some dude instead.
~ The crowd pops EVEN HARDER. They don’t even care what’s going on, so long as Syren is the one doing it. Even without 4K HD, a whole lot of bulges and wet spots are visible in the crotchal region of the audience on your television screen. ~
Syren: Now, since I have no idea who I’m fighting or any shit like that, I have invited respected wrestling insider Not President Dean here to talk some shop with me.
NPD: Thanks, me bruddah! Let’s get right down to de real shit, aye mon? What is you first impressions about dat man, de Meyhu?
Syren: May I what?
NPD: No, no, Meyhu.
Syren: … may I… what?
NPD: It’s dat man you gotta fight, bruddah mon. Dat him name. Dat de Meyhu!
Syren: Daddy may I WHAT though?
NPD: Naaaah, mon! Not daddy may you, dat de meyhu!
Syren: What in tarnation?
~ NPD leans over and whispers in Syren’s ear. Without a Jamaican accent, one imagines. ~
Syren: Ohhhhh, his name is Meyhu?
~ He thinks for a long moment. ~
Syren: Sounds like a bitch.
~ The crowd pops so hard they irreversibly warm earth’s climate by two hundredths of a degree Celsius. Syren spikes the microphone in the center of the ring like Rob Gronkowski, or like Scott Syren on tons of drugs. ~
Hood: You heard it here first, folks. Meyhu is a bitch!
Smith: Can we please cut to something else? Please?
~Mack walks down the hallway to Welsh's office, the two jacked security guards still following him. They stop at the office door, and one of the guards knocks on the door twice. Mack sizes them both up as they wait for a response~
Mack: What do you two lift anyway?
~The guards ignore him. The door opens a moment later, and Mack steps inside. The two guards follow him, and they immediately step to the back of the room next to a waiting Knux. As the door shuts behind him, Mack surveys the room: Welsh sits behind his desk. We notice his TV has been turned off. That means he missed the previous segment - at this point, that's probably a good thing.
Standing behind him are Cap Slock and an unknown man in a nice suit with curly hair. Greg is sitting in a chair in the corner, knitting. Treat Cassidy sits in one of two chairs in front of the desk, the other chair empty for Mack to occupy. Mack takes in the whole scene and tries to put the pieces together~
Mack: What's going on here?
Welsh: Mack, you should have a seat.
Mack: No. Fuck that. What's going on here? Why is Treat here?
Welsh: We thought it would be best if we had someone here to represent you.
Mack: Why? Am I being fired?
Welsh: No, listen...
Mack: Why? You're gonna fuckin' fire me because I called you some mean names? Are you fuckin' kidding me?
Treat: MACK!
~Mack looks at Treat~
Treat: Just sit down. Please.
~Mack sees that Treat isn't messing around. Mack complies, sitting down in the empty chair~
Mack: Fine. Why am I here?
Welsh: Let's cut right to the chase... This isn't about anything you've said to me or any of your criticisms of the company.
Mack: What is this about then?
Welsh: It's been pretty public what has happened over this past weekend. The company has been accused of a lot of things, and we responded the way we thought was appropriate.
Mack: Okay?
Welsh: It has been brought to our attention that the company might be vulnerable to possible lawsuits. Mainly due to HR issues that haven't been addressed.
~Welsh glances at Cap Slock, who is oblivious to the shade being thrown at him~
Welsh: Either way... As a company, to protect ourselves, we've decided it is in our best interest to put you into sensitivity training.
Mack: Excuse me?
Welsh: You heard me correctly. Our people in HR have determined you were the leading cause for Melinda Rhodes threatening us with lawsuits. So now, you will be required to meet with our newly appointed expert in sensitivity training.
~The unknown man with curly hair steps forward~
Welsh: Mack, meet Deangelo Vickers.
~The man extends a hand to Mack. Mack is hesitant, but he shakes it~
Deangelo: A pleasure.
Mack: Hi.
~Mack looks back to Welsh~
Mack: Why?
Welsh: You made some comments that might get the company in trouble down the line. You know, as far as sexism and sexual harassment is concerned.
Mack: Okay, yeah, I talked some shit. But I'm not the only one. Shit, Grenier and Vargas said things far worse than I ever did.
Deangelo: This is true. But you're their team captain now, right?
~Mack glares at Deangelo, not liking his overly optimistic demeanor~
Mack: I mean... Yeah, I guess so.
Deangelo: So we're going to start with you: Their leader. Then hopefully it'll trickle down to them.
Mack: I'm so sorry... So who are you again?
Deangelo: I'm Deangelo Vickers. I'm a sensitivity trainer. There have been some oversights in your Human Resources department...
~Deangelo cautiously looks at Cap Slock~
Deangelo: Which is not your fault. You've been doing an excellent job, Mister Slock.
Slock: IT'S CAPTAIN!
Deangelo: I beg your pardon?
Slock: IT'S CAPTAIN SLOCK!
Deangelo: My apologies... But yes, so Mr. Buffett has hired me to work with you, Mack, and others to make sure that Online Championship Wrestling is an organization that is welcoming to everyone. An organization that welcomes all genders, sexes, sexual orientations, races, species, and so on. We want to be all inclusive here. And I'm going to work with you and others to make sure that we achieve that goal.
~Mack stares at Deangelo hard for a moment, then he suddenly looks at Treat~
Mack: What happens if I don't want to do this?
Treat: Then you'll be terminated.
~Mack glares at Welsh~
Mack: Seriously?!
Welsh: This is a serious issue, Mack. If you don't meet with Mr. Vickers as he sees fit, you'll be let go. It's in your contract you have to meet all HR requirements. This is one of them.
~Mack looks around the room in disbelief~
Mack: But... Look, I was just screwing around with her, I didn't even mean to...
Deangelo: I'm certain you didn't mean anything by your comments. But I'm sure you are unaware about how they might have hurt the feelings of other individuals. That's why I'm here: To make sure you understand what your words may mean to others.
~Mack stares at Deangelo for a moment, then at Welsh, then at Treat. He stands up and walks towards the door of the office~
Deangelo: I'll be in touch. I look forward to working with you in the next few weeks.
~Mack opens the door, exits, and slams it behind him. Welsh and Treat both look a bit worried, but Deangelo holds his smile~
Treat: I'm sorry about that. He's just so volatile.
Welsh: Seriously, Mr. Vickers, we apologize for Mr. O'Connor's behavior.
Deangelo: Oh, no. Not at all. The man just needs some good old fashion counseling. And I know I'm the man for the job.
~Deangelo gives Welsh a pat on the back, which seems to annoy Welsh more than anything. Vickers exits. Treat follows suit but Welsh asks him to hold up~
Treat Cassidy: Yes?
~Treat is rightfully suspicious~
Marcus Welsh: I had one more thing to ask of Mack before he stormed out. A job I'd like to see him do tonight. If you can convince him then...I'll make it worth your while.
~Greg appears insanely jealous until he sees Welsh pull out some money. Money talks with Treat so, he sticks around to listen. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I don't even know what to say about tonight's activities. This company appears to be spiraling out of control
Hood: It's the end of the year, Smith. People are getting their shit in
Smith: Death March is only two weeks away...I just hope we can get there before the inmates cause this entire company to implode.
Hood: Well we've got one match left, right? How about you get to it!
Smith: Good idea! Folks, it's main event time...OGDA is set to defend his Craze Championship against Andrea Hernandez and that match is next!
|
|
OCW Craze Championship
OGDA © (6-2) vs. Andrea Hernandez (6-2)
~There is a groovy vibe permeating throughout the OCW arena. These fans know WHAT’S UP…and it ain’t the sky, fool. It’s MAIN EVEN TIME. A few super fans begin to put their replica OGDA masks on before reaching over and fondling their girlfriends. The Andrea Hernandez fans find this act appalling and do their best to ignore it. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our main event of the evening! The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OCW Craze Championship!!! Introducing first…the challenger…
~“Ultranumb” by Blue Stahli hits the venue’s soundwaves. Andrea appears on the stage to some strong cheers from the crowd. She acknowledges the positive reaction that she's getting as she makes her way toward the ring, completely focused on the task at hand. She gets up to the ring apron and uses the top rope to slingshot herself into it, continuing to soak in the cheers she gets as she leans against the corner, confidently waiting for the match to begin~
Belvedere: From Sedona, Arizona…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Paradigm Champion…Andrea Hernandez!!!
Smith: Andrea Hernandez felt a tremendous sting when she lost her Paradigm Championship to Mack O’Connor at Serial Thrillers. Tonight she seeks to place some balm on that wound by defeating OGDA for the Craze Championship
Hood: Yea if she wins tonight’s she’s collected two of OCW’s four singles championships. Not bad for a woman
Smith: Not bad for anyone!
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~A rainbow shoots over the entrance way....~
"Most of the time I guess I am!"
~OGDA runs out from the back to a huge pop from every Shining Star in attendance!~
"But if there's trouble I'll be there
~The Rainbow Warriors are flooding the ramp area to the ring just to get close to OGDA!
"Look at me go!
~Highfives!
"Flying through the sky,
Fighting the bad guys,
There's no need to fear
Cuz I'll be here"
~The children are reunited with their parents!
"I'll be your superhero"
~Everyone! Sing along!~
Belvedere: From the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320ishlbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion…Orgulloso Guardian Del Arcoiris!!!
~OGDA slides into the ring upon hearing his name. He stands tall and triumphant~
Smith: The Craze Champion!
Hood: Ugh…so if Andrea wins will she call that thing the Craze Title or…belty
Smith: Whatever she darn well pleases
Hood: I really don’t have a favorite in this one, Smith.
~OGDA removes the Craze Championship and hands it over to Belvedere. Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. The crowd cheers, ready for some championship level action~
Smith: Definitely an interesting decision to place Andrea and OGDA in a match against one another two weeks before Death March
Hood: Why is that, exactly?
Smith: Rumors have circulated that OGDA is looking to put Andrea on his Death March team…this, you would think, could cause some conflict
Hood: Welsh is so smart
~Before the fans in attendance can get seated for a championship match OGDA places his hand on his head and yells out “NARWHAL!” he charges at Andrea, who is facing him. OGDA is caught up in the moment. He charges at Hernandez. Andrea seems surprised but quickly adjusts. She darts out of the way. OGDA slams into the corner, stunned. Andrea jumps onto OGDA and pulls him toward the ropes. She quickly locks in a Tarantula!!! The crowd pops for the move. Scruff administers a five count~
Smith: We’re off to a quick start! OGDA, I think, got caught up in the pageantry of his first title defense and, well, ran into a problem
Hood: He’s giving this woman the lone advantage she has. She can’t out run this guy. She can’t out muscle this guy. She can’t out box this guy. But out wrestle…out grapple…yea, she might can do that
Smith: Indeed and she’s got OGDA in a painful spot, manipulating sensitive joins and ligaments which will come into play as this match moves forward
~Scruff yells out ‘FIVE!’ Andrea holds on. Scruff threatens a DQ. Andrea, obviously having watched last week’s Lockwood match, holds on just a bit longer before finally releasing the hold! OGDA falls face first to the mat. Andrea flips over, landing on her feet with her back to the ring. She spins around and grabs OGDA’s feet. She drags him closer and lifts up his right leg, slamming the knee into the apron!! She retains control of the left leg. She lifts the left leg and slams it down, knee first, into the apron!!! OGDA yells out, curling up and rolling into the ring, holding both knees~
Smith: More smart wrestling by Andrea Hernandez. If she can take the legs out from under OGDA then she will eliminate a majority of his physical advantage
Hood: Going after the guy’s knees. FIGHT HIM LIKE A MAN
Smith: But she’s a…
Hood: Eh? What was that? Speak up?
Smith: She’s a hardnosed competitor worthy of being in that ring!
Hood: So close
~Andrea hops onto the apron. OGDA sits up, holding his knees to his chest. Andrea leaps up onto the top rope. She springboards off and performs a dropkick into OGDA’s face!!! OGDA stretches out onto his back. Andrea tries a quick cover~
1!
Kick Out!
Smith: Not close…yet
Hood: She’s seen a few too many Disney films
Smith: Nothing wrong with being a fan of Disney
Hood: Yea as long as you don’t take that shit as gospel
~Hernandez is back to her feet. OGDA is sitting up. Andrea flies into the ropes, she bounces off and delivers a flying knee into OGDA’s face!! Once again OGDA flattens out onto the mat. Andrea returns to her feet…she runs into the ropes, jumps onto the middle rope and performs a lionsault onto OGDA!! The crowd is going wild! On all fours, she decides against a pin attempt and slides underneath the bottom rope, standing atop the apron. The fans rise~
Smith: Sky High!
Hood: A squash match? Seriously?
Smith: What an impressive win this would be!
~Andrea leaps up onto the top rope. OGDA rolls over, onto his belly. Andrea pauses, perched atop the rope, showing tremendous balance. OGDA does a push up. He staggers to his feet, shaking his masked head. He turns toward Andrea. Andrea leaps off and wraps her legs around OGDA’s head!! She tosses him at the ropes with a Hurricanrana!!! OGDA flies through the ropes, tumbling outside. His muscular body slams against the barricade. The fans at ringside are jumping up and down, enjoying the fast paced action~
Smith: OGDA managed to avoid Sky High but Andrea was able to adjust
Hood: Time for OGDA to grow up and quit naming things belty while playing with kittens. Andrea means business
Smith: Indeed she does…if OGDA wants to walk out of here champion he’s going to have to up his game, for sure
~OGDA sits up against the barricade, shaking his head. The giant man continues to feel dazed. He’s far from down, though. Andrea realizes it’s going to take a lot to keep this man down long enough to defeat him. She runs into the ropes and sprints toward OGDA’s side of the ring. OGDA stands and leans against the barricade. Andrea leaps over the top rope at OGDA!! She flies at him in a perpendicular position. OGDA reaches up and catches her in a press slam position!!! Andrea looks around, nervously. The fans at ringside are like “OH SHIT”~
Smith: OGDA has caught her! What strength!
Hood: Muscles will always win
Smith: Not always, Hood
Hood: Have you seen the individuals in the OCW Title match at Death March? Muscles, Smith. MUSCLES
~OGDA staggers, still a bit confused by all the head shots. Andrea manages to roll off his hands, hook him by the arms and yank him backwards, over the barricade into the crowd!! OGDA lands on the back of his head. Andrea’s got him hooked for a pin…but there are no pins outside the ring. What is this, SAVAGERY?! Andrea releases OGDA’s arms and returns to her feet. Scruff is outside, trying to harness the action. OGDA rolls over, onto his front. Andrea hops atop the barricade and leaps off with a double foot stomp into the upper portion of OGDA’s back!! The crowd groans…feeling OGDA’s pain. Andrea stumbles forward. She looks down at OGDA and heads toward the barricade, hopping over and making her way back toward the ring. Scruff looks at OGDA before turning and heading into the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. He begins to count. Andrea leans over the apron, catching her breath for a moment~
Smith: OGDA may be out. That was a vicious combination of moves
Hood: I would say she knocked him retarded but, ya know
Smith: RUDE
Hood: I’m just calling the action, Smith
~Scruff yells out “THREE!” Andrea looks up and over her shoulder. OGDA is still down. It suddenly hits her. She can’t win the Craze Championship with a countout. Scruff yells “FOUR!” Andrea hurries over toward the barricade to find OGDA still face down amongst the fans. We see a few idiots taking selfies with the downed champion. Andrea hops the barricade and shoves them away. Scruff yells “FIVE!”~
Smith: Great awareness by Andrea, the former Paradigm Champion…she cannot take the belt from OGDA if he’s counted out
Hood: So what? Just take the win and be happy
Smith: She’s not here to claim some countout victory, Hood. She’s here to claim gold!
Hood: So she’s a gold digger?
Smith: That’s not what I meant!
~Scruff yells out “SIX!” Andrea grabs OGDA by the bottom of his mask and struggles to get him up. He’s mostly dead weight. She gets him up and drags him toward the barricade, tossing him into it…hoping he goes over. He does not. He remains on the side with the fans. Scruff yells “SEVEN!” A sense of urgency falls over Andrea. She grabs OGDA by the legs and lifts them up…she throws them into the air sending OGDA head first over the barricade. He manages to land relatively safely, rolling over via his lower neck and upper back. He’s staring up at the lights. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” Andrea hops over the barricade and grabs the giant man, trying to get him up. She’s straining and yelling. The fans at ringside are urging her on. She’s got him on one knee. He’s heavy as shit. Scruff yells “NINE!”~
Smith: I don’t know if she’s going to make it!
Hood: All this effort…for nothing!
Smith: It’s not over yet
Hood: We’ve seen count outs in OCW before. I think we’re about to see one again
~OGDA is leaning on Andrea. She drags his heavy body toward the apron. Scruff has all ten fingers opened, pointed toward the mat. He’s about to throw them up. Andrea lifts OGDA up and rolls him inside the ring. Scruff throws his hands into the air!! Andrea slides into the ring! Scruff yells “TE…” but stops! She made it!!! He puts his arms down and the fans cheer. Andrea, on her knees, wipes the sweat from her brow and shakes her head over how hard that was~
Smith: Tremendous energy expended by Andrea getting OGDA back into the ring. Thank goodness she’s got great stamina
Hood: And how would you know that?
Smith: Well, I mean, I’ve seen her wrestle in many high profile matches
Hood: You sure you don’t spy into her bedroom window at night?
Smith: I WOULD NEVER
~Andrea returns to her feet. OGDA is still on his back. The guy hasn’t really moved on his own in quite some time. So, Andrea does what any competitor would do…she goes for a pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: And there’s some fight in him yet!
Hood: Ugh…fucking retard strength coming into play
Smith: I really wish you’d stop calling him that. It’s making me uncomfortable
Hood: More uncomfortable than sitting on a dildo?
Smith: Excuse me?!
~Andrea returns to her feet without showing a hint of frustration. She’s going about her business. She is standing, looking down at OGDA who rolls to all fours before getting to one knee. Andrea yells out and charges at OGDA. The Craze Champion suddenly springs to his feet and cuts right through Andrea with a spear!!!! The crowd leaps to their feet!!! Andrea nearly lands on her head due to the impact!! She is on the mat, motionless. OGDA remains on all fours, still recovering despite the burst of energy~
Smith: What a spear! My goodness! He’s back in this!
Hood: Retard strength!
Smith: Stop saying that!
Hood: Trust me…the people it would offend won’t understand what I’m saying
Smith: *gasps*
~Andrea slides back against the ropes, clutching her abdomen with her left arm. She reaches up behind her and snares the middle rope, struggling to her feet. OGDA gets to one knee. He looks up and sees Andrea in front of him…vulnerable. OGDA takes off from a sprinter’s position and lunges at Andrea for a spear. Andrea jumps up and leaps over OGDA with a Sunset Flip!! She tries pulling OGDA to the ground. OGDA snares the top rope and prevents from toppling back. He looks down and leaps into the air. He comes down ass first. Andrea moves! OGDA’s ass slams into the mat. He grimaces. Andrea returns to her feet and she delivers a Shining Wizard to the back of OGDA’s head! He falls to the mat, seemingly unconscious. Andrea drags him toward the center of the ring and makes a pin~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!
Smith: OGDA with another kick out! The Craze Champion is showing tons of heart as he tries to successfully defend his title
Hood: Fuck…I hate admitting shit like this. But Andrea looks good
Smith: And this is where you trick me and say you’re only talking about her looks
Hood: We’ve worked together for far too long
~Andrea continues to avoid frustration. She returns to her feet. Her face contorts as she reaches for her abs, they are still in pain. OGDA sits up. He gets to one knee. Andrea fights through her pain and grabs OGDA by the head. She kicks her legs up looking for the ropes to perform a Tornado DDT. OGDA, though, gains control of the situation…he tosses Andrea over, atop his shoulders and drills her into the mat with a Death Valley Driver!! The ring shakes from impact!! Both competitors are down…the crowd is on their feet, cheering for Andrea AND OGDA~
Smith: OGDA’s strength proving to be a factor as this match continues
Hood: Yea man it’s fucking tough…Andrea’s pulled out everything…OGDA hits, like, two moves and they are basically reset
Smith: He’s got the size, Hood. The heavier the punch the harder it hits
Hood: So that’s why you refuse to fight people
~OGDA rolls over. Andrea remains on her back. OGDA struggles to his feet. Andrea finally sits up. She grimaces, reaching for her midsection. Andrea manages to get to her feet. She locates OGDA who is staggering around. She delivers a straight right hand. It connects! OGDA, though, doesn’t sell it. He stands upright with his eyes widened. He wags a finger in Andrea’s face. Hernandez clinches her jaw. She reaches back to give him another. OGDA blocks it and drills Andrea with a stiff punch!!! Andrea stumbles backwards into a corner. She slouches over with her arms hanging over the top ropes. OGDA backs up and places his fist to his forehead~
Smith: Uh oh
Hood: Great
Smith: We’ve seen this before! The OGDA train is leaving the station!
Hood: Please go off the rails
~OGDA yells “NARWHAL!” He sprints toward Andrea and splashes her in the corner!! Andrea stumbles forward, about to topple over. OGDA keeps his hand on his head and yells “NARWHAL!” once more. He hits the ropes and bounces off, sprinting toward Andrea…he takes her down by running her over! She’s on the mat. OGDA leaps on top of Andrea for the pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Andrea survived Rampage of the Narwhal!
Hood: Thank the wrestling deities
Smith: Are you finding religion in your later years?
Hood: Only when it’s convenient
~OGDA is back on his feet! The crowd is entrenched behind him. He’s got all the momentum. Andrea gets to her feet. She appears punch drunk, staggering around. Her back is to OGDA. She turns around and is cut in half with another SPEAR!!! OGDA leaps to his feet, fired up! The crowd is chanting for the Craze Champion!! The OCW Arena is rocking~
Smith: These fans respect Andrea but OGDA…it’s just tough to not get behind this guy
Hood: Our fans make very, very bad decisions
Smith: They go with their hearts, Hood
Hood: Fucking morons
~OGDA steps through the ropes and onto the apron. He’s prepped for Wrath of the Rainbow! He waits for Andrea to get to her feet. She’s wincing, holding her midsection. She tries to sit up but falls back to the canvas. She rolls over and gets to one knee. OGDA’s feet are bouncing around…he’s anxious…he’s ready. She gets to her feet. Her back is to OGDA. She finally turns around. OGDA leaps up, onto the top rope…~
Smith: And here we go…Wrath of the Rainbo….WHAT THE HECK?!
~OGDA suddenly tumbles forward, landing on the mat, roughly. Chad Vargas and PerZag slide into the ring. Mack O’Connor hops on the apron, glaring at Andrea. She’s holding her stomach, wincing in pain. Vargas and PerZag surround her~
Smith: What’s going on?! It’s Team Mack!
Hood: I think you mean Team 2015!
~Andrea tries battling PerZag and Vargas! She’s actually holding her own. That is until another person slides in…it’s Grenier, fresh off his frustrating Oh Shit Battle Royal! He comes in and clobbers Andrea from behind. The trio grab Andrea…they hoist her up and toss her out of the ring. She lands flat on her back outside with a splat/thud. The fans at ringside wince. Mack steps in through the ropes. Team 2015 turn their attention toward OGDA. He’s on all fours, reaching at Mack, trying to get to his feet. The crowd starts to boo~
Smith: Oh no…not the Craze Champion! He’s been through war!
Hood: Welcome to the big leagues, OGDA. Let’s hope BELTY has the ability to spoon feed you when all this is over
Smith: Rude
~Mack BOOTS OGDA in the face! The rest of Team 2015 follow suit. They are stomping the OCW Craze Champion into the mat. The fans in the OCW Arena boo! We hear a “FUCK 2015” chant. Somewhere a guy named Jasper weeps. The bell rings~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen due to interference the referee has ruled this match a NO CONTEST!!!!!
~The crowd boos the decision. Their boos turn when they see OGDA begin to power up! The fans are stunned. He gets to his feet only to suffer HOLLOW POINT from Mack!! He stumbles around and is dropped with The Stroke from Vargas! He’s down. It isn’t looking good~
Smith: We need help out here! They are going to injure OGDA two weeks before Death March
Hood: Exactly
Smith: Ugh…can’t we just sit back and let Death March play out? Why must there be all this violence?!
Hood: Because this is wrestling…this isn’t some shitty ass broadway musical
~Mack motions for Team 2015 to pick OGDA back up. They do. They have him restrained. Mack holds up his right fist and is ready to drill OGDA in the head when the crowd turns toward the entrance way. Our camera cuts and we see Jacob Hotstuff and Adrian Turner rushing to the ring. They slide in and brawl with Vargas, Grenier and PerZag. OGDA falls to one knee upon being released. Mack goes after Turner. Mack and Vargas are brawling with Turner while Grenier and PerZag brawl with Hotstuff. Slowly they start to gain the advantage~
Smith: What is Jacob Hotstuff and his ‘stand in’ doing down here? I don’t get it!
Hood: That makes two of us…if Hotstuff starts hanging out with people like OGDA then his contract value is going to go way down
Smith: I don’t know about that…OGDA is a valuable commodity
Hood: I hope Team 2015 kills these fuckers
~OGDA fights to his feet. He’s battered…but his recovery skills are impressive. He leans against the ropes which he used for leverage to return to his feet. He rushes forward and aids in the battle! We’ve got a four on three situation! Hotstuff, Turner and OGDA are giving it all they’ve got. Mack, Vargas, Zag and Grenier aren’t backing down. The crowd is cheering the action~
Smith: I don’t know what business Hotstuff and Turner have but I’m glad they are standing up for OGDA
Hood: Hotstuff probably wants that Craze Title
Smith: I wouldn’t put anything past that man
~It’s an impressive battle…however four fresh men against 3 men, one of who is exhausted, can only last so long. Mack and Vargas clothesline OGDA, taking him down. Zag and Grenier are getting two punches in to every one punch delivered by Hotstuff and Turner. Mack and Vargas soon join in. The four of them pummel Hotstuff and Turner~
Smith: The tables have once again turned in favor of Team OCW…this is just terrible. They need help
Hood: Too bad they won’t get any. KICK THEIR ASS
~Turner and Hotstuff are reeling in the center of the ring. The four members of Team OCW pause, getting ready to deliver some high impact signature moves. The crowd leaps to their feet. They start to cheer. Mack and Vargas furrow their brows. They turn in time to see Andrea springboard off the top rope and deliver a double dropkick!!! Vargas and Mack hit the mat…they tumble out of the ring. Zag and Grenier go after Andrea. But, as they do, they are rushed by Hotstuff and Turner! Turner and Hotstuff brawl with Grenier and Zag. The duo are against the ropes, near the ramp. Hotstuff and Turner clothesline them over the top rope and to the floor! The fans are going wild~
Smith: Yes! Andrea with the save!
Hood: What the fuck!
~Vargas, Grenier, and Zag want back in the ring but Mack holds them up. OGDA is back on his feet, covered in sweat but ready to go. Andrea gets to her feet. Hotstuff and Turner stare down at Team 2015 from inside the ring. Mack throws his hands at them and turns. The rest of Team 2015 head to the back. The crowd boos heavily~
Smith: What’s wrong? Afraid of a fair fight?
Hood: They made their point.
~Andrea exits the ring. Hotstuff and Turner check on OGDA. Andrea grabs the Craze Title. This quiets the fans. She rolls into the ring with the belt. Hotstuff and Turner take a step back. OGDA looks down at Andrea who heads his way with the belt~
Smith: What is she going to do…
Hood: Hopefully beat the hell out of him with that belt!
~Andrea says a few words. She then hands the belt to OGDA! The crowd cheers! OGDA, Hotstuff, Turner, and Andrea grab each other by the wrist and hold their hands up in unity. The fans chant “TEAM OGDA!”~
Smith: I think we have just witnessed the formation of Team OGDA!
Hood: Seriously? Jacob Hotstuff is siding with this guy? WEAK ASS WEAK ASS!
Smith: Hood, I think you are malfunctioning
~The fans continue to cheer as we get a good, long shot of OGDA’s Death March formidable team. Team 2015 is at the top of the ramp looking down into the ring. Vargas yells curse words. Bob calls them choads. PerZag says they are not worthy. Mack mouths something about needing a drink. We get one more shot of Team OGDA~
Smith: Andrea has found her place! What a team! We’re going to see a team of old school OCW wrestlers against some of the top rising talents in the promotion! What a match!
Hood: I’m with Mack. I need a fucking drink
Smith: Folks, that’s all the time we have for tonight! There’s only one Massacre left until Death March! Don’t miss next week’s episode! Until then I’m Smith saying goodnight everyone…have a great week!
~We fade out to a final shot of Team OGDA~
I have just the thing to wear
I'm a superhero"
It's mayhem!
It's Madness!
Sally is sad cuz she didn't get a hug!~
I'm a superhero
Look at me go"
Hugs!
Lowfives!
Selfies!
All of this going on as OCW's Superhero makes his way to the ring....~
Everyone is happy!
Sally got a hug!
There is so much happiness as the OGDA rolls into the ring and climbs the nearest set of turnbuckles!~