OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, November 26th 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Every year…every single frickin year people turn the page to Christmas the day after Halloween. It’s as though Thanksgiving is this insignificant, innocuous holiday that we breeze through without any lingering effects. Well I’m here to tell you that it’s all a FARCE. Thanksgiving packs a punch, man. A wicked punch. A Mack O’Connor punch. A five day weekend of drinking, eating, and, if you’re lucky, some skin on skin contact with something other than your hand. And as with all holidays there comes payback. A person can’t have fun without paying a price. That price comes today. Work has piled up. It must be taken care of. Which, ya know, is never fun…especially when you’re hungover as fuck. But, that’s okay. We’ve done this before. We’ve been here before. Plus, work only lasts as long as a person allows it to linger. Once work is completed more fun may ensue. And that’s exactly where we sit right now. We are back home. The comfort of relaxation. We’ve got some leftovers heated up. A stout, winter ale has been opened. The television is on airing some ridiculous Christmas movie on STARZ. We hate Christmas movies. Not because we are anti-Christmas. We hate them because most of them suck…yet people give them a pass because, ya know, FUCKIN CHRISTMAS MAN. Anyway, the movie reaches its predictable and all too formulaic conclusion. The credits roll to the tune of a shitty pop culture song with a heavily digitized sound meant to mask the numerous flaws in both production and vocal execution. Then, silence. Oh the sweet sound of silence. We grab our plate of scalding, nuclear hot leftovers with one hand and our ice cold, thick beer with the other. We rush for the couch. We pause and take a slow seat so we don’t spill our shit everywhere. We look up and there it is…THERE IT IS…that sweet, sweet OCW logo. It’s Massacre time! We made it! We survived the post holiday Monday! Good job, boyo. We cut into the OCW Arena. It’s sold out. The fans are all about three and a half pounds heavier. But their spirit remains as active as ever. A loud “OCW” chant fills the arena. We settle in on Smith and Hood. It’s time to get started~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me as always is Hood!
Hood: WHY DID I EAT SO MUCH
Smith: When? Today? Yesterday? Thursday?
Hood: ALL OF THE ABOVE
Smith: Because it’s the holiday season, Hood.
Hood: Fuckin holidays
Smith: We at OCW hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Thanks for joining us tonight on the post-Thanksgiving episode of Massacre. We are three weeks away from Death March which is setting up to be the biggest event of 2018
Hood: A true blow out to end the year
Smith: Indeed! Several huge announcements have been made with more to follow. I’m told we’re in store for a few bombshells this evening
Hood: Sweet, I do love some eye candy
Smith: I’m talking about Death March team announcements!
Hood: Oh well, yea, that’s cool too
Smith: We’ve got a few big time debuts. A couple of in ring returns and a hard hitting, hoss match main event in store. So…
~A familiar, funky beat blasts through the OCW Arena. The entire crowd leaps to their feet with that ‘OOHHHH SHIT!’ vibe. They all turn toward the entrance ramp~
Smith: What a minute…is it…could it be?!
Hood: Don’t mess with my emotions production truck!
Smith: I think we all know who this is!
Hood: The man, the myth, the legend…the only guy with balls big enough to misspell his name and yell at people for misspelling it!
Smith: Uh, sure
I used to be broke, confused..no joke
~The crowd goes wild as LURRR emerges from behind the curtain! He’s sporting a Houston Astros hoodie and that signature arrogant smirk. He remains on the stage, gauging the crowd’s interest. The fans are on their feet chanting for the OCW original. The first Hall of Famer. The first OCW World Champion. The MAN himself…LURRR~
Smith: It’s Lurrr! I wonder what he’s doing here?!
Hood: Death March, Smith. It’s bringing out all the classics
Smith: It has garnered the attention of the professional wrestling world, for sure. But I have to think Lurrr’s interest reside elsewhere
Hood: You mean…
Smith: A match being touted as a contest to determine the best wrestler in OCW history. You know that’s got to stick in Lurrr’s craw
Hood: Stick in his craw? Where in the hell are you from?!
Smith: Sorry, just seeing Lurrr is bringing back all this southern nomenclature. I’ll attempt to relocate my traditional journalistic parlance.
~The crowd continues chanting for Lurrr. He deems their unadulterated joy acceptable and hustles down the ramp. He moves around well for a man his age. He reaches the ringside area and slides in under the bottom rope. He pops to his feet and crouches into his signature ‘flex’ position. He poses for the crowd. The fans go wild with nostalgia! Lurrr smiles and says “That’s right!” before releasing the pose and popping to his feet. He motions for a mic. Belvedere tosses one to the ICON. Lurrr looks toward the back and does the ‘throat slit’. His music is cut off. The crowd continues to chant “LURRR! LURRR! LURRR!”~
Smith: Listen to these fans! They are overjoyed to see the icon of OCW!
Hood: As they should be! There’d be no OCW without the hard work of Lurrr
Smith: Indeed!
Lurrr: Man it sounds like you guys missed me just a little bit...
~The crowd goes nuts and begins to chant the ICON's name again. Lurrr goes to hold up the mic to his mouth and then drops it again as he relishes in the continued chants. Lurrr then hops up on the mid turnbuckle and raises both arms as this crowd continues to go nuts chanting his name. He hops back down and finds himself back in the middle of the ring~
Lurrr: And to be honest with you... with all these new era pussies in the back... I don't blame you guys one bit for missing me!!!!
Smith: Lurrr already going after the new era roster!
Hood: Well of course he is…the man is old school, Smith. He has no idea what shit like Twitter and Instagrab means
Smith: It’s Instagram!
Hood: Like the cracker, cookie?
Smith: You’re just as bad as he is!
Lurrr: So the biggest question on everybody's mind right now is why? Why do we see another over the hill legend walking down the ramps and entering an OCW ring? Why has the best of all time decided to show up tonight? Why has the ICON, the Main Event, the first ever OCW Champion, the first ever and still reigning OCW Hall of Fame Champion feel the need to hop back in the squared circle and put a mic in front of his face once again?
~The crowd breaks out in chant again as we hear "You're the Best! You're the Best! You're the Best!"~
Lurrr: Haha well we all know I don't need any reminding of that but it's nice you guys can educate the locker room in the back. It's pretty plain and simple why I showed up tonight... a couple of weeks ago there was this huge monumental history making match announced to determine the best this company has ever offered. And I was in shock and disbelief that words like "the best this company has to offer" could be uttered without a text or phone call sent my way. I told myself man they must be talking about a women's division revival cause I know they can't be putting those words together without mentioning me and the Men's division right?
Smith: This is 2018, Lurrr! Get with the times!
Hood: He does bring up a good point. Where is the women’s division and why can’t we bring it back?
Smith: How dare you! MJ Bell, Alice Knight, Brianna Casablancas, Melinda Rhodes, Andrea Hernandez and many, many others have proven time after time that the women are just as capable and entertaining as the men
Hood: Speak for yourself…wait, I take it back. Shut up, Lurrr’s about to continue talking!
Lurrr: But low and behold the fucking idiots in the back who run this shit show now were fixing to make an announcement that was going to cheat the fans. Then it came... the current OCW Champion Matt Meyhu vs. the OCW Hall of Famer Scott Syren for the most prized possession in our business today at Death March....They were going to cheat all of you out there because they really weren't going to decide who was the best ever because I wasn't in this match and that's just wrong to cheat the fan base that keeps this thing going.
~The crowd begins to boo loudly~
Lurrr: Yeah I know old era vs. new era to decide once and for all who really is the best!!! I mean to think that the last time I was in an OCW ring I was standing toe to toe with one half of this so called dream match-up, Scott Syren... we faced off for the OCW Hall of Fame Title, which by the way I still own, and I proceeded to whip Syren's ass all night long. But somehow he is deemed as the best option to take on this unbeatable Meyhu character? I mean look I get it Meyhu has had one hell of a run with this video game playing, twitter verse keyboard hero, whiny little bitch new era...I mean yes you guys in the back literally whine, bitch, and moan about everything and it makes me sick...fucking Millennial's.... you know what's funny about most of you guys in the back... you sit there and cry about what's not fair and you cry about being criticized and you cry about how you get treated...most of you in the back wouldn't have made it two days back in the old era. Hell you wouldn't have even made it out of the training facility because you would have cried about how you were talked down to and how you weren't treated like your mommy and daddy would with a silver spoon in your mouth. Let's just face the facts... this new era in the back is the biggest collection of bitches I have ever seen in our business and it's embarrassing to watch it week in and week out.
~The crowd is split on Lurrr’s take concerning modern day society. The younger fans are booing. The older fans are going wild~
Lurrr: Ok anyways so back to why I showed up for tonight.. I made a couple of calls after stewing over this "history making" match and a lot of people don't really realize, including some of the new regime walking in the back, how much power my lifetime contract gives me. I can show up whenever I want, say whatever I want at any time and there isn't a damn thing this goofball Zybala can do about it and there definitely isn't anything Marcus Welsh can do about it either. Good ole Deano made that iron clad and not even the best lawyers in the country can get around it! So I am here to make a little announcement of my own... you can't have this match to determine the best without having the exact definition of the best, yours truly, involved.
~The crowd goes nuts in anticipation of what this announcement will bring to Death March~
Lurrr: So I am going to be involved by hell or high water!!! And even though OCW tried to lawyer up, get me barred, and suspend my contract I am still here tonight. Now I know most of you really feel that this match should be turned into a Triple Threat match... well I’m sorry to say that OCW’s officials, namely Marcus Welsh, have made it clear to me that won’t be happening.
~The crown boos~
Lurrr: But I said fuck you anyways!!! I will still be in the ring and I will cause all kinds of chaos no matter what....
~Lurrr pulls off his Astros pullover to reveal an OCW Referee shirt~
Lurrr: I WILL BE THE GUEST REFEREE!!! And I will guarantee one damn thing.. I am going to ensure that this will be one night this company will never, ever forget!!!!
~Lurrr throws the mic down and gives the camera a couple of crotch shots as he jumps out of the ring and walks to the back~
Smith: Whoa!!
Hood: Oh man!
Smith: Lurrr is going to be the special ref at Death March! He’s going to be the person in charge of deciding who wins between Matt Meyhu and Scott Syren!
Hood: Lurrr’s always been a rival of Syren. But he’s no fan of this new era OCW. Which side is he going to lean toward?
Smith: That is an excellent question, Hood. There is no Dean around for Lurrr to side with. He’s truly out on an island in this incarnation of OCW. Where will his loyalties lie at Death March? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out!
Got used, smoked dope, paid dues
Refused to give up quick,
Now theres 10 million motherfuckers on my dick
~Backstage Joe Jones is spotted slowly making his way towards the locker rooms with his phone in his hand and is rocking his white fur coat. He walks past the male locker room and walks right up to the female locker room door. Without hesitation he turns the door handle and pushes the door in.~
Sugar Valentine “And just where do you think you’re going?”
~Joe barely gets one foot inside the locker room as Sugar is pushing him back out of the locker room as he was inside the room just waiting for something like this to happen.~
Joe Jones “Excuse me?”
Sugar Valentine “No excuse for ya. This here is the girls locker room and you’re not welcomed here. You feel me?”
~Joe slides his phone into his coat pocket.~
Joe Jones “Sugar is it?”
Sugar Valentine “That’s right.”
Joe Jones “I’ve heard about you. Look. What happened a couple of weeks ago, I’m sorry. I was out of line, I should have at least knocked. But you see, I’m this close to getting a deal done for Death March. I just need to talk to…”
Sugar Valentine “She ain’t in there.”
Joe Jones “Okay? She just texted me and said she was so,”
Sugar Valentine “But she ain’t.”
~Joe takes a step back and quickly thinks this one over as Sugar stands guard in front of the door.~
Joe Jones “Well, in that case. Can I get my stuff then?”
Sugar Valentine “Your stuff? You ain’t got no stuff in there.”
Joe Jones “Look, Sugar, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but here’s the thing.”
~Joe steps in towards Sugar and gets real close to him, how close? Close enough to whisper in his ear.~
Joe Jones “I identify as a female, so, you know, my gear is in there. I don’t feel comfortable being in mens room.”
~Joe steps back and checks the hallway to make sure no one else was around to hear that confession. Sugar removes the tooth pick from his mouth and tosses it on the floor.~
Sugar Valentine “Is that so? Joe?”
Joe Jones “uhm, It’s Joanne….”
Sugar Valentine “Joe? Anne?”
Joe Jones “Correct. But, you know, one word. Joanne. So…..pardon me.”
Sugar Valentine “You know something, Joe…”
Joe Jones “Anne.”
Sugar Valentine “I identify as Mandingo.”
~Joe raises an eyebrow.~
Sugar Valentine “Try as I might, I won’t be on the set of Brazzers anytime soon. So, you’re going to have to move along, Joe.”
~Joe smiles.~
Joe Jones “I feel we might have gotten off on the wrong foot. Listen, let me make this up to you so that’s there's no….”
~Joe glances down.~
Joe Jones “Hard, feelings between us. Let me buy you dinner. I have a buddy just down the street at the Olive Garden. I’ll give him a ring and let him know that you’ll be in after the show. Dinner is on me. Here.”
~Joe reaches in his pocket and pulls out a Olive Garden gift card, and holds it so the camera can see it clearly and hands it to Sugar.~
Joe Jones “Take a couple of friends. There’s plenty on there. There’s more than enough…”
~As Sugar goes to take the gift card, Joe pulls it towards him thus bringing Sugar in with him.~
Joe Jones “To go around, if you feel me.”
~Joe lets go of the card and turns and walks away pulling his phone out of his pocket. Sugar pops a new toothpick in his mouth, glances at the gift card and watches Joe walk down the hallway, slowly shaking his head.~
Smith: Sugar Valentine already making a difference, I suppose
Hood: It’s a good thing he works for OCW. Only in OCW can you deny someone who identifies as a different gender.
Smith: Yes we do seem to be stuck in the early 00s most of the time
Hood: That’s why I’m still here
Smith: I think this would be an appropriate time to mention The Olive Garden. Folks, stop on by at your nearest Olive Garden and give them the secret code “Marvelous” for twenty five percent off on all house wine!
Hood: Don’t you mean boxed wine?
Smith: I wouldn’t know. But, yes, come one down because, as they like to say at the Olive Garden…When you’re here…
Hood: You’re gay
Smith: Classy AND witty…good one, Hood…
Hood: I do my best!
Smith: Well folks we're already off to a hot start tonight! So let's head down to the ring to keep things going as the Queenslayer Legion makes her OCW debut!
|
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the Queenslayer Legion (0-0) vs. Jack Puffer (0-2)
~The fans in the OCW Arena are settled in and ready for a night full of action! Nine matches on tonight’s show certainly mirrors last Thursday when everyone sat down and gorged themselves with way too much food. Thankfully it appears most of the patrons within the arena are beginning to crawl out from under their food comas. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring from Aurora, Illinois…Jack Puffer!
~Puffer holds up a wishbone! The crowd is, at first, surprised. Their surprise is followed immediately by disgust. Has he been holding onto that thing since Thursday? Fuckin gross, man~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The sound of a clock counting down hits the P.A. system and there is a mixed reaction from the fans as the arena is plunged into darkness. As the clock winds down, the image of a novelty snow globe comes up on the big screen. It’s fashioned like a snow globe, except it looks as though there is a desert sandstorm going on within! Being buried by layers upon layers of sand, it seems as though a miniature Starlight is in a deep slumber..~
Belvedere: “Coming to us from AOKIGAHARA, JAPAN..”
~The desert snow globe shatters loudly as the main part of the song kicks in. The Legion inside is wide awake with purpose. Like a true ronin, the miniature Legion from the globe is up to her feet and ready for action, and she becomes full size in front of the eyes of the fans on the big screen. The fans cheer as the house lights fade back in, accompanied by neon blue searchlights emanating from the side of the ramp, and they cheer even louder as the curtains are thrown back and Starlight appears on the entrance ramp with a confident, knowing smile..~
Belvedere: “Standing at FIVE FOOT THREE INCHES tall and weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN POUNDS! REPRESENTING JAPAN”
[Violin drop]
~Legion makes her way down the ramp at the same pace as the music, reaching ringside and climbing the steps before leaping majestically over the top rope and throwing up her trademark taunt to another cheer..~
Belvedere: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE QueenSlayer, the Last Ronin Legion
Smith: We’re getting our first look at The QueenSlayer. She looks the part
Hood: Halloween was last month!
Smith: I’d be careful saying that kind of stuff if I were you. She’s no joke
~Belvedere exits the ring and the bell sounds~
Smith: I don’t think Puffer stands much of a chance
Hood: Seriously? I’m just surprised the guy is able to find the ring
~Legion focuses her attention on Puffer. The sounding of the bell got her attention. Puffer holds up the wishbone. It has an impact on the crowd. They, too, look at it. Puffer seizes each side with a hand and begins to pull. It’s taking him much longer than it should to rip the bone apart~
Smith: Jack Puffer trying to earn a wish, I guess?
Hood: How the fuck does that work with one guy? Seems like cheating the system to me
~Puffer rips the bone in half!!! He casts the BIG side away and holds the smaller side up in triumph. The crowd laughs. Puffer seems confused~
Smith: Ugh, Jack…
Hood: Haha, what an idiot!
~Someone in the crowd yells out “YOU WANT THE BIG SIDE YOU FUCKING MORON!” Puffer looks at the piece of bone he’s holding and lowers his head in defeat. He tosses it aside and does sort of a Charlie Brown walk toward the middle of the ring~
Smith: A dejected detective
Hood: How long have you wanted to say that?
Smith: Longer than I care to admit
~He walks right into Legion! He pauses. His eyes widen. He realizes he’s in deep shit. He looks up and cracks a half smile. Legion suddenly blows a thick cloud of red mist into Puffer’s eyes!!! Puffer staggers around before getting drilled with a Claymore Kick!!!! He collapses to the mat, unconscious. Legion makes the nonchalant cover as the crowd counts along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell sounds~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…THE QUEENSLAYER LEGION!!!!!
Smith: She just about took his head off!
Hood: She tried to do him a favor
Smith: My goodness what a kick!
Hood: Yea, she wasn’t fucking around
Smith: Heck of a debut for Legion!
~Legion exits the ring leaving a red faced, unconscious Jack Puffer. The small part of the wishbone is thrown and somehow finds a spot next to his head~
Smith: Par for the course, I suppose
Hood: Just another chapter in the life of Jack Puffer
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
Tony Savage: This shit's sexy, ain't it
~Tony Savage is outside the OCW arena, leaning against one of his favorite toys whilst smoking a cigarette and checking his text messages. This bad boy....~
Savage: 2019 Aston Martin Vulcan. This motherfucker came with all the fixings like Thanksgiving dinner. $1.2 million is what the sticker on the window said it took to bring it home. Know what I said whilst I broke out the dough for the dealer...
Just like me; worth every goddamn penny.
~Tony finishes his smoke and gives the ride a quick wipe before he gets his bags out of the car.~
Motherfuckers wanna blow some smoke up people's asses about this sport being about respect and honor and some other bullshit. Nah, this thing's just like any other endeavor in the world; it's a business. What can you do for me, what can you put in my pockets. Lots of dip-shits in tights don't have that sense; they think like children. That's why most of them just bump their gums about what they bring to the sport, but me....*points back at the whip*....I don't need to tell when I can show.
Tonight, I gotta send Mfer into orbit with my fist. Just another clown 'bout to get kicked out the circus. He's what I'd like to call a product demonstration for the captains of Death March. Because right now, weeks before the big PPV, everybody trying to get that extra something to get them over the hump.
It's Christmas, motherfuckers. Uncle T's coming down the chimney with a gift for a certain extra good boy and girl...
Victory.
Tonight, y'all get to see me do what I do: be one of the best that ever done it. Break a jobber down like a cardboard box, and look fucking gorgeous doing it.
That's my gift to all interested party. But like any good dope boy; the first hit's for free. After that, you gotta pay to play.
Some of y'all might balk at the price tag. Don't....
You gotta pay for quality. And when that product has my name on it...
Quality....guaranteed!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Tony Savage looks focused, Hood
Hood: This man has main event level potential, Smith. No doubt
Smith: He's certainly got that 'OCW' vibe to him, no doubt. It will be interesting to see where his career goes from here...it all begins, again, tonight against Mfer
Hood: Yea I hope he beats down that stupid mother fucker
Hood: Great. Not only is she back, but she is going speak. Do you remember how much she just drones on.
Smith: Brianna was quite well known for her monologues.
Hood: She was well known for putting the audience to sleep. Just wrestle the damn match and, please, for the love of God, don’t say anything. It is that simple.
Brianna Casablancas: Some things just click, now don’t they? There are some pairings that are just a bit electric, isn’t there? I believe that some environments just bring the best out in us. I believe that is the case with me and an OCW ring. Yes, yes ...there was some unpleasantries in the past between myself and this company. And no, I didn’t think I’d ever be back here again. But I couldn’t sit by and let my ol’ mate Alice keep being used as a martyr for another guy trying to make a name for himself. So ...I made the right calls and made sure to be standing by if Aidan Collins would try the same song and dance we’ve all seen numerous times before by people like him. I wasn’t exactly planning on getting THAT involved. I certainly didn’t see myself becoming a de-facto member of Mario Maurako’s family by the end of the night ...but then something happened when my music hit and I entered the ring.
~She stops for a moment, getting a tad bit emotional at the thought of being back where she belongs. The fans cheer even louder as she presses onward. ~
Brianna Casablancas: That feeling came back. That surge of energy I would get when you fans were cheering and I knew I was raining on some pratt’s parade came back. It was magic and I could ONLY get that sensation here in OCW. And I kindly thank you all for welcoming me back with open arms.
~The fans roar with approval as she does a quick bow to them.~
Brianna Casablancas: But here is the situation and why I came here alone. I would like to address Aidan Collins, Bifford, and whoever else they happen to recruit for their team. First, I will start by telling you something you’ve probably heard from most women in your life. That is this…
~She quickly pauses as her smile widens even more. It is a look of daring and courage towards her opponents.~
Brianna Casablancas: ...you will not be able to handle me.
~She chuckles a bit as she continues.~
Brianna Casablancas: Yes, I am sure you are scoffing at this right now. But our team is stronger than yours. Hell, it was even before I joined up. Maurako is a cunning leader and Alice has amazing perseverance and charisma. We only need one more member before our squad is complete and I trust that Mario will lock down someone that will compliment what we have scrounge together so far. But here is what Mario doesn’t know. In fact, he didn’t approve me doing what I am about to do. I do so hope he forgives me for this.
~Even Brianna looks a bit unsure about what she is going to do, but she does it anyways~
Brianna Casablancas: Aidan, I am going to tell you exactly how to beat me. I am going to give you every single piece of information you need to eliminate me from our match at Death March. Why would I be so mental as to do this? Because it won’t matter. You won’t listen. The insecure wankers never do. Still, I feel it imperative to give you a fighting chance. Afterall, you have A LOT being invested in you right now and I’d for Marcus Welsh’s plans go up in smoke without a little bit of forewarning.
Hood: Wait. She is only getting started. GODDAMMIT! This speech is going to run the rest of our airtime isn’t it.
Smith: She’s always been verbose.
Hood: She’s always been long winded.
Brianna Casablancas: So here is my advice to you ...do not fill up your roster with others like you. I can do things to people like you that will scar you for life. No, not physically, but that too as well. I am talking more about the thing you hold most dear: your ego. Bifford wasn’t a bad shout actually. Man is a beast, but her certainly has way more appeal than you do. Orthodox doesn’t define him. I will admit, he will be a tough competitor to get my mind around. I’ll give you credit, he was a good choice. But how much of that was you choosing him rather than Welsh whispering in your ear. I don’t think you are THAT familiar with this company’s legacy for him to be your first choice. I think it was a matter of convenience rather than a battle strategy you came up with. Still, I am quite excited for the challenge that you have provided to me. Smashing job.
~Her looks sours a bit, while still keeping her cheery demeanor.~
Brianna Casablancas: ...but then word gets out that you invited Tony Savage onto your team. Firstly, if you were planning for a big reveal, that bloke blew it for you. Secondly, I’ve made an OCW career off of men like Tony Savage. You know, people who stand for absolutely nothing, but their own self-centered entitlement. He gets what he wants? Then what? It doesn’t matter. He got what he wants, so he just throws it away. He talked about all of the titles he held and how he wants a piece of Mayhue. What he didn’t talk about is what he does after he wins those titles. He never cared enough about them to want to keep them or even hold himself as champion. There is a reason he was the most bollocks world champion Boardwalk Wrestling has ever had, because it was just an accolade for him. He won it and then didn’t care about defending it like a champion, disrespecting his fans and admirers. It was just a thing to win. How do you think that mindset is going to play out as a member of your team? Those of us who actually know the stakes and have reasons to fight will always BEST men like him because we have purpose.
~Her passion is showing now as fans cheer on this speech.~
Brianna Casablancas: So please, Aidan, waste your money and a spot on the Tony Savages of the world. You are just guaranteeing a clean sweep for Team Maurako. Hell, maybe not even that. He reminds me a lot of some of the members of The Family I led a team against at War Games. With the exception of Mario, one by one they realized that our team was becoming too strong and that they didn’t have the manpower to beat us, So, one by one, that team fell apart until there was no team. The only other thing that Tony Savage cares as much about as accolades is being able to look cool; being able to THINK he is some kind of badass. Bad asses don’t like the idea of being pinned by a ballerina who spits in the face of macho convention. If there is even a whiff that he has joined the wrong side, he might not even show up to Death March. He is a bad investment on your part and you were foolish to even flirt with the idea that he would be able to get the job done.
~She pauses once more before continuing.~
Brianna Casablancas: Here is my advice on the recruiting issue. Get people who are HUNGRY. Get people who aren’t looking for a trophy for their collection, but men and women who NEED to get their name on the map. Find teammates who can benefit from beating two hall of famers and an undefeated former Central Champion. You provide a great chance for young talent, much like yourself, who benefit just by being on the opposite side of the ring as us. Pinfall victories against the likes of us come few and far between for them. Hellraven already got snatched up. Andrea Hernandez is still out there. Go to them. Go to those looking for that first accolade that will launch them into stardom because they actually give a damn about the war they will be waging in your name. Stop wasting your time and money with mercenaries and fortune hunters. They aren’t going to do anything for you.
Hood: And of course, there is more. There is always more. She somehow thinks everyone needs to hear her opinions on everything.
Smith: She does have some interesting thoughts about environmental waste protection. You can read her blog.
Brianna Casablancas: But perhaps my biggest piece of advice is this: take advantage of the fact that I will be looking to tarnish your name before it is even a thing here in OCW. Again, you hurt my friends, you incur my wrath. But my wrath isn’t about blood and beatings. It is about revealing that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. It is about humiliating. It is about exposing all of your flaws as a man to the whole world. It is about taking any arrogance you have and grinding it into powder. I will stop at no means to get in your head and make you a laughing stock to this whole company. When I beat you; when I pinpoint every single insecurity that you mask with bravado, I will not let you forget it. No one will let you forget it. You will just be another guy who came in here who just couldn’t live up to his own bloody hype. If I were you, I would try your bloody best to use that to your advantage. Try to outwit me. Ask The Incredible One, beatings and brutality alone aren’t going to keep me down because I don’t fight with those things. I fight with my mind. I fight with strategy. I fight cunning ...and yes, I fight with passion. You single handedly woke that passion inside me when you put your hands on Alice and it is a pity for you that you made that call. I’ll be seeing you at death march, love.
~She hands the mic back before waiting for her match to start as the fans are one hundred percent behind her.~
|
|
Brianna Casablancas (0-0) vs. Shootah (0-2)
~Shootah very nervously makes his way down the ramp and toward the ring. Brianna pays him no mind. She’s too busy getting limbered up and focused for her match. Shootah steps into the ring. There is an electricity leading into this match he isn’t accustomed to. This Brianna return has the OCW Arena hyped! Shootah is getting sort of caught up in the hoopla~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!!
~The crowd yells out “ONE FALL!” They are hyped. Shootah even yells out ONE FALL in an attempt to be a part of the excitement. Belvedere raises an eyebrow at the oblivious sacrificial lamb~
Belvedere: Introducing first, currently in the ring…Shootah!
~Shootah yells out ‘SHOOTAH!’ Nobody joins in. He looks around with a huge smile. Once he realizes nobody is going to be joining in his smile dissipates and he turns, standing in the corner with his head slightly down~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…From London, England…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 123lbs…she is a former two time OCW Central Champion…please welcome back the “Adjective” Brianna Casablancas!!!
~Brianna smiles and acknowledges the cheering fans. The crowd chants her name. Belvedere gives her a respectful nod of the head, something the ring announcer rarely does. He exits. The bell sounds and we are ready to begin~
Smith: A return over four years in the making, Hood
Hood: Something I never thought I’d see. I’m sure there are those backstage who are less than thrilled that this is taking place
Smith: Marcus Welsh promised that he’d bring in the best talent possible and that’s what he’s done since taking over. I may not like the man. But you can’t argue with the roster that’s been assembled under his watch.
Hood: Yea and just imagine if Zybala weren’t around. The roster would probably be twice as talented!
Smith: Yea, I don’t thinks o
~Brianna faces Shootah. Shootah is frightened. He’s quivering. Somebody should stop booking this man. Brianna heads toward Shootah. Shootah cowers. Brianna reaches out and pats Shootah on the back. Shootah looks up. He’s still gun shy but Brianna’s good nature seems to be easing his guard down just a bit~
Smith: Brianna is one of the kindest, most respectful wrestlers in OCW history. Her presence is a blessing to us all. I’m so glad she’s back especially in these uncertain times
Hood: Quit reminding me! You’re ruining my excitement level over her return! Give me more Tony Savage and less adjectives!
~Brianna extends a hand of friendship. Shootah reaches out with his skinny, bony, sore covered hand. Brianna spots his diseased hand and thinks twice. She shoves his arm down and reaches out, giving Shootah a pat on the shoulder as a quick, health related audible~
Smith: Shootah doesn’t shower much. That’s the life of an assistant to a struggling porn director
Hood: Yea I saw him touch the holy water at a church once. The next person who touched it fell instantly ill with leprosy
Smith: They did not!
Hood: Show me proof it didn’t happen!
~Brianna backs away and bounces around, ready for combat. Shootah tentatively approaches. The crowd is on the edge of their seats. They can’t wait to see what Brianna is going to bust out. Shootah grows with confidence. What he once saw as a lion he now sees as a friendly house cat. He stands upright, exposing his chin and, well, we soon see how big of a mistake that was. Brianna lunges forward with THE SUPER EGO KICK!!! Shootah staggers backward, falling into the corner. The buckles keep him from hitting the mat. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: The Super Ego Kick! Brianna’s finishing move from 2014!
Hood: Yea she kicked a lot of people’s teeth out of their stupid heads with that move
Smith: Some more than others…
Hood: TIO, I think Smith just threw some shade at your clean shaven chin
~Brianna grabs Shootah by the hair and tosses him out of the corner. He tumbles to the mat, coming to rest on his back. Brianna quickly scales the corner, reaching the top. She looks down at Shootah and leaps off with a 630 Splash (It Means Everything)!!!! The ring shakes from impact. Scruff is ready to count…but Brianna has one more move in her medical bag~
Smith: She’s not done yet!
Hood: Now I’m beginning to remember her sadistic ways…she’s evil! Pure evil!
Smith: She is not!
~Brianna yanks Shootah to his feet. She manages to get his skinny body up in a Press Slam. The crowd ‘ooohs’, impressed. Brianna tosses Shootah in the air…he plummets to the mat and is drilled with a European Uppercut!!! Shootah flips backward, landing on his back!!! The crowd goes wild for the impressive, high impact maneuver. Brianna makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winners….“ADJECTIVE” BRIANNA CASABLANCAS!!!!!
Smith: And she does it! She looks better than ever!
Hood: Yea well let’s all keep our pants on. It was Shootah, after all
Smith: That it was but let’s give her credit…she did exactly what she was supposed to do. And that finishing move she calls Whatever Happened to Predictability looks absolutely devastating
Hood: Yea, well good luck doing that to Aidan Collins or The Big Bifford
Smith: I’m sure she will adjust
~The cameras cut backstage. The cameras focus on a door for a split second before shifting upwards, revealing the door to be the locker room of Ed Houston. All of the sudden Houston walks out. When the door is fully closed he turns and almost runs straight in to Curt Canon.~
Houston: “Ah! Curt. What? How long have you been standing there?”
Canon: “ You literally walked right past me when you went in there….It really is just one disrespectful moment after another with you. Win one Championship, beat a couple Hall of Famers and you think you can walk around this place like you own it.”
Houston laughs: “It would have been disrespectful to drop you right here. You gotta speak up man.” Houston pauses for a second. “Oh! That’s why you’re here! You did speak up last week on Twitter. You wanted to up the ante for our match for some crazy reason. I guess losing your chance to become the final Lightweight Champion wasn’t good enough for you. What did you have in mind? Checkers on a pole or something?”
Canon: “ I bet you would like that, you would just love to have me put one of my best friends on the line. You would love to rip him away from me just like he did, but I will never risk that again. You see Ed I am sick putting me and my life and my accomplishments on the line. Everyone seems to think you are the next best thing in OCW, so why don't you put something on the line. See how you fare when the stakes are high, when you have something to lose.”
Houston: “I will! What about my number 1 contendership to the Savage Championship. I already beat one OCW Hall of Famer. Might as well make it two!”
Canon: “You took the words right out of my mouth Rocketman. If Team Houston wins you get to keep your Savage title opportunity and continue to try and build a legacy that will surpass mine. If Team Canon wins I take your shot, but don't worry too much Ed. When my team decimates yours and I take that opportunity and then go on to win the OCW Savage Title I will give a shot….after I give one to all my team members. Good things usually come to those who wait Ed. Unfortunately you will be waiting for a long time to get your hands on OCW gold again.”
Houston laughs: “If you’re big match record was a little better I might be a bit more scared. I gotta go Curt. I’m about to announce the team that’s going to beat yours!”
~Curt gets a smirk on his face as Houston pushes past him and walks down the hallway as the cameras cut away.~
Smith: Ed is going to put his Savage Title shot on the line at Death March!
Hood: Guy is acting like he actually passed NASA academy...his head is swelling to the size of an actual astronaut helmet
Smith: Hmm
Hood: Yes, phrasing, I know
Smith: Regardless...these two have been going back and forth since September. Death March could be the match to finally settle their issues. Curt's already got Mike Harrison in the bag along with another unknown ally. Can he secure TIO tonight?
Hood: I don't know but it sounds like Ed's already got his team stashed away
Smith: Indeed he does and, if he's to be believe, then we will find out the identity of his team later tonight! My gosh what a night we have in store!
|
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Non-Title Match
OGDA © (5-2) vs. Paralysis (1-2)
~The crowd is watching the tail end of an Olive Garden commercial. The commercial mentions something about authentic Italian food. The entire crowd laughs and chants “BULL SHIT!” Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a non-title match and it is scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first…
~“Decayer” by Pray for Sound hits. The crowd stands. They give a decent reaction to Paralysis. He emerges from behind the curtain and marches down to the ring, ignoring the fans with more than a hint of arrogance. He reaches the ring, rolls in and pops back to his feet~
Belvedere: From Another Dimension…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 223lbs…Paralysis!
Smith: Paralysis back out her for what feels like the third week in a row
Hood: He’s being worked vigorously
Smith: He’s dropped his last two matches so a win tonight would be optimal
Hood: Yea, it’s just too bad he’s facing the man with 47 chromosomes
Smith: RUDE!
~A rainbow shoots over the entrance way....~
"Most of the time I guess I am!"
~OGDA runs out from the back to a huge pop from every Shining Star in attendance!~
"But if there's trouble I'll be there
~The Rainbow Warriors are flooding the ramp area to the ring just to get close to OGDA!
"Look at me go!
~Highfives!
"Flying through the sky,
Fighting the bad guys,
There's no need to fear
Cuz I'll be here"
~The children are reunited with their parents!
"I'll be your superhero"
~Everyone! Sing along!~
Belvedere: And his opponent…From the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320ishlbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion…Orgulloso Guardian Del Arcoiris!!!
~OGDA slides into the ring upon hearing his name. He stands tall and triumphant~
Smith: OGDA!! Always brings a smile to everyone’s face!
Hood: I blame the cosplay movement
Smith: Cosplay movement?
Hood: Yea, all these weirdos who dress up as creatures, characters, or whatever…seems like that shit only happened on Halloween or the occasional casual Friday
Smith: Nothing wrong with people expressing themselves
Hood: Expressing themselves by pretending to be someone else? Fuck that shit
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits the ring. We are ready to go!~
Smith: OGDA, the Craze Champion, is looking to bounce back after a tough loss two weeks ago against Aidan Collins
Hood: To be fair that would be like the city of Pompeii trying to defeat Mount Vesuvius
Smith: Regardless of your crass metaphor…OGDA was coming off the biggest win of his OCW career only to run up against the new FACE of OCW. As good as Collins is it’s hard for me to think management is going to place him in a losing situation
Hood: You saying the shit was rigged?
Smith: I’m not saying that. I’m simply saying nobody wants to face Collins right now. The odds are stacked in his favor
Hood: Hmm…sounds like a conspiracy theory to me…
~Paralysis goes right after OGDA. The Craze Champion is removing his belt as he’s ambushed. He drops the belt. It hits the mat. OGDA’s shuffling feet kick it out of the ring. Paralysis is peppering the champion with lefts and rights. OGDA staggers into the ropes. Paralysis whips OGDA off the ropes. OGDA sprints across the ring. Paralysis leans into the ropes and bounces off, chasing the champion. OGDA bounces off the ropes and cuts Paralysis in half with a SPEAR!!! The crowd leaps to their feet!! OGDA pops up, full of energy and fire~
Smith: What a spear!
Hood: Paralysis might be, well…you know
Smith: Yes, we know
Hood: Paralyzed
Smith: You didn’t have to say it!
~OGDA yanks Paralysis to his feet, via his thick hair and instantly locks in a Coquina Clutch!!! The crowd pops for this submission move!! OGDA takes him to the mat, choking Paralysis out. Scruff slides in. Paralysis starts to tap like crazy! He can feel his oxygen cut off. He freaks out! Scruff rushes and calls for the bell. It rings and the fans go crazy!! OGDA instantly releases the hold and pops to his feet~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Craze Champion….OGDA!!!!!
Smith: Dominating win by the Craze Champion! A tremendous bounce back after his tough loss to Aidan Collins
Hood: I thought he beat people with a flying forearm
Smith: He does…but he also has a lethal submission move he calls Cloud 9.
Hood: Damnit…knowing that just makes this guy tougher
Smith: Indeed. Tremendous win for OGDA as he gets set to defend his title in the very near future against Andrea Hernandez
I have just the thing to wear
I'm a superhero"
It's mayhem!
It's Madness!
Sally is sad cuz she didn't get a hug!~
I'm a superhero
Look at me go"
Hugs!
Lowfives!
Selfies!
All of this going on as OCW's Superhero makes his way to the ring....~
Everyone is happy!
Sally got a hug!
There is so much happiness as the OGDA rolls into the ring and climbs the nearest set of turnbuckles!~
~We go back stage to see Marcus Welsh storming through the halls. He is Piiiiissed! He comes to a stop at a door and fumes at the name plate on it; "Commissioner Zybala." He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. It fails. He grabs the doorknob, turns it and slams the door open. We see Zybala at his desk looking startled. ~
Zybala: And after all the times you've yelled at me about knocking.
~Welsh stomps into the office, right up to the desk.~
Welsh: Shut the fuck up! Just shut up! I have been trying to reach you all fucking week. I've texted, called, and emailed! I even tried using that stupid fucking can on a string and you never got back to me! The fuck was so important to ignore your superior?!?
~Zybala calmly looks Welsh as he rages.~
Zybala: It was the Thanksgiving holiday. I was enjoying time with my family. I told you last week that I would be persona non grata until tonight. What the hell is so important anyways???
Welsh: You giving your fucking little Outsider buddy title matches without my permission!! I knew you were stupid, but to give someone like THAT title matches when they haven't even had one match is beyond your usual stupid!
~Zybala is getting annoyed as he stands up from his chair and leans forward on his desk, staring the general manager in the eyes.~
Zybala: Look. You told me to take care of YOUR mess by making sure that Losem wouldn't sue us. I never told you to have him attack me, and I certainly didn't say to have security beat him down after you said it was okay to be in the ring. This was your mess, and I fixed it. You didn't bother asking me the whys or how's. You just blew a gasket and came yelling in here like a child having a temper tantrum.
Welsh: (dripping with sarcasm) Then tell me, oh wise one, how you fixed anything?
Zybala: I talked to the lawyer and he said that Losem wanted a contract with two guaranteed title matches. I thought it over and came up with a plan. I told the lawyer he had a deal, and like that, no more lawsuit. Losem's first title match is going to be next week against the BroCode in a two in one handicapped match for the OCW tag titles.
Welsh:...... But he'll get destroyed. That's not like you.
Zybala: The guy rubs me the wrong way.
Welsh: Whatever. What about the second match?
Zybala: He is wrestling at Bath March for the OCW Championship.
~Welsh, who was calming down, starts getting pissed off again.~
Welsh: You are NOT fucking with my main event title match! You keep your Outsider losers away from Meyhu!
Zybala: Dude, pay attention to my words. I said he would be fighting the "OCW champ" at "Bath March." We call the Massacre before the actual Death March that name and pit Losem against Big Bifford for that lump of duct tape Bifford calls a belt. We sanction that "title" for one night, and like magic, all problems are gone. Losem gets his title matches, Big Bifford gets to defend his "title" after fifteen years, and nobody gets sued.
~Welsh looks at Zybala and ponders.~
Marcus Welsh: I don't know what your angle is, Zybala. But if that will get this Losem guy to shove whatever goofy ass lawsuit he's bringing against us off the table then, fine. I will UN-VETO this decision.
~Welsh turns and exits Zybala's office. He tries to slam the door but it's pressurized so it just slowly shuts. Welsh, angry, curses under his breath. Zybala mutters, "Guy never listens to ANYTHING" before going back to his business. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Well it appears as though Scott Losem has two title matches set up. I don't know how the match against BroCode will go over.
Hood: Normally I'd be appalled but I think BroCode will be fine considering it's some Outsider piece of garbage. They'll take him out like a guy named Duke dumps out the trash
Smith: Alright, then.
~”Rocket Man” hits and the crowd goes wild!! The final LW champion in OCW history steps out from behind the curtain and rushes down the ramp. A “HOUSTON” chant is heard as Ed slides into the ring. He pops to his feet. A smiling, confident Ed Houston grabs a mic from the apron and proudly pats the OCW Lightweight Championship which he still has over his shoulder~
Houston: “How is the OCW universe doing tonight?”
~A loud cheer erupts from the crowd.~
Houston: “Good to hear! I debated coming out here tonight to make this announcement. I really went back and forth on it. Last week I had another huge win, so I thought maybe I’d stay away from the bright lights for one week. But I couldn’t resist the chance to hang out with all the fans here. So I decided to come on out and I’m glad I did. It looks like now my match at Death March has a little added excitement to it! Curt Canon reminds me of Sandra Bullock in the movie Gravity. She’s desperately trying to breathe, taking wild, crazy risks just to get one more breath. Curt’s the same way. He wants to stay relevant so badly, but this isn’t a movie and as a NASA man I can tell you that movie is wildly inaccurate anyway. At Death March, he’s going down in flames.”
~Houston takes a break for a minute to let the fans soak in what he’s said.~
Houston: “And tonight I’m going to announce my soldiers in this war. These men are going to prove once and for all that I’m not a Curt Canon clone, and that my entire career is out of this world when compared to his. Now these men aren’t here tonight but I’ve seen one in Marcus Welsh’s office already, and the other two have been sighted in Key West. Besides, I don’t want to give Curt the chance to get in any advanced scouting, there’s title shots on the line, after all!”
~Houston dramatically looks down at his Lightweight title as if to prove a point.~
Houston: “Now these guys are the same that pushed me to the limits. When I was first starting out, I couldn’t do much more than fly high, but these guys made me push myself and that reaction led to an rocket explosion that propelled my career into what you see today. I first reached out to a man in the first ever fed I signed up in, UCWA, to gauge his interest. Would he come and join me to prove that those glory days were as good as we remembered? Could he help put my wrestling doppelganger to bed? I’d lost so much to these guys that surely someone that I beat inside the ring couldn’t top them? The first man on my team is “The Hollywood Blockbuster” Noah Hanson. When I floated my idea past him, he took it and ran with it. He went to a big Texas ranch to see if UCWA and Boardwalk alum, Mac Bane, would let a ranch hand run the show for a few weeks and come check out OCW. He accepted. My second member is Mac Bane. The third and final member of my team is one that pushed me to my absolute limit. In my third ever match I passed out in a championship match against him but it put me on the map. It showed the wrestling world that a NASA flunky could fly with the big boys and most importantly, it gave me the confidence to keep toiling away. The third and final member of my team is the Russian bear, Tytus Rost, a true submission specialist.
With this team I’ve constructed everything I need to beat Team Canon. Instead of relying on simple mind games or playing some sort of physiological card, I’ve recruited a team that I can trust. I’ve recruited a team that I have real chemistry with. I’ve recruited a power house, an MMA badass, and the most adaptable wrestler in the game. In the coming weeks, the OCW universe will get to know Team Houston, but not enough to get a true feel for what we’re capable of until Death March. If I’ve learned one thing from NASA, you don’t go claiming you’ll put people in space until they’re actually in space. Curt, keep dreaming about that Savage Championship shot because with this team you have no shot in the universe to beat me.”
~Houston drops the mic in the center of the ring and exits it, seeming even more confident as he heads up the ramp.~
Smith: Oh my gosh! Hood, what an announcement!
Hood: Geezus...Ed swung for the fences with that team
Smith: Indeed! Noah Hansen is a current World Champion. Mac Bane is one of the most talented wrestlers on the planet. And while I haven't had the opportunity to personally witness Tytus Rost everything I've heard suggests he's equally talented.
Hood: Ya know, Ed is a good captain. I'll just say it. Sure I don't like Zybala. But the fucker made a great pick in choosing Ed. Most captains try to recruit people beneath their level, but not Ed. He went for the very best in an effort to compose the strongest team possible. All four of those names could win at Death March
Smith: Indeed. Curt had better come through with his team otherwise he's going to be in for a long night come December 17th.
~Welsh is staring DAGGERS into his flat screen television. He is SEETHING over Ed’s announcement. He slams his fist into his desk and grinds his teeth~
Greg: What? Is there a spider on your desk?
Marcus Welsh: NO, Greg…there isn’t a spider on my desk. It’s that team! That TEAM!
Greg: It sounded like a good team.
Marcus Welsh: That’s because it IS a good team. Son of a bitch! This is going to be harder than I thought. Fuckin hell.
~Welsh picks up his phone. Greg leans forward, puzzled~
Greg: Who are you calling?
~Welsh holds up a finger, signaling for Greg to be quiet~
Marcus Welsh: Yes, Knife Man. It’s your boss. Yes, that boss. Those results on Alice Knight. You know, the concussion tests. I don’t want anything overlooked. If there’s even the slightest hint of trauma I’m going to need you to advise against her involvement at Death March.
~It’s obvious by Welsh’s expression that The Knife Man is trying to debate the topic~
Marcus Welsh: I don’t care what we’ve done in the past, Knife Man! That was then, this is now. Alice Knight cannot compete if she’s got any signs of trauma. Do you understand? Good.
~Welsh ends the call. He leans back, still flush with anger~
Greg: What was that all about?
Marcus Welsh: Zybala’s teams have too much talent. I may not be able to prevent healthy people from joining. But those with a history of head trauma…those with marginal injuries…I can definitely persuade the OCW medic to hold them out of Death March.
~We can hear the fans booing within the arena. Greg seems concerned. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: That isn’t fair!
Hood: What are you talking about? He’s trying to protect Alice’s health and well being!
Smith: No he isn’t! He’s trying to keep her off of Mario’s team
Hood: I have to admit I’ve been worried about Alice’s health. Here’s hoping The Knife Man does the right thing and holds her out of Death March. Mario and Brianna can take on Team King Infinity with a two person disadvantage. I’m sure of it.
Smith: This makes me sick!
|
|
Tony Savage (1-0) vs. Mfer (1-0)
~The crowd is buzzing from a combination of beer and IN RING ACTION. Oh and let’s not forget segments and angles. Those have these people on the edge of their seats as well! It’s time for some more in ring action and the fans realize this because BELVEDERE stands in the ring with the presence of a champion thoroughbred. He clears his throat and the fans go KRAZY~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…
~The crowd goes silent. And, I quote “music. Sound. Spaceship. zoom. Pew. Pew.” Rings out. A spaceship lands on the OCWTron screen. Mfer stands out from behind the curtain dressed like an alien (that’s assuming he ISN’T an alien). A loud ‘MFER’ chant breaks out. Eventually the fans stop chanting it and just go with “MOTHER FUCKER” instead which proves they don’t really want to chant the guy’s name as much as they want to chant naughty words. Mfer walks strangely to the ring. He inspects the apron. He touches it with the tips of his fingers before slowly placing one leg up followed by the other. He rolls in under the bottom rope~
Belvedere: From a Small Planet in the Eleventh Realm…standing 1,950,720 Microns and walking around at an unknown weight…ladies and gentlemen I give you The Man From The Eleventh Realm!!!
Smith: Mfer competing for the second week in a row. Last week we saw him win by…well, I guess it was a finger/roll up combination
Hood: Get this guy out of here! Lame ass mother fucker
Belvedere: And his opponent…
~The lights go low, "Legend Has It" by Run the Jewels bumps over the speakers, and out comes America's Favorite Legal Mass Murderer. He strolls down to the ring, eating a Slim Jim and grabbing his dick, looking at the fans like they were fecal matter on his sneakers. He even stops and points out to a full retard all the typos on their sign before they get a face full of meat by-product. Then he gets in the ring, cussing at the ref to back off and not photobomb his pre fight ring time. Then he cracks his knuckles and gets ready....~
Belvedere: From Atlanta, Georgia…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 237lbs…Tony Savage!!!
~Belvedere exits. The bell sounds~
Smith: The return of Tony Savage!
Hood: Oh man I love this guy! I hope he sticks this time. He’s got main event potential
Smith: He certainly does exude the type of attitude that finds success around here. Tonight he faces, arguably the strangest opponent of his long and storied career.
Hood: Fucking embarrassing putting a guy like Savage out there with some mother fucker. But, it is what it is…CLASSIC OCW, BABY
~Mfer tilts its head inquisitively while staring at Savage. Savage, leaning in his corner, tilts his head at Mfer with a ‘what the fuck’s with this guy’ look. Mfer performs a strange walk, approaching the center of the ring. He keeps walking, inching oh-so awkwardly closer to Savage~
Smith: This is going to end bad for someone
Hood: Yea, Mfer won with a finger up the nose or some shit last week. I don’t think he’s getting away with that shit against Tony Savage
Smith: I’d have to agree
~Mfer crowds Savage’s space. Savage leans back, as any normal person would. He cocks an eyebrow looking slightly offended by this green alien type character. Mfer reaches out with his hand. He extends his index finger. He brings it closer to Savage’s face. Savage slaps it away~
Smith: This isn’t going to work, Mfer
Hood: Yea, that dumb mother fucker is about to get smoked
Smith: It would appear so…unless he truly is, ya know
Hood: A hardcore mother fucker?
Smith: Well I was thinking more along the lines of a being from the eleventh realm
Hood: Those eleventh realm beings are pussies. The tenth realm is where it’s at
~Mfer brings his hand back up. Again he extends his index finger. He brings it up to Savage’s face. He comes in closer and closer. Savage gives him more room this time…perhaps he’s curious. Perhaps he’s daring this weird mother fucker to try something. Mfer places his index finger on Tony’s nose. And, well, judging by the look in Tony’s eyes we can all assume that Mfer has fucked up~
Smith: Oh no…
Hood: And shit is about to go sideways
Smith: Mfer has evidently invaded Tony Savage’s personal space
Hood: You never touch a grown man on the nose. It’s just not right
~Savage swipes down with his left hand, chopping Mfer’s arm at the elbow. He reaches out and grabs Mfer by the head, using both hands. He dives forward with a headbutt. He delivers another headbutt…and another and another and another…Mfer is staggering toward the center of the ring. The fans are cheering the aggression shown by Tony Savage. Savage whips Mfer into the ropes. Mfer stumbles and staggers, possibly concussed. He comes off the ropes and Tony punches him right in the heart (One Hitter Quitter)!!!! Mfer’s legs go out. He collapses to the mat. Tony places his foot on top of Mfer’s chest. Scruff slides in and makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…TONY SAVAGE!!!!!
Smith: Well that wasn’t pretty
Hood: I mean, sure, if you’re some type of alien sympathizer. And I’m not talking about the border kind. I’m talking about the outer space, gonna probe your asshole kind
Smith: Thanks for that clarification
Hood: But…what if the guy in the alien suit is an illegal alien…
Smith: I have no answer to that
Hood: Would that alien cancel the other alien out making Mfer a solid citizen?
Smith: Let’s talk about Tony Savage. A dominating performance by one of the most talented wrestlers in this business
Hood: Oh fuck yea! So glad Savage is back!
Smith: This man has OCW Championship talent if he can just stay focused and work hard
Hood: Here’s hoping he does because I can’t get enough of Tony Savage
~We cut to the back where Who’Re is standing by with a look on her face that says “I have news!” Sugar Valentine is casually standing behind her, looking around, ensuring that she’s in a safe space~
Who’Re: Hey guys, Who’Re here with some big news! I’ve just been informed that Commissioner Mike Zybala has agreed to terms with a former OCW tag team. They’ve been in negotiations for a few weeks now and whatever it was that had held up the agreement…those details have all been ironed out
~The crowd pops. Who’Re smiles~
Who’Re: I wish I had a name to put behind this story but, sadly, I do not. But I do know they were a major force in the tag team division during their time within the company. I’ve also been told they are a fairly recent tag team duo…so that rules out, say, Mississippi Mud.
~Who’Re smiles proudly. Her OCW history appears to be on point~
Who’Re: I will continue to seek out information on the identity of this team. As soon as I know I promise I will let everyone in OCW know. This team should be making their on screen return by the end of 2018.
~Sugar walks up and whispers in Who’Re’s ear. Who’Re smiles and nods~
Who’Re: Well that’s it from out here…back to you guys at ringside!
Smith: Who could this team be, Hood?
Hood: I have a pretty good idea…or well an idea on who I HOPE they are
Smith: Same here…we’ve had many great teams since 2014. The Dravers, The Danger Boiz, Awe.Some and many others…it appears as though the tag team division is about to get a major shot in the arm.
Hood: Fuck yea man…OCW is like Hansel. SO HOT RIGHT NOW
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Jacob Hotstuff (1-0) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
~A single strum of a guitar plays.~
Hood: That’s gotta be!
The guitar strum plays once more into a record scratch…
Smith: He’s here…
~The lights dim, all except a single spotlight over the stage. One man steps out, the silhouette of an acoustic guitar strapped to his back and a championship in his hand being all that’s visible. The beginnings of Foreigner’s “Juke Box Hero” was all that you needed to confirm your suspicions.~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce one-half of the OCW Tag Team Champions, he prefers to be referred as the REAL Juke Box Hero and the reigning International Hollywood Champion...this is the official Michael Bay of Pro Wrestling...JAAACCOOOBBBB!! HOOOTTSSTTUUUUUFFFFF!!!
~The booes were as deafening as ever. Jacob’s mockery of the rockstar in Griffin Hawkins had perpetrated itself for months now, even as he continued stealing the denim rocker clothing, the guitar, the big hai -- err, the hair was safe, at least. Jacob strutted to the top of the aisle, pulling the guitar around in front of him to play a single note.~
“BOOOOOOO!!”
~Jacob smirked at the powerful note as he lifted the guitar up with one hand.~
Smith: Can you believe this guy? His whole existence has been coasting off the back of his meat shield of a partner and mocking another who isn’t even in this company!
Hood: And our ratings, gates, and merch sales have never been higher! Jacob is a gold mine for OCW.
Smith: But our respect as a company is plummeting with him -
Hood: So? This is OCW baby, when have we ever cared about what they thought? WE do this for OCW, by OCW...and we’re taking over Eve-Ry-Thing!
Smith: …
~Jacob arrogantly walks down the aisle still with the guitar in tow, the look on his face suggested a feeling of empowerment, like he was almost untouchable. It was a stark contrast from the man that claimed he missed the show two weeks ago due to “severe mental traumas” caused by a certain EWC assailant. Why, though? Was it the Death March? Was Jacob that confident in his bid to get that OCW World Championship opportunity?~
Smith: That doesn’t look like a man that was just informed of a mandatory increase in hs appearances...
Hood: Sssh, he’’s got a microphone, let’s hear what the “Welsh Original” has to say.
Jacob Hotstuff: How is everyone toni -- I’m just yanking your chains, I really don’t give a damn how any of you common plebs are feeling on any day!
“BOOOOOOO!”
Jacob Hotstuff: That’s right, say words. Fools. Now onto real important matters, even if you’ve been living under a rock you have to know that our “loving” finance department has issued me an ultimatum if ever I wanted to continue giving this OCW Tag Team Championship meaning. And that’s, to increase my appearances on TV by fifty percent. So the company has planned a little match here…
Smith: That’s right, it was announced last week that Jacob Hotstuff would be making his television in-ring debut tonight, versus John E. Depth.
Hood: Should have just called it a bye and gifted him the win, in my own humble opinion.
Smith: Since when is your opinion humb --
Hood: Sshhhh!
Jacob Hotstuff: But first, allow me to touch on something I recently learned. That a certain someone has been defending their bootleg International Championship over the past weeks, and how that someone plans to travel to the heart of Africa to defend it again in December. Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you...hey, come here.
~Jacob motions to the camera man to zoom in really really close, enough to catch only the celebrity’s face, and the close up of the International Hollywood title.~
Jacob Hotstuff: Listen here you little bad hair 80’s reject. I pinned you clean, on your home turf one, two, and three, and as a result I TOOK your title...and rechristened it as MINE. With a little Hollywood flare. And just because I am twice the fighting champion that you are, Hawkins...I’m going to give my opponent this evening the chance of a lifetime. The once in a lifetime opportunity...to walk away with the prestigious International Hollywood Championship!
Hood: Whoa! That’s huge, we’ve got an impromptu International Hollywood match tonight!
Smith: Against John E. Depth. Has he even won a match? What has he done to earn a title shot?
Hood: While I do not know the champion’s guidelines that determine who gets a title shot, and when, all I can assume is the decision is fair and just, because Jacob Hotstuff is the most fair and just of all of our champions.
Smith: When did he add you on the Hollywood payroll……..
Jacob Hotstuff: So come on down John. Stake your claim at destiny. Realize your dream, your glory...can you pry my International Hollywood Championship from my celebrity hands?!
~John E. Depth is pushed out of the entryway. He looks around nervously before raising an arm up to say “I got this”. The lack of reaction to him was mirroring to the confidence they had in John E. Depth’s abilities. But, then, this was Jacob Hotstuff after all, a man whom was well documented as having more of an interest in his Hollywood career than that of being a full time athlete.~
Smith: Seriously, John E. Depth has a title match here tonight. Really? Who booked this crap?
~Just as John reached the ring, Jacob took a step back.~
Jacob Hotstuff: Oh wait, silly me I almost forgot…
Hood: Oh no, what is it now Jacob?
Jacob Hotstuff: Our finance team said it was mandatory I appear for athletic contests twice a month. However, they never said I had to compete…
Smith: What on Earth is he talking about?!
~John E. Depth stares blankly at the striking Planet Hollywood logo that lay emblazoned on the center plate of the title over Jacob’s shoulder while Jacob motions to the entryway…~
Jacob Hotstuff: Allow me to introduce you to, in Hollywood terms, my stunt double. He’ll be the guy performing all my “hi-risk” activities. In basic wrestle speak for all you common plebs that fail to understand the intricacies of what we do on set, since there’s no way you’ll get me to risk my body and pay days for a chance of you seeing me on free television, any time OCW requires my services on television, this man will be my stand in.
Hood: I love it Jacob, you legend! A legitimate stunt double to protect your high dollar contract!
Jacob Hotstuff: And finance guys, I’ll be increasing my contractual demands by a hundred-fifty percent to accommodate the increase in “supplies used”. Much love, sincerely you guys…
~You could hear the sarcasm dripping off his words as he spoke.~
Jacob Hotstuff: Now without further adieu, I present, he is “The Greatest Wrestler Money Can Buy”, ADRIAN TURNER!
Smith: A stunt double?! Jacob is skirting the line of OCW competition and bullshittery here!
Hood: It’s genius! If Finance didn’t want this to happen, they should have been more clear in their letter of action to him. Jacob is merely playing within the lines tonight…
Smith: Looks more like he’s doing the lines than playing between them.
~Adrian Turner steps out onto the stage, his black trunks featuring three green dollar signs on the front, and on the backside he had printed “Hottest Hitman” across the full width. He had on black knee braces and black boots with green laces, and the smirk of a thousand corporate CEOs counting their money in a board meeting.~
Smith: This guy looks like he’s not playing around…
Hood: He’s “the greatest wrestler money can buy”...what did you think, that he was here to pass out balloons?
~Turner wastes no time as he slides into the ring, replacing Jacob who slides out. Jacob reaches under the ring and pulls out a director’s chair and a megafone which he sets up to get a front row seat to the action. Depth, looking far more unsure of himself now, turns to face the hired hitman. Although petrified of the ice cold demeanor of Adrian, he still doesn’t wet himself. Because who would ever script a match to end with one person wetting their pants am I right? That'd be idiotic, no company would ever do that...~
~Just as soon as the bell rang, Adrian busted out, ducking under Depth’s ill-fated grapple attempts, hooking Depth in a rear waist lock. Adrian clocks the man in he back of the head with a forearm smash for good measure, then hurls him back to the mat with a release belly-to-back suplex! Depth halfway rolls over with groggy, blurry vision as he’s only just now able to figure out what exactly happened. He sits up - only for Adrian to blast his face clear off with a spin low kick! Depth’s head snaps back to the mat hard while Adrian backs up, remaining behind Depth the whole time.~
Smith: What is the point of this?
Hood: To send a message that Jacob Hotstuff isn’t one to mess with.
Smith You mean his hitman isn’t one to mess with…
~Slowly, Depth begins to sit up, completely oblivious to Adrian...who takes hold of his left brace and lowers it, exposing his bare knee.~
Smith: You don’t think he’s…
~Before Depth can stand, Adrian rushes forward, NAILING Depth in the back of his head with a lightning quick running knee strike! If Depth was still conscious, he wasn’t now. Jacob on the outside brings the megaphone to his lips and calls out;~
Jacob Hotstuff: Curtain call, Adrian.
~Adrian picks up the deadweight of Depth and wraps his leg around the back of the man’s neck. Clearly not necessary, Adrian continues anyway and with a spin, he drives Depth to the mat head first, completing the “Encore” (Overdrive), which was Jacob’s own finishing maneuver. Adrian Turner stood over the limp form of John E. Depth n a visual that would make anyone uncomfortable while Jacob took the megaphone once more;~
Jacob Hotstuff: Aaannnddddd cut! That’s a wrap Adrian.
~As he’s told, Adrian stands down, leaving the ring while Jacob slides back in. Mockingly, he crawls and fights for every inch of ground, “barely” draping an arm over the quite so defenseless John E. Depth.~
Smith: I don’t believe this.
~The referee drops down to make the count, not that there was a soul in the world that could stop this travesty from happening.~
1!
2!
3!
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen your winner as a result of a pinfall...AND STIIIIIILLLLL the International Hollywood Champion...and REAL Juke Box Hero; JAAACCOOOBBBB!! HOOOTTSSTTUUUUUFFFFF!!!
~Jacob slowly climbs back to his feet, acting as if he had just been through a hellacious pay-per-view main event as the referee brings his title back to him, even strapping it around his waist. Jacob then takes a slow jog of a victory lap around the inside of the ring, celebrating his first successful title defense to-date.~
Hood: That may very well be the smartest man on the OCW roster…
Smith: Or the most scared. This isn’t ballet, you’re going to get hurt in a contact sport...who hires a hitman, a glorified stuntman even, to do a match for them? And then mocks and belittles all of us acting as if you’ve just won the Olympics?!
Hood: Jacob Hotstuff, that’s who. The future heart and soul of OCW.
Smith: ...Seriously, how much is he paying you to be his cheerleader though?
Hood: If I got paid for praising talent then I'd be a talent scout, Smith. Instead, I'm sitting next to you defending the true stars of this company against the Owl Queen and OCW's other weirdos
Smith: Gosh I hope she is cleared to compete at Death March
Hood: That makes one of us
~We cut backstage where Who’Re is seen speaking with Leo the High School Intern~
Leo the High School Intern: Yea so from what I’m hearing…
Sugar Valentine: YO
~Leo jumps. Sugar Valentine walks into view. He gets up in Leo’s face, separating Leo from Who’Re~
Sugar Valentine: Who the fuck you think you speakin to, boy?
Leo the High School Intern: I just had a rumor…or news…I was hoping to…
Sugar Valentine: Yea well you go find someone else to spread your shit, you got me?
~A very scared Leo nods and runs away. Who’Re seems disappointed~
Who’Re: Sugar! He was going to give me a scoop so I could…
~Sugar puts his arm around Who’Re and places his index finger over her lips~
Sugar Valentine: Quiet down, girl. Don’t sweat him. He ain’t makin you any money, is he? Sugar’s got you. Come on over here. I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet.
~Sugar escorts Who’Re over to a middle aged man who dresses like he has money. He has a big, goofy smile on his face~
Sugar Valentine: Girl, I’d like you to meet Mr. White. He’s a big fan of your work.
Mr. White: A HUUUUUGE FAN
~Mr. White’s cadence is doused with creep~
Who’Re: Uh, okay…thanks.
Sugar Valentine: So check it. Mr. White here is such a big fan he wants to take you out tonight.
Who’Re: But Sugar, the show isn’t over yet. Plus, I was hoping to…
Sugar Valentine: C’mon, girl. Listen to Sugar. He’s got your back, right? Besides, Mr. White here may have something to show you near the end of the evening.
Who’Re: Like a scoop?
~Sugar looks at Mr. White. Mr. White shrugs. Sugar looks back at Who’Re and smiles~
Sugar Valentine: You know it, girl. Now, got get your shit because you and Mr. White are gonna hop on outta here and enjoy the rest of the evening.
~A conflicted Who’Re reluctantly ushers off to do as Sugar asks. This leaves Sugar alone with Mr. White. Mr. White hands Sugar a roll of cash. Sugar stuffs it into his coat pocket~
Sugar Valentine: Ahite, man. You be good to her, you hear me? She better come back just as you found her. She come back any different and you’re going to answer to Sugar.
~Sugar pulls out a pair of diamond incrusted brass knuckles, looking them over. Mr. White nods with a very serious look in his eyes. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Oh please! Can we remove that man from the building!
Hood: Relax…Mr. White is just about to leave.
Smith: I mean Sugar Valentine. Is it just me or does anyone else see what’s going on back there?!
Hood: What? He’s introducing Who’Re to some OCW fans. What’s wrong with that? It’s no different than an autograph signing
Smith: It’s VERY different
Hood: I don’t know why you hate Sugar so much but, whatever. I think he’s a nice guy simply trying to enrich the lives of the female talent
Smith: Yea well that opinion makes me want to PUKE
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Melinda Rhodes & James Spade vs. The Lockwood Party
~It’s getting late in the night but these fans are still at it. They are chanting, chatting, ranting AND raving. Fucking lunatics. Belvedere clears his throat as it’s time for the action to continue! The crowd goes wild~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~"PUNCH IN THE FACE" BY FRENZAL RHOMB begins to play. The fans watch as The Lockwood Party makes their way to the ring. They hit the bottom of the ramp and rush toward the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope~
Belvedere: From The East Bay, California…Tim and Jack…The Lockwood Party!!
~Jack Lockwood marches around the ring riling up the crowd while Tim leans back in their corner, ready for their opponents~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~"Walk on Water" by Ozzy Osbourne plays over the house P/A as out steps The Wildkard. He stands out in front of that crowd, wearing a black sleeveless "Wildkard" shirt, simple wrap-around sunshades, blue jeans, blue and teal knee and kick pads, black wrestling boots, and a long gray rifleman's duster. The near 50 year old looks incredibly fit, his long brown hair only showing modest signs of graying, though the salt and pepper stubble on his chin gave it all away. He smiles at the crowd, genuinely surprised that anyone still remembers him.~
~Spade walks down to the ring and the fans reach out to him. He promptly high fives as many in passing as he can. His appreciation for the fans of the sport never died during his time away and it shows as he even stops to hug young children and sign a quick autograph or two.~
~In his mind, it's hard to leave the fans at ringside, but after making a trip around the ring. Spade finally slides inside and hops to his feet with a bit of a youthful bounce in his step. He quickly makes his way to the nearest turnpost, ducking down to grip the ropes, bobbing his head left to right before throwing his arms up in the air with three fingered salutes for the fans and a wicked smile on his face. The Wildkard then back flips with a picture perfect moonsault, time seemingly slowing to a crawl as he hung in the air for a few seconds, his coat whipping about in dramatic fashion, before he lands on his feet, cups his hands around his mouth and lets out his battle cry.....~
Spade: AAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!
*HUGE POP*
~....He then nods and smiles back at the crowd as he removes his coat and sunshades, passing them off to the ring attendant. He pats a rather old blue neoprene elbow pad on his right arm as he backs up into his corner~
Smith: We are getting our first look at James Spade inside an OCW ring as an official competitor
Hood: I got to say…I kinda like this guy.
Smith: Hm, well, that’s surprising considering you aren’t the biggest Melinda Rhodes fan in the world
Hood: I may not be the biggest Rhodes fan, Smith. But I might be the smallest.
Smith: Whatever that means
#DARLIN' YOU GIVE LOVE....
#A BAD NAME!!!!
#FFFUCK YYYYEEEEAAAAAAOOOOOHHHH!!!!
~Atreyu's, cover of "You Give Love a Bad Name" assaults the P/A system. Through the curtains steps a fit, pale skinned, raven haired and heavily tattooed woman, her fist raised up in the air. Her dark brown eyes wander over the crowd as she stands upon the stage, taking it all in for a moment. On her face we find dark crimson painted on her full lips and red highlighted black eye shadow over her eyes. Her modest chest is contained by a a fringed red and blue leather vest and black leather bra, while her ass is covered by black and silver tights. She sports standard black pads on her elbows and knees, with knee high laced wrestling boots to match. On her wrists are red, white, and blue bands. Upon her hips rests a thick black leather belt with a large and square silver buckle that reads in an ornate font, "REBEL." ~
~She makes her way to the ring with a confident stride. It doesn't take her long to reach ringside. She climbs the steps, wipes her feet on the apron, and slips through the ropes. Rebel Rhodes then backs into a corner of her choosing and waits.....~
Belvedere: The team of “The Rebel” Melinda Rhodes and “The Wildkard” James Spade!!!
~The crowd goes wild! Rhodes raises her arm with a three finger salute to the fans. Spade looks on and smiles, enjoying seeing his wife in her element. Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: And here we go!! Big tag team match! Rhodes has been chasing BroCode since Serial Thrillers. The only problem is she’s been doing so without a partner
Hood: Looks like she might have a partner…a LIFE PARTNER
Smith: Indeed. It feels like we might get a Spade/Rhodes versus BroCode match in the future. However, for now, Death March is taking precedent over everything else
Hood: Death March all up in here KILLING the momentum from Serial Thrillers
Smith: That seems a bit harsh.
~Spade and Rhodes have a quick conversation. They are on the same page. Rhodes steps onto the apron meaning Spade will begin the match. Tim and Jack go back and forth while eying the married couple. Tim steps through the ropes giving Jack the green light to begin. Jack turns around and circles Space, who is prepared for a lock up. The two lock up! The crowd cheers. Jack quickly whips Spade toward his brother. Spade hits the ropes, knocking Tim off the apron. Tim vanishes, hitting the floor. Spade has a puzzled look~
Smith: What was that…
Hood: Fucker just threw Spade at his own brother
Smith: These Lockwoods are crazy
~Spade shrugs it off and goes after Jack. Jack ducks and snares Spade in a waist lock. He swiftly transitions into a side headlock. A frustrated Spade stomps at the mat with his foot while trying to find an escape. Rhodes leans in, giving words of encouragement to the Wildkard. She suddenly vanishes! Jack laughs while cranking Spade’s head. We transition over to find Tim standing over Melinda. She’s holding her face…it caught the apron on the way down. Tim puts the boots to Rhodes on the outside. The fans boo~
Smith: He yanked her off the apron!
Hood: Never underestimate the Lockwoods! They planned that spot out to make people think Tim was hurt…he snuck around and pulled Melinda off the apron. Smart!
Smith: Ugh…can’t they just wrestle a normal match?
Hood: This is Monday Night Massacre…not Monday Night WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Spade tries to whip Jack into the ropes, forcing a release, but Jack maintains his grip. Tim reaches into his pants, on the outside, while standing over the Rhodes. It is very lewd looking. Fans at ringside are like “Dude, c’mon” He pulls out some handcuffs! Rhodes looks up. She snarls and appears ready to punch him in the dick. Tim boots her in the face! She rolls over. She’s slowly moving. Tim locks one side of the cuffs around her wrist and drags her to the barricade. He slaps the other side of the cuffs around a skinny metal pole. She’s secured. He stands over her, looking down. Rhodes starts to come to and realizes what’s taken place. She shakes her arm. She yanks on it. She starts to panic, pulling on it hard and fast. It won’t come free. Tim laughs at her before arrogantly strutting around the ring back to his team’s corner. The fans boo loudly~
Smith: Oh come on! How can we stand for this? He’s cuffed her to the barricade!
Hood: Fight smarter, not harder
Smith: Or how about fighting fair…what’s so wrong with that seemingly novel concept?
Hood: You know who fought fair? Scoot Time…that’s who!
~Spade sees Rhodes chained. He gets angry. He lifts Jack up and drops him with a side suplex!!! Jack lands on his head!! The crowd goes wild. Tim, on the apron, steps through the ropes. Scruff tries to stop him but Tim pushes the ref out of the way. Spade returns to his feet. Tim rushes up behind the unsuspecting Spade (because Spade, as any normal person, is under the assumption Jack is the only competitor in the ring) and spins him around. Spade turns and is DECKED with a right hand!! Spade drops to the mat, holding his mouth. Tim lays some heavy footed boots into Spade’s body. Jack gets back to his feet and joins the Party. The crowd continues to boo. Scruff tries to regain control of the situation~
Smith: Restore some order! What the heck, Scruff!
Hood: I think he’s still drunk off that basement liquor from Thanksgiving weekend
Smith: Basement liquor…that sounds awful
Hood: Meh, only on the way down
~Scruff drives his shoulder into Tim’s midsection and forces the man into his team’s corner. Tim isn’t resisting. He finds the situation entertaining. He complies, stepping through the ropes and rubbing Scruff’s hair. Scruff shakes his head like “Damn crazy boy” and turns back around. Jack drops and elbow across Spade’s throat. He quickly transitions to his knees and wraps his hands around Spade’s throat. James coughs and tries to fight Jack off. Scruff administers a five count. Jack doesn’t break. Scruff grabs Jack, trying to force him off. Jack finally lets go. James rolls over, coughing and holding his throat. Scruff finally gives Jack and Tim a stern warning~
Smith: These two should have been disqualified right at the start of this match!
Hood: Hey it’s all at Scruff’s discretion and he’s decided that a stern warning will do
Smith: This isn’t what we represent. This isn’t how the OCW tag division was built
Hood: Oh please…now you sound like one of those wrestling idealists. WEAK ASS IDEOLOGY
~Jack gets to his feet and kicks at the wounded Spade. James rolls onto all fours. Jack grabs a handful of Spade’s hair. Spade responds with an elbow into Jack’s gut!! The crowd pops!! Jack staggers back. Spade pops to his feet…he grabs Jack and drives him into the mat with a DDT!!! The crowd goes wild! Rhodes, on the outside, is frenzied. She’s doing everything she can to get free. She’s trying to pull her hand through the cuff…we can see dark red marks of irritation. The skin is close to breaking~
Smith: We need to get Melinda free! James is fighting valiantly in there but he’s no match for two men
Hood: Especially when those men are Lockwoods
Smith: And what does that mean?
Hood: These guys have done more heroin in one sitting than everyone in this arena combined. If they can handle that…I’m sure they can handle the Wildkard…with a K!
Smith: I hate drugs
~Spade rolls over and crawls toward his corner. He stops. It hits him. She’s not there. He looks out and sees Melinda fighting like crazy to get free. He gets to his feet. He fumbles forward due to a knee into the back!!! He hits the ropes, front first…he stumbles backward. Jack lifts him up in the Electric Chair. Jack falls forward…Spade comes down neck first across the top rope!!! The crowd groans…the move looked horrific. James rolls around the ring, kicking and holding his throat. Jack crawls toward his corner. Tim’s arm is outstretched. Jack makes the tag~
Smith: Innovative move…I wish I could enjoy it. But this heinous activity has ruined the match
Hood: Man you’re such a fucking pussy. A bleeding pussy. A wounded pussy.
Smith: Thanks for the elaboration
Hood: That’s what I’m here for. To describe things
~Tim enters into the ring with determination. Spade has his right arm draped over the middle rope. His left hand covers his throat. He’s on one knee. Tim sprints forward and delivers a flying knee into Spade’s head!! James flips through the ropes, over the apron and onto the floor in front of Rhodes. She pauses, looking down at him. She appears concerned. Tim hops through the ropes and looks at Rhodes. She goes from concerned to angry. She continues trying to get away. Tim spits in her face!! The crowd boos heavily. Rhodes freaks out! She goes back to trying to yank her hand through the cuff. We can start to see blood forming from under her palm. The metal is digging into her skin. Tim goes back after Spade, stomping on the Wildkard. He pulls Spade to his feet and tosses him back into the ring. Tim steps onto the apron and through the ropes. Spade gets to all fours but Tim kicks him in the ribs, flipping Spade onto his back~
Smith: Melinda is going to injure her hand if she goes any further. Perhaps they should just let this one go
Hood: I agree. QUIT
Smith: I’m not for quitting but with Death March coming up…is it really worth it? Melinda could mangle her hand…James could suffer some serious injuries
Hood: Hmm…you’re right. On second thought…STICK IT OUT
~Tim reaches down to grab Spade by the hair. Spade surprises Tim with a small package!!! The crowd pops to their feet! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: James Spade! Man…he’s giving it everything he’s got!
Hood: Small Packages should be outlawed!
Smith: Why?
Hood: Because…they are weak ass! It’s like some low seed beating a number one seed in the NCAA Tournament. WEAK ASS
~Jack leaps up onto the top rope. He springboards off. Spade gets to his feet and is met with a dropkick!!! Spade falls to the mat. The crowd BOOOS heavily. Scruff rushes after Jack. He yells at the Lockwood brother to get out. Jack does, smirking. Tim returns to his feet. He goes back to stomping Spade into the mat. He makes a quick cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Spade with the kick out. Nobody would blame this man if he remained down
Hood: Oh I would. And so would his parents
Smith: What?!
Hood: Nobody wants to think they raised a loser, Smith
~Tim grabs Spade by the hair. He peppers Spade with some stiff right hands before getting back to his feet. He taunts the crowd. The fans continue to boo. Spade tries to sit up, but is having a tough time. Rhodes has streaks of blood trailing down her arm. She stops with the cuff. It’s not working and is doing more harm than good. She kicks at the barricade, trying to find a weak spot. Tim holds up his right fist and points at Spade. James finally sits up and gets to his feet. Tim leans against the ropes and sprints off. He reaches back, looking for the punch to end all punches. James catches Tim! He spins him around and cracks him across the knee with a Tilt-o-whirl Backbreaker!! The crowd goes wild!! Melinda turns to see what’s taken place. She sees Tim down. She becomes frantic once more, trying to get free. James slowly starts to crawl toward his empty corner~
Smith: What a move! Spade is really showing what he’s worth out there
Hood: What an idiot! He’s crawling to a corner with no partner
Smith: It’s instinct, Hood. The man has taken a serious beating. No doubt his faculties are scrambled
Hood: Sounds like the guy has eggs for brains
~Spade reaches the corner and extends his arm. Nobody is there. He falls to the mat and rolls onto his back. He has a look of desperation on his face. Tim, holding his back crawls over toward Jack. He makes the tag!! The crowd boos. Jack grabs Spade by the feet, dragging him toward the center of the ring~
Smith: You get the feeling this is just about over
Hood: No shit…it’s been over the moment it began
~The crowd suddenly pops!! They go wild! HELLRAVEN rushes down to the ring!! She’s got bolt cutters!! She reaches Rhodes. Rhodes is overjoyed with relief and emotion. Raven uses the bolt cutters to snap the cuff chain in half! The crowd is going nuts! A loud ‘RAVEN’ chant fills the Arena!! Jack isn’t paying any attention. He’s got Spade by the hair, lifting the man to his feet. Hellraven rushes to the back with the bolt cutters~
Smith: Yes! Hellraven! Yes!
Hood: SON OF A WHORE
Smith: Team Rhodes has one another’s back!
Hood: I hate teamwork
~Jack lifts Spade into the air. He has him in position for an Alabama Slam!! He slings Spade down…Spade, though, grabs Jack by the head! He turns the Alabama Slam into a DDT!!! Jack’s head drives right into the mat! He’s down! Spade is down! The crowd is on their feet! Rhodes extends her blood covered arm, with the cuff, out toward her husband for the tag. Tim kicks at the ring post yelling “FUCK!” He urges his brother Jack to make the tag~
Smith: Here we go! The momentum has shifted!
Hood: If this were a movie I would say the plotline just fell off a cliff
Smith: Yea well that’s because your cinematic taste is deplorable
Hood: You’re just mad because I said the Lion King sucks
Smith: HOW DARE YOU
~Spade crawls toward the corner. He sees Melinda. He starts to crawl faster. Jack begins to move. Tim says “fuck this” knowing he won’t get there fast enough. He steps through the ropes and goes after Spade. Spade lunges forward and tags in Melinda!!! The crowd loses their shit! Tim hesitates. Rhodes steps through the ropes. Tim throws a punch! Melinda ducks and drops Tim with SHOT IN THE DARK!!! Tim rolls out of the ring. Jack reaches the corner. There is no Tim. He’s confused. He gets to his feet…turns around and is dropped with SHOT IN THE DARK!!! Jack is out! Melinda goes for the pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners… “THE REBEL” MELINDA RHODES AND “THE WILDKARD” JAMES SPADE!!!!!
Smith: She did it! She finally got in there and she made a difference!
Hood: Man this is some straight bullshit
Smith: The Lockwoods drop another close one…they just can’t seem to take Melinda down
Hood: Bitch is outside this entire match…she gets in that ring and just lays waste? I’m calling WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: She was fresh, Hood. Doesn’t that play any role…at least in your mind?
Hood: NO
Smith: You’re just biased. A great win for the married couple. A tough loss for the Lockwoods. When will the Lockwoods finally break through
Hood: It should have been tonight. But, yet again…WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: I can see you’re going to offer little to no words of wisdom so let’s cut to the back
~’The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu sits in his dressing room with his agent, Ezra Rosenberg. Meyhu is red in the face, clearly frustrated.~
Matt Meyhu: Are you kidding me?!
Ezra Rosenberg: Don’t worry, Matty! I’m sure it’s no-
Matt Meyhu: I know exactly who is behind this.
~Matt points at the monitor, which is replaying Lurrr’s appearance from the beginning of the show. Ezra shrugs.~
Ezra Rosenberg: Lurrr? Dean?
~Matt fires a glare toward his friend and agent. Ezra cringes, knowing he’s about to be told how wrong he is.~
Matt Meyhu: Nice try! Are you stupid or something? You know, I give and I give. And I give and give some more. There wouldn’t be an OCW if it weren’t for me at this point! I am the company! Not this old fart. Not the one I’ve got at Death March. Me! And yet, this is how I’m treated. Thrown into a clearly rigged situation.
Ezra Rosenberg: That seems like a stretch…
Matt Meyhu: He clearly has it out for the newer, greater OCW!
Ezra Rosenberg: I don’t think you should worry too much, bro! I mean, it sounds like he doesn’t even like Syren. Maybe he’ll help you out?
Matt Meyhu: Help me? I don’t need any help!
Voice from the Hall: That’s not what I’ve heard!
~Meyhu shoots to his feet and stomps over to the door before promptly slamming it shut.~
Matt Meyhu: It was your job to shut that door!
Ezra Rosenberg: Alright, alright. Let’s settle down, baby. I know you’re upset with the situation but you’re projecting it on me. It certainly isn’t my fault!
~Ezra chuckles and smiles at his enraged client.~
Matt Meyhu: ...Isn’t it? I sent you here last week to make this situation better for me! I was supposed to steamroll the competition, now I’m in this no win situation! The hell did you do?! Can’t shut a door. Can’t sign a deal. What exactly do you do here?
Ezra Rosenberg: Come on… I… Hype you…
~Worry creeps onto Ezra’s face.~
Matt Meyhu: I do a pretty good job of that myself.
Ezra Rosenberg: Well, I… Get you lunch…
Matt Meyhu: You’re right. You do that well.
~Ezra smiles wide again. Matt walks over to the door and opens it gently.~
Matt Meyhu: And that’s the work of an assistant. Hey everyone! Come meet my new assistant! Bring your coffee orders!
~We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Is the champ getting a little...frazzled?
Hood: I don't fucking know about frazzled but he's clearly seeing the issue with his current predicament. He's surrounded by two hall of famers for what's being billed as the biggest match in OCW history. These are two relics from a different OCW...a DEAN led OCW.
Smith: Yea but Lurrr, as we stated, was never a big fan of Syren.
Hood: So? Who do you think Michael Jordan prefers...Larry Bird or Kobe Bryant?
Smith: Good point
Hood: Meyhu is in trouble, Smith. He's got Syren and Lurrr staring him in the face with King Infinity at his heels. The champion is trapped.
Smith: This is without a doubt the murkiest period of Meyhu's OCW career. Can the Marvel prevail? I guess we'll have to wait to find out!
~“Who Taught You How to Hate” by Disturbed resonates around the arena as the crowd jumps to their feet. The cheers fill the OCW Arena louder by the second as they await for The Incredible One to show his face. About thirty seconds go by and nothing. You pan back to the announcer table as Smith and Hood just look at one another. ~
Hood: This is just like TIO to draw his entrance out. Such an egotistical bum.
Smith: What are you talking about TIO has turned over a new leaf and is a great role model for kids.
Hood: Yeah okay keep telling yourself that nonsense.
~ “Who Taught You How to Hate” by Disturbed begins to play again and the fans once again rise to their feet awaiting TIO. The crowd begins to stir as the curtain opens up and TIO is laying on the top of the entrance ramp. ~
Smith: What the heck is going on here?
Hood: This is just amazing. Whoever did that to TIO deserves to be put on a pedestal.
~ The fans are in an uproar as they want to know who did this to their hero TIO. Then suddenly out steps Curt Canon and Mike Harrison. Harrison is carrying a red wheelbarrow with him. Canon has a smile on his face as he stomps down on TIO to the jeers from the crowd. As you suddenly hear that same voice as last week Massacre. ~
????: Did you miss me?
~ As the black curtain opens on stage out steps a man in a black OCW hoodie covering his face. The fans are absolutely in shock as you can tell by the silence that has fallen over the crowd. As he removes the hood you hear a gasp from the crowd …. ~
Hood: HOLY SH-
Smith: Caleb James O’Donnell has returned to OCW!
~ O’Donnell looks down at TIO as he just shakes his head. Harrison let’s go of the wheelbarrow as he picks up TIO. Canon and Harrison toss TIO body into the wheelbarrow as they begin to go down the ramp. The crowd noise is deafening with boos. CJ walks down the ramp with a microphone in his hands.~
O’Donnell: Is that the type of welcome I get. Pathetic. Wow you fans still haven’t changed much. You put your faith and trust in the wrong person every single time. Let me guess you must of expected TIO to come out here dressed as Santa Clause.
~ Harrison, Canon and O’Donnell have reached the ring. CJ grabs TIO by his hair and goes to pull him out but gets a stiff punch for his trouble. ~
Smith: It looks like TIO still has some fight left in him.
~ As CJ holds his jaw Harrison and Canon attack like wolves. Canon hits TIO with a knee to the gut and then Harrison hits a super kick which sends TIO into the ring steps. CJ looks at pissed as he wasn’t expecting TIO to sucker punch him. O’Donnell gets this crazed look in his eyes as he goes charging at TIO and drives his right knee into the face of TIO whose heads gets driven into the steps. TIO holds his head as CJ crawls over to TIO. ~
O’Donnell: Really Ian? You call yourself a man. You are a shell of a man. You allowed your daughter to go into the arms of Rowe. I tried to warn you that daughter of yours. She is a gold digger and used you. The old TIO I knew would have seen it coming a mile away but you tucked your balls away or maybe you buried them when your wife died.
~ CJ pushes himself off from the floor as the crowd boos him. Someone throws a red solo cup and hits CJ square in the face. CJ just laughs as Canon picks up TIO by his hair and tosses him in the ring. Harrison goes underneath the ring apron and pulls out a steel chair. Harrison slides in the ring as TIO is laying face down on the mat and drives the chair into his back. Canon slides in and asks Harrison for the chair. Mike hands Curt the chair as CJ is walking up the stairs. O’Donnell pauses on the apron as Canon also drives the chair into TIO’s back. O’Donnell steps through the middle and top rope. CJ walks over to the turnbuckle and sits on top of it as Harrison gives TIO a stomp in the back of his head. ~
O’Donnell: So I guess I am hear to announce I am the third member of Team Canon. Curt at least you had some sense to reach out to me unlike Zybala or Welsh. Really Zybala what happened to the man I knew back in the day who rather be in the ring than wearing a business suit. Guess you lost your drive to compete.
~The fans continue to boo. A light 'Zybala' chant tries to start. Canon snares a mic from an OCW employee. He pounds the mic with his hand which creates a loud, annoying noise. This kills the Zybala chant. Canon smiles and looks down at the battered TIO~
Canon: “ You see I never really wanted TIO on my team. No not this TIO, not this washed up version, this shell of a man. If he was the TIO of old we would have gladly welcomed him with open arms, but he started down a path that was filled with heartache and despair, and he just keep paying for it. I reached out to my good friend CJ here and he said that there would only be one way to get him back. He wanted TIO because they had unfinished business. So being the genius that I am, I concocted a surefire plan to give everyone what they wanted….well everyone but TIO ”
~ CJ can’t help but laugh at what Curt just said. ~
O’Donnell: You see life has a funny way of working out. Who would of thought after Canon and I would have become friends after all the stuff we said about each other. It was Curt who checked on me when I wasn’t offered a spot in OCW when they reopened. Not TIO. It was Curt who asked me to help him fight himself not TIO. TIO you claimed to be my friend but honestly you were nothing. You were a cancer to my career. You were the one who told the OCW Board not to bring me back. I even heard you took a pay cut just to make sure it would happened. That is why you became a puppet here. That is why you can’t stand up on your own two feet and fight for anything. TIO I want you to remember this night. November 26th 2018, is the night that TIO's career will end.
Canon: “Our Death March starts here. Let this decimation of TIO be a warning, not just to Team Houston but to every team involved. You are all on borrowed time and I guarantee that Team Canon will walk out of Death March victorious. This is where The Blueprint of OCW starts to once again change, and it is going to be a change that nobody will be able to handle….”
~ Curt looks down at the lifeless body of TIO, then looks at his teammates.~
Canon: “Pick his weak ass up, break his Goddamn arm!”
O’Donnell: Absolutely it’s not like he is going to use it anymore.
~ Harrison picks up TIO as CJ jumps down from the top turnbuckle. Harrison tosses TIO towards CJ who grabs TIO and throws him shoulder first into the ringpost. TIO is wincing in pain as Canon hands CJ the steel chair. Curt slides out underneath the bottom rope as CJ just looks at the steel chair. Harrison exits the ring as Canon is holding the left arm against the ring post. O’Donnell steps through the middle rope and jumps off the ring apron. He slowly walks towards TIO. ~
O’Donnell: TIO you have no one to blame for this but … YOURSELF!
~ No sooner than CJ says those words does he swing the chair and it connects with the left arm of TIO. CJ has this crazed look in his eyes and this time he swings the chair with even more force as TIO lets out a scream. A smile comes to the face of The Distinguished as Canon says “One More Time”. O’Donnell let’s out a scream himself this time and this chair shot just echoes throughout the arena even with the fans booing loudly. OCW Officials and Security come running down to the ring as Canon let’s go of TIO’s left arm. Blood is coming from the arm as TIO lays face down on top of the middle turnbuckle. His left arm just dangling there as Curt, Mike and CJ look pleased with what they just accomplished. ~
O’Donnell: Enjoy retirement TIO.
~ As a medical team slides in the ring to check on TIO. OCW Security and Officials are making sure O’Donnell, Canon and Harrison are leaving ringside. As they make their way up the ramp to a chorus of boos. Canon, Harrison and O’Donnell turned around right before the curtain as they embrace the boos from the fans in attendance. ~
Smith: This is just sickening. I am ashamed to admit I was excited to see CJ return
Hood: That's like being ashamed to admit you watched The Godfather
Smith: I'm ashamed because I had forgotten the depths this man will dip to get his message across. TIO was more than likely willing to team with a man he thought was his friend...only to have that friend DECIMATE him on LIVE television
Hood: At least it was on live television. I'd imagine decimation via local cable is very depressing
Smith: Get serious! Curt's team has just been bolstered. TIO is on the shelf for who knows how long...maybe for good. I mean the man was already on the verge of retiring. And, on top of all that...CJ O'Donnell is back and appears to be a front runner to win Death March
Hood: Now that you mention it...that might be segment of the year!
Smith: Ugh...I'm disgusted. Let's cut to the back
~We cut back to the office of Marcus Welsh. Knux is guarding the door. Greg is in his usual position. Welsh is grinning ear to ear over the previous segment. The Knife Man is scratching the top of his head with the blade of his GIANT knife. A glimmer of light shining off the blade catches Welsh’s eye. He sees the Knife Man and resumes looking over some medical documents~
Marcus Welsh: This looks concerning…VERY concerning
The Knife Man: But sir...these are the very same x-rays you saw before clearing the lovely Miss Knight before her Birdcage Match against…
Marcus Welsh: That was then, this is now, Knife Man! 2017 was a very different time. 2018 is all about the concussion.
The Knife Man: And those…those you’re looking at are the very same x-rays you saw before clearing her back into action after Serial Thrillers
Marcus Welsh: That was SO pre-Thanksgiving, Knife Man. Get with the times. Stop living in the past, man! We’re almost in December…December of 2018. This is a new era…a new age. The age where OCW places a strict rule about concussions. I simply cannot have Alice Knight step into that ring until she clears the brand, new strict concussion protocol.
The Knife Man: And what is that protocol, sir? What are the standards?
Marcus Welsh: Any chart that looks slightly better than these.
~We hear the OCW crowd boo~
The Knife Man: Well…you’re the boss.
Marcus Welsh: You got that right, Knife Man. Now draw up the papers and let Miss Knight know that she will be unable to compete at Death March.
The Knife Man: Yessir
~The Knife Man gathers the medical documents and exits. Welsh leans back, smiling for the first time this evening~
Marcus Welsh: Fuck Team Maurako and fuck Mike Zybala. Let’s see how they like that! Now, if Maurako gets tossed around by Rage that would be the icing on top of this wonderful evening.
Greg: Two buffed men going at it? Turn up the volume!
Marcus Welsh: You got it, Greggers!
~Welsh cranks up the volume on his office TV as we cut back to ringside, ready for the main event~
|
|
Grudge Match
“Marvelous” Mario Maurako (5-0) vs. Bruce Rage © (3-1)
~The fans are at a fevered pitch! They can’t wait for tonight’s main event. The phrase “HOSS FIGHT” fills the OCW arena via chants from these fans. Sure, the smaller, more athletic wrestlers are cool and technically more sound. However, nothing beats a good, old fashioned hoss fight DAMNIT. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the Evening!!! This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~"For the Glory" plays through the house speakers with a loud and heavy bass thud. Across the stage in a deafening staccato of explosions, several columns of pyro sparks burst along the stage. As the explosions die down, the curtains part to allow the entry of a bronzed god of a man with spiked blond hair and a chiseled jaw that could split glass with but a mere touch. His body ripples with power, every muscle twitching and flexing as he stands and stares at the crowd with intensity. He curls his biceps as he dips forward, then whips his arms back as all the pyro columns explode out from either side of himself like waves of expelled energy. The black trunks upon his pelvis blazed with his name, BRUCE RAGE, Alpha symbols emblazoned upon his knee pads and the corners of his boots, all in a bold and broken golden metallic print~
~Bruce makes his way with a cocky swagger to ringside, seemingly oblivious to the people around him. Arrogance defines him by expression alone with a cocky smirk and creased brows as his feet meet those ring steps one after the other. He wastes little time entering the ring. He steps to the center of the ring, the lights dimming with a single golden spotlight shining down upon him. There he starts performs common bodybuilder poses in order to better show his physique. Front lateral spread, a slow curl into a classic front double bicep, then a twist into a side chest and then finally a turn into a back double bicep pose that ends with him spinning back around to face the camera with his arms whipping out at both sides. All four columns in the ring explode with pyro sparks, followed by more sparks raining down from the ceiling above and down onto the ring.~
~With a grin, he stands and nods at the crowd as he awaits his opponent.~
Belvedere: From Los Angeles, California…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 300lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions…he is…Bruce Rage!!!
Smith: Rage looking bigger and stronger than ever. This is going to be a huge test for Mario.
Hood: Yep…but Mario has faced them all in OCW. He’s probably faced more OCW Hall of Famers than any wrestler in company history
Smith: That might actually be true
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“Kickstart My Heart” by Mötley Crüe blares throughout the OCW arena! The crowd goes wild as the Marvelous One steps out from behind the curtain looking to be in tip top shape!! He pauses for a moment, taking in the tremendous ovation. Once satisfied, he heads down the ramp toward the ring~
Smith: There he is! The two time OCW Hall of Famer!
Hood: The man who will do a solid for OCW on December 17th by putting the new FACE of OCW over. That’s what Mario does, you know
Smith: That is rude! I truly hope that Death March is the night Mario’s been waiting for his whole career. I hope Mario wins Death March and goes on to finally capture the OCW Championship
Belvedere: From Minneapolis, Minnesota…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is a two time OCW Hall of Famers…he is “Marvelous” Mario Maurako!!!!
~The crowd goes wild!! A “MARIO” chant fills the arena. We can barely hear the sounding of the bell. Belvedere exits~
Smith: And it’s main event time! Maurako is going to be tested here, Hood. If he passes that test then you have to say he’s in prime shape for Death March
Hood: And, if he doesn’t?
Smith: Well I think that will tell us that Bruce Rage is a legitimate threat come Death March and a future major player here in singles action
Hood: These are the types of matches that will elevate a fresh face. Awe.Some faced something similar in 2015 and they were able to defeat Maurako and Lurrr to establish themselves as OCW stars
Smith: Indeed
~Rage yells out. He charges toward Maurako. Mario is taking in the audience’s adulation. A rookie mistake by the OCW veteran and hall of famer. Rage pounces on him, drilling him with overreaching right hands which send Maurako into his corner. Rage throws some punches into Mario’s gut. Mario covers his gut. Rage throws some punches into Mario’s head. Mario covers his head. Rage throws a heavy knee into Mario’s abdomen, causing Maurako to double over once again. The OCW arena is consumed with boos~
Smith: Bruce Rage is all over Mario!
Hood: The tag team champion is taking full advantage of Mario’s old bones and weakening muscles
Smith: That seems overly harsh
Hood: The truth hurts like going in dry
Smith: Yikes
~Rage hooks Mario around the waist. He lifts Mario up for a powerbomb. He’s facing the corner. He’s going for a buckle bomb. Rage’s muscles are sweaty and tense. It’s quite the scene with Maurako being marvelously manhandled~
Smith: Wow! Look at the power of Bruce Rage!
Hood: Mario’s supposed to be the power guy
Smith: I know! This young Bruce Rage is making a statement
Hood: Dude, this match could be over in a matter of seconds!
Smith: If it is you’ve got to consider Bruce Rage as a top level player in OCW
~Mario realizes the trouble he’s in. He reaches over the head of Rage. He’s trying for a sunset flip but Rage’s grip is too strong. He grabs and claws at Rage’s ridiculously muscular back. He finds the back straps of the OCW Title belt which remains around Rage’s waist. He gets a grip on that and uses it for leverage to pull himself over Rage’s head, down his back in order to execute a sunset flip~
1!
Kick Out!
Smith: How apropos that Mario used the titles he helped make famous to escape certain defeat
Hood: Finally…those veteran tendencies are kicking in
Smith: Indeed
~Rage rolls over his head, to one knee. He pops to his feet before Mario. Mario gets to his feet and is rushed by Rage. Rage bullies Mario against the ropes. He throws some wild knees into the midsection of Mario. He leans back, looking to clothesline Mario over the top rope, but Mario ducks and lifts Rage over the top rope. Rage flips over, this the apron and falls to the floor on the outside. Mario drops to a knee inside the ring and gasps for air, catching his breath and his wits~
Smith: And now Mario has a chance to recuperate
Hood: Yea man Rage came at him so fast with so much fucking strength that Mario never had a chance to catch the license plate on that eighteen wheeler carrying sex dolls that hit him
Smith: Why does it have to be sex dolls?
Hood: Why shouldn’t it be sex dolls?
Smith: Ugh, nevermind
~Mario is slow to get back to his feet. We see Rage hop onto the apron. The man might be bionic. Rage reaches over the top rope and snares Mario by the hair. Mario has a look on his face that says “what the fuck?!” Rage yanks Mario back against the ropes. He reaches forward, trying to pull Mario over the top rope, but Mario winds up grabbing onto Rage and getting him hooked over his shoulder. Mario charges forward and he drills Rage into the mat with a Running Powerslam!!!~
Smith: Wow! What strength and athleticism by Mario! He’s still got it!
Hood: Well of course he’s still got it. You know, the ability to fall short of the OCW Title
Smith: Rude and uncalled for
~Mario is slow back to his feet. He’s still breathing heavily. Rage suddenly rises back to his feet. Mario’s eyes widen. He can’t believe the resilience within this muscle bound freak of a man. Rage yells and charges at Mario. Mario lifts Rage up, turns around and plants him into the mat with a Spinebuster!!! The ring shakes from impact. Mario rolls over onto his back, he sucks some wind and stares up into the lights. He’s already covered in sweat. Rage is down…it doesn’t appear as though he’s going to get up as quickly this time~
Smith: I think the high impact moves are finally taking their toll on Bruce Rage
Hood: It’s about time. This guy’s got the resilience of Iggy fucking Hardy
Smith: There is no evidence that Bruce Rage dabbles in cocaine
Hood: There you go again, besmirching the good name of Iggy Hardy for NO REASON
~Rage sits up. Mario, still on his back looks over and is like “Ah shit, again?!” Mario rolls over and gets to his feet. Rage gets to his. Rage is wobbly. He takes a wild swing at Mario. Mario ducks, he hooks Rage from behind in a Full Nelson and DRILLS Rage into the mat with a Super Mario (Full Nelson Slam)!!! Once again the ring shakes from impact! The crowd is finally starting to believe. The Mario chants from before have returned in FULL FORCE~
Smith: Super Mario!!! Rage is down! Mario is on his feet! This one could be over!
Hood: Man if Mario ends up winning this thing…what a victory
Smith: Indeed…this would signal, to me, that he is BACK
~Rage tries to get up. He’s having trouble. Mario bends over and helps the guy out. He grabs a hand full of Rage’s ridiculously gelled hair and gets him to his feet. He hooks Rage and tosses him on his head with SIMPLY MARVELOUS!!! Rage is out!! Mario makes the cover. The crowd counts along as Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….“MARVELOUS” MARIO MAURAKO!!!!!
Smith: He did it! Mario did it!
Hood: Calm down. It’s not like he just won the OCW Television Title or anything
Smith: What a great win for the veteran! It’s one thing to defeat a Jack Puffer or a John E Depth. But to defeat one half of the tag team champions…that, my friend, signifies that Mario Maurako is in shape and ready to go
Hood: Well with Death March on the horizon he’d better be.
Smith: Oh wait, what’s this!?
~Jacob Hotstuff runs down the aisle and rolls into the ring. He attacks Mario from behind knocking him down and then begins putting the boots to him.~
Hood: It’s BroCode! Bros stick up for Bros.
Smith: It’s a heinous attack from behind is what it is!
Hood: You say Tomato I say Potato.
~Jacob Hotstuff calls over to Rage signaling for him to get up. Rage staggers to his feet as the duo picks Mario up off the mat. Rage picks Mario up into a bear hug as the duo prepares to hit BroCode! The crowd starts going wild as what appears to a fan wearing a hoodie has climbed into the ring. Before Jacob even knows the fan is there the fan running kicks Jacob in the side of the face sending Jacob down to the canvas before rolling out of the ring and abandoning his tag title belt. Rage continues to hold Mario as he is unaware what has transpired behind him. The hoodie clad fan doesn’t waste any time as he then charges towards Rage & Maurako, he passes them and springboards off the ropes and turns in mid-air and clocks Rage in the face with a knee. This sends everyone sprawling to the mat.~
Smith: This fan has just saved Mario from a 2 on 1 assault.
Hood: Wait a minute, that looked familiar.
Smith: What perfect aim on that knee too!
Hood: Yeah, a little “too” perfect if you ask me.
Smith: Wait, what’s going on now?
~The hooded fan walks over and grabs one of the tag team titles as Mario makes his way back up to his feet. The two men stand face to face as they stand over the body of Bruce Rage. The fan then aggressively places the tag title over Mario’s shoulder, bends down and rips the other tag belt off from Rage and then quickly stands up, flipping his head backwards which causes the hood to fall down.~
Smith: OH MY GOD IT’S PERFECT PAUL PARAS!
Hood: I knew it was too perfect!
~The fans go absolutely insane as Perfectly Marvelous shake hands and then raise the OCW Tag Team Championships over their heads.~
Smith: I think this means that Mario has found the “perfect” partner to complete his Death March Team!
Hood: It doesn’t matter what old bones Mario digs up, Team Collins will deal with them all anyhow.
~The crowd is going wild! It's an iconic image! The greatest team in OCW reunited once again! The fans are chanting for both Mario and Paras!~
Smith: I don't know the status of Alice Knight. But if Welsh is somehow vetoed then Mario's got a team of Brianna, Alice AND Paras!
Hood: We have GOT to get Alice off that team. Somebody needs to his Paras in the head with a frying pan. Maybe we can get him off the team too!
Smith: Don't give anyone any ideas!
Hood: One step forward...two steps back. These Zybala teams just won't stop growing!
Smith: I think Team Maurako just became the favorite to win Death March. Maurako and Paras have defeated every name you can imagine in OCW history. Heck, they dethroned THE APTITUDE last year for the Tag Titles!
Hood: Don't remind me!
Smith: Lurrr is back! CJ is back! Ed's got a team of outsider all stars! And, Perfect Paul Paras - perhaps the greatest wrestler in company history has returned for Death March! We are only TWO shows away from the biggest event in company history!
Hood: King Infinity needs to up the ante. His team CANNOT lose
Smith: Who will Aidan Collins round out his team with? I'm guessing we may get some answers next week. Until then I'm Smith and alongside me is Hood...goodnight everyone and have a great week!
~We get one final shot of Perfectly Marvelous as we fade to black~