OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, November 12th 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Another Monday night is upon us! With Death March nearly ONE MONTH away we simply could not wait to get home and watch tonight’s episode. Eight team captains. Each responsible for piecing together a four person team. Who will they choose? Rumors have been swirling! It’s been a crazy week in the OCW MACROCOSM! Who will show up? Who will the captains pick? Will we get any answers? My gosh it’s downright titillating! We emerge from the bathroom having freshly masturbated. We are now READY for the show. We take a seat on our couch with some pizza and beer. A cup of ranch is nearby. That’s not very appetizing at the moment so we cast it aside. We take a bite and oh boy! How we missed our greasy, carb loaded Monday night treat. The OCW logo appears followed promptly by the Massacre image. It’s TYME! We cut to the sold out OCW Arena which, as always, is filled with OCW fans (seriously have you ever read one of these where the arena WASN’T sold out? I’d actually write that, now that I think about it. Classic ocw. Ahem) Smith and Hood appear ready to go~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host, Smith and alongside me as always is Hood
Hood: Sadly
Smith: Sadly?
Hood: I never envisioned YOU as my life partner
Smith: Well that makes two of us. Anyway, tonight we have five action packed matches including a main event that will decide the next challenger for OGDA’s Craze Championship
Hood: We have GOT to get the title off that masked freak
Smith: I disagree. We’ll also see OGDA challenge King Infinity in a Non-Title Match
Hood: That could decide the fate of OCW. If King Infinity wins then winter is over. If OGDA wins, well, we’re fucked.
Smith: Dreaming of summer in November. You’ve got a long way to go, Hood
Hood: Stop reminding me
Smith: Anyway…a wild night is upon us. I feel as though a lot of exciting announcements are going to take place so let’s get to it!
Hood: Yea man, quit with the lame ass dialogue and fuck already!
~Figure 8 by Trust Company starts to play throughout the OCW Arena. The crowd pops for OCW Hall of Famer Curt Canon as he emerges from the curtain. He stands at the top of the stage for a few moments before making his way to the ring. His pace is slower than what people are used to. He reaches the ring walks over to the corner and climbs the ring steps, he steps between the top and middle rope makes his way to the far side of the ring and gets handed a microphone. With mic in hand he walks back to the center of the ring and begins to speak.~
Curt Canon: “ Serial Thrillers has come and gone and with it came another big show loss for me, but that is fine. It’s fine because losses don’t deter me like they do some other people. They don’t make me bitch and moan, they don’t make me want to quit the business I love so much, they make me better, make me stronger. Not physically strong oh no...mentally strong. These losses Improve my psyche...they help me reach my true potential, a potential that I almost fully unlocked around this time last year, but it wasn't meant to be.”
~He drops the microphone from his mouth to collect his thoughts and to let the fans soak his words in. When he feels enough time has passed he brings the microphone up again and speaks.~
Curt Canon: “ This brings me to Death Match. I will admit this is probably one of the toughest years I have had in OCW in almost 2 decades, but I have to be doing something right. Even as my loses stack up Marcus Welsh has decided that I would be a good pick to captain one of his teams. Let that sink in...Marcus Welsh chose me, not Mike Zybala. Marcus Welsh. This shocked me as I am sure it shocked everyone of you. Not only did Welsh choose me, but somehow the brackets have been drawn up and I get to take my revenge on Ed Houston. Ed Houston who could have been my friend, could have been my new partner, we could have took his Team Rocket idea and blasted off with it. He didn't want that...so he made me his enemy. No, he made his nemesis. You see he may have won the battle at Serial Thrillers but this war is far from over. This war has only just begun in my eyes and on the next battlefield we get to bring our troops….”
~The screen turns black and then slowly starts to count down from 10. Once it hits 1 the sound of a rocket taking off echoes throughout the arena. Rocket Man starts to blare as Ed Houston slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp. He stops by fans in the crowd and high fives them. Once he gets about half way down the ramp, he sprints and slides under the rope. He quickly jumps to his feet and makes his way up to the turnbuckle where he waves to the crowd. Once the music has cut off and the crowd has pulled themselves together Ed hops off the buckle and turns, facing Curt. Ed still has the OCW Lightweight Championship proudly draped over his shoulder. ~
Ed Houston: “Curt I know you’re excited to have the chance to hide your big match deficiencies at Death March, but unfortunately for you and your team, every wrestler has to be eliminated. It doesn’t matter if your partners are Checkers, Chubby Checkers, and a grandmaster at checkers, Team Houston, is going to blast right through you all and into the finals. Look at the team captains. Mike Zybala only chooses winners, and at Death March, that’s what my team will be.”
~Curt stares at the Lightweight Championship draped over Eds Shoulder, before focusing his attention on the man himself.~
Curt Canon: “ Leave it to you to carry around an irrelevant title, guess it makes sense though seeing as how your career is going to be an insignificant little blip on the OCW radar. Now I am glad you know the rules to Death March, thing is I don’t care if I get eliminated 1st, last, or somewhere in between. Fact of the matter is that the team I am putting together is going to destroy whatever low class OCW bottom feeders you decided to recruit. My pieces are all almost in place Ed, and once the puzzle is complete you will realize that there is no escaping the one sided defeat that waits for you in your future.”
Ed Houston: “For someone that seemed to care so much about this title two weeks ago, I’m kind of shocked to hear you now. Maybe what’s really holding you back is that attention span. Curt, Team Houston is like a planet, you can rain down on us meteors, but life will go on, and we will survive. I have some tricks up my sleeve for my Death March. I really hope your not just full of hot air and do too or Team Curt will crash and burn.”
Curt Canon: “ Yeah I cared two weeks ago when the title would have meant something, now it is just a mantle piece, but enough about the past let us look to the future. I hate to be the one to tell you, but yours looks bleak Ed. You see unlike me and mine you and your team will need all the tricks in the book to walk out of Death March victorious. Because I have something….no I have someone up my sleeve who will shock you, Welsh, and each and every fan in this building. I hope you put together the best team you possibly can Ed….but even then it won’t be enough to win the upcoming battle.”
Ed Houston smiles. “And who might this secret weapon be Curt?”
Curt Canon: “Well I’m glad you asked Ed…..Ladies and Gentlemen without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the first member of team Canon….”
~He stops and looks around at the crowd who are all on the edge of their seats with anticipation waiting for the first team member of any Death March team to be revealed. He then turns his attention back to Houston and gets a sly grin on his face.~
Curt Canon: “Come on, you didn't think it would be that easy did you? Did any of you?” He asks the crowd. “My teammates will be revealed when the time is right. And all I need from you Ed is to take your second rate team and to strap them into your rocketship real tight because the next few weeks are going to be a turbulence filled ride.”
Ed Houston (smiling). “I’d have it no other way.”
~ Rocketman by Elton John hits as the two rivals stare each other down, neither yet knowing who or what they will be facing at Death March but both anticipating a sure victory.~
Smith: Aww man I thought we were about to get our first surprise of the evening!
Hood: That's the last time Curt gets booked in the opening segment! Fucking cock tease
Smith: The mind games are already underway between these two...I guess they never really ended, when you think about it.
Hood: Nope. They had their match at Serial Thrillers and now they will go to war against one another at Death March
Smith: Indeed. Ed's got some impressive contacts. Curt's got some impressive contacts. I cannot wait to see who they choose to fill their respective teams!
~Cameras cut to the parking lot as a limo pulls up to the back entrance of the OCW arena. The crowd murmurs in excitement on who it could be.~
Smith: Are we seeing a major return right now? Any ideas?
Hood: Oh man Death March has me so excited. Show me… BIG BIFFORD!
Smith: And endure more Dangerous Dan death talks?
Hood: Those never get old!
~The limo stops as the driver steps out and walks to the back doors. It opens the doors and “Wiseguy” Saxon Rowe emerges, to a big jeer from the crowd. He has a grin from ear-to-ear as he side steps so Jenna Incredible can step out, who gets an ever bigger reaction from the crowd. Jenna’s appearance has drastically changed; she’s gone from brunette to platinum blonde hair, and her usual casual wear has been replaced with skimpy “lady of the night” attire. Rowe and Jenna begin to the back as the OCW cameras follow them.~
Smith: Damn, it’s just Rowe.
Hood: Hey! He may not be Big Bifford - but he did beat The Incredible One!
Smith: With help from his daughter.
Hood: Jenna kicked her father square in the jaw and he fucking deserved it!
~They make it through the back door as Rowe is examining names on the locker rooms. He shakes his head for a couple when AKB shows up, microphone in hand, cutting off his search.~
AKB: Mr. Rowe! Can I get some words on your victory at Serial Thrillers?
~Rowe turns his head, glaring a hole into AKB, but smiles, laughing, and gives him a hug. A confused AKB goes along as Rowe stops the hug.~
Saxon Rowe: Normally I’d get pretty fucking pissed for getting cut off like that - I am searching for someone at the moment - but yes - I can talk to you ALL DAY about my VICTORY over THE INCREDIBLE ONE! But wait!
~Rowe stops, as Jenna hands him his straight razor, fixing it while the crowd boos heavily. She holds up a mirror so he can see it, perfecting it. He nods, satisfied with it, as he hands the razor back to Jenna and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Rowe motions for AKB to follow them as they continue to look for a specific locker room.~
Saxon Rowe: Thank you love, now, yes. MY VICTORY! I told everyone in this arena I would expose TIO for the fraud he was. I exposed him as a fraud of a husband, a fraud of a father and a fraud as a wrestler! I perfectly beat the shit out of him. And the icing on the cake was Jenna showing her father her true feelings. You may all think I brainwashed Jenna but the fact is I’m not a psychic - I’m no Mother Theresa. Jenna came to her own feelings and acted on them - and I respect her for that.
AKB: Are you worried that TIO will come after you because you are… dating his daughter?
~They both stop in their tracks as Jenna cuts AKB off with a dangerous look.~
Jenna: Uh, no, AKB. We are not worried one bit. In fact, for your information, unless my father and Saxon here are forced to fight each other under OCW sanctioned matches - we’ve actually made a restraining order against him based on his DANGEROUS behaviour. He can’t come within ten feet of myself, or Saxon, or he’ll be in jail - *snaps her finger* - like that.
AKB: Alright… ok, since you’re not worried about TIO, what are your plans?
Saxon Rowe: My plans? I thought we were still talking about MY VICTORY! I said I could talk about it all day.
AKB: Uh… but you answered my question?
Saxon Rowe: This is getting boring - I got fucking shit to do.
AKB: Wait! Have you been asked by anyone to join their Death March team?
Saxon Rowe: Maybe I have… maybe I haven’t… maybe go fuck yourself. Ah but here’s the place I’ve been looking for! Splendid! Sorry AKB we got to cut this short - now fuck off and bye!
~Rowe and Jenna shrug AKB off as they enter the locker room they were searching for. The door closes and the words “Team Langston” appear on it - causing the crowd to react in a mixed manner as the cameras cut to the announce team.~
Smith: Oh my gosh! Is Saxon Rowe joining Team Langston?!
Hood: Are you blind?
Smith: No I am not blind!
Hood: Then I'd say he's probably joining Team Langston. Out with the old, in with the new! Rowe disposed of that crippled TIO guy and now he's going to help Langston rid the world of Rebel Rhodes
Smith: Well we'll see about that. For now all we know is that he stepped into a locker room
Hood: You think the guy was delivering a fucking pizza? Is he Jenna's pimp or something? C'mon, man...use your fucking head!
Smith: Ugh, stop it! I'm not comfortable discussing Jenna's...womanhood. She's just a child in my eyes!
Hood: Hey! Don't look at me, I'm no fuckin creep.
Smith: Well this is awkward. How about we cut backstage!
“I might be out of line here….”
~Fade in somewhere backstage where OGDA’s manager, Double J Joe Jones is standing in a secluded hallway somewhere.~
“You could say I’m about to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong and I understand if you tell me to fuck off and mind my own business, but, just hear me out.”
~Joe holds up a OGDA shirt.~
“My guy, and lets be honest here for a second, over the past month if you’ve been watching Massacre, you have heard Nanook and I talk alot about “my guy”, perhaps too much talk about this. But, my guy, OGDA, he’s a captain to one of these teams in what is really nothing more than a pissing match between Zybala and Welsh. 2 people, I hold with the highest regards.”
~Joe tosses the shirt away.~
“OGDA is now tasked with the task of not only fighting for the honor of Zybala, but he also has to find 3 other guys to join him in this fight, with the carrot of, “Winner gets a shot at the OCW Championship.” at the end of a stick. And you know, that is a pretty good carrot to dangle out there. Finding 32 people to take a whack at that is not going to hard to find.”
“Now, as you can imagine, OGDA, he has been consumed with this. He wants to assemble the best team anyone has ever seen. He wants to win this, let’s be honest, this bet for Zybala. He has taken this to heart and trust me when I say, that kid is going to leave everything he has in that ring at Death March to win this tournament. Afterall, we just saw what he did at Serial Thrillers.”
“OGDA, he’s sent out a couple of feelers asking a couple of the guys if they would like to be on Team OGDA and I’m not going to spoil who he asked. They know who they are, and you two fine upstanding gentlemen, you know you’ll have a rock solid team mate in OGDA. He isn’t going to stab you in the back, undermine you or anything that would prevent you in winning the whole damn thing. If he can’t win this tournament and get a shot at the OCW Championship, he wants one of his “buddies” to win that shot. You won’t have a bigger cheerleader in your corner than OGDA! And while OGDA racks his brain who else to ask, I too have been pondering the very same question.”
“Who would be a good fit on Team OGDA.”
~Joe smiles.~
“I just couldn’t help myself. I can’t stop myself. So here it goes.”
~Joe clears his throat and straightens himself up looking all presidential.~
“It is at this time, on behalf of your new OCW Craze Champion, OGDA. I would like to formally extend a invite to join OGDA on Team OGDA, to partake in the tournament at Death March, for an opportunity to win yourself a shot at the OCW Championship to none other, than our OCW Champion, Matt Meyhu.”
~Slight grin.~
“Now before you all take to twitter and put me on blast. Allow me to explain, why Matt Meyhu? Why he’s already has a match at Death March you idiot! I know this you bunch of mouthbreathers. Unlike 80 percent of you, I can actually read and comprehend what I am reading. Ever since I arrived here with OGDA, I have noticed one thing that has been going on with the OCW Championship and the person who holds said title. And that is, a opponent has been hand picked to face Matt Meyhu each and every month I have been here. And after Matt Meyhu disposes of his hand picked opponent, each one with the promise of being the guy who is going to knock Matt off of his pedestal and win that belt. No matter how you look at what have been going on, no matter how many smiles you see, no matter how many kind words are spoken, this is what has been going on. The OCW has someone who is dominate and it’s their job to find someone to beat him.”
“And they’re running out of people to find Matt.”
~Joe raises an eyebrow.~
“This tournament, besides to settle some sort of bet, put Zybala in a position of power and shuffle Welsh to the side. This tournament is nothing more than to find the next guy, or gal, to throw up at the wall and see if they stick, to see if they have what it’ll take to maybe defeat you. They are going to gather 32 souls, and at the end of the night, we’ll see who is the last man standing. This, Matt, is scraping the bottom of the bowl.”
“So. Why not just beat them all in one night? Ruin their plans, stick it to them, and show everyone in the wrestling world just how superiour you are by winning this tournament, beating everyone and ripping up someone’s golden ticket at the end of the night.”
~Joe smiles.~
“Make Death March, the night of Meyhu.”
~Fade out.~
Smith: An interesting theory by Jones
Hood: And one I'd totally agree with IF Meyhu weren't already slated to face the god among men, Scott Syren
Smith: We haven't seen Syren wrestle a singles match in years. There's no guarantee he's the man he was
Hood: Syren is ageless. He'll be competing and winning OCW main events in the year 2675.
Smith: Right. If Meyhu were to join OGDA's team that would put an entirely new spin on this entire event.
Hood: Not to mention putting Meyhu and Mack at odds once again. Those two just can't stay away from one another!
Smith: Well they've been two of the best, most consistent wrestlers in OCW over the past few years. What do you expect? The best rises to the top around here. There's no other way to get there.
Hood: Ain't that the fucking truth.
Smith: Well we've already heard a ton of words but have yet to find out one teammate. Oh well, the night is still young. So young, in fact, that we need to get to our opening match! One half of the championship team, BroCode will return to singles action. Bruce Rage looks to, well, do horrible things to Shootah
Hood: Hell yea
|
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Bruce Rage © (2-1) vs. Shootah (0-2)
~The crowd is ready for their first in ring action of the evening. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! INTRODUCING FIRST FROM LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA....
~"For the Glory" plays through the house speakers with a loud and heavy bass thud. Across the stage in a deafening staccato of explosions, several columns of pyro sparks burst along the stage. As the explosions die down, the curtains part to allow the entry of a bronzed god of a man with spiked blond hair and a chiseled jaw that could split glass with but a mere touch. His body ripples with power, every muscle twitching and flexing as he stands and stares at the crowd with intensity. He curls his biceps as he dips forward, then whips his arms back as all the pyro columns explode out from either side of himself like waves of expelled energy. The black trunks upon his pelvis blazed with his name, BRUCE RAGE, Alpha symbols emblazoned upon his knee pads and the corners of his boots, all in a bold and broken golden metallic print. The OCW Tag Team Championship Belt is draped across his waist. The gold belt fits right in with Rage’s presence~
Smith: He’s an impressive looking man, no doubt
Hood: Instead of no doubt you should have said no homo
Smith: What?
Hood: Nevermind
~Bruce makes his way with a cocky swagger to ringside, seemingly oblivious to the people around him. Arrogance defines him by expression alone with a cocky smirk and creased brows as his feet meet those ring steps one after the other. He wastes little time entering the ring. He steps to the center of the ring, the lights dimming with a single golden spotlight shining down upon him. There he starts performs common bodybuilder poses in order to better show his physique. Front lateral spread, a slow curl into a classic front double bicep, then a twist into a side chest and then finally a turn into a back double bicep pose that ends with him spinning back around to face the camera with his arms whipping out at both sides. All four columns in the ring explode with pyro sparks, followed by more sparks raining down from the ceiling above and down onto the ring.~
Belvedere: STANDING AT 6' 5" AND WEIGHING IN 300 LBS.... HE IS ONE HALF OF THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... BBBBBRUCE RRRRRRAAAAAAGGGGEEEE!!!
~With a grin, he stands and nods at the crowd as he awaits his opponent.~
Belvedere: AND HIS OPPONENT.... FROM PARTS UNKNOWN
~Out steps a fearful Shootah, eyes wide as saucers and sweat dripping from his dreadlocks and coating his face. He's dressed in his full ring gear and an old ratty patched up army jacket. He points at Bruce in the ring and shouts out of the crowd, "IS THE BOSS OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND?!!!"~
Belvedere: SSSHHHOOOTTTAAAAHHH!!!
~He paces back and forth as a generic riff track plays for his music, fingers running through his hair. Suddenly he rips his jacket off and shouts, "I CAN DO THIS! RRRRRAAAAHHH!!" And bursts down the aisle to ringside. He gets a running leap slides under the ropes and hops to his feet and LUNGES at Bruce Rage with a flying shoulder block. Bruce doesn't even budge as Shootah bounces off of him clutching his hurt shoulder.~
*DING DING DING*
~Shootah rolls to his feet in a fighter's stance and Bruce simply flexes his muscles. Shootah's eyes go wide and he immediately feints dead away on the spot.~
Smith: What the…
Hood: Haha…CLASSIC SHOOTAH
Smith: For the love…can we stop sending this guy to the ring? He doesn’t even make it two seconds past the bell!
Hood: I think he lasted three. Give the guy some credit
~Bruce looks at the ref, perplexed and confused. The Ref looks back at him with a shrug. The Rage Train shrugs his shoulders and places a boot on Shootah's unconscious chest!~
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
TTTHHHRRRREEE!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: ....It's already over? But I just sat down..... Ok Fine.... THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL, BBBBBRUCE RRRRRRAAAAAGGGGGEEE!!
~HUGE HEEL JEER!~
Crowd: THIS SUCKS! THIS SUCKS! THIS SUCKS!!!
Smith: I agree with the crowd! This does stink!
Hood: They said it sucks
Smith: Whatever
Hood: You have to admire Rage. Guy walks in there and murders people without lifting a finger. I think he calls that new move we just witnessed the presence which instills death.
Smith: Again, whatever
~"Walk on Water" by Ozzy Osbourne plays over the house P/A...~
*INSANE FACE POP!*
Hood: NO WAY!!
Smith: OH HELL YES WAY!!!! IT'S THE WILDKARD, JAMES SPADE LOOKING FOR SOME PAYBACK!!!
~Out through the curtain steps a man that hasn't been seen in a wrestling ring in three years and yet as stands out in front of that crowd, wearing a black sleeveless shirt "Wildkard" shirt, simple wrap-around sunshades, blue jeans, blue and teal knee and kick pads, black wrestling boots, and a long gray rifleman's duster. The near 50 year old looks incredibly fit, his long brown hair only showing modest signs of graying, though the salt and pepper stubble on his chin gave it all away. He smiles at the crowd, genuinely surprised that anyone still remembers him. He calmly removes his shades and places them in his coat pocket, then removes the coat and drops it on the stage~
Smith: Uh oh…I think Rage’s night is far from over!
Hood: Get that old man out of here! Alert the nursing homes in the area! Tell them they have an escaped inmate!
Smith: They aren’t called inmates
Hood: They should be because those places are fucking prison
~Back in the ring, Bruce squats down, motioning The Wildkard on. There are no words as James Spade bursts down towards the ring just as Shootah did with a mad sprint. He leaps over the apron and slides past the still unconscious foe. Bruce is too slow to capitalize as Spade hops to his feet, peppering the massive Bruce Rage with rapid fire combination punches and forearm shots, followed by a spinning roundhouse kick straight into a back thrust kick that sets the big man back a step!~
Smith: Yes! Payback has arrived!
Hood: What the fuck? I think Shootah was holding Bruce’s feet down!
Smith: No he wasn’t…we’re seeing that Spade still has the quickness of a wrestler in their prime!
Hood: Bullshit.
~As Bruce moves in, Spade sprints away from him, hits the ropes, and rebounds with a spinning wheel kick that spins the big man around and nearly knocks him off his feet! The Wildkard then back rolls to his feet and rushes in to leap up, catch Bruce with a running front facelock into a massive implant DDT that spikes the big man's head off the canvas!~
Smith: Wow! Look at him go! Rage is on dream street!
Hood: Dream street beats Elm Street
Smith: I’m sure not ALL elm streets are the stuff of nightmares
Hood: Speaking of nightmares…what the fuck are we watching right now? Some old man beating up Bruce Rage? WHERE IS HOTSTUFF!
~Bruce rolls to his feet, staggered and holding a hand to his forehead as Spade comes in from behind, leaping up, grabbing two handfulls of blond spiked hair and smashing the man's face into the canvas yet again!~
Smith: He’s going to rearrange Bruce’s face at this rate
Hood: Hey, Spade! Just because your face is all beat up and wrinkled to hell doesn’t mean you have to go around ruining other people’s faces.
Smith: I wish you’d say this stuff to his face
Hood: I would if I thought he could hear it
~Bruce once more rises, only to get a violent kick to the gut and find his 300 pound frame being scooped up by Spade who growls with effort and strain. He slips him into an inverted facelock and drops with a reverse DDT finish he calls.... THE DEADMAN'S HAND!!!~
Smith: Deadman’s Hand! That’s a signature move of The Wildkard!
Hood: Disgusting
Smith: Hey, Bruce Rage started this. He’s simply getting what he deserves
~The Wildkard rolls out of the ring as Bruce lays there, stunned for a moment and counts while slapping his hands together "ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING!"~
Smith: A visual pinfall! He just pinned one half of the tag team champions!
Hood: Visual pinfalls are like bragging that the Hooters waitress wrote “xoxo” on your bill
Smith: I love it when they do that. So sweet.
Hood: Yea you look like a visual pinfall fan
~At that moment Bruce fights to sit up, pure volatile anger playing on his features as he pushes up on the canvas with his knuckles in a blind, furious rage that is his namesake. Security at that moment moves in between Spade and the Ring and Bruce, slips out to go after the Wildkard. Immediately security stops him, roughly taking eight men to hold the mammoth titan back.~
Smith: What a statement by Spade here tonight!
Hood: And now here come security to make sure an old man doesn’t get murdered on TV. LET THEM FIGHT
Smith: Rage had his chance and he wasn’t fast enough to stop Spade
Hood: BECAUSE SHOOTAH WAS HOLDING HIM BACK
Smith: He was not!
~Spade gives him double fingers and then notices a camera next to him and says within ear shot of the condenser mic....~
Spade: THIS COULD'VE BEEN YOU, VINCENT LANGSTON. LEGEND MY ASS!
~And with that the Wildkard gathers up his coat and shades, meanwhile more security rushes out to contain Bruce Rage, moving him jointly down the aisle to the side stage curtain where they disappear~
Smith: You knew this was coming…if you know James Spade
Hood: What did he mean with that Langston reference?
Smith: Given the fact Langston left his wife, Rhodes high and dry I can only imagine he’s alluding toward the tag team title situation
Hood: You think they are going to team up?
Smith: I haven’t heard confirmation of that but given what we just saw I don’t know how that isn’t the option moving forward
Hood: So BroCode has to fight a married couple?
Smith: Potentially
Hood: Shit, that’s easy. Just have Hotstuff fly Melinda’s parents in for the weekend and it’ll create so much tension and controversy within their household that they will lose their focus and get beat
Smith: I have no words. Let’s cut backstage
~ We open up back in what looks to be the catering area. Mario Maurako is seen sitting at a table, the remnants of a used plate sitting next to him. Mario has a slight look of concern on his face as he searches through his cell phone. That concerned look quickly fades away as Mario clicks a contact and puts it on speaker phone. Soon the sounds of that widely known Presidential Theme music start to play. Yes virginia, some people still have call tones.~
Voice: Mario!
Mario Maurako: Hey Chris! It’s been a long while.
Chris: Yeah it sure has! I hope you’re doing well.
Mario Maurako: Well I’ve got a few issues going on but, for the most part I’m all good. Listen, I wanted to give you a call and see if you would be able to come help me out. I know you’re a busy guy these days but I’ve got a big elimination match coming up at Death March and I’m looking for some partners. So I started to look through my contacts and there was “Christopher America” and I was hoping you would be able to come help me out and take care of some business.
Christopher America: … In America!
Mario Maurako: Man it has been too long since I’ve heard that.
Christopher America: So I take it that you’re looking to get the Argonauts of Awesome back together?
Mario Maurako: That is the plan. I’d like for all of us to be able to be in Florida next week and the next couple before we head to Death March in Winnipeg.
Christopher America: Wait a second? Winnipeg? This event isn’t… in America?
~Maurako sighs and hangs his head, knowing that things are about to take a wrong turn. And no Virginia, we aren’t in West Virginia this time.~
Christopher America: Well now we have a huge problem. You know that I don’t keep a passport. I don’t go anywhere anymore that isn’t… you guessed it… in America!
Mario Maurako: I should’ve known that was going to be a deal breaker. That detail just sort of slipped my mind. Well thanks for your time Chris, I hope life continues to be great. Take care of that wife of yours and those kids alright.
Christopher America: I sure will buddy. Don’t be a stranger.
Mario Maurako: I’ll try not to be. Take care.
~Mario hangs up the phone. ~
Mario Maurako: Siri, call Silver Cyanide.
Siri: Calling Silver Cyanide.
Silver Cyanide: Hello?
Mario Maurako: Yo Cyanide! I need you in OCW man.
Silver Cyanide: Silver Cyanide died.
Mario Maurako: Umm… but I’m talking to you right now. Who is this if it isn’t Silver Cyanide? Is it Steve MacKinnon?
Silver Cyanide: This is the ghost of Silver Cyanide.
Mario Maurako: I don’t have time for this right now.
Silver Cyanide: Neither do I! When do you ever have time to be dead?
Mario Maurako: You’re not dead you fool!
~Mario hangs up the phone angrily and storms away from the table, leaving the dishes behind~
Smith: Looks like Mario is having some initial struggles filling up his Death March Team.
Hood: Of course he is. Who wants to team with someone who number one, is so old? And number two, just abandons his dishes and doesn’t clean up after himself. It’s despicable.
Smith: Please, Mario likely has a line of people out the door. But did you catch those names?
Hood: Yeah, some dude I don’t know and a dead guy.
Smith: That was Christopher America, a legend and Hall of Famer abroad. And OCW Hall of Famer, Silver Cyanide. Mario is swinging for the fences!
~We cut to the office of Marcus Welsh. He’s flashing quite the grin after witnessing Mario’s recent struggle. Greg sits in the corner filing his nails. His tranquil grooming is interrupted by Welsh’s laughter. Greg sighs and looks up at his special friend~
Greg: And what, may I ask, is so funny?
Marcus Welsh: Maurako. He’s got no friends, haha. Zybala made the worst choice ever. King Infinity is going to knife right through that hot buttered fool and enter into the final match with no wear and tear. He’ll be the freshest person in the ring!
Greg: That reminds me. We need to pick up some butter on the way home. I barely had enough for my toast this morning.
Marcus Welsh: Damnit, Greg! How many times have I told you? You handle all the grocery shopping! It’s going to be way past midnight by the time we get out of here. I’ll be way too exhausted to go to the store!
Greg: Don’t you pigeonhole me in that stereotypical house wife role! I’m a fully functional, self sustaining, independent man! How dare you belittle me!
Marcus Welsh: Alright, look, I’m sorry. It’s just with people like Zybala and Alice Knight running around I can get a little stressed. We can call in an order at the local grocery store. Meet in the middle, okay?
Greg: Oh so we won’t even go inside? We haven’t gone shopping together in months!
Marcus Welsh: That’s because I’m busy! I work all the time! Geez, Greg why…
~Welsh suddenly realizes the cameras are rolling~
Marcus Welsh: DON’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO FILM? Cut away this instant!
~We cut away~
~Immediately following the match, we find Bruce Rage having escaped from the security and storming around backstage in a blind fury, tag team championship back around his waist. He hurls boxes and crates around furiously. He immediately spots Who're with her camera crew and storms towards her! Who'Re yelps and runs away but the camera man isn't so lucky. Bruce takes hold of him and pulls him in, forcing the camera up close to his face~
Rage: YOU PUNK ASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!!!! JAMES SPADE! YOU WANT THIS ACTION?! YOU WANT A PIECE OF THE MAN THAT HUMILIATED YOU SO BADLY?! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK, BITCH!!! I DON'T NEED CHEAP SHOTS TO BEAT YOU! ANYPLACE! ANYTIME! ANY-FUCKING-WHERE! I'LL BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU CAN'T EVEN JERK IT TO PICTURES OF HELLRAVEN AT NIGHT YOU OLD SON OF A BASTARD!!! MARK MY WORDS! I'LL SMASH YOU IN TO OBLIVICRY!!!! I. WILL. RE-TIRE YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUU, BBBBBIIIITTTCCCHHH!!!
~Bruce then HURLS the camera man towards the wall with enough force to most likely break him along with the camera. The feed cuts promptly back to ringside~
Smith: Bruce Rage is not happy
Hood: No shit
Smith: A surprising turn of events this evening as it appears Bruce Rage may have an in ring date with James Spade very soon
Hood: That’s not the only surprise. How about the fact that Spade whacks it to Hellraven?
Smith: Ugh. I’m going to chalk that up as mere innuendo and rumor rather than fact. Besides, how is that relevant?
Hood: I don’t know. She’s wrestling tonight. He sneak attacked Rage with a sledgehammer earlier this evening. Seems kind of relevant.
Smith: A sledgehammer? Sneak attack? Whatever. Folks, it’s time for our second match of the evening so let’s head down to ringside!
|
|
Vossler (1-1) vs. Paralysis (1-0)
~It’s still early in the show. The fans only taste of violence was Rage demolishing Shootah (poor Shootah). They are thirsty for more! Belvedere clears his throat to a visceral reaction from this bloodlust crowd. It’s time for match number two~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a singles match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~“Decayer” by Pray for Sound hits. The crowd stands. They give a decent reaction to Paralysis. He emerges from behind the curtain and marches down to the ring, ignoring the fans with more than a hint of arrogance. He reaches the ring, rolls in and pops back to his feet~
Belvedere: From Another Dimension…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 223lbs…Paralysis!
Smith: And there is Paralysis! He was victorious in his return match against Shootah but then had his second match cancelled last week
Hood: It’s a big test for this guy from ANOTHER DIMENSION…whatever that means
Smith: People can be from all kinds of locations, Hood. Who are you to say there aren’t other dimensions?
Hood: Sane
Smith: Where is your sense of imagination!
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The lights flash momentarily as the opening riff to "Playing The Saint" by Digital Summer begins to play. As the song picks up, Vossler appears on the ramp. He quickly fist bumps the floor below him as he poses before beginning a confident march down to the ring~
Belvedere: "Weighing in at 217 pounds. Hailing proudly from London, England. He is... VOOOOOSSSLEEEERRRRRRRRRR!"
~Vossler smiles confidently in his march as he mouths along the lyric 'Maybe I want you to hate me' from his theme song. The crowd boos and cheers him edging towards louder boos than cheers. This seemingly does not appear to faze Vossler who slides under the ring ropes from one side of the apron to the other to pose.~
~He swiftly enters the ring only to reach out to the crowd through the top and middle rope shouting various things and bobbing along to his theme song. With one quick turn, he slides on his knee to the close corner and remains kneeled until the match starts~
Smith: And there is Vossler! He suffered a tough setback at Serial Thrillers when he lost a very close match to Hellraven
Hood: Ugh
Smith: But tonight he looks to rebound against Paralysis
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits. Vossler rises to a standing position. Paralysis rotates his neck, loosening the joints. They are ready to go~
Smith: If Paralysis pulls the upset tonight that would change his OCW career trajectory immensely
Hood: It would be a shocker. Nothing against the man from another dimension but I just don’t see him defeating Vossler
Smith: If one thing OCW has taught me over the years it’s that you should never assume anything. Vossler is the current Newcomer of the Month and has superstar written all over him but he’s got to earn it
Hood: Yea, yea, I know
Smith: And that road to earn his place at the top of OCW begins anew tonight against Paralysis
~Paralysis goes right after Vossler. He assaults the man with some lefts and rights. Vossler backs against the ropes. Paralysis shoots Vossler off the ropes. Vossler sprints across the ring…he bounces off the ropes and charges at Paralysis. Paralysis performs a leap frog. Vossler hits the ropes again. Paralysis leaps into the air and drills Vossler with a picture perfect dropkick!! Vossler hits the mat and rolls out of the ring~
Smith: Fast start to the match…Paralysis is looking very athletic early on
Hood: He’s definitely jumping around in there
Smith: Vossler, I’m sure, is still stinging from his loss at Serial Thrillers. A win tonight would be big for his positive momentum
Hood: Yea…still can’t believe he lost to that Hellraven chick. Fuck.
~Paralysis stands near the ropes, watching Vossler. Vossler seems unaware of Paralysis. Paralysis grabs onto the top rope and leaps over with a Plancha! He comes crashing down onto Vossler!! They tumble into the barricade! The fans at ringside go wild! Paralysis returns to his feet, fired up! Vossler, meanwhile, winces in pain while wedged up against the barricade~
Smith: Another athletic move by Paralysis…we’re seeing a ton of passion out of this man this go around
Hood: Yea, I wasn’t sure the man was breathing the first time he wrestled in OCW.
Smith: Well in all fairness he did make it down to the ring for those matches
Hood: Could have fooled me. I just remember him being in the ring and then on his back
Smith: Well that’s all behind him now. Tonight he looks inspired and ready to go!
~Paralysis pulls Vossler up. Vossler fires off a knife edged chop to the chest of Paralysis. He follows that up with a slap to the face! Paralysis doesn’t seem pleased. He reaches out and rakes the eyes of Vossler before whipping him into the steel steps! Vossler slams into the steps knees first, flipping over and landing on his back~
Smith: Vossler showed some signs of fighting back but, they were short lived
Hood: He was like that machine…SLAP CHOP
Smith: Not quite. Vossler did a chop slap
Hood: Yes but that doesn’t make the joke work. SLAPCHOP
~Paralysis steps onto the, umm, steps and looks down at Vossler. Vossler is on both knees…he gets to one knee. Paralysis jumps up and stomps into Vossler’s back with his right leg! Vossler flattens back out. Paralysis grabs Vossler by the hair, pulls him up and rolls him into the ring. Paralysis hops on the apron and steps in through the ropes~
Smith: Vossler is really taking a beating here tonight. Are we seeing the star of Vossler fading?
Hood: That or Paralysis is better than we all imagined
Smith: Could be…as we stated, we really didn’t get to see much from him during his first run here in the company
Hood: Yea, if OCW were a blackjack table and Paralysis were a blackjack player. His first run would be the equivalent of taking a seat and immediately passing out
~Vossler fights to his feet, showing tremendous recovery skills. Paralysis charges forward and takes him down with a clothesline. Vossler hits the mat hard. Paralysis goes for the pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Kick out by Vossler. He’s going to have to get some offense going if he wants to win this match
Hood: Guy is in a funk. WAKE UP VOSSLER
Smith: If he doesn’t snap out of it he will lose this match and be forced to start back at the bottom all over again
~Paralysis slaps the mat in frustration. He gets up and pulls Vossler to his feet. He whips Vossler into the nearest corner. Vossler leaps into the air and lands on the top buckle! Paralysis pauses, surprised by both his agility as well as his ability to avoid impact. Vossler turns around, facing Paralysis. Paralysis charges in, seeing a prime opportunity to knock Vossler from his perch. Vossler leaps off the top rope and lands on top of Paralysis, drilling him into the mat with a Meteora!!! The ring shakes with impact!! Paralysis is down. Vossler is down. The crowd is clapping and cheering on the action~
Smith: What a move! Vossler is so athletic!
Hood: Damn…you control the entire match and BOOM, one move later you’re back to square one
Smith: Square one is a tough place to be
Hood: Yea…in fact, I hate the word square one. Let’s call it Cubicle Uno
Smith: Let’s not
~Vossler and Paralysis get to their feet at the same time. Both men are a little worse for wear. Paralysis throws a right hand. It connects! Vossler delivers a blood curdling chop! Both men stagger. Paralysis leaps up with a knee! It connects! He hooks Vossler for a DDT! He tries to lift Vossler up but Vossler punches Paralysis in the kidney. Paralysis loosens his grip. Vossler gets free and hooks Paralysis in a pumphandle…he hoists Paralysis up, onto his shoulders and drills him into the mat with a Death Valley Driver (Eclipse)!!! The ring shakes! The crowd pops! Vossler goes for the pin. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….VOSSLER!!!!!
Smith: Big win for Vossler! That might be just what he needed to get his ‘groove’ back
Hood: His groove? Geezus
Smith: I’m just saying. He struggled in that match…looks, in my opinion, fairly lethargic. He almost lost BUT was able to hit just enough to score the pinfall
Hood: I’m a huge fan of Vossler and I think this guy is going to be a champion very, very soon. So, yea, I’m happy he won. But I’m not about to talk about this man’s ‘groove’.
Smith: Lay off me
Hood: What are you, starving?
Smith: Ha ha very funny. Tough loss for Paralysis but you have to admire the effort. He gave it a great shot…started out on fire and just came up a little short. I’m sure we’ll see more of him in the future
Hood: Yep he’s a lot better than he was
Smith: Indeed
~Picking up where we left the other day……~
~The video begins to play as the Sarge watches Joe talking to Henry at the prison, Henry if you remember from last week, is who Nanook thinks Joe signed to face both The Captain and the Sarge in a handicapped match. But as the Sarge quickly discovers, it wasn’t Henry who Joe was there to see. It was this monster of a man called Chamber.~
~The Sarge is, well, scared. He’s never seen someone the size of Chamber let alone tried to fight someone of that size and he decided that he wanted no part of that. The video ends and The Sarge is white as a ghost. That is when the door cracks open and in the doorway is Nanook. He is talking to someone in the hallway and doesn’t notice that the Sarge is in his office.~
~The Sarge was going to say something, he was going to make Nanook watch the end of the video and see who Joe has for this match, but before he makes a peep, Nanook runs his mouth.~
Nanook: “Listen, even with a moron like The Sarge, I’ve got this match in the bag. I’ll get Bester back, I’ll get back to make some real money and I’ll let that knucklehead go. He’s a nice kid, but he sucks. I shouldn’t have made that bet to begin with, now I’m saddled with dead weight not to mention a waste of payroll dollars. Listen, there is no hope for that kid.”
~The Sarge's face turns bright red and is pissed. He looks down at the tablet and next thing you know, he has deleted the video!~
Nanook “Listen, you can have the kid for a bag of chips! No really! You can have him, you’ll be losing money but whatever, he’s yours!”
~The Sarge then quietly opens the door next to Nanook’s desk and slips into the other room as Nanook laughs and enters his office not knowing that the Sarge was ever there.~
Smith: It appears as though Nanook might have put his foot in his mouth
Hood: Yea but the Sarge is such a pussy I don't think he'll do anything about it
Smith: You never know
Hood: Oh, I know
Smith: I kind of feel sorry for Sarge. Hopefully he is able to find the gumption or the guts or whatever you want to call it to stand up for himself! In the meantime, I'm being told we've got something going on in the back...so let's cut to that and see what's taking place!
~The scene goes backstage with the star OCW reporter Who'Re ready to begin. She is standing in front of a closed door.~
Who'Re: Hello, OCW fans, Who'Re here. You can feel the tension backstage already as wrestlers are all beginning to negotiate for their positions for Death March. Legends are said to be returning for the chance at this one night event so places on teams are going to be coveted.
~A door is slammed nearby and Who'Re looks over, with the camera focusing on the man now walking down the hallway. It's John E. Depth, so the camera quickly goes back to Who'Re, as no one expects Depth to make a team.~
Who'Re: There has been lots of gossip about potential teams being formed. I know many rooms are locked tonight with meetings going on between team captains and potential teammates. Nobody wants to be left out of the chance of a lifetime. Earlier today..
~The door behind Who'Re opens and startles her. She moves out of the way as Vincent Langston and Saxon Rowe walk out of the room into the hallway. They are still talking about what they're going to be doing next. Who'Re steps up to Langston.~
Who'Re: Excuse me, Vincent Langston, can I have a second? Have you made a..
Vincent Langston: I'm not giving interviews at this time. Saxon and I have places to be.
~Langston walks past Who'Re, who turns to Saxon Rowe.~
Who'Re: Saxon, please, does this mean you're officially a member of Team Langston?
Saxon Rowe:
Excuse me doll, but didn't you hear Mr. Langston say that we have places to be? How's 'bout you go fuck off somewhere, 'kay? Shoo!
~Rowe walks off to join Langston and they renew their conversation. Who'Re turns back to the camera.~
Who'Re: As you can see, things are changing rapidly back here.
~Down the hallway, the camera sees Langston and Rowe running into another man: Vossler, fresh off of his victory over Paralysis. The trio start to talk, getting Vossler to come along with them in their discussion as they move down the hall.~
Who'Re: Really rapidly. Are we seeing the formation of Team Legend? Back to you guys.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Whoa! I think we may have just seen 3/4 of a team back there!
Hood: Your math is off, bro
Smith: Huh? Vossler, Rowe, and Langston...that's three
Hood: Don't forget about Depth! He was back there too!
Smith: He's not on their team! You see how quick the camera cut away? He obviously stepped into the camera at an unfortunate moment.
Hood: That or he's the big reveal tonight and they wanted to cut away really fast before people could recognize him.
Smith: No. No, no, NO! John E Depth won't be on any team at Death March, okay?
Hood: Okay, fine, geez. Somebody obviously REALLY hates John E...
Smith: We still have no idea who Rhodes is going to team up with. I've got a hunch on a few...but they are simply hunches. Langston, meanwhile, seems poised to roll into Death March with Rowe and Vossler. That's three of the most talented wrestlers on our roster, Hood. And, even more impressive...they are all exclusive to OCW.
Hood: Well he's got one more void to fill and if it isn't Depth then I don't know who he could possibly choose!
Smith: Enough of this foolishness. It's time for two more impressive OCW talents to compete inside the ring. Solomon Cain looks to notch another win, keeping his perfect record in tact while Mike Harrison hopes to bounce back from a tough loss at Serial Thrillers. Let's head down to ringside!
|
|
Mike Harrison (5-1) vs. Solomon Cain (3-0)
~The crowd is focusing on a female who just exposed her breasts. The OBVIOUSLY OVER 18 individual didn’t have much to offer in the TIT department. So that leaves a bunch of the people in the crowd chanting “SURFBOARD”! The female frowns but her spirits are quickly lifted by a nearby nerd who offers a hug and popcorn. The female thanks him, saying that he’s a really nice guy who will make a great friend. The guy has that “oh shit” look on his face. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a singles match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~The lights in the arena go out. Ain't no easy way begins to play over the PA. As the guitar riffs kick in a spot flight cuts through he darkness to the top of the entrance way. Solomon Cain stands there with his head down, and his hair draped over his face. Solomon snaps his head back, throwing his hair back and exposing his face. Solomon slowly exhales a puff of smoke and marches to the ring~
Belvedere: From Cleveland, Ohio…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 255lbs…Solomon Cain!!!
Smith: Solomon Cain was slated to compete last week but had his match cancelled. This week he looks to make up for it by defeating the former Craze Champion, Mike Harrison.
Hood: I still can’t believe OGDA beat Harrison. Fuckin hell
Smith: If Cain were to defeat Harrison tonight then you’d have to assume he’d be in line for some kind of title opportunity
Hood: Oh yea, most definitely. But that’s not going to be easy because Harrison is fuckin good. We can probably just throw out whatever the fuck that was at Serial Thrillers
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~'Psycho' by Muse can be heard through the sound system and Harrison emerges from behind the black curtain. Upon seeing Harrison the crowd springs into life with cheers that echo around the arena. He stops and stretches his arms out wide taking it all in with a smile on his face. A few moments pass and Harrison makes his way down the ramp to the ring and taps the hands of fans along the way. When he reaches the ring he stops and stares intently at the ring, a moment later he slides under the bottom rope and runs towards the corner of the ring and springs up onto the top turnbuckle. He poses for the crowd as the drums midway through the song begin to get into motion and Harrison closes his eyes. After a moment he drops down from the top turnbuckle and readies himself for combat~
Belvedere: From Blackpool, England…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 185lbs…he is the current OCW Craze Champion…he is Mike Harrison!
~The bell rings and Belvedere exits. The crowd is engaged and ready to watch these two top tier talents battle it out~
Smith: This would be the biggest win in Cain’s OCW career!
Hood: It might be a must win for Harrison. What happens if he loses?
Smith: That’d be two losses in a row. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this is a must win but it would definitely hinder his chances of a quick bounce back into some sort of title picture
~Harrison sizes the much larger Cain up. Cain approaches Harrison with confidence. Harrison, while not lacking in confidence, is definitely more leery. They lock up in the middle of the ring. Cain uses his strength to bully Harrison back into a nearby corner. Scruff comes in, forcing a break. Cain is quick to release, holding his hands in the air. Harrison jumps through his open window with kick and punches into the body of Cain!! Solomon staggers back as the crowd reacts positively to the maneuvers Harrison is dishing out. He’s got Cain leaning against the ropes~
Smith: Never give a wily, seasoned vet an opening
Hood: Yea if Solomon Cain hadn’t been such a pain in the ass maybe his dad, Outcast, would have stuck around and taught him a few things
Smith: What a terrible thing to say!
~There's a commotion going on in the crowd as the match continues.~
Smith: What's happening over there? It looks like something's happening near the ring.
~The cameras pick up what's going on. Vincent Langston, Saxon Rowe, and Vossler are now behind the barrier in the first row, arguing with some of the fans who were sitting there. The fans' arguments about paying for their tickets doesn't last as the wrestlers grab them by their shirts. All of the fans quickly relent and hurry away to sit on the steps, while Langston, Rowe, and Vossler take their seats.~
Smith: What are they doing here?
Hood: The same as everyone else, Smith, they want to see some violence!
Smith: Is it just the match, or do they have someone in mind? Death March will have teams of four you know.
Hood: Of course I know that! Do you think they're interested in me?
Smith: Something tells me that's not likely.
Hood: I can make a mean Old Fashioned.
~Harrison, obviously distracted, receives a knee lift from Cain into the gut. He doubles over. Cain hooks Harrison around the waist and lifts him up with a Gut Wrench. He tosses Harrison over the top rope to the outside!! Harrison bangs off the apron and lands roughly! The crowd is like “OH SHIT!” Rowe reacts with approval. He looks at Langston who nods. Vossler, too, seems impressed. Cain hops out of the ring to stay on top of Harrison~
Smith: And there is the strength of Solomon Cain on full display. This man lacks nothing in the talent department
Hood: He’s got to be careful throwing an old man like Harrison around. It’s dangerous
Smith: Here you go with your old man rhetoric again
Hood: I said old, not ancient. James Spade is ancient.
~Cain grabs Harrison and tosses him toward the barricade nearest the trio at ringside. He slams hard! Rowe stands up and yells “WHOA!” while Langston and Vossler manage to avoid being impacted. Cain heads over and looks at the three men. Rowe, evidently the talker of the trio, points at Harrison and recommends that Cain finish the job. Cain throws a stiff kick into Harrison. He grabs Mike by the hair and tosses him back into the ring. Harrison is on the mat, wincing in pain. Cain steadily walks up the steps while Rowe, Langston, and Vossler all appear to be impressed~
Smith: Is Cain the fourth member?
Hood: He’d be a hell of a fourth member. Man…can you imagine a team with those four? Rhodes is fucked
Smith: Again…let’s reserve all assumptions until we know the teams!
~Cain steps back into the ring. He hovers over Harrison, looking down at the former Craze Champion with disdain. He kicks at the man’s head while looking over his shoulder at the trio observing from the front row. He reaches down, indicating that this could be near the end. He snares Harrison by the hair and hooks him for a powerbomb. He lifts Harrison up…but Harrison delivers a few downward elbow strikes into Cain’s forehead! Cain stumbles. Harrison leans back and tosses Cain with a Hurricanrana!! The crowd pops! Cain is stunned~
Smith: Solomon Cain was way too methodical. Urgency, man, urgency!
Hood: What if those three are out here for Harrison?
Smith: Hmm
Hood: I mean you could argue that they’ve distracted Cain since showing up
Smith: I don’t think so. I think they are merely observing. It’s Cain’s job to stay focused.
~Harrison is back on his feet. He sprints up from behind and drops Cain with a Bulldog!!! Cain is face down on the mat. But he’s not down for long. The big man is resilent, fighting back to his feet. Harrison rushes over and lifts a knee right into Cain’s face!! Cain falls to the side. There’s a faraway look in his eyes as he stares into the lights. That knee knocked him loopy. Harrison stands in a corner, ready to pounce~
Smith: Uh oh…this could be it!
Hood: Fucking shit…talk about a turn of events
Smith: Uh huh. Never take an OCW opponent for granted…NEVER
~Cain sits up. He looks around, dazed. He gets to his feet. Harrison rushes forward and drills square on the chin with The Sunshine Superkick!!! Cain goes stiff before falling to the mat. Harrison makes the cover! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MIKE HARRISON!!!!!
Smith: Great comeback victory for Mike Harrision! Cain got a little arrogant and it cost him
Hood: Yea, Mike Harrison can go. I’m glad that loss to OGDA wasn’t the beginning of the end for him here in OCW. It appears he’s got much more to give
Smith: Indeed. He should be in title contention very quickly! Now, as far as Death March goes…I have no idea what his plans are or will become…
~As Harrrison celebrates his victory, Langston and his group can be seen stepping over the barriers and coming to the ring. All three enter and Langston walks up to Harrison, nodding in approval.~
Smith: They're here for Mike Harrison!
Hood: I knew it! Can't blame them for that.
~Harrison and Langston talk for a second, with Vossler stepping in to congratulate Harrison on his victory. But with Harrison distracted, Rowe suddenly grabs him and drops him with the Straight Razor! The crowd is shocked. Langston turns to Rowe who shrugs. Langston shrugs back, even as Vossler helps up Harrison, only to then give him the Hakaze!~
Hood: You were totally wrong Smith as usual.
Smith: What is going on??
~Rowe and Vossler keep Harrison down by stomping on him as Langston goes to a standing, fairly coherent Solomon Cain. The two shake hands and Cain comes over to join in on the abuse. The fans are booing everything going on. A beaten-down Harrison is pulled up by the trio and he is fed to Langston, who says something to Harrison that can't be heard over the crowd. Langston then takes Harrison to the mat with the Scars of War, leaving him laid out. The four men leave as a unit, heading for the back and ignoring the trash being thrown at them.~
Smith: Langston's no longer loved by the fans after that. But he's got a dangerous team built for Death March!
Hood: I wouldn't want to face any of them in a fight, much less all of them. Rhodes is screwed.
Smith: She’s got an uphill battle to be sure. She’s got to field a team that can compete with THAT. It’s a good thing she’s got many talented wrestlers on speed dial
Hood: Just because they are on speed dial doesn’t mean they’ll answer, Smith
Smith: Oh I’m sure she’ll find some people to combat the force we just saw come together. It may not be enough, but it’ll be significant, no doubt
~The OCW Superhero Champion, OGDA is walking down the hallway with his SuperHero championship around his waist. He is so proud that he won the title, his first in his career in case you haven’t heard. OGDA is all smiles as he makes his way down the hallway and just as he is about to pass the door to the female locker room, the door opens up and stepping out of the girls dressing room is his agent, Double J Joe Jones, much to the surprise of OGDA.~
Joe Jones “Think about it, That is all I’m asking, just think about it.”
OGDA “Mister Jones! You can’t be in the girls locker room! That is where they get naked and take their showers after their matches! The OCW Rulebook clearly states that no men shall be permitted in the girls locker room! You’ll get in trouble!”
~Joe closes the door behind him and smirks.~
Joe Jones “Oh….I, I have a special pass that allows me to be in there.”
OGDA “What kind of pass?”
Joe Jones “The I’m not going to rape you and seeing you naked doesn’t interest me pass.”
~As OGDA processes that. Joe puts his arm around Bester and they slowly start to walk down the hallway.~
Joe Jones “Best! If you must know, I was asking someone in there to join your team for Death March.”
OGDA “Who?”
Joe Jones “Someone. A female obviously.”
OGDA “Does she have a name or something?”
Joe Jones “She does, hopefully teammate on Team OGDA.”
OGDA “Oh? I like that name. What does she look like?”
Joe Jones “Pretty, she looks pretty.”
OGDA “Well that doesn’t narrow it down. All of the girls in OCW are pretty.”
Joe Jones “They are, and hopefully this pretty princess will choose to be on your team and if she does, I feel good about Team OGDA. Especially since you know who, I feel, are going to agree to be on your team.”
OGDA “Our team, It’ll be our team Mister Jones.”
Joe Jones “Right. Our team. But don’t worry about none of that right now. You need to focus on that match with Collins. That match is coming up soon yeah?”
OGDA “It is. I hope Mister Collins is ready for a fight…”
Joe Jones “Best! I don’t ask much from you, but tonight, I’m going to ask you to do something for me.”
OGDA “What’s that?”
Joe Jones “Break Collin’s fucking jaw. That motherfucker pissed me off the other day. You heard the shit he was saying right?”
~OGDA lowers his head.~
OGDA “He did say a bunch of things I shouldn’t have heard. He has a very naughty mind, kinda like Mister Kelloggs. I like Mister Kelloggs and all, but he has a very naughty mind.”
Joe Jones “Best. I took offense to what Collins said. I felt that, that it was a personal attack on me and how I live my life. I would like nothing more in life then to get in the ring and give him the beating of his life, but I can’t do that right now. But you can and I want you to bust him upside his skull. Just beat his fucking ass Best. Can you do that for me?”
OGDA “I didn’t like what Mister Collins said either. It was very rude of him. Mister Jones. As the OCW SuperHero Champion, you know that I will stand up to the bullies. Mister Collins is nothing more than a bully and he will get a taste of his own medicine. I promise you that. Mister Collins, he’s, he’s, why, he’s dead meat!”
~Joe smirks.~
Joe Jones “Thanks buddy! Now go get me my pound of flesh.”
~OGDA nods, turns on his heels and marches off, a SuperHero on a mission.~
Smith: Is it so hard to provide a safe working environment for men AND women back there?
Hood: Man I need that pass. I mean, not for any nefarious purposes...only because I'm a little pee shy and prefer to urinate in a stall. The women's bathroom...FROM WHAT I HEAR...has way more stalls than the men's.
Smith: You aren't pee shy! I've seen you relieve yourself on the side of the OCW Arena!
Hood: Ah hell I was drunk, Smith. Pee shyness doesn't exist after several Old Fashioneds
Smith: Enough! You aren't getting any sort of pass that allows you access into the women's locker room. In fact, I think I'm going to report Joe Jones. This is 2018, afterall. We need to catch up with the times!
Hood: WEAK ASS EQUALITY
Smith: I just hope OGDA is ready for his match tonight. Aidan Collins will be tough.
Hood: If he breaks King Infinity's jaw then, well, I'll be very upset. So much so that I might just have to force myself into that woman's locker room to use one of their stalls
Smith: This is ridiculous. Good luck to OGDA later tonight. I hope he does, indeed, give Collins WHAT FOR
~The OCW Arena is quiet, waiting for the next match to start, when “Who Taught You How to Hate” blasts from the sound system. The crowd cheers powerfully as OCW Hall of Famer, the Incredible One, slowly walks out onto the stage, looking defeated. He barely breaks a smile as he does a small wave to the crowd before calmly walking down the ramp and into the ring. He grabs a microphone and looks around the arena. His music fades out and all can be heard are loud “TIO” chants. His eyes are red, with dark circles below them, as he clears his throat and speaks.~
TIO: ...I’m going to be perfectly honest with you all. I’m not in a good place, at the moment. I appreciate the cheers and the support - but I don’t feel I deserve it. I’ve been barely sleeping, thinking about everything that went down at Serial Thrillers - and everything that happened before. I...I..
~TIO stops his speech, breaking, some tears falling down his cheeks. He puts his palm over his eyes as the crowd cheers - but some do boo him. Some fans who were cheering begin to argue with the ones jeering. TIO notices this and cuts them both off.~
TIO: For those angry at the fans booing me right now… don’t be. I deserve it. I messed up, big time. I made a decision I can’t reverse or bring back. I got selfish and forced Leslie to do something she may not have wanted to do - and I didn’t get input from Jenna. Honestly if I were in her shoes, I would’ve superkicked me too. Should Rowe have been there, filming me? No… but it doesn’t change the fact I made a horrific choice that’ll haunt me until the day I die.
~Pausing for a moment, TIO voice can be heard trembling.~
TIO: This week I did something for the first time in close to two years. I relapsed. For those that don’t know - I had a massive drug addiction problem for close to a decade. The stress and emotional pain of losing my wife - and the support of my daughter - has broken me. I recognize that I relapsed but this has shown me that at the moment I am weak and I need to go do soul searching and I need… a break.
~The crowd begins shouting “NO!” in a high-pitch fever as TIO nods.~
TIO: I know a lot of people were hoping I’d be a captain, or hell, even on a team for Death March - considering it’s in my home country of Canada. I received a lot of offers from various captains… but I officially declined them all. I’m not going to Death March - I don’t want to go to Death March. Right now I need to focus on fixing myself. I don’t think I can do this right now… or… maybe anymore.
~TIO puts the microphone by his hip as he thinks on the spot, the crowd continuing to chant “NO!”.~
TIO: I’m sorry… but my mind is made up. Tonight, I’m officially announcing my retire--
~Figure 8 by Trust Company plays as Death March Team Captain Curt Canon makes his way to the entrance ramp microphone in hand.~
Curt Canon: Ian, can I call you Ian? Curt Canon. Surprisingly enough in our time here we haven’t really had too much time to interact, but I am about to change all that. You said you got a lot
of offers from various captains but you haven't gotten one from me yet….until now. I understand you have had a rough go of it. Wife passed and that’s shitty, daughter betrayed you cause of teenage angst….blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch. We all go through shit, it is how we deal with that shit that makes us who we are. You think leaving the business will get you back, get you straight, fix your problems? I see it the completely opposite way. So I am asking you before you settle on this so called “retirement” to join me next week on the 2nd ever episode of Curt Canons Run In where I will shed a little more light on things.”
~TIO raise an eyebrow, looking stunned that Canon is out on the ramp. He clears his throat, a little taken aback, as he searches for the words.~
TIO: Curt… I get you need to make a team - but - I’m out here, pouring my soul out to these people, to the world, and trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong. Why should I even entertain this? And I got to say, the “blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch” line is really helping your cause right now! I’m pretty dead set on this retirement so what exactly do you want to shed light on?
Curt Canon: Well Ian truth is you used to be one of the biggest names in this company, then you turned over a new leaf and became good. You became the nice guy everyone wanted you to be. But is that really who you wanted to be? You went from being Incredible to being unbearable...Don't fret though I’m here for you. I'm here to help “ fix” you Ian. To help mend your broken psyche. You are standing in the middle of that ring, talking about doing some soul searching, well I hate to be the one to tell ya but your search will reveal nothing. You see I already found your soul, I already know how to fix you, I just need you to follow me on this journey. Follow me into Death March Reclaim the piece of yourself that you lost. Reclaim your top spot in this company, but most importantly Ian reclaim your Incredibleness.
~Nodding to Canon’s words, TIO scratches his chin, shaking his head in disbelief.~
TIO: I can’t believe I am going to entertain this - but folks, Curt Canon just gave the OCW another week of TIO.
~The crowd erupts in cheers as Canon nods, happy to hear TIO has changed his mind. TIO puts his hand up though.~
TIO: I’ll be a guest on your “Run In” show Curt and I’ll listen to what you have to say - but I’m warning you right now: if I come out next week and you feed me bullshit … I’m going to make sure there is no Team Canon for Death March.
~TIO drops the mic as his music plays, with Canon nodding at the top of the ramp before he exits to the back. TIO gets out of the ring as the cameras cut to the announce team.~
Smith: I can't help but to feel slightly nauseated. TIO comes out here, a shell of himself...he admits to falling off the wagon. He opens his soul. He exposes himself
Hood: He did WHAT?!
Smith: Not literally! What I'm trying to say is the man was totally vulnerable and out comes Curt looking to prey on his vulnerability. I just plain don't like it
Hood: Hey, listen. Curt is like everyone else on the roster. He wants to be the man. Or, well, the man behind Aidan Collins, of course. In order to do that he needs a strong team at Death March. Who better than TIO? The guy has done it all here in OCW. I say sign him up! Get close to him. Find out what weakness he's currently suffering from and then when he helps get you to the finish line...YOU TAKE HIM OUT
Smith: You are a terrible person
Hood: Meh, only on Mondays. I'm generally fairly affable Tuesday through Sunday.
Smith: Well TIO will be back next Monday as a guest on Curt Canon's Run In. What will Canon's pitch be? I have a feeling we are in store for something major
~We cut back to the office of Marcus Welsh. It’s been fairly quiet for the GM this evening. That could change – one would think. However, at the moment, he’s handing a grocery list over to Barry Man is Low who is prepared to do some shopping. Butter is underlined thrice on the list. Welsh doesn’t seem too upset. Greg, meanwhile, has excused himself. Barry exits leaving Welsh alone with Knux~
Marcus Welsh: Haha! I love it! Look at my captains! Langston has already put together a great team. He’s good to go. Those four can start training, working on their timing. They will be near impossible to beat. Then, you look at Canon. Another one of MY captains. He’s got TIO reconsidering retirement in favor of joining Team Curt! Could this be going ANY better?
~Knux stands by the door stoically. Welsh continues on like Knux is talking to him~
Marcus Welsh: Oh and what of Zybala’s captains, you ask? Well Rhodes' only ally appears to be a man one year away from Medicare. Meanwhile Maurako’s own family has turned him down. So he’s a loner. Ed’s probably off playing that dumbass video game Red Dawn or whatever. And OGDA…well his manager is perving around the women’s locker room. Lock it up, Knux! We got this!
~A confident Welsh leans back in his chair. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: While I hate his arrogance I can’t help but notice the struggles Zybala’s captains are enduring
Hood: Hey, look, just because Welsh knows how to pick winners doesn’t mean Zybala’s captains are loser…or, wait, that’s exactly what it means!
Smith: Calm down. There’s still plenty of time left. However, as of right now, you have to give the early nod to Welsh’s captains. They are on the ball. Speaking of Welsh’s captains…
Hood: And their greatness
Smith: We will see the man chosen by Welsh to lead the next generation of OCW stars, Aidan Collins take on one of Zybala’s captains, OGDA next! Any thoughts, Hood?
Hood: This is probably the most important match since Meyhu competed in that battle royal back in 2017. We NEED Collins to win this. If he loses to OGDA…I just don’t know about the future of this company
Smith: Maybe it turns to OGDA? Maybe he’s the new face of OCW
Hood: THE MAN DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FACE
Smith: Whatever…let’s head down to ringside for what should be a tremendous match!
|
|
OGDA © (5-1) vs. “King Infinity” Aidan Collins (2-0)
~A loud “OGDA” chant consumes the atmosphere all the way up into the rafters of the OCW Arena! Any birds (OR OWLS) up there would most surely be startled into flight. Considering no birds are visibly soaring through the crowd we can assume that the OCW pest control is, at the very least, competent. Belvedere clears his throat…the crowd ceases their chants in favor of passionate, uncontrollable yelling! They are ready for some in-ring, likely PG-13 action!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a Non-Title match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
~A rainbow shoots over the entrance way....~
"Most of the time I guess I am!"
~OGDA runs out from the back to a huge pop from every Shining Star in attendance!~
"But if there's trouble I'll be there
~The Rainbow Warriors are flooding the ramp area to the ring just to get close to OGDA!
"Look at me go!
~Highfives!
"Flying through the sky,
Fighting the bad guys,
There's no need to fear
Cuz I'll be here"
~The children are reunited with their parents!
"I'll be your superhero"
~Everyone! Sing along!~
Belvedere: Introducing next…From the hearts of every Shining Star in the world, from the Smiles of each and every single little buddy that has graced God's green earth…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 320ish lbs…he is the OCW Craze Champion...Orgulloso Guardian Del Arcoiris!!!
~OGDA slides into the ring upon hearing his name. He stands tall and triumphant~
Smith: Why is the CRAZE Champion coming out here first?!
Hood: Because Aidan Collins is the man
Smith: The champion should ALWAYS come out second
Hood: Calm the fuck down, geezus. This isn’t even a title match.
Smith: TIME HONORED TRADITION
Hood: There’s nothing Time Honored about OGDA
~OGDA continues to fire up the crowd. He’s got the Craze Title secured around his waist. We have to say he looks pretty good (NO HOMO) with that belt on. Belvedere moves forward with his task – nay, privilege of announcing OGDA’s opponent (biased narrator alert!)~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~BOOOOO goes the crowd. They are pissed this man is coming out second. They are pissed he’s being anointed as the new FACE of OCW. They are pissed because he won’t let them touch his jean jacket. They are, ya know, pissed~
Smith: These fans showing how they feel about King Infinity
Hood: Losers get cheered. Winners get booed
Smith: I disagree with your logic
~As the beginning chords of "The Penetrating Eye" by Thee Oh Sees begins to play, a shower of sparks falls from the ceiling brightening the arena. Through the embers that fall gracefully onto the entrance ramp, the titantron shows an image of view of a camera zooming in on a star. The camera rises from their seats, anticipating the emergence of the New Face of OCW...~
BAM!
~As the main guitar riff from "The Penetrating Eye" kicks in, a firecracker bursts on the stage and the shower of sparks ends. Accompanying the loud crack of the explosive, the star on the tron explodes. In the newfound space, a name is displayed:~
Aidan Collins
I have just the thing to wear
I'm a superhero"
It's mayhem!
It's Madness!
Sally is sad cuz she didn't get a hug!~
I'm a superhero
Look at me go"
Hugs!
Lowfives!
Selfies!
All of this going on as OCW's Superhero makes his way to the ring....~
Everyone is happy!
Sally got a hug!
There is so much happiness as the OGDA rolls into the ring and climbs the nearest set of turnbuckles!~
King Infinity
~On his way down the entrance ramp, Aidan yells out to the crowd that he's the best. As they boo him, he holds his hand to his ear, encouraging them to get riled up.~
~After walking up the ring steps to enter the ring, Aidan quickly gets onto the nearest second turnbuckle, facing the audience. There, he takes off his jacket and makes it seem like he will throw the crowd the jacket before casually dropping it on the floor next to the ring, much to their disappointment. Aidan takes one last moment to assess the crowd before jumping down from the corner. He is now ready to compete.~
Belvedere: From Hell’s Kitchen, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 225lbs…he is the FUTURE of OCW…ladies and gentlemen please welcome, making his Massacre debut…“King Infinity” Aidan Collins!!!
~Collins keeps his focus on OGDA. OGDA may be goofy but he’s no Jack Puffer. OGDA removes his belt and hands it to Belvedere, who exits the ring. The bell sounds! The crowd returns to their earlier chanting of “OGDA”! He’s the most over faceless face we’ve seen thus far this evening!~
Smith: And here we go! Can the supposed new ‘FACE’ of OCW defeat OGDA or will the current Craze Champion derail King Infinity’s path to the top?
Hood: If OGDA wins, I riot
Smith: Really?
Hood: Yes. I will flip this announce table over and throw your papers all over the place
Smith: Please don’t. These papers contain my notes.
~Collins and OGDA meet in the middle of the ring. The arrogance of King Infinity is on full display. He looks at his opponent with disdain. OGDA, however, doesn’t seem bothered by Aidan’s dismissive aura. Instead, OGDA seems envigorated by the crowd’s approval of his presence. He nods his head along with their chanting of his name. Aidan reaches up and pie faces OGDA. The crowd BOOS heavily. OGDA charges forward, driving his shoulder into Aidan’s midsection and bullying him into a corner. He begins to ram his shoulder repeatedly into the midsection of King Infinity~
Smith: And we’re off! Aidan Collins might have made a mistake in angering OGDA
Hood: He was all “get this goofy mother fucker out of my face” and, you know, I can’t say I blame him
Smith: And what about OGDA is so ‘goofy’?
Hood: He calls his championship ‘Belty.’ Game, set, match
~Collins grows tired of having this giant man ram his shoulder into his abdomen. So he reaches down and snares OGDA’s head, locking it under his arm. Like a wild animal, OGDA fights to get free and winds up dragging Collins out of the corner, around the ring. Feeling uneasy over the lack of control, Collins reaches with his free arm and rakes at the eye holes in OGDA’s mask! This slows OGDA down tremendously. Aidan lifts a few knees into the chest and sternum of OGDA, further weakening the big man. Collins leans back and locks in a full Guillotine. He’s got it deep and is looking to choke OGDA out~
Smith: King Infinity with a guillotine choke! I have to admit that this man continues to impress with his wide range of impactful maneuvers
Hood: He’s King Infinity. That means everything he does is limitless
Smith: Nobody is that good
Hood: Syren was that good. Meyhu is that good. King Infinity will be that good.
~Scruff checks on OGDA. Is he out? He looks out. Scruff grabs OGDA by the arm and raises it in the air. He lets it drop. OGDA suddenly fires up! The crowd resumes their position backing this crazy man. His body shakes and he fights to his feet. King Infinity holds on for dear life assuming that increased pressure on his throat would, in theory, slow the guy down. However…this is no ordinary man. This is OGDA! He’s on his feet…he stands upright and he tosses King Infinity into the air!! Collins releases the guillotine…he flies into the air and comes crashing down, front first onto the mat!! The crowd goes wild!! King Infinity rolls around, holding his abdomen in pain. OGDA rolls his head around, rubbing his neck~
Smith: What a move! What power!
Hood: Retard strength, Smith
Smith: Hey! There will be none of that talk around here, Hood! This is 2018!
Hood: Blow me
~Aidan doesn’t stay down long. He returns to his feet. OGDA charges and takes Aidan down with a shoulder block! Aidan returns to his feet and is once again dropped with a shoulder tackle. He gets to his feet a third time and is dropped yet again with a shoulder tackle!! Aidan returns to his feet, near the ropes. OGDA charges forward…Aidan leans back and slips through the ropes, avoiding OGDA. He drops off the apron, to the floor, landing on his feet. OGDA manages to pull up before crashing into the ropes. The crowd boos Aidan’s avoidance of OGDA~
Hood: I don’t know what the fuck these fans are booing…that was a smart move
Smith: Oh come on, Hood! He’s avoiding competition
Hood: He’s avoiding a muscle headed freak with a brain the size of skittle
Smith: A skittle?
Hood: Yes…a purple skittle. The worst skittle.
~OGDA flies through the ropes. Aidan’s eyes widen. The big man can move. Aidan takes off. OGDA gives chase. They turn a corner. OGDA basically leaps over the steps to make up ground. Aidan slides into the ring, realizing that OGDA is catching up. He reaches his feet in the ring. OGDA slides into the ring behind Aidan. Aidan hits the ropes. OGDA gets to one knee. Aidan sprints at OGDA and he drops kicks OGDA in the head!! OGDA rolls over, toward the corner, holding his head in pain. King Infinity returns to his feet to a chorus of boos. He looks out at the fans as if to say, “Idiots.” Before refocusing on the Craze Champion~
Smith: We are seeing a new facet of King Infinity’s repertoire. Against Alice and Puffer he was physically superior, strength wise. Tonight, however, he suffers a disadvantage, physically…as just about anyone would against OGDA. So, he’s forced to use his speed and in-ring acumen to gain and maintain an advantage.
Hood: In other words he’s a fuckin badass
Smith: I’ve never denied the man’s ability. I just think he should win a few matches and accomplish a few things before being anointed as the FACE of this company
Hood: Yea and you support Alice Knight. You clearly have poor judgment
~King Infinity goes right back after OGDA. He pulls the Craze Champion up and shoves him into a corner. He knees him in the abdomen. He bends over and hooks OGDA around the waist. The fans start to buzz. He drags OGDA out of the corner, lifts him up and drops him with a Northern Lights Suplex!! He rotates his hips and looks to hit another one~
Smith: Triple rolling Northern Lights Suplex! We’ve seen King Infinity hit this in every match he’s had thus far. Can he pull it off on a man the size of OGDA?
Hood: One down, two to go!
~Collins gets to his feet and lifts OGDA up dropping him with the second Northern Light Suplex!! The ring shakes with impact. Collins is slower to get up after the second. The weight of OGDA is much harder to manipulate than his previous two opponents. He struggles to his feet, with OGDA still locked into position. He gets up, takes a moment, catches his breath and lifts OGDA. He struggles. It appears as though his legs nearly give but he manages to get OGDA up and over with the third Northern Lights Suplex!! He foregoes bridging and, instead, hovers over for the standard cover. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Kick out by OGDA! The 3-Some will not keep the Craze Champion down. Not tonight!
Hood: He’s not down with a threesome, apparently. Must be an orgy guy
Smith: Wouldn’t a threesome be considered an orgy?
Hood: Only if you’re a minimalist pussy
~King Infinity gets to his feet, clearly fatigued from tossing OGDA around three consecutive times. He leans against the ropes, filling his lungs with oxygen. OGDA, meanwhile, returns to his feet, staggering around. Collins, as temporarily winded as he is, sees an opportunity. He waits. OGDA turns and Aidan charges toward him with a spear!!! OGDA moves!! King Infinity hits the ropes, bounces off and is cut in half by a spear from OGDA!!! The crowd goes wild!!! Collins is down!! OGDA pops back to his feet, fired up~
Smith: What a spear!! OGDA is now in full control!
Hood: Son of a WHORE! C’mon, King Infinity…it’s too early for you to lose!
Smith: OGDA is the Craze Champion! It’s not like he’s chopped liver
Hood: You ever think livers developed a complex over that idiom?
Smith: I doubt it
~He steps through the ropes, onto the apron. He’s looking for Wrath of the Rainbow!! OGDA is poised, ready to pounce. Collins sits up. It causes him a great deal of pain to do so. He gets to his feet. OGDA leaps up. He springboards off the top and soars through the air with a flying forearm. King Infinity drops to the mat to avoid being hit! OGDA flies over Collins and hits the mat, performing a tuck and roll. Collins returns to his feet. OGDA pops back to his. OGDA places a fist to his forehead and yells out “NAWHAL!!!” He charges at Collins. Aidan drop kicks OGDA in the knee, taking him down before he can make contact!! OGDA falls to the mat, holding his knee in pain. The fans boo loudly~
Smith: That jerk! He could have blown the man’s knee out!
Hood: Oh so I guess he should have just stood there and taken a running fist into the face?
Smith: You know what I mean
Hood: Clearly I don’t
~OGDA struggles back to his feet. He’s limping noticeably. King Infinity throws a bicycle kick at OGDA, drilling him in the face!! OGDA wobbles into the ropes. He suddenly shoots off the ropes with a burst of energy and lunges toward Collins with a Slingblade! But Collisn manages to avoid getting caught in the move. Instead, he’s able to grab OGDA’s arm, spin him around and drop him with a ripcord discus lariat (Hell’s Kaleidoscope)!!! OGDA hits the mat and appears to be out! King Infinity rushes over for the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….“KING INFINITY” AIDAN COLLINS!!!!!
Smith: Dang it! OGDA was about to hit Slingblade and, well…
Hood: King Infinity struck! The man is truly something!
Smith: I really thought OGDA had it there for a minute
Hood: And that’s why you shouldn’t follow superheroes. In real life they always let you down
Smith: A strong showing from OGDA, regardless. As much as I loathe this undeserved push I must admit that Aidan Collins has all the tools to be one of the best in OCW. OGDA stood toe to toe with King Infinity and nearly came away with the win.
Hood: Yea and the guy still gets to keep “Belty” or whatever the fuck he calls it, so he’s got that going for him
Smith: I’m sure OGDA will bounce back…he’s going to have to because he will be forced to defend his Craze Championship very soon.
Hood: Yea but he’ll be facing a woman so he won’t have much to worry about
Smith: RUDE
~Andrea Hernandez is in a rather pissed off mood as she makes her way down the hallway backstage at Massacre. She’s walking by everyone in sight when she reaches someone’s door. The camera gets a glimpse of it, revealing to be the office of Marcus Welsh. She knocks on it, but doesn’t get an answer. Persistent, she knocks on it again, hearing “come in” from the other side. Taking a deep breath, Andrea opens the door, walks in and looks right in the eyes of the general manager~
Andrea: We need to talk…
~Welsh sighs. He’s never been a fan of his ‘employees’ making demands. But, Andrea is a hot commodity and extremely talented so he lets it slide. He drops his pen and leans back in his chair. Welsh extends his hands, palms up and replies~
Marcus Welsh: Okay, talk.
Andrea: First off… I thought you didn't like Mack O'Connor, yet, you're letting him get away with what he did and what he said last week? Look, I appreciate the title opportunity tonight, but that is not going to fix what happened at Serial Thrillers. And secondly, why wasn't I chosen as a team captain? Honestly, nobody has even approached me to be on their team. I'm not happy with what is going on lately. You're just going to let it all slide? You don't think I am good enough for a rematch against Mack so you try to make up for it with this match? It's not going to cut it.
~Welsh takes his hands and places them behind his head, leaning back even further. He can’t help but laugh~
Marcus Welsh: Wow, you do someone a favor - a kindness and this is what you get in return.
~Welsh shakes his head before leaning forward in a more serious manner~
Marcus Welsh: I don’t like Mack, Andrea. I think the past two years are evidence of that. One thing i do like, however, is my GM position. I need Mack in order to retain this position I hold so near and dear. Mack will pay for what he did, don’t worry. But not right now. Not before Death March. As far as captains go, well you can thank your and everyone else’s beloved Zybala for that. He’s the guy who thought naming Ed Houston and OGDA were good ideas. He’s the one who bypassed your name. Not me.
~Welsh looks down at his desk. A sheet listing the team captains just happens to be within his eyesight. He taps the sheet with his hand~
Marcus Welsh: You say nobody has asked you to be a part of their team, right? Well you’ve got this main event tonight that you seem bitter to have received. I say rather than look at it as a deviation from your Paradigm revenge you should view it as an opportunity. An opportunity to defeat Hellraven, get back on the winning track and make those captains take notice.
Andrea: And what? Just move on like nothing happened, especially when he admitted he broke the rules of the match? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. I will fight this match tonight against Hellraven, that has never been a question. But again, this isn’t going to magically erase what happened at Serial Thrillers. I’m fighting this match because I’m the type of person that will always do what’s best for OCW… which is more than what I can say for you to be honest…
Marcus Welsh: What are you talking about? Everything I do is for the betterment of this company. If OCW falls into the hands of Mike Zybala. If Zybala becomes the GM then you can say goodbye to OCW. Instead of the Paradigm Championship we’ll have a Power Ranger belt. It’d be madness!
~Welsh tries to relax~
Marcus Welsh: Listen, I can tell you’re upset. We all know Mack bent the rules, slightly at Serial Thrillers. I can’t...or, rather, won’t go back and change that. I also won’t put Mack in a position to be injured or professionally compromised with so much on the line at Death March. This was the best I could do for you, Andrea. Which is something you fail to see. Now you can either get on board with it. You can share my vision for what’s best. Or, you can step aside and play on one of Zybala’s teams which will lead to certain downfall.
Andrea: I hate to break it to you, but I don’t care about this crap between you and Zybala. I didn’t come here to be part of some civil war power struggle. So, I’m going to do what’s best for me in this match tonight and that’s all I am going to focus on for right now.
~Andrea turns, beginning to make her exit. Welsh does a mocking imitation of Andrea’s final words, saying, “I’m going to focus on me, blah blah blah.” It’s quiet enough to prevent Andrea from hearing him. Greg, however, seated in the corner this entire time can’t help but laugh. Andrea turns around, glaring at Welsh.~
Andrea: Excuse me?
Marcus Welsh: Nothing, nothing at all. Good luck in your match tonight.
Andrea: Sure, thanks…
~Andrea turns, leaving the office~
Smith: She's upset and, quite frankly, who could blame her? She deserves a rematch against Mack.
Hood: Good things come to those who wait, Smith. She'll get that rematch only AFTER Death March
Smith: So why this match against Hellraven for a shot at the Craze Title?
Hood: Weren't you fucking listening? This is his way of making up for 'saving' Mack. My gosh. You give a woman an inch and she demands a fucking mile. Geezus.
Smith: Well I don't think that's necessarily true. I just think Andrea is feeling a little left out at the moment. Hopefully, after tonight, that will all change
~”Kickstart my Heart” by Mötley Crüe hits and Mario Maurako makes his way to the ring to a thunderous ovation from the OCW faithfull. Mario is sporting a red suit, black button down shirt, and a red tie, and slaps a few hands on his way to the ring. He grabs a microphone from ringside and then enters the ring, looking a little solemn.~
Mario Maurako: Wow. Man, have things changed around here over the last several years. There was a time where if I was asked to captain a team that the team would’ve been put together within seconds, and it would be a dominant team. But that’s not where we are today.
Death March is a few short weeks away, and today I stand before all of you with zero teammates named. I’ve talked to quite a few people already who were influential in my career, and I’m not having a whole lot of luck. But I still have a few unreturned messages and I remain committed with finding the perfect partners, and putting together the best team humanly possible.
So, I’d like to announce right here and now that I’m accepting applications to anyone who is willing to fight the good fight with me. Wanting to devastate Aidan Collins and knock him down a few notches gives you several bonus points.
~Maurako waits. He waits. And, he waits. The crowd seems sad. This is borderline embarrassing. The awkward, silence speaks volumes~
Smith: Anybody?
Hood: Shit. I feel like I should head down there and take him up on his offer…only to tell him after we go off the air that I can’t make it.
Smith: What a guy
~Mario lowers his head. The crowd chants for him, trying to cheer him up. Suddenly, “Obsession” by Animotion hits! The crowd pops because it’s a good song. However, we have no idea to whom this song belongs~
Smith: Huh? What?
Hood: FINALLY! It may have taken all damn show but our first big surprise of the evening!
~The crowd starts to BOOOOO heavily as we see MARCUS WELSH emerge from the back~
Smith: What? I didn’t think he had any music!
Hood: Sounds like he finally decided to remedy that glaring omission
~Welsh remains at the top of the ramp with a mic in hand. He’s got Knux at his side~
Marcus Welsh: Cool song, right? I’m not the only one out here old enough to appreciate pre-millennia music. I like to think that song sums up how I feel about OCW and my GM position. I will do ANYTHING to keep this job.
Smith: A bit much
Hood: Yea, the lyrics to that song are out there, man
Marcus Welsh: Nobody enjoys seeing a legend overstay their welcome, Mario. I have to say I almost felt sorry for you just now, watching you in that ring facing public rejection. Sad. So, how about we put an end to this ill fated comeback tour of yours. How about I offer you an honorary OCW Title reign. I’ll put it on your resume, forever filling that gigantic hole you pine over. The only thing you have to do in return is lay down for King Infinity at Death March. That’s it.
~The crowd BOOOOOS. Maurako goes to speak, only to discover his mic has been cut~
Marcus Welsh: No, no, no, this isn’t a negotiation. You will accept this deal, Mario. It’s the only way you’ll ever have that OCW Title reign listed on your resume.
~Welsh walks down the ramp, feeling empowered. Knux remains by his side~
Marcus Welsh: C’mon, Mario! You saw King Infinity earlier this evening. You can’t beat him! I don’t think you could have beat the guy back when you were in your prime, let alone now! Give it up, man. Take this once in a lifetime offer before it’s too late.
Smith: I’m starting to wonder if our GM doesn’t have some type of infomercial salesman background
Hood: Look out…SECOND SLAPCHOP REFERENCE OF THE EVENING
Marcus Welsh: You need further convincing? Alright then. How about Total Demolition, 2014. You were tasked with leading a team of five. It was the last time you were put in charge of a team. And, what happened? YOU FAILED. I mean, not only did you fail…you failed impressively. Your team was wiped out 5-0 in that match.
~The crowd boos once again. Mario stands in the ring, staring Welsh down. Knux has reached the ring and is staring up at Mario, ready to pounce should the Hall of Famer try anything~
Smith: For those of you at home who weren’t around in 2014…Maurako didn’t participate in that match. Sure, it’s true that he was in charge of leading a team into WarGames that got swept. But he was kidnapped in the back of a mobster’s limo, if memory serves. The entire team fell apart after that.
Hood: That’s what started the downfall of Dean, isn’t it?
Smith: Yep. Jimmy Buffett was so angry that Dean let the main event fall apart he put Lurrr in charge of OCW. OCW was never the same after that match.
Hood: So Mario took down Dean. WAY TO GO MARIO
Marcus Welsh: Take the deal, Mario. I won’t extend such an offer again.
~Mario looks out into the crowd. They are unanimous. They yell out “FUCK NO!” Mario’s chest heaves as he sucks down a large gulp of air. It appears he’s about to make a drastic move when ”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy hits! The crowd goes WILD! Mario perks up. Welsh turns and looks at the stage with disgust. Knux keeps his eyes on Mario. ALICE KNIGHT emerges from the back with a helmet on! She flaps her arms as the crowd continues to go wild. A shit load of HOOTING ensues! Alice then decides to do some weird, goofy dance. While doing it she reveals a microphone. Welsh grits his teeth~
Alice Knight: Total Demolition? I remember that! I was on team Brianna! Haha, good times!
~The crowd pops for the Casablancas reference. Alice focuses on Mario~
Alice Knight: We weren’t very friendly back then, were we, Mario? That’s okay! People change, I know, I’ve seen it. I used to live on the streets. Now I like to think of the streets as my vacation home.
Marcus Welsh: Get to the point, PLEASE
~Alice frowns at Welsh with her finger over her lip, making a mustache. Welsh looks like he wants to throw his mic at her. But, then he’d lose the power to talk over everyone. So he refrains. Alice heads down the ramp and pats Knux on the back. He scowls down at Alice. She laughs and rolls into the ring, standing next to Mario. A huge “OWL IS NIGHT” chant is ongoing~
Alice Knight: The old Mario would NEVER have saved me. But this new Mario, he did. This new Mario is an okay guy. The kind of guy that might take in a stray cat…or, maybe, five stray cats??
~Alice looks at Mario as if asking if he’d take some cats off her hands. Mario politely declines~
Alice Knight: That’s okay. Nobody is perfect. The point I’m making here is when I needed help, Mario was there for me. And, now, Mario needs help. So, Mario Maurako, hopeful new buddy of mine. I’m here to take you up on that offer. I’ll wrestle for Team Maurako!
~The crowd goes wild!! A resounding ‘YES!’ chant fills the OCW Arena. Mario tries to suppress a smile. Alice flaps her arms and lets out a loud HOOT! Welsh’s face is flushed with anger. He tries to speak, but pauses when he sees Mario pick Alice up! The crowd goes silent~
Smith: Wait a minute…is he…
Hood: Yes! Guy is totally redeeming himself!
~Mario throws Alice over the top rope at Knux! She grabs Knux by the head and drops him with a Tornado DDT!!!! Knux is OUT! The crowd goes back to cheering and HOOTING. Alice pops back to her feet and salutes Mario who hops out of the ring. The two embrace with Mario holding Alice’s hand high in the air~
Smith: Yes! Alice is on Team Maurako! Oh man…that had me startled for a moment
Hood: You suck, Mario! You fucking loser! Go back to Italy ya jerk!
Marcus Welsh: That is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made, Mario! You will regret this moment…you will rue the day that…
~Welsh suddenly realizes he has no protection. Mario and Alice stand at the bottom of the ramp, looking him dead in the eye. Welsh slowly backs away before turning and running from the two Hall of Famers. Welsh sprints through the curtain, nearly falling on his ass. Mario and Alice turn back to the crowd. The crowd is on fire! WHAT A TEAM!~
Smith: Okay…two Hall of Famers on one team. King Infinity has his work cut out for him
Hood: Fucking Alice Knight…SHE RUINS EVERYTHING, SMITH
Smith: She may have just saved Mario’s career! Good for her! Way to go, Alice!
Hood: Ugh, cut to the back or something. I need to say some horrible things that shouldn’t be aired
Smith: Oh dear…yes, let’s cut to the back this instant!
~The screen flashes to darkness, then a moment of static, and then to the image of Marcus Welsh in his office in the back. He’s frantic after the incident with Alice and Maurako. Greg looks on, concerned~
Marcus Welsh: Lock the doors! Something bad is heading our way!
Greg: Oh relax you silly goose! Mario and Alice won’t come back here.
Marcus Welsh: I don’t have protection. I need protection!
Greg: Oh NOW you want to use protection
Marcus Welsh: Greg…
~Welsh glares at Greg. He doesn’t see the humor in any of this. His attention suddenly goes to the door as it swings open. Welsh braces for impact. OCW Hall of Famer The Big Bifford, looking to be about 400lbs, walks in followed by what appears to be a man in a giant seal costume. Welsh instantly recognizes Bifford. He backs up to his desk and takes a seat behind it. He’s anxious, nervous, even. But, the man tries his best to not look weak in front of one of OCW’s most legendary performers~
Hood: Holy shit, Bifford's back.
Smith: Oh for the love of....
Bifford: Dean. Listen..
Marcus: It's been three years since Dea-
Bifford: Dean, I've been thinking... It's unfair that I've been OCW Champion since 2001 and haven't defended my title since 2002..
Marcus: You're not OCW Cha-
~Bifford reaches for the man in the giant seal costume who hands him a championship belt that appears to be constructed out of duct tape and sweetener packets from a restaurant.~
Bifford: Dean, 16 years without a title defense is just too long... It's unfair to the other wrestlers like Silver Cyanide, Scott Syren, and Homeboy.
Marcus: Well Syren already... but you're not.. and none of those-
Bifford: Dean, you look really pale, dude... gotta get out in the sun more, we're in freaking Florida, bro... which is why I'm thinking I'd like a little change of scenery... so maybe I'll put up my OCW Championship in this Bath March thing you're doing in Canada...
~Marcus just stares at Bifford for a moment, not sure if he's messing with him or not. Bifford motions to the guy in the seal costume.~
Bifford: Dean, you remember Otis the Seal, right? Actually I think he used to be a real seal and was named something else, but shit that's expensive and I'm on a fixed income...
~Bifford just stares at Marcus with a completely straight face, Marcus stares back like he has no idea how to take this. Meanwhile the sound of Hood laughing can be heard.~
Hood: Please just make Bifford Champion right now... this is just gold...
Bifford: Anyway... just put me in this Bath March... any match... I'll be fine and I'll defend my title with honor...
Marcus: I'm trying to get rid of nostalgia acts like y-
Bifford: Dean,..
Marcus: I'm not-
Bifford: As OCW Champion...
Marcus: You're not OCW Champion... Matt Meyhu is OC-
Bifford: As OCW Champion it is my right to be granted three wishes each year on the 12th of November...
~Marcus stares on in disbelief.~
Bifford: My first wish is a pastrami sandwich... my second wish is for you to be a sassy black man again... my third wish is for a match with Silverfreak... or if he's not around just a match defending my title at this Bath March...
~The guy in the seal costume hands Bifford a pastrami sandwich that seems to come out of nowhere. Bifford takes a big bite out of it.~
Marcus: First of all... that isn't the Championship, that's duct tape and sweetener packets.. second, it's not Bath March... it's Death-
~Bifford listens to Marcus as he chews and swallows but then interrupts him.~
Bifford: Dean... my wishes... make them come true, SUCKA!
~Not waiting for Marcus to reply, Bifford hands the "OCW Championship" to the man in the seal costume and, with sandwich in hand, walks out of the office. As they walk out the distant sound of Bifford asking where catering is can be heard. Welsh looks over at Greg, who is dumbfounded~
Marcus Welsh: Would you please lock the door, Greg? I don’t think I can handle anymore OCW Hall of Famers tonight. I’ve had my fill.
Greg: That Dean guy ran a strange company.
~Greg triple locks the door to Welsh’s office. Marcus lowers his head, placing his forehead on the desk. He’s done. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Bifford is back! He just became the hottest Free Agent on the market!
Hood: Fuckin Bifford. How is that guy still alive?
Smith: Bifford defies the very definition of logic so I’m sure he’ll live to be a hundred a twenty.
Hood: Syren is back. Bifford is back. Maurako is back. Alice is still alive. The end times are near, Smith
Smith: I have to think Bifford will take a liking to Zybala once he figures out who he is. That would make Bifford a likely candidate for one of Zybala’s captains to recruit
Hood: Okay. Here’s what we need to do
Smith: I’m listening
Hood: We need to send Cap Slock out to buy a shit load of hams. And I’m talking a SHIT LOAD of hams. We then instruct Cap Slock to place a trail of hams, starting at the door leading into and out of the backstage area. Have the trail lead far, far away from the OCW Arena. Then lead Bifford to the beginning of the trail. That way we can be rid of him once and for all
Smith: It seems he’s into pastrami these days. Perhaps his fondness for ham no longer exists
Hood: It’s Bifford. He’ll always have a fondness for ham
Smith: I’m just glad Dangerous Dan isn’t around anymore
Hood: Hmm…you know what, you might have been onto something with his new love of pastrami. So instead of hams we’ll just create a trail of Dangerous Dan posters. It’d be way cheaper. In fact, I think people just give those away these days
Smith: I happened to like Dan. He didn’t deserve Bifford’s treatment. But that’s no longer relevant. Dan is off living his plotless soap opera life elsewhere. The fact remains that Biff is back…he thinks he’s champion, he loves pastrami, he still wants to face SiLVeRFReaK and, well, he will be at Death March.
Hood: Curt needs to pick him up. GO GET EM CURT!
Smith: Well folks…it’s been a wild night. I can’t believe some of the things I’ve seen. Especially that last bit. But, it’s all led to our main event. Andrea Hernandez and Hellraven are set to do battle for the right to face OGDA for his Craze Championship. Let’s head down to ringside.
|
|
#1 Contender Craze Championship
Andrea Hernandez (5-2) vs. Hellraven (4-4)
~It’s Main Event time and this crowd is READY! Two of their favorites are set to wage WAR against one another in the hope of facing OGDA for his Craze Championship. The crowd seems to be split. Andrea’s name is being chanted. Hellraven’s name is being screamed. The two competitors are over with this crowd. Belvedere clears his throat to a massive ovation. Never in OCW history has a throat been this over~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! This match is scheduled for one fall and the winner will go on to face OGDA for the OCW Craze Championship!!! Introducing first…
~The sounds of a thunderstorm echo across the arena speakers as purplish-blue spotlights come to life near the entrance ramp. At their centre, head down, arms folded, is a tall and slender figure, their long hair falling forward onto their face and partially obscuring it.~
~The figure remains in this position until a moment later, when the rainstorm transitions into the iconic opening guitar lead to Slayer's 'Raining Blood'. At the same time as this transition occurs, the blue spotlights go out, leaving the house lights to illuminate what is now clearly seen to be a young woman. As the riff begins, she uncrosses her arms, holding them out to each side in a double show of the metal horns as she indulges in a spot of headbanging~
~Then, as the legendary lead gives way to mid-tempo riffing, the girl makes her way down the ramp, keeping her focus on the ring but not neglecting the occasional outstretched hand in her path. Once at ringside, she scales the steel steps and lets herself in through the middle rope. From there, she makes her way across the mat to the furthest turnbuckle and slumps down into a seated position, her arms resting on her knees~
Belvedere: From Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’7 and weighing in at 130lbs…Hellraven!!!
Smith: Hellraven is coming off the biggest win of her OCW career at Serial Thrillers when she derailed Vossler.
Hood: Don’t remind me!
Smith: Many people think Vossler was the one originally slated for this slot. His loss to Hellraven prevented him from challenging for the Craze Title.
Hood: Vossler should be the Craze Champion RIGHT NOW. But, that’s okay. In due time. I will give Hellraven credit, she never gives up.
Smith: Indeed. She’s a fighter through and through and she’ll need every ounce of her fighting spirit tonight if she hopes to defeat the former Paradigm Champion, Andrea Hernandez.
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~“Ultranumb” by Blue Stahli hits the venue’s soundwaves. Andrea appears on the stage to some strong cheers from the crowd. She acknowledges the positive reaction that she's getting as she makes her way toward the ring, completely focused on the task at hand. She gets up to the ring apron and uses the top rope to slingshot herself into it, continuing to soak in the cheers she gets as she leans against the corner, confidently waiting for the match to begin~
Belvedere: From Sedona, Arizona…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Paradigm Champion…Andrea Hernandez!!!
~Belvedere calmly exits. The bell sounds. Raven stands up and locks eyes with Hernandez, who appears ready to go. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation of this contest~
Smith: And here we go! You have to give the edge to Andrea given her track record here in OCW
Hood: Yea, she’s the favorite.
Smith: But so was Vossler and…
Hood: STOP BRINGING THAT UP! You’re pissing me off
Smith: Fine! Hellraven seems to be carving out a career as the underdog here in OCW. Can she overcome the odds and prevent Andrea from returning to the title scene?
Hood: Maybe…but you know Andrea is focused. Nobody likes losing their belt. She was all set to beat Mack and just fell short. A win tonight would help ease the pain of that wound
Smith: Nothing gets a person over a tough loss quicker than a big win
~Hellraven and Hernandez simultaneously rush toward one another, meeting in the middle of the ring with a flurry of right hands! The crowd is on their feet cheering the unbridled passion for bare knuckled brawling. Hellraven seems to be getting the better of Andrea. She’s getting two punches to land compared to one for the former Paradigm Champion. Andrea, sensing the feral minded Hellraven gaining an advantage, ducks one of Hellraven’s blows! Hellraven turns around and is met with a vicious knife edged chop across the chest!! Hellraven stumbles backward into a corner, clutching her chest. Andrea rushes in and delivers a second knife edged chop, this one worse than the first. Hellraven leans forward, wincing in pain. Andrea grabs her by the hair, straightens her up, reaches back and delivers a knife edged chop that rises all the way into Raven’s throat! Hellraven staggers out of the corner, grasping at her throat and coughing. The crowd seems to be turning on Andrea as a slight smattering of boos can be heard~
Smith: Andrea Hernandez is off to a vicious start. She’s releasing a lot of that frustration that’s built up since Serial Thrillers
Hood: I like this new Andrea Hernandez.
Smith: You would. Hellraven got off to a fast start but is currently in some considerable pain. However, if anybody can bounce back from a rough start it’s Hellraven
Hood: Ugh…I’m really hoping her throat or larynx or vocal cords or WHATEVER were crushed with that third chop. I’m so sick of hearing ‘fam’
~Andrea walks up from behind the genuflecting Hellraven and kicks her right in the back of the head! Raven’s head snaps forward. Her body slams into the mat, front first. Andrea stomps on Hellraven’s back, keeping her grounded. The displeasure from the crowd grows after each kick~
Smith: Oh come on, Andrea! Don’t give in to the hate. Rise above it!
Hood: Let that hate eat you up! Let it drive you to be successful.
Smith: Such terrible advice
Hood: Nobody hates more things in this life than Mack O’Connor and, well, if I’m not mistake he knocked Andrea out at Serial Thrillers
~Andrea secures Raven by the waist and attempts to dead lift her off the mat. Raven wiggles and fights, realizing she’s in a bad way and manages to plant her feet onto the mat. She bends at the knees to leverage her weight against Andrea’s strength. Andrea releases waist control and clobbers Raven on the back with three forearms. Raven’s base is weakened. Andrea regains waist control and hoists Raven up, dropping her with a German Suplex!! Andrea pops back to her feet. Raven is on her shoulders, almost folded in half with her legs near her ears. Andrea arrogantly kicks Raven’s body, sending her tumbling roughly back onto her front~
Smith: There is such disdain in the body language and offensive philosophy of Andrea Hernandez. She’s definitely wounded
Hood: A wounded animal is a dangerous animal, Smith. Unless that animal is a fly
Smith: I don’t consider flies to be animals. They are disgusting insects
Hood: Man you just buried the entire nation of flies here on OCW Television. Talk eliminating a huge demographic. There’s got to be trillions of flies out there
~Andrea grabs a hand full of Raven’s hair, yanks back and drives Raven face first into the mat. She snares Raven by the hair again and pulls up, bringing Hellraven to her feet. She motions for an Irish Whip…but Raven reverses it into a Small Package!! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: The kid nearly stunned Andrea Hernandez!
Hood: Well I guess it’s time to start taking her more seriously
Smith: Who? You, or Andrea?
Hood: Haha, definitely not me
~Andrea kicks out and is back to her feet quickly. She’s annoyed and agitated. Raven tries getting to her feet but is me with a kick to the face! Hellraven falls back, holding her face in pain. Andrea leaps into the air and drops an elbow across the throat of Hellraven. She remains on the ground, punching at the head of her opponent. She returns to her feet having regained control of the match~
Smith: Andrea has controlled this match from start to finish since the bell rang.
Hood: Yea it’s like watching a big brother whip his little brother. I know Andrea isn’t old but she’s got more experience than Hellraven
Smith: Indeed. Hellraven is going to need to rely on some of that blissful ignorance inexperience breeds if she wants to come back in this one
Hood: True. She doesn’t know enough to realize that she has almost zero chance to win this thing
~Andrea steps through the ropes. She’s on the apron, waiting for Hellraven. Hellraven is slowly getting to her feet. Andrea waits and waits. Finally, Raven is on her feet. Andrea leaps up and springboards off the top rope, flying at Hellraven with an attempted Tornado DDT. Hellraven, though, counters by dropping Andrea on the way down with a jawbreaker!!! Andrea stumbles back, falls through the ropes and lands on the outside! The crowd pops for the unexpected counter! Hellraven lays on her back, still reeling from the punishment she’s received~
Smith: What a counter! The kid is doing it again! She won’t stay down she won’t give up!
Hood: She’s so fucking annoying
Smith: Andrea might be knocked out! Hellraven could be moments away from earning a shot at OGDA’s Craze Championship!
Hood: That’s if she’ll get her lazy ass up and off the mat. Kids these days, AMIRITE?!
~Hellraven does, in fact, get her ‘lazy’ ass off the mat. She leans into the ropes and looks down at Andrea, who is beginning to stir. Raven fires up. She takes off across the ring. Andrea reaches her feet on the outsize, still trying to digest what’s taken place. Hellraven hits the ropes, bounces off and charges toward the side of the ring nearest Andrea. She LEAPS through the ropes with a suicide dive, torpedoing right into the upper body of Andrea (head first)! Andrea’s body slams back into the barricade!! Hellraven lands roughly. She didn’t get her legs or arms down in time to protect her fall (the kid was too eager to inflict punishment). She rolls around, holding her stomach and chest in pain while Andrea remains up thanks to the support of the barricade~
Smith: What a move! The kid is laying it all on the line
Hood: Enjoy moves like that now, kid. It’s easy to bounce back from shit like that when you’re, like, eighteen
Smith: Indeed. If, say, Mack were to do what Hellraven just did…he’d probably have a few broken bones
Hood: You trying to say Mack hates milk?
Smith: I would never insinuate that!
~Andrea stands upright and reaches for her back. Hellraven crawls toward the side of the ring and uses the apron cloth for support while she stands. She gets to her feet and leans against the apron. Andrea runs toward Hellraven with a knee. Hellraven moves and Andrea’s knee CRASHES into the edge of the apron! She reaches for her knee, limping around. Hellraven grabs Andrea from behind and tosses her back into the ring, under the bottom rope~
Smith: Hellraven taking this thing back inside the ring. She is looking for a definitive win
Hood: I would have taken the count out. This kid still has some growing up to do
Smith: You’d always take the count out
Hood: And that makes me stupid because?
Smith: It makes his a coward!
Hood: You ever notice the average life span of a coward is like twice as long as the average life span of a hero?
~Raven is back in the ring. Andrea gets to her feet. Raven is already standing. Raven spins around and lunges at Andrea with a discus lariat!! Andrea DUCKS!! Raven stumbles forward! Andrea limps into a corner, turning around, breathing heavily. Raven spins around and charges at Andrea with a Corner Yakuza Kick! Andrea ducks again!!! Raven’s leg gets caught up in the ropes! Andrea grabs her from behind and tosses her with a release Tiger Suplex!!! Raven hits hard!!! Andrea sits up, slapping at her knee to get some feeling back into it. The crowd is on their feet but feeling slightly crestfallen after all of Hellraven’s near misses~
Smith: What a sequence! Hellraven tried to hit Andrea with Quoth the Raven AND Nevermore. Andrea, however, managed to avoid both moves
Hood: Man I thought we were seeing a replay of the Vossler match. So glad Andrea’s still in this.
Smith: So you’re team Andrea?
Hood: Haven’t you heard? Andrea doesn’t have a team
Smith: That’s cold
~Hernandez rolls under the bottom rope to the apron. She gets to her feet. Hellraven is still down. Andrea bends her knee and shakes it. It feels stable enough. She jumps up and springboards off the top rope, flipping into the air and landing on top of Hellraven with Sky High!!! The crowd pops for the move in spite of who they’ve been pulling for the entire match. Hernandez makes the cover. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the #1 Contender for the OCW Craze Championship….ANDREA HERNANDEZ!!!!!
Smith: Huge win for Andrea Hernandez! She’s back on the winning side of things
Hood: Yea she may not have received the match she wanted but she went out there and handled business. That’s the sign of a true professional
Smith: Indeed and as for Hellraven…it was a very gutsy effort. She nearly pulled it off but, sadly, was unable to defeat the former Paradigm Champion
Hood: The kid has fight, there’s no denying that. Now if she could just harness that energy into a more focused direction she’d start winning these types of matches
Smith: I couldn’t agree more
Hood: Then again she’s from Pine Bluff, Arkansas so she’s probably about to develop a hardcore meth habit and pop out six and a half kids.
Smith: Let’s hope that’s not her future…not that there’s, ya know, anything wrong with that
Hood: Nah, Meth is a great life choice
Smith: So now we look toward the eventual Andrea Hernandez, OGDA Craze Championship match. Thoughts?
Hood: That’s going to be a tough one for the goofy ass superhero. Belty might need a name change once that’s over
Smith: OGDA has the size advantage. But something tells me Andrea will more than make up for that with her sound technical skills and burning passion.
Hood: I still think we should just give the title to King Infinity and let these other two do battle over, like a box of kittens or something
Smith: A box of kittens?
Hood: Ah, yea, you’re right. That would be too much motivation for OGDA
Smith: The match should be a great one! I can't wait to see it! Well folks we're going to head backstage for a minute while things get sorted out here.
~We cut backstage where John E Depth and Jack Puffer are waiting, eagerly outside of catering. They have paper plates in their hands~
Jack Puffer: I’m starving
John E Depth: Same here. I hate that we have to wait until everyone else has had their fill before we can eat. Oh well, at least everyone around here is healthy
Jack Puffer: Yea, there’s always some decent stuff leftover. Beats paying for food, anyway, right?
John E Depth: Haha, yea man, you’re right about that!
~The door opens. Cap Slock addresses the two jobbers~
Cap Slock: GENTLEMEN. DINNER IS SERVED.
~Puffer and Depth rush into catering. Their smiles are eviscerated. They halt. They look around as if viewing a dystopian landscape. We get a view. The entire buffet line has been destroyed. NOTHING IS LEFT. Puffer’s arms go limp. He drops his paper plate. Depth crushes his plate, tossing it as far as he can – it travels, like three feet. He turns to Cap Slock~
John E Depth: What happened to all the food?!
Cap Slock: BIFFORD IS BACK.
~Puffer and Depth curse as we cut away~
~We cut to a road in the middle of the evening. It’s surrounded by woods. A car is fast approaching. It’s the only car on the road. It draws closer and closer. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a corpulent framed individual comes bounding out of the woods, sprinting across the street as fast as he can. The car swerves to miss the guy. The car comes to a stop. The driver rolls down his window and yells out at the guy~
Driver: WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, PAL! YOU NEARLY KILLED US! NIGHT TIME JOGGING IS VERY DANGEROUS!
~We zoom in to get a close look at the jobber and why the fuck he’s relevant to this show. We discover it’s the man OGDA irish whipped into the woods back at Serial Thrillers. HE’S STILL RUNNING. Suddenly the refrain to “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls starts to play as we watch the guy reach the end of the road and stumble and sprint his way into the woods on the other side, disappearing from view. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: So glad that made television. It added so much to tonight’s broadcast.
Hood: I think that guy has already shed about five pounds
Smith: If he keeps going he may shed more than that
Hood: OCW out here saving lives.
#SSSHOT THROUGH THA' HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME....
#A BAD NAME!!!!
#FFFUCK YYYYEEEEAAAAAAOOOOOHHHH!!!!
Belvedere: ON HER WAY TO THE RING REPRESENTING ZYBALA AND THE LEADER OF TEAM REBELLION....
~She makes her way to the ring with a confident stride. It doesn't take her long to reach ringside. She climbs the steps, wipes her feet on the apron, and slips through the ropes. Rebel Rhodes then backs into a corner of her choosing and waits.....~
Belvedere: FROM ROME, GEORGIA, STANDING AT FIVE FEET AND ELEVEN INCHES TALL AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO POUNDS...
RRRRRREEEEBBBBBEEEEEELLLLL RRRRRRHHHHHHOOOOODDDDDDEEEESSSSS!!!!
~Melinda raises her arm with a three finger salute to the fans.~
*CROWD POPS!*
Smith: The Rebel is in the house!!!!
Hood: Oh great, I wonder what lame-o bitches will be following her!
~She motions for the music to cut and brings a microphone from her vest pocket straight to her lips.~
Rebel: Last you saw me, I promised I'd reveal my new Tag Team Partner. Well that was before I found out I was going to be a Team Captain for the upcoming Death March event!
~She starts to pace the ring a bit, casting her gaze out over the crowd to get a feel of the room temperature.~
Rebel: Straight up, I ate a big loss at Serial Thrillers. The reason I ate that loss was because of one man and it wasn't Jacob Hotstuff. It wasn't Bruce Rage. It's the team Captain I'll be facing at Death March......
*HUGE BOOOO!*
Crowd: LEGEND MY ASS! *CLAP-STOMP-CLAPCLAP-STOMP!* LEGEND MY ASS! *CLAP-STOMP-CLAPCLAP-STOMP!* LEGEND MY ASS *CLAP-STOMP-CLAPCLAP-STOMP!*
~The Rebel smirks a bit at the crowd.~
Rebel: ....Yes, "Legend My Ass" Vincent Langston. The man who broke the Trifecta and proved to all of us that he's just as selfish and self-centered as any talent in the industry. Granted, he did his part as a partner, but without my name and me giving him the time of day by putting forth my 100% effort, he'd have never gotten where he is. Once he got what he wanted out of me, I was ditched on the side of the road in the gutter.
She stops and stares straight into the nearest camera lens.
Rebel: Hey Vinnie, payback is a motherfucking bitch named Melinda Rhodes.
*HUGE POP!*
Rebel: INTRODUCING MY FIRST TEAM MATE.... You might've heard of her! THE BADASS WITH BLACK FEATHERS ON HER HEART TO MATCH THE SHADOW AROUND HER EYES!!! FROM GOOD OL' TOKYO, HHHHEEEELLLLLRRRRRRAAAAAVVVVEEEENNNN!!!
*MEGA CROWD POP!*
~The sounds of a thunderstorm echo across the arena speakers as purplish-blue spotlights come to life near the entrance ramp. Hellraven emerges from the back. She’s still covered in sweat and disappointment over her recent encounter with Andrea. She sighs at the top of the ramp. The crowd continues cheering for her – letting her know it’s okay. She gave it all she had in that match with Andrea~
Smith: I think this moment wasn’t planned to go EXACTLY this way
Hood: The unpredictability of competition, Smith. But, these fans are right. Hellraven has nothing to be ashamed of. And I think Rhodes is as proud as ever to have her on her team
Smith: Indeed. She’s a tremendous addition and, as we keep saying, one of the most talented members on our roster!
~Raven sucks it up and heads down the ramp. She reaches the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. With one hand she pulls back her slick, sweat soaked hair. With the other she gives Rhodes a fist bump. Rhodes pats her on the back and commends her on the effort earlier in the evening. Raven nods, still visibily disappointed. She’s a competitor, after all~
Rebel: Have a seat girlfriend, you work hard up in here! Now for my next choice. You may have saw him make an idiot out of one half of the tag Champions earlier. He's healed up and ready to go.... A MULTITIME WORLD CHAMPION, LONG TIME CAREER WRESTLING VETERAN, MY NEW TAG TEAM PARTNER, AND MY HUSBAND, "THE WILDKARD" JJJAAAAMMMMMEEESSSS SSSSSPPPPAAAAADDDDEEE!!!
*HUGE CROWD POP!*
~"Walk on Water" by Ozzy Osbourne plays over the house P/A as out steps a man that hasn't been seen in a wrestling ring in three years and yet as stands out in front of that crowd, wearing a black sleeveless shirt "Wildkard" shirt, simple wrap-around sunshades, blue jeans, blue and teal knee and kick pads, black wrestling boots, and a long gray rifleman's duster. The near 50 year old looks incredibly fit, his long brown hair only showing modest signs of graying, though the salt and pepper stubble on his chin gave it all away. He smiles at the crowd, genuinely surprised that anyone still remembers him.~
Smith: And he’s back out here!
Hood: Two times in one night is two times too many!
Smith: When you can’t depend on friends you turn to family, Hood. And that’s what Melinda has done this evening. She’s enlisted the help of person she trusts most in this world
~Spade walks down to the ring and the fans reach out to him. He promptly high fives as many in passing as he can. His appreciation for the fans of the sport never died during his time away and it shows as he even stops to hug young children and sign a quick autograph or two.~
~In his mind, it's hard to leave the fans at ringside, but after making a trip around the ring. Spade finally slides inside and hops to his feet with a bit of a youthful bounce in his step. He quickly makes his way to the nearest turnpost, ducking down to grip the ropes, bobbing his head left to right before throwing his arms up in the air with three fingered salutes for the fans and a wicked smile on his face. The Wildkard then back flips with a picture perfect moonsault, time seemingly slowly as he hung in the air for a few seconds, his coat whipping about in dramatic fashion, before he lands on his feet, cups his hands around his mouth and lets out his battle cry.....~
Spade: AAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!
*HUGE POP*
~....He walks over to his wife and gives the Rebel a solid kiss on the lips. Spade then moves to stand beside Hellraven with his arms draped over the ropes where he looks out over the crowd with a huge grin on his face.~
Rebel: If your husband can't have your back, who can, right? AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE LEAST..... SHE'S THE SUPLEX BEAST MACHINE FROM VEGAS BY WAY OF JEFF CITY!! SAM-BAM-THANK YOU MA'AM SSSSAAAMMMAAANNNNTTTHHHAAA TTTTOOOOLLLLSSSOOOONNN!!!
*SURPRISE MEGA CROWD POP!*
~"Release The Panic" by THE RED hit's the P/A and out saunters Mrs. Tolson herself, dressed to impress and looking every bit like a badass ring emperor as she power walks her way down to ringside. There's a fierce look in the slim brunette's eye as she climbs the ring steps and enters the ring. The Rebel and the living Suplex Machine high five, low five, and then grip hands for a proper ladies thug hug before Sam joins the rest of the team.~
Smith: Oh my gosh, Hood! It’s Samantha Tolson!
Hood: Hey, she’s hot
Smith: You bite your tongue, Hood! She will eviscerate you! This woman is no joke. She’s one of the best wrestlers on the planet today!
Hood: Wait so you’re telling me that Melinda Rhodes just reeled in the first major outsider for Death March?
Smith: Indeed
~Melinda brings the microphone to her lips with a smirk.~
Rebel: Someone try to top this team, I fucking DARE you. Team Rebellion is going to steam roll over not only Team Legend My Ass, but any and everyone who stands in our way. Vinnie, you've got a stacked deck standing in front of you, my "friend" and all I ask is please... Oh PLEASE do not walk out on your team like you did me, because I want to knock your ass out MYSELF!
~With a pipebomb drop of the mic, Atreyu's "You Give Love a Bad Name" hits the PA once more as Team Rebellion marches out of the ring like four generals on a mission of destruction....~
Smith: What a team!!! My goodness…Melinda Rhodes, James Spade, Hellraven and the immensely talented Samantha Tolson! Good luck Team Langston because you guys are going to need it!
Hood: Shit.
Smith: I couldn’t have said it better myself
Hood: These outsiders should be illegal! You hear me? ILLEGAL! Get this Spade and this Tolson out of here! This is CHEATING
Smith: Nope, it’s all legal, Hood! Melinda Rhodes is playing well within the rules. She’s got one hell of a team…I could see ALL FOUR making it to the final match. What if someone like Samantha Tolson emerged as the soul survivor at Death March? Think about it!
Hood: She’d get an OCW Title match, right?
Smith: Yep…an outsider with a shot at the company’s biggest prize! Don’t you think that might bring added motivation in for the members on the roster, especially the veterans?
Hood: Fuck yea
Smith: I knew outsiders could play a role in this. I assumed they would. But never in a million years did I think a talent like Samantha Tolson would agree to compete. She is a serious threat to win it all.
Hood: Well, I guess the shit…I guess it just got real.
Smith: Indeed it did! What a way to close out the show! Death March is one month away, everyone! Expect more names to be announced next week as these teams are formed! My goodness that show is going to be off the chain!
Hood: Off the chain? Geezus. Please, end the show now before you toss out anymore ‘cool’ phrases
Smith: It is late so with that being said I’m Smith and alongside me, as always is Hood. We’ll see you next week! So long everyone!
~We fade out~