OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, October 22nd 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida

~There are sometimes in life when we question our religious beliefs. Why am I catholic? I didn’t really have a choice to be catholic? My tiny bald head was dunked inside a bowl of freezing water before I had the option to choose Catholicism. Yet, I’m catholic. It’s not the most exciting, or sexy religion. There aren’t snakes slithering around a psychotic preacher. It’s mundanity creates questions which lead us down an uncertain path of theological pondering. Then…then there comes a day like yesterday. When our Catholic church holds an annual bazaar. Kegs of beer, bottles of wine, and a bunch of fun loving patrons getting wild and crazy in the name of Jesus, I guess. It’s days like yesterday that reaffirm our commitment to Catholicism. Kind of like how Monday’s reaffirm our commitment to OCW. I think we can all agree that Monday’s are something of a religious experience…that is if you’re tuning into STARZ on Monday evenings. We may wonder why we are solely committed to OCW at times – especially when Zybala is making decisions. But then Monday night just reminds us that there isn’t anything better than OCW. So we sit down on our couch hungover as FUCK ready to receive our weekly reminder that OCW kicks all the ass and takes all the names. That OCW logo flashes followed by the Massacre logo and we cut into a jam packed arena full of screaming OCW fans! Several “UBER” signs are spotted. Fans seem to be solidly behind the underdog. We also hear a chant for “FACE!” These fans are tired of waiting. We cut to Smith and Hood who appear ready for the broadcast~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always is Hood. Hood, you’re looking a little green around the gills today

Hood: Are you calling me a martian?

Smith: That’s my way of pointing out that you had a late night last night

Hood: It was Sunday night and I wanted to get rad. What are you gonna do?

Smith: Well I’d appreciate it if you’d show up to work looking a little healthier from now on

Hood: Did you SEE the lineup for tonight? Not like it’s going to take a whole bunch of effort to call this show

Smith: While this isn’t one of our more ‘stacked’ cards, I’m sure there will be a lot of major happenings. Serial Thrillers is one week away and we still have yet to find out who the new FACE of OCW is

Hood: What if it’s just a giant face? Like hanging from the rafters?

Smith: That would be a great disappointment

Hood: Yea, it’s a good thing Welsh is handling this situation other than, well, you know

Smith: We also will see Meyhu face The Uber Man in tonight’s main event which seems, well, it seems a little unfair

Hood: Hey! You keep screaming about how a guy like Uber needs a shot. How he should get a chance. Well, tonight’s his fucking chance

Smith: I guess…we’ve got all that and much, much more! So sit tight and enjoy tonight’s broadcast!

~We cut backstage where Marcus Welsh is seated inside his office. Barry Man is Low is standing in front of his desk. The crowd boos when they see the egotistical, power hungry GM~

Marcus Welsh: Alright Barry I want you to inform Mr. Zybala that his presence is not welcome at ringside during the Uber, Meyhu match. I know there’s been no formal announcement but I fully expect this man to do his best to bother our champ. In fact, you tell Zybala that if he steps into the ringside area during that match not only will Uber Man be disqualified but his contract will be instantly terminated.

~The crowd boos even louder. Barry Man is Low nods and heads out of the office. Barry’s departure gives us a clear shot of GREG seated in his chair, observing the situation. Knux, as always, is near the door~

Greg: That seems a bit harsh, Marcus

Marcus Welsh: With all due respect, Greg. You’re fairly new around here. Which means you aren’t aware of the lengths Zybala will reach in an effort to ruin this great company.

Greg: He sounds like a determined man.

Marcus Welsh: Oh trust me, he is. And, you know, now that you mention it I do think we might need to take extra precaution. We simply cannot have the CHAMP look weak tonight.

~Greg has a look on his face that read “I didn’t really say anything.” A paranoid Welsh addresses Knux~

Marcus Welsh: Knux, we need extra back up in case Zybala turns tonight’s main event into a shit show. I’m going to compile a list of intelligent wrestlers who understand the importance of doing business.

~Knux nods as Welsh starts to scribble names down. We cut back to ringside~

Smith: I don’t like the sounds of that, Hood

Hood: Why not? Because our GM wants this to be a FAIR fight?

Smith: The whole concept behind our main event is anything BUT fair

Hood: FAKE NEWZ…with a Z!

Smith: What are you, fifteen?

Hood: Only when…you know what, nevermind

Smith: Probably a good idea to stop short on that one, pal. Anyway…the deck stacked against Uber Man continues to increase and we’ve barely just begun! That match will air later this evening. Up next, however, we have the return of Paralysis!

Hood: Here’s hoping this run is better than his last

Smith: Indeed…let’s head down to ringside!

Opening Match
Paralysis (0-0) vs. Shootah (0-3)

~We cut to ringside. Shootah is standing in his corner looking surprisingly calm. One might go so far as to say the mother fucker looks confident. Is he on drugs? Did he take a Viagra? What’s the deal with this new found self-esteem? Regardless, the man stands proudly in his corner~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…standing in the ring with more confidence than we’ve ever seen…Shootah!

~Shootah does the ‘bro’ head nod when his name is announced. The crowd gives Shootah a round of applause. It’s nice to see this man transforming before our eyes from in-ring coward to in-ring competitor~

Smith: What has gotten into Shootah?

Hood: Meth

Smith: You think?

Hood: It’s the only logical explanation I’ve got for ya

Belvedere: And, his opponent

~“Decayer” by Pray for Sound hits. The crowd stands. They give a minimal reaction to Paralysis. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Paralysis in OCW. These fans aren’t sure how to react. He emerges from behind the curtain and marches down to the ring, ignoring the fans with more than an hint of arrogance. He reaches the ring, rolls in and pops back to his feet, staring at Shootah~

Belvedere: From Another Dimension…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 223lbs…Paralysis!

~Shootah’s eyes widen. He mouths the words ‘Another Dimension’ with an amalgamation of confusion and fear~

Smith: What dimension do you suppose Paralysis is from?

Hood: I have no idea. That place the brain guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is always yammering about?

Smith: Hmm…could be

Hood: And that’s only my guess because I don’t know of any other dimensions

~Paralysis continues to stare a hole through Shootah. Belvedere exits the ring. Paralysis tilts his neck to the left, cracking it. The bell sounds! Shootah shrieks like a child! His fear has returned! The question is…did it ever truly leave? He turns around and lunges for the ring post, wrapping both arms around it. The crowd laughs at his fear. Paralysis marches toward Shootah~

Smith: Same old Shootah

Hood: Don’t ever change, pal

Smith: At least he’s getting paid, I guess

Hood: Yea man the guy is out here hustling for a dollar. You think he pulls down a dollar?

Smith: I prefer not to look at how much a person like Shootah makes. The answer would depress me

~Paralysis grabs Shootah by the legs and pulls him away from the corner. Shootah yells “DEAR LORD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!” Paralysis snares Shootah by the hair and pulls him to his feet. He grabs Shootah by the arm. Shootah begs Paralysis to leave him alone. Paralysis yanks him forward and takes him down with a short arm clothesline!! Shootah hits hard. Paralysis heads for the corner~

Smith: Ouch

Hood: And that’s just about it for Shootah

Smith: Yep

~Paralysis heads for the corner. He scales it with cat like quickness. He’s looking spry, strong, and athletic. He stands atop the corner and leaps off with a Senton Bomb!!! He connects!! The ring shakes from the impact! Shootah MIGHT BE DEAD~

Smith: Just give it up, Shootah. Go work at McDonalds

Hood: I’M LOVIN IT

Smith: They do have wonderful BBQ sauce

Hood: Yea but who the fuck goes to a place just for their BBQ sauce?

~Paralysis grabs Shootah by his dirty hair. He kicks him in the gut and hooks his head. He lifts Shootah up and drops him to the mat with a Lifting DDT (Psionic Phaser)!!! He then locks in a sleeper hold!! Shootah is already asleep. He might be in a coma. Scruff instantly calls for the bell~

Belvedere: Here is your winner….PARALYSIS!!!!!

Smith: Easy win for Paralysis as he puts Shootah to sleep with Parabolic Shock

Hood: To be fair I think Shootah was already snoozing BEFORE that sleeper hold

Smith: You might have a point there. Regardless, Paralysis cruises to victory in his return match. He looks more focused now than he did the last time we saw him. Perhaps this run will yield positive results

Hood: Maybe…but we won’t know anything until he faces someone better than Shootah

Smith: Indeed..his next match should provide more insight into the potential of Paralysis. Anyway…the night rolls on so let’s head backstage!

~We cut backstage. Ed Houston is spotted outside the office of Marcus Welsh. He’s waiting for entry. The door opens and OCW Craze Champion Mike Harrison steps out. The crowd is unsure how to react. They like Harrison but they hate Welsh. Harrison eyes Houston for a moment. Houston sizes Harrison up. There is a hint of tension~

Smith: What’s going on back there, Hood? Are these two about to come to blows?

Hood: I don’t think so, Smith. I think they are just being invited to speak with Welsh about securing the Meyhu match later this evening

~Knux motions for Houston to enter. Houston and Harrison exchange what appears to be a look of respect before parting ways. Houston enters into the office. We listen in on the proceedings~

Marcus Welsh: Ah, Ed! The Rocket Man and soon to be final LightWeight Champion in OCW history! Thanks so much for coming

Ed Houston: Thanks for the invite

Marcus Welsh: Of course! Don’t mention it! I mean why wouldn’t I invite OCW’s most exciting in-ring wrestler? It’s a no brainer!

Ed Houston: Mmhmm

~Ed realizes Welsh is laying the compliments on rather thick. So he decides to shorten his response in an effort to get to the point~

Marcus Welsh: Say, Ed, listen…you’re a friend of Meyhu’s, right?

Ed Houston: He’s an alright guy. We go back

Marcus Welsh: Exactly! So, naturally, you understand the frustration I feel whenever Zybala tries to ruin the champ’s prestige and momentum

Ed Houston: Well, I mean I don’t really have a problem with Zybala. He’s just trying to make things interesting.

Marcus Welsh: Look, Ed, you don’t’ have to be politically correct in here. Not with me. I know you hate Zybala.

~Ed just kinda shrugs. It’s clear he has no strong feelings for Zybala one way or the other~

Marcus Welsh: I just know he’s going to make a mockery of tonight’s main event. For months’ he’s been pushing Tony the Spider and Uber Man as legit threats to our champ. He even asked if I would be open to having Tony the Spider DEFEAT The Marvel. I mean, can you believe that?

~Ed remains silent~

Marcus Welsh: It’s ludicrous! Glad you agree. Now, Ed, you’re a smart man. I think we can all agree that NASA really screwed up in letting you go. You understand the notion of quid pro quo.

Ed Houston: I am familiar with it, yes

Marcus Welsh: Great! So you know that when your boss does you a favor…like say give you the opportunity to become the last LightWeight Champion in OCW history…you understand that it’s only natural…it’s downright ethical for you to return the favor.

Ed Houston: Let me guess. You want me at ringside during the main event to prevent a Zybala interference

Marcus Welsh: Exactly! See? I knew you were smarter than those NASA elites. You’re a damn genius, kid! I’m glad I can count on you.

~Ed shrugs. Welsh takes this to mean that he’s on board and, well, he probably is. Houston stands and exits the office with Welsh crossing his name off the list, right under Harrison’s~

Marcus Welsh: Alright…two down with several more to go. It’s looking like whatever goofy plan Zybala has in mind WON’T be taking place tonight.

Greg: But Marcus, we don’t even know IF Zybala has a plan. For all we know he may be in New Orleans right now

Marcus Welsh: Don’t be so naïve, Greg! He’s always got some dumbass plan. Trust me.

~We cut back to the announce team~

Smith: Our GM is quite paranoid

Hood: Can you blame him? He’s been forced to work with Zybala ALL YEAR LONG

Smith: He has

Hood: I’m shocked he’s still sane

Smith: Well it appears that Harrison and Houston will be at ringside to ensure things go as scheduled. Who else with our GM approach?

Hood: Any and everybody…and they will accept or else they will face the consequences of their idiotic action

Smith: That remains to be seen

~The OCW cameras pan across the screaming fans of Key West at the OCW Arena as the feed fades to inside the ring, where Smith is standing, microphone in hand, behind a table and two office chairs . On the table is a contract that clearly reads on the front in big bold letters “Monster’s Ball Contract”.~

Smith: Ladies and gentlemen… after many delays, right now we will be holding the official contract signing for the Monster’s Ball match between “Wiseguy” Saxon Rowe—

~The play-by-play commentator is cut off by loud boos from the crowd.~

Smith: --and OCW Hall of Famer, the Incredible One.

~The former OCW Champion receives a thunderous applause from the crowd. Smith nods in agreement as he continues.~

Smith: Without further ado… let’s bring our participants out, explain the rules for everyone and have the contract signed.

~There is a long silence in the crowd, as the tension can be cut with a knife. Finally, the silence is broken by “Layla” by Derek and the Domino, causing the entire place to shower the ring with jeers. Saxon Rowe struts out from behind the curtain, without a lawyer or security, straight razor in hand, fixing up his beard. He winks to a couple women in the crowd while going down the ramp. He walks up the steel steps, brushes his feet before entering the ring. He raises his hands, as he once again booed to death. He ignores the hate as he shakes hands with Smith, who is reluctant to do so but does so professionally. Rowe sits down on one of the chairs and puts his feet up on the table. He motions for Smith to give him a microphone.~

Saxon Rowe: Before you come out here TIO, let’s make something perfectly clear. You’ve made it known that all you want to do is kick the ever living shit out of me, regardless of the conditions stating you can’t until Serial Thrillers. Being this is the final event before Serial Thrillers… if you do lay a hand on me tonight… I have a contingency plan in place. I’m not going to say what it is, but let’s just say you’ll be in a great trouble if you do lay hands on me.

~Rowe goes to place the mic down on the table but the mic doesn’t even hit the wood as “Who Taught You How to Hate” by Disturbed blasts out of the sound system, causing Rowe to startle and fall out of his chair. The crowd jumps to their feet, as a massive “TIO” chant echoes throughout the arena. TIO slowly walks from backstage, with a baseball bat in hand over his shoulder. His daughter Jenna follows him as both are business, going straight down the ramp. TIO climbs the steps and bends the rope to allow Jenna to enter the ring. TIO immediately smashes the bat onto the table, causing the contract to fly in the air and Rowe to cower out of the ring. TIO rests the bat onto his shoulders again, and he stands, not taking his eye off Rowe while Jenna sits in the chair on their side. TIO’s music fades out as Smith begins to speak again.~

Smith: Right… so before the two of you sign the contract, let me talk about the Monster’s Ball match. The match is no disqualification match, falls count anywhere. The match can be won be either pinfall or submission. Twenty four hours before the match begins, the two of you will be locked in separate rooms in the basement of the Mortuary Haunted House in New Orleans. For twenty four hours there will be no light in your room – you will not be able to see. You will also have no access to food, or water. You will only be permitted out of the rooms once the bell rings for your match. Do either of you object to the match?

~Both men shakes their heads, as Rowe has gotten to his feet, but still on the outside.~

Smith: Fine, then we shall make this match official. Rowe, if we can get you in the ring?

~Rowe visibly gulps as he rolls into the ring, hesitant to come to the table. TIO moves the bat from his shoulder and gently places the tip of it on the table. Smith hands Rowe a pen as Rowe sits down in his chair and grabs the contract. TIO doesn’t move a muscle as Rowe flips to the second page and signs the contract. TIO snatches the contract from Rowe as he gives Jenna the bat and goes to the second page to sign. He puts the pen to the paper and goes to sign but stops. He drops the contract, and grabs the mic on the table. TIO breathes heavily into the mic, obviously angry.~

TIO: It isn’t enough…

~Rowe, perplexed, motions for someone to get him a mic.~

Saxon Rowe: Uh, what?

TIO: You heard me – this match isn’t enough. I’m going to kick your ass Rowe – I’m going to leave you in a bloody puddle… but it isn’t enough for me. My wife is gone, and you have tainted her memory by dragging them into this.

Saxon Rowe: I dragged them into this? Hell no. You brought your wife and Jenna into your wrestling life when they decided to walk down the ramp with you for your matches. You could’ve kept them private, and for yourself, but you allowed them into this world and once they’re in this world – it’s fair game.

TIO: Fair game? This isn’t deer hunting we’re talking about – THIS IS FAMILY! You poked your nose into something that didn’t involve you and you will forever have destroyed the delicate memory of my wife. Therefore… I need to destroy something of yours. Take something from you.

~Rowe shakes his head and laughs, pointing at TIO and making a face towards the crowd.~

Saxon Rowe: You want to take something from me? Like what?

TIO: Something that’s precious to you. You tainted one of my loves, and I want to destroy one of yours.

Saxon Rowe: I don’t love anything. I don’t have a loved one in my life.

TIO: It doesn’t have to be a person. When I beat you – I’m going to burn your business to the ground.

Saxon Rowe: Go ahead. I’ll just collect the insurance money and build elsewhere.

TIO: No? Not worried about your business? Fine. I’ll petition to have you fired – you’ve been a lousy employee.

Saxon Rowe: Lousy? Oh NO! NOT MY JOB! Hah, you think I care about this job? I could get another fighting job elsewhere.

~Frustrated, TIO grabs the bat and smashes it on the table and then a turnbuckle. He goes to hit Rowe with it but he throws his arms in front of himself, guarding his face. TIO looks at Rowe’s features and smiles. He grabs the microphone again.~

TIO: I know. The perfect addition to our match. I’ll even go in on it with you. I know the one perfection you have – the one precious you LOVE… your beard.

~Rowe’s eyes widen as the crowd cheers. Rowe puts his hands on his beard, as he looks around frantically and then back at TIO.~

Saxon Rowe: No…

TIO: What, are you a pussy? I never knew a wise guy to back down from a challenge? What do you say, Rowe? You got the balls to keep going at me huh? Let’s make it fucking interesting! Monster’s Ball… BEARD VS. BEARD!

~Without even allowing Rowe to respond, TIO grabs a pen and signs the contract, causing the arena to explode. Rowe is arguing with Smith when all of sudden TIO grabs Rowe by his beard. Rowe begins to scream, attempting to pry TIO’s hand from his facial hair.~

TIO: I can’t fucking wait to take the life from your lungs and then shave your beard all over Louisiana and make you baby faced you son of a bitch. That’ll teach you to mess with the Incredible family.

~TIO shoves Rowe, releasing his beard. Rowe fixes his beard carefully as TIO goes to leave with Jenna but stops. He comes back and gets right in Rowe’s face.~

TIO: And you think your threat of a contingency plan scares me? What are you gonna have done? The match thrown? Me fired? Doesn’t matter to me. All that matters right now is making you SUFFER!

~Ignoring the warning, TIO punches Rowe right in the face as the crowd goes nuts. TIO corners Rowe into a turnbuckle and unloads punch after punch onto his forehead, nose, and chin. TIO kicks Rowe in between the legs, causing the wise guy to buckle, holding himself. TIO doesn’t give him a chance as he brings him up, puts Rowe’s head between his legs, and TIO delivers a powerbomb through the table. Rowe screams in pain as TIO looks at Jenna and winks. TIO picks up Rowe and whips him into the ropes and when Rowe bounces off, Jenna superkicks Rowe in the jaw, as he flies over the top rope and onto the mat below. TIO hugs Jenna, keeping his serious demeanor, as the crowd applauds the attack. All of a sudden, the big screen statics and a video from a handheld or phone begins to play. TIO and Jenna stop embracing and look at the screen, confused.~

Saxon Rowe: Stop filming me you damn idiot! Don’t you hear them? Film them!

~The video starts with Rowe talking before turning and focusing on the Incredible One, and his late wife Leslie, at an unknown location. Leslie is crying while TIO is pacing back and forth.~

Leslie: I just don’t agree—

TIO: Of course you don’t! All you’re thinking about is yourself!

Leslie: That’s not true Ian, I’ve done a lot of thinking—

TIO: And you would’ve known that you’re putting me through ANOTHER cancer battle. I had an uncle die of cancer, hell my dad died of cancer. They both took treatment and it sucked the life out them – they looked like zombies. And they’re cancers weren’t as bad as yours!

Leslie: I understand sweetie but I don’t want to leave you or Jenna as early.

TIO: Really? You’ll be doing us a favor by not doing treatment! You’ll become unrecognizable and would you rather Jenna remember you or try to forget about you because you looked sick!

Leslie: I mean—

TIO: I’m making this decision okay? You don’t need to worry about a damn thing because I’m making the best decision for you! Jenna is a little brat and knows nothing about the complications of being an adult! No treatment and that’s final!

~The video stops, with the final image showing Leslie looking towards where the camera was. TIO tries to explain to Jenna what the video was but Jenna doesn’t even look at her father. She pushes him away and steps out of the ring, crying and heading to the back. Rowe is still out cold as TIO seems embarrassed, while the crowd reacts uneven. He looks down at Rowe before leaving, unsure of his actions.~

Smith: Oh my! What do you suppose that was all about?!

Hood: Well, it's official...TIO murdered Leslie

Smith: Now how on EARTH did you reach that conclusion?

Hood: Because I'm good at deducing the most dramatic option possible from pretty much any situation

Smith: Drama queen

Hood: HEY! I am no queen

Smith: Sure. Well TIO and Rowe will attempt to settle their differences at Serial Thrillers in one week. As for TIO and his daughter, Jenna...who knows when, how or IF these new issues will/can be settled

Hood: He's just doing to her what we all knew he'd do. He's making her a monster

~Scene opens to Welsh’s office. He sits behind his desk with his shirt off, eyes closed, while Greg rubs lotion into his shoulders. Knux stands at the door, while Barry Man-is-Low, John E. Depth, and Jack Puffer all relax on a couch on the other side of the room. After a moment, there’s a knock at the door. Welsh gives Knux a nod. Knux opens it up and allows Mack O’Connor to step in. Without opening his eyes, Welsh motions for Mack to sit down across from him. Mack does so slowly, unsure of what to make of Greg rubbing Welsh’s shoulders~

Welsh: It’s been a stressful day, Mack. Wouldn’t you say?

~Mack shrugs~

Mack: Not really. I’ve just been hanging out.

~Eyes still closed, Welsh lets out a moan as Greg really digs into his shoulder. Mack clears his throat. Greg pauses, shooting a “Excuse me, bitch?” look at Mack. Welsh opens his eyes~

Welsh: Something the matter, Mack?

Mack: You asked to see me. Here I am.

Welsh: Is there something making you uncomfortable?

Mack: You can say that. Or, you can tell me what you want.

~Welsh reads Mack for a moment, then waives Greg off. Greg nods and strolls away. Welsh casually begins putting on a shirt while continuing to talk~

Welsh: If you haven’t noticed, things have been getting more and more intense around this place tonight. Not just tonight, but the past few weeks.

Mack: Okay?

Welsh: Zybala has been banned from ringside during Meyhu and Uber Man’s match tonight. But I still think he may have something up his sleeve.

Mack: So?

Welsh: I’ll cut to the chase.

Mack: That’d be great.

Welsh: Won’t beat around the bush any longer.

Mack: Swell.

~Welsh grabs an envelope from a drawer in his desk and slowly walks around the desk towards Mack. His face shows that he has no other choice~

Welsh: Tonight, and tonight only, I need you on my bench. I need you in my corner. We’ve never seen things eye-to-eye, but I need to look past that.

Mack: Why the fuck would I ever help you?

~Welsh hands the envelope to Mack. Welsh sits back on the desk, watching as Mack looks in the envelope: A large stack of cash~

Welsh: I also have a few extremely rare bottles of whiskey that I’m looking to give away…

~Mack’s interest peaks as he looks up at Welsh~

Mack: Keep talking. I’m listening.

~Welsh smiles. He looks at the camera, then looks over to Knux~

Welsh: Get them out of here.

Knux: Yes, sir.

~Knux steps forward, and the camera cuts to black~

Singles Match
Curt Canon (13-5-1) vs. John E Depth (0-2)

~The crowd is still buzzing over the Rowe, TIO confrontation. There is a lot of drama in the air as we are only one week away from those two settling their differences. Depth is in the ring discussing with a group of fans in the front row. They seem to be talking about the TIO video and what it could mean~

John E Depth: I know! I still think TIO assisted in her death. But you do have to admit one thing…

Fan: What’s that?

John E Depth: That was some high quality video. I need to get with Rowe and find out where he got that camera. Maybe he’ll let me borrow it for my next film. I really think once I upgrade the video quality Deluxxx productions will take off

Fan: Yea, that or you can stop hiring fat chicks

John E Depth: What was that?!

Fan: Nothing! Oh, look, Belvedere is in the ring! I think it’s time for your match!

~Depth slides into the ring as Belvedere starts to speak~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently in the ring…John E Depth!!!

~Depth does a couple of pelvic thrusts. Nobody in the crowd really cares~

Smith: I feel 100% disgust when I see that man

Hood: I see a man simply trying to feed his family

Smith: He doesn’t have a family!

Hood: So you’re saying his harem of overweight female pornstars aren’t people? Man, you’re rough

Smith: That’s not what I’m saying!

Belvedere: And, his opponent…

~“Figure 8” by Trust Company hits and the crowd goes wild!!! Curt Canon appears from behind the curtain and stands atop the stage. He motions around his waist that the LW title is coming home where it belongs! He sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring. He pops to his feet and quickly ascends the nearest corner, pumping up his fans~

Belvedere: From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…and an OCW Hall of Famer…he is Curt Canon!!!

~Belvedere exits. The bell sounds~

Smith: Curt Canon receiving what appears to be a tune up before his big match next week against Ed Houston

Hood: Well we haven’t seen Curt wrestle in like a year so it’ll be nice to remember what he looks like before Serial Thrillers

Smith: Each wrestler in OCW has a very specific contract, Hood

Hood: Oh, I’m well aware. Depth and Puffer got fucked on their contracts

~Canon hops off the corner and spins around, facing Depth. Depth approaches Canon asking him about Saxon Rowe and the camera he used for the video shown moments earlier. Canon shrugs. He has no idea. He tells the guy to just use his phone~

Smith: Why does Depth think Canon would have any clue about Rowe’s camera quality?

Hood: Because his last name is Canon?

Smith: So you’d ask a guy named Kodak about film quality?

Hood: No, I’d ask him about bears

Smith: That’s Kodiak!

~Canon is tired of hearing all this ‘camera’ talk so he drills Depth in the face with a V-Trigger Knee Lift!!! Depth stumbles back, into the ropes. He bounces off and is met with a Jumping Corkscrew Roundhouse Kick (Canon Kick)!!! Depth falls to the mat. The crowd begins a chant of “LightWeight!” Canon nods along, getting into position for his finishing move~

Smith: These fans associate Curt Canon with the OCW LightWeight division and why shouldn’t they, he’s one of the founding fathers!

Hood: For historical purposes Canon should go down as the final LightWeight Champion

Smith: That’s a valid point. However the LightWeight Division was the most progressive division in OCW…so, in that sense wouldn’t it be more natural for Ed Houston to be our final LightWeight Champion?

Hood: Only if he’s at ringside to help THE CHAMP tonight

~Depth struggles to his feet but makes it! Canon hits the ropes. He comes off and drops Depth with The Chronicle’s End (Essex Destroyer)!!! The crowd pops for the fantastic looking maneuver. Canon makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner….CURT CANON!!!!!

Smith: Easy win for Curt Canon. He looks ready for Ed Houston

Hood: Curt’s been in bag matches all year long. Bigger matches than Ed, anyway. Can Ed rise to the occasion?

Smith: That’s the question. I’m sure, regardless of the outcome that it will be one of the greatest matches of 2018.

~We cut backstage to Marcus Welsh's office. He is getting a nice shoulder and neck rub from therapeutic wizard Greg. Welsh looks completely relaxed. There is a knock on the door and Welsh looks up with a dreamy look on his face~

Welsh: Enter....

~Knux opens the door opens and in walks Commissioner Zybala. He is holding a large object under a sheet. Welsh groans, but we don't know if it's in pleasure of annoyance. Knux motions as if to ask ‘should I throw him out?’ Welsh contemplates the imagery of Zybala being manhandled by Knux and smiles. He then conjures the imagery of Zybala superkicking his head of security unconscious and frowns. Ultimately he comes to a middle ground. He waves Knux away, willing to hear Zybala out~

Welsh: What do you want Zybala?

Zybala: Well, I've been talking to some of our........umm.........let's be nice and call them enhancement talents, and they have been feeling down and underappreciated. So I came up with an idea to boost their morale.

Welsh: Of course you’d be hanging out with OCW’s biggest losers. Makes total sense. I’ve got a busy night, Mike so I’m sure you can understand why issues pertaining to Puffer, Depth, Shootah, and the rest of OCW’s job squad would irritate me. So, please, get to the point so I can do what we all know I’m going to do.

~A look of annoyance washes over Zybala's face briefly (when will this veto shit end) but it passes as he takes off the sheet, revealing a glorious looking trophy. It stands almost three feet high with a figure with its arms raised in victory toping it off. There is an empty gold name plate attached to the base of the trophy where the winner's name will obviously go. Welsh surprisingly looks mildly interested. "Where is Zybala going with this" he must be wondering~

Zybala: I was thinking that with Serial Thrillers behind us, we can use this to fill some air time. We take eight of OCW's least successful stars and put them in a tournament over the next few weeks. The final two will face off at the next super show where the winner will not only win this trophy, but also $10,000 of my personal money, a thirty minute massage from Greg; if he chooses to go along of course, AND a shot at a title of their choosing, not including the OCW Championship of course. I think it would boost morale and make the guys and gals bring a little more effort into their matches. What do ya say?

Welsh: Lets say I go along with this idea of yours, how do we determine who qualifies for this tournament?

Zybala: Well, I was thinking that anyone who has more losses than wins in their records here in the company. You and I can look over the roaster and pick the best of the worst.

Welsh: Hmm. I mean it’s a pretty shitty idea but you have had a rough time of late getting ideas through OCW’s quality control, meaning myself, obviously. Let me ask you this. If I said yes do you think you could go around informing these qualifying individuals tonight before the show ends?

Zybala: Tonight?

Welsh: Yes, tonight. That way we can begin the tournament the Monday after Serial Thrillers. Post PPV Massacres are throwaway shows anyway. It’d be the only time I’d allow something so ridiculous to air.

Zybala: Well, if it’s got to be tonight.

Welsh: YES! It has to be tonight. You must go around and inform everyone by the end of the evening. Get them to sign off on a contract. Something to prove that they are going to be involved. That’s the one concession I need from you in order to push this damnable idea through.

Zybala: Why does this feel like trickery?

Welsh: Because you are paranoid, Mike. I can see married life has already made you gun shy.

~Welsh laughs. Greg chuckles. Knux cracks his knuckles. Zybala does not find the joke funny~

Zybala: Well, if it must be tonight. Here’s the contract executing the plan. I just need your signature.

~Zybala pulls a rolled up contract out from the back pocket of his pants and hands it to Welsh. It’s only two pages. Font face COMIC SANS. Classic Zybala. Welsh reads through it carefully…there’s nothing in there, it’s pretty straight forward in explaining exactly what Zybala had pitched. So, Welsh signs it and hands it back~

Marcus Welsh: There you go, Mike. Now don’t say I never gave you anything.

~Zybala takes the contract and folds it up, carefully, placing it into his front pocket. The document has moved from coach to first class! He’s got a busy night ahead of him so he exits. Knux shuts the door and looks at Welsh. As does Greg~

Greg: Well, that was surprising

Welsh: What an idiot! Don’t you see? If he’s back here obtaining all these signatures then he’ll be too busy to interrupt the show! It looks as though our Zybala problem is solved…

~Greg smiles. Welsh leans back in his chair with a sense of relaxation he hasn’t felt in WEEKS~

Smith: Has Welsh outsmarted Zybala?

Hood: It looks like he has! What a great GM we have, Smith. Lucky to have him

Smith: I mean he may have…but how long does it take to secure signatures. I think Welsh might be underestimating Zybala’s organizational skills.

Hood: The only thing Zybala is good at organizing is action figures from his childhood. It’s going to take him at least a week to get these signatures, Smith.

Smith: Well that remains to be seen…

"WHEN ITS TIME TO PARTY, WE WILL PARTY HARD!"

~The crowd explodes with cheers as the music hits and Mike Zybala walks out onto the stage. He is smiling from ear to ear and makes his way to the ring, high fiving fans and taking pictures with them along the way~

Hood: What is he doing out here?! He’s supposed to get signatures from jobbers! He was told this LITERALLY seconds ago!

Smith: Hmm…it appears our GM may have, indeed, underestimated Zybala

Hood: I bet Welsh is furious!

~We cut to the office of GM Welsh. His TV is turned off. He’s relaxing, enjoying some champagne while Greg sits in his lap. We quickly cut away~

Smith: Oh my

Hood: Glad we cut away…not that there’s anything wrong with that

Smith: Welsh DEFINITELY underestimated our Commissioner. He has no idea he’s coming out here!

Hood: Oh no…Zybala with a mic and unchecked power. Maybe somebody should contact STARZ and tell them to switch programming. This could be unwatchable television!

~Zybala steps in the ring and gets a microphone from Belvedere. Zybala thanks him and the music dies down~

Zybala: What's up OCW!?! (fans cheer) As you all are well aware, I was not here last week. That's because I was away with my new wife, celebrating our marriage. It was a special time not only because I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love, but I also had a very pleasant interaction with Marcus. I had called the week prior to request the night off and he more than happily obliged! He even congratulated us! Now I know he was more eager to be rid of me for a night, but I think deep down, our match may have opened up a new respect for each other.

~Zybala smiles and pauses. The fans give him a strong ovation~

Zybala: Anyways enough with the mushy stuff. With Serial Thrillers just around the corner, I realized that a stipulation for the OCW Title match has yet to be announced. And since Welsh was so nice to give me last week off I figured I’d remove the burden he’s feeling in regards to the main event stip. I’ve given serious thought to this match and have reached a decision.

Smith: Welsh is not going to like this

Hood: If he books a Rodeo Clown match, I’m out of here

Zybala: I did some research the day of my wedding. There was some dead time and to avoid my feet from getting too cold I thought I’d stay busy. I researched The Confederate Icon’s first OCW Title win. He won the title inside THE CUBE. I also researched Meyhu’s first OCW Title victory. He defeated The Incredible One in an Escape the Prison Match. So for a match of this magnitude I figured these two should face one another under the very stipulations they won their first OCW Titles. So we will see these two compete within THE CUBE to start off the match. And then, once someone has won within THE CUBE, they will move to an Escape the Mortuary match. The first person to escape the venue wins that portion of the contest.

~Zybala pauses. The fans are ready to go wild…but they are confused. Something is lacking~

Smith: I think we need a third match in there, commissioner

Hood: Nah. He just knows Meyhu is going to win the first two matches. There’s no need for a third.

Zybala: Yes, I realize we need a third stipulation. I’m not as dumb as Welsh would have you believe. The third stipulation will be a Buried Alive Match! You see, there’s a cemetery right behind our venue. Once these two men are out of the Mortuary they can brawl out into the cemetery…it’s a natural transition. The first person to bury their opponent within an open gave in that cemetery will be the winner! And, I know what you’re saying but, trust me, I’ve done this long enough to know these matches ALWAYS go three falls. So, Vargas…and Matty Mayo…good luck surviving a match I like to call the first ever OCW Halloween Horror Match!

~The fans go wild at this announcement as Zybala gives a final wave before exiting the ring~

Smith: Oh My Goodness!

Hood: Gotta hand it to him. That wasn't a half bad idea.

Smith: True, partner. But how are the champ and the challenger going to respond to that announcement?

Hood: Not as angrily as Welsh will…once he finds out.

Smith: Indeed, our GM will NOT be a happy camper

~Picking up where we left off last week on, Massacre!~

~Joe just shakes his head as Armbar Armstrong, now dubbed The Sarg, steps out of the little room next to Nanook’s desk wearing camo from head to toe, even has a camo bikers vest to match The Captain’s, but camo. The Sarg, he takes a step or two and has just a huge look of disappointment on his face. He looks down at the floor, his shoulders are slumped down, he just can’t look at himself. Nanook is sporting a huge beaming smile on his face. He steps out from behind the desk and pats The Sarg on the shoulder.~

Nanook “As you can see Joey, we had to update his look, ditch that silly name. Armbar Armstrong is just a silly little name. He is a soldier. Something people can get behind and with his raw in ring skills, he is a fighting machine and this is pure money here. Sarg and I, with the Captain leading the charge, we’re not only going to put this tag division on its ear, but we’ll be rolling in the money as well. You should see the merch I have planned….”

Joe “This, this was all KC wasn’t?” (KC, cuz I doubt any of you know, is Joe’s Uncle, former wrestler and went by the name Crash, is all tatted up with lightning bolts and storm clouds and scenes of death and destruction. KC works for Nanook’s ESM and has a school in NYC)

Nanook “What?”

Joe “This whole get up, you let KC do this to this kid didn’t ya? He always wanted to do this GI Joe army get up and you let him finally do it. This shit is boring as fuck. You might as well put him in a three piece suit and prance him out there on national TV and tell anyone who cares that this pawn is Zybala’s assistant and he’s the next General Manager of OCW or some shit. That is the only way you’re going to make any money with this shit. Jesus, he’s been in front of me for ten seconds and I already don’t want to see him anymore, on TV or in real life. Much like everything else you touch tubby, you ruin everything.”

Nanook “Do not!”

Joe “Nascar Billy, he was a huge hit, most popular guy in Knoxville, outsold freaking Caleb Hart and you convinced him to drop Nascar and turn him into fucking Sutton, who, no one cared about. Then there was Racing Tyme, huge, over as fuck tag team, and you decided to go barnstorming in parts of the country that never heard them, us, and we flamed out. I told you that they don’t care about two masked guys in white jumpsuits pretending to be race car drivers in Canada but you wouldn’t listen. Then there was James. Foul mouth horny midget who somehow found a way to win in the ring against guys who are three times bigger than him. They flashed a huge wad of cash in front of you and you made him dress up as Scrappy Doo, ruining him. Now the guy can’t find work anywhere and for what? A couple of bucks? Much like the Captain and the Sarg here, no one will care.”

Nanook “Is that so?”

Joe “Go talk to Marcus, have him give these two Brother of Anarchy rejects a match. Against any team on on the roster. They will get squashed in two minutes.”

Nanook “No they won’t! These two are destined to win those OCW tag belts.”

Joe “Bro, I’m telling you. They couldn’t win a handicapped match.”

Nanook “Is that a fact?”

~Joe takes a step towards Nanook and gets right in his grill.~

Joe “You want to double up on that bet?”

Nanook “And who do you have in your stable Joey?”

Joe “The guy who got away. Bester.”

~Nanook raises a eyebrow.~

Nanook “You’d put his contract up for these two guys?”

Joe “Yup. I’ve got a guy who’ll make short work of these two.”

Nanook “You got a guy? A new guy?”

Joe “Sure do, and I’ll throw him on the deal. Bester and my new guy for their deals, all or nothing.”

~Joe is dead serious. Nanook is mulling it over.~

~To Be Continued…..~

~We cut backstage where GM Marcus Welsh is outside of his office, for once. He’s rushing down the hallway with Knux leading the way. They reach their destination to find Bob Grenier face down on the pavement. The Knife Man is looking over Bob, trying to ascertain what happened~

Marcus Welsh: What the hell happened?!

~Welsh shoves Knux aside. He extends his leg and kicks Grenier. Grenier doesn’t respond. The Knife Man looks up with his expressionless mask. But we can all tell he’s horrified. He shrugs as if to ask “What the hell, man?”~

Marcus Welsh: I guess he’s unconscious. Fuck. He’s got a match that’s scheduled to take place right now! Who did this?! Who DID THIS?!

The Knife Man: Excuse me, sir. I don’t mean to be a bother

Marcus Welsh: Well you are! Unless you can get this guy in shape to compete within the next, say, two minutes then you are a TOTAL bother

The Knife Man: Could you refrain from assaulting the injured man, sir?

~A frustrated Welsh kicks Grenier again. He looks at The Knife Man as if to say “What are you going to do?” The Knife Man just shakes his head. His knife points down at the ground in sadness~

AKB: Yo, Welsh! Great idea, man!

~Welsh looks up to see AKB walking past them. He’s got his phone out and is swiping right and left~

Marcus Welsh: What are you talking about?!

~Welsh is obviously confused. He hasn’t been paying attention to his own show~

AKB: That main event stipulation. That was a fantastic idea! The OCW twitter page is blowing up with compliments and excitement.

~AKB, with his face down, staring at the screen of his phone, tries to walk away. Welsh motions at Knux. Knux grabs AKB by the shirt and slams him against the wall. AKB drops his phone~

AKB: What the hell, man?! I was just matched with this super quirky looking chick.

~Welsh approaches, getting into AKB’s face while Knux keeps him pinned to the wall~

Marcus Welsh: What are you talking about? What match stipulation?

AKB: Earlier tonight…Zybala went out to the ring and announced a radical stipulation for the OCW Title match at Serial Thrillers. I think he called it a Halloween Horror Match…something like that.

Marcus Welsh: WHAT?!

~Knux throws AKB to the side. AKB scurries on all fours, snaring his phone. He gets to his feet and runs off. Welsh paces back and forth. He steps onto the arm of Grenier and begins kicking him over and over. The Knife Man pleads with Welsh to stop. He finally does and looks up at the ceiling screaming~

Marcus Welsh: ZYBALA!!!!!

~Breathing heavily he turns toward Knux~

Marcus Welsh: C’mon, Knux. To ringside before this idiot can ruin the biggest announcement of the evening

~Knux nods and they leave. Grenier remains on the ground as a stretcher appears into view. The Knife Man takes great care in tending to the wounded OCW legend~

~Jack Puffer stands in the ring curious, as well are, over what happened to Grenier. Is he going to wrestle? What’s the deal? Suddenly the curtain is thrust apart as Welsh marches to the ring with a purpose. Knux is right behind him. The crowd BOOOOOS. Puffer looks on from inside the ring, continuing to display confusion. Welsh rushes up the steps and enters. He snatches the mic from Belvedere. Knux steps over the top rope, into the ring. Puffer remains in his corner looking increasingly stupid as the segment goes on~

Marcus Welsh: ZYBALA! You think you’re smart? You think you can pull a fast one on me? I know what your end game is. I know what you’re up to. You want to ruin everything that is good about OCW. You want to kill Matt Meyhu. You want to turn away the new FACE of OCW. Well, let me tell you, Zybala…that’s not going to happen.

~The crowd Booooos even louder. Welsh grinds his teeth, trying to ignore the reaction. His composure is all but lost~

Marcus Welsh: That entire tournament charade was nothing more than misdirection. I see it now. Even YOU wouldn’t be so insane as to seriously pitch an idea as absurd as that.

~Puffer inquires as to what’s going on. Welsh yells at him. Knux threatens to hit him. Puffer flies through the ropes, to the outside. A fan leans over informing Puffer of the idea Zybala pitched earlier. Puffer perks up and sprints away from ringside, backstage to presumably see Zybala. Welsh continues~

Marcus Welsh: I am done being fooled by you, Zybala. The fact that I’m even admitting to falling prey to one of your tricks is embarrassment enough! I am VETOING that stipulation you placed earlier tonight. We will go with the idea originally planned…. A BULLROPE MATCH!

Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!!!

Marcus Welsh: Oh, you fans don’t like that stipulation? Well you can all just suck my dick because I…

~A loud ‘HOOT’ interrupts Welsh. He stares at the entrance way in full on FURY as OWLIE THE OWL steps out, flapping its wings and acting like a goof. The fans cheer. They go wild! Welsh looks like he wants to puke~

Marcus Welsh: Oh, you think this is funny? I’ll show you funny

~Welsh motions toward the back. BARRY MAN IS LOW appears with a chair! He DRILLS Owlie in the back with the chair!! Owlie falls down, on top of the stage. Knux exits the ring and hustles up the ramp. He starts to beat Owlie down alongside Barry Man is Low~

Marcus Welsh: I have had enough of this comedic bullshit. Serial Thrillers is next week and it’s time we get serious around here. No more fucking around. And that begins with Alice Knight. Alice, I loathe everything you represent. I hate how you take a sport and turn it into fucking Looney Tunes. That’s why I handpicked you to be the one who puts over our newest signing…the new FACE of OCW. This isn’t just a debut. This isn’t just a win over an OCW legend…and trust me, I gag every time I refer to you as a legend, Alice. This is so much more. This is the beginning of a new era in OCW.

~Owlie isn’t moving. Knux and Barry are breathing heavily, hovering over the battered mascot. Knux looks to the ring. He asks if they should remove the Owl’s head~

Marcus Welsh: No! You don’t give the person under that costume ANY credit. None! I want you to throw him off the stage! Decimate that mother fucker!

Smith: Oh my gosh! They are going to kill Owlie!

Hood: Welsh has lost it

Smith: He is definitely angrier than I’ve ever seen him

~Knux and Barry pick Owlie up. They position him for a double powerbomb and throw him off the stage all the way to the concrete floor! Owlie hits with a sickening thud. He isn’t moving. The crowd goes silent~

Marcus Welsh: That’s what all this comedy bullshit gets you, Alice. I want everyone to take note. This happy go lucky super fun OCW is over. The new FACE of OCW is going to make sure of that when he steps into the ring next week and soundly puts Alice into the professional wrestling grave where she belongs.

Smith: And who is the face? Who is it?!

Hood: I think he’s about to tell us

Marcus Welsh: Alice…get ready. I shouldn’t even spoil who this person is a week in advance for it gives you the opportunity to study up. But, then again, we all know you don’t study. Plus I’m so confident in this person’s ability that you could have a YEAR to prepare and you’d still get your goofy ass kicked. So, Alice…get ready as next week at Serial Thrillers you will compete AND lose against the new FACE of OCW…

~Welsh pauses. The fans are on the edge of their seats~

Smith: Who? WHO IS THIS PERSON?

Hood: I need to know!!!

Marcus Welsh: Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you the newest member of the OCW roster. The future of this company. The brand new FACE of the brand. Ladies and gentlemen please keep your pants dry…and if that’s not an option then locate a handful of napkins nearest you. Refrain from stroking out due to mass hysteria and please…please, I beg of you, make sure to save your ticket stubs from tonight’s historic event because you’re all about to experience the single greatest moment in OCW history. OCW fans…I present to you the man who will lead this company into 2019…give it up for Aidan Collins!!!

~The crowd gasps with shock! They all stand and look toward the entrance. Could it be? Is the wrestling star really signed to OCW?~

Smith: Oh my gosh! Hood! Aidan Collins…is it real? Is it true?

Hood: I fucking love this guy! Holy shit! Please let this be true!

~"Blockbuster Night One" by Run the Jewels begins to play to a massive ovation! The man himself, Aidan Collins emerges atop the stage. The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT!” upon seeing the man. He pauses, showing tremendous presence. It’s obvious this is the type of reaction he expected. And why not? He’s the man. Collins walks down the ramp taking in the response as though its earned rather than appreciated. He heads up the stairs and enters into the ring. He reaches out and shakes the hand of Marcus Welsh. Welsh is happier than we can remember. The only moment that rivals this is when he announced the signing of Matt Meyhu. Aidan’s music comes to an end but the fans continue to chant “HOLY SHIT!” Collins eyes Welsh as if to say “I told ya. Good move, boss.” Welsh places the mic under his arm and claps, giving Collins the ovation he deserves. The crowd ceases their cursing and offers a standing ovation for Collins~

Smith: What a moment! This man is an icon in the sport, Hood. His arrival is going to impact everything about OCW

Hood: I know we sign talent all the time…but every once in a while we sign someone special. And not the retard kind of special. I’m talking about a game changer…a wrestler so talented that there is no ‘if’ only a ‘when’ in regards to their ascension unto the OCW throne. Collins is a future OCW Champion, Smith. Book it.

Smith: The man is talented but there are many others in this company who are not going to step aside, allowing him an open path to the title. One man, in particular, is Matt Meyhu

Hood: Please don’t mention Meyhu and Collins together. I don’t think my brain can handle that type of awesomeness.

~Welsh is about to hand over the mic when ”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy hits! The fans cheer out of habit. It’s ALICE KNIGHT…their favorite. She emerges from behind the curtain looking sad. She leans over the side of the ramp and inspects Owlie. The man dressed as an owl is still down. She turns and looks into the ring. She marches down the ramp with a stern look. This is an angry Alice. She gets into the ring and looks Aidan up and down. She then eyes Welsh~

Marcus Welsh: What the hell are you doing out here? You’re ruining this moment!

~Alice asks for a mic. Belvedere happily obliges. She takes the mic and speaks~

Alice Knight: Did you really have to do that to Owlie? That was so mean!

Marcus Welsh: Alice, please, go away. This is Aidan’s moment! You’ll get your chance next week. Your chance to say goodbye to OCW, that is.

~The crowd boos~

Alice Knight: THIS is the new FACE of OCW? Pssh, looks like just another face to me! A face I’m gonna punch.

~The crowd laughs for some reason~

Smith: Haha! Right on, Alice!

Hood: Seriously? That wasn’t even funny, man

Alice Knight: I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of this guy before. Is he related to that Genesis guy? No, not Gabriel. The other one…the bald one.

~Collins looks at Welsh as if to say “Really? This is the best she’s got?” Welsh shrugs~

Marcus Welsh: Aidan, meet Alice Knight.

~A huge OWL IS NIGHT! chant breaks out. Aidan looks around, puzzled at the ovation this woman is receiving. She is indeed an anomaly. A true OCW treasure. Alice smiles and points to the crowd~

Alice Knight: Hmm, sounds like the fans are behind me, Mr. Face. Perhaps I should be the next face of the company. What do you think of that –

~Collins rips the mic away from Alice. The crowd boos heavily. He is new and exciting and the fans are happy he’s here…but they love, love, love them some Alice Knight. Alice tilts her head back, surprised that Collins acted in such a manner~

Aidan Collins: Everyone here should know who I am…but, you know, everyone in this arena should also know how to brush their teeth, how to manage their diet, and how to take a fucking shower. So as I look around this arena at a bunch of toothless, obese, stinky inbreds, it appears that it is my responsibility to remind you all who I am.

~The crowd begins to boo Aidan. He grins at the reaction, feeling at home in the ring~

Smith: Well, that didn’t take long!

Hood: The man knows how to work a crowd, Smith. A true main event player!

Aidan Collins: And plus, I’m pretty much the shit, so it’s fun to take a stroll down memory lane and run through my accomplishments.

~Marcus seems very pleased in the way Aidan is handling himself. He motions for Alice to listen as Aidan speaks.~

Aidan Collins: The name ‘Aidan Collins’ is synonymous with being top dog. I’ve held the top belt in every place I’ve strolled into and spent significant time in. I am a former XWF Universal Champion and the first person voted into that federation’s Hall of Fame, having held nearly every title in that company… you know, except for the one for bitches. No offense, Alice.

~Alice glares at Aidan, already sick of his antics.~

Aidan Collins: From there, I burst onto the scene at WGWF, where I won their World Championship. You starting to notice a theme here?... Well, in WGWF, they called me Mr. 100 because if you were to grade my performances there, you’d have no choice but to give me a perfect 100. It was a widely reported occurrence that audience members would orgasm at the sight of me in the ring.

~Aidan nods at the crowd while mouthing the words “it’s true”.~

Aidan Collins: From there, it was onto the ECWF, where I won their World Title…and then it was onto WWH, where the history books show me as having won the World Title.

~A few members of the audience yell out in protest, as Aidan never technically held the WWH World Title. He did hold the Hellsgate Title, the top title on the Hellsgate brand, but he was only declared a former WWH World Champion retroactively. Aidan pays no attention to the naysayers.~

Aidan Collins: I am Da Bliz, The Rebel, The Devil, The Cool…but here in OCW, you just call me King Infinity, because I am the best of all time and that’s something I’m going to prove to all of you when I take Alice apart at Serial Thrillers.

~The crowd boos at Aidan’s definitive statement of arrogance. Welsh gives a raucous applause…he’s almost emotionally moved by Aidan’s words. Alice rolls her eyes. The crowd cheers. Once again they begin to chant “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” Alice motions for a mic. Welsh, realizing there’s no way she can top Aidan’s words, hands the mic over~

Alice Knight: Impressive. You’ve made quite the name for yourself in every promotion you’ve competed in. Great signing, Welsh. There’s just one problem, Aidan. This isn’t every promotion. This is OCW. Here in OCW we don’t do things like other promotions. We are wild and unpredictable. Isn’t that right, commish?

~The crowd is all like “Huh? What?!” Collins turns toward Welsh wondering what’s going on. Welsh shrugs. The OCWTron turns on and we see ZYBALA backstage. He’s securing Puffer's signature before facing the camera~

Mike Zybala: Hey! Nice signing, Welsh! Speaking of signings, I’ve just about got enough for that tournament. Looks like that idea is a go. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to address the new FACE of OCW. And, well, more specifically his debut match.

~The crowd cheers. Again Collins looks to Welsh. This wasn’t agreed upon or planned. It’s thrown their entire balance off~

Mike Zybala: Now I know you have the power to veto my decisions. Case in point being earlier tonight when you vetoed my idea for the Vargas/Meyhu match. That’s why I made sure to get your signature cementing that stipulation and one other! You see, not only was this contract a contract for my tournament…it was also a contract legalizing a stipulation for the OCW Title match AND a stipulation for Mr. Collins debut!

~The crowd leaps to their feet. Collins looks to Welsh asking “What’s he talking about?” Welsh has no idea. He rips the mic back from Alice~

Marcus Welsh: That’s impossible you idiot! I read that contract before I signed it. It read like something a fifth grader would type up.

Mike Zybala: Oh, did you now? You ever hear of something called disappearing, reappearing ink?

Smith: That exists?

Hood: I thought that was only in that Roger Rabbit movie

Smith: Our commissioner is proving to be VERY resourceful!

~Zybala turns the contract over to the blank side. Ink suddenly starts to appear. The crowd goes wild!!! Welsh looks to Collins, worried this might scare the new signing off~

Mike Zybala: Hmm, let’s see here. Yep, there it is. Halloween Horror match stip for the OCW Title. So that’s set…fans, you can thank me now and later for ridding you of that horrible Bullrope stipulation

~The crowd cheers because bullrope matches fucking suck~

Mike Zybala: And where is it…AH here it is! Collins will face Alice in a very Alice Knight kind of match. It will be a SPOOKY GHOST match!!!

~Without even knowing what this match is the fans go wild! It sounds like lunacy…which is probably why they love it. That and it’s pissing Welsh off~

Mike Zybala: Since this is a first in OCW allow me to rundown the rules. There will be several individuals around the ring. I’m thinking eight. They will be dressed under a white sheet…you know, dressed as a ghost! One of them will be the referee. In order to score a pinfall or submission you must uncover the ref making him active. Until you do that…you cannot win the match.

~The fans chant ‘SPOOKY GHOST! SPOOKY GHOST!’ Collins turns to Welsh~

Aidan Collins: I didn’t sign up for this.

Marcus Welsh: Calm down, Aidan. Calm down. He’s crazy…I’m sure…

~Welsh pauses. It’s hitting him that he cannot get out of this. His damn signature is attached to the stipulation~

Marcus Welsh: DAMNIT ZYBALA! Why do you have to fucking ruin everything?! This man is the FUTURE and you want to put him in a SPOOKY GHOST match? You are INSANE! This is why we can’t have nice things you idiot! I swear…I am going to make you pay, Zybala. I swear it!

Mike Zybala: Blah blah blah. Don’t give yourself a coronary, Welsh. And welcome to OCW, Collins! Can’t wait to see you wrestle Alice next week at Serial Thrillers!

~The OCWTron cuts to black. Welsh is apologizing profusely to Collins who appears less than thrilled with this announcement. Alice is snickering. Both men turn to her. She lets out a loud HOOT in celebration. She starts to flap her wings (arms). Aidan reaches out, snares her by the shoulder and spins her around, violently. He gets in her face. The fans go quiet~

Hood: Deck her, Aidan! Deck her right in that stupid face!

~Welsh suddenly thrusts himself between the two before things can escalate further~

Marcus Welsh: Not tonight! Save it for Serial Thrillers! Save it for Serial Thrillers! Come on, Aidan. She’s not worth it!

~Welsh is able to convince Aidan to back away. He ushers Aidan toward the ropes. Welsh parts the ropes to make Aidan’s exit easier. Alice remains in the ring. She starts to flap her wings (arms) again. The crowd boos Aidan leaving, at first. Their boos turn to cheers when they see Alice flapping around the ring. We hear Welsh tell Aidan repeatedly that he’s going to ‘make this right’. They head up the ramp~

Smith: Our General Manager is having a rough night

Hood: I can’t believe Zybala ruined the big announcement. I only hope Aidan Collins isn’t too upset by all of this nonsense

Smith: Well if he doesn’t like it he’s got an opportunity to do something about it next week against Alice. She represents the comedic side of this company. She’s the heart and soul of everything that makes OCW fun. If he were to put her down…

Hood: Stop it…you’re getting me all hot and bothered over here!

Smith: I’m just worried. Alice is like a sister to me. I just know Welsh is going to spend all week coming up with a plan. If something bad were to happen to Alice…I…I just don’t know

Hood: Man if something bad did happen to Alice forcing you to quit…that’d be the definition of killing two birds with one stone!

Smith: You disgust me. Well folks Aidan Collins is here in OCW and he makes his debut next week against Alice Knight! If Aidan were to win that match you’d have to imagine he’d be on the fast track to the OCW main event

Hood: No shit…who else can say they defeated a Hall of Famer in their debut match? This man is already set to make history!

Smith: Indeed.

~Outside the OCW Arena in Key West before the show (taped earlier, obviously), before Massacre! Which, this crack research team has noticed, is exactly one week before Serial Thrillers, and upon investigating this further, it is being reported that the OCW Craze Championship will be defended. There’s other belts on the line, but they are unimportant.~

~Outside though, the highly talented and uber popular OGDA is outside with the fans meeting his Rainbow Warriors, getting hugs, giving high fives, signing pictures and partaking in his most favorite hobby, having a selfie with all of his Little Buddies! It’s a hell of a party for the under 5 & 10 group, five foot tall and 10 years old. Even Spartacus is on hand for some loving, pets and pats and tummy rubs! OGDA is kneeling down on his knees spending a couple of minutes with each and every single fan, answering their questions and making this is the bestest day of the week!~

~Who’re, would normally interject herself here, asking some annoying questions about Mike Harrison and the upcoming match, but let’s face it. She doesn’t speak to the demo that management (Joe Jones) is trying to reach mainly because she can’t see on their level. The all important under 5 & 10 demo, Under 5 foot and 10 years old. Management (Joe Jones) wants someone who isn’t going to make OGDA feel weird (Something about boobs) in his "red zone", and wanted someone who can look that fan base in the eyes, someone who was on their level, physically (and TBH, mentally) speaking. Management (Joe Jones) found someone who fits the bill and hired him to be OGDA’s personal interviewer!~

~Insert and cleaned up, sober, fresh from taking a shower were he scrubbed all of that lady juice off of his face, wearing a nice suit and eye glasses to make him look smarter than he is, and did I mention sober? The Bad Ass turned reporter, James Kelloggs! And come on, kids love Kelloggs! James slowly make his way towards the center of the sea of madness with a OCW microphone in his hand.~

James Kelloggs: “Mr. OGDA, excuse me, pardon me. OGDA! Hello!”

~James has been told about a million times not to swear, make crude references about women, alcohol, drugs, etc. It was built into his contract not to and in fact is paid a bonus when he doesn’t.~

OGDA: “Mister Kelloggs! You made it! Mister Jones told me you would find me to ask me a couple of questions. Have you meet Molly here? She is a special Shooting Star.”

~Standing in front of OGDA is this little girl in pigtails and is wearing a homemade OGDA superhero tee shirt. She is very proud of her shirt she made last night to show OGDA. It has her being saved from a burning house by OGDA and Spartacus with her mommy standing under a tree dancing or something.~

James Kelloggs “I have not! It is a pleasure to meet you Molly. How are you?”

Molly “Good! See my Tee Shirt?”

James Kelloggs “Oh! How nice? What? What is going on Molly?”

Molly “This is what I wished happened last year. Our home was on fire and I needed to be saved. I wished OGDA would have saved me. I almost burned up!”

OGDA “Oh! Molly! I’m so sorry! You must have been so scared!”

Molly “I was.”

OGDA “But you got out though, right?”

Molly “Yes. A fireman rescued me. I asked him if he was OGDA, he was not. He was Brad.”

OGDA “Well, Mr. Brad, he’s a friend of mine. When I’m not around, I have several buddies like Firefighter Brad who help Shinning Stars like you. Firefighter Brad is a hero. A big time hero.”

Molly “Really?”

OGDA “Firefighter Brad is brave. He told me how much it meant to him to save you from the fire. I am so proud of him.”

~OGDA looks at James~

OGDA “Mister Kelloggs, what do you think of Molly’s t shirt? She made it herself.”

~James wants to tell OGDA, "You already asked me that fucking question! Stupid!" but he refrains from it.~

James Kelloggs “Oh, it’s very nice. Who is this under the tree?”

Molly “Mommy.”

James Kelloggs “What is Mommy doing?”

Molly “Twerking.”

OGDA “What’s that?”

~Standing behind Molly is of course, Mommy. A stunning brunette in a mini skirt, tight fitting tank top. Big ass, big boobs, a dirty smirk and winks at James. She’s a stripper and she blows a kiss at James.~

OGDA “Is that a dance I don’t know about? Mister James, what is twerking?”

~James is star struck. Like a junky who needs a fix, James is all in on Molly’s Mommy.~

James Kelloggs “The greatest dance you have ever seen…”

“JAMES! I NEED TO SEE YOU! NOW!” A voice booms out from off camera.

~We’ll be back in a couple of minutes.~

~"Killing ourselves to live" hit's the house PA, the lights strobing red, white, and blue in rapid succession. As the music hits, pyro explodes across the stage top. Through the curtains steps out The Legendary Trifecta, Rebel Rhodes and Legend Langston to a huge pop from the crowd. The two are decked out in full ring gear with championship titles resting comfortably on their shoulders. The Rebel's head nods to the beat as she and Langston head straight for the ring. While Langston seems a bit more reserved, a forced smile or two spreading across his face, the Rebel is busy slapping hands with fans and chatting them up with a huge smile on hers~

~Reaching ringside, the two give each other a nod, then rush for the ring as if in a race, sliding under the ropes at the exact same time. Melinda rolls to a low crouch with her belt held up high in both hands while Langston hops to a stand right behind her doing the same. All four ring posts explode with pyro streams that quickly die down~

Crowd: TRI-FECT-AH! TRI-FECT-AH! TRI-FECT-AH!!!

~The Rebel hops to her feet and motions for a microphone, which gets tossed right to her.~

Rebel: WHAZZUP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF KEY WEST FFFLLLLOOOORIDAAAAHHH????!!!!

*HUGE CHEAP POP!*

~Melinda nods with a smile, adjusting her belt on her shoulder~

Rebel: Tonight, me and Vinnie aren't booked, but we came out here with an open challenge to anyone who wants a crack at these titles. Could be you guys in the crowd, could be someone in the back, ANY TEAM who wants to step into this ring has a shot at these belts.

~Suddenly "Wasted Generation" by Steel Dragon hits the house P/A! Out steps a pair of young modestly built and well tanned guys in orange shorts, black sneakers, matching black and orange "Wasted Youth" tank tops and very brotherly in appearance. One is tall with long wavy black hair while the other is a bit shorter and has puffy black hair with a red dyed streak and a rather defined jawline. Behind them followed Referee Puff ready to officiate. The man with a shock of red hair brings the microphone to his lips and shouts out~

Shorter man: MELINDA RRRRRHHHHOOODDDEEESSS!!! I'm a huge fan and I've always wanted to be in the ring with you one day! Me and my brother Johnny formed a tag team called The Wasted Youths and I've dreamed of this day for a long time!

~Melinda nods, arms crossed over chest as Langston looks at them with an odd quirk of his brow~

Shorter Man: You see WE ARE THE SUPER CLEAN ULTRA MEAN SUPER LEAN GREEN KILLING MMMMAAACCCCHHHHIIIINNNEEESSSSUUUAAAHHH!!! WE ARE.... *whispering* The Wasted Youths....

Both together: ...NNNNNIIIICCCCCK AND JJJJOOOOOOHHHHNNNNAAAAAYYYYYY SSSSTTTEEEENNNNNAAAAHHHH!!!

~The Rebel and Vinnie turn and confer for a moment, then give a couple nods and look back to the entrance arch~

Rebel: A challenge is a challenge. Step inside gentlemen. May fortune favor the bold tonight!

~The two jump for joy and rush into the ring. They blather at the Rebel and Vinnie who both kind of nod and smile. Referee Puff slips into the ring and asks for the belts, which Vinnie and Mel give up to him, then motions for the bell!~

*DING DING DING!*

~Johnny and Vinnie start the match off with Nick and Mel stepping out onto the apron. Immediately the two lock up and it's quickly apparent that Johnny is in over his head as The Legend backs him up. Johnny quickly falls back, attempting a backroll throw but Langston explosively throws his arms off, letting the young man fall back on the canvas. He rolls to his feet and bursts at him with a running shoulder tackle, which nearly rocks Vincent off his feet. Johnny hops up, rushes for the ropes and snaps off right into a catch and a spinning scoop with a Falcon Arrow slam finish! Langston hops to his feet with a roar as Johnny lays there, cringing in pain with his back arched on the canvas!~

Smith: You have to admire the courage of these two individuals showing up to face the OCW Tag Team Champions like this

Hood: Or question their sanity

Smith: Bravery doesn’t always translate into intelligence

~Vinnie promptly makes a pinfall attempt, only for Johnny Steen to throw his shoulder up, showing the kid had plenty of fight left.~

Smith: Still some fight left in that young man!

Hood: Well I’d hope so, the match just started!

~Vincent rises, pulling Johnny up by one arm and booting him in the gut, then whipping him to the ropes. No one notices Nick make a blind tag as Vincent catches Johnny with a double arm DDT right into a roll up pin, THE SCARS OF WAR!!!!~

Smith: Nick with the tag! Langston didn’t see it

Hood: Guy needs to brush up on his in ring awareness

Smith: He has enjoyed a lot of success but let’s not let that hide the fact that he’s still a rookie in the ring

~Johnny's out cold, but Vincent doesn't get why the ref isn't counting. Suddenly a low orbit dropkick to the side rocks him as Nick Steen crosses the entire length of the ring, catching Langston off guard! Langston rolls from the shot and gets to his feet, promptly rushing back at Nick who ducks around Langston and attempts a German Suplex. Langston hooks one of Nick's legs, then catches him in a sideheadlock, whipping him straight to the canvas.~

Smith: Nice recovery by The Legend!

Hood: Talent can sure make up for inexperience

Smith: Indeed

~Big Vinnie pops to his feet and rolls to his corner to tag in an eager Melinda Rhodes! The Rebel bursts across the ring, catching Nick Steen with a running leap clothesline, rocking him right off his feet!~

Smith: And here comes The Rebel!

Hood: Last week Vincent did all the heavy lifting. This week Rhodes appears to be the one who will benefit from Langston’s hard work

Smith: I’m not sure how hard his work was, really. But I get your point

~Johnny Steen just happens to get up in time for Rhodes to see him and drop him to the canvas once more with a hard standing dropkick that sends him rolling out of the ring clutching at his chest. Nick rushes in with a grapple from behind and this time succeeds with his German Suplex attempt, but the Rebel backflips with it, landing on her feet and crouching low! Nick gets to his feet, arms in the air with a loud woop, thinking he'd bested Rhodes!~

Smith: Never assume anything in the ring!

Hood: Fucking idiot

Smith: I think he’s just a little over excited

~He turns around and immediately is rocked off his feet with a gut busting RHODES KILL SPEAR!!! Melinda hops to her feet with a loud "AAAWWWWAAAAAOOOOOOOOOooooo!"~

Smith: HUUUUGE spear by Rhodes! Man she nearly cut him in half!

Hood: She wrestles so angry!

Smith: She’s inspired every time she enters into a ring, Hood. That’s why she’s so passionate while competing

~She then hops onto the nearest turnpost, crouching low, only to spot Johnny Steen rushing into the ring to stop her. Langston suddenly slips through the ropes, catching Johnny with a hard boot to the gut, then slipping the young man onto his shoulders. Rhodes shoots a devilish grin, nodding as Langston steps back from her. Rhodes leaps with a shooting star front flip as Langston dips forward. She catches Johnny in a front facelock, hitting her Rebel Star DDT along with Langston adding stank on it with an Electric chair drop. A little double team move they call.... THE LEGENDARY STAR DROP!~

Smith: What a move! Legendary Star Drop! My goodness if they can hit that on BroCode next Monday at Serial Thrillers they will undoubtedly retain their tag titles

Hood: They won’t hit that move on BroCode. BroCode is going to annihilate these two

Smith: How you continue to sell Legendary Trifecta short I’ll never understand

~It was as the Rebel and Langston get to their feet that Nick Steen rushes at the they both duck, with Melinda catching him with a backdrop lift onto one shoulder. Langston grips him with an inverted 3/4th's hold and together they drop with a backdrop neckbreaker. Rhodes rolls across Nick on impact as Vinnie slips back, letting the ref do his thing!~

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

TTTTHHHRREEEE!!!

*DING DING DING*

Belvedere: THE WINNERS OF THIS IMPROMPTU MATCH AND STILL THE OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... REBEL RHODES AND THE LEGEND VINCENT LANGSTON.... LLLLLLEGENDARY TTTTTRRRIIIIIFFFEEECCCCTTTAAA!!!

*HUGE CROWD POP!*

~Rhodes rises with Vinnie, raising his hand in the air, then he does likewise, pointing to her as well. Referee puff passes them the belts which they hoist high into the air. As "Killing ourselves to Live" by Halestorm hits the house P/A once more~

Smith: Impressive victory by Legendary Trifecta! They look better than ever

Hood: To be fair they whipped a couple of dorks

Smith: I don’t care. These two are unbeaten as a team and I just don’t see that changing next week

Hood: You dare doubt Jacob Hotstuff?

Smith: I’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THIS MAN WRESTLE LIVE

Hood: That’s because he’s too good to compete on a weekly basis. He’s our savior

Smith: Whatever

~The celebration is shortly lived. A brief static interrupts the current reigning OCW Tag Team Champions before booting up the tron on an image of Bruce Rage and Jacob Hotstuff….totally harshing the mood and good vibes of the crowd after witnessing such a dominant victory by the champions.~

Bruce Rage: Yooooo! Hey, you two. Loooosseerrrsss!!

~Mel and Vincent feign visible annoyance at the overly loud hired muscle to OCW’s meal ticket, before Langston fires back~

Vincent Langston: Losers? Wouldn’t part of being called a “loser” be predicated on uhh, I don’t know, losing a match? Which we certainly didn’t just do.

Melinda Rhodes: Easy on the big words there, I don’t even think Bruce knows anything with more than two syllables!

~On the tron, Mel’s words clearly get under Bruce’s skin, despite poor attempts to mask his composure.~

Bruce Rage: Say it again Butch! I got half a mind to go down there and --

Melinda Rhodes: Now see Vincent, there he goes exaggerating again!

~The Trifecta is all grins and jokes, which is clearly a shared feeling with the OCW faithful too, who seem quite taken by the champs taking liberties with their challengers. The light-heartedness does not last long, however.~

Jacob Hotstuff: Yeah that’s right, make jokes...like that joke of a ‘man’ you call a husband. How’s the old bugger anyway?

~The time for laughs and jovial matters is not the present as Mel turns stonefaced with attention directed onto the loudmouth Hollywood Star!~

Jacob Hotstuff: Aww, what’s the matter? Is someone a sourpuss because she couldn’t reserve a hospital bed next to her limpdick husband? Well whose fault is that? You’ve known what your future is going to be ever since the match was made official. It’s not OUR fault that you chose to ignore the warnings. Our gameplan isn’t some guarded secret, look only to Tolson, Hawkins, Blaze...and countless others, to know what exactly is in your future for daring to believe you could stand opposed to the upper class of professional wrestling.

Bruce Rage: Next week at Serial Thrillers, we’re gonna bring new meaning to the term Bros Before…..

~Bruce and Jacob look to each other with a smirk, then direct their attention to Mel.~

Bro Code (in unison): Hoes!

Jacob Hotstuff: Were we supposed to be scared? You two came out here, the plug-n-play champions you are and with a couple of kids who are barely out of high school, to show you could “work together” to beat them? Like that’s supposed to send a message, as if those two are even a fraction as good as what the Bro Code really means for the O...C…

~Jacob allows his voice to trail off while the arena shoots into disapproving boos! The cameraman, rushing to the commotion, quickly pans around to see Bruce Rage leap from the barricade with Jacob Hotstuff in close pursuit! Bruce slides under the ring noisily, prompting the attention of the Tag Team Champions. Jacob slides in on the other side while Langston moves to intercept Bruce, tossing him out in one fluid motion! Bravely, Jacob steps right in front of Mel and points at his face, just begging her to hit him. She rears back, but instead goes low with a kick to the gut, doubling over the brash movie star! Quickly Mel waves her hand in front of her face, likely insinuating that was invisible, then picked up Jacob onto her shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry! With one breath, she tosses Jacob from his resting place - except that Bruce barely jumps up on the apron in time to grab his bro by the foot and drag him out of the ring! Langston sits on the middle rope and pulls up on the top rope, shouting at the two~

Vincent Langston: Come on in, we’re just getting warmed up!

~Already making their way up the aisle, Bruce boosts Jacob up to his shoulders in a seated position, where his intentions are more than clear~

Bruce Rage Nah, we’re not doing this right now, we’re saving it all for Serial Thrillers! Those belts are as good as ours!

Jacob Hotstuff: Where you can pretend you’re Mel Gibson in Braveheart, because you’re gonna bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!

Smith: BroCode and Legendary Trifecta! We are only one week away…what a match that will be.

Hood: Syren is my all time favorite…so don’t misconstrue what I’m about to say. I think BroCode will definitely be Legendary Trifecta’s biggest challenge in tag competition

Smith: Oh no doubt. I have no clue how good Hotstuff is inside the ring. But when it comes to mind games and strategy he’s worth every penny

Hood: That’s what Rage is there for. The guy is like a mentally stable Iggy Hardy

Smith: Well that remains to be seen. Can Legendary Trifecta defend their OCW Tag Team Titles or will BroCode unseat the champions? Tune in next Monday to find out!

~James Kelloggs is pushing his OCW step stool across the floor to next to OGDA as they both have moved inside to a more proper location. Once he has it where he wants it, he picks up the OCW mic, climbs up his step stool and is now almost eye level with OGDA.~

James “OGDA. Firstly, thanks for your time. You have a bunch of fans out there who all want to meet you.”

OGDA “No problem Mister Kelloggs”

James “Now, let’s talk about next week.”

OGDA “Is it just me, or does it feel like next week is never going to get here? I can’t wait for Serial Thrillers.”

James “Serial Thrillers is now just seven days away. What does that show mean to you?”

OGDA “It means so much to me. Like, I set a goal, a goal of just being booked on the show. I missed the last big show, missed it. No match, the fans, my Rainbow Warriors, Shining Stars, my Little Buddies couldn’t see me wrestle someone, anyone, and they were sad. They told me so. Some went home and cried their little eyes out. So I made a promise to them, to me, to Mister Jones, to Mister Welsh, that I will have a match on Serial Thrillers! And! Well! Here I am Mister Kelloggs! Getting ready to wrestle Mister Harrison for that OCW Craze Championship! I, I just can’t wait! It’s killing me! I mean, not actually killing me, you know what I mean.”

James “What do you think of our Craze Champion? Mike Harrison.”

OGDA “He seems like a nice guy. I have yet to meet him. I looked for him here tonight. Seems like I entered every room he just left. I just want to tell him good luck in our wrestling match next week that’s all.”

~OGDA crosses his arms.~

James “But?”

OGDA “This is my first ever title match. I have been close a couple of times roughly a year ago, but those matches never happened. All of my Rainbow Warriors, my Shining Stars, each and every single one of my Little Buddies, that ask me all the time, when am I going to win a championship. It would mean so much to them. It would mean so much to me too. To be able to bring that belt home and show it to Sparky, that I have won the biggest wrestling match of my career.”

~OGDA looks up at the camera~

OGDA “Next week at Serial Thrillers, I, OGDA, I’m walking out to that ring and I’m having a wrestling match for that Craze Championship. I’m winning that title. I’m going to make Mister Harrison my newest friend and after our wrestling match, we’ll sing You are my Sunshine and we’ll have a glass of milk and some Oreo cookies. But, I’m beating Mister Harrison for that belt. Make no mistake…”

~OGDA crack his knuckles.~

OGDA “About that!”

~OGDA nods and leaves.~

James “Thank you and good luck OGDA.”

~Then James stares in the direction that OGDA went to for no reason whatsoever. A blank stare……~

Smith: OGDA will face Mike Harrison at Serial Thrillers next Monday for the Craze Championship. That match should be something

Hood: I have to go with Harrison. The guy is just too good

Smith: What about the stipulation...a Halloween Neighborhood Brawl

Hood: Fuck...are you serious? I guess that has to help OGDA

Smith: Being a veteran I'm sure Mike Harrison has been through it all. That match will be a great one, no doubt. It will DEFINITELY be better than our next match which, sadly, is the main event

Hood: Let's go Meyhu!

Smith: Ugh...let's head down to ringside for this charade

Main Event
Non-Title Match
“The Marvel” Matt Meyhu (22-2) vs. The Uber Man (2-3)

~The crowd is abuzz. It’s been a night of tremendous announcements during the build toward Serial Thrillers. There’s one match left to go…the most controversial match of the evening. Many fans in the crowd display looks of concern…concern over Uber Man’s health and safety. Belvedere clears his throat~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our main event of the evening! This match is a Non-Title Match and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…

~“Hero” by Nickelback begins to play! The crowd goes wild! A loud “UUUUUUBER” chant fills the arena. The Uber Man appears from behind the curtain looking as heroic as he can possibly look. He rushes down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He pops to his feet, ready for combat~

Belvedere: From Rancho Cucamonga, California…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 195lbs…The Uber Man!!!

~Uber hops around, eagerly~

Smith: Does he not understand what he’s getting into?

Hood: He’s an idiot, Smith. He probably thinks he’s facing Jack Puffer or something

Smith: I mean I know it’s a main event and everything which is pretty cool for a guy like Uber. But he’s facing Meyhu. Perhaps the realization hasn’t quite hit him yet

“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…”

~“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits as the lights dim. Green lights flicker throughout the arena as Matt Meyhu walks slowly out onto the ramp. Matt poses for the fans with a smirk on his face, receiving a chorus of boos. He shrugs them off and walks down the ramp, ignoring fans who reach out to him, until he reaches the ring apron. He hops up onto it and grabs the top rope before vaulting over into the ring. Matt lands and hops up and down a few times before making his way over to his corner. He climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle and poses once more for the fans, oblivious to the reaction he is getting. He laughs as he hops down and takes his place in the corner~

Belvedere: And, his opponent…from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the OCW Champion…he is “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu!!!

~The crowd boos heavily. Belvedere reaches for the OCW Title around Meyhu’s waist but the champ turns him away. Belvedere shrugs and exits. The bell is about to ring when MORE boos pour down throughout the arena. Everyone turns to the ramp to find Marcus Welsh heading back down to ringside with a smile on his face. He reaches the announce table and takes the mic from Belvedere who is stationed nearby~

Marcus Welsh: Calm down, calm down…I’m not out here to harm your precious little Uber Man. I’m simply down here to make an exciting announcement.

Smith: I don’t care what he says there’s no way in heck this announcement will be anything but bad news for Uber Man

Hood: Which makes it an exciting announcement!

Marcus Welsh: This match is no longer a traiditional singles match. This is now an no disqualification LUMBERJACK MATCH!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO

Marcus Welsh: Come on down, Lumberjacks!

Smith: What the…this is worse than I imagined!

Hood: What do you mean? These lumberjacks are down here to preserve the integrity of the match

Smith: Then why is it NO DQ

Hood: I don’t know

Smith: AND WHY ARE ALL THE LUMBERJACKS GUYS WELSH RECRUITED EARLIER IN THE EVENING?

Hood: These are all excellent questions

~Harrison, Houston, Hernandez, Knux, Barry Man is Low, Muffles, Langston, Paralysis, Vossler, and TLS all reach the ring, surrounding it to fill their promised roles. Welsh drops the mic. An audible ‘boom’ is heard as the mic hits the ground. The bell rings. Welsh takes a seat next to Smith and Hood~

Welsh: Gentlemen

Smith: Mr. Welsh

Welsh: I know you hate what’s going on right now, Smith. No need to act like you don’t. Your contract was grandfathered in when I took over so, sadly, you’re untouchable

Smith: Well in that case…THIS IS AN ABOMINATION

Hood: Why is Muffles out here? I thought he was murdered on live TV last week?

Smith: For starters, he wasn’t murdered, Hood. He was simply beaten up. And…that’s not Warren Lapierre. Someone else is beneath that mask

Welsh: Valid points, Hood. Extremely valid

~Uber is petrified. He looks around knowing he’s fucked. Meyhu smiles. He slowly removes the belt and holds it by one strap. He looks at Uber and motions for Uber to come toward him. Uber wants to leave but can’t. Knux and Paralysis are looking up at him. He turns to the other side and sees Vossler and Houston staring him down. So, he slowly approaches the champ~

Smith: This isn’t going to be good

Hood: You never know, the champ may give Uber a chance to touch the belt

Welsh: The champ is a charitable man

Hood: That he is, boss!

~Meyhu holds the belt up giving Uber a look. He then sticks his chin out asking Uber to hit him. Uber is afraid. Meyhu encourages him. So, Uber reaches back and punches Meyhu in the face!! Meyhu’s head turns to the left. He moves his jaw back and forth and starts to laugh. Uber lowers his head in shame~

Smith: Poor Uber

Hood: Weak ass punch

Welsh: You have to admire the champ, gentlemen. He’s giving Uber the chance to get his shit in

Hood: He’s a great man

~Several of the wrestlers outside the ring look on with conflicted expressions. They are merely out there to benefit their careers knowing that crossing the boss could be crippling. A few others, though, like Paralysis and Vossler seem to be enjoying what’s taking place. Langston appears unmoved, merely taking in the scene. Meyhu gives his arm to Uber and says “Go ahead, do something, c’mon.” Uber grabs Meyhu’s arm and he tries an armbar. But he’s awkward and unable to really do anything. It’s apparent the extent of his wrestling knowledge stems from watching rather than learning~

Smith: This is enough. Let’s just end this before he gets hurt

Welsh: I wouldn’t worry about the champ, Smith. I’m sure he’ll be fine

Smith: With all due respect, boss I was talking about Uber Man

Hood: Who the fuck cares about Uber Man?

~Meyhu is laughing, enjoying himself. Uber lets go of the arm and tries a spinning back kick. He misses his target and drills Meyhu in the groin!! Meyhu doubles over and winces in pain. The crowd goes “ooooohhhh”. Uber pauses, his mouth drops open and his chin quivers in fear~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: It’s all fun and games until someone gets kicked in the balls

Welsh: That was totally uncalled for. I figured a Zybala guy would be the first to use a No DQ match to their advantage

~Meyhu rises, slowly. His expression has changed. We’re getting ‘not fucking around’ Matt Meyhu from this point forward. Uber holds his hands up and tries to apologize but Meyhu isn’t listening. He reaches back and bitch slaps the fuck out of Uber!! Uber falls to all fours from the impact. Meyhu looks at his title and he reaches back and WHIPS Uber across the back!! He does this again and again and again, whipping Uber like a bitch. Uber is finally face down on the mat after being lashed several times with the belt. The back of his green superhero attire is torn and tattered. We see deep red streaks across his exposed back. The fans are angry and irate. Several fans who should probably reevaluate their lives are shown with tears in their eyes~

Smith: Okay that’s enough!

Welsh: But I thought Uber wanted to be a wrestler. We’re simply giving him the opportunity to compete at the highest level. Are you insinuating that he doesn’t have what it takes?

Smith: I think you know what’s going on here, sir. Please put an end to it.

Hood: Shut up, Smith!

~The crowd pops! Zybala rushes out from behind the curtain. He’s got a look of extreme concern on his face. He’s about to run down the ramp when CURT CANON emerges. He gets in front of Zybala and talks some sense to him. Zybala isn’t hearing it, at first, trying to get around Canon. But Canon does his best to hold Zybala back~

Smith: If Zybala interferes then Uber will be fired!

Welsh: Decisions, decisions

Hood: Hey boss, look! Two midgets playing with each other at the top of the ramp!

Welsh: That’s a good one, Hood!

~Zybala finally listens to reason and stops. Canon turns and stands next to him as they watch what’s taking place. Zybala lowers his head, shaking it feeling a great bit of grief and perhaps responsibility over what’s happening to his beloved Uber Man. Meyhu points at Zybala and yells “CHECK THIS OUT!” He steps on the back of Uber’s neck and doesn’t move. Uber kicks and screams. His screams echo throughout a silent arena. The arena starts to boo. Meyhu laughs and keeps his balance and weight on the back of Uber’s neck. Zybala turns away, refusing to watch. Canon starts to swell with anger~

Smith: Even Curt is finding this hard to stomach!

Welsh: Well if Canon wants to do something about it I’m sure he could run down there and try

Hood: I think he’s afraid of Ed, boss

Welsh: Apparently so

~We spot Mack O’Connor leaning against the barricade with his arms folded. He looks on with a scowl. We can pretty much guess that he’s not a huge fan of what’s taking place either. Meyhu steps off Uber’s neck and yanks him to his feet. He drops him with EGO TRIP! The crowd boos. Meyhu pops back to his feet~

Smith: Pin him! Get it over with!

Hood: Why? So he can be rusty against Vargas? I think he should continue working on that finisher

Welsh: Hood knows what this is all about

~Meyhu pulls Uber to his feet and hits another EGO TRIP!! Zybala almost runs down the ramp but is again restrained by Canon. Meyhu arrogantly reaches his feet. He snares Uber by the head and yanks the near lifeless man back to his feet. The crowd is chanting “FUCK YOU MEYHU” The Marvel couldn’t care less. He drops Uber with a third…A THIRD EGO TRIP! Uber might be dead. The crowd is incensed. Zybala drops to one knee in despair. Canon starts to walk down to the ring. He’s seen enough. Ed and Andrea Hernandez get in his way. They obviously sympathize with the situation but their hands are forced~

Smith: There is no love lost between Ed and Curt but I think even the rocket man would admit that this might be going too far

Hood: That’s because Ed is an idiot!

Welsh: Easy now, Hood. He is down there supporting the right cause

Hood: True. The man is wise beyond his years

~Meyhu pulls Uber up for another Ego Trip. How many ego trips is he going to drop Uber with? He has Uber locked. Suddenly, MUFFLES slides into the ring! He slides in from behind the CHAMP! The crowd reacts with cheers. The arrogant CHAMP thinks they are cheering him on. Perhaps they have finally seen the light~

Smith: Muffles! Yes! He’s seen enough!

Welsh: What the?! I didn’t even invite him down there!

Hood: You didn’t?

Welsh: No! I just saw him come out and assumed he was one of the good guys

Hood: FUCKIN MUFFLES!

~Muffles shoves Uber away and spins Meyhu around. He drops Meyhu with THE STROKE!!! The crowd LEAPS to their feet! They chant ‘YES’!!! Meyhu is face down on the mat. Muffles reaches up and removes the mask to reveal…CHAD VARGAS~

Smith: It’s VARGAS!

Welsh: Somebody get in there and beat him down! BEAT HIM DOWN

~Mack, as if hearing Welsh, slides into the ring to confront Vargas. He shoves Vargas in the chest. Vargas gets in Mack’s face and cusses him out. Mack nods.

Smith: I can’t believe Mack is doing this

Welsh: Money talks, Smith

Hood: Mack knows what’s best for business. He knows the man who authorizes his salary

~Both Vargas and Mack pause. They smile and then start to stomp on Meyhu!!! The crowd is going crazy~

Smith: That’s the Mack I know!

Welsh: That baldheaded son of a whore! Word to the wise, people, never trust a fucking drunk

Hood: Right on, boss!

~Welsh stands up and yells at the lumberjacks to get involved! They do as instructed. They hit the ring to fight Vargas and O’Connor!! Hernandez gets after Mack first! Mack and Vargas do their best. They are able to take Knux and Barry down before being overwhelmed by the numbers. The crowd starts to boo~

Smith: It’s broken down out here! Vargas and Mack are about to suffer some serious injuries if this isn’t stopped

Hood: That’s because they are idiots! This is well deserved and a long time coming

~Treat appears at the top of the ramp next to Zybala and Canon. He puts his fingers into his mouth and whistles loudly. “MOTHER FUCKING INTENSITY” blasts throughout the arena as Iggy Hardy flies through the curtain and sprints down the ring!! He slides in and starts brawling with the lumberjacks!! Langston finds Iggy and the two come to blows! Canon, realizing what’s going on hustles down and slides in. He jumps onto Ed Houston, taking him into a corner! The crowd is going wild! Hernandez snares Mack’s arm and locks in her Fujiwara Armbar!! Mack grimaces in pain. Vargas is getting stomped by Paralysis and Vossler. Harrison is about to join the fun with Uber grabs him by the leg~

Smith: Oh no, Uber! Get out of there! This is no place for a tender man such as yourself

Hood: Tender? Good lord

~Harrison pulls Uber up and tosses him out of the ring! Is it an act of violence or compassion? Uber hits hard. The crowd pops when they see OGDA rushing down. He slides into the ring and SPEARS HARRISON!! The crowd goes wild!! Harrison grabs his midsection and rolls out of the ring~

Smith: Chaos! We’ve got chaos at ringside!

Hood: I love it!

~Hellraven appears from out of the crowd. She hops onto the apron. Vossler goes after her. She pulls down on the top rope and Vossler falls to the outside. He lands on his feet and stumbles into the announce table. Hellraven leaps off the apron and on top of Vossler, punching him in the head! Welsh stands up with wide eyes. He rushes over and grabs Knux and Barry. He gives them instructions. They put their arms around him and escort him toward the ramp…they go down the side of the ramp to avoid Zybala who is standing at the top, observing the action. The crowd boos~

Smith: And our GM is out of here!

Hood: Protect the brains of the operation! Look at Zybala…you see, this is what happens when you throw Zybala into the equation…MADNESS

~Everyone is brawling at this point. OGDA stays after Harrisoin. Hellraven and Vossler trade punches. Andrea continues to crank on Mack’s arm. Langston and Iggy are brawling. It’s total chaos. The fans are going wild. A “SERIAL THRILLERS” chant begins. Meyhu is missing. Vargas is fighting with Paralysis. He clotheslines Paralysis over the top rope and looks around. He yells “WHERE THE FUCK IS MEYHU?!” A fan at ringside points and yells “THERE HE IS!” We see Meyhu stand upright after being pointed out. He hurries to get away. Vargas runs toward the side of the ring and leaps over the top rope!!! He clears the top rope, barely, and lands on top of Meyhu, taking him down!! The crowd cheers!~

Smith: Oh man!! Vargas is fired up!

Hood: The entire card is going to be spent by the time Serial Thrillers gets here!

Smith: What a preview! What a mess! What a moment! Classic OCW right here! Serial Thrillers is one week away, everyone and if this doesn’t get your blood pumping, I don’t know what will

Hood: There isn’t a Kleenex left in any wrestling’s bedroom right now, Smith

Smith: Gross

Hood: hey, I’m just stating facts

Smith: Well that’s all the time we have tonight, everyone! For Hood I’m Smith saying good night and see you next week LIVE from New Orleans!

~We get one final shot of all the wrestlers who are facing each other (most of them, anyway) brawling and doing battle in a very chaotic, uncontrolled manner. We fade out~