OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, September 3rd 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Staring at our Fantasy Football draft board from last night we reach a painful conclusion which also happens to be a curious question – why the fuck did we draft Rashaad Penny in the fourth round? Blame it on the Twisted Teas. Anyway…that was then, this is now. It’s Massacre time! The OCW logo followed by the Massacre graphic appears on screen. We cut to a live audience full of RABID OCW fans~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me is Hood!
Hood: Yea, I’m here as always. Why do we work on Labor Day? Isn’t that sort of the anti-thesis of the holiday?
Smith: Not in the entertainment industry
Hood: So you’re saying I should have been an accountant?
Smith: Only if you like numbers
Hood: WEAK ASS MAJOR
Smith: Well folks…this is the portion of the show where I normally wax poetic about the tremendous lineup we have in store. However, with it being a national holiday and Mayhem on the Midway one week away…tonight is, well, it’s going to be a shorter show than usual
Hood: So this is kind of a half day?
Smith: If that’s how you choose to look at it
Hood: It is!
Smith: Mr. Brightside over here
Hood: The power of positivity is running through my penis
Smith: Well, okay then…so…
~The fans begin to boo. Cap Slock appears at the top of the ramp. It’s a good thing he can’t hear all that well, otherwise the boos might upset him. As it turns out, he just walks down to the ring in stride. There’s an ear piece in his left ear. Is it to improve his hearing? Or, is it something else? Could he be listening to the Florida State/Virginia Tech game? We don’t know. Cap Slock reaches the ring, ascends the steps and enters. He receives a mic from Belvedere~
Cap Slock: THANK YOU FOR WELCOMING ME INTO YOUR HOMES.
~The crowd shrieks, covering their ears. Belvedere motions toward the back to lower the volume of his mic. Cap Slock continues, unaware~
Cap Slock: I HOPE YOU ARE ALL ENJOYING LABOR DAY. IT IS A GREAT HOLIDAY. A GREAT AMERICAN HOLIDAY. WE AT OCW WOULD LIKE TO OFFER GIFTS TO YOU, THE FANS, CELEBRATING THIS HOLIDAY.
~The crowd pops~
Cap Slock: FOR THE REMAINDER OF MASSACRE ALL OCW MERCHANDISE WILL BE TWO AND A HALF PERCENT OFF NORMAL VALUE. JUST USE THE PROMO CODE ‘DEAL OF THE CENTURY’ TO RECEIVE THIS TREMENDOUS DISCOUNT.
~The crowd boos. Cap Slock fidgets with his ear piece~
Cap Slock: I’D ALSO LIKE TO MAKE A FEW IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING MAYHEM ON THE MIDWAY. MATCH STIPULATIONS! THE SAVAGE CHAMPIONSHIP WILL TAKE PLACE INSIDE THE OCW HOUSE OF MIRRORS RESULTING IN A HOUSE OF MIRROS MATCH!
~The crowd cheers~
Cap Slock: THE OCW CRAZE CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE DECIDED IN A LAST MAN STANDING MATCH!
~The crowd goes wild. A few people wonder what would happen if a man with no legs competed in a last man standing match. But those people are weird. So, we just move on~
Cap Slock: AND, AS FOR THE OCW CHAMPIONSHIP…THAT WILL BE DECIDED IN A BANNED FINISHER MATCH. THAT MEANS NEITHER COMPETITOR IS ALLOWED TO USE HIS FINISHER AT ANY POINT DURING THE MATCH. WE UNDERSTAND THE NAME IS A BIT CUMBERSOME. WE WILL FIND A BETTER NAME FOR THIS MATCH BEFORE NEXT MONDAY.
~A ‘that name sucks’ chant breaks out. Cap Slock fidgets with his ear piece again~
Cap Slock: THAT LEAVES TWO MATCHES. THE MARGARITA MIX AND THE PARADIGM CHAMPIONSHIP. FIRST WE WILL TURN TOWARD THE MIX. WE ALL REMEMBER THAT DRAW FROM LAST WEEK.
~The crowd boos~
Cap Slock: YES. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH ONE WEEK WITHOUT OUR ESTEEMED GENERAL MANAGER CREATED MORE CHAOS THAN THE PREVIOUS FIVE MONTHS COMBINED. I MEAN, A DRAW? YES, CLASSIC ZYBALA RIGHT THERE. IT TURNS OUT THAT THE DRAW ALSO DREW THE IRE OF THE GUMMY BEAR MAFIA
~The crowd laughs at the phrasing of ‘draw drew the ire’~
Cap Slock: AS A RESULT, SLAPPY MCGOO HAS ABRUPTLY LEFT OCW. THAT LEAVES AMELIA IN LIMBO. I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT AMELIA HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO REMAIN IN THE TOURNAMENT. ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS FIND AN OPPONENT AND NAME THEM BY THE END OF THIS EVENING. IF SHE FINDS AN OPPONENT BY THE END OF TONIGHT THEY WILL FACE SCOTT SYREN AND CURT CANON AT THE START OF THE SHOW. THE WINNERS WILL GO ON TO FACE MELINDA RHODES AND VINCENT LANGSTON LATER IN THE EVENING IN A TORNADO TAG MATCH FOR THE MARGARITA MIX TROPHY!
~The crowd goes wild~
Cap Slock: AND NOW FOR THE PARADIGM CHAMPIONSHIP. ANDREA HERNANDEZ IS CURRENTLY FACING TBA. I DON’T HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT TBA ISN’T AN ACTUAL WRESTLER. SO, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO REPLACE TBA. WHO IS THAT PERSON, YOU ASK? WELL ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE ANDREA HERNANDEZ’S OPPONENT AND THE NEWEST SIGNING TO OCW
~A grand orchestral piece fills the OCW Arena. The crowd watches. A muscular, well oiled up man appears from behind the curtain. He is the definition of ‘blue chip.’ He steps out with a confident look~
Cap Slock: THE MAN WHO WILLL BE CHALLENGING ANDREA HERNANDEZ FOR THE PARADIGM CHAMPIONSHIP AT MAYHEM ON THE MIDWAY. I GIVE YOU “BLUE” CHIP GREGORY!
~Gregory saunters down the ramp. Fans are enamored with his aura. He pauses at the bottom of the ramp and closes his eyes, throwing his head back, soaking in the moment~
Smith: Wow! That is one phenomenal looking specimen
Hood: Keep your damn pants on
Smith: A future star!
Hood: Yea, he’s got that it factor, for sure
~Gregory looks into the camera and says “That’s right! I’m here! Buckle up because the Blue Chip is about to…” Gregory disappears! He is pummeled out of view. The crowd is in shock. The camera pans out and we see Axel Veiga standing over Gregory~
Smith: What the?
Hood: Veiga just blindsided the Blue Chip!
Smith: What is HE doing out here? Get rid of this vile man! He’s ruining this moment!
Hood: No he’s not…he’s taking hold of an opportunity
~Veiga snares Gregory by the hair and tosses him, head first into the ring steps. A giant red splotch of blood resides from the impact. Gregory is motionless on the ground. He might be dead. We’re not sure. Veiga smirks, looking down at Gregory before rolling into the ring. He glares at Cap Slock~
Cap Slock: WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? THIS IS THE BLUE CHIP’S MOMENT
~Veiga points at himself. He says ‘This is MY moment.’ Cap Slock is nonplussed – he’s rendered silent. Veiga approaches the interim GM and stares down on him. He’s intimidating the former military man who is hard of hearing. The crowd suddenly pops~
Smith: It’s Andrea Hernandez!
Hood: Talk about needing to mind your own business! She should stay in the back
Smith: This IS her business! Veiga is the one sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong
Hood: You saying he has a big nose?
Smith: Of course not!
~Hernandez slides into the ring. Veiga turns around, quickly. Hernandez pops to her feet and gets in Axel’s face. The two stare each other down. The crowd is on their feet with anticipation. Hernandez motions for the mic from Cap Slock. He hands it over~
Andrea Hernandez: Forget this Blue Chip guy. If the staff isn’t willing to give a spot to someone like Siobhan Townsend for not ‘earning’ the opportunity, then that should eliminate Chip Gregory. You, on the other hand…
Smith: Has Veiga earned this opportunity?
Hood: More so than Chip Gregory and Siobhan Townsend!
Andrea Hernandez: What do you say? Andrea Hernandez versus Axel Veiga for the Paradigm Championship? Huh? How does that sound?!
~The crowd chants ‘YES!’ Cap Slock looks like a deer in the headlights. He doesn’t know what to do. He fidgets with his ear piece and appears to be listening intently. He nods and takes the mic from Andrea~
Cap Slock: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IT IS? ALRIGHT, THEN THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL GET! ANDREA HERNANDEZ WILL FACE AXEL VEIGA FOR THE PARADIGM CHAMPIONSHIP IN…IN A SUBMISSION MATCH!
~The crowd goes wild!~
Smith: What a match!
Hood: Finally! Veiga is getting the opportunity he deserves
~Andrea extends her hand. She expects a shake. After all, she did start the movement for this match to be made official. Veiga looks at her hand. He reaches out…but instead of a handshake, he snares her and locks her in Chicken Wing Camel Clutch!!! Andrea’s face is contorted with pain. She can’t reach for the ropes. She’s stuck. Veiga cranks back with the crowd booing. Cap Slock exits the ring, wanting no part of Veiga~
Smith: Let her go! She helped you get the match!
Hood: Be careful what you ask for, Smith
Smith: He’s going to injure her before their match!
Hood: Smart man
~Veiga releases the hold. Andrea tries to get to her feet. Veiga stomps on the back of her head with a curb stomp leaving Hernandez in the ring, motionless. The crowd BOOOOOS. Veiga looks at the camera and motions toward his waist~
Smith: That makes me sick!
Hood: Might want to take some antibiotics, then because Axel Veiga is IN the match and will be walking out the NEW Paradigm Champion next week
Smith: Don’t count Andrea out. She’s been fighting against the preconceived notion that she’s just another newcomer all month long. If I were a betting man…I’d lay a massive wager on Andrea to overcome the odds and claim her first of many titles in her OCW career
Hood: Fuck off
~We cut backstage where Who’re is standing by with a mic in her hands~
WHO’RE: Joining me right now is one of the most recent signings to OCW, Orgulloso Guardián Del Arcoiris!
~OGDA comes running past the camera holding his fist to his forehead.~
OGDA: NARWHAL!!!!!
~Who’re takes a step back to prevent her from being run over. This has caught her completely off guard. A second later OGDA comes running back across the screen.~
OGDA: NARWHAL!!!!
WHO’RE: Jesus….OGDA….Stop before someone gets hurt!
~OGDA, who not even a second later was charging back back across the screen, stops and looks at Who’re. He slowly removes his fist from his forehead and looks at it. He then looks at Who’re and slowly places his fist on her forehead.~
OGDA: Who know Miss Who Are, sometime you just have to have fun! Sometimes you just have to let go and run like a wild Narwhal and be free and carefree!
WHO’RE: A Narwhal is a fish isn’t it?
OGDA: Maybe.
WHO’RE: So it can’t, like, run and whatnot.
~OGDA takes his fist off of Who’re’s forehead.~
OGDA: A Narwhal can do anything it wants! It’s a magical creature full of love and friendship. You can’t stop a Narwhal nor should you get in one’s way.
~OGDA slowly turns towards the camera as Who’re holds the mic up to his face.~
OGDA: Last week Miss Who Are, OGDA had his second match here at OCW and Mr. Welsh must have really wanted to see what OGDA is made off and I hope that I didn’t disappoint Mr. Welsh and all of my Rainbow Warriors. I went out there and battled Mrs Hernandez and Mr. O'Neill to the best of my ability. Even though Miss Who Are, I came up a tad short in this heavily competitive wrestling match, afterall two of us were going to lose this match to see who was going to go on to Mayhem at the Midway to wrestle for the Para…...Para……
WHO’RE: Paradigm?
OGDA: Thank you Miss Who Are, Yes the Paradigm championship and while OGDA would have loved to have had the opportunity to wrestle for that title, maybe even win that championship. It was not in the cards as Mr Jones told me after my match in the locker room. Yes, My Shining Stars, I was crushed by this lose. I was devastated by the lose. I felt like I let down each and every guardian of the rainbow, this is not the end of the road. Not by a long shot! Miss Who Are….
~OGDA looks at Who’re. She looks at him like, What? I’m looking at you, what more do you want? She slowly pulls the mic back.~
WHO’RE: Yes?
OGDA: Even though I’m not in action here tonight! Even though as of right now, right this second, this exact moment in time, I will not in action at Mayhem on the Midway, I won’t be wrestling in front of all of my little buddies, testing my strength and skills against some of the finest people I have meet here at OCW, I can promise you one thing!
~OGDA places his hands on his hips.~
…….
…….
~Who’re finally asks.~
WHO’RE: What’s that?
OGDA: OGDA will have a wrestling match at Massacre after Mayhem on the Midway! Mr. Jones told me that Mr. Welsh promised me to find me an opponent for the 17th. And by golly Miss Who Are, With the power of the Rainbow Defenders behind me. OGDA will get his hand raised in that test of skill and OGDA will be victorious in that wrestling match! Until then Miss Who Are.
~OGDA turns towards Who’re and crosses his arms, puffing out his chest.~
OGDA: I will not rest in helping the helpless! I will not forget the forgotten! I will be there to push back against the bullies in this world! Fear not! OGDA is here!
~OGDA makes a fist and clenches it real tight. He holds it up for Who’re to look at it.~
OGDA: Now, if you excuse me. I’m a fixing to start a NARWHAL RAMPAGE!!!!
~OGDA places his fist on his forehead, screams NARWHAL and charges on. Who’re takes a step back just before OGDA plows her over. We cut to ringside~
Smith: OGDA everyone!
Hood: Just another in a long line of weirdos running around backstage
Smith: Or, as I like to call him...an extremely talented newcomer with a tremendously bright future. His exclusion from Mayhem on the Midway just speaks to the talent on this roster
Hood: Yea, yea...guy is good and probably should have won last week. But...it's a good thing he didn't, given what we know
Smith: And what's that?
Hood: Well if he had won then he would have got his ass kicked by Veiga next week. Nobody wants to see that...aside from Axel, maybe
Smith: Yea, well, that's your opinion
Hood: And like some random psychic with a 1-900 number...I'm never wrong!
Smith: Right...anyway...it's time for our first match this evening...so let's head down to ringside
|
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Talia Areano (3-4) vs. Michael O’Neil (0-1)
~O’Neil is in the ring~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring…Michael O’Neil!
~A light pop for O’Neil~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~"Taking Over Me" by Evanescence hits. Talia Areano rushes down the ramp and into the ring, ready to fight~
Belvedere: From Buenos Aires, Argentina…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 125lbs…Talia Areano!
~The bell rings. Belvedere exits~
Smith: A big match for both competitors. They each need a win
Hood: You can say that again
Smith: A big match for both competitors. They each need a win
~Areano and O’Neil lock up. O’Neil uses his strength to back Areano into a corner. Scruff asks for a break. They break. Areano throws a kick into O’Neil’s gut and reverse their positions. O’Neil is in the corner. Areano throws kicks and punches into O’Neil’s body. She whips him out of the corner. He runs across the ring and hits hard. Areano charges in…O’Neil gets his foot up and kicks Areano in the face!! Areano staggers back. O’Neil charges forward and takes Areano down with Slingblade!! The crowd pops~
Smith: Great move by O’Neil! He’s looking like he picked up where he left off from one week ago
Hood: Fucking Areano…she’s hot as hell but, man, she doesn’t win much
Smith: The match isn’t over!
~O’Neil pulls Areano to her feet~
Smith: If O’Neil can put this one away that might be enough to sway Amelia into bringing her in as Slappy’s replacement
Hood: Fucking Slappy
~The crowd suddenly reacts. O’Neil pauses. Canon hops onto the apron. O’Neil leaves Areano, heading toward Canon. Areano rolls the distracted O’Neil from behind!! The crowd reacts with shock. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings. O’Neil kicks out right after three. He, too, is shocked~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….TALIA AREANO!!!!!
Smith: What is Canon doing? He just ruined this match!
Hood: He’s using his head! He knows Amelia is close with O’Neil. He’s trying to fuck shit up
Smith: Yea, if Amelia can’t find a partner by the end of this evening then Canon and Syren move straight into the finals
Hood: That’s what we’re all hoping happens
~Canon enters into the ring and drills O’Neil with a knee to the face! He pops to his feet and starts to stomp away on O’Neil with Areano joining in. The fans boo~
Smith: A bit out of Canon’s character…
Hood: Guy received a taste of the main event at Lost at Sea…he wants to get back. This isn’t about the buddy system or any participation trophies…this is about WINNING
Smith: I guess
~The crowd pops as Amelia Emery rushes to the ring. Her leg appears to be fine. She slides into the ring. Canon and Areano cease their beat down on O’Neil, who rolls out of the ring~
Smith: It’s Amelia!! Is she down here to save her tag partner?
Hood: What’s left of him, anyway
~Amelia appears ready to take them on. Until a giant figure makes its way down the ramp. It’s SCOTT SYREN. He keeps a steady gaze on the ring. Amelia turns around, spotting him. As she does, Canon and Areano attack her from behind. Syren stops at the bottom of the ramp, watching~
Smith: Oh no! Not Amelia!
Hood: Shit happens
~Amelia fights back! She has Canon and Areano staggered. She focuses on Areano. Canon lifts a knee into her gut, killing her momentum. Areano and Canon soon overwhelm Amelia, getting her onto the mat. They put the boots to her much like they did O’Neil. The crowd boos~
Smith: It’s just too much…too much
Hood: Goodnight, sweetheart
~We close in on Syren who nods with a approval. His body thrusts forward, violently. His violent movement corresponds with a chair shot! Lukas Emery is standing behind him with a chair! The crowd goes wild!! Lukas drills the chair into Syren’s back until the OCW legend is on the ground. He then charges toward the ring! A ‘LUKAS’ chant fills the arena~
Smith: Yes! It’s Lukas Emery!
Hood: Son of a BITCH…this guy is still around?
Smith: Indeed he is! And now he’s seizing an opportunity while also saving his sister
~Canon gets away. Areano does not. Lukas drills her with the chair, knocking her down. Canon slides out of the ring and finds Syren, helping him to his feet. Amelia gets to her feet. She asks for the chair. Lukas gives it to her and she starts to beat Areano into the mat~
Smith: Amelia is very angry…she’s taking her frustration out on Talia Areano!
Hood: I love Canon. Guy is out there having a milkshake after stirring all this shit up
Smith: Yea, that’s somewhat accurate
~Canon says “Should we help her?” Syren responds with a very polite, “Fuck no.” Canon shrugs and they head back up the ramp. Lukas motions for them to come back…but it’s no use. The two hall of famers exit through the curtain. Amelia finishes beating Areano and kicks her out of the ring. It leaves the brother, sister duo alone. Amelia asks for a mic. She gets it~
Amelia Emery: I had until the end of this evening to name a partner. Well, I’ve found my partner. The one person I trust over anyone else to watch my back. Lukas…will you team with me at Mayhem on the Midway?
~They crowd goes wild. A ‘YES’ chant is heard. Lukas cracks a half smile. He nods and hugs his sister~
Smith: He’s in! The Emery siblings will take on Syren and Canon at Mayhem on the Midway!
Hood: Shit fuck bitch
Smith: Anything else you’d like to add?
Hood: Whore
Smith: While Hood seems to be upset by this…I think it’s amazing! Amelia did not deserve to be punished because of Slappy’s actions. She will get her opportunity to shine at Mayhem with her brother at her side. What a match that will be!
Hood: Just weakens Syren and Canon. I think it’s pretty obvious management is rigging this so Rhodes can win. I mean she is sort of like a blood relative to Welsh now
Smith: In a way, I suppose…regardless…Mayhem on the Midway continues to finalize. It appears to be one of the greatest events in history. I can’t wait for next week!
~The camera cuts to the hallway outside of the office that would be occupied by Marcus Welsh if he were in attendance. Just the same as last week, Cap Slock can be seen sitting behind the desk that has been placed in front of the door, though someone has added a small cacti to one corner in an attempt to make it seem more homey. The interim GM is going through some paperwork when the sound of a throat clearing has him looking up--”
Cap Slock: YES, HOW CAN I HE--OH, M-MISSUS TOWNSEND. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
~...and going white as a sheet even as he musters up that attempt at professionalism. The Requiem steps into the shot, earning cheers from the crowd that can be dimly heard in the background. Siobhan Townsend comes to a stop before his desk, hands clasping behind her back as she takes up the classic ‘at ease’ position.~
Siobhan Townsend: ...Cap Slock. I wanted to let you know that I agree with your decision to decline giving me a title opportunity.
~Cap Slock lets out a relieved sigh, slumping a little as he smiles faintly.~
Cap Slock: OH, AH, GOOD. I KNEW YOU WOULD AGREE--
Siobhan Townsend: However, I also know that there is something else you wish to tell me.
~And just like that, the aloof sort of professional tone vanishes in favor of something so cold, it’s a wonder the hallway doesn’t freeze around her as Siobhan leans in close. Her Thousand Yard Stare is a potent thing, it turns out--though it becomes clear that two things are true. One, Cap Slock has the constitution of a daisy in the middle of a blizzard… and two? His sense of self-preservation is sharper than that of the man he is filling in for. He scribbles something on a piece of paper as he speaks.~
Cap Slock: YES, THAT I APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORTS TO ROOT OUT THE CORRUPTION IN THIS BUSINESS. IT IS A LAUDABLE GOAL.
~Turning over the piece of paper, it takes the Requiem all of a second to read the brief missive--though what exactly is written is unknown, it’s obviously written in large capital letters. Siobhan’s eyes narrow.~
Siobhan: ...I see.
~And with that, she’s turning crisply on her heel and striding out of the shot, Cap Slock not at all appearing relieved at what he just conveyed. If anything? He looks scared all over again.~
Smith: Something is going on with Cap Slock, Hood
Hood: Yea, he yells all the time
Smith: I know that! I'm saying with his role. I don't think he's acting autonomous. It feels...it feels as though someone else is behind his decision making
Hood: Frank Stallone?
Smith: Would you get serious for a moment?
Hood: I like the guy's decision making. So whether they are his own decision or someone else's...I really don't care.
Smith: It's a good thing we have Siobhan around. She'll get to the bottom of this, for sure
Hood: Are we sure Zybala doesn't have some type of blackmail material on her? Ugh...
Smith: Yes, Hood, I'm sure
~The big screen lights up with a video feed. We see a construction site of people building bleachers in a large building. In the middle of everything is a wrestling ring. From the side of the camera, Mike Zybala slides into view with a big grin on his face.~
Zybala: Greetings OCW! i'm sorry that I couldn't be there personally at Massacre this week, but I was asked by Jimmy Buffett to help oversee the finishing touches on the Amusement park. Besides, I'm sure Cap Slock has everything under control over there. I am very happy to report that not only is EVERYTHING up to safety code, but we are ahead of schedule and should be ready to open THIS WEEKEND! Half priced tickets for the first two hundred guests which includes seats for Mayhem on the Midway!
The rides are among the safest in the country! Roller Coasters like The Marvel and The Incredible Ride are running smoothly, The Rocket Launch shoots up like, well, a rocket. The Uber Spin is guaranteed to make you dizzy! And for just an extra two dollars with your admission cost, you can get The Purple VIP E.Z. pass to skip those long ride lines! Come visit our Knight Time petting zoo with rabbits, cats, owls and more!
The food stands have passed all health inspections! Have some Hood Funnel Cakes and Smith Soda! Get your Puffer Popcorn! Parents, don't forget to stop at our Margaritaville for all your adult beverages! Then visit the midway games for prizes like wrestling action figures, replica titles, and of course, stuffed animals.
Now, as for the matches for Mayhem…what a show we have in store! I will be taking on Welsh in a No DQ, street fight. And, after I win…we will no longer have that guy vetoing every idea that isn’t his own. We’ll also see the return of Iggy as he takes on The Lost Soul in a House of Mirrors match. Andrea Hernandez and Axel Veiga wrestle in a Submission match for the Paradigm Championship. Mike Harrison challenges Ed Houston for the Craze Title in a Last Man Standing Match! The Emery Siblings will take on Canon and Syren with the winner facing Rhodes and Langston later that evening in the Mix finals. That match will be a Tornado Tag Match…the finals, that is.
Now for our main event! Matt Meyhu will defend his OCW title against Mack O'Connor in a No Finisher match! That's right fans, I am taking away their most devastating moves out of their arsenal. No Ego Trip and no Claymore. Let's see how they can compensate without their hardest hitting move.
So come one, come all to Wrestleland! We hope to see you soon!
~The video feed cuts off as we return to Massacre.~
Smith: Well at least we will have a venue for Mayhem. I had my doubts.
Hood: I still have my doubts! It's Zybala in charge. Something is bound to get fucked up. Not to mention we’re taking his word that it’s ready. Truth is they probably just broke ground this morning
Smith: Well I hope not! I guess we won’t know for sure until the show airs next week. Folks, I'm told we are going to cut to a promo that was taped earlier in the week. I repeat...this was taped EARLIER in the week
~The massacre broadcast fades to a vignette that features Andrea Hernandez. The rising star herself is seen sitting down in her living room, thinking about her huge win last week, as well as the challenge that lies ahead for her at Mayhem in the Midway. The fans cheer her as she begins to speak.~
Andrea: Last week… wow… to say that it was one of the biggest wins of my career so far would be a big understatement…
~The vignette fades to a brief clip of last week’s match between her, Michael O’Neil and OGDA where she pulled a surprising pin on OGDA out of nowhere to win the match and a shot at the Paradigm Championship, before it fades back to Andrea in her living room.~
Andrea: It meant everything to me, not just because of what was at stake, because it felt like everything that I had ever been through to get a win like that was finally worth it. Earlier in my career, I was at this promotion… based in New York… and I was signed to be part of their cruiserweight division and deep down in my heart, there were two things that I realized right off the bat: that I had everything it took to be THE star of the division… and in hindsight, I know I should have been… and that wrestling is one cruel business sometimes…
~Andrea takes a pause as the vignette briefly fades to some clips of some of her failures in the aforementioned promotion.~
Andrea: I got off to such a rough start as a singles competitor and I nearly gave up. I had so much on my plate already from being the one person in my generation that kept my family’s tradition dating back to 1908 in Mexico alive and hell, I’m the first woman in my long family lineage that actually made it to the wrestling business at all. Not to mention my disadvantages… training at home with my dad when his wrestling academy was already bleeding money and would eventually go bankrupt, in the countryside no less… instead of being in the big city and training at this five-star wrestling academy… grinding my way in the Independent scene for what felt like forever… and to add THAT miserable experience on top of it all? It felt like I couldn’t catch a break, like I was destined for failure…
But I turned it all around, overcoming EVERYTHING that I just mentioned, winning my first singles championship earlier this year… all the way up until now… with that win last week… it was one of my best…
I didn’t grind and suffer and claw my way up the ladder to be denied that Paradigm Championship and next week? When I win that title?
It’s going to be one hell of a culmination of how far I’ve come since day one and it’s going to be further proof of why I am one of the fastest rising stars in the business today. From humble beginnings, training in a ring built together from bullrope and sawdust… to the big stage here in OCW… I know in my heart that I’m a representation of what the working individual in this country is all about! So to those that doubted me before last week… thanks for the motivation!
Next week? I WILL be Paradigm Champion because I know in my heart that there’s not a wrestler on this roster that can keep it from me without destroying me first!
~The fans cheer Andrea’s determination as she stands up from her couch and walks down the hallway, resulting in the vignette fading to black.~
Smith: You can't help but to root for her
Hood: Speak for yourself. Veiga is a purist. He's the embodiment of what that belt represents. He'd BETTER win on Monday
Smith: Well that remains to be seen. Andrea certainly got the short end of the stick earlier this evening. That pre-taped vignette displayed a determined woman who, despite what happened tonight, will remain determined and focused heading into Mayhem on the Midway
Hood: Yea, if she isn't brain dead
Smith: I'm told she's doing just fine backstage...just a little woozy
Hood: FAKE NEWS
Smith: Anyway, it's time for our next match. The OCW Craze Champion is in action and that is next!
|
|
Ed Houston © (10-6) vs. Jack Puffer (0-3)
~Puffer is in the ring. He’s got a magnifying glass and is using it to look into the camera. His eye is HUGE. What a prankster!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…the TRUE winner of OCW Survivor…Jack Puffer!!!
~The crowd sort of groans. They know he wasn’t the TRUE winner of anything, really…other than ‘Most Pending Cases’ guy…or whatever. Puffer doesn’t care. He’s here to earn a check!~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~The screen turns black and then slowly starts to count down from 10. Once it hits 1 the sound of a rocket taking off echoes throughout the arena. Rocket Man starts to blare as Ed Houston slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp. He stops by fans in the crowd and high fives them. Once he gets about half way down the ramp, he sprints and slides under the rope. He quickly jumps to his feet and makes his way up to the turnbuckle where he waves to the crowd~
Belvedere: From Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs…he is the current OCW Craze Champion…he is…Ed Houston!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd is firmly behind Houston. Ed removes the Craze Title from around his waist and hands it over to Belvedere, who exits the ring. Puffer keeps the magnifying glass up to his eye~
Smith: Is tonight the last night we see Ed leave as Craze Champion?
Hood: Probably
Smith: WHAT? That was fast and decisive
Hood: I’m a decisive kinda guy. Besides, Mike Harrison is the man
~Puffer is peering into the top turnbuckle with the magnifying glass. Houston walks up behind him. Puffer turns around and eats a SUPERKICK!! The glass shatters with the frame flying out of the ring. Puffer falls to the mat. Ed drags him into the center of the ring and heads for the corner~
Smith: This…this might be over!
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Ed is perched at the top. He looks down at Puffer. The crowd is on their feet. Ed leaps off with Blastoff!! He connects!!! Ed makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count. The crowd counts along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Craze Champion…ED HOUSTON!!!!!
Smith: Domination
Hood: Feels like a reward of some kind
Smith: Ed has been putting in the work. He’s got a tough match next week. This might have been the office showing their appreciation by offering Ed a nice tune up
Hood: So let’s reward the vet while fucking over the rookie. Makes sense
Smith: Hey…Harrison will be fine, I’m sure.
~Backstage, Caps Lock can be seen reading over a freshly-printed fax, his brow furrowed in focus… focus that is shattered when he looks up and sees that he’s no longer alone. As Siobhan Townsend strides into the shot, all she needs to do is make a shoo-ing motion for the interim GM to scramble out of her way, the desk chair rolling out of the shot to clear her path to the office door that it was blocking. Dropping to one knee, the Requiem pulls out a pair of slender steel tools.~
Smith: What is she doing? I don’t recognize what she’s holding.
Hood: Those are lockpicks! First assault, now breaking in and entering?! How high and mighty can she be if she’s got no moral ground to stand on?
Smith: The ends justify the means--
Hood: No they don’t! Arrest that bitch!
~Inserting the lockpicks, there’s a few seconds of maneuvering the tools before a soft ‘click’ is heard. Siobhan withdraws the lockpicks before she stands silently, one hand creeping out to take hold of the knob--and after an inhale? She’s opening the door as quickly as forcefully as she can only to find herself face-to-face with none other than Marcus Welsh!~
Smith: Wait a minute. I thought Welsh was barred from attending any of OCW’s shows until Mayhem on the Midway!
Hood: No one bans The Man from any of his shows, Smith! No one!
~The crowd gives a mixed reaction--cheers at Marcus being ferreted out, and jeers that he’s even in attendance considering his ban. Welsh looks surprised to be nose-to-nose with the woman that dragged all--or, at least, a good-sized portion--of his skeletons out of his closet.~
Welsh: Wha...wha...this...this isn’t what it looks like!
~The crowd groans~
Smith: He’s really going with THAT excuse?
Hood: It could be legit, Smith. He might have had some necessary medication in his office that he had to pick up.
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood.
~Siobhan doesn’t give him the time to react beyond that stunned statement. Seizing the back of his neck, she drives his face into the door with a resounding THUD--and barely a second after he hits the floor. One hand is snagging the back of that expensive dress shirt/suit combo while the other comes around in front of his face. Stiffening that hand, the Requiem drives the side of her index finger up against Marcus’s nose, a pained cry the result as she begins to bodily drag him down the hallway.~
Smith: She’s dragging him out by his nose like a toddler!
Hood: People still do that to their kids?
Smith: I’m not sure
Hood: Seems like you’d get the death penalty these days for doing something like that to a kid...just saying
Smith: I’m no parent therefore I’m far from an expert
~Siobhan reaches the building’s exit. She kicks the door open and tosses Welsh out by his nose. He tumbles along the pavement outside, roughly. He comes to a rest, seated on his ass, looking at Siobhan with anger in his eyes. Townsend looks back at him. His anger subsides. He lowers his head, pointing his red, irritated nose at the ground. Siobhan turns her back and shuts the door. Our view pans out to show all of this being watched by Commissioner Zybala from the OCW Theme park in Ohio. He nods and smiles~
Zybala: Thank you, Siobhan
~We cut back to the announce team~
Smith: Siobhan continues to restore and keep order backstage…something that is very hard in this business
Hood: She’s in cahoots with Zybala!
Smith: No she’s not
Hood: Oh yes she is…did you see his reaction?
Smith: I think anybody in his position would have reacted that way. It doesn’t mean anything. We haven’t seen a modicum of emotion from Siobhan directed at Zybala one way or another. She’s simply doing what is right
Hood: Cahoots, man. Cahoots
Smith: You’re crazy
Hood: And now Welsh has a fucked up nose…a week before his match. CAHOOTS I TELL YOU
Smith: He will be fine. It’s just irritated. She didn’t break it or anything
Hood: Fucking cahoots, man
Smith: Well since you can’t move on…I’ll do it for you. Folks…Mayhem on the Midway is one week away. Let’s take a look at the lineup!
LIVE! Monday, September 10th 2018
From the OCW Theme Park
Located in Aurora, Ohio
Margarita Mix Semi-Final ReMatch
Street Fight
Savage Championship
Paradigm Championship
Craze Championship
Margarita Mix Finals
OCW Title Match
Amelia & Lukas Emery vs. Curt Canon & Scott Syren
Marcus Welsh vs. Mike Zybala
House of Mirros Match
Iggy Hardy vs. The Lost Soul
Submission Match
Andrea Hernandez vs. Axel Veiga
Last Man Standing
Ed Houston (c) vs. Mike Harrison
Tornado Tag Match
Melinda Rhodes & Vincent Langston vs. TBA
Finishers are Banned
"The Marvel" Matt Meyhu (c) vs. Mack O'Connor
~Marcus Welsh sits in a chair. He’s inside some really, really cheap location. A small, square window shows that he’s out in the parking lot somewhere. He’s got tissue up his nose. There is a knock on the door~
Welsh: Come in.
~The door opens and in steps Mack O'Connor. He limps slightly, but he doesn't have his cane with him. Welsh doesn't look pleased to see him~
Welsh: Looking good, Mack. How's the leg?
Mack: The leg is fine.
~Mack throws a piece of paper down on the desk~
Mack: As requested.
~Welsh picks up the piece of paper and looks it over~
Welsh: So you actually got a doctor to sign off that you're good to compete?
Mack: I AM good to compete. Not sure why I need to show this to you, anyway. Are you even in charge anymore?
Welsh: I’M ALWAYS IN CHARGE. Either way, I don't care... Do you have what I asked for?
~Mack stares at Welsh blankly~
Welsh: Mack?
Mack: I... Um... I lost it...
Welsh: What do you mean you "lost it"?
Mack: You wanted the Paradigm Championship belt.
Welsh: Yes?
Mack: Well... I lost it.
Welsh: How... What... You fucking lost it?
Mack: To be honest... I think I pawned it off at some shop in San Diego... You know... When we were down there for-
Welsh: Yeah, I get it. Whatever.
~Mack stands awkwardly in front of Welsh's desk~
Welsh: Anything else?
Mack: Nah... I was just farting... Wanted to get it out here before I left.
~Mack walks out, shutting the door behind him. A moment passes, then Welsh coughs and gasps for air~
Welsh: Son of a bitch! What did he eat?!
~Our view shifts outside of Welsh’s office. We see Mack walking away. Behind him is the SLAM BUSS. The crowd laughs. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: So Mack LOST the Paradigm Title?
Hood: No, he pawned it. Huge difference
Smith: At least he’s cleared to compete
Hood: It’s sad, really
Smith: Mack’s health?
Hood: No, our GM operating out of the SLAM BUSS
Smith: Hey, he deserves everything he’s getting
Hood: Even Mack’s gas?
Smith: Okay, maybe not that
Hood: Definitely not that
Smith: Well folks…it’s Main Event time! Let’s head down to ringside
|
|
“The Marvel” Matt Meyhu © (19-2) vs. John E Depth (0-3)
~John E Depth is already in the ring. He looks, well, he looks terrified~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…John E Depth!!
Smith: John E Depth headlining an OCW event
Hood: Hell has truly frozen over
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits as the lights dim. Green lights flicker throughout the arena as Matt Meyhu walks slowly out onto the ramp. Matt poses for the fans with a smirk on his face, receiving a chorus of boos. He shrugs them off and walks down the ramp, ignoring fans who reach out to him, until he reaches the ring apron. He hops up onto it and grabs the top rope before vaulting over into the ring. Matt lands and hops up and down a few times before making his way over to his corner. He climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle and poses once more for the fans, oblivious to the reaction he is getting. He laughs as he hops down and takes his place in the corner.~
Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the OCW Champion… “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu!!!
~The bell rings. Belvedere takes the OCW Title from Meyhu and exits. Depth remains in his corner, eyeing the champ~
Smith: Still can’t believe he’s in a Main Event
Hood: It’s a testament to the greatness of Meyhu! Put him in there with anyone and it’s a main event
Smith Right
~Meyhu motions for Depth to meet him in the center of the ring. The look on his face seems to say “Come on, let’s get this over with.” Depth refuses to approach. So, Meyhu goes after him. From behind we see someone slide into the ring~
Smith: What…is that…
Hood: IT’S SHOOTAH!
~Depth grabs Scruff, keeping his back to Meyhu. Shootah pops to his feet. He’s got a pair of Brass Knuckles. He swings wildly at the back of Meyhu’s head but misses! The wind from the miss grabs Meyhu’s attention. He turns around and finds Shootah. He smiles and grabs a handful of Shootah’s hair. He lets go, instantly, staring at his hand~
Smith: Shootah is a D-level porn director who may or may not be homeless. I’m sure his hair is less than pristine
Hood: I don’t want to know what’s in his hair…the champ should be medically evacuated this instant!
~Shootah is frozen. He looks around Meyhu and sees Depth. Depth motions for Shootah to hit Meyhu while holding onto Scruff. Shootah swings his armored fist at The Marvel. Meyhu catches it and yanks the brass knuckles off. He looks at them, shaking his head. Shootah begins to beg~
Smith: This isn’t turning out the way Shootah and Depth imagined
Hood: I’m not sure they’d win if they had a fucking machine gun
Smith: Normally I’d say you’re being dramatic…but you might be right
~The crowd suddenly rises to their feet. We see Mack O’Connor hop the barricade. He gets into the ring. Scruff is still detained. Meyhu, sensing something afoot, turns around and his hit with Hollow Point!! The crowd goes wild!! The Marvel falls right into Mack’s grasp. Mack lifts him up and drops him with Claymore!! The crowd is on their feet!! Mack places the foot belonging to his bad leg atop Meyhu’s chest and stomps the mat with the foot to his good leg three times. The crowd cheers with a “YES!” chant~
Smith: It’s Mack! He just laid out the champ!
Hood: Too bad those fucking moves he used are BANNED from their match
Smith: I think he’s just getting them in for kicks
~Mack looks over at Depth and yells “PIN HIS ASS!” He grabs Shootah and tosses him out of the ring. Shootah lands on his head and is instantly knocked out. Mack hops out of the ring and leans against the barricade, smiling. Depth releases Scruff and apologizes. Scruff looks at his shirt, which is drenched in body oil and covered in chest hair. Depth apologizes once more. He then scurries to cover Meyhu~
Smith: He’s gonna pin the champ!
Hood: Are you fucking kidding me? Is that it? We want to burn this mother fucker down?
Smith: There is no Welsh around to stop this!
Hood: This is what happens with the Zybala buffer is removed!
1!
2!
3!!
NO! KICK OUT!
Smith: BARELY
Hood: Thank you Sweet Baby HeyZeus!
~Meyhu sits up, stunned. Dazed. Depth sits up shocked. He gets to his feet, unsure of what to do next. Mack shakes his head and heads for the ramp~
Smith: Well, Mack tried
Hood: He underestimated the champ!
~Depth reaches the ropes and yells out to Mack for help~
Depth: C’mon, Mack! One more! We got this!
~Mack turns, facing Depth~
Mack O’Connor: You’re fucking pathetic.
~Mack turns his back to Depth and heads through the curtain, leaving Depth alone. The crowd doesn’t really boo. They probably understand where Mack is coming from. Depth is fairly worthless~
Smith: They had their shot to end this and, well, it didn’t work
Hood: Yea, anything at this point would result in a DQ
Smith: Yep which would mean Mack handing Meyhu a win
Hood: And he isn’t doing that shit
~Depth senses something. From behind we see the Marvel rise. Depth utters the words “Oh Shit.” He turns around. Meyhu grabs him and drops him with Ego Trip!!!! The crowd boos. Meyhu makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Champion…“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: And the champ survives two sneak attacks
Hood: More like one and a quarter
Smith: True
Hood: It’s a shame Ego Trip is banned next week. Seems like some kinda demonic idea by Zybala to get the title off of the champ
Smith: Demonic?
Hood: Only demons would want to destroy The Champ
~Meyhu exits the ring and grabs his belt. He leaves Depth atop the mat~
Smith: It appears the champ is finished for the evening
Hood: Yes…why expend more energy? He’s got a title defense next week
Smith: Indeed…folks…let’s cut to a promo video for next week’s show before we end tonight’s event
~Another epic Monday night Massacre in the books. The fans in attendance slowly start gathering themselves to begin filing out of the arena. It’s always a mad rush at the end of these shows. The OCW Tron flickers. Some of the smarks in attendance tonight stop and look at the tron. Some clueless fans have no idea what’s happening. The arena lighting dims. We get a shot of Hood and Smith, who too we’re getting ready to high tail it out of the arena, instead both remain seated, headsets still intact. The speakers in the arena crank with the guitar rift of one of the best band’s in the world. AC fucking DC. The crowd whirrs, as they turn their focus to the entrance ramp.~
“I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted man
Public enemy number one
Understand
So lock up your daughter
Lock up your wife
Lock up your back door
And run for your life
The man is back in town
Don't you mess me 'round”
~There is mass confusion inside the OCW Arena. Fans are all looking around exited, curious, and eager to see what’s behind the curtain. If anything? Perhaps Billy the OCW sound guy is using the arena as his own personal radio. Hood bangs his head with the music as Smith ferociously digs through his stack of papers. Nobody else was scheduled to be on TV this evening. What is going on?~
Smith: Ladies and gentleman, we have no idea what is going on!
Hood: Thank fuck for some good tunes. Too many fags these days come out to Bruno Mars and shit!
~AC/DC’s “TNT” slowly fades into the opening chords of yet another classic tune. A confederate flag is displayed on the OCW tron as Lynyryd Skynyrd’s “Needle and the Spoon” controls the OCW soundwaves. The crowd absolutely fucking ERUPTS with madness!~
Smith: That’s “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
Hood: OH! Fuck yes! It’s about time!
~Chad Vargas, rocking a pair of jeans and a black ‘MEYHU SUCKS’ sleeveless shirt, emerges from the darkness. The crowd is going absolute batshit. Vargas is pretty popular in Florida, but it’s safe to say the OCW fans are sick and tired of the garbage they’ve been subjected to the past couple months. Vargas slowly struts down the ramp, mouthing obscenities to the fans on his way down despite the fact they are putting him over.~
Smith: It looks like he has something to say to us.
Hood: What gave that away?
~Vargas climbs the steal steps and climbs into the ring. He points to Belvedere and motions for a microphone. Belvedere obliges him and hands him a mic. Vargas grabs a hold of it and leans into him throwing a fake head butt at him. Belvedere about shits his drawers and quickly fucks off out of the ring.~
Vargas: What the fuck is up OCW!?
~The crowd erupts one more time. Vargas nods, smirking at the cheap pop.~
Vargas: I don’t need it. I don’t want it. I still hate every single one of you fucking losers. BUT! I understand that Online Championship Wrestling has been a pit of mediocrity these days. Your savior is here. Don’t worry! I’ve got a lot on my mind so I’ll just cut to the chase. A mere week before Lost at Sea was to come to fruition, Marcus Welsh in true bitch fashion decided to cut me from the show. Why you ask? Well you’ll have to ask him. Only bitches air their dirty laundry. Tell you what though, Matt Meyhu can thank your lucky stars that you ducked me yet again. You wasn’t getting off that ship with that belt. But as always, Little Miss Meyhu always gets his way. I’m surprised he can breathe with that load of boss’s cock in his mouth!
~The crowd cheers, a “FUCK YOU MEYHU” chant picks up. Vargas smiles. Taking it all in.~
Vargas: It truly has been too long! If you’re listening Meyhu, you ain’t gonna duck me a second time, pussy! I know you seem to think you are hot shit around here, but the OCW world doesn’t revolve around you. By the way… Did you win Survivor? HAHAHA! Dumb mother fucker! I would love to see Mack O’Connor wipe the floor with you at Mayhem, but part of me hopes he falls short, so I can personally be the one who takes you off your “high horse.”
~Vargas paces around the ring. He runs his right hand through his short blonde hair, and smirks at the crowd.~
Vargas: I see a lot of wasted roster space. Don’t get me wrong, when I heard Scott Syren had returned, chills went down my spine. He’s truly a legend. But for fuck’s sake! Outside of a limited few, there is literally NOBODY on the roster that’s worth a fuck. Lukas Emery and his incest sister still going on and on about shit nobody cares about. Lukas, if you’re listening buddy, put a bullet in your head and save us all the trouble. I see Melinda Rhodes is still around, still sucking ass and losing every match she’s been in. Melinda, sweetie, if you’re listening, the only thing worse than you is Josie Barnes! I don’t know what’s worse, Josie’s matches or her breath!
~The crowd cheers. We pan around the announce table to see Hood losing his mind laughing hysterically. The ever reserved Smith is even cracking up.~
Vargas: Just kidding Josie. Kind of. You still suck. If I ever lost a match to you, I would retire on the spot. But, A for effort. You’re still here, giving it the ole college try. Matter fact, I see a lot of useless cunts on the roster that I don’t recognize. Ladies, if your name ain’t Julliet Brooks, Alice Knight, or MJ Bell – you belong waiting tables or sucking cock behind the arena. So go make me a fucking sandwich and fuck off!
~Vargas can’t help but laugh at his own statement. He looks over at Smith and Hood and gvives Hood a point and a nod.~
Vargas: Outside of these broads, it looks like OCW is slam packed full of faggot ass millennials. Pussy motherfuckers who play video games instead of work. Getting into this sport because they have a cute smile, wear eyeliner, and daddy pays your way into the show. You all are a disgrace to MY industry. I don’t even have the respect to name you because you all are lumped into one pile with the nametag “SHIT” on it. I would rather have a roster full of Danny B’s and Amber Ryan’s then any of you fucks! But hey, I ain’t here to make anyone cry.
~Vargas smirks as he leans against the ropes.~
Vargas: I’m here to announce my return to Online Championship Wrestling. I’m here to put Matt Meyhu on notice. Anyone else for that matter, that wants to step in my way. C’mon fuckboys, I could use the exercise! The goldrush will soon return to VARGAS MOUNTAIN when I become the next OCW Champion! Marcus Welsh tried blacklisting me from OCW. That pussy! Blacklisting me from a wrestling promotion that I helped build into what it is today! It’s funny because Treat Cassidy was fielding so many offers for me to join other companies. While a few of them were tempting, I declined. Despite my feelings for Welsh and the rest of the bitch ass front office, OCW is my life! OCW is Chad Vargas! I bleed red and red is OCW! Anyone who tries getting in my way will get the everloving fuck beat out of them! That goes for Meyhu, Welsh, Zybala, ANY ONE. I’ll see you all next week!
~Vargas lowers the mic, he’s about to toss it on the mat, but suddenly in a fit of rage, raises it back up and Joe Montana’s the motherfucker out of the ring!~