OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, July 23rd 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~We open in a backstage dressing room to a cold opening. Tonight's General Manager, Bob Grenier, is hanging out with his inner circle. He wears a pair of sunglasses and a Tommy Bahama shirt. There is a bong on the table and a tremendous amount of weed being passed around. The Lockwoods and Aunt Ruth are hanging out~
Jack: Hey, Vacation.. What's the plan tonight? This is BOB GRENIER MASSACRE after all! Live on Starz!
~Every time they say BOB GRENIER MASSACRE, The room says it in unison and point their hands up in the air like it's on a marquee~
Bob: Plan? There is no plan for BOB GRENIER MASSACRE.. Last week was a bit of a setback, Losing to the champion and all so tonight is just a free for all. It's the do what you feel festival! Believe me.. I'm gonna do just that! We’re gonna have a great time. May as well party here tonight in Key West before we're all shipped off to sea, Where I will beat the black off Mike Zybala and take his job. Where we will also see Chad Vargas vs Matt Gayhu.
Tom: Don't you mean.. Meyhu?
Bob: No. This is BOB GRENIER MASSACRE.. I stick by my words. Apparently The Mack Attack is back and he will now face Curt Canon jn a #1 Contenders match..That’s next week though.. Tonight is BOB GRENIER MASSACRE and we will see, The Purple VIP, Josie Barnes take on Iggy Hardy. Josie wants to rise in the ranks, She wants to make a name for herself. The next two weeks will define her.
Aunt Ruth: Where's that bitch Zybala? We sent him for enchiladas and coke like a f*****g hour ago!! Can't trust anyone to do anything these days. This whole company employs the laziest, most down trodden pieces of shit I’ve ever seen.. No offense Bob. It blows my 90 year old mind! I mean TONY THE SPIDER who gave that obese piece of shit a job, I saw him teaching Richard how to put a purple cock ring on a hot dog. A man in a bunny costume! Fuck off!
Bob: Aunt Ruth. You're heart! You gotta calm down. Nobody dies on BOB GRENIER MASSACRE!
Aunt Ruth: Oh your heart Auth Ruth your heart (Mockingly) When did you go soft! You're a fucking Grenier. F****n’ pussy ass nephew.
~Aunt Ruth takes a shot and takes a bong rip. The old broad is letting loose and nobody appears to be stepping in. Tom answers a cell phone and looks over at Jack, He motions for Jack to follow. They leave the locker room. They fist bump and exit. Aunt Ruth launches into another tirade.~
Aunt Ruth: Curt Canon is fucking washed up, He doesn't belong anywhere near a main event and hasn’t in 15 years, Checkers is cute but fuck him! Marcus Welsh is an incompetent piece of shit! Where's he at?
Bob: I think he's golfing or on vacation or something. Don't worry though, I got this!
Aunt Ruth: Like hell you do! Don't even get me started on Vargas.. Goddamn if he were tonight.. I’d..
~Chad Vargas casually strolls in with a 12 pack of Bud tucked under each arm and stands behind Aunt Ruth. The rest of the room looks past Aunt Ruth right at Vargas.~
Vargas: You’ll what? You tough ol’ bitch.. Blind me with your fuckin’ Ben Guay? Get the f**k over here.
~Chad Vargas hugs Aunt Ruth! He then looks over at Bob~
Bob: Don't give her any ideas Chad, She's 92 years old.
~Her eyes light up. ~
Ruth: GIVE ME ANY IDEAS?! I've had the idea since I walked in the building. I'm fighting someone tonight! This show is weak!
Vargas: Weak ass booking Grenier!
~Vargas pulls two beers out of the case. Ruth and Vargas toast.~
Aunt Ruth: Snake, I got a gram of blonde Lebanese hash buried deep in my crotch. Can dig it out if you want a toke.
~She reaches into her underwear and pulls out the hash. Everyone looks on horrified, except Vargas, who laughs.~
Chad Vargas: No thanks, Aunt Ruth. I gotta head out...got this WEAK ASS contract signing with Mr. Golden Boy. If I don't leave now I'll be late.
~Vargas gets up and leaves. The screen fades into the familiar and pleasing OCW logo. It’s that special time of week and this week It's time for BOB GRENIER MASSACRE! We scan the crowd. There is a man with one of those beer dispensing helmets holding an Ed Houston back scratcher. The people chant “BOB” over and over. There are plenty of signs throughout the arena including one haggard looking woman with a “Tony Got me Pregnant” sign. In honor of Bob the ring ropes and mat are Green tonight as well! We fade to Hood and Smith at ringside.~
Hood: Welcome to BOB GRENIER MASSACRE!
Smith: As if the guys ego wasn't inflated enough.
Hood: We are one week from Lost at Sea, and with the former champion and hall of famer calling the shots tonight, Anything can happen! We could burn this place to the fucking ground!
I'm excited for all the possibilities Bob Grenier Massacre can bring. Smoke em’ if you got em!
Smith: He has given us a tremendous match as The Purple Vip looks to keep the momentum going heading into her Craze title triple threat match. She’ll face a returning Iggy Hardy. This place reeks of weed already!
~Fans are lining up at the merchandise table to get this week's new and old items. Tony the Spider isn't working the table tonight since he has a very important match. Instead Richard is taking Tony's usual spot behind the table, he even has his own fanny pack. One customer dressed up in a bunny suit hops away after buying a pack of Muffle Juice. He opens a can and takes a swig and instantly regrets it. A young girl excitedly hugs her Tickle me Grenier doll only for the doll to say "Get off me bitch." Her father grabs the doll and shakes it and it says ," Let's go some some weed and fuck."He walks back over to the table to make a complaint to Richard who is in mid conversation with another fan. The fan is wearing a black hooded sweater and jeans. The hood covers most of his face, his mustache is a little crooked and he is wearing a pair of John E. Depth branded shades~
Richard: So you're telling me you want to buy all of the Matt Meyhu action figures that are currently on sale?
~The man nods his head and speaks with a weird foreign accent. ~
Weird Fan: yas, I cant those feegers, zay are my favreet wrestler Matt Meyhu.
~Richard holds one up~
Richard: You sure you want all 2 thousand of these?
~The fan looks at it and shakes his head~
Weird Fan: (he's ditched the accent) No wonder these aren't selling. Why the fuck do I have, I mean does he have a mustache?
Richard: Wait a sec. Champ is that you? Are you trying to buy all of your action figures on clearance?
Weird Fan: (back to the accent) No, I not the Champ Matt Meyhu. I just like these dolls. I want them to be best selling in OCW.
~Richard squints his eye and gives the fan another long hard glance, then he shakes his head. Richard packs the Meyhu action figures on display into a box and reaches under the table and brings out another box. He hands it over to the fan who places it on an OCW labeled hand truck~
Richard: Hey, how'd you get that hand truck?
Weird Fan: (Without accent) Someone let me borrow so I can buy. Please here, charge my credit card.
Richard: (grabs the credit card and swipes it, as he waits for the transaction he looks at the name on the card) That;s going to be $4,540 dollars mister Meyhu... wait a minute. How did you get Matt Meyhu's card? I'm calling security...
~The sound of the transaction going through on the credit card reader prompts the weird fan to grab the credit card out of Richard's hand, he turns and runs off with the boxes of Matt Meyhu action figures. Richard is left scratching his head wondering what the fuck just happened.~
~We go backstage. Uber Man enters the locker room in a rush.~
Uber Man: Sir, I have word that Wentz is outside of the building scalping tickets to Lost at Sea next week, He could also be selling illegally pirated OCW DVDs!
Bob: Boys, Go check this out!
~Tom and Jack Lockwood exit the room hastily. They clench their fists together looking for a fight~
Uber: Also, As an OCW Official this evening. I must ask, Has Josie Barnes, as well as the rest of the athletes on the card this evening submitted samples to the USDA?
Bob: Uh, What?
Uber: The United States Doping Agency. It's a requirement of all athletes engaged in combat sports in the United States of America. Have the samples been submitted in a timely manner?
Bob: Uber Man, This is is professional wrestling.. Those laws don't apply to us and I doubt you’ll convince any OCW Star to piss in a cup for you. I like how serious you are taking this though. Thank You for your dedication.
Uber Man: I shall look into it myself. You will not regret this decision Sir, I will not let you or Online Championship Wrestling down in my duties this evening. I'll be a fair and impartial official.
Bob: I bet you will Uber Man. Do your thing.
~Bob takes a referee shirt hanging on a hook behind him and hands it to Uber Man. The Uber Man cracks a small smile and looks super serious about his position tonight as he pulls on the stripes and exits the locker room. Bob is laughing about the USDA inquiry. He says “That guy cracks me up” when Roach then bursts into the locker room with a massive joint hanging from his mouth. He chest bumps Bob and looks at the weed on the table. An evil grin stretches across his face~
Roach: I knew I could smell weed, You, Me, Tonight. In the middle of the ring!
Bob: I already have a match tonight! I got everyones problems to deal with. I'm a busy guy Roach!
Roach: Relax, Too busy for a smoking competition? I hear you consider yourself a pothead. Let's see who the biggest stoner in OCW really is!
~Bob looks at the huge bags of weed on the table and back at Roach. Roach blows a huge hoot into Bob’s face. Both men laugh and shake hands before we fade back to ringside.~
Smith: Bob Grenier is truly engaged as our boss for the evening, A smoking competition tonight, and he’ll square off with Alice Knight!
Hood: Plus Uber man all night! We know Uber Man is all business. BOB GRENIER MASSACRE BABY!
Smith: Let's go to the ring. Where apparently Roach and our GM for the evening will kick off tonight festivities.
Bob Grenier vs. Roach
~Two tables have been placed in the ring, On those tables the ring crew has placed copious amounts of Marijuana, each table is also equipped with its own bong. There is one massive joint which probably has two ounces in it. We also have a few bottles of Jack Daniels and shot glasses. OCW Official Scruff will over sea this competition along with Caps Slock.~
Belvedere: This is an OCW Great Canadian Smoke Off! Three rounds of weed smoke smoking action! Introducing first, from Windsor, Ontario, Canada.. This is Roach!!
~"King Nothing" by Metalilca hits. The crowd boos heavily. Roach storms through the curtain and marches down the ramp with a joint in his mouth and a few in his hands. Occasionally he glares at a fan and snarls, showing his disdain for the people in attendance, He angrily throws the joints into the crowd as he hustles up the steps and enters into the ring, displaying little fanfare and pomp. The man is out here to do one thing tonight, Get high. He paces around the tables and checks out all the weed. He grabs a handful and sniffs it without ever changing his angry expression~
Belverdere: His opponent, Our General Manger for the evening, Former OCW Champion and 2018 Hall of fame Inductee, From Timmins, Ontario, Canada.. Bob Grenier!
~ “Where The Hood at” by DMX plays and Grenier comes out quickly. He's wearing a Canadian flag as a cape but the maple leaf is a pot leaf. The fans cheer! He's got a bag full of joints and he starts throwing them out to the audience. He climbs into the ring and sizes up Roach.~
Smith: Can he do this? There are women and children present. Not to mention we are live on network television.
Hood: Smith, No parent is bringing a child to an OCW show. Give your head a shake.
Smith: I apologize to the viewing audience. For the next few minutes we will watch two grown men smoke weed together. I thought this was an episode of Massacre, Not That 70s show.
~In the ring the competitors are in place. The lights dim and “Because I got high” by Afroman begins to play softly. People in the audience begin to light up. There is a thick cloud of smoke in the OCW Arena. Scruff explains the rules to each competitor. ~
CAPS: LET'S GET THE TIME UP!
~5 minutes appears on the screen. Round 1 consists of one period where the winner will be the one who rips the most weed through a bong. There is also a ten count. Roach and Bob stare each other down! ~
CAPS: 3..2..1.. SMOKE!
~They begin to pack and smoke bowl after bowl. The people in the audience are also smoking. Caps is tossing pre rolled joints into the crowd. People are having a great time!~
Smith: I'm pretty sure this is illegal Hood.. Hood?
Hood is passed out! Smith checks his pulse to make sure he's breathing.
Smith: He's alive folks! This portion of the show however, D.O.A.
~Roach and Grenier are still going strong. With 2 minutes to go, they are dead even at 31 bowls each. All of a sudden Grenier emerges out of nowhere and in the last 30 seconds he takes over the first round, Winning 38 Bowls to 35.~
CAPS: THE WINNER OF ROUND 1, Bob!
~Looking incredibly stoned and barely able to stand, Bob raises his hand in triumph. The crowd cheers, Roach slams his fists on the table in anger.~
Smith: Being the smaller man, Bob’s quickness got the better of Roach in round 1. Never would I thought I'd be calling a marijuana smoking competition on OCW Television. Hood opens his eyes at ringside and the thick cloud is still forming.
Hood: What's going on? Where am I?
Smith: Grenier Massacre Hood and.. Everyone in this building is stoned..
Smith starts laughing on commentary.
~Round 2 will be a game we will call hold a toke. Whoever exhales first loses! There is a 2 ounce blunt on the table, It's as thick as Bob’s wrist. Roach uses a torch to light it up, He takes the biggest haul anyone in the arena has ever seen and holds it in! He passed the monster joint to Bob who can barely hit it, He takes a nice puff himself, more than any normal person should. These guys are not normal though, they're pros. Roach takes the 2 ounce joint back and takes another massive haul! He finally exhales the dankest cloud of smoke any set of lungs could humanly muster up. Roach is the winner of Round 2!~
Smith: It was the sheer size difference that gave Roach the advantage in the 2nd round.
Hood: I'm tired, We need like pizza and slurpies at the desk. That would be dope!
Scruff: Hey, Let a brother get a hit?
~Roach hands him the joint and Scruff, the OCW Official takes a nice haul himself. He is off duty tonight and definitely enjoying himself. ~
Smith: I'd be nice if we could get like, Some twinkies, Maybe a pizza? God I'm hungry Hood.
Hood: I have some pixie sticks in my pocket!
Smith: You've been holding out this whole time?
~Scruff begins pouring shots of Jack Daniels. Cap Slock is cheering him on! Round 3 consisfs of both men holding in a toke while taking a shot. Roach takes a nice big toke and proceeds to take a shot of JD, While holding it in. He blows out the exhale afterwards. Grenier takes his toke and does the same, Blowing out his exhale after the shot. Roach repeats the process but this time he takes two shots! The exhale after is also a monster. Grenier tries to follow his lead but it ends very badly. He is down.~
Smith: He has officially vomited.
Hood: Yep that's puke.
Smith: Someone please come out and clean up our GM for the night! It's like Marcus Welsh left his teenage son home alone!
~Scruff declares Roach the winner and top OCW stoner! The crowd boos heavily but Roach doesn't give a shit, He lights up that big ass joint before he exits the ring. He shows a small bit of compassion by checking on a now slightly inebriated Grenier, Who appears to be doing fine. Bob pulls himself off the mat and follows Roach up the aisle.~
~In the parking lot, John E. Depth is clearly getting brain in the passenger seat of a tow truck. The look on his face and the head bobbing up and down dictate this. Once finished she wipes her mouth and exits the rig, Depth zips up his fly and takes off in the opposite direction. All the while Aunt Ruth has been watching this while puffing on a cigarette.~
Driver: Yeah Mike.. Mmm Hmmm. Yeah this is Rhonda, Von Clapp… The Blue truck parked in the Commissioner spot.. yeah, yeah...gotcha!
~She spits a wad of chewing tobacco and locates the truck, It's Grenier’s. She goes back to her rig and backs it in, hooking up the truck to be towed when Aunt Ruth stomps her cigarette and walks angrily walks over.~
Ruth: Take this shit off my nephews truck right now, Slut!
Von Clapp: Who you callin’ slut, I'm here and I got a job to do, Ol’ timer. Towin’ this truck or beatin’ your ass and then towin’ this truck. Take yer pick.
Ruth: There's a ring we can settle this in! Truck ain't leaving the arena. Promise you that.
~Von Clapp spits a wad at Ruth’s feet and they stare off. We go back to Hood and Smith at ringside.~
Smith: It appears as though Aunt Ruth, at the ripe old age 92.. Has found an opponent for the evening.
Hood: Not just any opponent, It’s Rhonda Von Clapp! She has professional wrestling experience.
Smith: Oh how do you know?
Hood: My pal Rick knows her.
Smith: Sure. Our GM got drunk, We have Outsiders and the elderly up and down this card. Someone is going to get hurt.
Tony the Spider vs. “Welfare” Guy Cashe
~Belvedere is in the ring with his glorious mustache looking to be in perfect form. He is dressed in a Green tuxedo and a white bow tie, In honor of Grenier Massacre.~
Belvedere: Please welcome, Our Special guest referee for the evening.. The Uber Man!!
~“I Need a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler hits the OCW Arena speakers! The crowd pops and they all look up the ramp. A tiny yellow car bursts forth from behind the curtain and makes its way down the ramp~
Smith: The Uber Man is here to save OCW once again! This week he goes to war with unfair officiating! Is there anything he cannot do?
Hood: He's a company man Smith! God bless him. He’ll see that tonight’s matches are contested fairly and that the rules are followed all night!
~Uber Man exits his car and makes his way to the ring wearing referee stripes. He makes it known that he is in charge and there will be no foul play this evening, Pointing to his stripes. The crowd loves it! They chant “UBER” over and over!~
~The ring crew begins to place various weapons around ringside. This includes chairs, kendo sticks and a baseball bat, the crew also strategically place a couple of tables around ringside as well.~
Smith: This is a little absurd, as none of these items placed at ringside are able to be legally used in the match up.
Hood: I get it Hood! It's like Bleu nuit! You think you are going to see hardcore sexual activity but it turns out to be all censored and sensual and shit. It's a tease!
Smith: Whatever you say Hood.
~“Party Hard” hits the speakers and Zybala steps out on to the stage to a chorus of cheers! The music stops and Zybala raises a microphone.~
Zybala: Welcome to a, say it with me….
~Fans and Zybala: BOB GRENIER MASSACRE, BAEBY!!~
Zybala: Sad that I can get your new catchphrase more over than you can! Anyways, I just wanted to come out to wish everyone the best of luck, especially those Outsider's originals who are fighting tonight. Show them that backyard spirit guys! Also, if anyone attacks our referee tonight, the fines are TRIPLE what they usually are and the offending people have to face Iggy in a “Prison Beatdown” match at the Massacre after Lost At Sea. Mr. Belvedere, take it away please!
~Zybala heads backstage and Belvedere does his thing.~
Belvedere: Tonight's opening contest is a Softcore Special Match.. Introducing first, from Emilio’s Garage…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 190lbs… He is.. Tony the Spider!!!
~”Jump” by Van Halen hits! The crowd jumps to their feet! The sound of laughter fills the arena “HAHAHAHA!” Tony the Spider peeks his head out from behind the curtain with that signature grin. His mullet is FULL FORCE. He throws the curtain aside and struts forward, down the ramp with Richard trailing behind him. He almost looks like a chicken. He’s laughing most of the way. He climbs onto the apron, Richard holds the ropes open and Tony climbs in the ring. ~
Hood: Ever since Tony became head of OCW Merchandising and put Richard on the hot dog stand, Money! Tony The Spider is bank.
Belvedere: His opponent.. From his mother's basement, Standing 5’7 and weighing 140 pounds this is “Welfare Hustle” Guy Cashe!
~ “White Trash Renegade” by Big B erupts and Guy Cashe makes his way to the stage, draped in fake ass gold! He shows his grill off to the camera and screams that he's “the hustle, and ain't gotta work fo’ shit” he cockily makes his way down the aisle and says it’s time to “smash some spider ass” as he climbs in the ring. Guy tries to work the crowd and they just snicker and laugh, He makes his way over to Tony and starts jawing at The Spider.~
Guy: I'm a make you my bitch, dawg!
Tony: HAHAHAHA!
~Tony just rears back and smacks Guy across the mouth. Guy cowers back to his corner. Guy feels his mouth where he’s slapped and looks shocked about it. Uber Man starts the match and Guy charges at Tony The Spider, Tony sticks his foot out and trips him, sending Guy face first into the mat. Tony grabs Guy by the hair and lifts him up, Richard jumps up onto the apron and distracts the referee as Tony reaches into his fanny pack and pulls out his newest piece of merchandise, Tickle You Grenier! He squeezes TYG and the long finger begins to rotate as the doll calls him a Choad! Tony throws the doll to the mat, Guy comes at Tony The Spider and Tony hits him with a hip toss, Guy lands directly on top of TYG and it tells him to “fuck off” as it vibrates. Guy picks himself up and kicks TYG into the crowd, Where it says “Tickle me lower, Bitch”~
Hood: Tickle You Grenier may just be the single greatest piece of wrestling merchandise ever produced!
Smith: Nonsense, Complete nonsense. We need Welsh back in charge pronto!
Hood: We’re just getting started!
Smith: Are you still smoking weed?
Hood: This is Grenier Massacre, It would be a disservice to Bob if we didn't toke up!
~A cloud of smoke begins to form again, it hangs at the top of OCW Arena. The crowd chants “Spider” over and over as he and Cashe lock up, Spider overpowers Cashe and shoves him to the mat where he then hits a quick elbow drop. Outside of the ring, Richard slides an Ed Houston Back massager that he has produced from his pocket into the ring. Guy Cashe is on his feet as Richard jumps up on the apron to distract Uber Man again! Just as Tony is about to hit Cashe with the back massager The Uber Man turns around and catches him. Uber Man issues a stern warning. Tony laughs and fakes a back injury, like he actually needs to use the massager! He turns it on and massages his back, Guy Cashe, looking super serious, hits the ropes and nails Tony with a huge spear, taking Tony down.~
Hood: Guy Cashe has offense!
Smith: He's also 140 pounds, Draped in 100 pounds of fake jewellery, Which he has yet to remove. What a joke, Bob Grenier has opened our doors and this is what we get tonight?
Hood: Relax and smoke a joint Smith.
Smith: I'm high as it is. I still have a job to do.
~Cashe begins to weakly stomp away on a downed Tony The Spider. Tony laughs and gets back to his feet, Guy Cashe throws a slow, weak punch and Tony has ample time to block it.. He grabs Guy Cashe and puts him in a headlock, making sure to put a thumb in his eye. Guy Cashe writhes in pain, Guy manages to barely throw a much bigger Tony into the ropes, Guy goes for a back body drop, Guy bends over for it and Tony stops, He nails Cashe with a sloppy looking double arm DDT.. Richard again distracts The Uber Man as he discreetly takes Iggy Hardy Anal Beads from under the ring and slides them to Tony! Cashe js back to his knees, He grabs Tony’s shorts in an attempt to get up, Cashe pulls The Spiders shorts down, He's not wearing underwear! We catch a half second of Tony’s manhood before the censors kick in!~
Smith: Wardrobe malfunctions, On air drinking and drug use, Potential elder abuse..OCW has heavy fines on the horizon.
Hood: It's Bob Grenier Massacre! Expect anything less than drugs and sexual behavior?
~Uber Man turns around, Tony drops the anal beads, pulls up his pants and immediately and assures The Uber Man “there's nothin’ funny goin’ on here man!” and that he “digs chicks” The crowd is loving it! Richard starts a spider chant, Guy is finally up again and he is pissed, He takes off his fake gold chains and throws them on the ground, He takes out his grill and chucks it into the crowd.~
Smith: You'll find that Guy Cashe grill on ebay in the next few minutes, for $9.99.
Hood: What a bargain!
~Guy charges at Tony, Tony nails him with a stiff clothesline. Guy is on the mat and Tony begins to slap the back of his head, Tony picks up Guy and takes him to the corner where he smashes his face into the turnbuckle, Tony then puts guy in a headlock and drags his face across the top rope, He then starts choking out Cashe using the middle rope. Uber firmly warns Tony to release the hold, Which he does at the last possible second. Cashe falls to the mat gasping for breath, Tony belly flops him, taking the rest of the wind out of him! Uber goes for the cover.~
1!
2!
Guy Cashe kicks out!
Smith: You have to hand it to Cashe…he’s hanging in there
Hood: You act like he’s facing Meyhu. It’s Tony…and not the Savage one
~Tony returns to his feet. He puts up his fists. Tony laughs while rotating his fists around, ready for combat. Guy regains his wind and stands. Tony unleashes the SPIDER BITES! A series of weak ass punches into the head, chest and belly of Guy. Guy just sort of stands there. He recovers and looks at Tony. The punches are having zero effect~
Smith: I think Tony either needs to hit the weights or eliminate that from his repertoire
Hood: Or just fucking retire and go work at a retirement community or something…spoon feeding old women jello pudding
Smith: Now why would you suggest that line of work?
Hood: Well he’s always laughing…so it’d make the old people think they have a sense of humor…plus if one of the old geezers gets out of line, he can smack them without doing any damage
~Cashe finally blocks one of the spider bites. Tony laughs. Guy spins around with a back first/bitch slap!! Tony staggers backwards, into the ropes…he ricochets off and throws a lariat! His arm hits Guy’s chest with minimal impact. Tony looks up at Guy and laughs. Cashe hoists Tony up for a Spinebuster! Tony starts to tickle Cashe under the arm! Guy loses his grip…Tony crawls over Cashe’s head, flips over and rolls Guy up with a Sunset Flip/Pin combo! Uber slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….TONY THE SPIDER!!!!!
Smith: Tony with the…upset?
Hood: The hell if I know
Smith: A unique counter, as far as I’m concerned…thinking outside the…
Hood: Web…outside the web, Smith
~Tony crawls out of the ring. Cashe pops to his feet, furious. Uber gets in between the two, using his super hero status to prevent any further damage from happening~
Smith: A voice of reason…level headed Uber Man to the rescue
Hood: Uber Man, Guy Cashes AND Tony the Spider…it truly is a Grenier Massacre
Smith: Haha, indeed!
~The cameras cut backstage to Ed Houston standing in a long hallway filled with ladder after ladder. His Craze Championship is laying across one of the ladders. He seems to be swaying each ladder back and forth intently focused on it when Muffles the Bunny hops into the scene.~
Muffles: “What are you doing, Ed? He looks around and notices the camera then turns to Ed and sighs. “Oh god is this going to be one of those segments where you climb the ladder and symbolize that you’ll be doing the same thing next week. It’s one of those things isn’t it?”
~Houston looks up almost defensively~
Ed Houston: “No.”
Muffles: “What are you doing then?”
Houston: “I can’t tell you.” He rocks one of the ladders and it falls over causing a large crash and a slight jump from Muffles.
Muffles: “What the heck Ed? Is this a mind game thing again? Cause it’s not going to work.”
~Houston sighs~
Houston: “Not a mind game. Research.”
Muffles: “Research!?”
Houston: “Eighty percent of these ladders are defective. Next week we’re facing off in a faulty ladder match. I’m trying to do what I can to detect which ones are and which ones aren’t.”
Muffles looks at him like he’s crazy for a second but then lights up.
Muffles: “You know that’s not a bad idea.”
~He goes to the far end of the hallway and starts to mess with the ladders. A few seconds later Josie Barnes shows up.~
Josie: “Oh god. What are you two doing?”
Houston: “Testing out ladders.”
Josie: “Why?”
Muffles: “To see if we can figure out which ones are faulty.”
Josie: “You all are idiots.”
Houston: “Oh like you can tell which ones are fine.”
~He points to a ladder that is missing three rungs and leaning almost sideways~
Houston: “Is that a safe ladder?”
Josie: “No it’s clearly faulty.”
Houston: “Well it’ll be harder than that next week.”
Josie: “Psh, I’m the Purple VIP any ladder that I choose to go up wouldn’t dare fall under me.”
Houston: “You should try something. Last time I proved that I was better at making you bleed and better at climbing that ladder, and Muffles, you might want to practice yourself, those ladders are for people not bunnies.”
Josie: “Things have changed since then. I hurt my leg in that match. It's better now. I beat TIO. I’ll beat you at Lost at Sea.”
Muffles: “I’m the only one here that has actually won a qualifying match for that belt, next week I’m taking it home.”
Houston smirks.
Houston: “I’m headed to my lab to run some more tests. See you both next week. Also, all those ladders are broken.”
~Josie rolls her eyes as Muffles looks up in surprise and the scene fades away.~
Josie Barnes (15-10) vs. Iggy Hardy (13-5)
Belvedere: Ladies and gentleman, The following contest is scheduled for One Fall! Introducing From Lily, Georgia…standing 5’2 and weighing in at 118lbs…she is the Purple VIP…she is…Josie Barnes!!!
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment begins to play. The fans get on their feet and offer a very likable, cheery response for Josie Barnes. She steps out from behind the curtain with anxiety in her face. She’s got a HUGE task in front of her. She sets down the ramp and doesn’t exert any wasted energy. She rolls in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet in the center of the ring~
Belverdere: Introducing her opponent..…from Hawk’s Bluff, North Carolina…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…he is a former Savage Champion…please welcome back…Iggy Hardy!!!
~Eddie Van Halen's amazing fucking guitar rift controls the sound system, volume MAXED out as "Top of the World" by Van Halen plays, Iggy Hardy emerges from the darkness, hair and body soaked in water. His muscles ripple as he walks down the aisle, flexing his muscles and gyrating his hips to the Van Halen tune. He slaps a couple fans high five, he stops to the prettiest girl he finds and shoves his tongue down her throat. He saunters the rest of the way to the ring as he climbs the steps and enters the ring. He thrusts his hips at Belvedere, he then randomly does a handstand as he gears up for his match.
Smith: And here we go…Iggy Hardy taking on Josie Barnes.
Hood: Finally…a legit match
~Iggy finishes the handstand and wobbles into his corner. He doesn’t look well~
Smith: Iggy not himself tonight, all of a sudden…party life style taking its toll?
Hood: Shit…I hope he isn’t coming down off the drugs. If that’s the case…we may need the ring crew out here ready to clean up a bunch of puke
Smith: Barnes appears ready, however
~The bell rings. Belvedere has exited the ring. Iggy suddenly yells and sprints at Barnes. He lowers his head like he’s a ram, trying to run his head into guts of The Purple VIP. Barnes sprints back at him. They collide…they FLIP through the air with Iggy landing right on his head (Canadian Destroyer). The crowd goes wild!! Iggy is out…Barnes makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…JOSIE BARNES!!!!!
Smith: What the heck just happened?
Hood: Is that really it?
Smith: It sure is…Josie just handed Iggy the quickest loss of his career. Iggy, who didn’t look great, summoned up the energy to head straight for her but she countered by dropping Iggy with the Purifier
Hood: Well that’s just GREAT
Smith: If this is any sort of indication…Houston and Muffles had better be ready for Lost at Sea. Josie looks to be in great shape
~Josie has her armed raised. The crowd is giving her a strong ovation. We zoom in on Iggy who is out…but he looks peaceful. There is a smile across his face. We cut away~
~Jam G is backstage warming up for his match this evening. Bob Grenier approaches him~
JG: Thank You, Thank You. From the bottom of my heart! The main event! OCW Massacre on Starz! Thank You!
Bob: I'm sorry I couldn't meet all of your contract demands though, We got you a home cooked meal courtesy of my Aunt Ruth, Like you requested.
~Bob hands over container of food~
Bob: The respect and adulation of your family and an immediate OCW Title match, I'm not a miracle worker. Your 110 pounds of push over. Your family hates you and that won't change but tonight on BOB GRENIER MASSACRE.. Jam G.. You are a superstar!! You go out there and make them respect you!!
~Bob slaps Jam G on the chest lightly and he mutters “Ouch” before raising his arms in the air and taking off excitedly. Mike Zybala approaches Bob from behind.~
Zybala: Bob, the fuck? They're gonna kill him out there, Dude couldn't hack it in Outsiders. OUTSIDERS! Don't encourage him!
Bob: I'll give the miserable prick his 15 minutes of fame. Bob Grenier takes care of the little guy! Grenier does it better!
Zybala: If you wanted to give him 15 minutes, you should have placed him with Tony and Cashe! At least that way it would have been an Outsider's exhibition match or something! Just know that his blood is on your hands!
~Zybala storms off in a hurry, Shaking his head~
Smith: The loveable loser makes his OCW Debut tonight. Grenier doesn't seem to concerned with people's safety. I think that could be getting to Zybala a little bit.
Hood: Make sure the medic is close by because I don't see things ending well for Jam G in an OCW ring.
~The scene opens up with the Rebel standing before the camera in full ring gear. Her long black hair is tied back in a wild spiked ponytail behind her head, a hand on her leather clad hip. Behind her was a simple wall that sported the massive "LOST AT SEA" banner, showing the USS Theodore Roosevelt in the middle of a choppy sea~
Rebel: Last week, I came to the ring because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Julliet Brooks was going to run her fucking mouth. I wasn't fully healed up or cleared to wrestle, but I felt more than ready to whup her ass if need be. She looked anxious and ready for a fight and I even offered her the first hit if she so felt inclined, considering I kind of sucker punched her last time. The result for showing a little honor among wrestlers was feeling two pins shoot into my ribs and suffering perhaps one of the most humiliating moments of my life.
~The Rebel slowly shakes her head.~
Rebel: Funny thing about that though, I may have been the one who pissed herself, but who's the one that couldn't do the job with her own two fucking hands. In fact, Julliet, the only way you've ever had an advantage of any kind is by grabbing a weapon and attacking me, first with a chair from behind then with a taser when we got up close and personal.
~She steps up to the camera with a withering stare in those brown eyes, filled with intensity and steely resolve.~
Rebel: If anything, I'm guilty of being too fucking nice to you, considering all I've done is slap the taste out of your mouth and lay you out with a Shot In the Dark. You've tried to cave my skull in and shocked me until I ruined a perfectly good pair of pants. I'd say at this point, you've more than earned everything I'm going to do to you at Lost At Sea, because there will be no rules, no limits, and the only way you're going to win is if you fucking kill me, bitch. You're going to have to step your game up because sweetheart, my Hardcore matches of old looked more like Death Matches where I used the entire arena to beat the ever. loving. FUCK.... out of my opponents.
~The Rebel tilts her head ever so slightly to the left, an otherwise sweet smile on her lips given a touch of derangement by the psychotic gleam in her eyes.~
Rebel: Like my song says I don't give in, I don't give up, I won't ever let it break me, I'm on fire, I'm a fighter, and I'll forever be the last one standing. You knocked me down, but not out, and I'm coming back for more, bitch. Bring a chair, bring a tazer, bring some motherfucking gasoline and a match because the only way you're going to stop me at Lost at Sea is if you kill me and burn the fucking body to ash just to make sure I don't come back from the dead to murder you. Julie, you've made the biggest fucking mistake of your life because with each trespass, you've succeeded in nothing more than pissing me the fuck off and when I get my hands on you next week, we're going to redefine suffering together.
~She then slipped forward and gripped the sides of the camera with both hands, pulling it intimately close with her face~
Rebel: I'm going to enjoy taking you on a date to hell, girlfriend.....
~And with that she planted a lingering kiss on the lens, smudging it with red lip stick and then turning and walking away.~
Wentz: I got Clash At the Coast! I got the first ever episode of Massacre! I got The Best of Bob Grenier! All for $5 each. If you need tickets for Lost at Sea, Got them too! The Dirty Pirate has you covered.
~The Lockwood Party emerge from the shadows and the potential customers leave. Wentz looks pissed~
Wentz: Hell no! Whoever just cut into my business you better be ready to throw some hands boy!
~Wentz turns around and is face to face with Tom and Jack. They lead him over to a dumpster and start putting the boots to him~
Tom: Shit! I got pirate blood on my kickers!
Jack: I got some on my knuckles dude.
~Tom and Jack lift Wentz up and toss him into the dumpster before exiting the scene. We see Zybala come walking up. He nods at the Lockwoods~
Zybala: Good job gentlemen. I'll take care of the rest. SHE'S ALL YOURS J.D.!!!
~Zybala points at the dumpster and a forklift truck pulls up in front of the dumpster, hooks it with the forks and dumps the contents into the back and they pulls away. We head back to Smith and Hood at ringside~
Smith: Apparently selling OCW memorabilia without a permit gets you a Lockwood ass kicking and Zybala taking out the trash.
Hood: Smith it's time!
Smith: Time for what?
Aunt Ruth vs. Rhonda Von Clapp
Belvedere: Ladies and gentleman.. The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: One Fall!
Belvedere: Introducing first, At a rail thin 91 pounds, and standing 4’10, Straight outta the great depression!! She is Aunt Fucking Ruth!!
~“Where The Hood at” By DMX plays once again and Ruth Ann Grenier emerges through the curtain! Behind her is Bob Grenier dressed in an Adidas tracksuit, He teaches his Aunt how to throw punches on the way down the aisle. She climbs into the ring and manages to climb onto the 2nd rope, she raises her cane in the air and the people chant “RUTH” over and over. Bob buries his head in his hands at ringside and laughs.~
~Aunt Ruth comes down from the 2nd rope and immediately makes her way over to Uber Man. She starts poking him in the chest and getting in his face, telling him he better call this thing “down the middle”. Uber Man grabs his Referee shirt and points out the stripes to Aunt Ruth, Assuring her he is an impartial referee. He warns her not to put her hands on him during the match or she will be disqualified~
Smith: The old broad is really giving it to Uber Man! She is taking this very seriously.
Hood: Ruth is drunk and jacked up, She is ready to go! Uber Man has no problem standing his ground either. Fresh off a quick training session, He’ll be out here the rest of the evening.
~The arena fills with the sound of a truck backing up and the tow truck driver/wrestler Rhonda Von Clapp emerges, She walks to the ring dragging a chain off of her rig and chewing a wad of tobacco. She wears a denim vest with a “Styx” patch and chews a wad of tobacco. Before she climps into the ring she spits a greasy wad that makes Uber Ma cringe. She climbs into the ring and takes the wad of tobacco from her cheek and puts it in Uber Mans hand. Uber looks horrified. He tosses it outside the ring~
Belvedere: And her opponent…Rhonda Von Clapp!!
~Aunt Ruth sizes up Von Clapp, They stand chest to chest. Ruth slaps Von Clapp in the mouth! Von Clapp laughs it off, she picks up Ruth and lays her down hard with a scoop slam. Ruth pops right back and asks Von Clapp it that's all she’s got? Von Clapp nails Aunt Ruth with a straight left to the jaw. Aunt Ruth slides out of the ring and catches her breath beside Bob. Uber Man very firmly starts his count as Von Clapp tells her to get back in the ring~
1..
2..
3...
~Bob takes a beer out of his pocket and Aunt Ruth chugs it down, She lights a cigarette and inhales deeply as Bob gives her instructions at ringside. Uber Man continues to count~
4..
5..
6..
7..
Hood: The old bitch is gonna get counted out! Get back in there Aunt Ruth!
Smith: Am I the only one in the building not entertained by this?
Hood: Live a little Hood! Bob Grenier Massacre is off the hook!
8..
9..
~Aunt Ruth flicks her cigarette and rolls back into the ring! She begins throwing lefts and rights, dazing Von Clapp, Uber Man gives her a warning about the closed fist. Aunt Ruth hits the stroke! Instead of going for the pin she picks Von Clapp up off the mat and locks in a front chancery. Von Clapp begins to pass out, Uber Man picks up her arm and it falls, The 2nd time Von Clapp has some life. Aunt Ruth looks right at her nephew before hoisting Von Clapp in the air and dropping her with a Hollinger Park Hangman! Aunt Ruth goes for the cover. Uber Man drops for the count.~
1..
2..
~Ruth pulls Von Clapp up at 2 and points to the top rope. The old woman ascends to the top rope with fire in her eyes! She makes it to the top with the help of Uber Man, Who wears a look of concern. Von Clapp is out on the mat and Aunt Ruth’s knees wobble~
Smith: This is dangerous! That woman is 92 years old and has no business in a ring let alone on the top rope. I can't watch this.
Hood: Fly baby fly!
~Grenier leans on the apron in silence with his head in his hands, watching and listening as everyone but him is encouraging this. Bob grabs a mic.~
Bob: Ok Ok Ok.. That's enough! Aunt Ruth get down from there, Uber Man please help her down! Get this tow truck driver out of here! We can still have fun on BOB GRENIER MASSACRE without the elderly being injured. A little too Zybala for me!
~Zybala comes out to the stage with a mic in hand. He looks smug as his music dies down~
Zybala: Now this! (Pointing and dripping with sarcasm) This is quality entertainment. Isn't it? Come on Bobby! Let them fight! Clearly your not comfortable with the decision you've made, but Aunt Ruth is more than willing. It's nice to see that some Grenier’s have a set. Uber Man, don't let Bob stop this match. Let her fight!! Let her fight!
~The crowd begins to chant along with him. Zybala shakes his head in disapproval and drops the mic, heading to the back. Aunt Ruth has beers now! Uber tries to coax her down but she refuses! She chugs them and gains her composure, hitting a massive frog splash! Her dentures fly out of her mouth as the crowd goes apeshit and Ruth goes for the cover. Uber drops to his knees~
1..
2..
3!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner, AUNT RUTH!!!
~The roar of the crowd is thunderous. They chant Ruth in unison. Bob makes his way into the ring and lifts her up to her knees, She pushes Bob away and grabs her dentures off the mat, shoving them back into her mouth. She gets to her feet, Grenier and Uber Man raise her arms in victory~
~We go backstage, Bob Grenier and Mike Zybala are face to face. Aunt Ruth is off celebrating her win while Chad Vargas and The Lockwood Party have seemingly disappeared for the evening. Zybala is holding a clear bottle with an amber colored liquid in it~
Bob: Like my show so far, Mike? I'm high as hell, A little drunk and still can run this better than you.
Mike: No, You've done a pretty piss poor job. At least, I had more faith in your own aunt than you did.
Ruth: Piss off fuck wit. I'm still waiting on my catering.
Zybala: And I told you that I'm not a waiter you old bat. But here, on the house.
~Zybala hands her the bottle. Ruth takes it with suspicion in her eyes~
Ruth: You trying to poison me boy?
Zybala: No ma'am. That bottle is 150 year old whiskey. I know a guy who collects that stuff, and I have obtained many a bottles from him. That one is a thank you for not only winning, but not dying on my watch in the ring. That paperwork looks like a bitch to fill out. I'm surprised nobody's died yet on this piss poor show!
Bob: I'll show you piss poor, The 4 way main event, That's now an Anchor Match, and it's for The Oh Shit Contract. How's that buddy boy? You know what else I'm gonna do? The winner of my main event tonight is also going to receive $100,000 cash! $100,000 that Welsh personally gave me, To put into my show! In the meantime, I'm also about to give you an jn ring lesson before we face each other next week. Watch and learn!
~Zybala does not look impressed with any of the freedom Welsh has given Grenier this evening. He points a finger in Grenier’s face and shakes his head before walking off~
~In a break between matches, the crowd is surprised to hear the iconic riff to Slayer's 'Raining Blood' echo across the arena for the second week in a row. Also like the time before, the classic 80s metal theme heralds the arrival of a slim blonde girl in a leather jacket and jeans, who makes her way to the ring with minimal fuss~
Smith: This young woman is known simply as Hellraven, and she is set to debut later this evening, as part of a four-way dance in tonight's Main Event! This is especially impressive considering it is reportedly her first ever professional match – but I'll tell you what, the nerves don't seem to have caught up to her just yet...
Hood: That's because she doesn't realize what we all already know. She's dead meat!
~Indeed, as Hellraven makes her way around the ring steps and towards the timekeeper's table, her expression is remarkably calm and collected. She barely gives any sign of being nervous as she approaches the same young technician she had spoken to a week ago, and once again asks for a microphone~
Smith: Hellraven, of course, said to have trained with former Ascension Champion Jacqui Monroe, in her dojo in Japan...
Hood: Aren't they mother and daughter or something? Some Freaky Friday type deal?
Smith: ...no...as far as I know they're just teacher and student...
Hood: Could have fooled me...
~As the two announcers banter, Raven climbs up the ring steps and squeezes herself through the top rope and into the squared circle. Once there, she slowly and ponderously makes her way across to the far turnbuckle, pausing for a moment to take in the Key West crowd before slumping down into a seated position. It is with her back against the turnbuckle and her legs bent in front of her that she first addresses the crowd~
Hellraven: It starts.
~A small reaction greets these words – one which the blonde speaks right over~
Hellraven: Last week, the Hellraven arrived in OCW...and now...here...tonight...she finally spreads her wings.
~A bigger reaction this time, though Raven barely reacts to it, instead simply continuing~
Hellraven: And I know what some of y'all are thinking. Main Event on my first match. I'm damn sure not ready. And with Melinda Rhodes in there as well! I'm gonna fucking die, right?
~The camera closes up on Raven, catching a glimpse of flashing blue eyes as she growls~
Hellraven: Wrong.
~The youth's tone becomes slightly more emotional as she continues~
Hellraven: The truth is...I may not be ready. I may be about to die. Or at least about to choke. But you know what? I'm gonna make 'em sweat. All of them. The Axeman. Jam Master G. Melinda. Y'all may end up killing me, but I'm gonna go down swinging. And when the night is done, no matter who wins...y'all gonna remember who I am. Y'all gonna remember my name.
~The camera closes in on the blonde again, just about capturing a smirk underneath the masses of long blond hair~
Hellraven: See, I am the future of this company. I am gonna be a big time player in this machine called OCW. I am the next big thing. I am the next generation.
~The youngster pauses again – a longer pause this time, letting the crowd take in and react to her words – before eventually adding~
Hellraven: And starting this moment......from now......from this moment on…
...this will be the moment...
...starting now...
….of the genesis...
...of Hellraven.
~With that, and as coolly as she had sat down, the blonde returns to her feet, handing the microphone back to her ringside accomplice before slipping underneath the top rope to the arena floor and making her way back up the ramp to the backstage area~
Smith: Some bold words from one of OCW's newest signings...though I have to take back what I said earlier about the nerves...
~The announcer pauses for a second, seeming to choose his words carefully, before eventually proceeding~
Smith: At any rate, Hellraven makes her OCW debut later tonight, along with Axel Veiga and Outlaw Wrestling's Jam G, as they take on the returning Melinda Rhodes in the Main Event to Bob Grenier's Massacre!
~We cut to a shot of a local establishment. It’s outside. There is a stage where bands come and perform. It’s a moderate setting. A sold out crowd would probably be something around 500 people. The place appears to be packed. The ‘crowd’ area is filled with stands selling beer, dirt surface, wooden picnic tables and employees dressed very sexually. The crowd is male heavy - however there are a few females in attendance wearing “VARGAS” and “MEYHU” shirts. We notice that the expensive drinks are priced at $13. Whereas the ‘Vargas Special’ is priced at $6.99. Ezra is on stage along with Treat Cassidy. Wielding a microphone is very, very rarely seen, fromer OCW commentator Jones. He’s got a bottle of water in his hand. The crowd is going wild with anticipation~
Jones: Well, it appears we’re all here. So let’s get down to business. As you all know we are here to witness the contract signing for next week’s OCW Championship Main Event between the OCW Champion, Matt Meyhu and the #1 Contender, Chad Vargas. Currently present on stage with me are their representatives, Ezra Rosenburg and Treat Cassidy. Now...before we can get anything done...let me introduce the OCW GM...and the man who was kind enough to break away from his vacation to take care of some business...Marcus Welsh!
~Marcus Welsh steps up onto the stage. The fans boo. He looks at them like “what the hell are you booing me for?” He’s got a binder under his arm which holds the contract. He shakes hands with both Ezra and Treat. Treat seems less interested in shaking Welsh’s hand than Ezra. Marcus ignores the attitude~
Marcus Welsh: I don’t get why you people are booing. I’m giving you this epic main event. I mean Vargas against Meyhu...Meyhu defending against Vargas...Vargas challenging Meyhu...Meyhu attempting to solidify his OCW legacy against Vargas...it’s a dream match!
~The crowd takes a positive turn. It does sound like a pretty kickass match. One fan yells “IT’S NOT SIGNED YET! HE COULD STILL FUCK US!” Welsh ignores the outburst. We see a few members of OCW security remove the guy from the crowd~
Marcus Welsh: Now, before we get started I just wanted to apologize to all of you who have been watching tonight’s show. I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t book one, single moment of it. It was not my doing. Think of it as that really shitty episode during a season of your favorite TV show that has nothing to do with any of the storylines. It’s just there - for whatever reason.
~The crowd boos. One fan yells out “I’VE BEEN WATCHING IT. IT’S GREAT!” He, too, is removed...much more aggressively, beaten unconscious by security while being dragged away~
Marcus Welsh: However, given the alternative...a ZYBALA Massacre...I’d say this show will probably come off as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Anyway...enough about the silliness taking place inside OCW Arena. Let’s get down to business. First, allow me to introduce the challenger...a man who needs no introduction. He is a former OCW Champion, a Hall of Famer and, most importantly, the #1 Contender to the OCW Championship. He is “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!
~"Needle and the Spoon" by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits. The crowd gives a mixed reaction. It sounds like he’s getting more cheers than boos. Call it the nostalgia factor. Vargas steps up onto the stage. He’s got an expensive pair of shades on, looking out over the crowd. He walks over to Treat. They have a small conversation. They definitely appear on their toes~
Marcus Welsh: And, now, his opponent...the reigning, defending OCW Champion...he was the 2017 Heel of the Year...the face of OCW...the man himself...please welcome “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu!!!
~“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits. The crowd boos. It’s almost unanimous. It’s pretty obvious who the company is behind which makes it that much harder to pull for the guy. Meyhu, as always, seems to appreciate the boos. He steps onto the stage with an arrogance about him that is unrivaled. The OCW Title is draped over his shoulder. The gold plate has never looked brighter. Vargas stares at him, shaking his head. Treat gets on his phone, acting like he’s not paying attention. Meyhu reaches Ezra and gives him a very strong pat on the back~
Marcus Welsh: Champ...Vargas...great of you two to make it. Now, before we get down to signing these things…
~Vargas yanks the mic from Welsh~
Chad Vargas: I just wanted to say that if this match isn’t called down the middle. If I’m screwed in any way, shape or form then you can expect legal action. I’m tired of YOUR guys...these Aptitude fuckers getting all the special treatment. It was guys like ME who rebuilt this company. I DESERVE some fucking respect!
~The crowd cheers. A ‘VARGAS’ chant breaks out. Treat nods, approvingly. It becomes clear these two aren’t playing around. Vargas drops the mic on the mat, just before Welsh can retrieve it. The crowd goes “ooohhhh”. Welsh is clearly pissed. He nods at Jones, who retrieves the mic and hands it to him~
Marcus Welsh: Well, okay then. Now…
~Meyhu politely asks Welsh for the mic~
Marcus Welsh: Well of course, champ. Anything for the face of OCW.
~Welsh hands the mic to Meyhu~
Matt Meyhu: You gotta update your complaints, Chad! Look around. The Aptitude is long gone. But I’m still here. That’s because, as our fearless leader just stated, I am the FACE of OCW. You want some respect? You’re getting a lot more than you deserve just by sharing the ring with me.
~Vargas is furious. He can stand to hear no more. He storms toward Meyhu. Meyhu smiles, thrusting the shoulder with the OCW title forward, mocking Vargas. Welsh snaps his fingers. Security storms the stage, getting in between the two. Treat tries to pull Chad back. Ezra complains about Vargas to Welsh. Vargas finally calms down enough to keep from trying to assault Meyhu~
Marcus Welsh: Okay, that’s enough! Chad, you have got to calm down. Security, keep your hands on him.
Marcus Welsh: This is for the champion’s safety. I can’t have this lunatic ruining the face of my company - especially before Lost at Sea!
Treat Cassidy: Let him go, Welsh. He’s fine, I assure you. This is no way to treat a hall of famer.
Marcus Welsh: Oh shut up, Cassidy.
Chad Vargas: The fix is in, Treat. I told you. We can’t trust this mother fucker.
~Meyhu pats Welsh on the shoulder and gets between him and Vargas~
Matt Meyhu: The fix is always in whenever something doesn’t go your way, right Vargas? Let’s be honest. You know you can’t beat me. You’re simply getting the excuse ready. Your OCW was a minor league. I brought this company back to major league status.
~Vargas is furious. He breaks away and throws a straight right hand. Meyhu ducks! The punch nails Welsh in the face! Welsh falls to the ground, unconscious. There is an immediate hush over the crowd. Vargas looks down at Welsh in shock. Meyhu looks down, amused. He appears to say “Oh you’re fucked now.” We can hear Treat saying over and over “What did you do, Chad? What have you done?!” Medics check on Welsh. They help him sit up. He finally gets to his feet, thanks to an outstretched hand from Meyhu. Welsh appears confused~
Marcus Welsh: What...what happened? I blacked out.
Matt Meyhu: Vargas attacked you.
Chad Vargas: Fuck you, Meyhu!
~Vargas lunges at Meyhu but is restrained far better this time. He’s pulled away from Meyhu and Welsh. Treat is even helping keep Chad away, knowing he’s blinded with rage. Welsh looks up and sees the replay of what took place on a giant screen, near the stage. He hears a few fans laugh. A few of them cheer - this does not help his mood~
Marcus Welsh: You think you can punch me and get away with it?
Chad Vargas: Oh calm down, I wasn’t aiming for you. It was you fuckboy who moved out of the way.
Marcus Welsh: I’ve just about had enough of you, Vargas. You need to be taught a lesson. I’m issuing a thirty day suspension.
Chad Vargas: Oh big fucking deal. Meyhu has already shown the OCW champion doesn’t have to wrestle but once every two months. I’ll just win the title and go on vacation.
Marcus Welsh: Effective IMMEDIATELY
~The crowd gasps. Vargas is speechless. Treat turns around, staring at Welsh in disbelief. Even Meyhu seems blindsided by the announcement. But Welsh...he’s a hundred percent dialed in~
Marcus Welsh: Because of your actions you will NOT face Meyhu for the OCW Title at Lost at Sea. You are going home and you will not be back until your thirty day suspension is up!
Chad Vargas: Oh yea? Well I QUIT
~The crowd boos! “FUCK YOU WELSH’ is the initial chant followed by “PLEASE DON’T QUIT!” Welsh is shaking he’s so angry~
Marcus Welsh: Get this animal out of my sight...NOW
~Treat remains while Vargas is hauled off~
Treat Cassidy: This will not stand, Welsh. You can’t treat legends like this. You will regret this decision.
~Welsh refuses to respond. Treat pulls out his phone and makes a call while walking away - most likely to his legal team. Welsh, Meyhu and Ezra remain~
Marcus Welsh: Meyhu, champ...I appreciate everything you have done and continue to do for OCW. I’m sorry things turned out the way that they did. I’d like to give you the night off at Lost at Sea but we do need an OCW Title Match. So...at Lost at Sea you will defend your OCW Title against Curt Canon and Mack O’Connor in a triple threat match.
Matt Meyhu: Wait… What? Are you sure about that? That’s a pretty big decision to make, given all you just went through. Why don’t you go rest a little before making this official!
Marcus Welsh: There’s no time, Champ. I’m sorry, but this is the only option we have left.
~OCW security wheels a chair onto the stage. Welsh takes a seat and is wheeled off leaving Ezra and Meyhu behind. Ezra shakes his head as Meyhu stands still, stunned. A look of concern creeps over the champs face.~
Smith: HOOD! Oh my gosh...Vargas...he's out of the main event?
Hood: Are you fucking kidding me? My dream match, ruined?
Smith: It's official, I'm being told. The Main Event at Lost at Sea will now be Matt Meyhu defending against Curt Canon and Mack O'Connor...what a match! I mean, I'm disappointed we didn't get our Vargas/Meyhu clash but that triple threat is insane
Hood: Curt Canon's first OCW Title match in 20 years
Smith: You've got someone from OCW's first era...a person from their renaissance in 2014 and the leader of this new group of stars...what a grouping!
Hood: What's the stip?
Smith: I'm being told it's a standard match.
Hood: Well that kinda blows
Smith: I'm actually excited. Some good, old fashioned wrestling. It should be great.
Hood: As long as Meyhu is in the ring...it will be.
Smith: He is talented, obviously. Well folks, it's time for our next match. Let's head down to the ring.
Alice Knight (10-2) vs. Bob Grenier (14-9)
~We cut to Belvedere who is already in the ring. Like the week before, he looks especially professional for this match, tie straight, suit pressed. The image of professionalism. Because once again, this match has TWO former OCW Champions. There are "ALICE!" and “BOB!” chants going amongst the people. Truly a split crowd~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~The crowd yells in unison ‘ONE FALL!’ Belvedere does his best to suppress a smile. What started as a small response from Outsiders has worked it's way to the main show and makes Belvedere feel like a star. “Where the Hood At” by DMX begins echoes throughout the arena and Bob Grenier makes his way out to a nice ovation. He slaps the hands of his fans while he mouths the words of the song to himself, about half way down the aisle he stops and looks up and throws both hands in the air in tribute to his deceased relatives. He looks directly into the OCW camera and then playfully turns it towards the audience before he slides under the bottom rope. The fans continue to cheer as he sits on the top turnbuckle silently awaiting his opponent.
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222 lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is…Bob Grenier!
~The crowd is cheering for Bob. He sits atop the buckle and looks out at the crowd for a bit before looking at Uber-Man, giving him a thumbs up. Bob then looks down the ramp, waiting for this much anticipated rematch. Electrified” by Dressy Bessy hits!! The fans go wild!~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she too is a former OCW Champion…Alice Knight!!!
~From the side of the stage a tiny RV drives in. A trail of smoke follows. It pulls up right outside of the barricades. Alice Knight stumbles out of the RV wearing an OWL themed helmet with a feathered Mohawk sprouting from the top. She looks around at the fans who are cheering~
Smith: Well this is a stroll down memory lane!
Hood: Ugh, I'd like to drive that R.V. over this unoriginal bitch.
Smith: That LADY! isn't being unoriginal. She's sending a message to Grenier, reminding him who won last time they squared off.
Hood: Believe me, Bob doesn't need a reminder. He's looking forward to evening the score with this nutbag.
~Alice take off the helmet and leaves it in the R.V. As she makes her way to the ring, Alice points at the fans. They go crazy! They are wearing owl masks, they are chanting ‘OWL IS NIGHT!’ and Owlie the Owl is strutting around, starting HOOT chants. Alice gets in the ring and gives a thumbs up and claps, she’s very excited. Her music stops playing and her eyes fall upon not Bob, but the Uber Man. She blushes a little and Uber Man tries to puff out his chest to look more manly. Grenier sees this and wonders if he made a mistake in letting Uber Man ref this. Uber Man walks over to Grenier amd starts to pat him down, checking for weapons. All good. Uber Man walks over to Alice, who has an awkward smile on her face. Uber Man is acting like Kif Kroker as her gently checks Alice, stuttering and stammering~
Hood: Son of a bitch!!
Smith: What?
Hood: I forgot these two had a thing for each other! At first I thought Bob had this on lock, giving Uber the reffing job, but now this costume goober is gonna screw Bob in hopes that he gets screwed later by Alice! I call favoritism! I bet Zybala planned this all along!
Smith: A. Uber Man has been calling things down the middle all night. And B. Zybala has nothing to do with any of tonight's booking. This was all a "Bob Grenier's Massacre" as he's been shouting it all night.
Hood: Still Zybala's fault somehow.
~Uber Man calls for the bell and the match is underway! Bob and Alice meet in the middle of the ring and lock up. Using his weight advantage, Bob starts pushing Alice towards the ropes. As soon as Alice's back touches the ropes Uber Man starts a fast five count. Confused, Bob releases Alice and backs away. Uber Man rushes to Alice's side and begins to ask her if she's okay, if she can continue, stuff like that, being an overprotective hero. Alice nods that she's okay and goes after Bob, who is ready and waiting. He sidesteps Alice and grabs her wrist, spinning her arm and trapping her in a wrist lock! Alice looks to be in mild discomfort as Uber Man looks to be on the verge of tears! But he most do his job. He asks Alice if she wishes to quit; she replies no and then counters to put Bob in a wrist lock of her own. ~
~The fans cheer and so does Uber Man, who then blushes and clears his throat to compose himself. He then asks Grenier if he wishes to quit. Bob looks at him like "this ain't shit", spins under him own to relieve the pressure, grabs Alice and throws her against the ropes. On the return, Bob attempts a spinning back elbow, but Alice ducks and continues her momentum towards the opposite ropes. She jumps on the middle ropes and uses it to flip backwards towards Grenier, grabbing his head in a reverse D.D.T. position while landing on her feet. Before she can drop, Grenier wraps his arms around the waist of Alice and in an impressive show of balance and strength, lifts her up into a Tombstone position! Alice manages to wriggle out by sliding down Grenier's back and dropkicks him from behind. Bob staggers into the ropes, but quickly recovers and rushes at Alice, who is just getting to her feet. He ducks his head under her arm, grabs her around the waist and flips her over with a beautiful Northern Lights Suplex! Bob holds on with the bridge, and flips himself over to land on his feet, still holding on to Alice. He picks her up and hits her with another Northern Lights, and repeats the flip and lifts for a THIRD Suplex! The fans are cheering this impressive show of athleticism~
~Bob holds Alice in the air for a moment before flipping her over! Bob releases Alice and stands over her to take a bow. Uber Man rushes over to check on his betrothed. She tries to tell him that she can continue, but Uber Man tries to convince her otherwise. The audience starts to come alive with HOOTS to try and rally Alice. Bob leans over and drapes his arm around Uber Man's shoulders and gently drags him away from Alice, assuring him that she will be fine. Uber Man looks distraught but Bob pats him on the back and gives him a thumbs up. While Bob is distracted, Alice sneaks up on him and rolls him up! Uber Man dives too make the count!~
1..
2...
~Grenier kicks out and looks annoyed at the faster than usual count. He quickly gets to his feet and waits for Alice to get to go her feet.~
Hood: SHENANIGANS!!! I CALL SHENANIGANS!!
Smith: I agree. Maybe Uber Man can't be trusted with this match.
Hood: Maybe?!? MAYBE?! Stevie Wonder could call this match better!
~As Alice slowly gets to her feet, trying to shake off the suplexes. Grenier is waiting eagerly and as soon as Alice turns to face him, he launches forward with a superkick!! Uber Man sees the kick coming and dives to get in the way! The kick connects with Uber Man's chin and down goes Uber! Grenier is just standing there confused as Alice cries out in concern and goes to kneel next to Uber~
Smith: What the hell just happened?
Hood: That idiot let love win over common sense! WEAK ASS EVERYTHING! Who thought this would be a good idea?
~As everyone is confused about what the hell is happening, we see Zybala come running down the ramp holding a boombox. He stops right by the side of the ring, hits a few buttons and holds the boombox over his head. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" start playing and Uber Man starts to stir. The power of love and romance is giving him strength. Alice helps him to his feet and Uber Man looks at Grenier. Bob apologizes for the kick, and Uber Man begrudgingly accepts the apology~
Smith: Well that was big of him to accept Bob's apology.
Hood: "Big of him??" He wouldn't have got kicked if he didn't jump in the way!
~After making sure that Uber Man is really okay, Alice turns her attention back to Grenier. She is glaring at Bob with evil intentions in her eyes. Bob doesn't back down. If fact he looks her dead in the eye with a "bring it on bitch" attitude. Alice rushes at Bob and ducks her head going for a spear. Bob plants his feet to brace himself but Alice stops short and feints to the right and stands up to connect a quick jab to Bob's jaw! Grenier is reeling, both from the pain and surprise, and Alice continues her attack. She is peppering Grenier with left and right jabs all over. Striking his face, chest, midsection, anything she can connect with. Uber Man is cheering on his lady love, but then remembers that he's the ref. He goes over to warn her about the closed fist and after one last stiff shot to the right of Bob's face, she nods and says okay. The former champ staggers back trying to shake the cobwebs but Alice doesn't give him the chance. She plants a big kick to the Bob's stomach, causing him to double over. Alice grabs him and butterflies the arm while tucking his head under her arm and drops him with a double arm D.D.T.!~
Smith: Alice is feeling the rage!
Hood: What for?! Uber Man tool the kick purposely, it's not Bob's fault. And will someone take that boombox away from Zybala!!
~Zybala is still holding the boombox playing the famous song. Bob is out on the canvas. Alice rolls him on his back then runs at the ropes. When she bounces back, she rolls towards Bob with a rolling thunder! But as she flips in the air, Bob gets his knees up and Alice comes crashing down into them, crying out in pain. Uber Man cries out as well, but quickly composes himself and strikes a heroic pose when he realizes people are looking at him. Alice is holding her back, writhing on the mat. Grenier gets up and starts stomping away at her, then drops a few elbows to her chest for good measure. Uber Man looks as if he wants to interfere but his duty as a ref won't allow it. Grenier lines Alice up in his sight, sweeps one leg back and leaps in the air with a beautiful standing shooting star! Before it hits, Alice gets her knees up this time and Grenier lands on them, driving the air from his lungs!~
~He rolls off of Alice’s knee and both superstars are laying on the mat. There are chants of "Alice" and "Bob" going through the crowd; the fans trying to rally their favorite to their feet. Suddenly, Peter Gabriel stops playing and Zybala ejects the tape, and flips it around before re-inserting it. If you have to ask what this means you're too young to be here and know that all the older people hate you. Zybala then closes the tape deck and presses play. Emmy nominated South Park: The Movie hit "Blame Canada" starts playing! As Bob crawls to the ropes he is glaring at Zybala. Uber Man is gently helping Alice to her feet then making sure she's okay. She nods then rushes over to Grenier and grabs his legs, drags him back to the center of the ring and locks in an ankle lock! Bob is in pain, but most of it is dulled by the booze and pot. Bob tries to drag himself to the ropes with Alice holding onto his ankle as if she's trying to break it. Bob is so close to the ropes! He lifts his arm high for one big last reach. He brings his arm down and get fingers just barely miss the ropes by a hair! Grenier's hand hits the mat hard and Uber Man cheers and calls for the bell!~
Hood: Wait! What?!? NOOOOO!
Smith: I think so Hood. The ref might be calling it here!
~Uber Man walks to the ropes and talks to Belvedere, who nods.~
Belvedere: Here is your winner by submission, ALICE KNIGHT!!!
Hood: This whole match was bullshit! Weak Ass reffing!
Smith: It was a bit fishy, but I guess Uber Man called the match the way he saw it.
~The fans go nuts with cheers and hoots as Uber Man raises Alice’s hand in victory, looking as red as a tomato, blushing by holding her hand. He reluctantly let's her go and goes to check on an grumpy Grenier, who's too high to be fully mad. We can here him mutter something about “pussycat clouding the mind” and excepts Uber’s hand to get to his feet. Bob makes his way up the ramp while sparking a joint along the way. Alice celebrates with the fans a little bit more before heading towards the back herself. Before we go to the next segment, something has caught Smith’s eye!~
Smith: Wait a damn minute. Who's up there?
Hood: Who's up where?
~Smith looks up as the cameras follow shortly. Once the spotlight does too, we see dangling feet. The individual leans forward and... sitting on the light setup above the ring is... Axel Veiga! Axel Veiga is sat oh-so dangerously on the lighting rig!~
Hood: Are those cables strong enough to support a human being?
Smith: Seems to be. But with how oiled and sweaty all these wrestlers are, isn't he gonna sleep?
Hood: It'd be a viewer boost, for sure.
~Veiga himself seems to look puzzled, while staring at the crowd.~
Veiga: So many folks in attendance but... how come the seats look so empty? I look at the heads raised to me right now. And sure, you're there. But not a single one of you have value to me. You're all throwaway fans, meaningless members to society. You're numbers, coming and going. Sure you were given a name at birth and carried on a surname, but none've you have made a name for yourself. I'm... shocked. Appaled, even.~
~The crowd, as expected, responds with rejection and boo's.~
Hood: Is he really trashtalking the audience from up there?
Smith: Could've just done so in the ring.
Veiga: Look at all of you! You're so enraged by what I'm saying. How come you feel so insulted? Isn't this what you all know deep down inside as fact? You complain to the governments that they treat you like nothing but a number, your employer. Yet somehow here, where you're faceless and ultimately meaningless, you think you matter? Correct me if I'm wrong. But didn't you all pay money to see people with actual names to them compete?
~Some people are lobbing trash, obviously unsuccesfully, his way. Staff is cleaning it from the ring.~
Smith: If this is a refund strategy to get some of our simple merch back, it's working. Oop, there goes another... was that a shirt? Alright.
~Whilst holding the cable, Veiga climbs to his feet and makes his way around the rig to eventually end up on top of the titantron.~
Veiga: None of you deserve to even be in the pressence of someone like me. Even if you paid for it. Remain obscure and tainted by society like the motherfuckers you are. I am the cleanse you fucking need. For I!..
Hood: Here it comes...
Veiga: AM AXEL... VEIGA!
~Thunderous boo's rain, but Veiga seems less than bothered by it. He performs his signature taunt before turning and scaling down the titantron via a ladder unseen by the crowd.~
Smith: Well, that certainly worked up the audience.
Hood: If his intent was to get a response, he got one. And a really strong one, at that.
Smith: What is an Anchor Match and does Bob Grenier have the authority to put the oh shit contract on the line?! Where is this $100 grand coming from as well!?
Hood: I think he does Smith, Bob Grenier is calling the shots here tonight! What a bombshell. He's pulling out all the stops.
Smith: Belvedere is in the ring, To tell us about this “Anchor Match”.
“The Rebel” Melinda Rhodes (1-2) vs. Hellraven (0-0) vs. Axel Veiga (0-0) vs. JAM G (0-0)
~Bob Grenier comes down the aisle quickly and takes a seat at the commentary table. He holds a clipboard in one hand and a burlap sack in the other.~
Smith: It appears as though Bob will be joining us on commentary.
Hood: BOB GRENIER MASSACRE BABY!
Bob: You guys having a good time tonight or what? I appreciate your enthusiasm Hood! How are you Smith?
Smith: I'm great, Quite a show you’ve put on. I really wanna know where that $100,000 is coming from! Is this match officially for the Oh Shit Contract?
~Bob puts a contract down on the desk and places the bag next to it.~
Belvedere: The following contest is your main event of the evening and is an “Anchor Match”.. The match begins with two participants, The other two will be Anchored down at ringside with nowhere to go.. At 10 minute intervals the others will be released and the match can't be won until all 4 participants have been placed into the match. No count outs, No disqualification.
~The crowd cheers huge as they usually do for new OCW innovations like this is. A “BOB IS AWESOME” chant breaks out.~
Belvedere: The winner of this match will receive the OCW Oh Shit! Contract, Allowing the holder to exchange it for an immediate title shot anytime in the next year, for any title excluding the OCW Championship and $100,000!
~We see 2 large rusty anchors at ringside with a chain attached to them. The ring crew makes sure everything is in place and give the thumbs up. Smith is looking at the contract and peeks into the bag.~
Smith: There is certainly a shit load of cash in the bag. Bob Grenier is not playing! Who came up with this Anchor Match concept?
Bob: Damn right I'm not! All me dude! This is legit. Somebody is about to be made on BOB GRENIER MASSACRE!
Belvedere: Introducing first, From a shitty reality where nobody cares about him, making his professional debut.. From Outsiders Championship Wrestling, He's Just Another Masked Guy! JAM G!!!!
~“No One Knows” by Queens of the Stone Age blares through the arena and Jam G busts through the curtain, He tries to look intimidating but weighing 110 pounds that is rather difficult to pull off. He adjusts his mask and rolls into the ring, He climbs to the top rope and a mild “G” chant breaks out~
Smith: Jam G has about the saddest life a man could ever have. I'm glad he gets to live out his dream here this evening!
Bob: So am I gentleman! I'm happy I could make a poor man's dream come true tonight!
Hood: His wife and daughter are probably at home, taking turns being plowed in the family bed.. and here he is!
Smith: You are not wrong.
~Halestorm's, "Black Vultures" assaults the P/A system. Through the curtains steps a fit, pale skinned, raven haired and heavily tattooed woman, her fist raised up in the air. Her dark brown eyes wander over the crowd as she stands upon the stage, taking it all in for a moment. On her face we find dark crimson painted on her full lips and red highlighted black eye shadow over her eyes. Her modest chest is contained by a fringed red and blue leather vest, her ass covered by black and silver tights. She sports standard black pads on her elbows and knees, with knee high laced wrestling boots to match. On her wrists are red, white, and blue bands. Upon her hips rests a thick black leather belt with a large and square silver buckle that reads in an ornate font, "REBEL."~
Belvedere: ON HER WAY TO THE RING....
~She makes her way to the ring with a confident stride. It doesn't take her long to reach ringside. She climbs the steps, wipes her feet on the apron, and slips through the ropes. Rebel Rhodes then backs into a corner of her choosing and waits.....~
Belvedere: FROM ROME, GEORGIA, STANDING AT FIVE FEET AND ELEVEN INCHES TALL AND WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO POUNDS...
RRRRRREEEEBBBBBEEEEEELLLLL RRRRRRHHHHHHOOOOODDDDDDEEEESSSSS!!!!
~Melinda raises her arm with a three finger salute to the fans.~
Smith: Rhodes has been blessed this evening with the chance of a lifetime. Well deserved I might add.
Hood: A chance courtesy of Bob Fucking Grenier! They've had words and both knocked each other out of prime spots, This is his way of giving back! I hope she takes advantage of this gift.
Smith: I'm all in on Rhodes tonight!
Bob: I've been in the ring with her twice. I may have sold her short, but I'm Bob Grenier and I don't give much praise to anyone! I will say that yes, I gave her this opportunity as a reward for her hard work and efforts.
Hood: Bob Grenier does it better!
Bob: I say that, Choad!
~Vega Core by Mick Gordon plays as Axel Veiga walks down the ramp. His expression reads as if he's about to witness something joyous while his body motions are quite fluid and loose. He quickly slides into the ring to be introduced by the ring announced~
Belvedere: "Hailing from Newcastle, England. Now residing in Mission Viejo, California. He weighs 220 pounds. Making his OCW Debut..AXXEEEEEEEL... VEEEEEEIIIGAAAAA!"
~As his name is spoken, an extended pinky and thumb cut the throat of Axel Veiga as he rises with a sick grimace on his face before sliding into the corner on his knee and turning quickly.~
Belvedere: And their opponent…
~The sounds of a thunderstorm echo across the arena speakers as purplish-blue spotlights come to life near the entrance ramp. At their centre, head down, arms folded, is a tall and slender figure, their long hair falling forward onto their face and partially obscuring it. ~
~The figure remains in this position until a moment later, when the rainstorm transitions into the iconic opening guitar lead to Slayer's 'Raining Blood'. At the same time as this transition occurs, the blue spotlights go out, leaving the house lights to illuminate what is now clearly seen to be a young woman. As the riff begins, she uncrosses her arms, holding them out to each side in a double show of the metal horns as she indulges in a spot of headbanging.~
~Then, as the legendary lead gives way to mid-tempo riffing, the girl makes her way down the ramp, keeping her focus on the ring but not neglecting the occasional outstretched hand in her path. Once at ringside, she scales the steel steps and lets herself in through the middle rope. From there, she makes her way across the mat to the furthest turnbuckle and slumps down into a seated position, her arms resting on her knees. She retains this position right up until the bell rings, at which point she stands up and coolly removes her leather jacket, before stepping forward to start the match.~
Belvedere: From Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’7 and weighing in at 130lbs…Hellraven!!!
~As Axel and Hellraven are anchored to the corner, Rhodes is smiling savagely at JAM G. This poor schmuck has no clue what he's in for. Uber Man offers some words of encouragement to his former Outsiders partner, then rings the bell. JAM G listens and nods, looking pumped up and ready. Uber Man checks both competitors then calls for the bell. JAM G charges at Rhodes, who simply sidesteps him and counters with a Diamond Cutter!~
Smith: Shot in the Dark!
Hood: And just like that, JAM G is done.
Smith: But Rhodes can't make a pin until everyone is in the match.
Hood: Damn, that's right. How much time is left?
Smith: 9 minutes and 34 seconds until the next person enters.
Hood: This is gonna be a looooong night.
Bob: I still got some of that weed.
Hood: Spark that shit up! I love BOB GRENIER'S MASSACRE!
~Bob starts to light the joint. Action back to the ring. Melinda Rhodes stands up and looks down at JAM G, who is laying on the mat, lifeless. She prods him with her foot, but gets no response. She shrugs and moves to a corner and starts stretching. Probably warming up for the real challengers. The fans start booing at all the nonaction. Rhodes hears this and decides to pass the time by making sport of JAM G. She picks him up from behind, lifts him if the air and drops him across her knee with a backbreaker. There is a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd. There are particularly loud cheers in the front row. The camera cuts over and we see Eddie Johnson's family cheering the abuse. They're all holding signs. His wife's reads “JAM G HAS A MICRODICK!” His daughter's says “KILL JAM G! HIS INSURANCE IS MORE USEFUL THAN HIM!” The son's reads “MY DAD IS A FAGGOT!” Jam G thankfully can't see these as he is laying out cold on the mat. Rhodes looks down and ponders what to do next. She then picks up Jam G and makes him stand in the middle of the ring. Jam G is on spaghetti legs but is able to stand, that is until Rhodes comes running at him and nearly splits Jam G in half with a sick spear! The Johnson family cheers at this as do some of the fans.~
Bob: GORE!!
Smith: LAWSUIT!!
Hood: MORE POT!
Bob: HELL YEAH!
~Bob pulls out some more blunts and hands one to Hood and lights two for himself as the crowd begins to boo again. Uber Man looks around, somewhat relieved the chant isn't directed as him. Rhodes is standing in the corner, conserving her strength for the other opponents. Jam G is still on the ground and crawling towards the outside of the ring. He makes it to the edge and pulls himself out, crashes to the ground and crawls under the ring. Rhodes shrugs and looks at Bob as the crowd starts chanting “BORING” ~
Bob: This shit IS boring!
Hood: Maybe you should give everyone pot. That would mellow them out.
Smith: We can't legally drug the whole audience. Maybe we shouldn't have booked the weakest guy to start the match.
Bob: Oh shit. I didn't think have that. I was really high when I put Jam G in. (stands up and yells at Uber Man) LET THE OTHER TWO OUT! SPEED THE PACE UP!
~Uber Man gets out of the ring and frees Hellraven and Axel Veiga. They both run into the ring and charge after Rhodes, who stands her ground. Hellraven goes high and Axel goes for the midsection and they push her into the corner and start punching and kicking away at her. Uber Man tries to start a count before a confused look crosses his face. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small book. He opens and reads a few paragraphs before closing the book and putting it back in his pocket.~
Uber Man: THERE ARE NO DQS IN MULTI-PERSON MATCHES!
~Uber Man stands back and let's the attack continue. Rhodes drops to her butt and her opponents continue to stomp away. Hellraven backs away and pulls Axel back with her. Hellraven grabs his wrist and whips him towards Rhodes, when Axel reverses and hurls her towards the corner. Hellraven runs at Rhodes and drives her knee into the side of Rhodes head. Melinda slumps in the corner and Hellraven turns towards Axel, who is already in the air coming down! He drives Hellraven in the corner with a Stinger Splash, which causes Hellraven to land on top of Rhodes. Axel backs away from the downed women and looks at them. He lines them up and runs towards his opponents. Hellraven quickly gets up, does a 360 spin and levels Axel with a lariat!~
Smith: And Hellraven with a spinning clothesline! Quoth The Raven!
Hood: NEVER MORE!
Bob: Wait! There's no more pot??
Hood: What?!
Smith: That's the name of her move!
Hood: Who?
Bob: Edgar Allan Poe?
Smith: I'm too contact high for this?
~Axel goes down and Hellraven falls with him and quickly goes for the cover. Before Uber Man can do for the count, Rhodes grabs her ankle and pulls her off. She throws Hellraven out of the ring and jumps on top of Axel herself. Uber Man is in position and makes the count~
1…..
2…….
KICKOUT!
~Axel gets his shoulder before Uber Man slaps the mat for the third time. Rhodes slaps the mat angrily and stands up, dragging up Axel by the hair with her. Hellraven grabs Rhodes foot from under the ropes, distracting her. Axel takes advantage and boots Rhodes in the midsection and drops her with a d.d.t. as Hellraven pulls the foot, adding to the impact. Hellraven keeps pulling and drags Rhodes out of the ring and slides in herself. She is met with a poke to the eyes from a sitting Axel. Uber Man starts to yell at Axel, who claims his innocence, saying it was an accident. Uber Man gives him a stern warning and Axel nods, then turns his attention back to Hellraven. He stands up and rocks her with a European uppercut! He then grabs her by the head and throws her between the ropes right into Rhodes, who was just getting to her feet. Axel waits as both his opponents start to stand and runs at the opposite ropes to gain momentum the runs towards the women, who have started duking it out at ringside, and swanton over the top rope, crashing into Hellraven and Rhodes! All three are on the floor as Uber Man leans over the top rope to check out the carnage. Behind him, Jam G has climbed back into the ring and goes to stand next to Uber Man, startling him. Uber Man then realizes that one of the match participants is in the ring and begins a ten count!~
Smith: Ten count being administered…we could see the upset of all upsets
Hood: It’ll probably happen…this year seems to be the year of the fucking goofball in OCW
Smith: While I’m no fan of some of these characters, you have to give them the same chance as everyone else
Hood: No Smith, no you do not
~Uber yells ‘FIVE!’ We see Axel on his feet, looking down at Raven and Rhodes. He stomps on Raven…then on Rhodes, going back and forth, enjoying the added insult to injury. Uber yells “EIGHT!” Axel finishes the stomping and slides back into the ring where he’s face to face with JAM G. Uber finishes the count~
Smith: Well so much for a count out. Axel wasn’t going to cut it too close. He’s in this to win it, Hood and he may very well do that
Hood: Guy is talented and focused.
Smith: Indeed
~Jam G tries a head butt. He hits it but does more damage to himself than Axel. Veiga shoves the stunned JAM G into the nearest corner and unleashes a flurry of lefts and rights. He steps back, allowing JAM G the space to stumble forward. He unleashes a hellacious Knife Edged Chop!! Jam G goes flying back into the corner, slamming hard into the buckles. Axel yanks him out, hooks him and drops him with a snap suplex. He goes for the pin. Uber slides in for the count~
1!
2!
NO!
Smith: A break up by Melinda Rhodes!
Hood: The hell did she come from?
Smith: Outside the ring
~Rhodes pulls Axel up and knees him in the gut. She hooks him for a DDT. From behind we see HellRaven! She smacks Rhodes in the back of the head with a wild forearm! Rhodes lets go of Axel and staggers forward. Axel responds with another knife edged chop…Rhodes turns around, after the impact, facing Raven. Raven lifts a knee into Rebel’s face! Rebel falls to her knees. Axel and Raven, as if they had planned it ahead of time, throw dual kicks into the chest of Rhodes, sending her crashing onto her back. They stand, over Rhodes, looking at one another~
Smith: Those are two of the best young talents I can remember, Hood…and they are working together to take out the veteran Melinda Rhodes
Hood: She’s the fucking favorite…the biggest threat…makes sense to me
Smith: Does the team work end here?
Bob: Probably
Smith: Bob! You’ve been awfully quiet
Bob: Just really into this match, Smith!
~Rhodes starts to sit up. Raven drops to her knees and she grabs Rhodes by the head, slamming the back of her skull into the mat repeatedly. Axel stands back, observing the situation. Raven finishes and pulls Rhodes to her feet, hooking her arms in a Full Nelson position. She urges Axel to take advantage~
Smith: Hellraven is definitely all in on this makeshift team
Bob: She’s also not bad to look at.
Hood: She’d better be careful…I don’t know Axel very well but I don’t think he’s the kinda guy you want to leave your credit card lying around
Smith: Is Hellraven old enough to have a credit card?
Bob: She’d better be!
~Axel accepts the invite…he throws a few more devastating chops. He tells Raven to let Rhodes go. She does. Axel kicks Rhodes in the gut and hooks her for a powerbomb. He lifts her up and turns around, acting like he’s going to powerbomb her over the top rope. Raven goes after JAM G, assuming the act is finished. Axel turns back around…Raven is bent over at the waist, grabbing at JAM G’s mask. Axel throws Rhodes down, onto Raven’s back with a powerbomb!! Raven is squashed on top of JAM G. Rhodes remains on top of Raven…Axel stands over them, looking down with a satisfied expression. The crowd boos heavily~
Smith: I knew it! I knew he’d turn on her!
Hood: Of course he did…he’s here to win. Hellraven should have known that
Smith: She’s so young and inexperienced…it certainly cost her there.
Bob: Can we stop talking about how young she is?
~Axel kicks the body of Rhodes off of Raven. He pulls Raven up by her blonde hair and tosses her through the ropes, to the outside. That leaves Axel alone with Rhodes and JAM G. He steps onto JAM G’s body, walking over it toward Rhodes. He pulls Rhodes up. Rebel surprises him with a forearm uppercut! Axel staggers…she hits him again and again…he stumbles into a corner. Rebel sprints forward…Axel darts out of the way. Rebel hits the corner hard. She stumbles backward…Axel spins her around, arrogantly and throws a taunting slap into her face! Rebel’s eyes light up…she spins around and drills Axel with a RIGHT CROSS!! This really knocks Axel off his base. His legs bend and become wobbly~
Smith: Uh oh
Hood: He just pissed her off
Bob: Better to be pissed off than pissed…
Smith: Moving along!
~Rebel whips Axel into the ropes. She’s in position for Shot in the Dark! Axel hits the ropes. HellRaven appears on the apron! She pulls down on the top rope and Axel flips over, landing on the outside. While falling out, he grabs a handful of Raven’s hair, taking her down as well. This just leaves Rhodes in the ring with JAM G, who is finally on his feet, dazed. Rebel looks at him, shrugs and drops him with Shot in the Dark!!! The crowd pops. Rebel goes for the pin…Uber slides in and makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…“THE REBEL” MELINDA RHODES!!!!!
Bob: Now THAT was a match!
Smith: What a win for Melinda Rhodes! After two gut wrenching loses to Bob Grenier she picks up the biggest win of her OCW career, ironically, on Bob Grenier’s Massacre
Hood: Strange shit, for sure
Smith: Have to give it to Hellraven and Axel Veiga. They both looked tremendous tonight…could have gone to either of them as well.
Hood: For sure…fucking Hellraven…that’s one chick I wouldn’t wanna piss off. Veiga…well he’s the fuckin man as far as I’m concerned.
Smith: Big fan?
Hood: You know it. Fucking guy is going to win a lot of matches here…he’s just gotta get used to the OCW style…it’s a very unique style.
Smith: Indeed it is…
~Bob gets up from the announce table and heads to the ring. He’s got a giant sack of cash~
Smith: Interesting way to carry the money
Hood: You’d think he’d at least use a briefcase…something with a lock
Smith: Ah well…I doubt anybody is taking that away from Melinda
~Bob hands the cash to Melinda, along with the Oh Shit Contract. Melinda looks at Bob. It’s obvious these two aren’t going to be inviting each other to their next Christmas party. However, Melinda is exhausted and in a pretty decent mood…she’s had a great night. Bob, too, has had a successful evening. So, Melinda takes her winnings and exits the ring. Bob is about to speak when he notices something outside the ring. It’s Raven and Axel brawling~
Bob Grenier: Looks like we’ve got some unfinished business between these two!
~The crowd chants “FIGHT! FIGHT!” as the two brawl up the ramp way and backstage. Bob remains in the ring, smiling. JAM G’s body is still on the mat. He looks down at it, shrugs and speaks~
Bob Grenier: I’m just saying…if I had the power to book another show, we’d be getting Hellraven against Axel Veiga for a shot at the Craze Title. But, that’s just me. Hopefully those two can be separated before they kill each other backstage. Anyway…
~Bob pauses for a moment. He looks serious. It seems to be hitting him that this hightly anticipated evening has finally reached its end. He scratches his head and looks around. The crowd chants “THANK YOU BOB!” He nods along. He finds composure and jumps back into what he was going to say moments earlier~
Bob: Thank you for that. I hope you've all had a great time on BOB GRENIER MASSACRE.
~The crowd chants it with him.~
Bob: I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, Choad Breath. You may be the Commissioner of Massacre, But this is my show, It always has been. You're a bitch dude, and when I'm through with you I may just come for your job. Asshat.
~Grenier drops the mic. All of a sudden The Lockwood Party emerge from the crowd. They hop the railing and climb into the ring. Bob immediately goes in for a hug as they are all great friends. Jack hugs Bob and steps back. Tom goes in for a hug himself but instead he takes Greniers glasses off and tosses them into the crowd.~
Bob: Tom.. Wha..
~He is interrupted mid sentence by a straight punch to the mouth! Bob drops and Tom mutters “It's just business, Buffett mam..”... before nailing him with elbows to the temple. Bleeding from the out mouth and dazed, Tom picks up Bob and tosses him to a reluctant Jack. Bob is at Jacks knees when Tom kicks him in the back of the head. ~
Tom: Bro! Do it! We got a job to do!
~Tom picks up Bob and holds him for Jack who suddenly snaps, He hits the far top rope. Tom holds Bob across his knee and Jack comes off the top with a leg drop. Tom and Jack then drag Bob out of the ring and bring him about half way down the aisle.~
~Zybala comes out with the enchiladas and coke he was sent for earlier.. He Runs down the aisle throws the food at Grenier and immediately super kicks him. Zybala tells The Lockwoods to leave while handing them a sizeable envelope of cash. Battered, Bob sits with his back against the guardrail. Still physically hurt and shocked by the actions of his friends and Mike, He just puts his head down.~
Zybala: Look at me! You think this shit is so easy Grenier? You think one night while the douchebag Welsh is gone on vacation is easy? I have great ideas, but it's difficult to see if they will work when the guy above you thinks any idea that's not his isn't worth shit! If he was here tonight, Aunt Ruth wouldn't even have stepped foot in that ring. Same thing with Jam G, and forget Uber as ref. But no, when you have free reign, you think this is easy street.
So how about this? You think this job is easy, how about I give you a shot at it! At Lost At Sea it's going to be Mike Zybala versus Bob Grenier and the winner is going to be the OCW commissioner!!
~Grenier looks up and Zybala throws a super kick but holds back, Grenier flinches and he laughs. Zybala walks backwards up the aisle as The Lockwood Party makes their way back down. Zybala points them in Bob’s direction and hands them another envelope. The Lockwoods make their way over to Grenier, They grab him as the show goes off the air.~