OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, July 16th 2018
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida

~It’s mid-July…another Monday. Fourth of July is behind you…Labor day feels so far away. Football doesn’t start for another fifty fucking days – or something like that. Sure, there’s MLB but, I mean, c’mon…162 games? It’s like watching an Iron man match…only gets interesting at the very end. The World Cup is over…but you were pretty much dead inside after Croatia beat Russia. So who cares, right? Wimbledon finished but, again, it’s Tennis and Federer wasn’t even in the finals. My gosh…what does a person have to live for currently? It’s a desperate state of affairs. Peering into the fridge you spot week old lunch meat, condiments, half a gallon of milk and an opened bottle of wine. The wine grabs your attention. You pull it out of the fridge and examine the liquid…wow, looks like barely a sip of liquor has been removed. How long has this bottle been in the fridge? Is it still good? Why are we just now noticing it? And, moreover, why the hell isn’t there a cork wedged inside the top to keep whatever freshness may have remained from floating elsewhere. You take a whiff…yikes, that doesn’t smell good. I mean, it doesn’t smell toxic…but it doesn’t smell like wine a sober, coherent person would drink. So, you place it back in the fridge and reach for the milk. “Why the fuck is MILK the only drinkable option in here?” You don’t even have any cereal. Oh well…you head toward the couch…it’s just about that time…OCW Massacre time! That sweet, titillating OCW logo flashes…followed by the downright Orgasmic Massacre logo. We are then shown highlights from the previous week. All is well until a highlight of Uber Man pinning Lukas Emery airs. Suddenly, MILK isn’t enough. We stand and rush for the fridge, tossing the milk back inside. We grab the bottle of wine and say “fuck it” throwing back a hearty sip. It isn’t great, but it won’t kill us. We hear the OCW fans going wild…that means the live feed has started. Hurrying back, we leap onto the couch, take another sip of wine and settle in for what should be a wild, unpredictable, bumpy ride….IT’S MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE TIME~

Smith: Hello again and welcome to another edition of Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me as always is Hood! And tonight we have…

Hood: HEY! Would you slow down for one fucking second and let me say hello?

Smith: Oh, I’m sorry

Hood: …

Smith: Go ahead

Hood: Nope, too late….the moment, it has passed

Smith: Whatever…as I was saying! Tonight we have the debut of a famous name…and three marquee matches…it is truly a stacked card.

Hood: Savage, Roach, Carrington…those are my picks

Smith: What about Meyhu and Grenier?

Hood: When I flipped my coin for that one it landed on its side…no lie

Smith: That is such a lie. Don’t listen to him folks, coins don’t land on their sides. But…yes…we have several famous names competing tonight. It starts with the debut of Tony Savage

Hood: I did some research on this guy and found out that unlike that Lance Savage guy…Tony Savage has both his eyes. A HUGE improvement

Smith: Irrelevant, yet factual. It is a huge acquisition for the company…management is very eager to see what Tony Savage does in his debut. Much like Kestrel and Melinda Brooks…this is an individual who could rise the ranks rather quickly if management is impressed with his work ethic.

Hood: I’m down like a clown…when a clown is getting down

Smith: That exciting debut is followed up with an exciting match up between Julliet Brooks and Bradley Carrington.

Hood: Let’s go Carrington!

Smith: After that we will see The OCW Champion step into the ring for the first time since The Greatest Show on Earth to take on former OCW Champion, Bob Grenier in a Non-Title Match

Hood: Like I said…the coin landed on its side

Smith: And, in our main event…former OCW Champion Alice Knight makes her in ring return for revenge against her OCW nemesis, Roach. It should be wild one

Hood: Tonight, after four years…Roach gets his revenge for that joke of a match at Black Out 2. Good night Alice…umm, Knight

Smith: Both competitors seek revenge…it’s NO DQ, Falls Count Anywhere and it’s tonight’s main event…folks, we’re only two weeks away from Lost at Sea…expect the action to be fast and furious…expect feuds to heat up…expect a wild night...is what I’m saying

Hood: I got a pack of magnums in my pocket, just in case

Smith: Gross and a likely overestimation on your end…regardless…let’s get the night underway!

~Cut to a close up shot of Who'Re holding a microphone backstage~

Who'Re: Ladies and gentlemen with me at this time is a lady set to get her revenge tonight against her nemesis, the man known only as Roach. Alice Knight.

~The camera zooms out to reveal Alice cracking her knuckles and neck in the opposite direction talking to herself~

Alice: "Rock... ROCK LOBSTER!!"

Who'Re: Nice, Alice! I love the B52s too! Great song. Love it!

Alice: B-Fifty-What now? Song? What do you mean?

Who'Re: You were just saying "Rock Lobster" like their song... right?

Alice: Oh. That No No No. I just sometimes say random words and things together at the same time. Like this Hamburger Hat! Crab Furniture! Monkey Cake! ... Ooooooh... ROCK LOBSTER!!!

Who're: Well... um... okay. It's so great to have you back in OCW. I mean, it's like a breath of fresh air to have you roaming around this place. Hugging everybody. Eating all the catering food. Making funny puns to everything.

Alice: PUNNY PUNS you say????!?!

Who're: Yes... like that. I mean it's not AT THE LEAST BIT TIRESOME! Or at least I was told to say that...

Alice: Yeah it's great to be back. Being a Hall of Famer now I can't be doing stupid things anymore. Like trying to hug a big ol' bees nest outside the dumpster by Red Lobster. They don't hug back with their cute little leggy legs, but with their big ol' stingers. I was in the hospital for a week. But that was last month, and this is THIS month. The month of... Jah-Jew-Jah...eh...

Who'Re: July?

Alice: JULY! SAID IT AT THE SAME TIME, MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BEFORE YOU! Yep it's awesome to be here on the night I take on that mean old brute feller, Roach. Him and I. We are nothing like peas and carrots. We don't go together. Honestly we're like the exact opposite of peas and carrots... rice and bologna.

Who'Re: But you haven't wrestled in months. Are you sure you are ready for this brute of a man? No DQ. Hardcore rules. Roach can be seriously dangerous in these kinds of matches.

Alice: I'll give you a match, your butt and my face. No... wait... it's my butt... and your butt... Forget it. But am I ready? Well I'll answer your question with a question of my own... does the inside of a balloon smell like mustard?

Who'Re: What? I don't have the slightest...

Alice: YOU KNOW IT DOES! I can be pretty damn dangerous in these types of matches also. Again it was me and my loyal army of ants to who beat him last time at OCW Black Out 2. So bet on it. I got this. My only weakness is that damn Hood.

Who'Re: Yes, what about Hood? Any chance he will get involved?

Alice: Does balloon insides reek of mustard stench? Yep! It most certainly disgustingly does. He will try something, but when he does. I will take him down too. And same goes for his big lackey Roach. Tonight is the HASHTAG HOOT HOOT HOOT HASHTAG OWL IS NIGHT ' s return. This is so amazing, I'm back! I got to hug Smith and Belvedere. Eat ALL of the summer sausage at catering before Tony The Spider got there. Get to destroy Roach in front of all my OWLies in the crowd. Who'Re... let's hug it out? Sure I may catch something from you, but heck, you might catch something from me... tit-for-tat!

Who're: Ehhh, okay?

~Alice shouts " HUUUUUUU-UG" as she spreads her arms wide and gives Who're a big hug. Alice then looks off screen and smiles~

Alice: Looks like that garbage bag full of rat traps wants a BIG hug too... see ya Who! Come here little guys....

~Alice runs off screen as Who'Re looks on in fear as the sounds of snapping rat traps can be heard between Alice's screams and laughter. We cut back to ringside~

Hood: What the fuck WAS that

Smith: Ah, she's great...isn't she great? I'm just OVER THE MOON that she's back

Hood: I keep advising people to mute their fucking TVs whenever she starts talking...hope you guys are listening!

Smith: RUDE...Alice and Roach will meet later tonight in the grudge match to end all grudge matches! But, first...we head down to ringside for a very exciting debut. It's Tony Savage!

Hood: Fuck yea!

Tony Savage (0-0) vs. ‘Detective’ Jack Puffer (0-3)

~We cut to a shot of the ring. Belvedere appears frustrated. Puffer is marching around the ring with a look on his face that says he’s “found something.” Belvedere folds his arms and eyes Puffer, angrily. Puffer reaches into his back pocket, spins around (for effect) and extends the microphone! Unfortunately, it slips out of his hands and smacks Belvedere in the chest creating this loud screeching noise. The audience covers their ears while yelling. Belvedere, calmly picks up the mic. Puffer apologize profusely…Belvedere just motions for The Good Detective to head for his corner, which he does. Belvedere clears his throat…the fans uncover their ears and relax as a TRUE professional is now wielding the microphone~

Belvedere: Jack Puffer, ladies and gentlemen…and, now…his opponent…

~The crowd rises to their feet. They stare at the entrance way. Each person is eager to witness the debut of Tony Savage. The lights go low, "Legend Has It" by Run the Jewels bumps over the speakers, and out comes America's Favorite Legal Mass Murderer. He strolls down to the ring, eating a Slim Jim and grabbing his dick, looking at the fans like they were fecal matter on his sneakers. He even stops and points out to a full retard all the typos on their sign before they get a face full of meat by-product. Then he gets in the ring, cussing at the ref to back off and not photobomb his pre-fight ring time. Then he cracks his knuckles and gets ready....~

Belvedere: From Atlanta, Georgia…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 237lbs…Tony Savage!!!

~The crowd is still buzzing for the debut…however, given his attitude, a portion are already turning on the newcomer~

Smith: I’ve not yet had the pleasure of watching Mr. Savage compete…but I’ve heard his name mentioned in the highest regard. His attitude, however, leaves something to be desired

Hood: Any man who dines on a Slim Jim in public is TOP NOTCH in my opinion

Smith: Ugh…sorry excuse for a meaty snack

Hood: People who trash slim jims should be sent to prison

~Belvedere exits the ring. The bell sounds. Puffer approaches Tony Savage and extends his hand. He requests that they engage in a gentlemanly affair – whatever that means. Savage looks down at Puffer’s hand with a puzzled expression. Puffer looks out to the crowd with his hand extended. The crowd yells at Puffer “PUT YOUR HAND DOWN YOU IDIOT!” Puffer shrugs them off as overly concerned citizens~

Smith: This isn’t going to end well for The Good Detective

Hood: I think the gum is attached to his brain rather than his shoe

Smith: There’s definitely something wrong with the guy, I’ll give you that

~Savage reaches out for Puffer’s hand. Puffer looks around with a “See, I told you so!” look. Savage grabs Puffer’s arm and whips him into the ropes! A very surprised Puffer takes off…he this the ropes, bounces off and receives a HEART PUNCH! He stumbles around, holding his chest. He falls to his knees…then onto his back. The crowd BOOS Savage. He stands in the ring…his arms outstretched as if asking “What did you expect?”~

Smith: RIGHT IN THE HEART!

Hood: Fucked Puffer up!

Smith: Tony calls that One Hitter Quitter

~Savage stands over Puffer. He bends at the waist and paint brushes Puffer’s face with his right hand a few times in arrogant fashion. The booing of the fans increases in volume. Savage smiles~

Smith: Well…if he prefers to be loathed…he’s accomplishing his mission

Hood: Something about this guy…I think he’s going to be a future star

Smith: Well he’s off to a good start

~Finally, Savage realizes he can avoid breaking a sweat if he ends things. So, he stands and places his foot on Puffer’s chest. The crowd continues to boo. He uses his hands, encouraging them to boo louder. Scruff drops to his knees and he makes the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…TONY SAVAGE!!!!!

Smith: Absolute domination.

Hood: Yep, I think he may have killed Puffer

~Medics rush to the ring to check on Puffer. Savage throws a few of them around for fun. The fans continue to boo. Savage, having had his fun, decides to exit the ring. He hops through the ropes and lands on his feet on the outside. The Knife Man…OCW’s medic SLASH mechanic sprints past him. Savage looks at the guy like “What the fuck is that?” while walking backwards up the ramp. The fans chant “ASSHOLE!” at Tony as they watch Jack Puffer being looked at~

Smith: That heart punch really, really did a number on Puffer. In all seriousness, I hope he’s okay

Hood: Yea and, well, if he isn’t, no big loss

Smith: What a callous thing to say!

Hood: Seriously, would we miss the guy? He tries to shake hands with his opponents…he couldn’t find Waldo if Waldo were the only guy standing inside a public bathroom WITHOUT stalls

Smith: He’s still a human being!

~Savage reaches the top of the ramp. A team of OCW personnel rush past him with a stretcher. Savage grabs the stretcher, rips it from their hands and he hurls it off the stage. The personnel team looks at him like he’s a dick. He raises his fist – they all scatter. The fans begin to throw stuff at Savage. He takes a mocking bow and exits through the curtain~

Smith: I think he’s made his point…what a jerk

Hood: He’ll be OCW Champion by the end of the summer

Smith: I think Matt Meyhu and several others might have something to say about that

Hood: Yea and they’ll get their fucking hearts punched for it!

~A second stretcher appears…it’s rushed to the ring as The Knife Man instructs a group of nameless medics to carefully place Puffer on the stretcher and strap him down~

Smith: Well folks, let’s hope Jack Puffer is okay

Hood: Aka not dead

Smith: Yes, I certainly hope that man is not dead. IN the meantime, the show must move on. Impressive debut by Savage…despite his deplorable behavior. It will be interesting to see where he goes from here

Hood: I’d put him…

Smith: YES! Yes…we all know you’d put him in the main event…no need to further push that narrative, Hood

Hood: I’m just saying…why fuck around with these highly talented wrestlers? If they’re that good…give them the spot they deserve

Smith: He’s got to earn it, Hood. If he’s that good, then he will

~We cut backstage where we find Treat Cassidy. He’s busy writing a check to a manufacturer of Go Karts, apologizing for the extensive damage accrued one week earlier~

Treat Cassidy: And, again, my sincerest apologies. I hope this amount takes care of...most of that damage.

~Treat turns around, heading back into his personalized dressing room. ‘The Confederate Icon’ Chad Vargas is seated on a leather couch. The crowd boos upon seeing the #1 Contender. He’s got an ice chest full of Budweiser set between his feet. He finishes off the can in his hand, crushes it and tosses the remaining aluminum container against a wall. Treat is busy notating the check amount into his ledger. Vargas grabs another Budweiser and cracks it open, taking a generous gulp~

Treat Cassidy: Amazing how expensive this job gets when Iggy is around

~Chad finishes another gulp of beer~

Chad Vargas: I told you not to tell him where we were. Fucking guy is crazy.

Treat Cassidy: And resourceful. Last time I assume he’s too inebriated to find us. Those poor Go Karts...and those children. Their entire day ruined.

Chad Vargas: Eh, fuck em.

~Chad releases a large belch. He crushes the Budweiser can and tosses it at a different wall than the first. He stands up~

Chad Vargas: Well, I gotta take a piss. I’ll be back.

~Treat nods, closing his checkbook and picking up Chad’s random, crushed beer cans. We follow Vargas. He exits the locker room and rounds the corner. We overhear him complaining~

Chad Vargas: No personalized bathroom. Fucking Treat...we should have our own personalized bathroom. I bet Meyhu has his.

~Chad rounds another corner. He finally spots the nearest bathroom~

Chad Vargas: About fucking time.

~Chad reaches the door. He seizes the handle and starts to pull back, but the door flies open. Someone on the other end is exiting. The combination of pull/push sends the door into Chad’s face with a smack. Chad stumbles back, reaching for his face, stunned. On the other end we see The Marvel, Matt Meyhu! The crowd cheers...not because they like the guy...but because of the confrontation. Meyhu recognizes Chad before he can recognize Meyhu. He reaches out and grabs Vargas~

Chad Vargas: What the fuck…

~Meyhu hooks Vargas and drops him with Ego Trip!! The crowd inside the arena pops. Meyhu gets to his feet...he looks down at Vargas and places his boot on Chad’s chest. He looks into the camera and holds up one finger, then two, followed by three. The crowd counts along~

Matt Meyhu: 1...2...3…

~He removes his foot from Chad’s chest and straightens out his shirt. He checks his pants to ensure he’s in solid shape. Once he’s all clear, he turns around and yells down a backstage hallway~

Matt Meyhu: EZRA! I told you we need to demand a personalized restroom! I nearly got myself killed out here! This is no way to treat the champion!

~We cut back to the announce team~

Smith: The Ego Trip! Arguably the greatest finisher in OCW history

Hood: Second only to The Stroke

Smith: Debatable, for sure…both are great moves…both have secured their owner an OCW Title victory.

Hood: Yes but I think a stroke is more dangerous

Smith: Okay, fine, you win…regardless…Meyhu and Vargas will be forced to square off in two weeks at Lost at Sea for the OCW Championship. One man will hit his finisher and claim OCW’s top prize. It’s setting up to be one of the greatest matches in company history

Hood: Shit yea!

~A break in between the action is livened up when a young, slim blonde woman gets up off her seat and begins to make her way towards the ringside area. As she progresses down the steps and gets ever closer to the squared circle, the camera zooms in on her, revealing her to be, not a random and particularly daring fan, but OCW's latest signing – the youngster known only as Hellraven.~

Smith: What the...? Who the heck...?

Hood: That's that chick...whatsername...Darkcrow or something...

~Ringside security, who had gathered to try and prevent the ringside invasion, realise this as well, and open a path for the blonde as she vaults over the barrier. Raven, however, barely spares a glance in their direction, instead approaching a nearby ring technician to ask for a microphone. Caught by surprise, the young man takes a moment to react, but eventually nods, leaning over to the nearby announce table to fulfill his fellow teen's request. Raven offers him a nod as he hands her the microphone, but quickly turns away from him, hoisting herself up onto the apron before crossing the middle rope into the ring~

Smith: Looks like she's got something to say...

Hood: Chicks always have something to say!

~As OCW's lead announcer chooses – perhaps wisely – to ignore his partner's sexism, the company's newest signing surprises fans and commentators alike by not immediately addressing the crowd. Instead, she slowly but purposefully makes her way across the canvas, stopping only when she has reached the furthest turnbuckle. Once there, she lets herself slowly slip down to a seated position, her back slumped against the ring post and her long blond hair almost entirely obscuring her face. Only then does she finally speak~

Hellraven: So...this is how it feels.

~The youth pauses a moment, for effect, but promptly continues~

Hellraven: This is how it feels to be in the same spot as your role model. Your idol. The person who made you want to do this shit in the first place.

~Another pause, then~

Hellraven: See, it was right here...in this ring...that my mentor became OCW Ascension Champion. It was right here in this ring that my mentor showed up all the haters. All the people who said she was too old. Too rusty. Too past it. Right here in this ring, she looked them all in the eye...flipped them the bird...and proved she still had it.

And now...it's my turn.

~A close-up on the youth reveals a smirk, just barely visible beneath the clump of hair as Raven continues~

Hellraven: Oh, you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody!

~For the briefest of moments, the teen's smirk visibly intensifies, before she shifts to a more serious, slightly confrontational demeanor~

Hellraven: That's right, motherfuckers. The rumours were true. The Terror from Tokyo has descended on OCW. I'm here, I'm pumped, and I'm ready to rock and roll. And I don't care who you throw at me. Big guys, small guys, girls, little kids, otherkin, whatever. As long as I get to kick some ass, I'm happy. And make no mistake...I will get to kick some ass. And nobody better try and stop me...you got that, Mom?!

~For the first time since sitting down, the youth removes the hair from her face, revealing green eyes which flash in a glare. Just as soon as it appeared, however, the flash of emotion is gone, as Raven once again lets her blonde locks cover her face and falls silent for a moment. When, at length, she speaks up once more, it is to say one simple phrase~

Hellraven: Quoth the Raven... Shit's about to go down.

~With that, and with as little fanfare as she had on her way down, OCW's latest signee slides underneath the top rope and onto the floor, pulling herself to her feet in the process. A moment later, the young ring technician once again has the microphone in his hand, as the blonde leaps the barricade and makes her way back to her seat, seemingly intent on enjoying the rest of the show~

Smith: Hellraven is here, Hood! And, just like her idol...her mother, she's all business

Hood: Hmm, her idol was Ascension champion. Hold on, give me time, I'll figure it out

Smith: Seriously?

Hood: I told you I'll get it, stop being such a dick!

Smith: There have only been TWO female Ascension champions

Hood: Enough with the hints! I told you, I've got this!

Smith: And one of them was Annie Alvarez who, I'm guessing, will never have children

Hood: WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE CLUES

Smith: Okay, while my colleague continues to embarrass himself...let's go backstage before our next match takes place

~The cameras cut backstage to a concession stand. There is a long line that appears to be held up by Muffles the Bunny.~

Muffles: “What about carrot juice?”

Employee: “No Muffles we don’t have carrot juice.”

Muffles: “Okay, well how about a salad.”

~The employee sighs~

Employee: “No Muffles, we don’t have salad this week either.”

Muffles: “Okay, what about just lettuce.”

~The man behind Muffles lets out a loud sigh~

Man: “Come on man, we’ve been here for like 15 minutes.”

~Muffles looks offended~

Muffles: “It’s not my fault this concession stand isn’t bunny friendly.”

~He looks up at the employee questioningly. The employee just shrugs~

Muffles: “No lettuce either then.”

~Muffles sighs and is about to exit the line. The crowd looks on excitedly, happy to finally move up in line. All of the sudden his face lights up in triumph~

Muffles: “I know what I want!”

~Some of the less patient in the crowd cheer~

Muffles: “I want a hot dog.”

Employee: “We do have that!”

Muffles: “Great! So I want a hotdog but hold the hotdog and the bun and I want double the relish, oh and double the sauerkraut too.”

~The employee looks back in mild disgust as Muffles looks on excitedly. Finally a shout comes from the back of the line. The camera pulls back, revealing a very upset looking Josie Barnes~

Josie: “Seriously man, all of that for that.”

~Muffles looks highly offended~

Josie: “Listen I’ve had a horrible week. All I want is a fucking hotdog and I can’t even get that cause Muffles can’t make up his mind.”

~She starts to head up to the line like she’s going to confront Muffles as Ed Houston walks by~

Houston: “Hey man, leave Muffles alone. He just wants to eat like the rest of us.”

~Josie rolls her eyes~

Josie: “Oh god, here comes Ed Houston to save the day.”

~Houston looks on~

Houston: “Josie man, I’m sorry Lukas left and all that stuff but maybe if you would have accepted my invitation to the watch party things would have ended differently. Great work out there by the way Muffles. I loved that.”

~Both Josie and Muffles look upset~

Muffles: “I don’t need you to fight my battles, Ed. As I’ve shown before I can handle Josie in the ring.”

~Josie looks like she’s about to hit Muffles and then turns on a dime~

Josie: “Two more weeks you two. I’m going to walk out of Lost at Sea with that belt just you wait and see.”

~She walks away, desperate to find a shorter concession stand line. Muffles stares intensely back at Ed until he is forced to break eye contact by the employee handing Muffles a hotdog holder stuffed to the brim with relish and sauerkraut. The camera zooms into the horrible looking mess as the camera cuts away~

Smith: That is a match I'm looking forward to...a triple threat match for the OCW Craze championship

Hood: Ed should know better than to engage in a staring contest with a man dressed as a bunny. Those eyes don't blink, bro

Smith: Good observation...well folks, up next we've got one of our THREE marquee matches this evening as The Professor...a man who has tormented TIO all year...is set to make his 2018 in ring debut against the always happy, the fan favorite, The Pride of New Mexico - Julliet Brooks

Hood: Carrington is such a badass...he made TIO quit before ever stepping into the ring

Smith: Well that's your opinion. Regardless...Carrington, the 2017 Newcomer of the Year, will have an opportunity to look strong heading into his match at Lost at Sea. The question I have...will he show any ring rust?

Hood: Nah, he's good

Smith: It's been awhile...if you step into an OCW ring against a veteran like Brooks with ring rust...you could get smacked in the mouth.

Hood: Nope, not gonna happen

Smith: Let's head down to ringside to find out!

Singles Match
“The Professor” Bradley Carrington (10-3) vs. Julliet Brooks (6-7)

~We cut to the ring where Belvedere is holding the mic. The fans are excited, ready for the next match. Belvedere clears his throat…the crowd goes wild~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our next match this evening…it is a singles match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…

~"Down" by Otep hits and out walks Julliet Brooks onto the stage to a chorus of cheers from the audience, simply smiling from ear to ear, and continued to walk down the ramp. Once there she claps some fans hands at ringside then runs and slides underneath the ropes, soaking up the positive reaction. After she leans against the ropes and looks toward the entrance way, showing no intimidation to her upcoming opponent~

Belvedere: From Albuquerque, New Mexico…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…she is The Pride of New Mexico…she is…Julliet Brooks!!!

~Brooks smiles at Belvedere before waving at some rabid Julliet fans near ringside. She returns her focus on the match, limbering up~

Belvedere: And, her opponent…

~Bradley Carrington steps onto the stage, wearing a grey t shirt that says "Carrington" in red letters on it, the 'C' has a graduate cap over it. He is reading a copy of his book: "Being the Best at Everything, the Bradley Carrington Story". He pauses, as if he is moved by his own writing, before closing the book and walking towards the ring. As he approaches the ring, he picks a fan in the front row, signs the book, and hands it to them. He jumps onto the ring apron, climbs in between the ropes, and poses for photos from his adoring fan (his wife Autumn). He removes his t shirt~

Belvedere: From Ithaca, New York…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs…he is the OCW Newcomer of 2017…he is making his first in ring appearance of 2018…he is ‘The Professor’ Bradley Carrington!

~Carrington asks Autumn to hand something over. She reaches into her pocket to reveal a picture of TIO. The crowd starts to boo. Belvedere shakes his head, exiting the ring. Carrington asks for a CORNELL RED sharpie. Autumn hands it over. He draws a circle around TIO’s head. He pauses, for dramatic effect before drawing a line through the circle, diagonally. The crowd BOOOOS. Carrington nods with approval, handing the picture over to Autumn~

Smith: The arrogance of this man…acting as though he’s the man who retired The Incredible One

Hood: Well, he did…he is the RETIRER OF TIO!

Smith: No, he is not…TIO retired for personal reasons

Hood: Personal reasons aka I don’t want to lose to Carrington

Smith: Be quiet!

~The bell rings. Carrington, arrogant as always, turns around, ready for the match to begin – or, well, that’s what he thought anyway. The minute he turns around he’s taken to the mat with a Lou Thesz Press by Julliet! The crowd goes wild! Brooks unleashes a flurry of lefts and rights while in the mount position. Scruff slides in, asking Carrington if he wants to give it up. Carrington does his best to cover up. Brooks tries to transition into am arm bar…she gets it! She leans back, applying tremendous pressure. The crowd is chanting “YES! YES!” Carrington writhes around, consumed by pain~

Smith: This could be over right here!

Hood: She cheated! She fucking cheated! Those damn New Mexicans!

Smith: What are you talking about?

Hood: We should build a wall around New Mexico…BUILD THAT WALL!

~Carrington manages to wiggle his way to the ropes. Scruff orders Julliet to break. She finally does. Carrington rolls out of the ring. Autumn rushes toward him, rubbing his arm. She asks if it’s okay. He nods. Brooks remains in the ring, yelling at The Professor to get back inside~

Smith: Rough start for Carrington. I’m afraid he’s got quite a bit of ring rust

Hood: He’ll be fine. Once he gets back in there he’s gonna make short work of The Pride of New Jersey

Smith: IT’S NEW MEXICO

~Carrington works his arm around. He rotates it back and forth and finally tells Autumn. “Alright, I’m good. I’m good.” Bradley turns around and steps up onto the apron. He faces the crowd and listens to their jeers. He taunts them…he brags about how dumb they are. He turns around and is met with a Shining Wizard from Brooks!! He falls to his knees, on the apron…his arms hang over the middle rope~

Smith: The Professor got distracted!

Hood: Stupid, idiotic fans! Don’t disrupt the thought process of a genius

Smith: He’s really, really not into it tonight. His mind seems elsewhere

~Brooks grabs Carrington by the head and pulls him into the ring…his legs remain propped up along the middle rope. She swiftly drops him with a DDT!! Carrington’s head SLAMS into the mat! Brooks rolls him onto his back and points toward the nearest corner~

Smith: No

Hood: Yea, right…no way this one is over

Smith: I mean…it can’t be

~Brooks reaches the top rope. Autumn looks up…she turns toward Carrington, trying to get him to move. Julliet leaps off the top rope with Amaterasu….she connects! The crowd jumps to their feet…part excited, part stunned. Scruff slides in to make the count~

1!

2!

3!!!

~The crowd explodes! A “BROOKS!” chant fills the arena. Julliet pops to her feet, extremely happy. Scruff raises her arm~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…JULLIET BROOKS!!!!!

Smith: I can’t believe it! This is SHOCKING

Hood: Fuck this

Smith: Carrington was obviously totally unprepared for tonight…a very strange trait when dealing with a Professor

Hood: Not really…have you MET most professors? They aren’t the most organized people. They can just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and…

Smith: Okay…I get it…but still. You have to wonder if TIO’s abrupt departure might have caused some of this

Hood: Who knows…but Carrington is a beast. Dude has got to get his shit right

Smith: Indeed…however, we cannot take away from Julliet…she needed a big win and she got one!

~Autumn reaches into the ring and helps Bradley roll out. She asks him if he’s okay. Carrington starts to come to and tries to get back into the ring. Brooks throws a kick at him. Autumn yanks Bradley off the apron, onto his feet. She suggests they head backstage, to regroup~

Smith: A stunner for sure…what will Welsh do about this? Carrington is setup for a big match at Lost at Sea

Hood: You can’t quit on a guy due to a fluke loss. Listen…he’ll be better for Lost at Sea. No doubt

Smith: I guess we’ll have to wait and see what our GM decides...speaking of decisions...let's cut to some disturbing footage from earlier this evening which has left our GM Marcus Welsh with a very complex decision to make

~The cameras cut backstage, as Lukas Emery is arriving to the arena. As he's getting out of the car, we see Amelia Emery approach him~

Amelia: What in the bloody hell are you doing here?

Lukas Emery: Last time I checked, I work here.

Amelia: I mean the fuckery you've pulled this past week.

Lukas: Fuckery?

Amelia: You run off and come back veat to hell and bleeding with no explanation freaking me and Josie the hell out. Then you completely lose your mind and run away, leaving Josie by herself wonsering what the hell is going on, so she came to stay with me and Trin. And then...allllll the shite on Twitter...calling yourself the Disturbed One...acting like a total dick...

~Lukas turns around and looks at Amelia~

Lukas: You have no idea what's going on.

Amelia: Oh, I don't? Then tell me. Josie is so confused and hurt she couldn't even come see you. So, what the hell?

~Before Lukas can answer, a fan yells out at the two from down the way~

Fan: Ha Lukas Emery! Hows it feel to lose to Uber Man? Hows it feel to be a loser?

Lukas: Fuvkin' wanker...

Amelia: Just forget the guy.

Lukas: Nope...

~Lukas starts walking towards the fan~

Lukas: You're gonna regret that...

Fan: Like you regretted challenging Uber Man?

~Without saying anything, Lukas blasts the fan with a right hand. He continues the attack with more right hand shots. The fan is screaming as Lukas grabs him and sends him into the wall with a thud. Now Amelia is screaming for Lukas to stop, but Lukas picks the fan up and plants him with the Light of Emery! Finally, security rushes in. They manage to back Lukas away from the fan, as emergency personnel rush in to check on the fan. We also see Marcus Welsh come into the scene~

Welsh: Get out of here! You're done!

Lukas: Oh, you gonna fire me?

Welsh: After the bullshit you just pulled? What do you expect?

Lukas: Whatever.

~Lukas turns around and gets back in his car. He starts it up and drives off, as we look back at Amelia, who has a confused look on her face and tears in her eyes~

Amelia: Welsh, please don't fire him. I don't know what's going on with him, but please don't fire him.

Welsh: He just assaulted a fan! We both know that's a lawsuit waiting to happen! He'll be lucky if the guy doesn't press charges!

~Welsh walks off, as Amelia breaks down into tears. We cut back to ringside~

~The crowd is buzzing about what’s to come. Meyhu/Grenier and Alice/Roach – my goodness those are two marquee matches! Anyway…it’s a vibrant, excited crowd. “HERO” by Nickelback hits! The crowd reacts! Most cheer…a few have a reaction which says “OH NO NOT THIS FUCKING GUY”. Uber appears from behind the curtain with his green outfit, green mask and…you guessed it…green cape! He looks very excited. He rushes down the ramp and tries to slide into the ring. Unfortunately, he doesn’t clear enough air for an effective slide…instead, his hip jams into the edge of the apron. He winces, grabbing the area of impact and limps toward the ring steps…he ascends the steps, enters sloppily through the ropes and composes. He turns and starts to wave at the crowd. Belvedere is in the ring~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…please welcome…after his shocking, upset win from one week ago…please welcome The Uber Man!!

~The crowd pops. An “UBER-MAN!” chant begins. Uber smiles. He takes the mic from Belvedere~

The Uber Man: I just wanted to come out here and celebrate my first win as a professional wrestler! Last week just showed that if you work hard, do what’s right, stay in your lane, obey all traffic laws and work hard…you can achieve your dreams!

~The crowd cheers. They dig these types of inspirational speeches. It gives them all false hope~

The Uber Man: Some people, namely my aunt, have advised that I retire. But…I’m here to say that I will not be retiring any time soon! I’m determined to chase this dream forever!

~The crowd cheers once again. We spot something strange…a fan hops the barricade. Uber spots it and smiles~

The Uber Man: Oh, well, hello there

~It’s an attractive female. We have a hard time deciphering much more than that fact. She slides into the ring and steps up to The Uber Man. Slowly, people begin to recognize her face. Uber, however, is clueless~

Smith: Hood…that’s…that’s…TALIA AREANO!

Hood: Damn, she’s hot

Smith: She’s also WAY out of Uber’s league

Hood: Well, no shit

Smith: Athletically speaking…he better get out of there before he gets hurt!

The Uber Man: I appreciate the offer but I’m betrothed to my love, Alice Knight. For my heart is hers and hers alone. I shall not…UGH!

Smith: Too late

~Talia has heard enough. She kicks Uber in the gut. He drops the mic. She knees him in the face…he falls backwards, into a corner. The crowd is hot…they are excited for the return of Areano…they get behind her act of violence. She rushes toward Uber, she grabs him by the head, spins him around, climbs up the corner and drops him with Slice of Heaven (Sliced Bread 2)!!!! The crowd breaks into a ‘TALIA!’ chant. Areano kicks the mic out of the ring…Belvedere has long since vacated the danger zone. She looks into the camera and says “I’m Back!”~

Smith: Talia Areano is back, Hood! And it looks like she’s got her eye on The Uber Man

Hood: Welcome to the shark tank, Uber. He wanted to wrestle…he’s got his wish

Smith: She will be a tremendous test for Uber. I just hope he comes out of it…okay

Hood: She’s gonna turn the boy into a man, Smith

~Talia exits the ring and heads up the ramp to a strong ovation. A few OCW personnel members slide into the ring to check on the, apparently injured Uber Man~

~We cut backstage where a frustrated Welsh is looking at his PPV lineup. We see the name ‘Crimson’ crossed out. We see the name ‘TIO’ crossed out. We now see an expensive pen drawing a very straight line through the name ‘Emery’~

Marcus Welsh: You know, it would be nice if once…JUST ONCE things went according to plan. But, nope, here we are…two weeks away from Lost at Sea and I’ve got all these open slots.

~Welsh circles Mack’s name, which was nestled next to Emery’s. He draws an arrow, bringing it up, next to Canon’s~

Marcus Welsh: Time to make some lemonade. Lukas wants to try and murder fans, well he can sit this show out. His shot against Mack is REVOKED. So what we’ll do is move Mack up to the #1 Contenders Match…I mean he was arguably the #1 Contender at the end of 2017. So it’ll be Mack O’Connor taking on Curt Canon for an OCW Title shot.

~Welsh moves Grenier/Zybala into the spot where Mack/Emery resided. He then reaches the gaping hole left by TIO’s departure~

Marcus Welsh: Hmm…

~An ant crawls across his desk. A metaphorical lightbulb flashes over his head. He scribbles the names of Alice Knight and Roach down next to the crossed out ‘TIO’~

Marcus Welsh: Okay, yea…the winner of tonight’s main event will face Bradley Carrington for the Oceanic Title.

~Welsh leans back in his chair, staring over the card. He sees Meyhu/Vargas, Canon/O’Connor, Barnes/Muffles/Houston, Grenier/Zybala and Carrington/Roach-Alice~

Marcus Welsh: Ya know what…not bad. Not too bad…now we’ve just got to get some stipulations down for these matches. It’s a good thing I’m a fucking genius…it’s also a good thing that psycho Zybala is apparently MIA this evening.

~We cut back to ringside~

Smith: Very disappointing to see Lukas has been pulled…yet, for some reason, Bradley Carrington retains his spot

Hood: We all know that loss earlier this evening was a fluke

Smith: Just seems biased to me, that’s all

Hood: Yea well you think everything is biased…bleeding heart

Smith: It does raise the stakes of tonight’s main event, however. As if that match could be any more important

Hood: Yep, Roach taking on Carrington is a match I never knew I wanted to see so badly until this evening

Smith: And Carrington against Alice…

Hood: ENOUGH BLASPHEMY

Smith: Right…well since this bit of dialogue is about to go off the rails…let’s head down to ringside for a clash between two of OCW’s all-time greats. It’s a match that could headline any event…but, tonight, you get it for free on Massacre. It’s Matt Meyhu, the OCW Champion, taking on former OCW Champion Bob Grenier…to the ring!

Singles Match - Non-Title
“The Marvel” Matt Meyhu © (17-2) vs. Bob Grenier (14-8)

~We cut to Belvedere who is in the ring. He looks especially professional for this match – probably because it features TWO former OCW Champions. We get a “BOB!” chant going amongst the people. It’s obvious where their loyalties lie~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!

~The crowd yells in unison ‘ONE FUCKING FALL!’ Belvedere does his best to suppress a smile. “Where the Hood At” by DMX begins echoes throughout the arena and Bob Grenier makes his way out to a nice ovation. He slaps the hands of his fans while he mouths the words of the song to himself, about half way down the aisle he stops and looks up and throws both hands in the air in tribute to his deceased relatives. He looks directly into the OCW camera and then playfully turns it towards the audience before he slides under the bottom rope. The fans continue to cheer as he sits on the top turnbuckle silently awaiting his opponent~

Belvedere: Introducing first, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222 lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…he is…Bob Grenier!!

~The crowd is firmly behind Bob. He sits atop the buckle and looks out into the crowd, feeling their support. He nods his head along to a “BOB!” chant~

“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…”

~The PRO-GRENIER vibe is SHATTERED once “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits. The lights dim. Green lights flicker throughout the arena as Matt Meyhu walks slowly out onto the ramp. Matt poses for the fans with a smirk on his face, receiving a chorus of boos. He shrugs them off and walks down the ramp, ignoring fans who reach out to him, until he reaches the ring apron. He hops up onto it and grabs the top rope before vaulting over into the ring. Matt lands and hops up and down a few times before making his way over to his corner. He climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle and poses once more for the fans, oblivious to the reaction he is getting. He laughs as he hops down and takes his place in the corner~

Belvedere: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the OCW Champion…he is “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu!!!

~BOOOOO goes the crowd. Meyhu waves his hands in the air, encouraging them to get louder – they do. Belvedere exits the ring. Scruff approaches and asks Matt for his OCW Title. Meyhu takes his time unbuckling the belt from his waist and handing it over. Bob watches, still seated atop his corner. Meyhu looks over at Bob and he tells Scruff “Show it to him, he’s probably forgotten what it looks like!” The crowd BOOS upon overhearing this arrogant remark. Scruff ignores Matt, taking the belt to the side of the ring and handing it to Belvedere, who takes it with him to his seat near ringside. The bell sounds. The crowd goes wild! Bob remains seated atop his corner while Matt is standing near the center of the ring, looking over at Grenier~

Smith: What a match! A former OCW Champion taking on the Current OCW Champion…this would headline most pay per view events!

Hood: Calm down, would ya? We all know THE CHAMP is going to win

Smith: What are you talking about? Grenier has only lost once since returning in 2018 and it was while being emotionally compromised and distracted due to the kidnapping of his fiancé

Hood: Ah so you’re saying Meyhu is facing yet another idiot who is wayyy too into his family. Sounds like another EASY WIN, for the Marvel

~Bob remains seated, very calm. It’s not what we’re used to seeing from a Grenier. Meyhu extends his arms, looking at Scruff. Scruff just stands there, staring off into the distance like a stupid hobo. Meyhu motions for Grenier to come down. Grenier doesn’t respond~

Smith: Some mind games being played here by the Hall of Famer. We can’t forget that Bob Grenier is a very savvy in ring competitor

Hood: First time I’ve heard Bob called savvy

Smith: He always seems to find a way

Hood: I thought he just threw shit at the wall to see what stuck. If that’s savvy then Iggy Hardy is a damn strategist

~Meyhu places his hands on his hips. He shakes his head and looks up at Bob, “You’re really not coming down?” Bob remains stoic. The fans cheer, chanting “EH! GRENIER! EH, EH GRENIER!” Meyhu drops to the mat and rolls under the bottom rope. He stands on the apron and heads toward Bob. He tries to shove Bob off the top buckle. Bob, failing to expect this act, struggles to remain on top. He throws a couple of solid right hands into the forehead of Meyhu. The champ grabs onto the top rope for support. Bob stands! He dives off the top rope, to the floor with a modified sunset flip over Meyhu…he holds onto the champs midsection and yanks him down with a powerbomb onto the outside floor!! The crowd goes wild!! The fans at ringside are slapping the barricade. Bob leans against the ring apron with his eyes wide…probably surprised the move worked. He feels around to make sure he’s okay…he then starts to smile~

Smith: What a move by Grenier! I told you he was savvy!

Hood: What are you talking about…the fucking drug addict from Canada lost his balance and just grabbed Meyhu to keep from breaking his neck

Smith: He did not! He was showing the agility and athleticism we saw in 2015 Bob Grenier!

Hood: Bob is many things…I don’t think he’s ever been ‘athletic’

~Meyhu is flat on his back, staring up at the lights. He looks a little ‘punch drunk’ from the impact…an instant replay is shown and we see the back of Meyhu’s head smacking against the outside floor. A collective “OHHH” from the crowd is heard as they see the unfortunate landing~

Smith: That does not look good…hopefully the champ is not suffering from a concussion

Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING…putting our CHAMP in a match like this two weeks before his title defense. This HAS to be a Mike Zybala decision

Smith: The champ has had a MONTH off

Hood: Any other man would have needed two months after that Iron Man match. Matt Meyhu is truly a marvel coming back this quickly

~Grenier straightens up and stomps Meyhu in the gut. He keeps his foot pressed into Meyhu’s stomach while stepping forward, placing all his pressure onto that foot. He steps over Meyhu, nearing the fans, finally releasing the pressure and lifting the foot that had been planted into Meyhu’s stomach. The Marvel rolls to his side, grimacing in pain. Grenier high fives some fans at ringside, taking this all quite flippantly~

Smith: Bob taking some time out to talk to his North American fans

Hood: Why would people in Key West cheer for Grenier?

Smith: Because he’s such a hard worker…the embodiment of an American everyman

Hood: And yet he’s a fuckin Canadian.

~Meyhu gets onto all fours and reaches for the cloth hanging from the ring apron. He uses it to get to his feet. Bob continues fraternizing with the fans…he spots a woman with a low cut shirt. He seems to be recanting tales of old glory in an attempt to woo her. Meyhu comes up from behind and hooks him with a Full Nelson!! The fans, especially the girl, recoil with fright! Bob, though, has a trick up his sleeve…the thrusts his leg back and drills Meyhu in the groin!! Meyhu falls to both knees, once again in pain. Scruff hops out of the ring, upon seeing the maneuver and starts to chat with Bob~

Smith: Scruff perhaps letting Bob know that move is not within the parameters of the rules pertaining to this match

Hood: Well, that’s great and all but, ya know, he could DQ the man

Smith: This is a marquee match, Hood. It would take much more than that to earn a DQ

Hood: WEAK ASS REF

~Meyhu, displaying the recovery skills that have helped make him the premier competitor that he is, reaches over and grabs Grenier by the waistband on the back of his trunks. He pulls Grenier back, like he’s going to roll him up…but, instead of a roll up, the back of Grenier’s head SMACKS into the edge of the apron!! Bob rolls around, holding the back of his head in pain. The fans at ringside, especially the woman, boo heavily! Scruff slides into the ring and begins to count~

Smith: What awareness by the champion…I don’t like him but there’s no denying that there are very few holes in Matt Meyhu’s game

Hood: And NOW Scruff starts to count…what a moron

Smith: Well…it could be seen as biased behavior against Grenier…he could count Grenier out

Hood: OR…he could be attempting to limit the damage Meyhu could do to Bob out there…whereas he was just happy to stand back and let Bob have twenty minute conversations while low blowing our champ!

~Meyhu stands and, as luck would have it, is facing the fans. They yell at him…but the closer he gets to them the lower their voices shrink – the further they back away. Finally, he spots the woman Grenier was chatting up. He reaches down, into his boot and reveals a #$13 Meyhu Bill! He stuffs it into her cleavage before turning around to go back after Bob. Scruff yells out “FIVE!”~

Smith: Disgusting

Hood: Hey, just because Meyhu is a charitable person doesn’t mean you have to start disliking him

Smith: I’m a huge fan of philanthropy…not a fan of stuffing fake money into the bosom of some voluptuous trollop!

~Scruff yells “SIX!” Meyhu snares Bob and shoves him, back first against the apron. The edge of the apron spikes against Bob’s spine. Bob winces…Meyhu reaches forward, about to toss Bob back in. Scruff yells “SEVEN!” Bob reaches out and THUMBS Meyhu in the eye! The crowd at ringside cheers! Meyhu staggers back. Bob rolls in…Scruff yells ‘EIGHT!’~

Smith: Meyhu may get counted out!

Hood: Are you fucking kidding me? The champ going down to a THUMB

Smith: Hey, a thumb helped Thanos wipe…

Hood: SPOILER ALERT MOTHER FUCKER

~Meyhu covers his eye, he blinks rapidly. Scruff yells ‘NINE!’ It suddenly dawns on Meyhu what’s taking place. He leaps forward, diving in under the bottom rope, breaking the count before ten. Upon entering the ring he’s met with boots by Bob. Grenier stomps and stomps and stomps, keeping the champ on the mat~

Smith: Meyhu avoids a disappointing defeat

Hood: I’m telling ya…you don’t fight Bob outside the ring…that’s like fighting him in the woods of Canada

Smith: There aren’t any trees outside the ring

Hood: I’m trying to be metaphorical!

~Grenier yanks Meyhu to his feet and whips him into the ropes…The Marvel bounces off and receives a Grenier headbutt into the chin! Meyhu staggers back…falling to one knee. He nearly collapses…his right hand extends to the mat, keeping him from falling. Bob looks out to the crowd…they cheer…he runs forward and KNEES Meyhu in the face! The Marvel slams, back first onto the mat! Grenier covers the champ~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!

Smith: Great combination of moves to the champion’s head…it just wasn’t enough

Hood: He’s going to cause brain damage to the greatest in ring competitor in OCW history!

Smith: That sounds slightly hyperbolic

Hood: Which part?

~Grenier doesn’t seem impacted, negatively over the two count. He remains uncharacteristically focused. He yanks Meyhu to his feet and chops him in the chest. Meyhu staggers into a corner. Bob shoots him out of the corner…The Marvel runs across the ring, slamming into the opposite corner. Bob sprints for the champion…he leaps through the air with a splash…The Marvel CATCHES Bob! Meyhu carries Bob near the center of the ring before depositing him with an Alabama Slam!!! The ring shakes from the impact!! Bob holds the back of his head in pain with both hands while Meyhu rolls onto his back, continuing to recover~

Smith: Great recovery by Meyhu

Hood: That’s why he’s the champ!

Smith: He has an uncanny ability to bounce back from punishment that would prevent most wrestlers from remaining competitive

Hood: That’s why he’s the champ!

~Meyhu sits up. Grenier is still on the mat. Meyhu gets to his feet. Bob rolls onto all fours and finds his eyes staring at the boots of The Marvel. Meyhu hooks Grenier by the waist and deadlifts him over his shoulder – a tremendous display of strength. He’s got Bob in position for a reverse powerslam. He backs into a corner, getting ready to add some emphasis to the impact by running. Grenier hooks his legs around the ropes. Meyhu starts forward…Grenier slips out of his grip and is seated atop the corner. Meyhu stops…he turns around…Grenier pops to his feet and leaps off with a Reverse Crossbody! It takes the champ down! He remains on top for the pin~

1!

Kick Out!

Smith: No dice there…it’s going to take more to keep The Marvel down

Hood: Stupid pin by Bob…he should have kept the momentum going

~Bob hurries to his feet, realizing The Marvel has had more than enough time to recover. Meyhu kips up! The two men are face to face…Meyhu grabs Bob by the arm and pulls him forward for a Short Arm Clothesline! Grenier ducks! Meyhu turns around…Bob spins and DRILLS Meyhu in the chin with a discus back elbow!! Meyhu turns around, giving his back to Grenier…Bob hooks him and tosses him on his head with a Dragon Suplex! Bob pops to his feet, fired up! The crowd responds, cheering for the former champion~

Smith: Bob looks as clear headed as I can remember!

Hood: That OR Meyhu’s experimentation this week clouded his head to such a degree that he’s making Bob look sober

Smith: Could be

~Meyhu staggers to his feet…Grenier hits a Bicycle kick!! Meyhu again turns around…Grenier hooks him and tosses the champion on his head with a Tiger SupleX!! The crowd cheers…for a moment…until they see the genetic freak pop back to his feet, flush with frustration. Grenier’s eyes widen, stunned. Meyhu charges at Grenier with a lariat…Grenier ducks…he hooks Meyhu’s waist…he lifts the champ up and dumps him on his head with a German Suplex! He bridges into a pin…Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

Shoulder up!!!

Smith: BARELY…the champ BARELY survived

Hood: Bob is trying to break his neck…what’s he doing, trying to help Vargas?

Smith: Those two may be mortal rivals…but there’s also a respect there…I mean there kinda has to be after all the wars they faced…Vargas and Grenier

Hood: A couple of idiots if you ask me…this is why we NEED Meyhu as our champion! C’mon, Matt…walk away and take the count out if you have to…we need you 100% for Lost at Sea!

~Grenier, on all fours, slaps the mat. Meyhu sits up…he stares at the mat…it’s clear he’s not all there – mentally. Bob snares Meyhu by the hair and gets to his feet while brining Meyhu along. He hooks Meyhu for a standard suplex. He hoists the champ up. Meyhu kicks his legs and lands behind Bob…he shoves Bob in the back…Grenier hits the ropes, he bounces off and is met with HUBRIS!! Meyhu kicks him RIGHT in the face!! Bob staggers back, falling through the ropes and landing on the apron. Meyhu falls to a knee, continuing to recover from all the punishment he’s received~

Smith: What a kick…you just can’t keep this man down

Hood: He’s like the Terminator…only with bigger muscles and a larger personality

Smith: Yea, I don’t know…

Hood: And a MUCH hotter female lead

~Meyhu returns to his feet. Bob is on his feet, holding onto the top rope…his head is bent forward, sweating dripping from his thinning, wet strands of hair. Meyhu throws another HUBRIS kick…Bob catches his leg! Bob grabs Meyhu’s other leg! Meyhu uses his hands to keep from face planting on the mat. Bob has Meyhu in the wheel barrow position~

Smith: And Bob is showing the resiliency we’ve come to assimilate with the Grenier name for so long

Hood: Uh, sure

Smith: You think he can get Meyhu up and over with a Wheel Barrow suplex?

Hood: Why isn’t it Wheel BARREL? What is a barrow?

Smith: Google it if you’re so hung up on the term…I’m calling a fantastic match!

~Bob tries to lift Meyhu up and over…Meyhu, however, tucks and rolls, pulling his legs out from under Grenier’s arms. He is able to slide between Bob’s legs and stand behind Grenier. He hooks Grenier around the waist in one, fluid motion and tosses him over his head with a German Suplex!! Grenier flies from the apron, crashing back first into the barricade!! The fans chant HOLY SHIT!! The Marvel, meanwhile, lands on his own head, outside the ring! He kicks his legs around, holding the back of his head, grimacing in pain~

Smith: OH MY GOSH! Both men could be seriously injured!

Hood: One moreso than the other…and that man’s name is ROBERT GRENIER

Smith: I’m surprised Meyhu took such a risk

Hood: He’s caught up in the action…guy is trying to murder Grenier…only way to keep a Grenier down, apparently

~Meyhu sits up. He rotates his neck…he grabs the apron cloth and pulls up, standing. He turns around and goes after Bob. Grenier hasn’t moved. He’s crashed out atop a warped, bent barricade. Fans are standing around, looking down at one of their favorites. The voluptuous woman from earlier is nearby. She takes the $13 bill out and throws it at Meyhu – disgusted at what he’s done to Bob. Meyhu shrugs, picks it up and places it back in his boot. He’s immaterial to the whole affair…in fact, he’s probably happy he got the money back. Anyway, he picks Bob up over his shoulder and carries the lifeless legend to the ring…depositing him on the apron and shoving him inside the ring, under the bottom rope. He rolls in behind Bob~

Smith: Bob hasn’t moved since he hit that barricade…he could be seriously injured

Hood: That or he’s had enough. He’s just going to fake some type of coma and let Meyhu beat him…that way he can survive to fight another day

Smith: Bob would never do that

~Meyhu stands in the ring. He pulls Bob up and gets the limp legged man hooked for an Ego Trip. Grenier suddenly springs to life! The crowd goes wild…he throws his head to the side, knocking skulls with Meyhu. Meyhu loses his grip. Bob reaches up and hooks Meyhu’s head and locks him in a Front Chancery. The crowd chants ‘YES! YES!”~

Smith: He calls that O’Gormans Neuce…but what you really need to know is that it immediately precedes Hollinger Park Hangman!

Hood: What the fuck…the drugs are kicking in!

Smith: This is what you get when you have two of OCW’s best going toe to toe!

Hood: And here I thought Meyhu had bigger feet.

~Scruff hops around, excitedly! The crowd is going wild. Bob HOISTS Meyhu up…he’s heavy. Bob staggers and turns around, his back to Scruff. He’s got Meyhu in position. Our camera angle shifts to get a front view of Bob. Meyhu reaches over and rakes Bob across the face!! Bob loses his grip! Meyhu lands on his feet…he grabs Bob and drops him with Ego Trip!!! The wind is sucked entirely from the crowd!! Meyhu crawls on top of Bob. Scruff, who was out of position, drops to his knees to make the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings. The crowd BOOOOS~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…he is the OCW Champion…“THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!

Smith: NO! Bob had this! Where was Scruff?!

Hood: Out of position as usual…but, hey…don’t hate the player because he knows how to dominate the game

Smith: Ugh…this is disgusting…I mean look at the replay, look!

~We get another shot – slow motion this time, of Meyhu raking Bob’s eyes. The crowd, upon seeing it on the OCWTron yells out “OH COME ON!!” Meyhu sits up, eying the replay. He laughs and returns to his feet. He snaps his fingers at Belvedere, demanding his OCW Title be returned to him~

Smith: A man that talented does not need to resort to those types of antics

Hood: A winner does what he must to win, Smith

Smith: Blah

~Meyhu slings the OCW Title over his shoulder. He starts to step over Bob en route to exiting the ring. He, however, stops and looks down at Grenier. Bob is struggling to get up, barely moving…very much beaten down by the Ego Trip. Meyhu looks out to the crowd. They yell “NO!” He smiles and lifts his leg…he begins to stomp away on Grenier!! The crowd booos! An ‘DICKHEAD’ chant fills the arena! Meyhu doesn’t care, he just stomps and stomps on the hall of famer~

Smith: Okay, this is enough…we need somebody to get him OFF of Grenier

Hood: He’s not ON Grenier…his foot is…and only for a few seconds at a time

~The crowd suddenly reacts! They cheer…we see CHAD VARGAS rush to the ring. He’s got a giant welt on his head and his jaw looks swollen (NOT FROM CHEW). He slides into the ring. Meyhu turns around, feeling the mat shake. He sees Vargas, but it’s too late…Chad gives Meyhu a bionic elbow! Meyhu staggers…Chad spins him around and drops him with THE STROKE!! The arena pops huge! Vargas gets to his feet and yells every curse word you’ve ever heard (and some you haven’t) at Meyhu~

Smith: Vargas! He’s out here to help his frenemy, Bob Grenier!

Hood: STOP CALLING THEM THAT…it’s so gay

Smith: I will say what I want!

~Vargas kicks Meyhu onto his back and places his foot on Meyhu’s chest. He holds his fist up and holds out his thumb. The crowd goes “ONE!” He holds out his pinkie…the crowd goes “TWO!”…he pauses, does the ‘beer drinking’ gesture…the crowd pops…he then extends just his middle finger and the crowd yells out “THREEEE!” Vargas nods along. He grabs the OCW Title, which is laying near Meyhu. He holds it up, high~

Smith: And now Chad Vargas is showing just how impactful The Stroke can be…if he hits that, it’s over!

Hood: Chad looks good with that OCW Title, doesn’t he?

Smith: Yes, he does…it’s been over three years since he’s worn it. Long overdue, some might say

~Grenier finally gets to his feet. He sees Chad…he thanks Vargas for helping him out. Vargas drops the title on top of Meyhu’s chest. He looks at Bob and says “Fuck off, Bob” Chad exits the ring. Bob shrugs and drops to the mat, rolling out of the ring, holding his head~

Smith: Great effort tonight from Bob…he came up just short…but, if he were to get another crack at Meyhu…I could see things going Bob’s way

Hood: Yea, oh well, too bad so sad…the champ continues to win. That’s why he’s the champ!

Smith: There is no denying The Marvel's talent

~We cut backstage with Welsh watching what’s taken place on his TV screen. Cap Slock is also in the office, enamored by the action~

Cap Slock: SHOULD BE A GREAT MATCH, BOSS. I CAN’T WAIT.

Marcus Welsh: Yea…it will be a great match. Two legends, both in top form…both undefeated in 2018.

Cap Slock: YESSIR. TWO GREAT FINISHERS. I MEAN IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE FACT THEIR FINISHERS ARE SO DEVASTATING THEN THE ENTIRE MATCH WOULD BE UNPREDICTABLE. BUT, HEY, THAT’S HOW IT GOES. A GREAT FINISHER ALWAYS ENDS THE MATCH.

Marcus Welsh: Hmm…you know, you’re right. Whoever hits their finisher first will likely win. That does remove some of the drama.

Cap Slock: YES BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO. IT’S THE NATURE OF THE BUSINESS. THESE WRESTLERS WORK ON THEIR FINISHERS AS A WAY TO FINISH THE MATCH. HENCE THE NAME, YOU KNOW?

Marcus Welsh: Yea, maybe…maybe.

~We fade out~

~The Merchandise Table is bustling as fans are lining up for this weeks new merchandise. A couple of college guys have their Mack O'Connor bald caps on and proceed to head butt each other. Harold Jones's book of one liners is selling well. 2 fans standing off to the side have just purchased some of the less expensive items. ~

Young man in Slappy Magoo beard: ( opens the book and reads the joke to his friend) a nun walks into a bar... she gets a concussion. Bazinga!

Young woman with Melinda Rhodes wear on tattoo :( gives a scowl) that's it? What a dumb joke. You should get your money back.

~The young man in the Slappy beard nods and pushes his way to the front of the merchandise table. Tony the Spider appears on screen and gets a good pop from the crowd. The young man slaps the book down on the table and demands a refund.~

Slappy:I'd like my money back. This joke sucks.

Tony: (shakes his head) sorry, cant do that. No refunds. (Tony points to a small sign behind him) we only do exchange for equal or lesser value.

Fake Slappy: (looks around and points to an Ed Houston back massager) let me get that rocket..

Tony: hahahahahaha! Sorry I forgot to take that off the table. We've been getting complaints about people getting injured with the pocket rocket. (Tony gives him a wink)

Fake Slappy: what about those giant rosary beads?

~The young man points to the Iggy Hardy beads. Tony brings the item to the young man, who immediately throws the box down in disgust~

Fake Slappy: giant? Never mind, if they were regular sized I would buy them. (Looks around) what about that purple VIP lip gloss, my lips are a little chapped.

Tony: its lip gloss, not chap stick. Hahaha. (Tony grabs lip gloss and hands it to the fan) here you go, great for DSLs...

Fake Slappy: DSL? I have Xfinity internet. But what does that have have do with this lip gloss? I might give it to my friend.

~He nods over to the woman with the arm sleeve tattoos~

Tony: (looks her over and licks his lips) she got some nice DSL.. this is a good choice for her.

Fake Slappy: DSL? What does her internet connection have to do with anything?

Tony: Internet? What? DSL stand for dick ducking lips.

~Tony does the motion where he sticks his tongue to his cheek to make it look like a penis is in his mouth~

Fake Slappy:Oh.. okay. I'll take it.

~We cut back to ringside. “King Nothing” by Metallica blares thru the speakers as the crowd instantly begins to boo cause they all know Roach is making his way out. Roach begins to make his way from the back with a cigar in his mouth and a black garbage bag in his hand. There looks to be some weight to the bag~

Smith: What does Roach have in the bag?

Hood: My guess is a 6 pack……

~Roach gets closer to the ring and stops and looks at all the hate being sent his way. Roach begins to laugh and flows it with a puff of his cuban cigar. Roach raises the bag in the air as boos become louder, Roach tosses the bag over the top rope. The bag lands in the middle of the canvas, blood look like liquid is splattered all over and then a little head rolls out of the bag~

Smith: OMG! Is that a fucking Owl head?

Hood: That's what it looks like to me! Roach must be sending a message to Alice before their match tonight.

~Roach smiles and spits in the ring by the bloody mess before turning around and making his way backstage~

Smith: This is like some Texas Chainsaw shit.

Hood: They never found the real guy!

Smith: I won’t dignify that comment with a response. We need to get this cleaned up…we still have a main event! Cleaning crew, can we get this cleaned up? What a disgusting man…killing innocent birds

Hood: We don’t know of that owl was innocent. He could have been the Charles Manson of owls

Smith: I doubt that. No doubt a ploy to psych Alice out

Hood: He forgot one very important thing…you have to have a brain to be psyched out.

Smith: Let’s head backstage…I can’t take any more of these rude comments

~In Uber Man's dressing room, he sits on the couch with his head in his hands. He's sobbing almost uncontrollably, obviously not over the attack by Talia~

Uber Man: I... I don't... I don't understand! Who is she?! What does want with me?! It's not fair! This was supposed to be my night!

~He continues to sob. After several moments, there's a knock at the door. Uber Man does what he can to recover, trying to look like he's okay. He straightens up, leaning back on the couch, before looking at the door~

Uber Man: Come in.

~The door opens, and Bob Grenier steps in. Bob's still covered in sweat and he looks pretty beat up. There's a giant welt on his head from the Ego Trip~

Uber Man: Mr. Grenier... To what do I owe the pleasure?

Grenier: Have you been crying?

~Uber Man sniffles slightly~

Uber Man: No. Of course not.

Grenier: You look like you've been crying.

Uber Man: I haven't. Anyway... You have a match tonight, don't you? Or did it happen already? I'm sorry... I've been distracted...

~Grenier looks at Uber like he's crazy...given the epic nature of the match and the fact he's covered in sweat and bruises, the answer should be obvious. Grenier, however, let's it go~

Grenier: Thanks for asking, but irrelevant right now... I have a proposition for you.

Uber Man: Oh?

~Grenier smiles. Although Uber Man can't see it, it's clear that Grenier has something brewing in his head~

Grenier: You're a man of integrity, Uber Man. A first class citizen. A man of the people.

Uber Man: Well... Yeah. Of course. It's the only way I know how to be!

Grenier: We should talk... I have the perfect job for you...

Uber Man: What's that?

~Grenier slides a shirt out of his back pocket. Specifically, a shirt with black and white stripes. Uber Man looks at the shirt in awe, and Grenier just smiles~

~"Down" by Otep plays and out comes Julliet Brooks from behind the curtain. As usual the crowd cheers and stands up as they see their favorite OCW wrestler walk down the ramp. She is revealed to be wearing a hoodie, jeans and sneakers. Her hair all braided up. Normally when she comes out she is friendly with the fans, but instead she avoids that and heads straight up the stairs and into the ring with a stern look in her eyes, grabbing a mic and paces around the ring as she waits for the music to die down~

Julliet Brooks: Normally I come out here in such a great mood, but ever since last week with Melinda attacking me, I've been pretty pissed off. Not to mention the previous attacks from before has only made my blood boil increase. I don't stand for women like her. Women that waltz into a company and think they can do whatever they want, because everyone is too scared to stop you, but not me, Melinda. You're the less intimating one in that locker room.. although you try to make yourself not seem that way.

~Julliet takes a deep breath and shakes her head~

Julliet Brooks: There's another thing that has been on my mind lately and that's the challenge I was issued to at Lost at Sea by The Rebel her in a Hardcore Anywhere falls match. Normally these type of matches wear on your body alot, and not to mention I'm still feeling the agony Crimson did to me... covering me in glass...

~She places her head down, then with a smirk picks it up and bites her bottom lip.~

Julliet Brooks: However, I'm a crazy motherfucker and can't say no to a match like this, so I accept your challenge. Now I know you aren't in the building tonight, but I hope you're watching closely, because you have made the biggest mistake by choosing this type of match along with the mistake of signing with this company. I hope that has sunken into her skull.

~Just Brooks wraps up, the screaming voice of Lzzy Hale hit's the PA....~

#BLACK VULTURE'S CIRCLING THA....
#BLACK VULTURE'S CIRCLING THAAA....
#BLACK VULTURE'S CIRCLING THA...

#SSSSSKKKKKKKKYYYYYYY!!!!!

~Julliet SCOWLS at the entrance ramp as "Black Vultures" by Halestorm interrupts her in explosive faction. Out on the stage the Rebel dressed in black steps out with microphone hand in hand and a hard stare as well. She heads down the ramp with a fast paced stride, hops onto the apron, rolls into the ring and immediately onto her feet to address her future foe.~

Rebel: Again, your perception's a little fucked up honey because last I checked, you hurled the first insult and got a well deserved bitch slap over it.

Julliet: One damn min-

Rebel: *interrupting her* FURTHER MORE.... I don't care if anyone's intimidated or scared. Let them laugh at me, let them talk shit behind my back, Jules. You got in my face looking for a fight because you couldn't get the one you wanted. I beat you to the punch and dropped you to the floor like a well dressed sack of silicon shit.

~She paces back and forth, glaring holes in Julliet Brooks.~

Rebel: That slap to the face was earned, the assault with the chair from behind the week before last, was not, so what's a gal to do? I kept it simple. Since you want to end me so bad, I'm giving you the opportunity, sweetie. At Lost at Sea, you have your chance to be the one to put me away once and for all.

~Melinda shoots that dangerous smile of hers.~

Rebel: I pretend nothing, I mean everything I say, and I do what I say I'm going to do and Jules, I'm going to fuck you up.

~She then gets right in Julliet's face, no fear, no hesitation, just the fury of a thousand suns burning in those intense brown eyes.~

Rebel: .... I see the look in your eyes! MAKE A MOVE HONEY!!! I know you want to fight now and I'm begging for an excuse to have Christmas early in July.....

~The Rebel backs away slowly, arms spread out as if in open invitation.~

Julliet Brooks: That's real cute and stuff, but what gives you the impression that I want to fight you now? Perhaps I'm just waiting at Lost at Sea to do that. Ever thought of that?

~Julliet puts her arms behind her back, her hands disappearing under the back of her hoodie.~

Rebel: That so? Why do I find that hard to believe?

~The sudden movement of Julliet's arm alerts the Rebel, the motion of pulling something hidden from the back of her pants. Rhodes rushes in to try and beat her to the punch, but she gave up just one step too many to Mexico's Finest. She's halted in her steps as two needles pierce her belly, every muscle in her body tensing up as electric current courses through her. Two wires trail from her torso to a small black and yellow Pulse Taser residing within both hands of Julliet. Melinda instantly goes down on the canvas with her face a frozen grimace and her entire body stiff as a board.~

Julliet Brooks: YEAH LOOK AT YOU NOW YOU PUTA PENDEJO!!!!

~Julliet viciously kicks the downed Rebel in the ribs and back, rolling the Rebel onto all fours. Somehow, she weakly begins to push up, only to be dropped and sent into another painful, sustained full body convulsion by a second expended charge. There's discoloration on the Rebel's black pants as one unfortunate side effect of a Taser, especially with a second dose, is loss of control over certain bodily functions. The entire time, Julliet continues to taunt Melinda over her microphone.~

Julliet Brooks: HA HA HAAAAA!!! LOOK AT THAT! YOU PISSED YOURSELF, RHODES!!!

~Melinda's hand twitches as if she were trying to reach out and for Julliet and one final zap of the Taser has her letting out a gurgling cry of pain from the back of her throat. It was at that point that Julliet yanked the pins from Rhode's abs and tossed the weapon aside. The microphone drops to the canvas next as she gathers The Rebel up, pulls her into a front face lock, Melinda unable to even stand without assistance at this point. With a vicious sneer, Brooks lifts Melinda up and drills her skull first to the canvas with....~

Smith: THE FATE CRUSHER DDT!!!

Hood: OK! She's done! Nothing more to see here!

~New Mexico's Finest rises to her feet with a wicked grin, the crowd reaction full of heat and vitriol now. She bends down to pick up the microphone and bring it back to her lips.~

Julliet Brooks: Call it off, little girl, you're out of your league! At Lost at Sea, I'll leave you covered in more than just your piss....

~She then tosses the microphone down at the unconscious body of Melinda Rhodes, then drops and rolls out of the ring as her theme plays over the PA once again. As she walked off, back in the ring, Melinda's hands flexed and twitched, as if she were trying to will herself back to life.~

Smith: I'm at a loss for words...I know I've been critical of Rhodes during her tenure...but nobody deserves that

Hood: Man she needs better bladder control

Smith: Stop

Hood: I'm just saying!

Smith: Rhodes will remember that and she will recover...her and Brooks will settle these major issues at Lost at Sea, apparently in a No Disqualification, Falls Count Anywhere match which...let me remind everyone...will be aboard an AIRCRAFT CARRIER

Hood: Yea and what's with Julliet talking about how rough that type of match is? She's always fighting in glass pits...c'mon, Brooks! You aren't fooling anybody!

Smith: She is a tough one...some might go so far as to call her crazy. But that match should be incredible! We need to get the ring crew out here to clean up once again, I'm afraid

Hood: First owl blood and now Rebel piss...these guys need a raise!

~We see an OCW cleaning member head to the ring with that 'Fuck My Life' look on his face~

Smith: I'm told Marcus Welsh is standing by as we prepare the ring for our Main Event

~We cut back to the GM’s office. Man, we’ve been going there a lot. Poor guy doesn’t have much privacy these days. Oh well, at least he’s got a vacation on the horizon. Anyway, he appears way less stressed out than usual. He looks into the camera and addresses the OCW audience~

Marcus Welsh: As I’m sure you all saw…Brooks has accepted Melinda’s challenge. So let me go ahead and make that match official. At Lost at Sea Melinda Rhodes will challenge Julliet Brooks in a Hardcore, Falls Count Anywhere Match!

~The crowd pops~

Marcus Welsh: But that’s not all…we have Curt Canon taking on Mack O’Connor in a #1 Contender’s Match. I’ve consulted with an elite creative team and they’ve handed me a concept called the Treasure Chest Match. Yes, I know the name sounds lame…but the concept is worth trying, I think. Both competitors will have a locked chest outside the ring, in their corner. A key will be hanging from the post. The chest will be filled with weapons of their choice. You get the key, you open the chest and those weapons are available for use. They are the only legal weapons allowed in the match.

~The crowd seems cool with giving this concept a shot~

Marcus Welsh: Moving along…we have our Craze Title Match. Ed Houston will defend his Craze Championship against Josie Barnes and Muffles the Bunny. I didn’t have to reach too far to find a stip for this one…I think it’s about time we add to the OCW Hazardous Ladder Match legacy. That’s right…this will be a Hazardous Ladder Match!

~The crowd goes wild!~

Marcus Welsh: That brings me to…

~Welsh is caught off guard when Zybala enters into the office~

Marcus Welsh: What are YOU doing here?

Mike Zybala: I heard you making all these decisions and I thought I’d throw some input in

Marcus Welsh: Would you get the hell out of here!

Mike Zybala: Don’t tell me you're really going to keep Carrington in that match at Lost at Sea. Listen, we have to talk about Tony the Spider, I think it’s about time we give that kid…

Marcus Welsh: NO! First off…he’s not a kid. He’s at the very least a middle aged man. And second…TONY THE SPIDER will not be in the ring at Lost at Sea. He can sell merchandise. I’m giving Carrington a second chance, okay? That’s final.

Mike Zybala: So cranky. Fine…but how about that bright young Uber…

Marcus Welsh: Again, let me stop you. His opponent, I’ve already decided, will be the winner of tonight’s main event. Alice Knight or Roach will face Carrington at Lost at Sea in an Anchor Match!

Mike Zybala: Hmm, sounds familiar…like one of Bob’s ideas

Marcus Welsh: If Bob has the same name for a match concept rest assured it is merely a coincidence. My creative team came up with the concept of the Oceanic Title tossed into the ocean, hooked to a chain. The first participant to pull the belt out of the water, unhook it and enter the ring with it will be the new Oceanic Champion

Mike Zybala: Not bad

Marcus Welsh: I don’t want nor need your approval. Now, onto your match…

Mike Zybala: Yes, about my match…

Marcus Welsh: I want to put you guys inside the House of Mirrors and…

Mike Zybala: Yea, that’s not going to happen. Match stipulation has already been figured out and signed off by Jimbo.

Marcus Welsh: Jimbo?

Mike Zybala: Yea, Jimmy Boy…ya know, Jimbarino…our owner, Jimmy Buffett

~Welsh appears sad that he’s unfamiliar with all those nicknames. Zybala slaps the contract down, Welsh reads it over~

Marcus Welsh: Referee Shark Tank match? The ref is in a cage above the ring…you must release the ref and get him down before he can declare a winner? That’s…well, it’s better than most your ideas

~Welsh will never admit Zybala has a good idea~

Marcus Welsh: I just hope Scruff will agree to it…he’s afraid of…

~Zybala clears his throat and points toward a clause~

Marcus Welsh: You get to PICK your own ref?

~Zybala smiles. Welsh stews…for some reason, that does it~

Marcus Welsh: You know what…I don’t know why, but that’s it. I’m out. You handle the rest of tonight’s show. I’m going to my condo, I’m going to get drunk and I’m going to play golf tomorrow and block you out of my mind.

Mike Zybala: What about the main event?

Marcus Welsh: I will discuss the main event stipulation next week during a special contract signing!

~Welsh says this as he’s walking out. He stops and turns around, facing Zybala~

Marcus Welsh: And you are BANNED from ringside for the contract signing, do you understand me?

~Welsh leaves. Zybala rolls his eyes and mocks Welsh’s lack of a sense of humor. We cut back to ringside~

Smith: Wow! Huge announcements, Hood! We’ve got our card SET for Lost at Sea…and all the match stipulations, save one

Hood: I wonder what that Meyhu/Vargas stip will be?

Smith: It sounds like we’ll find out next week…that is one of two missing pieces to the Lost at Sea puzzle. The other will be put into place in a few moments. Are you ready?

Hood: Depends on what’s coming…

Smith: The main event, silly!

Hood: I’m never ready for Alice Knight

Smith: Well I’m more than ready! Let’s head down to ringside!

Main Event
No Disqualification/Falls Count Anywhere
Alice Knight (9-2) vs. Roach (2-1)

~The crowd sees Belvedere in the ring. They begin a long and loud “Owwwwwwlis” chant. It fills the arena…giving it this BIG MATCH feel~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!!

~The crowd explodes! Nipples harden! Penises become erect! Trump Supporters and Democrats hug. It’s QUITE THE MOMENT~

Belvedere: The match is a No Disqualification, Falls Count Anywhere affair…it is a rematch from Black Out 2. It is a GRUDGE Match. The first person to scare a pin fall, submission or knock out will be declared the winner! Introducing first…

~“King Nothing” by Metallica hits! Instant heat from the crowd. Roach emerges from behind the curtain with a trash can and kendo stick! He bashes the kendo stick against the trash can in rhythm with the beat of his theme. He stomps up the steps and enters into the ring, raising both weapons high into the air~

Belvedere: From Windsor, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 265lbs…Roach!!!!

~The music comes to an end. Roach yells ‘BRING THAT BITCH ON!’ The “Owwwwwwlissssss” chant resumes. A “HOOT! HOOT!” chant is spliced in between. It’s a very PRO Alice audience. “Electrified” by Dressy Bessy hits! The arena stops chanting so that they can scream their voices into ravaged oblivion~

Belvedere: And…HIS OPPONENT!

~Roach waits for Alice to appear. So far – nothing~

Belvedere: From Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Champion and an OCW Hall of Famer…she is…Alice Knight!!!

~Belvedere exits the ring. The curtain atop the stage finally starts to move. FERGUSON appears~

Smith: What is he doing out here? Where is Alice?

Hood: Calm down – don’t have a fit, I’m sure she’ll annoy us with her presence soon enough

~Ferguson does the ‘kliq’ point toward the roof of the OCW Arena. In the rafters a spotlight shines…we see OWLIE THE OWL with a zip line attached. The Owl starts flapping it’s wings and dancing around somewhat seductively. The crowd HOOTS along with the owl. It’s a weird scene~

Smith: Now THOSE are some moves!

Hood: It’s a fucking owl…geezus

Smith: That owl can dance! Woo!

~Owlie continues to dance before hopping off the rafters head first. It flaps its wings pretending like it’s flying down toward the ring. Everybody is HOOTING and cheering~

Hood: This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen

~Owlie ‘lands’ near the ring and unhooks. It struts around the ring, performing a seductive PELVIC thrust every once in a while before rolling into the ring. “HOOT HOOT HOOT” go the fans. Owlie is having a great time~

Smith: WHAT A MOMENT…haha, I love it!

~Owlie starts to wave it’s wing in the air and places it to its ear to get the crowd to cheer louder. As the owl does this it’s BASHED from behind with the kendo stick!! The music stops, the partying ends and the crowd booooossss!! Ferguson runs behind the curtain in fear – for some reason. Roach continues to bash Owlie with the kendo stick. Owlie falls to the mat, writhing in pain. The bell rings~

Smith: NO! What a dastardly attack!

Hood: You serious? This fucking Owl was just strutting around making a mockery of this feud. And, I mean, c’mon, we all know who’s under that costume

Smith: He could have waited until she removed the head, at least

~Roach yanks the Owl back to its feet and shoves it into a corner. He takes his trash can and covers Owlie with it. He starts to beat the trash can on both sides with the kendo stick until the trash can is pretty much warped to match the silhouette of Owlie. Roach backs away, laughing. Owlie falls beak first onto the mat. The fans boooo~

Smith: We need help out here! This is atrocious

Hood: Too fuckin easy

Smith: We need help!

~Roach kicks Owlie over onto its back and he places his foot on the bird’s chest. He looks at Scruff. Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The crowd is stunned. Scruff is stunned~

Smith: No…I…I can’t believe it

Hood: Haha Roach SMOKED that bitch

Smith: I’m gonna cry

~Scruff leans back on his knees, shaking his head, scratching his beard. Roach, arrogant over his super quick victory, bends over and yanks the trash can off of Owlie. The lifeless head of Owlie the Owl stares up at him. He yanks the owl up and throws it into the corner…it’s propped up by the ropes underneath its wings. Roach grabs the owl head by the beak and he RIPS it off to reveal…~

Smith: WHAT?!

Hood: …

Smith: IT’S SHOOTAH!

~It is, indeed, John E Depth’s porn partner, Shootah. Which kinda makes sense when you think about how short that match lasted~

Smith: That pin fall didn’t count!

Hood: Oh yes it did…Roach can’t be penalized because Alice hangs out with the absolute lowest forms of life

~Roach leans in, unfamiliar with Shootah. The crowd suddenly reacts…our camera shot shifts and we see Alice crawling out from underneath the ring! The fans are going wild. She slides into the ring with her index finger over her upper lip, like a mustache. She quickly removes it and laughs as if to say “yes, it really is me!!”~

Smith: So clever!

Hood: ROACH! TURN THE FUCK AROUND!

~Roach turns around, finally suspecting something. Alice sprints forward, she hooks Roach by the head, kicks off the ropes, spins around and drops him with a Tornado DDT!!! Roach slams head first into the mat and rolls out of the ring. The crowd is going wild!! Alice helps Scruff to his feet. Scruff shouts something to Belvedere, who speaks~

Belvedere: I have just been informed that due to Shootah deceiving everyone by dressing as Owlie the Owl the previous pin fall will not count! Therefore…this match will continue!!

~The crowd goes wild. Alice does a curtsy for Belvedere~

Smith: Never thought I’d hear Belvedere give that sort of explanation

Hood: Shit involving Alice Knight always surprises in the worst of ways

~Alice puts her arm around Scruff and starts laughing about what’s occurred. Scruff laughs along – the two are old, homeless chums, after all. From behind we see Roach’s head emerge over the apron. He staggers against the ring, shaking his head, fighting through the fog. He turns and spots Alice. His mouth pulls downward into a disgusted frown. He crawls into the ring. The fans all yell and point, but Alice is too busy chatting it up with Scruff~

Smith: Alice! Turn around!!

Hood: Punch her in the back of the fucking head!

Smith: Why so violent?

Hood: If anything that isn’t violent ENOUGH…I wish he had brass knuckles or a hand gun

Smith: Okay, let’s just calm down with the escalating violence

~Roach reaches his feet and he sprints across the ring in a rage of fury! Alice, as though she’s got eyes in the back of her head, shoves Scruff out of the way and ducks!! Roach hits the ropes…Alice sprints across the rings, hitting the opposite ropes. She springboards off the middle rope and greets a sprinting Roach in the center of the ring with a Shining Wizard! Roach falls to both knees before hitting the mat front first! The crowd goes wild. The ever popular “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” chant fills the arena~

Smith: She looks better than ever!

Hood: Starting to feel nauseous

Smith: Would you like some medicine?

Hood: The only cure for this ailment would be some cowbell…a cowbell SMASHED into the side of Alice’s head by Roach!

~Alice returns to her feet laughing…taking this whole thing far lighter than anyone could have imagined. She bends over, looking at the back of Roach’s head. She ruffles his hair a bit. She places her hands on his shoulder and struggles, trying to roll him over…she finally succeeds~

Smith: That is a lot of dead weight she’s moving around in there

Hood: He ain’t dead yet, Smith. She keeps fucking around, she’s gonna get caught

Smith: She defeated Roach back at Black Out 2 in a similar environment…I thinks he knows what she’s doing

Hood: Yea? Because I think just the opposite. I don’t think Alice has EVER had ANY idea what she’s doing…she’s just somehow survived due to luck

~Alice bends over again, having what appears to be a conversation with the unconscious Roach. It’s really hard to tell with Alice. She laughs and rubs his hair again…but, suddenly, his eyes open! His arm reaches up and he grabs Alice by the throat! Her facial expression changes…she appears frightened. She tries to pry his hand off her throat but can’t. Roach sits up and eventually stands, keeping his vice grip on the petite neck of Alice Knight~

Smith: No!

Hood: Awww shit, he’s got that bitch now!

Smith: Do something Alice! Kick him in the groin!

Hood: Seriously?

Smith: It’s no DQ

Hood: Meh, yea, you have a point

~Roach bullies Alice into a corner. Alice tries to get away, but he’s too strong. He lifts Alice up, hoisting her up, above the corner. Alice tries to kick Roach in the head, but is unable. Roach looks over the top rope and smiles…he tries to chokeslam Alice over the top rope, all the way to the floor~

Smith: NO!

Hood: The end of Alice is near!

~Alice manages to clip Roach with one of her flailing kicks. Roach loses his grip…Alice lands, safely on the apron. Roach snarls and yells. He slings his arm at Alice…she ducks and slides in under the bottom rope, between his legs. Alice gets to her feet and hits the ropes…she bounces off and charges full speed at Roach. Roach turns around, bracing for something. Alice dives at Roach…Roach bends down…he lifts Alice up into the air with a back body drop! With the combination of Roach’s strength, Alice’s size AND her speed…Alice SOARS through the air! She flies out of the ring, over the area between the ring and the barricade…OVER the barricade and into the first few rows of fans!! Thankfully, fans are there to catch her…but she still lands hard. The crowd is stunned, at first…quiet, fearful she might be dead. We then hear laughter…Roach is laughing from inside the ring~

Smith: Quick! We need somebody to check on her…see if she’s okay!

Hood: I’m sure she’s fine…nothing can kill that woman

Smith: That looked spectacularly dangerous...I’ve never been more frightened in my life

Hood: Then you’ve lived a tragically boring life

~Roach steps through the ropes and hops off the apron onto the floor. He heads toward the barricade. Fans are standing around Alice, who is lying, back first against the cold, cement. There are bits of popcorn and paper debris around her. The fans don’t know what to do. They are afraid to touch her. Roach steps over the barricade, nearing her motionless body. We suddenly see Alice’s nose begin to move. She reaches over and grabs a big piece of popcorn, throwing it into her mouth. The crowd goes wild~

Smith: Yes! She’s alive!

Hood: AND eating FOOD off the fucking floor!

Smith: Instinct, Hood…she needs the salt, probably

Hood: It’s instinct, alright…but nothing to do with minerals or nutrients…it’s her BUM instincts kicking in

~Roach stands over Alice. He bends over, reaching for her hair…Alice kicks her leg up, right into his groin!! Roach staggers back, against the barricade. Alice gets to her feet, she staggers around before stabilizing. She thanks the fans for catching her. Roach fires up, fighting through the pain in his crotch, and charges at Alice with a lariat…Alice ducks! She runs at the barricade, leaps onto it and jumps off with a Moonsault! Roach catches her! He hustles toward the barricade and drops her with Snake Eyes atop the barricade!! Alice staggers backward and falls on her ass before lying flat out on the concrete. The fans boo and hiss at Roach who stands there, soaking in their admonition~

Smith: Dang it! Snake eyes on the barricade

Hood: Oh, sounds like a new potential theme song for Roach

Smith: I don’t think so, Hood

Hood: She’s got…snaaaaake eyes on the barrrricade, baby!

Smith: You have a horrible singing voice

~Roach heads for a chair. A misguided fan wearing an ‘OwlisNight’ shirt stands in his way. The fan is male…probably five foot seven…he must weigh a buck fifty. Roach picks him up, hoists him over his head and tosses him three rows back. Nobody catches the poor, chivalrous idiot. So, he lands with a sickening thud. Roach looks around and yells “ANYBODY ELSE WANT TO BE A FUCKING HERO?” Nobody steps up. So he grabs the chair and heads back toward Alice~

Smith: Well, that was unnecessary

Hood: Who the fuck takes a bullet for Alice Knight? What an idiot

~Roach stands over Alice with the chair. He raises it high and brings it crashing down. Alice rolls out of the way!! The chair cracks against the cement. Roach drops the chair and pulls his hands back, they rattle with pain. Alice crawls toward some fans. She reaches up, instinctively, for a man’s belt buckle…using it to get to her feet. The man is like “OH YEA”. She gets to her feet…sees the look on the guy’s face and Irish Whips him toward Roach. Roach lifts a boot and kicks the guy in the face. Alice is right behind the fan…she flies through the air with a flying forearm which sends Roach staggering into a pool of people. The crowd grows excited…an “OWLIS” chant emerges. She returns to her feet, still showing signs of what she’s endured…but fighting through it~

Smith: Here we go! The former OCW Champion is firing up!

Hood: She just tried to kill a fan!

Smith: You mean that disgusting, womanizing cretin in the crowd?

Hood: Hey, it’s not his fault Alice was trying to blow him

Smith: She was not!

~Alice locates the chair Roach used to potentially decapitate her. She picks it up and throws it at Roach! He catches it. She performs and spinning heel kick, smacking the chair into Roach’s face!! He falls back into the people, taking several down with him. Alice grabs her heel and hops around yelling “NOT SMART, NOTTTT SMART!”~

Smith: You want to make an omelette…you have to break some eggs, I’m afraid

Hood: Sounds like you’ve been browsing Harold’s Twitter

Smith: I only follow Alice on twitter. She’s a Hoot!

~Alice leans against the barricade, rubbing her foot. Roach staggers to his feet, we see a slight cut at the top of his forehead. A bit of blood starts to run down his face. He stumbles side to side, obviously off balance from the chair shot. Alice climbs atop the barricade and watches, waiting for Roach. He gets within striking distance and she leaps off…she wraps her legs around his head and tosses him deeper into the crowd with a hurricanrana!!! Roach hits the floor and slides across it several feet. Alice pops back to a standing position and starts to flap her wings. The crowd begins to HOOT!~

Smith: There she is! Better than ever!

Hood: What a joke

Smith: Looks like the joke is on you, Hood!

~Alice hops over the barricade and makes her way toward the ring. She stops, spotting Smith. She waves. Smith does the “I-Heart-You” gesture with his hands. Alice heads their way~

Smith: You look fabulous tonight, Alice! Absolutely fabulous!

Hood: Get the gypsy witch away from me!

Smith: You should be thanking her! She’s not even angry over your betrayal!

~Alice sees Hood and ruffles his hair before talking to Smith~

Hood: Oh that’s fucking it

~Hood calmly removes his headset. Smith and Alice are too busy chatting to take notice. He picks his chair up, swing it and DECKS Alice right in the head!! Alice falls to one knee before landing on her side. The fans at ringside BOOOO. Smith is shocked. Hood calmly unfolds the chair, places it back into position and reclaims his seat. He places his headset back on~

Smith: HOW DARE YOU

Hood: She touched me!

Smith: She had forgiven you!

Hood: Yea, well…I decline her forgiveness!

~Alice begins to stir. She starts to realize what’s happened. It becomes apparent Hood can’t throw a very stiff chair shot. She stands and looks at Hood. A rage seems to overcome her. She starts to curse at Hood, preparing to come after him~

Smith: Oh…now you’ve done it, Hood!

Hood: SHE’S OFF HER MEDS

~Alice heads towards Hood…however…out of nowhere, ROACH flies into view, spearing the shit out of Alice! They go flying past the announce table and THROUGH a portion of the barricade! The crowd at ringside rushes away, avoiding the impact. Roach gets to his feet and he staggers back until he stands up against the apron, for leverage. He’s got blood AND a smile on his face~

Smith: Where did he come from?!

Hood: He’s a roach…they come from any and everywhere

Smith: Well, yea, that’s true…if you’re a dirty person

Hood: Alice is a bum…no stranger to roaches, I’m sure

~Roach goes back after Alice, who is still down, laying atop the broken barricade. He pulls her to her feet and knees her in the gut. He hoists her up…turns around, facing the ring, hoists her HIGH into the air and drops her with a LAST RIDE into the apron!! The crowd BOOOS. Alice falls to the floor, coming to rest parallel with the ring…her right arm behind and underneath the cloth and ring apron~

Smith: Ugh…I just don’t know…she’s comeback from some tough situations but this…this feels insurmountable

Hood: Revenge is sweet! This is payback for Black Out 2! C’mon, Roach…finish her off!

~Roach flips Alice onto her back. Her left arm is under the ring. He places his boot atop her stomach. Scruff slides out of the ring and to the floor…he starts the count~

1!

2!

Kick Out!!

Smith: The heart! The heart of Alice Knight

Hood: It needs to stop beating

Smith: RUDE

~Roach laughs…obviously frustrated, but shrugging it off…trying to not let the frustration consume him. He bends over…but receives a thumb into the eye! He staggers back. Alice removes her left arm from under the ring…she’s got a bag! She starts to undo the twist tie. The crowd begins to chant ‘ANTS! ANTS!’~

Smith: Is that…is that her infamous bag of ANTS?

Hood: You’ve got to be kidding me

Smith: This is how she beat Roach at Black Out 2…over FOUR years ago!

Hood: No way those are the SAME ants…how long do ants live?

Smith: I guess it depends on where their pile is located

~Alice opens the bag and reaches in. Roach recovers from the eye gouge and stalks toward Alice…she flings whatever is in her hand at Roach. He darts out of the way! A handful of ants go flying into the crowd!! Roach looks down at Alice, smiling. Alice has an ‘OH SHIT’ look on her face. Roach kicks his leg out and drills Alice in the head!! She drops the opened bag and rolls onto her side, holding the back of her head~

Smith: No!

Hood: Fool him once, shame on you…fool him twice and, well, he’s just a fucking dumbass. Roach isn’t a dumbass.

~Roach grabs a handful of Alice’s black hair. He pulls her up and takes her down with a short arm clothesline!! Alice lands with a sickening thud. Roach retains wrist control and looks around with a devilish grin. He starts to laugh~

Smith: Alice is out…he’s just too big, too strong

Hood: And her secret weapon FAILED…so much for being the retarded version of Ace Ventura

~Roach yanks Alice up, by the arm and hoists her atop his shoulders. The fans yell and scream for Alice to do something. Scruff is prepared to make the count at any moment~

Smith: D.O.A.! He’s going to hit his devastating finisher! This is what laid Alice out back at The Greatest Show on Earth!

Hood: JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY, QUIT STALLING!

~Roach suddenly pauses. He looks down at his arm to find ANTS crawling around. They start to bite him. He’s bothered by the bites. He then looks down even further to find ANTS crawling up his legs. They start to bite him. He gets jittery…he’s annoyed…he’s full of discomfort~

Smith: THE ANTS!

Hood: WHAT THE FUCK! Were they in her stupid hair?

~Alice throws a few elbows into the side of Roach’s head. He staggers but reclaims his focus, securing his grip. He tosses Alice for an F-5…Alice, however, is able to hold onto Roach…she comes down and rolls him up with a Small Package!! Scruff slides in for the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings! The crowd goes WILD~

Belvedere: Here is your winner….ALICE KNIGHT!!!!!

Smith: She did it! She did it!

Hood: WHAT A JOKE

Smith: That’s twice she’s defeated Roach in a No DQ situation…WHAT A WOMAN!

Hood: I can’t call this anymore…I’ve got to get to a bar…I need a fucking drink!

~Alice appears to be as surprised as anyone. She gets to her feet, ready to Hoot. But…the fans turn her attention to an IRATE Roach. Roach is on his feet, wiping the ANTS off his arm and legs. Alice uses this opportunity to take off, into the crowd. Roach YELLS and chases after her~

Smith: Sweet revenge for Alice Knight…justice has been served here tonight!

Hood: Mother fucker…now the ANTS are over here! Geezus!

Smith: Haha, I love it!

Hood: I'm out of here...this sucks!

Smith: Alice Knight is heading to Lost at Sea to face Bradley Carrington for the Oceanic Title! What a night it's been...one more Massacre until Lost at Sea! Next week should be off the chain!

Hood: Off the chain? Please, just shut up already

Smith: For Hood, I'm Smith...we'll see you next week!

~Hood is cursing. Smith is smiling. All is well in OCW. We fade to black~