LIVE! Monday, March 6th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~The screen is black. The logo for Like There’s No Tomorrow flashes~
~We cut to an interior shot of GM Marcus Welsh’s office. He’s dressed in a suit, looking like a man befitting of his position. He sits forward and folds his hands, looking directly into the camera~
Marcus Welsh: Hello everyone, welcome to another edition of Monday Night Massacre. We’ve got a great lineup set to being in minutes. But, before we head to the arena, I’d like to make two huge announcements regarding our special event ‘Like There’s No Tomorrow’ which is set to air two weeks from today.
~Welsh pulls out a contract. We zoom in. It reads “Official contract for a title shot at any event of the wrestler’s choosing. All titles except for the OCW Title are included.” We look up and see the headline “Oh Shit Contract.” We can hear the crowd from the OCW Arena cheer as Welsh smiles. He taps a blank line where a wrestler’s name will eventually be placed~
Marcus Welsh: That’s right, not everything from the previous regime was bad. The Oh Shit concept will be returning on March 20th. The winner will receive a title shot at any event of their choosing for any title except for the OCW Championship. The Oh Shit Match will kick off Like There’s No Tomorrow…it will be an over the top rope, through a table Battle Royal. That basically means you have to go over the top rope and crash through a table to be eliminated. Tables will be lined all around the ring…when one is broken it will be replaced. Sign ups for this match will be held throughout the week. The bulletin board backstage will have a sheet. Anybody who is not already booked is eligible to participate.
~Welsh slides the contract aside. He pulls out a platinum wig and an owl doll, setting them side by side~
Marcus Welsh: Hall of Famers aren’t re-signed to linger around with nothing to do. They are signed with a clear cut purpose in mind. MJ Bell was guaranteed a shot at the title she never lost in her contract. That will take place on March 20th. The main event at Like There’s Tomorrow will be a Hazardous Ladder Match between MJ Bell and Alice Knight for the OCW Championship.
~The crowd cheers inside the OCW Arena, very much looking forward to that contest~
Marcus Welsh: Now, as for the rest of the show…there are a lot of in ring contests scheduled that will dictate the inevitable lineup. So, sit back and enjoy tonight’s edition of Monday Night Massacre and stay tuned to the news wire as the final card for Like There’s No Tomorrow will be released before the weekend.
~Welsh smiles that practiced, sales man like smile. We fade out and into the OCW Arena. The fans are cheering. Chants of “Owl! Is! Night!” and “M! J! Bell!” duel against one another. We pan across the myriad of signs. They read…”I GOT INTENSE AT WORK AND LOST MY JOB!” “DR ORANGE FOR PRESIDENT!” “AIRE RAYDER IS GOING TO SOAR TONIGHT!” “BOB GRENIER IS PRETTIER THAN DARE CLEMMENS!” “AN INCREDIBLE BORE!” “REBEL DOESN’T PAY TAXES!” “GIVE PERZAG HIS OCW TITLE REMATCH AT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW!” “JAKE E DANGEROUSLY IS DANGEROUS!” “ASSASSIN LIVES IN GRASSY KNOLLS!” “ALICE AND CJ SITTIN IN A TREE…” “WHAT COLOR WILL MJ’S HAIR BE NEXT?” “CAUTION IS MY GRANDFATHER!” “MACK O’CONNOR ISN’T REALLY BALD, HE JUST SHAVES HIS HEAD.” “DREW STEVENSON IS MY SAVAGE SAVIOR!” We finally focus on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre…Hood, which sign did it for ya this week?
Hood: I’m going to just skip right past that Jake E Dangerously sign. The Assassin sign is pretty interesting, I mean, if he was involved in the JFK shit that’d make him pretty old, right?
Smith: Indeed
Hood: But, nah, for me the sign that takes the cake is ‘An Incredible Bore’…some people have no taste, man. That sign should be burned at the stake!
Smith: I guess it’s good news that most signs are nailed to stakes.
Hood: You think that’s how signs were created? People hung corpses from stakes as warnings or messages and then someone was like “Ya know, this is an awful lot of work and kind of morbid. How about we just write shit on wood instead?”
Smith: I…I really couldn’t tell you. But what I DO know is that Marcus Welsh just made a few huge announcements. One, we already suspected…well aside from the Hazardous Ladder stipulation.
Hood: Those fucking matches rule…Andy Murray vs Silver Cyanide is a classic I still say I watch today. Pryde and Maurako was another great one and then our last Hazardous Ladder Match was…was it Trent Collins versus Emon Biney?
Smith: NO…it was Awe.Some defending their tag team titles against The Danger Boiz
Hood: So I was close
Smith: Not in the slightest. We also got news that the Oh…
Hood: OH SHIT
Smith: Yes, that match is returning and will kick off Like There’s No Tomorrow!
Hood: Sign ups are backstage, right? Feels like tryouts for the basketball team all over again
Smith: I like the sign up strategy…it shows initiative…you know, from those who sign up
Hood: I guess, all they have to do is sign their fucking name to a sheet of paper. I sign several receipts daily…does that mean I have initiative?
Smith: Of sorts, yes. Folks, we are just two weeks away from the biggest event of 2017. Tonight is going to go a long way in shaping that event…I’d love to sit here and run down everything but, honestly, we’ve got so much in store that it’d be better if we just got to it. So…what do you say…should we head down for our opening match?
Hood: Hey, not like I’m going anywhere…so, sure.
Smith: Glad you’re overly enthused…let’s head down to ringside as Jake E Dangerously makes his OCW debut!
Jake E. Dangerously (0-0) vs. Detective Jack Puffer (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~Detective Jack Puffer is in the ring. Annie Alvarez and Tatum Coe have elected to stay in the back. He seems alright, aside from being who he is~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Aurora, Illinois…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 215lbs…Detective Jack Puffer!!!
~ "The End of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage begins to play as the fans stand and look toward the entrance. OCW rookie Jake E Dangerously appears from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring. He rushes up the steps, enters through the ropes and is ready for action~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Freddy Beach, New Brunswick, Canada, standing 6’0” tall and weighing in at 207lbs…Jake E Dangerously!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: This should be a showcase for Jake E Dangerously…one would hope.
Hood: Talking shit about the good detective?
Smith: Just stating facts, Hood
Hood: I heard Puffer found his missing sock this morning. He might be turning a new leaf.
~We zoom in on Puffer’s legs and notice mismatched socks sticking out of his shoes. This causes us to doubt Hood’s statement. But, whatever, we move on. After all, we’re talking about socks. Puffer and Dangerously lock up in the middle of the ring. They push each other, testing one another’s strength. Dangerously is able to get Puffer’s back against the ropes. Scruff asks for a break. Dangerously slowly releases Puffer. As he does, Puffer starts to say something like, “You are a gentleman and a scholar” but before he can get it out Dangerously drills him in the head with a stiff right hand~
Smith: Oh come on…bad sportsmanship!
Hood: Hey, he released the hold. He can’t baby the guy…this is wrestling, not badminton
Smith: Lot of babying goes on in Badminton?
Hood: Oh hell yea…teeny, tiny rackets…and whatever the fuck those things they hit are. Oh, also smaller courts and nets…that game is awful.
~Dangerously whips Puffer off the ropes. He sprints across the ring. Dangerously goes for a spinning lariat but Puffer ducks and hits the opposite ropes. He comes off and is scooped up by Dangerously for a slam. Puffer wiggles his legs and falls behind Dangerously. He hooks Dangerously around the waist and tries for a German Suplex. Dangerously blocks it and throws a back elbow into the side of Puffer’s head. Puffer staggers back. Dangerously kicks him in the stomach, hooks his arms, lifts him up and drops him with a Butterfly Suplex!! Puffer hits hard as Dangerously begins to lay the boots into him while he’s on the mat~
Smith: Jake E Dangerously showing a tremendous amount of aggression, not letting Jack Puffer return to a vertical base.
Hood: That or there’s a spider crawling on Puffer somewhere…he might be trying to squash it.
Smith: Seriously doubt that…we have great exterminators.
Hood: Yes but given some of the ‘talent’ we have running around backstage or, ya know, officiating these matches…spiders and other creatures are going to happen.
~Dangerously pulls Puffer back to his feet and drills a few knees into his sternum. He violently shoves Puffer into a nearby corner and takes a few steps back. He charges in with a clothesline. He whips Puffer across the ring, Puffer slams into the opposite corner. Dangerously sprints in and drives a shoulder into Puffer’s gut. He lifts Puffer up onto the middle rope and places him across his shoulders. He walks toward the middle of the ring and drops Puffer with a DVD!! He goes for a quick pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Not quite…Puffer may not be the strongest wrestler we’ve got but it’s going to take a little more than that.
Hood: He found the courage to kick out! That’s two for two!
Smith: You’re really reaching
~Dangerously is fast to his feet. He pulls Puffer up and whips him into the ropes. Puffer bounces off and receives a swift kick into the lower abdomen. He doubles over. Dangerously turns his back toward Puffer, jump and nails him with a Pele Kick!!! Puffer leans forward, about to fall. Dangerously pops to his feet, grabs Puffer, lifts him up and drills him into the mat with a Small Package DDT!!! He pins Puffer as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…JAKE E. DANGEROUSLY!!!!!
Smith: Wow, impressive win for the rookie. He dispensed of Jack Puffer about as easy as anyone has thus far.
Hood: Yea…he looked good but I honestly couldn’t tell much. We need to see him in there against someone like Shootah.
Smith: No, I think he’s earned a better opponent than that.
Hood: What’s wrong with facing Shootah for like ten straight matches? You’d be the number one contender.
Smith: Because, Hood…competition.
Hood: Blah, who needs competition when you can just take easy wins.
Smith: Competitors, that’s who…anyway folks, we’re off to a fast start here tonight…let’s head backstage before we check out the debut of our other new comer, Assassin.
~The camera cuts backstage, to the interior of the men's bathroom. The camera is fixated on the handicapped stall door. After a few seconds, we hear a couple loud SNIFFs, and a short barking exclamation of "YEAH!". Moments later, the door flies open, and we see Iggy Hardy, wiping his nose, with a big grin on his face. He closes his eyes, breathes in deep, and exhales through his mouth~
IGGY: WAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
~Iggy opens his eyes and looks to one side. He cocks his head in recognition~
IGGY: HEY! I know you...
~The camera swings around, and we see Dr. Jon Orange washing his hands. Dr. Orange looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes as he turns the water off~
DR. ORANGE: Yeah, hi, welcome. Enjoy the show. No autographs.
IGGY: What? No, no... I know you! YOU'RE the guy that called me "F-boy" the other day!
~Dr. Orange squints a bit, as the wheels turn in his head. He slowly comes to realize that he's speaking to "Intense" Iggy Hardy~
DR. ORANGE: Oh yeah, yeah... Sure, you're Iggy, ah... Iggy what's-his-face! The cokehead! Y'know Max was so helpful reminding me of your last name, what was it... Oh right! Fuckb-
~Iggy cuts off Dr. Orange with a wave of his hand~
IGGY: No! No, sir, my last name is not "Fuckboy". Please. It's pronounced Hardy, just like it's spelled. I really didn't appreciate you getting it wrong.
~Dr. Orange gets a look of shock on his face~
DR. ORANGE: Oh dear, how awful for you... such injustice. Sad. Here you are, an up and coming talent, trying to make a name for yourself in the always-competitive world of OCW, and my client tricks me into saying your name wrong. That must be such a damaging thing for you and your brand. Tragic.
~Iggy nods and smiles. He extends his hand for a handshake~
IGGY: I really appreciate you saying so, sir. Just get it right going forward, and all is forgiven.
~Dr. Orange looks down at Iggy's offered hand, then smirks before looking back up~
DR. ORANGE: Still... I think I'll just stick with "Fuckboy".
~Iggy's eyes start to widen, and his smile melts away. Dr. Orange leans in and pats Iggy twice on the cheek~
DR. ORANGE: Suits you better.
~Like a switch igniting dynamite, Iggy EXPLODES with intense fury! Iggy fires off a few quick punches to Dr. Orange's head, then turns around and RIPS OPEN the paper towel dispenser! He clubs Dr. Orange over the head with the paper towel roll~
DR. ORANGE: Hey! Ow! SECURITY!!!
~Dr. Orange gets his hands up to protect his head, but Iggy isn't stopping the onslaught. He grabs a "WET FLOOR" sign and starts pummeling Dr. Orange with it! After several good whacks, the sign cracks in half! Next, Iggy reaches for a toilet plunger, and raises it over his head... He swings it down, but it gets blocked by a large black arm! Max Shade jumps in between Iggy and Dr. Orange! The Intense One snorts and scowls, lunging instead for the Ebony Colossus. Shade takes a glancing blow to the head, but manages to block a second punch, firing off a punch of his own. Pretty soon, Hardy and Shade are locked up, repeatedly punching each other in the head. They fall over onto the ground just as security rushes in to break them up!~
DR. ORANGE: Yeah, security! Get in here and do your jobs! Jeez!
~Both Shade and Hardy have to be held back by a half dozen security guys each. Iggy is shouting half-intelligible threats at Shade, while Shade is just grinning a maniac's grin with eyes as wide as saucers. The guards holding Iggy are finally able to get him dragged out of the bathroom. Max relaxes and the security guards let him go, so he can check on his boss Dr. Orange~
~The camera feed cuts suddenly to outside of the bathroom. A security guard finally gets Iggy controlled having hold of his shoulders, Iggy backs up and elbows him in the nose. The security guard is gonna miss a couple of days work as his nose SPLATTERED, blood runs wild as another security guard runs in to save his colleague. Just as the other is about to reach him, Iggy NAILS him in the balls with a stiff kick. The guard falls to his knees arching his back in pain. Iggy finishes him off with a swift kick to the chin, flatlining him. Iggy randomly drops an elbow on the fallen guard. And continues to hit him with elbow drop after elbow drop~
Hood: HOLY FUCK! I love this! Max and Iggy are Anomalies!
Smith: They need to settle down, they have a match later tonight.
Hood: Dr. Orange is a genius. Absolute genius! And Iggy kind of is a fuckboy.
Smith: I am willing to bet 10$ you wouldn't say that to his face.
Hood: dollar ten?
Smith: Sorry, I meant $10
Hood: Shit, thought you were morphing into the Eastern European
Smith: Nope, not tonight! Well, it's time for our second match as Assassin looks to rival or one up Jake E Dangerously's debut. Can he?
Hood: How the fuck should I know? I've never seen this fuckin guy wrestle before
Smith: Let's head to ringside!
Assassin (0-0) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall.
~Depth is in the ring sucking on a lollipop and dancing to the tail end of his theme ‘Bad Touch’. He waves at some middle aged women in the crowd, asking them to give him a call and or send over some full body shots. Shootah is nowhere to be found~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Hollywood California, standing 6’2 and weighing in at 230lbs…John E Depth!!!
~”Rock N Roll Train” by AC/DC begins to play. The fans watch the newcomer, Assassin emerge and walk toward the ring. He doesn’t play to the crowd or toss around any mannerisms, he just keeps his focus directed toward the ring. He slides in under the bottom rope and pops to his feet, staring at Depth. Depth smirks and feigns concern~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 280lbs…Assassin!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Well, Jake E Dangerously looked impressive in his debut…now it’s Assassin’s turn.
Hood: Did they check him for any weapons before he came out here?
Smith: I’m sure he’s weapon free. He’s in wrestling trunks, Hood. Where would he keep them?
Hood: You ever see that gun from Men in Black?
~Depth struts toward Assassin. He extends his hand. Assassin doesn’t appear interested. Depth nods and laughs…he runs his hand through his hair and thing flings whatever is in his hair at Assassin. Assassin’s head tils to the side as he wipes the residue away. Depth turns to the crowd and rubs his hair chest in a sexual manner. Assassin rushes up behind Depth and clubs him in the back with a forearm. Depth nearly tumbles through the ropes, but Assassin holds onto his trunks. He pulls Depth back into the ring, hoists him up and drills him to the mat with a Powerslam~
Smith: You’d think after so many losses John E Depth would learn a thing or two about this sport.
Hood: He has!
Smith: I don’t believe so, Hood
Hood: He quit bringing Shootah down here
Smith: Well…true, Shootah is missing and, whenever he’s out here he’s a major distraction for his partner so…I guess that is something.
Hood: Gotta start somewhere, man
~Depth gets to his feet quicker than expected. Assassin boots him in the gut and hooks him around the waist. He lifts him up with ease and dumps him to the mat with a Gut Wrench Suplex!! Assassin then backs against the ropes, swings off and drops a leg across the chest of Depth. He gets to his feet and goes about his business with very little emotion~
Smith: He does go about things like an Assassin
Hood: You know many assassins?
Smith: I don’t think anybody knows many assassins…isn’t a big part of their profession being, ya know, secretive?
Hood: Not this guy. He’s wrestling on LIVE television!
Smith: Well I doubt he murders people, Hood
~Assassin pulls Depth up and drills him with a short arm clothesline. He holds onto Depth’s arm. Depth hangs from Assassin’s grip. Assassin pulls him in, knees him in the gut, lifts him up and powerbombs him straight to the mat!! Depth hits hard and is out. Assassin walks around Depth as the crowd starts to get annoyed with him for toying with Depth. Sure, Depth may suck…but the fans do enjoy pornography~
Smith: Assassin showing more than a hint of arrogance here. He’s got Depth put away, just end the match already.
Hood: I’d like to see a Public Assassin…you know, a guy that goes on talk shows and promotes his upcoming assassination…wouldn’t that be great?
Smith: No Hood, that’d be terrible. And, I’d imagine, hazardous for the assassin’s working conditions.
Hood: Not really, I mean people don’t really watch those late night talk shows anymore, do they?
Smith: I’m a huge Jimmy Fallon fan
Hood: You would be
~Assassin picks Depth up, hooks him for a suplex…hoists him into the air and holds him. He then drops him with a Brainbuster!!! Depth is still unconscious. I don’t think he can get any MORE unconscious. Assassin picks him up again, lifts him up and drops him with a One Winged Angel (Assassination)!!!! Assassin make a casual cover as Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ASSASSIN!!!!!
Smith: Wow, impressive…might have been even more impressive than Jake E Dangerously!
Hood: Yea but Depth is probably worse than Puffer
Smith: That’s a toss up, in my opinion
Hood: True, both guys are pretty bad at both their jobs. But, still…I have to give credit where it’s due Dangerously AND Assassin had great debut wins and I think are here to stay.
Smith: That was well said, Hood. I’m proud of you.
Hood: Yea, I’m in a decent mood. I think tonight is going to be a good night.
Smith: I hope you’re wrong…because that would mean a big night for all the wrong competitors.
Hood: Well, Dangerously and Assassin are two guys who don’t fuck around. Just saying, might be a night for that type of competitor.
Smith: We’ll have to wait and see…alright folks, we’re two matches in and things are just heating up! Let’s head backstage.
~Backstage, the camera catch up with Dare Clemmens as he’s making his way down the hallway, we’re assuming towards his locker room or maybe even the snack area? Nobody wants to wrestle on an empty stomach, right? He’s looking pretty good in his Adidas warm up suit--rocking that black one with the green three stripe look in honor of the Ascension Championship over his shoulder. He’s abruptly confronted by the backstage interviewer with the unfortunate name.~
Who’re: Dare Clemmens! Glad to catch you before you go stuff yourself with cheetos.
~Dare smiles and leans into the mic.~
Dare: It ain’t easy being cheesey.
~Dare winks at the camera. Who’re nods and continues.~
Who’re: Here to get your thoughts on the upcoming contendership match which pits Iggy Hardy, Max Shade, and Robbie 'Aire' Rayder in a three way contest to decide who will face you at Like There’s No Tomorrow. You have some history with Iggy Hardy, but both Rayder and Shade look poised to succeed in OCW. Thoughts?
~Dare quickly drops his want for a cheeto and is already in some intense thought about the three opponents mentioned. He grips the Ascension Championship a little tighter as he considers what might come next.~
Dare: It really is anybody’s game. I’d like to step into the ring with Iggy Hardy again--then I could prove that my first outing against the guy wasn’t a fluke. If I go with my gut, I think I might be looking across the ring at Max Shade. Then again Robbie Rayder isn’t a slouch. It’s all up in the air. Either way, all three of these guys have my professional respect and I’m going to be ready for ‘em.
~Dare gives another nod, satisfied with his answer.~
Who’re: Thanks Dare. Now, there’s something else going on between you and two potential agents. The fans have watched as things have grown tense between you, Erica Bragg, and Tony Chu. Care to comment on the situation there?
Dare: I’d like to, but right now, I have to be really careful who I talk to about this stuff. There are some legalities and hurt butts that would be made more...legal..and...hurt...by my mouth running on the subject. Let’s just say that I have a little plan to solve the problem and with a little bit of luck, it won’t make things incredibly worse.
Who’re: Well thank you Dare, we’re looking forward to seeing you perform tonight and also to see what happens to that Ascension Championship over your shoulder.
Dare: Thanks… Who..re…? I don’t know how to pronounce your name without being terrible.
Who’re: It’s ok, I get that alot.
~Camera fades back to the announce table~
Smith: The Ascension Champion seems confident
Hood: As well he should, he's undefeated, he's basically a male model...and he has incredible taste in snacks.
Smith: Cheetos fan?
Hood: Oh yea...especially those flamin hot cheetos...those things are like CRACK
Smith: I wouldn't know. It seems to me, however, the only thing that could derail Dare are the issues surrounding Tony Chu and Erica Bragg
Hood: Nah...that shit's always drummed up for ratings. A real champion, that fucker doesn't listen to the noise. He just goes out there and kicks ass. And, as much as it pains me to say it...given how that fucking Dare Clemmens guy looks...he's got the vibe of a legit champ.
Smith: He certainly has backed up the hype surrounding his debut. There is nothing we've seen that would indicate he can't or won't be a huge success in OCW. Alright folks...speaking of success, up next we have one of the best success stories in OCW history. MJ Bell, the former OCW Champion is set to take on Robert Morbidus and that match is next!
MJ Bell (1-0) vs. “The True Living Vamprie” Robert Morbidus (1-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~The arena goes dark, then flashes blood red...Mr Judas then walks out first showing off his prodigy - Robert Morbidus. He walks through the curtain, looks around with absolute disdain at the audience. He then powers down to the ring, focused on the task at hand~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from The Other Side of Darkness…standing 6’6 and weighing in at 275lbs…”The True Living Vampire” Robert Morbidus!!!
~The drums entrance of “ Soul Wars” by AWOLNATION begins to play through the P.A system as smoke floods the entrance ramp. Immediately the crowd begins to cheer as MJ emerges from the smoke walking with a confident smirk. Arms lift into the air before slicing through the smoke to fan it out. As MJ makes her way to the ring she interacts with the crowd giving out hand-fives. She climbs up onto the apron before swinging between the ropes into ring. Her eyes scan the surroundings before moving to lean in the corner, both hands on her knees, body gently swaying as she waits for the match to begin~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Paradise, Michigan…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 127lbs…MJ Bell!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: And there she is, Hood…our number one contender.
Hood: Seems like a panic move to make Robert Morbidus our number one contender. I mean, didn’t he lose last week?
Smith: You know darn good and well I’m talking about MJ Bell
Hood: I’m sorry but as long as she’s got Betty White colored hair, I will not refer to her as MJ Bell…more like what the hell, if you ask me.
~MJ grabs the top rope and stretches, keeping an eye on Morbidus. Morbidus stares her down in that silent, eerie manner that he’s become known for. Judas says something and Morbidus approaches MJ. MJ stops stretching and hops to her right, maintaining a safe distance while she sizes Morbidus up. Morbidus moves in for a lock up…but Bell dodges it, showing that she’s got the quickness advantage. Morbidus faces MJ and goes for another lock up. MJ dodges the second attempt and throws a kick into the back of Morbidus’ leg. He stumbles a bit and turns around. MJ throws a series of chops into the chest of Morbidus. It barely fazes the big man. She backs away to reassess the situation~
Smith: This is a tall mountain to climb for the number one contender, literally.
Hood: So he’s not only a vampire but he’s a fucking mountain as well?
Smith: Well, not really
Hood: Dude, you said literally.
~MJ puts her fists up and approaches Morbidus. She’s showing a lot of moxie. She throws some kicks at the calves and shins of Morbidus. They land but have minimal effect. She throws a higher kick, near the ribs but Morbidus catches it! MJ bounces around on one leg…she spins around, turning her back to Morbidus and drills him in the gut with a mule kick via her free leg. Morbidus lets go and stumbles back. MJ gets to her knees, springs forward and runs into the ropes. She bounces off and EATS a big boot to the face!!! MJ hits the mat hard and rolls around, slowly. The fans boo as Morbidus stands over MJ, staring down at her shocked nervous system. Mr. Judas overlooks the action with confident approval~
Smith: Vicious kick to the head by Robert Morbidus. Ya know, after an impressive debut Morbidus has struggled…a win against MJ Bell would vault him right back to title contention.
Hood: I didn’t know that. But I do know that white hair is easier to spot in arenas than other colors…ya know, like red or blue…or, orange?
Smith: Okay, that’s enough. The orange jokes are played out.
Hood: Alright…I won’t talk about orange anymore.
~Morbidus reaches down and wraps his hand around MJ’s throat, pulling her to her feet. He lifts her into the air for a chokeslam…he carries her toward the ropes and holds her over the top rope as though he’s going to drop her all the way to the floor. MJ kicks her legs wildly. Morbidus is losing his grip. MJ kicks her legs up and wraps them around Robert’s arm. He legs go of her throat…she leans back and applies and arm bar while hanging over the top rope. Robert doesn’t grimace or show any pain, he simply tries to find a way out of the predicament~
Smith: Nice reversal by MJ Bell…she may be small but she’s crafty. And…hmm, what’s that smell, smells good…
Hood: *peeling*
Smith: Wait, is that an ORANGE?
Hood: What? Everyone needs a little Vitamin C…and I’m not talking about the singer…although I’d absolutely tap that, twice.
Smith: I see what you’re doing and I do not approve. Put that away and eat a Banana
Hood: Who eats bananas during a broadcast? Talk about unprofessional
~Scruff finally comes in and tells MJ she has to let go. It’s usually a five count but Scruff’s internal clock must have gone off. MJ starts to let go, untangling her legs and standing on the apron. She still has a grip on Robert’s arm…she kicks up and drills him in the face with a kick! He staggers back toward the center of the ring. MJ hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a west coast pop…Morbidus catches her and drops her into the ring with a power bomb!! The crowd boos as Morbidus shakes off the pain and turns his focus back down on the fallen hall of famer~
Smith: Ouch, poor MJ…the strength of Robert Morbidus might prove to be too much
Hood: *unwrapping candy*
Smith: Is that a Jolly Rancher? What flavor…ORANGE?
Hood: Got a fucking problem?
Smith: Of course you know my problem but…seriously, I didn’t even know they made orange jolly ranchers.
Hood: I’ve got the hook up
Smith: Who?
Hood: Guy who tends to hundreds of acres in the mid-west…real happy guy, jovial…some might even refer to him as…jolly…
Smith: Oh shut up
~Morbidus rips MJ from the mat and tosses her into the ropes. MJ bounces off…Morbidus goes for another big boot…MJ ducks and hits the ropes. Morbidus turns around and eats a flying forearm to the face! He staggers…MJ runs into the ropes and bounces off again…she drills Morbidus with a lariat!! He staggers even more. He drop kicks Morbidus in the chest!! He really begins to teeter. The crowd gets behind MJ “ONE MORE!” they yell. She leans into the ropes, shoots off and is picked up and dropped into the mat with a spinning side slam!!! The crowd boos as Morbidus remains seated for a moment before returning to his feet~
Smith: Ugh…Stake through the Heart…I can feel it…it stings…poor MJ.
Hood: *opening something*
Smith: What is that? Is that a movie?
Hood: Yea, just thought I’d make sure the DVD in here isn’t scratched…bought it from those dice tossing ruffians that ripped you off last week.
Smith: Oh, looks…wait a minute…is that…A CLOCKWORK ORANGE?
Hood: What’s the big fucking deal? This is a classic!
~Morbidus yanks MJ off the mat and whips her into a corner. MJ hits hard. Morbidus charges in and crushes her with a splash! Morbidus takes a few steps back. MJ staggers toward him. He goes to lift her for a second powerbomb…she slides down his back and goes for a sunset flip! He fights her momentum off and looks down at her head between his legs. He jumps into the air, looking to crash down onto her chest. She moves and his ass slams into the mat!! MJ sprints into the ropes, bounces off and she kicks the back of Robert’s head!! He falls to the side, holding his head in pain. The crowd fires up chanting “MJ! MJ!”~
Smith: Yes! Come on, MJ!
Hood: Turning against your girl, I see
Smith: No, I’m not…I can be a fan of both, alright? But, I have to say I’m thrilled you finally backed off the hair jokes.
Hood: Mmhmm…just sending a text here to that manager for Max Shade…what’s his name again?
Smith: Dr. Orange…hey, wait a minute!
~MJ has a ton of momentum going. She turns her back to the entrance way and focuses on Morbidus, waiting for him to get to his feet. The crowd boos. CJ O’Donnell emerges from behind the curtain with a white towel or piece of clothing over his shoulder. He stands at the top of the ramp, observing. MJ blocks the noise out, focusing on Morbidus. He gets to his knees and she charges in, kneeing him in the face!! He falls back with one leg folded underneath. MJ goes for the pin, hooking the pinned leg. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Aggressive kick out by Morbidus…almost a three for MJ but the way he kicked out tells me he’s got a lot left.
Hood: I think he was just excited to see CJ O’Donnell personally watching his match
Smith: No, that definitely was not it
~MJ throws some elbows into Robert’s face. She gets to her feet and heads for a corner, in doing so she sees CJ making his way down the ramp with his arms in his pocket. She shakes her head and tries to block him out. She reaches the top rope and waits for Morbidus to get to his feet. He does and she leaps off, wrapping her legs around his head and spinning him to the mat with a huricanrana!! She hooks his legs for a pin and Scruff counts~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Somebody needs to get him out of here! The former champ, our Hall of Famer is trying to defeat a very dangerous competitor and doesn’t need this distraction.
Hood: You know he did have a picnic over the weekend
Smith: Yes…I saw…unfortunately
Hood: Do you think…in the words of Daft Punk…he got lucky?
Smith: The song is called Get Lucky and, no
~MJ runs her hands through her white hair, slightly frustrated. She gets to her feet and watches Morbidus, waiting for him to get to his feet. CJ yells from right behind her, out on the floor “The Burning Mage, huh? Looking forward to seeing it!” MJ pauses and stares down at the member of Aptitude. She rolls her eyes~
Smith: I don’t think MJ will be going on any picnics with CJ O’Donnell
Hood: Only because he won’t invite her and we all know why…
Smith: If you tell one more hair joke I swear to….
~Morbidus gets to his knees. MJ starts to move toward him, looking for her patented Shining Wizard. CJ grabs her foot, keeping her back. She kicks him away and turns, yelling at the co-tag champion. He holds his hands up, acting innocent. She shakes her head and turns around. Her faces comes nose to chest with Morbidus. He spins her around, picks her up and plants her in the middle of the ring with Vampire’s Redemption! The crowd boos…some at Morbidus…others at CJ~
Smith: This is a SHAM!
Hood: WOW!
Smith: Stop it, now’s not the time for humor. CJ is out here interfering in everything…MJ Bell is one of the most hard working wrestlers we’ve ever had…she has a strong passion for what she does and he’s mucking it up!
Hood: Hey, she shouldn’t have stood so close to the ropes. You see a shark in the water, don’t stick your fucking hand over the boat
~Morbidus picks MJ off the canvas and hoists her onto his shoulders. The crowd boos and grows anxious. They fear the worst…they don’t want to see MJ lose~
Smith: Come on, Madeline!
Hood: Who the fuck is Madeline?
Smith: That’s MJ’s name…Madeline June
Hood: ….
Smith: You didn’t really think her full name was MJ, did you?
Hood: How the fuck was I supposed to know it wasn’t? That’s all we’ve ever called her. Fuck, mind blown.
~Morbidus spins MJ around with an Airplane Spin. They go round and round with the crowd groaning. He then flips her off his shoulders and onto the mat with an F-5!!! The ring shades as Morbidus goes for the pin. The crowd is silenced as Scruff goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd is stunned. Their shock turns to anger as they boo Judas, Morbidus, and CJ O’Donnell~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…..”THE TRUE LIVING VAMPIRE” ROBERT MORBIDUS!!!!!
Smith: A travesty!! She was totally distracted and it cost her the match.
Hood: Wow, you’re shitting all over Robert Morbidus
Smith: Hey…Morbidus is a heck of a talent and he very easily could have won this match on his own. All I’m saying is I’m sickened that we didn’t get to see whether or not he could.
Hood: Look, CJ was obviously down here to help MJ. She probably had gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe and he was trying to pull it off so she wouldn’t trip and fall
Smith: Yea, right
Hood: You know what flavor of gum was stuck to her shoe?
Smith: How am I supposed to guess some fictional flavor of a gum...
Hood: ORANGE flavored gum!
Smith: I hate you
~Morbidus leaves MJ alone as he’s not that kind of monster…at least not in regards to MJ…Lance Savage, perhaps. He exits and follows Mr. Judas. As they are exiting they walk past CJ who appears eager to get inside the ring. CJ steps aside and with a very distinguished motion invites them to take the ramp. They do so with neither party really interested in getting mixed up. CJ then slides into the ring with the fans booing and yelling “LEAVE HER A-LONE!”~
Smith: Oh no, what’s he going to do to MJ
Hood: Slip her a picnic invite? Guy could be an Irish player
~CJ steps over the body of MJ. Her unconscious body is between his legs. He leans forward, pretty close. It’s getting awkward. The crowd is about to lose their shit. CJ then removes the pink cloth from his shoulder and drapes it over MY’s face and upper body. We zoom in and see that it is a #OWLisNIGHT shirt. CJ stands up, straightens out his distinguished attire and steps through the ropes. The fans quit booing. They stand, puzzled…confused~
Smith: I don’t know what to make of this
Hood: He totally SEALED the deal at that picnic, man! I knew Alice was a freak. She’s turned and now she’s got him backing her!
Smith: I’m going to choose not to believe that. Those shirts, after all, are available to anybody
Hood: Yea, but I think I saw an ant crawling on that one. So, you know it’s legit
Smith: I hope like heck you are wrong…let’s head backstage
~We cut backstage. Treat Cassidy’s stocked, furnished, catered locker room is still. Mack O’Connor sits relaxed on a couch, sipping on a beer with the OCW Savage Championship propped on a table within arm’s reach. A bucket full of ice and seven or eight unopened bottles is nestled next to his feet. He’s enjoying Massacre via a flat screen mounted on a wall. Chad Vargas, on the other hand, is going through his gym bag, sifting through his gear. He’s not dressed yet despite the fact his match is later that evening. The door opens, Treat Cassidy enters looking slightly pleased~
Treat Cassidy: Great news, Chad. I was able to get in touch with Marcus Welsh and he’s agreed to give you a rematch against The Incredible One at Like There’s No Tomorrow for the OCW Paradigm Championship. All you have to do is withdraw from the triple threat tonight.
~This bothers Chad. He sits down and mulls things over. Vargas may be a lot of things, but he isn’t a pussy~
Treat Cassidy: Listen, I know what you’re thinking. And, yea, it may look that way to some people and, sure, a guy like CJ O’Donnell might even use it as verbal ammunition down the line…but, you’ve got to look at things from a business perspective. If you withdraw you get a title shot. If you don’t, you have to defeat O’Donnell and PerZag to earn a title shot against your stable mate.
~Chad looks over at Mack. O’Connor finishes his beer and tosses it into a nearby trash can. He grabs another and rips the cap off, downing a good portion~
Mack O’Connor: Why are you looking at me? I don’t care who I face. I’ll defend this title against anybody, any time.
~Chad looks back at Cassidy and grabs his wrestling gear. Cassidy sits next to him and calmly pulls the gear back down toward the bag~
Treat Cassidy: They are trying to break us apart. Competing in that match is a no-win situation, Chad. Listen to me…I’ve never steered you wrong. I’m your manager for a reason. Back out and take the Paradigm Title shot. Don’t let pride get in the way.
~Chad’s shoulders slump. He lets go of his gear and leans back against the wall. We cut to the announce table~
Smith: Conundrum here for Chad Vargas...
Hood: Nah, not really. It's like standing at a black jack table with a grand. You're going to let it ride on one hand. But, the casino tells you that if you sit out they will hand you two grand. Why the fuck would you play?
Smith: Because Chad Vargas is a competitor and he has a strong sense of anathema toward The Aptitude
Hood: Still makes no sense to me. He can take the Paradigm Title from The Incredible One. He has no legit reason to compete tonight other than being, well, a dumbass.
Smith: I think you're underselling the importance of standing up to a challenge. There's a strong chance Vargas competes tonight, I'm telling you
Hood: Yea, I don't see it
Smith: Well, I guess we'll have to find out. In the meantime, we've got a huge match coming up as Matt Meyhu makes his OCW singles debut against Drew Stevenson!
Hood: Oh man, I don't know who to pull for in this one. I'd like to give them BOTH wins.
Smith: Yea, that's not how it works. Let's head down to ringside.
‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu (1-0) vs. “The Emerald” Drew Stevenson (2-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall…
~“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…” “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits as the lights dim. Green lights flicker throughout the arena as Matt Meyhu walks slowly out onto the ramp with one half of the OCW Tag Titles around his waist. Matt poses for the fans with a smirk on his face, receiving a chorus of boos. He walks down the ramp, ignoring fans who reach out to him, until he reaches the ring apron. He hops up onto it and grabs the top rope before vaulting over into the ring. Matt lands and hops up and down a few times before making his way over to his corner. He climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle and poses once more for the fans, receiving the same reaction again. He laughs as he hops down and takes his place in the corner~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions and a member of The Aptitude…Matt ‘The Marvel’ Meyhu!!!
~The arena lights suddenly just shut off consuming the arena into complete darkness. The sudden engulfing of a massive bright spotlight shines down onto the entry area, the fans try looking through it but it is far too bright to see through it with the naked eye. Suddenly, the public address sound system comes on playing "The Man" by Aloe Blacc as the stage is still engulfed in the massive light. After a few seconds, the spotlight begins fading away and the arena lights return to life as there stands Drew Stevenson, with a neck brace on. His hands are on his hips as he looks out nodding with the fans booing him, heavily. He just begins walking down the aisle sporting his usual attire which consists of dark green wrestling pants, dark green knee pads, boots and his hands taped up in dark green tape as well. He begins walking down the aisle until he gets down to the ring, he quickly rolls into the ring from under the bottom rope immediately getting back to his feet just pacing the ring simply awaiting for the bell to ring thus getting this match underway~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Kansas City, Missouri…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 250lbs…”The Emerald” Drew Stevenson!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: This is a match that would headline most promotions.
Hood: Why is Meyhu coming out first? What the shit is this?
Smith: Does it really matter who comes out first?
Hood: Fuck yes it does…my goodness, man. It’s about respect. He’s The Marvel.
Smith: What about Drew?
Hood: He’s the Topaz, good guy…but not Meyhu
Smith: The EMERALD…get it right. Emerald, Green. Topaz, Blue.
~Meyhu undoes the strap and hands it to Belvedere who takes it with him to his always safe seat near ringside. Drew elects to leave the neck brace on. He favors his neck a bit. He then begins to trash talk Meyhu from across the ring. Meyhu rolls his eyes in response. He meets Stevenson in the middle of the ring. Drew mentions beating him in the past. Meyhu replies with a short, simple, “Never happened.” Drew persists that it did. He starts poking Meyhu in the chest, arguing and pushing his point~
Smith: Drew and his ‘injured’ neck is about to set Meyhu off.
Hood: I didn’t know Drew defeated Meyhu. Shit…I think I might be changing my pick.
Smith: He SAYS he beat Meyhu. I don’t actually know if that’s accurate or not.
Hood: You didn’t look it up?
Smith: Hood, you know good and well there’s too much going on in OCW to be concerned with anything happening elsewhere.
Hood: True, I didn’t even know there were other wrestling promotions until someone told me.
Smith: Seriously? Then WHERE did these wrestlers come from?
Hood: In the old days? Dean’s garage…I figured he just had them all stashed away, training in there. Now? Bouncers at Margaritaville casinos. It breeds a level of toughness.
Smith: Max Shade, maybe.
~Meyhu slaps Drew across the face. Not a bitch slap, not an angry slap…it’s a condescending slap. It’s a slap telling Drew to shut his mouth. Drew becomes enraged. Drew is a proud man who has done as much in pro wrestling as just about any name you could think of. He throws a kick at Meyhu’s gut. Meyhu blocks it with his right hand and uses his left hand to shove Drew away. Drew’s pride is pierced for a second time. He kicks at the bottom turnbuckle and stares at Meyhu who is as confident as ever~
Smith: We’re getting our first look at Matt Meyhu in singles competition and, I’ve got to say, he’s not lacking for confidence.
Hood: That’s what all the great ones have, Smith. You can’t reach the top of this profession without confidence.
Smith: Drew’s got it too…it really is an interesting match. It almost feels wasted, now that I’m sitting here calling it...wasted by being placed on this show so quickly and without any build.
Hood: The fuck you gonna do? Have you SEEN this roster?
Smith: True
~Drew exhales and goes after Meyhu. He throws a left punch but pulls back. Meyhu reacts to block the mock left hand. In doing so, it enables Drew to grab Meyhu’s left arm. Drew twists it, working the shoulder as he did with Mack. Meyhu’s reach, however, is longer than Mack’s. He takes his right palm and jams it under Drew’s chin, backing him into the ropes. Meyhu whips Drew off the ropes… sprints across the ring. Drew grabs the opposite set of ropes and slides under the bottom, to the outside. Meyhu, poised to hit Drew with a kick relaxes and leans back against the ropes, watching Stevenson pace around outside the ring~
Smith: Drew Stevenson hitting the reset button…he’s not happy with how this match has started.
Hood: He’s probably one of those fuckers that resets a game when he’s getting beat…hate those guys
Smith: Played a lot of games, did ya?
Hood: Undefeated in Madden
Smith: Really?
Hood: Yep, every time it looked like I was gonna lose I’d figure out the guy was cheating and I’d reset the game.
Smith: Hmmm
~Drew continues to walk around the ring, doing various ‘loosening’ up movements. The crowd grows weary, wanting to see some wrestling. They start to boo. He rubs the brace around his neck, acting like it’s beginning to cripple his system. Scruff leans through the ropes, breaking a count. He is seeing if Drew is okay. Drew winces and holds up a finger~
Smith: What a joke. That man’s neck isn’t hurt
Hood: I bet you said the same thing about Christopher Reeve when he fell off that bull in Spain
Smith: Huh? What?
Hood: Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about
~Meyhu has finally had enough. He walks over and removes Scruff from blocking his path. He reaches down and grabs Stevenson by the hair. He yanks Stevenson up onto the mat. Stevenson yells “MY NECK! AHH!” Drew stands on the apron and quickly thumbs Meyhu in the eye!! Meyhu falters. Drew then head butts Meyhu , sending him to the mat. It was a violent head butt which required a lot of head movement. Drew then enters into the ring. Scruff turns his focus back on the competitors and Drew grabs his neck, wincing and complaining while pointing at Meyhu~
Smith: Oh give me a break!
Hood: I don’t think we need any more breaks, Smith. Not after witnessing the broken neck Drew is dealing with
Smith: His neck is FINE
Hood: HOW DARE YOU…heartless mother fucker
~Drew grabs Meyhu by the head and pulls him up. He does is slowly, hamming up his neck. He hooks Meyhu for a suplex but releases his grip and backs away, holding his neck. The fans boo loudly. He yells and pleads with Scruff, asking that he DQ Meyhu for the trauma he just inflicted upon his wounded neck~
Smith: Don’t give in to his demands, Scruff…he’s just trying to steal a win
Hood: You donate to the Special Olympics, don’t ya?
Smith: Regularly
Hood: So how can you be so crass when witnessing a situation like this?
Smith: Those people have physical handicaps, Hood
Hood: And tonight, so does Drew
Smith: He may have a handicap, but it’s far from physical
Hood: Ouch…was your ex-wife’s wedding ring, you know, the one who cheated and left you for three other men…did it perhaps contain an EMERALD
Smith: Enough of this meaningless banter
~Drew shoves Scruff spouting “you’re useless!” and goes back after Meyhu. He kicks Meyhu in the face. He stomps on Meyhu, keeping him grounded. Drew’s limbs seem to be fully functional. He looks in tip top shape. He pulls Meyhu to his feet and whips him across the ring. Meyhu slams into a corner. Drew charges in and clotheslines Meyhu!! Meyhu slouches as Drew throws his arms in the air and begins a display of jumping jacks~
Smith: See? A man with an injured neck would not be performing Jumping Jacks
Hood: It’s called adrenaline, Smith. He’s a fucking competitor and he’s so jacked up with that competitive fire that he could do anything. Hell, I bet he could lift a car right now and throw it into the ocean.
Smith: What kind of car?
Hood: I dunno…what kind of car do you drive?
Smith: You leave my MINI alone!
~Drew stops showing off and he whips Meyhu across the ring a second time. Meyhu slams into the corner. Drew charges in for another clothesline but Meyhu gets his right foot up and he kicks Drew in the head!! Drew stumbles at first. He then grabs his neck and falls to the mat, screaming. Scruff slides in~
Smith: You know, of all the matches for Scruff to actually show concern and dedication toward his job.
Hood: He’s a humanitarian, Smith. He may be homeless…but he’s not an animal.
Smith: Despite your warped view…that is quite a nice change of heart you just made in regards to the less fortunate members of…
Hood: Nevermind..he is homeless, therefore he’s a fuckin animal. I don’t know what I was thinking. Is vertigo contagious? I might have caught some from Drew.
Smith: I don’t believe it is, Hood
~Meyhu has had enough. He tosses Scruff out of the way and grabs Drew by the neck. He works on Drew’s brace, trying to remove it. Drew knees Meyhu in the gut. Drew then drops Meyhu with a DDT in the center of the ring. He gets to his feet and rubs his neck brace~
Smith: That damn fake injury is distracting Meyhu and, look, I’m no Matt Meyhu fan, alright? But this Drew Stevenson act is really offensive
Hood: You just hate seeing crippled people succeed don’t you? That whole donation thing is an act…an act meant to increase your tax write off.
Smith: Please don’t say things like that on the air…I really hate dealing with the IRS
Hood: The truth will find you, Smith
~Drew stomps on Meyhu a few times, staying on top of the Marvel. Meyhu rolls onto his front…Drew leaps onto Meyhu’s back and locks in a Camel Clutch!! Meyhu’s face contorts with pain as Drew throws his head around like a man with a perfectly aligned neck would do…he yanks and pulls and bends the neck and back of Meyhu as Scruff checks on the Marvel~
Smith: Some wild head moving by Drew…not the type of thing a man with an injured neck would be doing.
Hood: You do know he was in an 80’s rock band, right? He’s got those head moves down, bro
Smith: Sadly, that’s the most believable thing you’ve told me this entire match
~Meyhu starts to power out of it. He performs and incredibly painful looking pushup, reaching his knees. He gets to one knee. Drew looks around, realizing he’s about to lose control. He yells at Scruff and nods in a direction…Scruff’s head turns. Drew quickly removes his neck braces and he places it around Meyhu’s neck! Drew pulls back as Meyhu’s eyes widen. Meyhu falls back to both knees before succumbing to the oringal position. Drew crouched, standing over Meyhu, choking the life out of him with the neck brace. Meyhu appears out. Drew removes the brace from Meyhu’s neck and places it back around his. He yells at Scruff while re-applying the Camel Clutch. Scruff comes in and inspects Meyhu~
Smith: I think it’s time we put Gruff and Puff in more matches
Hood: True, Puff is so fucking fat that he wouldn’t have been able to turn away in time
Smith: Not exactly my thought process but anything would be better than the current officiating job we are receiving.
Hood: I’m just glad Drew’s neck is feeling well enough to where he can remove that brace and let it breathe.
Smith: Right
~Scruff picks up Meyhu’s arm. He feels around for any valuables. Luckily The Marvel came bare and, thus prepared. Scruff frowns and let’s Meyhu’s arm drop. It slaps the mat. Scruff picks it up and second time and lets it drop. He turns to call for the bell. Belvedere yells at him “THAT’S ONLY TWO, SIR!” Scruff looks up and counts and nods, realizing it was only two. He rushes back to Meyhu’s limp arm. Drew is yelling at him, knowing time is wasting. Scruff lifts it up and is about to drop it. Meyhu’s arm comes to life and grabs Scruff by the neck! The fans react in a slightly positive manner. Scruff backs away…as he does, the momentum pulls Meyhu to his right and throws Drew off balance. Scruff leaps back with Meyhu holding onto his ref shirt. This sends Drew falling off of Meyhu’s back with Meyhu rolling over onto his side. Scruff’s ref shirt is ripped away with a good portion in the rock solid grip of Meyhu~
Smith: Strange
Hood: Apparently Scruff is a stripper Tuesday through Sunday…did you see how easy that material ripped away?
Smith: Not that easy, Hood. I will say Drew’s tactics have forced this crowd to take a side and they are tentatively on the side of Matt Meyhu.
Hood: Smart people, let me tell you
~Drew rolls onto his hands and knees and berates Scruff. He yells at him for ruining his win. He then goes after Meyhu. Meyhu is lying on his back, coughing. Drew reaches over to try and choke him. Meyhu pokes Drew in the eye! Drew grabs his face and backs off. Meyhu rolls over and punches Drew in the throat. Drew’s mouth opens wide as he coughs. Meyhu jams the piece of Scruff’s shirt into Drew’s mouth and down his throat. Drew begins to choke. Meyhu drills Drew in the head with a stiff right hand…Drew falls over, coughing. Meyhu gets to his feet rubbing his neck and lower back. The crowd seems slightly positive…until, well, he spits at a fat guy in the front row. The crowd then turns with heavy booing~
Hood: These people are IDIOTS
Smith: Drew Stevenson is having a coughing fit! He didn’t see that coming
Hood: He’s probably fucking poisoned…who knows what’s on that shirt, man
Smith: I don’t think it’s that bad
Hood: You’re not Drew Stevenson…a man of pristine health and..op…op…fuck, what’s the word?
Smith: Opulent
Hood: OPULENT as…as…
Smith: Opulent aesthetics…are you reading something Drew gave you?
Hood: NO
~Hood audibly rips a note card in half and tosses it away. Drew gets to his feet, choking on the piece of shirt. Meyhu superkicks Drew in the throat! Drew spits the shirt out. Meyhu grabs hold of Drew, drags him into the center of the ring and drops him with a Flatliner (Ego Trip)! Drew flops onto his back as Meyhu goes for the pin. Scruff and his disheveled shirt slide in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…‘THE MARVEL’ MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: Unique path to victory but, hey, whatever works
Hood: Fucking pissed that Drew lost…but then I see Matt Meyhu won and I’m happy again.
Smith: I guess the journey is immaterial so long as the destination is desirable
Hood: Whatever the fuck that means…I’m just a fan of The Aptitude.
Smith: Well, Matt Meyhu is everything we were told upon his signing. Drew Stevenson continues to impress, despite his cheap antics…I’ve got a feeling both of these men are going to be major players moving forward.
Hood: Well The Aptitude is going to dominate, obviously. And, once OCW gets their shit together and helps Drew with his neck…he’ll show his worth.
Smith: I suppose...
~We spot Scruff grabbing the torn piece of shirt and stuffing it into his pocket~
Smith: Wonderful
Hood: Hey, he's a frugal man, Smith. He kind of has to be, ya know, considering he's fucking homeless
Smith: Moving along...folks we've got an interesting match coming up next. Scott Syren and Annie Alvarez, two long time veterans of OCW, will square off. But...before we showcase their in ring abilities...I'm told we have footage from an interaction that took place over the weekend. Let's take a look!
~We cut to a shot of what appears to be set housing. To be more exact…it’s the fronts of houses, painted onto giant, wooden surfaces. They are lining a small, rubber road meant to look real. It’s clearly an old movie set, long since abandoned. We pull out and notice that all of the facades are supported by wooden beams. There is nothing else. Well, aside from one. It has a black tarp pulled back, making a square. Behind the square is a patch of grass. A small, athletic man is mowing the grass with his old, barely functional push mower. A pink sports car pulls up. We zoom in. The roof is down and Tatum Coe is driving. Annie Alvarez is riding shot gun with Puffer lounging in the small, not really suitable for a grown man seating area. There is a tense moment of indecision~
Tatum Coe: Are you sure this is the right spot?
Annie Alvarez: This is the address AKB offered. It’s not like we have anything else to go by.
Tatum Coe: PUFFER! What did your sources dig up on Syren and his living situation?
Jack Puffer: Not a thing. He’s totally off the grid.
Tatum Coe: Damnit…well…I guess if Scott Syren isn’t here then we’re out of luck.
Jack Puffer: Wait…did you sat SCOTT Syren?
Tatum Coe: Yes…Scott Syren…the most famous name in wrestling…aside from Dean, probably.
Jack Puffer: Ah damnit! I searched for SHAWN Syren.
Tatum Coe: You seriously are the worst detective.
Annie Alvarez: Boys, relax. That façade with the black box tarp shaped thing behind it. We should probably head over there.
~Slowly Coe pulls the car up in front of the façade. They can see where the door is more worn than all the others. Coe and Annie take this as a good sign. They step out of the car. Puffer hops from the back. Together, the trio step up some bare, wooden steps and reach the door. A screechy, annoying voice is resounding from the other side~
Tatum Coe: Ugh, what is that horrid noise?
Annie Alvarez: I don’t know, but I’ll take it to mean somebody is on the other side of this door.
~We get a view on the other side of the door. Scott Syren, dressed in his Brianna Casablancas gear, is slouched in a chair. He’s got a 40 ounce of cheap malt liquor in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. His eyes are wide…but not the good kind of wide…the horrified kind of wide. We turn and see an old, 2014 Brianna Casablancas in ring promo. She screeches and rants forever and ever. Syren’s eyes are about to bleed. Liljungleman is covering his ear. Finally, Syren can take no more~
Scott Syren: Shut it off!
~Liljungleman picks up a brick and he throws it through the screen. The old school, boxed TV quits playing. Syren drinks some of his 40 and then chases it with some of his whiskey. He stands up and begins pacing. His head shakes. He’s thinking hard about life~
Scott Syren: What am I doing with my life? I enjoy a good joke but this…THIS? I can’t do this any longer.
~Syren removes all of his Brianna clothing. It leaves him standing naked, staring out a hole in the black tarp, covered by clear tape. A blurred vision of the man mowing the lawn is barely visible. Liljungleman drags a fresh, old TV. He hooks it up and puts a new DVD in. A 1990’s sitcom theme song begins to play. In bold, wacky lettering the title “Curt Canon’s Greatest Moments!” pops up onto the screen. Syren turns around and downs some of his 40. He smiles~
Scott Syren: Fucker should really be in the hall of fame. What a man…what a champion! I wonder whatever happened to that guy.
~Liljungleman is about to speak when there is a knock at the door to the façade Syren is illegally living in. Liljungleman leaps through the air and answers. Annie Alvarez is on the other side. Syren turns around, fully nude. He drinks some whiskey~
Scott Syren: The fuck do you want?
Annie Alvarez: I’m here to talk about OCW.
Scott Syren: Oh, so you recognize me. Fine. I can do another autograph signing and collect three more wins beating up old people and children. Not a bad way to turn a buck.
Annie Alvarez: I'm not talking about autograph signings. I’m talking about the state of OCW. You know as well as I do what OCW used to be.
Scott Syren: Scoot Time…Da Bomb…Steve Kudos…Clubbin Man…NOT President Dean…and, the biggest omission from the OCW Hall of Fame, Curt Canon.
Annie Alvarez: Yea, I’ve noticed your obsession with him. It’s kinda weird.
~Syren’s nude body shakes a little as he feels a chill. Liljungleman hops around, looking for things to sniff. They are inside a giant black tarp behind a fake building that was used as a prop for a low budget movie who knows how long ago. Annie rethinks a few things~
Annie Alvarez: Well, ya know, in the context of normal.
Scott Syren: Curt Canon dared to defeat the devil when he won the OCW Title. That was back when he called himself DareDevil. The arena went wild that night…that’s what Curt told me anyway. I wasn’t in OCW at the time. He also…
~Syren is going on like a lonely middle aged man reminiscing over the one who got away. Annie jumps back in~
Annie Alvarez: I know you’re not one to accept offerings, especially from a person like me. You hated me as far as I can recall…
Scott Syren: You? Why would I hate you? You’re here to bring me pleasure.
Annie Alvarez: Oh, so you know about the amended contract Marcus sent me?
Scott Syren: Whoa…I don’t get in the business of handler’s names, okay? I just need you to put on this outfit…
~Syren tosses Annie a black trash bag. She digs through it. She finds a brown wig, blue vest, and matching ring attire. The trunks read ‘Curt Canon’~
Scott Syren: I don’t know who the two fuckheads with you are, but I’d prefer if they waited outside. As for Liljungleman, if you’re cool with it, he likes to watch.
Annie Alvarez: What are you talking about?
~Syren approaches Annie…he starts to put on the wig. She pushes him away and tosses all the Curt Canon gear to the ground~
Annie Alvarez: I think you’ve got the wrong idea here. I’m Annie Alvarez
Scott Syren: Again, with the names…I don’t give a shit, it ruins the illusion.
Annie Alvarez: I’m in OCW…I’m a wrestler. I want to join forces.
Scott Syren: No way…the last thing I want to do is help another MJ Bell get into the Hall of Fame.
Annie Alvarez: This isn’t about my career or title aspirations. This is about the promotion. It’s dying. It needs inoculation.
Scott Syren: No, it NEEDS Curt Canon in the hall of fame.
Anine Alvarez: And that’s precisely what I have to offer. I have a contract that can get Curt Canon into the hall of fame, instead of Brianna Casablancas…but it’s only good if you agree to help me see my mission through.
~Syren stares out the blurred window. The man mowing the lawn’s shadow glides across it. The loud noise of a mower chewing up grass fills the space. Syren reaches down and scratches his crotch~
Scott Syren: That’s not possible. Curt Canon is a man of great mystery. We were lucky to find him in 2014. I doubt we’d be so lucky twice. I’m afraid he’s gone. He’ll never turn up again.
~Annie sighs and motions for Puffer to get the door~
Annie Alvarez: Alright. I’m going to ask you again at Massacre, before our match…just in case you’ve changed your mind.
~Annie exits. Scott pounds the rest of his whiskey. Liljungleman walks up and punches a hole through their blurred, plastic window. The man pushing the mower in the back looks awfully familiar~
Scott Syren: Fuck! What did you do that for?
~Liljungleman points. The mower comes to a stop as a man who looks exactly like Curt Canon lifts the bottom of his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face. He sees Syren staring at him~
Curt Canon: Hey Scott! I’ll be done in a minute, alright?
~We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Curt Canon is into landscaping...how, appropriate
Hood: Do you realize what this means? We could potentially see Curt Canon...the biggest omission in Hall of Fame history finally get his due!
Smith: That would require Syren teaming with Annie and that isn't going to happen
Hood: I think you're underestimating his love for Curt. Did you see that gear he threw at a woman he thought was there to fuck him for money?
Smith: I try not to retain information like that. It's too traumatizing
Hood: I can't wait to see what happens next...please tell me Syren and Annie are next...please, please, PLEASE
Smith: RELAX...they are next
Hood: YUSSSS
Annie Alvarez (2-1) vs. Scott Syren (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall.
~”Girl all the Bad Guys Want” by Bowling for Soup begins to play. Annie steps out with Puffer and Coe. Puffer is holding a sign in the air that reads “JOIN US, SYREN!” Coe is carrying a sign at his waist, very unenthusiastically that reads “Curt Canon for the Hall of Fame!” Annie throws her head in the air in Coe’s direction. He rolls his eyes and lifts the sign up higher. Annie then marches to the ring. They get to the ringside area and Annie slides in under the bottom rope. Coe and Puffer split….Coe takes the left side, Puffer the right~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 125lbs…Annie Alvarez!!!
~The lights go out. We hear what sounds like a golf cart driving to the ring in the darkness. There is a CRASH! A fan screams in pain. The ‘beep, beep’ of a cart going in reverse is heard. It quiets. The cart moving forward noise continues. It stops…there is movement around the ring. “beep, beep” sounds again before quieting. The noise of a cart going up the ramp is heard. Then another loud CRASH. The lights come ON and Scott Syren is magically standing in the middle of the ring. Smoke rises to the ceiling at the side of the ramp, near the top. Liiljungleman hops onto the ramp and gallops to the ring area. As he does, we see a fan with a badly broken leg being taken care of near an area where the barricade is dented, badly. Syren is no longer dressed as Brianna…instead, he’s dressed as himself~
Belvedere: And, her opponent…from a place on Earth…he stands the height he’s always stood and his weight, give or take five pounds, remains virtually the same…ladies and gentlemen, the OCW Hall of Famer himself….Scott Syren!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: My condolences and well wishes to that injured fan.
Hood: I love Syren, always saving us from those elongated ring entrances.
Smith: That was the longest entrance of the entire evening, Hood. It took almost ten minutes.
Hood: Well yea because that fan had to slip on a banana peel and break his leg. What a fuckin retard.
~Annie reaches through the ropes and she grabs the sign from Puffer, asking Syren to join. She holds it up in Syren’s face. Syren grabs the sign and rips it in half. Annie, looking nervous, walks around Syren for Coe. She grabs Coe’s sign and holds it up for Syren to see. Again, Syren rips the sign down the middle. Annie is jittery…she tries talking to the former OCW Champion. Syren, still wearing shades for some reason, looks down at her. He’s got a great poker face~
Smith: This might have been a huge mistake on Annie’s part. I don’t think Syren is going to join anybody’s group.
Hood: Didn’t he call her Crotch Rot once? Like back in the day?
Smith: Sounds like something he’d say
Hood: He’d better be careful then…rot spreads.
~The crowd reacts as the injured fan is on his feet, about to be helped to the back. But that’s not why the fans are reacting. CURT CANON, a former OCW Champion…a former OCW LightWeight Champion…a former OCW Tag Team Champion, appears behind the fan with a ticket in his hand. He extends his arms, appreciating the reception. The crowd chants “CANON! CANON!” He takes a bow and then rotates, as he does, he knocks the injured fan over the barricade, to the ground, near the ramp way. Medics frantically hop the barricade to tend to the continuously injured fan~
Smith: It’s Curt Canon!!!
Hood: Ole DareDevil himself! It looks like a ticket opened up at the last second…what a fortuitous turn of events!
Smith: I guess…one man’s loss, another man’s gain kinda thing…so he’ll be sitting in that fan’s seat apparently.
Hood: Good, I didn’t like that fan. I noticed him earlier and he was drinking sparkling water.
~Annie hurries to the ropes and points at Canon - the man who was mowing Syren’s yard earlier in the week and, probably had been doing so for years without Syren knowing. Syren turns and looks, spotting his once rival turned ally. A “Hall of Fame” chant begins. Syren removes his shades to reveal another pair of shades. But they are different shades. They are kinder shades. He nods along with the cheers and reaches up, bending the ear nearest to Annie with his index and middle finger~
Smith: Well, he’s bending his ear to Annie now. I think he’s willing to listen.
Hood: Yea, that or his ear itches.
Smith: He does have quite the connection with Curt Canon
Hood: Who doesn’t like Curt Canon? He’s like Liljungleman…only without all the weird mannerisms and jungle background.
~Annie grabs a mic~
Annie Alvarez: Scott, listen to me. There’s no need to fight against one another…we need to fight together. I told you my deal, I gave you the details. Join with me and help me fight the true enemy.
~Canon hops the guard rail. In doing so he lands on the broken leg of the fan. The fan ululates something fierce. Canon is all smiles, glad to be back in the OCW spotlight. He rushes to the ring and slides in. Annie offers him her mic~
Curt Canon: I don’t know about this true enemy stuff. But you know how I’ve always wanted to be in the Hall of Fame. C’mon, buddy.
~”DO IT! DO IT!” chants fill the arena. Syren reaches out and he pats Canon on the back. Annie motions toward Coe. He hands her documentation through the ropes. She yanks the mic from Canon~
Annie Alvarez: You see? Right here? I’ve already had the name switched from Brianna Casablancas to Curt Canon. And…I altered the win allotment to show you’re one win away from sealing the deal.
~Curt Canon’s eyes bulge. He jerks the mic from Annie~
Curt Canon: Holy shit, this is really happening. I might actually get into the OCW Hall of Fame. Man…you have GOT TO say yes! C’mon!
~Annie pulls the mic back~
Annie Alvarez: Here, I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll lay down and you can pin me.
~”PIN HER! PIN HER!” says the crowd. Scott kind of smiles…but then frowns upon realizing it’s Annie Alvarez…arguably the biggest whore in OCW history. She gets on her back and motions for Syren to get on top of her. Syren shakes his head, ‘No’. The crowd boos. Canon frowns. He starts to do the depressed Charlie Brown walk toward the ropes. That is, until Syren touches his shoulder. Liljungleman hops onto the apron and tosses Syren a bag that was under the ring~
Smith: I can’t take much more of this
Hood: This is momentous! Curt Canon is going to get into the Hall of Fame…that is…if Syren can stomach getting on top of Annie Alvarez.
Smith: He’s pinned worse, I assure you.
Hood: Oh, so you’re all up in his sex life, are you?
Smith: I’m talking about in the ring, you idiot.
~Syren opens the bag and pulls out a wig of shoulder length brown hair. He puts it on. He then puts on a blue vest, along with several other accoutrements. Eventually he is dressed like a giant, roided up Curt Canon!!! The crowd goes wild!! Canon jumps up and down and pumps his fist. Syren nods and walks over to Annie. He shakes her hand! The crowd chants, “YES! YES! YES!” Annie pulls the mic from Curt’s overexcited hand and speaks~
Annie Alvarez: The man upstairs will be SO excited!
~Annie starts to lay down, but Syren declines. He points toward the ropes. Annie hops through the ropes and stands outside the ring. Curt sits on the top turnbuckle, watching as an avid spectator with a great seat. Syren grabs GRUFF, who happens to be officiating his first match of 2017, and orders him to count~
1!
2!
3!
Smith: It appears this is going to happen
Hood: About damn time
4!
5!
Smith: Nice to see Gruff getting some work
Hood: Yea, brother kind of got shafted in match quality but, hey, at least he’s out there
6!
7!
Smith: Any hope that Annie might slide back into the ring? Or, that, I don’t know…MANAGEMENT might stop this?
Hood: Doubtful
8!
9!
Smith: One second away and Curt Canon will be a hall of famer…speak now or forever hold your peace…anybody? ANYbody?? ANYBODY?!
Hood: HEEEEERE WE GO!
10!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~The bell rings and the crowd goes wild. Syren begins to celebrate as though he really were Canon. Canon celebrates as though he were really Canon…which totally works because he IS Curt Canon. Annie puts her arm around Puffer and reaches, instinctively to put her other arm around Coe. Unfortunately, it’s Liljungleman. She shrieks and he hops onto the apron and scurries into the ring. Coe steps into frame and she puts her arm around him. The trio enter. Syren and Canon cease the celebration. Syren, Canon, and Liljungleman stand facing Coe, Puffer, and Annie. In one seamless motion they all shake hands. They raise each other’s arms high in the air as a group, signifying unity~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...and, as a result, has earned Curt Canon an official slot into the OCW Hall of Fame...SCOTT SYREN!!!!!
Smith: Well…that’s a thing that happened. Curt Canon is now a member of the Hall of Fame.
Hood: Dude, a former OCW Champion…a former OCW LightWeight Champion…a former OCW Tag Team Champion…a member of B.U.F.F. AND Operation Zero…you act like he’s some Scoot Time or Richard. Curt Canon is the fucking man and an influential member of OCW history. He was the first man to ever defeat Lurrr…huge shit, yo.
Smith: Alright, fine…I guess it isn’t THAT bad…it’s just the entire charade. But who is this man upstairs?
Hood: Definitely a higher power. Annie must have found God over the past decade. That explains her coming out here in pants rather than that school girl’s skirt she used to rock.
Smith: Some how I don't think that's it...anyway, enough with the comic relief or whatever that was. Let's head backstage
~We cut backstage where PerZag is standing in front of EE. EE has his cell phone out and is listening to the ringing of an outgoing call. Zag has his arms folded and is looking down, angrily at the on site GM. EE laughs nervously with Barry Man is Low keeping a close watch~
Eastern European: Parzip, you now worry, okay? I get Welsh on phone and we take care of this right away!
~The other line picks up~
Marcus Welsh: What.
Eastern European: Mr. Welsh, so happy to be making you an acquaintance this night. I have the ParZip and he want to know about his rematch.
Marcus Welsh: Parsnip? What are you talking about?
~Zag rolls his eyes and pushes EE out of the way~
PerZag: It's PerZag. Listen, I thought we had an understanding. I was robbed. You even said so in our private conversations. You promised me a rematch and now I see I'm passed over for MJ Bell? I need an explanation.
Marcus Welsh: PerZag, you know as well as I do that MJ Bell was signed specifically to headline this event. Granting her a shot at the OCW Title she never lost was always a part of the deal.
PerZag: So put me in that match. Make it a triple threat.
Marcus Welsh: I can't do that. The ink is already dry. MJ Bell and Alice Knight is happening on March 20th. Why don't you focus on the Savage Title?
PerZag: With all due respect to Mack O'Connor, the Savage Title, all the past Savage Champions and my opponents tonight...I'd rather have the OCW Title shot you promised me.
Marcus Welsh: Look man, I'm really busy, okay? As far as I know you have a match to prepare for. So, let's just leave it at this. You will get an OCW Title shot after Like There's No Tomorrow. You will be the very next in line for a shot at the OCW Title...nobody else is going to cut in front of you. It doesn't matter who wins...MJ Bell or Alice Knight...you, PerZag will be the number one contender after March 20th...okay?
~PerZag kind of rolls his eyes, feeling like he's getting the run around. EE quietly claps in the corner, waiting to see if it catches on. It doesn't, so he puts his hands in his pockets~
PerZag: I want that in writing before March 20th or I might be forced to consider my career options outside of OCW.
Marcus Welsh: Absolutely, no later than Friday.
~PerZag exits. There is a long silence~
Marcus Welsh: PerZag? Are you still there?
Eastern European: He leave. It's me now!
Marcus Welsh: Oh geezus
~We hear a loud click as Welsh hangs up on EE. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Huge news!! PerZag is getting his OCW Title rematch AFTER Like There's No Tomorrow
Hood: That is well deserved, I have to say. I thought he should have won a few weeks ago and if it hadn't been for Grenier and whatever the fuck is going on with him...PerZag would have won.
Smith: Alice Knight earned that win. I'm tired of hearing people say she didn't. She's the true OCW champion whether people want to admit it or not...it's a fact. Having said that...I can't think of a better number one contender behind MJ Bell than PerZag.
Hood: So we sort of agree...I just wrote my answer down whereas you did long division for some fucked up reason
Smith: Always show your work, Hood. Well folks, it's time for our next match as Dare Clemmens, the freshly crowned Ascension Champion takes on the struggling, former OCW Champion Bob Grenier
Hood: Bob needs this one, man.
Smith: Indeed he does...down to ringside!
Bob Grenier (3-2) vs. Dare Clemmens (2-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following is a Non-Title match scheduled for one fall
~Smart Went Crazy begins echoes throughout the arena and Bob Grenier makes his way out to a nice ovation. He’s not quite himself. His jovial demeanor around the fans is missing. There’s a lot on his mind after the past few weeks. About half way down the aisle he stops and looks up and throws both hands in the air in tribute to his deceased relatives. He looks directly into the OCW camera and slides under the bottom rope. The fans continue to cheer as he sits on the top turnbuckle silently awaiting his opponent~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs…Bob Grenier!!!
~There's a short sputter and hiss as a needle touches down on a record. Shortly after that the sound of "Suburbia" by Kavinsky starts to blare out of the PA system~
~It's rough and scratchy, like a bad girl's muff, but it gets the fans up off their asses as Dare Clemmens, with his OCW Ascension Title, steps out from the entrance. Oh yeah, he's wearing those sunglasses he makes look so good, a black leather jacket and a t-shirt that reads quite plainly, "Stolen."~
~He makes his way down towards the ring as the fans hoot and holler. Right behind him is none other than Tony Chu. You're damn right. It's Tony Chu. The two make it to the ring where Dare takes off his jacket, his Ascension Title, and sunglasses and hands them off to Tony. Tony looks mildly offended for a moment before handing Dare's belongings off to a ring hand. Dare slides into the ring and pops up to his feet. This guy is serious business or completely ready to die a terrible death. The fans are excited to find out. Dare removes his t-shirt much to the pleasure of the female fans. He balls it up and tosses it into the crowd~
~That's right, he's built like he's etched out of stone and has just the right amount of chest hair. His smile, oh my, it's a devilish one. Those eyes? You wanna get you some. Male or female. You're questioning your sexuality. The music stops and Dare goes to his corner, ready to kill or get killed. Tony goes to his corner, quietly crossing his fingers, hoping he doesn't have to bury another client soon~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri…standing 6’0 feet tall and weighing in at 190lbs…he is the OCW Ascension Champion….Dare Clemmens!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Interesting matchup…you’ve got one career that, as much as I hate to say it, appears to be trending downward and another career that’s on an incredible upswing.
Hood: Yea, Dare is like the stock market after we won World War 2, I’d imagine. I mean I wasn’t there or anything but it seems to make sense.
Smith: Victory over Japan day? That memorable photo always gives me the warm and fuzzies
Hood: Victory over Japan Day? Dude I don’t remember learning about no Japanese War.
Smith: Never mind…finish the analogy
Hood: Whereas Bob Grenier is like the stock market on September 12th, 200…
Smith: I’ll just stop you right there
~Grenier remains atop the turnbuckles. Dare motions for him to get down in a slightly cocky fashion. Grenier shakes his head and points at Dare. Grenier is grizzled. Dare is pretty. They come from completely different worlds. Grenier shakes his head and yells, “Is this what OCW has become?” He hops onto the mat and shakes his head. Dare smirks and extends his hand. Grenier looks at the hand with disdain. The fans chant “Shake his hand!” Grenier is reluctant, he really doesn’t want to shake this pretty boy’s hand~
Smith: C’mon, Bob…shake his hand!
Hood: Don’t do it, Bob…he probably moisturizes!
Smith: And so what if he does?
Hood: I don’t shake hands with men who moisturize. Nor do I wear flip flops around men who get pedicures.
Smith: Sounds like you’ve got some personal issues there, Hood
~Grenier finally consents. He reaches out and shakes Dare’s hand. The crowd cheers. Grenier then pulls Dare close and head butts him! Dare staggers back, holding the bottom of his forehead. Grenier shrugs to the slightly upset crowd. He then charges in at Dare. He knees Dare, sending him flying into the corner. Grenier knees him again and again until Dare is heaving for air~
Smith: I’m not sure how much I respect that move by Bob Grenier
Hood: I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a shit
Smith: He could have broken Dare’s nose…and we’re less than two weeks away from Like There’s No Tomorrow!
Hood: Oh boo hoo…a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to survive. Grenier needs this win.
~Grenier whips Dare out of the corner. Dare flies across the ring and slams into the opposite corner. Grenier charges in and squashes Dare with a splash!! Grenier tosses Dare out of the corner, Dare falls to his knees. Grenier hops onto the middle rope and he jumps off with a leg drop across the back of Dare’s neck!! The fans are mixed in their reaction. Tony Chu looks on with slight nerves~
Smith: Dare did defeat the OCW veteran Caution…but Caution is not near the competitor Bob Grenier is.
Hood: I think Grenier lost those matches on purpose so he could get Dare Clemmens
Smith: Why on Earth would he do that?
Hood: To beat the pretty right out of that boy. We need champions like Grenier and Bifford…none of this pretty boy shit.
~Grenier yanks Dare to his feet and hurls him, roughly into the nearest corner. He delivers forearms into the chest/chin area, sending Dare reeling. He’s really laying them in. Grenier then steps back holds up his hand and slices through Dare with a resounding knife edged chop!! Even Tony Chu half grimaces from the impact. Dare’s mouth opens wide as he leans over, clutching his chest in pain. Grenier hurls him out of the corner. Dare tumbles toward the center of the ring, still holding onto his chest~
Smith: Grenier seems determined tonight
Hood: Yes this is a lesson on how to fight like a man!
Smith: Dare Clemmens is a man, just of the new aged variety
Hood: I bet the guy probably has fifteen different types of hair gel.
Smith: I’ve seen Bob Grenier with styled hair...so your argument is irrelevant.
Hood: Not really, I watched Bob style his hair the night of Clash at the Coast. He used EGGS. Like a real man…not that Axe bullshit.
~Grenier confidently walks and stands over Dare. He pulls Dare to his feet. He positions Dare for a powerbomb. Grenier lifts Dare up…Dare hops over Grenier’s head and lands on his feet. He runs into the ropes. Grenier turns around and nearly decapitates Dare with a huge lariat!!! Dare turns inside out and is left lying on his stomach as a few fans start to get behind the former OCW Champion~
Smith: People seem to forget, despite his recent struggles, that Bob Grenier is one of the most decorated wrestlers in company history.
Hood: I didn’t forget…his name is ROBERT GRENIER
Smith: Oh geez, not this again…we KNOW his name
Hood: Well you were saying people had forgotten…just trying to learn ya something there
~Grenier pokes his foot around Dare’s head with a frown. He doesn’t seem impressed. He lifts Dare up by grabbing a handful of that thick hair. He tosses Dare over the top rope and turns around, hamming for the camera. Dare lands on the apron. He collects himself. Grenier turns around and Dare leaps onto the top rope and leaps off with a cross body!!! Dare gets to his feet, quickly with a slight grimace. He shakes off the pain and sprints into the ropes. A somewhat bewildered Grenier gets to his feet. He turns and finds Dare. He goes for a second lariat as Dare shoots off the ropes…Dare ducks…he hits the opposite set of ropes, bounces off and drills Grenier with Make a Bitch (High Impact Gore)!! Grenier falls to the mat hard and lands near the bottom rope. He rolls out, instinctively before Dare can go for the cover. Dare gets to his knees and shakes his head, frustrated he wasn’t able to hit that in the middle of the ring~
Smith: I think Dare believes he would have scored the pin had Grenier not been so close to the ropes.
Hood: What are you talking about? That wasn’t a move…that was Dare begging for mercy. He dove at Grenier’s feet yelling “Please Mr. Grenier, no more!”
Smith: That was a high impact Gore, Hood. One of Dare’s signature moves
Hood: No way…if it wasn’t Dare begging then I’d say it was probably a spear
Smith: A gore is a spear, Hood
Hood: What? Seriously? So, like if I’m at a sandwich shop I could ask the person for an extra pickle gore?
Smith: It’s not quite that ubiquitous
~Bob is slow to his feet. Dare returns to his. Bob stumbles into the barricade and leans sideways, clutching his abs. He turns and steps toward the ring. Dare leaps over the top rope, wraps his legs around Bob’s head while on the way down and tosses him, head first into the barricade!!! Bob hits hard as the high pitched squeals emanate from the female attendees. Dare gets to his feet as Tony Chu appears far more comfortable than before~
Smith: Wow, tremendous athleticism by Dare!
Hood: Geezus…I don’t know what would be worse at a boy band concert…the fucking music or those squeals.
Smith: I can tell you from experience that it’s the squeals. The music is pretty catchy.
Hood: You went to an NSYNC concert, didn’t you?
Smith: Backstreet Boys
Hood: Wow and you admitted it on air…that’s, well, that’s some kind of something
~Dare gets up tilting his neck to the side. He’s wincing slightly as the impact took its toll one him. Grenier is slouched forward, with his head wedged between the floor and the bottom part of the barricade. Dare throws a vicious soccer style kick into Bob’s gut! Bob rolls over onto his back. Dare stomps away on Bob as Scruff finally starts counting~
Smith: People forget that Dare Clemmens has a wide range of striking skills
Hood: I didn’t forget
Smith: Really? That’s great, man
Hood: I just never bothered to learn it
Smith: Oh
~Dare pulls Grenier to his feet and hurls him back into the ring. Dare slides in under the bottom rope and mounts Bob. He starts to pound away at the head of Grenier…Grenier puts his arms up, trying to protect. Dare grabs his arms and quickly transitions into a Triangle Choke!! Grenier gasps for air as he reaches around, trying to find the ropes~
Smith: This could be over…Dare is going to choke the life out of Grenier!
Hood: The life? Are we about to see our first murder in OCW of 2017?
Smith: I certainly hope not! I’m not a fan of murder during pro wrestling shows
Hood: Oh but you’re cool with them out on the street, during funerals…say…has anybody ever DIED at a funeral?
Smith: I’d hate to think so….talk about a tragedy
Hood: Not really, I mean you’re already there…just toss the guy into the ground, cover him up. Saves time and money…frugality, my man
Smith: I’ll keep that in mind for when you die
Hood: I’m not dying before you, mother fucker
~Grenier’s face reddens…his arms grow heavy. He doesn’t have much longer. Dare’s jaw tightens, his face has a serious look to it, he’s working to end the match by choking the former champion out. Suddenly, Dare’s eyes widen. He yells at Scruff. Scruff shrugs. Dare nods in Grenier’s direction. Scruff doesn’t see anything. Dare holds onto Grenier’s head with one hand and tries elbowing it with the other. He slaps it…finally, Dare legs go and crawls away, holding the inside of his leg. Grenier rolls over, onto his back, breathing heavily. Dare grabs his inner leg, rubbing it as though he were trying to alleviate some pain~
Smith: What the heck?
Hood: Did Dare submit?
Smith: No, Dare did not submit while holding onto a Triangle Choke moron
Hood: Maybe he was feeling bad for Bob. Saw the egg ins his hair and thought about his two losses and just decided to give him this one
Smith: That did not happen
~Dare gets to his feet and he points at his leg and yells at Scruff. The always helpful Scruff shrugs once more. Dare shakes his head in frustration. Grenier sneaks up and low blows Dare!! Scruff doesn’t see it because…Scruff. Dare falls to his knee, bent over at the waist~
Smith: I think I know what happened
Hood: Well we all saw that…Grenier racked Dare
Smith: No, not that…I think Grenier BIT Dare on the leg to get out of that Triangle Choke
Hood: Well, he is Canadian…maybe that’s how Canadian bacon is made. Stuff is weird, ya know
Smith: It’s ham
~Dare rolls over, clutching his crotch in pain. Scruff finally investigates. Grenier points to the sky. Scruff looks and Greiner SMACKS Dare right in the crotch! Dare’s eyes widen as he rolls onto his front, kicking his legs in pain. Grenier gets to his feet and pats Scruff on the back as though he admires the man. Scruff feels loved. Grenier hooks Dare around the waist…he hoists him up, just about on his shoulder before dropping him with an Atomic Drop!! Dare stumbles into a nearby corner and staggers out. Grenier goes back to back with Dare, lifts him up and drills him in the center of the ring with a Fall Away Slam. Instead of going for a pin he plays to the crowd…signaling for the Hollinger Park Hangman~
Smith: What a shift! Dare was in total control…then Bob started biting and low blowing…now he’s got a shot to win this.
Hood: He just slapped him right in the dick!
Smith: Yes, he calls that…WITH affection The Hot-Box
Hood: I’m not sure how I feel about that name, honestly
~Grenier pulls Dare to his feet. Dare pushes Bob away and goes for Shoot to Thrill!! Bob side steps it and punches Dare in the face! Dare staggers to his right. Bob turns Dare around, facing him. He hooks a front chancery…Dare shoves Bob away and throws a second Shoot to Thrill…Bob catches the leg and yells at Dare. Dare lifts his free leg off the mat and Inziguris Grenier in the side of the head! Bob staggers around…Dare gets to his feet, he scoops Bob up and drops him with an Inverted Brainbuster (Eat a Dick)!!! Bob is flat on his back as Dare goes for the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd…mostly the female portion, as usual…and a few Smith look-a-likes…leap to their feet and scream for Dare~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…The OCW Ascension Champion…DARE CLEMMENS!!!!!
Smith: Wow! What a sequence…Dare Clemmens is the real deal, Hood!
Hood: Bob bit Dare…he gave Dare a few low blows…but he came up short. Maybe he should have raked the eyes
Smith: I think Bob Grenier has some serious self-reflecting to do…he’s lost three in a row now…and, not to take anything away from Dare, Rebel or Alice Knight…but we all know he’s better than that.
Hood: Maybe not…maybe all those big wins were against people who had the Flu or SARS
Smith: Do you really think our medical team would clear someone with SARS to compete?
Hood: Hell yes
Smith: Yea, you’re probably right…dumb question. Regardless…Dare continues to show off and prove he’s one of the top competitors in OCW. Now he gets to sit and wait to see who he will face on March 20th at Like There’s No Tomorrow.
Hood: Ahh, yes…the epic clash between Chad Vargas, Mack O’Connor and Treat Cassidy
Smith: what are you talking about? Do you even READ these lineup sheets? It’s Max Shade taking on Robbie Rayder and Iggy Hardy in a triple threat match to face Dare
Hood: Shit sounds intense
Smith: For two thirds of that equation…let’s hope not. Well, the ring is cleared out so I guess that means it's time for our next match...
~Slow Me Down, by Devin Towsend plays out into the arena, as the fans cheer wildly, after a moment, Rebel emerges from the Curtain with a huge smile on his face, he raises his arms to raise the excitement in the arena. He makes his way to the ring, not in any hurry, before eventually climbing into the ring, he calls for a microphone, and waits while the fans continue cheering, after a few moments, he raises the mic to his mouth~
Rebel: It's always a pleasure to come out here every week, performing for you, the fans in the OCW arena.
~The fans cheer themselves~
Rebel: It has been an exciting time, these last few weeks, showing you, the fans, what I am capable of, we've had wins, a loss, and another big win against one of the World Title competitors from a couple of weeks ago. Chances to gain contendership for the Savage championship, which, due to opportunistic tactics by a certain competitor, I lost, even though I dominated Morbidus for most of that match.
~The fans are booing now, chanting Emerald Sucks, and other, less savoury words~
Rebel: But you know, through it all, the win over Bob Grenier, I got another chance, at something, potentially, bigger than all that. Tonight, I got the chance to win, a championship. The Incredible chance, to win the Paradigm Championship, from a guy we all know and hate, The Incredible Yawn, One, well, whatever he wants to call himself.
~The booing intensifies at the mention of his name~
Rebel: This is the guy who says he's the reason you tune in every week, says without him here, OCW would be nothing. Here's a guy who will admit, freely, that a silly little thing like, I don't know, actually competing, is beneath him, that when there's a corner to be cut, he'll gladly cut it and that he does so because he deserves it. He says he deserves special treatment, deserves to be all but handed a championship.
~More booing, an "Incredible Yawn" chant begins around the arena, Rebel looks around, grinning as it continues, he waves his microphone as if conducting an orchestra, the chants get louder, and louder~
Rebel: Well see, now I definitely don't care what he calls himself, you've all got a new name for this jackass. I don't need to tell you, I'm looking forward to this match, looking forward to getting Mr Entertainment in the ring, and showing him all the respect he deserves.
~The fans seem confused~
Rebel: Oh, don't worry, by that, I mean none. The Incredible One is going to be found out tonight, in a glorious fashion, I've no doubt he'll put up a fight, probably cut corners, but none of that is going to matter a damn, because right at the end of the night, in the Main Event.
~There are more cheers for the mention of the match~
Rebel: In the Main Event, for the Paradigm Championship, there can be only one winner, one champion, the winner, and new Paradigm Champion, Rebel. The champ is, no, that's just so much cheese. Listen up Incredible, because I'll say this only once. Tonight is the night you learn how to eat your words, tonight is the night your two week vacation comes back to bite you on the ass, Tonight, Snoozemaster, is the night your championship comes to a deserving champion. The Rebel Has Spoken.
~Rebel throws the mic to the ground and begins to leave the ring, the fans cheering waiting to hear his music but start to boo immediately as "Lean Back" by Fat Joe comes on the speaker system instead. Rebel is halfway through the ropes as he stops to look up the ramp, watching OCW Paradigm Champion, the Incredible One, emerge from the back with his bodyguard Knux not far behind him. He has a wide smirk on his face as the fans start to chant "Incredible Yawn" again, causing his smirk to leave and pure rage begin to form. His cheerful attitude is all gone as he orders a stage hand to give him a microphone. TIO grabs the microphone and starts motioning for his music to die, screaming into the mic~
The Incredible One: YOU ALL BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL GET YOU ALL KICKED OUT OF THIS DAMN ARENA!
~The crowd boo heavily, as TIO adjusts himself and his championship belt around his waist. He catches his composure, before drawing his attention to Rebel who is in the ring, finding the whole thing amusing~
TIO: Look at you Rebel, coming to the ring to say a few words! I'm proud of you man. Must've taken a lot reassurance and courage to make your way down to the ring to spew all that nonsense you just did. Do you want to know why Rebel these fans are cheering for you? It's not because they like you... it's not because you deserve it... no, it's to give you hope. Hope that you might squeeze a win out tonight but it's not going to happen. I am, after all, Mister Incredible. The man that speaks the TRUTH! The truth is Rebel you think manhandling Morbidus for ten or so minutes and beating Bob Grenier qualifies you to be in the main event with me tonight but the reality is you should've been focused on Drew Stevenson. IF you had done that, you might be standing there the Savage Champion and we wouldn't be having this conversation. But the fact we are means you fucked up Rebel and I'm going to destroy you to an inch of your life tonight. Now, because I am a nice, fair, man, I'm going to let you say a final few words before our match later tonight. Think them over carefully... might be the last words you ever say.
~TIO roars with laughter as the crowd boos more. Rebel looks around at the crowd, a grin forming on his face, he laughs along with The Incredible One, mocking~
Rebel: A funny man, ladies and gentlemen, isn't he? How nice, how fair, of you to allow someone a word. Should I be awestruck by your mere presence? You know, Incredible, you made a couple of good points, the point was, had I been paying attention to Stevenson at the moment he struck, yeah, maybe I'd be the Savage champion by now, maybe not, and you know, that would have been something to be proud of, but it wasn't to be, the wrestling gods chose to let that one pass me by two weeks ago, and chose instead to throw me in the ring with Bob Grenier, and after a hard fought match I won.
~The fans cheer, again, an "Incredible Yawn" chant starts up, TIO again starts looking enraged, Rebel is enjoying himself now~
Rebel: The other thing you mentioned, was that I wasn't doing much more than fighting my matches, not really making my presence felt elsewhere on the show, you were right about that too.
~TIO has a smug look crossing his face~
Rebel: But you know, those words got me to thinking, thinking that maybe it was about time I changed that, so here I am, in the ring, telling it like it is. However, for all the right things you said, there's a hell of a lot of wrong. First off, Yawn.
~TIO is incensed~
~The fans start to cheer again, their new chant rising, TIO waves his arms at the crowd to get them to stop~
Rebel: You see, Incredible, if they didn't like me, if I didn't deserve their support, well, they wouldn't be shouting this...
~The chants of "Incredible Yawn" are all anyone can hear around the arena, Rebel smiles, and gestures for TIO to respond~
Rebel: Polite conversation right? I'm sure you've more to say.
~The "Incredible Yawn" chants intensify to the point that the arena is practically shaking. TIO starts throwing stage equipment around down at the bottom of the ramp and Knux comes by to calm the champion down. Rebel is in the ring laughing as Knux yells at him. TIO breathes in a sequence, calming himself down before rolling into the ring. He takes off his Paradigm Championship and shows it to Rebel~
TIO: You see this belt? Yeah, I had the chance to have it handed to me. If you were given that chance, I bet you my entire fortune you'd say yes. Who would turn down a free title? No one would... but the truth is, it didn't end up that way. I had to beat Chad Vargas in a brutal ladder match. You saw what I did to Vargas then... maybe you saw what happened to Vargas at the beginning of the show? He's out for the night. I also won that title before the Aptitude showed up. You know, you're not the only person who, at every chance they get, rib me for the way I conduct my business. My business is my FUCKING BUSINESS!
~That last sentence, spit flew from TIO's mouth and landed on Rebel's head. The smile left his face, as he slowly wiped it away, while continuing to listen to his opponent~
TIO: You are all fucking jealous! The illegal immigrants of Key West are jealous, and the locker room is jealous and most certainly right now, YOU, are jealous! Jealous of the fact that I've busted my ass of for years and years to get to where I am RIGHT NOW! You envy being me! You all want to be me! You want to be the blue chipper of OCW, the one that management is behind. You want to have an amazing contract, you want the title handed to you. I can tell everyone was angry when the Eastern European was going to hand me this title but all I could hear was the resentfulness of not being picked!
~TIO stops for a moment to catch his breath, breathing heavily. The crowd continues to jeer, as Rebel goes to speak but TIO cuts him off~
TIO: I'm not fucking done. You laughed earlier at the fact that these people pay to see me. It's the truth... but let me elaborate. It's no secret that I have absolutely zero respect for these losers. Whether it's here in Key West or up the coast in Atlantic City, all I care about is me, myself and I. So when these people pay to come see me, it isn't to ACTUALLY see me, it's to see punks like you get in over your head to try and kick the shit out of me. They want to see me go down, they wanna see me bleed... RIGHT?!
~The crowd ROARS with a thunderous cheer, agreeing with that statement~
TIO: But it never happens. It never fucking happens, Rebel. Chad Vargas couldn't back up his words... and neither will you.
~Rebel feigns a yawn right in the face of TIO~
Rebel: There you go again, I almost fell asleep right here in the ring.
~The fans start to laugh, Rebel is also laughing a little, TIO is barely containing his rage~
Rebel: But later on tonight, when we close off the show, the only person who will be laying on their back, will be The Incredibly Boring One. Lets be real here for a moment, if you're capable of that. I'm not jealous of you, in fact, I almost feel sorry for you, almost, because, you see, for all your bluster, for all your arrogance, we both know, you've never won the big one here, never been the World Champion, and that must eat away at you. I haven't either, but I've been here a far shorter time than you.
~TIO looks a little confused as to where this is going~
Rebel: So for all the attempts to cut corners, to gain glory without earning it, nobody has thought to put that belt around your waist, so here you stand, Paradigm Champion, shouting about how everybody is jealous, so utterly deluded by the measure of success you think you've had. I don't feel any concern over the upcoming match, because I know, deep down, I can beat you tonight, you know it too.
~The fans are cheering loudly~
Rebel: If they paid to see somebody kick your ass, Incredible, well I suppose I'd better give them their moneys worth. I'll see you later Snoozemaster, bring your belt, bring your friends, it doesn't matter, because that...
~He points to the title~
Rebel: Is coming home with me tonight. Enjoy your last moments with it, take a bunch of selfies, or whatever it is you do, because, as short as you've had that championship, you're long overdue to lose it.
~Rebel drops the microphone again and rolls out of the ring, as he passes Knux, he puts a hand out for a fist bump, Knux growls at him, he throws his hands up, mockingly as he backs up the ramp. Knux and TIO argue over the sound of Rebel's music as we cut backstage~
Smith: Rebel is fired up! I think he took some of TIO's comments earlier this week to heart.
Hood: I'm digging this side of Rebel. Guy seems like he could really challenge TIO...hopefully he gets a shot
Smith: Hood, they are facing each other tonight in the main event
Hood: OH...I thought you were kidding. Sheesh, alright then...cool! I'm looking forward to that one!
Smith: Unbelievable...well TIO and Knux have left the ring...we've got everything settled
Hood: Backstage?
Smith: Nope, it's time for our next match and...is it a doozy. Alice Knight, our OCW Champion, has to decide what's more important...friendship or fortune.
Hood: FORTUNE...but seeing as it's Alice Knight, she'll probably opt for door 3...food.
Smith: Let's head down to ringside!
Alice Knight (5-0) vs. The Dravers Boys (2-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a Handicap Match scheduled for one fall. If the Dravers Boys are victorious they will receive a rematch against The Aptitude for the OCW Tag Team Titles at Like There’s No Tomorrow!! Introducing first…
~”Circus For A Psycho” plays to amped - up cheers as Jonathan and Nathan emerge from the curtain amping up the crowd further. They sing along to his theme, slapping the hands of fans along the way. They leap into the ring, onto separate turnbuckles while continuing to sing their theme and smiling cocky, but friendly.~
Belvedere: From Denver, Colorado…weighing in at a combined 400lbs … Jonathan and Nathan … The Dravers Boys!!!
Hood: Jonathan and Nathan have had some problems the last week since losing the OCW Tag Team Titles to The Aptitude.
Smith: You can say that again. A lot of arguing between The Dravers Boys in the beginning of the week all because they lost the tag team titles.
Hood: Yeah Nathan has been seeing ghost and even when to a shrink.
Smith: This has to be a difficult match for them as they are facing their good friend Alice Knight.
Hood: Yeah they even went as far to ask Alice to lay down for them so they could get a rematch on Like There’s No Tomorrow against The Aptitude.
~ “Electrified" by Dressy Bessy begins to play as the fans turn and cheer. Alice Knight steps out on top of the ramp with the OCW Title over her shoulder. The fans go crazy! “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” fills the arena. Alice smiles and kind of shrugs as though it’s no big deal…her face is a little puffy, but overall in solid shape…she makes her way to the ring carrying a bubbly demeanor. She enters into the ring and kind of skips around for no apparent reason. She rushes the ropes and heads to the middle turnbuckle she hoists the title high above her head to a tremendous ovation. Jonathan and Nathan stands back, talking to each other.~
Belvedere: And their opponent, from Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is the CURRENT OCW CHAMPION….ALICE KNIGHT!!!
Hood: I am kind of shocked that Alice Knight would ask CJ to cost MJ Bell a match earlier tonight.
Smith: There is no proof of that.
Hood: Didn’t you see the picnic they had the other night it was like Alice was undressing CJ with her eyes like he was a piece of meat.
Smith: I thought Alice had her guard up as she is now a hunted person being OCW Champion and all.
Hood: It is easy to win a title but twice as hard to retain it.
Smith: Yes it is. I thought CJ would be out supporting his woman.
Hood: I wonder what TIO and Meyhu think about all the attention CJ is giving to Alice.
Smith: If I was a beating man I am sure TIO is going to call him out on it real soon.
~ Jonathan and Nathan look at one another deciding who will start the match first as Knight stretches in the corner a bit. As Jonathan steps out onto the apron the bell rings with Alice hooting and the fans hoot back to her. Nathan extends his hand and Alice shakes it before the lock up. Nathan uses his size and back up Alice into the corner. As the referee asks for a clean break and Nathan obliges. ~
Hood: If the Dravers Boys want a shot on March 20th they are going to have to stop worrying about their friendship with Alice and get violent.
Smith: I think what is stop them is that they know their younger sister, Alex, is at home watching this match.
Hood: Yeah she is a seven year old and will forgive them. Plus wouldn’t the Dravers want their sister to look up to them and not someone else.
~ Nathan nails Knight with a boot and a Snap Suplex on the OCW Champion. He makes his way back to his feet as soon as possible and waits for Knight. As Knight stands, she is greeted with and elbow to the head and then a bulldog.~
Smith: Nathan is immediately going to work here on Knight in this one…
Hood: Maybe the Dravers Boys do have a mean side.
~ Nathan throws his arm over Knight and makes the cover… ~
1!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Well if they want a rematch for the Tag Team Titles they just lost they better bring there A game tonight.
~ Nathan hops up and bring Knight with him. He shoves Knight's head into the turnbuckle time after time and tags out to his brother, Jonathan. Jonathan goes up top as Nathan pulls Knight away from the turnbuckle. Jonathan jumps and drills Knight upside the head with a double axe handle. ~
Smith: Quick tags will only help the Dravers Boys tonight.
Hood: Yeah you kind of have to wonder does Alice feel pity for the boys after they got dismantled last Massacre.
~ Jonathan quickly picks Knight up and whips her into the ropes. On the comeback, Jonathan attempts a clothesline but Knight ducks it! As she bounces off the ropes, as Knight comes back at Jonathan, she drills Jonathan with a dropkick to the knee… ~
Smith: Dropkick to the knee by the OCW Champ and ALICE JUST ROCKED JONATHAN WITH A HUGE DDT!LISTEN TO THIS CROWD ERRUPT!!!
~ The crowd is on their feet as Jonathan's skull bounces off the mat from that DDT. Wasting no time, Alice picks Jonathan up and drills him with a series of stinging knife edge chops before placing him up against the ropes. Jonathan is quickly taken for a ride by the OCW Champion and, as Jonathan comes back, he is met with a huge lariat from Alice. With Jonathan down, Alice quickly exits the ring and begins to climb to the top ropes … ~
Smith: Knight’s going to fly... She just nailed Jonathan with a beautiful frog splash and here's the pin!"
1!
2!!
~However, Nathan comes into the ring and stomps at the back of the head of Alice to break up the cover. As Gruff is making sure Nathan goes back to his corner Knight picks Jonathan up and immediately sends a stiff kick into Jonathan's left leg. As Jonathan holds his leg in pain, Knight grabs the opportunity by bouncing off the ropes and DRILLING Jonathan with a beautiful scissor kick to the back of the neck.~
Smith: Seems like Alice has found a little momentum in this handicap match.
Hood:If I was Knight I would try to end this as quick as possible because sooner or later stamina will be her biggest fight.
~ Still in control, Knight grabs Jonathan and places him back on his feet. After nailing him with a vicious knife edge chop, Knight once again whips Jonathan into the ropes. However, this time Jonathan just brushes away a dropkick by Alice Knight and, when Knight gets back up, she is nearly leveled by a lariat from Jonathan.~
Smith: WHOA! Jonathan just got back into this match and Alice Knight paid dearly for it!
Hood: Maybe Alice should have accepted the offer from CJ earlier on in the week.
Smith: I really don’t know if you can trust someone like CJ. He has a reputation for using people and then just throwing them to the curb.
Hood: Ever hear the saying keep your friends close but your enemies even closer.
~ Jonathan immediately makes the tag to Nathan who instantly goes to the top rope. As Knight stumbles to her feet, Nathan flies off the top rope with a beautiful missile dropkick to Knight's back and, in the process, makes it look easy. With Knight down, Nathan quickly bounces himself off the ropes and drives a lightning quick leg-drop across Knight's throat before going for the pin… ~
1!
2!!
SHOULDER UP
Smith: Nathan almost had Knight on that one. It was just that close.
Hood: Alice better take it up a notch if she plans on getting some momentum going into her big match against MJ Bell.
~ Now in control of the match, Nathan picks Knight up and proceeds to drive a European uppercut into her face in order to stun the OCW Champion. With Knight stunned, Nathan grabs him and gives him another snap suplex right across the middle of the ring. As you get a split screen you see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell watching on a monitor in the back and he looks a bit concerned as Alice is holding her back. ~
Smith: Nathan can throw a mean snap suplex on you. I've never seen one that quick and that stiff before.
Hood: CJ might need to come down here and save Alice soon as it doesn’t look good.
Smith: Looks like CJ is a man of his word and is not going to show up unless shit hits the fan.
Hood: And as far as Nathan goes he is second in my book on the art of a snap suplex.
Smith: Yea...who's first?
Hood: Everyone else is tied.
~ As you go back to action in ringside you see Nathan still in control of the match. Nathan picks Alice back up and sends her darting into the ropes. Somehow, though, Knight regains her composure and jumps over the ropes and to the apron… ~
Smith: Knight’s on the apron and she's taunting Nathan! OOH!!!
~ Nathan just rushed in at Knight and got caught with a hotshot right across the ring ropes! Knight is now back in the match as she drops Nathan right across the ring ropes and pulls him to the outside. With Gruff starting his count, Knight picks Nathan up and sends him flying into the steel ring post and, as Nathan stumbles back, Alice pushes him back into the ring post for round two…~
Smith: Nathan just got a double taste of some cold hard steel in that one!
Hood: That wouldn't be his first time or his last…
~ This time, Knight grabs Nathan and tosses him back into the ring. Once Alice gets back in, she picks Nathan up and tosses him into the ropes. On the comeback, Nathan's world is rocked as Alice plants a swinging neck breaker on Nathan. Jonathan looks concerned on the outside of the ring and begins to hit the top turnbuckle to cheer on his twin brother. ~
1!
2!!
LEGDROP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF ALICE BY JONATHAN!!!
Smith: It seems like this week the Dravers Boys are working better as a team than last week.
Hood: They do have a two on one advantage - you know?
~ As Alice gets up she dropkicks Jonathan down to the mat and begins to stomp away at the chest area of him. Gruff interjects himself between Knight and Jonathan as Alice just stares down at Jonathan. ~
Smith: That is a different side of Alice that we have never seen before.
Hood: I guess she was tired of getting kicked in the back of the head.
Smith: Or maybe CJ has gotten inside the head of Alice.
~ As Gruff watches Jonathan go to the outside of the ring Alice picks Nathan up and rocks him with a thunderous forearm shot to the face. With Nathan stunned, Alice grabs him and begins to powerbomb her opponent, Nathan somehow manages to lift his legs up and… ~
Smith: FLIP OVER DDT BY NATHAN!
Hood: Yeah he just pulled that one out of his ass.
~ The crowd is rocking as Alice falls to the mat clutching her head. Jonathan is now extending his hand as far as he can for Nathan who is crawling to his corner with all his might. He finally reaches the corner and, as Jonathan is tagged in. Jonathan, working on complete intensity, grabs Alice up and clocks her with a stiff forearm across the face before whipping Alice into the ropes. On the comeback, Jonathan punts Alice in the heart with a kick before grabbing her by the hair, jumping up, and planting Knight with a huge facebuster. From there, Jonathan goes for the pin… ~
1!
2!!
Kick Out!!!
Hood: There's the kickout. Alice is the OCW Champion it is going to take a lot more than that to put her away.
Smith: If you ask me she looks a little tired.
Hood: Or maybe she is just playing possum.
~ Jonathan, still intense and fired up, is now drilling Alice with stiff kicks to the ribs and midsection as he is still down on the mat. Jonathan, apparently done with that onslaught, now brings Alice to her feet where he … ~
Smith: I don't believe it! Jonathan has Alice up for a tombstone piledriver…
~As Jonathan is about to plant Alice with the tombstone, Knight begins to kick her legs vigorously until she somehow reverses it and drives Jonathan into the mat with a tombstone piledriver of her own. Alice definitely exhausted places her arm over the chest of Jonathan. ~
1!
2!!
NATHAN DROPS AN ELBOW DROP TO THE BACK OF ALICE’S NECK.
Smith: Again the Dravers are focusing on that neck area of Alice.
Hood: I must admit I am impressed the Dravers haven't thrown in the towel yet.
~ Both competitors now get up at the same time and, when they do, they go chest to chest with each other. Jonathan attempts to club Alice with another fist but Alice blocks it and rocks Jonathan with one of her own. Alice quickly pushes Jonathan into the ropes and, as he comes back, Jonathan is sent high into the air with a big back body drop from Alice… ~
Smith: The tides have turned once again in this match.
Hood: Knight showing everyone why she is the OCW Champion right now.
Smith: She has that never say die type of attitude.
~ As Jonathan lies on the mat, Knight manages to make her way to the ropes and begins to pull herself up. As the fans begin hooting getting behind the OCW Champion. She begins her climb to the top ropes as Nathan goes running over to the corner she is climbing. Alice is on the top ropes and is about to fly when Nathan drives a fist into the kidney’s. Alice doubles over in pain as Nathan begins to climb up as well climbs to the top rope and … ~
Smith: SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPES.
Hood: And Alice’s head slammed off that mat hard.
~ The camera gives you another split screen view as Gruff is checking on all the competitors inside the ring. Backstage you see CJ O’Donnell in the back still watching the monitor but he is pacing back and forth. Out of the corner of the screen you see a steel chair connect with the face of CJ knocking him out cold. As you view out you see the #1 Contender for the OCW Title, MJ Bell standing there with a chair in her hand. CJ sits up and gets sent right back down as MJ cracks him with another shot with the steel chair. ~
Smith: And it looks like MJ Bell just got revenge on The Distinguished.
Hood: Yeah something tells me this is just the beginning of a very heated war between The Clientele and The Aptitude.
~ Back ringside you see Jonathan place his left arm across the chest of Alice as Gruff gets in position for the count … ~
1!
2!!
KNIGHT GOT A SHOULDER UP~
Smith: THIS ONE IS STILL GOING ON FOLKS!!!
Hood: Guess Alice wants to prove she has the heart of a champion.
~ Nathan is sitting in the corner and just shakes his head no as Jonathan is making sure it was only a two count. Jonathan now brings Alice to the turnbuckle corner where… ~
Smith: Jonathan grabs Alice by her hair pulling her into him … TORNADO DDT!
Hood: Got to wonder if Alice has a concussion with all those shots to her head and neck area.
1!
2!!
KICK OUT!!
~ Jonathan yells at Nathan to stand up as the Dravers Boys goes in opposite corners of the ring. Alice is in the center of the ring starting to stir. Alice stands up as both Dravers come out of the corner looking to connect with Seeing Double but out of the corner of her eye Alice must have seen it as she drops to the mat. Nathan stops midway through the superkick but Jonathan continues and connects with a superkick to the face of Jonathan. ~
Hood: HAHAHA That was great thinking by the champion.
Smith: That was completely inadvertent there. Jonathan didn’t realize Alice was on the mat.
~ As Jonathan puts his hands on his head he can not believe he just superkicked his own brother. Knight is back on her feet and Jonathan turns around into a kick to the gut followed by The Apache. As Jonathan’s head slams off the mat Alice immediately covers him hooking the far leg. ~
1!
2!!
3!!!
~ As Knight rolls off Jonathan and Scruff raises her hand in victory. Knight clutching the back of her neck as she winces a bit in pain. ~
Belvedere: The winner of this match … your OCW CHAMPION … ALICE KNIGHT!!!
~ As Jonathan and Nathan are both on the outside of the ring they start to argue with one another as they are walking up the entrance ramp. As Alice gets handed the OCW Title all of a sudden … ~
Smith: That’s MJ Bell that just jumped over the guardrail.
Hood: And I don’t think Alice sees her.
~ As MJ Bell sneaks inside the ring by sliding underneath the bottom ropes and quickly gets up to her feet. MJ makes a beeline for Alice and clothesline her down to the mat as she begins to put the boots to Alice. ~
Smith: It looks like we don't have to wait to March 20th.
Hood: This is the second time MJ has attacked Alice from behind.
Smith: I guess she is upset that she wasn't awarded the OCW Title when she came back after all she never do official lose it.
~ As Bell takes a few steps back she is just stalking Knight who is still motionless on the mat. As it looks like MJ is about to hit The Burning Mage the crowd erupts into a mixed reaction as CJ O’Donnell comes running down the aisleway. Before Bell connects with her finisher she notices that The Distinguished is getting closer and she slides underneath the bottom ropes on the opposite side of the ring. ~
Smith: And CJ keeping his word that he had Alice’s back.
Hood: Well MJ did get in a few kicks and a stiff lariat.
Smith: It could have been much worse for Alice.
~ CJ stares at Bell on the outside of the ring before he goes over to check on Alice. As The Distinguished begins to help Alice up to her feet when … ~
Smith: OHMYGOD Alice just backhanded CJ.
Hood: The question is now does CJ retaliate.
Smith: If he CJ means what he says about Alice. He won’t. It was an accident she probably thought it was MJ still on the attack.
~ As O’Donnell is seen rubbing the side of his face as Knight turns around and sees that it is CJ. Alice goes to walk to him as you can read CJ lips and he says it was a mistake. MJ Bell is seen walking up the ramp with a smirk on her face. She motions around her waist that the belt will be there soon as Alice stands on the middle turnbuckle and just points to Bell. O’Donnell picks up the OCW Title and walks towards Alice. Knight jumps down off the second turnbuckle and CJ hands her the title before he raises her hand to the delight of the Owlheads in the arena. ~
Hood: I thought for sure CJ was going to deck Alice with the OCW Title.
Smith: Seems to me like CJ is trying to gain the trust of Alice but their has to be a reason behind it.
Hood: One has to wonder if this new love interest of CJ is going to affect his relationship between TIO and Meyhu.
Smith: That is very possible. We know the history between TIO and Alice and they can not stand one another. Folks we've got all kinds of stuff to sort through out here...so let's head backstage!
~Backstage, Dr. Orange is holding an ice pack to his head. Nearby, trainers are putting the finishing touches on Max Shade's wrist tape. Dr. Orange is scowling at Max~
DR. ORANGE: Now Max, you know I never tell you how to do your job-
This gets an eye roll from Max that Dr. Orange doesn't acknowledge.
DR. ORANGE: -so consider this as me asking you for a favor, okay? I get that there's a lot on the line for this match, very important opportunity for the Ascension championship. I also get that there's three of you in this match. Got a lot riding on this, absolutely. But Iggy Hardy... Excuse me, Iggy FUCKBOY... Needs to be taught a lesson about putting his hands on his betters. And it's not just for me, okay Max? It's an important life lesson. He needs to learn his place.
~Max has a solemn, determined look on his face. Dr. Orange approaches his client and gets eye level with him~
DR. ORANGE: Be his teacher for me, Max. Make an example of him. No mercy. Are we clear?
~Max grunts and nods his head. Dr. Orange looks at his bag of ice and then at one of the trainers~
DR. ORANGE: Keep this cold for me. I'm heading out there with Max. I want ringside seats, so I can see with my own eyes the moment Iggy realizes how unwise it is to cross Dr. Jon Orange. Glorious. Can't wait.
~Max stands up suddenly, grabs a bottle of water, and dumps it all over his head, before heading out the door. Dr. Orange watches his client exit, grins a little, and nods his head~
DR. ORANGE: Looks like ol' Max is as excited as I am. Excellent. Let the bloodshed commence!
~We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Dr Orange is out for blood
Hood: Blood oranges are delicious
Smith: FOCUS, man! Iggy assaulted Dr Orange earlier this evening and now the relentlessly determined Dr Orange desires payback in the form of Max Shade teaching Iggy Hardy a painful lesson
Hood: Iggy Fuckboy you mean
Smith: No, that is NOT catching on, I'm sorry
Hood: Oh, you just watch
Smith: Ugh...let's head down to ringside as Dare Clemmens is about to discover who he will face on March 20th at Like There's No Tomorrow.
OCW Ascension #1 Contenders Match
Iggy Hardy (1-1) vs. Max Shade (1-0) vs. Robbie ‘Aire’ Rayder (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is a triple threat scheduled for one fall. The winner will receive an Ascension Title shot against Dare Clemmens at Like There’s No Tomorrow on Monday, March 20th!!!
~”Top of the World” by Van Halen begins playing. The crowd goes wild as IGGY HARDY emerges from behind the curtain. He’s far from intense. He’s smiling and high fiving fans. He hustles down to ringside and slides in under the bottom rope. Several “IGGY!” chants break out as he waves, appreciating the fanfare~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Hawk’s Bluff, North Carolina…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 230lbs…Iggy Hardy!!!
~The lights dim as a red siren light circles the arena. 'Indestructible' by Disturbed plays as Robbie Rayder, weighing his ring attire and color matching cape, walks out and kneels down. He points his index fingers to the ceiling then lowers them to point at the ring. Rayder looks out at the crowd as he walks half way down towards the ring, then pulling the cape off from his neck. He slides into the ring, front flips up, drops to a knee and points to the ceiling again, then lowers his index fingers to point at Iggy. Luckily, Iggy doesn’t take offense to this gesture and remains UN-intense~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Vancouver, British Columbia…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 195lbs…Robbie ‘Aire’ Rayder!!!
~"Never Take Me Out" by Demigodz hits. Dr. Jon Orange emerges with a smile of approval. Max Shade appears soon thereafter. Dr. Orange pats him on the shoulder and mumbles something about “Corner Hug Smash.” Shade scowls but nods after a few seconds. Dr. Orange heads down the ramp way with Shade right behind. Orange points toward the ring…Shade moves in a manner that says “Yes, I know where the ring is.” Iggy looks at Shade with a smile. Rayder backs into his corner, taking stock of the two behemoths he’s got to get through. Orange heads for the announce table. Shade enters into the ring and nearly trips over the middle rope. He stables himself and finds a corner~
Belvedere: And, the third participant…from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 285lbs…he is represented by Dr. Jon Orange…Max Shade!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: I think this might be the most anticipated match of the evening. Three of OCW’s top young prospects.
Dr. Orange: Excuse me.
Smith: Oh, hey, Dr. Orange!
Dr. Orange: Hello, you.
Hood: It’s a fucking honor, man!
Dr. Orange: Yes, well I know. I thought it might be beneficial to the company if I sat down and helped call this match.
Smith: Okay.
Dr. Orange: We really need to check those ropes. They appear to be defective.
Hood: I will notify somebody right away!
~Iggy marches over to Rayder and corners him. Rayder, like a threatened animal, braces for attack. Iggy pats him on the shoulder while saying, “Good luck to you, sir.” Iggy turns and heads over toward Shade. Shade doesn’t back away. He stands upright and confident. He looks down at Iggy with very little fear in his eyes. Iggy double pats Shade on the chest, one hand on each peck. Iggy looks up and says, “And good luck to you, sir.” Iggy walks away, toward his corner~
Smith: I guess this is eager Iggy Hardy?
Dr. Orange: Smith, hand me your wallet.
Smith: Wha…why?
Hood: Just do it, Smith!
Smith: Okay…hey, what are you doing? Why are you taking a five out of there?
Dr. Orange: Why don’t you carry any ones? A man should always have his fair share of ones. Your wallet is cheap. Knock off leather.
Smith: Could you at least give me an explanation.
Dr. Orange: Royalties. I was promised royalties for that DVD.
Smith: But…I bought the DVD. This doesn’t make any sense…
Hood: Shut your mouth, Smith. Dr. Orange knows what he’s doing.
~Shade keeps an eye on Iggy as anyone would given the man’s bipolar like shift in attitudes. Rayder sprints across the ring, seeing an opportunity. He delivers a dropkick into Shade’s chest!! Shade stumbles into the corner behind him. Rayder kips up and takes a few steps back, he charges in with a flying forward to the chin of Shade. Shade shakes his head, trying to loosen the pain. Iggy finally turns around and sees what’s happening. He looks impressed by Rayder~
Dr. Orange: That man should be disqualified. He is attacking Max before the bell.
Smith: The bell already rang.
Dr. Orange: No it didn’t.
Hood: Dr Orange, I hate to tell you, but it did.
Dr. Orange: Hmm. Well it wasn’t loud enough. That bell is low grade.
Hood: I’ve been saying that for years.
~Rayder hops onto the middle rope and throws punches into the near bald head of Shade. Shade continues to endure the punishment. He finally reaches up and grabs Rayder by the hips and shoves him off. Rayder flies into the center of the ring, but lands in a one kneed position. He springs out and goes back after Shade. Shade stands upright but is met with a knee to the chin!!! Shade stumbles back into the corner~
Smith: I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I think Rayder sees Shade as an easier obstacle than Iggy Hardy
Dr. Orange: This is illegal wrestling. Illegal.
Hood: Dr. Orange might be onto something. Iggy and Robbie could be in cahoots, Smith. I mean Iggy did shake Robbie’s hand first.
Dr. Orange: Valid point, Hood. Clear favoritism. We might need to call for an investigation.
Smith: Mid-match??
Dr. Orange: During competition is the best time for a loose investigation. It shakes things up. Catches them off guard. Unveils the truth.
Smith: Loose investigations don’t do anything other than distract people.
Hood: You’re a loose investigation!
Dr. Orange: Are you? We might need to investigate that as well.
~Rayder throws a sharp elbow into the side of Shade’s face. Iggy walks up behind Rayder, impressed with his offense. He reaches over to give Rayder a friendly pat on the back. However, seeing as it’s, ya know, a wrestling match. Rayder instinctively pulls back and drills Hardy in the chin with an elbow. Everything stops. Hardy rubs the afflicted portion of his chin. His eyes bulge. His veins pop. He’s getting…INTENSE. He lunges for Rayder. Rayder drops to the mat and slides out from under the bottom rope. Hardy LEAPS over the top rope, landing onto his feet. He chases Rayder around the ring~
Smith: Annnd…it’s begun.
Dr. Orange: Great energy. I have great energy. I'm a man of great energy.
Hood: What about Robbie Rayder?
Dr. Orange: Running scared. Reminds me of everyone I do business with. Running scared, can’t handle my energy.
Smith: I’d call it self-preservation. If Robbie Rayder can somehow get Max and Iggy tangled…that might aid him in winning this match.
Hood: Gawd that’s such a SMITH thing to say…fucking pussy.
Dr. Orange: Should I reach out and grab him?
Smith: No sir, you’ve done enough. I’m now five dollars lighter for NO reason.
~In the shock of all shocks, Hardy seems to be gaining ground on Rayder. He senses the INTENSITY creeping up behind him. Rayder locates an and unoccupied chair. He picks it up turns around, using it to block Iggy. Iggy stops. His eyes are wide. He yells “DON’T MAKE ME GET INTENSE” most would say it’s too late. Rayder throws the chair at Iggy. He catches it and bends it in half. Rayder’s eyes widen as he slides into the ring. Iggy goes after him. Iggy slides in under the bottom rope and Shade comes from out of our view and performs a splash onto the back of Iggy!! He doesn’t get it all as his knees hit awkwardly before his stomach and chest, but it’s enough to slow Iggy down. Rayder exits the ring from the other side and leans against the barricade, breathing heavily…he has a look that says he narrowly averted a very dangerous situation~
Dr. Orange: The ring mat belly crush. Classic move. Has won Max many matches.
Smith: Really? Because where I come from it’s just a splash and a mistimed one, at that.
Dr. Orange: I doubt your credentials. Hood, what would you say?
Hood: Well he definitely tried to crush him with his belly. And, Iggy was on the mat. So I can’t say you were wrong, Doc.
Dr. Orange: Listen more, Smith. You might improve. You might get better at your job.
~Shade awkwardly turns to his feet. He grabs Hardy by his mullet and goes to toss him over the top rope. Shade, however, is too far and Iggy ends up getting clotheslined by the middle rope. He falls to the mat holding his throat. Shade kicks at him until Hardy falls out of the ring. Rayder rushes in and begins to stomp and kick away at Hardy’s body. He turns his back to Hardy and jumps atop the barricade. He leaps off with a moonsault! He nails it. He jumps to his feet and throws his arms in the air. A giant black hand reaches out from between the ropes, grabbing his hair. Shade yanks Rayder onto the apron~
Smith: Rayder is so impressive, athletically.
Dr. Orange: Overrated. I’ve seen kids flip like that into swimming pools. Nothing special.
Hood: Looks like Max is about to kick his ass.
Dr. Orange: It’s only a matter of time. I’m surprised the match isn’t over yet, to be honest.
~Rayder tries to fight Max off, as he gets to his feet. Max clubs Rayder with a forearm into the back. He hooks Rayder for a suplex. Max lifts Rayder into the air bringing him to a near vertical position. Max stumbles and he winds up kind of dropping Rayder with a weird looking DDT. The fans groan as the move looks terrible. Shade sits up as Rayder remains down~
Smith: What was that?!
Dr. Orange: Super flex face plant.
Smith: Huh?
Hood: You heard the man, Smith.
Dr. Orange: A devastating move used on the independent scene. Max won dozens of matches with it.
Smith: Oh yea, name one opponent?
Dr. Orange: The Brawler. Tough man. Nasty guy. Great win for Max.
~Max gets to his feet and stomps on Rayder. It’s a decent enough stomp. Far from flush but it did its job. Something pops up in the background. It’s the INTENSE eyes of Iggy. He looks over the mat and spots Max and Rayder. He LEAPS onto the apron and hurries through the ropes. He rushes up behind Max, lifts him up and drops him with an Atomic Drop!! Max stumbles into the ropes. Iggy then grabs Rayder, hoists him up for a Gorilla Press and tosses him from the middle of the ring over the top rope and all the way to the floor!! Rayder hits hard and lays, motionless!! Iggy screams at the top of his lungs while pumping his fists around. Max turns and watches the man like he’s some kind of crazed animal on exhibit~
Smith: Iggy is intense and on fire!
Hood: Son of a bitch, he just threw Rayder like twenty feet!
Dr. Orange: Kid needs to gain some weight. Puny, scrawny. Not up to standard.
Smith: I think he’s built just fine. Iggy Hardy, when intense, could probably suplex an elephant.
Dr. Orange: I don’t believe he ever super flexed an elephant. Sounds like fake news to me.
~Max walks up and shoves an INTENSE Iggy. Iggy yells out as his eyes get wider. His teeth are glistening with saliva as a bit drips from his gaping mouth. He ROARS at Max and shoves Max back. Max stumbles into the ropes, a bit taken back by the raw strength of Iggy. Undaunted, Max steps up and clubs Iggy in the chest with a forearm. Iggy barely moves. He starts to stomp and jump around the ring, shaking his head. He turns and looks Max in the eye and yells “HIT ME AGAIN MOTHER FUCKER!!” Shade shrugs and kicks Iggy right in the balls. Iggy falls to the mat, holding his groin in pain~
Smith: Wow…quick, efficient kick. That certainly was smooth.
Dr. Orange: If you ask for the bull, you’re going to get the shit.
Smith: I’m not sure that’s how it goes
Hood: Haven’t you learned anything, Smith? These are independent scene sayings and moves. We’re being taught some lessons here, man.
Dr. Orange: This guy, this Hood guy. He’s okay. Willing to learn and listen. Smart man.
~Iggy’s intensity gives way to lower intestinal cramping and pain. Shade hoists Iggy to his feet and then over his head for a press slam. Iggy’s body starts to shift and get all uneven. Shade is having trouble keeping him in position…it has nothing to do with strength…but everything to do with posture. Shade, realizing he’s about to lose his grip on Iggy hurries to the ropes to throw him over…instead he winds up losing control of Iggy and dropping him across the top rope. Iggy’s legs wrap around the top rope as he hangs, tenuously, bouncing around. His legs eventually unravel as he falls to the mat. The fans seem unimpressed~
Smith: That looked dangerous
Hood: Iggy really hates these ropes
Dr. Orange: Tremendous shish kabob drop by Max. A devastating move founded in the Amazon. Punishing. You wouldn’t believe how punishing.
Smith: Well, I guess we would…we just saw it.
~Rayder gets to his feet and turns his head…he sees the body of Iggy. He jumps back into a defensive posture. He then realizes Iggy isn’t intense. He lowers his guard and looks into the ring at a calm, observant Max. Rayder sprints forward, he hops around the steps and slides into the ring to avoid any kind of kick or elbow drop by Shade. He enters safely and meets Shade in the center of the ring~
Smith: This should be interesting…we’ve got a highly skilled wrestler in there against a, well, mammoth.
Dr. Orange: Rayder is no mammoth. He’s small. Short. Bad genetics.
Hood: Yea Smith…you should know better than that.
Smith: I wasn’t talking about Rayder
Hood: Iggy’s no mammoth either…plus, he’s not even in the ring!
~Rayder tenses up and then starts throwing laser quick kicks at the legs of Shade. However, in an unpredictable act of physical competence, Max blocks every single kick. He has an equal and opposite reaction to every one of Rayder’s actions. Rayder continues to kick after each block. He’s determined to make solid contact. He’s sure that Max can’t keep this up. But Max does. The crowd starts to get into it, finding themselves unexpectedly impressed with Max’s footwork. After dozens of attempts, Rayder finally stops and backs away, his chest heaving from the exertion. The crowd claps~
Smith: What the heck?
Hood: It’s like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix when he finally becomes The One or whatever…blocking all those punches.
Dr. Orange: What is he doing? Unimpressive! This can’t stand. He needs some direction.
~Dr. Orange removes his head set and heads to ringside~
Smith: Uhhh, I thought that was the best performance of Shade’s OCW career
Hood: That’s why you are NOT a doctor, Smith.
~Max reaches out and grabs Rayder by the throat. Rayder’s eyes widen. He goes to lift Rayder up but loses his grip on Rayder. Rayder falls to the mat and runs toward the ropes. He bounces off…Max turns around and Rayder goes for a cross body. Max catches him but loses his footing and falls into the ropes. It’s a big messy pile up with Max on his ass and Rayder trying to crawl away. Dr. Orange is in Max’s ear, saying something. Max tries to ignore it~
Smith: Can we get back to more of that kicking?
Hood: What are you talking about? That’s not wrestling…
Smith: Yea, well neither is whatever we just saw
Hood: I’m sure there’s some highly technical independent term for that move…we just need Dr. Orange to enlighten us.
Smith: Yea well he’s busy trying to talk some nonsense into the head of his client.
~Shade gets to his feet and tries to ignore Dr. Orange. Shade grabs Rayder by the lining of his trunks and pulls him to his feet. Rayder goes for a mule kick, but Shade just absorbs it thanks to his giant muscles and large frame. He turns Rayder around and hits him with an open hand. Rayder goes all wobbly. Dr. Orange yells from ringside “Corner Hug SMASH!” Shade shakes his head ‘no’ and looks to be attempting some kind of fucked up submission. Dr. Orange slaps his palms against the apron three times, in repetition while yelling “Corner Hug Smash!” The fans start to get behind it…”Corner! Hug! Smash! Corner! Hug! Smash!” Max rolls his eyes~
Smith: Oh, I see….
Hood: Smith, I think we’re about to witness the famous CORNER HUG SMASH
Smith: Infamous, you mean
Hood: You just have no taste in the fine arts of grappling
~Max wraps his arms around the body of Rayder. He lifts him up, stumbles around and smashes him into the corner!! The crowd goes WILD! “CORNER HUG SMASH!!” Dr. Orange turns to the camera and says “Print them up.” He’s, of course, referring to a new line of OCW t-shirts. The impact from Max’s Corner Hug Smash really riled the fans up. One fan, in particular, got so excited that his Alice Knight owl doll flew from his grip. It soars through the air and hits Iggy in the face. It’s plush and innocuous to every person alive not named Iggy. Iggy’s eyes flash open. The veins in his neck pulse. He leaps to his feet and looks at the front row. “DON’T MAKE ME INTENSE!” The fans all scare and scatter. He rushes toward the barricade and begins ripping it apart~
Smith: Annnnd Iggy’s back
Hood: That’s a good man, right there. He hates these owls just as much as I do.
Smith: I don’t think it’s the owl so much as a random act that set him off. The guy has the consistency of ice cream set out in the sun for a few hours.
Hood: So, a warm milk shake?
Smith: I…I guess
~Iggy rips the barricade in half, right down the middle. He starts to bite into it and spit pieces out. A fan with a frightened child steps forward and says, “Hey man, take it easy. There are kids out here.” To which, Iggy yells, “I WILL FUCK YOUR FACE!” The man backs away and grabs his kid, hurrying off. Shade, not liking what he’s witnessed, heads for the ropes and clumsily climbs through them. He grabs Iggy by the shoulder and spins him around. Iggy stands there, composed for a moment. But his eyes are still wide, his veins still bulged…he’s still very intense. Shade starts to speak. Before he can get a word out, Iggy spits a mouth full of barricade into Shade’s face!! Shade stumbles back and is violently run over by a clothesline!! Shade hits hard. Iggy sprints around the ring and he looks at Dr. Orange. Dr. Orange puts both hands up in an inoffensive gesture. Iggy runs right past him. He continues to lap the ring, numerous times with the fans yelling “IGGY! IGGY!”~
Smith: How is this guy licensed to compete?
Hood: He obviously got intense during the licensing and they just caved to get him the fuck outta there.
Smith: I’ve never felt more unsafe in a work environment.
Hood: I hear ya…that Max Shade, man, he’s dangerous
Smith: I’m talking about Iggy!
~Iggy randomly jumps, flat footed, from the floor to the apron. He somersaults over the top rope and runs after Rayder. Rayder, who is seated in the corner gets an ‘oh shit’ look on his face and darts out of the corner. Iggy turns, chasing after Rayder. Rayder continues to run and run trying to find some alternative means of attack. He finally kicks up on the middle buckle of the nearest corner, kicks off, flips around and drills Iggy in the head with an Inziguri!! Iggy staggers to the side. His eyes lower. His intensity is fading. Rayder gets to his feet and he superkicks Iggy in the chin. Iggy staggers…his eyes lower more. His arms grow weak. He’s teetering. Then, suddenly he screams!! His eyes shoot open and he yells “FUCKKKK IT ALL!!!” He jumps at Rayder, but Rayder meets him in midair and drops him with a codebreaker!!! The crowd hops to their feet in excitement as Rayder quickly pins Iggy~
1!
2!
Kick out!!!!
Smith: Wow! Robbie Rayder almost punched his ticket to Like There’s No Tomorrow!
Hood: Fucking Iggy…could you imagine that guy at a kegger? Holy shit
Smith: It would be wild
Hood: Haha, you have no idea what I’m talking about. The only keg you’ve ever seen is that weirdo wrestler on twitter.
Smith: Hey, I saw School for Elders
Hood: The fuck? Do you mean OLD School?
Smith: You know what, let’s keep the focus on the match, okay?
~Rayder pops back to his feet, quickly. He sprints toward the nearest corner and leaps onto the top turnbuckle. He’s in position for Aire Rayde. Shade stumbles onto the apron near Rayder. He throws an incredibly well placed and effective kick into the side of Rayder’s leg. Rayder loses his balance, falls with his shins hitting the ropes and ends up landing on his head!! His body folds up inside the ring as the fans grimace from the impact. Shade climbs through the ropes and heads toward Rayder~
Smith: Someone needs to check on Robbie…that could have…at the very least sprained a neck.
Hood: I thought that guy was athletic. He didn’t jump further than an inch
Smith: He was kicked off the top, Hood. Robbie Rayder is definitely one of the best athletes on our entire roster.
Hood: Yea, but where does he rank as far as intensity goes?
Smith: Right with everyone else…far beneath Iggy.
~Shade pulls Rayder up and hoists him over his shoulders. Rayder nearly falls off as Shade loses his grip. He reaffirms the grip and is looking to end things. Iggy, on the mat, eyes shut, begins to shake. He yells “AAAAHHHHH!” and rolls over. He does a push up which shoots his body high into the air. He lands on his feet and is INTENSE. He yells and screams at Shade with saliva flying everywhere. Shade drops Rayder. Dr. Orange yells from ringside, “Reckless. Dangerous. Shouldn’t be in a wrestling ring. Show him how it’s done, Max.” Shade’s shoulders heave as he’s getting pretty intense himself. The two stare down in the middle of the ring with the fans going pretty ape shit for this~
Smith: It’s Iggy and Max…who is going to prevail?
Hood: I have to go with Iggy…that man is, well, you know
Smith: Yes, I know
~Shade throws a forearm into Iggy. Iggy retaliates. During the exchange, Shade backs up more than Iggy. They continue blasting one another with forearms. The crowd is really getting into it. Finally, Iggy starts to waver. Max hits him again and again and again…Iggy wobbles until his eyes widen and he screams! He drills Max with forearm after forearm without any from Shade in return. Max wobbles. He’s about to fall over~
Smith: The intensity of Iggy Hardy might be too much for Max Shade to overcome
Hood: I guess that’s our code now for mass amounts of cocaine?
Smith: Until he fails a drug test…we’ve to call it the way he tells it
Hood: Sweet, I guess I should just get drunk on air then. If people ask what’s wrong, I can just say that’s me getting ‘groovy’
Smith: No
~Suddenly, Shade pulls an Iggy. He starts to ‘hulk’ up. Iggy looks around, confused. Iggy hits Shade in the head. Nothing. He hits Shade again, nothing. Iggy reaches back and goes for a tornado like punch…but Shade blocks it!! Shade follows up by drilling Iggy in the head with three straight punches! Iggy is reeling. He backs up against the ropes and Shade shoots him off. Iggy bounces off the opposite ropes and is turned inside out with a Clothesline from Hell!! The crowd sounds impressed by the display of power despite what’s happening to Iggy. Shade stumbles and falls to his knees after delivering the clothesline~
Smith: Max Shade showing he’s got a bit of intensity as well!
Hood: Damn, so that’s two future suspensions
Smith: Don’t be so morose. Max Shade is clean, I think
Hood: In what way? I’m sure he showers. No way Dr. Orange would hang around with a smelly guy.
Smith: You know what way
~Shade picks Iggy up and hoists him over his shoulders. He’s looking to drop him with The Terminator. Iggy yells and screams, he’s still intense. Shade has trouble holding onto him. Rayder is back on his feet…he sees what’s going on. He sprints in and dropkicks Shade in the upper abdomen. Shade stumbles against the ropes and drops Iggy! Iggy falls all the way to the outside, landing awkwardly. He’s not moving~
Smith: Ouch!
Hood: Well, it’s official…Gravity TRUMPS Intensity
Smith: Trumps, huh?
Hood: Yea, you know, bests, beats, demolishes, molests
Smith: Stop it
~Rayder is back to his feet. Shade stumbles near the middle of the ring. Rayder hops onto the middle rope and jumps backwards, corkscrewing in the air. Shade catches him! Barely, but he holds on. He has Rayder over his shoulders and drops him with an RKO!!! The Terminator! He rolls Rayder over and goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the new #1 Contender for the OCW Ascension Title…Dr. Jon Orange’s Client…MAX SHADE!!!!!
Smith: Shade did it…I didn’t think he could, but he pulled it off! He will go on to face Dare Clemmens at Like There’s No Tomorrow!!
Hood: I was half expecting Iggy to pop out of the middle of the ring there
Smith: Dang it, Hood. Now you’ve ruined that…could have happened in a future event as a surprise.
Hood: Psshaw, like people will even remember this…hell I bet half the viewers are fast forwarding right now, just checking to see who wins
Smith: I hope not!
~Dr. Jon Orange is in the ring clapping and signaling to fans. Max is on his feet, breathing heavily. He tries to step in front of Orange but Orange sticks his arm out in a ‘stopping short’ motion, keeping Shade restrained. Orange continues to hog the limelight as Shade looks down and shakes his head~
Smith: This Dr. Orange is something
Hood: He’s showing Max how it’s done. Showing him how to play to the crowd…it’s not every day a manager takes the time out of their busy schedule to go over the little things, Smith.
Smith: Yea, I’m not getting that at all. I think he’s HOGGING the limelight
Hood: You’re just jealous of his name. You probably think he was hired to make fun of MJ Bell don’t you?
Smith: Under the previous regime, maybe. But I don’t think this regime has much of a sense of humor.
Hood: Eastern European?
Smith: Okay, so maybe they have a SLIGHT sense of humor
~Dr Jon Orange begins clapping in a different manner. He holds his arms up and yells 'Iggy Fuck-Boy!' before clapping three times. The crowd, at first seems disinterested. However, Dr Orange is a man of great determination. He does it over and over. He elbows Max. Max gives a few unenthusiastic claps. Finally, the crowd starts to get into it. "Iggy Fuck-Boy! Clap! Clap! Clap!" It grows louder and louder as Dr. Orange gives a thumbs up and says, "Tremendous. Great crowd. Great people."~
Smith: This is just disrespectful...all drug theories aside, Iggy fought a tremendous match and now we have to be subjected to this type of bad sportsmanship? Yuck
Hood: Hey, Owl Is Night sold like a bajiliion shirts...maybe Iggy Fuckboy will be the next best seller and make that weirdo cocaine snorting relic a millionaire...that way he doesn't go all Mickey Rourke one day.
Smith: Stop it
~Shade has exited the ring as Dr. Jon Orange stays back, relishing his not so creative chant that has somehow gone over. Suddenly, a yell is heard from outside the ring. It’s a yell Dr. Jon Orange is familiar with. He stops waving and quickly exits the ring. He pushes Shade along as the two hurry up the ramp. Rayder has been helped out of the ring. Iggy BURSTS through the center of the ring with his arms in the air. The 'Iggy Fuckboy' chant comes to an abrupt end. Iggy yells “FUCK THIS SHIT!!!” OCW security runs down with the tranquilizers and they begin shooting Iggy~
Smith: Well, there’s your through the ring mat pop up
Hood: Seems wasted, to me.
Smith: Well folks while Iggy is subdued and we get a new canvas for the final two matches of the evening…let’s head backstage.
~The fluorescent light fixture flickered overhead as if on cue with Tony Chu’s entry into the men’s washroom. He entered like he owned it, and sniffed the faint scent of urinal cakes and the periodic over-scenting of air-freshener as he stepped in front of the wall length mirror overlooking the sinks and checked his hair in the reflection. He ran the faucet and washed his face and then he heard it. The soft nearly silent whimpering in one of the stalls.~
~It barely registered at first as he went about his ministrations, flicking his wrists into the sink to remove excess water and shut the taps off politely with a hand towel. It sounded like gentle sobbing enough for Tony to crane his ear to listen over his shoulder with a frown. He could hear a voice speaking too softly amid the whimpers. Curiouser, and curiouser. With a voyeuristic smirk on his face Tony spun silently on the heels of his Bruno Magli’s and edged his way next to the closed door of the stall and curiously placed his ear next to it.~
....: Please don’t make do it. Please.
~Tony’s smirk grew almost whimsical at the sound of the soft, pleading mousy voice. And then another voice within the same stall, deeper, and more forceful piques Tony’s interest further.~
…: But you want to do it.
~You want to turn away and leave the washroom because, frankly, it’s not your business. And yet, well, nobody likes to leave in the middle of something without knowing the details.~
…: I can’t. I can’t.
~Tony inspects the floor in front of the stall, ready to get down on all fours to look under the door before it opens in a hurry. Out strides a black hooded figure who rushes towards the sink with his head down. Tony peers inside of the empty stall presented with an even more curious mystery. He peers back at the person huddled over the sink washing his hands nervously.~
Tony Chu: Hey. Who were you talking to?
~Tony spies the hands scrubbing one another in the sink furiously and feels a pang of concern. He steps to the sink next to this poor huddled figure.~
Tony Chu: Are you okay?
~Tony watches the face turn to stare back at him. One of metal with a glint shining off it and lifeless eyes gleaming out of darkness. It's startling.~
Deus: Better now.
~An elbow slams into Tony’s neck unexpectedly. The huddled figure, Deus, rises quickly and with a growl drives Tony facefirst into the mirror with a dull thud and enough force to crack it. Tony falls backwards onto the tiled floor he was previously hesitant touch. Tony winces in breathless pain as the dark figure stands over him looking down.~
Deus: Bad luck.
~Hands are slowly dried as Deus peers down at the struggling Tony whose hand grips the bridge of his nose.~
Deus: You earned it. All 7 years of it.
~And the black-clad shape looming over Tony silently stalks out of the bathroom. We cut back to the announce table~
Hood: What the fuck was that?
Smith: That was Deus...a new signing that will make their in ring debut next week. That was also Tony Chu getting beat up by Deus, apparently
Hood: What, does Tony Chu hate playing Deuces Wild or something?
Smith: I'm willing to wager...no pun intended...that it goes far deeper than that
Hood: Fuck...that Deus thing was weird. If I were Tony Chu I'd stay out of public bathrooms which, I mean we should all try to avoid anyway.
Smith: Kind of hard to do when you're stuck in a public place for several hours
Hood: Mind over matter, Smith
Smith: Right...well we are just getting to know Deus and that story will no doubt be interesting as it continues to unfold...not to mention Tony Chu's involvement which, one could speculate might lead to Dare Clemmens, our Ascension Champion
Hood: Easy! You're no detective...leave all of that to Jack Puffer
Smith: No thank you. Well folks we've got one contender slated...Max Shade will face Dare Clemmens at Like There's No Tomorrow...it's time to find out who will tangle with Mack O'Connor...
Hood: Tangle? For the love...
Smith: I could have gone with Tango
Hood: Tangle is fine, tangle is fine
Smith: So many wrinkles to this match. PerZag, the man many feel should be the OCW Champion has been granted an OCW Title shot after Like There's No Tomorrow. Chad Vargas has the option to skip this match and face the Paradigm Champion at Like There's No Tomorrow. And then there's CJ O'Donnell...one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions and a founding member of The Aptitude. All three men are major players but who will have the focus and determination to earn a shot at Mack O'Connor? Let's find out!
OCW Savage Championship #1 Contenders Match
”The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (1-1) vs. PerZag (3-1) vs. “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a triple threat. The winner of this match will receive a shot at the OCW Savage Championship at Like There’s No Tomorrow. This match will be conducted under Hardcore Rules.
~The lights of the arena go out. All that is seen is a small glow of light from the entrance ramp. ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ by Survivor starts to play over the PA system. A hooded figure walks on to the entrance ramp. The lights come back on as the hooded figure stands still on the stage. The hooded figure walks down to the ring slowly. He gets into the ring and stands in the center of it. He slowly removes the hood and the crowd gives a mixed reaction to him. They want to like him but aren’t happy with his words from one week ago about their beloved champion. 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor stops playing as PerZag walks over to a corner in the ring and crouches down near it~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Benalla, Victoria, Australia…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…PerZag!!!!
~”Kings Never Die” By Eminem begins to play. The crowd boos vociferously as one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions, CJ O’Donnell emerges atop the ramp. The belt is draped, distinguishably over his left shoulder. He takes his time sauntering to the ring. He walks each step meticulously before reaching the apron. He slowly enters and reaches the center of the ring. He displays a look beaming with presence and dignity~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions….”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!!
~There is a stillness inside the arena. O’Donnell hands his title over to an attendant at ringside for safe keeping. PerZag remains in his corner, keeping an eye on 1/3 of The Aptitude. Belvedere remains in the center, his hands folded in front of his lap. People await to see if Chad Vargas will compete~
Smith: Will he or won’t he?
Hood: Oh, I definitely think CJ WILL win…easy question
Smith: No, Chad Vargas…will he compete or won’t he?
Hood: Are you serious? The guy has a guaranteed title shot if he backs out. I mean, he may not be fucking Einstein but even a Confederate Icon can figure that shit out.
Smith: It is a tempting offer…
~The opening chords of Lynyrd Skynyd’s “Needle and the Spoon” controls the sound system as a voice over shouts ‘King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” as “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas emerges onto the ramp, his arms raised in the air. The crowd explodes with cheers!!~
Smith: He’s going to do it!
Hood: What a MORON
Smith: He’s a competitor, Hood. He’s what OCW is all about. Earn your spot, fight for what you want, never back down from a challenge.
Hood: Like I said…MORON
~Vargas takes a few steps forward as orange, blue, and white pyros blast from behind him. Vargas turns, eyes wide as he smirks reveling in his entrance. He slowly struts down the aisle, mouthing obscenities to the crowd on his way by as they boo him. Once he reaches the ring, he slowly climbs up the steal steps and into the ring. Going to the furthest turnbuckle, he climbs up to the second rung, raises his arms in the air, still mouthing obscenities as he jumps down onto the mat, getting ready to lay down his opponent with his infamous country fried ass whoopin~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…”The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: It’s a triple threat after all…one former OCW Champion…one OCW homegrown star and one current champion, big time free agent signing.
Hood: You can just call him Aptitude
Smith: I’d prefer if I kept things strictly on a last name basis. O’Donnell has a huge opportunity here…if he can win this match, tonight…he will successfully defeat two of the top names in OCW.
Hood: If…IF? C’mon, man…isn’t it obvious? This was set up as a show case for Aptitude and CJ O’Donnell
~Vargas doesn’t waste any time. He marches across the ring for O’Donnell. CJ nods and cracks his knuckles. He rushes toward Vargas and puts his fists up. He throws a couple of jabs. Vargas dodges them, finding the situation cumbersome. CJ continues throwing…a few pelt Vargas on the chin. Finally, Vargas has had enough…he just bull rushes CJ and takes him down. He goes for CJ’s eyes and nose. CJ tries to get him off, but Vargas is enraged~
Smith: This is a man pent up with frustration. He lost to The Incredible One three weeks ago in a classic match and hasn’t wrestled since.
Hood: I think he woke up with the epiphany that there just aren’t enough Lance Savage’s in this world
Smith: No, I don’t think so
Hood: We’ll see…he could be in possession of CJ’s eye pretty soon and possession is 9/10’s of the law.
Smith: So he’d be the OWNER of CJ’s eye? Is that what you’re saying?
Hood: I believe so…kind of like that scene in Hot Shots. He can carry it around in a pouch or something
~The angry, scarred hand of PerZag reaches into view, obtaining a generous portion of Chad’s hair. He pulls Chad to his feet and gives him a head butt!! Vargas stumbles into the ropes. Zag lifts a knee into Chad’s gut. He then whips Chad across the ring. CJ hops to his feet and drills Vargas with a dropkick before Vargas can reach Zag!! Vargas falls to the mat holding his face in pain. Zag turns to CJ and chases after him. CJ grabs the top rope and pulls down…Zag flies over the ropes and lands on the outside~
Smith: Fast paced action there…CJ O’Donnell taking advantage of a few opportunities
Hood: He’s distinguished, Smith. He commands respect for a reason.
Smith: I’m not denying his ability. It’s the way he goes about things that I have a strong disapproval toward.
Hood: Yea, well get the fuck over it bitch
~CJ gets after Vargas quickly. He boots Vargas in the gut and pulls him to his feet. He whips Vargas into a corner, Vargas hits hard. CJ charges in and lifts a knee into the chin of Vargas. CJ the backs away and starts to pummel Chad with left and right jabs. AT first, it’s competitive jabbing. After a while, it becomes a mockery as he makes it very clear that he’s enjoying the process. The fans begin to boo~
Smith: The arrogance of CJ O’Donnell…it’s nauseating
Hood: Nah man, that’s just the smell of Benalla. PerZag just walked by, ya know.
Smith: PerZag smells fine, trust me
Hood: What the fuck…so you went up and smelled the guy?
Smith: Uh…NO…I’m just defending his fragrance…ah dang, that sounded horrible
Hood: Sure as shit did
~Zag slides into the ring behind CJ. Zag has a chair in his hand. CJ continues to mock Vargas while peppering him with semi-soft jabs. CRACK!! His back is walloped by a chair shot from the six foot, five inch man from Benalla!! CJ’s arms drop and his legs buckle. He falls to his knees. Zag tosses the chair aside and grabs CJ by the hair, pulling him to his feet. He bends CJ back and drops him with an inverted DDT!! ~
Smith: PerZag letting out some of that aggression he’s pent up since his loss a few weeks ago!
Hood: He needs to let it out on Alice Knight or Bob Grenier…they are the ones that fucked him over…not CJ…man, hitting a Distinguished man in the back with a chair…such a Benalla thing to do
Smith: Oh, you’ve been to Benalla?
Hood: No but I can tell by looking at the word that a bunch of crazy people live there.
~ Zag grabs CJ and yanks the backside of his hair. CJ’s eyes are half open as PerZag’s heavily contrasted wide eyes stare into them, maniacally. He violently turns and hurls CJ over the top rope. CJ hits hard and remains on the ground as the fans go wild. Vargas stands upright, out of the corner, still slightly shaken. He points at Zag and motions for Zag to ‘bring it’…as much as I hate to use that phrase. Zag nods and the fans go crazy remembering the battles these two OCW icons have had in the past~
Smith: Got to love this moment…PerZag and Chad Vargas are two of the greatest competitors of this new OCW era and…probably of all time.
Hood: Is CJ O’Donnell okay? Somebody go and check on him…we need to get this match back on track
Smith: What are you talking about? We’ve got two potential hall of famers in the ring…it doesn’t get any better than this!
Hood: They are good…but they’ve get to pass The Aptitude…until then, I look at them as like the minor leagues…ya know, like that baseball team Michael Jordan played for
Smith: That reference is pretty aged, Hood
~Zag locks up with Vargas, bullying him into the nearby corner. Chad climbs the ropes while still locked up with Zag. He reaches the middle rope…he tries to knee Zag in the face, but Zag blocks it. In doing so, he lets go of the lock up. Vargas goes for a sunset flip. Zag holds on and turns around, looking for an Alabama Slam in the middle of the ring. He sends Vargas over, but Vargas grabs onto Zag’s head and drops him with a DDT!! Zag’s head hits hard as he remains face down. Vargas took a bit of a rough fall, so he sits up and rotates both shoulders~
Smith: Impressive reversal by The Confederate Icon!
Hood: Not nearly as impressive as CJ O’Donnell!
Smith: Huh?
Hood: He’s on his feet, check him out.
Smith: You mean to tell me you’re not watching the IN-RING action?
Hood: Nah, why would I? That’s like watching commercials.
~Vargas gets to his feet and he steps on Zag’s back as he walks over him. He then hustles toward the ropes. He leaps onto the middle rope, looking for a moon sault, perhaps. O’Donnell is out there. He grabs the bottom rope and kicks up with a semi-Pele style kick into the head of Vargas!! Vargas lets go and falls onto his back, inside the ring. CJ lands on his feet, thanks to the rope. He climbs onto the apron and ascends to the top buckle. He leaps off and drills an elbow into the chest of Vargas. CJ pops to his feet to a chorus of boos~
Smith: Well, CJ is back in control
Hood: What a distinguished kick that was.
Smith: Looked like a regular old kick to me
Hood: And that elbow…have you ever seen such a distinguished elbow before?
Smith: Hood…it was an elbow. We see them almost every week
Hood: Yea, but this one was distinguished.
~O’Donnell goes after Zag. He grabs PerZag by the hair and lifts him up. He chops his chest a few times, sending the man from Benalla backing into the ropes. CJ then goes to whip him off the ropes, across the ring…Zag hooks his arms across the top rope. CJ chops him again and again. Zag’s grip loosens. CJ then clotheslines Zag over the top rope and to the outside. He grips the top rope and, for a minute, thinks about clearing it…but he feels the apron vibrate. He turns and sees Vargas returning to his feet~
Smith: The danger of triple threats…you have to be aware of both opponents at all times
Hood: Unless you’re Alice fucking Knight…then you can just casually nap through the first half of the match
Smith: That’s not how it went down, Hood
Hood: Oh sure it did…trust me, I was there.
~He hooks Vargas in a front face lock. Vargas powers to his feet. His unexplained HATRED for CJ is fuelding his drive. He lifts CJ in the air and spins around, trying to toss him. CJ holds on, though and drills Vargas with a Tornado DDT!! Vargas slides near the corner, holding onto his neck. Zag slides into the ring, quickly. CJ gets to his feet and turns around, he eats a superkick!! CJ is flattened, lying on his back. The fans begins to chant for PerZag~
Smith: The man who some felt was robbed a few weeks ago…he’s looking sharp as ever.
Hood: PerZag is the man. He was fucking robbed…have you seen Grenier lately? I think even…
Smith: I know, I know…you’re going to say something ridiculous like Who’Re pinned him
Hood: Oh no, she pins everybody, bro. She’s a fucking whore
~Zag hoists CJ up over his shoulder as though he’s going for a running powerslam. He backs up against the ropes and stares across the ring. He sprints and hurls CJ over the ropes from his shoulder, like he’s throwing a big, irish spear. CJ flies through the air and SLAMS into the barricade!! It dents and bends as the crowd around jumps out of the way. The fans go crazy cheering for PerZag as CJ finds himself on his back, motionless against the barricade~
Smith: I’ve never seen that before
Hood: Those damn Australians…first they have that weird pouch and now they are trying to kill the most talented members of our roster.
Smith: Only kangaroos have that pouch, Hood.
Hood: Are you calling PerZag a kangaroo?
Smith: Of course not!
~Zag goes after Vargas now. Vargas is a bit dazed but not in the dire shape CJ seems to be in. Zag lifts Vargas up and sets him atop the top turnbuckle. Zag climbs up there. Vargas jams a thumb into Zag’s eye. He shoves Zag down. He looks and sees CJ up against the barricade. Vargas hops over the top rope and to the floor. He reaches over the barricade and grabs a chair. As he does, the crowd boos…Vargas looks around like “what the fuck?”~
Smith: Vargas seems thrown off by the booing
Hood: Drew Stevenson is having an impact! They are pissed that he’s grabbing a weapon!
Smith: If that’s the case then I have to say that I am stunned
~We quickly realize the boos aren’t directed at Vargas. Instead, they are pointed in the direction of TIO. He’s walking down the ramp with his Paradigm Title over his shoulder. He reaches CJ and crouches, checking on his stablemate. Vargas looks across the ring and scowls. He mouths “That mother fucker” and becomes a man on a mission~
Smith: Get him out of here! He’s got a main event he needs to focus on! I’m sick of these Aptitude people thinking they can do whatever they want!
Hood: Well, umm, Meyhu did. And, well, CJ kinda did…and, well, umm, now TIO is doing what he wants so…ya know, if the rubber fits
Smith: Can’t you just use the proper idiom…if the SHOE fits…the SHOE…not the glove, and darn sure not the rubber.
Hood: Hey, I may be a lot of things, but I’m no idiom.
~Vargas is about to turn the corner where TIO is tending to CJ. He gets crushed in the head by a kick from Zag!! Vargas staggers, dropping the chair. Zag hops through the ropes and hooks Vargas...he lifts him up and drills him into the folded chair with a Rock Bottom!! Vargas kicks and arches his back in pain. Zag grabs the chair and hoists it into the air for the fans to see. They go wild~
Smith: And here we go…it’s about to get violent
Hood: Do you think Drew Stevenson…if, ya know, he had been named The Ruby at birth might enjoy violence more?
Smith: He wasn’t NAMED The Emerald at birth you idiot…it’s a nickname.
Hood: Oh…okay, whatever…still…if he were The Ruby…what do you think? Would he be more sadistic?
Smith: That is an asinine question that I will not entertain with an answer.
Hood: I’ll take that as a definitely, maybe.
~Zag waits for Vargas to get to his feet. Vargas grabs onto the cloth hanging from the apron and uses it to stand. Zag swings with the chair. Vargas moves and the chair slams into the apron!! Zag lets go of it with one hand. He winces in pain and shakes his hand. Vargas turns around and throws a punch at Zag! He rips the chair away and drives it into Zag’s gut!! He then cracks it over Zag’s back!! Zag falls to his knees…Vargas then swings the chair like a bat and hits Zag upside the back of his head! Zag falls forward and is out. Vargas leans against the apron, catching his breath as the crowd goes wild~
Smith: Violent act from a desperate man…Chad Vargas does not want to lose this match.
Hood: Yea and he just whipped the Australian worse than we whipped that angry, mustachioed Australian back in World War 2.
Smith: What on Earth are you talking about?
Hood: Hey, you’re not going to make me look stupid here. I do enjoy World War 2 history and I know for a fact that Adolf Hitler was born in Australia.
Smith: THAT WAS AUSTRIA…FOR THE LOVE, MAN
Hood: …oh
~Vargas returns his attention to TIO. CJ is seated up, returning to a normal state. Vargas turns the corner and spots TIO. TIO spots Vargas and stands up. Vargas tosses the chair aside and calls TIO a pussy. TIO nods and drops his Paradigm Title. The two stand in a stare down. The crowd goes wild, excited to see these two go at it again. They rush toward one another and begin to brawl!! The place erupts. CJ looks over, watching TIO go punch for punch with The Confederate Icon~
Smith: It’s broken down! The Incredible One and Chad Vargas have some unsettled business.
Hood: I don’t know what’s so unsettled about it…seemed pretty clear to me that he beat Vargas and won the title.
Smith: We all know that match could have gone many different ways. These two hate each other and I think another fight is well deserved.
Hood: Hey, if Vargas wants to keep getting his ass handed to him…then, whatever, that’s his choice
~Vargas gainst the upper hand. The crowd goes wild. TIO is reeling. He can’t keep up with the fists from the former OCW Champion. CJ notices this and he crawls and grabs the Paradigm Title. He places it in the right hand of TIO. TIO feels the strap, instantly knows what it is and grabs on. He grabs it with his other hand and slams it into the gut of Vargas!! Vargas doubles over as the crowd boos. TIO then uppercuts the belt into the face of Vargas!! Vargas flies through the air, landing on his back. His head is busted open. TIO slides over and starts punching away at the wound in the middle of Chad’s forehead. CJ gets to his feet and goes looking for PerZag~
Smith: This is AWFUL…I don’t know how much more of this Aptitude I can take
Hood: I guess the answer would be however long you have left on your contract
Smith: Please don’t say things like that…they hurt. At least we have Alice Knight…
Hood: Dude, she’s going to be a member of Aptitude before you know it. CJ’s got her leaning
Smith: I may retire if that happens
~CJ rounds the same corner as Vargas. PerZag is poised, waiting. He upper cuts CJ under the chin. CJ falters into the steps. PerZag hooks him and hurls him with an overhead Belly to Belly!! CJ hits and slides near the other steps. He sits up against them, grimacing. Zag charges in and knees CJ in the chest, crushing him into the steps!! CJ slouches as the fans cheer. Zag goes looking for the chair~
Smith: PerZag has a wide open avenue to victory!
Hood: Oh so now you’re cool with what TIO is doing
Smith: Certainly not…I’m just saying that with Vargas occupied, this has become a one on one style match and, well, PerZag is in control.
Hood: Not for long…he’ll start having Vietnam like flashbacks to that Alice Knight OCW Title win and begin tapping out immediately.
~He discovers it near the steps and picks it up. In the background we see TIO choking Vargas. PerZag heads to CJ with the chair in his hand. CJ, displaying a great amount of toughness, staggers to his feet. PerZag hauls off and wallops him with the chair!! The chair is dented from the head of CJ. CJ wobbles and then falls, front first onto the outside floor. Zag slides the chair into the ring and picks CJ up. He tosses CJ into the ring and rolls in behind~
Smith: That chair is getting a lot of use
Hood: Almost as much use as whatever chair, or should I say chairS, Big Bifford is currently occupying
Smith: Who says he’s in a chair right now?
Hood: Guy weighs like 800lbs…I think the chances are pretty fucking rock solid that he’s on his ass somewhere.
~Inside the ring, Zag positions the chair. He lifts CJ up and into a torture rack. He bounces CJ up and down, really applying the pressure. CJ refuses to give in. He throws a sharp elbow at the temple of Zag. Zag stumbles. He hits Zag with another. Zag responds to the second elbow by dropping CJ on top of the chair with an Olympic Slam!! CJ hits hard. Zag covers him for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick out!!!
Smith: Close one there…CJ O’Donnell nearly suffered the first defeat of the…and I hate this term…Aptitude Era.
Hood: It’s an amazing term and CJ didn’t almost suffer defeat. He could have kicked out at one but why not take another second to chill?
Smith: Agree to disagree
~TIO looks into the ring after hearing the near fall. He sees CJ in trouble. PerZag hops back to his feet and pulls CJ up. He hooks him and drops him with a PerZag Perfection onto the steel chair!!! He bridges with Scruff making the count~
1!
2!
BROKEN UP
Smith: Dang it, get him out of here!
Hood: That was an INCREDIBLE break up
Smith: Sickening, if you ask me
Hood: The second most incredible break up in OCW history…behind that time when TIO dumped MJ Bell on her ass
~TIO delivered a double axe handle into the vulnerable abs of Zag to break up the pin. He now picks Zag up and tosses him over the top rope. Zag, though, holds on and skins the cat. TIO is helping CJ to his feet, his back is to Zag. CJ is on his feet and he points at Zag. TIO turns around and eats a superkick!! He falls to the mat. CJ, though, rushes into the ropes during the superkick and as soon as Zag nails it, he comes flying into view with a Irish Knowledge!!! Zag goes flying back and through the ropes, to the outside~
Smith: Wow, out of nowhere! I don’t like the man, but he is impressive
Hood: He’s fucking Distinguished, get it right. He’s also a genius…a picnic indoors, revolutionary, man. I mean, most people call that dinner…but not CJ.
Smith: Are you mocking him?
Hood: Not really, I’m going to start having picnics inside. Keeps all the fucking ants away…especially if the person you’re dining with isn’t Alice Knight.
~CJ helps TIO to his feet. He says something about PerZag. TIO stops him and points to where Vargas is lying. TIO rushes through the ropes and he picks Vargas up. He also grabs the Paradigm Title. He tosses Vargas in under the bottom rope and quickly follows. He stands Vargas up, who is bloody and unstable…he places the title in front of Chad’s face. CJ hits the ropes, flies off and smacks Irish Knowledge into the back of the belt which sends the plate crushing into Chad’s face!! TIO lets go of Vargas. He crumbles to the mat as CJ makes the cover. PerZag tries to enter into the ring, but TIO tackles him~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd boos. They throw trash into the ring they are so angry~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the #1 Contender for the OCW Savage Championship….”THE DISGINGUISHED” CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!
Smith: Another mockery! The Aptitude are ruining this great evening
Hood: Oh man, look at all that trash. Too bad Debris isn’t still around, he’d be in Heaven.
Smith: Any thoughts on, you know, the match that just happened?
Hood: The Aptitude won…what more is there to say? They are going to keep winning until OCW either shuts down or that horrible previous owner returns.
Smith: I hope you’re wrong….I hope Mack O’Connor can derail CJ O’Donnell
Hood: You know what I hope?
Smith: What’s that…
Hood: They put the ‘O’ in their name up for grabs. The loser has to drop it. That would be worth fighting for, man.
Smith: I don’t see that happening
~We see the ring is cleared. The competitors are gone, things are peaceful~
Smith: A nice moment...I think we should sit back and enjoy for a second...
~"Animal" by Disturbed hits. The fans are jarred by the sudden contrast in atmospheric tenor. Robert Morbidus marches to the ring being led by a confident Mr. Judas. They enter into the ring and Mr. Judas grabs a mic, preparing to make an announcement~
Smith: Out here to gloat, I'd imagine
Hood: And they have every right...that was a HUGE win
Smith: They should send a thank you card to The Aptitude
Hood: Oh, I'm sure The Aptitude is going to get something out of all this
~Mr. Judas lifts the mic to his mouth~
Mr. Judas: After every great win the victor must turn the page. As satisfying as Robert's win earlier tonight was, it's only one step toward a bigger goal, the next obstacle.
~Judas hands the mic to Morbidus~
Morbidus: Savage…!
~The lights turn off completely as 'Underground' by Evermore plays softly over the PA system. The Tron suddenly turns to life as 'The Demon' Lance Savage appears on-screen. in a darkened room. Nothing can be seen, but him~
Savage: Hello, Robert. You were wanting my answer to your proposal of a Massacre Rules Match at Like There's No Tomorrow, correct? Well, I have a simple answer for you, and only you. I will see you at Like There's No Tomorrow in that Massacre Rules Match. Basically, if you are too stupid to understand what I just said, then it is a simple, yes.
~The Tron turns off as the arena is still in darkness. The lights turn back on as we see Robert Morbidus standing in the ring, staring towards the Tron, smiling. But, behind him, without Robert knowing, 'The Demon' Lance Savage stands. Savage grabs Morbidus from behind, shocking him, and turns him around. Savage lifts Morbidus up, before drilling him into the mat with a tombstone piledriver (Vicious Death). Savage stands over Morbidus, who is down on the ground after the tombstone piledriver, smiling. The lights turn off, and then turn back on, showing that 'The Demon' has gone. Morbidus is getting up after the tombstone screaming out the name 'Savage' repeatedly, in anger. We cut backstage~
~We cut backstage where Chad Vargas is being treated in a medical room. Mack Hollywood, Mack O’Connor, and Caution all stand guard outside the door. Treat exits with his hair a mess. Strain is all over his face. He looks at his entourage of clients and gives a stern order~
Treat Cassidy: NOBODY gets in there, alright? I’m going to go have a little chat with our on-site GM.
~We follow Treat through the backstage hallway. He turns a few corners, barrels past several nameless employees before finding The Eastern European. He’s enjoying a nice laugh with Barry Man is Low. He sees Treat Cassidy and laughs~
Eastern European: Trick or Treat the Cassidy! I am so happy to be making your acquaintance this evening!
~Cassidy goes for EE’s throat. Barry Man is Low steps in, keeping the two apart. EE’s eyes bulge as Treat is not fucking around~
Treat Cassidy: What happened out there with my client, Chad Vargas is bullshit. You guys have been fucking him around since OCW reopened. Now, I know what the deal with Marcus was but I don’t care. He went out there and sacrificed himself to entertain the fans. He DESERVES that Paradigm Title shot at Like There’s No Tomorrow. I don’t care if it’s The Incredible One or Rebel.
~Treat has sort of calmed down after getting that huge weight off his chest. He stands upright and gives a few inches of space between himself and EE~
Eastern European: Haha, that is great idea! But, I thinking maybe Jake E Dangerously get shot? You know he look very good tonight
Treat Cassidy: JAKE E DANGEROUSLY? But he just got here!
~Treat lunges at EE again. Barry Man is Low keeps the two separated. EE’s demeanor goes from comfortable to nervous~
Eastern European: Okay, okay. Everybody have a head cold! All is fine. I talk to Marcus…he let me know before the night is mid, okay?
~Treat squints, trying to understand what EE just said. He shakes it off and delivers and ultimatum~
Treat Cassidy: If you don’t get this shit straightened out then I will. And, if I have to keep working my ass off to make sure this place isn’t a disaster zone, you’re going to be looking for a new job, got it?
~EE nods as Treat heads off. EE straightens and pats Barry Man is Low on the shoulder~
Eastern European: I no like him. He more trick than treat. Need name change.
~We cut back to another area backstage~
~Mr. Judas is seen walking backstage, alone. He doesn’t appear happy given what transpired moments earlier~
Mr. Judas: Lance Savage is going to pay for that. March 20th, he will pay. It’s getting late, I need coffee…
~Judas makes his way to the coffee machine backstage. OCW crew say hello but he blanks them. The lights start flicking on and off around him as Judas looks up at them, and shakes his head~
Mr. Judas: People never do their jobs properly.
~The lights then turn off completely as we can hear Mr. Judas groan. They turn back on, but Judas is not where we saw him before. He is being held up against the wall, by his throat, by the man known as 'The Demon' Lance Savage. Savage stares into Judas' eyes with his eye, smiling~
Savage: Mr. Judas. I will make this simple for you. You will not be at ringside during the Massacre Match against Robert Morbidus at Like There's No Tomorrow. You, Mr. Judas, you will be backstage watching in fear of your friend being obliterated by me. This is between myself and Mr. Morbidus. It has nothing to do with you. So, if you do not want to get hurt, you will not be at ringside during the Massacre Rules match. Otherwise............
~Savage starts laughing, evilly~
Savage: Otherwise, I will have to do to you, what I will do to him. Keep this as a warning, because it is the only one you will receive.
~Savage smiles as the lights turn off, and suddenly turn back on. Mr. Judas is seen sitting on the ground, grasping at his throat, trying to breathe. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: That's a lot to digest. Let's start with the ongoing Treat Cassidy saga. It appears he's going to do everything in his power to get Chad Vargas BACK into that Paradigm Title slot.
Hood: If he's able to pull that then I think Cassidy can stop bitching about biased management...I mean holy fuck. The guy would have had 3 title shots offered in one night.
Smith: That's an oversimplification, Hood. Anybody who denies the favoritism being shown toward The Aptitude is clearly blind or biased themselves.
Hood: Hey, don't you go calling me blind
Smith: So, I guess we'll find out if Vargas will face the Paradigm champion later this week. However, it appears as though we are going to see Lance Savage take on Robert Morbidus in a Massacre Rules Match at Like There's No Tomorrow!
Hood: What kind of match?
Smith: A Massacre Rules Match
Hood: What type of match?
Smith: A MASSACRE Rules Match
Hood: And that match will be held under what sort of rules?
Smith: A MASSACRE RULES Match
Hood: One more time, just so we don't forget
Smith: A MASSACRE RULES MATCH
Hood: Okay, great, I feel very certain we are going to see a Massacre Rules match between Lance Savage and Robert Morbidus on March 20th at Like There's No Tomorrow
Smith: Woohoo! Well folks, the night is winding down...we've got one match left and it's the biggest of the evening. The Paradigm Championship is on the line as Rebel, one of the top rising wrestlers in OCW takes on The Incredible One...one of the most decorated wrestlers in OCW history.
Hood: Fuck the hype, let's get this shit going!
Smith: Indeed!
OCW Paradigm Championship
The Incredible One © (3-0) vs. Rebel (4-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match…scheduled for one fall is for the OCW Paradigm Championship!!!
~The lights around the arena turn to red as the opening strains of "Slow Me Down" by the Devin Townsend Band play out, the lights flicker red and white. The camera swoops down to the entrance to show the silhouette of a man, his back turned to the camera, with his left hand raised in a fist above his head, the lights all suddenly burst on as a huge explosion rocks the arena. Rebel rotates quickly, pumping his fist at his side as he does, he begins the walk down to the ring, reaching out periodically to shake hands with the fans. He jumps up onto the ring apron and turns quickly, his arms wrapped around the top rope, again he pumps his left fist in the air then hops over the top rope. He walks around the ring, his fist raised, then stops in the middle, a bank of red fireworks sweep across the side of the ring behind him~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs….Rebel!!!
~The heavy drums of "Honor Thy Father" beat throughout the arena followed by the distorted guitar riffs as The Incredible One steps out from the behind the curtain to a chorus of boos. He smirks, before walking down the ramp yelling at the fans in attendance, and flipping off every single child he sees. He stops at the bottom of the ramp, examining the ring and the local crowd before quickly rolling into the ring and going to the top of a turnbuckle, proclaiming himself to be the greatest wrestler alive. He gets down and impatiently paces around the ring as his music fades out~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is the OCW Paradigm Champion and a member of The Aptitude….The Incredible One!!!
~The crowd boos heavily as TIO hands his Paradigm Title to Belvedere, who exits with it. Rebel looks around the ring, scoping out the crowd. No, he’s not looking for a date. He’s apparently leery of some man named Morse. TIO notices Rebel scanning the crowd and he runs in, barreling a forearm into the side of Rebel’s head!! Rebel falls through the ropes and lands roughly on the outside as the bell sounds. TIO smirks and says, “Amateur”~
Smith: Ouch…
Hood: That’s why you’ve got to be in these types of matches before you can win them
Smith: Indeed…take your eye off a man like The Incredible One and you will pay
Hood: Yes…but look at him too long and you will pay dearly
Smith: So…what are you supposed to do?
Hood: Look at him just the right amount
~TIO steps through the ropes and hops onto the outside. Rebel is trying to get to his feet. TIO kicks him in the knee sending Rebel back to the ground. TIO grabs Rebel by the head and slams the side of Rebel’s head into the ring apron!! There is a sick thud from impact. Rebel grabs his head and kicks his legs wildly. TIO places his foot onto the afflicted portion of Rebel’s head and presses down. Rebel yells…but not in a rebellious tone…more like in a ‘oh shit this fucking hurts’ tone. TIO yells at Scruff to do his job~
Smith: The Incredible One knows he can’t make Rebel submit outside the ring…he’s just being an ass.
Hood: Why did the donkey get labeled the ass? What about the mule? Seems the mule got off light.
Smith: Aren’t they both called that derogatory term?
Hood: I think it’s just donkey. I went to one of those shows in Mexico and they were like, “man that ass is really giving it to…”
Smith: ENOUGH
~Scruff seems confused. He begins to ask, through the ropes, if Rebel wants to quit. Belvedere hurries to ringside and informs Scruff that’s not how it works. Scruff nods and appears relieved – less work for the hobo. He sits back and watches. Rebel is able to squirm under the ring enough to force TIO’s foot off his head. TIO grabs Rebel’s right arm and yanks him back out into the rope. Rebel dives for TIO’s legs and backs TIO against a barricade. He tries to lift TIO up by TIO clubs him in the back with a forearm followed by an immediate knee lift. Rebel stands up straight and backs against the ring. TIO charges with a clothesline…it forces the ring apron to stab Rebel in the lower back. He clutches his lower back in pain~
Smith: Smart move by Rebel but The Incredible One stymied any sort of comeback.
Hood: I like Rebel…guy rides motorcycles on golf courses, fights snakes…he’s a cool hombre. However, he’s not on TIO’s level yet.
Smith: How do you know that?
Hood: Because TIO fights PYTHONS, not snakes.
Smith: They aren’t literal snakes, Hood. It’s a gang.
Hood: My point still stands
~TIO picks Rebel up like he’s going for a spinebuster but, instead drives his lower back into the edge of the apron. Rebel grimaces, keeping his hand on his back as if that’s supposed to help the pain. Belvedere stands up and yells, “Scruff! You CAN count, ya know?” This wakes Scruff up as he, for some reason thought no outside submission also meant no count out. So, he begins to count. TIO tosses Rebel in under the bottom rope and rolls in behind~
Smith: We really need new officiating…it was nice to see Gruff get work tonight
Hood: First match back and he’s already turned someone into a Hall of Famer!
Smith: I don’t want to talk about that fiasco
Hood: It’s etched in stone, Smith.
~TIO gets to his feet and pulls Rebel to his. He backs Rebel into a corner, who is still favoring his back. TIO proceeds to lay several crisp knife edged chops into the exposed chest of Rebel. Each one produces a pained expression on Rebel’s face. His chest turns increasingly red with chop marks beginning to appear. TIO delivers at least seven before relenting and pie facing Rebel into the corner with more than a hint of arrogance~
Smith: Ouch
Hood: Good news is…Rebel’s not thinking about that back anymore
Smith: That is a valid, if completely unnecessary point.
Hood: What becomes of a Rebel that’s tamed?
Smith: I don’t have any earthly idea…a citizen?
Hood: Ah, so after tonight we can call him Citizen.
~TIO goes to whip Rebel out of the corner. Rebel reverses!! TIO, though, in running past Rebel hooks Rebel under the chin and locks in a sleeper hold!! Rebel stands up tall, bringing TIO off his feet. TIO wraps his legs around Rebel’s waist. Rebel staggers…TIO squeezes harder and harder. Rebel falls to one knee. TIO unwraps his legs and leans forward, bending Rebel’s body and working to limit his air supply~
Smith: A good old fashioned sleeper hold
Hood: If he beats Rebel with a fucking sleeper hold…well, Rebel may as well sell his bike and buy one of those Segway things.
Smith: Hey, I love those! I’ve got one in my house that I ride around on.
Hood: Point proven
~Rebel goes limp. Scruff grabs his hand, about to test his awareness. TIO releases the hold and shoves Scruff away. He starts to pepper the back of Rebel’s head with open handed slaps. He then playfully kicks the back of Rebel’s head as though he were a small child being bullied. The crowd boos as TIO smiles and extends his arms, feeding off the negative energy~
Smith: I don’t know how anybody can enjoy being loathed like this
Hood: That’s because you ride a Segway
Smith: Look, I don’t ride it strictly for pleasure, alright? I’ve got the very early stages of arthritis in my lower left shin. It’s medicinal.
Hood: You are such a gaping vag of a man…GAPING
~TIO grabs Rebel by his blonde hair and pulls him up. Rebel is leaning over, spaghetti legged. TIO goes forehead to forehead with Rebel and talks trash. He slaps Rebel across the face. Rebel moves his head under TIO’s chin and drops to his knees, smacking TIO silly with jawbreaker!! TIO staggers back against the ropes. Rebel gets to his feet…stumbles for a moment, composes and charges forward with a big boot that sends TIO over the top rope and to the outside. Rebel’s right leg hands safely over the top rope before he slides it back in. He leans his arms over the top rope as he catches a breath~
Smith: There we go!! OCW isn’t the type of place where you can afford to act in such a haughty manner.
Hood: It also shouldn’t be the place where a fucking lead announcer talks like that….haughty manner? Man, sounds like some kind of gay ass estate on a hill
Smith: Ooohhh, something pretty…like…
Hood: Like House on Haughty Hill HA HA HA
~TIO staggers to his feet still stunned from the impact but functional enough to recover fairly quickly. He looks up at Rebel angrily. He hops onto the apron and throws a punch at his relaxed opponent. Rebel dodges the punch and clotheslines TIO!! TIO holds onto the top rope to keep from falling. Rebel latches onto TIO’s head, hooks him and drops him into the ring with a suplex!! TIO sits up and grimaces in pain~
Smith: Rebel has it working now…a man that size, with that much athleticism and momentum on his side…anything can happen.
Hood: Well, anything but winning…sure.
Smith: ANYTHING
Hood: All TIO has to do is hiss like a snake and Rebel will falter…trust me on this. I sent him a twitter DM giving him this intel.
Smith: What did he say?
Hood: He never responded
Smith: Haha
Hood: HEY! I’m sure he was busy…I’m not sweating it
~Rebel kicks TIO in the back. TIO jolts forward and winds up on his hands and knees. Rebel grabs TIO by the hair and thrashes him to his feet. He whips TIO in the ropes and throws a spinning back elbow into the face of TIO. He falls down, grabbing his mouth in pain…he checks to make sure all his teeth are intact. They appear to be. Rebel heads for a corner. He calmly climbs to the top. The fans start to get behind him, feeling that he could really take control here. Rebel leaps off with a Guillotine leg drop but TIO rolls out of the way!! Rebel hits hard and holds his leg in pain. TIO crawls quickly and locks the sleeper back onto Rebel as the fans begin to boo~
Smith: Annnnd back to the sleeper…while I may not like it, I do respect the strategy.
Hood: Yea, keep that citizen down. Keep him DOWN
~Rebel doesn’t stay down nearly as long this go around. Perhaps it’s due to TIO being weakened or maybe it has something to do with Rebel having gained belief through offense…whatever the case, he starts to power up. TIO looks around with wild eyes as the crowd stomps and claps and cheers. The momentum is clearly tilting toward Rebel. Rebel gets to his feet. TIO wraps his legs around Rebel’s waste again. Rebel starts to falter…but he solidifies. He then backs into a corner and squashes TIO!! TIO releases and falls to his knees. Rebel sprints across the ring…he bounces off the ropes and he giant boot flies into view, smacking TIO across the face!! TIO’s body is strung out over the bottom rope with his upper torso hanging tenuously close to tipping over and crashing onto the floor~
Smith: Yes! Great comeback…Rebel is not going gently…not into THIS good night
Hood: Oh shut your fuckin trap. Quoting poetry is not very rebellious ya know
Smith: Dylan Thomas is one of my favorites
Hood: Quoting poetry is such a citizen thing to do
~Rebel grabs TIO’s legs and drags him toward the middle of the ring. He gets him into a wheel barrel position. He works some momentum and lifts TIO up…he hooks a full nelson while TIO is in the air and slams him to the ground with a Full Nelson Slam!! The ring shakes from impact. Rebel goes for the pin as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close…that was an unexpected maneuver
Hood: Fuckin hell…c’mon TIO! This guy rides motorcycles for fuck’s sake…he’s a WILD HOG
Smith: No he’s not
Hood: Oh yea he is…dude’s like forty something, right? He’d totally fit in…they could just cut H Macy outta the group
~Rebel hops to his feet and he hurries for the corner. The crowd rises to their feet knowing what’s coming~
Smith: Revolution Hood…REVOLUTION!
Hood: Get that CITIZEN down from there before he hurts somebody, OR WORSE
Smith: What could be worse than an injury?
Hood: Uhh…Rebel – OCW Paradigm Champion
~Rebel reaches the top and leaps off with Revolution!! TIO gets his knees up! They slam right into Rebel’s gut!! TIO grabs Rebel by the head and rolls him over into a Small Package!! Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
Kick Out!
Smith: Quick kick out by Rebel but…the damage is done.
Hood: That’s what happens when a citizen climbs out of their comfort zone.
Smith: Would you stop calling him that? It sounds so…I don’t know, Orwellian
~Both TIO and Rebel get to their feet…Rebel holding his abs, TIO the back of his head. TIO throws a fore arm, Rebel blocks it and turns TIO around. He hooks in another Full Nelson. TIO thrusts his head back, smacking Rebel in the nose. Rebel lets go grabbing his face. He staggers into the ropes and ricochets off TIO hugs him and tosses him with a Belly-to-Belly suplex!~
Smith: I have to give it to the man…excellent response
Hood: INCREDIBLE response, Smith
Smith: It was a belly-to-bely suplex…let’s not go crazy
Hood: Yes, but on a REBEL like, umm, Rebel…that’s incredible
Smith: He was a citizen just a few minutes ago…now he’s back to being a Rebel?
~TIO takes a moment to catch his breath, understanding that defeat nearly consumed him. He slowly reaches his feet as Rebel is still on the mat. Rebel reaches a crawling position and gets near the ropes. TIO sees and advantage and takes it…he charges in, looking to boot Rebel across the face. Rebel moves! TIO’s body goes flying through the ropes!! He lands harshly on the outside~
Smith: Did you hear that smack?
Hood: I sure did…sounds like the type of smack that would get the COPS called to your place
Smith: I wouldn’t know anything about that
Hood: Sure you would, all those times that ex of yours smacked you around…I’m pretty sure I even saw you two on an episode.
Smith: You are dead wrong, sir. Our incident never made air.
~Rebel gets to his feet and climbs to the top. He looks down at TIO, who is on his back. The crowd rises to their feet with anticipation~
Smith: Umm, what’s he doing…
Hood: I think he’s trying to look wayyyy back into the crowd for that enemy of his.
Smith: No, I think…I think he might be going for Revolution!
~Rebel leaps off and lands on TIO with Revolution from the top rope all the way to the outside!!!! The crowd goes wild!! “RE-BEL! RE-BEL!” chants fill the arena! He rolls around holding his abdomen in pain, kicking his legs. TIO is not moving~
Smith: Oh my gosh, Hood! He hit it!! He’s three hand slaps away from becoming the OCW Paradigm Champion!
Hood: Hand slaps?
Smith: I adlibbed a bit there…went for a hip synonym
Hood: Yea, just stick to the basics, man
~Rebel is slow to his feet…the move was highly impactful, on both men. He gets to his feet and grabs TIO by the hair. He tosses him back into the ring and hesistates for a moment. He bends over, wincing. The crowd grows anxious, yelling for him to get into the ring. He finally does and he covers TIO. The crowd counts along~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!!
Smith: NOOOOO
Hood: Holy shit that was close
Smith: If only this had been Falls Count Anywhere…IF ONLY
Hood: Too bad, so sad
Smith: Silver lining, however, is that TIO is in rough shape. If Rebel can hit Revolution again, I think he’d force TIO down for as long as he wants.
Hood: Rape?
Smith: RAPE? I’m not talking about Rape…get your mind out of the gutter
~Rebel asks Scruff if he heard correctly. Scruff nods. Rebel shakes his head, having come so close. But, he realizes the match is still ongoing, so he moves on. He gets to his feet and pulls TIO up. He whips TIO into the ropes and drills him with a big boot to the face!! TIO staggers around like a drunk person…he walks right into Rebel and receives a kick to the gut, followed by a swinging neck breaker~
Smith: Rebel is rolling…TIO looks done for
Hood: We need something Distinguished…or, perhaps a Marvel…hint, hint, wink wink
Smith: Not very subtle, Hood
Hood: Yea well you know it’s not like anybody can fucking see me…I’m doing my best here
~Rebel heads to the nearest corner. He begins the climb. The fans are optimistic. They get to their feet. Rebel reaches the top and he looks down. He takes in a deep breath, enjoying the moment. He leaps off with the Revolution….but TIO MOVES! Rebel slams into the mat!! The fans groan and they sit down. Rebel rolls around in pain…the impact from the previous Revolution plus this miss has done a number on his midsection~
Smith: Deflating
Hood: I love popping balloons, man.
Smith: That’s not really deflating…that’s just popping.
Hood: Well, whatever…the message stays the same…I hate balloons and especially those who play with them.
~Rebel finds the ropes, after rolling onto his front side. He crawls to them and gets to his feet. TIO is on all fours. Rebel measures him up and goes for the Rebel Rouser (Fame-Asser). TIO, though sprints to his feet, catches Rebel and drills him into the mat with a Spinebuster!! The crowd boos as TIO remains on his knees with Rebel on his back~
Smith: The resiliency of TIO…
Hood: Like a dick on Viagra…pops up OUTTA NOWHERE
Smith: Interesting your mind went there
Hood: It’s late in the evening, Smith. My mind is prone to go a lot of places it shouldn’t
~TIO stumbles to his feet and grabs hold of Rebel’s hair. Rebel pushes TIO away. He chops TIO across the chest. TIO taggers and bends at the waist. Rebel goes for the Rebel Rouser once more…again TIO counters it, this time lifting Rebel up and dropping him with You’re Incredibly Fucked!!!! Rebel’s neck compresses, his legs go limp and TIO makes the cover. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The bell rings to a chorus of boos~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND STILL OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!
Smith: No, no, no, no, no, no, nooooo!!!
Hood: What a night, Smith! What a NIGHT
Smith: Rebel was in control throughout that match. I feel like he let one get away
Hood: Let one get away? That’s The Incredible One, mother fucker. Not The Solid One. Not The Okay One and damn sure not The Not Quite As Good As Rebel One. That’s The Incredible One!
Smith: Yes, we all know his name.
Hood: Apparently not, saying shit like Rebel controlled the match
Smith: Well, he did!
Hood: Whatever
Smith: Well it's been an...err...a wonderful night
Hood: You were going to say incredible, weren't you?
Smith: Does it really matter? Folks...it's been a tremendous night and while the outcomes didn't quite go the way some of us would have liked...you can't deny the heart and competition that was exhibited from start to finish.
Hood: Yea, it was rad
Smith: And, before we sign off I think we owe Rebel a moment of recognition for the hard work he put into this match
Hood: I guess.
~Rebel rolls over in the ring after the Incredible One has finished celebrating, he has a look of grim determination in his eyes and walks towards the ramp, shaking hands with fans who look to console him over the loss, he makes reassuring gestures when he meets each of them. As he gets halfway up the ramp, the lights in the arena drop, Vigil,by Lamb of God plays out around the arena, purple smoke builds up on the stage slowly, and as the lyrics kick in, a massive explosion rocks the arena from the stage, the lights then come back up. When they come up, there is nobody on the stage, Rebel turns to find nobody behind him. He laughs nervously as he makes his way to the back, he tries to go through the curtain but appears to meet some resistance, before being dragged through the curtain~
Smith: What was that?
Hood: Is there a black hole backstage?
Smith: I doubt that but...could it be...could it be that person from Rebel's past that he seemed so worried about early on?
Hood: I don't know, shit happened behind a curtain. Maybe he just tripped and fell down some steps
Smith: NO he was clearly pulled
Hood: Okay, fine...I get you're a Rebel Rouser...chill out
Smith: I AM a Rebel Rouser...I just hope Rebel is okay
Hood: I predict we will see him at the OCW Arena next week
Smith: Well I hope so...anyway folks, that just about does it here for this week. We will see you next week as everyone gets their final shots and statements in before Like There's No Tomorrow...see ya next week!
~We fade to black~