OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, August 21st 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~We cut into the OCW Arena. The crowd is RABID. They have RABIES. Muffles is already having a major impact, apparently. There are signs…but we do not read them. The camera man is extremely tired this Monday evening. SO…we cut straight to the announce table~
Smith: Hello again and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith…and alongside me as always is Hood
Hood: Booyashaka!
Smith: Okay…anyway, we’ve got a big night tonight…a contender for Monroe’s Ascension Championship will be determined AND Iggy defends the Savage Championship against Tommy Crimson
Hood: It’s gonna be LIT
Smith: Is that a joke at Crimson’s expense?
Hood: I’d never admit it if it was…guy would murder me
Smith: Smart man…regardless, we’ve got a great night ahead so let’s get right to it!
Robert Morbidus (4-4) vs. Jack Puffer (0-2)
~Jack Puffer is already in the ring. He’s holding a chalice with a look of hope in his eyes~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Aurora, Illinois…Jack Puffer!!!
~The arena goes dark, then flashes blood red...Mr Judas then walks out first showing off his prodigy - Robert Morbidus. He walks through the curtain, looks around with absolute disdain at the audience. He then powers down to the ring, focused on the task at hand~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from The Other Side of Darkness, standing 6’6 and weighing in at 275lbs… “The True Living Vampire” Robert Morbidus!!!
~Morbidus stares down Puffer. The bell sounds~
Smith: The long awaited return of Robert Morbidus. His run during the early part of 2017 included many highlights…the most notable being when he pinned OCW Hall of Famer and two time OCW Champion, MJ Bell
Hood: He did do that…he also freaked everyone out in the Amazon
Smith: Indeed…we haven’t really seen The True Living Vampire since
Hood: Nope, my theory is he took too much sun and had to take some time off
~Puffer tentatively approaches Morbidus. He holds the chalice up, as an offering. Morbidus looks down into the chalice, curiously. He snares it away from Puffer, causing the good detective to stagger backwards. Morbidus brings the chalice to his nose and takes a long whiff~
Smith: Is this some type of blood offering?
Hood: Might be…I think Puffer finally figured something out! Give the vampire blood and he might not rip your throat out
Smith: Certainly is nice to see some character development out of the Good Detective
Hood: I was beginning to worry he’d always be a shitty detective
~Morbidus frowns…more so than usual. He turns the chalice over and empties the contents out on the mat. It’s a red liquid. It’s obvious to pretty much anyone that the substance is not blood. It appears to be some type of juice. The red is extremely light and vibrant. Scruff gets a whiff and smiles saying “KOOL AID!” Puffer buries his face in his hands~
Smith: Well, so much for assuming Puffer learned a thing or two
Hood: What an idiot…if you’re gonna bring Kool Aid to a wrestling match, make sure you have the giant KOOL AID man with you as backup
Smith: I’m not sure OCW management would appreciate having that guy around here bursting through walls
Hood: He’s a true humanitarian, though. He was the guy who tore down the Berlin Wall…did you know that?
Smith: No, I did not…because it’s FAKE NEWS
~Morbidus opens his mouth wide, flashing his teeth. He sort of roars in Puffer’s face. Puffer cowers, begging for forgiveness. Morbidus hoists Puffer up, onto his shoulders. He performs an Airplane Spin. He goes around and around…longer than you’d expect. After several rotations, he drops Puffer onto the mat with an F5!!! Morbidus turns Puffer over and makes the pin, Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner… “THE TRUE LIVING VAMPIRE” ROBERT MORBIDUS!!!!!
Smith: Domination by Robert Morbidus…for those of you who may have forgotten, he calls that move Eternal Suffering
Hood: Kool Aid is so fucking bad for you…not only is it ridiculously high in sugar…not only does it sometimes cause a giant red thing to tear down your wall…but it also gets your ass kicked
Smith: That was a very rare occurrence, Hood. An occurrence that could only have been perpetrated by the one and only – Jack Puffer
Hood: He’s some kind of special alright
Smith: Well Morbidus looked great in his return…I’ve no doubt he’s going to factor heavily in the OCW scene as we move forward. However, we’ve still got plenty of action to get to this evening so…
~Party Hard by Andrew W.K. hits the speakers and the fans cheer as Mike Zybala walks out on to the stage with a microphone in hand~
Hood: What's he doing here?!? He's not on the card!
Smith: When has that stopped anybody from dropping in?
Hood: It's a horrible trend.
~Zybala raises the mic to face level and the music cut as he begins to speak~
Zybala: I'll keep this short and sweet so we can get on with the show. Last week, despite the outside interference from some really, really, REALLY old looking man who had to hide is old looks under a mask and his two lackeys trying to tie me up, I was able to escape with the help of some fans and win the Process of Elimination match to become the number one contender to the Paradigm title.
That is the reason I'm out here. I have a request. I know Mack is busy with the Margarita Mixer and that all good and what not, but I don't want to face him next week if he already has a match. I want our contest to be fair, which it won't be if he's already worn out from a previous match. I don't want someone else's sloppy seconds. That's why I really haven't messed with Meyhu. After C.J. and Ian got done with him, Matty Boy lost his new car smell. He's all used up like a cheap, dumped date.. hashtag shots fired... And I don't want Mack to be like that. So Welsh, European, make something happen.
~Zybala then walks back to the back as the fans cheer more. We cut back to Hood and Smith~
Smith: Some very interesting words from the Paradigm number one contender.
Hood: Zybala is looking for an ass kicking. Insulting the TRUE OCW champion like that. Meyhu won't take that lying down!
Smith: Meyhu vs Zybala is going to happen...the only question is...when?
Hood: What are you asking me for?
Smith: I have no idea...anyway, it's time for our second match of the evening so...let's head down to ringside!
Muffles the Bunny (1-0) vs. The Ninja (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~"Jet Pack Blues and Sunset Hues" by Anamanaguchi begins to play. The fans turn and watch as The Ninja jump kicks his way through the curtain! He throws a bunch of kicks around, displaying his ‘educated’ feet. He hustles down the ramp and leaps onto the apron…he somersaults over the top rope, sticking a perfect landing inside the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan…standing five feet tall and weighing in at 120lbs…The Ninja!!!
~”Bad Bunny” by Radioactive Chicken Heads begins to play. Muffles appears in the crowd, accompanied by the sound of guitar riffs and screeching. A bright orange baseball bat slung casually over his shoulder. He strolls down before he begins to walk along the top of the barricade. He hops down and makes his way to roll into the ring~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Bunnyman Bridge…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 236lbs…Muffles the Bunny!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Two newcomers to OCW…Muffles had an impressive victory over Liam Zua one week ago. The Ninja, I’m told, did something no other wrestler has done in OCW history
Hood: Compile a list of styles so thorough it spans more pages than the Bible?
Smith: No! He won a CANCELLED MATCH
Hood: Holy shit!
~The Ninja throws some flashy air punches and kicks around. Muffles just stares at him. Or, at least we THINK he’s staring at Ninja. He could be rolling his eyes for all we know. Ninja steps forward and throws a straight punch at Muffles. Muffles catches his arm and applies a wristlock. The crowd rises~
Smith: Uh oh! The dreaded Muffles wristlock!
Hood: Ninja is fucked
Smith: Indeed
~Muffles leaps into the air with a flying knee, drilling Ninja right in the face! Ninja collapses to the mat. Muffles makes the pin, Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….MUFFLES THE BUNNY!!!!!
Smith: Wow…dominating win by Muffles. Ninja tries…something and, well, Muffles caught it and ended the match via IL TAV ID
Hood: That bunny is scary, bro
Smith: He’s decimated his first two opponents…it appears tougher competition is on the horizon for Muffles. Anyway, let’s head backstage
~Backstage, ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu stands with his back against the wall. He’s got a small cardboard box under his arm. He peeks around the corner, down a long hallway, checking for someone or something. Nothing. He looks back the other way and spots a young man who works at the arena heading his way~
Matt Meyhu: Psst. Hey kid, over here.
~Caught off guard, the young man makes his way over to Meyhu~
Matt Meyhu: Got a minute?
Young Man: Sure.
Matt Meyhu: Take this box, deliver it to the fourth door on the right.
Young Man: What’s in it-
Matt Meyhu: Nothing! It doesn’t matter what’s in it, man. It’s a box. Just a box. Don’t open the box, okay?
Young Man: Yeah, no problem. I meant what’s in it for me?
Matt Meyhu: You shaking me down? You got a lot of nerve kid. I’m the OCW Champion!
Young Man: I thought you lost it?
Matt Meyhu: Ohhhh, you’re one of them, huh? Take this and get out of here. Don’t tell ‘em who this is from.
~Meyhu slaps a $20 bill into the kid’s hand and sends him on his way~
Matt Meyhu: And don’t forget who your champion is!
~Meyhu continues to watch from a distance as the young man walks down the hallway carrying to box. He stops and knocks on a door labeled ‘TIO’. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: What's in the box, I wonder
Hood: I hope it's not a severed dick!
Smith: What the??
Hood: Sorry...sort of mashed Game of Thrones and Lonely Island together
Smith: Time for a palate cleanser...let's head down to ringside for our next match
Curt Canon (8-3) vs. Paris (1-1)
~Paris is already in the ring~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from Mykonos, Greece…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 118lbs…Paris!!
~he opening beats of Figure 8 by Trust Company hits. 8 seconds into the song you see Curt Canon slide out from the entrance way on to the ramp. He stands there with an arrogant look on his face and for a few seconds before taking both hands and pointing to himself. In the same motion he leans a bit back and throws his hands out to his side. He then slowly starts to make his way to the ring arrogantly looking at the crowd and rubbing his wrist on the way down. He gets to the ring and walks up the steps….climbs into the ring heads to the center repeats the pose he did at the top of the ramp as blue pyro shoots out of all 4 turnbuckles~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion and a current OCW Hall of Famer…Curt Canon!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Alright…Canon’s team suffered a disappointing – somewhat controversial loss last week in the Process of Elimination match, preventing Canon from earning a shot at the Paradigm Championship
Hood: Yea, that fucking Zybala…he’s like that car on the freeway swerving across all four lanes…get in front or get behind…whatever you do, just stay the fuck away
Smith: He’s not THAT out of control
Hood: You’re only saying that because you’re a fan. I’ll bet that chimp of his bought you flowers or some shit
Smith: I would NEVER accept a form of bribery from anyone on this roster, Hood
~Curt charges at Paris…he leaps through the air placing both knees into her chest…he drives her back into the corner. Paris’ back SLAMS into the buckles with tremendous force…Canon lands on his feet and takes off, shuffling backward. He charges in again…this time he performs a sit out dropkick, taking out the right leg of Paris. Paris falls face first, slamming into the mat! The fans begin to boo as Canon pops up and flashes an arrogant smile~
Hood: We must have a lot of French people in the crowd tonight
Smith: I don’t think it’s the fact Canon is beating Paris up…it’s the manner with which he’s performing the task
Hood: What? Efficiently?
Smith: Filled with arrogance!
~Paris fights to her feet while Canon taunts the crowd. They start to cheer. He turns, taking a look at what all the FUSS is about. Paris gets to her knees. She’s disheveled and dazed but fighting to stay in the match. Canon holds his hands up and says, “Okay! Okay, you can get to your feet – I’m impressed.” Paris staggers to her feet, mostly unaware. Canon charges in and drives his knee into her head with a V-Trigger! Paris goes limp and falls through the ropes, landing on the apron. The fans boo and chant “FUCK OFF” at Canon~
Smith: So much for chivalry!
Hood: Who gives a fuck about chivalry…Paris would rip his head off if she could
Smith: No way, not Paris!
Hood: Yes, Paris
~Canon reaches through the ropes and grabs Paris by the hair. He yanks her through the middle and top rope, bending her body backward. He hooks her head under his arm with her feet still on the apron. The middle rope is pressed into her back. Canon drops her to the mat with the Canon Cutter!! He sits up with a disgusted look. He stands and drags the lifeless body of Paris into the middle of the ring. He goes for a cover~
1!
2!
NO!
Smith: Hey!
Hood: Paris powered out of the Canon Cutter!
Smith: She did not…he PULLED her up
Hood: The determination and heart of this woman!
~Canon, with a handful of red hair, yells out “WEAK ASS FINISHER” and slams the back of Paris’ head repeatedly into the mat. He gets to his feet, pulling Paris alongside. He hooks Paris for a DDT. Canon slits his throat with his thumb (NOT LITERALLY). He leaps into the air and drops Paris on her head with an Essex Destroyer!! Think a Canadian Destroyer…only a DDT instead of a piledriver. The crowd ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ at the move. Canon covers Paris, Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….CURT CANON!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win despite disappointing antics
Hood: We’re seeing the NEW Curt Canon. Fuck that Canon Cutter bullshit…this new move is WAY better
Smith: It says on my sheet here that he calls it The Chronicles End. I don’t know WHY he abandoned the Canon Cutter…a move that provided him with so many wins here in OCW – but I guess he felt change was necessary
Hood: Of course he did…and who can blame him? This is the new Canon…a new attitude…I dig it!
Smith: I’m sure you do…anyway, Canon looking better than ever against Paris…now we roll on and head backstage!
~We cut backstage. Welsh is furious~
Marcus Welsh: What do you mean no more segments?
~An employee lowers his head with embarrassment~
Marcus Welsh: We've got over half a show remaining and we're OUT of segments? What the hell am I paying you guys for? Get out of here!
~The employee runs away~
Marcus Welsh: Be careful what you wish for...too many segments from some people...now ZERO segments...or, well, nearly zero...fuckin hell
~Welsh pulls out his phone~
Marcus Welsh: Yea...yea...looks like we've gotta roll out the Massacre girls for the rest of the evening
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: We are out of segments, Hood!
Hood: I know some segments can be labeled boring or that people often criticize when one person is in several segments but...shit...that's better than no segments
Smith: Indeed...oh well, let's head down to ringside for our next match
Ed Houston (6-2) vs. Kip Young (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~ “Whispers in the Dark” by Skillet begins to play. The crowd turns and watches as Kip Young emerges from behind the curtain. He looks focused, as always. He marches straight for the ring, rolling in under the bottom rope and popping to his feet, ready for competition~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Quebec, Canada…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 175lbs…Kip Young!!!
~The OCWTron counts down from 10 to 1 when it hits 1 an audible Blast Off is heard as pyrotechnics go off. Ed Houston runs to the ring as Rocket Man plays. He runs all the way to the ring and slides under before waving to the fans~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 180lbs…Ed Houston!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Interesting matchup, Hood. These two men are near identical in terms of physical stature.
Hood: No kidding.
Smith: Kip Young fought Meyhu to the wire last week but, unfortunately, was unable to pull off the massive upset. Ed Houston also had a tough Monday evening by falling short in his bid to dethrone Jacqui Monroe to claim the OCW Ascension Championship
Hood: Somebody is going to turn things around…the other, well, they are going to dip into THEON LAND
Smith: It won’t be THAT bad
~Young and Houston lock up! Young transitions into a side headlock. Houston shoves Young off, into the ropes. Young hits the ropes…Ed throws a clothesline, Kip tucks and rolls, dodging the arm. He pops to his feet and grabs Houston from behind. Houston throws and elbow, smacking Young in the mouth. Young falls back against the ropes. Houston turns around and charges in…Young ducks, lifting Houston over the top rope…Ed lands on the apron. He grabs Young by the back of the head and drops off the apron, snapping the back of Young’s neck across the top rope! Young falls to his knees, grasping at the back of his neck in pain~
Smith: Fast paced action early on…great move by Houston to gain the early advantage
Hood: Tried to break Young’s neck…you know what they say, only the good die young…Kip must be a good guy
Smith: Well, he’s not dead
Hood: On the inside, he might be
~Houston slides back into the ring. He grabs Kip by the head and drags him toward the center of the ring. He hooks Kip for a DDT. Kip fights out of it and shoves Ed backward. Ed hits the ropes. Kip charges in…Ed ducks…Kip stops, anticipating the duck. He lifts a leg, kicking Ed right in the face! Ed straightens up, holding his face in pain. Kip hooks Ed and tosses him toward the center of the ring with an Exploder Suplex~
Smith: Nice comeback by Kip…he anticipated a move we’ve all seen a thousand times and was able to flip the script
Hood: Fucking Ed…he’s a NASA man…c’mon, you’re better than that!
Smith: It’s still early, relax
Hood: I’m just saying…he takes too many kicks to the face and it could fuck up his eyesight…pilots need a solid pair of eyes, ya know?
Smith: One would think
~Kip returns to his feet, quickly. Ed is already up to one knee. Kip runs toward Ed, throwing a knee. Ed dodges the knee. Kip stops before running into a corner. He turns around and is dropkicked by Ed! His back slams into the buckles. Ed pops back to his feet and charges in, drilling Kip with European uppercuts…each one harder than the previous~
Smith: Back and forth action…neither man able to maintain the advantage
Hood: Yea…I assumed Ed to be the favorite but, fuck…at this point it could go either way
Smith: Indeed, Kip showed up to fight tonight
Hood: Knocking off Ed Houston would be a major win
~Ed lifts Kip up, placing him on the top turnbuckle. Ed leaps into the air, wrapping his legs around Kip’s head….he bends back, looking for a Frankensteiner…Kip holds on! Kip displays tremendous strength by lifting Ed up, leaping off the top and powerbombing him into the mat! The crowd pops! Kip goes for a pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: I thought he had it!
Hood: So did Kip!
Smith: Ed got caught…and nearly paid the price
Hood: Well he still paid the price…I mean the dude got slammed on the back of his fucking head
Smith: True
~Kip gets to his feet. He pulls Houston up and whips him into a corner. Houston hits hard. Kip rushes in…Ed knees him in the face! Kip staggers back. Ed hops onto the top buckle. Kip stumbles toward him…Ed kicks Kip in the face! Kip falls to the mat. Ed leaps off and nails BLASTOFF! He makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….ED HOUSTON
Smith: Ed Houston with the win…just goes to show he can win from anywhere at any time
Hood: THE NASA MAN!
Smith: Indeed…great bounce back for Ed after last week’s tough loss…anyway, let’s…
~Seductive music begins to play. A bunch of girls come out and dance on stage for no apparent reason. The men in the crowd get into it. The females leave to buy merchandise and concession~
Smith: It's the Massacre girls!
Hood: Wow...this is pretty pointless but they are hot!
Smith: Indeed!
~They dance for awhile. The music stops and they go backstage~
Smith: Alright! Now let's head to ringside for this week's edition of the Mix!
”The Purple V.I.P.” Josie Barnes(10-7) vs. Bob Grenier(11-7)
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is part of the Margarita Mix tournament! Making his way to the ring, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 222lbs… BOB GRENIER!
Hood: HERE COMES BOB! Canada REPRESENT!
Smith: So you do like Canada?
Hood: Nope.
~Smart Went Crazy begins echoes throughout the arena and Bob Grenier makes his way out to a nice ovation. He slaps the hands of his fans while he mouths the words of the song to himself, about halfway down the aisle he stops and looks up and throws both hands in the air in tribute to his deceased relatives. He looks directly into the OCW camera and then playfully turns it towards the audience before he slides under the bottom rope. The fans continue to cheer as he sit's on the top turnbuckle silently awaiting his opponent.~
Smith: The Whore Master looks ready to roll!
Hood: We’ll see what Josie has to say about that. Here she comes!
Belvedere: And his opponent…. She hails from Lilly, Georgia but resides in Key West… JoooooSssssssiiiieeee Barnes!
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment begins to play. The fans get on their feet and offer a very likable, cheery response for Josie Barnes. She steps out from behind the curtain with anxiety in her face. She’s got a HUGE task in front of her. Barnes sets down the ramp and doesn’t exert any wasted energy. She rolls in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet in the center of the ring~
Smith: The crowd seems to be loving Josie over Grenier in this one.
Hood: What do they know?
Smith: The referee comes in to explain the rules of the Margarita Mix Match.
~After Scruff explains the rules of the match to both competitors, he calls for the bell! Bob strikes first by grappling Josie! He works his way around her back then wraps both arms around her. Barnes fights off Grenier with little to no success. Bob lifts her up in the air over his head! The german suplex shakes the entire ring! Grenier watches as Josie gets back to her feet then catches her for a dragon leg whip! Barnes hits the mat and Bob quickly hooks a leg!
1!
Hood: KICKOUT! That dragon leg whip was wicked.
Smith: Josie is back up!
~Barnes gets back to her feet quickly after the kickout. Grenier strikes again with his center of gravity lower looking for a tackle! Josie shuffles her feet quickly and leaps over Grenier! He misses and she rolls him up from behind!~
1!
Smith: KICKOUT! Josie trying to steal one.
Hood: She’s done it before!
~Grenier gets back to his face then snarls at Josie. They both take off at each other but Barnes hits the Lou Thesz Press! She hammers Bob in the face with a right then a left. She continues combinations until Grenier uses his knees to throw her off! She bounces into the ropes then gets tangled up!~
Hood: Barnes is tangled up in the ropes!
Smith: Grenier looks to take advantage.
Hood: No Shit.
~Bob slowly approaches Josie from behind. A wide evil grin crosses his face. Barnes fights to free herself with little success. Josie is tangled up looking out on the crowd with no idea what Grenier is up to behind her. Bob slides out of the ring and hits both feet on the floor. He can now face Barnes who continues to wiggle herself free. Bob begins hitting Josie in the face! Over and Over! The referee immediately warns him for it. Grenier takes one more shot just to piss off the referee and further the crowds rage.~
Smith: The referee just warned Grenier!
Hood: Bob doesn’t give a fuck about “Rules”. Why would he? He’s Bob Fuckin’ Grenier!
~The referee checks on Josie then allows her to get back to her feet after she’s untangled. Bob slides back in the ring. The referee warns him again sternly diverting Grenier’s attention for just a brief moment. Barnes climbs to the middle rope just behind the two men. She waits for Bob to turn patiently. Grenier turns toward the turnbuckle and she leaps off! The diving DDT causes the crowd to pop. Barnes gets right back up to her feet. Bob gets to one knee but before he can stand up, Josie charges in with a brutal shining wizard! Grenier hits the mat in a pile. Barnes follows up with a quick pin!~
1!
2!
Smith: KICKOUT! Barnes “almost” picked up a win right there.
Hood: Almost? Too bad we aren’t throwing horse shoes. That might have counted for something.
~Josie hits the mat with complete frustration. Grenier staggers back to his feet. Barnes is angry by the kickout but she turns to follow up immediately. She charges at Bob but he ducks and takes off toward the opposite ropes himself! Grenier bounces off the ropes then they meet in the center of the ring. The bicycle kick takes Barnes off her feet, she turns a complete flip! The shot wows the crowd leading them to pop. Grenier quickly follows up with a standing moonsault!~
Smith: Bob is in complete control now!
Hood: He needs to pin her! What is he doing? Uh-oh… O’Gorman’s Noose!
~Bob applies his version of the dragon sleeper with surgeon like precision. The maneuver leaves Barnes looking up at the bright lights without anywhere to go! The crowd waits patiently for a tap.~
Hood: He’s got it locked in! She may tap here!
Smith: They are close to the ropes but she’s still got a way to go!
~Josie reaches for the ropes with her free arm. She’s one foot exactly away. Bob continues apply pressure as Barnes sits down flat on the mat to counter Grenier’s attempt to wrap his legs around her. She kicks her left foot out and hits the rope! The referee misses it but he does see her next attempt. He breaks the hold. Grenier loses his mind over the break!~
Smith: Grenier is upset. She did just kick the rope.
Hood: Are you challenging our referee? What. The. Fuck?
Smith: No not at all. I can understand his frustration.
~Josie holds her neck after the referee rushes in to break the hold. She rolls out of the ring quickly to catch her breath. Grenier continues to argue with the referee over the break.~
Hood: Grenier is losing focus here. While Josie recovers on the outside, he continues to argue his point with Scruff.
Smith: Josie just hopped back up on the apron!
~Bob continues with the referee while Barnes climbs on to the top turnbuckle from the apron. Grenier finally gives it up and turns around! Josie hits a diving neckbreaker! The crowd pops as she hooks a leg!~
1!
2!
Hood: KICKOUT! That is twice now she nearly pinned Bob in this match.
Smith: She’s a fight but Bob may be crazy. He has no quit in him ever.
~Josie gets back to her feet after the kick out, obviously frustrated. Grenier gets back to his feet and charges at Barnes! She catches him for a crowd pleasing Barnes Experience! The crowd pops as he hits the mat. Josie thinks about a pin but then decides against it. Unsure of herself, she slides out of the ring.~
Smith: Why didn’t she go for the pin?
Hood: I think Bobby G has gotten into her head, man. She has been unable to get that three in this match.
Smith: What is she doing?
~Josie pulls a ladder from underneath the ring skirt. The crowd pops as she pulls it out. She stands the ladder up on the outside of the ring!~
Hood: Can she get disqualified for this?
Smith: No… Not unless she actually hits him with that ladder. I think she is looking for more height here than the top turnbuckle can give her.
Hood: Crazy Bitch. I like it.
~Josie climbs the ladder after situating it just right. The crowd waits impatiently as she finally gets to the top. Barnes takes a deep breath then dives off! The rounding moonsault is caught by camera flashes all over the arena. Grenier leaps to his feet as she jumps off! He snatches her out of the air then uses her momentum against her in a picture perfect backbreaker! The crowd pops from the spectacular counter by Grenier! Bob wants a pin but Barnes rolls out of the ring! She holds her back then spits up a small glob of blood on the middle ring step.~
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!
Smith: Barnes may be hurt.
Hood: Gross. People use those steps!
~Bob quickly glides through the ropes. He ends up standing on the apron. Josie wipes the blood from her lips then looks around for Grenier. He catches her with a flying neckbreaker off the apron! The maneuver causes even further damage to Josie’s possible internal injuries. Grenier gets back to his feet quickly then grapples Josie up. Bobby G then tosses her back into the ring. He walks over to the steps to work the crowd! He slips on the glob of blood Josie spit up! Grenier twists his knee and simply can’t believe it.~
Hood: Ha. What the hell? I told you people used those steps.
Smith: She spit up blood there and he slipped in it! That was misstep on his part for sure.
~Grenier gets up to his feet then hobbles up the steps after twisting his knee. Josie is still hurting, now in the center of the ring laid out on her back. Bob hits his knee and shakes it attempting to walk it off. The referee comes in to check on him and Bob ignores Scruff. Josie gets to one knee and notices Grenier is hobbled now. She stands up to both feet then charges at Bob! Grenier quickly hooks her for a vertical suplex! The maneuver shakes the entire ring. Grenier gets back to his feet but is obviously protecting his injured knee now.~
Smith: Bob is hurt and I believe Josie may be seriously injured inside.
Hood: Well she’s gonna have to fight through it to win this Mix Match.
~Bobby G walks over slowly to Josie then takes her up by the hair of the head. Barnes is dazed as he hooks her for a Argentine Powerbomb! The maneuver leads the crowd to pop! Grenier hooks a leg as quick as he possibly can!~
1!
2!
Smith: KICKOUT! Bob Grenier was a split second away from winning this match!
Hood: Bobby G has hurt his knee. He wanted to end this one right there.
~Grenier glows red with anger and frustration. He stands up and begins kicking Josie in the rib cage! He further injures her insides when he notices the ladder she stood up outside the ring. Bob glances at the tall ladder then back at Josie. The crowd loves it and begins to get louder when Grenier heads for the side of the ring where the ladder is located. He rolls out of the ring careful to not bang his injured knee against the mat.~
Hood: Josie may have signed her own death warrant when she took that ladder out from under the ring.
~Bobby G looks up at the ladder after he gets to the outside alongside it. He begins to climb as the crowd cheers him on. Bob gets to the top and works the crowd a bit. The referee begins his count on Grenier. He looks around the large crowd then stands up on the ladder. Josie doesn’t move, still laid out on her back in the ring. Grenier dives off the top turnbuckle deliver a spectacular 450 splash! The crowd comes unglued after he hits it!~
Smith: WHAT A MOVE! Both wrestlers are now laid out in the center of the ring.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!
Hood: The referee has slid out of the ring. He knocks the ladder over but it’s too late now. They both have used it already in this match!
Smith: Josie is not moving and Bob just flinched but that was it.
~The referee slides in the ring. He begins his count on both the fallen wrestlers.~
Hood: The referee begins his count. This could be a double countout.
Smith: No way! It can’t end that way!
Hood: Jesus Fuckin’ Christ! It’s just a simple observation, Smith. I’m not reading the future over here like Miss Cleo with a generic jamaican accent.
~Grenier and Barnes reach their feet simultaneously. Barnes charges at Grenier for a spear...he catches her! He lifts her up and drops her on her head with Hollinger Park Hangman!! Grenier goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner....BOB GRENIER!!!!!
Smith: Grenier with the win! Huge win for Bob as he continues to set the tone in his division
Hood: It's down to Mack and Bob in that division...should be exciting to see how it turns out
Smith: Indeed...
~Seductive music plays again. The women groan. The men groan as well...but for different reasons. A very slutty woman takes center stage...she begins to dance. Her name appears at the bottom of the screen~
Hood: This girl as 'IT', Smith
Smith: I don't know about that...she seems, well...unfit for mainstream television
Hood: Got any singles?
Smith: I do not!
Hood: Boooo
~Jizzele's routine ends and she saunters to the back~
Smith: Well that was a complete waste of time
Hood: Speak for yourself!
Smith: Let's head down to ringside as Lukas Emery and Mack O'Connor square off in a vital Mix match for Lukas Emery
Mack O’Connor(19-3) vs. Lukas Emery(7-3)
~The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as “Bartholomew” by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system~.
~“Oh my God, please help me.
Knee deep in the river trying to get clean.
He says wash your hands, get out the stains.
But ya best believe boy there’s hell to pay.
Yeah ya best believe boy there’s hell to payyy!”~
Hood: If we measured entrances like we do dicks, Emery’s would be a foot long.
Smith: What?
Hood: Just go with it.
~The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates and are of the stage, and Lukas Emery slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans~
Belvedere: Introducing First, from Cardiff, Wales… He is the OH SHIT! Contract Holder! Now residing in London, England, Lukas Emery!
Smith: Emery is a real rising talent here in OCW.
Hood: Here comes the OCW PARADIGM CHAMP!
~As his music hits, he walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business.~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is OCW Paradigm Champion…Mack O’Connor!
Hood: Mack is an intimidating figure. He always looks like he is ready to fight.
Smith: Well he’s ready to go here tonight. Here comes the referee to explain the rules of the matchup.
~Mack and Emery begin to circle each other slowly. Both watching the other close. The fans explode when they finally lock up in the center of the ring!~
Hood: Ohhhhhh Yeah!
Smith: Macho Man?
Hood: What? I’m not sure he exists in this universe.
Smith: Oh.
~Emery knees Mack in the ribcage winning the first exchange. He irish whips O’Connor into the ropes. He catches him for a drop toe hold, slamming Mack head first into the mat! Lukas quickly hooks a leg!~
1!
Hood: Kickout! Lukas Emery isn’t playing around tonight.
~Emery gets to one knee quickly. Mack stands up but Lukas pulls him back toward the mat with an extended knee! The backbreaker causes O’Connor to writhe in pain on the mat on his stomach. Emery quickly follows up with a crossface!~
Smith: Emery has a game plan. He is working that back like a whore at the bunny ranch!
Hood: What?!?
~Lukas pulls with all his might on Mack’s head. The maneuver bends the back and neck of O’Connor. The Paradigm Champion reaches out for the ropes! He reaches but they are slightly out of reach. Emery continues to punish Mack as the referee comes in close to watch for a potential tap.~
Hood: Mack is so close to the ropes. Lukas is working this crowd.
Smith: I beg to differ. I think Emery could care less about the crowd. He is looking for a win.
~Emery continues to hold the crossface on. Mack digs in and pulls both men toward the ropes. Lukas tries to fight off Mack’s progress but fails miserably. O’Connor grabs the bottom rope and the referee rushes in to break the hold.~
Smith: Mack breaks it!
Hood: That back has taken some damage in the opening moments of this match up though. He needs to mount some offense!
~Lukas gets back to his feet after being forced to release the hold. Emery grapples O’Connor to his feet. Mack suddenly comes to life from being dazed and kicks Lukas in the gut! Emery bends over slightly and O’Connor hooks him for Hollow Point! The maneuver nearly bounces Lukas out of the ring. He catches himself on the bottom rope but is obviously dazed. O’Connor watches as Emery hits a knee then follows up by rushing in with a big knee smash! This knocks Lukas out of the ring between the middle and bottom ropes! The crowd pops as Mack follows up by backing up until he touches the ropes behind him. Emery gets back to his feet fairly quick on the outside. Soon as Mack notices Lukas pop his head up, he takes off running at him! O’Connor dives through the top and middle ropes in a suicide dive! Mack catches Emery in the chest driving him back onto the ramp! The crowd pops when O’Connor lands on his feet after the aerial maneuver.~
Hood: This crowd is pro-Mack all the way. Sheep.
Smith: O’Connor has earned the respect of this crowd week in and week out.
Hood: Ha.
~Mack holds his back as he charges up the ramp after Emery. Lukas stands up slow and wobbles a bit. He catches his balance just as O’Connor reaches him. The two men begin exchanging punches on the steel ramp! O’Connor hits Lukas with a right hook then a left jab. Emery falls back on his heels a bit and Mack elbows him under the chin! The elbow uppercut nearly busts Lukas’s jaw.~
Smith: Emery does not want to box with Mack.
Hood: O’Connor is a trained boxer.
~Mack follows up by grappling up Lukas. He pulls him to his feet but Emery counters! He wraps both of his arms around O’Connor then drops back! The body to body suplex on the steel ramp leads the crowd to pop. Lukas pops up slowly after hitting the steel ramp too. O’Connor stirs slightly after Emery gets to his feet. The referee’s count has reached five.~
Hood: They better get back in the ring!
Smith: I think Lukas just realized they are both about to be counted out.
Hood: Lukas has Mack back on his feet now.
~Emery irish whips O’Connor toward the ring! Mack rushes toward the ring but before he can hit the apron with real force, he shuffles his feet and slides in the ring. O’Connor breaks the count and gets to his feet. The crowd goes wild as Mack encourages Lukas to bring it on from inside the ring.~
Smith: Mack may have been playing possum there.
Hood: He’s a goddamn liar!
~Emery runs to the ring and walks up the steps. He slowly slides through the ropes then walks up to face Mack, nose to nose. O’Connor headbutts him in the face! The shot breaks Lukas’s nose and his eyes water up. Mack realizes Emery is blind for the moment and begins to light him up with punch combinations. He works Lukas all the way across the ring to the corner! The crowd goes wild for O’Connor.~
Hood: He broke his goddamn nose, man!
Smith: It’s crooked.
Hood: Well it’s an improvement. Now he looks like a wrestler and not a guest star for Dawson’s Creek.
Smith: Old Old Old reference.
~Emery hits the corner with a thud! Mack has him covered him and still hitting him with lefts and rights. Lukas uses a small opening in the onslaught to catch the Paradigm Champ with a sharp knee to the gut! Emery then uses a headlock takedown to get Mack down! Lukas takes hold of one of O'Connor's hands behind his back then the other. Emery drives his left knee into the back of Mack!~
Smith: Lukas Emery continues to put the strain on O’Connor’s back! He will not let up.
Hood: He has his target in sight.
~Lukas begins to knee Mack in the back over and over. O’Connor hits the mat after the fourth violent knee shot to his already injured back. Emery rubs his broken nose that will need set after the match. Blood pours from his injured nose but he pays it little attention.~
Hood: Emery is bleeding like a stuck pig.
Smith: How many pigs have you stuck?
Hood: Many after last call. Many...
Smith: That’s body shaming.
Hood: Save that shit for your safe space, Smith.
~Lukas follows up by dragging Mack over to the center of the ring. He hooks him for a sharp shooter! O’Connor immediately begins to flail his arms about on the mat. He reaches for the ropes but they are too far. Emery continues to sit further down on Mack’s back to apply pressure!~
Smith: Emery is sticking to the game plan.
Hood: Mack looks like he is fading here.
~O’Connor continues to reach for the ropes but his attempt has slowed to a creep. The pain is just too great. Mack stops moving as he lays his head flat on the mat. The referee comes in to lift up his right arm. He lifts it up and O’Connor’s lifeless arm hits the mat. The referee slowly lifts the same arm once again. SMACK! The arm hits the mat once more.~
Hood: If it hits again that’s it!
Smith: The referee is lifting it the third and final time up off the mat.
~The ref drops the arm for the final time. A split second before it smacks the mat, Mack comes to life! He holds his arm up not allowing it to smack the mat again. The referee continues to watch on close for a tap. O’Connor begins to drag himself and Emery toward the ropes. Lukas tries in vain to fight off his attempt. The crowd cheers Mack on!~
Smith: The Paradigm Champion refuses to tap. Emery has punished his lower back and still he refuses!
Hood: I don’t know… He hasn’t reached those ropes yet.
~Mack continues to drag both men toward the bottom rope. Finally he reaches out and nabs it!~
Hood: The referee breaks the hold! O’Connor makes it to the bottom rope but they took its toll.
Smith: Major toll.
~Emery releases the hold but follows up by getting Mack back to his feet. O’Connor gets up then rams his elbow into the ribcage of Lukas! The shot takes all the air from Emery’s lungs. Mack takes hold of Lukas then performs a sidewalk slam! O’Connor hits the ropes then bounces back at the fallen Emery! He stops short then drives a knee into Lukas’s throat! Mack hooks a leg quickly!~
1!
2!
Hood: KICKOUT BY LUKAS!
Smith: Close one, though.
~Mack gets back to his feet and is still holding his lower back. Lukas is completely dazed shaking his head on the mat to catch his bearings. O’Connor pulls up Emery by the hair of his head. The referee warns against it and Mack listens. Lukas staggers around when O’Connor catches him! Mack irish whips him into the corner with real force! He follows off by taking off toward the corner full speed. The ensuing splash leads the crowd to pop! O’Connor catches Emery before he can hit the mat and hooks him for the Claymore! Emery fights it off with all he’s got! He escapes and rolls out of the ring. The referee begins his count while the veteran grins at Lukas to taunt.~
Smith: Lukas needs a breather here. Mack almost hit him with his finishing maneuver.
Hood: Emery can’t win outside of the ring! GET BACK IN, PUNK!
~O’Connor makes room for the OH SHIT contract holder to get back in the ring. Soon as Emery slides back in, Mack attacks! O’Connor rushes in but Emery ducks the clothesline attempt. He catches Mack with a swinging neck breaker! Both men hit the mat. Blood drips from Lukas’s nose as he gets to his feet. Emery quickly grapples up Mack then irish whips him into the corner. He then takes off toward O’Connor full speed! The turnbuckle enziguri causes the crowd to pop. Lukas follows up by setting Mack up for a swinging reverse STO. He hits the Light of Emery! The crowd goes wild as he hooks a leg!~
1!
2!
Smith: KICKOUT! Wow… That was close.
Hood: Now Emery is arguing the count. He thought he had the Paradigm Champion there. No dice.
~The referee attempts in vain to explain the count to Emery. Lukas is completely frustrated by Mack kicking out to his finishing maneuver.~
Hood: Emery needs to follow up here. He is outraged because he thought that was a three count.
Smith: Well it was not.
Hood: I know I was here.
~O’Connor somehow gets to his feet in a complete daze. He wobbles around the ring and Lukas notices him out of the corner of his eye. Emery charges him full speed! Soon as he reaches Mack, Emery gets hooked for The Claymore! The entire ring shakes as both men fall lifeless to the mat. The referee begins his count.~
Smith: WOW! What a counter by The Paradigm Champ! Now both men are down.
Hood: Both men are dazed on the mat. Mack stirs slightly!
~O’Connor slowly begins to move. Emery has yet to move. The two men finally both stir then slowly begin to crawl toward each other on the mat. The crowd goes wild as the referee’s count reaches 3.~
Hood: They are both awake! That is a slight improvement.
Smith: They are both completely exhausted.
~Mack slowly gets to one knee as does Emery. They stand up, face to face. The crowd awaits the next move of either star impatiently. They crowd erupts as both men start swapping licks. Emery rocks Mack with a right then O’Connor rocks him back with a left.~
Smith: How are they still standing?!?
Hood: It’s pure will at this point.
~Mack suddenly hooks Lukas for Claymore!! The crowd leaps to their feet. Lukas recklessly throws his head into Mack's! Mack weakens...Lukas reaches up, snaring Mack's head and bending him backward...he then drops him with Light of Emery!! The crowd reacts in shock. Lukas goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...LUKAS EMERY!!!!!
Smith: What an upset!
Hood: Our first MAJOR Mix upset!
Smith: Indeed...Mack has been sailing smoothly...until tonight
Hood: Fucking Lukas just showed us all why he seemed destined for greatest at the start of the summer
Smith: Indeed...this win could get him back on track
~The seductive music plays once again. The entire group comes out...they hop and dance and gyrate. The women leave in droves~
Smith: This seems to have a damaging effect on our female audience
Hood: They aren't real fans anyway...it's because of them we've got weirdos like Alice Knight
Smith: Rude!
~The music ends and the girls head backstage~
Smith: Alright, it's time for our next match!
Five Way Elimination
OCW Ascension Title Shot
Bradley Carrington (8-3) vs. Julliet Brooks (5-2) vs. Kira Phoenix (3-0) vs. The Lost Soul (3-0) vs. Wulf Erikson (2-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a Five Way Elimination Match…the winner will receive an OCW Ascension Championship match on Monday, September 4th!
~”Broken” by Evanescence begins to play. The fans watch the strange, unique Kira Phoenix emerge from behind the curtain. She makes her way down the ramp, climbs up the steps and enters into the ring, through the ropes~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Richmond, Virginia…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 135lbs…Kira Phoenix!!!
~The audience goes BERSERK as both the ramp and stage flicker neon green strobe when the opening bars of 'Invincible' kick out through the PA.. The crowd gets even louder as Wulf comes bursting out through the curtains, yelling at each side of the stage to get louder and then letting out a howl at the top of the ramp, before Wulf leaps up onto the barricade wall and starts making his way down to ringside along the guard rail! As Wulf makes his way along the barricade wall, he leaps from one barricade to another, performing an impressive parkour display before finally reaching ringside, where he 'skins the cat' to another ovation, hits a standing moonsault back to his feet and then starts running the ropes in anticipation of his opponent~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Roswell, New Mexico…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 181lbs…Wulf Erikson!!!
~The Friday the 13th theme rings throughout the arena. Fans look toward the entrance ramp…a few pussies in the crowd shiver with fright. TLS appears and makes his way down the ramp. His face paint is ON POINT. He climbs up the steps and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Parts Unknown, standing 6’3 and weighing in at 235lbs….The Lost Soul!!!
~"Down" by Otep hits and out walks Julliet Brooks onto the stage to a chorus of cheers from the audience, simply smiling from ear to ear, and continued to walk down the ramp. Once there she claps some fans hands at ringside then runs and slides underneath the ropes, soaking up the positive reaction. After she leans against the ropes and looks toward the entrance way, showing no intimidation to her upcoming opponent~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Albuquerque, New Mexico…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…Julliet Brooks!!
~Bradley Carrington steps onto the stage, wearing a grey t shirt that says "Carrington" in red letters on it, the 'C' has a graduate cap over it. He is reading a copy of his book: "Being the Best at Everything, the Bradley Carrington Story". He pauses, as if he is moved by his own writing, before closing the book and walking towards the ring. As he approaches the ring, he picks a fan in the front row, signs the book, and hands it to them. He jumps onto the ring apron, climbs in between the ropes, and poses for photos from his adoring fan AND wife, Autumn. He removes his t shirt and waits for the match to begin~
Belvedere: And, finally, the fifth and final participants…from Ithaca, New York…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs… “Professor” Bradley Carrington!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Some quality star power in that ring, Hood. We’ve got a worldwide star in Jullet Brooks…one of the top up and coming wrestlers in the industry in Wulf Erikson…July’s Newcomer of the Month in Kira Phoenix…former OCW Ascension Champion The Lost Soul AND Bradley Carrington
Hood: HEY! Don’t you besmirch the Professor!
Smith: Sorry, I admit, that was somewhat low. Carrington has won his fair share of trophies and championships
Hood: He’s fucking due for one here…this is Carrington’s time to shine!
Smith: Right…well, all of the competitors are in the ring but there is no ref!
Hood: Maybe he's in the crapper. The food backstage earlier seemed a bit suspect. WEAK ASS CATERING!
~Suddenly "Party Hard" hits the speakers as the fans go nuts. Zybala walks out from the curtain sporting a ref shirt~
Smith: I guess we have a special referee for the match.
Hood: NOOO! This jerk is going to screw over the Professor!! How could Welsh allow this???
~Zybala makes his way to the ring and slides in. Carrington looks visibly upset with the new ref while everyone else looks confused or slightly amused. Zybala checks Brookes for weapons. After checking her boots and elbow pads he turns to the next wrestler. He pauses and counts the remaining four people. Zybala looks disgruntled, says screwing and calls for the bell, starting the match~
Hood: What a lazy ass! Though maybe he just wanted to cop a feel on Brookes.
Smith: I highly doubt that. He doesn't want to have a H.R. incident.
Hood: Plus Brookes probably would have kicked him in the nuts.
~Brooks has her sights set on Carrington. She heads in his direction. Phoenix blindsides Julliet near the center of the ring, taking her down with a spear! Carrington leans back in his corner. Erikson goes after TLS…he rushes the former Ascension Champion with punches and kicks, trapping him in a corner. Carrington notices this. The Professor decides to step out of the ring and mingle with his fan~
Smith: This guy will do anything to avoid competition
Hood: I don’t know what you’re talking about…he’s in high profile matches every week
Smith: Look at him…he’s just going to stand outside while the other four competitors rip each other apart
Hood: And that’s bad because….
~Kira is all over Brooks with wild, uncontrolled punches. There might even be a bit of hair pulling. Brooks, realizing she’s getting mauled, calms down and re-works the positioning. She’s finally able to secure Kira in a side headlock. She rolls Kira onto her back, keeping the frenzied woman quarantined. Wulf, meanwhile, continues to traumatize TLS’ neck by sending his head flying in all different directions with kicks and strikes. Bradley appears to be discussing physics with a fat, grease stained fan~
Smith: A lot going on…as is the case in five person match ups. I’ll just say that Brooks and Wulf look strong at the moment.
Hood: Nice to see The Professor attempting to provide wisdom to our idiotic fanbase
Smith: Oh yea, I’m sure he’s doing so straight from the heart, Hood.
Hood: He’s a true humanitarian.
~TLS squeezes his way out of the corner. Wulf proceeds to kick him in the back of the legs. TLS stops, leaning against the ropes, bending his leg at the knee from pain. Wulf remains light on his feet…he throws a spinning heel kick…TLS catches him! TLS tosses Wulf over his head, over the top rope and all the way to the floor with a Capture Suplex!! Wulf lands hard! TLS bends over, catching his breath~
Smith: Excellent veteran move by The Lost Soul…he may not have the hype surrounding him that Wulf does…but the man is a veteran who has won a lot of high profile matches
Hood: Yep and he’s done so with face paint
Smith: Well, yea, that’s true
Hood: You ever consider it isn’t face paint? Like, maybe it’s just a really elaborate tattoo…shit never runs, ya know
Smith: It’s face paint
~Julliet returns to her feet with Kira trapped in a headlock like an older sibling picking on a younger one. Kira yells, she tries to bite Julliet, but is unable to achieve the task. Something distracts Julliet. She looks out into the crowd. Our camera zooms in that direction, to pick up what’s taking place. However, whatever it was, is gone~
Smith: What did she see?
Hood: A vision?
Smith: Perhaps
Hood: Is Julliet reaching a higher level of existence?
Smith: I’m unable to say
~During Julliet’s distraction The Lost Soul clotheslines Brookes over the top rope and turns around to go after another, opponent but is met with a wicked superkick from Phoenix~
Smith: This could be it!! That was a great superkick!
Hood: Go for it Kira!!
~Phoenix goes for the pin but Zybala just stands there. Kira growls and get up from TLS and gets in Zybala's face~
Phoenix: What the fuck are you doing?!?
Zybala: Not wasting my time!
Phoenix: The fuck you mean??!?
Zybala: You weren't winning with that WEAKASS Superkick. Look! He's already moving.
~Phoenix turns to see TLS has already got to his knees. Grumbling, she returns to the assault. Zybala, knowing no one is getting a pin anytime soon, rolls from the ring and calls a vendor over and orders three beers. He pays the person and walks to the announce table and gives Hood and Smith a beer each, then takes a drink from the third one and walks back to the ring~
Smith: I will not drink on the job, thank you very much
Hood: Sweet…can I have…YOU DICK
Smith: What?
Hood: You didn’t have to pour it out!
Smith: You don’t need any more than what you’ve already got
Hood: Asshole
~Brooks and Erikson re-enter the ring. Wulf goes after Julliet but receives a boot into the gut. TLS, meanwhile, drops Kira with a knee lift. TLS spots Brooks standing in front of a doubled over Wulf Erikson. Brookes and TLS lift Erikson up with a Suplex and drop him with a double brain buster! TLS quickly gets to his feet, grabs Brookes and throws him from the ring. He quickly then goes for the pin. Zybala is in position~
Zybala: One!..... Two!..... Oww!
~Before the third count, Zybala grabs his shoulder and grimaces in pain as TLS looks confused~
Zybala: Sorry, old masturbation injury.
~The fans give a mixture of cheering, boos, and laughter. TLS looks livid~
Smith: What the hell is Zybala doing?!
Hood: Hey! Don't take lightly the lasting effects a masturbation injury can take on the body, especially a wrestlers body that isn't allowed to properly heal. Take it from me, the struggle is real!
Smith: Why do I bother?
~While TLS is yelling at Zybala, Erikson, who has recovered, sneaks up from behind and rolls TLS up in a school boy. Zybala just stands there rubbing his shoulder. Wulf looks at Zybala and releases the pin. Erikson gives Zybala an understanding nod and turns to find another opponent~
Hood: Wulf seems to be sympathetic to Zybala's plight.
Smith: I'm dreaming. This has to be a dream.
~Julliet gets SPEARED by Kira!! The spear slams Julliet’s back into the ropes. Kira does a back somersault, returning to her feet. Brooks staggers forward…Kira rushes forward, turns around and drops Brooks with an RKO!!! Brooks flips over, onto her back. Kira goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: What a shock! Julliet Brooks has been eliminated by Kira Phoenix!
Hood: Holy shit…so much for that higher existence bullshit. She just let a rookie pin her
Smith: She didn’t let anything happen. She got distracted and then stunned by a very talented newcomer. That combination by Kira, by the way, is a move she calls Show Stopping, Jaw Dropping, Punishing End.
Hood: Wow, that’s a mouthful
Smith: It is one of the longer names on the roster
~Brooks rolls out of the ring, disappointed. Her disappointment turns toward determination. She heads up the ramp eager to locate the source of her distraction. TLS runs over Kira with a clothesline to the back of the head! Kira falls face first into the mat. Unfortunately for the rookie, she made the critical mistake of watching Julliet head to the back. TLS kicks Phoenix out of the ring, under the bottom rope. He hops through the ropes, landing on the outside floor~
Smith: You cannot take your focus off the competition until the very end in these matches…that’s something Kira will learn as she continues to grow in-ring
Hood: I’m not so sure…I mean she is dating, fucking…whatever you want to call it, Tommy Crimson
Smith: So?
Hood: So…it means she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer
~TLS grabs Kira’s hair…but stalls. He notices Carrington lecturing a bunch of fans at ringside. TLS drops Kira and heads that way. He taps Carrington on the shoulder. Autumn turns around first, her eyes widen. Carrington shakes his head, furious that his lecture has been interrupted. He turns around and is met with a vicious right hand to the head!! Carrington staggers against the barricade! The fans at ringside go wild! They chant-sing the Alice Cooper hit “SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER”! TLS seems to punch in rhythm with the singing~
Smith: There we go! Make that man compete!
Hood: TLS just adding to the downfall of society…I guess he wants the people of this country to be moronic
Smith: This isn’t a college classroom...this is a wrestling match. If he were doing this in the middle of a Cornell lecture then I might agree
Hood: Who’s to say he won’t? First this…then what? WHERE DOES IT END, SMITH?
~TLS has Carrington reeling against the barricade. It’s a scene befitting a lopsided boxing match. Haymaker after haymaker finds its mark. TLS pauses…Carrington bends over at the waist, about to fall over. Autumn has created some distance from the situation. TLS winds up, ready for more punches…before he can fire another one off, something leaps from behind, latching onto his back. It’s a very angry, agitated Kira Phoenix!! She’s attached like a vicious backpack, clawing at the neck and face of TLS. TLS stumbles around, attempting to prevent any vital body parts from being harmed, irreparably~
Smith: The bellicose Kira Phoenix at again…she’s as crazy as she is cute
Hood: Got a thing for Kira, eh?
Smith: I didn’t say that
Hood: Alice Knight takes a few weeks off and you’re all of a sudden fully torqued over some other broad.
Smith: Totally inaccurate
~TLS reaches back and manages to snare a firm grasp of Kira’s head. He whips her over, trying to toss her to the floor. Her ass lands atop the barricade. TLS staggers back. He spots Kira’s vulnerable position and moves forward…Kira displays tremendous balance in being able to get to her feet and leap into the air, backwards. She lands on TLS’ shoulders. TLS staggers around, unexpectedly. Kira claws at his face~
Smith: I know I’ve said this on more than one occasion…but Kira is vicious
Hood: I think she’s trying to solve the mystery…is it face paint OR is it a tattoo…
Smith: For the last time, it’s face paint!
Hood: Hmm…I guess we’ll have to wait and find out
~TLS turns, facing the ring. As she does, we see Wulf near the ropes…Wulf leaps up, onto the top rope…he springboards off, lunging toward Kira. He wraps his legs around Kira’s head and rips her off TLS’ shoulders with a hurricanrana!! They both CRASH into the barricade with a sickening thud! TLS falls to his knees from the momentum. Carrington, several feet away, surveys the damage, recovering from the TLS punches~
Smith: What a move! A bit reckless and slightly short sighted but, wow…Wulf is a tremendous athlete
Hood: That he is, Smith…or, was, I guess…I think he’s dead
Smith: Let’s hope not…a bright future remains ahead for Mr. Erikson
Hood: If you mean that heavenly light after you die…then, yea, I agree!
~TLS returns to his feet. His back is to Carrington. Bradley seizes the moment, he rushes in and knees TLS in the back! He grabs the head of TLS and yanks back…he drops TLS to the floor with an inverted DDT! He returns to his feet and reaches for Wulf, who is beginning to stir. He tosses Wulf into the ring, rolling in behind him~
Smith: Oh NOW he wants to fight
Hood: That was revenge for the assault by TLS…he assaulted Carrington
Smith: He’s picking his spots…a cowardly tactic
Hood: You always get cowardly and intelligent confused. Or do you think smart people are cowards?
~Carrington pulls Wulf to his feet. He hooks Erikson’s head and drops him with a swift DDT. He pops back to his feet and heads to a corner. Carrington reaches the top, he looks down and leaps off with the PhD Press (Shooting Star Press)! He connects! Carrington remains on top of Wulf for the pin, Zybala makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. Wulf is helped out of the ring and to the back. Carrington pops to his feet in celebration~
Smith: Calm down…you haven’t won anything, yet
Hood: He just pinned the hottest rookie in professional wrestling…of course this calls for a celebration
Smith: Two other opponents remain…far too early to be celebrating. As for Wulf…you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Those high risk maneuvers are flashy but they carry a great amount of risk and danger with them.
Hood: Yea, but tomorrow people will remember the move. So, in a sense, it works
~Carrington doesn’t have long to celebrate. A hand reaches in, hanging him by the foot. Carrington falls face first into the mat. TLS slides in. He pulls Carrington near the center of the ring and locks in a Camel Clutch! Carrington winces…his back is arched into a crescent. His legs kick…his arms reach out…but he’s too far from the ropes~
Smith: Camel Clutch by TLS…a painful submission. The thing about a Camel Clutch is that even if you don’t get a submission…it still weakens an opponent’s back
Hood: Hard to fight without a back
Smith: Hard to do ANYTHING without a back
Hood: I guess that’s why they call losers spineless
~TLS is relentless in his pursuit of a tap out. Our view shifts…we get a glimpse behind TLS. We spot a rising Phoenix…KIRA PHOENIX, that is. She’s on the apron…she hops up, springboards off the top rope and dropkicks TLS in the back!! TLS releases his told, falling to the side. Carrington rolls onto his back, reaching for it in pain. Kira gets to her knees, smiling~
Smith: Great move by Kira to break up that submission…nice to see she’s still alive
Hood: I guess…but if TLS taps Carrington out that helps Kira
Smith: True…so slightly impulsive on her end
Hood: Crazy bitch
~Kira grabs TLS and tosses him into the corner. TLS is reeling. Kira fires up….the fans don’t behind her because she’s crazy. Kira charges forward~
Smith: Kira looking for her finisher!
Hood: Fucking hell!
~Kira charges in! TLS dodges…falling to his side. Kira’s head SLAMS into the ring post. A giant PING is heard! Kira’s body goes limp. TLS rolls her up….Zybala slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings. Kira’s body is removed from the ring and taken to the back. TLS returns to his feet, staring at Carrington who is seated in a corner, his upper half leaning against a bottom buckle~
Smith: Well now it’s down to TLS and Carrington
Hood: Holy shit I am hammered
Smith: I can tell…hold it together!!
~Carrington returns to his feet. The corner is behind him. TLS charges in, lightly grazing Zybala, who falls like a ton of bricks and lays prone~
Smith: What the actual hell?!?
Hood: The Professor threw TLS with such force it created a sonic boom that has knocked out Zybala. That's the strength of a Cornell Man!! Anything could happen now!
Smith: I don't think there were any dqs in this match. Anything was already able to happen.
Hood: Then why hasn't it??
Smith: ..... I have no idea.
~Carrington rolls TLS up, who stares at the mysteriously injured Zybala. Zybala doesn’t move. Carrington has TLS pinned for quite awhile. Finally, he lets go and storms to his feet. He hovers over Zybala, contemplating whether or not to assault the ‘injured’ man~
Smith: A little tomfoolery from Mike Zybala!
Hood: What a joke!
Smith: Indeed…I find it to be quite funny
Hood: You would!
~Carrington slowly lifts his leg to stomp on Zybala. Before he can, TLS rolls Carrington up!! Zybala instantly springs to life, making the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: TLS NEARLY pulled it off!
Hood: WEAK ASS SPECIAL REFFING!
~Both men reach their feet at the same time. TLS jumps and nails Carrington with a high knee! Carrington’s body slams into the corner and bounces off. He falls to all fours. TLS notices and begins climbing to the top~
Smith: TLS with a great knee!
Hood: He kneeds to pay attention
Smith: To what?
Hood: Stuff!!
~TLS reaches the top. Carrington is on all fours. TLS composes…he leaps off with SOULED OUT! Carrington moves!! TLS’ ass hits the mat! He squirms in pain. Carrington throws his legs into the equation and takes advantage by locking in the Cornell Clutch!!! TLS reaches around, grasping for the ropes~
Smith: Cornell Clutch…what a move!
Hood: I guess…throw your legs into someone’s throat….yea, sure that’ll get the job done
Smith: You sound like you aren’t sold
Hood: I’m just kinda drunk
~TLS wiggles and writhes. He reaches the ropes! The fans react positively~
Smith: TLS got the ropes!
Hood: Well hooray for functioning arms!
~Carrington yanks TLS back into the center of the ring. He wiggles and writhes…he tries to reach the ropes but they are too far away. He taps!! Zybala hesitates but ultimately realizes he’s got not choice and calls for the bell~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the number one contender to the OCW Ascension Championship….BRADLEY CARRINGTON!!!!!
Smith: Carrington did it! I’m shocked! I thought The Lost Soul had it!
Hood: TLS looked great but, ultimately the man with a soul won
Smith: I guess…now Carrington is set to face Monroe for the OCW Ascension Championship…what a match that will be.
~Zybala helps Carrington to his feet. He raises Carrington’s hand in victory. Bradley looks at Zybala, unsure. He turns to his wife, on the outside, Autumn. He seeks guidance. She seems just as confused as he is. Zybala faces Carrington and extends his arms for a hug~
Smith: It appears Zybala wants to hug it out!
Hood: Watch out, Bradley…I think he’s got a knife!
Smith: He doesn’t have a knife!
~Zybala’s arms remain extended. Carrington backs away. He reaches the ropes, steps through them and hops onto the floor. The crowd boos. Zybala has a disappointed look on his face. Carrington turns and heads up the ramp with Autumn~
Smith: The head games with Zybala continue…he seems to be firmly entrenched within Carrington’s mind…and, well, he’s got this Shadow Dancer fool to deal with as well
Hood: Zybala does not know the meaning of the word monogamy!
Smith: It should be interesting to see how it unfolds.
~The Massacre girls return...they dance and gyrate...they hump chairs. It's perversely awesome. Suddenly a scream echoes throughout the arena~
~Iggy LEAPS from behind the curtain and tackles all the girls. He starts to maul them. Some resist...others GO WITH IT. Fans are chanting "IGGY" as he's attempting to have sex on OCW television~
Smith: Iggy's unchained! We need to get some help out here...there are children in the audience!
Hood: SAVE ONE FOR ME, IGGY!
Smith: He's like an animal
Hood: There's no stopping Iggy when he knows what he wants
~Nobody wants to get in between a fully torqued Iggy and the Massacre girls. Iggy’s thrusting and grunting. His pants are still on, thank goodness. The Savage title is around his waist getting more action than most of the fans. OCW officials watch with curiosity. None of the girls are resisting…they are all going with it~
Smith: We are going to get pulled from the air if something doesn’t happen
Hood: Oh, something’s about to happen alright…sumthin sumthin
Smith: I am NOT sticking around for that
Hood: STICKING!
~Suddenly GLORIOUS DOMINATION plays. The fans are confused~
Smith: What is this foreign music?
Hood: Never heard it before in my life!
~A giant crane lowers with a behemoth of a man standing atop it. He’s got his arms in the air, staring at the ceiling. Iggy continues to make out and grind against the Massacre girls. The crane lowers to the top of the ramp. The man, wearing a hood, steps off. He removes the hood to reveal BIFF! The crowd goes wild. Biff looks down at Iggy and nods. He reaches down his pants~
Smith: OH NO
~And pulls out some ham. He takes a bite and chews it up while observing Iggy’s feral dry humping~
Smith: What is he going to do? I hope he isn’t going to MURDER anyone
Hood: Nah, Bifford is a changed man. You see that? That’s MAPLE ham. He used to only eat SMOKED ham
~Biff leaps into the air and lands on top of Iggy with a splash! It also takes out all the Massacre girls. The ramp shakes. Biff returns to his feet…he grabs Iggy by the mullet and throws him into the steel setup at the top of the ramp! Iggy’s forehead BANGS against the metal. Biff snares Iggy with a Full Nelson and drops him into the steel stage with a Full Nelson slam! OCW medics rush out and drag the Massacre girls to safety~
Smith: What is he doing?! That man has a Savage Title match!
Hood: Maybe that ham tasted off
Smith: FAKE NEWS
~Biff steps back on the crane. Iggy is on his back, atop the ramp. Biff orders to be elevated. The crane goes up…Biff yells for them to stop. He motions for them to lower. They lower…he yells for them to stop…and motions for them to go up again…they do. He yells for them to stop…he asks to be lowered. The crane operator is most likely about to quit. He lowers it a bit more…Biff holds out his hand and says “PERFECT”. He grabs a lighter and ignites the flame. He brings it near his skin but pauses~
Smith: He’s trying to mock Tommy Crimson!
Hood: He’s not really going to set himself on fire, is he?
Smith: With Biff…you just never know
~Bifford spots the crane operator who is overheard saying something about Biff’s massive size. Biff throws the lighter at him…he IGNITES! The crane operator screams, running out of the crane, consumed with flames. Biff looks down at Iggy and he sort of falls off the crane, rotating onto his back with a WEAK ASS SENTON. The top of the ramp caves in under Biff’s weight!! Both men vanish amidst dust and rubble. The crowd chants HOLY SHIT~
Smith: Bifford just killed Iggy!
Hood: AND the crane operator!
Smith: He’s back on a murdering spree! We need to lock this man up immediately!
Hood: What about the match? Is it off?
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood…
~The arena lights go out. The opening guitar lick of Deftones "Engine No. 9" hits throughout. The crowd immediately reacts with boos throughout. Tommy Crimson struts across the stage to the roar. He looks down at the hole in the stage and yells “I OWN THIS!”~
Smith: Don’t tell me…we’re not…
Hood: Dude, there’s NOTHING left on the lineup card…this is it
Smith: Iggy’s getting screwed!
~Belvedere is in the ring, confused. He receives a message via his ear piece and speaks~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…I’ve just been informed that the Savage Championship match will begin immediately! Ring the bell!
~The bell rings~
OCW Savage Championship
Iggy Hardy © (12-4) vs. Tommy Crimson (5-1)
~Iggy reaches into the hole…he manages to pull Iggy up, by his mullet. He drags Iggy’s body onto a flat are and goes for a pin. Scruff slides in, making the count atop the stage~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Smith: Iggy kicked out!
Hood: Are we sure he MEANT to kick out? His body might have just seized out or something
~Bifford’s giant body emerges. He looks down at Crimson and shakes his head. He heads down the ramp, toward the announce table~
Smith: Uh oh…it appears as though we’ve got…AHHH
~Smith gets tossed aside. Biff takes a seat and grabs the headset~
Bifford: Friend Hood, how are you?
Hood: I’m doing great, Biff! You look tremendous, have you lost weight?
Bifford: No
~Crimson is irate. He yells at Scruff. Iggy is still down. Crimson snares Iggy by the hair, he drags him down the ramp and tosses him into the ring. The belt comes unhooked and falls off Iggy, laying on the mat. Crimson hops onto the apron~
Hood: I didn’t know you were such a big Crimson fan
Bifford: The biggest. Go Crimson Go!
~Crimson leaps into the air and springboards off the top rope, into the ring with a somersault leg drop. He goes for another pin. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Hood: Fucking Iggy…he’s like a coked out Zombie
Bifford: Did you see that move by Crimson? Amazing move.
~Crimson returns to his feet. He gets in Scruff’s face, angry over the count. Scruff backs into a corner, slightly intimidated by the psychotic Crimson. Iggy suddenly leaps to his feet! The crowd goes wild. Crimson turns around…Iggy sprints forward and LEAPS into the air. Scruff drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring…Iggy crushes Crimson with a Stinger Splash!! He backs up…Crimson staggers forward, Iggy catches him and throws him with an overhead belly to belly! Crimson hits hard! Iggy returns to his feet…he yells and screams…he says “BRING THE FUCKING WOMEN BACK!”~
Hood: I’m not opposed to that idea
Bifford: Who is this man? Why is he wrestling the great Tommy Crimson?
Hood: Iggy Hardy…he’s OCW’s favorite drug abuser
Bifford: I like his hair. But he’s no TOMMY CRIMSON. LET’S GO CRIMSON, LET’S GO!!
~Iggy pulls to his feet…he kicks him in the gut and hooks him for a piledriver. Iggy’s wild, wide eyes look out into the crowd. The crowd is on their feet chanting “IGGY!”~
Hood: Looks like Iggy is going for that finisher of his
Bifford: Crimson will kick out
~Iggy attempts the Purifier…Crimson, however, slams Iggy back onto the mat with an Alabama Slam!! Iggy hits hard, all his momentum is stymied. Crimson gets on top of Iggy and pummels him with lefts and rights. The crowd boos~
Hood: I don’t think that’s Iggy’s finisher
Bifford: You don’t say
~Crimson returns to his feet…he heads for the nearest corner. He climbs quickly. He looks down at Iggy, who isn’t moving. Crimson leaps off with GodBooked! He connects~
Hood: No way
Bifford: I’m surprised it took this long
~Crimson covers Iggy~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The crowd is silenced. They are stunned. The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….AND THE NEW OCW SAVAGE CHAMPION…TOMMY CRIMSON!!!!!
Hood: That was fast
Bifford: That’s what happens when you face Tommy Crimson. I think I need to go and personally congratulate the new champion
Hood: Sweet!
~Bifford leaves the announce table. He rolls into the ring. Crimson is stomping on Iggy’s body with the Savage Title over his shoulder. Bifford sneaks up and LOCKS THE BIFFORD SLEEPER onto Crimson! He rag dolls Crimson for a few moments before tossing him to the mat. Bifford snares the Savage Title and holds it into the air. We fade out~