OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, July 31st 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~A bunch of previews for movies and STARZ original programming comes to an end. The screen is black. The OCW logo flashes through…it fizzles out and we are taken to the OCW Arena! Fans are rowdy…they are raucous…they are ravenous…they are RRRRRR….oh yea. We scroll through various signs accentuating the mood – “Zybala about to be 7-0 against Carrington!” “The Professor is going to SCHOOL Zybala!” “This isn’t the SAME Tommy Crimson…is it?” “Kira is going to rise tonight!” “I am GLOWING over Meyhu’s return tonight!” “DON’T DO IT, CURT! AVOID THE DARKNESS!” “I FOUND OUT WHERE TLS BUYS HIS FACE PAINT…DOES ANYBODY HAVE EXTRA STRONG PAINT THINNER?” “THE KNIFE MAN SAVED ME HUNDREDS EARLIER TODAY…THANKS KNIFE MAN!” “I WILL SELL MACK MY KNEE!” “PURPLE VIP FOR THE WIN!” “THE LOCKWOODS TIME IS NOW!” “I CAME HERE TO SEE PERFECTLY MARVELOUS!” We cease the sign surveillance and located Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me as always is Hood
Hood: July is finally ending! Hell yea! Longest, hottest fucking month of the year
Smith: That’s right…it’s July 31st which means August is juuuuust around the corner. This being the final Massacre of July means uly awards will be out later this evening
Hood: Rad
Smith: So…who will make some strong final impressions before the awards get handed out? We’ve got Meyhu returning to action. CJ and Curt Canon will team up to take on Shootah and Jack Puffer
Hood: No offense…but I don’t think either of those fucking matches are going to move the award needle
Smith: Hard to argue that…then we move into the midcard where Kira Phoenix looks for her first win as she takes on Liam Lee Zua…a man who has been struggling as of late.
Hood: I could see Kira winning Newcomer of the Month
Smith: She is a contender! Then…The Lost Soul will take on Julliet Brooks in a very interesting match up
Hood: Two psychopaths doing battle…nothing we haven’t already seen
Smith: The Mix begins afterwards
Hood: WHOA WHOA WHOA
Smith: What?
Hood: What about Kip Young and Assassins…I’ve got it right here on my lineup card
Smith: Haven’t you heard?
Hood: What’s the word?
Smith: Well, it isn’t bird. The word is…CANCELLED MATCH
Hood: Ahhh…well that’s not going to garner any awards for Kip OR Assassin
Smith: Nope…so…like I was saying…the Mix…Mack O’Connor and his vulnerable knee takes on Josie Barnes
Hood: Josie KNEEDS a win
Smith: Very funny…but, yea, she could use one…and, in the other match Chad Vargas takes on Lukas Emery
Hood: Vargas has been on fire lately…Lukas is hella talented….who do you have winning that one?
Smith: I honestly couldn’t tell ya
Hood: Way to go out on a limb, Smith
Smith: Then the final portion of our evening begins starting with…Tommy Crimson taking on Rebel…the winner will face Iggy Hardy on August 21st
Hood: I’d like to think Rebel has this…so we could see a rematch of that epic match from Stainless Steel Ride but…I don’t know…this feels like Crimson all the way
Smith: He’s been hot lately
Hood: JUST LIKE HANSEL
Smith: And…in our semi-main event…Mike Zybala will put his personal undefeated streak on the line against Bradley Carrington….personal insofar that he’s never lost to Carrington
Hood: Yea, these two fuckers have quite the history…from what I hear…and, well, it hasn’t been good for the Professor
Smith: You aren’t telling any tales outside of school! And…in our main event…Perfectly Marvelous will return to the ring for the first time since Stainless Steel Ride to defend their OCW Tag Team Titles against The Lockwood Party
Hood: I know some see this as a showcase for Maurako and Paras but don’t sleep on the fucking Lockwoods…they are vicious
Smith: That they are…it should be a tremendous main event…a great night is ahead so let’s not waste any more time…let’s get right to it!
Tag Team Match
CJ O’Donnell & Curt Canon (0-0) vs. Jack Puffer & Shootah (0-0)
~ Shootah appears extra frightened this evening. He’s holding an iPad in his hand. His body shakes…it quivers…tears form in his eyes. What is he watching? Is it SIXTEEN CANDLES? We zoom in…nope, not Sixteen Candles. He’s watching highlights of the match at Stainless Steel Ride between O’Donnell and Canon. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen … the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hollywood, California standing 6’3 and weighing in at 180lbs…Shootah!!!!!
~Shootah’s mouth drops open. He turns his head, wincing. A fan at ringside yells out “Bro, don’t break my iPad!” Shootah slowly turns his head back around, hoping the worst is over. He screams and shuts his eyes…he flings the iPad out of the ring, it clangs against the barricade. The fan is irate~
Belvedere: And his partner…
~Puffer begins to walk down the aisle with his detective jacket on and puffing on his pipe. He pulls out a magnifying glass from his coat and starts looking for clues as he is walking down the aisle. Puffer enters the ring and tries to calm down Shootah in the corner. Jack pointing to his chest saying he has this. ~
Belvedere: From Aurora, Illinois…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 215lbs…’Detective’ Jack Puffer!!!
~ The crowd begins to boo as they know who is about the enter the arena next. ~
Belvedere: And their opponents, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is the self-proclaimed Iron Man of the OCW…”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!!
~ ”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits as “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell appears from behind the curtain with a smirk on his face. O’Donnell begins to make his way down to the ring as he begins to heckle some of the fans along the way.~
Belvedere: And his partner …
~ The opening beats of “Figure 8” by Trust Company hits. Eight seconds into the song you see Curt Canon slide out from the entrance way onto the ramp. He stands there with an arrogant look on his face and for a few seconds before taking both hands and pointing to himself. In the same motion, he leans a bit back and throws his hands to his side. ~
Belvedere: From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion … he is an OCW Hall of Famer … he is the new and improved …Curt Canon!!!
~ He then slowly starts to make his way to the ring arrogantly looking at the crowd and rubbing his wrist on the way down. CJ and Curt meet in the center of the aisle way and discuss strategy. You hear Canon say he got this CJ puts his arms up in the air. As Curt gets to the ring he walks up the steps and climbs into the ring. Canon heads to the center repeats the pose he did at the top of the ramp as blue pyro shoots out of all 4 turnbuckles. CJ continues making his way around the ring and sits next to Hood and Smith. ~
O’Donnell: Mind if I join you, Hood?
Hood: Not at all. But don’t you have a match tonight?
O’Donnell: Curt told me he can handle both of them so I am going to trust him like a partner should.
Hood: I can’t argue with that.
Smith: I’ll believe it when I see it.
O’Donnell: Ohhh Smith I didn’t see you at the end of the announce table, by the way, suck a dick.
Smith: *under his breath* Douche bag.
O’Donnell: Did you say something, Smith?
Smith: Nope.
O’Donnell: Good keep it that way and I’ll show you the proper way to call a match with Hood.
~ Shootah begins to stretch in the corner as Puffer is on the ring apron. As Shootah turns around Canon is standing in the middle of the ring with an arrogant look on his face. As the bell rings Shootah charges at Curt and attempts a clothesline but the OCW Legend ducks underneath it. Shootah turns around and is met with a Pele kick for his trouble. Canon gets right back on his feet and snapmares Shootah over him. Curt must have a lot of energy as he bounces off the ropes and dropkicks Shootah in the back of the head. Puffer is on the apron complaining to the referee Scruff who just shrugs his shoulders. ~
Hood: Look at the intensity in Curt tonight.
O’Donnell: Yeah he is a changed man.
Smith: Not for the better.
O’Donnell: That is a lesser man’s opinion but I would say Canon will be turning heads in no time.
Hood: I agree as long as you continue to teach him the ropes.
O’Donnell: I don’t have to teach him shit as this has always been deep down inside of Curt. I just found the way to bring it out the right way.
~ Shootah is on the mat clutching at the back of his head as Curt picks him up by his hair. Canon slaps him a few times in the face before he grabs the arm of Shootah and whips him into the corner. Curt goes charging in and connects with a forearm strike. Curt pushes Shootah up onto the top turnbuckle. ~
Hood: Shootah looks like he is knocked out.
O’Donnell: Canon might have put some extra padding in those elbow pads of his tonight.
Smith: That is illegal and he should be disqualified.
O’Donnell: It was sarcasm, Smith. Lighten up. Hood, how do you work with tool on a weekly basis?
Hood: I kind of just do my own thing.
~ Canon stands under Shootah, who is situated on the top turnbuckle, turn his back to Shootah while taking hold of his arms from below, holding underneath Shootah's arm pits. Curt lifts up Shootah and throws him forward while falling to a seated position, flipping Shootah over in mid air, and slamming him down to the mat back first. ~
Hood: What does Canon call that move?
O’Donnell: Sunny Side Up!
Hood: That’s a great name.
Smith: You two should get a room.
O’Donnell: I think someone is jealous of our same sense of humor.
Hood: It is fine he will get over it.
~ Canon covers Shootah by putting a knee across his sternum. ~
1!
2!
~ Puffer comes into the ring and pushes Canon off of Shootah to break up the count. Canon turns around and Jack begins to point in the chest area of Curt. ~
O’Donnell: That isn’t a smart move Puffer.
Hood: Yeah he still has a case to solve.
O’Donnell: I’ll be right back.
~ CJ takes off the headset and slides underneath the bottom rope in a fluid motion. Scruff is checking on Shootah to see if he can still continue. Curt notices it out of the corner of his eye and kicks Puffer square in the groin area. As Puffer doubles over in pain Canon brings up his knee into the face of Jack which sends him staggering into the grasp of CJ who plants the Detective with a DDT. Puffer rolls to the outside of the ring. ~
Smith: This is completely uncalled for. Someone should stop this match.
Hood: Why? This is the coming out party for Curt Canon.
Smith: He has made his point no need to add insult to injury.
~ Canon jumps up on the middle turnbuckle and leaps connecting with a double knee drop across the midsection of Shootah. As Curt sits on the mat with a smirk on his face he looks back up to the ropes. Canon slowly walks over to the ropes and leaps up to the top rope. ~
Hood: I must say CJ you have molded Curt into a beast tonight.
Smith: This is an absolute travesty. I personally hate his new attitude I think it will ruin his legacy.
O’Donnell: No one asked your opinion Smith so keep your trap shut before I shut it permanently for you.
Hood: CJ I think you should be on guest commentary more often as you know how to put Smith in his place.
O’Donnell: You never know what the future holds Hood.
~ Canon points to the fans in attendance before he jumps from the top ropes and presses his knees to his chest, executing a backflip in mid-air, and lands on Shootah abdomen area before he hooks the leg… ~
Hood: I believe that move is called Insult and Injury.
O’Donnell: I see someone is doing their homework.
Hood: I am the best commentator in the business. Who better than Hood?
Smith: A lot of people actually.
1!
2!
~ Canon pulls up Shootah by his hair as Scruff holds up two fingers. ~
O’Donnell: Excuse me for a second.
~ CJ takes off his headset and walks over to where Puffer was on the floor. He throws Puffer back into the ring underneath the bottom rope and tells Canon to toss Shootah to the outside. Before CJ can finish his sentence Curt has thrown Shootah shoulder first into the ring post. Shootah is in between the middle and top turnbuckle holding his left shoulder. O’Donnell applauds as he walks back to the announce table. Curt takes a few steps back and gets a running start before he dropkicks Shootah in the ass which drives his shoulder back into the ringpost. Canon has a smile on his face as he turns around and Puffer is getting up to his feet. Canon tho with his new attitude doesn’t hesitate and connects with a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick. CJ puts his headset back on. ~
O’Donnell: Beautiful Canon Kick!
Hood: I think Jack is knocked out cold with all the head shots he has taken in this match.
O’Donnell: Quite possible.
Smith: I will say the new arsenal of moves by Curt is impressive.
O’Donnell: Damn right they are.
~ As Puffer is on the mat Curt drops an elbow into his sternum and begins to trash talk him. ~
Smith: Come on Curt you are better than that.
O’Donnell: Is he?
Hood: Not anymore.
O’Donnell: Very true.
~ Canon is just stalking his opponent as Puffer tries to get back on his feet but Curt drives a knee into his ribcage. Puffer let’s out a scream as Curt gets a sadistic smile on his face before he drives about four or five more knees into the rib area. Jack is reaching at his ribs as Curt stands up. He blows a snot rocket on Puffer before pushing him out of the ring. ~
Hood: HAHA that was priceless.
O’Donnell: I couldn’t have done it better myself.
Smith: And to think at one time I cheered for this man.
~ Curt grabs Shootah out of the corner and applies a front face lock on Shootah, Curt pushes off the mat with his legs to flip Shootah and drive them onto the top of their head in a manner similar to the flip piledriver. ~
Hood: And that my friend is the end of this tag team match.
O’Donnell: Actually that is the Chronicle’s Ending. It was a pleasure announcing this match with you Hood. Smith you can go eat a dick.
~ CJ stands up from the announce table and walks up the ring steps as Canon covers Shootah with a foot on his chest. ~
1!
2!
3!
~ CJ enters the ring as Scruff goes to raise the hand of Curt who tells Scruff not to touch him. O’Donnell applauding the destruction that Canon caused tonight as you hear Curt say I told you I could do this on my own. ~
Belvedere: The winners of this match … the team of … Curt Canon and “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!
Smith: I seriously can’t wait for someone to shut CJ up.
Hood: It is not going to be easy.
Smith: I can’t believe I am saying this but I hope Chad Vargas ends his career next week.
Hood: CJ was smart to take it easy tonight as next week he has two matches.
Smith: Yes, he does. One for the Margarita Mix and the other for the OCW Title!
Hood: I have a feeling O’Donnell is going to get the clean sweep next week.
Smith: I think he is going to fall short in both contest.
~Curt and CJ have exited the ringside area...Shootah and Puffer have been cleared out. Everything is the way it was when the show started~
Smith: A very opportunistic showing given what we've got scheduled as our main event
Hood: I mean...doesn't that kind of make CJ and Curt the #1 contenders?
Smith: Maybe? I don't know...it could...I'm sure we'll find out more about that as the evening rolls on!
~“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” hits and ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu steps out onto the ramp to a chorus of boos. Unphased, he confidently struts down the ramp with the OCW Championship draped over his shoulder.~
Hood: This is always my favorite part of the night!
Smith: No kidding.
~Meyhu climbs through the ropes and poses with the title for a moment before grabbing ahold of the microphone and smirking at the fans in attendance.~
Matt Meyhu: Ladies and gentlemen, your champion has arrived!
~The lack of cheers doesn’t rattle Meyhu.~
Matt Meyhu: And he has a very special announcement to make. You see, for weeks now, your OCW Champion has been harassed. I have been hounded. “Matt, when are you putting that title on the line?” Or… “Matt, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is!”
~The fans beging to cheer on the thought of an OCW title match.~
Matt Meyhu: You know… All I want is a worthy competitor to face me. I believed that was worth waiting for. And then the news dropped… I will be defending my title… In a triple threat match? Against TIO and CJ O’Donnell. They’re already trying to make it hard on me. It’s like they don’t want me to be the champion!
~More cheers begin to fill the air as Matt shakes his head. He holds the title in his hands and holds it up at eye level, looking directly at it for a moment.~
Matt Meyhu: Well, you know what I say? Why wait? They want me to defend this belt next week. Let’s do it tonight! Right here! Right now! We’ll get this required title defense out of the way!
~The crowd erupts now. They begin to chant. “TIO! TIO! TIO!”~
Matt Meyhu: Let the record show, the fans in attendance tonight have made their decision. They know who they want to walk away with this title. Hey, I respect your decision. However… This right here, this is an open challenge! The first competitor to come on down, gets a shot at this.
~Matt slaps the face of the title.~
Matt Meyhu: I have a feeling we’ve got an eager competitor back there, ready for this chance. Whoever it is, give me your best shot!
Smith: A big risk being taken by the champion here! This is a huge announcement!
Hood: I hope he knows what he’s doing!
~“Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang hits as the crowd goes mild. John E. Depth steps out onto the ramp with a grin on his face. With a handful of cash, he walks down the ramp, slapping the occasional hand along the way.~
Hood: Was not expecting that!
Smith: I have a feeling Matt was.
~Meyhu claps for his opponent, who is now rolling into the ring. One last gesture to the fans from Depth gets a little reaction from the fans.~
Hood: This is the opportunity of a lifetime for him!
Matt Meyhu (13-1) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…I’m being told that this is AN OFFICIAL OCW CHAMPIONSIHP MATCH! A GLOW SPECIAL!
~A few ‘GLOW’ chants break out…one guy appears to orgasm at the thought of Alison Brie. We cut away from him immediately~
Belvedere: Introducing first…from Hollywood California…THE CHALLENGER…John E Depth!!!
~The crowd gives Depth a strong ovation. He soaks it in…he evidently thinks it’s over the release of his new adult film about a California orchard entitled SEX ON THE PLANET OF THE GRAPES! He takes a bow and slides the cash in his corner~
Smith: Not a very safe place to stash some cash
Hood: The guy directs porn movies for a living…I doubt he’s very organized
Belvedere: AND HIS OPPONENT…
~The boos shower Belvedere and the OCW Champion~
Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois!
~The booing increases because – fuck Chicago~
Belvedere: Standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the REIGNING…DEFENDING OCW CHAMPION…HE IS ‘THE MARVEL’ MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: Well…I don’t THINK it’ll happen…I can’t imagine a plausible scenario…however IF Depth defeats Meyhu…he will be the OCW Champion
Hood: Mario might commit suicide
Smith: It would be up there with Special K…probably worse
Hood: Why does Depth have all that cash, by the way?
Smith: Remember…he got paid for wrestling TIO last week…I think he’s just showing it off…you know how poor people are when they get their hands on a large amount of cash
Hood: Wow, that was condescending as shit
~Meyhu waits for Depth to make the first move. While doing so, he hands the OCW Title over to Belvedere who carefully exits the ring with the company’s most prized possession. Depth stands on the middle rope…he points down at the cash underneath the buckle and yells “WHOEVER HELPS ME DEFEAT MEYHU GETS THE CASH!” The crowd oohs and aahs. Depth snares it and places it inside his trunks~
Smith: Not sure I’d TOUCH that money now
Hood: Stop being so fucking dramatic…it’s still good. Might toss it in the dryer for a few minutes with some of that sweet smelling stuff
Smith: No thanks…I don’t need money that bad
Hood: I knew it
Smith: You knew what?
Hood: You make more than me
~Depth turns around and is run over with a lariat from Meyhu!! He hits the ground and is basically unconscious. Meyhu stands over Depth and pretends to be exhausted~
Smith: What is he doing?
Hood: It’s hard work defending the OCW Title, Smith. Meyhu is obviously heavily fatigued after laying Depth out in such brutish fashion
Smith: IT WAS ONE CLOTHESLINE
~Meyhu pulls Depth to his feet and hoists him over his head…he pretends it takes a great deal of effort. He even swings Depth’s arms around, acting as though Depth is fighting him off. He swiftly drops Depth to the mat with an Alabama Slam!! Depth continues to look dead. Meyhu stands over Depth and wipes fake sweat from his brow. The crowd boos~
Smith: Well, unless a bunch of money hungry ruffians run down here and beat up Meyhu…this match is over
Hood: Yea, you know Welsh wants this match to end as quickly as possible…with the OCW Title on the line, he does NOT want Depth to walk away champ
Smith: You’re right about that…I think we all are pulling for Meyhu…even if we despise the man
~Meyhu reaches down, grabbing Depth by the hair. He grabs Depth’s right arm and uses it to act like Depth is trying to poke him in the eye. Meyhu fights his limp arm away. The crowd continues to boo~
Smith: JUST END IT
Hood: Yea before some desperate fucker runs down here for a quick cash grab
~Meyhu gets Depth to his feet, ready to drop him with the Ego Trip. The crowd pops! A bunch of people wearing QUESTION MARK MASKS RUSH THE RING. Meyhu turns around and rolls his eyes…he slumps his shoulders as if to say “NOT AGAIN!” They hit the ring. Meyhu is about to fight them off when he remembers Zybala’s contract~
Smith: He cannot strike Mike Zybala…not unless they are in a match
Hood: Oh man…that’s gonna make this far more complicated that it should be
~A masked man places a Question Mark Mask over Scruff’s face, shielding his eyes from what’s about to happen. Meyhu starts removing masks…once he sees the person under the mask isn’t Zybala he drills them with a right hand. The other masked men pummel him in the back. Meyhu tries his best…but he’s fighting with a severe handicap. The crowd is going wild. The masked me finally subdue Meyhu…they hold him hostage. A lone masked individual emerges…he faces Meyhu and tears away his Question Mark Mask…it’s Zybala! The crowd goes wild~
Smith: It’s Mike Zybala!
Hood: Who are these other people?
Smith: People from the department of workforce services?
Hood: So…nameless fuckers
Smith: Yes
~Zybala springs forward…he DRILLS Meyhu with a Superkick!!! Meyhu falls to the mat, unconscious. The crowd is on their feet…they can sense a title change. Zybala drags Depth over Meyhu. He then yells at a masked man…the guy digs in Depth’s trunks…he pulls out the cash! He hands it to Zybala. The masked me all disperse…they rush through the crowd. Zybala exits the ring…the throws the cash into the crowd~
Smith: Now there’s some good, old fashioned charity!
Hood: You say charity…I say tragedy. Wake up, man…John E Depth is about to become the new OCW Champion!
Smith: Oh no…you’re right…this IS a tragedy!
~Scruff pulls the mask off his face. As he does, Zybala finishes throwing the cash around. He has a hundred dollar bill left over…he shrugs, keeping it for himself. He then exits through the curtain. Scruff sees nothing…he has no choice but to count the pinfall. The crowd counts along~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP!!
Smith: Meyhu kicked out! Holy hamburgers! He just saved OCW from national embarrassment!
Hood: Thank you, Meyhu! Thank you!
Smith: I can’t believe I’m saying this…but, yes, thank you Matt Meyhu. Of course…had he not put the title on the line to begin with…none of this would have happened
Hood: Insignificant facts!
~Meyhu sits up…he looks around, gathering his whereabouts. He becomes furious. He stands, yanking Depth to his feet. He positions Depth appropriately and slings him to the ground with The Ego Trip!! He flips Depth over and makes the nonchalant cover…Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd boos…why? I guess they want to see OCW BURN!~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…AND STILL OCW CHAMPION… “THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: Exhale…everybody…exhale
Hood: Mike Zybala is a true wildcard, man
Smith: That he is…he nearly created a monumental shift…a TECTONIC shift in OCW’s foundation
Hood: It’s a good thing Matt Meyhu is superhuman
Smith: Well, I don’t know about that…I do know this Meyhu/Zybala situation is going to have to get resolved.
Hood: It isn’t just Meyhu…Zybala’s got his sights set on CJ, TIO AND Carrington
Smith: He gets Carrington tonight
Hood: Can’t wait for that one!
Smith: Anyway…all is well, OCW fans. Meyhu retains…John E Depth leaves a loser and, well, a few thousand dollars poorer. We’ve got plenty of action yet to come…so let’s head backstage!
~OCW cameras cut backstage to see a beat up Jack Puffer hobbling backstage, heading down a hallway. He has a journal in his hand as he heads into a door that reads “General Manager’s Office”. A limping, wincing Puffer goes inside to see the Eastern European and Head of HR CAP SLOCK discussing something~
Jack Puffer: I was told you needed me, Mr. European.
EE: Yes Puffer. It has come to attention of OCW that Man who is ‘Credible is missing and right now, triple threat is up in air.
CAP SLOCK: AS THE HEAD OF HR I AM APPAULDED THAT YOU GUYS LET THAT WOMAN OUT OF HERE WITHOUT CHARGING HER! YOU COULD BE THE VERY REASON TIO IS KIDNAPPED!
EE: You believe TIO, big guy, was kidnapped by small, chubby girl? Welsh is bugging me for answers for triple threat next week.
CAP SLOCK: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SIT HERE, WORRIED ABOUT YOUR TRIPLE THREAT, WHEN ONE OF YOUR TOP STARS IS MISSING – HE COULD BE DEAD! JACK! YOU HAVE HEARD OF THE TERRIBLE NEWS, YES?!
Jack Puffer: Yes… I heard the news of TIO missing… a possible kidnapping?
EE: Yes, by same fan who jumped guard rail last week. I am not sure what do… investors would not be happy if we advertised match with Mr. ‘Credible if he did not show…
CAP SLOCK: WHAT ABOUT INVESTORS BEING UPSET OVER A HR NIGHTMARE THAT YOU DIDN’T CHARGE A CRAZED FAN?!
EE: She said she was drunk and said sorry… most fans drunk… what do you want from me?
Jack Puffer: Mr. European… Mr. SLOCK… need not to worry any longer! Jack Puffer is on the case!
CAP SLOCK: YOU MEAN YOU WILL TRY AND LOCATE MR. INCREDIBLE? AT LEAST SOMEONE CARES!
EE: Okay… we should make announcement… so, I shall say now, Jack, I must have a report on TIO being safe and sound and ready to wrestle by the beginning of next week’s show… or triple threat is no more. Just Matt Meyhu vs. CJ O’Donnell.
Jack Puffer: I located Marcus Welsh… through smart detective skills and a thorough investigation… I shall treat this case, locating TIO… with my life. I should get some help… but from who…
~Puffer scratches his chin, thinking of the perfect person who could assist him in such a big case when OCW’s Medic SLASH Mechanic “The Knife Man” entered the room putting his LARGE BLADE back in its holster around his waist~
The Knife Man: All right, I got the floor all cleaned Mr. European, but I really suggest the next time you need blood cleaned up – please choose someone else… you know me and blood—
~The Knife Man stops mid sentence as Jack Puffer looks at him like a light bulb went off in his head~
Jack Puffer: You are perfect! Come with me!
~Puffer grabs The Knife Man, tugging on his arm, and drags him out of the room as the cameras cut to the announce team~
Smith: Oh wonderful…another Jack Puffer investigation
Hood: Beats the shit out of watching him inside the ring
Smith: Yea, you might have a point there
Hood: Hope like hell he finds TIO…man’s got the biggest match of his career next week!
Smith: Indeed he does…The Aptitude will EXPLODE in the main event at next week’s Massacre for the OCW Title
Hood: Explode, huh? That’s going to really open up the main event scene
Smith: NOT LITERALLY! Anyway…we hope to find out more about TIO tonight or as the week develops…HOPEFULLY he makes it to next week’s show. In the meantime…we’ve got more in ring action coming your way as Kira Phoenix looks to win her first singles match against Liam Lee Zua!
Kira Phoenix (2-0) vs. Liam Lee Zua (3-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~”Broken” by Evanescence begins to play. The fans give a minimal response. They look toward the curtain with curiosity. Blue and Black flames dance no the OCWTron. Kira Phoenix emerges! The crowd watches…a few men in the crowd seem interested. Phoenix heads to the ring, ready to make her debut. She climbs the steps, enters through the ropes and is ready to begin~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Richmond, Virginia…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 135lbs…Kira Phoenix!!!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
~”Back from the Dead” by Skillet starts playing through the speakers as the lights dim down and a dark green spot light shines on the entrance. Liam walks out with the hood of his jacket up and as the lyrics for the song start he turns his back to the crowd and raises his left fist in the air throwing up devil horns just as the first verse of the song starts~
Cold and black inside this coffin
~He spins around a wicked smile on his face as he walks down to the ring focused like a laser~
Belvedere: And her opponent, weighing in at a 160 pounds, hailing from Miami, Florida…The man known as Death from Above Liam Zua!!!
~There is a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd as Liam slides under the bottom rope and throwing back his hood he climbs the turnbuckle and raises his left fist in the air once more before he backflips into the ring and then removes his jacket while he waits for the match to start. The bell rings~
Smith: Zua desperately needs a win tonight…if he loses, I fear his career in OCW might be over
Hood: Well, that would be a massive blow to the roster
Smith: Be nice!
~Zua charges at Phoenix, angrily. She leaps into the air, wraps her legs around his head and takes him down with a Frankensteiner! She remains on top of Zua and devastates him with punches to the head. She ends with a head butt…the impact stills Zua’s writing legs. He’s on the mat, barely moving~
Smith: Wow!
Hood: Man, she just whipped his ass
Smith: Yep…his head must not be in this match either
Hood: He’s apparently still dreaming of Julliet
~Phoenix rushes for the nearest corner. She scales the buckles in rapid fashion. She reaches the top and leaps off with a Frog splash! She connects!! Instead of going for the pin, she returns to her feet and motions for Zua to get up. The crowd starts to get behind her with a “PHOENIX!” chant gaining momentum~
Smith: She’s looking better than ever tonight, Hood
Hood: Yea man, form fitting attire on hot women will usually
Smith: I’m talking about her in ring repertoire!
Hood: Oh, yea…that too!
~Zua stumbles to his feet…Kira springs forward and cuts him in half with a spear!!! He hits the mat, hard. He pops back up, though…out of instinct. His eyes indicate he’s unaware of what’s going on. Kira returns to her feet, she grabs his head and drops him with an RKO!!! The crowd jumps to their feet! Kira rolls him over and goes for the pin…Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…KIRA PHOENIX!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win by Kira Phoenix! She’s got a great career in front of her, Hood
Hood: Yea, I’d say so
Smith: But…an equally unimpressive performance by Liam Zua
Hood: Not looking good for the man who spends his life at the end of roll call
Smith: Indeed…anyway…the night is still young…so before we get to our next match, let’s head backstage!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
'Cause you all try to keep me down
How it feels to be forgotten
But you'll never forget me now
~We cut outside the OCW Arena. Some more kids are handing out OUTSIDER CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING brochures. They are younger, this go around…a ploy by DEAN to ensure they don’t get treated too terribly. A man walks up…a muscular man with a ball cap pulled far enough where we can’t see his face. A kid extends a brochure~
Kid: Hey! Mister! Check out the greatest fed in the world! Application is on the back…everyone who signs up gets hired!
~The man takes the brochure…he reads it over, quickly~
Man: Hah. Just what I don’t need.
~He rips the brochure in half. The kid is about to yell when he recognizes the man’s face~
Kid: Did you see who that was?
~His friend shakes his head ‘no’. So, the kid whispers in his ear. His eyes widen…they both get really excited~
Kid: Let’s go watch Massacre! He’s one of my favorites!
Kid 2: But…our job
Kid: Who cares!
~Kid 2 finally agrees and they throw their brochures in the air, sprinting off to watch Massacre at home. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Who was that?
Hood: Some kid? How the hell should I know?
Smith: No! The man in the hat
Hood: Oh…yea, I don’t know that either
Smith: Thanks for the help, pal. He’s apparently a former name and he’s here…tonight!
Hood: Could just be visiting friends backstage
Smith: Yea, I doubt that. Anyway…I have no doubt we’ll discover the identity of this man at some point during the evening…until then, however, we’ve got more in ring action…so, let’s head to ringside!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~The ‘Friday the 13th’ Theme echoes throughout the arena. The OCW fans leap to their feet! A “TLS” chant breaks out. The enigmatic star emerges from behind the curtain. He makes his way to the ring, eyeing Depth~
Belvedere: Introducing first...from Parts Unknown…he stands 6’3 and weighs in at 235lbs…he is a former OCW Ascension Champion….The Lost Soul!!!
~"Down" by Otep hits and out walks Julliet Brooks onto the stage to a chorus of cheers from the audience, simply smiling from ear to ear. She is draped in a gorgeous gold robe. She shows it off for a moment before heading down to ringside. Once there she claps some fans hands, then runs and slides underneath the ropes, soaking up the positive reaction.~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Albuquerque, New Mexico…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…Julliet Brooks!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: These two were tribemates on OCW Survivor
Hood: One of them had to be pixelated on most of the episodes…and it’s not the one you’d think
Smith: She has more class than that
Hood: Really? *shuffles around*
Smith: What are you doing?
Hood: Pulling up footage from her Stainless Steel Ride match against Chad Vargas
~TLS reaches into his pants. The crowd shrieks! Brooks doesn’t flinch…she’s likely seen worse. He pulls out a…PARCHMENT! The crowd sighs~
Smith: Much to the crowd’s relief he emerges with a parchment
Hood: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WHIP THIS OUT
Smith: For heaven’s sake!
Hood: What? I’m just quoting Blazing Saddles
Smith: Oh…okay, whew
~TLS holds the parchment up…it reads ‘Julliet Brooks’! The crowd does that “ooohhhhh” noise…ya know, like when someone gets served or whatever. Brooks grinds her teeth and shakes her head, visibly annoyed. TLS has a nice laugh. He starts to fold the parchment~
Smith: Hood! That’s the parchment TLS used to help vote Julliet off of Survivor!
Hood: Who knew he was a sentimentalist
Smith: That or he’s a real jerk!
Hood: Man, that’s some incredible foresight. Although, if anybody could see into the future…I’d place my money on TLS…him or Lance Savage
~TLS finishes folding the parchment up…it’s now a PAPER AIRPLANE. He throws it at Julliet…the pointy end hits her in the cheek. She stands there, taking it. TLS shrugs and turns toward the crowd. A loud “BROOKS” chant emerges. He shakes his head yelling something about having the best body on Survivor. We zoom in on TLS and his painted face, jousting, verbally with a few ringside fans. His head thrusts forward, violently! His body slams into the ropes. Standing behind him is Julliet Brooks~
Smith: A veteran like TLS should know you don’t turn your back on an opponent
Hood: She’s a woman…he probably felt she’d be too indecisive to make a move
Smith: Stop that!
Hood: Alright…but only if you get me that paper airplane
~Brooks grabs TLS by the back of the neck, pressing his throat against the top rope. TLS struggles…his arms wave around…he tries to find a way to escape. He throws a mule kick…it hits Julliet in the knee. She staggers. TLS stands upright, rubbing his neck. He turns around and tries running Brooks over with a lariat…Brooks ducks via the MATRIX BACKBEND…TLS stops and looks around, confused. He rotates, facing Brooks…as he does she leaps into the air with an enziguri!! She kicks TLS in the side of the head! He falls to the mat, holding his head in pain~
Smith: What flexibility shown by Julliet Brooks!
Hood: Keep your pants on, Smith!
Smith: What? I’m admiring an athlete at the peak of her career
Hood: We all know what a compliment about flexibility toward a woman means…high caliber fucktoy!
Smith: It does not!
~Brooks returns to her feet…she kicks the paper airplane out of the ring. Hood flashes a five dollar bill. A young OCW employee snares the airplane and brings it to Hood. Hood puts the bill back into his pocket and tells the employee to get away from him. Brooks, meanwhile, jams a knee into the throat of TLS, keeping him on the mat~
Smith: That was rather rude
Hood: Kid didn’t deserve five whole dollars for that…c’mon, man
Smith: Then why did you wave the money at him?
Hood: That’s not why I pulled that bill out. I was checking to see if it was counterfeit!
Smith: Right
~Brooks removes her knee…TLS rolls over, onto his front, coughing. Julliet stands over him and drops a quick, vicious knee into the back of his neck!! TLS writhes around, in tremendous pain. He rolls until he hits the apron and falls to the floor, out of the ring. He holds his entire neck, wincing with pain. The crowd apparently enjoys neck trauma…OR they are just big Julliet fans…probably the latter. They cheer and chant for the world wide star~
Smith: Vicious attack by Julliet…she doesn’t mind inflicting pain on her opponents
Hood: Yea…we know
Smith: Which is why she’s accumulated so many accolades
Hood: I’m just glad she doesn’t do porn
Smith: Please, Hood…I don’t want to…
Hood: Because the world has enough torture porn as it is!
~TLS reaches his knees…his arms are draped over the apron. He continues to cough, but appears to be recovering. Julliet steps near the ropes. TLS isn’t facing her…he’s staring at the apron with his throat near the apron’s edge. Julliet grabs onto the top rope…she leaps over, holds on, turns around and snaps down with her feet kicking TIO in the back of the head!! His throat slams into the apron’s edge! He falls to the floor, coughing uncontrollably. Julliet pulls her dangling legs up, onto the apron…she lets go of the rope and looks toward the fans, smiling~
Smith: Julliet is in total control
Hood: And she’s fucking enjoying it! She’s going to turn TLS into a mute!
Smith: We have the Knife Man…I’m sure he’ll cure whatever ailment TLS emerges with
Hood: I don’t care…she’s finding way too much pleasure in TLS’ suffering. I mean he’s already lost his soul for crying out loud…why deprive him of more?
~TLS gets to all fours, he reaches his feet on the outside, leaning against the barricade, continuing to cough. Julliet, standing on the apron, leaps off with a moonsault! TLS moves out of the way!! Julliet’s midsection CRASHES across the top of the barricade! The fans are ringside wince…they then follow their wincing with words of encouragement. Brooks hangs across the barricade…her head facing the outside area near the ring…her feet dangling above the concrete floor in the ‘fan’ area~
Smith: And she crashed a burned
Hood: Yea, you don’t need a throat to move
Smith: No Hood, no you do not
Hood: That’s what crazy gets you, Smith. Look at Julliet…look at her! Crazy woman
~TLS rubs his throat, finding a bit of comfort. He’s facing Brooks. He charges forward and lifts a knee into Julliet’s face!! She flips backward…her back SLAPS onto the concrete floor with the back of her head suffering a tremendous amount of whiplash. It smacks into the concrete, rendering her unconscious. The fans boo at TLS. He looks over at Julliet with curiosity~
Smith: I don’t think he meant to inflict THAT much punishment on the lovely Julliet Brooks
Hood: Why the fuck does he even care? She’d stab him in the eye with a SPORK if she could
Smith: I doubt she’d go that far
Hood: You’re right…she’d go farther
~TLS reaches over, snaring Julliet’s legs. He hooks them under his arms and drags her body over the barricade. The upper torso slides across the top of the barricade before falling roughly to the ground outside the ring. TLS leans back, lifting her entire body off the ground and begins to spin her around. She doesn’t endure too many rotations before TLS releases her legs, sending Julliet’s body crashing into the side of the steel steps! The fans grow irate at TLS. Scruff begins to count, yelling “ONE!”~
Smith: Well, I guess he’s made his point
Hood: Has he, Smith…HAS HE?
Smith: Of course he has…she’s completely incapacitated
Hood: I don’t trust her…I think she’s playing possum
Smith: Nobody is THAT dedicated to playing possum, Hood
~Scruff yells “FOUR!” TLS snares Brooks and hurls her back into the ring, under the bottom rope. He climbs onto the apron. Brooks winds up on her back. TLS holds onto the top rope and he leaps over the top rope with a somersault into a leg drop!! It’s a variation of SOULED OUT!! He connects! He goes for a pin as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….THE LOST SOUL!!!!!
Smith: Great win for TLS…he’s looked sharp since returning
Hood: Paint is as FRESH as ever!
Smith: Poor Julliet…she was in control until a high risk maneuver backfired
Hood: That’s life
Smith: I guess…she’s still one of our favorites…I have no doubt she’ll bounce back. I just hope she didn’t suffer an above the neck injury
Hood: Can’t hurt what’s already broken, Smith
Smith: Rude! Let’s head backstage before Hood disparages the BEAUTIFUL Julliet Brooks any further
~Puffer and The Knife Man are about to exit the building. Puffer keeps asking The Knife Man if he’s going to remove the mask when they get out in public~
The Knife Man: Why would I do that?
Jack Puffer: Because…
~Puffer, about to bestow some detective wisdom onto The Knife Man, is abruptly interrupted~
Cap Slock: PUFFER
Jack Puffer: Whoa! Yes, Cap Slock!
Cap Slock: I’M AFRAID THE KNIFE MAN CANNOT ACCOMPANY YOU ON THIS EXCURSION
Jack Puffer: And why not, may I ask?
Cap Slock: IT CONCERNS SOME OF THE EXAMINATIONS FROM EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON.
The Knife Man: A roaring success, if you ask me! Cars and humans alike were thoroughly vetted and found to be in great health!
Cap Slock: ONE PATRON IS CURRENTLY ENDURING TREMENDOUS PAIN I’M AFRAID.
The Knife Man: Good heavens! Stomach cramps? Transmission issues? What’s going on, Captain?
~Cap Slock leans in to reveal the private issue~
Cap Slock: AN ANAL FISSURE
~Puffer cringes~
The Knife Man: Now how on earth is that possible? I found zero injuries during the prostate examinations.
~As Knife Man says this, he waves his giant knife around…an innocent act of gesticulation~
Cap Slock: THAT’S A QUESTION YOU’LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT, KNIFE MAN.
The Knife Man: Breaks my heart to hear this…anal fissures are terrifying. Let me ask you this…how is his car running?
Cap Slock: TOP NOTCH
The Knife Man: Well, thank goodness for that. I’ll go see this man. Puffer, I’m sorry…but a man’s anus is sliced wide open…I must fill it up.
Jack Puffer: Do your thing, Knife Man
~Puffer looks at the ground and sighs as The Knife Man exits~
Cap Slock: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO ACCOMPANY YOU IN HIS STEAD?
Jack Puffer: If it’s not too much trouble
~Cap Slock nods. He and Puffer exit. We cut to the announce table~
Smith: If it wasn’t obvious before…it should be now…these men are never going to find TIO
Hood: Don’t say that…Cap Slock is a highly decorated man of…the army? Navy? I forget
Smith: He can barely hear, Hood. You know where he lives?
Hood: No
Smith: RIGHT NEXT TO THE AIRPORT. He didn’t even realize it until someone told him
Hood: Yikes
Smith: Yea…they aren’t finding TIO…but, hey, at least they are trying, I guess
Hood: TIO is so fucked…he’s going to miss his rematch all because of some crazed wildebeest
Smith: Let’s hope that’s not the case…anyway…it’s time for the Margarita Mix to continue…we’ve got two matches for you guys…starting with Chad Vargas taking on Lukas Emery…let’s head to ringside!
Margarita Mix
“The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (12-4) vs. Lukas Emery (7-1)
~The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as “Bartholomew” by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system~.
~“Oh my God, please help me.
~The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates and are of the stage, and Lukas Emery slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans~
Belvedere: Introducing First, from Cardiff, Wales, now residing in London, England, Lukas Emery!
~The spotlight follows as Emery continues to make his way to the ring, bouncing and singing to the music a little bit. He makes his way to ringside and takes the steps up to the ring before stepping in. Once in the ring, he slowly turns around, looking at his surroundings, before he awaits his opponent~
Hood: Here Comes Vargas!
~The opening chords of Lynyrd Skynyrd's “Needle and the Spoon” controls the sound system as a voice over shouts ‘King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” as “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas emerges onto the ramp, his arms raised in the air. He takes a few steps forward as orange, blue, and white pyros blast from behind him. Vargas turns, eyes wide as he smirks reveling in his entrance. He slowly struts down the aisle, mouthing obscenities to the crowd on his way by as they boo him. Once he reaches the ring, he slowly climbs up the steel steps and into the ring. Going to the furthest turnbuckle, he climbs up to the second rung, raises his arms in the air, still mouthing obscenities as he jumps down onto the mat, getting ready to lay down his opponent with his infamous country fried ass whoopin’~
Smith: Vargas and Emery face off in the next round of the Margarita Mix!
Hood: You just know that Jimmy is watching.
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…. he is a former OCW Champion…“The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
Smith: Chad Vargas is ready to roll. Emery stands up to the veteran but Chad’s not buying it.
Hood: He should smother him with a confederate flag.
~The referee calls the two men to the center of the ring. He carefully explains the rules before calling for the bell. Vargas begins to eye Emery from across the ring. He slaps this chest then calls for Lukas to “bring it:~
Hood: Vargas is already taunting Emery in this one.
Smith: A little taunting can go a long way.
~Chad charges at Emery full speed! Emery ducks but before he can turn around Vargas bounces off the ropes behind Lukas, then nails him with a clothesline from behind. Emery holds his shoulder while lying flat on his face~
Smith: Emery counters then Vargas still gets him!
Hood: Lukas has crazy looking eyes.
~Vargas quickly grapples Lukas back up to his feet. Chad then wraps both his arms around Emery then lifts him up into the air. The Confederate Icon is looking for an atomic drop but Lukas flips over Chad’s left shoulder. He ends up directly behind Vargas leading him to take hold of each of Chad’s shoulders then falls back. Emery drives both of his knees into Vargas’s back. Lukas hooks a leg for a pin~
Hood: ONE!
Smith: KICKOUT! Chad immediately rolls out of the ring to catch his breath.
Hood: That’s a veteran move, Smith.
Smith: Indeed.
~Lukas takes off in Chad’s direction. Vargas is holding the apron standing on the outside not paying attention. Emery slides under the bottom rope smacking both heels off the side of Chad’s face, sending him flying backwards onto the unforgiving floor~
Smith: Vargas is on his back now on the outside of the ring!
~The referee begins his count as Lukas walks towards Vargas. Emery picks him up by his right arm then irish whips him toward the ring. The Confederate Icon hits the apron midsection first causing him to hit one knee in pain after the impact. Lukas then rolls Chad back into the ring. Emery rolls under the bottom rope right behind him. Vargas catches him before he can stand up out of nowhere! Chad elbows Lukas in the skull two hard times before situating Emery’s head between his legs. Vargas then wraps both arms around Lukas’s midsection. He lifts Emery up into the air then charges across the ring. Vargas then powerbombs Lukas into the corner turnbuckle head first! Emery’s head bounces off the top turnbuckle leading him to bounce out from the corner! Lukas ends up laid out face down. Vargas lifts Emery’s right leg then adjusts his body around to lock in the figure four leg lock~
Smith: Chad has just locked in the figure four ladies and gentlemen!
Hood: He may have locked it in too close to the ropes.
~Lukas begins to thrash around while reaching out. Vargas smack talks as he inflicts pain on Emery. The two men are tangled up in the ring leading the crowd to react to Chad’s taunting. Emery reaches out toward the bottom rope and has a index finger so close. He reaches out as far as he can but Chad begins to use his arms to scoot backwards. Suddenly Lukas is jerked away from the safety of the bottom rope! Chad continues to scoot back until Emery figures out what Vargas is doing. Emery then begins attempting to scoot himself closer to the bottom rope. Chad continues to scoot but Lukas stops suddenly. Emery then rocks with all he’s got to his left side! In a single motion he flips both he and Vargas over. Now Lukas applies pressure to Chad as both men now lay face down~
Hood: He reversed it! Emery with a counter that may have saved his night.
Smith: Vargas snatches the bottom rope to break the hold!
~Emery stumbles to his feet first. He takes hold of Chad then hooks him for a snap DDT! The move turns Vargas inside out. Chad slowly rolls out the ring. He ends up on his back on the outside looking up at the bright lights. Emery follows up by climbing the turnbuckle closest to Vargas. The Confederate Icon is still looking up at the lights when Emery comes into his line of sight from nowhere! Lukas Double Foot Stomps Vargas across his chest! The crowd pops~
Smith: Wow! Vargas might be hurt.
Hood: The Confederate Icon doesn’t take sick days. He doesn’t even have Aflac because he don’t give a fuck.
~Emery helps Chad up to one knee. Vargas is now completely dazed. A teenager suddenly jumps the security barrier just out from Emery and Chad. The OCW camera’s pan away from the fan as not to encourage such behavior. The fan slides in the ring then dashes across it in a mad dash. The referee gives chase and that’s when Chad Vargas strikes. He upper cuts Emery in the groin so fierce, the cheap shot lifts Lukas up off both his feet! Vargas then hits Emery across the forehead with a set of brass knuckles! Chad catches Emery before he can fall and quickly rolls him in the ring. Vargas follows behind as security tackles the wild fan on the opposite side of the ring~
Smith: The referee missed it! Damnit! Chad hooks a leg for a pin!
Hood: ONE!
Smith: TWO!
Hood: KICKOUT! The Confederate Icon cannot believe it!
~Lukas rolls over on his side coughing from the violent nut shot while his forehead begins to bleed.. The referee realizes he’s missed something but nothing can be done now. Blood trickles down Emery’s forehead. Vargas busted his forehead wide open with the brass knuckles. The referee pushes Chad away to a corner then comes in to check on Lukas. The referee gets in close and simply asks if Emery can continue. Lukas indicates that he indeed can by nodding. The referee calls for the match to continue~
Smith: That brass knuckle shot should have knocked him out but Emery seems to be impervious to pain tonight.
Hood: Whatever. Chad is most likely half fucking drunk and will do anything to win here tonight.
~Emery wipes the blood from his face just before Vargas charges at him. Chad goes for a clothesline but Lukas ducks it! Both men bounce off the ropes then come back at each other for another try! Emery lowers his head then comes up slowly to wrap both his arms around Chad as they meet in the center of the ring. The spinebuster shakes the entire ring! Emery uses all his weight to drive his larger opponent into the mat with real force! The crowd pops as Lukas hooks a leg~
Hood: ONE!
Smith: TWO!
Hood: KICKOUT!
~Emery hits the mat with frustration. Lukas wipes the blood from his face again. He hits the mat again after realizing he will need stitches. Vargas slowly gets up while Emery gets distracted slightly~
Smith: Vargas is now stalking him.
~Emery stands up then turns slowly back towards Chad. He turns right into a right hook! Lukas hits the mat so Chad begins to stomp on him. Emery attempts to roll out of the ring but Vargas snatches hold of his left leg! He drags Lukas to the center of the ring. Vargas lifts up Emery and whips him toward the ropes! Chad waits for a short second before he bounces off the ropes behind him to slingshot himself directly at a returning Lukas! Chad and Emery meet in the center of the ring. The swinging neck breaker from Vargas causes the crowd to pop then boo~
Hood: Lethal Strike! Lethal Strike!
Smith: That was a picture perfect swinging neck breaker!
~Vargas gets back to his feet almost immediately. He begins to circle Lukas while taunting the crowd. He points out a large overweight man in the front row and begins cussing him from the ring. Chad wastes no more time and quickly hooks a leg before Emery comes to~
Smith: ONE!
Hood: Counter! Emery counters the pin with a roll up pin of his own!
Smith: ONE!
Hood: KICKOUT!
~Both men are now up facing each other. The crowd pops as they face off. Vargas charges at Emery full speed once again. Emery kicks him in the gut leading Chad to bend over slightly. Lukas hooks him for a vertical suplex! He holds Chad up in the air for an extra second or two to proudly show his strength! Emery falls back with The Confederate Icon in tow. Vargas hits his head against the mat first with a violent thud. Chad shakes his head to catch his bearings but Emery catches him for a swinging reverse STO! The Light of Emery causes the crowd to pop throughout~
Hood: Light of Emery! This kid might beat the icon! What!?
Smith: He’s a fine young wrestler. This is the land of opportunity and everyone has a chance in the Margarita Mix!
~Emery quickly falls on top of The Confederate Icon! He leaves a bloody face print across Chad’s chest as he hooks a leg for a pin~
Smith: ONE!
Hood: TWO!
Smith: KICKOUT! EMERY CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Crowd: This Is Awesome! This Is Awesome!
Hood: Yes it is!
~Lukas gets right up in the referee’s face to argue the count. The referee dismisses him completely. Emery continues to argue while Chad Vargas gets to one knee. Vargas is dazed but stumbles somehow to his feet. He wobbles towards Lukas, who continues to argue the count. Chad gets ahold of him from behind catching Emery completely off guard. The forward russian leg-sweep drives Emery’s bloody face into the mat~
Smith: THE STROKE! THE STROKE!
Hood: That’s a wrap!
Crowd: This Is Awesome
~Lukas nor Chad have moved when the referee begins his double count. They both finally stir by the time the count reaches three. Both men are dazed and struggling to beat the double count~
Hood: This can’t end in a double count out! GET UP!
Smith: I don’t think they can hear you.
Hood: Sure they can.
~Scruff yells “EIGHT!” The crowd is yelling for Lukas to get up…he does! Scruff yells “NINE!” Emery leans against the ropes, exhausted. Vargas fights to his feet just before ten!!!~
Smith: Both men survived…the match will continue
Hood: Thank goodness!
~Emery stumbles toward Vargas…he throws a clothesline. Chad ducks…Emery’s body swings wildly, doing a one-eighty. Chad grabs Emery and drops him with a second Stroke!! Emery is out! Chad rolls him over and goes for the pin…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…“THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS!!!!!
Smith: Vargas did it! He outlasted and defeated Lukas Emery!
Hood: Huge win…Lukas is one of the top young stars in OCW…hell, he’s the Oh Shit Contract Holder!
Smith: I wonder if he’s ever going to cash that thing in?
Hood: Who knows, Smith…who knows
Smith: Well, that’s Emery’s second defeat in the Mix…he’s losing some ground…especially with CJ and Vargas remaining unbeaten
Hood: That’ll end next week
Smith: Indeed…the clash we’ve all been waiting for is on the horizon…CJ and Vargas do battle next week. But that is then…this is now…we’ve got one more Mix match scheduled…before we get to it…let’s head backstage!
Knee deep in the river trying to get clean.
He says wash your hands, get out the stains.
But ya best believe boy there’s hell to pay.
Yeah ya best believe boy there’s hell to payyy!”~
~ The camera fades backstage and you are inside a dressing room. Out of the corner of the camera, you see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell closing a lockerbut he has two bags in his hands. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Hey Curt whenever you get out of the shitter I have a present for you.
~ CJ places the one in his left hand on the bench. He then turns to his right and out of the surprise of everyone there is Tommy Crimson. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Here this is for you.
~ CJ hands Crimson the gift bag. ~
CJ O’Donnell: I just figured you could use it.
~ Crimson pulls out a collar attached to a long chrome chain. “My Bitch” is written proudly in gold across the collar. Tommy looks confused. ~
Crimson: This won’t fit Bifford.
CJ O’Donnell: I didn't say it was for the fat bastard it is for your bitch in training. I heard you are the star of 100 Shades of Crimson.
Crimson: I do love tieing up insecure bitches. This is true.
~ You hear a toilet flush, and out walks Curt Canon drying his hands with a towel. He sees Crimson examining the collar, and another gift bag sitting next to CJ. ~
Curt Canon: Hey look, Santa became a skinny Irish bastard…..The Distinguished CJ O’Donnell, disappointing woman and children since 1984.
CJ O’Donnell: And look one of his elves came out from his throne. Thank god you washed your hands and you just added 10 years to me, Curt. Such a douche bag you can be.
~ CJ smirks at Curt while Crimson is examining the leash and dog collar. ~
Curt Canon: Oh you are funny today, calling the short guy an elf. Do you write your own material, or does Alice do it for you?
Crimson: I beat her.
~ Tommy grins wide. He thinks to himself for a moment then turns to Canon and CJ. A serious look crosses his face. ~
Crimson: I do respect Alice. I have a real hard time being nice. It's just not my nature. Canon must have shit that toilet full.
~ Tommy covers his face to shield himself from the scent. CJ holds his nostrils together as he caught a wife of what Canon was cooking. ~
CJ O’Donnell: The bastard didn't even have the courtesy to spray or give a courtesy flush. He seems to be enjoying himself being the “bad” guy for once. As far as Alice …
~ CJ pauses for a second. ~
CJ O’Donnell: She is very different from the other women I usually mess with. She knows how to rev my engine if you know what I mean.
Curt Canon: I mean I don’t know anything about any of the other women in your life, but Alice is a special kind of crazy. There is a reason she is one of OCWs best I have no idea why she would want to get involved with you, hell I still have no idea why I even got involved with you.
CJ O’Donnell: Because you were tired of hanging with the geeks and nerds. You wanted to hang out with the cool kids and realized you were wasting your life away just doing ordinary things.
Crimson: Canon, you are a fucking hall of famer. All those people in that crowd will use you until you are done. Then they will throw you away like a piece of fucking trash.
~ Tommy looks Curt Canon right in the eye. ~
Crimson: You don’t owe them a goddamn thing! Don’t let them own you like that. You control them not vice versa. They are all sheep looking to be led. Lead them.
~ Crimson suddenly begins reaching in his pocket. He pulls out two laminated passes. ~
Crimson: I forgot! I got you both something too.
~ Tommy hands the passes over to Curt and O’Donnell. ~
Crimson: They are lifetime passes to FuryLand that will never expire.
~ CJ and Canon each hold a pass up looking it over. They nod at each other knowing they will never visit that haunted clusterfuck. ~
Curt Canon: Yeah, I am slowly starting to see that Crimson. To think all the years in this business with this company, I was being used as a puppet. Not anymore though, it is time I finally show everyone who I really am. Time they know what I am really about.
CJ O’Donnell: About three inches taller than an elf.
~ CJ laughs as Curt gives CJ the finger. ~
CJ O’Donnell: I'm kidding buddy. Seriously what Crimson said is the truth it is time to embrace the dark side. Who knows maybe one day you too can be a hall of famer because of the fear you struck into people.
~ CJ looks at Crimson as he examines his lifetime pass to Furyland. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Thanks for the passes. Would you say this the perfect place to take a woman if you want to get down to business as the night ends?
Crimson: Night time there is sorta like a Stephen King novel. I think it's only safe during the day.
CJ O’Donnell: I know a huge Stephen King fan maybe I'll take her there at night. Give her a thrill.
~ O’Donnell turns to Canon. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Well Curt are you going to open the gift or keep admiring the bag?
~ Curt stares at CJ for a moment then reaches down and grabs the bag. He sticks his hand in and pulls out a black leather jacket. He turns to CJ. ~
Curt Canon: Aww thanks man, a nice new jacket….thank God we are in South Florida.
~ Curt examines the jacket closer and when he looks at the back he notices the words Sarcastic Prick across the shoulders. He looks over to Crimson. ~
Curt Canon: Do you wanna trade?
~ Crimson looks over the jacket. ~
Crimson: Nah, I’m gonna use this leash to tie a special someone to a random coffee table leg. Naked, Alone, and Scared… Waiting for my next move.
Curt Canon: You are one fucked up individual...I like it. I mean I guess I can at least try this damn thing on.
~ Curt looks the jacket over one last time and then puts it on. He checks to see if it fits how he likes, he nods his head in approval looks at CJ and starts applauding. ~
Curt Canon: Well I gotta say I am impressed CJ. It is really hard to find a good Jacket that fits my size, but you nailed this one. I may have to start wearing it to the ring.
CJ O’Donnell: You're welcome Curt. I figured the new you needed something badass to walk to the ring. Anyway, Curt our tag match is up next so you better not have any butterflies in your stomach.
Curt Canon: After you, our brave fearless leader.
~ As Curt and CJ are exiting the locker room in walks Kira Phoenix and you see the most sadistic smile ever from Crimson who is holding his new leash in his hand. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Sad face
Hood: What?
Smith: They've got their claws into Curt!
Hood: Yea, the leather jacket is NEVER a good sign...now all he needs is some facial scruff and a new, edgy hair cut and it'll be complete
Smith: CJ is the corrupter of innocence...the man comes in and tries to deflower what is pure
Hood: Uhh...yea, I don't know about all that...but he does like to persuade people to see things from his perspective
Smith: At least he's staying away from Alice!
Hood: Oh, I'm sure their story isn't finished yet...
Smith: Don't devastate me, Hood! Let's change the subject...it's time for our second and final Margarita Mix match of the evening...this one is between a wounded Mack O'Connor...the new Paradigm Champion AND...Josie Barnes...the Purple VIP
Hood: Let's hope Mack has both legs...he might have undergone some type of amputation surgery over the week
Smith: I think that might have made the news, Hood. Anyway...let's head to ringside!
Margarita Mix
Mack O’Connor (17-3) vs. Josie Barnes (8-5)
Belvedere: Introducing first…. She hails from Lilly, Georgia but resides in Key West… she is the PURPLE VIP…JoooooSssssssiiiieeee Barnes!
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment begins to play. The fans get on their feet and offer a very likable, cheery response for Josie Barnes. She steps out from behind the curtain with anxiety in her face. She’s got a HUGE task in front of her. Barnes sets down the ramp and doesn’t exert any wasted energy. She rolls in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet in the center of the ring~
Smith: Josie is still sporting that black eye she received last Monday.
Hood: It’s all purple and fuckin’ gross, man.
Smith: She is the Purple V.I.P.
~"Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits, Mack walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring with a noticeable limp. He is dressed in jeans and a black tank top. O’Connor proudly wears his new title belt. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. O’Connor doesn’t talk trash to Barnes but he makes sure to stare her down, letting her know he means business~
Hood: The Incredible One versus O’Connor was a real treat last week.
Smith: TIO is still missing.
Hood: Who cares?
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is OCW Paradigm Champion…Mack O’Connor!
Smith: Mack hands his title over to the referee and we are ready to go! The next round of the Margarita Mix!
Hood: Confidence just oozes from Mack O’Connor.
~Mack hands his title over to the referee then stares at Josie waiting for the bell. Barnes snarls at O’Connor but he refuses to acknowledge her. The bell sounds and the two wrestlers begin to circle each other. Mack charges in and drives a knee deep into Josie’s ribcage. He staggers back a bit, still showing discomfort in his knee. The shot takes her breath so O’Connor whips her toward the ropes. He follows close behind and as she bounces off the ropes on the opposite side, Mack comes in with a huge clothesline across her throat. The shot sends the much lighter Josie for a complete flip in the air. The crowd pops as O’Connor hooks a leg~
Hood: ONE!
Smith: KICKOUT! Josie kicks out at one but what a shot!
~Josie uses the middle rope to pull herself up. She catches her breath just as Mack charges again. He snatches the back of her head then drives it into his right knee cap! The pop can be heard by both announcers~
Smith: DID YOU HEAR THAT!
Hood: I couldn’t hear it over you…but why is he using his knee?
Smith: Good point…that knee was nearly torn to shreds one week ago
Hood: He must have drank a shit load of whiskey before wrestling tonight
~Barnes tries in vain to shake the shot off as O’Connor plots his next move. He turns his back to Josie briefly and she strikes! The diving calf kick sends Mack down to one knee~
Hood: O’Donnell may have twisted his ankle! FUCK!
Smith: Stop being so biased, Hood. Josie follows up with a standing missile drop kick!
~Barnes nails Mack in the side of the head with a picture perfect standing missile drop kick! The crowd pops as she heads for the corner. O’Connor hits the mat in a pile on his back. Josie climbs up on the turnbuckle then works the crowd a bit. She then dives off knee first! She catches Mack across the throat with her extended kneecap~
Smith: Barnes just tried to decapitate Mack O’Connor with her kneecap! She got payback for that brutal clothesline!
Hood: He can’t breathe! Make her stand back until he catches his breath!
Smith: What?
~Josie scrambles to hook one of Mack’s leg for a pin~
Hood: ONE!
Smith: TWO!
Hood: KICKOUT! Barnes nearly got him!
~Mack rolls out of the ring still holding his throat. Barnes slides through the ropes to give chase. O’Connor walks along the apron on the outside still clutching at his throat. Air refills both of his lungs just as Josie reaches him. He quickly kicks her in the gut leading her to bend slightly. Mack then turns and delivers a devastating jawbreaker! The crowd pops after the trademark maneuver~
Hood: HollowPoint! I see stars in Barnes eyes now!
Smith: Mack rolls her back in the ring!
~O’Connor is slow to do so but he does roll Josie back into the ring. She rolls over lifeless as he pushes her along. O’Connor gets back in the ring. The referee is standing directly behind Mack, who is now hovering above Josie. Barnes opens her eyes suddenly just as Mack leans down over her. He was looking for a pin but Josie pokes him in both eyes with her extended index and middle fingers! Mack flies backwards straight into the referee! The ref can’t catch his balance and hits his head on the middle turnbuckle in the corner when he falls. The referee then hits the mat completely unresponsive~
Smith: The referee is down! I sure hope they wake him up.
Hood: Yeah… I’m almost positive they will do that and not use this as an advantage whatsoever.
~O’Connor realizes what has happened before Josie. Barnes catches her breath then turns to see the referee is down and not moving. Mack is in the corner now undoing the string on the back of the top turnbuckle. He takes off the top turnbuckle cushion then tosses it aside. Barnes slowly gets to her feet while O’Connor is facing away from her. She charges suddenly at Mack! O’Connor shuffles his feet then adjusts to snatch Josie by the hair of the head as she comes in hot! He then uses her own momentum to drive her face into the bare turnbuckle! Josie bounces straight back flat onto the mat~
Hood: What a shot!
Smith: Josie is now not moving and the referee has yet to move. O’Connor looks like a man possessed now!
~Mack stands Josie up. She wobbles around on her feet. O’Connor then takes hold of her right wrist. He slings her toward the opposite corner. Josie flies into the corner with violent force then falls to the mat after impact. Mack follows up by then standing her up once more. He aims her at the bare turnbuckle across the ring. Barnes continues to hold on to Mack as he whips her past himself and toward the bare turnbuckle! She holds on to O’Connor then falls back pulling with all she has! O’Connor flies past her after the countermeasure! Mack flies into the naked turnbuckle chest first! He bounces back flat on his back. A solid red streak appears on his chest. The sharp turnbuckle left a nasty cut all the way across it~
Smith: Josie has drawn first blood on the Paradigm Champ!
Hood: That was a nice counter!
~Barnes gets back to her feet then glances over at the referee. He is still down and not moving at all. Josie grins a bit as she turns back toward Mack. O’Connor wipes his chest then looks at his blood smeared hand. Josie comes over and slowly pulls him back to his feet. Mack chops her suddenly across her chest! The stinging shot causes the front row to wince. Josie covers her chest leading Mack to strike! He smacks her across the face with a backhand, then hooks both her arms~
Hood: Claymore! Claymore!
Smith: O’Connor hooks a leg! This could be it!
~Mack hooks a leg then pulls it back to drive both Josie’s shoulder flush against the mat. O’Connor waits to hear the referee’s hand hit the mat~
Smith: ONE!
Hood: TWO!
Smith: THREE!
Hood: FOUR! The referee is still down!
Crowd: FIVE!
~Mack turns loose of Josie’s leg suddenly. He looks over at the referee who is still down in the corner. O’Connor shakes his head in disbelief then stands up. He walks over to the referee and begins shaking him. Mack slaps him in the face with little force attempting to wake the knocked out referee~
Smith: He is out! We need another referee down here!
Hood: The champ will wake him up. Just be patient!
~Josie stirs after a moment or two. She opens her eyes wide then shakes her head to clear the cobwebs. Barnes sits up straight as her eyes begin to focus. Mack tries in vain to wake the referee up. Josie slowly gets to her feet then carefully slips up behind O’Connor. She grabs him by the shoulder with one hand and the tights with the other. She sends the unsuspecting champion flying through the ropes. Mack lands on the outside of the ring! O’Connor hits the outside hard but still manages to get back to his feet quickly. Barnes gives chase by sliding out of the ring~
Hood: What is she thinking about doing?!
Smith: I’m no mind reader.
~Mack leans back on the announce table. Hood and Smith quickly move any items they need to commentate the show. Josie sneaks around the ring slowly while O’Connor isn’t paying attention. She charges suddenly! When Mack notices her it is already too late. Josie wraps both her arms around his neck while facing him then falls straight back. Barnes positions her knees out in front of herself as she falls back, driving them both into O’Connor’s face~
Smith: Barnes Experience!
~Mack bounces back onto the announcer’s table. He lays out flat across it breathing heavy with both eyes shut. Josie approaches him slowly~
Hood: Get him in the ring for a pin!
~Josie leans in to Hood and Smith hovering over Mack’s lifeless body~
Josie: I’m gonna make sure he’s done!
Smith: What does that mean?
Hood: Uh-Oh.
~Barnes rolls in the ring. She quickly climbs the top turnbuckle as the crowd goes wild. The referee is still down as she leaps off! Camera’s flash throughout to capture Josie in flight. Smith and Hood scatter as she flies in hot toward Mack! She hits the rounding moonsault leading the crowd to pop! The announce table shatters on impact. Hood is visibly upset by losing yet another announce table~
Crowd: This Is Awesome! This Is Awesome!
Hood: No it’s fucking not! Assholes! What in the fuck are we going to do now? I hate when they use our table, damn!
~The referee begins to stir while Josie and Mack are laid across the broken announce table. The crowd hits a fever pitch as the referee gets back to his feet. Barnes stirs a bit but then falls back down, ending up back across O’Connor~
Smith: We may have lost a table but this crowd loves this match!
~The referee looks around the ring as his head clears. He notices the naked turnbuckle but no wrestlers. He scans around the side of the ring looking for them. The referee finally notices the announce table is in pieces with both wrestlers laid out across it. He begins his count~
Hood: Josie begins to stir first!
~Barnes slowly begins to crawl at first toward the ring. She then gets to one knee. Then both her feet. The referee’s count reaches five! Josie is almost to the apron when Mack snatches her up from behind! He slings her toward the ringpost suddenly! Barnes head bounces off the side of the steel post! She falls to the floor in a pile as O’Connor slides in the ring to break the count~
Smith: They are both totally spent.
Hood: You can say that again.
~Mack lays flat on his back in the ring after rolling back in the ring. The cut across his chest oozes blood. When the table gave he felt a muscle pull in his back too. Josie peeks at him from behind the apron. She uses the bottom rope to pull herself up and on into the ring~
Hood: Barnes is now back in the ring but both wrestlers are totally exhausted. That high flying maneuver took everything out of both of them.
Smith: Mack is the first to stir!
~O’Connor stumbles to his feet by using the ropes as a guide. Josie rolls over then pushes herself up using all her upper body strength. They reach their feet at the same exact time. They turn to face each other in the center of the ring~
Smith: Josie’s taking the future hall of famer to the limit…Mack O’Connor is one of the best wrestlers in OCW history and he’s having trouble putting Josie away
Hood: He’s also got one leg…I don’t give a fuck how he’s looked tonight…that leg is screwed…he’s just all numbed up from a bunch of alcohol
Smith: Could be
~Josie sprints at Mack…he ducks…she leaps over with a Sunset Flip. Back grabs her by the hair and pulls her between his legs, to her feet. She breaks free from his grip and pummels Mack with left and right forearms! The crowd is on their feet, believing Barnes is going to pull this off. Mack stumbles into the ropes. Josie grabs him by the arm and shoots him off the ropes…he reverses, hooks Josie, spins around and drops her with CLAYMORE!!! The crowd pops out of surprise. Scruff slides in and counts as Mack makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Paradigm Champion….MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: Out of nowhere…Mack caught Josie…but, wow, what an effort
Hood: Her best match since joining OCW
Smith: Indeed…she’s improving…she just faced one of the best wrestlers on the planet and nearly won
Hood: Yep
Smith: Mack bounces back from his loss last week and Josie…well, despite her incredible effort loses another one…that’s okay…I see success in her future
Hood: This is the first time I’ve watched her wrestle and come away with the idea that she might…MIGHT win a title here
Smith: Her stock is rising! Well, let’s head backstage before we get to the latter part of our programming!
~TLS is backstage, basking in the GLOW of his victory over Julliet. Barry Man is Low is seen talking to the individual we saw earlier wearing the hat. He spots TLS heading their way~
Barry Man is Low: Excuse me, TLS! I’ve got someone here who is anxious to see you
~TLS heads over with the enthusiasm of a sloth. He tilts his head, expecting to be underwhelmed~
Barry Man is Low: You remember Noah Mackenzie…don’t you?
~The crowd goes wild! TLS’ expression perks up~
TLS: Yea, he was holding the Oh Shit contract while I was dominating the Ascension division back in 2015.
Barry Man is Low: Well we just re-signed him and he’s apparently interested in competing against you. He was planning on cashing his contract in on your Ascension belt at Hood Rich…before, well, you remember
TLS: Can he speak for himself or did he become a mute?
Noah Mackenzie: Oh, I can speak for myself
~Noah removes the hat, giving us a full view of the man in question. It really is NOAH MACKENZIE! The crowd pops a second time. TLS smirks~
TLS: That’s great that you’re all nostalgic and whatever…but I’ve got my sights set on the Purple VIP
Barry Man is Low: I think she’s already booked for next week.
TLS: Yea? Well I want my next match against her…not against an overhyped wrestler who falls short of expectations.
~Noah becomes furious over TLS’s comments. He moves toward him. Barry gets in the way. TLS turns around and heads off~
Barry Man is Low: Relax, Noah…we’ll figure something out
Noah Mackenzie: If you don’t, I will.
~Noah exits. Barry is left wondering how the hell he got stuck in this situation. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Noah Mackenzie is back!
Hood: Huge news! I’ve always been a fan of Noah…ever since that classic match he had against Kenshin in 2014
Smith: He’s had some great moments…unfortunately, he’s yet to put it all together….maybe this is the year!
Hood: Maybe…he’s got high ambitions going after TLS so quickly
Smith: He’s never lacked confidence…TLS, though, seems to be interested in a match with Josie
Hood: Yea but she’s got other plans? I thought she had next week off.
Smith: Who knows with this company
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: Noah Mackenzie is back, ladies and gentlemen which means OCW just got a heck of a lot tougher! Now…it’s time to move to another returning star from a few weeks ago…Tommy Crimson has a tremendous opportunity tonight as he takes on Rebel…the winner gets a shot at Iggy Hardy’s Savage Championship. Let’s head down to ringside!
OCW Savage #1 Contenders Match
Rebel (10-4) vs. Tommy Crimson (4-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest will be held under SAVAGE Rules. The winner will go on to face Iggy Hardy for the OCW Savage Championship on August 21st.
~The lights around the arena turn to red as the opening strains of "Slow Me Down" by the Devin Townsend Band play out, the lights flicker red and white. The camera swoops down to the entrance to show the silhouette of a man, his back turned to the camera, with his left hand raised in a fist above his head, the lights all suddenly burst on as a huge explosion rocks the arena. Rebel rotates quickly, pumping his fist at his side as he does, he begins the walk down to the ring, reaching out periodically to shake hands with the fans. He jumps up onto the ring apron and turns quickly, his arms wrapped around the top rope, again he pumps his left fist in the air then hops over the top rope. He walks around the ring, his fist raised, then stops in the middle, a bank of red fireworks sweep across the side of the ring behind him~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs…Rebel!!!
~The arena lights go out. The opening guitar lick of Deftones "Engine No. 9" hits throughout. The crowd immediately reacts with boos throughout. Tommy Crimson struts across the stage to the roar. Fire blasts cross the stage in front of Crimson in a straight line. OCW fans react harshly as he begins his descent down the ramp. Crimson riles up the crowd even further with his harsh and obscene hand gestures. The crowd continues to boo as he walks up the steps and slips through the ropes. Crimson points at a little girl in the crowd and gives her the finger before climbing the turnbuckle. "I own this!" he screams~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 170lbs…Tommy Crimson!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Big match here…you can almost feel a shift in momentum taking place…in terms of the OCW roster
Hood: Really? Is Meyhu no longer champ?
Smith: I’m talking about the entire roster, Hood. Not just one man
Hood: A MARVEL of a man
Smith: Rebel has been at or near the top of the card for months…but one can’t help but sense he’s beginning to fade…meanwhile nobody is rising faster than Crimson
Hood: Ah so out with the old new and in with the new old?
Smith: Uhh sure
~Crimson goes right after Rebel. He rushes Rebel back into his corner with a flurry of punches and kicks. Rebel tries fighting off the rabid Crimson. He manages to get his hands into Crimson’s chest and shoves Tommy back. Tommy staggers a few feet away, giving some momentary space. He sprints back toward Rebel, leaping through the air…Rebel ducks out of the way! Crimson’s face slams into the top buckle! He turns around, dazed and walks into a big boot from Rebel! Crimson hits the mat, hard~
Smith: An attempted fast start by Tommy Crimson halted, abruptly, by Rebel
Hood: I forgot Rebel worked here…the hell he’s been?
Smith: Resting…perhaps…that match against Iggy at Stainless Steel Ride was brutal
Hood: When’s that giant bike rally in one of the Dakotas…maybe THAT’S where he’s been
Smith: It’s in Sturgis, South Dakota and…well, it’s only a week away, apparently
Hood: Damn, I guess Rebel’s heading straight there after this match
Smith: Could be
~Rebel pulls Crimson back to his feet, by the hair. He drills Crimson in the head with a few forearms. Crimson backs against the ropes. Rebel hits him with a clothesline…Crimson tilts halfway over the top rope before returning to the mat. Rebel takes a few steps back and charges forward with a more forceful clothesline. Crimson ducks! Rebel’s arm flies over the top rope, wildly. Crimson takes off across the ring…he bounces off the ropes and charges at Rebel. Rebel turns around and is SMACKED in the face with a knee lift!!! Rebel teeters against the ropes, stunned~
Smith: VICIOUS knee lift by Crimson
Hood: Might have knocked some of Rebel’s teeth out
Smith: I hope not
Hood: He’s a biker…teeth don’t matter. Actually…I’d wager the worse your teeth look, the cooler you are
~Crimson lifts Rebel’s legs up, parallel to the mat. He has them under his arms…he quickly transitions the legs atop his shoulders. Rebel suddenly realizes he’s in a dangerous spot. His back is leaning against the top rope with his head tilted toward the ground. He tries to grab onto the ropes but Crimson shoves Rebel’s legs upward! Rebel tumbles backward, off the top rope, toward the ground. His body rotates one hundred eighty degrees…his face SLAMS into the apron the way down! His knees hit first…the rest of his body crashes to his right. He’s on the ground, in a heap as the fans at ringside chant “HOLY SHIT”~
Smith: What a nasty fall!
Hood: That’s why Rebel should always wear a leather jacket AND helmet
Smith: This is wrestling…not motorcycling
Hood: I’m just saying…biker’s seem more prone to dumbass accidents. So he should always be prepared
~Crimson stands near the ropes, looking down at Rebel. Rebel rolls onto his back. He reaches up, feeling his face. There isn’t any blood…but we can tell it’s tender to the touch. Crimson suddenly jumps into the air…he balances along the top rope and springboards off, to the floor! He comes crashing down onto Rebel’s chest with a Double Foot Stomp!!! Rebel yells in pain, rolling around, holding his chest! Crimson does a tuck and roll after impact, eschewing most of the pain. He rolls into the barricade harmlessly. He rotates around, sitting against it and stretching his legs, smiling while watching Rebel writhe around~
Smith: Crimson is laying it all on the line…he’s attempting to incapacitate Rebel
Hood: Well, I mean, isn’t that the point of wrestling?
Smith: True…but there’s a viciousness to Crimson. He enjoys inflicting pain on others
Hood: Isn’t that the American dream, to enjoy your career?
Smith: Never mind
~Crimson pops to his feet and heads for the ring steps. He removes the upper portion and holds it over his head. He stands over Rebel who is on his back. Rebel looks up, holding his hands out, begging Crimson to stop. Crimson throws the steps downward…they SLAM into Rebel’s chest!! Rebel’s limbs flatten out…he goes stiff. The steps bounce around, coming to rest right above Rebel’s head~
Smith: Ouch
Hood: No doubt Rebel will request first floor lodging for the rest of his life
Smith: It does make luggage transportation easier
~Crimson grabs Rebel by the hair, pulling him to his feet. He hoists Rebel onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. He position’s Rebel’s head facing the steps…he then proceeds to drop Rebel, head first, into the steel steps with a DVD!!! Rebel’s body flips over, off the steps, onto the floor, limply. Crimson pops to his feet, energized by the violence. The crowd tells Crimson to “FUCK OFF!”~
Smith: I’m not sure Rebel can rebound…he doesn’t seem the same
Hood: Did somebody slash his tires?
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
Hood: But you don’t KNOW so
~Crimson drags Rebel’s body up against the barricade. He’s slouched pretty severely with his chin almost leaning up on his chest. Crimson grabs the steps and turns them upside down. He wedges the longer, bottom step up against Rebel’s face. He takes several steps back…he then charges forward and performs a dropkick into the steps! It SMASHES the bottom step into Rebel’s face! His body barely reacts…unlike the fans who express their anger with boos. A few yell at Scruff to do something but Scruff simply shrugs~
Smith: He can’t do anything…Savage rules
Hood: Rebel’s face is fucked after that…ya know, more than it already was
Smith: I mean…one can’t help but be impressed by Crimson…but, on the other hand, it’s so sad to see this happen to Rebel
Hood: He’s going to be called Law Abiding Citizen after tonight
~Crimson yanks the steps away…Rebel’s face is bloodied. His nose looks to be broken…his teeth seem fucked up. There’s a gash in his forehead. In short – he’s a mess. Crimson grabs Rebel by the hair and drags his body toward the ring. He tosses Rebel in, under the bottom rope and slides in behind him. He runs his hands all over Rebel’s bloody face. The fans at ringside cringe~
Smith: Ugh! What is he doing?
Hood: Collecting food for Morbidus? Maybe they are buddies
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
Hood: Well, in that case, I don’t have a clue
~Crimson takes the hands and rubs them into Rebel’s hair. He turns the bleached blonde motif into a bright, MASSACRE-like red! The fans boo. Crimson rubs his hands off, on his chest, leaving two long, thick streaks and admires his work. He then lunges forward with a headbutt, knocking Rebel back to the mat. He pops to his feet and heads for the nearest corner~
Smith: And what point did that serve?
Hood: I never knew Crimson was a cosmetologist!
Smith: He’s mocking Rebel! What a disgrace
Hood: The new ‘do looks faboosh…to quote the Shadow Dancer
Smith: Please…not your style, Hood
~Crimson reaches the top rope. He looks down at Rebel…he soaks in the negative aura. He smiles and leaps off with GodBooked!!! He connects!!! The ring shakes with impact! Crimson covers Rebel…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the NEW #1 Contender for the OCW Savage Championship….TOMMY CRIMSON!!!!!
Smith: Domination
Hood: Hell yea…Tommy fucking Crimson is going all the way to the TOP…to THE TOP I SAY
Smith: We’ll see about that…now he’s got a date with Iggy Hardy
Hood: I wonder who’s picking up the tab?
Smith: I refuse to answer that question…so, instead, let’s head backstage
~We cut to a police station. Puffer is standing next to Cap Slock. Puffer is still sweaty and bruised from his opening match defeat. Cap Slock looks around, happily. He enjoys strict environments. An officer approaches them from behind a desk~
Officer: Can I help you?
Jack Puffer: Yes, Detective Jack Puffer here!
~The officer looks up and has no idea who Puffer is. He does, however, notice his bruising, swelling and sweating. He looks over at Cap Slock who looks back at him with a very serious demeanor~
Officer: Is everything okay, sir?
Jack Puffer: Oh no, everything is not okay. I’m afraid I have an emergency on my hands that should probably be discussed in private
Officer: Are you…afraid for your safety within this room? Is someone making you feel uncomfortable?
Jack Puffer: Uhh, sure, I guess. This type of news leaking out could create some major issues.
~The officer looks at Cap Slock whose eyebrows turn inward. He’s focusing but looks furious. The officer reaches over, touching Puffer’s hand~
Officer: Follow me to the back and you can tell me everything
Jack Puffer: That would be terrific!
~The Officer leads Puffer from behind the desk. Cap Slock follows…the Officer stops upon noticing Slock’s movements~
Officer: Excuse me, sir but I think it’s best if you wait out here
Cap Slock: AND WHY IS THAT, EXACTLY?
Officer: There’s no need for shouting, sir.
Cap Slock: WHO’S SHOUTING? I’D SIMPLY LIKE TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON. WHY CAN’T I GO BACK THERE? I’M EVERY BIT APART OF THIS AS HE IS.
Officer: Oh, I’m sure of that.
Cap Slock: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Jack Puffer: It’s okay, Captain…we can
Cap Slock: NO IT’S NOT OKAY, JACK
~Puffer’s body shakes from the loudness of Slock’s voice. It’s merely a reflex…nothing fear related~
Officer: Okay, that’s it…I’m going to have to ask you to leave
Cap Slock: LEAVE? BUT I PAY MY TAXES. I HONESTLY DON’T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS. IF SOMEONE COULD…
~ZAP!! Cap Slock is instantly tasered by the Officer. Puffer’s eyes widen. He’s shocked. The Officer pats him on the shoulder~
Officer: Now, let’s head to the back where you can tell me everything.
~Afraid of being next, Puffer nods, complying with the Officer. A couple of Officers grab Cap Slock and drag him out of the station…he’s unconscious. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Ah geez
Hood: Well, that’s what happens when you let members of our staff leave the OCW Arena
Smith: I guess…they don’t do well in public
Hood: Nope…this isn’t what I’d call a ‘normal’ staff
Smith: Not even close…and…I know it’s a shocker…but TIO is STILL missing without ANY leads
Hood: They’ll find him…Puffer always cracks the case!
Smith: Right…anyway, it’s time for one of the biggest matches of July…it’s time for Mike Zybala and Bradley Carrington…let’s head to ringside!
Grudge Match
“Professor” Bradley Carrington (7-3) vs. Mike Zybala (3-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a Grudge Match set for one fall!
~“Party Hard” by Andrew WK hits…the crowd loses their shit! Mike Zybala emerges from behind the curtain. Zybala enjoys his theme...it’s upbeat…it’s good music to fire up to. He spots Assassin warming up and rushes toward the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Buffalo, New York…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 175lbs… Mike Zybala!!!
~"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" by Weezer starts to play. The cheers turn to boos. Bradley Carrington steps onto the stage, wearing a grey t shirt that says "Carrington" in red letters on it, the 'C' has a graduate cap over it. He is reading a copy of his book: "Being the Best at Everything, the Bradley Carrington Story". He pauses, as if he is moved by his own writing, before closing the book and walking towards the ring. As he approaches the ring, he picks a fan in the front row, signs the book, and hands it to them. He jumps onto the ring apron, climbs in between the ropes, and poses for photos from his adoring fan AND WIFE - Autumn. He removes his t shirt and waits for the match to begin~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Ithaca, New York…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs…”Professor” Bradley Carrington!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: A huge match set to go down, Hood.
Hood: GO DOWN
Smith: Okay, fine, set to take place. Mike Zybala has been tormenting the former Aptitude members for months. He finally gets into the ring with one of them.
Hood: No monkeying around tonight…fists will fly
Smith: Indeed
~Autumn looks at Zybala with contempt. It’s apparent she’s no fan of the man and his antics. Zybala approaches Carrington. Bradley ducks his head through the ropes. Scruff impedes Zybala’s progress. Carrington motions toward Autumn…she rushes over and begins to rub his neck. The fans boo…a few chant ‘PUSSY’~
Smith: Oh come on, what is this!
Hood: The man has a seriously injured neck, Smith…it’s a medicinal miracle that he’s even able to compete tonight
Smith: He’s had two weeks…he should be fine and…if he isn’t, he shouldn’t have taken this match
Hood: A Cornell man never turns down a challenge, Smith. You obviously are no Cornell man…more like a COLGATE MAN
~Zybala argues with Scruff…but capitulates and returns to his corner. Carrington maneuvers back into the ring. He stretches his arms back and forth while bouncing on his toes. Zybala rushes toward him. Carrington AGAIN slides his head through the ropes, motioning toward his neck. Autumn reaches up, massaging his neck. The fans boo even louder this time. Zybala is extremely frustrated, trying to get Scruff to move~
Smith: What a joke
Hood: An injured neck is nothing to joke about, Smith
Smith: It’s not THAT injured…a little sore, sure…but far from injured
Hood: How dare you wish paralysis on the greatest man that ever lived!
~Zybala argues loudly with Scruff but backs away…with Scruff’s assistance this time. Carrington slides back into the ring and slaps his shoulders…NOW he looks ready. He waves Zybala to come at him. Zybala nods and doesn’t hesitate in obliging. Carrington IMMEDIATELY slips his upper torso back through the ropes, motioning toward his neck. Autumn rushes over, acting very concerned…she resumes massaging his neck. Scruff gets in front of Zybala who, at this point, looks ready to punch Scruff~
Smith: So are we going to sit around and watch Carrington get a massage all night?
Hood: I hope not…nothing against Carrington but I’m not really into that kinda thing
Smith: That’s not what I meant
Hood: Autumn on the other hand…
Smith: Kindly remove your mind from the gutter…please and thank you
~Zybala’s demeanor changes. He puts his hands up and says ‘okay’. He pats Scruff on the chest. Scruff motions for Zybala to move his hand up a bit higher. Zybala complies and starts to rub Scruff’s shoulder. Scruff smiles~
Smith: What the…
Hood: First time in history someone has massaged a bum…I’d think, anyway
Smith: You might be right
~Carrington slides back into the ring. He looks down at Autumn for a moment. Zybala, still rubbing Scruff’s shoulders, suddenly bends Scruff forward. He jumps up, onto Scruff’s body and springs off, toward Carrington. Autumn yells and points…Zybala’s legs fly at Carrington…they wrap around his head, spin him around and toss him across the ring with a Hurricanrana!!! The crowd goes wild!! Carrington flops around, holding his neck in pain~
Smith: Finally!
Hood: Has that man no heart?
Smith: He came here to wrestle…to fight…Carrington’s antics were obviously a ploy meant to gain an advantage
Hood: I think it’s clear he came here to cripple Carrington…all because Carrington is a CORNELL MAN.
Smith: Right
~Zybala kips up and soaks in the fan appreciation. He heads over to Carrington who is seated on the mat. Bradley back slides into a corner, extending his hands. He points at his neck, begging Zybala to leave him alone~
Smith: Don’t listen to him, Mike!
Hood: We need The Knife Man down here! Carrington’s neck may be fractured!
Smith: For the last time, it’s fine
Hood: You would say that…you filthy Colgate man
Smith: I didn’t graduate from Colgate!
Hood: Geez, why all the hate for Colgate, bro?
~Zybala stomps Carrington in the stomach. He grabs Carrington by the hair and drags him out of the corner, near the center of the ring. Scruff is upright, rotating his shoulders…they’ve never felt freer! Zybala locks Carrington’s head in a cravat. He twists his hands, turning Bradley’s neck. Carrington looks around for a second before crying out in immense pain! “MY NECK” he yells. Zybala looks at him like he’s crazy~
Smith: Nice cravat applied by Zybala…although I doubt it’s inflicting as much pain as Carrington’s ululations would lead one to believe
Hood: Somebody needs to stop this! For the love…we’re about to witness the ending of a legendary career
Smith: Histrionics on full display by my colleague
Hood: Of course I’m hysterical! This is building into a tragedy the likes of which Shakespeare would be unable to comprehend!
~Scruff rushes forward, concerned over Bradley’s neck ‘injury’. Zybala tightens the Cravat. Bradley yells “AHH!” Scruff tries to get Zybala to break but Mike won’t hear it. Mike lifts Carrington up and drops him onto the mat with a Cravat Suplex!! Carrington starts to move but looks around, suspiciously and flattens out. Zybala pops to his feet, ready to continue the assault when Scruff rushes over, kneeling next to Carrington. The crowd boos vociferously. Zybala places his hands on his hips nearing a point of exasperation~
Smith: Okay, this has reached a ridiculous level
Hood: Finally, we see eye to eye. Zybala has done enough trauma to the weakened neck of Carrington…he should be punished, fined and forced to watch The Emoji Movie
Smith: I pre-ordered tickets to see it…I think that movie is going to be swell!
Hood: Fuck off ya weirdo
~Zybala tries getting to Carrington, but Scruff won’t let him. Carrington’s eyes flutter. He tries speaking. He points with his hand, toward his neck. Scruff moves his hands around Carrington’s neck very carefully. Carrington is acting as though he’s paralyzed. Zybala maneuvers toward Carrington’s legs. He stands, looking down at Bradley. Scruff’s back is facing Zybala. Mike turns around, toward the ropes, shaking his head. Carrington’s leg lifts, slowly…it then jolts upward, nailing Mike in the crotch!! Zybala falls to the mat, holding his groin in pain. The crowd boos, telling Carrington to “FUCK OFF”~
Smith: What a jerk move!
Hood: I think he just regained feeling in his leg! He was trying to lift it…motion returned and it shot upward!
Smith: No…that’s not it at all. He lured Mike in by acting hurt and kicked him right in the groin
Hood: I never knew you hated crippled people so much
Smith: Handicapped! Stop being so insensitive
Hood: Me? You’re the one ready to chop Bradley’s legs off!
~Carrington sits up, miraculously! Scruff is wowed by his healing powers. He crawls over to Zybala and tries to lock in the CORNELL CLUTCH. Zybala knows what’s coming, he fights Carrington’s legs away from his head and slides out of the ring. Carrington sits up, frustrated…he was close. Zybala watches Carrington from outside the ring~
Smith: Mike Zybala HAS reportedly escaped the Cornell Clutch in the past…but I doubt he’d like to try it a second time
Hood: So Carrington’s never beaten Zybala…right?
Smith: That’s the word on the street!
Hood: Which street?
Smith: Any street
Hood: Wow, pretty popular word
~Autumn’s blurred profile catches the side of Zybala’s eye. He turns, facing her…getting a clear view of Carrington’s wife. She’s not up to anything nefarious…just maintaining a presence. Carrington capitalizes…he grabs onto the top rope and leaps over with a plancha…Zybala, however, leaps into air and catches Carrington in the face with an Enziguri!! Carrington’s head and shoulders snap back…he lands on his knees. Zybala pops to his feet and throws a swift kick into Carrington’s face, knocking him onto his back. The crowd goes wild. Autumn shakes her head, covering her face in a motion that says, “Ah geez”~
Smith: Carrington’s attempt at gaining an advantage via distraction blew up in his face…LITERALLY
Hood: Well, not literally…Zybala’s foot is still intact
Smith: True
Hood: Carrington is wrestling like a desperate fucker…Zybala pointed out…and with evidence to support his claim…that Carrington has been on somewhat of a losing streak lately
Smith: He did beat Canon…but, yea, every major match he’s had for a title has failed to go his way
Hood: The gentleman at Harvard and Yale are taking note…you can bet on that
~Zybala mocks Carrington’s injured neck. He grabs his neck and winces before laughing…the fans at ringside laugh along. A ‘PUSSY’ chant sounds out. Autumn starts to get angry…she obviously doesn’t enjoy her husband’s courage being called into question. Zybala encourages the chant~
Smith: Zybala maybe a little TOO cavalier in his actions against a man he’s undefeated against
Hood: Key word being undefeated…it’s like big brother, little brother…doesn’t matter how good the little brother is…big brother ALWAYS has the advantage
Smith: True…but Carrington isn’t Drew Stevenson…this man has talent!
Hood: Ouch
~Zybala grabs Carrington by the hair…focusing his attention back on inflicting damage and punishment. He pulls Carrington to his knees and instantly locks a face front lock in. Carrington tries fighting out of it, but Zybala’s grip is too tough. He squeezes down on Carrington’s neck, perhaps testing the severity of this ‘neck injury’~
Smith: Well….if the neck WEREN’T injured…it might be now
Hood: What a dickface!
Smith: That seems harsh
Hood: What’s worse…a dick face or a dick head?
Smith: I’d say they are interchangeable
~Scruff begins a count. He hits ‘THREE’ and Zybala alters his positioning. He grabs Carrington’s free arm, which is hanging toward the ground. He throws it over his neck and lifts Carrington up for a Suplex! Zybala’s back is facing the ring. He takes a few steps forward and falls backward…Bradley’s back SLAMS into the edge of the apron!! He flips over, landing on his front…he instantly reaches for his back, writing around. Zybala pops back to his feet and rolls into the ring. Scruff continues to count, hitting “FIVE!”~
Smith: Carrington’s back could be seriously injured…that was an innovatively nasty fall
Hood: He’s a Cornell man…his back is fine
Smith: Well, I hope so…but he does need to keep the count in mind…he’s close to being counted out
Hood: Are you insinuating a Cornell man can’t count? HOW DARE YOU
Smith: Of course not!
~Scruff yells “SEVEN!” Autumn rushes over…Carrington complains about his neck and his back. She urges him to get up. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” Listening, at this point, Carrington hears the count and struggles to his feet. Scruff yells ‘NINE!’ Carrington falls to one knee~
Smith: He’s going to get counted out!
Hood: What a bitch way to lose a grudge match
~Scruff is about to yell ten. Carrington pops to his feet and he rolls in under the bottom rope!! The crowd rises and falls with excitement…they applaud the match’s continuance. Zybala doesn’t applaud…he decides to stomp on Carrington, keeping him isolated on that mat~
Smith: Carrington has extended the match…but for how long? His neck is, at the very least, bothered and his back…well, that’s got to be aching
Hood: You make the guy sound like he’s 80
Smith: People can obviously SEE he’s far younger than that
Hood: Not the ones listening on OCW Radio
Smith: These shows are broadcast on the radio?
Hood: Oh hell yea…1245 AM!
Smith: I always wanted to be an AM radio host
Hood: That fucking figures
~Zybala relents. The crowd is a bit surprised…urging Zybala to stay on top of Carrington. But, he’s got other ideas. He stands back, waiting for Carrington to get to his feet. Bradley finally does…he reaches for his back, wincing…he turns around, facing Zybala. As he does…he gets DRILLED with a Superkick!!! Carrington’s body straightens…it stiffens…and it falls to the mat. Zybala goes for the cover…the fans count along with Scruff~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: He kicked out!
Hood: Thank you, Captain Obvious
Smith: Zybala really leaned into that Superkick…I thought Carrington was finished but…he evidently has some energy remaining
Hood: Yea but, I mean…he’s never defeated Zybala…he’s getting his ass kicked tonight…why not just lay down? Live to fight another day…move on to something he can handle. He obviously can’t handle a man of Zybala’s caliber…and, trust me, as a huge CORNELL FAN…this pains me to say
Smith: Wow, you jumped off the boat rather quick
~Zybala doesn’t show frustration. He remains confident. He pulls Carrington up, knowing it could take awhile for Bradley to stand and, if he allowed Carrington to stand on his own, he’d be closer to recovery. Carrington is on his feet, wobbly. Zybala hits the ropes, bounces off…he spins 360 degrees and goes for a BITCHSLAP! Carrington, however, surprises…he evidently senses what is coming, grabs Zybala’s backhand and seamlessly traps Mike in the Cornell Clutch!! Carrington falls to the mat, on his back, synching the lock in. Mike reaches with his hands…he kicks with his legs, trying to find an escape. Scruff slides into view, asking Zybala if he wants to give it up~
Smith: The Cornell Clutch! Carrington was finally able to lock it in!
Hood: You know what…fuck that laying down shit…choke him out, Professor!
Smith: For a man who hates the fickle fans….you sure are acting like one
Hood: Fuck off
~Zybala’s feet are near the ropes. It’s unclear if he realizes it. His head is turned down, unable to look up and gather a sense of proximity. He continues kicking his legs, however. Bradley leans forward, applying even more pressure. Zybala’s movements start to slow. The fans rise with concern. Autumn’s cheers are heard, meaning the crowd is quieting. Carrington smiles…he can sense it…he can feel it…his first win against Zybala~
Smith: Mike Zybala is just about finished…Carrington knows it! Look at him…he’s already hearing the bell ring!
Hood: Talk about wrestling like a champ! He takes that punishment…WITH a near broken neck coming in…hangs in there AND gets the Cornell Clutch. Future OCW Champ, Smith!
Smith: He might be that…but I still that umbrage with the ‘broken neck’ narrative
Hood: That’s because you the only person, in your mind, who could overcome a severe injury and win a match is…Alice Knight
Smith: She sure is special
~Zybala is fading…he appears on the verge of either tapping or passing out. Scruff asks Zybala if he wants to quit. He declines. Scruff grabs Mike’s arm…it’s devoid of life. He lifts it up…it hits the mat. The fans start to change for Zybala. The chants energize his lifeless body. He starts to shake and kick…he begins to drag Carrington…he doesn’t have to go far…he drags Carrington backward a few feet before extending a leg and hanging it over the bottom rope!! The crowd goes wild! Scruff issues a break. Carrington keeps the hold…Scruff counts…1…2…3…4…Carrington releases! Zybala remains on the mat, in obvious pain. Carrington returns to his feet, annoyed~
Smith: That’s the second time…to my knowledge, Zybala has escaped the Cornell Clutch
Hood: And the previous escape resulted in Zybala defeating Carrington for a championship
Smith: Indeed…some tough memories rushing back for Bradley
Hood: Needs to block that shit out…Zybala is still a pile of debris…kick his ass…you’re almost there, Carrington!
~Carrington is having trouble escaping his frustration. Autumn snares his attention, shouting words of focus. He nods, finding a happy medium. He turns…Zybala is on his knees. Carrington fires up and sprints toward Zybala…he’s looking for the Bomaye knee! Zybala ducks the knee. Carrington stumbles, into the ropes. Zybala takes off running…he hits the opposite ropes and bounces off. Carrington regains his balance and turns around, rushing forward. Zybala rotates 360 degrees and he DRILLS Carrington in the head with a backhanded slap!!! Carrington hits the mat! Zybala crumbles to the mat after the move, still suffering from the Cornell Clutch. A ‘Zybala’ chant fills the OCW Arena~
Smith: Disrespect!! Zybala out of nowhere…he might have this thing won!
Hood: Son of a bitch…I guess he’s just got Carrington’s number
Smith: And which number do you think that’d be?
Hood: Hmmmmm….I’ll say a prime number
Smith: Really?
Hood: Oh, really…because you can’t divide the people of Cornell!
~Zybala gets to his knees…he crawls over and makes the cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close…but not quite
Hood: So glad he didn’t win with a fucking bitch slap…I mean, sure, maybe on someone like Jack Puffer…but not BRADLEY CARRINGTON
Smith: Well, you can relax….because he failed to score a pinfall with it
Hood: Thanks Frankie…I shall RELAX
~Zybala is slow to his feet…Carrington remains on the mat, stunned by Disrespect. Zybala hoists Carrington up and onto his shoulders in an inverted fireman’s carry. The crowd rises with excitement~
Smith: Sound of Silence! He’s going for Sound of Silence!
Hood: Yelling it over and over kind of defeats the purpose, Smith
Smith: It’s only a name, Hood
Hood: Try telling that to a Lannister!
~Carrington, realizing the position he’s in, throws a few downward elbow strikes into the trapezius of Zybala. Mike drops Carrington to the mat, holding his neck/shoulder area in pain. Carrington recovers and hits the ropes…he runs at Mike and leaps into the air, legs first. He goes for a Hurricanrana! Or, well, that’s what it looks like, initially. Instead of taking Zybala down, he wraps his legs around his head and tries to transition back into the Cornell Clutch!~
Smith: Wow! What athleticism…what a great idea…this could do it
Hood: If it doesn’t…I’d say he’s finished…Zybala has countered everything
Smith: That he has…this is definitely a hurdle Carrington needs to clear if he wants to have any shot at succeeding in OCW
Hood: May not happen…but, hey, the tag division is wide open!
~Zybala quickly understands what’s about to take place. He musters all his strength to lift Carrington in the air. Bradley has yet to completely lock in the hold. Mike slams Carrington into the mat with a powerbomb!! Carrington still tries hooking in the hold…Mike slams him a second time into the mat with a powerbomb! This time, Carrington’s limbs lose their strength…he’s prone, vulnerable~
Smith: A double powerbomb…that might have done it
Hood: Ugh
Smith: Bradley Carrington has done his best…it just doesn’t seem as though his best is good enough when it comes to Mike Zybala
Hood: He just needs something…a little help to get that first win…once he’s got it, he’ll be a different man
~Zybala takes the beaten Carrington and hoists him back onto his shoulders in position for Sound of Silence. The crowd is going wild. Zybala reaches the center of the ring. He looks at the OCWtron…ready to deliver the inverted Go To Sleep. That’s when a song begins to play…~
Smith: What’s that?
Hood: Music
Smith: Yes…but what kind of music?
Hood: Really lame music, apparently
~Zybala looks to the OCWTron…a man’s ass in glittery, pink pants shakes. “Shadow Dancing” by Andy Gibb plays throughout the arena! The crowd gives a shocked response. “ATM!” flashes all over the screen. It finally ends with the words…~
~Zybala drops Carrington and approaches the ropes. He’s smiling…laughing. He claps, proving to be a big fan of the featured performer~
Smith: Hood…that’s a promo for…THE SHADOW DANCER
Hood: What the fuck? No…please, no
Smith: I don’t know why it just aired but…that’s exactly who that was
~Zybala shakes his head, laughing…about to turn his attention back to Carrington. He turns around and is met with a flying BOMAYE knee from Carrington!!! Zybala hits the mat hard! His knees wind up near his ears…he’s folded up. Carrington staggers to his feet and straightens Zybala’s body out. He hurries for the corner…quickly ascends and looks down at Zybala. He leaps off with the PhD Press!! The fans boo. They yell “FUCKING JOKE!” Carrington covers Zybala…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…”PROFESSOR” BRADLEY CARRINGTON!!!!!
Smith: Carrington did it! He finally defeated Mike Zybala!
Hood: With the help of a dancing weirdo’s video package
Smith: Yea…I wonder if that was meant to aid or harm Zybala’s chances…it could be either one, really
Hood: Harm, for sure
Smith: But enough about The Shadow Dancer…how about Bradley Carrington? He finally broke through, defeating Zybala for the first time in his career!
Hood: That’s a huge fucking win…and regardless of how the match ended…Carrington earned that victory
Smith: Indeed…he survived a Superkick…some disrespect and a few questionable injuries
Hood: Only thing questionable about this match is your professionalism!
Smith: I don’t know about that…but Carrington just secured the biggest win of his OCW career…he’ll have a great night, I’m sure…however, I doubt it’s over between these two.
Hood: I guess…depends on how Zybala reacts to that damn Shadow Dancer video
Smith: Ya know…it’s a very familiar promo…one could argue that Carrington himself had someone air it
Hood: He wouldn’t do that!
Smith: Uh...yea he would. So much intrigue surrounding the finish there…I can’t wait to see where it goes…however, in the meantime, let’s head backstage!
~The OCW Survivor Logo displays~
Back in 2014 these two did battle at Universal Studios, Orlando for the OCW Southern Championship. Pryde would emerge victorious in OCW’s most famous match – The Hazardous Ladder Match. The win would catapult him into superstardom – eventually earning him a spot in the OCW Hall of Fame.
Maurako, on the other hand, would soon be abducted…vanishing from OCW for over a year. Many would blame the loss as the genesis for his downfall.
Now it’s 2017 and these two men square off yet again…this time, for a much different prize. Pryde and Maurako will answer questions from their peers. Upon answering those questions, their peers will cast votes on who they think should claim the first ever OCW Survivor trophy.
Many months’ worth of scheming, planning, gaming have led to this. Two hall of famers…two legends…two survivors…one winner. Tune in on Friday to find out who wins OCW Survivor!
~We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: I don’t know about you, Hood…but I can’t wait
Hood: You kidding me? Aside from Game of Thrones…OCW Survivor is my favorite TV show!
Smith: That’s acceptable…who do you think wins, Maurako or Pryde?
Hood: I don’t know…Pryde might have fucked up taking Lurrr
Smith: Indeed…I think everyone expected him to take Lurrr…but, instead, he took Maurako
Hood: Yep…and it could cost him
Smith: We’ll find out on Friday…in the meantime…one of the final two remaining Survivors is scheduled to compete in tonight’s main event. Mario Maurako and his best friend – a man he voted out of Survivor, by the way…Paul Paras will defend their Tag Team Titles against The Lockwood Party
Hood: Let’s do this, Brutus!
Smith: Down to ringside we go!
OCW Tag Team Championship
Perfectly Marvelous © (1-0) vs. The Lockwood Party (1-0)
Belvedere: It is now time for our Main Event of the Evening!! This match is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall and it is for the OCW Tag Team Championship!!!
~”Punch in the Face” by Frenzal Rhomb hits. The OCW fans in attendance boo loudly. The Lockwood Party…Tim and Jack Lockwood emerge from behind the curtain. They appear excited…eager to face Perfectly Marvelous for the OCW Tag Team Titles. They hustle down the ramp and split when they hit the ring. Tim to the left, Jack to the right…they climb the steps and enter through the ropes~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from The East Bay, California…at a total combined weight of 420lbs…The Lockwood Party!!!
~The crowd quiets with great anticipation. "Invincible" by OK Go hits! The arena goes wild! A “PM” chants sounds through. Tim and Jack shake their heads, unmoved by the reception. Mario Maurako and Paul Paras emerge from behind the curtain!! The ovation steps up a notch. The duo bask in the crowd’s admiration for a moment before heading down the ramp, toward the ring. They enter, through the ropes each with their OCW Tag Title over their shoulder~
Belvedere: And their opponents…at a total combined weight of 520lbs…they are considered the greatest tag team in OCW history…they are…Perfectly Marvelous!!!
~The music ends. The crowd continues chanting “PM!” Maurako and Paras hand Belvedere their belts…he exits, carting the belts to safety. The bell rings~
Smith: A lot of interesting noise surrounding this match…many people think The Lockwoods haven’t earned a match of this caliber
Hood: Yea, okay…fair enough…who would we put in their place? Aptitude is dead…Dravers are off the map…the spider freaks defected to some other place…The Lockwoods were...are our only option
Smith: Indeed…the tag division is low on formidable combinations
Hood: And, who knows…Aptitude AND PM were both debuting/returning as a team when they won the belts…so who’s to say the Lockwoods AREN’T the team to dethrone PM?
Smith: They very well could be
~Jack starts the match off for the Lockwoods. Paras remains in the ring while Maurako heads for the apron. The two circle one another. A ‘PM’ chants surrounds them. They approach…both man looks for an advantage…an opening. Jack lunges forward, looking for a lock up…Paras averts the lock up and snares Jack’s right arm, twisting and pulling it around, behind the Lockwood brother. Jack winces, reaching for the afflicted arm that is wrenched to the side and around his back. Paul torques the pressure, increasing Jack’s discomfort~
Smith: Paul applying pressure to Jack’s left arm…Jack, to my knowledge, is right handed
Hood: So this move means nothing
Smith: No, it means something…just because a person is right handed doesn’t mean their left arm is useless. Try pinning your left arm behind YOUR back and see how difficult ordinarily simple tasks become
Hood: I’ll pass
~Jack walks forward, dragging Paras near the ropes. He leans into them. Scruff issues a break. He counts…1…2…Paras releases. Jack leans further against the top rope and yanks his left around around…he massages the fleshy portion, just beneath the shoulder with his left hand. Paras stands back, near the middle of the ring, eager for Jack to greet him. The crowd switches their chant from ‘PM’ to ‘PARAS!’~
Smith: Slow start here…and that’s exactly what I think Paras was going for
Hood: Bore us to death with arm locks so that we’d fall asleep before witnessing their eventual defeat?
Smith: No…frustrate the Lockwoods…force them into making a mistake
Hood: Well that shouldn’t take long…the Lockwoods have the patience of a great white shark that has spotted a Brody
~Jack turns around. He scowls at Paras, angry and probably somewhat embarrassed. He rushes forward, faster than before. He manipulates his shoulders in a deceptive manner giving off the elusion he’s about to throw a right hand. He throws a left hand! Paras ducks and intercepts the arm! He twists, turns and pins the left arm against Jack’s back! Jack winces in pain and slams his feet into the ground with frustration. The crowd claps~
Smith: See? Didn’t take long…Jack’s already lost his composure
Hood: Think he’ll lose his left arm?
Smith: I hope not!
Hood: Yea but losing an arm helped Luke Skywalker…and he also had an absent father, just like the Lockwoods!
Smith: I don’t think there’s a connection to be made, Hood
~Jack manages to work his way back into the ropes. Scruff rushes in, issuing a second break. He counts…1…2…3….Paras releases! It’s identical to the previous hold until…A RIGHT ELBOW SHOOTS BACK…it drills Paras in the face!! Paul staggers, holding his mouth in a combination of pain and shock. Jack spins around…he leans against the ropes, ricochets off and drills Paul to the mat with a right armed lariat!! The crowd boos!! Paul hits the mat hard. Jack returns to his feet, holding his left arm~
Smith: So much for sportsmanship!
Hood: He’s a Lockwood…don’t you remember ANYTHING about their past in OCW?
Smith: You have a point
Hood: They stole the tag titles from Awe.Some at Revenge...remember, they flew in on a helicopter
Smith: Yes, yes, I remember
~Jack extends his right arm…he bends it at the elbow and falls to the mat, driving the elbow into the chest of Paras. He remains seated on the mat and goes after Paul’s face with his right hand. Paul kicks, trying to fight Jack away. Scruff issues another count…Jack breaks near five. Upon releasing, Jack transitions directly into straight right hands, pummeling away on Paul’s forehead~
Smith: Jack not giving the former OCW Champion any room for recovery
Hood: Well of course not…Paras is one of the greatest wrestlers in HISTORY…why would you give him an opportunity to recover?
Smith: I’m just saying
Hood: Nonsensical shit!
~Jack snares Paul by the hair, pulling him to his feet. He drags him into the corner. Jack tags in Tim. Paul breaks free from Jack’s grip and strikes him with a vicious right hand! Jack’s body slams into the corner. Tim steps in and drills Paul in the left side of the head with a vicious left forearm! Paul falters to his right. Tim punches him in the left kidney area. Paul falls to his knees. Tim kicks Paul in the head, sending the Perfect One back to the mat. The crowd boos…Tim wakes Jack up…who proceeds to exit the ring and recuperating on the apron~
Smith: And the vicious brawling of Tim Lockwood is on full display
Hood: Yea, Jack’s the wrestler…although he didn’t do much of that while in the ring…Tim is the brawler
Smith: Which doesn’t bode well for a man in Paul’s vulnerable state
Hood: I didn’t know Paul was Hawaiian
Smith: What? He’s from Minnesota…everybody should know that by now
Hood: You SAID vulnerable state…it doesn’t get more vulnerable than Hawaii…all out there in the ocean, by itself…heck, just look back to 1941
Smith: Hold it right there!
~Tim returns his focus to Paul, who is on all fours, working his way back up. Tim kicks Paul in the ribs…Paras flips onto his back. Tim runs into the ropes…he bounces off…he stops when he reaches Paul and drops to the mat driving a fist into Paul’s head! Paul’s legs kick, his body squirms upon impact. Tim returns to his feet, taunting the already angered crowd~
Smith: It’s been nothing but fists and kicks from the Lockwoods
Hood: Hey, if it works why change?
Smith: Indeed…they are in control at the moment
Hood: So much for all that ‘wrestling’ nonsense
~Paras continues to fight against the pain inflicted. He sits up. The crowd responds. Tim turns around and smiles…enjoying the idea of keeping Paul down. He heads the Perfect One’s way, snaring a hand full of hair. He pulls Paul to his feet and hits him with a few quick forearms. He whips Paul into the ropes…Paul bounces off…Tim knees Paul in the gut! Paras doubles over…Tim turns Paul around and hooks him around the waist for a German Suplex~
Smith: Tim is decently versed in the art of the suplex
Hood: I didn’t know wrestlers were so into the German culture
Smith: Because of the German Suplex?
Hood: Yea man, that’s, like, the most common suplex
~Tim lifts Paras up…Paras fights back to the mat, returning to his feet. Tim tries lifting Paras a second time…this time it looks like a person hauling dead weight. Tim can’t get him over…Paras returns to his feet. Tim pummels Paul’s back with a few forearms, weakening his defense. He reapplies both hands around Paul’s waist. He lifts Paul up…Paul breaks free in the air, grabs Tim’s head and falls to the mat, nailing Tim with a cutter!! Tim remains face down, unconscious! The crowd goes wild as Paul rolls onto his knees, forehead against the mat, breathing heavily~
Smith: What a counter! Paul just stunned Tim Lockwood…he needs to tag Mario!
Hood: Fucking Paras…gotta hand it to the guy, he’s good
Smith: That’s why…at this level…at a championship level…you need to be able to do more than brawl
Hood: Try telling Mack O’Connor that
~Tim starts to do a push up, recovering from the post-cutter stun. Paras climbs to one knee, he gets to his feet and gathers his wits. Tim is kneeling. Paras spots Mario, thanks to Mario’s loud “OVER HERE!” shout. Paras heads over and tags Mario in! The crowd gives a strong reaction. Mario steps through the ropes. Tim is on his feet…he turns around and is run over by a shoulder block! Tim gets back to his feet quickly…Mario leans into the ropes, ricochets off and takes Tim down with a clothesline!! Again, Tim gets to his feet…Mario peppers him with right hands, backing Tim into a corner. Mario climbs to the middle rope, shows off his giant, closed right fist and drills it into Tim’s head. The crowd counts along with every strike~
Smith: The bulk of the team, Mario Maurako is showing Tim Lockwood how a real man throws a punch
Hood: Wow, way to THEON Tim Lockwood
Smith: Ugh, don’t remind me…jumping off the boat like a milquetoast!
Hood: Hey man, he has no dick
~The fans yell ‘TEN!’ Mario pauses…he shrugs and throws one more punch to the chant of ‘ELEVEN!’ Mario hops down. Tim leans forward…Mario consumes Tim with his arms, lifts him into the air, turns around and drills Tim into the mat with a Spinebuster!!! He goes for a quick pin…Scruff slides in, making the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: A premature cover, perhaps…but a person never knows unless they try
Hood: The arrogance of Mario…thinking he can pin a Lockwood after a SPINEBUSTER…an Alabama Slam, maybe
Smith: Well, to be fair, he did hit him eleven times in the head prior to the spinebuster
Hood: Yes, I remember…the fans made sure I kept count
~Mario returns to his feet. He pulls Tim up and hoists him over his shoulders. He carries him into the corner and tosses Tim through the air…Tim’s face SLAMS into the top buckle with Snake Eyes!! He falls back, into Mario’s grasp…Mario hooks Tim for an Inverted DDT…but, instead, lifts him up and drops him with an inverted suplex!! Tim lands front first onto the mat, holding his midsection in pain~
Smith: Great maneuvering and power by Mario Maurako…the greatest wrestler in OCW history to never capture the OCW Title
Hood: Hey, if he wins Survivor he’ll get another shot
Smith: The Marvelous One vs. The Marvel…
Hood: Sounds like a 500 million dollar blockbuster directed by Michael Bay!
Smith: You had me until the last part
~Mario looks over at Paul, who is still recovering…not quite 100% yet. So, he pulls Tim from the mat. Tim responds with a quick rake of the eyes! Mario stumbles backward. Scruff yells at Tim but, ultimately does nothing about it. Tim’s base is weak…he’s endured quite a lot. He grabs Mario by the arm and whips him into his team’s corner before falling back to a knee. Mario hits the corner with less than average force. Tim waves Scruff over…Scruff, like every referee in existence, steps near the pleading party. In the background, Jack wraps the tag rope around Mario’s throat and starts to choke Maurako. The fans boo…Paras yells to get Scruff’s attention. Mario kicks his legs and tries to break free as his face turns darker than the rest of his body~
Smith: Hey! That’s cheating!
Hood: Only if you get caught, Smith
Smith: No, it’s cheating regardless…they are breaking the rules
Hood: Blame Scruff…the Lockwoods are just doing what they can get away with
~Scruff looks around, distracted by the commotion. Jack removes the tag rope and extends his hand, looking for a tag. Mario leans forward, coughing, holding his irritated throat. Tim climbs to his feet…he stumbles forward and tags Jack back in! Jack steps through the ropes and straightens Mario up. He slices through Mario’s enormous chest with a knife edged chop. The fans groan…Mario leans forward, eyes widened from the impact~
Smith: Vicious chop…those will chase the wind right out of a person’s lungs
Hood: Why is wind so…what’s that word again?
Smith: What word?
Hood: The theon word
Smith: Milquetoast
Hood: Yea…why is wind such a milquetoast!
Smith: I don’t think that’s an accurate correlation
Hood: Sure it is…you know how when someone is way too emotional people say shit like they change their minds like the wind changes direction
Smith: I’d say that’s more capricious than it is a milquetoast
Hood: Whatever…this topic is stupid
Smith: Hey, you brought it up
~Jack hooks Mario’s head under his arm…he grabs Mario’s leg, lifts him up and drops him near the center of the ring with a Fisherman’s Suplex!! He doesn’t bridge into a pin. Instead, he releases Mario’s leg and pops back to his feet. He runs into the ropes, bounces off and drops a leg across Mario’s chest, keeping the big man down~
Smith: Efficient offense from Jack Lockwood…with Mario down they’ve cut off a big portion of the Perfectly Marvelous duo
Hood: Yea, but it’s not like Paras is Tony the fucking Spider. He’s still a big guy
Smith: Indeed…two wrestlers from an era where everyone was over six feet two and around 250 pounds
Hood: Yep, bunch of badasses
~Jack pulls Mario back to his feet…he delivers a swift kick into Mario’s abdomen. Mario doubles over. Jack performs a double underhook. He braces his lower body for a heavy lift. He hoists Mario into the air…the fans voices rise with Mario…they are surprised to see the strength within Jack’s core. He has Mario vertical…before dropping him with a brainbuster!!! Mario’s head hits the mat!! He sits up, momentarily, before falling backward, onto the mat. Jack pops to his feet, fired up. He runs into the ropes, bounces over and performs ROLLING THUNDER. He lands right on top of Mario…rolls over, hooks one leg and goes for a pin…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
Kick out!!
Smith: Close but not quite…great array of offense by Jack Lockwood…tremendous strength lifting Mario in that manner
Hood: It’s a good thing Mario’s got a lot of meat in his head…otherwise that could have done some brain damage
Smith: Meat in his head?
Hood: He’s a meat head!
Smith: Oh, right..ha…ha…
~Jack is frustrated, but not to the point of distraction. He pulls Mario up and whips him into his corner. Mario hits hard. Jack heads over to Paras, talking trash. Paras starts to step through the ropes. He instantly realizes his error and steps back…but it’s too late, Scruff rushes over. With Scruff’s attention diverted, Tim wraps his hands around Mario’s throat and chokes him. Jack rushes over and lays some stiff kicks into Mario’s midsection. Tim keeps an eye on Scruff. Paras points and, calmly, explains the situation to Scruff. Scruff turns around…Tim releases Mario’s neck instantly, holding his hands in the air. Jack continues kicking Mario…Scruff rushes over and questions Tim…the fans boo and chant “TIM SUCKS!”~
Smith: It’s just a shame…I believe these two would be just as good without the cheating
Hood: So? Work smarter, not harder
Smith: Or how about winning with honor
Hood: Since you referenced Theon…I’ll throw out Ned Stark
Smith: DON’T REMIND ME!
~Jack delivers a few forearm uppercuts before tagging Tim back in. Tim steps through the ropes and approaches the center of the ring. Jack lifts Mario for a slam…he hoists Mario over his shoulder…he throws Mario at the mat for a powerslam…Tim gets his feet up, places them in Mario’s back and hits Mario with a variation of the Backstabber as Mario’s body falls to the mat!! Mario arches his back in pain. Jack scurries out of the ring while Tim makes a cover~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Another near fall for the Lockwoods…they’re getting close
Hood: Fucking great move…what do they call it?
Smith: Nothing
Hood: Ah, deep
Smith: No…that’s not the name…I meant the move has no name
Hood: Oh
~Tim rushes to his feet, arguing with Scruff about the count. Paras reaches out, urging Mario to tag him in. Mario rolls onto his front and looks over at Paul. Jack yells at Tim to focus on Mario, not Scruff. Tim turns around and sees Mario crawling, slowly toward Paras. He runs over and kicks Mario in the back of the head! Mario stops moving. Tim’s momentum carries him in front of Paul…he stares at Paras and flashes an arrogant grin. Paul stares back at Tim, remaining stoic~
Smith: He’s taking mental notes
Hood: Or he’s FROZEN WITH FEAR
Smith: You really think Paul Paras…the man who has faced every threat and danger this business has to offer is SCARED of Tim Lockwood?
Hood: Absolutely…he’s just standing there, petrified!
Smith: That’s because he’s a professional…he knows any action at this point would not only be energy wasted BUT…it would put his partner, Mario in a compromised position
~Tim throws his hands at Paras with indignation. He turns around, toward Mario. Mario is on all fours, struggling. Tim grabs Mario by the hair on the back of his head and pulls him up. Mario surprises Tim by hoisting him in the air, spinning around and dropping him with an Alabama Slam!!! The ring shakes with impact!! Tim holds the back of his head in pain while Mario remains on the mat. The fans stomp their feet and chant “PM!” Paras extends his hand, begging for a tag~
Smith: Alabama Slam…that will rattle Tim’s brain!
Hood: Will it?
Smith: It will, at the very least, disorient him
Hood: So it’ll take the Asian right out of him
Smith: No…that’s not what that word means, Hood
Hood: Okay, good…I was about to say…I don’t see a lick of Oriental ancestry in the Lockwoods!
Smith: Obviously
Hood: Not to mention the fact Paul lives in Hawaii…he probably hates Orientals…at least the ones from Japan
Smith: Stop talking
~Mario lifts up on his elbows and rotates, turning toward Paras. Slowly, he begins to drag his heavy, beaten body across the mat. Jack stomps his foot, trying to gain Tim’s attention. Tim’s eyes open, he spots Jack. Jack points across the ring at Mario who is inching closer to making a match altering tag. Tim sits up, holding the back of his head. He spots Mario and moves with more urgency~
Smith: He’d better get to Paras…if Mario makes that tag this match will drastically change
Hood: Almost like hitting the reset button
Smith: Even worse…a fresh Paras against a slightly fatigued Tim Lockwood is NOT a level playing field
Hood: True, true
~Mario is within a few feet of reaching Paul’s outstretched hand. Tim gets to his feet and he hurries forward. Mario reaches out, about to tag Paul. The crowd rises with excitement. Tim flies into view with a double axhandle into the back of Mario’s head!! Maurako flattens out onto the mat, failing to make the tag. The crowd boos! Tim remains seated in PM’s corner, staring at the buckles, laughing~
Smith: No!! He was so close!
Hood: This isn’t horseshoes, hand grenades or participation trophies…this is OCW….fuck close
Smith: I guess we can scratch off that Monthly Participation Award we were thinking about handing out to everyone who DIDN’T win a monthly award
Hood: Get that award the FUCK outta here
~He smacks Paul’s hand away while returning to his feet. Paras starts to get angry, but quickly catches himself – calming down. Tim stands up and urges Paul to do something about it. Paul remains calm. He focuses his energy on Maurako, encouraging Mario to get up. Tim kicks Mario in the back of the head…more an act of petulance than violence. He grabs Mario by the hair, yanking him to his feet. He drags him closer to the Lockwood corner. He slaps Mario in the face a few times…he backhands Mario. He steps back and shows his elbow. He spins around, going for a ROARING ELBOW…Maurako catches Tim’s arm, spins him around, grabs his other arm, hooks him in a full nelson lifts him up and plants him into the mat with Super Mario!!! The arena goes wild!! Paras extends his hand, cheering his partner on. The crowd claps, stomps and chants ‘PM!’ Jack yells at Tim to get up. Tim is out. Mario is flatted on the mat, on his front, looking over at Paul~
Smith: C’mon, Mario! Make that tag!
Hood: You are the worst play by play man ever
Smith: Somebody has to balance out your horrid taste in character
Hood: I think it would be GREAT for The Lockwood Party to win these titles…for all we know, PM could hold onto the fucking things forever
Smith: If that’s what’s meant to be…then that’s how it will play out
Hood: BORING
~Mario begins the crawl across the ring. It’s slow…laborious…frustrating. The fans yell for him to hurry up. Paul tries to speed Mario up with words of encouragement. Mario is halfway there. Tim finally sits up, still dazed~
Smith: An Alabama Slam is tough…but Super Mario has finished many former OCW stars off…it’s a true finishing maneuver
Hood: Well Tim must be a badass because he’s sitting up
Smith: I’ve never once questioned the Lockwood’s toughness
Hood: Now all Tim has to do is tag Jack and Mario is fucked
Smith: That would be hard to overcome
~Tim reaches up, over his head. Jack SLAPS his hand! The crowd boos. Jack flies through the ropes. Mario nears Paras who yells at Mario to hurry up. Jack leaps through the air with an elbow directed at Maurako’s upper back. Mario jumps forward, as though he’s able to sense Jack’s movements…he MAKES THE TAG! The crowd goes wild! The second after he makes the tag, he receives an elbow into the lower back~
Smith: A tag is made! Paul is the legal man!
Hood: Ah man…shit’s about to go down
Smith: Indeed!
~Paul flies through the ropes. Jack gets to his feet…he tries to react to Paul’s presence but is unable to muster anything in time. Paul hits him with some vicious right hands. Jack stumbles into the ropes. Paul knees Jack in the midsection and shoots him off the ropes. Jack sprints across the ring, hitting the opposite ropes and bouncing back. Paul sprints at him. The second Jack bounces off the ropes he’s met with a knee to the face! A loud CRACK is heard from impact! Jack’s head snaps back…his upper body goes over the top rope and crashes outside!! The crowd is on their feet, losing their fucking minds…”PARAS! PARAS!” is the overwhelming chant~
Smith: What a flurry of offense! Paul Paras might have Jack primed for a pin
Hood: Just has to get his tattooed ass back inside the ring
Smith: Yep, pin falls can ONLY take place in the squared circle
Hood: More rules designed to help the elderly!
~Paul heads for the ropes. He’s stepping through when two, joined fists smash him in the back. The crowd boos. They belong to Tim Lockwood. He’s injured…weakened, but still as belligerent as ever. Paul stumbles in the ropes. Tim pulls him back into the ring…he hits him with an uppercut into the midsection. Scruff tries to get Tim to exit the ring, but he continues assaulting Paras~
Smith: That’s not going to do any good, Scruff
Hood: Makes you wonder why anyone would wrestle by the rules against these guys
Smith: Because, Hood…to some people winning the right way is important
Hood: Winning should be important…forget how
~Tim shoots Paras off the ropes…Paras reverses….he scoops Tim up and drops him into the center of the ring with an Anderson Spinebuster!! The arena trembles via the crowd’s ovation! The ring shakes! Paras pops back to his feet, energized by the reaction~
Smith: RPW Spinebuster!
Hood: RPW?
Smith: Long story from many years ago
Hood: Good, spare me the details!
~Paras heads toward Mario. On the outside, Jack Lockwood is back on his feet. He locates a chair and hurries toward PM’s corner. Mario is on his feet, about as recovered as he’s going to get at this juncture. Paul looks for the tag. Jack takes Mario’s legs out with a chair shot! Mario hits the apron and falls to the floor. Paul looks over the top rope…a moment of miscalculation and he gets hit in the head with the chair! The crowd boos! Scruff…upon hearing two chair shots, rushes over…Jack drops the chair and holds his hands up…an act of innocence. Scruff can’t call for something he didn’t see~
Smith: They are trying to steal these belts!
Hood: Smart move…you have to give it to the Lockwoods…they are survivors!
Smith: I beg your pardon…MARIO is a Suvivor…he might be a SOLE SURVIVOR
Hood: HEY! No spoilers!
Smith: I haven’t got any!
~Jack hops onto the apron and resuscitates his brother. Tim gets to his feet…he’s dazed ,but functional. Jack grabs Paul and shoves him at Tim. They get into position for a big move~
Smith: Farewell Lola Blue!
Hood: Huh? What? WHO?
Smith: The Lockwood Party’s finisher!
Hood: That didn’t look very devastating to me…all Jack did was push Paras at Tim
Smith: Not THAT…the move they are setting up
Hood: Oh, okay…I was about to say…WEAK ASS FINISHER
~Tim whips Paul into the ropes. They are setting up for a 3D! Paras bounces off the ropes…Tim hoists him up for a flapjack…Paul leap frogs over Tim…he spins Tim around and hoists him into the air! Paul falls back with Tim in the flapjack position…Jack, who’s had his back turned the entire time, feels the momentum and leaps into the air for a 3D (Farewell Lola Blue)!! The crowd goes wild! Jack sits up, confused. He turns and spots Tim face down on the mat with Paras standing over him~
Smith: He just knocked out his own brother!
Hood: Son of a bitch!
Smith: Not only is Paras a great athlete…but mentally he might be unmatched
Hood: I keep forgetting how good this fucking guy is…was…is…whatever!
~Jack backs away, trapped. Paras stalks him…they reach PM’s corner. Paras extends his hand and tags Mario! Jack turns around, facing Mario…again, he tries to weasel his way out of the predicament…but, the situation only seems to be getting worse. Mario steps through the ropes…Jack backs up, into Paras. Paras shoves Jack forward…Mario drills Jack with a clothesline from hell while Paras is taking his legs out with a spinning legsweep!! Jack’s head CRASHES into the mat. His body is wrecked…it goes limp. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: Double entendre!
Hood: Or, as I like to call it – PM. Smash.
Smith: Jack is smashed, that’s for sure!
~Paras kicks Tim out of the ring while Mario goes for the pin. Scruff slides in to make the count…the crowd counts along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…AND STILL OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…PERFECTLY MARVELOUS!!!!!
~Scruff retrieves the belts, handing them to Paras and Maurako. Jack rolls out of the ring where his brother collects him. The fans are overjoyed! They chant “PM!” over and over~
Smith: They appear to be as good as ever
Hood: Yea…but they are wiping out the tag division…I mean, who’s next?
Smith: That’s an excellent question…we saw Curt Canon and CJ O’Donnell impress earlier this evening…it could be them
Hood: Yea…that’s true…CJ never did lose those tag belts…not in the ring, at least
~The crowd suddenly reactions. Bob Grenier is heading down the ramp with a chair! They boo! Jack and Tim grab chairs. The Mutiny surrounds the ring…aside from the back part. They all slide into the ring, closing in on PM with their chairs. Maurako and Paras don’t appear ready to back down~
Smith: Or…maybe the Lockwoods beat a rematch out of the champs…
Hood: Hey…you do what you gotta do
Smith: Interesting to see Bob Grenier down there…we’ve got two former OCW Champions in the ring…Grenier and Paras…who would have ever thought!
Hood: I’m fucking stoked!
~The Lockwoods rush Maurako…he tries fighting them off with his belt, but they subdue him with chair shots. Grenier swings a chair shot at Paras. Paras ducks. Paras tries hitting Grenier with the belt, but Grenier blocks it. The two men are face to face…the crowd is on their feet, losing their minds~
Smith: Paul Paras and Bob Grenier are going to go at it…right here, tonight!
Hood: A dream match, Smith!
Smith: Indeed!
~The Lockwoods nail Paras in the back! The blow ruins any Grenier/Paras showdown. The crowd expresses their displeasure. Paras falls to his knees. Maurako is on all fours. The Mutiny is standing tall…Grenier barks some orders~
Smith: Bob wants to set an example, tonight
Hood: Hell of an example….Maurako and Paras are two of the greatest wrestlers in company history
~The Lockwoods grab Paras, holding him back. Grenier prepares to swing his chair. The crowd suddenly erupts as two people leap over the barricade~
Smith: What’s this?!
Hood: Who the hell are those guys?
Smith: Wait a minute…I know who they are!
~The arena goes wild when they recognize DANGEROUS DAN AND CRAZY CHRIS! Dan and Chris slide into the ring…they double dropkick the Lockwoods from behind! Jack and Tim hit the mat and roll out of the ring. Chris grabs a chair…he tosses it to Dan…he then grabs the second for himself. They rush at Grenier…Grenier weighs his options and drops to the mat, rolling out of the ring. He is met by the Lockwoods on the outside…the trio back away, unfulfilled. The crowd breaks into a “DANGER BOIZ” chant~
Smith: The Danger Boiz!!
Hood: Holy shit! Who knew they were Perfectly Marvelous fans?!
Smith: I think it’s more about doing what’s right, Hood
Hood: I guess…when did they re-sign?
Smith: You’re asking the wrong guy…above my paygrade!
~Dan and Chris remain by the ropes, glaring out at the Mutiny. Grenier throws his hands, arrogantly at the Danger Boiz….the trio exits, through the ropes. Dan and Chris turn around…as they do…they come face to face with Paras and Maurako!! The crowd erupts with approval. A huge ‘YES!’ chant dominates the atmosphere. Mario and Paras have their belts, ready to strike…Dan and Chris have their chairs, ready to strike~
Smith: Are we going to get a brawl…right here, tonight?
Hood: We might…The Danger Boiz have never held the OCW Tag Titles…despite several opportunities
Smith: Indeed…it’s one accolade they desperately seek to attain
Hood: I hate to say it…but they are one of the greatest tag teams in professional wrestling
~It becomes evident that neither team wants to strike. Dan puts his chair down…Chris follows suit. Dan points at those tag titles…he motions around his waist. Paras looks at Maurako. Mario raises his title high signaling that if Dan wants them…he’s got to win them. Dan nods~
Smith: What a moment! I think we’re going to get a Danger Boiz title shot…don’t you?
Hood: I mean…I’d think so…why else would they return?
Smith: Because they love OCW and would like to entertain the fans
Hood: Nah…it’s for the gold, Smith. It’s always for the gold!
~Our show comes to a close with the stare down between Dan, Chris, Paras, and Maurako. A graphic shows up at the bottom of the screen showing all the television legal bullshit. We then fade to black with a ravenous crowd echoing in the back ground~