LIVE! Monday, July 3rd 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE
Hood: Yikes…somebody’s fired up
Smith: It’s the beginning of a NEW ERA in OCW…the Margarita Mix kicks off and I for one am excited
Hood: How can a person who has never tried a margarita be THAT excited for the Margarita Mix
Smith: Because I am a gigantic wrestling fan
Hood: It’s a miracle a woman allowed you to penetrate her
Smith: Hey, don’t get sassy with me. It’s not my fault you’re all sunburnt
Hood: Fucking July…hot as a mother fucker out there. Would you believe I got this way from filling up my car?
Smith: No
Hood: So you’re not as dumb as you look
Smith: Apparently not
Hood: Alright…well, hey, check this out…I got a glimpse into the future
Smith: This should be fun
Hood: No, seriously. I received a futuristic photo displaying the two divisional winners of the Margarita Mix
Smith: Really?
Hood: Mhm…this was taken immediately after they had both completed the 13 match ‘season’
Smith: Let’s have a look!
Smith: Oh come on…that’s ridiculous!
Hood: Now that’s clearly Vargas on the right…you can tell because his mouth is open…dude’s always talking shit, ya know?
Smith: No, I don’t know
Hood: And the person on the left…I believe that is…Mark Storm. Notice how he’s all chilling…not really moving or doing anything. Definitely Mark Storm.
Smith: Fans…don’t listen to Hood…he must be delirious from third degree sun burns. While the Mix will most definitely tire the participants out…I’m sure they will be alive when it’s all said and done. Regardless…let’s get to the matches tonight
Hood: I just hope they didn’t sign any fucking waiver beforehand excusing OCW of responsibility over any in ring deaths.
Smith: Everything will be fine, trust me. Anyway…we’ve got several big matches tonight…Mike Zybala takes on Assassin
Hood: Another Zybala show case!
Smith: Liam Zua and Ed Houston do battle in a match that both competitors need to win
Hood: Cool
Smith: We have TAG TEAM ACTION tonight
Hood: What?! That division still exists?!
Smith: Indeed it does! The Lockwood Party will take on the team of Nara Toshiro and Norman Stills
Hood: Sweet!
Smith: Then the Mix begins…four matches tonight. Which means four competitors will get off to a fast start
Hood: Yea and four others will be fucking struggling after ONE WEEK
Smith: It’s a long process…one week won’t win or lose it for you. And then…in the main event…Curt Canon takes on Bradley Carrington…the winner will get Iggy Hardy in two weeks for the OCW Savage Championship
Hood: Now I can di…errr…hell yea!
Smith: Nice audible…well folks…I’d say it’s time we got right to the action…up first will be Liam Lee Zua taking on Ed Houston…let’s head down to ringside!
Liam Lee Zua (2-0) vs. Ed Houston (2-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~The OCWTron counts down from 10 to 1 when it hits 1 an audible Blast Off is heard as pyrotechnics go off. Ed Houston runs to the ring as Rocket Man plays. He runs all the way to the ring and slides under before waving to the fans~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 180lbs…Ed Houston!!!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
~”Back from the Dead” by Skillet starts playing through the speakers as the lights dim down and a dark green spot light shines on the entrance. Liam walks out with the hood of his jacket up and as the lyrics for the song start he turns his back to the crowd and raises his left fist in the air throwing up devil horns just as the first verse of the song starts~
Cold and black inside this coffin
~He spins around a wicked smile on his face as he walks down to the ring focused like a laser~
Belvedere: And his opponent, weighing in at a 160 pounds, hailing from Miami, Florida…The man known as Death from Above Liam Zua!!!
~There is a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd as Liam slides under the bottom rope and throwing back his hood he climbs the turnbuckle and raises his left fist in the air once more before he backflips into the ring and then removes his jacket while he waits for the match to start. The bell rings~
Smith: Ed Houston lost a tough one last week to Jacqui Monroe…this week he faces the undefeated Liam Lee Zua
Hood: Who has Zua defeated?
Smith: Well, it can be argued that Zua is largely untested. So…you’ve got Ed Houston…heavily tested, newcomer of the month coming off a tough loss versus an undefeated, virtually untested newcomer in Liam Lee Zua
Hood: So Zua could really make a name for himself with a win whereas Ed could bounce back?
Smith: Yea, sure, something like that!
~Zua and Houston measure one another up. They circle the ring, keeping a sharp focus. Zua throws a few kicks at Ed’s legs. Ed effectively dodges each one. Zua switches legs, throwing kicks with his left leg. Ed gets struck in the right thigh. Zua throws another…it hits again. Ed lifts his right leg up, showing some discomfort. Zua starts to throw the left leg again, Ed is prepared…Zua quickly shifts and throws the right leg! It drills Ed in the left thigh. Zua throws another and another…each one connected. Ed staggers back, into the ropes…he leans through the middle and top rope, looking for a reprieve. Scruff steps in, creating some distance~
Smith: Nice striking by Liam Zua…he’s quick and he knows how to compete while standing up
Hood: The fuck is this…kick boxing?
Smith: Nothing wrong with what we’re seeing…Zua is attempting to weaken Ed’s base…the very base Ed relies on for the majority of his moves
Hood: I guess…all these fucking kicks. Reminds me of those weirdos who watch Kung Fu movies
Smith: Not a fan of Kung Fu?
Hood: Fuck. No.
~Ed steps back into the ring…Zua knees him in the gut. Ed doubles over and Zua hooks a front face lock. Ed punches Zua in the kidneys, looking to escape. Zua’s grip weakens…Ed shoots him off, into the ropes. Zua bounces off…Ed throws a roundhouse kick. Zua ducks, slides on one knee, pops back up behind Ed and throws three quick, straight kicks into the back of Ed’s right knee!! Ed falls to one knee, wincing in pain. Zua kicks Ed in the back~
Smith: Great striking and quickness by Zua has earned him the early advantage in this one
Hood: Man…what advantage does Ed have against Zua? I mean, isn’t Ed supposed to be the quick guy?
Smith: Yea…but he’s got a slight size advantage
Hood: I guess…I did see his new logo. That’s a pretty bitching logo. So, I guess there’s that
Smith: Haha…indeed!
~Zua reaches over Ed’s head, from behind and hooks in a Dragon Sleeper!! Ed’s hands reach around, frantically, trying to break free. Zua, on his feet, leans back, yanking on Ed’s neck while also cutting off his air supply. Ed’s legs kick in the air as he tries to find solid footing on the mat. He is able to plant his right foot into the mat and he kicks back…it sends Zua staggering into a corner…Zua, however, holds onto the Dragon Sleeper~
Smith: A very painful submission
Hood: No shit…looks like he could choke the guy out AND break his neck at the same time
Smith: I doubt it’ll go THAT far…but the submission could slow Ed down for the remainder of the contest
Hood: I’m beginning to wonder about this Newcomer of the Month…maybe OCW jumped the gun on Ed Houston
~Zua hops onto the middle rope – Dragon Sleeper still intact. He lifts Ed up off the mat…Ed’s legs dangle in the air. He kicks at the air relentlessly. He reaches up with his hands, trying to rake at Zua’s eyes – anything to get out of his painful position~
Smith: We could get a tap right here!
Hood: Ed is in a shit load of pain
Smith: Indeed!
~Ed, finally, finds some leverage. He kicks his legs up and over…he wraps his feet around Zua’s head. Houston wiggles his head free and he lunges forward, flinging Zua off the middle rope and to the mat with headscissors from the middle rope!!! Zua’s back slams into the mat!! Ed winds up in the corner, seated against the bottom buckle, breathing heavily. His face is red, his neck is irritated…he’s taken his fair share of punishment early on~
Smith: Great counter by Ed…he’s a heck of an athlete
Hood: Yea, I’ll give him that.
Smith: That’s nice of you…to give Ed something
Hood: He better not get used to it. Charity is for WEAK ASS BITCHES.
Smith: I disagree
~Ed rises in the corner, still struggling for air. Zua struggles to his feet…his back to Houston. Ed sprints out of the corner…he leaps through the air and kicks Zua in the back!! Zua shoots forward, his chest slamming into the corner. He stumbles backward…Ed pops to his feet and catches Zua’s back…he tosses Zua over his head with a release Full Nelson Suplex!! Zua tumbles over his head and winds up face down on the mat. The crowd goes wild for the rapidly rising fan favorite Ed Houston~
Smith: Great series by Ed Houston…he went from being choked out to standing at the precipice of victory
Hood: It’s like Apollo 13! You think they are dead and boom…Tom Hanks pops out of the capsule
Smith: I guess
Hood: Hey, it’s all I could come up with. I’m not exactly what you would call an avid follower of NASA or space
~Houston nips up. Zua rolls onto all fours and slowly reaches his feet. Ed springs forward and drills Zua with a superkick!!! Zua falls back, onto the mat. Houston hurries for the nearest corner…the fans rise to their feet with anticipation. Ed reaches the top…he looks down at Zua and leaps off with a Shooting Star Press!! It connects!! The crowd pops! Ed covers both legs as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ED HOUSTON!!!!!
Smith: Wow! Great win by Ed Houston…a much needed victory after last week’s bitter defeat
Hood: He’s gonna be okay, Smith. NASA will survive!
Smith: Well I knew that…his talent is undeniable. It was only a matter of time before he got his groove back
Hood: Are you calling Ed groovy?
Smith: I’m simply stating that a win can sometimes cure all that ails a wrestler’s struggling career. As for Zua…tough loss.
Hood: Yea, he didn’t look like much tonight
Smith: After two strong wins to start off his OCW career this performance was disappointing
Hood: Oh well, we’ll see if he turns it around next week I guess…or not…he’s got a Mohawk so he’ll be fine
Smith: Whatever that means…let’s head backstage before our next match!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
'Cause you all try to keep me down
How it feels to be forgotten
But you'll never forget me now
~ The camera fades backstage and you see Alice Knight sitting up on a crate barrel kicking her legs back and forth as “The Distinguished” Caleb James O’Donnell catches her out of the corner of his eye and smiles. CJ begins to approach Alice who seems to be in her own little world. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Hey Alluring One …”
~ CJ winks at Alice. ~
Alice Knight: CJ!!!
~ Alice jumps off the crate and comes face to face with CJ.. ~
Alice Knight: What! Is! Happening? Okay. I’m not booked for a match. I haven’t done anything in like two weeks. I did this weird Treat Cassidy show? I know right? No idea what’s going on. To be honest? Been drinking a lot of peach schnapps for the last hour. But… it’s super rad to see you. How are you?
~ CJ cringes at the name of Cassidy as he is not a fan of either of his clients. CJ quickly shakes it off and smiles at Alice as she seems super hyper and happy. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “I am doing well. No longer am I carrying those dead weights in TIO, Meyhu or Carrington. I feel a lot lighter. My concern is you. How is the head? I was watching very closely that Bird Cage Match against Bob. I had the prisoners ready to riot if anything serious happened to you.”
Alice Knight: I bet you would! But they’d probably do something crazy like murder, rape and tear off my head all at the same time. I’ve seen a few prisoner movies. Too many to be honest. But seriously. My head is a little woozy. But I did beat Mr. Canadian Slob Bob Grenier. I still need to get a second opinion. But honestly. It’s way too much money and I think I can still go at it, so don’t be concerned. Really. It’s all good.
~ Alice take another slug of peach schnapps in disguise as a Gatorade bottle. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Alice … don’t you remember what I said to you, Alice? I told you I got the expenses for your well being. Your health matters to me as we are friends with benefits as you say right?”
~ CJ winks at Knight again as he leans up against the wall. ~
Alice Knight: I know… I know. Money isn’t a problem for you. And I adore that you’re willing to help me out in that situation. But doctors? Over-Rated! I just need to go at it my own way. And yeah. I can tell you hate that label. “Friends-With-Benefits”. But after the infamous picnic, it felt like we were moving WAY too fast, ya know? I’m not really the paranoid kind of girl… but...
~ Alice leans closer to CJ’s face and looks around from left to right.~
Alice Knight: … but i think everyone’s eyes are on us. Watching. Talking. Snooping. Pooping. Haha. Not pooping. But you know what I mean? Like it feels like we could become a celebrity couple and those never end well. I think Tom Cruise has had like 23 relationships. This...schnapps is really good. You should have some? Yes? No? Maybe?...
~ CJ reaches out for the Gatorade bottle with schnapps in it as Alice hands it to him … ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Like I said before I rather us have great benefits than not talking at all. Maybe I came on too strong but you have to admit you are really stunning and unlike anyone I met before. The only reason people are watching, talking, snooping on us is because they are jealous of us. As far as Mr. Cruise goes last time I checked I am not a big fan of his as I feel he is over-rated and his last few movies have been very predictable. But if you won’t go to a doctor than I’ll have a doctor come to Massacre next week to check you out Alice alright?”
~ CJ is about to take a sip of it but he hands the bottle back to Alice. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “No offense Alice but you enjoy your schnapps as I just want to enjoy your company. Any plans for later tonight?”
~Alice pouts and looks down at the bottle. She shrugs and takes another sip.~
Alice Knight: I don’t love your hate for The Cruise. THE Cruise. But you make an interesting point. As for the doctor… we’ll see. I’m hoping to get back in the ring soon. So if he doesn’t approve me return to the ring I’d be so mad I’d break something. Break what? You never know!?! Now that’s not predictable! As for plans for tonight? None. Just goinna watch Massacre with the rest of these savages and hope there is an after party? Maybe you, me, Vargas, Mack and Treat Cassidy can hit the bars…. OOOOHH! Just kidding. You wanna do something cool?.
~Alice takes another slug of her near empty bottle of Gatorade flavored Peach Schnapps as she staggers around..~
CJ O’Donnell: “Easy there Alice ..”
~ CJ catches Alice who seems to have lost her balance and stands her upright. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “I would never call someone like you Alice predictable as you are definitely one of a kind. Yeah, we can do something cool but how about we get some food in you as you look hungry. Have anything specific you wanna eat?”
~Alice pushes herself into CJ. Maybe a little too close for comfort for anyone.~
Alice Knight: You have a lot of tattoos. You know that, right? I’d like to paint and color them in… with my tongue brush! Just joking,,,? Har har har, Yuk yuk yuk! Eat? I could go for some Italian food. Like, not pizza or noodles. But something...
~ Alice staggers around again looking down the hallway.~
Alice Knight: II… might have drank too much… Gatorade… food… food could help.
~ CJ puts his arm around Alice to keep her upright as they start to walk down the hall. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Tongue brush painting would be interesting but not tonight. How about you and I get some Italian food after Massacre is over as I am sure you will feel better after you get some food in that tummy of yours.”
~ Alice nods and shakes the bottle of schnapps and suddenly throws it hard down the hall.~
Alice Knight: Don’t tell Welsch or Eastern European that I drank this much… then again. This is OCW. Who cares? Let’s sneak out soon and get some grub. .
CJ O’Donnell: “Yeah we can exit through the back door after I dismantle Madyson Carter tonight. And don’t worry your secret is safe with me. Consider me your Knight in Shining Armor!”
~ Alice digs in her pocket. ~
Alice Knight: OH SNAP! That’s a good one… Knight… in shining armor...“
~ Alice writes it down in her joke journal.~
Alice Knight: I do like Madyson… But… I'll be rooting for yee. My kind … um…..
~ Alice looks down at the journal.~
Alice Knight: My Knight in shining armor…. God damn that’s a sexy line. Let’s do it to it. Let’s get this party started!!
CJ O’Donnell: “Yeah give me about five minutes to finish off Madyson and then I am yours for the rest of the evening, Alice…”
~ CJ heads down the hallway as Alice watches him leave, even tilting her head to possibly checking out his ‘buttocks’. Once CJ is out of sight. Alice rushes over to her thrown bottle of schnapps and chugs it down. She tosses the empty bottle aside and walks off screen. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Ugh…I guess sometimes two people are meant for each other
Hood: You better not be talking about the two of us
Smith: I’m talking about Alice and CJ…weren’t you watching?
Hood: Nah…I tuned out when I heard she was drinking Peach Schnapps. Shit is nasty
Smith: I don’t know what she sees in him…but, it’s her life and if he makes her happy then…well go for it Alice!
Hood: Wow, yea…CJ is like your most hated wrestler…and Alice…well we all know your undying passion for that woman so I’d imagine you’re pretty torn
Smith: It is what it is…as long as Alice is healthy and happy then I’m okay with whatever decisions she makes!
Hood: I don’t know how healthy and happy a person downing Peach Schnapps backstage by themselves can be…but, sure.
Smith: Anyway…CJ takes on Madyson Carter later this evening in the opening round of the Margarita Mix…as for Alice…I bet we’ll see her return to action next week
Hood: Really? Stainless Steel Ride wasn’t, like, a one-time thing?
Smith: Nope, she’s back for good!
Hood: Fuck this world
Smith: Let’s head down to ringside as The Lockwood Party takes on Nara Toshiro and Norman Stills!
Tag Team Match
The Lockwood Party (0-0) vs. Nara Toshiro & Norman Stills (0-0)
Belvedere: The following contest is a tag team match schedule for one fall!
~ "Her Ghost in the Fog" by Cradle of Filth begins to play. The fans stand and watch. The unmasked Itsumade, Nara Toshiro makes his way to the ring with Norman Stills close behind. They are focused, keeping an intense gaze on the ring. They reach the ring, ascend the steps and enter~
Belvedere: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 475lbs…the team of Nara Toshiro and Norman Stills!
~The Lockwood Party comes rushing through the crowd. There’s no music. No pomp…nothing but the screams from fans trying to get out of their way. They hop over the barricade and enter the ring, ready for the match~
Belvedere: And their opponents…The Lockwood Party!
~The bell rings~
Smith: With Stainless Steel Ride in the rear view mirror and a new set of champs sitting atop the roster…it’s time to turn the page within the tag division
Hood: The Dravers are out…the Aptitude seems to be gone…so…who’s left?
Smith: Are you seriously asking me that? Did you not just hear Belvedere?
Hood: Oh…gotcha…so the psychos who hang out with Grenier
Smith: And…
Hood: Itsumade’s face…along with some hairy guy…say…is he kin to Bifford?
Smith: I hope not
~Toshiro is starting things off against Tim. Jack stands on the apron, glaring across the ring at Stills. Stills looks grizzly. Tim and Toshiro circle one another before locking up inside the ring. The fans are solidly behind Toshiro. A ‘NARA’ chant tries to take hold…but it dies out. Toshiro applies a side headlock…Tim shoots him into the ropes…Nara bounces off and drops Tim with a shoulder. Nara hops over Tim’s body and hits the ropes…Tim rolls onto his stomach…Nara hops over, hitting the ropes again…Tim pops to his feet and goes for a leap frog…Nara catches Tim! Tim’s eyes widen…he looks around for help…Nara slams Tim into the mat with a Spinebuster…much to the crowd’s delight~
Smith: Nice sequence…Nara caught Tim and made him pay
Hood: Who do you think would win a match between Itsumade’s face and Mark Storm?
Smith: Depends on who’s more motivated
Hood: Let’s say they are their usual, weekly selves
Smith: A cancelled match
~Tim rolls over and tries to crawl for Jack. Nara snares Tim’s leg, keeping him from reaching his brother. He pulls Tim back toward the center of the ring and SLAMS Tim’s knee into the mat! Tim clutches his knee in pain, rolling over…Nara then stomps into Tim’s chest, bringing Tim’s movements to a halt. Tim remains on his back, wincing, holding his chest in pain~
Smith: Tim’s in trouble…one thing we know about Toshiro is that when he’s on his game he’s one of the toughest competitors in OCW history
Hood: He’s won a lot of awards…good old Itsumade has…but he’s also lost a shit load of matches
Smith: Indeed…very hit or miss
Hood: Kind of like Mark Storm…guys joined at the same time in 2014 too…say…you don’t think
Smith: They are NOT the same person
~Nara picks Tim up and knees him into the gut. He hoists Tim into the air and drops him with an efficient Brainbuster. He gets to his feet and heads into his corner, tagging the big man, Norman Stills into the match. Stills snares Tim and lifts him over his shoulder in the powerslam position…he tosses Tim into the air…Nara nails Tim on the way down with a forearm uppercut!! Tim’s body snaps back…he hits the mat hard. Nara exits as Norman goes for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Highly impactful move by Stills and Toshiro!
Hood: Working well as a team…Itsumade’s face and Biff’s brother
Smith: Can you TRY and get their names right? I mean I get struggling with Japanese nomenclature but…seriously…NORMAN…you can’t remember NORMAN
Hood: Sorry but I really hated the movie Psycho
~Stills pummels Tim in the head a few times, keeping him down. He returns to his feet and takes a few steps back. He rushes forward and leaps into the air with a Running Senton! It connects! The impact shoves the wind right out of Tim’s lungs. Norman remains on top of Tim…his shoulders leaning up against Tim’s body…Scruff makes another count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Nope, not quite…Tim Lockwood won’t go down that easy
Hood: These Lockwoods are like Bronchitis…a nagging cough…they are disgusting and won’t go away
Smith: I can see that
Hood: They are like a really itchy STD
Smith: Okay, enough with the metaphors
~Stills returns to his feet and brings Tim along for the ride. He whips Tim into an empty corner. He charges in…he goes for a splash but Tim moves! Stills hits the buckles. He turns around…Tim tries something…we’ll never know what because Stills reacts with a lariat! It turns Tim inside out! Tim slams onto the mat, wincing in pain. Stills falls to his knees, shaking off the inadvertent buckle impact~
Smith: Tim Lockwood had an opening but Stills slammed the door shut
Hood: You think Biff’s brother slams a lot of doors?
Smith: You mean Norman? And I haven’t the faintest idea
Hood: I bet he does…that’s probably his way of conveying emotion
~Tim rolls onto his stomach while Norman continues to rest. He starts to crawl….slowly…toward the outstretched hand of Jack. Norman waits…until Tim is an uncomfortably short distance from making the tag. He steps to his feet and snares both of Tim’s legs, dragging him back into the center of the ring. Tim flips over and tries to kick Norman away. He sits up high enough for Norman to grab him by the hair…Stills, displaying tremendous strength, dead lifts Tim to a vertical base with just a handful of hair. He throws a giant right fist into Tim’s head…Tim falls into a corner, visibly shaken~
Smith: If Tim Lockwood doesn’t make a tag…and soon…The Lockwood Party will lose this match
Hood: Bifford’s strange uncle won’t let that happen
Smith: I think I preferred Bifford’s brother
Hood: You got a problem with strange uncles?
Smith: Doesn’t everybody?
~Stills charges in...Tim gets his feet up at the last second, nearly wiping the beard clean off Norman’s face!! Stills staggers to the side, falling to one knee. Tim uses the top rope for leverage…he drags his body along the side and tags in Jack! The crowd is eager to see Jack compete but refrains from going too BAT SHIT crazy because, well, The Lockwoods are assholes. Jack sprints in and dropkicks Stills in the side of the head! The behemoth falls to his side~
Smith: And now the match has shifted…The Lockwoods are in a great position IF they can keep the big man down
Hood: Bifford’s Wily Grandpa is in pain
Smith: Well that’s a step up from strange uncle
Hood: Why do you bring weird shit like strange uncles up on air?
Smith: You were the…ugh, you know what…never mind
~Jack pops back to his feet and he rushes toward Norman’s corner…he delivers a stiff, unexpected enziguri to the face of Toshiro!! Nara flies off the apron, slamming into the guardrail. He slides to the ground, unconscious. Jack turns back around, focusing on Stills. Norman is back to one knee, trying to regain his footing~
Smith: Toshiro is out…it’s just Norman now…Jack could win it here!
Hood: Bifford’s Alcoholic Great Grandfather Blacksmith Biff is in trouble!
Smith: Wow
Hood: Biff’s family has a unique history
~Jack sprints towards Norman, who is still on one knee…he jumps into the air, wraps both legs around Norman’s head and spikes him…head first into the mat with a hurricanrana!!! Norman remains face first onto the mat. Jack rolls him over…he struggles a bit…but gets the giant, corpulent beast on its back. He makes the cover as Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners….THE LOCKWOOD PARTY!!!!!
Smith: Great win by The Lockwood Party!! That should elevate them right into title consideration
Hood: I’m not sure if that speaks greatly toward the abilities of the Lockwoods or if it craps all over our tag division
Smith: Well…The Lockwoods are no joke. So they could be the next in line to challenge Perfectly Marvelous…however…after last week’s return victory…don’t sleep on 8 Legged Freaks
Hood: Haha…sleep on 8 Legged Freaks? No way, man…they are the most entertaining act in OCW!
Smith: I’m not so sure about that…but what I do know is one of the most entertaining signings in OCW history is scheduled to to compete next...
~………”SO FUCKING SAVAGE!!!” Eddie Van Halen’s fucking heavenly guitar rift RIPS through the OCW Sound system as “Top of the World” plays. The crowd fucking ERUPTS into pandemonium as the SAVIOR, the motherfucker with IRON BALLS, the OCW Savage champion, Iggy “Big Dick” Hardy stands atop the entrance ramp. A chant immediately starts.~
Crowd: IGGY!!! IGGY!!! IGGY!!! IGGY!!! IGGY!!!
~Iggy soaks it all in as he stands there, Savage championship around his waist. He slowly makes his move toward the ring. Down the aisle. He gyrates his hips a little here and there to the sluts who lean out trying to grasp his massive cock. He finally makes his way to the ring. He looks over at the steel steps and laughs. “FUCK THOSE STEPS!”. He walks over to the center of the ring. He looks around at the crowd, and out of nowhere jumps into the air and front flips from the floor OVER the ropes and lands gracefully into the ring.~
Hood: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! DID YOU SEE THAT?! Guy just FRONT flipped into the ring from standing flat footed on the floor, OVER the ropes. Guy is what, 42 years old? 265lbs? He has the grace of a 110lb Chinese ballerina.
Smith: Indeed it is quite amazing! But, why does she have to be Chinese?
Hood: You’d ruin a solid wet dream you know that?
~Once in the ring, Belvedere quickly hands him a microphone. He smiles a toothy smile at the ring announcer, followed by a very sweet “THANK YOU SIR!”. Iggy paces about the ring with the mic in hand.~
Iggy: WHO IS OCW SAVAGE FUCKING CHAMPION?!?!
~As soon as the crowd settled down a little, they pop again even louder. Picking up another audience wide Iggy chant.~
Iggy: I love each and every one of you squirrelly cocksuckers in attendance! The party has been raging since I won this shiny piece of real estate from Rebel at Stainless Steel Ride!
~Iggy pulls the belt from around his waist and strums it like a guitar.~
Iggy: I’ve promised you Iggyites around the globe that I would be a fighting champion. If you will forgive me, once I got back from Louisiana I took a ride back home to North Carolina to rub this sparkling gold right in that cunts face! Ole Ma Hardy nearly shit her britches. After all the poop she talked about her only son left. And look what happens. CLIMBING THE LADDER OF SUCCESS! So I went back, saw ma, fucked a couple of local hoebags and railed about 62 ounces of white dope, I got all that out of my system and I’m ready to get back to work!
~The crowd cheers as Iggy raises the Savage title in the air.~
Iggy: Looks like Bradley Carrington has been given undeserved shot at gold here going up against OCW royalty, Curt Canon, the winner slated to face me for the belt. Canon is beyond deserving of a shot. I’m hoping he comes out on top because as much as I’m gonna kick his ass, I respect the shit out of CC. Carrington on the other hand is a joke. Dude SUCKS but yet management tries too hard to put a title on him. Why? I don’t get it? Bradley Carrington as a whole should be put in a museum somewhere. The museum of BORE.
~Iggy drops to his knees, laughing hysterically at his own dumb ass joke.~
Iggy: Am I right though, or am I right? ASSassIN is more worthy of a title shot than this piss head Carrington. But what do I know? I’m just a coke fueled gremlin with a monstrous cock! I just wanted to come down and party with my people for a minute.
~Iggy raises his hand in the air, as a salute to his peeps across the world.~
Iggy: C’mon back after the show, I’ll be set up outside ROW F. $5 dollars a line, sniff a line with your boy off the Savage championship! Trust me, shit is Rocket Fuel too, I’m giving the crap away for 5$ smacks! Get at me! Oh also I am doing a raffle, women entrants only. I will pull 3 lucky names, each of those 3 can suck me off in my dressing room after the “autograph signing”. And then, the 3 of them can get pile drove in a nasty 4 way I like to call… Bukkake Slims! See you all later!
~The crowd roars. The cameras pan the arena its amazing how many pairs of tits we see, slutty women flashing their HERO. Van Halen’s “Top of the World” hits again as Iggy exits the ring and heads back up the ramp…we cut back to the announce table as Iggy exits the arena~
Smith: Iggy Hardy ladies and gentlemen
Hood: He HATES Carrington
Smith: Yes…he took his previous loss to Carrington so hard that he reportedly attempted to murder someone
Hood: ALLEGEDLY
Smith: Yes, allegedly…reportedly…same thing. Regardless…we could see Iggy/Bradley 2 OR Iggy Hardy against Curt Canon which would be an incredible encounter
Hood: Sweet…so let’s get to it…let’s find out who faces Iggy!
Smith: Slow down Iggy Jr…we have a handful of matches upcoming including Mike Zybala taking on Assassin which is next!
Assassin (3-4) vs. Mike Zybala (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~the arena lights go out for a moment as we hear a girl's voice scream out “I Hate Everybody” as the opening of “Walking on Bodies” echoes over the PA. After a moment we see Assassin come through the curtain to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Assassin stops midway down the ramp as he cracks a smile looking out at the booing crowd. Assassin continues down the ramp as he reaches the bottom looking at the ring for a brief moment as he looks at the crowd once more before climbing onto the apron and through the ropes. Once in the ring Assassin fakes going towards a corner and instead stands in the middle of the ring turning to his side as he points out towards the crowd and laughs~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 280lbs…Assassin!!!
~“Party Hard” by Andrew WK hits…the crowd loses their shit! Mike Zybala emerges from behind the curtain. Zybala enjoys his theme...it’s upbeat…it’s good music to fire up to. He spots Assassin warming up and rushes toward the ring~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Buffalo, New York…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 175lbs… Mike Zybala!!!
~Zybala slides into the ring. The bell sounds~
Smith: Huge opportunity for Assassin…this match…some people are saying…is simply a showcase of Zybala’s talents…IF Assassin can pull off the upset…you’d have to think that would vault him into some type of title consideration
Hood: A lot of ifs in that statement, pal
Smith: I’m just saying…Assassin is a clear underdog…but, hey, this is America…it’s the 4th of July…the land of the underdog…it COULD happen
Hood: This ain’t Hollywood, Smith. This is real life.
~Zybala doesn’t waste any time. He attacks Assassin right away, after the bell sounds. Assassin falls into a corner…his wild, thick, curly hair flailing in every direction. Zybala pummels Assassin with a few right hands. He then delivers a knife edged chop into Assassin’s chest. Directly after the chop he follows through with a stiff right hand…then a chop…then a right hand…then a chop…so on and so forth with the crowd doing some kind of chant following every impact. Finally…Zybala stops…steps back and waits…Assassin stumbles toward him…Zybala BITCH SLAPS Assassin in the face!! Assassin hits the mat, roughly~
Smith: And Mike Zybala just showed why he’s the favorite to win this match
Hood: Assassin’s odds just went up from a million to one to a ZILLION to one
Smith: Are you sure about that?
Hood: Of course…I’m tightly connected with pro wrestling bookies
~Zybala hops over Assassin’s body and takes a seat on the top buckle. He looks down at Assassin, waiting for the big man to rise. The crowd laughs as Zybala checks a fake watch. He looks around as if to say “When is this guy going to get up?” The crowd begins a loud “ZYBALA!” chant~
Smith: Haha…what a character! I’m already a huge fan of Mike Zybala
Hood: He’s mocking Assassin…who would mock an Assassin?
Smith: Mike Zybala?
Hood: A DEAD MAN…that’s who!
~Assassin finally begins to stir. He gets to his knees before reaching a standing position. His back is to Zybala. Zybala stands and measures Assassin up. Assassin turns around and Zybala leaps off…Assassin catches Mike! Zybala struggles while in Assassin’s grasp…he tries to crawl over Assassin’s head….Assassin brings Zybala’s momentum to a halt by driving him into the mat with an Alabama Slam!! The crowd boos~
Smith: Not a very popular move
Hood: I don’t know what they are booing…Zybala was MOCKING Assassin…if anything, he’s the jerk off
Smith: Aren’t you the one always going on about Assassin killing people? Wouldn’t that make HIM the bad guy?
Hood: He’s a good Assassin…he only takes out politicians
Smith: EASY Hood
~Assassin drops a couple of elbows across Zybala’s chest. He then places a boot into Zybala’s stomach and arrogantly steps onto Zybala…he remains…two feet planted into Zybala’s chest for a few moments before stepping off. Zybala rolls onto his front, holding his gut in pain~
Smith: Assassin has a clear size advantage…possibly the only advantage he holds in this match
Hood: One of the bigger guys on the roster…but, in OCW, that doesn’t necessarily translate into success
Smith: Tiger Sid was huge
Hood: Tiger Sid was also handicapped…in the head
~Assassin hooks Zybala around the waist…he lifts Zybala off the mat in a dead lift…hoists him into the air and over his head with a bridging German Suplex!! Scruff slides in for the count as the crowd is on their feet, prepared to be stunned~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Assassin nearly pinned Mike Zybala!
Hood: So much for this being a squash match
Smith: I understand Zybala might have a bit of ring rust…he’s been out of action for a while…last week notwithstanding
Hood: Ring rust my ass…if he loses in his second match after all that hype…that’s going to cripple his momentum.
~Assassin is back to his feet. He yanks Zybala up and whips him into the ropes. Zybala bounces off…Assassin throws a lariat…Zybala ducks and hits the ropes again…Assassin twists around quickly with a spinning heel kick right into Zybala’s face!!! Zybala slams into the mat with tremendous force. The fans begin to boo not liking where this match is headed~
Smith: Mike Zybala is in trouble
Hood: Hey…maybe the narrative shouldn’t be all about Zybala. MAYBE we should start talking about the rise of Assassin…
Smith: You might be right…every now and again it just ‘clicks’ for certain wrestlers. Tonight could be the night Assassin turns the corner in OCW
Hood: Fuck yea it could
~Assassin yanks Zybala off the mat once more. Zybala throws a punch at Assassin’s head…Assassin blocks it and knees Zybala in the gut. Zybala doubles over…Assassin hooks him around the waist…he hoists Zybala up and plants him into the mat with a Powerbomb!! The crowd continues to boo…Assassin almost seems energized by the HEAT. He motions that this match is over by slitting his throat with his thumb~
Smith: No way…this match can’t be over
Hood: If he wins it here...demolition…devastation…insert another d word for catastrophe!
Smith: Lexicon ran short on ya, huh?
Hood: We can’t all be a wordSMITH
~Assassin yanks Zybala up and hooks him for a suplex. He lifts Zybala up, vertical to the ground and drops him on his head with a Brainbuster~
Smith: That’s the set up for Assassination!
Hood: He’s going to assassinate the push of Mike Zybala
~Assassin picks Zybala up and spins him around…Zybala’s back is facing Assassin. He hoists Zybala up, onto his shoulders. He grabs Zybala’s head and bends it toward the mat…Zybala starts to fight free. The fans are going crazy cheering for Zybala to avoid the Assassination. Zybala throws a couple of vicious downward elbow strikes into Assassin’s forehead. He staggers side to side…Zybala hooks his legs around Assassin’s head and pulls backward…he flips Assassin over, onto his head with a Reverse Frankensteiner!! Assassin’s head SPIKES onto the mat as the rest of his body goes quiet. The fans are frenzied with the arena consumed by “ZYBALA!” chants~
Smith: What a move by Mike Zybala!
Hood: He just turned this match on its head
Smith: LITERALLY
Hood: I know, that’s why I said that
~Zybala gets to his feet…he’s fighting through the pain, feeding off the crowd. He sprints for the ropes…he jumps onto the middle rope and springboards off with a moonsault! It connects!! He covers Assassin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Assassin kicked out!
Hood: Time to step up your game, Zybala. Assassin is not playing the role of bitch…at least not this Monday
Smith: Assassin came here to fight
Hood: This could RUIN projected merchandise sales for the month of July
~Zybala is back to his feet…Assassin sits up. Zybala stands…poised to attack. Assassin reaches his feet…Zybala lunges forward with a SUPERKICK…Assassin ducks!! Zybala shoots past Assassin but is able to call a quick audible…he grabs Assassin’s head while on the way by and drops him with a neckbreaker!! The crowd goes wild as Zybala sits up with a smile as if to say “No problem”~
Smith: A great move by Mike Zybala…but I can’t help but feel he’s in trouble
Hood: What do you mean? Assassin is down…this match is close to being over
Smith: It SEEMS that way…but something about the way this is going…I get the sense Assassin is poised for a big win
Hood: OCW management and the greatest announcer in announcing history – that’s me, by the way – all hope you are wrong
~Assassin sits up…Zybala gets to his feet, maintaining a positional advantage. Assassin reaches his feet and leans in the nearest corner, reeling. Zybala charges in…lunging forward with a running knee. Assassin catches Zybala in the air! He hoists him up and POWERBOMS Zybala into the mat!! Assassin holds onto both knees and leans forward, pining Zybala’s knees behind his ears…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Smith: Mike Zybala nearly lost…I told you…I told you this didn’t feel right
Hood: Fucking hell…you weren’t kidding. I usually give credit where it’s due
Smith: Thanks, Hood…
Hood: But tonight I’ll refrain from doing so
Smith: Jerk
~Assassin returns to his feet…again he falters into the corner, still recovering from Zybala’s offensive outburst. Zybala shakes his head, stunned by Assassin’s powerbomb. He gets to all fours and rises…he turns around…Assassin charges full speed ahead and nearly takes Zybala’s head off with a big boot!! Zybala’s body turns inside out before he lands on his back. Assassin stands over the world famous competitor…he’s in total control. The crowd boos…they yell mean things at the menacing figure…but it fails to impact his demeanor~
Smith: Assassin has total control…he’s bigger…it can be argued he’s stronger and, well, now he’s got Zybala on the ground…this…this is not good…if you’re a Zybala fan
Hood: Meaning…EVERYONE
Smith: I’m sure Assassin has a few fans out there
Hood: No way…I read TMZ caught his mom at a Zybala signing earlier in the week
Smith: That’s awful
Hood: I know…she tried to haggle a discount due to the fact her son is an employee. What a joke!
~Assassin snares Zybala by the head and pulls him to his feet. He lifts Zybala onto his shoulders in the Electric Chair position. The fans become irate…they scream for Zybala to break free. Zybala appears out. Assassin pulls Zybala’s head down~
Smith: Assassination…if he hits this…
Hood: Fuck me….NOT LITERALLY
~Assassin delivers the Assassination (One Winged Angel)!!! Zybala’s body goes limp. The fans groan with frustration. Assassin makes the cover. Scruff comes in and administers the count~
1!
2!
3…NO!
Smith: What?!
Hood: The fucker kicked out!
Smith: That’s the first time anybody has kicked out of Assassination
Hood: Mike Zybala…a trendsetter in OCW!
~Assassin gets to his feet. He’s incredulous…he belabors the point to Scruff citing that he had the match won. Scruff holds up two fingers. Assassin holds up three. He’s growing defensive…his words are heating up. Scruff does his best ‘don’t kill’ me posture~
Smith: Assassin clearly thinks he’s won this match
Hood: He’s fucking done enough…against most opponents, anyway
Smith: Mike Zybala is not most opponents
Hood: I guess not…fucking Assassin had better refocus or he’s going to have more than a two count to be upset about
Smith: He just felt he had the win…he’s still got complete control
Hood: True true…it’s sort of like how a pitcher throws a strike three but the dumbass ump calls a ball. Sure…you could strike him out on the next pitch…but the fucker could also hit one out of the park. The quicker you kill your opponent the better.
~Assassin appears ready to punch Scruff in the face. The thought of being DQ’d hits him. He backs away. Zybala is on all fours…he crawls up behind Assassin and trips him…as he’s backing up. He then rolls Assassin up as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The crowd explodes with cheers as the bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MIKE ZYBALA!!!!!
Smith: Zybala out of nowhere!
Hood: Oh man Assassin is gonna be PISSED
Smith: He stole this one…Assassin did most of the work…he did everything he felt he needed to win
Hood: Yea, well it’s all about who gets their arm raised
~Zybala gets to his feet and looks down at Assassin. He shakes his head and says loud enough for everyone to hear, “WEAK ASS BOOKING!” He heads for the ropes…the fans chant “ZYBALA!” He stops, taking in some of the attention~
Smith: Zybala letting the OCW fans know what he thinks about his opponent tonight
Hood: That’s going to piss Assassin off
Smith: Indeed…especially considering the effort Assassin put into this match
Hood: Oh well…to the victor go the spoils
Smith: Yep…wait a minute…uh oh
Hood: What? Ah shit…I see…Assassin is about to let his frustrations be known!
~Assassin pops back to his feet. He doesn’t take the time or energy to yell at Scruff…instead, he focuses on Zybala. Zybala is standing near the ropes, stalling, taking in the cheers. Assassin kicks him in the back of the head! He lifts him onto his shoulders and drops Zybala fluidly and painfully into the mat with a second Assassination. He covers Zybala and hits the mat with his hand three times. Scruff exits the ring~
Smith: We get it…sadly…that pin will not count
Hood: Scruff might be getting smarter…guy just left the ring before getting murdered
Smith: Say what you want about Scruff…but he knows how to survive
Hood: True…homeless people are good at that…the living ones, at least
~Assassin stands and looks around…there’s nobody left to hurt. So he stomps on Zybala a few more times before exiting an arena that is filling up with boos~
Smith: Horrible loss for Assassin made worse by his antics after the bell
Hood: Well, it’s like you said…he feels like he should have won this…others are going to probably feel the same way
Smith: Indeed…but it’s not how many moves you hit…it’s the quality of the ones you execute
Hood: Quality over Quantity…the age old debate of professional wrestling
Smith: I’m sure we’ll see these two again…a match that close definitely deserves an encore
Hood: ENCORE! ENCORE!
Smith: Well…before the Margarita Mix begins…I’m told we’ve got an update on JACK PUFFER’S INVESTIGATION…let’s head to taped footage
~Center court of Wimbledon is shown. Two arbitrary Tennis Players are competing for the right to get slaughtered by Serena Williams. Seated in the crowd is none other than JACK PUFFER. He’s enjoying a beer along with fish and chips. To his left is some really rich looking Englishman. They appear to be having a conversation~
Rich Guy: So, Puffer, my good man…how has Europe been treating you?
Jack Puffer: It’s been great…I traveled through France and Germany last week…then decided to check out Italy along with Vatican City…with a stop off in Greece…it’s really broadened my horizons. Given me a new perspective on life. If only I could find Marcus Welsh.
Rich Guy: Ah, good man…good man. Anything exciting planned?
Jack Puffer: Rumor has it Welsh was sighted in Spain. So I’m going to head over there later in the week. While I’m in Spain I might as well run with the bulls, you know?
Rich Guy: That is a must…a MUST I tell you!
Jack Puffer: It’s a tough job…but somebody has to do it.
~The crowd rises as a great volley is underway. A point is scored and a strong yet composed ovation sounds. Puffer gives a ‘golf clap’ while ensuring his beer and food do not spill. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: I never thought I’d be envious of Jack Puffer
Hood: Guy is living the life.
Smith: If only Buffet knew about this
Hood: Why is Welsh in Spain...do you think?
Smith: Welsh isn’t in Spain! Welsh isn’t even in EUROPE. That’s the point, Hood. Welsh is probably within a ten mile radius of this building!
Hood: Are you saying Puffer doesn’t know what he’s doing?
Smith: DUH
Hood: Pssh, I don’t believe it. Puffer will find him…you wait and see!
Smith: Well I’m tired of discussing this foolishness…let’s get to the Margarita Mix…
Hood: Whoa…what’s going on?
Smith: It appears we have DIFFERENT LIGHTING for the Mix!
Hood: I need some fucking shades…this is ridiculous
Margarita Mix
Mack O’Connor (13-2) vs. Mark Storm (3-4)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is a MARGARITA MIX bout scheduled for one fall!
~Short Change Hero by The Heavy begins to play through the speakers and the lights in the arena simultaneously dim down. Smoke begins to rise from the top of the stage and appearing on the screen above are the following words~
~A massive pop ensues as emerging from the back is the self-proclaimed "Prince of CHAOS", Mark Storm; who keeps himself composed as he stands at the top of the entrance ramp. He can't help but allow his sadistic signature smirk to appear upon his lips as he closes his eyes and spreads his arms out wide, soaking in the energy that the audience are giving him as they applaud and cheer~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York.. weighing in a two hundred and twenty pounds - Your Hero, and Mine.. MARRKKKK STORMMMMMM
~He begins his walk down the entrance ramp, with a leather coat completing his attire as he comes down the entrance ramp~
This ain't no place for no better man.
This ain't no place for no hero
To call "home."
~At this point, Storm is by the edge of the ring; allowing a smile to embed on his face before he jumps onto the apron and holds onto the ropes, using them to help himself up onto the turnbuckle. He's grinning from ear to ear, soaking in the rest of the cheers coming from the audience, shaking his head sideways as he lowers it, before jumping into the ring. Taking off his leather coat, he hands it to the ring announcer before walking over to his designated corner and hoisting himself up onto the second ropes, a smirk upon his lips as he holds his arms up; his theme song slowly diminishing~
Smith: The long awaited Margarita Mix begins tonight…an interesting first week match up with the talented, yet capricious Mark Storm taking on the June Wrestler of the Month – Mack O’Connor
Hood: He’s so hot right now
Smith: Yes, we get it…the Hansel joke nobody laughs at
~"Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits, Mack O’Connor walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…Mack O’Connor!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: So…which Mark Storm will show up?
Hood: Weather looks fine outside
Smith: Mack is an overwhelming favorite…as he should be…however Mark Storm has the ability to pull the upset
Hood: Fucking clouds can come out of nowhere!
~Mack and Storm lock up quickly, not wasting any time. Storm gains a bit of leverage, he rubs his forward into the side of Mack’s head while bullying him into a corner. Mack responds with a kick into Mark’s knee. Mark stumbles and releases his grip on O’Connor. Mack throws a right hand, it connects! Storm staggers toward the center of the ring…Mack fires out of the corner with lefts and rights, staggering Mark all the way across the ring into the opposite corner~
Smith: Again…this can’t be overstated…you do not want to throw fists with Mack O’Connor
Hood: Not like Storm had a choice…Mack just started punching him!
Smith: I think Storm’s best path toward victory would be good old fashioned mat wrestling
Hood: Yuck
~Mack climbs to the middle rope…looking to continue punching Storm in the head. Storm shrinks and manages to sneak through O’Connor’s legs. Mack hops down and turns around…he receives a roundhouse kick to the side of the head!! He staggers into the ropes, falling through them and landing on the apron. Mack gets to one knee…Storm throws an enziguri at Mack, hitting him in the shoulder! Mack falls off the apron and spills hard on the outside~
Smith: Nice offense by Mark Storm…doing what he can to gain control of this match
Hood: It’s getting dark outside
Smith: Yes, it tends to do that in the late afternoon
Hood: Oh no…unnaturally dark…could it be…Smith…COULD IT BE?
Smith: Stop it, please!
~Mack gets to his feet on the outside…Storm grabs the top rope, looking down at Mack. He leaps over the top rope and plunges to the outside on top of Mack with a Plancha!! The crowd gives Storm a strong ovation. Mack falls back against the barricade, seated upright. Storm pops to his feet and starts to throw kicks into Mack’s chest and abdomen~
Smith: A flurry of kicks by Mark Storm…he seems to have brought his A game tonight!
Hood: Thunder, Smith! We’ve got thunder…the winds are picking up…we might need to take shelter!
Smith: For the last time…we are INDOORS
Hood: Don’t quarantine my creativity!
~Storm drives a knee into O’Connor’s head…the impact subdues Mack considerably. He snares Mack by the head and hurls him back into the ring, under the bottom rope. Mack rolls across the mat, coming to a rest on his back. Storm hops onto the apron…he leaps up, springboards off the top rope and drops a leg across Mack’s chest!! The fans are really behind Storm now…they chant “STORM!” repeatedly. Mark Storm seems appreciative but remains focused on arguably the most talented wrestler in OCW~
Smith: Don’t call me crazy, Hood
Hood: I’ll call you whatever I damn well please, thank you very much
Smith: But Mark Storm COULD win this
Hood: The match?
Smith: The Margarita Mix
Hood: Yea, you’re not crazy…you’re fucking insane!
~Storm has a ton of momentum behind him. He waits for Mack to get to his feet…the June Wrestler of the Month finally stands. Storm throws kicks at Mack’s legs…Mack stumbles back…Storm throws a back elbow into Mack’s jaw. O’Connor backs into a corner. Storm fires up…he goes for a ROARING ELBOW…he follows through but is met with a quick, right jab to the jaw!! Storm’s knees wobble…he legs weaken…he falls to one knee, shaking his head~
Smith: That quick jab from Mack negated all of Storm’s progress
Hood: Clouds are dispersing…it’s looking like another sunny day down here in Key West!
Smith: Not so fast…Mark Storm is one of the most resilient wrestlers I’ve had the pleasure of watching
Hood: True but he’s in there with Mack O’Connor…not Jack O’Cobbler
~Mack stands upright, out of the corner and knees Storm in the face! Mark falls onto his back with a far off look in his eyes. Mack decides to go for a quick cover, thinking he can end this sooner than expected~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Nice to know a jab and kick isn’t enough to keep Mark Storm down
Hood: I’m going to call him Mark Threatening Clouds
Smith: Why?
Hood: Because I haven’t seen a fucking storm in ages. I’m beginning to think his name is false advertising
~Mack seems a bit agitated that Storm kicked out. But, he returns to the task at hand, standing up and grabbing a handful of Storm’s hair. Storm stands facing Mack…Mack measures Storm and throws a right hand…Storm ducks! Mack spins around…Storm lifts him up for an Atomic Drop…while in the air, Mack pokes Storm in the eye! Storm drops him…Mack hits the ground, shoulder to shoulder with Storm…he spins Storm around and hits a Bionic Elbow into the forehead of Mark Strom. Storm sways before falling to both knees~
Smith: This is not looking good for Mark Storm…what started out as a passionate, eager beginning is turning into a dull, uninspired middle with a predictably disappointing end on the horizon.
Hood: Mark One Cloud in the Sky is not looking good
Smith: What is he, Native American?
Hood: I don’t know
~Mack yanks Storm back to his feet…he grabs Storm’s head and drops him with Hollow Point!! Storm crumbles to the mat…the crowd is silenced. Their hopes of a Mark Storm comeback have greatly diminished. Mack stands over Storm, shaking his head~
Smith: Not that Mack is against an easy win here and there…but I think he expected more
Hood: Mark Storm is the only man to defeat Damian K’…so, yea, I think we all expected more
Smith: It’s not over…I want to make that clear…but it isn’t looking good
Hood: Shit’s over, man. Turn out the lights
~Mack yanks Storm back to his feet. Storm tries to fight away, showing some faint signs of life. Mack delivers a vicious head butt…this pretty much ends any hope of a comeback. He hooks both of Storm’s arms…lifts him up and SLAMS him into the mat with Claymore!! The crowd pops for one of OCW’s most famous finishers…Mack makes a nonchalant cover as Scruff administers the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: Dominating win by Mack O’Connor…he has to be the favorite in the LandShark Division
Hood: I’d say so…if I were a betting man I’d wager it’ll be O’Connor and O’Donnell in the finals
Smith: Interesting…a long way to go…injuries could play a big role in who emerges
Hood: Yea, O’Donnell’s knee could be completely shattered by the end of this…guy throws that thing around like crazy!
Smith: It’s a strong move of his, for sure. Mark Storm…well…I just don’t know what to make of his future in the Margarita Mix
Hood: He’s going to have to do better than what we just saw, that’s for damn sure
Smith: Indeed…well folks…while we get ready for the next Margarita Mix match up…let’s head backstage!
~We cut backstage to find The Knife Man re-attaching EE’s office door. He’s using his GIANT KNIFE to screw a few additional bolts in, ensuring that even IGGY HARDY won’t tear it down in the future. Cap Slock enters. The Knife Man turns around, nearly slashing his throat. He extends his hand~
The Knife Man: Ah, the Captain Roderick Slock! How goes it? Were you able to CUT out of Driver’s Ed earlier than expected?
Cap Slock: UNFORTUNATELY NOT. THAT’S OKAY. IT WAS MY FAULT FOR GETTING THE TICKET IN THE FIRST PLACE. NICE TO SEE YOU KNIFE MAN.
~The Knife Man raises his knife high in the air…he turns around and dives back into bolting the door. Cap Slock approaches EE~
Cap Slock: EXCUSE ME, SIR. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.
Eastern European: Captain! What is this word…is the word good? The word is good, yes?
Cap Slock: I’M AFRAID NOT. APPARENTLY JACK PUFFER’S EXPENDITURES HAVE BEEN RED FLAGGED BY SOMEONE IN ACCOUNTING.
Eastern European: Who is this counter? Set fire to them immediately! We must find Welsh!
Cap Slock: UNFORTUNATELY WE DON’T HAVE CONTROL OVER THAT DEPARTMENT. I’VE BEEN TOLD WE NEED TO BRING PUFFER BACK IMMEDIATELY.
Eastern European: This is tragedy of the greeks. But what is done must be done. Call detective Putter on the ASIP. Tell him come home.
Cap Slock: CONSIDER IT DONE, SIR.
~Cap Slock exits the office. Barry Man is Low…standing over EE, shakes his head~
Eastern European: This not good for plan.
Barry Man is Low: Don’t worry, sir. We’ll figure something out.
~We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Thank goodness…I don’t normally feel envy when it comes to other people…but watching Puffer waltz around Europe was filling me with an envious RAGE
Hood: All vacations have to come to an end, Smith. I just hope Puffer gets to run with the bulls.
Smith: Really? You’d be okay with him experiencing that once in a lifetime event without having to pay for it?
Hood: Sure…because he’s Puffer…he’s probably get killed.
Smith: Oh, I see. Well…no comment on that one! But what I can comment on is the fact that the second Margarita Mix match is up next! Let’s head down to ringside!
”The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas (6-4) vs. Levi Russow (3-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is a MARGARITA MIX contest and it is scheduled for one fall!
~ We hear low violins hum and the beat swirling around it as we hear a stern Stan Lee DEMAND...~
~As the music grows a fog wafts through the arena until the violins hit and we see weak blue and white lights in syncopation until two spotlights shine down on two young violinists, one on either side of the entrance as they begin the opening haunt of "Lux Aeterna" composed by Clint Mansell as their violins come to life, at their feet like some great ravenous beast slinks Levi Russow up from the floor. Dark circles under his eyes gave way as he looks up into the ceiling and almost...beautifully waltzes with himself with his actions getting more vivid and more jagged with the growing intensity of the song when there...at the end...he kneels in the middle of the ring, glaring into the camera.~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…Levi Russow!!!
~The opening chords of Lynyrd Skynyd’s “Needle and the Spoon” controls the sound system as a voice over shouts ‘King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” as “The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas emerges onto the ramp, his arms raised in the air. He takes a few steps forward as orange, blue, and white pyros blast from behind him. Vargas turns, eyes wide as he smirks reveling in his entrance. He slowly struts down the aisle, mouthing obscenities to the crowd on his way by as they boo him. Once he reaches the ring, he slowly climbs up the steal steps and into the ring. Going to the furthest turnbuckle, he climbs up to the second rung, raises his arms in the air, still mouthing obscenities as he jumps down onto the mat, getting ready to lay down his opponent with his infamous country fried ass whoopin~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Everclear County, Tennessee…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 235lbs…”The Confederate Icon” Chad Vargas!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Very interesting match…Russow and Chad Vargas. Obviously, the winner will have a nice starting advantage in the Margarita Mix
Hood: Yea, but these two aren’t in the same division, are they?
Smith: They are not…this is a cross divisional match and therefore the only time we will see these two compete throughout the process
Hood: Ah, so this could be a potential preview of the final
Smith: Indeed it could! Glad you’re taking such a strong interest
Hood: I love alcohol
~Russow glares at Vargas. Chad’s injuries from SSR seem to be mostly recovered. He appears to be in solid fighting shape. He catches Russow glaring at him and yells across the ring, “The fuck you looking at, boy?” Russow charges in on Vargas and begins pummeling him with lefts and rights. The crowd explodes, not for Russow but for the impulsive act of violence. Vargas staggers into a corner, not used to someone taking the fight to him~
Smith: And we’re off…Levi was anxious to get started!
Hood: Well, I mean the last time we saw him he was face down in a locker room all busted up
Smith: He has PerZag to thank for that
Hood: Guy’s been thinking about it for two weeks…I’m sure he’s been eager to beat the shit out of somebody…ya know, aside from fans standing in line for an autograph,
~Levi continues to pound on Vargas with right hands into the head and shoulder. Chad does what he can to cover up. Finally, Chad darts forward with his head and hands, shoving Russow off. Russow staggers toward the center of the ring. Chad leans into the corner, shaking his head. His face is red from the abuse. Russow charges in but eats a boot from Chad!! Levi stumbles…Chad hops onto the middle rope and flies off with a double axe handle! Levi falls onto the mat, holding his forehead in pain~
Smith: Nice comeback by Vargas…with all that pent up rage within Levi, if Chad had remained vulnerable for too long he may not have been able to recover
Hood: I’m sure he’s still a little hungover from the two week bender
Smith: How do you know he was on a two week bender?
Hood: Well, for starters, he’s Chad Vargas. But, also, after what he went through with Brooks…no doubt that man would need mass amounts of alcohol to erase the memories
~Vargas steps forward and tries to stomp on Levi’s face…Levi rolls out of the way, Chad’s foot slams into the mat. Russow rolls under the bottom rope, onto the apron. Chad grabs his knee, possibly still tweaked from SSR. He turns, looking for Levi. Russow is standing on the apron, facing the ring…Chad steps forward with a fist, Levi ducks…he grabs Chad by the head and drops off the apron, raking the back of Chad’s neck over the top rope!! Chad falls front first onto his knees, he reaches for the back of his neck~
Smith: Innovative offense
Hood: Dude is doing what he must
Smith: While the back of the neck may seem sturdier, too much pressure in the wrong spot could pose serious consequences
Hood: No shit…just look at Meyhu’s neck from Stainless Steel Ride
Smith: Indeed…it nearly cost him the match
~Levi hops back onto the apron. Chad is on his knees, bent over with his left hand on the mat for support. His right hand rubs the back of his neck. Levi hops up, onto the top rope and springboards off dropping a leg across the back of Chad’s neck!! Vargas rolls around, kicking his legs in pain. Russow pops back to his feet, chasing after Chad…he stomps on the Confederate Icon until his movements start to slow, considerably. Levi then drops a few elbows to keep Vargas still~
Smith: Vicious offense by Levi Russow…he’s created a weakness and is looking to exploit
Hood: Man, what if Chad fucked his neck up in week 1 of this Mix?
Smith: That would not be good
Hood: Not be good? Everclear County would be on suicide watch!
~Levi is back to his feet. He grabs a handful of Chad’s blonde hair…he pulls the former OCW Champion to his feet and delivers a swift kick into the gut. Chad doubles over, Levi hooks Chad’s head under his arm and drops him with a Swinging Neck Breaker! Chad reaches for the back of his neck once again. Levi sits up, looking confident~
Smith: Levi can’t take too long to admire his work…this is, after all, Chad Vargas
Hood: I heard Levi called himself incredible earlier today…so he’s feeling very confident
Smith: What does that have to do with anything?
Hood: We all know Incredible is Chad’s Kryptonite
~Levi returns to his feet and scrambles for the nearest corner. He scales the pads, reaching the summit. He looks down at Chad and leaps off with a Flying Elbow! It connects, right under Chad’s jaw. Vargas’ body spurts and spasms. Levi hooks both legs, making an ambitious cover~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: It won’t be that easy, Levi
Hood: Chad SURVIVED a bed of nails
Smith: He’s as tough as they come
Hood: He may not be INCREDIBLY tough…but, hey, who is?
Smith: I’d keep your voice down
~Levi is thrown onto his back as Vargas kicks out with fury. Levi gets back to his feet…Vargas is on all fours, trying to match his position. Levi throws a kick at Chad’s head…Vargas dodges the kick by leaning back. He winds up on his knees and sweeps Levi’s supporting leg. Levi falls to the mat…Vargas hovers over Russow and wails away with punches into Levi’s head~
Smith: I think that pin attempt woke Chad up!
Hood: No shit…he’s a veteran, probably still loosening up and there Levi is going for a fucking pin
Smith: The quicker you can win these matches the better…it’s a grind
Hood: The Knife Man is going to be busy handing out pills
Smith: Or, you know, offering safety advice
Hood: No, pills
~Vargas switches from punching Levi in the head to bashing the back of Levi’s head into the mat repeatedly. The fans get behind the act because it’s violent. Vargas finally relents and stands…he places his foot into the windpipe of Russow and slowly takes the weight off his other leg…Levi reaches up, grasping at Chad’s foot while kicking wildly. Vargas continues to shift the weight from his free leg onto the leg wedged in Levi’s throat~
Smith: Vargas is attempting to choke Levi Russow out!
Hood: That’s one way to win a match
Smith: An ILLEGAL way
Hood: It’s only illegal if Scruff says it’s illegal and right now…Scruff appears to be preoccupied
Smith: Yes, I think he’s daydreaming again
Hood: Scruff has always been a dreamer
~Vargas finishes his assault on Russow’s throat with an efficient stomp to the windpipe. Russow reaches for his throat, coughing. Vargas doesn’t relax…he snares Russow by the hair and whips him into the buckle. Russow hits hard and continues coughing. Vargas rushes in and drives a shoulder into Russow’s gut. Russow doubles over…Vargas applies a double underhook…he tosses Russow toward the center of the ring with a Double Underhook Suplex~
Smith: Nice offense from Chad Vargas…it’s nice to see him working on areas other than the throat
Hood: Maybe Levi’s breath smells
Smith: I doubt that’s the case
Hood: It could…he looks like a guy that eats weird combinations of food
~Vargas places his foot on Levi’s chest for an arrogant pin attempt. Russow shoves it away before Scruff can even drop to his knees. This pisses Vargas off. He snares Russow by the hair, jerking him upright…he says some not-so-nice things and whips Russow into the ropes. Russow bounces off…Vargas throws a punch at Russow’s head…possibly his throat…Russow ducks! He hits the ropes again…Vargas turns around and Levi jumps over Chad’s head with a Sunset Flip! He hits the mat and pulls Chad over…instead of holding onto the pin Levi pops up and smashes both feet into Chad’s chest with a double foot stomp~
Smith: Great move by Levi Russow! Hhe calls that Koopa Killer!
Hood: Is Chad Vargas BOWSER?
Smith: If forced into being a Mario villain then, yes, he’d probably take Bowser
Hood: Or Wario…I hated Wario. Like, seriously, fucking Wario? WEAK ASS NAMING
Smith: There could be a backstory to Wario’s name
Hood: Fuck if I know…I just remember he started popping up in later versions of Mario Kart. Fuckin Wario
~Levi leans over the top rope, rubbing his irritated throat. Vargas sits up, clutching his chest. Levi looks over his shoulder, keeping an eye on Chad’s positioning. He throws a quick mule kick into the back of Chad’s head! Vargas falls to his side…his mannerisms…motions slow considerably~
Smith: Effective kick by Levi…who has been having some mental issues of late
Hood: I think some of that hair dye has seeped into his brain
Smith: I doubt that…it seems as though this rough stretch he’s endured combined with Emery’s success has ruffled Levi’s composure
Hood: That’s one way of putting it…another way of putting it would be his insane jealousy made him go psycho at a signing on his buddy Sex Ferguson
~Levi walks over and slaps Vargas around a bit. The fans seem uneasy…that’s not the way a person should treat The Confederate Icon…at least not if they wish to hold onto all of their teeth. Vargas stirs…his movements are those of a drunk man being revived to life the next morning by his angry, bitch of a girlfriend. Vargas rolls around…he gets to his feet…Levi bends at the knees, crouching down. Vargas stands and turns, facing Levi. Levi LEAPS into the air with a giant uppercut!! It crushes Vargas in the chin!! Chad shoots back, into a corner! As Levi is flying through the air with the uppercut he yells “SHORYUKEN!”~
Smith: What an uppercut! Levi calls that SHORYUKEN!
Hood: No shit
Smith: I’m just clarifying for the fans
Hood: The only people who’d need clarification would be our deaf fan base and, well, since they can’t see your lips moving…
Smith: We have closed captioning!
Hood: Do we?
Smith: We…well…we should
Hood: I bet we don’t
~Levi returns to sanity and heads for Vargas. Chad is resting in a corner, dazed. Levi pulls Chad out…he hooks his arms around Chad and throws Vargas over his head with a Northern Lights Suplex!! Levi bridges with the pin as Scruff slides in for the count…the crowd counts along~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Kick out by Vargas! After those back to back DEVASTATING moves the Confederate Icon rises up and remains alive
Hood: You just made him sound like a Zombie
Smith: He has better skin than a zombie
Hood: Easy Buffalo Bill
~Russow pops to his feet…the crowd is behind him but he’s not playing toward the attention. He could care less…he’s focused on Vargas. He pulls Chad to his feet and drills him with a Roaring Elbow!!~
Smith: Roaring elbow…that’s the set up for
Hood: BITCHSLAP!!
~Vargas stumbles, teetering on his heels. Russow rolls through looking for the Kesagiri chop from hell…Vargas, however, SPEARS right through Russow before he can finish off the move!! Russow hits the mat, hard! The crowd gives a good ovation for the spear due to how it looked and the timing~
Smith: Spear by Chad Vargas!
Hood: The Confederate Icon may be a lot of things…but he’s no BITCH
Smith: Indeed
Hood: HE AIN’T NO BITCH
Smith: We get it
~Vargas reaches his feet. He backs into a corner, catching a breather. Russow gets up, holding his ribs. He points at Vargas and yells…he sprints forward…he flies through the air with a splash…but Vargas moves!! Russow’s face hits the top buckle…he stumbles backward…right into the waiting arms of Vargas…Chad hooks Russow and drives him, face first into the mat with The Stroke!! He rolls Russow over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…”THE CONFEDERATE ICON” CHAD VARGAS!!!!!
Smith: Chad Vargas with the win…what a turnaround for the former OCW Champion!
Hood: No shit…he beat Brooks in some kind of death match and followed that up with a win in his Margarita Mix debut!
Smith: Indeed…but…as with any match…where there is a winner…there is also a loser
Hood: Fucking Levi is going to take this hard…I hope Sex Ferguson’s family has a nice sized life insurance policy on the guy
Smith: What started out as the dream scenario for Levi in his Process of Elimination debut has slowly dipped into a nightmare.
Hood: Guy is struggling…but this is OCW…it’s tough as fuck to win around here. Just look at Vargas
Smith: Indeed…here’s hoping Russow can turn it around!
Hood: Yes…otherwise…he might start killing people
~We get a s hot of the ring…both Russow and Vargas are cleared. Everything is calm…which is usually the precursor for something wild~
Smith: So…hold on…I’m receiving something via my headset…what’s that…oh REALLY?
Hood: What’s going on? Did Popeye’s just announce they deliver?
Smith: NO! I’m told a former Champion is backstage and…well…he’s about to come out!
Hood: Of the closet?
Smith: NO you idiot…he’s about to make an appearance…
Hood: Shit…that’s way better! Who is it?
Smith: One of the most famous names in OCW history…ladies and gentlemen get ready for an experience unlike any you’ve ever experienced…the wild man…is back.
~The lights in the arena go out. The opening guitar lick to Deftones “Engine No. 9” blasts throughout. The crowd is in complete shock~
Hood: Uh-oh.
~Fire consumes the entire stage. The pyrotechnics amaze the crowd but then the boos set in. Tommy Crimson walks out from behind the curtain. He stops at the top of the stage dead center of the ramp and takes in the amazing negative reception. The boo’s can be heard across town when the “$^@# YOU!” chants begin~
~Crimson licks his chops then puts his dyed red mop back in a pony tail. He slides his leather black trench coat to the side a bit to expose his “Scott Syren” t-shirt~
Smith: Tommy Crimson and OCW are in the same building. This crowd is coming undone at the seams!
Hood: Oh yeah. They remember this asshole for sure.
Crowd: $@%^ YOU! $@%^ YOU!
~Crimson walks down the ramp taunting the crowd further with each step he takes toward the ring. They continue to blast him with pure hatred as he walks up the ring steps then slowly slides in the ring. A little girl with ponytails cheers for him in the front row. He points at her and she can’t believe it. Tommy then flips her off in blurry glory using both hands~
Smith: Tommy Crimson just flipped off a minor!
Hood: Just wait.
~Crimson pulls a microphone from his pocket. He slowly pulls it up to his lips. The crowd continues the verbal assault. Tommy smiles and allows them to have their moment. Finally he speaks into the mic~
Crimson: What a reception! Thank You! I knew you would remember me from old OCW video games or the back of a VHS tape one of you nerds actually kept. My GCWA money is all dried up now and I was rotting in the indies. So I decided it was time to come make some real money again, and that’s why I am here. To make money off idiots like you who get a stiffy for nostalgic moments just like this. I use you all to buy shit I don’t even need.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Crimson: It is true. Most of you will buy the Tommy Crimson Greatest Matches Blu Ray they are selling over there at the concessions. Sheep. I am back to wrestle. Plain and Simple. When I was here before I was young and inexperienced in many ways and still won the United States strap. You all can boo me here in this arena, but you will be jerking it alone at home to my high flying highlights before too long. It’s just a matter of time.
Smith: I don’t know what to say...This man is vile.
~Crimson throws off his trenchcoat off exposing the old and tattered Scott Syren t-shirt. He then slides out the ring and walks toward the announcers. Tommy then hops up on the table suddenly. He begins walking back and forth. The crowd continues to boo~
Crimson: I came here looking for a fight tonight. I also wanted to see MMM or PPP wrestle. Those two will be crippled before too long. I bet they already dope for the pain. You should have saved that High Octane Money. Then I learned Scott Syren is on the injury reserve.
Crowd: SYREN! SYREN!
Crimson: What a joke.
~Tommy rips the shirt off into two pieces. He slings each piece of the shirt off his arms then paces back and forth on the wobbly announce table~
Crimson: I seen him awhile back on tv. He was giving some sort of interview to Bryant Gumble swearing he has never juiced. I believe that about like I believe his old ass has still got it. I may be in matches with other people coming up but I am here to fight you, Syren. I know you aren’t injured and can hear Tommy Crimson’s voice. I am calling you out! I remember AWWL and OCW. I remember all the things you have done to me in the past. It’s time to settle this once and for all. Are you that tough son of a bitch I remember or a pussy that had it once? My bet is on the latter. How about it people? Scott Syren versus Tommy Crimson?
Hood: Woah.
Crowd: YES! YES!
Crimson: Syren is too old and can’t hack the schedule OCW demands. I’m afraid the next time you hear about him it will be some random nerdy asshole reporting about his death on facebook due to a “heart attack”. Scott will die young because he chose to cheat to get ahead. You sheep will shed tears for him when he’s dead but I will not. Syren made his bed and now he can lay in it. He is the real villain in all this. I earn money off pure ability while Syren chose to be the Lance Armstrong of Professional Wrestling.
~Tommy then leans down on the table then gets right in Hood’s face. He holds the mic up and grabs ahold of Hood’s collar pulling him even closer~
Crimson: I want to fight. You tell them, HOOD! I know you got an earpiece to the bigwigs in the back! You tell them I want a match next week! You got it?!?! DO IT!
~Tommy releases his hold on Hood. Hood falls back in his chair as Crimson walks off. He turns and spits back at the commentator who is still shook. Crimson makes his way up the ramp…the fans are giving a strong ovation to the returning wild man, Tommy Crimson. He steps through the curtain, exiting the ringside area. Hood is silenced while Smith attempts to break the ice~
Smith: Well…
Hood: I just got punked by Tommy Crimson
Smith: And…
Hood: It was GREAT! I’ve missed that guy so much!!
Smith: You are an odd man
Hood: Don’t worry, Tommy! We’ll make sure you have a match next week and as far as Syren goes…I am 1000% sure he will hear about your return
Smith: That’s all we need…a Scott Syren/Tommy Crimson feud
Hood: Those two go together like pizza and dinosaurs
Smith: Sure…anyway…Tommy Crimson is back, folks! Say what you want about the man…but he’s got a personality which is what OCW is all about! I’m looking forward to seeing him wrestle next week…in the meantime…we’ve got three matches left to go
Hood: Can we put Tommy in the Margarita Mix?
Smith: NO! It’s too late for that…no offense, Tommy. Up next, however, we will witness CJ O’Donnell take on Madyson Carter…everything is settled down here so let’s get to it!
Margarita Mix
“The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell (14-2) vs. Madyson Carter (2-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following is a MARGARITA MIX match and it is scheduled for one fall!
~”At My Best “ by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Hailee Steinfeld hits. The fans stand and watch as the curious, somewhat anxious Madyson Carter steps out from behind the curtain. She marvels at the electric vibe created by the eclectic OCW audience. She takes in a deep breath and heads down the ramp. She rushes up the ramp and steps through the ropes, ready for her debut~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Miami, Florida…standing five feet tall and weighing in at 105lbs…Madyson Carter!!!
~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The arena is consumed with boos. CJ O’Donnell steps out from behind the curtain and struts, confidently toward the ring. He’s got a smile on his face…his vision is locked on Carter. The outcome of the match doesn’t seem to be in doubt – in his mind. He steps onto the apron and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs… “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Huge test for Madyson Carter…we all saw what a win over CJ did for Jacqui Monroe
Hood: It got her a month’s paid vacation!
Smith: Well, umm, yea, sure…but it also put her in line to earn an Ascension Championship shot!
Hood: Oh yea, that too!
~CJ doesn’t waste any time, he goes right after Carter. She side steps, trying to avoid whatever he has planned. She slides under the bottom rope, escaping the ring. CJ flies through the ropes, going after her. They run around half the ring before Carter slides back in. She sprints across the ring…CJ slides in, under the bottom rope…Carter bounces off the ropes and flies through the air, nailing a dropkick into the side of CJ’s head as he’s trying to get to his feet. CJ falls over, holding the side of his head in pain. The crowd gives Carter a strong ovation of support~
Smith: Crafty maneuvering by Madyson Carter…she’s at a considerable disadvantage, size wise so she’ll need to be creative
Hood: Yea and CJ is mean as hell when he’s the smaller guy
Smith: Which would create a terrifying bully…one would think
Hood: And you know bullies run the show in OCW!
~CJ tries to get back to his feet…Carter quickly hooks his head in a front face lock. She spreads her legs out, widening the base. CJ has trouble pushing her back or getting to his feet. She cranks her arm around his neck, limiting his air supply. He reaches around, trying to find an out. His feet are near the rope…but he reaches for Carter’s hair, instead, yanking back. Carter yells and looks to Scruff…he comes in and counts. CJ releases after the full five count. He grows frustrated at Carter’s ability to use her entire body as leverage to keep him down~
Smith: Great positioning by Madyson Carter
Hood: Boy I’ll say…she’s got that ass positioned nicely
Smith: Oh please…can we focus on the actual match?
Hood: Well, maybe if her shorts weren’t so damn tight AND short…I mean, seriously. How’s a homeless man supposed to judge a restaurant’s décor when there’s a giant fucking steak sitting in front of him?
~CJ uses his left arm and reaches around Madyson’s back…he grabs the arm she has secured around his head (HER left) and locates the wrist…he pulls back! It wrenches her shoulder! Her grip loosens…CJ lets go and wiggles free…he then spins around, taking Carter’s back and yanking her left arm from behind…he pulls up on it, applying incredible pressure on her shoulder join. He places both knees into her back, like he’s on a surfboard. She grimaces, placing her forehead onto the mat, fighting through the pain~
Smith: I can’t stand the man but I have to give it to him…great reversal
Hood: He’s the best we’ve got, Smith!
Smith: Highly debatable…Meyhu, being the OCW Champion, would claim that honor…I’d think, anyway
Hood: Oh just you wait…CJ is going to knee Meyhu in the fucking head so hard and take that belt
Smith: I guess we’ll see
~Madyson, unable to take the pain much longer, raises up, showing tremendous strength in her back and a titillating amount of flexibility. The men at ringside are wowed and begin to sweat. She inches forward before lunging with her free, right hand…it snares the bottom rope!! The crowd goes wild. Scruff orders a break, CJ complies after the full five count~
Smith: Great escape by Madyson…but, how much damage was done?
Hood: Does it matter? It’s her arm, right?
Smith: Yes, a fairly important appendage
Hood: Sure, in most cases…but what the fuck was she gonna do with it in this match? Toss CJ around? Besides, it’s her left arm…is she one of those weirdo lefties?
Smith: I don’t believe so
Hood: So it’s immaterial!
Smith: Perhaps
~CJ grabs Carter by the legs and drags her away from the ropes, back toward the center of the ring. Carter flips onto her back and kicks CJ away. She kips up! CJ lunges forward with a clothesline…Carter does that Matrix thing where she leans back, avoiding impact. She then runs for the ropes, springboards off, rotates in the air and lands on top of CJ with a crossbody!! She remains on top, pummeling CJ in the head with lefts and rights, much to the crowd’s delight~
Smith: Great move! It’s unfortunate how little we actually know about Madyson
Hood: She’s hot…that’s all I know…and she bears a striking resemblance to Ruby Rose
Smith: Indeed…but tonight, we’re receiving a showcase of her abilities. I can definitely see why Marcus Welsh signed her
Hood: Oh yea, I’m sure she’s talented. Maybe not TONY THE SPIDER talented…but who is, ya know?
Smith: Right
~Madyson is back to her feet…CJ reels from the multitude of punches. Carter hurries for the ropes, bouncing off and back toward CJ. CJ sits up…Madyson flies through the air with both knees, drilling them into CJ’s face!! The impact sends the back of CJ’s head slamming into the canvas with Carter’s knees remaining on top of his face and shoulders. Carter holds on for the pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Almost a HUGE upset!
Hood: Man that would have been the equivalent of a bartender SPILLING someone’s margarita
Smith: I don’t think it would have been that bad
Hood: Well, depends on what type of Margarita you ordered. Some are better than others, you know
Smith: I don’t drink
Hood: Oh yea, that’s right, you’re one of those creepy sober people
~Carter pops back to her feet. She hurries for the nearest corner, hopping up onto the middle buckle. CJ slowly returns to his feet. Carter leaps off with a missile drop kick!! CJ’s back splats onto the mat. Carter gets back to her feet and she stomps CJ in the head several times. The crowd is really getting behind her. She turns her back to CJ and leaps through the air with a Standing Moonsault!! It connects!! She hooks CJ’s leg for another pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Great offensive burst by Madyson Carter…she just can’t keep CJ down
Hood: CJ had better wake the fuck up, geez
Smith: I wouldn’t worry about that…CJ O’Donnell is one of the most consistent wrestlers in OCW
~Carter slaps the mat, showing a hint of frustration. He focuses back on CJ, grabbing him by the hair and helping him to his feet. She knees him in the gut a few time…CJ staggers against the ropes. Carter throws a kick, drilling CJ in the face. She jumps into the air, hooking CJ’s head for what appears to be a Tornado DDT or some sort. We’ll never know because CJ blocks it and throws Carter off and into the air…she comes flying down with her upper body landing, roughly across the top rope!! She snaps back, onto the mat, kicking her feet in pain~
Smith: Ouch…I hope she’s okay after that
Hood: That was CJ saying “ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT”
Smith: Legal and effective…so I can’t really say anything
Hood: I see you’re finally coming around on CJ!
Smith: I wouldn’t go that far
~CJ shakes off the punishment. His face goes from stunned to stern to furious. He heads over to Carter…she’s on all fours, with her face close to the mat. He places his foot under her face and guides Carter into a more upright position. He pulls his leg back and thrust forward with a devastating kick right into the face!! Carter falls onto her side~
Smith: Oh come on! There’s no need for that type of violence
Hood: Are you kidding me right now? No need for VIOLENCE in a Wrestling match?
Smith: That TYPE of violence!
Hood: Hey, if she can’t handle it she shouldn’t have signed up
Smith: Have you no heart!
Hood: According to the laws of science and human anatomy it would seem as though, yes, I do have a heart
~CJ taunts the crowd a bit…drawing a bit of their ire. He leans over the top rope, talking crap to a few people in the front row. We can’t hear what’s being said but are pretty sure it’s curse laden and insult driven. CJ accurately judges the reactions of the fans and turns to find a standing Carter…she’s somewhat disheveled and not in any position to strike. CJ arrogantly runs her over with a clothesline! She slams into the mat…the fans continue to boo~
Smith: This disgusting man…he treats this like it’s a personal showcase for CJ O’Donnell
Hood: And that’s a bad thing because…
Smith: He has a blatant disregard for fans….for staff…and, most regrettably, for his fellow competitors
Hood: And he’s the #1 contender according to the OCW rankings…so I’d say the fucker knows what he’s doing
~CJ grabs a handful of her thick blonde hair peeling Carter from the mat. He drives his forearm through her face…she slams into the nearest corner. He lifts a knee into her sternum…she coughs what air she has left out of her lungs. He delivers a short, stiff uppercut that sends her head and neck snapping backward, slamming into the top buckle. The fans chant “ASSHOLE” but CJ doesn’t care. He starts to slap Carter in the face…short, fairly painless slaps…more for humiliation than production~
Smith: It’s just so degrading
Hood: I know…making CJ wrestle a midget
Smith: She’s not a midget!
Hood: She’s barely taller than Checkers!
Smith: Now who’s being dramatic, huh?
~CJ takes several steps back. Madyson’s arms are draped over the top ropes, keeping her from falling to her knees…her head is hanging toward the mat. CJ sprints in for Irish Knowledge! Carter lifts her arms up and drops to her knees!! CJ’s knee SLAMS into the top buckle. Carter pops to her feet…she grabs the back of CJ’s head and drops him with an inverted cutter!!! Both CJ and Carter are on the mat as the fans rise to their feet urging Madyson on~
Smith: I’m not sure if she dodged that on purpose or if her body gave out…but, either way, it worked!
Hood: Well she certainly did that cutter on purpose
Smith: True…so I guess she did dodge Irish Knowledge on purpose
Hood: Problem solving at its finest, Smith!
~CJ sits up, facing the corner. He grabs the middle ropes and pulls to a standing position. Madyson is up next…staggering, still suffering lingering effects. CJ turns around and heads toward Madyson…Carter turns, facing CJ…she jumps into the air and places both knees into CJ’s face…she drops to the mat and hits a Codebreaker!! CJ falters back into the corner. Carter is quick to her feet…she runs in with a spear! She tumbles backwards, returning to her feet and charges back in with a Helluva kick right across CJ’s face!! The Distinguished One falls out of the corner, onto the mat…Madyson rolls him over and goes for a pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: NO! I thought she had it!
Hood: Damn she’s flexible…she got that leg up HIGH
Smith: How are you constantly surprised by the athleticism of our wrestlers?
Hood: CJ’s athleticism never surprises me…I’ve always known him to be a perfect blend of Michael Jordan, Usain Bolt and, umm…Barry Sanders!
Smith: That’s it…you sure?
Hood: Ah, what the heck…let’s throw pre-fuck up Tiger Woods in there
~Undaunted, Carter pops back to her feet and heads into the nearest corner. She starts to climb. CJ…a man who never stays down for long, returns to his feet. Carter reaches the top rope and looks down…she leaps off with a hurricanrana…CJ holds on, keeping Carter from flipping him over. He tries lifting her up for a powerbomb…Carter sits up, on CJ’s shoulders and headbutts him, repeatedly!! CJ staggers back, losing both his grip as well as his balance. Carter climbs over CJ’s head and slides down his back with a version of the sunset flip…she yanks him over. He hits the mat…instead of holding on for the pin, Carter gets to her feet…CJ sits up…Carter runs a knee right through his face! CJ’s back hits the mat…Carter goes for another cover~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Great sequence…CJ almost power bombed her into the mat…a move that would have likely ended her shot at winning this match…but, Carter withstood his attempt and wound up nearly pulling the upset
Hood: I’m going to have a fucking heart attack watching this shit…if CJ loses the first of the Margarita Mix…then we can go ahead and declare this idea a failure
Smith: One loss isn’t going to make or break anyone’s shot at winning this…NOBODY will run through this undefeated
Hood: Are you sure?
Smith: As sure as a normal person could be…how does someone win thirteen matches in fourteen weeks?
Hood: With insane dedication and borderline stupidity
~Carter reaches for CJ’s arms…the crowd rises…they can see she’s trying to lock him in Heaven’s Pain. CJ has this scouted and wiggles for the ropes. He gets under the bottom rope, forcing Carter to release. She gets to her feet…CJ remains on his back atop the apron. He sits up…Carter runs towards the ropes…she bounces off. CJ gets to his feet on the apron…Madyson comes charging forward. She’s about to hit the ropes, knocking CJ off but he leaps over the top rope and flips over Madyson’s incoming body! He lands on his feet and takes off. Carter looks around, confused…she turns to face the direction CJ landed. He hits the ropes, shoots off and flies through the air…he HITS Carter in the face with Irish Knowledge!! She tumbles backwards, folding up…her knees hanging near her ears. CJ straightens her legs out…hooks them both and goes for the pin. The crowd boos as Scruff slides in, making the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner… “THE DISTINGUISHED” CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!
Smith: Ah dang it! I thought Madyson might pull the upset…so disheartening
Hood: My boy comes through again! CJ FUCKING O’DONNELL…he’s gonna win this thing
Smith: He’s certainly one of the favorites…ugh…tough, tough loss for Carter. She gave it her all
Hood: Too bad so sad
Smith: She’s definitely talented and could make some noise down the road in the Mix…however, for now, she’s starting off 0-1
Hood: Oh yea, she’ll probably beat up a bunch of other people not named CJ…no doubt
Smith: Well…we’ll see about that…a lot of talented competitors in the Mix. Anyway, let’s take a look backstage!
~We cut backstage to find Cap Slock dialing a number. We then cut away. Puffer is enjoying the quiet, fine company of elite dressed individuals. He’s in a fine cigar room, enjoying high end smokes and premium whiskey. They discuss politics, the economy, and the day’s Wimbledon results. His phone rings…he answers~
Jack Puffer: Detective Jack Puffer here! How can I be of service?
Cap Slock: PUFFER. WHERE ARE YOU?
~Cap Slock’s voice barrels out of the bottom end of Puffer’s phone. Everyone in the room can hear it. They all stop and look at Puffer. Puffer becomes embarrassed~
Jack Puffer: Is everything alright?
Cap Slock: WHAT TIME IS IT OVER THERE
Jack Puffer: Why it’s…it’s…my goodness, it’s nearly five in the morning! What a wonderful evening we’ve all had. How time flies when you’re rubbing elbows with such fine gentlemen.
Cap Slock: PUFFER LISTEN TO ME.
~Cap Slock continus to scream into the phone. Several of the English men shake their heads. A few comment on how Puffer is receiving a good scolding. Puffer just listens in. The conversation comes to an end. One of the elite English men steps forward…he calmly takes Puffer’s drink and cigar away~
Jack Puffer: Sure, I could use a refill…
Englishman: I believe it’s time we bid you goodbye, Puffer. It would seem as though you're required elsewhere. This club is for the independently wealthy only.
Jack Puffer: Gentlemen…after all we’ve shared. Bruce…Bernard…Harold…GEOFFREY?!
~The man obviously named Geoffrey lowers his head and points toward the door. He’s unable to look Jack in the eye. Puffer lowers his head and sulks away. The door shuts and the Englishmen resume their communal affair…a few commenting on their brush with the American commoner. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I’m no Puffer fan but I do feel sorry for him
Hood: How it can all unravel…five minutes ago he was close to securing Kate Middleton’s phone number…
Smith: And possibly front row seats to see Adele
Hood: Oh, didn’t you hear? He saw her like three times already while over there
Smith: I’LL KILL HIM!
Hood: Wow, calm down! Let’s head down to ringside before Smith does the unthinkable and curses on air
Margarita Mix
PerZag (8-3) vs. Bob Grenier (6-5)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is a MARGARITA MIX contest and it is scheduled for one fall!
~Smart Went Crazy begins echoes throughout the arena and Bob Grenier makes his way out. He mouths the words of the song to himself, about half way down the aisle he stops and looks up and throws both hands in the air in tribute to his deceased relatives. He looks directly into the OCW camera and then angrily slaps it away. He slides under the bottom rope. He sits on the top turnbuckle silently awaiting his opponent~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 222lbs…Bob Grenier!!
~The lights of the arena go out. All that is seen is a small glow of light from the entrance ramp. ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ by Survivor starts to play over the PA system. A hooded figure walks on to the entrance ramp. The lights come back on as the hooded figure stands still on the stage. The hooded figure walks down to the ring slowly. He gets into the ring and stands in the centre of it. He slowly removes the hood and the crowd gives a mixed reaction to him. 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor stops playing as PerZag walks over to a corner in the ring and crouches down near it~
Belveder: And his opponent…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…he is from Benalla, Victoria, Australia…PerZag!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Would you believe
Hood: No, I do not believe in Bigfoot
Smith: Not where I was going…WOULD YOU BELIEVE this is the first one on one encounter between Bob Grenier and PerZag?
Hood: I don’t know…maybe…what’s in it for me?
Smith: Forget it
~Grenier and PerZag approach one another…they meet in the center of the ring. Zag has a three inch height advantage and uses it to stare down at the former OCW Champion. Grenier looks up, unafraid. He smirks and nods his head, enjoying the attempt at intimidation. The fans are eager to watch the two get started~
Smith: Two former champions face to face for the first time!
Hood: Wild…these two have made up a good portion of the OCW backbone since 2014
Smith: Indeed…PerZag and Grenier helped carry this company through some of its darker days
~Grenier reaches back and throws a slap at Zag. PerZag, however, shows his freakishly quick reflexes and catches Grenier’s arm. Bob, undeterred, simply brings around his other hand for a slap….Zag catches that one as well. With both hands restricted within PerZag’s vice like grip Grenier resorts to a new method. He leans forward and headbutts Zag in the chest!! Zag staggers back, releasing Grenier’s arms. Grenier shoves Zag in the chest…he flies backward, slamming into the corner. Grenier sprints in and lifts a knee right underneath Zag’s chin~
Smith: Bob Grenier doing what springs to mind
Hood: He’s not much of a planner…that’s why I like him
Smith: Indeed…he works on impulse…he goes with the flow
Hood: A great trait for an OCW wrestler to possess
~Grenier climbs to the middle rope and begins to slam right fists into Zag’s head. The crowd, not really fans of the current, SOBER Grenier count along because…hey…COUNTING IS FUN. So they go…8…9…10!! Grenier hops off…Zag stumbles forward, right into his arms…Grenier hugs PerZag, lifts him up and drops him with a Belly to Belly suplex. The Australian monster is on his back, grimacing in pain. Grenier springs back to his feet, looking fresh~
Smith: Sobriety seems to be doing wonders for Grenier’s complexion as well as his stamina!
Hood: I guess…but it did cost him that match against Alice
Smith: You can’t blame that on sobriety!
Hood: Oh hell yes I can…the old Grenier would have wasted the gypsy witch!
~Grenier snares Zag’s blonde hair, ripping him from the canvas and to his feet. He whips Zag into the ropes...Zag sprints across the ring, bouncing off and shooting toward Grenier…Grenier attemps to leap frog Zag…Zag catches Grenier!! Grenier’s eyes widen…he shakes his head. He reaches down and tries to poke Zag in the eye. Zag’s knees bend, he nearly falls while enduring the pain of an elongated eye rake. He DRILLS Grenier into the mat with a spinebuster and promptly rolls over, holding his face in pain~
Smith: Nice move by PerZag….even if his face paid for it
Hood: Unexpected eye examinations are the worst!
Smith: Interesting way to put it
Hood: I was gonna go with the eye rake from hell…but, meh, why not get creative?
Smith: Indeed!
~Grenier is first to his feet, shaking off the spinebuster before PerZag shakes off the eye rake. He hooks Zag from behind, around the waist…he attempts a dead lift German Suplex…Zag blocks it…with his eyes squinted he throws a back elbow into the side of Grenier’s head. Grenier releases his grip and staggers back. Zag does some kind of airplane spin…rotating around and DRILLING Grenier in the side of the head and neck with a lariat!! Grenier falls to the mat, holding his neck in pain~
Smith: Excellent balance and agility shown by PerZag
Hood: Fucking guy never fails to impress with his athleticism
Smith: Indeed…one of the most naturally gifted athletes we’ve ever had in OCW
Hood: Just imagine if he used drugs like Syren…just imagine how good he’d be
~Zag yanks Grenier back up and drills a few forearms into his head. He backs Grenier against the ropes and shoots him across the ring. Grenier sprints across the canvas, bouncing off the opposite ropes…PerZag takes off, several feet behind Grenier. As soon as Grenier shoots off the ropes PerZag lifts a knee into Grenier’s gut!!! Grenier flips over Zag’s knee and lands harshly on the mat…he covers his abdomen and rolls around, writhing in pain~
Smith: That’ll knock the wind right out of you
Hood: Dick move by PerZag
Smith: Nothing illegal about that move, Hood
Hood: Yea but right in the gut? I mean, c’mon…if you’re gonna go that low you might as well just punch the man in the dick
~Zag stalks the writhing Grenier. He snares Bob by the hair, hoisting him back to his feet. He head butts Grenier! Bob falls into the ropes, hanging on for support. Zag throws a jumping knee strike into Grenier’s chin!! Grenier nearly goes over the top rope. Zag drags Grenier away from the ropes, back into the ring. He hooks Grenier around the waist, lifts him up and drops him with a Gut Wrench Suplex!!~
Smith: It would appear that we are seeing the PerZag of old!
Hood: About damn time…I’ve been wondering when the horror show from Benalla would return
Smith: He’s making life tough on Bob Grenier…I don’t think Bob expected this type of effort
Hood: I’m not sure Bob gave a fuck, to be honest. He probably didn’t even know who he was facing until Zag’s music hit
~Zag backs up, into a corner. Grenier remains down, facing the lights. Zag hops onto the middle rope, measuring Grenier up. He leaps off and drills Grenier in the head with a knee drop!! Bob rolls over, onto his stomach, holding his face. PerZag pops back to his feet…he observes Grenier’s positioning…he stands over the former champion, lifts his leg up and PLANTS Grenier’s face into the mat with a curb stomp!!! Grenier goes still. Zag rolls him back over and tries for a pinfall~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Vicious offense by PerZag…I’d forgotten just how brutal he can be
Hood: He is violent…but he’s in Australia…a place where everything can kill you…so he kinda has to be
Smith: There are some dangerous animals in Australia
Hood: Not to mention Fosters beer…that shit is straight up Diesel fuel!
Smith: I wouldn’t know
~Zag shows no emotion, returning to his knees and then his feet. He pulls Grenier to his feet and hooks him for a suplex. Zag then grabs Grenier’s leg. The crowd rises. Grenier struggles…he kicks his leg away and shoves PerZag back. Grenier, still reeling from the head trauma, falls backwards, through the ropes, onto the apron~
Smith: This may be their first one on one match but Grenier is WELL aware of PerZag Perfection
Hood: He’s only won like a million matches with that move…I’d imagine even Scruff would recognize it
Smith: Hmm
Hood: Okay, maybe not Scruff.
~Zag charges forward, throwing a punch. Grenier catches Zag’s arm and drops off the apron, raking it across the top rope!! Zag reaches for his right shoulder, ripping his arm away. Grenier leans back, against the barricade, his face is red with irritation, he’s taken a pretty solid beating up to this point so…the veteran is going to catch a breather~
Smith: Nice move by Grenier but he’s still not all there
Hood: He’s never been all there
Smith: You know what I mean
Hood: What? Is he disappearing like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future?
Smith: Forget it
~Zag shakes off the disjointed shoulder and heads for the ropes. He steps through, finding his footing on the apron. Grenier springs forward, he shoves PerZag’s feet out from under him!! PerZag tumbles face first towards the ground!! He gets his hands up, softening the blow somewhat…however, his face SLAMS into the outside floor! His neck bends back, awkwardly. His feet and legs remain propped up on the apron. The fans boo Grenier aggressively. He laughs, pointing at PerZag saying something about how ‘he might be dead now’~
Smith: He tried to cripple PerZag!
Hood: Yea, well PerZag shouldn’t have been posing on the apron
Smith: He wasn’t POSING…he was simply trying to exit the ring in a normal manner
Hood: I’m pretty sure he was posing
Smith: Well then you need glasses
~Grenier grabs Zag by the hair…hoisting him parallel to the ground. Zag’s legs are still hanging over the apron. Grenier hooks Zag’s head under his arm and drops him with an Evenflow DDT onto the floor!!! The fans groan….several boo…Zag seems to be OUT. Grenier uses the apron cloth to pull himself up…he shoves Zag’s legs, violently off the apron…the sling to the side, slamming up against the steel steps. Grenier looks up at Scruff…Scruff yells out “ONE!” Grenier rolls into the ring, looking satisfied with a count out~
Smith: I don’t see how PerZag gets up…this match is, in all likelihood, over
Hood: The old PerZag, maybe. But this QUITTER PerZag…fuck no…he’s done
Smith: Bob Grenier is wrestling with a mean streak we’ve yet to witness in his OCW career. He tried to ruin Alice Knight and now…tonight, he may have just ended the meager beginnings of a comeback for his former tag team partner, PerZag
Hood: Boo fucking hoo
~Scruff continues to count…he yells “FIVE!” PerZag finally moves. He rolls onto his back…his nose appears busted. Scruff yells “SIX!” The fans at ringside urge Zag to get moving…otherwise he’s going to start the Mix off with a crushing defeat~
Smith: If he loses this match via count out…I honestly don’t think he’ll recover
Hood: I’d agree
Smith: I mean, I know he’s got twelve more matches…but given the past few months…PerZag NEEDS a strong showing here
Hood: He needs a slump buster! Too bad Genier isn’t your average hoe
~Zag sits up, against the side of the ring. He reaches around his nose, checking to see if it’s broken. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” The crowd is really frantic…they yell at Zag to get up. Scruff yells ‘NINE!’~
Smith: He’s not going to make it!
Hood: We saw Josie Barnes counted out a month or so ago…count outs DO happen
Smith: Indeed!
~Zag reaches up, snaring the bottom rope. The freak athlete pulls up…he grabs the middle rope…continuing to pull up. Grenier’s eyes widen. Scruff pauses, taken back by what he’s witnessing. PerZag snares the top rope with one hand, then the other…he finally skins the cat back into the ring. The crowd goes wild. Grenier shakes his head…Scruff looks down at his hands…nine fingers…he motions for the match to continue~
Smith: What athleticism!
Hood: PerZag is a fucking BEAST
Smith: I think that answers it…the old PerZag is back!
Hood: Grenier had better adjust…this won’t be the easy victory many assumed
~Zag’s back is to Grenier. Bob leans into the ropes…he shoots off and sprints toward his former tag partner. Zag suddenly spins around and he catches Bob with a hand around the throat!! Bob’s eyes widen…he slaps at the break in Zag’s arm, trying to get free. Zag lifts Bob up and chokeslams him into the mat!! The crowd goes wild~
Smith: These fans are solidly behind PerZag…I have to believe it’s due to Bob’s recent actions against Alice Knight
Hood: Can we get through ONE NIGHT without mentioning that vile woman?
Smith: She’s an OCW legend
Hood: KILL ME NOW
~Zag reaches down, grasping Bob by the throat once again. He yanks Bob off the canvas and bullies him into a corner. The look in Zag’s eyes is menacing. He’s had enough of Grenier’s mouth. He lifts Grenier into the air by the throat and places him atop the corner. Zag climbs up…he releases his choke hold and hooks Grenier’s head. He lifts Bob into the air and drops him into the mat with a Superplex!! PerZag goes for a quick cover…Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: PerZag is furious…Grenier has belittled him and mocked his personal tragedies all week
Hood: I didn’t think what Bob said was that bad…he was just giving his opinion on a few incidents
Smith: Not that bad? I’d go into specific detail but I dare not repeat the verbal atrocities
Hood: Like that means anything…it’s 2017 and you still won’t say DAMN on air
~Zag slaps at the mat. He’s growing frustrated…his anger may be clouding his judgment. He pulls Grenier to his feet and whips him into a corner…Grenier slams hard. PerZag sprints in, flying through the air with a Stinger Splash!! Grenier staggers out of the corner…Zag catches him and plants him into the mat with a spinning scoop slam!! Zag pops to his feet with the crowd fully behind him…he’s got the fire of the 2014 PerZag~
Smith: Here we go! Zag is close to finishing this match off
Hood: Fucking Bob just can’t catch a break
Smith: The only fear I have…for PerZag is his emotion. He’s made a career off of being this emotionless, hardworking…no nonsense competitor…yet tonight he seems to be overflowing with sentimentality
Hood: I’m sure he’s just happy to be back and in good form. Feels good doing what you do best
~PerZag pulls Grenier to his feet and slaps him. He then backhands Grenier! He follows that up with a straight right hand!! Grenier wobbles…PerZag SPITS in Grenier’s face!! The crowd goes wild. Grenier is out on his feet. Zag heads for the nearest corner~
Smith: Death from Above…PerZag is going for Death from Above!
Hood: Shit’s over…right here!
Smith: If he pulls it off…stuff will definitely be over
Hood: I said shit, not stuff! Geezus man
Smith: As if there’s a difference!
Hood: Sure there is…just ask George Carlin!
~Zag reaches the top. Grenier turns, facing him. PerZag turns his back to Grenier and he leaps off with a Moonsault!! He soars through the air…it’s a picturesque moment of aerial artistry. The crowd is almost silenced by the beauty. Zag comes soaring down right into BOB’S ARMS! Bob catches Zag and drops him across the top buckle with SNAKE EYES! He steps back…Zag turns around…Grenier hooks him in a Front Chancery…he then positions him over his shoulder and drops him into the mat with Hollinger Park Hangman!!! The crowd boos vociferously. Scruff slides in as Bob makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…BOB GRENIER!!!!!
Smith: Grenier with the win! PerZag, I think, tried to end it too soon and, well, paid the price
Hood: Tried to end it too soon? Guy was just going with the flow…I blame it on the time off…
Smith: Indeed…that could have played a factor…while Grenier has been battling Alice Knight…PerZag has been on the sidelines. He looked great…but it might take a match or two before he’s back to 100%
Hood: You’re unbelievable
Smith: What?
Hood: You ALWAYS manage to sneak Alice Knight’s name into commentary
Smith: Everything I said was relevant so I will NOT be apologizing
Hood: You’re fucking stubborn as well
Smith: That’s your opinion. In my opinion…it’s been a GREAT night of action! We’ve got one match remaining so…before we find out who will challenge Iggy Hardy in two weeks time…let’s get an update on the dejected…rejected Jack Puffer
~We cut to a shot inside a UK airport. Puffer is standing in front of an employee, waiting to buy a ticket. Are they even open at five am? For continuity purposes we’ll say YES. Puffer sighs as he slides a card across the counter~
Airport Employee: Hello sir…where will you be flying this morning?
Jack Puffer: …the US…
~Puffer continues staring at the counter. He sighs over and over again with deep melancholy~
Airport Employee: Where in the US, sir?
Jack Puffer: It doesn’t matter…hell would be the appropriate name for where I’m heading compared to where I’ve been.
Airport Employee: Hell it is!
~We see images of Puffer watching Adele from the front row. They go out for pizza afterwards. Puffer is then shown viewing the Eiffel tower while wooing a French woman. Next we see Puffer enjoying German beers with a bunch of natives…they all sing his praises. A shot of Puffer outside the Coliseum is shown…he’s laughing loudly with some fellow travelers. After that a shot of Puffer touring the Vatican is displayed…he meets the Pope…the Pope hugs Puffer and asks Puffer’s advice on several important issues. Puffer is then shown touring Athens. And, finally, we see Puffer in the back at Wimbledown, surrounded by his former wealthy friends…he’s got his arm around Maria Sharapova. A loud printing noise demolishes the montage. A ticket emerges with one word clearly visible~
~Without looking Puffer snares his ticket…is given the company card back and makes his way toward his terminal. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I’m sorry…but I do NOT feel one bit of sympathy for Jack Puffer
Hood: Are you kidding me? He’s heading to DETROIT…guy is as good as dead
Smith: Detroit isn’t that bad
Hood: Would you like to head over there and confirm that?
Smith: No way am I stepping foot in that disgusting city
Hood: See!
Smith: Anyway…it’s time for our main event…Curt Canon and Bradley Carrington are set to compete…the winner will face Iggy Hardy for the Savage Championship in two weeks…let’s head down to ringside!
OCW Savage Championship #1 Contenders Match
”Professor” Bradley Carrington (6-2) vs. Curt Canon (6-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! This match will be held under SAVAGE rules. The winner will face Iggy Hardy on July 17th for the OCW Savage Championship!
~The crowd goes wild at the announcement. “Figure 8” by Trust Company hits…they go from wild to orgasmic!! Curt Canon pops out from behind the curtain…he looks around the OCW Arena with a smile on his face. Before he heads to the ramp, he reaches behind the curtain to grab something. His arms emerges with his hand holding a square object wrapped in brown paper. He smiles, nods to the music and sprints down the ramp…he dives head first, sliding under the bottom rope, toward the center of the ring. He pops up to his feet and motions toward the crowd as they chant “CANON!”~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is a current OCW Hall of Famer…he is…Curt Canon!!!
~"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" by Weezer starts to play. The cheers turn to boos. Bradley Carrington steps onto the stage, wearing a grey t shirt that says "Carrington" in red letters on it, the 'C' has a graduate cap over it. He is reading a copy of his book: "Being the Best at Everything, the Bradley Carrington Story". He pauses, as if he is moved by his own writing, before closing the book and walking towards the ring. As he approaches the ring, he picks a fan in the front row, signs the book, and hands it to them. He jumps onto the ring apron, climbs in between the ropes, and poses for photos from his adoring fan - Autumn. He removes his t shirt and waits for the match to begin~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Ithaca, New York…standing six feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs…”Professor” Bradley Carrington!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Very exciting main event, Hood. Curt Canon…OCW’s most blithe competitor taking on a man who takes himself far too seriously
Hood: Yea, Canon needs to relax. He’s grown way too serious since 2001
Smith: I was talking about Carrington
Hood: The Greatest Man That Ever Lived? How can perfection take itself too seriously? It’s perfect!
Smith: Nevermind
~Carrington approaches Canon. Curt throws his hand in the air, motioning for Carrington to stop. Surprisingly, Carrington obliges…perhaps caught off guard. Canon lifts the wrapped item in the air…the crowd goes wild. He then rips at the wrapping like a toddler anxious to reveal a birthday gift. The wrapping is ripped to shreds, covering the canvas. Canon then reveals to everyone, including Carrington what was underneath~
Smith: What is it?
Hood: I don’t know…why don’t you just tell me
Smith: It appears to be a book of some kind
Hood: Curt Canon WITH a book? Oh man, he HAS grown far too serious in recent years
~We zoom in to show a BOOK. It has stick figures drawn on the cover. The title, slovenly penned reads “Being okay at some things – The Canon Chronicles.” The crowd goes wild with ‘YES!’ chants. Carrington’s eyes widen, he looks around, miffed. He snares the book and opens it up, flipping through pages…each page has shitty drawn stick figures and maybe a sentence’s worth of words. He points at one page “THAT’S NOT EVEN A COMPLETE SENTENCE!”~
Smith: Bradley Carrington is not impressed
Hood: Carrington stole his thunder…the autobiography was HIS idea
Smith: To be fair, lots of wrestlers have written autobiographies
Hood: Yes, but nothing with the class and sophistication of The Bradley Carrington Story…I’m sure it will CRUSH Canon’s crappy book
~A tally pops up on the OCW Tron. It has a picture of Carrington’s book next to one of Canon’s. A tally of ‘sold’ copies resides underneath. Both are at 0~
Smith: Uh oh
Hood: Wait and see Smith…Carrington is about to take Canon’s title shot AND outsell his shitty ass book
~Carrington’s 0 blinks it starts to turn into a 1…but it stops, remaining at 0. Canon’s tally suddenly FLIES up…it soars past ten, it leaps beyond twenty and keeps rising and rising. Carrington is irate. He tosses the book at the mat and orders Autumn to have that removed from the OCWTron immediately. Canon grabs the copy of his book. He taps Carrington on the back. Bradley turns around and yells “WHAT?” Canon SMACKS Carrington in the head with the hard, plastic covering of his book~
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: How is this fair? Humiliate the man and then jump him? What the shit is this?
Smith: It’s a Savage Rules match, Hood. Anything goes!
Hood: Man we need Welsh back…so, so bad
~Carrington staggers into the corner…Canon steps onto the middle rope, holding his book high. He then brings it crashing down with both hands into Bradley’s head. He repeats this over and over as the crowd counts along. 8…9…10!! Canon holds up his index finger and brings it down one, final time for an uneven ELEVEN! He hops out of the ring and hustles to the barricade where a buxom blonde is looking up at him with some HUNGRY eyes. He hands her the book and gives her a thumb up. She blushes…he heads back for the ring~
Smith: What a moment for Canon and this crowd!
Hood: Seriously? He basically paid for sex
Smith: He did not!
Hood: Sure he did…if she fucks him after the show then he bribed her into doing it
Smith: If any copulating goes on…I can assure you it’s on a level, consensual basis
~Carrington is hunched forward with his arms draped over the top rope. Canon grabs him by the hair…Bradley snaps out of it…playing possum, perhaps. He elbows Curt in the face and whips him across the ring…Canon sprints for the opposite corner…he jumps onto the middle rope and leaps backward, hurdling over the incoming Carrington. Carrington stops just short of slamming into the corner. Canon lands on both feet…Carrington then throws a superkick into Canon’s jaw!! Curt falls to the mat, holding his face in pain. The fans boo~
Smith: Ouch!
Hood: There we go! Enough with this bullshit rigmarole…let the talent prevail!
Smith: Might I remind you that Curt Canon IS a Hall of Famer
Hood: I wish you wouldn’t
~Carrington, showing some aggression, snares Canon by the hair…he yanks him to his feet throws a vicious kick into Canon’s lower abdomen. Curt doubles over…Carrington hooks him around the waits…he hoists Canon into the air for a powerbomb…he grabs Canon by the pants and hoists him up, over his head before driving Curt into the mat with a Last Ride!! The fans boo! Canon is motionless on the mat~
Smith: I guess Bradley Carrington just had to get that lingering Last Ride out of his system
Hood: I knew he could do it
Smith: Curt weighs almost a hundred pounds less than Mack
Hood: True but with that hair…it makes hoisting him up that much harder. You know…the hair getting caught in the wind. With Mack…it’s smooth sailing
~Instead of going for a pin, Carrington kicks Canon around like a piece of trash. Curt rolls near the ropes. Bradley takes a few steps back before rushing forward and punting Canon in the ribcage with a soccer kick! Canon rolls, violently off the apron, splatting onto the floor outside the ring. Carrington observes the angry crowd as they spew their displeasure. He’s unmoved~
Smith: Carrington is beginning to dismantle the former OCW Champion
Hood: Canon is a robot?
Smith: No
Hood: Then how is he dismantling him? I don’t see Carrington removing any arms…or legs. Did he lose some teeth? IS BRADLEY CARRINGTON THE TOOTHFAIRY?
Smith: No he is not!
~Carrington steps through the ropes and hops off the apron, next to Canon. He yanks Canon off the ground and hoists him over his shoulder. Carringon faces the barricade…he walks, briskly toward the barricade and flips Canon over with a Powerslam onto the top of the barricade!! Canon yells out in pain as he spills into the crowd, legs first~
Smith: Vicious move! I know it’s been two weeks but Curt is most likely still feeling the punishment from Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: CJ kicked his ass!
Smith: A bit of a stretch…that was a highly competitive match
Hood: Ass kicking!
~Carrington reaches into the crowd, over the barricade…he grabs Canon by the hair and forces him to a standing position. He smashes Canon in the face with a forearm. Canon’s body wobbles. Carrington hooks Canon for a suplex. He hoists Canon vertically…Canon throws some knees, while in the air, into Carrington’s head! Carrington’s grip loosens…Canon is able to drop to his feet, behind Carrington. He hits Carrington in the back with a few forearm shots. He reaches down and grabs Carrington’s legs, lifting them up…Carrington’s upper body is draped over the barricade. Canon, with Carrington’s legs in the wheel barrow position, starts to throw kick after kick in the lower abdomen/groin area. The crowd counts along with glee~
Smith: That looks painful
Hood: These fucking fans...they have no idea what’s best for them
Smith: I suppose, in your mind, that would be a Carrington win?
Hood: Definitely…but I’m referring to Carrington’s ability to reproduce. With that brain…I’m sure he’d sire future senators, doctors, lawyers…you name it
~Canon finally ceases the kicking with a loud, resounding “TWELVE” from the crowd. He hops onto the barricade, looking rather fresh for a guy who’s absorbed a fair amount of punishment. He finds his balance and sprints across the barricade, toward Carrington, whose upper body is still draped across. Canon leaps off the barricade and delivers a double foot stomp into the back of Carrington’s head!! Carrington’s body flings over the barricade, flipping head first into the crowd!! Canon lands, awkwardly onto the concrete floor, he limps around, reaching for both knees~
Smith: What a move!
Hood: That fucking guy…I hope he blew out both knees!
Smith: That’s terrible!
Hood: Is it, Smith? IS IT?
~Canon works his knees back and forth. He doesn’t have enough time to properly work out the pain. Carrington is already on one knee. Canon rushes over and kicks Carrington in the side of the head! Carrington’s body flies into some chairs…fans scatter. Canon reaches for one of the chairs…it’s a typical, folding chair. He also spots a box of SOURPATCH KIDS. Canon dumps what’s remaining into his hand…he casts aside the green and throws the rest into his mouth. The fan nearby complains…Canon hits him with the chair! The fans go wild with a nearby friend saying “Thanks, he’s the worst friend ever!” Carrington, trying to sit up but failing due to his shifty base comprised of loose chairs, catches Canon’s attention. Curt throws the chair at Carrington’s head…it SMACKS him right into the forehead sending the ‘Professor’ collapsing back into the chairs~
Smith: Things are breaking down
Hood: No kidding…he MIXED red and yellow and orange together? What an animal!
Smith: Nothing wrong with that
Hood: Oh…and I guess you’re a fan of those FREAKS who mix all the sodas together into one cup
Smith: Suicides!
Hood: Which is EXACTLY what people who do that should contemplate
Smith: That’s a little harsh
~Canon spots a familiar face. He points at the fan and motions for him to step forward…it’s Curt Canon fan and Bradley Carrington challenger….TRUC NONAC! Curt pulls Bradley to his feet and hooks both arms behind Carrington’s back. He then urges Truc to get some revenge. Truc leans in and punches Carrington in the face!! The crowd goes wild. Canon gives Truc a thumb up before releasing Carrington’s arms, hooking him around the waist and positioning his position with his back against the barricade. Canon then tosses Carrington over his head and the barricade with a Release German!! Carrington lands on the floor around the ring, roughly! He tumbles over his head and comes to a rest on his face. Canon stands, taking in the cheers…fans are surprised by his show of strength. He flexes. He works the right bicep…the fans go wild…he then works the left bicep…they go wild…he goes back to the right bicep…they go wild…then the left and so on for several moments, soaking in the cheers~
Smith: Both Canon and Carrington were crestfallen after Stainless Steel Ride…but…this week…this opportunity…this match seems to have reinvigorated their fighting spirit
Hood: I think Canon is juicing
Smith: Really? Good for him…I love my juicer. Those Dr. Oz drinks are the best
Hood: It was a euphemism for steroids you moron
Smith: Well excuse me if my mind doesn’t immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion
Hood: No, you are not excused
~Canon hops on top of the barricade, facing the ring. He finds his balance with ease. He leaps off with a frogsplash!! He lands on Carrington’s back!! The crowd erupts with ‘CANON’ chants! He stands, holding his midsection in pain…he then looks toward the ring realizing he can’t secure a pinfall on the outside~
Smith: Curt might be close to victory…however, he has got to get Carrington back inside that ring
Hood: Why don’t we just go all the way with this Savage division?
Smith: Excuse me?
Hood: Fuck it…Falls Count Anywhere…just throw that in there…why not?
Smith: I think some structure is nice
Hood: Well…what if being forced to put Carrington back into the ring costs Canon the match? Would you feel the same way?
Smith: I’d like to think so
~Curt pulls Carrington up and manages to shove him onto the apron, under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Carrington rolls near the center, conveniently coming to rest on his back. Canon hops onto the apron and rushes toward the nearest corner. He climbs to the top…he leaps off with a Swanton Bomb! He hits!! The crowd goes wild….Canon makes the cover…Scruff counts~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Carrington kicked out!
Hood: Took too long to get him back in the ring
Smith: Perhaps
Hood: I’m telling you…these matches need to be FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
~Canon pops back to his feet…he yanks Carrington up and quickly hooks him for the Canon Cutter!! The crowd goes wild…Curt pauses for a moment, mugging for the fans. He then turns his focus back to Carrington. Before he can finish him off with the Canon Cutter…Carrington’s arm gets free…he drops down and delivers a stunner to Curt!! Curt stumbles into the ropes. Carrington gets to his feet…Canon bounces off the ropes and unwittingly walks toward Carrington…Bradley jumps up and he locks in the Cornell Clutch (Triangle)!! Canon’s arms swing wildly as the fans yell out in panic~
Smith: Cornell Clutch!! This is one of the most devastating submission holds in OCW
Hood: Well Curt it was nice of you to stop by…see ya later
Smith: I know it looks bleak but you can never count out a Hall of Famer
Hood: This one you can
~Curt continues to fight but he’s losing steam. His having trouble breathing…his head turns a darker shade of flesh than the rest of his body. He falls to his knees as Carrington applies more pressure, feeling a tap on the horizon. The fans chant for Canon to survive…to escape…to do anything other than tap or pass out~
Smith: I just can’t see him outlasting this
Hood: Nice to know your vision is 20/20
Smith: I have always had great vision
Hood: Dude, you wear glasses
Smith: That doesn’t mean I have bad eyesight
Hood: That’s EXACTLY what it means…unless you’re one of those LOSERS who only wear the frames
Smith: Who on Earth would do something like that?
Hood: Idiotic millionaires
~Canon’s body squirms around…the ropes are too far…the hold is too tight. He appears out of options. Scruff looks down…the emotion on his face says he might stop the match. Canon regains his footing, coming off his knees…his ass is pointed in the air. Carrington applies more pressure…Canon’s knees weaken~
Smith: I’m not sure what Curt has in mind but if he doesn’t pull it off soon he’s going to be choked out
Hood: I would say he could suffer brain damage if he stays in that hold much longer but…I mean, c’mon
Smith: Such a rude statement
Hood: Hey, like a shot of penicillin…the truth hurts but is ultimately beneficial
~Canon’s knees almost buckle…he nearly falls back to the mat…BUT he strengthens his base…his feet dig into the mat before pushing off! Canon’s body flips over…it’s not very fluid and it looks like it could do some serious harm to his head and neck…however, he manages to work his way over with his front facing the ceiling, his feet on the mat behind Carrington’s head and, more importantly, both of Carrington’s shoulders pinned to the mat. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: How did Canon do that?
Hood: He didn’t JUST adopt Checkers…the fucker joined the circus, apparently
Smith: Talk about flexibility…regardless, Carrington HAD to kick out and, in doing so, released the Cornell Clutch
Hood: Fucking Canon…how do you wrestle this guy? He’s like Montana
Smith: Wide open…in a creative sense?
Hood: No…off the map
Smith: Montana is on the map
Hood: Not to those who matter
~Canon falls forward, onto all fours. He reaches for his throat and neck. Carrington sits up, frustrated. He rolls over and gets to his feet…he snares Canon by the waist and dead lifts the little hall of famer. He tries for a dead lift German…but Canon blocks it and goes for a cutter…Carrington shoves Canon off…Canon hits the ropes, front first and stumbles backward. Carrington tries to lift him up in an Electric Chair…Canon jumps over Bradley’s head and lands behind him…he grabs Carrington’s head and hooks him for the Canon Cutter~
Smith: Canon Cutter!
Hood: Oh shit!
~Carrington reaches up and grabs Curt’s throat! Still weakened from the Cornell Clutch the act forces Canon to loosen his hold. Carrington raises up, with Canon on his shoulder. Standing, Carrington runs toward a corner, looking to drop Canon with Snake Eyes. He tosses Canon at the corner but Canon is able to spring forward with his legs and land on the top buckle~
Smith: Great agility by Curt Canon!
Hood: Did he inject some of that monkey’s genetics into his blood stream?
Smith: I doubt it
Hood: I mean…I’m no science fiction fan…I think superhero moves are fucking retarded…but with this guy…I’m beginning to wonder
Smith: He’s just a superior athlete, Hood
~Carrington lunges forward before Canon can do anything. He slams his arms into the top ropes as they jut out of the top buckle. Canon loses his footing and gets CROTCHED on the top buckle! The fans boo…Canon’s mouth opens wide as he leans to the side, nearly falling off the corner, onto the apron~
Smith: Despicable way to regain control
Hood: SMART way to regain control. How do you slow down a monkey man? You hit him in the crotch!
Smith: I guess
~Carrington climbs onto the middle rope. He hooks his arms around Canon’s head. He steps up to the top rope, pulling Canon to his feet. Carrington then tosses Canon off the top rope with a Dragon Suplex!! Canon lands on the back of his head!! He flips over onto his stomach!! Carrington managed, while performing the move, to wrap his legs around the top rope…so, after tossing Canon he’s hanging upside down in the corner. He sits up~
Smith: Top Rope Release Dragon Suplex…my goodness! Canon may have a sprained neck…or worse!
Hood: Yea or worse…he might be perfectly fine!
Smith: Stop that!
Hood: Don’t you put Baby in a Corner
~Carrington stands with his back to Canon…he turns around, facing the incapacitated hall of famer. He then leaps off with the PhD Press!! He connects, landing on Canon’s back!! The crowd boos! Carrington rolls Canon over and goes for the pin…Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the #1 Contender to the OCW Savage Championship….“PROFESSOR” BRADLEY CARRINGTON!!!!!
Smith: Bradley Carrington is going on to face Iggy Hardy in two weeks…a rematch from a contest that took place over one month ago
Hood: Who won that match, remind me
Smith: You know Carrington defeated Iggy in that match
Hood: The Professor is about to get his first taste of gold in OCW!
Smith: We’ll see about that…Iggy BARELY lost to Carrington and some people think it was a fluke
Hood: If by some people you mean Treat Cassidy and his insignificant rolodex…YEA I SAID IT…rolodex of clientele…then, yes, you’d be right
Smith: Regardless it should be a great match between two of OCW’s best
~Canon is out of the ring, being helped to the back. Carrington looks around for Autumn…but she left ringside awhile back to get the book sales tally off the screen. He decides to celebrate by himself…hoisting his hands in the air. The crowd boos loudly…but Carrington just acts like he’s being cheered. Suddenly, “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits! Carrington’s eyes pop…he heads toward the ropes nearest the ramp. He watches, eagerly~
Smith: That’s Matt Meyhu’s music!
Hood: I know Carrington has been trying to reach his Aptitude buddies all week…he even dedicated this match to the Aptitude…could this be the start of a rebirth?
Smith: It might be…Meyhu is the headliner…he’s the OCW Champion…obviously someone Carrington respects and possibly looks up to. It would mean a lot if he came out here to approve of Bradley’s performance.
~Carrington continues to watch. Meyhu seems to be taking his time~
Smith: Making us wait, I guess
Hood: CLASSIC MEYHU
~The crowd suddenly bursts with excitement. A figure slides into the ring behind Carrington. It’s…~
Smith: MIKE ZYBALA
Hood: What the fuck? Get him out of there!
Smith: He seems to be okay…or at least well enough to come back out here after Assassin’s attack
Hood: This fucking guy…turn around Bradley! TURN AROUND
~Carrington smiles…he obviously thinks the cheers are for the impending Meyhu/Carrington moment. Finally, he sense something afoot. He slowly turns around with a poised Zybala waiting. Carrington makes the full turn and Zybala charges forward with a running knee into Carrington’s face!!! The crowd goes wild~
Smith: What a knee! Very CJ like!
Hood: Don’t compare this man to the Distinguished
~The crowd is on their feet jumping up and down with “ZY-BA-LA!” chants. Carrington is reeling against the ropes. He steps forward, out on his feet. Zybala SUPERKICKS Carrington in the jaw!! Carrington falls against the ropes…again, they keep him from hitting the mat. Zybala looks around…the crowd understands what he’s communicating and chants ‘DO IT!’ Zybala nods and bends over, reaching for Carrington’s legs~
Smith: He just hit Carrington with a portion of Facial Reconstruction and now…now he’s going for Sound of Silence!
Hood: He’s going to kill the Professor!
Smith: That would be a tragedy…but on the bright side…Canon might replace Carrington in that match
Hood: Are you fucking serious right now?
~Zybala hoists Carrington over his shoulders in an inverted Fireman’s Carry…he then drops the back of Carrington’s head into his knee with a Reverse Go To Sleep!!! Carrington crashes to the mat, unconscious. The crowd goes wild. Zybala stands in the middle of the ring…he looks down at Carrington and yells “WEAK ASS PROFESSOR!” The crowd erupts…the cameras are shaking from the response~
Smith: These fans love Zybala…I haven’t heard the OCW arena this loud in a LONG time…well folks…that’s all we’ve got time for this week
Hood: Zybala is going to pay, Smith. He’s going to pay!
Smith: For my broadcast colleague Hood…I’m Smith saying goodnight and we’ll see you next Monday!
~We get one last shot of a triumphant Zybala before Massacre goes off air. We fade to black~