LIVE! Monday, June 26th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~The screen goes black. The poster for Stainless Steel Ride flashes. Highlights from last week’s record setting event are shown. We see CJ O’Donnell capture Checkers. Chad Vargas is shown surviving Julliet Brooks. Alice Knight emerging from the Birdcage in victory over Bob Grenier is played next. We then see a clip of Lukas Emery capturing the Oh Shit Contract. More serious music starts up…PM demolishing a Bifford fan airs followed by their hard fought, intense victory over The Aptitude. Carrington and O’Connor follow that up with their classic Checklist match – O’Connor’s hand is raised in victory. Iggy locking Rebel inside a prison cell is up next. That is followed immediately by the rodeo arena being torn to shreds moments after Damian K’ outlasts Robbie Rayder to retain his Ascension Championship. And…finally…the main event. Meyhu and TIO are shown brawling all over the prison grounds, both trying to find a way out. In the end, Meyhu makes it through a hole in the fence…our lasting image is of Meyhu holding the OCW Championship under a spotlight in the middle of a warm, Louisiana summer evening. We cut to the live feed showing the jam packed OCW Arena…the fans are stoked…they are ready for the next era of OCW competition…the march towards Serial Thrillers. Before any nifty signs or witty dialogue can tickle our senses…the PA system goes off~
~“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” hits and the fans immediately begin to boo. ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu steps out onto the ramp, flanked by Ezra Rosenberg. Meyhu has the Savage Championship over one shoulder and the OCW Championship over the other~
Hood: Here he comes! Here comes the champion!
Smith: You’re right about that. At Stainless Steel Ride, the vacated OCW Championship was up for grabs in match between The Incredible One, and this man right here… Matt Meyhu.
~With his signature smug grin on his face, ‘The Marvel’ leads the way to the ring. He climbs the stairs and waits as Ezra pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and dusts off the apron. Meyhu nods and walks along the apron before climbing in~
Smith: Was that really necessary?
Hood: His shoes are worth more than your apartment!
~Ezra retrieves a microphone and joins Meyhu in the ring. They trade titles for the microphone as Meyhu turns to face the fans who are still booing him. He takes a deep breath and smiles wide~
Matt Meyhu: We did it! We did it, OCW! I mean… I did all the heavy lifting, sure, but you… You… Well, you didn’t really have my back, did you?
~Meyhu looks over at Ezra, who is shaking his head~
Matt Meyhu: Let me rephrase that… I did it! I did it, OCW!
~More boos funnel in~
Matt Meyhu: I know, I know. Huuuuuu! Don't try to butter me up. It's a little late to jump on this bandwagon. You had your chance! Live with your decision.
~Ezra smiles and nods. Matt retrieves the Savage title from him~
Matt Meyhu: Now… Stainless Steel Ride. It couldn't have gone better for me. This right here… It's a symbol of that outcome.
~Meyhu raises the belt up over his head~
Matt Meyhu: I went into that night with a lot to gain, but also a lot to lose. What ended up happening was the perfect storm of events. What I lost… Was a whole lot of dead weight! And I gotta say, it feels great! The tag titles and this title right here only make up part of that. I am now freed up. Free to do whatever the hell I want to whoever the hell I want.
~Meyhu tosses the Savage title over the top rope, sending it crashing down to the floor below. Ezra hands him the OCW Title~
Matt Meyhu: Now, this guy right here… This is what you’re all dreaming about. This is what makes me the most sought after man in OCW! This is what I gained at SSR. No, it’s not a title. It’s not a career-defining championship. It’s fame... It’s money… And most importantly, it’s power. This is what I predicted would happen. From day one, I’ve told you all that it wouldn’t be long before I was right here.
~Meyhu smirks as Ezra applauds him~
Matt Meyhu: You now all can admit that you want to be just like me. Entitled? Lucky? Arrogant? Use whatever words you’d like to describe me. I prefer ‘better than you.’ And there’s no argument that can be made now. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been hiding under masks and hoods for the last month like Mike Zybala, or if you came within inches of tasting victory like The Incredible One… You now idolize me. Like it or not, I am the standard around here.
~Meyhu raises the title high over his head~
Matt Meyhu: This is not what you want…
~He hands the belt to Ezra and holds his arms out to the side as Ezra secures the belt around the champs waist~
Matt Meyhu: This is!
~Meyhu drops the mic at his feet and poses as “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” hits once more~
Smith: Strong words from our new champion
Hood: Normally I’d say the Savage Champ would be pissed at the way Meyhu treated their new belt but…eh, it’s Iggy.
Smith: What does that mean?
Hood: That was NOTHING compared to the hell Iggy is going to put that belt through
Smith: You might be right…anyway…
~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. Meyhu is about to exit the ring when The Distinguished’s theme drowns out his own. Ezra grabs Meyhu by the arm, keeping the champion from exiting. CJ O’Donnell appears. The crowd is on fire…they don’t like either man but they are eager to see an altercation. CJ gets halfway down the ramp, talking shit. Meyhu responds with some choice words…Ezra stays in between Meyhu and the ropes ‘prevening’ The Marvel from exiting and going after O’Donnell~
Smith: It’s CJ! We saw last week…CJ drove a stake right through Aptitude’s heart when he bashed Meyhu in the back of the head after his match
Hood: He wants that belt, Smith. And, when CJ wants something he’s gonna do EVERYTHING he can to get it. I’m just glad Ezra is there to hold Meyhu back
Smith: Oh please…Meyhu could break through if he really wanted to
Hood: I hear Ezra has phenomenal forearms
Smith: I don’t want to know why
~The crowd is chanting “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” Meyhu shakes his head ‘no’. CJ calls him a pussy~
Smith: I don’t think we’re gonna see anything tonight
Hood: Of course not! A man like Meyhu only performs in the main event behind WEEKS of promotion…he doesn’t do this impromptu bullshit. This type of shit is for people like…like…
~"Party Hard" hits the speakers and out walks Mike Zybala to the cheers of the fans. He makes a gesture to cut the music and it stops, but as he raises the mic, the fans start chanting his name. Zybala basks in the cheers for a moment before the crowd settles and he starts talking~
Zybala: Ladies, we get it. You both look very pretty tonight. That's no need to squabble.
~The fans laugh at the former friends, who are visibly annoyed at this interruption. Zybala continues~
Zybala: Now I know you both want that shiny belt that Matty Boy has, but news flash, so does everyone else in the locker room. So do I, but I'll wait my turn. New guy coming in straight to a title shot tends to piss off a lot of people. I'll wait my turn, smack a few people around in the process.
But the real reason I'm out here is to tell you all why I'm here. It's simple really. To fuck shit up and make Meyhu regret ever calling me out in that interview he did with my Rumor Mill. He said that he would want to have a feud with me, and who am I to deny him this suicidal request of his.
So I started watching OCW, scoping out the landscape, watching the Aptitude start to developed little breaking points and I thought I could push those further. A couple of hoods and glitter bombs later, plus too many oversized egos and gone is The Aptitude and here is Zybala!!
~The fans cheer as Meyhu gets visibly angry. CJ, standing at the bottom of the ramp is gritting his teeth. Meyhu yells “YOU THINK THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY? YOU THINK ATTACKING US WAS A GOOD IDEA?”~
Zybala: Why yes, yes I do.
~The crowd laughs. Meyhu is furious. CJ begins marching up the ramp, deciding to shut Zybala up the old fashioned way. Zybala smiles smugly and holds up a hand~
Zybala: Easy there guys. Before you commit career suicide, I think you should know a few things. When I was sorting out my contract here, I had few riders added in. One, if you have been a victim of my shenanigans and attack me in revenge, automatic suspension for you. Also, if you happen to be a champion, you're stripped of your title. Last, but not least, if you attack me , you cannot challenge for any titles for three months after your suspension has been lifted! While violence is okay if we are scheduled against each other, anything else is at your own risk. Gentlemen, I have a match to get ready for.
~Zybala then gives a little bow before turning back to the dressing room area. Meyhu and O'Donnell are raging over this~
Hood: That's not fair at all!! Those guys never did anything to anyone and now that jerk Zybala is messing with them out of pure spite!
Smith: Whatever the reason, Zybala has pulled a fast one over on Meyhu and O'Donnell, and not to forget Bradley Carrington as well. It will be interesting to see how things unfold.
Hood: Fuck…so, what…The Aptitude can’t touch Zybala unless it’s in a sanctioned match?
Smith: That is correct…he is, well, he’s protected by OCW management
Hood: Crooked ass management. Sign and guy and give him the world…let me guess, Zybala gets announced for the Hall of Fame next week…right? RIGHT?
Smith: That might be a little premature
Hood: Fucking hell…ten minutes in and we’re already off the rails
~CJ looks back toward Meyhu. Ezra continues at act as a shield. CJ contemplates heading toward the ring. The fans boo as OCW Security comes out and surrounds CJ. He rolls his eyes and barrels through a few security members, heading up the ramp~
Smith: Not tonight…Meyhu and CJ will have to settle things down the road
Hood: Thank goodness…the champ needs AT LEAST a month and a half to bask in the glow of being champion before we can even TALK title defense
Smith: A MONTH AND A HALF?!
Hood: Too soon? You think two months would be better?
Smith: He had better defend that belt at some point during the month of July otherwise…well…I’m going to question our booking team
Hood: Ah, yes, weak ass booking
Smith: Potentially…anyway…we’re off to a hot start…so, let’s head backstage for an update on the whereabouts of one…Jack Puffer!
~We cut backstage where EE is seated behind his desk, smiling wide. Massacre is airing on a flat screen secured tightly to his office wall. Barry Man is Low, arms folded, observes what’s just unfolded~
Barry Man is Low: CJ against Meyhu?
Eastern European: This it could be? But the one who is Incredible has say in the meantime! But what about Zybala…he great, right? He great!
Barry Man is Low: He is quite the personality
Eastern European: Ha Ha! He is the great one! I no want to wait to see his success. He fight later tonight. It will be great moment.
Barry Man is Low: Now, sir, before we get side tracked…about that credit card statement and Jack Puffer
Eastern European: Ah, yes. Detective Putter working really hard. He visited half of Western Europe already! I hope he heads east…maybe he can say hello to my family.
Barry Man is Low: That’s my point…there is no evidence to suggest Welsh is even IN Europe. In all likelihood he’s probably somewhere in Florida. This is probably a giant waste of time and money.
Eastern European: Ha ha. Don’t worry so much, Barry Man is Low. Everything be fine. Tonight a great night! Come, let’s have Gator’s Aid!
~EE grabs a couple of Gatorade bottles. One is delicious red…the other is questionably purple. He hurls the purple drink to Barry and keeps the red for himself. We cut back to the announcers~
Smith: Is there any way I can file for a motion to make Barry Man is Low our GM while Welsh is away?
Hood: Oh shut up…the Eastern European is doing a great job. He signed Mike Zybala…he inked Brooks to a full time deal and, well, look at how great Stainless Steel Ride was…this man is a genius
Smith: Yea, I don’t think so. All I know is Jack Puffer is on some pilgrimage in Europe…ALL EXPENSES PAID and, as Barry said…we all know he won’t find a thing. I wish I could be furnished a free month long vacation in Europe.
Hood: Puffer will find Welsh…wait and see, Smith. Wait and see.
Smith: Right…well, speaking of the new signings…Julliet Brooks made a huge announcement last week when she agreed to compete in OCW full time. Her Massacre debut is up next…so, let’s head on down to ringside!
~Shootah appears extra frightened this evening. He’s holding an iPad in his hand. His body shakes…it quivers…tears form in his eyes. What is he watching? Is it THE NOTEBOOK? We zoom in…nope, not the Notebook. He’s watching highlights of Julliet’s debut against Vargas~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…Shootah!!
~Shootah’s mouth drops open. He turns his head, wincing. A fan at ringside yells out “Bro, don’t break my iPad!” Shootah slowly turns his head back around, hoping the worst is over. He screams and shuts his eyes…he flings the iPad out of the ring, it clangs against the barricade. The fan is irate~
Smith: What is his problem?
Hood: I think he’s terrified of what he’s about to face…the masochist….the sadist…the deadly Julliet Brooks
Smith: That match was violent…but…you could argue she might not be in the best condition to wrestle one week removed from such a violent affair.
Hood: Dude, it’s Shootah. He couldn’t rip a sheet of paper in half.
~"Down" by Otep hits and out walks Julliet Brooks onto the stage to a chorus of cheers from the audience, simply smiling from ear to ear. Her head is bandaged, her midsection is bandaged. Several other parts of her bodies are wrapped. But, judging by her demeanor, the wounds don’t seem to bother her a bit. She walks down the ramp toward the ring. Once there she claps some fans hands at ringside then runs and slides underneath the ropes, soaking up the positive reaction. After she leans against the ropes and looks toward the entrance way, showing no intimidation toward Shootah~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Albuquerque, New Mexico…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…Julliet Brooks!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Julliet Brooks made her OCW debut one week ago at Stainless Steel Ride and what an introduction it was
Hood: She’s a fuckin psycho, man
Smith: Vargas and Brooks pushed their bodies to the physical limit in one of the most grotesque matches we’ve ever seen. If that’s a prelude for what’s to come…then the OCW career of Julliet Brooks should be very interesting
Hood: If that was a fucking prelude I’m going to need a raise
~Scruff motions for both competitors to meet in the center. Brooks has no issue complying. Shootah, on the other hand, hangs back, trembling with fear. The crowd urges him on. With a timid tremble, Shootah shuffles toward the center of the ring, bracing for the worst~
Smith: I’m not sure what Shootah is so afraid of…Brooks is a sweetheart!
Hood: Sweetheart? He’s obviously seen her match with Vargas…don’t give me that sweetheart stuff
Smith: I’ve had several interactions with Julliet and she’s a woman of class, integrity and warmth
Hood: She also threw a man onto a bed of nails seven days ago
Smith: Well, yea, there is that
~Brooks extends her hand. Shootah cowers, shielding his face. Slowly, he uncovers his eyes and sees it’s just a hand. He stands upright and slowly extends his. Shootah’s dirty, grimy hand wraps around Julliet’s normal, female looking hand. They shake. The crowd seems okay with this~
Smith: What a show of sports-woman-ship!
Hood: Ugh
Smith: What?
Hood: If you don’t already know…there’s no use in explaining
~The hand shake ends. Shootah looks at his hand…it’s not cut, bleeding, punctured…it’s perfectly fine. He starts to feel confident. Maybe the video he watched earlier was doctored. He observes the woman in front of him, she looks innocent enough. Shootah smiles and, for the first time in months, looks ready to compete~
Smith: You see? She’s not so bad
Hood: She’s like that fucking dinosaur from Jurassic Park…wait and see
Smith: The T-Rex?
Hood: Not the T-Rex you fucking idiot. Does she look like a damn T-Rex? The stupid one with the black spit…it looked all nice and harmless and then BAM…you’re dead
Smith: Ha, I think you’re way off base
~Shootah looks ready to try his first lock up. Before he can move toward Julliet she springs forward with a knee into Shootah’s chin!!! Shootah staggers into the ropes…he ricochets off…Brooks catches him and cracks spine over her knee with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker!! Shootah hits the mat wailing in pain~
Hood: I told you!
Smith: Well, to be fair, she did give Shootah ample time to put some offense in
Hood: She suckered him in…and then tried to kill him!
Smith: Now that’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?
Hood: No, he’s Shootah. Wind speeds of 20mph can blow him away
~Brooks, the aggressor, snares Shootah by the hair. She pulls him into a kneeling position. She steps back, facing Shootah and sprints forward with a Shining Wizard into the side of Shootah’s head!! The inept porn director falls to the mat, unmoving. The fans are firmly behind Brooks, digging her aggressive behavior~
Smith: Listen to these fans! They love Julliet Brooks!
Hood: Always a clear indicator on who NOT to cheer for
Smith: The masses can’t be wrong, Hood
Hood: Oh yes they can
~Brooks, again, snares Shootah by the hair. She pulls him to his feet. Surprisingly, he’s able to maintain a vertical base for the necessary length of time. Brooks, facing Shootah sort of winds her body up…she then jumps to the side and DRILLS Shootah in the head with a Butterfly Kick!! Shootah falls to the mat, ending up on his back. Brooks goes for the pin as the crowd pops for the move~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…JULLIET BROOKS!!!!!
Smith: She calls that Butterfly Effect…what a move!
Hood: Oh, so she’s got two finishers
Smith: Yes, as do most wrestlers…so nothing to hold against her. I’m assuming given the damage to her midsection she thought Butterfly Effect would be the wiser move this evening
Hood: Well, whatever the case she beat the shit out of Shootah
Smith: Indeed…what a Massacre debut for Julliet Brooks…I can’t wait to see where she goes from here!
Hood: I’m sure some type of death match is forthcoming
Smith: Ah, sounds interesting
Hood: Right
Smith: Well that’s one monumental Massacre debut down…our next one will take place shortly as Mike Zybala…a man OCW has been anxious to sign for YEARS makes his Massacre debut. However, before we can get to that…let’s head backstage!
~In a dressing room somewhere in the confines of the OCW arena sits Hall of Famer, Curt Canon. Dejected. Still feeling the effects from his loss suffered at the hands of CJ O’Donnell. Not only did Canon lose the match, but more importantly, he lost his confidant, his best buddy, the loving little monkey affectionately known as Checkers. Canon is jolted from his daydream by his door flinging open. He jumps off his seat ready for a fight. In walks Chad Vargas.~
Vargas: Whoa, whoa! Easy champ. Curt fucking Canon… In the flesh.
Canon: I’m really not in the mood today Chad, please don't piss me off.
Vargas: I’m not here to make any trouble, hoss. I was really pulling for you last week inside that prison. Anyone who’s anyone knows I despise CJ O’Donnell. You may have lost the match, but you are 10 times the competitor he will ever be.
~Curt relaxes his body, and takes a deep breath in he calmly sits back down.~
Canon: Maybe if you said that five years ago I would have believed it. Now I don’t even know what I am doing here.
Vargas: I know the biggest kick in the balls is losing your little buddy Checkers. But that’s actually the reason I swung by tonight…
~Vargas turns his head and kicks open the slightly ajar door. A nameless OCW worker walks in and hands Vargas a leash. Vargas tugs on the leash and in walks a walker hound dog. A very old, and tired walker hound dog to say the least. Vargas gives the leash another tug, the hound comes in sniffing the ground ever so slowly. Canon looks at the dog not knowing what to think. The dog walks a couple inches away from Canon’s feet and begins howling.~
Canon: Well I’m glad one of us still has loving pet to take walks with and tell their problems to.
Vargas: Well hoss, that ole boy there is Jake. He’s tree’d many of coon in his day.
~Canon looks at Vargas weirdly, not understanding.~
Vargas: ...He’s my most trusty hunting dog. Jake’s been in my family 15 years.
~Canon gives another look at Vargas then down to the dog, perhaps wondering “why the hell would he give me a dog days away from needing euthanization?”~
Canon: Gee, thanks ….I think. I mean I guess it will be nice to have another being around to be miserable and close to death with.
Vargas: Well, Canon! I hope this helps you! You take care of old Jake there, and he will take care of you!
~Vargas hands the leash to Canon who reluctantly takes a hold of it. Vargas smiles as he turns to walk out the door, but in the doorway stands the face of… a donkey?! Vargas backs up, wide-eyed, as the donkey slowly trots into the room. The camera pans up to show that riding the fearless steed and ducking to avoid hitting his head on the door frame is none other than one-half of the NEW OCW Tag Team Champions, “Marvelous” Mario Maurako, to a pop from the fans in attendance! Mario rides in, his Tag Team Title belt on his shoulder, and looks back and forth between Canon and Vargas before jumping down.~
Maurako: Canon ol’ pal I’ve brought- Wait…. Where did you get that hound dog? Vargas?
~Mario looks at Vargas disapprovingly and then back at Canon and then flashes a smile.~
Maurako: Not that there is anything wrong with ol’ blue there but when I saw you lose Checkers I knew the most ‘Marvelous’ gift that would certainly cheer you up.
~Mario pulls on the reigns of the donkey walking him right up to Canon.~
Maurako: Curt, meet your new pal… Ceej! I’ll warn you though… he comes with a trigger word. Wait just a second.
~Mario puts a pair of noise canceling earmuffs on Ceej the donkey. After making sure they are on nice and tight he turns back to Canon.~
Maurako: It’s “Checkmate.” Don’t say it to him… he will act like a complete jackass. So man, what do you think?
~Canon tries his best to look appreciative as Jake the dog and Ceej the donkey share tired eyes with the OCW Hall of Famer.~
Canon: Thanks a lot, guys, but I’m not sure anything can fill the Checkers-sized hole in my heart.
~Mario and Vargas exchange a puzzled look as if trying to figure out how anyone could not be excited about a broken-down hound and a certified ass. Suddenly, the door swings open once again, as the remaining half of the NEW OCW Tag Team Champions, “Perfect” Paul Paras, saunters in, again earning a pop from the crowd watching in the arena. Paras smiles slightly, proudly wearing his Tag Team Title belt over his dress clothes.~
Paras: Gentlemen… Dog… O’Donnell. How are we all feeling tonight? More importantly, how are we all feeling after Stainless Steel Ride?! The titles are back home, Aptitude is a fleeting memory, and we proved to the world that OCW was built by legends, and legends will continue to build OCW. Best night in prison I’ve ever had, far and away.
~Mario high-fives his partner with all the gusto of the year 2000. Vargas crosses his arms and relives the torture he put Julliet Brooks through last week, smiling widely. Canon appears despondent while Jake the dog appears to be asleep on Canon’s foot. The donkey brays, obviously offended to be compared to CJ O’Donnell. ~
Canon: Paul, I don’t really want to talk about that. Come on, you’re like some sort of zen magic yoga mind reader, right? You saw what happened to poor Checkers. And now, I’m not sure what my purpose is in OCW anymore if I can’t even protect my monkey, let alone beat Caleb James O’Donnell.
~Paras places a thoughtful hand on his chin.~
Paras: That is a rather difficult one. A man must always protect his monkey, we can all agree.
~Vargas and Maurako nod knowingly, as do most of the males in the audience.~
Paras: However, Brother Canon, this is not a problem, only a solution still awaiting discovery. The Perfect One sees your struggle, and he sees what you lack in this moment of your existence…
Canon: Hold on. Please tell me it’s not another animal. No offense, guys, but it’s starting to smell in here.
~The Minnesota Messiah narrows his eyes and motions with his head subtly toward Mario. Maurako opens the door slightly and kicks his leg out the door, resulting in what sounds like a cart rolling down the hallway, a metal cage crashing against a wall, and a cat screeching and hissing in anger. Paras maintains his stoic gaze during all of the commotion while Mario re-closes the door.~
Paras: Of course not.
~Paul walks over to the lockers against the wall and cracks one with his forearm, opening it instantly without use of a combination, much like the Fonz, if the Fonz were, in fact, perfect. Paras reaches into the locker and produces a small, gift-wrapped object that looks exactly like the shape of a DVD case. He hands it to Curt. Canon hesitates, then quickly unwraps it to reveal, shockingly, a DVD!~
Paras: That, my friend, is Triple P Yoga Volumes 1 and 2. A collection of perfection for the mind, body, and spirit the likes you’ve never experienced before. For one cannot learn to take control of one’s life without first shaking it to its core. The Perfect One sees that you do not lack athleticism or motivation or presence of mind…
~The Zen Master reaches back into the locker and takes out four cans of cold Minnesota craft beer, perfectly tossing the first three to Canon, Vargas, and Maurako and opening the fourth for himself.~
Paras: Brother Canon, you only lack perspective. You are a Hall of Famer in this company. You’re a former World Champion. And at the ludicrously-named Stainless Steel Ride, you took Conrad Jeremy O’Donnell to the limit. Have a look around you. In this very room, you have four men, a dog, and a donkey, and every last one of us knows that you deserve to be here in OCW. We all know a thing or two about being down on our luck, and we’ve all lost many things we cannot replace...
~Maurako and Vargas appear reflective while Canon nods with his eyes to the floor.~
Paras: …But there is still so much to do… so we fight on. We fight. And we win.
Vargas: Damn straight.
Maurako: You better believe it.
Canon: Huh.
~He looks around the room at fellow legends, animal companions, yoga, and beer… all of life’s essentials.~
Canon: You know what? You’re right. This DareDevil isn’t done yet. I was voted into the Hall of Fame, and I’m gonna make sure everyone who voted for me remembers why!
~Paul raises his beer to the room full of Hall of Famers and World Champions. One by one, they do the same, ending with Curt Canon, who reaches down to pet ol’ Jake, pats Ceej the donkey on the head, then cracks open his beer.~
Canon: Just like Checkers would want!
~The four men toast and drink as the OCW fans go wild. We cut back to ringside for our next contest.~
Smith: That was great to see...I know Curt took last week's loss hard. A man of his status, struggling like he has in recent weeks...it's hard to grasp hold of, emotionally
Hood: Okay Sigmund fucking Freud...we all appreciate your rudimentary diagnosis but, hey, let's be honest here. Everybody is finally starting to realize that CJ runs this place and is a future legend among legends!
Smith: He has had tremendous success in 2017...but a tough road awaits. If you push aside his troubles with Meyhu and TIO...you still have the Margarita Mix...has CJ spread himself too thin?
Hood: I don't think so...I saw him eating a pizza backstage earlier today
Smith: NOT LITERALLY...ugh, whatever, it's no use. Let's head to ringside for the most anticipated debut in quite some time...Mike Zybala is in action, next!
Mike Zybala (0-0) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
~C Level Porn Director John E Depth is walking around the ring, holding a sign in the air. It says ‘JUSTICE’. He heads toward the camera, bending forward with his aviator shades taking up most of the lens, “I SEEK JUSTICE. Stainless Steel Ride? That was the title for my next flick! Seems like the least OCW could do was put me on the card if they were going to steal my name! JUSTICE!~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…he was recently downgraded from a B Level Porn Director to a C Level Porn Director…I give you…John E Depth!!!
~Depth is irate. He gets up in Belvedere’s stache, hurling insults at the always composed announcer. Fans boo at Depth. He doesn’t care…he’s a porn director, after all…man has no shame. “Party Hard” by Andrew WK hits…the crowd loses their shit! Mike Zybala emerges from behind the curtain. Depth stops arguing…the noise level throws him off. He perks up and looks toward the ramp…Zybala enjoys his theme...it’s upbeat…it’s good music to fire up to~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Buffalo, New York…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 175lbs…he is currently HOODLESS…please welcome to OCW…Mike Zybala!!!
~As Zybala is walking down the ramp towards the ring, he looks at the announce table and walks over. He looks at Smith and Hood for a moment before going behind the table and moving them from their chairs~
Smith: What the...???
Hood: We use those for sitting asshole!!
~Zybala takes the two folded chairs and throw them at the side of the ramp. He then makes a gesture towards the back and two backstage staffers walk out, both with nice looking armchairs on wheels. They bring them to the announce table and Zybala gives them a thumbs up. He motions for Hood and Smith to sit down. Once their seated, Zybala heads to the ring~
Smith: These are really comfy.
Hood: Comfy nothing. This is like a dream compared to those pieces of crap we used to sit on. Zybala truly is a hero among men.
Smith: Weren't you saying earlier that you hoped Meyhu and O'Donnell would kick his ass?
Hood: I say a lot of things. But hear me when I say this…he is a HERO AMONG MEN!
~Once inside the ring, Zybala nods that he’s read. The bell sounds~
Smith: I’m very excited about this match
Hood: Yea, I heard John E Depth has been training hard…no pun intended!
Smith: I couldn’t care less about Depth…I’m speaking about the Zybala debut!
Hood: Oh, yea, the Ted Kaczynski wannabe
Smith: Ugh
~Depth walks up to Zybala showing very little concern. He shoves the sign in Zybala’s face…Zybala snares the sign and rips it down the middle. Depth staggers back, surprised. Zybala looks Depth in the eye and asks a simple question, “Do you remember me?”~
Smith: These two apparently have a history I dare not go into
Hood: Why, is it really boring like that American history gobbledy gook they tried to teach me in school?
Smith: No…it’s salacious…not for the ears of our audience
Hood: Dude, Depth is a PORN director…advertised and promoted as such…let’s hear it!
Smith: I refuse to defile my announcing standards discussing such filth
~Depth shakes his head ‘no’ and laughs. Zybala spots a super sexy female fan in the front row and then motions for Depth to come closer. Depth does. Zybala points down…Depth looks down…Zybala then pulls the front elastic portion of his pants out, displaying his crotch for only Depth to see. Depth suddenly staggers back, into the ropes. His eyes are widened and he points at Zybala “YOU!” he says~
Smith: Oh my goodness
Hood: John E Depth looks like he’s seen a ghost…a ghost from his past!
Smith: That’s one way of putting it
~Zybala rushes forward and knees Depth in the gut!! Depth doubles over…Zybala whips him off the rope…Depth sprints across the ring, nearly slipping to the ground on part of his sign. Scruff hurries over to move the torn sign out of the ring and harm’s way. Zybala performs a 360 clockwise spin toward the incoming Depth and BACKHANDS Depth across the face!!! Depth falls to the mat, holding his face and writhing with pain~
Smith: That is an effective slap…probably the most effective slap in OCW history. Zybala calls it Where’s My Money?!
Hood: I don’t know, we’ve seen some pretty hardcore slaps
Smith: Yes, but that slap might be the most hardcore
Hood: I’ll have to get Harold the Historian out here
Smith: Not for that! It’s just a slap…why we’ve carried the discussion this far I cannot fathom
Hood: Stainless Steel Ride was just one week ago…we’re all still a little delirious
~Zybala drops to one knee and grabs Depth’s head. He begins to punch away. He delivers straight right hands into Depth’s forehead with the crowd counting along. They read 9…10…he keeps going…11…he rears back and delivers the strongest punch yet for a resounding TWELVE~
Smith: I can’t believe I’m going to say this…but I believe that was one punch for every twelve inches of…
Hood: Dildo?
Smith: Thank you…twelve inches of humiliation Depth used in making the mock porn movie
Hood: I’ll go ahead and say it…don’t fuck with Zybala. The man is like an elephant
Smith: He never forgets
Hood: I was gonna say he’s got a dick like an elephant trunk but, yea, sure, we’ll go with yours!
~Zybala pulls Depth up. He yells for Depth to come at him. Depth is punch drunk. He’s going on instinct. He throws a wild punch that missed. Zybala lets his guard down, finding Depth’s actions comical. Depth then, accidentally hits Zybala with a back elbow on the ‘follow through’ of his wild haymaker. He feels around, finding Zybala’s head…he hooks him for a suplex. Depth tries to execute the suplex, but Zybala blocks. Depth tries again, but is once again blocked. Zybala then lifts up Depth with his own suplex attempt and drops him down with a brain buster. Zybala doesn't go for the pin, but basks in the cheers from the fans~
Smith: Well, so far this match has mostly been all Zybala. I think we might be nearing th.... For God sake Hood wake up!
Hood: grrrmmm, I wasn't sleeping. I was just enjoying the chair.
Smith: You were drooling!
~Depth slowly gets to his feet with Zybala watching and waiting. As soon as Depth is standing, Zybala knocks him back down with a Superkick. He goes for a pin but stops and smacks himself in the forehead as if he forgot something. Zybala rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic, and goes back in. He walks to Scruff and puts his arm around their shoulders~
Zybala: I just want to thank you for not only all your hard work, not only calling this match fair, but also being the ref for my very first OCW match. I got you a little something. Tell him what he's won Jimmy!!
~Zybala points at the big screen and we see a picture of a beautiful beach side hotel and resort~
Jimmy: ~over the speakers~ Well Mike, Scruff, is going to enjoy a five day, six night vacation in beautiful Hawaii!! You and a guest are going....
~As Jimmy rambles off the specifics Price is Right style, Zybala slips out of the ring as Scruff is distracted. He rummages under the ring before pulling something out~
Smith: Is that what I think it is? Please tell me I'm wrong.
Hood: Nope. You're right. It's the dildo bat from Saints Row. I hope this doesn't get too weird.
~Zybala goes back to the ring and sees Depth back on his feet. Zybala hits him in the stomach with the dildo bat and Depth doubles over. Zybala stands him straight up then bounces off the ropes and comes back with a 360 spin and smashes the bat into the face of Depth! Depth crashes to the mat and Zybala rolls the bat out of the ring. He then taps Scruff on the shoulder and says he wants to pin Depth. Scruff turns around and Zybala covers Depth~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings and Zybala gets his hand raised in victory~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MIKE ZYBALA!!!!!
~Zybala lifts Depth and puts him on his shoulders. Zybala heaves Depth up and brings the back off Depth's head crashing to his knee. Zybala then leaves the ring with a satisfied smile on his face as EMTs run to the ring.~
Smith: Total destruction…John E Depth might be sipping food from a straw!
Hood: Might not be a bad way to live
Smith: I disagree, strongly.
Hood: I don’t know man…sitting in these chairs…sipping food through a straw…fuck…all that’s left is a flat screen TV with premium cable and a hooker from Craig’s List in a French Maid outfit
Smith: I guess we all have our personal view of heaven. Regardless..Zybala looked strong. His personality…his ability…it’s a perfect fit for OCW
Hood: I can’t argue with any of that…man is going to be huge!
Smith: It appears so…anyway, let’s head backstage as we continue to move along in this post Stainless Steel Ride edition of Massacre
~We cut backstage. EE is looking down at the Savage Championship. Barry Man is Low is by the door, looking through a peep hole~
Eastern European: Title look okay. It tough. Made of real metal.
Barry is Man Low: Wait…I hear something
~Barry’s eyes widen. A loud SCREAM sounds off in the distance, muffled by the door. It grows louder and louder and louder…finally Barry jumps back and pulls the door open. IGGY HARDY sprints into EE’s office. He comes to an amazing stop, right in front of EE’s desk. He’s got a pair of ultra-short, athletic shorts on and nothing else. His ripped upper body is pulsating. His rapid breath fills the office with roided humidity. His wide eyes looks over at EE~
Iggy Hardy: You wanted to FUCKING see me?
~Fearful he might be murdered, EE looks over at Barry and waves him closer. Barry slides around Iggy’s body, trying not to draw the madman’s attention. Once near EE he seeks instruction. EE points at the Savage title and pantomimes an act where Barry gives Iggy the belt~
Barry Man is Low: Oh, but sir, I think that honor should go to our acting GM
Eastern European: Ha ha, Barry Man is Low is mr joke man tonight! I pay you extra money if you do this for me, Barry Man is Low. You head of security…come on!
~Barry sighs. He grabs the Savage Championship and, with shaky arms, extends it toward Iggy. Iggy stares at the belt…he tilts his head like a curious predator. He suddenly SNARES the belt and roars! It feels as though the walls inside EE’s office shake. Iggy then turns around and sprints out of the office. In an attempt to not be totally rude, Iggy tries to shut the door on his way out…however, due to his ridiculous strength and momentum, he merely rips the door off its hinges. Iggy screams all the way down the hall until the distance is too great for his voice to overcome. Barry breathes a sigh of relief as EE stares at the door~
Eastern European: Look what you do Barry! You break door! Call Knife Man…we fix this ASIP!
Barry Man is Low: Yea, sure, no problem
~With Iggy out of sight, Barry is relieved and happy to do anything asked of him. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: That’s one way to give a guy his belt
Hood: Was like feeding a Velociraptor
Smith: A lot of Jurassic Park references tonight
Hood: Great fucking move
Smith: I won’t argue that…regardless…Iggy is our new Savage Champion and, well, I think it’s a perfect fit
Hood: Works for me
Smith: Anyway…it’s time for our next match as TONY THE SPIDER makes his return to the ring…he will take on the undefeated newcomer, Tyler Michelson…let’s head down to ringside
Tony the Spider (3-3) vs. Tyler Michelson (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is schedule for one fall!!
~Money hits the loud speakers and Tyler saunters out from the back and arrogantly shouts at the crowd. He makes his way to the ring taking his time pointing to himself arrogantly.. He climbs into the ring with an air of contempt and arrogance~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 236lbs…Tyler Michelson!!!
~The OCW Arena quiets down. Smoke begins to fill the entrance way. “Jump” by Van Halen begins to play. The crowd rises to their feet…they start to throw their heads around to the music. A tiny, round silhouette steps through the smoke. He’s got his circular shades on…his mullet is FULL FORCE and his bright yellow shirt is bright AND yellow. He’s got spandex black shorts on. But, even more impressive, a yellow fanny pack is secured tightly around his waist. He bobs his head like a rooster to the music as he marches to the ring. He slaps hands with fans as a “TONY” chant begins~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Emelio’s Backyard…standing 5’6 and weighing in at a stout 155lbs…Tony the Spider!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: And the always entertaining Tony the Spider returns to take on undefeated Tyler Michelson
Hood: Should we really call someone who’s one and fucking zero undefeated?
Smith: Well, technically, he is undefeated
Hood: Yea, but he’s wrestled one match and it was against Puffer or Depth or one of those clowns
Smith: Still, the label fits
~The arena is consumed with chants for TONY. His mullet rocks along with his head…the chants inspire the aging, expanding, anachronistic man to laugh. “HAHAHAHAHA” belts Tony. Tyler Michelson shakes his head. He’s bigger…in way better shape…by far the better aesthetic prospect. And, he’s UNDEFEATED. Why should he have to deal with Tony?~
Smith: I’m not sure Tyler Michelson envisioned THIS when he signed with OCW
Hood: Well then he needs glasses
Smith: And why is that, exactly
Hood: Because…we’ve always had guys like Tony running around. CLASSIC OCW, BABY
~Michelson approaches Tony. He stands with his chest almost eye level to Tony’s round, goofy looking shades. Tony laughs. Michelson reaches down and aggressively rubs Tony’s mullet. Tony continues to laugh. Michelson looks down at his diminutive opponent and frowns with disgust~
Smith: Well, if he’s such an embarrassment and so beneath you…why don’t you finish the job?
Hood: He doesn’t want to be a dick, Smith. You never hit a man while he’s laughing
Smith: Really?
Hood: Yes, really. It’s a dick move
Smith: Can you hit a man when he’s crying?
Hood: You ALWAYS hit a man when he’s crying. Gets him to man the fuck up!
~Michelson turns his back to Tony and yells out something about the humiliation of having to face a backyard wrestler. Tony reaches for his fanny pack. The fans boo Michelson. It only fuels his argument as he continues to complain. Tony unzips his fanny pack. Michelson declares that he’s UNDEFEATED and should be in the main event for a shot at the Ascension Championship. Tony reaches into his fanny pack~
Smith: He’d better turn around and focus on his opponent
Hood: Is Tony reaching for a Cheeto?
Smith: Don’t be ridiculous
Hood: You’re right, excuse me. Is Tony reaching for a FLAMIN HOT CHEETO?
~Michelson throws his hands at the crowd. He’s done pleading his case. He turns around. Tony pulls his hand out of his fanny pack. Michelson faces Tony. Tony winds up and DRILLS Tyler in the face!! Tyler falls to the mat, motionless. Tony puts his hand back inside his fanny pack and zips it up. He goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd goes wild~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…TONY THE SPIDER!!!!!
Smith: Tony the Spider bounces back with a surprising win!
Hood: We need to drug test that fanny pack!
Smith: That fanny pack is not on drugs
Hood: I think it might be. That might be an enhanced fanny pack!
Smith: Whatever resides WITHIN the pack appears to enhance Tony’s performance…I’ll agree with that.
Hood: Nah, the fanny pack is doping…I can feel it
Smith: I think your senses are off. Regardless…Tony with a huge win…a much needed boost in his return to the ring.
~“Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers blares through the speakers. The ringside area is clear. Both Tony and Michelson are already in the back. The crowd begins to cheer as Mack O’Connor walks through the curtain. He wears a typical outfit: Jeans, black shirt, with a leather jacket. He gives the cheering fans a few small nods and casual waves to acknowledge them. He slides into the ring and raises his hand to call for a microphone. A stage hand ringside obliges, and Mack catches it with his open hand~
~He slowly paces around the ring for a moment with a smile. He gives a nod to the fans and opens his mouth~
Mack: Let’s just get right to it. So we all know it… We’re coming off one of the biggest shows the OCW has ever seen. Power has shifted… Pieces have been moved… In simpler words, shit is going down. We have a new World Champion in Matt Meyhu. Meyhu, the only man who was able to pin me in a one on one match, and only able to do so because of Bradley Carrington, who I just defeated last week. So why is Meyhu the champion? Well, we all know why.
~The crowd, unsure of how to respond, murmurs amongst themselves for a moment. Mack waits a moment, then continues~
Mack: Regardless… I called it as I saw it, and now what I said will come to fruition… I beat CJ O’Donnell. I beat Bradley Carrington. I will facing Tartare soon, and I’ll officially take the Paradigm Title from him. Then, I’ll move on to Meyhu and once again wear that OCW Title around my waist.
~A bit of the crowd cheers~
Mack: But that’s neither here or there. I’m here to announce the two divisions for the Jimmy Buffet Margarita Mix!
~The crowd explodes in cheers. Mack smiles~
Mack: That’s right… So let’s get to it. So for the first division… Which I will call the “Parrot Head Divison.” The competitors in this division will be: Lukas Emery, Madyson Carter, Josie Barnes, CJ O’Donnell, and Chad Vargas.
~The crowd lets out a cheer for the first division~
Mack: And for the second division… Which we will call the “Landshark Divison.” The competitors in this division will be: Mark Storm, Levi Russow, Bob Grenier, PerZag, and yours truly.
~Another round of cheers. Mack takes a flask out of his jacket, twists the cap off, and raises it in the air~
Mack: Here’s to the summer competition. Cheers!
~The crowd cheers as Mack takes a swig from the flask and raises it as a toast in the air. “Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits again. Mack slides out of the ring and walks up the ramp to the back~
Smith: The Margarita Mix begins next week! It’s going to be a grind…but the winner will be richly rewarded
Hood: I can’t wait…those divisions are actually pretty even
Smith: Mack is a man who loves competition
Hood: Yea, I was wondering how he’d go about this…personally, I would have made my division really weak
Smith: Well you are no Mack O’Connor
Hood: You’re right about that…I have hair
Smith: Those divisions are about as even as you could make them which means this round robin tournament is going to be an all-out battle…a brawl…the two division winners will have truly earned their spot
Hood: No fucking doubt
Smith: Well, the ring is cleared so that means it’s time for our next match!
Hood: Oh sweet…who we got?
Smith: Tiffany Prada is taking on Paris…two newcomers with 1-0 records
Hood: And two of the best asses in the business!
Smith: Let’s head down to ringside
Paris (1-0) vs. Tiffany Prada (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~As the arena goes dark The lights in the arena begin to dim, before a strobe light flashes, quickly changing through multiple, bright and dazzling colors. The stadium suddenly appears as if it's transformed into a night club, as a steady trance beats flows through the speakers. Gimme More" By Britney Spears System as words appear on the screen in brilliant, shimmering gold -- "It's not personal... it's just business." These fade out, replaced by another phrase in sparkling silver -- "I ALWAYS get what I want!!" The fans are already showing their hate as the lyrics slowly come through--~
(And I just want to dance with you)
~Golden sparks begin to rain down over the stage... before the stage begins to shift. The center of the stage separates, and a platform rises from below... Paris rests on her side, upon an elegant bed. She wears a fancy, fashionable robe, made of golden lace, with a golden cowl. Faith stands behind her, waving a giant, royal fan in her direction. Paris is surrounded by small, marble pillars. From the pillars hang a banner, made from the finest parchment, proclaiming 'Your Goddess Has Arrived'. The beat intensifies, as the voice rings out once again~
Gimme, Gimme more, Gimme, More Gimme, Gimme, More
Gimme, Gimme more Gimme, More Gimme, Gimme, More
Gimme, Gimme more Gimme, MoreGimme, Gimme, More"
~Paris rises from the bed, lifting her hands out to the fans, to an overwhelmingly negative reaction here. The platform descends, and the pair make their way down the ramp, as the golden sparks continue to shower down upon the stage. Faith waves toward the OCW faithful, who respond with nothing but 100%, pure hatred. Paris throws her shoulders back, before acting as if she's going to kiss a young fan. But the self-proclaimed 'Greek Goddess' pulls away at the last second, leaving the fan to curse at her and later write it down in his feelings journal. She then walks toward the ring steps, taking her time to raise her hand to the fans, cuz the face ain't listening. She orders Faith to hold the middle rope down, which she does, and Paris steps through... Paris stands tall in the center of the ring, blowing a kiss out wiggles her Fingers as she waves to Crowd to the fans, before smiling egotistically to herself~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Mykonos, Greece…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 118lbs…Paris!!!
~ “I Get Off” by Halestorm begins to play. The crowd gives a positive response. Tiffany Prada appears from behind the curtain. She appears confident and ready to go. She heads down the ramp towards the arrogant Paris. Prada marches up the steps and enters through the ropes~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from St Paul, Minnesota…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 123lbs…Tiffany Prada!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Alright Hood…interesting matchup…Tiffany Prada and Paris both won their openers
Hood: Okay, nothing out of the ordinary
Smith: True…now they face one another…the winner is sure to move up whereas the loser will likely struggle for success in OCW
Hood: Yea, it’s not impossible to rebound from an early loss but most people never do
~Prada catches a whiff of the arrogance simmering off of Paris. She talks trash across the ring at the haughty red head. Paris casts a condescending gaze, motioning for Prada to exit the ring. Prada emits an offended chuckle. Her face reddens as she continues to hurl insults at her opponent~
Smith: Prada is getting really worked up…no doubt about it…Paris is getting under her skin
Hood: Yea…I mean mind games are cool and all…if you can back it up
Smith: Indeed…otherwise they might blow up in your face
Hood: Paris is hot though…as is Prada…maybe we’ll get lucky and their eventual brawl will turn into a make out session
Smith: Don’t be such a pig!
~Paris is irked. She can’t believe Prada won’t leave her ring. So, Paris sighs and relents, heading Prada’s way, realizing she’s going to have to use force to defeat her irascible opponent. Paris gets within striking distance of Prada and, once more, demands that she exits. Prada shakes her head, staring at the ground~
Smith: Tiffany Prada cannot believe the audacity of this woman and neither can I
Hood: Hey, she’s a pacifist, alright? She’s just trying to end things in a nonviolent manner
Smith: She’s belittling Tiffany Prada!
Hood: If Paris were a world leader…imagine how peaceful things would be
Smith: I strongly disagree
~Paris suddenly slaps Prada across the face! The smack echoes throughout the OCW Arena. Prada’s face is violently jerked to her left…a good portion of her hair rests upon her nose and forehead. She slowly reaches up and slides the hair away. A giant, red hand is visible on her right cheek~
Smith: What disrespect
Hood: Seriously? Prada had an opportunity to respectfully surrender in a peaceful manner…but NOOOO she just has to get violent.
Smith: What are you talking about? Paris slapped Prada!
Hood: Only after Prada made it very clear that she was in no mood for peace
~Prada grits her teeth and lunges forward with a forearm strike into Paris’ chin!! Paris staggers back…Prada hits her again and again and again…Paris falters into a corner, stunned by the voracity of the strikes. Prada lifts a few knees into the abdomen of Paris, doubling her over~
Smith: Paris asked for this
Hood: No she didn’t, she asked for peace! You know the French, they hate to fight
Smith: She’s Greek
Hood: No way, her name is Paris…not Athena
Smith: Paris was the name of a character in Greek Mythology
Hood: What? That doesn’t make any sense
Smith: You should probably read more
~Prada efficiently hooks Paris and lifts her up, out of the corner, into the air. Prada drops Paris onto the mat, near the center with a suplex. Paris sits up, holding her back in pain. Prada is quick to her feet. She sprints into the ropes, bounces off and dives at Pars, driving a forearm into the face of Paris!! Paris falls back, hitting the mat roughly. She holds her face in pain as the fans get behind Prada~
Smith: Quick offense by Tiffany Prada…if Paris doesn’t get something going she’s going to lose this match before it ever really began
Hood: I think we should give Paris the Nobel Peace Prize
Smith: What for?
Hood: For attempting to resolve this match in a peaceful manner. Of course, Prada fucked it all up but, hey, sometimes you can’t reason with trash
Smith: Prada is FAR from trash…she’s a sophisticated athlete who showed up tonight ready to compete
~Prada spots Paris moving and stands back, poised. Paris staggers to her feet. Prada delivers a dropkick to the legs of Paris, dropping the arrogant female to her knees. Prada pops back up…takes a few steps back and springs forward with a Shining Wizard into the head of Paris!! Paris collapses to the mat…Prada goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings, the crowd gives a strong ovation~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…TIFFANY PRADA!!!!!
Smith: What a win for Tiffany Prada…she dismantled…destroyed Paris!
Hood: Violence prevails…are you happy, huh?
Smith: I’m happy the right person won
Hood: Pssh, far from it…Paris has marketability…she’s got charisma…and now what…what do we do with her now, huh?
Smith: I haven’t the slightest…I just know Tiffany put in a lot of hard work this week and it paid off…so good for her!
Hood: Blah
~The crowd is buzzing, awaiting the next event of the night to unfold when the lights in the arena go out. The large screen at the top of the ramp lights up, and we see a man training in a wrestling ring. Disturbed’s “The Sound of Silence” begins to play as we begin to see montage of wrestling moments, the man steps out of the darkness to reveal he is the Incredible One, as the crowd cheers. Once the singing begins, the montage starts showing TIO’s debut in OCW way back in February 2014. It shows him demanding what he wants, and immediately attacking former OCW alumni Brianna Casablancas. It highlights their 2014 feud of the year and finally their 2014 match of the year at Blackout 2. A few stills shows the Family, which consisted of himself, Mario Maurako, Roach and Sean Fuller~
~Then the video focuses on TIO’s on-and-off relationship with OCW Hall of Famer MJ Bell, to a big reaction. It starts with the two meeting for the first time, to their battle against each other with the Family and the all-female team opposing them. After showing their first kiss, the feud between the two of them and Mia Stone is shown leading up to the Clash of Coast, including shots of TIO whipping Mia Stone and trying to strip MJ Bell, leading to a mixed reaction. It then shows MJ Bell helping TIO win the OCW Central Championship for the second time. It shows a brief time when TIO was injured and was the OCW General Manager, where he awarded PerZag a title and tried to influence the match outcome to crown the first OCW Championship match of 2014~
~A clock shows up and time speeds up to January 2017. Three years passed, and after a brief but very controversial 2015 showing, TIO was brought back by Marcus Welsh and Eastern European. It showcases TIO’s absolute dominance of the main roster, becoming OCW Paradigm Champion, and beating Chad Vargas twice, Rebel, and MJ Bell to earn a shot at the OCW Championship. It shows the formation of the Aptitude, to loud boos, with former Boardwalk colleagues’ “Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell and “Marvel” Matt Meyhu and later “The Professor” Bradley Carrington. The video continues, showing the groups dominance, going a combined 42-4 before the events of Stainless Steel Ride. The feud between Meyhu and TIO is shown leading up to the big event, with the crowd showing respect for TIO’s decisions in the feud and the emergence of his family. It finally shows the match, where he just comes up short, but is embraced by his family. “The Sound of Silence” ends, with the word “INCREDIBLE” coming up on the screen on last time, as the arena goes dark again, with cheers from the crowd~
Smith: Wow, what a montage. Before now, I hated TIO just like most, but no one can deny his in-ring ability and what he has accomplished in OCW. He is an outstanding OCW wrestler who deserves this honor.
Hood: Meh, yeah, he was great in the ring, but this rocky relationship with the Aptitude is going to bite him, that’s for sure. Thank god Meyhu won – a true champion!
~A spotlight shines on the top of the ramp as “Ten Thousand Fists” by Disturbed begins to play. As the words “SURVIVOR!” is shouted throughout the arena, the Incredible One comes walking out to the stage, as the crowd cheers for him. TIO waits for a moment, before the rest of his family comes walking out; his daughter Jenna and her mother, Leslie~
Belvedere: Please welcome to the ring at this time… the current OCW Paradigm Champion and the newest member of the OCW Hall of Fame… THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!
~The crowd pops heavy as TIO escorts the two women in his life down the ramp before climbing a turnbuckle and raising his fist as the chorus to his new theme song play. Camera’s flash from the crowd, blinding for a moment, before TIO comes down and hoists the ropes so Jenna and Leslie can join him in the ring. TIO takes the microphone from Belvedere after shaking his hand, as Belvedere leaves. TIO goes to the middle of the ring, as his new music dies down. A large “TIO” chant begins as TIO nods in acknowledgment. Jenna and Leslie are clapping with the crowd, as TIO raises the mic to his mouth~
TIO: This past month has been one – crazy ride, that I never thought was going to happen. Let’s forget about the Hall of Fame for a moment. If someone came up to me a month ago and told me I’d be standing in the middle of this ring; with my daughter, her mother, and having you all cheer for me – I would’ve laughed in that persons face… and probably would’ve done worse things, honestly. I’m not going to pretend that my past doesn’t exist because it does – in fact it is my past accomplishments that has brought me here today. I am not a perfect person, and I never will be. However, I am going through life now with new meaning and a new purpose. No longer are you going to see a man that only cares about himself and will do ruthless, unforgiving things to get what he wants. No… that man is gone. I am still the Incredible One, formerly known as Ian Bishop, but before you stands a man who now devotes everything he does… to those two.
~TIO stops for a moment to point towards the women in his life, Jenna and Leslie. The crowd cheers for a moment before TIO continues~
TIO: These two have changed me for the better. Finally, I wake up in the morning, and I’m actually excited to be with them, to be… a family. My life serves them now. But, I also now serve you, the fans. During my feud with Matt Meyhu I realized something profound about the Aptitude. Yes, I know, I created it with them, and I was part of the problem, but I didn’t see it. My vision was blurred. …The Aptitude is corrupt, and that is something I can longer be a part of. From this moment – the Aptitude is no longer incredible. I’m out… but, I’m not finished with Meyhu, either. No. Meyhu may have won at Stainless Steel Ride, but, I was this close to winning. Make no mistakes about it, I’m not done with pursuing the OCW Championship, and I’m going to be back contending for that title, sooner rather than later.
~Leslie offers TIO a water bottle, which he takes a drink off as the crowd cheers for his announcement to leave the Aptitude and go after the OCW title again soon~
TIO: But that’s the coming months, we need to talk about right now. I am the newest member of the OCW Hall of Fame, and it’s a great feeling… but I know the way I conducted business so I could get into this hall was because of my recklessness. I have done a lot of things, to a lot of people, that have made them angry, upset, and more. My history is not the best with many people in the back but I plan to try and right my wrongs starting tonight. In the coming weeks, I will be coming up to many of my former enemies, people I have wronged in the past, and own my mistakes, and try to correct them. I know I will not be able to convince them all, and it may take time, but time heals all wounds, right? I hope so. See, because even though I did all those horrific things, my peers still voted me into the Hall of Fame. That means at some level, they do respect me, and I appreciate that. So, I hope because of that, I can also convince them that I am indeed a changed man. I want to end by saying that even though I didn’t capture the OCW Championship… I am still your OCW Paradigm Champion, and I will continue to defend this title with my life. I have done so for 134 days, and counting when I face Mack O’Connor in the future. Thank you to my peers for this honor, and thank you to the fans who have seen me transform and have accepted me. Thank you.
~“Ten Thousand Fists” begins to play again as the OCW crowd cheer for the newest Hall of Fame member. TIO embraces Jenna and Leslie in the hug before the three head to the back~
Smith: Great speech from a deserving Hall of Famer
Hood: Wild to think this guy debuted over three years ago. He’s come a long way
Smith: Indeed he has…that’s what OCW is all about…earning your spot. TIO has had to overcome many obstacles in his OCW career…all starting with Brianna Casablancas and tonight…well it’s come full circle. Only one thing remains ahead of TIO as far as accomplishments go
Hood: He’s got to get through The Marvel for that
Smith: That he does…I have to believe he’s due a rematch. Nobody deserves a shot at that belt more than TIO
Hood: Yea man and, shit, you never know…having that Hall of Fame credential might be the extra boost in confidence that puts him over the edge. Stranger shit has happened
Smith: Excellent point, Hood. He will be the legend the next time he faces Meyhu.
Hood: Yep yep
Smith: Before we get to our next match, let's head backstage
~We cut a shot in a dressing room. The cameras pan around the room before stopping at a pair of red high heels. The cameras move up from the heels to show a beautiful pair of tan legs. As the cameras work slowly up the legs, then to the waist, and up the upper body, slowly making its way to these beautiful leg’s owner… JULLIET BROOKS!!!~
~She sits in her dressing room lotioning her legs after a successful Massacre debut against Shootah. The door to her dressing room opens, startled, she looks up. As the shot comes clearer, it’s none other than CHAD VARGAS!!!~
~Julliet jumps to her feet ready to fight. Vargas raises his hands.~
Vargas: Easy does it, lady. I ain’t here to cause a rukus.
Julliet Brooks: What the hell do you want?
~Julliet eyes Vargas up and down, not quite knowing what to think. Vargas smiles as he stands in her door way, checking her out.~
Vargas: Looking good this evening…
Julliet Brooks: Right, considering I had to get ten stiches in my head, but I'm still here ready for a fight.
~Julliet smirks and Vargas gives a smile.~
Vargas: I was raised to never admit defeat no matter how gloomy the situation may look. But, I was also raised to give credit where credit is due. You gave it all you had at Stainless Steel Ride. You gave me the fight of my life. Woman or not, you are a talented wrestler and our match went down in my personal history as one of the best matches I’ve ever compete in. I’m honored to share that history with you.
~Brooks folded her arms. In the back of her mind all she could do is replay the disrespectful comments he made toward her prior towards their match.~
Vargas: Any time you need a tag team partner for any reason, look me up. You wanna go for round 2, look me up for that too – you wanna go to dinner some evening, definitely look me up for that too!
~She didn't say a word. Instead, she walked right out the door and left Vargas alone in the room. Vargas chuckles as he looks around her now empty dressing room.~
Vargas: Beautiful woman.
~Vargas smiles as he walks toward the door, upon exiting the room, Mack O'Connor stands before him.~
O'Connor: Well... Aren't you just the distinguished one.
~Vargas smirks, slightly embarrassed. He looks his old ally up and down.~
Vargas: Fuck off Mack.
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Competition breeds respect...could we be seeing the beginnings of a new team?
Hood: That or a really fucked up episode of Blind Date!
Smith: It technically wouldn't be a BLIND date...but I get your meaning
Hood: Loved that show...is it still on?
Smith: I don't know. But I do know that it’s been a great night. A mixture of tying up loose ends from Stainless Steel Ride while also building towards the future. Our next match features two undercard performers who are hungry to break free and make a name for themselves…Assassin takes on Liam Zua and that match is next!
Assassin (3-3) vs. Liam Lee Zua (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~the arena lights go out for a moment as we hear a girl's voice scream out “I Hate Everybody” as the opening of “Walking on Bodies” echoes over the PA. After a moment we see Assassin come through the curtain to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Assassin stops midway down the ramp as he cracks a smile looking out at the booing crowd. Assassin continues down the ramp as he reaches the bottom looking at the ring for a brief moment as he looks at the crowd once more before climbing onto the apron and through the ropes. Once in the ring Assassin fakes going towards a corner and instead stands in the middle of the ring turning to his side as he points out towards the crowd and laughs~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 280lbs…Assassin!!!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
~”Back from the Dead” by Skillet starts playing through the speakers as the lights dim down and a dark green spot light shines on the entrance. Liam walks out with the hood of his jacket up and as the lyrics for the song start he turns his back to the crowd and raises his left fist in the air throwing up devil horns just as the first verse of the song starts~
Cold and black inside this coffin
~He spins around a wicked smile on his face as he walks down to the ring focused like a laser~
Belvedere: And his opponent, weighing in at a 160 pounds, hailing from Miami, Florida…The man known as Death from Above Liam Zua!!!
~There is a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd as Liam slides under the bottom rope and throwing back his hood he climbs the turnbuckle and raises his left fist in the air once more before he backflips into the ring and then removes his jacket while he waits for the match to start~
Smith: An interesting matchup…both men looking for a win to help elevate their position within the rankings
Hood: Yea, Assassin has been here for a long ass time…ass
Smith: What are you, twelve?
Hood: Once. Not anymore
~The bell rings and Zua goes after Assassin, not wasting any time. Assassin, still in his corner, braces for the incoming opponent. Zua punches away at Assassin’s head with right hands. Assassin tries to cover up. Zua switches to kicks, slapping his leg into the exposed, vulnerable midsection. Assassin tires to cover his midsection up only to receive more punches to the head. Finally, out of frustration, Assassin powers out of the corner and shoves Zua away. Zua falls backward, flipping over his head and coming to rest on one knee~
Smith: Zua was fired up!
Hood: Yep, unfortunately he’s like one third the size of Assassin
Smith: The size disparity is not that great
Hood: Okay, well maybe he’s got one third the hair that Assassin has
Smith: In that case I believe you’re underselling the size disparity
Hood: True…Assassin has a shit load of hair
~Assassin charges forward…he throws a knee at Zua’s head…Zua falls onto his back, dodging the blow. Zua kips up. Assassin stops, he turns around, facing the back of Zua. Zua leaps into the air and nails Assassin in the head with a Pele Kick!! Assassin staggers into a corner, stunned~
Smith: Great athleticism displayed by Liam Zua…this kid could be going places!
Hood: Yea, to the Knife Man’s bed if he keeps pissing guys off with three times the amount of hair
Smith: I don’t see the connection
Hood: Man, all Assassin has to do is stick his hair in Zua’s face and the guy will suffocate!
~Zua rushes in on Assassin, driving a knee into his gut. Zua climbs to the second rope and drills Assassin in the forehead with several stiff right hands. He then hooks Assassin’s head under his arms, swings his legs and tosses Assassin out of the corner, head first into the mat with a Tornado DDT!! Assassin is lying on the mat…his bewildered eyes blink rapidly~
Smith: Fast paced, effective offense by Zua…Assassin is going to have to counter pretty soon if he wants to stand a chance
Hood: Man, the matches have sucked so far…don’t tell me we’ve got another shitty squash on our hands
Smith: Well, it is the week after Stainless Steel Ride…the wrestlers, management…everybody who runs this place has been taking it easy.
Hood: Fucking Millennials!
~Zua stands, ready for Assassin to get to his feet. The dazed Assassin finally reaches his feet. Zua runs into the corner and leaps off the middle rope. He goes for a more damaging Pele Kick…Assassin CATCHES Zua over his shoulder and drives him into the mat with a powerslam!!! Zua hits hard and gasps for air. Assassin rolls over and sits up, rubbing his head from the damage previously inflicted~
Smith: Zua was going for Zombie Killer...unfortunately for him, Assassin had it scouted
Hood: Maybe he should spend less time on a fucking cruise and more time worrying about his career
Smith: I see nothing wrong with taking a vacation during an off week
Hood: I bet Assassin was spending all week training.
Smith: Perhaps…but that doesn’t mean Zua can’t enjoy life. As long as you are productive inside the ring…who cares how you spend life outside it?
Hood: I do because I haven’t been on a cruise in years…not to mention sharing a room with an ass like Carter’s
Smith: Easy
~Assassin stands and grabs Zua by the few hairs atop his head, pulling him to his feet. He boots Zua in the gut. Zua bends forward at the waist…Assassin hooks Zua’s waist, he lifts Zua up and plants him into the mat with a Powerbomb!! Assassin goes for a cheap, lazy pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick out!!
Smith: Kick out by Zua…but Assassin has asserted his size advantage making it very hard for Zua to retaliate
Hood: Yea man, we’ve all heard the story of David and Goliath, right?
Smith: I’d assume so, yes
Hood: Shit would have gone down a lot differently if Goliath got his hands on David
Smith: I can’t argue that point
~Assassin remains undaunted in his quest for two consecutive victories. He reaches his feet once more and pulls Zua up again. He holds onto Zua’s arm and yanks Zua forward…he crushes Zua in the chest with a Short Arm Clothesline!! He holds onto Zua’s arm…Liam hangs limply. Assassin quickly hooks Zua’s head, lifts him up and drops him into the mat with a Brainbuster. He goes for the pin once more…this time a bit more seriously~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Another kick out…Assassin is tossing Zua around but he just can’t keep him down
Hood: Little people…they always think they can do anything. I blame their parents, really
Smith: What’s wrong with believing in yourself?
Hood: Nothing, if it makes sense…but telling a little guy he can be a pro wrestler…c’mon
Smith: He’s not that little
~Assassin is ready to finish Zua off. He gets to his feet and peels Zua off the mat. He hoists Zua onto his shoulders in the Electric Chair position…he’s pulls down on Zua’s head, looking for Assassination. Zua, though, flips forward, landing on his feet. Assassin staggers, confused by the escape. Zua is facing a corner…he turns toward it, hops onto the middle rope and leaps off with a Pele Kick into Assassin’s head!! Assassin falls backward, onto the mat. Zua makes the cover…the crowd pops for the move and counts along with Scruff~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…LIAM LEE ZUA!!!!!
Smith: Wow…that came out of nowhere…great win for Zua!
Hood: Fucking little people
Smith: He’s not that little!
Hood: He’ll always be little to me
Smith: Liam Zua with a huge win over Assassin…this will assuredly bump him up a few notches on the card whereas Assassin…well, it looks as though he’s heading back to the drawing board
Hood: I like Assassin…he’s got a great head of hair…but he just can’t seem to put it all together
Smith: It’s not easy in OCW…but, who knows, maybe he’ll figure it out. He’s got the potential, that’s for sure. Anyway…we’re winding down tonight with a pivotal main event on the horizon…so, let’s head backstage before we get to a match that will begin the build toward the future!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
'Cause you all try to keep me down
How it feels to be forgotten
But you'll never forget me now
~ Mack O’Connor walks with Treat Cassidy down a backstage hallway. Mack sips on a beer, and Treat seems to be in the middle of a lecture of some kind~
Treat: …Good job with those divisions. They are competitively stacked. Now, do you need the list so you can remember who’s in your division?
Mack: I already memorized who is in what division. I’ll be fine.
Treat: Recite them for me then.
Mack: No.
???: Hey Mack.
~Mack and Treat stop, looking down another hall. There stands the Incredible One in his street clothes, with the Paradigm Championship on his shoulder. He gives a nod towards Treat~
TIO: Cassidy.
~Treat just nods back. His face is a mix of fear and anger. TIO looks to Mack~
TIO: Can we have a word?
~Mack looks TIO up and down, sizing him up a bit. He takes out a breath, letting go of some of the tension. He gives Treat a pat on the back~
Mack: Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Treat: You sure?
Mack: Yeah. I’m sure. Go.
~Treat glances at TIO one more time before continuing down the hallway. Mack and TIO stare at each other. Once Treat disappears, TIO steps towards Mack~
TIO: I wanted to talk to you.
Mack: Then talk.
TIO: A lot has changed… with me. I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve split with Aptitude.
~As TIO approaches, Mack clenches his fists and tenses up a bit~
Mack: Shit is always changing. What’s your point?
TIO: I just wanted to say to you, man to man, I’m sorry.
Mack: For what?
TIO: I’ve done a lot of bad shit in OCW. I know it, you know it and everyone knows it… but I get it now. I get that my actions hurt others and have consequences
~Mack takes a sip of his beer~
TIO: So, in light of everything that’s happened, I wanted to come to you directly and apologize for what I’ve done to you and Cassidy.
~TIO extends his arm to shake Mack’s hand. Mack looks down at TIO’s arm, then looks back up at him~
Mack: You serious, right now?
TIO: Kidnapping Cassidy was a dick move. It was. I admit it. Before, I was blind to everything but myself. Having a family in my life has made me start to think straight for the first time in a while.
Mack: So now that the script was flipped on you… You think you can just waltz up to me and shake it off? How about you try apologizing to Treat?
TIO: I’m taking it one step at a time. I want to apologize to Treat too.
Mack: I get that what happened to your daughter can put shit in perspective. But that doesn’t just excuse everything else.
TIO: I’m not saying it does… I’m just trying to make things right. I’m trying to own what I did--
Mack: Look, Tartare…
TIO: Really? Still with the “Tartare”?
Mack: Look… The reason I returned to OCW was because of you. I returned to help Treat. When I returned, and after you did what you did to Treat, I wanted you. I was promised you. But things didn’t go exactly that way.
TIO: No, they didn’t.
Mack: And everything since then… You can’t expect me to look you in the eye right now and believe anything you say.
TIO: I can understand that. But…
Mack: But nothing. As a fighter, you have my respect. I’ve seen what you’re capable of in the ring, and I’m sure you’ve seen me. But as a person? Man to man? You’re still a piece of shit.
~TIO’s face flinches with anger, but he keeps his composure~
TIO: I’m just trying to make things right, show people that I’m not a monster anymore. I’m sure someone like you can understand that.
Mack: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
~TIO gives a sarcastic shrug, and the two men stare each other down. After several moments, TIO speaks~
TIO: Like I said… I’m just trying to make things right… just think about what I’ve said, OK?
~TIO turns and walks away frustrated. Mack takes a swig from his beer and turns in the other direction. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Some tense moments between two of OCW’s greatest
Hood: Atoning for one’s sins is quite possibly the hardest journey a person can traverse. Just look at REEK from Game of Thrones!
Smith: Theon, you mean
Hood: Nah, that bitch is and will always be REEK
Smith: So much for forgiveness…I’m not sure when or IF Mack will forgive TIO…that’s up to him. However, those two have a date for that Paradigm Title in the near future
Hood: That match should rock my face off
Smith: It will be awesome, yes. In the meantime…we’ve got our first truly meaningful match POST Stainless Steel Ride…Nara Toshiro, Jacqui Monroe, and Ed Houston will do battle…the winner faces Damian K’ for the OCW Ascension Championship in two weeks
Hood: Fucking rad…let’s get this shit going!
Smith: To ringside we go!
OCW Ascension #1 Contenders Match
Jacqui Monroe (5-0) vs. Ed Houston (2-0) vs. Nara Toshiro (2-0)
Belvedere: It is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! This match is a triple threat scheduled for one fall! The winner will face Damian K’ on July 10th for the OCW Ascension Championship!
~The crowd goes wild at the announcement "Her Ghost in the Fog" by Cradle of Filth begins to play. The fans stand and watch. The unmasked Itsumade, Nara Toshiro makes his way to the ring. He’s focused, keeping an intense gaze on the ring. Toshiro reaches the ring, ascends the steps and enters~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Nara Prefecture, Japan…standing 5’10 and weighing in at 195lbs…Nara Toshiro!!!
~The OCWTron counts down from 10 to 1 when it hits 1 an audible Blast Off is heard as pyrotechnics go off. Ed Houston runs to the ring as Rocket Man plays. He runs all the way to the ring and slides under before waving to the fans~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 180lbs…Ed Houston!!!
~Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' blares through the speakers, as Jacqui M appears on the platform, devil horns already in the air. As she begins to walk down the entrance way, the blonde allows herself a moment to head bang to her entrance tune, before making her way down to the ring. She enters without much of a fuss, sheds her leather jacket, and waits for anxiously for the bell~
Belvedere: And their opponent, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 130lbs…Jacqui Monroe!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: It’s been a quiet week…heck, a quiet night some would say…but this match, this match could have a significant impact on the OCW landscape moving forward
Hood: Is Ed Houston going to pitch a show on the Moon if he wins?
Smith: I don’t believe so, no
Hood: It could be called ECLIPSE!
Smith: Let’s try to keep things on the believable side of reality
~Toshiro can’t keep his eyes off of Houston. Ed shakes his head, trying to explain to Toshiro he had nothing to do with his loss at Stainless Steel Ride. Monroe, eager to jump into an altercation displays great restraint in observing the situation, waiting for something to break. Houston finally approaches Nara, whose eyes have not wavered. Toshiro is in his corner, statuesque. Ed’s hands move around as he attempts to explain what happened one week ago~
Smith: Ed Houston trying to clear the air here…but I doubt Nara is buying it
Hood: Yea, Itsumade looks pissed…it’s the most pissed I’ve ever seen him
Smith: Really?
Hood: Hell yes…he always had a mask on before so I couldn’t see his face
~Ed seems to think he’s getting through to Nara. That or he’s resigned to accepting silence as compliance. He extends his hand, hoping for a shake. He doesn’t really appear to expect one. Nara finally moves…he kicks the hand away and unleashes a multitude of open palm strikes to both sides of Ed’s head. Houston staggers toward the middle of the ring. Nara throws a few kicks into both sides of Ed’s ribcage…he then throws a roundhouse kick that smacks Ed in the side of the head. Houston hits the mat and he rolls toward the ropes, aching all over~
Smith: Toshiro unleashed a flurry of fury!
Hood: A flurry of fury?
Smith: I think it works
Hood: I hate it
~Monroe springs to action. She hurries toward Nara, throwing a kick at his back. Toshiro senses Monroe coming and drops to one knee, ducking the kick. He pops back up and hooks Monroe around the waist, from behind. She blocks and attempted German…she throws a few back elbows into the side of Nara’s head. He releases his grip, staggering into a corner. Monroe turns around and stalks Nara…she throws a kick at his head. Toshiro catches her leg! Monroe hops on one foot as the focused, laconic Toshiro pushes her near the center of the ring. Monroe leaps into the air and cracks Nara in the head with an enziguri!! Toshiro falls to one knee, dazed. Monroe returns to her feet and throws several kicks into Nara’s chest…she finishes him off with a roundhouse kick into the head! Nara collapses onto the mat~
Smith: Great striking by Jacqui Monroe…it’s been awhile so our viewers may have forgotten the fact that she beat CJ O’Donnell in her last match
Hood: What? That never happened
Smith: Oh yes it did…go back and watch the footage
Hood: I don’t re-watch these shows
Smith: And why not?
Hood: Means I have to relive the horror of working next to you
Smith: Rude!
~Monroe drags Nara toward the nearest corner. She faces the buckles and hops onto the middle rope…she then leaps off and drops on top of Nara with a Corner Slingshot Splash!! She returns to her feet with the crowd firmly behind her. She crouches near the middle of the ring, watching Nara...preparing to hit him with something~
Smith: Jacqui just hit the Awesome Splash and now she appears poised to strike Nara with the Jacqui Kick!
Hood: What is it with the women in this place? They are more vicious than the men!
Smith: I’d imagine it’s tougher to earn respect in this business for a female…might breed a form of contempt.
Hood: I’m not so sure about that…promoters are always bending rules for some tits and ass
~Toshiro sits up. Monroe turns her side to Nara with her leg ready to spring forward. Nara reaches his feet…his back is to Monroe. Something catches the corner of our vision…he focus and spots Ed Houston on the apron. Nara turns around…Monroe moves in for the Jacqui Kick. Ed hops up onto the top rope…he springboards off and wraps his legs around Monroe’s head! He tosses her across the ring with a Hurricanrana!! She hits hard and lands near the ropes. Out of instinct, she returns to her feet and staggers toward Ed. Ed hops to his feet and leaps into the air with a picturesque dropkick right into Jacqui’s face!! She hits the mat and rolls out of the ring, under the bottom rope~
Smith: Ed Houston with a nice comeback…Monroe was close to securing victory
Hood: Fucking guy is quick, I’ll give him that
Smith: Indeed…OCW expects big things out of Ed Houston
Hood: I would to…he’s a NASA employee…that means the guy is probably smart…at least, I’d hope so anyway
~Nara approaches Ed from behind. He snares Ed’s head and has him in position for an Inverted DDT. Ed kicks off the mat and rolls over Nara’s shoulder, onto his feet, behind Nara…he hooks Nara’s head and drops Toshiro with an Inverted DDT!! The fans rise to their feet, firmly behind Ed at this point. Houston heads towards the nearest corner with Toshiro in prime position. He reaches the top rope and looks down~
Smith: Ed is looking to hit Blastoff!
Hood: Oh shit!
Smith: Indeed…if he hits this, it’s over
Hood: Itsumade is taking a beating in this one
~Ed, about to take off, feels something grasping at his boot. He looks down, it’s Monroe. She’s on the apron, reaching up, prevening Ed from completing the move. He kicks at her…at first trying to push her away…finally, he throws a hard kick, drilling her in the face. She falls off the apron…Ed staggers off the top rope, nearly falling to the floor…he manages to walk across the top rope, swaying side to side…he maintains his balance and turns toward Toshiro…he springboards off the top rope with an amazing 450 Splash!!! The crowd goes wild…Ed hooks the leg as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Kick out by Toshiro…but, it was close
Hood: Fuck yea it was…Ed walked the rope like he’s some kind of gymnast
Smith: He has tremendous balance to go along with that elite athleticism
Hood: So why the fuck does he work for NASA?
Smith: You act like that’s a bad gig
Hood: It’s for pasty nerds with huge brains and fat bodies…not for someone like Ed
Smith: You shouldn’t generalize!
~Ed pops back up to his feet, feeding off the energy from the crowd. A few “ED!” chants start up. Nara rolls onto all fours. He’s attempting to reach his feet. He finally does and stumbles toward Ed. Ed DRILLS Nara with a Superkick! Nara spins around, remaining on his feet…we see Monroe slide into the ring! She pops to her feet and drills Nara with a superkick of her own!! Toshiro turns around and eats ANOTHER superkick from Ed. Jacqui responds with her second superkick. The two OCW stars go back and forth trading superkicks on Nara until his legs finally give out and he crumbles to the mat…the crowd goes wild after each kick before exploding with a thunderous ovation when Nara’s body gives up~
Smith: Wow! We just had a Jacqui Kick vs Houston We Have a Problem duel!
Hood: I’m going to have to side with the Jacqui Kick
Smith: I can’t pick one…I only know both did extensive damage
Hood: Toshiro is going to have a raging headache when he finally wakes up. The Knife Man needs to have the good shit ready backstage!
~Monroe and Houston look at each other for a moment. Nara is there for the taking. At once, they both dive at Nara, trying to get the pin. Scruff stands over them, unwilling to count until one has a clear cover. Both reach their knees and, out of frustration, begin trading punches back and forth. Ed hits Monroe with right fists while Jacqui drills Ed with forearms shots to the jaw. They go back and forth several times much to the crowd’s delight~
Smith: I think it’s pretty clear at this juncture that whoever can get three seconds alone with Nara
Hood: I don’t like where this is going
Smith: LET ME FINISH! Whoever gets three seconds along with Toshiro is going to win this match
Hood: You never know, Itsumade could fire up!
Smith: I doubt it…he’s probably concussed from the several superkicks he recently suffered
~Houston and Monroe reach their feet, continuing to trade punches. Monroe actually gets the advantage, landing a vicious forearm that staggers Ed backwards. He leans against the ropes…she charges in with a clothesline. Ed ducks and lifts her over the top rope, onto the apron. She lands on her feet. Ed’s back is to Monroe. She springboards off the bottom rope and flips over Ed…she grabs his head while on the way down and delivers a stunner!! Ed falls through the ropes, landing on the apron…the crowd goes wild~
Smith: What a move by Jacqui Monroe! What tremendous athleticism
Hood: Fucking hell…she just raised the stakes on High Flying Ed Houston
Smith: That she did…you have to wonder just how good Monroe actually is…if she wins this…who’s to say she can’t go all the way to the top of OCW?
Hood: Well, like you said…rumor has it she beat CJ so…
Smith: It isn’t rumor…it’s FACT
~Monroe crawls towards Toshiro…she gets on top, covering for a pin. Scruff slides in to make the count~
1!
2!
NO!
Smith: Houston just pulled Monroe out of the ring
Hood: He’s not going down without a fight!
Smith: Indeed…this is a tremendous opportunity. The winner will main event Massacre against Damian K’ for the Ascension Championship…huge chance for both Ed and Jacqui
Hood: Hey! Don’t forget about Itsumade
Smith: I’ll mention him when he wakes up
~Monroe is on the apron with Houston clinging to her legs. She’s furious….she kicks Houston in the chest. He stumbles back, into the barricade. She stands on the apron and starts to enter through the ropes…Houston lunges forward, grabbing her leg…she steps back out, onto the apron and kicks Houston away. He falters backward, near the ring steps. Jacqui throws a kick at his face…Ed ducks…Monroe nearly kicks the post, bringing her leg to a stop inches before a dangerous impact. Ed sweeps the leg she’s using for support! She falls, slamming her back into the apron~
Smith: Great move by Ed Houston…he’s doing everything he can to end the undefeated streak of Jacqui Monroe
Hood: Undefeated streak? She lost in the Process of Elimination…didn’t she?
Smith: Those don’t really count…people being forced to team with other people…I’m not going to hold it against her. Not to mention the antics of PKA!
Hood: Fuck off…a loss is a loss
~Ed hops, flatfooted from the floor onto Jacqui’s midsection, slamming both knees into her stomach. He then rolls into the ring, in between the middle and bottom rope. Jacqui rolls over, holding her midsection in pain…she’s hanging half off the apron. Toshiro is on his feet, after all of this. He’s barely able to stand. Houston PUNCHES him out with a Superkick!! Nara snaps back, hitting the mat for, probably, the last time. Ed heads toward the nearest corner. He ascends to the top rope and looks down at Toshiro. Nothing is in his way…he leaps off with a picture perfect Shooting Star Press (Blastoff)! He connects!! Ed holds on for the pin~
1!
2!
3…NO!
Smith: Jacqui with the save!
Hood: Holy shit that was close
Smith: She just won’t give up
Hood: After living on the streets…a few punches to the body…kicks to the stomach…nothing she can’t handle
~Monroe, right before the three, slid into the ring and kicks Ed in the face. She struggles to her feet…Ed nearly gets to his before her. She kicks Ed in the stomach…he retaliates with a huge right hand. Jacqui stumbles toward the ropes. Ed charges in with a spear! Monroe dodges Houston’s spear…he flies through the ropes but holds onto the middle rope, remaining on the apron. He reaches up, snaring the top rope. Monroe turns around and tries to push him off the apron~
Smith: Again the battle for who gets to pin Nara Toshiro continues
Hood: You just watch, Itsumade is just chilling…he’s going to small package whoever wins the struggle
Smith: That would prove to be quite the act
Hood: Just wait and see
~Ed is holding onto the top rope with both hands. Jacqui throws several kicks through the ropes, into his ribs. He legs go with his left hand and teeters on the edge. Monroe steps back and lunges forward with The Jacqui Kick!! She connects!! Ed’s hand breaks free and he flies off the apron, slamming into the barricade!! Monroe turns around to find a standing, dazed Toshiro. She kicks him in the gut and drops him swiftly into the mat with Drop Dead Gorgeous! Jacqui covers Toshiro as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the #1 CONTENDER FOR THE OCW ASCENSION CHAMPIONSHIP…JACQUI MONROE!!!!!
Smith: Wow! What a win for Monroe…Monroe and Houston fought hard for the opportunity to face Damian
Hood: Damnit…I guess Itsumade wasn’t acting after all
Smith: I tried to tell you
Hood: Fuck…oh well, so Jacqui faces Damian K’ now
Smith: Indeed…that should be a tremendous match…as for Ed Houston…while the loss stings, I still see a bright future ahead for the NASA employee
Hood: I like the guy…he’s entertaining and talented…just a minor setback
Smith: Absolutely…well folks, that’s just about it from us…we hope you all enjoyed this post Stainless Steel Ride episode of Massacre…the march toward Serial Thrillers is under way…we’ve got a long way to go and a lot is set to be decided…it should be an exciting summer!
Hood: Fuck yea, I can’t wait!
Smith: The Margarita Mix begins next week…Mike Zybala is here…Julliet Brooks is here…The Aptitude are at each other’s throats…Mack O’Connor and TIO are set to do battle and now Jacqui Monroe will receive her first shot at OCW immortality.
Hood: Is it next Monday yet? Haha, just kidding…I don’t want the week to by THAT quickly
Smith: Haha…indeed…we’ll see you all next week…goodnight everybody!
~Our feed cuts to a dark attic. A man is tied to a chair. His legs are bound around the legs. His arms behind his back, bound around the back. His mouth is taped shut. A small TV is mounted in front of him. It’s airing the end of an old OCW match. A bright point of the match shines out giving us a good view of the captive…it’s Marcus Welsh. His hair is drenched with sweat…pain struggles within his eyes. We listen in on the ending of the match he’s currently being forced to watch~
Smith: Uhh, I’m speechless….
Hood: I’m in tears! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jones: Oh man, I don’t know if that was coolest thing I’ve ever seen or the sickest thing!
Smith: I guess there are no words to describe what Scott Syren has done here tonight!
Hood: You fucking idiots! There are three words to describe what he has just done…..JUST….FUCKING…..COOL!!!!!
~Welsh lowers his head as the TV is paused. We hear a familiar voice in the darkness~
Voice: Haha, CLASSIC OCW, SUCKA! How about we watch the Whack Off Match one more time!
~Welsh kicks his legs and screams under the gag. The DVD of No Limits 2 is pushed back to the beginning of the notorious whack off match between Scott Syren and Scoot Time. It begins to play once more. Welsh shakes his head and shuts his eyes…pure torture wrenches his face. We fade to black~