OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, June 12th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~The image fades out. We open to a cold shot of EE’s office. He’s consulting with Head of Security Barry Man is Low. EE seems concerned…a poster for SSR is on his wall. He keeps pointing at it. We listen in~
Eastern European: Barry Man is Low! This is tapestry! Mister Welsh is missing and we have prison to visit in one week! We need to find him on the ASAP!
Barry Man is Low: I’m working on it
Eastern European: The week for your work is over! I have idea that is fresh. New man for job, he come highly recommended by business card I find near trash can.
Barry Man is Low: But, sir, I have a ton of connections in the realm of detection. If you would have asked for a reference…
Eastern European: I hear no more about your refusals! I have man for job…PUTTER, enter the office that is mine!
~The door to EE’s office opens and JACK PUFFER confidently steps in. He has a giant smile on his face. He extends his hand…EE eagerly shakes it. He turns to Barry Man is Low…a far less eager, somewhat stunned Man is Low shakes the hand of Puffer~
Eastern European: This man on job! He find Welsh in zero time!
Jack Puffer: Why thank you, sir. It’s about time somebody recognized talent. As soon as I receive your deposit, I will begin searching for Welsh.
Eastern European: Of course! How the fool of me I be so clumsy today. Allow me to give you money in dollar form, yes?
Jack Puffer: That will suffice, sir
~EE opens the OCW check book. It is terrifying that this man has unlimited access to Buffet’s funds. He writes a check for TEN THOUSAND dollars and hands it over to Puffer. Barry Man is Low is speechless~
Eastern European: Here is the money, Putter
Jack Puffer: Whoa, this actually….
Eastern European: Oh and before my mind goes blank with absence. Here is card. For business expense only!
~Puffer can't believe all the money that has suddenly found its way into his hands. He's about to say something. EE's eyes narrow, curious to hear what comes out of his mouth. For once, Puffer makes a good decision~
Jack Puffer: Never mind…this looks great! The next time you see me, I will have Marcus Welsh by my side!
~Puffer rushes out of the office before EE can locate a semblance of sanity and/or be reasoned with by Barry Man is Low. EE looks to his head of security and catches a disapproving eye. He waves Barry off~
Eastern European: No look at me that way! Go! Secure something!
~Barry Man is Low shakes his head…he’s probably questioning his life. He exits EE’s office. EE sits down relieved. He truly believes Puffer will find Welsh. We cut to the announce team. The OCW Arena is going wild~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m Smith and alongside me as always is Hood and tonight’s show is set to be one of the most influential shows in OCW history. It’s the prelude…the build…the go home Massacre leading into Stainless Steel Ride!
Hood: Yes, a huge show! And, in CLASSIC OCW fashion, our fucking GM is missing
Smith: My colleague isn’t telling any tales outside of school.
Hood: Huh?
Smith: Let me rephrase…my colleague isn’t bearing false witness against his neighbors
Hood: WHAT THE FUCK
Smith: Okay, fine, Hood ain’t lying
Hood: There you go
Smith: Before last week’s show went off the air we all saw Plethora attack Marcus Welsh. Well, as it turns out, he also ABDUCTED our GM who is now missing. Nobody knows where he is…nobody knows where Plethora is…and, well, nobody knows where Annie Alvarez is.
Hood: I’m gonna miss that ass
Smith: And, to make matters worse…JACK PUFFER is on the case
Hood: Yea, EE apparently side stepped using the Key West Police Department and went the quiet route…unfortunately, he thinks Jack Puffer is a real detective.
Smith: Well, to be fair, he is a REAL detective…he’s just not a really good one
Hood: I guess…but it sounds like we’re fucked. We’ve got this fucking show inside a prison one week from today and the guy running things is, well, fucking insane
Smith: The lineup card tonight may not be as stacked as usual. It’s built around one match and, boy, is it a big one. The Process of Elimination Finals are tonight…the winner will draft the Margarita Mix divisions…this could, essentially, give that person an easy path to headlining our next big show
Hood: Oh yea, it’s a cool prize. Nice to see these fuckers haven’t been competing in these elimination matches for some gay ass prize like, I don’t know, a hidden immunity idol on Survivor
Smith: Hey, that could come in handy right about now…if you’ve been keeping up with the show
Hood: Oh man, best show on TV!
Smith: Indeed…we’ve also got several debuts and Bob Grenier will be in action for the first time in months as he takes on The Lockwood Party
Hood: Alice fucking Knight…she ruins everything!
Smith: She’s the best! Let’s head down to ringside for our first match of the evening!
Paris (0-0) vs. Shootah (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring….a man who needs no introduction…SHOOTAH!!
~Shootah seems to be in decent spirits. He first off a couple of shots from his ‘hand gun’ gesture. He does a little shimmy and looks toward the entrance with lust in his eyes~
Smith: I think Shootah might fancy our newest signee, Paris
Hood: What? Don’t be ridiculous…how could we have signed an entire CITY to the roster?
Smith: That’s her name!
Hood: Oh, okay…well I’m glad we got the Paris joke out of the way, then!
~As the arena goes dark The lights in the arena begin to dim, before a strobe light flashes, quickly changing through multiple, bright and dazzling colors. The stadium suddenly appears as if it's transformed into a night club, as a steady trance beats flows through the speakers. Gimme More" By Britney Spears System as words appear on the screen in brilliant, shimmering gold -- "It's not personal... it's just business." These fade out, replaced by another phrase in sparkling silver -- "I ALWAYS get what I want!!" The fans are already showing their hate as the lyrics slowly come through--~
(And I just want to dance with you)
~Golden sparks begin to rain down over the stage... before the stage begins to shift. The center of the stage separates, and a platform rises from below... Paris rests on her side, upon an elegant bed. She wears a fancy, fashionable robe, made of golden lace, with a golden cowl. Faith stands behind her, waving a giant, royal fan in her direction. Paris is surrounded by small, marble pillars. From the pillars hang a banner, made from the finest parchment, proclaiming 'Your Goddess Has Arrived'. The beat intensifies, as the voice rings out once again~
Gimme, Gimme more, Gimme, More Gimme, Gimme, More
Gimme, Gimme more Gimme, More Gimme, Gimme, More
Gimme, Gimme more Gimme, MoreGimme, Gimme, More"
~Paris rises from the bed, lifting her hands out to the fans, to an overwhelmingly negative reaction here. The platform descends, and the pair make their way down the ramp, as the golden sparks continue to shower down upon the stage. Faith waves toward the OCW faithful, who respond with nothing but 100%, pure hatred. Paris throws her shoulders back, before acting as if she's going to kiss a young fan. But the self-proclaimed 'Greek Goddess' pulls away at the last second, leaving the fan to curse at her and later write it down in his feelings journal. She then walks toward the ring steps, taking her time to raise her hand to the fans, cuz the face ain't listening. She orders Faith to hold the middle rope down, which she does, and Paris steps through... Paris stands tall in the center of the ring, blowing a kiss out wiggles her Fingers as she waves to Crowd to the fans, before smiling egotistically to herself~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Mykonos, Greece…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 118lbs…Paris!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Paris is an interesting talent, Hood. I’m not quite sure what to make of her…aside from the obvious.
Hood: That she’s hotter than a mid-June Louisiana afternoon?
Smith: Ugh, I hope it isn’t THAT hot down there
Hood: Oh get ready, Smith…it’s gonna sizzle
Smith: I’ll need to bring a mini fan! One of those fans that blows cool mist over your face…great for outdoor events!
Hood: Speaking of fans…did you see that fan with his ‘feelings’ journal.
Smith: I did, yes
Hood: What a nerd. Let me write about my feelings because I’m too big of a pussy to do anything about them in real life
Smith: Not everybody deals with emotional issues in the same manner, Hood
~Paris looks across the ring with disgust. Shootah is pretty much everything she DOESN’T look for. He’s dirty, poor…utterly loathsome. She makes her way toward the grimy man, knowing she must at least touch him a time or two if she wants to be successful. Shootah licks his fingers and tries to fix his hair…excitement beguiles him~
Smith: I’m not sure Shootah came here to wrestle
Hood: Shootah never shows up to wrestle. He showed up initially to make money…now he just shows up to survive.
Smith: Somebody needs to tell him this woman is out of his league…if he doesn’t snap out of his lust…she’s gonna hurt him
Hood: You never know, she may deeply desire starring in one of his low budget porn flicks
Smith: Not a woman like Paris. She’s a different kind of woman.
~Shootah attempts to woo Paris with some type of misguided compliment. Paris doesn’t appear to be offended or wooed. She just looks at the man. She leans in and gives him a kiss on the lips…the fans cringe…WHERE HAVE THOSE LIPS BEEN?~
Smith: Are we seeing the unthinkable? Has Shootah won her over?
Hood: Shootah’s got game!
Smith: I’m shocked!
~Shootah is lost in lust. His eyes are shut…he’s floating ten feet in the air (not literally). Paris instantly knees him in the stomach, she grabs him by the head and drops Shootah to the mat with a Hangwoman Neckbreaker!! Shootah is finished. Paris climbs over his body and thrusts her crotch in his face. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. Paris gets off Shootah and stands up, victorious. She doesn’t appear happy…more like she knew this would happen~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…PARIS!!!!!
Smith: Quick, decisive win for Paris. Another tough loss for Shootah.
Hood: I don’t know man, he got to kiss her AND she put her crotch in his face…all things considered, this might have been the greatest moment in Shootah’s wrestling career.
Smith: That is incredibly sad because it’s woefully true. Let’s head backstage!
~We cut backstage. Bradley Carrington is sitting alone in the Aptitude’s private locker room. He looks at TIO’s locker and notices that it's open. He also notices the Paradigm championship in the locker. He picks it up, holds it over his head and says in his best ring announcer voice…~
Bradley: and neeeeeeeew OCW Paradigm champion, Bradley Carrington!
~He makes the noise of a cheering crowd as he makes his way over to a mirror and poses with the belt~
Bradley: This belt is going to look good around my waist.
~He strikes a pose, the thinker. He holds the belt over his shoulder as he holds the pose~
Bradley: I guess I could try it on…
~Bradley looks around to make sure no one is coming. He goes to put the belt around his waist when TIO walks back into the room. There is an awkward pause as the crowd buzzes for the interaction. TIO cocks an eyebrow before speaking~
TIO: Hey Carrington… have you seen Meyhu anywhere?
~Bradley starts rubbing the belt as if he was polishing it all this time.~
Bradley: Hey man, just shining the belt up for you. No I haven’t seen Matt for a while.
~Bradley chuckles nervously. TIO is frustrated by Bradley’s answer before getting distracted by him having his Paradigm Championship. TIO paces closer to Bradley, eyeing the situation.~
TIO: Seems to me you were doing more than that. Since when did you start shining any of our belts?
Bradley: Since…
~Bradley can’t think of anything else to say~
Bradley: Since this one is going to be mine soon.
TIO: You’re right. It could be yours very soon… but not yet. So, how’s about I take what is rightfully mine?
Bradley: Oh, sure.
~Bradley reluctantly hands the belt over. The two men each have a hand on it. TIO tries to pull it from Bradley, but Bradley resists for a moment before finally letting go. TIO nods before going to leave but stops, staring at the title belt in his hands. He sighs, turning around and extending it back to Bradley~
TIO: Take it.
~Bradley reaches out for the belt but stops his arm about half way. The look on his face is somewhat confused, but he reaches out for the belt~
Bradley: You sure? It is yours.
~TIO hesitates again, confusion and anger in his face, but nods as Bradley takes the belt and TIO let’s go~
TIO: Yes. And here’s why. Come the end of Stainless Steel Ride - I won’t be the Paradigm Champion. Either you will be - or Mack O’Connor. I, on the other hand… I’m going to beat our supposed “brother”, Matt Meyhu, and become the OCW Champion that this organization deserves. So hold on to it… because I don’t need it anymore.
~TIO leaves the room. Bradley looks down at the belt and smirks. He resumes posing in the mirror. He puts the belt around his waist and flexes. He likes what he sees. The crowd on the other hand, boos louder than they have all night. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: TIO is awfully confident heading into his match with Meyhu
Hood: See? This is why the Aptitude is such a great organization to be a part of...they GIVE each other titles!
Smith: I'm not sure how much of a gift that was...if TIO loses to Meyhu I'm sure he'll take it back
Hood: Are you calling TIO an...an...Indian Giver?
Smith: Are we allowed to say a term like that on television?
Hood: Hmm, I don't know...but I just did
Smith: It's probably best if we move on! Up next we have the debut of Ed Houston...a wrestler we're all really excited about...so, let's head down to ringside!
Ed Houston (0-0) vs. John E Depth (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…he is the world’s greatest porn director…ladies and gentlemen, please give a solid ovation for John E Depth!!!
~Depth rubs his mustache and rotates his hips, sexually. A few fans enjoy his behavior…some abhor it…others don’t really care because the mother fucker never wins. The OCWTron counts down from 10 to 1 when it hits 1 an audible Blast Off is heard as pyrotechnics go off. Ed Houston runs to the ring as Rocket Man plays. He runs all the way to the ring and slides under before waving to the fans~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Miami, Florida…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 180lbs…Ed Houston!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Well Hood….this is a debut we’ve been anticipating. Ed Houston is a talent OCW was very eager to sign.
Hood: He does have a bitching last name. Houston, Texas…GREAT city
Smith: Well, it’s not one of the worst, I can say that
Hood: Oh yea, what’s your favorite city?
Smith: Key West!
Hood: I should have guessed
~Depth looks Houston up and down. He admires the man’s abs. Depth, sucking on a lollipop, pulls the candy out of his mouth and points at Houston saying, “With a body like that, you’d make one hell of a stunt porn double.”~
Smith: What did he just say?
Hood: Since when do pornos use stunt doubles?
Smith: For the acting portions?
Hood: Haha, yea, you’re probably right…they cast the lead guy based on looks…then when he has to read lines they call in some puny guy who can actually string a sentence together…that’s their form of STUNT DOUBLE
Smith: Perhaps…but Depth seems to want Houston for his physique
~Houston smirks and respectfully declines the offer. Depth throws his lollipop at Houston. Ed shows great quickness in dodging the sugary attack! The lollipop hits a female fan in the shirt. It sticks to her fabric…she removes it and puts it in her mouth. She instantly develops face herpes~
Smith: Why do young women make such poor decisions?
Hood: I don’t know why you felt the need to use an adjective there. It isn’t JUST young women
Smith: I’m sorry I asked
~Depth charges at Houston…he ducks whatever Depth was attempting. Houston hits the ropes, he bounces off…Depth turns around and is smacked with a Shining Wizard!!! Depth staggers back into a corner, dazed~
Smith: Great quickness and agility by Ed Houston…which should come as no surprise…we’ve been told about his athleticism BEFORE he signed
Hood: I heard the guy wanted to do Ninja Warrior but they told him he couldn’t…he’d embarrass everyone else
Smith: What a great story!
Hood: I know. I just made it up!
Smith: Ugh
~Depth stumbles out of the corner and Houston cracks his chin with a Superkick!!! Depth falls to the mat, in the center of the ring, flat on his back. Houston looks to the nearest corner…the crowd rises to their feet and begin applauding the newcomer~
Smith: He calls that Houston We Have a Problem!!! Ed Houston is one move away from locking this up!
Hood: He looks good, I’ll give him that
Smith: Indeed…another stellar signing by OCW!
~Ed rushes to the corner and effortlessly glides through the air, finding himself perched at the top. He leaps off with a perfect Shooting Star Press!! It connects!!! He hooks both of Depth’s legs…Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ED HOUSTON!!!!!
Smith: And Ed Houston secures the victory with Blastoff! It was an easy, effortless…impressive win for Ed Houston. He’s everything we hoped he’d be and potentially more
Hood: I say this every week…he’s got to do it against people tougher than John E fucking Depth
Smith: Indeed…now, let’s head backstage!
~Attention is directed to the scree where Leo The Highschool Intern sits in a living room in Northern Ontario. Across from him on a ratty looking couch with a crappy floral pattern straight out of the 80's is Bob Grenier, Former OCW Champion~
Leo: Across from me sits Bob Grenier. He's a former World Heavyweight Champion, Gentleman and Scholar. Some people consider him The Last Great Hope and at Stainless Steel Ride from the Louisville State Correctional Facility he will take on Alice Knight. The question on most peoples minds is.. Why Alice?
Bob: Why not Alice? I'm not stupid. There is a method to my ways. Some people say that for no good reason, I'm just bullying Alice. That's kind of true. I'm an asshole. It's not so much that I'm a bad guy.. It's that when my back is against the wall and I want to attain something I tend to do bad guy things. Like I said, I'm not stupid.. Whether she is 100% or 10%, Alice is the biggest dog in this yard and it's time to put the bitch out to pasture. I refuse to wait anymore and I know a win over Alice at Stainless Steel Ride IMMEDIATELY puts me back in the conversation. A win over Alice leaves management no choice but to put me back in the title picture. I apologize to everyone "ahead" of me but Bob Grenier is cutting in line.
Leo: What is the relationship between yourself and The Lockwood Party?
Bob: We're pretty much the same person. Sometimes you need to call your friends and when I was down and at the end of the rope that's what I did. Here is the thing, The Aptitude.. Those ego's are going to swell and eventually those ego's are going to collide. They may be on top now but that's not going to last very much longer. What you have with The Mutiny, Myself and The Lockwood Party..Is a band of brothers and a bond that will NEVER be broken and once we dismantle Alice Knight.. Who knows what could possibly happen.
Leo: Are you calling out The Aptitude?
Bob: No comment. If and when we cross that bridge the boys and I are fully prepared for a war.
Leo: Are you interested in participating in Jimmy Buffets Margarita Mixer, where the winner will receive an OCW Championship opportunity?
Bob: I don't drink anymore. I abstain from all impure substances. I'm not going to wrestle in a tournament that promotes Jimmy Buffet and has an alcohol theme. I'm a staunch believer in my new ways.
Leo: Are you serious?
Bob: Do I look like I'm f*****g kidding man? Am I joke to you?
~Bob looks angry at this question. He get's out of his seat and get's in Leo The High School Interns face~
Bob: I'm going to go for a walk. Give me 5 minutes.. The old me would have insulted you 4 times, got high and fucked your mother by now. When I come back you better ask some intelligent questions. You were off to such a good start Leo, I'm not impressed.
~Bob takes his lapel mic off and puts it on the table before storming off~
To Be Continued..
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Bob is saying he's a changed man and, well, I kind of agree...but I'm not a fan of this 'new' Bob Grenier
Hood: I sure as hell him...about time somebody talked tough with Leo the High School Intern...GET A REAL FUCKING JOB, LEO
Smith: Leo is one of our most respected journalists. He always brings the hard hitting interviews and detailed show reviews!
Hood: Fucking Leo
Smith: Well we'll hear more from Bob later...I'll be anxious to see how he tries to work his way out of facing The Lockwoods
Hood: With Welsh gone he might be able to do just that...EE is probably watching web cam girls from his hometown online right now
Smith: Terrific! Well Hood, get ready for a very unique opportunity here on Massacre.
~Smith stands up from his announce position, removes his headset, and picks up a microphone from the announce desk, tapping it to make sure it is on, resulting in a piercing wail of feedback that makes everyone in the arena and Smith himself cringe.~
Hood: What the hell, Smith?! Is this an opportunity to make us all deaf?
~Smith ignores his broadcast partner and mouths “sorry” to the fans in the front row before regaining his composure and speaking into the mic.~
Smith: Ladies and gentlemen, OCW fans—please welcome my guests at this time. Coming to us live via satellite from the High Impact Training facility in Minneapolis, Minnesota… “Perfect” Paul Paras, “Marvelous” Mario Maurako… they are the number one contenders to the HOW World Tag Team Championships, PERFECTLY MARVELOUS!!!
~The capacity crowd roars at the mention of the two-time OCW Hall of Famers and goes ballistic when the seven-time Tag Team champions appear on the screen! The Italian Stallion, Mario Maurako, is inside one of the HIT facility’s many wrestling rings, working up a sweat as he mercilessly pummels what appears to be a trainee in the corner with stomp after stomp. The Zen Master, Paul Paras, wearing the new Triple P Yoga muscle shirt, is seated cross-legged on the ring apron below them, seemingly meditating without even noticing the beatdown happening right next to him. Maurako gives a wrestling lesson while continuing the corner barrage, only taking breaths to deliver more punishment.~
Mario Maurako: And that… is how… you stomp… an opponent… so they never… want to be stomped… again!
~Mario reaches down to offer the rookie his hand and help him to his feet. The kid accepts, likely not even knowing which zip code he’s in anymore, and Maurako graciously pulls him up out of the corner… then delivers a scintillating SIMPLY MARVELOUS uranage slam, crashing the poor trainee back down to the mat, and even succeeding in getting a pop from the Massacre crowd watching in the arena!~
Mario Maurako: And that is lesson number 65—never trust an old man with nothing to lose! Hit the showers! Next pair, get in the ring!
~Paras opens one eye, perturbed that his peace (not to mention the trainee’s back) was broken by the Simply Marvelous. He sighs and directs his full attention to the camera as Mario joins him on the ring apron, wiping some sweat from his forehead on his throwback Maurako Family tanktop. Two more rookies jump into the ring behind them and begin running the ropes. Back in the arena, Smith clears his throat.~
Smith: Paul, Mario, thank you for joining us tonight, on the road to what many are calling a historic night for the Tag Team Championships and OCW as a whole, as Perfectly Marvelous and the Aptitude will face off in a Prison Cell Match at Stainless Steel Ride!
Paul Paras: Brother Smith, it has been too long since you’ve visited the HIT. Let the Perfect One download you a month’s free membership and get your mind, body, and spirit back in alignment… just like that wonderful lad over there…
~HIT medical personnel are carting off the rookie Maurako just trained on a stretcher.~
Paul Paras: Good kid.
Mario Maurako: Needs to work on his technique.
Paul Paras: Apparently. But yes, Stainless Steel Ride. Unquestionably stupid name for a wrestling show, but a perfect place for these two Hall of Famers to remind the wrestling world exactly why we are considered the greatest tag team in the history of this business. The Aptitude have been running the show around here for so long, the Marvelous One and I feel like Massacre these days looks more like the CJ O’Donnell & Friends Social Hour. Wouldn’t it be mind-blowing if suddenly, the Aptitude lost some of that power? If they lost some of their swagger? If they lost those Tag Team Titles they hold so dear? Could you just even imagine?
Smith: Well certainly, that’s what is on the line in the Prison Cell Match. Mario, you’ve been one of the champions of this movement to save OCW’s heritage and stop the current youth movement from, as you put it, destroying OCW. What are your…
Mario Maurako (Interrupting): Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Time out. Who said I wanted to stop the youth movement? Have you seen the training happening in back of me at this very minute? Have you seen OCW Survivor?
~Paras whispers something to Maurako.~
Mario Maurako: Okay…bad example. But no, Smith, I don’t want to stop any youth movement. I want to stop exactly three types of people. Number one, people who suck…
Paul Paras: You know, it’s a funny thing—nobody likes people who suck. I feel like we could unite the world in nirvana if we all banded together against people who suck. I might include that in my next yoga DVD...
Mario Maurako: True. Number two, people who want to hurt OCW's legacy. And number three, people who are in Perfectly Marvelous’ way. And, would you look at that? It just so happens that Meyhu and Bishop are all three!
~Smith adjusts his tie nervously as Hood is screaming something at him at the table, despite his headset being shut off for this interview.~
Smith: Uhm… Mario, Hood here has requested I mention that those are some harsh words for the Aptitude, who currently hold the majority of the gold in OCW. Hood said it in some less…savory terms...but the point remains. Are you taking the Aptitude too lightly?
~Hood nods in accomplishment as Smith just glares at him.~
Mario Maurako: Don’t misunderstand me, Smith. We think very highly of the Amphitheater. They’re world class athletes and are probably all the rage in France or somewhere, and we know we’re in for a battle of a lifetime at Stainless Steel Ride. But for anyone who hasn’t been watching wrestling for the last fifteen years, let me remind you of one simple fact that will never change: we’re Perfectly Marvelous, and just us being here makes you suck. Smith, you know I'll defend OCW against anyone who tries to tear it down, and this time, I've got the Perfect partner here to deliberately devastate some ignorant asses.
~Paras shrugs in silent agreement and motions toward the camera, a look of knowing confidence across his face.~
Paul Paras: Incredible One… Marvel… you children have made a career playing Perfectly Marvelous dress-up. The Perfect One has seen you grow into what you are today, and the Perfect One sees where you’re headed, and that’s a one-way street to disappointment. All the people you’ve convinced to look up to you as names in this industry are only doing so because we were too high up in the clouds to see. If you try to rise to our level, rest assured your wings will melt, your eyes will burn, your titles will be ours, and whichever of you is fortunate enough to win the World Title that I once wore will never have the glory of leading this company down whatever holes you crawled out of. We’ll see to it personally, and it starts at Stainless Steel Ride. The Perfect One sees.
Mario Maurako: And the Marvelous One destroys. Boys, a little wrestling trivia for you: the last time PM won Tag Team gold, it was at HOW Rumble at the Rock inside Alcatraz itself. In fact, in three years of fighting shows in that godforsaken prison, neither of us ever lost a match. Prison doesn’t scare Paul and me. We’ve been through worse, and we survived. Ian and Meyhu, when you lose the Tag Team Titles to Perfectly Marvelous at Stainless Steel Ride… and you WILL lose… there won’t be anything worse for you.
~Both men jump down from the ring apron in unison as a team, Mario glowering into the camera and Paras gaining his viral smirk. They speak with determination, rather than arrogance.~
Paul Paras: Because you may be good…
Mario Maurako: You may be great…
Paul Paras: But you’re not…
Both: Perfectly Marvelous.
~The crowd roars in approval as the satellite feed cuts off. Smith fumbles to turn off the microphone and regains his headset as Hood’s audio returns to life in the middle of his ranting.~
Hood: ...assholes! I can’t believe they talked to Matt like that! Smith, you didn’t ask them how long they’re going to be retired again after they lose to Aptitude!
Smith: I’ll let you ask them that the next time you see them, Hood. In any event, Perfectly Marvelous are primed and ready for the Aptitude at Stainless Steel Ride, and I can’t wait to see what kind of brutality awaits these two teams as they do battle at the Louisiana State Penitentiary!
Hood: I hope Matt just locks both those geezers up and leaves them there to rot.
Smith: I doubt it’ll be that easy to take down the Hall of Famers. But we’ll see exactly what happens on June 19th! Let’s head backstage!
~We cut backstage. We're inside Mack O'Connor's dressing room, where Mack himself is sitting lacing up his boots. He hears a sudden loud knock at his door. Not sure who it might be, Mack slowly walks to the door and opens it. It is none other than Alice Knight holding what appears to be a basket~
Alice: Hey BIG Mack! What's up?
Mack: Doing okay, I guess. How's it going, Alice?
Alice: Pretty good. Pretty good. Looking forward to the Birdcage Match with Bobby Grenier next week at Stainless Steel Ride. I got all kinds of helmet protection lined up for the show. I have one in mind that is bad ass and owl-y. There's got to be a word for badass and owls. B'owls. And i'm going to release my B'owl infront of the OCW universe at S.S.R!
~Mack can't help but smile~
Mack: I'm sure there's a better way of phrasing that. But yeah, let that b'owl go free.
Alice: Anyway, I just thought it was super cool that you gave me that old school boxing like wrestling helmet last week. I liked it so much in fact that I wanted to return the favor. So I was out and about and I saw some stuff that made me think you'd like.
Mack: Okay?
~Alice barges in to his dressing room and sits down and digs in the basket. Mack shuts the door and sits next to her~
Alice: Firstly we have this laundry wicker basket that is perfect for doing laundry with. I got some hamster shavings and hamster food for your... hamster? I'm assuming you have one. If not... we'll look into it. Um...
~She digs further. Mack opens his mouth to stop her, but he politely stays silent~
Alice: A pack of Magic Markers and the DVD copy of the movie "Boiler Room" with Vin Diesel, Ben Affleck and Gioblaoney Rumuski. Do you like Gioblaoney Rumuski?
~Mack pauses~
Mack: Um... Yeah, he's my favorite.
Alice: Great! It's previously viewed but such a stellar film. And i got you this rad colorful Hawaiian shirt. I know it isn't your style. But I just thought it add some color to your wardrobe. Try it on.
~Mack looks at the shirt with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs, slowly putting on the shirt as Alice moves him towards the mirror in his dressing room~
Alice: Do you love it? Do you love it? IT LOOKS GREAT! I LOVE IT!
~Mack scratches his head. Alice puts down the wicker laundry hamper and gently fixes his NEW shirt collar and smiles~
Alice: Anyway I gotta run... thanks again. Take care Le Big Mack!
Mack: Yeah, you too. Good luck tonight.
Alice: You as well! Take care Le Big Mack!
~Alice walks out the door. Mack smiles, shaking his head. He glances back in the mirror at the shirt~
Mack: I guess it isn't too bad...
~He laughs again as he moves to his fridge to grab a beer. We shift back to ringside~
Smith: Haha OH ALICE! She’s the best…a Hawaiian shirt…what a great gift, I love those things
Hood: And just when Mack was becoming interesting again…fuckin shit…why Mack, why? Where are the Dravers? I was TOTALLY fine when she was hanging out with the Dravers
Smith: I think Mack needs someone like Alice…to soften him up a bit
Hood: Oh sure, yea, that’s what he needs…to soften up before Stainless Steel Ride…to soften up before stepping into the ring against men like CJ O’Donnell, The Incredible One, Levi Russow, Lukas Emery and, well, the always hardened Iggy Hardy…yea, great idea Smith…JUST GREAT
Smith: Nothing wrong with a friendly gift or two…it’s a sweet gesture.
Hood: Blah!
Smith: Alright, well, since your vocabulary has devolved into that of a four year old’s…how about we head down to ringside for our next match!
Nara Toshiro (0-0) vs. Tatum Coe (0-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring, from Miami Beach, Florida…Tatum Coe!
~Coe is in the ring. He’s dressed nicer than any jobber, ever. That’s about it. "Her Ghost in the Fog" by Cradle of Filth begins to play. The fans stand and watch. The unmasked Itsumade, Nara Toshiro makes his way to the ring. He’s focused, keeping an intense gaze on Coe. Coe doesn’t seem to mind. He’s just collecting a check…why he still does this is a question we’ve long asked and failed to receive an answer for. Toshiro ascends the steps and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Nara Prefecture, Japan…standing 5’10 and weighing in at 195lbs…Nara Toshiro!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Well, Hood…we’ve got Itsumade making his OCW return. Sure, the mask is gone…sure the most unique name in OCW history is no longer…
Hood: 2nd Smile
Smith: Huh?
Hood: THAT’S the most unique name in OCW history…that or J@mMy~J@Me$
Smith: Fine, whatever…semantics…the point is Itsumade is unmasked and he’s back!
Hood: Cool…you know me…I’m not much for masked people. But as far as masked people go, he was pretty-okay.
~Coe steps up to Toshiro. He looks him dead in the eye…which isn’t hard because Toshiro hasn’t taken his eyes off Coe since he emerged from behind the curtain. Coe nods, saying “I remember you.” Toshiro doesn’t care. Coe gives Toshiro a shove…Toshiro takes two steps back. He steps up to Coe, showing no signs of intimidation. Coe SLAPS Toshiro across the face, full of arrogance~
Smith: In 2014 Itsumade won the Oh you know what Contract. In 2014 Itsumade ALSO won the OCW Ascension Championship by defeating Mark Storm. In 2015 Itsumade and Black Puma faced Awe.Some for the OCW Tag Team Championship. Despite his brief number of appearances, Itsumade has had a profound impact on OCW’s history.
Hood: Wow, he did all that? Shit, I didn’t even realize. I guess Coe should stop slapping him around
Smith: Tatum Coe will be Tatum Coe
Hood: Well of course he’ll be Tatum Coe! Who else should he be…Tony the Spider?
Smith: Nevermind
~Coe shoves Toshiro in his left shoulder…Toshiro spins around and lunges forward with a Roaring Elbow!!! It blasts Coe right under the chin! Coe hits the corner, hard. He’s wincing, his head hurts…he reaches for his chin, inspecting the damage. He looks at Toshiro with surprise…he didn’t think Nara could hit that hard~
Smith: Nara is a tremendous striker. You don’t want to get caught in a slug fest with this guy
Hood: I bet Mack could kick his ass…or well could HAVE kicked his ass…before all this Hawaiian shirt nonsense
Smith: He might be the only man who could give Mack a run for his money. His kicks…
Hood: KICKS?! Fuck that shit. This is American…a land free of nonstop soccer coverage. Just look at American Football…we know where kickers belong. Get that kicking shit out of my face!
Smith: Wow, some deep rooted hatred of kicking and soccer
~Before Coe can exit the ring or get away…Toshiro throws a side kick into Coe’s gut, immobilizing him. Toshiro grabs Coe by his hair and drags him into the center of the ring. He lifts him up, high into the air and holds him there for a moment or three. Toshiro then drives Coe’s head straight into the mat with a Brainbuster!!! Coe flattens out as the crowd sounds impressed with Toshiro’s offense~
Smith: Nice strength by Toshiro…Coe may not be a big man…but he certainly isn’t a small man
Hood: You’re fucking retarded right now
Smith: What do you mean?
Hood: ‘Tatum Coe is Tatum Coe!’ ‘Tatum Coe may not be big…but he’s not small either!’
Smith: Leave me alone
~Toshiro kicks Coe onto his stomach. He then hooks Coe’s body with his legs and fish hooks Coe’s mouth!!! He leans back with a body scissors fish hook crossface!!! The fans cringe as it appears Toshiro is going to rip Coe’s mouth wide open. Coe immediately taps favoring aesthetic beauty over in ring performance. Toshiro lets go…not really seeing the point in maiming the man’s face. The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…NARA TOSHIRO!!!!!
Smith: Great win for Toshiro…he looks better than ever
Hood: Well, he finally took that fucking mask off and can see…it’s amazing what improved vision will do for a man
Smith: Or woman
Hood: Yea, sure, I guess
Smith: We’ll be seeing Nara take a step up in competition next week as he tries to regain the Oh Shit Contract…for now, however, he can enjoy this debut/return victory. Let’s head backstage!
~Coe is seen in the ring, furious. He looks toward the camera and says “Fuck this, I’m done.” He exits. We cut backstage~
~The OCW cameras transition to backstage as The Incredible One continues to search for “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu. TIO looks through a few more locker rooms and common areas, starting to get visibly frustrated. He finally comes to a new door labelled “Private - Invite Only” that he hasn’t seen before and rubs his chin. He knocks a couple times but no answer. Finally, TIO just takes his foot and breaks the door down, to reveal Meyhu’s girl Tiffany shocked to see TIO. TIO looks around the room to see it decked out in comfortable chairs, food platters, and slow chill music~
TIO: So this is where Meyhu has been hiding, eh? Is he in here? I’m a member of the Aptitude, how do I not know about this room?
Tiffany: It doesn’t say ‘Aptitude’ on the door. No, he’s not here.
TIO: Well where the hell is he? I need to talk to him - he’s got some explaining to do as to why he ditched me in front of Perfectly Marvelous - and we need to TRY and get on the same page for this tag match…
~TIO goes to leave but he stops, thinking for a moment, before turning back around~
TIO: ...What has he been saying about me, to you?
~Tiffany smirks at TIO~
Tiffany: I don’t think you wanna know.
TIO: Why? You don’t think I can stomach it? Tiffany - if there is anyway we can mend this post Stainless Steel Ride, I need to know. Just tell me.
Tiffany: You know what… I’m sure he’ll be a very forgiving champion.
~TIO shakes his head as the crowd whoops from the comment made by Tiffany~
TIO: Listen, I didn’t come here to argue with you over who a better champion would be… but… since I am here with you now, why don’t I ask you a question: Do you actually think Meyhu deserves to be OCW’s top champion? He just wants it to add a notch to his belt - he doesn’t care about the prestige of the title. Why should someone like that be champion?
~Tiffany gets up from her seat and walks toward TIO, glaring~
Tiffany: The same could be asked about you. Now, I don't think you got an invite.
TIO: I have worked my ass off since day one coming here to be the top person of OCW. Since the days of battling Casablanca for the Central title, or it be Stone and Bell at Clash at the Coast, and now this year, this is the second big card of the year and once again I am in the main event. Tiffany, you maybe biased because you are with Meyhu, but damn it, if you can’t see that I would be ten times the champion Meyhu could be, you’re a blind follower… now I’m going to ask you one more time… WHERE IS MEYHU?!
~Tiffany points toward the door~
Tiffany: Not here. Now get out.
TIO: Just… if you do happen to see Meyhu, can you deliver a message to him?
~Without waiting for Tiffany to respond, TIO grabs Tiffany by the face and plants a kiss! He holds the kiss for a few seconds before Tiffany frees herself and responds with a wicked smack to the face. She starts screaming for TIO to get out, pushing him away as TIO laughs and walks out of the locker room~
Smith: TIO reverting back to his old ways...I don't think Meyhu is going to like that
Hood: It's her word against his...and we all know how women are natural born liars
Smith: Hood, it's on video...we all just saw it
Hood: Damnit
Smith: The Aptitude continues to crumble...I just don't see how they survive intact...in this format post Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART
Smith: Yea, yea, sure sure...well folks, it's time for our next match...let's head down to ringside!
Assassin (2-3) vs. PKA (1-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall…
~Suddenly "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit hits the PA System and out from the curtain emerges the Ultraviolent Perfectionist - "Grade A" PKA, dressed in all black. A black vest over a shirtless top accompanied by black shorts, boots, and wrist bands. He snarls as he confidently walks down the aisle and slides into the ring. PKA climbs up the turnbuckle and puts his arms out in a crucifix as the fans watch his every move. The camera focuses in on his black hair, his face, his black eyeliner, the intensity in PKA's eyes. He hops off the turnbuckle and he hits the opposite corner to do another pose, arms out in a crucifix. After soaking in the fans' reaction, he hops off the turnbuckle and his music fades out~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Wichita, Kansas…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 200lbs…PKA!!!
~the arena lights go out for a moment as we hear a girl's voice scream out “I Hate Everybody” as the opening of “Walking on Bodies” echoes over the PA. After a moment we see Assassin come through the curtain to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Assassin stops midway down the ramp as he cracks a smile looking out at the booing crowd. Assassin continues down the ramp as he reaches the bottom looking at the ring for a brief moment as he looks at the crowd once more before climbing onto the apron and through the ropes. Once in the ring Assassin fakes going towards a corner and instead stands in the middle of the ring turning to his side as he points out towards the crowd and laughs~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 280lbs…Assassin!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Both competitors desperately…DESPERATELY need this win
Hood: Yea, Assassin didn’t really do so hot last week, did he?
Smith: Nope…and PKA was involved in a CANCELLED match…those are never good for the resume
Hood: Well let’s hope one of them can win
Smith: Indeed!
~PKA and Assassin lock up. The bigger Assassin pins PKA against the ropes. PKA knees Assassin in the gut, knowing what happens when a person is pinned against the ropes like that…so, he strikes first. Assassin doubles over. PKA tosses him through the ropes…Assassin lands relatively harmlessly on the outside. PKA runs across the ring…he hits the ropes, bounces off and sprints toward Assassin…he performs a Suicide Dive through the ropes, spearing his body into Assassin!!! Assassin barrels into the barricade as PKA manages to land on his feet. He motions towards the crowd, they give him a favorable response~
Smith: Nice start for PKA…we’ve had high hopes for him since his signing…unfortunately it just hasn’t materialized like any of us hoped
Hood: Yea, after that Jacqui Monroe ordeal he hasn’t been the same
Smith: Indeed he hasn’t
Hood: Although I can’t blame him…Monroe is nasty
Smith: Be nice
~PKA pulls Assassin upright and hurls him into the ring. PKA hurries to his feet and pulls Assassin up…he goes to whip Assassin into the ropes…Assassin reverses and he DRILLS PKA with a Short-Arm Clothesline!! PKA hits the mat hard!! Assassin stands over PKA breathing heavily, recovering from PKA’s initial onslaught~
Smith: Tremendous reversal by Assassin…he’s a really big man, Hood. One of the biggest on the roster
Hood: Yea, he’s almost 300 lbs…that’s a lot of bacon
Smith: How do you know he eats bacon?
Hood: Everybody eats bacon, even vegans…they just don’t admit it
~Assassin pulls PKA to his feet and boots him in the stomach. PKA doubles over…Assassin hooks PKA’s head and lifts him up…he holds him in the air before dropping him to the mat with a mind scrambling brainbuster!!! PKA sits up for a moment before falling onto his back, concussed. Or, as you might say…his brain is busted! Assassin returns to his feet~
Smith: I get the sense Assassin is in total control and on the verge of putting PKA away
Hood: Gee, what gave you that inclination…the fact that you have EYES?
Smith: You never know, PKA could rally
Hood: I don’t think so, Smith
~Assassin picks PKA up and hoists him over his shoulder…he then drives PKA head first into the mat with One Winged Angel!!! PKA is out. Assassin goes for the pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ASSASSIN!!!!!
Smith: Big win for Assassin…he needed that moving forward
Hood: Yea, I thought he was done after last week but, hey, kudos to the guy…he fought back
Smith: Indeed…well…let’s move on and head backstage!
~We cut backstage. EE is seated in his office organizing tiny, tedious items. Barry Man is Low looks down at his angst filled movements~
Barry Man is Low: It looks fine.
EE: Is no fine! Welsh be here any minute! I need place looking span as spick!
Barry Man is Low: Right.
~Barry Man is Low rolls his eyes as we all do. Puffer isn’t returning with Welsh anytime soon. Everybody BUT EE realizes that. There is a knock at the door. Barry answers…Mack O’Connor steps in with a piece of paper in his hand and a Hawaiian shirt covering his body~
EE: What this? This location of great man Welsh?
Mack O’Connor: No. It’s my list. My list of moves for Carrington. You know, for our Checklist Match?
EE: Oh, yea, haha! I am in the know on this for sure! Thank you O’Connor! You are great man with no hair! I hope your luck is good in the event that is main!
Mack O'Connor: Sure.
EE: Shirt is very nice! I like! I have many at home...you man of great taste!
~Mack looks sick. He decides the less said- the better. While exiting we see him remove the shirt. We get a look at the list~
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Well there's Mack's list...it's a good looking list!
Hood: I guess...Mack sure does have aggressive handwriting
Smith: Indeed he does...but it's legible so that's all that counts
Hood: How is Carrington going to pick him up for all those moves? Carrington isn't THAT big
Smith: Hence the conundrum that is the Checklist match. If Carrington wants to win...he'll have to find a way
Hood: Aptitude getting fucked continuously tonight. Bring back Welsh!!!
~The scene opens up backstage, in Lukas Emery’s locker room. He is joined by his girlfriend, and fellow OCW wrestler Josie Barnes who has the night off. He’s also joined by his sister, Amelia, who is sitting on the couch with her face pretty much buried in her phone. They are there to give him support, as Josie looks at him, as she had a look of concern on her face..~
Josie: Are you really sure I will be fine back here during your match?
Lukas: Yes, I’m sure. You won’t be by yourself. Tex will be outside the door, and Amelia will be there with you, along with Emma I’m sure.
~ Amelia looks up from her phone for a second. ~
Amelia: Yeah, I’m sure no one’s going to try anything.
~Josie looks at them both, as she nods her head.~
Josie: Sure as long as Tex doesn’t fall asleep at the door. Still sucks both you, and Levi are in the match so I need others..
Lukas: Well that’s why we have friends. You’ll be fine, I promise.
~ He walks over and gives her a hug to re-assure her. ~
Lukas: You trust me, right?
~ She nods her head yes, as she looks at him. ~
Josie: Well yeah I trust you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be with you..
Lukas: Then trust me when I say you’re going to be fine. I’m making sure of it. I have both of you here, I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you.
~ He glances over at Amelia, who is smiling at her phone. ~
Lukas: What are you smiling at?
Amelia: Oh, nothing.
Lukas: Who are you talking to?
Amelia:....Emma…
Lukas: You DO realize she’s married...right? To one of my best friends, at that.
Amelia: I know...I’m just having fun...it’s nothing serious. Besides, it’s kinda fun to get Levi so worked up.
~ Lukas just rolls his eyes, as Josie lets out a giggle. ~
Josie: It is actually funny watching them get him all worked up. Least it’s Emma, and not CJ.
~ Josie looks at Lukas as she could see his expression, as she stops giggling. ~
Lukas: Yeah...about that…
~ Suddenly, Amelia bursts out in laughter. ~
Amelia: Bahahaha awww...Josie, you have to see this.
~ She gets up and walks over to Josie, showing her her phone, which has a picture Emma sent to her of Levi and his son, Jack, riding Levi like a donkey. ~
Amelia: Isn’t that precious?
Josie: It is precious….
~ She looks down though after looking at it. She looks back up after a few minutes, as she looks at Amelia. ~
Josie: He is least a good Dad.
~ Amelia notices Josie’s mood change so she puts her phone back. ~
Amelia: Should I have not shown that?
Josie: It’s fine really Amelia. Maybe a topic for another time.
~ She smiles at her, before looking at Lukas. ~
Josie: You ready to go out there, and win?
Lukas: We’ll see. I mean I am, just hope we can make it to the triple threat. I know CJ and I will hold up our part...Hardy…
Amelia: Youuuu really don’t like that guy, do you?
~ Lukas looks at Amelia. ~
Lukas: I want to stab him repeatedly in the eyes with a fork.
Amelia: Soooo that’s a no. Gotcha.
~ Lukas looks back at Josie. ~
Lukas: I’m going to make him pay for everything he’s said about you. He’s gonna learn to not talk about you like that.
Amelia: Arrrre you gonna do that to EVERY guy that says something about her?
Lukas: Iggy has done this over and over again. It’d be different if it was just a one-off comment, but he has continually degraded and disrespected Josie...so tonight he gets his head kicked in.
Amelia: Fair enough.
~ Josie nods her head agreeing with him. ~
Josie: Iggy is Iggy, honestly doubt he can be respectful in anyway. Just sucks I lost to him at the last minute. Just so close.
Lukas: Well, I’ll get some payback for ya tonight, how’s that sound?
Josie: Sounds good, and fitting Mr. Protector. Once you do, we can go home and…..
~ She stops talking as she glances over at Amelia. Amelia just lets out a sigh. ~
Amelia: I really need someone to hang out with while you two...yeah.
Lukas: I’m sure you’ll find someone, sis.
Amelia: I mean, I’m just looking to have some fun, y’know? Nothing too serious. I’m too busy for anything serious between here and London and the nightclubs. Besides, main reason I’m here anyway is to watch my big bro kick some ass and get the big win.
~ She nudges Lukas on the arm. ~
Lukas: I appreciate it, really.
Amelia: You okay?
Lukas: Just getting focused is all.
Amelia: You got this, right Josie?
Josie: Yeah you do….. You are going to go out there, beat all five of them. Show them you are a force to be reckon with.
Amelia: And then after, go and drink Levi under the table, and make him pay for it.
~ Josie and Lukas look at Amelia with raised eyebrows. ~
Amelia: Oh, don’t think I didn’t see that bet you two have going, loser buys the drinks. I’m gonna need you to win, and then get him drunk so it frees up Emma for a little fun…
Lukas: That’s horrible!
Amelia: Ohhhh c’mon you KNOW I’m kidding….maybe.
Josie: Maybe yes. It’s ok, it’s all in fun.
~ Josie laughs, as she looks at Lukas. ~
Josie: Without the whole bet, you will do fine. No matter what happens, I will still be proud of you. You made it further than I did.
Lukas: You’ll get there, love. You’re doing great in training. You’re learning. So just be patient.
Josie: I am patient. Even though you have chance of facing all three who beat me in singles matches so…..
~ Josie laughs softly, as she smiles at him. ~
Josie: Still just go out there, have a good match babe.
Lukas: Tis the plan, my dear.
~ He pulls her in close and gives her a kiss on the forehead. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. ~
Amelia: That’s probably Emma, Tex, and the kids.
Lukas: I best get going, then. It’s almost time for the match. Wish me luck.
Amelia: Best of luck, bro.
Josie: Good luck out there babe.
~ Josie smiles at him, as he opens the door to head out, as the scene fades out ~
Smith: That is a wonderful relationship budding before our very eyes
Hood: She's going to ruin Lukas...and to think, I had such high hopes for that guy
Smith: She will not...behind every great man is a woman!
Hood: Right where they belong, BEHIND. Josie isn't standing behind anyone...that bitch wants gold as much as Lukas
Smith: Well she is a fighter, I know that. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Regardless...his hate for Iggy is strong
Hood: Not as strong as Iggy's arms
Smith: Indeed...will that cost them a shot at advancing to phase 2?
Hood: I doubt it...I think Lukas is enough of a competitor to put that shit aside. If not, well, the bitch is already holding him back
Smith: We'll find out later tonight...in the meantime, we've got Grenier set to take on the Lockwood Party and, well, I'm a little interested to see how this goes down...
~The arena goes black again. Attention is once again directed to the screen. A video begins to play. The video showcases all of Bob's achievements and classic OCW moments. Pinning Itsumade for The Internet Championship. He is then thrown from the top of the Green Monster in Fenway Park, Hung from the rafters by Chad Vargas and saved by Mack O'Connor. We see footage of The Power & Worth days where Bob lays out various OCW stars with a claw hammer. Clips are shown of the Internet Title on a Cross Match from Jerusalem, The Steel Cage Ladder match from Clash at The Coast and Bob Grenier vs Curt Canon. Bob also wins a Penalty Box Match vs Mack O'Connor and PerZag to become #1 Contender. The very last clip shown is from Hood Rich, Where the OCW Championship is strapped around his waist~
Leo: We're back with The Last White Hope of OCW, His eminence.. Bob Grenier. Let's play a little word association. I'm going to name off OCW Wrestlers and you tell me the first word that comes to mind...
Bob: Ok.
Leo: Ian Bishop.
Bob: Overrated.
Leo: Perzag.
Bob: Quitter.
Leo: Alice Knight
Bob: Delusional.
Leo: Mack O'Connor.
Bob: Life saver.
Leo: MJ Bell.
Bob: Anal.
Leo: Chad Vargas.
Bob: Bastard.
Leo: CJ O'Donnell
Bob: Thin mints.
Leo: The Lockwood Party
Bob: Family.
Leo: Online Championship Wrestling.
Bob: Home.
~The camera pans to the OCW Championship that is still in Bob's possession. This is the one in which the title of champion was taken from him. He keeps this championship on his coffee table as a solid reminder of where he once was~
Bob: That championship on the table, It's the real OCW Championship and I really don't care what anyone says in regards to that. I was never beaten for it. I'm not going to sit here and bitch and moan like I did in the past because that shit got me nowhere fast. I'm just going to start beating people up. Nobody is safe from The Mutiny. It starts with Alice this Sunday. One day soon enough I will be OCW Champion again and behind me will be a trail of dead careers.
Leo: Since the relaunch of Online Championship Wrestling you've been suffering physically, emotionally and mentally. Some would say at the age of 31, You've lost your edge. What would you say to that?
Bob: I haven't lost a goddamn thing. I've lost some matches, Shit happens. The talent in this place get's better every single day. Online Championship Wrestling is a decensean workhouse in which I still call the shots. It's about time everyone became aware of this fact. Whether in victory or defeat, Whether the assholes in the stands boo or cheer me I am the reason they show up. For the last 3 years I've been that reason and I will continue to be that reason until someone padlocks the doors on this dump. All the "greats" in this company.. Ian Bishop.. Alice Knight.. PerZag.. Chad Vargas.. At one point or another each of these individuals have left for one reason or another. They've left due to "injury" or some other whackjob, half assed excuse they come up with while I've ALWAYS been here. PerZag tried to fucking kill himself for fuck sakes and he comes back sucking the teat being treated like a first ballot hall of famer.. He's weak. There are a lot of f*****g pussies on this roster, and the list of alumni.. Don't get me started, I could go on forever. Half the hall of fame are can't hack it has beens who never were. For 3 years I've been here every step of the way, I've been loyal to this company and now it's just time I start stepping on people on my way back to the top.
~The lights go dark and "Everybody Dies" by J. Cole blasts through the arena~
~Bob Grenier emerges in all his glory. He still sports his Alice Knight Retirement Tour 2017 T-Shirt. On the back is a list of dates with Stainless Steel Ride being the last stop. The crowd voices dissaproval as he makes his way down the aisle. He jaws with some fans and face palms some woman holding a sign that reads "Grenier is a Moron". He is pelted with a full beer as he climbs into the ring. He demands a microphone and is given one~
Bob: So apparently tonight, I have to wrestle the only guys in this company who have my back, The Lockwood Party but it was not a binding agreement, There wasn't even so much as a handshake so I outright refuse!
~One fan begins to chant "Chicken Shit" and soon the whole audience chants it in unison. Bob looks like he is about to cry~
Bob: I'm not a chickenshit! I just refuse to maim my friends. You can try to take away my ability to challenge for any OCW Championship but that will never hold up in a court of law.. Welsh. This is bullshit!
~We cut to backstage and Bob watches as Barry Man is Low and The Lockwood Party speak~
Barry Man is Low: Look, EE says you guys have to go out there. You're holding up the show. Bob made a deal and now he's going to honor it. You have 5 minutes or you are both fired.
Jack and Tom look at each other and shrug. They both chuckle a little bit.
Jack: I guess it won't be so bad.
Tom: Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who gets to hit him first?
Jack: No Irish Car Bombs or Katana's though. Just straight RPS Biafra, No funny business.
~Tom and Jack play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Tom's paper covers Jack's rock~
Barry: Good, Good luck out there guys.
~The Lockwood Party leave and begin to walk towards the ring. Bob is standing in the ring dealing with a barrage of insults being hurled his way. Bob looks to be in the midst of another child like fit~
Bob: I refuse! I refuse to wrestle inside of a birdcage, I refuse to wrestle The Lockwood Party! None of this is happening! I'm Bob F*****G Grenier! Former champion and the reason you are all in this arena tonight.
~Without music The Lockwood Party make thier way down the aisle. They are speaking to each other as they enter the ring~
Bob: Guys, We're friends. We don't have to do this. We can find another way.
~Tom grabs the microphone~
Tom: Bob, We DO have to do this. Bosses orders.
~Jack slaps Bob and Tom whips him into the ropes, Tom back body drops Bob and Jack hits a leg drop. They pick Bob up but he fights them both off with elbows to the stomach. Back on his feet, Bob ducks a Jack Lockwood clothesline and hits the ropes, nailing him on the way back with a springboard stunner. With Jack down, Tom and Bob begin to slug it out. The lights all of a sudden go out and "Electrified" by Dressy Bessy hits. Bob and Tom are looking around and Jack begins to make it to his feet when they hear Alice Knight~
Alice: Hey Bob! Hey! I'm up here! Look harder!
~A spotlight circles the crowd and she is unseen. Bob and The Lockwood's continue to look around. All of a sudden an Owlie Mascots appears in the ring! Owlie grabs Tom and hits a Claymore! Grenier doesn't know what's going as Owlie then hits Jack with a Hollow Point! Bob drops to his knees in the middle of the ring, begging to be spared. The Owlie doesn't strike and Bob does not notice Alice Knight on a swing being lowered from the ceiling directly above him! Bob is still on his knees, waving his hands and begging like an idiot when the owlie mascot take off the heads and it's Mack O'Connor! The crowd is going apeshit! They break out into the classic "This is Awesome!" chant. Mack leaves the ring smiling and the swing is right behind Bob, there is a a worried look on his face as he realizes something is up. Bob slowly turns around and see's Alice above him. She jumps from the swing and nails Bob with a spinning heel kick. She then mounts him and begins hitting him with lefts and rights. Mack looks on halfway down the ramp while the crowd eats it up and they begin to chat "OWL IS NIGHT". Alice grabs Bob and lifts him into the air, drilling him with his own finisher, The Hollinger Park Hangman. As The Lockwood's and Bob are laid out all over the ring, Alice grabs a mic~
Alice: Bobby, for no reason you've been really mean to me. So I can't wait to settle this inside of the bird cage, I think it will be really fun teaching you a valuable lesson in humility and respect! I know you're pretty unhappy about the stipulation but I think you'll really like it and the match will be a classic.
~"Electrified" by Dressy Bessy plays again. Mack points to Alice and she points back before he leaves. She climbs the top rope and the crowd chants her name as Bob and The Lockwood Party slowly roll out of the ring. The camera gets a closeup of Bob clutching his neck~
Smith: Way to go, Alice! Way to fight back! Alright! And what a guy Mack is turning out to be, helping Alice in her time of need
Hood: 100% GARBAGE. I'd turn my TV off if I were at home
Smith: This is what OCW is all about...c'mon everybody OWL! IS! NIGHT!
Hood: Fuck this shit...take us backstage, now!!!
~We cut backstage. EE is pinning Mack’s list to a bulletin board. There is a knock at the door. Barry answers…it’s BRADLEY CARRINGTON. He’s got the Paradigm Championship over his shoulder and a sheet of paper in his hand~
Bradley Carrington: Hey boss. I’m just delivering my list. I think it’s a sophisticated array of moves designed to increase the prestige of the Paradigm Championship. You know, I was thinking…hey, wait a minute…is that Mack’s list?
~EE darts over, covering Mack’s list with his body~
EE: No way in the jose! That is grocery list. I need juice from the grapefruit. Why you carry TIO’s belt?
Bradley Carrington: Oh, haha…I’m just holding onto it for safe keeping. No big deal, trust me. No big deal at all.
EE: You leave now?
Bradley Carrington: Oh, yea, sure! Here’s my list. See you guys next week!
~Carrington hands over his list. We get a good look at it~
~EE and Barry look at the list~
EE: His hand moves like the angel!
Barry Man is Low: That is some spectacular penmanship
EE: You pin list to board. I need see if Puffer make it to Louisiana yet!
~Barry does as he's told. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: Well we've got our lists! I have to say...I think Mack's going to have a tougher time with his list than Carrington
Hood: Carrington might need to hit the weights. Perhaps call Iggy for some training tips
Smith: I wouldn't advise that to anyone...
Smith: And now let’s take a closer look at a man that seems to have captured the attention of all of us in OCW, THIS IS...Levi Russow.
~The video starts rolling as Levi walks into the black backdrop-clad room and sits down taking a deep breath~
Levi Russow: So do I just...is this like the “Tell me about your mother” kinda deal?
~A video showing Levi’s early wrestling years begins playing as he speaks over it and it cuts back to him every now and again~
Levi Russow: I don’t...OFFICIALLY or whatever know what my real birthday is. Unofficially the orphanage just picked February 16th 198-something. I was born in a small village just outside of Nome, Alaska to a pair of fucking nightmares that blamed me for ruining their lives. I was about ten when I hid my younger brother Jesse and I away in this cargo truck that took us eventually to New York. I didn’t know where we’d live, I didn’t know what we’d do, I just knew “okay...mommy and daddy hate us…”
~It cuts back to Levi who kinda shakes off the bad memories.~
Levi Russow: I guess you could say I always had a thick skin...uhh...the beatings stopped working so to punish me...they would sit me in a chair and make me watch as they beat my brother. So it was just kind of a “y’know what? They talk about a cousin in New York.” and it just...clicked. Like, that’s it...they don’t want us? Anyone’s bound to be better than them.
~We see the exterior of a building called St. Christopher’s Orphanage~
Levi Russow: Turned out the cousin wasn’t much better...we wound up in this Hell hole until I was about fourteen and just decided y’know...someone would adopt Jesse. And someone would adopt Dan...this other little orphan we took under our wing. And this is all just semantics, he’s just as much of a brother to me as Jesse is...s’why he goes by Russow. They were both a lot younger than me so I thought they’d be okay...but no one wants a 14 year old orphan and I wasn’t really a fan of being hit anymore so I just…*whistles* I split. Ended up living on the streets of Manhattan until I was 16.
~We see Levi standing in a cold, wet alleyway~
Levi Russow: It was very much a fight for survival out here...if a bum thought you had anything of value or he wanted your sleeping spot, he’d jump you as soon as your eyes closed. If you wanted a decent meal you had to snatch it and run as fast as you could. Full grown men, stray dogs, the Police...you had to learn very trial by fire out here and often times...y’know you’d get the shit kicked out of you and you could either lie there and die or...just fight.
~We see Levi sitting in a ring while a class is going on looking around a dusky old building~
Levi Russow: I was 16 when Papa Ferguson fighting a man twice my size trying to steal his car…
~The scene cuts to Sex Ferguson sitting in the same area talking to the camera~
Sex Ferguson: And my dad had his little wrestling school and promotion at the time. I don’t know if it was just fate or happenstance but we’d just finished...he’d let me clean the floor and learn what I could from the boys.
Levi Russow: He said “Imma give you a choice...I can either call the cops and you can run...or you can show up tomorrow morning and learn how to defend yourself.” And I said…”fuck it! Sign me up!”
Sex Ferguson: And you could see it when he first got there that...there was something special. It was just a matter of putting it all together.
~A montage then plays of the ever-successful career Levi would go on to have as Levi speaks on~
Levi Russow: That first bump, I was hooked. It was just “okay...well...this doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as what I’ve been dealing with and it’s...it’s kinda fun!” and we were just off to the races.
Sex Ferguson: He’s a five time Hall of Famer, held over 40 Heavyweight championships from working five...six territories at a time, and he’s not even out of his 30’s? The story of Levi Russow is somethin’ special, brother.
Levi Russow: And now I’m here in OCW. I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m in the best place of my life...and I really don’t see anyone on this roster, talented as it is, that’s gonna be able to stop me...s’real life, y’know?
~Levi starts to laugh as Ferguson flies in off camera and picks up the entire chair swinging him around as the screen reads “To Be Continued” as we go back to the arena~
~ The camera goes back to ringside and you see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell standing inside the ring with a microphone in his hand. CJ is in the center of the ring as the crowd begins to boo him. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “For the last four weeks I have been calling out legends but the only one who had the balls to say something to me was Curt “I Play With My Monkey” Canon. And when I get my hands on Checkers I swear to God I am going to put him in a crate and send him to Antarctica to be at the zoo there. I heard they need a monkey exhibit.”
~Figure 8 by Trust Company begins to play as Curt Canon makes his way to the entrance ramp with Checkers sitting calmly on his shoulder.~
Curt Canon: “Oh CJ, didn't you learn anything from your time in the Amazon? You don't mess with OCW legends, you can't win. I will admit though whacking me in the back of the head with a shillelagh was a pretty good idea, my old aching body doesn't quite recover like it used to. That however will be the one and only time you get the best of me.”
~ CJ smirks at Curt as he leans back into the corner. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “I guess you can say I am glutton for punishment. So come on Canon, finish me off at Stainless Steel Ride. I mean that is if you think you are man enough to finish the job off by yourself and not with the help of the other OCW legends. Prove your legend status here...”
~ Curt starts to walk further down the entrance ramp, he stops halfway down. Checkers climbs off of his shoulder and continues to make his way toward the ring. He climbs onto the apron and hops to the top rope sitting there staring at CJ. ~
Curt Canon: “I don't need help from anybody Caleb legend or not. I have taken down bigger, stronger, faster and tougher than you. If the only way to finally shut your mouth and put you in your place is a match at Stainless Steel Ride then so be it. OCW Hall of Famer Curt Canon vs The weakest member of The Aptitude CJ O’Donnell. It has a nice ring to it, but I think it needs more.”
CJ O’Donnell: “I am glad you think that because I say it should be a ladder match. But not only that it should be for custody of Checkers. I mean I was the one who found him in the Amazon and all it's not like you were looking for him day and night like I was. You know Curt I expected better from you. To align yourself with men like Mario, Paul, Lurrr and Vargas just to prove a point. I thought you were a man of your word but obviously you are just a coward like the rest of the legends.”
~ Curt heads back down the entrance ramp and finally makes it to the ring. He walks up the ring steps and stops at the turnbuckle that Checkers is sitting on. He looks at checkers and sees the fear in his eyes because of CJs stipulation. Curt rubs Checkers back and gives him a look that says don't worry. He steps into the ring and becomes face to face with CJ. ~
Curt Canon: “Cowards! Cowards! Let me explain something to you CJ. This company was built on the blood sweat and tears of these people you call cowards. You wouldn't be able to walk a day in any of their shoes, hell CJ you would barely be able to walk a day in my shoes and you have the audacity to sit here and call the people who made your position in this company possible cowards. Lurrr the first ever OCW Champion, Perfectly Marvelous the two time OCW Hall of Famers and the Former OCW Heavyweight Champion Chad Vargas are the far from cowards. What have you have you done here Caleb? What great feats have you accomplished? You think attempting to take out the legends of this company is going to cement your place in the history books. You won't have the chance. I am not only fighting for ownership of Checkers but I am fighting for all the OCW legends. At Stainless Steel Ride your legend killer charade gets put to an end before it can even begin.”
~ CJ yawns after that spiel from Canon. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “And people say I talk a lot…”
~ CJ shoves Canon. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Now get the fuck out of my face before you don't make it to Stainless Steel Ride.”
~ Curt regains his balance and looks up at Checkers. They both nod to each other in unison. Curt then slowly turn his head toward CJ, charges and takes him down to the mat. Canon begins to pound away at the forehead of CJ as O’Donnell puts both up his forearms to block the shots. Curt hesitates for a split second and CJ takes this opportunity to thumb Canon in the eye. As Curt covers up his right eye CJ pushes himself out and then strikes Canon with a knee to the face which sends him down to the mat. CJ backs up into the corner and is waiting for Curt to get up to his feet. Checkers then steps in front of Curt and holds out his arm telling CJ to stay in the corner. Canon is on his feet but has his back turned to CJ as O’Donnell goes charging at him. Checkers tries to stop CJ but he jumps over Checkers and Curt then leaps up in the air and connects with a Pele Kick that staggers The Distinguished One. Curt shakes out the cobwebs and places O’Donnell in an inverted facelock then he spins under the opponent while holding the facelock, twisting CJ into the cutter position. Canon gets up and raises his arms in the air as he stands over The Distinguished. ~
Smith: Curt Canon just got one over on CJ O’Donnell!!
Hood: More Aptitude getting fucked!! This night is awful!
Smith: And we’ve got Canon against CJ next Monday at Stainless Steel Ride…a ladder match!
Hood: With Checkers up for grabs!
Smith: Yea that part of the match makes me uneasy
Hood: CJ’s got this…he’s so money!
Smith: We will see…this lineup is the best in OCW history and we’re just one week away. I’m told we’ve got something going on backstage…let’s check it out!
~We cut to the backlot and see a limo pull up to the arena. The limo parks and Carrington, with Autumn around his arm and the Paradigm Title over his shoulder, heads toward the back door. He waits, demanding the driver open the door for him. Autumn finally sighs and reaches for the handle. Carrington turns around while Autumn opens the door and looks at the OCW Arena, taking in a long, triumphant breath of Key West air. He hears a thump behind him. He turns and sees Amber on the ground with two hooded figures next to her. Before he can attack in rage, he gets tapped on the shoulder. He turns to see two more figures behind him, one is holding a wet cloth~
Hooded figure: Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
~The figure shoves the rag over the nose and mouth of Carrington, who struggles a bit but eventually succumbs to the liquid drug. The hooded figures then carry off the duo as we cut to Hood and Smith~
Smith: Someone attacked Carrington…my goodness
Hood: And Summer, don’t forget about his chick Summer
Smith: Autumn!
Hood: Summer, Autumn, Fall, Winter…who gives a shit. All I know is Carrington has not done a great job looking over that title for TIO
Smith: Well that can’t be argued…I wonder…wait, never mind…I’m being told Meyhu just witnessed what went down…let’s hurry back and see what he plans to do!
~Meyhu is sprinting out of the arena. He reaches the lot and can’t find Carrington, Autumn or the Paradigm Title. Meyhu rushes up to the limo and feels around the exterior~
Matt Meyhu: At least the limo is okay.
~He hears something and turns around. It’s nothing, just a piece of equipment sliding to the ground. The hooded figures are nowhere to be found. He looks around…he feels the scene and comes to a realization~
Matt Meyhu: They wanted to draw us out here!
~Meyhu runs for the door and enters back into the OCW Arena. He rushes down the hall and reaches the Aptitude locker room. He kicks the door open. The place has been destroyed. Clothes and personal belongings have been toss around, and glitter has been thrown everywhere. Meyhu walks in and starts raging at the sight. He looks around and notices that only C.J. O'Donnell's locker has been left alone. At that exact moment CJ walks in, looking pleased that Canon accepted his match for SSR~
Meyhu: Well?
O'Donnell: Well what? The segment? Yea, I drew Canon right in, didn’t I? Ladder match at Stainless Steel Ride against a Hall of Famer…can’t wait.
Meyhu: No, not that. Why is your stuff left alone and the rest of ours is covered in this glitter shit?
O'Donnell: How the hell should I know? Maybe one of those mask fucks just want my dick or something. Maybe they know better than to mess with me.
Meyhu: Maybe you could be one of them! Maybe you could be a mole.
O'Donnell: Maybe you could be high from all this glitter in the air. You sound paranoid as hell!
~The two continue arguing with each other as TIO is missing from the situation, keeping his distance from Meyhu. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: The Hooded Figures are here! They’ve already done something with Carrington, destroyed the Aptitude’s locker room and now…who knows where they are or what they have planned!
Hood: I kinda like these hooded figures
Smith: WHAT?!
Hood: They’re going right after the top talent in OCW. Shows balls
Smith: What if they are women?
Hood: Oh well then they are delusional and I hate them with a fierce passion
Smith: I figured…with two Aptitude members in tonight’s Main Event you have to figure that somehow…someway the Hooded Figures will make their presence felt
Hood: No doubt…so is that match about to start or what?
Smith: Almost…first, how about we run down next week’s lineup. Stainless Steel Ride…it will go down as the greatest event in OCW history!
LIVE! Monday, June 19th 2017
From The Louisiana State Penitentiary in St Francisville, Louisiana
OCW Championship
OCW Savage Championship
OCW Paradigm Championship
Ascension Championship
Oh Shit Contract
OCW Tag Team Championship
Special Attraction: One Night Only
Alice Knight Retirment Tour 2017 Special
Special Attraction: Legendary Challenge
Escape the Prison Match
The Incredible One (c) vs. "The Marvel" Matt Meyhu (c)
Imprisonment Match
Iggy Hardy vs. Rebel
Checklist Match
"The Professor" Bradley Carrington vs. Mack O'Connor
Retrieve The Belt Match
Damian K' (c) vs. Robbie 'Aire' Rayder
In and Out Lumberjack Match
Ed Houston, Jack Lockwood, Jade Spritz, Josie Barnes, Levi Russow, Lukas Emery, Nara Toshiro, PKA, Talia Areano
Prison Cell Match
The Aptitude (c) vs. Perfectly Marvelous
3 Stages of Hardcore Match
Julliet Brooks vs. "The Confederate Icon" Chad Vargas
Birdcage Match
Alice Knight vs. Bob Grenier
Ladder Match
"The Distinguished" CJ O'Donnell vs. Curt Canon
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: What a lineup...there isn't a weak match on that entire card.
Hood: That is definitely NOT Classic, OCW...we've always had a Richard or Scoot Time level match...not this go around. That shit is STACKED
Smith: Indeed...speaking of stacked...it's time for this incredible...no pun intended...main event. The Process of Elimination finals are next!
CJ O’Donnell/Iggy Hardy/Lukas Emery vs. Levi Russow/Mack O’Connor/The Incredible One
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!! This is the FINALS of the Process of Elimination cycle…the winner of this match will select the divisions for the upcoming Jimmy Buffet Margarita Mix!
~The crowd goes wild finding the prize to be very exciting. Belvedere gives them a moment to cool their jets. “Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits…the fans boo with a frenzied passion only found in professional wrestling. CJ O’Donnell, carrying his OCW Tag Team Title, emerges from behind the curtain. He looks focused…he’s ready to fight. He heads down the ramp and slides into the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions, “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!
~ ~Eddie Van Halen's amazing fucking guitar rift controls the sound system, volume MAXED out as "Top of the World" by Van Halen plays, Iggy Hardy emerges from the darkness, hair and body soaked in water. His muscles ripple as he walks down the aisle, flexing his muscles and gyrating his hips to the Van Halen tune. He slaps a couple fans high five, he stops to the prettiest girl he finds and shoves his tongue down her throat. He saunters the rest of the way to the ring as he climbs the steps and enters the ring. He thrusts his hips at Belvedere, he then randomly does a handstand as he gears up for his match.~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Hawk’s Bluff, North Carolina…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…Iggy Hardy!!!
~ The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as “Bartholomew” by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system~
~The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates an area of the stage, and Lukas Emery slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans~
Belvedere: And their partner, making his way to the ring, from Cardiff, Wales, now residing in London, England. Standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…Lukas Emery!
~The spotlight follows as Emery continues to make his way to the ring, bouncing and singing to the music a little bit. He makes his way to ringside and takes the steps up to the ring before stepping in~
Smith: That’s one heck of a team, Hood!
Hood: No shit…they should win, easily
Smith: Well, hold on…before you make any predictions, let’s see their opponents!
~ The sound of a coin being put into a coin-operated machine, a button being pressed, and an 8-Bit explosion can be heard as we next hear the voice of the living legend Stan Lee himself say...~
~Massive pyrotechnics blast with the first hard hit of screaming guitars on "True Believers" by The Bouncing Souls hits as The Iceman Levi Russow is silhouetted sitting indian style on the stage as the fans roar their approval. He kips up to a standing position and bounces in place unzipping his hoodie as he cracks his trademark grin to the fans and nods his head in approval as the chorus arrives and he cheerleads his fans in screaming...~
~He's suddenly off like a shot towards the ring leaping up through the bottom and second rope and popping up to a turnbuckle soaking in the adulation~
Belvedere: And their opponents, introducing first, from Manhattan, New York…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…Levi Russow!!!
~”Vagabond” by The Greenskeepers hits. Mack O’Connor walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He’s carrying what appears to be two beer bottles. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business. His right hand is wrapped up~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…Mack O’Connor!!!
~”Lean Back” by Fat Joe begins to play. The crowd’s mixed reaction seems to be leaning more toward cheers than boos. TIO emerges from behind the curtain…he’s not confused, surprised…he one word – focused. The Paradigm Champion marches toward the ring with his eyes on the prize, so to speak. He steps up, onto the apron and through the ropes, ready for combat~
Belvedere: And their partner, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is the current OCW Paradigm Champion…The Incredible One!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd is abuzz. For months these Process of Elimination matches have been building – all to this point. Belvedere exits the ring and heads over toward his seat. Next to it is something covered by a black cloth~
Smith: What is that?
Hood: I don’t know…could it be a miniature replica of the Statue of Liberty?
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
~Belvedere…with dramatic flair, rips the covering away to reveal the Jimmy Buffet Margarita Mix Trophy!! The crowd goes wild. All six men in the ring nod and stare at the prize. While not immediately up for grabs, the winner will have a distinct advantage toward attaining the majestic trophy~
Smith: This the first step in becoming the first ever winner of the Margarita Mix!
Hood: I might have to go with that second team Smith…or, shit, I don’t know…I guess the first team
Smith: They are surprisingly even
Hood: No shit…I don’t think I’ve seen two teams this even before
Smith: Not since that brawl in They Live!
Hood: Buy, OBEY
Smith: Haha, indeed!
~Mack and TIO don’t speak. Instead, they look at Levi. Levi nods…he understands the situation. He holds up his hands and says “I got this.” TIO and Mack step through the ropes, hanging out on the apron. Across the ring CJ orders Iggy and Lukas to the apron. Iggy starts to get intense…Lukas calms him down, speaking with a voice of reason. Iggy listens and heads through the ropes~
Smith: Looks like OCW’s Iron Man will begin things against its fastest rising star…the Newcomer of the Month from May, Levi Russow!
Hood: No shit…Mack and TIO made it very clear they weren’t starting this match.
Smith: Doesn’t seem very cooperative to me
Hood: Fuck…why put out all that energy when you can make the rookie do it
Smith: They do have more pull around here, thanks to tenure. Probably a smart move by Levi to just go with the flow
Hood: Well, let’s be honest, he’d rather get fucked than Incredibly Fucked…which, ya know, would have happened had he refused
~Levi waves CJ forward with a cocky smile. CJ appears offended. He tells Levi to fuck off. Levi cocks his head back and raises an eyebrow. CJ demands that Levi meet him in the middle of the ring. Levi shrugs and does just that. They stand in the center…CJ starts to lecture Levi. He calls him ‘son’ and ‘boy’ several times. Levi takes it. CJ pokes Levi in the chest. Levi grinds his teeth, losing his patience. Finally, Levi reaches back and slaps CJ across the face! The crowd goes wild~
Smith: Levi may be new but he’s no ‘boy’
Hood: Levi’s a girl? He’s one of those transformers?
Smith: The word is transgender…and, no, he’s not…he’s all man
Hood: Whoa, sounds like you’re telling me more than I ever wanted to know about you and ole Levi
Smith: I didn’t mean it that way you jerk!
~CJ slowly reaches up and touches the afflicted portion of his face. He spits on the mat, there’s a red tint to the wad. CJ nods and smiles…he turns around and reaches back to return the slap. Levi reaches to block…but CJ pulls up and, instead, knees Levi in the gut!! Levi doubles over…CJ grabs the back of Levi’s head, applying a clutch and he throws knee after knee at Levi’s face. Levi does whatever he can to prevent the barrage of knees from breaking his nose~
Smith: CJ is pissed!
Hood: Ya think? Who walks up and slaps the iron man of OCW?
Smith: Levi Russow, apparently
Hood: Biggest mistake that weirdo ever made!
~Levi is up against the ropes, he’s got nowhere to go. CJ continues throwing knees at his face. Levi does the only thing he can think, considering he’s trapped. He drops to his knees. CJ throws some shots at Levi’s head…Levi crawls between CJ’s legs…the crowd finds this somewhat comical. CJ turns around, furious. Levi gets to his feet and sprints toward the ropes…CJ runs in pursuit…Lev hits the ropes…CJ runs past him, hitting the ropes instantly after Levi…Levi turns around and is knocked to the mat with a lariat!! The crowd boos as CJ looks down and spits on Levi…a trail of pink, thick liquid rolls off Levi’s chest, sticking to the mat~
Smith: Might be weird to say but I think Levi is actually better off
Hood: He didn’t KNEED to take any more of those knees…KNEED I say more?
Smith: Please don’t
Hood: Alright, I won’t kneedlessly speak any further
Smith: I hope this isn’t a preview for your Stainless Steel Ride commentary
~CJ stomps on Levi’s chest. He kicks Levi in the face. Levi rolls over, onto his stomach, protecting some of the more sensitive portions of his anatomy. CJ grabs a fist full of hair, yanking Levi to his feet. He whips Levi into the ropes, Levi bounces off and CJ sprints forward, drilling Levi with a knee into the gut. Levi flips over CJ’s knee, slamming into the mat…he grimaces, clutching at his midsection~
Smith: CJ is in total control…I’d wager he’d prefer to just win this portion all on his own
Hood: He’s the iron man, Smith. That means he’s a man, made of iron
Smith: Thanks for the unnecessary clarification
Hood: You’re no Iron Man
Smith: Excuse me? I’m here week in and week out! How dare you!
Hood: You’re more like a plastic man. But not that hard, sturdy plastic…more like the shitty plastic that just kind of rips and falls apart whenever it’s in the heat for more than a few minutes
Smith: You cut deep…really deep
~Levi sits up, arms wrapped around his abdomen. CJ kicks him in the back…the smack echoes throughout the arena. He snares Levi by the hair, pulling him to his feet once again. CJ kicks Levi in the gut…he knees Levi in the face…Levi stands upright, staggering back. CJ runs into the ropes, he bounces off and leaps through the air, looking for Irish Knowledge…Levi catches CJ and plants him into the mat with a powerbomb!!! CJ grabs the back of his head in pain…Levi sits up for a moment before falling to the side. The crowd chants for Levi~
Smith: Great counter by Levi Russow…he needs to make a tag!
Hood: Son of a bitch…doesn’t he know CJ’s got a big match next week.
Smith: So does Levi!
Hood: That’s just the fucking Oh Shit match…who gives a shit, ya know?
Smith: That match has a history of launching wrestlers into the main event…just look at Damian K’!
Hood: I’ll look at RM Strong, instead
Smith: Well, they can’t ALL be winners
~Levi rolls onto his front and starts to crawl toward his corner. CJ sits up, feeling around the back of his head. He stands and heads for his corner. Levi tags Mack! The crowd gives Mack a solid ovation. CJ slaps Iggy’s arm. Iggy enters to a huge ovation. Mack sees Iggy…he turns around and he SLAPS TIO across the face. Scruff signals a tag has been made. TIO steps through the ropes and goes nose to nose with Mack. Mack smirks, not backing down. TIO has that rage in his eyes we’ve all grown accustomed to seeing. Levi rises up between them, looking haggard. He yells, “Guys! Guys! The goal!” he points at the trophy. Neither Mack nor TIO budge~
Smith: These men HATE each other…despite never actually squaring off in singles competition
Hood: It’s that propaganda Treat’s been spewing. Mack hates TIO and doesn’t even know why!
Smith: Oh I think he knows why
Hood: TIO is a father and Mack still…wait a minute, I bet Mack kidnapped TIO’s daughter!
Smith: He did not!
~Levi continues to be the injured voice of reason. Suddenly, a loud, roided up voice cries out ‘GET FUCKED!!’ Levi’s eyes widen…he leaps through the ropes. Iggy comes charging in like a bull. Mack manages to get out of the way…TIO turns around, his eyes widen and he braces like a man caught in the headlights of a train. Iggy LEAPS through the air and he CRUSHES TIO into the corner with a splash!! Iggy nearly tumbles head first out of the ring after jumping so high…but he manages to balance and fall back onto the mat, feet first. He then drives shoulder after shoulder into TIO’s midsection. Mack stands by, avoiding any contact with his partner. Levi looks on from the floor, considering a tag~
Smith: I know Levi JUST tagged out and is, well, a little worse for wear…but the way Iggy is going after TIO, it might be the only option if they want to make it past the first phase
Hood: Geezus…I was wondering how Iggy might look after being off for nearly a month. Guy is ready to go!
Smith: Indeed…might be a good thing he’s got this opportunity BEFORE facing Rebel next week at Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: If you’re Rebel, absolutely. I don’t think anyone would want to face a well-rested, full of pent up energy Iggy Hardy
~Iggy rips TIO of the corner and flings him across the ring…TIO runs faster than he ever has…he SLAMS into the corner and the momentum takes him over the top turnbuckle, Lukas has to jump off the apron to avoid getting hit. TIO’s back SLAMS into the apron and he flips over, landing face first onto the ground. Iggy begins to stomp around the ring, pumping his fists in the air…the crowd goes wild with “IGGY!” chants~
Smith: Iggy Hardy has laid out the undefeated, number one contender!
Hood: This is terrible…somebody stop the match! Disqualify Iggy Hardy!
Smith: For what? On what grounds?
Hood: I don’t know, illegal drug usage
Smith: He hasn’t been tested…that would be speculation
Hood: It’d be more than speculation. I promise Iggy pisses pure testosterone
~Lukas looks down at TIO, contemplating a kick. CJ hops down and glares at Lukas. Emery puts his hands up and backs away. CJ remains standing over TIO, holding the back of his neck, which is still bothering him from the powerbomb. He stares at his subdued stablemate…his current opponent…the wheels are churning~
Smith: CJ loves to win
Hood: Because he’s a winner
Smith: He’s loyal to The Aptitude….but, and I think this can be said of EACH Aptitude member…CJ’s primary loyalty is, has and will always be to CJ O’Donnell
Hood: Nobody ever said winners were popular. In fact, I’d venture to say most winners have few friends…why? Because most people like to associate with losers…makes them feel better or, well, not alone in their loserhood
Smith: That’s Hood’s take, fans…not the official take of OCW
Hood: It would be if Welsh were around
~Iggy jumps over the top rope and lands on his feet, outside the ring. CJ is still looking down at TIO. Iggy grabs TIO by the hair, snapping CJ out of whatever was running through his mind. CJ climbs back onto the apron. Iggy whips TIO into the barricade…TIO hits hard and bends at the knees, hanging onto the top of the barricade by his arms. Iggy grabs TIO by the throat and launches him from the barricade across to the apron...the middle of TIO’s back slams into the edge of the apron! He falls to his knees, then braces his body with his hands, he’s on all fours. Iggy hooks TIO around the waist…he lifts him up and POWERBOMBS him onto the apron. TIO remains on the apron, flat on his back, barely moving. The fans are going crazy, Iggy chants consume the atmosphere…they can sense Mr. Pectacular getting close to a pinfall~
Smith: For five months TIO has remained unblemished…is tonight the night? Is Iggy Hardy about to solve the TIO puzzle?
Hood: I fucking hope not…but, then again, if he’s due to lose…better it happen tonight than next Monday
Smith: Indeed
~Iggy hops onto the apron and jumps over the top rope, landing on both feet. He drags TIO’s lifeless body into the center of the ring…Iggy runs into the ropes, he bounces off and LEAPS into the air with a splash onto TIO’s body!! He hooks both of TIO’s legs as Scruff comes in to count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Kickout by the Paradigm Champion…that is why they call him incredible!
Hood: Well, to be fair, it was only a fucking splash
Smith: Yes…but Iggy does jump higher than most
Hood: True and I heard he’s got -5% body fat
Smith: That’s impossible!
~Iggy gets back to his feet…his veins are bulging, he’s fully intense. He runs against the ropes and sprints around. Most normal competitors would pull TIO to his feet or stand by, waiting for TIO to get to his feet. Not Iggy, he’s putting a marathon’s worth of energy into the ‘wait’. In doing so, he backs into the opposing team’s corner. Mack gives him a pat on the back. Iggy turns around and YELLS in Mack’s face…a good portion of Iggy’s highly contaminated saliva coats Mack’s eyes, nose, mouth and chin. Mack runs a hand down his face, removing most of the foreign substance. He then throws a straight right hand, smacking Iggy in the face. Iggy staggers back...he trips over TIO, who’s on all fours. TIO capitalizes with a pin attempt…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Mack O’Connor nearly cost Iggy the match!
Hood: That’s one way to look at it
Smith: What’s the other?
Hood: That Mack nearly helped his team win the match
Smith: That is true
~TIO hurries for his corner, still in pain from Iggy’s assault. He reaches out and slaps Mack’s hand, as it hangs loosely from the top rope. Mack rolls his eyes and steps through the ropes. He doesn’t really want to fight Iggy but, given how the match has gone and given the fact Iggy kinda spit in his face, he’s okay with competing. Mack makes his way over to Iggy. Hardy reaches his feet, with his back to Mack. Mack twirls Iggy around and receives a surprise head butt into the nose!! Mack backs up, holding his face in pain! Iggy YELLS and sprints toward his corner. He stops in front of Lukas…Lukas braces for something…Iggy SLAPS Lukas in the chest…Lukas flies off the apron and slams into the barricade, falling to the floor. Scruff signals the tag~
Smith: An intense Iggy Hardy just about murdered Lukas Emery with that tag
Hood: Man, I’m not sure who has it worse…Iggy’s opponents or his partners
Smith: I’d say his partners because they not only have to deal with Iggy tagging them but then…if they win…have to face Iggy in the second phase
Hood: It’s like a double whammy!
~Mack’s nose appears to be fine. He looks at Iggy…Iggy gives Mack a nod like he just helped him out. Mack’s brow furrows…he doesn’t understand Iggy’s machinations. But, to be fair…who does? Mack takes his focus off of Iggy and heads for the ropes…he hops outside and goes right after Lukas. He pulls Emery to his feet and drills him across the chin with a straight right hand. Emery’s legs become jello…he falls to his knees. Mack smacks Emery with another right hand, sending him to the floor. Mack stomps on Emery’s body, giving the rookie a solid beating~
Smith: Mack is, in my opinion, the most brutal wrestler in OCW
Hood: And, yet, here he is…in contention for the Paradigm Championship
Smith: A chance to claim the triple crown, Hood!
Hood: I like to call it the Triangular Triumph of Triangulation!
Smith: Triple Crown works just fine for me
~Scruff doesn’t really start a count…it would be pointless given the match and the build. Mack throws Emery back into the ring anyway…trying to get a quick win so he can conserve energy. Lukas is already on his feet…staggering…Mack gets into the ring and stands…he gives Lukas a few stiff jabs. He whips Lukas into the ropes…Lukas leaps into the air and springboards off the middle rope…he hooks his legs around Mack’s head and he tosses Mack into the mat with a huricanrana!!! The fans jump up with cheers…they seem to be bigger fans of Lukas than Mack~
Smith: What a move! What athleticism…I’m telling you, Hood. This guy is a future star in this company!
Hood: What kind of star?
Smith: I don’t know, a star
Hood: Well, I mean not all stars shine the same…some stars fucking suck. Is he a shitty star?
Smith: I didn’t really plan on getting very technical about it…I was merely giving the guy a compliment.
Hood: Oh, really? You thought calling him a shitty, low burning star would be a compliment?
Smith: Never mind
~Mack returns to his feet…more on instinct. He’s dizzy, off balanced. Emery kicks up and runs at Mack…Lukas has new life…renewed energy. He jumps into the air and grabs Mack’s head…he kicks off the ropes and drives Mack head first into the mat with a Tornado DDT!!! Mack is flat on his back. Emery pops to his feet and runs into the nearest corner…he sprints up the buckles and leaps off the middle set with a moonsault…he connects!! He goes for a pin, hooking Mack’s legs~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Sooo close! Mack was almost pinned by Levi’s buddy, Lukas
Hood: Yep, Lukas doing what Levi couldn’t
Smith: Hey…beating Mack O’Connor is no small feat
Hood: Yea…it’s not small…it’s also not very big. Definitely not HUGE like defeating TIO or CJ
Smith: You might eat those words, Hood
Hood: That’s fine. I’m a fan of alphabet soup
~Emery seems rejuvenated…he’s eager to end this. He backs into a corner…suddenly a hand slaps him on the back. It belongs to CJ! CJ steps through the ropes, the fans boo loudly. Emery grabs CJ by the arm, angry over his actions~
Smith: I think Lukas thought he had this and is furious CJ stepped in
Hood: Hey, Lukas…ya did good, kid…now let CJ finish the job
Smith: CJ just wants to take credit for Emery’s hard work!
Hood: Any boy can flirt….it takes a man to fuck
Smith: Thanks for that, Hood
~CJ rips his arm away and shoves Lukas, nearly knocking him off the apron. Emery looks angry but controls his temper for the GREATER GOOD. Iggy’s forehead wrinkles with surprise. He starts talking to Emery…we can’t hear what the CALM Iggy is saying. CJ turns his focus toward Mack. Mack is leaning in a corner, gasping for air. CJ sprints in and leaps through the air with another attempt at Irish Knowledge…Mack CATCHES CJ in midair and drills him into the mat with Claymore!!! The ring shakes from impact!! CJ is out, on his back…Mack rolls onto his back, still recovering from the damage he suffered earlier on~
Smith: Pin him, Mack! Pin him! C’mon!!!
Hood: So much for professionalism
Smith: Hey you have your favorites, I have mine
Hood: I may have my favorites…but I damn sure don’t have a disgusting love affair with them on air
~After being on their backs for a good while…Mack finally rolls over…he locates CJ and tosses his arm over CJ’s tattooed chest. Scruff slides in for the count, the crowd chants along~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: CJ kicked out! Mack took too long!
Hood: The slow reactions of a drunk
Smith: He doesn’t look drunk to me
Hood: That’s because a drunk’s best talent is being able to hide the fact that he’s drunk
~In the background we hear Iggy talking to Lukas. Iggy’s voice continues to gain volume as he’s getting slightly agitated. Iggy asks, “Why didn’t you fight back?!” Lukas just tries to tell Iggy to calm down, not to worry about it. Iggy responds with, “What the fuck?! Fight back!!” Meanwhile, back in the ring Mack is on his feet…he leans against the ropes, keeping an eye on CJ. CJ stands, equally wobbly. CJ finds Mack and, being the aggressor, goes after him…Mack kicks CJ in the gut and drops him with Hollow Point!! CJ flips onto his back, unconscious. Mack rises to his feet and starts to move for a cover but stops~
Smith: What is he doing?!
Hood: He’s blacked out! The drunk has blacked out on national television!
Smith: He hasn’t blacked out
Hood: I bet so…probably has no idea how he got here. That would certainly explain him putting on that ridiculous Hawaiian shirt.
~Iggy continues to yell offscreen, “DO SOMETHING BITCH!” Lukas stresses for Iggy to relax. Iggy starts to stomp on the apron, getting really worked up. Mack, meanwhile heads for his corner. He slugs Levi in the face! Levi falls off the apron, crash landing on the outside. Mack slaps TIO’s fist, which is wrapped around the top rope. TIO looks at Mack with surprise. Mack steps through the ropes and hops off the apron. Scruff motions for TIO to enter…the crowd gets to their feet and chants for TIO to fight~
Smith: Mack is going to force TIO to fight CJ! CJ is down, he is out…and there is NOBODY for TIO to tag. He can either beat up on CJ or risk losing the match
Hood: What a PRICK
Smith: This is payback for months and months of aggravation, Hood
Hood: It never fails…drunks ALWAYS ruin relationships
~TIO has no choice, he steps through the ropes and approaches a beaten down CJ. CJ rolls onto all fours and is fighting to his feet. Iggy yells, from the apron, “FUCK THIS SHIT!” Lukas can be heard finally yelling back, “Iggy, no! Stop!” Our camera jerks into position and we see Iggy heading for the time keeper. He yanks a chair away and climbs onto the apron. Lukas grabs onto his giant, roided arm. Iggy stops and looks into Emery’s eyes, “Please let go of my arm you…you…you…FUCKING PUSSY!!!” Iggy flings Emery off the apron, he lands roughly on the outside. Iggy steps through the ropes with the chair. TIO is pulling CJ to his feet…he stops upon seeing an intense, armed Iggy Hardy~
Smith: What is Iggy going to do? They could get disqualified!
Hood: I’m not sure that means much to Iggy…all he sees right now is intensity!
Smith: How can anybody work with this man?!
~TIO turns CJ around…CJ is facing Iggy. CJ’s eyes light up when he sees the massive human holding a chair in front of him. CJ puts his hands up and says “No you idiot! We’re on the same fucking team!” Iggy reaches back with the chair, ready to crack CJ in the head. CJ continues to argue with Iggy, he grabs Iggy’s arms, preventing the chair from crashing down. The fans suddenly react. Our camera jerks to the right…the HOODED FIGURE jumps the barricade and slides into the ring~
Smith: Hood! It’s the, uhh…HOODED FIGURE!
Hood: Fucking hell…just one of them this time…he must be the leader!
Smith: Or she
Hood: No, definitely not a she
Smith: Whoever or WHATEVER it is…they are entering into a dangerous scenario
~CJ wants to turn around, but can’t. If he lets go of Iggy he’s going to get destroyed. TIO slides out of the ring as soon as the Hooded Figure enters the ring. The Hooded Figure runs into the ropes…he bounces off. Iggy shoves CJ away…CJ turns around. The Hooded Figure does a 360 Clockwise spin and BACKHANDS THE SHIT out of CJ’s face!!! CJ collapses to the ground as the crowd goes wild. The Hooded Figure’s momentum takes him face to face with Iggy. Iggy is breathing heavily, staring down at The Hooded Figure with wild eyes. The Hooded Figure steps to the side, knowing his fight isn’t with this maniac~
Smith: The Hooded Figure just decimated CJ with a backhand…that’s the most painful backhand I’ve ever seen!
Hood: And you’ve seen me play tennis!
Smith: Unfortunately, I have
~The Hooded Figure slides out of the ring and heads into the crowd, disappearing among the mass of people. TIO re-enters the ring. Iggy is watching the Hooded Figure run away. TIO gets on top of CJ. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
~Iggy turns around upon hearing the hand hit the mat. He spots TIO pinning CJ~
2!
~Iggy starts to shake. He ROARS…he yells out as loud as he can “TARTARE!!!!” He then lunges forward with the chair and DRILLS TIO in the back of the head with it!! TIO rolls over, onto the mat in a heap. Iggy continues to bash TIO’s body with the chair. Scruff stops counting, stands up and looks on like “whoa”. Levi slides into the ring, he rushes at Iggy to make him stop…Iggy SMACKS Levi in the head with the chair. Mack leans against the barricade, watching the carnage. The crowd goes wild chanting “IGGY!” after each chair shot. Finally, Scruff has no choice…he calls for the bell. The crowd boos loudly~
Smith: Scruff has disqualified Iggy’s team! I can’t believe it’s ended this way for Iggy, CJ and Lukas!
Hood: Fucking Iggy, man...he just lost his shit
Smith: Indeed! But what about the Hooded Figure…he caused all of this
Hood: That guy continues to fuck with the Aptitude…I can’t wait for Stainless Steel Ride so they can figure out who this fucker is and give him some payback!
~The bell sounds. Iggy continues to beat on both TIO and Levi. Lukas gets into the ring, furious. CJ sits up, recovering from the bitch slap from hell. He stands and comes to the realization of what’s taken place. He, too, is engulfed with fury~
Belvedere: Here are your winners of the first phase as a result of a disqualification…the team of LEVI RUSSOW, MACK O’CONNOR, AND THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!
~CJ rips Iggy around and is irate. Iggy is breathing heavily…a mixture of saliva, sweat, and cocaine residue drips down the sides of his mouth. His eyes are about to burst. Lukas steps back, not feeling too safe. CJ continues to lecture Iggy on the methodology behind ‘wrestling’ and why people compete in matches. Iggy slowly lifts the chair…he grabs it at both ends and bends the chair in half with ease. CJ stops talking. He looks at Lukas…Lukas flies through the ropes and makes his way up the ramp, exiting the ring. CJ puts his hands up, trying to calm Iggy down. Iggy is about to scream when CJ kicks him right in the groin!!! Iggy falls to his knees, dropping the chair. CJ yells, “That’s what you get, fucking retard!” CJ hops out of the ring and heads up the ramp. He meets Lukas there…they both share their frustration and disgust over what’s transpired~
Smith: For once I can’t really blame CJ
Hood: No shit…this was a big match and Iggy just blew it for CJ and Lukas
Smith: Well, to be fair…TIO had the pin. So I’m not sure Iggy’s actions altered the course of history THAT drastically
Hood: Bull fucking shit…CJ would have kicked out. It was only a bitch slap!
Smith: In the grand scheme of things…it’s not THAT big a deal. They will all have an equal opportunity to win the Margarita Mix.
Hood: Only losers rationalize defeat, Smith. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen, her mom AND their slutty, sexy neighbor.
Smith: Not everyone can win all the time, Hood
Hood: Try telling that to TIO!
~Iggy suddenly jumps to his feet…he grabs the chair and sprints for the ropes. He jumps over the top rope and lands on his feet, outside the ring. He sprints toward Lukas and CJ…they turn and head up the ramp, running behind the curtain. Iggy continues to give chase as the fans chant for the wild, uncontrollable lunatic. We focus back on the ring. Mack steps onto the apron and looks inside…both Levi and TIO are out. The fans return their focus onto the match, as well, and chant for Mack to ‘finish them.’ Mack steps through the ropes and mulls over who to attack first~
Smith: This isn’t even a contest…not only did Iggy cost his team the first phase by being selfish and forcing Scruff to call a DQ…he’s now just gift wrapped the second phase for Mack O’Connor
Hood: Those Treat guys sure do stick together…always looking to cheat, bend the rules
Smith: No, that would be The Aptitude
Hood: Yea, right…don’t act like the Clientele were angels
~Mack pulls Levi to his feet and tosses him over the top rope. He kicks at TIO’s body…TIO doesn’t move much. So, Mack sees an opportunity for an easy win and covers TIO. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: TIO survived Iggy with a chair! Can this man lose?
Hood: If Welsh were here I’d say no way…but with Welsh missing…
Smith: What are you insinuating?
Hood: I’m simply saying Welsh is a good luck charm for The Aptitude…like a rabbit’s foot!
Smith: All those poor rabbits slain in the name of luck…so sad
Hood: I guess…have you ever seen a rabbit? There’s not much to them
~Mack gets to his feet, realizing he’s got a little work to do. He pulls TIO up…suddenly, the fans boo. Mack turns around and spots Meyhu heading down the ramp with the OCW Savage Title over his shoulder. Mack shakes his head, visibly frustrated with a ‘not this shit again’ look on his face. He knees TIO in the lower abdomen and discards him, dumping the Paradigm Champ to the mat. He heads for the ropes and points at Meyhu who is nearing the end of the ramp. Mack warns Meyhu to stay out of the match~
Smith: These two have history…that belt Meyhu carries around was once Mack’s
Hood: Yep and Meyhu took it from Mack…I would say it bothers Mack but we all know drunks can’t remember anything
Smith: Oh I’m sure he remembers
Hood: Well, sure, he probably woke up with a massive hangover and read the papers the following morning
Smith: You think Mack still reads the newspaper?
Hood: Sure, he seems like a print kinda guy!
~Meyhu reaches ringside and ignores Mack. He tries to get Scruff’s attention, arguing that TIO is at a disadvantage. He seems to be championing TIO’s cause in the match. Mack pulls at Scruff’s arm, trying to get him to stay away from the influential Aptitude member. Suddenly, Mack falls to the ground…Levi rolls Mack up for a pin!! Scruff drops to his knees and counts~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Levi Russow nearly stole this match…that darn Meyhu is trying to ruin everything!
Hood: He’s the Marvel…he doesn’t ruin anything…he just makes situations better
Smith: Whatever
Hood: I heard whenever he enters into a pizzeria…instantly, every cheese pizza is covered with pepperonis. It’s the Meyhu Effect!
Smith: I personally prefer cheese instead of pepperonis
Hood: That’s because you make terrible life decisions
~Mack stumbles to his feet, surprised by the near fall. Levi pops to his feet and greets Mack with a dropkick!! Mack falters into a corner…Levi charges in and lifts a knee into Mack’s face!! The crowd is now behind Levi. TIO remains on the ground, he rolls around a few times, finding the ropes. He reaches the apron and lies on his back, staring at the lights. Meyhu walks over and pats him on the shoulder~
Smith: I don’t know what Meyhu has planned but it can’t be good…these two have been far from friendly recently
Hood: Nah, he’s just looking out for his brother…brothers fight, Smith…that’s what they do…but they get over it. He’s out here to ensure that freaky, creepy Hooded Figure doesn’t interfere again. We all know he’s out there, watching.
Smith: While that is true, I just can’t take Meyhu’s act seriously…it just seems so phony!
Hood: Relax, Meyhu is going to give TIO some words of encouragement…probably recant one of his world title wins in an effort to show TIO that he can overcome this and TIO will rebound and win
Smith: I don’t doubt Meyhu would talk someone’s ear off telling stories of his past success…that would not surprise me…but TIO forcefully kissed his wife. You don’t think that’s bothering him?
Hood: Apparently not! Maybe Meyhu is a swinger!
~Meyhu watches Levi and Mack wrestling. It’s as though he’s doing the math in his head, knowing TIO can’t go in there currently, it’d be near impossible to win with two other wrestlers on their feet, coherently competing. Levi whips Mack into the ropes, near Meyhu…Meyhu swipes at Mack’s legs, trying to trip him. Mack stops running and turns around, pointing at Meyhu. Meyhu hops onto the apron and shoves Mack. Levi charges in from behind…Mack moves and Levi DRILLS Meyhu in the face with a forearm! Meyhu flies off the apron and slams into the barricade. He looks more annoyed than anything, having fallen and dropped his title. Levi stands, struck for a moment…he didn’t expect to hit Meyhu~
Smith: Get him away from ringside! He’s completely compromising this great match!
Hood: Fucking Levi…he just had to hit Meyhu, didn’t he? Guy is out here trying to enjoy watching a match and Levi smacks him
Smith: He’s sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, Hood
Hood: I know! Levi should just stay out of Meyhu’s business
Smith: Ugh
~Meyhu stands upright and works out the aches and pains from the fall. He grabs his title and keeps his eyes on Levi. Levi is turned around, going back after Mack. He punches Mack in the head, Mack returns the favor. The two men start to trade right hands in the center of the ring, the crowd approves of the violence. Mack gains the upper hand…why people brawl with the guy, we will never know. He shoots Levi into the ropes…near Meyhu…Meyhu reaches in and grabs Levi by the foot and drags him out of the ring. Scruff’s back is to the action…Meyhu DROPS Levi with a huge clothesline!! Levi slams into the floor. Meyhu picks Levi back up and CRUSHES his face with the Savage Belt!! Levi falls face down onto the floor, unconscious. Mack just looks on, not really giving a shit~
Smith: C’mon, Scruff! Pay attention!
Hood: Meyhu is clearing the path for a TIO victory!
Smith: Levi could have won this…why deprive the young man of a break through win?
Hood: Oh fuck off…you know the money is behind TIO…he draws ratings…he can’t lose!
~Meyhu pats TIO on the chest and rolls him back into the ring. TIO is still badly hurt from Iggy’s chair shots. Mack grabs TIO and pulls him to his feet. TIO surprises Mack with an eye poke followed by a head butt!! Mack falls to one knee. TIO hooks Mack’s head in a front face lock, cutting off his air supply. Meyhu yells at Scruff from the outside, pointing at Levi. Scruff, easily distracted as always, flies through the ropes and looks at Levi, confused~
Smith: What is he DOING?
Hood: He’s distracting Scruff so he can help TIO take out Mack…isn’t that fucking obvious?
Smith: Why…why do we need this chicanery? Why can’t they just let these guys win or lose based on their own merits!
Hood: And leave shit up to chance like that…fuck no. You do what you can…whatever you can to ensure your allies win…end of story
~With Scruff tending to Levi…the coast is clear. Meyhu hops into the ring. TIO’s back is to him as he continues to apply pressure on Mack with the front face lock. Meyhu runs into the ropes, he bounces off and he DRILLS TIO with the Savage Title!! The fans react with shock. TIO releases Mack and stumbles backward…he’s about to fall, but Meyhu grabs his arm…he pulls TIO in close and drops him to the mat with the Ego Trip!!! TIO flips onto his back, unconscious. Meyhu picks up his title and looks at Mack…Mack has his fists up, ready for a fight. Meyhu heads for the ropes and steps out of the ring, treating Mack like a nonfactor. An OCW medic is looking at Levi…Scruff turns back toward the ring and remembers he’s refereeing. He slides in under the bottom rope. Mack looks down at TIO~
Smith: Can Mack stomach taking a win handed to him by Meyhu?
Hood: It depends on how hungover he is, I’d guess
~Turns out, Mack could give two shits…a win is a win. He drops to his knees and pins TIO. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings. The crowd gives a lukewarm reaction to the finish~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the man who survived the Process of Elimination…the person who will draft the divisions for the Margarita Mix…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: That’s Mack O’Connor…a win is a win
Hood: Fucking hell…is anybody hotter than Mack right now? You know, besides Hansel?
Smith: Well he was kinda helped out here…but I get your point. Mack hasn’t lost a match in forever, it feels like.
~Mack doesn’t take much time to celebrate. He looks down at TIO…he looks over at Meyhu and wants nothing to do with either man. He exits the ring and heads up the ramp. Levi is helped up the ramp as well…the fans give Levi a nice round of applause, appreciating the rookie’s effort. Meyhu re-enters the ring with his Savage Belt. He looks down, over TIO…TIO rolls onto his stomach and crawls toward Meyhu’s feet. The crowd chants “NO! NO! NO!” begging Meyhu to leave him alone~
Smith: Don’t do it, Meyhu! You’ll get your chance next week! Besides, you’ve got to team up with this man!
Hood: That’s EXACTLY why he should do it…soften the fucker up. We’re talking about the OCW Title here, Smith. This isn’t some fake ass internet game!
Smith: What about sportsmanship, huh? What about finding out who the better man truly is?
Hood: Fuck that shit…that went out the door when Alice Knight won the damn thing
Smith: I’ll just ignore that repugnant statement and mention that we have witnessed a first in 2017. TIO just got pinned for the first time this year and it’s all because of Matt Meyhu!
Hood: And he deserves this for what he did! Get him Meyhu!
~Meyhu becomes enraged, he grabs TIO up from the ground and throws him to the floor. Sliding out, Meyhu grabs TIO by his jeans and hair, ramming his shoulder into the ring steps, the top part flying off! TIO cries out in pain as Meyhu doesn’t give TIO a chance to breath, stomping away at him as the crowd notices Tiffany making her way to ringside~
Smith: Meyhu has gone completely mental!
Hood: I would too if someone kissed my girl. Tiffany is a goddess. What was TIO thinking?!
~Meyhu grabs TIO by his hair again, dragging him up from the floor, yelling at him. He rolls him into the ring and Meyhu enters. He waits to TIO get to his feet, completely drained from his previous match, and when he gets up, wraps his arms around TIO’s waist and hoists him up for a german suplex. He keeps it locked in and hits a second one before coming up for a third, this time launching him into the turnbuckles with a loud thud! Meyhu goes to TIO in the corner, smacking him in the face a couple of times. He hoists TIO up and goes for the “Ego Trip” but TIO surprisingly jumps out of it and grabs Meyhu, hoisting him up onto his shoulders for the “You’re Incredibly Fucked!” but Tiffany has found her way down to the ring, rushes in and low blows TIO!~
Hood: That a girl!
Smith: TIO just wrestled a damn match, and he’s now being double teamed, how is that fair?
Hood: Put your hands on another man’s woman, and pay the consequences.
~The low blow causes TIO to crumble down as Meyhu gets off TIO’s shoulder. Meyhu then grabs TIO and delivers an Ego Trip in the middle of the ring. The crowd boo’s heavily as a massive “Incredible” chant begins around the arena. This infuriates Meyhu, as he picks up a motionless TIO and throws him out of the ring. Once Meyhu is on the outside, he clears the announce teams table before grabbing TIO, both of them standing on the table. Meyhu whispers something into TIO’s ear before hitting an Ego Trip through the announce table! More jeers come from the crowd as Meyhu gets up, unscathed, bowing to the crowd.
He grabs TIO and hoists him over his shoulder. He carries TIO to the ring and throws him in, through the ropes. TIO rolls near the center. Meyhu stands up, onto the apron and steps through the ropes. He stands over TIO and poses, triumphantly as the crowd boos heavier and heaver. OCW personnel get in between the two of them, checking on an exhausted and beaten down TIO~
Smith: Matt Meyhu has just decimated the Paradigm Champion…the number one contender…half of our main event for next week’s show…this is a disaster
Hood: Welsh is gone for one week and look…total chaos
Smith: Will we have a main event?
Hood: Absolutely, TIO won’t miss this opportunity. He’ll wheel all the way to Louisiana in a special little chair if he has to.
Smith: Yes, but what shape will he be in…as I obviously ignore your hideously flippant comment about handicapped individuals
Hood: If there’s any breath in that man’s lungs…he will fight and fight hard to win the OCW Title…there, is that good enough for you?
Smith: Much better…
~Meyhu is about to exit the ring when the lights go out~
Smith: WHAT THE…THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE HOODED FIGURE!!
Voice: EEEKKK!!
Smith: Did…did you just eek?
Hood: NO! It was some dumb bitch behind me…stupid women, ahem
Smith: This music! I've got the heebeejeebees!
Hood: Can we get the fucking lights on, geezus!
~The words SAVE THEM start to slowly flash in and out on the tron for a while then the solid words YOU CAN'T stay on the screen. Lights come on and surrounding the ring is twenty people all in assortment of hooded figures and people dress as Five Nights At Freddie's character with all heads tilted to the side a horror movie clichê. Meyhu is visibly confused and a little frightened, because who wouldn't be? The figures and puppet characters slowly move towards the ring and some even start to get on the apron as Meyhu stands near some of the OCW medics. He grabs one and uses him as a shield, his fear growing larger. The lights go out, and someone let's out a girlish scream~
Smith: Hood!
Hood: WHAT
Smith: Again?!
Hood: It's that fucking girl man, I swear!
~A few moment's pass and the lights return, revealing Meyhu standing alone, safe, sound and very relieved. He then looks up the ramp and points. On the stage, we see Carrington and Autumn tied up on chairs, back to back, unconscious and covered in glitter. Meyhu tosses the medic he was prepared to use as a shield down and rushes to save his teammates~
Smith: What does this Hooded Figure have planned for Stainless Steel Ride? The Aptitude is heavily featured in next week’s show…this…this could get ugly
Hood: Well it is a prison so I’d say it would be hard for him to get in…but, ya know, since when did that get in the way of a good wrestling attack!
Smith: Indeed…I don’t know what’s going to happen in that main event. The fans are cheering for TIO…whose daughter is missing. Meyhu just laid out his Aptitude partner, TIO. The faction is breaking. The Hooded Figure is deeply embedded within their heads. There is so much going on…and, to top it all off…the OCW Title is on the line…holy hamburgers!
Hood: And now you just ruined it…fucking hell
Smith: Stainless Steel Ride is next Monday folks…it’s the biggest event in OCW history. Don’t miss out…we’ll see you from Louisiana…good night everyone!
Hood: How much are night lights?
Smith: Huh?
~We fade to a shot of Jack Puffer, inside the Key West airport. He looking at a list of flight numbers. He spots a number for a flight to New Orleans. He writes it down on his hand. He then heads over to buy a ticket. He’s got some ear plugs in, listening to Katy Perry’s hit single “Chained to the Rhythm.” He grabs a bottle of water, wedged into his back pocket and takes a drink. The bottle is covered with condensation. He sighs with relief…that hit the spot. He’s up next, he steps up and looks down at his hand. The number is all smudged~
Jack Puffer: Hmm, interesting
Airline Employee: Sir, what flight?
Jack Puffer: Uhh…hmm…it looks like, ah, yes, there it is….I’m sure of it!
~Puffer rattles off some numbers. The lady types them in and brings up a total. It’s well over a grand. Puffer laughs~
Jack Puffer: Wow! Airline fares sure have gone up since I last flew. I think that was…was it 1995? I don’t know…time flies when you’re always on a case! Anyway, good thing I’ve got this company card to pay for my travel expenses!
~Puffer hands over the card. It’s accepted. He receives his ticket and heads off. As he does, we see a name on the ticket…”Amsterdam”. We fade to black~