OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, June 5th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~Howard the Duck comes to an end. Many people contemplate their lives. Bottles of pills, freshly loaded handguns, and extra sharpened knives are within reach. Is life worth living? How could so many people shit on a movie as GLORIOUS as Howard the Duck? That’s it! THAT’S FUCKING IT! I’m going to end it all, they say. Until that sweet ass OCW logo appears. A warm blanket of happiness…of comfort envelops the distraught viewers. Life is good. They will be okay. There will be no STARZ programming related suicide tonight! We fade into the OCW Arena…fans are going crazy! A few signs snare our attention. “IF ALICE WEARS A HELMET ITS BECAUSE SHE’S RETARDED – HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ‘CONCUSSIONS’” “THERE’S NOTHING TINY ABOUT MUTINY!” “THE PURPLE VIP NEEDS TO BE LEFT ALONE! STOP ATTACKING HER!” “MACK AND LEVI – THE MATCH THAT NEVER HAPPENED 3 YEARS AGO” “I LIKE TIO?” “MEYHU WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS LIKE HE CATCHES FISH. MEYHU CATCHES A LOT OF FISH” “TONIGHT WILL BE PERFECTLY MARVELOUS!” “WHY ARE AUTHORITIES JUST NOW INVESTIGATING IGGY HARDY FOR SOMETHING?” “MADYSON CARTER’S ASS NEEDS IT OWN ZIP CODE!” “LIAM ZUA IS THE LUCKIEST MAN IN OCW!” “LUKAS EMERY WITH LIGHT IT UP TONIGHT!” “I AM THE HOODED FIGURE, HAHA…” this fan is immediately abducted by OCW security. With that, we focus on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! We are just TWO weeks from Stainless Steel Ride? Can you feel it?
Hood: Your hand better not be on my leg
Smith: Not tonight!
Hood: Sheesh
Smith: We have our final Process of Elimination Qualifier tonight with four newcomers, one returning star and, of course, the former OCW Champion PerZag stepping back inside an OCW ring
Hood: If you people think anyone OTHER than PerZag is winning tonight, you obviously haven’t watched much wrestling. Shit was put together as a gift for the Zag’s return.
Smith: I don’t know about that, Hood. Madyson Carter and Lukas Emery were extremely impressive in their debuts AND I’m told OCW management has high hopes for Liam Zua.
Hood: Should be rad
Smith: We’ll also see the OCW Paradigm Champion in action as he takes on Josie Barnes. I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing a change in The Incredible One
Hood: Did he shave his beard?
Smith: No! I’m referring to his personality he seems to be…well, more likable
Hood: I fucking hope not, talk about ruining a great career!
Smith: CJ O’Donnell will look to bounce back against Annie Alvarez…last time we saw Alvarez she was enjoying the greatest night of her OCW career only to have it taken away and turned upside down LITERALLY by Damian K’
Hood: I guess that relationship is finished
Smith: I’ve known Annie a long time. There’s no way she’d give Welsh a second chance after that. As if that weren’t enough, we’ve got Mack O’Connor taking on Levi Russow…that could be a sleeper for Match of the Month!
Hood: You’ve got an alcoholic against, well, whatever the fuck Levi is
Smith: And, to top things off
Hood: Ah fuck…seriously? This is the ‘marquee’ match in your opinion
Smith: Alice Knight will face dangerous odds as she steps into the ring with a diagnosed history of concussions against The Lockwood Party
Hood: I went down to my recent hardwood store and purchased a few super strong hammers…I’m going to give them to the Lockwoods before their match
Smith: Now why would you do that?
Hood: Just to work on the ring, make sure it’s nice and sturdy
Smith: Hey…wait
Hood: Wait what?
Smith: You want the Lockwoods to hit Alice in the head with those hammers! I know your tricks, Hood! What an awful idea! You should be ashamed!
Hood: The only shame I feel follows any contribution I make toward the ‘Alice Knight Experience’ on Massacre
Smith: Isn’t she great? So glad she’s back! We’ve got a loaded night everyone…Stainless Steel Ride is in 14 days…eeeekkk!!!
Hood: Geezus
Smith: Let's head backstage while we get the ring set up for CJ and Annie
Hood: What happened to Stills? What happened to PKA and Easton
Smith: I received word they were changed to Cancelled Matches
Hood: Ah, my favorite match stipulation!
Smith: It is less work, yes. Backstage we go!
~We cut backstage. Annie Alvarez is dressed, ready to compete. She isn’t her usual self. Her eyes stare at the locker room floor. Her hair acts as a curtain, hanging toward the floor, shielding her face. It appears as though it hasn’t been washed recently. She doesn’t have much makeup on, that we can tell. Her posture is one of defeat. A shadow approaches, hovering over. She sees the dark circle absorbing her own shadow…she senses the presence~
Annie Alvarez: I didn’t think he’d do that to me.
~The presence stops moving, standing directly over Annie. She continues to stare at the ground~
Annie Alvarez: He won’t return my calls, my texts…did he play me? Did he ever care for me?
~A giant, cloaked hand reaches out. It pats Annie on the shoulder. She looks up with sad eyes~
Annie Alvarez: You were right, all along. I should have listened to you…I’m sorry.
~The hand removes itself from her shoulder. It balls into a fist…the fist hovers eye level to Annie…it then spreads out and flips over, showing an empty palm~
Annie Alvarez: Are you sure? I know I promised but…I’m having second thoughts. This could get us all in a lot of trouble.
~The hand doesn’t back away. Annie stares at it. She sighs~
Annie Alvarez: You’re right. I should have trusted your judgment from the beginning…if I had, none of this would have happened. We’ll do it your way.
~Annie reaches into her wrestling boot. She pulls out a key. Carefully, she places it into the giant, gloved palm of the anticipatory hand. The hand closes, enveloping the key. He pulls away~
Annie Alvarez: Just…don’t hurt him too badly?
~We look up to find Plethora standing at the locker room doorway. He gives a silent, solemn nod before exiting. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I feel sorry for Annie Alvarez…she obvsiouly had feelings for Marcus Welsh and, well, he didn’t treat her the way she expected or deserved
Hood: What the fuck is Plethora going to do? What kind of key is that?
Smith: I don’t know…you don’t think…could that be the key to releasing Scott Syren?
Hood: Oh man I fucking hope so!
Smith: Whatever it is…I doubt the result will be a desired one for Marcus Welsh or…well, okay, just Marcus Welsh. We all know Buffet doesn’t pay attention to what’s going on and the Eastern European, well, he’s not the most alert man in the world.
Hood: That’s putting it fucking mildly
Smith: Indeed
“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait till I get my money right…”
~‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’ hits and the fans disapprove. ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu steps out from the back and stands at the top of the ramp with a smug grin on his face. With the Savage title around his waist and a tag team title over his shoulder, Meyhu begins walking toward the ring as he embraces the boos.~
Hood: Shut up, Matt is here!
Smith: I didn’t say anything.
Hood: I know it was coming!
~Meyhu climbs through the ropes and poses in the middle of the ring for a moment before grabbing a microphone. The music fades out.~
Matt Meyhu: Thank you, thank you! I appreciate your undying support!
Smith: Is he for real?
Matt Meyhu: As Stainless Steel Ride gets closer, so does the matchup of the century. The Marvel versus The Incredible One. Two all-time OCW greats…
Smith: Oh, brother.
Matt Meyhu: But by the end of the night, only one of us will be able to call themselves the champion. It’s not a great position to be in, trust me. Sure, the winner will have all the glory. He will go down in history. He will be remembered forever! Well, as your future OCW Champion…
~The fans begin to boo again. Meyhu waves them off.~
Matt Meyhu: As your future OCW Champion… Guys, don’t boo him. He deserves better than that! And that’s why I’m out here now. As the future OCW Champion, I would like to remind the man who is not only my opponent, but also my tag team partner, that we’ve got another task to handle at Stainless Steel Ride. He may not walk out with the top prize, but he’ll still have these to fall back on…
~Matt slaps the Tag Team Championship on his shoulder.~
Matt Meyhu: And hey, you’ll still have the Paradigm title to fall back on, right? So come on out here, buddy. What do you think? You guys want us to hug it out?
~More boos echo throughout the arena as everyone awaits the Paradigm Champion. “Lean Back” by Fat Joe begins to play as the crowd is split down the middle with cheers and jeers as the Incredible One walks out with a serious look on his face, staring a hole into Matt Meyhu. He doesn’t acknowledge the crowd in any way as he makes his way down the ramp.~
Smith: This is the most focused I’ve ever seen TIO.
Hood: He better be focused in salvaging this friendship!
Smith: Maybe TIO is realizing that the Aptitude way is wrong.
Hood: You take that back! The Aptitude lifestyle is the champion lifestyle!
~TIO rolls into the ring as he paces to the other side to grab a microphone. He stops in the middle to look to his right, staring at Meyhu, who has a welcoming smirk on his face. TIO ignores it as he grabs a microphone. His music die downs as dueling chants of “Let’s go TIO! TIO sucks” echoes in the arena. Both men survey the crowd, noticing the history being made by the positive chants for a man who was once the most hated in OCW.~
TIO raises the microphone to speak…
~…but is caught off by a BLAST of red and blue pyro from all four corners of the ring, surprising both Tag Team Champions!~
Smith: Wait! Could it be?!
Hood: No!
~“Invincible” by OK Go blares over the arena speakers, causing an absolute eruption of cheers from the OCW faithful!~
Smith: It is!
Hood: No!
Smith: What do you mean, “no”? There they are!
~Making their first official OCW entrance as a team in over a decade, “Perfect” Paul Paras and “Marvelous” Mario Maurako stride out onto the stage, soaking in the raucous adoration of the fans. Paras and Maurako take in the moment, seemingly enjoying the warm welcome, then nod to one another and shift their attention back to the ring. The Minnesota wrestling legends walk down the ramp with a purpose.~
Smith: I can’t believe what we’re about to see!
Hood: WHAT?! I can’t hear anything!
Smith: That’s because these fans love the former OCW Tag Team Champions! The only two-time OCW Hall of Famers! PERFECTLY MARVELOUS are here!
Hood: God, Smith, throw your panties at them already.
Smith: Now Hood, I seem to remember you being a huge PM fan during their original OCW run.
Hood: Yeah, but that was before they interrupted the Aptitude! What have these guys ever done to deserve this spotlight?
Smith: Well, besides the Hall of Fame, they were Tag Team Champions, both Intercontinental Champions, Triple M was US and Hardcore Champion, Triple P was the World Champion...
Hood: Shut up!
~Perfectly Marvelous simultaneously slide into the ring as their music fades out, standing across the ring from TIO and Meyhu, who have not once taken their eyes off the returning stars. The crowd breaks into a chant of “WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!” Maurako climbs the middle turnbuckle and poses for the crowd, firing them up even more while Paras is handed a microphone from ringside.~
Paul Paras: Well… that was rather incredible.
~The fans cheer once again as Paras raises a hand to them, as if to say “thank you.” TIO says something to Paul that isn’t caught on mic while Meyhu is clearly annoyed.~
Paul Paras: Hold up, “Incredible One,” I wasn’t talking about you. See, these fans may have seen us battling it out like equals on OCW Survivor, but Tribal Councils and Amazon challenges are one thing— here, in this ring, everyone else is further down the number list, because the only “Ones” are the Perfect One and the Marvelous One.
~Another explosion of fan support rocks the arena. Paras perfectly flips the mic over his shoulder to his tag team partner while flashing his trademark smirk at the Aptitude. The Crimson Adonis catches the mic and clears his throat.~
Mario Maurako: Now a lot of fans around the world have been asking us why Paul and I returned to OCW and deliberately devastated the Tokyo Knives. Trust me, it was nothing personal, Knives. However, we’ve been hearing all about how OCW is under siege by a bunch of punk kids who want to ruin the tradition and legacy of this company, and that isn’t going to fly with these Hall of Famers!
~Mario points at TIO and Meyhu in turn.~
Mario Maurako: You two goons hold those belts and represent some of the best this company has to offer, and that makes us sick.
~Meyhu seems pleased with that assessment and shines up his championship belts. TIO appears conflicted and glances back and forth between Matt and Mario with a grimace on his face. The Minnesota Messiah retakes the mic.~
Paul Paras: Gentlemen, let’s keep this perfectly simple-- we worked too long and hard to build this place to see it run into the ground. So instead, the Perfect One proposes that Perfectly Marvelous runs you into the ground at Stainless Steel Ride and takes those Tag Team Titles back to where they belong. Because you may be good…
Mario Maurako: You may be great…
Paul Paras: But you’re not…
Both: PERFECTLY MARVELOUS.
~The capacity crowd finishes PM’s catchphrase with them and cheers with excitement afterward. Matt Meyhu steps forward next to TIO, both clearly irritated with their SSR opponents. Meyhu whispers something in TIO’s ear and places both of his championship belts down on the ring apron. TIO nods and follows suit as Maurako motions with both hands for the champions to “bring it on.”~
Smith: Uh oh, we may see a preview of Stainless Steel Ride here tonight!
Hood: Good! Kick the old guys’ asses, Matt!
Smith: What about TIO?
Hood: Right. He should kick their asses too!
Smith: Well it certainly looks like any issues between the Aptitude are getting patched up quickly in their mutual goal of defeating Perfectly Marvelous ahead of the OCW World Title Match.
Hood: There are no issues! Only the beatdown they’re about to issue to PM! Yes!
~Paras and Maurako stand with an air of confidence as they stare down their PPV opponents. Meyhu gets in TIO’s face to get him fired up and the Incredible One responds with a motivating double-hand slap to Matt’s chest. Meyhu does the same to TIO as they both turn toward their opponents in unison. TIO motions for PM to come at him and the Marvel delivers another hard motivation slap to TIO’s back… shoving him forward, causing him to collide right into Triple M!~
Smith: Wait a second! What was that?!
~TIO backs up from the musclebound brick wall he just ran into and looks back for support from Matt… but Meyhu is nowhere to be found, as he grabs his title belts and hightails it backstage, leaving TIO behind as the crowd rains down boos!~
Smith: Meyhu just left The Incredible One to the wolves!!
Hood: That was just a little tap on the back. TIO must have tripped.
Smith: He shoved him!
Hood: Obviously an accident. This is self-preservation, Smith! Matt has a World Title match to prepare for!
Smith: So does TIO! That’s his partner in there!
~Maurako shrugs and spins a shocked TIO around to face him again, then lifts him off his feet with ease into a jackknife hold. Before TIO can so much as comprehend what just happened, Paras runs and springs off the middle rope, rebounding into a devastating flying knee smash into The Incredible One’s face that can be heard throughout the arena as the crowd goes insane! TIO collapses to the mat in a heap.~
Smith: BLAST FROM THE PAST! Perfectly Marvelous have demolished The Incredible One! And Matt Meyhu ran away like a…
Hood: A scalded dog? Is that what you were going to say? No, Smith, Matt ran off like a CHAMPION!
~”Invincible” plays again as Maurako looks backstage and shakes his head at Meyhu’s departure. Paras remains crouched next to TIO, staring down at the betrayed and knocked out Paradigm Champion. The Minnesota Messiah’s smirk forms again and stands up to slap a high-five with his partner and pose for the crowd.~
Smith: In any event, Perfectly Marvelous look like they’re picking up right where they left off and things appear anything but settled between the members of the Aptitude. If they can’t coexist at Stainless Steel Ride, we’ll have new Tag Team Champions! And what does this mean for the OCW World Title Match?
Hood: How the hell should I know? I guess they’ll just beat each other up more?
Smith: The Aptitude may not last, in its current form, POST Stainless Steel Ride…the greed that runs THICK through these individuals veins is too much for ANY of them to exist as a unit
Hood: Just stop it, alright? You’re getting a little too amped up over there. I can only imagine what would happen if Alice Knight showed up right about now, you’d probably explode
Smith: I’m being told we’ve got a special someone backstage
Hood: Son of a bitch
Smith: Let’s head back there!
~Mack O'Connor walks down the hallway backstage, looking door to door with a duffel bag over his shoulder. He finally comes to the door he's looking for: Alice Knight. He hesitates, then knocks on the door. After a moment, Alice answers~
Alice: (Surprised)- Mack? Mack O'Connor. The Big Mack... get it... like the hamburger. I'm pretty good at nicknames... What's up?
Mack: Yeah... So, look... You were pretty nice to me in my early days here... And I don't know how to say it... But I'm trying to be a better person, ya know? And someone recently challenged me to do something nice for someone.
Alice: Hmmm. Okay?
~Mack takes an old boxing headpiece out of his bag~
Mack: I know it's not much... But I figured you could use it. I know you're back, but you're worried about getting hurt... Maybe this could help?
Alice: Oh... wow! This looks vintage. Like is this from the 1930s or something? This might work. I am currently shopping around for helmet-slash-head protection ideas. Stop me from getting another life threatening concussion you know? This one is pretty damn cool. Do I like owe you any money? I was just rolling quarters, I could give you a few if that's cool.
Mack: Nah, it's a gift. I don't need it anymore. Would rather it do good for someone than sit around and collect dust, ya know?
~They exchange a smile and a nod~
Mack: Well, I'll see you around.
Alice: Sure... and Mack. Thanks for looking out. See you around.
Mack: Of course. Good luck tonight.
Alice: You too.
~Mack walks off, and Alice smiles as she examines her new headgear. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: What a great gesture...Mack O'Connor held up his end of the bargain or, well, lived up to his word, at least
Hood: Look at that fucking thing...how is that supposed to protect anyone?
Smith: It's the thought that counts, Hood!
Hood: Thoughts don't count for shit, Smith. The thought that counts, give me a break. I've had a lot of thoughts and am still sitting next to you with the same shitty salary I had in 1999.
Smith: Terrific! Alright, it's time to get the in ring action started...let's head down to ringside!
”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell (12-2) vs. Annie Alvarez (5-4)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~”Girl All The Bad Guys Want” by Bowling for Soup begins to play. A subdued, sullen Annie Alvarez appears from behind the curtain. She’s alone and not feeling too…groovy. She makes her way to the ring…she climbs the steps and enters in through the ropes~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 125lbs…Annie Alvarez!!!
~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The fans fill the arena with boos. CJ O’Donnell appears from behind the curtain. A few fans chant “JACQUI!” at the Aptitude member. He blocks them out and focuses on Annie. He’s not fucking around this week. He heads down the ramp and hops up onto the apron. He climbs in through the ropes and promptly removes his OCW Tag belt…it falls to the mat~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions… “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: It’s been a rough couple of weeks for Annie Alvarez…she was handed a title, only to have it brutally taken away moments later…a treacherous act that was approved by her romantic interest
Hood: That’s no reason to not be wearing the booty shorts…that’s like half her gimmick!
Smith: I think it gives her a more mature appearance
Hood: Oh, so you mean old
Smith: No, that’s not what I mean
Hood: That’s what it sounded like to me…no wonder Welsh dropped her ass
~Belvedere scoops up the OCW tag belt and exits the ring with it. CJ heads straight for Annie…she slides her upper body between the middle and top rope, looking for a reprieve. Scruff hustles over, trying to keep CJ away. CJ shoves Scruff aside and unloads on Annie’s ribcage with clubbing forearms! She falls to one knee, pulling her upper body back into the ring…CJ drills her in the back with forearms…she falls to both knees…he continues his assault until Annie is lying face down on the mat. At this point, he stomps on her back, shoulders and head until she quits moving…Scruff pulls him away. CJ marches around the ring with his arms in the air, yelling obscenities. The crowd boos loudly telling him to fuck off~
Smith: Was that really necessary? At least allow your competitor to get set before assaulting her!
Hood: The bell rang…what the fuck else was he supposed to do…sit down and have a cup of tea?
Smith: Oh, a cup of tea sounds really good actually…are you a fan of green or white…black’s not bad either
Hood: Twisted Tea!
Smith: I’m not familiar with that brand…I’ll have to look for it next time I’m shopping
~O’Donnell, finished bullying the crowd, goes back after Annie. He drags her into the center of the ring. She appears lifeless. Whatever fighting spirit we’ve come to expect out of her, it’s gone. CJ lifts Annie up and hooks her around the waits…he then tosses her over his head with a German Suplex. He decides not to bridge into a pin, instead letting go. Annie rolls over, onto her stomach…aside from that, she doesn’t move~
Smith: The Distinguished Plex…this…this just feels like the perfect storm
Hood: Mark Wahlberg is out here?
Smith: No! I’m talking about emotions…CJ is pissed, Annie is down…not a good combination
Hood: Weak ass booking?
Smith: Well, if the booker of OCW were a psychologist, maybe
~CJ stands over Annie…he kicks her onto her back. He places his foot behind her head and sits her up. He then places his foot under her chin and arrogantly aids her in standing. The crowd boos with several “DICK HOLE!” chants sounding out~
Smith: Interesting alteration to an otherwise common chant
Hood: Is being a Dick Hole WORSE than an Ass Hole?
Smith: I couldn’t tell you
Hood: It sounds worse but, when you think about it, it might be better. You definitely get to see more pussy
Smith: Okay, that’s enough
~Annie is finally standing, albeit barely. She might as well be out on her feet. CJ runs into the ropes, he bounces off and leaps through the air…he crushes Annie in the face with Irish Knowledge!! She crumbles to the mat. CJ goes for a nonchalant cover as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings with the crowd booing vociferously~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions…”THE DISTINGUISHED” CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!
Smith: Dominating and disgusting win by CJ
Hood: Everything about CJ disgusts you
Smith: Because he’s a vile human being. I don’t know what Alice sees in him
Hood: Money, power, fame…a really strong knee cap that could take out a legitimate threat like, say, Bob Grenier
Smith: He does have a strong knee cap
Hood: The most battle tested knee cap in history!
Smith: Regardless…he gets back on the winning track at the expense of Annie who has had a really, really rough few weeks
Hood: The ups and downs of being an OCW wrestler. Oh well, at least she’s got that grim reaper weirdo to hang out with
Smith: Yes, there is that. Well folks, let’s head backstage!
~The cameras cut to backstage, where we see Lukas Emery walking down the hall, as he’s stopped by Who’Re, the backstage interviewer~
Who’Re: Hey, Lukas...my name’s Who’re and I’m one of the backstage interviewers here at OCW. Do you mind if we get a few words with you about your match tonight?
Lukas Emery: Uh...sure...pardon me but, what did you say your name was?
Who’Re: Who’Re…
Lukas Emery: Hooowww do you spell that?
Who’Re: W-H-O-apostrophe-R-E…
Lukas Emery: Soooo...it spells whore…
Who’Re: But that’s not my name….
Lukas Emery: Im not judging love, just pointing out something. No worries.
Who’Re: Oooo, that British accent…
Who’Re: What do you mean “one of THOSE girls”?
Lukas Emery: You know, the type of girls that as SOON as they hear a guy with a British accent, they’re all over him.
Who’Re: I’ll have you know I am strictly professional with my job.
Lukas Emery: And your questions were?
Who’Re: Do huh now?
Lukas Emery: Your questions...you said you were going to ask me some questions about my match tonight.
Who’Re: OH! Right. What is your mindset going into your main event match tonight?
Lukas Emery: Focused, determined. I’m going out there with a purpose, and I’m going to walk out as the victor.
Who’Re: You seem very confident. Are you worried about getting too cocky?
Lukas Emery: I know it’s going to be a battle out there, but I was battle born, I have gone into matches like this before many times, and have come out on top.
Who’Re: Any fear of what’s going on with Josie Barnes being a distraction?
Lukas Emery: It won’t be a distraction.
Who’Re: How do you know? With the attacks, and the secret admirer...how do you know something won’t happen while you’re out there for your match?
~Just then, we see someone put their arm around Lukas from off camera~
Levi Russow: ‘Cause, sugartits...she’ll be under MY protection during then, as we cheer on my boy here.
Lukas Emery: As someone once told me, you never go in blind. Always have a plan.
Levi Russow: Time to execute plan kick ass.
~The two start to walk off~
Who’Re: Best of luck to you in your matches tonight.
Levi Russow: Doooooon’t need it!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I think we’re seeing the rise of two future stars!
Hood: So does Who’Re, apparently. She’s macking on Josie’s man!
Smith: No she’s not…she’s simply doing her job
Hood: No way…Nathan Dravers crapped out and now she’s trying to seduce Lukas Emery
Smith: Never judge a book by its cover, Hood. She is the most professional backstage interviewer this company has ever had
~Somewhere backstage the crestfallen Jones dies a little on the inside~
Hood: How about that time she flashed the crowd during a Dravers match?
Smith: Uhh, err…well…that’s an outlier, Hood! You can’t judge a person by one moment
Hood: When CAN you judge a person, Smith?
Smith: Let’s move on! I'm told Rebel has arrived...let's head backstage!
~In the Backstage area, Rebel is stalking through the halls with an aggressive look on his face. He walks down a corridor towards a door with the words "Iggy Hardy" written on it, he quickly slams the door open, and looks around, he slams the door shut as a staff member approaches down the corridor~
Rebel: Where's Hardy! That son of a bitch wants to play games around here and drag my name through the mud, we'll see how that plays out for him.
~The staff member shrinks back against Rebels uncharacteristic anger, he points down the hall~
Staff: H-he was down near the parking lot.
~Rebel storms away down the corridor towards the parking lot~
Smith: Well, Rebel is certainly upset
Hood: Do you think Iggy keyed his motorcycle?
Smith: No. I think it has to do with the ongoing investigation. Rebel is being wrongfully investigated and Iggy isn’t helping matters
Hood: Well, to be fair, it is Iggy Hardy. The only people who benefit from his behavior are Key West drug dealers
Smith: And, yet, this man is in a headline match at Stainless Steel Ride…wonderful
Hood: Hey, if you don’t like it, don’t hold an event inside a prison
Smith: A sobering comment of truth from my colleague. Anyway, how about some more in ring action? Alice Knight takes on the Lockwoods and that match is next!
Hood: Please let this be the end of her retirement tour…I can’t take anymore!
Smith: Stop it. This is her return match
Hood: And I’m already over it
Smith: Let’s head down to ringside!
Handicap Match
Alice Knight (6-1) vs. The Lockwood Party (0-0)
Belvedere: The following matchup is a Handicap match scheduled for one fall!! Everybody please get on your feet in welcoming back your favorite wrestling star!
~ ”Electrified" by Dressy Bessy begins to play as the fans turn and cheer one of their all-time favorites, Alice Knight. She makes her way to the ring with a bubbly demeanor. She enters into the ring and kind of skips around for no apparent reason. She rushes the ropes and heads to the middle turnbuckle and waves to the fans as her music fades out. We notice that she’s wearing a the old boxing helmet Mack gave her, for protection~
Belvedere: I am pleased to announce…introducing first, from Bethel, New York…standing 5’8 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former OCW Champion…Alice Knight!!!
~Knight gives Belvedere a friendly hug. He tries not to break character with a smile…but she’s too much. He cracks a half smile. She does a weak imitation of the ‘moon walk’ back toward her corner. He looks at the entrance ramp, waiting for the Lockwoods~
Smith: Well…come on…you guys have been bullying Alice for two months now…come on out here.
Hood: Maybe Alice covered them with ANTS
Smith: I doubt that
~His Eminence by Common Market begins to play and the lights go out. "THE MUTINY" flashes on the screen and the red strobe lights begin to flash. The Lockwood Party make their way through the crowd with Bob Grenier behind them. All of them are still sporting the Alice Knight Retirement Tour 2017 shirts and throwing them to the crowd to a chorus of boos. Bob has a picket sign that bluntly reads "F**k ALice!" he turns it over and the other side reads "Hard!" they jump the railing and Bob Grenier immediately heads to the commentary table and puts on a headset~
Bob: I could be at home with my hand in my pants watching episode after episode of Roseanne.. but no! I'm here supporting my boys. We're doing the OCW fans a favor, Ridding them of Alice Knight. You're welcome!
Smith: Ladies and gentleman, that is the voice of our former champion, Bob Grenier.
Hood: Don't sound so enthused Smith!
Bob: Accolades aside it's not about me tonight it's about those guys in the ring. Have a t-shirt Hood. Smith, you don't get one!
Smith: Well that’s fine, I wouldn’t wear that filth anyway!
Bob: We're on the Alice Knight retirement tour baby! 2017. The Lockwood Party are about to break this bitch down before feeding her to the Alpha Wolf at Stainless Steel Ride. I'm going to spill her blood across the walls of the Louisiana State Correctional Facility but that's a story for another day.
Smith: Wow…let’s hope it doesn’t go that far!
~Bob stands up and starts applauding The Lockwood Party before sitting back down. The bell finally sounds. The Lockwoods surround Alice. She puts her fists up, ready to fight. Tim plants his foot…Alice turns toward him, placing her back toward Jack. Jack springs forward…Alice turns around and is met with a superkick!! She stumbles backward into the arms of Tim who seamlessly tosses her over his head with an inverted Exploder Suplex!! She plants front first into the mat before rolling out, onto the floor. The fans boo loudly as the Lockwoods take a brief moment to soak in the heelish atmosphere~
Smith: What the heck? Why? It’s already two on one…how many advantages do they need?
Hood: They aren’t stupid, Smith. They aren’t the Dravers. They know Alice Knight is backed 100% by management around here…you’d need 20 against one to even have a shot!
Bob: How good would the Dravers have been if they’d stayed away from Alice Knight? Great, I say.
Smith: I don’t believe that for one second!
~Jack climbs through the ropes with Tim remaining inside the ring. He stomps on Alice, keeping her down. The fans at ringside boo…a few of them hoot. They are getting rambunctious. A certain section wearing owl masks – some OCW issued, others homemade, are especially vociferous. Jack grows enamored with their behavior. He leaves Alice alone and walks up to them, talking massive amounts of Canadian shit~
Smith: Jack has got to keep his focus on Alice, not the fans
Hood: How can he? Look at those fans…they are psychotic imbeciles!
Smith: They are enthusiastic!
Hood: They should be behind bars…just like their hero. I mean didn’t you hear…Alice beat up a pedestrian at some gas station the other day
Bob: You mean her treachery extends BEYOND OCW? It’s worse than I thought…
Smith: She stopped a robbery!
Hood: She was probably IN on the robbery and turned on the guy for good publicity…like that scene in Kingpin with the landlady
Smith: Right
~Alice gets to her feet…the fans start to hoot, asymmetrically…they are trying to do it in unison but can’t get it right…so it’s a bunch of “hoot, HOOT, hoot, Hootyhoot!” Jack thinks they are mocking him so he reaches out and grabs one by the neck. The fan tries to hoot in response but can’t locate his voice. Jack pulls back, bringing the fan halfway over the barricade. Alice kicks Jack in the groin from behind!! The fans go wild! Jack releases the fan and turns around, doubled over from pain. Alice hooks Jack and drops him with The Apache on the outside! The OCW fans are going wild with “Owl is Night!” chants. Alice smiles and starts to celebrate with a moonwalk…she doesn’t get very far…her back hits the apron, she turns to the side…Tim Lockwood is standing on the apron…he kicks Alice right in the face!! She splats onto the floor, back first. The fans quiet down~
Smith: Brutal…this just isn’t fair…why the head? WHY THE HEAD?
Hood: Because, despite the fact she’s a fucking idiot…that is the most intelligent portion of her body
Smith: She’s battling concussions…show some human decency!
Hood: No fucking way…she’s got a boxing helmet on, she’s okay
Bob: A boxing helmet would have been nice to wear in some of my matches. More partisan OCW booking!
~Tim hops off the apron and reaches for Alice’s head. He searches for the strap connection. He finds it and begins to work on releasing the helmet. A giant HOOT causes him to freeze. He looks over and a fan is standing atop the barricade! The fan, wearing an Owl mask, leaps off! Tim stumbles into the apron, the lower portion of his back slamming into the edge. He grimaces, reaching around, holding his lower back. The fan lands on his feet and stands there…he appears confused. Tim drops the fan with a vicious lariat!! The fan turns inside out, landing on the floor in between Jack and Alice~
Smith: I don’t think that fan thought things through
Hood: What a shock…an Alice Knight fan having zero clue as to what the fuck they are doing
Smith: And, for all you fans at home…let this be a reminder that you can enjoy yourselves at these shows just, please, for your own safety…keep it behind the barricade
Hood: I am SO glad she’s back
Bob: Sarcasm aside, me too! For reasons that are different from most. I just hope her fans enjoy this return…it won’t be PerZag short, but it’ll be pretty fucking close.
~Tim shakes his head, looking at the overzealous, probably injured fan. Management rushes in, dragging the fan away. The ringside fervor is still high pitched. Tim blocks it out and goes back for Alice Knight’s helmet. She surprises him with a small package!! The owlheads at ringside slap the top of the barricade ‘1, 2, 3!!!’ but, they are outside the ring…so it counts as much as Bifford’s 2014 presidency. Tim finally breaks away from the small package and returns to his feet, angry. Alice sits up and shrugs. The stairs are a few feet behind her…Tim throws a kick at Alice’s head, she ducks, leaning forward…Tim’s shin SLAMS into the steps with a loud bang!! He grabs his left leg and hops around, holding it in pain~
Smith: See? That’s what you get for being a mean, mean man.
Hood: He’s trying to win a wrestling match, Smith. He’s facing a person with a fucked up head…why WOULDN’T he go for the head?
Smith: Compassion? Respect for a fellow competitor?
Hood: It’s Alice fucking Knight! If he sent her into a vegetative state he’d be showing all of humanity compassion. Think about that
Smith: I’d rather not
~Alice rolls him up! The fans at ringside, once again slap the top of the barricade “1, 2, 3!!!” yet, as before, they are outside the ring so it doesn’t count. Alice lets go this time and laughs. Tim sits up, furious. Alice gets to her feet, looking at the angry Lockwood brother. Behind her Jack is finally coming around. Tim gets to his feet with his fists clinched. Jack gets to his feet…Tim charges at Alice with a lariat…she ducks and Tim nails an unsuspecting Jack, taking him back down! The fans at ringside go wild…Alice hops around the steps and flaps her arms up and down like a bird, hooting...the crowd starts to “HOOT!” over and over. Tim reaches up, pulling at his hair in frustration…he yells “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!”~
Smith: The fans, the owling out…it’s all getting to Tim Lockwood!
Hood: OWLING out…what the fuck?
Smith: A new term I just coined…could take off
Hood: I fucking hope not…geezus, what an awful phrase
~Tim hustles into a sprint…he leaps over the steps. Alice spots him coming after her and she slides into the ring, under the bottom rope…he’s right behind. She gets to her feet and hits the ropes, Tim pops to his feet…Alice leaps in the air…Tim catches Alice…he holds her in a ‘bodyslam’ position…Alice shakes her head ‘no’…Tim falls back and throws Alice over his head with a Fallaway Slam!! The crowd silences. Alice hits hard and rolls toward the corner, holding her head~
Smith: I hope her head is okay…it seemed to snap back when she hit
Hood: Oh here we go…poor Alice Knight
Smith: She’s injured, Hood…her head is vulnerable
Hood: Then she shouldn’t be in the mother fucking ring!
Smith: You know she can’t disappoint her fans
Hood: Trust me, they’d get over it
~Tim returns to his feet…he goes right after Alice, who is sitting up, against the bottom buckle. He grabs Alice by the hair sticking out from the back of her helmet…he yanks her toward the middle of the ring. He hooks Alice for a DDT…she fights out of it. The fans hold their breath, worried about her head. She throws some hard forearms into Tim’s abdomen. He lets go…Alice backs into the ropes, shoots off and nails Tim with a dropkick!! Tim stumbles back into the ropes…Alice lands on the mat and is slow to get up…the sudden motion has her equilibrium off. She gets to her feet and stumbles around while Tim recovers~
Smith: She’s not right, Hood
Hood: That’s what I’ve been saying all along! Nice to see you’re finally waking up
Smith: I mean physically…her head isn’t ready for this…we might need to stop the match
Hood: Seriously? Thank fuck! Hey! You, over there…ring the fucking bell, end this shit!
Bob: Relax, Hood…her career will come to an end in two weeks! How’s that shirt, by the way?
Hood: I’m going to put it on right now!
~Hood’s mic muffles as he slides the shirt over his head. Jack slides into the ring behind Alice. He spins her around and goes for something resembling a stunner. She shoves him off and into the ropes. He bounces off and she jumps into the air, jamming both knees into his back with a backstabber!! He rolls out of the ring, holding his back in pain. Alice returns to her feet and looks for Tim…the minute she faces him, she’s met with a boot to the face!! She hits the mat, holding her head in pain. The crowd boos and begins to chant “FUCK YOU!”~
Smith: These fans aren’t very happy with that cheap shot
Hood: Cheap shot? It was a boot to the head…what the fuck? You see, Bob…see this conspiracy bullshit?
Bob: I do, Hood. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to end it all.
Hood: This is an awesome shirt, by the way. I doubt I’ll ever take it off
Bob: Spread the word…people need to know that OCW programming will be watchable again in two weeks!
Smith: Why don’t you two get a room!
~Tim grabs the strap underneath Alice’s chin and pulls her to her feet. She slaps at his arm, feeling his fingers working to undo the connection. He slaps her across the face in response!! She staggers, nearly falling over…his grip around her chin strap is the only thing keeping her up. He yanks her close and grips her head with a front face lock…he lifts her into the air and drops her to the mat with a Brianbuster!! The crowd cringes…a few of the younger fans look somewhat emotional. Alice is motionless…Tim looks down and does the ‘throat slit’ he covers her, thinking the match is over. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP
Smith: Yes! Way to go, girl!
Hood: Smith just orgasmed
Smith: I did not
Bob: It’s okay if you did, Smith. The first step toward complete transparency is admitting the truth…you know, like admitting that Alice Knight sucks and takes advantage of this great company
Smith: I would never admit that!
Hood: He’s in denial, Bob
Bob: You know what they say…Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt!
~Hood and Bob share a nice laugh. Smith groans. Tim sits up on his knees, shaking his head. Jack crawls back inside the ring, still favoring his back. Tim looks at Alice, surprised she hasn’t lost yet. He says something to Jack…Jack gets to his feet. Tim pulls Alice up…he goes back to working on her chin strap. He’s frustrated, irritable…he gives up and tosses her at Jack saying ‘YOU GET THE FUCKING THING OFF.’ Jack goes to work on the chin strap…he spins Alice around, they are face to face. He looks down…Alice’s hand slowly rises…she POKES Jack in the eye!! He stumbles, reaching for his face…she rolls him up with a small package~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings…Jack kicks out immediately after. The crowd leaps to their feet with a tremendous ovation.~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…ALICE KNIGHT!!!!!
Smith: She did it! I can’t believe it!
Hood: Are you FUCKING kidding me?
Bob: Hold on, Hood…I’ll take care of this
~Alice gets to her feet…Tim is stunned, as is Jack. She stumbles around and falls to the mat, she rolls for the ropes…she’s able to roll out of the ring before Tim and Jack can get to her. Grenier removes his headset. We see Smith grab a nearby cord and toss it at his feet. He gets up to go after Alice but trips! Alice is able to get away, stumbling up the ramp. Grenier gets back to his feet…he sees she’s gone and gets into the ring with the Lockwoods. They are furious~
Smith: Thank goodness she got out of here in time!
Hood: These fucking cords…had Grenier not tripped he would have busted her up!
Smith: Perhaps but, as it stands, we will never know. Alice is, well, safeish in the back
Hood: Nobody is safe with the Knife Man running around
Smith: Indeed…but Alice passed Grenier’s test…now it’s his turn…can he survive hers?
Hood: Fuck yes
Smith: We will see…the main thing is her health. It was shaky in that match tonight, but she survived. I think she may need something stronger protecting her head.
Hood: I want to know what kind of chin strap that was. That fucker should have come off multiple times
Smith: A strong one!
~Bob Grenier throws a chair towards the ring. The Lockwood Party sit on their knees in disbelief as the crowd erupts in an "OWL IS NIGHT" chant. Owlie The Owl is spotted in the crowd flapping his wings and the crowd is going crazy as Bob loses his shit ringside, Bob grabs Smith and throws him to the floor before threatening Hood as well. Bob slides into the ring and kicks the bottom rope while yelling obscenities at the crowd and Alice Knight at the top of the ramp. They continue to cheer Alice as Bob drops to his knees and slams his fists off the canvas. The Lockwood Party try to console him when Alice is given a microphone~
Alice: Next week, You will face... THE LOCKWOOD PARTY!
~The crowd explodes and Bob's face goes flush. He starts muttering that it won't happen and that Alice "can't do this". Bob whispers something to The Lockwood's and they all begin to converse while Alice smiles and the crowd cheers. Bob still maintains that this match won't happen when The Eastern European makes his way out to the stage and stands beside Alice~
Eastern European: Mr Bob! You are man who has word. The week after this you have to wrestle Lockwood party! If match no take place then I set FIRE to Lockwoods. I also give no more title shots to you, Mr. Bob!
~Alice smiles at EE. EE leaves and "Electrified" By Dressy Bessy plays as Alice leaves as well. Bob and The Lockwood Party are still in the ring looking completely annoyed~
Smith: Well, there you go…next week Bob Grenier will face The Lockwood Party…the Mutiny is already in danger of being run out of OCW
Hood: I HATE ALICE KNIGHT
Smith: Let’s head backstage!
~We cut backstage, where we see Josie Barnes and Lukas Emery in their locker room, as Lukas is standing by the door~
Lukas Emery: Sure you don’t want anything else?
Josie Barnes: Yeah, just a bottle water is fine. Thanks, babe.
Lukas Emery: No problem, be right back.
Josie Barnes: Okay.
~Lukas opens the door and walks out the door, as Josie sits back in her chair, rubbing her neck. She pulls out her phone and starts to browse through it, when there’s a knock on the door~
Josie Barnes: Either he’s REALLY fast or he forgot something…
~She gets up out of the chair and walks over to the door~
Josie Barnes: Gee, babe...making me get up-
~She opens the door, but it’s not Lukas at the door. It’s the masked figure that attacked her last week. The masked individual cranes their head to the side~
Masked Attacker: ...
~Without warning, the masked attacker throws a punch at Josie, as she screams and stumbles back. She tries to regain her balance as the masked individual walks into the room. She tries to clear her throat and yell for help~
Josie Barnes: Lukas! Help! Help!
Masked Attacker: ...
~With no response, the masked attacker pushes Josie down with a force that sends her crashing into the chair. The attacker starts to slowly creep towards her, as she’s terrified~
Josie Barnes: Who are you!? Why are you doing this!?
~Just then, the masked attacker stumbles forward, as Lukas Emery comes flying back in the room and attacking the attacker. The attacker crashes into the wall, as Lukas grabs them by the collar and starts to lay into them with right hand shots. Lukas takes them and slings them across the room. Before Lukas can go any further, the masked attacker escapes the room and vanishes down the hallway, as Lukas shouts after him~
Lukas Emery: NEXT TIME IT’LL BE MY FUCKING BOOT DOWN YOUR THROAT YOU BLOODY BALLESS BASTARD!
~Lukas turns back to Josie, who is getting to her feet~
Lukas Emery: You okay, love?
Josie Barnes: Yeah, thanks to my Mr. Protector.
Lukas Emery: I heard you scream, and came running.
Josie Barnes: So happy I have you.
Lukas Emery: Always will.
~We cut away back to ringside~
Smith: Way to go Lukas! Protecting Josie from this stalker, attacker...whatever, this FELON
Hood: Felon?
Smith: Yes, FELON
Hood: Well, alright then.
Smith: It's nice to see a form of chivalry in a company filled with men like Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas
Hood: American...err NORTH American heroes!
Smith: They are no heroes of mine
~"Slow Me Down" by the Devin Townsend Band plays out across the arena as the fans burst into a chorus of cheers. Rebel bursts out through the curtain and walks down towards the ring, without wasting any time with his usual motions, he walks around the ring and grabs a microphone before sliding under the bottom rope quickly, he stops in the ring while the fans continue to cheer, once they calm down, he raises the mic to is mouth~
Rebel: Two weeks ago, live on Massacre, I got dragged out of this arena to answer for the crimes another man committed, answer for them because the man in question wants to hide himself away from the truth. This is a guy who calls himself intense, but really he's the most intensely stupid idiot to ever grace OCW with his presence. Yeah, I'm talking about Iggy Hardy.
~The fans are torn on how to react, some booing loudly. Rebel looks around at this lukewarm response and nods~
Rebel: Yeah, that's how I reacted too. It turns out, somebody from within this company shot a guy, left him fighting for his life in a hospital bed, and instead of owning up to his mistakes, ran. The description given fits exactly two of us here, and I know it's not me. That leaves you Iggy, and given your medicated state of mind, not only do I not understand what you're thinking, but I'm not entirely sure you do either.
~Rebel paces in the ring, he lowers the mic slightly and stops to think~
Rebel: It's an interesting turn of events though Hardy, in what? Two, three weeks? we square up at Stainless Steel Ride, for the Savage Championship, a chance for both of us to pick up our first pieces of Gold here in OCW, and we both end up embroiled in a criminal caper that could end with someone in Jail, in fact, I almost think there's something we could look into there for a stipulation, though at the moment it escapes me. Look Iggy, I saw what you had to say last week, saw you pretend you're not coked to the gills, saw you upset because I didn't choose to go down the old school route of backing you up, just because you're one of the boys, and I'll tell you why.
~The fans react more favorably to this comment, and Rebel continues on quickly~
Rebel: Iggy, there are many indiscretions I'll back someone up over, many. But I'll be damned if I'm going to be accused of attempted murder for someone, particularly someone who can barely control himself psychologically because of all the narcotic supplements pumping through his body. Yeah, Iggy, I don't buy your allergy shtick, and I'm not sure the cops did either, but luckily for you, you've got a pal who knows how to extract you from potentially incriminating situations. Well, Iggy, he can't help you out of our match at SSR, so I can hold out and take out my frustrations there, take out my anger on the fool who led me into this crap.
~The fans cheer loudly at this~
Rebel: The police interview was only a brief inconvenience Hardy, but I'll be sure all the hassle over these next few weeks, is driven right at your door. I'll be out here every week awaiting your response, awaiting your explanation for the heinous actions that led to your shooting a poor innocent man, until you give me a satisfactory answer. Iggy, you scream intense, week in, week out, attack defenseless people brutally whenever you're outside for some minor issue, then you somehow manage to defeat serious athletes in your matches. At Stainless Steel Ride, the wheels will be coming off your Intensity train while my Intelligence and Integrity win the night, and the belt. Beyond that, let’s hope you get the see the inside of a cell for the shit you've been doing. The Rebel Has Spoken.
~Rebel throws the microphone down and slides out of the ring, he spends a few moments talking to the fans~
Smith: Rebel is ready for Iggy...but is Iggy ready for Rebel?
Hood: Iggy is ready for a hurricane filled with tornadoes...he's ready for a mark STORM
Smith: He is a strong willed individual. That match could be the most talked about contest at Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: Two guys involved in an attempted murder fighting inside a prison...oh yea, people will talk
Smith: Stainless Steel Ride is shaping up to be the biggest event in OCW history. But, before we can get to June 19th, we must handle our business tonight and next week. We've got a few more in ring matches yet to take place...before we get to those, however, let's head backstage for an update on Alice
Hood: UGH
~Alice can be seen holding her head backstage after being victorious over the Lockwood Party. She sits on the bench wiping the sweat from her forehead with a towel. She goes to undress but all of a sudden CAP SLOCK barges in with papers in his hand. Alice looks scared~
Alice- Jesus, maybe try knocking next time - -
Cap Slock(cutting her off) EHHHHH? HUHHHH? HEY ALICE. DIDN’T QUITE HEAR YA. YOU SEE YA GOTTA SPEAK INTO MY EAR WITH THE HEARING AID…
Alice- Hearing aid? What kind?
Cap Slock- ABOUT 10:30PM. SO, ALICE I TALKED TO THE OFFICLAS AND…
Alice- And?
Cap SLock- I TALKED TO THE OFFICIALS, THEY SAID THE MATCH YOU WANTED IS A BIT HIGH BUDGET FOR OCW. BUT YOU MUST BE WELL LIKED…IT WAS APPROVED.
Alice- So you're telling me the ...
Cap Slock- HUHHHH? WHAT’S THAT?
Alice- Um, the match is approved? This is awesome... that's such good news, because my second match idea wasn't as cool. A ducks around the ring lumber jack match. I mean that wouldn't work and...
Cap SLock- EHHHHH????
Alice- A DUCK!
Cap Slock- A SUCK? ALICE…YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THAT, THE MATCH IS ALREADY APPROVED! LISTEN UP, LADY.
Alice- So... the match is set... Alice Knight. Versus. Bob Grenier. In the first ever BIRD CAGE MATCH! I like the sounds of that! Now Mr. Slock. If you could leave, i'd like to get changed...
~Cap Slock stands there looking at her~
Alice- I SAID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE! I AM GETTING DRESSED!
Cap Slock- OH I HEARD YOU. I MAY BE DEAF BUT NOT BLIND. CARRY ON.
~Alice looks weird at him and just shrugs as she slowly turns around back facing Slock as she begins untying her top. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: So Alice pitched a match to OCW management and they approved? What match could it be?
Hood: Who knows, probably an ant farm match.
Smith: Sounds intriguing
Hood: Fuck my life
Smith: Next up we've got The Incredible One taking on Josie Barnes...this should be a very interesting match up...let's head down to ringside!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment hits…the crowd goes wild! Josie Barnes appears from behind the curtain with a happy disposition. Fresh off her victory over PKA she appears ready to get on another win streak. She confidently walks down the ramp, doling out a few high fives to the younger fans in attendance. She climbs up the steps and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Lilly, Georgia…standing 5’2 and weighing in at 118lbs…Josie Barnes!!!
~”Lean Back” by Fat Joe hits. The OCW Paradigm Champion, The Incredible One makes his way through the curtain. He’s got a look of hatred on his face, glaring down the ramp at Josie Barnes, who remains in the ring. Something strange begins to happen…a portion of the crowd actually start to CHEER for TIO. He stops and listens. His brow furrows. He starts to respond in a positive manner before returning to his roots…his shoots the middle finger to the section of the crowd where the cheers are coming from. For whatever reason, they only get louder. He reaches the ring, steps up, onto the apron and through the ropes~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is the OCW Paradigm Champion…The Incredible One!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: First time we’ve seen The Incredible One in a while…guy takes more vacations than the sitting President!
Hood: Which makes sense because he’s just as powerful
Smith: I wouldn’t go that far
Hood: That’s because you have no GUTS
~”JOSIE!” “TIO!” starts to take place…a slight dueling chant. Don’t get this narrator wrong…the Josie chants FAR outweigh the TIO chants…but the TIO chants do exist. TIO isn’t sure how to react. Josie takes in the unexpected atmosphere with a smile. She walks up to TIO and offers a hand in the name of competition. TIO looks down at it~
Smith: Is this the start of a new TIO?
Hood: I hope not…right before the biggest match of his OCW career and he’s going soft? Fucking ridiculous
Smith: I wouldn’t call this going soft…it takes, as you said GUTS to alter your modus operandi so late in a career
Hood: How would you know anything about GUTS?
Smith: Because I have GUTS
Hood: No, Smith…you have no GUTS
~TIO slaps Josie’s hand away with his left palm. He backhands Josie across the face with his right hand…the impact spins Josie around…TIO hooks his arms behind her head…he lifts Barnes up and plants her into the center of the ring with a Full Nelson Slam!! The ring shakes from impact. TIO looks out at the fans and yells “CHEER ME NOW! CHEER ME!” The crowd responds with a thunderous, unison “BOOOOOO!!!”~
Smith: I’m not sure TIO knows how to take the fans and their appreciation. It seems to frighten him
Hood: Frighten him? What, did some three hundred pound wildebeest take her shirt off and flash him her saggy tits?
Smith: Heavens no! It’s just uncharted territory for the most hated man in OCW history. So, it would make sense he’d lash out
Hood: We need security to find this hideous, topless woman immediately!
~TIO nods, feeling instantly more at home. He grabs Josie by her thick, brown hair and whips her into a corner. Josie hits hard. TIO runs in with a clothesline, crushing Josie’s body into the buckles. TIO stands back and measures Josie up…he charges in with an elbow and smashes it into the side of Josie’s face! Barnes slouches in the corner…TIO hooks her around the waist and tosses her through the air, back into the center of the ring with a Gut Wrench Suplex. The crowd continues to boo~
Smith: So much for the compassion! TIO is dismantling the wide eyed, excitable Josie Barnes
Hood: He’s just letting her know there isn’t any fucking Santa Claus
Smith: I’m sure she knows that
Hood: You’d be surprised, Smith. There are a lot of gullible idiots in this world
~TIO stands over Barnes…he kicks her around like a bully would a weak animal. Josie rolls onto her front and gets on all fours. TIO nudges her head with his foot…it knocks her over. She crawls for the ropes. TIO smiles, enjoying exerting his dominance in such arrogant fashion. Josie’s arms are wrapped around the bottom rope…TIO paint brushes her face with his right foot. The fans continue to boo. Finally, Josie pushes his foot away…it’s an act that pisses TIO up. Josie slowly rises to her feet…TIO takes a few steps back and lunges forward with a lariat…Josie pulls down on the top rope…TIO flips over the top rope and lands roughly on the outside! The crowd’s boos come to a screeching halt as cheers begin to fill the OCW Arena~
Smith: I don’t care who you are…I don’t care who you’re facing…you CANNOT be that disrespectful without expecting to pay some kind of toll
Hood: That should be Josie’s finisher
Smith: What should?
Hood: Pulling the top rope down…it’s been by far her most successful move in OCW
Smith: I think the Fighter’s End works just fine for Miss Barnes
Hood: She should shelf the Fighter’s End and roll with the Fighter’s Plunge! A move where she pulls down the top rope causing her opponent to plunge to the outside!
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
~Josie is on her feet, leaning against the ropes. She begins to feed off the energy from the crowd. She looks down and sees TIO on the ground. She runs across the ring, she hits the ropes…she bounces off and sprints toward the ropes near TIO. TIO reaches his feet and turns, unsuspectingly, toward the ring…Barnes leaps through the ropes with a Suicide Dive!! She spears TIO backward, into the barricade!! He slams hard, reaching for his back. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: There’s that fighting spirit! C’mon, Josie!
Hood: Man, two weeks before Stainless Steel Ride…if she beats TIO would that force Welsh to REVOKE her Purple VIP badge?
Smith: I would hope not! OCW is and always has been about competition
Hood: Well, sure, for people like Syren, Biff, Meyhu, TIO…CJ…but Josie Barnes? No way, she’s just a cute face with a rockin body
Smith: She’s more than that, I can assure you
~Barnes is back to her feet, quickly. TIO leans against the barricade…Barnes throws a few well-placed kicks into TIO’s midsection. He grimaces, using the barricade for support. Josie throws a few quick jabs into his gut…she spins with a backfist into TIO’s face!! He nearly falls over, holding onto the barricade to keep from tumbling to the ground. Josie then performs a spinning wheel kick!! The impact finally sends TIO to the ground as he releases his grip from the barricade. The fans at ringside all pat Josie on the back with a few guys nearby saying “Man, I’d hate to be the guy who fucks her over!”~
Smith: Some fast paced striking…Josie Barnes was taught well by Jan Van Der Roost
Hood: Jan Van de whatta?
Smith: The head of Squires
Hood: He has a Squirrel head? But his last name is Rooster? I’m so confused!
Smith: Nevermind!
~Barnes pulls TIO back to his feet…she moves to whip him into the ring…TIO plants his feet into the ground, refusing to be pulled. His weight and restraint are too much for Barnes. She tries to kick him, but he blocks her leg. TIO then tries reversing Barnes’ Irish Whip…however, instead of sending her into the ring. He manipulates the positioning toward the steps. Barnes starts to move toward the steps but REVERSES TIO’s reversal and TIO dives head first into the side of the steps! He hits with a loud CLANG! The steps separate with the top portion flipping over and bouncing around~
Smith: TIO’s body decimated those steel ring steps…you know that had to hurt
Hood: What a bitch! She’s trying to injure TIO before his OCW Title Shot!
Smith: She is not…he started it…he tried throwing HER into the steps…all she did was avoid disaster by reversing TIO’s move…so, if you want to be truly objective…it’s TIO’s fault he hit those steps
Hood: You and your warped narrative…always gotta be anti TIO
Smith: I’m just calling it like I see it
Hood: Yea? Well your vision sucks!
~Josie stands over TIO with a look of surprise on her face. It’s almost as though she’s sorry for what occurred. A few fans yell at her from ringside…encouraging her to stay after TIO. Scruff hops out of the ring and inspects the damage. Josie apologizes profusely to Scruff but he doesn’t really care. He might be looking for a few loose kernels of popcorn. Josie focuses back on TIO…she grabs him by the back of his neck and looks toward the ring. He stands and shoves her off. He stumbles into the barricade. Josie has a look of surprise on her face…she’s trying to get him back into the ring. TIO motions with his hands for her to come at him. The fans encourage her yelling “KICK HIS ASS!” Caught up in the moment, Josie runs forward and drills TIO in the face with a dropkick!! He topples over the barricade and lands roughly onto the floor amongst the fans. They back up, giving him some room~
Smith: Weird match…it’s as though TIO is goading Josie into a hardcore element
Hood: I’m not sure what’s going through his mind…it’s been all sorts of fucked up for a while now
Smith: Yep, it’s been well documented that fatherhood has started to change the most evil man in OCW history
Hood: Further proof that people shouldn’t have kids
~Josie climbs over the barricade and helps TIO to his feet. He SPITS in her face before staggering back, into some fans. They shove him away. Josie wipes her face clean and frowns with disgust. She then drills TIO in the head with a forearm! TIO wobbles on his heels…Josie takes a few steps back and thrusts forward with a Superkick!! TIO falls to the ground, splatting hard on the unshielded, concrete floor. Scruff is watching from the other side of the barricade~
Smith: He might want to, ya know, begin a count
Hood: He’s got the attention span of Iggy Hardy…right now, he’s a fan
Smith: Yes but unlike the fans, he gets paid
Hood: Does he? Or is he simply allowed to live backstage during the week?
Smith: You know me…I don’t go around asking people how much they make. That is just plain rude.
~Josie hops atop the barricade…the crowd chants her name. She waits for TIO…he slowly gets to his feet, staggering around. Josie leaps off with her legs close together and her knees up near her chest. It looks like she’s going for a Codebreaker…TIO catches Josie!~
Smith: He caught her…I heard she had been working on a new finisher…a Codebreaker she calls the Barnes Experience…looks like she’s trying to pull it off
Hood: Not very well…that squirrel school sucks
Smith: Squires!
~Josie looks around nervously…TIO lifts her up, almost instinctively and he drivers her into the floor with You’re Incredibly Fucked!!!! The crowd groans as Josie is OUT. TIO is seated next to her, somewhat confused~
Smith: TIO has performed that move so often I think it just came natural to him…almost like a defensive reflex
Hood: Who cares? It worked…Josie’s fuckin done
Smith: I don’t see how she gets up…I just hope that young woman isn’t too badly injured
~Scruff realizes things have gotten out of control. He rushes back toward the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. He gets to his feet and yells ‘ONE!’ TIO hears the count and looks around…he finally spots Josie and realizes what’s happened. He crawls over Barnes, checking on her. The fans around yell at him to get away, fearing he might hurt her more~
Smith: Get away from her! That vile man…hasn’t he done enough?
Hood: Remember when he kissed MJ when she was knocked out…he did do that, right…or was that someone else
Smith: Knowing this place…it could have been anybody
~The fans grow irate. They throw kicks and punches at TIO. He finally stands and backs away, hands in the air. Scruff yells “THREE!” TIO hops over the barricade and rolls into the ring. He remains seated on the mat, shaking his head…he seems to be struggling, mentally~
Smith: Is he…could it be…is he feeling REMORSE for his actions?
Hood: No way, I think he’s just angry he didn’t punch those fans
Smith: I don’t think that’s it, Hood. I think TIO…dare I say it…might be maturing
Hood: Don’t do it, TIO! Maturation is for suckers!
~Scruff yells “FIVE!” TIO shakes his head, staring at the mat. Suddenly, the crowd lets out a loud cheer. TIO looks up…Josie is crawling over the barricade. Scruff yells “SIX!” She falls onto the floor and remains on her back for a moment. Scruff yells “SEVEN!”~
Smith: I can’t believe it! She might get back in this!
Hood: Are you fucking kidding me? Is she a zombie?
Smith: She’s a fighter, Hood!
Hood: No, I think she’s some kind of hot zombie
~Josie rolls onto her stomach and crawls for the ring. Scruff yells “EIGHT!” The crowd yells for her to continue. TIO stands and heads toward the ropes, looking down. Scruff yells “NINE!” Josie reaches for the apron, her hand grazes the cloth. She grabs on, trying to pull up…she’s almost there~
Smith: C’mon Josie!
Hood: Son of a WHORE
~Her grip slips! She falls back to the floor…Scruff yells “TEN!” and calls for the bell. The crowd deflates and begins to boo. TIO remains by the ropes, looking down at Josie~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!
Smith: What a horrible way to lose a match
Hood: One more second and she might have made it…oh well, too bad, so sad
Smith: You are an awful human being
Hood: Hey, at least I’m a human being!
~TIO shakes his head…he doesn’t seem too pleased with the win. He’s about to leave when something catches his eye…it’s Josie’s hand. She reaches up and grabs onto the apron. The crowd cheers. “JOSIE!” chants fill the arena. She pulls herself onto her knees. She fights onto the apron. TIO stands back, giving her room. Josie rolls back into the ring…the crowd goes wild!~
Smith: What a fighter…she may have lost but my goodness, what spirit
Hood: Oh please, this is all for show
Smith: She suffered one of the most devastating moves in OCW history ON concrete and was able to make it back to the ring
Hood: Yea, in OVER ten seconds…so, she loses
~TIO bends over Josie. The fans grow anxious. Scruff stands by, unsure of what’s going to happen. Josie looks up at TIO…she’s probably concussed. TIO extends his hand…the crowd gasps. Josie grabs it. TIO helps Josie to her feet…he shakes her hand and then raises it high into the air. The crowd goes exploded with applause and chants~
Smith: I can’t believe my eyes!
Hood: We’re hallucinating…somebody drugged us!
Smith: He IS changing, Hood. We’re seeing the renaissance of a new man!
Hood: I hope you’re fucking wrong. If that is the case…if he is changed, all I can say is…GO MEYHU
~TIO makes sure Josie can stand on her own. Once he’s confirmed she’s able…he exits the ring. He walks up the ramp…a few TIO chants can be heard…however the majority of the chants belong to Josie. She stands in the ring, soaking in the attention. She reaches for her head and neck, wincing in pain. Some OCW personnel rush in, under the ropes to tend to Barnes~
Smith: We’ve witnessed what I think is a historic moment. Josie has just elevated herself, in my eyes, as a future star…meanwhile, TIO is, well, a new man
Hood: I say fire his ass. Send him to wherever Dean is hiding. Those two deserve each other!
Smith: You certainly turned on him rather quickly
Hood: Hey, what can I say, I don’t back losers
Smith: Well TIO is 10-0 so he’s hardly a loser. Anyway…an interesting night so far with more to come…
~We see the ring is cleared...Josie has returned to the back~
~As the fans inside the arena are making their voices heard in anticipation of the next exciting match, an increasingly familiar song starts up on the house PA, bringing a sizeable portion of the crowd to their feet~
Smith: The Alpha…well, you know, B-word is in the house!
Hood: Great. I thought we'd be rid of her for one week. ONE FREAKIN' WEEK. Guess not...
Smith: The fans don't seem to mind, though...
~In fact, ever since Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' began to play, the fans made a point of showing their appreciation for OCW's indie veteran; and, once she is done headbanging to her own theme tune, Jacqui Monroe returns the love in spades, slapping hands indiscriminately to either side of the ramp~
Smith: Jacqui Monroe, of course, has been unstoppable since arriving at OCW. She may have lost her place in line for the Tag Team Championships, but she's achieved everything else she said she would do.
Hood: ...except win that Process of Elimination match...
Smith: She DID do what she said she would, though... PKA didn't win it either. AND he got his ass whupped by Monroe in the bargain. So, mission accomplished as far as she was concerned.
Hood: Hooray for lowered expectations. Then again, she's used to that...she's dating that wrestling Caillou...
Smith: Show a little more respect! Madman Szalinski is a living legend!
Hood: He still looks like freakin' Caillou...
~As the two announcers banter, Jacqui has reached ringside, and spotted a fan holding up a sign which reads 'CJ O'DONNELL – 12-2'. She stops beside the young man – whose face breaks into a huge grin – and simultaneously points at the sign and at herself, quirking her eyebrows as she states 'I DID THAT!' Then, after slapping five with the fan in question, she motions for a microphone from OCW's ring announcer, before sliding into the ring underneath the bottom rope. She takes a moment to look around at the packed arena, soaking in the atmosphere, then promptly asks~
Jacqui M: DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?!
~The OCW fans promptly respond in a more than positive manner, causing the Alpha Bitch to grin~
Jacqui M: First of all...Kenshin...last week was for you, buddy!
~Another huge cheer erupts from the crowd as they recall Monroe's upset win over the previously thought undefeatable CJ O'Donnell. Jacqui nods her approval at this, taking another moment to let the fans express themselves before continuing~
Jacqui M: That's right...last week was for Kenshin...and all the weeks to come are gonna be for him, for all you motherfuckers out there, and most of all, for everyone who tried to bring me down since I came here to OCW!
~Another raucous cheer erupts from the crowd, drawing a disgusted reaction from one half of the announce team~
Hood: Ugh! Talk about pandering!
~In the ring, Monroe once again waits for the noise to die down before proceeding~
Jacqui M: That's right...all you assholes who said I couldn't hack it no more...who said I was all hype and no action...who said I'd never make it without Kenshin...I hope you've been paying attention this past couple of weeks. I hope you've been taking notes. And I hope you realized that when the Alpha Bitch says she's gonna do something...she's gonna fucking follow through!
~Another cheer, as Jacqui nods once more~
Jacqui M: You bet your ass, motherfuckers. I ain't like the rest of these bozos. I don't sit around talking shit about people without backing up my facts. I don't stand out here and tell you I'm the best wrestler in the universe and no one can beat me. I tell you I'm gonna kick somebody's ass...and then I kick that person's ass. If you don't believe me, just ask CJ O'Donnell.
~Another huge roar erupts, but this time, Jacqui talks over it~
Jacqui M: And I ain't about to stop, neither. I know after Kenshin left, everybody was talking 'bout how I was gonna go next. 'Cause apparently just 'cause we're a team, that means me and Kenshin are attached at the hip...
~Monroe allows herself a little scoff before proceeding~
Jacqui M: Well, you know what? I thought about it. I thought about just hanging up the boots again, going back to Tokyo, and hanging with my dog. I mean, we'd sent our message and I'd gotten my revenge...might as well, right?
~Jacqui's grin suddenly devolves into a frown, complete with steely glare~
Jacqui M: WRONG, MOTHERFUCKERS!
~The crowd erupts again, as Jacqui's tone picks up in intensity once more~
Jacqui M: See, once I thought about it, I realized my work here wasn't done. That I hadn't finished what I'd actually come here to do. Sure, I'd gotten my revenge on PKA, and sure, me and Kenshin had sent our message...but what I initially came here for, what my friend had asked me to do...wasn't done yet. And I realized...
~Jacqui turns towards the hard camera~
Jacqui M: ...I realized I wasn't going anywhere.
~The crowd manifests itself once again, as the blonde continues~
Jacqui M: You heard me, motherfuckers! Jacqui Monroe ain't going anywhere! The Alpha Bitch is here to fuckin' stay!!
~The roar increases in volume as Jacqui once again turns to face the hard camera~
Jacqui M: And all you fuckers in the back...you better watch out. I'm putting you all on notice. You've seen what I can do when some asshole pisses me off. And trust me...I don't pick and choose. You get on my wrong side, you're in for an ass-whuppin'. Just as PKA. Or CJ O'Donnell.
~A cheer rises again at the mention of the most hated man in OCW, but for once, Monroe does not halt her speech to acknowledge it~
Jacqui M: And trust me...those two were just the beginning. Those two were just the first in line. Anyone else who wants to be an asshole to me is getting the same treatment. Veteran or rookie. Male or female. A hundred pounds or three hundred pounds. I don't discriminate. You're cool to me, I'm cool to you; you wanna act like an ass, you're getting your fucking ass kicked. Capeesh?
Hood: Yeah...we got it...! Geez! How many times is this bitch gonna say the same thing?
Smith: Careful, Hood...I think she can hear you from over there...
~Jacqui, however, gives no indication of having heard the announcer, instead simply turning to face the fixed camera one final time. The lens captures her glower and the dangerous smirk on her features as she concludes~
Jacqui M: And Aptitude...you're next, motherfuckers!
~With that, Jacqui drops the mic and promptly makes her way back out of the ring. More hands than ever stretch out to meet hers as she makes her way around the ringside area and up the ramp, and the blonde endeavors to slap as many as she can as she retreats towards the ramp. Once there, she holds up an arm, her fingers fashioned into the sign of the devil, as she lets out a primal scream. Only then does she make her way back through the curtain to the back, leaving a fever-pitch crowd behind her~
Smith: Now THAT's a speech! She just went Abraham Lincoln on that crowd!
Hood: Talk is cheap. And I could buy all of her talk with a nickel!
Smith: She's backed up her claims so far, though...
Hood: Ha! She's been lucky! Just wait until she runs into the rest of The Aptitude! Then we'll see how much her word is worth!
Smith: Or maybe they'll see it...
~With the second announcer having no response to this, fans at home are left to take in the rabid crowd as the show cuts elsewhere~
Smith: OCW Survivor is a great show...now that we're at the merge, who do you have?
Hood: I'm still bummed Chaotic is gone...but, there are a ton of options. I'll go with CJ O'Donnell
Smith: Ugh, gross. Given what she's gone through recently, I'd like to see Annie Alvarez prevail
Hood: Yea, that'd be okay.
Smith: Alright everybody...we've got two matches remaining and they are big ones. Up next...Levi Russow, the current Newcomver of the Month will take on Mack O'Connor. Let's head down to ringside
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~ The sound of a coin being put into a coin-operated machine, a button being pressed, and an 8-Bit explosion can be heard as we next hear the voice of the living legend Stan Lee himself say...~
~Massive pyrotechnics blast with the first hard hit of screaming guitars on "True Believers" by The Bouncing Souls hits as The Iceman Levi Russow is silhouetted sitting indian style on the stage as the fans roar their approval. He kips up to a standing position and bounces in place unzipping his hoodie as he cracks his trademark grin to the fans and nods his head in approval as the chorus arrives and he cheerleads his fans in screaming...~
~He's suddenly off like a shot towards the ring leaping up through the bottom and second rope and popping up to a turnbuckle soaking in the adulation~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…Levi Russow!!!
~”Vagabond” by The Greenskeepers hits. Mack O’Connor walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He’s carrying what appears to be two beer bottles. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business. His right hand is wrapped up~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…Mack O’Connor!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Interesting match up here, Hood. We have a former OCW Champion taking on the current Newcomer of the Month
Hood: Normally I’d say Mack’s got this…but this fucking Russow guy is legit
Smith: Everybody in OCW is legit!
Hood: Shootah
Smith: ALMOST everybody in OCW is legit!
~Mack squeezes his wrapped hand into a fist a few times. Russow notes the injury – Mack wasn’t really keeping it a secret. Mack approaches Russow with the two beers in his left hand. He extends one to Russow who looks around, confused~
Smith: Really? Pre-match drinking? C’mon, guys!
Hood: Russow better accept…it’s common guy code courtesy…you do not turn down a free drink
Smith: He may respect competition and out of that respect want to keep his body pure…
~Smith is cut off as the crowd goes wild. Russow accepts the beer…they rip the caps off and toss them out of the ring. Together, they start to chug. The corner of Russow’s eye watches Mack, who is downing the beer as though it were water at the end of a marathon. Russow tries to keep up. His eye grows wider and wider. Mack finally finishes. Russow completes his task a few seconds later. Mack seems perfectly fine. Russow leans over and opens his mouth wide, taking in some breaths~
Smith: Welcome to Mack’s world, Levi
Hood: He needs to up his chugging game!
Smith: I think he’s got more important matters at hand…most notably, winning this match
Hood: Psssh
~The crowd is on their feet, cheering the two men – one a borderline alcoholic the other, well, a unique individual. They nod their heads, feeling the energy. They’ve got a rush of excitement…the kind of rush that comes from chugging an entire bottle of beer. If you’ve done it, you know what I’m talking about. They walk around the ring, urging the crowd on~
Smith: I really fear for the future of our society
Hood: Not me…these fans have their priorities straight
Smith: Agree to disagree, I suppose
~Once they’ve finished hyping the crowd, the two men return to their corners. Russow is light on his feet, bouncing side to side, waiting for the bigger, more methodical Mack to make a move. Mack steps away from his corner and approaches Russow carefully. Russow stops bouncing around and coils…he springs forward, as does Mack…the two men lock up. The fans are buzzing, they are eager to watch this fresh, new, exciting match up~
Smith: We’ve got a lock up…who will prevail?
Hood: It’s a lock up…how could anyone possibly know at this point?
Smith: Could lead to a decision
Hood: No, it will not
~Russow is holding his ground. Mack strains, attempting to bully the rookie into a corner – he relaxes his arms for a moment before pushing forward with all his force. Levi barely shifts. Mack suddenly lifts a knee into Russow’s gut! The fans boo. Russow doubles over. Mack lets go and stands upright, his breath is labored. He looks down at Russow and shakes his head. He slams a right forearm into Russow’s back! Russow falls to the mat with his face at Mack’s feet~
Smith: I know it seems like Russow is the smaller man but he’s actually five pounds heavier than Mack!
Hood: Damn, Russow needs to get on a diet!
Smith: He looks in good shape to me. I think it’s the way Mack carries himself…he just looks like the bigger of the two
Hood: True…plus, maybe Russow drank like ten pounds of water before the match
Smith: That would be ill advised
Hood: I heard Syren did that back when he, ya know…
Smith: Yes, we know…please, we don’t need a reminder
~Mack looks down at Russow…the crowd tries to rally the rookie, hoping he can overcome a lackluster start. Mack stomps on Russow’s left hand! Russow grabs his hand in pain…Mack stomps Russow in the back of the head! This quiets Levi. He looks down at the mat with a stunned expression~
Smith: Mack might be looking to even the score
Hood: He thinks if he can kick Russow in the head it might fuck him up enough to equal Mack’s current level of inebriation?
Smith: No, I’m talking about the hand! Mack’s got a cut on his hand…so, perhaps he’s trying to bruise or break Russow’s.
Hood: How the hell did Mack cut his hand? Did he feel up one of those vaginas with teeth?
Smith: Vaginas don’t have teeth!
~Mack grabs Russow by the hair…he frowns with disgust at the shitty dye job. He shoves Russow, violently into the corner. Russow’s back slams into the top turnbuckle…the impact doles out a good bit of whiplash. Mack looks at his bandaged right hand…he places it at his side. He balls up his left fist and throws some well-placed jabs into Russow’s jaw. Booing fills the arena as Mack is picking Russow apart with his left fist~
Smith: Not his strong hand…but Mack is making due
Hood: Mack’s got a wicked left hand. He just doesn’t use it because of, well, ya know…that whole left hand thing
Smith: What left hand thing?
Hood: You know…how left handed people are weirdo perverts
Smith: They are not!
~Mack delivers the strongest left jab yet…some might call it a left HOOK. Russow’s body flails into the ropes, his arms hang over the top as he stares blankly toward the floor and barricade. The people in the front row, who must look like fuzzy orbs, are yelling for him to sharpen up. Mack grabs Russow by the hair and tosses him toward the center of the ring. Russow stumbles, falling to both knees. Mack walks up behind Russow and he aggressively backhands Russow into the side of the head, from behind with the back of his left hand! Russow falls to the mat holding his left ear…he’s positioned on his right side, almost curled up~
Smith: Mack O’Connor is dominating
Hood: Yea, I don’t think Levi Russow was ready for this
Smith: You could be right…he’s got the Process of Elimination Finals next week so he needs to put in a good showing tonight, I’d think, if he wants to have a shot.
Hood: He just needs to quit pandering to the fans. There’s only one person in OCW that gains strength from the paying idiots…and that’s the bird lady
Smith: Ah, how I enjoy Alice Knight!
~Mack pulls Russow back to his feet using his left hand. He leans in with a head butt! Russow staggers into the ropes and ricochets off…Mack grabs the rebounding Russow and hooks him for Claymore!! Russow struggles trying to get free…he manages to locate Mack’s wrapped hand. He squeezes it like an insecure male dishing out a ridiculously firm hand shake. Mack hells and shoves Russow away! He clutches his hand in pain. Russow staggers into a corner~
Smith: I understand wrapping your hand…I mean, in Mack’s case he kind of had to…but it sure does provide a target
Hood: He should wear an iron glove or whatever you call those things medieval soldiers wore
Smith: Iron glove might work
Hood: Hold on…the power of the smart phone…it’s called a GAUNTLET
Smith: Interesting
Hood: Really? I think it sounds totally gay
~Mack works his hand back and forth…no blood appears underneath the wrapping. He turns and glares at Levi. Russow is slouched in the corner appearing no better than before. Mack charges in…Russow gets his feet up and kicks Mack in the face!! Mack staggers back, shaking his bald head. Russow hops onto the second rope and leaps off with a double axe handle!! Mack falls to the mat, holding his forehead in pain. The crowd jumps to their feet with a “LEVI!” chant catching fire~
Smith: Levi faked Mack out!
Hood: I’m starting to dislike this Levi guy…first of all, Levis jeans suck
Smith: I’m a Wranglers man, myself
Hood: Holy shit…you in Wranglers? That’s some ridiculous imagery
~Levi pulls Mack to his feet and whips him into the ropes…Mack bounces off and receives a kick into the gut! Mack doubles over…Levi hits the ropes…he bounces off and runs toward Mack…he jumps over Mack and pulls him down with a Sunset Flip! Once Mack is pulled down, Levi hops to his feet and then jumps on top of Mack with a Double Foot Stomp!! He goes for a quick pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close but not quite…Levi calls that the Koopa Killer!
Hood: He probably caved in Mack’s chest. That sucks for a man who enjoys nicotine the traditional way
Smith: I still apply the patch every once awhile. Gives me a great rush
Hood: You are so lucky this isn’t 1917…you would have been killed off long ago…natural selection
Smith: That’s rude!
~Russow pops back to his feet. He crouches, poised for Mack to stand. Mack finally gets to his feet…his back is to Russow…Levi attempts a flying uppercut! Mack dodges the punch and, in the process, saves several teeth. Levi leaps into the air and drops back down with his back facing Mack. O’Connor drills Levi in the back of the head with a straight right hand!! Levi stumbles into the ropes…Mack runs in and lifts a knee into the kidney area of Levi…he tumbles through the ropes and spills onto the outside~
Smith: Russow was looking for a sort of knockout punch and, well, it backfired
Hood: Why do wrestlers want to brawl with Mack? That’s like the only thing he can do
Smith: He can do more than brawl!
Hood: Well, true, the fucker can drink
~Mack steps through the ropes and stands on the apron. Levi crawls up, using the apron for support. Mack tries to step down, but Levi grabs onto his left foot. Mack tries to shake him off, Levi won’t let go. Mack wraps his arms around the middle rope to secure his position. Levi grabs Mack’s right foot…he pulls back, trying to yank Mack off the apron. Mack’s legs kick into the air, but his arms remain wrapped around the middle rope. Levi gets to his feet, holding Mack in this ‘hammock’ like position. He wraps his arms around Mack’s waist and rips him away from the rope…He looks to powerbomb Mack into the floor…Mack sits up and rips at Levi’s face with his left, good hand. Levi lets go…Mack falls to his feet and drills Levi in the face with his left hand! Levi falters back, leaning against the ring post~
Smith: Nice sequence…Levi tried to shift the momentum back to his side but Mack wouldn’t let him
Hood: Mack’s really fucking good, you know?
Smith: Yes, I know
Hood: No, I mean, do you really know? The guy is one of the most underrated champions we’ve ever had
Smith: Yea, I can see that
Hood: But can you REALLY see it?
Smith: Shut up
~Mack doesn’t hesitate…he sees a crippling opportunity. He swings at Levi with his right hand…Levi ducks…Mack stops JUST short of slamming his injured right hand into the unforgiving, cold steel. Mack’s eyes are wide as he looks at his hand and breathes out a huge sigh. He doesn’t have very long to relax as Levi kicks Mack in the back! Mack stumbles forward and his bald head ‘pings’ against the ring post! He falls to the side, the top of his body tumbling down the stairs as he falls to the ground. The crowd around ringside give Levi a strong ovation~
Smith: And now Levi is in control…this guy is resilient, Hood. He’s talented…he’s got it all, I think!
Hood: He doesn’t have a mustache
Smith: Well, no, that’s true…he does not have a mustache
Hood: So he doesn’t have…it all
Smith: Sure
~Levi hops onto the top step. He looks down at Mack who is on his back, wincing in pain. Levi leaps off with a double foot stomp! Mack rolls out of the way and Levi’s feet slam into the floor…it jams his left knee up, slightly. He lifts it up and hobbles around as Mack fights to his feet, using the barricade for support. He charges at Levi’s back…Levi turns around and ducks a clothesline! Mack runs into the barricade, but is fine. Levi hops onto the steps…he faces Mack…Mack turns around and Russow leaps off with something…we’ll never know what…Mack catches Levi over his shoulder and tries for a spinebuster…Levi wiggles down Mack’s back and goes for a sunset flip. Mack fights out of it and tries to stomp on Levi’s face…Levi lets go and moves out of the way…he kips up…Mack charges in and takes Levi down by ramming his shoulder into the back of Levi’s left knee! Russow falls to the ground clutching his knee in pain~
Smith: Back and forth in this one…both men trying to gain an advantage
Hood: Man, knees really get in the way, don’t they?
Smith: Not any more than other appendages
Hood: How’s CJ’s knee you think? He seems to bang it up every match!
Smith: That’s because CJ wrestles with reckless intent
Hood: Ah, so THAT’s how you reach the top of the rankings page
~Mack gets to his feet and he grabs Russow’s left leg. Russow tries to pull it away but Mack’s grip is too strong. He throws a left hook into the knee! Russow yells in pain! Mack drives his knees into the back of the knee, Russow yells out in pain once more. Mack yanks back on the leg, trying to hyperextend the knee! Levi reaches for his knee in desperation…Mack grabs Levi’s left foot…one hand gripping the toe the other hand gripping the heel…he then twists to the left as hard as he can!! Levi yells in pain, clutching his knee. Mack has let go and is standing against the apron, looking down at Levi. Russow is curled up against the barricade holding his left knee~
Smith: Joint decimation…manipulation…no way Russow can compete if that knee is damaged
Hood: Fucking Mack is smart, man…he injures Levi tonight…not only does he win this match…but he doesn’t have to worry about Levi next week
Smith: That is true…Levi is set to compete against Mack next week in the Process of Elimination finals….great catch, Hood!
Hood: I may not be Matt Meyhu but I do snag a solid catch every once in awhile
Smith: Nobody is Matt Meyhu
~Mack snares Levi by his hair and forces him to his feet…Levi is standing on one leg, his right leg. Mack tosses Russow recklessly into the ring…Levi rolls in under the bottom rope and stands…he continues to apply all the weight onto his right leg. Mack climbs onto the apron and steps in through the ropes. Levi faces Mack hopping gingerly on one leg…you can see Russow doing the math in his head. He’s trying to think of something…but he’s stuck. With only one leg to stand on his arsenal is severely limited. Mack reaches for Levi’s left leg…he stumbles away, trying to protect his injury. Mack, however, with two good legs is too quick and too fast…he finally snares Levi’s left leg and holds it, under his arm. Levi hops around almost begging Mack to leave the knee alone~
Smith: What is this man going to do?
Hood: Hurt the knee, would be my guess
Smith: I’m starting to think Mack really was offended by Levi no-showing their match nearly three years ago…look at how vicious he is tonight
Hood: Mack’s always like this…he leveled PEACHES for heaven’s sake…although it’s not like that bitch didn’t have it coming
Smith: Peaches is a fine young woman…just slightly overeager with a hint of desperation…nothing worth receiving any physical harm
Hood: Easy to say when you’re NOT being stalked by PEACHES
~Mack drills Levi in the knee with his left hand. He repeats the act again and again…each punch coming faster and faster. Levi is helpless, hopping around…finally, Mack stops. Levi’s face is twisted with pain. Mack takes Levi down suddenly with a Dragon Screw!! Levi yells in tremendous pain, clutching his knee. Mack sits up and displays a sneaky grin~
Smith: See? I told you! Mack CAN wrestle…when he wants to
Hood: Are we sure he didn’t just fall down. You know Mack is ALWAYS a little drunk, maybe he lost his balance and accidentally twisted Levi’s knee on the way to the mat
Smith: No Hood, that was a textbook dragon screw
Hood: What’s with that name, anyway…is that really how dragon’s screw…just twisting around? That doesn’t seem like much fun or all that comfortable, to be honest
Smith: I have no idea
~Mack stands and goes after Levi’s legs…Russow crawls with his arms, dragging his left leg along the mat…he reaches for the ropes…Mack grabs his legs and pulls him back into the center of the ring. He lifts the legs up and looks to apply a figure four. Russow waves his hands around, trying to do whatever he can to prevent Mack from succeeding. Mack slaps Russow in the face with his right hand. He does it again, mocking Levi. Mack goes for a third slap…Russow grabs Mack’s right hand and bites it!! Mack lets go of Levi’s legs and rips his hand away, falling backward, into the nearest corner…the crowd goes wild~
Smith: Levi Russow doing what he must!
Hood: Guy is a fucking animal
Smith: It’s not JUST the match, Hood. If that knee sustains too much damage, Levi could be looking at months on the shelf.
Hood: I wonder if he got a buzz off of Mack’s blood…that’s if any blood got into his mouth
Smith: Well, it certainly appears the bite reopened Mack’s wound
~Mack looks down at his hand, the bandaging is changing from white to red at a slow, consistent pace. He balls his right fist and winces…blood oozes from within his fist, dripping like a leaky faucet to the mat. He shoves the pain aside and marches toward Levi. Levi is on his feet, bent over. He’s rubbing his left knee, trying to numb it. Mack approaches and reaches out…Levi suddenly leaps into the air, off his right leg with a giant uppercut! He yells SHORYUKEN!! His fist BASHES O’Connor in the face!! Mack flies back into the corner, slamming with tremendous force! Levi returns to the mat landing, instinctively on both legs…his left knee buckles…he falls to the mat, landing on his ass. He reaches for his left knee. The crowd, meanwhile, is yelling “FINISH HIM!”~
Smith: A blood thirsty crowd!
Hood: I think they’ve got their games mixed up
Smith: Oh really?
Hood: Mmmhmmm Levi was emulating Street Fighter…the game pussies with overprotective parents played.
Smith: I loved street fighter!
Hood: Yep, you would
Smith: Chun Li and those chops…she was actually kind of attractive, ya know…in that
Hood: Please, stop talking!
~Russow fights to his feet…he stands and walks around…he limps on the left leg…but the adrenaline is coursing through his veins. He’s blocking it out. Mack emerges from the corner, dazed. Thankfully, his teeth appear to be in tact. Blood continues to drip from his hand. Russow spots Mack and he throws a punch…Mack blocks it! Mack throws a short arm clothesline…Levi ducks and shoves Mack in the back…Mack fires into the ropes, he bounces off and is met with a ROARING elbow from Levi!!! Mack staggers into the ropes…Levi rolls forward and jumps up with a Kesagiri Chop from HELL! Mack catches Levi!! Mack drills Levi into the canvas with Claymore!!! The crowd pops for the move moreso than the man. Mack covers Levi as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: Mack O’Connor caught Levi Russow before he could fully finish him off with…umm, well
Hood: I’ll say it…BITCHSLAP!
Smith: Right, yea, that…wow, what a match
Hood: Mack is on a roll, man. Guy might be the best wrestler in OCW right now
Smith: Indeed and Levi, even in defeat, showed that he’s going to be a force in OCW for a long time to come
Hood: Fuck yea…plus, he can pay Mack back next week
Smith: That is very true, they will meet again in the Process of Elimination finals. Now these two men need to heal. Levi needs to rest that knee and Mack needs to work on that hand.
Hood: Process of Elimination finals? Nah, man…I was saying Levi could pay Mack back by bringing HIM a beer…I mean, it’s guy code
Smith: I think we’re good with pre match drinking
Hood: Oh no we are not. Levi OWES Mack a beverage. I’m guessing he’ll bring something lame, like a Bud Light. Mack no doubt went for some type of craft beer.
Smith: I wouldn’t have any clue on any of that. All I know is Budweiser is associated with those majestic creatures known as Clydesdales
Hood: Wow…are we sure you’re a naturally born man. You’re not one of those transformers, are you…like Jenner?
Smith: That’s enough of that offensive, ignorant talk!
~We turn toward the ring. Levi has left. Mack remains in the center, looking at his hand. A voice is suddenly heard in the arena~
Voice: Mack…
~The voice is somewhat muffled, but sounds vaguely familiar~
Voice: Mack O’Connor
~Mack looks to the entrance ramp, and sees a familiar… mask. It's the masked figure wearing the confederate shirt that cost him the Savage championship. Mack gives the masked man his best “if looks could kill” look~
Masked Man: I see you remember me, that's good. Because I'm not finished with you.
~Mack, still shooting daggers at the masked man, changes his facial expression the slightest amount. Still trying to kill the masked man with his gaze but also shows the slightest bit of curiosity~
Masked Man: You already know that I took the Savage championship away from you against Matt Meyhu. At Stainless Steel Ride, I'm going to take the Paradigm championship away from you too.
~The fans in attendance are chattering wondering what this mystery man has against Mack O’Connor~
Masked Man: I see that you're all too simple to figure it out, allow me to show you what I mean.
~The man removes the mask to reveal the face of…. Bradley Carrington!! Bradley drops the microphone and smiles, Mack looks even angrier than he did when Bradley first appeared~
Smith: It was Bradley Carrington? We all thought it might have been Vargas!
Hood: No, I think we all forgot
Smith: I didn’t and I can tell you Mack sure as hell didn’t either! Look at him, he’s going to kill Carrington…I’m not sure The Professor thought this through
Hood: I wouldn’t be so sure about that
~Mack starts to make his way toward the ropes nearest the ramp. Carrington arrogantly walks down the ramp, ripping the confederate shirt away. He tosses it down in disgust. Mack stops at the ropes. Carrington urges him to come forward. Mack’s too smart…he knows this trick. Suddenly, CJ slides into the ring. Mack turns around and begins to brawl with O’Donnell!! Carrington rushes into the ring and jumps Mack from behind. Mack elbows Carrington in the face and then drops CJ with a clothesline. The crowd is cheering Mack on~
Smith: Mack may be outnumbered but he’s holding his own!
Hood: C’mon guys, beat him down. Kick his ass, seabass!
Smith: Who is Seabass, is that a new signing?
Hood: He’s too much of a legend to compete in pro wrestling. He likes to hang around bathroom stalls where he gives men something they’ll never forget.
Smith: Ohhhh, sounds interesting. I’d like to meet him
Hood: I’m sure you would
~Meyhu and TIO rush to the ring. For the moment they seem to be working for the same cause. The fans give a mixed reaction. Mack turns and spots the final two members of Aptitude. He flies out of the ring as they slide in under the bottom rope. He heads up the ramp checking his hand and face for injuries. CJ pops back to his feet, as does Carrington. The four members of Aptitude are ravenous…they yell at Mack to return. He points at Carrington, keeping his gaze strictly on his opponent for Stainless Steel Ride. Mack then makes it up the ramp and exits through the curtain…his arm sticks out for a moment with the middle finger pointed at Carrington. Bradley shakes his head with anger~
Smith: Mack O’Connor a fighter through and through used his brain tonight. There was no way he was going to prevail against those odds
Hood: He’ll get his…Mack is due an Aptitude ass kicking
Smith: That remains to be seen
~CJ and Carrington stand in between TIO and Meyhu. They may be out there, but they aren’t looking at one another…they aren’t speaking to each other….it’s abundantly clear there is continued friction between the ‘brothers’. Suddenly, the lights go out~
Smith: What’s going on? I can’t see!
Hood: I don’t know, but this music isn’t helping the creep factor…what the…what are you doing? Get off me!
Smith: Sorry…I tend to get a little nervous in the dark
Hood: Idiot
~The epic music continues playing with the lights still out. The tron lights up with the words “WE ARE LEGION”~
Smith: We are Legion?
Hood: Is this that hooded figure?
Smith: That’s an excellent question!
~Lights turn back on and the ring is surrounded by ten people in dark black hooded sweatshirts, all holding various weapons but not moving~
Smith: Look! Inside the ring…The aptitude is surrounded…how many hooded figures are there?
Hood: Oh shit…they are fucked!
Smith: If they get attacked this could RUIN Stainless Steel Ride!
Hood: No shit, like half the show is built around these guys
~ The screen then changes to show the words “ALL WILL BE REVEALED AT STAINLESS STEEL RIDE.” The Lights go out again. They come back on in a few moments and all figures are gone from ring side. Question mark masks then fall from the ceiling, blanketing the confused in the ring. Carrington looks up at the masks, a few hit him in the face. They don’t hurt. Meyhu picks up a mask and crumples it in his giant hand. TIO shakes his head and exits the ring, alone. CJ kicks all the masks out of the ring in anger~
Smith: The Hooded Figure will be revealed at Stainless Steel Ride!
Hood: Man, what a mind fuck. These guys have to compete inside a fucking prison for OCW championships and against OCW legends with THIS guy’s eventual reveal hanging over their heads. Why are we doing this to the Aptitude? It isn’t fair!
Smith: OCW has been more than fair toward The Aptitude since they joined…it can’t all be sunshine and butterflies
Hood: Good because that sounds like a terrible life. I hate butterflies…you rip their wings off and they’re just some weird little bug
Smith: And look at TIO…he isn’t sticking around…he seems to be separating himself further and further from his group
Hood: Dude’s got a lot on his mind…the OCW Title is his most coveted possession…the icing on top of a great career. He’s got to get through Meyhu to attain it.
Smith: Indeed…wow, what a scene. We need to get these masks cleared away and these Aptitude guys backstage so we can get to our main event. The Hooded Figure…any guesses, Hood?
Hood: I don’t know, but he’s got a badass name. HOODed Figure. So he’s got to be legit
Smith: We all have our reasons for liking and disliking people, I suppose. I have a guess but I’m going to keep quiet until the figure is revealed.
Hood: Fucking cheater…that’s not fair
Smith: This is my life and I’ll live it the way I want
Hood: You have made that abundantly clear throughout the years
Smith: Well, folks…we’ve got one match remaining…we’re getting things re-organized out here so, while we wait, take a look at a video for the exciting return of a unique OCW star
~The screen fades to black as the words [Like It Never Happened] is shown while "Respectful" plays. Chaotic with a black appears in a chair with Juliet Kelly on his lap. His head is down as he speaks in a low moaning voice~
Chaotic: When you're robbed, you are left helpless and powerless. I hate being powerless. I was robbed by the Paradigm tribe. They stole everything from me. I was supposed to win Survivor. Now they are in the merge and my appearance on OCW is treated like it never happened. The problem is that it did happen. Chaotic did appear on OCW....
~He was a good kid now wasn't he. Real sweet. That was the past. The future lurks in the bushes like a Black Mamba. So the past will fade to black. Only the future will remain. Only the future is the true Survivor. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I'm not sure I entirely understand the things Chaotic says or does...but you can't argue with the entertainment factor
Hood: I'm fucking stoked...wrestling NEEDS people like Chaotic. He's the man
Smith: It will be interesting to see if he inserts himself into a match at Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: Oh Shit would be a good spot...likely the only spot left to fill
Smith: Indeed! Well, folks...it's time for our main event...the final Process of Elimination Qualifier...the winner will go on to the Process of Elimination finals next week. So, let's head down to ringside for what should be an excellent match!
Process of Elimination #6
Madyson Carter/Liam Lee Zua/Lukas Emery vs. Assassin/PerZag/Tyler Michelson
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our main event of the evening!! This is the sixth and FINAL preliminary Process of Elimination Match. The winner of this match will go on to compete next week in the Process of Elimination Finals!
~”At My Best” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Hailee Steinfeld begins to play…the crowd rises and gives a strong ovation for Madyson Carter. She rushes down to ringside, eager to compete. She slides in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet…she smiles at the crowd, appreciating their support. She quickly turns her focus back to the task at hand…standing in a corner, ready for combat~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Miami, Florida…standing five feet tall and weighing in at 105lbs…Madyson Carter!!!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
~”Back from the Dead” by Skillet starts playing through the speakers as the lights dim down and a dark green spot light shines on the entrance. Liam walks out with the hood of his jacket up and as the lyrics for the song start he turns his back to the crowd and raises his left fist in the air throwing up devil horns just as the first verse of the song starts~
Cold and black inside this coffin
~He spins around a wicked smile on his face as he walks down to the ring focused like a laser~
Belvedere: Coming to the ring weighing in at a 160 pounds, hailing from Miami, Fl The man known as Death from Above Liam Zua!!!
~There is a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd as Liam slides under the bottom rope and throwing back his hood he climbs the turnbuckle and raises his left fist in the air once more before he backflips into the ring and then removes his jacket while he waits for the match to start~
Smith: We’ve heard a lot about Liam Zua since his on air debut last week. The fact he’s been placed into the main event, in his debut tells me all I need to know about what OCW management thinks about his potential
Hood: Another Levi Russow?
Smith: Could be
~ The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as “Bartholomew” by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system.) “Oh my God, please help me. Knee deep in the river trying to get clean. He says wash your hands, get out the stains. But ya best believe boy there’s hell to pay. Yeah ya best believe boy there’s hell to payyy!” (The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates an are of the stage, and Lukas Emery slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans.) Announcer: Now making his way to the ring, from Cardiff, Wales, now residing in London, England, Lukas Emery! (The spotlight follows as Emery continues to make his way to the ring, bouncing and singing to the music a little bit. He makes his way to ringside and takes the steps up to the ring before stepping in. Once in the ring, he slowly turns around, looking at his surroundings~
Belvedere: And their partner, from London, England…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…Lukas Emery!!!
~The arena lights go out for a moment as we hear a girl's voice scream out “I Hate Everybody” as the opening of “Walking on Bodies” echoes over the PA. After a moment we see Assassin come through the curtain to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Assassin stops midway down the ramp as he cracks a smile looking out at the booing crowd. Assassin continues down the ramp as he reaches the bottom looking at the ring for a brief moment as he looks at the crowd once more before climbing onto the apron and through the ropes. Once in the ring Assassin fakes going towards a corner and instead stands in the middle of the ring turning to his side as he points out towards the crowd and laughs~
Belvedere: And their opponents…first, from Las Vegas, Nevada…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 280lbs…Assassin!!!
~ Money hits the loud speakers and Tyler saunters out from the back and arrogantly shouts at the crowd. He makes his way to the ring taking his time pointing to himself arrogantly.. He climbs into the ring with an air of contempt and arrogance~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Los Angeles, California…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 236lbs…Tyler Michelson!!!
~ The lights of the arena go out. All that is seen is a small glow of light from the entrance ramp. ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ by Survivor starts to play over the PA system. A hooded figure walks on to the entrance ramp. The lights come back on as the hooded figure stands still on the stage. The hooded figure walks down to the ring slowly. He gets into the ring and stands in the centre of it. He slowly removes the hood and the crowd gives a mixed reaction to him. 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor stops playing as PerZag walks over to a corner in the ring and crouches down near it~
Belvedere: And their partner, from Benalla, Victoria, Australia…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 216lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…PerZag!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: This is probably the most interesting Process of Elimination match to date…look at all the new talent
Hood: All I see is PerZag
Smith: You might want to extend that purview just a bit, Hood. Every participant in this match has talent, not just the former OCW Champion
Hood: Again, all I see is PerZag
Smith: Well, perhaps a few of the other participants open your eyes by night’s end
~Assassin looks ready…he makes the argument to start things for his team. Zag and Michelson don’t have much of a problem with his proposition. The opposing team sees Assassin starting and makes the decision for Emery to start for their team~
Smith: Strategy already on display…Assassin is a large man. So, the opposing team sends their largest competitor out there.
Hood: My dick is larger than Carter
Smith: Thanks for that
Hood: And, fuck, Zua isn’t much bigger
Smith: They aren’t the biggest team in the world but that doesn’t mean they can’t win
~Emery charges at Assassin…they lock up aggressively. Assassin backs into the ropes due to Emery’s momentum. Scruff comes in, looking for a break. Emery breaks and then delivers a knife edged chop that echoes throughout the arena! Assassin leans over, gasping in pain. Emery straightens him up and delivers ANOTHER knife edged chop…louder than the first. Assassin leans over again, gasping in pain. Emery straightens Assassin up one more time…he puts his index finger to his lips, quieting the audience…he then delivers the third and loudest knife edged chop yet!! The crowd gives a strong ovation…Assassin staggers toward the center of the ring, holding his chest in pain~
Smith: Vicious assault by Lukas Emery…he was ready for this one!
Hood: How does a guy named Assassin ALWAYS get beat up? You’d think he’d be sneakier
Smith: Well, I assume there are good assassins and bad assassins…just like how there are good plumbers and bad plumbers
Hood: Yea, but if you’re a bad plumber…shit just kinda hits the fan. If you’re a bad assassin, you die
Smith: True
~Emery grabs Assassin by his hair and drags him into his team’s corner. He shoves him into the buckles, back first. He knees Assassin in the gut, temporarily paralyzing the big man. He tags Madyson Carter into the match! The crowd gives a strong ovation. Madyson whips Assassin out of the corner…he sprints across the ring and SLAMS into the opposite corner. Madyson runs toward Assassin…she does a cartwheel into a back elbow! It slams into Assassin’s face. PerZag shakes his head, he slaps Assassin on the shoulder, tagging in~
Smith: Uh oh, the former OCW Champion has seen enough
Hood: Finally! Waste that bitch, Zag!
Smith: That’s a little harsh
Hood: Sorry, I just had to endure an Alice Knight victory…my opinion of women right now is lower than usual
~Zag grabs Carter by the hair. Her attention was on Assassin, having missed the tag. Zag drags her out of the corner and into the middle of the ring. He hooks her for an inverted DDT. She kicks up and flips over, finding herself draped over Zag’s shoulder. She tries wiggling…Zag holds on, he regains the upper hand looking for a powerslam. Carter fights out of it…she hooks her arm around Zag’s head and is able to wiggle to her feet with Zag’s head locked in…she then drops him to the mat with her own Inverted DDT!! Zag hits hard and grabs his neck in pain as the crowd gives Carter a strong ovation~
Smith: Wow…the OCW rookie just outmaneuvered the former champion!
Hood: Well, to be fair, PerZag has been in Australia for awhile
Smith: So?
Hood: Don’t the toilets like flush the other way down there?
Smith: I don’t know…and, even if they did, how would that impact his performance?
Hood: Maybe he’s looking at things backwards over here…
Smith: Yea, that doesn’t make any sense
~Carter pops back to her feet and runs toward the ropes…she hops onto the middle rope and leaps off with a springboard moonsault!! She executes it perfectly, landing on top of Zag. She covers the former champion. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Madyson Carter almost pinned the former OCW Champion
Hood: Some could argue he’s the CURRENT OCW Champion
Smith: I guess a weak argument could be made
Hood: Nobody beat him for it
Smith: That is true…but, he did decide to vacate the championship which means he is no longer worthy of the title
~Carter returns to her feet. She hurries over to the corner and tags an anxious Zua. Zua hops in over the top rope. Carter pulls Zag to his feet and pulls his arms back, restraining him. Zua throws a few kicks into Zag’s rib cage. Zag leans forward, his blonde hair cover his face. Zua throws a roundhouse kick that smacks Zag across the face! Carter lets go and Zag hits the mat. Zua stands tall, looking down at the OCW star~
Smith: And we are getting our first look at Liam Zua…he seems talented
Hood: He kicked the shit out of PerZag
Smith: Indeed…but, can he capitalize?
Hood: Well, if you gave the fucking guy an opportunity…
Smith: Alright, alright, I hear you…I’ll watch
~Zag reaches his feet…he staggers around. Zua throws a punch…Zag blocks it and shoves Zua back. Zua charges in with a flying knee, Zag ducks! Zua lands on the mat…he keeps running toward the corner. Zag turns around…Zua runs up the corner and performs a backflip…Zag stands, watching…Zua comes down and crushes Zag in the head with a Pele Kick!! Zag collapses to the mat…Zua goes for the cover, the crowd stands, anxious to see if the rookie can pull it off~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd seems to be in shock~
Smith: Liam Zua just pinned PerZag…the rookie has pinned the former OCW Champion
Hood: Holy shit…what the hell did he just kick him with? Well, ya know, aside from his leg
Smith: He calls that Zombie Killer!
Hood: Fuckin brutal
Belvedere: Here are your winners of the first portion…MADYSON CARTER, LIAM LEE ZUA, AND LUKAS EMERY!!!!!
Smith: Well PerZag, the clear favorite has been eliminated. Now it’s down to three, well, rookies
Hood: I’m going with Zua…any guy who pins PerZag is legit, in my opinion
Smith: Strong pick…but Emery and Carter aren’t slouches…they have shown they are here to compete at a high level…this should be very interesting
Hood: Yea so quit your fuckin yapping and let’s get to it!
~PerZag is out of the ring, he’s being helped to the back. Assassin and Michelson are gone. We’re down to the second and final phase. The bell rings. Zua is on his feet, looking fresh. Carter enters with a smile on her face, excited. Emery steps in last with a great amount of focus in his eyes. The crowd is on their feet, anxious to see which of the newcomers emerges~
Smith: This is one thing you have to love about OCW…always a host of fresh talent hungry to succeed
Hood: Yep, you won’t get the same old tired acts holding newcomers down week in and week out...if you’re talented, you will get a shot
Smith: Indeed and tonight one of these three newcomers will have an opportunity to win the Process of Elimination finals next week…an honor that should give the winner a leg up in the Jimmy Buffet Margarita Mix
Hood: I could really go for a Margarita right about now
Smith: Margarita man?
Hood: Fuck no…what are you trying to say? You trying to get me deported? I prefer beer and whiskey…MAN DRINKS. But you said Margarita and, well, that’s where my mind went
Smith: Wow, that was pretty defensive
~Zua and Carter look at one another. Emery braces…they both charge at him. Emery backs into a corner, putting his hands up. Carter and Zua fire kicks away into Emery’s midsection. He moves his hands down…Carter and Zua respond by drilling him with punches and forearms. Emery is unable to protect himself. He finally weakens…his legs wobbly. Zua delivers a stiff right hand…Emery staggers out of the corner and Carter wraps her arms around him…she the lifts Emery up and drops him into the mat with a Belly to Belly Suplex~
Smith: Excellent teamwork by Zua and Carter…I’ve heard they are an item
Hood: What, like they can be bought on Ebay? Are they sex slaves? Is there a two for one discount?
Smith: NO! I meant that they are dating
Hood: Really? Well that’s hardly fucking fair. WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Carter returns to her feet and heads for the nearest corner. Zua places a couple of kicks into Emery’s chest. Carter reaches the top…she leaps off with a splash onto Emery. She remains on top of Lukas for the pin. Scruff makes the count as Zua looks down~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Interesting…Zua didn’t try to stop her but he didn’t look thrilled
Hood: See, this is why people who are fucking shouldn’t work together
Smith: Zua wants to win this…Carter wants to win this…it will be interesting to see if the current narrative continues or if they come to some type of understanding
Hood: Maybe they already have…maybe Zua is one of those pussies who allows women to walk all over him
Smith: I doubt that!
~Carter is on her knees, looking down at Emery. Her eyes seem to indicate that she knows he’ll be a tough out. Zua reaches down and grabs Emery by the hair…he yanks Lukas to his feet and whips him into the corner. Emery hits hard. Zua charges in and leaps into the air with a flying forearm…Lukas ducks! Zua slams into the top buckle…he falls down, on his back. Emery staggers near the middle of the ring…before he can do anything he’s met with a superkick from Carter!! He falls straight to the mat~
Smith: A SLIGHT break for Lukas only to be covered up quickly by Madyson
Hood: They might become the most powerful couple in OCW!
Smith: Careful, Hood…there was some controversy over that earlier in the week
Hood: Well, I mean, the most powerful couple OUTSIDE of Timmy and Tony Webb
Smith: Right
~Carter checks on Zua…he’s alright, just a little stunned. Zua returns to his feet. Carter goes back after Emery…he’s on all fours, trying to regain his footing. Carter kicks Emery in the ribs…Emery flips onto his back. Carter drops a leg across his chest. Zua enters the picture. He yanks Lukas to his feet and whips him into the ropes…Lukas bounces off and Zua drills him in the gut with a mule kick! Carter follows up with a front kick into Emery’s face!! He hits the mat, holding his face in pain~
Smith: I just can’t see any way Lukas overcomes the disadvantage…it’s really unfortunate
Hood: Yea, well don’t blame Carter and Zua…anybody in their position would do the same
Smith: Indeed BUT only one of them can win…so ultimately they are going to have to make a decision
Hood: I think it’s pretty obvious…Zua is going to lay down for Carter
Smith: I wouldn’t assume that, Hood
~Carter and Zua go over strategy. Zua nods…Carter pulls Emery to his feet. She steps back…Emery staggers around. Zua runs for the corner…he climbs the ropes and leaps off with Zombie Killer!! Emery steps up and CATCHES Zua over his shoulder!! Zua kicks his legs…he inadvertently kicks Carter in the head, she falls to the mat. Emery runs toward the ropes and he tosses Zua off his shoulder like a spear, over the top rope!! Zua flies through the air and lands chest first on top of the barricade!! The barricade nearly collapses, bending in, toward the crowd. The fans go wild, chanting ‘HOLY SHIT!’ Lukas falls to his knees, breathing heavily~
Smith: Lukas has a shot…Zua is most likely out of this match…I can’t see him getting up from that…so now it’s one on one!
Hood: Or half on half
Smith: Huh?
Hood: Emery is pretty beat up…so he’s like half a man and, well, Carter is like half a person so…half vs half
Smith: Way to really sell the match, Hood
Hood: I’m sure we have a pretty strong midget following
~Carter recovers…she realizes what’s happened and is more than a little upset. Lukas is working his way up…he’s using the ropes for balance. Carter charges in, looking to clothesline Lukas over the top rope…Lukas ducks and lifts Carter over the top rope…she lands on the apron! Lukas turns around and Carter rams her shoulder into his gut. He doubles over…she jumps over the top rope with a sunset flip…Emery holds onto the top rope to keep from behind over. He then sits out, trying to squash Carter…Carter moves and Emery’s ass lands hard on the mat~
Smith: Carter is very quick…she avoided disaster a couple of times in that sequence
Hood: I’d fuckin hope she’s quick…she’s like three feet tall
Smith: She’s taller than that!
Hood: You know she’s never ridden a roller coaster
Smith: Nothing wrong with that, a lot of people are afraid of thrill rides
Hood: Oh no, it’s not that…she’s just too short to ride
Smith: Whatever!
~Carter returns to her feet. Emery does the same…his back is to Carter…she leaps into the air and hooks her feet around Emery’s head…she then flips him over with an inverted frankensteiner!!! Emery’s head spikes onto the mat!! He falls on his front, motionless. Carter sits up and crawls over…the crowd is going wild. She rolls Emery over and goes for the cover~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!
Smith: Emery survives! I can’t believe it!
Hood: Damn that bitch has some strong legs
Smith: Who? Emery?
Hood: No, Carter…I said bitch, didn’t I?
Smith: Oh, right…how dare I forget your deplorable attitude toward women
~Carter appears frustrated. She’s not complaining…just disappointed she didn’t pick up the huge win. On the outside, we see Zua on his back, grimacing in pain. Carter returns to her feet. She pulls Lukas to his feet and shoves him into a corner. She knees him in the stomach a few times. She hooks his head and pulls him out of the corner…she climbs the ropes and goes for a Tornado DDT…but Lukas tosses her off…she flies into the air and lands on her hands and knees…it’s an awkward landing, so she remains down for a moment. Meanwhile, we see Zua poke his head over the apron~
Smith: Madyson was looking to inflict more damage on Emery’s head and neck…a smart move, but it didn’t work out
Hood: He threw her like ten feet in the air…that bitch has nine lives!
Smith: Would you stop calling her that!
Hood: I don’t know, maybe I will…maybe I won’t.
~Emery walks over to Carter…she springs to her feet and hits Emery with a forearm shot. She whips Emery into the ropes and follows him immediately. Zua is standing on the apron…Emery stops short of hitting Zua and jumps into the air…Carter runs underneath his legs and rams into Zua! Zua falls to the floor…dazed, Carter turns around. Emery knees her into the gut and grabs her head…he then drops her with Light of Emery!!! He goes for the pin as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the final participant in the Process of Elimination finals…LUKAS EMERY!!!!!
Smith: Wow! Great win for Lukas…he had some rough odds to contend with but he pulled it off
Hood: He cheated! Fucking guy THREW Carter into her boyfriend or lover or whatever…that’s just mean, man
Smith: All he did was avoid contact…I see nothing wrong with it
Hood: You and those Emery colored glasses
Smith: I’m not sure what that means, but okay
Hood: So, who we got for next week? Syren, PerZag, Bifford, Paras, Maurako and Lurrr?
Smith: Uhh, no…Emery Lukas, Levi Russow, CJ O’Donnell, The Incredible One, Mack O’Connor and…
Hood: Jin Royale!
Smith: NO! Iggy Hardy
Hood: Ohhh, cool…sounds like a badass match
Smith: Indeed! And the winner will draft the two divisions for the Margarita Mix!
Hood: Stop making me thirsty!
Smith: Well everyone it’s been a great night of action and intrigue. Emery Lukas continues to show that OCW’s youth is alive and well…what a great roster of talent we have! Before we sign off, I’m told we have a special announcement from our General Manager Marcus Welsh to close the show. So, for Hood, I’m Smith saying see you all next week as we present the go home show for Stainless Steel Ride!
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
B-b-b-b-b-back-back-back
'Cause you all try to keep me down
How it feels to be forgotten
But you'll never forget me now
~We cut to a dark room. The silhouette of a man against a window with moonlight fighting through is all we can make out. A bright, orange circle lights up near his head, it’s the burning end of a cigar. As it lights up we see the face of Marcus Welsh. He reaches over and flips on a nearby light, providing enough illumination to the room to conduct a proper interview. Welsh places the cigar on the edge of a glass tray. He uncrosses his legs and stand. We hear a motor behind our view…it belongs to the camera. The camera seems to be motion censored…it follows Welsh as he grabs a sheet of paper. From a table…it’s still pretty dark, impossible to make anything out other than nameless furniture items and standard, wood floors. The architectural design is impossible to discern~
Marcus Welsh: Sorry for the dim setting. I didn’t have time to make it back to my office so we’re doing this live from my hideout in Key West. Nobody knows the location and I’d like to keep it that way.
~Welsh clears his throat as his eyes follow the bold print embedded on the otherwise unimportant white sheet of paper~
Marcus Welsh: As you all are aware…Stainless Steel Ride
~It seems like Welsh has to keep from gagging while saying the name. He shudders, slightly before continuing~
Marcus Welsh: The main event for our big event on June 19th will be headlined by The Incredible One and Matt Meyhu in an Escape the Prison Match. Rules are pretty simple…first man to escape the prison wins. There are no rules outside of that singular one.
~Welsh picks up a pin and crosses off what he just read~
Marcus Welsh: Iggy Hardy will face Rebel in a potential OCW Savage Championship Match…Mack O’Connor and Bradley Carrington will also square off in a potential OCW Paradigm Championship Match. The Savage Championship match will be, fittingly, an Imprisonment Match. It’s basically a prison brawl…in order to win you must lock your opponent inside a prison cell. As for the Paradigm Championship…that will be a Checklist Match. Each wrestler will furnish OCW with a list of ten moves…in order to win, you must complete that list. In an added twist…next week on Massacre O’Connor and Carrington will square off, in the ring. They will provide a list of moves for their opponents. So, in layman’s terms…Carrington will pick Mack’s moves and Mack will pick Carrington’s moves.
~Welsh scratches out two more items~
Marcus Welsh: We are already aware of the Brooks and Vargas stipulation. The OCW Tag Team Championships will be decided in a match between the current champs, The Aptitude…who will be represented by Meyhu and The Incredible One…their opponents, the returning Perfectly Marvelous! They will compete in a Prison Cell match…this is identical to the Penalty Box match. There will be a prison cell at ringside…if a person is placed inside the cell, they must remain there for two minutes before being released. This match is also no DQ.
~Welsh scratches two more off the list. He sighs, it’s a long list~
Marcus Welsh: We are still awaiting confirmation on CJ O’Donnell’s opponent. We are hoping to receive that next week. Now, onto Alice Knight and Bob Grenier…Alice Knight suggested a unique match and, well, we accepted. It will be a Bird Cage Match! This will be very similar to a Steel Cage Match…only, instead of a regular steel cage, they will compete inside a giant bird cage. In order to win, a person must fully escape the cage or pin their opponent. No submissions.
~Welsh scratches two more off. He waves his arm around, tired of holding the paper, the pen and, well, just standing in general~
Marcus Welsh: The Oh Shit Match will be an In and Out Lumberjack Match! Two competitors will start the match...the rest of the competitors will stand outside the ring as lumberjacks. Once a person is pinned or submitted…they will become a lumberjack…and, in their place, an original lumberjack will enter into the ring, becoming an official competitor. Once a competitor becomes a lumberjack, they are eliminated from the match. This will go on until every competitor has been pinned or submitted…minus one…the winner. I hope that makes sense, if not, oh well.
~Welsh smiles, getting to the biggest news of the segment~
Marcus Welsh: And the OCW Ascension Match. Damian K’ will defend against…Robbie Rayder!! It will be a Retrieve the Belt Match…at the start of the match, the OCW Ascension Title will be tossed into the crowd…the crowd will be comprised of prisoners. In order to win, you must find the title and bring it back into the ring.
~Welsh nods with satisfaction. He places the paper down and reclaims his seat. He turns off the light, returning to the darkness we originally found him enjoying~
Marcus Welsh: And that, everybody is how you make lemonade.
~Welsh picks up a remote and points it at the camera. He does a demonstrative click. Nothing happens. He gets frustrated~
Marcus Welsh: Stupid things never work the way they are supposed to.
~He messes around with it a bit. We hear a lock turn. Welsh is too distracted to notice. Suddenly, a large block of light slides across the room, blinding Welsh. He drops the remote and lifts his hand up, shielding his enlarged pupils~
Marcus Welsh: What the…who’s there? Annie?
~It isn’t Annie. A giant shadow rushes forward. Welsh removes his hand enough to see what we see. His eyes bulge, he tries to get out of the chair, but is speared by PLETHORA. They fall atop the remote…it turns the camera off. We fade to black~