OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, May 29th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
Bob: Tonight, Tonight, What a wonderful night! Tonight, We expose Alice Knight. I have proof of her fraudulent ways. That proof will be on display in just a little while. Get your tickets for the show, Or get your teeth kicked in later! So Jack, What do you have in store for us?
Jack Lockwood: Well, What better way to make an impact than to make em' say.. Oh Shit!!
~Tom, Jack and Bob all walk off screen. Who're takes the shirt off of her head and throws it on the ground~
Who're: Well it's official. At Stainless Steel Ride, Jack Lockwood will enter the Oh Shit! Contract match!
~We cut to the inside of the OCW Arena as the fans are going wild. We don’t spend much time surveying the signs. Most of them are patriotic due to the US holiday. We land on Smith and Hood~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! We hope you all enjoyed a nice, long, relaxing holiday weekend
Hood: I just sat around and drank whiskey, in the dark, while playing Russian roulette…talk about a RUSH!
Smith: Always a great role model. We are fresh off of what some called the best Massacre of all time one week ago…so, what do we have for an encore?
Hood: Some WEAK ASS BOOKING, if you ask me
Smith: And I’m sorry I did…we have the fifth Process of Elimination Match…a ‘what could have been’ match between CJ O’Donnell and Jacqui Monroe…a revenge match, as funny as that sounds, between Matt Meyhu and Tony the Spider…plus, PKA takes on Josie Barnes in a match both competitors need to win
Hood: What? No Levi Russow? What the fuck?
Smith: Everybody needs a week off from time to time, Hood
Hood: Not CJ O’Donnell…the TRUE iron man
Smith: We will also see Lukas Emery, Tyler Michelson, and Tiffany Prada make their in ring debuts…it’s going to be a great night, I can feel it
Hood: Quit talking and get to it!
Smith: Indeed…folks, let’s head down to ringside for our first match!
”The Brand” Tyler Michelson (0-0) vs. Tatum Coe (0-2)
~Coe is seen rolling up the sleeves to an expensive oxford shirt. He slowly removes a heavy, pricey silver watch. His legs are covered in gray slacks and his feet with black dress shoes. Coe rolls the sleeves up to his elbows and rotates his neck back and forth looking like a man challenged to an impromptu fight outside of work or something~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Miami Beach, Florida…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 215lbs…Tatum Coe!!!
~Money hits the loud speakers and Tyler saunters out from the back and arrogantly shouts at the crowd. He makes his way to the ring taking his time pointing to himself arrogantly. He climbs into the ring with an air of contempt and arrogance~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 236lbs…”The Brand” Tyler Michelson!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Tyler Michelson was a somewhat late addition to the show…he signed near the booking deadline
Hood: Yea, I don’t really know anything about him aside from the fact his name starts out like Michelob before taking a negative turn toward sobriety
Smith: I think Tyler Michelob would be a horrible name
Hood: No way, it’d be great!
~Coe approaches the taller, thicker Michelson. Coe, a falling star in OCW, sneers at the newcomer. He reaches back and slaps Michelson in the face!! Michelson’s head jerks to the left. He takes a moment to let the pain seep in, reaching up to the afflicted cheek~
Smith: Well, that’s one way to introduce yourself
Hood: Could be a great new door to door sales technique
Smith: Huh?
Hood: Knock, Knock…who’s there? SMACK
Smith: That would get you arrested
Hood: Okay, okay, fine...only strike the men OR very large women
~Coe senses Michelson isn’t going to do anything. He laughs, shaking his head. Michelson suddenly knees Coe in the gut…he hooks Coe’s head and drops him with a snap DDT!!! Coe is out! Michelson rolls him over, with the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…TYLER MICHELSON!!!!!
Smith: Wow…quickest loss in Tatum Coe’s career?
Hood: I think so…I guess he’ll wrestle in his gear next time
Smith: Coe’s mind is definitely on other things…he’s going to be useless until he gets that head of his clear
Hood: Seriously, the guy should just cash out and enjoy his money
Smith: Perhaps…on the other end, Tyler Michelson disposed of a former LightWeight Champion in just over a minute…what a debut!
Hood: Yea, so far, so good
Smith: I look forward to seeing what Michelson has to provide in the future…well folks, we’re just getting started, so let’s head backstage
~ The camera fades backstage into the Aptitude locker room with The Incredible One and “The Marvel” Matt Meyhu standing in the middle of the locker room just staring at one another. You hear the toilet flush and out walks “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell adjusting himself as he just throws his hands up in the air. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Would you two stop with this pissing contest already. It is causing a lot of friction in this group. Isn’t that right Bradley?
~ As the camera zooms out you see “The Professor” Bradley Carrington sitting on the bench with Autumn Carrington behind him massaging his shoulders. ~
Smith: WHOA WAIT! Why is Bradley Carrington there?!
Hood: If you’d shut up for one second, we’d find out.
Smith: He better not be associated with these monsters…
Hood: Monsters? These guys are legends among men!
~ Carrington ignores CJ as Autumn is really giving him a great back massage. ~
CJ O’Donnell: CARRINGTON … You have been sitting in the corner for the last two months with Autumn all over you like you were the star varsity football player and she is the head cheerleader. You haven’t said a fucking word I think now would be the perfect opportunity.
~CJ kicks the end of the bench which finally gets his attention~
CJ O’Donnell: Leave that stuff for the bedroom or privacy of your own apartment. Would you tell these two that they are acting like two teenage boys fighting for the love of the hottest girl in school?
Bradley: Well, if this was a school they would be fighting over the second hottest girl, I’ve already got number one. But CJ is right, the OCW championship belongs to us no matter what, no need for the hostility.
CJ O’Donnell: Exactly. So hug it out?
~ CJ waits for TIO or Meyhu to make the first move but both of them are too stubborn to budge. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Hey cock suckers I said hug it out or I am going to make you watch a Vargas promo about how great he is.
TIO: I ain’t hugging shit. This guy right here wants the OCW Championship but the way he talks about it, he degrades the very meaning of being the top champion here. He doesn’t even deserve to be in the main event with me!
Meyhu: It wouldn’t be the main event if it weren’t for me! I’ll have great respect for the OCW Championship after this match.
~ Matt smirks at TIO. ~
TIO: You’re joking, right? CJ tell me he’s joking? I AM OCW, motherf---
~ CJ just shakes his head and steps between Meyhu and TIO as they look like they are about to come to blows. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Gentlemen … This is what they want us to do. They want us to fight. They want us to be at each other’s throat. Who cares who leaves Stainless Steel Ride as OCW Champions…all that matters is the only title we don’t have control of is the Ascension Title.
~ TIO turns his attention towards O’Donnell, his jaw dropped. ~
TIO: CJ, it does matter. Do you actually care about the tag title that you earned for our group? All Meyhu cares about is his goddamn resume, and not actually bringing prestige to this group. I bet you he thinks of the Aptitude as just another resume seller too.
CJ O’Donnell: Listen I know you both want to be the top dog here. Both of you want to be the Alpha Male but what do you want OCW to do announce you as Co-holders of the OCW Title. That would be like us using the free bird rule to defend the tag belts?
~ CJ trying to lighten the mood in the locker room but it does not seem to be helping.~
Meyhu: There can only be one this time. Slander me all you want, bud, but I’m here for the group. That’s why I am going to represent us all as OCW Champion.
CJ O’Donnell: Bradley you want to help a fellow brother out?
Bradley: CJ is right, guys. Stop fighting! Remember all we’ve done together. Hey, how about the time we became tag team champions? What a debut. And, remember when we beat MJ, Mack, and Vargas? Huge win. For all of us. And let’s not forget… Ahhhh…
~ CJ looks over at Bradley again and he is getting another massage from Autumn. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Jesus Christ those two need to get a room or something. Anyway, we need to fix this right here right now. So what would make you two get on the same fucking page? I am not going to play referee the next three weeks as I have legends to defeat.
TIO: Nothing…
CJ O’Donnell: Bullshit. Put all your cards on the table and get over this fucking nonsense. You two are acting like Vargas when he loses to the Aptitude and honestly it is mind boggling. We are better than this. A title is going to break up the Aptitude. We came here to OCW to conquer it. We did just that. We are the Kings of this Mountain! So work this shit out before I bitch slap both of you.
TIO: Caleb - you and I have been friends for WAY longer than Matt and I have been. You should fucking understand what I’m saying. If you don’t then…
~ TIO starts to leave the room but turns around. ~
TIO: Fuck you all.
~ TIO storms out of the locker room. ~
Meyhu: And I’m the one that doesn’t care about the group?
CJ O’Donnell: This is fucking hopeless. Thanks for your help Bradley!
Bradley: Anytime, CJ.
~ Bradley doesn’t notice the obvious sarcasm in CJ’s voice as you go back to Hood and Smith at ringside. ~
Smith: A group like The Aptitude is great, in theory…once titles come into play, those egos cannot co-exist
Hood: I don’t know man, they seem to have been pretty GREAT in reality
Smith: Well, you know what I mean…there’s no way this group can last
Hood: Of course they can…THE GREATEST MAN THAT EVER LIVED is now a part of them…he’ll formulate a way to fix the friction.
Smith: We’ll see…it should be interesting…
“FUCK YOU PUSSY!!! ….Stars N Bars, bitch!!!”…
~“Needle and the Spoon” by Lynyrd Skynyrd controls the sound system as “Vicious” Chad Vargas emerges from the back. Standing atop the entrance ramp in street clothes, a pair of torn jeans and a black ‘Southern Gentleman’ sleeveless shirt. The orange and blue colors strongly represented as he has a confederate flag draped over his shoulders. Vargas strolls down the aisle mouthing obscenities to the fans as he makes his way to the ring. He stops before a fan bearing a ‘I <3 CJ’ sign. Vargas shakes his head in disgust before dropping the fan with a haymaker. Teeth fly as the kid is absolutely flatlined. Vargas reaches the ring and grabs a microphone from Belvedere. Vargas fake swings on Belvedere nearly scaring the shit out of him as he quickly gets out of the ring.~
Smith: Chad Vargas needs to be suspended indefinitely. Not only does he taunt Belvedere every chance he gets, but he just assaulted that poor fan down there!
Hood: Apparently he has something to get off his chest! Let the man speak! 90% of OCW fans are shit bags anyway, guy had it coming.
~Camera pans back to the fan still KO’d. Vargas paces the ring.~
Vargas: I hate the Aptitude just as much as you jobless, penniless, IQ-less, pathetic fans in attendance…
~The crowd boos madly~
Vargas: But don’t look at me as your hero! I could give a fuck what that trio of homosexuals do within OCW. As long as deep down inside, they know how stale and weak they are – I’m cool with it. I don’t waiver my displeasure for Marcus Welsh – never had, never will. That being said, I don’t think I’m going to compete in any OCW sanctioned matches until I pile up Julliet Brooks at SSR. Don’t you need the training, you ask?
~Vargas pauses, as if waiting for the audience to respond. But presses on quickly thereafter.~
Vargas: I’m set to compete against a 100lb woman, what the fuck do you think? Training. Bullshit. I’ll hit that bitch one time square in her mouth and end her fucking career just as simple. You all know what I think about women in the industry, so instead making all you liberal whores cry – I’ll leave it alone. Julliet Brooks ain’t worth the TV time anyway. Hope you’re in the back listening while you’re riding management’s cock, sweetie.
~A slight Julliet Brooks chant picks up, but dies shortly after the crowd sees Vargas is less than impressed.~
Vargas: With Treat Cassidy out of the picture, I’m running my own career from here on out, and I do not intend on competing in any fuckball matches this time around. I cannot stand by and be a part of this WEAK ASS BOOKING. Instead of opening a card against a hoe, I should be headlining the motherfucker. But, no. We have Boring #1 and Boring #2 headlining for the OCW strap – that I haven’t never got a chance to get back. How fucked up is that. Dropped it to Bob Grenier a year ago and never got a rematch. Instead Bob and I are facing two chicks while those two schmucks go toe to toe for my title. It’s alright – as long as Welsh and his cronies know that no matter who wins June 19th, OCW dies. Neither one of them are fit to carry this company. You can say “OH but Ian beat you!” Sure, he did, but he also had management in his back pocket. So good luck fellas. I hope you both die in the middle of the ring. Maybe Welsh will get a thumb out of his ass and book me in a decent match next week. Until then, fuck each and every one of you!!!
~Vargas drops the mic and climbs out of the ring.~
Smith: Vargas needs to lay off the liquor.
Hood: Classic Chad Vargas, coming out with his rambling on but I gotta say I love it!
Smith: You would. He’s a rude, crude, disrespectful excuse for a human being.
Hood: He tells it like it is and anyone can respect that, so… in his words, fuck off pussy!
Smith: Pure class as always, Hood. Well, we just heard from Vargas which was, well, unexpected…definitely not on my itinerary
Hood: It was on mine!
Smith: What? Let me see that!
~Smith stares at a blank sheet of paper…well, it’s ALMOST blank. There is a pair of crudely drawn tits at the bottom~
Smith: What is this?!
Hood: I like to leave my itinerary open…you never know what’s going to happen!
Smith: Ugh, right, should have guessed. Anyway, Julliet Brooks is scheduled to make a big announcement concerning her match against Vargas at Stainless Steel Ride later this evening…I for one can’t wait to hear that.
Hood: No doubt it will be a stipulation set up to SCREW OVER VARGAS
Smith: That man is a conspiracy theorist…the only person holding The Confederate Icon back is Chad Vargas…but that’s a story for another time. Right now we have our second match of the evening scheduled as Lukas Emery looks to win his OCW debut! Let’s head on down to ringside!
Lukas Emery (0-0) vs. “Detective” Jack Puffer (0-2)
~Puffer is in the ring. He’s looking at Belvedere with mischievous eyes~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring, from Aurora, Illinois…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 215lbs…’Detective’ Jack Puffer!!!
~Puffer walks up and takes the mic from Belvedere! Belvedere responds with a loud and boisterous, “Hey!” Puffer puts the mic behind his back, stuffing it into the elastic waist band of his pants. Belvedere asks for the mic back…Puffer shrugs and goes “Did you LOSE the mic?” The crowd groans~
Smith: What is he doing?
Hood: Belvedere lost the mic! No worries…Jack Puffer is on the case!
~We see the mic slip through the band of his pants, slide down his leg, drop out of the hold at the bottom, near his feet…ricochet off his heel and roll out of the ring. Nobody in the ring notices this…Belvedere has grown quite angry and yells, “Give me my mic you hack!” Puffer calmly holds up one finger and responds, “Hack, you say?” He reaches behind for the mic…it’s gone. His eyes widen…he looks around frantically~
Smith: Unbelievable
Hood: Damnit…c’mon, Jack! Find that mic!
~Belvedere snaps his fingers and is promptly handed another mic. Puffer continues searching for the old one, with zero luck. The lights in the arena go out, leaving it in total darkness as “Bartholomew” by The Silent Comedy begins to play over the sound system~
~The guitar comes in, as a spotlight illuminates an area of the stage, and Lukas Emery slowly makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his black tank top and blue jeans~
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring, from Cardiff, Wales, now residing in London, England. Standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…Lukas Emery!
~The spotlight follows as Emery continues to make his way to the ring, bouncing and singing to the music a little bit. He makes his way to ringside and takes the steps up to the ring before stepping in. Once in the ring, he slowly turns around, looking at his surroundings. He spots Puffer on all fours looking for the mic. The bell rings~
Smith: Puffer had better pay attention to what’s going on inside the ring
Hood: No way…he’s got a case to solve…that’s the most important matter!
Smith: He can do that later…if he doesn’t turn his attention to Lukas Emery then something bad…oh, wait, never mind…it’s too late
Hood: Puffer! Look out!
~Emery doesn’t hesitate…he doesn’t waste any time. He rushes over to Puffer…he grabs Puffer by the hair. Puffer stands…Emery spins him around. Puffer tries to say something about detection. Emery doesn’t care to hear it. He head butts Puffer in the face!! Puffer falls into the corner~
Smith: Ouch
Hood: Man, if Puffer thought finding work was tough before…try getting hired without any teeth. Toothless people never get hired.
Smith: I’m sure that’s a fabrication
Hood: Would you hire a toothless person?
Smith: Umm, well, I can’t say
Hood: Yea, that’s a no
~Emery yanks Puffer out of the corner, dragging him into the center of the ring…he hooks Puffer’s head under his arm and drops him in the center of the ring with Light of Emery (Sister Abigail)!! Puffer is out. Emery makes a casual cover…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…LUKAS EMERY!!!!!
Smith: Dominant win by Lukas Emery…two matches, two dominating wins…the talent coming into OCW these days is incredible
Hood: Whoa, easy there, Smith. They might be good…but they aren’t incredible. Only ONE man in OCW is incredible
Smith: Excuse me…I didn’t realize I was demeaning your hero
Hood: Your hero AND mine…The Incredible One
Smith: We’ll have to see what Mark Storm says about that…regardless, Lukas Emery with a great performance…I can’t wait to see what he does next
Hood: Fuck yea
Smith: Let’s head backstage!
~ The camera fades backstage and you are backstage in the catering room. Alice Knight seems to be a little frazzled. In walks “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell after he just tried to work out the problems between TIO and Meyhu but had no luck. CJ decides to approach Alice and see how she is doing. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Hey Miss Knight how are you doing tonight?
Alice Knight: Oh! CJ!
~ Alice gives him a soft hug before turning back to the catering table. ~
Alice Knight: What is with these crackers and cold cuts? It’s either the cracker is too small or the meat is too big. UGH! I wish OCW would get this right one time. They have plenty of mini hotdog wieners but…. I just can’t get past this cold cut situation and… bah…. Anyway… I’m doing okay to answer your question… you?
~ CJ looks at Alice and then looks at her problem with either the cracker being too small or the meat is too big. He waits a moment and then an idea strikes him. He folds the meat in half and then half again so it is a quarter of the original size. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Does that work better for you? And I would be doing a lot better if Meyhu and TIO would stop bitching about who is going to be the next OCW Champion.
~ CJ lets out a sigh as he takes a seat at a table. ~
Alice Knight: Yeah. That has to be rough. It’s like asking who has a bigger ego. Jesus Christ or … um… another Jesus like fellow. Ugh. Sorry, I too am confused. This whole Bob Grenier and his Mutiny has me on my nerves. It pisses me off, to be honest. I mean the “2017 Alice Knight Retirement” tour? What the shit is that? I don’t know…. But totally. If you fold the meat it does fit the cracker. You’re always so helpful. Thanks, CJ.
CJ O’Donnell: Exactly it is like they are having a pissing contest over who is the better ass kisser. Anyway as far as Grenier goes don’t let him get under your skin and take you off your game plan that is exactly what he wants to do. You are Alice Knight a former OCW champion who lead this new breed of superstars when OCW reopened its door. Bob has been mopping floors and breaking down the ring after Massacre. And no need to thank me that is what friends do they help one another.
~ Alice takes a bit of the cracker/meat combo and smiles.~
Alice Knight: Yeah I guess you’re right. But maybe Bob is right. The doctors say I shouldn’t wrestle. The doctors say I shouldn’t step into a wrestling ring again. The doctors say I shouldn’t mix pop rocks with a pepsi cola. I just don’t know what to do. Bob is a former OCW Champion as well and has been bitter at me, the OCW fans and mostly himself. And he has this Mutiny to back him up. Sometimes I wish I was just a simple ol’ crab to crawl under a rock and ignore all this nonsense. But at last, I am a human being. And not a crab. I’m not a crab CJ. I am a human.... I love crabs.
~ CJ looks on as Alice rambles on nervously as he picks up a cracker and bites down on it. ~
CJ O’Donnell: Alice, you need to take a deep breath and relax. I understand you have a lot on your mind but you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are one helluva wrestler who has the backing of the OCW fans. You fight for them night in and night out. I know they may not like me but I can be an asshole. I know this and welcome the jeers as it gives me a boost of adrenaline I need sometimes in a match. You are a great human being while I am just a complete douche bag. I deserve the trouble I get myself into but you do not deserve to be treated like shit. And do not worry about the Mutiny or Grenier attacking you again because you have my word I will watch your behind. Now as far as …
~ CJ pauses for a moment as he doesn’t know how he wants to approach this with Alice. ~
CJ O’Donnell: your doctor goes I would personally go for a second opinion. And do not use a reference from him. Think outside the box and go to someone else that no one has connections to. And if you can not afford the bill just let me know and I’ll help you out because well it is the least I can do for you.
~ Alice nods and looks at CJ. She gently takes a crumb off his chin.~
Alice Knight: You missed a bit. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I need to get a second opinion. And I think I can afford it. I have my jar full of Canadian loonies in the cupboard for a rainy day-slash-potential crab farming venture. But I appreciate you watching my buttocks and behind and um, back. Whatever. It’s nice to know. Really. But thinking outside the box. I love boxes almost as much as I love cra-...nevermind... But I’ll do my best.
CJ O’Donnell: Your best is all that the fans can ask for. Also if you need someone to take you or go with you I am only a phone call away. I would hate for you to have to go to something that nerve-wracking by yourself.
Alice Knight: That is… crazy nice of you. Thanks. I might take you up on that offer. Why… why are you so nice to me if I may ask? I mean sure I’m pretty damn cool after all. But I don’t know. You’re so um, perfect. And I’m such a mess. I just… you know what. Never mind. How about this cheese? What kind of cheese is this? Cheddar… doesn’t taste like cheddar… it’s…
~ Alice takes a bite of cheese and looks awkwardly around the food. CJ just smiles at Alice. ~
CJ O’Donnell: I am nice to you because well it looks like you could use a friend. It is simple as that. I want to apologize to you if I came off too aggressive the last time we were alone. It was not very distinguished of me to be so forward. As far as the cheese goes…
~ CJ takes a bite of the cheese. ~
CJ O’Donnell: I believe it is Muenster Cheese.
Alice Knight: You weren’t aggressive. A little forward but I like that. Just not used to it. I’ll tell you what. If we can get through this Meyhu/Incredible fighting, Mutiny/Bob attacks and cheese and crackers conversations. How about we go on a proper date? Like one of those dinner and movies things. If that’s not too cliched? Maybe it is. As long as it’s not a crab dinner…
~ Alice laughs and makes ‘crab claws’ with her fingers attempting to make CJ laugh. She succeeds as CJ has a grin on his face. ~
CJ O’Donnell: If that is what you would like but I think something is more important than both of that. How about we worry about your health first Alice. Make sure you are able to compete and nothing serious can happen to the founder of the OWL-heads. Then you can pick the movie and place you want to eat for this proper date. How does that sound?
~ Alice nods at CJ. ~
Alice Knight: Yeah… you’re right. But I will wear a helmet in the match if it gets me that match with Bob. And yes, sounds like a good idea.
CJ O’Donnell: Great then. I hate to cut this short but I have a match to get ready for against Monroe tonight. Also as soon as you have an appointment for that second opinion you better text or call me.
Alice Knight: You betchya. And good luck…
CJ O’Donnell: Thanks. See you soon Miss Alice and behave yourself.
~ CJ stands up from the table and begins to make his way towards the exit of the catering room. He does turn around one more time to look at Alice who is sitting at the table and now enjoying her cheese and crackers. CJ smiles as he walks through the door. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: And there he is again…stalking Alice Knight
Hood: What do you mean ‘stalking’…they just bumped into each other…not like it’s his fault Alice Knight lingers around like a bad smell
Smith: That’s a rude thing to say…I was surprised she seemed somewhat eager about a second ‘date’
Hood: Yea, fifty bucks says they watch Netflix and chill…OUTSIDE
Smith: I doubt that happens…I just hope Alice knows what she’s getting into
Hood: She doesn’t but that’s never stopped her before!
~The screen over the entrance goes black then a white light appears in the middle of the screen growing until we have a bright white glowing screen. Scenes start flashing scenes of the newest OCW wrestler Liam Zua, scenes of him fighting in cages, and parking garages. One scene shows him flipping off the top of a semi-trailer. Suddenly walking out of the back we see Liam Zua as we get a mixed reaction from the crowd. He walks down to the ring and climbs inside grabbing a mic~
Liam: Monday Night Massacre, OCW Key West Florida what a hell of a night so far. You know I guarantee none of you have ever heard of me unless you are one of the rich pricks who would pay to watch people fight in garages, drained swimming pools, any alley way or street out there. Well that’s where I learned life’s lessons out there in the real world getting my ass kicked every day.
But I am ready for a new challenge and I heard some of the best people compete here in OCW so I took my shot and here I am standing before this crowd and putting the locker room on notice Liam Zua is here I am not afraid and I am ready to kick some ass and make that money. So let's go next week June 5th in this ring I am ready to take on whoever those men in the back think can handle me. This time next week I will be here ready and waiting.
~Liam drops the mic and climbs out of the ring heading to the back~
Smith: Strong words from OCW’s newest signing…Liam Zua!
Hood: Gotta respect a guy who talks shit before he wrestles his first match…I like it!
Smith: We will all get a glimpse of what Mr. Zua has to offer next week. Now, it’s time for our final opening match of the night as Tiffany Prada makes her debut
Hood: I’ve heard she has a fine ass
Smith: Your sources are lecherous. Anyway…I’VE HEARD she has tremendous in ring abilities and skills…so, let’s not wait any further…the debut of Tiffany Prada is next!
Tiffany Prada (0-0) vs. Shootah (0-2)
~Shootah is already in the ring. In one hand he has what appears to be pepper spray. In the other is a whistle of some kind. He’s shaking, shivering…staring down the ramp petrified of what is to come~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring…from Hollywood, California…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 180lbs…Shootah!!!
~”I Get Off” by Halestorm hits…the crowd stands and watches. Shootah SCREAMS and ducks down. Scruff heads over and reminds him it’s just the music. He slowly stands, trying to regain a shred of masculinity. Tiffany Prada walks out from behind the curtain! She stands confidently atop the ramp, looking down at the ring. It’s clear she’s ready for her debut. She struts down the ramp with a smile on her face that exudes equanimity. She reaches the ring and hops up onto the apron. She slides in through the ropes and passes a smile at Belvedere. She then backs into her corner, ready for action~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from St Paul, Minnesota…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 123lbs…Tiffany Prada!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Tiffany Prada set to make her debut tonight against Shootah who, well, appears to be firing blanks these days
Hood: Seriously? Well, if that’s true…the good news is he doesn’t have to use rubbers
Smith: I’m referring to his in ring abilities
Hood: He’s going to try and have sex with Tiffany Prada?
Smith: NO!
~Prada approaches Shootah. He yells, “STAY BACK, YO!” He raises his horn and spray. Prada seems nonplussed…she looks at Scruff…Scruff shrugs. She tries to be friendly about it. She extends her hand…as she does a loud “HONK” sounds out. Shootah is pressing down on his horn~
Smith: What is that?
Hood: That’s what women and, well, Shootah refer to as a ‘rape’ horn
Smith: Oh, so they use it for protection
Hood: Yes…IF they can figure out how to use it because, let’s be honest, women aren’t the smartest creatures in the world
Smith: Smarter than you
Hood: That might be the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me
~The noise is so loud is spooks Shootah. He drops the horn…it falls out of the ring. Prada takes another step closer…Shootah fires off some spray. It hits Prada in the face! She staggers back, grabbing at her eyes. The fans boo. Shootah looks at his spray, touching the ‘exit’ hole. He places a bit of the superfluous discharge onto his finger and into his eye. He SCREAMS in pain, dropping the spray bottle…Scruff kicks it out of the ring~
Smith: Okay so they are both blind or, well, in the case of Shootah…half blind
Hood: How is any of this legal?
Smith: Because…Shootah?
Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!
~Shootah is able to cleanse his eye of the painful liquid. He looks at Prada who is having difficulty regaining vision. Shootah, now aware of how painful pepper spray can be, approaches Prada with a sympathetic posture~
Smith: It appears as though Shootah is sorry
Hood: Well he should be…the best part about Prada is her face and, well it’s been covered up most of the match
Smith: She’s more than a pretty face
Hood: Good point…that ass is no slouch, either
~Shootah tries to pat Prada on the back. She manages to see, through strained, blurred vision who is before her…she grabs him by the back of the head and drops him with a sitout jawbreaker!! The crowd groans as Shootah snaps back, slamming the back of his head onto the mat. He’s already out~
Smith: If this were boxing, I believe Shootah would be diagnosed with a glass jaw
Hood: What happened? Did his original jaw get removed or something?
Smith: It’s parlance for not being able to take a punch
Hood: Oh, whew…I was worried glass jaws might be a legit thing. Imagine if you’re talking to someone, their glass jaw breaks and they just start bleeding everywhere. That would be horrible!
Smith: That’s some imagination
~Prada wipes as much pepper spray from her eyes as she’s going to be able to remove without the aid of cleansers or water. She sits Shootah up, slapping him around in a ‘wake up’ attempt. Shootah’s eyes blink open. He’s one his knees…Prada takes a few steps back…she then runs forward and kicks Shootah in the head with a Shining Wizard!! Shootah falls back over…Prada makes the cover~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…TIFFANY PRADA!!!!!
Smith: Easy win for Tiffany Prada…but, hey, we expected that
Hood: Yep, she passed her first test.
Smith: Indeed…they will increase in difficulty as she moves forward. It’s been an exciting night so far as all rookies have impressed…we’re set to move into our more competitive portion of in ring action so, as we make that transition…let’s head backstage!
~The cameras cut to backstage, where we see Lukas Emery and Josie Barnes in their locker room. Lukas has changed into some street clothes, as Josie is in her ring gear, ready for her match. They are sitting across from each other, as Lukas holds an ice pack to his shoulder~
Josie Barnes: You were great out there babe. Didn’t matter if you were facing that Detective, or not. There is though something I been wondering about though….
Lukas Emery: Oh? What’s that?
~She looks at him, as she goes to reach for his hand~
Josie Barnes: How exactly were you able to get me out of Cocoa Beach like you did?
~Lukas lets out a sigh and takes her hand, as she comes over and sits on his lap.~
Lukas Emery: Well, actually I’ve been debating on telling you this. When you called me, freaking out the way you were…well I knew I had to do something. I have some...connections, that I knew could be of use so I got in contact with them and got you an off the records flight, then got a rental car to drive to the airport to pick you up.
Josie Barnes: Connections?
Lukas Emery: Josie...I’ve done some...dangerous things in my past. I’ve made some very powerful allies...also some powerful enemies, but that’s a story for another time. These connections I have came through for me with the condition that I would be held accountable if anything were to happen to you. I told them you would be under my protection, and I would let nothing happen to you. I made the same promise to you, and I fully intend on keeping that promise.
Josie Barnes: Is that everything, or is there more to it? I know you will keep the promise, I’m not doubting that, it’s why you are Mr. Protector. Your past, I know you will tell me when the time is right, and you are ready to tell me, but don’t think I will run when you do.
Lukas Emery: There may come a time that I have to return a favor to them for helping me get you to safety. At the time, I was only focused on getting you out of Cocoa Beach. I didn’t really care what it cost me. But, it’s one reason I’m not worried about that stalker. He WON’T get close to you. So it’s one less thing you need to worry about. I want you to be able to focus on stuff like training and your career...well...and us too, I suppose.
~Lukas gives a little smirk, then winces from his shoulder being sore.~
Josie Barnes: I think my training helps focus on us, more so I train with you. I hope you don’t have to return the favor for a long time, least not till after this stalker is taken care of. I will try not to worry about him, and focus on training, my career, and us.I can promise that.
~Lukas leans back in his chair and lets out a sigh~
Lukas Emery: It’s been one hell of a week, hasn’t it?
Josie Barnes: That it has.
Lukas Emery: Between the drama with the stalker, getting the beach house, all the drama on Twitter between everybody...CJ with his shit…
~She lets out a low groan at hearing CJ~
Josie Barnes: CJ will get his one day. I know he’s my adopted brother, but sometimes he does things just to piss me off I think. Yet he still doesn’t understand anything. Oh well. I least wouldn’t change this week for anything. I’m glad most of it happened.
Lukas Emery: Yeah, it diiiid kind of bring us together, didn’t it? I do suppose that makes all the other stuff worth it.
Josie Barnes: Yeah it did. I think even without it, we would still be right here where we are. Just that connection. Levi seen it, and I think others did as well.
Lukas Emery: Yeah, when it’s something that instantaneous and that strong, you really can’t deny it. We just clicked as soon as we met.
~She nods her head yes at him, as she was smiling~
Josie Barnes: Yeah we did. Yet I had still needed a push to do anything about it, but least I got it before it was too late.
Lukas Emery: Yeah, that’s true. But now you know what you need to do, right?
Josie Barnes: Yeah I do. Go out there, and win my match. Afterwards we get to go out, and enjoy some dessert.
~The two share a laugh~
Lukas Emery: Now that I can definitely look forward to. But for now, go out there and give ‘em hell, my dear. You got this, and I’ll be behind the curtain cheering for you.
Josie Barnes: Yes you will be, like I was for you. I can’t lose, not with you here. Alright, I’m going before I try to find a reason to stay here with you.
~She gives him a kiss and then stands up, and he gives her a tap on the butt~
Josie Barnes: Hey!
Lukas Emery: What? It’s for good luck.
Josie Barnes: Uh huh...or you just wanted an excuse to touch it.
Lukas Emery: A little bit of both? Now go on and get out there, killer.
Josie Barnes: Nope it’s Fighter, not killer.
~She laughs, as she sticks her tongue out at him. She turns and starts to head out the door, as he stands up and tosses the ice pack down onto the chair as they leave the locker room for Josie’s match~
Smith: Romance is blossoming before our very eyes!
Hood: Ugh that’s disgusting…how about we book Barnes vs Emery for next week!
Smith: Now that would be poor booking
Hood: I think it’d be great but, yea, it probably won’t happen
Smith: There is nothing wrong with two young, single individuals testing the relationship waters. Both have bright futures here in OCW…they could become a power couple
Hood: Not if Curt Canon and Checkers have anything to say about it!
Smith: Right…well, Josie Barnes is set to compete in a few moments…however, first up we have Matt Meyhu in a match nobody ever expected…Matt Meyhu, the legend takes on…Tony the Spider
Hood: HA!
Smith: Indeed
”The Marvel” Matt Meyhu © (9-0) vs. Tony the Spider (3-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!!
~The OCW Arena quiets down. Smoke begins to fill the entrance way. “Jump” by Van Halen begins to play. The crowd rises to their feet…they start to throw their heads around to the music. A tiny, round silhouette steps through the smoke. He’s got his circular shades on…his mullet is FULL FORCE and his bright yellow shirt is bright AND yellow. He’s got spandex black shorts on. But, even more impressive, a yellow fanny pack is secured tightly around his waist. He bobs his head like a rooster to the music as he marches to the ring. He slaps hands with fans as a “TONY” chant begins~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Emelio’s Backyard…standing 5’6 and weighing in at a stout 190lbs…Tony the Spider!!!
~“LA… LA, LA LA… Wait Till I Get My Money Right…” “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West hits as the lights dim. Green lights flicker throughout the arena as Matt Meyhu walks slowly out onto the ramp with both titles strapped around his waist. The Savage Title sits above the Tag Title. Matt poses for the fans with a smirk on his face, receiving a chorus of boos. He walks down the ramp, ignoring fans who reach out to him, until he reaches the ring apron. He hops up onto it and grabs the top rope before vaulting over into the ring. Matt lands and hops up and down a few times before making his way over to his corner. He climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle and poses once more for the fans, receiving the same reaction again. He laughs as he hops down and takes his place in the corner~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’5 and weighing in at 240lbs…he is the OCW Savage Champion and current #1 Contender to the OCW Title…’The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu!!!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: I’m not sure what we’re going to see in this one…you’ve got arguably OCW’s most talented wrestler against, well, it’s least talented
Hood: Tony the Spider ain’t no Shootah!
Smith: Okay, so he’s in the bottom five
Hood: I think you’re underestimating Tony the Spider. Any man with that type of potato chip accuracy is a superstar in my book…the Book of Hood
Smith: If your mother were still alive you might sell two copies
Hood: OUCH…man, ouch
~Meyhu slowly removes his Tag Team Championship…he takes his time handing it through the ropes to Belvedere. Tony the Spider is chuckling. The crowd is anxious, ready for this match to begin. Meyhu raises his index finger indicating ‘one more minute’. Tony bursts into laughter. The crowd groans with displeasure. Meyhu removes his Savage Championship and holds it up for everyone to see…he turns the belt around, staring into the plate…a smug look passes over his face. He nods his head in approval of either the imagery on the plate or his reflection – probably the latter. Meyhu proceeds to pass his second belt to Belvedere. The fans react with a ‘FINALLY’ kind of noise. Meyhu rotates his shoulders and turns his attention to Tony. He slaps each shoulder and hops around on both feet. Tony just laughs~
Smith: Well, if The Marvel is finally ready I guess we can have a wrestling match
Hood: Hey, like a fine wine…you don’t rush Matt Meyhu into competing
Smith: What about Tony?
Hood: TONY? A FINE WINE? Yea, right…more like a MD 20/20…Blue Raspberry…OR Boone’s Farm…Strawberry Hill
Smith: I am proud to state that I haven’t tried either
Hood: Then you haven’t LIVED
~Meyhu seems nonplussed by Tony’s aura. Tony reaches for his fanny pack…the crowd rises with anticipation. Meyhu braces…Tony unzips the surprisingly long zipper and reaches in. He removes a bright red cheetoh, tossing it into his mouth. His finger tips are stained red. Tony laughs while crunching down on the crack-like addictive snack~
Smith: Tony came prepared with Flamin Hot Cheetos, it appears
Hood: Most addicting chip…err, well, salty snack ever!
Smith: I have to wear gloves when I eat them
Hood: Gloves? Shit, man, I wear one of those yellow radioactive suits…with a mouth hole cut out, of course.
Smith: Of course
Hood: And a dick hole cut out in case I’m too lazy to take it off before the ‘mood’ strikes
Smith: Okay, that’s enough!
~Tony’s belly jiggles with laughter and perhaps his internal organs raising up in horror that another heavily produced, overly seasoned edible apparatus has found its way into their work area. Meyhu looks around as if to say “Are we ready?” Tony walks up and extends his hand. Meyhu looks down at the stained, red fingers and slaps it away. He then goes on to inform Tony that he was less than pleased with what happened the previous week~
Smith: Nobody hates losing more than Matt Meyhu and, well, in his eyes Tony the Spider is fully to blame
Hood: How do we know Tony just wasn’t giving Meyhu a pat on the back for good luck?
Smith: Because he instantly entered the match after slapping Meyhu’s back
Hood: Maybe he swatted a mosquito and was moving into the ring to pick it up.
Smith: Really…Tony the Spider picking up after himself?
Hood: Fuck, yea, you got me there
~Tony shakes his head, chuckling. Meyhu seems distraught that Tony isn’t taking the situation more seriously. The Marvel towers over the diminutive Spider. He tries to intimidate the member of the Webb family…however, Tony just laughs and looks down at his fanny pack. He reaches for the zipper. Meyhu slaps his hand away and shoves Tony into the corner, furiously insulted~
Smith: I’m not sure Meyhu is used to someone being THAT unaffected by his presence
Hood: They say laughter can sometimes be a cover for fear…is that Tony’s way of hiding the fact he’s terrified?
Smith: Yea, I don’t think so
Hood: Well if he isn’t afraid now he’d better be soon because Meyhu is about to tear into his ass…not literally!
~Meyhu grabs Tony’s fat chin, squeezing it with his hand. It gives Tony the ‘duck’ face. Tony laughs. While laughing, he reaches for his fanny pack. Meyhu doesn’t notice…he unzips it and reaches inside, he removes a handful of a Flaming Hot Cheetos!! Meyhu gets a whiff and lets go, standing back. Tony crams his mouth full. He begins chewing…Meyhu shakes his head and looks at Scruff as if to say, ‘what the hell am I supposed to do with this guy?’~
Smith: Matt Meyhu has faced any and all comers in his professional wrestling career. He’s faced big men, small men, tall men, short men…people of all genders and races…any style imaginable
Hood: I even heard he fought a dolphin once
Smith: Well, I don’t know about that…but I do know that he’s never faced anyone like Tony the Spider
Hood: A dolphin with arms!
Smith: You’ve been reading too many tabloids
~Tony suddenly SPITS a mouthful of chewed up Flaming Hot Cheetos into Meyhu’s face!! The crowd gasps. Meyhu reaches up, wiping his eyes clean. He reaches out, grabs Tony by the mullet, drags him into the center of the ring and drops him with The Ego Trip!!! The crowd audibly sighs. Meyhu flips Tony over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…the OCW Savage Champion…..”THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!
Smith: I hope those cheetos were worth it
Hood: Flaming Hot Cheetos are ALWAYS worth it
Smith: I think we all knew Meyhu would win tonight…or, well, expected him to anyway…but that was a bit shorter than I imagined
Hood: Just like a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos…gone too soon
Smith: Right…well, we’ve got a lot to cover still…so, let’s head backstage!
~ The camera fades backstage and you see Curt Canon walking backstage. He seems to be looking for Checkers as he just looked underneath the table cloth. ~
Curt Canon: "Checkers … where are you hiding?”
~ Canon opens up a door and sticks his head inside the door as he says … ~
Curt Canon: "Are you in there Checkers?”
~ You hear a few females scream. Obviously, it was the ladies bathroom as Curt pulls his head out as soon as he can. ~
Curt Canon: "Sorry I swear I didn’t see anything. I didn’t see that pink g-string or anything else for that matter.”
~ Curt continues his search as he checks in between the vending machine and soda machine. A tap on Curt’s shoulder and as he turns around Who’Re winks at Canon. ~
Curt Canon: "Who’Re you are great at your job. Where can Checkers be hiding? Maybe he is in the cafeteria munching on some nana’s...”
~ As Curt walks into the cafeteria he gets cracked on the skull by a shillelagh. Canon grabs at his head before he gets pushed into the closest table. As Curt is on the floor you see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell standing over him with a shillelagh in his hand.~
CJ O’Donnell: “Curt, I have waited patiently for over two weeks for an answer. You made me take matters into my own hands. You have no one to blame for this but yourself. You call yourself a legend yet you lose to men like Rebel. Pathetic just like you were on OCW Survivor. Maybe this got your attention now that I am not playing around anymore. I told you I am the legend killer here in the OCW.”
~ CJ walks out of the cafeteria and into the hallway as Checkers comes out of the kitchen with a banana in his grasp. He drops the nana as soon as he sees Canon on the floor and goes to his side. He picks up Curt’s head and begins to rub it. ~
Smith: What a deplorable act! This man just walks around backstage as though he owns the place
Hood: Well, look at his record…he kinda does
Smith: It’s sickening…maybe Curt doesn’t WANT to wrestle CJ…maybe Curt has other plans in mind…the world does not revolved around CJ O’Donnell
Hood: The world may not, but OCW sure as hell does…hell, OCW’s #1 fan called him the HEART of OCW
Smith: I don’t think he ever said that
Hood: Well, I mean it was implied
Smith: Right…
~ The camera goes backstage and you see are inside the locker room again. You see Levi Russow, Josie Barnes, and Lukas Emery. There is a knock on the door as Russow is closest to the door so he opens it. He brings in a box of chocolates shaped in a heart with a note attached to it. ~
Josie Barnes: "You really are raising the bar, Lukas."
Lukas Emery: "It wasn't me."
~ Josie looks at Lukas and decides to open the note which says ... ~
~ Barnes and Emery just look at each other while Russow is scrolling through his phone. ~
Levi Russow: Can I have a piece of chocolate?"
Josie Barnes: "Sure."
~ Barnes opens the box of chocolates as Levi goes for the cherry filled one. ~
Lukas Emery: "Any idea who this Casanova is?"
Josie Barnes: "Not in the slightest."
~ You go back to ringside where Hood and Smith are standing by.~
Smith: Josie Barnes is the most ‘in demand’ female on our roster…she’s now got a secret admirer!
Hood: Well, she did receive that rose like a year ago
Smith: That was only a few weeks ago, Hood
Hood: Feels like a year
Smith: She’s sweet, talented and attractive…who wouldn’t want to get to know Josie Barnes?
Hood: PKA
Smith: Hmm, might have a point there…she’s got a big match against PKA and it’s next!
Josie Barnes (4-2) vs. PKA (1-1)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match up is scheduled for one fall!!
~Suddenly "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit hits the PA System and out from the curtain emerges the Ultraviolent Perfectionist - "Grade A" PKA, dressed in all black. A black vest over a shirtless top accompanied by black shorts, boots, and wrist bands. He snarls as he confidently walks down the aisle and slides into the ring. PKA climbs up the turnbuckle and puts his arms out in a crucifix as the fans watch his every move. The camera focuses in on his black hair, his face, his black eyeliner, the intensity in PKA's eyes. He hops off the turnbuckle and he hits the opposite corner to do another pose, arms out in a crucifix. After soaking in the fans' reaction, he hops off the turnbuckle and his music fades out~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Wichita, Kansas…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 200lbs…PKA!!!
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment begins to play. The crowd rises to their feet in support of one of the fastest rising OCW wrestlers, in terms of popularity…Josie Barnes. She emerges, looking a little down on herself. The crowd breaks into “JOSIE!” chants. She starts to smile a little bit, feeling only slightly better. She makes her way down to the ring and up the steps…she stands near the ropes and releases a contrite sigh. She then steps through, ready to compete~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Lilly, Georgia…standing 5’2 and weighing in at 118lbs…Josie Barnes!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Tough week for both PKA and Barnes…Barnes lost a highly emotional match to her ‘adopted’ brother CJ O’Donnell. PKA, meanwhile, suffered a tough defeat in his first Massacre main event.
Hood: Yea, well PKA did keep Jacqui Monroe from winning…that seemed to be a big goal of his
Smith: Indeed
Hood: In fact, I’d say PKA actually won last week. So he had a great week whereas Josie…yea, not so much
Smith: It has been a rough two weeks for Josie…she’s dropped two straight matches. Both competitors would greatly benefit from a win here tonight.
~PKA and Barnes circle each other. The crowd is chanting for both wrestlers…the Josie chants overpower the PKA chants. PKA extends his hand…Josie doesn’t hesitate, she shakes it. The crowd claps with approval. They resume circling...simultaneously they lunge forward with a lock up! PKA transitions Barnes into a side headlock. She winds his arm up a few times, increasing the discomfort. Josie shoots him off…he hits the ropes…Barnes drops to the mat, PKA hops over her and hits the ropes again…Josie pops to her feet and leapfrogs PKA…he hits the ropes a third time and is nailed with a dropkick!!! PKA staggers into the ropes, nearly falling through~
Smith: Great sequence there…both wrestlers are quick, agile and eager to impress
Hood: Fuck, Josie had some ups on that leapfrog
Smith: I’d say it rivaled many of the current WNBA players
Hood: The WNBA? That’s still a thing?
Smith: Absolutely and I love it!
~PKA holds his jaw and looks over at Josie with a bit of surprise. She remains in the center of the ring with confidence. PKA nods his head, realizing he’s in for a fight. He steps away from the ropes and circles Josie for a moment. He then lunges forward and the duo lock up a second time. Again PKA hooks a side headlock. It’s déjà vu as Josie shoots him off, into the ropes. She hits the mat, he hops over…he hits the ropes a second time but hesitates…Josie goes for a leapfrog…PKA’s hesitation allows him to catch Josie in midair and drill her into the mat with a spinebuster!! The crowd applauds the move as Josie grabs her back in pain~
Smith: Nice awareness by PKA…he remembered the original sequence and lured Josie into a trap
Hood: That or she couldn’t jump as high as we gave her credit for
Smith: I’m sure she would have cleared PKA if he hadn’t hesitated
Hood: Eh, who fucking cares, really? All I know is PKA outsmarted her…men out smarting women yet again…now and forever!
Smith: I’m not sure about the second half of that statement but I will admit that PKA has far more in ring experience than Josie
~PKA grabs Josie by the hair, bringing her to a standing position. He whips her into the ropes, she bounces off and PKA catches Barnes…he manipulates her body many different way before dropping her across his knee with a tilt a whirl backbreaker!! Josie arches her back in pain, letting out a slight shrill of pain. PKA looks down at Josie to a smattering of boos~
Smith: PKA is a good guy, I think. But these fans are really fond of Josie Barnes
Hood: I don’t know why…all she does is fuck up relationships and title aspirations
Smith: I think that’s precisely WHY the fans love her…she’s ruining CJ’s plans.
Hood: These fans are so undistinguished
Smith: So, debased?
Hood: I guess
Smith: What an awful word to call our fans!
Hood: Hey! You’re the sneaky fucker who said it. I don’t even know what it means…sounds like someone eliminating part of their sound system
Smith: That’s not what it means
~PKA pulls Josie to her feet once again. He quickly transitions her into a headlock…Josie fights out of it, knowing that can lead to the P-Krusher. She yanks free and backs into the ropes. PKA, frustrated, runs in…Josie ducks and lifts him over the top rope…he lands on the apron…Josie takes a few steps forward and then jumps backwards drilling PKA in the head with a Pele Kick!!! He falls off the, landing on the outside floor. Josie also lands awkward, inside the ring, after her leg ricochets off the top rope. She appears to be fine~
Smith: I’m not sure that was the best position for her to pull off that move but, hey, it worked
Hood: Women always leap before they look!
Smith: This anti female narrative of yours is almost as bad as your Mark Storm commentary
Hood: I just realized something…you know how captains always refer to inclement weather as ‘she’?
Smith: Oh please!
~PKA returns to his feet. Josie tests her leg out…it appears to be fine. She runs into the ropes, bounces off and leaps through the ropes with a suicide dive. PKA moves and Josie falls harshly onto the floor with a loud SMACK! PKA stands over Josie and applies some stiff kicks into her torso. The fans at ringside give PKA a bit of a hard time…he just ignores them, maintaining his laser like focus on Barnes~
Smith: Josie ALMOST made a huge mistake on that Pele Kick and followed that up by making an even BIGGER mistake with that suicide dive
Hood: That’s why women shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions
Smith: Blame her gender all you want…I think it’s her lack of experience. She’s suffered two straight losses…odds are she’s second guessing her abilities
Hood: Good, maybe she’ll retire and apply to be on Hell’s Kitchen
Smith: Stop it
~PKA pulls Josie to her feet and lifts her up, over his shoulder…he drops her, face first across the apron! She starts to fall back, but PKA catches her…he hooks Josie and tosses her over his head, into the barricade with an inverted Exploder Suplex!! Josie’s legs are hanging over the barricade with her head pointed at the ground…the crowd at ringside backs away, giving her legs some space~
Smith: Reckless move by PKA…Josie could have suffered a severe injury!
Hood: So? Isn’t the point to incapacitate your opponent enough to win?
Smith: Yea
Hood: A severe injury would leave someone pretty incapacitated
~PKA grabs Josie by the hair, bringing her body parallel to the ground…her knees and thighs are resting on top of the barricade. He positions his shoulder underneath her midsection and secures her…she’s draped over his shoulder…he drills her into the floor on the outside with a quick, vicious powerslam!! The crowd doesn’t boo PKA but they definitely sound concerned for Josie. Scruff finally yells out “ONE!”~
Smith: I think we’re seeing PKA let out some steam after last week
Hood: He get cock blocked or something?
Smith: NO! I’m referring to Jacqui Monroe outlasting him in the Process of Elimination Match
Hood: Who fucking cares about that…PKA stole her nose during the match…far worse!
Smith: I can’t believe he did that to Monroe
~Scruff yells “FOUR!” PKA pulls Barnes to her feet, rolling her inside the ring. He hops onto the apron…Barnes is on her back, near the ropes. PKA leaps over the ropes and lands on top of Barnes with a senton! He then goes for a pin, Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: What heart by Josie…a true fighter!
Hood: Would you say she has a Purple Heart? I know she’s rumored to be some type of Purple VIP
Smith: A purple heart…I guess
Hood: Damn, so she’s a war veteran
Smith: Well, I think she might be a bit young for that
Hood: I don’t know…they start em pretty young these days
Smith: It’s 18, Hood…it’s always been 18…and how dare you make light of the military on Memorial Day
Hood: Memorial Day…I thought that was in September
Smith: That’s Labor Day!
Hood: Really? Those are two different days?
Smith: Stop talking
~PKA stands and pulls Barnes up…he hooks her head under his arm for P-Krusher! Josie hits PKA in the gut with a couple of left fists. PKA’s grip weakens…Josie breaks free…she shoves PKA in the chest…he staggers back…he lunges forward with a lariat…Josie ducks…PKA turns around and eats a Superkick from Josie!! He stumbles into the nearest corner as the crowd jumps to their feet chanting “JOSIE!”~
Smith: Superkick out of nowhere…what resiliency by Josie Barnes who, unfortunately, was voted out of OCW Survivor last Friday
Hood: So that would make it three straight losses for Barnes
Smith: In a way, sure
Hood: Man, she loses at everything!
Smith: Hey…she still has a very good record in OCW and could very well pull this match out
~PKA rises out of the corner…he puts his hands up, but we can tell he’s quite dazed. He throws a punch at Josie…she ducks it. He throws another, she ducks that. He takes a wild swings…she ducks a third time! He staggers forward…turns around and EATS another super kick from Barnes!! This time he falls to the mat as Josie hurries for the corner~
Smith: Uh oh…this could be it
Hood: Damnit, c’mon PKA…get up!
Smith: That’s two vicious superkicks in a row…I don’t see how he gets up
Hood: If Michael Myers can do it…so can you!
Smith: High praise
~Josie reaches the top of the nearest corner. She looks down at PKA. She doesn’t waste time…she leaps off and nails PKA with Figher’s End!!! She goes for the cover, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…JOSIE BARNES!!!!!
Smith: She did it!! Way to go, Josie! Way to bounce back!
Hood: Ugh…this PKA guy, man…he can’t seem to get it going
Smith: Well, in his defense…Josie is a heck of a talent…HECK OF A TALENT
Hood: Calm down, Smith…those look like new pants
Smith: They are, thanks for noticing…I got them at
Hood: Geezus, you really think I give a fuck?
Smith: Sad face
Hood: Fuck you and your sad face
Smith: Well folks…we just saw Josie earn a great, much needed win. Now…
~Barnes gets to her feet, holding the back of her neck after the victory bell rings. She smiles gently as the crowd cheers for her, which prompts her to release her neck and raise both of her arms into the sky. As she starts to head for the ropes, the crowd begins to boo loudly. It is not until the camera pans back that the culprit of the jeering is revealed. Taking Josie away from the ropes, and into a mean right hook, a masked individual hovers over the fallen victor. They don't pay any mind to the response they're getting as they continue to stomp away at Barnes. She manages to escape under the ropes, but it doesn't protect her for long. The masked person follows her out and brings her to her feet. Taking her by the back of her head, entangling their fingers into her hair, they rush forward and force her into the ring steps. The sickening noise and the eerie bounce shocks the crowd, as noted by the recoil by the front row fans.~
Smith: What a horrible noise! Who the hell is attacking Barnes right now?
Hood: That's the point of the mask, dumbass.
Smith: That's not what I'm getting at! What's the meaning behind this?! They're not done!
~The masked person brings Barnes to her feet and drags her to the steel ramp. Tucking her down, the person heaves her up and down into the steel with a thunderous powerbomb. She sprawls out on the cold steel, while the masked person stares down. Seemingly satisfied, they walk back up the ramp, leaving the camera to train on the victim.~
Smith: Why? WHY? That young girl just won a huge match and then THIS happens
Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY
Smith: Who is THIS masked individual
Hood: Well it isn’t Chad Vargas…we know that
Smith: Do we?
Hood: Hell yea, he’s entangled with Julliet Brooks…this is some other masked man
Smith: People should just stop selling masks!
Hood: Like that would prevent masked men…then you’d have ‘sheathed’ men or ‘veiled’ men…or something like that
Smith: So…let’s see…we’ve got the hooded figure who has been making Meyhu’s life a living hell…we had a masked man who was revealed to be Rick Mad who was then revealed to be Chad Vargas…and now we have another masked man…holy hamburgers!
Hood: You’re looking at this thing with too broad a scope. Some masked fucker just beat the shit out of Josie Barnes making him…a hero in my book.
Smith: A true villain in anyone else’s…well folks, that was upsetting…let’s hope Josie Barnes is okay…let’s head backstage as we’ve got two matches and left and, well, they are setting up to be intense!
~ You go backstage and you see “The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell still walking around with the shillelagh in his hands. He passes OCW referee Scruff. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Have you seen Checkers?”
~ Scruff doesn’t answer him inside he just looks at him with a confused look on his face. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “You are fucking pathetic. Where can that monkey be hiding?”
~ Just then CJ looks down and sees a banana peel on the floor right out in front of the boiler room. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “This is like taking candy from a baby.”
~ CJ opens the door and sees a bunch of banana peels in the center of the room. He looks around for Checkers but does not see any sign of that monkey. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “So the evidence is here that Checkers was in this room but where the hell is -”
~ Checkers leaps off of the boiler room and connects with a dropkick that sends CJ to the concrete floor. The shillelagh goes flying and Checkers begins to clap his hands as he has outsmarted The Distinguished One. CJ looks like he is about to get to his feet as Checkers goes charging and headbutts him directly into the groin. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “Son of a monkey ..”
~ Checkers then open hands slaps CJ while he is falling backward. Checkers then picks up the shillelagh and exits the Boiler Room with CJ’s weapon of choice. CJ is taking deep breathes in and out trying to remain his composure as he is still seeing stars from the low blow. ~
CJ O’Donnell: “I am gonna kill that monkey!”
~ You go back to Smith and Hood at ringside as CJ is grabbing his crotch area. ~
Smith: CJ is unsettlingly enamored with Checkers
Hood: Who do you think he’d rather fuck…Checkers or Alice?
Smith: I refuse to answer such a hideous question
Hood: He seems to want both
Smith: I think Checkers represents what he hates in wrestling. CJ is about the seriousness of combat…about the drama…the competition. Checkers, well, I like Checkers but…let’s be honest…he’s not something to be taken too seriously
Hood: Try telling that to CJ’s balls…both of them!
Smith: I will not be speaking to any portion of CJ’s anatomy
Hood: You must be so disappointed
Smith: Whatever…anyway…
~The arena goes dark and "The Mutiny" flashes on the screen. Red strobe lights fill the arena and The Lockwood Party make their way through the crowd, followed by Bob Grenier. Underneath the leather jackets they wear are the "Alice Knight Retirement Tour 2017" T-Shirts. They hand t-shirts out to the crowd and most of them are thrown back. The crowd roars with disapproval as Bob jaws back and forth with members of the audience. The Mutiny enters the ring and Bob is given a microphone. He taps it twice saying it "better be on" while looking at the time keeper at ringside.~
Bob: I'd like to bring attention to the fact that Alice Knight is a complete and utter fraud! She is a liar and tonight, We continue to expose her! Choads in the truck.. Please give me exhibit A!!
~A clearly doctored photo is shown. This is of Alice Knight at a Dressy Bessy concert, snorting cocaine. The next picture shows her crowd surfing at the same concert. A very blurred video is shown of some girl on a plane doing a striptease for members of the band. Bob claims that this is also Alice~
Bob: Now you've seen my proof! But you are all a bunch of fucking morons who need to be spoon fed every little detail so I bet you're all asking, Bob.. What does this mean? So.. Ladies and gentleman, Exhibit B! The REAL Dr. Punta!
~An Indian doctor makes his way down the aisle slowly. He looks nothing like last week’s Dr. Punta. He slaps some high fives with fans and climbs into the ring. Bob scolds him~
Bob: I didn't bring you here to fucking socialize Punta! First tell the idiots where it is that you attained your medical degree.
Real Punta: Mr Bob, I got my degree in Bangladesh. Then I moved to America and did my residency at Cedars Cinea..
Bob: I don't want your life story Punta! So you were the first Dr. Alice Knight saw?
Real Punta: Yes, The other Dr. Punta is a quack.
Bob: Dr. Punta, Should a woman who has the lingering effects of 11 supposed concussions be flying, and getting drunk on the plane while taking off all her clothes and generally acting like a groupie slut?
Real Punta: No. That would be dangerous behavior.
Bob: Should a woman with 11 concussions be snorting cocaine and crowd surfing?
Real Punta: No, She should not.
Bob: When you treated Alice Knight for said "concussions" what was your diagnosis?
Real Punta: Alice Knight is suffering no effects of any head injury Mr. Bob. I cleared her to wrestle. She wanted a 2nd opinion and it was wrong. It is my professional opinion that Alice Knight is 100% able to compete.
Bob: OK Punta, We're done here.
~Bob pushes him through the ropes and he hits the floor hard before scurrying off. The crowd boos relentlessly~
Bob: Alice Knight is a liar. Gaining your sympathy through a web of lies. Through fake head injuries and bogus claims of retirement. That was never her plan. Alice Knight is a gypsy, coming and going as she pleases, Stealing your hard earned money! Stealing your precious time! We don't have much time in this life, I wish I had every minute of it back that I spent listening to this woman, Seeing her on my television screen and so should all of you. She's a character, Just a gimmick. Nothing more. She is taking the spot of real wrestlers in this company, Guys who could use a break, Guys who could use a rub.. Guys who deserve a higher spot on the card.. Guys like PKA..Other girls like Josie Barnes.. Guys like Levi Russow..
~The crowd cheers at the mention of Levi's name~
Bob: But of course we can always count on the great Alice Knight to show up just in the nick of time and steal herself a spot after being "injured". So last week yes, I felt the need to intervene on behalf of everyone back there grinding, Every wrestler back there coming out here week after week who has to worry about some hack showing up out of the blue.
~The crowd boo's these words. A loud "We Want Alice" chant breaks out~
Bob: Every single time you buy an Alice Knight t-shirt, You're being ripped off by a corporate machine. Alice Knight is getting rich off the fact that you are all gullible pieces of shit. Luckily for all of you and for the sake of this company we are holding steady on the road of The Alice Knight Retirement Tour! The tour ends at Stainless Steel Ride when The Mutiny strips away everything that Alice knows and loves. Her career is over. She is in the twilight of an unacceptable, uneventful run. Alice will retire a nobody. As far as I'm concerned, Alice needs be stricken from the record books. She was never a champion. She doesn't and never had the championship spir..
~The huge "WE WANT ALICE" chant grows louder, Stopping Bob mid-sentence. He looks pretty agitated and The Lockwood Party covers his ears while he stomps his feet like a little bitch. He puts one of the t-shirts over his head to block out the noise~
Bob: SHUT THE FUCK UP! ALL OF YOU! She's "not cleared" weren't you dipshits watching earlier? I am going to end that woman!
~The we want Alice chants grow louder and louder, drowning out Bob's incessant whining. All of a sudden Dressy Blessy blasts through the arena and the crowd explodes! Showing no fear, Alice climbs into the ring and goes face to face with The Mutiny. Bob wants to hit her but The Lockwood Party holds him back while whispering to him. Alice is handed a microphone. She takes the shirt off of Bob's head and puts it over her shoulder~
Alice: I was hoping I could get one of these retirement tour t-shirts! These are really cool! I mean they are no 'Owl Is Night' shirts, but I do like the font design on them. Is that Times New Roman Bold? Faaaaaancy.
~The crowd erupts and Bob looks very irritated as The Lockwood Party stands between them~
Bob: You must be suffering from multiple concussions girl, because nobody of sound body and mind would step into this ring with us and mouth off like you are!
Alice: I may not be the smartest girl, wealthiest girl or best in the ring... girl.. but I know that over the years I have become what I think is a pretty decent wrestler and unlike you, I have a ton of fans and I know a lot about Owls and Owl conservation efforts and stuff. About those pictures... they have been doctored. Sure I was at Dressy Bessy not too long ago... but it wasn't cocaine i was snorting... just powdered sugar. DUH! While the plane thing has happened in my past. Too many times to be honest. I haven't been able to afford a plane ride in months. Like hell, I don't get what your issue is with me Bob. I used to think you were pretty cool to be honest. Well for a Canadian. I mean I know you're still a little bitter that I beat you and PerZiggyZag for the OCW Championship a few months ago. But If you want the match at Stainless Steel Ride, You got it. The Doctors have told me I shouldn't wrestle. But I will wear a darn tootin' football helmet or bicycle helmet in the match if i have too. But i'm doing this for the Owl's, not for you. Not for me... not even for the fans... wait... yes... the Owls. The Fans. Whatever.
~The crowd explodes again and an "Owl Is Night" breaks out~
Alice: For what you did last week. I am going to use everything in my power to get my hands on all 3 of you.
~The Lockwood Party has been keeping the peace between Bob and Alice until this point. When she says that, The Lockwood Party turns around and faces her. Bob holds them back this time. He winks at them~
Bob: Alice, I'm a nice guy. Fair and honest...
~The crowd boos~
Bob: So seeing as you are so "concussed" .. Which I'm still not buying by the way! I say you get your wish. Next week on this program you will face The Lockwood Party in a handicap match, Should you win, Should you come out of that match without getting your head ripped clean off your shoulders I will let you pick an opponent for me in two weeks AND you choose the stipulation at Stainless Steel Ride!
~Alice nods in approval and she stares off with The Lockwood Party and Bob off to the side laughing and muttering something along the lines of "dumb bitch". He motions for them to leave as the arena goes dark and the strobe lights flash again. The Mutiny exits through the crowd. When the lights come back on Alice looks at the mic lying on the mat, she looks to the mic and the crowd once more. They cheer each time she does. She picks it up~
Alice: You got it Bobby. I will take on your Lookwell Party goers if I must. But remember this. The Alice Knight Retirement Tour 2017 comes to an end... and the um, Bobby Grenier Is a Dumb-Dumb Idiot Convention, which is a year round thing to be honest, but that begins tonight!!!! Oh stings don't it? I'll see you boys next week.
~”Electrified” by Dressy Bessy hits. The crowd gives Alice a huge ovation. She’s clearly frustrated. She hands the mic outside the ring, to Belvedere and exits. The fans shout encouraging words and a few ‘hoots’ in her direction. She smiles…but it isn’t enough to turn her mood around. She disappears behind the curtain…we focus on Smith and Hood as Alice’s music comes to an end~
Smith: Strong words from Bob Grenier…I think he means every word he’s saying
Hood: I knew Alice Knight was no accountant…but, fuck…she’s already stripping for cash?
Smith: She’s not stripping…that was dancing…and, well, that wasn’t even her…so stop with your innuendos
Hood: Did she buy a used RV or something and then lose it
Smith: How does a person LOSE an RV?
Hood: I don’t know, ask Alice…she’s your pen pal, right?
Smith: Email buddy
Hood: Whatever
Smith: And, I will…I’m sure whatever vehicle she owns is safe and sound! I just hope the same can be said of Alice next week after her match…I might need to send my email buddy a message later tonight!
Hood: You go ahead and do that
Smith: I will! Anyway…CJ O’Donnell and Jacqui Monroe are scheduled to compete in a few moments…before we get to that…I’m told the one and only Julliet Brooks is standing by with a HUGE announcement
~We cut backstage where Who’Re is standing by with Julliet Brooks~
Who're: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome my guest Julliet Brooks.
Julliet Brooks: Thanks for having me, who're is it?
~She looked around and raised an eyebrow~
Who're: Yes. Now if I may I'd like to ask how you are feeling after being attacked yet again last week
Julliet Brooks: There's no other emotion that I'm feeling other than angry, but at least the pussy decided to show his face which was revealed to be Chad Vargas. I'm not sure what I was surprised about.. the fact that it was him, or the words that came spewing out of his mouth. What a disgusting piece of trash you are, Chad.
~She held out her fists to the camera~
Julliet Brooks: You see these fists? Your actions and words out there were the reason why I've been punching walls wishing it was your face, but soon at Stainless Steel Ride I'll get exactly what I want.
Who're: Mr. Welsh has allowed you to hand pick the type of match you will have against Chad Vargas, so have you decided on what that may be
~A smirk crept over her face then she chuckled~
Julliet Brooks: I'm glad you asked, because I was just about to get to that. You see we can go the traditional route and wrestle in a normal singles match, but that's boring, so I went to the deepest, darkest part of my mind and then it hit me.. why not have a three levels of hardcore match.
Who're: Care to explain what that is?
Julliet Brooks: I'm not going to go into too much detail, but let's just say it involves ladders, tables, chairs, light tube ropes, bed of nails and concrete blocks. Whether he's ready, or not he's going to be put through so much hell and agony that he's going to come out looking unrecognizable. Chad, if you're listening.. you created this mess and now it's time for me to end this. See you in the gates of hell.
~She storms away leaving Who're to stand there. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Yes! I love the fire and passion of Julliet Brooks
Hood: That’s great…but I question her sanity…I mean, seriously? Chad Vargas is going to MURDER her
Smith: Well, how convenient for him, considering we’ll already be inside a prison
Hood: I hear that if a free man murders someone inside a prison it doesn’t really count…it, like, cancels out or something
Smith: Doubtful…but this Julliet Brooks/Chad Vargas match could…and I hate this phrase…but I’m going to use it because it’s late and I’m tired…it could STEAL THE SHOW
Hood: Ugh, steal the show…gag
Smith: Yes, I know…but the point is this match is likely to be one of if not the BEST match at Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: I’m certainly looking forward to it…be nice to see Vargas put Brooks in her place
Smith: Yea, right…well folks…we’ve just heard some major announcements from some of wrestling’s biggest names. And, now, we turn to a match featuring to huge names in the industry as CJ O’Donnell continues to test himself against the ultra-aggressive Jacqui Monroe. Let’s head down to ringside!
”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell (12-1) vs. Jacqui Monroe (4-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
~Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' blares through the speakers, as Jacqui M appears on the platform, devil horns already in the air. As she begins to walk down the entrance way, the blonde allows herself a moment to head bang to her entrance tune, before making her way down to the ring. She enters it without much of a fuss, sheds her leather jacket, and waits for her opponent, CJ O’Donnell~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 130lbs…Jacqui Monroe!!!
~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The fans boo loudly. CJ tears through the curtain. His OCW Tag Team Title is around his waist. He stands atop the ramp and beats his chest, screaming as loud as he can. The man is visceral, feral…he’s feeling stronger than he ever has. CJ power marches down the ramp staring at Monroe. He hops onto the apron and forces his way between the ropes~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions…”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!
~CJ removes his tag title and tosses it at Belvedere without looking his way. Belvedere, always the professional, catches it without any sort of misstep. Belvedere exits the ring as the bell sounds~
Smith: Nobody in OCW is hotter than CJ O’Donnell
Hood: He’s like Hansel!
Smith: Huh?
Hood: He’s so hot right now!
~Monroe looks across the ring at CJ…her head is lowered so her eyesight travels across her brow. CJ cracks an arrogant half smile. He motions for Monroe to come at him, remembering how she came sprinting out of the proverbial gate one week earlier against PKA. Monroe shakes her head, declining the offer. The impulsive CJ nods saying, “Okay, alright.” He charges forward…Monroe moves and CJ stops just short of the corner. Monroe, near the ropes, grabs the top rope and swings her legs through…she kicks the back of the top buckle and, in turn, smacks CJ in the face!! CJ staggers back, shaking his head in shock. Monroe faces CJ and takes him down with a spear!! The crowd goes wild as she unleashes a flurry of punches into CJ’s head~
Smith: I think CJ underestimated the acumen of Jacqui Monroe!
Hood: Fuck…she did sucker him in…that’s okay, CJ will rise above this
Smith: He has the ability but you have to wonder if the weeks of constant competition might be taking their toll.
Hood: For most people, yes. For CJ…absolutely not, he is no ordinary O’Donnell!
~Monroe continues pummeling CJ much to the crowd’s delight. CJ gets a knee up, kicking Monroe off…she tumbles over her head, safely and gets to one knee. CJ sits up with his back to Monroe, dazed. Monroe stands and runs in with a penalty kick into CJ’s back!! His shoulders rise up as his face grimaces…Monroe rides her momentum into the ropes, she bounces off and delivers a second penalty kick, this time into CJ’s face!! CJ’s back smacks into the mat as his motions slow~
Smith: That second kick took a lot out of CJ O’Donnell
Hood: Ya think? She kicked him right in the face
Smith: I’m just saying…he looks hurt
Hood: That tends to happen to a person who is…ya know, kicked IN THE FACE
Smith: Okay, I get it
~Monroe heads for the nearest corner. CJ is still on his back, blinking rapidly…his brain seems to be short circuiting. Monroe reaches the middle buckle and she leaps off with a guillotine leg drop across the throat and chest of CJ!! She pops back to her feet in a crazed manner….the crowd is firmly behind her, believing she can terminate CJ’s win streak~
Smith: CJ O’Donnell has barreled over several big name OCW stars in the past month...these OCW fans are sick of it.
Hood: Yea, well, I think Jacqui would have a better shot if her tag partner hadn’t run off
Smith: Kenshin is a man of propriety…he left for his own reasons
Hood: He wanted to retire the tag titles!
Smith: Well, yea, he did say that
~Jacqui pulls CJ to a kneeling position. She stands over him and throws a kick into his chest! The crowd yells ‘ONE!’ She throws another and another and another…she kicks him over and over as though she were trying to obliterate his giant, hideous chest tattoo. The crowd, counting along yells “TWELVE!” She’s about to throw number thirteen, but stops. CJ wobbles side to side…Jacqui grabs his arm and seamlessly locks in an armbar!! CJ starts to flail around in pain as his shoulder is being pulled to its structural limit~
Smith: Jacqui with an armbar!! Normally I’d diffuse any burning notion that CJ might tap out to an armbar but after what’s already happened…I won’t rule it out
Hood: He’s not going to tap out to a fucking arm bar…geezus, let’s get real
Smith: Then why would she apply it, huh?
Hood: I don’t have a fucking clue. Why do people apply head locks and sleepers? I don’t think a person has tapped out to one of those in about fifty years
Smith: You never know
Hood: If anybody taps out to a mother fucking head lock they should be shot
~Shootah cowers backstage hoping he’s never placed inside a headlock. Back to the match, CJ looks to his side, spotting the ropes. He works his legs toward them, finding that method of alleviation easiest. Jacqui is thrashing around, doing whatever she can to rip his shoulder apart. Judging by CJ’s face, he’s in a ton of pain. Scruff keeps asking if CJ wants to give it up…he refuses to respond, making it clear he’s going to fight through. Finally, his left heel lands atop the bottom rope. The crowd boos as Scruff forces the break. Monroe holds on through the full five count before releasing. CJ quickly grabs his shoulder and rolls under the bottom rope to get away from Monroe. He remains laying atop the apron~
Smith: It’s relatively early in this match and CJ is already suffering some major damage
Hood: Jacqui Monroe is like a human piranha…nasty, angry…I bet she’s got a bunch of sharp looking teeth too
Smith: I’m sure her teeth look normal
Hood: I don’t know about that…I bet they are like shark teeth!
Smith: Well, if that’s the case, I hope she doesn’t bite anyone
~Monroe pops to her feet and sprints toward the ropes…she bounces off and charges at CJ. He sits up!! She spots his aversion and is able to pull up. CJ rolls off the apron to a chorus of boos. He looks over his shoulder at Jacqui with disgust. He leans against the barricade, slowly rotating his afflicted shoulder. Jacqui sprints into the ropes again…she bounces off and runs toward the side of the ring nearest CJ…she dives through the ropes with a Suicide Dive…CJ catches her using his good shoulder!! He then charges forward and SLAMS the lower portion of Jacqui’s back into the apron!! Monroe grimaces in pain as CJ lets go…she falls to her knees before bracing her upper body with one arm…the other reaches for her back~
Smith: Monroe is so eager to dish out punishment that, I think she miscalculated CJ’s awareness
Hood: That or CJ is just too fucking good
Smith: He’s good…but nobody is that good
Hood: Matt Meyhu says hello!
Smith: We’ll see about that at Stainless Steel Ride
~CJ works the shoulder, he left one. It appears to be loosening. A scowl comes over his face – he’s furious. He grabs Jacqui by her long, stringy, wet blonde hair. He knees her in the sternum as she’s bent over. Her upper torso heaves into the air with her feet leaving the ground a few inches. She comes back down, trying to drop to a knee, coughing…CJ’s grip of her hair keeps Monroe from falling to the more comfortable position. He immediately hooks her head under his arm and drops her with a DDT on the outside. The fans boo~
Smith: This doesn’t look good for Jacqui…she got off to a quick start but with CJ in control…bad things could happen
Hood: Yea, it’s kind of like when you walk into the WRONG sex club and they start strapping you down…
Smith: SCUSE ME?
Hood: Oh, we weren’t…nevermind.
~Scruff yells out “ONE!” CJ shakes his head ‘no’ and hops onto the apron. He grabs Scruff by the collar and disrupts the count. He shoves Scruff back, nearly to the mat. The fans boo and yell “Disqualify Him!” but Scruff just stands there, taking it. CJ hops off the apron and stands over Jacqui. He lunges for the back of the neck, grabbing it like an angry owner would their small, helpless dog. He shoves Jacqui forward, into the barricade. She manages to extend her hands, keeping her head from slamming first. She turns around and is met with a straight right hand into the jaw. She slumps over the barricade. CJ grabs her legs…he hoists her over his right shoulder and drops her across the barricade with snake eyes! Monroe falls to the floor, holding her face in pain. Fans at ringside reach out and try to hit and slap CJ…he nonchalantly shoves them back~
Smith: This crowd is rabid…they HATE CJ O’Donnell
Hood: That’s because they have no taste. I heard they put ketchup on their steak!
Smith: They do not!
Hood: Mmmhmmm…but that’s not the worst part
Smith: How could anything be worse than ketchup on a steak?
Hood: You ready? They use…OFF BRAND ketchup
Smith: Dear Lord
~The fans are persistent. One fan, in particular throws what remains of his coke at CJ, splashing him in the face. CJ’s carefree demeanor leaves. He looks at the fan with brown, sticky liquid slowly sliding down his chin. The fan points and laughs, “He’s got brown jizz on his chin! LOOK!” CJ reaches forward and decks the fan in the face, knocking him out. He decks his friends knocking them out…the fans surrounding them all rush out of the way. He grabs Monroe…he hoists her over his head and tosses her into the crowd, on top of the pummeled fans. Scruff slides out of the ring to check on the fans and Jacqui. CJ untucks the back of Scruff’s ref shirt and uses it to wipe his face clean~
Smith: These fans have to remember that anything can happen at ringside.
Hood: Stupid ass fans got what they deserved!
Smith: It is regrettable but these are testosterone fueled athletes who are in the midst of competition...violent reactions are likely to occur
Hood: Dude, if some guy got doused with a half drank soda and DIDN’T punch the fuck out of the person who threw it…well, they should jump off a bridge or run with scissors down a road…covered with marbles
Smith: Fans, don’t listen to my colleague. It’s okay to avoid violence!
~CJ turns his back to the crowd. As he does, in the background a blonde head emerges with hair covering most of the face…it’s Monroe! She climbs atop the barricade. The crowd goes wild when they see her rise up. CJ’s puzzled…he turns and faces Monroe…it’s too late…she leaps off, wrapping her legs around his head…she tosses him face first into the edge of the apron with a hurricanrana!! The crowd goes wild…Scruff stands back in shock. Jacqui, still in a ton of pain, remains down~
Smith: What a move! How did she come back so quickly?
Hood: She’s a fucking psycho! Geezus…I feel bad for any guy whoever fucked her over
Smith: PKA?
Hood: That guy needs to take every week Jacqui Monroe is booked, off
Smith: That’s not very competitive
Hood: Neither is a corpse
~Monroe reaches her feet…CJ is slowly beginning to move. Monroe yanks on his hair, dragging him to his feet. She throws him into the ring, under the bottom rope. CJ rolls near the center, slowly rising to his feet. Monroe climbs onto the apron…she waits for CJ to reach his feet…he does…she hops onto the top rope and leaps off…she wraps her legs around CJ’s head, looking for a second consecutive hurricanrana…CJ, though, holds on!! He quickly transitions into a Boston Crab!! The crowd boos loudly as Jacqui grimaces in pain…she rips and pulls at her hair to keep from tapping out. Her back is torqued farther back than it seems like it should be able to bend. CJ leans back, applying more pressure…Scruff slides in, asking Monroe is she wants to quit. A very demonstrative ‘NO!’ is heard by pretty much everyone in the arena~
Smith: No way she submits…she will pass out before she gives up
Hood: Hate it when chicks pass out on me
Smith: Happen to you a lot?
Hood: What are you insinuating?
Smith: That you are a boring conversationalist
Hood: Oh, okay…that beats the alternative
~Monroe starts to crawl for the ropes…inching closer and closer. CJ senses his position shifting. He glances over his shoulder, spotting Monroe’s hands grazing the ropes. He stands and drags her back toward the center of the ring. The fans boo loudly as Monroe slams her forehead into the mat out of frustration. She claws at her hair…she pulls at her ear…she does whatever she can to assuage the pain. CJ yells “ASK HER!” Scruff asks…Jacqui continue to decline~
Smith: I’m not sure how much further her back can bend before breaking
Hood: I have it on good authority that a broken back is serious
Smith: I can’t take umbrage with that comment…even if it seems like the most obvious statement ever made
Hood: No, the most obvious statement ever made during pro wrestling commentary would be something like “this is a wrestling show!”
~Monroe tries rising up with her hands…it doesn’t do much. CJ’s lean exerts more force on her legs which, in turn, applies increasing strain on her back. She senses CJ leaning back…she reaches up with her hands and finds his face. He tries to pull away but she fish hooks both sides of his mouth…CJ yells in pain, very much to the crowd’s delight. She pulls back, threatening to rip both sides wide open. CJ, realizing the risk currently outweighs the reward of his current submission attempt releases the hold~
Smith: Even a veteran can, apparently, learn a new trick…PKA fish hooked Jacqui last week…this week, she pays it forward to CJ O’Donnell
Hood: Women are ruthless, man. If they aren’t trying to kick you in the dick then they are scratching at your eyes, pulling on your mouth…man, they fight like girls!
Smith: Well…
~Jacqui gets to her feet…the crowd is amazed at her tolerance for pain. She’s still got CJ fish hooked. She pulls the back of CJ’s head down onto her shoulder…he’s hesitant to do anything, afraid it might tear his cheek open. She drops down, snapping CJ’s neck with a neck breaker! CJ grabs his neck in pain. Jacqui sits up, having released the fish hook after the move. She frowns, looking at her hands…she wipes CJ’s saliva onto the canvas~
Smith: The adrenaline must be at an all-time high for Monroe…her back isn’t showing any lingering effects from that Boston crab
Hood: And CJ is FROM Boston…he should be ashamed. SHAME!
Smith: Nobody deserves to be shamed
Hood: SHAME
~Monroe stands…CJ is already returning to his feet, showing the stamina and determination that has allowed him to accumulate his amazing OCW record. Monroe sprints at CJ…he catches Monroe…he drops her across his knee with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!! Monroe lets out a shrill that could shatter glass. She reaches for her back in immense pain. CJ remains on one knee, he looks down at Monroe while working his neck, loosening the muscles. He smiles~
Smith: What a wretched man
Hood: I don’t know, maybe he just thought of something funny…people smile for different reasons, Smith
Smith: He’s smiling at her pain
Hood: Maybe…or mayyyyybe he watched a South Park marathon last night
~CJ grabs Monroe by the hair…he gets to both feet and forces Monroe into a kneeling position. CJ throws a kick into her chest…it hits with a smack/thud. He delivers another…and another…we see sweat fly with each impact. He kicks her again and again…the crowd boos with each kick. Finally, he swings his leg at her head, drilling Monroe in the face with a roundhouse kick!! Monroe falls to the mat. CJ goes for a pin, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close…but not quite. It could be the beginning of the end, however
Hood: CJ is so impressive…I think he could win Mayor of Key West!
Smith: In this political climate, I wouldn’t rule ANYTHING out
~CJ tosses his hand dismissively at Scruff. He reaches his feet, pointing at his knee. The crowd boos. Monroe rolls onto her stomach. She does a weak push up…it doesn’t last, she falls back onto her face. CJ rolls his eyes, growing impatient. He steps forward and places his foot under Monroe’s chin, helping her up. The crowd boos even louder~
Smith: What a jerk!
Hood: What are you talking about? He’s helping this old woman to her feet
Smith: She’s not THAT old
Hood: She looks ancient to me…must be that candy only diet she lived off of while in Japan
Smith: Oh, so you did some research
Hood: I had to find out what pocky or pokey or whatever the fuck was
~Monroe gets to one knee…CJ crouches down, ready to unleash Irish Knowledge. Monroe reaches her feet…as she does, she staggers back, into a corner. Her back…her body is damaged. She stands out of the corner, staggering. CJ sprints in…he leaps into the air with Irish Knowledge! Monroe ducks! She drops to her knees! CJ’s knee SLAMS into the top buckle. Monroe pops to her feet…she turns CJ around…he limps while making the turn…his knee is bent in pain. She kicks him in the gut, grabs his head, underhooks his arm and drops him, face first into the mat with Drop Dead Gorgeous!!!! The crowd goes wild! Monroe rolls CJ over, Scruff slides in for the count~
Smith: DROP DEAD GORGEOUS? I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS
Hood: Mother fucker! Kick out, CJ…kick out!!
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The fans in the OCW Arena leap to their feet. Jacqui rolls off of CJ’s body, exhausted…the bell sounds~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…JACQUI MONROE!!!!!
Smith: She did it!!
Hood: This fucking sucks
Smith: She sprinkled a bit of rust on the Iron Man!
Hood: CJ is gonna be pissed…Monroe had better go into the witness protection program
Smith: I don’t think she needs anybody’s help in protection…she just showed tonight that she is legitimate!
Hood: It was a fluke! You put these two in ten straight matches, CJ wins nine
Smith: Yea, I don’t think so, Hood
Hood: Well you know nothing Jon Smith!
Smith: My first name isn’t Jon! What a huge win for Jacqui Monroe…that win immediately vaults her into the upper echelon of OCW. Last week we saw Levi make massive waves…this week, Jacqui Monroe
Hood: I think I read a rumor that CJ had the flu AND appendicitis. I can’t believe he went out there and competed with those ailments. I think he should be given the vacant OCW Title
Smith: No…folks, we’ve just witnessed one of the biggest upsets of 2017. Let it soak in for a moment before our main event…and, while it does…let’s head backstage!
~In a dimly lit room sits Iggy Hardy. He fidgets around looking back and forth. When he feels like nobody is looking, he pulls his crucifix from his neck and takes a haul up his nose from his stash. Before he can twist the cap back on the door flies open and in walks two suited men.~
Iggy: Hello, gents.
~The men take a seat across from Iggy. Iggy sniffles, a touch nervous.~
Iggy: To what do I owe this pleasure?
Man #1: Cut the bullshit. I’m Detective Anderson, that’s Detective Fuhrman.
Detective Fuhrman: You realize that is a double sided mirror window right? We just watched you ingest a white substance up your nose.
~Iggy looks at the two detectives as if to say, “yeah right”.
Detective Anderson: In the precinct, in an interrogation room none the less. You are a piece of work.
Iggy: I did no such thing. I have asthma.
~The detectives look at one another thinking, this guy is one of a kind.~
Detective Furhman: Like my partner said, Cut the bullshit. We do not fuck around. We have you on tape snorting cocaine up your nose out of that queer little crucifix around your neck.
~Furhman points to Iggy’s necklace. Iggy clutches it in his hand.~
Iggy: MY GRAND DADDY GAVE ME THIS, MATTER OF FACT! JERK!
~The detectives share a laugh at Iggy’s expense.~
Detective Anderson: AWWWWWWW… Did someone piss in your cheesecake?
Iggy: Does it look like I have cheesecake here, sir?
Detective Furhman: Don’t smart him, asshole.
Iggy: What is this anyway? Good ole fashion case of good cop, bad cop? Can you please do me a favor and telling me what this is all about? My lawyer is on his way down here and I don’t think I like being alone in this scary room with the two of you without him.
Detective Furhman: Oh, you mean Treat Cassidy?
Detective Anderson: What kind of fruity asshole daffy ass name is that?
~Iggy shrugs.~
Iggy: A name I’m guessing his parents gave him?
Detective Furhman: You think you are pretty smooth don’t you?
Detective Anderson: Where we’re you Saturday May 13th?
Iggy: Hmmm… I was gearing up for my match against Josie Barnes. Little titties but helluva set of DSLs on her.
Detective Furhman: Ok, that’s the WHAT. But WHERE were you?
Iggy: I was a little bit of everywhere if my memory serves me correctly. Hotel for a bit, strip club, my pal Chainsaw’s house…
~As soon as Iggy says the name Chainsaw he immediately regrets it. One of the biggest drug dealers in Key West and Iggy just used him as an alibi.~
Detective Anderson: Chainsaw, huh?
Iggy: I meant to say 2 Chainz. Yeah we’re tight.
~The detectives can sense this is going to be a long night.~
Detective Furhman: You ever seen this man?
~Furhman slides a photograph of Patrick Sturgeon across the table before Iggy. Iggy gives it a glance.~
Iggy: Nope. Never. Ever. No sirrey bob. He has an amazing chin though.
Detective Anderson: I hate liars.
Iggy: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!!?
Detective Furhman: OOoOOOOHOOHHHH someone got a little upset.
Iggy: Look, pal – You’ll know when I get upset, trust me.
Detective Furhman: We aren’t your fucking pals, PAL. You are a scumbag.
~Iggy rolls his eyes, but smiles intently.~
Detective Anderson: We’ve heard stories. Big bad tough guy you are or so you think. We’ve got the run down from your colleague. Mr. Rebel.
Iggy: Rebel?
Detective Furhman: That’s what he said.
Detective Anderson: Let’s cut to the chase. Saturday May 13th Patrick Sturgeon was shot multiple times while enjoying a late night cigarette on his porch. The Lexus that was rented in your name from Enterprise was found with two 9mm shell casings on the floorboard. The same type of gun fired at Mr. Sturgeon.
Detective Furhman: That’s right. Mr. Sturgeon spent two nights in ICU, nearly died. He identified a blonde wrestler. We have all but ruled out Rebel as the gun man. And, during our chin wag with Rebel – He all but implicated you. Which is funny because always thought you… wrestler guys stuck together.
~Iggy takes a deep breath, fidgeting with his hands.~
Iggy: FUCK YOU, FUCK REBEL, FUCK THE POLICE, AND FUCK PATRICK STURGEON!!!!!
~The detectives don’t know what to think about Iggy’s outburst. He quickly remembers where he is and takes another deep breath, settling himself down.~
Iggy: Ahem… Excuse me, gents. I ugh… well… I apoloize for… ugh… my attitude. But, I’ve never shot a gun before in my whole life. I couldn’t kill a fly, let alone try and take another man’s life. It’s not in my nature to be so violent…
~Before another word is said the door flies open and in walks Treat Cassidy with his briefcase. He lays his briefcase on the table.~
Treat Cassidy: Not another word, Iggy. This railroading of an “interview” is through. My client walked in here to answer your questions on his own volition and he’s leaving right now. If there is any more questions please, send them through me. I think you two keystone cops need a little more evidence than a blonde man and a couple shell casings in a rental car that is rented more than 62 times in a month. Good luck finding your man.
~Treat hands the detectives a business card as he takes his client out of the interrogation room.~
Detective Anderson: Iggy…
~Both Iggy and Treat turn to face Anderson as they head out the door.~
Detective Anderson: Don’t travel too far… I’ve been doing this 30 years. I’ve been around the block and back around. I’m not stupid and neither is my partner. We know you shot Sturgeon, and we are going to prove it, and you are going down. Attempted Murder, probably 25 years. I’ll add possession of cocaine to that when I slap the handcuffs on you. I’ll see you soon.
Iggy: Don’t threaten me with a good time, babycakes.
~Iggy gyrates his hips as he blows the detectives a kiss. Furhman jumps up off his chair and charges Iggy as Treat quickly ushers him out of the door as the scene fades to Bad Boys by Inner Circle playing.~
Smith: Iggy Hardy is in some hot water!
Hood: He handled that interview well… Those pigs are right though, guys and girls in this business are supposed to back one another. Rebel is a fucking rat!
Smith: The plot thickens for their upcoming Savage championship battle at Stainless Steel Ride!
Hood: I would not want to be Rebel right now!
Smith: I wouldn’t say that… Rebel can definitely hold his own. Should be a match for the record books.
Hood: I’m not saying that, sure he probably can, I’m talking about Rebel going down the tubes for an attempted murder on this Pat Sturgeon cat.
Smith: He didn’t do it, idiot! Obviously Iggy pulled the trigger on this poor man.
Hood: Iggy would NOT do such a thing.
~There’s a long pause as Smith and Hood look at one another longingly.~
Hood: Shit, maybe he would…
Smith: Well I’m not paid to answer these types of questions…so we’ll just move along…
~The lights in the arena all suddenly turn off, turning everything to complete darkness. The screen comes to life as a black screen is shown. Slowly, words coloured light blue form across the screen, one by one, taking their time to give everyone watching to take the words in~
~The three words disappear to the right of screen as more words come from the left of the screen into the center of it~
~These words slowly disappear to the right again as the crowd watch on in curiosity~
~Murmurs start sounding through the crowd as people seem to be discussing who this potential person is~
~The murmurs get louder as the five words disappear to the right of screen~
~The murmurs and whispers holt as the last five words slowly come onto the screen, one by one~
~The screen turns off completely taking the arena to complete darkness as the crowd await in the silence, waiting to see if it is who they are thinking. If it is…………~
~The lights suddenly turn back on as ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor blasts out over the PA system, as PerZag appears on the stage, his arms following extended out to his sides, with his head tilted back, staring towards the ceiling. The crowd instantly start cheering, as PerZag brings his head down, and starts to stare out towards the crowd as Belvedere’s voice is heard via a microphone from the ring~
Belvedere: Please welcome back………… ‘The Worthiest of All’ PERZAG!
~The crowd continue cheering, the noise neither growing or falling in volume, as PerZag walks towards the ring, high-fiving fans along the way to the ring~
Smith: Oh, my god. PerZag’s back.
Hood: Really. It’s not that exciting. It’s been what. A month.
Smith: Well, he was still gone. Someone who has barely taken a step away from this company since he started here back in 2014.
Hood: Well, so what. Most of our roster are full of people who have been signed here previously. Look at The Incredible One. He was here in 2014.
Smith: Well, yes, that’s true.
Hood: And so was Bob Grenier. Oh, and Chad Vargas. And that Levi Russow guy was signed here beforehand. And that one-eyed guy who disappeared.
Smith: You mean Lance Savage.
Hood: Yeah, that’s him. And then there’s Annie Alvarez, Curt Canon, Mack O’Connor, Mark Storm………
Smith: Yeah, yeah, you made your point.
Hood: Ah, the thrills of beating you in everything. Including your wife.
Smith: What was that?
Hood: Oh. Nothing.
~PerZag is now inside the ring as Belvedere has remained in the ring, as he seems to be holding a cowboy hat of some kind. Belvedere hands PerZag the microphone as he stands still, waiting for PerZag to start to speak. The crowd’s cheers, which were still going, have just started to die down as PerZag begins to speak~
PerZag: Well, it’s good to be back. It’s been what, a month. Something like that. Well, that has been the slowest month that I have ever gone through. I’ve been itching to return ever since…………
~PerZag trails off, thinking about something, before shaking his head and returning to speak~
PerZag: Well, it doesn’t matter, because in the end, there is only one thing that matters, and that is this…………
~PerZag pauses for a brief moment, letting it settle in~
PerZag: THE WORTHIEST OF ALL IS BACK!
~The crowd begin cheering again as PerZag smiles, nodding his head at the crowd~
PerZag: You know what, I really didn’t think I would get this much of a welcome home, to be honest with you all. I am just glad that I have, but that’s not all that I am out here for, and yeah, I know what you are probably all thinking right now. Some shit about the OCW Championship.
~PerZag shakes his head, briefly~
PerZag: Well, that is not what this is about. Not at all. I fucked up a month back, and I honour that. One man’s loss, is another man’s gain. Or woman. Or whatever. That is not what I am out here to talk to you about. The one thing that is important right now is that I am back, and that I am ready to fight, and next week I will be back in action, fighting for all of you fans out there. And myself, of course. This business, this company, it has been great for me, so I will always be great for it. I am one of the best stars on this roster at this current moment, so that is probably why I have been given the chance to have my own match at Stainless Steel Ride.
~PerZag pauses as he stares out across the crowd~
PerZag: But, there is just one problem. I don’t have an opponent. I mean, O’Donnell is fighting Curt Canon. Vargas returned to fight Ms. Brooks, Mack O’Connor has a title match, Lurrr still doesn’t want to take me on……
~PerZag pauses, before staring straight into the camera~
PerZag: And Lurrr, I am ready to fight you, when you are game enough to.
~PerZag looks away from the camera, and stares out around the crowd~
PerZag: All the potential opponents, the potential great bouts I could have at a PPV event, and I am not going to get to fight one of them. I mean, I could try and fight Damien K’, but I have already held that title previously, and well, someone else deserves a shot at it for sure. So, instead, I am left with nothing. No opponent. No outstanding names. Nothing. So, I have had a look at the rest of the roster. At everyone else who is on the roster that deserves a spotlight, and I just couldn’t decide. There is so much talent on this roster, but these newcomers are all in the same boat. They are all fighting for their chance at going towards the top, and hell, most of them are fighting for the Oh Shit Contract.
~PerZag pauses, giving himself some time to breathe, and think about what he is going to say next~
PerZag: So, I thought long and hard about this, and I did debate about joining that match just like I did at Like There’s No Tomorrow, but I decided against it, in the end. I just didn’t feel that that match gave me the spotlight that I or others truly deserved. What we really need is a one on one match. A good test to see whether somebody is truly ready to climb up the ladder. So, I have officially initiated The Worthy Challenge.
~The crowd gives a brief applaud as PerZag looks towards the stage area~
PerZag: But, instead of giving someone the first comes, first serves opportunity, I decided that instead, I would have all of your names written down, and placed into a hat, for me to draw out and announce in front of the whole crowd here tonight. I wanted to give it a random assortment. Let fate deal with it all. Maybe it truly will be about fate. So, I hope you all in the back are keeping your attention close to whatever screen you are watching, because I could be drawing out your name. So, here it goes.
~PerZag places the microphone down on the ground as he walks over to Belvedere who is still holding the hat in his hands. Belvedere hands the hat over to PerZag who takes it, and walks away from Belvedere, who now, exits the ring. PerZag walks back over to the microphone, and picks it up with the other hand~
PerZag: Ok, here we go.
~PerZag looks out at the crowd, and then looks at the hat, before tipping it over and letting all of the paper fall out of the hat onto the ground. PerZag throws the hat out into the crowd, before returning to speak~
PerZag: Why would I ever give one of those fucking losers in the back an opportunity? That’s just fucking stupid. I am The Worthiest of All of those fucks, so there is no way that anyone will get a chance at me. And you stupid dumbasses thought that I would.
~The crowd start booing PerZag, as PerZag starts laughing to himself~
PerZag: Yes, that’s better. Fucking boo me. I don’t like any of you assholes out there or any of those assholes in the back. They are all a bunch of worthless pigs. They could all be blown up right now, and I wouldn’t give a damn. No one, back there is as worthy as me and they will never get close to being so. No one deserves the chance to step into the ring with me, and they won’t. They won’t get that chance. I will not give them that chance, and I will not give you all the chance of watching me fight at Stainless Steel Ride. To see me fight is just like seeing the God of Thunder, Thor, fight. It is fantastic. Incredible. It’s just too worthy for you assholes. I’m just too good for you assholes. Too good for any of you. From The Aptitude to Curt Canon to Perfectly Marvellous. I am too god damned worthy for any of you.
~PerZag pauses, still smiling as the crowd continues to boo~
PerZag: You all can boo as much as you like, because I will always get what I want. This company will always allow that. And there’s one reason for it. They know that I am just too good to not give in to. Because losing me to another company will be the biggest loss of any company in the history of professional wrestling. The Worthiest of All is back in OCW, and he is about to kick some Unworthy ass.
~PerZag drops the microphone, and drops down and rolls out of the ring as ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor blasts over the PA system as the crowd boo PerZag on his walk towards the backstage area. PerZag smiles, chuckling to himself, saying ‘Finally, I have truly returned’ over and over again, before disappearing backstage~
Smith: PerZag is back...which is good...but I'm not sure I care for the attitude
Hood: FINALLY...Chad, Bob, Mack and ZAG are all returning to their roots...ahhhhh it's so wonderful
Smith: Why does everyone in wrestling have to be mean?
Hood: Because if they weren't...they'd be like Alice Knight
Smith: And THAT would be wonderful
Hood: No it would not!
Smith: Regardless...PerZag is back and I have a feeling he's going to be an issue for someone at Stainless Steel Ride...that remains to be seen. Anyway...it's main event time, everybody...so, let's head down to ringside!
Process of Elimination Match
Jade Spritz/Rebel/Robbie ‘Aire’ Rayder vs. Bradley Carrington/Damian K’/Mack O’Connor
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following is a Process of Elimination Match. The winners of the six person tag match will move immediately into a triple threat contest. The person who emerges victorious in the triple threat contest will be the winner. That person will then go on to compete in a final Process of Elimination match scheduled for two weeks from today
~"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" by Weezer begins to play. Bradley Carrington steps onto the stage, wearing a grey t shirt that says "Carrington" in red letters on it, the 'C' has a graduate cap over it. He is reading a copy of his book: "Being the Best at Everything, the Bradley Carrington Story". He pauses, as if he is moved by his own writing, before closing the book and walking towards the ring. As he approaches the ring, he picks a fan in the front row, signs the book, and hands it to them. He jumps onto the ring apron, climbs in between the ropes, and poses for photos from his adoring fan (his wife Autumn). He removes his t shirt and waits for the match to begin~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Ithaca, New York…standing 6 feet tall and weighing in at 205lbs…”Professor” Bradley Carrington!!!
~ The screech of a guitar’s feedback over an amazing amp shakes the arena. The lights that brightly illuminate everything fade to nothing, submerging the whole crowd in total darkness. Smoke begins to pollute the stage as finally Gary Clark Jr.’s “Numb” begins to play. The heavy guitar instrumentals with the blaring drum is a clear onset to the large cloud of smoke. A single spotlight creates the shadow of Damian K'~
~He steps out of the smoke with a cigarette on his mouth and a pair of shades on. Loosely upon his shoulders is the infamous black and red trench coat that he commonly wears. He takes a long drag of the cigarette before jetting out a line of smoke. It merges in with the congregation behind him. Within the smoke, hands reach out for Damian, trying to grab onto his form. The shadowy appendages associate themselves with the cultist mindset that the First Son has. The man ignores their attempts and begins his way down the ramp~
Belvedere: Introducing next, weighing in at a two hundred and forty pounds. Hailing from Silent Hill, he is the First Son, the Godslaying Beast, this is DAMIAN K’!!!!
~"Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits. Mack O’Connor walks out on the stage and walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business~
Belvedere: And their partner, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…Mack O’Connor!!!
~”Lola Montez” by Volbeat begins to play. The fans give a stronger than usual reaction. The men in the crowd feel a funny tingling in their loins. The women in the crowd are strangely intrigued…OCW’s seductress, Jade Spritz emerges. She saunters down to the ring and up the steps. She slowly slides through the ropes, looking at the three men inside the ring. Autumn has a look of disgust on her face. Jade winks at her three opponents before finding comfort in the opposing corner~
Belvedere: And their opponents…first, from Cleveland, Ohio…standing 5’10 and weighing in at 170lbs…Jade Spritz!!!
~The lights dim as a red siren light circles the arena. 'Indestructible' by Disturbed plays as Robbie Rayder, weighing his ring attire and color matching cape, walks out and kneels down. He points his index fingers to the ceiling then lowers them to point at the ring. Rayder looks out at the crowd as he walks half way down towards the ring, then pulling the cape off from his neck. He slides into the ring, front flips up, drops to a knee and points to the ceiling again, then lowers his index fingers to point at the opponents~
Belvedere: Introducing next, from Vancouver, British Columbia…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 195lbs…Robbie ‘Aire’ Rayder!!!
~The lights around the arena turn to red as the opening strains of "Slow Me Down" by the Devin Townsend Band play out, the lights flicker red and white. The camera swoops down to the entrance to show the silhouette of a man, his back turned to the camera, with his left hand raised in a fist above his head, the lights all suddenly burst on as a huge explosion rocks the arena. Rebel rotates quickly, pumping his fist at his side as he does, he begins the walk down to the ring, reaching out periodically to shake hands with the fans. He jumps up onto the ring apron and turns quickly, his arms wrapped around the top rope, again he pumps his left fist in the air then hops over the top rope. He walks around the ring, his fist raised, then stops in the middle, a bank of red fireworks sweep across the side of the ring behind him~
Belvedere: And their partner, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs…Rebel!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: The fifth in a series of six process of elimination matches…all leading to a final process of elimination match where the winner drafts the two divisions of Jimmy Buffet’s Margarita Mix!
Hood: That was a fucking mouth full
Smith: You’re not kidding. The finals feature two Aptitude members, an Intense individual and a quasi-rookie…quite the group!
Hood: I have to say, I like them all…
Smith: Who do you think wins tonight?
Hood: How should I fucking know?
Smith: Just take a guess
Hood: Ugh…ehh, let’s see…I’m going to go with the one wearing the belt
Smith: C’mon, you know their names, stop acting like a jerk. That would be Damian K’ the brand new OCW Ascension Champion!
Hood: You’re right, I do know his name. I just hate pronouncing the dash
~Bradley is in the ring…Mack and Damian stand on the apron. Belvedere takes Damian’s Ascension Title with him for safe keeping. Bradley looks at Mack and begins to brag saying things like “Watch how it’s done.” Mack threatens to punch Carrington in the mouth. The entire time Damian just looks on – he has no dog in the fight. Carrington arrogantly smirks and turns around…he spots Rebel. Carrington quickly turns back around and tags Damian. The crowd boos…Damian looks at Rebel like ‘wtf?’ Carrington is heard saying, “Felt a slight pain in my ankle, need to have Autumn check it out.” Mack responds, “Pussy.” Damian steps inside the ring, having no issue with starting for his team…Carrington sits on the apron and instructs Autumn to inspect the ankle~
Hood: Oh no! Carrington might be hurt!
Smith: He’s not hurt, trust me
Hood: He is EXTREMELY hurt…look at how much pain he’s in…if he can’t compete tonight, that would be awful.
Smith: I’m sure that ankle will magically heal whenever he’s got the opportunity to beat on someone who is already down.
~Carrington points down at his right ankle. Autumn feels around, finding nothing. He winces, really playing it up. Back inside the ring, Damian and Rebel stalk one another, looking for an advantage. The crowd is on their feet, excited to see two of OCW’s best lock up. In a flash, they are locked…Rebel’s size gives him an early advantage…but Damian’s strength and determination counters…they sway back and forth, neither man budging. They finally break, having reached a stale mate. The crowd claps, anxious to see them continue~
Smith: This is a glimpse into what could be a huge match down the line…both of these men have that ‘main event’ ability
Hood: I’m still worried about Carrington’s ankle! Can we get a split screen of his leg?
Smith: That’s no important!
Hood: What are you talking about? He’s the franchise! These two are only here to make him look good
~Carrington continues to complain about his right ankle. He throws a few furtive glances over his shoulder, keeping tabs on what’s taking place inside the ring. When he sees Rebel on his feet, he winces, playing the ankle injury up even further. Inside the ring, Rebel gives Damian a push, asking Damian to push him back. Damian does. Rebel throws a forearm, hitting Damian…Damian throws one of this own…the two men beat the hell out of each other repeatedly with forearm strikes. Finally, Damian lifts a knee into Rebel’s gut and shoots him into the ropes…Rebel bounces off…it’s the side where Carrington’s seated, the impact sends Carrington flying off the apron, onto the floor…Rebel runs toward Damian and is drilled in the face with a forearm shot!! Rebel stumbles backwards, falling to one knee…the crowd is on their feet, cheering loudly~
Smith: Neither of these men are holding anything back…I love it!
Hood: What a disaster? Carrington might SERIOUSLY be injured now…we need medical!
Smith: We do not, stop overreacting!
Hood: I don’t think I’ve seen an injury this serious since that time Derrick Rose went down clutching his knee
Smith: Hardly comparable
Hood: Totally comparable…both men are franchise players!
~Carrington gets to his feet…Autumn rushes over to make sure he’s okay. He limps around on his left ankle. Autumn stands upright…her concern leaves. Carrington looks at her, while wincing…he asks what’s wrong. She points at his left ankle explaining it was his right ankle earlier~
Smith: You see? I told you he was faking!
Hood: OH NO…HE’S HURT BOTH ANKLES NOW
Smith: He has not!
~Carrington is about to argue with Autumn when something hits him in the back of the head. He turns around to find his book lying at his feet. He spots the fan that did it…he mouths the word “lawless cretin” and goes after the fan with both ankles fully functional. He slams the fan face first into the barricade. Back inside the ring, Rebel powers up to his feet. Damian throws a punch, Rebel blocks it and head butts Damian in the shoulder!! Damian clutches his shoulder, staggering back…Rebel shoots him off the ropes, Damian sprints across the ring, hits the ropes and is met with a Big Boot to the face!! The back of Damian’s head slams into the mat hard as the fans begin to chant for Rebel~
Smith: Those long legs of Rebel just stopped Damian right in his tracks!
Hood: Whew, thank goodness…it appears that Carrington’s ankles are going to be OK
Smith: Wow, what a shock
Hood: We really dodged a bullet on that one. I think we should remove Carrington from the match…that was way too close.
~Begrudgingly, Carrington hops onto the apron with the post In between he and Mack. Autumn brings up the ankle again, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, simply moving on as though it was never an issue. Mack doesn’t seem impressed. Rebel pulls Damian to his feet and he tags in Jade. The crowd gives Spritz a decent reaction…she’s starting to make an impact with the fans. Rebel hooks Damian’s arms, keeping his body exposed. Jade throws a few kicks into Damian’s ribs before flinging a roundhouse kick into the side of his head! K’ falls to his knees, in prime position for more leg strikes…Rebel exits~
Smith: And now we have Jade Spritz…OCW’s seductress!
Hood: She is hot and knows how to attract men
Smith: That is not hard to imagine
Hood: I was at a bar the other day and there was a line of men waiting to see her…it was like she was giving out autographs.
Smith: That was an OCW autograph signing, Hood!
Hood: Oh, really? Well, still…those men seemed pretty excited!
~Jade throws a few stiff kicks into Damian’s chest. He wobbles back…but his base never falters, keeping him upright on his knees. Jade runs into the ropes, she bounces off and smashes a knee into Damian’s face!! Damian tumbles onto his back from the impact of that blow. Jade goes for a quick cover, Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close but not nearly close enough to pin the Ascension Champion
Hood: She’s pissed! Damian must have blown her off
Smith: You mean he wasn’t in line at her autograph signing?
Hood: I didn’t see him while I was observing the line
Smith: Let’s be honest here…you were standing in line, weren’t you?
Hood: What? Me? Never!
~Jade returns to her feet, waiting on K’. He slowly rises…she throws another kick as he’s standing on one knee. K’ pops to both feet and catches her kick! Jade hops on one leg with a look of uncertainty…before Damian can do anything, he stumbles a bit. His body is still recovering from the previous damage. Jade throws an enziguri! It SMACKS Damian in the side of the head!! He stumbles back, into the ropes~
Smith: Damian K’ almost fully countered that kick from Jade…unfortunately he faltered a bit which allowed Jade to capitalize.
Hood: Yea, you don’t want to show weakness in front of a woman like Jade
Smith: She’s a male predator…a possible, man-eater?
Hood: She is adept at swallowing…
Smith: OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH
~Jade charges forward…K’ puts his head down lifting Jade over the top rope! Jade lands on the apron…she grabs K’ from behind, turning him around…she tries to pull his throat down, across the top rope…he shoves her hands off the back of his head and backhands Jade across the face!! Jade staggers…Damian knees her in the gut and hooker his arm around her head…he lifts her over the top rope and back into the ring with a Vertical Suplex!! Jade hits hard, arching her back in pain!! Damian rolls over, looking toward his corner~
Smith: Great comeback by Damian K’…that’s why he’s our Ascension champion….now, if he could just make a tag!
Hood: Tag Mack…we can’t risk another injury scare with Carrington!
Smith: He was never injured to begin with!
Hood: What are you…some kind of doctor all of a sudden? Some kind of KNIFE MAN?
Smith: I hate knives
~Damian reaches his feet and he tags in Mack!! The crowd gives Mack a strong ovation…he doesn’t care. He steps through the ropes going after Jade. Jade is on her knees…O’Connor grips her hair and yanks her up…he shoves her into the ropes…Jade bounces off and Mack boots her right into the gut! Jade doubles over…Mack throws a punch into the lower portion of her back…Jade’s back arches, her face looking upward…Mack punches Jade in the face!! Jade falls to the mat, holding her face in pain. The fans slightly turn on Mack, not really approving of his violence~
Smith: Mack isn’t pulling any punches on Jade…he doesn’t care that she’s a woman
Hood: LITERALLY
Smith: Yes, literally…a solid contribution as always, Hood
Hood: LITERALLY!
~Mack pulls Jade up…he appears to be going for the Claymore! The crowd pops…Jade bites him in the shoulder…Mack lets go, wincing in pain. Jade drops to her knees and low blows Mack!!! He staggers backward…Spritz crawls for her corner and tags in Rayder!! The crowd goes wild! Rayder flips over the top rope, landing on his feet inside the ring. Mack straightens up, cocking his head to the side where his shoulder was bitten. His eyes are focused on Robbie Rayder~
Smith: Desperate times…Jade did what she had to do to get out of that ring
Hood: Geezus…I guess when it comes down to it a woman will always bite and go for the balls
Smith: To be fair, Mack was decimating her with overly aggressive punches…the object is to win and, well, being a competitor she did what she needed to survive
Hood: I love how you are suddenly condoning biting and crotch shots yet talking about a punch as though it were a shot to the head with a chair. You are a revisionist, Smith…how Orwellian!
Smith: I will not fall into your trap, Hood. I’m wise to your ways
~Mack throws an overreaching right hand at Rayder…Rayder ducks and kicks Mack in the leg…he kicks Mack in the other leg…Mack’s legs buckle…Rayder throws a flurry of backhands into Mack’s midsection and jaw…Mack’s body is wobbling…Rayder tosses a mule kick into Mack’s abdomen…Mack doubles over…Rayder lifts a knee into Mack’s face…Mack straightens up, teetering on his heels…Rayder LEAPS into the air with a dropkick!! Mack falls to the mat to a thunderous ovation from the crowd! “RAYDER!” chants fill the arena as Robbie pops back to his feet and stands, poised for an attack~
Smith: Wow! I’m not sure Mack O’Connor was expecting that!
Hood: Maybe Rayder should be named Storm…
Smith: I think his name suits him
Hood: Robbie Storm…or Robbie Flurry…he could be a big McFlurry fan!
Smith: Well, he does like candy
Hood: Oh hell yea he does…
Smith: Hood, get your mind out of the gutter…
~Mack slowly rolls onto his stomach…he works to an ‘all fours’ position. Rayder throws a kick into his ribs! Mack flips onto his back…Rayder hops over Mack, he sprints to the ropes, hops onto the middle rope and leaps backwards with a moon sault! He lands right on top of Mack and goes for a quick pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Mack O’Connor had better do something to stymie the momentum of Rayder…otherwise, well, it could be lights out for his second shot at the Process of Elimination
Hood: I don’t know why this shit is so complicated…Rayder is the size of a middle schooler, just grab him by the ears and throw him out of the ring!
Smith: I think you’re selling Rayder a bit short there
Hood: Hahaha, good one, man!
Smith: Ugh, that’s not what I meant
~Rayder is back on his feet…he runs into the ropes…Mack is back on all fours…Rayder bounces off the ropes and throws a kick at Mack’s head…Mack tucks his head…Rayder whiffs and gets his leg caught on the middle rope. Mack gets to his feet, he hooks Rayder around the waist and tosses him over his shoulder with a Release German Suplex!! Rayder lands on his head and remains there with his legs dangling near his ears. Mack stumbles toward his corner, he spots Carrington who is BEGGING to be tagged~
Smith: Rayder is in a vulnerable state…Carrington could really do some damage!
Hood: Carrington can ALWAYS do damage.
Smith: Well, yes…but this is an opportune moment. He could absolutely win the match if tagged in right now
Hood: Carrington can win any match at any time
Smith: Never mind
~Mack looks at the eager Carrington and yells “FUCK YOU” he tags Damian instead. The crowd goes wild. Bradley’s eyes widen. He kicks at the bottom rope, furious. Damian enters into the match~
Smith: Hmm…not the greatest example of team work there
Hood: Why are those two even ON the same team?
Smith: That is an excellent question
Hood: Wait for it…wait for it…
Smith: Just say it!
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Mack stands on the apron…he looks at Carrington, from around the post and says “Do something about it.” Carrington remains still…he finally responds, “Oh, I will, after we get past this phase.” Damian grabs Rayder’s legs, hooking them under his arms. He starts to swing Rayder around. Rayder, showing tremendous ab strength, sits up and hooks Damian’s head with a front face lock! Damian stops swinging…Rayder locks his legs around Damian’s waist, attempting to choke out the Ascension Champion~
Smith: Great move! Hood, I’m telling you…Robbie Rayder is going to make some serious noise in OCW
Hood: Did he buy a set of drums?
Smith: How should I know that?
Hood: Well I heard SOMEONE drumming back stage
Smith: As far as I know, Rayder does not play any musical instruments
~Damian uses his strength to pry Rayder’s legs off from around his waist. He then places his hands into Rayder’s abdomen and shoves…Rayder’s legs fly in the air…he releases Damian’s head, swings his legs back down and drops Damian with a codebreaker!! Damian staggers into the nearest corner. Robbie sprints in with a spear! Damian staggers forward…Rayder knees Damian in the gut and drops him with an Implant DDT! Damian rolls onto his back…Robbie points at the corner, the crowd goes wild~
Smith: He’s going for Aire Rayde!
Hood: Seriously? He’s going to pin our Ascension Champion ONE WEEK after his epic battle with Annie Alvarez?
Smith: Not sure I’d call it an epic battle
Hood: This is why we can’t have nice things, Smith. Damian should go unbeaten for AT LEAST the next 8 and a half months.
Smith: WHAT?
~Rayder reaches the top. Damian sits up…he lunges for the ropes…the impact causes Rayder to lose his footing and become crotched!! Damian rushes in…Rayder is leaning forward…Damian snares Rayder, placing him over his shoulder…he then positions him and drops him into the mat with a LEAPING TOMBSTONE! The crowd groans as Damian goes for a pin~
1!
2!
3!!!
~The bell rings, the crowd boos heavily~
Belvedere: Here are the winners of the first portion of the Process of Elimination match…DAMIAN K’, MACK O’CONNOR, AND “PROFESSOR” BRADLEY CARRINGTON!!!!!
Smith: NO! I can’t believe Damian would stoop to such levels just to pin Rayder
Hood: Dude’s a champion now…he understands how you play the game
Smith: Cheat codes are NOT how you play games
Hood: You show me someone who couldn’t beat a game with cheat codes and I’ll show you a fucking retard and, since we’re being totally honest…retards SHOULDN’T be wrestling…or leaving the house.
Smith: That’s awful
~Rayder rolls out of the ring. Rebel helps him to the back…Jade makes her way back there as well. Carrington turns around to say something smart to Mack. Mack punches him right in the face!! Carrington falls off the apron, landing awkwardly on his ankle. He falls into the barricade. The bell rings as Mack steps through the ropes, eyeing Damian K’~
Smith: Alright…now we move to phase two…one of these three men will become the fifth participant in the FINAL Process of Elimination Match
Hood: I’m going for Damian K’ because he’s not retarded
Smith: Thanks for that sound, analytical take on this competitive wrestling match
Hood: Any time, pal!
~The two OCW stars meet in the center of the ring…they don’t waste any time, throwing punches left AND right. Big time right punches. Mack, arguably the best brawler in OCW history, gains the upperFIST. Damian staggers into the ropes…Mack drills him in the chin with a right hand…Damian LEANS back, over the top rope…his feet come back down, onto the mat. Mack SMACKS him with another right fist…this time Damian goes over the top rope, landing onto the apron. Mack waits for Damian to reach his feet, prepared to throw another right hand~
Smith: Mack is decimating Damian K’ with right hands!
Hood: Imagine if Mack were left handed!
Smith: Why?
Hood: I don’t know, just imagine…it would look weird…left handers are weird people
Smith: No they are not
~Damian finally reaches his feet…Mack throws a haymaker…Damian falls off the apron…Mack swings wildly and misses! The momentum spins him around…a hand reaches in, grabbing Mack by the leg…he pulls back and Mack falls face first onto the mat…he is then yanked out of the ring. Carrington is standing on the outside…he grabs Damian and Mack by the head and slams them, face first into each other!! Both men fall down after the ‘thud’ impact~
Smith: Okay…I will say this…that was a smart move.
Hood: Greatest man that ever lived, Smith…I’m glad you can finally admit that
Smith: That’s not what I said
Hood: Yes it is…you just haven’t realized it
~Carrington pulls Mack to his feet and drops him just as quickly with a DDT! Mack remains face down. Carrington pulls Damian to his feet and tosses him inside the ring. Damian rolls near the center and instinctively reaches his feet…Carrington hops onto the apron and heads for the corner…he grabs onto the top rope and jumps over…he lands on the middle rope, inside the ring, near the corner and then leaps off that with a dropkick into the chest of Damian!! Damian falls backwards, slamming the back of his head into the middle buckle of the nearest corner. Carrington pops back to his feet, smiling...he’s in total control~
Hood: Greatest man that ever lived!
Smith: Look, I’m not saying he isn’t good…I’m not even saying he can’t be great…I’m just saying that statement is, well, premature.
Hood: You know what they say about premature ejaculators
Smith: No, I don’t know what they say nor do I care
Hood: They hit their mark more than the guys who can go ‘all night long’
Smith: Great, terrific…so glad our audience is equipped with that knowledge
Hood: It’s because they can’t pull out in time. You know, they wind up getting their women pregnant
Smith: THAT’S ENOUGH
Hood: Early bird gets the worm, that’s all I’m saying
~Carrington looks at Damian…he bounces on his toes a few times before taking off. He DRILLS Damian in the face with a Bomaye kick!! Damian’s body goes limp! Carrington’s legs wind up outside the ring, between the middle and bottom ropes…his upper torso and arms and hanging onto the middle rope. He pulls his body back in and grabs Damian by the legs…dragging him into the center of the ring~
Smith: This is it! Bradley Carrington is going to earn the fifth spot in the ultimate Process of Elimination Match
Hood: It was only a matter of time, Smith
Smith: They have to earn it in the ring, Hood
Hood: Ordinary men, yes…but not that Greatest Man That Ever Lived. Placing him in this match was an insult!
Smith: Balderdash
Hood: Yes, I agree…the bald headed Mack O’Connor’s dreams will be dashed
~Carrington looks down at Damian and shakes his head. It’s as though he’s mocking the injured Ascension Champion. Carrington feels something on his shoulder…he turns around. It’s Mack O’Connor!! Mack kicks Carrington in the gut and drops him with Hollow Point (Stunner to the temple)!! The crowd pops for the move…Carrington winds up on his back. Mack quickly covers Damian~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Damian K’ is resilient…we all know that
Hood: He’d better be with a kid on the way…from what I hear, that shit is miserable
Smith: I hardly think misery is the word to describe it
Hood: Maybe you’ve heard different stories than I have…but based on the shit I’ve heard…fucking miserable
~A frustrated Mack shoves Damian out of the way. He turns around and gets on top of Carrington for a pin attempt. He hooks BOTH Carrington’s legs. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
Kick Out!
Smith: Perhaps Mack should have pinned Carrington first?
Hood: That’s why Mack isn’t the smartest man that ever lived…hell, I doubt he’s the smartest O’Connor
Smith: I’m sure he’s the smartest O’Connor
Hood: No way…you ever hear about Sir Thaddeus O’Connor of Brookshire Hall from Timbergreen Forest?
Smith: No
Hood: Smart mother fucker…a real genius. AND…he had hair
Smith: Pretty sure you just made all of that up
~Mack gets to his feet dragging Carrington along the way. He hooks Carrington for Claymore…Carrington is too tired to fight back. Damian stands behind Mack. He slams a clothesline into the back/shoulder area of O’Connor. Mack stumbles, his grip loosens…Carrington falls to his knees. Damian hits him again with the lariat…Mack staggers into the ropes, leaning over the middle rope~
Smith: Interesting clash we have here…Mack is, of course, the tough brawler
Hood: Aka the idiot
Smith: I dare you to say that to his face. Damian K’ is resilient
Hood: Aka the crash test dummy
Smith: Again, say it to his face. And…Carrington is intelligent, crafty
Hood: Aka the greatest man that ever lived!
~Damian hooks Mack around the waist, dragging him away from the ropes. He lifts him for a German…Carrington gets to his feet, standing behind Damian. As Damian drops Mack for the German, Carrington places his knees into Damian’s back with a backstabber!! Mack lands hard, Damian’s back cracks against Carrington’s knees, causing him to writhe around in pain…and Carrington holds his knees in a bit of discomfort~
Smith: Great move by Carrington, taking advantage of a situation
Hood: You could drop Carrington on his head from a ten story building and he’d STILL be the smartest wrestler in OCW
Smith: Even if that were true…it’s not like this is some kind of spelling test. Intelligence can only get you so far.
Hood: Well, it should be a spelling test wrestling match. WEAK ASS BOOKING
~Carrington heads for a nearby corner…he climbs to the top. He spots Damian…he leaps off with a Shooting Star Press!! Damian gets his knees up!! Carrington’s body smashes into Damian’s knees!! Carrington stumbles around, shaking his head, dazed. Damian slowly gets to his feet…we spot Mack finding his footing. Damian reaches for Carrington…his arm is slapped away. He turns around, O’Connor kicks him in the gut and drops him with the Hollow Point!! Damian’s body snaps back, into the ropes…he falls through them, to the outside. Mack then catches a stumbling Carrington, he lifts him up and drops him with Claymore!!! Mack goes for the cover as Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and the fifth competitor heading into the final Process of Elimination Match…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: What an impressive victory for Mack O’Connor…Damian and Carrington both looked like they were in position to win but, ultimately, succumbed to Mack
Hood: Ugh…idiocracy, here we come
Smith: Don’t be so morose!
~Mack O’Connor has left the ring and is already through the curtain. Damian is walking up the ramp…he, too disappears behind the curtain. Carrington remains in the ring…Autumn is checking on him while OCW employees apply bags of ice to the back of his neck~
Smith: Disappointing night for Carrington…he’s had a few rough weeks in a row but…the ultimate prize is still three weeks away
Hood: Yes, his highly anticipated MENSA test. I hear he might post a new record score. ESPN is supposed to be there broadcasting the event.
Smith: I’m talking about Stainless Steel Ride…his match with O’Connor for the Paradigm Championship
Hood: Oh, well, yea, he’ll show up for that after he demolishes MENSA with his brain power
Smith: Right…
~Carrington continues to recover from his defeat. He says things like “Mack cheated…I demand a restart!” Scruff has already exited the ring so there’s no ref to execute the order. The OCWTron begins to flicker~
Smith: Something is coming on the tron!
Hood: I hope it’s not some lame commercial
Smith: I don’t think it’s that
~Autumn and Carrington both turn and stare at the Tron as we cut backstage to the parking lot see a freshly showered Matt Meyhu, an angry, two steps ahead of the others C.J. O'Donnell, and a smoldering The Incredible One walking. They head towards a limo but stop when they notice a big television set that has been smashed through the windshield. The t.v. and the front of the limo's hood has been covered in glitter. Meyhu rages at this site and starts screaming obscenities at no one in particular. T.I.O. notices something on the ground. He picks it up and we see that's it's a black mask with a Question mark on it. He shows it to Meyhu and CJ…they both scowl, knowing it must have been left behind by whoever destroyed their vehicle. TIO wads it up, angrily and tosses it aside~
Hood: We almost made it a whole show without that hooded asshole doing anything!
Smith: I think whoever it is was just lulling The Aptitude into a false sense of security.
Hood: As if the Aptitude didn’t have enough problems…this guy who is wearing hoodies in LATE MAY continues to fuck around
Smith: The Aptitude wanted to be the top faction in OCW…well, now they have to pay the price
Hood: I think we’re all overlooking the truly scary fact in all of this
Smith: Okay, what’s that?
Hood: It’s almost summer, IN Florida and some guy is still wearing a hoodie!
Smith: Can we move past his wardrobe choice, please?
Hood: I don’t know…that’s pretty fuckin weird, man
~Carrington is standing, pointing at the screen. He looks at Autumn and says, “Our limo…” Autumn exits the ring, heading up the ramp to check. Carrington remains in the ring, watching her off to investigate~
Smith: The Hooded Figure is probably back there and he’s sending his wife to check on things?
Hood: That’s not what’s happening…she probably just had to use the restroom or something
Smith: I don’t think so, Hood
~Carrington stands near the ropes facing the ramp…he looks up at the Tron which continues to show the Aptitude members investigating the wreckage. TIO shows them the black mask with the question mark on it. Autumn appears, discussing the incident with Meyhu. They both agree to call another limo. Carrington breathes a sigh of relief from inside the ring~
Smith: Well good for Carrington…he’ll get to ride home in a limo after all
Hood: Do you know how uncomfortable it is for a man with that big a brain to ride in anything smaller than a limo?
Smith: That’s ridiculous
~Carrington’s posture relaxes. The lights go out~
Smith: What the heck?
Hood: This has never been good in the entire history of wrestling.
Smith: Has it ever been just a simple electrical problem?
Hood: I don't think so.
~The lights comes back on and a hooded figure is standing behind Carrington. Before he can react, the figure throws a handful of glitter into Carrington's face. As Carrington blindly stumbles around the Hooded figure slams the ring mat with both hands before running into the ropes. On the bounce back, the figure does a clockwise 360 spin and uses the force to nail Carrington with a devastating backhand slap that lays The Teacher out~
Smith: What a hit!!
Hood: What a sign of disrespect!
~With Carrington laid out, the figure lowers their head and slowly raises a hand to the hood. In a swift motion, the hood comes off, only to reveal a head covering mask with a large question mark on the face. They raise a hand to their face and make a shushing gesture before exiting the ring~
Hood: Who the hell is that?!?!?!
Smith: Whoever it is…it’s the same person who attacked the limo
Hood: Just because that guy can’t afford a car doesn’t mean he should destroy other people’s vehicular property!
Smith: I think he’s sending a message…he’s after Meyhu and his band of egomaniacs
Hood: Or is he? That question mark leaves a lot of…questions
Smith: Wow…okay, I guess we’ll end the show there…thanks for joining us everyone…we’ll see you all next week!
~We fade to black~