OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, May 15th 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always, is Hood.
Hood: Can we outlaw glitter? That shit gets EVERYWHERE and is a bitch to remove
Smith: How would you know?
Hood: Because you used to sprinkle it on your shirts!
Smith: MOVING ALONG…what a night we have for you everybody! Eight marquee match ups featuring three #1 contenders match ups.
Hood: How are these #1 Contenders matches, EXACTLY? I mean they don’t GET a title shot if they win, do they?
Smith: Two do, yes. The other two, well, they will face off at Stainless Steel Ride where the winner will meet the loser of Meyhu and TIO for their championship.
Hood: That’s some next level fuckery
Smith: I disagree! A great opportunity for everyone involved!
Hood: But let’s not forget tonight’s TRUE main event…CJ O’Donnell and…hold on, weather report incoming
Smith: We can do without that funny business!
Hood: I’m told the weather looks CLEAR for later this evening…that’s good news for CJ and homeless people everywhere.
Smith: Right…well Mark Storm did unseat the undefeated Damian K’ a few weeks ago and now he’s looking to take down one of OCW’s most accomplished wrestlers of 2017, CJ O’Donnell
Hood: If he does that…we could be in for a STORMY summer
Smith: Indeed…well folks, there’s only so much hype we can throw down on this show…how about…
Hood: What about Aire Rayder? Did he get shipped off?
Smith: No, he escaped the crates and is competing tonight against Talia Areano
Hood: Wow…so you have OCW’s ugliest wrestler against its hottest wrestler…interesting
Smith: Beauty has nothing to do with in ring success…but, as I was saying…let’s head down to ringside and get tonight started…we’ve got a lot of ground to cover!
Rick Mad (1-0) vs. Shootah (0-2)
~Shootah is in the ring. He looks down, nervously at John E Depth. Depth has a club in his hand. He methodically slaps it into his right palm. He points it at Shootah and says “Keep your ass in that ring!” Shootah nods~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 180lbs…Shootah!!!
~"Breadline" by Megadeth begins to play as the lights dim. Smoke billows from the aisle as Rick Mad appears from the darkness. His eyes shoot all over the place and an eerie feeling sets in as his eyes could give the Devil himself the hebejeebees. Rick now focuses his eyes on the ring as he slowly walks down the aisle. Reaching the ring, he slowly climbs to the apron and peers around the arena. The crowd is mixed based on the mystery presenting itself. Rick dives under the top rope and into the ring. He climbs the top turn buckle and just peers out at the crowd with his scary eyes as he jumps down and back into the ring, death glaring the referee~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from The Space Between…standing 6’4 and weighing in at 245lbs…Rick Mad!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: The ominous, strange, quiet…enigmatic Rick Mad with his second match of his career…this week, it’s Shootah
Hood: His last name is Mad, eh?
Smith: Indeed it is
Hood: Do you think the mask is meant to play along with that name…like is the face of a really happy guy underneath that hideous mask?
Smith: I doubt it
~Shootah walks up to Mad. Mad glares at Shootah. Shootah drops to his back and yells, “Get it over with you son of a bitch!” Mad stands over Shootah, looking down at the pathetic excuse for a man~
Smith: Oh come on
Hood: Strange new tactic here by Shootah…I bet he’s gonna roll Rick Mad up or something!
Smith: No, I think he just wants to get pinned with as little pain as possible…he is GIVING this man the win
Hood: To be fair, it isn’t like he’s any more effective when he TRIES to win
Smith: I guess
~Mad stomps on Shootah’s face! Shootah cries out “NOOO!!” and whimpers. Mad pulls Shootah up, hooks him quickly and drops him with a Sister Abigail (Means to an End)!! Shootah is out…Depth collapses outside in an overt act of dismay. Mad places his foot atop Shootah’s chest. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….RICK MAD!!!!!
Smith: Dominating win for the second week in a row…but my question is…when is this guy going to get some real competition? Why has he had TWO easy matches in a row?
Hood: I don’t know, maybe it’s in his contract that he never wrestlers anybody better than Shootah or Puffer
Smith: Then why hire a guy like that?
Hood: Maybe he got MAD during the negotiations and we caved? I mean that mask is pretty freaky…he probably wore that mask into the negotiations and got everything he wanted.
Smith: I hope that’s not the case! I would just like to see him face stiffer competition next week…anyway, we’re just getting started so let’s head backstage before the in ring action continues!
~The camera opens up to show a wide sweeping shot of a majestic meadow surrounded by dew-kissed woods as we hear the lilting, uplifting tones of Rossini’s “Morning Song” from the William Tell Overture beckon a young fawn to stretch awake beside it’s mother doe, a quirky old hoot owl retires back into his tree for his slumber, and a whimsical bunny rabbit raises his little head eating his scrumptious breakfast...until we hear the record scratch and a voice say…~
“Well………...shhhhhhhit.”
~Suddenly the sunrise turns a nefarious blood red and a vicious heavy metal riff blasts sending all the animals running in fear as the screen glitches and we suddenly see the meadow has been overtaken by a menagerie of madness! There’s cross-dressing skimpy leather-clad bikers throwing daggers at the trigger of a dunk tank where Abe Lincoln sits over a pool of what appears to be expired milk, he’s tied up and has an apple in his mouth. We see three “little people” dressed like mimes running for their lives from a sadistic looking clown wielding a giant mallet as he screams…~
Clown: IT’S OKAY!....I’M A DOCTOR!!!!
~We see a lonesome Tony Danza sitting on a rickety bench sadly eating a sandwich and being completely ignored. A little further past that we see a statue of Billy Idol inexplicably dry humping Carol Brady, next we see a giant hairy fat man in a diaper bouncing up and down in a Cars bouncy castle while Japanese nationalist businessmen excitedly flick pennies at him, the last thing we see is those same three little mimes being shoved into a cannon by the clown as a lion roars his approval from his nearby pedestal...the scene suddenly shifts back up onto the hillside where we see “The Iceman” Levi Russow...sitting at a tiny table having a tea party with what appears to be a Zulu warrior. He sips his cup and looks startled at the camera...until he slowly turns around and looks at the scene behind him...before slowly turning back around to said camera and begging…~
Levi Russow: Ohhhhhhhh no...you’re not pinning THIS shit on ME...I had nothing to do with it this time!
~As he says that, the cannon goes off and we see the little people flying through the air with a banner attached to them that says…~
“OCW! HE’S BAAAAACK!”
~We see Levi facepalm and shake his head as we hear the sickening thud of the little people seemingly smacking into the side of the camera van as the screen goes black and we hear Levi bluntly cry…~
Levi Russow: Ahhhhhhhh fuck me…
~As the screen cuts to black we see a promo picture of Levi posing as “Miseria Cantare” by AFI plays with the picture~
RETURNS TO OCW!!!
Smith: Levi Russow is returning to OCW!
Hood: What the fuck was that?
Smith: Levi Russow…he competed for us back in late 2014…his run was cut unfortunately short due to outside the ring issues…this time, though, he appears ready to give it everything he’s got!
Hood: Well I don’t know any people named Levi and I’m not too fond of the name Russow…but, given what I just saw…I am willing to give Levi Russow a second chance!
Smith: He definitely has that CLASSIC OCW vibe to him…it should be very exciting to see how he does this go around
Hood: Fuck yea…Levi for OCW Champ in…what do you think, one month…two?
Smith: Let’s not get hasty…one step at a time. Anyway, Levi will make his in ring return next week…so we have that to look forward to. However, as of tonight we have several more match ups including the exciting PKA! He lost a tough match last week but looks to rebound this week against Puffer
Hood: He fuckin better
Smith: Let’s head down to ringside for this match!
~Puffer is in the ring. He doesn’t look very investigative. Are the losses getting him down? Probably~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Aurora, Illinois…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 215lbs…”Detective” Jack Puffer!!!
~Suddenly "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit hits the PA System and out from the curtain emerges the Ultraviolent Perfectionist - "Grade A" PKA, dressed in all black. A black vest over a shirtless top accompanied by black shorts, boots, and wrist bands. He snarls as he confidently walks down the aisle and slides into the ring. PKA climbs up the turnbuckle and puts his arms out in a crucifix as the fans watch his every move. The camera focuses in on his black hair, his face, his black eyeliner, the intensity in PKA's eyes. He hops off the turnbuckle and he hits the opposite corner to do another pose, arms out in a crucifix. After soaking in the fans' reaction, he hops off the turnbuckle and his music fades out~
Belvedere: And his opponent…from Wichita, Kansas…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 200lbs…PKA!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Well Hood, last week PKA gave Curt Canon a great fight…he pushed the Hall of Famer to the limit and nearly walked away victorious
Hood: Yep…I hear this guy likes to party, so he’s my kinda guy!
Smith: Right…all I’m saying is he’s got an opportunity tonight against Jack Puffer to show his skills and hopefully attain an impressive victory.
Hood: I say it every week…if you can’t beat Jack Puffer well, you might as well go drive a truck or something
Smith: No offense to all you truck driver’s out there! We admire your hard work and dedication!
~Puffer approaches PKA. Puffer slowly extends his business card. PKA accepts the card and looks at it. It’s a very weak looking card. PKA rips it in half. Puffer lowers his head. He then charges at PKA with some pent up rage! He backs PKA into a corner and throws lefts and rights! PKA manages to block most of them from landing. PKA finally knees Puffer in the gut and reverses positions! Puffer is in the corner with PKA peppering him with lefts and rights~
Smith: PKA did not approve of Puffer’s business card
Hood: Nothing about Jack Puffer indicates success
Smith: Sad but true
Hood: I hope PKA beats his ass! Fucker trying to solicit business on OCW air time? Who does he think he is? Alice Knight and her contingent of OWLS?
Smith: Oh Alice, how I miss thee!
Hood: Oh how I don’t
~Puffer falls to his ass, after taking one punch too many. PKA sprints across the ring…he charges in and leaps into the air with a Running Corner Missile Dropkick!! He gets back to his feet and sprints across the ring again…he charges in a second time and delivers a SECOND Running Corner Missile Dropkick!! Puffer is crushed against the buckle…his limps are spaghetti. PKA returns to his feet a third time and sprints across the ring once more…the crowd is really behind him at this point. He sprints in, flies through the air and pummels Puffer in the face with a third Running Corner Missile Dropkick!!! Puffer appears to be out as the fans are behind PKA~
Smith: Three consecutive Running Corner Missile Dropkicks…a trademark of PKA!
Hood: Man, that guy better keep his cardio up…he could be spent after a move like that
Smith: I don’t think it’d be a trademark of his if he couldn’t handle it with relative ease
Hood: You’d be surprised…some wrestlers are really fucking stupid
~PKA drags Puffer out of the corner. He knees him in the gut…hooks him and lifts him into the air and down on his head with a Cross-Arm Brainbuster!! Puffer is out, flat on his back as PKA hurries back to his feet, ready to end this~
Smith: He calls that Darkness Buster…it’s a move he performs in honor of a legendary Junior Heavyweight people referred to as the Man with No Name
Hood: So that’s his name, right?
Smith: No…he’s the Man with No Name
Hood: But if that’s what people call him then he HAS a name
Smith: I’m not having this debate with you, Hood! The point is that’s an extremely devastating maneuver PKA delivers in honor of a legend he obviously crossed paths with at some point
~PKA pulls Puffer up…it’s like picking up a dead body. Puffer has no strength left, no energy. PKA hooks Puffer for a DDT…he lifts him into the air and drops him with an Implant DDT!! Puffer’s face smashes HARD! PKA rolls him over and covers Puffer for the pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd cheers for the new, promising star PKA~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….PKA!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win by PKA…he had a great showing last week against Curt Canon and bounces back this week doing what he was supposed to…taking care of Jack Puffer
Hood: Yep, I like the guy…and I don’t like most people. Hopefully this fucker doesn’t let me down!
Smith: It will be fun to watch his career progress and evolve. Alright folks, the night is still young….
Hood: Oh, I just received word we have an important person WALKING backstage we have to cut to!
Smith: You received word? Why not me?
Hood: You don’t think he’s important, that’s why… cut!
~The camera feed cuts to backstage as we see OCW Paradigm Champion and number one contender to the vacant OCW Championship, the Incredible One, walking backstage with a smirk on his face as the crowd begins to boo the roof off the OCW Arena. He is in business casual clothing and has the belt over his shoulder as he looking around the backstage area. He runs into detective Jack Puffer, who is holding his aching head after his recent match with PKA~
TIO: Hey, Jack, do you have any idea where one half of the OCW Tag Team Champion and OCW Savage Champion, “the Marvel” Matt Meyhu is?
Jack Puffer: Wait, you can’t find Matt Meyhu? So you’ve come to me for my services to find him?
TIO: No, I was with him three hours ago dipshit, I was wondering if he made it to the arena yet.
Jack Puffer: (not listening) He hasn’t made it to the arena?! What if he was kidnapped?! You, Mister Incredible, truly need my services. I have a few packages--
~Jack continues to rant about his detective services as TIO gets red in the face, annoyed, while the crowd laughs at the exchange. Having had enough, TIO grabs Puffer by his neck and hurls him across the room as he hits the painted brick wall hard and lands onto a pile of television equipment. TIO shakes his head and walks off, the crowd booing some more. TIO looks around in empty locker rooms and the common food area before walking down a corridor close to the stage entrance. He walks past a nook but stops as he tilts his head to who he just saw. The camera pans out and the crowd explodes in cheers as MJ Bell is seen leaning against a wall~
TIO: Oh look, it’s Madeline, continuing to sulk about her loss. Get over it, I won, move on with your pathetic life.
~TIO keeps walking but the words struck a nerve with MJ as she gets up and pushes TIO into the wall and is eyeing him, their bodies close~
MJ Bell: I’m not sulking, I’m thinking about how different our match would’ve ended if your minions from the Aptitude never showed up.
TIO: Do you actually think you would’ve won? I don’t have time for you.
~TIO roars with laughter as he nonchalantly pushes her away and continues to look for Meyhu but MJ comes back and smacks TIO in the face, drawing gasps from the crowd. Before TIO can respond MJ begins to yell~
MJ Bell: I have a proposal. TIO vs. MJ Bell, tonight, for your number one contendership to the OCW Championship. No disqualification, everyone banned from ringside. I win - I take your spot versus Matt Meyhu. I lose… I’ll leave you alone.
~TIO continues to rub the spot where MJ smacked him as he appears more annoyed than actually considering it. MJ leans into him, her face a hair away from his~
MJ Bell: Or are you too much of a coward to face me on your own… Ian?
~The crowd is loving this interaction as TIO becomes infuriated over the use of his first name. The tension is quickly subdued for a moment as OCW referee Puff waltz’ by with a hot dog in hand. TIO shoves MJ out of his way and grabs Puff, causing his hot dog to fall~
Puff: Hey!
TIO: I’ll buy you another fucking hot dog - right now you got a match to call now!
~The crowd explodes as TIO pushes Puff towards the curtain as his music begins to play~
Everyone Banned From Ringside
The Incredible One (9-0) vs. MJ Bell (4-4)
STOP - IT’S THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ REMIX!
~MJ Bell has a wide smirk on her face as the camera fades to the stage where a frustrated and enraged TIO walks out, pushing Puff towards the ring, while “Lean Back” by Fat Joe blasts in the arena. He rips his dress shirt off, his title in his hand, dragging across the ramp~
Smith: Folks, what a turn of events here. A huge match to start our evening!
Hood: This is a mistake. TIO was bullied into doing this!
Smith: No he wasn’t! TIO made the decision all on his own!
Hood: Fuck… I hope he knows what he’s doing!
~Down by ringside, TIO throws Puff into the ring and rolls himself in as he throws his belt towards the timekeeper and starts motion for MJ to hurry up. “Are You Coming With Me?” by Crown the Empire hits, the crowd explodes as a determined looking MJ Bell rushes down the ramp, slides into the ring, and hits TIO like a truck with a devastating Fire Rain missile dropkick! TIO bounces off the rope, coming to MJ back first, allowing her to hit her Backdraft backstabber, crumbling TIO to the ground. MJ Bell hooks both of TIO’s legs as Puff falls to the ground for the count~
1…
2…
3!
Smith: Yes!
Hood: NO!
Smith: She did it!
Hood: I mean NO, TIO’s finger is on the bottom rope!
Smith: ...You’ve got be kidding me.
~MJ Bell thought she won it all, starting to celebrate but Puff comes by and show’s a hurt TIO with his pinky finger dangling on the bottom rope. The crowd boo’s heavily as MJ goes to grab TIO but he rolls out of the ring, trying to collect himself. MJ grabs the top rope as uses it to slingshot herself to the outside and connects with a diving crossbody onto TIO. She wastes no time as she helps TIO his feet and then slams his head off the announce table. Hood and Smith get up, out of the way as MJ begins to clear their papers, pens, and bottles off the table~
Hood: Hey, that’s my shit!
Smith: We can get you more water.
Hood: Yeah… sure… that was totally water.
Smith: Wait, what?!
~Having the table completely cleared, MJ elbows TIO a couple of times in the head, cutting him open above the eye, before laying TIO down on the table. She goes into the ring and climbs the closest turnbuckle, staring down at TIO. She amps the crowd up before launching herself off for a moonsault leg drop through the table but TIO, having played possum, roles out of the way at the last second, sending MJ through the table~
Smith: This is not good for MJ!
Hood: Yes! Thank god for a veteran like TIO.
Smith: MJ is as much of an OCW veteran as TIO is.
Hood: But in terms of a wrestling veteran, TIO has MJ by almost a decade.
~TIO is on his knees, panting, but laughing as the crowd boos to his trick while MJ is seen recovering from going through the table. TIO crawls to the ring and looks under it and grabs a steel chair. He slowly gets up and analyzes MJ’s movements, almost as if he is stalking her. He waits for her to get up before cracking her over the head with a chair shot! She falls hard to the ground as you can see the dent in the chair, and blood beginning to trickle from her forehead. TIO wipes his own blood away from his eye as he grabs MJ by her hair and smashes her into the ringside steel steps. He picks her up again by her hair and slams her into the ringside barricade! He looks under the ring for more steel chairs, bringing about five out and laying them on the ground on top of each other~
Smith: What does TIO have in mind?
Hood: I don’t know but it’s going to be awesome!
Smith: TIO does not seem pleased about being in this impromptu match.
Hood: Jeez, you think? All he was doing was looking for his buddy Matt Meyhu and suddenly he’s thrown into this match with his number one contendership on the line that he rightfully won. I’d be annoyed too!
Smith: ...I don’t think you’ve ever talked that much, ever.
Hood: (breathing heavily) Yeah, no kidding.
~TIO gets up, laughing at the pile of chairs, but out of nowhere MJ runs and jumps into him, wrapping herself around him and locking in an octopus hold! TIO cries out in pain as he stumbles around, attempting to shake MJ off him, as she continues to apply increasing pressure on his upper body. TIO drops to one knee, as the pain starts to become unbearable but he gets up quickly, turns around and quickly slams MJ Bell’s side into the ring post. She doesn’t let go of TIO as he lunges himself back into the ringpost so her body is sandwiched between his body and the ringpost, causing her to finally fall to the ground. TIO pants but becomes visibly frustrated, making an X motion with his arms~
Smith: TIO looking to end this early even though it’s been an even fight so far.
Hood: Even?! Sure, MJ just did her best octopus impression, but besides that, it’s all been TIO.
Smith: Not really, and if I’m being totally honest, I think MJ has been out wrestling TIO from the get go.
~TIO looks down at the chairs…he looks down at MJ. He has a sick look on his face. He grabs MJ and tosses her into the ring. He slides in behind…he’s quick to his feet…he picks MJ up, hooks her between his legs and he DRILLS her into the mat with YOU’RE INCREDIBLY FUCKED!! MJ hits hard!! TIO thinks about pinning her, but doesn’t~
Smith: What’s he doing? What does this sick man have in mind for the sweet MJ Bell?
Hood: He’s going to fuck up her Christmas
Smith: Christmas is over seven months away!
Hood: So he’s gonna have to fuck it up good!
~TIO pulls MJ back to her feet…he hooks her between his legs again…he turns, facing the ropes. He hoists MJ up and he tosses her over the top rope with a jackknife powerbomb!! She falls all the way to the floor SLAMMING into the steel chairs!!! Her body is broken…she’s motionless…The Knife Man comes running down with his knife waving all over the place. It snares somebodies shirt, turning it from long to short sleeves. The crowd groans…the go quiet…Scruff begins a count~
Smith: Why? WHY?
Hood: Because, bitch won’t stay down…we’ve seen that time and time again…so, he’s gonna put her down.
Smith: There was NO NEED for that
Hood: TIO is a man who gets shit done…any means necessary.
~Scruff yells “EIGHT!” MJ isn’t moving. It’s clear where this is headed. TIO stands at the ropes, leaning over the top, watching MJ with a sick fascination. Scruff yells “NINE!” The crowd starts to boo. Scruff yells “TEN!” and he calls for the bell~
Belvedere: The winner of this impromptu contest…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!
Smith: I don’t think that’s going to count in the record books, folks…but that fact won’t lessen the pains and injuries suffered by MJ Bell here this evening
Hood: I never thought I’d say this…but maybe going back to the orange hair was a bad idea
Smith: Please, no jokes…not at a time like this
~TIO exits the ring…he stands on the apron and thrusts his arms into the air. The fans boo. He smiles and hops off the apron. He walks toward MJ. The medical staff is working to keep her neck secure while a stretcher is being wheeled down the ramp. The Knife Man stands up to TIO…the fans buzz with excitement~
Smith: Yes! Stand up to him, Knife Man!
Hood: Seriously? Doesn’t the guy hate violence?
Smith: He ABHORS it, Hood
~The Knife Man says, “Let’s talk this out, like gentlemen.” TIO raises his fist. The Knife Man screams and darts out of the way. The giant blade of his knife flashes in the arena lights. TIO laughs and stands over MJ. The medical staff look up at TIO, anxiously. He steps one leg over MJ, grabs his crotch and then brings the other leg over her in an act of complete disrespect. He then heads up the ramp looking very proud of himself~
Smith: What a disgusting man
Hood: He just marked his territory, Smith. MJ is his bitch…we all know it now
Smith: I’m sure Kenshin is going to have something to say about this
Hood: He’s too busy hanging out with Jacqui Monroe
Smith: Don’t you DARE try to cause drama between the greatest couple in OCW history
Hood: Oh could we get any more dramatic…for the love, man. Greatest couple in OCW history? That OBVIOUSLY goes to Paras and Maurako
Smith: Enough…I just hope MJ Bell is okay
~MJ Bell is placed on a stretcher and wheeled out. The Knife Man’s blade slides across one of the straps, securing her down. It nearly severs it. Nobody notices…this is life around The Knife Man. They wheel MJ up the ramp and through the curtain…boos fill the arena…young, female fans are depressed…it’s a rough scene~
Smith: We need a commercial break after that…let’s take you to an ad for OCW Survivor
~We cut back to ringside~
Hood: I'm so glad I watch OCW Survivor...imagine what my life would be without it!
Smith: It's a great, fun show but I doubt it's THAT important...anyway...OCW Survivor airs Friday nights everybody...so be sure and tune in as we get closer to the merge.
Hood: I think Chaotic is taking it all the way!
Smith: That would certainly indicate that anything can happen on...OCW Survivor. Alright, next up we have an advertised match for Jade Spritz and MJ Bell...I don't expect MJ to compete but nobody has told me otherwise so...let's head down to ringside and see what happens
Jade Spritz (3-1) vs. MJ Bell (4-4)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~”Lola Montez” by Volbeat hits. The fans give a mixed reaction to the sultry Jade Spritz. She steps out from behind the curtain and saunters her way to the ring. Jade climbs the steps and enters into the ring~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Los Angeles, California…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 170lbs….Jade Spritz!!!
~Jade Spritz stands in the ring, awaiting the arrival of MJ Bell. However, the crowd and everyone else is very aware of what transpired earlier in the evening~
Smith: Can MJ Bell compete tonight?
Hood: She’d better! As a Hall of Famer she NEEDS to set an example!
Smith: How could she? Did you not see what happened earlier? Take away the destruction she endured at the hands of TIO…she should just happily stroll out here and compete again? That’s assuming she’s physically capable of walking…let’s not forget the image of her being wheeled away on a stretcher!
Hood: Hey, she’s the one mouthing off backstage at our elite talents
Smith: They don’t get more elite than MJ Bell
Hood: Psshaw
Smith: Well folks…she hasn’t come out yet and I don’t think we’re gonna…hold on, what’s this?
Voice: Everybody go on hold! May I be excused, PLEASE!
~The crowd boos as they see The Eastern European standing on top of the ramp, instead of MJ Bell. Jade leans against the ropes nearest the ramp, staring up at EE~
Eastern European: The Jane Spitz is talent of tremendous opportunities! Strong kicks and wonderful slap! I like very much watching her move in ring! The fortune is unlucky this night, howevers. The MJ Bell has accepted major injury! She out for the night and many days. So match has been terminated!
~The crowd boos. A small “FUCK TIO!” chant breaks out. EE tries to calm them down~
Eastern European: Everybody have a head cold! Relax in the seats that you are having for tonight’s show! I come up with GREAT idea! Jane Spitz will face returning star! Man so special he they nickname him ed! Welcome back to the OCW...
Smith: Oh my gosh…who is it gonna be? Could it be Bob Grenier? PerZag? Or, how about one of those veterans from Survivor?
Hood: Did he just call this person retarded…Special Ed?
Smith: Hmm, he might have…so you’re thinking low level veteran like a Tommy Flamer?
Hood: If that’s the fucking case, just give Jade the win…fuck, we don’t need that guy back inside an OCW ring
Eastern European: Please be welcoming man from great land! His name …TRUDA!
~Tibetan chanting fills the arena as TRUDA appears. He’s very much alive and well. He makes his way down the ramp and into the ring. Jade leans back, into a corner, arms folded, staring at the strange OCW wrestler who we all thought would never return~
Smith: Wow, what a let down
Hood: Truda’s beard is looking GREAT
Smith: Is it?
Hood: Nah, I don’t know. Honestly, I never got the whole beard compliment shit…they all look the same to me. Just a bunch of wannabe pubes coming out of some guy’s….OR ugly woman’s face.
Smith: Gross!
~The bell rings. Truda sits, crossed legged on the mat. He starts to meditate. Jade looks around, confused. She steps up to Truda and looks down at the man. Scruff shrugs, not knowing what to really say. He does make the ‘ding’ sound. Jade nods~
Smith: Truda may be meditating but this match IS under way
Hood: I think Jade is going to be cool and give him some space to finish his meditations. The flight from Tibet is probably long and stressful
Smith: I’d agree with the long part
Hood: Oh you know it was stressful. This fucker isn’t being bumped up beyond coach by Welsh.…no fucking way. I’m sure he was sitting next to some screaming baby the entire trip.
~Seductively, Jade reaches down and grabs the back of Truda’s head. The meditating man looks up…he’s got hope in his eyes. He’s excited. Jade caresses his ears an then touches his beard…she doesn’t seem impressed. Truda smiles, looking up into Jade’s eyes. Jade then CRUSHES Truda in the face with a knee! She lifts Truda up, hooks him for a DDT but, instead, drops him with a Twist of Fate!!! Truda is out…Jade flips him over and goes for the pin~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….JADE SPRITZ!!!!!
Smith: Well, that was, something
Hood: I hope they didn’t even pay for that fucker’s coach flight…that was ridiculous!
Smith: I guess that’s why you don’t meditate inside a wrestling ring
Hood: Man, Jade is wicked, isn’t she?
Smith: She certainly is…her powers of seduction are a means of attaining what she desires
Hood: Just keep her away from me!
Smith: I don’t think that will be a problem…anyway…it’s tragic that TIO ruined what could have been a great match…but, that’s how life goes. Instead, Jade secures an easy, impressive win tonight here at Massacre. Let’s head backstage.
~Backstage, ‘The Marvel’ Matt Meyhu paces back and forth in the locker room. He is deep in thought as he rubs his chin and stares straight down. Seated off to the side is his fiancé Tiffany. She casually flips through a magazine about motherhood. Matt’s manager Ezra Rosenberg enters the frame, sending a text message~
Ezra Rosenberg: Hey, Matty! What’s going on, man? You seem nervous.
~No response~
Ezra Rosenberg: Everything okay?
Tiffany: He’s thinking about what his buddy said to him last week.
Ezra Rosenberg: Ahhh… Gotcha. I wouldn’t sweat about it too much, man. Seems like a pretty easy decision to me.
Tiffany: No kidding.
~Tiffany and Ezra begin to speak over each other~
Tiffany: Go win.
Ezra Rosenberg: Let him win.
~Both of them look up from the objects in their hands and lock eyes~
Tiffany: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Ezra Rosenberg: What? It’s the right thing to do! That’s what friends are for, Tiff.
Tiffany: What did you call me?
Ezra Rosenberg: Ms. Tiffany. As Matt’s obvious best friend, I gotta say, this guy has got a heart of gold. That’s why people love him!
~Tiffany raises an eyebrow~
Ezra Rosenberg: Obviously, you need to let your friend win. He’s been waiting. Your time will come! Real soon.
Tiffany: Awww, sweetie… You don’t know Matt very well at all do you?
Ezra Rosenberg: What? Of course I do…
Tiffany: Heart of gold? More like lust for gold. Trust me, he’s going to look out for himself here. And right now, that’s what we need.
Ezra Rosenberg: I don’t believe you. I believe he will-
Matt Meyhu: Shut up! Both of you! I’m right here! This is a tough decision.
~All three sit there, silent, looking around at each other. Ezra looks frightened, Matt looks pissed, and Tiffany couldn’t appear less worried, almost holding back laughter. Ezra finally musters up the courage to break the silence~
Ezra Rosenberg: So… What are you going to do?
~Tiffany’s laughter escapes as Matt shakes his head. He stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind him~
Tiffany: Great job!
~We cut back to ringside~
Smith: It’s a stressful situation in our OCW Title scene. We already saw TIO snap earlier today on MJ Bell…and now Meyhu is apparently stressing over TIO’s request from last week.
Hood: He’s not gonna lay down
Smith: I don’t know, Smith…it seems like he might
Hood: As IF Stainless Steel Ride weren’t already a disaster…a lay down in the main event? Dude, it would be cataclysmic. It would be about as bad as Jack Puffer winning the OCW Title
Smith: Oh dear…Matt Meyhu…you better not lay down!
Hood: That’s what I’m saying!
Smith: Well TIO is frustrated…Meyhu is stressed…you can tell we’ve got a big event on the horizon. Tensions are high…even amongst friends. Anyway, it’s time for some tag team action as Tokyo Knives are set to take on 8 Legged Freaks
Hood: What? Kenshin isn’t going to run off to be with his beloved MJ?
Smith: Stop mocking their wonderful relationship. I’m told Kenshin is unaware of what took place. He’s so focused on his match tonight that no outside interference has penetrated his attention.
Hood: Oh man, she is gonna be pissed
Smith: As a fierce competitor, I’m sure she’ll understand
Hood: Considering she’s a woman…she’ll never understand.
Smith: Terrible thing to say…anyway folks, it’s time for some tag team in ring competition…let’s head down to ringside!
8 Legged Freaks (1-0) vs. Tokyo Knives (1-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall!
~Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' blares through the speakers, as Jacqui M appears on the platform, devil horns already in the air. As she begins to walk down the entrance way, the blonde allows herself a moment to headbang to her entrance tune, before making her way down to the ring. She enters it without much of a fuss, sheds her leather jacket, and waits for the bell to ring.~
Belvedere: Introducing their opponents…first, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 130lbs…Jacqui Monroe!
~The very second the opening chords to "Ride On Shooting Star (FLCL Ending Extended)" by The Pillows strikes, the crowd is already on their feet for Kenshin Takamura as he emerges from the entrance tunnel. With a confident smirk on his face, The Ace of Aces raises his index finger up to the sky, gaining him a thunderous pop as the audience also mirrors him in the stands. This brings a grin to his face before he continues down the entrance ramp, slapping a few hands on his way to the ring. After jogging up the stairs, he crosses the apron and raises an index finger toward the crowd who, once again, mirror him as they cheer him on. Cameras flash like strobe lights as he turns and vaults himself over the ropes. He crosses to the far turnbuckle, pulls himself up, and, once more, raises his index finger toward the crowd, and, you guessed it, they mirror him again and rabidly take pictures. He looks around at the audience with a smile and a nod before backflipping off the top rope, displaying his impressive athletic ability despite his age. As he takes his corner, Takamura stretches out while awaiting the starting bell~
Belvedere: And…making his RETURN to OCW…from Tokyo, Kantō, Japan…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 228lbs….he is a former OCW Internet Champion…Kenshin Takamura!!!
~The crowd goes wild. Kenshin and Jacqui stand side by side in their corner~
Belvedere: Together…they make up the team of TOKYO KNIVES!
~HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nearly blows out the OCW Arena speakers. ”Jump” by Van Halen hits…the crowd leaps to their feet!! Tony the Spider emerges with his fanny pack and shades. Timmy Daddy Long Legs ducks through the curtain to keep from hitting his head. He stands behind Tony…it’s a weird contrast. The duo make their way to the ring. Timmy looks like he could be on some public access commercial about third world starvation. They reach the ring. Timmy steps onto the apron and then over the ropes. Tony rolls like a small child under the bottom rope and into the ring. Timmy helps him to his feet. Despite their awkward appearance the crowd is firmly behind them~
Belvedere: And their opponents…at a total combined with of 400lbs…Tony The Spider Webb and Timmy Daddy Long Legs Webb…8 Legged Freaks!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: A lot of chatter that the winner of this match will face The Aptitude at Stainless Steel Ride for the OCW Tag Team Titles
Hood: Mother of God
Smith: What?
Hood: That means Tony the Spider is one fluke win away from competing for a title
Smith: Yes, yes it does
~Monroe starts things off for Tokyo Knives. Timmy stands in the ring representing 8 Legged Freaks. He approaches Monroe. The size difference is staggering. Timmy throws a really slow chop at Monroe’s head…she ducks and goes after his left knee. She hits it with kicks, repeatedly. Timmy turns sideways, protecting his left. He takes some weight off that left leg while wincing. Jacqui goes after his right leg…she throws repeated kicks to the back of the knee. Timmy wobbles before finally falling over onto his back. The crowd gives a solid applause for Monroe’s effort~
Smith: She chopped the giant Timmy Webb down
Hood: Damn man, she’s fucking vicious. I feel like she needs to be in a cage when she isn’t wrestling
Smith: Based on stories I’ve heard from her back in Japan…Kenshin might agree with you there
Hood: I wonder how Jacqui and MJ get along.
Smith: That’s none of our business, Hood
~Jacqui stays on top of Timmy, stomping away at his long, frail physique. Timmy slowly rolls onto his stomach, protecting some of the more vulnerable parts of his anatomy. Jacqui throws a kick to the back of Timmy’s head…it’s flush, direct and damaging. Timmy’s movements, while slow to begin with, decrease. Jacqui, instinctively, backs into a corner, preparing for something~
Smith: Could we be on the verge of seeing the Jacqui Kick?
Hood: Fuck…I think both of Monroe’s matches have lasted a combined total of ninety seconds so…probably.
Smith: Indeed, she has made quick work of OCW’s competition thus far
Hood: She’s like a cross between that thing from The Ring and Goldie Hawn
Smith: What an unflattering comparison!
Hood: Hey, I’m just saying
~Tony reaches into his fanny pack. Monroe is standing in the Webb’s corner. Tony pulls out a KNIFE. He swings it at Monroe, hitting her in the neck. She grabs her neck and looks at Tony with shock. Tony laughs. Jacqui looks down at her hand…there’s no blood. She feels her neck, it’s fine. The impact was nothing more than an aggressive poke. She’s engulfed with anger. She lunges with a forearm, drilling Tony in the face!! Tony falls off the apron, dropping his knife. He laughs while lying on his back…the laugh is uttered in pain filled spurts~
Smith: What did that man do? Did he try to STAB Jacqui?
Hood: I think so…with those weak ass knives he bought over the internet
Smith: How is that not potential homicide?
Hood: Because those knives suck ass, Smith.
~Jacqui glares at Tony. She finally turns around and Timmy jumps, slowly into view. He splashes Monroe into the corner. He steps back…Monroe stumbles out and Timmy picks her up and drops her onto the mat with a sloppy body slam. The fans cringe as Jacqui almost lands on her head. Timmy then makes his way toward the corner with something in mind~
Smith: Oh dear…what does he have in mind?
Hood: A 720 corkscrew moon sault shooting star lariat!!
Smith: No
Hood: Don’t doubt Timmy…he’s got sneaky athleticism
~Timmy reaches the top…his balance is more than a little suspect. He jumps off…his knees hit the mat first…but a decent portion of his body lands on top of Monroe! Timmy winces from the impact of his frail knees to the mat…he manages to make a cover. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Not even close
Hood: I guess I overestimated Timmy’s athleticism
Smith: I don’t know why
Hood: Have you seen spiders jump…or, well, jumping spiders jump? They can jump FAR
Smith: Timmy isn’t an actual spider…he’s just a tall, lanky, pole of a man
Hood: I’m not sure if Timmy would feel comfortable…OR Mama Webb for that matter, about you talking about his pole
~Jacqui kicks out with force. She quickly locks Timmy in a front face lock. She drags him near the team’s corner. Kenshin is calmly waiting. Jacqui reaches back and tags Takamura! The crowd erupts with cheers for the decorated OCW star. Kenshin steps through the ropes. He hooks Timmy around the waist…Jacqui releases the front face lock. Takamura tosses Timmy across the ring with a Release German Suplex!! The seven foot twig lands on his shoulders and remains motionless, folded in half. Kenshin returns to his feet~
Smith: Look at the composure of Kenshin…I think his equanimity balances Jacqui’s impulsiveness
Hood: That or she’s worn him down…he looks tired to me
Smith: He doesn’t look tired…the man is stoic…he’ll fire up when the time is right
Hood: I don’t know about that…hasn’t he known Monroe since the early 2000’s? Shit man, I’m surprised he’s still sane
~Timmy gets to his knees. Takamura stands in front of the lankier Webb. He throws a kick into Webb’s chest. It THUMPS loudly. Kenshin repeats this action numerous times with the crowd counting along. They finally reach “TWELVE” as Takamura throws lucky number thirteen in for good measure. Sweat bounces off the chest of Timmy from its impact. He falls over, onto his back~
Smith: Kenshin has taken control of the match, the ring and this crowd…his presence is unshakable.
Hood: He kicked the hell out of Timmy…seriously, whatever demons Timmy may have had were kicked right out of him
Smith: Demons?
Hood: Timmy’s got trailer park written all over him, Smith. And, well, instead of saying things like “bad” or “fiendish” they say shit like “Boy’s got them demons in him!”
Smith: I wouldn’t know
Hood: You talkin shit about my upbringing?
Smith: Not at all
~Kenshin heads for the nearest corner…it happens to be the one belonging to the Webbs. Tony is seated on the apron, chuckling. Kenshin climbs to the top…he’s getting ready for High Fly Flow! Tony reaches up and shakes the top rope!! Kenshin loses his balance. He hops down onto the mat, safely. Tony gets to his feet and unzips his fanny pack…he reaches inside. Kenshin turns to address Tony with controlled anger. Tony swings and DRILLS Kenshin in the chin!! Kenshin staggers back and falls to the mat! The crowd gasps with shock. Tony roars with laughter. He puts his hand back into his fanny pack and zips it shut. He reaches out for Timmy to make a tag~
Smith: He just knocked Kenshin out with one punch…what the heck is in that fanny pack??
Hood: Nothing…Tony was a golden gloves boxer!
Smith: In his dreams, maybe
Hood: I don’t want to know what that man dreams about
~Timmy is so damn tall that he doesn’t have to crawl very far. It works because Tony’s arms are ridiculously short. Timmy rolls onto his stomach, crawls a few feet and makes the tag!! Tony tries to fly through the ropes…his foot gets caught and he falls to the mat. It doesn’t deter his enthusiasm…he crawls over to Takamura and covers him…Scruff slides in for the count, the crowd stands looking in shock~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: Takamura kicked out! Thank heavens!
Hood: Man, you really hate the Webbs
Smith: This is a sport, okay? Do those ‘wrestlers’ look like athletes?
Hood: I mean Kenshin kinda does but definitely not…
Smith: I’M TALKING ABOUT THE EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS
Hood: Geez, calm down. They look more athletic than your hero, Alice Knight
Smith: That’s it…we are DONE with this conversation
~Kenshin kicks out with force. Tony flies off Takamura’s body and lands near the ropes. Takamura rolls over and gets to his feet. He wobbles a bit, he feels his jaw. His eyes seem to indicate that he knows he was hit with something illegal. He turns to face Tony. Tony gets to his feet…he laughs at Kenshin. Takamura loads up for a move…Tony tries to unzip his fanny back in a hurry…but he can’t get it open in time…Kenshin drops Tony with a ROARING ELBOW!! Tony flattens out on the mat. Kenshin heads to his corner where he tags in Jacqui~
Smith: Good night Tony…he won’t be getting up from Tsunami Crash
Hood: What a mean, mean man…Kenshin wouldn’t let Tony dig into his fanny pack
Smith: Probably because Tony was searching for something illegal
Hood: No way…my sources tell me Tony has asthma. I think he was searching for his inhaler
Smith: Doubtful
~Monroe enters into the ring and goes straight for Tony. She applies that front face lock she had Timmy in earlier. Only this time she uses it to initiate Drop Dead Gorgeous!! Tony laughs as his face is driven into the mat!! His body goes limp, Monroe rolls him over and makes the cover…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings as the crowd gives a strong ovation~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…TOKYO KNIVES!!!!!
Smith: Impressive win by Tokyo Knives…they were the strong favorites and they did not disappoint
Hood: Fuck…I was really pulling for 8 Legged Freaks…they are my kinda team!
Smith: Well, once again, you prove to have terrible judgment. Like Iggy Hardy, 8 Legged Freaks would be terrible champions.
Hood: YOU have terrible judgment
Smith: Nice one…and, on that note, let’s head to some footage from a location far from Key West…Marcus Welsh’s OCW office!
Hood: Man has a great job
~We cut to the waiting room outside of Welsh’s office. He’s standing, watching Massacre on the large, flat screen which is mounted on the wall behind his secretary’s desk. His secretary is toiling away, paying no attention to the show. Welsh observes Tokyo Knives exiting the ring after their impressive win~
Marcus Welsh: Okay...so the Knives are in. Janet, did you hear me?
Janet: Yes sir, Mr. Welsh.
~She responds without looking up, continuing to work~
Marcus Welsh: Great. Draw up the contracts…The Aptitude against Tokyo Knives at Stainless Steel Ride. But, leave the option open for a third team.
Janet: Will do, Mr. Welsh.
Marcus Welsh: Speaking of that third team...did they ever return any of our calls? I’d like to get a contract ironed out as soon as possible...that way we can begin marketing their appearance at Stainless Steel Ride.
Janet: Nothing yet, Mr. Welsh. But I will place two more calls this evening and then continue calling first thing in the morning.
Marcus Welsh: Satisfactory work as always, Janet. I’m going to head out…I’ll expect a Massacre synopsis on my desk when I return in the morning.
Janet: Yes sir, Mr. Welsh.
~Welsh exits the office as we cut back to ringside~
Smith: Huge announcement! We are getting Tokyo Knives against The Aptitude at Stainless Steel Ride for the OCW Tag Team Titles!
Hood: Yea but what about this third team?
Smith: The Dravers, you think?
Hood: Hmm, could be…definitely a marquee name, otherwise he wouldn’t give two shits about hurrying up to attach their name to the promotion
Smith: Indeed…good catch, Hood. Alright folks, it’s time for our next match as Robbie Rayder and Talia Areano square off in a contest featuring two competitors looking to bounce back from tough losses on week ago. Let’s head down to ringside!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following match is scheduled for one fall!
~”Taking Over Me” by Evanescence begins to play. The crowd gives a good, positive reaction to the entrance of Talia Areano. She hustles down the ramp, toward the ring. She seems to have an eagerness about her…ready for tonight’s opportunity. She hops onto the apron and slides through the ropes~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Buenos Aires, Argentina by way of Mexico City…standing 5’6 and weighing in at 125lbs…Talia Areano!!!
~The lights dim as a red siren light circles the arena. 'Indestructible' by Disturbed plays as Robbie Rayder, weighing his ring attire and color matching cape, walks out and kneels down. He points his index fingers to the ceiling then lowers them to point at the ring. Rayder looks out at the crowd as he walks half way down towards the ring, then pulling the cape off from his neck. He slides into the ring, front flips up, drops to a knee and points to the ceiling again, then lowers his index fingers to point at the opponent~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Vancouver, British Columbia…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 195lbs…Robbie ‘Aire’ Rayder!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Robbie lost a tough match last week against CJ. It’s a loss he took very personally…here’s hoping he can rebound tonight.
Hood: What about Talia Areano? She’s got shit on the line as well!
Smith: I’m pulling for her too…it’s just, man, Robbie is pouring his heart into OCW and he’s due for some return on that investment.
Hood: Well, it’s all about winning. You win, you move up. So dude’s gotta stop getting close and start sticking some of the landings.
Smith: Indeed
~Robbie approaches Talia and extends his hand. Talia shows no apprehension. She shakes it…Robbie reaches out and pats her hand while they shake in an act of sincerity. Talia nods. They release the hand shake with the crowd cheering them out. Both competitors are light on their toes as they begin to circle one another~
Smith: There aren’t many people in this business you can trust…but, Robbie Rayder is certainly one of them.
Hood: Probably why he keeps getting beat…you can’t be successful AND clean at the same time
Smith: Yes you can!
Hood: Bullshit, name one OCW Champion who was pure
Smith: Eh…well…I…umm…we need to get Harold this Historian out here!
~Rayder and Talia lock up. Talia quickly ducks out of the lock and wraps her arms around Rayder’s waist from behind. Rayder works on her grip, trying to release her hands. Talia release and reaches up, she hooks Rayder, quickly, into a Full Nelson. Rayder snaps forward…Talia tumbles over his back and lands on her feet. She sprints into the ropes, bounces off and gets DRILLED in the gut by a mule kick! She staggers into the ropes, falling through the top and middle. She rests on the apron, holding her midsection in pain~
Smith: Nice start, offensively by both participants. Robbie’s quickness earned him the advantage.
Hood: Yea Talia is quick but…and mother fucker I say this every week, Rayder is the quickest asshole we’ve got on the roster.
Smith: So you’re, in a way, complimenting him
Hood: Shit, it’s always good to be quick. Unless you’re a porn star
~Rayder provides Areano with enough time to re-enter. She does after a few seconds of recovery. She circles Rayder while holding her stomach with one hand. Rayder rushes toward her and slips around, hooking her from behind in the same manner she hooked Rayder. Rayder forces Areano into the middle of the ring and then tosses her for a German. Areano lands on her feet and hits the ropes. Rayder turns around and is met with a flying forearm!! He staggers into the ropes and, much like Areano, spills through the middle and top, landing on the apron. He holds his head in pain, checking to see if it’s been busted open~
Smith: That wound is still susceptible to being re-opened. It’s only been a week.
Hood: CJ always leaves his mark
Smith: Anybody could have done that damage using the dastardly methods CJ deployed. A belt to the head…unbelievable.
Hood: It’s Rayder’s fault for having such a ginormous forehead!
Smith: Oh please
Hood: He would have been a terrible boxer
~Rayder gets to his feet…Talia sprints his way. She leaps in the air. Rayder CATCHES Talia while standing on the apron. He hoists her into the air for a press slam. Talia writhes around, trying to get free. Rayder drops her…she falls to the floor but lands almost cat like, safely on her hands and feet. She stands upright and yanks Rayder’s feet out from under him. He falls and SMACKS his face onto the apron! He falls to the floor instantly, reaching for his wounded head~
Smith: Until it fully heals, that spot is going to bother him
Hood: If it doesn’t heal…does that mean he has AIDS?
Smith: HE DOESN’T HAVE AIDS
Hood: Hey, I didn’t say he did. I’m just saying that wound has yet to heal and well, you know, people are beginning to talk.
Smith: NOBODY is talking about that. The man has been busted open two weeks in a row. It’s a perfectly normal healing injury.
~Fortunately, Rayder’s wound stays shut. Talia walks up the steps, reaching the third and ultimate step. She leaps off with a leg drop, landing it across the chest of Rayder! Rayder cluches his chest in pain. Areano quickly returns to her feet. She peels Rayder off the ground and tosses him into the ring. Talia hops onto the apron and waits for Rayder to reach his feet…he does…Areano hops onto the top rope and springs off with a crossbody…she connects!! She falls on top of Rayder for a count…Scruff slides in~
1!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Can’t fault the effort but it’s going to take more than that to pin Robbie Rayder
Hood: Fucking guy fought around, inside and THROUGH a crate last week…a fucking cross body is child’s play
Smith: Indeed
Hood: And not the Chucky kind of Child’s Play cause, ya know, that was kind of dangerous…seems stupid to call it child’s play. I might have gone with Night of the Living Doll or something
Smith: It’s a good thing you weren’t in the room when they named that film
~Areano is back to her feet. She remains focused. She runs into the ropes. Rayder rolls onto all fours. Areano bounces off the ropes. Rayder gets to his knees…Areano jumps at Rayder, wrapping her legs around his head…she then slams Rayder, head first with a hurricanrana!! His head SMACKS into the mat!! He falls over onto his back, holding his forehead in pain. The crowd gets behind Talia with chants of “TALIA!”~
Smith: It’s been a rough month for Rayder…he’s been wrestling nonstop…taking brutal shots to the head…you have to wonder if fatigue isn’t FINALLY setting in
Hood: I’d fucking hope not…guy in that kind of shape.
Smith: Even people in tremendous shape suffer fatigue, Hood
Hood: Then fuck being in shape if that’s the case
~Talia pulls Rayder to his feet…he’s far from stable…possibly concussed. Talia throws a KNOCKOUT punch!! Rayder collapses from first. Talia rolls him over and goes for a pin, she hooks a leg~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Closer
Hood: Fucking LOVE nine inch nails? You listening to that song on your phone or something?
Smith: I’m talking about the match…you know, the one we’re being paid to call?
Hood: Ohhh, yea, sure…fucking Rayder might lose to this sexy ass Latina.
~Talia pops back to her feet…she pulls Rayder to his. She hooks him for a stunner…she then runs toward the ropes looking for Slice of Heaven!! She runs up the corner and flips over Rayder…Robbe, though, pulls out from under her arm and hooks Talia’s head while she’s in midair…he drops her with a diamond cutter!!! The crowd goes wild!! Talia is face down on the mat while Robbie sits up…he rubs his forehead and rolls onto his side, still feeling the pain from Talia’s punishment~
Smith: Wow, what a counter!
Hood: Talia should know better than to do any aerial moves against a guy named Aire Rayder!
Smith: Fairly solid observation
Hood: Yea well you know me…I’m all about the proper dissection of these pro wrestling things
Smith: Matches!
Hood: No thanks, I use lighters like a normal, twenty first century person
~Robbie climbs to his feet…he wears the expression of a man enduring a really rough headache. He grabs Talia by the arm and pulls her up. She looks half unconscious. Robbie lifts her into a fireman’s carry…Talia elbows Robbie in the side of the head. He drops her…she lands behind him…she’s suddenly awake. She runs into the ropes, bounces off and eats a spin kick!!! She’s about to fall over…Robbie hooks her from behind and drops Talia on her head with a dead lift German Suplex!!~
Smith: Great combination by Aire Rayder...he’s in the driver’s seat now
Hood: Might need some Excedrin after this match!
Smith: Those are bad for you
Hood: Dude, I don’t give a shit…when I have a massive headache my liver or kidneys can fuck off. I’m taking whatever little white pill is within reach
Smith: Hey, it’s your body
~Robbie pops to his feet…Talia is on her back, struggling. He hurries to the nearest corner and quickly ascends to the top. He straightens up and is poised for Aire Rayde. He leaps off, twisting and turning fluidly through the air…he comes crashing down…Talia rolls out of the way!! Robbie is able to adjust and land on his hands and knees. He starts to stand up…Talia jumps from behind and drops him with a ZigZag!! Robbie hits the mat hard, Talia goes for the pin~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Close one! Talia avoided the Aire Rayder and nearly stunned Rayder just enough for the three count
Hood: Man it’s like this match is on fast forward…both of these wrestlers are fucking quick!
Smith: Indeed…an interesting clash of speed and quickness
~Talia returns to her feet…she grabs Rayder by the ears and yanks him up. She hooks him for a Stunner and runs into the ropes…she’s looking for Slice of Heaven! She runs up the corners…Robbie pushes her off!! She flips over, landing on her feet. She shoves Robbie forward…he staggers into the corner but grabs the top ropes…he leaps up and places his feet around Talia’s head…he throws his legs forward and shoots Talia face first into the middle buckle!! She stumbles backward, hitting the mat. Robbie quickly hops onto the top buckle…the crowd rises to their feet~
Smith: Aire Rayde! He’s in perfect position!
Hood: Fucking guy HAS to be related to Checkers
Smith: Robbie Rayder is not a monkey…just a really athletic man
Hood: Okay so he’s like Tarzan…maybe he was RAISED by monkeys! Was Tarzan raised by monkeys?
Smith: I…I couldn’t tell you
~Rayder leaps off. He twists and turns in the air before splashing on top of Talia with the Aire Rayde!! The crowd goes wild…Rayder hooks Talia’s leg as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….ROBBIE ‘AIRE’ RAYDER!!!!!
Smith: He did it!! Impressive win by Aire Rayder!
Hood: Fuck…yea, once he got Talia down he didn’t screw around
Smith: Indeed he did not…what are you looking at on your phone?
Hood: Tarzan WAS raised by monkeys, says here on Wikipeida…OR, to be more precise, APES
Smith: Well I’m glad we are all aware of that
Hood: We should probably all read more
Smith: Great advice for people watching at home!
Hood: But who has time for that shit, honestly? Besides, some studio is going to make a movie off of any book that’s worth a shit anyway…just wait for that
Smith: Regardless of Hood’s inane ramblings…Robbie Rayder bounces back this week with a great win as he looks primed for a run here in OCW
Hood: Yea, guy’s getting better, for sure
Smith: Indeed! Well...
~"Down" by Otep hits in the arena and Julliet runs out from behind the curtain. She stops midway to survey the crowd and continues to run down the ramp and into the ring. Once in the ring, she leans her weight against a middle rope and points toward the fans who are cheering then she grabs for a mic and takes center stage as she tries to catch her breath.~
Julliet Brooks: Last week I was invited to attend the show, so of course I had to say yes, but little did I know something unexpected was about to happen. I was pulling up at the arena in my limo and out of nowhere I was viciously assaulted by this mystery man. Hell it could be a woman behind the mask for all we know, but regardless of who is behind it, what they did to me sure did piss me off, and no one likes a pissed off Julliet Brooks. Now I don't recall every detail of the attack, but I do recall waking up lying on a hospital bed.
~You can hear the aggressiveness in her tone, she lowers the mic down. The crowd doesn't approve of what they just heard, so they start booing~
Julliet Brooks: I don't like it as much as you guys. On the bright side I'm feeling much better and I need answers, so I ask.. no, no I demand that this mystery attacker bring their ass to the ring and confront me face to face right now.
~The camera turns to the entranceway where we await the music of the mystery person, but after some time nothing is heard nor is he to be seen. The crowd continues to boo. Meanwhile in the ring, Julliet is pacing back and forth. She stops and pulls her hair as frustration sets in~
Julliet Brooks: You just showed me, and these fans what a coward you are. That's alright, because I have a solution. You see as many of you know I don't have an opponent named at Stainless Steel Ride and I couldn't think of anyone else that I'd rather get on hands on than you, so what do you say?
~The crowd chants "YES." Julliet nods~
Julliet Brooks: My patience is wearing thin, so I expect an answer soon. If you choose to accept this challenge you will suffer the same kind of inevitable pain that I once did.
~Her music hits once more and the mic drops as she stares intensely at the camera before leaving the ring and heads backstage~
Smith: Alright Julliet!! She’s fired up and she’s not going to take this abuse!
Hood: Yea but who is the mystery attacker? I mean, at the rate things are going with this guy…he’ll just attack one more chick tonight
Smith: He hasn’t so far…it could be that his attacks were a way to draw Julliet Brooks out? I mean, with all due respect to the women who he’s laid out so far…they are all talented and could be future stars…but Julliet Brooks is one of the most accomplished names in women’s wrestling history.
Hood: So he wants to make a fucking statement…fuck women’s wrestling?
Smith: I didn’t say that…I’m just saying if he doesn’t attack anyone tonight then we might have our answer. The attacker might have received exactly what he wanted and, if that’s the case, Julliet may have fallen into a dangerous trap
Hood: Hmm…
Smith: Yes, it is interesting, Hood. So we’ll have to keep our eyes open and see if any…
Hood: Wait a minute! MJ was attacked!
Smith: She was beat up by TIO…that wasn’t an attack
Hood: It was fucking vicious
Smith: Yes but that doesn’t fit this attacker’s code at all. As heinous as that assault was on MJ that was nothing like what we’ve seen. In my mind, an attack has yet to occur
Hood: Well, if you say so.
Smith: Alright folks...it’s time for our first of three contendership matches as Iggy Hardy and Josie Barnes do battle…let’s head down to ringside!
Iggy Hardy (9-4) vs. Josie Barnes (4-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest will be conducted under SAVAGE rules. The winner of this match will go on to compete in a POTENTIAL Savage Championship match at Stainless Steel Ride.
~”The Fighter” by In This Moment begins to play. The fans get on their feet and offer a very likable, cheery response for Josie Barnes. She steps out from behind the curtain with anxiety in her face. She’s got a HUGE task in front of her. She sets down the ramp and doesn’t exert any wasted energy. She rolls in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet in the center of the ring~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Lilly, Georgia…standing 5’2 and weighing in at 118lbs…Josie Barnes!!!
~Eddie Van Halen's amazing fucking guitar rift controls the sound system, volume MAXED out as "Top of the World" by Van Halen plays, Iggy Hardy emerges from the darkness, hair and body soaked in water. His muscles ripple as he walks down the aisle, flexing his muscles and gyrating his hips to the Van Halen tune. He slaps a couple fans high five, he stops to the prettiest girl he finds and shoves his tongue down her throat. He saunters the rest of the way to the ring as he climbs the steps and enters the ring. He thrusts his hips at Belvedere, he then randomly does a handstand as he gears up for his match~
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Hawk’s Bluff, North Carolina…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 245lbs…Iggy Hardy!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Tough, tough loss last week for Iggy Hardy. He was so close to defeating Bradley Carrington but, fell just short.
Hood: Justice, Smith…Justice. The Professor might as well be the OCW’s official in ring drug tester. He prevented a cheater like Iggy Hardy from potentially winning a belt TIO has worked so hard to make famous.
Smith: Well he’s got a shot now at the Savage belt
Hood: This fucking company, I swear
~Iggy approaches Josie. She treats him like she would a normal opponent. The only problem is…Iggy is far from normal. She tries to shake Iggy’s hand, but he calmly brushes it aside. He then starts to talk. Josie’s face wrinkles as she listens. Iggy finishes and smiles…Josie rolls her eyes. Iggy holds up his index finger indicating “one more.” Josie folds her arms. Iggy talks again…this time we hear a portion of his spiel. Iggy says, “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?” Josie shakes her head and turns her back on Iggy, heading into her corner~
Smith: I think Iggy is trying to hit on Josie
Hood: Dude’s pickup lines are about as up to date as his wardrobe
Smith: He does realize this is a wrestling match, right?
Hood: Fuck, I think that’s where he’s headed…albeit a different type of wrestling.
~Iggy’s eyes become fixated. He’s staring at Josie’s ass. And, well, let’s not kid ourselves…it’s a great ass. Iggy licks his lips. He marches forward, in an almost hypnotic state. His chest bumps into Josie’s back as his hands reach down around her hips~
Smith: What is he doing!
Hood: This is sexually intense Iggy Hardy!
Smith: Oh for the love…somebody get him off her!
~Josie’s eyes flare…she finds Iggy’s behavior inappropriate. In a defensive reaction, she kicks her leg back. It drills Iggy right in the crotch!! Iggy steps back, doubling over. He reaches the middle of the ring…Josie turns around and runs and Iggy…she delivers a knee lift to this face!! Iggy falls onto his back. The crowd gives Josie a nice ovation. Several butch looking women yell out, “Atta girl! Don’t let that disgusting man put his grubby hands on you!”~
Smith: Good for Josie! You can’t let someone invade your personal space like that
Hood: Dude, Iggy was just going for a German Suplex
Smith: I’ve NEVER seen a German Suplex start out like that before
Hood: That’s because most people do it wrong. Iggy Hardy knows how to properly apply a German Suplex
~Josie drops a leg across Iggy’s throat and chest. She hops back to her feet, quickly and rushes into the nearest corner. She waits for Iggy to get to his feet…he does and she springs in…Iggy is bending over, at the waist…Josie grabs his head and drops him to the mat with a swinging neck breaker!! Iggy hits the mat hard, holding his neck in pain. The crowd continues to further rally behind Josie Barnes~
Smith: This is surprising…Josie has taken the fight right to Mr. Pectacular himself!
Hood: Fucking bitch…kicks him right in the dick…that move should be outlawed in ALL matches
Smith: Well, it’s not.
Hood: Are you a fucking eunuch? Like, seriously, you act as though that’s not the most heinous act in history
~Josie returns to her feet. The crowd is firmly behind her…with their cheers. Not LITERALLY. She heads toward a corner and props up on the middle rope. Iggy slowly reaches his feet…he turns toward Josie…she leaps off, grabs Iggy’s head and drills him into the mat with a Tornado DDT!!! Iggy’s head SMACKS into the mat…he flips over onto his back and is breathing heavily as the crowd chants “BARNES!” Josie gets to her feet and nods her head along with the cheers~
Smith: That meek, unsure girl we saw a little over a month ago appears to be maturing into a confident woman.
Hood: Did she spend the night with Jade Spritz?
Smith: Certainly not!
Hood: I’m just saying…Spritz is the kinda woman that will make a person grow up FAST
~Josie returns to her feet…she’s in complete control. She hangs back in a corner with a watchful eye on Iggy. The crowd claps their hands, feeding her some momentum. Iggy slowly staggers to his feet…his legs wobble, his eyes are heavy. Josie lunges forward and superkicks Iggy right in the face!!! Iggy falls onto his back. Josie covers Iggy…Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!!
Smith: Wow! Josie Barnes nearly ended Iggy’s night way sooner than we all anticipated
Hood: He’s getting his ass kicked by a rookie…what is she, like 15?
Smith: DEFINTELY 18…probably over 21…come on, Hood. Fifteen?
Hood: Hey man, you never know when it comes to those Eastern European’s hiring practices
Smith: You have a point
~Iggy rolls onto his stomach after the nearfall. Josie spots an opportunity and she quickly applies an STF!! Iggy yells in pain as Josie leans back, torqueing his neck! Scruff asks Iggy if he wants to quit…Iggy shakes his head NO. Josie continues to apply pressure as the crowd stomps their feet, hoping to see a tap out~
Smith: Josie Barnes is DOMINATING this match up…these fans are solidly behind her and, I think she’s close to sealing the victory.
Hood: Fucking shocker, man. Iggy Hardy was the hottest wrestler in OCW a few weeks ago…he lost to Carrington and, well, it’s like he doesn’t give a fuck
Smith: You never know what a loss can do to a person’s psyche
Hood: THAT or Iggy didn’t re-up with his supplier this week and he’s totally depressed
~Iggy finally shows some signs of life. He starts to shake and power up…he isn’t getting intense. It’s more of a normal burst of energy. Iggy fights to his feet…he’s got Josie in his arms…she’s still holding on to the move even though, at this point, it’s not really doing anything. Iggy falls to the mat and, in the process drops Josie with a Sidewalk Slam!! She releases the hold and reaches for her back in pain. The crowd quiets down~
Smith: Finally, we see Iggy utilize the incredibly disparate size and strength advantage he holds over his opponent.
Hood: Nice to know Iggy is still alive
Smith: Well, I thought that was pretty obvious given the fact he showed up and walked down to the ring
Hood: Nah man, I’ve heard people can walk around for HOURS after they die
Smith: Yea, I don’t think that’s 100% accurate
~Iggy returns to his feet. He tries to get intense…but it just isn’t working. He sprints around the ring…he yells…but he quickly gets tired and staggers into a corner. He wheezes for air while staring at the mat. In the meantime Josie returns to her feet having recovered from the very pedestrian Side Walk Slam. PEDESTRIAN SIDE WALK slam…good one! She spots Iggy wheezing in the corner and runs in with a splash!! It’s enough to keep Iggy pinned…she climbs to the middle rope and punches Iggy in the face repeatedly as the crowd counts along~
Smith: Josie is back on top
Hood: I like the sound of that!
Smith: In control…
Hood: Even better!
Smith: Dang it, she’s dominating
Hood: Wooohooo!!
Smith: I’m just going to watch
Hood: Sounds about right
~Iggy kind of gets intense! The crowd gasps. He hooks his arms around Josie’s legs and carries her toward the center of the ring. Josie tries fighting out of it…Iggy’s veins start to bulge…he drops Josie with an inverted Atomic Drop!! He then knocks her to the mat with a shoulder block!! Josie hits hard! The fans all anticipate some intensity…but Iggy starts to slow…he fades and stumbles into a nearby corner~
Smith: Iggy just can’t maintain that intensity
Hood: That Carrington loss really fucked him up
Smith: It might have…could we be seeing the downfall of Iggy Hardy?
Hood: Newfound sobriety has ruined many lives, Smith. Let’s hope Iggy can get his hands back on some drugs.
~Again, Josie returns to her feet to find a winded, weakened Iggy. She runs in and lifts a knee into Iggy’s face! She holds onto Iggy’s head and drags him into the center of the ring. She plants his face into the mat with a Bulldog!! Josie isn’t done…she pops to her feet and heads for the nearest corner. She scales the buckles, reaching the top. She leaps off with a Guillotine Leg Drop!!! She goes for the pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Is Iggy just GIVING up?
Hood: Hey, he shouldered out of that one
Smith: Yea but Josie might as well be facing Jack Puffer at this juncture
Hood: Let’s get serious…she would have pinned Puffer HOURS ago and the match has only been going on for about ten minutes…yea, that’s how bad Jack Puffer is
~Josie slaps the mat in frustration…it’s not directed at Scruff…more at the situation. She returns to her feet and leans against the ropes…Iggy slowly rises. Josie uses the ropes for momentum and sprints off…she flies through the air with a flying forearm into Iggy’s face!! Iggy staggers backward, falling through the ropes. He lands on the apron~
Smith: More Josie offense…this has been pretty one sided
Hood: The USS Hardy is GOING DOWN
Smith: It looks that way…I think the end of Iggy Hardy is near
Hood: Fucking pisses me off
~Josie pulls Iggy to his feet on the apron…she’s in the ring, the ropes are situated between them. In a surprising act, Josie hooks Iggy for a suplex…the crowd reacts in a manner that gives off the vibe they don’t think she can pull this off. Josie tries to lift Iggy…it doesn’t work. She tries again…and fails a second time…she finally alters her methodology. She yanks Iggy through the ropes with his feet hanging by their toes…she then DROPS Iggy face first into the mat. She turns him over and goes for a pin~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Wow…that’s three near falls for Josie Barnes…you know she’s got to be one big move away
Hood: Yep and what the hell has Iggy done?
Smith: Walked down to the ring
Hood: Yep…that’s about it
~Josie returns to her feet. She’s showing great determination. She pulls Iggy up and whips him into the ropes. She ducks, looking for an eventual back body drop. Iggy hits the ropes…his eyes suddenly POP! His veins bulge!! He SCREAMS…he’s INTENSE!! Iggy sprints at Josie, crams her head between his legs and in a seamless motion flips over with Josie locked and drops her with THE PURIFIER!!! The crowd jumps to their feet in an unexpected burst of excitement! Iggy hooks both legs as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the competitor who will go on to Stainless Steel Ride for a Savage Title Opportunity….IGGY HARDY!!!!!
Smith: Out of nowhere!
Hood: What the fuck? Did he just pop the intensity equivalent of a viagra?
Smith: I’m not sure…all I know is he was morose, dilapidated, ram shackled…finished from the start…until, well, his intensity returned.
Hood: Treat better make sure this fucker stays intense…otherwise he’s fucking worthless
Smith: But how about Josie Barnes…tremendous effort. She’s still a rookie to the sport who nearly defeated Iggy Hardy
Hood: And she’s got a great ass
Smith: If you say so…Hood, guess what?
Hood: I don't fucking know
Smith: I've got a special surprise for you...
Hood: Could you BE anymore creepy?
Smith: You're gonna love it
Hood: Now I'm scared...anything you think I'll love I'm destined to hate
Smith- Okay. We're going to cut to a very special guest...
Hood- I heard this might be happening... Please tell me it's not who i think it is. Just be Tom Hanks' beard from that one "the Circle" movie.
Smith- Nope. It's in fact former OCW Champion, Alice Knight. Joining us live via satellite from her apartment...
Hood- All the Tom Hanks beard fans, me included, will be really disappointed.
~We cut to a shot of former OCW Champion, Alice Knight standing in her apartment. A few ANT FARMS are spotted in weird places…like one is on the floor, in the middle of the room. Cats are crawling around, meowing. And, of course, we see an OWL fly into its cage with either a giant mouse of a small cat in its mouth. Alice waves…we hear the OCW Arena erupt with cheers~
Alice Knight- Hey guys! Been so long. Smith... do you remember when we shared an apartment for like a month a long time ago? Wow.
Smith- I'd rather not talk about those days, Alice.
Alice Knight- Remember that time i made you Hotdog soup or our famous underwear mix up? So funny!
Smith- Not the right time, Alice. But thanks for joining us. Last time we saw you was a awhile back when you were viciously attacked by PerZag before your Championship bout with MJ Bell.
Alice- Yes that was an awful time. But during my injury I got to focus on my passion project. No not my ant farms. Which are flourishing by the way. So many tunnels. But my main focus these days is Owls. After my lawsuit about the Owl I may or may not have been involved in killing on my Massacre Championship winning night. The people at ProtectOwls.com got in touch with me. And now I am one of the celebrity spokes-people for the Protect Owls foundation. It's mainly just me, Christian Slater and the guy who played the TV version of the Crow. I forget his name....
Smith: Yes, Owls. Owls…the true watchers of the night. Nothing is wiser than an owl. Own an owl today by signing up with ProtectOwls.com and for only a dime a day you will feed and protect your very own Owl. Or so it says on this card I was paid to read.
Alice Knight- You read it wonderfully Smith. Just like you wore my undies... But seriously, you should visit that site for all of your owl concerns. Especially if you have alot of dimes. And if you are like me you have all kinds of loose change lying around your sofa, kitchen sinks and bags of fertilizer you just have around your apartment. OH! Plus if you use Amazon, you can save 20% on any Owl merchandise. Including owl balloons, owl apple cider and of course the OCW OWLisNIGHT t-shirts which... are still hot. But Smith. That's not why I am here speaking to you and what's his face...
Hood- Finally... a point to this dribble.
Alice Knight- Whose that? Who said that? Whatever. I'm here to say that next week live on Massacre i will be returning to an OCW ring to make an major announcement.
Hood - Please tell me she has cancer. And not the kind the actor who played Dexter had. The dying kind.
Smith- Oh hush up. I didn't expect this. Alice. Is everything okay?
Alice Knight- Well i still have to consult my Doctor, Dr. Raja Punta again. Even though he mainly focuses in putting silicone bags in female chests, Not me. Or removing fat from the hips and smoothing out wrinkles. Also not me. And even sometimes covering up old stab wounds. Um... no comment on that one. But with all honesty I want to make an announcement on my career and the future of Alice Knight. Mainly for my Owl-Heads around the world and of course everyone on the roster.
Smith- We look forward to hearing what you have to say Alice.
Hood- We do?
Smith- Yes....
Hood- Yes?
Alice Knight- Yes? Huh? Anyway... thanks Smith and Mr. Turnip head. Looking forward to being back in the ring next week.
Smith- Thanks Alice... can't wait to see you back.
Hood- Wait... did she just call me a turnip?
~Alice waves as the feed cuts out. The OCW Arena is chanting “OWL! IS! NIGHT!” They obviously remember and still adore the former OCW Champion~
Smith: Listen to these fans…they can’t wait to hear what she has to say…I only hope she brings with her good news
Hood: We need to call Australia…get PerZag down here to finish what he started…OR that mystery man, maybe he can shoot her with a big gun
Smith: You are an awful man…she brings such joy to people and you want to crush it…CRUSH IT, I say. But, in all seriousness…she suffered some extensive injuries during Like There’s No Tomorrow so we very well could be seeing Alice Knight for the last time next Monday…
Hood: They need to put her down alongside Dirty Devin McKnight!
Smith: You HUSH! Anyway folks…as exciting as that announcement was and, if you can hear this crowd, it was truly exciting. We’ve got another big match scheduled…Curt Canon is taking on Rebel…the winner will face Iggy Hardy at Stainless Steel Ride…that match, is next!
OCW Savage Championship #1 Contenders Match
Rebel (9-3) vs. Curt Canon (3-0)
Belvedere: : Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest will be conducted under SAVAGE rules. The winner of this match will go on to compete in a POTENTIAL Savage Championship match at Stainless Steel Ride.
~”Figure 8” by Trust Company hits…the crowd LEAPS to their feet. OCW Hall of Famer Curt Canon jumps out from behind the curtain!! Checkers is on his shoulder…the crowd goes wild with a “CANON!” chant!!! He nods his head and sprints down to the ring. He leaps through the ropes…as he does, Checkers leaps off his shoulder and swings around the top rope, finding balance and taking a seat. Canon pops to his feet in the middle of the ring and pumps his fist to the cheers~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…standing 5’4 and weighing in at 155lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…he is an OCW Hall of Famer…Curt Canon!!!
~The lights around the arena turn to red as the opening strains of "Slow Me Down" by the Devin Townsend Band play out, the lights flicker red and white. The camera swoops down to the entrance to show the silhouette of a man, his back turned to the camera, with his left hand raised in a fist above his head, the lights all suddenly burst on as a huge explosion rocks the arena. Rebel rotates quickly, pumping his fist at his side as he does, he begins the walk down to the ring, reaching out periodically to shake hands with the fans. He jumps up onto the ring apron and turns quickly, his arms wrapped around the top rope, again he pumps his left fist in the air then hops over the top rope. He walks around the ring, his fist raised, then stops in the middle, a bank of red fireworks sweep across the side of the ring behind him~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs…Rebel!!!
~The bell rings. Checkers leaps off the rope and sits next to Larry, the OCW Superfan who offers Checkers some nachos. Checkers dives in, covering his face with cheese~
Smith: Strange match up here, Hood. We’ve got one of the tallest wrestlers on the roster, maybe the tallest, now that I think about it…against possibly the shortest.
Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: These two will compete under Savage rules where the winner will face Iggy Hardy at Stainless Steel Ride
Hood: So, in other words, no monkeying around!
Smith: I take it you’re picking Rebel?
Hood: I’m going to pick the winner
Smith: Right
~Canon looks across the ring at the giant Rebel. Rebel is over a foot taller. It’s a menacing task. Canon goes light on his feet, hopping around. Rebel inches forward. Rebel attempts a lock up…Canon darts out of the way and hops across the ring, creating distance. He keeps on eye on Rebel as though he’s formulating a plan~
Smith: The Hall of Fame veteran knows he can’t match Rebel in terms of strength. So, he’s trying to figure out a way to negate Rebel’s physical advantage to level the playing field.
Hood: It’s Savage rules, right?
Smith: Indeed
Hood: Guy should have brought a crowbar…clipped Rebel in the knees.
Smith: He wouldn’t do that!
~Rebel turns around and faces Canon, he remains focused. He stalks Curt…backing him into a corner. He lunges forward for another lock…again Curt is able to dart out of the way, using his small stature to easily avert Rebel’s arms. Curt hustles across the ring and hops around, watching Rebel who turns around looking a bit more frustrated this time~
Smith: He continues to evade Rebel’s attacks
Hood: The fuck is this shit…ballet? Some kind of fucking retarded dance performance…FIGHT mother fucker!
Smith: Wow, it’s a good thing Rebel doesn’t have your lack of patience
Hood: He’d be OCW Champ if he did!
~Rebel swallows his frustration and refocuses. He stalks Canon for a third time, backing him into a corner. He waits a little longer this time before going after Curt….and, again, Curt avoids the lock…he drops to his knees and crawls through Rebel’s legs. He promptly pops back to his feet in the center of the ring. Rebel turns around, furious. He steps to Curt…Curt responds by SLAPPING Rebel across the face. The crowd goes ‘ooohhhh’. Rebel’s head is tilted to the side…his chest heaves, his face is turning red…I’d say he’s getting intense but, he isn’t Iggy Hardy~
Smith: I think Curt Canon has awakened a fury inside of Rebel
Hood: So all that running around to slap the guy? Fucking stupid
Smith: Wait a minute, we haven’t seen the entire sequence…Canon might have something planned
Hood: Dude hangs out with a monkey. He’s not the planning type – a total INTP!
Smith: Been taking those personality tests again?
Hood: Yep, nonstop until they give me the correct personality!
~Rebel goes after Canon. Canon takes off sprinting…he slides under the ropes to the outside. Rebel hops through the ropes, landing on his feet. He chases Canon around the ring…Canon, though, is too fast for Rebel to catch. They go around the ring once…they run around it twice…Canon finally slides inside the ring. Rebel lumbers to the spot Canon entered and slowly enters. He’s winded. Canon runs into the ropes, Rebel steps through the ropes…while halfway in he receives a dropkick to the head!! Rebel flies out of the ring and crashes, side first into the barricade!! The crowd goes wild with “CANON!” chants as the former OCW Champion acknowledges the praise by throwing his arms in the air~
Smith: I told you! He used his speed, quickness, and stamina to wear Rebel down just enough for that dropkick
Hood: He didn’t plan that. It just happened…I will NEVER be convinced Curt Canon is some type of master planner
Smith: We just saw firsthand proof that he is
Hood: Bullshit…he just ran around because he’s crazy and got lucky with that dropkick
Smith: Agree to disagree
Hood: AGREED
~Rebel, on his feet, is leaning against the barricade for support. His hands are clutching the afflicted portion of his body. Canon stops celebrating with the fans and runs into the ropes…he bounces off and charges toward the side of the ring nearest Rebel…he LEAPS over the top rope with a corkscrew suicide dive!! He lands on top of Rebel…they slam into the barricade, it bends, but doesn’t break! Canon falls to the floor and reaches his feet, safely. Rebel collapses to his knees. Canon charges forward and slaps a knee to the side of Rebel’s head! Rebel flips onto his back as the fans continue to cheer for the OCW legend~
Smith: Curt Canon is focused and looking like the early favorite to gain that spot against Iggy Hardy
Hood: Fucking Rebel…getting his ass kicked by a toddler
Smith: Curt Canon is a man. He’s got to be near forty!
Hood: He isn’t that fucking old…or, well, I hope he isn’t. Guy has the mind of a teenager
Smith: Young at heart, Hood!
~Canon places his hands on top of the barricade. Rebel is wedged between Canon’s feet and the barricade. Canon then jumps into the air and shows tremendous balance, strength and agility by performing a hand stand on top of the barricade…the fans look up and ‘ohhhh’ at the grace. Canon then swings back down and slams both knees into the side of Rebel!!! The barricade bends inward, nearly breaking. Canon struggles to his feet, limping slightly~
Smith: Innovative move by the OCW Hall of Famer…that’s why he is who he is
Hood: A fucking lunatic who lives with a damn monkey?
Smith: Well, I was referencing him being a former OCW Champion and current Hall of Famer…but he does, in fact, live with an Amazonian primate
Hood: Fuckin weirdo
~Rebel gets to all fours. He reaches for the barricade in an attempt to balance. Canon walks around the steps, he bends over, stretching his legs. Rebel reaches his feet. Checkers SCREMAS and points…Canon spots Rebel on his feet. He hops atop the steps and waits for Rebel to look at him. Rebel does…Canon leaps off and goes for a Tornado DDT…Rebel catches Canon and holds steady!! He then charges toward the apron SLAMMING Canon’s back into the edge!! Canon yells in pain, reaching for his back…Rebel holds onto Canon, turns around and drops him with a spine buster!! The crowd gives a lukewarm ovation…they like Rebel but are more familiar with Canon and his OCW history~
Smith: These fans are torn…Rebel is one of their favorites in 2017 but Curt Canon has been an OCW favorite for nearly twenty years
Hood: Fucking hell…twenty damn years? What has become of my life?
Smith: It’s been a glorious two decades!
Hood: I guess
~Rebel picks Canon up and lifts him over his head. He looks out into the crowd and throws Canon three rows deep!! Canon lands roughly into some chairs as people scatter. He hits the ground, holding his back in pain. Fans start to boo Rebel but he remains focused on the task at hand~
Smith: I know that’s not a very popular thing to do…but Rebel needs this win…he needs that Savage Title opportunity
Hood: It isn’t against the rules so fuck the fans
Smith: Well, I wouldn’t go that far
Hood: Fuck em!
~Rebel steps over the barricade with ease. He stalks Canon. The crowd parts, allowing him access…not because they wish DEATH on Canon…but because they don’t like the prospects of angering the gigantic Rebel. He stands over Canon and reaches down for Canon’s head…Canon stumbles to his feet. He reaches out with his hands…Rebel doesn’t notice…Canon then JAMS a chair into Rebel’s lower abdomen…possibly his groin. Rebel doubles over and staggers near the barricade. Canon picks up the chair and holds it against his chest, flat ways. He sprints at Rebel and leaps into the air with a crossbody!! He smashes the chair into Rebel’s face with his body behind it, adding force. The duo tip over the barricade and crash on the floor outside the ring. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: Curt Canon putting his body on the line!
Hood: Not THAT difficult when you consider that he barely weighs more than that chair
Smith: He weighs more than that!
Hood: Actually, the fact that he was able to jump through the air holding something the equivalent of his body weight is SUPER impressive
Smith: He weighs way more than a folding chair
Hood: Oh, so you’re calling him fat, eh?
Smith: I am not!
~Canon returns to his feet. He’s surprisingly fine after the tumble. He lifts the chair up and waits for Rebel to get to his feet. Canon drills Rebel in the back with the chair!! Rebel staggers near the ring. Canon hits him again…Rebel leans forward, placing his hands on the apron for support. Canon smacks him a third time!! Rebel’s body rolls onto the apron as he seeks to escape the pain by entering into the ring. Canon hustles up the steps with the chair in his hands. He climbs the top rope, chair in hand. Rebel gets to his feet…Canon leaps off the top looking to bring the chair down on Rebel’s head…Rebel responds with a discuss elbow that knocks the chair into Canon’s face!! Canon falls to the mat, dropping the chair! Rebel falls on top of Canon with the cover~
1!
2!
Shoulder up!!!
Smith: How did he avoid that three count? Rebel, a man over a foot tall nearly took his head off with that discus elbow!
Hood: Because he’s Curt mother fucking Canon! When you hang around with Scott Syren that long some of those wacky ass powers are sure to rub off
Smith: Are you saying greatness is contagious?
Hood: It can be if the accomplice is open and accepting
~Canon struggles to his feet. Rebel locates the chair. He lifts it up and watches the punch drunk Canon. He contemplates using the chair. The crowd yells for him not to using it. But, this is OCW…if you’ve got the opportunity to legally lay your opponent out for a title opportunity, YOU DO IT. Canon turns around and Rebel swings the chair like a bat! He drills Canon in the chest!! Canon flies into the ropes, he goes through them, tumbling all the way to the floor. We hear Checkers SHRIEK with pain and anger. The fans boo vociferously. Rebel drops the chair and stands over the ropes, looking down at Canon who is wrecked~
Smith: The fans don’t like Rebel’s actions and I can’t say I blame them. He had Canon off balance, the chair was superfluous!
Hood: Fuck that noise…Curt Canon is a hall of famer. He isn’t in there with fucking Shootah. This is for a Savage Title shot…it’s savage rules, fucking hit him again I say!
Smith: Well the fans do like Rebel…but they’ve adored Canon for years…I can’t say their booing is all that shocking
Hood: Stupid fans…why do they always follow losers?
~Rebel steps over the top rope…he hops off the apron and lands next to Canon’s body. He reaches down, finding Canon to be mostly dead weight. Thankfully, Canon is the size of a middle schooler. Rebel hoists him up and places Canon the apron. He rolls Canon in under the bottom rope. Rebel steps onto the apron and over the top rope, back into the ring. Canon gets to his feet…he’s doubled over, to keep from falling. Rebel runs in and goes for the Rabble Rouser!! Canon drops to one knee!! Rebel misses and lands awkwardly on his feet. He staggers forward. Canon grabs the chair. Rebel turns around and Canon throws the chair at him…it CLANGS into Rebel’s face! Rebel falls back into the corner, the crowd is going wild~
Smith: A resurgence by Canon!
Hood: The resiliency of a middle schooler! Are we SURE this guy isn’t fifteen?
Smith: That could pose some serious problems for the company…IF that were true…however, I doubt he’s that young
Hood: Oh yea? Have you seen his highly secretive birth certificate?
Smith: No…simple math tells me he would have been around 0 when he won the OCW title IF he were a teenager today
Hood: Don’t underestimate the power of 0
~Canon charges up behind the ovation. He sprints into the corner and kicks Rebel in the side of the head with a shining wizard!! Rebel falls to his ass. He’s seated in the corner. Canon continues running…he sprints at Rebel and performs The Canon Bomb (Corner Cannonball Senton)!!! Rebel is crushed against the bottom buckle…Curt then drags Rebel towards the middle of the ring by pulling on both legs~
Smith: Canon’s got all the momentum…he could win this, Hood!
Hood: Doesn’t the guy know he’s ALREADY in the Hall of Fame? He doesn’t need any more championships…let Rebel in on the action you selfish bastard!
Smith: Canon has a father…or, well, I think he does
Hood: Fine…you selfish BITCH
~Canon drops Rebel’s feet. He stands over Rebel’s upper body…he grabs Rebel by his bleached hair and hooks him for the Canon Cutter!! Rebel fights out of it…with a thumb into Canon’s eye!! Canon staggers back, releasing Rebel. Rebel stands upright and runs Canon over with a lariat!! Canon hits the mat hard. Rebel then spots the chair…the fans boo. He walks over to the chair and picks it up…the fans yell ‘NO!’~
Smith: Don’t do it, Rebel! You can win without it!
Hood: WHO FUCKING CARES…it’s within the rules. Mother fucker…bunch of fucking pussies in this arena
Smith: I’m sorry but I’d rather see a clean finish than one marred by the use of weapons
Hood: You probably hate it when they show sex scenes in movies too, don’t you? You’d prefer if they cut away after the first kiss, wouldn’t you?
Smith: Well, I wouldn’t go that far!
~Rebel lowers the chair…the fans cheer. He doesn’t drop it…instead he heads for a corner and sets the chair across the two obliquely joined top ropes. The crowd boos. Rebel picks Canon up, hoisting him over his shoulder in the powerslam position…he heads toward the corner and, more importantly, the chair. The boos crash down onto the ring as Rebel ignores them~
Smith: He doesn’t have to do this!
Hood: Apparently, he does
Smith: Don’t do it, Rebel!
Hood: Conforming to what you and these fans want would basically render his name oxymoronic
Smith: So? We can call him Face! Or Swell Guy
Hood: Geezus…BUST HIS FUCKING FACE OPEN, REBEL!
~Rebel reaches the corner…Canon’s face is staring down at the chair…he begins to wiggle. Canon’s momentum has Rebel bending backward…Canon lands on his feet…he’s got Rebel hooked for the Canon Cutter!! The crowd leaps to their feet. Rebel powers back to a standing position…the fans yell! Rebel drops Canon with SNAKE EYES into the chair!! Canon’s face SMASHES with a loud CLANG!! The chair flies out of the ring as Canon falls to the center of the ring, unconscious. Rebel quickly ascends that same corner to a chorus of boos~
Smith: No!! Dang it!
Hood: Whew, that was close
Smith: It’s not over yet…Canon’s resiliency has been well documented in this match and throughout his career!
Hood: Rebel better fucking win!
~Rebel reaches the top…Canon is on his back. Rebel leaps off with Revolution!! He connects!! The crowd groans and boos…Rebel hooks Canon’s leg as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the wrestler who will go on to face Iggy Hardy at Stainless Steel Ride for a Potential OCW Savage Championship is….REBEL!!!!!
Smith: DEFLATING
Hood: Fucking awesome! Rebel’s time is here, Smith!
Smith: I know he’s talented…I’m not arguing that…just the means by which he secured the victory
Hood: Stop painting this guy as some super villain….as some MORSE…the dude clearly fought within the rules and won the match. For fucks sake…isn’t Canon the one who INTRODUCED the fucking chair?
Smith: I can’t remember
Hood: How convenient
Smith: It was a great match…Curt Canon, in my opinion, is better than ever…just a tough, tough obstacle – defeating Rebel. Rebel gets that big win he’s been looking for and moves on.
Hood: I don’t think anyone on the roster wants to face Rebel…not right now
Smith: Agreed…
~A very pleased Rebel has exited the ring, leaving Canon behind. The OCW fans give Curt a standing ovation. He reaches his feet, busted up and in pain…he leans against the ropes, obviously fatigued~
Smith: What a great effort tonight…Curt Canon is showing us all why he is a former OCW Champion and forever an OCW Hall of Famer
Hood: Yea, that might have been the second best performance of his career…behind that night he beat Lurrr, of course
Smith: Indeed…great job, Curt! Great job!
~The fans suddenly rise to their feet ... ~
Smith: What is he doing here?
Hood: Didn't you know he runs the show with the rest of The Aptitude.
~ "The Distinguished" CJ O'Donnell has just jumped the guard rail and is lurking on the outside of the ring as he just stares in the direction of Curt Canon. With Rebel having left the ring area and returned backstage, CJ sees his opportunity and slides underneath the bottom ropes. O'Donnell backs into the closest corner and just waits patiently like he is hunting his prey.~
Smith: Curt has no idea CJ is inside the ring.
Hood: This is going to be priceless.
~ Curt begins to turn around and CJ goes charging towards him. The moment Curt turns around is the exact same moment that The Distinguished connects with his patented Running Single Leg High Knee to the face of Canon who does a flip in midair because of the impact. ~
Hood: Irish Knowledge!
Smith: That is completely uncalled for Curt just wrestled a great match against Rebel and he has to be exhausted.
Hood: CJ made it clear last week that he is on a mission to prove he is worthy of being inside the same ring as OCW Legends.
Smith: Attacking them from behind is not going to help him.
Hood: Do you really want to try to understand why is going on in his mind right now? CJ is a man possessed with nothing but pure hate and anger.
~ As Curt is on the mat holding his head in pain CJ just stands over him and looks down at the fallen legend on the mat. After a few moments, CJ just shakes his head in pure disgust. CJ bends down on one knee and picks up Curt by his hair with his left hand before he slaps him with his right hand. ~
CJ O'Donnell: You are not a legend. A real legend would have seen this coming. Maybe you are not worthy of facing me at Stainless Steel Ride.
~ CJ slams Curt's head into the mat before he exits to a chorus of jeers from the fans. CJ can't help but smirk as he looks back at Canon in the ring as he raises his arms in victory as he walks up the aisle. ~
Smith: Real tough guy…attacking a man when he’s exhausted and unaware
Hood: Man CJ is so fucking smart…I’m more and more impressed with him each and every week
Smith: I can’t stand the man and I rarely say that
Hood: Bullshit, you say that all the time!
Smith: I hope Mark Storm gives CJ what’s coming to him…it’s about time somebody knocked that JERK off his high horse
Hood: Is that a jab at CJ’s size…you calling him a jockey?
Smith: That was not my intention…poor Curt…I hope GM Welsh signs that match so Canon can get some payback!
Hood: Trust me, Curt Canon doesn’t want any part of CJ O’Donnell
Smith: I don’t know about that, Hood…anyway, we’ve got two more matches to go…up next is CJ and Mark Storm…before we get to that action…how about a commercial?
Hood: Do we have a choice?
Smith: Nope!
LIVE! Monday, June 19th 2017
From The Louisiana State Penitentiary in St Francisville, Louisiana
OCW Championship
OCW Savage Championship
OCW Paradigm Championship
Ascension Championship
Oh Shit Contract
OCW Tag Team Championship
Special Attraction: One Night Only
Special Attraction: Legendary Challenge
Escape the Prison Match
The Incredible One (c) vs. "The Marvel" Matt Meyhu (c)
Iggy Hardy vs. Rebel
"Professor" Bradley Carrington vs. TBA
Max Shade (c) vs. Damian K'
TBA
The Aptitude (c) vs. Tokyo Knives vs. TBA
Julliet Brooks vs. Mystery Attacker
"The Distinguished" CJ O'Donnell vs. An OCW Legend
~We cut back to the announce table. The are chanting "SSR!" in excitement over OCW's upcoming Super Show~
Smith: That is shaping up to be quite the event
Hood: We aren't going to have to actually call matches INSIDE the prison, are we?
Smith: I think we are
Hood: Son of a bitch...I need to go make out with a girl who has strep or mono a week before the event
Smith: Nope, if I've got to be there YOU do as well
Hood: This job sucks
Smith: Alright everybody...we have two matches remaining and boy are they going to be something! Let's head down to ringside for our next match as CJ O'Donnell looks to stop the momentum of Mark Storm!
”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell (10-1) vs. Mark Storm (3-2)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall!!
~Short Change Hero by The Heavy begins to play through the speakers and the lights in the arena simultaneously dim down. Smoke begins to rise from the top of the stage and appearing on the screen above are the following words~
~A massive pop ensues as emerging from the back is the self-proclaimed "Prince of CHAOS", Mark Storm; who keeps himself composed as he stands at the top of the entrance ramp. He can't help but allow his sadistic signature smirk to appear upon his lips as he closes his eyes and spreads his arms out wide, soaking in the energy that the audience are giving him as they applaud and cheer~
Announcer: From New York, Brooklyn.. weighing in a two hundred and twenty pounds - Your Hero, and Mine.. MARRKKKK STORMMMMMM
~He begins his walk down the entrance ramp, with a leather coat completing his attire as he comes down the entrance ramp~
This ain't no place for no better man.
This ain't no place for no hero
To call "home."
~At this point, Storm is by the edge of the ring; allowing a smile to embed on his face before he jumps onto the apron and holds onto the ropes, using them to help himself up onto the turnbuckle. He's grinning from ear to ear, soaking in the rest of the cheers coming from the audience, shaking his head sideways as he lowers it, before jumping into the ring. Taking off his leather coat, he hands it to the ring announcer before walking over to his designated corner and hoisting himself up onto the second ropes, a smirk upon his lips as he holds his arms up; his theme song slowly diminishing~
Smith: Mark Storm scored the biggest win of his OCW career a few weeks ago when he defeated Damian K’
Hood: Fucker really proved he’s got the talent
Smith: Indeed…Damian K’ is a wrestler OCW officials have labeled ‘future main eventer’…so that tells you the kind of talent Mark Storm has.
Hood: Yep, he’s gonna have to put together the best performance of his OCW career if he wants to win this fucking thing
Smith: Indeed
~"Kings Never Die" by Eminem hits. The crowd BOOS loudly…it’s arguably the biggest reaction anyone has received all evening. CJ O’Donnell stands atop the stage with his Tag Title draped over his shoulder. He looks to his side…Matt Meyhu emerges! The crowd boos louder, sensing potentially shenanigans. CJ and Meyhu make their way to the ring. Meyhu has both shoulders draped with gold. They reach the ringside area…CJ sprints toward the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. He hoists his belt high in the air to a chorus of boos. Meyhu gives him a standing ovation from outside the ring~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts…standing 5’11 and weighing in at 178lbs…he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions…”The Distinguished” CJ O’Donnell!!!!
~The crowd continues to boo as the bell rings~
Smith: Mark Storm scored the biggest win of his OCW career in his last appearance by defeating Damian K’…who haven’t seen him since. Tonight, he’s back with an opportunity to take down the top ranked wrestler in OCW, CJ O’Donnell.
Hood: He could do it…or he could get beat in ten seconds. The life and times of Mark Storm.
Smith: He is unpredictable.
Hood: He does look kind of stormy tonight so who knows…we could be in for a fucking great match.
Smith: Let’s hope so!
~CJ hands his belt to Scruff. Scruff is about to hand it to Belvedere when Meyhu yells out and demands they hand it to him. Scruff doesn’t see the difference and hands Meyhu the title. Meyhu stands on the outside with THREE belts. CJ turns and makes a joke about how Meyhu ‘shouldn’t get too comfortable with his title belt’. Meyhu jokes back…suddenly, like a flash, Storm sprints in and pummels CJ with forearms into the back!! The crowd goes wild! CJ stumbles into a corner, Storm stands him upright and administers several knife edged chops to the bare, tattooed chest of CJ O’Donnell~
Smith: Mark Storm is taking the fight right to CJ!
Hood: Fucking storm just came out of nowhere! I’m told it might be a big one!
Smith: Oh no, not this again
Hood: Hey, it’s my duty as OCW weatherman to ensure the safety of all residents within the OCW Arena
~Storm whips CJ out of the corner…he sprints across the ring and toward the opposing corner…he hops onto the middle rope. Storm charges in…CJ back flips over Storm and runs into the previous corner he was stuck in. Storm turns around…CJ charges and leaps through the air with Irish Knowledge!! Storm drops to his knees…CJ misses and his knee SLAMS into the middle buckle!! Meyhu covers his eyes, wincing in pain! CJ staggers out, holding his leg…Storm hooks him from behind in a Full Nelson. He then tosses CJ over his head with a Full Nelson Suplex!! The crowd goes wild as Storm rushes to his feet, feeding off their adrenaline~
Smith: CJ tried to end it early but missed
Hood: The winds are picking up!! Hear that thunder? Man, this could be the storm of the year!
Smith: Calm down, it’s just his name…we’re inside! Plus, from what I understand, it’s lovely weather in Key West tonight
Hood: Relax, it may be bad now but weather is fickle…CAPRICIOUS even…this storm could easily vanish.
~He doesn’t give CJ a moment to relax. He yanks The Distinguished One to his feet and hurls him toward the ropes. CJ bounces off and Storm DRILLS him in the face with a boot!! CJ slams to the mat. Storm stands, facing the body of CJ. He jumps into the air and executes a PERFECT Standing Shooting Star Press!! The crowd goes wild! Storm covers CJ…Scruff slides in for the count. Meyhu starts to climb onto the apron~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: Wow! Mark Storm nearly pulled off the biggest upset of 2017!
Hood: Geezus! A picnic table just blew over…according to reports from the perverts hiding in the park bushes! The wind gusts are getting out of control!
Smith: Stop that!
Hood: Lightning just struck a tree…this storm could be the likes of which we haven’t seen since The Day After Tomorrow!
Smith: Oh please
~Meyhu hops back down wiping some fake sweat off his forehead. Storm remains focused. He returns to his feet with a full hand of CJ’s hair. A wobbly CJ looks up at Storm. With a quick and efficient knee strike into the midsection, Storm doubles CJ over. He hooks CJ around the waist and lifts him up for a power bomb…he then lifts CJ HIGHER into an Elevated power bomb. CJ throws a vicious elbow into Storm’s forehead! Storm’s grip weakens…CJ jumps down, behind Storm landing on one knee. He returns to his feet…Storm turns around and CJ hits the ropes. He attempts Irish Knowledge, but his knee is still damaged from the buckle impact earlier so, instead, he pushes both feet through Storm’s chest with a dropkick!! Storm falls to the mat, holding his chest in pain~
Smith: A much needed shift in momentum for CJ…it was beginning to look like Storm was going to win this one easily
Hood: Hold on, I’m being told that the winds are easing up…the storm might not be as bad as predicted.
Smith: Well thank goodness for that…
Hood: Yea, those bullshit perverts evidently stretched the truth. The picnic table was small and plastic. Fucking unreliable pervs.
Smith: Who would have thought!
~CJ stretches his knee out. He tests it…it holds up fine. He halfway limps over to Storm and uses his ‘fresh’ leg to stomp onto Storm’s head several times. He then drags Storm near the ropes…we spot Meyhu standing nearby. CJ drags Storm under the bottom rope…he reaches through the middle and bottom rope, grabbing both of Storm’s arms…he then pulls up while pressing his foot onto the bottom rope…his presses the rope into Storm’s throat. Storm kicks his legs and begins to choke. Scruff asks for a break, CJ declines. Scruff starts to count~
Smith: He’s blatantly CHEATING in front of Scruff
Hood: Dude, he’s got a five count or whatever…besides, he’s saving us from this horrible weather
Smith: No, he’s not…he’s endangering the career of one of the most accomplished wrestlers in this industry.
Hood: What? Mark Storm is 3-2! Get out of my face with that shit
~Scruff reaches the allotment and warns CJ against a DQ. CJ backs off, holding his arms in the air. Meyhu wraps his hands around Storm’s throat, squeezing as tight as he can. The fans yell and point, trying to get Scruff’s attention. He’s too busy arguing with CJ~
Smith: Oh come on!!
Hood: Yea, that storm is being snuffed out it appears. I think it’s just about safe enough for people to go outside and do whatever shit it is people do in their yards
~Meyhu ceases with the choking and slides CJ’s tag title off his shoulder. He positions it, getting ready to nail Storm in the head. Finally, Scruff looks down…Meyhu quickly adjusts and breathes onto the belt plate…he scrubs it clean with his hand. Scruff sees nothing wrong with the action~
Smith: Get him away from ringside!
Hood: What are you talking about? He’s there to make sure CJ’s title belt remains in good, clean condition.
Smith: He was going to belt Storm with that….uhh…
Hood: Crossed yourself up, didn’t you?
Smith: You know what I was going to say
Hood: All that I know is that the sun is starting to shine…the weather has improved dramatically
~CJ yanks Storm back into the ring by his legs. Meyhu re-positions CJ’s belt over his left shoulder. His tag title is draped over his right with the Savage remaining around his waist. Storm rolls over and coughs, holding his throat. CJ hops on Storm’s back and applies a Camel Clutch!! Storm winces as CJ cranks back, torqueing Storm’s neck. Scruff asks Storm if he wants to quit…Storm declines. CJ lets go for a second and smashes a forearm into the side of Storm’s head! He reapplies the hold with Storm continuing to struggle~
Smith: CJ is relentless…when he gets the upper hand he goes for the kill
Hood: I think I just heard people were sunbathing…man it’s amazing how quickly these storm clouds can vanish
Smith: Please, stop…you’re not even consistent with your act. At some points you’re talking about the weather inside the arena and then, at other times you act like you’re talking about the weather outside…this act, it has gone stale.
Hood: The only thing stale around here is the humid stench rising from the damp, drying roads.
~Scruff asks Storm again…he declines to quit. CJ clubs him in the side of the head with a second forearm before re-establishing his grip. The blow seems to awaken Storm. He powers to his knees. CJ looks around with surprise. The fans start to cheer…”STORM!” fills the arena. Storm reaches one knee…CJ releases the clutch and applies a sleeper!! He hops on Storm’s back and wraps his legs around Storm’s waist, trying to bring him to the mat and choke him out. Storm, however, powers to his feet and stumbles backward into a corner!! He crushes CJ!! CJ releases the hold and falls to the mat…he’s seated against the bottom buckle. Storm falls forward onto all fours gasping for air…the crowd is going wild~
Smith: This crowd is firmly behind Mark Storm…they can sense the potential upset…they can feel Mark Storm taking a giant chip out of the foundation The Aptitude has built!
Hood: Did you hear that? A loud clap of thunder…the storm could be returning!
Smith: There isn’t any thunder!
Hood: You might need a hearing aid
~The fans stomp their feet…it actually kinda sounds like thunder. Smith looks at Hood who responds with a “told ya!” reaction. Storm powers to his feet…he’s feeding off the energy. CJ pulls up with the aid of the top rope. Storm’s back is facing CJ. CJ rushes forward and throws several side kicks into the back and kidneys of Storm!! Storm staggers forward…his momentum being chopped down. Storm finally staggers into a corner…CJ delivers one final, stiff kick into Storm’s left kidney. Storm falls to his knees, resting his head on the middle buckle, wincing. CJ runs across the ring…he crouches in the corner, builds up some strength and sprints out…he leaps through the air with Irish Knowledge aimed at the back of Storm’s head!! Storm drops to the mat and rolls out, under the bottom rope!! Again CJ slams his knee into the middle buckle!! This time he falls to the mat, holding that knee in pain~
Smith: That’s twice! CJ is going to blow his knee out!
Hood: Winds are picking up…my goodness, those sun bathers had better head back inside!
Smith: The only wind I can feel is from our brand new, state of the art AC units! But I will say that Mark Storm has dealt a great blow to CJ…if that knee goes out, CJ’s primary weapon is useless.
Hood: Yep, just like when the lights go out during a tornado…you can’t see shit. I’m told these winds could reach tornadic levels!
Smith: Well let’s hope these fictitious townsfolk don’t lose their lights
~Storm is on the apron, he steps back in through the ropes. He stumbles toward CJ…he grabs CJ’s wounded leg…CJ tries to kick him off…Storm boots CJ in the gut! CJ slows. Storm spins around CJ’s wounded knee, he grabs his other leg, locks it and leans onto the mat locking in a Figure Four!! The crowd goes wild!! CJ pulls at his hair while screaming in pain. He reaches for his knee, feeling it pulling apart. Scruff asks CJ if he wants to quit, CJ yells “FUCK NO”. Scruff stands back and watches~
Smith: I may not be a fan of CJ O’Donnell but I just can’t fathom him giving up
Hood: Of course not…CJ would never quit, anything. He’s like those brokeback mountain guys…he can’t quit.
Smith: You sure you want to go with that analogy?
Hood: Did you know CJ O’Donnell is sixty-nine hundred years old? He just can’t quit living
Smith: If that were true, which it isn’t, that would make his lack of world title wins even more regretful
Hood: I wouldn’t talk shit about a guy that’s been around for seven thousand years…he knows a thing or two about, ya know, stuff
Smith: Sure
~Storm lays back…Scruff slides in to count his shoulders down. Storm sits up. CJ lays back…Scruff does the same, CJ sits up. CJ grimaces…but something fires in his eyes. It’s as though he’s figured something out. Storm exerts more pressure, CJ yells. Storm flattens on his back once more. As he does this, CJ sits up as far as he can. Scruff counts Storm’s shoulders…Storm sits up out of instinct…as he does this, CJ grabs him by his long, wild hair. The crowd boos! CJ has Storm by the hair and starts to punch Storm in the head repeatedly!! Storm tries to wiggle free…in doing so, the figure four is turned OVER!! Storm is the one yelling know as CJ does his best to transfer pain into Storm’s legs. Storm quickly crawls to the ropes, hugging the bottom. Scruff forces a break…he has to untangle both sets of legs. CJ curls up, grabbing his knee while Storm returns to his feet, limping slightly while holding his head~
Smith: What a smart move by CJ…I don’t like the guy…I’m not sure who, aside from his mother could…but that was intelligent.
Hood: DISTINGUISHED!
Smith: Not sure that word fits
Hood: Well I’m no wordsmith but I do know one thing…that storm was getting rough but it seems to have dissipated a bit.
~Storm turns around…CJ is struggling to his feet. He knows he needs to tough out the pain in his knee if he wants to win. Storm walks up behind CJ and spins O’Donnell around. Storm grabs CJ’s arm and looks for the Storm Strike! CJ chops down with his free arm, breaking the bond. He lifts a quick knee into Storm’s face! Storm staggers back…CJ hobbles backward a few steps and sprints, awkwardly forward…he leaps into the air with Irish Knowledge but Storm catches CJ in a Fireman’s Carry~
Smith: Dystopia! If he hits this it’s over!
Hood: Son of a bitch! CJ, do something!
Smith: He’s only got one fully functioning leg!
Hood: So did Long John Silver and he did alright…just look at all the fried fish he sells
Smith: Fast food seafood – a recipe for disaster
~CJ knees Storm in the head several times. Storm finally drops CJ…he holds onto CJ’s arm. CJ’s wounded knee gives…it almost goes out. Storm pulls CJ in and lunges for the Storm Strike!! CJ ducks!! Storm staggers forward. CJ rips his arm free…he then leaps in the air…his back is facing Storm’s back…and he kicks Storm in the back of the head with a Pele Kick!!! Storm falls to his knees as CJ clutches his bad leg…it was the leg he used in the kick~
Smith: CJ avoided both Dystopia AND Storm Strike
Hood: Luckily we’ve managed to avoid most of the systems. There’s a big storm to the north of us and a big storm to the south…if they merge, we could be fucked.
Smith: Fascinating
Hood: It is…meteorology is one of the MOST fascinating ologies
~CJ returns to his feet…he limps around but works up the energy and focus to give Irish Knowledge one last try. Strom is kneeling…he slowly rises…CJ runs at Storm…but his knee buckles and he stumbles…Storm grabs CJ’s arm and thrusts him forward with Storm Strike! CJ ducks and rolls Storm up!! Scruff slides in and makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!
~Storm kicks out right after three! The crowd goes crazy booing and yelling. CJ rolls off of Storm and grabs his knee. Storm returns to his knees and looks at Scruff in disbelief~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….”THE DISTINGUISHED” CJ O’DONNELL!!!!!
Smith: I’m gonna be sick! Storm had this and CJ stole the win right at the end
Hood: Winners find a way to get the job done
Smith: Ugh…look at Storm, he’s confused…he, like all of us felt he had this match won
Hood: Doesn’t matter…CJ O’Donnell is going to go down as the victor!
~Storm shakes his head…he gets to his feet and places his hands on his hips. The fans chant “STORM!” displaying their support for the popular wrestling star. They know he gave it a great effort and almost won. Mark Storm steps through the ropes and reaches the ringside apron O'Donnell, on his feet and testing his knee sees an opportunity. He sprints in and clobbers Storm in the back of the head sending him to the floor. ~
Hood: It looks like CJ is not done with Storm yet.
Smith: The match is over.
Hood: CJ has said he was going to make a statement until a legend man’s up and faces him.
~ CJ slides underneath the bottom ropes and begins to stomp away on the chest area of Storm. Scruff slides outside and tells CJ that is enough. CJ puts his hands up and says fine. O'Donnell begins jawing with some of the fans in the front row. Meyhu walks over and pats CJ on the back, handing him his title. The two Aptitude members look very proud ~
Smith: CJ needs to go to anger management classes or something. He has gotten more violent the last couple of weeks.
Hood: Can you blame him? His own sister cost him his shot at squaring off for the OCW Title. His ex-wife’s family is taking him to court over guardianship of his son. That is some fucked up shit.
Smith: We have people in the back he can talk to.
Hood: CJ would rather get out his anger the good old fashioned way and that is by hurting people.
~ CJ looks over his shoulder and sees Storm is getting up to his feet. CJ turns around and blatantly kicks Mark right in the family jewels. As Mark bends down in pain clutching his groin area CJ grabs him by his hair and tights and throws him shoulder first into the barricade. CJ stands over Storm. Scruff warns CJ to stop. CJ pushes Scruff out of the way and tosses Storm back into the ring. O'Donnell slides into the ring and stalks a fallen Storm, waiting for him to stand. A hooded figure holding a sign rushes into the ring. Meyhu starts screaming at the person, remembering what happened to him last week. Before security can get in the ring, the figure raises their sign~
Hood: "I'm A Distraction?"
Smith: You heard it folks. He finally admits it!
Hood: Fuck off…that’s the last time I’ll ever read a fan’s stupid sign!
~While everyone is staring in confusion at the hooded figure inside the ring, a second hooded figure hops the barricade and taps Meyhu on the shoulder. The Marvel turns around and the second person hits him hard in the head with something. Meyhu goes down like a ton of bricks as the figure holds up a sock. They then turn the sock upside down, and we see poker chips fall from the sock. The camera zooms in on them and we see the Bally's logo on the chips. The figure then reaches in their pocket, pulls out a hand full of glitter and unceremoniously dumps it on Meyhu~
Smith: What the hell is going on?!?
Hood: The glitter is the trademark of her.. but the chips in the sock is...but they would never work together....
Smith: My brain hurts too.
~The first hooded individual flies through the ropes, joining the second. They both make themselves scarce as O'Donnell turns and discovers his fallen comrade. CJ is about to leave the ring to check on Meyhu but turns around, deciding to inflict more damage on Storm. As he does, he sees Storm has been helped out of the ring and is being led up the entrance ramp, toward the back. CJ is pissed~
Smith: CJ wasn’t done with Mark Storm…luckily this masked or THESE masked individuals saved Mark Storm from a more vicious beating
Hood: And they beat up Meyhu with a sock full of poker chips…I knew Meyhu had been doing some gambling but, holy shit, he’s in deep with the wrong people!
Smith: I believe it was more an allusion toward a famous rival of Meyhu’s who often used that device as a weapon.
Hood: Damn, talk about fucking brutal…gambling is hard enough. Hitting someone over the head with poker chips? That’s just mean, man
Smith: Indeed…well someone is trying to get Meyhu’s attention and I think they’ve done just that…who is this person? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out
Hood: Meyhu will get to the bottom of this…poker chips, glitter…I’m sure he already knows who it is!
Smith: Once he wakes up, maybe. But, in other news…CJ O’Donnell continues his winning streak by narrowly avoiding defeat. Mark Storm, meanwhile, appears to be serious about his run in OCW this year and that could lead to some big opportunities down the line
Hood: Yep…clouds have dispersed and the sun is shining…looks like everything is going to be okay, weather wise for the rest of the night!
Smith: Well, I guess we’re all glad to hear that! Let’s head backstage!
~We cut backstage where Who’Re is seen reading over a copy of The Wall Street Journal. She looks very confused. A dark, menacing figure creeps up behind her. The fans in the arena gasp~
Smith: Oh no! It’s the masked attacker! Turn around Who’Re! Turn around!!!
~Who’Re blithely flips around the periodical because, well, she can’t hear Smith. The figure reaches Who’Re and lunges forward, grabbing her in an aggressive embrace. Who’Re shrieks! She drops her paper. Who’Re turns around, struggling in the attacker’s arms. His grip loosens…we hear the attacker laugh. Who’Re slaps him in the chest~
Who’Re: Alpha! You scared me!
AKB: Haha…yea yea, well you looked so confused reading that stupid paper I felt I had to come over and create some kind of interruption…you know, before your head exploded. Why are you reading that shit anyway?
Who’Re: I’m just trying to expand my horizons…increase my brain power
AKB: Talk about a waste of time
Who’Re: Dick.
~Who’Re bends over and picks up the paper. She neatly folds it and places the bland, dry piece of literature on a stack of boxes behind her~
AKB: What’s up with you and that Dravers boy? We haven’t seen either of you in awhile.
Who’Re: I can’t talk about it
AKB: Can’t or won’t?
~Who’Re's eyes flare. She shoves AKB out of the way and runs ahead. A sweaty, grimacing CJ O'Donnell is seen walking backstage. Who'Re tries to get a word with him but CJ just puts his hand up to her face. He snatches the microphone out of her hand and stares at her for a few seconds before directing his attention to the camera~
CJ O'Donnell: Just keep your mouth shut. I called out legends last week but no one has the balls to face me. What is the matter are all of you guys comfortable sitting at home. Or are you playing a sport like golf because well we all know fags play that sports. So once again Big Bifford, Lurrr, “Perfect” Paul Paras, “Marvelous” Mario Mauruko, Pryde, Scott Syren, Silverfreak prove to me that you are legends. I think you all just got to comfortable and are afraid of the new breed of talent that the OCW has. It doesn't even have to be a sanctioned OCW match. I'll fight in any type of match. A bar, beach, an alleyway, a slaughter house it doesn't fucking matter to me I want to see what makes you an OCW Legend. Why are you guys so fucking special?
~ CJ hands Who'Re the microphone as he walks away but then he turns around and snatches it back out of her hand. ~
CJ O'Donnell: What you saw tonight was only the beginning. The attacks will continue to happen to people on the OCW roster. No one is safe. And if none of you OCW legends answer my challenge by May 29th to fight me then I am going to make an example out of ...
~ Dramatic pause by O'Donnell. ~
CJ O'Donnell: ... The Eastern European.
~ CJ drops the microphone on the floor as he walks away from Who'Re laughing. Who'Re has a look of concern on her face. We cut back to ringside~
Smith: I’m not the biggest fan of our on site GM but that seems a bit harsh
Hood: Would he even know he’s been attacked? I’m not sure the guy is aware of anything that goes on around him
Smith: I’d think the nerves running through his body would alert him to that painful fact
Hood: Yea, probably
Smith: The question remains, however…will any legends step up to CJ?
Hood: That remains to be seen…a few years ago, I’d say sure…these days, I don’t know. Most of the legends are digging the retired life
Smith: Indeed they are…we’ll have to see how this materializes…until then, we’ve got a main event to get to…are you ready?
Hood: Fuck yea, let’s do this!
Smith: Down to ringside we go!
OCW Paradigm Championship #1 Contenders Match
Mack O’Connor (6-2) vs. “The Icon” Shawn Rossdale (4-0)
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our MAIN EVENT. The winner of this match will face Bradley Carrington at Stainless Steel Ride in a POTENTIAL Paradigm Championship match.
~The lights go really bright, almost to the point where you think they might blow, but then they slowly dim. It goes black briefly for about 3 seconds then a light green fog settles around the entrance area. Then "Inside Us All" by Creed hits with the picking going on. Shawn Rossdale appears after a couple seconds. He stands at the top, with his hands on his hips, then points to everyone in the crowd in a roundabout way. Then points to the ring and power walks his way down the ramp slapping hands with whoever he can on the way down. Once he gets to the ring he hops up and jumps over the top rope. Does jumps again with his hands out and when he lands in a wide stance pyro go off of green and white just as "is it really worth it all" lyrics hit for the first time in the song. He then smiles and points to various people in the crowd, smiling and winking~
Belvedere: Introducing first, from Primrose Hill, London, England…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…”The Icon” Shawn Rossdale!!!
~”Vagabond” by the Greenskeepers hits and Mack O’Connor walks out on the stage. He walks directly to the ring, dressed in jeans and a black tank top. He occasionally raises an arm to acknowledge and get a rise out of the fans. He slides into the ring and starts pacing in his corner. He doesn’t talk trash to his opponent but he makes sure to stare them down, letting them know he means business~
Belvedere: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York…standing 6’3 and weighing in at 230lbs…he is a former OCW Champion…Mack O’Connor!!!
~The bell rings~
Smith: Big match up here…Shawn Rossdale is one of the top rising newcomers in OCW and Mack O’Connor, simply put is one of the best wrestlers in OCW history.
Hood: Why the fuck is Mack going for the Paradigm Championship?
Smith: That’s a great question…I’d guess it has something to do with the fact he’s already won the Savage…perhaps OCW management wanted to give him the opportunity to win a different title.
Hood: I guess…seems like he’s a better fit for the Savage division…but what the fuck do I know
~Rossdale and O’Connor meet in the center of the ring. Rossdale extends his hand in a show of sportsmanship. Mack reaches out with his left hand and shakes Rossdale’s. The crowd cheers…Mack then sucker punches Rossdale with his free, left hand!! Rossdale falls to the mat, holding his face in pain. Mack looks down at Shawn and smirks…the crowd boos Mack’s action~
Smith: That was rude!
Hood: That’s Mack…just because he’s getting cheered by the fans doesn’t make him that great a guy
Smith: Indeed…popular by circumstance. Anybody would be cheered going up against The Aptitude
Hood: That’s because most people have horrible taste.
~Rossdale looks up at Mack and grits his teeth. He nods his head and returns to his feet, quickly. He rushes Mack and the two lock up. Shawn gets the upper hand initially do to his forward momentum…Mack, however, overpowers him with his size and strength. He backs Rossdale against the ropes. Scruff calls for a break…Mack starts to break but drives a knee into Shawn’s gut before breaking entirely. The fans boo. Scruff extends his arms like “what the hell, bro?” Mack pushes Scruff out of the way and proceeds to drive knee after knee into Rossdale’s abdomen. After several gut wrenching blows, he tosses Shawn at the mat…Rossdale rolls into the center of the ring, holding his stomach in pain~
Smith: This is the brutal side of Mack O’Connor we’ve all known existed...we just haven’t seen much of it in 2017
Hood: Are you fucking blind? The guy has been involved in the two most brutal matches of 2017
Smith: Okay, so you have a point. I guess this is the first time I’ve felt a strong distaste for Mack and his method
Hood: That’s because you fucking like the guy he’s wrestling
~Mack heads over Rossdale and stomps a right foot into his back! Rossdale arches his back in pain and rolls over, facing the ceiling. Mack then stomps on Rossdale’s face!! Rossdale rolls onto his stomach, holding his face in pain. Mack steps on the back of Rossdale’s neck…he lifts his other foot up and places all 230 pounds of his frame onto the skinny, bridge like portion that is the back of Shawn Rossdale’s neck. Rossdale kicks his legs and yells out in pain as Scruff counts for a break~
Smith: Get off his neck! Mack could seriously injure Rossdale!
Hood: Why? Does Rossdale not work his neck out?
Smith: I’m sure he does…but that’s a lot of weight being placed on a fairly delicate part of the human body
Hood: Damn, so Rossdale skips ‘neck’ day at the gym. What a pussy
Smith: I never said that!
~Mack continues to press down on Rossdale’s neck. Scruff has reached his five count. Mack eyes Scruff as if to say, “I dare you, DQ me.” Scruff stands, hesitant. Mack finally steps off, having made his point. He pulls Rossdale to his feet…Rossdale’s face is contorted by pain. Mack kicks him into the gut and drops him head first into the mat with a DDT. The crowd is firmly AGAINST Mack at this point. He rolls Rossdale over and makes a casual pin attempt~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Pretty close for so early…Mack O’Connor has wrestled a very underhanded match thus far
Hood: Shawn Rossdale should THANK Mack for this…O’Connor is beating a valuable lesson into him
Smith: Rossdale is a veteran…he doesn’t need anybody beating any wrestling lesson into him
Hood: Apparently he does
~Mack returns to his feet. He takes his foot and places the bottom onto Shawn’s cheek. Shawn remains on his back. Mack kicks at Shawn’s face, manipulating his head and neck back and forth. Finally, Shawn rolls over, shoving Mack’s foot away. Mack STOMPS Shawn in the lower back! Shawn yells in pain. Mack grabs Rossdale by the hair and forces him up…he viciously slams him into the corner and delivers several bar room type punches into Rossdale’s midsection~
Smith: Mack having his way with The Icon at the moment.
Hood: He’s beating that nickname right off of Rossdale
Smith: I will admit that this performance from Shawn Rossdale hasn’t been very iconic…but there’s still plenty of time remaining
Hood: How do you know? Mack could pin his ass in five seconds
Smith: I guess that’s true
~Mack takes a few steps back. Rossdale staggers toward him. Mack throws a jab into Shawn’s chin. Shawn nearly falls over. Mack delivers another jab, to the other side of Shawn’s face…he nearly falls over once more. Finally, Mack brings Shawn in and hooks him for Claymore!! He lifts Shawn up…Shawn breaks free in midair and places his shins into Mack’s face! Shawn falls to the mat and busts Mack’s face with a Codebreaker!!! Mack stumbles back, into the ropes!! The crowd goes wild!! Mack falls through the ropes and lands on the apron where he remains, reeling from being stunned~
Smith: Wow! What a move by Shawn Rossdale…an iconic reversal!
Hood: Whoa, whoa…let’s not throw that word around so haphazardly…it was a good counter, but, iconic? I don’t think so
Smith: Answer me this…if that had been CJ O’Donnell performing that counter…would you have called it iconic?
Hood: Well, I mean CJ is an icon so, sure
Smith: Whatever
~The crowd chants “ROSS-DALE!” over and over again. Shawn crawls for the ropes…he grabs onto them and slowly pulls himself up. He can feel the energy from the crowd. He turns around and spots Mack seated on the apron, holding his chin. Rossdale charges at Mack…he jumps into the air and comes down with a dropkick into Mack’s shoulder! Mack flies off the apron and slams side first into the barricade!! Rossdale returns to his feet and heads to the nearest corner. The crowd rises as he begins to ascend. Mack adjusts his positioning with his back firming against the barricade. He’s wincing, unaware. Rossdale reaches the top and turns his back to Mack…the crowd gasps with that ‘oh shit’ sound. Rossdale leaps off with a moon sault!! It’s perfectly executed!! He hits Mack!! The momentum takes both men over the barricade into the crowd…Rossdale lands on his feet while Mack tumbles onto his head before flipping onto his face and stomach~
Smith: Oh my gosh!! Shawn Rossdale just put it all on the line!
Hood: Fucker went all in with suited connectors!
Smith: That’s a surprisingly strong starting hand
Hood: I guess…but I wouldn’t go all in unless I had AT LEAST Kings or Aces…this is, of course, pre flop with a solid chip stack.
Smith: Do we really need to get that technical with a hold em analogy?
Hood: Of course! We don’t want our fans getting card sharked!
~The crowd goes wild! Men in the crowd give Rossdale a hearty pat on the back. Women try to slide him their phone number. He responds by telling them he’s newly engaged. He then stomps on Mack a few times, keeping the former OCW Champion down. He nearly palms Mack’s bald head, pulling him up. He bends over and lifts Mack onto his shoulders…Shawn staggers, slightly, under the weight of O’Connor. He then backs up against the barricade and leans backward…Mack falls off and SLAMS onto the floor at ringside with a modified Electric Chair!! Rossdale remains leaning against the barricade. A few women rub his sweating abdomen…Shawn swats their hands away, “No offense but I’m engaged! I already told you!” He hops over the barricade to get away from the hungry women~
Smith: I wish these women would respect Shawn Rossdale’s engagement!
Hood: I’m sure they know all about it…the guy proposes to women after knowing them for a few weeks…they probably think they could be next!
Smith: Hey, when you know, you know
Hood: How could you possibly know that quickly? Who is he, Nicholas Sparks?
~Rossdale picks Mack up…he hoists Mack onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s carry….Rossdale stands near the apron. Scruff yells out “FIVE!” Rossdale twirls Mack around for an F-5!! Mack’s face smacks against the apron!! His body bends backwards as his knees hit the ground!! He falls over, onto his back, completely unconscious!! The crowd goes wild with chants of “Holy Shit!!” Rossdale is seated with his back to the apron…the move was more dangerous than he had anticipated…he nearly knocked himself out in the process…the back of his head narrowly missing the apron. He gets up and pulls Mack to his feet. He rolls Mack into the ring….Mack’s limp body rolls 3 times, settling on its back near the center~
Smith: I’ve never seen that before, ever
Hood: It’s Shawn Rossdale’s first OCW main event…he’s going to do what is necessary to win…plus, he’s engaged now
Smith: So?
Hood: So, he’s got to make that money. Wives aren’t cheap
~Rossdale scales the nearest corner. He reaches the top and looks down at Mack. He leaps off with a flying elbow!!! It connects!! The crowd goes wild. Rossdale hooks Mack’s leg as Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Shoulder Up!!!!
Smith: Unbelievable!!
Hood: I say it every time we watch that drunk fucker wrestle…but, seriously, you don’t want to fight Mack O’Connor…his nerves are constantly dulled from alcohol abuse
Smith: He had enough sense to kick out there
Hood: It’s from all those bar room brawls…he probably does the same shit whenever he passes out on the couch…just starts randomly kicking his legs and lifting his shoulders.
Smith: I hope he has a sturdy warranty on any and all furniture he acquires
~Rossdale rolls over, shaking his head. He’s shocked Mack kicked out. Scruff stands up and, out of habit, shows the peace sign. Rossdale nods, having no argument with the count. He returns to his feet. Mack is on all fours. Rossdale runs in and kicks Mack in the ribs! Mack flips onto his back, clutching his side. Rossdale stands back and waits for Mack to get to his feet…the fans rise sensing Distortion~
Smith: Rossdale is aiming for Distortion…if he hits it this match is over!
Hood: Could end Mack’s OCW career…these Cassidy guys are losing their minds
Smith: Well, it’s been a rough 2017 for The Clientele
Hood: Rough? Rough ended a month ago…this is downright insulting!
~Mack stands…Rossdale springs forward with Distortion…but Mack catches his leg!! He twirls Rossdale around and lifts him up…he slams him across his knee with an Atomic Drop!! Rossdale staggers into the ropes…he ricochets off and Mack throws a vicious forearm into the kidney of Shawn. Rossdale falls to his knees and then onto his side, reeling from the impact. Mack starts to catch his breath~
Smith: Vicious blow delivered by the former OCW Champion
Hood: Hey, just because Mack’s kidneys are failing doesn’t mean he has to destroy The Icon’s!
Smith: Are you pulling for Rossdale?
Hood: Nah, anybody who proposes to a girl in a month isn’t smart enough to win a title around here…in my opinion, anyway
Smith: True love knows no bounds, Hood
Hood: You sound like a shitty Hallmark card
~Rossdale returns to his knees…he tries to get to his feet but Mack approaches from behind. He hooks Rossdale’s head under his arm, face up. He swiftly drops Rossdale to the mat with an inverted DDT. Mack doesn’t waste any time going for a pin…he knows he’s got to do more. He pulls Rossdale up and hoists him over his shoulder…he heads toward the corner and drops Rossdale with Snake Eyes!! Rossdale backs out and Mack hooks him and lifts him into the air with a German Suplex!! He bridges for the pin…Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
Kick Out!!
Smith: Wow, Mack O’Connor with the perfectly executed bridged German Suplex
Hood: He must be auditioning for the Paradigm Championship…proving to Welsh that he knows a few wrestling moves
Smith: As if that was in question?
Hood: Shit, to me it was…guy is always punching and kicking…I was beginning to wonder if he knew any wrestling moves outside of the damn Claymore
~Mack pulls Rossdale up…he hooks him for Claymore! The fans pop…Rossdale fights out with elbows. His elbows are annoying and painful…Mack shoves him off in anger. Rossdale hits the ropes and LUNGES forward with Distortion…Mack dodges it! As Rossdale shoots by Mack, he reaches out, grabs Mack’s head and drops him to the mat with Slingblade!! The crowd goes wild…both men are on the mat, breathing heavily~
Smith: It’s been a back and forth match…Mack dominated early followed by Rossdale nearly putting him away…now, here we stand, both men exhausted
Hood: He may not be an OCW Icon…yet…but the fucking guy is doing everything he can to win
Smith: Indeed…an impressive performance by both men…Bradley Carrington is going to have his work cut out for him when facing the winner
Hood: The Professor can and will handle it
~Rossdale rolls over onto all fours and crawls to Mack’s feet. He stands and picks Mack’s leg up. Mack instantly reacts knowing what this can and probably will lead to…he kicks his leg wildly, shoving Rossdale away. Mack sits up…Rossdale sprints forward with a knee…Mack lays back down…Rossdale whiffs…Mack rolls Rossdale up from behind but he doesn’t pin him…instead he pops to his feet. Rossdale sits up and kicks him in the face!! Rossdale leans to the side…Mack grabs him by the hair and yanks him to his feet, tossing him with aggression into a corner~
Smith: Fast sequence there…Rossdale was looking for his submission The Proper Ending…we haven’t seen it yet in OCW but I’m told it’s almost inescapable.
Hood: Who says Mack is a drunken fool? He clearly knew that’s what Rossdale was going for…
Smith: Excellent point
Hood: That or he thought Rossdale was going after his dick
Smith: Shawn Rossdale would never do that…he’s an engaged man!
Hood: Yes…WE KNOW
~Mack delivers a punch into Shawn’s jaw. Shawn doesn’t sell…he lunges forward with a headbutt into Mack’s chest! Mack breathes in, swallowing the pain. He throws another punch…again, Rossdale does not sell. He throws a second head butt into Mack’s chest!! This time Mack staggers back a step. Mack fires up and throws a haymaker into the left side of Rossdale’s jaw!! Rossdale sells this, for a moment…the fires back with a head butt into Mack’s chest! Mack staggers…Rossdale throws another head butt into Mack’s chest…Mack falters…Mack throws a kick in retaliation…Rossdale catches Mack’s leg and hooks it at the knee…the throws a final head butt, this one into Mack’s chin!! Mack falls to the mat…Rossdale has Mack’s leg already under his arm…the crowd leaps to their feet~
Smith: What an exchange!
Hood: This guy is fucking insane…he’s going to be brain dead when this match is over!
Smith: He’s doing what he must to advance
Hood: I don’t know how long he can hold onto a fine woman if he can’t string a fucking thought together
Smith: He’ll be fine!
Hood: Ture, there’s always Who’Re
~Rossdale grabs Mack’s other leg…he steps through, locks the legs and rolls Mack over…he’s got him locked in The Proper Ending (Sharpshooter)!!! The crowd goes wild. Rossdale sits back and pulls…Mack’s body resembles that of a scorpion, his legs are elevated and his back torqued…he places both hands on the mat, palms down and pushes up, trying to break free. Rossdale continues to apply pressure…he gets a little woozy but manages to maintain his grip, shaking his head~
Smith: Mack O’Connor can’t withstand this much longer
Hood: The fuck is with Rossdale? He almost passed out there
Smith: All of those head butts and punches to the head…with the adrenaline slowing a bit, it might finally be registering
Hood: That’d be a first…fucking guy who is applying the submission passes out
Smith: Indeed
~Rossdale continues to struggle with his balance and consciousness. His head is throbbing, his equilibrium dancing. Mack senses Rossdale weakening…he starts to crawl toward the ropes. Rossdale senses their position shifting…he re grips Mack’s legs and strengthens his footing. Mack has trouble moving Rossdale another inch…he grimaces in pain as Scruff asks Mack if he wants to give it up. Mack yells “FUCK OFF”. Scruff shrugs and watches Mack’s eyes and arm in case of a pass or tap out~
Smith: I don’t know how much more of this Mack can stand
Hood: I wonder if that’s how Elvis looked before he died on the fucking toilet
Smith: Huh?
Hood: Like Rossdale looks right now…all straining, wobbly…about to fall over…I bet that’s how Elvis looked in the final moments of his life.
Smith: I like to remember the King in his prime, thank you very much
Hood: I like to remember him as that old demon killer in Bubba Ho Tep!
~Rossdale starts to fade…Mack crawls nearer the ropes. Rossdale wakes up and solidifies his spot! Mack grimaces…sweat is pouring down his face, he’s in tremendous pain. He raises his right hand….you can feel every person in the crowd leaning forward in suspense…Scruff lifts his hand, the closest one to the bell, ready to signal at any moment. Rossdale’s grip loosens one more time as he gets a little woozy…Mack makes a desperate lunge and GRABS the bottom rope!! Rossdale falls over, his legs still locked with Mack’s. The crowd sits down…some cheer, others boo. Scruff shakes his head as if to say “Whew, that was close”~
Smith: Whew…Mack O’Connor was close to giving this one up, I think
Hood: Man, if that had happened, Treat Cassidy would have probably tried to bomb the OCW Arena
Smith: I hope a man of Treat’s stature would have a bit more professionalism than that!
Hood: Yea, I don’t think he does
~Mack kicks his legs free. He pulls himself into a corner and remains seated. His back is screaming with pain. Rossdale gets to his feet….he stumbles around like a man with a bad case of vertigo. Mack spots the disheveled Rossdale and senses and opportunity. He pulls himself up and sneaks toward Rossdale. Rossdale is holding the side of his head and shaking it…his ears must be ringing. Mack is behind him…the crowd yells “Turn around!” Rossdale does and Mack lifts him up into the air and to the mat with Claymore!!!! The place explodes with a mishmash of cheers and boos…it’s totally mixed. Mack grabs his back for a moment after the move…the weight of Rossdale aggravated the lingering pain from The Proper Ending. He sucks it up, rights through and crawls on top of Rossdale. Scruff slides in for the count~
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP!
Smith: Shawn Rossdale kicked out of Claymore!!
Hood: Holy Shit!
Smith: He might pull this off…he might truly be The Icon
Hood: Treat Cassidy is getting that bomb ready
~Mack reaches over and grabs Scruff by the collar. He gets to his feet and bullies Scruff against the ropes. The fans boo. Mack is CERTAIN it was a slow count. Scruff holds up the peace sign. Mack slaps it down and points his finger in Scruff’s face. His finger balls into a fist as he threatens to punch Scruff in the face! The fans boo loudly and start to chant for Rossdale~
Smith: The fans want Shawn Rossdale to step in and stop this but…I’m not sure he has the energy OR whereabouts to do so
Hood: They’d better wake him up…I think sleeping with a concussion is bad
Smith: I think you’re correct
Hood: Or maybe he’s doing it on purpose as a way to get out of the engagement…death
Smith: He wouldn’t do that!
~Rossdale slowly rises. He’s barely conscious. Mack is about to punch Scruff…Rossdale reaches out and grabs his arm! Mack turns around and EATS Distortion!!! Mack falls to the mat…Rossdale falls face first to the canvas himself. The crowd goes wild!! Both men are down with Scruff feeling like he escaped a potential death blow~
Smith: Distortion!! Shawn Rossdale has got to get over to Mack and cover him…if he does, it’s over!
Hood: Son of a bitch!! Somebody get Mack his flask…it’s like his spinach!
Smith: No, this is the Paradigm Division…NO Flasks!
Hood: You’re just like Welsh…trying to handicap Treat’s boys!
~Rossdale slowly crawls toward Mack. The fans are DYING for him to get there. Scruff is poised, ready to count. Rossdale drags his malfunctioning carcass near Mack…he FINALLY flings his arm over the bare chest of O’Connor. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3
NO! Shoulder Up!!
Smith: Mack got the shoulder up!
Hood: Fuck…I hate it when the count goes that way…it’s soooo fucking cheap…douche bag way of tricking people. Scruff needs to learn how to keep that hand from hitting a third time if it ISN’T a three count
Smith: Agreed
~Rossdale crawls for the ropes. He hugs the bottom rope. He has a faraway gaze…he’s most likely concussed. Mack slowly sits up…he feels under his iron jaw…it’s battered but intact. He gets to his feet first. Rossdale’s shaky arms rattle the ropes as he ascends. He reaches his feet and turns around. O’Connor hooks him for Claymore!! The crowd rises…Rossdale elbows him five times in the side of the head…O’Connor lets him go and staggers forward. Rossdale positions his weight for Distortion…Mack turns around…Rossdale throws Distortion at Mack…Mack ducks it, hooks Rossdale, lifts him up and SLAMS him into the mat with Claymore!! The crowd explodes with their mixed reaction…Scruff slides in as Mack covers Rossdale~
1!
2!
3!!!!!
~The crowd starts to turn on Mack. They boo and voice their displeasure toward Rossdale’s loss. The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the man who will face Bradley Carrington at Stainless Steel Ride in a potential OCW Paradigm Championship Match…MACK O’CONNOR!!!!!
Smith: Ugh…crushing way to end the match….I really thought Rossdale had him
Hood: It sure looked that way…fucker may not have won, but he’s closer now to being an Icon than he was before the match.
Smith: Indeed he is…on the flip side, Mack O’Connor earns another title opportunity. He will face Bradley Carrington at Stainless Steel Ride…the winner will either be the Paradigm Champion at the end of the event OR will face The Incredible One for the Paradigm Championship a few weeks later.
Hood: Treat Cassidy’s clientele gets fucked again!
Smith: Easy, Hood…easy!
Hood: Good night for Treat’s boys, though. They may have felt shunned but that didn’t stop them from fighting…fuckin right, way to bounce back!
Smith: It was a good night for Iggy and Mack…tonight was all about clearing up the picture for Stainless Steel Ride…we are only FOUR Massacres away from the ground breaking event with still plenty up in the air
Hood: Four weeks? Holy shit…that’s like a month!
Smith: Yes, that is like a month, Hood. Alright folks…that wraps up another exciting edition of Massacre…tune in next week as we continue our march toward Stainless Steel Ride…I’m your host Smith and, alongside me is Hood…we’ll see you next time!
~Mack has exited the ring. Rossdale is being aided to his feet. The fans are cheering his efforts with an ‘ICON!’ chant filling up the arena. Our final image is of the battered but far from beaten Shawn Rossdale. We fade out~