OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, May 1st 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida
~The OCW logo flashes onto the screen. It fades out. We cut directly into the OCW Arena. The fans are HOTTER than Annie Alvarez in BOOTY SHORTS. We pan through the psychotic people, taking a look at their signs. “LET’S GET DISTINGUISHED” “NO, FUCK THAT, LET’S GET INTENSE!” “TOKYO KNIVES ARE GOING TO CARVE UP THE OCW TAG DIVISION” “THE ICON IS AN ICON” this person is so stupid he forgets to breathe and passes out. “MACK O’CONNOR HAS NO LIVER” “MY BARREN WIFE GOT PREGNANT AFTER WATCHING MEHYU’S PERFORMANCE LAST WEEK.” The people around this man pat him on the back and hand him complimentary cigars. “I KNOW WHAT’S IN TONY’S FANNY PACK” “CURT CANON HAS DEDICATED TONIGHT’S MATCH TO CHECKERS DECEASED RELATIVES!” and, we find two final signs “TIO OWNS MJ BELL” “MJ BELL CONTROLS HER OWN FATE.” We cut to the announcers~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE
Hood: Whoa, geez, calm down. I just woke up from a fucking nap
Smith: Sorry but I’ve been guzzling coffee all day looking forward to tonight’s event…it’s gonna be LIT
Hood: Easy, JOCK….we don’t want you getting arrested for whatever the hell that weirdo got busted for on Survivor.
Smith: Good point. Well, folks…tonight is a strange night. We are bringing a grand total of THREE matches to you this evening…
Hood: Two and a half
Smith: Huh?
Hood: Two and a fucking half…it’s Deluxxx, man. They don’t really count.
Smith: Right…well, I’m sticking with three. We’re bringing to you an abbreviated card…but, if you think that’s being shortchanged…you couldn’t be more wrong. We’ve got a mini rumble to determine a number one contender to the now VACANT OCW Title…
Hood: CJ or Meyhu will win that
Smith: That remains to be seen…and we’ve got a match that’s taken three years to put together. A storyline so deep in drama and emotion that I don’t think any match could do it justice.
Hood: Wow, you really like your soap operas, don’t you?
Smith: The story between The Incredible One and MJ Bell reaches an impasse tonight. No longer can they co-exist in this company without friction…they must do battle.
Hood: About fucking time…like watching a porno with ten minutes of dialogue. JUST GET TO IT
Smith: And, as if that weren’t enough…as if the amazing story between these two weren’t enough…the Paradigm Title is at stake AS WELL AS a shot at the vacant OCW Title.
Hood: Which means we could see an all Aptitude OCW Title match!
Smith: Let’s hope that doesn’t happen for the sake of this legendary company
Hood: I’m fucking PUMPED
Smith: Alright…before we get started…let’s cut to a hype video for a signing who is set to make his debut next week…
~The scene switches to a highlight package of the 5'9" 199 pound ring-veteran - "Grade A" PKA - the Ultraviolent Perfectionist - performing various of his trademark moves in rapid-fire shots~
Forearm Strike...
Forearm Strike...
Forearm Strike...
Spinning Wheel Kick...
Spinning Wheel Kick...
Spinning Wheel Kick...
Hurricanrana...
Hurricanrana...
Hurricanrana...
Cartwheel into Somersault Plancha...
Cartwheel into Somersault Plancha...
Cartwheel into Somersault Plancha...
Running corner dropkick...
Running corner dropkick...
Running corner dropkick...
Cross-Arm Brainbuster...
Cross-Arm Brainbuster...
Cross-Arm Brainbuster...
Flipping DDT...
"1. 2. 3."
"P. K. A."
"Coming Soon"
~Fade back to the announcers~
Smith: PKA will debut next week...I've heard great things about this veteran
Hood: No doubt...we don't sign scrubs...or, well, MANY scrubs
Smith: Indeed...it will be interesting to see what PKA brings to the ring next week on Massacre. But, speaking of debuts...we've got a major debut scheduled next
Hood: Another APTITUDE MEMBER?
Smith: NO! Tokyo Knives are set to make their in ring debut as a team here in OCW...so, let's head down to ringside!
Tokyo Knives (0-0) vs. Deluxxx (0-1)
~We see John E Depth and Shootah in the ring. Depth is trying to keep Shootah in their corner. He says something like, “Don’t do that, it’s embarrassing!” Shootah argues back. Depth finally throws his hands in the air as Shootah approaches Belvedere~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…at a total combined weight of 410lbs…Deluxxx!!!
~Belvedere looks at Shootah. Shootah hands Belvedere a sheet of paper. We over hear Belvedere asking, “A doctor’s note?” in his regal, perfect voice. Belvedere looks outside the ring. An OCW official shakes his head, ‘no’. Belvedere says, “Sorry, Shootah.” Shootah sulks back into the corner~
~Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' blares through the speakers, as Jacqui M appears on the platform, devil horns already in the air. As she begins to walk down the entrance way, the blonde allows herself a moment to headbang to her entrance tune, before making her way down to the ring. She enters it without much of a fuss, sheds her leather jacket, and waits for the bell to ring.~
Belvedere: Introducing their opponents…first, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 130lbs…Jacqui Monroe!
~The very second the opening chords to "Ride On Shooting Star (FLCL Ending Extended)" by The Pillows strikes, the crowd is already on their feet for Kenshin Takamura as he emerges from the entrance tunnel. With a confident smirk on his face, The Ace of Aces raises his index finger up to the sky, gaining him a thunderous pop as the audience also mirrors him in the stands. This brings a grin to his face before he continues down the entrance ramp, slapping a few hands on his way to the ring. After jogging up the stairs, he crosses the apron and raises an index finger toward the crowd who, once again, mirror him as they cheer him on. Cameras flash like strobe lights as he turns and vaults himself over the ropes. He crosses to the far turnbuckle, pulls himself up, and, once more, raises his index finger toward the crowd, and, you guessed it, they mirror him again and rabidly take pictures. He looks around at the audience with a smile and a nod before backflipping off the top rope, displaying his impressive athletic ability despite his age. As he takes his corner, Takamura stretches out while awaiting the starting bell~
Belvedere: And…making his RETURN to OCW…from Tokyo, Kantō, Japan…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 228lbs….he is a former OCW Internet Champion…Kenshin Takamura!!!
~The crowd goes wild. Kenshin and Jacqui stand side by side in their corner~
Belvedere: Together…they make up the team of TOKYO KNIVES!
~The crowd chants’ KNIVES! KNIVES!’ The Knife Man is probably in love with this moment. Kenshin and Jacqui discuss their strategy. Depth rolls his eyes and tells Shootah to just stand on the apron. The bell rings~
Smith: A nice solo introduction for both members of Tokyo Knives…we all remember Kenshin Takamura from 2014…one of the best competitors we had at that time
Hood: Yep, dude is legit
Smith: This time he shows up with company in the form of Jacqui Monroe…a tough talking, hold nothing back competitor.
Hood: I’m told she’s the ALPHA BITCH
Smith: Wow, you did your homework
Hood: Hey, when it comes to crazy women, I always dig deep
Smith: Gross
~Monroe starts the match out for Tokyo Knives. Depth meets her in the middle of the ring. He looks Mornoe up and down and smiles…he nods, approving of her body. He mimes taking pictures of her. He points and says, “You’d be a great porn star…slutty look really suits you.” Monroe kind of smiles…she lunges forward and drills Depth in the face with a forearm!! Depth staggers back…he didn’t expect that. Monroe claws at his face…Scruff advises against it…she stops and knees Depth in the gut a few times. She whips him across the ring…he hits the opposing ropes and bounces off…Monroe DRILLS him in the face with a devastating Superkick!!~
Smith: The Jacqui Kick!! He could be out!
Hood: Alpha Bitch indeed…remind me to stay away from that woman
Smith: For the sake of your loved ones…if you have any, I will do just that
Hood: Hey, somebody has to feed my Tamagotchi
Smith: Wow, those still exist?
Hood: Fuck yea they do
~The crowd chants “Jacqui!” She looks down at Depth and stomps on his face. She heads into the corner and tags Kenshin into the match. The crowd ERUPTS seeing Takamura back in an OCW ring. He reaches for Depth and grabs a handful of his thick hair. He whips Depth into a corner. Depth hits hard. Kenshin charges in and delivers a splash…he seamlessly, after the splash, slides over the top rope and lands on the apron. Depth staggers out of the corner. Kenshin climbs to the top and leaps off, drilling Depth face first into the mat with a Bulldog from the top~
Smith: Tremendous offense by Kenshin Takamura…he’s as smooth and efficient as I remember
Hood: Smooth, huh? You wanna get in there and rub lotion on his skin?
Smith: Of course not!
Hood: IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!
~Takamura stands Depth up. He’s wobbly…about to fall over. Kenshin measures Depth up he spins around and CRUSHES Depth in the face with a Roaring Elbow!!! Depth falls to the mat…he’s done. Kenshin looks at Depth then over at Shootah. Shootah hops off the mat and points at his paper “Dcotor’s note, yo.” Kenshin looks at Jacqui. He points at Jacqui and the crowd chants ‘YES!’ Kenshin nods and walks over, he tags his partner into the match…the crowd pops~
Smith: Depth is done…Shootah won’t compete…so this one is all Jacqui’s
Hood: I guess that makes Kenshin some kind of gentleman?
Smith: Perhaps…but it’s also an opportunity to showcase Jacqui Monroe to the OCW audience
Hood: Yea…I wonder how MJ Bell feels about all this
Smith: Oh quit stirring the pot
Hood: I’m just saying rumor has it that Kenshin was AGAINST the move from Platinum BACK to Orange.
Smith: Yea, well Jacqui has blonde hair…so that argument is irrelevant
Hood: Blonde’s a lot closer to platinum than orange
~Jacqui pulls Depth to his feet. She hooks his head under her arm…she does a single under hook with his right arm…she kicks her legs out and drops him face first with a Modified Single Under hook DDT!!! She rolls Depth over and covers him. Scruff makes the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here are your winners…Jacqui Monroe and Kenshin Takamura…TOKYO KNIVES!!!!!
Smith: And Jacqui gets the pin with the Drop Dead Gorgeous! What a dominating performance! Kenshin and Jacqui went in there and took care of business.
Hood: Kenshin looks badass as always and Jacqui…well, I wouldn’t want to fuck with that bitch
Smith: Indeed…The Aptitude had to have been watching that match up
Hood: True…but they’ve got a lot of shit on their minds tonight so…maybe not
Smith: It’s pretty clear to me that Tokyo Knives are going to receive a shot at The Aptitude at some point in the future…it’s only a matter of time.
Hood: And they will fall…just like everyone else
Smith: That remains to be seen…well folks…what a great way to start the night off. Two great additions to the roster who are going to make a huge impact. We’ve got two matches set to take place in a short amount of time…so, before we get to them…let’s take a look at some footage from earlier today
~We cut to a video recorded earlier in the day. GM Marcus Welsh is seated inside the Governor’s office. John Bel Edwards is his name and governing is his game. He steps into the office…it doesn’t appear Welsh has been waiting long. He takes a seat behind his desk and tosses a mint into his mouth~
Governor Edwards: Mr Welsh, sorry to keep you waiting but, as you can imagine – running an entire state keeps me pretty busy.
Marcus Welsh: Oh, absolutely…but you do a great job. I’d rank you, easily, in my top five governors.
Governor Edwards: That’s wonderful of you to say. Believe it or not being the governor of Louisiana comes with a fair amount of scrutiny and speculation. So, to hear a man of your stature make a statement like that is refreshing.
Marcus Welsh: Hey, it’s the truth.
~Welsh smiles, Edwards smiles. They are both so fucking phony~
Governor Edwards: Now, I’m sorry you had to fly all the way out here to hear this. I tried making it clear over the phone to save you the time and energy.
Marcus Welsh: I understand that but I also know there are certain deals that are easier to negotiate in person rather than over the phone, email…you know what I mean.
Governor Edwards: Even if I did have a clue toward your allusions…I simply could not void this contract. The state of Louisiana thrives on events such as these and we feel, based on word of mouth that’s already been spreading throughout the southern Louisiana community that this event is going to be a massive success. It could bring millions of dollars into our poverty stricken communities.
Marcus Welsh: I get that, completely. But I want you to know that I work for a man who has more money than an event of this size could ever dream of creating. So, let’s get to the point…you throw me a number, along with a finder’s fee and everyone can leave happy.
~The Governor sits back. Money certainly talks with this man…which should come as no surprise…Politics + Louisiana = Ultimate Corruption. Welsh catches the man glancing at a photo of a geeky, scrawny kid in a basketball uniform~
Governor Edwards: Yea…I can’t. I’ve already made too many promises.
Marcus Welsh: Is that your kid?
~The Governor looks at the photo once more~
Governor Edwards: Nope…he’s my godson. I attend mass regularly at St. Helena Roman Catholic Church…he’s the son of a very affluent family. Parents are big donators…so, you know, as long as I show up to a few of the kid’s games, display an interest…they keep elevating my campaign when the time comes.
Marcus Welsh: Gotcha…he must be really special to you
Governor Edwards: Not really, kid’s a brat, if you want to know the truth. Can’t stand him…he graduated high school a few years ago and is now interning here in the Governor’s Mansion. I’d do almost anything to get rid of the little pest. He does enjoy professional wrestling though…very excited about the event on June 19th.
Marcus Welsh: Deal.
Governor Edwards: Huh?
Marcus Welsh: You toss me a number and a finder’s fee…cancel the contract and we’ll offer the kid an OCW contract.
Governor Edwards: I must have failed to mention the part about him lacking any semblance of athleticism.
Marcus Welsh: That’s fine…he’s young, we’ll stick him with Jack Puffer or something…who knows, might toughen him up.
Governor Edwards: Hmm
~Edwards thinks long and hard about this. Welsh senses he’s close~
Governor Edwards: Ya know, I think they just might go for it. Alright, Marcus, I think we have a deal!
~Edwards grabs a pen and pulls the OCW/Louisiana State Pen contract out. He moves to void the deal. Suddenly, the door is kicked in. Welsh turns around in his seat. The Governor falls out of his chair. A large, no fuck around, burly man in an officer’s uniform and sporting a GIANT STACHE steps in~
Burly Man: Excuse me gentlemen but I am Warden Jonathan Love. Governor Edwards, I am here to apprehend you on charges of bribery and human trafficking.
~Edwards leaps to his feet. He’s caught. He stumbles over his words~
Governor Edwards: Wait, wait…Warden Love! I wasn’t REALLY going to terminate that contract. I was just joking around.
Marcus Welsh: This is bullshit! Finish what you started, Governor…Buffet’s lawyers will protect you!
Governor Edwards: Uh…eh…I…
~Governor Edwards is torn~
Warden Love: Mr. Welsh, if you do not exit this office immediately I will have you taken to the Louisiana State Pen on charges of obstruction of justice. And you can explain to those prisoners…including DIRTY Devin McKnight why they aren’t WORTHY enough to attend a wrestling show.
~Welsh has no choice. He exits. The door slams shut. We hear shouting, cowering, a couple of hard slaps followed by a bit of crying. Welsh looks over at the Governor’s secretary. She offers him an Altoid. He declines. The door opens and Warden Love marches past Marcus~
Warden Love: Good day, Mr. Welsh.
~Welsh turns around. The red eyed Governor is standing in his doorway~
Governor Edwards: The event will go on as scheduled live from the Louisiana State Pen on Monday, June 19th. I suggest you have a name and poster ready for promotion by next Monday.
~Welsh starts to protest but the door is slammed in his face. He looks at the carpet. He doesn’t move for several moments. The secretary seems nervous…she offers him another Altoid. He doesn’t respond. He finally moves and yells~
Marcus Welsh: FUCK!!!!
~Welsh storms out of the office…he pulls his phone out and dials Buffet. We fade back to the announce team~
Smith: Well, I can tell you one thing…I am not attending that show
Hood: You’re gonna have to
Smith: This job…it never ceases to make me do terrible things
Hood: Yep, it certainly has its perks
Smith: I mean…what are they going to call such an event? How do they market it? This is a disaster…don’t you realize…we only do four of these events a year…what a waste
Hood: Hey…you never know, it could be cool
Smith: No…no…it will NOT be cool. This will NEVER be cool
Hood: Meh
Smith: How can you be so calm about all of this?
Hood: Because, if some rapey prisoner gets loose and comes after us…I’ve got your ass to protect mine
Smith: I hate you…anyway, folks…I’m going to block all of THAT out of my mind and focus on some exciting news…meaning, the in ring action! Up next is the Mini Rumble to figure out one half of the OCW Title picture.
Hood: FUCK YEA
Smith: Sixteen of the best talent OCW has to offer will step into the ring with the ultimate opportunity on the line…let’s head down to ringside and find out who emerges as the number one contender!
Hood: Fuck yea TIMES TWO
Smith: Indeed
Mini Massacre Rumble
16 Entrancts
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for the Mini Massacre Rumble!! In order to win this match you must be the last wrestler standing after all 15 other participants have been tossed OVER the top rope with BOTH feet touching the floor on the outside. The winner will receive a shot at the OCW Championship. Now…introducing the competitor who drew #1….
Smith: Who’s it going to be, Hood?
Hood: I know exactly who it is
Smith: How’s that…did you get spoilers or something? If so…do not leak those on air!
Hood: Nah…it’s always the same person who draws #1. An unlucky, unhappy fucker
Smith: Well, yea, that’s true, I suppose…
~”Inside Us All” by Creed hits. The crowd jumps to their feet with a strong ovation as ‘The Icon’ Shawn Rossdale emerges from behind the curtain. He heads down the ramp not taking any time or extra energy to pose or interact with fans. He’s on a mission. He rolls under the ropes, into the ring….he’s ready for the match~
Belvedere: From Primrose Hill, London, England…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…”The Icon” Shawn Rossdale!!
Smith: Shawn Rossdale and his catchy theme ‘Inside Us All’ by Creed gets us started!
Hood: The fuck is that song about? Is Creed insinuating that their dicks are currently inside us all?
Smith: I certainly hope not!
Belvedere: And now…the competitor who drew #2!
Hood: I think…
Smith: No more predictions from you!
~”Slow Me Down” By Devin Townsend Band hits. The crowd gives one of their loudest ovations of the evening as REBEL emerges. He, like Rossdale, walks straight to the ring with any fanfare. Rossdale leans in a corner watching the rising OCW star. Rebel steps up onto the apron and then through the ropes. He keeps a close watch on The Icon~
Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs…Rebel!!
Hood: Very rebellious of Rebel to enter this early!
Smith: I don’t think it was his choice
Hood: Ya know, being #2 sucks. You have the same fucking hill to climb as #1 but people don’t seem to give you half the credit
Smith: That is true
~The bell rings as Belvedere exits. Rebel and Rossdale lock up quickly! The crowd goes wild. Rebel backs Rossdale into a corner. He knees Rossdale in the gut and whips him across the ring. Rebel charges in behind Rossdale. Rossdale reaches the corner and stops…he grabs the ropes and leaps over the charging Rebel. He’s standing behind Rebel and hooks his waist for a German. He starts to lift Rebel…but Rebel elbows Rossdale three times in the head. Rossdale lets go and staggers back. Rebel turns around and drops Rossdale with a clothesline!~
Smith: Fast start to this match…these two competitors are ready to go!
Hood: Stupid if you ask me…I would have slid under that bottom rope and taken a seat over here…tried some commentary for most of the match, ya know?
Smith: That’s a very cowardly strategy
Hood: Does it really matter if you win?
~Rebel pulls Rossdale to his feet and says ‘let’s try this again’…he whips Rossdale into the corner…this time Rossdale hits the way Rebel intended. Rebel charges in with a splash…his head nearly hits the post he gets so much elevation. Rebel backs out with Rossdale staggering forward…Rebel lifts Rossdale onto his shoulders and drops him with a Samoan Drop! The crowd is firmly behind Rebel at this point~
Smith: One thing we didn’t know about Rebel was the apparent leg injury he suffered during the filming of Survivor. Could that have, perhaps, impacted the early part of his OCW career?
Hood: DON’T YOU DARE…TIO beat him fair and square…don’t try and excuse it via some phony made for TV injury.
Smith: I’m told it was a very serious injury that took some time to heal…we might JUST NOW be seeing a healthy Rebel.
Hood: I call bullshit on that. I think Rebel heard that the women of the Amazon were fucking smoking hot and decided he had enough of the jungle life.
~Rebel stomps on Rossdale a few times. He places his boot into Rossdale’s throat, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He lifts Rossdale up and looks toward the ropes. He rushes forward and tosses Rossdale over the top rope! Rossdale lands on the apron! Rebel tries to kick him off. While doing so “Lola Montez” by Volbeat hits! Rebel looks up and sees Jade Spritz slowly sauntering her way to the ring~
Smith: It’s Jade Spritz! OCW’s senior seductress!
Hood: I don’t think she’s going to like that fucking nickname
Smith: Just came to me
Hood: Sooo…no countdown, no buzzer?
Smith: This is a MINI Rumble, Hood…that’s what they told me backstage, anyway…when I asked.
Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!
~Rossdale capitalizes on Rebel’s momentary lapse in concentration. He kicks his leg up, into Rebel’s face! Rebel staggers back. Rossdale stands on the apron. Spritz sees and opportunity and rushes in. She grabs Rossdale’s leg and yanks back!!! The crowd gasps…Rossdale holds onto the ropes with his feet dangling. He manages to land a solid enough kick into Jade’s chest that it sends her staggering back. Rebel charges in…Rossdale whips his body forward, using the ropes, under the bottom rope and between Rebel’s legs. He runs into the ropes…Rebel turns around. Jade hops onto the apron…Rossdale dropkicks Rebel!! He falls into the ropes and bumps into Sprintz knocking her off the apron and to the floor~
Smith: Great offense by Shawn Rossdale…what started as lifesaving maneuvers quickly turned into the ole two birds, one stone tactic
Hood: Fuck…dude was almost eliminated….have to hand it to him, that was impressive. Even if he was doing it against an old woman and a guy with one leg
Smith: Oh so NOW Rebel’s injury was legit…when it fits YOUR narrative
~Rebel staggers forward…Rossdale hooks Rebel and tosses him over his head with a T-Bone Suplex!! Rossdale pops back to his feet…the crowd is getting behind him. Spritz slides into the ring…Rossdale runs into the ropes and is met with a SUPERKICK from Spritz!! Rossdale falls to the mat. Spritz drops to her knees…she grabs Rossdale by the hair and repeatedly slams the back of his head into the mat~
Smith: Jade Spritz has finally made it inside the ring and is making Rossdale pay for his actions
Hood: She definitely seems like the type of woman who would go psycho on your ass
Smith: You think?
Hood: Oh yea…that prestigious persona…the ‘elegant, sexy’ chick portrayal…it’s all a cover up for insecurity…the minute a guy drops her, she probably puts sugar in his engine
Smith: That’s terrible!
~Sprits returns to her feet. She perches herself on the middle buckle. Rossdale gets to his feet, wobbly, holding the back of his head. She leaps off with a dropkick into Rossdale’s head! Rossdale falls to the mat. Spritz pops back to her feet. She’s quickly run over, however, via a clubbing forearm from Rebel~
Smith: Ouch!
Hood: Rebel won’t put up with her shit!
Smith: It’s every man….err….every PERSON for themselves in this match!
Hood: Unless you’re Tony the Spider…then, well, I think everyone is pulling for you
Smith: Not CJ O’Donnell
Hood: True…CJ might literally KILL Tony if he sees him
~Rebel lifts Spritz up and he drills her into the mat with a scoop slam. He stomps on Jade…her body rolls near the ropes. She latches onto the bottom rope for support. Rebel throws a couple of stiff kicks into her rib cage. Suddenly, “Vagabond” by The Greenskeepers hits! The crowd jumps to their feet…former OCW Savage Champion Mack O’Connor emerges! He hustles down to the ring~
Smith: It’s Mack O’Connor…one of the favorites to win this Mini-Rumble…a former OCW Champion!
Hood: Guy looks pretty good for the beating he took last week
Smith: Maybe The Knife Man isn’t as inept as we all thought?
Hood: Yea…perhaps….but, dude, drawing #4…that blows
Smith: It’s not the best number, that’s for sure!
~O’Connor slides into the ring. Rebel leaves Spritz alone…he throws a punch at O’Connor. Mack blocks it and drills Rebel with a right hand and another and another!! The crowd is going crazy for the onslaught of right hands. Rebel staggers into a corner. Mack climbs to the second rope…he brings his right fist down into Rebel’s head as the crowd counts along~
Smith: You know he’s been seething all week after his loss to Meyhu last Monday
Hood: Fucking classic match…sucks he lost but, hey, somebody had to
Smith: Indeed…but Mack O’Connor isn’t a man who enjoys losing
Hood: I guess that’s why he wins so much
Smith: That…that would make sense
~The crowd yells “NINE!” Mack brings one last fist down…they go wild cheering “TEN!!!” Mack then head butts Rebel!! Mack jumps down and backs away…Rebel falls face first onto the canvas. Mack doesn’t have time to celebrate as a kick is thrown into his kidney from Rossdale! He turns around, leaning to the side. Rossdale kicks him in the face with a Spinning Heel Kick!! Mack falls to the mat, holding his face in pain~
Smith: A great burst of momentum that was halted by The Icon
Hood: In other words, Mr. Rossdale has just welcomed Mack O’Connor to the party!
Smith: Indeed!
~Rossdale stomps on Mack a few times. His control is short lived as Spritz spears him to the mat! Rossdale clutches his midsection. Spritz quickly transitions into a Triangle choke!! Rossdale flails his arms and kicks his legs, trying to break free. He reaches the ropes but that won’t do him any favors in this match. Spritz applies as much pressure as she can~
Smith: She’s going to choke him out!
Hood: Fucking bitch is kinky
Smith: Not like that!
Hood: Well, in what other way is she going to choke him out…ooohhh…I getcha
Smith: DEFINITELY not in that manner
~Rossdale knows he can’t win if he stays in the hold much longer. He fights to his knees, then to his feet. Rebel is on his feet as well, recovering from Mack’s onslaught. He sees Rossdale holding up. He walks over and grabs Jade’s head…in a seamless “are these guys working together?” motion…Rossdale and Rebel drop Jade with a neckbreaker/powerbomb combination! The crowd pops! Jade is knocked unconscious…she releases the hold. Rossdale grabs his throat, coughing with irritation~
Smith: For two guys who have never crossed paths they sure worked well there!
Hood: I think every man can relate to the pains caused by a spiteful woman
Smith: The way you paint Miss Spritz
Hood: I’ll never forget her debut…that dirty martini…Tatum Coe’s perfect face…what a disaster
~”The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” by Weezer hits!! The fans start to boo, slightly. “The Professor” Bradley Carrington steps out from behind the curtain. His arms are full of books. He tosses them into the crowd on his way down. One accidentally hits a large woman in the head, knocking her unconscious. Carrington smiles and says something like, “Read with Caution – The knowledge within this book could overwhelm!” He hands the last book to Larry the OCW Superfan. He walks up the steps and gets into the ring~
Smith: The newcomer of the Month for April is here and, well, he’s making sure we all know it
Hood: That book is a fascinating read
Smith: Oh, so you’ve read it?
Hood: No, but Carrington told me ALL about it. Trust me… A MUST READ
Smith: Right
~Carrington goes right after Mack. He stomps on the former OCW Savage Champion, while he’s on the ground. Mack crawls into a corner, looking for protection. Carrington follows him…until he’s kneed in the back by Rossdale! Carrington staggers into the corner. He turns around and is met with a straight hand from Rossdale. Rossdale throws another, but Carrington blocks it! Carrington punches Rossdale in the face, knocking him to the mat. Rebel throws a big boot Carrington’s wat…but Carrington ducks it, grabs the back of Rebel’s head and drops him with a neck breaker~
Smith: You give and you receive…Rebel doling out the neck breaker on Jade and now taking one from The Professor
Hood: I thought that move looked familiar
Smith: Well, it is a popular move…we’ve probably called it hundreds of times
Hood: Damn, that’s a shit load of broken necks
~Carrington poses for a moment, basking in the glory of taking both Rossdale and Rebel down. Suddenly, Mack emerges from behind. The crowd goes wild. Carrington nods saying, “I know, I know” The crowd continues to cheer, he smiles, “Please, calm down, you’re embarrassing yourselves!” Mack grabs The Professor by the hair and he tosses him over the top rope and to the outside!!! Carrington hits hard and then looks in the ring with total shock. Mack looks down and just shoots Carrington his middle finger. The crowd goes wild~
Smith: BRADLEY CARRINGTON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
Hood: Would you calm the fuck down? What a tragedy…Mack must be jealous
Smith: Jealous of what, exactly?
Hood: It’s common knowledge that Mack can’t read
Smith: Yes he can!
~Carrington is irate. He gets to his feet. Mack has his back turned. He spots Jade…he makes a move toward Jade. Carrington reaches in and grabs Mack’s foot! Mack is stuck. Jade throws a kick into Mack’s face!! Mack falls to the ring. Carrington releases Mack’s foot and seems to feel a bit of vindication. He walks by Larry the OCW Superfan and RIPS his book away. He carries it back with him up the ramp. Meanwhile, inside the ring – Jade pulls Rossdale to his feet and backs him into a corner. She throws several kicks into his rips and midsection~
Smith: Well, I guess Bradley Carrington got the last word in…in his mind, at least
Hood: Never turn your back on The Professor!
Smith: Is that some kind of sage advice?
Hood: It just make sense…I mean, think about it…when you walk into a class room all desks face TOWARD the front of the room. Never turn your back on The Professor, Smith…Never.
~Jade pulls Rossdale out of the corner and she drops him with a DDT. She returns to her feet…she’s the only one standing. She takes some satisfaction in that. Suddenly…soft, serene music begins to play throughout the arena. It’s like Elevator music…only more peaceful. Like the type of music you’d hear playing near a babbling brook or a breezy meadow. Jade looks around, confused~
Smith: This is interesting…very relaxing music, though
Hood: Man…tell me about it. I could lean back and catch a couple of Z’s!
Smith: Please don’t
Hood: *yawn* Such peaceful music…
~MOTHER FUCKING INTENSITY!!!! The words DESTROY the peaceful music as “Top of the World” by Van Halen fires up!! Jade jumps in the air from shock. The fans nearly have a heart attack. IGGY FUCKING HARDY barrels through a brick wall in front of the entrance. He sprints toward the ring. He leaps from the bottom of the ramp, jumping over the top rope and doing a quasi-somersault on the mat. He pops back to his feet and flexes for the crowd who are all chanting “IGGY!”~
Smith: Geez!
Hood: Iggy fucking Hardy!
Smith: He is considered one of the favorites…somehow
Hood: He’s already intense! These fuckers are dead
~Iggy’s head slowly turns…it’s almost like an Exorcist turn. His wild eyes spot Jade. Jade returns his look and says, in a very Jade-like manner, “No thanks.” She slides out of the ring, under the bottom rope. Iggy rushes toward the ropes…he’s about to leap over the top rope, with an aerial attack on Jade but the fans yell “No, Iggy NO!!!” He stops. He begins to calm down. He wipes his forehead…his intensity begins to fade. “Thanks guys!” he gives the fans a thumbs up. Arms wrap Iggy around the waist…Rebel hoists Iggy up and tosses him halfway across the ring with a Release German Suplex!!~
Smith: Iggy nearly eliminated himself!
Hood: We also saw another neck breaker!
Smith: Huh?
Hood: That neck turn….he was like an inch away from a neck snap!
Smith: That’s not the type of neck breaker I was referencing
~Rebel turns around to go after Iggy but is met with a right hand from Mack. Rebel staggers into a corner. Rossdale gets to his feet. Mack spots him and drills him with a right hand. Mack then rotates…right hand to Rossdale, right hand to Rebel…the fans go wild with Mack’s flurry of punches. He finally drops Rossdale with a right hand. He then pummels Rebel with a right…Rebel ALMOST goes over the top. Instead, he’s hanging over the top rope. Mack grabs his legs and tries to lift him over~
Smith: Mack O’Connor is a brawler…simply put, the man loves to throw punches
Hood: I heard a rumor that he had the bones in his hands replaced with Titanium
Smith: As hard a punch as that man packs I have a hard time believing that
Hood: It was highly controversial…some doctor named Stryker performed it
Smith: Okay, now I know you’re yanking my chain!
Hood: Gross
~Jade slides into the ring. She sees Mack working on Rebel. She hurries over and starts to help Mack. Together, they’ve almost got the tall competitor over the top. “Smart Went Crazy” begins to play! The fans go wild! Bob Grenier, the former OCW Champion, rushes to the ring. He goes after Jade. He turns her around and kicks her in the gut. He then lifts her up and drops her to the mat with a Gut Wrench Suplex! He twirls Mack around and raises his right hand…Mack looks at it…Grenier then SPITS in Mack’s face! Mack staggers into the corner. Rebel tips over and lands on the apron. Grenier leans in and head butts Mack in the shoulder~
Smith: This could be a big night for Grenier…if he’s able to outlast everyone and win…he’s right back in the OCW Title picture
Hood: That would be crazy…I know one thing, the man knows how to spit
Smith: Is this going to devolve into some type of Jade joke?
Hood: Not originally but now…maybe
~Bob stands on the second rope. He balls up his fist and he begins to punch away on Mack’s bald dome. The crowd counts along. Behind him we see Rossdale emerge. He spots Grenier and instantly recognizes a major threat. He runs in and shoves Bob from behind! Bob tumbles over the top rope and lands harshly on the outside!! The crowd boos as Bob grabs his back in pain~
Smith: Bob Grenier has been eliminated!
Hood: Shit, that didn’t last long at all…I couldn’t even get a Jade Spritz joke worked up
Smith: Shawn Rossdale saw an opportunity…as much as I hate it...it was smart
Hood: Fucking guy could win it…all the way from #1!
Smith: It’s been known to happen…far more often than you’d think, really
Hood: Yea, it’s almost a pro wrestling cliché
~Rossdale, feeling lucky…lifts Mack’s legs up, over the top rope…Mack grabs onto the ropes as Rossdale tries to leverage his feet into the air. Rebel rolls back into the ring. He is slow to his feet. Jade returns to her feet. She spots Rebel and sprints in…Rebel ducks!! He lifts Spritz up and over the top rope!! Jade lands on the apron, luckily. Rebel falls to the mat with his back against the ropes….in doing so, his leg brushes against Iggy’s mullet~
Smith: Jade Spritz narrowly averted elimination
Hood: Yea and Mack is hanging on for DEAR life
Smith: Yes, yes he is
Hood: You think someone has actually written Life a letter…”Dear Life, why did you fuck me over so bad?”
Smith: I’d hope not
Hood: Yea, maybe the cereal though…”Dear Life, why are you so fucking bland”
~Iggy’s body begins to shake. Rebel is seated against the ropes. Jade is rising to her feet directly behind him, on the apron. Rebel spots Iggy’s gyrations. His eyes widen. He says, “Oh shit.” Iggy KIPS up!!! He yells “MULLET MOTHER FUCKER!!” Rebel rolls out of the way…Iggy turns to Jade. He sprints in and SHOVES Jade off the apron. She flies through the air, slamming into the barricade!! Estimates say she may have reached sixty miles per hour. Fans around her all fall backwards, spilling their drinks. The crowd goes wild chanting “IGGY!” Iggy runs around the ring, pumping his fist and shaking his head like a maniac~
Smith: Jade Spritz has been eliminated courtesy of an INTENSE Iggy Hardy!
Hood: Fuck...I didn’t know Jade Spritz could fly that fast
Smith: It was quite the sight
Hood: The rest of these guys are fucked now that Iggy is all intense…again
~Iggy grabs Rossdale…he throws him across the ring. Rossdale’s body slams into the mat and slides up against the bottom turnbuckle. Iggy lifts Mack over his head and he tosses him like ten feet in the air, catching him on the way down and drilling him into the mat with a Powerslam!!! Iggy then grabs Rebel’s leg as he tries to crawl away…he yanks him into the ring…spins him around via that one leg and then tosses him at the ropes…Rebel flies through the middle and top rope landing roughly on the outside!!! The crowd is frenzied with “IGGY!” chants!! He sprints around the ring…he does a few front flips, landing on his feet~
Smith: Iggy Hardy just laid waste to all the active participants!
Hood: This is fucking unbelievable!
Smith: I fear for the life of whoever is slated to come out next…there’s nothing that could derail Iggy
Hood: Not in this state
~HAHAHAHAHAHA bashes the OCW Arena’s speakers. The crowd goes wild as “Jump” by Van Halen hits. TONY THE SPIDER emerges! His shades are on, his fanny pack is FULL FORCE. He struts down to the ring. Iggy slows down. Iggy stares at the man. Tony awkwardly climbs onto the apron and he stumbles through the ropes. He steps up to Iggy…the two men have a stare down. The crowd is going wild “Iggy!” “Tony!” dueling chants~
Smith: What is wrong with our fans? This man is winless in OCW! He’s not even an athlete
Hood: He’s Tony the Spider, Smith! A future star!
Smith: He’s like FIFTY, Hood! He doesn’t have much of a future left
Hood: Oh, so now you’re going to wish death on ole Tony
~Iggy stands over Tony like a giant animal curious inspecting the much smaller prey. Tony is none the wiser. He’s just happy to be there. He starts laughing. Iggy runs his hand through Tony’s hair and feels Tony’s mullet. Iggy then reaches back and touches his mullet. Tony laughs harder. Iggy nods. He reaches back…Tony reaches back and they HIGH FIVE!~
Hood: MULLETS UNITE
Smith: I can’t take much more of this…this is just silly
Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!
~Rossdale gets to his feet. Tony laughs at him. Iggy goes after Rossdale…he shoves him into a corner. Iggy restrains Rossdale from moving. Tony charges in and gives Rossdale a very flabby splash! It doesn’t hurt Rossdale all that much. Iggy then slugs Rossdale in the face with a right hand which seems to knock him unconscious. Tony turns and laughs at Mack. Iggy heads after O’Connor. He tosses Mack into a corner and pins him against the buckles…like he did Rossdale. Tony runs in, he stumbles, nearly falls…but he jumps, getting 3 full inches of the mat…he lands on top of Mack with another flabby splash!! Mack looks around like “What the fuck? Was that supposed to hurt?” Iggy SLUGS Mack in the face with a right hand, knocking the former OCW Champion to his knees~
Smith: Unique teamwork on display here
Hood: Could we see the formation of a new team?
Smith: Negative…I’m told OCW is already in talks with Timmy Daddy Long Legs…or whatever…8 Legged Freaks are coming to OCW
Hood: EVEN BETTER
~Rebel rolls back into the ring…he’s unaware of what’s been going on. Iggy grabs him by the hair and yanks him to his feet. He bullies him into a corner and pins him back…Tony runs in and delivers his third flabby splash!!! Iggy slugs Rebel! Rebel falls to the mat. Tony bends over at the knees, he’s exhausted. Iggy checks on Tony the Spider. “Indestructible” by Disturbed hits! The fans get on their feet and they cheer as Robbie Rayder sprints toward the ring~
Smith: Finally…someone who takes this stuff seriously
Hood: Maybe a little too seriously
Smith: He’s showing a burst of energy sprinting down to the ring
Hood: Yea, maybe a little too much energy
Smith: It’s Robbie Rayder, everyone!
Hood: Yea, maybe a little too Robbie Rayder
Smith: Shut up
~Rayder slides into the ring. Iggy goes after him…Rayder ducks a clothesline. He sprints and throws a kick at Tony’s head. He nails it!! Tony flies into the ropes, he falls through the middle and bottom ropes, landing roughly on the outside. Rayder is back to his feet. He sprints for the ropes….Iggy faces Rayder…Rayder leaps into the air and connects with a Sick Kick!!! Iggy falls to the mat, holding his face in pain~
Smith: What a sequence from Robbie Rayder!
Hood: I say it every week that mighty mouse mother fucker comes out…he’s quick
Smith: He’s also determined…the man is close to breaking through…perhaps tonight is the night!
Hood: I doubt it…people that small never win these things
~Tony the Spider re-emerges…he slides in. He runs up behind Rayder who has positioned Iggy into a corner. Rayder throws a kick at Iggy’s chest. Iggy starts to become INTENSE. Rayder backs up…unsure of what to do. Tony sneaks in and kicks Rayder in the crotch, from behind!! Rayder doubles over and falls to the mat. Iggy pops to his feet. He walks up to Tony and points at him…the crowd yells out “YOU!” Tony laughs. The two run around the ring and pump their arms in the air. The crowd goes wild with another “Tony!” “Iggy!” dueling chant taking place~
Smith: As much as I dislike Tony the Spider and what he represents…this IS a fun moment
Hood: I guess
Smith: There’s nothing that could kill the joy in this atmosphere…these fans are loving it…everyone is happy…
Hood: True…people are in good moods
Smith: Nothing could sour this mood…ruin these people’s good times…there’s not gonna be any rain on this parade!
~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The crowd’s mood suddenly turns. They boo heavily. CJ O’Donnell heads down to the ring with his OCW Tag Title draped over his shoulder. He slides into the ring with the belt. Iggy goes after him…CJ slams the belt into Iggy’s gut! He then uppercuts Iggy’s face with it!! Iggy falls to the mat, hard! Tony the Spider laughs at CJ. CJ grows irate “You laughing at ME?!” He runs Tony over with the belt!! Tony falls to the mat and is knocked out. The crowd boos and chants “FUCK YOU, CJ!”~
Smith: Well, the fun is over
Hood: That’s fine because CJ is out here to get shit done!
Smith: He’s all business tonight…he sees and understands the opportunity in front of him
Hood: Yep, this is a chance to jump ahead of the crowded pack of OCW wrestlers…potentially a once in a career opportunity
Smith: Yep it took PerZag 3 years to win the OCW Title
Hood: Shit, Maurako’s been around for nearly 20 years and never won one
Smith: Indeed
~CJ quickly locates Rayder. Rayder pops to his feet, sensing CJ stalking him. He throws a kick at CJ…CJ ducks it…Rayder throws a leg sweep….CJ jumps it. Rayder spins and goes for a discus elbow but CJ decks him with the belt!!! Rayder’s body goes stiff…then limp. He falls to the mat. CJ tosses his tag belt out of the ring and falls to his knees…he pummels Rayder with lefts and rights…CJ is furious~
Smith: CJ remembers last week
Hood: I’d fucking hope so…I mean, the guy doesn’t have Alzheimer’s or anything, right?
Smith: Well, you know what I mean…Rayder prevented CJ from finishing his attack on Chaotic
Hood: Small men with big ideas usually get crushed
~Rayder’s busted open. It isn’t gaping or anything, but enough to produce a notable amount of blood. CJ pulls Rayder to his feet and yells at him. He’s talking trash. He clenches Rayder’s head and delivers several knee strikes. We see Rayder’s blood staining the knees of O’Donnell. Finally, O’Donnell heads to the ropes and he tosses Rayder over them. Rayder lands roughly, appearing to be slightly injured from CJ’s assault. The fans boo~
Smith: Robbie Rayder has been eliminated…such a shame.
Hood: CJ zeroed right in on Rayder
Smith: Indeed he did…Rayder never stood a chance. I’d like to see these two in a one on one setting
Hood: What, like a candlelit dinner? Fucking perv
Smith: NO! A wrestling match you imbecile
~CJ talks shit to Rayder. Mack emerges from behind and lifts CJ’s legs up…he flips over the top but lands on the apron!! The crowd nearly lost their minds. Mack tries to kick CJ off the apron and to the floor, but he hands on to the bottom rope. His feet dangle over the apron. Rossdale gets to his feet…he comes over to help. Mack feels someone behind him…he turns around and drills Rossdale with a punch~
Smith: Mack seems a little jumpy
Hood: Can you blame him? He’s been getting his ass kicked by The Aptitude all year long!
Smith: Mack has had more success against The Aptitude than anybody else in this company
Hood: For whatever that’s fucking worth
~With Mack’s attention diverted…CJ swings his legs under the ropes and he takes out Mack’s base! Mack falls back onto the mat. CJ climbs to his feet on the apron and takes a chance. He hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a splash onto Mack!! CJ then punches Mack in the head viciously, trying to injure the former Savage Champion~
Smith: Some real bad blood between these two
Hood: AIDS infected blood
Smith: Uhh, okay
Hood: Blood doesn’t get much worse than that
~CJ relents. He stands. Mack sits up, woozy. CJ runs in and kicks Mack in the face with a loud SMACK. Mack’s back slams into the mat. “Numb” by Gary Clark Jr fires up. The fans murmur with intrigue as Damian K’…the Oh Shit Contract holder and Battle Royal Tables Match winner from Like There’s No Tomorrow heads to the ring. CJ turns and watches…he seems a bit uneasy with what’s headed his way~
Smith: Uh oh…Damian K’…one of the fiercest competitors in OCW is on his way to the ring
Hood: He did lose to Mark Storm last week
Smith: Yea but when Mark Storm is on, he can beat anybody
Hood: EF-5 Mother fucker
Smith: Indeed
~K’ steps onto the apron. CJ starts to move toward him…but hesitates. K’ enters into the ring. He goes after CJ…CJ responds and the two men brawl in the center of the ring. The crowd cheers the interaction between the two talented wrestlers. K’ gains the upper hand. He has CJ reeling against the ropes…he whips CJ off the ropes…CJ tries to reverse it…K’ does a double reverse but turns it into the Death Dealer!! He turns CJ inside out!!! CJ lands on the mat, unconscious…the crowd goes wild~
Smith: Death Dealer!! Nobody gets up from that, Hood!
Hood: Fuckin hell…CJ is in deep shit
Smith: In so many words, yes
Hood: Damnit…where is Mark Storm when you REALLY need him, huh?
Smith: Back home in Brooklyn?
Hood: Up in the fucking clouds – that’s where!
~Damian doesn’t have much time to celebrate as a big boot comes out of nowhere drilling him in the back of the head. He stumbles into a corner. He turns around and sees Rebel. Rebel smashes a few elbows into Damian’s head, keeping him trapped. Rebel then takes a few steps back…Damian staggers out, Rebel picks him up and drops him into the mat with a Spinebuster! Rebel is the lone man standing at this point with the other competitors laid out~
Smith: He may have been the second competitor in this match but Rebel is looking strong!
Hood: I don’t know about any of these guys….but while Iggy is, you know, not intense…I’d try and get him over the top rope
Smith: Probably not the worst idea
Hood: Not the worst? I’d say it’s the GREATEST
~Rebel spots Rossdale…he pulls him to his feet and tosses him over the top rope. Rossdale lands on the apron, hanging on for continued life. Rebel plants his foot into Rossdale’s shoulders, trying to force him off the apron. Amazingly, K’ is already back to his feet. He’s wounded but not incapacitated. He stalks up behind Rebel. The fans yell and point…Rebel turns around…K’ throws a wild clothesline…Rebel dodges it, lifts Damian up and plants him with an atomic drop! Rossdale slides back into the ring. He gets to his feet…Rebel turns around and eats a Codebreaker from Rossdale!! Rebel falls to the mat as Rossdale returns to his feet and backs into a corner, taking a breather~
Smith: The first two entrants giving a great effort here tonight
Hood: Don’t forget, Mack was #4
Smith: I haven’t forgotten
Hood: And don’t forget Tony the Spider…NEVER forget Tony the Spider
Smith: If only I could
~”Respect” by CFO$ hits!! The crowd goes into a “LUCHA! LUCHA!” chant as CHAOTIC hops out from behind the curtain. He spits a few raps. We can’t tell what’s he rapping about because of his mask…but his arms are gesticulating in a rapping manner. He finishes his rap and sprints towards the ring. He slides in under the bottom rope and goes after Rossdale! He spears Rossdale in the corner. He does a backflip, lands on his feet and nails Rossdale in the head with a spinning kick!! Rossdale falls through the top and middle rope…he lands on the apron. Chaotic throws his arms in the air feeding the ‘LUCHA!” chant~
Smith: Chaotic is looking good!
Hood: Man those were some SICK rhymes he threw down before hitting the ring
Smith: Really? How could you tell?
Hood: Because it’s Chaotic…the man is a rapping ICON…no offense to Rossdale
~Chaotic goes after Rebel…he pulls the big man to his feet. He kicks Rebel in the midsection a few times. Rebel doubles over in pain. Chaotic talks some shit through his mask. He then leaps up, wraps his legs around Rebel’s head and tosses him across the ring with a hurricanrana!!! Rebel slides out, under the bottom rope, to the outside. Chaotic sprints for the corner~
Smith: Chaotic is insane…he nearly KILLED himself TWICE on Survivor with that Shooting Star Press of his
Hood: Finisher of the Month, Smith
Smith: I think he just needs to calm down, harness some of that energy
Hood: Hey, it works for Iggy
Smith: Sad, but true
~Chaotic hops to the top of the corner. He looks down at Rebel and finds his balance~
Smith: What the…what are you doing, Chaotic?!
Hood: Dude is NUTS
~Chaotic LEAPS off with a Shooting Star Press!!! The crowd goes wild!! He drops Rebel with it! Unfortunately, he hits the floor in the process, eliminating himself. The fans don’t care…he leaps to his feet and pumps his arms in the air. “LUCHA” chants fill the arena. He tries to get back into the ring by Puff and Gruff stop him. He flashes gang symbols and starts cutting some ill rhymes on them. Puff smiles and asks for an autograph. Gruff gets angry, “DON’T BE TALKIN BOUT MY MAMA, BOY!” Chaotic shrugs and throws his arms into the air…he heads up the ramp way and exits the ringside area~
Smith: Insanity…this is just…it’s crazy, right?
Hood: I love it! Chaotic is the man!
Smith: I will give him this…that Shooting Star Press might be the most OVER move in the company…for all the wrong reasons.
Hood: Over is over, Smith
Smith: I suppose
~An injured Rebel rolls into the ring. He gets to his feet, leaning against the ropes. Damian K’ gets to his feet…he charges in and DRILLS Rebel with a clothesline!! Rebel goes over the top rope and spills onto the floor. The fans boo as K’ looks down at Rebel with satisfaction~
Smith: NO!! Starting at #2 Rebel is finally eliminated
Hood: Good effort…guy is talented
Smith: Indeed he just needs to stay focused
Hood: Yea, but in his defense, nobody would have expected a shooting star press in that situation
Smith: True
~K’ grabs Mack O’Connor…he knees Mack in the chest. Mack backs up and doubles over. He’s against the ropes. K’ measures him up for a lariat…as he does, the back of his heel touches Iggy. Iggy’s eyes FLARE OPEN. His lips peel back and his teeth slide open…he yells out “MY FUCKING DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!!” He jumps to his feet. K’ turns around to find an INTENSE IGGY!! He throws a lariat at Iggy…Iggy blocks it…he lifts Damian over his head and tosses him over the top rope and to the floor with a press slam!!! Damian hits hard as the fans are in shock. Iggy finds Tony the Spider…he picks him up and drapes him over his shoulder…Iggy sprints around the ring with Tony over his shoulder, like a towel~
Smith: One of the favorites in the match Damian K’ has been eliminated!
Hood: Fucking Iggy finally notched one against K’!
Smith: Indeed…Damian has been Iggy’s nemesis ever since joining OCW but tonight…tonight Iggy got INTENSE on Damian
Hood: Damn sure did…and now he’s celebrating with a deceased? Tony the Spider.
~K’ gets to his feet on the outside. It’s clear Iggy’s hysteria took him by surprise. He observes Iggy running around for a moment…he nods his head and leaves. It’s clear these two will meet again. K’ heads up the ramp and exits through the curtain. As he does “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” by Bowling for Soup blasts throughout the arena and Annie Alvarez emerges. Plethora the PERILOUS is behind her. She seems somewhat annoyed by his presence. She rushes down the ramp and slides into the ring where she comes face to face with Iggy. Plethora watches from ringside…he motions with his hands for her to GET AWAY~
Smith: I’m not sure Annie knows what she’s dealing with
Hood: Dude, did you know that if you accidentally leave out the ‘m’ in your name you become Sith?
Smith: So?
Hood: Are you a dark lord?
Smith: I am not
Hood: Hmm, I’m not sure…you remove the second letter in my name and I just become half a Hodor.
~Iggy drops Tony…he suffers a rough landing. Iggy reaches out and calmly squeezes Annie’s left breast. Annie’s mouth drops. She reaches back and slaps the SHIT out of Iggy. Behind her, we see CJ O’Donnell reaching his feet. Iggy becomes INTENSE!! He charges at Annie…she ducks…CJ flies into view with IRISH KNOWLEDGE!! He wipes Iggy Hardy out! The fans cheer in the impressive move before booing the man who pulled it off~
Smith: Well as much as I despise CJ and The Aptitude…that’s what Iggy gets for inappropriately touching a woman
Hood: Yea man if this were the NFL he would have fallen all the way to pick #11.
Smith: Indeed
~CJ points down at Tony and looks at Annie. “Let’s get this piece of trash OUT of our ring.” Annie warily agrees. They pull Tony’s lifeless body from the mat. They drag him toward the ropes with his feet dragging along the canvas. He just starts LAUGHING. They stop. CJ lifts a knee into Tony’s face, he shuts up. CJ and Annie lift Tony up, preparing to toss him over the top rope. Mack O’Connor pulls Tony back in for some reason. CJ turns around and is met with a straight right hand from Mack!! CJ staggers into a corner…Mack punches away on his rival. Annie keeps her distance. She spots Rossdale resting in a corner. She charges in and drills two knees into his face~
Smith: We’ve got three wrestlers left, Hood
Hood: Oh damn…who are they?
Smith: You’re terrible at your job. They are OCW Hall of Famer Curt Canon…
Hood: Yes!
Smith: OCW newcomer Josie Barnes
Hood: HOT
Smith: And OCW Savage Champion Matt Meyhu
Hood: YUSSSS
Smith: Not, umm, in that particular order
~Plethora points at CJ. Annie nods and rushes over to aid Mack in the punishment of OCW’s most hated wrestler. Annie pushes Mack out of the way. He gives her some space, half surprised half intrigued. Annie slams some short forearms into CJ’s face. She throws a few kicks into his midsection. She then places both feet into his stomach, falls back and tosses CJ toward the middle of the ring with a Monkey Flip. She turns to Mack…Mack delivers a straight left jab to her chin, knocking Annie to the mat. Plethora throws his arms in the air as the fans boo~
Smith: That was rude
Hood: Every person for themselves, Smith. If she doesn’t like it she should go to the salon and get her nails done
Smith: Wow…how sexist of you
Hood: I’m sorry, I forgot some men get their nails done as well
Smith: You’re darn straight we do!
~A loud SCREAM fills the arena…it’s a monkey scream. Suddenly, Curt Canon leaps from behind the curtain. The crowd goes wild!! Canon-mania is running wild!! He hops up and down and waves his arms in the air, encouraging the cheers. He points at the ring…the crowd chants “HELL FUCKING YES, BITCH!” He leans back and says, “Okay, geez.” He rushes down the ramp and hops onto the apron. Mack spots the Hall of Famer and waves him inside the ring…Canon hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a flying forearm…Mack ducks…Canon lands on his feet and runs into the rope…Mack turns around and is drilled with a standard flying forearm!!! Mack falls to the mat, holding his forehead in pain~
Smith: That leaves Meyhu and Josie
Hood: Sittin in a tree
Smith: No, that would be Checkers
Hood: Kay Eye Ess Ess Eye En Gee!
Smith: Oh, I get it…how…mature
~The ring is pretty full with bodies. Canon finds Tony the Spider. He helps Tony up and backs him into a corner. He slaps Tony in the face a few times…Tony chuckles…he laughs…he then ERUPTS with riotous guffawing!! The crowd goes wild. Canon finds Iggy and politely taps him on the shoulder…Iggy is about to get intense until he spots Canon. He calms down…he stands and extends his hand “Nice to meet you, sir” he states. Canon helps a dazed, wobbly Iggy into the corner with Tony…they strategize~
Smith: The three most…umm, unique stars remaining in this match appear to be teaming up
Hood: With Annie, Mack, CJ, and Rossdale in there…they are gonna need all the intensity they can get. Tony won’t be much help
Smith: Probably not
Hood: Iggy could swing him like a club…that might work
~Iggy grabs Tony by the legs. Rossdale is leaning in a corner…Iggy swings Tony around like a doll and he flings Tony at Rossdale!! Tony slams into Rossdale’s midsection! The momentum sends Tony the Spider out of the ring, through the top and middle ropes. Mack shakes his head at the lunacy. He goes after Iggy, unafraid of his intensity. As he does, Canon dropkicks his legs. Mack stumbles into Iggy’s grip…Iggy hooks Mack and lifts him into the air with a suplex…he holds Mack in the air for nearly ten seconds before dropping Mack to the mat with a Brainbuster!! Instinctively, Mack sits up before falling back to the mat~
Smith: Wow, a wrestling move from Mr. Pectacular!
Hood: Don’t shortchange Iggy
Smith: Trust me, I won’t
Hood: Good…I saw somebody at McDonalds give him six bucks back instead of seven…you don’t want to know what happened.
Smith: You’re right, I don’t
Hood: Let’s just say that employee became Iggy’s hand puppet
Smith: I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW
~Iggy and Canon seem to be working well together. CJ is up…he staggers, wobbles. Canon looks at Iggy and nods…he sprints in. CJ suddenly snaps out of his ‘daze’ and he superkicks Canon right in the face!! Canon falls to the mat. Iggy charges…and bear hugs CJ…he barrels CJ into the corner…the ring nearly shifts from the Iggy. Iggy rams his upper body into CJ with him pinned into the corner…it’s weird looking but, we guess effective~
Smith: Innovative offense from Iggy Hardy
Hood: He calls that the Hump them up!
Smith: No he doesn’t
Hood: He should
~Iggy finishes his strange gyrations and he lifts CJ onto the top buckle. CJ looks around nervously…he grabs onto the ropes for leverage. Iggy SHOVES CJ…CJ tips over, but wraps his legs around the bar between the top buckle and the post. He’s hanging upside down. Iggy climbs to the second buckle and tries to pull CJ’s legs apart. "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West blasts through the arena. The fans stand with an ‘oh shit’ look on their faces. The Marvel appears. He’s beltless…you know, titleless…STRAPLESS as some would say. He rushes down to the ring. He slides in and grabs Iggy by the back of his mullet. He pulls back and rips Iggy off the second buckle and slams him to the mat!! Iggy grabs the back of his head in pain. CJ falls to the apron and slides in. He gets to his feet and regroups with Meyhu~
Smith: It’s almost unfair…having a fresh Meyhu this late teaming up with CJ
Hood: It’s totally fair…I don’t know what you’re talking about. CJ had to survive to reach this point.
Smith: Yea but Meyhu being second to last? Are we SURE that wasn’t by design?
Hood: Nah, if it were by design he would have been THIRD from last.
Smith: I guess
~"The Fighter" by In This Moment plays as the final contestant, Josie Barnes, rushes to the ring. The Aptitude watches her head to the ring. CJ turns to Meyhu and nods as if to say, “She’s with us, it’s good.” Barnes slides into the ring. CJ instantly pulls her into their huddle. Annie joins them, giving the group four. Aptitude plus two chicks. Canon spots the gathering…Rossdale spots it as well. They look at one another. They gather…Tony the Spider starts to laugh. He rolls into the ring. They pull him in as well. Finally, Mack gets to his feet, woozy. He looks at Tony the Spider and rolls his eyes…but he stands next to him. Anything but The Aptitude. Canon points at Iggy…who is sound asleep on the mat. Mack decides it’s better if they left him alone. Iggy is laying near the ropes, out of the way~
Smith: We’ve got a standoff…four on four…with a sedate Iggy Hardy getting some rest
Hood: Smart move not fucking with that guy…he could throw them all out of the ring with one swoop of his intense arm.
Smith: Normally I’d say that’s crazy but…Iggy is far from normal
Hood: He takes intensity to ANOTHER level. SUPER INTENSITY
~The four rush at one another. Meyhu and Mack trade punches. CJ and Canon go punch for punch. Annie and Rossdale do battle. Josie rushes up to Tony the Spider…he laughs at her. She stops and hesitates. She looks over at Canon and CJ. CJ has Canon against the ropes…he’s pummeling Canon with lefts and rights. Canon’s just about ready to go over. A smile crosses Josie’s face~
Smith: All-out war! Four on four! This is tremendous!
Hood: The hell is Barnes doing? Is she checking out her adopted brother’s ass?
Smith: I certainly hope not!
Hood: She’s got something on her mind