Massacre201715

OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! Monday, May 1st 2017
From The OCW Arena in Key West, Florida

~The OCW logo flashes onto the screen. It fades out. We cut directly into the OCW Arena. The fans are HOTTER than Annie Alvarez in BOOTY SHORTS. We pan through the psychotic people, taking a look at their signs. “LET’S GET DISTINGUISHED” “NO, FUCK THAT, LET’S GET INTENSE!” “TOKYO KNIVES ARE GOING TO CARVE UP THE OCW TAG DIVISION” “THE ICON IS AN ICON” this person is so stupid he forgets to breathe and passes out. “MACK O’CONNOR HAS NO LIVER” “MY BARREN WIFE GOT PREGNANT AFTER WATCHING MEHYU’S PERFORMANCE LAST WEEK.” The people around this man pat him on the back and hand him complimentary cigars. “I KNOW WHAT’S IN TONY’S FANNY PACK” “CURT CANON HAS DEDICATED TONIGHT’S MATCH TO CHECKERS DECEASED RELATIVES!” and, we find two final signs “TIO OWNS MJ BELL” “MJ BELL CONTROLS HER OWN FATE.” We cut to the announcers~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE

Hood: Whoa, geez, calm down. I just woke up from a fucking nap

Smith: Sorry but I’ve been guzzling coffee all day looking forward to tonight’s event…it’s gonna be LIT

Hood: Easy, JOCK….we don’t want you getting arrested for whatever the hell that weirdo got busted for on Survivor.

Smith: Good point. Well, folks…tonight is a strange night. We are bringing a grand total of THREE matches to you this evening…

Hood: Two and a half

Smith: Huh?

Hood: Two and a fucking half…it’s Deluxxx, man. They don’t really count.

Smith: Right…well, I’m sticking with three. We’re bringing to you an abbreviated card…but, if you think that’s being shortchanged…you couldn’t be more wrong. We’ve got a mini rumble to determine a number one contender to the now VACANT OCW Title…

Hood: CJ or Meyhu will win that

Smith: That remains to be seen…and we’ve got a match that’s taken three years to put together. A storyline so deep in drama and emotion that I don’t think any match could do it justice.

Hood: Wow, you really like your soap operas, don’t you?

Smith: The story between The Incredible One and MJ Bell reaches an impasse tonight. No longer can they co-exist in this company without friction…they must do battle.

Hood: About fucking time…like watching a porno with ten minutes of dialogue. JUST GET TO IT

Smith: And, as if that weren’t enough…as if the amazing story between these two weren’t enough…the Paradigm Title is at stake AS WELL AS a shot at the vacant OCW Title.

Hood: Which means we could see an all Aptitude OCW Title match!

Smith: Let’s hope that doesn’t happen for the sake of this legendary company

Hood: I’m fucking PUMPED

Smith: Alright…before we get started…let’s cut to a hype video for a signing who is set to make his debut next week…

~The scene switches to a highlight package of the 5'9" 199 pound ring-veteran - "Grade A" PKA - the Ultraviolent Perfectionist - performing various of his trademark moves in rapid-fire shots~

Forearm Strike...

Spinning Wheel Kick...

Hurricanrana...

Cartwheel into Somersault Plancha...

Running corner dropkick...

Cross-Arm Brainbuster...

Flipping DDT...

"1. 2. 3."

"P. K. A."

"Coming Soon"

~Fade back to the announcers~

Smith: PKA will debut next week...I've heard great things about this veteran

Hood: No doubt...we don't sign scrubs...or, well, MANY scrubs

Smith: Indeed...it will be interesting to see what PKA brings to the ring next week on Massacre. But, speaking of debuts...we've got a major debut scheduled next

Hood: Another APTITUDE MEMBER?

Smith: NO! Tokyo Knives are set to make their in ring debut as a team here in OCW...so, let's head down to ringside!

Tokyo Knives (0-0) vs. Deluxxx (0-1)

~We see John E Depth and Shootah in the ring. Depth is trying to keep Shootah in their corner. He says something like, “Don’t do that, it’s embarrassing!” Shootah argues back. Depth finally throws his hands in the air as Shootah approaches Belvedere~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…the following is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California…at a total combined weight of 410lbs…Deluxxx!!!

~Belvedere looks at Shootah. Shootah hands Belvedere a sheet of paper. We over hear Belvedere asking, “A doctor’s note?” in his regal, perfect voice. Belvedere looks outside the ring. An OCW official shakes his head, ‘no’. Belvedere says, “Sorry, Shootah.” Shootah sulks back into the corner~

~Arch Enemy's 'We Will Rise' blares through the speakers, as Jacqui M appears on the platform, devil horns already in the air. As she begins to walk down the entrance way, the blonde allows herself a moment to headbang to her entrance tune, before making her way down to the ring. She enters it without much of a fuss, sheds her leather jacket, and waits for the bell to ring.~

Belvedere: Introducing their opponents…first, from Tokyo, Japan…standing 5’9 and weighing in at 130lbs…Jacqui Monroe!

~The very second the opening chords to "Ride On Shooting Star (FLCL Ending Extended)" by The Pillows strikes, the crowd is already on their feet for Kenshin Takamura as he emerges from the entrance tunnel. With a confident smirk on his face, The Ace of Aces raises his index finger up to the sky, gaining him a thunderous pop as the audience also mirrors him in the stands. This brings a grin to his face before he continues down the entrance ramp, slapping a few hands on his way to the ring. After jogging up the stairs, he crosses the apron and raises an index finger toward the crowd who, once again, mirror him as they cheer him on. Cameras flash like strobe lights as he turns and vaults himself over the ropes. He crosses to the far turnbuckle, pulls himself up, and, once more, raises his index finger toward the crowd, and, you guessed it, they mirror him again and rabidly take pictures. He looks around at the audience with a smile and a nod before backflipping off the top rope, displaying his impressive athletic ability despite his age. As he takes his corner, Takamura stretches out while awaiting the starting bell~

Belvedere: And…making his RETURN to OCW…from Tokyo, Kantō, Japan…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 228lbs….he is a former OCW Internet Champion…Kenshin Takamura!!!

~The crowd goes wild. Kenshin and Jacqui stand side by side in their corner~

Belvedere: Together…they make up the team of TOKYO KNIVES!

~The crowd chants’ KNIVES! KNIVES!’ The Knife Man is probably in love with this moment. Kenshin and Jacqui discuss their strategy. Depth rolls his eyes and tells Shootah to just stand on the apron. The bell rings~

Smith: A nice solo introduction for both members of Tokyo Knives…we all remember Kenshin Takamura from 2014…one of the best competitors we had at that time

Hood: Yep, dude is legit

Smith: This time he shows up with company in the form of Jacqui Monroe…a tough talking, hold nothing back competitor.

Hood: I’m told she’s the ALPHA BITCH

Smith: Wow, you did your homework

Hood: Hey, when it comes to crazy women, I always dig deep

Smith: Gross

~Monroe starts the match out for Tokyo Knives. Depth meets her in the middle of the ring. He looks Mornoe up and down and smiles…he nods, approving of her body. He mimes taking pictures of her. He points and says, “You’d be a great porn star…slutty look really suits you.” Monroe kind of smiles…she lunges forward and drills Depth in the face with a forearm!! Depth staggers back…he didn’t expect that. Monroe claws at his face…Scruff advises against it…she stops and knees Depth in the gut a few times. She whips him across the ring…he hits the opposing ropes and bounces off…Monroe DRILLS him in the face with a devastating Superkick!!~

Smith: The Jacqui Kick!! He could be out!

Hood: Alpha Bitch indeed…remind me to stay away from that woman

Smith: For the sake of your loved ones…if you have any, I will do just that

Hood: Hey, somebody has to feed my Tamagotchi

Smith: Wow, those still exist?

Hood: Fuck yea they do

~The crowd chants “Jacqui!” She looks down at Depth and stomps on his face. She heads into the corner and tags Kenshin into the match. The crowd ERUPTS seeing Takamura back in an OCW ring. He reaches for Depth and grabs a handful of his thick hair. He whips Depth into a corner. Depth hits hard. Kenshin charges in and delivers a splash…he seamlessly, after the splash, slides over the top rope and lands on the apron. Depth staggers out of the corner. Kenshin climbs to the top and leaps off, drilling Depth face first into the mat with a Bulldog from the top~

Smith: Tremendous offense by Kenshin Takamura…he’s as smooth and efficient as I remember

Hood: Smooth, huh? You wanna get in there and rub lotion on his skin?

Smith: Of course not!

Hood: IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!

~Takamura stands Depth up. He’s wobbly…about to fall over. Kenshin measures Depth up he spins around and CRUSHES Depth in the face with a Roaring Elbow!!! Depth falls to the mat…he’s done. Kenshin looks at Depth then over at Shootah. Shootah hops off the mat and points at his paper “Dcotor’s note, yo.” Kenshin looks at Jacqui. He points at Jacqui and the crowd chants ‘YES!’ Kenshin nods and walks over, he tags his partner into the match…the crowd pops~

Smith: Depth is done…Shootah won’t compete…so this one is all Jacqui’s

Hood: I guess that makes Kenshin some kind of gentleman?

Smith: Perhaps…but it’s also an opportunity to showcase Jacqui Monroe to the OCW audience

Hood: Yea…I wonder how MJ Bell feels about all this

Smith: Oh quit stirring the pot

Hood: I’m just saying rumor has it that Kenshin was AGAINST the move from Platinum BACK to Orange.

Smith: Yea, well Jacqui has blonde hair…so that argument is irrelevant

Hood: Blonde’s a lot closer to platinum than orange

~Jacqui pulls Depth to his feet. She hooks his head under her arm…she does a single under hook with his right arm…she kicks her legs out and drops him face first with a Modified Single Under hook DDT!!! She rolls Depth over and covers him. Scruff makes the count~

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here are your winners…Jacqui Monroe and Kenshin Takamura…TOKYO KNIVES!!!!!

Smith: And Jacqui gets the pin with the Drop Dead Gorgeous! What a dominating performance! Kenshin and Jacqui went in there and took care of business.

Hood: Kenshin looks badass as always and Jacqui…well, I wouldn’t want to fuck with that bitch

Smith: Indeed…The Aptitude had to have been watching that match up

Hood: True…but they’ve got a lot of shit on their minds tonight so…maybe not

Smith: It’s pretty clear to me that Tokyo Knives are going to receive a shot at The Aptitude at some point in the future…it’s only a matter of time.

Hood: And they will fall…just like everyone else

Smith: That remains to be seen…well folks…what a great way to start the night off. Two great additions to the roster who are going to make a huge impact. We’ve got two matches set to take place in a short amount of time…so, before we get to them…let’s take a look at some footage from earlier today

~We cut to a video recorded earlier in the day. GM Marcus Welsh is seated inside the Governor’s office. John Bel Edwards is his name and governing is his game. He steps into the office…it doesn’t appear Welsh has been waiting long. He takes a seat behind his desk and tosses a mint into his mouth~

Governor Edwards: Mr Welsh, sorry to keep you waiting but, as you can imagine – running an entire state keeps me pretty busy.

Marcus Welsh: Oh, absolutely…but you do a great job. I’d rank you, easily, in my top five governors.

Governor Edwards: That’s wonderful of you to say. Believe it or not being the governor of Louisiana comes with a fair amount of scrutiny and speculation. So, to hear a man of your stature make a statement like that is refreshing.

Marcus Welsh: Hey, it’s the truth.

~Welsh smiles, Edwards smiles. They are both so fucking phony~

Governor Edwards: Now, I’m sorry you had to fly all the way out here to hear this. I tried making it clear over the phone to save you the time and energy.

Marcus Welsh: I understand that but I also know there are certain deals that are easier to negotiate in person rather than over the phone, email…you know what I mean.

Governor Edwards: Even if I did have a clue toward your allusions…I simply could not void this contract. The state of Louisiana thrives on events such as these and we feel, based on word of mouth that’s already been spreading throughout the southern Louisiana community that this event is going to be a massive success. It could bring millions of dollars into our poverty stricken communities.

Marcus Welsh: I get that, completely. But I want you to know that I work for a man who has more money than an event of this size could ever dream of creating. So, let’s get to the point…you throw me a number, along with a finder’s fee and everyone can leave happy.

~The Governor sits back. Money certainly talks with this man…which should come as no surprise…Politics + Louisiana = Ultimate Corruption. Welsh catches the man glancing at a photo of a geeky, scrawny kid in a basketball uniform~

Governor Edwards: Yea…I can’t. I’ve already made too many promises.

Marcus Welsh: Is that your kid?

~The Governor looks at the photo once more~

Governor Edwards: Nope…he’s my godson. I attend mass regularly at St. Helena Roman Catholic Church…he’s the son of a very affluent family. Parents are big donators…so, you know, as long as I show up to a few of the kid’s games, display an interest…they keep elevating my campaign when the time comes.

Marcus Welsh: Gotcha…he must be really special to you

Governor Edwards: Not really, kid’s a brat, if you want to know the truth. Can’t stand him…he graduated high school a few years ago and is now interning here in the Governor’s Mansion. I’d do almost anything to get rid of the little pest. He does enjoy professional wrestling though…very excited about the event on June 19th.

Marcus Welsh: Deal.

Governor Edwards: Huh?

Marcus Welsh: You toss me a number and a finder’s fee…cancel the contract and we’ll offer the kid an OCW contract.

Governor Edwards: I must have failed to mention the part about him lacking any semblance of athleticism.

Marcus Welsh: That’s fine…he’s young, we’ll stick him with Jack Puffer or something…who knows, might toughen him up.

Governor Edwards: Hmm

~Edwards thinks long and hard about this. Welsh senses he’s close~

Governor Edwards: Ya know, I think they just might go for it. Alright, Marcus, I think we have a deal!

~Edwards grabs a pen and pulls the OCW/Louisiana State Pen contract out. He moves to void the deal. Suddenly, the door is kicked in. Welsh turns around in his seat. The Governor falls out of his chair. A large, no fuck around, burly man in an officer’s uniform and sporting a GIANT STACHE steps in~

Burly Man: Excuse me gentlemen but I am Warden Jonathan Love. Governor Edwards, I am here to apprehend you on charges of bribery and human trafficking.

~Edwards leaps to his feet. He’s caught. He stumbles over his words~

Governor Edwards: Wait, wait…Warden Love! I wasn’t REALLY going to terminate that contract. I was just joking around.

Marcus Welsh: This is bullshit! Finish what you started, Governor…Buffet’s lawyers will protect you!

Governor Edwards: Uh…eh…I…

~Governor Edwards is torn~

Warden Love: Mr. Welsh, if you do not exit this office immediately I will have you taken to the Louisiana State Pen on charges of obstruction of justice. And you can explain to those prisoners…including DIRTY Devin McKnight why they aren’t WORTHY enough to attend a wrestling show.

~Welsh has no choice. He exits. The door slams shut. We hear shouting, cowering, a couple of hard slaps followed by a bit of crying. Welsh looks over at the Governor’s secretary. She offers him an Altoid. He declines. The door opens and Warden Love marches past Marcus~

Warden Love: Good day, Mr. Welsh.

~Welsh turns around. The red eyed Governor is standing in his doorway~

Governor Edwards: The event will go on as scheduled live from the Louisiana State Pen on Monday, June 19th. I suggest you have a name and poster ready for promotion by next Monday.

~Welsh starts to protest but the door is slammed in his face. He looks at the carpet. He doesn’t move for several moments. The secretary seems nervous…she offers him another Altoid. He doesn’t respond. He finally moves and yells~

Marcus Welsh: FUCK!!!!

~Welsh storms out of the office…he pulls his phone out and dials Buffet. We fade back to the announce team~

Smith: Well, I can tell you one thing…I am not attending that show

Hood: You’re gonna have to

Smith: This job…it never ceases to make me do terrible things

Hood: Yep, it certainly has its perks

Smith: I mean…what are they going to call such an event? How do they market it? This is a disaster…don’t you realize…we only do four of these events a year…what a waste

Hood: Hey…you never know, it could be cool

Smith: No…no…it will NOT be cool. This will NEVER be cool

Hood: Meh

Smith: How can you be so calm about all of this?

Hood: Because, if some rapey prisoner gets loose and comes after us…I’ve got your ass to protect mine

Smith: I hate you…anyway, folks…I’m going to block all of THAT out of my mind and focus on some exciting news…meaning, the in ring action! Up next is the Mini Rumble to figure out one half of the OCW Title picture.

Hood: FUCK YEA

Smith: Sixteen of the best talent OCW has to offer will step into the ring with the ultimate opportunity on the line…let’s head down to ringside and find out who emerges as the number one contender!

Hood: Fuck yea TIMES TWO

Smith: Indeed

#1 Contender Match for OCW Title
Mini Massacre Rumble
16 Entrancts

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for the Mini Massacre Rumble!! In order to win this match you must be the last wrestler standing after all 15 other participants have been tossed OVER the top rope with BOTH feet touching the floor on the outside. The winner will receive a shot at the OCW Championship. Now…introducing the competitor who drew #1….

Smith: Who’s it going to be, Hood?

Hood: I know exactly who it is

Smith: How’s that…did you get spoilers or something? If so…do not leak those on air!

Hood: Nah…it’s always the same person who draws #1. An unlucky, unhappy fucker

Smith: Well, yea, that’s true, I suppose…

~”Inside Us All” by Creed hits. The crowd jumps to their feet with a strong ovation as ‘The Icon’ Shawn Rossdale emerges from behind the curtain. He heads down the ramp not taking any time or extra energy to pose or interact with fans. He’s on a mission. He rolls under the ropes, into the ring….he’s ready for the match~

Belvedere: From Primrose Hill, London, England…standing 6’1 and weighing in at 205lbs…”The Icon” Shawn Rossdale!!

Smith: Shawn Rossdale and his catchy theme ‘Inside Us All’ by Creed gets us started!

Hood: The fuck is that song about? Is Creed insinuating that their dicks are currently inside us all?

Smith: I certainly hope not!

Belvedere: And now…the competitor who drew #2!

Hood: I think…

Smith: No more predictions from you!

~”Slow Me Down” By Devin Townsend Band hits. The crowd gives one of their loudest ovations of the evening as REBEL emerges. He, like Rossdale, walks straight to the ring with any fanfare. Rossdale leans in a corner watching the rising OCW star. Rebel steps up onto the apron and then through the ropes. He keeps a close watch on The Icon~

Belvedere: From Chicago, Illinois…standing 6’7 and weighing in at 240lbs…Rebel!!

Hood: Very rebellious of Rebel to enter this early!

Smith: I don’t think it was his choice

Hood: Ya know, being #2 sucks. You have the same fucking hill to climb as #1 but people don’t seem to give you half the credit

Smith: That is true

~The bell rings as Belvedere exits. Rebel and Rossdale lock up quickly! The crowd goes wild. Rebel backs Rossdale into a corner. He knees Rossdale in the gut and whips him across the ring. Rebel charges in behind Rossdale. Rossdale reaches the corner and stops…he grabs the ropes and leaps over the charging Rebel. He’s standing behind Rebel and hooks his waist for a German. He starts to lift Rebel…but Rebel elbows Rossdale three times in the head. Rossdale lets go and staggers back. Rebel turns around and drops Rossdale with a clothesline!~

Smith: Fast start to this match…these two competitors are ready to go!

Hood: Stupid if you ask me…I would have slid under that bottom rope and taken a seat over here…tried some commentary for most of the match, ya know?

Smith: That’s a very cowardly strategy

Hood: Does it really matter if you win?

~Rebel pulls Rossdale to his feet and says ‘let’s try this again’…he whips Rossdale into the corner…this time Rossdale hits the way Rebel intended. Rebel charges in with a splash…his head nearly hits the post he gets so much elevation. Rebel backs out with Rossdale staggering forward…Rebel lifts Rossdale onto his shoulders and drops him with a Samoan Drop! The crowd is firmly behind Rebel at this point~

Smith: One thing we didn’t know about Rebel was the apparent leg injury he suffered during the filming of Survivor. Could that have, perhaps, impacted the early part of his OCW career?

Hood: DON’T YOU DARE…TIO beat him fair and square…don’t try and excuse it via some phony made for TV injury.

Smith: I’m told it was a very serious injury that took some time to heal…we might JUST NOW be seeing a healthy Rebel.

Hood: I call bullshit on that. I think Rebel heard that the women of the Amazon were fucking smoking hot and decided he had enough of the jungle life.

~Rebel stomps on Rossdale a few times. He places his boot into Rossdale’s throat, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He lifts Rossdale up and looks toward the ropes. He rushes forward and tosses Rossdale over the top rope! Rossdale lands on the apron! Rebel tries to kick him off. While doing so “Lola Montez” by Volbeat hits! Rebel looks up and sees Jade Spritz slowly sauntering her way to the ring~

Smith: It’s Jade Spritz! OCW’s senior seductress!

Hood: I don’t think she’s going to like that fucking nickname

Smith: Just came to me

Hood: Sooo…no countdown, no buzzer?

Smith: This is a MINI Rumble, Hood…that’s what they told me backstage, anyway…when I asked.

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!

~Rossdale capitalizes on Rebel’s momentary lapse in concentration. He kicks his leg up, into Rebel’s face! Rebel staggers back. Rossdale stands on the apron. Spritz sees and opportunity and rushes in. She grabs Rossdale’s leg and yanks back!!! The crowd gasps…Rossdale holds onto the ropes with his feet dangling. He manages to land a solid enough kick into Jade’s chest that it sends her staggering back. Rebel charges in…Rossdale whips his body forward, using the ropes, under the bottom rope and between Rebel’s legs. He runs into the ropes…Rebel turns around. Jade hops onto the apron…Rossdale dropkicks Rebel!! He falls into the ropes and bumps into Sprintz knocking her off the apron and to the floor~

Smith: Great offense by Shawn Rossdale…what started as lifesaving maneuvers quickly turned into the ole two birds, one stone tactic

Hood: Fuck…dude was almost eliminated….have to hand it to him, that was impressive. Even if he was doing it against an old woman and a guy with one leg

Smith: Oh so NOW Rebel’s injury was legit…when it fits YOUR narrative

~Rebel staggers forward…Rossdale hooks Rebel and tosses him over his head with a T-Bone Suplex!! Rossdale pops back to his feet…the crowd is getting behind him. Spritz slides into the ring…Rossdale runs into the ropes and is met with a SUPERKICK from Spritz!! Rossdale falls to the mat. Spritz drops to her knees…she grabs Rossdale by the hair and repeatedly slams the back of his head into the mat~

Smith: Jade Spritz has finally made it inside the ring and is making Rossdale pay for his actions

Hood: She definitely seems like the type of woman who would go psycho on your ass

Smith: You think?

Hood: Oh yea…that prestigious persona…the ‘elegant, sexy’ chick portrayal…it’s all a cover up for insecurity…the minute a guy drops her, she probably puts sugar in his engine

Smith: That’s terrible!

~Sprits returns to her feet. She perches herself on the middle buckle. Rossdale gets to his feet, wobbly, holding the back of his head. She leaps off with a dropkick into Rossdale’s head! Rossdale falls to the mat. Spritz pops back to her feet. She’s quickly run over, however, via a clubbing forearm from Rebel~

Smith: Ouch!

Hood: Rebel won’t put up with her shit!

Smith: It’s every man….err….every PERSON for themselves in this match!

Hood: Unless you’re Tony the Spider…then, well, I think everyone is pulling for you

Smith: Not CJ O’Donnell

Hood: True…CJ might literally KILL Tony if he sees him

~Rebel lifts Spritz up and he drills her into the mat with a scoop slam. He stomps on Jade…her body rolls near the ropes. She latches onto the bottom rope for support. Rebel throws a couple of stiff kicks into her rib cage. Suddenly, “Vagabond” by The Greenskeepers hits! The crowd jumps to their feet…former OCW Savage Champion Mack O’Connor emerges! He hustles down to the ring~

Smith: It’s Mack O’Connor…one of the favorites to win this Mini-Rumble…a former OCW Champion!

Hood: Guy looks pretty good for the beating he took last week

Smith: Maybe The Knife Man isn’t as inept as we all thought?

Hood: Yea…perhaps….but, dude, drawing #4…that blows

Smith: It’s not the best number, that’s for sure!

~O’Connor slides into the ring. Rebel leaves Spritz alone…he throws a punch at O’Connor. Mack blocks it and drills Rebel with a right hand and another and another!! The crowd is going crazy for the onslaught of right hands. Rebel staggers into a corner. Mack climbs to the second rope…he brings his right fist down into Rebel’s head as the crowd counts along~

Smith: You know he’s been seething all week after his loss to Meyhu last Monday

Hood: Fucking classic match…sucks he lost but, hey, somebody had to

Smith: Indeed…but Mack O’Connor isn’t a man who enjoys losing

Hood: I guess that’s why he wins so much

Smith: That…that would make sense

~The crowd yells “NINE!” Mack brings one last fist down…they go wild cheering “TEN!!!” Mack then head butts Rebel!! Mack jumps down and backs away…Rebel falls face first onto the canvas. Mack doesn’t have time to celebrate as a kick is thrown into his kidney from Rossdale! He turns around, leaning to the side. Rossdale kicks him in the face with a Spinning Heel Kick!! Mack falls to the mat, holding his face in pain~

Smith: A great burst of momentum that was halted by The Icon

Hood: In other words, Mr. Rossdale has just welcomed Mack O’Connor to the party!

Smith: Indeed!

~Rossdale stomps on Mack a few times. His control is short lived as Spritz spears him to the mat! Rossdale clutches his midsection. Spritz quickly transitions into a Triangle choke!! Rossdale flails his arms and kicks his legs, trying to break free. He reaches the ropes but that won’t do him any favors in this match. Spritz applies as much pressure as she can~

Smith: She’s going to choke him out!

Hood: Fucking bitch is kinky

Smith: Not like that!

Hood: Well, in what other way is she going to choke him out…ooohhh…I getcha

Smith: DEFINITELY not in that manner

~Rossdale knows he can’t win if he stays in the hold much longer. He fights to his knees, then to his feet. Rebel is on his feet as well, recovering from Mack’s onslaught. He sees Rossdale holding up. He walks over and grabs Jade’s head…in a seamless “are these guys working together?” motion…Rossdale and Rebel drop Jade with a neckbreaker/powerbomb combination! The crowd pops! Jade is knocked unconscious…she releases the hold. Rossdale grabs his throat, coughing with irritation~

Smith: For two guys who have never crossed paths they sure worked well there!

Hood: I think every man can relate to the pains caused by a spiteful woman

Smith: The way you paint Miss Spritz

Hood: I’ll never forget her debut…that dirty martini…Tatum Coe’s perfect face…what a disaster

~”The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” by Weezer hits!! The fans start to boo, slightly. “The Professor” Bradley Carrington steps out from behind the curtain. His arms are full of books. He tosses them into the crowd on his way down. One accidentally hits a large woman in the head, knocking her unconscious. Carrington smiles and says something like, “Read with Caution – The knowledge within this book could overwhelm!” He hands the last book to Larry the OCW Superfan. He walks up the steps and gets into the ring~

Smith: The newcomer of the Month for April is here and, well, he’s making sure we all know it

Hood: That book is a fascinating read

Smith: Oh, so you’ve read it?

Hood: No, but Carrington told me ALL about it. Trust me… A MUST READ

Smith: Right

~Carrington goes right after Mack. He stomps on the former OCW Savage Champion, while he’s on the ground. Mack crawls into a corner, looking for protection. Carrington follows him…until he’s kneed in the back by Rossdale! Carrington staggers into the corner. He turns around and is met with a straight hand from Rossdale. Rossdale throws another, but Carrington blocks it! Carrington punches Rossdale in the face, knocking him to the mat. Rebel throws a big boot Carrington’s wat…but Carrington ducks it, grabs the back of Rebel’s head and drops him with a neck breaker~

Smith: You give and you receive…Rebel doling out the neck breaker on Jade and now taking one from The Professor

Hood: I thought that move looked familiar

Smith: Well, it is a popular move…we’ve probably called it hundreds of times

Hood: Damn, that’s a shit load of broken necks

~Carrington poses for a moment, basking in the glory of taking both Rossdale and Rebel down. Suddenly, Mack emerges from behind. The crowd goes wild. Carrington nods saying, “I know, I know” The crowd continues to cheer, he smiles, “Please, calm down, you’re embarrassing yourselves!” Mack grabs The Professor by the hair and he tosses him over the top rope and to the outside!!! Carrington hits hard and then looks in the ring with total shock. Mack looks down and just shoots Carrington his middle finger. The crowd goes wild~

Smith: BRADLEY CARRINGTON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Hood: Would you calm the fuck down? What a tragedy…Mack must be jealous

Smith: Jealous of what, exactly?

Hood: It’s common knowledge that Mack can’t read

Smith: Yes he can!

~Carrington is irate. He gets to his feet. Mack has his back turned. He spots Jade…he makes a move toward Jade. Carrington reaches in and grabs Mack’s foot! Mack is stuck. Jade throws a kick into Mack’s face!! Mack falls to the ring. Carrington releases Mack’s foot and seems to feel a bit of vindication. He walks by Larry the OCW Superfan and RIPS his book away. He carries it back with him up the ramp. Meanwhile, inside the ring – Jade pulls Rossdale to his feet and backs him into a corner. She throws several kicks into his rips and midsection~

Smith: Well, I guess Bradley Carrington got the last word in…in his mind, at least

Hood: Never turn your back on The Professor!

Smith: Is that some kind of sage advice?

Hood: It just make sense…I mean, think about it…when you walk into a class room all desks face TOWARD the front of the room. Never turn your back on The Professor, Smith…Never.

~Jade pulls Rossdale out of the corner and she drops him with a DDT. She returns to her feet…she’s the only one standing. She takes some satisfaction in that. Suddenly…soft, serene music begins to play throughout the arena. It’s like Elevator music…only more peaceful. Like the type of music you’d hear playing near a babbling brook or a breezy meadow. Jade looks around, confused~

Smith: This is interesting…very relaxing music, though

Hood: Man…tell me about it. I could lean back and catch a couple of Z’s!

Smith: Please don’t

Hood: *yawn* Such peaceful music…

~MOTHER FUCKING INTENSITY!!!! The words DESTROY the peaceful music as “Top of the World” by Van Halen fires up!! Jade jumps in the air from shock. The fans nearly have a heart attack. IGGY FUCKING HARDY barrels through a brick wall in front of the entrance. He sprints toward the ring. He leaps from the bottom of the ramp, jumping over the top rope and doing a quasi-somersault on the mat. He pops back to his feet and flexes for the crowd who are all chanting “IGGY!”~

Smith: Geez!

Hood: Iggy fucking Hardy!

Smith: He is considered one of the favorites…somehow

Hood: He’s already intense! These fuckers are dead

~Iggy’s head slowly turns…it’s almost like an Exorcist turn. His wild eyes spot Jade. Jade returns his look and says, in a very Jade-like manner, “No thanks.” She slides out of the ring, under the bottom rope. Iggy rushes toward the ropes…he’s about to leap over the top rope, with an aerial attack on Jade but the fans yell “No, Iggy NO!!!” He stops. He begins to calm down. He wipes his forehead…his intensity begins to fade. “Thanks guys!” he gives the fans a thumbs up. Arms wrap Iggy around the waist…Rebel hoists Iggy up and tosses him halfway across the ring with a Release German Suplex!!~

Smith: Iggy nearly eliminated himself!

Hood: We also saw another neck breaker!

Smith: Huh?

Hood: That neck turn….he was like an inch away from a neck snap!

Smith: That’s not the type of neck breaker I was referencing

~Rebel turns around to go after Iggy but is met with a right hand from Mack. Rebel staggers into a corner. Rossdale gets to his feet. Mack spots him and drills him with a right hand. Mack then rotates…right hand to Rossdale, right hand to Rebel…the fans go wild with Mack’s flurry of punches. He finally drops Rossdale with a right hand. He then pummels Rebel with a right…Rebel ALMOST goes over the top. Instead, he’s hanging over the top rope. Mack grabs his legs and tries to lift him over~

Smith: Mack O’Connor is a brawler…simply put, the man loves to throw punches

Hood: I heard a rumor that he had the bones in his hands replaced with Titanium

Smith: As hard a punch as that man packs I have a hard time believing that

Hood: It was highly controversial…some doctor named Stryker performed it

Smith: Okay, now I know you’re yanking my chain!

Hood: Gross

~Jade slides into the ring. She sees Mack working on Rebel. She hurries over and starts to help Mack. Together, they’ve almost got the tall competitor over the top. “Smart Went Crazy” begins to play! The fans go wild! Bob Grenier, the former OCW Champion, rushes to the ring. He goes after Jade. He turns her around and kicks her in the gut. He then lifts her up and drops her to the mat with a Gut Wrench Suplex! He twirls Mack around and raises his right hand…Mack looks at it…Grenier then SPITS in Mack’s face! Mack staggers into the corner. Rebel tips over and lands on the apron. Grenier leans in and head butts Mack in the shoulder~

Smith: This could be a big night for Grenier…if he’s able to outlast everyone and win…he’s right back in the OCW Title picture

Hood: That would be crazy…I know one thing, the man knows how to spit

Smith: Is this going to devolve into some type of Jade joke?

Hood: Not originally but now…maybe

~Bob stands on the second rope. He balls up his fist and he begins to punch away on Mack’s bald dome. The crowd counts along. Behind him we see Rossdale emerge. He spots Grenier and instantly recognizes a major threat. He runs in and shoves Bob from behind! Bob tumbles over the top rope and lands harshly on the outside!! The crowd boos as Bob grabs his back in pain~

Smith: Bob Grenier has been eliminated!

Hood: Shit, that didn’t last long at all…I couldn’t even get a Jade Spritz joke worked up

Smith: Shawn Rossdale saw an opportunity…as much as I hate it...it was smart

Hood: Fucking guy could win it…all the way from #1!

Smith: It’s been known to happen…far more often than you’d think, really

Hood: Yea, it’s almost a pro wrestling cliché

~Rossdale, feeling lucky…lifts Mack’s legs up, over the top rope…Mack grabs onto the ropes as Rossdale tries to leverage his feet into the air. Rebel rolls back into the ring. He is slow to his feet. Jade returns to her feet. She spots Rebel and sprints in…Rebel ducks!! He lifts Spritz up and over the top rope!! Jade lands on the apron, luckily. Rebel falls to the mat with his back against the ropes….in doing so, his leg brushes against Iggy’s mullet~

Smith: Jade Spritz narrowly averted elimination

Hood: Yea and Mack is hanging on for DEAR life

Smith: Yes, yes he is

Hood: You think someone has actually written Life a letter…”Dear Life, why did you fuck me over so bad?”

Smith: I’d hope not

Hood: Yea, maybe the cereal though…”Dear Life, why are you so fucking bland”

~Iggy’s body begins to shake. Rebel is seated against the ropes. Jade is rising to her feet directly behind him, on the apron. Rebel spots Iggy’s gyrations. His eyes widen. He says, “Oh shit.” Iggy KIPS up!!! He yells “MULLET MOTHER FUCKER!!” Rebel rolls out of the way…Iggy turns to Jade. He sprints in and SHOVES Jade off the apron. She flies through the air, slamming into the barricade!! Estimates say she may have reached sixty miles per hour. Fans around her all fall backwards, spilling their drinks. The crowd goes wild chanting “IGGY!” Iggy runs around the ring, pumping his fist and shaking his head like a maniac~

Smith: Jade Spritz has been eliminated courtesy of an INTENSE Iggy Hardy!

Hood: Fuck...I didn’t know Jade Spritz could fly that fast

Smith: It was quite the sight

Hood: The rest of these guys are fucked now that Iggy is all intense…again

~Iggy grabs Rossdale…he throws him across the ring. Rossdale’s body slams into the mat and slides up against the bottom turnbuckle. Iggy lifts Mack over his head and he tosses him like ten feet in the air, catching him on the way down and drilling him into the mat with a Powerslam!!! Iggy then grabs Rebel’s leg as he tries to crawl away…he yanks him into the ring…spins him around via that one leg and then tosses him at the ropes…Rebel flies through the middle and top rope landing roughly on the outside!!! The crowd is frenzied with “IGGY!” chants!! He sprints around the ring…he does a few front flips, landing on his feet~

Smith: Iggy Hardy just laid waste to all the active participants!

Hood: This is fucking unbelievable!

Smith: I fear for the life of whoever is slated to come out next…there’s nothing that could derail Iggy

Hood: Not in this state

~HAHAHAHAHAHA bashes the OCW Arena’s speakers. The crowd goes wild as “Jump” by Van Halen hits. TONY THE SPIDER emerges! His shades are on, his fanny pack is FULL FORCE. He struts down to the ring. Iggy slows down. Iggy stares at the man. Tony awkwardly climbs onto the apron and he stumbles through the ropes. He steps up to Iggy…the two men have a stare down. The crowd is going wild “Iggy!” “Tony!” dueling chants~

Smith: What is wrong with our fans? This man is winless in OCW! He’s not even an athlete

Hood: He’s Tony the Spider, Smith! A future star!

Smith: He’s like FIFTY, Hood! He doesn’t have much of a future left

Hood: Oh, so now you’re going to wish death on ole Tony

~Iggy stands over Tony like a giant animal curious inspecting the much smaller prey. Tony is none the wiser. He’s just happy to be there. He starts laughing. Iggy runs his hand through Tony’s hair and feels Tony’s mullet. Iggy then reaches back and touches his mullet. Tony laughs harder. Iggy nods. He reaches back…Tony reaches back and they HIGH FIVE!~

Hood: MULLETS UNITE

Smith: I can’t take much more of this…this is just silly

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!

~Rossdale gets to his feet. Tony laughs at him. Iggy goes after Rossdale…he shoves him into a corner. Iggy restrains Rossdale from moving. Tony charges in and gives Rossdale a very flabby splash! It doesn’t hurt Rossdale all that much. Iggy then slugs Rossdale in the face with a right hand which seems to knock him unconscious. Tony turns and laughs at Mack. Iggy heads after O’Connor. He tosses Mack into a corner and pins him against the buckles…like he did Rossdale. Tony runs in, he stumbles, nearly falls…but he jumps, getting 3 full inches of the mat…he lands on top of Mack with another flabby splash!! Mack looks around like “What the fuck? Was that supposed to hurt?” Iggy SLUGS Mack in the face with a right hand, knocking the former OCW Champion to his knees~

Smith: Unique teamwork on display here

Hood: Could we see the formation of a new team?

Smith: Negative…I’m told OCW is already in talks with Timmy Daddy Long Legs…or whatever…8 Legged Freaks are coming to OCW

Hood: EVEN BETTER

~Rebel rolls back into the ring…he’s unaware of what’s been going on. Iggy grabs him by the hair and yanks him to his feet. He bullies him into a corner and pins him back…Tony runs in and delivers his third flabby splash!!! Iggy slugs Rebel! Rebel falls to the mat. Tony bends over at the knees, he’s exhausted. Iggy checks on Tony the Spider. “Indestructible” by Disturbed hits! The fans get on their feet and they cheer as Robbie Rayder sprints toward the ring~

Smith: Finally…someone who takes this stuff seriously

Hood: Maybe a little too seriously

Smith: He’s showing a burst of energy sprinting down to the ring

Hood: Yea, maybe a little too much energy

Smith: It’s Robbie Rayder, everyone!

Hood: Yea, maybe a little too Robbie Rayder

Smith: Shut up

~Rayder slides into the ring. Iggy goes after him…Rayder ducks a clothesline. He sprints and throws a kick at Tony’s head. He nails it!! Tony flies into the ropes, he falls through the middle and bottom ropes, landing roughly on the outside. Rayder is back to his feet. He sprints for the ropes….Iggy faces Rayder…Rayder leaps into the air and connects with a Sick Kick!!! Iggy falls to the mat, holding his face in pain~

Smith: What a sequence from Robbie Rayder!

Hood: I say it every week that mighty mouse mother fucker comes out…he’s quick

Smith: He’s also determined…the man is close to breaking through…perhaps tonight is the night!

Hood: I doubt it…people that small never win these things

~Tony the Spider re-emerges…he slides in. He runs up behind Rayder who has positioned Iggy into a corner. Rayder throws a kick at Iggy’s chest. Iggy starts to become INTENSE. Rayder backs up…unsure of what to do. Tony sneaks in and kicks Rayder in the crotch, from behind!! Rayder doubles over and falls to the mat. Iggy pops to his feet. He walks up to Tony and points at him…the crowd yells out “YOU!” Tony laughs. The two run around the ring and pump their arms in the air. The crowd goes wild with another “Tony!” “Iggy!” dueling chant taking place~

Smith: As much as I dislike Tony the Spider and what he represents…this IS a fun moment

Hood: I guess

Smith: There’s nothing that could kill the joy in this atmosphere…these fans are loving it…everyone is happy…

Hood: True…people are in good moods

Smith: Nothing could sour this mood…ruin these people’s good times…there’s not gonna be any rain on this parade!

~”Kings Never Die” by Eminem hits. The crowd’s mood suddenly turns. They boo heavily. CJ O’Donnell heads down to the ring with his OCW Tag Title draped over his shoulder. He slides into the ring with the belt. Iggy goes after him…CJ slams the belt into Iggy’s gut! He then uppercuts Iggy’s face with it!! Iggy falls to the mat, hard! Tony the Spider laughs at CJ. CJ grows irate “You laughing at ME?!” He runs Tony over with the belt!! Tony falls to the mat and is knocked out. The crowd boos and chants “FUCK YOU, CJ!”~

Smith: Well, the fun is over

Hood: That’s fine because CJ is out here to get shit done!

Smith: He’s all business tonight…he sees and understands the opportunity in front of him

Hood: Yep, this is a chance to jump ahead of the crowded pack of OCW wrestlers…potentially a once in a career opportunity

Smith: Yep it took PerZag 3 years to win the OCW Title

Hood: Shit, Maurako’s been around for nearly 20 years and never won one

Smith: Indeed

~CJ quickly locates Rayder. Rayder pops to his feet, sensing CJ stalking him. He throws a kick at CJ…CJ ducks it…Rayder throws a leg sweep….CJ jumps it. Rayder spins and goes for a discus elbow but CJ decks him with the belt!!! Rayder’s body goes stiff…then limp. He falls to the mat. CJ tosses his tag belt out of the ring and falls to his knees…he pummels Rayder with lefts and rights…CJ is furious~

Smith: CJ remembers last week

Hood: I’d fucking hope so…I mean, the guy doesn’t have Alzheimer’s or anything, right?

Smith: Well, you know what I mean…Rayder prevented CJ from finishing his attack on Chaotic

Hood: Small men with big ideas usually get crushed

~Rayder’s busted open. It isn’t gaping or anything, but enough to produce a notable amount of blood. CJ pulls Rayder to his feet and yells at him. He’s talking trash. He clenches Rayder’s head and delivers several knee strikes. We see Rayder’s blood staining the knees of O’Donnell. Finally, O’Donnell heads to the ropes and he tosses Rayder over them. Rayder lands roughly, appearing to be slightly injured from CJ’s assault. The fans boo~

Smith: Robbie Rayder has been eliminated…such a shame.

Hood: CJ zeroed right in on Rayder

Smith: Indeed he did…Rayder never stood a chance. I’d like to see these two in a one on one setting

Hood: What, like a candlelit dinner? Fucking perv

Smith: NO! A wrestling match you imbecile

~CJ talks shit to Rayder. Mack emerges from behind and lifts CJ’s legs up…he flips over the top but lands on the apron!! The crowd nearly lost their minds. Mack tries to kick CJ off the apron and to the floor, but he hands on to the bottom rope. His feet dangle over the apron. Rossdale gets to his feet…he comes over to help. Mack feels someone behind him…he turns around and drills Rossdale with a punch~

Smith: Mack seems a little jumpy

Hood: Can you blame him? He’s been getting his ass kicked by The Aptitude all year long!

Smith: Mack has had more success against The Aptitude than anybody else in this company

Hood: For whatever that’s fucking worth

~With Mack’s attention diverted…CJ swings his legs under the ropes and he takes out Mack’s base! Mack falls back onto the mat. CJ climbs to his feet on the apron and takes a chance. He hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a splash onto Mack!! CJ then punches Mack in the head viciously, trying to injure the former Savage Champion~

Smith: Some real bad blood between these two

Hood: AIDS infected blood

Smith: Uhh, okay

Hood: Blood doesn’t get much worse than that

~CJ relents. He stands. Mack sits up, woozy. CJ runs in and kicks Mack in the face with a loud SMACK. Mack’s back slams into the mat. “Numb” by Gary Clark Jr fires up. The fans murmur with intrigue as Damian K’…the Oh Shit Contract holder and Battle Royal Tables Match winner from Like There’s No Tomorrow heads to the ring. CJ turns and watches…he seems a bit uneasy with what’s headed his way~

Smith: Uh oh…Damian K’…one of the fiercest competitors in OCW is on his way to the ring

Hood: He did lose to Mark Storm last week

Smith: Yea but when Mark Storm is on, he can beat anybody

Hood: EF-5 Mother fucker

Smith: Indeed

~K’ steps onto the apron. CJ starts to move toward him…but hesitates. K’ enters into the ring. He goes after CJ…CJ responds and the two men brawl in the center of the ring. The crowd cheers the interaction between the two talented wrestlers. K’ gains the upper hand. He has CJ reeling against the ropes…he whips CJ off the ropes…CJ tries to reverse it…K’ does a double reverse but turns it into the Death Dealer!! He turns CJ inside out!!! CJ lands on the mat, unconscious…the crowd goes wild~

Smith: Death Dealer!! Nobody gets up from that, Hood!

Hood: Fuckin hell…CJ is in deep shit

Smith: In so many words, yes

Hood: Damnit…where is Mark Storm when you REALLY need him, huh?

Smith: Back home in Brooklyn?

Hood: Up in the fucking clouds – that’s where!

~Damian doesn’t have much time to celebrate as a big boot comes out of nowhere drilling him in the back of the head. He stumbles into a corner. He turns around and sees Rebel. Rebel smashes a few elbows into Damian’s head, keeping him trapped. Rebel then takes a few steps back…Damian staggers out, Rebel picks him up and drops him into the mat with a Spinebuster! Rebel is the lone man standing at this point with the other competitors laid out~

Smith: He may have been the second competitor in this match but Rebel is looking strong!

Hood: I don’t know about any of these guys….but while Iggy is, you know, not intense…I’d try and get him over the top rope

Smith: Probably not the worst idea

Hood: Not the worst? I’d say it’s the GREATEST

~Rebel spots Rossdale…he pulls him to his feet and tosses him over the top rope. Rossdale lands on the apron, hanging on for continued life. Rebel plants his foot into Rossdale’s shoulders, trying to force him off the apron. Amazingly, K’ is already back to his feet. He’s wounded but not incapacitated. He stalks up behind Rebel. The fans yell and point…Rebel turns around…K’ throws a wild clothesline…Rebel dodges it, lifts Damian up and plants him with an atomic drop! Rossdale slides back into the ring. He gets to his feet…Rebel turns around and eats a Codebreaker from Rossdale!! Rebel falls to the mat as Rossdale returns to his feet and backs into a corner, taking a breather~

Smith: The first two entrants giving a great effort here tonight

Hood: Don’t forget, Mack was #4

Smith: I haven’t forgotten

Hood: And don’t forget Tony the Spider…NEVER forget Tony the Spider

Smith: If only I could

~”Respect” by CFO$ hits!! The crowd goes into a “LUCHA! LUCHA!” chant as CHAOTIC hops out from behind the curtain. He spits a few raps. We can’t tell what’s he rapping about because of his mask…but his arms are gesticulating in a rapping manner. He finishes his rap and sprints towards the ring. He slides in under the bottom rope and goes after Rossdale! He spears Rossdale in the corner. He does a backflip, lands on his feet and nails Rossdale in the head with a spinning kick!! Rossdale falls through the top and middle rope…he lands on the apron. Chaotic throws his arms in the air feeding the ‘LUCHA!” chant~

Smith: Chaotic is looking good!

Hood: Man those were some SICK rhymes he threw down before hitting the ring

Smith: Really? How could you tell?

Hood: Because it’s Chaotic…the man is a rapping ICON…no offense to Rossdale

~Chaotic goes after Rebel…he pulls the big man to his feet. He kicks Rebel in the midsection a few times. Rebel doubles over in pain. Chaotic talks some shit through his mask. He then leaps up, wraps his legs around Rebel’s head and tosses him across the ring with a hurricanrana!!! Rebel slides out, under the bottom rope, to the outside. Chaotic sprints for the corner~

Smith: Chaotic is insane…he nearly KILLED himself TWICE on Survivor with that Shooting Star Press of his

Hood: Finisher of the Month, Smith

Smith: I think he just needs to calm down, harness some of that energy

Hood: Hey, it works for Iggy

Smith: Sad, but true

~Chaotic hops to the top of the corner. He looks down at Rebel and finds his balance~

Smith: What the…what are you doing, Chaotic?!

Hood: Dude is NUTS

~Chaotic LEAPS off with a Shooting Star Press!!! The crowd goes wild!! He drops Rebel with it! Unfortunately, he hits the floor in the process, eliminating himself. The fans don’t care…he leaps to his feet and pumps his arms in the air. “LUCHA” chants fill the arena. He tries to get back into the ring by Puff and Gruff stop him. He flashes gang symbols and starts cutting some ill rhymes on them. Puff smiles and asks for an autograph. Gruff gets angry, “DON’T BE TALKIN BOUT MY MAMA, BOY!” Chaotic shrugs and throws his arms into the air…he heads up the ramp way and exits the ringside area~

Smith: Insanity…this is just…it’s crazy, right?

Hood: I love it! Chaotic is the man!

Smith: I will give him this…that Shooting Star Press might be the most OVER move in the company…for all the wrong reasons.

Hood: Over is over, Smith

Smith: I suppose

~An injured Rebel rolls into the ring. He gets to his feet, leaning against the ropes. Damian K’ gets to his feet…he charges in and DRILLS Rebel with a clothesline!! Rebel goes over the top rope and spills onto the floor. The fans boo as K’ looks down at Rebel with satisfaction~

Smith: NO!! Starting at #2 Rebel is finally eliminated

Hood: Good effort…guy is talented

Smith: Indeed he just needs to stay focused

Hood: Yea, but in his defense, nobody would have expected a shooting star press in that situation

Smith: True

~K’ grabs Mack O’Connor…he knees Mack in the chest. Mack backs up and doubles over. He’s against the ropes. K’ measures him up for a lariat…as he does, the back of his heel touches Iggy. Iggy’s eyes FLARE OPEN. His lips peel back and his teeth slide open…he yells out “MY FUCKING DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!!” He jumps to his feet. K’ turns around to find an INTENSE IGGY!! He throws a lariat at Iggy…Iggy blocks it…he lifts Damian over his head and tosses him over the top rope and to the floor with a press slam!!! Damian hits hard as the fans are in shock. Iggy finds Tony the Spider…he picks him up and drapes him over his shoulder…Iggy sprints around the ring with Tony over his shoulder, like a towel~

Smith: One of the favorites in the match Damian K’ has been eliminated!

Hood: Fucking Iggy finally notched one against K’!

Smith: Indeed…Damian has been Iggy’s nemesis ever since joining OCW but tonight…tonight Iggy got INTENSE on Damian

Hood: Damn sure did…and now he’s celebrating with a deceased? Tony the Spider.

~K’ gets to his feet on the outside. It’s clear Iggy’s hysteria took him by surprise. He observes Iggy running around for a moment…he nods his head and leaves. It’s clear these two will meet again. K’ heads up the ramp and exits through the curtain. As he does “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” by Bowling for Soup blasts throughout the arena and Annie Alvarez emerges. Plethora the PERILOUS is behind her. She seems somewhat annoyed by his presence. She rushes down the ramp and slides into the ring where she comes face to face with Iggy. Plethora watches from ringside…he motions with his hands for her to GET AWAY~

Smith: I’m not sure Annie knows what she’s dealing with

Hood: Dude, did you know that if you accidentally leave out the ‘m’ in your name you become Sith?

Smith: So?

Hood: Are you a dark lord?

Smith: I am not

Hood: Hmm, I’m not sure…you remove the second letter in my name and I just become half a Hodor.

~Iggy drops Tony…he suffers a rough landing. Iggy reaches out and calmly squeezes Annie’s left breast. Annie’s mouth drops. She reaches back and slaps the SHIT out of Iggy. Behind her, we see CJ O’Donnell reaching his feet. Iggy becomes INTENSE!! He charges at Annie…she ducks…CJ flies into view with IRISH KNOWLEDGE!! He wipes Iggy Hardy out! The fans cheer in the impressive move before booing the man who pulled it off~

Smith: Well as much as I despise CJ and The Aptitude…that’s what Iggy gets for inappropriately touching a woman

Hood: Yea man if this were the NFL he would have fallen all the way to pick #11.

Smith: Indeed

~CJ points down at Tony and looks at Annie. “Let’s get this piece of trash OUT of our ring.” Annie warily agrees. They pull Tony’s lifeless body from the mat. They drag him toward the ropes with his feet dragging along the canvas. He just starts LAUGHING. They stop. CJ lifts a knee into Tony’s face, he shuts up. CJ and Annie lift Tony up, preparing to toss him over the top rope. Mack O’Connor pulls Tony back in for some reason. CJ turns around and is met with a straight right hand from Mack!! CJ staggers into a corner…Mack punches away on his rival. Annie keeps her distance. She spots Rossdale resting in a corner. She charges in and drills two knees into his face~

Smith: We’ve got three wrestlers left, Hood

Hood: Oh damn…who are they?

Smith: You’re terrible at your job. They are OCW Hall of Famer Curt Canon…

Hood: Yes!

Smith: OCW newcomer Josie Barnes

Hood: HOT

Smith: And OCW Savage Champion Matt Meyhu

Hood: YUSSSS

Smith: Not, umm, in that particular order

~Plethora points at CJ. Annie nods and rushes over to aid Mack in the punishment of OCW’s most hated wrestler. Annie pushes Mack out of the way. He gives her some space, half surprised half intrigued. Annie slams some short forearms into CJ’s face. She throws a few kicks into his midsection. She then places both feet into his stomach, falls back and tosses CJ toward the middle of the ring with a Monkey Flip. She turns to Mack…Mack delivers a straight left jab to her chin, knocking Annie to the mat. Plethora throws his arms in the air as the fans boo~

Smith: That was rude

Hood: Every person for themselves, Smith. If she doesn’t like it she should go to the salon and get her nails done

Smith: Wow…how sexist of you

Hood: I’m sorry, I forgot some men get their nails done as well

Smith: You’re darn straight we do!

~A loud SCREAM fills the arena…it’s a monkey scream. Suddenly, Curt Canon leaps from behind the curtain. The crowd goes wild!! Canon-mania is running wild!! He hops up and down and waves his arms in the air, encouraging the cheers. He points at the ring…the crowd chants “HELL FUCKING YES, BITCH!” He leans back and says, “Okay, geez.” He rushes down the ramp and hops onto the apron. Mack spots the Hall of Famer and waves him inside the ring…Canon hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a flying forearm…Mack ducks…Canon lands on his feet and runs into the rope…Mack turns around and is drilled with a standard flying forearm!!! Mack falls to the mat, holding his forehead in pain~

Smith: That leaves Meyhu and Josie

Hood: Sittin in a tree

Smith: No, that would be Checkers

Hood: Kay Eye Ess Ess Eye En Gee!

Smith: Oh, I get it…how…mature

~The ring is pretty full with bodies. Canon finds Tony the Spider. He helps Tony up and backs him into a corner. He slaps Tony in the face a few times…Tony chuckles…he laughs…he then ERUPTS with riotous guffawing!! The crowd goes wild. Canon finds Iggy and politely taps him on the shoulder…Iggy is about to get intense until he spots Canon. He calms down…he stands and extends his hand “Nice to meet you, sir” he states. Canon helps a dazed, wobbly Iggy into the corner with Tony…they strategize~

Smith: The three most…umm, unique stars remaining in this match appear to be teaming up

Hood: With Annie, Mack, CJ, and Rossdale in there…they are gonna need all the intensity they can get. Tony won’t be much help

Smith: Probably not

Hood: Iggy could swing him like a club…that might work

~Iggy grabs Tony by the legs. Rossdale is leaning in a corner…Iggy swings Tony around like a doll and he flings Tony at Rossdale!! Tony slams into Rossdale’s midsection! The momentum sends Tony the Spider out of the ring, through the top and middle ropes. Mack shakes his head at the lunacy. He goes after Iggy, unafraid of his intensity. As he does, Canon dropkicks his legs. Mack stumbles into Iggy’s grip…Iggy hooks Mack and lifts him into the air with a suplex…he holds Mack in the air for nearly ten seconds before dropping Mack to the mat with a Brainbuster!! Instinctively, Mack sits up before falling back to the mat~

Smith: Wow, a wrestling move from Mr. Pectacular!

Hood: Don’t shortchange Iggy

Smith: Trust me, I won’t

Hood: Good…I saw somebody at McDonalds give him six bucks back instead of seven…you don’t want to know what happened.

Smith: You’re right, I don’t

Hood: Let’s just say that employee became Iggy’s hand puppet

Smith: I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW

~Iggy and Canon seem to be working well together. CJ is up…he staggers, wobbles. Canon looks at Iggy and nods…he sprints in. CJ suddenly snaps out of his ‘daze’ and he superkicks Canon right in the face!! Canon falls to the mat. Iggy charges…and bear hugs CJ…he barrels CJ into the corner…the ring nearly shifts from the Iggy. Iggy rams his upper body into CJ with him pinned into the corner…it’s weird looking but, we guess effective~

Smith: Innovative offense from Iggy Hardy

Hood: He calls that the Hump them up!

Smith: No he doesn’t

Hood: He should

~Iggy finishes his strange gyrations and he lifts CJ onto the top buckle. CJ looks around nervously…he grabs onto the ropes for leverage. Iggy SHOVES CJ…CJ tips over, but wraps his legs around the bar between the top buckle and the post. He’s hanging upside down. Iggy climbs to the second buckle and tries to pull CJ’s legs apart. "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West blasts through the arena. The fans stand with an ‘oh shit’ look on their faces. The Marvel appears. He’s beltless…you know, titleless…STRAPLESS as some would say. He rushes down to the ring. He slides in and grabs Iggy by the back of his mullet. He pulls back and rips Iggy off the second buckle and slams him to the mat!! Iggy grabs the back of his head in pain. CJ falls to the apron and slides in. He gets to his feet and regroups with Meyhu~

Smith: It’s almost unfair…having a fresh Meyhu this late teaming up with CJ

Hood: It’s totally fair…I don’t know what you’re talking about. CJ had to survive to reach this point.

Smith: Yea but Meyhu being second to last? Are we SURE that wasn’t by design?

Hood: Nah, if it were by design he would have been THIRD from last.

Smith: I guess

~"The Fighter" by In This Moment plays as the final contestant, Josie Barnes, rushes to the ring. The Aptitude watches her head to the ring. CJ turns to Meyhu and nods as if to say, “She’s with us, it’s good.” Barnes slides into the ring. CJ instantly pulls her into their huddle. Annie joins them, giving the group four. Aptitude plus two chicks. Canon spots the gathering…Rossdale spots it as well. They look at one another. They gather…Tony the Spider starts to laugh. He rolls into the ring. They pull him in as well. Finally, Mack gets to his feet, woozy. He looks at Tony the Spider and rolls his eyes…but he stands next to him. Anything but The Aptitude. Canon points at Iggy…who is sound asleep on the mat. Mack decides it’s better if they left him alone. Iggy is laying near the ropes, out of the way~

Smith: We’ve got a standoff…four on four…with a sedate Iggy Hardy getting some rest

Hood: Smart move not fucking with that guy…he could throw them all out of the ring with one swoop of his intense arm.

Smith: Normally I’d say that’s crazy but…Iggy is far from normal

Hood: He takes intensity to ANOTHER level. SUPER INTENSITY

~The four rush at one another. Meyhu and Mack trade punches. CJ and Canon go punch for punch. Annie and Rossdale do battle. Josie rushes up to Tony the Spider…he laughs at her. She stops and hesitates. She looks over at Canon and CJ. CJ has Canon against the ropes…he’s pummeling Canon with lefts and rights. Canon’s just about ready to go over. A smile crosses Josie’s face~

Smith: All-out war! Four on four! This is tremendous!

Hood: The hell is Barnes doing? Is she checking out her adopted brother’s ass?

Smith: I certainly hope not!

Hood: She’s got something on her mind

~Barnes makes up her mind. She rushes behind CJ and lifts him over the top rope! The crowd goes wild! CJ lands on the apron! Josie tries to kick him off…Canon is in the way. She shoves him to the side and kicks at him. It doesn’t work, he’s got his arm wrapped around the bottom rope. She runs across the ring, bounces off the ropes and throws a drop kick at CJ…he slides out of the way. Josie’s legs fly through the ropes…she manages to hang onto the middle rope to keep from flying out of the ring. CJ rolls back in and gets to his feet…he stands over CJ. His eyes are wide…he’s flush with anger. Josie pulls herself back into the ring and is seated on her ass. She looks up nervous, scared….she tries to apologize~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: CJ is PISSED

Smith: She took a chance and, well, it didn’t work

Hood: What’s the saying…if you’re gonna come at the king, you best not miss?

Smith: I believe so

~CJ kicks her in the face!! She falls back, holding her face in pain. CJ grabs her by the hair and aggressively pulls her to her feet. He shoves her into the corner and unleashes a barrage of right hands into her head. Josie slumps to the ground, trying to cover up. Canon sees what’s going on and rushes in, trying to stop it. He jerks CJ around by the shoulder…CJ dives in with a head butt…Canon falls to the mat, holding his face in pain. CJ pulls Josie up by the hair and looks her right in the eyes…she looks scared, intimidated. He runs toward the ropes and he tosses her over the top rope to the floor!! She lands roughly. The fans boo loudly as CJ looks down at her angry, disappointed~

Smith: Josie Barnes has been eliminated…at the hands of her adopted brother

Hood: That was vicious…he’s not fucking around

Smith: He wants to win this as bad…if not more than any other competitor and her actions threatened that opportunity.

Hood: Plus, there are rumors she’s the reason Ruby Rose dropped him. If a woman with an ass like Ruby’s dumped me…I’d be hella pissed too

~Canon returns to his feet, groggy. CJ turns around and goes after him…we hear a SCREAM! Checkers flies into view and jumps on CJ’s face! The crowd goes wild! Canon hops up and down and points at Checkers! Checkers jumps off quickly and disappears through the crowd. Canon runs in and capitalizes on the aid…he punches CJ with three right hands. He whips CJ across the ring…CJ hits the ropes, bounces off and Canon spears him into the mat!! Canon pops to his feet with the crowd solidly behind him. In the background we see Meyhu level O’Connor with a short arm clothesline. Meyhu spots Canon feeding off the crowd. He runs up behind Canon and tosses him over the top rope to the outside!! Canon lands roughly…the crowd boos~

Smith: Dang it! Curt Canon’s night has come to an abrupt end at the hands of that dastardly son of a bitch, The Marvel!

Hood: Yea well he shouldn’t have used his damn monkey…how did Checkers get in here anyway?

Smith: A question for another time

Hood: The old fucker looked good though

Smith: Indeed he did…if he can shake off that ring rust I have no doubt he’ll be a major player

~Canon gets to his feet. He’s disappointed but not overly so. He’s a good guy, doesn’t take things TOO seriously. He heads back toward the ramp. We spot Josie on the floor…the officials are trying to get her to leave the ringside area, but she’s claiming an injury so they leave her alone. Canon passes PLETHORA. Plethora sticks his fist out…Canon smiles and fist bumps Plethora saying “You the man, dawg!” We focus back on the ring. CJ gets to his feet and starts to recover. Mack gets back to his feet. He sneaks up behind CJ and Meyhu and gives them a DOUBLE LOW BLOW. The crowd cheers, enjoying the sneak attack~

Smith: Even The Marvel is prone to enjoying the results of his actions for maybe a moment too long

Hood: He eliminated a Hall of Famer, that’s a big deal

Smith: Yea but his shot at winning this match COULD be in jeopardy

Hood: Speaking of Jeopardy…is it just me or is that not the most BORING game show of all time

Smith: Hmm…good question, there have been some boring ones

~We focus back on Annie and Rossdale. Rossdale is exhausted. He can barely put up a fight. He’s drenched in sweat. Annie knees him in the face. He falls to one knee. Annie slaps him in the face. She stands him upright, against the ropes…she charges in for a clothesline. Rossdale ducks and lifts Annie over the top rope…but she lands on the apron!!! Rossdale turns around to attack Annie…but she crawls back in under his legs. She returns to her feet and attacks Rossdale from behind. She lifts up on his legs, trying to get him over the top rope. TONY THE SPIDER rushes into view and he dumps them BOTH onto the apron. He laughs and walks away. Annie and Rossdale trade punches on the apron, both a simple bump away from elimination~

Smith: Annie Alvarez and Shawn Rossdale are flirting with elimination

Hood: And with each other!

Smith: How do you come to that conclusion?

Hood: That’s how Annie flirts…by kicking the shit out of you

~Annie knees Shawn in the gut. Shawn staggers. She kicks him in the face…he raises up…his legs wobble. She grabs him by the head and looks to toss him off the apron…instead, he drops to his knees and hits a jawbreaker!! Annie falls off the apron and to the floor!! Rossdale rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope breathing heavily…he’s survived another close call~

Smith: Annie Alvarez is gone!

Hood: Wow, two ten year veterans gone back to back…so much for OLD SCHOOL

Smith: Yep…and how about Shawn Rossdale? He came it at #1 and he’s still alive!

Hood: Well I’d hope so…we wouldn’t want people dying in these matches…these aren’t DEATH matches, Smith…you filthy bloodlust

Smith: That’s not what I meant and you know it

~Rossdale reaches his feet. He stands against the ropes, breathing heavily. He gets SMACKED with a knife edged chop! A laugh follows. Tony the Spider is the deliverer of the blood curdling chop. Tony reaches back and he delivers ANOTHER chop! The crowd chants “CHOP SOOEY” for some reason. Tony laughs. He chops and chops and chops. Rossdale is barely standing. Tony stands back and he performs and awkward looking dropkick. He barely gets any air and only one of his legs sort of touches Rossdale. Rossdale staggers away from the ropes, into a corner. Tony pops to his feet…he points out to the crowd! They go wild~

Smith: Tony the Spider electrifying this crowd!!

Hood: The master of the chop!

Smith: I wonder if he owns a slap chop

Hood: I doubt he owns anything other than what he’s wearing right now…and mayyyybe bag of chips

~Tony laughs. We can’t tell if he’s enjoying the moment or totally insane. He turns around and gets kicked in the face!! Tony goes over the top rope and he spills on the floor!! The fans boo heavily. CJ O’Donnell, the deliverer of the kick, looks down and shakes his head in disgust. Tony, on his back, just starts laughing. We see, behind him, Plethora helping a dejected Annie Alvarez away from ringside. Josie is seated against the barricade, holding her leg in pain with an OCW medic checking in. CJ quickly shifts to Rossdale~

Smith: We are down to five…CJ O’Donnell, Shawn Rossdale, Mack O’Connor, Matt Meyhu and a hibernating Iggy Hardy

Hood: My money is on MEYHU

Smith: Yes, we know

Hood: And, if not Meyhu, O’Donnell…guy looks like a badass tonight

Smith: Sure…completely gloss over the two men who have been in there the longest

Hood: Just cause a guy lives to be one hundred doesn’t mean he’s a winner

~He nails Rossdale with some overreaching right hands. Mack walks up and delivers a forearm shot into the lower back of O’Donnell. He staggers into Rossdale. Rossdale shoves CJ off. Mack lifts CJ up onto his shoulders in an electric chair!! Rossdale hops onto the middle rope…he leaps off with a clothesline!! CJ tumbles to the mat, roughly. Rossdale lands on his feet and right into the arms of Meyhu!! Meyhu drops Rossdale with The Ego Trip!!!! Rossdale is out…Meyhu grabs him by the hair, yanks him up and hurls him over the top rope!! Rossdale lands roughly as the fans boo!~

Smith: The Marvel! You have to always be aware of Meyhu…unbelievable sequence by the Savage Champion.

Hood: I just knew he was gonna be great, Smith. I mean, come on, The Marvel…he didn’t need an OUS to promote his greatness. No, this man’s work inside the ring does all the talking!

Smith: I think a certain MARVELOUS one would take issue with that statement

Hood: Yea? So? What’s he gonna do about it? Eat a Grub Worm? Hahaha

Smith: Nice impression of Tony

~Mack spots Meyhu and goes after him. Meyhu’s still facing the ropes. He turns around…O’Connor drills him with a right hand! Meyhu leans over the top rope…the fans rise with anticipation. Mack reaches back and throws another…Meyhu ducks it! He runs across the ring…he bounces off the ropes. Mack turns around…he runs at Meyhu…the two men collide with a double clothesline!! They hit the mat simultaneously. CJ slides into the corner…he looks at the two men, on the mat, gasping for air. He looks over at Iggy, still sleeping near the bottom rope~

Smith: Pick your poison, CJ.

Hood: Obviously, I’d go with Iggy…he could be dead. However…you could also…and I hate these fucking clichés…but you could wake…A SLEEPING GIANT

Smith: Well they can’t just let him lay there all night…if they do, he’ll win by default

Hood: True…pick your poison, eh?

Smith: Indeed

~Iggy starts to stir. CJ’s face is puzzled. Iggy rolls over, away from the ropes. He does a push up, reaching his knees. She shakes his head. He looks over at CJ. CJ slowly rises. Iggy waves and gives CJ a thumb up. CJ nods without showing any emotion. Iggy gets to his feet and turns his back to CJ. CJ sprints in…he leaps through the air and drills Iggy in the back with a knee!! Iggy slaps into the corner with his face smashing into the top buckle. CJ locks Iggy into a Full Nelson…he shows tremendous core strength by lifting Iggy up and SLAMMING him into the mat with a Full Nelson Slam. CJ pops back to his feet and smiles. It’s as though he’s thinking, “That wasn’t so tough”~

Smith: Did CJ just handle Mr. Pectacular?

Hood: For now…but he’d better toss that psychotic mother fucker over the top rope

Smith: His arrogance could be clouding his judgment

Hood: THAT or he could be thinking now is a better opportunity to get Mack out of the ring

Smith: True…Mack is the only man in OCW who has defeated CJ

~CJ hurries over to Mack. He stomps on Mack’s head repeatedly, keeping the former Savage Champion down. Meyhu, meanwhile, sits up. Meyhu gets to his feet and watches CJ brutally attack his foe from a week ago. Meyhu grabs Mack by the head…CJ stops kicking. Meyhu turns Mack around and locks his arms…CJ starts to bounce around like a boxer. He jabs Mack with a right…then with a left…the crowd boos heavily~

Smith: This is so disrespectful

Hood: No it’s not…they are giving him TWICE the amount of respect they would give someone else like, say, Iggy Hardy

Smith: I don’t know…it just feels like two bullies picking on someone

Hood: Hey, if Mack doesn’t like it…he can do something about it

~CJ continues with the jabs. Mack jumps back…the top of his head slams into Meyhu’s jaw!! Meyhu staggers against the ropes. Mack lunges forward with a right hand into CJ’s face!! CJ falls to the mat. Mack turns around…Meyhu is leaning into the ropes. The crowd goes wild. He charges in and clotheslines Meyhu over the top rope!!!~

Smith: Oh my gosh!!

Hood: NO WAY

Smith: Did he…did he…DANG IT

Hood: He’s on the apron…holy fuck sauce that was close…get back into the ring, Meyhu!

~Meyhu is hanging onto the apron. Both hands are wrapped around the bottom rope…O’Connor has both feet into Meyhu’s back, trying to force him off the apron. CJ comes up from behind Mack…he wraps both hands underneath Mack’s chin and drags him into the center of the ring. Mack kicks his legs, trying to break free. CJ breaks his locked hands and drives and elbow into the top of Mack’s head. It opens up a wound from last week. Blood rushes down O’Connor’s head. CJ pulls Mack to his feet and shoves him against the ropes. Mack leans into them and walks off…toward CJ. CJ runs…he hits the ropes and he flies in with IRISH KNOWLEDGE straight into Mack’s face!! Mack falls into the ropes and he nearly goes over the top. The crowd yells in fear. CJ steps back and he runs in with a clothesline…as he does, we see JOSIE BARNES pop to her feet. She jumps up and pulls down on the top…CJ clotheslines Mack but both men go over the warped rope…they flip over and are DUMPED onto the floor. The crowd reacts with shock~

Smith: CJ O’Donnell and Mack O’Connor have BOTH been eliminated

Hood: THAT BITCH

Smith: Hey, turnabout is fair play

Hood: The fuck it is…she’s not even in the match…THAT BITCH

~CJ pops to his feet. He’s shocked. He looks around…he looks into the ring. Meyhu is standing in the center. He points over at Josie. CJ turns and spots Josie. He grits his teeth…he shakes his head. Josie slowly backs away like a person would when stumbling upon a feral animal. CJ takes off, sprinting at Josie. She turns and runs up the ramp. She flies through the curtain with CJ in hot pursuit. Mack, meanwhile, is looked at by OCW medics…his cut is bleeding pretty openly~

Smith: I hope that poor girl avoids that maniac

Hood: So much for her fucking leg being injured…THAT BITCH

Smith: And now we’re down to Matt Meyhu and…Iggy Hardy

Hood: THAT BITCH

~The ring begins to shake. Meyhu looks around like ‘wtf is this an earthquake?’ He turns and sees Iggy’s body convulsing. Is he having withdrawals? Is this a seizure? Is an ALIEN about to pop out of his stomach? FUCK NO…THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS GETTING INTENSE!!! Meyhu stands back…Iggy LEAPS to his feet from his back. He screams!! The crowd busts into an “IGGY IGGY!” chant. Iggy stomps his feet and shakes his head…he ROARS…saliva, sweat and cocaine residue are all over his face. His eyes are as wide as coasters…he turns and looks at Meyhu. He points at Meyhu…the crowd yells “DOUCHE!”~

Smith: He’s intense!!!

Hood: If he wins this rumble, I swear

Smith: You swear what?

Hood: I swear on the name of your MOTHER

Smith: YOU BETTER NOT

~Iggy sprints at Meyhu…he LEAPS into the air at the Marvel. Meyhu braces for impact…Iggy SOARS over Meyhu and lands on the top buckle. Matt turns around and Iggy jumps off with a moon sault!! He connects!! He remains on top of Meyhu for a few seconds before realizing he can’t pin him. The crowd is on their feet chanting “IGGY!” He pops to his feet and marches around the ring yelling and screaming~

Smith: This place has come unglued!

Hood: I am writing a petition to my state representative…we need harsher drug testing for professional wrestlers

Smith: You want to lose your job?

Hood: I didn’t say I was going to mail it, did I? The writing part is therapeutic

~Meyhu slowly returns to his feet…Iggy runs in place like he’s charging up. He sprints at Meyhu and takes him down with a clothesline! Meyhu hits the mat. Meyhu is quick to his feet, though…Iggy hits the ropes, bounces off and clotheslines Meyhu once more! Iggy stops and motions for a GORILLA PRESS. He pulls Meyhu to his feet and lifts him over his head…he yells out “INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN!” We doubt even an intense Iggy Hardy can pull THAT off. He heads toward the ropes. Meyhu wiggles and thumbs Iggy in one of his GIANT eyes. Meyhu drops to his feet behind Iggy. He runs into the ropes, bounces off and knees Iggy into the back…Iggy goes over the top rope and lands on the apron~

Smith: Uh oh…Iggy is in trouble!

Hood: What a fucking relief…I mean, seriously…that guy, as OCW Champion?

Smith: I think it’d be fun

Hood: And you think I’m the crazy one

~Meyhu runs into the ropes once again…he bounces off. Iggy reaches his feet on the apron. Meyhu sprints in and SLAMS into Iggy…Iggy flies off the apron. Meyhu turns around and throws his arms in the air, arrogantly. Iggy lands on the barricade!! He does a backflip onto the apron. Meyhu heads toward the opposite ropes with his back to the action. He leans over, taking a breather, thinking the match is over~

Smith: The Marvel thinks this is over!

Hood: Shit! Turn around…TURN THE FUCK AROUND

Smith: He’s completely unaware!

~Iggy sneaks in through the ropes….he sprints FULL FORCE at Meyhu. He ROARS…the fans go crazy. He reaches Meyhu…Meyhu drops down and pulls the top rope…Iggy flips over the top and lands onto the floor outside the ring!!! The crowd deflates. The bell rings~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…and the new #1 Contender to the OCW Title…he is the OCW Savage Champion…”THE MARVEL” MATT MEYHU!!!!!

Smith: NO!

Hood: Holy shit…holy shit…what a fucking RELIEF

Smith: Iggy had it…he HAD it

Hood: He didn’t have shit…all that fucker had was a dangerously high level of intoxication

Smith: This is terrible…The Aptitude is one win away from guaranteeing an OCW Championship reign.

Hood: About damn time…The Aptitude should have been GIVEN that belt when they debuted…Freebird OCW Title reign!

Smith: I don’t know how I feel about the Freebird rule, to be honest

Hood: Yea well we certainly don’t need to debate it for the next ten minutes!

~Iggy pops to his feet. He looks up at Meyhu. Meyhu’s eyes meet Iggy’s…he’s ready for anything. Iggy’s muscles tighten…he flexes and yells into the sky. He turns around and he sprints around the ring…he sprints up the apron and LEAPS through the curtain. The crowd gives Iggy a nice ovation. Meyhu is finally able to relax…he walks into a corner and leans into the support, breathing heavily~

Smith: That is a dangerous man

Hood: No shit, Iggy should be quarantined

Smith: I’m talking about Matt Meyhu…that man is unstoppable. We haven’t seen a force in OCW like him since…since…Scott Syren

Hood: BLASPHEMY

Smith: I’m just saying…who will stop him? Who CAN stop him?

Hood: A venereal disease, perhaps.

Smith: Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that…folks, we’re halfway through our two showcase matches. We’ve got some cleanup that needs to take place out here before the main event takes place…so, in the meantime, let’s head backstage!

~We cut backstage where Jade Spritz is seen, post Mini-Rumble. She’s talking things over with The Knife Man inside is ‘medic’ office. His mask looks down on her as he nods~

The Knife Man: Why thank you for the compliment, Miss Spritz. But I’m afraid your condition does not call for those types of meds. As an on air professional wrestling medic I cannot, in good faith, give you a stronger than recommended dosage.

Jade Spritz: Oh come on, Knife Man. With those big, strong arms of yours and that giant…knife…who is going to question your authority?

The Knife Man: Why Miss Spritz…are you trying to seduce me?

~Jade tugs at her bottom lip while running her finger along The Knife Man’s arm. The knife in his left hand suddenly rises. He stammers~

The Knife Man: Oh my! I’m so sorry about that!

~He works the knife down, out of view~

The Knife Man: I guess…just this once.

Jade Spritz: You’re the best.

~The Knife Man turns his back to Jade. He starts whistling a catchy tune. We hear a loud BANG and then a body hit the floor. The Knife Man turns around~

The Knife Man: Here you go, Miss Spritz…say, I was wondering, Jade…if I can call you that, if you wouldn’t mind having tea tomorrow…OH GOOD HEAVENS!

~The spots Jade Spritz laid out on his floor. He rushes out the door. He spots PLETHORA walking by with his hands full of Fiji water…no doubt via an urgent request from an agitated Annie Alvarez~

The Knife Man: Was it…YOU?

~Plethora doesn’t speak. He looks into the medic room and sees Jade’s body. He turns and sprints away. We cut back to ringside~

Smith: The attacker strikes again!

Hood: It’s that damn PLETHORA

Smith: You think? His arms looked pretty full…

Hood: THE PERFECT DISGUISE

Smith: Not to mention…he’s Annie’s friend…or bodyguard or…life partner? And, we all saw Annie get attacked last week

Hood: That makes him suspect #1…spend enough time around Annie and you yourself would be clubbing her over the head with blunt objects

Smith: That is RUDE…I’m sure we’ll try and get to the bottom of this next week but Plethroa…a mysterious individual who does what he can to stay out of the spotlight seems to be, well, directly in it

Hood: Could be a GRIM situation for him…but…ya REAP what you sow

Smith: Alright, that’s enough…folks, it’s main event time…no need in hyping this one up…if you’ve paid a modicum of attention to OCW over the years you know exactly what’s at stake. Let’s head down to ringside…

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…it is now time for our MAIN EVENT of the EVENING! This match, scheduled for one fall is for the OCW Paradigm Championship as well as a shot at the OCW Championship!

~All the lights turn off leaving the arena in complete darkness. A voice is heard breaking the silence~

We know now that in the early years of the twentieth century,
This world was being watched closely
By intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own.

~Drums begin to play as the darkness turns into a series of different colored lights that cast designs along the stage, audience and ramp like a kaleidoscope. From the back, MJ Bell walks out with a leather jacket on over her ring gear. She has her head dipped down, hands inside the pockets, as she stops at the mouth of the ramp tapping her foot to the music. MJ smirks, lifting her head up, raising both arms and yelling along with the song~

“Are you coming with me?!”

~Strutting forward the woman keeps her arms up before lowering them halfway down the ramp. Meanwhile the crowd chants “I’ll go,” to the tune of the music. MJ rushes to the ring jumping onto the apron then turning around with a smile. Her arms loop around one of the ropes as she glances about the crowd soaking up their reactions. MJ ducks beneath the ropes with a twist of her body turning into the ring. The chants continue when the question to asked once more. Finally, discarding the jacket she bounces back against a turnbuckle, stretching out each leg~

Belvedere: And their partner, from Paradise, Michigan…standing 5’5 and weighing in at 125lbs…she is a former two time OCW Champion and an OCW Hall of Famer…MJ Bell!!!

~The heavy drums of "Honor Thy Father" beat throughout the arena followed by the distorted guitar riffs as The Incredible One steps out from the behind the curtain to a chorus of boos. He smirks, before walking down the ramp yelling at the fans in attendance, and flipping off every single child he sees. He stops at the bottom of the ramp, examining the ring and the local crowd before quickly rolling into the ring and going to the top of a turnbuckle, proclaiming himself to be the greatest wrestler alive. He gets down and impatiently paces around the ring as his music fades out~

Belvedere: And his opponent, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada…standing 6’2 and weighing in at 235lbs…he is the OCW Paradigm Champion and a member of The Aptitude….The Incredible One!!!

~Scruff steps over to TIO. TIO hands his belt. He doesn’t look at the belt. He doesn’t even look at Scruff…he keeps his eyes on MJ. MJ does her best to ignore his attempt at intimidation. She limbers up – using the ropes for support. Scruff holds the Paradigm Championship in the air, the crowd goes wild. He hands it to Belvedere who, as always, holds it for safe keeping during the match~

Smith: Here we go everybody…last week we saw a brutal main event that some are already calling a candidate for match of the year. This week we will see a far different type of match.

Hood: Fight or fuck, Smith? What’s your prediction?

Smith: I certainly hope it’s FIGHT

Hood: Yea, I might be with you there. MJ is hot as hell but I’m not sure I want to see TIO grinding his way to pleasure peak

Smith: That’s disgusting

~The bell rings…the crowd jumps to their feet and chants “MJ! MJ!” She nods her ORANGE hair to the chants. AIN’T NO ORANGE CAT HEAD IN HURRR! Her hair looks perfect, in other words. She paces the ropes. TIO extends his index finger and curls it forward, motioning for her to come to him. He smiles, “Lay down for me, Madeline. You know you want to.” He motions toward the mat. The fans boo~

Smith: This is so degrading

Hood: Why? The guy is simply asking her a question. I mean, who knows, maybe she’ll lay down for him

Smith: She would NEVER

Hood: I’m just saying, you don’t know unless you ask. If she lays down, he wins…saves them both the energy, pain and us the time.

Smith: And it would rob these fans of a classic match up

~TIO takes his eyes off MJ for a moment. He pats the mat saying, “Look, it’s comfortable. Your back has been on tougher surfaces, trust me, I know.” He laughs…she walks up and slaps him in the face!! TIO stands upright…the jovial demeanor fades. A look of rage washes over…he closes his eyes and breathes in. MJ takes a few steps back. TIO opens his eyes, slowly, “Alright then. Let’s go.” He motions for her to come at him~

Smith: Well that woke him up! That’s what he gets for being an incredible jerk!

Hood: I don’t know, the way I see it she’s being a total bitch. Dude was just asking a question and she goes all Zsa Zsa Gabor on his ass

Smith: How many people do you think will get that reference?

Hood: Hell I don’t even get it!

~MJ sprints full speed at TIO. He throws a clothesline. She ducks…she hits the ropes, she bounces off the middle rope. TIO turns around and MJ kicks him with BURNING MAGE!!! TIO staggers to the side and collapses through the ropes, landing on the floor hard! THE CROWD GOES WILD!! They are jumping up and down chanting for MJ Bell. She’s on one knee…she slowly stands and allows the slightest smile to flash before pulling it away~

Smith: BURNING MAGE! If she gets him in the ring this match could be over right now!

Hood: Fucking fuck fuck! That’s got to be illegal!

Smith: What?

Hood: Hitting a finisher THAT early…fucking illegal move. BRING BACK PLATINUM HAIRED MJ!

~MJ rushes for the ropes, snapping out of the momentary feeling of bliss. She lands next to TIO and grabs his right arm. He’s out. He’s dead weight. MJ struggles getting him up. The crowd chants for the Hall of Famer. They are urging her to get him into the ring~

Smith: That’s two hundred thirty-five pounds of dead weight, Hood

Hood: Don’t remind me…

Smith: Huh?

Hood: Bad Vegas experience…I’ll tell you later.

Smith: I’d rather you didn’t.

~MJ finds energy from the crowd’s support. She gets TIO’s right arm and leg onto the apron…she shoves him under the bottom rope and into the ring! The crowd goes wild! MJ slides in and drags TIO away from the ropes. She covers him…Scruff slides in for the count~

3!!!

NO! Shoulder up!!!

Smith: That was three? That was three!!

Hood: No it wasn’t! TIO got his shoulder up…

Smith: Oh no he didn’t…this match is over!

~MJ looks at Scruff. He shows her two fingers. She shakes her head, the crowd boos~

Smith: Oh come on!!

Hood: Told ya! TIO is the man, NOTHING keeps him down

Smith: Had he not fallen out of the ring and had a five minute break, this match would be over

Hood: Five minutes my ass…you’re such a fucking drama queen

~MJ wants to let her frustration show. She wants to get angry. But she overpowers her impulse and turns her focus back onto the wounded Paradigm Champion. TIO sits up…he reaches instinctively toward the ropes. His hand grasps the middle rope. He gets to his feet…he’s extremely vulnerable. MJ rushes into the nearest corner…she leaps onto the middle buckle and ricochets off for another Burning Mage! TIO catches her and dives into the corner head first! He crushes MJ into the buckles!! TIO rolls out of the ring, still badly wounded while MJ is seated on the mat, the back of her head resting on the bottom buckle~

Smith: I want a replay of that first pin fall…I still think it was a three count.

Hood: Move the fuck on, Smith. Everyone else has!

Smith: Yea…you’re right. Can’t believe I’m saying that…doesn’t matter, the ref’s count is the ref’s count…that’s okay, she’s still got TIO hurt pretty badly.

Hood: Boy, I tell ya…you are a true professional.

Smith: Thanks

Hood: You always call it RIGHT down the middle

~MJ pulls up using the middle rope. He reaches for her back, wincing. He stretches a few times, limbering up. She appears to be fine. TIO’s head pops up over the apron as he’s regaining his footing. MJ spots this and runs into the ropes. TIO backs away from the apron, holding the side of his head. MJ leaps through the ropes like a spear and slams into TIO!! He flies backward against the ramp! He hits with a loud CRASH! MJ gets back to her feet, apparently fine. TIO, reaches for the back of his head~

Smith: MJ Bell throwing caution into the wind in an effort to keep TIO down

Hood: She threw CAUTION into the wind? What, like a tornado or hurricane? Is that where Caution went? That horrible woman! She killed Caution!

Smith: It’s an idiom, Hood

Hood: Who you calling an idiot, jerk off!

~MJ turns her attention to TIO. She stomps on his chest a few times. She then kicks him in the forehead. Whiplash sends the back of his head crashing into the metal ramp! He reaches behind and holds onto the afflicted portion of his skull. Scruff holds off on counting, enjoying the match like a fan. MJ pulls TIO to his feet and drags him toward the ring. She slams him face first into the apron!! TIO slumps to his knees…MJ jumps off the steps and goes for another Burning Mage!! TIO ducks! MJ lands on her feet and throws a mule kick into the side of TIO’s head! He falls over onto his back~

Smith: MJ Bell knows she’s one Burning Mage away from ending this…

Hood: I hope her fucking knee goes out on one of those attempts…she’s trying to turn TIO into a special needs wrestler!

Smith: Can we PLEASE not make fun of the handicapped?

Hood: Who said I was making fun of them? And, by the way, if I were…would they even…

Smith: STOP IT RIGHT THERE

~MJ pulls TIO to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. He slowly rolls in and finds his back, near the center of the ring. MJ hops onto the apron and jumps onto the top rope…she springs off with a leg drop! She quickly transitions into a pin, Scruff slides in for the count~

Kick Out!!

Smith: Close but not quite

Hood: How tough is TIO? Now that’s a REAL man, Smith

Smith: I’d calm down if I were you…he’s nowhere close to winning this match…he’s been dominated from the start.

Hood: I think he just feels bad for turning MJ Bell into a submissive creature. He’s trying to boost her self-esteem tonight before he beats her with a sunset flip or something

Smith: This match will not end with a sunset flip

Hood: How do you know? You act like you are scripting this entire thing!

~MJ pops back to her feet…she’s looking strong. TIO rolls over onto all fours. MJ throws a couple of flush kicks into his midsection. He finally rolls onto his back, holding his stomach in pain. MJ takes a few steps back and rushes in…she jumps high into the air and brings a knee crashing down into TIO’s chest! He sits up, coughing…his eyes bulge out from the impact~

Smith: That could collapse a man’s chest…or maybe a lung…what a….

Hood: Bitchy ass move! That woman is a horrible human being!

Smith: I was gonna say smart…tactical. It cut off his air supply and he simply cannot win a match of this magnitude without a full reserve of oxygen.

Hood: Your hate for incredible things is bothersome, Smith

~MJ grabs TIO by the hair and yanks him to his feet. She whips him into a corner. He hits hard…she charges in and smacks TIO in the chin with a forearm uppercut. She takes off running into the ropes. TIO staggers out of the corner…MJ bounces off the ropes and jumps at TIO…she’s going for a hurricanrana…TIO holds on, keeping MJ from flipping him over. He pulls MJ back up and powerbombs her into the mat!! The fans boo. MJ rolls around, in pain. TIO falls from a seated position onto his back…he’s still very much wounded~

Smith: Dang it! C’mon, MJ! You’ve got to get up and stay on top of him

Hood: Oh she’s got no problem doing that

Smith: So you have been paying attention…watching her take it to him

Hood: Hey, whatever you want to call it, bro. Take it to him…staying on top of him…the fact remains MJ can’t shake that lust for TIO

Smith: Stop it!

~MJ staggers to her feet…the powerbomb had a far more negative impact on her than the corner smash. She leans into the ropes. TIO starts to emerge. He gets to his feet. He sees MJ on the ropes. He runs at her…she bounces off the ropes upon seeing him charging…she greets him in the middle of the ring with a Sling Blade!!! TIO hits the mat hard! MJ remains seated as the fans begin to stomp their feet and cheer her on~

Smith: Alright! Great counter by MJ

Hood: Ugh, this is BORING…we need some of that killer TIO offense

Smith: It’s a competition, Hood. If MJ dominates and wins, that’s just how it goes.

Hood: Let me see if there’s like an Aptitude signal app or something that I can download on my phone…shine the symbol into the rafters to get their attention. WE NEED HELP OUT HERE

~MJ returns to her feet…she hustles into a corner. TIO reaches his feet…he stumbles around. He turns, facing MJ who is perched at the top. MJ leaps off with double knees into TIO’s chest and shoulders…she takes him down, slamming TIO’s body into the mat!! TIO hits hard. MJ pops back to her feet…she runs into the ropes, leaps onto the middle rope and jumps off with a moon sault!! She connects!! She covers TIO as Scruff slides in for the count…the crowd counts along~

Shoulder up!!!

Smith: Sooooo close!

Hood: Holy fucking shit…I need that app! APTITUDE ASSEMBLE!

Smith: No such app exists

Hood: Well that’s pretty fucking homosexual

~MJ hops back to her feet. She’s feeding off the energy of the crowd. TIO rolls onto all fours…MJ helps him to his feet. She kicks him in the ribs. She kicks him in the knee. He staggers…she delivers a roundhouse kick to the side of his head. He stumbles, nearly falling over. She reaches up and clutches the back of his head, administering a clinch. She lifts a jumping knee into his face! He falls over onto his back! The arena is shaking with “MJ! MJ!” chants~

Smith: TIO is done! She’s worn him down to nothing…the Burning Mage is moments away!

Hood: Well this fucking sucks

Smith: I think it’s wonderful…the orange haired MJ is back!

Hood: BOOOO

~TIO works his way back to his feet. You have to admire his cyborg like tendency to always get up. MJ runs for the ropes…she jumps onto the middle rope and leaps off for the Burning Mage! She throws the kick at TIO’s head…he ducks!! She whips and falls face first into the mat. She rolls over…TIO stumbles over her. She kicks at him from her back. He grabs her right leg. She throws her left leg…he grabs that one…he backs up near the ropes…he leans back and catapults MJ through the air, over the ropes! Her feet clip the top rope and she tumbles downward. The back of her head and neck SLAM into the apron! She whips over and her hip and legs crash into the ground!! She winds up wrecked on the floor with half her body under the ring. The fans gasp in horror at the terrible fall~

Smith: Oh no…

Hood: Geezus…that was like watching one of those unlucky bastards falling off the Titanic and hitting the propeller

Smith: I hope she’s okay

Hood: Meh, I could take it or leave it

~TIO, upon catapulting MJ out of the ring, fell back into the ropes. He’s leaning with his ass over the middle rope and arms draped over the top. He hears the reaction from the fans, along with the sickening thud and smack of MJ’s fall. He looks over his shoulder and sees the disheveled body of MJ. His eyes are heavy, he’s punch drunk. But, he manages to smile. He leans back and uses the force from the ropes to sway him upright. He staggers around the ring with the smile growing in width. The fans boo vociferously~

Smith: What a sick individual to find pleasure in a fall that heinous

Hood: It’s not his fault MJ is dating a Japanese guy

Smith: What does THAT have to do with anything?

Hood: The word Kamikaze is Japanese, right?

Smith: Ah geez

~TIO heads toward the ropes…he drops to the mat and rolls outside the ring. He struggles to his feet off the apron. He inhales, deeply, gathering his equilibrium. He reaches down and grabs MJ by her leg…he drags her out from under the ring apron. He drops her leg and reaches for her orange hair…he grabs a handful of it and yanks MJ to her feet…nearly falls over once or twice. TIO runs his hand down his face, wiping the sweat away. He shakes his head, continuing to fight off the effects from MJ’s onslaught. He then reaches back and slaps the shit out of MJ’s face! The impact results in a loud ‘CRACK!’ MJ’s body jerks violently to the left and she tumbles to the mat. TIO looks at the palm of his hand as it begins to redden. The fans all throughout the arena boo~

Smith: How dare he!

Hood: What are you talking about? Isn’t this physical competition? Should we bring back the women’s division?

Smith: That’s not what I’m saying…he’s just…it’s just…the way he does it…

Hood: Like a BOSS, right?

Smith: It’s so demeaning

~TIO feeds off their hatred. He looks around and nods saying, “You want more? Okay, I’ll give you more.” He pulls MJ back to her feet…the right side of her face that was struck moments ago is red and irritated. TIO aggressively yanks back on her hair with his left hand…he reaches across his body with his right hand and then slashes forward, backhanding MJ viciously across the left side of her face!! She slams into the ground. A few fans look like they want to jump the railing. Security rushes over to keep them on the ‘safe’ side of the barricade. TIO laughs to himself and walks around a bit, moving his legs around…he’s beginning to regain his full range of movement~

Smith: It’s like he’s feeding off this abuse

Hood: We all have our addictions, Smith.

Smith: Yea, well TIO seems to have more than one

Hood: A man of many different tastes!

Smith: I just wish…if he were so darn good…so dang dominant…just pin her already. Why make a spectacle out of this?

Hood: To prove a point…first of all, that he’s always been superior to MJ. And, second, that his daughter doesn’t need to be a fan of LOSERS. She’s young…impressionable…if she starts liking people like MJ Bell…next thing you know she’s turning tricks for some guy named Darryl on the corner of Ho and Bag.

Smith: You are a spiteful person

~TIO takes both hands…he reaches down, yanks MJ by the hair and pulls her to her feet once again. He looks at her face…both cheeks are flush with irritation from being impacted. TIO yells in her face. The fans continue to boo…it’s getting pretty rowdy around ringside. Security seems a little on edge. TIO knees MJ in the gut. She tries to go to the mat but he won’t let go of her hair. He yells at a few fans near the ring, including a young MJ fan. She’s got her hair dyed orange just like her favorite wrestler. He points at the girl, then at MJ and yells, “YOU NEED A BETTER INFLUENCE!” He grabs MJ by the waist of her pants, holds onto her hair and then heaves her like a sack of trash into the steps. She flips over and her back SLAMS into the steps. She falls onto her head and neck…she’s upside down, with her legs draped over her face. The fans boo as the young MJ Bell fan begins to cry. Her parents are forced to escort her away from her seat~

Smith: That poor fan…we should give her some free tickets or an MJ Bell shirt perhaps

Hood: Oh, right…because that will set a great example. Let the little brat know that if she cries she’ll get a gift.

Smith: She was traumatized by TIO!

Hood: Hey, it’s life, she’d better get used to it. He just taught her a better lesson than her parents ever have…I can guarantee you that.

Smith: And how would you know anything about their parenting

Hood: Well, for starters….they’ve allowed her to grow up an MJ Bell fan. I mean, I think that pretty much says it all…plus, I think I saw her stealing a bag of nacho chips from concession when Tony the Spider wasn’t looking

Smith: YOU DID NOT

~TIO nods with satisfaction. He’s ruined a fan’s evening…that, for him, is second ONLY to winning the match. He pulls MJ to her feet…he hoists her onto his shoulders…he then drops her onto the apron with an FU. MJ hits hard, arching her back, slightly. TIO climbs onto the apron. He pulls MJ back to her feet and hoists her onto his shoulders once more…he tosses her over the top rope back into the ring with a second FU! She hits twice as hard. Her body isn’t moving. TIO steps through the ropes and he covers MJ. Scruff slides in for the pin~

SHOULDER UP!

Smith: What resiliency! What heart!

Hood: What a JOKE

Smith: We’re seeing the championship spirit we came to know and respect from MJ Bell in 2014…we’re seeing the old MJ Bell!

Hood: The old MJ Bell would have already handed this match over to TIO by now…this is some new MJ Bell and I don’t like it.

~TIO pie faces Scruff in an almost playful manner. It’s quite disrespectful, in actuality. He’s being passive aggressive. TIO reaches his feet and he brings MJ along. He sets her up in front of a corner and then blasts her in the chest with a double handed push. She flies into the corner with tremendous velocity. TIO reaches in to keep her from falling…he pushes back under her chin and then process to deliver a sequence of knife edged chops. The crowd winces and cringes as each one does increased damage to the upper chest of MJ~

Smith: Vicious chops…those hurt worse than people think

Hood: So they are like paper cuts

Smith: They hurt a little more than a paper cut

Hood: I don’t know man, you ever been cut by cardboard? That’s a SERIOUS burn

~TIO delivers one final knife edged chop. MJ leans forward, into his body. He smiles and says something along the lines of, “Just can’t keep your hands off me.” He wraps his arms around her, lifts her up and drills MJ into the mat with a belly to belly suplex. TIO pops back to his feet and he kicks MJ onto her stomach. He hooks her around the waist…dead lifts the hall of famer up and over his head with a German Suplex! He bridges into a pin…Scruff slides in for the count~

KICK OUT!

Smith: Unbelievable…this woman embodies the fighting spirit that OCW is all about

Hood: This isn’t funny anymore Orange MJ! Do your job! Which is, to say…do THE job.

Smith: That’s not happening, Hood

Hood: The fuck is with women these days? Always stepping out of line and acting like they should be winning stuff. It drives me insane!

~TIO rolls onto his knees after MJ kicks out and grabs Scruff by the chin…this time it’s not so jovial…not so disrespectful. This time it’s frightening. He locks eyes with Scruff. He doesn’t say anything. A look is all that’s necessary to transfer the message. Count Faster. TIO releases Scruff from his grip and kicks at MJ’s body. She’s broken…she’s battered…she’s all but beaten. He yanks MJ to her feet and puts his arm around her…he caresses her orange hair a bit before slinging them both back violently. He drops MJ with a Russian Leg Sweep! TIO rolls over and pops back to his feet…he extends his arms to a thunderous ovation of boos~

Smith: Yea, enjoy yourself you sick, sick deviant! I hope she kicks you right in the face!

Hood: You’ve got to be conscious to kick…or well, perform the Flaming Booby

Smith: IT’S THE BURNING MAGE

Hood: Well excuuuuse me…but I do recognize that as a trademark maneuver of TIO’s…the Russian leg sweep thingamajig

Smith: That’s good, I suppose

Hood: Yep, I’ve got his bio pulled up on my laptop. I love the added kick in the balls of how he’s performing it to Kenshin, haha

Smith: That’s not Kenshin

Hood: Are you sure? He looks pretty Keshiny to me

Smith: We are not going to have a conversation about Japanese people looking alike

Hood: YOU SAID IT…not me

~TIO smirks and laughs a little at the crowd’s reaction. He turns his attention down toward MJ. He pulls her back to her feet. He jerks back on her hair, exposing her face. He yells, “It’s OVER, Madeline! It’s over.” He leans in and plants a big, nasty, sweaty kiss on her lips. He knees her in the gut and hooks her between his legs. He lifts her high into the air and drills her into the mat with YOU’RE INCREDIBLE FUCKED!! MJ’s body is broken. TIO returns to his feet. The crowd is mostly silent. The destruction of MJ Bell has left them in a somber mood. TIO drops to his knees…he looks down at MJ. He rolls over into a seated position and leans back on her body like a person would relax on a park bench. Scruff slides in and makes the count~

3!!!!

….

SHOULDER UP!

Smith: Are you…are you kidding me?! Did she…

Hood: NO way…NO WAY…that was three!

Smith: Nuh-uh…that was two and three quarters…JUST like that pin fall earlier

Hood: Bull fucking SHIT…REPLAY…we need a REPLAY

~TIO looks at Scruff…he can’t believe the match isn’t over. He extends his hands, bewildered, confused. Scruff simply responds with a peace sign…or, well, two fingers. TIO grits his teeth…he rolls over and hooks one leg. Scruff slides in for the count~

Kick Out!

Smith: Nope…still not a three count

Hood: Do it again TIO! Hook both legs this time!

~As if on cue, TIO hooks BOTH MJ’s legs, Scruff, still on his knees, makes the count~

Kick Out!!!

Smith: She REFUSES to lose to this man

Hood: Son of a fucking bitch…I still demand a replay of that first pin fall. I KNOW Scruff’s hand hit three times

Smith: Too late now, Hood…he should have covered her with more respect

~TIO rises to his knees. He looks down at MJ. He’s not furious or arrogant…he’s stunned. He can’t believe she’s still in the match. He looks around. The fans are changing “MJ! MJ!” He runs his fingers through his sweat soaked hair. He stands and places his hands on his hips. He looks to the nearest corner~

Smith: Is TIO doubting himself? Is he beginning to wonder if he can defeat MJ Bell?

Hood: Dude, relax…the guy is just catching a breather…calculating his next move of devastation

Smith: That looks like a man suffering from doubt…and what is he looking at the corner for…that is an area completely out of his realm.

Hood: Yea, the guy does hate heights…in fact, has he ever performed a move from the top?

Smith: Not to my recollection…BIFFORD is more of an aerial artist than TIO

Hood: Shit…desperate times, perhaps

~TIO swallows a rough batch of saliva. He trudges ahead, toward a corner. The crowd quiets down. They can’t believe what they are seeing. TIO steps through the ropes and places a foot on the middle buckle bar. He slowly lifts up…placing his second foot on the middle bar. He holds onto the top buckle and steadies himself. His breathing has quickened, he’s shaking with nerves. He closes his eyes and lifts his right foot onto the top buckle bar…he shakes, nearly losing his grip. He steadies and does some kind of breathing exercise~

Smith: He really needs to get down from there…he’s paralyzed with fear. He’s going to hurt himself!

Hood: That damn corner isn’t sturdy enough…they rigged it so only MJ could climb up there!

Smith: His shaking appendages have nothing to do with the stability of our corner

Hood: I won’t believe anything that comes out of your slutty mouth…in the words of Dr Orange…FAKE NEWS

~He lifts his second leg up. His face tightens. It finds it’s trip on the top bar and TIO manages to shift his balance appropriately. He’s now standing atop the corner! He slowly gets upright. He’s sweating bullets. His face seems somewhat pale…pallid…he’s corpse like with fright. He looks down at MJ. She hasn’t moved. The fans rise with anticipation. TIO breathes once…he breathes twice…he bends at the knees and he leaps off the top~

Smith: I can’t believe it!

Hood: Holy shit…he’s actually kind of fucking graceful…I mean, I wouldn’t recommend he EVER do this again..but…ya know

Smith: Just shut up and watch the move

~TIO soars through the air. There’s no denying his athleticism. He flips over, backwards…he does a full rotation and slams on top of MJ Bell with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! The crowd pops…shocked to see him perform such a move and flawlessly…at that. TIO grabs his stomach and rolls of MJ for a second. He’s hyperventilating. He nearly throws up. He gets over the initial shock and crawls on top of MJ. Scruff slides in for the count~

3…

NO! SHOULDER UP!!

Smith: WOWWW

Hood: What the fuck? Is there like some kind of electronic mechanism in her shoulder…is Kenshin pressing a button backstage that makes it spasm off the mat? This is fucking nuts!

Smith: It’s all heart, Hood. She can’t lose to TIO

~TIO sits up. He’s got that same look from last week when Kenshin arrived. He slides away from MJ and into a corner. He rips at his hair. He’s in total shock~

Smith: Look at him…he knows he can’t win this match. He can’t beat Madeline June…he can’t beat MJ Bell.

Hood: WE NEED HELP OUT HERE

~As if on cue CJ O’Donnell and Matt Meyhu make their way down to the ring. Both men are still in their ring gear but appear to be in solid shape considering what they went through nearly an hour earlier. They are without their belts. O’Donnell heads to the left, Meyhu to the right. BOOOO is the resounding noise throughout the arena. CJ sneaks up behind TIO and slaps him on the back, giving him words of encouragement. MJ finally moves…she rolls onto her stomach. TIO nods, listening to CJ. Meyhu places his hands on the apron as he peers in through the ropes, watching MJ~

Smith: This isn’t fair! Get these two jerks out of here!

Hood: Hey man…strength in numbers. It’s all about survival. She picked the Clientele and, well, she lost.

~The crowd goes WILD! Kenshin Takamura and Jacqui Monroe rush down the ramp way. Jacquie leaps through the air and takes CJ down, into the barricade. She’s all over him with kicks, punches, scrapes…she’s like a feral beast. Kenshin hops over the steps and drills Meyhu with a forearm into the side of the head. Meyhu staggers…he responds with a punch to Kenshin. The two pro wrestling stars are in an all-out brawl as the crowd goes wild~

Smith: It’s Tokyo Knives! They are here to watch MJ’s back!

Hood: Cheating douche bags…that damn Kenshin! Never trust a man whose name sounds like a room Colonel Mustard murdered somebody in

Smith: They are just evening out the odds!

~CJ is able to fight Jacqui off, somewhat. She leaps onto his back, after he’s reached his feet. He pulls at her hair, trying to get her off. She falls to the ramp. He turns around…she pops back up and superkicks him in the face. He staggers up the ramp. She lunges forward with kicks and punches. They disappear through the curtain. Meyhu and Kenshin, meanwhile spill over the barricade and into the crowd. They brawl up through the crowd, toward one of the exits, finally disappearing from sight. The crowd is going wild, enjoying the impromptu altercation~

Smith: Thank you Tokyo Knives! They have just leveled the playing field

Hood: Fucking cheaters…who invited them, anyway?!

Smith: Aptitude had NO right coming down…what’s fair is fair

Hood: Unless it’s unfair

Smith: Whatever

~TIO reaches his feet. He’s stabilizing. MJ is on all fours, coughing. TIO kicks her in the ribs, soccer style. She flips onto her back. He yanks her to her feet by the hair and hoists her over his shoulder like he’s going to deliver a powerslam. He points at the corner and runs…MJ’s legs wiggle. TIO slows down…he bends back…MJ hooks TIO’s head and she lands on her feet with TIO on his knees, bending backwards…she’s got him locked in Rest for the Wicked (Dragon Sleeper)! TIO waves his arms around, frantically. The crowd is re-energized…they see their Hall of Fame Heroine back in control~

Smith: She’s going to choke him out…shut him up! Finally!

Hood: Aww fuck…how in the hell…damnit…

Smith: Are you malfunctioning?

Hood: It’s just…the all Aptitude OCW Title match was IN THE BAG…and now THIS shit

~TIO is fading. His arms are dangling. The fans are yelling “OUT! OUT! OUT!” MJ continues to crank back, attempting to completely crush his wind pipe. Scruff grabs his arm…he lifts it up. It falls…the crowd yells “ONE!” He lifts it up again…and, again, it falls…the crowd yells “TWO!!”~

Smith: Once more and this is OVER

Hood: What an incredible disappointment

~Scruff lifts TIO’s arm for a third time…if it drops, MJ wins. He lets it go…it falls…the crowd erupts!! But Scruff freezes…TIO’s arm stops INCHES from hitting the mat. MJ pulls back harder, trying to kill him, apparently. TIO’s arm shakes as he’s receiving a rush of adrenaline. The crowd yells to encourage MJ. TIO screams…he gets to one knee. MJ closes her eyes…her face tightens…she’s applying as much pressure as she can. TIO stands up!! MJ is parallel to the mat…TIO stumbles toward the corner and he falls…as he does, MJ SLAMS face first into the buckle with snake eyes!!! She snaps back and lands in the middle of the ring, staring up at the lights. TIO is down, face first…neither competitor is moving. Scruff looks around…he yells “ONE!”~

Smith: That could have injured MJ’s neck!

Hood: Let’s hope so

Smith: WHAT?

Hood: Hey, you said injured…not like I’m hoping she has a broken freakin neck

Smith: Even an injury, no matter how small, is a terrible thing to wish on a person…especially someone as lovely as MJ Bell

Hood: Your bedroom walls are covered with MJ photos…aren’t they?

Smith: No comment!

~Scruff yells “FIVE!” MJ starts to move. She reaches her knees and crawls for the ropes. She gets to her feet…Scruff ends the count. TIO is still motionless. MJ stumbles toward him…both competitors are running on empty. She grabs TIO’s foot and starts to drag him toward the center of the ring. Once they reach the center TIO FLIPS around…he takes both feet and presses them into the chest of a stunned, tired MJ Bell. He kicks as hard as she can…she flies through the air, slamming into the corner!! The crowd boos as TIO stumbles to his feet…his hands are clenched, his arms are flexed, he’s breathing heavily, digging deep for a big finish~

Smith: He was playing possum!

Hood: Smart man

Smith: C’mon, MJ! You’ve got this…you can figure something out

Hood: Nah, TIO is going to CRUSH her

~TIO charges in…he jumps into the air for a splash! MJ moves!! TIO slams into the corner. MJ sprints across the ring…she runs up the buckles in the opposite corner, reaching the top. TIO turns around and stumbles into the center of the ring. MJ leaps off the top with a Burning Mage!! TIO CATCHES HER! She’s in position for YOU’RE INCREDIBLE FUCKED! MJ takes both hands and slaps them against TIO’s ears!! His equilibrium is rattled…she lunges over his head and slides down his back…she tries to pull him into a pin…her legs kick wildly…TIO drops to his knees, he grabs both of MJ’s legs and leans forward, pinning MJ with her knees next to her ears. Scruff flies in for the count~

3!!!!

~MJ kicks out right after three!! TIO rolls over and out of the ring. MJ sits up, she’s shocked. Her orange hair is soaked with sweat…she runs her fingers through it, slicking it back. She looks over at TIO. TIO falls into the barricade, he’s hyperventilating, breathing heavily…he’s shocked~

Belvedere: Here is your winner…the #1 Contender for the OCW Championship…AND STILL OCW PARADIGM CHAMPION…THE INCREDIBLE ONE!!!!!

Smith: This night STINKS

Hood: Hell yes!! What a match!

Smith: It was a great match

Hood: Fucking Aptitude has taken over this BEYOTCH

Smith: I need a Mike’s hard lemonade

Hood: Fucking nerd

~MJ looks at TIO and shakes her head. She rolls onto her back. OCW officials slide into the ring. They check on her…they place a pack of ice on the back of her neck. TIO is helped by officials as well. He takes his Paradigm Championship and exits the ringside area…he walks up the ramp with an ice pack on the back of his neck as well~

Smith: A grueling affair…both competitors should be proud…regardless of how it ended.

Hood: Matt Meyhu versus The Incredible One for the OCW Title…as Walter White is my witness…that might be the greatest night of my life

Smith: You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t share that hyperbolic sentiment

Hood: I need a cigarette…it was THAT good

Smith: Ladies and Gentlemen…we’ve seen two epic matches tonight. The foundation of OCW belongs to The Aptitude, at the moment.

Hood: Cream rises to the top…Meyhu, TIO, O’Donnell…those three are BAUCE

Smith: The OCW originals are taking it on the chin in 2017 and tonight…for some reason, feels like the darkest of nights. Where do we go from here? Who will rise up to challenge these deplorable human beings?

~We see MJ somewhat emotional in the ring. She’s not hysterical or anything, just deeply disappointed. She slides out of the ring. OCW officials try to help but she brushes them off…she keeps the pack on her neck and slowly walks up the ramp. We fade to black~