LIVE! January 9th 2023
FROM The OCW Arena
In Key West, Florida
~COLD OPEN. Backstage we see OCW Creator, Dean! The fans go wild! Dean is watching as The Knife Man, AKB, Caps Lock, and several other OCW employees take turns carrying boxes labeled “STRADER” out of the building~
Dean: Let’s go, suckas! Chop, chop! Stay busy, I ain’t payin you sucks to drag ass!
AKB: But we aren’t getting paid!
Dean: The hell you aren’t? You see those vending machines inside? I lowered every item by 10% for you suckas.
~They all groan. Dean’s phone rings~
Dean: WHAT’S UP SUCKA
~Dean nods~
Dean: I can dig that, sucka. Wish you could’ve made it out here tonight but training for that big comeback is more important. See ya next week.
~Dean flips his phone shut and stares at all the employees who have stopped working to look his way~
Dean: LET’S GO, SUCKAS!
~The OCW employees disappear down a hallway. Dean stands, waiting for them to return. Instead, he hears expensive shoes clicking and clacking against the tiled floor. With a furrowed brow, Dean leans forward, curious. A shadow appears against a wall...it sports long, slightly untamed hair and a very thick mustache~
Dean: What the…
~The shadow narrows and shrinks as the figure approaches. It turns a corner and BOOM! (sorry, Vicky) Lou Pohl appears! Dean’s posture stiffens. His expression hardens~
Dean: I’m too busy to…
~Lou responds by showing Dean a contract. It appears to be a proof of sale...OCW transferring ownership from one owner to another...~
Dean: Is this some kinda joke, sucka?
~Lou scratches his stache and looks off to the side, shielding a smirk~
Lou Pohl: No. A joke would be that letter of intent you had negotiated with the quitter. It’s non-binding, as I’m sure you’re aware...hence all the ducking and dodging you did at the press conference a few weeks ago. What this is is an ironclad contract and proof of purchase.
~Dean frantically scans the paperwork~
Lou Pohl: In other words. OCW has a new owner and it ain’t you, sucka.
~Dean’s anger rises. Before he can get physical security rushes in, grabbing the creator of OCW and dragging him away. Lou wipes his hands clean before picking up the paperwork. The crew Dean had removing Strader stuff return. Lou sees them and then he sees the room full of Strader stuff~
AKB: Do we have to keep hauling this stuff out?
Lou Pohl: Nah. New owner doesn’t want you guys carrying it out.
~A sigh of relief from the tired employees. Lou tosses AKB a match and lighter~
Lou Pohl: He said burn it. Burn it all.
~Lou’s shoes click and clack against the tile as he whistles a catchy tune leaving the work in the shaky hands of OCW’s crew of vagabonds. We slowly fade out and into the OCW Arena! The fans are BOOING! They are apoplectic over what they’ve just witnessed~
Smith: An ominous start to 2023, folks! Lou Pohl just, well, he just…
Hood: Fucked up everyone’s Christmas!
Smith: Christmas is over, Hood.
Hood: Okay, fine, he just fucked up everyone’s new year!
Smith: He certainly ruined Dean’s. It appears as though Dean’s announcement was a bit premature as another party has swooped in and snatched OCW right out from under him.
Hood: Sucks, sucka.
Smith: And our new owner’s first act...to authorize a massive burning BACKSTAGE.
Hood: Oh, it’ll be fine.
Smith: I have my doubts. Regardless...we have a new owner and…
~Belvedere’s throat clears. The crowd starts to quiet. He clears it again~
Smith: Uh oh, Hood! Belvedere is about to speak!
Hood: I have a feeling we’re about to meet our new owner.
Smith: To ringside!
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen…
~The booing continues, at about half its earlier level. Like a true pro, Belvedere powers forward~
Belvedere: Allow me to introduce OCW’s NEW OWNER!
~The booing rises, nearly doubling its previous high~
~GOLD by The Beaches hits as OCW fans look around confused until the BOLD text of ADI GOLD appears on the screen. Adi struts out behind the curtain in a sparkly golden gown fitting for a movie premiere or award show. Adi elegantly walks down to the ring. She waves to the fans as she heads down but still doesn’t touch them. Getting in the ring. She stands in the center of the ring letting it all sink in. Belvedere hands her the microphone. ~
Hood: My god what an entrance!
Smith: Truly amazing!
Hood: I give it FIVE bags of milk!
Adi Gold: Hello to all my GOLD-geous sweet peas here in OCW!! For those who have been living under a crab shell and aren’t familiar with me. Let me explain who I am. I am Adi Gold. I was once a manager and wrestler in this business. But sadly that is not what I am known for. Since creating the OCW Television Network years ago. I’ve kind of become a big deal. Sure… some may just think of me as the ‘cute jobber wrestler who dated the previous OCW owner Thaddeus Duke for about 6 months’. Which is all true. And I adore Thad. I really do. We have had our troubled times. But I feel we are both in better places. He is with the reigning OCW Paradigm Champion, the amazing Sahara. He is a HALL OF FAMER material in… some other dog shit mountain… He has done some great things. Including being owner of OCW for most of the year…and then he…
Smith: She is apparently a fan of our former owner, Hood. Sounds like they dated.
Hood: They did more than date, Smith. He tried to get her to have a threesome with him and that Ian Dream kid. At least, that’s what the homeless people around the arena were gossiping about back in the day.
Smith: Oy vey!
Hood: Yea, crazy. Also heard that Jason Cashe...
Smith: That’s enough! Let’s listen to our new owner!
Adi Gold:.. Jumped ship? Parachuted out of the plane? Ran away from the fire? Whatever excuses he may have. That’s between him and himself. But the point is… Thad is GONE! The Golden Phone owner is no more. Well… there’s a new GOLD holding the phone. Me. Adi Gold. So I talked to my wonderfully rich father. He owns a Kosher Meat Factory in Newfoundland by the way. Great non-kosher ham. Oh, and of course I talked with Mr. Lou Pohl while my mother was out shopping. Hmm? Nevermind that. So I put some money together from OCW TV and threw my name in the hat as a potential OCW owner… and… Here. We. Are.
Smith: Adi Gold consulting with Lou Pohl?
Hood: She ‘talked’ with Lou while her mother was out ‘shopping’...sounds to me like Lou banged her mom.
Smith: Now how did you come to that conclusion?
Hood: Science.
Adi Gold: Yes. I am the OWNER of OCW! And I am going to do lot’s of things differently than ol’ Thaddy Boy did. Sure I come off as a wee bit ‘wacky’ at times. But not anymore. 100% serious business from here and out. But hey! That doesn’t mean we can’t have a little F. U. N! But here’s the catch… while I have been in the wrestling business for a handful of years now. It’s not really my THANG if you follow. I’ll help pay the bills. Direct OCW staff and talent like they were Billy Zane being directed by Jimmy Cam’ into the biggest movie of all time… well followed by Avatar of course. Curt Canon linked me to that movie trailer once. Looks good. So while I am doing that… I need someone to take care of the ‘rassling side of things. So I looked up a few names for help. Eastern European? Turns out he may or may not be dead on a raft somewhere. Le Big Mack O’Connor? He probably has been anally raped by some other prisoner by now. And then I found the right man for the job… so ladies and gentlemen… please welcome my new partner in crime running this doo-hickey…. MARCUS WELSH!!!
~The crowd boos!!! You can hear several fans scream out ‘OH NO NOT THIS GUY AGAIN!’ We quickly cut backstage where Zybala is trying to purchase a TWIX candy from the vending machine…it’s about to fall out until Welsh is announced as the new owner. The metal coil GRIPS the candy and keeps it from falling, VETOING Mike’s purchase. Zybala turns his right hand into a fist, shakes it and says, “Classic Welsh.” Meanwhile, “Obsession” starts to play as the former Owner, GM, and eternal Vetoer himself, Marcus Welsh steps out from behind the curtain. The booing continues. Adi claps, acting like the fans are going wild. Welsh makes his way down the ramp, he hustles up the steps and enters into the ring. Welsh and Adi hug to MORE BOOING. There hasn’t been this much booing since OCW’s last Spooky Ghost Match. Welsh is handed the mic…his music dies out and he starts to speak~
Marcus Welsh: Thank you, Adi. And thank you, OCW.
~BOOOOO~
Smith: Well, I think we all know what to expect from this point forward.
Hood: The greatest decisions ever made in the history of professional wrestling.
Smith: Which ultimately lead to an innocent man being left to die on an island.
Hood: I’m so glad Welsh is back.
Smith: I’m not.
~Welsh glares at Smith. His eyes seem to say “Shut up or you’re going back on that island.” Smith shuts up~
Marcus Welsh: Truth be told, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a woman’s father buy me something…but, hey, whatever works. So I hope you all enjoyed and/or survived the reign of Fad and subsequent booking of Strader which wasn’t in any way, shape, or form biased toward any person who may or may not have had an affiliation with a certain biker who died because he realized he was fucking a Strader.
~Welsh gets a message~
Marcus Welsh: But yea, congrats on surviving the worst six month stretch in company history. Yes, worse than the pink and purple forums. Yes, worse than Omega. And, yes…worse than Ana Archia as champion. You’ve all been hardened…
~Several men in the crowd yell out “ROCK HARD, BABY!” as they inch closer toward whatever female is near them~
Marcus Welsh: Sorry, bad ACTION VERB USAGE. You’ve all been battle tested, dealing with the whiny, thin skinned bullshit those two force fed you since the end of summer. But, fear not, for I am back and CLASSIC OCW will, once again, tickle all of your fancies.
~We hear a ‘YOOHOO’ from off screen. Marcus turns and sees Greg waving from behind the curtain~
Marcus Welsh: Yes, and Greg is back, too. Fun fact, Fad tried to hook Greg into a fifteensome but my Greggers held firm. He’s a monogamous man. Oh, and on that note, Miss Gold…you’ll never have to worry about being offered invitations to any lame New Years parties or massive orgies and I’ll never, ever, tell you you can claim we had sex just to help your rep…even though it totally would.
~Adi rolls her eyes at Greg and Welsh making the ‘finger in hole’ hand gesture. Followed by a thumbs down.~
Adi Gold: Threeways, Sixways, Fifteenways… all overrated by the way. Thad suggested it once upon a time… let’s just say I wasn’t into it. Not a DREAM of mine, if you will. But let’s try and keep it a little more Parental Guidance here gang. I think the Fish Heads kids combo is in talks for a sponsor. So let’s keep it chill… back to you Marcus.
~Wow, thanks for that Adi. It’s almost as if that’s a cue…like we’re doing this on some internet document or something~
Marcus Welsh: You got it, boss. So, enough with the cheap shots, even if they feel oh-so good to take. Let’s get down to business. I’m not here to re-invent the wheel or anything. Hell, I’m not even going to change the four events Dean laid out last month. They sound like good ideas and I’ve always subscribed to the theory that the smartest business men are the ones who steal genius ideas from those who are unable to put them into action. So those four events will go on as planned.
~Not really sure what to put here so everyone just takes a breath until Welsh begins speaking again~
Marcus Welsh: Which means that our Pay Per View event this month will be Decadence. It’ll take place right here in the OCW Arena. It’ll be a five match event. It’ll also be a celebration…a celebration of 2022 as the Yearly Awards will be announced DURING the event. You see, Strader gave me her awards but I promptly lit them on fire and tossed them on the ground. I threw them down as hard as I could. We don’t need Outcast, Mike Mason, and Outcast’s kid winning all the awards. So, I’ve come up with yearly awards of my own and, well, there’s one thing you can rest assured of…Zybala won’t be winning any of them.
~Welsh shrugs~
Marcus Welsh: Okay, maybe he might win one. We’ll see all four titles defended. We’ll have an opening match featuring a bunch of people doing weird things for a prize of some kind. It’ll be awesome. Most of the card APPEARS to be set…given the results of last week’s event. Except for the Main Event. We need a challenger for PIC. Now I’ve been away and when I say away I mean AWAY. So I’m not sure who is deserving and who isn’t. Therefore, I found Leo’s LIST of five wrestlers most deserving of a title shot. Harmon Egan, Nickleman, Thunder Knuckles, Sahara, and Crash Rodriguez. I plan to interview all five as the evening goes on before making a decision at the end of tonight’s broadcast…I will select the most deserving wrestler to face PIC for the OCW Championship in the main event of Decadence TONIGHT.
~Solid POP from the fans~
Marcus Welsh: There ya go. Cheer me, you hateful people. Alright…Miss Gold, I’m sure you have other stuff to tend to. So why don’t you head on out of here and I’ll run things as I see fit.
~Adi laughs as she gently gives Welsh a few jabs to his midsection. Maybe even below the midsection.~
Adi Gold: You know what? I’m cool. I’m gonna stick around my thinks. Hell. Wouldn’t it be funny if I helped interview Thunder Knuckles with you. You can even wear my Thunder Knuckles rubber mask. It will get hot… sweaty… real greasy.. It could be fun. We can remove our clothes and do hand stuff… and…
~Adi bites her bottom lip catching herself from going any further.~
Adi Gold: But that’s your thing. If you don’t need my help in the interview process. That’s cool. But I will be hanging around. Every week. Every episode. Being the boss. Keeping an eye on things. Like bosses do. Maybe I will get a desk with a mug that says … get this… WORLD’S GREATEST… BOSS! Like in the picture shows! Ha! Wouldn’t that be cute, Marcus? Me and you tag teaming OCW? Me as the WORLDS GREATEST BOSS and you are there too. We’ll get a cool mug for you too…
~Adi gently hugs Marcus who looks a little off put by Adi’s choice of sticking around. Welsh’s jaw is clearly clinched as his eyes narrow, projecting a very annoyed look. But his voice manages to eke out~
Marcus Welsh: Suuuure. That’d be…great.
Adi Gold: No. That’d be GOLD
~Marcus dies a little bit inside, smiling and motioning that they should leave~
Smith: Adi Gold is our new owner and she has hired Marcus Welsh to run the company!
Hood: Which sounded GREAT until we heard Adi is going to stick around.
Smith: Like a P.O.S.!
Hood: Did you just call our new owner a Piece of Shit?
Smith: Parent Over Shoulder! C’mon, we all know that’s what POS stands for?
Hood: Geezus
Smith: Welsh is in charge…Adi is sticking around, much to his chagrin. And, tonight, he’s going to interview five of OCW’s HOTTEST competitors to find out who will challenge PIC at Decadence for the OCW Title! Big news with a big show just getting started…stick around, fans, Massacre rolls on!
~We cut to Welsh’s office. He’s seated behind his desk...his new desk. But it looks like his old desk. Maybe it’s his old desk. But it looks new. Ah...man, his new-old desk. He takes a moment to enjoy his return...he leans back and clears hist throat~
Welsh: Alright...send in...Mr. Rodriguez.
Cap Slock: RIGHT AWAY SIR
~The door opens and Lou enters with Crash right behind him~
Welsh: Ah, there he is. There’s my #1 contender to the Paradigm Championship. You’ve come a long way, Crash. Take a seat. I’ve got some questions I’d like to ask you.
~Crash takes a swig from a flask before handing it to Lou and sitting down. As Lou tucks the flask into his jacket pocket, Crash kicks his feet up on Welsh’s old-new desk.~
Crash: I had nothing to do with it. Yes, I was in the restrooms, but the toilets exploded on their own. Purely spontaneous boom that is neither my, nor Bash’s fault.
Welsh: it’s not about that-
Crash: And I have no clue who has been shitting in Emiko’s gym bag, but I do personally think it’s justified.
~Welsh slowly opens his big desk drawer and tosses a not-too-obvious glance inside. He breathes a sigh of relief. It is devoid of shit. He smiles and addresses OCW’s rising star~
Welsh: No need for apologies, Crash. I’m not really concerned with any of that. If you’ve followed OCW under my purview in the past then you’re aware that I always look for and select a wrestler to be the face of the company. Meyhu, Mike Best, and even Aidan Collins…all hand selected to lead the roster into the next ‘era’. And, that’s what I’m looking to do tonight. Sure, PIC is a solid champion, but he’s a relic. We need a new, fresh face to bring this company out of yesteryear and into TODAY.
~Welsh leans forward~
Welsh: And while you may not be the obvious choice…something about you…something I can’t shake. You’re like the wrestler everyone overlooks. Then we all look like fools when you’re dominating the industry. Plus…Lou did kinda help me re-acquire this place so…you two are owed a favor.
~Crash lights a cigarette, some smoke finds its way in Welsh's face.~
Crash: Obvious choice? Marcus, I'm the smart choice. The 'best for business' choice. The only choice.
~Crash inhales a long drag as his eyes linger on Welsh~
Lou: Look, I get it. He's not Meyhu, Mike Best, nor Aidan Collins. He's better. This man is the future of wrestling, and he's been sitting around, passed over, ignored and undervalued. Think for a second here, Mr. Welsh… Do you want OCW to be remembered as the company who squandered the next big thing?
~Welsh stymies a cough, trying to not look like a bitch in front of Lou and Crash. He clears his airway and carefully measures Lou’s words~
Welsh: Absolutely not. It takes vision to find the next ‘big thing’. A true visionary doesn’t go with what’s obvious or what’s easy. They dissect, discern, and detect the most deserving. And you…
~Welsh points at Crash~
Welsh: You just might be it, Crash. You said you’d capture the Craze Title…and you did just that. You’re a man of focus. You’ve got tremendous representation. And, the locker room seems ready to follow you. Yea…the more I think about this, the more I like it.
Lou: It's good you like it, but keep in mind the longer you think about it, the longer my client has to wait, and-
Crash: and I'm not a very patient, man. This is all semantics to me. Either you'll give me what I want… or I'll take it by force.
~Crash takes another puff of his cigarette, his eyes glued to Welsh’s face~
Lou: What my client is trying to say is, why prolong the inevitable? He's the only man fit enough to carry this company after all. You know it, I know it, and the butts filling your seats know it.
Welsh: Nothing wrong with a little aggression. The Aptitude and eMpire didn’t wait. They took. It’s the nature of things. You’ve grown a lot since 2019. A true member of the PROUD and STRONG. I’m impressed. I’m going to mull this over and let you know…but just remember, regardless what happens…the real ones, the OCW OGs…they didn’t wait. They didn’t seek permission. They took.
~Crash pulls his cigarette from his mouth and snuffs it on the desk. He stands up and walks out of the office~
Lou: Welp, I think he’s decided to take… Sorry, about the desk. Think it over as much as you need, just know he’s deadset on getting what he wants. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s much work to be done.
~Lou offers his hand to Welsh. Welsh pauses for a split second before shaking Lou’s hand. The two men nod in agreement before Lou exits alongside Crash. With Lou out of frame, Welsh wipes his hand against his pants with a look of disdain on his face. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Welsh and Lou SEEM buddy-buddy.
Hood: What do you mean ‘seem’? Lou helped Welsh out and now Welsh is going to help Lou out by naming Crash the #1 Contender!
Smith: You didn’t catch Welsh wiping his hand on his pants after shaking Lou’s?
Hood: I think he was just feeling the fabric of those pants. Those looked like mighty fine pants.
Smith: Yea, I doubt that. But the interview process is underway and, well, it seems as though Crash AND Lou made an impression. Will Crash get the shot against PIC? We’ll find out, later tonight! In the meantime, we’ve got in-ring action as a new face is set to debut!
Hood: Smash Rodriguez?
Smith: NO! He’s called The Standard and he looks primed and ready to take OCW by storm. Let’s head to ringside for the debut of The Standard!
The Standard (0-0) vs. Parody Account (0-0)
~Parody Account is in the ring. He’s got PARODY written across his forehead and chest. He crouches down and does some stretches with a very serious look on his face. The entire aesthetic is a contradiction. Belvedere looks over at him like, “What an idiot.”~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring...a man who demands he be taken seriously...very seriously. He is...PARODY ACCOUNT!!
~Parody Account stands up and glares into the camera as it zooms in on his face...a real tight shot, so tight that all we see is the word ‘PARODY’ across his forehead~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~Metal. Metallica. You know the sound. Black, white, and purple smoke tunnels twist in a convergence at the entrance. Cameramen sprint up the ramp with handhelds to get the right shot for you at home. A thunderous lightning strike hits the center. Standing in its wake is The Standard of Professional Wrestling. The place goes apeshit. He emerges fully with glee and a stern ready-for-business discernment in his lethally attractive stare. The man, the myth, the legend sprints out making the energy level spill over in the arena. Sliding into the ring Stan glides as if governed by different gravity. Running post to post he gathers all the energy up to use against this opponent. The Standard has graced us all with another lesson~
Belvedere: From Manhattan, New York...standing 6’4 and weighing in at 195lbs...he is...The Standard!!
~The fans are still going wild for the debut and energy of Stan! He leans back in his corner, eyeing his opponent, ready for the bell to ring. Belvedere exits. The bell sounds and the fan reaction increases~
Smith: And here we go! The debut of a wrestler I’m told OCW is very high on!
Hood: Parody Account?
Smith: No! The Standard.
Hood: Damn, talk about burying someone. Hating all over Parody Account.
Smith: I mean, c’mon...do I have to spell it out?
~Parody Account takes off, running full speed at Stan. He throws a wild haymaker but slips and stumbles into the corner, slamming his head into the top buckle. Stan spins him around and begins pummeling him with right hands. The fans cheer. Parody Account is getting the paint smacked right off his face~
Smith: Parody Account...bless him, he had the spirit.
Hood: And that’s about all he had.
~Stan knees Parody Account in the gut before he grabs his head, turns around, kicks off the middle buckle...he spins in the air and drops Parody Account on his skull with a Tornado DDT!!! The fans go wild!! Parody’s head spikes! He stands upright, out on his feet. Stan is back on his feet in a flash...he hits the ropes, comes off and SMASHES Parody Account in the face with a Claymore kick!! Parody falls into the ropes...they prevent him from falling, propelling him forward and right into a STUNNER (Never The S☠me)!!!!! Parody flips onto his back, unconscious. Stan makes the pin...the fans count along~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...THE STANDARD!!!!!
Smith: Dominating performance by The Standard!
Hood: Looks like he might…
Smith: Don’t.
Hood: Set the STANDARD here in OCW!
Smith: I can’t believe you.
Hood: Believe it, buddy.
Smith: The Standard made Parody Account look like a joke in his debut match and earned his first of many OCW victories to come!
Hood: Big talent. Great debut. Exciting times!
Smith: Indeed!
~Back to Welsh’s office. Welsh is groaning, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped behind his head~
Welsh: Ughhh...oh my...ohhh...wow…
Cap Slock: SIR, HARMON EGAN IS HERE TO SEE YOU
~Welsh sits up~
Welsh: Oh...oh my. Why didn’t you say something? Send him in. He’s the Craze Champion, right?
~The door opens and Harmon enters, Craze Title over his shoulder. Alongside him is his manager Corey Smith.~
Welsh: Apparently he is.
~Greg emerges from underneath Welsh’s desk. He smiles at Harmon before exiting. Everyone pauses for a second...is...anybody...gonna say something? Nope. Okay. We move on~
Welsh: E-Harmony, haha? Jokes. Jokes, I assure you. But, seriously, you’re the guy who can’t talk, right?
~Harmon rolls his eyes and Corey interjects~
Corey: First off, nice to meet you. Second off, oh ho hoooo he is so much more than the guy who can't talk. He is the undefeated Craze Champ and I can give you a metric shit ton of reasons why he is your go to main event guy in 2023.
~Harmon points at Corey as if to say "what he said." Welsh nods, eyeing Corey~
Welsh: I’ve heard of you, Mr. Smith. You command a lot of respect in this business. Makes me wonder why he’s in the ring and you’re not…
~A strong pause. Welsh studies the two men in his office, wondering if his remark might create any tension. It doesn’t seem to have that sort of impact. So, he continues.~
Welsh: Ah, well…I’m sure you have your reasons. Truth be told I almost cut Harmon from the interview process. For starters, he can’t speak and I’m not sure if I can fully get behind an OCW Champion who can’t talk. Call me antiquated but it seems like a pretty massive hurdle to overcome. But, all that aside…I also heard through the gossip grapevine that Mr. Egan here wasn’t really all that interested in obtaining an OCW Title shot. Which, ya know, makes a guy like me wonder…does he have the ambition it takes to lead a company?
Corey: Sir you probably heard that bit of gossip from one of Harmons many haters. He absolutely wants the shot.
~Harmon nods~
Corey: And I find it very unfortunate that you would seek to use his disability against him. Let me ask you this. Even though he can't talk, why is he still massively over with the fans? Why is he more over than the majority of your roster who not only can talk, but rarely have anything worth saying? It's easy, man. People know a phenom when they see one. And Harmon is a phenom. One of a kind. And besides, if you're that bent about Harmon not talking, what do you think he hired me for?
~Welsh throws his hands in the air~
Welsh: Whoa, whoa…I didn’t mean to insinuate anything against people with hardships. That’s not…
~He pauses, composing~
Welsh: Ya know what, forget what I said. Your ascent has been nothing short of amazing. It screams ‘main event’, if you ask me. But, I do wonder…are you ready for such a leap? The Craze Title is a prestigious championship that yields an abundance of challengers…but typically these wrestlers are on the lower end of the competitive spectrum. Wrestlers like Moonlight Rose and SYNN. Promising but far from solidified main event talent. Would the jump from the frying pan into the fryer be too much for your client, Mr. Smith?
~Harmon looks at Corey with a grin, as if to say “have at it”~
Corey: Oh boy oh boy Mr. Welsh, I am so glad I get to be the first to tell you this. Now, I realize you weren’t around during this time, so I’m not gonna ding ya for it. But did you know….
~Corey leans over closer to Welsh and whispers conspiratorially~
Corey: …there’s a rumor going around that Harmon beat your current Paradigm champion Sahara Duke. There’s another rumor going around that he beat a former two time world champion just last week. There’s a third rumor going around that he beat Crash Rodriguez for the Craze championship in the first place. Now, these rumors aren’t confirmed…
~Harmon taps Corey on the shoulder. Corey turns back towards his client. Harmon shakes his head “yes” emphatically~
Corey: Oh, my bad. I’ve just confirmed those rumors are true. He did beat those people. I’m sorry, what were you asking again…?
~Welsh looks around, clearly caught with his pants down. He not-so-smoothly starts to check his phone to validate these’ rumors’. It doesn’t take long. He looks back up at Corey and his Craze Champion, Harmon Egan~
Welsh: Of course I was aware of all that…I just wanted to see if you had the confidence to list your achievements.
~Welsh leans toward Egan, directly his sole focus toward the champ~
Welsh: Harmon…you’re undefeated, you’re a champion, you’re battle tested…and you’re young. You’ve got a name that isn’t shared with other promotions. You’re an OCW original. Proud and Strong.
~Leaning back, Welsh ponders. He thinks. Is he about to pull the trigger?~
Corey: All of the above man. And consider this. If Harmon starts getting bored, just how long do you think he'll STAY an OCW original? The man wants fights. Big ones. Let's keep him happy, eh?
~Welsh eyes Corey. It’s clear he doesn’t like being ‘bullied’...but, not much he can really do about it. He nods and leans forward~
Welsh: Noted. Say no more. Message received…you won’t have to wait long, Mr. Egan. Your time is coming and it’s coming very soon.
~An understanding seems to have been struck. We cut back to the announce table~
Smith: Well now...I thought Crash had it wrapped up but, now I'm not so sure. Egan seems like a strong contender.
Hood: He's undefeated. He's young. He's OCW OG. Why not pull the trigger?
Smith: Exactly. He's got a big match tonight so I'd think Welsh might want to make sure he gets through that unscathed before giving him the main event.
Hood: True, can't have a #1 contender who just lost to Midnight Clove.
Smith: It's Moonlight Rose!
Hood: What. Ever.
Smith: I think it's safe to say that Egan has, at the very least, pulled even with Crash in this interview process. Three more interviews left to go, however!
~Suddenly the arena goes black.Clock sounds are heard. The crowd begins clapping along with each tick and tock as an animated CLOCK appears on the screen. Then loud sounds of clock chimes ringing are heard over the quiet Ars Arcana’s Lamentoso song. The clock begins counting down from 15. The crowd catches it and begins counting down when it gets to ten.
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
~A shot of the backstage parking lot is on the screen. That’s when a Harley Davidson motorcycle is heard from a distance. The bike speeds up to the camera. Black leather pants, boots, jacket and helmet on the driver. Focusing only on the Harley’s wheels and woman’s boots. She gets off the bike. The camera panes up slowly as the woman pulls off the helmet. A mix reaction of cheers and boos is heard from the arena as it is revealed to be OCWs most recent controversial star, Diana Watts. She smirks as she begins walking towards the hallway to the entrance ramp.~
Smith: Well she has been hyping this 2023 ‘Diana Clock’ for months now, Hood. What does Diana Watts have in store for us as she heads in the arena and I assume to ring side.
Hood: Not sure, Smith. Diana Watts has been all over the place since debuting in OCW.
Smith: She has had a bit of an identity crisis… she’s trying to find her way in OCW.
Hood: Identity crisis is putting it lightly. She’s nuts. But I kind of dig her… I think?
Smith: Can’t decide, huh? Well I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting…
Hood: Dammit Smith … talk about killing my boner, dude.
Smith: That would insinuate you had a boner while sitting next to me, Hood.
Hood: …
Smith: …
Hood & Smith: LET'S GET DIANA OUT HERE...C'MON, DIANA, GET OUT HERE WITH YOUR TITS AND ASS
~SO EASY by Willy Deville hits as the mixed crowd erupts out of their seats. Diana Watts storms out from behind the curtain with her arms raised in the air. She stands at the top of the ramp with her hands on her hips. On the left side of the OCW Massacre entrance stage are three chairs and a podium. On the podium is a large clock. Diana removes her leather jacket and walks to the podium. Throwing her jacket under the podium. As the crowd begins to die down she leans into the microphone to speak.~
Diana Watts: WATTS up bitches?
~Diana pulls her head back from the microphone with a smug smile as the crowd gives her another mixed reaction. She pulls the microphone off of the podium's stand. And walks around to the front of if.~
Diana Watts: Ok. I get it. A lot of you aren’t familiar with who I am. And that’s fine. My first impression of me on all of you in OCW last year has not been memorable. I can admit that… but boy did I get some notice by the end of the year…
~Diana laughs as she shrugs~
Diana Watts: But that is 2022. This is the 2023 gang. A year for new beginnings. A fresh start for everyone. Me. You. Everyone in the back on the OCW roster. Hell… even a fresh start for the Strader litter. I mean no disrespect nor do I want cheap heat on that family's name. I respect the hell for Veronica, Meghan, Tamika, Cass, John Nash, Dopey, Bashful, Grumpy, Prance and Vixen Strader. Some were my friends at one point… Some just did a damn good job in the ring. Respect. 100 percent. As for the other one… Victoria. The lesbian Victoria… Did I get that right? I don’t want her to throw a sissy fit tantrum again. But Victoria gets no respect from me. She can drive herself off a bridge to an exploding doom for all I care. And take that Portal Potty shit you ruined with you…
~Diana laughs as more mixed reactions from the live crowd.~
Diana Watts: But let’s just all be happy that it’s 2023. AND OCW IS BACK! AND IT IS STRADER FREE!!!
~Diana smirks again.~
Diana Watts: Trust me. A Strader Free OCW is a Better OCW. Don’t just ask me. Let’s ask some OCW staff that were forced to work with a Strader or two last year. Please welcome interviewer Who’re and medical staff supervisor The Knife Man!
~The crowd cheers as Who’re and Knife Man walk out from behind the curtain. Passing Diana they hug and shake her hand to their respective seats. Diana approaches Who’re.~
Diana Watts: This is Who’re… she has had a rough go over the last year with OCW and including the Straders also. Especially a John Nash Strader specifically.
~Who’re begins weeping just at his name alone. Diana falls to one knee in front of Who’re and holds her hand.
Diana Watts: Who’re… Who’re. It’s ok. It’s OK! They are gone! THEY ARE GONE! No more Straders. You are safe now. We are ALLLLL safe.
~Who’re wipes her tears from her cheeks and eyes with a tissue. Diana pulls out a 100 dollar John Nash Strader doll. Who’re can’t even look at the toy.~
Diana Watts: Please… Who’re. We have to get through this… I am here for you. Help me, help you! Now… What did John Nash Strader do to you? Face your fears. Tell the world… Did he force himself on you?
~Who’re weeps some more as she nods ‘yes’. Diana shakes her head in disgust.~
Diana Watts: Wow. What a monster… did he do things to your vagina? Butthole? Mouth? How did he hurt and force himself on to you?
Who’re: Oh none of that….
Diana Watts: Oh… how then? What did he do to you?
Who’re: Well… he would… he would like…
Diana Watts: What? What did this Strader do to you??
Who’re: He would… tell me the Strader Family History. And… if I got wrong… he would…
Diana Watts: Did you HIT you??
Who’re: No… he would just whine and moan. And tell me the ENITRE story again until I get it right! IT WAS TORTURE!
~Diana Watts covers her mouth in shock.~
Diana Watts: That bastard! That son of a bitch bastard… stay strong Who’re! We are Strader free… And The Knife Man!
~Diana stands up and walks over to Knife Man.~
Diana Watts: You had to work with most of them throughout the year. SInce Meghan and Tamika being financiers in OCW. To finally being under Victoria Strader as she was commissioner of OCW at the end of OCW 2022. What do you have to say about that awful experience?
~Knife Man goes to speak. And just shakes his head ‘no’. ~
Diana Watts: He is speechless. I’ll just ask you some stuff. And you do your best to answer. Did you like communicating with Meghan and Tamika Strader? Would you consider them friends?
~Knife Man shakes his head ‘no’ immediately.~
Diana Watts: Right. Right. Would you want to see another Strader in OCW ever again?
~Again Knife Man shakes his head ‘no’.~
Diana Watts: And… for Victoria Strader? You have had dealings with therapy in the past. In your professional and expert opinion… was Victoria Strader mentally stable enough to run OCW? Shake your head yes or no…
~Knife Man thinks for a second. Rubbing his mask with his hand. He leans into Diana’s mic.~
The Knife Man: She is a Goddamn psychopath, man. All of them damn Strader’s are. A family of whack-a-doos!
Diana Watts: Whack-a-doo’s 1.0.1. Huh? And somehow the biggest whack-job of the bunch managed to keep this company alive for a handful of months. Mike Mason’s sexual favors aside… you did manage to keep OCW going, Vic’. So props for that… maybe when you grow up and stop being a whiny bitch about everything you can maybe do some big things… elsewhere I mean. Just don’t step back in OCW! Ever. Again. Or the Watts will be let loose…
~Diana smiles and looks at the third empty chair.!
Diana Watts: And finally the last chair? Who is the last person or persons to be affected by The Strader awfulness? Well… that is me, you and everyone in the OCW universe. We all had to be tortured by them… but not anymore. I am not even to thank for that. I am not even sure who is to thank to be honest. But let’s just be thrilled we never get to deal or watch them ever again. CHEERS TO THAT!
~Diana raises an invisible glass in her hand as a salute and pretends to drink it.~
Diana Watts: Now that’s over with… What is next for me? Diana Watts? I’ll tell you exactly what is next. The world, bitches. And everything in it. The entire OCW is on notice. Am I the hero? Or the villain? Cheer me? Boo me? Doesn’t matter. Just FEAR me! Because they may send the WATTS out on one of you! OCW 2023… you are all on notice. The Diana Clock is only the start. And that. Is. WATTS up, bitches!
~Diana drops the mic as if she were dropping a ‘pipe bomb’. SO EASY hits again as she stares at the audience still receiving a mixed reaction. Smiling, she heads to the backstage area~
Smith: The WATTS has been turned loose on OCW.
Hood: Woman's got a mouth on her, that's for sure.
Smith: Diana returns to the ring...after this commercial break!
Check out the replay of Hard-Wired to Self Destruct for the ULTRA LOW price of $69.69!!!
~The lights cut out, drenching the arena in darkness, as the rhythmic thumpings of "No Love" by The Death Grips begins to pound through the sound system. A line spotlight shines across the crowd before landing on the stage where we find Crash Rodriguez, mic in hand~
How the trip never stops
~The beat continues to drone out as the spotlight follows Crash as he makes his way down the ramp, a look of apathy plastered on his face~
You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a beatdown
~Crash slides in under the bottom rope, and quickly rises to his feet. As the music dies out Crash brings the mic to his lips~
Crash: Earlier Welsh told me how the former greats took what they wanted, and it’s high time I grab what’s mine. So everybody in the back it’s time to wake the fuck up, because from this point forward, OCW is BoB country.
~The crowd erupts into a cacophony of boos~
Crash: This is your only warning. Stay out of our way, or bring lube for when we fuck you to death and dump you in a ditch.
~Crash let’s that sink in as the crowd continues jeering~
Crash: You see, BoB is a penetrating force. You’ve only gotten the tip, now prepare for the Shaft, cause this is a hostile takeover. You fuckers pit Batardly Brother against Bastardly Brother and expected somebody to die. Instead we gave a genuine performance. You people don’t seem to understand, we stand together because we’re the only people on the same fucking level. News flash, It never mattered who won that match. The results would’ve been the same either way… Complete BoB domination, and that's kicking off in 2023. Consider today Chinese New Year’s, because it’s the year of the Bastard.
Crash: Sahara, I could say how I’ve beaten you before, but we both know that means nothing. What actually has some weight to it? The fact I show up even when I don’t have to. We got crybaby teenagers, not worth their weight in shit, who put in more work than you. Now, I know you’re too stupid to keep up with me normally Sahara, so I’ll break it down easy enough for you to understand… I’m going to fuck you up, like half the men in our industry already have, and toss you to the side as if you’re Robert Uchiha’s socks. Oh and before you tune out, one last note for you, Mrs. Duke… Don’t fuck up your plastic surgery when the door of your championship reign closes.
~Crash tosses the mic out of the ring looking very, very confident. And why shouldn’t he? We transition back to the announce team~
Smith: Well, Crash is taking Welsh’s advice.
Hood: Sounds like he wants to destroy Sahara IF he doesn’t get the OCW Title shot.
Smith: Yep. He’s in a great spot. He either challenges PIC for the OCW Title OR he challenges Sahara for the Paradigm Championship. Crash’s stock is pretty high.
Hood: About fuckin time.
Smith: Alright, let’s head backstage for another interview and then we’ll see Diana Watts in action!
On and on, it's beyond insane
Why I set myself up
In a raging sea of flames?
Madness, chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you, mane
You got no business questioning a thang
You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a beatdown
Madness, chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you, mane
You got no business questioning a thang
You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a-
~And, once again, we cut back to Welsh’s office. This seems excessive, right? Holy smokes. Thank goodness there’s only one Welsh and not, like, fifteen of these fuckers. He’s behind his desk going through promotional material of old OCW events~
Welsh: Stainless Steel Ride...now THAT was a great ppv. Oh man, Throwback...another classic. Time to bring the good times back to the PROUD AND STRONG.
Cap Slock: SIR
Welsh: What is it, my dear captain?
Cap Slock: THE NEXT INTERVIEWEE IS HERE...THE KNUCKLE WHO THUNDERS.
Welsh: Alright, send him in.
~TK enters Welsh’s office. Much like with Nickleman...Welsh looks up, getting a good glance at one half of the OCW Tag Champs~
Welsh: Geezus.
~TK pats his coveted platinum and jade Tag Team Championship.~
TK: You should be thanking the Bastardly Father, Welsh.
~Not stopping talking TK begins looking around Welsh’s office.~
TK: Whatcha need? Is this about hurt those two OnlyWhore at the Pay-Per-View? Because I’m not sorry. Like. At all.
~Welsh has to look at the promotional material for the previous ppv to catch the reference. He does a hard eye roll~
Welsh: No, no, that’s fine. Totally a Strader hire. Never hire a whore to do a man’s job. Trust me, I found that out the hard way. No, the reason you’re here is because…well, against my better judgment, I’ve circled you as one of five potential names to lead the OCW roster into the new year by challenging the old timer, PIC for the OCW Title at Decadence.
~Welsh lets that settle for a moment before cutting TK off~
Welsh: And I say against my better judgment because we’ve had our differences. The tag match in the demilitarized zone when you and your tag partner stole the tag titles from my company. The war that followed with that other company you call your home. You may seem proud and strong at the moment…but are you, truly? If the unthinkable were to happen and you were to defeat PIC and claim the OCW Title…what would stop you from running over to that other promotion with it?
TK: Oh, come on, Welsh. You already know that the answer to that is nothing. Well, other my goddamn word, and right now, you fucking have it. What’s this shit about five potential names?
~Seemingly impatient TK continues.~
TK: Hell, you name’em off and I’ll tell you exactly why I should fucking be above all those names no matter how long they’ve been here or how hard they’ve fought for the right at the shot. Try me.
Welsh: Well I can’t release those names…they are confidential. Can’t have you or any of these other bastards taking out the five most marketable names, as I see it, in the company. Which, yes, includes you.
~Welsh looks at TK…for the first time he really looks at him~
Welsh: IF…if we were to go with you as the potential face of this place for 2023. And, make no mistake about it, whoever I select to face PIC at Decadence is the horse I’m picking to lead this company into the new year…but IF I were to select you…would you be willing to, I dunno, lift some weights? Change your diet? Get a new hair style?
~Running his hand though his sweet mullet~
TK: The hair is off the table. As far as lifting weights and being on a fucking diet.
~A mischievous smile forms on TK face~
TK: Suuuure. Decadence is the name of the goddamn Pay-Per-View and there’s no one that can carry the weight of that name like yours truly, Ol’ Thunder Knuckles. As for the other five you don’t even need to speak to them. I'm obviously the best choice for the job. Think about it, even PIC knows I’m coming and once my eyes are on a prize.
~The mischievous smile has faded from TK’s face and has be replaced with a stern stare.~
TK: You might as well call it mine.
Welsh: Well you’ve certainly got confidence, I’ll give you that. And for reasons I can’t begin to explain, Miss Gold is a fan of yours. AND…there seems to be some kind of arrangement that was procured prior to Strader’s departure that insinuated you’re due an OCW Title shot should PIC remain the champion. A lot going in your favor…again, IF…IF I go with you, would you be willing to sign some legal documentation protecting the OCW and it’s premier championship from appearing on another promotion’s broadcast?
~Without hesitation TK responds.~
TK: Show me the contracts and I’ll fucking sign’em.
Welsh: Fair enough. I think you’ve satisfied all the major issues.
~Welsh looks at TK’s gut, his arms which in the world of professional wrestling lack total definition, and his mullet~
Welsh: As for…everything else. Well, we’ll see…decision is coming at the end of tonight’s show. Best of luck to you.
~Welsh extends his hand. TK snorts, laughs and gets up to exit, leaving Welsh hanging. We cut back to the announce team~
Smith: Welsh covering his bases with Thunder Knuckles.
Hood: Can't blame him. Those bastards are unpredictable. And as much as I wanna pretend like the OCW Tag Titles are super prestigious...let's be honest. Those belts appearing on another wrestling broadcast...stings. But it doesn't hurt. The OCW Title appearing on another broadcast...that'd be brutal.
Smith: Gotta protect the apex prize in your promotion. A fact that I think, no matter what documents get drawn up and signed, will prevent Welsh from going with Thunder Knuckles.
Hood: Same. TK is here to bolster the tag division and that's it, as far as Welsh sees it.
Smith: Okay. Back to in-ring action! Diana Watts is dropping pipe bombs left and right. Now, for the first time in months, she's going to put her money where her mouth is.
Hood: I love stuffing dollar bills in the mouths of whores.
Smith: HOOD! For the love, it's 2023!
Hood: Hey, you started it.
Smith: Diana Watts appears on the verge of breaking out in 2023...but, it all starts with a match she MUST win...and that match is next!
Diana Watts (2-4) vs. All IC Bro (0-0)
~We cut to ringside where All IC Bro is tearing into three SLIM JIM’s at once. He’s got some shitty knock off shades covering his eyes, rocking a pretty sweet mullet, and showing off his very thin but (to his credit) toned upper body. Cargo shorts that go past the knees cover his lower half with military boots over his feet. He yells out, “I didn’t post a roleplay but that’s okay because Diana’s was trash and I’m gonna win!” Fans gasp at the word ‘roleplay’ being uttered. All IC Bro throws his arms up, “Whoa! Hold up, it’s not what you think...this is all IC, bros!” The fans don’t really believe him~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring, from one of the lower IQ states in the US...he swears he doesn’t blur lines, he swears everything is within the limits of the game...he is...All IC Bro!!
~All IC Bro walks up and says something extremely offensive and personal to Belvedere. Belvedere shoots him a furious look. All IC Bro throws his arms up and says, “Whoa, it’s all IC bro, all IC!” Belvedere regains his composure~
Belvedere: And, his opponent…
~So Easy hits in the arena. Green strobe lights give the arena a mild headache as Diana Watts walks out from the curtain. She slowly walks down to the ring avoiding fan reactions. She slides into the ring and stretches her arms and rubs her knuckles together ready for the match to begin~
Belvedere: From E Cleveland, Ohio...standing 5’6 and weighing in at 115lbs...Diana Watts!
~Belvedere exits leaving All IC Bro and Diana Watts in the ring. Scruff motions for the bell to ring...it does and the fans pop! Diana goes straight after All IC Bro...but he throws a wild, shitty karate jump kick at her. She backs up. All IC Bro has his hands up in a very sloppy karate stance~
Smith: Diana Watts making her long awaited in-ring return.
Hood: She does more damage on twitter than she does in the ring, Smith!
Smith: She certainly has an acerbic personality online. I know I wouldn’t wanna get on her bad side.
Hood: Good look avoiding that. I’ve looked at this woman from every angle and all of her sides are bad.
Smith: Hood!
~All IC Bro starts to lower his guard. “April, eh, talk about the shittiest month of the year...besides, I liked you better when you were Vicky Stone…” Diana’s eyes bug out and she heads toward All IC Bro. “Whoa, whoa! Calm down, woman! I’m just being IC...it’s all IC...brooooooooooo!!!” his voice echoes through the arena as Diana grabs him by the party end of his mullet and slings him across the ring. His body flies through the air, slamming on the mat and rolling toward the ropes. The fans pop~
Smith: Diana might have agitated the fans with her promo earlier...but I don’t think anyone will be feeling sorry for All IC Bro.
Hood: Nope. I heard he got into a big fight at a Key West mall when he pulled Santa’s beard off and called him Jeff. When the parents got pissed he insisted it was ALL IC.
Smith: Well...what happened?
Hood: He was banned from hanging out in the food court. I’m told it was pretty traumatizing for him.
~All IC Bro is rattled. He sits up against the ropes before leaning forward and crawling toward the center of the ring. Watts hits the ropes...she bounces off, jumps up and SMASH! She slams All IC Bro’s face into the mat with a CURB STOMP!!! A giant wade of half chewed slim jim stains the mat. His cheap shades shatter. He’s left laying in a brown puddle of saliva and processed meat. Diana snares the party end of his mullet and she yanks him to his feet~
Smith: It looks like All IC Bro is half in the bag!
Hood: Dreaming about Mountain Dew and extreme Doritos.
Smith: Aren’t regular Doritos already on the extreme end of ‘nutrition’?
Hood: Sure, if you’re a pussy.
~Diana hits the ropes again...she bounces off and SMACK! She nearly ruins All IC Bro’s mullet with a running big boot!!!! All IC Bro turns inside out, landing flat on his back. Diana covers him up and Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...DIANA WATTS!!!!!
Smith: Diana Watts hits WATTS KICKIN and puts All IC Bro down for her first win in what feels like FOREVER
Hood: 2023 begins with a Diana Watts in-ring victory. I don’t think that’s a good thing.
Smith: She’s got sizzle. She’s got some bark, Hood. And, tonight, she showed she had some bite.
Hood: Easy there, big guy. If you have a thing for this woman handle that shit backstage. We’re professionals up here.
Smith: I...ugh...whatever. I’m always a professional, you’re the one…
Hood: Don’t put this back on me.
Smith: Whatever...Diana Watts with a big return victory as she looks to fulfill the potential she showed late in 2022!
~Backstage, we find Jacki O'Lantern inside of her locker room, standing in front of a big mirror as she is applying the finishing touches to her face paint. She is set to compete later on tonight, so she already has her ring gear on. Once she is satisfied with her work, she puts away the face paint, turns around and exits the room. Walking down the hallway with a smile on her painted lips, she is nearly bowled over by a streak of awesomeness in the form of a human. Greek gods would be jealous of the chiseled physique of “Throw Back” Steve Black. His crew cut has been freshly bleached and the rat tail is even radder than normal. His face, too, is freshly painted, though with more vibrant blue and yellow colors.~
Steve: Hey hey bro-chica. Why the hurry?
~Steve steps back a moment and very obviously gives her a look up and down. He smiles, clearly seeing something he likes.~
Jacki O'Lantern: I am so sorry. I guess I was just in the zone getting ready for my match tonight.
Steve: Holy Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! You’re teaming up with my broheem, Ollie. We’re like best friends!
~Steve begins giving her his classic “do me” eyes as he gently takes her hand and brings it to his lips, nibbling gently.~
Steve: I’m the cat’s pajamas and the bee’s knees. I’m the dude with the tude who never likes to be rude…“Throw Back” Steve Black, jack and I love a girl in face paint.
~Jacki quickly pulls her hand back. She seems polite enough but doesn’t seem too interested.~
~Steve leans up against the wall, hovering over her and invading her personal space in the process.~
Steve: Of course… most of the time it’s my face paint they’re wearing… after sweating it off during a long night of love making. You know… *whispers* sexual intercourse.
~Jacki shifts a bit, looking uncomfortable.~
Jacki O'Lantern: Wow, that’s something. But I really do need to be on my way. I gotta get ready for this match.
Steve: Here’s a better idea. How’s about me and your beautiful pumpkin self go back to my dressing room and I give you a taste of my delicious goard.
~Suddenly one of Jacki’s cats comes from out of nowhere, jumps on his arm and starts to bite him while digging its claws into Steve’s arm. Jacki watches and smirks.~
Jacki O'Lantern: Isn't he such a friendly cat? Loyal and quick to attack when he senses trouble.
~Steve screams out in pain, trying to shake the cat off his arm but the cat just digs deeper with every movement.~
Steve: Son of a biscuit! Get it off me!
Jacki O'Lantern: You know what they say, first impressions are everything, and well that was a hell of a first impression. You might want to have those marks looked at before you do anything else, bud.
~Jacki smiles. And begins walking away.~
Jacki O'Lantern: Come on Kitty McPaws.
~The cat releases its grip and hops onto Jacki’s shoulder. She happily continues down the hall as Steve grabs at his arm, now covered in blood.~
Steve: Dang! I had no clue her pussy was so dangerous! I’m gonna need some protection.
~We linger on the confused face of Steve Black before slowly fading to commercial~
THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS RETURNS IN FEBRUARY
~For the third time tonight we are whisked away to Welsh’s office. He’s going through letters from OCW fans all addressed to ‘Strader’...thanking her for a job well done~
Welsh: So stupid. Fuckin idiots. Strader this...Strader that. CAPTAIN
Cap Slock: YESSIR
Welsh: Burn these letters right now...make sure they never see the light of day.
Cap Slock: YESSIR.
Welsh: Oh, and Captain...it’s great to have me back, right?
Cap Slock: ABSOLUTELY SIR. THIS PLACE WAS HORRIBLE WITHOUT YOU. YOU ARE TRULY THE VERY BEST AT EVERYTHING YOU DO.
Welsh: That’s what I thought. Send in the next interviewee.
Cap Slock: THE NICKLEMAN IS NOT HERE, SIR
Welsh: Excuse me?
~Welsh leans forward...confused, bewildered...blown away, even? A wrestler would stand HIM up? Blow off the biggest interview of their career??~
Cap Slock: HE’S, UMM, NOT HERE, SIR. HE’S NOT COMING.
Welsh: Oh, really? Well, fuck him then, right? Do you hear me, captain...FUCK HIM
Cap Slock: I HEARD THAT, SIR. LOUD AND CLEAR
Welsh: As long as I’m GM he’ll never, EVER get a shot at the OCW Title. NEVER
Cap Slock: YESSIR
Welsh: I need to calm down. Captain, go grab me a Fresca or one of those sparkling coconut sodas with zero calories.
Cap Slock: ON THE WAY, SIR
~Cap Slock leaves Welsh in his office. Welsh slams his fist into his desk. He’s pissed that Nickleman no-showed...but, also, a little intrigued. Something about having the balls to no show an interview for the OCW Title. It’s got Welsh thinking...wondering...we cut back to the announce table~
Smith: I think we can cross Nickleman off the list.
Hood: Yes...but also, no.
Smith: Huh?
Hood: It takes balls, Smith. BALLS to blow off the boss when he’s set to give you a big promotion. Welsh might recognize that and reward Nickleman.
Smith: That’s re...ridiculous.
Hood: You ever seen Office Space?
Smith: If Nickleman is named #1 Contender after no showing his big interview...I don’t know what I’d do.
Hood: Hey, that’d be CLASSIC OCW, BABY!
Smith: I can’t stomach the thought. Folks, let’s head down to ringside for some tag team action. Get our minds off of a scenario that would spell calamity.
Haven (0-1) vs. Ollie Rhule & Jackie O’Lantern (0-0)
~Haven is already in the ring. The two young women are holding up signs letting all the fans know where their live internet streams can be found. Guess they might make some money broadcasting stuff online. WHO KNOWS. Belvedere clears his throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring...HAVEN!
Smith: Haven back in action after a tough loss at Hard-Wired to Self Destruct against the tag champions.
Hood: Yea, they also didn’t get an entrance tonight. Not exactly a GREAT sign if you’re a Haven fan.
Smith: Can’t argue that.
~Haven acknowledge the fans (mostly male) who cheer them on~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
Smith: Haven taking on the mishmashed team of Ollie Rhule and Jackie O’Lantern.
Hood: Halloween was SO last year.
Belvedere: Introducing first...
~The opening notes of Billy Squire's "The Stroke" echo throughout the PA system as the fans rise to their feet. "Old School" Ollie Rhule runs out of the tunnel and onto the stage. He begins smacking himself in the face repeatedly. The crowd reaction is a mixture of laughs and cheers for the Blast from the Past member.~
Belvedere: From Theodore, Alabama... he is... "Old School" Ollie Rhule!!!
~Ollie struts his stuff down the entrance ramp in a style reminiscent of Jim Duggan. He stomps his way up the ring steps and enters through the middle rope. He waits for the music to die down before cupping his hands and screaming at the top of his lungs.~
Ollie: OLLIE, OLLIE, OXEN FREE...
OCW Faithful: ... YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!!!
Belvedere: And, his tag team partner…
~Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett plays and out comes Jacki O'Lantern from behind the curtain to thunderous cheers from the crowd. She walks down the ramp and looks toward them, noticing some signs in support of her, as she points to them and gives them a nod before ascending up the stairs and underneath the bottom rope where she enters the ring. She taunts the crowd, which generates more of a reaction from them, before focusing her eyes on the stage as her music dies~
Belvedere: From San Diego, California...standing 5’3 and weighing in at 120lbs...Jackie O’Lantern!!!
~Belvedere exits and Scruff calls for the bell. LeStrange is staring the match off for Haven. Ollie and Jackie seem to be at odds over who is going to start the match for their team~
Smith: This is what happens when you pair two strangers together.
Hood: Let Ollie start it off. Give the man the rub!
Smith: Why not Jackie? She’s got star power.
Hood: She does?
~LeStrange sees the miscommunication going on with Jackie and Ollie. So she runs forward and flies through the air, slamming into both competitors. Ollie flies through the ropes to the outside while Jackie is squashed in the corner. Scruff makes a decision and signals that Jackie is the legal partner for her team. LeStrange grabs Jackie’s arm and whips her across the ring...she slams into the opposite corner. Phoenix charges in but gets a boot to the face! She stumbles backward, holding her mouth in pain. Jackie fires out of the corner and delivers a BIG BOOT to LeStrange’s face, taking her down. She then runs at Luciana and knocks her off the apron~
Smith: Jackie is taking care of business!
Hood: No kidding. But I still refuse to say her last name.
Smith: Why?
Hood: Because it’s ridiculous.
~Jackie focuses back on LeStrange...she pulls her off the mat and kicks her in the gut. She brings LeStrange in, hooks her and lifts her up...she drops her right on her head with No Fucks Given (Gotch Piledriver)!!! In the background, we see Ollie peeking over the apron to witness the move and subsequent pin. Jackie covers LeStrange and Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The crowd pops!~
Belvedere: Here are your winners...the team of...JACKIE O’LANTERN AND OLLIE RHULE!!!!!
Smith: Easy, breezy victory for Jackie and Ollie!
Hood: Ollie? Jackie did all the work!
Smith: Indeed...and, well, it appears Ollie is less than satisfied.
~Ollie, who never got a chance to compete in the mat, slaps the apron from the outside and rolls into the ring as LeStrange is being removed from the ring, leaving Jackie alone. Ollie enters and walks up to Jackie, clearly frustrated~
Smith: Yea, he’s not thrilled over the fact he got his first win without, well, being able to shine.
Hood: So? A win is a win, quit bitching.
Smith: Competitors like to show off, Hood. Show their skills. Ollie didn’t get that chance.
~Ollie is animated, gesticulating with anger. Jackie calmly reaches out, placing her hand on his chest and starts to talk. Ollie’s breathing starts to slow. The red in his face softens. He nods, understanding. She pats him on the back...he’s come to terms with the circumstance surrounding their victory. The crowd remains tense. Jackie grabs Ollie’s arm and she throws it high in the air, along with hers...the fans go wild~
Smith: There we go! No need for anger!
Hood: Like I said...a win is a win and they are hard to come by here in OCW.
Smith: Indeed, they are!
~Ollie and Jacki continue to celebrate their win in the ring when Jacki is suddenly blasted in the head from behind by…Jimmy Greene!~
Smith: That’s Jimmy Greene! Ollie’s stablemate from Blast From the Past. What’s he doing out here?
Hood: Well for starters, booting Jacki’s O’Lantern off.
~Ollie turns around to see his stablemate standing over Jacki’s body and a look of confusion comes over his face. He then sees Steve Black climbing into the ring with a big grin as Corey Feldman watches on from ringside. A chorus of boos reigns down on the Blast from the Past group as Steve walks over to Ollie and gives him a congratulatory pat on the shoulder. Ollie continues to have a WTF expression on his face, clearly having no idea this was going to happen. Steve tells Jimmy to pick Jacki off the mat. Jimmy obliges, holding her back by both arms as Steve grabs the microphone from Jacki.~
Steve: Hey dude, what you and your pussy did to me backstage was not cool… man. Steve Black just gave you the opportunity of a lifetime and you flushed it down the toilet, which is where your career is headed, bro!
~The crowd continues to boo loudly as Steve berates a defenseless Jacki in front of them.~
Steve: I know, right? I’d boo her too for what she did to me! Keep those boos coming so Jacki knows just how the STEVE-O’s feel about her!
~More boos as Steve is all smiles.~
Smith: I’m confused. Does Steve Black ACTUALLY think the crowd is booing Jacki?
Hood: I know you weren’t always around, but this guy’s had a few screws loose since day one. I don’t know if anyone know if he has the capacity to think anything.
~Steve continues.~
Steve: Face it, pumpkin head… you just made the biggest mistake of your lifetime. Consider your future officially over thanks to a Blast From the Past!
~Steve rushes forward just as Jimmy lets go of Jacki. Steve nails her with a stiff lariat, turning her inside out in the process. The crowd gets loud with their support of Jacki but neither Steve Black nor Jimmy Greene seem to care. Ollie is still confused at the whole thing and clearly reluctant to join in. Jimmy picks Jacki up off the canvas again as both he and Steve look at Ollie.~
Steve: Come on Bro-chacho! We all know your team won tonight because of you. Drop this dead weight in front of all our adoring fans!
~Ollie immediately shakes his head no as the crowd responds.~
Smith: Ollie doesn’t seem interested in beating down his partner from this evening.
Hood: Why not? Everyone else has!
~Steve once again motions for Ollie to help take out Jacki, but Ollie doesn’t want to do it. Corey Feldman hops up onto the ring apron and grabs the microphone from Steve.~
Corey: Do it, Ollie! You wanna be famous? You wanna make the big bucks? Well it starts right here and now! We’re your meal ticket straight to the top. It’s time to show some loyalty.
~Ollie looks conflicted. He places his head in his hands for a moment, then removes them to show a disgusted but defeated look. He yells “Ollie, Ollie oxen free!” then barrels toward Jacki. Jimmy pushes her forward as Ollie connects with a stiff European uppercut. As Jacki’s body turns, Ollie grabs her head in mid-air and slams her to the mat with a reverse DDT.~
Smith: Ollie Rhule just hit Jacki with Rhule #3! She’s out cold!
~Ollie stands over Jacki’s motionless body with a look of remorse on his face. Both Steve and Jimmy pat him on the shoulders but he quickly shakes both of them off, dropping to the mat and rolling out of the ring. Ollie begins walking back up the entrance ramp as the fans reign boos down upon him. Steve Black, Jimmy Greene, and Corey Feldman all look perplexed for a moment, but eventually go back to their happy-go-lucky ways as they stand over Jacki O’Lantern and pose in the middle of the ring.~
Smith: This is disgusting! I can't believe these two men would violate our lovely Jacki in such a horrible manner!
Hood: Whoa, Violate? Let's work on our verb usage.
Smith: Assault, is that better?
Hood: I mean, yea...but not much.
Smith: Regardless...Jacki with the big tag win tonight only to have it ruined!
Hood: Would you say she got her pumpkin smashed?
Smith: No. I would not! Hopefully she gets some retribution, some revenge next week. This cannot stand!
Hood: Relax...we still got Corey Feldman on OCW TV...a man who, well, looks shockingly similar to Zeus.
Smith: No comment on that one. Folks...we've got one more interview left to air before our leader determines who will face PIC at Decadence for the OCW Title. Let's head backstage to see the fifth and final interview!
~For the final time this evening (thank goodness) we are in Welsh’s office. For once he looks attentive and focused~
Cap Slock: THE FINAL INTERVIEWEE IS HERE, SIR.
~Welsh stands~
Welsh: Well? Send her in! Let’s not keep her waiting!
~The door opens and the Paradigm Champion, Sahara walks in~
Welsh: My gosh...you’re even more beautiful than I’d been led to believe. Welcome to my office, champ. Is there anything I can do for you? Foot rub?
~Welsh looks at Greg, who rubs his hands together~
Welsh: Back massage?
~Welsh points at The Knife Man who slings his knife around while loosening up his shoulders~
Welsh: You name it, you’ve got it, champ!
~Sahara rolls her eyes, but not before adjusting the absolutely stunning Paradigm championship draped over her shoulder~
Sahara: No. I don’t need a back massage, and I sure as hell don’t need a foot rub from any of you neanderthals. What I do need, however, is for one of you idiots to tell me why I’m here? I’m not like the rest of these morons who gotta show up every week or the fans will forget they exist…
I’m Sahara.
I show up when it matters.
And that’s why when my name is on that marquee, the fans show up, too.
~Welsh nods. He looks at Greg and says, “All business. I like it. I like it ALOT.” He leans forward, hands clasped. Both index fingers extend, pointing at the Paradigm Champion~
Welsh: You have been on a tear, recently. I mean, I haven’t been paying much attention to the roster…but I have followed your ascent. TransAtlantic Champion. Paradigm Champion. Hell, some might even say you should have the Savage Title on your resume since you abolished it by defeating that disgusting Nickleman. And, yet, despite all this…you haven’t been given a fair shot at reaching your full potential. Stradermania saw fit to smother your ambition out of jealousy. Well, that’s no longer going to be the case because when I look at you…I see a future FACE of the company. And what a face it is. Mike Best, Matt Meyhu, Aidan Collins…I made all of these wrestlers the stars they are today. I signed them, pushed them and ultimately made them the face of this company. And now…now I want to do the same with you. So, what do you say…are you interested in taking the next step? Are you interested in challenging PIC for the OCW Title?
Sahara: First and foremost, Mike Best?!
~Sahara lets out a condescending little laugh as she raises her eyebrows, feigning surprise at the request. She then slaps a hand against the faceplate of the Paradigm championship on her shoulder~
Sahara: Lemme get this straight, you want me to challenge PIC for a shot at his title?!
~As everyone in the room looks to one another and nod in unison, Sahara lifts a hand~
Sahara: I got a better idea. I’m what’s hot, gentlemen. Me. I’m who people wanna see. I’m the special attraction here. So if PIC is the man he says he is… with his wonderfully conditioned hair and all, the question isn’t whether I’m interested in a shot at him… the question is whether he wants a shot at me?!
~Welsh looks at Greg and whispers, “She is hot.” His eyes turn toward Knife Man as he slowly fingers his blade. Welsh snaps his fingers, getting knife Man to stop acting so pervy. He re-addresses the stunning Paradigm Champ~
Welsh: Now, that is the question, isn’t it? That’s the perspective I should have been viewing this from all along! Okay, so answer me this, champ…can I call you champ? If I can get PIC to agree to face you at Decadence for the OCW Title…will you accept his challenge?
~Sahara’s face somewhat contorts as if she’s mulling over the question. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. An opportunity any and every wrestler dreams of–~
Sahara: Of course you can call me champ, cuz I am the champ. As for the challenge, I don’t know, that sounds like a lotta work… buuuuut–
Welsh: But?
~Sahara shrugs~
Sahara: Eh, no thanks. I reject the challenge, cuz PIC is no challenge. You know what? You should give this opportunity to that mime guy. Or Crash! I mean, he beat me in a match that totally didn’t matter, so he must be better than me!
~Welsh smiles and starts to laugh~
Welsh: Humble. Willing to spread the wealth. It’s clear you’ve got the ferocity of a lion while holding a heart of gold. I’m very, very impressed.
~Sahara hasn’t really done or said anything to warrant such an impression but she’s not gonna exactly challenge Welsh on his glowing perception. We cut back to Smith and Hood~
Smith: Oh no
Hood: Did you piss yourself?
Smith: NO...I did not. I just have this sinking feeling he's going to pick...her.
Hood: What's wrong with that? She's won just about every title this place has to offer.
Smith: Yea, but it's the reasoning behind the choice. He's clearly enamored with her.
Hood: Who isn't? She's WHITE FUCKING HOT.
Smith: I felt good about Crash. Thought Egan might take it...but I think there's a new leader in the clubhouse and that leader is Sahara.
Hood: Well, we're gonna find out soon, won't we.
Smith: At the conclusion of tonight's show we will find out who will face PIC at Decadence for the OCW Title. But...before that we've got a main event to get to. Craze Championship action after this commercial break!
OCW Returns to THE ISLAND in April!
~The Main Event of Massacre is getting set to get underway. Harmon Egan versus Moonlight Rose. The camera cuts to SYNN, looking rather anxious as she stands in front of a TV set back stage, ready to see who her opponent at Decadence is going to be~
Smith: This chick is creepy as hell. I get weird vibes from her.
Hood: Yes, but she is talented, as we saw. Bringing down Dylan Thomas is no easy task, but in her third ever match?
Smith: We are gonna find out very soon just who she'll be facing Decadence, as the main even is next! Egan, Rose, Craze title! Can ya feel it?!
Craze Championship
Harmon Egan (c) (11-0) vs. Moonlight Rose (5-1)
~The crowd is ripe and ready! It’s main event time...the first main event of 2023~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...it is now time for our Main Event of the evening!!!
~Huge ovation! The lights in the arena go down a spotlight shines down on Belvedere~
Belvedere: And Now.
~The opening cords of Meteor By SLATYDOG begins to play the first lyrics~
RETURN BACK UP INTO THE SKY AGAIN.
~Moonlight Rose is illuminated by spotlight on the ramp. The purple and black cape waving behind her as she walks to ring. she high fives a couple fans on her way down to the ring. she climbs onto the apron and to the top turn buckle. which cues the ring announcer.~
Belvedere: Hailing from Tokyo, Japan now residing in Toronto Canada. She is Professional wrestling royalty. she is OCW's Super Hero. she is... MOON... LIGHT... ROOOOOOOOSE.
~She hops off the top and is checked by the ref. she awaits the undefeated champion~
Smith: Moonlight Rose with the biggest match of her life.
Hood: You think the school of mediocrity got her prepared for this?
Smith: That promo was a little harsh. Easton trains his students hard!
Hood: I mean, as hard as he knows how to train...which, well, is mediocre.
Belvedere: And, her opponent…
~ A pair of black rimmed eyes open up on the main screen as the arena is bathed in white and the song starts its opening beats. When the song comes to its crescendo the white light is intermixed with violet whirling lights as the main screen shows shots of Harmony in action intermixed with flowing Rorshach inkblots. Harmony appears at the top of the ramp and books it to the ring, sliding in under the bottom room "Edge style" and crawling to the camera at mat level. He shoots the camera a confident smirk and kips up to his feet, ready for action.~
Belvedere: From Parts Unknown...standing 5’10 and weighing in at 175lbs...he is the undefeated Craze Champion...he is...Harmon ‘Harmony’ Egan!!!
~Egan removes the belt and hands it over to Scruff. Scruff shows the belt off...it’s nice and shiny. We get a look at Moonlight staring up at it from her corner. Scruff hands it to Belvedere, who exits the ring with the belt in his hands. Scruff then signals for the bell...it sounds and we’re ready to go~
Smith: And here we go! Can Moonlight Rose be the first wrestler to defeat Harmon Egan?
Hood: No.
Smith: You seem awfully sure.
Hood: If Scott Syren can’t do it. If her fuckin mentor can’t do it...what makes anybody think she can?
Smith: Stranger things have happened, Hood. And, Moonlight has been on a roll lately!
~Egan and Rose meet in the center of the ring. Egan might not say much (if anything) but words aren’t necessary to express the disdain he has for Rose and the ‘challenge’ she poses. She looks up at him, eager for the challenge of her life. She throws a forearm to the side of Egan’s head. He barely moves. He looks down at her, smirking motioning for her to do it again. She does...no effect. He motions that he wants her to give him a lariat. She looks around...the fans cheer her on. She hits the ropes, bounces off, and fires forward with a lariat!! Egan, however, merely takes half a step back. He motions for her to give him another one. The fans start to boo, slightly...disagreeing with the arrogance Egan is showing in the face of his challenger. She hits the ropes one more time, yells out and rears back as far as she can to deliver the lariat of her life...only to have Egan spin around and nearly take her head off with a lariat of his own! Rose is turned upside down, inside out, landing hard on the canvas, arching her back in pain. Egan stands over her, expression on his face saying ‘told ya so’ as the fans continue to boo~
Smith: Egan foretold this earlier in the week when he cited Rose’s moveset and her weight being, well, a wrestling contradiction.
Hood: It’s physics, man. Big fucks small. All. The. Time.
Smith: Well that’s bad news for our Craze Champion considering he’s smaller than just about every main event player in the company right now.
Hood: He’s got Corey Smith. Corey Smith has a very big brain.
Smith: Keep moving those goal posts.
~Egan snares Rose by the hair, snaring her from the mat and whipping her, violently into the nearest corner. She hits hard. Egan charges forward and cracks her in the face with a vicious knee lift. Rose is already reeling. Egan slings her out of the corner...she tumbles over, head first, landing on her ass. Egan sprints ahead and he blasts her in the back with a kick!! She leans back, arching her back in pain. Egan jumps up into the air and comes down with a double foot stomp into her midsection! Rose rolls over, holding her stomach in pain...kicking her feet against the mat~
Smith: And it’s all Harmon Egan at this juncture. This is why he’s undefeated. This is why he’s the Craze Champion. This is why many think Marcus Welsh is going to pick HIM to face PIC at the PPV for the OCW Title.
Hood: I mean, the future is right in front of us, Smith. No since in denying it any further. Egan is THAT guy.
Smith: Could very well be.
~Egan wraps both arms around her midsection, pulling her off the mat with a dead lift before tossing her over with a gut wrench suplex!! Rose lands hard, rolling onto her front, holding her guts. Egan pops back to his feet...fresh as can be. He throws a vicious soccer style kick into her ribs. She flips over, onto her back. She sits up. Egan kicks her...almost playfully...but with a little more aggression than playful would suggest. He repeats this kick over and over, backing her into a corner. She sits, rested against the bottom buckle. Egan takes his foot and he jabs it into Rose’s face several times before stepping back and running forward with a vicious kick...but Rose moves! Egan’s foot SMASHES into the bottom buckle!!! He stumbles back, holding his right leg in pain. Rose is hanging over the bottom rope, trying to gather herself...the fans cheer, urging her on while Egan is stunned. She grabs the second rope...then the top rope...she spins around and yells, charging at Egan...only for Harmon to scoop her up, spin around and plant her in the center of the ring with a spinning body slam! BOOM! Tremendous impact! Rose arches her back in pain as Egan sits back, rubbing his foot~
Smith: Dang it! I thought Moonlight had an opening there.
Hood: I mean, she did. Then she screamed like a fuckin banshee to let Harmon know she was coming.
Smith: She was merely feeling the moment.
Hood: Is this what Easton teaches people? To scream when you’re sneaking up on someone? No wonder they are all so mediocre!
~Egan returns to his feet...a slight limp, but nothing worrisome. He stands over Rose, at her feet...she reaches up with her legs and kicks at him...he catches her right leg and twists it, violently! She yells out, rolling over, holding her right leg. Egan bends over, snaring her right foot and dragging her back toward the center of the ring by the right leg...he holds it up, hands around the right foot with the heel pointed in the air and he twists it once again! Rose screams in pain, reaching for her right leg. Egan doesn’t relent...he stomps and stomps on her right leg...the fans continue to boo~
Smith: And now he’s zeroing in on her leg...setting her up for his devastating submission finisher.
Hood: Yea, he had some fun early on...she fought back. No sense in tempting fate much longer. Put her away and ascend to your rightful spot on the card.
Smith: That’s what he’s thinking, no doubt. We got the point. He’s bigger than she is. Now, if you’re as good as you say you are, put her away.
~Rose attempts to crawl toward the ropes...but Egan grabs her leg and drags her into the center of the ring before applying a single leg boston crab. He rears back, applying tons of pressure to her right leg. Scruff drops down, asking Rose if she wants to give it up...but she is refusing. That title is so close...she’s worked so hard for this match. Egan leans back, grimacing...giving it everything he’s got to weaken that leg beyond repair. Rose looks up, fighting through the pain. The fans cheer her on. She sees the ropes...she digs her hands and nails into the mat...she crawls and moves and crawls and moves. Egan continues to wrench and torque the knee. Rose reaches out and she grabs the bottom rope! The crowd goes wild!! Egan falls over to the mat before rising to his feet, angry. Rose hangs over the bottom rope, gasping for air...her leg throbbing with pain. Egan lunges forward with a sit out dropkick into the side of her head!! She spins to the side, off the bottom rope and back onto the mat inside the ring, holding her face in pain. More boos from the fans~
Smith: Moonlight Rose is in bad shape. She needs something...anything to shift this match in an alternative direction.
Hood: She just wasn’t ready, man. It takes several beatings before you realize what you have to do to compete at Harmon’s level.
Smith: It’s not over yet, Hood.
Hood: Might as well be. The ship’s hit the iceberg. It’s all a matter of time at this point.
~Rose fights through the pain and crawls back toward the ropes...she reaches for the bottom rope only to get yanked back toward the center of the ring by Harmon. She slaps at the ring, reaches out, claws at the mat...she does everything she can to fight from getting pulled back into SUBMISSION HELL...but it’s too late, Harmon’s got her. He focuses back on the right leg and is looking to apply an ankle lock. Moonlight twists and turns, doing what she can to fight it off. Harmon’s got her right leg hooked...but her left leg is free. She kicks around with it...she finally manages to get it up against Harmon’s body and she kicks upward as hard as she can! CRACK!!! The heel smacks Harmon in his jaw!!! He stumbles back into a corner, stunned! The crowd goes wild! Moonlight crawls for the nearest corner and dives into the middle buckle, leaning against it for rest~
Smith: Yes! Here we go! C’mon, Moonlight Rose! You’ve got to stay on him!
Hood: She smacked him right in the mouth. Dude can’t even talk and you’re going to kick him in his mouth? Seems kinda rude and insensitive.
Smith: She’s doing what she can to survive, Hood. He was about to break her ankle.
Hood: She doesn’t need ankles, anyway. I’ve seen her dance. It’s not great.
~Harmon shakes off the momentary confusion, rubbing his wounded jaw. He sees Moonlight across the ring, leaning into the middle buckle. He fires up and charges as hard and fast as he can. He leaps into the air with both knees into his chest...he comes down...but Rose moves!! Harmon’s knees SLAM into the middle buckle!! His body shoots backward, landing on his back in the center of the ring...he flips over, onto his knees...he’s wobbly, his eyes aren’t focused. Rose pulls herself up using the ropes...she’s hobbling tremendously...but she stumbles towards him...she hooks his head under hear arm...but Egan fires up and bullies her back toward the corner...Rose jumps up, placing her feet on the middle buckle and she kicks off, spinning around and dropping Egan on his head with a Tornado DDT!!! The fans go wild!!! Egan sits up before falling back onto the mat!! Rose crawls over for a pin! Scruff slides in...the fans count along~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!!
Smith: Kick out by Egan! But it was close...very close!
Hood: What the fuck is even happening right now? This woman was DEAD
Smith: She’s showing the fighting spirit that Easton Alexander taught her. Hang in there. Keep fighting! Never give up!
~Rose quickly hooks Egan into a front face lock. She gets to her feet, holding onto Egan’s head. He fires up, bullying her back into a corner. He rips his head free...he fires forward with a lariat...but Rose ducks! Egan’s arms smashes into the top buckle. Rose takes him over from behind with a roll up but Egan kicks out immediately, sending Rose flying up...but she lands on her feet. Egan rolls over the back of his head to his knees where he’s immediately caught with a dropkick from Rose!! He falls back onto the mat, reeling. Rose immediately reaches for her right leg, holding it in pani~
Smith: Tremendous awareness and quickness by Rose. She’s got to stay one step ahead of Egan to keep him subdued.
Hood: Yea, but that leg is fucked up. And, well, as we saw...she can’t exactly overpower this guy.
Smith: She’s got some work to do, for sure...but she’s doing it. She’s making the most out of what she’s got!
~Egan rolls onto all fours and crawls into a corner...he uses the ropes to pull himself up. He turns to face Rose. She struggles to her feet, basically on one leg. She hobbles his way...she throws a weak right kick at him...he snares her right leg, smiling. His smile and eyes find Rose as if to say “You fucked up.” But Rose smiles back...leaping up and cracking him in the head with an Enziguri!!!! Egan spins around...Rose takes him over with another roll up! This time she holds on, gripping the tights a bit! Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Smith: So close! She lured him in by throwing him that damaged leg only to blast him in the head with an enziguri!
Hood: Calculated risk, I guess. But, fuck...if she wins this...Egan’s ruined.
Smith: How do you figure that?
Hood: He’s our undefeated pride and joy, man. When he loses...it’s got to be against a PIC or a Bifford...or even a Sahara. Not Moonlight fucking Rose.
Smith: Competition is competition, Hood. If Rose defeats Egan that means she’s earned it.
~The fans are going wild! Rose finally has some sustained momentum. Egan tries to crawl away from Rose. She’s back on her feet, limping his way. He reaches a corner and pulls himself up, but she latches on from behind with a sleeper...she drags him back toward the center of the ring...Egan throws his right foot back, trying to clip Rose’s injured right leg...but she avoids it and shifts the sleeper into an inverted front face lock before dropping Egan with an inverted DDT! Egan is down, holding his neck. Rose sits up, reaching for her wounded right leg, rubbing it. The fans chant “ROSE! ROSE! ROSE!” She can sense it. They can feel it. The champ is on the ropes!~
Smith: This is it, Moonlight! The opening is there...take it!
Hood: This is some WEAK ASS BOOKING
Smith: Let’s go, Moonlight!
~Rose returns to her feet and she looks out at the fans. Could she? Is she? Is she going NUCLEAR~
Smith: Don’t tell me
Hood: I didn’t say anything.
Smith: Is she going for her BURNING HAMMER? That’s the nuclear option, Hood. It’s only in her repertoire in the event nothing else will work.
Hood: Well, she is facing Harmon Egan. The undefeated Craze Champion. Nothing else has put this dude away.
~She pulls Egan off the mat! The fans are on their feet. Egan is still out of it. She bends down and positions Harmon...she lifts him up...she struggles...the fans urge her on! She yells out and rises up...she’s got Egan on her shoulders in position for the BURNING HAMMER! The fans go wild!! Rose looks into the camera...and then...HER RIGHT LEG GIVES OUT! She falls to the mat, Egan landing on top of her! The fans are crestfallen. Their cheers smothered into silence~
Smith: No!
Hood: Looks like the nuclear option has it’s consequences.
Smith: Her leg wasn’t strong enough. She had it, Hood! With a fresh leg she would have dropped Egan right on his head!
Hood: Yea, but her leg wasn’t fresh, was it?
~Egan rolls off of Rose and lays on his back...he sits up, looking over at the challenger. She is on her side, holding her right leg. Egan shakes off some of the impact he’s sustained from the challenger’s offense. He seems to have washed away some of that arrogance, realizing that his title reign is in real danger. He grabs Rose by the hair and gets to his feet, dragging her along...he spins Rose around...she hobbles on one foot. He shoves her into the corner...he rears back and delivers a vicious knife edged chop across her chest! Her arms fly back over the top rope as she leans forward, head hanging toward the canvas. Egan straightens her up before delivering another knife edged chop! Rose leans forward even more...she’d fall straight to the mat if her arms weren’t draped over the top rope~
Smith: It appears Moonlight Rose has exhausted all her options. That leg is too wounded.
Hood: The sun is rising. The moon is waning. Adios, Mediocre Rose.
Smith: Far from mediocre, Hood. She’s pushed Harmon about as far as anyone.
~Egan backs up...all the way to the center of the ring. He measures Rose up before charging forward...Rose’s arms wrap tightly around the top rope as she kicks her legs up...she wraps them around Egan’s head as he runs forward and slings him around, using his momentum to slam him face first into the middle buckle with a hurricanrana!!! Egan’s head and body snap back!! He tumbles toward the center of the ring, flat on his back! Rose looks up...the fans are going wild!! She begins to crawl toward the corner~
Smith: Yes! If she can ascend that corner and hit OTK...this one is over!
Hood: SON OF A BITCH
Smith: C’mon, Moonlight! You’re so close!
~Rose reaches the corner...she drags herself up...she starts to climb...slowly she gets to where she’s seated on the top buckle, facing Egan. Egan hasn’t moved. She starts to stand, putting all the weight on her left leg. She gets to her feet...she’s a bit wobbly, a bit unstable. But she straightens up and looks down at Egan...he has yet to move. The fans are on their feet. Rose takes in a breath, she musters all the courage and strength she has to turn around, back facing the mat and kick off with OTK (Corkscrew Moonsault)!!! She soars through the air...flying high before coming down toward Egan. Egan lifts his legs up and he kips up off the mat!!! His body narrowly rising just underneath Rose’s! Rose SLAMS into the mat, hard!!! Egan spins around, he grabs her right leg and adroitly locks in Mundi Comedentis!!!! Rose screams in pain as her right leg is on the verge of snapping. To preserve her health and prevent injury, she taps out! Scruff calls for the bell. The fans boo~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...AND STILL CRAZE CHAMPION...HARMON EGAN!!!!!!
Smith: NO!
Hood: Fuck yes! Harmon, my man!
Smith: Heart breaking! Absolutely heart breaking!
~Egan keeps the hold on after the bell. The ref taps Egan on the shoulder as Rose continues to writhe in pain. ~
Smith: He’s not breaking the hold!
Hood: Good! Finally some real action!
~ Egan looks down at Rose. His face is nothing but stone. He doesn’t even heed the call of his manager Corey Smith at ringside as he calls for Egan to stop! The fans seem divided, with some relishing the Bastard’s mean streak while others “boo” the plain poor sportsmanship. Looking concerned, Corey rolls into the ring!
BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT.
~The crowd’s confusion spreads through the OCW Arena. The front row starts to cheer. They can see what’s happening before we can~
Smith: We apologize everybody the power must be going out I hope you can still hear-
~The lights come back as Easton Alexander is staring down Harmon Egan! The crowd almost burst into flames~
Hood: What?!
Smith: We haven’t seen Easton in months!
~Harmon stops in his tracks as this ghost from his past is standing in front of him. Easton rushes Harmon and he ducks a lariat, he slides out of the ring towards the entrance side.~
Smith: Easton is back and he nearly took Egan’s head off with that shot!
Hood: Are you fucking serious? Egan just won a grueling match and NOW is the time Easton wants to confront him. Fuckin Canadians, man.
Smith: You’re conveniently ignoring the fact that Egan was attempting to maim Rose.
Hood: He was trying to help her. But demolishing her leg she’d have to get titanium replacements making her like, the bionic woman or whatever. Egan is a damn saint.
Smith: Whatever. Keep on spinning.
~Corey, who has now rejoined his client outside the ring, points down the ramp toward the ring at Easton. Easton stands at the ropes, staring back at Corey and the Craze Champion. Egan tosses the Craze title over his shoulder...he’s soaked in sweat and still catching his breath. Alongside his manager, they glare a hole right through Easton Alexander~
Smith: Those two don’t play, Hood. And they’ve got Easton in their sights.
Hood: Welcome back, Easton Alexander. I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.
~Suddenly, the crowd rises~
Smith: Holy smokes...look!
Hood: Egan! Corey! Behind you!
~Corey gets BLASTED from behind by a chair shot!! He falls to the ground. Egan turns and CRACK! He gets his head crushed with a chair shot...the same chair Easton threw at them. Egan is down and standing over him, holding the warped chair is...SYNN~
Smith: It’s SYNN the #1 contender to the Craze Championship!
Hood: She was watching the match. She saw who her opponent is gonna be...and, well, she’s softening him up.
Smith: That’s IF he doesn’t get selected by Welsh to face PIC at the end of the night.
Hood: No doubt.
~SYNN drops the chair and she picks up the Craze Title, staring at her reflection in the shiny metal reflection. She looks up and sees Easton looking back at her. The fans are going wild...Easton is back, in the ring. SYNN has made her presence felt and is now holding the Craze Title while it’s owner, the undefeated Harmon Egan, has been laid out...it’s chaos! Anarchy!~
Smith: SYNN standing tall tonight...with an assist from Easton Alexander!
Hood: If Egan faces SYNN at the PPV for the Craze Title...what role will Easton play?
Smith: I don’t know...but I’m sure we’ll find out! Folks, we’ve got one final commercial break and, when we return, we find out who Marcus Welsh has selected to face PIC for the OCW Title at Decadence! Stick around!
~We cut to commercial~
~The crowd inside the OCW Arena seem to get restless as the last match of the evening has ended and seemingly nothing else will take place. Suddenly the opening bars of “Raise Your Hands” by Bon Jovi begin to blast throughout the building and the faithful go wild. Many rush back to their seats just in time to see the OCW World Champion, PIC, step out onto the entrance ramp with the title draped over his shoulder. He’s as jacked up as the fans are, and begins singing along with them as he heads to the ring, slapping hands along the way. He slides under the bottom rope as the first verse comes to a close, then lifts his belt in the air as the first “RAISE YOUR HANDS” of the chorus hits. The crowd continues singing along as PIC hits every corner, popping the crowd in the process. A huge grin is etched onto his face as he drops down from the last buckle and the song begins to fade out.~
OCW Faithful: SHOW-STOP-PA! SHOW-STOP-PA! SHOW-STOP-PA!
~PIC takes it all in with the biggest smile. He never takes these moments for granted. Once the chant dies down he grabs a microphone and begins to speak.~
PIC: Key West, how we doing tonight?
~Another eruption, this time louder than the first. PIC’s not too proud and strong to miss a cheap pop when he can get it. He waits another few seconds before continuing.~
PIC: Nine days ago I walked into the frigid cold air of Fox Creek, Alberta, Canada and did exactly what I said I would do. I went toe to toe with two OCW legends in Mike Zybala and Hall of Famer, The Big Bifford. I took every bit of offense either of them could throw at me, took risks a normal man would be too afraid to take and I stand here before you today STILL your OCW World Champion!
~The crowd cheers loudly once again. A faint chant echoes but is too small to make out. PIC pauses to listen as the chant begins to catch on.~
OCW Faithful: GOAT! GOAT! GOAT! GOAT!
~PIC smiles.~
PIC: I’m nowhere near ready to declare anything like that, but I appreciate the sentiment. This company has seen the very best in its illustrious history, starting with the first ever OCW champion, Lurrr, to guys like Scott Syren, Scorpion, Andrew Logan, Paul Paras, Titan 3, Matt Meyhu, Chad Vargas… the list goes on and on. Some of those men I had the privilege to tussle with in other organizations many years ago with varying degrees of success, but their legacies in OCW speak for themselves and it’s an honor to be named among them as champion.
~The crowd applauds, though quieter than before.~
PIC: I will admit, however, that I’m building quite the resume for myself. I’ve captured wins over legends like Dylan Thomas, TLS, and Mike Zybala. I’ve defeated OCW Hall of Famers in Bob Grenier, Outcast, and The Big Bifford. I’ve been in this company for nine months and I have yet to be pinned or submitted in singles competition. 2022 truly was one EPIC year!
~PIC pauses once again as another smattering of cheers moves throughout the arena.~
PIC: Which brings me to why I’m here tonight… to usher in 2023 with the announcement we’ve all been waiting for. Earlier this evening we heard from all of the competitors that could potentially be my opponent at Decadence later this month. We listened as Sahara droned on and on about her accomplishments, some real and some imaginary. We heard all of the Bastards tell us why they would, or in some cases, would not make the ideal challenger for the world title. Of those five, I’ve never shared a ring with The Nickleman or Harmon Egan, though our paths will no doubt eventually cross. TLS and myself defeated Sahara and CYPH3R in the Margarita Mix on our way to winning the whole thing in the only contest between the two of us. Crash Rodriguez and I had a barn burner of a match a few months back in which I barely managed to squeak out a victory. And then… there’s Thunder Knuckles.
~The crowd boos heavily.~
PIC: It’s no secret that TK and I have been having some issues over the past two months. He’s enlisted the Bastards to bloody me on more than one occasion, and he’s made it abundantly clear he thinks he deserves a shot at this title. At the time he challenged me I didn’t think he had done enough in OCW to warrant a shot, so I issued a challenge of my own. I offered to defend the world title against him IF Them No Good Bastards could defeat myself and TLS at Rumble in the Bronx, and wouldn’t you know it… he did just that.
~The crowd boos loudly again. PIC motions for them to die down.~
PIC: Put me in the hospital too and almost caused me to have to vacate the belt, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is, Thunder Knuckles was successful in beating me for the tag titles, and as a man of my word, it’s only fitting he receives the reward he’s due. So on Sunday, January 29, at OCW Decadence… Thunder Knuckles is going to be the first sacrificial bastard being led to the slaughterhouse.
~’Obsession’ begins to play and the NEW OCW leader, Marcus Welsh, emerges from backstage. The crowd BOOS. PIC looks on…he’s angered. He hasn’t dealt with Welsh much…but he’s been in the business long enough to know that when an authority figure shows up unannounced…it's never good news. Welsh reaches the ring, hustles up the steps and receives a mic. He motions for the truck to kill his music~
Marcus Welsh: Great words, PIC. You truly know how to move and capture an audience. Your run has been nothing short of historic. Starting with the EPIC SUMMER as Amick Dogeron entertained OCW before removing the mask to inform everyone watching at home that it was the legendary PIC all along. You parlayed that excitement and momentum into a Margarita Mix victory…doing the impossible, carrying TLS to a meaningful event victory. And, well, then you managed to earn an OCW Title shot where you defeated the 2021 Wrestler of the Year, Outcast for the OCW Championship. In fact, you beat him so bad that he died. Basically.
~More boos~
Marcus Welsh: You kept this place afloat while the Straders did everything in their power to sink it with shitty booking decisions. One after the other after the other after the other. So, for that…I say thank you. You were a great leader during a shitty era in OCW. But that was then…this is now.
~PIC smirks as if to say ‘of course’~
Marcus Welsh: I’m back and the glory days are sure to follow. It’s time to put the past where it belongs, inside the Hall of Fame. A static location where fans can go and be reminded of what once was before returning to the OCW Arena and being entertained by what IS. And, what is, you ask? The future. The future is now, PIC. And, if you were paying attention, I interviewed five future stars to find out just who should be the one to face you at Decadence and get the first crack at leading OCW into this new era.
~PIC is leaning up against a corner, OCW Title draped over his shoulder. He’s been through this too many times to get THAT worked up. He just waits for the eventual hammer to drop~
Marcus Welsh: There was Nickleman. But, we can rule him out. We also had Crash Rodriguez…and while I feel there’s something there, I’m just not ready to pull the trigger on him, just yet. Then there’s Harmon Egan. I like the kid but he just doesn’t ‘scream’ FACE of the company, to me. Which leaves two names.
~The fans chant “TK”. Not because they like him but because they wanna see PIC get his hands on the man with thunderous knuckles~
Marcus Welsh: Yes, yes, Thunder Knuckles is one of those two names. And as much as I’d like to give you all what you want…the deal that was made between you two was NOT agreed upon during my watch. So, as far as I’m concerned…it doesn’t exist. And if you thought I would ever give that man an OCW Title shot…well, you don’t know me very well. He’s the very antithesis of what a champion should be. So, TK…just like the rest of those bastards is OUT. The future FACE of this place and your challenger at Decadence will be none other than the OCW Paradigm Champion…a wrestler with class, dignity, and aura…you will be facing the one, the only, Saha…
~Before Welsh can finish his announcement, he’s blasted with a big boot to the face from the side.~
Smith: Good God!
~PIC turns to see Nickleman standing over Welsh and looks to attack when he’s jumped from behind by Crash Rodriguez and Thunder Knuckles. The two pummel him to the ground with rights and lefts, then begin kicking him over and over. TK lifts PIC to his feet and holds him for Crash, who hooks him and delivers his Total Loss finisher!~
Hood: Hell yes! This is awesome!
Smith: Someone get out here now!
~Crash and TK are all smiles as they look over to Nickleman, who pulls Welsh to his feet with his head and arms hooked, dropping him with the Devil Hook Drop. Nickleman hops up quickly and shares a high five with his bastard brothers. The three turn their attention to PIC, who lies motionless in the ring. The crowd reigns down a chorus of boos as Nickleman and Crash help lift PIC to his feet, holding him. TK mocks the crowd before kicking PIC in the gut and dropping him with the Thunder Strike. TK hops up as fans begin throwing trash into the ring. He grabs a microphone and begins to speak, turning toward Marcus in the process.~
TK: What was that Welsh? I couldn’t hear you with the Nickleman’s foot in your mouth.
~The heat from the crowd is deafening inside the OCW arena. TK drops to his knees and grabs Marcus’ head. He begins driving the end of the microphone into his face over and over as blood begins to flow freely. Crash and Nickleman return their focus on PIC, continuing to lay in shot after shot to the defenseless champion.~
Smith: This is total chaos. Those bastards are going to kill Marcus Welsh and the world champ.
Hood: It serves them right, trying to cheat TK out of what is rightfully his.
Smith: Even if that were true, PIC was willing to honor their deal and give TK a shot at the belt. Why is he being attacked?
Hood: Because the Brotherhood of Bastards can do whatever the hell they want. Who’s gonna stop them?
~TK hops off of Marcus and turns to the other two. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the wrench they used to bash PIC’s face in at Rumble in the Bronx. The crowd is relentless and continue to throw trash at the group, much to their pleasure. Crash and Nickleman lift PIC off the mat once again as TK pulls back to hit him with the wrench. Suddenly, a commotion at the entrance ramp catches TK’s attention. He turns, as does the entire arena, to see the Portal Potty seemingly wheeling itself towards the ring.~
Smith: The Portal Potty!
Hood: Son of a bitch, what now?
~Crash and Nickleman drop PIC to the mat as the three turn their full attention to the Portal Potty. As it nears the ring, it begins to levitate. The crowd seems excited, but hesitant not knowing what to expect. The door to the Portal Potty violently bursts open as a man leaps onto the bastards with a cross body block.~
Smith: TLS!!! TLS is back!
~The OCW faithful come out with the loudest pop of the night as TLS pops to his feet. TK is the first to get up and is met with a stiff clothesline. Crash pops up but TLS kicks him and hooks him under his arm before bouncing off the second rope and nailing Crash with a tornado DDT! Rodriguez falls to the outside as Nickleman makes it to his feet but TLS lands another kick. He lifts Nickleman high and holds him for a delayed brainbuster!~
Smith: That’s the Soulbuster! TLS is single handedly destroying these bastards!
~TK looks to get up but TLS immediately slams him to the mat. He looks toward the turnbuckle as the roof comes off the place. He hops up to the top and in one fluid motion, hits a somersault leg drop onto TK. Crash reaches in and pulls TK out of the ring as the three seemingly want no more of TLS. TLS stands tall in the ring with the crowd going wild. He looks over to Marcus who is still out, then turns to PIC who also isn’t moving.~
Smith: TLS has come to aid his friend and ally at the best possible time.
Hood: When will this movie end? I feel like I’ve been watching it for 20 years.
~TLS goes over to PIC and looks to try to wake him up, but instead reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He carefully unfolds it before holding it up to the crowd. As the camera zooms in…~
Hood: OH SHIT!
Smith: Is that? It is! TLS has just pulled out the Oh Shit! Contract he won at Truth or Consequences last July!
~TLS places the contract on PIC’s chest before dropping down and pinning him.~
Smith: TLS is pinning the champ!
Hood: Hahaha. So much for friendship!
Smith: Where’s the ref?
~TLS stays draped across PIC and smacks his own hand to the mat for the three before standing up and raising his hands. The crowd is mixed. TLS looks to the corner and sees the OCW World Title belt. He smiles as he walks over and picks it up, holding it high in the air.~
Smith: I have no idea what’s happening right now.
Hood: TLS is the new champ!
Smith: Is he? PIC was ready to give TK a world title shot. Marcus Welsh said it would be Sahara. And now… is PIC even the champ? What the hell is going on?
Hood: I have no idea, but with Marcus Welsh stealing the company from Dean and Lurrr and TLS seemingly stealing the title from PIC, there’s only one thing I can say about it all. Classic OCW, baby!
Smith: Indeed it is. We have no answers, but we’re out of time. Hopefully things will be cleared up next week. Good night!
~We get a tight shot of TLS holding the OCW Title high in the air with the fans chanting “HOLY SHIT!” Bodies are laying everywhere with one man standing tall. We slowly fade out~