Massacre121222

EARLIER IN THE DAY

~The scene opens in the catering area where OCW Commissioner Victoria Strader is getting something to eat before the busy evening of Monday Night Massacre begins. She grabs a Cherry Coke at the end and sits down at a table with Mad Max and Knux presumably to go over security details. ~

Mad Max: Hey, Vee. The Brothers of Mayhem lead by your Uncle John are on call and ready to go whenever you want.

~Victoria nods while cracking open her drink. Knux looks uneasy.~

KNUX: Are we sure this is the way we want to go, Miss Strader?

~Victoria sighs.~

Victoria Strader: We can’t deny it was Solomon Cain that took Outcast during the Hall of Fame induction this past Halloween. I’m trying to rebuild my relationship with my sister and this is the best way to go to not only do that, but show we aren’t going to allow kidnapping to happen again. It’s happened to a child and an adult this past year.

~Knux nods.~

KNUX: Shouldn’t we call law enforcement?

Victoria Strader: No. They are useless, especially in this State. With my Uncle John, we’ll know it’s been taken care of.

~Knux can’t argue and knows better with her.~

Mad Max: As soon as Solomon arrives to the arena I’ll let John know.

Victoria Strader: Good. I want this settle tonight.

~Victoria takes a bite of her food and a thought comes to mind.~

Victoria Strader: Also, before I forget, have we started to take the steps to remove that PORTAL POTTY from the premises? We can’t allow what happened to me, Zybala, Who’re and Outcast to happen to anyone else. I can’t believe that fucking thing is still here.

~Knux pauses, thinking~

KNUX: Yes, ma’am. It’s set up to be moved to a secure location and after tonight it will not be accessible to anyone.

~ CAP SLOCK comes running up to the table, out of breath, looking stressed out. Victoria looks up to him. ~

Victoria Strader: What is it CAP?

CAP SLOCK: MA’AM WE HAVE AN ISSUE.

Victoria Strader: What do you mean, an issue?

~ CAP SLOCK pulls an iPad out from his suit jacket and hands it to the Commissioner. On screen there is three porta-potties being monitored by the security cameras but it’s a video as the arrow image in the middle of the screen signals as such. Strader looks up at CAP, slightly irritated yet concerned. ~

Victoria Strader: Why am I looking at three portable toilets, CAP?

CAP SLOCK: JUST HIT PLAY MA’AM.

~ Victoria hits play and the video starts. THE LOST SOUL enters onto the screen, and he looks very uncomfortable. ~

TLS: Damnit I gotta piss! Been holding it too long. Should’ve pissed on one of those BASTARDS.

~The Lost Soul opens the middle one and steps inside. ~

Victoria Strader: Why am I watching TLS take a - - - no, CAP. Tell me that isn’t the- - -

~ Suddenly the PORTAL POTTY starts to vibrate and shake.

TLS: YOU GOTTA BE SHITTIN- - -

~ The PORTAL POTTY stops shaking and the door swings open and no one is inside anymore. Victoria hits ‘stop’ and shakes her head. She looks to Knux and Max. ~

Victoria Strader: I want that fucking thing off site and locked up tighter than Fort Knox!

~ Max and Knux follow CAP SLOCK off screen as Victoria shakes her head. ~

Victoria Strader: How many more lives is that thing going to fuckin’ ruin?!

OCW Presents: Massacre
LIVE! December 12th 2022
FROM: OCW ARENA
KEY WEST, FL

~ The Massacre Intro video starts to play as “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns’N’Roses plays in the background as we get a shot of BOB holding their OCW Tag Team Titles up in the air, Lissandra kissing A-Lister Dylan Thomas, followed by a shot of Victoria Strader presenting Sahara the Paradigm Championship, Harmon Egan holding his OCW Craze Title above his head, Tearra Skye hitting a Swanton on Dylan Thomas, Sahara yelling at her Reservoir Dogs, Victoria Strader microphone in hand laying down the law, SYNN making people uncomfortable invading personal space, a battered PIC holding the OCW Title high, and finally a menacing stare from the mask-less Lost Soul. We switch from video to the OCW faithful inside the historic OCW Arena as the camera pans around, catching signs from the Faithful.~

LONG LIVE PRESIDENT DEAN
WELSH WHO?
GIVE HIM NEW SHOES, ZYBALA!
HEY LISSANDRA I’LL SHOW YOU A WINNER... IN MY PANTS!
I’D CARVE JACKI AN O’LANTERN
I MISS BRIM
VICTORIA SHOULD BUY OCW

~ The OCW Faithful are buzzing tonight for the last Massacre of 2022 as Victoria Strader is giving the OCW talent the holidays off to prepare for Hardwired to Self-Destruct. The camera’s eventually pan down to SMITH and HOOD, the legendary commentary team. ~

Smith: Welcome folks, to another edition of MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE! I am Smith, and with me is Hood.

Hood: Thank god I can get away from you and everyone for a couple weeks and prepare to for the last show of the year!

Smith: We have a great line up tonight with Khloe Cox and Jacki O’Lantern making her debut! As well as Dylan Thomas taking on the number one contender for the Paradigm title! And a big preview of the Hardwired to Self-Destruct main event with The Big Bifford taking on Mike Zybala in our main event.

Hood: Sad state of affairs when Zybala is two main events this month.

Smith: That’s rude.

Hood: Yeah, but it’s true.

Smith: Anyway, tonight I am told the Commissioner is going to be announcing the rest of New Year’s Eve Pay-Per-View card. With Solomon Cain indefinitely suspended and TLS lost to the PORTAL POTTY, there is no one to challenge BOB to the OCW Tag Team titles!

Hood: I can’t believe that thing has been in the building the whole time.

~ “Just A Girl” hits the sound system and the Commissioner walks out on the stage to a round of cheers from the OCW Faithful. She struts down to the ring with purpose and a microphone in hand. Belvedere being the gentleman he is, he holds the ropes down for Victoria to step through. Her music dies down as an OCW chant starts up.

OCW Faithful: O-C-W! O-C-W! O-C-W!

Smith: The Faithful are loud tonight!

Hood: Good thing I brought my ear plugs. They serve multiple purposes like blocking out you.

~ Smith shakes his head as Hood smirks and laughs. Victoria lifts the microphone up. ~

Victoria Strader: Welcome everyone to the last Massacre of the year! And to start us off, I unfortunately have some bad news. Earlier today The Lost Soul stepped into the dreaded PORTAL POTTY confusing it for a regular portable toilet. As well, Solomon Cain has been relieved of his duties due to his actions last week as well as it has come that he was the one behind the attack on the late Christian “Outcast” Cain.

~ The fans are distraught at the news, as is Smith. Hood? Hood couldn’t care less being the dick he is. ~

Smith: So wait, that means there is no one to take on the Brotherhood of Bastards at Hardwired to Self-Destruct?

~ Seemingly hearing Smith’s question, Victoria has an answer. ~

Victoria Strader: I approached The Skyewalkers to replace Solomon and TLS as Tearra Skye did come close to earning a tag title shot but unfortunately Miss Skye suffered a torn ACL at the Rumble but don’t worry, I have found a team to take on the Bastards but first I need to address to Death March match that was supposed to open Hardwired to Self-Destruct. Marvellous Mike Mason is on the campaign trail and has had to pull out of competition to focus on the 2024 election. Now, I can’t have Tony The Spider pulling out a win for a shot at the OCW title. As much as I am for equal opportunities I can’t have the prestigious OCW Championship being challenged for it. We all saw what happened when I gave an opportunity to Dylan Thomas and the aforementioned Mason, I don’t need a repeat.

So, the individuals that signed up for it, are going to be given an opportunity elsewhere. The Craze Contender Match to open the show will be fought for by the newcomer SYNN and she will take on the A-Lister himself, Dylan Thomas!

~ the OCW Faithful approve cheering loudly for the weirdo SYNN and Dylan Thomas gets a mixed reaction but mostly happy to see these two talents come face to face. ~

Smith: That’s a great way to open the Pay Per View!

Hood: I have to agree! Dylan has coveted the Craze title like Crash Rodriguez has in the past.

Victoria Strader: Now for the Paradigm contender match I gonna do something that most General Managers or whatever they like to be called would be afraid to do. I am pitting ally against ally for the shot. So the two names that will fight for an opportunity is The Nickleman and...

CRASH RODRIGUEZ!

~The Faithful pop loudly thinking about the Bastards having to fight each other.~

Smith: Bastard versus Bastard!

Hood: That’s not fair! She can’t do that!

Smith: She can, and she did, Hood.

Victoria Strader: Now, without further adieu, the tag team to take on the OCW Tag Team Champions...

~ An uncomfortable laugh is heard as Joker begins playing. The women of Haven step out as a red hue fills the arena. Phoenix leads Desdemona to the ring on a leash. The ladies walk up the steps as they enter the ring. Phoenix unleashes Desdemona as she makes it slowly to her feet. Victoria hands Phoenix the microphone, and exits the ring. She raises a microphone to her lips as she begins to speak.~

Phoenix: Here is the thing. Desdemona and I sat back and have watched the Brotherhood of Bastards run roughshod through some tag teams but they haven't faced anyone as sadistic as Des and myself. For years I have searched for the perfect partner and protoge and I thought I had that in Pandora. Pandora's pride got in the way. She didn't want the help. Des came to me and was seeking a Safe Haven and I gave her that. She trained under me. She has been the perfect protégé.

~She hands the microphone to Desdemona as the woman with the split hair color looks out to the crowd with a smile.~

Desdemona: When we got the call to come in for Hardwired to Self Destruct and take on the Brotherhood we had to say yes. We have already defeated one set of tag champions in Motor City Wrestling and the Deathriders. We are here to say that we won't stop until we bring tag team wrestling back to the forefront of the sport. We will begin by becoming the OCW Tag Champs. The Brotherhood isn't ready for us at all and it will show when we leave with the gold.

~The fans boo a bit as Phoenix takes the microphone back.~

Phoenix: We will offer you a safe haven OCW. Brotherhood, all you need to do is come to us and bow down before the Mistress of the Night, Phoenix LeStrange and the dark Princess, Desdemona Luciana. All hail your soon to be OCW Tag Team Champions!

Smith: And BOB has some competition for Hardwired!

Hood: She really walk her partner on a leash?

Smith: Doesn’t Thunder Knuckles keep Nickleman on a leash?

Hood: If he does, I don’t wanna know.

Smith: Don’t kink shame, Hood. It’s not nice.

Hood: You’re not my dad.

Smith: Thank God.

Belvedere: The opening contest is scheduled for one fall! Enhancement Talent, Zeus, is already in the ring.

~ “Betty Boop” starts to play as the OCW Faithful look to the entrance way. ~

Belvedere: Weighing in at one-hundred-eight pounds and hailing from Cape May, New Jersey... “THE LUNATIC” KHLOE COX!

~ Khloe skips out to the intro of her entrance music dance walking her way down the ramp and just as the beat drops she would hop up to the ring winking into the camera before slipping under the bottom rope. ~

~ DING DING DING ~

~ Zeus runs at Cox, but Cox easily catches him in an iron claw, which she uses to lift Zeus up and choke slam him. Cox puts one foot on Zeus's chest.~

Hood: Here we go!

2!!

KICKOUT!

Hood: I'll be damned.

~ Zeus gets to his feet only to be whipped to the ropes so hard he doesn't bounce off them, he flies over them! Cox heads to the outside and then tosses Zeus in behind it.

Smith: You almost feel sorry for Zeus when he gets booked.

~ Cox performs a leg drop and covers the prone Zeus. ~

2!!

~ Cox pulls Zeus up by the hair.~

Smith: Khloe really taking it to him.

~ Cox picks Zeus up and locks him in a bear hug. ~

Hood: It's all over, Smith! Zeus will never survive a bear hug from someone shorter than him!

~ Zeus looks panicked, but can't get free. His face is rapidly turning red when he suddenly head butts Cox in the face. Blood spews from Cox's nose, causing the startled Cartoon-Lady to drop Zeus to the mat. ~

Smith: I think Zeus just busted Cox's nose!

Hood: Wait, Zeus has offence?

~ Zeus tries to follow up on his head butt but Khloe swats the attack aside and DDT’s him hard to the mat. ~

Hood: Now that makes more sense!

~ Cox lifts Zeus up as she brings her left leg up for a punt kick. Zeus manages to dodge it, grabbing Khloe’s head and taking her down with a neck breaker!

Hood: Smith, what just happened?

Smith: Zeus got Cox off her feet is what happened!

~ Zeus quickly covers. ~

~ Cox tosses Zeus off of her. ~

Hood: Well, it looks like it won't matter anyway. Cox's has lots of gas in the tank.

~ Cox slowly starts to get to her feet. ~

Smith: This might be the longest match Zeus has had.

Hood: Christmas miracle?

~ Zeus sees Cox getting up and starts to panic as he hasn’t had a match last thing long since maybe The Mop. Cox looks over at Zeus and does her smile as he bounces off the ropes. Obviously expecting a clothesline, she ducks, but the crafty fucker does a baseball slide knocking Khloe of her feet and Zeus drops down to cover.

2!!

KICKOUT!

Smith: I have to admit I don’t know what to say. I never had to speak this much in a Zeus match.

~ She is up quick and Cox pulls Zeus in for a short clothesline. Cox gets to her feet and picks Zeus up, going for a Gorilla Pressing him high in the air as she might be small but it’s fucking Zeus. As she releases Zeus and bring her left leg up, her right foot slips and Cox crashes face first onto the mat with Zeus landing on top of her and rolling off. ~

Hood: Wait, is this little bastard gonna win?

~ Zeus is in the corner, pulling himself up as Cox slowly gets to her hands and knees. Even more slowly, Cox manages to straighten up, now kneeling on both knees. Zeus suddenly charges out of the corner and spears Cox, bending the cartoon lady backwards, her legs folded double beneath her. ~

Smith: Zeus just hit the Greek Lightning!

Hood: He named a spear the Greek Lightning?

~ Zeus hurries over to cover! ~

2!!

3!!!!

~ DING DING DING ~

Belvedere: The winner of the match via pinfall... and I can’t believe I am saying this... ZEUS!!!!!!!!

Smith: Well that isn’t how anyone wants to start their OCW career.

Hood: Unless you are a Mop. Whatever happened to the that glorified broomstick?

Smith: Probably working in a company full of self-righteous pricks who tell people they do wrestling wrong.

Hood: Learn something new every day.

Smith: Anyway! I am sure Miss Cox will bounce back!

Hood: Yeah, I mean, Mike Zybala is in two main events this month. Anything is possible.

~ In the hallways of the OCW arena, Vincenzo Larossia, Frankie Larossia, Tank and Roxxie Gobbler are all talking and chatting away. Tank looks over his shoulder and pats Vincenzo on his shoulder to get his attention. Vincenzo looks over his shoulder as the camera pans backwards to reveal a rather stoic looking Dylan Thomas being flanked by Lopa and two other men. ~

Vincenzo: Dylan!!!! Where have you been?! Mrs T has been worried sick! We all have!!

~ Dylan says nothing and Lopa smirks. ~

Lopa: Mr Thomas doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. He is a Child of the Vard. He is here tonight to kill his opponent. But as for Dylan Thomas being a part of the A-List Family? Never again!

Vincenzo: Who the fuck are you, lady?! What the fuck is a Child of the Vard?! Come on Dylan! Go see Lissie, the boss!

Lopa: Heh, I suppose names can’t hurt. You’ll be seeing more of us after all. Lopa, She-Wolf of the Children of the Vard. Come, Dylan. Your match is next.

~ With that, a completely silent Dylan Thomas walks away with his flank. ~

Vincenzo: I don’t like this. Let’s go and get the boss, Frankie.

~We cut backstage to a shot of Crash and Nickleman, with Nickleman wrapping a bandana around Crash’s eyes. Crash looks to have a knife in his hand. ~

Crash: How do I play?

The Nickleman: Aren’t you mexican? It’s called pin the knife in the owl! Its like a pinata! But with a knife instead of a bat, and an owl instead of a pinata. And a pissed of Alice instead of candy.

Crash: can we get candy after the show though? Cause now I want candy…

~Charlie walks over to his locker and opens it, before pulling out a LIVE OWL! The creature spreads it’s wings and tries to fly away, but The Nickleman grabs it by the legs before swinging it upside down and dangling it around. As Crash stands waiting Charlie forces the owl to the ground, as it pecks and claws at him, but he is able to get a rope around its legs. ~

The Nickleman: Get this hootin’ bitch!

~Crash swings the knife out wildly, but Nickleman yanks the rope pulling the owl out of the way, resulting in Crash slicing Charlie’s arm.~

The Nickleman: You fucker!

~Crash continues wildly slashing, nicking, scratching and cutting the nicklemans arm and chest.~

The Nickleman: Fuck this game!

~Nickleman pulls the rope smacking the owl against the ceiling before letting it drop to the ground, squirming in pain. Charlie quickly jumps onto the owl, stomping it like an Italian plumber finding a turtle. He continues to stomp and rip apart the owl, disemboweling it with his bare hands. Charlie finally pulls himself off the owl as Crash pulls away the blindfold, and sees the destroyed carcass.~

Crash: Man, I’m pretty good at this game.

SINGLES MATCH
DYLAN THOMAS (20-14) VS SHANE DONOVAN (4-1)

Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...

~ The opening bars of 'Watch Me Shine' by Fozzy play over the PA system and some fans in attendance begin to stand with a subtle 'DT' chant, while others boo. After a few moments the curtain jerks and through the curtain enters Dylan Thomas. Upon seeing Dylan, everyone cheers again. Dylan is looking around at the Faithful and the OCW Faithful are back to their 50/50 split.

Belvedere: Weighing in at two-hundred-twenty-five pounds residing in Hollywood, California... THE A-LISTER DYLAN THOMAS!

~ Dylan ignores the jeering fans until he reaches the specified 'DT Section' whereupon he slaps as many hands as he can here. After signing a few autographs Dylan then smirks and hops up on the nearest turnbuckle merely Donovaning out at the sea of people booing at him. He acknowledges THEIR support with a nod and smile. Everyone else? Not so much. ~

Belvedere: And his opponent...

“I wanna be… a messiah… a king… a God in extension!”

~ The words blare over the PA system before the opening riffs of “God in Extension” by Jack Daw kick in and Shane Donovan steps onto the entrance ramp. He is clad in black tights with Shane written down his left leg and “SOCIETY” written down the right, with a heavy knee brace over his tights on that leg as well as a black and white coat with a hood that is over his head. ~

Belvedere: Weighing in two-hundred-twenty-five pounds...hailing from Norfolk, Virginia... he is the “MANMADEMONSTER” SHANE DONOVAN!!!!

~ Shane makes his way down the ramp as the song continues to play, taunting fans as he reaches the ring, circling it until he comes to the ring stairs and climbs up them, stepping between the top and middle ropes to enter. Once inside, he removes his jacket, handing it off to a ringside worker before he turns his focus to the center of the ring to prepare for his match to begin. ~

~ DING DING DING ~

Smith: Donovan wanted him, he gets him.

Hood: This match should be a cake walk for Dylan.

~ “Manmademonster” Shane Donovan and The A-Lister Dylan Thomas off this match with the traditional collar and elbow tieup that is so common to wrestling matches. Shane Donovan is gaining the advantage when Dylan tries to put a thumb into Shane Donovan's eyes, but he manages to avoid the prying thumb and force Dylan back into a corner. Shane with a right hand, following with a stiff forearm shot and a knee into the midsection of Dylan puts him firmly into the corner. Shane lifts Dylan up onto the top turnbuckle and slams him down to the canvas with a front layout superplex that causes Dylan to bounce on impact and Shane Donovan is in firm control of this match. Shane walks over to his challenge from last week, and bends down to pick Dylan up to a vertical base. Dylan with a face rake sends Shane Donovan holding at his face and slows his momentum down quite a bit. ~

Smith: Illegal tactics from the The A-Lister.

Hood: Bout goddamn time!

~ Dylan gets up to his feet and stalks Shane, who is still holding at his face, Dylan jerks on the hair of Shane Donovan before Irish whipping him into the ropes. Donovan rebounds into an arm drag takedown into a crossface submission hold, but before it can get locked in tight, Shane Donovan rolls over. Shane is up, but Dylan is right there with a boot to the midsection and an even flow DDT. NO! Shane Donovan pushes Dylan backwards keeping him from planting him to the canvas with a DDT and Donovan charges at the The A-Lister. Dylan leaps up with a standing dropkick that connects with the top of Shane's head and that sends him down to the mat. Dylan pulls Shane up to his feet and Irish whips him violently into the corner where he follows with a running clothesline that nearly sends Shane over the turnbuckle to the floor below. As Shane falls back down into the ring, Dylan connects with a chop that sends the crowds into a flurry of "Wooos". Dylan seems to pay little attention as he chops Shane Donovan again, leaving a red welt on his chest from the most recent blow. Dylan whips Shane Donovan across the ring, no reversal by Shane Donovan, but another reversal sends Shane Donovan into the corner anyways. Dylan follows up with another massive clothesline that nearly decapitates Shane Donovan. Dylan climbs up the turnbuckle and begins to pound away at Shane Donovan's temple. ~

2!!

3!!!

4!!!!

5—NO!

~ Shane Donovan throws Dylan off of him. The A-Lister lands on his feet and charges back at the “manmademonster”, but Shane lifts his feet just in time to catch The A-Lister Dylan in the face, the force driving Dylan backwards. ~

Hood: Desperation move from Shane Donovan there. Old school Dylan is back!

Smith: But for the moment, it gives him the advantage.

~ Shane bursts out from the corner with a flurry of right- and left-handed blows that each find their mark on Dylan's head. Gruff warns Shane Donovan about the closed fists and Shane acknowledges him with a lifted knee into Dylan's face. Shane bounces off the ropes with a front kick into Dylan's bent over face, Dylan is forced to stand vertically from the blow. Shane Donovan hits the ropes and comes back with a running bulldog that sends them both down to the mat. The crowd is getting behind Shane Donovan here and he is feeding off their energy cause in OCW they only care about who is inflicting damage, not who is a “heel” or “babyface”. Shane Donovan with a cover. ~

2!!

3NO!!!!

~ Dylan manages to roll up his left shoulder just in time. Shane seems to be a bit frustrated as he pulls Dylan back up to his feet. ~

Hood: The A-Lister Dylan Thomas is too good to be pinned after a weak offense like that.

Smith: It was almost a three count. That isn’t weak.

~ Shane goes for a right hand, but The A-Lister Dylan Thomas ducks under and goes for a belly to belly suplex, but Shane Donovan manages to put his full weight down and prevent Dylan from lifting him up fully. Shane comes down with a three quarter face lock on his shoulder that partially stuns Dylan from the force of the blow. Shane Donovan hits the ropes catching Dylan and driving him down to the mat with a spinning neckbreaker. Shane goes for a pin but he decides to keep he offence going. Shane hits the ropes, rebounds, and dives at Dylan but he moves and Donovan eats canvas. The missed move has allowed Dylan to get up to his feet while Shane is lying on the mat. Dylan smirks at the predicament and climbs to the top turnbuckle facing Shane Donovan, who is beginning to rise with his back to Dylan. The A-Lister leaps from the top turnbuckle with a missile dropkick that sends Shane's face into the barrier after it knocks him over the top rope. Gruff begins to count. ~

2!!

~ Dylan is up and out on the floor demanding a chair from a fan at ringside and the fan obliges because they want blood and carnage. Dylan folds the chair up and brings it down sickly on Shane Donovan's head but he misses and good thing because it would end the match. Dylan tosses the chair to the side saying fuck it. ~

3!!!

4!!!!

~ Dylan picks up his opponent and Irish whips Donovan into the ringsteps, Donovan's connect with the steps sends them flying about six feet away and he lays there unmoving. Gruff’s count is up to six as Dylan rolls in to break the count, he then rolls back out and mouths something about Shane not being up to the talent of himself. Dylan hip tosses Shane onto the unforgiving steel. Dylan smiles as he looks at the carnage he has inflicted on Shane Donovan and the ref's count is up to six again by this time and Dylan breaks the count once again. Why does the ref even count? Because Gruff is a goddamn professional, that’s why! ~

Hood: Dylan with a big advantage now and it is only a matter of time.

Smith: With cheating it’s hard to overcome those odds.

Hood: Nice to see this side of Dylan again. He’s going to win a shot at the Craze title.

~ Dylan walks over to the side of the ring where Shane Donovan is, but he isn't there, Dylan looks around for his opponent. *WHAM!* Donovan connects with a stiff uppercut that knocks Dylan backwards and nearly causes him to fall on his backside. Shane Donovan runs with a leg lariat that sends Dylan down to the mat outside the ring. Gruff’s count is up to six for a third time as Shane Donovan climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and dives with a double axehandle to Dylan's midsection. Shane whips Dylan into the ring, but Dylan reverses and sends Shane running towards the ring. Shane Donovan dives into the ring spins up to his feet and as Dylan is coming into the ring, catches him with a baseball slide that sends Dylan to the bottom of the entrance ramp. Shane is back outside the ring and has a hold of Dylan's hair pulling him towards the ring. Shane slams Dylan's face into the ring apron, once, twice, and Dylan stops the third attempt with an elbow to Shane's midsection. Shane forearms Dylan on the back of the neck and slams his head into the ring apron before rolling him into the ring; Shane quickly follows his opponent into the ring just as Gruff’s count is at six for a fourth time. Dylan is up to his feet and meets Shane with a boot to the midsection and a single arm DDT that drives Shane's head firmly into the canvas, Dylan makes a cover. ~

2!!

3NO!!!!

~ Shane manages to roll a shoulder up and stop the count. ~

Hood: Slow count by Gruff there.

Smith: He counted at the same speed he has been counting.

Hood: And that is slow.

~ Dylan gets into Gruff’s face and is letting him know what he thinks of the slow count by slapping his hands in a one two three gesture fast. Shane Donovan is on his forearms and knees shaking the cobwebs out of his head. Dylan kicks Shane towards the corner where he begins a blatant boot choke on Shane Donovan and Gruff is there administering a mandatory five count! ~

2!!

3!!!

4!!!!

~ Dylan releases on the count of fou4. Dylan hurls Shane Donovan over the top rope and these two are back to the outside in this match and Gruff is starting the count again. ~

~ Dylan climbs through the ropes and drops an elbow onto Shane from the apron. ~

2!!

~ Dylan makes it up to his feet. ~

3!!!

~ Dylan slams Shane's face into the concrete with a leg drop from the railing. Dylan pulls Shane up to his feet, but Shane pulls on Dylan's arm and executes a picture-perfect short arm clothesline and follows it up with a vicious bulldog. ~

4!!!!

5!!!!!

~ Shane climbs to the ring apron and leaps driving a knee into Dylan's skull that busts Dylan open here. Shane uses his wrestling boot heel and brings it down on Dylan's skull doing his best to open the wound up further. Having a big advantage now, Shane Donovan rolls Dylan into the ring and follows quickly with a boot stomp on Dylan's busted open forehead. Grabbing a hold of Dylan's wrist, Shane Donovan whips him violently into the corner following up with an elevated knee into his chest. Shane Donovan looks out at the crowd and slaps Dylan across the chest palm first and follows with a knife edge chop that reddens Dylan's chest further. Pulling Dylan from the corner with a wristlock, Shane Donovan pulls Dylan towards him drops the wristlock and performs a perfect reverse neckbreaker that drops Dylan down to the mat. Shane Donovan gets back up to his feet and amazingly so does The A-Lister Dylan Thomas, determination to prove his superiority driving him onward. Shane Donovan with a headlock into a takedown into a crossface submission hold. Gruff gets into position and asks Dylan if he wants to submit; The A-Lister Dylan shakes his head that he does not. Shane releases the crossface and nails Dylan with a knee drop before getting back to his feet once again and pulling Dylan back up to his feet delivering a forearm shot to Dylan that drives him towards the ropes. Shane grabs onto Dylan, looking around to the OCW Faithful. ~

Hood: Come on Dylan!!!

Smith: Shane Donovan going for The Vicious Cycle and the win!

~ Shane Donovan nails the Tilt-A-Whirl Emerald Fusion he calls THE VICIOUS CYCLE and hooks the leg of Dylan Thomas. ~

2!!

3!!!!!!!

~ DING DING DING ~

Belvedere: And your winner via pinfall.... SHANE DONOVAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smith: Big win by Shane Donovan that he will surely use to carry into Hardwired to Self-Destruct to face off again the Paradigm Champion, Sahara Duke!

Hood: He only won by a poor officiating job from Gruff. Slow counts and then a super-fast one for Donovan.

Smith: Not at all what happened. Anyway, Dylan will have to put this behind him if he wants to beat out Synn for a shot at the Craze title.

Hood: He’s the A-Lister for a reason. He will be fine.

Smith: With that, I agree but don’t under estimate Synn as I see big things coming her way.

Hood: You pervert, you are gonna get yourself cancelled.

Smith: I really don’t like you sometimes.

~ Victoria Strader is walking with KNUX and MAD MAX towards the back entrance of the arena. Looking from Max to Knux, Victoria breaks the silence. ~

Victoria Strader: They have him outback?

Mad Max: Yep, they have them.

~ Victoria just nods her approval. Knux opens the back door and the cool ocean breeze blows through her hair. JOHN NASH STRADER and five members of his MC stand all around in a circle pointing various firearms at SOLOMON CAIN in the middle. Victoria sneers as she walks up and stands beside her Uncle while Max and Knux stand on guard. ~

Victoria Strader: Any problems?

John Strader: Nope. When you have multiple firearms pointed, they usually comply.

Victoria Strader: I hope this shows the olive branch I extended to Ronnie is real.

John Strader: It’s a good first step, no question. What should we do with him?

~ Victoria stops to think, her index and thumb coming up to stroke her chin in thought. She’s about to answer when sirens can be heard and seen as the red and blue lights flash all around. ~

John Strader: Fuck, cops! Boys, put your weapons away!

~ Two cruisers are seen pulling up and a large fat cop with his skinny partner walk up. ~

Cop: Who’s in charge here?

Victoria Strader: That would be me, Officer.

Cop: We appreciate you apprehending the perp, but we’ll take it from here. Jenkins, read Solomon Cain his right and cuff him.

~ Victoria, John and the rest back off from Cain as the skinny cop reads Solomon his rights and he smiles sadistically at the Straders in front of him. He doesn’t need to say a word.

Victoria Strader: Well shit. That didn’t go as planned.

John Strader: Probably better this way. The law would’ve come straight to us if he went away. He can be their problem now.

Victoria Strader: Yeah... I guess. Knux, Max find out who called the cops.

Knux: Yes ma’am.

~ Victoria gives her uncle a hug. ~

Victoria Strader: Thank you, Uncle John. Go see mom, she misses you.

~ We move back to ringside to Smith and Hood. ~

Smith: Well, looks like Victoria tried to deal with Solomon Cain in a vigilante kind of way!

Hood: Cops ruined that. Now we get to see Cain roll away in the back of a cop cruiser.

Smith: Whoever called the cops must be nervous that Victoria will find them.

Hood: Maybe, but we just lost a powerhouse.

Smith: Who took and killed a man.

Hood: Semantics.

~Backstage, we catch Jacki O'Lantern sitting on a chair in her locker room. She's already dressed and ready to compete for her debut match against Leviathan. Most wrestlers when they get ready they like to do special pre match rituals, but that has never been the case for the Queen of Trickery as she has a Halloween bucket of candy between her legs, opening each candy individually and eating them.~

~Once she was done filling her mouth with sugary treats, she looked down at her cats and noticed her furry feline friends staring right at her. She pets each one with a smile before getting up out of her seat and exiting the locker room. It was time to go out there and prove something.~

SINGLES MATCH
JACKI O’LANTERN (0-0) VS LEVIATHAN (0-1)

Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... weighing in at one-hundred and twenty-pounds hailing from San, Diego California... JACKI O’LANTERN!!!!!

~ Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett plays and out comes Jacki O'Lantern from behind the curtain to thunderous cheers from the crowd. She walks down the ramp and looks toward them, noticing some signs in support of her, as she points to them and gives them a nod before ascending up the stairs and underneath the bottom rope where she enters the ring. She taunts the crowd, which generates more of a reaction from them, before focusing her eyes on the stage as her music dies and her opponent's music begins to play next.~

Belvedere: And her opponent...

~ "Shattered" starts playing as the lights go out. A spotlight shines on the entrance and after a few minutes, Leviathan slowly comes out into the light. He pauses for a moment and smirks at the crowd before walking down the aisle. ~

Belvedere: Weighing in at two-hundred-sixty-six lbs hailing from Chicago, Illinois...

~ Fans reach out to acknowledge him but he just swats them all away. He does notice one young fan wearing the local sports team baseball cap and walks over to him and takes it off the young fans head. He looks at it and tosses it off to the other side of the aisle. He looks at the fan and laughs in their face. Another fan nearby reaches out for a high five. He looks at them and proceeds to give them a high five but intentionally misses and hit them on the forehead. Leviathan sarcastically puts his hand to his mouth. ~

Belvedere: he is LEVIATHAN!!!!!!

~ He proceeds to the ring and slides in. He circles around the ring and raises his arms for acknowledgement from the crowd. They all boo him and he just laughs at them. He leans up against the ropes and waits for the bell. ~

~ DING DING DING ~

~ Leviathan and Jacki stare at the other, before they begin circling. Each is looking for a moment in which to attack the other, they finally lock up. Jacki with the advantage as she backs Leviathan into the corner, but Juff is there to break it up. Leviathan slaps Jacki across the left cheek, and Jacki pounces. Instead of slapping she delivers a right hand, forearm shot, right hand, right hand, and another right hand and she ends the combination with a jagged elbow to his chin; she follows this up with a repeat of the combination. Leviathan is reeling backwards with each blow, but being up against the corner, his body has nowhere to go so his head bounces back and forth. Jacki yells something unintelligible at Leviathan, but the words are not clear enough to be distinguishable to the microphones in the camera. ~

Hood: Jacki not taking that slap too lightly.

Smith: Levi should have known better.

~ Levi is unable to defend himself against Jacki's onslaught of offense as she continues to pound away at his face. Juff is finally able to get between the two of them and stop the closed fists from Jacki; she nods and backs away. Levi shuffles out of the corner into an Irish whip from Jacki, Levi reverses the maneuver and now Jacki is into the ropes. She charges back with a head of steam, but is taken down as Levi delivers a clothesline he falls down for a pin, but Jacki kicks out too quickly. The two of them stand toe to toe in the very center of the wrestling ring and lock up one more time. Levi backs Jacki up before using the lock up to knee Jacki in the gut and lift her up over his head in a sort of suplex; they both go down. Levi is up and on top of Jacki throwing knife edge chops and she is quickly, but firmly, backed into the corner. Knife edge chop, knife edge chop and the chest of Jacki is beginning to get red where her top allows skin to show. Leviathan has a look in his face that we haven’t seen yet (cause he’s new, ya dumbass) as he continues the chops; he places a forearm to Jacki's temple and now she is the one rocking back. Leviathan grins as he delivers one more knife edge chop. Leviathan lowers himself placing a knee into her midsection as she doubles over, he swings her around with a neckbreaker in the corner. She is too close to the ropes for a pin, so he drags her into the middle of the ring and begins to stomp away on her body. ~

Smith: Leviathan showing that he is still a man to be weary of.

Hood: With authority too!

~ Jacki reaches up grabbing the ankle of Leviathan and twisting the joint in her grasp; Levi groans falling to the mat as Jacki pulls his foot out from under him. Jacki is up to her knees as Leviathan is still falling to the mat and she is on him like The Big Bifford on a homeless person for quality chicken sandwiches. ~

Hood: While still having a few technical holds, this has turned out into a fight.

Smith: And both very capable of winning a fight.

Hood: Yep, and all she wants is a new candle every now and again!

Smith: Yep a new - - wait a minute!

~ Jacki picks Leviathan up to his feet placing him in a very basic behind the back wristlock. She lifts him up into the air and twisting with him in her arms falls back driving his shoulder into the ring canvas she holds onto his wrist and pulling him back up to his feet, drives him down again. She stands back, quickly catching her breath before turning on the after burners in her attack. She is red faced from turning on a faster pace (at least, we think so with the orange and black face paint) and Leviathan is red faced from holding in the pain. Jacki lifts Leviathan to his feet and Irish whips him into the corner with high powered velocity; the force causes him to bounce back out of the corner. Jacki charges at her foe, but he manages to bend over with a back body drop to Jacki who lands on the apron on her feet looking stunned. Levi taking the opportunity charges with a clothesline and Jacki ducks shoulder blocking Levi in the stomach. He doubles over and Jacki hits a nearly perfect sunset flip for a pin. ~

2!!

KICKOUT!

~ Leviathan kicks his feet wildly and causes the pin to break up, but Jacki is very pleased with herself and awaits Leviathan's return to his vertical base. He stands back up, with his back to Jacki, she charges at her opponent. She slows her advance, Leviathan not yet knowing she has reached her feet. He is nailed from behind with a forearm shot that staggers him slightly allowing her to hit NO FUCKS GIVEN (Gotch Style Piledriver). ~

Hood: No Fucks Given! Nice piledriver!

Smith: Oh it’s all Jacki now.

~ Jacki covers the limp form of Leviathan for the pinfall. ~

2!!

3!!!!!!!

~ DING DING DING ~

Belvedere: Winner of the match via pinfall... JACKI O’LANTERN!!!!!!!!

Smith: Leviathan finds himself still winless in OCW but Jacki O’Lantern has won her debut match! She has a bright future inside OCW. It’s been great how the Commissioner has brought more women into the company!

Hood: Well, it was a sausage fest so we something to look at now!

Smith: Hood! God, don’t be a pig. Anyway, up next is TLS vs Crash but I am not sure how that’s gonna happen with the whole stepping into the PORTAL POTTY to hang a leak in the future.

Smith: Well, only way to find out!

~We cut to the OCW Studio. Cheasy is in his chair. He turns, violently toward the camera with an urgent look in his eyes. His mustache wiggles, but only slightly. But not too slight. I mean, we all notice it~

Cheasy M: Hello OCW! Breaking news to bring you during tonight’s broadcast. As you are all well aware, it was reported last week that our soon-to-be former owner put OCW up for sale. Well, I’ve just received word that an offer has come in and a Letter of Intent has been signed!

~The camera cuts. Cheasy adjusts~

Cheasy M: So, who’s behind the offer? Well, ole Cheasy is about to tell ya.

~The camera cuts. Cheasy spins around, adjusting, lifting an eye brow, staring right into the lens as it zooms in on his antiquated good looks~

Cheasy M: Dean and Lurrr, that’s who! The two originators of OCW! They were able to gather the money together and have presented an offer to the former owner and as of a few minutes ago the LOI was signed by both parties!

~We hear people outside the studio cheering~

Cheasy M: Now, LOI’s aren’t ironclad. So this isn’t a done deal...yet. But it sure appears as though it’s going to be. So, saddle up, everyone...the old days...the Dean and Lurrr days appear to be returning at the start of the year!

~The camera cuts, Cheasy adjusts~

Cheasy M: Smith. Hood. Back to you!

~”Have a HOOT this Christmas!” flashes up on the OCWTron and the live crowd immediately erupts into a loud chorus of cheers in anticipation for what would no doubt be a highly entertaining Alice Knight promo of some sort. ~

~As the scene opens, we see what looks like the perfect Christmas scene. A perfectly decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room, which was right by a fairly sizable roaring fireplace. Surrounding the tree are of course many different presents of all different sizes, including what looks to be several jars of classic Alice Knight mustard. Everything looks exactly like what you’d see on the Hallmark Channel, except one thing was different, and that was the fact that this time the storyteller was a giant owl dressed up to look like Santa Claus. He was obviously a paid actor and not a real owl, that’d be ridiculous. In his wings he holds a book ready to tell the live crowd a Christmas story.~

Owl: Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!

~The actor pauses for a moment, ready to continue his story but before he can do so the director of this particular story interrupts him and for the first time the live crowd hears an all too familiar voice.~

Director: CUT!

~The owl looks behind the camera at the director a little bit confused as to why she wasn’t happy.~

Director: You call that acting?! Go again!

~The owl still looks slightly confused not knowing what he did wrong but somewhat unenthusiastically nods his head ready to continue.~

Director: ACTION!

~Faint Christmas music can be heard again as the camera pans back into the owl.~

Owl: Hoot! Hoot! Ho—-

Director: CUT!!! Terrible! Absolutely terrible! Did you even read the lines I sent you?!

~Again the owl looks confused and slightly upset now his acting skills were being doubted.~

Owl: Yes I—-

Director: SHUT UP! I don’t need your life story! All I need is for you to act! Now stick to the damn script!

~ At this point the owl is feeling a little bit more confident as they finally argue back.~

Owl: All you sent me is two hundreds pages with nothing but the word “hoot” written on there!

Director: EXACTLY! It was a masterpiece! Now are you going to do this right or are you just going to continue to mess this up?!

~Anger rising in him he gives the director somewhat of a death glare before looking back at his book. He clearly wasn’t happy at all but he wanted to continue this, no doubt for the money.~

Director: ACTION!

~Once again the live crowd hears the faint Christmas jingles as the camera pans into the owl.~

Owl: Hoo—-

Director: CUT!!!

~At this point the owl finally loses it and snaps at the woman behind the camera. Clearly, she wasn’t giving him a chance here at all.~

Owl: What the hell is your problem, lady?!

~At this point the director finally steps around the camera and walks up onto set and as soon as she does so the live crowd totally loses it. Stepping up into camera shot was not Alice Knight but rather a completely different brunette that the OCW Universe was just as familiar with. Dressed from head to toe in perhaps the sexiest Miss Santa outfit you’d ever see stands the self proclaimed Worlds Greatest Wrestler and ONLY OCW Hall of Famer… Lilith! Despite the fact that Lilith had never been a “good girl” the live crowd still gives her a loud, positive reaction simply because she had not been seen in almost three years!~

~With the fans still going crazy, Lilith gets up into the owls face and grabs him by his feathers as she proceeds to aggressively yell at him.~

Lilith: You owls are all the damn same! Just the mere sight of you makes me SICK! Now get the hell out of my sight before I ruin Christmas for you and your stupid owl family and I drown you in that gross mustard that stupid Lilith wannabe bitch always goes on about!

~The owl quickly nods his head. Knowing full well how completely unhinged Lilith was he quickly escapes her grasp and runs out of the scene. Finally Lilith turns to face the camera and gives everyone one of her signature sweet and innocent looking smiles.~

Lilith: Merry Christmas!

~“To be continued…” flashes across the screen in glittery Christmas text as the scene fades out.~

Lou: I think its a solid plan sir. A good way to get this ship on the right tracks.

~Lou nods his head as the other side responds unintelligibly. ~

Lou: I know ships aren't on tracks, sir… I just meant-

~The voice cuts off Lou, Lou closes his eyes, pressing his thumb and index finger against the bridge of his nose.

Lou: You could find another lawyer, but not one willing to do this for free. After all, I know OCW needs you and I'll do anything in my power to bring you back.

~The voice responds as Lou notices his client walking up to him. ~

Lou: I'll call you back in a couple of hours, take care.

~Lou hangs up the phone, sliding it into his pocket.~

Lou: Hey kid, where are you going?

Crash: The ring. It's time to finish off TLS… for BoB.

Lou: What do you mean? TLS isnt here, shit came up!

Crash: “So my match is cancelled? This is horse shit, I saw TLS earlier.

~Crash shakes his head when he notices the Nickleman walking by, his arms still scratched to fuck from the rousing game of stick the owls with the knife. ~

Crash: Charlie! Amigo! My fellow Bastard. Could you do me a favor? Go grab him, and bring him to the ring. My match is next.

Lou: Your match was canceled, he's not here.

Crash: I know what I saw. He was here and I'm not letting him slip away so easily. Charlie can you please find him?

The Nickleman: Aight, bet. I’m sure he won’t be hard to find, I mean he’s always wearing that same smelly diaper mask!

Crash: He doesn’t have the mask anymore.

The Nickleman: Well how else am I supposed to find the stupid fucker, then?

Crash: Come on man, this is TLS… He’s probably off creeping in the air vents.

The Nickleman: Why would he be in the vents?

Crash: Tis the season. Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

~Nickleman nods and heads down the halls as Crash turns to his representation. ~

Crash: What do I even pay you for?

~Crash starts heading towards the ring shaking his head as Lou trudges along behind him, head hanging low. The scene transitions elsewhere backstage where we see The Nickleman searching high and low for TLS while playing the BOB version of marco polo. ~

The Nickleman: Marked Ho! Come out come where you are, little ho! You’ve been marked for death!

~The Nickleman flips over one of the catering carts, all but certain TLS was beneath it: but alas he was not! The Nickleman curses to himself before looking around once more.

The Nickleman: Now where the hell could this bitch be hiding? Hmm….I should put myself in his shoes….but I don’t have a pair of his shoes readily available. Fuck!

~The Nickleman groans in frustration as he keeps walking down the hallway, turning a corner as he continued the backstage search.~

The Nickleman: Wait a second…maybe I should try thinking like him! Yeah, that’s a good idea! Ok….so if I was a little pussy who was scared of Crash, where would I be hiding?

~The Nickleman tries to think this through, but he quickly throws his hands up into the air in frustration. ~

The Nickleman: Damn it! It’s no use! I could never think like a bitch, it’s just not in me!

~Then, all of a sudden, The Nickleman hears a rustling in the vents above him. He immediately looks upwards, catching sight of something…or someone through the air slats in the vent.

The Nickleman: Oh there you are, you piece of shit! Come here!

~The rustling moves forward in the vents as The Nickleman starts looking for a tool to break through the metal. He smiles sharply as he sets eyes on a flagpole with an American flag. The Nickleman grabs the flag and runs down the hallway, standing right under where the sound of the rustling now is. ~

The Nickleman: Marked Ho! Marked Ho! I fucking found ya! Not so lost anymore, are ya?!

~The Nickleman starts stabbing the vent cover, over and over again, and we soon start to see some blood on the tip of the flagpole. The rustling sound stops and we hear groans of pain as the flagpole continues ramming in and out of the thin sheet metal covering the vents. After nearly a dozen stabs through the metal, that panel of the vent gives way entirely! We cut away from the scene as we see someone collapsing to the ground, alongside the falling metal. ~

The Nickleman: So that’s what you look like behind that mask, huh? C’MERE!

~We cut to ringside as The lights cut out, drenching the arena in darkness, as the rhythmic thumpings of "No Love" by The Death Grips begins to pound through the sound system. A line spotlight shines across the crowd before landing on the stage where we find Crash Rodriguez standing alongside Louis Pohl. Lou whispers a few words to The Crooked Man before leaving backstage. ~

How the trip never stops
On and on, it's beyond insane
Why I set myself up
In a raging sea of flames?

~The beat continues to drone out as the spotlight follows Crash as he makes his way down the ramp, a look of apathy plastered on his face.

You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a beatdown
Madness, chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you, mane
You got no business questioning a thang
You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a beatdown
Madness, chaos in the brain
Let my blood flow, make my blood flow through you, mane You got no business questioning a thang You're fit to learn the proper meaning of a-

Belvedere: From Kansas City, Missouri. Standing at 5 feet, 11 inches and weighing 214 pounds. He is The Crooked Man and a Bastard, Crash Rooooodriiigggueeez!

~Crash slides in under the bottom rope, and quickly rises to his feet, inhaling as he looks up at the ceiling and spreads his arms wide. His music cuts out and Crash paces back and forth in the ring as a long silence waits. The crowd grows impatient quickly, knowing TLS is not in the building and this whole thing is pointless. Crash walks up to Puff and starts yelling at him to count him out but Puff argues the match hasn't started. Crash grabs Puff by his shirt collar and begins to throttle him when John Carpenter’s Friday the 13th chase music hits. The arena filling with suspense as the familiar ki ki ki and ma ma ma’s reverberate through the arena. ~

Smith: Holy shit he’s here!

Hood: I don’t believe it.

~A small figure, about 2/3rds the size of a common man is flung out onto the stage, a dog leash wrapped around his neck. The small man stands up and looks around the arena, when from behind emerges The Nickleman holding the other side of the leash. The dwarf looks terrified as he tries to outrun the monstrous Bastard.~

Smith: That isn't TLS. This is absolutely despicable.

Hood: Maybe TLS stands for The Little Shit. Like he’s tls not TLS, you know?

Smith: What do you mean?

Hood: Can’t you read?

Smith: Read what?

Hood: Nevermind.

~The Nickleman and his tiny hostage make it to ringside. The little man looks into the ring and tries to plead with his captor, but his begging falls on deaf ears, as Nickleman simply throws him under the bottom rope and into the ring. Puff shakes his head in disbelief, before signaling for the bell.~

~The little man tries to waddle and escape, but Nickleman tugs the leash, throwing the little person onto his back as Crash slowly marches towards him, fear twists the little guy's face. Crash pulls the small statured man up, but quickly sends him back down with a big boot. The man lays on the ground as Crash begins to put the boots to him, stomping on the back of his head. Puff watches on for awhile, but soon he pulls Crash off in disgust. With the Crooked Man distracted the man rolls out of the ring, only to be face to crotch with The Nickleman. A toothy grin is plastered on the bastard’s face as lifts the little man over his head and throws him over the ropes and back into the ring, crashing face first.~

Smith: I can’t watch this

Hood: I’m recording

~Crash pulls away from Puff, grabbing the little impostor by his hair and lifting them to their feet. Crash hooks one of their arms and sets up for The Crash Landing. With the small man on his back Crash marches around the ring, basking in the boos and jeers with a big crooked smile before suddenly dropping midstep and hitting the poor undersized man with a Crash Landing. Puff slides in for the pin, his face sporting a look of regret as his hands slap against the mat.~

2!!

3!!!!

~ DING DING DING ~

Belvedere: Your winner by pinfall… CRASH RODRIGUEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Crash slides out of the ring and begins high fiving his fellow bastard as the two happily make their exit up the ramp.~

Smith: How can anybody feel good about this?

Hood: A win is a win, Smith.

Smith: Regardless, this isn't the Crash I remember. The Crash OCW loves.

Hood: As that one domestic abuse victim said, ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ Absolutely fuck all.

~ Lord Allton and Lissandra are in the A-List locker room discussing Dylan’s match earlier tonight when the bodyguards run in with Roxxie not far behind. All four of them are out of breath. ~

Lissandra: But I don’t understand why he didn’t come to get me for his match.

Allton: I know. The two of you are inseparable.

Lissandra: We used to be. You don’t think he’s cheating on me do you?

Allton: Dylan cheat on the love of his life?! Hardly

Vincenzo: Boss! Boss!

Allton: Easy Vinnie. Breathe.

Vincenzo: Before DT’s match tonight the boys, Roxxie and I bumped into Dylan in the corridor.

Lissandra: WHAT?! W-well did he say anything?

Roxxie G: No. He kinda just….stood there. Like a -a zombie.

Allton: What? That doesn’t seem like him.

Vincenzo: The weirdest part though was that he had this blonde woman following him around.

Lissandra: Oh God! He is cheating on me.

Roxxie: I don’t think so Lissie. He looked spaced out. He wasn’t himself. And there were these two other guys with him.

Vincenzo: Anyway! We’ve just seen them in the parking lot, right now! Come on!

~ The A-List Family race to the parking lot where they see the guys from before bundling Dylan into a car and the woman standing outside of it, seemingly waiting for the A-List Family’s arrival. The Family race over to the car but the two henchmen have locked the car. Allton looks at the smirking woman. ~

Allton: Who the fuck are you?!

Lopa: We are Dylan’s true Family. And while the Children of the Vard stand with him, YOU six will never see him again.

~ Allton takes a longer look at the car. ~

Allton: I thought I recognised that car! You were stalking Dylan in Florida!

Lopa: Stalking? Hardly. More like keeping a watchful eye on the Pack Alpha.

Lissandra: Give me back my husband!

Lopa: Oh dear, Lissandra…. He isn’t your husband anymore. I told him the truth, I told him how you don’t really love him and you six really hate his guts. Now, if you excuse me…….

~ Lopa climbs into the car and the car speeds away. Lissandra is distraught being comforted by Roxxie while Lord Allton and the boys lose their collective shit. The screen fades on Allton’s angry face. ~

~We cut to a shot of the arena's boiler room, where we see The Nickleman gripping his barbed-wire baseball bat. He's tapping it slowly against an orange water heater as the camera slowly zooms in on The Nickleman's surroundings. We see the corpse of a desecrated owl swinging from a rope attached to the ceiling. We see a half-empty bottle of Fireball Whiskey just sitting on the ground, propped up against the wall. We see a bloody flagpole tucked away in the corner of the room.~

The Nickleman: It's been a long time since I killed a man in that ring.....a long time coming!

~The Nickleman smacks his bat against the water heater, causing a sudden clanging to ring out through the boiler room.~

The Nickleman: Sometimes, this business is about way more than fucking groupie bitches and winning championship gold....sometimes, THIS BUSINESS GETS PERSONAL!

~The Nickleman turns around and completely destroys the dead owl with the baseball bat, hitting a homerun as the owl flies off the rope and slams into the far wall. The Nickleman turns back to the camera with a deviant grin.~

The Nickleman: And the things that have been said, and done between me and the Big Bitchford....are very, very personal. So I'll be sure to come out and see him again real soon, so that he doesn't forget what a little BITCH he really is underneath all that whale blubber!

~The Nickleman walks over to his whiskey bottle and takes a swig of it as he continues to hold his bat in hand.~

The Nickleman: Cause I'm The Nickleman.....and Bitchford? I'M STILL COMING TO GET YOU!

MAIN EVENT
MIKE ZYBALA (31-17) VS THE BIG BIFFORD (20-3)

Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... weighing in at over 450 lbs hailing from the Buckeye State Columbus, Ohio... he is a former TWO-TIME OCW Champion and OCW Hall of Famer... he totally didn’t serve homeless people as quality chicken sandwiches... THE BIG BIFFORD!!!!!!!!!!!

~ “Champion” by Barns Courtney starts to play as The Big Bifford makes his way, slowly, to the ring, climbing in the ring pushing the top rope down. ~

Belvedere: And his opponent...

~ “Ready to Die – Andrew WK” starts to play and the fans cheer loudly as Zybala comes out and does some standing superkicks which the Faithful adore. They are given free drugs, don’t judge them harshly.~

Belvedere: Hailing from Buffalo, New York weighing in at one-hundred-seventy-five pounds... He is the “DREAMWEAVER”... MIKE ZYBALA!!!!!

~ Zybala makes his way down and saying hello to Belvedere telling him to have a happy holiday as he stares down the Big Bifford. ~

~ DING DING DING ~

~Bifford attacks, but Zybala ducks and runs to the other side of the ring. Bifford turns and seeks out Zybala again, who ducks and rolls, coming up away from The Big Bifford.~

Smith: Zybala ducking the clutches of The Big Bifford, wisely, wanting to take his time.

Hood: Or save his life one of the two reasons.

~ Bifford glares at Zybala and tries a third attack, this time though, Zybala steps to the side and trips Bifford up with a drop toe hold rattling the ring! ~

Hood: A simple move, and Bifford fell for it! This is weird.

Smith: Zybala is wise enough to know how to handle himself in that ring. And he is gonna need those smarts cause Bifford wants to Piledrive him.

~ Bifford growls in frustration and tries to kick Zybala off, but Zybala has already jumped to his feet, and is backing away. ~

Smith: Zybala is doing what he does best pissing off his foe until they make a mistake.

Hood: But we all know eventually…Bifford will get his hands on him!

~ Bifford again tries to swipe at Zybala, but this time, Zybala just slides outside of the ring to the floor. Bifford goes out after him and begins to chase Zybala around the ring. Zybala reaches the other side and quickly rolls into the ring, as Bifford follows, slightly out of breath, Zybala viciously attacks with a swift kick to Bifford’s face, sending The Big Bifford back to the floor in pain! ~

Smith: Smart move by Zybala!!

Hood: Zybala is controlling this match... and Bifford!! Mark that down as shit I never thought I would say.

~ Bifford gains control of his senses, and climbs the steel stairs and onto the ring apron. Zybala charges, attempting to knock Bifford off, but the big man pulls the top rope down and Zybala goes flying down to the floor, hitting the barrier with his head! ~

Hood: Oh man! That’s gonna turn the advantage big time!

~ Bifford jumps down onto the floor, and grabs Zybala by the hair. Pulling him to his wobbly feet, Bifford whips Zybala into the barrier, and with a resounding thud, Zybala bounces painfully off and onto the floor. Bifford then turns, and rips apart the steel steps... taking the top half to smash onto Zybala. However, Zybala regains his balance and drop kicks the steel steps into Bifford’s face. ~

Smith: Ow! That's twice now that Zybala’s damaged Bifford’s face. It’s amazing he’s not bleeding!!

Hood: He was married to Martha Stewart ya know.

~ Zybala climbs over the steel steps and drives a knee into Bifford’s groin! Bifford rolls over in pain and Zybala turns, grabs the steps, and throws them into Bifford’s side!! Zybala then jumps onto the mat, turns and comes flying down with an elbow to the same area! Bifford gasps in cause it’s his pee pee and that hurts! ~

Smith: Oh man! Zybala’s really laying into Bifford!!

~ Zybala grins widely, climbs back into the ring as Scruff threatens to start counting. Zybala then slides out, pulls Bifford to his feet and pushes him into the ring, not wanting to win by count out. Getting in himself, Zybala drags Bifford up, and whips him into the ropes, Bifford however, manages to reverse the move... and as Zybala comes careening back, Bifford back body drops Zybala onto the mat. ~

Hood: That’s the Zybala I know! Flat on his back like a bitch!

~ Bifford then turns, and moves to the ropes, and returns with a huge Leg Drop! Zybala’s eyes snap open, and he rolls amazingly quick out of the way, letting Bifford crash down to the canvas and missing his target! ~

Smith: That high risk maneuver failed!! I don’t think Bifford’s got much of a chance now!

~ Zybala is grinning as Bifford groans from the missed move as he gets up to his feet. Zybala then begins punching at Bifford, getting him down to a knee when suddenly, Bifford’s hand shoots up and catches Zybala by the throat! Zybala gasps in shock and sudden lack of air, and Bifford struggles to his feet, not letting go of his hold. Now standing, Bifford uses all his strength to Chokeslam Zybala to the mat give Zybala a turn to rattle the ring. ~

Hood: There we go, things moving back to normal.

Smith: What a move!! What a comeback!! Bifford’s up!!!

~ Bifford picks up the dazed Zybala and sets him up.. and delivers a huge powerbomb, right into the corner turnbuckle!! Turning, Bifford glares down at Zybala, picks him up and whips him back into the turnbuckle head first... Zybala bounces back, holding his forehead and Bifford catches him into a back suplex. ~

Hood: For a moment, I got scared Zybala might win.

Smith: Bifford obviously mad about those shoes!

~ Bifford turns, lifts up Zybala's legs and drives a knee into his groin. Zybala cries out and tries to roll away, but Bifford holds the legs up, steps on foot between to the side, wraps the legs around his, and turns him over into the Sharp Shooter.~

Hood: A submission move from Bifford!?

Smith: This is a wear down move... and a painful one at that! Zybala’s struggling to reach the ropes, but Bifford has the move cinched in!

~ Zybala squints his eyes, his rage building and with all his might, pushes with his legs… Bifford stumbles, but doesn’t break the hold, but it’s enough for Zybala to reach the ropes.. he grabs them, but doesn’t wait for Scruff to tell Bifford to let go and Zybala grabs the second set, then pulls himself up to the third set, uses the balance and forces Bifford away. Bifford stumbles out of the move and turns, a small look of surprise on his face. Zybala tries to lift himself up with the ropes, but Bifford gives a swift kick, taking out Zybala’s stand. Zybala falls flat on his back, and Bifford kicks him to the floor. Zybala pushes himself to his feet, twists towards the ring and watches Bifford come sailing out through the ropes!!!! Zybala throws himself to the side and Bifford hits face first into the barrier moving it slightly and the wild Florida OCW Faithful are going crazy!~

Hood: Man, Zybala’s quick! Did he snort some crystal meth?!! Bifford just hit his face for the third time!!

Smith: And it’s the charm, Bifford’s bleeding!!

~ Through blood stained eyes, Bifford sees Zybala crawl slowly, painfully back into the ring. Bifford tries standing, but is groggy from the sudden loss of blood. Scruff, which we’ve mostly ignored up to this point, but does exist climbs out to check on Bifford’ status. Zybala turns and moves to intercept Bifford, who is pulling himself into the ring with much difficulty. Zybala hits a perfect drop kick onto Bifford, who almost made it up, before being sent back down to the mat. Zybala then jumps behind Bifford, and grabs his legs... pulling him around, and applying a Boston Crab! And it is quite a sight considering the size difference.

Hood: Funny looking superkick ya BUM!!

~ Bifford, through the fog of the pain, snaps suddenly clear of his surroundings. Bifford turns and sees they are close to the corner turnbuckle. Bifford grimaces, bites his lip, and strains... and with the effort, sends Zybala careening into turnbuckle once again!! Zybala strikes hard, and falls backwards. Bifford climbs to his feet, a new surge of energy and a need to finish this, looks down at the fallen Zybala! ~

Smith: OUCH!! Zybala’s nearly out!!

~ Bifford bends down confidently to collect Zybala. Bifford pulls him up to his feet, and attempts to turn him over. However, Zybala too, has urgency to guide him.,. and without thought, he jams an elbow into Bifford’s stomach. Bifford backs off, trying to regain his breath, and Zybala gets Bifford into the corner. He goes across the ring and comes running in with a HUGE RUNNING KNEE to the face. Bifford stumbles out of the turnbuckle to be aught wit ha SUPERKICK and a huge CURB STOMP as Biff tries to rise up but eats mat!

Smith: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! FACIAL RECOGNITION! Zybala’s got the match won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Scruff scrambles over, as Zybala covers Bifford. ~

2!!

3KICKOUT!!!!!

~ Scruff’s hand, inches from the mat, stops short as Bifford miraculously rips free of Zybala’s pin sending him up and face first into the mat! ~

Smith: What a show of strength right there!!!

Hood: Zybala should’ve expected that to happen.

~ Zybala is in shock!!! He sits back.. staring at The Big Bifford, who, still gasping for pain, tries to sit up! Zybala can’t believe it, and has trouble regaining his focus. Bifford then sits up, snapping Zybala out of his disbelief, and both men climb to their feet. Bifford turns and stares a burning hole of defiance into Zybala, who in turn, sneers back. The two lock up, and fight for control. Zybala wraps Bifford up into a headlock., but The Big Bifford pushes Zybala into the ropes and shoulder tackles him on the return. Bifford then bounces off the ropes, Zybala drops, Bifford jumps over to the other side, Zybala jumps to his feet, throws a clothesline that Bifford ducks. Zybala then bounces off the other side, and as the two meet in the middle... both hit with clotheslines!! ~

Smith: Both men are down!! Bifford’s face is almost covered in red!! Zybala now has a slight cut on his face as well!! They’re both gasping for breath, but not moving otherwise!

~ Zybala struggles back up, and Bifford follows suit. Bifford attacks, but Zybala knees him in the stomach, and as Bifford bends over, Zybala hooks him, and pedigrees the former two-time OCW Champion. Scruff makes the count. ~

2!!

KICKOUT!

~ Zybala, getting frustrated, pulls Bifford up and swings hard. Bifford though, ducks, kicks Zybala in the stomach and hooks him with a HUGE PILEDRIVER!!!!! ~

Hood: NOW it’s over!!!

~ Scruff hits the mat to count. ~

2!!

3!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smith: It's over!! Bifford wins!

Hood: Thank god, I thought Hell was about to freeze over.

Smith: Zybala came very close!

Hood: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!

~“Raise Your Hands” by Bon Jovi hits the PA system and the fans go wild. PIC emerges onto the stage holding the OCW World Championship belt high as the entire arena gets to their feet.~

Smith: It’s PIIIIIICCCC!!!!!! He’s back!

Hood: Just what we needed. Another guy with a superhero complex.

~The champ heads down the entrance ramp toward the ring when he’s suddenly clipped from behind by Thunder Knuckles! He’s followed down the ramp by The Nickleman and Crash Rodriguez. The OCW title belt goes flying as PIC stumbles forward.~

Smith: What the hell are these guys doing here?

Hood: Making things interesting of course. TK has a vested interest in that world title belt. Not to mention Crash Rodriguez’s history with Mike Zybala and Bifford from GCWA, and Nickleman’s recent feud with Bifford.

~TK continues his onslaught of PIC as he makes it to the ring and rolls in. Bifford and Zybala have both gotten to their feet as the Brotherhood of Bastards surrounds the ring.~

Hood: Here we go! This thing’s about to get good!

~BOB collectively slides into the ring at the same time and each member focuses on one of the faces. TK continues to beat down PIC, Crash heads straight for Zybala, and Nickleman goes for Bifford. Nickleman clips Bifford’s leg, sending him to the mat. He gets on top and begins blasting him in the face with a series of right hands. Crash has Zybala in the corner unleashing a barrage of strikes to his head, mixing in forearms, elbows, and punches. TK has PIC mounted from behind in a rear naked choke trying to get him to pass out.~

Smith: It’s a melé out here! Someone get security to break this thing up!

Hood: Hell no! We need more violence!

~PIC is on the verge of losing consciousness and does appear to now be out. TK drops him to the mat. He looks over to see Zybala now down to his seat in the corner with Crash now putting the boots to his bloodied face. Bifford also appears to be out cold from Nickleman’s onslaught. TK yells to his stablemates and motions for them to help him. Nickleman slides out of the ring and reaches under the apron, pulling out his trademark barbed wire baseball bat. Crash helps TK lift PIC to his feet with TK and Crash on either side holding him up.~

Smith: Dear God, no! After what they’ve done to PIC over the past month. He’s taken that very same barbed wire bat to the back and face. He’s been beaten senseless with a wrench to the point of needing emergency facial surgery! How much more can one man take?

Hood: We’re about to find out!

~Nickleman slides back into the ring with the baseball bat. He sees Bifford starting to stir so he kicks him again for good measure. He then assumes a batting stance and whirls the bat around like he’s taking practice swings. The heat from the crowd is electric as the boos flood the arena. The Nickleman is all smiles as he focuses on PIC’s head. He winds up and swings… the sound of the barbed wire bat cracking against the skull echoes throughout the arena, only it’s not PIC’s skull! At the last second, he moved and pulled TK into Nickleman’s swing path! TK drops to the mat as blood begins to cover his face. Nickleman drops to check on TK while PIC, clearly playing a bit of possum, throws Crash hard into the corner. The crowd goes wild!~

Hood: NO!!!!

Smith: I can’t believe it! PIC pulled TK into the line of fire, and now he’s a bloody mess in the ring!

~PIC rushes toward Crash and smashes him with an elbow. He pins Crash in the corner and turns his back to him, then smashes him with successive elbows from both directions much to the delight of the crowd who counts with each strike. After 8, PIC turns around and allows Crash to stumble out of the corner. Meanwhile, Nickleman is pulling out a bottle of Fireball Whiskey from his waistband. He can be seen wafting the fumes over to TK, clearly trying to stir him back to life as the blood runs down his face.~

Smith: That’s not…..that’s not going to work at all!

Hood: You don’t know that, Smith! These men are Bastards! They’re built different!

~PIC grabs Crash’s arm and whips him across the ring into a SUPERKICK by Mike Zybala!!! Crash goes backwards over the top rope as the arena comes unglued. Nickleman sees what’s happening and tries to rush toward PIC with his whiskey bottle, but is met with a stiff kick to the gut by Bifford! The Fireball bottle falls to the mat, shattering. Biff then positions Nickleman between his legs and looks to the crowd for approval. As they egg him on, Bifford lifts Nickleman and drops him with The Biff End onto shattered whiskey-soaked glass!!! Blood sprays everywhere!~

Smith: Biff End! Holy Toledo! Bifford just planted Nickleman right in the middle of the ring! And his face… exploded? Well, well… how the turn tables!

Hood: Really?

~Crash is up on the outside. He pulls TK out and together they grab Nickleman by the ankle and pull him outside as well. Crash and TK drape one of Nickleman’s arms around both of their necks as they hold him up. Blood leaks down both TK and Nickleman’s faces as they shout obscenities at the three in the ring. PIC looks to the crowd who is in full support. He bounces off the ropes on the far side of the ring, then runs BOB. He leaps up, uses the top rope as a springboard, and executes a perfect 450 splash onto the three BOB members! The arena is shaking from the roar of the crowd.~

Smith: PIC just landed The End Result on the Brotherhood of Bastards!

~PIC rolls back into the ring and begs the crowd for more. He takes a step backward only to bump into Bifford. PIC’s immediate reaction is to turn and draw his fist back, but he drops it quickly when he sees its Bifford. The two engage in a stare down and appear as if they’re going to go head to head, but Mike Zybala steps in and pushes both aside. He yells out “it’s my time” and gets in both of their faces. The three men stand face to face to face in the middle of the ring, yelling at each other.~

Smith: Ladies and gentlemen, in a mere 19 days the three men you see standing in the ring will do battle in a triple threat main event at Hardwired to Self Destruct for the top prize in professional wrestling. The three of them will enter, but only one will walk out as OCW Champion.

Hood: Any mutual respect any of them may have had is thrown completely out the window now. When the world title is on the line, it’s every man for himself.

Smith: You’re certainly right about that. Folks, that’s our show for this evening. There’s no Massacre next week, but join us December 26 for a special edition of OCW Piledriver on Boxing Day. We’ll have a few exciting matchups for you that day as we run down the final card for Hardwired to Self Destruct and hear from each of the three competitors for the OCW title ahead of that epic encounter. Until then, I’m Smith, this is Hood… have a great evening!

~ The broadcast fades out to the OCW Hardwired to Self-Destruct banner. ~