OCW Presents: Margarita Mix
LIVE! Sunday, August 28th 2022!
FROM: Safe Haven
IN: Newport, Rhode Island
A pair of feet are propped atop a love seat that’s seen better days. It’s lopsided, tattered and torn. The feet sport a pair of flip flops intermingled with some toes that need more than a little TLC. The feet bounce around to some early 00’s rock blaring from an old, square television. The image isn’t great but we can quickly make out footage from OCW’s ‘golden era’ in the early 00s. A promo for a ppv long since forgotten.
Pulling back we see the feet connected to a pair of hair legs which are eventually covered by some basketball shorts. Two hands enter our view, one on each arm of the rickety, noisy recliner. One hand grips a Miller High Life. The other dips into an opened container of Birthday Cake Oreos.
The MIDI version of ‘Figure 8’ by Trust Company battles the television for audio dominance. The man’s hand leaves his Oreos to snare a flip phone in his lap. He flips it open and answers the call.
“No, I’m retired.”
“I don’t care if it’s the MIX.”
“No, I’m retired.”
“Okay, fine.”
He hangs up, finishes his High Life and slings it at the TV. It shatters against side of the television but the impact did switch the anachronistic entertainment device off. It’s apparent by the act and the pile of glass under the television that this is his brute force remote control.
Standing up, he stretches, box of Oreos in his right hand. He brings them to his face and dumps what’s left into his mouth, chewing and chewing and chewing. A standard ring sounds out followed by the sound of a machine working very, very hard. He heads that way, scratching his ass. A fax is incoming. He pulls it from the machine and reads a note written in crayon.
“MIX IS COMING AND I NEED A PARTNER. CALLING ALL HALL OF FAMERS. BOB GRENIER.”
Our view suddenly does a 180 and we get a shot of our focal point. It’s Curt Canon! His eyes narrow.
“I’ll be your huckleberry,” he says with several pieces of Oreo cookie flying from his mouth. Millie runs into view, eating the debris.
Bob appears outside Curt’s house. Curt greets him and they do the secret OCW Hall of Fame handshake which we cannot show because it’s secret.
En route to the location, Curt stares out the window. His mind focused on the MIX and what it’s meant to him throughout the years.
Teaming with Scott Syren. Reaching the finals only to taste defeat at the hands of Melinda Rhodes and Vincent Langston.
Curt winces.
Teaming with Big Bifford only for the MIX to get cancelled. Ruining what was probably his best shot at MIX glory.
Curt winces.
He looks over at Bob. The third fellow Hall of Famer he’s teamed with in an effort to finally win the MIX. Is this the year?
A tournament that is about teamwork and rapport more than anything else. Placing all your hopes and dreams in the hands of another. Trust. Reliability. It’s paramount in OCW’s yearly summer spectacular.
Curt prefers retirement. But there’s something about the MIX that keeps bringing him back. As it does so many others.
A white whale in professional wrestling. There is no achievement more coveted in this sport than Margarita Mix glory.
He knows he can trust Grenier. He knows he can rely on Grenier. Now, the only question is whether or not they have what it takes. Who all is in the field this year? I mean, it’s not like Curt keeps up with this stuff anymore.
“No fuckin clue,” Bob replies. Did Curt ask that out loud? Or can Bob hear his inner thoughts. If it’s the latter, holy shit these guys are already ahead of the game.
It won’t take long for these two warriors to find out. They arrive to Safe Haven. Thad’s mansion in Rhode Island. The long drive to the estate is awe inspiring for most...but for these two grizzled vets, it all seems a bit much. They reach the front of the estate and exit. A valet is there to drive Bob’s car to a designated parking area. He gets behind the wheel and begins coughing. Let’s hope Thad doesn’t drug test these guys on a regular basis.
Bob and Curt ascend the many steps to the opulent front door providing entry into this magnificent estate. Bob looks at Curt. Curt looks at Bob. Neither man knows quite what to expect.
Before they can knock or ring a doorbell...the door is pulled back by the owner himself. OCW’s head honcho, Thaddeus Duke. He steps aside, motioning toward a giant room where a bunch of OCW wrestlers are dancing to music from a bygone era.
“Gentlemen, welcome to the MIX.”
“What the…”
“Fuck.”
Curt and Bob are already finishing each other’s sentences. They enter. They spot Dolly Waters and Thunder Knuckles. They turn and see CYPHER and Sahara. Ricky Rodriguez and Ally Cally dance right past them.
What is going on? This is a wrestling tournament. Not mother fuckin prom.
Ray Ray and Brett Daniels are moshing around. Security walks up and taps them on the shoulder, removing them from the dance.
“Shit,” Curt looks at Bob. What do they do?
Dane and Cass are asleep on the floor. Security walks up and drags them off the floor.
“Dropping like flies,” Bob ascertains.
Claudius Augustus tries to do the Dirty Dancing pose with Storm...but Storm botches it and falls on top of him. Security rushes in, removing them from the floor.
“Should we?” Curt asks. Bob refuses to answer.
SEB and Sloane Taylor are showing off some amazing moves. So much so that everyone pauses, watching them. An act that seems to piss Sahara off. So she barks at Security. They rush in and remove SEB and Sloane from the dance floor.
“We’d better do something, or else-”
Security grabs hold of Curt and Bob to remove them. Bob shoves them off. Curt delivers a hip toss to one of the members. His body flies into CJ and JNS. CJ rushes up, punching Curt. Bob goes after JNS...the brawl spills into PIC and TLS. They fight back...before you know it, the entire dance has turned into a brawl. The remaining 16 MIX competitors punching, kicking, and throwing each other around.
Thad looks on. Guess he should have known better than to invite these animals into his pristine home.
TLS is thrown through a window. Dolly grabs a punch bowl full of red liquid and dumps it all over Crash! Ball Ball responds by dunking on Dolly. TK dives in, spearing Ball Ball to the ground. It’s mayhem!
Ricky is thrown through a wall. PIC jumps up, grabbing onto a chandelier...but it rips from the ceiling, crashing onto the ground atop PIC.
Amid all the chaos, Curt sees the MIX trophy in the center of the room. People brawling around it. He makes his way for the coveted prize. Darting and weaving and dodging fists and kicks. He leaps into the air for the MIX trophy...his fingers inches away from snaring the prize when.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Curt sits up in his hotel bed. Eyes wide.
He looks over at his clock...then down at his cell phone.
“Shit, it’s time for the MIX!”
Curt leaps out of bed and begins to get ready...heading into the shower. He shuts the door, turning on the water...the door opens back up as his hand reaches out, grabbing a room temperature High Life. The bathroom door shuts and is locked.
We get a shot of a regal envelope with an invitation that cost more than it should have resting atop.
“You are cordially invited to this year’s MIX. Don’t be late.”
We slowly fade out.
~We fade into Safe Haven, Rhode Island!! The estate of OCW majority MAJORITY owner Thaddeus Duke. The man who now owns 90% of the prestigious Red and Black. He IS proud and strong. Our focus turns to the back of his estate. A yard filled with OCW fans. But these aren’t your regular OCW fans. Nope. These people paid LOTS OF MONEY to attend this shindig. They’re dressed in their finest. Seersuckers, white shorts, sweaters tied around their necks...popped collars. Oh yea, it’s the elite of the elite. There’s an aisle created via rope leading from the back door of Thad’s estate, to the ring. BUT WHERE IS THE RING, YOU ASK? I’m about to tell you. Chill out. This estate is water front. So, the ring is out over the water! Yep. It’s Clash at the Coast all over again! The ring, buoyed by lots of heavy, floating devices is sturdy and ready to house tonight’s competition. Surrounding the ring are tons and tons of boats. Some are sail boats. Some are your run of the mill fishing boats. All filled with as many fans as they can hold who want to observe the action. A spectacle worthy of the MIX. A spectacle worthy of closing out what’s been a tremendous summer in OCW! We find Hood and Jones who are calling the action off in the distance, on the back porch of a guest house~
Jones: Hello again everyone and welcome to this year’s Margarita Mix! I’m your host, Jones and alongside me, as always, is Hood!
Hood: Now THIS is what I’m talking about. This fuckin guest house is worth more than 90% of regular homes! We’ve got a wait staff. A nice breeze. No fuckery from those idiot wrestlers. We should host every event here.
Jones: I’m certainly pleased with our accommodations. OCW owner Thaddeus Duke has rolled out the red carpet for OCW and OCW’s most financially successful fans.
Hood: Look. I don’t want to hear any shit about how this event was only available for the ELITE and how that isn’t fair. We wrestled in Djibouti. We wrestled on a fuckin island where we were deserted for an entire month. We wrestled on an AMISH farm which was hot as fuck. And as if those locations weren’t rough enough...we were in New Mexico last month! We’ve earned this.
Jones: The Elite is a demographic just like everyone else and, yes, they deserve to have an event catered to them just like everyone else. So, yea, no argument from me.
Hood: Thank you!
Jones: Fans, tonight we will crown this year’s Margarita Mix winner! 16 competitors have advanced to tonight’s event all with the hopes of winning the MIX trophy and earning a shot at the OCW Title.
Hood: And that’s not all! We’ll get the end of Alice Knight as Scott Stevens will sacrifice her in the name of whatever religion it is he’s pushing.
Jones: So you’re not a fan of his religion...you’re just a fan of Alice Knight’s death.
Hood: Exactly. Finally, a play by play man who gets me.
Jones: Another singles match is perhaps the biggest singles match of the year. Thaddeus Duke, OCW’s majority owner, will return to the ring to face OCW’s fastest rising homegrown talent, Easton Alexander. The reverberations that will emanate from this match and it’s result cannot be understated.
Hood: If Duke loses...I don’t know, man. What does an owner do if he’s smacked around by one of his employees? And, if Easton loses...how does that do anything other than further damage Thad’s reputation backstage...which isn’t great, if you didn’t know.
Jones: Thaddeus Duke is pro wrestling royalty. He’s won at an elite level every where he’s competed. An instant name a company can build around. Easton Alexander hopes to one day become a main event level player. But, tonight, he faces a man who has not only achieved everything...but is also his boss.
Hood: Without a doubt this is Easton’s toughest test. The biggest fight of his life.
Jones: Yep. And then there’s the MIX. 16 main event level competitors comprising 8 of the most unique teams you’ll ever find. Do you have a favorite?
Hood: Whew. Man, putting me on the spot. Well, CYPH3R’s been unstoppable and Sahara does have the home court advantage...so, I’m going with them.
Jones: A very popular choice.
Hood: What about you?
Jones: Well, as the Play by Play man I wouldn’t feel right making any on-air predictions.
Hood: Bastage!
Jones: Folks, it’s the biggest event of the summer! Fall is just around the corner. But, before spooky season hits OCW, let’s take one final dip into the pool, one more cookout...one last party. It’s time for THE MIX!
~Belvedere stands at the edge of the Duke estate, a metal walkway leading from the grounds, over the water, out to the ring. He’s not dumb enough to be in that ring...too long a walk back. He’s dressed in super dapper fashion with a vodka martini in his hand. He delicately speaks into the mic~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen.
~The crowd on the grounds give a very polite golf clap~
Belvedere: It is now time to begin The Margarita Mix!
~HUGE ovation from the patrons out on their boats, situated around the ring. The residents on the grounds sorta sneer. They deem the people on the boats as intruders...lower class. The people on the boats prove who and what they are immediately by chanting ‘OCW! OCW! OCW!’~
Belvedere: The following contest is the first Quarterfinal Mix match of the evening! Introducing first…
~Hooked on a feeling begins to play as the elite crowd looks around like, ‘ugh, this song?’~
OOGA-CHAKA OOGA-OOGA
I can’t stop this feeling
~Lavar Ball exits Thad’s mansion and stands, ready to introduce Ball Ball!~
When you hold me
IIIIIIIIIIIIII”MM
~Ball Ball exits Thad’s estate, crip walking.~
HOOKED ON A FEELING!
Belvedere: From Khartoum, Sudan. Standing at a staggering 7’2, he is the tallest man to ever kick your ass… BALL BALL!
~Ball Ball makes his way down the roped aisle. The elite fans stare up at him in awe at his height. Lavar talks a bunch of hype as he leads Ball Ball to the water. They pause and Ball Ball looks around...NO GOONS. He seems sad and confused
Jones: Ball Ball isn’t used to competing without a contingent of GOONS to cheer him on.
Hood: Should come as no surprise that Thad did not allow any GOONS to purchase a ticket to this thing.
Jones: Seems kinda unfair.
Hood: Only reason being they couldn’t afford the tickets. You think GOONS have money? Please.
~"No Love" by Death Grips hits! Once again these elite fans are turned off by the NOISE infecting their ears. Lou steps out of the mansion with a stale, stiff, dirty brown coat covering a wrinkled button up shirt. He’s trying to look stylish but, let’s face it, he probably hasn’t bought a new suit in over twenty years. Regardless, his confidence never wavers. Crash steps out of the mansion, toting the Craze Title. Lou slaps the belt and yells out, “THE UNQUESTIONED CRAZE CHAMPION!” A few of the fans murmur...they saw last Monday’s event. Plenty of questions surrounding it. Lou leads the way with Crash following...we can only assume Bash is in good hands. They reach the end of the aisle and Crash looks up at Ball~
Belvedere: From Kansas City, Missouri...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 207lbs...he is the OCW Craze Champion...he is Crash Rodriguez!!!
~Crash looks up at his partner, crestfallen over the lack of GOONS. Crash pats him on the back and offers words of encouragement to get Ball to head down the ramp over the water, leading toward the ring. Lou and Lavar are left behind...no room for them out there. They turn and head back into the mansion to catch the match on TV~
Jones: And there they are...the team of Ball Ball and Crash Rodriguez. They had to defeat Sloane Taylor and SEB to make it here.
Hood: Huge win for both, even if JPD can kinda, sorta be credited...or blamed for the outcome.
Jones: They stood toe to toe with two of the best wrestlers in this profession and emerged victorious. A huge win for Crash and a monumental win for Ball. But, tonight, the task gets tougher as they face the #1 seeded team in the MIX...a team featuring two of the most dominant wrestlers in OCW.
~Crash slides into the ring. Ball hops onto the apron and steps in over the top rope. Crash heads toward the water and climbs onto a middle buckle staring out at all the boats and the rowdy contingent of fans...they are cheering and going wild, ready for some action. Ball looks out for some GOONS...but he doesn’t find any. Ball Ball is sad~
Belvedere: And, their opponents…
~Every Breath you take by the Police hits and the infamous TLS makes his way out of Thad’s estate. Not sure how he feels about staying in there, given his take and thoughts on Thaddeus Duke. But, it’s required. He steps down and enters the aisle, surrounded by the elite of the elite in regards to pro wrestling fans. He stops, spotting an ultimate Karen looking woman. He offers to autograph her breasts. She gasps, appalled. TLS continues walking, reaching the walkway to the ring...he stops and holds his Oh Shit Contract briefcase in the air~
Jones: He was gifted that last week which means he can challenge the OCW Champion wherever and whenever he wants.
Hood: And given the champion is IN PTSD...that should make for some interesting locker room talk.
Jones: TLS might be saving it for if/when Kali does lose. He can cash it in and promptly reclaim the title for PTSD.
Hood: That’s assuming he thinks that far ahead. He wears a mask. He’s an idiot.
~The intro to "Raise Your Hands" by Bon Jovi begins to play over the PA system as the crowd nods their heads and actually gets into this one. These elite think Bon Jovi is pretty bitchin.~
~The crowd gives their biggest pop so far as they dance and sing along. PIC emerges from Thad’s estate and he heads down the aisle, Savage Title strapped around his waist, high fiving the elite fans.~
You, you got a nasty reputation
RAISE YOUR HANDS! when you wanna let it go
WOOOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!
RAISE YOUR HANDS!
~PIC reaches the edge of the estate and stands next to TLS. He looks down at TLS’ Oh Shit briefcase. TLS looks at PIC’s Savage Title. Some serious hardware shared between these two. The duo turn their focus toward the ring and they head down the metal ramp toward the beginning of what could be a long, long evening~
Belvedere: The #1 ranked team in the MIX! The Oh Shit! Contract holder and the OCW Savage Champion...the team of PIC and TLS!!!!
~PIC and TLS drop their precious items at ringside and they slide into the ring! Crash and Ball Ball are ready! A brawl breaks out in the center of the ring! The fans on the boats go wild! The elite fans gasp, wondering why they are attacking before the bell rings. PIC pummels Crash backwards, against the ropes...he steps back and clotheslines Crash over the top rope!! Crash hits the apron and bounces onto the metal siding that extends a few feet outside the ring, to prevent people from automatically hitting the water. PIC turns and sees Ball Ball dunking on TLS’ head!! TLS is staggered...Ball Ball then throws his arms in the air...but he hears NO GOONS. He looks around, confused...TLS kicks him in the chest, sending him flying through the ropes, down onto the metal siding next to Crash! The boat fans go wild once more! PIC extends a fist and TLS gives him the bump. These two are definitely on the same page~
Jones: A fast start for the #1 team in this tournament. Two veterans of the sport...they understand how these events work. You just have to jump into the deep end. No point in being cautious.
Hood: Nice water analogy you fuckin dweeb. I’m just worried about Ball Ball. He’s thrown, man. He misses his goons.
Jones: Well, he’s gonna have to get over it.
~Crash gets to his feet...he extends his hand, helping Ball Ball up. TLS and PIC find their corner. TLS takes the apron with PIC remaining in the ring. Crash slowly removes his Craze Title and sets it up against the post in his team’s corner. He then slides in as Ball Ball steps onto the apron and grabs the tag rope. Finally, the bell sounds and we’re underway! The elite fans give a nice golf clap. Crash and PIC circle each other...two OCW Champions. Crash licks his lips, we see a little bit of blood from PIC’s right hands. He scowls...PIC can sense what’s coming. Crash lunges forward with a tie up! They lock up!! PIC quickly snares a side head lock, trying to keep Crash under control but Crash throws him into the ropes...PIC bounces off and Crash spins around with a back elbow...but PIC hooks Crash around the waist. Crash, however, throws a second back elbow...this one connects! PIC stumbles into the ropes...Crash shoves him back and whips him off...PIC charges across the ring, bounces off the ropes and he flies into the air with a forearm...Crash dodges and hooks PIC around the waist. PIC throws a back elbow...but Crash ducks, maintains his grip, lifts PIC up and plants him into the mat with a Belly to Belly. Crash pops to one knee and begins to punch PIC in the head~
Jones: Tremendous action early on between the Savage and Craze Champions.
Hood: Two of the most talented, hottest wrestlers in this entire industry. The MIX is officially underway, man!
Jones: Yep. Tonight is going to be wild. 16 elite competitors all vying to earn that MIX trophy.
~PIC rolls over, to protect his face from being battered. Crash grabs him by the hair from behind and slams him, face first into the mat. He then pulls PIC to his feet and drags him to a neutral corner where he slams PIC’s face into the top buckle. He turns PIC around and hammers him in the head with a right hand...and another and another. Crash climbs to the middle buckle, raises a fist and waits...the fans on the boats cheer...they’re bloodlusting, crazed individuals. Crash brings that fist down as fast as he can...as many times as he can...the fans quit counting at 13...how unlucky. Crash hops off...PIC stumbles toward him, Crash catches him, spins around and BAM! Spinebuster into the center of the ring. Crash rises up to one knee, staring down at the Savage Champion~
Jones: Crash is on fire!
Hood: Yea, you have to wonder if the teams who wrestled last week have an advantage over the ones with the bye. I mean, they got a match under their belts...a match to work on their chemistry.
Jones: That’s a good point, Hood. Plus, Crash and Ball Ball defeated a team many thought had a legitimate shot to win the entire MIX.
Hood: Yep, they were tested harder than any other team in the Qualifying round.
~Crash pulls PIC back to his feet and whips him into his team’s corner. PIC hits hard! The entire ring shakes atop the water. Crash charges in with a HUGE splash into PIC. He then tags in Ball Ball! The tallest, skinniest man in OCW history steps over the top rope, entering into the match. Crash exits. Ball Ball brings his hands high into the air and he starts dunking on PIC’s head...over and over. He then backs away...PIC stumbles forward...Ball Ball raises one hand high in the air and SMASH! He tomahawk dunks on PIC’s skull! PIC falls to the mat, staring up into the bright Rhode Island sky...his eyes glazed over~
Jones: PIC’s head is taking a beating.
Hood: I’m no fan of masks but I bet he’s wishing he still had that Amick mask on right about now. Would absorb some of that punishment.
Jones: This is his first PPV without the mask...well, sorta.
Hood: His first PPV advertised as PIC, at least.
~Ball Ball bends down and wraps his hands around PIC’s head. He may be skinny, but he’s got that wiry strength. He deadlifts PIC off the mat, high into the air, holding him by the head. PIC kicks his legs before bringing them up and into Ball Ball’s body. PIC throws a few punches into Ball Ball’s head, rocking the big man. PIC gains the momentum and falls back, tossing Ball Ball over with a Monkey Flip!! Ball Ball hits the mat hard, arching his back in pain! PIC remains down for a moment...the fans on the boats go wild~
Jones: PIC fighting back! I know they are the favorites heading into this but Ball Ball and Crash did defeat SEB and Sloane Taylor. Two world class competitors.
Hood: Yep. Ball Ball is improving. Everybody knows it. If you’re going to beat this guy, better do it now.
Jones: I can’t argue that.
~Ball Ball gets to one knee. PIC pops back to his feet. Crash reaches in, trying to grab him, but PIC throws a back elbow, smacking Crash in the head. PIC charges at Ball Ball. Ball Ball gets to his feet and PIC flies through the air with a forearm!!! BAM! Ball Ball stumbles back into a corner. PIC backs up before leaping into the air and hitting Ball Ball with a dropkick, smashing his body into the buckles!! PIC is back on his feet...Ball Ball staggers out and PIC takes him over with a quick armdrag, holding onto the arm. He drags Ball Ball into his team’s corner and tags TLS into the match~
Jones: Great teamwork thus far by the #1 seed.
Hood: Well, these guys did ‘grow up’ together, as far as this industry goes. Whether they’re friends or enemies, there is a certain amount of chemistry there.
Jones: Yep.
~TLS enters. PIC extends Ball Ball’s arm and TLS kicks it! Ball Ball falls to the mat, holding his right shoulder. Crash points and yells at Scruff...but this shit is all legal. TLS throws another kick into Ball Ball’s shoulder, from behind. Ball Ball falls face first onto the mat, clutching his shoulder in pain. TLS lifts his leg up and slams the boot into Ball Ball’s shoulder, holding the pressure...digging his heel into Ball Ball’s joint. Ball Ball yells out in pain~
Jones: Joint manipulation. TLS certainly has a sadistic side, as we’ve seen throughout the years.
Hood: Yea, PIC’s the nice guy in this team. Don’t forget that.
~TLS jumps up and brings his foot crashing down into Ball Ball’s shoulder! Ball Ball rolls around, clutching his shoulder in pain. Crash starts to enter the ring but TLS rushes over and punches him in the head! Crash falls off the apron, landing on the metal siding around the ring. TLS points down at him, issuing a warning. He turns. Ball Ball is struggling to his feet, holding his shoulder. TLS runs him over with a clothesline. Ball Ball hits the mat hard~
Jones: TLS in total control. The Oh Shit! Contract holder is looking like a future OCW Champion right now.
Hood: Yea, there’s something to be said for having ‘been there’. TLS has the composure of an accomplished veteran. Meanwhile, Ball Ball continues to wrestle in these matches that are the ‘biggest match’ of his career. It can be kinda overwhelming.
Jones: That it can. Both TLS and PIC have reached the apex of this profession, albeit in other promotions. Crash and Ball Ball are still seeking their first World Championship victory.
~TLS looks over at PIC and heads that way, tagging him back into the match. TLS turns back to Ball. Ball is fighting to his feet...TLS charges forward and throws a boot into Ball Ball’s shoulder!!! Ball Ball yells out, falling back to the mat. TLS yanks him off the mat, quickly and hoists him onto his shoulders in the Electric Chair position. PIC jumps up and springboards off the top rope with a flying forearm!!! SMACK!! He hits Ball Ball right in the face, sending the big man tumbling over, landing front first on the mat!!! The crowd pops!!! The fans on the boat go wild! The elite fans on shore nod and whisper, “good show.” PIC crawls over, pushing Ball onto his back. He makes the cover as TLS exits the ring...Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
KICK OUT!
Jones: Ball Ball kicked out but, man, he’s in bad shape.
Hood: Yea, his dunking is gonna be limited with that fucked up shoulder.
Jones: He needs to make a tag to Crash as soon as possible...otherwise, it’s gonna be a short night for the tallest man in OCW history.
~Ball Ball tries to fight to his feet, but PIC is quick to grab his right arm, twisting it. Ball yells, on one knee...but he fights to his feet, feeling a sense of urgency. Using his phenomenal reach, he palms PIC’s face with his free hand, shoving him back into the ropes...Ball Ball whips PIC off the ropes, PIC lets the arm go...he bounces off the opposite ropes. Ball Ball lifts a big boot! But PIC slides underneath...he pops to his feet behind Ball and leaps into the air with a dropkick into the back of Ball’s right shoulder. Ball Ball falls forward, hanging out over the middle rope. TLS extends his arm...PIC heads over, tagging him back in. Before TLS enters the ring, he charges across the apron and kicks Ball Ball in the face!!! Ball Ball falls back into the ring. TLS steps in through the ropes with PIC exiting~
Jones: Ball Ball with a brief sign of life only to have it kicked out by PIC and TLS.
Hood: Crash looks frustrated, man. He had his Craze Title match ruined last week and now his MIX chances are going up in smoke.
Jones: Nobody’s had to work harder for success than Crash. He understands how important these opportunities are.
~Ball Ball looks over and sees Crash. He’s got his arm out, yelling for Ball to make the tag. Ball Ball has an incredible reach, but he’s unable to tag Crash in...TLS grabs him by the legs, dragging him back to the center of the ring before he stomps on Ball’s right shoulder, sending the rising star rolling around the ring, holding his shoulder in pain. TLS takes a moment to taunt Crash, a member of the hated group Paramount, standing between Crash and Ball. Crash starts to enter, but Scruff runs over, blocking him. TLS then drops to the mat and grabs Ball’s right arm, twisting and turning the arm, really working the shoulder joint~
Jones: The destruction of Ball Ball’s right shoulder continues.
Hood: Yea, big dude might wanna throw in the towel. Crash will hate him for it, but Ball Ball has to look out for Ball Ball.
Jones: But this tournament is for a shot at the OCW Title, Hood. It doesn’t get any bigger than this.
Hood: Ball Ball will get more shots. Trust me!
~Ball Ball is starting to slow down. His eyes are growing heavy. The pain, the fatigue...it’s all becoming too much. This August sun is beating down on him. TLS continues to twist and turn. Ball Ball needs help. He needs inspiration. Scruff drops down, asking Ball if he wants to give it up, but Ball Ball says ‘no’. However, the ‘no’ is very slow and unconvincing. Scruff leans in, keeping a close watch for Ball Ball to tap or pass out. Crash yells form the apron, “HANG IN THERE, BALL!”~
Jones: The sun is setting on Ball and Crash. It won’t be long before Ball Ball is out.
Hood: He’ll soon be known as the one armed man. If he loses an arm does he also lose a ‘ball’?
Jones: I don’t even know how to begin to answer...wait a minute!
Hood: What is that fuckin noise?
~Some weird sounds emerge on the horizon. A loud horn beeping like a very annoying bicycle horn blares in the distance. A shitty boat...we’re not even sure how this thing is afloat, barrels its way toward the venue. It’s shooting out dark, black smoke that is no doubt increasing global warming at a terrifying rate. Crash and PIC look at the boat. TLS looks that way. The boat crashes into several that have been floating, watching the event, knocking them out of the way, sending people falling into the ocean. And then, we hear the people on the boat...they all yell out “YEEEUUUURRRRRR!!!!” We zoom in and see GOONS! It’s a boat full of GOONS! Dangerously full...like their hanging off the boat and everything! Ball Ball’s eyes shoot open! He starts to fire up to his feet! TLS twists and yanks on the arm, but Ball Ball isn’t feeling any pain! He gets to his feet and begins to chop TLS in the head with his free hand! The Goons are going wild~
Jones: It’s the goons!!!
Hood: A little late to the party.
Jones: I’m sure getting them all on board was time consuming.
Hood: Yea, not to mention navigating a map. That couldn’t have been easy for, ya know, goons.
~TLS reels against the ropes...Ball Ball whips him off…TLS flies across the ring, bouncing off the ropes. Ball Ball spins around, jumps into the air and smashes TLS in the head with a windmill tomahawk dunk with his left hand!!! TLS falls to the mat hard!! The Goons go wild, “YEEEUURRRRRR!!” A few of them fall into the water. Ball Ball crip walks around the ring to a MASSIVE ovation from Goons and some of the fans surrounding the ring. The elites look on like, “What is THIS?!” Ball crip walks up to Crash and tags the Crooked Man into the match!!! TLS reaches his feet, staggered...Ball Ball crip walks up to him before spinning around and delivering a reverse, one handed dunk onto his head...TLS stumbles forward. Crash hits the ropes, flies forward, snares TLS by the head and drops him with a neckbreaker!!! TLS is down! Crash mounts the Oh Shit Contract holder and begins to throw punches down at his face. The goons scream out, “YEURRRRR!!!” Ball Ball exits the ring and throws his left arm high in the air, recognizing his goons~
Jones: And this match has taken an amazing turn! Crash has TLS on the ropes!
Hood: Not literally!
Jones: The goons injected some life into Ball Ball and he single handily turned the tide. The top seeded team in this tournament is in major trouble!
~TLS tries to cover up...Crash’s punches are fast and furious...but, a bit all over the place. This allows TLS the opportunity to roll over, giving up his back. Crash immediately wraps his arms around TLS’ head, pulling back and getting to his feet, pulling TLS up...TLS suddenly finds himself in a sleeper hold. TLS manages to position himself so he can throw a few elbows into Crash’s midsection, staggering the Craze Champion. Crash, realizing that he’s losing his great, regrips, spins around and drops TLS with a neckbreaker!!! TLS reaches for his neck, kicking his feet in pain as Crash sits up, catching his breath~
Jones: TLS was fighting back only for Crash to drop him with a second neckbreaker.
Hood: The crooked man is trying to give TLS a crooked neck!
Jones: A bad neck is no bueno in any situation, let alone a fight.
Hood: Yea, especially tonight. If you wanna win this thing you’ve got to compete FOUR times.
Jones: Yep.
~Crash doesn’t give TLS any room to recover, promptly hooking him in a front face lock. TLS’s ribs breathe in and out as he struggles for air. PIC looks on. For the first time, the #1 seed looks genuinely concerned. TLS gets to his feet...he punches Crash in the ribs a few times but Crash cranks down on that front face lock, sending TLS to one knee. TLS wraps his arms around Crash’s midsection and tries to lift him up. He gets him up but brings him back down. He tries again and fails. TLS gasps for air, he musters all his strength...he hoists Crash up as high as he can...but Crash comes down, dropping TLS on his head with a DDT!!!! TLS goes limp!! Crash dives on top of TLS for the pin! The Goons jump up and down, nearly capsizing their boat. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3...NO!
Jones: So close! Crash compressed the already injured neck of TLS with that huge DDT and damn near scored the pin!
Hood: Close to a huge upset here, Jones. If Crash and Ball get the win they’ve gotta be the favorites moving forward. How crazy would that be?
Jones: It’s the MIX, Hood. Any and everything is possible!
~Crash is quick to snare TLS by the head after the nearfall. TLS fights to his feet, showing the determination and OLD MAN STRENGTH these vets possess. Crash wrenches on his side headlock, expecting TLS to drop back to a knee...but, instead, TLS hoists Crash up and drops him on his head with a side suplex!!! Crash is down! TLS is down!! The goons gasp! A TLS fan cheers...one of the goons fires a gun at him and the man lets out a WILHELM SCREAM as he falls off his boat, into the water~
Jones: TLS giving it everything he’s got to keep defeat at arm’s length.
Hood: Yea and I think the goons just shot and killed a man.
Jones: I’m going to choose to just ignore that.
Hood: Good call.
~Crash sits up, holding the back of his head. He sees TLS slowly rolling onto all fours. TLS spots PIC, leaning into the ring, arm extended. TLS starts the crawl. Crash gets up and runs over, punting TLS in the ribs!!! TLS flies into the ropes, his body bouncing off the bottom rope, sending him front first onto the mat. Crash stomps on TLS, keeping him down. The goons jump up and down, rocking their boat...more goons fall into the water. Crash stops kicking TLS and pulls him to his feet...he spins him around and shoves him, front first into the ropes. TLS leans against the ropes. Crash steps forward and leans down, hooking TLS’ arms~
Jones: Crash Landing! He’s going for Crash Landing!
Hood: Damn, considering how fucked TLS’ neck is...yea, this would end it.
Jones: No doubt!
OOGA-CHAKA OOGA-OOGA
OOGA-CHAKA OOGA-OOGA
OOGA-CHAKA OOGA-OOGA
Deep inside of me
Girl, you just don’t realize
What you do to me
In your arms so tight
You let me know
Everything’s alright
We're in a sticky situation
It's down to me and you
So tell me, is it true?
They say there ain't nobody better
Well, now that we're together
Show me what you can do
You're under the gun, out on the run
Gonna set the night on fire
Out on the run, under the gun
Playin' to win
RAISE YOUR HANDS! when you wanna let a feeling show
RAISE YOUR HANDS! from new york to chicago
RAISE YOUR HANDS! new jersey to tokyo