OCW Presents: Carpe Noctem
LIVE! From THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS
In Death Valley, California
Sunday, February 27th 2022!

The OCW logo begins to crack. It grows brittle. It turns a golden, sandy color before a gust of wind blows it all away, grain by grain. The dark background fades into a hazy, arid climate. Large, dunes of sand roll one after the other beneath our overhead view. For miles and miles, the sand stretches without any sense of hope that something resembling salvation awaits. An empty, barren desert of despair.

“In the beginning there is nothing. Uncharted territory has a way of defeating a person before they ever get started. Darkened, forgotten paths remain so because the average person is too unaware or scared to traverse them. Barren landscapes beat away explorers with their harsh conditions.”

Panning across this endless sea of sand, we begin to lose hope. Coming to rest...the wind bounces off the dunes, hitting our view with tremendous force. Sand slapping against the screen with such ferocity we wince and blink out of instinct. A pivotal moment has arrived.

“It is the moment when ordinary people turn around. When the average person heads back the way they came for fear that certain death awaits. Without the nerves and imagination to continue, they give up the quest before ever truly embarking on it. And, thus, nothing of true experience is ever gained.”

The view hesitates. It starts to turn away from the expedition, ever so slightly.

“But. This is OCW. And, in OCW, we do not turn around and give up in the face of unknown adversity. We push through. We fight. We persevere.”

We turn back around and push through the heaving and howling sand-filled winds. The future is dark. It is opaque. It is far from certain. But, we must see this through. Exploration shouldn’t be easy. Nothing of value ever is.

At danger’s most pivotal moment. Uncertainty’s loudest repetition of ululation. A moment of near-certain imminent death, a few more steps are taken straight into the teeth of nature’s defense. And then, calm. Serenity. Quiet. An eerie state of composure.

“Strength, as always, is ultimately rewarded.”

Light breaks through the dark, windy sand storm. It tears through the uncertainty, ripping away haze to bring clarity. And, through clarity emerges a giant pyramid. A pyramid so grand in scale the average human mind could not conceive of its structure.

“The land of OCW was built long before most of its current faces had heard of its existence. All that remains of OCW’s foundation are memories, ancient relics. Artifacts so grand in scale that modern professionals have trouble believing in their origin.”

Fighting through the ever-shifting sand, we approach the great pyramid. Staring up at the imposing structure, hieroglyphics begin to emerge on the exterior walls. With great timidity, we approach, staring at the nearest hieroglyph. It’s an image of an extremely muscular man ruining another man’s face against a moving surface. It jogs a memory loose. Quicker than before, we shuffle to the side to the next hieroglyph to catch an image of a masked man holding a belt high above his head with a shocked champion standing back, in awe over what appears to be a monumental upset. This, too, jogs a memory.

“Common sense and man’s innate nature to dismiss that which it cannot conceive wage an internal war against a constant stream of evidence. ‘Surely this object is a fabrication. Surely this object could not have been constructed all those years ago. It’s impossible!’ But, bit by bit, the evidence pushes that argument aside and strengthens what, deep down, we know to be fact.”

A hieroglyph depicting a giant steel structure collapsing on two warriors near the end of a brutal contest catches our attention. It, like the previous two, releases a memory that’s remained dormant for years. A fourth hieroglyph shows a man holding his arms up in victory amid a sea of fans. Some fans shorter than others. The drawing makes it very clear this man was a king of the people. Our hand slides from the exterior of the pyramid.

“Scott Syren, Lurrr, DareDevil, Johnny Hunter...SiLVeRFReaK…”

Names of the warriors who were responsible for OCW’s foundation.

“It’s true. It’s all true.”

The stories passed down. The legacies recanted from old generations to young. Stories that sounded were too fantastical to be possible. It was all true.

Hieroglyph after hieroglyph jogs memory after memory. Bringing to life the stories we’d been told for as long as we can remember. This great pyramid, constructed by the sweat, blood, talent, and determination of those that came long before.

An unbelievable sight. Made only greater by the revelation that a second pyramid of equal size sits, hidden behind it. Stumbling through the sand, we reach this second great pyramid. As we approach, it becomes clear this one is different from the first. It feels – unfinished.

“With each event, OCW history is written. The warriors of today cement their legacy next to the foundation laid by those from previous generations. A foundation with both plenty written and much left to be said.”

Staring up the side of the pyramid, the hieroglyphs end at the midway point. It becomes a blank slate. OCW’s history, to that point, rests uncertain. The story is far from finished.

“A king rests atop his throne.”

The final hieroglyph depicts a man seated, sloppily on a throne. A crown atop his head. A belt in his lap. Beneath him, arms equipped with clubs and daggers (and a scythe!) reach toward him in a frenzy to usurp him from his place of power.

“Challengers amass. Each with one common goal. To remove the king and take his place.”

Focusing on the bare space next to the final hieroglyph. It dawns on us that history is about to be written. History that will remain etched in stone, forever. Visible to those with the bravery to reach and view it.

“Tonight, history will be written. A legacy will be cemented or a new reign will shake the landscape. Either way, OCW’s unrivaled history will be altered.”

An unfamiliar noise shakes us. At the very base of this second pyramid, a cement door slides open. Rock on rock, it hurts our ears. Once finished, a dark, howling entrance both greets and warns. We’ve come this far. We’d be a fool to turn around now. So, we step inside, consumed by darkness.

“Step inside The Great Illuminatus. Take in the Pyramid Scheme Match. And, find out, who will Seize The Night.”

A giant gust of wind tosses an unnatural amount of sand at us until it blackens our entire scope. The noise fades. The scene dies out.

~The promo ends and we cut to Death Valley!! Fans are standing everywhere, going wild! They’re being bussed in by vehicles equipped to handle the shaky terrain. “OCW! OCW!” chants fill the typically quiet landscape. We pan around until we get a shot of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. It’s massive. A giant, modern day pyramid reaching toward the heavens...an apex so high we can barely see it. Fans take pictures of it. They stare up at it...it’s unlike anything they’ve ever seen. Dare I say...IT’S BEAUTIFUL. Our view shifts to Smith and Hood who are outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS in a see through tent with monitors, protected from the wind and sand~

Smith: Hello everyone and welcome to CARPE NOCTEM!!!

Hood: The GREAT ILLUMINATUS awaits!

Smith: I didn’t think they could do it, Hood. I really didn’t.

Hood: Did somebody out pizza the HUT?

Smith: NO! The Great Illuminatus...it’s everything I hoped it’d be...and MORE.

Hood: Yea, it’s fuckin cool.

Smith: Fans, we’ve got 15 wrestlers set to enter into THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. There are seven tiers. And, at the end of it all...one wrestler will walk out as OCW Champion.

Hood: Hold on, I’m placing another bet.

Smith: Who now?

Hood: I’m going with TIO...I don’t care if he hasn’t wrestled in months. This FEELS like his moment.

Smith: I think you’ve bet on everyone in the field.

Hood: Hey, fuck you...I didn’t bet on Dadbod.

Smith: Oh, right. Many of the Outcast loyalists...the people who view him as this eras Meyhu. This eras Syren. Many of them have complained that Outcast is getting the ‘shaft’ by being forced to defend his title within THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Hood: Yea, well those people probably quit their workplace because it got too tough. In other words, they are gutless. This is an opportunity. If Outcast leaves tonight as OCW Champion...man, he will, without a doubt, be one of the greatest champions we’ve EVER seen.

Smith: Indeed. Folks...there isn’t a whole lot left to say. I think this structure and the event will do enough of the talking. So, let’s take it to outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS where I’m told Marcus Welsh and Mike Zybala are standing by!

~The crowd is wild tonight. Well, they are every night. OCW brings out the party animal in people. They are caught off guard when Queen's "Princes of the Universe" hits the speakers. Who is this? A new wrestler? A returning hero? Those questions are answered when Marcus Welsh and Mike Zybala walk out. The fans cheer the pair as they make their way out of an owner’s tent and toward THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. They stop in front of the massive structure~

Hood: How low has Welsh sunk by teaming with Zybala.

Smith: Hey, Zybala is a good guy. It just took our G.M. a little extra time to figure that out.

Hood: I think he's still suffering from head trauma.

~The bosses in front of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS where both look microscopic by comparison, both with microphones. The music stops and the fans wait to see what our fearless leaders have to say~

Zybala: Hello OCW faithful!!

~huge pop~

Zybala: We’ve finally made it! We are at Carpe Noctum. A lot of people signed up for it with a few returning faces. All to bring you fans the best action possible.

~More cheers. That is until Zybala turns solemn~

Zybala: Now, I have always been a person of fairness. And Marcus pointed out that I may have abused my power when I tried to make my match against ZyBalda a no dq in my favor. And many wrestlers have made complaints about The Owner being in a world title match. Anonymously, I might add...

~Zybala gives a look at Welsh. Maybe the people complained to Welsh, who then protected their identities~

Marcus Welsh: Well, one of those names tucked tail and ran after B.A.L.D. scorched him hairless and nutless with a promo. But, yes, there were others. It seems, and don't ask me why, but it seems as though competitors aren't exactly thrilled with the prospect of competing against the owner.

~Welsh looks at the camera~

Marcus Welsh: Who would have thought that competing in YOUR OWN FED might cause some issues?

~He provides an exaggerated shrug. Zybala has to stifle a laugh at Welsh's comment, but he quickly composes himself. He turns and looks at Welsh. ~

Zybala: Let it never be said that I never listened to the concerns of my employees. Hey Marcus, how much cash do you have on you? What do you got in you pockets right now?

~Welsh feels around and he removes a few twenty dollar bills to go along with a $25 gift card to Applebees~

Marcus Welsh: It ain't much. But it's honest.

~ Zybala looks at the money and gift card, ponders for a moment and takes the cash and card from Welsh. Welsh looks absolutely perplexed as Zybala stuffs the money in his own pockets before holding out a hand to Welsh. ~

Zybala: Congratulations, Markie Mark. You just bought yourself 90% ownership of Online Championship Wrestling™ and 10% of Outsiders Championship Wrestling™!!!

~ Welsh is standing there unsure of what to do. He's still dealing with the fact that Zybala took his money. Plus, he was planning on going to Applebees this week. Welsh looks at Zybala, confused. He's been GM for many years but never OWNER~

Marcus Welsh: Don't joke with me, Mike. I've been in business for too long to believe you can purchase a fed like OCW for sixty bucks and an Applebees gift card. Other feds? Sure. But not this place.

Zybala: Marcus. I'm not trying to devalue this great fed of ours. I just don't need the money. If I was going to sell you OCW for what it's worth, you would need to take out like 100 extra mortgages. I'm not messing with you. I just don't want people to think that I would use my power to get ahead. Which is why I'm selling you 90% at the friends discount rate. That way, if I get out of hand, you can veto me to keep me honest. What do you say.... Majority Owner??

~Zybala holds out his hand. Welsh, being somewhat of a conniving businessman...at least, in his past. Figures there must be more to this story. But, looking at the man in front of him, he realizes it's Mike Zybala. The most genuine man in OCW history. So genuine, he would literally fight to get his company back only to hand it over out of the kindness within his heart~

Marcus Welsh: If you're sure about this. I mean, you don't want me to hold onto the company while you compete?

Zybala: To be honest with you, I was almost tempted to strip Outcast of the title twice in the past week and make myself champion. I don't want to be that kind of person. Plus, with all the hardships you went through in the past year, I feel like you have been more down to earth and empathetic towards others. There is no one I trust more to lead OCW in the future than you. Plus, I feel me keeping ten percent ownership will be enough to keep us both honest. No tricks, no hustle, no fine print. What do you say?

~Welsh shrugs~

Marcus Welsh: Well, that's enough arguing from me. You've got a deal!

~Welsh and Zybala shake hands as the crowd erupts with cheers. Welsh pats Zybala on the back and tells him to get ready for the match. Zybala heads off, excited. It’s almost MATCH TIME. We cut back to Smith and Hood~

Smith: What a guy!

Hood: I’m not saying that’s the dumbest sale in the history of commerce but...yea, I am saying that. WHAT AN IDIOT

Smith: Hood, he doesn’t want to be seen as tilting the scales in his favor. An owner enters a match like this and leaves with his fed’s championship...it’s a bad look.

Hood: Zybala winning a match like this...owner or not is a bad look. I don’t see how this helps.

Smith: It just does and I for one, applaud it. Way to go, Mike!

Hood: Ugh.

Smith: Alright fans, I’m told we’re going to get right into it. THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS is just about to start. The excitement out here is palpable. You could cut through it with a knife.

~The Knife Man walks by, waving his knife around...he’s very excited~

Hood: Hmm.

Smith: See?

Hood: Well, I’m excited. So much so I’ve fifteen piss jars nearby so I don’t have to leave my post.

Smith: Ew

Hood: One for each wrestler. You see that super full yellow one over there?

Smith: I’m not looking.

Hood: That’s the Alice Knight jar. I had to get that one out of the way first.

Smith: RUDE...folks, before we get this going, let’s cut to a commercial...when we return...The GREAT ILLUMINATUS will get underway

~We cut to commercial~

---

OCW Presents: Luck of the Violent
LIVE! From Dublin, Ireland
Sunday, March 27th 2022

OCW Championship
TBA (c) vs. Chad Vargas

TransAtlantic Championship
Veronica Strader (c) vs. TBA

Savage Championship
BRIM (c) vs. Supreme Machine (c)

OCW Tag Team Championship
The Danger Boiz (c) vs. TBA

---

~We return to the live feed. Smith and Hood remain at their desk. Hood finishes with his second piss jar, this one labeled DADBOD~

Smith: Could you please control yourself.

Hood: Sorry man, gotta stay hydrated in these arid conditions.

Smith: Gross, anyway, I certainly think it’s a wise decision for Zybala to hand over ownership of OCW before stepping inside The Great Illuminatus.

Hood: That guy is an idiot. Or...was that Poblano in Zybala disguise?

Smith: There’s no way that was Poblano.

Hood: ZyBALDa with a wig?

Smith: There’s no way that was anybody other than Mike himself. Let’s get realistic.

Hood: We got owl goddesses and time traveling portals, Smith. Realism went out the window...or through the portal awhile ago. LET’S GET WEIRD.

Smith: Yea, well…

~Zybala is shown heading to his tent to finish preparing. Who’Re tries to get to him. But, she’s blocked off by Knux~

Who’Re: Let me go!! I need to speak with him!

Knux: Sorry. He’s not to be disturbed. The biggest match of his life is upcoming.

Who’Re: That’s exactly WHY I need to speak with him...there’s an owl resting on top of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. It’s an OMEN...I need to speak with him NOW.

Knux: I don’t see any owl.

Who’Re: That’s because it’s WAY up there!

Knux: Nope, sorry. Security!

~Security rushes over and grabs Who’Re, dragging her from the scene and away from Zybala~

Smith: Who’Re is frantic. You see any owl?

Hood: I don’t know, it’s hard to tell. But it wouldn’t fuckin surprise me.

~Who’Re is escorted into a backstage area for lesser staff. She sees a new ref...a man named Tuff. She reaches into her pants and pulls out some brass knuckles. She knocks him out and drags his lifeless body off screen~

Smith: Okay. So Who’Re just assaulted our new referee, Tuff.

Hood: I guess that name doesn’t really hold up. He might need to change it to…

Smith: Waiting.

Hood: I got nothing.

Smith: I didn’t think so. Anyway, everybody is tense...everyone is on edge as we are moments away from -

~Smith is immediately cut off when a giant horn sounds. It blasts the ear drums of everyone within vicinity of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. The fans in attendance duck and cover their ears. The sound system connecting Smith and Hood to our broadcast ruffles and glitches. Our view cuts to a shot of the intimidating structure. It stands, in all it’s glory, towering over everything else. The horn comes to an end and Belvedere’s voice blares out over the landscape~

Belvedere: It is now time to enter THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

~No cheers. More awe from the crowd due to the entire spectacle of what they are witnessing~

Belvedere: Competitors, please make your way to the entrance of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

~Tiny four wheelers equipped to handle the uneven, less than solid terrain are sent to collect and bring forth the competitors in tonight’s event~

Smith: I’m not sure I’d want to be the first to enter that thing.

Hood: It’s called THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. And, greatness awaits those who enter, Smith. Are you a coward?

Smith: I like to think I’m practical and, well, a survivor.

Hood: Aka a fuckin pussy

~The first wrestler arrives. It’s an obvious one. Holding his OCW Championship, we see Outcast step toward the massive structure. He pauses and looks up at the amazing feat of human engineering~

Smith: I got close to that thing earlier today and, let me tell you, it’s scary.

Hood: That’s a pretty mean thing to say about Outcast.

Smith: I’M TALKING ABOUT THE PYRAMID

~A door slides open. Rock grating against rock. A loud thud signals it’s reached maximum width. Marcus Welsh, proudly standing next to the opening motions with his hand for Outcast to enter. The OCW Champion steps forward, taking in the sight...he looks up, head tilting all the way back at the top. He glares at Welsh~

Smith: Outcast has to be wondering if this is a trap. Is it safe?

Hood: Why in the hell would Welsh try and harm his OCW Champion?

Smith: I have no answer to that. The structure is just so large and ominous.

~Outcast spits into the sand and says ‘fuck it’. He heads inside, disappearing into the darkness. The crowd pops~

Smith: And the OCW Champion, as he’s done for nearly a year, leads the way! He’s the first to enter the structure.

Hood: There’s a champion you can be proud of, folks!

~And with the seal broken, the GREAT ILLUMINATUS feels instantly safer. One by one the competitors arrive and enter. PerZag, toting his Craze Championship, steps inside to a strong cheer from the fans. The Incredible One is next. He receives a tremendous ovation from the fans...as any returning legend would. He glares at Welsh before stepping inside~

Smith: Two legends. Two former OCW Champions. Two Hall of Famers.

Hood: No love lost between TIO and Welsh.

Smith: I don’t think TIO gets along with anybody, to be honest.

Hood: No shit. Judging by his latest promo...he can’t even get along with himself!

Smith: Despite all that, he’s one of the huge favorites to leave tonight as OCW Champion.

Hood: Dude’s got nothing to lose, unlike PerZag.

Smith: Indeed. PerZag has to be commended. He’s the only OCW Champion who willingly stepped into this match knowing he could very well lose his Craze Title.

Hood: That took guts. Respect, PerZag.

~The next wave arrive. Grenier is the first to enter...he makes some remark about how black the inside of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS appears from the outside. Welsh tries to hurry him up before he says anything incredibly offensive. Behind him struts and flaps and hoots...ALICE KNIGHT. THE FANS GO WILD!! HOOT~

Smith: THERE SHE IS!!!

Hood: Geezus, you act like her appearance is some unexpected surprise. SHE’S BEEN BOOKED FOR NEARLY 2 WEEKS.

Smith: I’m sorry but I just get so excited when she shows up. Every moment Alice Knight appears on screen is like Christmas Morning!

Hood: Well, you just alienated her entire Jewish fanbase.

~We hear a faint HOOT from above. Alice looks up to see the owl perched atop the GREAT ILLUMINATUS. It’s still there. Watching. Gazing over the action. Alice leans forward, trying to get a visual on what lies ahead. She hesitates. The fans chant “OWL IS NIGHT! OWL IS NIGHT!” A loud clap of thunder ripples overhead. Alice feels around her head...she’s having a great hair day, so to avoid any potential rain, she flaps her ‘wings’ and struts inside. THE FANS GO WILD~

Smith: -gasps-

Hood: What in the fuck is the matter now?

Smith: I just fear for her, Hood. It’s so dark inside.

Hood: SHE LIVES WITH BUMS AND ANTS. She’ll be fine. If anything, she might infect the pyramid.

Smith: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

~And the third and final member of this tier appears. He’s being towed to the pyramid via the hard, hard work of six four wheelers...all spinning their tires as fast and furiously as they can, dragging a giant trailer that contains the massive girth of the unknown PLETHORA. He’s clutching his MIGHTY SCYTHE. The four wheelers begin to smoke. They start to crack and break...gears grinding against gears. One even catches on fire, burning the OCW employee driving it alive. Fans shriek and cover their eyes. Welsh steps forward~

Marcus Welsh: FOR THE LOVE! Kill the engines! It’s too much!! Stop!

Smith: Well, ‘Plethora’ has been on screen for less than thirty seconds and he’s already murdered somebody.

Hood: Pssh. That wasn’t his fault. Blame the shoddy equipment. Cheap ass four wheelers. CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~Feeling the momentum coming to a fiery, deadly halt, Plethora stands. He turns and marches through the sand, holding his MIGHTY SCYTHE high in the air. Welsh tries to stop him, saying, “Whoa, whoa! Plethora! You can’t…” But Plethora blows right past him, toting his MIGHTY SCYTHE inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. Welsh sighs and shrugs, he turns around and motions for the next wave of wrestlers to come forward~

Smith: Great. A six hundred pound homicidal maniac was just allowed to carry his SCYTHE into the match.

Hood: You want to go in there and tell him he can’t carry his scythe?

Smith: I’m sorry but that’s not in my job description.

Hood: Yea, I didn’t think so.

~B.A.L.D. is the first to arrive. He hustles toward the entrance...he turns around and runs his hand over his bald head and yells ‘BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!!!’ The fans respond with a short by ravenous “B.I.B.!” chants~

Smith: And there’s BALD. A surprise entrant into the Great Illuminatus.

Hood: After his words ran Gideon Cross into another dimension, I’m sure he was feeling like conquering the world.

Smith: While I don’t think he has much of a chance tonight. I have to give him credit. He’s showing initiative.

Hood: Doesn’t have a chance? Why? Because he’s BALD?

Smith: We’ve had plenty of BALD OCW Champions, Hood.

Hood: Oh yea? Name one.

Smith: Give me a second.

~A super well equipped minivan pulls up at the entrance. Everybody is like ‘wtf’~

Smith: Uhh

Hood: Talk about witnessing a square peg penetrate a round hole.

~The passenger’s door opens and out steps DADBOD!! A strong ovation from the fans. He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns around, hugging his daughter. He looks at his wife Trina and asks for a goodluck kiss. She half rolls her eyes and gives him a peck on the cheek. She seems to think this is all more than a little ridiculous~

Smith: Dadbod getting some familial support!

Hood: Begrudgingly.

~He steps out. Trina yells from the van, “Don’t forget your lunch! I also put the medication for your GOUT in there. Make sure you take it within the next HOUR.” Dadbod looks around, kinda embarrassed. The minivan drives off. He turns and approaches the dark entrance. Welsh looks at him and then looks down at the sack of lunch he’s carrying. Dadbod begins to feel a sense of independence. He takes the lunch and he THROWS IT OVER HIS SHOULDER!!! The crowd goes wild!! Dadbod beats his chest like King Kong and enters into THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. The fans chant “DADBOD! DADBOD!”~

Smith: The Dadbod is imbibing in the moment!

Hood: Oh man, he better hope that gout doesn’t flare up!

Smith: Could this be Dadbod’s night? He’s the second longest shot in the field.

Hood: Shit, I might as well put five bucks on him. Couldn’t hurt.

~Up next approaches The Lost Stranger. Despite a pick up in wind, his hat remains on his masked head. He steps near the entrance and walks right on in without any hesitation. Welsh looks at him with a bit of surprise but, hey, it’s TLS. He probably spent the past week killing treasure hunters inside a pyramid or something~

Smith: There goes TLS without any hesitation.

Hood: He’s like the king of weird, Smith. This is right up his alley.

Smith: He hasn’t won an OCW Title in 7 years. Could this be the night he returns to the championship circle?

~Up next is DANGEROUS DAN! The fans go wild! Dan’s toting his OCW tag title very proudly. He walks up to Welsh...the two exchange pleasantries. Dan turns his focus toward the dark entrance. He steps forward before turning around and saluting his fans. They go wild~

Smith: Dangerous Dan! So happy to see him give this a go. He’s showing the talent it takes to reach the top.

Hood: You think he might run into PLETHORA?

Smith: Ugh, I hope not.

~Dan acknowledges his fans before hustling into the Pyramid. Suddenly, a guitar strums. And a voice begins to cry out, it sounds like the lead singer of a Mariachi Band! Indeed, it is! A group of gentlemen south of the border sing out their most famous tune as THE MYSTERIOUS EL KNUCKLE leaps from a four wheeler and spins around! His cape flapping in the wind. He stops and shakes Welsh’s hand. A mask concealing his face~

Smith: And there’s El Knuckle! The proud winner of Zybala’s Outsider’s Battle Royal.

Hood: That shit earned him this shot. Man, I wish we knew who he was.

Smith: It’s pretty obvious, Hood.

Hood: Obvious that he’s a master of disguise!

Smith: I don’t want to do this all night.

Hood: Hey, excuse me if I’m trying to solve a great mystery.

~El Knuckle salutes his Mariachi Band before sprinting inside the GREAT ILLUMINATUS...disappearing from sight. All is quiet. The Mariachi Band finishes their song with a loud cry from the lead singer. The fans clap. The band thanks them...they see a ball of sand heading their way~

Smith: What’s that?

Hood: A mini sand storm?

Smith: It’s moving very fast.

~The ball of sand is approaching at a very fast rate of speed. The band freezes. The band leader yells out “ay dios mio!!” The ball of sand BLASTS right into them, sending them flying out of view. Once the sand blows away we see IGGY HARDY!! He’s flexing and already saturated with sweat. A fan yells out ‘MOTHER FUCKIN INTENSITY!!!’ and Iggy Hardy grabs his dick and screams back ‘FUCKIN RIGHT!’~

Smith: Oh, it’s only Iggy Hardy.

Hood: Love this guy!

~Iggy storms and stomps his way toward the entrance. He looks at Welsh. ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THERE?’ he shout asks. Welsh looks around and shrugs, “Um, drugs?” Iggy screams “LET’S GOOOOOO!!!” and he charges into the Pyramid at full speed~

Smith: Iggy Hardy, ladies and gentlemen.

Hood: Imagine a world where Iggy Hardy AND Dadbod are in the same match.

Smith: You just hit me with the frightening realization that Dadbod could face Iggy Hardy inside that Pyramid. He could literally murder the Dadbod.

Hood: And you’d still find a way to blame it on Plethora.

Smith: Whatever.

~The sound of dirt bikes rapidly approaching steals Welsh’s focus. Two dirt bikes tear through the sand before coming to an abrupt stop right in front of Welsh, sending sand flying in his face. Helmets are removed to reveal Meghan and Tamika Strader! The fans go wild! The Cowgirls from Hell are here! They step off their bikes and approach Marcus~

Smith: Well, Welsh is covered in sand.

Hood: I hope he wasn’t using any moisturizer

Smith: I saved mine for in here.

Hood: Geezus. You put some distance between us the next time Alice Knight appears, okay?

Smith: It’s not like that!

~Meghan pats Welsh on the shoulder and brushes some of the dust off his clothes. She turns and enters into THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. Tamika is about to follow her, but Welsh stops the other Strader~

Smith: Hmm.

Hood: I don’t think they can enter at the same time.

~Tamika seems a little annoyed and, possibly, distressed she can’t go in there with her sister. Welsh explains to her. She nods, understanding. She then takes her hand and wipes the sand out of his face~

Smith: A nice moment there.

Hood: Yea, sure, whatever.

~Meghan is inside and locked into wherever she’s supposed to go. Welsh then lets Tamika enter. He wishes her good luck. She smiles and heads into THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS~

Smith: And The Cowgirls From Hell have entered THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Hood: Fighting separately...I’d love it if they had to fight each other!

Smith: That would be cruel!

~And, finally, we’re down to the final entrant. We all know who it is. ‘DREAM WEAVER’ is being sung by the fans. A four wheeler with a roof drives toward Marcus, who stands near the entrance clapping. Atop the four wheeler stands Mike Zybala...he’s roof dancing, like in Teen Wolf, only instead of flipping and stuff he’s doing SUPERKICKS!! The fans are eating it up~

Smith: And here comes our FORMER majority owner.

Hood: Guy is about to step into the biggest match of his life so, naturally, he sells 90 percent ownership beforehand. THIS IS WHY HE’LL NEVER BE CHAMPION.

Smith: He doesn’t want an unfair advantage, Hood. Mike Zybala wants to win that title...he wants to win it as much, it not more, than anyone in history. Only he wants to win it FAIRLY

Hood: Yea, well I hope he trips off of the roof of that four wheeler and breaks his arm or something.

Smith: HOOD! Don’t you wish such a thing prior to entering the GREAT ILLUMINATUS. How terrible!

~The fans are as loud as they’ve been all afternoon. The four wheeler comes to a stop and Zybala leaps off the roof and sticks the landing in the sand. He walks up to Welsh and shakes his hand. Mike is about to enter when Welsh stops him. Welsh points out the owl atop the Pyramid. He tries to talk Mike out of competing~

Smith: Welsh is having second thoughts. He’s worried about Mike’s well being, should he enter that Pyramid.

Hood: That or he’s trying to prevent this company from dying should Zybala somehow win the OCW Title.

~Zybala looks up at the owl. The clouds start to rumble and grow dark at the apex of pyramid. Zybala smiles and pats Welsh on the arm. He assures Marcus he’s going to be fine...there’s no turning back now. He throws a SUPERKICK for the fans, who go wild! He then marches into THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS, leaving a concerned Welsh behind. Our view cuts to inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS...we’re looking out through the opening at Marcus Welsh standing, staring inside. The giant, rock door slowly slides shut. As it does, we see Welsh and all the fans outside...a last check point of safety vanishing before our very eyes until, darkness~

Belvedere: THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS HAS BEEN SEALED. IT WILL NOT REOPEN UNTIL TIER 1 IS FINISHED.

Smith: The wrestlers have entered, Hood.

Hood: Thanks for the update, captain obvious.

Smith: I’m merely calling the action, for the people unable to see what’s going on.

Hood: What, are we on AM radio? We got a lot of BLIND fans out there?

Smith: Leave me alone. Folks, the six wrestlers who have been pushed above Tier 1 will remain in their cell until their opponents win their way to them. The wrestlers who will begin THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS in Tier 1 are currently standing inside a dark room. That room will open one by one as they step into their cell to find out who their opponent in this opening round will be.

Hood: Always suspense!

Smith: Of course.

Hood: Got any predictions? I predict Plethora kills Alice Knight in the Subterranean Chamber with the scepter.

Smith: Did they have scepters in ancient egypt?

Hood: I don’t know, just sounded like something they might have had. Do I look like a fuckin historian to you?

Smith: Excuse me for asking. Fans, I’m told the wrestlers are awaiting in their chambers so lets cut inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS for the very first time to get this underway.

~The five chambers are all shown within their own little box. Each chamber is illuminated with candles stretched out of reach, giving it a dark, ominous glow. The floor to the chamber is comprised of a wrestling mat. Ropes surrounded the floor, like a wrestling ring. There are posts in each corner. The floor/canvas extends a few feet beyond the roped area before the rock/stone walls become a factor. Gruff, Puff, Scruff man three of the rings. The fourth ring features Who’Re as a special ref~

Hood: It’s the WHORE

Smith: Her name is Who’Re, Hood. And I think she’s in there to keep watch. She seems extremely nervous over some owl sorcery that might take place.

Hood: About time she put those tits to use.

Smith: HOOD

~Back inside the chambers. A door slides open and out steps Dangerous Dan!!! The tag champion gets a huge ovation from the fans outside. But, he’s inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS and cannot hear the ovation. He simply steps into the chamber, grabs the top rope and hops over and into the ring. The mat sounds and vibes just like any ole wrestling mat. He bounces around, excited...ready. He nods Scruff’s way.~

Smith: Okay so Dan’s in a chamber with a ref. I’m guessing that means he didn’t draw a bye.

Hood: At least he got Scruff. The chief ref...which is kinda sad, really.

~The chamber on our screen beneath Dan enlarges, taking up the whole screen. A door slides open and out steps Meghan Strader! Another huge ovation from the fans as one of the chief financiers for OCW has entered. She steps through the ropes and, like Dan, tests the mat. It feels fine. She looks at Gruff~

Smith: And one half of the Cowgirls from Hell has entered! She, too, will compete for a spot in Tier 2.

Hood: Man, I hope OCW does the CLASSIC move and puts Tamika in there with her.

Smith: You want them to stop paying your salary?

Hood: … Really hope Tamika gets that bye. She’s totally earned it.

~The third chamber enlarges. A door slides open and out steps B.A.L.D. The fans outside chant “B.I.B.!” BALD cautiously steps through the ropes and onto the mat. He finds comfort almost immediately before turning and catching the ref, Puff~

Smith: No bye for BALD.

Hood: BALD people always get the shaft, Smith.

~A fourth chamber enlarges. From behind the wall steps DADBOD!! Huge ovation from the fans. We cut to an Applebees in Dadbod’s hometown as several families enjoying some ridiculously complicated appetizer let out a very modest and polite cheer. Dadbod enters the ring and stumbles around, taking in his surroundings with a mixture of awe and confusion~

Smith: Not a good start for Dadbod. He appears overwhelmed.

Hood: Yea, well, when you spend your time watching shitty reality TV and eating well done hamburger meat...something like this might be, ya know, a bit much.

Smith: Let’s just hope his gout doesn’t flare up.

~Dadbod stumbles and bumps into Who’Re! He spins around, accidentally touching her boobs~

Smith: Well, Trina won’t like that.

Hood: Dadbod’s gonna be sleeping on the couch for the next month.

Smith: Like the previous four, Dadbod will not have a bye in this first round.

~The first chamber enlarges on screen. A door slides open and it reveals...NOBODY~

Smith: Okay, well, given that chamber had no ref we just all assumed it was reserved for the wrestler with a bye through the first tier.

Hood: Yes, but again, SUSPENSE.

Smith: Yes.

Hood: OR

Smith: Or what?

Hood: OR there’s a ghost behind that door that’s competing and we just can’t see him...or her...or it...OR IS IT THEY?

Smith: It’s ‘please stop talking’

~The five chambers once again share the screen. The four wrestlers inside their chosen chambers move around nervously, anxious as they await their first tier opponent. Meanwhile, that fifth chamber is just hanging out...who knows, maybe Hood is right, maybe a fuckin ghost is warming up in there. Hard to tell~

Smith: Alright, and now we start to find out our match ups.

Hood: So who’s left…

Smith: We’ve got Tamika Strader, Iggy Hardy, TLS, Mike Zybala, and El Knuckle

Hood: Ah, the mysterious El Knuckle. We figured out who he is, yet?

Smith: -stares disappointingly-

Hood: WHAT?

~Each chamber on our screen is highlighted...until one is finally chosen. It’s the chamber featuring BALD!! The fans pop! BALD hears rock sliding against rock. He spins around and sees a portion of the wall opening. He clinches his fist, ready. The rock comes to a rest and out steps...EL KNUCKLE!!!~

Smith: It’s El Knuckle! He’s going to be taking on BALD!

Hood: Man, BALD is fucked again! Now he’s facing a master of disguise!

Smith: El Knuckle may be a lot of things, Hood. But he’s no master of disguise.

~El Knuckle doesn’t seem fazed by his surroundings AT ALL. He’s from Mexico. Not much fazes this guy. He hops onto the ring post in one of the corners and whips his cape around like he’s a super hero or some shit. BALD glares up at him~

Smith: El Knuckle is by far the most comfortable within these strange confines.

~That chamber shrinks and a second chamber enlarges as the wall is opening. Inside the ring stands Dangerous Dan, hopping around, eager to see who will emerge~

Smith: Wait, we’ve got another person entering

Hood: Okay, so who’s on the other end of that wall...is it Plethora?!

Smith: It’s NOT Plethora.

~The door opens and out steps...TAMIKA STRADER!! The fans go wild~

Smith: It’s Tamika! One half of the Cowgirls From Hell! They want those OCW Tag Titles, Hood!

Hood: Yea, well, beating Dangerous Dan would be a good start toward getting them.

~Tamika enters the ring, testing it out like the rest. She finds a corner and locates her opponent. Once her eyes identify DANGEROUS DAN...she smirks as if to say ‘well, that figures.’ That chamber shrinks and another chamber enlarges. This time featuring Tamika’s sister, Meghan~

Smith: And who does Meghan draw? We’ve got TLS, Zybala, and Iggy Hardy.

Hood: Some heavy hitters, for sure. If I were her...I don’t know who I’d choose. Probably Zybala since we all know Poblano is going to portal his ass in there and screw him out of the pyramid.

Smith: We don’t know that!

Hood: Yes we do.

Smith: She’s got some history, already, with two of the three wrestlers. Meghan is helping Zybala finance OCW. Meanwhile, her daughter, Veronica is embroiled in a feud with The Lost Stranger.

Hood: Okay, so let’s give her Iggy Hardy since there’s zero connection there.

Smith: That would be Classic OCW.

~The wall opens and out from the darkness emerges a contemplative, mysterious figure. Stepping into the flickering, orange light is...THE LOST STRANGER~

Smith: And it’s TLS! The very man her daughter is feuding with.

Hood: Well, okay then. This should be interesting.

Smith: Indeed.

~That screen shrinks and another chamber enlarges. It’s the EMPTY chamber. The wall starts to open~

Smith: Looks like we’re gonna find out who got the coveted bye in this tier.

Hood: It’s either Iggy or Zybala, right?

Smith: Right.

~The wall opens and a mighty SUPERKICK bursts forth, bringing Zybala’s body along with it!! The fans go wild!!! Zybala somersaults over the top rope and into the ring. He looks around, ready to fight. Slowly, he lowers his fists when he discovers he’s all alone~

Smith: Zybala will automatically advance into Tier 2. And, with that, he’ll earn, for the time being, a Craze Title shot.

Hood: How convenient that the owner of OCW gets a bye through Tier 1. CLASSIC OCW, BABY

Smith: So with Zybala getting the bye that just leaves...oh no

Hood: Oh shit

Smith: lord be with the dadbod

~The Dadbod’s chamber enlarges. The walls around him begin to shake. Dust falls from above. He stumbles around, looking overhead. What the fuck is happening? The wall starts to open...but before it can open all the way, an unbelievable force BURSTS through the rock! It’s IGGY HARDY~

Smith: Iggy Hardy is facing the Dadbod!

Hood: RIP Dadbod

~Dadbod is frozen. Iggy Hardy stands around, muscles flexed to the MAX. Sweat oozing down his body. Cocaine residue plastered across his face. His eyes bulging...his chest heaving...he looks around until he spots Dadbod. He points at Dadbod and yells, ‘GET FUCKEDDDDDD!!!!’ He sprints forward and hurdles over the top rope with ease. Dadbod puts his arms up...as if that’s gonna do anything. Iggy Hardy snatches Dadbod and hoists him over his head in a press slam. He begins to press Dadbod over and over...the fans count. Iggy sees Who’Re and yells, ‘YOU LIKE THIS, BITCH? YEA!!’ He then tosses Dadbod high in the air!! Dadbod wiggles his arms and legs as he soars up before falling and crashing front first onto the mat!! Iggy ignores him, making his way toward Who’Re~

Smith: Dadbod is no match for Iggy Hardy.

Hood: Yea, well Iggy’s got eyes for Who’Re right now.

Smith: Iggy needs to stay focused.

~With Dadbod reeling and Iggy chasing some ass...we cut to another chamber. It’s Tamika and Dangerous Dan. The two tag team icons circle each other...each eyeing one another with a tremendous amount of respect. Dan extends a hand before they lock up. Tamika reaches out and fist bumps it. The fans outside cheer~

Smith: A show of respect between these two legendary tag team competitors.

Hood: Hey, I read somewhere that the Cowgirls From Hell defeated The Danger Boiz years back.

Smith: According to record that is true.

Hood: Sooo...shouldn’t THEY be in line for an OCW Tag Title shot?

Smith: You want to tell The Dravers and Lockwoods that?

Hood: Uh, no thanks.

Smith: If Tamika can defeat Dan inside that chamber then you’d have to imagine that would go a long way in cementing the Cowgirls From Hell as the Danger Boiz contenders at Luck of the Violent.

~Dan and Tamika lock up! Quickly, Dan suppresses Tamika with a side headlock. But, Tamika shoots Dan off just as quick. He hits the ropes...Tamika leap frogs Dan. Dan hits the ropes again...Tamika drops to the mat. Dan hops over Tamika and jumps onto the ropes...he springboards off with a moonsault..but Tamika rolls out of the way!! Dan lands on his feet...Tamika kips up! The two competitors stare each other down, fists raised. The fans outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS clap~

Smith: Fast paced exchange there with neither competitor gaining an advantage.

Hood: Fuckin idiots need to slow down. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

~With Dan and Tamika at a stalemate, we focus in on the chamber with Tamika’s sister, Meghan. Meghan and TLS eye one another with far less respect. Or, well, Meghan does...we can’t see the eyes behind that mask TLS wears. They approach one another. Meghan says some less than kind words to TLS...most likely concerning his actions toward her daughter. TLS looks down at Meghan...he pie faces her!! She stumbles back! The fans outside go ‘oooohhhh’~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: haha man...TLS is awesome.

Smith: If TLS was trying to piss Meghan off, well, he probably found the fastest route toward that destination.

~Strader’s jaw clenches. She shakes her head as if to say, ‘that son of a bitch.’ She fires back and unleashes a flurry of forearm shots to the masked face of the Stranger. TLS stumbles back into a corner. Meghan continues to hit him over and over and over! The fans outside go wild! She climbs onto the second buckle and raises a clinched fist, bringing it down into TLS’ head, knocking his hat off. She hits him again and again and again...the fans count...8, 9, 10, 11, 12...she pauses at thirteen. She hops to the mat, rears back and chops the shit out of TLS for that pivotal number!! TLS drops to his knee, holding his chest in pain. The fans outside let out a ‘CFH! CFH!’ chant~

Smith: They haven’t been here long but these fans are already taking a liking to the Cowgirls From Hell!

Hood: Well, when you fight with that much passion, it’s going to be contagious.

Smith: How would Veronica take to her mother defeating TLS before she gets her opportunity to do so?

Hood: She’d probably fuck Outcast.

Smith: HOOD

~Meghan thrusts her foot into TLS’s throat, pinning him back into the corner. With Meghan in control, we focus in on the chamber featuring BALD and El Knuckle. El Knuckle hops off the corner and into the ring. BALD stands at the center, hands on his hips. El Knuckle approaches. BALD looks up at El Knuckle’s head and sees...no hair. I mean, he’s got a mask on. But, still..NO HAIR UP THERE~

Smith: BALD doesn’t seem as angry.

Hood: Has he found a BALD brother?

Smith: Could this be the formation of a future tag team?

Hood: Beautiful Bald Warriors. BBW. Or, Beautiful Bald Competitors. BBC.

Smith: Not sure they should go with either of those, if we’re being honest.

~BALD extend a hand. El Knuckle, hands on his hips, looks around...but there’s no crowd to play to. So, he extends his hand and shakes BALD’s! BALD nods and tries to broker a deal~

Smith: Are they gonna try and team up? Advance to the next Tier together?

Hood: Is that even possible?

Smith: I don’t know...this is uncharted territory.

~BALD slaps El Knuckle on the back...after he does, he feels something. He spins El Knuckle around and sees HAIR sticking out from under his mask. BALD’s eyes bulge...he’s furious. He feels betrayed. He blasts El Knuckle in the back of the head with a forearm!! El Knuckle stumbles into the ropes~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: Nothing will enrage a BALD man more than a luscious, thick head of hair.

Smith: And we all know El Knuckle has plenty of hair.

Hood: Do we? He’s mysterious...he lives behind a mask, Smith.

Smith: Hood. Seriously.

~BALD yells ‘JUDAS’ as he grabs El Knuckle’s head and turns him around. His eyes wide, BALD rears back and leans forward with a headbutt...but El Knuckle ducks! He twirls away, toward the center of the ring, flinging his cape around. BALD staggers forward...he turns and stomps on the mat. He charges at El Knuckle...but El Knuckle holds his cape out and then spins around, pulling it away. BALD charges right through it, into the ropes. He grabs the middle rope and curses. He turns and charges at El Knuckle again...but, again, El Knuckle yanks his cape away, sending BALD stumbling into the ropes. The fans outside laugh and cheer~

Smith: BALD is getting matador treatment, Hood.

Hood: Okay, so El Knuckle has a matador background. Noted. I’m going to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Smith: Right. You do that.

~Furious, BALD turns around and chases El Knuckle around the ring, one step behind, grasping at his red cape. Realizing he can’t catch El Knuckle, BALD stops. El Knuckle stops...they are both in a corner, staring at one another across the ring. BALD smiles and charges forward as hard and as fast as he’s able. El Knuckle backs up, in the corner, he’s trapped...OR IS HE? He jumps onto the second rope and dives over the charging BALD! BALD slams his head into the middle buckle, diving at and missing El Knuckle!!! He’s down, face smushed into the middle buckle. El Knuckle tumbles harmlessly to the center of the ring where he gets to one knee and poses for the fans. The fans outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS go wild~

Smith: He is a showman, I’ll give him that.

Hood: Oh, okay...so he may have been in that movie The Greatest Showman.

Smith: Somehow you’re drifting further and further from your answer, Hood.

~With BALD down we zoom in on Zybala. He’s lounging in a corner, relaxing. A woman dressed like a super sexy Egyptian enters and carries a tray of grapes. She begins to feed Zybala...we zoom in on Mike, he looks into the camera and says “It’s good to be the king” winking at the camera. We cut away...back to the chamber with Iggy Hardy and Dadbod~

Smith: Zybala getting all the treatment.

Hood: If he starts to get a massage, I’m out.

Smith: Hopefully things won’t last that long.

Hood: Doesn’t have to last THAT long for Zybala to reach the end of a massage. Just sayin.

Smith: Anyway, we’re back on Iggy and Dadbod and, well, it seems as though Iggy has higher ideals than pinning the Dadbod.

~Iggy Hardy stalks Who’Re into a corner. She’s trying to act tough but, let’s be honest, this roided up, coked up, maniacal dude is too much for any singular person to handle. He looks down at her and yells, ‘LET ME SEE THEM TITTIES!!!’ So, Who’Re does what any woman in this type of danger would or should do...she kicks him right in the dick!! Iggy doubles over...the crowd outside lets out an ‘ooooohhhh’ because, yea, that’s gotta hurt. Before Who’Re can do any further damage...THE DADBOD sneaks up and rolls Iggy Hardy over with a pin!! Who’Re dives to the mat with the count~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: Dadbod nearly advanced to the second tier of THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS!

Hood: Dadbod pinning Iggy Hardy would be like Ukraine defeating Russia in a war.

Smith: Hood, we’re not allowed to talk about such things. This is an escape.

Hood: Suck my dick.

Smith: ah!

~Iggy Hardy’s massive thighs kick out, sending Dadbod flying across the ring and into a corner where he hits and falls to the mat, seated up against the buckles. Iggy remains down, rolling around, holding his groin. Who’Re heads over to check on the Dadbod...he’s woozy. She leans forward, getting real close...his eyes open and stare directly into her massive cleavage. The fans outside go wild~

Smith: Oh boy

Hood: Yea, Dadbod won’t be sleeping on the couch. He’ll be sleeping OUTSIDE

Smith: Seems that way.

~With Dadbod swooning, we shift over to the chamber featuring Dangerous Dan and Tamika Strader. Circling one another, the two tag legends dive in at the same time, locking up. Dangerous Dan uses his size advantage to leverage Tamika into a corner. Tamika, through, kicks her legs out and walks up to the second rope, knowing that allowing Dan to bully her all the way into the corner would be NO BUENO. She kicks off the top buckle and flips over Dan. Their lock up breaks...she lands on her feet and hits the ropes...Dan spins around and eats a spinning heel kick from Tamika!!! Dan falls back, hard. Tamika is back on her feet...she runs into the ropes...Dan struggles to one knee...Tamika flies off the ropes and smacks Dan in the side of the head with a Shining Wizard!! Dan falls back onto the mat...this time, he remains down~

Smith: Tamika’s got Dan down!

Hood: Yea, and from what I’ve heard...the Straders dominating the Danger Boiz isn’t exactly something new.

Smith: That was somewhere else, Hood. This is OCW.

Hood: Yea, and Dan’s down.

~With Dan down, we zoom in on Meghan and TLS. Meghan’s keeping things more grounded than her sister. She’s got TLS in a chinlock, center of the ring. She’s working his neck over. Gruff asks TLS if he wants to quit...but anybody who quits to a chinlock is tarred, feathered, and fired from OCW instantly. And TLS does not want that. So, he fights his way to his feet with Meghan holding on...with TLS standing, Meghan maneuvers her hold to a side headlock. TLS, though, hoists her up and drops her back on her head! Meghan rolls around, holding her head in pain. TLS sits up, shaking off the impact of Meghan’s early offense~

Smith: TLS has taken control. Meghan’s back has to be a concern...it’s one thing to mask lingering injury issues in a tag match. But in singles competition, there’s nobody to tag in if you start to hurt.

Hood: Yea and she’s not in there with fuckin Gilbert. That’s TLS. That is a bad, bad man.

Smith: Indeed he is. And I doubt he’ll show any mercy.

~TLS, on cue, gets to his feet and yanks Meghan up. He whips her into the ropes...she bounces off and he picks her up, looking for a backbreaker...but Meghan, scouting TLS out, realizing this might happen, slips through his grasp and stands behind him. She reaches for his head, looking to drop him with a neckbreaker...but TLS spins them both around and knees her in the gut. He grabs her head for a DDT...but Meghan drops to one knee and deliver a low blow!!! The fans outside go wild. TLS doubles over...Meghan pops to her feet and she spikes TLS’ head into the mat with a DDT of her own!!! He flips over, onto his back. She makes the cover~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Smith: TLS survives, but barely.

Hood: Damn, testicles are an endangered species inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Smith: Cup up, fellas.

~TLS, pained as he is from the low blow, hurries to his feet. Meghan stymies him, meeting him at their knees and promptly applying a front face lock. We cut away and focus back in on El Knuckle and BALD! El Knuckle is posing in the center of the ring while BALD recovers in his corner like a dude with a really bad hangover. He pulls himself up and looks over his shoulder. El Knuckle is stomping his feet and flinging his cape around. This drives BALD into a fit of rage~

Smith: I don’t think BALD likes El Knuckle’s showmanship.

Hood: Leave it up to a guy with hair to show off. So arrogant.

~BALD charges at El Knuckle...looks like he hasn’t learned his lesson...El Knuckle spins around and takes BALD down with a drop toe hold!! He swiftly transitions into an ankle lock!! BALD yells out as El Knuckle ‘flips a switch’ and attempts to destroy and snap BALD’s ankle~

Smith: Whoa. That was impressive.

Hood: El Knuckle ain’t fucking around, Smith. Looks like he’s about ready to put BALD away.

~BALD refuses to tap. Gotta give the smooth scaled man credit...he’s got some grit. El Knuckle flips him over, he holds onto the leg that’s been twisted and he falls back, snapping to the mat with a DDT to BALD’s right heel!!! BALD writhes around in pain. El Knuckle quickly makes the pin, hooking both legs...Puff’s fat bod flops to the mat and he makes the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, B.A.L.D. HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. EL KNUCKLE WILL ADVANCE TO TIER 2.

Smith: BALD is out! El Knuckle moves on and, in doing so, he earns a Craze Title shot.

Hood: Okay so that’s El Knuckle and Zybala in Tier 2, so far.

Smith: Yep.

~A portion of the wall opens. El Knuckle sits up, watching. Men wearing owl masks enter. They grab B.A.L.D. and drag him out of the ring and into the new opening. El Knuckle watches as the wall closes back, leaving him alone in the ring with Puff~

Smith: And now, like Zybala, El Knuckle waits.

~Speaking of, we cut to Zybala. He’s sipping on a coconut water and walking on the outskirts of his ring. He leans into the rock wall, finding a small opening. He puts his ear to it and listens. He hears thuds and crashes...the sounds of combat. Our view goes from his face, sliding through the thick wall to the chamber next door. Tamika whips Dangerous Dan into a corner...he hits hard. Tamika charges in with a splash!! She hops onto the second buckle and tries to punch Dan in the head...but Dan grabs her...he walks forward and goes for an inverted Atomic Drop...but Tamika lands on her feet, avoiding the impact. She throws a flying knee...but Dan catches it and hoists Tamika on his shoulders...he gets her into position for a Death Valley Driver. The fans outside gasp~

Smith: No! Not her neck! She’s got a bad neck!

Hood: Do these Straders have a death wish? Seriously. One’s got a bad back. The other’s got a bad neck. I’m waiting for the one with a gaping wound in their head to enter the ring and be like ‘I’M GOOD TO GO’

Smith: I’d like to think they wouldn’t pass their OCW physical but…

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~Dan tosses Tamika over...but Tamika lands on her feet. She hits the ropes...she bounces off and leaps at Dan with her legs, looking for a hurricanrana...Dan catches her and spins around, lifting her up and slamming Tamika into the mat with a powerbomb!!! Tamika hits hard! Dan drops to one knee, catching his breath. The fans outside give a mixed reaction...half rooting for Tamika, the other half rooting for Dan~

Smith: Finally, Dan is able to land a move.

Hood: Now, drop her on her head, Dan. BREAK HER NECK

Smith: Calm down, Hood.

~With Tamika down, we return to the Dadbod and Iggy Hardy. Dadbod snaps out of his hypnotic gaze into Who’Re’s cleavage and rises. He pushes her aside and marches toward Iggy. Who’Re stands back, clutching her chest as if to say, “Oh my, what a man.” Dadbod has never looked so confident. He walks right up to Iggy...he stands over Iggy. As he does, Iggy pops to his feet and stares down at Dadbod...Iggy lets out a primal ROAR! Saliva, cocaine residue, and some other questionable liquids slap Dadbod in the face. He stumbles back, his confidence blown away~

Smith: Uh oh.

Hood: Dadbod should’ve remained in the safe zone. The titty zone.

~Hardy slaps Dadbod across the face yelling, ‘PUSSY!!!’ He hoists Dadbod up...at the apex of the move, Dadbod grabs onto Iggy’s head with his arm and he begins to noogie Iggy’s head!! He rakes his knuckles across the top of Iggys’ head! Iggy is like ‘WHAT THE FUCK!!’ He loses his base...Dadbod wiggles his legs and is able to bring Iggy down, face first into the mat with a bulldog!!! He holds onto the hold and rakes his knuckles across Iggy’s scalp. Iggy flails around...his hands slapping the mat. Who’Re, a super inexperienced ref, takes this as a submission...she calls for the bell. It rings~

Belvedere: IGGY HARDY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. DADBOD WILL ADVANCE TO TIER 2.

~The fans go wild! Dadbod struggles to his feet. Who’Re raises his hand...he can’t believe it~

Smith: Dadbod won! Dadbod won!

Hood: Geezus. What a joke!

~Iggy pops to his feet. ‘BITCCCCHHHHH!!!’ he yells at Who’Re. She gets in between Iggy and the Dadbod. Iggy is furious...claiming he didn’t tap out and, to be fair, he probably didn’t. Doubt he could feel a spear going through his neck right now, let alone a noogie from the Dadbod. Who’Re is in trouble. Until...The Knifeman and crew rush in through an opening and begin to stab Iggy Hardy with horse tranquilizers~

Smith: And OCW’s medical crew, led by our prestigious Knife Man are inside that chamber, subduing Iggy.

Hood: Damn, look at Knife Man go. He can really stab.

~Iggy collapses, the sedatives doing their job. He’s then dragged out of the chamber by Knife Man and the rest of the OCW medical team. That leaves just Who’Re and Dadbod. They take a seat on the mat together and begin to talk~

Smith: Oh man.

Hood: Okay, yea, Dadbod might be staying in a hotel.

~Who’Re hears Dadbod complain about life. She puts a hand on his shoulder~

Hood: Did I say hotel? Make that a MOTEL

~We focus in on one of the two remaining matches. Meghan has TLS in that front face lock. TLS bullies her back. But, before she can reach a corner or the ropes, she kicks her legs up and wraps them around TLS’ body, applying a guillotine! TLS is in trouble! He drops to his knees, trying desperate to get free~

Smith: Meghan’s trying to choke TLS out!

Hood: Kinky

Smith: Oh please.

~TLS kicks over and flips over on top of Meghan!! He’s got her pinned! Gruff grumbles and drops to the mat for a pin~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: Wow, TLS nearly turned near defeat into victory.

Hood: He’s crafty...always has been.

~Meghan, in kicking out, had to use her back to lift her body off the mat, carrying the weight of TLS before tossing him to the side. She falls back to the mat, wincing, reaching for her back~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: Great. TLS has injured one of our financiers. Now she’s going to be spending all that money that SHOULD go to a tenured, loyal employee on silly shit like medical bills.

Smith: It’s her money, Hood. She can do with it what she wants.

Hood: Malarkey!!

~TLS returns to his feet. He sees Meghan crawling away, reaching for her back. Like a predator, he locks in on his wounded prey. He marches forward and kicks Meghan in the back, flattening her out on the mat. The fans outside boo. TLS drops an elbow across her back before snaring her by the chin, locking both arms underneath her chin and pulling back with a modified crossface...her back is wrenched to an uncomfortable degree~

Smith: Meghan won’t quit. There’s no quit in a Cowgirl.

Hood: That’s not what I heard.

Smith: I’m not interested in what you’ve heard.

~Meghan reaches over with her right hand and she rakes it across the mask of TLS. It doesn’t do max damage, but it does enough to bother him. He releases the hold. She rolls away, under the bottom rope and outside the ring, remaining on the extended mat...staying short of the rock surface. TLS gets to one knee and shakes off the pain. He gets to his feet. Meghan pulls herself up...she jumps up and springboards off the top rope...she wraps her legs around TLS’ head and takes him down with a hurricanrana!!! She holds on for the pin!! Gruff hobbles over, making the count~

1!

2!

3...NO!

Smith: TLS kicks out!

Hood: Not sure how TLS would handle losing to a woman with a bad back.

Smith: A warrior with a bad back, Hood. A COWGIRL

Hood: Right. EXCUSE me.

~TLS hurries to his feet...as he reaches his feet he turns around and gets kicked in the gut by Meghan!! TLS doubles over. Meghan hooks his arms, looking for a Pedigree~

Smith: My Friend of Misery! She’s trying to drop TLS with one of her finishers!

Hood: She stole that finisher from Veronica!

Smith: I highly doubt that.

~TLS charges forward, using the strength in his legs...Meghan can’t stop him. He rushes her into the corner, smashing her back into the buckles!! She freezes, wincing in pain...her back seizing up. TLS stands upright and slugs Meghan across the face. The fans outside BOO. TLS drags her out of the corner. He grabs her by the head...but Meghan sits out and smacks TLS with a jawbreaker!! TLS is stunned. She holds her back, struggling back to her feet. She grabs TLS by the head and spins him around, hooking him for Blackened (Sister Abigail)!!!!~

Smith: Meghan’s trying to finish TLS off.

Hood: PHRASING

Smith: You know what I mean!

~TLS throws a punch into her back. She freezes, once again. TLS stands upright and holds Meghan parallel to the ring...he drops her back across his knee!!! A devastating backbreaker!! She yells out in pain...the fans outside all wince. She struggles to her feet...her legs giving out here and there. She reaches her feet and reaches for TLS...but he grabs onto Meghan and rolls her over with a Small Package!!! Gruff drops down with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: MEGHAN STRADER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! THE LOST STRANGER WILL MOVE ON TO TIER 2 WITHIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS!!

Smith: NO!

Hood: Hey, you walk into a match with an injury, expect that injury to get targeted.

Smith: I wonder how Veronica is going to take this.

Hood: Like a champ. It’s fucking Victoria who might get all up in her feels over it.

~The Knife Man enters the ring, checking on Meghan. He’s concerned about her back. Meghan pushes him away, using the ropes to get to her feet. The GREAT ILLUMINATUS servants in their creepy owl masks approach. She sighs, looking at them. She looks at TLS...wincing, she steps through the ropes and exits the chamber. TLS remains in the ring, emotionless. Gruff takes a seat, getting a nice break in before the next Tier~

Smith: Meghan looking back at TLS...I’m not sure I’d call it respect. But it wasn’t anger, either. I think she’s acknowledging he’s better than she gave him credit for.

Hood: Happens a lot. People sleep on TLS but the dude can fuckin go.

Smith: Indeed. And, now, he’s moving on to the second tier.

Hood: So, that just leaves…

Smith: Tamika and Dan.

~And we focus on our final chamber. Dan and Tamika continue to battle. Dan has Tamika slouched in a corner. He measures her up for The ENDD is Near (superkick). He throws it...but Tamika ducks!! Dan’s leg kicks the top buckle, jamming his knee!! He reaches for it, limping. He turns around and Tamika takes him over with a Dragon Screw leg whip!! Dan holds onto his knee, groaning in pain. Tamika pops back to her feet but she pauses...she looks around. She can’t explain it...but she feels loss. A sudden loss~

Smith: I think Tamika can sense that Meghan didn’t make it.

Hood: Geezus, those sisters are closer than the fuckin Dravers.

Smith: I wouldn’t go that far.

~Tamika screams. She’s furious. She turns toward Dan...she drops down and starts punching and tearing at his knee. Dan is like ‘wtf?!’ He tries kicking her off, but he can’t...she frenzied. His knee absorbs a ton of damage...he reaches for the ropes and looks at Scruff. Scruff is like “not tonight, Dan.” The ropes won’t save him~

Smith: Tamika has lost it. She wants to make someone pay and, well, the only person available to pay that toll is Dan.

Hood: Yea and Dan, like every man dealing with a psychotic woman is like, ‘what the hell? Calm down, woman.’

Smith: Which only makes them angrier.

Hood: Right?

~Dan pulls himself under the bottom rope and out of the ring. Tamika’s assault is blocked by the ropes. Dan pulls his legs to safety and butt slides away from the ring, holding his knee. Tamika doesn’t let the ropes daunt her from continuing. She crawls through them. Dan slides up against the rock wall. Tamika crawls closer to Dan...a look of manic determination in her eyes. Dan reaches out and rakes his hand across her face, stunning the younger Strader. He gets to his feet, hopping on one leg. He pulls Tamika up and hooks her for a piledriver onto the ROCK SURFACE~

Smith: No! This would certainly end her career!

Hood: C’mon, Dan! Do it! And meet PLETHORA later on in the match.

Smith: There really is no winning scenario here, is there?

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~Dan hesitates...he realizes the damage he’s about to do and pauses. Tamika uses his sympathy to her advantage, she rises up, grabs his leg and drops an elbow across it onto the rock surface!! Dan yells out, holding his knee in pain. Tamika picks Dan up and slings him through the ropes, back into the ring. She crawls it and looks at her elbow...it’s scraped and bleeding from the impact, but she rubs the pain away. Dan is curled up, holding his knee~

Smith: Dang it! Dan showed sympathy and he paid for it.

Hood: Now we’re talking! If that’s what a Cowgirl is made of, sign me up!

~Tamika heads to the nearest corner. Dan’s down. She slowly climbs to the top. As she does, Dan gets to his feet. Tamika displays a look of concern...she figured he’d remain down. Dan fights through the pain and charges toward the corner, running up to the top rope...he greets Tamika up there! Tamika kicks his bad knee!! Dan loses his balance and Tamika shoves him down!! He lands on the mat HARD! The fans outside cringe. Tamika leaps off the top rope and comes crashing down on Dan with Jacques-Hammer (Much like a Senton bomb, but Tamika comes down on her feet instead of her shoulders and head, onto the stomach of her opponent.)!!!!! She hooks the leg, Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: DANGEROUS DAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!! TAMIKA STRADER WILL ADVANCE INSIDE THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS TO THE SECOND TIER.

Smith: Dan has been defeated! Tamika, one half of the Cowgirls From Hell just pinned one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions!

Hood: We might have our #1 contenders, Smith.

Smith: We just might.

~The Knife Man checks on Dan’s knee. He reaches his feet, limping quite severely. Tamika eyes Dan. Dan looks back at her...it’s clear Dan doesn’t respect the way Tamika won the match. Tamika doesn’t really give a shit what Dan thinks. Their eyes remain locked for awhile~

Smith: There’s some tension in there, Hood.

Hood: Sexual tension?

Smith: NO! These two are clearly far from cool with each other. Dan’s going to want revenge.

Hood: Yea, and next time he’s gonna drop that woman on her head...if he gets the chance.

~The people in the creepy owl masks surround Dan, preventing anything further from happening. Knife Man helps him out, leaving Tamika alone in the chamber. We get a shot of all five chambers. Doors open and OCW officials step out, holding a clipboard with a piece of paper~

Belvedere: AND NOW, EACH WRESTLER WILL BE GIVEN THE OPTION TO OPT OUT. IF THEY OPT OUT THEY WILL LEAVE WITH A CRAZE TITLE SHOT.

~Zybala laughs walks past the document. He’s pointed toward the opening in the wall. Zybala enters and the door closes. TLS does pretty much the same, blowing past the opt out documentation and heading out of the chamber. El Knuckle looks the document over...he then spins his cape around and dashes away, hopping into the doorway, heading to the next tier~

Smith: El Knuckle, TLS, and Mike Zybala have all opted to stay IN THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS

Hood: That just leaves Dadbod and Tamika.

~Who’Re helps Dadbod up. She’s rubbing his shoulders as he reads over the documentation~

Smith: A Craze Title is pretty lucrative for a guy like Dadbod.

Hood: It’d guarantee him a one on one championship match. Something he could only dream about last week.

~Dadbod seems to be considering opting out. He then hears someone say “You’re on fire, Dadbod.” His eyes narrow as he remembers those douche bags and their ice and water routine. He imagines them smirking and saying “ha, figures” if he were to opt out. So, Dadbod says “NOPE” and slaps the documentation away, heading on to Tier 2. The fans go wild~

Smith: Dadbod is staying IN!

Hood: Damn, what’s this I’m feeling...is it...is it PRIDE in the Dadbod?

Smith: I think so!

~Dadbod exits his Chamber. We cut to Tamika. She laughs at the idea...she rubs her neck. She looks at the rock surrounding her. The danger is only going to increase going forward~

Smith: Tamika is giving this serious consideration.

Hood: You really think she’ll opt out?

Smith: She did sign up to team with Meghan. I think this was more for promotional support than anything else.

~Tamika grabs the pen and she signs! She opts out of the Great Illuminatus. The fans gasp and groan with shock and disappointment~

Smith: She’s opting out!

Hood: Holy shit.

Belvedere: TAMIKA STRADER HAS DECIDED TO OPT-OUT OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. SHE WILL RECEIVE A CRAZE TITLE SHOT.

~The competitor within Tamika is pissed. But, the pragmatic soul knows it’s the best move. She sees the Owl people waiting for her. She heads their way, exiting THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS~

Smith: And just like that...we go from 9 to 5 to….4.

Hood: So, what happens?

Smith: Well, with Tamika’s exit...we’re going to get only one match in Tier 2 which means...two wrestlers will receive a bye into Tier 3!

Hood: WEAK ASS BOOKING

~Our camera shifts to Tier 2. Three chambers. All built exactly like the five chambers beneath them. Scruff, Gruff, and Puff are inside the rings...they must have had accelerated lifts or elevators or reverse fireman poles. A door opens in the first chamber and out steps The Lost Stranger~

Smith: And there’s TLS...ready for Tier 2.

Hood: Okay so two get a bye and two have to compete, right?

Smith: Correct.

Hood: Amundo.

Smith: Excuse me?

Hood: Correctamundo. That’s how I say it.

Smith: That’s how you say it?

Hood: Correctamundo.

Smith: Let’s move on.

~We get to the middle chamber. Puff and his corpulent, bloated self stands, breathless. Not because of how amazing this match is...but because he needs to go on a serious diet. The door opens and in steps...DADBOD!! The fans go wild~

Smith: And the precious Dadbod! He’s made it to Tier 2!

Hood: This is like Gilbert making it to the second round of any bachelorette season. It’s amazing.

~We pan over to the third chamber. A door slides open and MIKE ZYBALA superkicks his way through!!! The fans go wild!! Zybala looks around, very excited~

Smith: And there he is! The fan favorite! Mike Zybala!

Hood: He’s a bigger fan favorite than Dadbod?

Smith: Well, I’ll put it this way. He’s not more likable but the most likable face the fans think has a chance to go all the way. If that makes sense.

Hood: WOW. Way to shit all over Dadbod.

~Zybala looks at Gruff, the ref in his chamber. He begins to talk to him when Who’Re steps out from another compartment. She pushes Zybala aside and speaks with Gruff. Gruff’s voice yells, “NIGHT OFF? HELL YEA” He takes some money Who’Re hands him and he leaves. Who’Re stands in the ring, resuming her ref duties~

Smith: Who’Re just paid Gruff off. She’s going to ref the match inside that chamber...if there is one.

Hood: What the fuck is this whore up to.

Smith: Well, we all know she was nervous about Zybala entering the GREAT ILLUMINATUS when she saw that owl atop the pyramid.

Hood: True.

~Zybala says, “Hey, Who’Re!” Who’Re grabs him, “Mike! You’ve got to listen to me…” We cut to the three chambers. TLS stands in one. Dadbod stands in one. Zybala leans back in one with Who’Re speaking to him like an insane woman~

Smith: Which chamber will hold the match? Who won’t be getting a bye into Tier 2.

Hood: If you ask me, it’s Zybala. Looks like he’s already in a match. Who’Re is crazy.

Smith: Yea, not sure what’s going on over there.

~All three doors open. TLS stands in the center of the ring, ready. Dadbod gets his fists up...it doesn’t look very intimidating, but he’s trying. And, in the third chamber...Who’Re turns around, looking over her shoulder with Zybala behind her...she’s almost protecting him. The three open chambers merge into one and out steps El Knuckle!! He heads forward...we pan around to his perspective to see...DADBOD~

Smith: Dadbod is going to face El Knuckle!

Hood: Oh boy...as if this isn’t tough enough for the Dadbod. But El Knuckle is the master of mystery. Dadbod has got to be so confused.

Smith: Whatever.

~El Knuckle flips over the top rope and nearly sticks the landing...he kinda falls on his ass. But he pops back up immediately. Dadbod claps, impressed with his skills. “Nice Lunhca Leche!” El Knuckle nods, thanking Dadbod~

Smith: It’s Lucha Libre not...Luncha Leche. I think Leche is milk!

Hood: Wait, but El Knuckle wasn’t offended...is El Knuckle NOT a real luchador.

Smith: -fake shock face-

Hood: The plot thickens.

~After a show of respect, the two competitors lock up! El Knuckle quickly takes Dadbod to the ground with a sideheadlock! Dadbod appears out of his element. El Knuckle yanks and cranks on Dadbod’s STACK OF DIMES neck. Dadbod yells out, wincing in pain. Puff looks down, watching...he shakes his head as if to say, “This man does not belong in a wrestling ring.”~

Smith: Puff seems to think Dadbod should not be in that ring.

Hood: Or, is he referring to El Knuckle. He didn’t SAY Dadbod, did he?

Smith: No, he didn’t. But I think it’s pretty obvious.

Hood: I’m just saying. Maybe Puff is super racist.

Smith: I don’t know enough about Puff to speculate regarding his stance on social issues.

Hood: Then again, he looks like he knows how to handle a plate of mexican food.

~With Dadbod getting his lunch money taken from him. We cut back to Zybala and Who’Re. Who’Re is relieved nobody stepped through that door. Zybala is trying to calm her down. “Mike, you have to listen...Poblano is out to get you. If you win the Pyramid Scheme Match then his entire future will be destroyed.” Mike laughs. Who’Re pulls out a lighter and motions for him to follow her to one of the walls~

Smith: Who’Re is looking out for Mike, it appears.

Hood: She’s just trying to get a complimentary weekend at the luxurious resort on Exile Island.

~Who’Re brings the lighter to the wall to reveal hieroglyphs etched into the rock. Mike leans in, interested. They show a man throwing a superkick...Mike nods, “Cool. Looks like me.” Who’Re drags the lighter along to reveal that the man’s leg is chopped off and eaten by owls. Mike’s eyes widen, “Wow, that doesn’t look great.” She continues to show the person who threw the superkick being stabbed...his eyes gouged and his entire body burned alive. The flame in her lighter goes out. Zybala turns, looking at Who’Re...he swallows, hard~

Smith: Wow, those hieroglyphics weren’t the greatest, if you’re Mike.

Hood: That’s all up to interpretation.

~We cut back to a replay of the hieroglyphics where the owls eating the man’s leg laughed “ZYBALA TASTES GREAT.”~

Smith: Say that again?

Hood: Yea, well, that’s pretty on the nose.

~Who’Re explains to the nervous, curious Zybala, “Poblano built this Pyramid as a temple to Ragana. And, when he found out you’d be competing, he designed it as a dungeon...for you. You cannot win. You must not win. If you do, it’ll cripple his entire empire...his source of power. It’ll end Ragana’s spirit.” Zybala responds, “What do I do?” Who’Re answers, “You leave. Leave and take what you’ve won. Do it now before it’s too late.”~

Smith: She’s trying to get Zybala to exit the GREAT ILLUMINATUS

Hood: I mean, he’s not gonna win anyway...so he may as well.

Smith: We don’t know that! Mike Zybala is destined to be OCW Champion. YEA I SAID IT

Hood: Geezus, calm down.

~We cut back to Dadbod and El Knuckle as Zybala weighs his options. El Knuckle is smothering Dadbod into the canvas with this sideheadlock. Puff looks on, in disbelief. Is he really gonna have to call a match due to a SIDE HEADLOCK. Dadbod’s movements slow. They come to a halt...his limbs go limp. The fans outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS gasp. Puff drops to one knee shaking his head...he picks up Dadbod’s arm and lets it drop. It hits the mat~

Smith: Oh dear.

Hood: This fuckin guy is gonna get KO’d by a SIDE HEADLOCK. This is why Zybala’s Outsider is a shitty idea.

Smith: Well, it isn’t over yet, Hood.

~Puff lifts Dadbod’s hand a second time and it hits the mat a second time. Everybody in Dadbod’s cul-de-sac begins to lose what little faith they had to begin with. Puff grabs Dadbod’s arm and lifts it up...he drops it...it falls and STAYS UP!!! Inches from the mat, Dadbod’s strength returns!!! The fans outside The Great Illuminatus go wild!!! Dadbod begins to shake, powering up. El Knuckle tries to keep him down but Dadbod channels the fury of fifteen irate little league parents...which is pretty fuckin stout. He forces his way up, bringing El Knuckle along. He drills El Knuckle in the gut once, twice, and a third time!!! El Knuckle loses his grip...Dadbod grabs El Knuckle’s arm and whips him into the ropes...El Knuckle bounces off and Dadbod lifts a leg, taking El Knuckle down with a BIG BOOT!! The fans go wild!!! Dadbod hits the ropes...he bounces off, he leaps high into the air and comes down with a huge LEG DROP!!! The fans jump up and down outside!!! Puff slides in with the count~

1!

~El Knuckle kicks out almost immediately, tossing Dadbod a few feet into the air and outside the ring, through the ropes. The fans enthusiasm dies out real fuckin quick~

Smith: Darn.

Hood: Haha. Well, he tried.

Smith: I mean, he did manage to avoid being submitted by a Side Headlock.

Hood: And that’s something, isn’t it?

Smith: It is, indeed, something.

~Our camera pans upward...above the action. We get a shot of Bob Grenier...he hears the rumbling beneath him. He stands and starts to pound a fist into his palm, rotating his neck, getting ready. The thunder down under indicates the action is nearing his tier. We cut to Alice...she, too, hears the commotion beneath her...she starts to flap her ‘wings’ and bounce around, getting limbered up. The fans let out a loud HOOT when they see her on screen. We pan over to PLETHORA. He sits in the ring with his MIGHTY SCYTHE as the action rages beneath him~

Smith: Three legends.

Hood: Whoa! Two legends.

Smith: Don’t give me the ‘you don’t know who Plethora is’ bit, please.

Hood: Oh no, that dude is totally a legend. I’m speaking about Alice Knight...legend my ass!

~Dadbod returns to his feet. He tries to hop onto the top rope for a springboard but he can’t jump that high. So he climbs up there, awkwardly. El Knuckle is back on his feet...Dadbod springboards...but he fails miserably...yet, it somehow works...he tumbles forward into El Knuckle, his head hitting El Knuckle in the knee!! El Knuckle stumbles back, wincing…he yells ‘FUCK’. Dadbod stands up, holding his head...he sees a wounded El Knuckle and looks around...NOW IS THE TIME FOR DADBOD~

Smith: El Knuckle was prepared to catch Dadbod. What he wasn’t prepared for was Dadbod failing so miserably that he’d come nowhere near his arms.

Hood: Dadbod might just luck his way into Tier 3.

Smith: He may.

~Dadbod grabs El Knuckle from behind and locks him in a Full Nelson! The scene is very much like a dude grabbing onto a bull or something and being like “Okay, I got him...now what? NOW WHAT?!” El Knuckle bows up and backs into a corner, crushing Dadbod! Dadbod releases his hold. El Knuckle stumbles forward. Dadbod runs up and locks El Knuckle around the waist~

Smith: Dadbod trying something different.

Hood: Don’t tell me he’s going to German Suplex the mysterious El Knuckle.

Smith: I think he’s going to try, Hood.

~Dadbod does his best German Suplex...he throws El Knuckle down to the side more than backward...it’s almost like a roll. But, it’s kind of effective. Dadbod retains the lock and gets El Knuckle back up...he does the same German throw to the mat move as before...he leans against El Knuckle, his face flushed, his breath labored...but he’s going to try a third one~

Smith: Look at Dadbod go!

Hood: Quick, somebody get in there and check his blood pressure.

~Dadbod struggles but he gets up, bringing El Knuckle with him. He slings his entire body to the side, taking El Knuckle back down with by far the weakest German Suplex in history. Both men are down...Dadbod lets go and stares up at the dark ceiling. He's drenched...he’s gasping for air. El Knuckle, meanwhile, reaches for his shoulder before pulling himself up...only slightly afflicted by the three ‘german suplexes’~

Smith: Dadbod laid it all out there...but at what cost?

Hood: A few hundred calories, probably.

Smith: Addition by subtraction.

Hood: Dadbod keeps wrestling he might just earn a new nickname. Something like ‘Bod’.

~El Knuckle doesn’t appear to be down with playing anymore games. This is getting too serious. He grabs Dadbod by his curly hair and pulls him to his feet. He chops Dadbod across the chest. Dadbod falls back into the ropes, holding his chest...he sits on the middle rope leaning forward, exhausted. El Knuckle snatches Dadbod off the ropes and whips him into a corner...Dadbod collapses, tumbling to the ground. He crawls into the corner and rests against the bottom buckle~

Smith: Dadbod can’t even run. He’s too tired.

Hood: How the fuck does he expect to survive, like, five more tiers.

Smith: I don’t think the Dadbod thought that far ahead.

Hood: Well, it ain’t looking good. Dadbod is like his burgers...he’s WELL DONE.

~El Knuckle sees opportunity. He charges in and flips over with a cannonball. But Dadbod moves!!! El Knuckle hits hard!!! He collapses to the mat!! Dadbod pulls himself up and looks around...there aren’t any fans to play to...but outside, they are going wild. “DADBOD! DADBOD!”~

Smith: Dadbod’s got a window of opportunity!

Hood: Whoever this mysterious El Knuckle is...well, he’s gonna be pissed if Dadbod beats him.

Smith: So you admit El Knuckle is male.

Hood: Well his chest is exposed so, let’s just say, I HOPE it isn’t a female.

~Dadbod grabs El Knuckle and hooks his head under his arm. He goes for a noogie...but...it won’t work. It can’t work. El Knuckle has a mask on, protecting his head (ironically) from Dadbod’s KNUCKLES. Dadbod is stuck. What does he do? El Knuckle pulls away. Dadbod, out of instinct...instinct from watching wrestling on TV...Dadbod jumps up with a dropkick!!! But, he misses completely...he falls to the mat holding his right leg~

Smith: Uh oh.

Hood: Dadbod’s in pain.

Smith: I think he’s got a cramp.

~El Knuckle grabs Dadbod’s cramping right leg. He hooks it and drops back with the right heel DDT!!! Dadbod’s body shoots full of pain...he seizes up. El Knuckle makes the cover. Puff drops down with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: DADBOD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!! EL KNUCKLE WILL ADVANCE INSIDE THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS TO TIER 3.

Smith: Valiant effort by the Dadbod.

Hood: He went further than I expected. I didn’t even think he’d make it to the show.

Smith: He was so close to reaching that third tier. More training...more focus and I think Dadbod might turn into something, Hood.

Hood: Terrific.

~Dadbod is down, holding his right leg. The Knife Man enters, handing Dadbod a sugar free Gatorade. He takes a sip and makes a sour face...he apparently is accustomed to the Gatorade that’s loaded with sugar. But, he drinks it at the urging of Knife Man...replenish his body that’s sorely lacking in electrolytes. The owl people step forward. Knife Man gets Dadbod’s attention...he helps Dadbod up and escorts him toward the owl people...into an opened passageway and out of the chamber~

Smith: Tremendous effort, Dadbod. Hopefully Trina will let you sleep inside.

Hood: Well she did carpool over here so maybe she missed the first Tier and all that Who’Re stuff.

Smith: Okay so we’ve got TLS, El Knuckle, and Mike Zybala all advancing to Tier 3.

Hood: What do they win?

Smith: By surviving Tier 2 these three wrestlers have all earned TransAtlantic Title shots.

Hood: So, basically TLS has earned what he already earned.

Smith: Yea, pretty much.

~Doors open. OCW officials enter with waivers for opting out~

Belvedere: ALL THREE COMPETITORS WILL NOW HAVE THE OPTION TO OPT OUT, RETAINING THEIR CRAZE AND TRANSATLANTIC TITLE SHOTS.

~TLS, already owning both of those items, blows right past the rep and steps into the chamber leading to the Third Tier. El Knuckle mulls it over...but he’s feeling pretty lucky. So, he, too ignores the opt out and heads upward, ready for Tier 3. Mike Zybala is the last one...he looks over the documentation~

Smith: Who’Re is trying to convince Mike to opt out.

Hood: How does he know she isn’t in on it? She knows an awful lot about Poblano and Ragana.

Smith: I mean, that’s not totally out of the question.

~Who’Re, “Mike, it’s too dangerous. Take the prizes and run.” Zybala shakes his head, “I can’t do that.” Who’Re replies, “Please!” Zybala pats her on the back, “Winning the OCW Title is my destiny. I’ve seen it. Plus, you said it yourself...if I win this match then I put an end to Poblano and Ragana, right?” Who’Re nods. It’s true...she just doesn’t believe he can do it. “Well then, let’s end it...tonight.” Who’Re smiles, “Alright. But I’m coming with you.” Zybala likes the sound of that...he superkicks the documents out of the reps hand and hurries into the opening in the wall with Who’Re at his side...together they travel upward to the third tier. The fans outside are going wild, chanting “MIKE! MIKE! MIKE!”~

Smith: Mike is going to continue on! He’s going to try to win the OCW Title and vanquish Poblano and Ragana...tonight! Two owls, one stone!

Hood: He’s an idiot! Damnit, Mike...you’re in the house Poblano and Ragana built. YOU CAN’T WIN

Smith: Wow, you sound like you care.

Hood: Hey, the guy might annoy the fuck outta me...but he’s kinda grown on me, like a friendly fungus.

Smith: Can fungi be friendly?

Hood: The hell you asking me for? Do I look like a NERD?

~It’s time for Tier 3. Three legends await. The game is picking up now. Plethora remains seated with his MIGHTY SCYTHE. Alice Knight paces around the ring...she appears anxious, maybe even nervous. Bob, meanwhile, is leaning up against the wall...hoping to ambush his opponent. The doors start to slide open~

Smith: Okay, so who’s it gonna be? Who is facing who?

Hood: Fuck...all these matches are headliners, aren’t they?

Smith: Indeed. Six main event level talents. And it’s only going to get tougher from here.

Hood: This match kinda rocks.

Smith: Well, it’s definitely built by rocks.

Hood: Geezus. Your humor sucks.

~Bob Grenier doesn’t wait. He attacks the opening, reaching in and grabbing whoever is inside. He slings THE LOST STRANGER forward and into the ring. TLS flips into the ring and hits hard. Bob charges forward. TLS hurries to his feet...Grenier dives through the ropes and spears TLS to the ground...he starts to pummel him with right hands, keeping him down~

Smith: Bob Grenier is ready to go...he’s got the early jump on TLS.

Hood: Man, those three have just been waiting all this time. And you know when they heard that shit going on underneath them...all that did was get the competitive juices flowing.

Smith: Indeed.

~We cut to Plethora. He sits, holding his MIGHTY SCYTHE with the patience of JOB or, ya know, someone who is really patient. From behind him, a figure emerges. It steps into the candlelight revealing...EL KNUCKLE. Plethora stands, sensing the presence. The hulking, six hundred pound beast wielding a scythe turns, facing El Knuckle. El Knuckle looks up at the mountainous task that awaits and he hesitates...it’s time to plan~

Smith: Welcome to the third tier, El Knuckle. You’re locked in a chamber with, arguably the most successful mass murderer in human history.

Hood: And...he’s holding a scythe.

Smith: Why was he allowed to take that in there with him?

Hood: You gonna be the one to tell him he can’t?

Smith: Good point.

~With El Knuckle calculating his first plan of attack...we cut to the middle chamber. Alice lets out a HOOT. The fans outside HOOT-HOOT-HOOT. She prepares for...MIKE ZYBALA. Zybala steps in with Who’Re at his side. Alice smiles...she waves, “Hi, Mike!” Zybala smiles back. Who’Re whispers into his ear~

Smith: Aww man...Mike against Alice. My heart is weeping.

Hood: Good news is...one won’t make it. Bad news is...one WILL.

Smith: Alice, unknowingly, played a huge role in Ragana gaining power within OCW. I wonder how this giant temple built as a shrine to the owl goddess herself will impact Alice in this match.

Hood: Gert derm it...you’ve got me pulling for Zybala. KICK HER HEAD OFF

~Zybala enters the ring with Who’Re acting as ref. Alice walks up and gives Who’Re a hug. Who’Re looks emotional as she half heartedly hugs Alice back. She then SHOVES Alice back...Mike’s on all fours. Alice falls over Mike...Mike rolls her up and Who’Re dives in for the count~

1!
2!
KICK OUT!

~Alice kicks out, barely! The count was pretty fast. Who’Re gets to her knees and shakes her head. Zybala pops back to his feet. Alice backs into a corner, shocked. She looks at Who’Re...she looks at Zybala...it becomes clear that tonight, in this moment they are NOT her friends~

Smith: They just tried to SCREW Alice!

Hood: No, they are trying to SAVE OCW.

Smith: I don’t think I can stand for that, Hood.

Hood: It’s for the greater good!

‘Belvedere’: IF ANY OFFICIATING IS DEEMED UNFAIR THAT REFEREE WILL BE BANNED AND THE WRESTLER TO WHOM THE FAVORITISM WAS SHOWN WILL BE DISQUALIFIED.

~Zybala looks around, hearing Belvedere’s booming voice. Or, at least, what sounded like Belvedere. We’re not entirely sure. Zybala finds a camera and speaks into it, “Marcus! Marcus! I HAVE to win!”~

Smith: Is Welsh listening?

Hood: Was that even his call?

~We get a shot of Welsh outside the structure. Dadbod is being helped out...he gives Dadbod a pat on the back and a paycheck. Belvedere is next to him...they are going over the prize list and who remains...it’s pretty clear they weren’t behind that announcement~

Smith: He’s NOT listening.

Hood: The owner isn’t even watching the biggest match in his company’s history. CLASSIC OCW, BABY

Smith: So if that wasn’t Belvedere...then who was it?

Hood: The fuck if I know. But, whoever it is...they don’t want Zybala winning this thing.

~Alice rises from the mat...she says “Thanks, Belve” thinking...like everyone inside the structure that it was Belvedere who made that announcement. She looks at Who’Re and Zybala...she nods, saying “Okay, Okay...prison rules, let’s go.” They don’t really know what she means by that...but she squawks and runs at Zybala, taking him down with a Thesz Press!! She pounds the back of his head into the mat over and over with Who’Re trying to get her off...but Who’Re stops, scared she might get Zybala DQ’d~

Smith: Well, whoever made that announcement...it worked.

Hood: Geezus, Alice is possessed...ya know, moreso than usual.

Smith: She wants to win that OCW Title, Hood. She wants to prove that her first win was not a fluke.

~And back to the first chamber. Bob is all over TLS...he’s got him back into a corner, pummeling him with right hands. TLS puts his hands up, trying to get a reprieve. Bob pauses as if to say “really?” TLS thrusts his hand forward, thumbing Bob in the eye!! Grenier staggers back, holding his face. TLS drapes his arms over the top rope and leans forward, catching his breath~

Smith: Grenier’s advantage has been halted.

Hood: Two classic OCW wrestlers, Smith. One with a sneak attack and the other with a good, old fashioned thumb to the eye.

Smith: Win at all costs.

~With one eye shut, Bob charges in at TLS...TLS kicks his legs up and smacks Grenier in the face!! Bob spins around, holding his chin. TLS hops onto the second rope and he leaps off, grabbing Grenier’s head and slamming him face first into the mat with a Bulldog!! Bob is down. TLS is seated up, leaning forward, continuing to catch his breath~

Smith: Bob’s initial attack still weighing heavy on TLS.

Hood: Yea, but it won’t for long. That mask obviously absorbs most of the punches.

Smith: The fabric isn’t that thick.

Hood: Hey, that pattern...does it ever change?

Smith: What pattern?

Hood: The pattern on his mask...the Robstark.

Smith: Did..did you just call that a ROBSTARK?

Hood: …

Smith: It’s Rorschach, Hood.

Hood: Fuck you.

~To the third chamber. El Knuckle climbs the corner nearest him, from the outside. Plethora remains center of the ring holding his MIGHTY SCYTHE. El Knuckle spins around, on top of the corner...he removes his cape and flings it at Plethora! It hits Plethora in the face! El Knuckle leaps off the corner...the fans gasp, Plethora, with one swipe, could cut this dude in half. But, El Knuckle flies over Plethora, lands behind him, grabs his cape and tightens it around Plethora’s head!! He yanks back, squeezing the oxygen out, attempting to suffocate Plethora. Plethora tries to use his MIGHTY SCYTHE to reach El Knuckle, but he can’t...El Knuckle stays behind the huge man, trying to suffocate him~

Smith: El Knuckle with a very smart move.

Hood: The two most mysterious wrestlers...very mysterious.

Smith: Two of the worst kept secrets since…

Hood: You got that dildo for Christmas.

Smith: Huh?

Hood: Kinda hard to wrap a dildo and then pretend it’s something else.

Smith: I’ve never received something like that for Christmas, Hood!

~Plethora drops to one knee...El Knuckle’s strategy seems to be working. He places his knee into Plethora’s fat back and uses it to pull with even more leverage and strength, smothering Plethora with the red cape. Plethora finally drops his MIGHTY SCYTHE! Both his hands hit the mat, palms first. His breathing becomes labored~

Smith: We might get a choke out right here! What an upset this would be!

Hood: I can’t really comment on that because I have no idea who El Knuckle is...he could be Outcast for all I know.

Smith: He’s not Outcast!

Hood: He could be BRIM...although BRIM would be bleeding by now.

~Puff checks in on Plethora. Plethora’s arms lose their strength and his giant body hits the mat like Free Willy totally miscalculating the jump in that poster and crashing on top of that kid against those rocks. The entire chamber shakes. El Knuckle motions for Puff to check Plethora’s arm...this might be over. Puff tries to pick up Plethora’s arm...but it’s too heavy~

Smith: For a large fellow, Puff sure is weak.

Hood: Tacos and potato chips don’t weigh much, Smith.

Smith: How much do you think one of Plethora’s arms weighs?

Hood: I dunno...but I bet you could commit murder with it.

~El Knuckle gets frustrated with Puff’s WEAK ASS strength. He stops choking Plethora and shoves Puff away making a comment over how ‘useless’ he is. Puff frowns but maintains his professionalism. El Knuckle grabs the MIGHTY SCYTHE and he hurls it out of the ring...it clings up against the rock wall of the chamber and bounces to the ground...safely away from Plethora. El Knuckle gets to his hands and knees and he grunts and pushes, getting Plethora on his back...he makes a cover~

1!

2!

HUGE KICK OUT!!

Smith: Well, Plethora isn’t unconscious.

Hood: Yea, that’s gotta suck if you’re El Knuckle...whoever he is.

Smith: Just admit it. You know who El Knuckle is.

Hood: I will not admit it because I do not lie.

~El Knuckle’s body flies into the air and through the ropes, landing on the extended mat outside the ring. He hurries to his feet, a little shaken by Plethora’s strength. Plethora rolls onto all fours, trying to get to his feet. El Knuckle leaps up and springboards off the top rope...Plethora rises...he catches El Knuckle and DRILLS him into the mat with a Powerbomb!!! El Knuckle is down...Plethora looks around for his MIGHTY SCYTHE~

Smith: Plethora grasps control of this match for the first time...but he needs his Scythe, apparently.

Hood: Yes, that Scythe is mighty and sharp.

Smith: I don’t know about mighty but I can confirm that it is sharp.

~With Plethora busy looking for his MIGHTY SCYTHE...we cut back to the middle chamber. Alice has opened up a can of mustard on Zybala (NOT LITERALLY). He’s down, holding the back of his head...Alice struts around the ring, hooting. The fans outside in the desert all march around, flapping their wings. Who’Re looks on, concerned...she studies the walls, almost as though she’s expecting something evil to appear. Zybala reaches for the ropes...he uses them to get back to his feet. Alice pauses, seeing Zybala rising...she stops and reaches into her LACY BRA!!! The fans go wild! She pulls out a handful of OWL THIS MUSTARD packets...she rears back and she BLASTS Zybala in the face!! Mustard flies everywhere!!! Zybala spins around, out on his feet...Alice rolls him up!! Who’Re has no choice, she dives in, making the count~

1!

2!

3...NO!! KICK OUT

Smith: Zybala survives, but barely. That mustard shot sure did PACK A PUNCH

Hood: Geezus

~Mike rolls over, getting to one knee. Alice pops back to her feet. She charges at him, snaring him by the head, she’s looking for a DDT...but Mike rises up and tosses Alice off. She flies back, landing on her feet...she hits the ropes and sprints off...Zybala throws a SUPERKICK...Alice ducks...she hits the ropes again...she shoots off and catches a roundhouse kick right to the face!!! Alice falls to the mat, holding her mouth in pain! The fans BOOOO. Zybala can’t hear the boos, so his heart doesn’t break. Instead, he stumbles into a corner, smelling something awful...it’s the mustard on his face...he works like crazy to get rid of it~

Smith: As much as it pains me to say...tremendous kick there by Zybala. Alice had him reeling.

Hood: Ya know, lost in...well, everything that’s going on tonight. Zybala has a chance to defeat a former OCW Champion and Hall of Famer...right now.

Smith: Indeed he does. It’d probably be the biggest win of his OCW career.

~While Zybala tries to get the mustard out of his face, we return to the first chamber. TLS has Bob on his feet. He smacks Bob across the face with a straight right hand, sending Bob stumbling into a corner. TLS reaches back for a punch, Bob covers up...but TLS fakes him out and kicks him in the knee. Bob yells out, reaching for his knee and hobbling forward...TLS jumps up and dropkicks the knee out from under Bob, sending the former OCW Champion face down onto the mat. TLS immediately hovers over Bob, snaring his wounded leg and applying a single leg boston crab. He works the knee back and forth, really focusing on dislodging Grenier’s knee cap~

Smith: TLS showing some of the more technical elements of his wrestling.

Hood: Only TLS would get all technical inside a giant pyramid with hieroglyphics of Zybala being savagely murdered.

Smith: He zigs when everyone zags.

Hood: You saying he should go by the name PerZig?

Smith: No.

~TLS is no fool. He knows Grenier isn’t gonna tap out to something stupid like a single leg boston crab...so he does the desired damage before standing, holding onto the leg and slamming the knee into the mat!! Bob yells out in pain. TLS slams the knee into the mat again and again and again until Bob viciously yanks his leg away and curls up, holding his injured knee in pain. TLS stands over him, looking down at the wounded legend~

Smith: Bob might be going the rest of the way with one good leg. Not a great sign with several tiers remaining.

Hood: No shit. These guys gotta not only win their tier but absorb as little damage as possible.

Smith: Two tiers above them rests two very fresh and very dangerous Hall of Famers.

Hood: It’s gonna be rough.

~Back to the third chamber. Plethora towers over Puff asking where his Scythe is. Puff, being a wrestling purist, doesn’t want to bring the scythe back into the ring...but Plethora mentions ‘murder’ and Puff immediately points at the scythe. Plethora heads for the ropes...he tries to fit through them, but is having trouble. He gets kinda stuck between the middle and top rope. El Knuckle gets back to his feet...he runs forward and kicks the middle rope...it shoots up and nails Plethora in his little plethoras!!! He leans forward before falling onto the mat, shaking the entire chamber~

Smith: El Knuckle continues to find a way to compete with Plethora.

Hood: One thing we know about Plethora...he’s no eunuch.

Smith: I think we all know that, Hood.

Hood: I mean, I figured. But I wouldn’t be rude enough to ask.

~El Knuckle, unable to really manipulate or move Plethora in any productive fashion, hops on his back and locks in a sleeper, returning to the route of rendering Plethora unconscious. Plethora remains down, still nursing his little plethoras~

Smith: El Knuckle is trying, once again to choke Plethora out.

Hood: Yea, but Puff can’t lift Plethora’s arm.

Smith: You think he might just call it...if he thinks Plethora is out?

Hood: Oh man, that’d fuck Plethora over.

~Back to the center ring. Zybala has most of the mustard removed from his face. He hops onto the second buckle in the corner, waiting for Alice to get to her feet. She does, holding her head...it’s woozy from the roundhouse kick. Zybala leaps off the middle rope with a dropkick!! He connects!!! Alice’s body flies back, landing on the mat, hard. Zybala pops back to his feet...he gets into position, measuring her up for a SUPERKICK~

Smith: Mike is looking to end this! If he can pin Alice right here...not only will I lose a good portion of my will to live, but he will have conserved plenty of energy during this tier.

Hood: I kinda hope he does. Could use a new broadcast partner.

Smith: Rude!

~Who’Re crouches next to Zybala...she watches Alice alongside. He looks her way...she nods and says ‘NOW!’ Zybala rushes forward with a SUPERKICK!!! But Alice ducks!!! Zybala’s superkick hits the top rope!! It jars his leg!!! He turns around, limping...Alice jumps up and takes him down with a codebreaker!!! Her knees smash him in the face!!! Mike’s body jolts back, violently...he falls through the ropes, laying on the extended mat outside the ring. Alice pops back to her feet...she turns to Who’Re...well aware that something is up~

Smith: Alice and Who’Re have always been friendly. Which is no surprise...Alice is friendly with everyone.

Hood: Yea, until she decides to hit you in the face with hazardous mustard.

Smith: She’s immersed in competition, Hood! This is different!

~As Alice confronts Who’Re we cut back to the first chamber. TLS has Grenier on one leg...he’s holding Grenier’s bad leg and hitting it over and over with right hands. Bob’s got to do something. TLS rears back with a huge right hand, but Bob blocks it!!! He slugs TLS with a right hand of his own, spinning TLS around...Grenier drops down and rolls TLS up!!!! Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

3!!!

NO!!!

Smith: Wowwwww!

Hood: Shit, we sure that wasn’t three?

Smith: Totes.

Hood: Please don’t say totes unless you’ve got mah goats.

~Grenier grits his teeth...he crawls over to TLS, who is sitting up. Grenier reaches out and grabs TLS by the throat, trying to strangle the stranger. Bob looks crazed...his knee crippling his lower body with pain. He’s got the eyes of a man who can feel his opportunity for renewed immortality slipping away~

Smith: Bob looks desperate.

Hood: If his knee is fucked then, yea, he’s got no chance at winning this. Might be in ‘if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me’ mode.

Smith: Wouldn’t shock me.

~The image on TLS’ mask suddenly shifts to a different pattern. Bob pauses...caught off guard. TLS rears up and headbutts Bob right into the face!!! Grenier rolls away, holding his face in pain. TLS sits up and reaches for the ropes, pulling himself back to his feet~

Smith: Whoa!

Hood: It changed! I thought it might...he’s got some voodoo shit going on under that mask.

Smith: I don’t know, Hood. Something about TLS tonight...he feels like a legit threat to win this.

Hood: Way to kindly piss all over the guy.

~With TLS on his feet and Bob on the mat, in pain we cut back to the third chamber. Plethora’s tiny plethoras have healed. Now, he’s got to deal with the issue of El Knuckle trying to kill him. Plethora may like murdering but he doesn’t like to be murdered. He rises with El Knuckle on his back...El Knuckle does everything he can to keep Plethora subdued but Plethora is the size of like five El Knuckles. Plethora walks backward and casually tosses his weight into a corner, crushing El Knuckle. The fans outside go “OUCH THAT’S GOTTA HURT”. Plethora remains where he is, leaning all his weight into El Knuckle for awhile...trying to slow the guy down~

Smith: He’s just so big.

Hood: That’s what she said.

Smith: Seriously! How can you contend with a man of that size? Especially when he’s got an unrealistic amount of athleticism and stamina.

Hood: You go and grab that scythe and cut him down.

~Plethora catches a flicker of candle bouncing off the sharpened blade of his MIGHTY SCYTHE. He rises out of the corner and heads that way, reminded that he must retrieve his murderous blade. El Knuckle drops to the mat, on his ass, gasping for air. He looks over and sees Plethora, once again, trying to fit through the ropes...he isn’t having much luck. El Knuckle swallows some saliva and anxiety...eradicating it from his mental state. He pulls himself up and hops onto the second buckle. He climbs up to the top...he walks across the top rope to Plethora, who is trying to fit his massive body through the top and middle rope. El Knuckle jumps off the top rope and comes crashing down with both feet into the back of Plethora’s head!!! The fans outside go wild!!! Plethora drops to both knees...his arms and head are draped over the middle rope...the rest of his body remains inside the ring. El Knuckle, outside the ring, crawls forward and grabs Plethora’s head, yanking down, choking him across the middle rope~

Smith: El Knuckle is doing everything he can to advance. You’ve got to admire the fight. It’s that fight that’s made him a tag team legend.

Hood: WHOA Tag team legend...-leans in, staring at Smith- you holding out on me, Smith? Do you have an idea on who El Knuckle is?

Smith: YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHO HE IS

~With El Knuckle choking Plethora across the middle rope, we return to the middle chamber. Alice is confronting Who’Re. She’s all, “I thought we were gal pals. You know, pals who are gals? Pal gals.” Who’Re tries to explain, “Listen, you don’t…” Before she can say anything else, Zybala rolls Alice up once more. She dives in, making the count~

1!

2!

KICK OUT

Smith: I can’t take much more of this. My dear Alice. They are trying to steal this from her!

Hood: I mean, they are basically trying to save the world as we know it...but your DEAR ALICE is standing in their way. So, ya know, like I’ve always said...she’s fuckin evil.

Smith: SHEISNOT

Hood: She is snot? Finally, common ground.

Smith: That’s not what I meant!

~Zybala fires back to his feet. Alice is on her back. He bends over, but Alice throws a kick into the side of his head. She reaches up and thrust punches him in the throat. Mike chokes, stumbling back. Alice pops to her feet. She looks about as focused as we’ve ever seen her. She reaches out, grabbing Zybala by the hair...she grabs him, flings him around and tosses him to the mat with a facebuster!!! Zybala hits HARD, holding his face. Alice rises and turns her head, glaring at Who’Re. Who’Re backs up, pleading. But, Alice isn’t having it~

Smith: Yes! Go get her, Alice!

Hood: Alice is the incarnation of evil. She’s going to kill this promotion!

Smith: She’s a warrior, Hood. And warriors do not like to feel cheated.

~Alice bullies Who’Re into a corner. She grabs Who’Re by the hair, yanking her head back. The fans outside don’t know what to make of this...Alice is way more serious in this moment than they’re used to. She suddenly lets go and darts out of the way as a wild SUPERKICK flies into view, smashing Who’Re in the face!!! Who’Re drops to her knees before face planting. Zybala looks down, wide yes, holding his hair in shock. He turns and gets grabbed by Alice...she drops him with THE APACHE!!! Death Valley goes wild!!! Grass begins to grow in the desert! Alice tries to pin Mike...but Who’Re is unconscious!! She leans back on her knees and stares up into the candlelit ceiling yelling, “BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS!” She shakes her head, staring at Who’Re...now she’s got to wake up the woman she just threatened if she wants to win~

Smith: Tough times for my girl. But, she’s hanging in there.

Hood: I don’t know what she’s saying. Zeus has no beard. I’m not even sure he can grow facial hair.

Smith: She’s speaking about the real Zeus.

Hood: There is no real Zeus, idiot.

~With Alice trying to revive Who’Re. We return to the first chamber. TLS is kicking at Bob...stomping on him. Bob rolls into a corner. He sits up and stares at TLS...pain contorts Bob’s face. TLS stands over him. Bob snarls and motions for TLS to kick him. TLS does...Bob says ‘AGAIN’ TLS has no problem honoring that request. But, Bob seems to be feeding off the pain. TLS stomps on him harder and harder...but Bob rises to his feet. The fans outside can’t help it...they start to rally behind Grenier’s toughness~

Smith: Look at Bob! He’s refusing to roll over and die. That’s the attitude that won him the OCW Title!

Hood: He’s got that wild look in his eyes. The look he usually gets whenever a maple flavored joint rolls into the room.

~Grenier reaches his feet...TLS slugs him in the face but Bob no sells it. He stumbles forward, his knee still bothering him. TLS tries to rake Grenier across the face, but Bob bites his hand!! TLS pulls his hand back, bending over in pain. Bob stumbles forward and he drops TLS to the mat with a knee lift!!! TLS snaps back, hitting the canvas. Bob limps around, holding his knee. He stabilizes and raises both arms, yelling out~

Smith: Bob Grenier is possessed!

Hood: He’s feeling nothing tonight...but, I guarantee you, he’ll be in a world of hurt tomorrow.

Smith: Indeed

~TLS tries to get up...but Bob belts him in the head over and over with Double Axe Handles. TLS dives at Bob’s knee, out of desperation...he can feel this match slipping away. But, Bob grabs TLS’ head and hooks O'Gormans Neuce!!! He cuts the wind off by choking TLS. TLS tries to punch Bob in the knee...the ribs...anything...but his punches slow...he’s wearing down~

Smith: Grenier is about to choke TLS out!

Hood: Unbelievable comeback here by Bob. He’s got the heart of a fuckin champion

~Grenier hoists TLS up!!! He’s got him in position for Hollinger Park Hangman!!! The fans rise...they stare up at the screen nearest them with awe. Bob’s got TLS high in the air...and then...his knee buckles!!!! TLS drops back down to the mat and he grabs Grenier, rolling him over with a small package!!! Scruff dives in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BOB GRENIER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. THE LOST STRANGER WILL MOVE ON TO TIER FOUR INSIDE THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Smith: TLS survives! Unbelievable. I thought Bob was gonna pull it out.

Hood: Glad he didn’t...that’ll get you arrested.

Smith: Get serious!

Hood: Nah, in all seriousness...Grenier is a warrior. We all know that. But, TLS was better. He went after that knee, weakened it, and it came into play when he needed it to buckle.

Smith: That it did.

~Bob sits up against the bottom rope, frustrated. He runs his hands through his sweat soaked hair. He eyes TLS, who sits up against the bottom buckle, across the ring. TLS looks worse off than Bob...or his body language does, anyway. We can’t see his fuckin face. Grenier shakes his head...he punches the mat. Scruff decides to give Bob his distance~

Smith: Yea, Bob’s not happy.

Hood: It’s been a rough few weeks, man. He owns Gideon at Access Denied. Then he loses to Kelson and now in his first match inside The Great Illuminatus.

Smith: He lays it all out there, that’s for sure. It took an amazing effort from TLS to advance.

Hood: Maybe the biggest win of TLS’ OCW career.

~The creepy owl people emerge, along with The Knife Man. The Knife Man tries to look at Bob’s knee, but Bob tells him to fuck off. He yells out, “I was screwed! Welsh set me up!” We’re not sure what that means...but no doubt there’s going to be plenty more between Bob and Welsh in the coming weeks. Grenier eyes all the owl people...there’s a bunch of them and they all have this super weird energy working. So, he just throws his hands at the ring and limps out, exiting The Great Illuminatus~

Smith: Grenier dropped our GM...or, well, our majority owner on his head a few weeks back. He seems to think this loss is a retaliation.

Hood: I mean, I don’t know how it could be...but, hey, I’m not gonna argue with a pissed off Grenier.

Smith: Smart. Well, TLS is advancing. Let’s see who the other two will be.

~We cut to El Knuckle. He finishes choking Plethora across the middle rope. He pops to his feet and enters the ring. He sprints across and charges forward...he jumps up and brings his ass crashing down across the head of Plethora...smashing his throat against the middle rope. He stands, staring down at the mighty Plethora...he’s leaning over that middle rope, not moving. El Knuckle tries to shove him back into the ring, but it’s hard. So, he hops back into the ring...he sprints...he bounces off the rope, he charges forward and he slings his legs around with a 619!!! He smacks Plethora in the face, sending the big man rolling back into the ring!! The crowd outside goes wild!!! El Knuckle frantically crawls over for the pin. Puff drops down to make the count~

1!

2!!

3!!!!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: No!! Plethora inched his shoulder off the mat.

Hood: Are we sure? Like, it’s hard to tell when a dude is north of half a ton.

Smith: A ton is 2000 lbs, Hood. Plethora isn’t 1100lbs.

Hood: ...Yea, I know. I was just making sure YOU knew.

~El Knuckle argues with Puff. But Puff won’t budge. He signals it was only two. El Knuckle kicks at Plethora, out of frustration. It took so much effort to get a nearfall on the monster. What to do now? He pauses and slowly looks toward THE MIGHTY SCYTHE~

Smith: No, El Knuckle. Don’t bring that back into play. Plethora will cut you down.

Hood: Yea, that’s like trying to kill Popeye with spinach.

Smith: He’s feeling desperate, Hood. Imagine typing 17 thousand words worth of match type only to have it accidentally erased. It’d be pretty discouraging, right?

Hood: I mean, sure. But I’m not a fuckin loser so I wouldn’t be wasting that much time writing wrestling matches.

~El Knuckle can’t resist. He steps through the ropes and heads for Plethora’s MIGHTY SCYTHE. He picks it up. Plethora, laying on his back, slowly rotates his head in El Knuckle’s direction. He sees...HE SEES. El Knuckle gets a feel for the scythe...it’s heavier and harder to control than he imagined...but, he’s gonna roll with it. He turns for the ring but Puff runs forward yelling, “NOPE, NO SIR! PUT THAT BACK!”~

Smith: Puff wants no part of that Scythe.

Hood: What a killjoy.

Smith: Pun intended?

Hood: Sure

~As El Knuckle and Puff argue over the MIGHTY SCYTHE. We cut back to the middle chamber. Alice has Who’Re on her back. She doesn’t know what to do...so she leans in for some MOUTH TO MOUTH. The fans outside go wild, ‘YES! YES! YES!’~

Smith: OH MY

Hood: Okay, this might be the only halfway interesting thing she’s ever done.

Smith: I’m not sure if Mouth to Mouth is necessary but...you’d hate not to try.

~Alice, leaning in, eyes close, lips puckered, draws the attention of Who’Re. Her eyes open...she sees this image closing in on her and she shoves Alice away, rolling into the corner. Alice falls on her ass...her brow furrows. Kinda rude...but, hey, at least Who’Re is alive. She returns to her feet and snaps at Who’Re, trying to get her back in action. She turns and SUPERKICK!!!! Zybala nearly takes her head off!!! Alice’s body goes stiff...she falls to the mat!!! Zybala dives on top of Alice!!! He yells, “WHO’RE! WHO’RE!!!!”~

Smith: NO!

Hood: Haha! Yes, the bitch is dead! Count it, Who’Re! COUNT IT!!!

~Who’Re recognizes what’s going on. “OH SHIT” she yells, diving forward with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!

NO!!!!

Smith: YUSSSSSSS

Hood: MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING PIECE OF OWL SHIT

Smith: You’re not yourself. Have a snickers.

Hood: I’ll shove that Snickers up your ass.

~Alice rolls under the bottom rope, instinctively. Zybala crawls toward Who’Re...he pleads with her. She shakes her head, “I can’t. I can’t cheat...you heard it.” Zybala is overcome with disappointment. Who’Re looks around, “It’s this PLACE. It won’t let you win, I told you!” Zybala tries to pick Who’Re back up with his ‘anything is possible’ attitude~

Smith: Who’Re is despondent. She thinks they are fighting a battle they cannot win.

Hood: I mean, the only way to win this battle is for Zybala to win the OCW Title. So, yea, I’d say it’s a battle they can’t win.

Smith: RUDE

~Alice returns to her feet outside the ring. Zybala is unaware. He returns to his feet and turns to face her...she jumps up and springboards off the top rope!! The fans go wild!! She wraps her legs around Mike’s head for a hurricanrana!!! But Mike holds on!!! He pulls her up for a powerbomb!!! Alice, however, HOOTS in his face and leans forward with a headbutt!!!! Mike loses his grip...Alice slides down and grabs his head for THE APACHE!!!! But Mike shoves her off him...she lands on her feet and he runs forward with a SUPERKICK!!!! Alice crumbles to the mat!!! Mike dives on top!!! Who’Re dives in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: IT IS MY SOMBER AND SAD DUTY TO REPORT THE DEVASTATING NEWS THAT ALICE KNIGHT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. MIKE ZYBALA WILL ASCEND INTO TIER FOUR OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Smith: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOxInfinity

Hood: HOLY SHIT...he fuckin did it! He took down OCW’s greatest threat! Way to go, Zybala!

Smith: I’m gonna need a moment.

Hood: Need a tissue for your issue?

Smith: -whimpers-

~Alice sits up, shocked by what’s happened. Zybala pops to his feet...he and Who’Re embrace. Who’Re can’t believe it. Alice looks over her shoulder at the two...she rushes to her feet. But, before anything can happen, the creepy owl people surround her~

Hood: Eat her alive!

~That’s not gonna happen, Hood. Instead, one of them steps forward, handing her a box. She’s not really in the mood so she refuses. The owl guy opens the box for her...and, inside resides a rose...a rose with several thorns~

Smith: -sniffle- Wha...what is that?

Hood: Somebody just sent her a rose with thorns.

Smith: Who would do that?

Hood: I’d say Gilbert but...he’d probably send something stupid like a cauliflower.

Smith: A jilted admirer? A romantic interest from her past?

Hood: It’s gotta be. Someone who wants her to know that they haven’t forgotten. They haven’t forgotten what she did to them.

Smith: But she’s so innocent. She’d never hurt a fly.

Hood: That’s some bullshit.

~Alice stares at the rose. She slaps the box out of the owl guy’s hand and she storms out of the ring, annoyed. The fans outside continue to HOOT, but she can’t hear them...she may be upset over the result, but the OCW fans still love her. She exits, leaving Zybala and Who’Re in the center chamber~

Smith: So Zybala will join TLS in Tier 4. That just leaves…

Hood: Plethora and The Mysterious El Knuckle.

Smith: One will advance. One will be left behind.

~Puff and El Knuckle continue to argue over THE MIGHTY SCYTHE. Plethora barges his way in. He grabs Puff and El Knuckle by the heads and smashes their skulls together. They both collapse. El Knuckle drops the MIGHTY SCYTHE on the outside. Plethora reaches over the top rope, trying to get it...but his arm isn’t long enough. He, again, tries to slip through the ropes to get it...but his body is having trouble fitting~

Smith: For the love...is he gonna get stuck EVERY TIME

Hood: He really wants his scythe, Smith.

Smith: This is beyond ridiculous.

~El Knuckle sits up, holding his head. He sees Plethora stuck AGAIN. He grabs the MIGHTY SCYTHE. This doesn’t look good for Plethora. He slings the MIGHTY SCYTHE at Plethora’s head...everybody screams and covers their eyes. Our view cuts to the mat outside the ring...black cloth hits it...not blood. Just black cloth. It appears El Knuckle severed Plethora’s hood clean off! He looks up, excited to see Plethora revealed as the monster we all know he is...but...the severing of the hood only revealed A SECOND HOOD~

Smith: He’s got a hood underneath his hood!

Hood: Way too many hoods in this equation.

~Plethora uses the moment of surprise to reach out, while he’s still stuck in between the ropes...he grabs the handle of the MIGHTY SCYTHE and shoves back, sending El Knuckle flying into the rock wall. With control of his MIGHTY SCYTHE...he tries to get out of the ring to use it...but he can’t. El Knuckle shakes off the impact and sees danger is imminent if he doesn’t act. He charges forward and delivers a dropkick into Plethora’s ribs!!! The mammoth tumbles back into the ring, dropping his MIGHTY SCYTHE. It lands on the outside. El Knuckle kicks it away, realizing he’s better off without it. Plethora winds up in the center of the ring, on his back~

Smith: Plethora is down. El Knuckle’s got a chance.

Hood: WHO IS THAT GUY? Whoever he is, he’s fucking awesome.

~El Knuckle hurries to the top rope...he looks down and leaps off with a splash, belly first. He lands right on top of Plethora. He tumbles off, forgoing a pin. He rises to his feet...the fans outside are all eating burritos in his honor. He reaches for Plethora’s right leg~

Smith: He’s going for that heel DDT that’s been so successful thus far. He’s pinned two with it already.

Hood: Yea, but can he lift Plethora’s leg? That thing probably weighs as much as a dead hooker.

Smith: I don’t...wait, what?

Hood: They’re heavier than they look.

~El Knuckle grunts and yells, he gets it off the mat and under his arm!!! He hooks it...but Plethora lifts his leg up and El Knuckle flies through the air, tumbling forward, over Plethora!! He tumbles and braces himself in the corner. He pulls himself back up, staring at Plethora. He shakes his head...he’s truly puzzled and stymied at this point~

Smith: I don’t think he knows what to do, Hood.

Hood: Yea, well, I mean...how do you defeat a six hundred pound dude in a match like this? You can’t pick him up. You can’t move him around. He can fuckin lay there for days.

Smith: Which is basically what he’s done this entire match.

~El Knuckle moves forward, he’s gonna figure this out on the fly. He stands over Plethora and reaches down to grab him by the head...however, Plethora shocks everyone and freaks some out by spinning around with cat like agility and reaching his feet. He stands upright and looks down at El Knuckle. El Knuckle staggers back, stunned by what’s just happened~

Smith: And there it is.

Hood: That’s what makes him the most dangerous man in OCW history.

~El Knuckle punches Plethora in the head...but it has no effect. He places his hands in El Knuckle’s chest and he shoves him back...El Knuckle flies through the air and SLAMS into the corner. He winces in pain. Plethora charges forward and CRUSHES El Knuckle with a splash!!! He whips El Knuckle out of the corner...El Knuckle runs faster than he’s ever run in his life, spinning around and SLAMMING into the opposite corner. Plethora charges up and sprints ahead...but El Knuckle slides between his legs!!! Plethora SLAMS into the corner!!! He stumbles back, shaken~

Smith: Plethora is shaken!

Hood: But not stirred.

~El Knuckle punches Plethora in the head over and over. He runs into the ropes and hits him with a clothesline. He does this again and again. Plethora is on his heels, waving his arms around. El Knuckle looks to the nearest corner...he runs over and climbs...he leaps off with a cannonball!!! But Plethora CATCHES HIM!! Plethora jumps into the air and spikes El Knuckle onto his head with a jumping Piledriver!!!! El Knuckle is down. Plethora makes the cover. Puff drops down with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: THE MYSTERIOUS EL KNUCKLE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLETHORA WILL DEFY GRAVITY AND ASCEND INTO TIER 4.

Smith: Ouch! Plethora rose up when he needed to and he survived...SURVIVED El Knuckle.

Hood: No shit. El Knuckle wrestled like a champion. A fucking champion.

Smith: He outlasted two Hall of Famers, three tag team icons, a former two time savage champion, the leader of the BALD movement, and one Dadbod.

Hood: If only I knew his identity so I could congratulate him

~The creepy owl people enter. El Knuckle gets up, holding his neck. He looks at Plethora as if to say “fuck you you big bastard.” He exits through the ropes...he sees THE MIGHTY SCYTHE and he snatches it. Plethora moves toward him, but it’s too late...El Knuckle exits with Plethora’s coveted weapon~

Smith: Thank goodness. That lowers the odds of casual murder quite substantially.

Hood: Yes, but not all the way to zero.

Smith: Casual murder is never at zero when Plethora roams.

Hood: So, Plethora, Zybala, and TLS?

Smith: Those are the three..moving on to Tier 4.

Belvedere: CONGRATULATIONS TO TLS, MIKE ZYBALA, AND PLETHORA ON SURVIVING TIER 3. YOU HAVE EARNED A SAVAGE TITLE SHOT FOR YOUR EFFORTS.

Smith: For those keeping up at home. TLS and Zybala have earned a Craze, TransAtlantic, and Savage Title Shot...so far. Plethora, just the Savage Title shot.

Hood: Title shots for days.

Belvedere: BEFORE ASCENDING, YOU NOW HAVE THE OPTION OF OPTING OUT AND KEEPING YOUR EARNINGS.

~OCW reps enter with the contract. TLS, again, has zero interest. He heads on to Tier 4. Zybala made up his mind in Tier 2. He’s going all the way, baby. He exits with Who’Re. So, that just leaves Plethora. Plethora looks at the contract...he then looks at the OCW rep. He then reaches out and snaps the OCW reps neck, killing him. Everybody gasps. Plethora rips the ropes apart and exits, heading on to Tier 4~

Hood: Well, I guess we’ll take that as a ‘no’.

Smith: Geezus

Hood: Hey, like we said...never zero.

Smith: He just doesn’t care anymore.

Hood: Would you, Smith? It’s pretty obvious the guy could start up a Youtube channel where he casually murders people on a daily basis and he’d never face any punishment.

~Our view shifts upward, away from Tier 3. We ascend into Tier 4. There are two chambers. Two rings~

Smith: Alright fans...Tier 4 will hold one match. Two of the three surviving wrestlers will do battle to reach Tier 5. The other, will relax and recuperate with a bye.

~We get a quick glimpse of Tier 5. PerZag is crouched in the ring, eyes closed. He hears the doors beneath his tier opening. He opens his eyes and rises...his time is nearing. Next door, TIO paces back and forth, anxious for violence. He, too, hears doors opening beneath him. He stops...a smile crosses his face~

Smith: And a look at PerZag and TIO. They will await the two survivors of this Tier.

Hood: Shit, man...imagine going through all of this ONLY to be given a fresh Hall of Famer as your opponent.

Smith: It sounds tough but...two fresh Hall of Famers were just eliminated.

Hood: I mean, yea, that’s true. But, Zybala had two byes and TLS had one.

Smith: Good point. Let’s see who gets the bye in Tier 4.

~With the doors open...we see Zybala and Who’Re enter the first chamber. They look around...they are alone. Who’Re looks at Mike, “Did we get the bye?!” Zybala shrugs, “I don’t know.” In the chamber next door...the doors slide open and out steps the menacing PLETHORA. He, too, is alone~

Smith: Well, Zybala and Plethora won’t be facing each other.

Hood: And, TLS won’t get the bye. He’ll have to face one of them. But...which one will it be?

~Doors open in both chambers. More suspense. Our view cuts to INSIDE the doors...we see TLS waiting. His door opens...he steps out and he sees...ZYBALA~

Smith: It’s going to be TLS versus Mike Zybala!

Hood: Plethora gets the bye!

Smith: Guy murders an employee and gets rewarded with a bye.

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY!!

~TLS steps through the ropes. Zybala, already in the ring, greets him. Both competitors are impressed that each other has survived this far~

Smith: These two started at the bottom and now they are here.

Hood: Calm down, Drake.

~Before any action takes place, Who’Re walks up to TLS. She tries to bargain with him. She explains the situation...she knows he’s an OCW vet...she knows he, maybe, kinda, sorta, has a fondness for Zybala. She tries to get him to LAY DOWN~

Smith: Yea, that’s not gonna work.

~“IT’S FOR THE GREATER GOOD” she pleads. Zybala tries to get Who’Re to stop...he sees that TLS isn’t having any of it. TLS pushes Who’Re to the side and he fires forward with a right hand into Zybala’s face!! Zybala fires back with one of his own. The two men begin trading right hands...the fans outside go wild~

Smith: And a brawl to begin Tier 4!! Look at these two icons go at it!

Hood: Two of the greatest wrestlers in OCW history to never win the OCW Title.

Smith: Indeed. Tonight could change all of that.

~Zybala stumbles back, TLS is winning the fist fight. Zybala nears the corner...he ducks and darts forward. TLS punches the top turnbuckle...he turns around, holding his right hand. Zybala throws a SUPERKICK...TLS narrowly averts certain defeat. Zybala’s foot flies past him. TLS spins around, he grabs Zybala from behind and tosses him over his head with a Release German Suplex!!! Zybala lands on the back of his head, hard. TLS pops back to his feet~

Smith: TLS with the early advantage. He seems okay with Poblano continuing to terrorize this organization.

Hood: Well, with all due respect, it’s not like things are all that different around here.

Smith: WE’VE GOT TIME TRAVELING PORTALS

Hood: Okay, so ONE thing is different.

~In Tier 5, TIO bounces around the ring, growing more and more anxious with every vibration, every noise he hears beneath him. PerZag, next door, is the same, leaning in a corner maintaining an intensity about him that only the Worthiest of Them All could exude. His Craze Title around his waist. We return to Tier 4 where TLS has a handful of Zybala’s hair, yanking him to his feet. He shoves him into the ropes...Zybala bounces off and TLS bends over, lifting Zybala onto his shoulders...he steps to the side before dropping Zybala on his head with a Death Valley Driver~

Smith: Ouch.

Hood: TLS busting out some wrestling moves.

Smith: He’s always had them, Hood. Things are slowing down inside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS...wrestler’s are catching their breath. A sense of normalcy, perhaps, settling in.

Hood: That or TLS is at home. He finds the abnormal to be, normal.

~Next door, we see Plethora being served a giant HAM. He begins to enjoy it. We return to the only action taking place. Zybala fights to his feet, only to have TLS kick him in the gut. TLS rushes forward, he grabs Zybala by the head and he drops him with a DDT!!! Zybala’s forehead is driven into the mat. He’s face down. TLS rolls over and pushes Zybala on his back...he makes the cover. Who’Re frowns and drops to her knees...she makes the count~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!!

Smith: Zybala is still alive!

Hood: Yea, but he’s gonna have no neck if this continues.

Smith: TLS zeroed in on Grenier’s knee in Tier 3. He’s doing the same to Zybala’s neck in Tier 4.

Hood: Smart.

~TLS remains on his knees, he grabs Zybala from behind and grips his head, twisting his neck. Zybala yells out, spiking pain stabbing him in the neck. He grimaces and reaches for the ropes...but, they’re too far away and wouldn’t help, anyway. TLS twists at his neck, trying to squeeze a submission out of Mike...but there’s no way in hell Mike is going to quit. Zybala shows the resiliency he’s known for...he powers up to his feet...the fans outside go wild. He drills TLS in the lower abdomen with three elbows. TLS stumbles back...Zybala pump fakes a SUPERKICK!! TLS spins around, giving up his back. Mike jumps into the air and smacks him in the back of the head with a Spinning Heel Kick!!! TLS stumbles to his knees, into the ropes!! The crowd goes wild! Zybala hits the mat after the move and instantly reaches for his neck~

Smith: That move jarred his already weakened neck, Hood.

Hood: A fucked up neck is second only to a fucked up back. There’s not much you can do with that shit.

Smith: Indeed.

~Mike, holding his neck, hurries to his feet. TLS pulls up using the top rope. Mike charges in...TLS turns around and Zybala cracks him in the jaw with a jumping knee!! TLS falters back into a corner. Mike charges in, he jumps up and kicks TLS in the gut. He stands on the middle rope before hooking TLS and falling back, tossing him over into the center of the ring with a Monkey Flip!! Somewhere Checkers is smiling. Zybala returns to his feet, holding his neck. TLS is stunned...he struggles to his feet, stumbling around. Zybala charges forward...TLS turns around...Zybala blasts him with A SUPERKICK!!!! TLS falls to the mat...Zybala makes the cover~

1!

2!

3!!!

NO!

SHOULDER UP!

Smith: TLS got the shoulder up! He survived a Zybala superkick!

Hood: I’m telling you, this is his night!

Smith: Unbelievable. He’s never looked better...but, Zybala is still in control.

~Zybala rolls over, holding his neck. Who’Re stares at her hand...she thinks she could have maybe counted faster. TLS slides out of the ring, under the bottom rope...he remains on the extended mat. Zybala pulls himself up. Who’Re tries to apologize...but he won’t hear it. She’s doing just fine. TLS manages to get to his feet, outside the ring. Mike rushes over there...TLS ducks and drives a shoulder into Mike’s gut! Mike doubles over. TLS flips over the top rope, landing behind Mike, inside the ring. Mike turns around...TLS kicks him in the gut...he hoists him up for a suplex but brings him down on his head with a Brainbuster!!! Mike’s neck gets crunched!! He falls to the mat, still. TLS makes the cover…a dejected Who’Re slides in, making the count~

1!

2!

3...NO!

KICK OUT

Smith: He’s not done yet!

Hood: Poblano, wherever he is, is sweating. And it’s not because he just bit into a super hot pepper, either.

Smith: His power and worth is being threatened before our very eyes!

~TLS returns to his feet...his focus is fully intact. He stands over Zybala, who is on his side, holding his neck. He reaches down to grab Mike, but Who’Re gets in his way...again, she begs, pleading with TLS about the importance of tonight’s event and its outcome. TLS grabs Who’Re and he slings her aside. This draws some boos from the fans outside. TLS pulls Mike to his feet...Mike tries to fight him off, but TLS hits him with a quick jawbreaker!!! Mike’s entire body seizes up from pain. TLS returns to his feet...he hooks Mike and he rolls him over with a SMALL PACKAGE!! But, Who’Re refuses to count...she can’t do it~

Smith: Who’Re won’t count! This, I’d imagine, won’t go over well.

Hood: The fuckin WHORE is screwing TLS!

Smith: In her mind, she’s SAVING OCW.

~TLS realizes no count is coming...so he lets go of Mike and returns to his feet. His focus finds Who’Re and, well, if we could see his face he’d be super pissed. He heads her way. She stands, backing into a corner, begging him not to hurt her. But, she might have just cost him the OCW Title. He stands over her, menacingly. A door opens...and in walk a bunch of the creepy owl people~

Smith: And The Great Illuminatus looks ready to make Who’Re pay for her insubordination.

Hood: Hey, it warned her.

~They surround the ring. TLS pauses, noticing the sudden influx of company. Who’Re ducks under his arm and hurries for Mike...she helps him up and points out the owl people. Zybala’s not all there at the moment...he’s riddled with pain. An owl person enters the ring...Zybala reacts with a SUPERKICK!! It sends this owl person to the ground. Who’Re ushers him to the ropes...they climb through...Mike SUPERKICKS two owl people right outside the ring. Who’Re points toward the door they entered, “GET IN THERE! GET TO THE TOP!” Zybala doesn’t want to leave...but he sees the owl people closing in on Who’Re. TLS watches from inside the ring. They grab Who’Re...Zybala reaches to help her, but she shoves him into the door...it slides shut, trapping Zybala inside~

Smith: Who’Re just shoved Zybala in that door...the door where all those creepy owl people came from.

Hood: The hell does that mean?

Smith: I...I don’t know.

~The owl people grab a screaming and fighting Who’Re to an alternative door, removing her from THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. All that’s left in this chamber is TLS. He looks around like “Okay, what the hell do we do now?”~

Belvedere: I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT DUE TO UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES THE LOST STRANGER AND PLETHORA WILL BOTH ADVANCE INTO TIER 5.

~The crowd explodes with boos~

Smith: That isn’t fair!

Hood: Wait...he didn’t say Zybala was eliminated.

Smith: Ooohhh...good point.

Belvedere: BOTH WRESTLERS WILL BE GIVEN THE OPTION OF OPTING OUT. BY SURVIVING TIER 4 THEY HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO ‘OWN’ AN UPCOMING OCW PAY PER VIEW.

~A door slides open in TLS’ chamber with an OCW rep. Plethora doesn’t get one. It looks as though OCW learned it’s lesson. Plethora exits his chamber, heading up to the next level. TLS scoffs at the notion of opting out and he, too, heads for the next tier~

Smith: And they’re both moving on. TLS, right now, has a Craze, TransAtlantic, and Savage Title shot...he also can Own a Pay Per View. He’s going to let it all ride.

Hood: Meanwhile, Plethora has a Savage Title shot and he can Own a Pay Per View. He didn’t really get an option to opt out, though.

Smith: I think he made it pretty clear that he has no intention of opting out in the previous Tier, Hood.

~We transition to Tier 5. TIO stands in the ring, he hears the competitor heading his way. He bounces around, eager. PerZag, in his chamber, keeps a steady gaze on the door. Who will they face?~

Smith: And we’re about to get two epic match ups, Hood.

Hood: So, Plethora versus TIO or PerZag? TLS versus TIO or PerZag? WHAT’S IT GONNA BE?

Smith: We’re about to find out!

Hood: Advantage favors the dude’s with full health, that’s for sure. TIO and PerZag have just been chilling.

Smith: Yep. But, TLS and Plethora are both in fine shape and, some might venture to say they could have the advantage, given that they’re already warmed up.

Hood: Nah.

~The doors to the chambers open. TIO and PerZag head toward the ropes of their ring, staring intently at who will walk through those doors~

Smith: And, remember, these wrestlers have NO IDEA who’s survived. For all TIO knows, Iggy may burst through there. For all PerZag knows, Bob Grenier could waltz through that door.

Hood: Truth.

~A smile crosses PerZag’s face when he gets a look at his opponent. Stepping out and into the chamber is...THE LOST STRANGER~

Smith: PerZag’s going to face TLS! TLS has been trying to decide whether he should face PerZag or Veronica Strader...well, it looks as though that decision has been made for him.

Hood: Craze Title on the line?

Smith: Yep.

Hood: Fortune favors the bold.

Smith: And this means…

Hood: Oh boy.

~TIO sees PLETHORA enter his chamber. He nods as if to say, “Okay. Alright, let’s do this.” TIO backs up and motions for Plethora to enter~

Smith: TIO is welcoming the challenge!

Hood: Have these two ever faced?

Smith: I don’t think they have, Hood.

Hood: Amazing!

~Plethora eyes TIO, refusing to get into the ring. TIO’s seen his fair share of wars against the best the business has to offer. So, he’s not averse to going outside the ring and battling it out with one of the greatest to ever lace them up. He heads for the ropes and steps outside. Once outside, he approaches Plethora...and it’s as this moment when every wrestler who has ever faced Plethora realizes the size and magnitude of the task that awaits~

Smith: He isn’t just fat, folks.

Hood: Nope, he’s basically a grizzly bear with a brain.

Smith: Grizzly Bears have brains, Hood.

Hood: Not very good ones. Smartest bear was Yogi and he ALWAYS fell for tricks involving picnic baskets.

~TIO doesn’t back down. He throws a right hand into Plethora’s head. He throws another and another...they seem to have little impact. He brings his hands together and smashes Plethora with a double axe handle...but, again, very little impact. Plethora suddenly reaches out and grasps TIO by the throat with both hands!! TIO’s eyes widen, he tries to break Plethora’s grip, but can’t. Plethora lifts TIO up and he throws him back into the ring, over the top rope with freakish ease. He turns and heads for the ropes, attempting to enter into the ring~

Smith: Can he fit?

Hood: I think he can, I mean he managed to get into the ring in the third chamber.

Smith: Good point.

~While Plethora tries to fit his body through the ropes, we return to the first chamber. TLS slowly enters into the ring. PerZag waits. TLS approaches. PerZag removes his Craze Title and holds it up...he extends his arm. Scruff steps forward and takes it. A gesture of, ‘You wanted this? You got it.’ The fans cheer as the two OCW veterans circle one another...they lock up! Another huge ovation! PerZag bullies TLS into a corner~

Smith: And here we go! PerZag taking on TLS!

Hood: Probably a month earlier than they wanted but...CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~He straightens TLS up and slowly releases the lock up. He fires forward with a vicious knife edged chop!!! TLS leans into PerZag...PerZag shoves him back and unloads ANOTHER CHOP!! TLS drops to one knee, holding his chest in pain...PerZag snares a front face lock and yanks him back to his feet...he slings him into the middle of the ring, hooks his arm and takes him over with a vicious snap suplex!!! TLS lands hard, arching his back in pain~

Smith: PerZag is precise...he’s on point. He looks better than ever.

Hood: Well, he dominated Ed at Access Denied. That’s no easy feat.

Smith: Nope.

~PerZag pops back to his feet. TLS sits up, onto his elbow. PerZag snares him by the back of his mask, yanking him to his feet. TLS tries to fight him off...punches into the midsection. PerZag is staggered...he stumbles back. TLS sprints back...he hits the ropes, he bounces off and he EATS A DROPKICK right to the face!!! He collapses to the mat, rolling around in pain. PerZag pops back to his feet like the ‘Australian’ beast that he is~

Smith: What a dropkick! What elevation! You sometimes forget how impressive an athlete PerZag is.

Hood: Only idiots forget, Smith. Not me. I’ve bought stock in PerZag 8 years ago.

~With PerZag in control...we return to the second chamber. Plethora finally fits his massive girth through the ropes and enters the ring. This receives a small cheer from the fans. He heads for TIO, who is on one knee recovering from being tossed like a toddler. As if people throw toddlers...C’MON. Plethora grabs TIO by the hair...TIO tries fighting him off, but Plethora’s hands are like bear claws...and not the tasty kind. Plethora smothers TIO in his arms...he picks him up, spins around and SMASHES him into the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! The entire ring shakes from impact...the entire GREAT ILLUMINATUS quivers under Plethora’s weight. Plethora places his entire body on top of TIO for a pin. Puff hustles in, making the count~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: Ugh, imagine getting pinned by Plethora.

Hood: I’d rather not.

Smith: TIO is in trouble...he took the wrong approach in going after Plethora and now his chances of advancing are dimming with each passing moment.

~Plethora returns to his feet...he raises his arm and comes down with a HUGE elbow onto TIO’s body. Again, everything shakes. TIO is flattened on the mat. Plethora takes a moment to gather himself before returning to his feet and ripping TIO off the mat. He shoves him into a corner. TIO hits hard. Plethora charges forward...he spins around and throws his back into TIO!!! Plethora remains there, leaning all his weight into TIO, who is trapped in the corner~

Smith: Plethora, again, using that weight to his advantage. Simply trying to fight off being smothered will wear TIO out.

Hood: Yep. When you’re trying to fight off something THAT MASSIVE...it’s gonna wear you the fuck out.

Smith: And, TIO hasn’t wrestled since August, I think. Or maybe September. Either way, it’s been awhile.

~With Plethora in complete control, we return to TLS and PerZag. TLS crashes into a corner, hitting hard. PerZag charges in with a HUGE splash!!! He backs out...TLS stumbles forward, PerZag catches him, spins around and slams him into the mat with a spinning bodyslam!!! He goes for a pin...Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

KICK OUT

Smith: Not yet. Although, you get the feeling PerZag is close.

Hood: TLS has fought Zybala and Meghan Strader. Dude’s got to be running on fumes.

Smith: Don’t forget Bob Grenier.

Hood: SHIT! Yea, no way he’s making it out of this tier.

~PerZag gets to his knees for a second...formulating his next attack. TLS quickly grabs onto his right arm and wraps his legs around it!! PerZag is suddenly trapped! He tries to pull his arm free, but he can’t! TLS focuses on PerZag’s right hand...he starts to bend and twist the fingers...he tries to break the knuckles. PerZag yells out in pain~

Smith: TLS is targeting PerZag’s right hand!

Hood: He’s doing it again. He’s going for a body part.

Smith: PerZag needs that hand to, well, basically perform just about any maneuver.

~PerZag gets to his feet. TLS won’t let go of his arm. He yanks back on PerZag’s index finger. He tries to break his middle finger. He rips at the ring and pink fingers, pulling them apart. The skin between them breaks, producing blood. PerZag uses his left hand and he grabs TLS by the top of his mask...he raises up, pulling TLS from the mat...he then SLAMS TLS down into the canvas!! The move pummels the wind from TLS’ lungs. He legs to of PerZag’s arm...PerZag stumbles into the ropes, holding his hand...it’s bloodied, it’s red...it’s irritated...it looks like it might have more than a few cracks and breaks inside~

Smith: PerZag got his hand free but TLS did quite a bit of damage.

Hood: Again, I’ll keep saying it. TLS is as focused as I can remember. It’s 2015 all over again!

Smith: For those who don’t remember...TLS was undefeated in 2015. He’d fulfilled his obligations as Ascension Champion and was set to face Bob Grenier for the OCW Title. Until, well, OCW went on hiatus.

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY

~With TLS down and PerZag nursing his injury we return to Plethora and TIO. Plethora stops smothering TIO in the corner with his massive weight. He steps forward and turns around, facing the OCW legend. TIO’s face is puce. He’s coughing...he’s sucking wind...almost unconscious due to a lack of oxygen. Plethora notices how close TIO is to passing out and he spins back around to finish him off. But, TIO drops to one knee and delivers a low blow!!! Plethora stumbles forward, doubling over!! The fans outside cheer. TIO remains on one knee, coughing and spitting up some saliva. Slowly his head raises and his eyes look crazed~

Smith: Oh no. It’s that evil persona.

Hood: He’s snapped!

Smith: A maniac is behind the wheel.

Hood: He told Ian to take a walk. He’s got it from here.

~Slowly, TIO rises behind Plethora. He hoists himself onto the second rope. Plethora turns around, still nursing his poor little plethoras...they’ve had a tough evening. TIO leaps off the second buckle and he blasts Plethora in the face with a kick!!! Plethora staggers, holding his head. TIO pops back to his feet...he hits the ropes, bounces off and smashes Plethora with a clothesline!! He does this again and again and again...Plethora leans back on his heels...he waves his arms. TIO drills him with a right hand and another and another and another!!! Plethora teeters, but he does not fall. “GO DOWN YOU BIG BASTARD!” TIO yells. He jumps up and headbutts Plethora!!! Plethora stumbles backward. TIO spins around and he HAMMERS Plethora in the head with a roaring elbow!!! This sends Plethora stumbling into the ropes...his arms twist around as he falls to the mat and he gets LOCKED IN THE ROPES!! The fans outside go wild~

Smith: Plethora’s arms are trapped in the ropes!

Hood: Oh shit!

Smith: He’s helpless. TIO can do whatever he wants.

~TIO steps up to Plethora. He punches him in the face. He backhands him. He steps back and kicks him across the face. It’s impossible to tell what kind of damage he’s doing due to his hood. TIO reaches inside the hood and starts to rip and gouge at Plethora’s facial features. Plethora kicks his legs around and tries to break free, but he can’t. TIO finally stops...he drops to one knee and he grabs Plethora by the hood...he begins to deliver right hand after right hand~

Smith: This is brutal. It’s an assault.

Hood: Guy might literally beat Plethora to death.

~With TIO trying to murder the murderer we return to PerZag and TLS. TLS is on his feet...PerZag goes after him, protecting his right hand. TLS turns around, facing The Worthiest of Them All...PerZag cuts through him with a left handed chop. TLS stumbles into a corner. PerZag chops him again...TLS leans back in the corner, holding his chest. PerZag tries to whip him across the ring, but TLS reaches out, grabs PerZag’s left hand and he squeezes!!!! PerZag drops to one knee, holding his hand in pain. TLS lifts a knee into PerZag’s face, sending him onto his back~

Smith: That hand is a major, major issue.

Hood: TLS won’t stop going after it, either. He’d be a fool to do anything else.

Smith: Agreed.

~PerZag, instinctively, puts his right hand down on the mat. TLS stomps on it with his foot! PerZag yells out, hitting the mat and rolling out of the ring, onto the extended mat area. TLS reaches through the ropes, pulling PerZag to his feet. PerZag headbutts TLS in the midsection!!! TLS stumbles back. PerZag jumps up, he springboards off and dives over TLS, taking him over with a sunset flip!!! Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Smith: Great effort by PerZag! He’s trying to defeat TLS before that injured hand comes back into play.

Hood: Even with one good hand he’s still the most athletic guy remaining in this contest. A physical freak.

Smith: Indeed!

~PerZag hurries to his feet. TLS does the same. PerZag goes back after TLS, but he kicks PerZag’s right hand!! PerZag spins around, holding his hand in pain. TLS grabs PerZag’s hair from behind and yanks him back...he hooks him for an inverted DDT. PerZag, though, jumps up and flips over, reversing the position!!! He lifts TIO up and drops him with an inverted DDT of his own!! The fans outside go wild!!! PerZag tries another cover~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: Wow! That was close!

Hood: You just can’t hesitate with PerZag, man. He’s too fuckin good.

Smith: He’s got the eye of the tiger tonight, that’s for sure! He’s two tiers away from becoming a two time OCW Champion.

~PerZag returns to his feet, he holds and inspects his right hand. It’s swelling. It looks pretty awful and super painful. He puts it behind his back as TLS returns to his feet. PerZag runs forward with a big boot...but TLS ducks. Both men hit the ropes...they bounce off and they catch each other with a double clothesline!!! Their bodies twist and fly in the air before landing on the mat!!! The entire chamber shakes as Scruff jumps up and down, trying to check on the two competitors~

Smith: And they’re both down!

Hood: What impact...PerZag is the freak athlete but, man, TLS can move when he wants to.

~With both men down we return to TIO and Plethora. TIO slugs Plethora across the face and yells, “GIVE IT UP!” Puff leans in, trying to see if Plethora wants to quit...but there’s no face, no voice. Just darkness. TIO hits him again...he leans over, sucking wind. He’s beaten the absolute SHIT out of Plethora...so much so that his knuckles are bruised and bleeding. He looks at Puff and motions toward the ropes, “I can’t fuckin beat him this way. Let’s get him untied...c’mon, HELP.” Puff doesn’t want to draw the ire of the apoplectic personality driving TIO’s brain, so he helps. But, he’s weak as fuck so he doesn’t really do much...TIO has to do all the heavy lifting. He yanks forward on the ropes...he yells he pushes and pushes and pushes and FINALLY Plethora’s arms are freed. He collapses front first onto the mat~

Smith: Is Plethora out?

Hood: He might be...but we wouldn’t know because Puff can’t life his fuckin arm.

~TIO tries to roll Plethora over...he digs his feet into the mat and uses his arms and shoulders to finally get him onto his back. There’s a blood stain where Plethora’s face had rested, proving that, yes, damage has been done. TIO, catching his breath, looks at the blood stain and perks up. It Bleeds. He dives forward onto Plethora for the cover. Puff makes the count~

1!

2!

3! NO!

Shoulder Up!!

Smith: VERY close. TIO is knocking on the door to Tier 6.

Hood: Man, I bet Plethora’s face looks more fucked up than a Jackson Pollock painting.

Smith: It’s evidently bleeding.

Hood: That or he was eating spaghetti while tied up in those ropes.

Smith: I hate the fact that I can’t completely dismiss that option.

~Plethora is still on his back. TIO pops to his feet and he goes after Puff. He grabs Puff by the collar of his ref shirt and bullies him into a corner. He threatens Puff to count ‘the right way’ next time. Puff sees in TIO’s eyes that he isn’t fucking around...so he nods~

Smith: Two of, well, what should be America’s Most Wanted are in that chamber. And the other one, Puff, is just trying to survive.

Hood: Who knew the real danger was trying to survive through this thing as the fuckin ref.

~With TIO threatening Puff while Plethora is down, we turn our focus back to TLS and PerZag. Perzag sits up, holding his hand. TLS rolls to the ropes, using them to get to his feet. PerZag rolls over, trying to get up...he exposes his right hand on the mat. TLS runs forward and tries to stomp on it, but PerZag pulls his hand away!! TLS misses, stomping onto the mat and jarring his leg. PerZag pops up and rushes TLS from behind, he tries to hoist him onto his shoulders for Sexy Neutraliser (Torture Rack)!!! But, his hand can’t do it!! He drops TLS and stumbles back, holding his right hand in pain~

Smith: PerZag can’t grip TLS. That right hand is too broken...too damaged.

Hood: TLS playing chess while these other fuckers are playing tiddly winks.

Smith: TIDDLY WINKS

Hood: Sounds meaner than Checkers. Plus, RIP.

~TLS turns around and he grabs the wounded PerZag...he tries to take him over with his dreaded SMALL PACKAGE...but PerZag rolls through and pops back to his feet! TLS struggles to his and he eats a SPEAR the minute he stands!!! The spear is so impactful it turns TLS inside out as he flips around and lands front first on the mat!!! The fans outside go wild!!! PerZag tends to his hand for a moment before returning to his feet~

Smith: What a spear!

Hood: He just gutted TLS!

Smith: Unbelievable momentum and force...my gosh, these two are laying it all out there.

~With PerZag tending to his hand and TLS down, we return to Plethora and TIO. TIO finally feels as though Puff received ‘the message’. He turns and goes back after Plethora. He grabs Plethora by the hood and pulls him off the mat...he struggles, but he gets Plethora on his feet. He kicks Plethora in the lower abdomen, doubling the big man over. He pulls him forward...the crowd rises with an ‘oh shit no way’ vibe~

Smith: No way. He can’t hit this...IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

Hood: When you’ve got that much cocaine and anger and vengeance running through your body...nothing is impossible, Smith.

Smith: He’s going to try and lift Plethora up and end him with ‘This Damn Incredible’!!!

Hood: Let’s make a memory, TIO!

~TIO is definitely going to do just that. He tries to hoist Plethora up...but, Plethora rises up on his own and he tosses TIO up and over onto the mat with a back body drop!!! TIO this hard, reaching for his back in pain. The fans all sigh with a ‘yea, I figured that might happen’ sense of disappointment~

Hood: Okay, turns out that was, in fact, impossible.

Smith: That could turn out to be a fatal mistake, Hood.

Hood: Yikes! Don’t use words like FATAL when Plethora is wrestling.

~TIO is down. Plethora is on his feet, but still reeling from all the damage. So, we return to PerZag and TLS. PerZag, using his good hand, pulls TLS off the mat. He boots him in the gut and doubles the former Ascension Champion over. He hooks his arms around TLS’ waist~

Smith: PerZag is going to try to put TLS down with Worthiest Move of All!

Hood: Yea, but can his hand, ya know, HANDle it?

Smith: Excellent question.

~PerZag tries to lift TLS up...but he can’t! His hand, again, gives out...the pain is too much. He stumbles back, dropping TLS. TLS lands on one knee. He rises and charges at PerZag, clotheslining him over the top rope and to the outside!!! PerZag’s body crashes onto the extended mat. TLS steps through the ropes, moving with as much focus and drive as we can remember. He pulls PerZag up and whips him into the rock wall...PerZag hits hard. TLS lunges forward with a knee into PerZag’s gut~

Smith: TLS moving with vicious efficiency. They’re nearing the end game and he’s not going to lose focus.

Hood: Yep and with PerZag having, basically ONE hand...he can sense, he can smell, even through that mask, the next tier.

Smith: Indeed.

~TLS grabs PerZag by the head and he tries to crush the back of his skull into the ropes. But, PerZag extends his left hand and he pushes TLS off...he uses it to keep TLS from executing his move. The strength in PerZag is incredible. He finally lets go and TLS’ momentum sends him front first into the wall, after PerZag moves. TLS stumbles back, dazed. PerZag runs at him, he leaps up, wraps his legs around TLS’ head, spins around and takes them both back into the ring with a hurricanrana!!!! The fans outside go ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!’ TLS’ body slides across the ring, into the center. PerZag pops to one knee, fired up, holding his right hand~

Smith: What a move! What an athlete!

Hood: Geezus.

Smith: He’s got one finisher left he hasn’t used and, guess what...IT DOESN’T REQUIRE HIS HAND.

Hood: Oh, how convenient.

~PerZag leaps, flat footed from the mat onto the top rope. He spins around, facing TLS. The fans watching are in awe at how athletic the Craze Champion is. He waits for TLS to get up...TLS does...TLS stumbles around the ring. PerZag spins around and he leaps off with a standing moonsault~

Smith: PURE BEAUTY!!!

~PerZag comes down...but TLS moves!!! PerZag’s legs land, hard!! He stumbles...TLS darts in front of him, pulls him over and hooks him with a SMALL PACKAGE! Scruff dives in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PERZAG HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. THE LOST STRANGER WILL NOW ADVANCE INTO TIER 6 OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

Smith: Unbelievable! PerZag only had one way to win that match, TLS knew it...TLS avoided it and TLS used it to eke out a victory.

Hood: Fuckin hell. That was intense.

Smith: The amazing run by TLS continues as he’s ONE TIER AWAY from competing for the OCW Title.

~PerZag can’t believe it! He leans against the bottom rope, holding his hand, furious over the miscalculation. TLS slowly rises in the center of the ring, holding his midsection from the earlier spear...he’s looking a little worn down. PerZag shakes his head, sick. The owl people emerge and surround him. The Knife Man is there, checking on his hand. PerZag rips his hand away and stands, exiting the ring. He looks over at TLS and let’s him know that this isn’t finished. He storms off, without his Craze Title~

Smith: PerZag was the only singles champion who chose to risk it all by entering. And, sadly, it didn’t pay off...but his courage will be rewarded, I’d imagine.

Hood: Oh, no doubt. OCW always rewards the ones who fight without fear.

Smith: Indeed. And now, TLS has the Craze Championship.

Hood: Welcome back to the Champion’s Winner Circle, TLS. It’s been awhile.

~Scruff hands TLS the Craze Title. He looks at it and slings it over his shoulder. But, we’re not done...nope...we quickly shift to the chamber next door. Plethora is pulling TIO to his feet~

Smith: TLS moves on. Now, we’ll find out who he faces...will it be Plethora or will it be The Incredible One?

Hood: No idea. I do know this tier has been rad, though.

Smith: Yes, it has been radical.

~TIO reaches his feet and he fights Plethora off. He rises up with rights and lefts, pummeling Plethora. Plethora leans back, teetering once again...technically, he’s yet to be knocked off his feet. TIO rushes into the ropes, he bounces off and flies forward with a Superman Punch!!! Plethora falls over!!! He hits the mat with tremendous force!! Everybody goes wild!!~

Smith: TIO just took Plethora off his feet!

Hood: He can’t pick him up so...what’s he gonna do?

Smith: We might see TIO look to the sky. His very rare but very devastating Shooting Star Press.

Hood: Shit...PerZag tried flying and, well, he fell.

Smith: It is a risk, as all high risk maneuvers are, Hood.

~TIO hurries through the ropes and to the corner. He starts to climb. As he does, he hears the wall move. He pauses, confused. But, he stays focused. Plethora won’t be down for long~

Smith: Why is the wall making that sound?

Hood: I don’t know...sounds like someone is entering.

~TIO reaches the top...he looks down at Plethora. He bends his knees, about to jump when a hand thrusts forward and knocks him from the top!!! TIO falls down, getting crotched atop the corner!! The fans outside BOO!!! A man wearing a hood over his head enters the ring~

Smith: A hooded figure!

Hood: Is that Plethora’s young son?

Smith: NO! It’s a person who wishes to remain anonymous. They just are both wearing hoods and, well, anybody would look tiny in comparison to Plethora.

Hood: Well, who the fuck is it?

Smith: I don’t know!

~The mysterious figure yanks TIO off the top, kicks him in the gut, hooks him, picks him up, turns around and drills him into the mat with This Damn Incredible!!! TIO is out!!! The figure looks down and yells at TIO, “Remember Me?!” He stomps on TIO before exiting and heading back into the wall...the door shuts on him. But, the damage is done. TIO is down~

Smith: Whoever that was...he has history with TIO.

Hood: That voice was very fuckin familiar.

Smith: I know. It sounded like...nah, I don’t want to say.

Hood: BITCH...NAME NAMES

~Plethora rolls over...he sees TIO down...he crawls that way and flops his giant body on top of him. Puff drops down with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!

~The bell rings. The fans outside are still booing~

Belvedere: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE INCREDIBLE ONE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. PLETHORA WILL NOW ASCEND INTO TIER 6.

~TIO is unconscious. The owl people enter and have to pick him up and carry him out. It’s a good thing, too...because hell hath no fury like a TIO scorned~

Smith: TIO had the win in the palm of his hand only for an enemy from his past to emerge and cost him his shot at reclaiming the OCW Title.

Hood: When you win Feud of the month like, a thousand times...you’ve got a lot of enemies.

Smith: Indeed. But this one is very personal, I believe. If that voice belongs to the person I think it does.

Hood: TELL ME

Belvedere: BY SURVIVING TIER 5, THESE TWO COMPETITORS HAVE EARNED AN OCW TITLE SHOT. THEY MAY KEEP WHAT THEY’VE EARNED TO THIS POINT OR THEY MAY CONTINUE ON.

Smith: Okay, so TLS has a Craze, TransAtlantic, Savage, and OCW Title shot. PLUS, he gets to ‘Own’ a PPV.

Hood: And Plethora has, like half of that shit.

Smith: Mhm.

~Again, Plethora gets no option. No rep wants to get murdered. His he exits the ring through the ropes, struggling to get through. He leaves some blood behind, making it obvious he’s a wounded beast. TLS is offered the opt out...all those prizes. So much to lose~

Smith: Fortune favors the bold but, my gosh. TLS has earned a title shot for the next six months, basically.

Hood: Does he let it ride?

~TLS slaps the opt out form away and turns, heading for the lift to take him to Tier 6. The fans go WILD!!! “TLS! TLS!”~

Smith: It sounds like TLS is emerging as a favorite.

Hood: Who wouldn’t like to see him win it all? It’d be one of the greatest moments in OCW history and, fuck it, I’m here for it!

Smith: Amazing that of the five wrestlers who were booked to skip the first two tiers...four of them failed to advance a single tier.

Hood: That is pretty fuckin wild.

~The lifts move upward. Our view follows, leaving the fifth tier. We reach the sixth tier...one chamber. A wide chamber. The lifts stop. Hovering just above this chamber is immortality...it’s the king of OCW...it’s Outcast and his OCW Title. But first...a battle to the death (NOT LITERALLY) for the right to face him~

Smith: TLS versus Plethora. Not the way I envisioned it...but that kinda makes it more exciting.

Hood: I’m hyped.

~A door opens and TLS steps out. He looks at the widest chamber he’s wrestled in so far...some room to breathe. He steps into the ring and waits as the wall across from him begins to reveal his competitor~

Smith: And, again, TLS has no idea who’s behind that door.

Hood: Well, he knows it isn’t any of the guys he’s defeated.

Smith: True. But, as far as he knows...it could be Alice. It could be El Knuckle. It could even be BALD.

Hood: I’m pretty sure he knows it isn’t BALD.

~The doors open and...darkness. Until a massive, hulking figure lumbers its way out of the darkness and into the fire lit room. It’s PLETHORA. TLS’ breathing picks up. He knew this would be tough...but his worst fears are being realized. Fucking Plethora is his opponent~

Smith: And here we go.

Hood: Good luck, TLS.

~TLS doesn’t waste any time. He sprints across the ring and jumps up onto the top rope...he springboards off and somersaults onto the air, coming down onto Plethora with a plancha!!! Plethora stumbles back into the wall. TLS lands on the extended mat outside the ring...he hits pretty hard, but he pulls himself up. He jumps onto the middle rope, he springboards off, spins around and he smacks Plethora in the face with a springboard, roundhouse kick!!! Plethora crashes back into the wall of the chamber. Scruff is outside the ring, keeping an eye on the action~

Smith: TLS is turning into a high flyer!

Hood: Doing what he thinks he has to to defeat Plethora.

Smith: I gotta say, he’s very cerebral tonight. Very intelligent.

Hood: What? You thought he was some kind of idiot?

Smith: I guess I underestimated him

Hood: You and every other person he’s eliminated tonight.

~TLS runs into the ropes...he bounces off, outside the ring...he springs forward and flies through the air, blasting Plethora in the head in the face with a flying forearm!!! Plethora’s head SLAMS into the rock wall. He drops to one knee. The fans outside go crazy~

Smith: He’s doing it! He’s taking Plethora down!

Hood: Yea man he’s kicking B, err...umm.

Smith: You okay?

Hood: Yea, I just about called Plethora, well, you know.

Smith: Yea, I’ve almost done that several times this evening.

~TLS heads back to the ropes...he steps into the ring...he runs across the ring, he bounces off, he jumps up, he springboards off the top rope and he flies out of the ring with a dropkick into Plethora’s head!!! Again, the back of Plethora's head smacks into the rock wall!!! This time, he falls over!!! TLS hits hard after the drop kick, landing outside the extended mat and onto the rock surface. He stays down~

Smith: Tremendous offense and strategy by TLS...but that rock wall has taken its toll on him.

Hood: Can he pin Plethora out there?

Smith: Yes. The ring is merely there to, I guess, give these wrestlers more options, in terms of moves and strategy.

Hood: Also to keep them from all killing themselves.

Smith: That too.

~TLS sits up...he’s holding his midsection and also favoring his shoulder. He tries to pin Plethora, but Plethora throws him off. The giant beast tries to get back to his feet, more than a little frustrated by the constant onslaught of aerial moves. TLS tumbles back onto the safety of the extended mat...he sees Plethora reaching one knee. TLS slides into the ring...he grabs onto the top rope...he jumps up, springboards off and comes down with a leg drop across the back of Plethora’s head!!! He drives Plethora’s face into the rock surface!!! Plethora is down!!! The fans go wild! TLS rips and grabs at Plethora, trying to pull the beast onto his back~

Smith: Plethora is down! TLS might have done it! Me might have slayed the beast!

Hood: He jumped all over him, man. Didn’t give Plethora a chance...smart.

Smith: He’s just got to get him over. A task that has proven to be difficult for every one of Plethora’s opponents so far.

~TLS finally gets Plethora onto his back and goes for a pin. Scruff dives in with the count~

1!

2!

NOOOO!!!

~Plethora grabs TLS and he throws him into the wall!! TLS flies through the air, his back SLAMMING into the rock wall. The fans on the outside all wince. Plethora remains down. TLS hits the ground, rolling around...that impact is gonna slow him down a bit~

Smith: Now that’s called kicking out with emphasis.

Hood: He tossed TLS like TLS owed him money for a bunch of chicken sandwiches.

~Both men are slow to recover. Plethora slowly sits up...incredible ab muscles, even if they are hidden under miles and miles of blubber. TLS rolls and gets to all fours. He looks over, spotting Plethora seated up. He can’t let the big man get back up. TLS fights through the pain and gets to his feet. Plethora gets to one knee. TLS hurries for the ring...he gets inside and sprints across, bouncing off the ropes...he charges toward Plethora. Plethora gets to his feet...TLS jumps up and springboards off the top rope...but Plethora catches him on his shoulders!!! Plethora slings TLS around for an F-5 and just throws him into the ring!!! TLS soars high and crashes down, center of the ring~

Smith: Unbelievable strength. Simply unbelievable.

Hood: Yea, but now he’s got to fit through those ropes.

Smith: That has been a struggle at select times during this match.

~Plethora looks at the ropes. If we could see his face we’d probably see narrow eyes with flames of HATE flaring within. He takes a few steps back before charging forward~

Smith: What’s he doing?

Hood: He’s not gonna try a springboard, is he??

Smith: No way.

~Plethora jumps as high as he can...which isn’t very. But, it’s high enough as his body comes crashing down into the ropes!!! His massive weight snaps all three ropes, tearing them down!!! He flops onto the mat, the ropes destroyed. The fans outside cheer because, well, destruction is cool~

Smith: He just took out the ropes with a belly flop!

Hood: Hey, that’s smart. Now TLS can’t fly around.

Smith: Exactly.

~Plethora grabs one of the ropes and returns to his feet. He drags it behind him, heading for TLS. TLS crawls away, reaching for the ropes for support...but he finds they aren’t there...he looks around and sees the ropes on the mat...with one MOVING. He turns around and sees Plethora standing over him with rope in his hand. He kicks at Plethora’s knee, trying to injure him. It works, momentarily! Plethora stumbles back, favoring his right knee. TLS gets to his feet and he backs up until he hits the wall. Plethora recovers and goes after him with the rope~

Smith: There’s nowhere to hide. No ropes to double as an advantage as well as safety.

Hood: Yep and Plethora looks like he’s itching to murder someone. It’s been a minute.

Smith: Several, actually.

~Plethora marches toward TLS. TLS darts out of the way and ducks Plethora’s attempted grasp. He stumbles back into the ring. Plethora spins around, coming back at him. TLS reaches for one of the ropes...he grabs the same rope Plethora is holding...he looks up and realizes he’s just accidentally challenged Plethora to Tug o War~

Smith: It’s Squid Games all over again!

Hood: Walk toward him, TLS! Get him off his feet!

Smith: You think he watched Squid Games?

Hood: Of course he did...he’s not a LOSER

~TLS tries to pull back...Plethora yanks the rope in his direction and TLS loses his entire base and flies toward Plethora. Plethora finally gets his hands on TLS...he spins him around and wraps the rope around this throat and tightens!!! TLS reaches out, gasping for air!! The fans outside THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS scream and yell for TLS to break out! Scruff watches on...he can’t do anything~

Smith: He’s going to kill TLS!

Hood: It’s been one hell of a run. 20 years off and on in OCW...that’s longer than most...way longer.

Smith: Scruff, call for the bell! Save the man!

~TLS drops to one knee...it’s hopeless. Scruff still sees life in TLS, so he can’t end the match. Plethora tightens his grip...TLS leans forward, reaching for something, anything~

Smith: TLS is down to his last gasp.

Hood: He flew too close to the sun tonight, Smith. Now, he’s burning up!

~Rock slides against rock. Scruff turns around. Plethora looks up. TLS continues to reach out. A small door opens and a figure emerges~

Smith: Is that Welsh coming to save TLS from death?

Hood: Haha, yea right.

~The figure springs forward into the ring and SUPERKICKS Plethora in the face!!! The fans go wild!!! Plethora releases the rope and stumbles back against the opposite wall. Inside the ring we see...ZYBALA! He’s back!!~

Smith: It’s Mike! He’s back!

Hood: What the fuck? Has he been hiding up there this whole time?

Smith: I don’t know. I’d just like to know if he’s still active.

~We cut to Welsh who is outside the pyramid, cheering with everyone else. Belvedere asks him the question. Welsh nods~

Marcus Welsh: HELL YES HE’S STILL IN THE MATCH! LET’S GOOOOOO MIKE!

~OCW rejoices! Mike Zybala is still in this thing!~

Smith: I’m being told it is official...Mike is still in the match. First person to score a victory moves on.

Hood: Thanks for the clarification. Poblano’s off shitting himself right now.

Smith: Yep.

Hood: Meanwhile, with all this insanity going on, Outcast is just chilling one floor up, waiting on the winner who will probably have one eye, a quarter of his blood remaining, and twelve Grade A concussions.

Smith: I can’t rule that scenario out, unfortunately.

~Zybala fires off a SUPERKICK! And another SUPERKICK! And a third SUPERKICK!!! All into the head of Plethora. Plethora leans against the wall, dropping his rope. But, he hasn’t gone down. Mike stares at the behemoth in awe. He turns and drops to his knee, helping TLS~

Smith: Mike realizes they need to work together if they are going to advance.

Hood: But only one can move on.

Smith: Yea, but neither of them are moving on with Plethora roaming within the chamber.

~TLS shoves Zybala away. He rubs his neck and coughs, returning to his feet. Zybala tries to explain the situation to him. TLS looks up and sees Plethora recovering. Zybala yells, ‘I KICKED HIM FOUR TIMES! FOUR TIMES!! HE ISN’T HUMAN!’ Plethora’s face finds them...he heads their way, picking up his rope. TLS looks at Zybala and nods, slightly~

Smith: I think they are gonna team up to slay the beast!

Hood: Good luck.

~Zybala rushes forward with a fifth SUPERKICK!! But, Plethora dives his meaty shoulder forward and blasts right through it, sending Zybala crashing into the mat. TLS runs up and throws a knee lift, but Plethora thrusts his other shoulder forward, knocking TLS out of the way and to the mat. He stands in the center of the ring, a near unbeatable force. He locates TLS and heads for him, looking to finish the job with his rope~

Smith: Plethora doesn’t like to leave a victim unmurdered.

Hood: Evidently not

~He reaches for TLS with his rope...but Zybala jumps on Plethora’s back!!! Plethora straightens up! Zybala locks in a sleeper...Plethora stumbles around, trying to get Zybala off of him. TLS pops back to his feet and he runs forward with a dropkick into Plethora’s knee, taking the big man down to one knee. Zybala elbows Plethora’s head a few times, increasing the damage. TLS rips the rope out of Plethora’s hand. He gets Zybala’s attention. Zybala lets Plethora go...he grabs the other end of the rope...they step back and they run forward, clothesling Plethora onto his back with the rope!!! Plethora lands, HARD!! The entire GREAT ILLUMINATUS shakes!!! The fans outside go wild~

Smith: Plethora is down!

Hood: Teamwork is awesome until those dudes realize they can’t BOTH win.

Smith: That could become a problem very soon.

~Zybala tries to cover Plethora...but TLS rips him off Plethora. Zybala tries to explain the situation to TLS. He NEEDS to win. TLS finds this all ridiculous and kinda selfish. So, he slugs Zybala in the head! The fans boo!! Zybala fires back with a punch of his own! The alliance is broken! Zybala and TLS battle it out with Plethora on the mat~

Smith: And there goes the alliance.

Hood: RIP The Lost Zybalas. It was fun while it lasted.

~Zybala throws a clothesline...TLS ducks! Zybala spins around and TLS tries to take him over with his small package of DEATH. Zybala fights it off. TLS stumbles back. Zybala fires up and he throws a SUPERKICK!!! TLS barely dodges the impact. He grabs Zybala from behind and applies a Full Nelson!! He’s about to pick him up when Plethora rises, back to his feet. Zybala is like, “LET ME GO SO WE CAN STOP HIM!” TLS picks Zybala up and Zybala kicks his legs up into the air, smacking Plethora in the face!! Plethora is stunned...Zybala wraps his legs around Plethora’s head...TLS lets Zybala go. Zybala pulls himself up and he punches Plethora in the head...he leans over and bites down, through the hood!! Plethora stumbles around, in obvious pain. He reaches up to grab Zybala...but Zybala dives over his head and tries to take him over with a Sunset Flip...but ya know, that’s not happening. Plethora looks down at Zybala’s head between his legs and he jumps up to squash him. Zybala moves! Plethora lands flat on his ass!! TLS runs forward and knees him in the face!!! Plethora collapses to his side. TLS rolls him onto his back and goes for the pin!!! Scruff dives in~

1!

2!

3!!

NO!!!

ZYBALA BREAKS IT UP

Smith: Zybala just cost, for the moment, TLS a spot in the final tier!

Hood: Ouch...that’s gonna piss TLS off.

~TLS shoves Zybala away, furious. Zybala, again, tries to explain that it’s his destiny to win...HE MUST WIN. TLS is sick of hearing this shit. He grabs Zybala by the air and headbutts him!!! Zybala stumbles off the mat and onto the rock...his back leaning up against the rock wall. TLS goes after him...he pummels Zybala’s midsection with rights and lefts. Zybala doubles over. TLS hooks him by the gut and slings him over and back into the ring with a Gut Wrench Suplex!!! Zybala hits hard! He stays down, wincing...he looks over and sees Plethora laying next to him...so he scrambles, trying to get away~

Smith: I think TLS might want to destroy Zybala more than he wants to beat Plethora.

Hood: Seriously. I get where Zybala is coming from but to TLS it’s got to sound super arrogant. “Hey, listen, my destiny is more important than yours, sorry pal.”

Smith: No doubt.

~Zybala returns to his feet but as he does, TLS wraps his hands around his throat. Zybala chokes...he tries to get TLS off of him...but TLS’ grip is too strong. Zybala sees Plethora rising out of the corner of his eye, he tries to warn TLS. Tries to get him refocused on keeping the big man down~

Smith: He’s choking the spirit out of Zybala...meanwhile, Plethora is rising back up.

Hood: Maybe they’ve done enough damage. Maybe he can beat Plethora without Zybala.

Smith: I mean, Plethora has lost before. Not often. But he has.

~Zybala punches TLS in the shoulder and guts out “PLETHORA IS COMING.” TLS looks over and sees Plethora on his feet. He lets Zybala go, begrudgingly. Together, they run forward and hit Plethora with a double clothesline!!! The big man staggers back. They hit him again...he staggers back once more. They do this three more times...Plethora’s feet stumble onto the rock platform. Zybala’s eyes light up~

Smith: If Plethora falls and hits his head on those rocks...that might be enough to keep him down, for good.

Hood: It’s worth a fuckin shot.

~Zybala’s leg nearest TLS (left) twitches. He raises it, slightly. TLS sees this and turns around, grabbing Zybala~

Smith: What the…

Hood: TLS thought Zybala was about to SUPERKICK him. He doesn’t trust Mike, especially after all that DESTINY talk.

~Zybala tries to break free. But, he can’t. Plethora rushes forward...he grabs both men and picks them up. They try to break free, but they can’t...he drives them both into the mat with a Rock Bottom, each!!! His weight crushes them into the mat. He keeps his arms on their chest...Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: MIKE ZYBALA AND THE LOST STRANGER HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED. PLETHORA WILL ADVANCE TO TIER 7. THE FINAL TIER OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS.

~The fans BOOOOOOO~

Smith: Dang it! The alliance fell apart...there was no trust and Plethora took advantage.

Hood: Fuck. What a run though, huh?

Smith: Unbelievable run by TLS and Zybala. I think both men are here to stay as far as the main event scene goes.

Hood: Seconded.

~Plethora rises and heads for his exit. The owl people surround Zybala and TLS. TLS is up first...he looks down at Zybala, disgusted. He sees his Craze Title, handed to Plethora. He also sees Plethora being given the Paradigm Championship~

Smith: So close, Hood. TLS was so close to having BOTH those belts AND all those title shots with an OCW Title shot moments away.

Hood: When you let it ride, heartbreak is a bad beat away.

~Zybala gets to his feet. He looks at TLS and says, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE?” TLS tells Zybala to fuck off. The two men go after each other...but the owl people keep them separated. TLS is taken into a compartment. Zybala is forced into a separate compartment...he tries to fight free, yelling “NO! NOOO!” But the owl people aggressively usher him into a separate area~

Smith: Where are they taking Zybala? That’s not the same exit spot we’ve seen everyone else leave through...he should be with TLS!

Hood: I don’t know, but I bet it ain’t good.

~With TLS and Zybala gone, we’re left with just Plethora. He’s not given the option to opt out. Instead, doors open and he enters~

Smith: And now Plethora will ascend. He’s got an OCW Title shot. He can ‘own’ a ppv. He’s got a Savage Title shot. And, he’s got the Craze and Paradigm Titles. It’s all on the line as he looks to defeat Outcast for the OCW Championship.

Hood: So if he loses he leaves with nothing.

Smith: Correct.

Hood: If Outcast wins?

Smith: Outcast can only leave with what he brought...his OCW Title. The Craze and Paradigm Titles will return to ‘vacant’ status.

Hood: Gotcha.

~Our view shifts to the final Tier. It’s dark. It’s brooding. Candlelight keeps it barely lit. Seated in the center of the ring, in a throne is OCW’s king – Outcast. He’s leaning, sloppily in the throne, watching the door that’s about to open. The OCW Title is draped across his lap. A crown leans atop his head. His dangerous, steady gaze awaits the wrestler who survived all the rest. The wrestler that will look to knock him from his throne~

Smith: And there he is, Hood. OCW’s King.

Hood: Who do you think HE thinks it is?

Smith: No clue.

Hood: Who do you think he HOPES it is?

Smith: Again, no idea. But I’d wager Plethora is pretty far down that list.

Hood: Same.

~The door slides open. Outcast doesn’t move. He just watches. The door is open. A figure emerges...it steps into the candlelight and, finally, Outcast sees his challenge. It’s PLETHORA~

Smith: And now, he knows.

~Outcast lets out a quiet ‘fuck’.~

Hood: Yep, he didn’t want to catch Plethora. Nobody does.

~Plethora has the Paradigm and Craze Titles over his shoulders. Outcast stands, crown atop his head, OCW Title in his grasp...he slings it over his shoulder. Plethora steps down on the middle rope, creating enough room for his body to easily slide through. He enters and approaches Outcast. Outcast doesn’t back down...the two men stare at each other...the fans outside go crazy. It’s about TO GO DOWN~

Smith: That’s a lot of gold in there.

Hood: Yea, three championships. A king defending his crown against a former tyrant.

Smith: Indeed.

~Outcast slowly removes his crowd. He tosses it into the cushioned seat of his throne. He carefully slides the OCW Title off his shoulder and tosses that into his throne seat as well. He looks up at Plethora. Plethora nods and slowly removes both of his belts~

Smith: I think these two men are going to duke it out, the old fashioned way. Find out who the better fighter...the better wrestler is.

~Plethora takes both his belts and he SMASHES them into Outcast’s head!!! Outcast stumbles back, into his throne!! The fans boooo~

Hood: Yea, or Plethora could just try and crack his skull like an egg with his two belts.

Smith: Dang you! Dang you, Plethora!

~Plethora tosses his two belts out of the ring...they fly and slam into the wall of the chamber. He approaches Outcast, who’s had his bell rung (obviously). He grabs him by the throat and lifts him out of his throne. He holds him high into the air...Outcast kicks his legs, trying to get free. Plethora throws Outcast back down, into his throne! It doesn’t break! Instead, he lands, roughly back into the throne, part of his tailbone hitting the wooden arm. The throne falls back with Outcast inside, rolling backwards, coming to rest on the mat. His crown rolls away, coming to rest at Plethora’s feet. Plethora steps on the crown, crushing it under his foot~

Smith: The only wrestler to halfway get how to fight Plethora was TLS.

Hood: People see that big fucker and they want to get in his face. That’s not how you do it.

Smith: El Knuckle held his own, too

Hood: El Knuckle kicked EL ASS

~Plethora picks up Outcast’s throne. The OCW Title falls from it and hits the mat. Outcast tries to get up but Plethora smashes the throne over Outcast’s back!! It shatters from the impact. Plethora tosses what’s left of the throne out of the ring. He then finds the OCW Title, picking up and looking at it~

Smith: That was once his.

Hood: Allegedly!

Smith: Please. He hasn’t held that title in twenty years.

Hood: He’s holding it right now.

Smith: You know what I mean!

~Outcast tries to get to his feet...but that throne shot was ROUGH. He gets to all fours and looks up at Plethora...Plethora brings the OCW Title crashing down into Outcast’s head, flattening him out. The fans outside BOOOO. Plethora looks at the OCW title...there’s already blood on it. He unfolds it and reaches back...he starts to whip Outcast with the strap!! Outcast’s exposed back takes the brunt of the punishment! WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! Outcast flails around, trying to get away...his back reddening with welts~

Smith: This is a beating, Hood. And, unlike TLS, Outcast won’t have any help.

Hood: Some people think Outcast is a weak champion. A transitional champion bridging the gap from one era to the next. Maybe they’re right.

Smith: I can’t believe that. I won’t believe that!

~Plethora whips Outcast with one more shot. Outcast rolls away, under the bottom rope and to the outside. Plethora tosses the belt out of the ring. He reaches through the ropes, grabbing Outcast and pulling him to his feet. We get a shot of the champion’s back...it’s already cut and bleeding. Plethora hooks Outcast and hoists him up...he holds him into the air before bringing him down on the mat with a delayed suplex!!! Outcast lands HARD! He arches his back, leaving a spot of blood on the mat. Plethora slowly returns to his feet~

Smith: Outcast needs to switch the momentum in this...and it needs to happen quick.

Hood: Man, once an avalanche begins, which is about the amount of force you get when Plethora starts rolling downhill, there’s NO WAY to stop it.

Smith: It’s going to be tough but if anybody can do it, it’s the OCW Champion.

~Outcast rolls onto all fours, his forehead pressed into the mat. Plethora sees Outcast’s back and, probably, displays excitement in his murderous eyes. Pupils dilated with devastation, he dives in and grabs at Outcast’s back, trying to rip those wounds open. Outcast sense what Plethora is doing, so he quickly rolls away, back outside the ring. Plethora remains on his knees, watching Outcast...most definitely disappointed he didn’t get to partially flay the OCW Champion’s back with his bare hands~

Smith: Whew, that was a close call.

Hood: Yea, I’m not sure Outcast could recover from being partially skinned alive. I mean, he’s a tough dude...but, ya know.

Smith: Yes, I know.

~Plethora heads for the ropes...he reaches out to grab Outcast. He pulls the OCW Champion to his feet...Outcast grabs Plethora by the back of the head and drops to his knees, slamming Plethora’s throat over the top rope!! Plethora stumbles back. Outcast rushes into the ring. He pops to his feet and he nails Plethora with a European uppercut...and another one...but Plethora barely moves. Outcast backs into the ropes...he fires off and throws everything he’s got into a third European Uppercut...but Plethora grabs him, spins him around, hooks him and SLAMS him into the mat with a Full Nelson Slam!!!! The entire chamber shakes. Outcast is down~

Smith: I don’t think anybody could win a fist fight against Plethora.

Hood: Matt Meyhu could.

Smith: Yea, well he’s not here.

Hood: Why you gotta say such hurtful things?

~Plethora’s massive hand reaches down, gripping Outcast around the throat. He pulls him off the mat and hoists him into the air. Outcast looks down into the black void that is Plethora’s face. He sees the harsh, blue eyes...he tries to reach for them, but can’t. Plethora slings Outcast into the mat with tremendous force!!! Outcast tries to sit up...but he falls back onto the mat and goes still. Plethora heads over and places his giant foot on the chest of the OCW Champion. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: Outcast isn’t done yet!

Hood: Man, Plethora was straight up trying to eviscerate Outcast’s legacy. Like, really? A foot on the chest? Savage.

Smith: There is no respect that resides within Plethora. No sportsmanship. It’s all about greed and gluttony and malice.

Hood: So THAT’s the secret to success.

~Plethora grabs Outcast by his hair and rips him off the mat...he slings him into the nearest corner. Outcast slams hard. He hasn’t been tossed around like this since the night he lost his virginity to BIG RHONDA. Plethora charges in and squashes Outcast in the corner. He steps back...Outcast stumbles his way. Plethora kicks him in the gut...he hooks him, hoists him up and leaps into the air dropping Outcast on his head with a jumping piledriver!!!! The entire ring and chamber shake!! Plethora places his hand on Outcast’s chest. Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

3...NO!

KICK OUT!

Smith: Outcast kicks out again!

Hood: Dude has a death wish. Pack it up, bro! Live to fight another day!

Smith: Even if he doesn’t win, he’s at least showing us all that he has the heart of a champion.

Hood: Which is worth fuckin nothing.

~Plethora returns to his feet. Outcast remains down. Plethora grabs him by the throat with both hands, yanking him to his feet...he hooks his arm under Outcast’s arms, lifts him up high, spins around and SLAMS him into the mat with a Rock Bottom!!!! This HAS to be it. Plethora, this time, covers Outcast with his body. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

3!!

NO!

SHOULDER UP!!

Smith: Outcast isn’t done yet!

Hood: Those moves put down El Knuckle, TLS, AND Zybala. Yet, there Outcast is...back all fucked up. Beaten within an inch of his life...kicking the fuck out.

Smith: I’ll just go ahead and say it...he’s the TOUGHEST OCW Champion we’ve ever had.

Hood: I’m starting to believe it.

~Plethora returns to his feet. He grabs a handful of Outcast’s hair and drags him into a corner. He pulls him up. Plethora sits on the top buckle...the entire corner bends and nearly breaks. He picks up Outcast and leaps off with a jumping spike piledriver from the second rope!!!! The ring nearly collapses under the pressure!!! Outcast’s body goes stiff as he falls over, onto his back. Plethora crawls over and hooks both legs...Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

3!!!

Smith: And Plethora has…

NO!!!

SHOULDER UP

Hood: GEEZUS

Smith: Outcast is STILL alive

~Plethora gets to his knees. He looks at Scruff. He looks down at Outcast. He hooked BOTH legs. He actually TRIED to keep the guy from kicking out after devastating him with move after move after move. He gets up and he paces around~

Smith: Look! Plethora, for the first time tonight, looks concerned.

Hood: Yea, that composure...that steel like EQUANIMITY he’s had all night is gone.

Smith: It’s like he’s facing the boss of a video game and has realized he doesn’t know how to defeat it.

Hood: Calm down, nerd.

~Outcast rolls over. He crawls toward Plethora like an undead enemy. Plethora looks down and boots Outcast in the face. He picks the OCW Champion up and slings him out of the ring, through the ropes. Outcast’s body slams on the extended mat. Plethora turns, staring at the OCW Champion, trying to figure out what it will take to keep him down. He heads that way...he tries to grab Outcast from over the top rope, but can’t. So, he gets to his knees and reaches through the ropes. Outcast, however, reaches out and hooks the back of Plethora’s head!! He pulls it against the ropes in a clinch! He’s on his ass...so he starts to lift knees into Plethora’s face as the big man is trapped across the ropes and in this clinch~

Smith: Outcast is fighting back!! He’s got Plethora stuck!

Hood: That’s the weirdest clinch I’ve ever seen...but, hey, when in the Pyramid do as the Pyramidians do!

Smith: Sure.

~Blood starts to drip from the black void that is Plethora’s face. Outcast has been unrelenting with his knees. He finally stops, once he notices a red puddle underneath his legs~

Hood: Man, if Outcast were a woman I’d swear he’s on the rag.

Smith: Gross! He’s aggravated the facial injuries Plethora sustained against TIO! Plethora seems to be in serious trouble.

~Outcast lets Plethora go...questionable move? We’ll find out. Plethora lays there, blood continuing to slowly leak from his face, onto the mat outside the ring. His huge arms dangle lifelessly over the middle rope. Outcast kicks him in the side of the head. He runs forward and knees him in the head as hard as he can. Plethora doesn’t move all that much, he just absorbs the blow. Outcast heads for a corner...he climbs, reaching the top. He jumps off with a double foot stomp onto the back of Plethora’s head!!! The fans go wild!!!~

Smith: OD! Outcast just hit OD onto the back of Plethora’s head!

Hood: Okay, GREAT. Now he’s got to figure out how to pint he big son of a bitch.

Smith: That he does.

~Outcast leans against the rock wall...he runs forward and throws a kick into Plethora’s head!!! Plethora’s body falls back into the ring!! The fans go wild. Outcast hops through the ropes and dives on top of Plethora for the pin!! Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

NOOOOOO

~Plethora tosses Outcast like six feet into the air. So high he lands on his feet. He stumbles into a corner, shocked~

Smith: WHOA

Hood: Okay, yea, he ain’t done.

~Plethora remains on his back. Outcast heads for him but stops. Instead, he heads outside the ring. He snares his OCW Title...he locates the Paradigm Title. He grabs the Craze Title. He tosses all three titles under the bottom buckle in a corner. He bends over and picks up the wooden arm that once helped comprise his throne. He steps into the ring and watches Plethora~

Smith: So many wrestlers have assumed Plethora was down when he was just fine. The minute they approached him, he rose up and got his hands on them.

Hood: Outcast is definitely playing this smart. If Plethora gets his hands on you, the match could be over real quick.

Smith: Indeed.

~Plethora finally starts to move. He rolls over and gets to one knee. Outcast runs forward and smashes the wooden piece of throne chair into Plethora’s head!!! Plethora falls to his side, bracing himself with his left arm. Outcast brings the wooden arm up high and crashing down at Plethora...but Plethora rises!!! He rises to his feet and he snares Outcast by the throat with both hands!!! Outcast drops the piece of wood. Plethora carries Outcast toward a corner and tosses him onto the top buckle. Outcast leans backward, nearly tumbling out of the ring. Plethora turns around and hooks Outcast across his shoulders...he walks into the center of the ring and drops Outcast with a SAMOAN DROP!!! Everything shakes!!! Plethora rolls over and, again, hooks both legs. Scruff slides in with the count~

1!

2!

NO! SHOULDER UP!

Smith: Wow, once again Outcast escapes defeat!

Hood: Yea, but Plethora took a straight shot to the face from a thick ass piece of wood and barely flinched.

Smith: Right now I’d have to give the advantage to Plethora.

Hood: Well no shit, dumbass. He nearly scored a three count! Let me guess, you’ll finally decide to pull for the winner moments after they win, is that correct, Nostradamus?

Smith: Leave me alone.

~Plethora returns to his feet and he stomps on Outcast out of frustration. He pulls Outcast up and drills him with a forearm shot. Outcast spins around from the impact but, as he does, he hits Plethora in the head with a hook kick!!! Plethora is stunned...his head has got to be fucked up. Outcast, pulling a page out of Zybala’s playbook, throws a SUPERKICK!!!! Plethora leans into the ropes...Outcast charges and flies through the air...but Plethora ducks lifts Outcast out of the ring and all the way into the rock wall!!! Outcast slams HARD!!! His body crashes onto the rock floor. He groans, barely moving. The fans outside sigh...again, it ain’t looking good~

Smith: And, well, Outcast might have some dislocated vertebrae after that one.

Hood: He got fuckin LAUNCHED

Smith: I know he’s tough but at some point, even Outcast will break.

~Plethora steps on the middle rope, creating room to get out of the ring. He slips out and heads for Outcast. Outcast tries to get away but he’s moving too slow, his body is too wrecked. Plethora pulls him up and he slings him into the wall...Outcast crashes HARD. Plethora then places both feet on Outcast’s back and he stands on him, with the rock surface underneath. Outcast yells out in immense pain, trying and failing to get away~

Smith: Ouch. That right there is enough to collapse a lung. Break more than a few ribs.

Hood: Veronica’s gonna need a new sugar daddy, Smith. Who do you think she goes after? It won’t be Plethora...he’d probably kill her rather than fuck her.

Smith: Let’s not ‘Dewey defeats Truman’ this thing yet. Outcast is the champion until he’s not.

Hood: I didn’t know one of Donald’s nephews nearly became president.

~Plethora takes the weight off. He kicks Outcast in the ribs really hard. Outcast flips over, onto his back. He’s groaning and writhing around in pain. Plethora steps on his chest, hard. Scruff drops in with the count~

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: Our first pin attempt outside the ring, I believe. Shocked it took this long.

Hood: People are creatures of habit, Smith.

~Plethora pulls Outcast to his feet. He slams him into the rock wall. Outcast spits into Plethora’s face...or the void where his face should be. Plethora pie faces Outcast...his head slamming into the rock. His knees go weak...he nearly falls. Plethora holds him up. Plethora spins Outcast around and gets him into position for a jumping spike piledriver onto the rock surface. The fans outside yell NO NO NO!!!! Scruff is like “Well, that’s gonna suck.” Plethora hoists Outcast up...but Outcast jumps up, using the momentum to get his legs around Plethora’s head!! He leans forward and bites Plethora in the face!!! Plethora stumbles around. Outcast leans back and he throws Plethora toward the ring with a hurricanrana!!! Plethora’s body stumbles into the ropes!!! He falls across the middle rope, dropping to his knees. The fans are both relieved and excited~

Smith: Outcast not only averted defeat and definite death...but he managed to pull off a hurricanrana on Plethora!

Hood: Outcast MIGHT be a zombie. I’m just saying.

~Outcast crawls into the corner where he placed the belts. He grabs the Craze Title. He places it under Plethora’s head, which hangs inside the ring, over the middle rope. Outcast hurries back into the corner and climbs to the top. He looks down and he leaps off with OD!!! Plethora moves!!! Outcast’s feet land right on the Craze Title!!! He rolls around, holding his knees in pain. Plethora crawls into the ring and tosses the Craze Title back up against one of the walls~

Smith: Outcast was trying to hit OD by kicking Plethora’s FACE into that title.

Hood: I mean, that’s not a bad though. He just didn’t pull it off.

~Outcast tries to crawl away from Plethora...he finds the corner with the belts and reaches for and grabs the Paradigm Title. Plethora yanks him back into the center of the ring. Outcast turns around with the Paradigm Title...Plethora throws a punch, but his fist hits the belt plate!! He stumbles back, holding his hand in pain. Outcast gets to his feet...he lays the title down, face up. He jumps on top of Plethora and hooks his head...he tries for a swinging DDT onto the belt but Plethora throws him up into the air!!! Outcast soars into the air and comes crashing down onto the belt!!! He rolls around, holding his midsection in pain~

Smith: Well, that plan didn’t work.

Hood: None of his plans are working. Only shit that works is whenever he reacts to something Plethora does.

Smith: Might not be a bad strategy.

Hood: Yea, but, I mean, is there enough functioning gray matter in that scrambled head of his to realize that?

~Outcast crawls for the corner with the belts. There’s one left, it’s the OCW Title. He reaches for it, but Plethora pulls him out of the corner. Plethora grabs both of Outcast’s legs for a sling shot or an airplane spin. But, Outcast sits up and jams his fingers into Plethora’s face as hard as he can. Plethora is stunned...Outcast’s back hits the mat, he reaches over his head, under the corner. Plethora holds on to Outcast’s legs. He pulls Outcast back up...Outcast sits up and he’s got the OCW Title in his grasp..he BLASTS Plethora in the head with it!!!! Plethora drops to his ass. Outcast stands up...he looks down at the beast and curses him before lunging forward with a homerun shot via the OCW Title!!!! Plethora flattens out!!! Outcast jumps on top of him for a pin...Scruff slides in~

1!

2!

3!!!!

NO!!!

SHOULDER UP

Smith: Oh my GOSH

Hood: Okay so we’ve got a zombie and the blob. Two monsters that can’t be killed.

Smith: I thought for sure a shot with the OCW Title...TWO SHOTS would do it! Plethora’s head has already been battered severely.

Hood: Nope. Gonna need MOAR

~Outcast falls onto his back, the OCW Title strewn out behind him...his right hand holding on to the edge of the strap. He’s exhausted...he’s bleeding...he’s in pain...and he’s incredulous! That should have been it! He sits up and struggles to his feet, holding the OCW Title. Plethora is on one knee...Outcast slings the strap at Plethora, it wraps around and smacks him in the head. This doesn’t have the desired effect. It pissed Plethora off. He rises to his feet and charges at Outcast!!!! Outcast puts his hands up but Plethora engulfs him and slams him into a corner!!! Plethora mauls Outcast in the corner...he yanks the title away and drapes it over the pole connecting the top buckle to the ring post. He grabs Outcast by the hair, drags him away from the corner and punches him in the face over and over until Outcast collapses to the mat~

Smith: Yea, that belt swipe or slap or whatever just pissed Plethora off.

Hood: Man, you ever been slapped with something? FUCKIN HURTS

Smith: I try to avoid physical confrontation, Hood.

Hood: Well, you’ve got the right job.

~Plethora snares Outcast with both hands, picking him up off the mat by his hair and pants...he slings Outcast like a bag of trash, head first into a corner...Outcast hits HARD!!! He remains there, slumped front first in the corner, breathing heavily, blood staining his back. Plethora sees Outcast’s back and he rakes his hands down it!!! Outcast yells out, flipping over, turning his back from Plethora. Plethora places his feet in Outcast’s chest and he puts all his weight on him, in the corner~

Smith: Plethora is torturing the man at this point.

Hood: Hey, it’s Outcast’s fault. He should have just handed Plethora the belt the minute he walked in there and left to go play dick in a box with Veronica.

Smith: But…

Hood: ‘But that’s not what champions do’, right? Fuckin idiots! All of them!

~Plethora yanks Outcast up and hoists him into the air...he drills him into the corner with a powerbomb. Outcast’s arms hang over the top rope...he leans forward. Plethora hoists him up onto the top buckle~

Smith: What’s Plethora got planned here?

Hood: Something Perilous, I’d imagine.

Smith: Very funny

~Plethora pushes Outcast back. The OCW Champion lays all the way back on the top buckle...Plethora slaps the shit out of his chest with a massive, heavy hand!!! The fans outside grimace. Outcast eats the pain, closing his eyes, refusing to yell. Plethora hits him again...and again Outcast defies the logic of pain tolerance, remaining quiet. Plethora stares at Outcast~

Smith: I think Plethora is annoyed that Outcast isn’t reacting to those slaps.

Hood: You saying he gets off on pain?

Smith: Well, I mean, I think when you murder hundreds of people it’s pretty safe to say you enjoy hurting others so...yea.

~Plethora steps onto the bottom rope...it bends under his tremendous weight...it nearly snaps. He loses his balance for a moment. The back of Outcast’s head feels something metal and sharp behind him...he reaches behind him and grabs THE OCW TITLE. He brings it around and sits up, smacking Plethora in the face with it!!! The fans outside go wild!!! Plethora drops down to the mat, stunned. He moves back toward Outcast and Outcast hits him with it again~

Smith: Outcast is using that belt as a weapon...again!

Hood: Second verse is gonna be same as the first.

~Plethora staggers back again. Outcast takes the OCW Title and puts his feet behind the face plate...Plethora heads his way and Outcast kicks the front of the belt into Plethora’s face using both legs!!!! Plethora spins around and drops to all fours. Outcast hurries, getting to his feet. Plethora stares down at the mat, right into the metal of the Paradigm Title~

Smith: Outcast has a shot!

Hood: No fuckin way

~Outcast leaps off with the OCW Title...he brings his legs up and places the belt under his feet...he comes down with a double foot stomp (OD) onto the back of Plethora’s head!!! The OCW Title smashes into the back of Plethora’s head sending his face CRASHING into the Paradigm Championship!!!! Plethora is down!!! Outcast crawls over and uses everything he has left to roll Plethora onto his back...he makes the cover...Scruff slides in...the fans all count along~

1!

2!

3!!!!!!!

~The bell rings~

Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...THE WINNER OF THE PYRAMID SCHEME MATCH...THE SURVIVOR OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS...AND STILL OCW CHAMPION...OUTCAST!!!!!

Smith: He did it!! He did it!

Hood: I can’t fuckin believe it. He took Plethora down.

Smith: He used EVERYTHING he had. Without those belts, it might have been different.

Hood: WOULD have been different, Smith. Not to mention Plethora had to fight like fifteen hundred Hall of Famers before he reached Outcast.

Smith: A bit of an exaggeration.

~Outcast rolls out of the ring, clutching his OCW Title. Plethora is tended to by The Knife Man and several other medics. Outcast pulls himself up, he looks around...he’s ready to get the fuck out of there~

Smith: Yea, I don’t think Outcast wants to stick around.

Hood: For good reason...he’s locked inside a chamber with the most dangerous human that ever lived.

~Outcast calls Knife Man and Scruff over. They step through the ropes...he puts his arms around them. They escort him to a wall. A door opens and they step in, exiting. Owl people step into the chamber...they enter the ring along with the medics. They all look down at Plethora~

Smith: Is Plethora okay?

Hood: I’d get the fuck away from him if I were all those weirdos.

~Suddenly, the blue eyes of Plethora shoot out from within the dark hole that is his face. He rises to his feet. The owl people and medics scream as we cut away from the final chamber~

Smith: Thoughts and prayers to the family members of whoever was in that Tier with Plethora.

Hood: Yea I’d say more but I’m fuckin exhausted.

Smith: Same...well, Outcast wanted to prove that he’s one of the best OCW Champions of all time and he did just that. He survived THE GREAT ILLUMINATUS. And now, he’ll face Chad Vargas at Luck of the Violent.

Hood: No rest for the Proud and Strong.

Smith: So much to unwrap and digest after what we just witnessed. And, we’ll get to that next week at Massacre! Thanks for joining us for this historic event!

Hood: Had a fuckin blast. We need to do this every year.

Smith: Yea, that’s IF we’re open this time next year.

Hood: CLASSIC OCW, BABY

Smith: Good night everyone and stay safe!

~We slowly fade out on an epic shot of the GREAT ILLUMINATUS~