This is the portion of our programming where some nameless narrator will pontificate about what’s at stake and how big the upcoming matches are.
Sadly, that is not the case this week.
Our old narrator has abandoned us. For some reason, he values safety and life over the massive pile of cash he stands to earn by doing his fuckin job.
Oh well, whatever. He’s gone so fuck him.
Let’s cold open Night 4.
Hold on to your taints.
~And just like that we are taken aboard the Aircraft Carrier rented out by TRIAD for tonight’s event. The steel beast manufactured to endure all sorts of treachery. The perfect vessel to penetrate The Devil’s Triangle. And no, that is not a euphemism for conquering Vhodka Black OR Sarah Wolf. We are chartering unfamiliar waters. Stepping into a realm most dare not entertain let alone experience. This requires the very best money can buy in terms of safety and protection~
Voice: Alright, gentleman, it looks like we’re just about set up.
~A robust, male specimen is our target. Thick, cut jaw line with that perfect five o’clock shadow. This man looks like he chops down trees with his hand during the day and slays vampires at night. A beast. Standing opposite are the TRIAD engineers...PIC, TLS, and Welsh. PIC is carrying a steel brief case. He opens it up and looks inside...it shines. TLS looks in, getting a glimpse, nodding. Welsh tries to get close but they both shoulder him back. They shut it and hand it over~
PIC: Payment for your services.
TLS: You just make sure you keep everyone safe. The fans, the wrestlers...even this guy back here.
~He throws a nod Welsh’s way. PIC agrees~
PIC: So patrol the skies. The seas. Whatever you need to do. You got that, Titus?
~Geezus, his name is Titus. Everything about this man screams ‘better than you.’~
Titus: Noted, chief. In all my years of service I ain’t ever laid eyes on something I couldn’t handle. I get tired of people running around, acting all scared over ghost stories. We’ll keep an eye out and my men here, the best muscle money can by, will make sure you’re all safe from the real dangers...wind, rain, lightning, sea sickness. Cause there ain’t no ghosts. Not in the real world.
~TLS and PIC share a look. They split, each patting Titus on his massive arm. Welsh steps forward~
Marcus Welsh: You mind if I get another look inside that…
~Titus rips the brief case away from Marcus and places a hand that feels like it weights 50lbs into his chest~
Titus: You keep your distance. The other two told me about you. I may be a mercenary but I value my word and integrity. When I take a job I see it through. So, I’m here to protect everyone aboard this ship, which includes you. You just leave me and my men alone otherwise we might be tempted to stuff you inside a locker for the remainder of the trip.
~Welsh swallows hard. Titus is a very serious man and definitely the type who would stuff a smaller man in a locker to establish dominance~
Titus: Alright men, let’s get to our stations! We got a show about to start and these people need our vigilance! Keep an eye out for anything suspicious! Let’s go! MOVE IT! GO! GO! GO!
~All the ex military mercenaries take off. They hop in ex military fighter jets. The jets fire up and hit the runway, blasting past Welsh. He covers his ears, his hair tossed and twisted in every direction. The jets soar past him, into the sky. Other mercenaries are lowered down into boats surrounding the giant aircraft carrier...they fire them up and take off, patrolling the seas. This just leaves the ex military mercenaries on board, standing near the edge, binoculars, taking stock of any and everything that’s going on~
Titus: All clear?
Mercenary: MAN OVERBOARD!
Titus: WHAT? Not on Titus’ watch!
~Everyone scrambles to the east side of the Aircraft Carrier. Our view, via drone footage, we assume, shifts that way, zooming in. Titus is shoulder to shoulder with his look out. He takes the binoculars~
Titus: Let me see!
~Via the magic of cinema we get to look through the binoculars with Titus. The view is all out of focus...he adjusts. It starts to come into focus. A giant yellow thing out in the ocean...something on top of the yellow thing. It’s blurry. Less blurry. Less blurry. Finally we’re into focus~
Titus: Son of a bitch.
~With a clear view we see a giant, inflatable rubber duck with GLUM riding on the back of it. He’s sporting a pirate hat. Slowly, he extends both arms, tilts his head back and shuts his eyes, embracing the Triangle and whatever death it chooses to throw down onto him~
Titus: Not today, clown!
~Titus pulls out his phone and activates a local drone. It swoops down, he grabs onto it with one arm, flexing his massive bicep as the drone takes him out to sea, toward Glum. The drone lowers and Titus snatches Glum with one arm, plucking him from the water...they turn around and head back to the Aircraft Carrier~
Welsh: Oh, come on...you don’t have to do all this. Just let him…
~Welsh watches on in horror as Titus saves Glum from certain death, flying back toward the Aircraft Carrier and dropping him right next to Marcus. Glum’s rubber ducky lets out a high pitched squeal as some air is forced out from the impact. Glum slowly turns and looks up at Welsh. Welsh tries to ignore him. He can’t take it...he turns and looks down at Glum. Glum releases his signature sigh~
Welsh: FUCK IT
~Welsh storms off as we pull back and look out toward the horizon, deep into the unknown...deep into THE DEVIL’S TRIANGLE as the TRIAD logo is displayed and this week’s show begins to air~
~And with that we return to the Aircraft Carrier as the TRIAD ring is situated on deck! Hundreds of die hard TRIAD fans are in attendance...we don’t know how much they spent to be here but let’s just say it was probably at or around ‘their parents life savings’. They are the types you'd expect to write wrestling manifestos about how the game should be played. Wearing nothing but TRIAD merch. Some are even dressed like their favorite wrestlers. They chant all the cliched wrestling chants. And, well, we can’t blame them for being excited...this is the first time they’ve left the house in years. Too bad there’s a better than average chance they are all gonna die. “TRIAD! TRIAD! TRIAD!” chants fill the air with Belvedere standing proud and stoic in the ring...this man, even in the face of danger, remains professional. Three fighter jets approach in the distance, screaming through the air, breaking all kinds of natural barriers...they blow right over the scene, leaving three smoke trails...pink, white, and blue...as they do, the turnbuckles shoot off pyro as the ring apron drops revealing the TRIAD logo!!! The die hards go crazy!!!!~
MoMo: Hello again everyone and welcome to Night 4 of the Bravery Trials! I’m your host, MoMo and back alongside me is Leo!
Leo: Hey!
MoMo: Welcome back, Leo and, personally, I’m sorry for everything you seemed to have gone through these past few weeks.
Leo: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
MoMo: We all deal with things in our own manner and timeframe so I respect what you’ve got going on. When and if you want to talk about it, you let me know.
Leo: All I have to say is this: Go Team Welsh.
MoMo: Well, okay then. Fans, despite warnings from locals, experts, and nature itself we have continued our mission to attain the elusive, perhaps even ‘mythical’ TRIAD. Tales of a Ghost Ship containing 1/3 of the TRIAD have drawn our attention out here. We are vulnerable. We are at the mercy of nature’s capricious whims.
Leo: Feels like paradise compared to a certain Hotel in California.
MoMo: I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.
Leo: Nevermind. I’m fine. Keep going.
MoMo: Tonight we’ll find out the other 2/3’s of our Ghost Ship main event equation. Vhodka has already secured a spot in the match. Her opponents will come from a pool of Knox/Cortes/Penelope and Thad/Stratford/Wolf. Two of those six will face her in the main event on September 10th.
Leo: And let’s just state...we are HOPING, for some reason, that this show will take place on the Ghost Ship. The thing has to actually exist and cross our path for this to even be a thing.
MoMo: If not, we’ll hold the event on this Aircraft Carrier which we are going to go ahead and call the SS TRIAD.
Leo: Makes sense.
MoMo: As for the rest of the field they will all be vying to put their team in the lead. Tonight is the final night of positioning. When we’re done this evening our lineup will be set for September 10th. Four triple threat matches pitting the three 4th place finishes against each other, the three 3rd place finishers against each other, the three 2nd place finishers against each other and, of course, the three team division winners against each other for a piece of the TRIAD.
Leo: This entire mess is straightening itself out...like untangling a bunch of video game cords...for those who played video games in the 90s...and 80s.
MoMo: And so...you might be asking, how will we decide it all? Well, via the four amazing matches we have scheduled! Our first match features the man who main evented the first two nights, LCP as he takes on the hottest competitor in TRIAD, Sarah Wolf...and the third member of that equation is the most popular wrestler in TRIAD, some would say, Lachlan Kane.
Leo: LCP is really hit or miss. He either gets pinned or wins the match.
MoMo: I feel a big bounce back from him tonight. I’d almost predict a win if it weren’t for Sarah Wolf. She did what some thought was impossible last week when she managed to defeat both Knox AND Vhodka. A win that suddenly puts her in rarefied air. In one moment she went from afterthought to a real threat to unite the TRIAD.
Leo: If she hadn’t got off to such a slow start she’d be the favorite to win Team Welsh, I think. Ah well, if only she’d have listened to the advice we were giving her from the start.
MoMo: You know she’s out first. I’d keep your voice down. And then there’s Lachlan Kane. Kane has scored in two of his three matches...but he’s yet to really ‘break through’ like Wolf did one week ago or like LCP did on Night 2. Kane’s also been dealing with some personal demons...showing glimpses that something dark and sinister underneath is seeking to take the wheel.
Leo: These Trials are brutal and they will test a person physically, emotionally, psychologically...a break is not something I’d call out of the realm of possibility. And, hey, maybe that’s just what Kane needs to get that elusive win.
MoMo: Kane and LCP are eliminated from winning their divisions. But, they can score crucial points for their teams. Wolf still has a shot to win Team Welsh...it’s a long one, but it does exist. To stay alive she MUST win the opener.
Leo: Considering she’s the favorite, in many people’s eyes, I’d say there’s a good shot.
MoMo: Our second match is a big one. Two of the most equitable names in pro wrestling finally do battle as Thaddeus Duke and Matthew Knox square off. But don’t forget about the third member of this equation...MERICA. How often have we seen two wrestlers so consumed with one another that the third party steals the win?
Leo: Happens all the fuckin time. But it ain’t happening to Thad.
MoMo: Knox, like Wolf, can tie Cortes. But he MUST win this match. Something that’s been a struggle for him since Night 1 when he crossed paths with Stratford. Ever since, Knox has been plagued by the Stratford family...consumed with guilt, grief, frustration, and fury. It’s, in some ways, taken precedent over the task at hand.
Leo: You remove the Stratford’s from this competition and you’re very likely looking at Knox leading Team PIC instead of Cortes.
MoMo: Yep. Last week he finally bit back when he sent a dangerous message to Stephen and Demi. A message that he ‘could’ if he so desired...could destroy their union in an irredeemable manner.
Leo: They won’t take that lying down, I can assure you of that.
MoMo: And, as fate would have it, despite them turning into mortal enemies, Stratford NEEDS Knox to succeed tonight. He NEEDS Knox to triumph over Thad.
Leo: Crazy.
MoMo: But that’ll be no easy task. Thad has been tracking as a top 4 competitor these entire trials. He’s led Team Welsh from the jump. Tonight he looks to finish the job and move his sights to the main event on September 10th...but, to do so, he’ll likely need to pin either Knox or MERICA.
Leo: He might get by with one point but, man oh man, you really don’t want to get outta that one with less than two. Leaves too much up to chance.
MoMo: Knox has wanted to face Thad for so long and tonight he could take from Thad what he desires most in these competitions, a shot at the TRIAD. However, if Knox beats Thad, he helps Stratford.
Leo: I think Knox should just lay down for Thad.
MoMo: And then there’s MERICA. Nobody is talking about MERICA. And that’s probably just the way MERICA wants it. He entered Night 3 with some very real momentum...a lot of talk that he might upset Stratford and be a legit player to win Team TLS. It was not to be, however, as he suffered the pinfall, just like Night 1 and appeared to take a step back.
Leo: Yep and Chet Dakota was not happy.
MoMo: He was not. He made his displeasure known loud and clear to everyone watching...something that upset and hurt MERICA, deeply. The question now is how does MERICA respond?
Leo: In the face of failure and adversity you can either quit or you can learn and improve. If Chet Dakota has it his way, MERICA will come out of the gates throwing bows. I expect more Night 2 MERICA than Night 3’s version.
MoMo: It would be the most shocking of upsets if MERICA were able to pull this off but we are in a strange area and mythical things are said to exist all around so...maybe, just maybe MERICA throws a wrench into everything and scores two huge points for Team TLS.
Leo: Hey, nobody thought we’d win whatever war that was against England for independence so, yea, there’s historical evidence it can happen.
MoMo: Which brings us to our third match this evening and, to me, this one is the most fascinating. Cause it’s a match without any clear cut ‘favorite’ or storyline threatening to override the in-ring action. It’s just three competitors looking to give it their all in an effort to score points for themselves and their team.
Leo: Yea, that’s one way to put it.
MoMo: We’ll start with Penelope who has been arguably the most intimidating wrestler throughout these Trials. An unstoppable force who has managed to earn a point in every, single match. Despite that, they’ve yet to win.
Leo: Consistent, for sure. It’s got them in position to potentially tie Cortes.
MoMo: Yep, like Knox, Penelope can tie Cortes..but she HAS to have a win in this one to have any chance at doing so.
Leo: She’s gotta be the favorite, so...like with Wolf, there’s a good shot.
MoMo: Helena Handbasket might be her biggest obstacle. She had the most memorable Night 1 of anyone in TRIAD...even if the memories weren’t great. Since then she’s been forced to dig deep within herself to discover some uncomfortable issues and, through it all, she managed to emerge in Night 3’s main event victorious, earning a much, much needed two points for her team.
Leo: It was a heart warming win for everyone. And, even if she can’t win Team TLS, she can continue fighting to get her team in position to win the Trials.
MoMo: She’s got the most momentum heading into this match, for sure. Which brings us to Alexander Raven...tough luck Raven, some might call him. Could’ve won Night 1. Should’ve won Night 2. Almost won Night 3...but here he sits, the lone competitor with zero points.
Leo: OG is struggling. But he’s getting it together. He’s gonna hit his stride.
MoMo: Is tonight the night? Does he finally break through and begin the magical run that leads him all the way to the TRIAD?
Leo: It’s gotta start somewhere.
MoMo: He’s had a rough week. He endured a taxing, dramatic experience so his stamina could be in question.
Leo: Nah, he’s got this. OG is ready.
MoMo: Which leads us to our main event. It all started nearly two months ago...Draft Night. Over twenty had enlisted...only 12 were to be selected. The elite of the elite. Mock drafts were posted...who would be the #1 picks?
Leo: I remember it like it was June 22nd.
MoMo: That first pick came in and it surprised the uninformed...Stephen Stratford.
Leo: Then came the one everyone EXPECTED to go first...Vhodka Black
MoMo: And the final #1 pick proved to be a great one when Team PIC chose Catalina Cortes
Leo: Say what you want about the competitors but they were all worthy...Vhodka has clinched. Cortes is one point away from doing the same and Stratford is currently tied for the lead.
MoMo: Stratford NEEDS this one the most. Cortes just wants one point to slam the door shut on Knox and Penelope. Vhodka, on the other hand...a total wild card.
Leo: She’s got her team to worry about but...how much of that is a legit factor? Is she a team player or is she in this for other reasons?
MoMo: She’s got history with Stratford. Lots and lots of history. How will that play into this? Does she want to do everything she can to keep him out of the September 10th Main Event or will she help him get what he desires?
Leo: A legit question, for sure.
MoMo: And what about Catalina’s knee? Thad was able to hand her a loss on Night 3 by focusing on the knee and injuring it. How much has it healed? Is it 100%? Will Stratford and Vhodka look to test it?
Leo: They should...tear that thing apart so she’s useless on the Ghost Ship.
MoMo: Tonight it all becomes clear. The jockeying comes to an end and we get our final positions set for the ultimate event in these Trials on September 10th. So, go take a violent piss...grab a beverage of your choice and get cozy...the in-ring action begins NEXT!
THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE MAY BE DISTURBING FOR SOME VIEWERS
~The footage starts with a slight shake before Cat Cortes lifts the camera in a high angle selfie showing the entirety of Team PIC bolting from where she and Knox had been held captive. Cat is leading the charge, Penny on her heels, a disheveled and blood covered Lachlan in third and the old man bringing up the rear. The group come to a rental car which Cat threw the door open before a voice rang out.~
Matt Knox: Tanks shot!
~The group's eyes follow a line of bullet holes in the side of the car to what the Raven saw, gasoline puddling beneath the Toyota. The approaching shouts cause the group to move deeper into the compound now and luckily to a parking area.~
Lachlan Kane: Search them for keys!
Cat Cortes: I can’t drive. I got to catch this footage!
Penelope: I admire your zeal Miss Cortes but this feels like an all hands on deck moment.
~The four begin feverishly searching the cars, leaning into open windows and peering in through closed ones. Eventually the Raven’s voice rings out with laughter.~
Matt Knox: Got one! And I'm even qualified to drive it.
~The three turn to find Knox wearing a cheeser standing by what was likely a stolen police car. The four pile in, Knox wasting no time in firing the crown vic up and peeling out just as more TAINTS showed up.~
Cat Cortes: Car Chase! GTA Online IRL Stream! Be sure to hit that subscribe button for more wicked Team PIC cont–
Lachlan Kane: This hardly seems like the ti-
~Lachlan’s words were cut off by the ping of more rounds lighting up the Cop Car, however everyone's luck seemed to hold. Cat focused the camera on their pursuers, whistling in awe.~
Cat Cortes: Those are some angry looking taints.
~Knox snorts, Lach looks bemused and twitchy while Penelope looks decidedly calm for all the murder and mayhem.~
Penelope: Perhaps you should drive faster.
Matt Knox: Perhaps you should ret–
Cat Cortes: Dude! Watch the bad words! Twitch ToS
~Knox grunts in frustration while whipping the Crown Vic onto a highway and laying into the gas, the pursuers still hot on their trail even as Penelope reaches forth to turn the lights on and clear traffic.~
Matt Knox: Maybe you should return the FAVORS they’re sending at us using the PARTY FAVOR DISTRIBUTOR in the Trunk if one of you is small enough to crawl back there after the seat’s folded!
Penelope: Cop Cars rear seats don’t fold down!
~Cat Cortes moves the cameras to Penelope’s face.~
Cat Cortes: Criminal history, eh? Intere–
~She’s cut off by Lachlan Kane suddenly violently tearing one half of the back of the rear seats free, leaving a clear path to the trunk. Penelope is quick to scamper in. Knox’s hand reaches out, placing a big palm over the lens.~
Matt Knox: Might be time to resign that Saria’s song so your twitch channel doesn’t get shut down from the uh..party favors.
~The Acapella of Cat Cortes does little to cover up the carnage but the viewers at home are spared as Knox’s hand stayed on the lens until the screeching of brakes and tires rang above all else.~
Matt Knox: BOAT!
Lachlan Kane: That’s a bar!
Matt Knox: It floats and it has sails! Steal the fucker, take a hostage who can sail! I’ll keep these assholes distracted and catch up!
Cat Cortes: Oh wow, heroic sacrifice, what a story arc!!
Matt Knox: GO!
~The three pile out, Cat keeping the camera on Knox as he peels out in the cop car. Soon a couple of the cars containing TAINTS speed by after him, ignorant of the three members that just ditched the ride.~
Cat Cortes: Alright Triad nerds, we’re about to steal this sick ass pirate ship and bar! We’ll see you on the aircraft carrier or who knows maybe we’ll get lost and I'll marry a Volleyball. Either way, Vhodka smells! Like, Share, Subscribe!!
~We cut to an aerial view of Knox leading the TAINT members away. He floors it as he passes a sign for the airport as the scene fades to black and back to the live feed~
MoMo: Knox showing that he’s a true team leader.
Leo: Oh he’s just doing it to try and impress the female fans watching so he can knock out a few more kids before his baby goo expires.
MoMo: Gross.
Leo: I’m just saying.
MoMo: Team PIC has been through it. It looks as though they’ll make for tonight’s event.
Leo: FUCK
MoMo: Or, well...three of them. Still not sure how Knox is going to get here.
Leo: He probably chickened out.
MoMo: I doubt it. One way or another I expect we’ll see him. Alright, well it’s time to get started with the in-ring action! This first match is a big one.
Leo: They’re all big, man. It’s TRIAD!
MoMo: Sarah Wolf might be the hottest wrestler in TRIAD. Last week she beat both Knox and Vhodka to earn 2 points. This week she opens the show looking to earn two more points to, for the moment, tie Stratford and Thad for the top of Team Welsh.
Leo: It all looked lost for Wolf after Night 2...and now, here we are, she’s got a chance to win the division.
MoMo: She stayed the course...figured it out and now she’s one of the best in TRIAD. If I were Vhodka and the members of Team PIC I would NOT want to catch her in that final on September 10th.
Leo: Amen.
MoMo: Her opponents tonight will be LC Pinkston and Lachlan Kane. Neither Pinkston nor Kane can win their division BUT...they can earn some much needed points because, as we’ve said, even if you can’t win the Trials you can still earn a spot in the Illuminatus if your team wins.
Leo: And, every single person that gets into the Illuminatus can unite the TRIAD.
MoMo: Exactly. Kane has placed in two matches. LCP has won one and been pinned in two...I’d say LCP has had, probably, the toughest schedule of anyone.
Leo: I can’t dispute that.
MoMo: Can Wolf win two in a row and tie the lead of Team Welsh? Will LCP get his second win of the Trials? OR, can Kane breakthrough and get his first win...let’s head down to ringside and find out!
DON'T SUE THE WHOLE TRIAD
JUST WELSH
Belvedere: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! OUR FIRST MATCH OF THE EVENING IS SCHEDULED FOR 1 FALL. INTRODUCING FIRST FROM WATERFORD, IRELAND. HE STANDS 5 FEET 11 INCHES, WEIGHING IN AT 13 AND A HALF STONES…… LACHLAN KANE!!!!!!
~“Demon” by Savage Hands plays over the PA system as Lachlan Kane appears on the balcony of one of the control towers. The fans at ringside cheer him loudly. Kane does some parkour shit, then hangs from a railing and jumps down. He completely ignores the fans who try and high five him as he makes his way to the ring. ~
MoMo: Kane looks focused tonight, his eyes are intense.
Leo: Focused isn’t the right word. He seems a bit off. Maybe being one of only 4 competitors still without a win in the Trials is getting to him.
~Kane stands in the ring waiting for his opponents to be announced. He is yelling obscenities at no one in particular. ~
Belvedere: AND THE NEXT PARTICIPANT IN THIS MATCH. FROM BROOKLYN NEW YORK, STANDING 5 FEET 6 INCHES WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS. SARAH!!!!DOLLFACE!!!!WOLF!!!!!
~“When I’m Queen” by Jackoff Jill plays as Sarah Wolf emerges from the crowd and slides into the ring. ~
Momo: Wolf looks all business tonight. Mathematically she still has a chance to make it to the finals.
Leo: I doubt that. She’d have to win tonight and both Thad and Stratford would have to lose. That would make it a 3 way tie for team Welsh.
Belvedere: And the final opponent in this match. FROM PLACENTIA, CALIFORNIA. STANDING 6 FEET 2 INCHES AND WEIGHING 195 POUNDS SOAKING WET. L!!!!!!C!!!!!!P!!!!!!
~The opening lyrics to Loco blare through the sound system. Wolf and Kane look around but LCP doesn’t show up anywhere. ~
Momo: Well I heard rumors LCP was going to skip this week.
Leo: From who?
Momo: I can’t reveal my sources.
Leo: Wait a minute Momo, what is that up there?
~The fans look up and cheer as a LCP is seen parachuting down onto the aircraft carrier. He tries to land in the ring but a strong gust of wind blows him back upwards and the parachute gets caught on one of the antennas of the control tower. The fans roar in excitement as LCP dangles from the parachute. He begins to sway his body to and fro gaining momentum with each swing. Eventually he swings far enough that he is about 10 feet from the ring. The fans shouts “DO IT!DO IT!DO IT”. And without hesitation, he presses the release button and sails in the air and lands dead center in the ring. The bell rings, and both Kane and Wolf, annoyed with his antics, pounce on him. ~
Momo: Not a good start for LCP as Kane and Wolf give him a beating.
Leo: For a minute there I thought he was going to be stuck up there forever.
~Wolf whips LCP against the ropes, he rebounds and ducks under a clothesline attempt by Wolf only to be hit with a dropkick by Kane. Kane looks at Wolf and puts his hand in the air for a high five. Wolf smirks and puts her hand up, only to kick Kane in the nuts. He doubles over in pain. Wolf grabs him by his hair, lifts him up and tosses him out over the ring. He lands on top of a bunch of fans and they crowdsurf him back toward the ring. ~
Meanwhile, LCP is up and blocks a punch attempt by Wolf. He sticks his tongue out, and flexes. Wolf attempts another punch, but this time LCP dodges it and does the “Mutombo finger wag.” Wolf is nonplussed by the act...LCP takes his finger after the ‘wag’ and sticks it in Wolf’s eye!! Wolf is stunned! LCP starts punching away at Wolf’s head over and over...the fans are going wild, cheering his crazy offense on~
MoMo: LCP’s on a roll!
Leo: Amazing what happens when he shows up on time for the right match.
~Wolf staggers back into a corner...LCP is a house of fire!!! The fans are going wild. He rears back and smacks Wolf in the jaw. He hops onto the middle buckle and starts punching...the fans count “1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7!...7...7…” they stop as LCP stops. LCP looks out at the crowd and stares at a fan. We cut shots to find the fan LCP is staring at...he’s wearing a XXXL ‘PIC’ t-shirt and is heading for the bathroom~
MoMo: Um…
Leo: The disrespect!
~LCP can’t believe it. He’s on a roll. It’s Night 4. He’s giving them a show! And this guy has to go to the bathroom like it’s a Marcus Welsh promo or something. The fans look back up at LCP eager for him to continue his offense. But, he folds his arms and says, “Nope, I’ll wait.”~
MoMo: I get it, LCP. You don’t want these fans to miss out on your amazing offense but, umm...that’s Sarah Wolf who’s face is inches from your crotch. You might wanna stay on the offensive.
Leo: He’s an artist, MoMo. A maestro! This idiot fan just got up in the middle of his performance. Such disrespect!
~They wait and wait and wait. Finally, the portopotty door opens and the massive fan comes waddling out clutching his big gulp. Toilet paper is stuck to his shoe...he waddles back into the fans and catches them all looking at him, shaking their heads. “What?” he asks. He then looks up at LCP, who is staring daggers at him. LCP extends his arms, “Well...may I continue?” The massive fan blushes and gives a quiet, silent nod while sucking loudly on his big gulp. LCP replies, “Thank you!” He then turns to a fan near ringside wearing a Shawn Warstein t-shirt, “Guy was going to miss the best part...nice shirt, by the way.” He then goes back to punching Wolf, “8! 9!” He rears back and slams a fist into Wolf’s head, “10!!!” LCP leaps off the second buckle and does some shadow boxing to a huge ovation~
MoMo: Well, okay then...it worked.
Leo: LCP the showman! Love this guy!
~LCP has a look on his face that says, “I’m in the zone!” He turns around and kicks Wolf in the gut, followed by a lariat that keeps Wolf in the corner. He backs up and charges at Wolf, leaping up for a corner splash, but Wolf moves out of the way. LCP’s chest lands hard on the turnbuckle. Wolf immediately grabs him and delivers a reverse ddt.
Kane runs up from behind and delivers a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick to the back of Sarah Wolf’s head that sends her stumbling towards the ropes. He follows it up by irish whipping her to the opposite corner. Kane then bends down to grab LCP, who pokes him in the eyes and rolls him up. The referee goes for the count. ~
1!!!!!
2!!!!!
KICK OUT!
Momo: LCP nearly pulled that out.
Leo: What do you know about his pull out game?
*awkward silence*
~LCP and Kane are back up on their feet. LCP says something to Kane and laughs. Kane, clearly annoyed, shoves him. LCP retaliates with a shove of his own. Kane shoves him again, this time he uses more force and sends LCP to the mat, his arms flailing. Before Kane can follow up the attack, Sarah Wolf comes running in and delivers a russian leg sweep on Lachlan Kane, and with her arm still around his neck, she rolls into a crossface submission. ~
Momo: Nice move by Wolf.
Leo: You never answered my question from earlier….
~The referee checks to see if Kane wants to submit, but he shakes his head. LCP uses the ropes to get back on his feet. He quickly delivers an elbow to the back of Wolf, causing her to release the hold. LCP goes for a submission of his own as he grabs Wolf’s feet and tries to flip her over for a Boston crab. Wolf counters by kicking vigorously which causes LCP to lose grip on one of her feet. With her other foot still under his arm, LCP leans back. ~
Momo: LCP manages to get Wolf into a single leg crag.
Leo: It looks more like a soft shell crab. I don’t think he’s pulling it off correctly.
Momo: What do you know about his pull off game?
Leo: The joke was funnier when I did it.
~Kane is up and delivers a superkick to LCP causing him to release his hold on Wolf's foot. Kane grabs LCP and tosses him outside. The crowd moves out of the way as LCP lands hard on the unforgiving floor. Kane turns his attention now to Sarah Wolf. The crowd chants his name as he drags her to the center of the ring. He runs towards the ropes and leaps back forward and connects with a springboard moonsault. Kane then hooks a leg and goes for the pin. ~
1!!!!
KICK OUT!
~Kane gets to his feet just before Sarah Wolf does and sizes her up. He runs forward and delivers a slingblade. The back of Wolf’s head bounces off the canvas. Kane with a little momentum now delivers some vicious kicks to Wolf’s chest. LCP is on his feet and makes his way back into the ring. ~
Momo: LCP pulls himself up by the ropes and into the ring. He was out for a while.
Leo: What do you know about his pull up game?
Momo: Oh will you just stop it with that.
~Kane has Wolf up and hooks her head under his arm and delivers a snap suplex. Kane kips up and is met with an elbow to the side of the head by LCP. He grabs Kane’s arm and then slowly climbs the turnbuckle. The ropes shake as LCP tries his best to keep balance, unfortunately he loses his balance and his nuts land on the ropes. LCP winces in pain, but he still has a hold of Kane’s hand. He pulls Kane in and grabs his head and falls off the ropes, delivering a ddt. ~
Momo: LCP is lucky he was able to pull Kane in before falling off the ropes.
Leo: (looks over at Momo and smiles) What do you know about his pull in game?
~With both LCP and Kane on the mat, Wolf is able to gather herself. She makes her way to LCP and delivers a quick elbow to his chest. She gets up quickly and now changes her attention to LCP. She delivers a falling elbow to his chest. Wolf grabs LCP’s arm and lays him on top of Kane. She then runs up the turnbuckle and throws 2 middle fingers in the air. Wolf leaps off the top rope and lands with a rib crushing splash on both men. She stays on top and motions for the ref. ~
1!!!!!
2!!!!!
3…
KICK OUT!!!!!!
Momo: Did you just see that? She nearly pinned both men.
Leo: How would have that scored? Would she get 4 points instead of 2?
~ Wolf lifts LCP up and body slams him right on top of Kane. She goes for the pin again.~
1!!!!
2!!!!
ROPE BREAK!!!
~ Kane has his foot on the rope. Wolf screams out in anger. She drags LCP off of Kane and stands him up. Wolf whips LCP into the corner. She then quickly stands Kane up and whips him into the corner. She charges at them and leaps forward with a shoulder tackle. Kane is able to move out of the way, but LCP receives it with full impact. He yells out “OWW BITCH!”.... Getting called a bitch only seems to Anger wolf more. She gets a fist full of LCP’s hair, then climbs the turnbuckle facing him. She then begins to reign down blows. The crowd counts.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!..
~Kane breaks it up by grabbing Wolf’s hair and slamming her into the canvas. LCP takes a rest in the corner and rubs his midsection, still feeling the effect of the previous move. Kane grabs an arm of Sarah Wolf, then delivers a leg drop. He gets back up to his feet, then leaps up and falls on top of Wolf with a senton splash. Kane looks over at LCP who gives him the finger. Kane returns it back, then drags Wolf into the center of the ring. Kane looks over at LCP again to check that he’s still there. He runs towards LCP, leaps into the air and delivers a hurricanrana that sends LCP on top of Wolf. Kane leaps up onto the top turnbuckle. He motions to the crowd who roar in anticipation, then leaps off and hits the LACH-DOWN!!! Right onto LCP’s hurt ribs. Kane lays on top of both competitors and goes for the pin. ~
1!!!!!
2!!!!!
SHOULDER UP!!!!!
Momo: How was Wolf able to get a shoulder up, with nearly 400 pounds on top of her?
Leo: I don’t know, but that was impressive.
~ Kane pulls LCP off of Wolf, and then kicks him in the ribs. LCP lets out another “Oww”... He turns his attention to Wolf now and grabs her up by her hair and stands her up. He goes for a kick to her stomach but Wolf spits some “black shit” onto his face. Kane is temporarily blinded by the black shit. He stumbles backwards and falls out of the ring. Wolf then looks over at LCP and hovers over him. She looks at the redness around the area of his midsection. LCP shakes his head no as Wolf delivers a swift kick.~
Momo: LCP may have a broken rib or two.
Leo: He’s in serious pain.
~ Wolf grabs both of LCP’s arms then puts her foot on his throat (some kind of hate). LCP screams in pain, this only makes Wolf tug harder on his arms. Kane meanwhile has managed to wipe some of the black shit off his face and slides back into the ring. Wolf sees him and releases her hold on LCP. Kane comes lunging forward with a spear attempt, but Wolf moves out of the way. Kane undeterred, charges at Wolf again, this time with a lariat. Wolf ducks under it. With black shit dripping from his face, Kane stares Wolf down, then motions for her to do a test of strength. Wolf instead kicks him in the nuts, and delivers a falling clothesline. Wolf follows that by grabbing his arm and hooking him into an armbar submission. The ref checks to see if he wants to submit, but Kane shakes him off. LCP gets up gingerly, still clutching his midsection. He attempts a soccer kick to the side of Wolf’s head but hits her shoulder instead. This causes her to release Kane from the armbar. LCP sort of shoves Wolf with his foot as she tries to stand up. He tries it again, but this time Wolf catches it and trips him. She crawls over and gets into a mounted position. Wolf starts to deliver hammerfists as LCP uses his arms to block the blows. He then manages to catch her hand, and with every ounce of his strength, he arches his back, then lifts up his feet and flips her over. LCP is now in the mounted top position. ~
Momo: Uh oh! Here it comes! The Big brother!
Leo: You seem to enjoy this way too much.
~ With his grip firmly on Wolf’s hand, he makes her slap herself and yells out “STOP HITTING YOURSELF!STOP HITTING YOURSELF!”. This only seems to upset Wolf as she wiggles her body in an attempt to get free. Meanwhile Kane is up. He smacks LCP on the side of the head with a closed fist, causing him to fall off Wolf. Kane gives a quick stomp to Wolf, then kicks LCP in the midsection and hooks him up with the “Dying Breed”, a lifting single underhook DDT. Kane goes for the pin.~
1!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!
3…..NO!!!!!
~ Wolf breaks up the pin. Kane rolls and then hops to his feet and Wolf stands up. LCP meanwhile is doubled over in pain. Wolf puts both hands up and motions for Kane to come forward. They engage in a collar and elbow tie-up. Kane gets the advantage and is able to drop Wolf with a side suplex. He follows it up with a standing splash. Kane walks over to LCP and delivers repeated kicks to LCP, who’s only option is to roll out of the ring. Kane looks over at Wolf who is still down, he grabs ropes with both arms, then leaps off and lands on top of LCP on the outside. Both men are down, but LCP is clearly the more hurt of the two. Wolf is getting up slowly, as Kane is up and then climbs up on the apron. He sees an opening, he grabs the ropes with both hands. Wolf is up on her feet as Kane springboards off the ropes towards her. Wolf braces herself, Kane lands with a crossbody. But Wolf somehow catches him, and delivers a powerslam. She reaches up and places her hand into his mouth, then she gets on top into a mounted position. She places her knees on both shoulders as Kane does his best to break free. Foam begins to spew out of his mouth and over his “black shit” covered face. His arms begin to to limp as the ref checks on him.
~He grabs Kane’s arm and lifts it up, then releases it. The arm is limp~
1!!!!
~He does so again, and again the arm is limp~
2!!!!
~The ref lifts his arm up a third time and releases it, the arm goes down a third time~
3!!!!
~The BELL RINGS….~
Belvedere: HERE IS YOUR WINNER!!!!! SARAH DOLLFACE WOLF!!!!
~Wolf holds onto the hold a little longer than necessary before releasing. She gets to her feet...Tony reaches for her hand but she pulls it away. She looks down at Kane and then outside the ring at LCP, who is recovering...she exits the ring, happy to take her victory and see how the rest of the night turns out. Tony checks on Kane. Outside, we see LCP seating up against the ring steps, frustrated over the result. Or, maybe over the fact he threw his Switch OLED into the ocean~
MoMo: LCP may not have won tonight but he managed to get a point for Team TLS. A much needed point.
Leo: Yep and Team PIC goes scoreless while Team Welsh...TWO POINTS, BABY!
MoMo: Sarah Wolf is suddenly looking like a very real threat to win this entire competition. If Strat and Thad get pinned, look out. She’s a wrestler nobody wants to face right now.
Leo: No shit, she’s a beast.
MoMo: So, Sarah Wolf stays alive. She is now tied with Stratford and Thad in the Team Welsh division. If they both get pinned we’ll have a three way tie for Team Welsh. LCP and Kane were both eliminated coming into this so they were fighting for Team points and LCP managed to get one for Team TLS.
Leo: A gutsy effort by both.
MoMo: Yep. Team Welsh moves into the lead now with 15 points. Team PIC is still at 13 and in second place. Team TLS moves to 11 points, remaining in third.
Leo: It’s beginning to look a lot like christmas...Team Welsh is in the lead!
MoMo: I wouldn’t get too excited...there’s still A LOT left to go tonight. Folks, we’re just getting started here on Night 4. Let’s take a quick break and we’ll be back with more!
~EARLIER TODAY. We cut backstage or, rather, underneath the deck of the Aircraft Carrier. Deep in the steel bowels of this sturdy, impregnable beast built by the hands of men hellbent on domination and destruction. It’s Martina Richards! She exits a room, dressed and ready to make an impact. A TRIAD employee stops her~
TRIAD Official: I’m sorry, Miss Richards but I’ve been told that you are to remain down here until specified otherwise.
Martina Richards: I’m with Team Welsh. I think there’s a misunderstanding.
TRIAD Official: These orders come directly from Mr. Welsh himself.
Martina Richards: There must be some sort of mistake.
~More TRIAD officials appear, surrounding Richards. She’s got nowhere to go. We cut back to the announce team~
MoMo: It appears Martina has fallen out of favor.
Leo: Marcus is a very smart man and, like a savvy Fantasy Football owner, knows when to trade in or, trade out. Richards served him well and helped get Sarah Wolf on track. Her services...for now, are no longer needed.
MoMo: This type of behavior is not conducive for long term success.
Leo: What’s long term? In two weeks we’re gonna hit the reset button. The future is now, Mo Man.
MoMo: I guess. As much as Martina has bothered me these past few weeks I just hate seeing her treated like this.
Leo: She’ll get her shot. On the Ghost Ship. In the Battle Royal.
MoMo: That she will. Alright folks, we’ve got one match down and three to go. The picture isn’t any clearer as Sarah Wolf is now TIED with Stratford and Thad atop the Welsh division. But, all Strat and Thad need are 1 point to eliminate Wolf...just avoid getting pinned.
Leo: They’ll do it.
MoMo: Thad is up first. He’s lead Team Welsh the entire way with Stratford and Wolf making a big push the past few nights. Now, he finds himself in a three way tie.
Leo: Just a testament to how strong Team Welsh is.
MoMo: It won’t be easy for Thad as he’s got Matt Knox standing in his way. Knox, like Wolf earlier, can tie Cortes if he gets two points in our upcoming match. But...there’s some people speculating that his hatred for Stratford might actually cause him to THROW the match.
Leo: I’d be down with that.
MoMo: It’s a tricky game. You spite your enemy but, in doing so, you hurt your team.
Leo: The team he just rescued...but I guess it’d be like taking your kids to disneyland only to vanish for the next six months.
MoMo: Knox and Thad have wanted a crack at each other for a long, long time and tonight they’ll get it...however, let’s not forget the unknown...the almost forgotten man in this one...MERICA.
Leo: WHO...just kidding. But seriously, WHO
MoMo: Last time, MERICA had a lot of momentum. People were talking about his untapped potential...his high ceiling...anxious to see if he’d continue to rise and then...well, it all came crashing down.
Leo: He had a rough Night, for sure.
MoMo: So rough even his mentor, Chet Dakota was disappointed. But, I’m told MERICA has been training hard and that Chet Dakota is giving him another shot.
Leo: What a guy.
MoMo: Reports out of Camp Dakota are that MERICA has looked much better training for this match. He’s obviously not the marquee name that Duke and Knox are...but could that play to his advantage? Could he use that to sneak in between the two and steal this victory?
Leo: You sound dumb.
MoMo: Team TLS needs it. They now trail Team Welsh by 4 points. Team PIC by 2. They need MERICA to get them some points and to keep Welsh or PIC off the board. We’ll see if he can do it...a lot is on the line in this one, folks...let’s head down to ringside!
~And so the night takes us to our second contest. The big picture remains murky. Sarah Wolf is suddenly tied with both Thad and Strat atop the Team Welsh division. Knox can tie Catalina with a win in this upcoming match. Team Welsh has a two point lead over Team PIC and a four point lead over Team TLS. With all the momentum, Team Welsh sends out one of it’s heaviest hitters. Team TLS trots out its wildcard...the one they took a chance on...will it pay off tonight when they need it to the most? And, Team PIC sends out one of its marquee names at a time when they find themselves looking up at the competition. It’s Match 2. It’s Night 4. Division and Team stakes are at an all time high...let’s head to the ring for what should be an epic clash~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for our second match of the evening! This match is a Triple Threat contest and it is scheduled for one fall!
~The fans are kinda upset Belvedere didn’t give them a chance to yell ‘ONE FALL’ so they boo a little. Belvedere is far from shaken by the displeasure of these neckbeards~
Belvedere: Introducing first…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...standing 6’2 and weighing in at 225lbs...representing Team TLS...MERICA!
~RED WHITE AND BLUE pyros will go off everywhere as MERICA by Granger Smith plays. MERICA comes out wrapped in the love and glory of the American flag as he proceeds to the ring. Once he reaches the ring MERICA removes the flag, carefully folds it into a triangle and hands it to Belvedere. Once this is complete MERICA faces toward the ocean and brings his hand to his head~
Belvedere: And now, please stand as…
~MERICA gets ready to recite the Pledge of Allegiance~
Belvedere: We recognize the arrival of Pro Wrestling Icon, Chet Dakota.
~MERICA is a little thrown. Everyone turns and looks, trying to find Chet Dakota. MERICA, shaken, tries to hide his embarrassment as he clears his throat and stands at attention for his mentor. Our camera pans around, looking for Chet Dakota~
MoMo: I was hoping he didn’t make the trip.
Leo: Chet Dakota is always going to be there for America and MERICA.
~Amid the fans the ground shakes...a small square piece of deck slides open...several fans standing on top of it scream and fall down into what is probably certain death. With the square opening revealed...red white and blue pyros go off once more as the Dakota Tower slowly rises out from under the deck and into view. Chet Dakota stands proudly, staring off into the horizon with that thousand yard stare as the ‘Air Force One’ theme proudly plays. MERICA looks up and salutes Chet Dakota. Chet Dakota narrows his vision, looking down at MERICA and he boldly states~
Chet Dakota: Don’t fail me again, Patriot.
~The fans start to boo...Chet reveals a remote in his hand and he presses a button...piped in cheers blare, drowning out the fans...along with chants of ‘CHET! CHET! CHET!’~
Leo: It’s deafening out here...these fans love Chet Dakota!
MoMo: Those are fake cheers!
Leo: You’re fake!
~The commotion and noise that is Chet Dakota’s arrival is overshadowed as someone yells ‘INCOMING!’ They all turn and see a Fighter Jet headed for the SS TRIAD~
Leo: We’re under attack!
MoMo: It’s coming in hot...we need fans to move out of the way!
~Titus rushes in, scrambling...getting fans to move and clear a path on the deck. We see PIC enter and ask “Who is that?” Titus shakes his head, “It’s not one of mine!” They look up, prepared for anything. The Fighter Jet descends amid a shaky horizon. It scoots past Dakota’s Tower...Chet looks on, wondering if it’s commie scum that he needs to take care of. The jet slows and it descends down onto the deck...fans nearby holding on to their personal items so they don’t get blown away...Titus making sure people are out of range of the jet engines hot, dangerous air. The jet’s wheels drop down and it lands safely on the SS TRIAD...about a hundred feet from the ring. It purrs, the engines slowly coming to a rest as the pilot executes a perfect landing before shutting this powerful device down~
MoMo: Who is that?
Leo: Is that MAVERICK?
MoMo: You know that’s not a real person, right?
Leo: You’re not a real person!
~The cockpit glass opens up and the pilot unfastens his seatbelt. He stands upright and removes his helmet which has a very familiar logo featuring a lion on it...the fans go wild as they see Thad Duke! “THAD! THAD! THAD!” He tosses the helmet at Welsh...Welsh catches it and Thad looks out at the fans and then at the ring. MERICA looks on...he then looks up at Chet...Chet speaks down, “Don’t be intimidated, Patriot.”~
MoMo: Thad Duke with the grandest of entrances!
Leo: He’s a real life Maverick. No wonder Sahara married him.
MoMo: Chet doing his best to keep MERICA calm. We’re on an aircraft carrier inside the Bermuda Triangle and a pro wrestling prodigy just made his entrance via a Fighter Jet...that’s a lot for a rookie to take in.
Leo: It’s a good thing he has 50 time World Champion Chet Dakota in his corner.
~Thad entertains the fans for a moment, taking in the cheers and the moment of this astonishing, grandiose entrance. The fans are so enamored with him that they aren’t paying attention to much else...except for one woman who yells out ‘KNOX!’ Thad moves to exit his jet. “KNOX!” she yells again. Thad pauses, did he hear her correctly? He starts to step out of the jet...as he does, the long, athletic body of Knox leaps up out of nowhere, grabbing Thad and leaping off the side of the Fighter Jet with a Spanish Fly!!!! They flip over and land on the HARD SS TRIAD deck!!! Fans go crazy...they scream and cheer… “HOLY SHIT!!” Thad is down. Knox rolls around, holding his midsection...Welsh rushes over to check on Thad while PIC looks up at the Fighter Jet from beneath it wondering where Knox came from~
MoMo: What the...was Knox already out here? Was he in that jet?
Leo: MY DEAR SWEET THAD!
MoMo: How did he…
Leo: We should throw Knox overboard this instance!
~MERICA looks on from the ring...he’s nonplussed like the rest. We get a replay...it’s tough to tell what happened but apparently Knox had stowed himself away inside the Fighter Jet...we see him drop down from underneath it once it landed and the engines were turned off. We cut back to the live feed with Knox getting to one knee...he looks over at Thad who is struggling...Knox balls up his fist and he begins punching Thad in the head. Welsh yells at Knox...he turns to the ring screaming at Tony to do his job. PIC grabs Welsh and pulls him away from the action...it’s not about them...it’s about the wrestlers and their ability to show whether or not they have what it takes to Unite the TRIAD. MERICA starts to exit the ring but Chet calls down, “Be still, Patriot. Be still.” MERICA holds up. Tony exits, heading to the scene of the action~
MoMo: Knox unloading on Thad. Man, we all knew he was eager for this battle!
Leo: I think Knox AND Thad have wanted to beat each other up for years. This is a long time coming.
MoMo: Which could provide the perfect chance for MERICA...should they completely forget about him.
Leo: MERICA should just take a walk. Let these two legends DUKE it out...see what I did there, eh?
~Tony yells at them to get it into the ring so he can start the match. Knox gets up and shoves Tony down...Tony hits the ground and looks up at Knox like ‘wth, man?’ Knox snags Thad by the hair and he drags him toward the ring...Thad’s weakened...already having absorbed significant punishment. Knox reaches ringside and he drags Thad near the ring steps...he then slings his handful of hair into the steps sending the back of Thad’s head SLAMMING into the steel! The fans BOOOOO!!! Thad slouches over, looking knocked out. Knox sticks his foot into Thad’s throat, cutting off his wind~
MoMo: Knox continuing his assault. He got the jump on Thad and he knows how important it is to keep your foot on the gas.
Leo: C’mon, Thad...c’mon!
MoMo: You might want to pull for MERICA, Leo. He might be the only chance Thad has at getting back in this.
Leo: Ugh, gross.
~MERICA wants to get in on the action but Chet clears his throat every time he starts to exit. MERICA backs away, taking his mentor’s advice. Knox finishes choking Thad out and looks into the ring at MERICA. He pulls Thad to his feet and slings him into the ring under the bottom rope, right at MERICA’s feet. MERICA looks down and Knox motions for MERICA to ‘have at it’. MERICA looks at Knox...he’s confused, conflicted. Chet barks down, “Attack, patriot. Attack!”~
MoMo: Okay...so Knox is apparently trying to humiliate Thad.
Leo: How is any of this legal? DQ Knox!
MoMo: The bell hasn’t rang yet and it won’t until Knox gets into the ring.
~MERICA looks down at the beaten Thad...he feels conflicted. The fans urge him not to do it. Chet speaks again, “Do not hesitate, Patriot! Attack!” The fans plead with him not to...they want him to go after Knox, instead. Chet, “PATRIOT!” MERICA snaps out of it and drops to his knees, punching Thad in the head. The fans BOOO! Knox watches on from under the bottom rope...MERICA gets to his feet...he pulls Thad up. Chet looks on, eager. MERICA picks Thad up onto his shoulders and he spins around dropping Thad with MERICAN MADE!!!!! The crowd is shocked. Thad is down and MERICA goes for the cover. Tony hits the ring and is about to count when he looks over and sees Knox...he then realizes the match hasn’t started yet...and it can’t until Knox hits the ring. MERICA looks at Knox...get in the ring! Chet calls down, “Get that man in the ring!” Knox stays outside~
MoMo: What is Knox doing?!
Leo: No idea...but I’m glad he isn’t in that ring. I mean, Thaddeus would obviously kick out before one but, still...the optics wouldn’t be great with him even suffering a pin attempt at the hands of MERICA.
MoMo: Knox doesn’t want this match to start yet for some reason. There’s a good chance he or MERICA could pin Thad right now.
Leo: Hey, you keep that kinda talk up and you’ll be lucky to have a job during the Strength Trials.
~MERICA heads for the ropes looking down at Knox...Knox looks back up at MERICA, almost daring him to do something. MERICA suddenly falls back as Thad rolls him up!! But there’s no pin attempt...no official match, yet. MERICA kicks Thad off of him and goes back after Duke. Knox leans forward, watching under the bottom rope. Thad backs up into a corner...MERICA puts the boots to him...stomping and stomping. Tony can’t really do anything...it’s still unofficial. Knox heads toward that corner. MERICA ceases the stomping and goes to Tony, pointing at Knox...as he does, Knox reaches into the ring and chokes Thad from outside...taking his giant right hand and compressing Thad’s throat against the bottom buckle. MERICA points and asks if that counts for Knox being in the ring...Tony declines. “The whole body” he says~
MoMo: This has got to be frustrating for, well, everyone but Knox.
Leo: Can we just DQ him...I mean we DQ’d Wolf for way less!
MoMo: I don’t think so, Leo. Especially not this late in the game.
~MERICA starts to show a little bark… “GET IN THE RING” he yells at Knox. Knox folds his arms...he’s almost impressed at the anger MERICA is allowing to take over his, thus far, even keeled demeanor. MERICA looks ready to get out of the ring and get physical with Knox...but Thad reaches up...he grabs MERICA by the lower body and rises up, lifting him up just enough to drop him with Snake Eyes!!! MERICA stumbles back, holding his face!! The fans pop!!! Thad gets to his feet...he measures MERICA up...is he going for HEAT SEEKER?? He steps forward...but Knox trips him up!!! Thad falls back to the mat...more BOOOOS from the fans~
MoMo: Ugh...Thad had some momentum but Knox, once again, gets in the way.
Leo: Just get in the ring, man! Fuck’s sake!
MoMo: I think someone is going to have to go out there and throw Knox into the ring.
~MERICA shakes off the Snake Eyes and sees Thad down...he sees Knox still outside the ring. “Work on the show off, Patriot,” Chet says, referring to Thad. MERICA picks Thad up and whips him into the ropes...Thad bounces off and MERICA delivers a beautiful standing dropkick, nailing Thad right in the face!!! Thad this the mat...MERICA pops back up...but he can’t go for a pin..it’s all fruitless until Knox gets in the ring. He glances at Knox through his peripheral...Knox is near the corner, outside the ring. “Stay the course, Patriot.” MERICA pulls Thad back up and whips him into the corner opposite Knox...Thad hits hard. MERICA charges in and delivers a HUGE splash!!! Thad’s body is wrecked into the buckles. MERICA grabs Thad’s arm and he whips him across the ring...Thad charges and SMASH!! Into the opposite corner...he sulks...he’s taken quite a beating. MERICA gets in position and he charges at Thad...MERICA leaps into the air...he soars...he REALLY soars...he leaps over the corner outside the ring and on top of Knox with a somersault senton!!!!! He clears the post and everything landing right on top of Knox, taking him down!!! The fans go crazy!! ‘HOLY SHIT!’ and ‘MERICA!!!’ We see Chet quietly click his remote to drown out the ‘MERICA’ chants with ‘CHET DAKOTA’ chants~
MoMo: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT
Leo: Geezus...did you know he could jump that high...that far?
MoMo: No idea. He’s a hell of an athlete!
Leo: This is like when you’re hanging out with that girl and she’s always in sweaters and shit and then one day you run into her at the beach, she takes off her sweater to reveal her bathing suit and, man, she’s equipped.
MoMo: Well, that certainly is an analogy.
~MERICA gets back to his feet, holding his back a bit. He’s fired up...red white and blue running through his veins!! Chet yells out, “Back in the ring, Patriot!” MERICA snags Knox by his hair and he drags him to the ring...he slings him in under the bottom rope...MERICA rolls in and Tony signals to the timekeeper! The bell sounds and the crowd goes wild~
MoMo: Finally! We are underway!
Leo: Okay, let Thad recuperate...it’s serious business now.
~Knox is on all fours, trying to figure out what just happened. MERICA pops to his feet and pulls Knox up...he hooks him from behind for a German Suplex...Knox’s instincts kick in, he throws a sharp back elbow, smacking MERICA in the head. He stumbles back, releasing his grip. Knox reaches for the ropes, leaning into them...slowly he looks over at MERICA with an incredulous look on his face. ‘You?!’ he seems to say. Knox runs at MERICA and throws Little Drop of Poison at him!! But MERICA tucks and rulls under the leg and pops up to his feet. Knox spins around...MERICA runs to the ropes he springboards off the middle rope and takes Knox down with a moonsault!!! The crowd goes wild!! MERICA pops back up to his feet, fired up and beating his chest. Chet yells down, “Don’t show off, Patriot!” MERICA calms himself...as he does, he catches something out of the corner of his eye...he turns and sees Thad emerging from the corner, holding his ribs and wiping what appears to be some blood from the edge of his mouth...a wounded lion but a lion, still~
MoMo: Thad looks to be ready to finally compete in this.
Leo: You say that like he had a fuckin choice.
MoMo: True. He was jumped from the start.
Leo: Fuckin Knox!
~Thad motions for MERICA to come at him...MERICA is leery. “Lock up with him, Patriot!” Chet urges. MERICA does as instructed...he reaches out to lock up with Thad but Thad lifts a knee into MERICA’s midsection. He slams a forearm into MERICA’s back...he whips MERICA into the ropes...but MERICA reverses...Thad hits the ropes and MERICA hoists Thad up onto his shoulders and drops him with a Death Valley Driver!!! Thad’s neck compresses into the mat!! MERICA pops back up...Chet directs from his tower, “And now, hit him with your three belly to belly suplexes and by him I’m talking about Thaddeus Duke.” MERICA reaches down to grab Thad~
MoMo: This guy would be a horrible spy.
Leo: What are you talking about? He’s the most decorated soldier in american history!
~MERICA pulls Thad up and hooks his arms around Thad...but Thad reaches out and claps his hands around MERICA’s head!! MERICA’s ears ring…he staggers back...Thad reaches down, yanking his legs out from under him. He gets MERICA’s legs under his arm and falls back with a slingshot!! MERICA flies through the air into the ropes...he hits the top rope and flips up and over, slamming onto the apron before falling all the way to the outside!! The fans groan, feeling bad for MERICA. Chet lets out a disappointed sigh through his microphone. Thad staggers into a corner...as he does, he looks over and sees Knox on his feet...the two legends, headliners, main eventers lock eyes and prepare for battle~
MoMo: Knox got the jump on Thad but now they’re on even ground.
Leo: Does a Raven really think he can stand against a Lion?
MoMo: This one does, no doubt.
Leo: Foolish.
~Thad says, “You wanna jump me when I’m getting out of my plane?” Knox smirks. Thad urges Knox to come to him. Knox smiles and has no issue with that...he marches toward Thad and the two men lock up! HUGE OVATION!!! The two warriors push...each trying to gain the upper hand...Knox has the size advantage, but Thad is much stronger than he looks. Thad drops to one knee...but he fights back and Knox drops to one knee...Knox gets back to his feet...Thad tries to take him over but Knox holds on and the two men just roll across the mat before popping back to their feet, still hooked in the lockup of death. There’s no give in either of these men...the fans suddenly react as we see Helena Handbasket rush to the ring...Knox sees her heading to the ring and his focus is broken...this gives Thad a window to shove him back into a corner. Thad unleashes chop after chop across the chest of Knox...each one worse than the previous. The fans “WOOO!” as flesh bites into flesh. Thad hops up onto the middle buckle and he starts punching Knox in the head...one, two, three...the fans count...Thad gets to nine and then falls back, tossing Knox over with a Monkey Flip!! Knox’s body flies through the air and lands hard on the mat as the fans yell out “TEN!!!” Thad kips up...as he does, he reaches for his back a bit, showing the lingering effects of that Spanish Fly. Outside, Helena drops down to a knee...she’s tending to her teammate, MERICA~
MoMo: We’ve got Helena out here checking on MERICA.
Leo: I like that...stay out here, distract your old man.
MoMo: Knox cannot get through a match without some sort of distraction. It’s plagued him throughout these Trials.
Leo: Yea, well that’s what he gets for sticking his dick in everything.
~HHB tends to her teammate...it’s clear Team TLS needs points. Chet calls down, “Don’t allow yourself to get beguiled by her womanly ways, patriot.” HHB glares at Chet...Chet just stares off into the horizon. Thad pulls Knox back to his feet and backs him against the ropes...he whips him off...Knox reverses...Thad hits the ropes...Knox ducks down for a back body drop...but Thad stops and kicks Knox in the face!! Knox rears up and stumbles into the ropes...Thad charges in and clotheslines Knox over the top rope...Knox flips over and lands on the apron...Knox pulls him up and runs him down the apron, slamming his face into the top buckle...Knox hangs onto the top rope with one hand, teetering on the edge of the apron~
MoMo: Thad has some serious momentum now. Knox is in trouble!
Leo: Put him away! Teach him a lesson, Thad!
MoMo: That could be the case unless Helena can get MERICA back into this thing.
~Thad climbs to the middle buckle...he pulls Knox up onto the middle buckle, outside the ring...he hooks Knox, grabs hold of his tights and yells out as he lifts Knox from outside the ring up and over the ropes and all the way DOWN onto the canvas!!! HUGE impact!! The fans go wild! “DUKE! DUKE! DUKE!” Knox arches his back in pain as Thad remains on the mat for a moment, wincing. Outside, HHB gets MERICA seated up and pats him on the back…she points into the ring and MERICA nods, getting caught up to speed. Thad pops back to his feet...he looks down at Knox and then jumps off the mat with M.O.A.B. (Shooting Star Press)!!!! He lands on top of Knox!!! Thad shoots the half for the pin...Tony slides in~
1!
2!
3...NO!
MoMo: MERICA breaks it up!
Leo: Helena, babe! You could’ve let your dad eat the pin there.
MoMo: She’s out there for her TEAM, Leo. It’s about the team and their success.
Leo: Is she on Team Welsh?
MoMo: No.
Leo: Then her efforts are futile.
~MERICA stands in the ring, holding onto Thad’s leg. Thad turns around and he kicks MERICA off him...MERICA stumbles into the ropes...Thad nips up...but in doing so, wraps his legs around MERICA’s neck and takes him down with End Game (Hell’s Gate Submission)!!!! The fans leap to their feet!!! MERICA is in trouble!!! He drops down to one knee. “Power out, Patriot,” Chet demands. HHB slaps the apron, trying to encourage her teammate. But, MERICA is fading~
MoMo: What tremendous awareness and agility by Thad. I say it over and over but he is really amazing.
Leo: We’re seeing a legend in action...and he’s younger than the both of us!
MoMo: He’s accomplished so much in such a small time frame. It’s astounding.
~Knox drags himself into a corner...he looks across the ring and sees Thad choking MERICA out. He relaxes...he’s in no hurry to stop it. HHB looks on...she can’t believe he’s not doing anything. Knox looks over and sees the angst on his daughter’s face...he kinda grumbles and reaches for the ropes, pulling himself up. He marches across the ring and kicks Thad in the face!! Thad instantly releases the hold...MERICA falls to the mat, face first. Knox stomps on Thad, keeping him down~
MoMo: I think Knox was content with Thad winning it.
Leo: And then his stupid kid had to guilt trip him. Get her out of there!
MoMo: There have been rumors swirling that Knox might be just as inclined to let Thad win this as he would to win it himself. Cause, if Thad wins, Stratford is in trouble.
Leo: Any strategy that involves Thad winning is smart strategy. Unfortunately, I don’t always associate intelligence with Knox.
~Knox pulls Thad off the mat and whips him into a corner. He charges in and flies through the air with a HUGE splash!! He backs up...Thad stumbles forward...Knox delivers a round kick to the gut...he follows that up with a swift kick into the knee sending Thad to a kneeled position...Knox then drops an axe kick into Thad’s head…Thad falls to his side, down on the mat. Knox stands over him and he then looks down at Helena~
MoMo: To The Guillotine! Thad is down and he’s hurt!
Leo: Knox looking at Helena like “There, ya happy?”
MoMo: Well, he could pin Thad. That’d give Team TLS a point.
Leo: Whoa! You watch your mouth, bitch!
~Knox is standing tall...which brings a loud chorus of boos...he’s a little thrown by this...as we all are. Until he looks and sees a figure approaching the ring. Knox shakes his head and says, “You’re late” as he leans over the top rope, pointing at the man himself...Stephen Stratford. The fans boo and they yell at Strat to ‘GET THE FUCK OUT!’ But Strat reaches ringside and looks up at Knox...he then slowly turns his head and looks across the ring at Helena...an act that riles Knox up~
MoMo: Oh boy...Strat’s out here now.
Leo: Here we go...Team Welsh unite!