LIVE! Thursday, September 26th, 2024
From the Haunted OCW HQ in Key West
Episode 4 - "Like Hundreds"
It’s a somber Monday morning at OCW Headquarters. The staff inside are all shaken from what transpired a week prior. Matt Knox invading and assaulting Jim. Sure, nobody liked Jim but he was still one of their own and if it could happen to Jim it could happen to them.
The good captain, Roderick Slock remains at home dealing with the head trauma caused by Knox. Who’Re stands in charge as OCW GM Derek Mobley continues to oversee the ongoing Cursed Countdown.
“I still can’t get it out of my mind. The way he broke in here. The way he moved. It was like he was possessed.”
Who’Re shakes her head, still bothered by the scene from a week earlier.
“I do apologize for not being around to protect you, m’lady. I want you to know the locks have been doubled. I shall remain vigilant.”
Who’Re pats the Knife Man on the shoulder. The giant, deadly knife in his hands points up toward the ceiling.
“Thanks, Knifey. You’re the best.”
She kisses him on the cheek. The knife in his hand shakes like it’s about to explode or something. OCW ring announcer Belvedere pokes his head into the rec room.
“Ahem. He’s here.”
They perk up.
“Be gentle. He’s still down from last Thursday.”
Who’Re exits and finds Mike Zybala slowly walking down the hall. His head is down. The sting from his loss to Vhodka Black is far from numbed.
“You did great, Mike.”
Zybala has no response. He continues marching down the hall with Who’Re following, concern all over her face. Mike enters into an office with ‘Outsiders’ written across the door in black sharpie.
“Can I get you anything?”
Mike looks at his desk and the power ranger action figures. He slaps them off, sending them flying into the wall. Who’Re jumps back, shaken. Mike’s eyes turn to his mid 90’s computer. He boots it up. It churns and clicks and makes all kinds of struggling noises. The Windows 95 logo shows up.
“Some coffee while you wait?”
Zybala’s eyes are fixated on the discolored screen. His jaw tightens. The blue screen of death appears. He snaps, grabbing the monitor and slinging it into the wall where it shatters and sparks. Who’Re yelps, backing up into the doorway. Zybala trashes his desk, letting out some of that rage.
Silence.
He pauses. He tries to keep it under control. His eyes slowly turn toward Who’Re.
“Sorry. It’s just...it’s been tough.”
Who’Re slowly re-enters, patting Mike on the shoulder. He surveys the damage. The broken computer.
“Can you get Jim in here and see if he can fix this? I need to go over the Outsiders booking sheet again.”
She pauses. Stammers over her words a bit. This brings Mike’s concern up.
“What?”
“About that…”
Who’Re proceeds to explain Matt Knox’s intrusion one week earlier. Zybala listens in, finding a new target for his anger.
“And by the time we got to Jim’s office it was too late.”
“What do you mean too late?”
“He was gone. Knox took him somewhere.”
Mike mulls things over, running his hands through his hair.
“Nobody liked Jim, though, right?”
“Not really.”
“And we can get another computer guy, right?”
“I mean, sure….that probably wouldn’t be difficult. It’s just the issue with human life and all. Plus it’s got the staff pretty shaken up.”
Zybala thinks some more.
“Any idea what Knox wanted? Like...why Jim? Why didn’t he go after something more important?”
Who’Re hesitates.
“What is it, Who’Re?”
“He was looking for Welsh.”
Puzzled wouldn’t do the look on Zybala’s face justice.
“Welsh? Welsh is dead.”
“Knox seems to believe he’s alive.”
Zybala’s eyes widen.
“But Knox is clearly losing his mind. Obsessed with Welsh and everything that’s gone down between the two over the past year. He’s not thinking clearly.”
Mike’s eyes surf the room as his brain races. He mumbles to himself. His head starts to nod. He speaks to Who’Re without looking at her.
“Give me Jim’s address.”
“Are you sure? Knox is dangerous.”
“AND WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?!”
Zybala’s outburst terrifies Who’Re. She rushes out of the room. Zybala instantly grabs control of himself.
“Who’Re! I’m sorry!”
Left alone in his disheveled office, Zybala continues to ponder a surprising scenario.
“Welsh alive? Knox looking for him? If Welsh is alive I’ve got to be the one to find him. I’ve got to find Knox.”
Zybala hops over some of the debris on his floor and exits his office. We follow him as he storms down the hallway. Staff members try to get a hello in but he ignores them, marching with a purpose. He SUPERKICKS the door to the parking lot open and our view points up toward the sky and the full moon shining down. We zoom in as the Cursed Countdown intro plays.
one
~The intro video ends and we cut back to the Haunted House. A group of fans have gathered outside once again to see if they can catch a glimpse of horror. The OCW merch booth is featuring some new items including the Zybala Xenomorph Vest! One fan buys it, lays down, pulls on a ripcord and a tiny xenomorphy rips out of the vest...it then throws a superkick before diving back into the vest. The fans standing around go wild! Signs around the beach kindly ask people to not go into the water. One fan casts a fishing line into the water because he’s a fuckin rebel who isn’t going to take no for an answer. His line straights under tremendous weight...he fights with it...it then pulls him into the ocean where he vanishes. Nobody says anything cause nobody sees it because Smith and Hood have the spotlight directed upon them~
Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome to Episode 4 of Cursed Countdown!!
~Huge ovation~
Smith: I’m your host Smith and alongside me, as always, is Hood!
Hood: Yep, as always. And always. And fuckin always.
Smith: Haha oh you love it!
Hood: I’ll kill you.
Smith: What was that?
~Odd silence~
Smith: Anyway! Last week we saw two gut wrenching eliminations as Vhodka Black eliminated Mike Zybala and the Unlikely Duo of LCP and Zombie Marcus eliminated Duce.
Hood: There weren’t two wrestlers in this competition more deserving of the OCW than Duce and Zybala so, of course, they get bounced before we reach the halfway point.
Smith: Classic OCW, baby!
Hood: You gonna get one of those Zybala vest things?
Smith: I don’t think so. I’m good with not experiencing tiny creatures bursting through my sternum.
Hood: Sounds like you’re afraid of L I V I N, man.
Smith: More like trying to avoid dying.
Hood: Then why the hell are you calling an event inside a house filled with ghosts and mummies and zybalas?
Smith: Because…
Hood: Internet girlfriends that model on cams aren’t cheap, I forgot.
Smith: Let’s just move along. Fans...last week 7 competitors entered and only 5 survived. This week 5 enter all looking to make it to another night. With five episodes left it’s going to be interesting to see if the attrition picks up or slows down.
Hood: Lots of Strategery going on...I know this because at least two wrestlers have sent me that GIF.
Smith: The wrestlers DM you?
Hood: Oh yea. Do they not DM you?
Smith: Uh sure they do. All the time! I just didn’t want you to feel left you.
Hood: Whatever.
Smith: Five names remain all five with a twenty percent chance to end the curse and leave OCW Champion. Henri Toussaint, LC Pinkston, Mack O’Connor, Vhodka Black, and Zombie Marcus...quite the Motley Crew, as they say.
Hood: Nobody says that.
Smith: At tonight’s conclusion we could remain at 5 or we could be all the way down to 1 it just depends on what room these competitors pick to spend the evening in.
Hood: Sauna, right? Somebody has got to pick the Sauna.
Smith: Eventually someone will...is tonight the night?!
~Smith’s voice raises. The fans chant “SAUNA! SAUNA! SAUNA!”~
Smith: There we go!
Hood: Everybody loves a good Sauna.
Smith: You know what else everybody loves? A good partnership! Let’s head over to our GM Derek Mobley as he continues to branch out and show some love to worthy promotions.
Hood: Wait...those exist outside of this place?
~We cut to Derek Mobley and Eugene standing on the porch in front of the house~
Derek Mobley: Hello fans! We are so happy to have all of you here and I’m pleased to announce that we had zero Casual Murders last week!
~A mix of happiness and disappointment from the crowd~
Derek Mobley: Still...make sure you sign those waivers if this is your first time attending an OCW event.
~We get a shot of The Knife Man walking around with his giant, deadly knife stabbed through a stack of papers. He politely extends the papers toward inquisitive guests so they can remove one and sign it~
Derek Mobley: Also...Eugene has something he’d like to say.
Eugene: Thanks -
~Eugene bumps into Derek and nearly falls down. Derek helps him up~
Eugene: Sorry about that. I always get a little excited when talking to people under a full moon. But, listen, I just want everybody to know that the situation at OCW HQ is under control. Jim is fine. Matt Knox is being treated by licensed medical professionals for whatever it is he’s got going on in that fine looking head of his and Mike Zybala is definitely not getting involved.
~The fans murmur~
Eugene: Also if you read any rumors about some kind of OCW vs Outsiders show simply dismiss it as journalistic tomfoolery. Slapdash reporting. Just a mishmash of desired fact and actual fiction.
~Derek puts his hand on Eugene’s shoulder to calm him down, stop him~
Derek Mobley: Thanks, Eugene.
Eugene: You got it, Derek!
Derek Mobley: Also, I’d like to once again remind everyone to check out WrestleMecca! A unique, once in a lifetime pro wrestling event featuring Brad Stokes…
Eugene: And Warrick!
Derek Mobley: Yes, and him too. Featuring so many great wrestlers in search of the island of WrestleMecca! It will air LIVE on WrestleFlix! So, be sure to get your subscriptions today...you won’t want to miss WrestleMecca!
Derek Mobley: Don’t miss it! Alright you crazy people...how about we give you what you came for?
~The fans chant “SAUNA!”~
Derek Mobley: Okay, I can’t promise that. But what I can promise is Episode 4 of Cursed Countdown is just moments away! Enjoy!!
~Derek and Eugene exit the front porch before shit starts to get spooky. We focus back on the announce team~
Smith: It’s nice to work with other promotions, don’t you think?
Hood: No. Have you seen other promotions? They’re basically AIDS. We’re sticking our dick into AIDS infested holes.
Smith: Gross. I…
Jack Puffer: Gentlemen!
Smith: Jack!
~Hood grabs his heart~
Hood: Geezus, man. Why are you always sneaking up on us like that?
Jack Puffer: Maybe you should pay closer attention so as not to…
~Jack trips and falls. He pops back to his feet~
Jack Puffer: Who’s ready for an exciting night? Huh? HUH?
Smith: I am!
Hood: How’s that neck, Jack?
~We get a shot of a scratch on Jack’s neck made by the ghost of Jade Spritz one week ago. He reaches for it, rubbing~
Jack Puffer: It’s been a little irritated but no big deal. Probably a spider bite or something.
~Hood laughs~
Smith: I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Jack Puffer: Anyway, I need to be heading inside...tonight could be the night, gentlemen. Tonight could be the night we crown a new OCW Champion!
Hood: Somebody get Harvey in here to announce it if it happens!
Jack Puffer: …
~Puffer glares at Hood his eyes almost seem to turn a shade of yellow. Hood’s brow furrows~
Hood: Just a joke, Puff.
~Puffer laughs~
Jack Puffer: Now who’s the bitch? Ahaha! Alright, well I’m heading inside...let’s get to the action!
~Puffer marches toward the house and hustles up the steps. The fans start to cheer. Puffer sees a spider and he stomps on it...the fans go wild! Puffer raises a fist before entering into the house~
Smith: Our host is in place which means we are about to get started.
Hood: He didn’t have to be such a dick.
Smith: You were making fun of Harvey upstaging him. That’s a very sensitive subject for Jack.
Hood: Yea? Well I hope Harvey keeps doing it. YEA I SAID IT
Smith: Alright fans...we’re nearing the witching out. It’s almost ten o’clock so let’s head inside and find out which rooms these competitors have chosen!
~No response from Hood~
Smith: You okay?
Hood: Wait for it...wait for it…
~Smith looks around and sees Amby Brooks heading for the house~
Smith: Somebody help that poor woman! Her shoulder can only take so much!
Hood: Wait for it…
~Amby walks up the steps as all the fans look on, waiting for it. She reaches the entry way and...the doors expand as she walks in without issue! The doors shrink back down to their regular size. The crowd nods and does some positive murmuring~
Smith: Well, what do you know.
Hood: Boo! Weak ass housing!
Smith: Alright fans, let’s head inside where Jack Puffer is ready to get this episode underway!
~We enter inside the Haunted House where Puffer lights a candle atop a dilapidated table. He pulls up a chair and swipes some of the dust off before turning his focus to the camera~
Jack Puffer: Hello everyone and welcome to Episode 4 of Cursed Countdown! Tonight 5 competitors enter this haunted abode with one goal and one goal only...killing this dreadful curse and claiming the original OCW Title!
~The fans outside cheer~
Jack Puffer: We’re near the ‘witching hour’ so let’s get this started...who’s up fir-
~The door is kicked open and the loud mouthed rookie approaches Puffer~
Henri Toussaint: Sak Pase
Jack Puffer: Henri! Good to see you!
~Puffer laughs, nervously as Henri gets in close, inspecting the Good Detective~
Jack Puffer: You, um, like it? It’s Brute. For Men.
~Henri backs up and spits on the ground~
Henri Toussaint: Smells like bitch.
~Puffer laughs and pats Henri on the chest while looking into the camera~
Jack Puffer: He’s joking. This is how we joke. Haha.
~Henri grabs Jack’s hand, pulls it from his chest and twists his fingers. Puffer winces, his face turning red. He nearly doubles over~
Jack Puffer: My...hand...Henri…
~Henri doesn’t let go~
Jack Puffer: Which...room…
~Henri lets go and Puffer grasps at his hand, holding it and wincing~
Henri Toussaint: Imma make this real short and sweet.
I knew they was a buncha bitches in this competition, but even I been amazed at how they all tryna dodge the rookie.
Ain’t I supposed to be the one runnin’ scared?
But I got Vhodka Black of all people goin’ room to room as soon as I leave knowin’ I can’t come back and blast her ass.
Then you got LCP and Ke’Derrion doin’ the Monster Mash night after night chasin’ Vhodka’s shadow.
And for what?
Another week of ‘safety’?
Only one person gonna walk outta this house with the OCW title around they waist. The hell does it matter if you lasted 1 week or 6? If you don’t win you just a bitch. Period.
So tonight Imma do something I ain’t never done in my life. I’m choosing NOT to fight. Imma take my business to that guest room and take a long ass nap so that next week yall bitches can’t follow me no more. Next week you won’t know where I’m headed and that’s when I’m the most dangerous.
~Puffer rubs his hand, fighting back the pain in his voice~
Jack Puffer: So you’re going to avoid them now? Two wrongs don’t make a right ya-
~Henri raises his hand. Puffer shuts up~
Henri Toussaint: Don’t be a bitch
~Toussaint glares at Puffer until Puffer breaks eye contact. Henri smiles and marches up the steps to the second floor where he opens the Guest Room door and slams it shut. Puffer jumps at the sound while holding his hand~
Smith: Henri seems a little put out right now.
Hood: Can you blame him? Everybody is dodging him? Nobody wants to tangle with the Haitian Sensation.
Smith: That’s a very dangerous man.
Hood: Glad he put the nerd Puffer in his place! Let’s go, Henri!
~Puffer brings his hand to his face and he kisses it trying to make it better...his eyes dart up and he immediately hides his hand behind his back~
Jack Puffer: Vhodka!
~Vhodka slowly paces toward Puffer giving him a wary eye~
Vhodka Black: Were you just kissing your hand?
~Puffer’s eyes dart back and forth~
Jack Puffer: Uh, no. That’s something a crazy person would do.
Vhodka Black: Do you not know how to kiss, Jack?
~Puffer stammers~
Jack Puffer: Uh...yes I know how to kiss. I’m actually a really good kisser. Like seriously.
~Vhodka gets in close~
Vhodka Black: I can teach you how to kiss. It’s better than that fuckin hand which I’m sure gets way too much use.
Jack Puffer: You’re joking, right?
~Vhodka gets in closer~
Jack Puffer: OMG you’re not joking...uh...yea, sure!
~Puffer closes his eyes and leans in...Vhodka smacks him in the forehead and shoves him back into his char. Puffer falls back and looks up~
Vhodka Black: Wow, that was way too easy.
~Puffer’s arms go limp as dejection takes hold~
Jack Puffer: What room?
Vhodka Black: Henri thinks I’m following him, right?
~Puffer brings his hand in close and holds it, tenderly~
Jack Puffer: Yes.
Vhodka Black: Great. Put me in the library.
Jack Puffer: But that’s exactly what he…
Vhodka Black: I know.
Jack Puffer: Then...why?
Vhodka Black: Because fuck him, that’s why. See you at 7.
~Vhodka smiles before pivoting and marching straight for the Library. She opens the door, enters, and slams it shut. Again, Puffer’s body jolts~
Smith: Well it’s all clear what Vhodka’s plan has been.
Hood: Avoid Henri until the end.
Smith: I’m not sure if it’s self preservation or mind games meant to frustrate the rookie...either way, it’s worked so far.
Hood: I just don’t know what she’s going to do in the Library. She can’t even read.
Smith: Yes she can!
~A bit crestfallen and mildly disappointed Puffer rubs his hand a bit. He extends it over his head and close it, opens it, closes it...working out the muscles. While it’s opened, another hand flies into view, giving him a high five. Puffer lets out a painful squeal and looks up to find LCP standing over him~
LCP: Yes I have been working out. Thanks for noticing. Was in the Weight Room last week.
Jack Puffer: Yes. I remember.
~Puffer grimaces, holding his hand as LCP looks down at his hand, impressed~
LCP: With great power comes great responsibility.
Jack Puffer: Lewis!
LCP: What!
~Puffer holds his hand and displays a look that indicates he’s already over this evening~
Jack Puffer: Do me a kindness.
LCP: What like a bunch of Ravens? You want Alexander, Knox and the almighty James?
Jack Puffer: What? No. Besides, that’s an unkindness.
LCP: Really?
Jack Puffer: Yes, really.
~LCP stares at Jack. Jack stares back. LCP slowly raises his hand~
Jack Puffer: Put your hand down! It’s not even that strong to begin with.
LCP: Whatever makes you feel better.
~LCP lowers his hand~
Jack Puffer: Which room!