OCW Presents: Cursed Countdown
LIVE! Thursday, September 5th, 2024
From the Haunted OCW HQ in Key West
Episode 1 - "That's a Zombie."

It’s a dark Sunday night on Labor Day Weekend. A bunch of students attending a local community college are driving deeper and deeper into isolation. Into the wild. The four wheels of their modest pick up manages to handle the increasingly bumpy and, at times, soggy terrain.

“Are we almost there?” the student riding shotgun asks.

“A few more miles.”

“You sure this is a good idea?”

“Look, these freshman need to be initiated so they can become full fledged members of our esteemed university.”

“Community college.”

“Yea, whatever. They gotta earn their stripes, man.” The driver extends his hand, “Beer me.”

An ice cold keystone finds its way into the man’s thirsty palm as our view pulls out of the truck and rises into the sky giving us an overhead shot of the pick up truck bouncing down a dilapidated road with a full moon illuminating its path.

A shot of the now infamous haunted house. The former OCW headquarters. A placed filled with curse and death. All is silent until the faint sound of tires crushing pavement approaches.

Our view cuts and the pick up truck’s headlights bear down on the home.

“Is that it?” the community college shotgun rider asks.

“Yep,” the driver kills his keystone and throws it over his shoulder, “that’s it. Get the fish out of the tank.”

“Excuse me?”

The driver scowls, “GET THE FRESHMAN OUT OF THE BED OF THE TRUCK.”

“Alright, fine.”

One by one the freshman are helped out of the back of the truck. They’re all blindfolded and only mildly terrified.

“Okay, fishy bitches!”

Silence. Even the partner in crime is like ‘wtf’. Again, the driver grows irritated.

“Just remove their fuckin blindfolds.”

One by one each blindfold is removed. The handful of freshman stand, staring up at the house in front of them. Each one’s imagination running wild with what awaits.

“Behind me you see…”

“A great investment opportunity?”

“No!” The driver eyes his partner. “Kick him in the shins for me.”

Stepping forward, the partner look at the over eager freshman, “Sorry.” He swiftly kicks him in the shins. The freshman leans forward, cursing.

“Any other stupid fishy questions? No? Good.”

The driver paces, cracking open another Keystone. “Behind me is a haunted house. THE haunted house. Inside is death. Inside is curse. Inside rests horrors you can’t even begin to imagine. IMAGINE!” The driver randomly screams, causing the freshman to jump.

“South Florida Keys West of The Gulf Community College Institute for Higher Learning and Education is an esteemed university.”

“Community college.”

“SHUT UP”

“Sorry.”

“It is an esteemed place of higher learning. Just because you enroll and pay tuition doesn’t mean you’re a member. You have to earn your spot.”

“Wha...what do you want us to do?” the kid with the sore shins asks with great hesitation.

“If you want to earn your spot then you need to go inside that house and retrieve an item. Bring it back to me and I will declare you an official member of our great...college.”

The freshmen start to murmur among themselves. A head pops up behind them and puts his arms around their shoulders. At first, they are unfazed. But, once they get a good look at the man they all leap back.

It’s LCP.

“Who the hell are you?” the shin aggrieved freshman asks.

Before LCP can respond he spots a beer in the driver’s hand. “Sweet. You guys here to party? I could use some company. It’s been pretty lame around here lately.”

He steps forward, reaching for the beer. The freshman watch him with horror.

“What is he?” one asks.

“He looks kinda sick.”

“Is he a zombie?”

“He might be undead.”

“OMG this place really is haunted.”

LCP reaches for the beer. The driver pulls it back. “Don’t be a dick, man.”

The driver, trying to maintain equanimity, is wondering, like the freshman, what LCP is. Slowly, he pushes the beer forward, “Are you...are you a zombie?”

“Thanks,” LCP snags the beer. He pops it open and takes a sip before nodding in the direction of the house. “Nah, that’s a zombie over there.”

They all turn. Zombie Marcus stumbles out of the house making all sorts of zombie noises. There is no question among the college students that he is, in fact, a fuckin zombie.

“Holy shit!” the driver yells, rushing toward his truck. The freshman and his partner all follow behind. They dive behind the truck, trying to hide from Zombie Marcus.

“Quiet!” the driver urges. A few whimpers. Heavy breathing. All the students with wide eyes and open ears.

Chomp. Chomp.

Chewing creeping up behind them. They turn around and see Mike Zybala.

“Ahhh!!”

Zybala jumps back. The taco in his hand goes flying.

“Damn,” Mikey Z laments the passing of his taco.

“Who...who are you?” the driver’s shaky voice asks.

Zybala turns toward the terrified students. He studies them. Slowly, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper.

“Mike Zybala and I would like to offer each of you a roster spot in Outsiders Championship Wrestling.”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” the driver screams. All the students dive into the truck. The engine fires up and they peel out leaving Zybala, LCP, and Zombie Marcus behind.

Our view pans away from the three participants and up into the sky at the full moon bearing down. It turns into a giant clock as the hands tick away the final seconds until the bell sounds.

~We cut to just outside the Haunted House. OCW play by play man, Smith is standing in front of the house with color commentator, Hood by his side~

Smith: Hello again everyone and welcome back to OCW! Welcome to Cursed Countdown!

Hood: OCW is the living embodiment of a promotional zombie that won’t fuckin die so how apropos we do some shit like this.

Smith: If you’ve been following along then you know of the curse that has plagued this great promotion since it’s inception in 1999. A curse that refuses to let this company prosper or, well, die. Keeping it’s corpse reanimated and malicious.

Hood: Always looking for the next crop of rookies to corrupt and crush.

Smith: Marcus Welsh is gone. Ownership was passed along to President Dean and, in a shocking move, he handed the keys of OCW over to his protege Derek Mobley.

Hood: Mobley is probably the nicest guy we’ve ever had run this place. I’m not sure how that’ll transfer. Nice guys finish last, you know.

Smith: Boy don’t I!

Hood: Reminds me, tell your wife I said hi.

Smith: ...anyway, 11 competitors have been recruited for a variety of reasons to enter into this cursed, haunted abode with two goals in mind. One, end this curse. The second? Walk out OCW Champion.

Hood: OG OCW Champion, by the way. The original title that Syren threw into the ocean like twenty years ago...back when oceans were filled with mermaids.

Smith: Hood’s opinions are his own, folks. But yes, rumor has it the original OCW Title is locked away inside that house somewhere and, as some theorize, may be the beating heart of the curse itself.

Hood: It did all seem to begin when Dean gave the OCW Title to Lurrr.

Smith: I remember that moment vividly. Brian Velocity was pissed.

Hood: Ah yea he was a bitch though so who cares.

Smith: Sounds like the curse is talking. We’re going to be stationed here for awhile as the field is whittled down to one, sole remaining wrestler strong enough

Hood: And sexy enough

Smith: To defeat this curse and walk out OCW champion!

~Laughter sounds out. Both Smith and Hood jump a little, looking over their shoulders~

Smith: Oh! Oh, whew...it’s just Tony the Spider.

Hood: Haha you jumped like a little bitch.

Smith: So did you!

Hood: Yea cause, ya know, I was jumping for joy because OCW is back.

Smith: Sure. Looks like Tony the Spider is heading inside to help officiate some of the matches.

Hood: Dude is just strutting in there like he’s walking into a McDonalds to get a McRib.

Smith: The man is fearless.

Hood: He the only ref we need? I mean we may not even have any matches tonight.

Smith: True, the rules for this one are unique, everybody. A match only takes place if two or more competitors wind up in the same room. Rooms are selected in advance without any knowledge as to how the other competitors are proceeding.

Hood: So, one ref.

Smith: Nope, at least two...because look who just arrived! It’s Amby Brooks!!

Hood: Why is she wearing shades? It’s like dark out here. The moon isn’t THAT bright.

Smith: She’s partially blind.

Hood: A partially blind ref. The curse strikes again.

Smith: Look, I’ve seen her in action. She can more than handle…

~A loud thud is heard as Amby shoulders right into the house, missing the entry way. She backs up, remains composed, feels around and steps into the house~

Hood: What was it you were saying?

Smith: She’ll be fine, trust me.

Hood: I mean she is fine, for a blind chick. Not sure how she’ll be able to call a match, though.

~Puffer steps into view~

Jack Puffer: Gentleman.

~Smith and Hood jump~

Jack Puffer: Whoa, easy. The ghosts and demons and zombies are inside.

Smith: Thanks.

Hood: Oh, I’m fine.

Jack Puffer: You jumped pretty high.

Hood: Yea, for joy. Like I said. Just happy the Red and Black of OCW is back.

Jack Puffer: Right. Well I’m heading inside. I’ll be serving as the host of this grand event.

~Puffer heads inside the house~

Smith: Jack Puffer, ladies and gentlemen...the modern day detective hosting tonight’s event to help bring justice to the deceased Cocco Ricci.

Hood: Boy I hope our viewers have been keeping up with their source material.

Smith: This would normally be the portion where I’d go into great detail about the event but, to be honest, this thing is so unique and unlike anything I’ve ever called I don’t think words would do it justice.

Hood: Time to walk the walk, eh?

Smith: We’ll watch this thing play out and I will do my best to keep you all informed as it goes along.

Hood: Mack’s in this, right?

Smith: Yes.

Hood: Thank god. Someone I can root for.

~The ground shakes~

Smith: Uh oh

Hood: Did you put on some extra weight or something since we last did this?

Smith: No. I’m in fine shape like always. I think something bigger is heading our way.

Hood: It’s not a T-Rex, is it?

Smith: If it is...don’t move. Their vision is based on movement.

~A shadow consumes Smith and Hood. They look up at a menacing figure. A bald menacing figure. It’s Harvey Marx! He stares down at the two OCW commentators who remain motionless~

Harvey Marx: Relax. I’m not a T-Rex. You two can move.

~They exhale~

Smith: Whew...Harvey! Good to see you!

Hood: Yea and for the record I wasn’t trying to hide or anything. I was just practicing hitting my mark and remaining still in front of the camera.

Harvey Marx: Whatever makes you feel better. Guys!

~Harvey places a massive hand on each man’s diminutive shoulder~

Harvey Marx: No event as grand and unique as Cursed Countdown could possibly take place without the world’s greatest promoter here to do the honors. And by honors I mean announcing the competitors!

Smith: Alright!

Hood: Wow...Mobley fired Belvedere.

Harvey Marx: Oh no. The good man Belvedere remains employed. This event just required something a little extra. It required The Big Ticket’s services!

Smith: I like the sounds of that...so when are we…

~Harvey pulls a mic out of his pocket. As he does, a zombie approaches out of nowhere. Harvey casually slugs the head off the zombie’s shoulders, knocking it out of frame.~

Smith: Whoa.

Hood: Did he just...

Harvey Marx: Ladies and Gentlemen!

~Smith and Hood look around. It resembles more of a set than an event. Crew members. Staff. Not a fan in sight. Until...~

“YURRRRRR!!”

~All heads turn as several boats head for shore. Inside the boats is the unmistakable army belonging to OCW wrestler Ball Ball…inside the boats are...THE GOONS~

Smith: The Goons are approaching!

Hood: You wanna talk about a curse? That moron Ball Ball and his fuckin Goons...that’s a curse!

“YURRRRR!!!!”

~The boats reach shore as the Goons jump up and down, cheering. A man steps off the boat and ashore...his long, skinny leg is unmistakable. It belongs to...BALL BALL~

Smith: Ball Ball is here!

Hood: Yea, no shit.

Smith: He will be competing at O Holy Fight during the holidays! Great to see him back!

Hood: Speak for your fuckin self

~Ball Ball places his fists atop his hips and stares up into the moonlight. He has a Burger King crown atop his head. He’s sporting a bed sheet around his shoulders, as a cape. And he’s wearing an avengers costume that was probably bought off the rack at Party City. The Goons go wild, jumping up and down and chanting “BALL! BALL! BALL! BALL!~

Smith: Ball Ball!! Get over here!

~Ball Ball struts forward as the goons continue to cheer~

Ball Ball: Ball Ball is here.

Smith: But the question is...why?

Ball Ball: To remind everyone that Ball Ball...is king!

“YURRRRR!!!!”

~The goons go wild, reaching into the ocean and ripping fish from the water. They throw the fish at Ball Ball’s feet~

Smith: Ball Ball...a true fisher of men.

~Ball Ball dances his way back to the Goons as they all disembark from their boats and surround the house for tonight’s event, acting as the fans. We cut to Harvey...he picks up a Zombie and breaks it in half over his leg~

Harvey Marx: Everybody...Goons and all...welcome to Cursed Countdown!!

“YURRRRR!!!”

~Ball Ball struts like a king~

Harvey Marx: Eleven OCW wrestlers will enter this haunted house. They will each select a room. If two or more competitors enter the same room they must fight until one remains. Whoever does not win the fight is eliminated. This will go on until we have one final wrestler in the house and that person will be the one to hopefully end the curse and reclaim the original OCW Title!

“YURRRRR!!!!”

~Harvey looks around. A very strange ground. He slugs another random zombie, knocking it’s head into the crowd of Goons. They volley it back and forth like a ball~

Harvey Marx: Well okay then. Anyway...let’s take it inside the Haunted House as the competitors are arriving!

~We cut inside the Haunted House. Puffer stands near the entry. It’s a strange looking interior. Much of what used to comprise the décor has either been removed or decayed. A bare, open entry with dark, dead looking walls. Everything seems to crawl around Puffer even though nothing is visibly moving. There are four doors surrounding Puffer on the bottom floor. A staircase behind him that leads up to a balcony that winds itself around into a full circle, dressing the interior. Four doors matching the ones beneath them reside on the second floor. Puffer’s eyes linger on the walls~

Jack Puffer: Is that black mold? Please tell me that isn’t…

~His eyes find the camera and realizes we are live~

Jack Puffer: Wahoa! Hey there everybody! I’m Jack Puffer and welcome to Cursed Countdown!!

~Puffer feels something on his arm and immediately swats at it. A giant spider falls to the ground and he stomps the life out of it~

Jack Puffer: It’s been a long road to this point. You all have been very patient. But, the time for waiting is over...let’s get to the action! It’s time for the opponents to enter the house and head to the rooms of their choice...first off…

one

Voice: Jack!

~Puffer turns around, hearing Zybala’s voice~

Jack Puffer: Mike? Is that you?

Mike Zybala: One and only! Just letting you know I’m back here. Back here in the yard. Back here in the backyard.

~Puffer starts to speak but gets interrupted~

Harvey Marx: Goons! Mike Zybala, the proud owner of Outsiders Championship Wrestling and a former OCW Tag Team Champion will spend this evening in The Backyard!!!

“YURRRRR!!!!”

Smith: Zybala in the backyard! That, well, that fits.

Hood: Guy needs to get out of the fuckin yard, man.

Smith: I’ll be curious if anybody else selected the yard. I mean they had to know there was a good shot they’d run into him there.

Jack Puffer: Okay...next up we have...LCP! Hey!

~LCP is about to stroll right past Jack~

LCP: Oh, hey. It’s you.

Jack Puffer: Yes, it’s me. Where are you heading?

LCP: I don’t know, I…

Voice: ARGH

~Zombie Marcus staggers into view, reaching for LCP. LCP darts away and scurries up the steps. He opens the nearest door and dives inside. Puffer looks down at a piece of paper~

Jack Puffer: Okay, it looks like LCP has selected…

~Again, he’s interrupted~

Harvey Marx: And there he is, goons! The one, the only Lewis Chad Pinkston who will be spending the evening inside the Home Office! What a selection!!

“YURRRRRR!!!”

~Puffer dead pans the camera as Zombie Marcus snarls and heads toward him. He looks down, grabs a dead rat and throws it out of view. Zombie Marcus heads in that direction~

Smith: Puffer probably wondering why we have a host and an announcer.

Hood: Well someone has to be inside that house and the Big Ticket isn’t gonna risk life and limb for this type of gig.

~Jack turns around to find himself face to face with arguably the most impressive physical specimen in the match. It’s Donnie Harris! The goons outside boo. Ball Ball pinches his nose and waves his hand in front of his face~

Jack Puffer: Donnie...didn’t hear you come in.

~Donnie surveys the place~

Donnie Harris: Yea, I’ve just been lifting. Was up late last night with some women.

Jack Puffer: Oh, okay.

Donnie Harris: If you’d like to ask me any anonymous questions, go for it.

Jack Puffer: I’m not really sure how that works so I’m gonna pass.

Donnie Harris: Your loss.

Jack Puffer: Right so, umm...you picking a room?

Donnie Harris: Yea, need to hit the gym again.

Jack Puffer: Workout room is right over there.

Donnie Harris: The grind never stops.

~Harris struts toward a door and rips it open. Puffer starts to speak but stops...he waits...and waits and...~

Harvey Marx: Goons!!

“YURRRR!!!

Harvey Marx: Donnie Harris has selected to spend his evening in the Workout Room!!

“BOOOOO!!!”

~Ball Ball has both thumbs down, encouraging his goons~

Smith: Well no surprise there from Donnie Harris. The man live to workout.

Hood: Explains how he’s able to answer so many anonymous questions. Rep, answer question, Rep, answer question, Rep, answer question.

Smith: It’s certainly one way to live.

~An ‘ah shit here we go again’ vibe hits. Puffer hears the front door open and sees a face familiar to all OCW fans. It’s Duce Jones!! Duce marches toward Puffer and looks him up and down~

Jack Puffer: Duce...man good to see you. Or, well, most of you.

~Duce’s rough shape being called into question~

Duce Jones: This place always has jokes. Da fuck’s the library?

Jack Puffer: Right over there

~Jack points over his shoulder. Duce bumps into Puffer showing very little regard for the event’s host. He opens the door and heads inside~

Harvey Marx: GOONS!

“YURRRRR!!”

Harvey Marx: Former OCW Tag Team Champion and pro wrestling legacy Duce Jones will be spending this evening inside The Library!

Smith: Good to see Duce back.

Hood: He’s resilient, man. The guy never quits. He, like Zybala, are at the top of the list of best wrestlers to never win the OCW Title.

Smith: Yep. Cursed Countdown could change all that...for either of them!

Voice: Where’s the fuckin booze

~Jack turns and sees Mack heading his way. It’s clear Mack isn’t there to chat~

Jack Puffer: Right over there.

~Puffer points to another room on the first floor. Mack never breaks stride. He pivots and heads for the wine cellar, opening the door and shutting it behind him~

Harvey Marx: Goons!!!

“YURRRRR!!!!”

Harvey Marx: OCW Hall of Famer Mack O’Connor will be spending the evening inside the Wine Cellar!!!

~Ball Ball pulls out a flask and takes a sip. The goons go wild~

Smith: As with Donnie Harris and the weight room...should come as no surprise Mack is heading for the alcohol.

Hood: Look if you’re gonna be forced to spend the fuckin evening inside a haunted house you might as well get liquored up.

Smith: That’s one way to go about it. So far we haven’t had any people share the same room.

Hood: It’s gonna happen, though. We got 11 wrestlers and only 8 rooms. A few people are gonna be forced to get to know each other real well.

Jack Puffer: Oh my!

~Puffer straightens up as Vhodka Black enters the mansion. He tries to fix his hair but, let’s be honest, it’s always in great shape~

Jack Puffer: Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Black!

~Vhodka scans the interior. It somehow makes Bent Fork look like Palm Beach~

Jack Puffer: Might I suggest the Guest Room? You seem to be alone this go around and, well, you might want to get to know your surroundings first…

~Vhodka’s eyes land on Puffer. She studies him. He goes stiff...take that as you will~

Vhodka Black: This isn’t a trick, is it?

~Puffer shakes his head ‘no’. Vhodka removes a vibrating hair brush and places it under Puffer’s nose. He gets one whiff of it and recoils~

Vhodka Black: Because, if it is, I’m going to demonstrate where I found this.

Jack Puffer: In someone’s ass.

Vhodka Black: Oh, wow. You’re a decent detective after all.

Jack Puffer: Thanks but I actually watched your promo.

~Vhodka’s body language goes casual~

Vhodka Black: Oh, what did you think?

Jack Puffer: It was enjoyable. Very entertaining.

Vhodka Black: Aww, thanks.

~They both laugh a bit before Vhodka gets back in his face, holding the brush under his nose~

Vhodka Black: This better not be a trick, Puffer.

~Vhodka slowly backs away, keeping her eyes on Puffer. She puts the brush back into her pants for safe keeping. She makes her way up the stairs and into the guest room, eyeing Puffer the entire way. The door opens and it shuts. Puffer starts to exhale...but the door is quickly opened again with Vhodka reiterating she’s got her eye on Puffer. He stiffens back up. Slowly the door shuts~

Harvey Marx: GOONS!!!

“YURRRRRRR!!!”

Harvey Marx: Vhodka Black has entered the Haunted House and will be spending the evening inside The Guest Room!

~A few of the goons let out some cat calls. Ball Ball immediately orders them to cease all positive yells, grunts, and moans. They do so, begrudgingly~

Smith: Six have entered and chosen a room to spend the evening inside. Five remain...there are two rooms that remain vacant.

Hood: The Sauna and the Home Theater. Pretty clear nobody in this fuckin contest wants to relax.

Smith: I’d be terrified of the Sauna.

Hood: That’s just because you’re terrified to take off your shirt.

Smith: Don’t judge me.

~We get a shot of the Sauna and the Home Theater, both eerily vacant. Orbs seem to float around. Glitches disrupt the feed. Despite appearing empty they feel very much alive. We cut away to The Home Office. LCP kicks around at the old, worn papers near his feet. A desk with an old, bulky computer screen hangs on for dear life near the center of the room. File cabinets surround the place...they are open, papers hanging out of them. Trophies, plaques, and historic photos hang from the walls. The glass casings on each broken or, at the very least, cracked. The only light is via the full moon shining in through an opened window. LCP finds his way over the desk where a headline reads “Cheasy M: The Joke of Pro Wrestling.”~

Cheasy M: That’s what they thought of me when Dean gave me the reigns of OCW over twenty years ago.

~LCP spins around. Cheasy M is behind him. A younger version. The version that was in charge of OCW all those years ago. His presence hangs by a thread~

Cheasy M: I know you picked this room thinking it might offer refuge. I’m sorry to say that won’t be the case. Adversity is heading your way and it’s almost here. All my life people have refused to take me seriously...sorta like the prison you find yourself in at times. So I’m here to help. I can offer you one gift to help you defeat what’s coming.

LCP: What are my options?

Cheasy M: It can be anything. For the moment, I’m the booker in charge here. But that window is rapidly closing.

LCP: This may sound crazy but what if someone told me in an alternate reality I won the 2021 Margarita Mix and eventually became OCW Champion.

~Cheasy looks at LCP~

LCP: What?

Cheasy M: I can’t read minds.

LCP: The event. That night. Is there anyway you could take me there.

Cheasy M: So you want me to book the venue.

LCP: Sure

Cheasy M: You got it.

~Cheasy M touches LCP on the shoulder and he passes out~

IF ONLY

~LCP stands inside an OCW ring. It’s situated smack dab in the middle of a football field. Ratliff Stadium in Odessa, Texas to be exact! It’s the Under the Lights PPV and the fans are going crazy!! LCP looks around as the fans chant “LCP! LCP! LCP!”~

Smith: Listen to these fans! LCP and Bam Miller were darkhorses heading into the Margarita Mix but through it all they were able to overcome every other team and earn that trophy.

Hood: Yep and tonight LCP looks to keep his hope of attaining the OCW Title alive

Smith: OCW has never been hotter! James Raven, Matt Knox, Thad Duke, Chris Page, Betsy Granger, Jason Cashe...plus all the OCW originals. A roster filled with talent and LCP is quickly becoming the best of them all!

Hood: I’m told Chris Madison just signed, too!

Smith: It’s insane. I’ve never seen this place so popular. It feels like nothing could derail our momentum!

Hood: Now let’s see who LCP has to face.

Smith: It should say on my format sheet here but it’s impossible to read and, I’ll be honest, I can’t recall who his opponent is now that you bring it up.

Hood: Yea, neither can I...this is weird.

ONLY IF

~We are back inside the house. It’s 2024. Current time. Donnie Harris is scouting the weight room. If there were any hopes of getting a quick workout in he finds them immediately dashed. All the equipment is damaged. He picks up a dumbbell and both weights on either end fall off due to years of erosion. He locates a treadmill~

Smith: Is that?

Hood: No way that’s THE treadmill.

~Dropping to one knee, Donnie Harris runs his hand along a dark, dark stain. Fragments of bone are embedded within it. He digs a few of them up and brings them near his eyes, taking a gander~

Smith: Ugh

~A voice startles Donnie. He looks up and sees the ghostly image of Y2James staring down at him. Y2James is missing almost half his head. It’s cracked wide open with brain matter and skull hanging out. His right eye missing. He drops down, staring at Harris who now seems transfixed onto James~

Y2James: Twenty-five years ago this stupid company sat back and let their star murder me. Their loud mouthed, annoying, shit talking star. All I wanted to do was wrestle and feed my family...but they put me in this fuckin weight room against a man with no regard for anything professional.

~Harris nods, rubbing the bone fragments between his index finger and thumb~

Y2James: The same fate might await you. A loud mouthed, disrespectful jerk off is heading your way. He’d have no problem doing to you what happened to me all those years ago. The man has no morals. He has no professional respect.

~The door to the weight room opens~

Voice: Sak Pase

~Donnie Harris rises, staring at the skull fragments in his hand. Y2James stands behind him now~

Y2James: Put an end to him, Donnie. Don’t let him do to you what Syren did to me.

~Slowly looking over his brow, raising his head, Donnie’s eyes find the source of his torment. The gnat that just won’t quit. He sees Henri Toussaint. Before Henri can open his mouth, Donnie charges!!! He picks Henri up and slams him into the wall! We cut to Puffer who can feel the walls shake~

Smith: Donnie Harris is going to be battling it out with Henri Toussaint!

Hood: Henri’s been talking a big game. He’s gotten under Donnie’s skin. Can Donnie shut him up?

Smith: He might wind up doing more than that if the apparent ghost of Y2James has anything to say about.

Hood: Imagine how fuckin pathetic you gotta be to be dead for 25 years and still holding a grudge. Go fuck some angels or something.

two

Mike Zybala: Everything okay in there, Jack?!

~No response~

Mike Zybala: I hope they didn’t unleash a kraken in there.

~Zybala goes back to digging~

Mike Zybala: Duce is on his way. I know it. Gonna finish this job this time.

~Zybala digs and digs. Hole is about 3 feet deep. He takes a breath and feels an arm around his shoulder~

Bob Grenier: Need any help?

~Mike turns~

Mike Zybala: Bob! You finally showed up!

Bob Grenier: For what?

Mike Zybala: Outsiders!

Bob Grenier: Oh, umm...yea man, I’m here.

Mike Zybala: Help me dig this hole so we can bury Duce alive. For real this time.

~No stranger to life on a farm, Bob helps out. Together they dig and dig, finally getting the thing six feet deep. They shake hands~

Mike Zybala: Great job.

Bob Grenier: A lot easier than digging an Amish grave. Those things are like nine feet deep.

Mike Zybala: Right. Well Duce should be here any moment...any moment…

~We cut to the library where Duce Jones rests comfortably, reading a book about the time Tommy Crimson couldn’t light himself on fire because Arryk Rage puked all over him. We cut back to the yard~

Bob Grenier: What’s that?

~Mike turns to see a pair of pale hands ripping the ground apart. Slowly, a body is pulled from the Earth. It looks like Meyhu only a tinier, shittier version. Plus, he’s got a lemon glow to him~

Mike Zybala: Matt Meyhu?

Mat Mayhue: That’s Outsiders Champion, Mat Mayhue!

Mike Zybala: What are you doing here...how long have you been in the ground?

Mat Mayhue: Too long

~Mayhue walks over to Bob and whispers something in his ear. Bob eyes Zybala~

Mike Zybala: You okay, Bob? Can I get you some Outsiders refreshments? We’ve got water fresh from the hose.

~Bob heads toward Zybala with Mayhue watching from behind. Zybala doesn’t seem to register that danger might be looming~

Mike Zybala: Bob...hold on. Duce will be out here any minute and…

~Bob reaches out and he grabs Mike by the neck with both hands, throwing him around like a rag doll. Zybala tries to regain the upper hand but Bob is too strong. He turns and holds Mike over the open grave~

Mike Zybala: Bob...what are you doing? I thought you were all in on Outsiders.

Bob Grenier: I don’t give a shit about Outsiders. I’m here for the OCW Title.

Mike Zybala: What did you just say?

Bob Grenier: Sorry, Mike. But I’ve gotta bury you alive.

~Grenier is about to throw Mike into the grave. However, overcome with fury over Bob’s besmirchment of Outsiders, Mike throws a knee into Bob’s groin!! Grenier stumbles back and Mike hits a SUPERKICK!!!! Bob falls, hard onto the backyard turf. Mike crawls away, trying to regain physical and emotional strength. Two hands rip out of the dirt! Mike rears back as a very hideous man pulls himself from the ground. He looks like a total fuckin loser~

Mike Zybala: Is it? Could it be?

~The loser pulls his body out of the dirt and he looks down at Mike~

Loser: I am janitor.

Smith: Hood! It’s the first two Outsiders legends! Mayhue and Janitor!

Hood: Mayhue seems to be backing Bob while, obviously, Janitor is backing Zybala.

Smith: Zybala made him a star. One of those men is going to get buried alive tonight.

Hood: Please it it be Mike. Bury him and Outsiders forever!

~Back inside the main house, Jack Puffer receives word through a walkie talkie that barely works~

Jack Puffer: What’s that? Buried Alive match? Zybala and Grenier? Geezus.

~Harvey takes it from there~

Harvey Marx: GOONS!

‘YURRRRR!!!’

Harvey Marx: I have just been informed that Bob Grenier and Mike Zybala...two OCW Hall of Famers are officially competing in a Buried Alive Match in the Backyard! The winner advances! The loser watches their OCW Title dreams get buried alongside them in the dirt!

~Ball Ball motions for some of the goons to follow him. They head around back to get a closer look of this epic match~

Smith: Ball Ball is ready to watch some Buried Alive action.

Hood: Geezus. You made that sound way too accusatory.

Smith: I’m just speaking facts.

Hood: You’re gonna give Ball Ball a weird rep if you keep it up.

~And we cut back inside. Jack Puffer hears the walls shake once more...the vibrations emanating from the weight room. He gets on his walkie talkie~

Jack Puffer: Does anybody know what’s going on in that weight room? Is Donnie working out too hard or something?

~As he does, our view pans into another room. It’s the Wine Cellar. Mack O’Connor stumbles around, it’s obvious his aging hip is giving him issues. There’s an old, wooden bar near the back and a door leading into where the wine is kept. He kicks the door open and heads inside, grabbing the first bottle he can find. Some light shines into the cellar and we see a clown hanging from a rope a few feet from Mack. Mack looks over, stares at the clown, gives a minimal reaction and heads back out, taking a seat at the bar and ripping the cork out of the bottle, taking a sip~

Mack O’Connor: Weak ass booking.

~The clown remains visible in the background. It’s eyes open. The rope from around its neck is cut. It falls to the ground. Mack sighs, taking another sip of his wine. The clown crawls out of the cellar and to the bar, pulling himself up and onto a stool~

Mack O’Connor: I’m not talking to a dead clown.

Clown: Sigh If only I were dead.

~Mack takes another sip of wine, finally placing his eyes on the alive clown~

Mack O’Connor: Wait, what?

Clown: I’m Glum. You probably haven’t heard of me.

Mack O’Connor: Nope, I have not.

Glum: I’ve been trying to hang myself all night but these ghosts keep cutting me down. It appears even the demons in this house won’t have me.

Mack O’Connor: I refuse to engage in this conversation.

~Glum grabs Mack’s wine bottle and shatters it against the edge of the bar. He takes the top of the bottle with a now jagged bottom and thrusts it into his throat. But a ghost rushes into view, preventing Glum from slicing the jugular. Glum sighs and looks at Mack~

Glum: See?

~Mack has no response. He stands and heads into the cellar and returns with two bottles of wine. He rips both open and hands one to Glum~

Mack O’Connor: Maybe you can drink yourself to death.

~Glum sighs and gives it the ole college try. We cut back to Puffer~

Jack Puffer: Can we get eyes on that weight room? I want to make sure Donnie isn’t lifting too hard in there.

~Another loud bang from within the weight room shakes the house~

Jack Puffer: Seriously. Smith? Hood? Can you guys hear me?

~Puffer slaps the walkie talkie against his hand a few times. The reception is getting worse and worse~

Smith: We need to get word to Puffer that Henri Toussaint is tussling with Donnie in there.

Hood: I’m on it. HEY HARVEY

~Hood shouts across the front yard at Harvey. Harvey nods~

Harvey Marx: GOONS!

“YURRRRRRRR!!!”

Harvey Marx: I have just been informed that Donnie Harris and Henri Toussaint are waging war in a Weight Room Match! The winner survives! The loser goes home!

~The Goons jump up and down for reasons that cannot be entirely explained. Back inside we see Puffer. He’s just heard Harvey’s announcement~

Jack Puffer: Seriously...why am I even here?

~Puffer buries his face in his hands. As he does, we see Lord Allton reach the staircase. A few ghosts gather around his chair and they lift him up, carrying him up the stairs and towards one of the doors. He enters into the door, vanishing from sight. We cut to the room. Allton, in his chair, stares down at the unconscious body of LCP~

Lord Allton: Perfect.

Voice: Hold on, Allton.

~Allton looks up to find the ghost of Marcus Welsh~

Marcus Welsh: It’s not going to be that easy.

~Welsh pauses for a moment~

Marcus Welsh: How did you get up here, anyway?

Lord Allton: Let’s just say I’ve spent some time getting acquainted with the place.

Marcus Welsh: That’s code for ‘I don’t want to know’ if I’ve ever heard it. Alright, listen man...I know I was never the greatest boss to you. I overlooked you. I never booked you. You deserved better.

~Allton leans back in his chair, taking each word Welsh utters with both care and critique~

Marcus Welsh: Tonight I want to extend an olive branch. Maybe assist you in achieving what every wrestler in this business wishes to achieve...the OCW Title.

Lord Allton: I’m listening.

Marcus Welsh: LCP got here first and someone with power they never should have been granted in the first place let him pick the venue. So I’m looking at you and I’m asking you what match stipulation you want...it can be anything.

~Allton looks down at his chair~

Lord Allton: Anything?

Marcus Welsh: Anything, my friend.

~Lord Allton cracks a smile~ IF ONLY

~The fans continue to chant LCP as the hot, Odessa summer night lathers the Margarita Mix champion up! Clapping his hands, he keeps the fans on their feet~

Belvedere: And his opponent!

~LCP spins around, hearing Belvedere’s voice. As he does, he sees Lord Allton standing in the opposite corner~

Belvedere: The most calculating man in pro wrestling history! The brains behind OCW...Lord Allton!!!

~The fans boo Allton. He turns and stands up on the middle rope, encouraging the them to boo louder. They happily oblige. LCP stares at Allton and, suddenly, a ladder appears between them~

Belvedere: This is a ladder match and it is for an OCW Title opportunity!

~Huge ovation from the fans as Lord Allton hops off the middle buckle and spins around, staring at LCP, through the ladder~

Smith: Lord Allton and LCP in a ladder match! An OCW Title opportunity awaits!

Hood: Nobody is hotter than LCP after his Margarita Mix victory...but Lord Allton, a perfect blend of brains and athleticism...stands in his way.

Smith: If you could create a pro wrestler that pro wrestler might be Lord Allton.

ONLY IF

~Our view slowly fizzles out as we are back inside the Home Office. Lord Allton is unconscious in his chair. We pull out of the Office and along the upstairs balcony toward the Guest Room~

Smith: Ah yes the Guest Room.

Hood: I hope the camera fuckin knocks before entering. Last thing we need to see is Vhodka doing whatever it is she does behind closed doors.

Smith: She does have that vibrating hair brush

Hood: Geezus. Things are about to really get horrific.

~We are entering the guest room. AVERT THINE EYES. Or don’t~

Hood: AHHH!!

Smith: Calm down.

Hood: What do you see? How bad is it?

Smith: She’s just walking around the room.

~Hood peeks through his fingers~

Hood: Oh, okay. Whew.

~Vhodka looks around the guest room. Like most of the rooms its in complete disrepair. There’s a bed that’s covered in spider webs, dust, and probably thousands of dead bugs. A broken window with the full moon pouring light down into the room provides visibility. The walls are covered with masks. Purge masks. These draw her attention...she pulls one off the wall~

Vhodka Black: James Raven

~She tosses it over her shoulder. She finds another~

Vhodka Black: Jason Cashe

~Tosses this one aside, as well. She grabs another~

Vhodka Black: Chris Page

~A heavy eye roll. She drops this one on the ground and crushes it under her foot. So many masks, all representing the purged. A book resting atop a dresser catches her eye. She inhales and blows hard. Dust flies everywhere. The title of the book is visible~

Vhodka Black: The Tears of the Purged

~She grabs the book and hops onto the dirty, dusty bed. A massive cloud of debris fills the air as she leans back and crosses her legs, opening the book. Inside are all the angry messages and tweets from the purged. She holds the book with one hand and the vibrating brush with the other, slowly bringing it to her hair. Her eyes scan the page. So much wonderful drama~

Smith: She could be up all night reading the amount of hate and hurt feelings we got during THE PURGE

Hood: I always knew she was a drama lover. And...you don’t think she’s gonna actually brush her hair with that thing, do you?

Smith: It’s just a wig so even if she does it’s not THAT bad

Hood: ugh

~Something causes her to laugh. Probably one of the Mac Bane Dms. Her eyes dart upward. She freezes. Something isn’t right. The room feels alive. Or, something in the room is alive. Slowly she puts the book down and surveys all the masks on the wall~

Smith: Something startled her.

Hood: Yea, the realization she can’t read.

Smith: She can read!

Hood: I don’t know...have you asked Catalina Cortes? She claims Vhodka can’t. I mean look at how her name is spelled.

Smith: So with Alice gone is Vhodka the new target for your derision?

Hood: Hey you know me and my misogyny.

~Vhodka slowly rises off the bed, hairbrush in hand. She leaves the book behind. She paces toward the back of the room, near a closet door. A singular mask hangs on the door, staring at her. It seems to follow her. She gets closer and closer to it~

Smith: Is that mask alive?

Hood: How did we reach the point in OCW lore where that’s a legitimate question?

~She gets nearer and nearer to the mask. It appears to have eyes behind it. Born and raised in Bent Fork. A survivor of TRIAD. Having been close enough to withstand the stench of Catalina. Vhodka fears very little. She nears the mask, narrowing her vision...she gets nearly nose to nose to the mask as it becomes very clear there are eyes behind it, staring right back at her~

Smith: I’d back away, Vhodka.

Hood: Close your eyes and make a wish, Vhodka.

~She slowly reaches for the mask as the two eyes behind it stare her down. Her hand nears the mask. The mask suddenly lunges at her as a whole as body comes crashing through the closet door!!! Vhodka staggers back, staring up at a menacing figure. It wraps both it’s hands around her neck and hoists her up, choking the life out of her. She scrambles, reaching down, feeling around the mask...she gets it removed and is face to face with Matt Knox~

Smith: It’s Knox!

Hood: Okay how long was he in there waiting? Seriously!

Smith: You saw what the man did to Rico Dominguez. Matt Knox is a very patient and calculating man.

Hood: Alright well I hope he chokes her out.

~Knox continues to choke Vhodka...her legs kick around as she tries to find a sensitive spot to drill Knox. But he’s in total control. She looks down and sees a familiar face..it’s Tony the Spider! He steps into the room and shuts the door behind her. She motions for his help but he has nothing to offer her~

Smith: Finally! A referee!

Hood: Or...was he just looking for a bathroom and accidentally walked into a murder in progress?

~Tony laughs nervously as Knox stares down at him. Vhodka takes the opportunity to thumb Knox in the eye!! Knox loses his grip...she hits the ground and crawls toward Tony, shoving him aside and reaching for the door...but it’s locked. She can’t open it. She looks over her shoulder. Knox holds his eye and heads her way. She looks back up at Tony...Tony motions toward the window~

Smith: The window! In order to win you must throw your opponent through the window and out of the house!

Hood: Were you the kid in Lassie? How the fuck did you decipher that?

Smith: It’s common sense. People were yeeted from OCW during the purge so you’ve got to yeet your opponent out of that room if you want to win.

Hood: Stop saying yeet. You’re old. Deal with it.

~Vhodka pops to her feet and slings the vibrating hair brush at Knox. He grabs her arm, displaying overwhelming strength and leans in with a huge headbutt that rocks Vhodka!! She staggers back against the wall. Knox rushes in with a huge knee lift into her gut, doubling her over. He applies a front face lock, squeezing down on her neck as he slowly drags her toward the window~

Smith: Knox wants to win but I think he wants to get his message across, first.

Hood: Guy is the Triumvirate Hunter, Smith. Triumvirate may not be a thing at the moment but that doesn’t mean the hunter sleeps. He vanquished Stratford inside The Illuminatus. Now he’s looking to end Vhodka’s last gasp at relevancy.

Smith: That’s a little bit harsh.

Hood: If she fails here where is she gonna go? What else is out there?

Smith: C’mon, Vhodka! You can do this!

~Tony grabs his Walkie Talkie to relay some info to Puffer as Knox continues choking Vhodka. We leave the Guest Room and are taken back to Puffer in the main entry~

Jack Puffer: What’s that, Tony?

Tony the Spider: Hahaha!

Jack Puffer: Matt Knox against Vhodka Black in a Yeet the Purged Match? Talk about marquee!

~Puffer awaits Harvey’s announcement~

Harvey Marx: GOONS!

“YURRRRRRR!!!!”

Harvey Marx: Our final match of the evening will be a Yeet the Purged Match!! It will be contested between Vhodka Black and Matt Knox! The first person to throw their opponent out of the house wins!

~The goons go wild!~

Smith: And we are set! Four matches this evening...four wrestlers will have their hopes and dreams dashed.

Hood: Okay so the Vhodka/Knox match. Donnie and Henri. Grenier and Zybala...what’s the fourth?

Smith: Whatever is going on with LCP and Allton.

Hood: Oh right…

~Harvey swings his mic, taking out another zombie in the front yard. The goons go wild. We fade back inside where Jack Puffer takes a seat on a clean fold out chair. He does his best to keep from touching much of anything. He crosses his legs and looks at his watch, sighing, waiting for the night to roll on. He looks at his watch~

10:00pm

three

~A loud bang from inside the weight room catches his attention. This time we give it ours, sliding in that direction, going through the door and getting a look at what’s taking place. Donnie is ramming his shoulder into Henri’s midsection, slamming him up against the wall over and over. Y2James hangs back, shouting words of encouragement, urging Donnie to show no mercy~

Smith: I’m not sure Donnie needed much coaxing but Y2James is there to grease the wheels, so to speak.

Hood: I forgot how much Syren fucked him up. His head is like half gone.

Smith: Yes. It was casual murder at its finest.

~Henri’s insides are taking a beating. Say what you want about Donnie but he’s fuckin strong. Toussaint knows he’s got to get Donnie off him, so he grabs Donnie’s ear and tries to tear it off. Donnie yells and stands upright, backing away! He pulls his head free and reaches for his ear...he looks at his hand and sees some blood. Furious, he turns back to Henri...but Toussaint jumps up and cracks him in the face with a knee lift. Harris staggers back into Y2James...who just goes right through him. Henri presses ahead but stops when he sees Y2James and his half missing head staring at him~

Smith: Yea, that’ll stop someone in their tracks.

Hood: Henri’s seen a lot in his life but nothing like this, I’m sure.

Smith: Henri has the same swagger and attitude Y2James hated. The same disrespect that got him stuck in this house.

Hood: Look I’m a Henri fan, too. But let’s pump the brakes when it comes to comparing him to a literal god of wrestling in Scott Syren.

~Henri can’t take his eyes off Y2James. Y2James stares back at him...then a fist comes flying through Y2James head and it smacks Henri right in the face!!! Toussaint drops to one knee as Donnie steps back through the specter of Y2James. He grabs Henri by the hair and drags him toward the treadmill~

Smith: He’s gonna try and do the same thing to Henri that Syren did to Y2James all those years ago!

Hood: Crush his head against the moving treadmill!

Smith: Does the thing still function, though?

Hood: I’ve seen zombies and ghosts, man. I’m sure a 20 year old treadmill can find a way to function.

Smith: Fair.

~We leave the weight room and find Puffer half asleep. Guy must be an early riser. A figure staggers past him, toward the staircase. Our view pulls back and we see ZOMBIE MARCUS. Snarling and drooling, he stumbles up the staircase, his nostrils following a scent. He reaches the top and leans against a door, his head leans against it. He smells and grunts. He leans back and throws his body forward, crashing through the door. Inside he sees the unconscious bodies of LCP and Allton~

Smith: Oh no. We need to get some security in there!

Hood: Shit he’s gonna eat both of them. I guess that’s how the match is decided. Now we know.

Smith: I’m not sure I can stomach cannibalism.

Hood: It’s probably like anything else you eat for the first time. You get used to it.

~Zombie Marcus stares at both LCP and Allton. He leans in close to Allton, who is helplessly unaware. He gets closer and closer~

Voice: Hold it right there, sucka!

~Zombie Marcus and his lifeless eyes turn facing the ghostly image of President Dean~

Zombie Marcus: Argh Argh!

President Dean: That’s not how we’re gonna do things tonight, sucka. But I will offer you an opportunity just like these other two chump suckas got offered. I knew your dad. Hell, I watched you grow up.

~Dean steps toward the zombie~

President Dean: I’d be lying if I said seeing you win this whole thing wouldn’t make me proud. So...you tell me what you want. I can give you anything that’ll help you in whatever fuckin match these two suckas are dreaming up.

~The eyes of Zombie Marcus flash a bit of life behind them~

Zombie Marcus: Argh! ARGH

President Dean: Say no more, Sucka. Say no more.

IF ONLY

~The crowd goes wild as Allton and LCP lock up in the center of the ring, underneath the ladder! Both men tempting fate! Allton knees LCP in the gut and whips him toward a corner. LCP hits the buckles hard. Allton, crouching to fit under the ladder, charges forward with a huge clothesline! He whips LCP out of the corner and toward the ladder! LCP runs up the ladder and leaps off with a moonsault!!! The fans go wild “LCP! LCP! LCP!” LCP pops up to his feet feeding off the energy~

Smith: Look at him go! An athlete among athletes! The fan favorite! LCP is the future of pro wrestling!

Hood: Yea but he’s gonna have to do more than that to keep Lord Allton down.

~LCP grabs the ladder and folds it up. He raises it high. Allton is now on all fours...LCP is ready to bring it crashing down onto his back when it’s yanked from him!! LCP turns around and finds himself staring Marcus Ka’Derrion down! The fans go wild~

Smith: It’s Marcus Ka’Derrion!

Hood: I guess he saw that Xavier Lux was main eventing and wanted to get in on the OCW action!

Smith: He looks to be in tremendous shape!

Hood: LCP and Allton have their work cut out!

Smith: Indeed! This is now a triple threat ladder match with an OCW Title shot hanging in the balance! Unbelievable!

~Ka’Derrion throws the ladder out of the ring as he and LCP stare each other down. Allton sits up in the corner, watching both men. Our view glitches and fades back into reality where we find Zombie Marcus on the ground, unconscious. President Dean’s image fades into darkness~

ONLY IF

Smith: I’m not sure what’s going on with those three but it’s apparent their bout is taking place somewhere our eyes can’t reach.

Hood: Best of luck to all three. You don’t want to fuck with mind games.

Smith: Not at all.

~We head back into the Guest Room. Knox cranks down on his front face lock, choking Vhodka out. She tries hitting him with her vibrating hair brush and manages to wave it across his face. He gets a whiff and lets her go wondering what the hell that smell is. She gets to one knee, coughing. Her face red with irritation. Knox shakes off the stench and throws a big boot at her head. But she tucks and rolls forward, snaring the James Raven mask. She spins around and smashes it over Knox’s head!! Knox shakes hit off. Vhodka looks down at the remnants of the Raven purged mask~

Vhodka Black: These masks are cheap as shit.

Matt Knox: Classic OCW, baby!

~She throws a kick into his chest, sending him slamming back against the wall. She tries to hit him in the head with her brush, but he dives forward, wrapping his arms around her body and picking her up. He dives ahead and slams her into the dresser against the wall, shattering it!! She’s down, mixed in with the pile of rotted rubble while Knox gets to both knees, holding his head, dazed from the impact~

Smith: A violent scene taking place in there. Knox is using his strength advantage to manhandle Vhodka while she’s doing everything she can to keep him at bay.

Hood: Just throw her out the window, Knox. Don’t fuck around.

~We get a view of the moon pouring down through the jagged guest room window. Our view pans through the window before turning down and watching Zybala and Grenier battling in the backyard. We hover over the two Hall of Famers. Mayhue backing Bob up while Janitor is in Zybala’s corner. Grenier holds his chin, recovering from the superkick while Mike holds his heart~

Mike Zybala: You wounded me, Bob! YOU WOUNDED ME

Bob Grenier: Sorry, Mike. But Outsiders will always be an afterthought as long as the OCW Title is in play.

~Zybala lets out a scream, charging at Bob. Bob catches him and spins around, throwing Mike into the dirt with a Spinebuster. Bob pops back up and punches Janitor in the face, knocking him into the hole. Mayhue looks down into the ‘grave’~

Matt Mayhue: Nice punch.

Bob Grenier: Is he dead?

~They listen~

Janitor: I AM JANITOR

Matt Mayhue: Yep. Might want to…

~Bob throws Mayhue into the hole~

Bob Grenier: Sorry but I’m gonna bury Outsiders history alongside Mike tonight.

~Mike SUPERKICKS Bob in the back of the head!! He stumbles and falls forward, narrowly missing the grave! Bob face plants next to it as Zybala drops to one knee, holding his heart and staring up at the moon~

Mike Zybala: Why does everyone hate Outsiders? All I’ve ever done is pour my heart and soul into it and the only person who seems to have my back is the fuckin Janitor.

~We leave a forlorn Mike and head back through the doors into the main entry way where Puffer remains asleep. His phone beeps~

11:00pm

Smith: We’re rapidly approaching midnight.

Hood: What does that mean, exactly?

Smith: Well, for starters, I wouldn’t feed any furry creatures.

Hood: Okay so no food for Bob.

Smith: Outside of that...I don’t really know.

Hood: I figure this thing goes until the sun comes up, right?

Smith: I think it goes until it goes.

Hood: Well that’s just fuckin great.

~With the clock running past 11pm we float away from the sleepy Puffer and back into the Weight Room. Donnie clobbers Henri on the back of the head, keeping him on all fours. He grips a handful of Henri’s head and drags it over the treadmill~

Y2James: Let the hate flow. Destroy the gnat.

~Y2James puts his hand on the treadmill and it activates. The tread slowly moving. It picks up speed...quicker and quicker. Donnie has Henri’s face inches from it. It picks up more pace. The tread looking jagged and tough~

Y2James: Do it. Crush his face!

~Donnie drives Henri’s head toward the damaging tread...but Henri snags a freeweight and SLAMS it into Donnie’s face!!! Donnie stands upright and stumbles back, holding his nose. Again, he finds blood on his hand. Y2James stands behind him, whispering more poison into his ear, the eyes of Donnie appearing black and devoid of his usual self. Henri stumbles to his feet, free weight in hand~

Henri Toussaint: Imma beat the demon out yo azz

~Henri slams the weight into Donnie’s head again and again. Y2James winces, reaching for his damaged skull. A bond between the two attempting to withstand the test. Henri can sense he’s got this bond on the verge of breaking. He rears back for a crushing blow...but Donnie ducks and hoists Henri on his back...he charges toward the treadmill and drops him with a Samoan Drop onto the tread!! Henri yells out in pain, stop on top of the treadmill, the tread raking against his back. Donnie staggers to his feet, holding his bloodied and battered head as Y2James continues to infect him with his aura~

Smith: Y2James has a hold of Donnie Harris, using the man as his vessel for revenge.

Hood: If only the fucking guy was this interesting when he was, ya know, alive.

Smith: Maybe he was...Syren just killed the guy in his second match.

Hood: Ah, Syren. What a guy.

~Donnie picks up the weight Henri was using to bash his head in. He stands over Toussaint who remains stuck on the running treadmill. We float upward, through the ceiling and into the Home Office as LCP, Allton, and Zombie Marcus all remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

~Marcus Ka’Derrion throws LCP out of the ring!! He flies over the top rope and lands atop the football field, near the ladder. Ka’Derrion turns his focus to Allton, who is now standing. Allton raises both hands, offering a test of strength. The fans chant ‘YES! YES!’~

Smith: Listen to these fans! They are eager to see Marcus Ka’Derrion can out muscle Lord Allton!

Hood: These fans are at a fever pitch for this match!

~Allton and Ka’Derrion lock hands and begin the test of strength. Allton takes the initial advantage, turning Ka’Derrion’s hands over and getting him down to one knee. But Marcus fights back!! The fans chanting for the pro wrestling legacy. He fires back to his feet and turns Allton’s hands over. Allton is about to drop to one knee when he kicks Ka’Derrion in the gut!! Marcus doubles over and Lord Allton drops him with a DDT!! Huge impact!!! Allton kips up and hits the ropes!! Marcus pushes himself back up and spins around only to get nailed with a Claymore Kick!!! Marcus drops to the mat and rolls out under the bottom rope. Lord Allton is back on his feet in a flash~

Smith: Strength and Agility...a combination that serves Lord Allton well.

Hood: Future OCW Champ right there, Smith. I’m calling it.

Smith: He has the talent. LCP has the momentum. Marcus has the element of surprise. One of them will find their way to the top of the OCW mountain!

~LCP slides in behind Allton! The fans go wild. Allton spins around as LCP charges at him. Allton throws a clothesline. LCP ducks and jumps at the ropes...he dives through them kicking Marcus in the face with both feet!! Ka’Derrion falls back into the grass. LCP then skins the cat, jumps up onto the second rope, springboards off and hits Lord Allton in the face with a Pele Kick!!! Allton hits the mat and rolls out of the ring! The fans go wild “LCP! LCP! LCP!” LCP fires up and points toward the ladder! The fans go crazy~

Smith: LCP in control! If he gets that ladder into the ring this might be over!

Hood: From Margarita Mix champion to OCW Title holder...I can dig it!

Smith: This is how a star is born!

ONLY IF

~The entire scene glitches before vanishing away. We’re back in the quiet, depressing, dark room with three unconscious bodies. Our view slowly departs, heading back toward the Guest Room. Knox digs through the debris of the demolished dresser...but it’s just a bunch of withered wood. He looks atop the bed and sees the leather bound ‘Tears of the Purged’ book. A smile crosses his face as he snags it and stands over Vhodka. Vhodka crawls through the debris, she’s still got that hairbrush in hand. Knox slams the book into her back! Leather meets skin! She yells out, arching her back in pain~

Smith: Ouch!

Hood: Now she’s feeling some of the purged people’s pain.

~Knox kicks Vhodka in the back of the head, flattening her out on the ground. He places the book on the back of her head and raises his boot for a curb stomp. Tony looks on, fearing the worst. Knox raises his leg...but gets pulled off Vhodka!! He spins around and comes face to face with a Mummy~

Smith: It’s a Mummy!

Hood: Say that again?

Smith: A mummy!!!

~Knox mouths ‘what the fuck?’ The Mummy, eyes barely visible through all the white wrapping around his body, throws a punch at Knox!! Knox blocks it and headbutts the Mummy, sending is stumbling into the closet. He boots the Mummy in the chest! The Mummy’s body slams into the wall, breaking built in shelves to the ground. Knox grabs the door he broke through and slams it shut. He turns around and gets smacked in the face by the Tears of the Purged book!!! He stumbles around...Vhodka hits him with it again and again...Knox falls onto the bed, bent over. Vhodka looks at his ass and the vibrating hair brush in her other hand. Tony cover his eyes~

Smith: Oh my

Hood: From purged to surged

Smith: Excuse me?

Hood: That brush is gonna surge its way up his ass.

Smith: Sorry I asked.

~Our view flies away, terrified of what’s going to happen next. We take a gander outside as Zybala is back on his feet, dealing with his emotions. Bob remains down, next to the grave. Zybala stands over him and kicks at him. He tries to kick him into the grab...but Bob grabs his leg. Bob pops to his feet and takes Zybala to the hard ground with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!!! Zybala clutches his leg in pain as Grenier fights to his feet~

Smith: Mike feeling a little down. A little depressed. He gave Bob too much time.

Hood: Can’t take your eye off the prize, Mike. But, I guess if he knew that he’d have won the OCW Title by now.

Smith: RUDE

~Grenier looks for a weapon. He finds a 2006 laptop running Windows 7. It’s thick and heavy. He stands over Mike. Zybala clutches his knee and looks up...he sees the laptop in Bob’s hands~

Mike Zybala: No Bob, not that!

~Grenier rears back with the laptop~

Mike Zybala: Not the official Outsiders sound system!

~Grenier smacks Zybala in the head with the laptop!! A sickening thud!!! Mike falls over as Grenier looks at the dented laptop. It begins to play a MIDI version of Mike’s theme song~

Smith: Devastating setback Outsiders may never recover from.

Hood: Grenier is really doing the lord’s work here tonight.

~Grenier snaps the laptop in half, killing the music. “YURRRRR!” is heard from over the fence. He looks and sees Ball Ball standing on top of a few goons, watching with his burger king crown on. Other goons shake the fence, cheering. Mike crawls away, feeling around the ground. Grenier pulls himself away from the distraction and goes back after Mike. Zybala flips over onto his ass and throws a cricket flip phone at Bob, smacking him in the head!! Bob stumbles...Mike grabs the two halves of his precious laptop and struggles to his feet...he pancakes Bob’s head with both sides of the laptop!!! Bob responds by kicking Mike in the balls!! Both men fall to their knees before collapsing to the ground. The goons go wild~

Smith: Vicious brawl going on out there. Mike just used the company phone to halt Bob’s progress.

Hood: Say what you want about Mike but he’s resourceful.

Smith: That he is.

~We enter back in through the back door as Puffer remains asleep. His phone buzzes once more...the night continues to deepen and darken~

MIDNIGHT

four

Smith: We’ve reached Midnight, folks and there are no survivors.

Hood: We’ll get some soon. When is sunrise?

Smith: 7 am, I think.

Hood: Holy shit that’s a long time away.

~Our view heads back into the Weight Room as the morning hours begin. Donnie stands over Henri with the free weight. Y2James urges him to bash it into Henri’s skull. Donnie raises it high and brings it crashing down...but Henri moves!! Donnie slams the weight into the treadmill!! He stumbles back, holding his hands in pain. Henri crawls away, reaching for his back...it’s all scratched up and bloody. He gets pissed and starts talking shit~

Smith: Henri’s mouth is running.

Hood: That’s not gonna make Donnie happy.

~Donnie hears some of the insults. As Henri’s anger and contempt for Donnie continues to express itself a manifestation appears next to him. Y2James suddenly shows fear. He urges Donnie to attack Henri. Henri continues to hurl insults~

Smith: What’s going on next to Henri?

Hood: I’m just along for the ride, man. I have no fuckin clue.

~Before long it becomes obvious, a spectral replica of Scott Syren stands next to Henri. Y2James steps back in fear as Syren heads his way. He reaches out, grabbing what’s left of Y2James’ head and ripping it apart! The spirit of Y2James vanishes and so does the occupied look in Donnie’s eyes. He returns to normal and looks at his pained hands...he feels his injured ear...he holds his bloodied nose. He then hears Henri insulting him~

Smith: Donnie is back. Y2James is gone.

Hood: For good this time, I hope.

~Henri charges at Donnie. Donnie doesn’t back down! The two men exchange right hands! A brawl in the middle of this dilapidated weight room! Henri rips at Donnie’s injured nose! Donnie stumbles back. Henri charges forward, but Donnie catches him, spins him around, and drops him across his knee with a til-o-whirl back breaker! Henri’s raw back bleeds with pain as he yells out! Syren looks on, loving violence and giving this whole thing a thumbs up before vanishing back into the ether~

Smith: Donnie Harris has his wits about him once again. If he can shut Henri up he’ll survive this first night.

Hood: He’s got to stay focused. Henri might be a lot of talk but the dude is no slouch.

Smith: He wouldn’t be here if he was.

~We float back up through the ceiling and into the Home Office. The three men remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

~We’re back at Under the Lights in 2021! LCP has the ladder and is setting it up inside the ring, underneath the prize that hangs above. It’s a bit blurry and difficult to make out but LCP is going for it. He secures the ladder and starts to climb~

Smith: LCP has a shot!

Hood: Wait, look!

Smith: Marcus is getting back in the ring!

~Ka’Derrion slides back in. LCP throws a kick at him from halfway up the ladder...but Marcus ducks it and gets LCP on his shoulders. He turns, his back facing the Ladder and he falls back with an Electric Chair, slamming LCP back first into the ladder!!! LCP hits hard and arches his back in pain! Marcus gets back to his feet but he immediately gets run over by a lariat from Lord Allton~

Smith: Great move by Marcus to save the match but now Lord Allton has used that window of opportunity to his advantage.

Hood: Dude is always thinking. Always.

~Lord Allton folds the ladder back up and lays it on the mat. He pulls both Marcus and LCP to their feet, booting them in the gut, each. He brings them in and hooks them both for a suplex...Lord Allton hoists them up...way up! He shows off tremendous core strength by having both men up for a vertical suplex. He then drops them both on their heads with a Double Brainbuster onto the ladder!! HUGE impact!! The fans pop as Allton reaches for his tailbone, wincing in pain~

Smith: What strength! Lord Allton is so impressive!

Hood: Dude is strong, no doubt about that.

Smith: If he can shake off the pain from that impact he’s got a great shot to win this match!

ONLY IF

~The scene freezes and glitches. It goes black and white as we fade away and back into the quiet, sad room featuring three men all unconscious. Our view exits the room and heads back toward the Guest Room~

Smith: The three warriors remain asleep...battling in their dreams, I can only surmise.

Hood: Dreams or nightmares...or maybe a little bit of both.

~Vhodka has the vibrating brush in position. She turns it on and it starts to make that noise we’re all too familiar with. Knox’s eyes widen...he knows that noise as well. He flips over and puts both of his feet into Vhodka’s chest and kicks forward! She flies back, into the closet door, crashing through it, completely demolishing it. She lands next to the Mummy, who remains out~

Smith: Vhodka is trying but I think Knox is just too strong for her...especially in such closed quarters.

Hood: Maybe but she’s got the mummy on her side.

Smith: Assuming the mummy is alive.

Hood: Or animated. Not sure he was ever alive.

~Knox rises and heads for the closet. Vhodka reaches over, feeling around the Mummy. The vibrating hair brush is now free from her grasp for the first time this evening. She frantically feels around for it. Knox kicks what’s left of the door in and smashes through it. He reaches down, snaring Vhodka by her hair and dragging her out of the closet. She rips off some of the Mummy’s white paper wrapping. Knox pulls her up and she immediately wraps what she’s got around his throat and spins him around. She hooks her legs around his body like a backpack and pulls back, choking him!! Knox’s eyes widen...he staggers around. He tries to get the paper off his throat but it’s pressed too tight~

Smith: Vhodka is doing the choking now!

Hood: Ya know...there are easier ways to court one another, you guys. Just go out on a date or something.

~Knox stumble around...he staggers. He’s in trouble. He throws his body back and slams Vhodka into the glass window!!! It shatters!!! Some glass cuts her shoulder...she reaches immediately for the wound, letting Knox go. He falls to one knee, gasping for air as our view exits through the window and heads back to the yard where a fresh pile of glass litters the scene~

Smith: Vhodka almost went through that window.

Hood: Knox is close, man. If he can knock Vhodka out on night one then he’s the heavy favorite.

Smith: Two of the biggest favorites clashing on this opening night.

~Grenier’s head is ringing. He looks over and sees the glass fall from above, landing in the yard. He glances Zybala’s way. Mike is holding onto his balls, wincing. Grenier struggles to his feet and he heads for Mike. He pulls Mike up...but Mike leans in with a headbutt! Grenier is wobbly! Mike punches him over and over, sending Bob stumbling away from the glass and toward the grave~

Smith: Mike is firing up!! He can win this!

Hood: It would be kind of hilarious if he lost in the setting that was made for him.

Smith: Stop saying such hurtful things!

Hood: Your mother was a whore.

Smith: Ah!

~Zybala measures Bob up for a SUPERKICK!! right into the grave!! He takes a step back...but his leg buckles!!! Bob fires up, kicking Mike in the face!! Zybala staggers back toward the glass. Grenier kicks Mike in the gut and hooks his head. He spins around, positioning Mike for a DDT onto the glass~

Smith: No, not this!

Hood: This how Zybala becomes ZyBALDa!!!

~Mike fights it off...he rises up and lifts Grenier into the air! The GOONS go wild as Mike slings Grenier down, hard atop the glass with an ALABAMA SLAM!!!! Grenier hits hard and yells out, arching his back...shards of glass piercing his skin. Ball Ball pumps his fist in the air as the goons go wild~

Smith: Oh my gosh! Alabama Slam into the glass!!

Hood: I know one fan who’s gonna be proud of that spot.

Smith: Indeed!!

~Mike looks down at the carnage he just caused. It’s a bit startling and gives him pause. Our view travels back through the doors and into the house where Puffer has a ghost rubbing his shoulders. A feminine ghost that looks an awful lot like Jade Spritz. His phone beeps~

1:00am

Smith: The night gets deeper. These wrestlers are gonna start to run out of time.

Hood: Time is of the essence, people. You gotta get out of those rooms a victor or you’re fucked, right?

Smith: I’d imagine so. I think it’s up to the house, really.

Hood: Whatever the fuck that means.

~We’re taken back into the Weight Room. Henri is on all fours, reaching for his raw back. Donnie drops to his knees and begins raking away at Henri’s back, forcing the Haitian Sensation to scream out in pain once more. Donnie looks over and sees the running treadmill~

Smith: Y2James may be gone but Donnie still has familiar designs.

Hood: When in Rome, do as the romans do. When in a haunted weight room smash someone’s head against an ancient treadmill.

~Donnie hammers the back of Henri’s head with a few right hands, keeping the pro wrestling rookie stymied. Behind him we hear a loud thud. A figure falls to the ground. Slowly they rise, holding their head...it’s OCW special referee Amby Brooks! She’s got her sunglasses on. She reaches around with her hands, trying to find something to hold on to. Donnie looks over his shoulder wondering what the hell he’s looking at...is it some kind of sexy mummy zombie?~

Smith: There she is! Our partially blind referee!

Hood: Was wondering what happened to her.

Smith: It’s tough to navigate this place with two good eyes let alone none.

Hood: I guess she’s going to be the deciding authority on who survives this match.

Smith: Uh, yea.

~Harris drags Henri toward the treadmill where he once again seeks to smash him, face first into the running tread. But Henri elbows Harris sharply in the ribs! Harris leans forward, gasping for air. Amby hears the noise and rushes over...she bends down, trying to see if everyone is okay...but she bends down facing away, her ass pointed at both men. Henri pauses, getting a good look so Donnie leans to the side, headbutting Henri!! Henri’s body tumbles away from the treadmill and against the wall, a bunch of worn and broken weights surrounding his body. Harris staggers to his feet, clutching his ribs~

Smith: You’ve got to stay focused!

Hood: Something it takes rookies awhile to learn especially when a nice ass is pointed right in their face.

Smith: Hey, no objectifying on commentary! Not while I’m around.

Hood: I’m literally just calling the action.

~As Harris heads for Henri we float back upward and into the Home Office where all three men remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

~Lord Allton sets up the ladder with both Ka’Derrion and LCP down. He looks up at what’s above. It remains unidentifiable. Allton grabs onto the ladder and he takes a step. He takes another. Then another. The fans rise with anticipation~

Smith: Lord Allton is nearing halfway up that ladder! The ultimate prize awaits!

Hood: Wait...I think LCP is moving!

Smith: So is Marcus!

~Ka’Derrion and LCP stir. They look up and see Allton reaching up, his fingers nearly grazing the prize. They look at each other and hurry to their feet. Together they grab the ladder and lift it off the mat! Allton reaches for the prize but misses it! LCP and Marcus throw the ladder out of the ring! Allton yells as he goes tumbling off the ladder and into the crowd!!! The fans go wild! ‘HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!’ Marcus and LCP stagger into opposite corners, holding their heads~

Smith: Unbelievable fall suffered by Lord Allton!

Hood: To win it all sometimes you have to risk it all.

Smith: Such amazing action in this one…I don’t know how these guys keep getting up.

Hood: The Knife Man has good drugs, Smith.

~LCP and Marcus rise up out of their corners, fighting the pain that’s corrupting their skulls and they rush toward one another much to the crowd’s glee. Fists begin flying as a brawl breaks out in the center of the ring! Ka’Derrion whips LCP into the ropes...he bounces off...Marcus goes for a leapfrog! But LCP catches him and throws him to the mat! He falls back with a Catapult! Ka’Derrion flies into the corner….but he lands on the middle buckle. LCP kips up and spins around...Ka’Derrion jumps off with a reverse cross body, taking LCP down!! The fans go wild!! Marcus gets to his knees and punches at LCP’s head~

Smith: The Margarita Mix champion is down!

Hood: The prodigious Ka’Derrion is on top looking to join his fellow prodigy, Xavier Lux at the top of the OCW food chain!

ONLY IF

~The image pauses and fades away. We’re back in the dark, quiet room staring at the three unconscious men. We leave the room and head back to the wild brawl taking place inside the Guest Bedroom. Vhodka fights through the pain in her cut shoulder. She stands up and delivers a palm strike to a dazed Knox...but he dodges it and grabs her arm...he immediately applies a shoulder lock and forces Vhodka to the ground. He places his right hand onto her shoulder and digs into the wound, blood oozing between his fingers~

Smith: Knox once again showing no mercy.

Hood: When you’re hunting dangerous game you can’t hesitate. We all saw how dangerous Vhodka is in TRIAD. Knox witnessed it firsthand.

~Knox takes his bloodied hand and balls it into a fist, slamming it across Vhodka’s face. She teeters on the brink of unconsciousness. He rears back to hit her again...but sees the Mummy emerging from the closet~

Matt Knox: The fuck I ever do to this Mummy

~Knox bitches, grabbing Vhodka and slamming the back of her head against the wall, near the shattered window. Knox gets to one knee and sees the Tears of the Purged book nearby...he grabs it and throws it at the Mummy. It hits the Mummy in the face. Knox fires up to his feet, charges forward and he boots the Mummy with Little Drop of Poison! The big boot sends the Mummy flying back into the closet, crashing against the wall. Knox turns to go back after Vhodka...but she’s gone~

Smith: Uh oh...where did she go…

Hood: More Trailer Park voodoo from the Bent Fork Witch

Smith: That Mummy keeps giving her time.

Hood: You think it’s the newest member of Triumvirate?

Smith: I dare not speculate when it comes to mummies

~Knox sees blood on the wall, smeared in a direction. He tries to follow it to find Vhodka...it leads him to look under the bed. He drops down, bringing his head to the floor...only for Vhodka to jump on his back from behind!! She grabs at his face, clawing at his eyes as he rises, trying to get her off of him. The moonlight shines in through the window as Vhodka attacks Knox’s face. Down below, in the yard, Ball Ball points up at the guest room window as the goons yell ‘YURRRR!’ They see the darkened silhouette of a feral, wounded Vhodka attacking Knox’s face. Zybala looks up, noticing it as well~

Smith: The action is picking up as everyone is getting a glimpse into the lengths people are willing to go to survive.

Hood: There is pure hate and animosity crawling within that house. It’s infecting the participants. Especially the goons.

Smith: Oh come on...how is it affecting the goons?

Hood: They are exceptionally goonie tonight

~Zybala can sense the violence that is clouding his judgment. He grabs the winded Bob Grenier and drags him near the grave. Bob fires up! He pushes Zybala back and takes a swing at him with a piece of glass in his hand. Mike ducks and kicks Bob in the gut! Bob doubles over! Mike hooks Bob for a powerbomb, looking to toss him into the grave. But Bob blocks it!! Bob raises up, looking to throw Mike into the grave with a backbody drop~

Smith: Bob’s about to toss Mike into that grave!

Hood: There is no room for benevolence in this house, Mike. Put your opponent down.

Smith: Distractions galore causing combatants in all four competitive rooms to lose their focus at times during this evening.

Hood: Focus is key. Ignore the spooky bullshit.

~Grenier yells out and throws Zybala over and into the grave!!! The goons go wild as Ball Ball throws his fist into the air! Mike flips into the grave but he doesn’t go all the way in! JANITOR breaks his fall! Mike grabs onto the soil and holds on. Grenier turns around and begins stomping on Mike’s hands and kicking at his face, trying to shove him down into the grave~

Smith: Say what you want about the Outsiders legends but they are loyal to Mike.

Hood: I mean you give a stray some food and sure they’ll stick around. It’s still a stray, though.

~Mike catches one of Bob’s kicks and sweeps the other leg! Grenier hits the ground. Mike begins dragging him toward the grave!!! Grenier tries to grip the earth to hold on but several pale hands emerge from the ground, pulling his hands free! Zybala drags him into the grave as both men disappears into the dark hole. Our view floats away and back into the house where Puffer remains asleep. The spirit of Jade Spritz massages his shoulders as he lets out a moan...his phone buzzes~

2:00am

Smith: Seems like Puffer might be getting the best treatment out of anyone.

Hood: Yea until she sucks his soul from his body.

~We’re back in the Weight Room. Donnie bends over to grab Henri...but Henri slams a free weight into his midsection. Donnie stumbles back. Henri gets to his feet and hooks Donnie’s head for a DDT. He positions himself to DDT Donnie right on the treadmill...but Donnie blocks it! Donnie wraps both his arms around Henri’s body and he squeezes...it’s a bear hug! He’s squeezing the raw, open wounds on Henri’s back as the blood stains his arms and hands. Henri yells out in pain. Amby turns around hearing the screams...she asks Donnie if he wants to give it up~

Smith: Wrong guy, Amby.

Hood: I don’t know, Donnie may want to quit.

Smith: Why? He’s in the dominant position!

~Henri knows he’s in trouble so he drives a few elbows into the back of Donnie’s neck. He reaches for the ear he pulled on earlier and rips at it. Donnie’ lets the bear hug go! Amby steps back, nearly falling over. Henri hops up onto the treadmill, placing his feet on the sides with the tread running between his legs. He reaches for Donnie’s head and looks for an X-Factor onto the tread~

Smith: How is that thing still running?

Hood: They don’t make them like they used to, Smith.

Smith: Regardless if Henri hits this it’s going to do some serious damage to Donnie’s face.

Hood: Really put a dent into his love life. Plus side is while recovering he’ll have more time to answer anonymous questions on twitter.

~Henri pulls Donnie forward and gets him into position...but Donnie slugs Henri in the gut, stalling him out. Donnie hops up onto the treadmill with the running tread between his legs...both men in a tenuous state. Donnie nails Henri with a forearm uppercut...Henri stumbles back against the treadmill control panel. Donnie spins around and grabs Henri, placing him over his shoulder. He looks down at the tread running between his legs~

Smith: No...not a piledriver onto the treadmill!

Hood: Y2James is about to have some company!

~Henry rakes the eyes of Donnie!! He wraps his legs around Donnie’s body and applies a rearnaked choke!! He’s got Koupé Tèt locked in!!! Henri throws his body back and lands on the tread with Donnie locked into his finisher! The tread scratches and rakes across Henri’s back! He yells out in pain but won’t let go, continuing to choke Donnie out. Amby staggers around, feeling around, getting her hands on Donnie, checking to see if he’s okay~

Smith: Donnie’s in trouble!

Hood: Amby copping a nice feel of Donnie’s muscles.

Smith: She’s just trying to do her job!

~Donnie tries to sit up...his eyes are groggy. He can’t last much longer. He throws his body back, violently, slamming Henri against the tread! Henri yells out but he won’t let go! He chokes Donnie harder...Donnie starts to gurgle. Blood leaks from his already wounded nose. His body goes limp. Amby feels around...she grabs his arm and raises it...it falls and she waves her hands in the air~

Smith: Donnie’s out! He’s out!

Hood: Does this mean Henri wins?

Smith: It means Henri survives!

~Henri throws Donnie off him and rolls off the treadmill. He’s on all fours, gasping for air and wincing as his red, bloodied back is exposed for all to see. Amby feels around and grabs onto Henri’s arm, helping to his feet! She throws it in the air as the goons outside respond~

“YURRRRRR!!!”

Harvey Marx: GOONS!!! I have just been informed that Henri Toussaint has survived the Weight Room and has earned another night inside the haunted house for Cursed Countdown! Donnie Harris, however, has been eliminated!

Smith: A huge let down for all the Donnie Harris fans.

Hood: Ah well, shit happens man.

Smith: But Henri finally backs up his talk with a huge win! He’s one step closer to claiming the OCW Title.

five

~Henri pulls his arm away from Amby and looks at her like “A blind ref? I hope this decision stands.” He reaches for his ravaged back as we float back upstairs and into the room with the three unconscious wrestlers~

IF ONLY

~Marcus pulls LCP off the mat and whips him hard into a corner. He charges in with a HUGE splash!! The fans continue to go wild. As they do, we see Lord Allton struggle from out of the crowd, hopping over the guardrail and stumbling around the field. The ladder is nearby. He grabs it and waits~

Smith: Lord Allton showing tremendous resiliency.

Hood: Getting thrown off a ladder and into a crowd is a tough way to fall. But I’m sure some obese fan probably broke most of it.

Smith: Wrestling fans are good for something, it appears.

~Ka’Derrion steps up onto the middle buckle and starts pummeling LCP with right hands. LCP ducks down and through Ka’Derrion’s legs! He takes off running. Marcus hops off the middle buckle, charges forward and he nearly spears LCP in half!!!! The crowd goes wild as LCP hits the mat, curling up, holding his insides. Marcus fires back up...he takes off, hitting the ropes, he bounces off...and Lord Allton throws the ladder into the ring like a javelin. SMACK!! It hits Marcus right in the face!!! Ka’Derrion staggers around, stunned~

Smith: Tremendous aim by Lord Allton! He’s got Marcus on dream street!

Hood: This whole thing feels like a dream.

Smith: I know. I’ve never quite seen action like this!

~Lord Allton slides into the ring and picks the ladder back up. He hits the ropes, charges off and uses the ladder to clothesline Ka’Derrion! Marcus turns inside out, landing hard on the mat. Allton spins around and sees LCP on his feet...he throws the ladder at LCP. LCP catches it...Lord Allton leaps up and delivers a spinning heel kick, smacking the ladder into LCP’s face!! He’s down and Lord Allton fires back up to his feet, turning his attention toward the prize above. Our view freezes...it goes black and white before fading back into the dark room with the three unconscious men. Slowly, we exit, heading back to the guest room~

ONLY IF

Smith: How would you call the action in the Home Office right now?

Hood: I don’t know. Lord Allton seems to be dreaming the hardest.

Smith: But that LCP has a wild imagination.

Hood: Yep. And...can Zombies even dream?

Smith: No idea.

~Vhodka rips at Knox’s eyes under the glow of moonlight. He reaches back, snagging her by the wig and throwing her forward, over his head. She holds onto his head and hits a stunner on her way down!!! Knox falls back, reeling on his heels~

Smith: It wasn’t quite Screwdriver but it was close!

Hood: Knox looks SCREWED, thoughts

Smith: First time all match I can feel the tide turning

~Vhodka hops up onto the guest bed and jumps around a few times. It’s still got some spring in it. She backs up and runs forward, leaping off the bed and throwing her body at Knox!! SLAM! Her body smashes into Knox, taking him down, hard on the floor!! Vhodka rolls off him and sees the vibrating hair brush. She grabs it and kneels over The Raven. She starts to pummel him in the head with the brush~

Smith: Straight from Welsh’s ass to Knox’s face.

Hood: Somebody needs to tell Knox Welsh doesn’t run this place anymore. No need in kissing his ass.

Smith: I’m not sure he’s doing it voluntarily.

~Vhodka finishes spiking the hair brush into Knox’s forehead. For fun, she turns the vibrator on and scrubs his forehead with some of the bristles before turning her focus to the window and the objective. Standing, she grabs Knox’s legs and tries to drag him toward the window. It’s tough...she’s not strong enough to get him very far...but the Mummy rises and stumbles her way. He grabs one of Knox’s legs and helps out...together they start to slowly drag Knox toward the window as our view flies through the broken window and down toward the yard~

Smith: That Mummy has it out for Knox.

Hood: Probably because it’s the one mommy Knox has yet to fuck.

Smith: It’s a Mummy not a mommy.

Hood: Meh, close enough.

~We go beyond the yard and into the grave where Grenier and Zybala slug it out, each man trading one fist for another. Grenier starts to overtake Zybala with heavy right hands. The smaller Mike Zybala stumbles around, leaning against the wall of the grave. Bob rears back...but a pale hand emerges from the grave wall, snatching his arm and holding it back. Bob yells for it to let go...but it won’t. Mike charges forward and runs his shoulder into Bob’s midsection, slamming him back first into the grave wall~

Smith: A brawl taking place inside that very deep and wide grave Mike and Bob dug earlier this evening.

Hood: Bob grew up on a farm. AN AMISH farm. The man knows how to dig.

Smith: Fair enough.

~Grenier delivers a few double axe handles into Mike’s back. His strength once again overpowering Mike’s resolve. Bob hooks Mike around the waist and picks him up for a powerbomb!! But Mike reaches for the top of the grave! He snatches some grass and tries to pull himself out! Grenier yells and rips Mike free, slamming him down into the bottom of the grave with a powerbomb!! The earth shakes! Mike moans, flat on his back. Grenier looks up and sees salvation...he reaches to pull himself out of the grave~

Smith: Mike is down! If Bob can get out of that grave he’ll win!

Hood: Payback is a bitch. Mike buried Duce all those years ago...turnabout is fairplay.

Smith: It certainly can be!

~Bob reaches up and starts to climb out. But pale hands break through the dirt and hold on to him...they won’t let him leave the grave. Bob kicks at them and tries to get them off him. But, for each one he kicks away, another bursts through, holding on. Our view cuts to ground level where Bob’s hands desperately grip at the grass. He tries to pull himself out but can’t...and, eventually, he falls back into the grave. We pull away and float back into the main entry of the house. The door to the Weight Room opens and Henri Toussaint emerges. He looks over and sees ghost Jade Spritz rubbing Puffer’s shoulders and wants no part of it. He heads for the front door but finds it locked. Puffer’s phone goes off~

3:00am

Smith: I think Henri’s locked in there until the sun rises.

Hood: Look I know Jade’s a ghost but she’s still a pretty hot ghost. Maybe he can go over there and, ya know, get some bang for his buck.

Smith: I think he just wants rest. Get that back healed up.

~We head upstairs and back into the Home office where all three men remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

~Lord Allton has the ladder set up. Once again he looks upward...it’s his moment to shine. The man begins the climb. The fans all rise with anticipation~

Smith: Is Lord Allton going to do it? Is he going to become the next face of OCW?

Hood: He’d better hurry if that’s his goal.

~Marcus sits up, seeing Allton climb. This is a match he can’t afford to lose...he fires up and heads over, climbing the opposite side. LCP looks up and sees both men scaling the ladder...he rolls out of the ring. Allton and Marcus meet at the top of the ladder and the two men start to punch each other, trading right hands with the object of their desire hanging right above their heads~

Smith: If Allton knocks Marcus off he’s going to win!

Hood: Vice versa...Marcus lands on good punch then he wins!

Smith: LCP is the odd man out in this equation.

Hood: Yea but he isn’t giving up...look!

~LCP slides a ladder into the ring and sets it up in a corner. He hops onto the top buckle and positions the ladder. He watches as Allton and Marcus continue to brawl at the ladder’s apex. LCP grabs onto the ladder and he rides it forward before leaping off and flying at both Allton and Marcus. They turn and they both eat a flying double clothesline from LCP!!!! All three men crash down into the ropes and mat!!! The ladders fall over! Pure carnage!! The fans go crazy ‘HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!’ It’s a total disaster...as our frame freezes and fades back into the quiet room with three unconscious men. We float back into the guest quarters~

ONLY IF

Smith: LCP seems to be smiling.

Hood: Let’s hope those dreams stay dry.

~The Mummy and Vhodka have Knox near the window. Together they pull him up and lean him over the edge. His body is half out the window. Vhodka motions for the Mummy to help her grab his legs~

Smith: The Mummy is about to assist Vhodka in eliminating Knox!

Hood: It’s official. The Mummy is a member of Triumvirate.

~Knox places his hands on the window’s edge beneath him and he shoves back with all his might! His legs kick both Vhodka and The Mummy back. Knox is on all fours. The Mummy charges him...Knox rises and wraps his hand around the Mummy’s throat. Knox lifts the Mummy up and chokeslams him into the ground!! The Mummy hits hard. Vhodka flies in and knees Knox in the face!!! Knox staggers back near the window~

Smith: That Mummy really is taking a beating.

Hood: Sure but can they feel pain? Mummy’s, I mean.

Smith: You didn’t need to clarify. And I don’t know. I’ve never met one before.

Hood: Sounds like you need to get out of the house more often, hoss.

~Vhodka does what’s in her nature and she throws her body at Knox. Knox moves!!! Vhodka falls through the window! She manages to hang on to something, dangling from the window...barely hanging on to her Cursed Countdown life. We exit through the window and down into the yard, looking up at Vhodka as she hangs from the second floor window...the dark image of Knox rising behind her~

Smith: Vhodka is in trouble!

Hood: Yes! Get rid of her, Knox! End the Triumvirate once and for all!

~We are back inside the grave down in the yard. Bob sits at the bottom, resting against the wall. He’s exhausted. Every time he tries to escape the hands grab on to him. He looks over at Mike who is beginning to stir~

Smith: Can Bob escape? What happens if both men are in that grave at sunrise?

Hood: I say bury them both.

Smith: That’s a lot of history you’d be burying.

Hood: Isn’t that the point of this whole exercise?

~Bob’s window of opportunity is closing as Zybala gets closer and closer to regaining full strength. Something registers...Bob reaches into his pants and he pulls out a fat joint. He asks if anybody has a light...a pale hand reaches out and offers one. The joint is lit and Bob takes a hit. He starts to climb out. The hands reach out, trying to stop him. So he looks down and exhales all over the hands. They suddenly start to lose their focus and strength...all going limp and hanging down toward the bottom of the grave~

Smith: I think that’s Bob’s scientifically engineered strain of marijuana he calls Northern Lights Out!

Hood: It just sedated all the dead outsider people trying to fuck him over.

Smith: What a turn of events!

~Grenier reaches for the top of the grave and grabs onto the grass, pulling himself up. He’s just about out when he looks over and sees Zybala jumping up out of the grave. Bob’s eyes widen...he’d better hurry. He pulls himself out just as Zybala does! Both men are out of the grave and laying on the ground, catching their breath as we float back inside the house where Henri and Puffer await sunrise. Puffer’s phone buzzes~

4:00am

Smith: Three hours of darkness remain. Three matches are still taking place...who is going to survive? Will these matches end on time?

Hood: Shut up and watch!

~We float back into the Home Office upstairs and the three unconscious men~

IF ONLY

~All three men are down. The fans continue to go wild. The stadium lights beat down upon them...the West Texas heat creating a sense of urgency. Lord Allton is the first one up, stumbling into a corner, trying to regain his wits. Marcus is up second, stumbling into a corner opposite Allton. Allton, seeing Marcus, grabs one of the two ladders. Marcus, not eager to be outgunned, grabs the other. Between the two men LCP rises, appearing out on his feet~

Smith: Uh oh...LCP! Look out!

Hood: The Margarita Mix champ is about get all the juice squeezed from his head.

~Allton and Marcus charge forward with their ladders. LCP ducks!! Allton and Marcus SLAM into each other with their ladders! They stagger back! LCP pops back to his feet and he superkicks one ladder into Ka’Derrion’s face. He then dropkicks the other into Allton’s face!! Both men stumble back into their corners, holding onto their ladders. LCP charges in with a HUGE splash onto Ka’Derrion and his ladder! He fires up and leaps through the air with another huge splash, crushing Allton’s ladder into his body!! The fans are on their feet “LCP! LCP!” He yells out, fired up in the center of the ring as our frame freezes and goes black and white before fading out into the dark room with the three unconscious men~

ONLY IF

Smith: Is that pain I see on Allton’s face?

Hood: It’s that or gas.

Smith: Let’s go with pain.

~We float back into the guest room. Vhodka hangs from the window. Knox stands over here, staring down. He grabs one of her hands and rips her fingers free!! Vhodka now hangs by one hand. The Goons and Ball Ball look on from behind the yard with great anxiety. Knox reaches for her other hand...but he’s attacked from behind by The Mummy~

Smith: The Mummy remains a factor!

Hood: Kill that fuckin Mummy, Knox!

~Knox has had enough. He turns around and kicks The Mummy in the gut. He delivers a shin kick to the outside of the Mummy’s knee before dropping the Mummy face first with an Axe Kick (To the Guillotine)!!! Knox snatches The Mummy by his head and hoists him up onto his shoulders before hitting a GTS (Into the Void)!! The Mummy is knocked out. Knox stands over him~

Smith: If the Mummy wasn’t already dead...he might be now.

Hood: Even Mummies gotta learn that if you fuck around you’re gonna find out.

~Knox grabs the wrapping around the Mummy’s head and begins ripping it off...he stands back, eyes wide. “Rico”~

Smith: It’s Rico Dominguez!

Hood: Damn so he’s more of a burn victim than a mummy, I guess.

Smith: Rico came to Key West seeking revenge

~A shocked Knox turns around. Vhodka is perched in the window...she leaps off and hits Knox with SCREWDRIVER!!!! Knox falls back, laying next to the unconscious burned body of Rico. We float out of the guest room and back down to the yard where Bob and Zybala stagger to their feet~

Smith: One of those men is going into that grave and seeing their hopes of claiming the OCW Title dashed.

Hood: Two hall of famers trying to bury each other...that’s classic OCW, baby!

~Zybala motions or Bob to come after him. He yells, “If you want me to stop booking you then make me!” Bob, the fat joint hanging from his mouth, has no problem with that. He charges at Mike...but Mike ducks! Bob turns around and he heats a SUPERKICK!!! Bob is staggered!! Mike fires up! A bunch of pale hands emerge from the dirt, slapping the ground...Mike stomps the dirt with his foot in unison~

Smith: It’s an outsiders graveyard stomp! Mike and the dead hands of Outsiders past are in unison!

Hood: This is fuckin ridiculous

~Zybala charges forward looking to SUPERKICK Bob into the grave. But Bob blows a massive cloud of Northern Lights Out into Mike’s face!!! Mike is staggered...his eyes grow heavy...he stumbles around~

Smith: Oh no! Mike might be finished!

Hood: Science looks to prevail once again!

~Grenier shakes off the superkick and he picks Mike up onto his shoulders. He’s got him in position for Hollinger Park Hangman (Muscle Buster). Bob looks down into the grave, joint hanging from his mouth. He turns, his back to the grave...he’s prepared to drop Mike inside...but Mike rakes Bob across his cut and bleeding back!! Bob yells out. Mike drops down in front of Bob...Mike takes a step back and then rushes forward with a SUPERKICK!!!!! Bob goes stiff and falls into the grave! A huge thud!!! Ball Ball and the goons go wild!!!! Mike drops to his knees, exhausted and a little high. The pale hands start to pile the dirt on top of Bob~

Smith: Mike did it! He buried Bob!

Hood: Fuckin hell. Mike survives.

Harvey Marx: Goons!

“YURRRRRR!!!!”

Harvey Marx: I have just received word that Mike Zybala has survived the yard and will live to fight another night inside this house at Cursed Countdown! Sadly, Bob Grenier has been eliminated.

~We cut back inside where Henri Toussaint hears the announcement. He turns and sees Mike Zybala staggering into the main entry. The two men size one another up before Puffer’s phone buzzes~

5:00am

six

Smith: We are two hours away from sunrise with two matches in progress!

Hood: One match. The other one might just be nap time for all we know.

~Speaking of nap time, we head back into the Home Office where the three competitors remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

~LCP looks up at the prize hanging above. He heads over and snares the ladder in front of Marcus, tossing it aside. He grabs Marcus and whips him across the ring. Marcus SLAMS into the ladder that’s blocking Lord Allton! LCP rushes in and delivers another huge splash, crushing Marcus, the ladder, and Allton into the corner. He grabs the ladder and shoves Marcus in front of Allton...he wedges the ladder into the ropes, locking both men in the corner! The fans go wild~

Smith: What brilliance by LCP!

Hood: This must be a dream.

~LCP snares the free ladder and sets it up under the prize. He looks up and raises his hand high in the air as the fans chant “LCP! LCP! LCP!” He starts the climb. The scene freezes and turns black and white before fading out. We’re back in the office with the three unconscious men. We exit, heading to the guest room~

ONLY IF

Smith: I wonder what’s going on with Knox and Vhodka.

Hood: AND RICO...don’t forget about RICO

Smith: Yes, yes, Rico.

~Vhodka drops down next to the burned Rico and caresses his once beautiful face. She sees Knox starting to move and stops rubbing Rico’s face and shoves his head forward, knocking it against Knox’s. Knox groans. Vhodka grabs a handful of Knox’s jet black hair, yanking him into a seated position. She looks down at her shoe. She pulls Knox up to all fours and rears back, kicking him right into the ass~

Smith: Oh my gosh!

Hood: It’s the dreaded Shoe Wedgie!

Smith: Vhodka hasn’t performed that move in years.

Hood: And by years you mean however old she is.

~Knox stumbles forward and leans out the window. Vhodka rushes ahead, grabbing his legs, trying to hoist him out. She hears Rico moaning behind her. She urges Rico to help her...the groggy Rico sits up, wondering why his head hurts so bad. But he sees revenge in his sights and crawls forward to help Vhodka dispose of Knox. We head through the floor and downstairs into the Wine Cellar where Mack hands Glum some pills~

Smith: Why is Mack giving that clown some pills?

Hood: Mack is just trying to aid Glum in achieving his dream.

~Glum goes to toss the pills back but another ghost appears, snatching the pills from his grasp. Glum sighs and takes another sip of wine~

Mack O’Connor: Sucks.

~The door opens and both men turn. The figure of a woman stands in the light as the faint music of Katy Perry plays in the background~

Karly Ward: Hi.

Mack O’Connor: No. I don’t want to know. Go away.

Glum: Kill me now.

~Karly laughs. But Glum ain’t laughing. Mack does his best to act like she doesn’t exist~

Karly Ward: Can I have a drink even though I’m barely 18?

~Mack turns and stares at her~

Mack O’Connor: I don’t want any part of whatever weird old guy put you together. Just go away and bother Donnie Harris.

Glum: Do you have a knife?

~Karly giggles and reaches into her purse, revealing a metal file with a sharp tip. Glum takes it and stabs at his throat. But, again, the ghosts appear, taking the file from him. Glum slams his head onto the bar as hard as he can. We leave the Wine Cellar and enter back into the main hall where Zybala and Henri rest and wait. Zybala watches Jade massaging Puffer. Henri is like ‘don’t ask’. Puffer’s phone goes off~

6:00am

Smith: One hour until sunrise...my how time flies!

Hood: You’re telling me. Seems like the closer we get to sunrise the faster this time ticks down.

Smith: Almost as though the house is ready for this night to end.

Hood: I mean it is cursed so time might move differently...could be a thing, right?

Smith: It could be! Regardless, sunrise is just an hour away and we’ve got two contests ongoing!

~Back inside the Home Office all three men remain unconscious~

IF ONLY

Smith: LCP is beginning his climb!

Hood: Allton and Marcus are stuck!

Smith: Listen to these fans!!

~LCP starts his climb. Allton and Marcus are stuck...they try to remove the ladder but it’s wedged in real tight. LCP gets halfway up the ladder and he pumps his fist in the air. “LCP! LCP! LCP!” We even see Bam Miller in the crowd cheering him on~

Smith: Focus on the task at hand, LCP!

Hood: Wow, Bam Miller...good to see he’s still around.

Smith: What do you mean, he wrestled just last week!

Hood: Oh, yea. That’s right. Weird.

~Lord Allton senses his opportunity is evaporating before his eyes. He grabs Marcus Ka’Derrion by the head and starts ramming him face first into the ladder. He bashes Ka’Derrion’s body into the ladder over and over...the ladder weakens. It bends. Allton yells out and throws Ka’Derrion’s body forward and it smashes through the ladder sending pieces flying everywhere. LCP looks down with wide eyes like ‘holy shit’. Allton looks up and points at LCP...the fans yell “YOU!!!” Allton heads for the ladder as the scene freezes and goes to black and white. We return to the quiet three sleeping competitors inside the Home Office~

ONLY IF

Smith: Lord Allton looks like he’s concentrating really hard.

Hood: Oh geez maybe it is gas.

Smith: That or he’s dreaming super hard. Zombie Marcus is starting to twitch.

Hood: BUSINESS IS PICKING UP, right?

Smith: In it’s own way, sure.

~We head back inside the guest room where Rico and Vhodka are trying to dump Knox out of the window. The Goons and Ball Ball down below go wild! Knox starts to come to...he looks down and sees the Ghost of Leo! The Ghost of Leo floats up toward him and hands him a framed photo of Vhodka’s old OCW roster photo. It’s got a bunch of dicks drawn on it. Knox takes it and goes back to playing dead. Leo vanishes~

Smith: Uh Oh...Knox is armed!

Hood: With a dick covered photo of Vhodka!

~Vhodka leans out of the window to push down on Knox’s head while Rico keeps working on his legs. Knox suddenly animates! He slings the framed picture and catches Vhodka in the side of the eye with it!! She staggers back, holding her eye. Rico freezes...Knox turns around and jams the top of the photo into Rico’s throat, causing him to wheeze and gasp for air. Knox pops to his feet and he smashes the framed photo over Vhodka’s head!! She falls to the ground~

Smith: Vhodka is in trouble now!

Hood: Knox is a menace, man. The ghosts better hide from him.

Smith: I wouldn’t wanna be in there with him, that’s for sure.

~Knox snags Rico and pulls him off the ground, slinging him through the window! Rico screams as he falls out the window...but his wrapping gets caught on the edge, keeping him from falling all the way to the ground. Knox turns around, pissed off he can’t get rid of this guy. He punches him in the head over and over...Rico just hangs from the window. Knox senses something’s up...he turns and Vhodka is back on her feet...she swings for the fences with what remains of the photo Leo gave Knox...but he ducks it!! He hooks her from behind~

Smith: Oh no...not a German Suplex through the window!

Hood: Oh yes...end it now, Knox!

~But Vhodka throws a mule kick right into Knox’s groin!!! Knox doubles over. Vhodka grabs the Tears of the Purged Book and delivers a HUGE uppercut that sends Knox staggering toward the window. Vhodka throws the book down and yells, charging at Knox. She dives into him with a SPEAR!!!! The impact sends both wrestlers through the window~

Smith: Oh my goodness!

Hood: Holy shit!

~We cut outside as the Goons and Ball Ball hold their breath with anticipation. Vhodka spears Knox!!! Knox’s body flies out of the window and he this the yard!!! Vhodka tumbles out of the window but manages to grab on to some of Rico’s bandages...she hangs. The goons bite their nails...Ball Ball grips his Burger King crown. Vhodka fights and fights...she gets her balance and she crawls up Rico’s body and back into the Guest Room!! ‘YURRRRRR!!!’ The goons celebrate as Ball Ball does the crip walk~

Smith: She did it! Vhodka Black survives!

Hood: Fuckin hell. That damn Rico!

Harvey Marx: GOONS!! Vhodka Black has survived the Guest Room and stays alive to compete in another night of Cursed Countdown as she pursues the OCW Title. Matt Knox, sadly, has been eliminated!!

~Vhodka remains in the room. She looks down at Rico who hands by a literal thread~

Rico Dominguez: Help me.

~Vhodka nods. Extending her hand~

Rico Dominguez: We can go and join WGWF together and…

~Vhodka pulls her hand back and kicks him in the face. Rico falls to the yard with a very devastating thud. The goons go silent and look at Ball Ball...and then they~

“YURRRRRR!!!!”

~Vhodka turns around and finds her vibrating brush. She picks it up and kicks the door open, marching past Tony. Henri and Zybala look up as she descends the stairs and tries the front door~

Vhodka Black: Figures

~It isn’t unlocked. Not yet. She leans against it. Zybala and Henri both step toward her...she turns the vibrating brush on as a warning. They decide to keep their distance. Puffer’s phone goes off~

7:00am

Smith: Uh oh...the sun is rising!

Hood: Only a few minutes left until this final match is forced to end!

Smith: What happens if there is no victor? Do they remain asleep forever?

Hood: Imprisoned in this house for all eternity? My gosh. That would be almost as bad as living your entire life as Glum.

~We’re in the final room. The Home Office. All three wrestlers remain unconscious as sunlight slowly starts to creep in, sliding across the floor, nearing all three~

IF ONLY

Smith: LCP has to hurry!

Hood: So does Allton...is it just me or are these lights getting brighter?

Smith: They’re really bearing down on us...I’m finding it hard to breathe.

Hood: No shit, I can barely see.

~Allton scales the ladder across from LCP. The two men reach the top. LCP tries to grab the bright orb above...but he misses it. Allton punches him in the face. LCP is rocked! LCP responds with a smack across Allton’s face, nearly sending him off the top of the ladder! The fans continue to cheer...although a few screams are heard. We look out into the crowd and fans start to burn up, turning to ash before our eyes~

Smith: What’s going on?

Hood: Is this the end of the world?

Smith: As we know it, perhaps.

~Allton straightens back up and delivers a huge headbutt to LCP!!! He leans back, his legs locking against the ladder rungs, keeping him from falling. Lord Allton stands tall, reaching the top of the ladder. The golden orb shining in front of his eyes...the prize he’s long awaited~

Smith: Grab it, hurry! Before we all burn up!

~A dark menace rises behind Lord Allton. It’s Marcus Ka’Derrion! He’s got two of the broken off rungs from the second ladder...one in each hand. He smashes them into the sides of Allton’s head once...twice...three times!! Allton falls from the ladder landing HARD on the mat!! The few remaining fans cheer...but they continue to burn up~

Smith: Allton is out! Marcus needs to hurry!! This entire scene is about to burn up...right, Hood? Hood?

~Hood is gone. Burned up like the rest. The ring starts to burn up, disappearing. The fans are gone~

Smith: Hurry, Marcus! Hurry!

~Smith vanishes. Marcus reaches for the bright orb. LCP straights up but is still out of it. Marcus grabs the orb. LCP leans in and he falls forward (some might even say upward!) into Marcus as the orb disconnects! Both men tumbles to the mat as the entire scene goes white and silent~

ONLY IF

Smith: Are they waking up?

Hood: The sun is up

~LCP pushes himself up off the floor and looks around, confused. He looks at Allton who remains asleep~

Smith: LCP is awake!

Hood: Does that mean he survives?

Zombie Marcus: Argh! ARGH

~Zombie Marcus staggers to his feet, wide awake. LCP backs away, keeping his distance~

Smith: Zombie Marcus is awake! Lord Allton remains unconscious.

Hood: I can only take this to mean.

~Both President Dean and Cheasy M appear~

President Dean: Congratulations, Zombie Marcus. You may continue.

Smith: Zombie Marcus survives!

Cheasy M: Congratulations LCP...you may also continue.

Hood: And LCP!!!

Smith: I don’t know what was going on in their ‘dream’ state but it must have been wild.

Hood: It looks like Lord Allton is eliminated, though.

~We cut back outside to Harvey Marx. He looks up at the sun which is rising high into the air~

Harvey Marx: The final results are in, Goons!! Both LCP and Zombie Marcus have survived the Home Office and are alive to remain competing at Cursed Countdown for at least one more evening! Lord Allton, sadly, is eliminated.

~Harvey lowers his head and takes a deep breath. He drops the mic into the ground and walks away. His job for the evening is finished. We head back inside the main entry. Vhodka, Henri, and Zybala look up to find LCP and Zombie Marcus exiting the Home Office. Two of the first floor doors open and out walk Mack O’Connor and Duce Jones~

Smith: Seven left, Hood. Seven survivors!

Hood: A third of the field already eliminated.

Smith: Henri Toussaint, Vhodka Black, Mike Zybala, LC Pinkston, Zombie Marcus, Mack O’Connor, and Duce Jones will all return next week for Episode 2!

Hood: Best of luck to them.

~Vhodka tries the front door and it opens. One by one they exit the house. Puffer’s phone goes off and he finally wakes up, rubbing his head~

Jack Puffer: What a weird dream. I have a sudden urge to go home and watch Son in Law.

~OCW crew members led by The Knife Man enter the house for cleanup. Outside we see Derek Mobley eyeing the surviving contestants as Eugene shows him recorded video from the previous evening~

Derek Mobley: Okay, I’ve seen enough.

Eugene: Should we continue. Is it worth it?

~Mobley watches as Lord Allton, Matt Knox, Donnie Harris, and Bob Grenier are all evacuated~

Derek Mobley: If we quit now what does that say about the effort those four put in? Somebody is going to break this curse, Eugene. We can’t quit now.

Eugene: It’s going to get a lot tougher before it gets any easier, though.

Derek Mobley: That’s usually how success works. We’ll get through this. We always do.

~Sunrise in Key West brings about the sober realization of the task at hand. We head back inside toward a door that went unmentioned throughout the evening. A door hidden to the untrained eye. It leads into the basement where Cocco Ricci waits~

Cocco Ricci: Eleven competitors entered last night seeking to break this Curse and claim the original OCW Title. But only the ones with the right goals and motivations will survive. Lord Allton tried to purchase this house and buy his way into good favor. An act that did him no good when it mattered most. Matt Knox tried to burn an innocent man alive to earn his spot so he could get spiteful revenge on an old adversary. Another tactic that, obviously, did not prevail. Donnie Harris assumed merely hanging around and existing would pay off with great reward. Henri proved it doesn’t matter how much tenure you have. It’s all about talent. And finally, Bob Grenier entered the yard without giving it the proper respect. Mike Zybala made him pay.

~Ricci looks down at the old OCW title as it seems to live and breathe in the bottom of the basement~

Cocco Ricci: 7 wrestlers remain. Which one will prove to have what it takes to outlast the others and break this curse? If you ask me, they all have some work to do to get there. We’ll see you next week for another night of Cursed Countdown.

~We glitch. We cut away~

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